#He's the one I want to drown in happiness

[pastryfication]

I love ur fics ❤️ can you do an Oscar x reader fic where she can’t find Oscar in the paddock and is panicking and goes to lando for help x

i'm here but i'm lost in crowd

pairing: oscar piastri x reader note: you guys seem to really love platonic lando lol so here's another one <3 also i’m sorry i somehow misread your request to reader getting lost and not losing oscar…

the united states grands prix were by far the most chaotic races of the season. normally, you didn’t prioritise them—the time-zones messed with your sleep schedule, the amount of spectators became overwhelming, and oscar had so many media duties that he barely had time for you, so why spend precious days off when you could use them on less crowded grands prix?—but you had time off either way, so on a 20 hour flight to the other side of the world you were.

you tried to stay close to kim as you arrived at the paddock. he was the person on oscar’s team who you knew and trusted the most, and he was more than happy to let you tag along to his duties, but eventually, he had to go to a meeting, and then you had to find somewhere else to go.

at first, you decided to stay in the hospitality area, too afraid of getting lost to wander about, but it quickly started to bore you. there were no familiar faces, and you grew tired of sitting alone in a corner.

walking outside the mclaren building, you were immediately met with the rush of people walking around you. the air was full of excitement and anticipation—the usual on a race weekend—and you couldn’t help but smile. this was why you wanted to come to as many races as possible; you absolutely loved the atmosphere.

smiling, you walked through the paddock, waving to fans when they noticed you, stopping briefly to say hi to engineers and other mclaren personnel as you passed them, and before you knew it, you found yourself in a completely unfamiliar place.

you looked around, realising just how disoriented you were. the hum of the paddock, which had initially filled you with excitement, now felt like an overwhelming blur. faces passed by too quickly to register, people walking around everywhere and your heart started to race as the nagging feeling grew—where were you?

the crowds seemed to move faster now, making you feel even more isolated. the rush of people, the sounds of chatter and excitement, the bright texas sun bearing down—it all added to the growing panic in your chest. you tried to retrace your steps in your mind, thinking back to how you'd ended up here, but the more you thought about it, the more it seemed like you’d wandered too far. you could feel your throat tightening as you scanned the sea of unfamiliar faces. why hadn’t you just stayed in the mclaren hospitality?

you reached for your phone, intending to send an SOS to someone from the team, but your pockets were empty. had you really been stupid enough to forget your phone?

as the realisation that you really were alone settled in your body, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. you could do this. you’d been to enough races by now to find your way back, right?

but no matter how much you told yourself that, the panic only grew. what if you walked the wrong way and ended up even further from where you were supposed to be? what if you bumped into the wrong crowd and caused a scene? the paddock suddenly felt more intimidating than exciting, the noise drowning out your thoughts, leaving you frozen in place.

just as you felt yourself spiraling, a voice broke through the chaos.

“hey!” a voice called out your name. “what are you doing out here alone?"

you spun around so fast that you nearly stumbled, heart pounding in your chest as your eyes landed on the familiar face of lando norris. relief flooded through you so intensely that for a second, you couldn’t even form words. lando was standing just a few feet away, his helmet under one arm, a slightly confused but amused look on his face. he took a step closer, raising an eyebrow as he glanced around.

“pretty far from mclaren territory, aren’t you?” he teased, though his tone was light, and there was a softness in his eyes when he looked back at you.

you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “i don’t even know how it happened. i was fine, just walking around, and then all of a sudden, nothing looked familiar anymore. and now i just—” you trailed off, feeling a little ridiculous for admitting how overwhelmed you were.

lando’s expression softened when he noticed the genuine worry in your eyes. “hey, it’s alright,” he said, his voice gentle now. “it happens to the best of us. this place can be a maze if you’re not paying attention. if i had a dollar for every time someone got lost in this paddock, i’d have��� well, probably enough to buy a few extra helmets.” he smiled when you laughed at his words, glancing around, as if to get his bearings, before his eyes landed back on you. “come on, i’ll walk you back before oscar starts a search party.”

you let out a breath of relief, feeling the tension in your chest loosen just a little. “thanks, lando.”

“don’t mention it,” he replied with a wink. “besides, it’s not every day i get to play the hero.”

you rolled your eyes shaking your head slightly, and as you continued walking through the paddock, the surroundings began to look more familiar. with lando’s easy-going presence beside you, the fear that had gripped you earlier seemed almost ridiculous now.

“you know,” he said after a few moments of walking in companionable silence, “i think oscar might owe me for this one. saving his girlfriend from the wild paddock? that’s gotta be worth at least a couple free dinners, right?”

you couldn’t help but laugh, the sound of it surprising even yourself. “i’ll make sure he knows just how heroic you’ve been today.”

lando smirked, glancing sideways at you. “good. i expect a full report.” there was a moment of silence before he continued. “honestly, though,” lando continued, glancing at you, “if you miss someone to hang out with, you should just stick with me more often. i’ll make sure you never get lost again.

“thank you, lan.” you smiled earnestly up at him.

as you neared the mclaren building, the bustling crowd became more familiar, and the sight of papaya clad engineers and personnel milling around instantly brought a sense of comfort. you exhaled, feeling the last remnants of anxiety melt away.

“here we are,” lando announced grandly, gesturing toward the motorhome. “safe and sound, thanks to your friendly neighborhood norris.”

you shook your head, a laugh escaping you. “i really appreciate it, lando. seriously.”

“anytime,” he replied, grinning widely. “i’ll always be happy to help.”

[mysindividual]

(Unknowingly), his unspoken wish | Aaron Hotchner

*can be read as a standalone but is a bonus scene for the Unknowingly series in honour of celebrating Aaron’s birthday🥹

MASTERLIST

pairing: Aaron Hotchner x bau!reader

summary: your boss is drowning in paperwork when you burst in with a birthday cake and a cheerful serenade, determined to rescue him from his serious face. Your playful spirit turns the mundane into a mini-party and the weight of his responsibilities fades. In that small, cozy space, laughter and connection blossom, transforming an ordinary night into a memorable celebration filled with joy and unspoken wishes. Who knew paperwork could come with cake and a side of chaos?

warnings: boss x subordinate, mutual pining, some fluff and flirting, of course

Aaron Hotchner sat alone in his dimly lit office, the clock ticking softly in the background, marking the late hours of the night. The weight of paperwork loomed over him like an unwelcome cloud, his loose white shirt hanging comfortably around his neck, the collar slightly askew. His tie lay abandoned on the desk, and the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up to his elbows, revealing forearms that hinted at both strength and exhaustion. The flickering light from the desk lamp cast soft shadows across his focused expression as he scribbled notes on a report.

You peered through the slightly ajar door, a smile breaking across your face at the sight of him buried in work. It was a familiar scene—one you had come to appreciate. There was something about seeing him so immersed in his tasks, yet so human in his dishevelled attire, that made your heart flutter. The way he concentrated, the faint lines of stress etched on his brow, made you want to lighten his burden.

You pushed the door open wider, stepping inside with a piece of cake held delicately in your hands, a single candle flickering atop it like a beacon of cheer. Taking a deep breath, you began to sing, “Happy birthday to you…” Your voice echoed softly against the walls, a playful melody breaking the stillness.

Aaron’s head snapped up, confusion flashing across his face for a split second before it transformed into a genuine but tired smile, softening the stern lines of his jaw. He looked at the unexpected sight before him, momentarily caught off guard by your vibrant presence. Weaving your way around the desk and towards him, Aaron turned his chair to face you fully, his brow furrowing in surprise before softening with gratitude. “How did you know?” he asked, the weight of his day momentarily lifting.

“Do you really think you can keep secrets from me?” You set the cake down with a flourish, leaning against the desk, your playful demeanor a breath of fresh air in the still office. “I have my sources,” you replied, your voice teasing and light. “Every birthday deserves a little celebration, don’t you think?” You winked at him, your smile infectious.

He chuckled softly, shaking his head, clearly both flattered and amused. “I usually keep my birthday under wraps to avoid… this,” he said, gesturing towards the cake, a hint of bemusement lacing his tone. “I prefer to keep it low-key. Too many people would make a big deal out of it.”

“Good thing I’m not ‘too many people’,” you shot back, raising an eyebrow as you grinned down at him. “Just the right amount of fun for the birthday boss.”

As your gaze locked, the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you. The flickering candlelight danced between you, casting a warm glow that highlighted the softness in his eyes. “You’re full of surprises,” he said, his voice low and almost reverent, as if acknowledging something sacred.

“Aren’t birthdays meant for surprises?” you replied, your brows lifting in playful challenge. The candlelight danced in your cheerful eyes, enhancing the intimacy of the moment. “Now, close your eyes, make a wish, and blow out the candle,” you urged, clasping your hands beneath your chin, your heart racing in anticipation.

Aaron sighed, knowing you wouldn’t let go until he did it, knowing too well he couldn’t resist your charm. So he closed his eyes, focusing on the flame that flickered before him. In that stillness, his thoughts turned inwards, settling on a wish that felt profound—a desire that had stirred in his heart for longer than he dared to acknowledge. The truth settled in his heart: you were the source of his joy, the light that pierced the shadows of his long hours.

When he opened his eyes again, he found you watching him intently, a playful smile dancing on your lips. “Well? What did you wish for?” you teased, leaning closer, your curiosity brightening the room.

He smirked, the playful banter returning, but he felt the weight of his unshared truth. “That’s for me to know and you to find out,” he replied, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “After all, you have your sources.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, pulling plastic forks from your suit’s pocket and offering one to him. As you both shared a slice of cake, Aaron looked up at you, his expression softening. You were perched on the edge of his desk, a playful sparkle dancing in your eyes as you dove into the cake, savoring each bite. But as he glanced back at the clock, a question nagged at him. Why were you really here, choosing him over the festivities? He couldn’t shake the thought. While others were out enjoying the night, you had willingly stepped into the dim light of his office, sharing a slice of cake and laughter instead.

“Shouldn’t you be out with the team, enjoying your night off?” he asked, a hint of curiosity threading through his tone. His gaze flicked to the clock on the wall, the seconds ticking away, a reminder of the lively night happening elsewhere.

“Because,” you replied, leaning in closer, your voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, “I’d much rather celebrate with you than be in a crowded bar where no one knows how to appreciate a good cake.”

A teasing smile crept across your lips, surveying the neatly organized office as if contemplating a grand scheme. “I could say I was worried about you, but honestly?” You paused for effect, cocking your head to the side with a playful smirk. “I couldn’t resist the chance to bring a little chaos and cake to your perfectly organized life.”

Hotch leaned back in his chair, a satisfied grin creeping across his face as he watched you. It was rare for him to let his guard down in the office, but here you were, radiating a lightness that cut through the heaviness of his responsibilities like a beam of sunshine. You were animated, lost in the joy of the moment, and it reminded him of how much he valued your presence—your ability to infuse laughter and warmth into the often-grim world of the Bureau.

You didn’t just bring chaos; you brought something deeper—a sense of connection, a reminder that even in the seriousness of his job, he wasn’t alone. He appreciated how you lightened his burdens, even if just for a brief reprieve. The laughter and shared cake were small acts, but they brought a brightness that pierced through the usual shadows of his responsibilities.

In that fleeting moment, he felt a swell of gratitude that you had chosen to stay, even if it was just to share a slice of cake. He felt a flicker of hope. Maybe this wasn’t just about the cake; maybe it was about you choosing him.

“Did you wish for another piece of cake?” you teased, breaking the comfortable silence, a mischievous sparkle in your eyes revealing your hidden intentions as you enjoyed your bite.

“No, but I should have,” he replied, a hint of playfulness in his tone as the corners of his lips lifted slightly. “What I wished for might be a little more… complicated.”

“Oh? Now you have to tell me, or I can’t help,” you insisted, leaning closer, your voice dropping conspiratorially. “I have my sources. Was it something about the case? A promotion? Or maybe that I’d bring you cake every year?”

He raised an eyebrow, maintaining a teasingly serious expression. “Let’s just say it was a wish for happiness.” His gaze lingered on yours, and in that moment, a soft connection sparked between you—an unspoken understanding that hung in the air, almost tangible.

You felt warmth blossom within you, the moment stretching as you shared that knowing smile, nodding. “Well, then, I think we have to make that wish come true. Starting with more cake,” you declared, laughter bubbling up as you reached for a fork, your enthusiasm infectious.

The night was far from over, and in that small office, surrounded by scattered papers and the gentle ticking of seconds on the clock, something unspoken began to bloom—a shared wish, yet unvoiced, hanging delicately between you.

As you both indulged in the cake, the storm of paperwork faded into the background, replaced by an easy warmth that enveloped the room. The simple act of celebrating—a birthday, a connection—infused the atmosphere with a sweetness that even the weightiest cases could not overshadow. Each bite of cake felt like a small victory, a reminder that joy could be found in the midst of chaos.

[katiascraft]

“I need to confess. I told you a lie. I said you were the love of my life.” | LN4

part 2 of this.

Parings: Lando Norris x Ex!Bisexual!Reader.

Summary: after leaving Lando, you realized what real love was like. Unfortunately, he didn’t and all he could think about every time he looks at his new parter is you.

Now playing: “L’AMOUR DE MA VIE” by Billie Eilish.

Word count: +2k.

Warnings: angst (?) insults (?) cursed words. Not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.

Author’s note: maybe this sucks. well I don’t know but I just came to this idea for a part 2 no one asked of this but yeah. Reader deserved a happy ending ❤️‍🩹 Don’t forget to like, comment or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

MASTERLIST

It’s been 10 months since the worst day of your life. The day you had enough of the place that you weren’t enough for. The place who made you so miserable and insecure. The place that broke you in so many pieces it turned you to dust. The place where you never want to go back to.

It’s been the hardest 10 months of your life. Mourning the life you thought you would have forever was the worst process you got yourself through. How you had to not only get over your ex, Lando, but also the you that wasn’t gonna be you anymore for the rest of your life. And that was the hardest past. Let go of who you were when he was in your life and let go of all the memories. It was like learning to be a functioning human being again. And you also thought you couldn’t bear with being single. You felt so ashamed of not remembering how to approach people or even how to feel attractive yourself. You were nothing after that day.

For your family and friends was heartbreaking too. Not only because they had to mourn lando that now was out of your life so then their lives as well, but also the you they knew before and during the relationship. And now learning to know this new you.

It was hard for the first 3 months but thanks to your friends and intense therapy sessions you eventually got better. You started discovering a part of yourself you didn’t know existed. Leaving lando changed you not 180 degrees but 360. You changed your style, your hair, your humor, your attitude. You spoke up. Had a strong opinion. You started being more selective with people and for a long time you remained single. you worked on you. Trying to give yourself back everything that relationship took away. You made new friends and moved to New York to start a new life. In that city you found you loved music and storytelling so you started a musical career on YouTube and became kind of famous. You also went to university. And now you’re a content creator, you upload vlogs of your everyday life and opinions. You love fashion like crazy and post your outfits on Instagram and TikTok along with your music. And you are back into being happy. Not only with your life but with yourself. You love who you are and what you do for a living. There’s no one you have to follow or leave everything behind. You live now in your own world where you are the thing that matters the most. You feel so grateful you made it through.

But you were also madly loved for who you are. Tania was your new girlfriend. You didn’t even know you liked girls as well. You tried with guys but none of them felt right for you until you met Tania in a little music shop two blocks away from your apartment. It was the most romantic way of meeting someone you believed. You two went to the same shop to buy the same album and oh coincidence of life there was only one copy of it. And that’s how you met. She gave it to you and so you offered her to come to your place and listen to it together. Yeah you offered that to a stranger but she looked so beautiful. You felt something so weird you haven’t ever felt before in your life. His blonde hair so shiny and his brown eyes so deep you could drown in them with no problem. She was gorgeous.

In fact, you never felt so seen until you met her. The way she actually listened to what you had to say. The way he understood your insecurities and tried to help you and figure it out together. The way you could laugh for hours non-stop until you went dry from crying of laughter. When you felt how you felt with her you knew Lando didn’t matter at all. He never loved you for who you were. He never appreciated all of the sacrifices you did for him just because you thought you loved him your entire life. The way you listened and supported him anywhere, anyhow, whenever. You gave everything for him, but what about you? He never noticed you. He never saw you. He never cared about you.

Realizing that hurt at first but then you understood it was the wrong person at the wrong time. Because if you hadn’t been through what he put you through then this wouldn’t be your life and you wouldn’t be this loved.

But you know what they say, life’s a bitch so here you were again in Monaco for Alexandra’s birthday. It was gonna be a huge event in a yacht for all of her friends. So of course you knew lando was coming and you also knew because of Alex he had a new girlfriend as well. You weren’t intimidated by him but you felt a little insecure you know. You felt rather uncomfortable. But Alex was your friend and she was so nice she invited Tania as well and few of your hometown friends so you wouldn’t feel left apart. Alex knew you so well. You always have struggled with fitting in. She was really sweet. But at the same time you were also so excited to see the guys again. You talked to Pierre and kika. They were so excited to see you. You missed them all of course you did. Moving countries and having an ex who drives along them made things ticky. It was complicated to meet and hang around outside weekend races during the year and of course you wouldn’t assist knowing lando was there. You didn’t want to see him. So tonight is fireproof. If you see him again and survive then the paddock should get ready to see you every now and then with you gorgeous girl.

She knew about Lando of course. And she was the most supportive angel to you. Of course she also hated him. And probably could kill him if you let her. But she won’t just because you asked her.

you were going by taxi. You didn’t have your car because you were on the other side of the world and you wouldn’t waste money renting one just to go to a party in a yacht. You didn’t care about appearances anymore. You got to the harbor just in time. Most of the invited guests were already there. You got there with Tania in your hand and your group of friends. You looked around seeing so many familiar faces and the first one to run to you and hug you tightly was Kika followed by Pierre. You giggled on her shoulder hugging her as well.

“Oh my god girl you look fucking beautiful what the fuck I missed you so much” she said on your shoulder so excited to see you. It flattered your heart.

“I missed you too, my love” you said sweetly. And when you pulled apart you hugged Pierre and introduced Tania to them. They were always so warm. You really missed them. A few minutes passed and you were talking along with a lot of the formula 1 drivers and their partners just like the old days. You felt so part of it. And so loved. And all of them were so nice to Tania. She was so excited that she met Max and he posed for a picture with her that it melted your heart completely. You didn’t see lando by the way. He hasn't arrived yet. But Carlos didn’t either so probably they were coming together. After 15 minutes, the birthday girl finally arrived with her prince in hand and all of the guests were there. The yacht was ready as well. Lando was there with her. You knew her of course you did. She was friends with Max and Kelly. Of course you remember her. Lando is so predictable. You wanted to laugh in his face but you didn’t. You didn’t even say hi. You didn’t want to and you guess he didn’t either because he barely looks at you when he arrived.

(…)

The party was formidable and you were already drunk laughing and posing. Kika was trying to take a couple of pictures of you and Tania and the sunset behind you. It was a beautiful picture.

“Oh my god you’re so beautiful” she said finally ending the photo shoot so she showed you the pictures.

It felt so satisfying being back and not giving a fuck about Lando. All of the guys were so welcoming and sweet like they always had been with you.

Tania had to go to the bathroom. “You want me to go with you titi?” You called her by her nickname you created. She smiled and gave you a kiss on your lips.

“I’m okay baby. I’ll be right back” she said and after giving you one last kiss she disappeared through all of the people around heading to the bathroom. You stayed with your group of friends dancing around and having fun. Alex was there two sharing with all of us. You loved that woman. She was one of your closest friends who was there with you to hold you and listen. She knew what it was like. But she is loved unlike you weren’t. You were enjoying yourself until you heard someone clearing their throat like exaggerated. You turned to find lando clearly drunk looking at you with puppy eyes yet so dark. You of course didn’t like to see him.

“Y/n we need to talk” he said almost in a whisper so no one could hear him but you. Inside you felt disgusted. His voice was once your favorite sound, one that could send chills down your spine. Now it kinda repulses you.

“No, we don't need Lando. Just pretend I don’t exist” you said clearly upset by his behavior.

“But I can’t y/n. I couldn't stop looking at you since I arrived. I can’t get you out of my head. I tried. But I don’t know what else to do!” He was clearly drunk. And you were unbothered to be honest. You noticed Carlos and Oscar heard him and looked at you. You just rolled your eyes at lando.

“Then it’s not my fucking problem lando. You had me but you couldn’t give a damn about me. Sorry it's too late. I’m happy now and I am loved” you spitted about to turn when he grabbed your arm for you not to go.

“You said I was the love of your life. What happened to that? I know you’re the love of my life. Please, y/n” he said kind of desperately. You looked at him with a poker face. You felt nothing at all. And yes you were surprised but also so proud. Lando Norris meant nothing at all finally. He couldn’t move you. He didn’t have power over you anymore. You won.

“Well then I need to confess I lied. You weren’t the love of my life Lando. You were the motherfucker of my life. You fucking destroyed me. So stop with all of this bullshit” you said Angry. You were saying the truth without being afraid of it. You didn’t care anymore. Now your life is yours and he had no power over it. And you’re fucking happy. You just needed to make sure he knew it. And watch him suffer. And you could see something broke inside of him when he heard you saying that. Fortunately Tania came back from the bathroom just in time.

“Y/n, babe, is everything alright?” She asked, watching lando a little confused but controlling her desires to kill him right there.

You smiled at her. “Yeah beba all good now that you are here” you said, grabbing her by her waist and kissing her gently. She grabbed your face a little surprised at first. But she couldn’t say no to your lips. She was addicted. you didn’t care lando was there. You just kissed and turned to your group of friends ignoring that he was the guy you loved just like he did when he was with you.

[sturnina]

Please. — c.s.

― tags;; angst with a sprinkle of fluff, aftermath of an argument, happy ending

― wc;; 901

― author's note;; feel free to take inspo, just tag me if you do and don't copy the entire thing + english is not my first language, so i apologise for mistakes <3

Chris Sturniolo doesn’t beg. Ever. For one, it’s not necessary; he can get what he wants without having to plead and implore for it. And he thinks it’s degrading, to show weakness through words that, in the end, don’t mean more than should he simply ask for something.

That is, until he finds himself outside of your front door on a Tuesday night, in pouring rain, a pathetic bouquet of flowers drooping in his hand. He’s holding onto it like it might pull him out of this situation, like it’s the last thing preventing him from breaking down right now, right here, on the porch of the house where the love of his life lives.

His thoughts are running wild, circling around the same moment again and again, and he wonders was this a bad idea? Is it too early? Should he come back later? Are you going to let him in; are you even going to look at him?

And then, in one swift motion, he does it, he rings your doorbell. He wishes he could say he nonchalantly leaned against the wall, holding the flowers like a gentleman, smiling at you, when you opened the door, but the truth is, he’s stiffly standing in the middle of the porch, now both of his hands clasping around the bouquet. The second he hears the doorbell inside of the house, he regrets it, and wants to turn around, to run back home. Matt and Nick don’t even know where he is, he should just…

You open the door.

Despite the reserved expression on your face, his shoulders slump with relief. You look him up and down, seeing the drooping flowers, the rain dripping off his jacket and hair, his pitiful expression.

“…Hey,” he finally croaks out.

Sighing, you cross your arms. The door isn’t fully open as if you were ready to close it any second.

“What do you want?”

Chris straightens his back and holds his flowers up. “To apologise,” he says a little timidly.

You arch an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. He clears his throat and lowers his hands again as it doesn’t seem like you’re going to take the flowers just yet.

“I was stupid. I am stupid. I should’ve known how much it meant to you. How badly I hurt you, I mean. I didn’t… I wasn’t thinking. I was busy with filming, I was tired, and exhausted, and…”

He sees your stern expression that seems to get colder with every word of his explanation, and quickly clears his throat.

“And that is not the point. The point is, I’m so sorry for forgetting about our anniversary date.”

“You didn’t just ‘forget’ about it, you ignored me the entire day! I tried calling you how many times, seven? I was worried!” you say, another wave of emotion bubbling up in your chest.

Chris internally flinches at your words, but he knows it’s all true. “I know,” he said, trying to keep his voice from trembling. “I know, I’m an asshole, I worried you without reason, I hurt you, but can I come in? We can- I don’t know, we can watch a movie, order pizza- or sushi, I don’t care…” He holds out the flowers again, a helpless, pathetic gesture.

You take a deep breath and shake your head. “I’m tired, Chris,” you mutter. “I’ve been up all day, and I spent half of it worrying about or being mad at you.”

“For a reason,” he quickly adds, “I just think-”

“Chris.”

He stops and just looks at you.

“Not today.” You go to close the door, but he is quick to stick his foot in between the frame and the door.

“Please.” He sounds so pathetic, so weak, and you know you shouldn’t give in, you want to let him drown in his guilt just for a few more hours.

“Please, we don’t have to talk. I just want to cuddle, we don’t need to watch anything, just please let me in, let me try to make it better…”

He holds up the flowers a third time, and you can’t resist anymore. Hesitantly, you take the bouquet out of his hands and let the door handle go. He immediately opens the door wider, scared you’ll close it immediately again. But you don’t, you step aside to let him in.

The relief that washes over him is visible in the way his posture straightens the second he steps over the threshold into the warmth of your house. It is visible in his eyes, in the way he quickly scans your face to evaluate whether you’re still mad — which you are, by the way — and the way he immediately goes to hug you. The movement is clear but slow, giving you a moment to back off. But you don’t, and his arms embrace you. Chris buries his face in your neck and holds you tight, almost scared to let you go again.

“I’ll organise another date,” he promises, “tomorrow. Twice as good as the one we’d planned.”

“Twice?” you ask, your voice slightly muffled through the fabric of his hoodie.

“Three times.”

You can’t help but giggle slightly at that. Because, despite your cold attitude toward him, you missed him, and you’d been missing him the entire time. Still, you know you’re not going to let it be that he ignored you for an entire day.

[sunshinehaze1]

Needed Me

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: You haven't seen Javi in years when you run into him at a local bar, and it doesn't take long to find yourself in bed with him.

Warnings: 18+, MDNI. oral sex (m&f), unprotected PIV, use of “slut” during sexy time, no use of Y/N

a/n: This was written for @baronessvonglitter Birthday/Fuck-tober Challenge. (It’s not “belated”…it’s just that I wanted your birthday celebration to last forrrreeevvvvvveeeerrrrr. 🤭 but really it was mostly because I was in my head, nervous about writing for Javi P. for the first time 🫣) Happy Birthday Adriana!! 🥳 I was given Javi P and the song, Needed Me by Rihanna. Thank you to @80ssong & @half-moon16 for the beta reads. 😘 Also, a big time thank you to @morallyinept for creating these amazing resources that I referenced to help me get “in the zone,” writing for Javi: character database & FWB!Javi P.

word count: 2,900

ao3 | ml

When you open the door, he’s immediately on you. Barreling past the threshold with a desperate need, he doesn’t have time to be polite, unable even to utter a “hello.” The only greeting, his lips and tongue consuming yours in a heated kiss. He smells of whiskey and cigarettes, which you can taste on his tongue as it dances with yours. His large hand cradles your face, and the other finds a home on your waist as he pushes you further into your home. The hunger for you consumes him as he searches the depth of your mouth with his tongue. He attempts to ground himself, tightening his grip on your waist, afraid that if he lets go, he’ll drown in his feelings of unworthiness. He needs to prove he’s worth something, even if it’s just for a good fuck. You both let out a grunt as your bodies slam against the wall, his arm caging you in as he continues his relentless pursuit with his tongue, leaving you breathless. Reluctantly, you push your palms against his firm chest to catch your breath. His lust-filled eyes roam your face, anticipating your next move. With a mischievous smile, you roughly grab his wrist and lead him to your bedroom. It’s only been a few nights since he had you last. Falling into bed with Javi had become a regular occurrence since that first night you ran into each other after his return from Colombia. 

–

Javi stoically observes the other patrons: a group of friends wrapped in a rousing game of darts, a couple at the jukebox debating a song choice, finally settling on a Hank Williams tune, and an older gentleman around Chucho’s age swallowing down the last beer before he’s finally cut off. Javi stares at himself in the mirror behind the bar, contemplating how he found himself here, alone again. 

He’s had a long day. It was a day filled with Javi confronted by his recent past, fielding questions and congratulations about his time in Colombia and his contributions to the takedown of Escobar at his cousin’s wedding. Javi has difficulty accepting the praise; they'd be appalled if they knew of the many blurred lines he crossed in the lead-up to Escobar’s capture. His responses were polite but short. He worked his way out of the uncomfortable conversations quickly and with little detail. Only to be faced with addressing another chapter of his past, his ex-fiance, Lorraine. A reminder of his failure in romantic relationships. Still reeling from the reception, nerves shot, and a need to self-soothe the only way he knows how Javi is back out the door shortly after he and Chucho returned to the house. He didn’t even bother to change. His truck left a trail of dust as it rattled down the gravel driveway on a mission to exorcise his demons.

Javi sits forlornly, nursing a second round of whiskey. The first went down too quickly, and he had to take his time with this one. He can’t keep searching for absolution at the bottom of a glass tumbler. Javi throws his head back, glass tumbler at his lips, savoring the feel of the amber liquid sliding down his throat; his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. When Javi straightens, he watches as the door to the bar swings open in the mirror. He blinks briefly to refocus his eyes to fully take in the sight and ensure the whiskey isn’t playing tricks on him. It had to have been over a decade since Javi saw you last. His work in Colombia took up most of that time. He watches as you make your way to the bar. A sense of relief washes over him that you haven’t recognized him with his back towards you. 

You sit at the opposite end of the bar, huffing an exasperated sigh as you settle in. The bartender greets you to take your order and returns quickly with your drink. Javi quietly observes you, taking in your plush lips as they wrap around the tip of the straw, your cheeks hollow as you take your first sip. When you rest your elbows on the bar, his eyes trail down to the opening of your silk blouse, the top buttons unfastened. He can glimpse your delicate skin at this angle and peek at the lace that edges your bra. You haven’t changed much; if anything, you are more beautiful. Breathtaking, even. 

Javi knows how to read people after all his time in the DEA. It’s evident to him that you’ve also had an exhausting day, and finishing your first drink doesn’t take long. He takes in the smooth line of your neck as you take the last sip and winces when you take your frustration out on the bar top, slamming your empty glass onto the lacquered oak. Javi calls the bartender over and requests to order your next round. Your eyebrows lift in surprise when you find a fresh drink before you, having not ordered another round. With a knowing smirk, the bartender nods in Javi’s direction. You raise your glass towards him and offer a wink to thank him. 

You thought those broad shoulders looked familiar. In your haste to find a seat at the bar, the need for alcohol to quell the stress of your hectic day, you couldn’t take him in fully. You had heard about Javi’s return to Laredo but are still surprised to see him. His elbows rest on the bar, the cuffs of his sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms, as your eyes scan the breadth of his shoulders and chest, confined by the grey and brick-red plaid button-up. The top two buttons released of their duty for the night, and you see a hint of his tan sternum just below the hollow of his neck. You look back up at Javi, and he’s waiting with a smirk, having caught your lingering look. The barstool scrapes across the wood floor, and Javi moves to relocate to the stool next to you. 

“So, Javi, how long’s it been?” you muse as he nears. 

He sits on the stool, one foot on the crossbar with his knee jutted out, facing you. He’s close enough that you feel his warmth through his jeans. You’re distracted by the thought of opening your legs just a few inches so he could slot his leg in between them. The thought sends a rush of heat up your spine. His thumb swipes across his plush bottom lip as it quirks up in a half smile. 

“It’s been at least ten years, hasn’t it?”

“At least,” you agree. “That’s a nice shirt. Why are you so dressed up tonight?”

“My cousin, Danny, got married today. Just got back from the reception and needed something stronger than a Budweiser.” 

With a teasing lilt, you hold his stare and ask, “Awww, was it really that bad?” 

“It was…a lot. It was good to see family, especially my Tia,” he averts his gaze, spinning his glass on the bar top, “but I had to field many questions about Colombia.” 

His eyes were still downcast; you could sense Javi was uncomfortable and quickly tried to change the subject. “That does sound like a lot, but selfishly, I’m glad it brought you here tonight. How long have you been back?”

“About a month. I’ve been helping Pops out on the ranch. It’s been a good distraction. What brought you here tonight?”

“Oh, that’s great. I’m sure Chucho is glad to have you back and appreciates the help.” You sigh before you continue, “I had a date. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks. It was casual, or so I thought. He blindsided me over dinner and said he wanted us to be more. I’m not looking for that right now, so I had to end it.” 

Javi ticks his tongue, cocks his head to the side, and sarcastically huffs, “Poor guy.” 

Javi doesn’t have much sympathy for the guy, not when his idiocy leads you to him. He recalls how you’ve always played it cool, keeping men at a distance, taking what you need, and moving on. You’re not that different than him. Never one to stick around, only searching for the warmth of another body to satisfy an immediate need. Inevitably, the relationships meet their demise when the men come to need you more than you need them. 

“So,” he tries to hide his coying smile behind the rim of his glass, but you don’t miss it. “What are you looking for?”

You swallow down the rest of your drink and set it down on the bartop, gentler this time. “How about you come back to my place and find out.”

–

Javi takes in the intimate space of your bedroom. He notices the cigarette abandoned in your ashtray, slowly burning away. A paperback book lays face down on your bed, holding your place while it awaits your return. The lighting is subdued by the scarf-draped lamp in the corner, and a candle flickers on your nightstand. A mix of sage, citrus, and smoke wafts through the air. It reminds him of the evenings he spent in Gabriela’s small apartment when he was searching for release. He realizes he’s interrupted your quiet evening alone, but with the enthusiastic response he received at your door, he’s pretty sure you don’t mind the change of plans.

You guide Javi towards the bed and unbutton his shirt. Your palms flat on his tight chest as they caress up and over his shoulders, and his shirt falls to the floor. Plush lips pepper soft kisses along his jawline before you trace the tip of your tongue over the skin on his neck and down his chest in a torturous game of connect the dots, saliva linking one mole to the next. Flicking your tongue over his nipple emits a soft groan in response when you nibble on the small nub, sending a jolt of pleasure through his body. Your lips and tongue continue down his stomach until you meet the thick patch above the waist of his painted-on jeans, the coarse hair tickling your lips. You feel the heat radiating from his pronounced bulge, straining the front of his jeans. 

His fingers meet yours as you move to unbutton his jeans, and he shoos them away. You watch, in awe, as his cock springs free when he pulls his jeans down past his hips. You’re not surprised to find he is completely bare underneath. You grip your bottom lip with your teeth as you watch a bead of precum leak from his uncut tip. Not one to let anything go to waste, you flick the tip of your tongue over his slit before the bead drops. Javi releases a groan, and your eyes meet his as you take the head of his cock between your lips. 

With one hand gripping his ass to pull him closer, the other wraps around the base of his cock. You begin to stroke his shaft in time with your mouth. You take him as far as you can until his tip hits the back of your throat. Overwhelmed by the sensation, his hands cup the base of your skull, with his fingers laced through your hair. He gently guides your head back and forth, setting a smooth pace. When he removes his hands, you speed up, saliva dripping out the corners of your mouth as you hum and moan over his length. Javi grunts out a plea for you to stop before he comes down your throat. You release him with a pop and swirl your tongue around the tip as one final tease before you rise from your knees. 

He cradles your jaw with his calloused hands, drawing you nearer to consume you with a bruising kiss. A mix of tangled tongues and nipping teeth elicits a chorus of moans from both of you. With your palms flat on his bare chest, you push him back towards the bed. He collapses and adjusts his body to rest his head on the pillows. You peel away the rest of your clothes slowly while he watches you, stroking his cock as he takes in the delicate curves of your body and soft skin shadowed by the room’s dim lighting. When you’re completely bare, he beckons you towards him. With a leg on each side of his hips, you rub your wet pussy over his length. His eyelids flutter as your arousal coats his shaft. He grabs your hips and, with an impatient gruff, “I need to taste you. Come up here and sit on my face.”

Eagerly, you ascend his body, leaving a trail of your arousal across his sternum before you move to situate your thighs on either side of his face. He teases kisses over the delicate skin of your inner thighs, tickling you with his mustache. He palms your ass to bring you closer to his mouth and wraps his forearms around your thighs to hold you in place. You peer down through hooded eyes to admire the landscape of sinew and veins over his arms as his grip tightens. Satisfied with your position, he widens his tongue and licks through your folds at a languid pace. You start riding his face and grinding your slick folds along his nose, the tip hitting your clit in an intoxicating cadence while he fucks you with his tongue. He moans into your pussy, swipes his tongue through your folds, latches his lips around your clit, and begins to suck, causing the heat in your belly to reverberate through you. He continues to eat at you and smacks your ass, causing you to slam your palm against the wall for balance. Your other hand is carding through his hair, gripping the tendrils to push his face into you. 

“Yeah, eat that fucking pussy.” He moans at your demand, and you feel your belly start to coil with your imminent release. With his lips latched onto your clit, he continues sucking until you’re writhing and screaming his name as you come, soaking his chin with your release. 

“Fuck…” Javi is breathless. He would gladly suffocate in your pussy, “You taste incredible.” 

You shift your hips and begin to crawl down his chest. When your pussy meets his cock, you hiss when the tip hits your oversensitive clit. With his grip on your hips, he guides you back and forth over his cock to coat in your slick. You continue the pace, teasing him until he whimpers and begs to be inside you. 

“Begging for this pussy like a slut, huh?”

Before he has a chance to answer, you grab his cock and notch the tip at your entrance. Teasing it in slowly until he can’t wait any longer, he grabs your waist to spear you onto him. You begin riding him in earnest, using his cock as you see fit. His thrusts begin to meet yours as he pistons his cock into you. 

He lustfully watches the bounce of your tits as your ride him. They’re too far away from his mouth. He needs to feast on them. As he sits up, he takes a breast in his mouth, sucking kisses around the heavy weight, and takes a nipple in between his lips, nipping the hard bud with his teeth. His pursuit continues on your other tit when you circle your hips. He feels your pussy squeezing him and reaches in between your bodies to rub his thumb over your clit. Your legs begin to quiver, signaling you’re close, and he increases the pressure. He wraps his other arm around your back, pulling you into his chest. Your breasts pressed up against his bare chest, sticky with sweat. Your hardened nipples brush up against his skin as you ride him, causing more slick to build in your core. His grip tightens as he positions his feet flat on the bed and thrusts into you relentlessly. His pelvis slamming into your ass when he coos into your ear as you both ride out your orgasms together. Javi blurts out, “Tell me you need me.” 

He feathers soft kisses along your cheeks, down your jaw to your neck. He presses light kisses onto your bare shoulders. On his return ascent, he nuzzles his nose along your skin, retracing his steps to your lips. 

Taken aback by his declaration, you hum in response to his delicate touches as you both work to catch your breath and return to the room. Hoping that he was deep in the throws of his orgasm and he didn’t mean anything by it. Javi sits up, one leg bent with his foot flat on the bed and the bed sheet draped over his softening cock. He leans back against the headboard and lights a cigarette. Resting his arm on his knee, he looks down at you with hopeful eyes. 

You reluctantly make eye contact with him when you finally ask, “Why are you here, Javi?”

“I just needed to see you.” It’s at this moment when you realize Javi needs you more than you need him, and this has run its course, whatever “this” is. You’re not interested in more than fucking. You’re not interested in fixing a broken man, even if the sex is the best you’ve ever had.

Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to know what you think. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. 🫶🏻

npt for @almostempty since you asked about this particular WIP. 😊

[biscuitqueen]

1. How many followers do you have? I forgot...

2. When was the last time you want on a date? Never lol

3.How many posts have you made? 𝓘 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓸𝓽

4. What shoes do you wear? Black boots, heels, converse

5. What color are your walls? Lavender and baby pink

6. Where are you right now? In my bed

7. Would you consider yourself a good artist? Yea kinda

8. What was your first kiss? Some kid in kindergarten I DID NOT CONSENT

9. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yiss

10. Whats your favorite peice of clothing you own? Idk if this counts but a spiked choker, i dont like the feeling of my neck being empty

11. What type of neighborhood do you live in? Suburban

12. Whats your favorite store you shop at? Spencers, they are a little cheaper than hot topic and have rlly good jewelry (also i love seeing teenagers sneak in there for the first time 💀)

13. If you had to choose one positive word to describe yourself Uuuuuh... silly?

14. Do you collect anything? Incense, green day merch, bad grades, can tabs

15. Whats the last thing you ate? M&Ms

16. If you go to therapy do you like your therapist? Omg thats the ONE THING I want rn

17.whats one thing you want, but don't have the money or resources to get? Therapy, sum 41 concert tickets

18. whos the first person you can think of? @your-everyday-theatre-kid and one of my moms friends who drowned his jeep in a huge mud puddle when i was five

19. How old where you when you found out santa wasn't real? 🅘 🅕🅞🅡🅖🅞🅣

20.if you could revive one show that was cancelled what would it be? MORAL OREL I WOULD DO ANYTHING 🙏

21. Would you consider yourself apart of any alt subculture? Goth and maybe a bit punk?

22.who was your childhood favorite music artist? Sia

23. CDs or record players? CDs

24. Do you believe in any conspiracy theories? That class of 09 the FOOT side was a hoax created by the government to test us :D

25. Would you get back with any ex if given the opportunity? NO

26. Favorite kids show character? PHIL AND LIL FROM RUGRATS

27. Is the person you call your best friend actually your best friend? Ya

28. When you sad do you prefer to listen to music thats matches your mood or happy music? I like being depressed with a guy i warship for having had the same problems as me 20 years ago and now that he's famous he will never care about me individually but i still love him <3

29. Whats the last outfit you wore? Voodoo donuts shirt, skirt and tights

30. Do you have online friends? Sorta?

31. Least favorite clothing style thats popular rn? I don't especially hate any of them, so this doesn't really count but im still gonna complain about it: how everyone calls everything trending between the 90s and 2015 "Y2K" thats not what it means!!!!

32. How often do you do your laundry? No

33. Do you prefer silver or gold jewelry? Silver

34.whats you tv/movie guilty pleasure? 2 broke girls

35. If you could choose your hair however you want how would you change it? Uuum id make the bleached part of my hair less crispy and more white, id make it a bit fluffier and more alternative

36. Do you paint your nails? Yea

37. What an uncommon / obscure topic your interested in? Idk uuuuh my hatred for adult swim?

38. Whats the name of your first pet? Multiple at the same time so: norah (cat) asia (cat) bettie (dog)

39. What one feature you would change on tumblr? How the paragraphs are too far away

40. Whats the most interesting item you own? Um the best i can do is a fore extinguisher sign

41. Would you rather go on a museum or concert date? As long as they have good taste, concert

42. Whats one regret you have? Wasting my time and energy on so many people

42 personal questions ask game

how many followers do you have?

when’s the last time you went on a date

how many posts have you made?

What type of shoes do you wear?

what colour are the walls of your room

where are you right now? (not exact location. ex: at a park)

would you consider yourself good at art?

who was your first kiss?

do you still sleep with stuffed animals?

what’s your favourite piece of clothing you own?

do you live in an urban, suburban, or rural area?

what’s your favourite store to shop at? (online or irl)

if you had to choose one POSITIVE word to describe yourself, what would it be?

do you collect anything?

what’s the last thing you ate?

if you go to therapy, do you like your therapist?

what’s one thing you want to buy, but don’t have the money or resources to get?

Who’s the first person you can think of?

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

If you could revive one tv show that has been cancelled, what show would it be?

do you consider yourself a part of any alternative subculture? if so, which one(s)?

who was your childhood favourite music artist?

CDs or record players?

Do you believe in any conspiracy theories?

would you get back together with an ex if given the opportunity?

favourite kid’s show character?

is the person you call your best friend actually your best friend?

when you’re sad, do you prefer to listen to music to match your mood, or listen to happy music?

what’s the last outfit you wore?

do you have any online friends?

least favourite clothing style that is currently popular

how often do you do your laundry?

do you prefer silver or gold jewelry?

what’s your book/movie/tv guilty pleasure?

if you could change your hair however you want, how would you change it?

do you paint your nails?

what’s an uncommon/specific /obscure topic you’re interested in?

what’s the name of your first pet/what would you name your first pet if you had one?

what’s one feature you would change on tumblr?

what’s the most interesting item you own?

would you rather go on a date at a museum or a concert?

what’s one regret you have?

[blenselche]

insert for ch2

"Finn, come on."

background items: Marcy Acoustic set poster from Scream Queens, Fern's leaves pressed between glass, Finn's Candy Kingdom diplomat pin, the cash he won in a bet in the comic Marcy & Simon, the dimensional sword, root sword. I wanted to add more but thought it'd get too busy.

closer view and excerpt under the cut

He finds himself before the sink, mussing up his oily hair and disheveled beard to rid himself of wood chips, splashing water over his face and coughing after breathing deep off a stale cigarette. The cherry fizzles back at him against the aluminum as he taps it off into an empty. He tugs at the bottom of his eyelid — the whites of his eyes are yellowing again. Pressing his forehead to the mirror and staring at his reflection he sees Martin's eyes, jaw and brow. He sees his maladjusted view, understands now what he meant, in the end.

He can't look in a mirror without seeing the man staring back at him, and it only gets worse with age.

“You’re fine. Today was just a bad day,” he recites just as he’s been told to, loyal tool of the kingdom that he is, a coping mechanism PB calls self affirmation. He leans back, scoffing, “in a long line of bad days.”

His feet carry him to the stump set before his wood stove, and the air toasts his frozen fingers and melts away the pins and needles in the skin that his port connects to. Anxiety bubbles its way up his esophagus and he drowns it with a long pull off his homebrew, eyes flickering from the bottle to his prosthetic, foot tapping furiously. He sighs and gives into the itch at the back of his brain, taking the wish out and reading it over again, biting more teeth marks into a pencil already shredded down to the lead.

It’s something to look forward to. Something he can put off, hoping ‘it gets better’ but it hasn’t and he’s almost certain it won’t. A morbid form of motivation to get more built, work harder, save more people, hoping against hope he’ll wake up happy before he has to spirit himself away. But none of it matters without fulfillment, sat alone and suffocating under his own melancholy in this empty space, only a facsimile of a loved one on his chest for company. He wants to see his brother, he wants to see his mom. He wants from the bottom of his being to go back and smack himself for being dumb, deaf and blind in the face of his own wants and needs. He hunches more in on himself and clutches it harder, it crinkles back at him, threatening another rip.

Slim, sage colored fingers enter his vision and pluck the precious slip of writing from his hand.

“I’ll give it back if you clean yourself up and go to bed.”

“I have it memorized,” he sighs. “I thought you believed in nihilism, anyway, Miss nothing matters and the wind makes my decisions.” Their eyes meet and he can’t help himself but to smile, though it doesn’t reach the rest of his face.

“I believe in natural predeterminism inscribed on our souls by our great earth mother, not in being a sad sack with whisky dick.”

“Ouch. My ego,” he drones, throwing his palm to his chest in faux hurt. “Like I’m disappointing anyone these days. Cot’s closed, sweetheart.”

“So not why I’m here.” She rolls her eyes and holds her hand out, motioning for the bottle.

“If you crack it open against my floor you owe me a face cord of firewood.” He hands it over by the neck and she takes a fifth straight, wiping her mouth with the back of her glove and gagging. “Christ, bad day?”

“Not yet.” She sighs deeply, clearing her throat of the burn and takes a seat on the floor next to him. “You’re going to be pissed with me. I thought saying anything would just upset you, but you’re still set on doing this,” she waves the wish in her hand, “so. It might help. I don’t know.”

“What are you talking about?” His voice drops decibels, adam’s apple bobbing as he gruffly clears his throat.

“I swear to you I didn’t keep this from you on purpose.” She huffs a sigh and peers up at him guiltily. “You know, Fern crashed in my woods with LSP, but we never spoke. Not until the war.”

“…” his breath gets caught in his lungs, burning.

“I forgot. There was so much going on, back then.” She blinks at him, brows steepled, and covers his hand with her own. “What he said— when I did remember I thought it would just break your heart all over again, so I’ve kept it to myself.”

His hackles raise and defensiveness floods his veins, skin hot and starting to prick with nervous sweat. “Excuse me?” he asks, resistive.

Her eyes hold his though, expression full of pity unchanged. “Finn. Come on.” Her thumb brushes against his knuckles and he shakes her off.

His anger speaks for him, misplaced and protective of his brittle heart. “It’s been a decade and you think I’m like this over some kid I knew for half a minute when we were teenagers?”

“He wasn’t just some kid, I‘ve seen you- you know. Lurking in his tree. It’s a contributing factor in your whole bummer lifestyle because you never processed his death. Or are we still pretending that he has nothing to do with us?” Her voice is gentle but firm, not entertaining his usual evasiveness.

“I'm not doing this,” he snaps, shutting down. He stands and walks to the door, holding it open even though the cold night air will chill the space again. “I am sorry, ‘Tess, for— for whatever you think you know. I can’t rehash it. I’ve buried that shit deep, and it’s gonna stay there.”

“I asked him what he was fighting for. He was dying, falling apart under me, I was just trying to keep him distracted," she barrels ahead anyway. “He looked me in the eye and said ‘same as you.’ Maybe he opened up to me because of what was happening to him, or because he knew we had— you in common, I’m not sure.” She looks at him with such compassionate sympathy that it makes him nauseous. “He adored you, Finn—“ his knees buckle, “—he said he was happy to die for you if it meant he could 'make up for everything that happened after you left him behind’.” She stands and reads the wish, scrutinizing. “If you truly need to do this to be happy… knowing that can’t hurt.”

How he’s able to remain upright he doesn’t know, but a flash of devastation covers his face before he can recover.

“Please, don’t tell me his business,” he rasps, voice wavering. “I can’t,” he begs, croaking out the words through the raw vice of emotion choking him. “I can’t think about it.” He closes his eyes, pleading with his whole body.

He feels a hand brush against his cheek, and her lips press to his softly, whispering “I’ll miss you.”

When he opens his eyes again she’s gone. Bottle and paper placed neatly on his stool. He closes the door and leans against it, hugging himself and breathing hard, face hot with upset. The more he tries to calm himself the closer he comes to hyperventilating, and when the tears start his breathing only worsens. He crams his fist against his mouth and takes a shuddering gasp in, close to wailing over it.

[lunarimagines]

IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE [1]

Summary: An arrangement of convenience with Sunghoon doesn't go as planned when you get introduced to Jake. Things get complicated and suddenly you have to wonder how you can love two people at once without anyone getting hurt. Jake might just ruin your life...

Warnings: language, eventual sexual themes

A/N: Literally would not get out of my brain and the entire plot summary is written down in my notes app. I hope y'all enjoy, and please send me feedback!! Chapter isn't incredibly long because I want to test it out and see what y'all think.

Most people tend to forget - or pretend to forget - that idols have obligations and people in their lives pre-fame. For some idols, those lives are crushed and erased by companies from public view; but the people in their lives from before, the people who knew them the longest, still know them and remember that past.

It’s kind of like when you’re traveling through a town. It’s all foreign and new to you, but to many people in that town, it’s familiar and old. The people who know it best can find pain and love and suffering in that town. 

For you, the town is the ice rink. 

It’s hard to describe the exact smell of an ice rink. It smells like rubber and metal and cold. There’s really no other way to describe it. It is cold, obviously, but it’s a synthetic cold. Obviously. 

Still, it’s comforting. It reminds of a  blustery winter day when the weather dips below freezing and you know it’s going to snow soon, dampening the sounds of the outside and acting as a night light as the lights from the city reflect off the white shroud in the dark. That kind of peace and comfort is hard to replicate, but the ice rink does it for you. Maybe it’s because you spent most of your waking moments on the ice that you feel that way, the sides of your skates digging into your ankles to stabilize them, the rush of wind as you skate to prepare for your next jump, getting enough speed to launch into the air. 

For you, the town is also Sunghoon.

You remembered Sunghoon before he was a famous idol. You knew the young Sunghoon, the rising skater Sunghoon, the incredible skater Sunghoon possibly destined for the Olympics, and, now, idol Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon had shocked everyone at the ice rink when he announced he was pursuing life as an idol. Everyone but you. 

“Do you think… do you think it would be okay if I stopped skating?” He’d whispered it so quietly over the phone one night that the static almost drowned his soft voice out. You held the phone close to your ear, rolling onto your side in your bed to get closer to his voice. His call had woken you up around two in the morning and yet you had never felt so awake. Your heart was pounding and your hands felt clammy as you gripped your phone, staring at your wall in the dark.

“I think…” you paused, unsure. “I think you should do what makes you feel happy. What makes you excited when you wake up in the morning. If that’s not skating now, if it’s not skating ever again, that’s fine. That’s what I think.”

You heard Sunghoon’s steady breathing over the phone and you thought about the first time you’d met him at the rink. You’d both been young, steady on your skates but unsteady in nearly every other aspect of your young lives. You had gravitated toward each other due to your work ethic and dry humor. He’d been the first person you’d call when a new movie came out because you wanted to see it with him. You were the first person he’d call when he wanted to try a new restaurant because he wanted your honest opinion on the food. The two of you studied together when you could, skated together when you could, and trained together whenever possible. Everyone thought the two of you were dating, but the thought never crossed your minds. You simply loved Sunghoon and he loved you, a found family as a result of your passion for skating. 

Which is why he had called you to talk about one of the biggest decisions of his life.

“What do you want to do, like, instead? If anything, I guess,” you whispered in the early morning and cringed. You went for supportive but landed somewhere around awkward. 

Sunghoon laughed humorlessly. “I want to audition to be an idol.” 

You smiled. If anyone could make it as an idol…

“When you become an idol can I get a ticket to your concerts?”

Sunghoon laughed for real this time, and you rolled over onto your back as you felt Sunghoon relax over the phone. 

“No way, loser. I’ll ask them to charge you more.” 

He didn’t. When he had his first concert as an idol with his group after winning a grueling competition, he gave one ticket to you and the other to his mom. He even took a photo with you. “Anything for my fans,” he’d said, winking at you. You gagged and flipped him off behind his mom’s back, blushing slightly when you caught one of his group member’s eye mid-gag. The other boy had just smiled and shook his head as Sunghoon made a face at you, turning sweet when his mother turned around to hug him tightly again, proud of her son. He’d flipped you off back behind his mom’s back. 

Now, for the first time in all the years you’d known Sunghoon, you felt uncomfortable in front of him, sitting across from one another in the private dining room of an overly expensive restaurant. 

“I didn’t know.” Again with the whisper, like he was scared of what you would think. It was the same whisper he’d had when he had called you about becoming an idol.

“It’s okay. We can figure something out,” you reassured him, feeling anything but sure yourself.

“Of course they would do this, God,” Sunghoon breathed out, running his hands through his hair and hanging his head. “I am so sorry, Y/N. So, so sorry.” 

You sighed, standing to go behind Sunghoon. Rubbing his shoulders through his dress shirt, you sucked in a deep breath. 

“We both knew they wanted something from you when you switched, ah, career paths. If this is it, then this is it. We can figure it out later, but if we try to change their minds now it’ll just get ugly.”

Arranged dating. That’s what they’d proposed when they sat the two of you down for dinner. When Sunghoon had given up figure skating his parents had been supportive but displeased. He’d given up a shot at the Olympics after all. His parents had made him promise he wouldn’t worry them with idol life. The long hours, harsh environments, and dating scandals rocking the industry had made them worry, though. They’d met with the company and scrambled to find anything to make Sunghoon’s life more… stable. And they had landed on you. You had been a staple in his life for years. Those pre-idol obligations had come crashing down on the two of you on a Saturday evening, a rare Saturday Sunghoon had off. Arranged dating with the intent to marry, it seemed. They didn’t want to worry about all of Sunghoon’s future, the volatile nature of idol life making them nervous. 

You were the perfect candidate. 

“I feel like I’m in one of those, ‘My mom sold me to One Direction” Wattpad fics.’”

“Wattpad?” Sunghoon frowned, turning to look at you.

You rolled your eyes. “Nevermind, loser.”

“Wait, am I One Direction right now?” 

“Yeah, all four members.”

“There’s five of them, stupidhead,” Sunghoon replied, smug.

“Yeah, but you’re no Zayn. I’d gladly be dating him,” you joked, flicking the back of Sunghoon’s head. He stood up to face you, indignant. 

“Hey! I’m pretty good looking, too.”

You crinkled your nose at him, looking him up and down.

“That is no way to look at your boyfriend,” he joked, and you couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing was. You couldn’t believe your own parents agreed to this, you couldn’t believe Sunghoon’s parents even dreamt this up, and you couldn’t believe you were in a terrible fanfiction trope. You wanted to cry or maybe laugh or maybe just sleep for a few years until your problems became less glaring. 

“Hey,” Sunghoon said, his hand sliding down your arm to hold your hand softly. “I’m not asking you to fall in love with me like that. They’ll feel better when my career becomes more secure.”

You sighed, looking down. “I just don’t know what the rules are for this.”

He scoffed. “What do your One Direction fanfictions say?”

You raised your head and stared at him, unamused. “First of all, I never read those. Second of all, if I had, say, read them, I guess the rules would say we could act as we always have. You’re not a good actor -” you held up a hand to stop him as he opened his mouth to say something snarky, no doubt “- so we won’t try and act any differently around your parents.”

Sunghoon nodded, still annoyed. “What about actually dating…”

He didn’t finish. You knew what he meant though. Actually dating someone you were attracted to romantically. It didn’t hurt when he said it, it just made you feel a deep, aching sadness in your stomach. If you dated someone you actually liked, you’d be labeled a cheater and ostracized if it was ever found out. If Sunghoon dated someone he actually liked… it would be the same but worse. There were no winners at this particular junction, no way to find a new route home in your hometown. 

You shrugged at him. “It doesn’t look good. Why? You have a crush on someone?” 

Sunghoon rolled his eyes at your sing-songy voice. He pushed you away gently. “No, but I would like to find true love.”

You batted your eyes at him and he gagged, smiling as he turned to hug you. A hug from Sunghoon was pretty rare, and you held on tight. 

“We’ll be fine,” you mumbled into his shoulder. “You can’t scare me off that easily. I remember when you had food poisoning and still insisted on skating and-”

He pushed you away. “Oh my, God, would you shut the fuck up.”

You laughed, throwing your head back as you turned to bump your shoulder into his. The two of you walked toward the exit of the restaurant, him to his car and you, in the next few minutes, to the subway station to take a late train home. 

Sunghoon stopped by the door, turning to face you quickly. “Want to come over next Friday and meet the others? I’ll tell them about what’s going on and then you can meet them. Okay?” You nodded. It felt slightly embarrassing, but it felt right that his bandmates knew what was going on between the two of you. After years of telling them nothing was going on with you and Sunghoon it would seem odd you were suddenly dating the man without the context surrounding the arrangement. Embarrassing to say out loud, maybe. But telling them kept some part of your pride intact. 

“I’ll see you next Friday, then. Around eight?” you asked, checking your phone calendar to make sure you weren’t scheduled for work.

Sunghoon nodded, punching you lightly on the arm as he headed out. You plopped down in a plush chair at the front and waited for ten minutes before leaving after, taking your sweet time to get to the subway station. 

It was a nice night, slightly chilly but clear. The rush of traffic wasn’t slowing down in the city, yet the sidewalks weren’t crowded. Your pace was leisurely as your mind mulled over the events of the night. You wondered how your parents had agreed to it, but you figured they always thought you and Sunghoon were an item and felt it was natural. It stung a bit to think about, and your eyes got wet at the thought. You blinked back the emotions and trudged on, reaching the subway and taking the late train home. Miraculously, the train wasn’t crowded yet for a Saturday night and you found a seat. The swaying of the car felt relaxing on your suddenly weary body and you slumped back into the seat. You were almost dreading next Friday, but a small part of you was looking forward to meeting Sunghoon’s bandmates. You hadn’t met them, truly met them, except in passing at concerts. Now that his past and his present were merging you would finally have the chance to meet them.

All week you amped yourself up to meet Sunghoon’s bandmates. You finally felt ready as you got out of the cab behind their dorm on Friday and a staff member ushered you inside.

But when you finally met the members there was only one way to describe it: A Shitshow. And it was all because of one man in particular.

Fucking Jake Sim.

[clj-art-blog]

Dongfang yanwai & Lanhua niangzi | Drowning in her eyes...

[vintageseawitch]

this is what i think of when third party voters go around acting morally superior because they don't want to get their hands dirty like the rest of us. they're toddlers having temper tantrums because instead of using the system in a way that could benefit them in the long term like the extremist Republicans have been doing for decades, third party voters refuse to participate in local civics & then claim the entire country is already fascist. they're so cute in their naivety if they think the US can't get any worse.

what the fuck do you think will happen if you try to protest against a government with a military as massive, lethal, & expensive as ours. who do you think will be sacrificed first? oh what's that? crickets? thought so. i'm a white woman but i will absolutely use my voice to point out leftists can be racist as fuck & the anti-blackness in your spaces can be absolutely fucking wild. not everyone leftist is white, but many that are can be pretty problematic.

if you think i'm selfish then fine. if you state that you would gladly exchange my life for a Palestinian like one of you said in a comment to me a few weeks ago then fine. i'm out here fighting to make sure the people who live here in this country don't experience our own Holocaust.

if you have a problem with people wanting to fight this while claiming you're anti-genocide, you're a fucking liar & a hypocrite. you won't know what the fuck to do in a true fascist country. i don't doubt there are pockets of fascism already existing here but you thinking it's already the worst it can be is as infuriating as people who think the government is creating their massive hurricanes using weather machines. you sound just as childish & delusional. you already sound like children because you will never take responsibility for your choices if it ends up helping him win.

jill stein's campaign is a sham. she is deliberately running as a spoiler. she's a wealthy white woman who lives in a mostly white affluent neighborhood. she's going around lecturing black people about white supremacy. she is getting funds from Republicans as well as help from trump's lawyers. Lockheed Martin has given her money. she's involved in shady as fuck index funds for companies that harm the environment. she only started talking about Gaza during this election cycle to hit you in the feelings so she can bank on it. she made a whole stink about needing a recount, raised a bunch of money for that, & then that money disappeared who knows where. do you all hear this? do you care? no, you're just like maga with their orange Jesus. you don't give a FUCK about stein's red flags because she's "different."

if Harris loses & you blame anyone but yourselves, you're cowardly traitors who threw us regular Americans to the wolves because of your precious fucking principles. history has shown time & time again that protest voting typically allows something worse to take control. it's hardly ever beneficial to the people. you're vile. you don't want to make this world a better place by allowing so many near you to suffer & die. if both sides are the same then please tell me you're okay with another trump presidency. or just shut the fuck up.

i look forward to more potentially heartwarming messages saying that my life doesn't mean shit from people who allegedly are against the death penalty & are pro-human rights 🥰

please vote, don't stop talking about Project 2025, etc. i hope enough of us vote in a way that these pathetic third party voters don't gain any kind of traction. at this point i'm just angry at their hypocrisy when they don't even listen to other protestors who live here & are begging them to not vote third party. i refuse to listen to y'all not take responsibility for your part. Project 2025 will hurt us all but apparently you're okay with that or you think it's already here. smooth brain takes all around. anyways good luck & stay safe to anyone who votes blue 💙

[isfjmel-phleg]

🎧

[roboyomo]

just. places amor and apollo in your hands. take care of them

[akkivee]

i wake up with them and these on my mind and i’m devastated tbh lmao

[chiistarri]

imsoo normal about guys byw

[septimus-heap]

Okay okay wait I know I talk abt this all the time but I am once again thinking abt how marcia was the one to offer septimus a home. She offered him an apprenticeship when hed spoken like 3 sentences total to her and I am INSANE over it

[strwbrymlkshake]

LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND