#Henri is the real star here since he has to actually sing and dance

[offspring-of-calliope]

Oneshot #3: Jojo’s prayers

Description: Jojo's been acting strange lately and Elmer wants to find out what's wrong. (Pairing: Jelmer; canon era)

words: 1727

warnings: internalized homophobia, paired with homophobia triggered by religion - I am not religious myself, so I hope I got nothing too wrong and I offended no one (if I did, I'm sorry and feel free to tell me)

A/N: I don't really know what to say to this but I got this idea and I couldn't help but write it down because I haven't really seen any fics about the Jojo/Elmer pairing. If you have wishes or complaints or opinions on this, feel free to comment (a comment would actually be really nice because I'm still in the process of figuring out how to write in English).

I hope you enjoy,

Sincerely, me,

Lélodie

-----

Usually, Elmer slept at home with his brothers but since two of them had caught a cold, he was staying at the lodging house to prevent getting sick as well. Right now, he was sharing a bed with Albert. The redhead normally shared his bed with Race but Race had been planning to stay over at Brooklyn for a few days anyway.

The only problem was that Albert really liked to touch while sleeping. Not that Elmer hated touches but he found it hard to fall asleep when Al's arm was nearly suffocating his chest. He contemplated waking the redhead up, however, he didn't want to disturb him while he was peacefully sleeping.

Elmer sighed and tried to turn around a bit so that he could breathe better. In the dark, he could recognize the outlines of Jojo's bed that was right beside the one he shared with Al. Jojo was an unusual guest as well. He was staying with the nun's that raised him most of the time but lately he simply didn't seem to want to return to them. He had become strangely quiet in general, Elmer had noticed.

Now, however, Elmer could hear him talk. He nearly missed it, because it was more of a murmur but after he concentrated really hard, he noticed that Jojo was talking to himself in Spanish. Was he sleep talking? In this moment, Elmer wished to be able to understand Spanish. But with his brain half asleep he even had hard times understanding English.

Curiosity was growing inside him. What would Jojo say if he wasn't able to control his brain-to-mouth filter? Elmer nearly groaned. He should stop thinking about Jojo as much as he did the last few months he had realized that maybe – just maybe – he felt more for the boy than he had originally intended to. But it wasn't his fault that Jojo's smile was addictive and his unpredictable bluntness nothing less than charming.

A few moments passed and Elmer tried to come up with the courage to softly call out to Jojo. On the one hand, he didn't know if Jojo was truly asleep and on the other hand, he wasn't even sure what he wanted to say.

But he hadn't gotten the chance to raise his voice before Henry was calling from the opposite wall. “Quiet! Some people's tryin' ta sleep.” A dump noise – he had even thrown a pillow in Jojo's direction.

“Perdón,” Jojo whispered back. So he had been awake then.

-

The next night, Elmer had trouble sleeping again but that wasn't Albert's fault. Instead, his head was spinning because he was thinking about the question if he should follow Jojo or not. He had heard the other boy getting up a few minutes ago and was worried. Jojo had seemed very pensive all day and hadn't even cracked a smile at Race and Albert's shenanigans at the circulation gate. Elmer missed his smile. But he didn't want to risk invading Jojo's privacy by kind-of-stalking him.

Once again, he didn't even get the chance to do anything any more. Albert was turning around in his sleep, throwing his arm over Elmer's chest, his leg over Elmer's and rested his head on his shoulder. Elmer laughed a little at the snoring noise that Al let out. Then he decided to just ask Jojo what was wrong in the morning.

-

According to Jojo, everything was alright. That didn't mean that Elmer believed him. And so he tried to untangle himself from Albert as gently as possible when Jojo once again snuck out at night. He found him kneeling next to the door outside, cradling something in his hands that looked oddly like a cross.

“What's you doing here?” Jojo looked at him with an indescribable expression on his face. Was he angry? Confused? Surprised? Elmer couldn't really decipher it.

A blush spread over his face. “I was worried an' wanted to see if ya were in trouble.”

“I's not in trouble, thanks. Ya can go back -”

“Why's you praying? I mean, I know that's not so strange but I's never seen you pray before.” At least, Elmer suspected that Jojo was praying, considering his kneeling position and the cross between his fingers.

“I -”, Jojo began, not quite sure what to say. Silence. Elmer didn't dare to put pressure on his friend and so he simply sat down next to him, kicking around a little stone with his feet. After a while, Jojo asked: “Can I be honest with you?”

Elmer didn't know if he should be surprised or hurt. “Of course ya can. You can trust me. I thought ya knew that.”

“I do,” Jojo exclaimed and for a moment it seemed as if he wanted to grab Elmer's hand but eventually, he decided against it. “It's just... I haven't talked ta anyone 'bout this. Not even Jack.”

“It's alright. Ya don't have ta tell me if you's not ready, Jojo.” Elmer smiled at him and his heart fluttered when he saw Jojo cracking a small smile as well.

“You's always so patient, it's annoying. I mean, not annoying annoying but cute annoying.” Jojo sighed. Then, the small smile was gone. “I have ta tell anyone 'bout this before I explode. So. Here it goes. Ya know, next to the convent, there's a house an' there was living a man who died a while ago. An' some day, I heard the nuns talkin' an' they was sayin' that the man was... a queer. An' they seemed so disappointed an' so I talked to another nun 'bout it an' she told me that it's not really bad if you's likin' boys if you's a boy. But actin' on it's sinning.” Jojo fiddled with the cross in his hands. “I don't wanna disappoint God, ya know? He has given me so much – all of you boys an' I know that there's people who have it better than we does but... I wouldn't wanna loose what I have now.”

Elmer wanted to punch himself in the stomach so that the fluttering would end.

“So I apologized and I prayed for His forgiveness. Like I's said, I don't wanna disappoint Him. But...” A deep breath. “I can't not act on it any more. Ya know what I wanna say?” Jojo didn't even dare looking Elmer in the eyes, instead fixating the street with his gaze.

Elmer felt like the breath was knocked out of his body. Had Jojo really just told him what he thought he did? “Would ya say that Racer's a disappointment?”

Confused, Jojo looked up at him, still not quite meeting his eyes. “Why would I...? Race's a bit of a danger to himself most of the time but no, he's not a disappointment. But did ya realize what I just -”

“Why do ya think Spot's letting a 'Hattan newsie stay over this long?”

It took a while but soon, realisation dawned on Jojo's face. He still seemed to be at a loss of words, though, so Elmer kept on talking: “You's not alone, Jojo. Many of the other boys fancy another boy but that doesn't make them any less worth of God's love, does it? They don't hurt anyone. They's spreading love and acceptance. That's a good thing, don't ya think?” Hesitantly, Elmer reached over and began to rub Jojo's back. Carefully, as if the other boy would break under his touch. And indeed – Jojo didn't break but Elmer could feel him slightly trembling.

As he was looking more closely, he could even see tears glistening in the corners of Jojo's eyes. “Oh, Jojo,” Elmer sighed and moved to wrap his arms fully around the other boy but Jojo suddenly leaned away from his touch.

“I's not... You's right but that doesn't mean that it's alright if I... Ya know?” Jojo stuttered a bit, more and more tears forming in his eyes.

“It's only a hug, Jojo. A hug's not a crime and it's not actin' on somethin' an' sinning,” Elmer said but he leaned a little bit away from Jojo to give him the space he needed.

“I know. But with you... it wouldn't be only a hug with you, Elmer. You understand?”

Elmer did understand. It took everything in his power not to stand up, run around, sing and hug the world. Jojo liked him back! Maybe it wouldn't be easy in the beginning but maybe... just maybe they could make it work. “I understand,” he answered, a little out of breath and smiling once again. “Just so ya know... For me, it also wouldn't be only a hug. But it's alright. I'll just sit here. Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you.” The light of the stars that were hiding behind a cloud until now was illuminating Jojo's face, framing his smile and dancing over his head, making him look like either an angel or a saint. Elmer couldn't have been more happy than in this moment.

-

The next night, a small voice startled him. “Elmer?���

Elmer turned around, glad that Albert hadn't already begun to cuddle him. He was met with Jojo's face, only centimetres away from his. “Yes?”

“Can ya... Can ya hold me while I's sleeping?” Jojo seemed so unusually unsure although he had been his smiley self all day again.

Elmer couldn't help but ask cautiously. “What does God say to this?”

Only now did Elmer realize that Jojo was fiddling with the cross from the day before in his hands. “I... asked him to tell me what's right in my situation. An'... An' then the stars were shinin' down on you an'... I think that's a sign. That maybe he isn't mad at me.”

Elmer chuckled. “Nobody could stay mad at ya for long, Jojo.”

“I knows, I's a real sunshine, ain't I?” Jojo laughed.

From the opposite wall, they could hear Henry murmur: “What's a boy gotta do to make you shut up?”

“Sorry, Henry. We'll be more quiet now,” Elmer apologised. Then, he turned back to Jojo. “Go on, I'll be with ya in a second.”

-

“Elmer?”

“Yes?”

“I's glad I got ya.”

“I's glad I got ya, too.”

[365days365movies]

March 18, 2021: The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985) (Part One)

Look, it’s Woody Allen again! Why is this elephant here?

Ah, right. The documentary on HBO, which I have not watched since I last talked about Woody Allen? Why? Well, from what I’ve heard, it’s not the most accurate documentary, and has a bit of bias loaded into it. And again, I don’t know nearly enough about the whole situation, but...I’m also not interested in potentially biased accounts. So, I’ll take the time to educate myself.

Shame that I rarely have any time, then.

Yeah, I just made one of the oldest jokes on the internet ever. Sue me. SUE ME I DARE YOU

You may be asking, then, why am I doing the whole movie thing? Well, in truth, this is a form of escapism for me. I mean, who doesn’t like sitting down and watching a good movie, putting away your worldly cares for about 2 hours so that you can dive into another world entirely? I mean, the worlds that’ve been built by film over the last century never ceases to amaze me.

From Avatar’s Pandora to Mustafar in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, to the Great Barrier Reef in Finding Nemo, or the world of Monsters, Inc. There are so many unique worlds, not to mention the characters who inhabit them, and the directors and filmmakers who craft and show them. I just love movies, honestly. Which I could literally be in the world of some of them, even for just 2 hours.

But enough of that, what’s this film about? Eh, whatever, LET’S JUST GET INTO IT! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We’re brought in on “Cheek to Cheek”, as sung by Fred Astaire, which is, not gonna lie, a guilty pleasure song of mine that I find myself singing in quiet moments. This leads us to a movie poster for the film, The Purple Rose of Cairo, which is being admired by Cecilia (Mia...Farrow). Ohhhhh.

You may remember Mrs. Farrow from her eponymous voice role in The Last Unicorn, which was made a few years before this film. And she’s also known for Rosemary’s Baby, The Great Gatsby, and...her marriage to Woody Allen, which ended in divorce and a massive lawsuit. Said lawsuit involved Farrow’s accusation of sexual abuse to their adopted daughter, Dylan. And that’s what the HBO documentary is about!

WOW. AWKWARD. Apparently, the two got married in 1980, and made thirteen films together, this one included. Which seems both awkward, and like straight-up nepotism, but whatever. Tim Burton did the same thing with Helena Bonham Carter, so whatever; it’s not unprecedented, is what I’m saying. Back to the movie, though.

Cecilia is a waitress, along with her sister (played by Stephanie Farrow, Mia’s actual sister). She’s new at the job, and not great at it. But, her and her sister still have nice conversations about films, as Cecilia’s quite the cinephile. After work, Cecilia meets her husband Monk (Danny Aiello), an abusive gambler who’s unemployed and not doing much about it. It’s the middle of the Great Depression, and things are hard all over. Monk seems to handle this by playing dice, and not particularly well.

Cecilia unsuccessfully tries to get Monk to see the newest movie with her, so she goes to see it alone that night. The film itself is a comedy about a rich Manhattanite named Henry (Edward Herrmann), alongside his wife Rita (Deborah Rush) and friend Jason (John Wood). They take a trip to Cairo, where they meet a young archaeologist named Tom Baxter (Jeff Daniels), who’s there to seek the mythical Purple Rose of Cairo. They invite him back to New York with them, and he accepts. There, he falls in love with Kitty Haynes (Karen Ackers), a singer at the Copacabana.

Cecilia is head over heels in love with the movie itself, and dreams about it at work, before going to see it again with her sister. They go to an early showing, and when she comes home, Monk’s drunk and spending time with a woman named Olga. Understandably enraged by this, Cecilia packs up her belongings to move out. Monk tries to get her to stay, the abusive cheating douchebag that he is. She notes that he hits her, and he defends his actions. Monk’s a real piece of shit. And she leaves, despite his absolute shit. God, I hope she stays away.

Unfortunately, she’s essentially forced to come back to the apartment that night, and returns to work as well. But not for long, as she’s basically immediately fired. Now jobless and stuck in an extremely shitty marriage, she has nowhere to go...except for the movies. And she goes back over...and over...and over again, five times in a row that day.

But the seventh time she sees the movie...something happens. Something fascinatingly unusual. The film, specifically Tom Baxter himself, watches her back.

Holy shit, that’s awesome! Tom Baxter notices Cecilia in the audience, and before his “madcap Manhattan weekend” is set to begin, Tom notes that she must really love this movie, and also that he’s noticed her all 6 previous times she’s seen the film. And then...he leaves. He leaves the movie!

He turns to color, and he jumps out of the screen to sweep Cecilia off of her feet. And EVERYBODY sees this, including the people IN the movie and in the theatre. I also love the fact that as soon as he turns to color, a woman faints, which is super fucking funny to me for some reason. Tom runs off with Cecilia, free after 2,000 monotonous performances.

Now that Tom’s met Cecilia, he’s never going back. The audience and the film stars are in complete disarray, and without Tom present, the movie can’t go forward, and the film characters descend into arguments about whose movie this actually is. It’s uh...it’s fucking hilarious, actually.

The enthusiastic Tom Baxter goes with Cecilia to a closed amusement park, where Cecilia once again expresses confusion at the whole affair. He notes that she’s been looking at her with every one of his performances, although she doesn’t understand why. But he calls her fetching, and is clearly quite smitten with her. And she appears to be returning that affection.

When Tom tells her that Cecilia is in love with him, she notes that she’s married. Still, he asks her to meet him that night at the amusement park. After all, how many times does a movie character leave a movie to meet somebody? Not an everyday occurrence.

Meanwhile, the film characters continue to be freaking the fuck out. The Countess (Zoe Caldwell) and Larry Wilde (Van Johnson) show up as well. The audience appears to be enjoying this less than I am, and they start to backtalk the movie, calling it boring. The movie backtalks the audience right back, and it continues to be hilarious.

Eventually, this becomes an attraction in and of itself. They suggest turning the movie off, but that risks stranding Tom Baxter outside. It also means that the film characters wouldn’t exist, which Henry is EXTREMELY upset about. As the news arrives to cover the small theatre’s anomaly, the people in the film itself start to play pinochle, as a few people linger around to watch and interact with the characters. The theatre manager (Irving Metzman) calls the production company, RKO, and they get on the phone with a Gil Shepherd.

Meanwhile, Cecilia manages to get out of the house, despite Monk trying to keep her there to massage his back, the absolute douchebag. She goes and meets Tom, and they go dancing together. This is just as the actor who plays Tom, Gil Shepherd (Jeff Daniels) is called by RKO while he’s at a party. Gil seems like kind of a typical Hollywood jerk, but he’s interrupted by an agent, who tells him that they need to get control of...well, whatever the hell this is.

Apparently, RKO is telling Gil that if he can’t get “his creation” under control, then he’ll essentially be blacklisted, especially considering that there’s no telling what Tom’s doing out there. And what Tom is doing is attempting to pay for a meal with Cecilia, only to find that his money isn’t real money. The two dine-and-dash, and they escape in a car back to the amusement park. 

There, the two kiss, with Tom expecting the screen to fade out in preparation for them to make love. He’s surprised when it doesn’t happen, and it’s neat to see his adjustment to the world outside of films. He wants to continue with the lovemaking, but she’s still faithful to her husband. He stays at the park, and she returns home, where she still hasn’t told Monk about her new unemployment status.

The next morning, Gil and co. arrive at the small New Jersey town, and Gil ends up running into Cecilia, who confuses him for Tom. Gil realizes exactly what’s going on, and reveals who he is to her. The two start to talk, and Cecilia just fangirls EVERWHERE. She agrees to take him to meet his character.

Great place to pause, I think! See you in Part Two!

[rayveewrites]

So as a simultaneous end of the year/ completion of Golden Echoes/ launch of Buried Gold celebration, I thought it would be neat to go through every chapter and post my favourite line/phrase/sentence/paragraph/etc from each. Why? Is this a genuine celebration? Do I think I’m funny and laugh at my own jokes? Am I actually just procrastinating? Yes. (Very obviously spoilers for the entire fic.)

Prologue: Lost  Darkness, pierced by the faint glow of sunlight through the holes in the ceiling. The sound of dripping water, pooling in the centre of the room.

Prologue: Found It remembered a time of life and colour, when it danced and played and sang, when children flocked around him and fed off its happiness and energy and gave him their own. Would it ever experience that again?

Prologue: Name  Old, brittle bones grinded. Rusted metal sounded against the tiled floor. Colourless eyes softly glowed silver.

Returned ...whoever thought it was a good idea to create a horror attraction out of the actual murders of actual children needed to have their heads readjusted. Forcefully. With a mask full of crossbeams and wires.

Exploration ...servos and circuits, they had been at this location for an hour and Freddy was already having a terrible day. Also it was 10 AM. The location operated at night. Why.

Darkness  So young, and left without a voice. I ask you now to make your choice. Clean the tiles of blood and tears? Or let them suffer with their fears?

Void He called up a memory, of turquoise eyes and golden fur, of whispers in the night that meant nothing and everything, of a feeling of happiness, that nothing would ever change, because the world was already perfect. 

Balloons Of course this place has wonky physics.

JJ “So let me get this straight. A potentially dangerous supernatural rabbit wants me to take a cryptic message to a potentially dangerous animatronic rabbit, and then somehow convince the other potentially dangerous animatronic rabbit and his potentially dangerous animatronic friends that the first potentially dangerous animatronic rabbit is not, in fact, the definitely dangerous child-murdering serial killer who’s...somewhere else. Have I got all that?”

Rabbit Part of his mouth twitched, as if he was trying to make a facial expression, but couldn't. 

Arcade The Void was not cooperating.

Parts Things had always seemed much brighter when they were two.

Guard Whatever came to one or the other's mind, in the breaks between people coming through and Sam playing creepy sounds over the speakers because 'a couple of teenagers are smooching on cam six, do they you realize I can see you, jesus christ, why are you even snogging in a horror attraction anyway, I really don't get the appeal, I swear to god-' or something along those lines, anyway.

Adventure Peace wasn't a feeling the ghost had had for a very long time.

Notes ...it had been a handful of wild yellow daisies a little girl had found, and he’d woven them into a ‘flower crown’ (actually more of a flower bracelet- the girl had picked as many as she could hold, but children had small hands) and put it on Fredbear’s hat when his partner wasn’t looking. Fredbear had promptly worn it all that night and the next day, daisies and all. Spring hadn’t been sure if he’d noticed or not, but either way, it had been very cute.

Cupcakes If the kid wanted a dinosaur, the kid should get a dinosaur, as far as he was concerned. Clothes were clothes. Why did people kick up such a stink about it sometimes?

Tapes “Uh, hello? Hello, hello! Uh, there’s been a slight change of company policy concerning use of the suits. Um, don’t.” “Oh gee,” JJ muttered, “imagine. It’s almost as if they were giant metal deathtraps.”

Talk ...she didn’t need to understand every aspect of Springtrap's life. That was Springtrap’s job, and he was apparently terrible at it.

Performance “It smells like something crawled in there and died.” 

Gold Fredbear had been Springtrap’s heart and soul; as much as he loved the children and gave each performance his all, his real reason for living was in the bear who sang beside him. Springtrap remembered singing on stage, a guitar in his hands and love in his soul. He remembered stolen kisses in the night, waltzing on cool tiles with music nobody else could hear. He remembered stealing Fredbear’s hat dozens of times, running off wearing it and giggling like a small child himself. He remembered quiet nights, when the only sounds were his guitar and Fred’s soft humming, sometimes the same tune, sometimes not, but neither of them ever cared. He remembered curling up together, watching stars twinkle in the night sky beyond the walls of the little diner, and truly believing that the time they had together was infinite. 

Stage He was holding something. He looked down, opened his hand and saw a gleaming purple microphone, accented with gold. It had been years, decades, since he had last seen it, but he recognized it. He knew what it meant. "Even after everything, I’m still with you." 

[Note: this is also the chapter that contained Springtrap’s poem. I’m quite proud of that one, despite how much of a pain it was to write. So, honourable mention]

Notes [Note: wait, crud, there’s two chapters named Notes? I’m gonna have to change one of those later.]

Maybe she just needed to hit something.

Knife [Note: I forgot to actually title this one in AO3. Welp. Better fix that later]

It was slightly strange, a Freddy’s-related crime that was just… basic burglary. It was always the unusual crimes that happened- murder, manslaughter, OSHA violations (so many OSHA violations). But theft? That was new.

Shadows

They lapsed back into silence for a moment. “So, this place… is it real?” In a fashion. It was created from your memories of what is gone. “So… if Fredbear isn’t here…” He is unreachable. “Where?” I cannot tell you. “You don’t know, do you.” The Shadow-Bear was silent, telling Springtrap all he needed to know. 

Puppet RWQ… Yes? Stop tormenting the rabbit. You’re no fun. Puppet? She hissed at the purple bear. Stop tormenting the rabbit. “And why would I listen to you?” Because, Shadow Freddy said as the Puppet was slowly levitated up into the air, all four limbs flailing, he’s needed. And also, you are being, as Springtrap so eloquently called RWQ earlier, an asshole.

Voice Specifically, it was more a mixture of blood, rotting flesh, and whatever other bodily fluids lingered in William Afton’s partially mummified decomposing head and was accessible via Springtrap’s mouth, without opening said mouth to the point where someone would notice said partially mummified decomposing head.  [Or] Springtrap was displaying remarkable self-restraint. First, he hadn’t punched the Puppet in the face for threatening his friend’s life. Then, he hadn’t punched the Puppet in the face for implying he had a problem with the golden bear. Now, he wasn’t squeezing the life out of JJ in a hug.

Ghosts “No. The thing is, I’ve never had a name I felt truly fit before it. I can’t be Bonnie any more; the Classic model has taken that name, and he is welcome to have it. Spring Bonnie was the name the Man Behind the Slaughter used; I never truly referred to myself with it. Some employees called me Golden Bonnie, to fit with the whispers of a Golden Freddy, but that was never truly a name either, although I suppose I could have gotten used to it eventually. But Springtrap? It lets me keep my past, and it lets me have a future. Sure, it’s a little odd, but I don’t mind. I kind of like it. It’s unique.”

Humans Oh, Spring has a key. That explains where the spare went! When did he get that? Jake’s been looking for it for ages. Not that it’s my business. He says he technically works here, so it’s not stealing. Cheeky. He’s right though.

Henry “I’m not sure whether I should be pissed about the weird way he’s been constructed, or impressed he hasn’t collapsed yet. What the hell is holding him togeth- wait what the hell is that.” Springtrap winced. He knew he should’ve warned them beforehand, but he still tended to hide the rotting corpse. It was instinctive, a sort of habit- born from the fear he would be scrapped is the workers found out, and increased by the fact he was being blamed for murder.

Sound No matter how bad Springtrap’s eyesight could get, no matter how often his joints locked up, Springtrap had always had his rabbit hearing. It had saved his life several times, back when the Classics were hunting him. He had figured out a basic method of echolocation for when his eyes were useless. He relied on his ears, and now they were letting him down for the first time in his life. It scared him.

Doors “Freddy! We have a problem!”

Attack He did. He needed a hand. God, it hurt. Where was his arm? Was that his arm? No, it couldn’t be. He was gold. Not green. Or maybe it was. It was hard to think. Thinking. What a strange concept. The Greeks had invented thinking, hadn't they? Why would they do that?

Rest There were voices. Voices. His voicebox had lungs. His lungs were in his spine. His spine was being held together by lungs. His spine attached to his legs. He had no legs. He heard voices. He couldn’t hear. The grass was nice. Cool. Soft. Green. Like his eyes. Not like his eyes. Like his fur. He had no fur. Like his plush. His plush was green. Or gold. Or red. Or brown. He couldn’t remember which. Maybe it was all of them There was a breeze. It was nice. Warm. Hot. It was sunny. The sun was a star. He liked stars.  Stars meant Fredbear. And dancing. Where were his legs? He wanted to dance with the stars. Or with Fredbear. Fredbear. His Fredbear. He missed Fredbear.

Epilogue: Box Smeared down the plaster, it started about six feet up, and grew thicker toward the ground. It looked like Springtrap, or the Purple Guy, had slid down the wall until they were sitting. The tile beneath was stained heavily, and Freddy marvelled at how much blood was in a human body.

Epilogue: Opening ... no killing. That was the new rule. It was a strange one, for Master, but he supposed Master knew what he was talking about. He had changed, too; he had scratched behind his ears a couple days ago and it had felt so good.

Epilogue: Spark He remembered a time of life and colour, when he danced and played and sang, when children flocked around him and fed off his happiness and energy and gave him their own. He would experience that again.

[papermoonloveslucy]

Gene Kelly... An American in Pasadena

March 13, 1978

Directed by Marty Passetta ~ Written by Buz Kohan ~ Choreography by Gene Kelly

The title puns on Kelly’s 1951 film An American in Paris and where the special was taped (and where Kelly made his home) Pasadena, California. 

The city of Pasadena is known for hosting the annual Rose Bowl football game and Tournament of Roses Parade. In addition, Pasadena is also home to many cultural institutions, including the Pasadena Playhouse, Pasadena Symphony,  and the Ambassador Auditorium. 

Featuring Lucille Ball, Frank Sinatra, Gloria De Haven, Kathryn Grayson, Betty Garrett, Cyd Charisse, Cindy Williams, Liza Minnelli, and Janet Leigh. Natalie Wood was scheduled to appear on the show, but had to back out at the last minute. Also in the cast is Bridget Kelly, his daughter, and specialty dancer Alex Romero.

Gene Kelly was an Oscar-winning performer, choreographer, and director who did four films with Lucille Ball between 1943 and 1967.

DuBarry Was A Lady (1943) 

Thousands Cheer (1943) also with Gloria DeHaven & Kathryn Grayson

Ziegfeld Follies (1945) also with Cyd Charisse & Kathryn Grayson

A Guide For the Married Man (1967) directed by Gene Kelly

A Hollywood legend for his effortless dancing, Kelly died in 1996 at age 83.

The special integrated film clips from some of Kelly’s most popular films, including Brigadoon (which inspired “Lucy Goes To Scotland”) and Singin’ in the Rain (which was performed in “The Hollywood Unemployment Follies”). 

In an interview about directing the special, Marty Pasetta described Kelly as a “workhorse.”

The 60-minute special was taped at Pasadena College In February 1978 and aired March 13th on CBS. It was a black-tie fundraiser for a Los Angeles Charity. 

Coincidentally, the special aired on a Monday night, just like nearly all of Lucille Ball’s new programs.

The special opens with exterior footage of the theatre with dancer’s dressed as in An American in Paris, as well as Jerry, the cartoon mouse Kelly danced with in Anchors Aweigh (1944) as some of the formally attired audience looks on.

Since the show aired a week before St. Patrick’s Day, Kelly enters down the theatre aisle leading a bagpiper band and wearing an emerald green top hat. 

Lucy is discovered in the audience, shouting for Arthur Godfrey (who was not in attendance).  On March 27, 1978, Lucille Ball and Arthur Godfrey both participated in “CBS On The Air” representing Monday nights in the week-long celebration of their first five decades.

On the special, Kelly and Ball recreate the Cole Porter song “Friendship” from their film Du Barry Was A Lady.

In the film, however, the song was a trio with Red Skelton. 

Lucy strips off her skirt showing of her legs for the number. 

“Friendship! Friendhsip! Just the perfect blendship!”

Lucille Ball also sang the song (with Vivian Vance) on her television show “I Love Lucy” in the episode “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3). While the song is now closely associated with the 1934 musical Anything Goes, it was actually written for Ethel Merman and Burt Lahr to sing on Broadway in DuBarry Was a Lady (1939). Lucy played Merman’s role in the 1943 movie version of DuBarry with Red Skelton and Gene Kelly. When Lucy and Ethel perform it here, she repeats some of the same choreography she did in the film. Merman, unhappy that Lucy took her role in DuBarry and was now singing ‘her’ song on national television, insisted that “Friendship” be inserted into a 1954 TV version of Anything Goes starring Burt Lahr that she did just six months later. The song has remained in Anything Goes ever since. The song has been performed as both a duo and a trio.  

LUCY, THE KELLY GIRL

The first time Gene Kelly shared the small screen with Lucy (as well as Desi and Cyd Charisse) was for the 30th Anniversary of MGM on “Toast of the Town” hosted by Ed Sullivan. It was aired on Valentine’s Day 1954. 

Lucy and Kelly next turned up on the same TV show with “Jackie Gleason's 51st Birthday Celebration” in February 1967. 

Gene Kelly was a presenter at the 1968 Emmy Awards where Lucille Ball won for Best Actress in a Comedy Show. It was aired on NBC. 

Lucy and her husband Gary were spotted in the audience in “Ol’ Blue Eyes is Back”, a 1973 Frank Sinatra special with special guest Gene Kelly. Lucille Ball did not perform or speak. The show was nominated for two Emmy Awards and was issued on DVD. 

In 1976, Lucille Ball and Gene Kelly were both part of a four and a half hour extravaganza celebrating 50 years of the peacock network.

That same year, Lucy and Kelly were both on the dais for “The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast: Danny Thomas” another NBC outing for Lucy.   

Also in March 1978, the same year as “An American in Pasadena”, Lucy, Sinatra, and Kelly participated in NBC’s “A Tribute to Mr. Television Milton Berle”.  

Just after the turn of the year 1980, Lucille Ball and Gene Kelly are a few of the many guests of Frank Sinatra celebrating his 64th birthday and 40th year in show business. Taped at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas it aired on...NBC!

In 1980, after several years of moonlighting at the peacock network, Lucille Ball finally signed a contract with NBC. To announce her change in networks, NBC produced the 90-minute special “Lucy Moves To NBC” which featured many of the NBC stars and special guests, including Gene Kelly.  

At a Hollywood restaurant, Lucy and Gale Gordon encounter Gene Kelly.

Gloria DeHaven was also in the special in a show-within-the-show sitcom segment titled “The Music Mart” performing opposite Gene Kelly’s friend and co-star Donald O’Connor. Lucy has a cameo as Sister Hitchcock, a character named for director Alfred Hitchcock, who often did cameos in his own films. 

In 1985, Lucille Ball joined Cyd Charisse, Janet Leigh, and Frank Sinatra for “The Friars Club Presents a Salute to Gene Kelly” on NBC. Also in attendance was Natalie Wood, who backed out of “An American in Pasadena” as well as fellow Hollywood hoofer, Fred Astaire. 

PASADENA POTPOURRI 

In the 1960 film The Facts of Life, Kitty (Lucille Ball) and Larry (Bob Hope) are two friends from suburban Pasadena embarking on a flirtation.

The exterior shots of the Beardsley home in the 1968 Lucille Ball / Henry Fonda film Yours, Mine & Ours is located in Pasadena, California. Coincidentally, the 2005 remake was filmed at different home in Pasadena.

In “Lucy and the Soap Opera” (TLS S4;E19) the gardener (a heavily disguised Lucy Carmichael) says he has a family of 97 with cousins in Pasadena, Glendale, Rodondo Beach, Cucamonga, and 'Horrywood’ (“a little suburb between Anaheim and Azusa”). Later, disguised a the little old lady, Lucy repeats the same list of cities.

In “Lucy and the Ex-Con” (HL S1;E15) Lucy and Wally Cox go undercover as typical little old ladies named Abigail Throckmorton and Lydia Perkins. Cox adds “of the Pasadena Perkins’.”  This played on the tremendously popular 1964 song “Little Old Lady From Pasadena” by Jan and Dean.

In a 1970 episode of “Here’s Lucy,” guest star Liberace tries on his light-up jacket and says “This’ll really turn them on in Pasadena!”  He could be referring to his senior citizen female fans - the “little old ladies from Pasadena” - as the song says. 

The Emmy Awards were often hosted at the Pasadena Civic Auditorium. In 1981, Lucille Ball was both presenter and honoree. She received a standing ovation, which moved her to tears. 

The action of the short-lived “Life With Lucy” takes place in South Pasadena, California. Lucy (Barker) and John Ritter performed in a play at the Pasadena Playhouse, a real-life theatre that hosted many name actors, including Charles Lane, a character actor seen on “I Love Lucy” and “The Lucy Show.” Others included Florence Bates, George Reeves (raised in Pasadena), Eve Arden, Ruth Buzzi, Max Showalter, Jamie Farr, Moroni Olsen, Robert Preston, and Eve McVeagh. 

[bigfan-fanfic]

OC Details - DA OC Canon Posse + MGITs

From @3n-vee‘s “Extremely Detailed OC Ask Meme”

For Tash Adaar, Owain Bonneville, Henry Lucas, Cal and Ava Hawke, Morgan Walker, Aster Amell, Katie Cousland, and Reyn Caron

I started with Tash, then decided to only do the fun ones and add more characters. *shrugs*

The Basics

1. Age, Birthday, Star Sign (Tash only)

12-13 at the beginning of Inquisition, 15 at the end of Trespasser. Born 18 Guardian, 9:28 Dragon. Sign: Fervenial

3. Orientation and Relationship Status

Tash is a child, but when he is older, he will find he is gay. I kind of ship him with Kieran so that everyone is one big happy familly (Aster is cousins with the Hawkes, Cal adopted Tash, who eventually marries Kieran, son of Morrigan and Morgan.)

Owain is also a gay man who I have not yet settled on a canon relationship for. but whom I ship quite hard with @herald-divine-hell‘s OC Amayian Trevelyan

Henry is a panromantic asexual man whose relationship status I have not decided yet. Perhaps Cole.

Cal is a bisexual man married to Varric. 

Ava is a straight woman married to Sebastian but also in a polyamorous relationship with Fenris. 

Morgan is a biromantic and demisexual man in a committed relationship with Morrigan. Although I also ship him with @herald-divine-hell‘s OC Alexandra.

Aster is a homoromantic graysexual man married to Alistair. 

Katie is a bisexual woman and single. 

Reyn is a demiromantic bisexual man who I might decide to put in a relationship. 

6. Headcanon VA  (Tash only)

Unknown - although Tash does have a Marcher accent, slightly less thick than Blackwall’s. 

7. Occupation (Tash only)

Former Lord Inquisitor, Lord of Ylenn Basin, and Heir to the Viscount of Kirkwall - also Knight-Enchanter?

12. Own any pets?

Tash has a pet fennec fox named Harold. 

Ava and Cal have a mabari pet named Socks. 

Aster has a mabari hound that originally belonged to the late Elissa Cousland that he named Barksy, although to anyone besides Alistair or Aster, he must be referred to as Ser Barksy or Lord Barksy.

13. Have any kids?

Morgan, of course, has Kieran with Morrigan. He wouldn’t mind more if she was up for it. 

Cal has officially adopted Tash with Varric as of Trespasser. 

Ava and Sebastian are trying for an heir to the throne, although she may already be pregnant by Fenris. None of the others have children.

Owain, Aster, and Katie will want children eventually. It’s more complicated for Alistair and Aster since the Ferelden throne passes by blood. Aster wouldn’t mind taking care of Alistair’s child by a surrogate should circumstances prevent adoption.

Reyn doesn’t think children will happen for him, as a Warden, but should a child be born, he will love and care for them above all else.

Henry is undecided on children. As is Tash.

15. Can they sing? Can they dance?

Tash loves to dance and sing. He’s an average singer, but was trained well in court dancing, and enjoys making appearances at balls and events. 

Aster is more clumsy than a drunken druffalo, and is terrible at dancing, but he’s a surprisingly good singer, who would sing many duets with Leliana back during Origins. 

Cal and Ava only sing when drunk, although Ava learns to dance well. 

Owain both dances and sings like a trained bard. 

Reyn and Katie never sing, but both are passable dancers. 

Morgan likes singing to Morrigan and Kieran, and dancing with his wife (and occasionally with Zevran or Leliana), but isn’t comfortable with very many others. 

Henry can’t dance very well, and can only really sing in a crowd, but does both on his own anyway.

18. Have any special keepsakes?

Tash keeps a pair of specialized horn cushions Josephine had commissioned for him at Skyhold and finds them wonderful to sleep in. He also adores the handcrafted chess set he whittled with Blackwall. 

Owain will keep anything given to him or made for him by his lover, wearing it if possible or at least keeping it nearby. 

Henry has his phone, with all the memories it brings. It has long since lost its charge, but he keeps it close anyway as a reminder. 

Morgan has the ring given to him by Morrigan, as well as a smooth river stone that Kieran inscribed with the same rune Morgan has tattooed on his bicep. 

Aster still has the rose Alistair gave him, enchanted to never lose it’s beauty. It reminds him of his husband’s sweet nature. He also has a small figurine of a Circle mage that an older apprentice in Kinloch (Anders) made for him when he was very sad one day.

Katie has her charm bracelet from before she came to Thedas which acts like a talisman for her to know that she really did come from another world. 

Reyn has a scarf made for him by a stable boy he loved before leaving his family estate for the Academie des Chevaliers and a Dalish wedding ring given to him by an elven bride who he spared before going into exile and joining the Wardens.

Interests

19. Hobbies (Tash only)

Singing, dancing, writing, doing paperwork, chess, listening, dog care, designing fashion and furniture for the Inquisition, collecting Orlesian masks, and attending Orlesian theatre.

21. Fave food(s) and drink(s)

For some reason, Tash loves the notoriously awful-tasting Orlesian pastry known as the “Exquisite Misery.” It serves as an inadvertent power move in Orlesian circles, but his absolute favorite food is fresh-baked bread (reminds him of his home). Tash also enjoys hot cocoa ever since the Iron Bull shared some of his supply.

As a rule, Aster likes sharing Orlesian charcuterie with Alistair as a picnic in their chambers or the courtyard when they can get away from affairs of state. He’s also partial to fruit juices.

Morgan, Henry, and Katie all wish pizza was a thing in Thedas. There is a dish similar to it in Antiva, but nothing quite resembling it. Katie has gotten the closest to having actual pizza, being a noblewoman with cooks she can instruct. Morgan has inadvertently addicted Morrigan to coffee when he found out how to make it using magic. Henry likes water, but it’s hard to find a stable source of clean drinking water in Thedas. Katie adores tea.

The Wardens don’t often have fine food, and Reyn misses petit fours. He enjoys his personal Warden liquor mixture - Commander’s Concoction.

For Fun

37. Do they have any phobias?

Tash is a timid person in general, and is afraid of miscellaneous things from spiders to dolls with buttons for eyes. But no real debilitating phobias. 

Cal, Ava, Aster, and Henry all fear spiders.

Owain hates heights.

Nugs freak Katie out.

Morgan and Reyn feel fear, but have no phobias.

43. What pokemon would your character be (if they’re already a pokemon/gijinka tell us what they are, and how that’s affected them)?

Tash Owain Henry Cal Ava Aster Morgan Katie Reyn

44. What’s their pokemon team? Try to pick all 6.

Tash Owain Henry Cal Ava Aster Morgan Katie Reyn

45. Theme song (and a playlist if you’ve got it!)

Tash: “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift or “It’s a Good Day” by Kay Starr

Owain: “Dog Days Are Over” by Florence + The Machine and for romance: “All You Need Is Love” by the Beatles

Henry: “No Rain” by Blind Melon or “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay” by Otis Redding

Cal: “Dream On” by Aerosmith and for romance: “I Can’t Help Myself” by the Four Tops

Ava: “Royals” by Lorde and for romance: “Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince” by Taylor Swift

Aster: “Can You Tell Me How To Get to Sesame Street?” (2000) and for romance: “Love on Top” by Beyonce

Morgan: “People Are Strange” by The Doors and for romance: “Beauty and the Beast” by Angela Lansbury

Katie: “I Love It” by Icona Pop feat. Charlie XCX

Reyn: “The Wanderer” by Dion

46. If this character was in a musical, what would their motif be (what kind of instruments do you hear, what’s the tempo, ect).

Tash: Simple peppy flute that gradually becomes joined by other instruments to form a full-sounding orchestra with complex melodies. 

Owain: Slow, sad piano that is joined by violin and becomes strong and anthemic. 

Henry: Plucked cello strings. Inquisitive.

Cal: Brass section, room for improvisation. Bright and joyful.

Ava: Oboe and Bassoon, deep and reflective. 

Aster: Fiddles and flute, playing simple fast-paced dance music.

Morgan: Orchestration accompanied by electric guitar - shouldn’t work together but it does here.

Katie: Sharp woodwinds and guitar. Very formal, almost like wedding dance music.

Reyn: Acoustic guitar trio. Perhaps Spanish guitar. Contemplative and sexy.

The Deep Lore™

49. What are some themes tied to your character’s story?

Tash, Aster, Henry, Katie- Loss of Innocence

Owain, Ava - Self-Acceptance

Cal, Reyn - Mutual Pining/Unrequited Love 

Morgan - Found Family, Parenthood

[kristasclassicfilmereview]

What to Watch this Holiday Season!

Life can get a little busy for all of us this time of year. Some of us may find it a little difficult to get into the holiday spirit. Most of the time I find watching a Christmas film or show helps to boost the spirits. So I have compiled a list of film suggestions that I have compiled and continued to watch every year.  For me, I watch a lot of these films when I making my dozens upon dozens of Pizzelles during the Christmas season. 

Please keep in mind there is no ranking system to this list, it is just a list. Some films I have already written about previously. Others I have watched but not have written. Also, like my thanksgiving list, I do have an honorable mention section as well. So here is my list. 

1. White Christmas- 1954: For me, this film has been one of the first films I watch right after Thanksgiving, normally Black Friday or during the weekend. To be honest I think it is mainly because of the music.  Most have heard of this musical, and even listen to songs during the holiday season but if you have yet to watch it, the story is a song and dance team become involved with a sister act who help out an owner of a failing Vermont Inn Owner who was their commanding officer. This film has an all-star cast; Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, & Vera-Ellen.  A fun fact about this film this is not the first time the song White Christmas has appeared on film and sung by Bing Crosby. The first time Bing Crosby sang White Christmas was during the film Holiday Inn in 1942.

2. Miracle on 34th Street-1947: The first time I watched this film was probably when I was 10 or 11. Yes, I was 10 or 11 watching a black and white film! It always came on right after the parade. When a nice old man who claims to be Santa Claus is institutionalized as insane, a young lawyer decides to defend him by arguing in court that he is the real thing. I don’t know if it was Natalie Wood, Maureen O’Hara, or Edmund Gwen who made me a believer in Santa when I was young, but this film has the potential to make even the Grinch a believer.

3. It’s a Wonderful Life-1946: Growing up this film has always been a Christmas Eve Tradition in my family. This the one film I never watch before Christmas Eve. I am happy to say this tradition continues to live on even as we have gotten older. Some may say this is the number one Christmas movie of all time, which they are probably right. It is just a wonderful film. For those who have not seen this film, the synopsis is an angel is sent from heaven to help a desperately frustrated businessman by showing him what life would be like if he never existed. This film was directed by Frank Capra and stars Jimmy Stewart, Donna Reed, and Henry Travers. 

4. The Shop Around The Corner-1940: If you search through my blog you will find this is one of my favorite films. Also, some may realize this film has since been remade with You’ve Got Mail. This is a fun romantic comedy starring Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullavan. The story goes two employees at a gift shop can barely stand each other, without realizing they are falling in love through the post as each other’s anonymous pen pals. You may wonder why a film such as this has made my list, well the gift shop is gearing up for the Christmas rush and the film concludes wonderfully at the end with sweet Christmas present. 

5. Christmas in Connecticut-1945: Again if you search through my blog you will find a more detailed write-up. But this film is great on so many levels. This film gives us a look into what Christmas was like in the mid-’40s. Somethings may have changed, but some things have stayed the same. The synopsis is A food writer Elizabeth Lane (Barbara Stanwyck) who has lied about being the perfect housewife must try to cover her deception when her boss (Sydney Greenstreet) and a returning war hero (Dennis Morgan) invite themselves to her home for a traditional family Christmas.  

6. The Man Who Came to Dinner-1942: imagine its weeks before Christmas and you have your favorite radio personality coming to dinner at your house. He slips and hurts his hip, and cannot travel until after Christmas. Well, this is what happens in this film. Sheridan Whiteside takes up house and runs the show for the duration of the film until his personal secretary gives him a run for his money. 

*Fun Facts about films 5 & 6 cast Fun facts about the cast, most of the actors have all acted previously together in other films. Sydney Greenstreet and S.Z. Sakall was in Casablanca in 1942 with Claude Raines and Paul Henreid who both were in Now Voyager 1942 with Bette Davis who was in The Man Who Came to Dinner 1942 with Reginald Gardiner who played John Sloan who is Elizabeth’s love interest in Christmas in Connecticut.*

7. Love Actually-2003: a great British comedy. This film follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely interrelated tales all set during the month before Christmas in London. The 

8.Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer-1964: this is a Christmas classic for young and old. We all know the songs and who Burl Ives is. 

9. Charlie Brown Christmas-1965: Another classic for those young and old. At times we all feel lost and we all want to find the true meaning of Christmas. I am sure most of us continue to watch this multiple times through the Christmas season as I do. 

10. Polar Express-2004: It happens, heck to some of us it happened way too early. We stopped believing in Christmas.

11. The Bishop’s Wife-1947: Again if you search through my blog you will find a more detailed write-up. This film stars Loretta Young, Cary Grant, and David Niven. Julia Brougham (Young) is a woman of great strength, who longs for the days she can spend with her husband Bishop Henry Brougham (Niven). The Bishop is so bogged down with financial woes because of building a new Cathedral, in the beginning, he feels his wife doesn’t support him and that causes a strain on their relationship. Dudley (Grant) is an angel who is sent in human form to help both Julia and the Bishop. Without giving too much away, Dudley doesn’t cause trouble, but the Bishop doesn’t quite understand what Dudley is doing and what caused him to show up. This film definitely gives me the heartwarming feeling of the holidays. It’s a film that you can curl up on the couch with a cup of cocoa, and blanket while watching or curl up on the couch with a glass of red wine and blanket like me.

12. A Christmas Story- 1983: let’s face it we all wanted that one thing that is equivalent to the Red Rider BB Gun. It’s just a fun movie. 

13. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation-1989: This is another film that comes with a little tradition as well. My father had me watch this film for the first time when I was like 12. This film takes the idea of family coming in for Christmas and puts a complete 360-degree spin on it. Everything that could go wrong does.

14. Elf-2003: Whimsical films are always welcome. Deep down we are all a little kid on the inside

15. Scrooged-1988: there are a lot of adaptations and remakes of a Christmas Carol out there. Scrooged is the most comical version I have seen. A selfish, cynical television executive is haunted by three spirits bearing lessons on Christmas Eve.

16. Meet Me in St.Louis-1944: Again if you search through my blog you will find a more detailed write-up. Some people consider this a Christmas movie because of Judy Garland’s rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” She sings to Margaret O’Brien at night time on Christmas Eve and it makes Margaret and the rest of us think of better days ahead.

17. Holiday Inn-1942: A great musical starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire. At an inn which is only open on holidays, a singer and a dance vie for the affections of a beautiful new performer. This film also marks the first appearance of the song White Christmas sung by Bing Crosby. 

18.Home Alone-1990: This film has always been a childhood favorite of mine. I remember when my brother and I got it on VHS and we immediately watched it. An 8-year-old boy must protect his house from a pair of burglars when he is accidentally left home alone by family during Christmas Vacation. This film has always been a favorite of mine and I am sure it will be in film rotation soon. 

19. It Happened on Fifth Avenue-1947: this is a heartwarming film that still holds up today. It provides a look at the class systems in the ’40s through the eyes of the rich and the poor. A homeless New Yorker moves into a mansion and along the way, he gathers friends to live in the house with him. Before he knows it, he is living with the actual homeowners. 

20. Jingle All The Way-1996: Like Home Alone, this is another childhood classic. I first watched this film when I was younger at my babysitter's house. A father vows to get his son a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas. However, every store is sold out of them. He must travel all over town and compete with everybody else in order to find one.

Honorable Mention: 

As you have already read this list is quite extensive I couldn’t list all the films. However, here is a couple for those in-between times where the film may not be on tv or you may have gotten overruled when using the main tv. So here they are.

1. The Santa Claus Movies (1,2,3) 1994, 2002, 2006: I think a lot of people underestimate these films or forget these films do fill the holiday spirit. 

2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town-1970: We all need to reminded of the story of Santa Claus as told by Fred Astaire. 

3. Holiday Affair-1949: We all need a little Christmas romance starring Janet Leigh and Robert Mitchum. A young widow is romanced by a sales clerk who she inadvertently got fired. 

[ipurpleyou1993]

My thoughts on:

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung

Starring: Cha Eun Woo/Shin Se Kyung/Lee Ji Hoon/ Park Ki Woong

- Stand up for what you believe in. I think this is very important. People usually take advantage of those who are weak. So make your stand - especially if your boundaries and rights are being poked.

- Sometimes, being different is okay. Averting the community's standards is okay too. Why be like everybody else when you can be yourself?

We do not have to compromise our identity to match other people's standards. ✅😊💯

- Let us be each other’s support system. Let us value encouragement over discouragement. If someone wants to sing/dance/act/write, let them. Let them find what they are passionate about and support them.

Encouragement and kindness are free.

- Equality has come a long way. 👍🏻

The series is set during the Joseon Era where the status of women depended on who they marry. They are practically born to serve men during this time. So, I’ve come to appreciate the liberties we have now more than ever.

- Do your part. Do not be afraid when you are just doing what you are supposed to do.

- Adapt to the changing times. Change is the only thing that is constant. Let's all move forward with lessons from the past. 💜

- Wouldn't it be nice... if the world was Cadbury? Char! Hahahaha! Wouldn't it be nice if someone makes the decision to let go of everything just to be with you? #SanaAll

It may sound cliché but it's really romantic - how two persons can come together to achieve everything together. Wouldn't this really be nice? 😊❤️🥰

- Safe to say, no matter what era we are currently in, women make the world a better place. HAHAHAHA!

The Gist:

The series depicts the story of two young individuals who, despite being in different social classes, fell in love against all odds.

Shin Se Kyung plays the role of Goo Hae Ryung. She is a quirky young lady from a noble family who enjoys reading a lot. In saying so, she works as a book-reader to noble ladies in her neighborhood to earn money. Although, due to her book preferences, she always ends up not getting paid.

During this time, women tend to enjoy books about cringy love stories - most of which are written by “Maehwa”. Hae Ryung, on the other hand, prefers western literature which usually end depressingly. Hence, the no-payment scenario.

Little did everyone know, Maehwa is the pen name of Prince Dowon Yi Rim (played by Cha Eun Woo). He is the King’s son who lives at Nokseodang - the most secluded area in the palace - where he stays with a eunuch named Sam Bo and 2 young court ladies.

Naturally, as a kid who never left the palace, he is very innocent, naive and gentle. He found writing as a means to pass time inside the palace. Thus, the inspiration for the novels he usually writes are the secret love affairs of eunuchs and court ladies.

Digging deeper into the conflicts inside the palace, the king and his right-hand man decided to request the hiring of female historians. They meant to spy on the queen dowager who seems to be plotting against them behind their backs by doing so.

This move took a turn when the crown prince - Yi Jun - approved the plea on the condition that the female historians should take the civil service examination for government employees and that their involvement should not be limited to the queen dowager but to ALL members of the royal family.

A lot of controversy rose as females were not allowed to hold any position in the government during this time.

Hae Ryung and Yi Rim's story start to blossom here - when Goo Hae Ryung decides to ditch her arranged wedding to take the civil service examination to work inside the palace as a female historian.

They are set to an adventure of finding out their real identities and the people behind their past experiences.

The rest is for you to find out. So, watch this. It will be worth your time. 👍🏻💕

What I liked about the series:

- I love how unconventional the theme of this series is. Well, it's a gender bender type of story. The aggressiveness of the female lead and the innocence and naivety of the male lead is fun and fresh. ❤️💕😍 It makes the story more interesting since it's different from the traditional sageuk we are previously acquainted to. 👍🏻😊❤️

- I was thrilled when I found out that Cha Eun Woo was casted here as the male lead. I grew fond of him when I watched My ID is Gangnam Beauty. He's such an eyecandy! 😍😍😍

Of course, in relation to his outstanding visuals, we get to see a glimpse of his beautiful physique *wink wink*

On a serious note, what I liked about him in this series is that he has a very demure personality. Rarely do we get to see men in sagueks who are effeminate - mainly because historical dramas are very patriarchal in nature (IMO, ✌🏻).

I also liked how his character really transformed from this very innocent prince to a very mature potential king. The character growth was well-displayed so it was very satisfying to watch. ❤️😊😍

His acting is one to praise as well. I could say that he has improved a lot in the duration of the series. You might find this hard to believe in the beginning. But wait til you see him in the last few episodes. You'll get to appreciate his improvement more. 😊👍🏻💯

Aaaaand, may I just say, the term "Face Genius" really works for the man. Well, who wouldn't love this BB's face? TELL MEEEEE! 💕😂😊

- I was impressed with the acting skills of Shin Se Kyung here as well. The role of Goo Hae Ryung suits her! Her portrayal of the character was so on point that it actually came out naturally. Good job! 👍🏻👌🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I love how her character is so independent, responsible, intelligent, fun, aggressive (in a good way), lovable and just plain quirky with a sunshine-attitude. Like I said, I enjoyed seeing women do what is considered taboo in this particular era. It's something fun and interesting to watch. 💕😊👍🏻💯✅

In this day and age, I think we need more Goo Hae Ryung's in the world - someone who stands up for her rights; someone who is not afraid to do her part for the common good; someone who is not afraid of power; someone who does not bend over backwards for power; someone who is righteous and responsible.

Very few are blessed with this kind of courage. So, if you're one of these very few individuals, SALUTE!

Also, I love how she looks so elegant in a Hanbok. She's rocking the traditional outfit as if they were casual attires. No wonder she was part of the 2017 Hanbok PR Ambassadors. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

PO: I honestly think not all korean actresses look good in this traditional outfit. ✌🏻

- Their chemistry is 💯💕💕💕💕. They look good together. All their scenes made my heart flutter and skip a beat. 😍😍😍

- I like how the series tackled a bit about Christianity. There's this one scene that I really liked between Min U-won and another historian who was willing to let go of his position and to sacrifice his life for his religious belief.

I honestly appreciated my faith more because all this time (in my 26 years), I was and I am still reminded that all are equal - rich or poor - in the eyes of God. 💯😊✝️

- Friendship appreciation post: I loved how the friendship of the people in this series protected and cheered up each other.

It's always good to know that someone has your back - all the time. 😊✅💯

- Yo, I also loved the big reveal regarding the leads' identities. Goosebumps, everywhere! Especially...

SPOILER ALERT!

Especially when they confronted the king on the latter part of the series. Ooohweeee! Daebakkk!! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

- Storywise, it's good. 💯

It talks about love, forgiveness, friendship, faith, loyalty, dignity and responsibility.

Kudos to the team for a job well done! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Cons:

- Okay... I have to admit, I did find the acting skills of Cha Eun Woo a little mediocre at the beginning. It was as if he wasn't ready for the role...

Some of his facial reactions were either exaggerated or repetitive... ✌🏻

But, let me tell you this. Do not let this bother you. He's got something in store for you on the latter part of the series. Do watch. 👍🏻😊✅

- I was a bit sad too when I heard that Cha Eun Woo was paired with Shin Se Kyung. My first impression on Shin Se Kyung is not that good. I honestly thought that her acting skill is not that impressive (Personal opinion, friends ✌🏻)

I have watched her in The Bride of Habaek and I was quite disappointed. Same with The Girl Who Sees Scents. 😔

But then again, all more reason to watch this because she really showed off what she's capable of. I've come to love her here because her acting prowess was showcased beautifully! 💕👏🏻👍🏻

- Again with the villain predictability. One can say that this story has the usual sageuk villain. ✌🏻

Soundtrack:

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung OST

My personal favorite is Fall in Luv by Henry. It's the first track in the link provided above. 👆🏻👆🏻

Highly recommended for those who want to stray from conventional dramas. This one's fun and really enjoyable! You won't regret it! 💯👍🏻😊

CTTO Photos/GIFs/Music

[roseisread]

My Year in Movies: Favorite Non-2018 Feature Films (Part 1)

I watched a LOT of movies this year. At last count, I had logged 229 features and 126 shorts; and that doesn’t count rewatches--only movies that were new to me.

I set a few challenges for myself as well this year. The first one was to watch at least one non-English language/US release per week--this exposed me to so much world cinema and some really amazing filmmakers. Anyone who avoids foreign films because “I don’t like subtitles” is really missing out, and I found myself craving these narratives from voices I don’t ordinarily get exposed to in my everyday life. 

Other personal challenges: Watching as many horror movies as possible in October (with horror defined pretty loosely so I could include entries from silent era and onward, as well as some comedy cult classics that have horror/thriller elements); participating in Noirvember (in addition to attending Noir City in Chicago); crossing off some major blindspots from my list (such as Bicycle Thieves, The Producers, Lethal Weapon, A Few Good Men, Grease, Home Alone 2, Brazil, and Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom); and trying to watch movies and short films from every decade that motion pictures have existed.

In 2019, I hope to do similar personal challenges with a focus on movies made by women, LGBTQ+, and people of color, in addition to filling in the gaps of my classical/canonical movie knowledge. 

OK, so that’s enough preamble. Let’s get to the list! For this list, I’m excluding movies that were released in 2018--that’s coming but this is for movies released before that. 

50. Linda Linda Linda (2005, directed by Nobuhiro Yamashita, country of origin: Japan)

High school girls recruit the Korean exchange student (Doona Bae, of Cloud Atlas and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance) to join their rock band a few days before the school talent show. This is just a feel good film, recommended if you enjoyed the likes of Sing Street, We Are The Best!, and The Runaways. Unfortunately, it’s out of print in physical form; but last I checked someone had uploaded it to YouTube so you might want to get on that before it’s removed. You can watch the trailer here.

49. The Blue Dahlia (1946, directed by George Marshall, country of origin: US)

This film noir stars Veronica Lake and Alan Ladd, and like any good noir, it deals with dark subjects including murder, blackmail, political corruption, and PTSD. It’s been on my watchlist for a long time, and thanks to Noir City Chicago, I got to see it on the big screen at the Music Box Theatre. For small screen viewing, you can catch up with it via rental on Vudu, Amazon, iTunes... the usual suspects. 

48. Siren of the Tropics (1927, directed by Mario Nalpas and Henri Etievant, country of origin: France)

My dearly departed Filmstruck had a spotlight on the films of Josephine Baker, and this was among them. I fell in love instantly with the lively, beautiful Baker, here playing a woman named Papitou who deals with some super scummy dudes but manages to be herself in the face of all that nonsense. Silent films can sometimes be tougher to engage with for modern audiences, but this one flies by and contains some unexpectedly racy sequences for the time. Its racial politics don’t meet today’s cultural standards, but considering Baker’s parents were former slaves and their daughter went on to become the first woman of color to star in a major motion picture, this is still a landmark film worthy of our consideration. She broke down many barriers and contributed a great deal to both the entertainment world and the Civil Rights movement, and this serves as a nice entry point into her career. It’s available on DVD through Kino Lorber, and hopefully one day soon it’ll pop up on another streaming service that carries on the Filmstruck legacy.

47. I Don’t Feel At Home in This World Anymore (2017, directed by Macon Blair, country of origin: US)

Here’s a film that goes to some unexpected places. I had no idea what to expect from Macon Blair, who frequently appears in the movies of Jeremy Saulnier; but in his debut feature for Netflix, he pulled out all the stops. Hilarious, violent, and intense, with memorable performances from stars Melanie Lynskey and Elijah Wood, this is a movie about getting in over your head and just going for it anyway. I don’t want to tell you about the plot because it’s best discovered through watching--just go to your nearest device and add it to your Netflix queue. 

46. Song of the Sea (2014, directed by Tomm Moore, country of origin: Ireland)

Absolutely gorgeous animation from the team that previously brought us The Secret of Kells, and a touching story that combines family and mythology. I adored this one. Watch it on Netflix or rent on the usual streaming sources--for a preview, click here. 

45. Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942, directed by Michael Curtiz, country of origin: US)

I always watch Independence Day on the Fourth of July; but in 2018, I decided to mix it up and cross this patriotic musical off the watchlist. I’d seen James Cagney’s gangster movies like White Heat and The Public Enemy, but seeing him sing and dance was a whole new joyous discovery. This movie is entertaining, funny, touching, and full of iconic sequences that other films would go on to borrow from. I absolutely loved it. Pretty sure I saw this on Filmstruck originally, but since that’s no longer possible you should be able to find it at your local public library or you can rent it for a couple bucks on Amazon, YouTube, iTunes, and the like. 

44. The Man Who Cheated Himself (1950, directed by Felix Feist, country of origin: US)

This tightly wound noir thriller pits brother against brother against the backdrop of 1950s San Francisco. Lee Cobb plays an aging bachelor and an accomplished police detective who falls for the wrong dame. His younger brother, played by John Dall (Gun Crazy, Rope), has just joined the police force and idolizes his older brother. Trouble strikes when the dame murders her no good husband and needs help from Cobb to cover it up. Naturally, Dall gets assigned to the case and as he begins to piece together the clues, he doesn’t like where they’re leading him. The climactic sequence is one of my favorite endings to a noir film, and I’ve seen a lot of them. Watch it for free if you have Amazon Prime; otherwise, there are a few versions uploaded to YouTube of varying quality or you could wait for it to pop up on TCM. 

43. Los Angeles Plays Itself (2003, directed by Thom Andersen, country of origin: US)

This documentary edits together clips from movies of every era that were filmed or set in Los Angeles, and explains through voiceover narration the significance of each location and the history of the motion pictures in LA. That’s it--very simple concept but also fascinating. I split this up over a couple nights because it’s pretty long, but if you’re a film fan or a Los Angeles native, this is well worth your time. The voiceover is kind of hilariously flat in its delivery--kind of a Steven Wright sound actually--but that sort of adds to the charm for me. Get a taste by watching the trailer, and then you can rent it on YouTube for $1.99.

42. A Simple Plan (1998, directed by Sam Raimi, country of origin: US)

It’s been almost two years since we lost Bill Paxton; I don’t know about you but I don’t think any other actor can really fill those shoes. This year I caught up with three films that showcased his talent: A Simple Plan, One False Move, and Frailty. He plays very different characters in each one but in many ways they all start off with a similar premise: Ordinary guy dreams of becoming more. What that “more” is for each character is what sets each film and performance apart, but Paxton provided a great canvas to paint these unique characters onto. He inhabited the ordinary man better than just about anyone. 

In this film, which I watched during Noirvember, Paxton plays Hank, a college-educated guy working a blue collar job in a small town, trying to make a better life for himself and his family. He’d like to get away from those small town roots, but his socially awkward brother Jacob (Billy Bob Thornton) relies on him. Unfortunately, Jacob is often accompanied by the hard-drinking loose canon Lou (Brent Briscoe). When the unlikely trio discover a crashed plane in the woods containing a suitcase full of cash, they each have ideas for how to handle the situation. Of course things escalate from there, and the way the movie explores human nature and family ties set this story apart. Available for online rental on the usual platforms.

41. The Iron Giant (1999, directed by Brad Bird, country of origin: US)

Given my obsession with Vin Diesel in the early 2000s, it’s pretty shocking I never saw this movie til now--sure, he and his glorious muscles don’t appear on screen, but he does provide the voice of the title character after all. When the Iron Giant made a controversial cameo in this year’s film adaptation of Ready Player One, I decided it was time I saw the source material for myself. 

This gorgeously animated fable unfolds during the Cold War era, and features an ET-inspired story arc of a young boy befriending an unlikely being that the government is looking for. If you’ve never seen it, this is definitely a must-watch. Currently available on Netflix, but rentable on other platforms too.

40. The Unsuspected (1947, directed by Michael Curtiz, country of origin: US)

I adore Claude Rains, star of this film and supporting actor in Curtiz’s more famous work, Casablanca. Here, he plays the host and narrator of a popular radio show that revolves around tales of murder--basically the Law and Order: SVU of its day. We learn early on that he sometimes draws inspiration for his broadcasts from real life criminals. When people in his own life start dropping dead, the plot thickens and he finds himself at the center of the action. A very suspenseful and well-plotted film noir, which is available from the Warner Archive collection on DVD. I got to see it at Noir City Chicago, and loved every second of it. 

That’s all for this entry--stay tuned for part two of this list, posting soon! 

[kiradurbin]

Super Short Reviews: winter tv part three (and last) 2019:

Perfume (Netflix) – Germany.   Another knock out murder mystery from Germany, this one is so dark its similar to the Swedish mysteries.  Strong ensemble cast; its clear from the beginning that the disturbing murder is only scratching the surface of many more bad deeds of the past.  Naughty naughty!

Informer (Amazon) – UK.  Paddy Constantine is as loveable as ever as a CI handler who waffles between looking grumpy and lost.  His partner looks like a child who cant decide which is more surprising – that she’s an actor at all, or that she was cast on a show about terrorists.  But the star here is Nabhaan Rizwan with his dreamy leading man eyes and biting street smart wit.  He makes this show.  Werk!!

Diablero (Netlix) – Mexico.  The priest looks like Michael Buble which I found exceptionally amusing and distracting. I couldn’t tell from the first 2 episodes if the actors just hadn’t settled into their demon hunting roles yet, or the director couldn’t decide what style he was going for.  If they land in the B-movie horror camp I think people could enjoy it.

Deadly Class (SyFy) – Based on the graphic novel.  I especially dig the 80s music and the Henry Rollins.  You don’t have to be a teeneager to enjoy this – since it takes place during the Regan administration rule, Gen-x viewers will likely get way more of the references than Gen-z. Benedict Wong has great fun as the principal of this school for assassins and Lara Condor is a gem as his star pupil.  She even wears a Bad Religion t-shirt in one episode.  It was not an historically correct t-shirt but hey at least they tried.

Wayne (YouTube) – 16 year old me would have been OBSESSED with this show, so if you fall into that age group please enjoy the crap out of it for me.  This kid makes more trouble in the first episode than most kids do their entire lives. Also anything that makes fun of Southies is great by me.  Funny, sad, dark, and awesome -- and huge props to Mark McKenna who takes on the dialect like a native.  (And he was also in one of my favourite movie ever Sing Street!! blatant plug)

Selection Day (Netflix) – India.  I don’t understand cricket so it took me a minute to get into this... but when the two boys (played by Mohammed Samad and Yash Dhohle) get to stretch their emotional wings my heart was bowled into rooting for them. (Lame attempt at a cricket pun.)  Plus who doesn’t love a little magical realism?

The Other Two (Comedy Central) – I laughed.  Its a send up of childhood overnight youtube stardom, and crazy people in loveable but crazy New York.   Plus Molly Shannon and Ken Marino -- Who doesnt love those two crazies?

Demon’s Path  (Netflix) – Hong Kong.  You know when you were in junior high / high school and you made bad home movies with people that couldn’t really act and dialogue that wasn’t really good?  This is a lot like that.  How is a 16 year old on the police force?  Its impossible to make a supernatural story line work with goofy acting … but maybe Hong Kong, like Korea, doesn’t consider this goofy acting. Maybe they think all our shows are goofy acting.  I dunno.

Black Earth Rising (Netflix) – UK. This is super heavy.  You’ve got the Rwandan genocide, the war in the Congo, a big trial at the Hague, and some mysterious events of the past that John Goodman knows but will never tell.  Bonus: Harriet Walter!

Four More Shots Please (Amazon) – India.  These people are actually speaking English most of the time but if you’re like me you’ll need to turn the subtitles on. Plot:  Four plucky young women traverse life and love (or at least sex) in Mumbai. Style: It’s not quite SATC but there is a dance number!!  (duh its Mumbai!)

Justice (Netflix) – UAE.  The genre is legal procedural.  But the style is almost soap opera.  And the music is all over the place.  Confusing.  Still, Fatima Al Taei makes a strong case (pun intended) for herself as a young, intelligent, female lead, and the stories highlight the complex struggles between traditionalism and modernism.  Netflix’ first Emirati show.  

Sex Education (Netflix) – UK. Tempting to describe this using only emojis (ha ha ha!)  But seriously, Asa Butterfield has grown up to be the awkward-ish high school son to Gillian Anderson’s single sex therapist mother. Sooooooo fun to see Gillian in a comedic role!! (and a mod haircut to boot.)  Emma Mackey and Ncuti Gatwa shine as the best friends ready to drive or support any potentially comedic ‘therapy.’

Sydney to the Max (Disney) – Yay Caroline Rhea!  Another one for the teeny boppers; this show centers on the cute juxtaposition of a girl in seventh grade and her dad’s memories of the same grade in 1992.  The girl acts waaaaaay younger than my seventh grader, but hey, maybe these people live in some nice hubba bubblea suburb.  

Kingdom (Netflix) – Korea.  Visually beautiful –  a lot like the Japan episode of Westworld.  Government factions fight each other – a lot like the Japan episode of Westworld.  Beautful people do monstrous things – a lot like the Japan episode of Westworld.   But how you know that its NOT the Japan episode of Westworld is howwwwww slooooooooow eeeeeeveryyyyyyone iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.  I wonder if Koreans think everyone on our shows talk way too quickly.  

I Am The Night (TNT) – actually a mini-series but I’m throwing it in here anyway  cuz I enjoyed it. Patty Jenkins and Chris Pine reunite to tell a story (mostly fictional) of the real Fauna Hodel and the really bizarre people she meets as she tries to discover who her real family is.  I loved the 1960s detailed pictures (shot on Kodak film) of Los Angeles and  India Eisley is great in her wounded kitten portrayal of Fauna.

[googlenewson]

Whether you’re standing in the theater lobby or curled up in bed, deciding what to watch next is often the most difficult part of any pop-culture junkie’s day. And with dozens of films in theaters on any given weekend, plus virtually endless layers of streaming purgatory to sort through in search of your next binge-watch, there’s more out there—and tougher decisions to make—than ever.

Fortune’s here to help you navigate the week’s latest offerings, boiling all the entertainment out there down into three distinct recommendations: should you see it, stream it, or skip it? Find out below.

SEE IT: ‘Cats’ (In theaters)

What you have to understand about Cats is that it’s certifiably insane, from its Jellicle whiskers to the tip of its Jellice tail. I’m referring here to the beloved Andrew Lloyd Webber stage musical, one of Broadway’s longest-running, as much as Tom Hooper’s gleefully demented movie adaptation. From day one, Cats has been one of the strangest megahits in any storytelling medium; it’s necessary to know this, and accept this, before reading any further.

Describing the plot of Cats makes you feel like you’re on bath salts (though not as much as does seeing it play out on screen), but the broad strokes are essentially this. Over the course of one night in an unnamed, eerily empty neighborhood, a group of cats take turns introducing one another—with names like Rum Tum Tugger and Mr. Mistoffeelees—as they debate which one of them will get to die, ascending to another plane of existence known as the Heaviside Layer, where they’ll be reborn into a new life. As a story, it’s pure fever dream, the kind of thing even Roald Dahl’s editor wouldn’t have let him get away with; but the strange non-plot of Cats functions, in a theatrical setting, as an ideal delivery system for visual splendor and powerhouse vocals.

Hooper’s tackled musicals before, notably in 2012’s Les Miserables, where he spent 158 minutes on extreme close-ups of France’s most impoverished, and he fully throws himself into the task of translating Cats, a much more experimental piece of work, to the screen. There’s a newly created audience surrogate, Victoria (newcomer Francesca Hayward), who’s tossed via burlap sack into the neighborhood of the Jellicles, a tribe of cats on the eve of making their “Jellicle choice.” Across the sung-through story, she meets a mewling menagerie of contenders for said choice, including bumbling Jennyanydots (Rebel Wilson), stately Gus the Theatre Cat (Ian McKellen), and portly Bustopher Jones (James Corden), plus the aforementioned Mistoffeelees (a gawky Laurie Davidson), and Rum Tum Tugger (Jason Derulo, who sings and simpers gamely but seems to be missing a little something). Presiding over all is Old Deuteronomy (Judi Dench and, no, I don’t know who named these cats), who’ll enjoy the festivities then select the lucky (?) feline in question.

The real draw of Cats involves seeing the all-star cast, which also includes pop sovereign Taylor Swift and vocal legend Jennifer Hudson (who gets to belt out “Memory,” the production’s lone showstopper), made over with the help of CG effects, called “digital fur technology” (though it’s basically just expensive deepfakery), into cat-human hybrids. The effect is deeply upsetting; though the actors are covered in fur and sporting twitchy tails, their proportions are still human, so the actors appear discomfitingly sensual while dancing and serenading one another. They have cat ears, but also human teeth; whiskers, but also fingernails. Some wear jumpsuits, while others go for a more paw-naturel look; the movie directs attention to the strange sense of faux-nudity that results by having Idris Elba’s villainous Macavity wear a hat and fur coat (which begs questions we shouldn’t dare to ask) but later make a surprise scene entrance after disrobing, to which the other cats react with a fairly hypocritical degree of horror.

In watching this digital fur extravaganza at work, entranced by the sheer scale of its visual chaos, I found myself wondering what else Hooper and his team could have done. The tactic most employed by Disney, the imperial overlord Universal’s bravely going up against with this freaky little musical (note this week’s skip it), has been to pursue photorealism in its animated productions. Earlier this year, it turned The Lion King into an uncanny-valley catastrophe, sapping the story of all emotional and dramatic resonance in the process. People simply did not want to hear human voices coming out of the mouths of Planet Earth lions, which is very understandable. Hooper’s techniques with Cats, through which his furry creations sing and dance maniacally into their versions of heaven or hell, bring the whole affair closer to Gaspar Noe’s Climax by way of The Aristocats. While Cats is by no means going to be a guaranteed hit with the little ones, who may be terrified by it or confused by its sexuality, it’s an absolutely unhinged piece of blockbuster filmmaking, worth beholding in all its tawdry, queer, bombastic glory.

It’s the kind of risk studios just don’t take any more, perhaps much more of one than executives ever intended it to be. The film cost some $100 million to pull off, and the amount of uncertainty Cats brings with it into the multiplex—did those oh-my-god-they-actually-did-it trailers turn people off, or the opposite?—makes it the most exciting box-office curiosity left in the calendar year. Will it break records or bomb? The experience of watching Cats—howls of stunned laughter from many, with a few Swifties cheering her grand entrance and the majority of us struggling to even once pick our jaws up off the floor—is one of the most strange and mind-melting you’re likely to have in a theater when it comes to studio content of this size and scope. I’d recommend going for much for the same reason the play’s stuck around so long—whether it’s a masterpiece or one of the worst things you’ve ever seen, it’s resolutely its own thing, a deranged freak-fantasia worth falling into for a couple of hours, if just to say you did. That is to say, it’s Cats.

STREAM IT: ‘The Witcher’ (Netflix)

Netflix’s latest original-series gamble is aiming for Game of Thrones-level complexity in its sketching of a dark-fantasy realm where mythical creatures lie in wait but monarchal power struggles loom just as large.

And based on its first season, The Witcher (adapted from the beloved book series by Polish writer Andrzej Sapkowski) is well on its way. Comprising eight episodes, a smaller number which clearly allowed showrunner Lauren Schmidt Hissrich to focus on thoughtfully tracing an ambitious array of story arcs, the series hangs around the impossibly broad shoulders of Geralt of Rivia (Henry Cavill, great at veining these strong-and-silent types with a gallows humor).

A stone-faced loner who roams the dangerous Continent in search of monsters to slay, Geralt is no hero, and he’s often perilously close to going over the edge in his bloodletting. The character’s most distinguished by his unwillingness to diverge from his own moral compass by getting involved in court politics. In this, he’s reminiscent of Clint Eastwood’s tumbleweed-drifting Man with No Name or Raymond Chandler’s private eye Philip Marlowe, a sword in hand rather than a revolver. But Geralt’s on a path toward destiny, as protagonists in high-fantasy fare such as this often are, and he’s soon to become entwined in the fates of two distinctly powerful women. There’s Yennefer (Anya Chalotra), in training to become a powerful sorceress at a mysterious academy, and Ciri (Freya Allen), a young princess in hiding after her kingdom was ransacked and her parents slain. All three characters are afforded their own storylines, weaving their way across the Continent and finding themselves transformed in a myriad of ways by its darkest, magical elements.

Further detailing the epic, sweeping nature of The Witcher‘s story would be to deprive audiences of unexpected, rather graceful reveals that the scripts tease out in due time. What there is to say about The Witcher is that it represents one of Netflix’s most fully formed forays into genre territory yet. The fights, especially in a cinematic and sprawling pilot, are of a kinetic and impressively top-shelf variety, Cavill’s Geralt moving like a man possessed as he rends flesh from bone and engages in some surprisingly balletic bouts of swordplay. And the production design is similarly well-executed, quickly establishing the Continent as a grungy, bloody landscape for these characters to navigate. But it’s the strength of the storytelling that bodes most well for The Witcher as a new destination for those done licking their wounds after that fateful final run in Westeros.

SKIP IT: ‘Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker’ (In theaters)

… even though you’ll see it

“If this mission fails, it was all for nothing,” characters tell one another throughout Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. That’s popcorn-prose concentrate, the kind of dramatic hyperbole that Star Wars has been coasting on since the very beginning. And while it’s traditionally been a fake-out—there’s always another mission, another battle to be won, even after ones that end with your hero encased in carbonite—such sentiment has never felt as profoundly hollowed out as it does by the end of Rise of Skywalker, a graceless franchise finale about nothing more than missions succeeding that itself feels like a staggering failure of vision, conceptually as well as on basic storytelling fronts.

Director J.J. Abrams’ anxiety in making Rise of Skywalker surely fell along those same all-or-nothing lines. By his own admission, he’s bad at endings, and there was tremendous pressure riding on Abrams to bring home the story of the Skywalker clan, a nine-movie saga that’s never loomed larger in the pop cultural imagination. The Rise of Skywalker may well be the last Star Wars movie to feature the heroes Abrams helped forge in his nostalgic The Force Awakens—Rey (Daisy Ridley), Finn (John Boyega), and Poe (Oscar Isaac)—and it’s almost certain to be the final outing for original cast members the series is now starting to outlive. Carrie Fisher died after shooting her scenes for The Last Jedi, and this entry (once intended to be Leia’s movie in the sense that The Force Awakens was Han’s and The Last Jedi was Luke’s) is to be her last screen credit. This just makes the magnitude of Abrams’s failure all the more devastating. One last adventure? Hardly. In a pivotal entry for the franchise, he chooses not to tell a story, instead drowning the developments this trilogy’s second film put forward in a soupy mess of fan service and stilted, unoriginal plotting.

When The Last Jedi hit theaters two years ago, it offered a thematic depth hitherto unseen in Star Wars movies; in the hands of writer-director Rian Johnson, it tangled head-on with questions of hero worship and inheritance that have always been intrinsic to the galaxy far, far away. But the answers it provided—that one must relinquish the past to chart a future, that our heroes will disappoint us, that the Force is not the lineage of a select but a spiritual energy belonging to all of us—were bold and unexpected. In this, it was a shocking follow-up to The Force Awakens, Abrams’ play-the-hits remake of A New Hope, and ruffled feathers with a small but loud contingent of fans, who disliked the film’s treatment of Luke and focus on supporting characters (the most hated of whom, perhaps not coincidentally given the way these Internet mobs tend to go, were women and minorities).

This is worth mentioning because The Rise of Skywalker feels, more than a film, like a feature-length capitulation to those who disliked what The Last Jedi did with the Star Wars mythos (which was, at the end of the day, to make a real movie with it). Where The Last Jedi zagged, Rise of Skywalker zigs, choppily, back inside the pre-existing template to which Disney and Lucasfilm clearly now believes these movies must adhere. It is in fact comical how frantically it rushes to undo Johnson’s progression of these characters, crowding them unnaturally into the same space to combat criticisms everyone spent too much time apart in the last film and entirely sidelining Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran, the series’ first Asian-American lead who was brutally harassed online after The Last Jedi) with so little explanation it feels just as racist and sexist as the chatroom vitriol she was subjected to. The Rise of Skywalker also works overtime to retcon The Last Jedi‘s biggest twists. One deformed bad guy with Force powers is down for the count? Let’s introduce another. The question of Rey’s parentage got answered, unexpectedly, with the revelation her family name didn’t have to matter so much? Well, let’s revisit that actually.

From the first words in its opening crawl (“The dead speak!”) to its final frame, The Rise of Skywalker spends its whole runtime chasing ghosts. As teased by the trailers, Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) is back, for reasons the script scarcely attempts to rationalize, and he brings with him a fleet of Star Destroyers capable of wiping out entire planets in one blast. You thought the First Order was bad? Get ready for the “Final Order.”

That’s truly the order of business in The Rise of Skywalker. It’s a movie slavishly devoted to hitting beats from previous films without basic narrative sense, to the point where it feels less like a natural ending to this franchise and more like bad fanfiction. The only way the characters progress is through ill-advised romantic pairings. One interminable (and ultimately pointless) lightsaber battle takes place amid in the wreckage of a destroyed Death Star. The finale involves outgunned resistance fighters making one last stand to blow up a massive bad-guy space base. Beloved characters are imperiled constantly, but there are no real stakes when even the already-dead ones are back for sizable roles. Familiar desert planets pop up, along with Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams), for maximum fan pandering.

There’s a real difference between a director and an artist, and nothing demonstrates this better than the massive step down The Rise of Skywalker takes both thematically and visually after The Last Jedi. There’s little by way of distinctive or striking visuals; the entire film is hued a murky blue, with an ill-advised focus on strobe lighting. Furthermore, it’s a Star Wars movie with absolutely nothing under its surface, which is a damning trait for a movie in this franchise. Abrams is a great producer, but his weaknesses as a filmmaker have never been this exposed. In attempting to give a noxious portion of the Star Wars fanbase what they asked for, his finale feels like a cheap and derivative product, the ultimate end-result of Disney’s written-by-committee modus operandi, so craven about resurrecting Star Wars that it comes off like grave-robbing. This is Star Wars broken under the weight of its own importance, eating its own tail for lack of any original voices to better nourish it. It’s nothing short of a tragedy.

More must-read stories from Fortune:

—Why these high-profile book adaptations bombed at the box office in 2019 —’Tis the season for holiday movies—and Hallmark and Lifetime aren’t afraid of Netflix —Whistleblower cinema is back in a big way —How some artists are building their careers through Spotify playlists —As 2019 draws to a close, does the movie star still have a pulse? Follow Fortune on Flipboard to stay up-to-date on the latest news and analysis.

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[davedimartino]

NEW THIS WEEK  8.03.09

I'm pretty excited as I write this, and I bet you would be, too!

Why? In about 10 hours, on Tuesday morning, I'll be at the dentist's office getting a root canal!

The down side? Maybe it'll hurt! The up side?  It may be more fun than listening to this week's new releases! Either way, sleep enters the picture!

 Modest Mouse: No One's First And You're Next (Epic) It's a great week when a budget-priced release of also-rans and B-sides by a "platinum-selling" "alternative rock" "band" is the hottest release, but with an album cover like this, who wouldn't want to pick it up? Featuring  "newly recorded" songs form the We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank and Good News For People Who Love Bad News sessions--Latin for what the hell does that mean?--and a couple of "rare" b-sides, this can only be a prelude for their long anticipated next real record, provisionally entitled We Like To Use Excessive Quotation Marks To Denote Irony Because Frankly It Disturbs Us That Some People Out There Are Waiting For Us To Record "Here I Come To Save The Day" And We Don't Want To--Featuring Johnny Marr! Honestly, I really do floss, so why am I here?

Gloriana: Gloriana (Emblem/Warner) Unlike Glorioski, their cult counterparts in Poland., Gloriana show every sign of perhaps making big in the American record industry! They meet all of today's contemporary standards! There are four of them, two guys, and two girls! They are physically attractive! One of them--Cheyenne Kimball, got her start as a star in an MTV reality series before releasing her first solo album The Day Has Come in 2006! She even sang at that year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! Their new album's product description notes that the group's "soaring four-part harmonies have been compared to music icons such as the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac"! Sadly, some suggest the comparison was made by a studio technician who noted that the actual waveform their music produced, when analyzed, looked more like a vacuum cleaner than the vocal work of such greats as the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac! As always, editing is everything! I love this stuff!

  The Hooters: Both Sides Live (Megaforce)  Time sure flies! These poor guys may as well have called themselves the Massive Knockers for all the good name recognition's going to do them; hopefully they can eat for free in restaurants bearing their name! But this two-CD set has got a lot of music on it: One disc recorded in Philadelphia in 2007 including such tracks as "And We Danced" and "All You Zombies,"  another disc entitled "The Secret Sessions" featuring much of the same material recorded in the acoustic format! Is it any good?  It's all every Hooters fan ever dreamed of! And check out the size of those melodicas!

  K'Jon: I Get Around (Universal Republic) One of the week's better albums here by Detroit R&B singer K'Jon--no relation to any condiment!--who many people first heard singing "Miami" on the 2Fast 2Furious soundtrack! He's making some noise now on the basis of his fab track "On The Ocean," and should appeal to fans of Anthony Hamilton and that whole "neo-soul" thing that was kicking around a few years ago. Considering the names of those no singles, it's no surprise he notes he's getting bugged driving up and down the same old strip! Friends don't let friends say "Gesundheit " in front of him!

  Tantric: Mind Control (Silent Majority Group) In many ways in the tradition of Saliva, Fallout Boy, Papa Roach, Days Of The New, Lifehouse, Fuel, Local H, Eve 6, Lit, Stabbing Westward, Staind, Clutch, Daughtry and…what? Oh, sorry, someone's at the door! Anyway, yeah, they still look cool!

 John Surman: Brewster's Rooster (ECM) Anyone who's followed British jazz since the mid-'60s--and I'm sure that's most of us!--has a soft spot in their heart for saxophonist Surman, who's consistently produced some of the most adventurous and forward-looking music in the genre. Much of his solo work for the prestigious ECM label has tended to veer toward Terry Riley-esque minimalism or more "traditional" classical works incorporating his bass clarinet;  this is his first conspicuous foray into the sort of jazz he recorded ages ago for the Deram and Dawn labels, and it's absolutely fabulous. Aided by the standout trio of guitarist John Abercrombie, bassist Drew Gress, and drummer Jack DeJohnette,  Surman, at 65 or so, probably has no opinion on the Eminem/Mariah Carey controversy!

 Julian Plenti: Julian Plenti Is…Skyscraper (Matador) This charming, upbeat and admirably textured record is actually the work of Interpol frontman Paul Banks, who apparently adopted the pseudonym because he was deeply ashamed by the record--well, I'm guessing--and also as a tribute to his favorite pink & white candy! It's the sort of album that's kind of tangential but that you might really get into if you heard it a lot--say like that Henry Badowski album on IRS back in 1981called Life Is A Grand..!. Hopefully the similarly ellipsis-inclined Mr. Plenti won't follow Badowski's example upon poor sales and withdraw "from music and public life," and instead get back to his good ol' band and start sounding like Joy Division again!

 Anjulie: Anjulie (Hear Music) She's from Canada, her music's been heard on The Hills and The City, and she opened for Jesse McCartney during his tour this year! She's the product of a Guyanese-Canadian marriage and has "exotic good looks"! What about you? Her debut single is called "Boom"! Talk about making an impact! I think she's quite talented, and would like to see her prosper! Help me, and, indeed, Anjulie, in our respective quests!

 Scott Hardkiss: Technicolor Dreamer (God Within) A surprisingly good album by the San Franciscan techno/trance dude who coincidentally is also a member of a group called Hardkiss! Here he makes actual music and songs instead of pressing buttons, going to the store for cigarettes, and coming back home to hear the new record he just made! It's bolstered by an excellent CD package, including the typical "being tempted by the wanton mermaid" imagery most of us have grown to love, and exciting tunes such as "Hey Deejay!," "Beat Freak," and the disturbingly titled "Interlude"! Furthermore, by not including a pretentious "u" in the "technicolor" part of this album's title, Scott has proven he's a real artist! I’m down with him, as they say!

 Mac McAnally: Down By The River (Show Dog Nashville) I think one of the major reasons that movie Gigli was such a conspicuous flop was because nobody even wanted to take a chance and pronounce its name wrong!

[papermoonloveslucy]

LUCY AND CAROL BURNETT (aka THE HOLLYWOOD UNEMPLOYMENT FOLLIES)

S3;E22 ~ February 8, 1971

Directed by Jack Carter ~ Written by Ray Singer and Al Schwartz

Synopsis

Harry has fired Lucy again, so she visits the unemployment office where she reunites with secretary turned actress Carol Krausmeyer (Carol Burnett) and meets other out of work show biz folk.  They decide to put on a show in order to make some dough!  

Regular Cast

Lucille Ball (Lucy Carter), Gale Gordon (Harrison Otis Carter), Lucie Arnaz (Kim Carter)

Desi Arnaz Jr. (Craig Carter) does not appear in this episode, but is given opening title credit.

Guest Cast

Carol Burnett (Carol Krausmeyer) got her first big break on “The Paul Winchell Show” in 1955. A years later she was a regular on “The Garry Moore Show.” In 1959 she made her Broadway debut in Once Upon a Mattress, which she also appeared in on television three times. From 1960 to 1965 she did a number of TV specials, and often appeared with Julie Andrews. Her second Broadway musical was Fade Out – Fade In which ran for more than 270 performances. From 1967 to 1978 she hosted her own highly successful variety show, “The Carol Burnett Show.” Lucille Ball made several appearances on “The Carol Burnett Show.” Burnett guest starred in four episodes of “The Lucy Show” and three episodes of “Here’s Lucy,” only once playing herself. After Lucille Ball’s passing, Burnett was hailed as the natural heir to Lucy’s title of ‘The Queen of TV Comedy.’

Krausmeyer is the same last name as the music teacher played by Hans Conried on Lucille Ball’s radio show “My Favorite Husband.” 

Richard Deacon (Harvey Hoople) is probably best remembered as Mel Cooley on “The Dick Van Dyke Show” (1961-66). He appeared as Tallulah Bankhead's butler in “The Celebrity Next Door,” a 1957 episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour.”  He was employed again by Desi Sr. as a regular on "The Mothers-in-Law” (1968). This is the first of his two appearances on "Here’s Lucy.”

Harvey Hoople is a clerk at the Unemployment Office, although his name is never spoken aloud.  

Clarence Landry and Vernord Bradley (“The Highhatters”) were a tap dance duo who both appeared in in the Vitaphone 1941 short Minstrel Days.

Landry and Bradley are a introduced to Lucy by Carol using their real first names. 

Jack Benny (Himself) was born on Valentine’s day 1894. He had a successful vaudeville career, and an even greater career on radio with “The Jack Benny Program” which also became a successful television show. His screen persona was known for being a penny-pincher and playing the violin. Benny was a Beverly Hills neighbor of Lucille Ball’s and the two were off-screen friends. Benny previously appeared on “The Lucy Show” as Harry Tuttle (a Jack Benny doppelganger) in “Lucy and the Plumber” (TLS S3;E2), did a voice over cameo as himself in “Lucy With George Burns” (TLS S5;E1), and played himself in “Lucy Gets Jack Benny’s Account” (TLS S6;E6). This is the third of his four  episodes of “Here’s Lucy.”  Benny and Ball appeared on many TV variety and award shows together. He died in 1974.

Although Benny plays into his 'tightwad' personae, he is never identified by name or recognized as a celebrity.  

Vanda Barra (Unemployment Cashier) was married to Sid Gould so is Lucille Ball’s cousin-in-law. This is just one of her over two dozen appearances on “Here’s Lucy” as well as appearing in Ball’s two 1975 TV movies “Lucy Gets Lucky” (with Dean Martin) and “Three for Two” (with Jackie Gleason). She was seen in half a dozen episodes of “The Lucy Show.”

Unusually, Barra is nothing more than a background performer in this episode, but still gets end credit billing. She has no dialogue.

The 'Canadian Mounties' are played by:

Sid Gould (left) made more than 45 appearances on “The Lucy Show,” and nearly as many on “Here’s Lucy.” Gould (born Sydney Greenfader) was Lucille Ball’s cousin by marriage to Gary Morton. He was married to Vanda Barra (Cashier).  

Johnny Silver (center right) was a busy Hollywood character actor who was seen with Richard Deacon (Harvey Hoople) on “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and with Jack Benny (Himself) on “The Jack Benny Show.”  He will do one more episode of “Here's Lucy.”  

Mike Wagner (right) makes his only appearance on “Here's Lucy.”

Kay Kuter (center left) was a character actor who made an appearance in the 1970 TV movie Swing Out, Sweet Land with Jack Benny and Lucille Ball as the voice of the Statue of Liberty.  

Carol identifies Kuter as “Chuck Walters, a fantastic singer” when they are the unemployment office. This character was named in honor of Charles Walters, director of the previous episode, “Lucy and Aladdin’s Lamp” (S3;E21). Carol probably should have said “fantastic dancer” since the real Walters was known as dance director of MGM musicals, six of which featured Lucille Ball. 

Others at the unemployment office, including two male acrobats and various clerks, are played by uncredited background performers.

This episode is sometimes known as “The Hollywood Unemployment Follies” to distinguish it from previous episodes also titled “Lucy and Carol Burnett.”  

Interestingly, although “The Carol Burnett Show” usually followed “Here's Lucy” at 10pm on CBS, there was no new episode the night this “Here's Lucy” first aired.  

On the series DVD this episode is introduced by Carole Cook, who says that Lucille Ball did her own signing on this episode, despite the fact that Cook had previously dubbed Lucy in other musical episodes.  

In a previous episode, Kim reminds Lucy that Harry has fired her 14 times.  This makes 15.

Kim tells Lucy that in California she could get as much as $65 a week in unemployment insurance. As of this writing (late 2017) the maximum was $450 a week for 26 weeks.

Carol jokingly tells Lucy that 'Carol Krausmeyer' isn't her professional name when acting – it's Raquel Welch.  She looks down at her bosom and says “Ok, someone let the air out.” Raquel Welch was a voluptuous movie star who was previously mentioned on “Lucy and Johnny Carson” (S2;E11), “Lucy, the American Mother” (S3;E7) in which she was mentioned alongside Burnett, and as Jack Benny’s Palm Spring neighbor in the second episode of the series. Carol also used Welch's name as a punchline in “Lucy Competes With Carol Burnett” (S2;E24).  

When Harvey Hoople decides to join up with the unemployed performers to write and direct their show he says “Governor Reagan, I quit!  You can keep your old job!  I'm back in show biz, Ronnie!  Don't you wish you were?” Former Hollywood actor Ronald Reagan had been elected Governor of California in 1967, a position he held until 1975. He was later elected 40th President of the United States and served until 1989. He was previously mentioned in the second episode of the series, “Lucy Visits Jack Benny” (S1;E2) and more recently in “Lucy and the Raffle” (S3;E19).

To flatter him into being a backer of their show, Carol says that Harry looks like Cary Grant. He dryly replies “So do you!” Harry was compared to Cary Grant (and others) by Kim (disguised as new secretary Shirley Shoppenhauer) in “Lucy Protects Her Job” (S2;E14, above). Grant was often mentioned on all of Lucille Ball's sitcoms, although the two never acted together.  

The subtitle of the “Hollywood Unemployment Follies” is “How to Starve in Show Business Without Really Trying.”  This is a variation on the title of Frank Loesser's 1961 Pulitzer Prize-winning Broadway musical How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying, which was made into a film in 1967.

The ensemble sings “Hooray for Hollywood” a song by Johnny Mercer and Richard A. Whiting that was first sung in the 1937 movie Hollywood Hotel. This song is the only one to features specially written lyrics to fit the episode's theme. This version mentions Henry Fonda and his children Jane and Peter.  Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda starred in the film Yours, Mine and Ours together in 1968.

Stumbling onto a Hollywood soundstage, Lucy, Carol and Kim discover a mannequin of Humphrey Bogart.  Kim had a poster of Humphrey Bogart (inset) on her wall in “Lucy and the Andrews Sisters” (S2;E6). In “Lucy and the Bogie Affair” (S2;E13) Kim and Craig name a lost dog Bogie because it has the same sad look as Bogart did at the end of 1942’s Casablanca. Ogling the mannequin adoringly, Carol references the famous line “If you want anything, just whistle,” Lauren Bacall’s parting words to Humphrey Bogart in the film To Have and Have Not (1944). This line was also referenced in “Lucy and the Bogie Affair” (S2;E13).  

They then admire a larger than life photo portrait of Jean Harlow. Jean Harlow (1911-37) was Hollywood's original wisecracking blonde bombshell. Only five months older than Lucille Ball, Harlow died of uremic poisoning at age 26 just as Lucy's career was getting started.

They move to a mannequin of Jimmy Cagney dressed in prison stripes.  Kim does her impression of Cagney saying “You dirty rat.” Cagney never actually said the famously mis-quoted dialogue but a line in his 1932 film Taxi! probably came closest, calling a philandering man “You dirty, yellow-bellied rat!” James Cagney (1899-1986, inset) was a singer, dancer and actor best known in Hollywood for playing tough guys.

They then encounter mannequins of Clark Gable and Vivian Leigh dressed in costumes from Gone With the Wind (1939). Carol, using a high pitched Southern accent, imitates Scarlet O'Hara. Coincidentally, Carol will play Scarlet (re-named Starlet) in a one of her most famous sketches from “The Carol Burnett Show” in 1976 (above right).  

Lucille Ball herself was short-listed for the role of Scarlet O'Hara and even did a screen test for the part. Ball will play Scarlet O'Hara in “Lucy and Flip Go Legit” (S4;E1) with Flip Wilson as Prissy. 

Lucy imitates Butterfly McQueen, who played Prissy, Scarlet's maid, using the famous lines “I don't know nuthin' 'bout birthin' babies.”  After Lucy's imitation of Butterfly McQueen, Carol sarcastically says “it sounded more like Steve.” Steve McQueen (1930-80) was an actor who would receive an Oscar nomination for The Sand Pebbles in 1966, the same year that he was mentioned in “Lucy Goes to a Hollywood Premiere” (TLS S4;E20).  

The final mannequin on the 'soundstage' is of Judy Garland (inset) in The Wizard of Oz wearing her famous blue gingham dress and ruby slippers. Kim does a high-pitched imitation of the Munchkins. Two of the Singer Munchkins, Jerry Maren and Billy Curtis, appeared in “Lucy and Ma Parker” (S3;E15) and Shep Houghton, one of the Winkie Guards, was a background performer on “Here's Lucy.”  

Lucy, Kim and Carol launch into “We're Off to See the Wizard,” written by Harold Arlen and Yip Harburg for The Wizard of Oz, which brings them to a wardrobe rack conspicuously labeled COSTUMES WORN BY BETTY GRABLE AND ALICE FAYE. Faye and Grable did two films together, Tin Pan Alley (1940) and Four Jills in a Jeep (1944).  Betty Grable (1916-73) made two films with Lucille Ball when they were both at RKO in the mid-1930s. She then guest-starred as herself with her second husband bandleader Harry James in “Lucy Wins a Racehorse,” a 1958 episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour.”  Alice Faye (1915-98) often played gritty, non-nonsense women in films. She was married to Phil Harris, who will play himself on a 1974 episode of “Here's Lucy.” 

In a magical reveal (aka editing) Lucy and Carol become blondes singing “Chicago (That Toddlin' Town”) a song written by Fred Fisher and published in 1922. 

After a quick costume change (editing again), they sing “Alexander's Ragtime Band” which was composer Irving Berlin's first hit in 1911, the same year Lucille Ball was born.

After a commercial break, Lucy and Carol discover “the derby worn by the one and only Bill Robinson.” Bill Robinson (1878-1949) was the preeminent tap dancer of his day. He is best remembered for his appearances with young Shirley Temple in four of her 1930s films. Robinson worked with Lucille Ball on the 1935 musical film Hooray for Love. 

 After some camera trickery (more editing), Kim is wearing the derby and introducing (through song) one of the Highhatters as Bill “Bojangles” Robinson (inset) doing a tap routine which she then joins in.

Next up, four comical Canadian Mounties sing “Stout-hearted Men,” a song by Sigmund Romberg and Oscar Hammerstein II for the operetta New Moon in 1927 with film versions in 1930 and 1940.  Richard Deacon (also dressed as a Mountie) and Carol Burnett sing “Indian Love Call” by Rudolf Friml, Herbert Stothart, Otto Harbach, and Oscar Hammerstein II written for the 1924 operetta Rose-Marie. The melody was used for the mating call of the wild Gorboona in “Lucy's Safari” (S1;E22) which guest-starred Howard Keel, who was in the 1954 film version of Rose Marie. 

Dressed as Marlene Dietrich, Lucy sings “Falling in Love Again (Never Wanted To)” from the 1930 German film The Blue Angel. Harry plays a World War I German soldier. Marlene Dietrich (1901-92) was born in Berlin, but came to Hollywood to make films in 1930.  She was nominated for an Oscar in 1931. 

The Highhatters introduce Carol as Miss Ruby Keeler and they sing “Shuffle Off To Buffalo” by Al Dubin and Hugh Warren, originally written for the 1933 film 42nd Street. They then do a dance challenge to the title song from the film. Ruby Keeler (1910-93) was a singer, dancer and actress most famous for her pairing with Dick Powell in a series of movie musicals, including 42nd Street. Like Lucille Ball and (now) Lucie Arnaz, Keeler had a home in Palm Springs, California.

As the finale, the entire ensemble is dressed in rain slickers and performs “Singin' in the Rain” written by Arthur Freed and Nacio Herb Brown in 1931.  It was most famously featured in the film Singin' in the Rain in 1952.

Many of the movie posters decorating the 'soundstage' were from Paramount Pictures, to which Lucille Ball sold Desilu / RKO and where they filmed “Here's Lucy”:

Hollywood or Bust (1956) starring Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin

Samson and Delilah (1949) starring Hedy Lamarr and Victor Mature

The Greatest Show on Earth (1952) starring Charleton Heston, Betty Hutton, and Gloria Grahame, who replaced Lucille Ball when Lucy became pregnant with Lucie

Short Cut to Hell (1957) directed by James Cagney

Gone With the Wind (1939) starring Clark Gable and Vivian Leigh

Under Two Flags (1936) starring Claudette Colbert and Ronald Colman

“The Lucy Show” established Lucy Carmichael as a film fanatic in the Hollywood-themed episode “Lucy Goes To A Hollywood Premiere” (TLS S4;E20).  

The Scarlet O'Hara dress is the same one Lucy Carmichael wore in 1965 as Lucybelle in “The Founding of Danfield,” a community theatre play featured in “Lucy and Arthur Godfrey” (TLS S3;E23). 

The vaudeville backdrop curtain during “Chicago” and “Alexander’s Ragtime Band” was also used in “Lucy and Jack Benny’s Biography” (S3;E11). 

Props! The wardrobe rack of costumes worn by Betty Grable and Alice Faye also contains Gale Gordon's silver space suit from “Lucy and the Generation Gap” (S2;E12).  It is hard to imagine either woman wearing that!  

Who Am I? One mannequin on the 'soundstage' doesn't get identified.  It is dressed in Roman armor. It may have been Charleton Heston in Ben Hur, but was cut for time.  

Spell-Check! The end credits miss-spell 'Mountie' as 'Mounty'.  The word is an informal reference to The Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

“Lucy and Carol Burnett” or “The Hollywood Unemployment Follies” rates 4 Paper Hearts out of 5 

This episode seems more like “The Carol Burnett Show” than “Here's Lucy” - especially when Lucille Ball is off-screen. A Hollywood revue is a great idea, but the 'book scenes' (in between the songs) are played in such a naturalistic way that they don't really seem any different than the actual show.  It is almost as if the trio actually walked into a Hollywood Hall of Fame and had musical dreams.  It all feels very much like the old Judy Garland / Mickey Rooney 'let's put on a show in a barn' genre.  Gale Gordon has very little to do (not even a cartwheel!) and Desi Jr. is completely absent.  Not unenjoyable but not the best of these musical comedy episodes either.