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wolf-and-bard · 3 years

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Jolf! I need to know! (yes, this is a prompt) Can Eskel draw? Is he any good? Is he wonderful? Or does everyone tell him he is, but really it is barely above a crooked stick figure, but it makes him a kind of happy that is just. bliss.... <3

Pandolf! I hope this answers your questions hehehehe. I present to you:

A Solid Bit Of Brotherly Affection (Rated T, 1.1k, this isn’t crack)

Eskel sighs contentedly as he glances down at his newest piece, a rendition of Lil‘ Bleater up on the battlements, chewing on Lambert’s fingers as he dozes in a rare spot of sunlight. It’s all in all, a beautiful scene, and Eskel couldn’t help but try and capture it. It’ll be a delightful bit of sunlight for himself when life on the Path gets dark. Eskel smiles wistfully, and to himself, as he lets his charcoal-stained fingers brush along the edge of the paper of his little leather-bound journal, careful not to smudge the drawing. It’s one of his better works. Lambert’s body an ethereal line, every scar that is laid bare captured and worshipped, every hair on his head accentuated. A solid bit of brotherly affection, this, and once he wakes up from his nap, Eskel is resolved to show Lambert. Just to let him know that he – on paper and in theory and, perhaps, if the tries to put on a smile ever so often – can be a beautiful person.

The peacefulness of the scene is enhanced by Lil’ Bleaters fluffy butt pointing towards Eskel and he is a bit woebegone that he cannot put her soft little nibbling sounds on paper as well, nor the way Lambert grumbles in his sleep when she drools onto his exposed tummy. Soft with the deep breaths he draws. Softer on paper still. Eskel chuckles lightly to himself and makes to close the journal, but right then it is plucked from his hands.

“Eskel,” Ciri laughs and skips out of reach, holding the journal aloft so she can look at his masterpiece. Eskel shrugs and gets up with a grunt. Doesn’t mind her snooping, not with how proud he is. “You… draw?” Uncertainty has stolen into Ciri’s voice and her brow furrows as she squints at the page, holding the paper closer to her face.

“I do,” Eskel says, crossing his arms. The smile won’t budge and warmth spreads through his middle. It is a great day to be alive, to be a witcher even.

“Wow, this is, yeah, this is really something. I love how you have captured the, uh,” Ciri stops to clear her throat and tears her gaze away from the page to gift him with a full-toothed, bright smile. “I love it.”

“Thank you,” Eskel says and they both turn when they hear Geralt approach, two steel swords in his hand. They clearly came out here to spar which is how Eskel knows it’s time to start prepping dinner. It’s Lambert’s turn, technically, but he looks so serene and Eskel doesn’t mind taking over for him.

“Eskel,” Geralt says with a nod that Eskel returns.

“Wolf.”

“Look, Geralt,” Ciri says and holds out the journal to Geralt. “Did you know Eskel is an artist?” Geralt takes the journal out of Ciri’s hands and his eyes widen, mouth falling open in a soft o. That’s right. Eskel smirks.

“I… did not know that,” Geralt admits. Which is a bit ridiculous since they’ve grown up attached by the hip, have known each other for almost all their lives. But it is true that Eskel never went around advertising the fact. “This is Lambert, right?”

“Yeah. Him and Lil’ Bleater.” Clear as day, but Geralt can be a little daft sometimes.

“It looks great, Esk,” Geralt says with a tight smile and hands back the journal.

They whisper behind his back, but Eskel ignores them. He’s just so fucking delighted and he decides that dinner can wait another hour or so. Maybe he can catch some rest, hang out with Lambert and Lil’ Bleater for a bit.

On the stairway up the battlements, he runs into Vesemir.

“What was all that about?” the old wolf says in his grumbly tone, half the syllables disappearing into his moustache. He has his thumbs hooked into his belt and musters Eskel with a curious gaze.

“All what?”

“What you were showing the other two.”

“Just a drawing I did.”

“You draw?” Vesemir asks, raising a brow and Eskel takes that for the invitation it is. He holds out the drawing for Vesemir to inspect and watches as the old witcher’s eyebrows shoot up towards his hairline.

“You think it’s ugly?” Eskel’s smile falters and his heart plummets. Was he wrong to consider this pretty? But surely, Ciri and Geralt wouldn’t lie to him.

“Oh no, of course I like it. It’s extraordinary,” Vesemir says hastily, waving his hands and Eskel’s breath comes easy once more. He clicks his tongue and brushes past Vesemir to where Lambert has apparently woken up. He sits with his back to the crumbling keep’s wall, Lil’ Bleater a puddle of floof on his lap. She still has his finger in her mouth and snores happily away. Lambert uses his other hand to stroke her backside. He was always better with animals than with humans, that one, even though he would never admit to get along with any living creature unless they are a porcupine perhaps.

“Lambert,” Eskel says and flops down beside his brother, barely able to keep from bursting into delighted laughter.

“Uhm,” is all Lambert replies.

“Had a nice nap?”

“Sure… yeah. You look suspiciously jovial today. Already got into the gin without me?”

“I wouldn’t dare,” Eskel says and opens his journal once more where he has his index finger still placed on the right page. “I have something to show you.” He holds the drawing out to Lambert and Lambert’s eyes widen. His face flushes red. And he bursts into incredulous laughter.

“What is that?” he hiccups once he’s calmed down. Eskel frowns and glances at the picture. It’s still good… isn’t it?

“It’s you and Lil’ Bleater napping in the sun.” A pout steals onto Eskel’s face and the look Lambert gives him is unreadable. Something weird is happening with his lips, like he’s trying not to grin, but his eyes are wide and his hand on Lil’ Bleater’s back stills. “Don’t you like it?”

“Fuck,” Lambert says and looks at the picture again. Dissolves into tearful laughter. Tries to compose himself and with every second that ticks by, Eskel can feel his heart sink again. Well, if anyone is going to be candid about this, it will be Lambert.

“You hate it.”

“Fuck,” Lambert says again. “Bloody fuck, no, no. No, it’s beautiful, I love it, I-“ he chokes on the next word, presses his thumbs into his eyes and giggles. “I love it, Eskel, thank you.”

“Oh.” Eskel sinks back against the battlements and replaces Lambert’s finger for Lil’ Bleater to nibble on. “Good.”

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dizzyingflicker · 3 years

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frigid air (fic commentary)

literally no one asked for this but hello! hi! if you didn’t know, i wrote a 11 chapter fic called ‘frigid air’ a few weeks back. the fic started as jayhoon centric, but it kinda got off the rails from there hehe

the birth of the idea

so the bri from a few weeks ago was already thinking about writing a lengthy enha au.

i just finished writing a jakehoon one shot and wanted to try my hand at writing another ship! at first, i thought of typical au ideas that were college themed. those are the most fun to write and read imo, bc it’s so grounded in reality. and also bc the jakehoon one shot i wrote was a lot heavier and angsty, which was something i think i’m better at doing! there’s this really great fic i read that inspired me to try my hand at some lighter themes!

after reading that au, i was like “hmmmm im gonna try writing some romcom type of stuff.” i always ALWAYS write angst, so this was a really nice and fun change!

yes, back to the college au ideas. i then began to think about what majors the enha kids would do if they went to college. my notes for the first outline kind of went like this:

Jay - fashion major, new addition to the dorm, is rich but doesnt want anyone to know, is kind despite being taken advantage of in his hometown, just wants a normal family

Heeseung - music production major, has a soundcloud lowkey but doesn't let anyone know, is going thru his first real heartbreak and is using music to deal with it

Jungwon - hasnt decided on a major, came to uni w a full ride taekwondo scholarship, secret boyfriend, coming to terms w sexuality

Jake - australian exchange student, architecture major, maybe gets a weird stalker?

Sunoo - beauty school, wants to be a hairstylist, kinda eccentric, knows everyone’s business

Sunghoon - figure skater, doesnt go to school, is close to getting on the national team, lives in a dorm to avoid his tiger parents, softspot for his younger sister

Niki - dance major from japan, is a little too clingy, feels lonely away from his family

in hindsight, the characters here seem a lot more deeper and fleshed out as compared to what i ended up writing, but i realized that if i kept all of this in - it would’ve been really overwhelming for the reader. i had to remind myself that this was a jayhoon centric fic LMAOOOOO

after writing this, i was like “WAITTTT A HOT SEC” this sounds a lot like hello my twenties! which btw, is an amazing show on netflix that you should definitely watch. i watched this show with my girlfriend and man, the way it handled all of the a,b,c, etc plots was so fantastic.

every character had their own stories and that’s what i loved. usually in fics or aus, a lot of the side characters sort of fade into the background. they also do this thing where their main reason for existence is to lift the mc or main ship up in the story. i wanted to avoid that, so taking inspo from hello my 20s, i decided to give every character a story. whether it be something big like sunoo’s stalker or something small like heejake’s and jungniel’s development, i wanted to give them all something to tell. in hello my 20s, each of the girs living in that house had their own unique stories that fit them really well. whether i did it as well as the writers of the show - that’s something else to unpack, right?

the characters and their developments

so this is something i’m not sure if i did well in or not. the original plot was to have jay and sunghoon not get along at all. with jay’s abrasiveness and sunghoon’s surface coolness, i thought it would be fun to see them butt heads. but i realized that it wasn’t so realistic because they don’t really see each other enough to butt heads that much. i thought making sunghoon shy and reserved (thus standoffish) while jay tries his best to make sunghoon open up was a lot more cuter.

jay is a lot more bold in this, even through his embarassing moments. he’s self-assured, determined and open to pretty much anything. he’s generous and friendly. the only weakness jay has is he’s too presumptious sometimes and assumes stuff without any real basis, as seen with him assuming that ryujin and sunghoon were dating bc of a passing remark from jake and some yt comments. i gave him a dead dad at the end of the fic bc hello we’re projecting but also to explain why he’s super close to his mum and why he’s just a tad bit behind everyone else his age. i wanted to expand on this a little but sadly, i kinda ran out of words to talk about this. if you know what i mean. tbh, jay doesn’t have much of a development in this. that’s something i really want to improve on in my next au, giving my mc some actual development instead of getting carried away with other side characters.

sunghoon is, as i said, shy and reserved. he has a lil trauma from being rejected by seon years ago. you can tell that his experience was not pleasant at all - so he keeps feelings of attraction and want farrrrrr away from him. sunghoon is sorry he’s an anti-romantic, if you will. throughout this fic, you see him open up to jay and realize that not every guy he’s attracted to will reject him painfully. he also learns that he doesn’t need to keep people at an arms length away and that opening himself up to more people will bring about very nice things! very cliche but hey, it iz what it iz.

jungwon was a fun one to write! not bc i feel a little of what he feels, but bc he’s adorable with daniel and having him be unsure was fun to write. jungwon is pretty self-assured in this fic, but with daniel, he’s not really sure what he’s doing.

heeseung feels secure enough with jake that he’s willing to sing in front of him, which is something he doesn’t do. jake is very naive about relationships and hee’s feelings for him, but heeseung kind of brings him down back to reality with the scene from han river. heeseung is getting over a breakup and that stuff takes a while, so that’s why i didn’t let them get together too fast. hee knows how jake feels about him and he doesn’t want to ruin it by jumping into things so fast.

sunoo is super friendly and too trusting with people, which is both a blessing and a curse. niki and him have been attached to the hip since their friendship started and niki sees sunoo as a very very dear friend to him. bc who else lets him sleep in his bed and who else buys him taiyaki everyday? that’s right, it’s his sunoo hyung. sunoo also cares for niki a lot and they’re just very sweet.

what i did well and what i didn’t

okay this is debatable, but i did like how i wrote the developing relationships in this, mostly the ones that weren’t the main jayhoon arc. i liked the way i wrote jungwon and daniel’s little friction and i loved heejake’s confession scene.

the humour in this was a little weak for me, but it was my first attempt at writing it so it’s forgivable.

i just wished i wrote the main relationship better. i feel like it took a while at the beginning and suddenly went from 49 to 27403 real quick. if i were to rewrite it, i’d give them a lot more time to pine as that stage before friends and maybe insert more conflict.

i’d give jay a stronger conflict other than trying to befriend with sunghoon. his character felt very 1d for me and i didn’t like that. i needed to develop him more tbh LMAOOO

music!

anti-romantic by txt

perhaps love by eric nam ft cheeze

love poem by iu

give love by akmu

hope ur ok by olivia rodrigo

only yoou by yand da il

references for sunghoon’s ice skating

sunghoon’s white outfit in the youtube video with ryujin

sunghoon’s black outfit in nationals

the reference pic jay draws of sunghoon (which seon sees)

if you read the fic, i’d like to say thank you! i had a lot of fun writing this and seeing everyone’s reactions to the plot twists was super fun hehehehe i genuinely loved doing it even tho it gave me a lot stress! thank u for reading this if u read it too LMAOOOOO

#woundinsalt thots #frigid air #enhypen au

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razorblade180 · 5 years

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Twin Snowflakes Pt3: Checkup

[Saph’s Home]

Terra:*washing dishes*

Ruby:*walking downstairs* Hey Terra, seen the twins?

Terra:In the garden training. Haven’t seen that spot get much love and attention since you and Maria.

Ruby:It’s a tranquil spot. Always helped with clearing my head; especially with the pregnancy thing. *rubs arm*

Terra:*stops scrubbing* Still....not sure about adoption?

Ruby:*groans*........it goes back and forth in my head from time to time. I think deep down Whitley wants someone running around the house; training Nicholas to be heir one day has started to consist of just riding through the streets of Atlas.

Terra:Maybe he just wants him to know the streets well? Hehehehe.

Ruby:The streets he’s been around since he was born? Pretty sure he has them memorized Terra.

Terra:Yeah....I was just trying to, ya know.

Ruby:*chuckles* I appreciate the thought. You think after all this time I would be able to make a decision but I’m still dragging my feet. Frankly I don’t deserve his patience.

Terra:It’s not about deserving anything. When you love someone you’ll do practically anything for them. That being said, waiting is only gonna make you feel worse about it. Maybe revisit the conversation with him?

Ruby:*slumps over*.....can I get a glass of water?

Terra:One water, coming right up.

She goes to turn back on the faucet but nothing came out. No hot or cold water no matter which way she turned the handles. A long sigh escaped her as Ruby tried to contain her laughter. This isn’t the first time this has happened.

Ruby:How many times do you think they accidentally freeze the pipes?

Terra:I should really learn to wash dishes before they come around. *sighs*

[Garden]

Summer and Nick stand in the center holding both hands while facing each other. Ice around the floor is melting in various spots and both of them are out of breath; Summer more than Nick. They let on hand go and point to ground with their combined one. A glyph from each of them appears several inches away from their feet.

Nick:You sure huff you wanna try again? You look winded.

Summer:*shaking* Look who’s talking. huff we can take a break if you want? I’m perfectly fine.

Nick:I guess we’re doing this the. *inhales*

Slowly the two glyph merge into one. The intricate details of their family crest starts to glow as small sketches of swords swirl around it at increasing speed. Before long the entire glyph starts to get brighter as a hand reaches out of it. The twins try to keep their focus as the touches the floor to pull more of its icy, armor clad body out of the summoning glyph. After a minute of complete focus both of them were speechless to see a helmet start to arise; a ghostly light showing where it’s eyes would be. Sadly that’s all they got to see before Summer’s vision started to glow and she dropped to her hands knees with Nicholas quickly kneeling to aid her. The dual summoning quickly faded.

Nick:Summer!!? Are you okay?

Summer:Damnit......just huff just give me a minute okay? I’m sorry...

Nick:.......I think that’s enough for today.

Summer:What? No I’m-

Nick:Completely exhausted from earlier and out of stamina. Your body can’t take much more; let’s call it a day. *smiles*

Summer:........*leans on him* Sigh, once again I’m holding you back.

Nick:Pfft as if. I’m tired too ya know?

Summer:But you could keep going if you really wanted to. The only reason you stopped was because of me. I can never keep up with you.

Nick:I wouldn’t be too sure about that.

He props her up for a moment and let’s her hair down. At this point it’s almost as long as Weiss’s was when she was young. Summer looks at him weirdly as he combs his fingers through it to straighten it out a bit.

Summer:What are you doing?

Nick:Proving a point. You say you can never keep up with me but in terms of who’s the better looking twin, I’m always gonna lose. *smiles*

Summer:Geez you’re so dumb. *smiles*

Nick:I’m just saying I don’t have half as many people looking at as you do. All that beauty and talented singing draws a crowd.

Summer:People look at me because they know it makes me uncomfortable. The boys that stair are daft and any woman is judging or obviously don’t understand that they’re barking up the wrong tree.

Nick:Yoy should really tell Val that. Pretty sure she’s still holding onto hope.

Summer:Like how you’re holding onto hope for her?

Nick:*mumbles* I’m not holding onto anything.

Summer:If you say so. I’d give anything to be as amazing as you.....

Nick:But then you would be good at singing, a genius at glyphs, super calculated.....

Summer:You’re some of those things.

Nick:If I try time dilations I always shock myself or run into a wall. I don’t remember you ever doing that.

Summer:Nope, I over extend my arm doing rapid sword strikes unlike- OW!!!!!!

Nick:*grabbing her nose* Why are you trying so hard to stop me from building your self esteem? Who does that?

Summer:Nicholas this hurts!!

Nick:Say that you’re important and strong.

Summer:What are we five!?

Nick:*pinches harder*

Summer:I’m important and strong! I’m important and strong!!!!!!

Nick:Was that so hard? *lets go* all you needed was motivation.

Summer:*rubs nose* You sound like mom; you even pinch like her too.

Nick:Hey.......

Summer:Sigh What?

Nick:.......I’m only this strong because I have you. You’re the best partner I could ever ask for. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise alright?

His words sounded rather serious then; like it was almost challenging to say. He turned his head away but Summer could tell he was trying not to get emotional in front of her. Showing his feelings have never been problem in his life; their mother encouraged it greatly along with side their father. Still there were few things both of them had a bit of trouble when it came to being opened about certain things. Anyone who knows their history could guess why this topic made him sensitive; why he tried so hard to always be there for her. There was a time where those days could’ve ended before they truly began.

Summer:Listen Nick......I’m fine okay? See? *smiling* happy camper and ready for anything. You can’t cheer me up if you get all sad. What type of hypocrisy is that!?

Nick:*snorts* You’re right, thanks Summer. I’m gonna start packing; No doubt Auntie is gonna want to have us home before her scroll starts getting blown up with messages. * leaves*

Summer:I’ll be inside in a minute. Can you make sure all my dust vials are accounted for?

Nick:Ugh, so high maintenanced....

Summer:I love you Nick!

Nick:I love you too you butt!

Summer:That’s not how you build self esteem!

Nick:No but it’s how big brothers act! *closes door*

Summer:*lays down* “I’m important and strong.....”

“You called me the best partner you could ask for. That you needed me in order to be strong. Those words you told me that day meant more to me than you realize. I just.....I just wished I believed them like you did. Maybe then things could’ve been different; things could’ve been better........”

[Schnee Manor]

Many things in Atlas change with the trends and technology; the manor is not one of those things. Fabulous interior and pristine pillows all the same since when Jacques ran everything. One major difference though, it feels like a home. The house that held three children seen as property and two very broken adults now houses a much more charming family; Weiss’s family.

Currently she sits on the foot of her bed putting on icy blue heels that matches the casual, knee high dress she has on. Getting ready for the day has become much easier ever since she made her hair shoulder length. In no time at all she was ready for her date.

Weiss:Ready babe?

Jaune:*in a tux* Yeah it’s just this tie is giving me a bit of trouble.

Weiss:All this time and bow ties are still kicking your but. Let me see. *starts tying it*

Jaune:I can tie them just fine. I just needed you in arms reach. *holds her by the waist*

Weiss:If you wanted me close then all you needed to do was ask. *rubbing his face* want a kiss from your loving wife or something?

Jaune:I’m fine with just looking into your eyes and falling in love with you all over again.

Weiss:*blushing* Yeah you’re getting a kiss. *leaning in*

Nick:*door frame* Ugh so gross, right Summer?

Summer:*behind him* Super gross, they should really get a room.

Ruby:I know right?

*trio snickering*

Jaune:Well I guess the kids are back. *smiling*

Weiss:Yep, all three of them.

Ruby:Hey!!!! What’s that supposed to mean?

Weiss:That you maintain child like spirit.

Ruby:*squints* Not sure how to take that.

Weiss:That’s what makes you the greatest. *hugs her* So how was hanging with your aunties you two?

Twins:Fun and completely chill!

Nick:*whispers* literrally....

Summer:*elbows him* Anyways, the two of you look nice; going on a date?

Jaune:Yeah, we were just about to head out. We actually didn’t think you’d be home this soon. Is everything okay?

Ruby:Yeah, just thought these two should get some time at home before school starts in a few days.

Summer:It kills me every time you say that.

Jaune:Not looking forward to it?

Summer:School is just prison with less nutritious food.

Jaune:You are.....not wrong

Weiss:Jaune!

Jaune:I mean..... she’s not hehehe. Just enjoy the time you have left sweetie.

Summer:I know I know, I just rather be doing other things I suppose. Like making a song or something.

Nick:Just do that now.

Summer:It’ll be about hating school.

Nick:Sweet, I’ll play bass. Mom can sing backup.

Weiss:*scoffs* Backup, we duet or I’m out.

Summer:Wow, I see how it is. Can’t take the idol out of the mother now can we? Won’t even support her own daughter from the side light. *fake crying* Fine, I see how it is.

Weiss:Okay you mini drama queen. *hugs her*

Summer:I’m slightly taller than you. *hugging back*

Weiss:*sniffling* I know, it’s so unfair. Both of you have outgrown the person who brought you into this world. I guess that what happens when I marry a small giant.

Jaune:I’m not even that tall, you’re just short.

Weiss:*pouts* Just for that you get to pay for my dessert.

Ruby:Oooo get me something!

Weiss:I mean since you’re all here we could just make the date into a family dinner.

Nick:Nah, don’t let us get in the way of your date. I was actually thinking about getting some rest. Maybe going for a stroll outside or actually-

Weiss:Do your winter break project in time?

Nick:*sweats* Whaaaat? I’m done with that.

Everyone:.......

Nick:I’m gonna go double check it though. *runs off*

Summer:The sad thing about all that is in theory, that project is supposed to take the entire winter break to complete. Watch him finish in like two days; wish I could work under pressure like that.

Ruby:Trust me, it’s a skill that’s a blessing and a curse. Weiss has made me so many cups of coffee when I stayed up cramming. I should probably head out now. Whitley is probably still working so maybe I’ll surprise him.

Summer:If that’s the case can you give me lift? I guess now is a good as a time as any to check with the base.

Her family eyes widened in surprise. Jaune walks forward and gently cups her face. Their matching cobalt eyes meet each other with slight concern before she also cups his face and gives him a warm smile.

Jaune:You sure you don’t want any of us there for that?

Summer:I’ll be fine, it’s basically a routine check up by now. Seriously, don’t worry about me.

Jaune:If you say can do it alone then I guess you can. But if you change your mind-

Summer:Trust me, after all I’ll be in the best hands possible.

Jaune:*looks at Weiss*

Weiss:She’s not wrong, but I don’t have to tell you that.

Jaune:Okay, call us when your done and text your brother that you’re going.

Summer:Consider it done. Let’s go auntie. *walks off*

Weiss:*frowning*

Ruby:Nuh uh, there will be none of that. Smile as Jaune is about to spoil you with every dessert imaginable while I’ll continue to be the number one aunt. Don’t tell Saph I said that. *leaving*

Jaune:I will!

Ruby:Uuuuugggggghhhhh!

Weiss:Sigh

Jaune:It’ll be alright. *holding her close* I mean she’s strong like her mother.

Weiss:Pretty sure it has more to do with her father’s resolve.

Jaune:As much as I would love to argue which one of us is better, let’s go eat instead.

Weiss:Another plan bad the brilliant tactician. I’ll grab my purse.

xxx

The ride to the base wasn’t long. Before long, Summer was giving Ruby one final hug before stepping through the gates and waving to any guard that greeted her. The mechanical hallways might as well be a second home to her. Oil and hot metal slowly come to her mind as the smell hits her nose from the the bottom vents. The constant clicking of the programs working diligently upstairs. Soldiers drinking their usual blend in the break room not too far from the restrooms near the right wing. At this point Summer could walk through this blind and still know where every water fountain is.

Down in the left wing was her destination; the laboratories where the finest minds can be found hard at work. Unfortunately they always seem to find the time to notice when she’s in front of their work space. Each set of eyes fixed on her in fear, interest, anger, or twisted curiosity; all but one professor and a doctor with a room closed off from the others for the upmost care. Summer quickly made her way through the door and was pleased to see her favorite doctor tinkering away in their soiled lab coat. The whiteish room littered with science equipment and highly advanced pods against th back wall. A door to right is currently closed.

Summer:Hi Dr. Polendina.

Penny:Gasp! Salutations little Schnee!!!! *hugging her* what a pleasant surprise indeed!

Summer:Crushing.....wheeze you’re crushing!!!!

Penny:Oh! *lets go* I’m sorry, you think I would be used to that by now.

Summer:You think I would be prepared to dodge by now. How have you been?

Penny:I’ve been swell. Recently I’ve been working on a some secret things for the military.

Summer:Does that explain the spot and higher temperature in this room? Making a bomb or something?

Penny:I’m not at liberty to say but I will tell you I’m running out of fire dust. So what brings you back to my home away from home; check up time already? *analyzing her*

Summer:Unfortunately.

Penny:Well let’s see if we can learn something new today. *locks door* I’ll get my tape recorded and everything set up while you get ready.

Summer nodded and started to undress until she was in a sports bra and compression shorts. Completely unladylike to most high class citizens of Atlas but she isn’t like average people. She couldn’t help but glance at a pod to see her reflection. Her face always bunched up at seeing all the puncture scars she has. Bellow her right rib, small ones on her thighs, a faded one on her left shoulder while she a couple more on her right arm, the soles of her feet and graze scar near her heart. At least her face was mostly untouched besides the slight scratch on her jaw line.

Thankfully most of these have faded dramatically due to age but she couldn’t help but wrap her arms around herself. Embarrassed to look at all her imperfections. Those thoughts quickly fled when Penny touched her shoulder smiling.

Penny:Beautiful as ever I see.

Summer:*smiling* Thank you.

Penny:As usual I’m putting these wires on you to check your vitals then you’re going into the second pod from the right.

Summer:Is there any reason you never put me in the first pod? *stepping into number two*

Penny:Sentimental value; I got made in it more or less. *looking at scroll* Your vitals are pretty normal. Well, except your temperature for obvious reasons. You know 93 degrees Fahrenheit means you should be experiencing hypothermia right?

Summer:So I’ve heard. Nature’s rules sort of doesn’t care about me.

Penny:We’ll see about that. I’m going to release a little bit of the dust know okay? Just remember to take calming breaths and relax. Also.....waffles.

Summer:What?

Penny:It’ll make sense soon. *pushes button*

The pod is sealed shut and a glowing white dust is dispersed inside. A bit of anxiety creeps it’s way through her body but Summer follows the direction to the letter and closes her eyes. It’s a waiting game for Penny as her patient slowly zones out. No better time to start recording the long she supposes.

Penny:Okay so this is entry log 72 I believe. Once again I’m running test on Summer Schnee to help with her...affliction. Eleven years ago the girl’s mother found the existence of an ice dust deposit far more pure and refined than anyone thought possible; currently known as diamond Dust. Studies over the years have granted less information than we desired but far from useless.

*looking through notes*

Penny:Cell preservation, cold fusion, absolute zero, suspended animation; all things that have greatly benefited from this discovery and even the promotion of healing has accrued in the subject. At age five Summer Schnee was caught in an Diamond Dust explosion due to its volatile natural. Several large pieces of the dust as well as a few shards were lodged into their body and the subject was blasted into a frozen lake. An event like this should lead to almost instant death yet she remains alive and relatively healthy.

Summer*:drifting off*

Penny:Blood samples have shown traces of the unique ice dust still flowing through her veins; could all this all be possible through the immediately use of her brother’s semblance to try and diminish the dust in her? Is it the cause other side of my patient? Medical research has found numerous draw backs for it though aren’t atypical for excessive dust exposure expect one. It appears diamond dust might have some sort of affect on the psyche. Multiple patients have come back after treatments explaining how their head felt cloudy or even slightly depressed; all symptoms faded in a few days.

Summer:Zzzzzzz

Penny:Is.....I think subject fell asleep? Strange, it doesn’t take much diamond dust to activate Shiva and the pod temperature is-

75 degrees Fahrenheit

Penny:Whoops! Let’s drop that down to around 40.

Summer:*hair turning white*

Penny:That’ll do it. *messing with recorder* Near death, hypothermia, lack of oxygen due to near drowning, blood loss; all things that can very well lead to brain damage or a mental health problem by themselves, yet no loss in any motor functions or brain activity I can see. With the addition of the dust maybe she’s just-

Thump!

Her train of thought was immediately broken. Green eyes met icy blue through the thick pod door. The sound of thumping kept happening rhythmically as her patient gently put her head against the glass repeatedly in boredom. The wires on her ripped off and on the floor.

Penny:Salutations! Ready for your check up?*smiles*

Shiva:Sigh, not this nonsense again..... Salutations my cybernetic warden.

Penny:This is a lab, not a jail. Also I’m a doctor and a scientist.

Shiva:You are a very cute and very expensive toaster oven with a conscience. Open.The.Door.

Penny:*writing* Patient B is still more aggressive and unfriendly unlike patient A.

Shiva:Are you even listening to me!? Also why am I B when I’m better than Summer!?

Summer:(can you say something that isn’t insulting to anyone?)

Shiva:Make me, if not then shut up and be quiet. The grown ups are talking.

Summer:.......

Penny:Shiva, do you by any chance know the breakfast item I said a several minutes ago?

Shiva:When was breakfast mentioned? You’ve been rambling to yourself since you messed with thermostat.

Penny:(Interesting.......)

She started pacing the room and examining Shiva. Her veins and scars glowed a faint blue in time with her breath. The way she was focused and more examining her surroundings showed some neat changes from Summer. Every movement she made was almost child like; constantly swaying and visibly annoyed at the locked door She breathed on the glass leaving frost. Soon after she started to smirk as she ran her nails down it. Letting her out would be a bad idea; her presence itself was reeking of danger. Penny was curious but far from stupid; not to mention a powerhouse. It’s one of the main reasons she is lead doctor and scientist to learn more about person called Shiva.

Shiva:You should really open the door. I would hate to break it down like last time.

Penny:This door is far stronger than the last one.

Shiva:You sound so confident.

Penny:Mrs.Xiao Long couldn’t make a dent with a maxed out punch. Even if you did get out nothing would happen. It’s way hotter out here than it is in there.

Shiva:God I’m gonna love the day all this preparation goes to shit. I’ll admit you’re charming but I hope you know I’ll most likely have to scrap you the day I eventually snuff out Atlas’s precious little snowflake once in for all. Gotta tie up loose ends. That includes your hus-

Penny:I would very much appreciate it if we kept things civil between us. Threatening each other won’t make this process shorter in the long run. *grabbing thermostat knob* So please refrain from talking about Professor Pine.

Shiva:Awww looks like I hit a nerve if that’s even possible with you. Listen, why would I ever make your life easier when you’re trying to do the impossible? I’m here to stay; Summer has no one to blame but herself for that. Maybe if she wasn’t so weak and useless then I wouldn’t have had to save her sorry ass from the lake.

Penny:Summer as told me you’ve mentioned this before. Shiva, what exactly are you?

Shiva:Isn’t that obvious yet?

Penny:???

Shiva:I’m me of course, someone that everyone should be wary of hehehe. Or who knows what might happen!?

The lab itself slowly got a chill as Shiva started laughing to herself. Her eyes and hair started to glow a bit brighter while the inside of the pod started to freeze. Penny gasped as the temperature inside was starting to drop. Immediately she raised it back to 75 which stopped the chill in its track. Shiva knelt down and started to feel weak.

Shiva:Hmph, what happened to my checkup? Too scared to continue?

Penny:The pod was recording everything I needed, including vitals and brain activity. The wires you took off was just for show.

Shiva:Well isn’t someone just prepared for everything? Let’s hope being a widow is one of them.

Penny:Sigh goodbye Shiva.

Shiva:I prefer, see you later.....

Eyes close and hair goes back to pale blonde; even her veins stop glowing. Soon Penny is greeted with cobalt blue eyes and a very ashamed look. Penny opens the door and is spooked for Summer to fall right into her arms.

Summer:I’m sorry she said those things.

Penny:I’ve heard and felt worse. So you were listening the whole time? Can she hear me now.

Summer:No, too hot and tired. Speaking of tired....can I lay down for a second?

Penny:Of course, take a break then you’ll continue the rest with my hus- *giggles* the Professor; I’ll never get used to that.

Summer:Think you learned anything useful?

Penny:Hopefully, I have a bunch of theories.

Summer:Good, that’s a relief......zzzzzzzz

Penny:*smiles* Out like a light.*clicks recorded* note to self, be wary of temperatures in varying locations. *looks at pod*

*slightly cracked glass*

Penny:Failure to do so could be.....fatal.

Part 2

#rwby #rwby twin snowflakes #nicholas schnee #summer schnee #terra cotta arc #ruby rose #rwby wild rose #penny polendina #rwby data farms #weiss schnee #jaune arc #this took longer than expected #saphron arc

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jungwoohoos · 5 years

Text

uni!jungkook

genre: fluff

word count: 2.1k

you can’t throw a ball to save your life, but being on a volleyball team with jungkook makes you really want to try

You thought Saehyun was drunk when she first asked you to join her intramural volleyball team

But after some tests--”you know I can’t walk in a straight line even when I’m sober, WHICH I AM”, you figured out she wasn’t drunk

And you were even more confused

Because she’s seen how uncoordinated you are when it comes to your eyes and limbs communicating

One time at a barbecue, you somehow managed to fall into the KanJam bucket when going for the frisbee

The frisbee ended up veering off course and hitting your niece in the head

You had to bribe her with an unlimited supply of mint chocolate chip ice cream for her to stop crying

And there was that other time you asked to borrow a pen from Gyeongsuk and got poked in the eye

He’s on the basketball team so it wasn’t like he mistakenly aimed for your face

It just somehow...landed right in your eye

If Saehyun had asked you to join her team, you knew she had to have been desperate

You went back and forth for a little bit

“Saehyun, you know what I’m like with limb eye coordination. I’m going to dismember myself before the first game even happens”

“But, but”

She gives you that look, eyes big and mouth pouty, hands clasped in earnest right below her chin

She gave you the spiel about it being one of her biggest life goals, to be captain of an intramural volleyball team

With her little frown and puppy eyes, you had already made up your mind

“I’ll send you the hospital bill after the season’s over” you mumbled into her shoulder when she crushed you into a hug

The bill was coming a lot sooner than you thought

You had already gotten hit twice in the head

You weren’t even trying to do anything--you were just standing there??

There must be some sort of gravitational pull toward the center of your head

You tucked yourself into the corner after suffering those two mini concussions

4 other people from the team were tossing the ball around

You wanted to stay in your safe zone a little longer before putting yourself in danger for a full game

Saehyun comes over a few minutes later, and you have to swat her flitting hands

“I’m fine I’m fine, stop, stop” and her flailing arms finally take their place at her sides

The game’s about to start in 5 minutes, so you start walking towards center court

“Oh!! I forgot to tell you. Jungkook, that guy from my tech drawing class, is coming. You’ll like him. He’s cute :))”

“Ugh yes, I knew there was some legitimate reason as to why I’m sacrificing my life to join this team”

She just flicks your arm and keeps on walking

You’re intrigued though because when Saehyun says someone’s cute, they’re usually pretty cute

Although you kinda had someone in mind

Coffee Thottie

Saehyun gagged every time you said that, but she’s never seen him get up to throw his garbage away

He is a certified thicc hottie

He’s typically tucked away in the corner of one of your favorite coffee shops

Sometimes he’s doodling on napkins and other times it’s nicer drawing paper

You’ve never gotten the chance to sneak a peek because you get too nervous

You two kinda know each other because you’re regulars

So he’ll always give you a little smile when he sees you

His eyes crinkle up, and his cheeks squish together

And his hair falls into his eyes when he’s drawing

No matter how long he’s been there for, he always cleans up his stuff and moves if he sees someone older walk in

And there was that one time when you spilled tea all over your shirt because he stretched his arm behind his head and his bicep bunched up

You were able to furiously dab at it before it stained too much, but it was too late because you were warm from seeing him and your chest was burning from your tea

You knew nothing would ever happen because you don’t even know his name or if he’s in school

So you just let yourself enjoy Coffee Thottie because it made your days much more bearable

The refs started gathering everyone toward the net to explain the rules

Just a lot of jargon you didn’t understand, but you were a valued member of this team now so you nodded like everything made sense to you

You saw someone walking toward the group out of the corner of your eye, but he settled somewhere behind you so you couldn’t see who it was

After the coin toss, which Saehyun won, everyone started getting into their spots

Saehyun had planned where everyone was going to be to maximize play efficiency

She put you in the back left corner for those “tight hits”

Mostly because only 4% of the hits ever came that way

You were fixing your way when you heard your name being called

“Jungkook’s going to be right next to you, so don’t worry!! He’s very athletic!!”

You made sure your hair was out of your face before turning to your right

God

It’s Coffee Thottie

Jungkook is Coffee Thottie

Your brain short-circuited, and you prayed that you weren’t drooling, but Coffee Thottie was standing next to you with a surprised look on his adorable face

And he was wearing shorts, which you had never seen him wear before

Thottie yes he was

He sticks out his hand, which snaps you back to reality, and you fumble a bit before you take it in yours

His hand completely envelops yours, and you’re pretty sure you can stay like this forever

He gives a small smile (only minimal eye crinkling, sad) and introduces himself

After you exchange names, you both interrupt each other

“You go to Green Bean rig--”

“You’re always drawing in Green Be--”

You both laugh and nod, confirming each others’ thoughts

You hear the whistle blow, and Saehyun yells for everyone to get in formation

“I hope you’re good at volleyball because I think Saehyun will go on strike if we lose because of me” you say before scooting to your spot

There’s a little tinkle of laughter from him

Hehehehe

Oh boy, you know you’re done for

The game honestly doesn’t go too poorly

Putting Jungkook next to you was an ace choice because he was able to save all the hits that would have somehow found a way to hit you

He’s so supportive when you go to serve and hit him in the back

He pretends like it threw out his back, hunched over and cramping, but he gave you a thumbs up and mouthed “don’t worry” when he saw you getting worried

And you got some pretty nice views of his butt

Which was truly what got you through

Along with his cute smile and encouraging comments

You ended up winning 3 out of 4 sets

Saehyun fell to the floor and almost started crying

Everyone loitered for a bit, getting their bags settled and putting on their coats

You and Jungkook had somehow started talking about skittles

You were adamant that red was the best color, but he had never even heard of red because green was clearly the superior color

“Okay, but tell me why the red ones are always left after the bag’s empty. It’s because they’re gross!!”

“It’s because you’re not hanging out with people who can appreciate the true culinary genius of red skittles, Jungkook”

Jungkook thought it was cute how passionate you were about the conversation

Your eyebrows would furrow in concentration, and you had a habit of biting the inside of your lip and then letting it bounce

That was a little distracting to say the least

He had no idea that the cute friend Saehyun was talking about was you, the cute girl who always sat by the window and read

He liked to draw you sometimes because you looked so peaceful when you were reading

And he thought he would catch you looking sometimes, but you always averted your eyes so soon after, so he could never tell

But you were definitely looking at him now, and he liked the warm feeling that was settling in his stomach

Saehyun was calling your name, the signal that it was time to head out

She was your ride, and you didn’t feel like walking across campus in the rain

You didn’t want to stop talking to Jungkook though

Because he was looking at you with those eyes

And because you felt obligated to educate him on his incorrect decisions

But Saehyun’s halfway out the door and threatening to let you walk, so you wave and tell him that you’ll see him at the next game, two days from then

And so you start this little routine

The nights you didn’t have games, you would sometimes see him at Green Bean

You’ve started joining him in his corner table

Which you really like because the nook is perfect to curl up in with your book

He always buys your drink for you

Will point outside and say there’s a dog to distract you so he can pay

But sometimes you get him back by buying grapefruit tarts

He actually likes the peach tarts a little more, but he knows how much you love grapefruit, so he doesn’t say anything

He likes watching how your face lights up when you eat something yummy

At games, there’s still a lot of encouraging

Jungkook’s learned that you somehow always attract the ball

So he makes sure to make sure you’re never in danger of getting hurt

The times where you accidentally collide and you put your hands on his arms are just an added bonus

You’ve gotten really comfortable around each other

Your favorite activity is to make fun of each other

How he can’t look anywhere close to the sun without sneezing

How you hoard deodorant because you sweat a lot

You become each others’ go to for emotional support

Which you never really expected

But it happened one day when you had had a draining day

Your code for your final project had been running for 17 hours and then crashed

10 hours before it was due

This was still when you hadn’t known Jungkook for too long

But for some reason, your thumb hovered over his name on your phone

So you called him blubbering because you were convinced you were going to fail the class and never graduate or get a job and be able to support your dog-son

It was a lot to put on someone you had only really met a month ago

Honestly, he didn’t know what to do for about a minute

Because you sounded really upset, which made him upset

But also because he had never really been that great at comforting people

But he knew you loved fireflies, and parts of his room had been glowing on and off for the last few hours from the fireflies outside of his window

He picked you up, making sure to give you his sweatshirt

Which only made you look cuter, all cozy in his clothes

And he sat you on a bench and held you

Let you cry and let whatever you needed out

But also made sure to point out the fireflies once you had wiped away your tears

How they must feel lost sometimes, especially during the day when they can’t glow

But the moment they find the nighttime, they can be themselves

You’re the same way

School’s hard right now, but if you push through, you’ll find a place where you’ll be fully comfortable with who you are and what you can do

It’s cheesy, he knows

But it was worth it when you whispered a “thank you” against his neck and kissed him on the cheek

And now months after that

You’re celebrating the fact that your volleyball team is INTRAMURAL CHAMPIONS

Saehyun did cry when you won the championship game, and she started puttering around, tears blurring her vision, to set up a party

It was almost 1 am, and everyone was blissed out and a little tipsy

Most of the team was passed out on the ground or had gone out to get food

You and Jungkook were on the couch, half watching the nature documentary that was playing

You weren’t talking, but it was a comfortable silence

His legs thrown over yours, head on your shoulder

You liked how he was so big but could curl up into a little ball around you

His hand was playing with yours, rubbing circles into your skin and running his fingertips over yours

You knew you two would have to talk about it sooner or later, but for now, you were content with feeling his steady heartbeat against you

#man i really went off on this didn't i #uni!jungkook just makes me wooooooo #my writing #bts headcannon #bts imagine #jungkook headcannon #jungkook imagine #bts scenario #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #uni!jungkook #bts drabble #jungkook scenario #bts fic #bts jungkook #jungkook fic #kpop fic

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krystal-twi · 5 years

Note

ALL OF THEM. FOR ERRORINK. (Heheheh it’s ME again! :D)

Sorry this took so long!!

.1. Who offers their jacket when the other is cold?

Error would but he would deny it… Ink would just smile and cuddle into the jacket. (holding back the urge to tease Error.)

2. Who giggles uncontrollably when the other playfully picks them up?

Ink. But Error normally only picks Ink up when Ink is being an annoying little pest and needs to be thrown away. Ink finds it hilarious and just giggles his butt off.

3. Who compliments the other in front of everyone?

Ink. Ink loves seeing how flustered Error becomes over it and this normally leads to number 2.

4. Who is more likely to tell the other a pun and what is the other’s reaction to the pun?

Depends on the type of pun. Error is more likely to tell more gruesome puns. Which Ink doesn’t really react negatively too. He snickers and makes some of his own.

5. When one of them has a bad day, what does the other do to help?

Ink gives Error his space. Also makes sure no one who Error doesn’t want near, gets close to Error. Ink knows Error likes his peace and quiet. On some occasions, Ink watched Undernovela with him. But that’s only if Error is in the mood for company.

Error distracts Ink. He doesn’t know how to really deal with some of Ink’s bad days. So he tries his best to distract Ink from it.

6. If they got to pick what one another wears for a day, what would another wear?

This would be Error’s torture. Ink would pick the most colorful stuff he could find. He probably would end up looking similar to Fresh, which would make Error want to destroy the outfit and silently scream.

I can see Error not really caring about what he would make Ink wear. Though if he HAD too, it would be darker clothes.

7. Who introduces their partner to their family first? How does it go?

Ink would be the first to do so. Well, introduce to his friends officially. Though, for obvious reasons, there would be a backlash. Then slowly the friends would come around, thinking. “It’s Ink, this isn’t the weirdest thing he has done,”

Error would never feel the need to introduce Ink officially. It’s his business and his alone.

8. In a coffee shop AU, who would be the coffee shop employee and who would be the customer?

Ink would be a very happy and popular worker. Someone who gets along with all his coworker and customers...until Error comes along. Error doesn’t care about or for Ink. Ink would be determined to win over this grumpy customer.

9. When they sit side by side, do they touch one another? For example, does one person has their arm around the other, do they sit holding hands, or linked arms, ECT.

Not really. Honestly, Ink and Error would take forever to even get used to being close to one another without violence. Doesn’t help that Error hate’s touch. They just like each others company.

10. What is a small thing that one another does to make their partner happy?

Ink’s respect and patience for Error’s fear of being touched, makes Error feel happy. It’s rare to find someone who wouldn’t expect more from Error. So knowing Ink is more than willing to wait, makes him feel happy.

Though he refuses to admit it. (He is a tsundere, okay???)

Ink knows how hard it is for Error to open up. Especially to Ink himself. So when Error does open up to Ink, it makes the colorful monster happy. Error trusts him enough to do so!

11. What would they do to celebrate their one year anniversary?

Error and Ink would spend it in Outertale with a portal opened to Undernovela. Ink would spend some of the time drawing Error under the stars.

12. When did they know that loved each other, and when did they first tell each other that they loved one another?

Error would have realized it LONG before they started dating. Though he would have trouble expressing it. When he finally did, it was a few years into them dating.

Ink realized he loved Error a few months into them dating. Ink didn’t hesitate to tell Error it either.

13. Who likes to give the other hugs from behind followed by a kiss?

Error actually does! Ink rarely starts any kind of contact and same goes for Error. But when it comes to kisses and hugs from behind, it is Error.

14. Who would make a playlist for the other person? What would be featured on the playlist?

Ink would. I think he would make two, one for Error to keep and one for Ink to keep.

Love the Way you lie by Eminem and Rihanna

The other side by Luke Conard and Alyssa Poppin

Demons by Imagine Dragons

Sweet but Psycho by Ava Max

I couldn’t really think of any songs… Especially ones that describe them each perfectly. So i went with what was close enough.

15. Who would bring their partner on a romantic date under the stars?

Error. Ink loves stars, but wouldn’t think of having a date under them. Error would mostly cause stars can relax him enough.

#errorink #errink #sanscest

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anime-dub-transcripts · 2 years

Text

Hetalia: Axis Powers Episode #49 Transcript

This episode has Japan's isolation and Japan trying to imitate France.

Japan: Fresh milk for sale here.

{Caption: Japan and its approaching cultural enlightenment}

Japan: Tasty delicious milk…right from the cow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Caption: Japan had been shutting himself in for hundreds of years but…}

America: Japan, your lonely loner days are now over!

{Caption: The End…of his days of shutting himself in has come}

{Text on sign: Japan’s Room}

Japan’s boss: Hey, Japan! Get your butt out here! Monsieur France has come to pay you a visit!

(Monsieur: Mr. → French)

Japan: I don’t want to.

Japan’s boss: Ouah!

Japan: He probably wants to trick me into a treaty that get him a cheap electronic. And then he liberate all our women by teaching them to wear pants.

Japan’s boss: Hey! If you never let anybody in, you’re a stranger to the world! How would they get anime?

Japan: I’m. Not. Coming. Out!

Japan’s boss: Are you suure? Monsieur France brought cute little kitty-witty with him!

(Monsieur: Mr. → French)

Japan: Nh…ohh…

Japan’s boss: Finally! Now hurry up and go say hi to Mr. Frenchie!

Japan: I’ll just see the kitty.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Japan: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Japan’s thoughts: Our era of cultural enlightenment has reached its peak. Since Mr. France took time out of his busy schedule to visit us here today, I might as well try adopting his culture by watching and imitating.

Japanese girl #1: Ah, did you see how they kissed?

Japanese girl #2: Hehehehe!

France: Mwa!

Japanese girl #1, Japanese girl #2: Woaahhh! Hehehehe!

Japan: The things France does seem so strange to me and my simple ways. However…shall I give them a try? Mmmmmm…mwa! Seriously, what am I doing?!

France: Ahchoo! Ngh…

Japan: Ah…achoo!

France: Oh, man, I’ve got a stinking head cold!

Japan: Oh, man, I’ve got a stinky head cold.

France: Huh? Wow, this guy France is totally super cool! He’s, like, the best ever!

Japan: Wow, this guy France is totally super---auh!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

France: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Japanese girl: Nhhhhh…

Japanese children: Nhhhhhhh….

Japan: Aoh?

Japanese children: Nhhhhh…

Japan: What’s wrong? Did you all eat your ice cream too fast?

(Japanese children: Nhhhh…)

Japanese girl: It’s a French thing! They call it “clairvoyance!” Do you want to do it with us?

(Japanese children: Nhhhh…)

Japan: Nuaah!

Japanese girl: Close your eyes, think really hard, and you can see things far away!

Japan: O…kay? Nhhhh…

Japanese girl: Can you see anything?

Japan: Nhhhhhh! Ah, I can!

Dream Japanese man #1: Aah, look! I invented something called an anime styling board!

Dream Japanese man #2: The worker likes leave it all to meeee!

Dream Japanese man #3: Uaaahh…I’ll never be any good!

Dream Japanese man #4: Please! Don’t make me draw any more panties!

Japan: Aoh!

Japanese girl: Did you see it?!

Japan: No, I could not see.

Japanese girl: Aww…

Japan: Sorry.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Canada: Hetalia!

{Caption: Hetalia}

Canada: Huah…hey, Mr. Kumajiro? Why doesn’t anybody ever remember who I am?

Kumajiro: Hmm…who are you?

Canada: I’m Canada, your owner!

Kumajiro: Hmm…it’s hard to tell who you are! You should try to look more Canadian.

Canada: Great idea! I just have to change my appearance so it’s completely unmistakable who I am! And that’s why I ended up tattooing a maple leaf on my forehead!

America: Yup, you sure did…hehe.

Canada: This way I’ll never be mistaken for America---augh! That’s weird…did something just happen to me?

America: Hahaha! I saved you from a life of ridicule!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

America: S’up, dudes; I’m America! I came here to teach my new friend a game! For reals, y’all; Japan and I are homies!

Japanese boy: Woah, a real foreigner!

Japanese girl: Why is he so loud?

Japan: Oah…

Children: To be continued!

{Caption: To be continued}

#anime #anime transcripts #anime dub transcripts #hetalia #hetalia dub transcripts

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diyunho · 7 years

Text

The Joker x Reader - “The Bucket List” part 3

Two months after breaking up with The Joker, you found out the bad news. You didn’t have a choice but to ask for his help and J didn’t even show up for the meeting. Of course he didn’t care, but now that he heard why you wanted to see him so badly, it might be too late for any amendments.

Part 1: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/161143650396/the-joker-x-reader-the-bucket-list

Part 2: http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/161379886591/the-joker-x-reader-the-bucket-list-part-2

J is sleeping with his head against your chest, completely out of it. He likes to do this lately since a lot of times he can’t really tell if you’re still breathing or not. Even if your blood pressure gets really low, he can at least hear your heartbeat and knows you’re alive.

Suddenly, he yanks at your waist so hard it wakes you up and you start coughing in a frenzy, startled.

“What’s wrong, baby?” you ask, trying to calm down and J gasps for air, opening his eyes to look at you.

“I dreamed that you died,” he snuggles to your body even more, panting.

“It was a nightmare; I’m here,” you kiss his forehead and manage to stop coughing. You peek at the clock: only 6am. “We should sleep in, it’s very early.”

The Joker just growls and rubs his eyes, uneasy for a few more moments.

“I’m gonna miss you…” you whisper in his ear.

“I’m not going anywhere, Pumpkin,” he yawns, exhausted.

“But I am…” you sadly smile and he frowns, watching you attempt to get comfortable in his arms.

“NO!” J utters, covering your mouth. “You’re staying with me, OK?”

You don’t reply and he lets go. You feel the need to get it all out before it’s too late:

“I really wanted a baby…with your eyes and my hair. Remember how pretty my hair used to be?”

He doesn’t know what to say and you continue:

“I know you wanted a boy, I’m sorry I can’t have children in the state I’m in…” and you take a deep breath, struggling not to cry.

“Don’t worry about it, Princess, I don’t care,” he grumbles and you peck his lips, getting more and more upset: “I don’t want to die…” you finally bring it up for the first time ever and bite on your tongue really hard so you won’t start sobbing.

“Jesus, kid, I won’t let you die, OK?!” J strives to comfort you and squeezes you in his arms harder.

“Do you think I’ll make it to my 37th birthday?” you whimper, worried about the gloomy future.

“For God’s sake, of course you will! And then you’ll make it to another one, and another one, and another one… I promise!” he lifts your chin up so you can look at him.

“Really?” you gulp, staring in his blue eyes.

“Yes, I promise!” he insists and you bury your face in his neck, wanting to point out the truth:

“You’re such a shitty liar…” and you sniffle, quietly crying on his skin.

J would like to say more, but decides it’s better to change the subject since he feels flustered himself.

“Did you just wipe your nose on my shoulder?!”

“M-maybe…” you stammer, snorting.

“That’s just gross, Doll. I put up with a lot of stuff, but I have to draw a line here, alright?” he elbows you and you retreat to your pillow so you can see him better.

“You should let your hair grow,” you suggest, stroking his shaved head, actually wanting to talk about something else too. “I don’t want to!” he huffs, tracing your jawline with his fingers. “I miss your green hair, you know that?” you admit, playing with his diamond earring.

“Meh, I don’t,” he grumbles, stubborn as always.

“You think I should wear wigs?” you crinkle your nose, not excited at your own proposal.

“Nahhh, I like you bald, I got used to it. This way we match, hm?”

“That’s good,” you sigh, relieved,” because I don’t want to wear wigs. If it’s not my hair, I don’t want it.”

“Wise decision, Pumpkin. I mean, you look decent enough, especially with makeup on. I have high standards and I had to lower them for you. The sacrifices I make…I’m so selfless and altruistic, a true gentleman and an exemplary boyfriend.”

You watch him with your mouth open, intrigued. You don’t even notice you’re not crying anymore.

“What?!”

“You heard me, you naughty minx. You’re suuuuch a lucky woman,” he eagerly mentions. “Do you know how many girls are waiting in line to get a piece of this?” J scoffs with an attitude.

You turn around towards the glass sliding door, glaring outside at the deserted back yard, not even a bird this early in the morning.

“Wow, so many women willing to take on The Clown Prince of Crime,” you pretend to be surprised. “We do have a huge line on the patio. Which one do you want?”

He snickers and you giggle, finally amused.

“Shut up, Y/N,” he shifts you towards him again, locking his arms around your neck.“Let’s sleep in so zip it. Oh, and for the record: this was the worst pillow talk we ever had!”

You indifferently blink, liking the idea of having a lazy morning:

“It wasn’t that bad…What worries me though is all those women waiting to get you; we should give them numbers, I don’t want them to fight about who goes first,” you kiss him and he purrs, annoyed.

“I am a very wanted man!”

“Yeah, by the cops and Batsy…” you mutter and J smirks, victorious:

“Still counts!!”

“If you say so…”

After 10 minutes

“J…?”

“Hm?”

“After I die, can you please get a girlfriend that’s not as pretty as me?” you beg, anguished.

“Shush!” and he slaps your butt; The Joker absolutely hates it when you bring this up.

“At least you’ll be able to have children…” you ignore his warning, sensing another wave of hurtful feelings washing all over you.

“Cut it out, Y/N!”

“I…I hope your kids are ugly!!!!” you have an outburst while he rolls his eyes, irritated. But he knows you’re depressed and he knows the reason why: yesterday, your blood tests came back bad (again) and the weekly doctor visit didn’t go to too well either. All after you tried 3 new drugs that supposedly worked OK in the experimental phase but didn’t do anything for you and it’s discouraging.

****************

After waking up, you are both hanging out in the kitchen. You are looking at the breakfast food that Frost dropped off, not wanting to eat one single item; you’re already nauseated. A bunch of your favorites and it almost makes you gag. You study the lab results, sulking, wishing for once there was some kind of improvement.

“Eat something, Pumpkin,” J urges you, taking a bite out of a fresh bagel.

“I’m not hungry,” you sigh, reading without seeing anything but demoralizing news.

“You have to eat, that’s why you’re so skinny,” he gives you a cup of coffee and you take a sip to please him.

“I’m not skinny because I’m not eating and you know it…” you speak in a low voice, licking your lips. He decides not to reply. “J…?”

“Yes?”

“I didn’t mean it when I said I want your kids to be ugly…”

“Drop it, Kitten!” he pouts, moving some strawberries on a small plate.

“But…how can they be cute if I’m not their mom?…” you swallow your tears and take deep breaths, trying to cool down.

“I said drop it!” J barks and you gaze at the yummy goodies he put together for you, nibbling on a muffin, this way he won’t complain you’re not eating. He watches how much you struggle to pretend you’re alright after he cut you off and doesn’t like it.

“Did it hurt, Princess?” The Joker winks, getting your attention.

“Huh?”

“Did it hurt?” “What baby?” you inquire, confused.

“When that portal from hell opened and you spawned through it right into my life,” he grins, very confident in his seduction technique.

Your eyes get big and you chuckle, then actually start laughing, entertained.

“You have the worst pickup lines, but I actually like this one! Do you have more?” you suggest he keeps going, placing your elbows on the counter and checking him out in those gray sweatpants that keep on sliding down every time he moves. J never bothers to tighten the string.

“Excuse you, Doll,” he huffs, “if my pickup lines are horrible, then why are you blushing?!”

“I’m not blushing, I have hot flashes from my pills,” you defend you rosy cheeks, flattered.

“Nonsense! You’re all worked up about it, don’t lie!”

You hop on the counter and crawl on his side, eager to touch your boyfriend. He drags you in front of him and you sit up there while holding his hands, curious to hear what’s next:

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?” he roars and you bounce your legs, excited.

“Hehehehe,” you giggle on his chest and he tries not to laugh.

“Is there a mirror in your pants, Doll? Cause I can see myself in them,” he pulls on your bottom lip and you bite his finger, feeling your cheeks getting warmer.

“It’s the hot flashes,” you try to defend yourself and he is not buying it.

“Don’t think so!” he tugs on your tank top, preparing his lethal weapon: “Princess, you turn my software into hardware.”

You snort so loud it echoes all over the place.

“Oh my God, this is terrible!” you shake your head, though fascinated at how bad it sounded.

“No, for reals, you do!” J hums in your ear and you look down at his crotch.

“A-ha, I can tell!”

“You’re such a perv, Pumpkin; my eyes are up here,” the cocky answer comes without hesitation. You kiss his Jester tattoo and walk your fingers down his abs, anxious to do something about this new spin on your morning. The anti-nausea meds you took are starting to work so might as well take advantage; who knows how many times you’ll be able to sleep with him before…

The Joker gets you out of your daze:

“Wow, Y/N, you seem so desperate to get me naked; don’t you have any pride left?!”

“Not really,” you brazenly admit and moan when you feel his hands all over you.

“You’re a good kisser, kid,” J parts from your lips and takes off your tank top, tossing it on the chair.

“For sure,” you approve, sliding back more so he can get on the counter too. He starts kissing his way down your waist and you scream.

“You’re starting early, I like it…Daddy’s gonna make you…”

You scream louder:

“Spider!!!”

“Huh?!”

“Spider!!!!!” you point behind him and he turns his head to look: there is indeed a little creature crossing the wall on top of the sink. “Do something, baby, I hate spiders!!!” you shiver under him, getting goosebumps.

“For God’s sake, woman, I’m trying to have sex here!” he mutters, aggravated at the interruption.

“I hate spiders! Please kill it!!!!” you implore, digging your nails in his back.

“All the stuff you use to do before you got sick and you’re still afraid of spiders?!” J gets off the counter and you cling to him, stiff as a board:

“I detest these insects; so nasty, ewwww. Please kill it!” you beg once more, choking the life out of him. He grabs a tissue from the box, heading over to grant your wish while your legs are squeezing his waist with a strength he didn’t think you have left in you; both your arms are wrapped around his neck super tight - you definitely are tense and disgusted.

The Joker smooshes the culprit and now it’s resting in peace in the trashcan where it belongs.

“Happy now?” he grins, heading back towards the counter.

“Thank you, baby, I really can’t stand those beasts! You really are my knight in shining armor.”

“Told ya’!” he puffs, full of himself. “Any more crap I have to kill before we get down to business?”

“No, I think we’re good now,” your body finally relaxes when you are placed back on the countertop and he can finally breathe normal again.

“You still have a mean grip, you know that? You certainly have your skills Doll,” J praises you, actually surprised on how powerful your clasp was.

“Of course I still have them, just didn’t use them in forever. I’m not completely useless, OK?” you smack your lips and he is fast to push you on your back, smirking.

“Less talk and more action, Princess! The only word I wanna hear you scream is my name, understood?”

“Spider!!!!” you shout, teasing, and then surrender under his weight.

“Ha! Funny!” he growls, yearning to have you once more.

*******************

When the night comes, you can’t sleep at all. You keep on tossing and turning, somber thoughts flooding your mind. You decide to go in the backyard and walk it off because you don’t want to keep J up with your restlessness. He isn’t actually sleeping, just pretends and watches as you march out there in your sheer white nightgown, deep in meditation. Just like a ghost, he catches himself thinking and his heart aches but doesn’t want to pay attention to the feeling.

Your frail shape stops in the front of the roses you love so much and you drop in the grass, not feeling the chill, staring at everything without seeing. The Joker sneaks outside, aware you are probably freezing and drags you back in, while you silently follow his steps.

Once you’re in bed under the covers, he’s trying to get you warm and for the first time he’s not telling you to shut up when you speak up about things you really want to get off your chest. All your dying wishes, the most personal and intimate emotions meant only for his ears are whispered in a soft, low voice. You keep on going, relived you got such a heavy burden off your shoulders.

“I left you everything. After I die, all the funds from my estate will go into that account that belongs to the mysterious Jack Green we both know,” you caress his face and he grinds his teeth in denial.

“I don’t want your money…”

You disregard the words.

“It will come from Mrs. Emily Green, you know how much I always loved this identity. So when you see the wire transfer with that name, it will be from me. I already made the arrangements, I’m not changing my will; it’s signed. I can’t take the money with me, might as well give it to someone I care about. Keep this house and use it, yes? I really love it, nobody will bother you here, it’s a very good hideout. And try not to get yourself killed, ok? You’re so impulsive…”

“You’re more impulsive than me!” J sneers because for the first time in his life he’s at a lack of words.

“Used to be. I didn’t do anything crazy in so long it actually makes me the mellow one. Go figure!” you joke, not even sad for the moment being. It’s just so natural to let it all out.

“I really don’t want your money nor the house…I’m not gonna let you die, so there’s no need for any of this, Doll,” your boyfriend studies your reactions, intrigued.

“That’s nice… it almost sounds like you love me or something,” you tease, cozy on the fluffy pillows.

“I doubt it,” he furrows his invisible eyebrows, uneasy.

“Tell you what, baby: after I die, if you miss me so much it hurts it means that you loved me; if not, you should be fine,” the simple explanation is fast to follow and the abrupt reply makes you whimper:

“It already hurts…”

“Well,” you manage to stay strong and not burst into tears,” now that we both found out the answer to this crucial problem, I think we can rest, hm?”

“I’m so tired…” is the only thing he says before electing to inform you: “I have a meeting with him again tomorrow night.”

“NO!!!” you jump up, shaking J to show your disapproval. “NO!! Don’t go!! Stop meeting him! Stop going! It will be an ambush or something, you’ll get captured and locked away and I will die alone! …I-I can’t die alone!!!” you scream, alarmed.

“We are meeting on neutral ground, he won’t try anything. Never did before. And Princess, I’ve set forces in motion you can’t even imagine,” he tries to calm you down while you shake with anxiety. ”I know he might have something for you that I can’t get my hands on. This time, he’s the one that requested the meeting so I think he’s going to use that as leverage to negotiate some kind of terms about his precious Gotham and all the poor souls he has the audacity to believe he protects.”

“No, no way! He’s bluffing, he has nothing for me! Don’t go! Please! He just wants to catch you and take you away and I… just can’t die alone…” you nervously bite on your nails, hopelessly trying to make him change his mind.

“Kitten, you know I don’t leave anything to chance. I’m going and you can’t stop me!!”

“No, please don’t go!” you keep on imploring, scared for this new plan he seems very decided to carry on. “What if it’s a trap? I can’t afford to lose you, I can’t…I just can’t die alone…please?”

“There’s no trap, and even if it were, I’m prepared. Don’t worry, I got it all covered. When do I ever put myself in danger for no reason?”

“Like…all the time!” you gulp, scratching your arm in denial. “Don’t go…”

J signals you to place your head on his chest and you comply, being so worked up you’re wheezing; it’s so difficult to breathe and this doesn’t help.

“Don’t stress out, Pumpkin…I won’t let you die!” The Joker reinforces his declaration, wishing you would unwind and go back to sleep.

*****************

He’s been gone all morning and you have no idea where he went; no answer to your texts or calls, probably getting ready for tonight. You hear the sliding glass door and turn towards the patio, guessing it’s him. You take a few steps and freeze, confused: he walks inside holding a girl’s hand. She is very pretty, well dressed and seems nervous.

“Who is this?!” you narrow your eyes, baffled.

“This Doll, is my future girlfriend. After you die, she’ll take your place. Wanna look around, honey?” he winks at the girl and you resentfully gasp. “All this will be yours after Y/N is gone from the picture. Lovely home, you’ll enjoy it,” he gropes her and you crack your neck, walking towards them with a menacing demeanor.

“Get her out of my fucking house!!” you mutter through your clenched teeth, grinding your jaw so hard it’s painful.

She tries to escape J’s hold but he keeps her near:

“Don’t move!” he commands, pissed when she whines:

“Mister J, I don’t want to be here…Please let me go…”

You are getting closer.

“Get out or I’ll break your neck! I might be weak but I can still do it! GET OUT!!!” you shout at the woman and J tightens his grip on her.

“Don’t move!” he warns and as she struggles to escape. “My current girl here,” the Prince of Crime nods his head towards you,” has it ALL figured out for me: she plans to die and I’m supposed to get a new girlfriend, have kids and leave happily ever after. I’ll even inherit her fortune, which is substantial, I assure you,” he turns his icy glaze towards you and you almost can’t hear: your heart is beating so fast and loud it’s deafening.

“Get out or I swear I’m going to kill you!!!” your voice alerts in such a threatening way she finally uses all her strength to yank her hand away from his and backs out, taking advantage of the fact that you stopped in front of J as the perfect moment to escape the house.

“What the hell are you doing???” you yell at him on a verge of a nervous breakdown; this is the last thing that you need.

He smiles in such an eerie way and has the nerve to pretend it’s the most normal question when it comes out of his mouth:

“Are you jealous?”

“Wha’……????” you are taken aback, not understanding what’s going on. “What is the meaning of all this ??”

“ARE. YOU. JEALOUS?” J pronounces each word in a strange manner and you can tell he’s mad. And so are you.

“Yes, I’m jealous!” you blur out, wanting to slap him so badly. “What games are you playing??!! What’s wrong with you?!”

“You know why you’re jealous?” he continues, disregarding your justified tirade.

“???!!”

What’s going on? you think, completely out of it.

“Let me enlighten you, Princess,” he grumbles, annoyed. “You are jealous because you’re still alive, do you even understand what it means anymore? Stop making plans for me, stop talking about dying and give me a break! I’m sick of listening to all of it! You’re still here!” and him charging at you and kissing you passionately like he didn’t see you in years takes you by surprise. You respond to the kiss, unable to hear your own thoughts or react in any other way.

“Did you feel that?” he breaths on your lips and you moan a faint yes. “Great! It means that you’re alive!” he pushes you away, annoyed and heads over to exit the backyard, not before kicking a few bottles with your meds on the floor.

“Who’s that girl?” you raise your voice and he is already out, barely bothering to satisfy your curiosity:

“How the hell should I know?! Just a dancer at the club!”

You have no clue about what got into him, but you stood there petrified for a good 30 minutes.

*******************

11:30pm- neutral ground located behind the abandoned highway 205

“Finally! You’re 6 minutes late!” J jumps off the hood of his purple Lamborghini when he notices Batman emerging from the shadows. “Do you have it?” he stretches, pretending to be indifferent but in fact very alert.

“I do,” the distorted voice lets him know as his nemesis stops at a safe distance, only a few feet away.

“Does it work?” The Joker wants to know right away.

“It does. And I’m the only one that has access to it. Experiments showed amazing results, not certain if it will ever reach the medical market. If it does, it will be at least 5 more years,” Bruce Wayne explains as fast as he can.

“My girl doesn’t have 5 years!” he barks, straitening his back. “I assume you wanted to meet because you want to bargain? What do you want in exchange?”

His silver teeth glisten under the flickering neon light, the shaved head giving him even a more psychotic aura.

“Every month you stay put and don’t cause trouble, you get a month worth of the medication. Plain and simple,” Batman replies.

A vague cackle, then a louder laugher followed by full blown temperamental outpouring of lunacy:

“Awww, such a good deal!” The Joker claps his hands, faking his happiness. “But I have even a better proposal !” his blue eyes get big with anticipation. “I’ve been reeeeeally busy in the last 2 months; let’s say Gotham may or may not be under an imminent attack. Certain people may or may not have placed explosives all over the place: residential homes, bridges, schools, hospitals, anything you can think of. You will never be able to find all of them!! Something happens and I don’t get the med, it all goes to shit ! Would you prefer your precious city goes down in the same time or piece by piece?” he snickers with an evil grimace.

“Don’t push it !” Bruce Wayne snaps, tossing a vial containing your much needed remedy towards his adversary and J catches it mid air, placing it in his pocket.

“Don’t make me!!!” he growls, retreating back into his car and driving away into the night while The Batman debates if The King of Gotham is bluffing or not. Knowing him, probably not.

******************

“Go tell your mom she’s needed for important paperwork in the master bedroom after you fall asleep tonight, OK?” J urges his 4 year old son to go outside in the garden where you sit on a blanket under the tree, reading.

Kaden runs over, stumbling with anticipation, eager to give you the news:

“Moooommm!!!!” he screams up a storm and lands in your lap, excited: “Dad said you have paperwork tonight!”

You and The Joker love to use him as a messenger; he’s absolutely adorable and even if the poor kid doesn’t remember everything he’s supposed to say when he runs from one parent to the other, it’s still awesome and it makes your day.

“Go tell Daddy that’s fine,” you smile, kissing his cheek and he gets up, rushing inside to communicate the update:

“Daaaaddd!!!!!” he almost staggers and falls on the carpet, “Mommy said OK!!!”

“Goody!! Hey, com’ere!” J signals him and Kaden giggles, jumping up and down until he gets picked up and sat on the table. “Now go ask your mom if she wants another baby, don’t let me down, alright?” The Joker puckers his lips, winking at the little boy. He reaches for the nearby drawer, takes out a piece of paper and scribbles on it, then hands it over to his son. “Give her this too, ok? Us, guys, have to help each other, hm?”

“Yes, dad!” the little boy passes his fingers through his father’s green hair, enthusiastic he has such an important task.

Once he is put back on the ground, Kaden races over to you:

“Daddy wanted to know if you want another baby,” he sniffles, covering his mouth with his small hands.

You roll your eyes and look down at your 4 month pregnant bump, mumbling:

“Soooo funny… Anyway, mommy’s too old so after your brother is born, that’s it.”

Your son snickers and pulls on your hair that now reaches down to your shoulders, making you pay attention to the paper he’s giving you.

“From daddy,” he explains and you take it, unfolding the note. You gasp when you realize it’s your old Bucket List, now having a “check mark” symbol by “- a family” wish. You take a deep breath, looking towards the house to see if J is in sight but you don’t notice him. You get teary and fold back the paper, hiding it between the pages of your book. The Joker is actually behind the curtain, sipping on his whiskey, savoring your reaction.

“Go tell daddy I already have 3 kids, so we’re good,” you whisper in Kaden’s ear and he darts inside, yelling:

“Daaaaad, she said she already has 3 kids!!!”

“What??!! 3 kids?!” he frowns, aggravated. “That’s rude! Tell her she’s rude!” The messenger runs for it.

“Daddy said you’re rude,” the little one pants, snorting when you start laughing.

“Whatever,” you make him sit down, struggling to keep him still in your lap so you can apply the purple hair mascara on a few strands of his hair. J goes crazy for it so you try to do it daily since it’s being washed at night. “Go show your dad how cute you are! And tell him he’s my favorite poison. Give me a kiss before you go!”

“Muahhh,” he pecks your lips and flees. After a few moments J shouts:

“Hey Doll, is that a pickup line?!”

“Yeesss!!!!” you yell back so he can hear you.

“That’s a good one!”

“I know!!!!!”

You read for 5 more minutes when they both come out: Kaden is holding a bottle of water and you know what it means: time to take your med.

“Here Princess,” The Joker opens the vial, giving you one tablet. “It’s that magical time of the day.”

You swallow the pill and he crawls on the blanket, resting his head on your tummy. Your son is playing around with his toys, preoccupied with a butterfly that landed on his bike.

“I thought the magical time of the day is going to be tonight when we have to fill out all that tedious paperwork in the master bedroom,” you elbow him and he purrs.

“Certainly; so much paperwork, that’s why I need your help,” he softly bites your wrist and you pinch his arm. “Hey, Y/N, besides being sexy and pregnant, what do you do for a living?” he turns on his side, facing you. “Wow, are you blushing?!”

“No way, hot flushes from my treatment,” the defensive answer comes.

“Lies, lies, lies,” J bickers, kissing the bump.

“You have the worse pickup lines,” you shake your head, teasing him.

“Got you pregnant twice, didn’t I ? So if you have a complaint, you should file one tonight with the rest of the paperwork,” the smug reply follows.

You stare at each other for a few seconds before smiling:

“Shut up, J,” you kick him with your knee and go back to reading while he closes his eyes, relaxing in the shadow.

Definitely her knight in shining armor, The Joker thinks before snoozing. No other losers in line for the job…which…makes me the loser, I suppose. Oh, well, could be worse, he reckons, snuggling by you even more.