#Her feel. not just why mike is a loser.

[muppetbyers]

i just think its incredible how the audience watched el go on a huge character journey about finding out her past and self discovery, heard "you talk of monsters and superheroes but people are not so easily defined", listened to basically everything mike said in s4 and then his monologue, and half of the audience walked away thinking that was an adequate resolution to mlvns arc because of course el's feelings about everything were exactly the same as they were before she went on this journey. of course 'im going to become a superhero again (-from el)' and then her going back to mike as “a superhero” and him only being able to talk about her like that all series was meant to be a good thing. of course this is how good relationships are written

[qqueenofhades]

Obviously the main contrasting narrative of the Harris campaign is (rightfully, the ads almost write themselves!) prosecutor vs convict. But I keep thinking about how, in one of her first campaign speeches, she had Biden on the phone and he said something like "I'm here, I love you Kid" and she said "I love you too" and just... That compared to the Jan 6th Mike Pence situation. Like this election is about democracy over fascism but it's also about love and kindness and sincerity on the level of person-to-person relationships.

Well... yeah. As Minnesota governor Tim Walz put it when he was doing the TV rounds for Kamala the other day, the Republicans are just weird people. They are mean, petty, reactionary, focused on revenge and retribution and making people suffer, their rhetoric is about shame and violence and punishment, they are all about Who Your Enemy Is, and their drift into ever more extreme fascist positions is a reflection of that. And strongman/fascist authoritarianism is often popular during moments of chaos and upheaval in the rest of the world, because the unknown feels so scary and people keep falling for the lie that a helpful dictator strongman will turn up and make it all better. It never happens, but it is a powerful lie and it can work for several years at a time, as we have (unfortunately) seen. (And Tim Walz is definitely climbing the list of Old White Guys I Like; supposedly he is on Harris' initial VP shortlist, and while I certainly have favorites of my own, she could very much do worse.)

However, and this is why fascist movements always plant the seeds of their own destruction, this constant garbage spew of hate and vitriol never ever works forever, and usually not even all that long. Because once you spend your time destroying everyone else on your mean stupid crusade of mindless bigotry, you lose friends, you alienate the ordinary people who are more interested in having something to be FOR rather than just constantly against, and eventually you eat your own. And while it will shore up your ever-dwindling cult base, it will not be able to expand beyond the people who are already fully indoctrinated, and it will lose more people than it attracts. As I have said before, one of the key tenets of fascist movements is presenting themselves as powerful, inevitable, and almighty: just surrender to them now before We Crush You (tm) later! But they are not! They are goofy, stupid, mean, and just plain (thanks Gov. Walz) WEIRD! Nobody wants to be those guys!

So yes. With the whole fact of a party where one guy tried to get his first VP killed and now has picked another reactionary loser who is the least popular VP pick in 50 years, and the other is joyfully supporting his VP, a woman of color (after serving loyally to the first Black president, Biden has set the way for the -- knock on wood -- second, and that is also amazing), it's really easy to see the difference, and very clearly, people do. Kamala offers something to rally FOR, and that is always, always more powerful than mindless hate. Sucks to be the GOP. (As usual.)

[thefirstlioveyou]

Mike only fights back against bullies after they hurt someone he loves, but never for himself.

When he was tripped? When he was pressured to jump off a cliff? he just took it and never fought against it later. He never got back at them for it.

Mike's learned to take it, but he's ashamed of it. Watching back the clip where they trip him, you can notice Mike is trying not to cry. You can hear it in his voice with the way it cracks and shakes, and especially with the noise he makes at the end. He hides how they actually make him feel.

He tries to hide the real reason why he had a mark on a chin from el, afraid she'd think of him as a wastoid/loser. He just wanted one person - just one - to not think of him the way he thinks everyone else does - the way he thinks of himself.

He hides the reason for the bruise from the first girl that's ever shown interest in him. He doesn't tell his parents. (there is zero implication his parents are aware of the bullying until finally when his son is wanted by the whole town s4. karen is right there in front of him to see the scab but we never see acknowledgment from her). There's a good chance nobody but Dustin and El know about the whole cliff thing.

We are explicitly told how Will and El feel about the bullying and hate they've faced in their life, but not Mike. They are hiding him cause LOOK AT HOW HES OUT OF FOCUS IN BOTH OF THESE SCENES!! DURING THESE LINES!!!

MIKE UNDERSTANDS THEM. He knows where they're coming from!! why isn't he just saying that? pride. shame. fear. downplaying his emotions because his parents have taught him what he thinks/feels/does does not matter. not that they insult him.. they just ignore him or things that matter to him. that's enough to make a child feel insignificant.

buddy all you did was slightly open up about feeling not needed and insulted yourself in the process...

karen failing to call it by the actual name implies she doesn't remember details about him -- the things that matter to him. his correction implies it's important to him that she refers to it by its actual name, and this is most likely not the first time he corrects her by the way he says it casually.

the fact mike has zero reaction to any of this implies this is a normal thing for him to hear in his house (another instance in which he doesn't defend himself from insults, because he himself believes it)

His parents do not go to him. They do not intervene and rather wait for him to feel better on his own. Mind you this is a 12-14 year old boy. Why on earth is it all on him to manage alone???

"how is this bad?"

this plays exactly after we get a scene of Joyce not confronting Jonathan - her son - crying in his bedroom. Jonathan is parentified. He doesn't receive the same attention he needs as a child the way Will does because he needed to help provide. Although they're entirely different situations from each other (put down the fucking pitchforks), they both include a parent avoiding emotional connection with a child that's dealing with grief to let them take care of it by themselves. this is a clear parallel that's meant to be noticed.

they continue to just wait for mike to fix it all himself.

Mike feels worthless. He feels like a loser. He feels like he doesn't belong the same way El and Will do. He doesn't feel needed. But he's not gonna say it because he's learnt it doesn't matter. We have all the reasons to believe why he would feel that way.

Instead, during scenes where Will and El talk about bullying making them feel worthless, the director and cinematographer will simply just make sure he's in the background and out of focus, much like he his to his parents. Much like he is to the GA. Much like how it feels to suffer from depression.

[crusty-chronicles]

is there any chance you could add killua for the airheaded but strong s/o headcanons? If not, then no worries, I just love how you write them!

Yeah, I don't mind but it's gonna be platonic because I'm a little iffy about writing for him romantically. He's just a boy 🥺🥺🥺 This is mostly a crack fic.

BONUS AIRHEADED S/O HEADCANNONS: Killua (HxH)

Honestly tried to kill you at one point

Oh you're strong huh?

Then proceeds to hit you with everything he's got, only to see that it hardly affected you. (Kinda like the way he first treated Zushi)

After that he's petty, but impressed.

Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉 You've earned his respect 🥳🥳🥳

You're basically Gon 2.0

And he hates it

Cannot take you two anywhere

"We should break the lock to get in." Gon suggested.

"Are you stupid?" You scoffed.

"What's the point of having a door if you're just gonna break it?"

And Killua is momentarily at peace that at least one of you has some sense. Until you open your mouth again.

"Obviously we should smash open a window."

And Gon is nodding along enthusiastically

"You're right! What would we do without you 🤩"

And Killua is just 😮‍💨.

He is the parent of the group and I will die on this hill

If Gon's the sun, you're a nuke

He's constantly dragging you away from Hisoka

Nope. Not today

Why do you insist on talking to strangers.

No scratch that.

Why do you insist on talking to creepy strangers????

It gives him a massive headache everytime you almost get abducted.

Honestly thought about putting a tracker on you to avoid this happening.

But then he remembers you're practically indestructible so he drops it.

Is afraid Illumi will come for you and hurt you.

He was never allowed to have friends, and after Illumi threatened you and Gon at the Hunter Exam, he's very protective.

But then he remembers something you said after Greed Island.

"The three of us are all gonna become the best of the best. We're gonna get all wrinkly and old together and still kick butt!!! We're gonna stick together no matter what!"

And it temporarily quells the fear of his brother.

It makes him look forward to that outcome and gives him something to fight a little harder for.

When it comes to fighting, he does get a little envious of how you and Gon just rush in without thinking.

And how you always manage to win despite the circumstance.

But he never feels left behind because of it.

Like with Gon, he won't baby you, just call you an idiot and move on.

You fell?

Get up loser.

You can't read?

Find somebody else to translate. Or he'll make you do it and be laughing nonstop while you struggle to pronounce the word "Apple"

"Gon what color's an orange?"

"An orange is the same color as it's name. Just like a lemon."

Please somebody take you two back to first grade.

Killua is begging.

Even though he won't baby you, he'll rush as fast as he can if you're in actual danger.

You got caught by the phantom troupe?

"Are you completely brain dead!?!!? Where are you!?!?"

Now he regrets not putting a tracker on you.

"This nice clown man gave me candy and told me to follow him." You tell him over CALL.

"HISOOKAAAAA!!!!"

He is screaming and panicking.

You trespassed into the mountains his family lives to see him.

"WHY???? DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT MIKE!?!?"

And when he gets there he sees you rubbing the monstrous canine's tummy. Petting him and calling him a "Good Boy."

Names he has called you out of spite: Idiot, Moron, Dummy, Psycho, Airhead, Ditz, and probably Pea Brain

On the bright side, you are Alluka's favorite person.

"Give me your ribs."

"Oh, are you hungry? Let's see if we can't find you a smokehouse for those ribs."

And it baffles both souls so much that Nanika accepts that as fulfilling her command.

Plus you have endless amounts of energy that works to drain both girls out. Even when they've both already swapped twice.

Killua designates you her official babysitter when he's busy.

You are a complete lunatic and moron, but you're one of the people he trusts the most.

Even if he does complain about you a lot.

MASTERLIST

[lucystark12]

milevens are insane

warning now - i get extremely heated in this so if you're going to tell me to calm down leave. before any of you weird bitches tell me to go do something more productive or to touch grass- no. i'm fifteen, it's summer, and i'm a highly involved high school student. i'm not here because i have nothing better to do, i'm here because i understand good writing and am able to have hobbies ❤️

anyways

was on the mileven endgame hashtag just now and because i don't choose violence i wont be addressing any of them directly, but i will be addressing some of the ridiculous bullshit on there. term bullshit used intentionally

the love confession came as a result of mike "gaining the confidence" to tell el how much he loves her because he was afraid that he loved her more than she loved him.

are you listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth right now? i want to sit down and get a coffee with you and dissect what the fuck you meant by that. sure, right, yeah, he gained so much PRODUCTIVE confidence from his conversation he had with will where will was using eleven to mask his own feelings for mike. it makes so much sense narratively that this end all be all mileven event is sparked from will's feelings and not mikes! sure! right! this is such an idiotic piece of reasoning. you are literally saying that you are okay with your endgame ship only being endgame based on faulty communication and lies. are you joking? "you just gotta improve your motivation" ass piece of evidence

also, mike being insecure about loving her more than she loves him is complete, total, utter bullshit. el frequently expresses her love to mike via letters and youre here to say that mike would have any problem with doing the same thing if he were insecure about her love for him? that literally makes no sense. i wouldn't be afraid of loving somebody more than they love me if they are actively putting more effort into insuring me that they love me than i am to them. like, what does that even mean?

“Will Byers is a pathetic loser annoying character and contributed little to the plot of ST. "

yes that is a direct quote. no i'm not kidding.

what kind of fucking neanderthal watches stranger fucking things- a show about a kid who disappears- and thinks the kid who disappears isn't a central part of the narrative? the first episode of the goddamn show is called "the vanishing of will byers"! maybe this is hard for you and your confused brain to get your head around, but el and mike met when mike was out looking FOR WILL. mike and el are still together because mike gained courage from WILL'S LOVE FOR HIM. what a fucking idiot you must be. i would try to explain to you the myriad of other reasons why will is absolutely central to the plot of the show, but since the show itself has clearly gone in one ear and out the other, i probably wont be able to get through to you either.

“what if we learned to cope with world that doesn’t accept us as individuals by embracing each other completely?” said about mileven

um.. what. that's literally byler. closeted gay guys in the 80s. but sure, the ones that aren't being accepted are the two white and allegedly heterosexual individuals. the "world that doesn't accept us" in question is a few high school bullies in comparison with the stigmatization, violence, and ostracization that has longstanding been a part of what it means to be queer. be so serious right now. mileven is not important for being non conformist, the GAY SHIP IN THE 80S IS!!

“The only people who queerbaited, was byler fans themselves lmao.”

even if we're ignoring the horrible grammar there are still SO many things wrong with everything that was just said. what they're saying above for anybody who can't decipher the weird medieval english code this person is using is that bylers actively queerbaited themselves which inherently makes no sense at all.

below i have included the oxford dictionary definition of queerbaiting: "the incorporation of apparently gay characters or same-sex relationships into a film, television show, etc. as a means of appealing to gay and bisexual audiences while maintaining ambiguity about the characters' sexuality."

how is it possible that byler shippers themselves are the ones doing the queerbaiting? are we running the show? nope! before you come on and post something as offensive as this- which i will get into- at least make sure you know what you're saying. xoxo

to insinuate for even a second that mike wheeler not being gay would be anything other than deliberate queerbaiting is insane. there is something wrong with you. aside from the parts of the show where his queerness is deliberately alluded to like music, costuming, analogies, allegories, and set design, netflix has been, weather you like it or not, actively marketing in favor of byler and mike not being straight. all below come from official netflix accounts-

how is this not queerbaiting? genuinely what are you on about. this is literally textbook.

“will is fruity but mike didn't like the fruit on his pizza”

you seriously are basing your argument about mike not being gay on him not liking fruit on pizza? you seriously think that some of the most commended and celebrated writers of the last decade would use symbolism involving a word that can literally be interpreted as a slur when their show has two characters who are canonically a part of the group affected said slur? are you fucking stupid? that was harmless banter used to communicate the differences in habitual action across the country. it wasn't the duffers trying to do for you what they do for us in deliberate, straightforward NON-OFFENSIVE symbolism.

i saw somebody claim that mike's character arc in season four was inherently about not believing in his self worth nor in his competency to be in a relationship with el

while i do for the most part agree with you, i'm going to ask you a question- mike was never anxious about his identity and self worth involving el before season four. why do you think that just came up now if not for the fact that he's been having insecurities involving his sexuality and romantic attraction to women as a whole? in my opinion, mike realized that he might not like girls in that way circa the end of season three- a realization that only festered and grew through the absence of not only the boy he loves that is causing this insecurity but the girl whom he is using as a way to say hey, i can't be gay, i have a girlfriend! mike was clearly going through some serious emotional struggles as we can immediately see in this scene with how suddenly awkward he is with will and the immediate emphasis that's put on the "from mike" on the flowers.

i agree that his season four and part of his season five arc are about his feelings of insecurity about being in a relationship with el, however, i don't think he's insecure because he thinks she's better than him in the sense that she's some superhero, i think he thinks she's better than him because he knows that he'll never be able to love her the way she deserves to be loved. he's not going to outright come and say to will that he doesn't think that he can love her in the way she deserves to be loved. he's closeted. what he says in the van scene is the only way he knows to express his feelings. it's very similar to what will does in the same scene. it makes no sense for this insecurity to randomly manifest in him if it wasn't for an external factor that doesn't involve el, because nothing has really changed with the dynamic of their relationship other than the move. one could argue that mike is feeling insecure over el's supposed popularity she claims to have in her letters, but mike's arc has never been about caring about popularity in school. that's not something on his mind so much as the grand scheme of the world is. lets not forget that he joins hellfire in season four.

“When Mike didn’t say “I love you”, By*ers twisted it to their narrative. When Mike did say “I love you”, By*ers twisted it to their narrative.”

you literally sound like trump going on about the democrats. listen to what your saying right now. also, it's a ship name. there's no need to censor it you fucking weirdo.

wasted time building up mileven

i'm sorry, what build up? i'm confused. there's no "build up". THIS is build up:

above is will, possessed by a monster who feeds off of those lacking love in their lives, only being able to be broken out of possession by a heartfelt monologue by the PERSON HE LOVES detailing how the best decision he ever made was to befriend him.

above is will claiming he will never fall in love, then his love for one of the other main characters becomes a central plot point of the two seasons to come. joyce and i see through will and all of you weird milevens

mike telling will how it's not his fault will doesn't like girls only after he loses the person he's been using to cover up his own insecurity about the same thing- not liking girls. suspicious.

will's LOVE FOR MIKE being the thing to give him the confidence to help el SAVE THE WORLD, only episodes after we establish that mike is bound to be pissed that he was lied to. and theres no buildup? THERE'S REALLY NO BUILDUP?

if you don't see buildup i fear you are literally just a lost cause because it is so painfully obvious to anybody who made it past seventh grade english class that there is something deeper and more intimate than friendship going on between will byers and mike wheeler.

“Women can be independent while being in a relationship guys😭!!”

OBVIOUSLY! i am literally the biggest feminist on the entire western seaboard. i couldn't agree more with this, which is why we have arcs like nancy's where she actively becomes more independent while still maintaining a relationship with jonathan. the difference is that mike and el have been together since they were like thirteen. when el was immersed into the real world for the first time in season two she immediately leaned on mike for support in that. it's not that she can only be independent on her own, it's that mike is directly symbolic to her of a time when she was stumbling around the world with naivete and not quite knowing how to navigate that. by spreading her wings away from that relationship, it will not only give her independence, but also a way to see beyond the barriers of hawkins and a life where she was valued mostly for the qualities she brings to the supernatural equation. el's arc is one of my favorites. i would never claim such a thing and discredit the essence of what makes the emotions behind her character so interesting. she's somebody who was literally raised in a lab. she shouldn't be held back by somebody she is quite literally dependent on.

last but not least, i saw a post that said milevens always win.

"are you sure about that?" i ask, noah schnapp's most recent instagram post open on my phone, finn wolfhard's spotify playlist in my headphones, my mike holding will's painting funko on the desk in front of me, wearing a yellow shirt with a blue sweater over it.

thank u for listening to my ted talk 💙💛

[love-byers]

something i love about stranger things is how it never gives up on its "losers are cool" theme. it's so big on being who you are no matter what, loving what you love even if its nerdy and people make fun of you. and i love how that applies to the couples.

and that's another reason why i just can't like mlvn. mike saying "you're the most incredible person in the world, you're a superhero" sounds good on the surface, but it just came off meh to me because of what the show conditions you to think. and the fact that el didn't have her powers at that time adds to it.

and i will never understand why milevens like the idea of mike giving up the things he loves, dnd and nerdy things for el. you really think the duffer brothers will encourage changing yourself for someone so they'll like you?? that's not the message of stranger things. couples who do that just don't work.

mikes idolization of el just doesn't translate to true love.

to me, "you don't have to be the most incredible person in the world, i will love you anyway." is way more compelling. i prefer a duo who are losers together, who love their nerdy things together, who lift each other up. who fell in love because they feel safe, heard, and understood with each other.

"I love you for exactly who you are, you're my superhero!" does NOT read well. like if you saw that for the first time and didn't feel the cringe in your soul idk what to say

what about when they finally defeat vecna and there's no more problems to fix and el cant save him anymore? then what does he love about her? is it because she saved the world in the past? that's giving carly and freddie from icarly and we all know sam and freddie were FAR superior

this post was a mess idk how i went from writing motifs to icarly but oh well

[evilbookworm]

Mileven and Billverly parallels

Ok I’ve been wanting to do this post for a while, (if you’ve seen my blog recently it’s dropped a few hints over how Mike and Bill are compared) so I am gifting you it with the best of my knowledge on cinematography (Watching lesbianmindflayer videos)

My number one priority is mentioning that yes, I do think the Duffers are purposely paralleling them. I mean, they have mentioned loving Stephen King’s work have they not? There’s also the reference to Mr. Baldo the clown in season 2 when Bob is talking to Will about getting over his fears. Of course, this might seem like a coincidence, but then Bob brought up Maine, which is where Derry, and most of Stephen King’s works are set, so I think it’s safe to say that there are some parallels to IT.

                               

First, I’d like to point out that Mike is the Party’s leader, just as BIll is for the Losers Club. It’s never been made official or anything, but it’s there. 

You may be wondering why them being leaders has to do with anything, but I assure you It’s an important parallel. Now, we can also see some parallels between how both Mike’s friends and Bill’s friends encourage them to pursue a relationship with El and Bev.

Now I want to bring up the way Bill and Bev bonded, and how after the Neibolt house, she’s the only one that stayed with him. We can also directly compare the fight between Mike and Lucas to the one between Bill and Richie. Lucas and Richie were both jealous and concerned about safety. Richie for Eddie and Lucas for all of them.

Now a small comparison between Bev and El. Bev sees the deadlights, which grants her visions of the losers in the future.  Then we have El, who can’t see into the future but can see where people are. Here are some images:

 Not very direct, but something they have in common.                       

We also have multiple times where Bill encourages his friends to help him find Georgie, as Mike does with Will.

Now let’s talk about the kiss. The first kisses are both quite similar. Both of them are done in a heat of the moment type way. In both scenes, the girls are taken aback.  

  They are incredibly similar and one of them isn’t an endgame ship.

Mike and Bev Comparisons + Benverly and Byler

Now, let’s talk about the Ben, Beverly, and Bill love triangle being paralleled to the Mike, El, and Will love triangle. More direct comparisons with Bev and Mike here. First, and most importantly, we have the poem and the painting. Bev receives this from Ben, and Mike receives this from Will.

The poem Ben sends to Bev is anonymous, and Bev doesn’t remember it’s from Ben until the second reunion they have. While not exactly paralleled to the painting Will gives Mike, it is similar. Will makes it look like the painting is from El, and Bev thinks the poem is from Bill.  

 Now, Bev realizes the poem is from Ben twice, the first is when he kisses her to save her from the deadlights, the second 27 years later in Pennywise’s layer when Ben recites it to her while they’re trapped in their visions, though Bev previously thought it was from Bill. This could be a direct comparison to the van scene, where it’s possible that Mike knows the truth about Will’s feelings. Mike may forget about this later, unless it is confessed to him while he’s being Vecna'd.

                                               

I also think Mike will be the one to be Vecna’d, so that’s another possible parallel to Bev. Bev is the one who isn’t very expected to be taken, but she is. Just like Mike. It isn’t expected to happen to him, but it will.                 

Mike + vecna imagery

And like with Ben and Bev, Will will break Mike out of Vecna’s trance. I can’t say it’ll be with a kiss, because Mike will most likely be hovering several feet in the air, but it’ll definitely be done by Will somehow.

So, in conclusion, Ben and Bev end up being endgame, and so will Mike and Will.

Not a very in depth analysis, really, but these are some good parallels I found and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone delve into the comparisons between them. 

Anyways, BYLER ENDGAME!!!        

(P.S. I spent like 3 hours looking for the right images so please don’t let this flop 🙏) 

[chaeonlyknows]

Casual - Jasper Hale

A/N: i know that jasper would NEVER, this is just for the sake of my angsty imaginations okay? he’s a gentleman and so so inlove. how could he? just bare with me in this alternate universe okay? anyways, please tell me if you hate it lol this is my first time publishing so forgive me if its shit. i tried my best, if this doesnt work out, maybe writing isnt for me… enjoy! and thank you for reading!

also, this is inspired by chappell roan’s casual, i just love her!!

edit: just fixing my grammatical errors.

Warnings: a little angst and mentions of sex, i think there were curse words? 18+!

my friends call me a loser cause im still hanging around

“y/n? what’s wrong with you?” angela asks you, jessica has been talking on and on about her and mike, so much that you unexpectedly drown in your own thoughts about you and jasper. “she’s thinking about jasper again.” jessica says, rolling her eyes. you turn your head around to sneak a peak at the cullens. “ugh, what are you guys anyway? what? edward got bella now his brother wants to mingle with you as well? like, come on people, im losing my friends to the cullens!” jessica keeps on rambling but your mind seems to be elsewhere. bella gives you that look that says “are you okay?” and you nod, ignoring jessica’s comments, once again, getting drowned in your thoughts. “—plus i heard that he had some type of thing going on with another girl. didnt emmett and rosalie talk about that?” and suddenly, upon hearing this, you turn to jessica with the look of confusion. angela and bella noticed this and angela spoke up. much to your dismay, you were so stupid. stupid enough to actually think that jasper hale would ever like you for you.

i’ve heard so many rumours that im just a girl that you bang on your couch.

“im really sorry to be the one to tell you this, y/n..” alice says, confirming what angela has told you. “i heard that jasper brushed off the rumours of you and him by saying you were only fucking, not so much as a relationship or bond. you guys were only casual.” angela’s words never left your mind.. you try to hold back your tears and nodded at alice, you thanked her for her honesty and left immediately.

i thought you thought of me better someone you couldnt lose.

how stupid are you y/n? why? why did you let yourself fall for such an arrogant boy?? you thought to yourself whilst walking on the way home. he didnt even feel the same way, he didnt feel what i felt whenever he calls me by those weirdly lovey nicknames, he didnt feel what i felt when he kissed me on my cheek. he never did. and you were just stupid to think that he’d actually reciprocate your feelings. you kept beating yourself up for falling in love with a cullen. unfortunately, you weren’t as lucky as bella. she fell inlove with a cullen that loves her back and you fell inlove with… well… a boy.

you said “we’re not together” so now when we kiss i have anger issues.

“hi darlin’, i missed you.” jasper greets you with a kiss as he sits beside you during your shared class. you pull away quickly and he could feel the irritable emotion that you’re feeling and immediately catches this. “what’s wrong baby?” he asks you searching your eyes for clues. you dont look at him and hum in response. “nothing, jas… im fine.” you respond without looking at him. it hurts, it just hurts. but i cant let him go.

you said “baby no attachment.”

“what’s happenin’ to you y/n? i thought we were on the same page? no attachment, remember? honey?” he asks. you feel rage creeping in you, how dare he? no attachment? and then he calls you honey? “i know, jas.. sorry” you apologise, finally looking up at him “no attachment… right, i forgot.” you said bitterly. you two had argued when he picked you up for a “date”, because he tried to kiss you as if nothing happened, you brought up the fact that he was seen with another girl and he got defensive which lead to this. he kisses your cheek and promises to make it up to you.

but we’re knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out, is it casual now?

“i’ll make it up to you sweetheart” he says as he adjusts himself on his knees whilst you’re in the passenger seat. he fiddles with your skirt and underwear as his lips start tracing the inside of your thighs. his grip on your thighs are tight and you feel your climax coming down. he continues, inserting his tongue in and out of you while his other hand losens it’s grip on your thigh and rubs on your clit.

two weeks and your mom invites me to her house in long beach, is it casual now?

“hello y/n!” rosalie greets you on your way to history class which startled you and made you jump a little. “uhm… hi rosalie.” you greet her awkwardly, taken aback by her sudden kindness to you. maybe she felt pity. “i just wanted to let you know that we’re having a quick trip next week, esme wanted to let you know that she wants you to go with us.” she says as emmett walks towards you both. “yeah, esme really misses you both, jasper will be there” emmett gives you a wink which you try hard not to roll your eyes at. “i’ll think about it, i might be busy though. thanks rosalie, emett” glancing at the both of them and walking away. you definitely dont want to get caught up with jasper on a trip, with his family. remember, it’s casual.

i know what you tell your friends, it’s casual.

“jasper!” emmett calls him, “esme wanted to invite y/n over next week at the beach house, we already invited her… so… just wanted to let you know.” emmett says as he and edward smirks at this. “you invited y/n?” he asked, very much clueless. “yeah, carlisle wanted her there too, he said she was a nice girl.” edward adds. “i might not come with you guys then.” jasper states, clearly annoyed. “what’s wrong with her coming with us, jas?” emmett asks sarcastically. “oh right! you two are just casual.” edward answers the question for jasper and the two snicker at this. jasper shakes his head and walks away before they could taunt him further.

if it’s casual now, baby, get me off again.

jasper kisses you, hard. he loves doing this to you. overstimulating you. making you come, again and again, and again… he loves how you feel, clenching around him when you’re about to come. his grip gets tighter and he fucks you harder. kissing your neck, chest, everything. and after you guys are done? every praise, assurance, word that he said vanishes. discarded. once he gets his pants on again, he leaves, giving you a peck on the cheek. and that’s all.

if its casual now, if its casual now then.

it’s saturday and the girls wanted to hang out, and you decided you wanted to go with them. you guys planned a sleep over for next week and you talked about boys, movies, and prom. which you didnt know whether or not you’d be going to attend. “y/n?? y/n!” jessica basically shouts your name to get your attention. “yeah, huh?” you say cluelessly. “didnt you hear what angela said?” jessica asked, you shake your head no and angela repeats herself. “as i was saying, this boy… andrew.. what’s his last name again?” she asked the girls, “andrew jones?” bella answers. “oh right! andrew jones! anyway, he was asking me for your phone number. he wanted to ask you out!” angela tells you and her and jessica squeal in excitement. you felt weird though, going on a date while you’re with jasper? “oh come on, y/nnnnn! dont tell me that you’re thinking about that jasper again?” jessica rolls her eyes. “i am, dont you think it’ll be weird? going out with someone else while you have a —thing— with another person?” you state.

dumb love i love being stupid, dream of us in a year, maybe we’d have an apartment and you’d show me off to your friends at the pier.

“so? jasper did the same to you, with multiple girls. plus i thought you guys were clear on no attachment? remember? it’s just casual.” jessica argues. “she’s right y/n, you shouldnt settle for a casual fling.” angela agrees with her. you look at bella and she says “im with them on this one, y/n. im sorry but you have to be honest with yourself.” feeling bad for you. you nod your head and gave andrew a chance the next week.

i know “baby no attachment.” but we’re…knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out is it casual now?

jasper told you to meet him by his car because he “missed” you, and you reluctantly agreed. you couldnt stay away from him. he then opened the car door for you and same old story, he kisses you, you fight, he “makes it up to you” and you let it go, not wanting to argue any further.

two weeks and your mom invites me to her house in long beach, is it casual now?

declining the cullen’s offer, you didn’t say why or explain your reason. you just told rosalie that you couldn’t come and she understood. but, bella accidentally mentioned it to edward and alice because alice told her that you were supposed to be there with them and bella mentioned you and your date. “what?! y/n’s going on a date???” alice squealed in excitement which grabbed everyone’s attention. “who’s going on a date?” emmett asks, which made rosalie and jasper look at the three of them. as alice was about to speak, bella cuts her off by saying “no one! alice just got excited, you know..” widening her eyes at alice to contain herself. “y/n is.. you know? the y/n that jasper has a fling with?” he sneers and bella nudges him rather aggressively and he groans. “i told you not to tell them, it was supposed to be a secret!” bella whispered-semi yelled. “oh.” was all edward said and smirked at jasper who seemed a bit mad but oh well, it’s just a casual fling.

i know what you tell your friends, it’s casual..

andrew gets out of his car and knocks on your front door with flowers in hand, your dad opens the door and he gulps. “hi sir, i’m here to take your daughter, y/n, out on a date. i promise that i’ll take good care of her and bring her home before 8pm. we will just be going out, to the theatre, nothing else. we will be watching (your favourite movie) and after that, i’ll bring her straight home.” he offers your dad a smile and your dad is taken aback by this and hesitantly lets you go with him. before you leave he gives andrew a strict look and tells him “before 8.” and closes the door.

you and andrew had so much fun, he asked if he could kiss you on your cheek and you agreed. you asked him questions about himself and he answered them quite nicely and he let you speak about your interests. before escorting you to your doorstep at 7:48… he opens your car door for you. “let’s do this again sometime? i’ll see you on monday y/n.” he smiles at you and kisses your hand. he walks to his car but doesnt leave until you got inside safely. you were daydreaming about him a lot now, he was so dreamy. you thought. he was a gentleman and from what it looks like, he’s the perfect match for you. he treats you the way you want to be treated… but..

if its casual now then baby get me off again, if it’s casual…

andrew picks you up more frequently after your first date, he became your ride to school the past few days and you guys had talked back to back, jamming to your favorite songs… you never experienced this with jasper. when you both arrive, he opens the car door for you and almost everyone at school stops to look at you both. even the cullens.

“oh my god.” angela says in shock. she’s happy for you and andrew. she’s proud of herself because this was her doing.

“no way!!” jessica exclaimed. “bella are you seeing this?” she calls, the three girls smiled at you as you and andrew walk up to them.

what you didn’t notice was, jasper looking at you both. more like glaring into your souls. if he was alive, his blood would be boiling right now.

FLASHBACKS:

its hard being casual when my favourite bra lives in your dresser.

he unclips your bra while making out with you, both of you shirtless and his lips start tracing your neck and chest, he throws your favourite bra on the floor, discarding every piece of clothing you two had on. he couldnt wait to feel you again.

it’s hard being casual when im on the phone talking down your sister.

alice wanted your help on throwing a party, she called you because she was in distress about it. “i cant think properly y/n! it just seems like something is missing!” alice exaggerates as she rambles about what theme or what color she was going to use for the party.

definitely casual. you think to yourself.

i try to be the chill girl that holds her tongue and gives you space.

“it’s not fair jasper! you’ve been going out with girls, you were seen last night by MY friends! do you not know how embarrassing that is for me?” you yell at him not being able to take it anymore. “baby… baby… calm down. they were nothing. look, i dont know why you’re acting up again, i thought you agreed? casual? honey?” he reminds you.

i try to be the chill girl but honestly im not.

“what the fuck? that’s all you have to say?” you couldnt hold off your anger anymore and opened the car door and you left. jasper chased after you, “baby… come on… i’ll make it up to you, i promise.” he tries to convince you, being the pathetically inlove girl you were, you agreed.

knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out.

same old, same old. his fingers play with your skirt and adjusting your underwear so he could insert his two fingers inside you. you moan at this and he begins to fasten his fingers’ pace, making you cry out his name. he kisses your thighs and removes his hands, replacing them with his mouth.

END OF FLASHBACK!

two weeks and your mom invites me to her long beach house.

“oh hi, y/n! we weren’t expecting guests…” esme trails off, looking at you and jasper. “hi mrs. cullen, no worries, i was just passing by.” you greet her with a smile and she smiles back. “well, do you wanna maybe stay for dinner? we’re having italian..” she offers you and you look at jasper who nods at you, well.. how could you refuse? you smile at esme.

i know what you tell your friends.

“wow jasper, that was unexpected.” rosalie jokes, “what is?” jasper asks. “the way you let her stay for dinner!” emmett adds snickering at jasper. they all know that he’s falling for her. jasper ignores their comments and went up to his room, where you were sitting on a chair, with a box full of your stuff that you’ve left behind. jasper had a plan, he wanted to talk to you and make it official before andrew beats him to it. he wanted to let you know how much he cherished and needed you.. he agreed to give back your stuff, but he wasn’t giving up without a fight.

baby get me off again.

“baby, what’re you doin’ there?” he notices you checking your stuff, polaroids and letters you’ve sent to him that he never bothered to open. “nothing, jasper. just checking.” slightly cringing at the nickname. he reaches for your hand and pulls you closer to him, making you stand up. he leans closer to you and you pull away, “what are you playing at, jasper?” you ask him and you laugh at his attempt. realizing that he isnt joking, you feel annoyed. “stop. dont even start.” you spoke. “start what baby?” he asks innocently. “dont.” you said sternly. he pulls you closer and kisses you, you melt in his touch. you know that it isnt right, you know that this is not what you should want… but you cant stop.

i fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner..

(you guys didnt fuck okay, just kissed)

you got the strength to pull away and push him off. “whats wrong, darlin’?” he asks. “stop it jasper. im with andrew, i cant do this. i came here to get my stuff back and end things. i cant do this anymore.” you told him. “baby, we can talk about this.. please. i need you.” he responded. before he could do anything else, you walk away.

your parents at the table..

esme and carlisle hear you and jasper walking down and as esme was about to update you on the cooking, you bid your goodbye. “im sorry mrs. cullen, i have to take a raincheck… thankyou though.it was nice of you to think about me.” you say in a rush. carlisle and esme found this unusual. “well.. atleast bella and edward are on their way.. no food went to waste.” carlisle spoke.

you wonder why im bitter,

jasper runs after you and he pleads for you to talk to him. “baby please. i was dumb to ever think that this was only casual. i dont want this to end, please. dont go with him. i’ll treat you right, i’ll treat you better.” he says while holding onto you.

bragging to your friends i get off when you hit it,

shaking your head, you dont say anything, it seems like you’re lost for words at the moment and you break his hold on you, running to your car as fast as you can and starting it. jasper stands still, if he had a heart, it would be breaking right now. he feels regret, and heartbroken.

i hate to tell the truth but im sorry dude you didnt.

driving off, you finally felt free.

jasper on the other hand, he felt frozen in time. wondering why he took you for granted. wondering why time is such a pain.

i hate that i let this drag on so long, now i hate myself. i hate that i let this drag on so long, you can go to hell.

part two?

[void-wolfie]

Memorial Day

summary: You spend Memorial Day with your family and Jenna. However, the mention of your father brings back some unwanted feelings. [request]

pairing: Jenna Ortega x fem!Reader

words: 2.4k

tw: loss of a parent, brief mentions of drinking

a/n: hope this is okay anon, once I started writing it kind of just took a life of its own. I'm not super satisfied with it, but this is as good as it's gonna get right now, maybe I'll revisit the prompt one day if inspiration strikes.

You slammed the can down on the table, wiping your mouth and chin with the back of your sleeve, "Beat that, losers! Woo!" You spun around, arms up in the air in victory. You noticed Jenna smiling at you from across the yard, watching you and the boys as she chatted with your mom and aunts.

Your older brothers bet that you couldn't beat them at shotgunning beer. Not only did you prove them wrong, but you were twenty bucks richer for it.

Memorial Day weekend. One of the few weekends of the year when your whole family would gather for a barbecue. The dads would grill out while the moms sat by the pool and chit-chatted, which gave the kids time to get into trouble goofing off. Uncle Mike would even go out and buy a bunch of fireworks to let off at the end of the day. All in all, your relationship with the holiday was very much love-hate.

The force of someone jumping on your back pulled you from your thoughts. Despite the lack of warning, you managed to hook your arms under a slender pair of legs as a set of pale, freckled arms wrapped around your neck.

"Ducky!" You shouted excitedly, greeting your younger cousin who was hanging off your back, "What're you doing back there, troublemaker?"

"I missed ya!" Your cousin, Devon was his actual name, hugged you a little tighter as you carried him.

"I missed you too, buddy,"

"Airplane?"

"Of course, hold on tight," you made sure to hold his legs tight before zooming around the backyard. You ran around the yard, making loops and different zigzags as he made little airplane noises behind you.

You didn't have to look behind you to know he was having the time of his life; his little giggles and shouts were confirmation enough.

You were twelve when Devon was born. He wasn't the biggest kid, always a little smaller than the other kids his age. But something about his scrappy attitude wormed its way into your guarded heart. He was by far one of your favorite cousins.

You slowed to a stop, breathing heavily after so many laps with Devon on your back. "I'm getting tired, Ducky. How about we rest for a little?"

"Okay," he chirped, hugging your back a little tighter, refusing to get off just yet.

You trotted back over to Jenna. She'd long ditched the conversation between your mom and aunts, instead choosing to watch you give Devon his piggyback ride, which he clearly adored.

You didn't miss the way Jenna's eyes followed you the whole time, watching as you carried Devon around, laughing and making airplane noises. You found it adorable how she couldn't take her eyes off you.

"Dev, you remember Jenna," You watched the way Jenna smiled at Devon. You noticed over the years she was always great with little kids, always knowing just what to say or how to act.

"Hi," Devon gave a shy wave, hiding behind your back as you still carried him.

"Hi, Devon," Jenna waved back to him. You could feel him smile as he buried his face into the crook of your neck.

"Hey, Ducky, why don't you see if Trevor wants to go swimming with you, yeah?"

"Ok!" Devon hopped off your back and raced inside to find Trevor, another one of your cousins just a few years older than Devon.

You wrapped your girlfriend in your arms, kissing her before burying your face in the crook of her neck.

"I love you," You whispered, your lips lightly brushing against her skin.

"I love you too," she placed a chaste kiss on your temple, letting you relax in her arms.

"Get a room, you two!" One of your older brothers shouted, ruining your little moment of peace. Instantly all eyes were on you and Jenna; you couldn't help but shoot your brother a deadly look.

"Sure," you smirked, untangling yourself from Jenna, "just as soon as you get a girlfriend."

There were snickers and laughs from the adults. Everyone loved to pester your bother about when he was going to get a girlfriend of his own. He was, as you liked to word it, chronically bitch-less. You were ahead of him in the girlfriend department, and he was five years older than you. The glare he sent was enough to put you six feet under, but you'd gotten your retribution and that's all that mattered.

"Dinner!" Uncle Josh shouted from the patio, disappearing back inside to help dole out the food. In an instant, everyone headed inside, racing to get food while it was still hot and fresh.

"Alrighty, go dry off," You watched as your cousins made a dash for the pool steps, climbing out to go grab their towels.

They were the youngest of the family, Hailee and Kate, twins just a few years younger than Devon. "And don't run!" You yelled after them, making sure they made it inside without slipping on the wet concrete.

With the twins inside, that left everyone inside but you and Jenna in the pool and your mom by the patio table.

You didn't have any warning as a pair of arms wrapped around your waist. Even if you weren't the only ones outside, you wouldn't have to look to know who it was.

"Hey, baby," You interlaced your fingers with hers as she rested her chin on your shoulder.

"You're so good with your cousins, you know that?" She mused, watching the door where the twins had run off.

"Really?" She hummed, nodding the slightest, "Maybe, one day, we could have a little family of our own?"

You were nervous. You'd never really talked about the future before. The two of you were so caught up in the now, you hadn't stopped to think about it. But you knew more than anything you wanted to spend it with her... if she'd let you, of course.

"I'd really like that," You could feel her lips pressed against your shoulder blade, a smile a mile wide as she nestled against you.

"y/n," You looked up to see your mom by the edge of the pool, calling you over.

"Give me one second, love," You made sure to place a kiss on her hand before wading over to your mom, curious as to what she wanted to talk about.

"She's a good one." Your mom nodded to Jenna, who was watching the two of you with curiosity. "Be good to her."

"Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way."

She nodded, smiling at you. You both knew you had meant what you'd said. You loved Jenna. You were utterly and completely enamored by the girl; you'd walk through hell and fight the devil himself for her.

"There's something your dad wanted you to have. I left it on your bed for you."

That confused you. What could he possibly want you to have? And why now? Why today of all days?

"I'm proud of you," She paused as if debating whether to say what she was thinking, "He would be so proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom," you tried not to choke on your words, unsuccessfully so.

You tried to ignore the lump forming at the back of your throat. Your chest tightened at the mention of your father, at the mention of how proud he'd be.

She smiled at you, placing a light kiss on your forehead before heading inside.

You took a deep breath, trying your best to quell that feeling in your chest. You could tell from the rock in your throat and the ache in your heart that you had maybe a minute at most before you would completely break down.

Jenna could sense the shift in your mood. Whatever your mom said upset you. Your head bowed as you stared at the ground, and your shoulders sagged.

Jenna made her way over to you slowly, not sure what to do. "y/n?"

You took another deep breath, rubbing your eyes in hopes she wouldn't notice the tears beginning to form.

"You, ok?" She reached out tentatively, placing her hand on top of yours.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." An obvious lie, but one she decided not to call you out on. "Um, there's something I need to go check, it should only take me a minute or two. Do you mind?"

"Of course not," she could tell you were upset, even though you were doing your best to downplay it.

You weren't one for vulnerability, often hiding your feelings behind a joke or a smile. Despite all the times she reminded you that it was ok not to be ok. If you were this upset, it must be important. "Do you want me to go with you?"

"Uh, I'd rather do it alone if that's okay with you. I can wait if you don't-"

"No, you should go. I'll be fine. I can hang out with Devon and the twins."

"You are the best, you know that,"

"I've been told a time or two," she joked, wrapping her arms around your neck and pulling you in for a kiss.

"Ewwwww!" The two of you pulled away from each other, turning around to find Devon, Trevor, and the twins spying on you two with grossed-out looks.

Jenna was worried about you. After clambering out of the pool, you went into your room, and you hadn't come out since. You promised only a few minutes, but that was nearly half an hour ago.

"You should go check on her," The sentence pulled Jenna from her thoughts. She hadn't even noticed she'd been staring at the hallway leading to your bedroom door.

She was supposed to be helping your mom with putting away leftovers and cleaning dishes, even though your mom had insisted she'd be fine. She wasn't sure when that had turned into zoning out to think about you.

"I don't know," Jenna wrung her hands nervously, "She asked to be alone..."

Your mom stopped what she was doing, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"She didn't have it easy… growing up. We moved around a lot, and it's hard being the only girl out of four kids."

Jenna nodded, soaking up all the information. You'd talked about your childhood here and there, but not like this. You never really mentioned the nitty gritty details like moving around or how it was to have three brothers.

"What'd she tell you about her father?" Your mom asked. She wasn’t trying to poke or prod at your love life, but that didn't mean she didn't hold a genuine interest.

"Not much," Jenna spun one of the rings on her finger around, a nervous habit she'd picked up over the years, "Just that he was in the military, he'd passed away a few years before we met."

Your mom nodded. She didn't want to tell Jenna everything, that was for you to do in your own time. But that didn't mean she had to leave the poor girl in the dark.

"She's a lot like her father, those two were like two peas in a pod. She might seem tough and strong, but she's just a big teddy bear at heart."

Jenna didn’t know you were more like your father; she’d always just assumed you were more like your mom since you never really brought up your dad. The strong and tough part, though, Jenna had known for a while. You could definitely hold your own if it ever came down to it, but you really were one of the softest, most gentle people she knew. It was one of the many reasons she adored you.

"Just because she asks to be alone, doesn't mean she wants to be alone."

You were sitting crisscross on your bed, tear stains running down your cheeks as you looked at the items spread across your bed.

Your mom had left a letter and a box, no bigger than a shoebox, on your bed. The letter was a note from your dad, one he'd written before being deployed. It was one of those, "if you’re reading this, that means I'm gone" type letters. It was painful to read, bringing a new wave of tears each time you scanned the slanted cursive.

The box was a different story. It had some of his things from before he'd died. His dog tags, the army knife he always kept on him, a bunch of pictures of you and your brothers that he'd taken with him, and a few other things.

You stared at it all, everything splayed across the comforter of your bed. You wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and fall asleep at this point. All the crying had tired you out and your thoughts seemed to run in circles, coming back to the same thing again and again.

You didn't hear Jenna knock on the door. It wasn't till you felt the soft dip in the bed and her hand on your knee that you finally noticed her presence.

"What're you thinking about?" Jenna's words pulled you from your thoughts.

"My dad." You whispered, your voice a bit hoarse from all the crying, "It's not fair... It's not fair that he's gone, and I'm stuck here without him."

"I know, love," she gently pulled you into her lap, letting you bury yourself in her arms as the tears resurfaced.

The two of you stayed like that for a while. She rubbed small circles into your back with her thumb while you cried your heart out.

She hated that you had to go through this. She couldn't even imagine what it was like to lose a parent, one you were so close to at that.

She didn’t know much about your dad, but she could tell he was a good man. She wished she could've met him while he was still around.

It took a while, but eventually, you were out of tears to shed. But you didn't want to move, you just wanted to be with Jenna.

"You wanna lay down?"

You nodded, too exhausted for anything else. Jenna put the stuff back in the box gently, setting it off to the side, on your nightstand. You let her get comfortable on the bed before burying yourself back into her arms. It didn't take long for you to fall asleep, your head nestled under her chin as she held you close.

Your mom would peek her head into the room a little while later only to find the two of you fast asleep, curled up in each other's arms. She tossed a blanket over the two of you before leaving, making sure to shut the door on the way out so you wouldn't be bothered.

a/n: this is my longest post yet, and there were so many details I cut out simply because they just felt out of place or weren't necessary. I mean, I could write a whole post on all the behind the scenes details I didn't include. anyways, I absolutely loved writing this family dynamic. Devon is adorable and I love his tiny ass.

[glisten-inthedark]

The way Mike says “I say it,” during his argument with El about how he doesn’t say ily is very intriguing to me. He says it with so much….gravity? Solemness? Almost….somberness?? It’s so hard to pinpoint but there’s no warmth in his eyes and it almost feels like a mantra, and he does this little nod at the end of it like he’s telling himself, “Yep, that’s right, I do say it.” He says it like saying it will end the conversation. But it doesn’t.

I agree with other analyses that say he’s trying to gaslight himself in this scene too because what an odd delivery.

Also, have we ever really broken down why this entire scene proves that him not saying I love you isn’t born out of insecurity or, like he later claims, saying it would make El realize he’s just a loser soon? Because for one thing, it’s not like this is something that is disappointing El but she’s keeping it to herself and only confiding it in others. She makes it so damn clear that she wants Mike to say it, that it’s reached the point where she doesn’t think he loves her romantically anymore—if he loves her romantically but is insecure, then El confronting him on not saying it to her should actually make him feel more secure because it’s confirmation that she wants me to love her romantically. And it’s also showing him that he’d actually lose her faster by not saying it than by saying it so what the hell does he have to lose?

But more importantly, Mike insists that he does tell her he loves her.

So how the fuck would that work, Wheeler?? You’re afraid of saying the words I love you to her because you think you’ll lose her faster if you do but also you insist that you do say it?? So if you want El to believe that you do tell her you love her even though apparently her being told by you that you love her would facilitate you losing her??????

Bullshit, Michael Wheeler!

And I think you were the one who pointed out that Mike doesn’t say, “You know how I feel about you,” but rather, “You know what I think of you.” which is like, such a huge Freudian slip imo, especially because he then goes on to say only 2 things about her: she’s the most incredible person in the world, and she’s a superhero.

Nothing about how he feels about her. Just what he thinks of her as. And guess who also calls El a superhero? Her other friends. Mike says two things about El in this scene that literally anyone else in their party would. Compared to Will’s van confession where he talks about how Mike makes him feel—like he’s better for being different, like he’s not a mistake, and gives him the courage to keep going. That’s fucking romantic love right there.

Lastly I want to praise Finn Wolfhard for his microexpressions during that entire argument because I rewatched it over and over for this comment to try and find words to describe how he delivers that one line, but damn after El says, “You can’t even write it,” he has the most fleeting microexpression of panic that is honestly so impressive—it’s this eye twitch/muscle flex by his right eye and this tiny little flinch forward, it almost looks like the right side of his face minutely trembles, A+ acting right there👏👏👏

Hello!

First of all I'm hella sick and I just took some medicine so if I don't make any sense you can blame it on that lmao.

First of all, I just rewatched the scene to see if I could pick it up and my diseased riddled brain did notice what you're talking about. Firstly, he says with such certainty that you'd almost believe it if it weren't for the fact we saw how he signed his letters to El.

And secondly, is almost as if he's trying to convince himself and her that he does say it, probably because as you said, he expected this to end the conversation.

And see, it bothers me so much that people (the GA) don't notice the inconsistency in Mike's behavior because had not one, but two moments that should tell him exactly what he claims he needs to hear. The first is when El tells him point blank that she loves him too, and the second is this one.

Like, what sense does it make that he says he doesn't say the one thing he knows she wants him to say because he's afraid that it'll hurt if he loses her, but him not saying is clearly what's hurting her therefore might be the thing that can make him lose her, so WHY DON'T YOU SAY IT, MICHAEL?

And it's like you said, he says be does say it like he believes it, like he thinks he does which opens another Pandora box, because is like you said, he's telling El he says he loved and then turns around and says he didn't say it because he's afraid to lose her so WHICH IS IT? Can't be fucking both.

And yup, I'm the one who said that about him saying what he thinks of her and not what he feels.

He never says he likes her or anything remotely singular to her personality, is just about the things he thinks she can do which I still insist connects to her he associates El with physical and emotional security that he lacks.

But yes, he never said what she really needed to her, he said the opposite as a matter of fact.

I hope this made sense lmao

[starbylers]

Mike’s lack of personal journey in a Mlvn reading of the show: why so many people complain about Mike’s character

Something just occurred to me…I actually would challenge any Mlvn to tell me about a character motivation/internal conflict of Mike’s that does not revolve around El. What struggles does Mike as a person deal with throughout the series? When trying to build an effective, realistic, well-rounded character you can’t have their biggest fear be ‘loosing this particular person’ as Mlvns love to claim is Mike’s. As a writer you have to understand your character’s deepest desires and what drives them at their core, they cannot be purely motivated by an external force. A character such as that will feel hollow, boring and difficult to connect with. This is basic character development stuff.

Examples (simplified to get the point across):

For the whole show, El struggles with finding her place in a world where she feels fundamentally different

For most of the show, Will struggles with his sexuality and feeling like a ‘mistake’

Dustin in s2 deals with his self-esteem and understanding that he is good enough even if he doesn’t have a girl’s approval

Lucas in s4 wrestles with a desire to be popular and to ‘fit in’ which we see him overcome

Max in s4 deals with depression and the process of wishing to no longer be here to realising she actually wants to live

But…what about Mike? A brief Mlvn interpretation of everything he does through the show and why he does it:

S1: he saves and looks after El because he fell in love with her. He also looks for his friend Will.

S2: he is heartbroken because El is not with him anymore, and then madly in love again once she’s back.

S3: he has ups and downs with El because teen relationships are just like that, and then they get back together because they’re truly in love. He’s also too in love with his girlfriend to care about his old interests.

S4: he fights with El because all couples fight, and then rescues her from Nina while taking friendly advice from Will. Finally he confesses his love, which he didn’t do before because he’s terrified to lose her oh and he’s not good at feelings (but they won’t digger any deeper into that last one 🤐).

Like…yeah they acknowledge Mike also helps with the supernatural stuff, he’s smart and observant. He generally takes charge of the group and looks out for his friends, and (at least in earlier seasons) he’s the leader. But those are character traits. Everyone has them. (Max is sarcastic and kinda scary when she needs to be, Dustin can be cocky but is highly intelligent, Lucas is very headstrong and follows his own judgement, Will is sensitive and empathetic). I’m talking about character conflicts/journeys. Can they tell us what journey Mike has gone on as his own person???

And this, this is why lots and lots of people complain that Mike’s character revolves around El (especially since they started dating). This is why people say Mike is the Duffer’s self-insert and is just meant to be a blank slate relatable character. This is why Mlvns characterise him as El’s obsessed loser boyfriend. Because if you view the show through a Mlvn lens then yeah, Mike looks utterly two-dimensional with no drive other than screeching El El El when she’s in danger (sorry it had to be said).

The problem is when you try to dig into what Mike’s deeper motivations could possibly be, it gets very bad for Mlvn very fast:

‘Mike is scared to lose El because he’s worried she won’t need him’

Let’s detach El from that and figure out the root of this problem, what is really going on with Mike here (we already know but just for the sake of my point), because he is a character in his own right and this was a large focus of his story last season.

What do we know? Mike expressed feelings of worthlessness (‘I’m just some random nerd...’) and feelings of inferiority (…‘who got lucky superman landed on his doorstep’) in his relationship. He acknowledges that his and El’s relationship was fundamentally built on her just needing someone. Also, throughout the series we see Mike has a strong desire to help and serve and save those close to him, it’s who he is.

Mike is so clearly driven by a need to feel needed and fears being an unimportant nobody. He doesn’t think he’s special or useful next to El and it hurts him, his self-esteem is very, very low. But Mlvns never acknowledge that, because that would require admitting that a) Will’s words in the van showed he recognises & loves the Mike as the brave and inspiring leader he wants to be, and in doing so soothed Mike’s personal insecurities (because those do exist, and the talk wasn’t just ‘relationship advice’) and b) Mlvn’s relationship makes Mike feel shitty.

Another example:

Common Mlvn interpretation: ‘Mike was spending all his time with El in s3 because he’s in love with her and he is growing out of childish games’

What do we know? (1) Mike didn’t truly loose interest in DnD, he just neglected his interests when he got into a relationship, super healthy (2) He tries to act cool around El (‘Sorry that made me sound like a 7 year old’ / feigning disinterest in Dustin’s inventions) (3) When arguing with Will, Mike frames him getting a girlfriend as being the inevitable progression of life, the opposing choice from ‘sitting in his basement playing games’…but then he joins Hellfire in s4…as soon as El leaves. He didn’t truly believe anything he was saying to Will, he just can’t juggle being himself and having a gf simultaneously 😬.

Mike’s internal conflict here is clearly feeling like he has to grow up, and has to suppress his true identity in the name of achieving that. (And this continues somewhat into s4 with the fake, not-at-all-his-style Cali outfit in El’s fav colours). But again, understanding that requires understanding that Mlvn as a couple is not a safe space for Mike to be himself, and what Mlvns characterise as a normal teenage ups and downs is actually indicative of an unhealthy relationship.

Basically what I’m saying is it makes so, so much sense why Mike is one of the most disliked characters among the GA (aside from like the actual villains) and why he always ends up on those stupid lists. People are sick of him existing just to be El’s love interest. And that is not true in the slightest, but when you aren’t looking deeper than Mlvn…yeah it does look pretty bad, and I understand where they’re coming from. And as much as we say El is the one who Mlvns are obsessed with making everything about her boyfriend, the real victim of this treatment from them is Mike. Even his heart-to-hearts with Will are actually Mike thinking about El, apparently.

This is another reason why I’m so sure about Byler because Mike is essentially the original main character (aside from El I guess). I’m sorry but there’s no way he is the only one the writers managed to mess up this badly when they are capable of adding deeper personal development to characters who are much less central to the story. Even Finn himself said we’ve not been as personal with Mike recently but s5 will remedy that and people will be happy with his journey. The day Mlvns and GA are forced to look deeper at Mike’s personal internal conflict outside of how it relates to El is the day I will know peace 🙏🏽

[twoelectrichearts]

The way that Mike talks about El screams idolization to me. Do I think he loves her? Yes. I do think he cares about her. Do I think he’s IN love with her. No. If he actually was in love with her, I feel like he’d talk about traits and qualities of hers that he loves that are beyond just her powers. Like how Jonathan and Nancy explained why they love each other. They were actual meaningful traits and qualities. I don’t know what Mike loves about El beyond her powers.

This is literally the first thing that comes out of his mouth regarding El last season. Like, yes, that’s an amazing thing that she did, Mike. Can you also mention something else, though? What else do you like about her? What else do you admire about her?

It’s clear that Mike struggles with low self esteem and doesn’t view himself in a positive light. He doesn’t see his own self worth. To Mike, he’s unimportant. He’s a nobody. He’s nothing except a nerd, a loser, a freak who’s been bullied his entire life. He has El on this extremely high pedestal and feels like he can’t measure up to how incredible and amazing she is, because she’s a superhero. That’s what he continues to focus on. It’s not El’s fault that he feels this way either. She’s never talked about how amazing she is because she has powers. She’s never made it seem like she’s above anyone or better than anyone due to her powers. If anything, she’s talked about how she feels like a monster because she’s different. She feels like she doesn’t belong anywhere. She even voices that to Mike.

El cries to Mike, doubting that he loves her anymore because he never says it. He can’t even write it. And what does Mike tell her in response to that? Does he tell her that he loves her? It’d be the perfect time to say it if he does. She’s crying and could use some clarity and reassurance. But no, he doesn’t tell her that he loves her. Instead he tells her this. And of course brings up how she’s a superhero…

Even when he finally voices that he loves her, it falls flat to me and feels off. As the audience, we know that Mike’s initial reaction to finding El in the woods was not love at first sight. He wanted to get her back to wherever she came from and continue to search for Will. So yeah, that’s not true. Maybe he forgot what he was genuinely feeling in that moment? It’s either that or he’s knowingly lying to her. And then when he explains why he loves her… when we finally get to hear the reasons why…

BAM! Again… it all circles back to her being a superhero. He loves her for exactly who she is… a superhero who can fly and move mountains and… yeah… the momentum died when Mike brought up that. El’s reaction to that didn’t look positive either. I just felt so awkward and uncomfortable and confused watching this monologue. Seeing Will’s reaction and having him in frame didn’t help at all. Let’s not forget he basically had to push Mike to not stop and continue talking to El by reminding him that he was the heart. Why’d they choose to do that? All it did was make my heart break even more for Will. Especially after watching him give Mike the meaningful painting he made for him and the beautiful monologue where he disguised his feelings as El’s.

If they wanted me to root for M*leven, they could’ve easily had El say this to Mike. El loves Mike, right? She says that she loves him. I don’t exactly know why though. She’s never voiced why to Mike or to anyone else. I can’t solely blame Mike as the reason why I don’t ship M*leven when I don’t know why El is in love with Mike either. This could’ve been why, but no, the writers chose to not only make Will in love with Mike, but that he feels better for being different and loving him. All his life he was made to believe that he was a mistake for being different, but Mike makes him feel the complete opposite. He also mentions how El (he) is always going to need him. He says this to Mike, someone who wants and needs to be needed. You know what Will said meant the absolute world to Mike. It was exactly the kind of thing he needed to hear. How the hell do you top this?? Why would they choose to do this? Why make Will in love with Mike? Why make him have this type of love for Mike? The type of love Mike needs and wants? Why not have El feel this way about Mike and say this to him instead of Will? Throughout season 4 Mike and El just seemed to make each other feel bad and insecure pretty much the entire time. Not on purpose or knowingly, though. I don’t believe that they want or mean to make each other feel that way. They’re just not good for each other relationship wise. At least not from what I’ve seen so far. I have no idea how they’re gonna turn it around in the final season. Also, they’re just gonna throw away Will’s love for Mike? They used Will’s love for Mike to fix M*leven’s relationship then? And Will gets what? Nothing? No love for the gay character who’s unconditionally in love with his best friend? He should just be happy that his friends and family accept him for who he is? Because we know they will. That’s not going to be shocking. What would be shocking is if they didn’t. I don’t think that’s the type of twist the writers would want to do. That’d be beyond horrible. So yes, Will should just be happy and thankful that his family and friends don’t hate him for being gay. He doesn’t need love like everyone else. We don’t need to see the only gay character experience love and a relationship. Or maybe we will with some random, last second, half assed love interest. Oooo yay! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[beatificallytrash]

HC: how the losers are there for each other

Mike:

• The one they go to for comfort. When they need peace or just need a long warm hug.

• Doesn’t force them to tell him anything, will see they need comfort and just give it.

• Will create a comfort zone for them and not let anyone disturb it. Keeps the losers favorite snacks and movies stocked for this reason.

• A remedy for their overthinking.

• Knows how to read their body language extremely well.

• When they’ve had a bad day or need an escape they’ll go to Mike where he always welcomes them with open arms and a soft smile. 

Stan:

• The one they go to to talk and be listened to.

• Helps work through their issues. Therapist friend.

• Calm in the midst of their chaos.

•Has the ability read and understand their emotions and thought processes to best help them.

• Best to calm down panic attacks or mental breakdowns.

• Helps them cope with life.

• Not the most comforting but most understanding. 

• Passes reality checks out like candy while also gentle parenting (“Okay, let’s break down why that is the absolute dumbest decision you could make.”)

• Will barge in his room and flop onto his bed with a sigh ("Stan, I feel like I want to jump off a cliff rn." "Same, but let's dissect that.")

Bill:

•The one they go to feel safe.

• When they are scared and lost they trust Bill will guide them out of danger and darkness.

• VERY protective over them. Has and will resort to violence for them if necessary.

• But still has a very gentle and calming presence.

• Will either stop them from being reckless or go do it with them.

• “Who did this to you?” energy mixed with golden retriever.

• Keeps window cracked open and phone on full volume when he sleeps in case one of them need a safe place to stay or has a late night emergency. 

• Says "Everything will be alright, I got you" and they will believe him because they trust him completely.

Richie:

• The one they go to when they want to forget something or be cheered up.

• Type of friend that will do anything to make them laugh even at his own expense. 

• Will embarrass himself to save the others from embarrassment or to just get a smile.

• Feeds into their delusions and embraces their weirdness.

• Down for basically anything.

• TMI doesn't exist for him.

• Indulges their most dramatic and first-world problems.

• Can yap with him for hours about the most niche and absurd topics.

• Shows them how to not take life so serious because he is the definition of unserious.

Ben:

• The one they go to for help and fix problems (practical, personal, literally anything).

• Will drop everything to help his friends.

• Very knowledgeable and gives gentle wise advice.

• Helps first asks questions later.

• NEVER judges or embarrasses them. Just unconditional acceptance and love.

• Can truly come to him with ANYTHING. They need help with a resume? Need a study partner/tutor? Taxes? Flat tire ? Having an existential crisis? Hiding a dead body? Ben is there and ready to help with the same earnest no matter how big or small the issue is.

• They’re personal google (He rarely doesn’t know an answer).

Bev:

• The one they go to have fun/distract themselves.

• When they need a partner in crime. Will help them with vengeance.

• Helps them release built up emotions. (“You’re angry? Okay let’s go smash some shit.”“Overwhelmed? Let’s go on a drive to clear your head.”)

• Big sister/cool aunt vibes.

• One they go to when they don’t know what to wear.

• Gives great advice because she's probably made the same mistake before as they have.

• VERY affectionate. Hugs and forehead/cheek kisses are always expected from her.

• Makes them feel brave.

Eddie:

• The one they go to to vent and get out intense feelings.

• Will go through the emotions with them. Cry when they cry. Get mad and rant with them. Get excited when they are.

• Doesn’t try to problem solve just will be there with them through it when they’re most hurt or anxious.

• First to cuss a bitch out for them. 

• Knows how to hype them up and boost their confidence.

• Honest and will tell them harsh truths.

• They’re personal WebMD (“Eddie my heads been hurting all day help me.” “Well, you’re either dehydrated or you have a brain tumor. So, I hope you’ve had plenty water today.”)

• Aggressive mom friend (“I brought you a coat cause you always fucking forget!” “Why tf aren’t you wearing sunscreen!?” “Your stomach hurts? Okay I have tums, ib profen, pemto bismal…”)

• The movie making him a risk analyst makes sense because that’s what he is for them (“Yeah I’m like 95% certain that will definitely kill you.” *To Richie mostly*)

[thefirstlioveyou]

isn’t it interesting that for a good majority of audience, all a straight relationship has to do to be considered peak fiction or writing is to make out and have an unhealthy dynamic that loser cishet men can self insert themselves in? for general audiences, these ships don’t need to prove themselves why they’re good - they just have to be a boy and a girl.

but then you got a fully fleshed out dynamic between two characters of the same sex, where their endgame fulfills their personal arcs and are meant to be; they just work, all while still reaching their full potential as characters. but instead of support and, y’know, basic media literacy, it’s always, “why is everything gay now? why can’t they just be friends?” well, because they only ever are! that’s why!

maybe it’s because i’m queer and will naturally be drawn to media i can resonate with, but it’s incredibly rare for me to believe there’s romance in a fictional het ship. it’s almost always souless, always the same formula. there’s no effort to make the audience fall in love along with them. don’t get me wrong, there are queer relationships that also feel poorly written and i cannot seem to be drawn to, but i’ve never experienced this the same amount of times i have with a het ship; not even close.

however, i never felt this way watching stranger things. lumax, jopper, jancy - they are absolutely believable romances. there’s conflict, there’s reason why they love each other. but most of all, the relationship takes its time to grow. the writers understand pacing is an important factor for writing romance.

this is why mileven always seemed so different from the rest, and why it was always destined to fail because of it. it was forced. literally in the narrative, it is pushed upon mike by his friends. el is kissed and because she sees mike in this pedastal from her trauma regarding male caregivers, she follows through and grows an unhealthy dynamic from the understanding of love she’s only ever been familar with. i genuinely believe she never would have seen him in a romantic light if he hadn’t kissed her. and finally, their character arcs just cannot be fulfilled if they continue to stay together - they just can’t. they just go back to square one with zero growth.

there is no actual appeal to the ship. it was cute the first season! but… that’s it? they kept getting pulled away from each other by the story itself, so they get like no time together. and the time they do, they’re busy breaking up. they have no common interests, they can’t give each other what they want/need, they unintentionally trigger each other’s traumas, still have yet to connect on a personal level.

but, i guess that’s what you call beautifully written television romance.. i guess that’s where we are.

[justeeeen]

Challengers: A Good Time to be Bisexual

Just watched Challengers. It's 3 am and I'm still thinking about it.

For starters: I LIKED MIKE FAIST FIRST I LIKE HIM FIRST I LIKED HIM IN DEAR EVAN HANSEN OK I LIKED HIM FIRST.

Secondly, I'm realizing that I'm not into tennis enough to have realized just how erotic the sounds people make when they hit the ball are? Like I could handle the make out scenes, the nudity, the almost sex, but the sounds?? Especially for Art, like why did they have this man to make the most erotic whimpery moaning noise I've ever heard EVERY SINGLE TIME he hits the ball (I know why)? Like I felt like I was intruding and I shouldn't have been there. Convinced they locked Mike Faist in a recording studio, blocked out the windows, and had him do what he had to do in there cause that was OBSCENE.

Thirdly, I cannot begin to express my excitement at the resurgence of loser pathetic men in movies. I think Patrick is a loser, but Art is PATHETIC. Like peak simp behavior. He literally turned on his best friend for Tashi, a woman he had like 2 interactions with. To be fair, he was young and dumb and this was by far the worse thing anyone did in the movie, but it's pathetic man behavior. He literally equates her to Jesus. I'm going crazy.

Fourthly, this movie is so fucking sexy. Honestly it doesn't show any physical sex happening on screen, but just, the vibes? The music?? The noises?? Did I mention the noises?? Zendaya is absolutely stunning, and I appreciated their refusal to let her wear a bra in this. Josh O'Connor, I never found attractive before, but there were some shots in this movie where I was like "Ok, yeah ok, I get it." And Mike Faist, the man that you are (between the two of us I originally only wanted to see this movie to see Mike Faist be pathetic).

Finally, this movie is actually pretty straight forward. Tashi says multiple times that all she cares about is "watching some good fucking tennis" and that she doesn't want anyone to be in love with her. As for Art and Patrick, I feel like the only reason they really love tennis is for the relationships they get out of it. Art played tennis when he was younger because he liked being with Patrick and he even mentions that his Grandma is really proud of him, so that's another person he's playing for. And later, he's playing tennis for Tashi. Patrick plays when he's younger for Art, but I think when he's older he might be playing for fame? He just seems like that kind of person. And in the beginning of the movie he seems a little upset that no one knows who he is. Tashi played tennis because she loves tennis, and when she can't play tennis anymore, she's in love with two people who can. And she knows that what they have is the potential to play a good game of tennis. Which is all she cares about. I mean, I don't think that's true. I think she loves Art, but I don't think she respects him (it's giving TomShiv). I think she has more chemistry with Patrick, and potentially loves him more, but thinks she could never be with him because he challenges her too much, and she's too egotistical to be with someone like Patrick who's also egotistical.

I think Art loves Tashi the most, Patrick loves Art the most, and Tashi loves Patrick, but loves tennis above all.

To be fair, I don't support Tashi erasure, like this is one hundred percent a polycule and not like, a gay romance with a woman getting in the way of it. I just think that above all, Tashi loves tennis. That doesn't mean that she's not deserving of love, and that doesn't mean she doesn't love Art and Patrick, she just loves something else more. Tennis will always be the 4th person in their relationship.

At the end they all get what they want. Art wins the game, and wins Tashi by proxy. Patrick wins Art back by physically catching him in his arms and reigniting their friendship. And Tashi gets to watch some good fucking tennis.

[antisociallilbrat]

This is Stan's list of ratings on who's the best Loser to go birdwatching with

Ben: 8/10 a safe bet. Pros: Is always quiet and tries to be attentive when Stan points birds out Cons: He honestly gets bored quickly out there and is too nice to say anything about it. Stan knows this and usually doesn't bring him bc he knows Ben wouldn't say no if he offered

Bill: 6/10 it's a mix bag Pros: Bill will always doodle the birds Stan points out and it's just sweet- Stan has a whole collection of them Cons: while Bill can be quite once they get there but Bill is an absolute clutz and makes a complete racket as they walk so when they finally find a spot, most of the birds are scared off. Also he whisper yells.

Richie: 3/10 but ironically still not the worst Pros: He can sometimes make funny puns with the bird names Stan tells him...that's about it Cons: Silence makes Richie nervous so he feels the need to fill it and sitting still for too long makes him jittery. Overall it's just bad for his adhd and for Stan's patience

Mike: 9/10 but still not the best Pros: He's quiet and always brings a homemade picnic! He listens nicely to Stan and asks questions about the birds, make Stan's interest in them feel validated. Mike is also just an animal lover so he's genuinely interested in what Stan has to say about them Cons: There's not much except for the fact he can sometimes get too excited and ask too many questions, and talking too much can scare the birds away

Eddie: 0/10 never again Pros: HA yeah right Cons: Eddie hates birds, he thinks they're germ filled things and he has no problem telling Stan this. He brought Eddie once with him and that was enough to never do it again. He loves Eddie, he does, but he'd rather not hear about how many diseases the birds are carrying half yelled into his ear in that frenzy way Eddie can only talk in

Bev: 10/10 she is an absolute angel Pros: She likes to curl around Stan and honestly just takes a nap as once they get settled somewhere most of the time, her head laying in his lap or on his shoulder. It's such a quiet and tender time in the early mornings that Bev doesn't often get but she feels at peace when she does with Stan. And Stan? He just honestly enjoys having a thing that's just his and Bev's, it brings them closer together Cons: Not really a con but she isn't a morning person so that's why she sleeps a lot, especially if they're under a sunny spot

Fun Fact, Bev and Stan's rating is based on a scene from this fanfic by the @the-angry-pixie