#Hell yeah she'll be dad

[chimchiri]

hiiii just wanted to say that your drawing from december of RD and Spitfire being Scoots' mums gave me nothing but joy and life and happiness and wondered if you had any headcanons about Spitfire and Scoots' relationship (stepmom bonding with the stepdaughter?)

Ok listen, LISTEN. Spitfire learning that little Scootaloo can't fly but still loves adrenaline? With her little scooter??? There is only one logical bonding activity: Motor bike rides.

I definitely think Spitty has a need to fly but even on ground she probably rides a motor bike. And she would love to take Scootaloo with her.

I hc Scoots being somewhat shy when initially meeting Spitfire. Kinda like when you meet a celebrity - it just leaves you speechless and awkward. But once Spitfire sits her the first time (when Rainbow was supposed to spend the day with her but unfortunately became way too sick) they just hit it off.

I see Spitfire as not thinking of herself as a parent and being a mom for most of her life. She's career-driven and loves her job with the Wonderbolts way too much. She can't handle being around small Children and babies too well (which is also a funny canon comic moment btw). A kid doesn't really fit into it all. But Scootaloo easily makes her change her mind. Especially because there is the added bonus of meeting Rainbow much more. Spitfire pretty quickly starts to identify as a parental guidance to Scootaloo and soon after potential, actual family.

[hana-no-seiiki]

This is generally such a stupid ask but I feel like it would be.. Chaotic? At the very least amusing

Anyways

Batfam x Nicole from Class of 09! Reader

Do what you want (etc make it romantic or platonic, doesn't matter)

Just the batfam (yandere ofc) dealing with a chick who loves to ruin lives for her amusement and sometimes for revenge

Istg she'll just bully them at any chance she gets

~ 🕒

I just binged watched Class of ‘09 and all its endings/choices for you non. I don’t think I can fully depict how brash wittiness of Nicole is but here I go! (I am so traumatized) Didn’t know that’s where “No I’m flirting with you flash me a tiddy bitch” came from no wonder Nicole sounded so familiar.

btw if people are interested in watching class of ‘09 just be warned it’s basically a VN version of Degrees of Lewdity but the mc is actually a minor (without the sex/r*pe mechanic though) and it depicts a lot of just… pedophilia, necrophilia, assault, su*c*de, school shootings, racism??, BE WARNED.

The following content above ^ might be mentioned in this fic but in passing. MASSIVE DDDNE WARNING.

I don’t think I’m comfortable writing stepcest/incest in this blog so despite how perfect it’ll be to make Bruce your step father considering Nicole’s mom has divorced like a hundred times…maybe ask me in @yoru-no-seiiki and I’ll be down for it.

THIS IS ADMITTEDLY TIM + DAMIAN CENTRIC

“Do you even care? Do the results of your actions mean anything to you?”

“Yeah when they affect me, sure.”

You were a bitch. There was no denying that. But you were a pretty one. One many would grovel to be under.

You were used to this, ever since you reached a certain age people just looked at you different, acted in a way that… made you think they were boring, utter losers.

One of those losers was Tim’s friend.

Like all the stupid, horny men in your life, you hung out with him once and he spilled everything there was that you could share.

To the entire campus, the internet, even the news.

And because you were pretty, you got off scot-free. Those morons didn’t even check to see what you’ve been doing the past decade.

Except Tim. Timothy Drake. You only knew that his dad was super rich, and as much as it was tempting to sink your teeth into him and get a load of that daddy’s money, you knew better.

He apparently didn’t.

You see there was one thing every batfam member couldn’t resist. Well, two things. The first was saving people.

The second? Fixing them.

When Tim first approached you he was confused.

You were quite the popular figure in Uni. He heard the rumors. He fully expected to be cussed out to hell and back.

But you were… nice. Agreeable at most really. Brash was an understatement. But you were witty. Your comebacks were swift and deadly.

The more he studied stalked you the more he realized that the two of you were the same.

Two bright people stuck with dull idiots.

And Tim? Tim interested you enough for you to not to completely drop him after the first week. That and most of your bullying probably wouldn’t bode well towards the son of a billionaire.

He was smart, even more so than that nerd friend of his that you destroyed the life of. But more importantly he actually had some tact, and was surprisingly packed underneath all those baggy clothes.

Tim had to admit he was kind of forgetting his entire purpose of ‘fixing’ you.

Until you manipulated yet another guy into jumping off a school building for you. Thankfully he survived because Red Robin happened to be there to apprehend him but still!

And what’s worse, you met up with him afterwards talking about how that Red Robin ruined all your plans of crippling a r*pist.

Wait, a r*pist?

Tim looks through your past victims once more. Admitted he only did a surface level job of studying them in comparison to his PhD level knowledge on everything about you specifically.

And…you were right. Every guy you’ve harassed was being pushy with you in the first place, if not people with authority a decade older.

Fuck.

Well now he had no excuse. He had to make you his.

Meanwhile…

“Ugh, Damian. Can’t you tell your brother to like, fuck off or something? I can feel my social standing totally plummet every second he’s around. How do you handle being related to him?” You groaned. You weren’t fucking stupid. You knew Tim was stalking and drooling all over you lately. You hated it. He was ruining your chances with your new victims.

“Jeez [Y/N]. And here I thought you were like, into him.” Jessica, your actual crush and best friend, commented as she filed her nails.

You being the emotional stunted adult you were only replied with an (admittedly softer) “Eat a sandpaper cock and die bitch.”

Damian stared at you, the words die before they crawl out of his mouth. His hands clenched underneath the lunch tables.

Guess he had another thing to steal from his brother this time.

[miniwheat77]

Brat pt. 2 (dbf!Captain Price.)

!CW! NSFW, Smut, unprotected p in v sex, John being a gentleman 🥰, virginity loss, mention of body shaming, thigh riding (sorry if I missed any.)

“How has Y/N been lately?” John asks your dad.

It’s been a few weeks since you’ve seen him. “Oh she’s been great, I’m not sure what was going on with her.” He shrugs. You were off at a friends house right now, it was just John and your dad. They’re in your back yard, making burgers for dinner on the grill. “Maybe she just needed out of the house.” He smiles. “Yeah maybe. I’m sure she’s going stir crazy being done with school and all that.” He laughs, flipping one of the beef Pattie’s with a spatula. “She’s been out so much lately.” He sighs. “Is that bad?” John asks. “No of course not, it’s just hard. She’s eighteen now yeah but she still had to abide by my rules. I just hate that she’s growing up. I don’t want her getting herself into trouble thinking she’s more mature than she actually is.” John is listening, choosing to let your dad vent versus talking.

“I mean.. even when she was a little girl, she always liked older guys. Like.. thirties and above. She’s never liked guys her age. And I understand. Boys her age are nothing but.. sex driven assholes. I just worry so bad about her walking into the arms of the wrong man.” He sighs. For a minute, John feels bad. Like he’s taken advantage of you. You seemed so mature for your age, maybe he’d missed it.

“I’ve always monitored her stuff. Cell phones, computer. Everything. Behind her back of course. Just to make sure she never started talking to anyone online or any of that but I stopped because she’s adult now, deserves her privacy n all that. I never found anything out of the ordinary.” He shrugs. “She’s a smart girl. I’m sure she’ll be just fine.” John shrugs. “Yeah, I know. I just worry cause it’s my kid. Even though her attitude kills me sometimes.” He laughs. John smiles. “She does got quite the attitude.”

Your dad shakes his head with a smile. "Sometimes she's real nice, a real good girl. Other times I just wanna strangle her." He groans. John laughs, taking a drink of his beer. "She'll get better mate, it takes a while. I'm sure she's just figuring everything out." Your dad nods. "Yeah. You try saying that when she's being a brat." He rolls his eyes. "Send her my way. Little military training wouldn't hurt" He laughs. Your dad smiles. "That's a great idea actually. Although with how mean she can get she might humble you a little bit. Got a bite just like her dad." He laughs. "Sure it's nothing I can't handle."

He laughs. Just then, they hear your car pull into the driveway, an awful squeak coming from your car as you come to a halt. "Fuck." Your dad grumbles. "What?" John asks. "I told her I'd look at her breaks last weekend and never got around to it." He sighs. "I'm not doing anything, I can look at 'em while you're at work." He shrugs. "Oh that'd be great, thanks John." He smiles. You step out the back door, smiling when you see the both of them. Sundress blowing in the wind. "Are we gossiping out here?" You smirk. "Yeah about you. John's gonna take a look at your brakes so you can quit bugging me about it." He nudges you. "It just needs new brake pads." You roll your eyes. "I'll find something else to bug you about just because you said that." You smirk. "Yeah. I'm gonna send you John's way when you’re acting like a brat. He'll get you whipped into shape." He winks. Patting your shoulder. Your heart falls into your stomach, and your dad passes by you into your house, John nearly spits his beer out at your expression. Your cheeks are bright red and your eyes are wide. "He meant.. military punishments. We were joking about it." He laughs. "Oh.. Okay." You breathe. You needed to get the hell out of there. "Bring your car over, I'll look at it." You nod your head, hurrying off to hide your blushing cheeks.

Your heart settles in your chest as you climb into your car, starting up the engine. You notice John’s garage door opening. You pull out of you driveway and maneuver your car into his, pulling into his garage until he tells you to stop. He closes the garage door behind you. “I already have the brake pads and rotors.” You fidget with your hands nervously, you’re alone with him again. “Alright, so this will be easy than.” He smiles.

He gathers everything he’ll need. Tools, car jack. He even had some extra oil laying around. Figuring he’d just do it while he’s working on your car.

As he’s working on it, he starts asking questions. Not easing into it, jumping in head first. “So. I’ve heard your dad mention more than once that you’re into older guys. There a reason?”

His blunt question sends crimson up your cheeks. “Uh…” you pause. “Because guys my age suck.” You breathe. “Well yeah, but there’s got to be a reason. Have you ever even dated someone your age?” He asks. “Yes.” You breathe. “That’s the reason I don’t like them.” You laugh awkwardly. “What happened?” He asks. “Um..” you shift uncomfortably. He emerges from underneath the car, he’d finished up already. He leans up against it, crossing him arms. You’re sitting on a bench by his toolbox. “Go on.” You sigh. “Tried to pressure me into having sex with him. I wasn’t interested.” John nods his head. “That’s it?” He asks. You groan. “No. He was controlling. Wouldn’t let me wear shorts, monitored my social media, told me my thighs were too big and that he didn’t like my stretch marks. And I know it could be all guys but older men have been much kinder to me than guys my age.” John smiles. “Sweetheart.. I hate to break it to you.” He adjusts his beanie that he’s wearing. “But guys will be nice to you no matter what if they want something from you.” His eyes travel to the sweet spot between your legs, noticing you shift yourself uncomfortably. He can see the way you’re sitting now, eyes filling with tears. He feels like an asshole. You probably weren’t ready to hear that.

“Not all of them. Especially if I don’t tell them that I’m a Virgin to begin with.” You avoid his gaze. He nods his head. “Y/N. You’re a sweet girl and I’m not trying to be a prick here. But all men have some kind of flaw, even your dad does. I can be mean when I don’t want to be.” He shrugs. “You have to find someone you tolerate the most, because we all suck.” He laughs. “I didn’t mean to upset you, darling.” He moved toward you, placing his hand on your thigh. “It’s okay.” You mumble. “I can be mean too.”

He smiles, looking down. “Did you only touch me because.. because you want to use me?” You look up at him. “No, no.” He breathes. “I gave you a bad example.” He sighs. “What happened between you and I Y/N.. it wasn’t right. I wasn’t right to touch you like that.” He chuckles. “I’m not right for you, you deserve far better than anyone like me. The reason I brought this up is just because I don’t think anyone will be good enough for you. You’re the perfect, pretty, bratty girl.” He smiles. “And you deserve the fucking world.” His hand is still on your thigh, he’s close to you. “John?” You look up at him. “Yeah?”

“You said what happened was bad..” he nods his head. “Am I a bad girl if I liked it?” You bite your lip. Your tone of voice, the way you’re looking up at him. It’s killing him. He hisses under his breath, the way you’re looking at him should not be allowed. It’s pure sin. “No. Because it feels good. It was wrong of me to put you in that position.” He breathes. You sigh. “I liked it.” You breathe. “I think about it all of the time, try to replicate the way I felt myself but I can’t even come close.” You whimper, pushing your hips toward the end of the bench, clenching your thighs together. His eyes travel down, seeing your reaction to just the thought of him alone. He turns away from you, he needs to get the fuck out of here before he does anything else. “You’ll learn. It’s best you figure out what your body likes best before you trust someone else with it.” He reassures you. You nod your head. “It’s been years and nothing makes it feel better.” You laugh. A part of you knows that you’re teasing him. But another part of you doesn’t realize just how hard you’re making him. “What do you mean?” He asks. “I.. I’ve been getting this.. tightness in my stomach. I didn’t know that.. it was.” You blush. “I didn’t know it was because I was turned on. Until I was talking to some friends at school a couple years ago and heard them talking about sex and what felt good. No matter how I touch myself, it just doesn’t feel right.” You breathe. “But.. when you did it..” you shift in your seat. “Changed everything.” You breathe. You’re a horny mess on his bench right now, and he’s doing everything he can to hold himself back.

He notices your dad pulling out of your driveway though the small window in his garage, off to work. Your mom had already left for her night shift job as well.

You were completely alone with John. For hours.

“What does it feel like?” You ask. Looking up at him. He moves forward, sitting next to you on the bench. Turning himself toward you. “What?” He asks. “Sex?” You chew on your lip. “For me? It’s amazing. It feels.. you know how I touched you? It feels like that but a hundred times better.” He breathes. “But for you? It’ll hurt. Because you’re still a Virgin.” He sighs. “Does it always hurt?” You ask. “No, just the first time. The second time may be a little uncomfortable. Your body just has to get used to it.” He explains. “How bad does it hurt?” You look up at him. “It.. it depends.” You tilt your head. Looking confused. “Depends on the size of your partner.” He avoids your curious gaze.

John had to clench his eyes closed so that the thought of you, whimpering as you take him down travels through the depths of his mind. “Would you take advantage of me?” You ask. “What? Of course not.” He breathes. You reach out, grasping his hand and pulling it into you. Setting it onto your thigh. “Y/N.” He breathes. His chest is tight. He hasn’t felt this riled up in forever, how on earth you’re making him feel like this is beyond him. It’s wrong, so wrong.

“I can’t stop thinking about it, John.” He draws his hand away from your thigh, pushing it up passed your cheek. Resting it there. “I was wrong. To touch you like that. I shouldn’t have done what I did.” He breathes. He can feel the frustration radiating off of you. “Please..” you mewl. “I can’t do it, no matter what I do.” You whimper. You’re breaking him. He sighs. Placing his hand down on your thigh. Sliding it up a little bit. “It’s wrong darling. I don’t want to take advantage of you, you’re just desperate.” He breathes. You climb up into his lap, breathing out as you straddle one of his thighs. “Shit-“ he breathes. You rock your hips into his thighs, whimpering at the friction you feel. He hisses at the warmth between your legs. He can’t keep it together anymore. Something about you using him to get off just sends him spiraling. He rests his hands on your hips, pushing your dress up onto your hips. He guides you into him, groaning out. “John..” you whimper. “Yeah?”

“I want to know what it feels like.” You look up at him. “What?”

“Sex.” You whimper. He holds your hips steady. Looking deep into your eyes. “Y/N.” He sighs. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. I’ll hurt you, real bad.” He breathes. “I trust you, John. I want you to do it.” You breathe. “You said so yourself, you wouldn’t take advantage of me.”

He sighs. “Of course not, but.. this is so important and it should be with someone you love.” You look up at him. He sighs at the look you have in your eyes, gleaming so bright, so full of trust for him. He feels like a creep for having such relations with you. He lifts you up, walking you inside of his house. He sits down on his couch with you still in his lap, looking at you. “I can help you out, but you should save yourself for someone special. Yeah?” You nod your head. He moves your panties to the side, rubbing gentle circles into your clit and you whimper, rocking your hips into his hand. He circles your wet hole with one of his fingers and pushes it into you. You grind down into his finger.

“So desperate..” He trails off, admiring you. You’re basically riding his fingers and he’s enjoying it, lifting his hand into you. “John.. please.” You whimper. “Baby.. you don’t know what you’re asking for.” He chuckles at your desperation. You look at him, wiggling away from him. “What are you doing?” He asks. You slide down onto your knees and his eyes widen when you slide your hands up his clothed thighs. He rests his hands at his sides, letting you do this even though he knows he shouldn’t let you. “Do you even know what you’re getting yourself into?” He smirks down at you. You glare up at him, that same bratty attitude showing through.

John never thought he’d see the day, you’re pouting because he won’t take your virginity.

You nibble at your lip nervously as you unbutton his jeans, they needed to be washed because he smelled like gear oil and dust but something about him, dirty hands, messed up hair since he’d discarded his beanie somewhere between here and there. He looked messy and that’s enough to want him. Aside from the fact that he’s who he is. The first man that’s ever put his hands on you, drew fire into your skin and put it out with his cold touch. You’re zoned out as you work his cock from his jeans, thinking about that day on his boat. What he did to you. What he started. He lit a fire inside of you that day, made you crave him. You can’t sleep without thinking of him. Can’t eat without imagining him and his tongue and the way he devoured you like it was the tastiest meal ever put in front of him.

His fingers moving through you expertly, painting out the finest art, drawing the sweetest symphony from your lips and calming the harshest ocean brewing in your stomach with just a swirl of his tongue.

Your breath hitches in your throat when you reveal him to you for the first time and you’re realizing exactly why he’s said what he said.

You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.

But there’s some beauty in the unknown right?

You take the tip of his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue over the tip, and his eyes widen. A gasp leaves his lips as you suck gently on the tip, taking him further and further with each bob of your head. “Huh- oh fuck-“ he breathes. Hands clutching at the cushions of his couch. You’re nervous to do something wrong, worried about hurting him.

The lewd noises coming from your lips as you suck him harder, his eyebrows raising as you cup his balls, showing them some attention too. He lets his head rest back onto the couch. Wrapping a hand in your hair, guiding you to take him further down. “You’re so pretty.” He breathes. “Such a good girl, could fool me with how good you are at this.” He smiles, knowing his praises egg you on more and more. He rests one of his arms over the back of his couch and when you look up at him, pretty eyes, gleaming with need. He’s got his answer.

He pushes you off of him, nearly busting right then and there with that look in your eyes. He lifts you up, helping you wrap your thighs around his waist. He holds you into him, only one arm wrapped around your back. He walks with you back into his bedroom. The walls are a dark grey color, silk sheets to match. He has dark curtains that keep the daylight out and he sets you down on the edge of his bed. He grasps the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head. You don’t fully register what’s going on, but excitement settles into your stomach because a part of you knows what he’s going to do to you. “I can’t imagine fumbling a girl like you.” He breathes. Pushing you back onto his bed. “I just realized through all of this I haven’t even kissed those pretty lips yet, such an asshole of me.” He breathes. He hovers over you, leaning into you and kissing you. He holds a hand over your throat, not putting an pressure against you but holding you still as he attacks your lips with his. You’re a mess, turned on and desperate for him. His facial hair scratches you, leaving a permanent burn behind as he pulls away. He cups your breasts through your dress, massaging them gently. He kisses your bare chest, moans slipping passed your lips. He pushes your dress up onto your hips, pulling you forward so that he can help you take it off. He missed the sight of you, exposed to him. “If I would’ve been your age, had a chance to be with a girl like you…” he trails off, shaking his head with a laugh as he pushes your legs apart. “I would worship the fucking ground you walk on darling, and you’re telling me they’re out here- insulting the sexiest parts of you..” he kisses down your stomach, the attraction you feel for him is overwhelming, you want his hands on you.

You want him between your legs.

Your wishes are granted as he presses a gentle kiss to your clit and a whimper leaves your lips. At long last, he’s finally touching you again. Panties pulled to the side.

It doesn’t last long. He laps at your entrance with his tongue for just a couple minutes before he’s pulling away, licking his lips. “If I do this..” he breathes, moving himself up the bed once more. “You can’t take it back.”

You nod your head. “I know.” You whimper. He sighs.

He’s an awful friend. An awful person.

He pushes his jeans down the rest of the way, pulling your panties down your legs, discarding everything between the both of you, in the way of him taking what’s his.

“I’m a little out of practice. I have nothing..” he breathes. “It’s okay.” You look up at him.

He spits in his hand, slicking up the tip of his cock. Pushing your legs up on him and brushing the tip of his cock over your opening. Your heart is pounding in your chest, pumping blood through you at a rapid rate. “I’m going to hurt you okay? You just have to get through it once and I promise I won’t hurt you anymore.” You nod your head. “I trust you John. It’s okay.”

He’s such a scumbag. He’s got to be at his lowest. He shouldn’t be doing what he’s doing.

But he can’t pull away from you. He’s too far gone.

He pushes the tip of his cock through your folds and you clutch hard at the bed as he starts to slide himself into you more. He’s surprised how easy it is despite the way you’re clamping down around him. “Fuck.. you’re so wet pretty girl.” He gasps. A whimper leaves your lips as he slides deeper, a sob leaving your lips as he wraps his arms tight around you and burying himself into you in one deep thrust. You’re shaking a little bit, he knows it hurt. Knows how uncomfortable you are. Tears are gathering in your eyes, filling up the channel of your tear ducts. “It’s okay darling. It’s over.” He breathes. He nudges your cheek with his nose, kissing you as an attempt to soothe you. You’re panting hard, biting your lip.

That’s it.

His cock is nestled inside the tight cavern between your legs. He’s taken it.

He slides out of you, and you clutch at his blanket, whimpering out. Tears stream down your cheeks. “It’s alright baby. You’ll get used to me. Just relax.” He kisses you again, rocking his hips into yours. He’s going slow, letting you get used to the way your walls wrap around him. It takes a few minutes but eventually, you’re pushing him away from you slightly, widening your legs so that you could see him, all of him. His cock is wet, a little bit of your blood from the tear but mostly your arousal and you’re watching him slide into you.

“Oh my god-“ you whimper. “I.. I feel so full.” You cry. He chuckles at your reaction. “Yeah.. you’re taking all of me.” He smiles. Pushing your thighs up so that you could see him disappear inside of you, burying his cock to the hilt. “Fuck.. I can’t believe.. you just took my-“ you moan out when he picks up his pace. “Your pussy is so fucking sweet.” he shakes his head, in complete disbelief that someone could feel this good. He speeds up his pace even more, you can’t keep yourself together at the feeling of him. You’re a mess, moaning out, whimpering his name. Just like he imagined you would be. He rests his hand on your lower stomach, holding you steady. He lowers his hand, pressing the pad of thumb against your clit, smiling at how swollen it is. You’re so horny, so needy for him. He rubs gentle circles into it, knowing how easy you’re going to get overstimulated. “You’re such a brat.” He chuckles. “My spoiled little brat. Can’t make yourself cum so you have me do it all for you.” Your eyes are closed and your head is tilted back but you’re smiling. “Are you complaining?” You giggle. “Not at all.”

A gasp leaves your lips as he pushes down on your clit harder. Feeling your hips squirm away from his touch. He feels you clench down around him, and he knows you’ve got to be close. He tilts his head back, adams apple bobbing as he swallows hard, he’s got a death grip on your thighs. “John!” You mewl. “That’s it baby. Cum for me. Cum on my cock.” He breathes.

Those 4 words, you’ve heard in every filthy movie you’ve ever seen, never imagined that you’d ever hear them for yourself, from John Price, your dads best friend of all people. You’re tumbling over that abrupt edge, coming around him with the loudest moan you’re sure you’ve ever let out. You’re clamping hard down around him. Pussy pulsing around him. It’s the hardest you think you’ll ever cum, vision going white. John shivers at the tightness of you, barely remembering to pull out of you as he reaches his own orgasm, gritting his teeth as he coats your stomach in thick white ropes of his cum.

He relaxes, taking in deep breaths. “Fucking hell.” He pants.

He smiles, turning his head away from you to hide the way he blushes at the sight of you. Watery eyes, swollen lips. Your cheeks are flushed red. You look completely fucked out.

He lays next to you, calming himself down.

He helps you get cleaned up and holds you close to him for a few hours, talking about random things until your eyes are growing heavy. “How about we go get you tucked in Ah?” He smiles. He’s let you borrow one of his shirts, and you swim in it. It smells like him.

You nod your head. “I want you to stay but.. we’d both fall asleep and your dad would freak out.” He laughs. You smile at him. “Damn right he would. Thank you for working on my car John.” You smile. He leads you out to his garage once more. “No problem. If it has anymore issues just let me know. I’ll take care of you.” He kisses your lips one more time before you climb inside. He opens the garage door and you pull out, giving him a small wave.

His touch lingers on you, traces of his fingers where they permanently etched into your skin.

This was a night you’ll never forget.

@sonyanightmare @kou00 @queen-ilmaree

[naturepointstheway]

Should You Boop That CATS Cat?

Munkustrap: Depends: is he in the middle of a stressful play renactment a la Pekes and Pollicles? No. Is he taking a rare break and cuddling the kittens? Sure. He might even boop you back (we all want a boop from Munk, don't lie.) Rum Tum Tugger: Hell yeah, boop the Tugger! Mistoffelees: All Mistos are boopable Mistos. Macavity: YOU WANT DEATH? Old Deuteronomy: Yes. It is law. You must boop the Old Doot. Skimbleshanks: All train dads are boopable train dads. Yes. Boop the Skimble. Alonzo: You are welcome to try. Victoria: Yes. Absolutely. Plato: He might be a little confused by it, but sure. Boop the Plato. Especially 1998 Plato. Bustopher Jones: I beg your pardon? What is the meaning of this "boop" nonsense? Gus: He's too dignified and important for a boop, he will decline your offer. Coricopat: He'll just stare at you like what are you doing. Unless it's 1998!Coricopat, because he is VERY boopable. Tantomile: She will back away from you, staring into your soul the whole time. Best not push it. Asparagus Jr: He'll ask what the heck you're doing. But he'll tolerate a boopo. Pouncival: He'll keep pouncing out of reach, so you have to work for the privilege to catch him long enough to boop him. Tumblebrutus: He's a big boy, boops are for *kittens*. Mungojerrie: What's a boop? Can I steal that? Rumpleteazer: She welcomes all the boops! Boop the Teazer! Grizabella: Maybe wait till the very end of the show. A boop to take with her to the Heaviside Layer. George: Yes. He is very boopable. Even as the Rumpus Cat. Electra: Yes. Absolutely. Boop! Etcetera: She'll start a boop war with you and she'll be giggling her heart out the whole time. Demeter: She's likely touch averse and might be startled by it. Once you explain, she might let you. Bombalurina: She's too good for you, she will decline a boop, thank you. JennyAnyDots: She'll tolerate a boop. Just one boop. Jellylorum: Like Jenny, she'll tolerate a boop. She might even give you one back if you ask nicely. Jemima/Sillabub: IT IS THE 11TH COMMANDMENT. MOSES TOLD ME HIMSELF. THOU SHALT BOOP THE JEMIMA/SILLABUB.

[linka-from-captain-planet]

Florrickology, Part 4: Florrick, Wyll, Ulder, and Character Assassination

We all know it, we all hate it. They did my beloved dirty, used her to shit all over Wyll's quest at what should be a climactic moment, and I will never forgive never forget it.

In Act 3, if Wyll rejects Mizora's offer to rescue his father from the Iron Throne in favor of keeping his pact broken, Florrick will ambush the party, inform them that "Lady Mizora" told her what he did, and seek retribution unless talked down.

This is stupid, makes no sense, assassinates Florrick's character for no good reason, and represents some of Larian's laziest NPC writing--unsurprisingly, in the midst of Wyll's personal quest, and smack dab in what's supposed to be the climax of one of the longest quests in the game.

As I said in previous posts, Florrick being willing to go to the mat for Ulder any day or time of the week is consistent with her other characterization.

Up to the point of this confrontation, the player has observed that she'll follow Ulder to literal hell and back, chase him across half a continent, and become so disappointed in her perceived failure to save him and, by extension, the entire city, that she completely gives up and quietly awaits execution, without even trying to escape (which she probably could do, as a level 11, probably Enchantment School wizard).

All her voice lines and all the things others say about her paint the picture of a loyal and true-blue friend, and a public servant of the highest caliber, "as steady as Tyr's heartbeat" and "as upstanding as the Sword Mountains." She may be sharp and shrewd, and perhaps a bit domineering and curt, but she's not cruel. She may be a bit cavalier, but she's never rash.

She's not stupid. She may be more emotional than she seems.

She has killed someone before, on the spot, for coming after Ulder. It's consistent that she would do it again, even if she had to hunt them down this time and risk being caught by the Steel Watch. In her mind, she has nothing left to lose.

What is not consistent is her being willing to kill Wyll on a flimsy accusation (that she doesn't even really believe if you read her thoughts).

Now as I've mentioned, Florrick doesn't seem to feel any particular way about Wyll; she seems to regard him simply as her friend and boss' son, just a good kid she patted on the head at parades, and when they meet again in Waukeen's Rest, as a valuable asset in rescuing Ulder and saving the city.

And I like this! It highlights that Ulder was Wyll's entire world, and it was Ulder, alone, who failed him and cast him aside. I think this is also part of why there's never any indication that Florrick and Ulder are/were romantically involved, because this would change the expectations for how she treats/feels about Wyll. But as it stands, simply being a woman in the vicinity of a child, even one in need, didn't obligate her to be a mother.

And this the feeling is mutual. In-game, there's also no indication that Wyll had or desired had any sort of personal relationship with her, as he talks about her accomplishments but not, say, seeking her out for advice or spending time with her. He mentions crushing on Stellmayne, but when asked about Florrick, he goes right to "yeah she fucks, she sniped a guy right in front of me once." He only regards her in relation to his father and the city, never himself. She's his dad's confidant and advisor, and an exemplary public servant, but nothing in particular to him.

So, it's not how Florrick feels about Wyll that makes it out of character for her to attack him, but because of how she knows Ulder feels about Wyll.

She says herself, when talked down in that confrontation, that Ulder wanted her to find Wyll and pass his birthright on if he fell, because as many mistakes as Ulder made, and as wrong as he was, and as unacceptable as his behavior was, in the end, he trusted his boy with the fate of his beloved city.

So, Florrick would never betray Ulder by attacking his son, without irrefutable evidence, especially when she'd been told explicitly to trust and help Wyll by the person she respects and reveres the most in the entire world.

As one of the most prominent NPCs in the game, appearing with a fairly significant role in all three acts, and who's been demonstrated to be an unquestionable heroic figure all along, Florrick deserved better than what she got in this blatantly lazy, formulaic scene.

And that's the answer to the question of 'why is this scene so bad?' - lazy, formulaic writing.

That's also probably the answer to any 'why is this Act 3 moment and/or NPC interaction so clunky?' question. This confrontation is Like That because it's how every every NPC Confrontation is: someone is willing to kill you for variably logical reasons, unless you talk your way out of it, and the end result is only nominally different, so it was pointless from the jump. It's the illusion of drama and conflict and a plot twist, not real drama and conflict and plot twist. Of course she (andWyllcoughcough) isn't safe from the "uh oh this game isn't done but we're shipping it anyway so we better make this story beat messy, both under-and over-whelming, and confusing to match the overall tone of Act 3" curse.

So you might then move on to, "okay, well, what's the in-universe explanation for this? How can we make it make sense, considering what we know about Florrick?"

I won't give them credit for implying anything they didn't bother to imply, even though they could have gone several other routes with about 2 lines of better dialogue and a simple animation. So, I think the only true, canonical reason Florrick does this is exactly what's presented in the text. She was approached by "Lady" Mizora, a stranger, told a lie, only half-believed it, slapped a fuckass hood on over her very distinctive freakum dress, went on the hunt, and ambushed the party in front of like 50 human, 5 cat, and 3 Steel Watch witnesses even though she's a fugitive marked for execution.

That's it. There's no further context. Again, nothing implied. As you can tell by this entire series, I will read into anything, and there's simply nothing to read into here.

No indication that Mizora charmed or is controlling Florrick, a simple explanation that could have been easily been introduced with about 1 line, a special effect, and a mocap of her "snapping out of it."

No revelation that "Lady" Mizora has been posing as a patriar and pulling strings in Baldur's Gate for the last seven years, working closely with and maybe kissin haha jk... unless Florrick, making it perfectly reasonable why she'd believe Mizora over Wyll, who's been not only missing BUT cavorting with devils for those same seven years, which is ironic because Florrick had unknowingly been doing the same thing (juicy!). (more thoughts on this)

There's not even really a feeling that Florrick, who again did all that mentioned above for Ulder and her city, is simply just so heartbroken and grieving and demoralized that she's experiencing a mental breakdown and a critical lapse in judgement, grasping at anything to make it make sense or to make her feel in control again, even if she has her doubts deep down. Again, this could have easily been written in with a few lines and some body language. I feel like this is what they thought they did, but the fact is they didn't even though it would have been easy and cost basically 0 extra resources or time.

Clearly, this scene got rubber-stamped because they (painfully correctly) assumed that nobody would care about Wyll's storyline at this point, and his supporting character Florrick with it. They probably just figured that we'd all forget how wack it was when we continued the quest and got gagged by the Emporer being a gay dragon-fucker and also Balduran.

So, what would have made this scene/part of the quest better?

To be clear, better is a pretty low bar as the canonical version full-on sucks. The above suggestions are only what could have made this specific scene (Florrick Confronts Wyll About Killing His Father) better. But really, Wyll's quest, as we all know, needs an overhaul. So, below is what's overall needed to make Wyll's entire quest in Act 3 better.

maintain Florrick's characterization (this post is about Florrick after all)

give Wyll a chance to be a hero in his own story

actually utilize Mizora, who's truly been pretty pointless all this time

provide a sense of stakes--it has to matter what happens

get everything the fuck away from that fucking magic show

I had a whole alternative Act 3 storyline written to suggest, Boss Fight Mizora Avernus and all, but realized just before posting that it doesn't work because it ends with Wyll destroying his pact, and he does sort of need that to remain a warlock for the endgame (being forced to re-class at the 11th hour would be a bit of a bold move). But trust me it was cool and better than what we got.

[remember-the-fanfics]

You Got Wings!

In which the wings won the poll so now Genz!Overlord!Reader with wings

• You have wings! Bird wings! Any color

• You can make them disappear when you want but you'll only do that if it inconvenients you or people around you like in a meeting.

• You had to find a book on how to take of birds to figure out how to take care of them

• Learning how to fly was a struggle before you were an Overlord because everyone thought you were an easy target when you fell from the sky.

• You finally got the hang of it after becoming an Overlord, now flying anywhere.

• Your wings will reflect your emotions,

• Happy? They are up and fluffier. You usually run around who or what making you happy for a minute.

• Sad? They are lowerer, you have to make sure the don't drag and catch on something sometimes.

• Anger? Flared out, ruffled. Makes you look bigger than you are.

• Have only offered flights to your close friends, most like to stay on the ground.

• Charlie is the only one who will aways go for a flight, reminds her of her dad.

• You only flown with Vaggie once, while still inside the hotel.

• She thanked you and said hights just weren't for her.

• You noticed she had a sad look in her eyes.

• No one let's you fly with Niffty anymore.

"I thought I left a note."

"You were gone for 3 days!"

• They'll never know what the two of you did and why you were gone for so long

• Alastor doesn't like being touch so he wouldn't let you have flights with him.

• But will watch you fly from the balcony while drinking his tea

• Will ask you about the weather when you come back

• Has tried to get you to eat bird seed

• Angel Dust is just to tall and lanky to hold while flying.

• You tried, about broke one of you wings.

"Sorry!"

" 'is fine but help me up, yeah?"

• Husk will never fly with you, always to busy being the bartender.

• You give him sad puppy eyes everytime he says no.

• Sir Pentious doesn't trust you enough not to drop him

• It's not your fault he's just so slippery

• But let's you carry the Egg Boys

• Banned from trying to carry all of them at once

• When Charlie wants to put up a banner or something up high, it's usually you with Razzle and Dazzle.

• When you get to busy, forgetting to take care of your wings

• Which makes it a hassle when you're not busy.

• Husk has helped you before when you are just completely struggling with it

"Stay still!"

"I'm trying!"

• You get really upset if you accidentally hit someone with you wings

• Getting a sad face instantly, apologising quickly.

• Everyone at the hotel forgives you quickly

• You hides your wings for the next few days so it wouldn't happen again

• Charlie quickly tells you that your wings are fine. That you don't mean to hit anyone when you do.

• Then Angel Dust sqared you that they popped out ruffled and ready to fly

"See you didn't hit me then when you had a reason to so stop hiddin' them."

• You've ended up napping in front of a window multiple times because the sun feels so nice on your wings

• Plus along with the sun, you don't even need a cover to nap with, your wings can do it.

• After fighting some dumbass sinners trying to harass your people, which they injured one of your wings.

• Needing to go to the only other person you knew with wings for help but you can't just be seen as an injured Overlord walking where others could try to fight you more.

• So you call Charlie, the only one you knew that had a car in hell.

• After the awkward conversation of telling you were injured, her panicking, telling her not to panic, and then hearing her tell Razzle and Dazzle to get the car and that she'll be right over.

• Half the hotel decided to come as well

• Charlie, Vaggie, and Husk, along with Razzle and Dazzle.

• They will get you in the car as quickly and comfortable as possible, trying not to get you more hurt.

• Husk will quickly try and bandage your wing the best he can while Vaggie and Charlie ask the who, what, why, and hoe.

• Charlie had to hold Vaggie back from finding the ones who injured you and hurting them more than you already had.

• Telling Vaggie that they were already taken care off then having to clarify that you didn't kill them.

"See I'm fine!"

"You really aren't."

"...I'm better than I was 5 minutes ago."

• The next week while being at the hotel everyone hovered over you, making sure you didn't try and overwork yourself.

• Which you would have tried if Charlie hadn't locked you out of your room/office.

• Husk would check on your wing and make sure it heals correctly.

• After it's healed, you had to get use to fly again.

[glittergelpensblog]

Tired (Cassian x Reader)

Request: cassian x pregnant reader???

Word Count: 655

Just a little Cassian fluff!

You yawned as you flipped another page of your book, slumping at your desk. You were working while you waited for Cassian to arrive home from a day visit to Windhaven, your eyes tired from studying and researching ancient magic, trying to help Rhysand find a way to defeat Koschei.

But the day had long past, and it was nearing Midnight. You briefly thought of studying on your couch, then disregarded it, knowing the cozy cushions and the warmth of the fireplace would lull you to sleep. You wanted to be awake when Cassian got home, itching to see your mate.

It had been a while since he had gotten home this late. When you had told your family that you were pregnant, Rhysand had cut a lot of Cassian's trips, sending Azriel instead. He knew what it was like to have a pregnant mate, the overprotectiveness and the constant need to be near them.

And overprotective Cassian was. You were rarely left alone, even while he was gone. You spent most days studying with Amren in the River House, or in the garden while Elain worked, sometimes you would even sprawl your books on the day bed in Feyre's studio while she painted.

While it could be suffocating sometimes, you never fought Cassian. You knew he was worried, especially with what happened to Feyre while she was pregnant with Nyx.

You took another sip of your tea, grabbing your pen as you scribbled some notes about the dark magic, shuddering at the illustrations on the page.

You were brought from your thoughts as you heard the creaking of the floorboards, looking up from your desk to see your mate, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

"Why are you up so late?"

You stood, adjusting your blanket on your shoulders as you made your way across the room. "I was waiting for you," you reached him, wrapping your arms around him, cocooning the both of you in the blanket.

Cassian smiled, warmth spreading across his chest from the bond as he gently rubbed circles into your lower back. "C'mon, lets get to bed," He murmured, placing a gentle kiss on the top your head.

"I'm not tired," You pulled away, frown on your face.

"Why don't I believe you?"

"I don't know, I'm actually kind of hurt," You teased, "My own mate doesn't trust me,"

Cassian laughed, grabbing your hand and guiding you towards your room. "You need rest, you've been working too much lately. I feel like you're stressing yourself."

"Maybe, but what else am I supposed to do? I can't sit aside and do nothing while Koschei is out there, doing Cauldron knows what."

"I know, I know," You were in the bedroom now, Cassian gently helping you climb into the bed. It was a tall bed, and getting into it was a slight struggle before, but with your bump, it had become a fight to do it by yourself.

You laid on your back as he snuggled against you, laying his head on your chest and rubbing his hand over your belly. "How is she?"

"She's been kicking all day," You two had decided that you were having a girl a few weeks after you had found out about the pregnancy, "And she's playing this fun little game where she jumps on my bladder. I almost pissed myself in a meeting with Rhys."

"Are you giving mommy a hard time already?" Cassian chuckled at your stomach.

"She's gonna be a little fighter, just like her dad."

"Hell yeah she will be, she'll be training with Daddy and Uncle Az all the time, she's gonna be a little baddass,"

You hummed in agreement, smiling as you closed your eyes in content. Cassian was going to be an amazing father, you could see it in the way he treats you, in the way he plays with Nyx. He was so gentle, so caring for you and your family.

You slowly drifted to sleep, breathing slowing down into sync with the circles Cassian was gently massaging into your abdomen.

" 'I'm not tired' my ass." Cassian mocked your sleeping form, conjuring the soft fae lights to dim.

______________________________________________________________

Tag list: @lizziesfirstwife @waytoomanyteenagefeels @starryhiraeth @knmendiola @bionic-donut @caosfanblr @lena-davina @starriestarlight @younxii @starsdoulikedem @lucyysthings @esposadomd @naturakaashi @carolinaflicker @missusbarnes-rogers @vlysseve @lollipop974 @whydohumansss @spaxxxi @graciereads @dumb-sailor-jay @jesssicapaniagua @we-were-beautiful @judig92 @littlemisslovestoread @toriluvsfics @nightless @cassiefromhell

I'm sorry, I don't know why it won't let me take some of you :(

[billlydear]

Touch starved Billy Hargrove ✨a concept✨

HC - TOUCH STARVED BILLY HARGROVE

W.C 1680 - INBOX (please request !) - CREDIT TO GIF OWNER

mmm not touch starved billy, love starved billy. he gets plenty of skin-on-skin. a backhand or a shove from his dad, a quick fuck in the backseat of his car, hell, why do you think he takes his shirt off to play basketball, a contact sport? he wants to feel touch, he's just never been given a kind one.

and that's where you come in :) from the very first date you're already shyly reaching for his hand, slipping your fingers between his over the vinyl table of the small diner you're eating at

you watch carefully for his reaction, and he's not really able to hide his shock, he kind of goes stiff. so you're worried you've overstepped, and you start to draw back with an awkward apology, but just before you can pull your hand away completely, he tightens his grip, and squeezes your hand, holding it in place.

“Don’t apologize.” Normally that would be said in a teasing, lighthearted tone. But instead his face is strangely intense, eyes shining under the low lights of the diner.

then it escalates from hand holding to a hug. He drops you off at your front step, and instead of just staying in the car, he walks you up. It’s a pretty cliched first kiss scene, you tell him you had a good time and he agrees with a dazzling smile. There’s a slow, heart-racing lean-in, hitched breath and an eager shine in your eyes, and then he kisses you so soft, you’re not even sure he’s there. He’s not really about special first kisses, preferring to tongue a girl behind the gym. But when your hand comes up to press gently, softly against his cheek, he knows he’s addicted to kindness, soaking it up like a sponge and letting the excess compel him to hold your waist.

he’s not handsy like he normally would be, he keeps his hands firmly planted there while you kiss. It’s soft, slow, sweet, and it feels like waking from a daydream as his pretty blue eyes flutter open to stare into yours.

“Goodnight, Billy.” You whisper, and he’s a goner.

there’s tenderness in your voice, your touch, your gaze, and he lays awake that night thinking about it. It warms him up, knowing that you’d treated him like you care. Maybe you do, maybe you dont, but the feeling is intoxicating, and he doesn’t feel as perpetually angry at the world that night

max notices a change after that. Neil shouts at him, tells him he’s good for nothing, weak, disappointing, and instead of slamming his door and blasting music, probably kicking the bed frame, he offers her a ride to the arcade.

"What?" / "A ride, dipshit, I'm going out and I'll drop you on the way."

and the most insane part, he doesn't even bitch at her in the car. she sits silently and so does he, and when she gets out, he says he'll get her at 8. no threats, no name-calling, just 'i'll pick you up at 8'.

when she gets in the car at 8:10, she's absolutely certain she'll be griped at for being late. but he backs out of the spot, and even asks her about the slap bracelet she'd won inside.

"You get that in there?'"/ "Yeah. I had enough tickets so..." / "What?"

She squints hard at his face while they're stopped at a light, and his own face scrunches in displeasure, "What is it?"

"Are you wearing chapstick?"

The light turns green, and he punches it hard, only remembering to slow down as he pulls his lips between his teeth to lick them. she doesn't ask again, but she spots a tube of it on the ground, strawberry flavored, and definitely not hers.

billy had taken you to the drive-in, and apparently it had fallen out of your pocket when you'd leaned over the center to kiss him. he brought it back to you the next day, knocking at your door and greeting your mother who surprisingly loved him. he wasn't really sure how to react to that, because no girl's mother has ever liked him before, but he's welcomed in and finds you in your room, folding laundry.

he spends the entire day with you, a saturday, just being with you. you teach him how to fold laundry your way, and he definitely teases you about the bras and underwear he finds. in retaliation you whack him with a pillow, and he pretends to be greatly injured after the attack, sprawled out over your bed with his tongue out in a cartoonish display of death

you straddle his waist, peering down at his minutely-fluttering eyelashes. you take his face in your hands, gently, sweetly, and turn it to face you, watching as his pretty blue eyes make a reappearance. he's staring at you, and he looks almost nervous, but he could easily push you off it he wanted to, and he doesn't, so you take that as a good sign.

you trace his features, fingers grazing over the tip of his nose and down through the crease of his chin, just below his lips. then beneath his eyes, along his cheekbones, and smoothing over his forehead. he watches you breathlessly the entire time, a thin layer of tears glossing over his eyes.

when you notice them you stop, nervous that you'd upset him. you ask him what's wrong, hovering over his face only inches away

"I love you." He murmurs, reaching up to cup your cheek.

it's breathless, it's passionate, and it's.. a little early. but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel it. he's just quicker to figure out when he loves someone 'cause he doesn't very often, so it's a new feeling that sticks out to him.

now that he's said it for the first time, watch out.

he's gonna say it 24/7, any opportunity. you hand him a chip? he leans over to bite it out of your hand and goes 'I love you'. he hands you a chip? when you reach for it he'll hold it out of your reach, wait 'till you look at him like wtf? and then say 'love you' with that shit-eating grin of his

he clings to you. his hand is always somewhere on your body, whether it be prying at your own and pulling it into his lap or laying around your shoulders, pressing your sides together

play. with. his. hair. seriously, scratch your nails through his hair, he'll purr like a kitten. brush it out right before his shower, give him a little head massage, that way you can mess up the curls and he'll just reform 'em. comb through it, braid it, put serums and products in it, anything as long as you're touching his scalp

i think he'd really appreciate forehead/cheek/nose kisses, of course he appreciates them on the lips too but it's different, casually intimate and sweet. he's addicted to kissing your cheek, he'll be walking beside you in the mall and yank you closer by where his arm is laid around your hip just to press his lips to your cheek

he kisses your forehead in bed, tugs you into his chest and leans down to press a kiss to your forehead. he might not even lean back up, he might just fall asleep with his face pressed to yours

he's.. obsessed with kissing. like, your lips are constantly swollen. of course he's game for a good steamy makeout session but mostly it's just lazy, slow, soft, sweet kisses, just laying together and swapping spit and touching each other, your leg thrown over his, your foreheads bumping together, his hand on your stomach

speaking of, he'll sleep with his hand under your shirt most nights, either flat and warm against your back or your stomach. and if you ever sneak your hand up his shirt to scratch up his back, he shivers. fully body shivers.

he loves loves loves it when you hold him in your sleep, sometimes he stays awake while you drift off just to watch you get comfy and unconsciously snuggle into his warmth. The first time you do it is while you’re watching a movie on your couch and he misses the last half of the film because he’s just watching you sleep peacefully all snuggled into him

he’s not only grateful that you’re his safe space, but he’s amazed that he seems to be your own. he’s never had a safe space before, even when his mama was around Neil was too. so being with someone he loves without any fear or anxiety is very meaningful to him. It means that when you pass out on his shoulder at the drive-in or let him cart you around to parties just as long as he keeps his arm around you the entire time, he recognizes that you feel safe with him, and that means more to him than he’ll ever be able to express

it’s why he takes such good care of you, he doesn’t ever want to let you down or be someone who fails you. the movie’s too loud and you’re starting to wake? he doesn’t need to see the end of it, the two mcs probably get together. he’ll just drive quietly and slowly back home and let you snooze in the parking lot. party getting too wild? he’ll take you out into the backyard and sit on the porch swing with you, smoke a cig and blow it away from you, let your head fall onto his shoulder with his arm around your waist.

your touch grounds him. he feels safe, secure, loved, supported, happy, and content all at once when he’s touching you, even if he’s just knocking his foot into yours from under the lunch table.

Billy may get touched a lot, but not loved, so when you come into his life, a beacon of all things sweet, he’s going to bask in it, soaking up your love like a big sappy sponge and letting it heal his wounds

[anon-imuz]

Yandere Jotaro X ex girlfriend mother of Jolyne reader

okay okay sorry for making you wait so much anon 😔😔

Pairing: Yandere! Jotaro Kujo x Ex girlfriend! Jolyne's mother! Reader

Warnings: Yandere behavior, threatening

Type:Angst

Notes: I DONT SUPPORT any warning listed above, this is fiction. English isn't my first language so there might be some spelling mistakes. hope you enjoy :))

On your way back from home, it was rainy and foggy so you drove carefully, safely arriving to your home and running inside.

You weren't feeling particularly well today, maybe because of the bad weather, so you decided to take a nice hot shower, make yourself a warm dish and eat it in bed while watching some TV.

As you scrolled trough some series, you found one that you started but didn't finish. It was about a young girl having a hard childhood because her parents divorced when she was a child and she had little to no friends. It reminded you of your ex, Jotaro, and that's probably the reason you didn't want to finish it.

But since there was nothing else to watch, you decided to just continue it and stop thinking about that jerk. How evil of him, he left you and your baby girl alone, and when she comes over to give you a visit and tells you about her dad, you don't know how to react.

You continued to watch the series and eat your soup in a cozy warm pajamas, while also hearing the sounds of the rain. All of a sudden, all the lights go off. You get scared at first, but then place your soup down and get your slippers on, to go check outside what had happend.

You grab your umbrella and quickly open the door, then the umbrella, as you walk to the back of your house to check electrical panel.

You didn't feel safe and instantly wanted to get inside your house again but just kept going.

When you arrived to the panel, you opened it but you felt someone walking behind you. You thought it was just some stupid hallucination because your fever level was kind of high so you quickly start to work with the panel to check what was going on.

When you felt the last step super close to you, they stopped but you didn't even realize since you were too busy working with the panel. When you had everything set, you were about to turn around but then you saw a tall man standing behind you.

You couldn't see his face so you tilted your umbrella a bit higher only to then feel your heart stop. It was your ex.

You both stare at each other in silence, but he breaks it.

"Y/N." he calls your name, but you were just staring at him with your eyes wide,thinking of a good threat to make him go away.

"W-what the hell are you doing in my property?! Get out or I'll call the authorities right now!..." He interrupts you with a light laugh and a fake smile.

You think of something better.

"... A-and I'm also sick! Yeah! So if you don't want to get high fever, just- go away and leave me alone!" You said, hoping that he'd go away.

"Is there a better excuse you can think of?" He asks, as you watch him in fear while some droplets fall from his hat.

You had to defend yourself from him, so you just tried to hit him with your umbrella, but as soon ad it got close to his face, it snapped in a half.

"You're so cute. I didn't realize what I had lost when I left you... But well, now I'm here to get you back..." He says, pausing himself to put his cold hand on your hot cheek,

"…Jolyne will be so happy when she'll hear us say that her mom and dad got back together. Don't you think?" He asks you, but you don't answer, it felt like you were totally freezed and couldn't move.

"I promise we'll be happy together and I'll take good care of you," He pauses himself again, picking you up, placing your face very close to his.

"Just me and you. You'll regret all the years you've spent alone, here without me. We will together forever... after all, it's for our daughter, right? She deserves the best, so we'll give it to her." He says, with a malicious smile on his face.

[dreamwreaver]

I completely agree, Vaggie and Charlie are really each other's antithesis and it's executed BADLY. The show doesn't do anything meaningful with their differences, if anything, it makes it starker. Their communication is terrible, they are not at all in sync with each other's needs and the only time they ever got actual development was when they separated to seek help for the battle with the exorcist, in which, they had more chemistry with their respective mentors than they ever had with each other (I honestly ship Vaggie and Carmilla a little after their spar, like come on, one time Carmilla lets her hair down, an act of vulnerability in some cultures, was with Vaggie and Vaggie also got her wings back after that fight too. Not to mention, they had a whole ass song together despite not meeting yet before the Chaggie song and has plus points for being original unlike Chaggie's song so Vamilla/Battleangel is a decent ship for me.)

Vaggie may say that she'll do anything for Charlie but she sure as hell won't let Charlie sing and have a deal with the same guy she had a deal back in episode 1. She also seems to forgot that her girlfriend is a grown-ass woman who can thrive on without her while she can't because she thinks she's worth nothing without Charlie. It's sad, really.

I'm honestly curious on what you'd discuss further on how Vaggie would have never let Charlie in but Charlie didn't think to knock, can you please share?

Ngl, while it's not an s-tier ship for me because I do adore zestmilla, battle angel is indeed an underrated pairing and tbh? At the very least Vaggie deserved to have an obsessive lesbian crush on Carmilla. I know it was allegedly planned for her to have an obsession with weapons and it got cut for time or other reasons. Whatever, more stripping of Vaggie's character and turning her into a bland nonentity so she doesn't compete for attention with literally everyone else.

As for your question; I would like to refer back to Charlie's rant at Alastor during their cannibal town date. No I will not be taking arguments on that, that's precisely what it was.

"Three years, three YEARS I've been sharing my life with her and I tell her EVERYTHING! My hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my embarrassing habits, what fucking DEODORANT I like! And she keeps something, like THIS from ME! Why would she lie for so long? Did she think I wouldn't accept her? What about me, ME, says un-understanding?"

And if you watch her body language during this whole rant it's less emotional hurt and more... ego hurt? Like, this whole upset has gone from "the person I love and trust more than anything has been lying to me about who they are," to, "I share everything about myself with her and should have been entitled to this information."

And yeah, I get it, she was made to look incredibly stupid in front of a heavenly council right before being blasted back to Hell with an entire exorcist army aimed right at her front door. Anyone might be justifiably upset that such important info was kept from them. But as Carmilla literally says not ten minutes later, "You have a giant X over your eye and wield an angelic spear, it's not rocket science."

So Carmilla was able to take literally ONE look at Vaggie and clock her origins? Going further, depending on how you interpret Lucifer's gaze in Dad Beat Dad upon meeting Vaggie it's entirely possible HE clocked her as angelic too. And yet, the person who spends the most time around her somehow couldn't connect those dots? Charlie's optimistic but she's not dumb. She's got a naive understanding of sinners and how best to incite change but to miss something like THAT? I don't buy that Vaggie would have been able to keep that secret so easily if Charlie had been paying as much attention to her partner as any good and healthy relationship should.

But let's backtrack a bit. The notion that Vaggie's off emotionally is established all the way back in episode 3. Remember when Charlie's trying to get the others psyched about trust exercises and Vaggie shows a considerable lack of enthusiasm? What was the first thing out of Charlie's mouth after that? Is it, "hey you seem like you've got something on your mind; are you okay?"

Nope! It's a very embarrassed/annoyed, "Vaggie, we rehearsed this!"

After which she proceeds to blindside Vaggie with the news that she's the one who's going to be leading the trust unit that day. Wow, for all they rehearsed this pitch Vaggie sure seems left out of the loop on it doesn't she? When Vaggie tries to explain without explaining that she's neither qualified nor comfortable about this decision does Charlie say, "well okay then, but if you change your mind just let me know,"? Wrong again! She just says, "It's easy I'm sure you can handle this."

And again, Vaggie is both unprepared and uncomfortable and also unable to say no to Charlie so she defaults into her military training and starts speaking to them like a commanding officer would to their troops. And I don't blame her for that, we tend to fall back on emulating behavior we've seen when we don't know how to cope with something. When trust falls don't work, Charlie tries to retake control but Vaggie puts on a brave face and says she has it when she clearly doesn't. As chaotic shenanigans ensue Vaggie grows more and more desperate but somehow it isn't until she's literally chucking people off a roof that Charlie figures this has gone too far. Not to mention she's incredibly surprised that COMBAT is how Vaggie learned to trust people. Forgive me if I'm wrong but you've been her partner for three years by later admission and you DIDNT know she came from a military background?

Not to mention Vaggie spells it all out in black and white, "I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm supposed to make your dreams a reality. I'm supposed to protect you. I'm supposed to never fail you" followed by, "If I can't help you, what's the point of me?"

Vaggie has serious issues with self worth, demonstrated here. And while I get Charlie is trying to respect boundaries to a certain point I cannot imagine that were I in her shoes I would leave my partner thinking that if they couldn't be useful they shouldn't be with me. And while to her credit Charlie does apologize, it feels a little pointless when the very next episode she's back to just ignoring what Vaggie says. Even then, that apology doesn't do much to address the real root of the issue. They work as a team? When and where is that EVER demonstrated? It's not a reassurance that Vaggie doesn't NEED to have some demonstrable use for Charlie to want to be with her. And even if it was Vaggie has already struck at the heart of their problem; she wants to be Charlie's armor AND her partner, but those positions cannot work in tandem. Because wanting to be someone's armor assumes they need protecting, and again I state, Charlie is a grown ass woman and one of the most powerful beings in all of hell. She was smart enough to avoid making a deal with Alastor in the pilot, why does Vaggie assume that Charlie NEEDS protecting? And a partner infers a level of equality that just isn't demonstrated in what we see of their relationship. There is no give and take with them supporting each other equally. It's vaggie either trying to draw blood from a stone to meet Charlie's unrealistic expectations, or Vaggie telling Charlie to alter core elements of her personality to appease her own subjects. And on the flip side; where does Charlie support Vaggie in anything resembling the way Vaggie supports Charlie?

Charlie pushed for Vaggie to come to Heaven with her because that was what SHE wanted. Even when Vaggie expressed her reluctance to go Charlie pushed and Vaggie folded even as she knew what ended up happening was a very real possibility. Why?

For all his bloodthirsty nature Alastor knows the political game way better than Vaggie does. Vaggie couldn't keep her shit together when Emily was just holding Charlie's hands and being friendly. That's not the type of partner a political figure should have, and whether she likes it or not as princess of hell Charlie's interwoven with the politics of hell. Being power hungry means Alastor has the genuine best advice for Charlie when it comes to handling bigwigs like the angels. And he's someone with an actual business interest in the hotel. Imagine someone asking him why he helps when he doesn't believe in redemption; and he tells them it's because he believes in Charlie. You don't hand someone the source of most of your power so easily if you do not have a sincere and earnest level of trust in them. And yet Al does it willingly, more than once.

I want to say that I don't hate Charlie or Vaggie. I just don't think they work well as a pairing because Vaggie gives too much and Charlie's more concerned with her people than her partner. And the lack of communication between the two of them is a real issue. Again, Vaggie might never have let Charlie in, but Charlie never thought to knock. She never thought to ask about Vaggie in any way that would suggest the sort of deep emotional love that the show so desperately wants us to believe they have.

And on some level, I think a good portion of the fandom feels it too. Seriously, run the numbers some time on just AO3; filter for the Chaggie tag, and then take out every other ship that those stories are actually about. The chaggie tag is filled with stories that are about someone else's relationship because beneath the surface there's nothing there.

[the-froschamethyst4]

Over the Net

𖤐Pairing: Single Father! König x Volleyball Coach! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: fluff, language, volleyball terminology, flirting, high school, badly translated German, a bit of an age gap, drinking,

𖤐Summary: König needed to pick up his daughter from Volleyball practice and he ends up meeting her coach for the first time

————

————

König sits in the parking lot waiting for his daughter to get done with Volleyball. Normally he would allow her to get a ride with one of her friends but after practice she had a physical therapy appointment.

She rolled her ankle, twisted her knee and ended up breaking her thumb all within a span of 4 weeks into the new season of Volleyball.

König was worried about Heidi. He told her to sit out for this season but nothing was going to stop her from playing and not only that her coach asked for her to be on the team.

He gets out of his car knowing they were going to be done soon. He stood in front of his car waiting, tapping his foot and then tapping his fingertips on his forearm.

“Come on, what’s going on?” König mumbled to himself. He was just being impatient because he’s never missed an appointment and he’s definitely not going to miss one now.

"Hey, you waiting as well?" Another father came up to König.

"Yeah, what's going on? Don't they usually finish as 5?"

"Yeah...I'm not sure either."

"THEY JUST SENT OUT THAT PRACTICE MAY BE A LITTLE BIT LONGER THAN EXPECTED!! MAYBE TILL 7?!" A mother yells from her car waving her phone.

"Oh okay, I'm going back home then," the father says getting back into his car. Not König.

"What," he groans. He needs to get Heidi so they could get her physical therapy done. He walks to the gym, seeing the one right door open and he could hear the sound of shoes squeaking on the gym floor.

He peaks his head into the building, he sees the girls running up and down the court, sweating, panting and tagging the next person to run up and down the court.

König could see Heidi, he could tell she was pushing herself to her limit, she sat on the gym floor, panting, wiping sweat from her forehead and taking a swig of her Gatorade.

"Heidi, is that your dad?" One girl bent down to Heidi's level pointing to the tall buff man walking in.

"What the hell is he doing here?" She mumbles before getting off the floor. "Dad-"

"Why's practice all of a sudden becoming longer? We have an appointment to get to, you know this."

"I can't control that, dad, it's up to my coach."

"Well where is he, I wanna talk to him," he says, looking around for an adult. He hears the whistle blow and all the girls stopped.

"TAKE A BREAK!!" A woman's voice called to her athletes. "Heidi, who's this?" She comes up to Heidi and her father.

"Coach Y/n, this is my father."

"Why don't you go get water, Heidi...can I help you?" She looks up at König.

"Well...I'm here to collect my daughter, she has an appointment for physical therapy-"

"I'm aware," she says, tapping her clipboard with her pen.

"You're aware of?"

"Her appointment, she told me..."

"And you made practice longer?" König was confused.

"I made practice longer for the girls who needed the help the most, Heidi says she would like to practice longer..."

"But...can I take her for today, and next practice she could stay the long time?"

"Sure, but she'll miss a new play we'll be going over."

"Why didn't you teach it during the first hour of practice?"

"Because Mr. King, the first hour we do review, second hour we do some scrimmaging, and third hour we go over new plays, this new longer hour, we are going to start doing some exercises and practice hits in between and then we start doing the new play for the court, now...can I do my job or are you going to tell my boss that I'm trying to make a better team?"

König was kind of shocked by Coach Y/n's sudden outburst. She seemed kind of frustrated as well, like ever since she made this longer practice, parents have been getting on her tail about it. EVEN SOME OF THE PARENTS ASKED FOR LONGER PRACTICE HOURS AND THEY STILL GET ON HER ASS ABOUT IT!

"I understand...completely I do...Heidi, come on, we need to get going, we can't be late..." König says as Heidi groans and Y/n just discreetly rolled her eyes.

----------

König sits in the waiting room of the Physical Therapist. He was mainly thinking about how that small woman has such a big temper. He's never really met anyone like that.

He leans back his head hitting against the wall behind him, his hand playing with the fluff of his daughters coat. Heidi soon comes walking out of the therapy room huffing and puffing taking her coat off König's lap.

"You ready?"

"Yep," she says, putting her coat on and König pats Heidi's head.

"What's up with that Coach of yours?"

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"She's got a temper on her."

"Only when she's frustrated," Heidi tells him. "And when we have games."

"I see," König says.

-----------

The Next Practice

Coach Y/n sits on the outside bleachers as the gym they usually use was being used by the male basketball team. So, they were booted to the outdoor court, where the girls had to wear their knee pads, just in case.

Y/n hates this court because half of the time most of the girls will scrap their knees and Y/n has asked the school so many times for a little sand pad for the girls, if they will have to practice outside then why can't they be more comfortable in sand and brace their falls versus the concrete.

"Careful!" Y/n yells as some of the girls landed on the concrete almost half her team had sat out because of their knees and or feet hurting.

Heidi groans as her hands were on her knees, she sat on because of her bad knee hurting her, so she barely practiced. Y/n then blew her whistle getting the girls to stop.

"We'll call it for today...I know you girls are hurting, I'm sorry about today," Y/n apologizes to the girls.

Heidi chugs some of her water and then waited for König. She texted him that practice ended early. She sits on the curb, she looks at the blacktop kicking some of the small rocks or throwing them.

Soon someone sat next to her, she looks at the person and it was Y/n. She gives Heidi a small smile and handed her a new water bottle, Y/n knows Heidi's water bottle was empty, she's just bored.

"Dad's late?" Y/n asked.

"Just a bit...he's getting off work now..." she says, twisting the cap of her water bottle taking a few swigs from it.

"I see..." Y/n says. "How's your knees?"

"Fine, my right one hurts," the one she twisted late season.

"I bet, I'll have to tell the principal that male basketball and girls volleyball need to figure out their practice times...this is the 2nd time they've done that...they have an outdoor court, I don't know why they can't use that one instead?"

"It's because the principal only cares about the male sports and what they need, even though this school is only popular for their female sport programs...didn't the girls basketball make it to finals and the male basketball team like lost almost every game they've played?" Heidi says.

"Agreed..." Y/n and Heidi could agree on so many things wrong with this school giving so much money to male sport programs but giving the girls a lower budget. It was stupid.

The girls had to come up with fundraisers to be able to get a new net, the old one had big holes from the net being old and being dry-rotted.

Heidi then saw her fathers car pull into the schools parking lot. Heidi grabbed her things and headed to her dads car, he steps out after she gets into the passenger side.

"Sorry, about that," he apologized to Y/n.

"It's okay...Mr. King, before you leave..." he turns back to her.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, for being rude to you the other practice, I know you had an appointment to get your daughter to that day, I was going to release her to you, but I wanted her to get done with some exercises before I released her."

"I understand, I get it, really, coach-"

"Please, call me, Y/n..."

"Okay, see ya' later, Y/n." he gets into his car driving off.

-------------

A Week Later

Heidi's first game of the season, she was ready to hit the ball back over the net, it was coming right at her too. König watches his daughter and Y/n is making sure Heidi had enough time to get the ball back over the net before the timer runs out.

Soon Heidi hits it back over the net and another came running up from her side and spiking it, hitting the floor on the opponents side. Heidi's team wins and Y/n was excited that they won the first game.

The girls all ran off the court to hug Y/n and line up to shake hands with the other team. Heidi runs to her chair grabbing her water bottle. She heads to the locker room and some of the parents went to Y/n to thank her.

König stood in the back of the group of parents as Y/n talked to every parent. Once the parents left König walked to Y/n, hands in his hoodie pocket and he cleared his throat.

"You did good."

"I didn't do anything."

"You helped our girls...you did good," he tells her before leaving to go get Heidi.

"Mr. King."

"Yes?"

"This may be...highly inappropriate and I thought about getting it off my chest, and you are allow to deny me...would you like to get some drinks, one day?"

"Coach Y/n...are you asking me on a date?"

"Forget it."

"No, no, I'm joking, I'm joking...yeah...I'll get some drinks with you."

-------------

A Few Nights Later

König sits at the bar tapping his fingers on the bar counter and waiting for Y/n, she wasn't late or anything König was just early. 10 minutes early.

Probably to get a good spot for the both of them, this bar usually filled up quickly. Soon Y/n comes in and sits next to König. He turns and smiles at her.

"You look..."

"Dumb? I didn't know what to go with-"

"Wunderschön (Gorgeous)," he says.

"Danke (Thank you)." She says back.

König and Y/n just talked and drink the whole night. König then brought Y/n to his car. She came by UBER not knowing how much she would drink. She wasn't drunk nor tipsy, but König didn't want her in a car with a stranger after drinking.

He took her home. König held Y/n to his side as they entered König's domain, they laughed as they removed their shoes at the front door and once they walked in Heidi peaks over the couch.

"Dad!? Coach Y/n?!" Both adults stopped in their tracks looking at the Junior.

"Hey, kiddo, I thought you might have been asleep."

"What would you two have done if I was?" She asked.

König and Y/n looked at each other before laughing like to teenagers, Heidi rolled her eyes and scoffed before getting grossed out and leaving.

"You know what, I don't want to know..." she says as she goes up the stairs.

"So...since she's upstairs...do you wanna?" König raised his eyebrows at Y/n before she lightly pushed him away.

"You're so weird," she teased.

"I'm not weird, I'm fun, come on," König takes her hand and going to his bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

[theyapper0]

FIRST PART OF "DISHONORED GUESTS"

(A "Welcome to Heaven" rewrite for my Hazbin reimagining)

(Before I get into it, I gotta give some context...

The "Dad Beat Dad" episode didn't happen (bc I don't want Lucifer at ALL in season 1 so there is a better build up to his character. I think he came WAY TOO SOON in canon LOL) 

Charlie doesn't ask Lucifer for the favor to get a meeting to Heaven, instead Alastor encouraged her to contact Adam and DEMAND a meeting as the Heir of Hell) 

(There are also 5 parts to this btw 😋)

____________________

The episode starts w/ a flashback. It's all blurry and all the viewer sees is blurry flashes of colors. 

You can hear Vaggie's voice, she sounds slightly younger. She's shouting out military commands. 

Then you hear another voice, it's the same voice that you heard from the first Episode, the Exorcist Angel that accompanied Adam during Charlie's meeting w/ him (Lute) 

A hand is placed on Silhouette!Vaggie’s shoulder, she's looking up at her, “Easy, soldier”

Lute then tells the rest of the division to “Try not to take the kid to seriously, she still cries about imps under her bed”

There's laughter from a group of Exorcists

Vaggie: UGH!! LUTE!! THEY SAID I COULD LEAD THIS TIME! YOU'RE RUINING IT!!!

Lute laughs, “Okay okay, I'll be quiet. You're doin’ great so far, V. Keep it up”

The dream ends abruptly. Vaggie is woken up to Charlie, who's buzzing around their bedroom. TODAY IS THE DAY THEY GO TO HEAVEN!!!!!!! AAAAHHH!!!! 

Vaggie goes to grab her spear but Charlie puts her hands over hers, “Maybe… don't bring it?”

Vaggie tries to protest, "What if it goes south?”

Charlie: I know but… I wanna make a good impression on Heaven. ‘show them we're not just violent beasts who don't trust anyone

Vaggie hums… 

Charlie: Come on, Vaggie! Nothing bad’s gonna happen! It's Heaven! ^^

Vaggie sighs and lets go of her spear, “Yeah… That's exactly what I'm worried about…”

Her spear is dull anyway, her blade sharpener broke the other day and they haven't had the time (or the money) to get a new one….

Angel, Husk, and Niffty still go to the club with Cherri Bomb

So Charlie and Vaggie go through the portal to Heaven and they walk go the gates of Heaven. 

I'll put the rest under the cut since this is LOOOOOONG

St. Peter isn't there at the gates, Emily is though. She's been waiting for their arrival!!! 

Emily introduces herself as Emily Eveningale!!!! and explains to them her job, making the people of Heaven happy. And then she's like “IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU!!!!!!!🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩”

She explains that the Trial will be starting the moment the clock strikes midnight and that she'll be putting a magic timer on them to ensure they don't forget! 

Charlie's like, “MAGIC TIMER!!!??? SWEET!!!”

But then Vaggie then steps forward and is like, “Yeah, you can just put it on me, we won't be straying too far from each other anyway”

Emily: Ok! 

Emily graces the magic timer on upon Vaggie's wrist. Picture like an animal branding thing. 

Vaggie winces as it's put on.

Emily is like “Yeah, I’m really sorry if the stamp hurt! The trial will be starting at midnight!”

So they’ve got basically the whole day to waste LOL

The Heavenly Gates open and Emily brings them inside, she’s taking them to the Head Seraphim, Sera Eveningale.

So the three are walking through Heaven. Charlie and Emily are yappin’ and yappin’, getting along GREAT!! They meet each other’s energy super well and are basically like two hyperactive puppies at a dog park LMAO!

Charlie and Emily talking 

Vaggie is sota hanging back…. She looks on edge and keeps looking around.

Adam is walking with Saint Peter, they're talking and just having a grand ol’ time. Lute is trailing behind them. (she's still like Adam's bodyguard when she isn't training the Exorcists)

Lute spots them walking past with Emily. She sees stupid shitty fucking Charlotte and…. VAGGIE….. 

Adam looks too, but only focuses on Charlie and Emily. He heard Emily say something like “So what’s Hell like??? :O”!!

He’s not gonna like that.

They get to the Heavenly cathedral (it looks like the one in Hell (where Charlie had her meeting with Adam), just less run down and ugly). It's beautiful!!! 

Sera greets them with as much hospitality as she could muster 

They all talk for a while :) 

“A very interesting belief, the redemption of a Sinner…. And an even more interesting method of doing so with your hotel”

Charlie was gonna go into detail about it but Sera cuts her off and is like “Ah, we can save it for court” 

Sera repeats that the trial starts at midnight. “

“We'll show you to your chambers for the time being” 

So Sera and Emily are leading Charlie and Vaggie to their chambers.

While they're walking there, Emily speaks quietly to Sera… “Can't we give them something…. Nicer?” 

Sera just looks at her and doesn't say anything.

(Keep in mind the title of this episode)

So they get to the chambers and…..

Yeah, it's basically the dungeon in the basement. 

It’s dingy, dark and cold. They don't complain too much bc they're used to stuff like this in Hell but COME ON!!! They just saw a whole bunch of beauty in Heaven, they really couldn't have a nicer room!

Emily is like er… sorry, I wish I could give you a better place to stay. Charlie's like no worries? It's fine! ^^ 

Emily says they don't need to stay here until the trial, I could show you around!!! 

Charlie's like !!! Really!!!!

Emily is like yeah!!! 

Sera: Emily…

Emily: What? Oh come on, Sera!! It's fine! Nothing bad’ll happen! 

Sera is like “ok fine but,” She snaps her fingers and these white cuffs appear on Charlie

Vaggie is like HEY!! GET THAT SHIT OFF HER! 

Sera tells her to relax and is like “dw, it's just Heavenly cuffs. It disables Miss Morningstar’s satanic powers for as long as she has them on” 

Charlie is like “oh nonono I'm not gonna do anything, I swear”

Sera is like I'm sorry but you can never be too careful 

Sera leaves like “see u in court”

Emily hums, slightly annoyed but quickly hides it and smiles again. 

Emily asks Charlie if she's ever been to an aquarium and Charlie is like NO!!!!! Is it really as blue as I've heard?? And Emily is like the BLUEST!!!! 

Emily flies out like “race you outside!!!!” 

Charlie goes to run out but realizes that Vaggie hasn't moved, she's like “U coming, Vags?” 

Vaggie shakes her head and is like “nah, I don't think I wanna see Heaven…”

Charlie laughs, “What? Scared you'll love it and actually give redemption a shot?”

Vaggie smiles and they come closer to each other, she cups her face, “You know I'd never leave you”

Charlie smiles at her and holds her wrists. Vaggie looks down at the cuffs on Charlie and frowns

Charlie: You're worrying, Vaggie. Everything's gonna be okay, I know it

Vaggie hums, “Just be careful, okay?” 

Charlie nods, “Of course”

They kiss.

Charlie: So you're SURE you don't wanna come? I mean, I can stay here with you”

Vaggie looks at her, “Babe, we both know you wanna go see that aquarium, you're literally tap dancing in your spot right now. 

Vaggie: Go. I'd rather stay here :)

Charlie says that she'll bring her back something, from what she saw, the food in Heaven looks DELICIOUS!!! 

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

PART 4

PART 5

[richeeduvie]

Post waystar, just turned into a dad Roman looking absolutely disheveled,,, like do u think he just let himself go, kinda. No need to slick back his hair anymore, no need to shave. Doesnt really wear full suits as often. Baby complains about his beard scratching her and he gets whiny and bitchy bc she wont let him hang out at his favorite spot (his head in between her legs). Just straight up looks like a dad 🥰 caveman era with his little premie baby girl and his hot milf wife. One day he just finally decides to shave because he’s dying from the lack of 🐱 eating but Baby Jr is just 😧 who is that where did daddy go

A Real Pain Kieran Culkin but make it Roman Roy finally healing with his wife and daughter outside of Waystar. Most definitely.

I think Baby likes the beard! But yeah, the pokey, scratchy feeling it gives her when he trims it short does make her complain a little, but it's good for play to get him whiny over how she won't let him eat her out until he either shaves it fully or grows it out so it's softer rather than spikey. But God, he loves how much he's grown into being a dad. Being comfortable. Where's the drabble where Baby soothed him into being confident about his weight gain cause he's just at home loving his daughter and wife?

But Baby Jr is extremely confused at a beardless Daddy, she doesn't remember when she was so little and knew his face when it was naked. In preparation, they pull out photos of Roman to show that that's her daddy.

She blinks, stares, looks up at her Mommy. Baby laughs at the little headshake she gives them. Roman doesn't find it as funny.

"She better not fucking hate me."

"Roman, relax."

He finally shaves his beard. Baby, as much as she likes it, does like to see his face clean. Feeling it, too.

Baby Jr comes toddling down the hall in her diaper and cat socks, smiling dropping when she sees Roman.

"It's Daddy with his face naked! Sup. Hi. Hi, Honey."

He stills when he goes to pick her up and she starts crying. Baby coos.

Roman wants to pull his hair out, bald the rest of him.

"I fucking told you!"

"No Daddy! Daddy?"

Baby bounces their terrified daughter in her arms as she tries to hard her laughter. It'd be funnier if Roman didn't expect himself to be perfect to his daughter all the time.

"That's Daddy. That's right, it's okay - he's right there, he just doesn't have his beard anymore."

"...I don't even look that different. I'm putting it back on."

"How the hell are you gonna do tha-"

"I don't know! Look, she's snotting cause she thinks I'm a strang-"

"She'll be fine in five minutes, Rome."

She is, Roman doesn't stop being her daddy all because the beard is gone. The sass and need to always love her is still there.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

me: don't think about it

me: Charlie going to the demon over lords like "hey look! heaven attacked and we fought and (mostly) didn't die and a sinner got yeeted up to heaven! Will you please support my (newly rebuilt) hotel now??"

(most) demon over lords looking at charlie like: shit the second most powerful person currently in hell, who was BORN with that power, is trying to fuck up the power that WE clawed our way to the top of (she's ruining it by giving sinners hope) (meaning they won't be so eager to sell themselves off to bigger demons) (meaning bigger demons will have less power) (if she has it her way they'll be fewer sinners at ALL) (which won't work) (bc this is all still Stupid) (BUT) (if the people of hell start thinking they have a chance...) AND she wants us to stick OUR necks on the line in the fight against heaven (who don't traditionally go after her or her family anyway but love hunting US) now she's also got her dad actively backing her up, so we can't just say a flat "no" or try fighting her over it, especially not since she's shown herself to be not so lame after all.... we need a way to get all of hell doubting and mistrusting her, so they don't go to her hotel thing instead of to us... but what can we use against her? what weak spot does she h-

over lords, looking over at charlie's girlfriend vaggie, and her newly returned, never-before mentioned angel wings: ......Hmmm...

charlie: trying to explain that her gf WAS an exorcist yes ok, and sure she DID kill lots of sinners but- No charlie didn't know that when they started dating but they've worked through it and vaggie- look she fought on hell's side during the hotel battle she was right there with charlie up in heaven advocating for sinners getting a second chance-

What? Yeah she, she went back to heaven that one time. No I guess she's not banished exactly, they just tore off her wings and left her to die here after she- NO she does NOT want to go back- yes ok she COULD but she doesn't WANT to, the hotel is her home now and- look she almost died fighting for it-

it wasn't a LIE, she just, she was scared and didn't tell the truth! What do you mean "can't trust your judgment"? I know her and I knew she'd have my back and she DID, the whole POINT of the hotel, which WORKS by the way, is that people can change-

NO SHE ISN'T SPYING ON US FOR HEAVEN! she hates them! no I'm not "just" saying that because "she said so" I can TELL we've been together for THREE YEARS- YES FINE SHE WAS HIDING SOMETHING FROM ME ALL THAT TIME OKAY but look at what she's done and been DOING! Yes, thank you Caramilla- she got her wings back and used them to fight for- she- WHAT?! NO! She's the hotel manager- she's OUR hotel's manager- she can't leave, that's- wh- fire her? It's her HOME! I'm her partner not her boss!! No I'm not listening to this! This is stupid- the whole hotel wouldn't even BE a thing if I hadn't MET her and it wouldn't work without her! I-

vaggie: I'll go vaggie: charlie's being modest. she's got things covered here vaggie: I'll be hell's spy in heaven, if it'll help. IF you all support the hotel.

and the overlords smile and promise-

(of course of course they will, really, it's nothing against her just a little PR issue, a matter of building trust, so naturally she'll report only to them yes? she and charlie will make a little deal not to contact each other otherwise? they're just worried, you see, wouldn't want an angel taking advantage of the princess of hell's confidence again, so glad she understands)

-nice and sharp and already watching eagerly as charlie's newfound backbone crumples while she stares at vaggie, wordless again just like up in heaven, and doesn't react when vaggie takes her hand and gives her a pleading look-

back at the hotel, alone, vaggie is swapping out her hotel vest for the clothes she was in when they met, wrinkled and crammed at the bottom of drawer, while charlie sits on their bed refusing to watch. vaggie doesn't pack for heaven. she walks over with just her spear and holds it out- here. she'll feel better, about being away, if charlie keeps this with her. charlie doesn't take it. charlie doesn't answer. charlie's crying and she latches on tight when vaggie drops the spear to hug her. she should've been able to stop this- she can't keep the hotel running on her- she doesn't WANT to TRY doing this alone-

she won't be. vaggie reminders her, lucifer and the others are all here, charlie isn't alone anymore. she's got the hotel. she's GOT this. and vaggie will come back

but she's tired of being scared and she's not gonna risk both their dream because of it. not again.

so, vaggie goes to heaven, supposedly to help sir pentious settle into his new life up there, with the help of emily to smooth things over and the fact that adam and lute swept her under the rug instead of making her fall an official thing- and considering the circumstances, emily argues, they were in the wrong anyway, especially now a sinner HAS been redeemed

meanwhile charlie stays in hell, at the hotel, without her.

and she's short tempered with worry, impatient with the everyday problems of the hotel- vaggie up in heaven with LUTE the woman who ripped out her eye ripped off her wings tried to kill her- all because charlie couldn't convince the overlords- couldn't convince (wasn't enough to convince?) vaggie to STAY- and,

the other's notice, notice that asking how things are NOW is too raw but asking about the past is easier, lighter, get's charlie lost in memory instead of on of her worry spirals, and there's flashbacks of them getting together- there's vaggie up in heaven quiet and listless as she shadows sir pentious around keeping lute at bay and he looks over at her nervously, he brings up how much he misses cherri, and how he could use a few relationship tips for when she (surely) eventually ends up here too-

charlie and vaggie, both of them apart in the present, neither of them okay, maybe vaggie's snooping up in heaven leads her to lilith and gets her in trouble- maybe charlie makes deals she regrets down in hell trying to keep things going without her- but we see them in the past, together, and them pulling on those memories now, trying to get back to each other again

or something like that.

[melefim]

Swearing in Dead Boy Detectives: Episode 8- The Case of the Hungry Snake

Episode Overview:

58 total, 12 different words said by 12 characters.

Charles: 1 Bloody Hell

Crystal: 5 Fuck, 5 Shit, 2 Bitch, 7 God. 1 Jesus, 1 Prick

Jenny: 10 Fuck, 1 Shit, 1 Ass, 1 God, 1 Jesus, 1 Screw

Niko: 2 God

Esther: 3 Fuck, 4 God, 1 Screw

Cat King: 1 Fuck, 1 Dick

Kingham: 3 Fuck

Girl in Memory 1 (Cheating BF): 1 Damn

Crystal's Mom: 1 Damn

Crystal's Dad: 1 Jesus

Girl in Memory 2 (Club Fight): 1 Fuck, 1 Slut

Girl in Memory 3 (Traffic): 1 God

Curses Per Character:

Charles: 1

Crystal: 21

Jenny: 15

Niko: 2

Esther: 8

Cat King: 2

Kingham: 3

Girl in Memory 1 (Cheating BF): 1

Crystal's Mom: 1

Crystal's Dad: 1

Girl in Memory 2 (Club Fight): 2

Girl in Memory 3 (Traffic): 1

Uses Per Word:

Fuck: 23

Shit: 6

Bitch: 2

Ass: 1

Damn: 2

Bloody Hell: 1

God: 15

Jesus: 3

Dick: 1

Prick: 1

Slut: 1

Screw: 2

Lines:

Girl in Memory 1 (Cheating BF): Why are you being so goddamn mean?

Crystal: Am I ever wrong about this shit?

Crystal: My parents won't say shit, they don't even--

Crystal: Jesus Christ! You guys scared me.

Crystal: God, it's like being punched in the face and the stomach.

Crystal: Yeah, well blame my parents. Holy shit!

Esther: God, you're nosy.

Crystal: Mom? Oh my God. Mom is that--

Crystal’s Mom: They're wasting our goddamn time, Seth, go tell him!

Crystal’s Dad: This is Art, for Christ’s sake!

Girl in Memory 2 (Club Fight): Get your fucking hands off my boyfriend, you slut!

Girl in Memory 3 (Traffic): Oh my God, did you guys hear? James got hit by a car.

Crystal: Maybe karma is just a bitch.

Crystal: Oh, my God. Oh, I'm a fucking awful person. Oh, God, I'm the worst.

Crystal: God, I was a bad person before him.

Crystal: Because if you did, God, you'd hate me.

Jenny: What the actual fuck?

Jenny: And why the ever-loving fuck is my hair braided?

Jenny: Fuck that! That is bullshit!

Jenny: No fucking way.

Kingham: "No fucking way" to you. "No fucking way" to that side braid. What the fuck is that?"

Jenny: Fucking fuck!

Jenny: Screw it. I'd rather know my own life, no matter how fucked up.

Jenny: Jesus, fuck!

Crystal: Oh my God, Jenny are you OK?

Crystal: Shit (digging Niko out of rubble)

Niko: Oh my God. Am I dead?

Niko: Oh my God. Is that why the magic eight ball kept saying "outlook not so good"?

Jenny: Esther's a witch? I thought she was just an asshole.

Crystal: Fuck! (Realizes Esther has the boys)

Jenny: I figure a meat cleaver can cut up a witch, but what the fuck do I know anymore?

Crystal: Because whatever fucked-up little thing you have going on with Edwin, you must care about him a little.

Cat King: So was her wayward husband. A real swinging dick.

Cat King: Fuck me. Did you even listen to my story?

Crystal: She probably put a, like, kill-you-instantly spell or some witchy shit on the door.

Esther: Don't ever trust a goddess to grant your wishes, because she'll definitely screw you over good.

Esther: Oh, God! Oh, God, no, my face… Is fine.

Esther: Oh my God, my own sacrificial knife? I'm impressed. But I'm not fucking around that you're also gonna patch that wall before you die too.

Crystal: I am so sorry he was a colossal prick.

Esther: Who the fuck are you?

Esther: What the fuck? Hey hey hey no! What did you just do?

Crystal: Hubris is a bitch, am I right?

Jenny: God, that sounds so fucking procedural.

Crystal: I don't have to give up my new fucked-up life while I'm trying to sort out my old fucked-up life.

Charles: Oh, bloody hell. And you're always just popping up. Where do you even come from?

Notes:

Previously on Dead Boy Detectives…

Shown in this episode’s recap but not counted above:

David: I can’t, you stupid bitch! (Episode 7)

Bonus:

Esther: Oh, shoot. Or as the French say, merde.

‘Merde’ is French for ‘shit’

Updates:

-Added ‘slut’, updating charts and counts.

-Added bonus quote from Esther

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More Dead Boy Detectives Swearing Posts:

Masterlist

Swearing by Episode

Swearing by Character

Swearing by Word

All Swearing Posts

And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!

When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Full soundtrack with timestamps

Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 05

<<previous chapter | next chapter>>

Masterlist

…

Five and I discussed our new plan on the way back to the academy.

“We need to go back, now.” Five insisted as he paced around his bedroom.

I stood by the door trying to distance myself from the angry teen.

“I know..” I pause. “But you already saw how demanding works. And also you're a kid, of course they didn't take you seriously.”

“Why is this eye so important anyway?” I ask.

He huffs. “Whoever has this eye brings upon the end of the world. I need to figure out who it is.”

Every time Five repeats that the world is ending I try to ignore it. But with the D-day getting closer and closer I realize I need to do a few things on my bucket list.

“We need someone else.” He mutters, breaking me out of my thoughts.

He's right, our story wasn't convincing at all. You need a strong narrative to get information out of suckers. So we need a dramatic person who can play a part.

Suddenly it dawned on me. We need-

..

“You know, I am so thrilled to join your guys' spy mission! It's just like old times.” Klaus reminisced with sappy tears in his eyes.

“I don't think we've ever done this.” Five retorts.

I know that the boy wasn't the most excited about getting help from Klaus but I told him if Klaus puts his mind to it, we're getting that information.

Five and I went over to the dining room where Klaus was snoring on the couch. In his underwear.

At first he wouldn't get up, that was until Five offered him twenty dollars and he bolted upstairs to get ready. We trailed after him back to Five’s room where he was waiting on Five's bed.

I love Klaus but his outfit choices have always been questionable even when we were teens.

“What are you wearing?” I asked disgustedly.

I did not receive an answer because Five heard a noise and peered his head out the door.

An annoyed look on his face appeared when he turned back around to us. “Vanya's here. Klaus hide.” He whispers.

Klaus gets up from the bed and dashes around the room, looking for anywhere that's big enough to fit his lanky body. I point to Five's closet.

He contorts himself to fit inside and closes the door behind him. Just in time too because Vanya walks into the room.

“Thank god, I was worried sick about you two.” She expressed her uneasiness.

I frowned. “Sorry, we left without saying goodbye.” If only I wasn't dragged by that little boy I would've loved to talk to her more.

“No look. I'm the one who should be sorry.” Vanya turns to Five. “Yeah, I was dismissive, and I– I guess I couldn't process what you were saying. And I still can't to be honest.” She stutters out.

I couldn't tell if it was an act but Five’s face turned almost sad. “Maybe you were right to be dismissive.” He says.

I'm not sure where this acting was when we were at Meritech. But I match his hurt look.

“Maybe it wasn't real after all. It felt real. Well like you said, the old man did say time travel could contaminate the mind.” Five continued.

Five is interrupted by a loud crash that comes from the closet. I ran over to stand in front of it trying to distract from the noises Klaus was making as they kept talking.

“Then maybe I'm not the right person for you to be talking to. Look, I used to see someone. A therapist, I could give you her information.” Vanya shares.

Five is quick to feign a smile. “No thanks, but I think I'm just going to get something to eat. It's been a long time since I've had good food.”

Vanya nods and steps back out of the room.

As soon as Five goes back to the door to make sure that she is gone, the warm look on his face disappears and his permanent scowl returns instead.

The closet behind me starts to shake and I take a step away hoping that Klaus doesn't decide to fall on me.

His curled body leaps out of the closet. “That was so… touching!” He trips over fallen junk from the closet. “All that stuff about family and Dad and time. Wow!”

“Will you shut up, she'll hear you.” He yells.

“I'm moist.”

“What the hell Klaus.” I scoot further away from him.

Five takes a moment to look him up and down. “I thought I told you to put on something professional.”

The outfit he put on was a green button-up shirt with frilly red-lined sleeves. Honestly atrocious.

“What? This is my nicest outfit.” Klaus cries.

“Let's go look at the old man's closet,” I suggest pushing Klaus out of the room.

Five groans before following us out.

“As long as I get paid,” Klaus exclaims.

“When the job is done.”

He stops us. “Okay, but just so we're clear on the finer details. I just gotta go into this place and pretend to be your dear old Dad. Correct?”

“Yeah, something like that,” I replied.

“What's our cover story then?”

“What? What are you talking about?” Five gives him a puzzled look.

“I mean, was I really young when I had y/n? Like, 16? Like, young and terribly misguided. Then yada yada some years later you came along, Five.” Klaus rambles putting his hands on his chest.

“Sure.”

“Your mother, that slut.. whoever she was. We met at.. oh! The disco.”

I cackle at Klaus’s backstory but Five couldn't look more concerned.

“Remember that.” The man snaps. “Oh, my god, the sex was amazinggg.”

“What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain.” Five turns to go down the stairs.

Klaus holds out his pointer like a stern dad. “Don't make me put you into time out.” He yells.

..

“Like I said to your son and daughter?” The same doctor questions us from before.

We arrived at the same part of the building but this time the man had the decency to bring us to his office.

“Yes, these are my children,” Klaus replies affirmatively.

He now had on one of Reginald's many suits; it made him look the part.

“Yeah, can't you tell?” My hand messaging my temple as I throw that in, trying to mask my sarcasm, cause well none of us looked alike.

“Well, like I told your children earlier, any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential.” The man emphasizes each word to us like we are all babies.

Klaus sat in a chair across from the man's desk and I sat in the other, but Five stood up in the middle of us with his hands on the doctor's glass desk. Getting ready for round two of his yelling match.

“Without the client's consent. I simply can't help you.”

“Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name.” Five yells.

The doctor looks defeated. “Well, that's not my problem.”

I’m sure Five wished his powers were laser eyes instead of teleportation because of how he was staring at the man so intensely.

“Sorry. Now, there's really nothing more I can do, so–”

Klaus looked up from his lap. “And what about my consent?”

“Excuse me?”

Everyone turns to look at him.

“Who gave you permission… to lay your hands on my son?” Klaus cried.

“What?” Five, the doctor and I all say at once.

“You heard me.”

“I didn't touch your son.” The man states matter of factly.

Klaus slowly gets up from his chair “Oh, really? Well, how did he get that swollen lip then?”

“He doesn't have a swollen-”

The man didn't have time to finish his sentence because Klaus suddenly swung at Five and slapped him in the mouth.

I hide my expression with my palm and watch.

He inhales sharply. “I want it. Name, please. Now.” He slaps his hands onto the doctor's desk.

The man stutters trying to think of something to say. “You're crazy.” He replies.

Klaus fakes a chuckle. “You got no idea.”

He picks up the snow globe on the man's desk. “Peace on earth? That's so sweet.” He reads out loud.

He then smashes the snow globe into his head causing everyone to let out a shriek as it breaks into tiny pieces. I cringe looking at all that blood on his head.

He screams out. “God that hurt.” Water from the snow globe dripped all over his face.

The man doesn't break eye contact with Klaus but hurryingly reaches for the telephone on his desk.

“I'm calling secur– what are you doing?” The man yells out but Klaus takes the telephone right from his sweaty hands.

“There's been an assault… in Mr. Big's office, and we need security, now. Schnell!” Klaus screams into the telephone before slamming it back onto its post.

He sighs. “Now, here's what's gonna happen, Grant.”

“It's… Lance.”

“In about sixty seconds two security guards are gonna burst through that door, and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood and wonder ‘What the hell happened?’ And we're gonna tell them that you… beat the shit out of us!” Klaus rambles.

“While making googly eyes at my young daughter!” He sobs.

Five stares at Klaus admirably.

“You're gonna do great in prison, Grant. Trust me, I've been there. A little piece of chicken like you. Oh my god, you're gonna get passed around like a…” He moves his hips in a circle to make a point.

Then shutters thinking back at old memories. “You're just– you're gonna do great. That's all I'm saying.”

Lance almost cries out looking at all of us. “Jesus, you are a real sick bastard.”

Klaus stares at him blankly. “Thank you.”

He spits out a piece of snow globe glass. The look on Five face is priceless, I'm for one so proud of Klaus right now. He never went Broadway but this was pretty close.

Lance rushes over to a long line of filing cabinets. Searching for the information that will satisfy us. Klaus sat on top of the cabinet making the doctor go even faster, fearing for his life.

“Oh, that's strange.” He says.

“What.” Five ask.

“Uh, the eye. It hasn't been purchased by a client yet.”

Klaus jumps off the cabinet and gets up into Lance's face. “What? What do you mean?” He whispers.

“Well, uh, our logs say that the eye with that serial number… This can't be right. It hasn't even been manufactured yet.” Lance looks up at Five. “Where did you get that eye?”

Five huffs. He walks away from all of us to the elevator and leaves us with Lance.

I grab onto Klaus to move him outside as he blows Lance a smooch before we go into the elevator as well.

We walk out of the building's doors when Five starts to talk again. “Well, this is not good.” He says.

“I was pretty good, though, right? ‘Yeah. What about my consent, bitch?” He laughs.

“Klaus, it doesn't matter.” The boy sighs and we stop walking.

“What? What, what's the big deal with this eye, anyways?” The hurt Klaus asks.

I grab onto the two men to heal them of their injuries before answering for Five who looks like he's about to explode.

“There's someone out there who's going to lose an eye in the next seven days. And they're gonna bring about the end of life on earth as we know it!” I say, rubbing my forehead.

“Yeah, can I get that twenty bucks, like, now, or what?”

I stare at my adopted brother with my brows furrowed. “You're not gonna question what I just said, at all?”

Five steps closer to him. “The apocalypse is coming and all you can think about is getting high?”

“Well, I'm also quite hungry. Tummies a rumblin.” Klaus wiggles his fingers to imitate grumbling.

“You're useless.” Five shakes his head while walking away from the two of us to sit on the building's steps.

“Oh come on, you need to lighten up old man!” Klaus mocks. I move from Klaus to sit near Five and listen to the rest of Klaus’s spiel.

“Hey, you know, I’ve just now realized why you're so uptight. You must be horny as hell!”

Klaus’s laughter is matched by my own as he sits next to us. “That’s not funny Klaus,” I reply still giggling. Five on the other hand wasn’t amused, he looked deep in thought not even staring in our direction.

“All those years by yourself, it's gotta screw with your head, being alone.”

Five concentration breaks, “well.” He starts. “I wasn't alone.” Klaus and I immediately go silent and stare at him.

“Spill,” I say.

“Her name was Delores. We were together for over thirty years.” The small bit of happiness on Five's face was very easy to see.

“Thirty years? Oh, wow!” Klaus chuckles. “God, the longest I've been with someone.. I didn't know for three weeks. And that's only because I was so tired from looking for a place to sleep.”

Klaus went on like that for a good five minutes rambling about his love life and how hard it was not having anywhere to stay. I yawned in desperate need of a break from whatever this was. And it looked like Five was ready to blink away.

I turned to him and signaled that we should leave by nudging my head to the busy road that was right in front of the building. He nods back at me.

“He did make the most fantastic osso buco, though. It was..”

Five takes hold of my sleeve and we blink from the steps into a taxi. “Don’t stop, just keep driving.” Five demands of the panicked driver.

“Hey! Where’d you guys go?” I hear Klaus yell as we drive past him. Five turns to the window and gives Klaus a wave that makes him instantly stand up and try to run over to us.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what about my money?!” He shouts but we’re long gone by then. I would’ve felt bad if this wasn't so funny.

Five was bleak at times and angry, and a lot of other things but he had his fun moments. We missed a lot of time getting to know each other but, this made up for it.

“So where to now?” I ask.

“I am going to run, uh an errand. I'm dropping you off at the academy.”

“Sounds good to me.” I smile. I needed this break to rest today. It was exhausting. “Our adventures have been fun, we should do it again.”

He turns to me, “Oh yeah?”

I hum in response.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

The sky turned a vibrant shade of dark blue by the time we reached a familiar street, we were almost at the academy. I kinda wanted to join Five on his errand but I didn't say anything.

I paid the taxi driver the spare tens in my pocket for not freaking out and reminded myself that I'd pay Klaus tomorrow too. And walked up to the doors of the Umbrella Academy.

“Goodnight Five!” I call out as I open the front door. But I walked in before hearing his response, only hearing the sound of the taxi driving away.

..

I found myself in a spot I always went to when I needed to escape my ‘father’. It was a storage closet-like room that had a tiny balcony where Ben and I would hang out in the late hours of the night.

But now I was by myself and Ben was nowhere to be found. So I lit a cigarette and stared at the night sky. It’s a bad habit that I picked up during all my time with Klaus, It did help me calm my nerves though.

“Y/n?”

I turned around to see Alison in the doorway. A frown was painted on her beautiful face.

“It's good to see you, I didn't expect you to still be here.” She expressed while sitting down next to me.

“Me neither but I had a busy day chasing around a fifty-something-year-old. Thought I'd stay just to see what else happened around here. Or the truth could be I just kinda missed it around here, I'm not sure.”

Alison nodded. “I'm glad you're here, we haven’t really talked at all I've just been so busy with trying to get in touch with Claire and-“

I briefly cut her off. “Yeah, is everything okay with that?”

“My ex-husband, Patrick is trying to make it seem like I don’t care about this court stuff. Since I'm missing a session of mandated therapy.” She huffs.

“Can I have a cigarette?”

I reached into my black jacket pocket and pulled out the pack. Half of it was already empty but I just bought it before I came here, I guess I need more.

“Wouldn't the court recognize that as like, certain circumstances?” I ask.

“Yes! That’s what I tried to tell him. But he won't listen at all.” Alison groaned, holding the now-lit cigarette.

I smirk. “He sounds like an ass.”

“You don’t even know,” we both shared a good laugh.

“But,” she says while laughing. “What’s been going on with you? I know that's very broad because we haven’t seen each other since my wedding but, have you been doing anything new?”

I look forward to the pitch-black sky. “Yeah uhm, not much,”

Alison thinks for a moment, “Oh! I know. Whatever happened to your boyfriend? The guy you brought to my wedding.”

I froze, my mouth slightly open and the cigarette I held between my lips fell to the balcony floor. “Oh him..”

“Did something happen Y/n?”

“No no, we just broke up I guess.”

Alison grabs onto my hand, squeezing me tightly. “I'm so sorry.” She says.

It’s not that I forgot about my ex, no I couldn’t. I just liked to pretend that he was a part of my childhood nothing more. But in reality, we only broke up about half a year ago.

“We didn’t have the best relationship,” I told her. “He wasn't the nicest guy but I stayed. We were on and off but I officially broke up with him a couple of months ago.”

She fiddled with her curly hair. “I would’ve never been able to tell, he just seemed so nice at the time. I thought you guys were the perfect match. Y/n I'm so sorry, forget I brought him up.”

“It’s okay, I mean you didn't know,” I reassured the woman.

“If you need anything I'm always here for you, you know? I don’t think we were ever the closet but. I'm here for you.” Alison states.

I wasn't sure how to respond, this was all so surreal. Telling someone how I felt was like a boulder being lifted off my chest. I was comfortable enough to do it again.

“Thank you, Alison, I appreciate you.” I grinned

“Miss Alison, are you up here?” Pogo's voice called out. The ape walked into the room as dapper as ever in his suit. “Ah, Miss Y/n you’re up here too good.”

“I was looking for you.” He said to Alison.

We quickly put out our cigarettes and turned our attention to Pogo.

“How did you, uh.. How’d you know I was up here?” She asked.

“Well it wasn't hard, this is where you two would always come when you were upset. I remember it, yes.” He nodded.

I didn’t know that Alison would come here too. All of our childhood I felt myself slightly put up against her when really we couldn’t be more alike.

“Who told you I was.. Luther.” She sighs.

“It was Miss Vanya. She called to make sure you were okay.”

“What happened?” I blurt out.

Alison stretches her legs by walking around the room. “I said some pretty

unkind things to her earlier.”

Pogo shook his head. “She’s your sister. She knows you didn't mean it.”

“Doubt it” Alison scoffs. “She doesn't know anything about me, which is fine because I don’t know shit about here either.”

That was the downside of all of us branching out, we never stayed in touch. If I had moved to a different state I would’ve never known how Klaus was doing and how I could help him. How different my life could’ve been, I mean what if I didn't come to the funeral? Life would’ve died without me having the slightest clue.

“Language”

Alison chuckles at his humor. “Sorry.”

Afraid of just sitting there, I cut into their conversation. “It has been a while since we’ve lived under the same roof, you know?”

They both agree with my sentiment.

“Almost thirteen years,” Pogo said

“Wow,” Alison and I both remark.

“How did you do it? Also in this big house for so long?” I ask.

“Well, one grows used to things, even if sometimes.. one shouldn’t.” He replies, the sadness evident in his voice.

I should’ve visited him, I'm an adult, Reginald can’t scare me anymore and no one was here. I was so close to them but still, I never wanted to come back without a reason. This place was my home for many years, yes, but it wasn’t my first home.

Pogo senses that we’re both down in the dumps. “You two should come with me. I want to show you something. It might just cheer you up,” he says.

..

We followed Pogo downstairs into one of the mansion's many rooms. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen this room before. The hallway was dark with only a few orange lights that barely helped see anything.

The tiny room was filled with rows of old TVs and controls with glowing buttons. Most of the tvs were black but there were a few Pogo must've turned on. Then he went into a box and pulled out a tape. He placed it into the TV closest to him.

The tape played old security camera recordings of us as kids, probably around thirteen from what we looked like. It would’ve been creepy if it didn't make me sad, these memories are some of the good times at the academy that I ignored because of all the bad.

Alison and I gawked at the footage. We sat in two chairs that were in front of the TVs as Pogo talked to us from behind. “Your father stopped recording years ago. But I still come here from time to time. When I'm missing you kids.” He said.

Alison was the first to speak. “Pogo, this is..” she sighs. “Most families have home movies to look back on. We have surveillance footage.”

“I hoped it might cheer you up.”

I laugh. “This definitely does.”

Previous to the new tape Pogo just put in, some of the other TVs had more footage. My eyes drifted from screen to screen soaking up all the cute moments.

“Oh my god look how little we were,” Alison tells me.

One screen was Alison and I in her room trying on Grace’s clothes. “Ohh, I remember this,” I said.

And Alison turns to see the one I'm looking at. “This was so fun! Mom always had the best clothes.” She exclaimed.

Grace's dresses were obviously too big for us, but that didn't stop us. Her clothes were modeled after old housewives of a different time and might look strange and out of date to others. But we loved them.

I moved to another screen of me, Ben and Klaus talking. We were sitting on one of the main staircases. I wish I could freeze time to that moment forever, just the three of us again.

Alison follows where my sad eyes are staring. “I miss him so much.” She said upsetly.

“Me too” I whisper.

The screen next to that was of Vanya, playing her violin alone. You could hear the sound of us children in the background and Alison’s voice while she played by herself. It was the heartbreaking reality of our childhood.

“Why didn't we include her? I mean if anyone ever treated Claire like that, I can’t even imagine.” Alison wonders.

“You were children, Miss Alison,” Pogo replies.

“Yeah.. but I'm not anymore and neither is she.”

Pogo straightens up like he’s getting ready to head out. “If you two aren’t in a hurry. There’s more tapes in that cabinet.” He nudges his head to a large cabinet overflowing with tapes with all different labels.

The man drops the key into my hand. “Make sure to lock up when you're done, things have been disappearing lately. These are too important to lose.”

I tell him I will and Pogo heads back out through the door. But before he leaves he gives us one more look. I turn back towards the screens and rethink back to those happier days.

Alison stands up to go over to the cabinet, she picks up a similar-looking tape. But above the box, there was a rusty tape. The label was gone and it looked scratched up.

“What’s that?” I ask. She opens it and slides it into a screen.

“I don’t know but I guess we're gonna see.” She hits rewind and it starts to buffer before playing. The video was harder to make out than all the other black-and-white films. Alison and I both leaned in and once my eyes focused it was clear what was going on.

“Oh god, Dad.”

…

Aug 14 update:

If you'd like to be added to the tag list for rest of the series (starts at chapter 10) say taglist in the comments!