#this has been on my mind a lot lately bc ive been seeing. Too many mlvns opinions. and literally none of them even think about how el feels

[muppetbyers]

i just think its incredible how the audience watched el go on a huge character journey about finding out her past and self discovery, heard "you talk of monsters and superheroes but people are not so easily defined", listened to basically everything mike said in s4 and then his monologue, and half of the audience walked away thinking that was an adequate resolution to mlvns arc because of course el's feelings about everything were exactly the same as they were before she went on this journey. of course 'im going to become a superhero again (-from el)' and then her going back to mike as “a superhero” and him only being able to talk about her like that all series was meant to be a good thing. of course this is how good relationships are written

[simplydnp]

I just want you to know. That I smile each time I see you posts/Reblogs! Also, thoughts on the new AmazingPhil video? And the "Hard Launch v.s Soft Launch" discourse? but regardless they're defiantly edging. lol

thank you! it's a lot of fun to be able to just speak my mind about things here.

it's a great video! really good succesor to dilm (one of my favourite dnp videos ever). it was nothing too serious, and any of the actually decent outfits, phil stood up for which was sweet. dan's really good at playing off jokes, but it's nice to see him be defended a little. i will never forgive twitter for suggesting catboy dan was a bad look. have you seen him??? literally i couldn't look directly at the pictures for so long bc my face would get so red. perfection 🤌

i know i say it every video but i just like seeing them laugh together. be happy together. they made me a sentimental bitch so i'm always thinking about how grateful i am to have this. to get this. regularly! it's so special. i am absolutely losing it over the clothes sharing and insanity of a choker exchange. so many walls down lately. it makes me feel some type of way 🥺

i'm not a discourse girlie but my two cents is theres soft launch, hard launch, and a secret third thing just called launching. cause whatevers been happening lately has not been soft, but it aint hard either. soft-launching was mostly showing their cards while still in the closet, and a bit afterwards of lampshading their relationship. lately, they've just been launching. nothing Too definitive for those media outlets to grab onto, but there if you're paying attention. the hard launch... we'll know it when we see it.

by the magic of sharing too much of himself we know that dans not a fan of edging 💀 (don't ask me for a source, i know he said something somewhat recently and that's all ive got) but he does love to conclude. so. i'm certain we'll get there eventually.

[p0th]

ik im probably rlly late to the party but what is objectum, like is it a role play thing, is it a coping thing? I need someone to explain it to me like im 5 bc i genuinely just don't understand what it is lol

So the literal definition of being objectum is someone who's attracted to inanimate objects, whether that be platonic, romantic, sexual, or somethin else. However, looking at it with only its literal definition doesn't really account for the intricacies that such a label brings.

I just want to point out that while some people see objects as alive (the label for that being POSIC), others dont. Animism is also a similar term for where people percieve inanimate things as having souls. Personally, I dont see my object as alive, but do sometimes use gendered terms to describe them and feel comforted by their presence. People can also be objectum and be attracted to actual people too.

Being objectum is also more common in autistic people. Object personafication is a common trait seen in autism and other disorders and i can see how that can lead people to being objectum. Though I have never been formally diagnosed with anything, i am probably neurodivergent & maybe that has a part in me identifying as objectum idk!! Theres a study on autism in objectum ppl here if u want to glance over it: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-56449-0

For me, I started using the objectum label coincidentally around the time I started finally figuring out that i was aroace and not attracted to real people. I realized that the love I feel for my friends is equivalent to the love I feel for my hobbies and interests which was also the same love i felt towards certain objects. I drew this out cuz i think its a lil confusing how im saying it LOL. Theres also a thing called "conceptum" which is the attraction to concepts which I think i actually fall more into, but I just go by objectum because it is more general.

You know how people will swear they have this great relationship with nature? How they feel so so connected to plants and how they love watching the ocean and how they wish they could live outside forever because the forest is a part of their flesh and blood? How they feel more alive feeling the earths fresh air and how nature teaches them things they never even knew about themselves? okay, so, why is this normal to say but once u turn it around into something that’s an object it is insane talk!! I feel like there's this interesting dynamic where its okay to be super attached to nature but kinda weird to be super attached to inanimate things but i think i am rambling & getting off topic!!!

Personally, I dont really have objects that im attracted to in the same way I would be attracted to a human. It is very broad for me. Others though, have certain objects that they really like and thats fine. For me, going by that label just makes me comfortable even if i dont fit into the literal definition. I like computers in general, not just my own personal computer. Objectum for me is just another way to say that my love for inanimate things can be just as great as my love for animate things. Theres just so much complexity and nuance in it that it is hard to describe unless you've experienced it yourself.

As for it being a coping thing, I've heard some people say its a result of not being able to trust people due to past trauma, but i dont believe that's necessarily true for the majority of people and not too good to generalize. Ive grown up surronded by friends and in a loving environment and am able to maintain relationships with living people, but also use the label of objectum because it makes me comfortable.

I can very much see how someone can look at someone saying theyre attracted to objects and just cringe a little bit and thats okay LOL. At this point, I have been exposed to so many concepts -being online so much and surrounded by so many diverse people- that i just dont even pay it mind. But, I know a lot of people have literally never heard of this label before and are just weirded out by it. I think honestly people need to think about the limitless potential a relationship can be when in the hands of such a complex being as a human. At the end of the day though, it doesn't hurt anyone but its also okay to be a lil unsure of it as an outsider. Just be kind to others!!

Im sorry if this is a bit of word vomit, if u cant tell i got a lil too into it & my thoughts tend to be rlly scattered LOL. thank u 4 the ask & plz let me know if u need any clarity on anythin cuz i know i am very hard to follow at times !!!

[deareststars]

General relationship hcs for Morty, Steven, Wallace, and Volkner with gn s/o?

similar to the last one, i'll be splitting this into 2 parts. first will be morty & volkner bc i wanna keep our fave gen iii boys together :,)

characters: morty (gen ii/iv), volkner (gen iv).

content: gn reader, established relationship, feel-good stuff all the way through. reader is a pokemon trainer, but their full occupation is unspecified in both morty & volkner's hcs.

tw: none.

MORTY

the two of you meet in ecruteak city at the bell tower. morty sees how stunning you are, and immediately uses his world-famous pickup line: "i'm able to see the future, and what i see is the two of us together."

he's absolutely a cheerful, flirty partner who never relents on pickup lines no matter how long you've been dating. everyday is a new adventure because this man has so much energy.

"morty, where are we going?" you ask, exasperated as he pulls you along the cobblestone paths in ecruteak. it's autumn, his favorite season, and his partner pokemon, gengar, is running alongside you. he looks over his shoulder and grins. "there's a new place i want to show you! it's almost as stunning as you, my will-o-wisp!" as he watches your lips curl into a bright smile, he laughs and begins running faster, excited to see how you'll react to seeing this new place in person.

even though he's obvious with his feelings (the man thinks he's smooth, but when he's in love, he can never stop nervously laughing at every joke you make and always finds an excuse to touch you), you have to make the first move. i imagine his confidence is a facade; deep down, being groomed to take over the gym after his parents, and many people generally being suspicious of him because of his love for ghost-type pokemon, has left a lot of scars and trust issues.

but when you do start dating, physical touch becomes his go-to love language. draping himself over your shoulders, holding your hand, wrapping an arm around your waist—PDA has become an integral part of your relationship.

of course, tell him if it makes you uncomfortable, and he'll tone it down in public. but when you're in private, cuddling is a must.

gengar becomes an integral part of your relationship, too. the pokemon is actually more mischievous than his trainer, leading to more than a few...incidences.

you stand in the kitchen, humming to yourself as you cut up some vegetables for dinner. morty is directly to your right, boiling water on the stove and dancing to the song you're singing. a chill runs down your back, and you look down. you shriek as you see your shadow begin moving around, jumping back into morty, who catches you. "gengar!" you yell, scowling as the purple ghost-type leaves your shadow and appears in the kitchen, snickering and pretending to act innocent. morty laughs, and despite your annoyance (the surprise made you drop the knife, meaning you'd have to spend extra time cleaning it before you could finish dinner) you couldn't help but laugh, too. "one day, i'll get used to it!" you exclaim. "i mean, i don't mind being your knight in shining armor," morty teases. gengar makes kissy noises behind his stubby little hands.

VOLKNER

you meet volkner in the midst of his burnout. after a lot of prodding and poking, he finally agrees to battle you in a friendly training match—and is electrified by your presence.

he's not the most cuddly person in the world. PDA is incredibly limited, and when you're home, you have to initiate most of what you do. what he does enjoy, though, is taking care of you: cooking you food, giving you massages when you come home stressed, making sure laundry is folded and put away as soon as it finishes.

i imagine you have to pull him away from his work often. having made so many things in sunyshore, volkner is out late at night, making sure everything is still working.

you walk into vista lighthouse, and finally find volkner on the observation deck, overlooking the city. "hey, it's getting late," you say, coming over to him and putting a hand on his back. "i know," he replies. "just...thinking. i'll be back home soon." you shake your head. "no, sir," you tease. "'soon' is going to turn into coming back at sunrise. let's get you some tea and a good book to read, okay?" he stares at the moon, high above the ocean. "but what if something happens?'" he asks. "and what if i'm not here to fix it?" "dear, you've got to stop worrying about things like that. eventually, something will happen, but you can't fix it if you're not in fighting shape, right?" with that logic, he finally relents and lets you guide him back down. he kisses your cheek, apologizing and promising to make you breakfast first thing in the morning.

volkner is someone who appreciates intelligence. even if you're not as well-read as him, he likes talking things out with you: schematics for new projects, battle strategies, new inventions he'd like to make someday. listen to him ramble, ask questions, and give him your input if you feel confident. he'll appreciate it no matter what you do.

when flint comes by and they have their occasional battles, it's like a totally different version of volkner. he's energetic and passionate as he comes up with different ways to catch flint off guard, and every time he does, he immediately looks to you like he's trying his best to impress you.

"luxray, use thunder fang on magmortar's arm!" flint's eyes widen as volkner's partner pokemon grabs magmortar by the arm and crushes it between its electrified fangs. magmortar grunts and tries to throw luxray off. "now, throw him to the ground!" luxray goes back onto his hind legs, managing to pull magmortar with him, and throws him down. the force is enough to crack the floor, and flint chuckles. "you never run out of ideas, do you?" volkner's not paying attention to flint, though. he stares off into the stands, making direct eye contact with you, and grins. you roll your eyes and cup your hands around your mouth. "pay attention to the battle!" "right, right," volkner says, turning back to the field as magmortar gets back up. "don't worry! i'm just getting started!"

[zzencat]

Hello, I hope you’re doing well 💕 I saw you were giving free mini readings and I was hoping that I could get one?

I’ve been feeling very confused on what to do lately since there’s so many things I want to do or achieve but I don’t know where to start. Like I have an idea of how I want my life to be but I don’t know how to get there. I don’t know if I just have bad intuition or whatever.

So I guess my first question is how do I achieve my goals or how do I clear the confusion I have currently regarding how to achieve my goals? (For example some of my goals include learning how to connect with my spirit guides, getting a job/deciding on a career, etc.)

What is my future spouse like?

Does anybody have a crush on me currently?

My initials are E.O.H, I’m a Cancer Sun, and my emojis are 💕😜🕺. Thank you so much!

Boy oh boy EOH, get ready to read your morning newspaper 🤧

(1) Right off the bat, EOH, I should ask you: what do you think intuition is? What does it mean to you? I think a part of your fears your own intuition, maybe you think it’s a weak point of yours, or maybe you just don’t trust it. That’s the hard part and inevitably the one you’ll have to learn to trust: your gut feeling. I think you have a lot of distrust in yourself and there’s a disconnection between you, your body, and your mind. Learn to tap into your intuition slowly, sit by yourself and let your thoughts flow. Let them say whatever they want. Eventually, you’d have to learn how to recalibrate yourself and think about what you really want and need in this lifetime. I think there’s a large disconnection with your inner self that we couldn’t begin to see where to start. If you don’t already journal, I suggest that for ya!! Sometimes journaling is too slow for me so I’ll record voice memos for myself, just whatever I’m thinking or feeling, or if I’m bored. These outlets give you a voice and a chance to hear yourself out. You should recognize your efforts and give credit when and where it’s due!!

I also would recommend that you learn to focus on the good instead of the bad. Pessimism and throwing yourself and your perceptions into a negative loop isn’t healthy for your intuition either, bc it automatically creates a biased view of things and stunts you from strengthening your intuition. And you’re obviously very harsh on yourself, constantly being in a beat-up mentality, but we’re in charge of it, yeah? So recognize it and condition your mind to let go of that negativity, and naturally you will. Your intuition begins with “I” right, so “I” would have responsibility over it, in growing and nurturing it. I suggest you be more gentle with yourself and try to look at things with a more unbiased or optimistic perspective! Even when things aren’t so bright. Don’t trap yourself in the minefield of the self. Acknowledging a bad situation or circumstance doesn’t mean staying in it forever :)

I think you’re smart and you can be a bit rough with your words, so better communication skills are recommended!! Growing up with adhd and broken ass parents who fought every second, I know how it feels to sound like a socially inept rat (not saying you are one btw, ive just been there 😂😂) and because of this, I always watched YouTubers like Ryan higa (who also has adhd) or other YouTubers with their friends to see how to…talk to people, essentially. How to interact properly and not sound like an asshole or a mess or say things that would get my ass knocked down. Observation is great yk? You get to see how people talk to each other amongst their groups and see how their ways of speaking affect each other and ultimately, keep each other together. So I do recommend honing them communication skills, bc what else can humans do if they’d lost everything else but their heads? 😂🤔

I also think you’d be great in some kind of logical or leadership-ish role. Like a secretary, or someone who looks over things and make sure the delivery is executed well- ORRRR someone who mediates and plays a hand in regulating things!! But first, work on that mindset and intuition as I’d mentioned above!

As for connecting with spirit guides, you can look for messages in angel numbers like repeating numbers or specific combinations!! I usually randomly check the time, minutes on Spotify when playing songs, or license plates lmfao 😂 With time, if I randomly check it, and it’s like 4:44, I read that quickly as alignment or “yeah you’re doin something right” from my spirit guides. Now, I relay on tarot cards more than ever to talk to em. In order to establish that communication tho, start slow and something that doesn’t require much thinking. You can even say out loud, “yeah I see you guys hell yeah” when you see repeating or angel numbers somewhere. It helps you take the first step towards communication with your guides because you’re assigning definitions to things, and naturally your guides will catch on, bc they know how your subconsciousness works. Trust bro you’ll get there. At first, I was like “nah it’s all just a coincidence” but I still had a grain of believing, and later on, angel/repeating/combos of numbers became a way to foreshadow events ahead of time, which is…pretty fucking insane if you ask me.

(2) Your future spouse is emotionally mature and nurturing. They’re pretty protective of their family and balance of emotions. I think they’ve been doing a lot of reflection lately, thinking about the past, maybe visiting it physically or mentally. I think they’re someone who is creative by nature but they could be hesitant to push it out there. They’re courageous enough, but still cautious, tryin to be ready for anything. They look for stability in people and money, but sometimes they could play it too safe, be too kind, and bc of that, their own lives are put on hold or they can’t accomplish the things that they want bc they’re too busy prioritizing other people. Pretty nice person, pretty vanilla. I’d say they’re very kind and they’re learning to set up their own boundaries, esp when people try to take advantage of their heart.

I think they’ve recently gone thru something a bit sad, but they’re not letting that get them down. It was a hit and stab, and but they’re getting up and not giving up, even when the wound hasn’t fully healed yet. They’re not letting themselves go down the rabbit hole of stagnancy, and they’re using it as fuel to begin something else 🥹🥹

(3) I’m not to sure about who it is, but if it’s gonna be anyone who might be interested in you romantically, it could be someone who’s more action oriented, has mentor or leader vibes, and probably a fire sign (or has very prominent fire sign placements and a lot of them). Also a piece of advice, don’t just be accepting of anyone who might confess. Keep your standards up and clean 🫡

PHEWWW long read but I hope this gives you some clarity EOH!! Thank you for waiting 😊

[furymint]

2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections:  2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

[icharchivist]

was having banri thoughts lately just bc like. why not right. and then i suddenly remember u mentioning that some ppl... did not like banri at the start? which is wild to me bc in my mind ive always been ride or die for him. like i love juza so much but i feel like. that doesnt rly oppose liking banris character as well? banri is such fun character drama at the beginning of autumn and then his and itarus dynamic is fun from the start... gosh and the acting in the final bits of the autumn troupe between him and juza! suchhh fun tension. like. idk. it just started making me think like wow. digging thru a3 on my own with mostly the influence of like, just you has probably skewed my opinion of what the common perception of a3 is like. for example in my head winter is the most popular troupe which... it maybe isnt? i feel like recently i saw u mention summer might be the most popular(? this couldve been a dream) and i didnt realize itaru was super popular until like. last month. i mean if i had to pick a character i thought was the most popular i'd pick. misumi.

LKFJDLKFJD god what an ask

yeah i doubt i'm exactly the "common a3 experience" but to be perfectly honest i haven’t really kept tabs on the fandom per se since hh mid-2020 when i started to dig into some tags and saw so much negativity i was just :/ and stopped doing so (the curse to liking rascals </3).

Nowadays my knowledge of the a3 fandom is mostly the people interreacting with me, which already generally means that they vibe with what i post, so it gives me a skewed vision of the fandom like, are we all like that? or are the loud voices that made me go avoid the tag still here yaknow?

More stuff under cut

For Banri, i'll admit i wasn't too hot about him when i started the game, which now i regret so bad because he's my precious little meow meow hands down. He has such a good arc!!!! I know in my case i just had a hard time because i cared for Juza right away and i was still so high on Summer's development i kept comparing Banri to Tenma and going "here's why Tenma is amazing and Banri is cringefail". But it lasted me until a bit before Banri sees the portraits, when he starts to be conflicted, after that i was all, oh wait i like that guy. And then the more content i saw of him the more i loved him and he became my fav Autumn Chara. (so if you want to ramble about him more you’re free to do so because i’m team i adore this guy. please do. you’re so right in what you say of him.)

But so i did expect people to have my experience - hard time in the beginning, then mellowing on him before the end of the Autumn Chapter. And it wasn't the case 😭😭😭😭 At least at the time, the Banri's takes were rancid. Like it was genuinely annoying at a point, you couldn't go anywhere without some Banri bashing fuckery, even after his initial arc, people just. really hated him. My most hated takes were that i saw so many people say Banri would bully Yuki or stuff implying they would have an antagonistic relationship and it's probably why i cling to Into the Night so much, like HELL you're going to twist one of my fav crosstroupe dynamic!!! I legit saw so many things reducing Banri to a menace and a bully, and if not that, talking about how much everyone in the dorm hated him, and it was really driving me insane then.

I remember once making a post about how i was so close to blacklist "Banri" because people didn't filter this bashing with tags so i was just ready to just, not see Banri anymore, but it was breaking my heart. But somehow after this post i got a few people coming back at me about how it annoyed them too and i saw some of those people make their own posts in a more. direct way. and after that i never saw Banri bashing again. My power (< absolutely not, coincidence at best i'm sure).

A lot of Banri bashing i saw back then were from "newcomers" in the sense that it was after the anime aired, and a lot of people were just coming in without knowing about the events. imo i think the events do help giving a better feel to Banri in general so the fact people were fresh from the anime might have skewed things. I remember a friend who was in that case, newcomer and all, only read the main story, didn't like Banri after reading the main story. Then, Main story act 2 came out and while they didn't read the events, they read the main story and they started liking Banri there (because he did develop so much since then)

And as a whole i'd say, by act 2 it must have died out a bit.

There's another chara who gets bashed a lot but. Act 2 stuff 😔. Unfortunately a chara i like a lot so this was my breaking point of "i'm not checking the tags anymore none of you know how to behave". I think it mellowed since then? and i know the chara is popular in the JPN fandom meanwhile.

else i've seen like, Tasuku having very little content from fans and a few people being mean to him when they talked about him, but it was a long time ago and i sure hope it died out. I don't think i'd say he's bashed, more that most folks don't have strong feelings about him and stopped just with a bitter taste over his anger toward Tsumugi in the first winter chap.

Now. About popularity, Winter is DEF NOT the most popular troupe. Pretty sure it plays between Autumn and Summer in term of popularity. That said it's not like any of the troupes are unpopular so any ramblings about each Troupe would be meet with pleased reactions from the fandom, so it is harder to gauge that but yeah.

Troupewise something i noticed is that i think Summer is the most popular in term of GROUP, while Autumn is the most popular in term of Individuals. So a lot of people liked Summer specifically for their dynamic and how each of those charas played out each other more than individually liking each of them, while for Autumn it was, they liked all of them strongly! not specifically for their dynamic, though of course it plays a part, but as individuals. I mention it because i think it was the key difference in rank up in why i think Summer plays were okay to rank up to while Autumn were a nightmare. (that said that can also be "blamed" on "fans gravitate around characters that have elements they have as well" or something which means Autumn fans were more likely to be competitive and stubborn in a way Summer were more mellow.)

Itaru is definitely the most popular character of the whole game, period. It's not even a competition at this point it's so funny. when the EN server was live, anytime Itaru had a rank up card was a bloodbath (< survivor of Kniroun ranking up at 0.2%. Didn't sleep normally for the whole duration of the event it was so much.).

By the end of the server things were dying out a bit but still in general you could get a vague idea of popularity by how wild the rankings could be. For instance the fact Tasuku's ranking was a breeze without even trying was indicative of how he's not that popular.

In general i've noticed, at the time at least, that Winter ranks up were rather easy. I've ranked up for a few of Summer and i didn't see much of a problem otherwise*. Spring was really chill unless Itaru was in rank up. Autumn was THE Bloodbath. There were Autumn Stans organziation all over, the appp SYSTEMATICALLY broke EVERYTIME Autumn was around, it was always much more challenging, so yeah man.

Misumi* is probably the one i'd consider the second most popular character of the game, pretty much.

(*The funny thing is that Misumi got his lead play very early in the server's history, and i know i ranked up for him then and i didn't think it was too hard. In retrospect i'm sure it has more to do with the fact the game didn't have as many people playing it, than it had to do with popularity, so my word on Summer not being a problem is based on weird stats)

A while ago, for the Taiwanese server, there was a special set of cards in term of popularity on this server. Itaru got a SSR, Masumi got a SR, and Misumi got a R.

Masumi is in a weird position because i'd say he's fairly unpopular in the EN server, while he's popular in the JPN and Taiwanese server. Honestly i'm assuming he's especially popular with the teen audience.

AND THE MOST TELLING PART:

The first Cross-troupe's play was involving the most popular character of each troupe, by a poll being made by the JPN server. The leads were Itaru and Banri, then Misumi as a secondary character and Tsumugi as a more support character.

Meaning at the time, this was the order of the 4 most popular characters of the game.

When the mixed troupe event came to the English server, i remember a poll circulating on tumblr and likely twitter as well, trying to see if the EN Server had different favorites. Itaru still came on top, Misumi followed closely afterward. For Autumn, it was Juza and Taichi that were on the top of the Autumn poll, not Banri, and for Winter, i think it was still Tsumugi but Homare was very close behind.

So that was the popularity at least back then, god knows opinions now.

I've seen Homare be extremely popular on tumblr for sure. I have no doubt in Juza's popularity as well.

I saw a lot of Taichi fan going "Taichi is underappreciated" but i saw so many of them i was kinda just thinking "bro i'm pretty sure Taichi is in the popular character squad by now" But i'm also on the other hand as i've once seen a post saying Hisoka was popular and it stunned me a moment going ????? because as a huge Hisoka stan i don't see it???? There's a few devoted fans, and he has a better fanbase in JPN server, but in EN server??? (I'm comparing the last rank up for Hisoka VS the last rank up for Taichi in my mind and i genuinely don't see it for instance) so i also think it's likely i have a "fav blindspot" where i just don't think people are vibing with the charas the way i'm vibing, just. exactly like what i'm talking about with the Taichi stans so.... (that said i also once was tagged in a post that was going "i don't think i've ever seen a Hisoka or Tasuku stan" and a friend just went @ icha come here. Schrodinger Hisoka who's both popular and unpopular depending on who you're asking. And Tasuku IS MY UNDERRATED MEOW MEOW)

I think i recall Tenma being popular for a time, and Yuki is well appreciated by everyone around here. Kazunari has a loud fanbase but i'm pretty sure the seiyuu thing was a huge blow to them and a lot of them got more quiet at the time.

And for what it's worth i do think there's a sizeable portion of the fandom that really like Tsuzuru, but i think it's just, something you get to see a lot when a huge part of the fandom is creatives. And to be completely fair, Clockwork Heart is the one event i had a massive burn out at and didn't pay attention to the rankings at all, so i can't tell if people went really wild about it. And the next Tsuzuru rank up event was literally the last event of the EN server and i'm sure it's not indicative of anything since a lot of folks just didn't want to bother. So unlike the others were i'm using rank up as a gauge of popularity i can't tell how Tsuzuru's might influence his.

SO YEAH that's for what i could pick up BACK THEN, as i remind, i didn't really look deeply into the fandom itself. I'm really good in my corner so it might not actually be indicative of the fandom trends and i'm maybe completely off base.

Then about how, i, personally, don't represent the fandom, unless the fandom changed since then: When i first liveblogged a3, it was when the server was new and no one was on tumblr about it, so i was a little unfiltered from people's opinions. when i came back about a year later to comment on act 2, getting all worked up, and running then into the growing fanbase on this website, is when i started to run into fan takes and everything.

And, let's be clear, i came back because i was crying very hard over Hisoka and Azuma and the full Winter Troupe, and Chikage, so i really came here with my Big Winter Boots only talking about Winter and then Spring.

I ended up getting a feel of what people were talking about a lot at that time, and kinda ended up talking more about what i considered my Underrated Gems.

For instance, i absolutely adore Itaru. I ranked up for him, i've bleed for him, i love the dude. But he's so popular i figured i legit had nothing to say about him that a hundred people wouldn't have been able to say before. So i've mostly didn't really talk about him much despite loving him a LOT because i just didn't think i had anything to say. (now in my current reread i'm doing it so disconnected from what i know of the fandom that i indulged in talking more about how much i like him LMAO)

Meanwhile, there's characters i love that i know the fandom don't talk about much so i end up talking about them more, and it's the case of Tasuku. I wouldn't be surprised Tasuku is really low on most people's popular list. I'm just Not Most People and you're going to hear me ramble about that hunk of a man every few days or so.

I've made my niche in the Winter Troupe appreciation gang and i'm pretty sure by now a lot of other Winter people follow me as a result because i couldn't shut the fuck up, so then my perception of the fanbase gets skewed because i just think of Them ahah.

And there is the fact i adore the rookies, mainly Chikage and Guy, but don't talk about them so much mostly because they came out later in the main story and i've been rereading act 1 so many times instead,,, and didn't talk much about act 2 in case some people managed to save themselves from being spoiled (like you!!)

So my personal perception of a3 is probably not reflecting the whole a3 fanbase really much. God the amount of times i talked my friends's ears off about Winter, that they kinda just humored me without thinking much about it, until they found out one of the More Popular Chara (Itaru, Tenma and the whole Autumn Troupe mostly) and suddenly they're like *twirls hair* heeyy Icha tell us more about a3. It's genuinely so funny to me.

and again i don't know perhaps i'm full of shit, and it's not like i've kept tabs on the fandom recently either!

But that is at least a bit of what i remember in term of popularity and what i can say is that i shouldn't be taken as an example of the fanbase's views in general.

I'm vibing in my corner, and by experience, it usually meant i ended up talking about more niche things, but since i'm disconnected from the fandom i'm pretty sure i still have opinions that are popular opinions. So who knows! not me!

So yeah that's all i can say about the popularity of the a3 fandom. Def not an indication of it by me.

and it must be funny for you since you only really have me as your fandom gateaway because well. *waves at post* yeah.

The more you know!

[willowser]

Hello willow!! first i would to say im so happy ur back :D!! i missed seeing u on my dash!!

Ur dabi posting has reminded me to tell u that is always reread ptmy whenever i have fuyumi/rei thoughts.... idkidk i love love love how you write fuyumi. she deserves to be angry and annoying and overprotective and flawed!!! i love her!!! she is my girlfriend!!!

also on ur dabi arm post.... ive always found the lack of prosthetic arm dabi ffs (at least in my tireless search) so sad 😔 i have like. random thoughts but im too shy to post them anywhere fhdgdhdhdjdh

hello dear, tysm !!! you're too cute !! 🥺 ty for the welcome back ✨️

i'm so glad you enjoy my fuyumi !!! i feel like i don't have a lot of particular thoughts on her as a character—and maybe bc she's just so solid in my mind LOL like. idk. she just makes sense to me ! how i write her is just. that's just fuyumi to me, idk LOL so i'm glad you're enjoying her !! tysm !!

and omg the dabi arm situation..........actually so bummed this came out after i started ptmy bc DO YOU KNOW how much i would have loved to include this in that fic. do you know how much i would love that. deep sigh oh well !! i have been having so many thoughts about it lately, but it's been more....au stuff WHO IS SURPRISED !!!

but pls share your thoughts with me !!!! i want to know them, if you want to share them 😌😌😌😌 i could talk about it forever i think !!!

[funkylittledemon]

autism and emotions is so.... well it fucking sucks is what it is. i need my mind to slow down for a second to get all these thoughts down bc i will explode if i dont get them out there (hence why this post - only bee is gonna see this & knows me enough to be worried for more than an hour or so and if i put this where nobody can see it aint actually out there) (wassup bee dw i am okay)

anyway

i say that life is just getting to me rn and it is but thats too vague a statement. current affairs (an impartial term but a useful one here) are getting to me - I'm trying to navigate adulthood while it feels like the life i was promised is being taken away by whatever event you want to pick; global warming, late-stage capitalism, multiple genocides, the list goes on. and I'm one of the lucky ones!! how fucked up is that! so there's that constant stress hanging above my head.

then there's more abstract life: navigating uni and living alone and looking after myself while forming relationships and starting to try carve a path for myself. this one isn't as bad but still can't be ignored and the fact that interpersonal relationships have become so scrutinised through social media doesn't help. no matter the insecurity you have or your own specific factors there will be someone online telling you your worst fears are right - i cant say how many times ive scrolled past a reel saying that i havent had a message back because "he" doesn't care. does the person saying this even know I've seen it, let alone who i am or who "he" is? No!! but the sentiment sticks with you despite only seeing it for 3 seconds before scrolling on, despite logically knowing it can't apply to me because its a catch-all statement to everyone who feels insecure pushed onto us by an algorithm that thinks we want to hear that. social media is feeding into our fears and insecurities and we can't stop it. as an autistic person whos insecure as fuck and who knows they dont understand a lot of societal cues being told by some random person that im right to be insecure really doesn't help - i get the idea of something stuck in my head and bc i know its bs i try get it out which cements it further into my mind and lends it credence.

then there's uni itself - i am now faced with the realisation that everything leading me up to uni and my course has been about me helping other people, often to my own detriment. i chose a counselling course because i was always the therapist friend, the one who everyone else went to for help. and wouldn't you know it I've been burnt out for years and literally don't have it in me to help strangers, or give a shit about their lives. i cared so much and made my entire life about helping other people that i had no idea what i wanted to do. im switching to just psychology now, because it is interesting and i do enjoy it but im kind of lost now i dont have that purpose. it also scares me just how much of my life hadn't been about me at all and im still not sure who i am if im not helping someone. obviously thats the dramatic version but you get the gist. uni's been a wakeup call i wasn't prepared for and theres the work and exams on top of that

christ this is long. okay. what else was there. emotions. god i hate emotions. this is the hard bit. all my emotions are so so big and i am so so small and it feels like they would devour me whole if they could. anxiety is a big one. recently pretty much all ive been feeling is anxiety - a deep anxiety that makes me nauseous pretty much 24/7. last week on friday i had what i call a breakdown. i still dont understand it (which is scary enough - every other breakdown i can disect and point to the cause). i just sarted screaming in the middle of the street and couldn't stop and its making me anxious just typing this up. then there was a day of panic attack after panic attack (lost count after the 4th i think) and then a few days later and some bad decisions (booze. ik i shouldn't have drank but i thought i was ok to drink) i had another breakdown. i dont remember much of this one but it ended in me being locked out and sobbing - security had to let me in and it must've been bad bc the guy gave me a card with hotlines on it. (again, i am okay). i lost my leather jacket that night which both sucks bc i loved that jacket and also the fact that it's gone is a constant reminder of something im ashamed of. after that it was just this constant nauseating anxiety, occasionally spiralling into something more but not significant enough to include. the thing about me and emotions is that my strategy for dealing with them is to ignore and repress them until they're not my problem anymore. which is bad. but idk how to cope with them healthily and when i feel okay i never know if its because i repressed them again or because i genuinely feel okay. being around other people helps but thats probably not a great thing - i hide my emotions from other people to avoid being a burden. not that its always a bad thing that my friends make me feel better its just not a sustainable approach to constantly avoid being alone. i have this constant struggle of feeling emotions so intensely then feeling shame because of how intensely i felt those emotions or how they made me act.

going on from emotions fucking me over and moving on from Life being an issue anxiety is a fucking bitch. all my life I've felt like an outsider and so constantly nervous about everything. it was hell and then in 6th form i made friends who were so so confident and i finally started to relax a little bit more and not feel bad about taking up space. uni was even better! i had flatmates i loved and i was going out doing things I'd never dreamed of and i was making friends!! i barely recognised myself and i loved it!! then the breakdown happened and i was plunged headfirst back into the old cycle of anxiety and going back to that after feeling what life could be like? that was worse than the breakdown. it feels like ive never felt worse and the knowledge that theres no reason for it, that nothing had actually changed other than me and i could still be out there with confidence but i wasn't was such a crushing feeling it felt like i was never gonna feel okay again. dramatic i know but the truth.

im home for easter break now and typing this out has helped and going back to my old stomping grounds has shown me i have still changed and i do still have the confidence even if i couldn't access it for a hot min. I'm still anxious but thats okay. my emotions don't have an all poweful spell over me and anxiety can suck my dick. there's still the fear that I'll go back to uni and it'll all come rushing back however im just gonna see how this break goes. im gonna be alone whether i like it or not while im down here and if i can manage to be okay with that then I'll be fine. and i do have a support system both here and up at university.

[nikomedes]

hey don’t mind me i havent slept in such a way that “up too late” for me is now a beautiful morning in many places but. ive been thinking a lot about mourning and adhd. i do a lot of mourning. i mourn the bright kid who didnt know shit was wrong with her. i mourn the years that feel lost even though i wasnt so young and easy to project potential on. i mourn different degrees at different colleges i mightve gone to if i knew what was up, instead of my auto-acceptance school and my degree in what was easy and my laughing off profs who wanted me to go further, get a masters. i mourn friendships i wrecked not knowing and friendships that got wrecked once i found out and learned i couldnt “fix” myself. i mourn passions. i am in a constant cycle of mourning passions. i pre-mourn. i find something that lights my soul on fire and i know for a fact in 6 months to 1 year im not gonna give a shit. i know that on day one. i start every hobby and skill and study field and book and show and game and song knowing my love has an expiration date and when it comes i won’t even care to mourn. i mourn when i think about friendships that have gone the same way. i mourn so many dead projects its unreal. i mourn my abrasiveness and i mourn the life-sucking effort of trying to be less so, trying to be easier, trying to balance all my worst qualities with enough usefulness and humor and insight to be worth keeping around. i mourn the shit out of lost time. i mourn a time when i remember things being simple enough i could lose hours without caring, before i had to break my whole life up with timer increments. i mourn having to spend a certain percentage of the rest of my life in doctors offices swearing im not magically better so i can keep getting the meds that fit me into the world. i mourn needing the fucking meds. i mourn mourning bc i know im borrowing a shitload of grief and not carrying it would be healthier, but not carrying it feels like forgetting, and do u know how much directionless mourning i do because i can see in its absence if not in actual understanding how much ive forgotten? i mourn the ways ive wrecked my body and finances trying to fill the gaps, not even from depression (and mourning), but because i have intrinsic gaps that need light and dopamine, and im so good at finding them in shitty places. i mourn careless typos and sleepless nights and energy drinks i don’t feel and futile rages at “im a little adhd!” toss-off comments and fucking. planners. i mourn the me that mightve been able to use a planner. the seventh grade me who got one for the first time and two weeks in had an Inkling of all this, but could still brush it off. i mourn the child i was and i mourn knowing so many things i struggle with make me a fucking child in the eyes of even people who love me. i mourn my learners permit. i mourn the books i would write. yknow. i fucking mourn

[butchviking]

@electriccenturies i think abt this sooo often bc yeah i DO feel wrong in a dress or skirt it DOES feel like drag but i dont think thats necessarily innate, i think its bc ive been raised in a gendered world.. like i dont want the markers of womanhood not bc i think theres anything in me that innately rejects a skirt as a piece of fabric, but rather i reject it for the implications it carries bc i know what femininity is i know what it means and what it is for, and most importantly bc it's smthn that was forced on me so ofc i've rebelled against that force. and the hair length thing is interesting bc i was just talking yesterday abt how the gnc part of me desires a short & practical haircut, yet i AM actually part of a (sub)culture where men have long hair so i do also often find myself desiring long hair as well 😭😭 i think the compairson @beatifiq made of depressed ppl is actually a super interesting one… lately im often thinking abt how after so many years of being uhh, Not Well, it's like smthn has happened to my brain.. it's like it's practiced depression for so long that that all those pathways have strengthened and it IS sort of ingrained in me now… u could transplant me into the most beautiful and perfect life in the world and things would b easier but i would still be how i am! and so too you could transplant me into a beautiful gender-free world and i would probably still feel weird as shit in a dress. i would probably still experience sex dysphoria. because thats smthn that by NOW is inherent to me, is smthn that's been shaped into my brain thru a lifetime of exposure to gender and misogyny. but it wasn't something that was necessarily ALWAYS going to happen to me. just like my depression, despite probable genetic predisposition, wasn't necessarily smthn that was ALWAYS going to happen to me. and maybe if i'd been raised into a world where sexism still existed but men had long hair and women had short hair, maybe i'd want long hair and maybe i'd adopt other masculine gender markers bc i'd still wish i could've been male… but ultimately that would still come from the same place as it does in this world, of seeing and experiencing sexism and knowing that i dont want to be in the category of Lesser Than. and if i were raised in a beautiful utopia with no sexism and no gender roles, there would be no reason for me to feel any particular way about short or long hair or anything else, other than what's most comportable & practical to me. would i still feel the way i do about my body? probably not! would some people still wish they could've been the opposite sex? i think probably, yeah.. but in much much smaller numbers than right now, and i probably would still think of that more as just a direction their minds & personalities had taken rather than smthn they were predestined from birth to want. like maybe they're just curious people who dwelt on the idea a lot, or maybe it's a sexual thing. i often think of my gender nonconformity as smthn innate to me, but i see gender as completely socially constructed so it's not that i think wearing jeans and baggy tshirts is innate to me or anything, i don't think the GENDER part is innate…. but i kind of think my stubbornness & disagreeable nature is innate, so i think whatever gender option i was presented with i'd probably always have been inclined to rebel against. if i were born male i'd probably be out there in skirts and dresses and ugly little heels wearing my hair in long beautiful flowing locks. my gender is not innate but im inclined to think my nonconformity kind of is lmaoo.

honest to god i forget so many ppl still think being trans is smthn innate to u n something u 'figure out' rather than a decision u actively make. thats so crazy wtf do they think is inside them

[dcptcnx]

Reflections

pairing: Sukuna Ryomen x f!reader

genre: hmmm...haunting? idk man LOL

wc: 1.6k

a/n: this idea has been in my head for ages, and ive had many dreams about it. I will make a part 2 and that part will contain smut (though it’ll be shit bc i suck at it) @cndyr4np0 I hope it’s good enough

There are a lot of stipulations revolving around what defines a ‘curse’. It was known around that Jujutsu Sorcerers existed and they get rid of said ‘curses’, but sometimes a curse is greater than what they anticipate. That is what they call ‘Special Grades’. Special Grades are not your average curses. They’re much stronger, and require a strong sorcerer to exorcize them. And sometimes the curse is way too strong, especially when it takes over your mind.

You were having a normal day, now commuting home from your half day of work to enjoy your weekend. The commute was pretty long, so you were lucky enough to get half days like this. To your surprise, the train car you sat in was more empty than it usually is. Lately, you have been seeing more and more jujutsu sorcerers going around and excising curses, but still to have a near empty train was surprising to say the least. 

‘I wouldn’t be surprised if one of these people on here is a sorcerer and that a curse is just sitting next to me.’ you let out a sigh of tiredness, looking up at the window across from you lazily. You knew the route consisted of a tunnel which put your mind at ease. You put on your headphones and looked straight ahead at the empty window, soon being encased in a darkness from the tunnel. Only to immediately yank your headphones off and shift your gaze to the right. 

‘No. That didn’t just happen.’ You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat. 

“Ah, but it did.” A deep voice whispered out, causing you to continue to shift your gaze all over the train, breathing heavily.

“Hello? Did you ask me something?” You asked the tall male that was standing a few feet away. He turned his gaze at you like you were crazy, only to shake his head and turn himself around to look away. Slowly, you sit back against the seat, holding your belongings closer, hoping nothing bad would happen. Pulling out your phone to check the time, you see that same image again for a split second before the screen is illuminated with a new notification. 

“You can see me, that’s good.” The same deep voice echoed again, causing you to move your gaze around more, but with caution. “Relax, relax, it's not like I can physically hurt you.” You decide to look up and at the window, only to widen your eyes to see the same image, but this time closer in distance from once before. Salmon colored hair, black markings almost like tattoos littered on his face and arms. He wore a white casual kimono, all while holding a smirk on his face. He brought up his hands towards his face, in a way that looked like he was forming a sacred symbol.

“Ryōiki Tenkai” The figure said, which made your eyes widen, knowing what those words did. Slamming your eyes shut, you tried to rid his image off the mind. Once you re-opened your eyes a moment later, you were met with the sunset beaming through the window, like nothing was happening. 

“There’s no way that a curse was there.” You mumbled to yourself as you stood up to look outside the window to see if anything changed. You knew what Domain Expansions were and did not want to experience whichever one this curse had. Letting out a sigh of relief, you were glad to see everything was as it looked before entering the tunnel. Calming down, you sat back down, keeping an eye out the window watching the sunset glow. The train finally stopped and you exited and continued to walk in the direction towards your apartment. 

Walking through town to get to her place, You passed by many stores with windows displaying their items. Scared as you were about the incident moments ago, you didn’t want to waste any time window shopping. Passing by a store, you stop in your tracks when you notice a figure behind you in the reflection of the window. Eyes wide, you turn your head slowly to look at the same figure from moments ago, memories flashing of his words. Quickly, you turned around, to see nobody in the flesh, only to continue to see his reflection inside the window. 

“Who are you?” You whispered, trying hard not to alert people that you are not talking to anybody in particular. 

“Oh you know, the king of curses. Your good pal, Sukuna.” He smirked, lowering his voice as he said his name and title. He brought up his hands once more to form that same gesture as earlier, and before you could close your eyes and run, it was too late. Suddenly the window you looked into, showed him directly behind you, a different atmosphere than the street you once stood on. Looking down, you began to notice you were standing in a body of water that almost resembled blood but wasn’t red in color. Moved your gaze up, you saw what looked like a rib cage, which ended with you turning around and to see a pile of animal skulls, with a throne sitting atop of the pile, with this person sitting on it. 

Speechless, your gaze fixated on the figure who had an aura that seemed to suffocate you in strength. He made his way down the pile to walk towards you. Once standing in front of you, he reaches out, firmly grasping your jaw and yanking you towards him. 

“You look so shocked to see a curse. Stop, it looks stupid.” He spat out, grip slightly tightening as he leaned closer to inspect your face. He clicked his tongue before harshly releasing your face, and standing up straight. “You can’t get rid of me. I’ll be following you and watching you everywhere.” Softly gulping, you began to relax your eyelids, hoping it would appease Sukuna so he wouldn’t call you stupid again.

He turned around to climb back up to his throne, leaving you helplessly back at the bottom. Silently, your eyes followed his every step, wondering how you ended up in this mess. “Why me?” You spoke up, voice shaky as you were terrified of the strength he had. 

“Well, why not?” It was such a short answer, but his words held such power that it almost frightened you beyond repair. What did a king of curses want or need from someone like you? You didn’t understand what could be so fascinating about you that would warrant attention from him. “I’d also be careful on how you speak to me. I am still a king, and unless I give your permission, you can’t casually call me by my name.” He looks down at you, arm resting against the edge of his throne, head resting in his hand. 

“Y-Yes…sir…” You mumbled, uncertain on if you should actually obey him, or play along until you had the upper hand. You slowly turned your gaze back towards the small opening of light that sat at the far end of the area. Turning your body, you began to take one step, before Sukuna spoke up.

“I can bring you here at any point. Don’t forget that.” He boomed out, before you softly jogged through the water and into the light. Since it was so bright, you squint your eyes, before opening them wide to see you standing in the same spot as when he summoned you. The TV inside the window was showing a new video as when he pulled you away, which confused you.

“Does time pass normally here, but slower there?” You whispered which caught the attention of the students standing next to you, with questioning glances. “O-Oh! I’m reading a..book! Yeah, a book…” You stammer out, sighing once the kids walk away, softly giggling mentioning how ‘crazy that lady sounded’. Removing your gaze from the kids, you glanced back at the window, seeing Sukuna standing there again, a smirk evident on his lips. 

“Good girl.”

Quickly, you made your way back home, relieved to be away from the public for when and if he decided to torment you again. You made sure to lock the door, in case someone wanted to try and break in while you may have been ‘away’. Setting your belongings down on the table, you subconsciously looked at yourself in the mirror on the wall across the room, only to catch your breath when Sukuna appeared in the mirror.

“Ah, you miss me already?” He playfully remarked, his arms crossing over his chest, smirking as he watched you clench your fists. “I can always just…bring you back.”

“That won’t be necessary, sir.” You gritted her teeth at the word ‘sir’ leaving your lips, Not believing that you had to obey a curse. Anger radiated off your aura, which made Sukuna laugh at your feeble attempts to brush him off. It actually intrigued him more. Ever since first seeing you, he grew a fondness, always wanting more. After the small talk, you made every attempt to avoid anything with a reflection so you didn’t have to see him again. Oh but how tough that was.

10 o’clock rolled around, and you slipped into bed, ready to go to sleep. After a few minutes of lying in silence, sighing in relief that Sukuna hadn’t tried to speak again, you succumbed to the sleep that crept up on yourself. You had been asleep for a couple of hours, it seemed before your eyes softly fluttered open, only to realize you weren't in bed, but instead, in the same body of water you saw earlier in the day. Panicked, you jolted up, quickly trying to find the exit, until his voice echoed in.

“Oh, I never knew you’d dream about me, sweetheart~”

[wienerbarnes]

Italian Heart

Pairing: Bucky x Italian!MobBoss!Reader

Word Count: 4,867

Warnings: canon level violence, possible inaccurate italian slang lol

A/N: ive been watching a lot of the sopranos lately and i feel like ive never seen a bucky x mob boss reader au (ive only rlly seen em where buckys the mob boss. if there are ones where reader is the mob boss PLS SEND EM TO ME I BEG) a lot of the slang and mob stuff here is from sopranos bc... im not in the fucking mafia so forgive me anyway enjoy :)<3

MAIN MASTERLIST

Bucky’s never seen a woman quite like yourself.

Dressed in expensive satin and jewelry that hangs between your breasts, an angry look on your face at the fact you’re sitting before him and Sam in an interrogation room in the tower. Freshly done nails, clean and crisp lipstick, spicy perfume, and an expression of annoyance.

As put together as you look, you don’t look like someone to be fucked with. Which, he supposes is good for a mobster; the Boss of Newark.

Looking at you, though, he’d never thought you to be such a figure of intimidation. While the mafia is still alive, despite how the media tries to deny this, he always pictured an old Italian man that chain smokes cigars. He doesn’t think he’s too far off, to his credit; he can smell the remnants of smoke on you.

“Mind if we make this fast? My cousin’s comin’ for dinner and I was gonna make ziti.” You huff, crossing your legs under the table.

“Sounds delicious. Sorry for dragging you all the way out here.” Sam says, a calm look on his face even though he’s well aware of what you’re capable of.

When hunting down the last traces of the super soldier serum, he never thought Nick Fury himself would suggest getting in touch with you. He didn’t think it was worth the time to question how the two of you knew each other.

Theft. Drugs. Murder. Bribery. The list goes on, and there’s not a single thing that ties you to any of it.

A shrug of your shoulders, “So, what exactly is this about?” You ask.

“What is it that you do for a living?” Sam asks.

“I work in waste management.” You respond, a rehearsed answer.

Not exactly a lie, the environmental facility you manage is one of hundreds of covers used by your crew for your crimes. Environmental facilities, deli shops, strip clubs, auto shops. There isn’t a business in Jersey you aren’t tied to.

“Waste management? Like, garbage disposal?” Bucky asks, knowing exactly what it is you do for work.

You smirk, “Yeah, we dispose of garbage sometimes. What’s that got to do with me being here?”

“It’s to my understanding that you’re in the business of… buying and selling things. You and… the people you hang around got a real knack for it.” Sam tells you.

Bucky holds back a roll of his eyes. More like stealing and selling. Expensive Italian suits, antique watches, cars, electronics, illegal cigars. Who knows what else.

“I don’t know where you heard that… but I’m a popular gal, maybe I know a guy who might know a guy. What are you lookin’ for?” You ask.

You know this game, after being in the mob for so long. After being a part of your own crew for years, your patience and hard work paid off, working your way up to a captain and finally a boss. It didn’t take you long to learn in this business that government officials are jokes. Always wanting to bust my balls and then come crying to my corner for help, it’s a bunch of ugatz.

“Serums.” Bucky finally speaks.

A laugh escapes you, “What, like vitamin C?” You teasingly smirk at him.

His chair makes a loud sound in the small room as he pushes it back harshly and stands, resting his hands on the table in between the two of you. You don’t flinch.

“Enough with the bullshit. Super serums. To create super soldiers. We need to get them before they end up in the wrong hands and make a big ass mess.” He snaps at you, but you don’t seem phased in the slightest. In fact, you seem rather amused.

“You must have a lot of agita with all that anger, Sergeant Barnes.”

He doesn’t hold back this time and rolls his eyes before you speak up again, “Your first name is James, isn’t it? Ain’t that Italian?”

“No, it’s English. Or Scottish. Or Jewish - I don’t know, who cares? Are you gonna help us or not?” Bucky takes his seat again, crossing his thick arms over his broad chest.

“What’s in it for me?” You ask, leaning back in your chair.

“Not being arrested for all the shit we know you’re caught up in.” Sam offers.

You roll your own eyes this time, “I’ll take my chances. Thanks for wasting my time, boys, don’t let it happen again.” You stand, prepared to make your way back to the train station to go back to Jersey.

“Wait,” Sam stops you, “What is it that you want?”

You smile innocently and take your seat again, taking a minute to think before answering, “My little sister’s a big fan of yours. I’m sure she and all her friends would think it’s cool if you showed up to her prom as her date.” You wink at Sam.

Silence fills the room as the men think about your request.

“You’re gonna do it, right?” Bucky looks over at him and sees Sam rubbing the crease in between his eyes. He was expecting you to ask for immunity, protection, money, guns. But after hearing your request, he supposes you have enough of all that stuff anyway.

“Man -” Sam begins to refuse.

“Sam, it’s a fucking school dance in exchange for some of the most powerful and sought after serums on the planet - go to the fucking prom.” He tells him, eyebrows scrunching in confusion as to how he would hesitate on something so simple.

“She’s eighteen, so you won’t have any problems with the media or none of that.” You add, the information not really making Sam feel any better.

“Alright, alright, fine. I’ll go to the dance with your sister if you help us get these serums.”

You smile, happy to have done business with the two men, “What information do ya got for me?”

…

Bucky and Sam wait outside a back room in the facility you own. They passed the garbage trucks parked neatly outside, but could hear your screaming and the smell of Cuban cigars as soon as they entered the building.

She’s with a customer, they were told, by someone in your crew, them meeting Bucky’s expectations for mobsters more than you did. None of them ask any questions, but Bucky and Sam aren’t stupid, they’re sure your crew is aware of what’s going on and know the exact reason they’re there.

“You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you know that? The Bible says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit -”

“You listen to me, you take your Bible and your quotations book and shove it up your fat fucking ass! Now get the fuck out of my face!”

Bucky can’t help but scoff listening to you scream at whoever’s inside. Sam elbows him, silently telling him that now isn’t the time to find your work funny, especially not in front of the rest of your crew.

Bucky knows he’s old-fashioned, and while things that were taboo such as body modifications or certain fashion styles don’t phase him anymore, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to hearing a woman talk like that. He doesn’t think he’s ever even heard anybody talk like you do.

Suddenly a man bursts out of the room, huffing and puffing, and you walk slowly behind him, as if to make sure he makes it outside okay.

“Grab his plate for me, will you?” You say not to anyone in particular, voice smooth and calm as if you hadn’t been yelling and threatening that man’s life for the past twenty minutes.

One of the men from your crew follows outside, seemingly to collect the license plate of the man who just left.

“Nothing’s gonna happen to that guy, right?” Sam asks as he and Bucky enter the room, taking a seat in front of the desk you have in there. He knows there’s no point in asking, that you’ll do whatever you want regardless because it’s obvious you’re passionate about receiving respect, but it was worth a shot.

“Is that what you came all the way to Jersey to ask me? Christ, I’m fuckin’ starving, you boys want anything to eat?” You ask, accent heavy as you reach into the side drawer of your desk and pull out what seems to be some kind of meat wrapped in paper.

“Gabagool?” You offer to them, picking out a slice for yourself and placing it in your mouth.

“Gesundheit.” Sam responds.

“It’s pork, you asshole.”

Bucky silently reaches over and picks off a slice of the cured cold cut, putting the meat in his mouth and savoring the flavor. While he can’t stand the way you make a living or the sailor’s mouth you have, he loves Italian food, and actually chose a neighborhood in New York that has plenty of traditional cold cut markets and restaurants to live in in order to fulfill his cravings.

“There’s a big party staged downtown this weekend, we think that’s when the drop is going to happen.” Sam tells you, bringing the focus to their reason for coming here in the first place.

“I’ll send one of my boys.” You reply in between your chews.

“That wasn’t the deal. The deal was you get the serums.” Bucky speaks up.

“Buck, you know how many people want her dead?” Sam tries to reason.

“What the fuck do I have a crew for then? - No, if pretty boy wants me to do it myself, then I will. The same people that want my head are the same fucks who are terrified to be within twenty feet of me in fear they’ll make eye contact. I’m not scared of nothin’.” You say, narrowing your eyes at Bucky.

“What did you guys come here to talk about?” You ask.

Sam looks confused at your expression, “...To go over the plan? Hash out details? So you know how everything’s gonna go?”

“I’ll be fine; I’ve seen The Godfather once or twice,” You tell him, wrapping up the cappo, after Bucky picks off one last slice, and replacing it in the drawer, “Don’t worry Captain, this ain’t my first rodeo. I’ll get the serums for you.” You open a different drawer and pull out a cigar and a lighter.

Bucky watches as you place the large cigar in between your red-painted lips, bringing the flame of your lighter to the end and hollowing your cheeks until smoke exits from the corner of your mouth. Bucky feels blood travel south as his eyes glaze over your hand grab the cigar out of your mouth and blow out a long string of smoke.

“I guess we’ll be in touch then,” Sam stands and Bucky follows after.

“My sister’s wearing blue, so find yourself a nice tie.” You call out, lifting your feet up to cross them on the desk, dress rising and showing your legs.

Bucky blushes, and then laughs as he exits when he hears you, in a deep and more exaggerated accent than your own, “Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in!”

…

The morning of the party, Sam and Bucky pick you up from your house, planning to take you into New York to discuss final details before tonight.

You get in the passenger seat, Sam offering it to you and climbing in the backseat. As Bucky begins to drive off, your phone rings.

“I told you to leave that.” Bucky says, telling you explicitly to leave electronics here to prevent anyone finding out where you are, and also to avoid any distractions.

“Wanted to see what you’d about it, Sarge,” You wink at him, pulling out a flip phone and answering the call.

“Yeah… Uh huh… He what? Are you fucking kidding me?... Alright… Tell him not to move a fucking muscle.” You hang up, slamming the phone closed.

“Stop at the facility for a sec, I gotta take care of something.” Bucky sighs and turns away from the route to head to your facility.

“Bucky’s going to be going with you tonight, by the way, he’ll be in disguise. Just in case anything goes wrong.” Sam tells you, not really caring anymore about having to make a stop for you to take care of whatever business you need to take care of.

Your only response is a hum as Bucky can feel the anger radiating off your now tense body.

You slam the car door shut as Bucky parks behind a garbage truck outside, not even waiting for him to fully put the car in park before you exit.

Him and Sam follow quickly behind you to see what’s going on. You enter through a side door that leads to a large room, a garage for the trucks, Bucky assumes.

There’s a large truck inside, and racks of suits wrapped in plastic scattered around. A younger man stands near the truck as your crew peruses around the racks, he couldn’t be older than twenty-five years old. Your heels click on the ground as you approach, slowing down as you glance between the suits and the young man. Bucky and Sam hang around a few feet behind your trail.

You stop, fuming, staring at the man before you speak, “You wanna tell me what the fuck happened?”

“I -” He begins, but you cut him off, raising an open hand at him.

“Actually, I don’t even want to hear your fucking voice right now. Because if what I heard you did is true; if what you did to Vinny’s guy is true, you’re gonna be a fuck load of trouble.”

“Can I -”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“But -”

“I said shut the fuck up, Christopher! What part of that don’t you understand?” You yell, and even Bucky feels intimidated.

You turn to your crew, “What the fuck happened.” You demand, more than ask.

“Kid says he tried to take the truck, Vinny’s guy had a gun that fell outta the seat, went off, shot him.” One of the men summarizes, not looking up from the rack of suits.

You raise a manicured hand to pinch between your eyes, “You keep me skinny, Christopher, with all the fucking stress you cause me.”

“Would you let me explain?” He tries.

“If you don’t do as I told you and shut your fucking mouth, you’re gonna be buried with two assholes,” You threaten before continuing.

“They were fuckin’ suits! All you had to do was take the truck! How did you fuck that up -” You stop yourself and sigh, attempting to calm yourself down.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna take all this shit, you’re gonna take it back to Vinny, and you’re gonna tell him what happened yourself.” You finish.

“Marone!” He exclaims, rubbing his face with his hands.

“Enough with the theatrics! You’re lucky I don’t put a bullet in your ass! Now, I don’t see you grabbing that rack and that rack and that rack and putting it back in the truck!” You wave your arms around the room.

The kid sighs and begins grabbing the racks one by one and rolling them back in the truck.

“Would it be such a shame if they all went back?” An older man from your crew asks, already wearing one of the expensive suits. You scoff and laugh.

“Bucky, pick yourself somethin’ nice for tonight,'' You turn to face him, and he jumps at the sound of your now calmer voice being directed at him, as opposed to the harsh one used on Christopher, “On me.” You wink.

...

Sam and Bucky sit on the bed and watch as you get ready. A small apartment near the party that’s already been swept for bugs. A favor, you called it, from someone you know.

They don’t question it.

“You and Bucky will go in together and I’ll be waiting at a secondary location watching and listening to everything.”

Bucky can’t tear his eyes away from your dress. A mermaid dress, he thinks it is, black and tight and hugging you in all the right places, curving around your ass and sleeveless at the top, allowing you to show off a nice necklace and your cleavage. It’s an understatement to say that he’ll enjoy accompanying you tonight, even if it’s in a costume.

His mother probably would’ve loved it if he would’ve gotten with someone like you. Someone who loves their family, a spitfire that wouldn’t take any of his shit, and whose god damn gorgeous. She might’ve had to wash your mouth out with soap, though.

“So, why is Bucky goin’ again?”

“Safety.” Bucky answers.

“Is he going for my safety or am I going for his?” You tease, finishing the last few curls of your hair, smoke coming from the iron after each time you pull your hair away from it.

“Once you find our guy, get talking with him and see if you can get him to make you an offer,” He begins.

“One I can’t refuse?”

“Then, you’ll try and get him alone, see if he’ll show you the serums, and once you do, we’ll be taking care of the rest.” Sam finishes explaining.

Bucky plucks a box from his pocket and opens it to reveal a pair of diamond earrings. One, a camera, and the other, a microphone. You’re also given a comm to hide in your ear so both him and Sam can hear everything and you can hear them.

“Easy - peasy.” You respond.

The ballroom is lively, loud music and people everywhere, and Bucky attunes all the action overwhelming him to a sweat and not that fact that you’re pressed up against him, his arm wrapped around your waist.

About a hundred different people come up to greet you, asking about your family, offering you drinks and food. Bucky can see right through all of them though; they’re all putting on the act out of fear. Everyone’s attention is on you, and Bucky’s sure if he wasn’t in disguise right now, no one would even notice.

You bring him to the middle of the crowd and he can’t be surprised when you start to dance with him, pulling at his arms to get him to loosen up. He complies, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close as the two of you move together.

“I’ll let you know when I spot him.” He tells you, voice causing goosebumps to rise on your neck; goosebumps that he notices but doesn’t point out.

It only takes a song or two before he spots who he’s looking for and sends you over, making sure your com is on, and choosing to stick by the bar, giving him a good view of you and allowing himself a break of having your body pressed against his.

He’s impressed listening to you talk to this guy, voice smooth and sultry, yet still commanding.

He knows there was a lot of talk when you took position as boss; not a lot of people in the mob took you seriously and didn’t think you or a woman in general would be good in that kind of position in power. So, you use that to your advantage to get shit done, and Bucky applauds you for that.

It’s not long before the guy offers to go somewhere more private to discuss business and Bucky follows far behind, Sam praising you through the coms from where he waits in the car outside, watching through the camera in your earring.

Bucky waits outside of a closed office door upstairs, listening to the conversation through the coms but hearing your exclamation through the door when the guys give you his asking price.

“5 mil each?! What do you take me for, some kinda stunad?”

“Take it or leave it.”

“Take it or leave it, yeah, I can put a bullet between your eyes and take it, alright.”

“Stop messing around and take the offer, it’s not real anyway!” Sam tells you, not wanting to lose their chance on the serums.

You ignore him prioritizing your need for respect over the stupid mission, “How do I know these aren’t Kool-Aid pouches poured in glass bottles?”

“Well, I’m certainly not going to test ‘em out for you.” The guy scoffs.

“Stronzo. You’re outta your fucking mind offering me that.”

“I’ll lower the price for you if you give me a little dance, how ‘bout that?”

“Vaffanculo.” You curse at him.

“Up yours, lady!” He yells back, and Sam sees through the camera, he grabs at you.

“Buck, get in there.” Sam tells him, and it only takes Bucky a second to kick open the door.

He’s a bit taken aback when he not only sees the case of serums out on the table, but you holding the man bent over the small table in the middle of the room next to the serums, gun held to the back of his head.

He very quickly decides that you’re fine and moves to grab the serums, closing the case and holding it securely in his left hand.

“Don’t kill the guy.”

You stay silent and Bucky looks at you again. He can almost see the steam coming out of your ears and he notices a small cut on your cheek bone. He looks down to the man’s cowering figure and notices a large ring on his hand.

You mumble something in Italian to the man, a threat of some kind that Bucky can guess given how the man shuts his eyes and shakes a bit under your hold. Sam finally enters the room, military grade handcuffs in hand.

“Feds are on their way, get her out of here.” He tells Bucky.

You slowly lift the gun off the man’s head and stand up straighter, walking over to brush past Bucky in the direction of the back door.

He makes eye contact with Sam and gives him a nod before following after you, watching as you scrunch up the bottom of your dress to replace the gun in an ankle holster. Once outside, he stops you under a street light near the car and raises his hand to look at your cheek.

“We gotta get going,” You swat at his hand.

“You’re still bleeding.” He says, using his thumb to brush away the line of blood, smearing a red tinge on your skin.

He looks into your eyes and for a second he sees the tough exterior drop. The face of someone who got smacked across the cheek all for mouthing off at some asshole.

Your vulnerability doesn’t last long, though, as you sniff and walk towards the car, opening the passenger door and sitting inside before Bucky can make it over there to open the door for you.

The drive back to the apartment is silent, and Bucky doesn’t know what to do or say to fill the silence. Stepping into the apartment, you immediately go to change and collect your things. Bucky moves to the bathroom to look for a first aid kit of some kind.

He meets you in the room and you’re now in cotton pants and a large t-shirt, sandals on your feet showing the bright red color of your toenails and the lines indented in your skin from how tight your heels were. You’re hanging up the dress and zipping it back in the cover when Bucky drops the first aid kit on the bed.

“Christ, it’s only a small cut.” You mumble.

“Just - Let me, would you?”

He takes out the liquid of disinfectant and soaks a cotton pad, cleaning off your cheek bone with it before covering it with healing ointment and a bandaid.

You don’t thank him when he finishes and he huffs as he closes the kit, “When do you drop the act, huh?”

“I don’t.”

“Really?” Bucky asks in annoyed disbelief.

“No. People tend to try and have me whacked when I drop the act.”

He sighs, “So, what, nobody ever takes care of you? Treats you? You don’t have any days off? Time to be yourself?”

“This lifestyle doesn’t really allow me to have days off, Sergeant Barnes.” You snap, gathering the dress in your hands and turning to face him completely.

“Take me home, I’m tired and my feet hurt.”

You leave him in the room and he waits an extra few seconds before dropping the conversation and following you out.

...

Bucky opens the back door to the environmental facility with his right hand and sees the door to your office open, you and your crew sitting together surrounded by cigar smoke and he can hear a TV on.

“Sir, please step into the vehicle.”

“Like the cop would be callin’ this asshole Sir if the fuckin’ cameras weren’t around!” You wave a hand at the TV, not yet seeing Bucky standing there.

He finds it funny that the gnarliest criminals - the literal Mafia - spend their time watching shitty, scripted cop shows.

It’s been about two weeks since the mission with you where you retrieved the serums. Sam went to prom with your sister five days ago, which was hilarious for him, especially when he got photo prints of different sizes in the mail at his apartment. He didn’t bother thinking about how you found his address.

One of the men sitting next to you glances his way and sees him standing there, smirking at the vision of him; hair combed slightly back and to the side, and a large bouquet of flowers in his right hand and a small paper box in his left.

“You got company, Boss.” He says.

You look over to the doorway and your jaw drops in an open-mouthed smile.

“Look at googootz! Now this is a man that knows how to treat a lady, are you boys paying attention?” You tease, scurrying over to him and pinching one of his cheeks, resting your free hand on his large bicep to guide him into the room, the rest of your crew ushering out to give the two of you privacy.

“What’s in the box?”

“Cannoli.”

You throw your head back with an exaggerated moan, “You know the way to an Italian woman’s heart, Sergeant Barnes. What’s with all the gifts?”

“Thought I’d treat you.” Is all his response is.

You narrow your eyes at him and stand up a little straighter, crossing your arms over your chest.

The last conversation before he dropped you off that night hasn’t escaped his mind. He understands the difficulties of life - how it’s hard to find time for yourself among the busy schedule that is existing. He catches himself sometimes, too, forcing his body to run with no sleep, burning through all of his energy until he’s completely drained and blaming it on life.

But life’s not always like that. Life allows for days off. For treats. For a bit of kindness. And Bucky’s come to show you just that.

“What, a beautiful woman like you never received flowers and pastries before?” He says, taking a half-step forward to be close enough to look you closer in the eyes.

“Are you flirting with me?” You whisper in amusement.

His eyes glance away from yours to look down at your red-painted lips. He gives you a shy smirk, really turning up the charm. For a big, bad, boss, you’re pretty easy to break down.

“Let me take you out tonight.”

“Maybe I’ve got plans.”

“Cancel ‘em.”

“What makes you think you’re worth canceling plans for?”

“Why don’t you trust me and find out?”

“You should know by now, Sergeant Barnes, that I don’t trust.”

He doesn’t respond for a moment, setting the box of cannoli on your desk before reaching his now free hand up to your face, using his finger to brush away a stray hair and push it behind your ear.

He then takes a hold of one of your hands, turning it over to place a kiss on the top of it, before wrapping your fingers around the flowers in his other hand, forcing you to take them.

“No restaurant you’ve been to a hundred times over, no drama, no business. Just a man trying to treat a lady.” You look down at the flowers before meeting his eyes again.

“I get to pick the place.”

“No.”

“The kind of food.”

“No.”

“The -”

“No. Let me take care of everything.” Bucky insists, determined to get you to give up control for the first time in what he can only imagine has been a very long time.

Bucky knows better than anyone how terrifying it is to give up control. It was terrifying when he was forced to give up control, his free will taken away from him in the war for decades upon decades, but it’s terrifying even now when he has to do it as a free man. It makes a person vulnerable. When was the last time you were allowed to be vulnerable for somebody?

“I’m gonna pick you up here at six. Wear something nice and leave the executive attitude at home.” He finishes, leaving you with the flowers and cannoli before returning back outside, ignoring the stares he receives from you crew who wait patiently outside your office.

He feels your eyes follow him at the door, and he can’t wait to sweep you off your feet tonight.

[pluviophile-imagines]

LOWI CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWER MILESTONE!! 🥺💞💞💞 u deserve it and so much more!! for the kiss prompt could i get 18 with shinsou ?? 🥺👉👈

TYSM SOFFFF so uh. I’ve been fuckin stupid dkfnskfb my dumbass rlly wrote Shinsou correctly on my master post like a week ago and then still managed to write for Shigaraki instead when it came to the actual piece 😳 so thanks to my handyman brainrot you get two—that’s right, two!—characters for the price of one ur welcome ♥️ I cheated a lil bit so shinsou;s not sitting in the reader’s lap it’s just his head but i think its cute 🥺 also Shiggy’s is like twice as long as ive been trying to write them oops i rlly like the jealous reader premise 👉👈 it’s under the read more bc of that and bc of kiiiinda spoilers? if yall arent caught up to the manga you won’t get it but if u are it’s canonical. Whew that was a lot! Enjoy!

Kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap

Shinsou

To say that your relationship with Shinsou is new would be an understatement. You’ve been friends for years—ever since the third year of high school when you’d been assigned to him as his support—but you’ve never been particularly close until recently when you’d once again found yourself working on his hero costume and support items.

He’d only asked you out yesterday after nearly two months of tension-filled glances and fleeting touches. Now, the two of you are watching a movie at your mutual friend Kirishima’s apartment, sitting quite awkwardly on a loveseat and pretending like you don’t want to get closer to each other. You haven’t told your friends yet about your new relationship status, but that’s not entirely what’s holding you two back. If anything, it’s run-of-the-mill first date awkwardness (if watching a movie with six of your closest friends around can be considered a date), too afraid to initiate anything.

The movie’s dull; the two of you have pulled out your phones to snark at each other through text, a strategy you’d begun weeks ago after being hushed one too many times by Kaminari because you were talking too loudly. The bright screens probably aren’t all that much better, but you two are in the back anyway; nobody can see it unless they turn away from the TV.

You risk a glance up and end up locking eyes with Shinsou. Your face heats up, heartbeat quickening, as he gives you a charming smile. You watch him glance around the room, unsure at first why he’s doing it until he turns his attention back to you and slowly, silently, moves over across the loveseat into your personal space.

Your legs are touching now, faces so close your nose is nearly brushing his. One of his hands has come to brace against the armrest you’re leaning on, allowing him to stay leaning in.

“Hey,” he says, little more than a whisper and clearly hushed so the others don’t hear.

“Hey yourself,” you respond, earning yourself a low snort.

Instead of vocally responding, he pushes himself back up to a sitting position and then moves his hands to maneuver your legs until you’re no longer curled up against the couch’s backing but sitting like a normal person.

Then he lays down, head resting on your thighs, and turns to face the movie.

You’re grinning uncontrollably. All possible self-conscious thoughts of the others seeing you are dashed from your mind; you like the weight of him in your lap too much.

You spend much of the rest of the movie like that, easily over half an hour. A few minutes in he reaches down to find your hand and bring it to his hair, encouraging you to stroke it. It’s even softer than you’ve imagined in the past, fluffy and thick and genuinely nice to run your hands though. There’s a surge of contentment that rushes through you, and maybe a little bit of pride at the knowledge that you can do this pretty much any time you want now.

By the end of the film, you’re pretty sure Shinsou’s fallen asleep. He gives you the scare of your life, however, when he grabs your arm as you’re trying to pull away. His eyes open, purple irises trained on you.

What happens next you blame on grogginess, him still not quite being awake. He blames it on you; whenever you mention it, he says he saw you and had become consumed with an overwhelming desire to just lean up and kiss you. Whatever the reason, it’s nice for you.

His hand comes up to the back of your neck, tugging you down just as much as he lifts up. It begins soft, kind of sweet, just lips as the two of you melt into each other—but it doesn’t stay that way for long. Within moments the two of you morph the kiss from a quick peck after a movie to a very passionate makeout, and frankly you’d be more concerned if they hadn’t interrupted the two of you.

You pull away when you hear Kaminari’s wolf whistle, left sitting on the loveseat with a burning face and your boyfriend in your lap, still half asleep.

Shigaraki

You’re not jealous.

No, you’ve been dating Tomura for months. You can’t be jealous when he’s, well, yours, and has been for quite some time. You’re his first relationship, his first everything, and it’s frankly foolish of you to feel this insecure just because some floozy is simpering at him from across the enormous room where you and the rest of the League are scattered about. It’s not like she really wants him, or even knows him; he’s just the hew big-shot leader and she’s decided being his lover sounds good. Too bad that role’s already taken.

Still, there’s a sinking feeling in your chest—an ache in your heart, a burning lump in your throat—that says now that Tomura is Grand Commander he’ll drop you for someone better.

You don’t realize you’re glaring daggers at the woman until she catches your eye. She has no business looking that smug; the only reason she’s allowed in the room is to give Tomura reports. You’re the one lounging next to him as she approaches; he has your legs over his lap, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing circles on your thigh.

And when she bends down to drop the report on his lap (as if your damn legs aren’t there, you want to scoff) she draws the eyes of every League member except the one she wants, because you’re the one who has Tomura’s attention.

He’s wearing Father, but you’ve long passed being afraid when he looks at you from between those lifeless digits and you can see the expression beneath; those lips tugging down slightly in a pout, brow furrowed, eyes far softer than they have any damn business being while hiding behind the severed hand of his old man. He’s concerned, and a little confused.

Tomura plucks the report from your legs and sets it aside, reaching to pull you fully into his lap. To your surprise he takes Father off, too; he buries his face into your neck to prevent the outsider from seeing, lips just brushing your ear so that you can hear him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve been pouting ever since the secretary came in, brat.”

Like hell you’re saying anything in front of her. You remain stubbornly silent.

He doesn’t like that, you can tell, but while the secretary’s interest is lost on him he knows you well enough to tell that you’re uncomfortable with her. Presumably that’s why he doesn’t press the issue and kisses you instead.

You don’t expect it. Tomura’s not exactly one to shy away from PDA (you’re sitting in his lap in front of the whole League, for fuck’s sake), but intimacy is something he’s never wanted to take beyond closed doors. When he’s in a sour mood you’ll kiss him sometimes, even in public (he’s invigorated by your affection in many way, but never anything you’d call heated.

This kiss, though, is. It’s anything but chaste, perhaps even downright lewd. He’s all but initiating a makeout with you while Miss Secretary is standing right there. Maybe his affection-motivated ways are rubbing off on you, but it helps more than it probably ought to.

You’re dazed by the time he pulls away. The sound of the door slamming closed snaps you from your trance. The secretary, ploy foiled simply by your annoyed expression, had left. It doesn’t matter. None of this was ever really about her in the first place.

“There,” Tomura says, audibly quite pleased with himself. “She’s gone. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

You sigh, leaning in to tuck your own head into his shoulder. Your voice is muffled when you speak, quiet so that only he can hear.

“It’s dumb.”

“It’s bothering you,” he says simply. There’s an underlying statement there: tell me so I can destroy it for you. In many ways, Tomura is a predictable man.

You know he’s not going to drop it, so you accept your fate. “She was making a pass at you.”

He tenses beneath you, holding you closer. You risk lifting your head from where it’s buried to see the way his nose is scrunched up. “She wasn’t.”

“Yeah, she was.”

There’s a pause, like he’s processing everything you’re saying. Then, seemingly finally registering what exactly is bothering you, his hands move to grip your hips and maneuver you to straddle him, sitting fully on his lap facing him. “Fine. Why’re you pissed about it, then?”

You lean in again, arms coming to wrap around his neck as you bury your face into his chest and try to ignore the tears that are coming. You’d never be able to live it down if any of the others saw you crying over the fucking secretary.

But you know more than anyone thanks to many late nights assuring your boyfriend he’s the only one for you that Tomura can empathize with this insecurity. It’s a little strange how the script has flipped.

“She’s a high ranking MLA member, she probably has some crazy strong quirk. I’m quirkless. I dunno. I guess I’m scared you’ll drop me for someone like her. Like I said, it’s dumb.”

He doesn’t speak for a moment. You sit there, listening to his heartbeat and matching your breathing to his. Then he speaks.

“Your emotions aren’t dumb. It’s okay that you’re feeling this way. Thank you for telling me.” He’s parroting you, you realize; this is what you tell him every time he comes to you for comfort when he’s gotten in a mood. You feel a little fuzzy, warmth flooding your chest. “But I think we both know they’re irrational.”

“Tomura… I—”

“I’m not interested in some lame-ass NPC,” he interrupts, no hesitation and entirely sincere. He doesn’t even need to think about it. “You’re my player two, my endgame. The only thing in this world worth protecting. You really think that secretary can hold a candle to you? I didn’t even notice her. Why would I when you’re here?”

You can’t help it, you surge upward and kiss him, just as passionately as he had you mere moments before. His right hand traces up your spine to find the back of your neck and pull you closer, sending a thrill through your body as your own arms tighten around him.

“Oi! Horndogs! Get a damn room, don’t make us see that!”

You break away at Dabi’s words, panting slightly, and if the sincerity of Tomura’s little rant hadn’t convinced you that his words were true, the look of utter adoration he’s regarding you with would have.

[macdensex]

even if rcg didnt mean to dennis’s slow progression into what he becomes is honestly pretty good writing and even realistic. they all act different at the beginning versus now of course and i could like analyze all of them bc its not just dennis who’s changed. however i think throughout all the changes each character has made (intentional through rcg or not but i doubt its intentional) dennis’s progression - like i stated earlier - is the most realistic. the story starts out when the gang is in their late 20s - u can tell dennis has issues but ultimately he seems more in touch and “there” than later on. i think this is normal considering his age at the beginning. this is also before frank showed up or barbara was involved in the story, so keep that in mind. as the story progresses, in my opinion, we see dennis pull back and kind of warp into what dennis is into at least season 14 and 15. i think a lot of things caused this but the most important one is trauma bonding. almost 20 years have passed since the first episode and if the gang wasn’t trauma bonded before (i think they were), they definitely are now. i think as time progressed and MANY things happened (frank coming back, realizing he’s not his bio father, realizing mac is actually gay and gay for him, frank going from homophobic to getting it, even barbara dying despite dennis’s “reaction” or lack thereof, etc.) it really shaped dennis into the dennis we see in s14/15 and before. s16 is interesting though because it lowkey seems like dennis is changing. not necessarily in a big way, but a way we haven’t seen yet. the whole johnny thing is a HUGE can of worms i wont go into, but that was wild. dtamhd is also interesting because what we see, in my opinion, is progression. he still has to be in control, but there’s ways he copes with it that the viewer hasnt seen before so it really give you a diff perspective. i think that those people are right, in s16 there is a dennis shift and it’s really interesting! i hope they keep it up in the last seasons! but i dont think hes going to magically become more open or how he was at the beginning of the show. why would he? hes in his 40s, almost 50 and he’s pushed himself into this kind of hole that he’s stuck in (as is rest of the gang, but this isnt about all the gang ive been typing too much as it is) & i dont think theres any way to go back to the way you thought and acted in your 20s. ive rambled on for long enough but

tl;dr dennis is extremely fucked up & traumatized and there is an explanation for his character “growth” and wanting to see him act how he did in his 20s isnt his problem or rcgs bc their writing doesnt suck ass like most of yalls 👍

nobody gets it nobody understands

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

I come here for words of wisdom. Every time I read a fanfic about Bakugou being a fuckboy I normally laugh it off because it sounds ridiculous in my mind, although sharing this thought with other people made me realize that some actually think he might be in the future???? So, I want your honest opinion. Not just about that, but I'd genuinely love to know your input on how Bakugou would be in his late-teens, early adulthood, before (for the sake of it) meeting X and settling. Would he sleep around? Would he try for a relationship and fail? What would fail? What would make him settle? Would he really just focus on hero work and that's it? So. Many. Questions.

Hope everything is going great for you. I haven't been on tumblr much (am I the only one noticing the insane wave of wattpad writing here??? p.o.v. and all??????) but I've been following your stuff, and as always, it's incredible. 💞💕

PLS - okay this is so nice to see bc i’ve actually been taking a break from tumblr/writing for the past month. (mental refresh u kno?) aND YESTERDAY I CAME BACK AND SCROLLED THRU MY DASH AND SAW WATTPAD STUFF JUST LIKE YOU SAID.

i was shocked. aghast. completely bewildered. pls i even caved and searched up bakugou fics just to see if everyone else is treating him like that,, and like i dont even know why i did that, because ofc i knew the answer was gonna be yes!! the answer is always yes !!! like i just saw so many fics of him as such a “ooo daddy dom badboy bakugou 🥴🥴” and like why???? bakugou is such a frickin nerd?? and thats sooooooo funny?? whY STRIP HIM OF HIS COMEDIC POTENTIAL ???

but yes yes specifically about bakugou being a fuckboy..... yeah i have no idea where the fuck they get that from. like- did we watch the same show???? sex and especially being naked are such vulnerable things at their core, and they rlly think Mr. Anti-Vulnerability is gonna be the one to sleep around??? to willingly put himself into a vulnerable situation time and time again?? no. pls. c’mon y’all. sometimes i think even todoroki would be more likely.

and just- to sleep around you have to be very comfortable showing interest in other people, over and over and over again. and i just- bakugou doesn’t even admit that his friends are his friends???? and somehow they think that suddenly he’s gonna go around telling people “hey. i like you. and by admitting that to you, i am therefore giving you a slight bit of power over me.”

i- no. he’d never. period, end of story. he would rather be fuckin’ dead. so the answer is no, as he currently is, i cannot for the life of me see why he’d ever become a fuckboy. he just doesn’t have it in him lmaoooooo

ooo but about the what makes him settle question- THANK YOU IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT IT.

okay so how i see it, is bakugou is probably totally and completely fine being alone up until his like mid 20’s. sure he thinks maybe it’d be nice to have somebody, but he works so hard that it’s always a fleeting feeling. but then he gets a little older, settles into his spot on the rankings (#3 btw, im soRRY kats but its the truth!!) and watches all his friends get into meaningful relationships. and then, a few more years down the line (think late 20’s/ early 30’s) he’ll be sitting back and being like “shit. i don’t have anybody like that. somebody who’s just for me. who’d pick me first always.”

and i think that is what he wants most of all. i mean, he’s clearly chock-full of insecurities related to that idea, and i cant imagine him ever settling without that need being fufilled. like, i think eventually he’ll probably abandon the idea of being #1 hero, but he’ll still keep that dream of being #1 somehow. so once he finds somebody that always has his back, always puts up with his shit and still loves him at the end of it?? still looks at him with stars in their eyes day after day??? pls. mans is putty and will never even dream of leaving

but that being said- i dont think he’s gonna find The One on first try. i think he’ll be aiming for that, but i cant see it working out. even when he starts seriously dating around his mid 20s, i think he’ll still be too caught up with his hero work. it’ll take him a good few years and one/two failed relationships to finally find a balance that works for him and whoever he ends up with

@i-need-air tysm for asking,,,, clearly i have a lot of thoughts and i love him sm so this was so fun!!!!!! i loved this ask ty!!!!