#Here we go this is here

[banannabethchase]

"Did you just growl at me?" ClaudioNick

What's In Your Hands - also on AO3

~

Nick wants his goddamned coffee and everybody in the venue is in the way. Claudio intervenes.

~

This is Sarah's fault. I claim no responsibility. But, hey, bingo square I1 Hatesex is done! Title from Fuck by Snow Wife.

~

Nick ducks through the crowds, intent on getting back to the food. He's not in the mood to socialize. Matt, even an entire bed away, snored so bad the night before Nick barely slept, then he overslept and didn't have time to get coffee.

He needs coffee. He needs coffee right now, and all of these assholes are standing in between him and concessions.

"Oh, are you effing kidding me," Nick snarls. Claudio is at the coffee station, probably making infuriatingly cordial small talk. It makes his skin crawl.

"And then, you would not believe it, the TSA agent claimed it was shampoo in my bag!" Claudio finishes his sentence with a stupid European sexy laugh, and the barista laughs with him.

Nick isn't proud of what he does next.

In response, Claudio turns around. "Nicholas," he says pleasantly, "did you just growl at me?"

"You're taking too effing long," Nick says, folding his arms across his chest. "Get your dang coffee and move on."

"Elizabeth," Claudio says, "if you would, could you procure for my friend - "

"I am not your friend."

"For my friend," Claudio says again, glaring at Nick, "an iced vanilla latte?"

"Of course," the barista says, beaming.

"On me," Claudio says. He tucks a few dollars into the tip jar. "Add it to my order, if you please."

Elizabeth the Barista begins making her coffee.

"You," Claudio says, in a voice low and dangerous, "need to watch your tone when speaking to service workers."

"I wasn't speaking to service workers," Nick says. "I was speaking to you, who was in the way of me and my coffee." He pauses. "Thanks, by the way. I guess. You didn't have to do that."

"Clearly I did," Claudio scoffs. "You were about to steamroll the entire room for your coffee."

Nick shrugs, unsure whether to feel touched or condescended to. He decides to feel both.

He shuffles behind Claudio until their coffees are ready, then takes the coffee Claudio shoves into his hand.

"Come now, Nicholas," Claudio says, and Nick is way too cool with it when he puts his hand on the back of Nick's neck to steer him. "I'll get you out of the way of the unsuspecting innocents in order to protect them from your caffeine deprived rage."

"It's not rage," Nick snaps, and he doesn't know why he's okay with being pushed around. He gets guided into a locker room that is thankfully empty. "What are you doing?"

"Like I said," Claudio says, and he kicks the door closed behind him as he sips what is probably some stupid French fancy coffee thing, "you are not in a mood other people should suffer."

"And you're willing to put up with it?" Nick chugs half his coffee in one go of it, and he does feel a little better as the caffeine hits his tongue.

"My goodness," Claudio chuckles. "You do like your coffee."

"It's coffee," Nick says, rolling his eyes. "Of course I like it."

"The moaning was a surprise."

Nick blinks. "Moaning?"

"You moaned when you took a sip," Claudio says, and he locks his eyes on Nick's when he takes his own sip. “Quite a lovely sound, really.”

Nick breaks eye contact and downs the rest of the drink. “No, I didn’t,” he mumbles as he wipes at his mouth.

“You did,” Claudio says. “You are full of surprises.”

“Okay, I’ve had my coffee now,” Nick says, and he’s beginning to wonder if this is how Matt feels, like, all the time. Too seen, too obvious, too noticed. Matt likes it. Nick doesn’t. “Let me out.”

Claudio’s smile is soft as he takes another sip. “I don’t think I will.”

Nick thinks for a second. There’s a window he could jump out of, in the corner. He could manhandle Claudio out of the way, but there’s an element of surprise necessary that he doesn’t have.

There’s the Matt strategy, but he’s not that desperate yet.

He strides toward Claudio and snatches the coffee out of his hands, throwing it back. It’s burning hot and bitter as hell.

“What the hell!” Claudio says. He dissolves into swearing in what Nick can only assume is German.

Nick hands the empty cup back to Claudio. “There. Is that enough caffeine to let me go?”

“Absolutely not,” Claudio says, glaring. “Why on earth would you do that?”

Nick shrugs. “Took you off guard, didn’t it?”

Claudio licks his lips. “Did you really think,” he says, and his voice is dark in a way that gets Nick’s dick way too interested, “that would work?”

Before Claudio can move, Nick walks up to him, closing the distance. “No, but it was funny.”

Nick truly doesn’t know what Claudio’s next move will be. He might smack Nick in the face. He might shove him to the floor. He might move to the side and let Nick leave.

Or, and this is where he curses his relation to Matt, there’s the other move. The one he secretly really wants to happen.

There really is nothing like sex with someone you kind of hate.

“Come on,” Nick says, grinning. “What are you gonna do?”

Claudio makes an exasperated sound, something uncontrolled and spontaneous in a way Nick had never expected before. He puts his hand around Nick’s throat and walks him backward until Nick’s back hits the wall.

Perfect.

“You drank my coffee,” Claudio growls.

“Are you growling at me?” Nick mocks, trying his best to sound like Claudio. It snaps something in Claudio.

He leans down and kisses Nick with fury, with frustration, and it’s the best kiss Nick’s had in ages. Nick fists his hand in Claudio’s shirt, trying to give back as much as he’s getting.

“You absolute prick,” Claudio snarls. “It’s infuriating how you still manage to be attractive.”

“It’s the eyes,” Nick says, angling for casual but sounding, even to his own ears, a little breathless.

Claudio rolls his eyes. “Insufferable,” he grumbles, and then his mouth is back on Nick.

Hands are everywhere, and when Claudio’s giant hand cups Nick’s dick through his jeans, Nick’s knees give out.

“Oh, no,” Claudio murmurs, biting at Nick’s neck. “You stand or we’re done.”

“I – what?” Nick asks. His head is spinning. All he wants is for Claudio to get his hand back on his dick. “Fine. Whatever. Get – come back.”

“Gladly.”

With a single hand, Claudio deftly flicks the button to Nick’s jeans open and pulls down the zipper. He dips his hand in Nick’s pants and Nick has to fight to stay standing.

“Good boy,” Claudio says, and Nick whines so high pitched he wonders if he’ll ever live this down. “I’m going to grab your dick now.”

“Good,” Nick gasps. “So good. Please.”

Claudio looms over him and slides his hand into Nick’s pants. “There you are.” He laughs as Nick bucks up into his hands, too far gone to feel embarrassed about being this desperate. He pulls his hand out and offers two fingers to Nick, who sucks them into his mouth before he can stop himself.

“Look at you,” Claudio says, almost reverently. “You can be so sweet when I shut you up.” He pulls his fingers out and wraps his hand around Nick’s dick.

He knows, he knows, this is going to be over embarrassingly fast. The caffeine is starting to build in his brain, settling a focused weight over his mind that tells him just how effing stupid this whole situation is. He doesn’t care.

He thrusts up into the circle of Claudio’s hand, open mouth pressed against Claudio’s in something that can’t be called a kiss.

“Oh, my god,” he whimpers as Claudio changes his angle. “Claudio – I – I hate you.” He comes so hard his knees do give out, but Claudio’s second hand on his waist pins him to the wall.

Claudio laughs. “This tells me otherwise, Nicholas.” He presses a biting kiss to Nick’s lips.

“Wait,” Nick says. “Wait, I have to…” He trails off and shoves Claudio’s track pants down his hips. He’s momentarily stunned by the size. But he can make this work. He threads his fingers with Claudio’s hand, ignoring how bizarre it is to be using his own come to ease the way of a hand job, but Claudio exhales so shakily that Nick thinks he’s doing something right.

“Turn around,” Nick demands, and shoves Claudio up against the wall. He strokes furiously, quickly, trying to pretend he doesn’t want to feel Claudio’s cock in other places. He’s probably just in a post orgasm haze.

An orgasm brought on by Claudio, his brain reminds him.

“Shut up,” he grumbles.

“I’m not speaking!” Claudio laughs and gasps. “My goodness, are you a handful.”

Nick snorts. “That’s funny. That’s a funny joke. Shut up and come already.”

Claudio pants and they both watch as he pushes his hips up. Nick is fascinated – he’s never seen a dick this big before. When Claudio comes, it’s emphatic and messy and Nick is weirdly smug about how Claudio slides down the wall.

“Hah-hah,” Nick says. “You fell down.”

Claudio stares at him. “You just gave me the – what do the Americans say – hand job of a lifetime, and that’s your response?”

Nick shrugs, hopping to get his pants back up his legs. He’s sticky, but he can shower after his match. “Look, you’re on the ground now, man. I can leave.” He saunters over to the door, then pauses. He turns to Claudio and licks up the come still all over his hand, sure to keep eye contact with the man getting to his feet. “Stop by next time, though. Maybe next time I’ll let you fuck me.”

Claudio scoffs, undignified and real in a way Nick didn’t know he was capable of. “Let me,” he says, shaking his head. “You should be so lucky.”

Nick shrugs as he cleans up the rest of his hand, wiping it on his shirt. “Later, dude. Thanks for the orgasm.” He’s got a new pep in his step as he makes his way down the hallway, waving to people.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Mox asks, passing him. His eyes widen. “And why were you leaving the Blackpool locker room?”

Nick grins at him. “Because Claudio bought me a coffee.”

Mox’s mouth opens, then closes, then opens again. Then he closes his eyes. “Fucking – of course.”

Nick would ask for more clarification, but Mox walks away. He makes it to the room labeled Elite and pushes his way in.

“Hey,” he says, flopping on the couch. “What’s up?”

“Why are you so chipper?” Matt asks, frowning as he scrubs at a sneaker with a cleaning rag. “What – oh, god.”

“What?” Nick asks. Everything’s back in his pants. He doesn’t looked freshly fucked, he doesn’t think. “What’s your issue?”

“We can tell why you’re in a good mood,” Adam says, nose in a book. He shoves his glasses up his nose, and looks at Nick over the top of his glasses.

“What – yeah, I got coffee,” Nick says. He wills his face to stay neutral. “And?”

“And,” Adam says, and Nick hates it when he uses his teacher voice, “you have come on your shirt.”

Matt wrinkles his nose and goes to his bag. “Shameless,” he says, shaking his head. He chucks a clean shirt at Nick from his luggage. “And right before a title match.”

Nick catches the shirt and pulls the dirty one off over his head, generously avoiding the urge to throw it at Matt’s face. “Title match?” Nick asks. “For the RoH belts?”

Adam nods.

“Against who?”

Matt sighs. “BCC, duh. It’s in the email.”

Nick can’t stop himself from going pale.

“Oh, no,” Adam says, finally putting the book down. “Oh, which one. Please tell me you didn’t fuck Mox.”

“I – no,” Nick says. “God, you two are acting like my parents. Leave me alone.”

“I can’t believe you effed the enemy,” Matt says, shaking his head. “Worst brother ever.”

~

Mini Playlist: Brat - Chrissy Chlapecka Fuck - Snow Wife Treat Me Like a Slut - Kim Petras Go Fuck Yourself - Two Feet

[cornpapers]

[roanofarc]

chappell roan & gerard way stage outfit parallels

chappell looks:

vmas, sept 11 2024 / hinterland, august 4 2024 / bonnaroo, june 16 2024 / hangout fest, may 18 2024 / coachella, april 12 2024

gerard looks:

corona capital mexico, nov 18 2022 / london, nov 2005 / detroit, sept 13 2022 / los angeles, oct 11 2022 (but first worn in nashville, aug 23 2022) / sydney, march 19-20 2023

PART 1/?

[daisywords]

One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.

Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.

It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?

Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hey now, Let her cook!

[pigswithwings]

above all else a trans woman is a person. above all else a trans women is a woman who goes to the same grocery store as you and buys fruits in the same grocery cart as you and goes home and eats her dinner the same as you. above all else a trans woman is a woman who dresses like you do and talks the same way you do. above all else a trans woman is a woman who wants to be cared about the same way you want to be cared about and a trans woman is a woman who makes friends the same way you make friends. above all else you should care about trans women because they are people. treat her as such.

[chiptrillino-art]

something stranger and more wonderful

(ID in ALT text)

my art for @faux-fires (ao3 Link) fic "something stranger and more wonderful"

beta red by @ranilla-bean (ao3 Link) for this years @zukkabigbang2024 event. its truly a beautiful fic. Keeping you on your toes while reading. making you worry about sokka exposed to the whims of nature and zuko, all alone.

big thank you to reikah and rana for all the handholding during this project! And stoping me form overthinking details.

[nyttvera]

# well I think it's safe to say it's mutual

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS EP 1.05

bonus EPISODE 1.08

[vilochkaaa]

Have you ever drawn harvey? Can you pretty please draw harvey?

(〃ﾟ3ﾟ〃)

[maeamian]

Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.

They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Life™, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.

So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.

[lazylittledragon]

if i had a nickel for every au spawned from twitter that i SWORE i was going to be normal about

[violent138]

The idea of the Batkids doing normal people things while suited up is hilarious to me, you know, like Red Robin and Spoiler making the 9 o'clock news while racing through a grocery store because they totally forgot to get the things Alfred asked them to bring for the family dinner. Or Damian and Dick swinging into the Bludhaven Zoo mid-patrol because Dami really wanted to see the new baby tiger. Red Hood buying lemonade from a kid's stand and then standing there awkwardly messing with his helmet, trying not to hurt the kid's feelings. Black Bat, on a particularly tiring day randomly appeared in the nosebleeds of the ballet hall and started sniping phones out of people's hands. Or Signal and a deeply irritated Batman changing out a blown-out tyre in some back alley, earning amused looks.

[fangirlghost-19]

i need an excuse to get my shit together so here we go:

if this gets 50 notes i'll drink more water everyday

if this gets 100 notes i'll start cycling once a week and logging it

if this gets 200 notes i'll start eating more fruit

if this gets 500 notes i'll apply for a summer job

if this gets 1000 notes i'll actually make plans with my friends

if this gets 2000 notes i'll tidy my entire wardrobe

if this gets 5000 notes i'll get a better skincare routine

if this gets 10 000 notes i'll do something about my mental health

the numbers are intentionally high bc i really don't want to do any of this and yeah there is a deadline of the end of june

[blueskittlesart]

maryland miku

[mugiwara-lucy]

The MAIN reason I’m voting AGAINST Trump is because this guy is a legitimate THREAT to America. What do I mean? Let’s not forget he STOLE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE:

What the fuck was he going to do with those? And when you couple the fact that he kisses ass to DICTATORS:

He is NOT someone we can afford to let back into the White House.

For the sake of us NOT becoming a dictatorship, please let’s all vote blue down the board.

SO MUCH that the votes won’t be taken to the Supreme Court because they will fuck us all over for him.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Dog Meshi.