#He's only 4 and a half years old and the world is so hard.

[caracello]

i like ani.

[metalhoops]

The Five Times Eddie Wondered Who His Soulmate Was  and the One Time He Didn’t Have To

1. 

The worst thing about knowing your soulmate was in trouble was understanding there was nothing you could do about it. 

As a whole, Eddie thought the concept of soulmates was bullshit. He thought all that fate and destiny crap was a scam to sell the idea of monogamy or co-dependence. If people were too busy fretting over when they’d meet ‘their person’, they’d forget that actual shit was going on in the world. Who had the time to care about systemic oppression when they were busy trying to work out if the cute girl across the corridor was their one true love? 

That being said, sometimes Eddie got curious about who they were. Not many people found their soulmates. It wasn’t as obvious as you’d think. When they were in pain, you would feel it. Two people could live across the world from one another, feeling each scraped knee and broken wrist but never meet. Hell, you could live across the street from someone and unless you were there to watch them get hurt and feel the same old pang of shared pain, you’d never know. 

It wasn’t like Eddie had never felt his soulmate before that day. They’d twisted an ankle when Eddie was twelve and sprained a wrist when he was fourteen, but he’d felt no pain from them so strong as when he was sitting in detention during his junior year. 

He was counting down the minutes left until he could get out of the high school, hell hole when a sharp and sudden pain flooded his jaw. He gritted his teeth and cradled it with his palm, feeling as though the wind was knocked out of his body. Eddie knew what being punched in the face felt like, and that was it. Just when the ache started to fade, another thud of pain to his cheek made his vision swim. From there, Eddie held his breath, waiting for the pain to end. He rested his head on his desk and felt his heart in his throat as the blows kept coming. 

He missed Mrs Click telling him to go home, too busy gripping the desk for dear life, his fingernails digging into the poorly carved desk graffiti, slicing a line through ‘RB 4 TT.’ He was elated when the pain finally stopped. 

Eddie kept his head down the whole walk home, trying to tell himself soulmates were bullshit, and that he didn’t care about his, but his thoughts kept returning to visions of them. He hoped they were okay. 

Eddie never wanted to know who his soulmate was until that moment. They’d had a hell of a day and Eddie wanted to be there with them, tell them he knew what it was like. He wanted to hold their head in his lap and tell them everything was going to be okay, that if it were up to him, no one would hurt them like that again, but he couldn’t. For all he knew, they could be a hundred miles away. 

2.

The next time it happened, Eddie was at home alone in the trailer. Uncle Wayne was working a night shift, and he was watching a horror movie marathon on the T.V. It was shaping up to be a good night, with him curled up on the couch watching a schlocky creature feature when he felt all the air knocked out of his lungs. 

For a moment, he was worried something horrible was happening to him. When Jeff had appendicitis, he’d reported the same kind of pain. Eddie rolled up the hem of his shirt, watching a black-blue bruise bloom and fade in the span of a second. Sometimes, if the pain was great enough, you’d get what they called an ‘echo’ of the injury. It only lasted a moment, invisible ink fading on pale paper. 

The pain had been so strong that Eddie hadn’t been able to tell if it was theirs or his. From there, it got worse. He felt a sharp pang crash over his head, then another series of blows to the face. It was always the goddamn face.

When it was over, Eddie was left feeling lightheaded. The sensation faded quickly, but he knew his other half would be stuck with the ache for the rest of the night, if not longer. 

There was a lot of conjecture when it came to soulmates. It was hard to conduct scientific studies on something based entirely on sensation, and any research that had been done was less than ethical. All the same, for the rest of the night, Eddie curled his arms around himself, holding his body in the hopes his person could feel it, that he could give them some comfort. 

“I hope you’re okay,” he whispered, burrowing his face into the crook of his elbow. 

Back at school, Eddie floated through the halls feeling less than himself as thoughts of his person swirled. The school was abuzz with rumours of a fight between Billy Hargrove and the former king of Hawkins High, Steve Harrington. Eddie couldn’t care less about some pissing contest for the highest rung on the social ladder, as he still felt the echoed ache of his soulmate’s pain throughout the day. 

He ditched gym, opting to hide beneath the bleachers and smoke. To his surprise, he wasn’t the only one with the idea. When he arrived, he found the overthrown king sitting cross-legged, cradling his still-bruised jaw. Eddie wasn’t a fan of the jocks, but they were the biggest contributor to his wallet, so he tried to play civil with them. Plus, Eddie wasn’t one to kick someone when they were down, and boy was Steve down. He sat beside the man, examined his face, and thought for a fleeting second. Maybe he was the one, but that was crazy talk. The Freak and the King. In what world? 

“You look like you’ve had better days,” Eddie noted. 

“I’ve had worse,” Steve replied. Eddie had a pit in his stomach. 

The two lapsed into silence, hiding out until the bell sounded for the end of gym. Eddie gave the boy a half-hearted salute as he stood.

“Hey, Steve?” Eddie spoke before he left.

“You okay?”

Steve gave Eddie the ghost of a smile, all charm drowned out by Steve’s two black eyes. 

“I will be.” 

3.

Eddie had been worried about his soulmate before, but he’d never thought he’d lose them until the summer vacation after his failed attempt at senior year. He and the rest of Corroded Coffin had just finished their set at The Hideout. Eddie and the boys were carrying their instruments back to the van when the feeling hit. 

He fell to the asphalt. The whole scene sounded all the more dramatic as the hi-hat he’d been holding fell with him. He really wished his soulmate would learn to keep their head down and stay out of trouble because this was getting ridiculous. He got ready to hunker down and wait it out, having gotten morbidly used to their annual beatings. Only this time the pain didn’t stop. 

He was hit with wave after wave of agony. This time, it wasn’t just the face. He felt blows to his jaw, his stomach, and his side. He also felt a sharp spike of pain in his hand, as though someone was trying to peel his nails from his skin.

He could hear his friends around him, desperately trying to get something coherent out of Eddie, trying to work out if it was soulmate bullshit or if the guy was having an aneurysm. By the way he was acting, either seemed possible. When the pain subsided, Eddie felt foggy, like he was going through the worst goddamn high of his life. The neon signs of The Hideout and the street lamps danced before his eyes. Hundreds of little halos clouded his vision. He couldn’t think straight. 

He managed to prop himself up against the wheel of the van and pulled his knees to his chest. He knotted his hands in his long hair and tugged, trying to remind himself what his own pain felt like, though stopped when he realised he’d also be hurting them. That was the last thing they needed. 

“You okay?” He heard Gareth ask when the world came swimming back into focus. Eddie shook his head. Far from it.  

“Are they okay? Are they... alive?” Eddie hadn’t let himself entertain that idea until it was brought up. 

He felt the last flush of colour drain from his face. He could still feel them, but there was something wrong with the connection. Maybe he was dying. Eddie couldn’t help but think of his soulmate as ‘he’. He just knew. 

Eddie kept trying to tell himself he didn’t care about them, but the fact that he could die without Eddie ever having met him made his heart ache. People thought the reason you felt your person’s pain was to protect them, to know when something was wrong. Eddie had done a bang-up job at that. 

“For now, but it’s weird. I don’t... I don’t know how much longer-,” Eddie didn’t let himself finish. 

The rest of the band suddenly took on a sombre mood. Jeff and Grant finished packing up the van while Gareth offered to drive. The boys stayed at Eddie’s trailer for the rest of the night, holding their breaths and waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Eventually, Eddie dropped off to sleep and when he awoke hours later, he was relieved to realise he hurt all over. He was still alive, still waiting for Eddie to find him and god did Eddie want to. 

His uncle came home at the crack of dawn and let out an elongated sigh of relief at seeing Eddie and his band of merry men curled up together on the living room carpet. Wayne greeted Eddie with a tight hug that still hurt like hell.

“I was worried something happened to you,” His uncle stated in his gravelled tone.

“Why would something have happened to me?” Eddie asked, perplexed. 

“The mall burnt down last night. I was worried you were close by.” 

Eddie shook his head and let his uncle hold him as his mind ticked away. He wondered if it was possible his soulmate was in Hawkins. Eddie wasn’t sure he believed in coincidence.   

4.

Eddie started seeing spots during his lunchtime speech. By the end of his rant, the room had started to tilt. He felt unsure on his feet as he clambered from the top of the jock table to scamper back to the hellfire group. He must look worse for wear because he noticed one of his new recruits watching him.

“Eddie, you good?” Dustin questioned, sounding further away than he should. The lights in the cafeteria were too bright and his head was killing him. 

He felt close to throwing up and wondered where the pain had come from before realising the familiar distance from the sensation. It wasn’t his pain. Eddie didn’t want Henderson to butt into his love life any more than he already did, so he gave the kid a tight-lipped smile that more closely resembled a grimace. This wasn’t the first time he’d felt this sensation from his soulmate, but they were growing more frequent.  

Again, sweetheart? Eddie thought, knowing it was the second migraine that week. 

“Migraine,” Eddie hissed through gritted teeth. He could feel his band members' eyes on him. They knew exactly who the ache belonged to. 

To Eddie’s surprise, Dustin passed him a cool glass of water and barked orders at Mike, getting the kid to remove the ugly Hawaiian over shirt, before throwing it over Eddie’s head, blocking out the light. It wasn’t Eddie’s pain, so it didn’t help but he could appreciate the sentiment. 

“Did they teach you first aid at science camp, Henderson?” Eddie guessed offhandedly. 

“Nah. Steve gets migraines all the time. Helps to know how to deal with them.”

Eddie would never understand how a kid like Dustin came to know Steve Harrington, let alone worship the ground the guy walked on. Usually, Dustin had such good taste.  

“Eddie’s soulmate gets them too,” Gareth spoke unhelpfully. 

Even without looking, Eddie knew he was shooting him a shit-eating grin, knowing the rest of the afternoon Henderson would ask him about his soulmate. Just because the kid found Suzie, he thought the whole world deserved to find their one true love. Instead, Dustin came out with the most bullshit statement Eddie had ever heard. 

“Maybe Steve’s your soulmate.” 

Yeah, right. On what planet would that happen? 

5.

With everything that had happened to Eddie in the past few days, he hadn’t had time to think about his soulmate. He’d watched Chrissy die before his eyes, learnt the existence of another dimension and was walking through said dimension after witnessing Steve Harrington take a bite out of a demon bat’s tail. It’d been a weird ass day.  

He wished he’d been like Robin and Nancy, able to jump in and rescue Steve on a whim, but as Steve disappeared beneath the black water of Lover’s Lake, he’d felt his throat close and his lungs ache for air. It wasn’t a good time for a panic attack. Nevertheless, he’d managed to get his ass in gear and follow the rest of the group down into Watergate. 

He’d dropped back to walk with Steve and found himself complimenting the man. Steve was nothing like he imagined. He was not only kind, but as Dustin had put it, a total badass. 

Once the adrenaline faded, Eddie found himself lifting the hem of his shirt, examining his side. He felt a dull throb of pain. It’d be his luck to bleed out without noticing, but he found there was nothing there. 

“You good?” Steve asked.

Eddie couldn’t help but let his gaze settle on Steve’s bleeding side. He held his breath. He thought about pushing his hand against Steve’s wound, hurting him more just to check, but Eddie couldn’t hurt Steve. Not now. Especially if he was who Eddie thought he might be. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. You okay?” Eddie asked, gesturing to Steve’s side. The boy nodded.

“I’m fine, just a scratch. Can hardly feel a thing.” 

If Steve was his soulmate, he was full of shit. If Steve was his soulmate when everything blew over, they had a few things to talk about.

+1

Something was very wrong. Vecna was going down in a blaze of flame when Steve’s body started to ache. He felt the familiar sting of interdimensional bat fangs digging into dermis flesh. Robin and Nancy were cheering, wrapping their arms around Steve, whooping, hollering and panting while Steve was busy feeling like he was being torn apart. 

He was pulling away from the girls and turning on his heels before he had the chance to explain, running from the Creel House to the trailer park as fast as his feet could carry him. There was only one person this pain could belong to. 

Steve had spent his whole life searching for his soulmate, desperate to know who they were, and he’d been under his nose the whole time. The fact that Steve’s soulmate was a boy hadn’t surprised him as much as it should. That’d been a crisis bubbling away in the background of his brain since he’d gone to his first swim meet. He’d seen a boy in tight swim trunks, with tan skin and felt the familiar heart-pounding, crush he’d experienced on pretty girls he’d passed in the school hallways. 

By the time he got to Eddie, he’d hardly been able to fight through the pain surging through their connection. Dustin was wailing, holding Eddie in the wake of a bat graveyard. He looked up in alarm at Steve’s figure, noticing his pale skin and sweat-slicked brow. 

“Harrington?” Eddie’s weak voice came from Dustin’s lap. 

Steve was busy removing his clothes, trying to stop the bleeding. Dustin didn’t need to show him where the man was hurt, he could feel it. 

“I really must have got some brownie points in the end,” Eddie murmured. 

Both boys hissed as Steve shoved his shirt into a wound at Eddie’s side. That was when Dustin appeared to catch on, his eyes swelling wide as they darted between the two boys. 

“What’re you talking about, Munson?” Steve asked, trying to keep the guy talking. 

“Must’ve got into heaven after all,” He hummed, his deep brown eyes gazing beyond Steve at the distant red sky. 

“Hey. No. None of that. You aren’t in heaven because you’re not dying,” Steve hissed, using what little strength he had left to lift Eddie’s body. 

“Gotta be in heaven, if you’re here,” Eddie spoke, giving Steve a lopsided grin. Steve felt Eddie’s pain beginning to fade and panicked, not ready to let things end before they’d even had the chance to begin. 

He hoisted Eddie up through the portal and waited to do the same with Dustin. It wasn’t long before the distant sound of sirens once more surrounded the Munson trailer and Steve found himself passing out from the pain as red-blue lights swallowed the world whole. 

Eddie woke in pain, his whole body humming with a familiar dull ache that was unarguably his. It took time for him to make sense of the scene. He was in the hospital. Steve was slumped over at the far edge of the room, sleeping in an uncomfortable plastic chair, his head thrown back and his mouth agape. Eddie’s eyes trailed to his bedside, where he met Dustin’s. 

“Holy shit, you’re awake,” the boy gasped, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. 

Eddie cringed as he felt a rush of pain swarm through his body. He must have gasped, because Steve sprung to life, waking with a start as his eyes trailed from Dustin to Eddie. Steve’s eyes were a storm of quiet conflict, punctuated by deep purple bruises. 

“Eddie,” Steve breathed, standing to hover beside the bed, unsure of what to do next. 

He was surprised Steve was there at all. He wouldn’t say the two were close. Though Steve had probably found some way of twisting Eddie getting hurt into some fault of his, ever the damn hero. 

“Thought I was a goner for a second there,” Eddie admitted, trying to shake some of the strange tension from the room.

“If Steve hadn’t gotten there in time, you would’ve been,” Dustin spoke. Eddie watched as the boy’s hands trembled. He leaned over, fighting through the pain to ruffle the kid’s hair. Steve’s shoulders hunched over, doubling into himself. 

“I’ll get the nurse. Your uncle left for his nightshift, but he should be back in a few,” Dustin muttered as he made a beeline for the exit. It seemed strange the boy was extracting himself from the scene.

Henderson called over his shoulder. “I told you so.” 

And just like that, Eddie knew. 

He looked up at Steve with wide-eyed alarm, only to find his look mirrored.

“How’d you know we were in trouble?” Eddie asked, though thought he knew the answer. 

“After we killed Vecna, I felt... I could feel you. I knew you were hurt,” Steve explained. 

“How’d you know it was me?” Eddie pushed.

“Thought it was too much of a coincidence that it felt like my soulmate was getting eaten alive by giant bats. I’d call it an educated guess.” 

Eddie gritted his teeth and nodded. Surely, as far as soulmates went, he hadn’t been what Steve imagined. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve said, surprising Eddie. 

“For what?”

“Not being the person you wanted me to be, I guess,” Steve spoke so candidly, it made pain and panic swell in his throat. How could Steve think Eddie was disappointed that he was his soulmate?

“I’m not disappointed, Stevie. Why would I be disappointed?” 

“You had to have known,” Steve reasoned. 

Eddie didn’t know how long he’d been unconscious, but it sounded like Steve had been overthinking every second of it. 

“You give me more credit than I deserve. I didn’t know it was you, sweetheart. Cross my heart,” Eddie admitted, surprised at how quickly the term of endearment he’d used for his soulmate slipped off his tongue when talking to Steve. 

He hadn’t worked out shit. He’d had hunches, as though his heart knew, but the logical part of his brain kept overriding it. In what world were he and Steve perfect for each other?

Eddie threw caution to the wind as he saw the genuine look of affection and excitement painting its way across Steve’s face. He looked hopeful. Eddie cringed, sitting up and trying to lean closer to Steve.

“Come here before I hurt the both of us,” Eddie grumbled.

Steve shuffled closer to Eddie’s bed, crouching down, so the two were at eye level. Eddie wanted to kiss the boy so damn bad, and Steve was sending him all the signs that he should, but there was something he had to do first. He took Steve’s face between his hands, running a thumb over the purple bruises beneath his eyes.

“No more playing hero, okay?” 

Steve nudged his face into the palm of Eddie’s hand and nodded, letting out a weak chuckle. 

“I think I can agree to that.” 

Eddie crushed their lips together and despite the pain, it felt like everything was right in the world. 

[writingoddess1125]

hiya!

Could you do Prince Nuada from Hellboy 2 and reader?

This one has taken me a while- Also thank you for reigniting the LOVE I had for Prince Nuada! Ugh! So sexy!!

I do hope this is to your liking since it did take some warping.

1. I gotta keep Nuada and Nuala alive so the ending didn't happen

2. Introduce elements from the comics aka Hellboy had adopted siblings.

OKAY ENJOY! I TRIED HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Half Breed

Prince Nuada x FemReader

Support me on Ko-Fi I'm poor!

After the fortunately failed suicide attempt from Nuala which had horribly injured both twins- Nuafa had been captured and the two rushed back to the Bureau for emergency treatment, Which fortunately allowed the Elves to survive the whole ordeal.

Nuada had been placed in custody of B.P.R.D first as a high level prisoner for many months after his attempt to wipe out humanity.

After being in solitary confinement for far too long a deal was struck with him to work for the organization due to his knowlege of the world and to get out of solitary help all that had been damaged.

He had agreed- begrudgingly and because Nuala insisted.. it had been nearly a year of this all- When something interesting took place.

Nuala and Abe walked down the corridors together, talking about recent books they had shared before Abe paused.

"Oh?-" He looked around calmly before seeing the warning lights come down shining blue instead of the normal red for emergencies.

"Is there an emergancy?" Nuala questioned, a bit nervous of what it could mean, But Abe gently touched her shoulder with his gloved hand.

"No no- Just a old friend. Everytime she visits her and Red play a.. Game of sorts like tag" Abe explained, Nuala smiling at hearing this. Nuada who had just returned from a mission turned the corner seeing his sister and the fish man, frowning but looking to the lights.

"Whats this?" He asked shortly, Abe repeating his answer from before.

"Warning lights for a Game?" He questioned, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Well they are only allowed to have this game once a year and for 5 minutes- mainly due to the property damage that always happens" Abe said truthfully as the elven twins looked surprised by this. A childish game causing property damage?

As if right on cue there was a loud crash the trio turning to see Hellboy running full force in their direction like a train.

"MOVE MOVE!" He yelled loudly, as he ran past them. This was the fastest any of them had seen him run even in a life or death situation, right as he was about to turn the corner a black boot came barrowing down on the side of his cheek, knocking him to the ground hard before the smaller figure ran down the hall Red had just gone through.

"You're it!" She yelled and the trio watched- There running past was a women. Dressed in all black leather tactical gear with her silver hair in a long braid, the ends a sunset gold- (Y/S/C) skin with unique etchings found in only elvish culture paired with amber eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure see what she was-

"Timer Abe!" She yelled, Abe looking to the small watch he carried.

"4 minutes and 26 seconds left- Also happy youve returned safely" He called out to (Y/N) who dashed down the hallway.

Nuada eyes widened as he couldnt help but follower her with his gaze, something about her drew him in. The trio sticking to the walls as they tried to follow the action- it was like a massive battle taking black between a giant and a tiny titan. While Red was slamming into walls cracking cement with his weight and arm- (Y/N) was doing flips and hung to the light fixtures above to keep an advantage.

"Happy to see you too!!!"

He could only describe himself as being mesmerized by her.. Every turn, giggle and jump just seemed to bewitch him and it terrified him.. It wasn't till a loud alarm snapped him his gaze making him jump a bit in surprise- the game was over it seemed and Hellboy returned with his sister, the demon clearly glum from losing.

Nuala eyes widened as she watched (Y/N) jump around Hellboy with a happy smile at winning the game. Figuring what she was but disbelieving of course even after this entire endeavor. A leath-fola. A Half-Blood Actually existed in this world? The embodiment of a union between a human and one of his own kind-

"I win Red! So that's 28 for me and 25 for you. Best luck next you!" She said cheerfully as Hellboy grumbled and pushed her head away with his small hand.

"Yada Yada short stack-"

She noticed the looks of the two meeting their gazes and Nuada immediately felt his heart beat pick up- Confused by the sensation he glanced to Nuala assuming it must be her however she seemed calm and relaxed.

"New Agents?" She questioned looking at the twins, Abe nodding with a 'smile'

"Prince Nuada of the Bethmora clan.. This here is my sister Princess Nuala" He introduced both formally, watching how her smile seemed to radiate as he spoke. It made him feel like he had had stepped into the sun for the first time in years..

"It's lovely to meet you both! It's so lovely to have new faces here in the facility" She said cheerfully, reaching out in a friendly matter and patting both twins on the shoulders.

It felt like Nuada had been shocked by the most pleasant bit of electricity that left him flustered and confused. His sister finally glancing at him as she felt his emotions and gaze a smile, a twinkle of what could only be described as mischief in her golden gaze.

"Yes.. new faces... now if you'll excuse me" Nuada said quickly before dismissing himself- trying to control the panic that was eating him on the inside and the warmth that bloomed in his body. He practically ran back to the space he was forced to call a room and lock himself inside. Nuada stood in his room pacing back and forth. His mind racing and heart uneasy- unknowingly for hours as he tried to calm himself from the sudden feelings that seemed to slam into him.

A knock on the door bringing him from his thoughts as he quickly opened the door, surprised to see his sister standing there in a evening gown.

"Sister, what are you doing up? You should be resting.." He said softly, allowing Nuala into the room.

"I can not rest with you so worked up brother" Nuala said softly. The prince sighing as he realized he had kept her up and took a seat on the corner of the bed, Nuala sitting next to him as well.

"Well- It sounds like she is your fated partner" She pointed out and Nuada immediately felt anger in his blood.

"You're thinking about the leath-fola (Y/N)? Right?" Nuala said softly as she rubbed her brothers shoulder to comfort him. He frowned at being so obvious and also for the form of comfort.

"Yes- She... makes me uneasy" He says, lying a bit to avoid the words he wanted to use. Nuala smiling at this.

"Do not speak such foolish things-" He hissed, Nuala flinching at his harsh words.

"I am not fated to a mortal of all beings" He started but Nuala held up a hand.

"She is not a mortal however brother.. You saw" Nuada was ready to argue but couldnt- his face twisting up.. The damn half-breed was not his fated partner NOR was it going to be the siblings of the demon.

He would prove it...

For the first few weeks that (Y/N) was there, Nuada had been rude and snide. Hissing insults about her mixed blood, shoving past her or even straight up ignoring her. He expected she would take the abuse since she didnt say anything about it but he had been wrong- so terribly wrong.

It took only one time calling her "Dirty" in terms of her blood to get the hardest punch he had ever taken to the nose- It made his eyes water and fall to a knee infront of her..

She grabbed his silver hair and pulled him close so they were eye to eye-

"Listen here- Keep insulting me like this and I'm going to tear your ass a new one. I don't give a Flying fuck if your a price or whatever- I will fuck you up" She hissed at him-

Nuada felt more confused then he ever had before- The pain seemingly going with the fluttering warmth he felt in his face and blatant arousal that was Damm near impossible to miss- (Y/N) seeing his widened eyes and the flush of color on his pale face, like he was frozen and her own golden eyes traveled down at noticing some new movement.

"O-Oh-" Was all she said- Clearly just as surprised as Nuada was at this point. Her fingers carefully releasing his silver hair as warmth went to her own cheeks.

Nuada wanted a blade to the heart at this point...

[autisticlenaluthor]

Lena

TW: mentions of drowning, dissociation, 4-year-old Lena in intense distress, and witnessing a dead body

The sky above the lake is painted black with a heavy brush– cut through only by the gray clouds rumbling above it. The moon, which used to be so clear, now hides behind the fog. It pokes out every so often to make the smallest of appearances, reminding Lena it’s still there.

At night the trees, all tall and stocky, look more like people than plants. They’re skinny giants with lanky limbs and their eyes are stuck on the little girl standing at the shore. It’s all Lena can seem to think about– how the air is so cold and her mom isn’t holding her anymore. She’s alone again as they watch her, waiting for the right moment to pounce. 

Her mom always tells her monsters aren’t real. She checks the closets and under the bed every night before bedtime just in case. She always tells her they’re safe.

But the glimmering water they spend every Sunday dipping their toes in just swallowed her whole and sucked up all the air bubbles with her. The waves they paddled in together under shining skies had turned dark and suddenly, the world was upside down. 

The lake was their spot. The water belonged to them. And now, her mom belongs to the water. 

Lena stares straight ahead of her, as she’s done since the sun was still shining, and holds pieces of her swimsuit in her fingers.

The material is mostly dry now. It hangs loose on her body– the damp spots making her shiver whenever they meet her skin. Mom had told her she would grow into it. Lena isn’t sure. 

She isn’t sure that the trees won’t come to life and finally attack. Isn’t sure she’ll ever be able to move again. Isn’t sure if any of this is real at all or if it’s just another bad dream she needs to wake up from. 

Lena hopes it is. She hopes her mom is at the other end of it– ready to pick her up and rock her back to sleep. 

As Lena tries to find the strength to pull her swimsuit away from her, she can hear something crunching behind her. It sounds like footsteps in the gravel only louder. It makes her wonder if the Monster Trees have decided to come for her– if they think she isn’t aware of their plans to take her too.

“Hey!” A deep voice calls out to her. “Hey, are you alright?” 

More footsteps approach. They’re shining a light now too – a big one. It makes Lena shiver even harder and her stomach twist. When did it get so cold? 

“Hey– kid.”

Slowly, Lena turns her head and wrinkles her eyes at the white beams hitting her. There’s an ambulance in front of her– over by the edge of the trail. It looks like the ones that sometimes drive by their cottage, to the house at the end of the road where Mrs. Porter lives. Mom says it’s because she’s so old, she gets sick very easily now. Sometimes, she needs help making it to the doctor. 

“Hey…” The voice softens. 

Lena squints at it– the light is getting unbearable– and tries to step backward. But her legs have forgotten how to move and the stones beneath her are so slippery. She stumbles in her haze and her feet slide beneath her. She falls hard onto her bottom. 

A noise escapes as Lena looks down at herself. Her fingers dig into the sand, grasping piles of pebbles and sea glass.

“It’s okay– I’m not gonna hurt you.”

But it does hurt– her legs and her arms and her eyes and everything else. There’s pain shooting through her hips– the rocks are so hard. And as Lena’s fingers tighten around the pebbles, cutting deep into her skin, she can feel her face getting hot. Her jaw clenches and quivers beneath the tension so hard it feels like it might snap in half. 

She should be crying, Lena thinks to herself. 

It hurts worse than it did when she fell off her scooter in the street last week. But the tears don’t fall. It’s like her brain can’t remember how. 

“Oh… sweetheart, you okay?”

When Lena looks up, she sees the man with the voice crouching down in front of her. He’s wearing big green pants and an orange vest that glows in the dark. They crinkle when he moves– like plastic bags being smushed together. 

“Are you cold?” He asks, holding out a silver square for her. When Lena doesn’t move, he unfolds it and it transforms into some sort of tin-foil sheet. “It’s okay– you can stay there. I’ve just got a blanket in case you’re chilly. Sound good?” 

Lena releases her grip on the pebbles and stares at him. 

Even in the darkness, it’s clear how pale she is. Her face is ghastly and white– it’s as if it’s never seen the sun before.

“My name is Kieran,” the man continues. “I drive that big truck over there with my friends. I’m just here to make sure you’re alright and to give you some help.” 

He waits for a moment then slowly approaches. Kneeling down at Lena’s side, he drapes the blanket over her shoulders. It’s thin and crinkly like an old sheet– laid on so softly it hardly touches her.

Goosebumps are covering her arms and legs. She must’ve been out here all day, he thinks. 

“Here, kiddo… just want to warm you up a bit. We don’t want you catching a cold, do we?”

The blanket is big enough that it wraps around Lena’s front and falls behind her in a bunch. Lena glances at it for a second then looks back at the man. 

Behind him, two other grown-ups are stepping out of the ambulance. They pull out something that looks like a tall bed on wheels with straps going across it. They look at her for a moment and pause, saying something to the other that she can’t quite hear. But they don’t go to her– they walk to the water. To her mom. 

“Hey,” Kieran says when he catches her looking. “Hey… can you tell me your name?”

Slowly, Lena reaches for the blanket, wishing she could pull it tighter. She tells herself to move and tries to remember how her arms used to feel before this morning, when they still knew how to follow directions. But they soon fall beside her, unable to hold the material for more than a second. 

“Were you here with your family?” Kieran asks. “With your mom?” 

Mom. Lena’s stomach twists at the word. It makes her feel like how she gets when she’s been sitting in the car for too long. 

She furrows her brow ever so slightly and the tiniest whine escapes her. Her head is hurting– it feels too tight.

Puzzled, Lena looks at the man. She stares at him with her knit brow and hard eyes, waiting for him to read her mind. 

“You’ve still got your goggles on, hun,” he says. He stays seated on his knee and tilts his head, smiling at her. “Can I take them off? Is that why you’re makin’ noises?”

When Lena doesn’t say anything, he extends his hand slowly towards her face. Vaguely, she can see it approaching. She knows she should flinch. He’s so much bigger than she is. So much bigger than her mom. But she can’t move. 

So she sits stoic as the elastic band pulls the hair that’s dried against it. It peels slowly away from her like a hundred bandaids being removed at once. But after a moment, Lena can feel a pressure around her forehead release. 

“That must feel better, aye?” 

Lena looks straight past Kieran at the other two grown-ups in green pants and orange vests. They’re still walking the stretcher down to the lake, talking to each other in hushed voices, muffled by the wind. They’re going for her mom, she thinks, they’re going to find her. 

“Oh… no, you don’t wanna see that,” Kieran mumbles. 

He catches Lena’s semblance of attention again and this time makes sure to keep it. 

He whisks her up into his arms with a grunt as he stands back up, and keeps her securely wrapped in her blanket. 

“You’re being such a brave girl, you know that?” He coos, settling her on his hip. “You’re so brave.”

He brushes a piece of damp hair out of Lena’s face as he speaks and smiles softly at her. She’s so light in his arms, bundled up in the tin-foil sheet made for someone three times her size. It engulfs her completely– leaving only her head exposed to the world. 

“It’s all gonna be okay, yeah?”

For a second, Kieran looks past her at his partners. They wade into the abyss, water sloshing onto the shore behind them. Through the darkness– it’s hard to see more than the glow of the orange vests growing further and further away. But as they lock the stretcher onto the edge of the shore, he makes sure to bounce Lena ever so slightly to turn her away from it.

“Do you like rhymes?” He asks her. “Or songs?” 

Lena tucks her chin to her chest and releases a long exhale. Her eyes are starting to sting from being held open all day.  

“Why don’t we do some songs?” 

He looks at her pale skin and the few freckles scattered across her nose. Her white chapped lips, cracked around the edges from being left out in the cold for so long, and the bags that hang below her eyes. And as the paramedics go deeper into the water, he watches how she stares directly below her, not looking at anything in particular, and takes in her green eyes. He tries to imagine what might be behind them– the memories of what she’s seen. The moment when her mother went under. The hours of looking and waiting for her to return, all alone in the frigid air, with nothing but a soggy swimsuit and goggles on her forehead.

She must’ve known she wasn’t coming back, he thinks. No kid could stand there for twelve straight hours and not know. 

“Do you like…” 

Kieran pauses for a moment, then starts to sing. 

“Theeeee wheels on the bus go round and round,

round and round,

round and round.” 

He bounces Lena gently to the rhythm as he goes through the lyrics, his words hardly above a whisper. It’s just loud enough that Lena will hear him, just loud enough that she’ll have something else to focus on. 

“The wheels on the bus go round and round,

all through the town.

The wipers on the bus go–” He stops for a moment and gives Lena a poke. “How do they go?” 

She continues to look past him with her empty stare as he fills in for her and rocks her from side to side to show the motion.

“Swish swish swish

 swish swish swish,

The wipers on the bus go swish swish swish,

All through the town.” 

“What comes next?” He asks her. “Is it the babies on the bus? What do the babies on the bus do?”

In the distance– there are red and white lights poking through the trees. The first true signs of another ambulance coming to take back the woman in the lake. Lena’s mother. 

But Kieran keeps going with the song, even when Lena looks away from him. Even when she stares at the lights with more awareness than he’s seen from her all day. He just turns her around again and finds another rhyme, another story, another anything to keep her with him. 

“You’re alright, darlin’,” he says. “It’s all gonna be alright. We’re gonna take you on the truck in a minute and my friends are gonna check you out– make sure you’re not sick. And then you’ll get some stickers and you’ll get to turn on the big lights if you want. But it’s all gonna be okay.”

Lena doesn’t know if she believes him. She wants to. But everything is so wrong. 

“Now… let’s do another song,” Kieran thinks aloud. “That always helps my little girl when she’s feeling scared.”

He adjusts Lena in his arms, takes in a breath, then starts again. 

“Hush little baby don’t say a word,

Papa’s gonna buy you a mockingbird”

No, this isn’t right. 

“And if that mockingbird don’t sing…”

Lena can feel her face getting hot. There’s something sharp in her throat– her belly is twisting again. 

“Papa’s gonna buy you a diamond ring”

Her face is wet now. Silent tears creep from her chapped eyes for the first time all day. They make her cheeks burn with irritation and she wants to rub them– no, she wants her mom to wipe them dry the way she had this morning when Lena bumped her knee jumping off the sofa.

“And if that diamond ring is brass, 

Papa’s gonna buy you a looking glass”

Lena can see herself back at home– sitting in bed with her comforter bunched up around her chest. She can see her eyelids drooping, see her mom’s hand holding hers, trailing her thumb across her wrist, as she sings her to sleep. 

“And if that looking glass gets broke,

Mama’s gonna buy you a billy-goat”

Lena sees it so vividly she can almost feel it. Her fluffy pink pillow beneath her head, her teddy bear tucked under her arm, and her mom kissing her forehead as she allows sleep to gently embrace her. 

This isn’t right, Lena thinks. Her mom is supposed to be here. She’s the one who should be singing. She’s the one who should be holding her. 

Lena’s breathing increases rapidly. She squirms in Kieran’s grasp– she wants to be put down. She wants to go home. She wants her mom. She wants her now.

With a whine, Lena turns her head and tries to wriggle out of his arms. 

But what she sees behind her– it makes her freeze all over again. 

The grown-ups in orange vests are out of the water. They’re wheeling the tall bed back towards the ambulance and there’s a woman on it. Her mom. Her mom is on the bed.

Lena whimpers. It can’t be her mom.

This woman is soaking wet. Her orange hair looks black– it cascades over the side of the stretcher, stringy and thick, all clumped together, dripping onto the beach a thin dark liquid, which leaves a trail behind it. This woman lays there on her back, frozen and still, like she should be sleeping.

But she isn’t. Her eyes are wide open.

Lena makes a noise and tries to lean away from Kieran. Her heart is starting to pound– she can hear it in her ears. Big and loud like a drumline, drowning out the sounds of everything else. 

“Hey– hey, come back to me.” 

The older man’s voice is foggy and distorted. 

Lena sniffs as she leans further. She just doesn’t understand it– how her mom could turn so white and why her lips are so blue. It isn’t right– it isn’t her.

Her mom is supposed to be pretty like a princess. She’s supposed to be gentle. But now, she looks like the monsters Lena’s always been so afraid of. The ones she saw that night on the telly when she was meant to be sleeping and crept into the living room while her mom was watching a movie. She’d caught one glimpse and sprinted right back to bed so they wouldn’t be able to catch her, then hid under the covers, shaking, until she fell asleep. 

Lena sniffs again, whining through her fast-paced cries. 

Her mom is a monster and still, Lena wants to run to her. She wants to throw herself on top of her frigid body and shake her until she wakes up. Until she’s no longer sleeping with her eyes open like she’s frozen in time, paralyzed in the last second of her true existence twelve hours ago. 

Lena wants to hug her. She wants to bring her back to life. She knows she can– she knows if she could just be allowed to try, she could do it. 

So she fights with all she has to once and for all, throw herself right out of Kieran’s arms. She hurls her body forward– determined to run to her Mom one last time. She’s going to get to her. She’s going to fix her. She knows she can– she knows it, she knows it, she knows it. 

But Kieran’s too strong. He pulls Lena back and holds her even tighter, turning his body around again so she can’t see her anymore. 

He says something to her– something that’s supposed to be reassuring. But Lena can’t hear a word. 

Her fast-past cries turn into screams and she opens her mouth as wide as it will go, wailing with all her might. She sobs over Kieran’s attempts to calm her down, kicking her legs with all she has because if she’s hurting– he needs to be hurting too.

It’s gut-wrenching to watch. 

The cold air burns Lena’s throat and sears through her chest. Her cracked lips finally split from being open so angrily and each scream pounds in her temple upon its release. Her body is too tired for such emotion but Lena doesn’t care. None of it matters anymore. Her mom is gone. Her world is gone. 

So Lena does the only thing she can do– she cries. Even when snot bubbles from her nose and trails down onto her lips. Even when drool drips from her mouth, down past her chin. She cries so hard that Kieran thinks she might make herself throw up. He freezes a bit when Lena gasps for air with a heave so intense her entire body lurches upwards. Her shoulders shoot to her ears and her face scrunches up.

But all that follows is an even heavier sob. 

They get heavier and heavier until Lena’s entire body is shaking. Her screams grow raspy and strained– her vocal cords shot from the effort. 

Kieran tries to calm her down. He talks to her and rocks her, tightens her blanket then loosens it again– anything to make her more comfortable. 

But nothing works. Lena is utterly inconsolable. 

Behind them, the woman’s body is loaded into the rig. The crunching sound from earlier returns, only quieter this time, when the ambulance leaves to take her to the morgue.

Kieran tries not to think about what’ll happen afterward. When the autopsy is done and Jane Doe is identified– a social worker will have to decide what should happen to the little girl in his arms. They’ll place her in foster care or if she’s lucky, with a distant relative. Perhaps a grandparent.

At some point, one of his teammates approaches him, holding a small ratty backpack patterned with mermaids. They tap him on the shoulder to catch his attention. 

“We found this over by the benches,” The other paramedic says. She shines a flashlight on the tag on the inside, which is written on in neat cursive. “The name inside says Lena. Think it belongs to her?” 

“Lena…” Kieran says softly, shifting the distraught child in his arms. “Are you Lena?” 

Through her wails, Lena manages a nod. She gasps for air a few more times, her shoulders shooting up with each breath, then lets out a crackled whine.

“Oh, hun, it’s gonna be okay,” Kieran tells her. He rubs her back and tries to smile at her– not allowed to show that he wants to break right there with her. “Let’s get you checked out in the truck.”

[sugar-omi]

Can I request some HC about Cove and cockwarming 👀

omfg yes you can

NSFW, gn reader, step 3 + 4 + DILF ! cove, multiple scenarios, prbly ooc bc dilf!cove is a menance over here ok, prbly ooc step 4 cove too but ion care imma babygirl him ‼️‼️

STEP 3 COVE

you can't expect an 18 year old to be normal or calm abt it

he's all whiny and tense

you're only on his dick long enough to adjust. both of you clinging onto each other and panting, tryna get used to such an intense feeling

you can try teasing him by cockwarming, but it really won't work

begs you to move, uses those big blues to try and sway you

will probably cry if you keep swirling your hips or clenching around him, he can't help but fall over the edge and lose his patience

doesnt matter if you you hold on long enough or are swayed by cove's sweet begging

but now it's your turn for your head to spin because cove thrusts up into you, holding you and hiding his face in your neck

I love the idea of him getting caught up in the moment again and flipping you over on your back and thrusting into you...

makes you finish first because I think he's totally obsessed with watching you finish, especially when you finish around him

STEP 4 COVE

you still can't expect him to be normal

but fuck does he love it

ik I haven't included switch cove n any of the other 2 scenarios (writing this bit last, yes I write backwards)

but I gotta tell you man...

he loves it sm

doesn't matter if it's a strap, loves cockwarming you

mmm, going throughout the day, splitting him open on your cock during different times of the day

please do ask him to stop doing a chore to sit in your lap, he's so weak rn

fuck, come up behind him n just slip in while he's washing dishes, he's in heaven rn

the whole day he's hard, ruined his pants w pre bc he's been in pieces the whole day

by the time you finally fuck him, he's in tears n so happy n pleased

also dies of happiness a bit when you cockwarm him

jfc doing it in the morning. or before bed, while you sleep...

is so turned on by this, sometimes he just can't do it and you'll wake up to cove squirming, apologizing but begging to fuck, begging to cum..

if he makes it through the whole night though... gets the pleasant scene of seeing you on too of him, grinding on his lap n telling him you should hurry up n finish before work<33

fuck imagine teasing him the same way dilf cove does (so spoilers lol)

n having him in your lap or you're in his, and you're tryna watch a show n you're moving your hips..

grinding on him, thrusting up into him..

either way he couldn't hold on, n now you have HIM on the coffee table or laid out on the couch, heart eyes while watching you take him while on top 🫶🫶

he's in love actually

DILF COVE

oh he does it for fun

this is a sport to him

how long can you sit on his cock until you either whine n beg, or you need to get back to the rest of the world

fuck, if you don't have kids or they're grown. he'll do it while you guys sleep<3

anyway🙈

this is almost like a punishment, n like I said, it's entirely for his entertainment n he'll fucking do it while he's watching TV or on the computer

will twist your nipple or rub your sex

kisses your sensitive neck or pushes your hips down

"sorry baby, I was grabbing a pen"

although at some point he'll surprise you by languishingly fucking you. his cock dragging against your walls...

it's so slow n such a tease n it's just enough to keep your stomach burning

omfg cockwarming while he plays a game or watches a show...

you're tryna watch this movie, but you're only half way paying attention if at all because of cove

it's a romance, or some shitty action movie with too many unnecessary sex scenes

every time the characters make out, kissing n groping each other

he's grabbing at you, groping your chest, teasingly stroking your sex, kissing you breathless..

and every sexy scenergy he thrusts up into you, holding your hips down while you cling onto his arms that are wrapped around your waist

either it ends in neither of you cumming, successfully edging yourselves until the end of the movie

or you bent over the coffee table or with your legs up, buried in the corner of the couch as cove works you both through one or two orgasms <33

just the sexual tension alone turns him on, will happily go all day, splitting you on his cock n then going about your day without cumming

fuck, he'll do it before work and then at dinner.. his younger self would've choked and died at just the thought

tells you you look so pretty cumming for him, also tells you some nasty shit like he's so pent up n can't wait to fuck you, can't wait to finish inside you

tells you he's been thinking abt it all day...

pls dilf cove so good n yet so bad for our hearts... 🫣

[matan4il]

We've lost so many people since the last time I could make a news update post, that I find it hard to write about them all. I guess at the very least, I need to write about 38 years old Elad Fingerhut, father of 3, who was murdered by Hezbollah on our Independence Day. He was a civilian, who happened to be nearby when a terrorist rocket attack on Israel's north started, he realized soldiers were hurt, and ran in to help. That's when he was hit directly by a following anti-tank missile fired at the same spot. He was murdered for being a decent human being, willing to help others even under fire.

The IDF has recovered the bodies of 4 Israeli hostages, all of them were murdered on Oct 7 and it was their bodies that the terrorists had kidnapped. The corpses were found thanks to military intel in a tunnel in northern Gaza, next to explosive devices, so Hamas was actually using these bodies as a booby trap to kill Israeli soldiers. I will never understand people stanning an organization capable of murdering innocent civilians, and then using their bodies like that. The four hostages were Shani Louk, Ron Benjamin, Itzhak Gelerenter, and Amit Buskila. As far as I'm aware, only Shani was confirmed as murdered on Oct 7 before this operation, so bringing the bodies back allows, in addition to proper burial of the murdered, for the families to finally know what happened to their loved ones, get to mourn, and hopefully start processing, and eventually, healing. As for Shani herself? Just a small reminder that on Oct 7 itself a vid was published, showing her body stripped down, leg broken, tossed into the back of a truck, guarded by armed terrorists, with a random Gazan teenager was spitting on her violated corpse, and after that, a Gaza "journalist" called her family to lie to them and claim Shani's alive, just injured, and being treated in a hospital for her wound. If that's not enough, a Gaza "photojournalist" won an award for taking a picture showing the Hamas terrorists riding the truck on top of her. Now her family can finally find comfort in knowing their kid is at rest.

There are at this time 128 hostages in Gaza still, at least 39 are believed to be bodies. This includes two Thai men who were kidnapped from Israel, for whom there is now evidence that they were murdered on Oct 7, and their corpses are held hostage.

May the memory of all Palestinian terrorists' victims be a blessing.

I assume everyone knows already that the (undemocratically elected) president of Iran, Ibrahim Raisi, known as "the butcher of Tehran," has been killed in a helicopter crash. What people may not be aware of is that the UN has actually observed a moment of silence for the man who personally oversaw the murder of countless innocent Iranians, many of them as part of the Islamic regime's gender-targeted violence, and who, as part of the regime, was responsible for many more deaths of people around the world, including financing Hamas and so enabling the Oct 7 massacre. In fact, the UN secretary general has extended personal condolences to the people and government of Iran for Raisi's death, as per his official statement. Here's what the UN's one tweet about it looks like:

(I'm not surprised that the top comment is an angry one from a Ukrainian woman, since the Iranian regime does supply Russia with attack drones and missiles)

Meanwhile, do you know how long it took the UN to officially discuss for the first time the hostages abducted from Israel on Oct 7, as part of a massacre enabled by Iran? Seven and a half months (discussion held on May 16, five days ago). But sure, the UN isn't biased at all, and is totally reliable and a force for peace. Please keep this in mind as the UN's judicial arms, the ICJ and ICC, continue to make a mockery of justice and the idea of international humanitarian law. Hey, did you know that the ICC's chief prosecutor never asked for arrest warrants against Raisi?

Meanwhile, around the world, antisemitism has only been intensifying. Some recent incidents include an Israeli father living in Belgium being attack by an anti-Israel mob in front of his visiting daughter, in France they burned down a synagogue (great how I couldn't find a single headline where the synagogue attack was mentioned before the fate of the attacker following it), in Sweden there were shots fired near the Israeli embassy, and in NYC a man randomly stopped his bike by a group of religious Jewish kids playing on the street and physically attacked them...

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[ghostgirl-22]

You may find yourself

18+ !NSFW!

Day 4: Two prompts in one 😊

SFW: Interview

NSFW: Strap on

___________________________

A year ago, Patrick would have never imagined staying up to watch Art on the Late Late Show deflecting questions about their relationship; but ever since they hugged each other at the challenger and that photo went viral, their life has been under a microscope. Clearly Art winning the US Open for the first time wasn’t as important as: Did you see Patrick Zweig sitting next to Art’s sister at the Open?

Even people who don’t give a fuck about tennis are invested in them for some reason. Half the world is convinced that he and Art are having a secret affair and that Tashi is just his beard.

“Which is ridiculous actually,” Art smiles at the host, shrugging it off. “I wish my life was that interesting. But the truth is me and Tashi… we’re very boring. I mean we’re usually pretty private. Obviously, the press and stuff comes with the job but on a regular day we’re doing our jobs and raising our daughter. And Patrick is…he’s just an old friend. We lost touch and now we’re just making up for lost time.”

Patrick is lying in Tashi and Arts bed sharing a bowl of ice cream with Tashi. “He’s such a good liar, right?” Patrick says.

”It’s not that far from the truth,” she says, glancing back at him with a smirk.

“So what I’m hearing is he’s an old friend that you only kiss sometimes?” The host asks, the audience laughs and Art smiles going along with it.

“Only when he’s nice to me,” Art says. The audience cheers and whoops like he’s confirming something and Art shakes his head smiling.

“Now that’s gonna be the headline,” the host laughs.

“I know, exactly,” Art says, grinning. “Art Donaldson finally admits...”

“He’s cute,” Patrick says, sucking on his spoon and gazing at her. Something about watching Art pretend they’re a boring couple is turning him on. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s wearing his t-shirt and panties and nothing else. Her pretty hair is clipped up loosely. “We should’ve gone to LA.” He says.

“He’ll be back tomorrow,” Tashi says pointedly.

“You think this is live?”

“I mean there’s a thirty second delay, but yes it’s live.”

Patrick grabs her spoon. “what—?” she snaps at him as he takes the bowl too and puts it on the nightstand.

“Maybe we should fuck again?”

“Are you serious?” She says, incredulous. “You’re hard again? It’s been five fucking minutes.”

“Yeah,” Patrick says distractedly, pulling open her nightstand for a condom.

“No, Patrick, wait!” She calls, diving over his lap to try and stop him from opening it, but it’s too late.

Her shirts riding up as she reaches over him and he’d be more distracted by her white lacy panties if he hadn’t just found their little treasure trove of sex toys. An open box, clearly accessed recently or he wouldn’t have seen it. It’s full of vibrators, lube, beads, handcuffs, etcetera etcetera.

“All we do is work and take care of our daughter.” Patrick mimics Arts television voice. “Such a liar, you’re both so fucking horny,” He grins moving her away so he can lift the box out completely.

Tashi settles back on the bed but hits his arm, mildly annoyed.

“This is actually fucking incredible,” he teases as he examines the contents.

“We went through a phase,” Tashi mutters as he lifts out a magic wand thingy. He presses the button. It starts vibrating and he holds it out to her like a microphone.

“Could you speak up please?”

“I hate you,” Tashi says, pushing his arm away.

Patrick laughs and shuts it off before droppping it back in the box. “Holy shit, please tell me you fucked him,” he exclaims, lifting out what’s clearly a strap on.

She shrugs. “Look nothing was working, okay. He was depressed and I knew I had to try something…that…that….”

“Did he come?”

She bites her lip. “No… but…I mean… he got hard.”

Patrick smirks and grips the fake cock. “You should fuck me.”

“Patrick,” She rolls her eyes but she’s so easy to read. He knows he’s had her since the moment he took the ice cream away.

“Come on,” he says, pulling at her t-shirt. “Fuck my brains out.”

“You’re such a freak,” She whispers but she grabs the strap on from him.

“Says the freak with handcuffs in their nightstand,” he smirks.

“It came with the set. You really think I’d buy furry handcuffs?”

“No, you’re right, you’d just tie him up.”

She sits up on the bed and straddles Patrick. “Jesus, you really are hard,” she says softly. “Help me put it on.”

He lifts her t-shirt so her little lace panties are visible. She’s so god damn beautiful he wonders how she’s surprised his dick is hard. He’s always at least half hard in her presence, he’d be more impressed if he could keep it down. He helps her buckle the straps.

It’s so intimate he almost ends up just fucking her instead but somehow they recover enough for him to watch her play with it. She’s kneeling over him. Rubbing it like she’s jerking off. “What do you think?” She giggles, the shorter strands of her hair falling into her eyes.

“I don’t buy it,” he says.

“Why?” She asks, just like the girl who’s used to getting straight A’s.

“You’re not selling the feeling. It’s supposed to feel good,” he says, gripping it.

“Mm, What about now?” She says, moaning as he jerks it, pushing hair out of her face only for it to fall back again.

He smiles, putting his other hand behind his head. “Yeah, like that. Fucking come all over me.”

She giggles again, a little breathless, he’s not sure how much longer he can do this with her without penetration.

Apparently she feels the same way. “Can you put lube on my big dick?” She asks.

He wants to laugh. He bites it back so she won’t yell at him but she hits him, anyway. “Shut up,” she says, grinning. “Act like I’m him.”

Patrick opens his mouth and then closes it again. He reaches into the box for the lube and rubs it over the toy.

“You should take that shirt off.” He tells her.

“Shh, turn around,” she tells him. “On your hands and knees.”

He sits up and kisses her before doing what she asks. She rubs his ass through his boxers. Something he does to her often and he smiles. Art’s not on the tv anymore, he can hear the host interviewing some singer he’s never heard of. That’s okay, he can still tell him that they fucked while he was talking about them.

“It’s gonna feel good,” Tashi says softly, taking his boxers down.

“Don’t come inside, I’m not on the pill,” he tells her.

She smacks his bare ass and there’s just enough sting there for him to like it. “You're so stupid,” she says quietly as she eases it inside.

”Mm and you love it,” he replies. It actually feels… kinda nice. He relaxes into it.

“You like this don’t you?” Tashi breathes.

“Mmhm,” he hums.

“I wish I could fuck you all the time,” she says.

”So fuck me all the time then,” he sighs as she slides it in and out.

“Does it feel like this when Art does it?”

Patrick smiles, his stomach tightens, his breathing is picking up. “Mm too gentle.”

“Really? He’s not gentle?”

“Sometimes, when he’s in his head.”

She picks up her pace and he groans, “How about now?” She asks, “still too gentle?”

”I can take more,” he says.

“Of course you fucking can, you’re such a slut for me,” she says. If he was in his right mind he would laugh but she’s found the perfect spot. This glorious aching white hot pleasure races through his body on almost every thrust, he wants to hold her there but he pushes back on her instead and she’s a genius so she picks up the pace. She’s so relentless by the end he’s practically begging her for it. He ends up coming untouched on the sheets. He collapses and rolls over, breathless as she crawls on top of him.

“Do you like it?” She asks. She’s a little bit of a mess and he pulls her closer for a kiss.

“Yes, fucking yes,” he tells her, undoing one of the straps of her fake dick. “A fucking plus.”

He unclips the other strap and pulls it off, before easing his fingers into her panties. She’s so wet he needs to take his fingers out again and taste them.

She rests her head against his chest while he finger fucks her. It’s easy, she was already halfway there while she was fucking him.

“Patrick,” she sighs, sleepily after a minute.

“Yeah?”

“I think my dick is bigger than yours,” she whispers.

Patrick smirks. “And he said you guys were boring.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Thailand surprised me

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 1

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 eps - I love love love Sol! Pink-haired baby idol blast from the past nursing a crush = absolute catnip for me. This is def my favorite Thai BL currently airing. And it’s probably because it has a sort of odd queer authenticity to both its gayness and its rep of the film industry. I mean, of course it’s sanitized into BL fantasy-landia, but there’s an underpinning of something real, for lack of a better word. Normally I prefer the fantasy of my dumb BL worldview, but in this one I’m kind of liking a little chew and grit.

All of which is to say: this is very fucked up messy gay, which normally I’m not wild about, but for some reason I’m really enjoying this version.

On the other side of the BL coin we have:

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 1 of 12 - And I like it a lot. It’s fun and I’m enjoying it (possibly more than it deserves). I like how it’s a little absurdist. I like that it starts with a one night stand. I like all of the side characters. I love the asexual representation. Bonus LUBE! It’s a fun show. More FUN that GMMTV usually goes for.  

Two Worlds (Thurs iQIYI) ep 8 of 10 - The sketching in the cave scene was v sexy. And I’m enjoying this BL, but not for any other reason than MaxNat being MaxNatty all over my screen. 

1000 Years Old (Thurs iQIYI) ep 12fin - I don’t know what I feel about this one. Mostly just indifferent. It was meant to be the paranormal Thai BL pulp about vampires that we were all waiting for, and it ended up just being boring. Frankly, I'd rather be pissed off than bored. 6/10

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - I truly love the naked lust on our side couple's pining friend's face. Usually only Japan get this thirsty.

Book is perfectly cast as Moo's older bro. They even look a bit alike but it might have been a mistake, because he’s so damn charismatic. Stole all the breath from the show for a bit. 

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 5 of 16 - No report until next week. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 11 of 12 - What a fantastic ep. This show really is killing it. I’m so happy with Taiwan right now. 

Carry on.

Blue Boys (Korea YouTube) 3 of ? - It remains lovely and I remain enjoying it immensely. It’s very Strongberry feeling. That's always a welcome sensation.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - They are so cute and pretty much just boyfriends already regardless of what they each think. I'm scared that next week is the final episode, it doesn’t feel like it’s gone very far.

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - I liked it a little better this week. I guess I’m warming up to this one?

Boys Be Brave AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) ep 3-4 of 8 - Ah poor lonely neglected child. They are all such weirdos. I don’t understand any of these characters or their motivations except they are strange kind of cartoons of... something.

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 9-10 of 12 - The guy who plays the vet should be playing a vampire. That's it. That's all I have to say. 

It's airing but...

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - 6 eps, when it's done, tell me if I should bother?

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - supposed to have started on Friday but I couldn't find it, I also didn't try very hard.

In case you missed it

GMMTV announced the second half of their 2024 line up. I got excited and picked my favorites, details + trailers here.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

May Releases

5/10 A Balloon's Landing (Taiwan movie) trailer - A frustrated Hong Kong writer, Tian Yu, meets a Taipei street gangster, Xiang (Fandy Fan from HIStory2: Crossing the Line), and the two of them embark on a journey to find the Bay of Vanishing Whales. Along the way, they discover unexpected twists and turns and close bonds, which brings out the message that "there is always someone like you in this world who is waiting for you.

5/16 Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - Strongberry doing classic BL! Weeee!

5/19 OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 1 of 10 - LeeFrank are back - not unlike the undead (as it were). But how do we feel about it? Unsure given their track record.

5/25 The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer - HoTae & DongHee are back but unfortunately not in a cinema near me. Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS.

5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer

5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love a shrimp peeling moment in my Thai BL. (Only Boo)

Unquestionably the best moment in BL this year. FIGHT ME. (Unknown)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[yourclumsyguardianangel]

the seven + a few others future headcanons

percy:

becomes a high school teacher

teaches high school marine biology (idk how it is in other schools but when we hit sophomore year we got to choose different bio classes ie: marine bio, ag bio, med bio + regular bio)

also teaches the mythology elective and is the swim team coach

annabeth:

we already know this queen is an architect with obvious inspiration from greek architecture

learns how to make blue food for percy and their kids from sally

has traveled all over the world looking at different architecture

learns the basics of many languages so shes able to communicate with the locals

her and leo team up to build a small school near camp half-blood for year rounders so everyone can learn consistently but dw they get summers off

piper:

love her but shes a nepo baby

she doesnt act like it tho

”are you tristan mcleans daughter?” “who?”

loves her dad to bits but does not like being seen out in public by the paparazzi

marries shel, they dont have kids tho, neither of them want to bring any into the world especially with america’s downfall and the government erasing women and poc rights

is basically leos big sister atp

leo:

him and calypso dont last, maybe a year and a half in they split bc calypso wants to explore the world and leo is very emotionally unstable and calypso has a hard time understanding

they end on good terms but dont ever talk unless its with a group of friends

he goes into a trade to become a mechanic and owns his own shop

starts smoking cigarettes/vaping

his friends dont really approve but they understand he cant quit just yet as hes not in a mental space to do so

goes to therapy with a psychologist whos a demigod that specializes in grieving and war trauma

they all go to therapy but hes the last one to do it

he’s still the ‘happy go lucky’ guy hes always been but as he gets closer w the others they start to see the true sadness in him

piper and him grow a lot closer after jason died and have a big sister little brother relationship

hazel:

my girl stays at camp jupiter

takes nicos place at camp

horse trainer

her and frank also dont work out as a romantic relationship, they felt that the age gap was too much after frank turned 18 and hazel was 15 theyre still friends tho

hazel often visits leo in his shop

as much as leo reminds her of sammy, through therapy she has recognized that theyre separate people and to not push all her past feelings for sammy onto leo

not only does she train horses but she also teaches little kids basic math, science, and history to the younger kids

they all call her ms. hazel

she prefers to teach the really young kids (age 4-7)

wears her hair in different braid styles after BOO

frank:

my friggin HOMIE

i relate to frank a lot personality wise

therefore i think hed be a 4/20 fanatic after BOO

hes not stoned during training or during important camp duties

but otherwise you try talkin to him and you dont really notice until you look and see the far off look and red eyes and he just goes “huh?”

other than that hes a great leader

after he gets his cool new look from mars he takes really good care of his body including consistent exercise and eating really healthily (maybe he has a soft spot for fast food when hes hi)

him joining the military does not make sense to me

he lost his mom to war, and he was in one himself, idk about you but i would not wanna join the military after being the main character in a war

he studies to be a veterinarian for exotic animals

when no one is around he shifts into the animal to find out whats wrong

”dr. zhang prefers to work by himself” “why” “idk but hes always right, if it aint broke dont fix it”

jason:

rip home-slice

nico:

my other homie

my guy does not get taller than 5’8

stays at camp during the summer to train the new and old kids

him and will get a house together

teaches history at the camp school

cat dad (5 cats and counting)

will:

takes nicos last name when they marry bc its cooler

him being a doctor doesnt click w me i more picture him being an EMT

EMTs are hotter anyways

does med training with new apollo kids whenever he gets time

if he’s not busy during working hours he drops by nicos classroom w his fav drink from dutch bros (starbucks is MID) and hangs out with him and his students

[maxrowave]

GENDERBEND RAHHHHHH

i love drarry and i love women so put it together and you get this, i present to you: Harphine

Harry is consequently now named Harley; Draco is also now named Delphine (Full name Delphinus Lucius Malfoy, however asks to be referred to as Delphine because it's pretty). I decided to keep everyone else the same because the world centres around them. Delphine is the ultimate coquette girl, lana del rey wishes she could be as coquette as her. Mega popular girl and a trendsetter, one day she wears a headband to school, the next day, half the female students are as well. Extreme closet gay, internalised homophobia...

Harley on the other hand is a major tom-boy, as a toddler and young childhood she probably had a buzzcut or short hair because her hair was too much maintenance for the Dursley's. She also wore Dudley's old clothes so she was mistaken for a boy for most of her young life, she only began to grow it out when she started attending Hogwarts and got a major glow-up in third year. and now the multitude of headcanons: 1) Delphine resorts to flirting to get her way with male students, however it is only by accident does Harley discover Delphine is prudent when she flirts with her. Delphine immediately goes red, sputtering incoherently:

"MY FATHER WILL HEAR OF THIS!!!" "good, I'm glad he knows about me so it won’t be as awkward to meet him when I'm over for dinner"

Harley uses this to her advantage and begins to spread rumours about Delphine to finally get back at her for all these years 'Pure Blood Delphine Malfoy, sole heir, is a homosexual?!' It gets out of hand and Delphine's rep gets ruined or somethin

2) Harley is a bit of an artist, she likes drawing/doodling. One day she's sitting in potions class, not listening because fuck that, idly drawing on her parchment without much thought, only for her to realise that hey... this kind of looks like Delphine, and then realising she's just been drawing Delphine in various sitting poses for the past half an hour.

3) Even though Harley really hates Delphine, she has to admit, she's really fucking gorgeous, and in an odd way Harley kind of admires how put together she is. Harley does try to imitate her makeup one day because she wants to know how it feels to be pretty/put together, it turns out shite, Ron laughs at her, Harley beats him up; Delphine also laughs at her. But when they do become good friends, like fifth year or so, Delphine does do her makeup (imagine that one img of the girl on top of the other doing her eyeshadow, that's them).

3.5) Slight extension from the previous one, I mentioned this on my xwitter awhile back -- Harry purposely messes up his tie so Draco can fix it, because Draco's love language is to clean up people, i.e brushing lint off their shoulder, adjusting their collar, kind of like a cat. In this genderbent au, Harley messes up her lipstick everytime so Delphine can redo it.

4) Delphine is a massive closeted lesbian, and is pining for Harley in her own odd way. When they begin to get close, Delphine instictually reels back, because she's used to playing hard-to-get with other guys as a flirting method. She doesn't quite register that it doesn't work with girls, which leaves Harley wondering what she did wrong and why Delphine isn't as interested.

5) When they do finally get into a relationship, most likely like sixth/seventh year, it's very low-key and secretive because Delphine still has internalised homophobia/closeted. But Lucius ends up arranging her marriage because she's an only child and a female to the Malfoy name. What happens next is idk

6) Lucius either dotes on Delphine like a child who is in constant need of being helped and cannot be independent, or never speaks to her ever because he's disappointed he has a daughter.

OKAY THATS IT, I HAVE MORE HEADCANONS THAT I WILL POUR IF ENOUGH ASK FOR IT LOL... i wanna see if I can make Harphine their genderbend ship name, it's cute

also boobs bc im gay and so are they

[illusoriess]

lestappen fic recs: an (ongoing) masterlist

here it finally is! because i promised!! a hopefully ongoing collection of my favorite lestappen fics, all on ao3.

LONG FICS (over 35k words)

Long Live (The Walls We Crashed Through) by Fabby | Explicit | 80.7k words

“What are you doing?” Charles asked, his voice cracking. Max blinked at him once before he smirked and said, “Well... I was going to kiss you.” “Why?” “Because I want to.” “Why?” Charles repeated, feeling like his legs were going to give out. “Is that not a good enough reason?” Max asked. OR: The childhood best friends to lovers fairy-tale-soulmates fic that nobody asked for. Charles has been in love with Max since he was seven years old.

I'm sure this one can go without saying since you all have probably read it, but it's a classic, and I'm including it on pure principle. This fic has it all.

2. Yours by loquarocoeur | Explicit | 53.9k words

Charles looks much too satisfied as Max leans back against the door, one eyebrow tugging up as he asks, “Do you want to fight?” “Of course I want to fight.” Charles only looks slightly amused. “Then fight.” "Stop fucking telling me what to do!" Max yells. Charles cocks his head. "What, because it turns you on?" Alternatively: Max doesn't want to like Charles, but Charles makes that really fucking difficult sometimes

To Bottom Max enjoyers, this will become your Bible if you haven't read it already. To tentative Max Bottom explorers, you will love this fic even if you never read Bottom Max again. But it might change your brain chemistry, so be careful.

3. half of a heaven by weiwuxian | Explicit | 38.9k words

“Good evening. I’m Charles,” he offers his hand, which Max takes and for a second, Charles thinks he’s going to kiss the back of it. Some muscle spasms in the tight grip, rough velvet against soft skin. When Charles gets his hand back, it feels like he lost a finger or two in the fight. “What’s your poison, Charles?” Max asks, settling on the barstool like it’s not designed to be the most uncomfortable chair in the world. “Cyanide, usually. I’ll settle for a gin tonic for now.” or: Charles is a supermodel that has learned everything he needs to make his world turn. Now, he has no idea what Max Verstappen wants from him.

charles' black cat energy is strong in this fic. and man's laden with issues. he's an eccentric supermodel and max is an f1 driver and big ol' simp. once again they're dumb, but they're lestappen, come on. fork found in kitchen.

4. give me that fire by Lady_Something | Explicit | 39.8k words

“Can you work with him?” Max has to take two drags of his cigarette before he can answer, and even then all he says is, “He knew I was the head chef, didn’t he.” Charles has to have known. Even if the news hadn’t reached him that Max had taken over as the head chef of Taureau Rouge, he would not have travelled all the way from Paris to London for an interview at a restaurant without knowing who he’d be working under. Still, Charles was the one who broke up with him. Max has to know, for sure. “He knows,” Christian confirms softly. “He outright laughed at me when I called and asked him to come work at one of my restaurants. It was only after I said it was Taureau Rouge, working with you, that he agreed to come.” Fuck. Fuck. Max could’ve gone his whole life without knowing that. He probably fucking should have, because how is he supposed to be normal about it? // Max and Charles have history, but it doesn't stop Charles from coming to work as Max's new sous chef. It does mean that everything changes for them both in the space of a single week.

Chef aus seem to be a trend in the f1 ficdom and I eat that shit up every time. This fic is no exception. Anyways they're so messy and flawed, it's beautiful

5. unwritten by NovaCloud | Teen and Up | 37.6k words

Reach for your dreams. Charles is trying, but it’s fucking hard. Falling in love with Max wasn’t part of his plans. Running away is easier, at least that way he won’t get hurt. Right? - Letting out a breathy laugh Charles shakes his head. He puts down the little shot glass and turns to Max, staring at him. “You spent my yearly pay check on me?" “I spent it on charity,” Max corrects him with a slight smirk as he casually leans against the bar. Charles wants to kiss it off his face. “I’m very concerned with wildlife conservation.” Charles snorts. “It’s for biodiversity.” “And that too, of course.” "You're insane, you know that?"

As someone in journalism I had to suspend my disbelief at some parts but that's honestly part of the charm tbh. Just silly, dramatic, fun, and cute. Plus billionaire Max is... yeah.

MEDIUM FICS (15k - 35k words)

straight lines (that unwind you) by 140445 | Explicit | 16.3k words

“Do you know him?” Arthur asks. “No,” Charles decides. Because he does not. He knows Max is a mathematics major, and that he plays chess. And that he hits the gym. And what he looks like when he comes. Details.

The tag "meet-cute but it's a meet-disaster" is used, which is accurate. A good mix of comedy but also heart-wrenching... sweetness? romance? they're both extremely stupid and extremely lestappen and it's just amazing. and great smut ofc.

2. home (is wherever I'm with you) by actparci | Not Rated | 17.9k

On the drive back to the hotel Max had turned to him, blue eyes fierce and piercing. “Promise me you won’t stop being angry. You’re angry because you know what you can do. Use it, control it, let it fuel you. Other people won’t understand but that doesn’t matter, you know what you’re capable of.” You and me, he’d seemed to say, we’re the same. Charles wonders now how he ever thought Max wouldn’t understand. Or: Charles leaves Ferrari, tries to win a championship, and learns some things about belonging. All the while, Max is there.

Another one you've all probably read. If I were to describe this fic in one word, it's "cathartic". Who needs therapy when you have Charles Fix It Fics???

3. kitty conundrum by linearity | Explicit | 18k words

Charles shows up to Monaco with kitty ears and a tail. Max is totally normal about it.

spoiler alert: he's not normal about it. thanks to some magical realism you get this almost-omegaverse-but-not-quite fic, and lestappen are just two horny idiots.

4. friday night; i'm in love by autumnapricot | General Audiences | 21k words

Charles hates Max. Well, not really—hate is probably far too big of a word for it. Max annoys Charles. Well, not really either, because Max doesn’t, like, do anything purposely to annoy Charles or goes out of his way or acts with ill intention, or whatever. At least he pretends like he doesn’t, so. Charles is annoyed by Max. Yes, that’s more like it. [Or—Max and Charles work together in an office, eight hours a day, five times a week. Strangely enough, it’s friday nights that bring them closer.]

They're so silly and sweet in this fic and I was endlessly endeared reading it. I'm a bitch for an office au, especially when it involves a ridiculous one-sided rivals to lovers.

5. even the sun sets in paradise by PrincessElectra | Teen and Up | 27.7k words

If he had to name the place where the story of Max and Charles began, if there was a moment that divided them into Before and After, there would be a few candidates. But there was only one correct answer. He would never forget the name. The place is called Val d’Argenton. Stories are still being written there. Charles likes to tell the story of the incident - turn by turn, infused with poetic drama, detailing every single emotion: frustration, anger, pure spite. Every time he tells it, his smile grows along with the laughter in his eyes, even as his words recount a tale of opposing emotions. “I never want to go back to Val d’Argenton,” Charles once confessed. “We’ll never go back there,” he promised, and Charles knew what he meant.

This fic is... everything <3 The hurt/comfort is just done so well; it gives meaning to the phrase "in sickness and in health." Their love is just written so beautifully.

SHORT FICS (under 15k words)

Cheating at Bingo and Other Christmas Traditions by WanderingBlindly | General Audiences | 12.4k words

"You know, there’s a very nice, very handsome young man in my neighborhood –” She starts back up, flagging down their waiter for another glass of wine. “Absolutely not,” He cuts her off with a dismissive wave of the hand. “Next topic.” “So you’re too good for him, is that it?” She sounds defensive, but her tone still has a mocking edge to it – emphasized by the quirk of her brows. Hardly holding back a groan, Charles tries to think of a way out of this. She’s like a cat, batting at him until he gives up, rolls over, and plays dead. “That’s not – I’m just busy, and it’s –” Or: Hallmark style fluff featuring an irritated Charles, a well-meaning Max, and the grandma that just wants them to kiss

Short and sweet, just pure fluff and Christmas joy. If you just want to read something nice and also pretend like it's Christmas in July, then this is the fic for you.

2. Clothes by Anonymous | Mature | 2.6k words

5 times Charles steals Max's clothes and the 1 time Max rips his clothes off of him.

cute domestic lestappen. they're adorable. that's all <3

3. Saturdays by NerdHerder12 | Teen and Up | 3.1k words

On Saturdays, Max visits Charles.

Proceed with caution. I feel physically ill after reading this fic and I really only read it when I want to hurt my own feelings. But it's so good.

4. And That's How I Foksmashed Dad's Championship Trophy by PrincessElectra | Teen and Up | 6.5k words

All of that would have been forgivable if not for the Green-Eyed Monster’s complete disregard for the pre-contracted occupation rights of Max’s lap. Such rights had long been pre-determined and belonged to Sassy (and occasionally to Jimmy, she admitted begrudgingly). However, no amount of quiet hisses and vicious glares seemed to penetrate the creature’s thick skull, and he would greedily occupy Max’s thigh for more than 95% of any given afternoon. Sometimes with his head, sometimes with his feet, and a few times he even straddled his entire body over Max; the latter could not have been comfortable for Max, as the Green-Eyed Monster was enormously overweight compared to Sassy. (Jimmy had insisted that it was not nice to shame another living creature about their weight, but she was not wrong. With her compact size and considerably more reasonable mass, Sassy was confident that she was much more comfortable for Max to have on his lap than that horrendously oversized creature.)

Another hit by PrincessElectra. The beauty of this fic is how hilarious but also fluffy it manages to be. Sassy needs to narrate all future lestappen fics, I don't make the rules

[chuuyasfanboy]

Just had some random thoughts so pulled up an old blog I never used and am now deciding to write fics! I've had this stuck in my head for two days now but like- Skk as parents... enjoy <3

Wrote three sections! One with Chuuya, one with Dazai, and ofc them together. It can be read from either adopted or blood perspective, I hope? Kind of scattered, I was just goin for it guys

Iffff you liked this, please req something! I'm having major bsd brainrot and I need ideas...

Soukoku as Parents Platonic x Gn!Child!Reader

┌──────┐

└──────┘

The SILLIEST father EVER guys.

For actual years he was fully under the impression he HATED all kids with a passion. I mean guys look at how badly he treated Aku-

Well then he had you and things changed

It's just something about you being his kid, not a subordinate or random kid on the street

He's your dedicated apologist

In fact, he encourages your mischief!

When you were younger, it was a lot harder to handle you. He even found himself on his last fuse sometimes. Usually, he left Atsushi or Yosano to deal with you

He didn't want to revert to old habits and accidentally traumatize you :(

When he can handle himself, though, he's only halfway controlling you-

He's right along with you in the heinous activities half of the time

Hiding Ranpo's candy (for as long as it lasts), misplacing Kunikida's glasses, hell you two have probably snuck into the infirmary and changed the sheets to something very colorful and very childishly wolf themed...

He's not really a mature dad, nonono. But he's doing his best

He fully supports all of your wildest interests, even tries out some of the more entertaining ones

He struggles to act excited when you're younger and all your interests are very out of his range, but as you grow older he's actually a bit intrigued by them sometimes

Best birthday gift ideas, too. He's very creative when he wants to be.

He also has way more money than he should be ALLOWED to have

For your Sweet Sixteen, he most definitely got you an obsessively large custom pinata of your favorite character...

He makes sure EVERYBODY gets you gifts, because you are his world and thus you must be everybody else's as well

He really does try to keep you out of work, and especially away from his suicide biz

Maybe HE doesnt have a reason to live, but he certainly doesnt want you picking up those thoughts, because he knows you have a real big destiny to live up to someday

I mean, what would the world be without you?

When you hit the age of 13 though, its really hard to hide anything from you

You're so scary when you grow up! And you're way too smart!!4

Did you get that from him? oops...

Now, he doesnt have any plans of living that long, but if you do grow big and strong and smart one day, and you join the ADA, he's definitely got some favoritism.

Surprisingly, Fukuzawa actually gives you your first few proper missions with him

(Because he knows Dazai will not be letting any harm come to you, he trusts Dazai with his life and he knows you trust Dazai even more)

If you have different plans for adulthood though, he's still so supportive

If you go to uni, you're going to have to show him off

Why?

Because, guys, he's a dilf

Nobody's gonna be mean to the kid with a dilf father, they all want him

He jokes about it constantly

But rest assured, stupid and immature uni kids are NOT his type, no matter how nice the ones his age look

He's got his eyes set on that waitress and at least four other men at the moment

If you go straight into the workplace instead of uni, he's going to use his connections to get you a good job early!

Fukuzawa has a good way with words and Dazai himself is a pretty good reference contact

Just tell them he's your teacher, or something

It's not like they'll know his hobbies, he's wayyyy too big a mystery for that

Overall: 7/10 dad

A little rough around the edges, but he's trying hard to improve himself for you

And he's trying hard to give you the best life he can offer

┌──────┐

└──────┘

Did I say Dazai was a dilf?

I lied out of my ass.

Chuuya is the real dilf here

But we'll get to that later! (Just know he has plenty of men and women at his feet and they're definitely being way too nice to you because they want him so bad guys)

You're SO SO SO SO spoiled.

UNREASONABLY so

So bad you might even be a little bit of a brat growing up

It's fine, not toward him, he almost never says no to you so theres no need

There's absolutely no amount of money that can't be spent on you.

Luxury clothes, professionally cooked dinners, fancy rooms, home staff, the whole works

Despite all that though, he's insistent you go to a public/private school

He's not tutoring you, wont even hire one

It's not because he CAN'T, it's because he KNOWS how important it is for you to get your sense of independence early

Sure, you'll always have financial support, even if he dies (Trust fund babyyyyy)

But thats not what's actually important to your future

You need social skills, you need friends, you need and education and the taste of disappointment

Dont worry, though, he's not sending you unprepared

You're not eating school lunches unless you want to (but fuck why would you?)

He's sending you to school with top notch food every day

And clothes

And supplies

Plus, you'll have a tutor at the ready for anything you need a little extra help in

But for the most part he keeps as far as he can out of that section of your life

You friends are yours, not his

He's polite when they have sleepovers, and he's more than willing to host parties and hangouts

But he doesn't try too hard to impress them, and he doesn't talk to them unless its related to you

Because as much as he loves being around kids (a real big father he wants to adopt everybody he sees)

He doesn't want to impose on any boundaries YOU may have

As a side note though, he's still very observant of your relationships with them

If he overhears any manipulation, or shit talking (about you or not), he's not going to let it sit and exist

If it comes to it, he will contact the parents (And holy fuck they are TERRIFIED i mean imagine a publicly known MAFIA EXECUTIVE contacting you to tell your kid fucked with his ABSOLUTELY NOT GUYS)

If you're into any extracurriculars, he is ALWAYS there

Even if he's overseas on a mission, he has some lower rank attend and clears his schedule so he can watch through a call

Also guys, he practically funds your school?

Your teachers are terrified to cross you because if they do there will be NO SALARY

You complain about anything that happened? He's fixing it up in any way he can

You are his ANGEL, NOTHING will ruin your day as long as he can prevent it.

When you grow up, your options are very clear in his eyes

Either you go to uni and live independent of the mafia, or you inherit his spot when he dies

If you go for neither, he may be a bit shocked, but he'll hesitantly step back

He'll see how it goes, but he's not very confident at first

If it goes well? Fuck, great! He's always in your corner rooting for you

If it doesn't go so well, you always have him as a backup

He'll always be there to take you back with open arms and give you a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc chance. Always

If you do join the mafia, there will be no low rank experience for you

You're straight to the upper ranks. At first, you'll probably be in a position similar to Akutagawa under Dazai or how he was under Koyo

Direct subordinate, his apprentice, his prodigy

And when he dies, you're next in line for his exec spot

There's not even a worry about your skillset, he knows he's trained you well, ability or no ability.

Finally, back to the dilf topic I've mentioned at the beginning

If you go to uni, he has the same problem Dazai had, but WORSE

Fuck guys, he swears he tries to keep out of your friendships, but suddenly everyone's adults and they wont leave him alone.

It's at this point he stops hosting your events (except birthdays) and separates himself

No way is he getting involved with crazy college kids, no way

Overall: 9/10 father

He's a bit absent in your social circle, but he's your dad and thats that

He screams support from the stands and that's really the best you can ask for in a dad <3

┌──────┐

└──────┘

theyre so pathetic together-

theyre all the entertainment you need growing up

constant bickering (lovingly)

they dont involve you in all that

it comes with them both being in seperate factions, but they BOTH work very hard to keep you out of the professional lives

you're their kid, they dont want you in any of the doublesided danger that could get you in

you're probably a secret to everyone except the ADA and the other mafia

And your existence is on a need-to-know basis for everybody else

Dazai is the more present figure in your life, simply because Chuuya has to be a bit more distant

It's the nature of his line of work, anyone he's seen with is a target, and he doesn't want that to be you

He will be at your schooling events still, though. He will be YELLING AND SHOUTING in the stands

Into sports? Every time theres an unfair play he will cuss the living daylights out of the ref

And they just have to let him because theres nothing they can really do about

Dazais the same way, but with less scare factor and way less vigor

After games, he's going to complain WITH you about how lame the whole thing was if you lost, how everything was judged unfairly

They may not get along the best together, but they love each other and especially love you, so they're improving for you

Read: Chuuya is making them improve for you

Dazai thinks hes the victim in all this!

But oh well, if Chuuya makes him apologize when they argue in front of you, he will

When you're all grown up, they both encourage you to find your own path

You've got the chance, thanks to them, and they dont want you involved in their little wars

It's not like you can join any sides, because who would want to be against your dad :(

So really your only choice is moving out, maybe even away-

If you really do want into their business, they both insist you join the ADA

It's safer there for you, and Chuuya would rather have to order his men to not under any circumstances EVER hurt you, than have to watch someone he can't control put you in danger

Plus, he knows Dazai will keep you in the safest position possible

Overall: 7/10 together

They're a nightmare at dinner, and Dazai is sleeping on the couch almost every night

But they adore you and every move you make, so there's no way you're feeling unloved at all

[hauntedhowlett-writes]

Title: cruel summer | chapter 4

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Pairing: Joel Miller/Female Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ MDNI)

Read on AO3 | Join the tag list | Masterlist

Summary: 

Joel takes a contracting job renovating a master bedroom and bathroom while the homeowners are away for the summer on a cruise.

He wasn’t expecting their twenty-three year old daughter and the thoughts he’d have about her.

Author’s Note: Thank you again for all the love you’ve given this fic. Please consider leaving a comment if you enjoyed! I’m also open to requests <3

Warnings/Additional Tags: age gap (15 years), explicit sexual content (18+), explicit language, A N G S T, unprotected sex, p in v, oral (f receiving), confessions, dirty talk, pet names, emotionally constipated Joel Miller and his communication issues part 27346, alcohol use, blatant Taylor Swift references

When Joel stirs awake, it’s still dark outside and the house is blessedly quiet. He’s got an arm around your waist, keeping himself pressed tightly to your back. His half hard dick strains against the curve of your ass, his hips flexing slightly to chase the friction.

You wiggle against him, letting out a cute little sigh in your sleep. He has to bite back a groan as his hips flex again. You’re so beautiful lying there in just one of his t-shirts, your features highlighted by what little light filters in through the window from the street lamps. He gently moves your hair from your shoulder to press kisses to the skin exposed from the worn collar.

You squirm again, and Joel slips his hand underneath the hem of your shirt to press his fingers against your hip bone, urging you to move against him. You’re still asleep but your breathing has sped up as his cock grinds against you. 

He lets his fingers slide beneath the band of your panties, still only caressing your hip bone. He kisses your neck some more, nibbling gently, and you finally stir awake.

“Whatimesit,” you slur. Joel chuckles against your shoulder.

“Don’t know. Early enough,,” he replies, voice scratchy from sleep. “Can I touch you?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, nodding your head against the pillow, eyes still closed. 

Joel loves you like this. All sleep warm and soft, opening up to him with all the trust in the world. It makes him think dangerous thoughts, like keeping you in bed beside him for the rest of your life so that he can wake up like this every day.

He lifts your leg over his own hip, opening you up. Those wandering fingers slip past your panties to part your slick folds. He groans, deep and rough, against your shoulder as he plunges two thick fingers inside of you.

“Christ, sweetheart, you’re so fuckin’ needy, huh? This pussy’s always wantin’ attention.” He curls his fingers and you bury your face into the pillow to muffle your moan. 

Joel plays with your soaked pussy for a few glorious minutes before withdrawing his hand to the sound of your sad whines. He moves your leg, shifting on the mattress until he’s on his knees between your spread legs, urging your hips up so that he can tug your panties down and off your body. He lays on his stomach, the broad expanse of his shoulders spreading your legs as he leans in and licks your center, starting at your dripping entrance before circling your clit.

“Joel,” you whimper, fingers immediately curling in his hair, pinpricks of pleasure-pain shooting across his nerves. He growls against you, dipping down to curl his tongue into your entrance as his nose bumps against your clit. Your hips grind against his face as you pull him closer. “Joel, baby, fuck, that feels so good.”

He looks up at you from between your spread thighs, loving the view of you with your head thrown back as you struggle to catch your breath. He works his fingers back into your tight heat and you whimper, biting your lip to hold your sounds in as best you can.

You’re tugging on his hair, urging him up. The annoyance he feels at being interrupted is quickly soothed when you drag him into a filthy kiss, your tongue tangling with his as you moan into his mouth. 

Then your hands are shoving at his shoulders, throwing him off balance until he lands on his back and you scramble to seat yourself on his lap. The only barrier between your bodies is his boxers and he can feel the wet heat of your grind against his painfully hard length.

“What are you doin’ up there, sweetheart?” Joel asks through gritted teeth, fingers digging into the soft skin of your thighs. “I wasn’t done.”

“Don’t wanna cum on your mouth, baby,” you whisper. Your hands press down on his chest as you work yourself against him. “Wanna cum on your cock again. Please?”

And who is he to deny you anything?

He keeps his eyes locked with yours as he shoves his boxers down only enough to expose his cock. You drag your wet pussy across his lust hot skin, his head dropping back against the bed as he swallows down a moan. 

“Christ,” he growls. “Take it, baby, come on.”

___________

You reach between your bodies to fist his length, positioning the sensitive head at your entrance and sliding down with a gasp. Joel holds perfectly still beneath you, the only sign of his desperation the rhythmic tightening of his fingers on your hips.

You swivel your hips once your bodies are flush, making Joel hiss. You slowly raise your hips until just the tip remains inside before bringing yourself back down and grinding your clit against his pelvis. 

“Christ, Christ,” he says through gritted teeth. “Nothin’ in this world better than your cunt.”

You smile down at him as you keep your movements tortuously slow. Joel slides a hand under the shirt he’s leant you, kneading your breast, the sensation making you tip your head back with a breathless moan.

Joel shifts beneath you, sitting up and changing the angle of his thrusts and making them so deep that you see stars. You cling to his neck as he gets his knees under him while you’re still wrapped around his waist, the new leverage giving him more power to his movements as he manages to hit that spot inside of you that makes your breath catch and your vision go a bit blurry at the edges.

“Joel,” you say in a desperate whisper. His eyes meet yours, dark and determined as he pounds into you. “God, Joel, fuck.”

It’s not the only three words you want to say, but it’s all you can manage to get from your brain to your mouth. His lips take yours in a rough kiss, his hands wrapped around your waist and his fingers digging into the grooves between your ribs like they’re made just for him.

“Sweet girl, my good girl,” he breathes. “Want you to say it. Who’s pussy is this, huh?”

“Yours, Joel,” you reply brokenly, your muscles going taut with your impending release.

“Fuckin’ right,” he growls. That deep possessive rumble in his voice sends you right over the edge, your nails scratching across Joel’s shoulders as you cum. 

He takes the opportunity to flip your positions, your back hitting the mattress with a dull squeak of springs. He lines himself back up and wastes no time slamming back inside you in search of his own release.

“Come on, Joel,” you urge, curling your fingers into the muscle of his ass to draw him closer with each thrust. “I want you to cum for me, baby, I want you to fill me up so fuckin’ bad I can’t stand it.”

“Fuck,” he groans, pressing forward to sink his teeth into your shoulder. His hips stay flush with yours as his cock pulses, warm heat spilling inside of you and making you shiver. 

He drops his weight on you, the air leaving your chest in a whoosh. You tap at his shoulder and he rolls to the side, spent and sated.

“You make a pretty good alarm clock,” you tease. He laughs before pressing up to his elbow to kiss you, slow and sweet. You smile at him as he pulls away, only to watch his face fall suddenly.

“Shit! We didn’t use a condom,” he says, sitting up abruptly. “I’m so sorry. I just got so carried away, I don’t know what I was thinkin’.”

“I’m sorry, too. I didn’t even think about it.” You sit up, rubbing a hand on his back. “I take my birth control religiously, though. I swear. I even have it in my purse if you wanna check.”

“I trust you, baby,” he replies, kissing your forehead. 

“Daddy!” A small voice calls at an impressive volume from down the hall.

“Duty calls,” he groans, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and bending down to retrieve a discarded pair of sweatpants. “I’ll go attend to the princess.” He leaves you with another kiss to your forehead.

You head to the bathroom to clean up, brushing your teeth with the spare toothbrush he’d given you the night before and running a brush through your sleep and sex mussed hair. You stick with the big shirt he’d given you for sleeping, putting your bra back on beneath it before rifling through his drawers for a pair of boxers to wear as shorts beneath it, 

You move downstairs, passing by Sarah’s closed door where you can faintly hear Joel’s muffled voice asking his daughter how she slept. In the kitchen, you peer inside the fridge, pleased to find a full carton of eggs and milk. Pulling those out, you check the pantry and cabinets until you find a loaf of bread, cinnamon, and brown sugar.

You find the coffee on your hunt as well, filling up the filter on the drip machine and adding water before pressing start. With coffee brewing, you get started on breakfast, mixing up the batter for french toast while a pan heats on the stove.

In your own little world, you don’t hear the front door open, or the heavy footsteps that come down the hall.

“Smells good in here–oh. Well, hello,” a voice says, making you jump. You turn to face a man leaning in the doorway, his black hair and brown eyes familiar despite never having met him.

“Uh, hi,” you reply, brandishing the spatula defensively. “You must be Tommy.”

There’s a flurry of footsteps on the stairs before Sarah runs into Tommy, wrapping her arms around his legs. “Uncle Tommy!”

“Hey, kiddo,” he says, eyes not leaving you. “That’s right. And you are…?”

Joel follows down the stairs, pausing in the doorway and eyes flicking between you and Tommy. Sarah breaks the tense silence by coming to your side and asking what you’re doing. Your attention turns to her as the men share a look.

You return to your task, attention focused on Sarah as you try to ignore the weight of their silence behind your back.

________

Joel drags Tommy by the shoulder to the living room. The younger man’s eyebrows are raised, waiting for him to speak. 

“Who’s the jailbait, Joel?” Tommy asks with a laugh. Joel narrows his eyes at his brother.

“She ain’t jailbait, okay?” He says with a sigh. He gives Tommy your name, running his hand through his hair. Tommy’s eyebrows raise impossibly higher.

“You gotta be kiddin’ me. The daughter of your client?” He whistles low. “That’s fuckin’ ballsy, even for you.”

Joel remains quiet. Tommy tilts his head, appraising his silence.

“What’s on your mind, brother?” He asks. Joel clenches his jaw.

“Nothin’, man. Let’s just get back in there,” he finally replies, moving past Tommy to return to the kitchen.

You smile brightly at him when he enters the room, and he forces one in return.

________

Joel drives you home that afternoon. You mention your plans to study at the library the coming week.

“Don’t wanna risk any distractions with the exam so soon,” you tease.

Joel’s laugh is strained, the sound awkward.

He gives you a sweet kiss when he parks the car, watching you as you enter the house. You turn to wave at him, but he’s pulling out of the driveway.

Your hand drops to your side, your goodbye unseen.

_______

Joel finishes the job in your parent’s master bedroom on Wednesday, the day before they’re scheduled to return from their cruise. He doesn’t see or hear from you much, and part of him is relieved. Tommy’s words echo in his mind every time his thoughts stray to you, strengthening his resolve.

Your exam is scheduled for Friday. After that, he knows that your parents are helping you move back to your apartment near campus for the start of your senior year. His replies to your messages are brief.

You: Exam finally done! I think it went really well. 

Joel: Congratulations.

________

You don’t see Joel before you move back to your off campus apartment. Your parents had taken up your remaining days in their house, taking you out for a celebration dinner following your exam and helping you prep for moving back for school. Joel’s been pretty quiet, but you chalk it up to him starting a new job and needing to focus on the work.

Alarm bells don’t start to ring until your second week of school, when your phone calls start reaching his voicemail instead of him. The replies to your texts take longer to arrive, if they do at all. 

It’s a Friday night and your stomach is in knots as you stare at your phone, willing Joel to reply to your last message. It was innocuous, just an update about your day, but you haven’t heard from him in a couple days. Your phone gets ripped from your hands by your roommate, Hannah, and she holds it above her head as she stares down at you with a stern expression.

“Stop moping. I can’t stand it,” she says. “Cam and Tristan want to go out to midtown tonight. You’re coming with.”

“But–”

“No ‘buts’. I’ve let you be sad for a week. It’s time for alcohol and talking shit about the mysterious boy you’re so hung up about,” she interrupts. She slips your phone into her pants pocket and claps her hands. “Go change. And use some dry shampoo, your hair is not doing your Texas roots any justice.”

You can’t help but laugh, but the sound is rusty to your ears. She follows you to your bedroom, picking through your closet and tossing a pair of high waisted jeans and a crop top at your head. You change into the selected outfit and dig your well worn cowboy boots from under your bed. Hannah then waits until you sit at your desk and start pulling your hair and makeup stuff toward you before giving a satisfied nod and retreating to her own room to get ready.

Later, you slide into the Uber beside her and she holds your hand as you start to tell her about Joel, the man you were in love with and how he’s breaking your heart. You swallow around the lump that forms in your throat.

“Oh, honey. You wanna slash his tires?” She asks, making you giggle. “Or do you wanna drown your sorrows in margaritas and line dancing?”

“Drinks, please,” you reply with a sigh, leaning your head against her shoulder. She pats your thigh.

“Anything you want, darlin’.”

________

Joel’s on the couch drinking a beer as he tries to focus on the basketball game Tommy turned on. It’s late, passing midnight. His nail scrapes against the paper label absently.

“How’s your girl doin’?” Tommy asks as he flops onto the couch. 

“Don’t know. Broke it off,” he grunts. Tommy’s eyes widen. 

“Seriously? Must explain why you’ve been such a miserable bastard.” Joel punches him sharply in the shoulder. As if summoned by the conversation, his phone rings on the coffee table, your contact name lighting up the screen.

Tommy’s eyes flick between the phone and Joel, who refuses to pick it up. The phone goes dark before lighting again, a second call coming through.

“Joel…does she know that you broke it off?” Tommy asks. Joel clenches his jaw, staunchly refusing to meet his brother’s accusatory gaze. “Christ, man. Could you be any more of a dick?”

The phone goes dark and lights up again. A third call. Joel reaches out for the device just as the call goes to voicemail. A text comes instead.

You: Joel, please pick up the phone. 

He swipes through the screen to his missed calls and presses one of the entries, most of them from you. It rings once before you pick up.

“Joel?”

“What’s wrong?” He asks. 

“Nothing, not really. Just…I went out with Hannah and I just…I wanna go home, Joel. But there’s no rides available and–”

“Where are you?” He asks immediately. You tell him the name of the bar, some country themed place he knows is big with the college crowd. He’s already standing and gathering his keys, shoving his feet into his boots by the door. “I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he promises before hanging up.

“Tommy, keep an eye on Sarah,” he commands. Tommy gives him a salute in response, reclining back on the couch.

“Go get your girl, brother.”

________

You’re outside the bar, boot tapping on the pavement when Joel’s familiar truck pulls up in front of you. You hop in the cab and he doesn’t say anything as he pulls away from the curb.

Seeing him is like a punch to the gut. The silence sobers your mind from the mild haze two margaritas had left you in. You ache to touch him but he feels thousands of miles away despite sitting right next to you, his grip on the steering wheel white knuckled as he avoids your gaze.

You give him the directions to your apartment building, voice small and wavering with emotion. You tip your head back against the headrest, tears stinging behind your eyelids as you fight against them. 

“You okay? Nothin’ happened back there, did it?” Joel asks. 

“I’m fine,” you mumble, voice watery. The first tear slips down your cheek, the rest in hot pursuit as you try to breathe through the ache in your chest. He pulls into the parking lot of your complex and kills the engine. 

You blink up at the ceiling, more tears falling. Joel heaves a sigh.

“Baby…,” he murmurs.

“Don’t call me baby, Joel. Not after your radio silence the last couple of weeks,” you snap, opening the door and jumping out. “Fuck you.”

You hear the sound of a door slamming shut behind you, footsteps pounding on pavement as he jogs to catch up to you. You refuse to look back, entering your building and rushing up the stairs, breathing labored as you take the steps two at time to get to the third floor before him.

Your efforts are pointless. He catches up to you as you fumble with your keys, eyes blurry with your tears. He grabs you by the waist, turning you until your back is pressed to your door and he’s bracketing your body with his arms. You struggle to shove him back.

“Stop it,” he growls. “I’m doin’ this for your own fuckin’ good, can’t you see that?”

You’re frozen in anger, the rage bubbling in your veins. “My own good? You’re back on this fuckin’ martyr shit? Are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m not fuckin’ kiddin’. Don’t you see how much of your life you have left to live? Why would I keep actin’ like I have any right to keep you?”

“Because I love you, you fuckin’ asshole!” You shout back. A door down the hall opens and your neighbor Craig, another student at UT, pokes his head out and calls your name tentatively.

“You okay?” He asks, eyes flicking between you and Joel. 

“Doin’ swell, thanks Craig. See you in biochem Monday,” you say, eyes not leaving Joel’s. The other man blinks.

“Uh, okay…,” he says uncertainly. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“With all due respect, Craig, get the fuck back inside,” Joel snaps. Craig’s door shuts with a click. He murmurs your name. “Open the door, sweetheart.”

You turn in his arms, sticking your key in the lock and shoving the door open.

Joel follows you inside, pressed to your back. He kicks the door shut, turning your bodies until you’re pressed against the door once more, your chest heaving. 

“You love me?” He asks incredulously. His palms frame your face, thumbs smoothing across the tear stains on your cheeks. 

“Yes, you big fuckin’ idiot. I want you to keep me,” you whisper. “Please, Joel.”

He leans forward, pressing his lips against yours. It’s rough and demanding, his teeth nipping at your lower lip and his tongue exploring yours when your mouth drops open in a gasp.

“Sweetheart, I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he murmurs, trailing his mouth down your neck.

“I don’t know either, but if you pull this shit again, I’m taking Hannah up on her offer to slash your tires,” you reply. He pulls back slightly.

“What?” 

You drag him back to you. “Don’t worry about it.”

He kisses you again, his hands on your hips as he wedges a knee between your legs. You gasp at the friction, the seam of your jeans rubbing just right as you flex against him.

“Fuck,” Joel says through gritted teeth. “Missed you so much, sweetheart, ‘M sorry I was such an idiot.” 

“Make it up to me, then,” you command.

Joel lifts his head, grinning like the devil as he turns your body against his until his hips are pressed against your ass and your hands are flat on the door. He runs a large palm over one cheek before drawing his hand back and landing a hard smack to the muscle, making you gasp. Your fingers curl against the wood door and you press to your tip toes, torn between wanting to escape the sensation and wanting more.

Then his fingers are on the button fly, tearing it open before shimmying both the pants and your panties down your thighs until your heated skin is exposed to the cool air of your apartment.

“You already wet for me, darlin’? Or do you need a little encouragement?” He asks, mouth pressed to your ear. He slides his fingers through your wet center. “Fuck, you’re soaked.”

“Fuck me, baby, please,” you beg, voice wanton as you arch your back and press your ass out more. “Pretty please?”

You hear the shuffle of his hands undoing his belt and pants before they drop to the ground and he’s wasting no time fulfilling your request. The hard length of him slams into you, filling you so abruptly and delicious you can’t hold back your shout.

“That’s right, scream my name for me,” Joel growls in your ear before latching his teeth harshly into your shoulder. “Let everyone know you’re fuckin’ mine.”

“All yours,” you whisper back, holding on for dear life. He wraps a hand around your throat, not constricting, but holding onto your pulse point the same way he holds your heart.

You’re already fluttering around him, so wound up from the argument and the adrenaline of it all that when he slips the hand still on your hip around to circle your clit, you come with a strangled moan.

“Fuck,” Joal grunts, his hips stuttering in their rhythm. He slams inside, pressing against you as he comes, the fingers around your throat flexing possessively. 

You’re both panting, your skin slick with sweat as you try to recover. He slips from your body and you can feel the lewd drip of his spend down your thigh. He pulls his own pants up before easing yours up as well, though he doesn’t bother to button them. Instead, he keeps a hand on your back and crouches down to loop the other behind your knees, picking you up as you giggle and wrap your arms around his neck.

You tilt your head against his shoulder as he carries you down the hall and you point out the door to your room. He sets you on the bed, kneeling to pull your boots off before helping you get fully out of your jeans this time.

“Can you stay?” You ask, voice small and uncertain. He pulls his phone from his pocket and sends a text before he replies.

“Yeah, sweetheart, I can stay,” he replies, removing his own shoes and pants to climb in beside you, curling around your body in the small bed.

“I love you, Joel.”

“I love you, too.”

Tags: @huffle-punk @telepathay @johnwatsn  @hopelessromantic727 @caatheeriinee07 @leeeesahhh @whereasport @pedr0swh0r3 @yellingloudly 

@dragon-of-winterfell @thedeadsingwithdirtintheirmouths @cutesyscreenname

[liedownquisition]

Jason Todd's timeline and "Age"

So, there's a lot of discussion of Jason Todd's age esp as relative to other sidekick vigilantes, particularly Tim and Mia. I believe the exact words are usually something about a "grown ass man beating up/trying to kill teenagers."

DISCLAIMER: This particular post is specifically regarding the "grown ass man vs teenagers" statement, I have posts regarding the "tried to kill them" portion and other stuff like "seriously Jason Todd is like being shot by a marshmallow gun compared to what goes on directly before and after him in these incidents, also you don't bitch about the right stuff, also a lot of you prop up characters who are Objectively Worse, and no that's not hate on your fave it's just me calling out hypocrisy". It just takes time to find digital copies of the panels I'm using. NOTE I AM NOT JUSTIFYING HIS ACTIONS. I'm just saying y'all blow it out of proportion for petty character hate. Like, shit, they're superheroes. Jason's soooo fuckin' tame. He's not even framed as a big deal to the teens it's only the adults that think it's that much of a problem.

Courtesy readmore post cut:

Now, to start off, we all know Jason died at 15 & a few months off from 16 (if you want me to dig up panels, sure, but I figured at this point that wasn't in question). Tim at this point is somewhere between 12-13, and we have this panel in Lonely Place of Dying which takes place a few months later:

So that's a ballpark of 2-3 years between Jason and Tim.

But Tim's age is really fucky and they keep de-aging him tbh. We can extrapolate that his confrontation with Jason was between the ages of 16-17 bcs it's after the arc where he has his incredibly shitty 16th birthday in Robin Vol2 #116 and before Red Robin where he's stated to be 17. This would put Jason between 18-19 at the time. (If you really want me to find panel sources for Tim's birthday and his age in RR then, sure, but I don't think they're necessary. I used it more as a guidepost for Jason's age, since we have a clear idea of what the age gap is.)

At least, on paper.

Mia for her part I've had a hard time finding like, on panel mentions of her age and if anyone can direct me to it being explicitly stated I'd love that. I'm rereading old comics but it's a LOT of comics to hunt down & dig through. To my understanding she was fifteen when Ollie first met her, and there's at Minimum of about a year and a half between that to her meeting Red Hood, more likely at least two? because there's at least few months between that and her joining the Titans, the Doctor Light stuff, then One Year Later, and then returned to Star some 3 months after Ollie came back to run for mayor? And then Jason not too long after. So, two years feels safe. Puts her at 17-ish, Jason at 19-20

Once again, I specify: on paper.

People would happily point out at this point that the upward stretch of a 4 year age gap is a "huge gap in maturity." And yeah, under normal circumstances, I'd agree.

But, and this is going to get contradictory bcs I found Two different timelines (BOTH written by Winick, lmao), and depending on how you read it it could be up to three different possibilities. Let's Start with Batman Annual #25: Daedalus & Icarus.

Timestamp before Jason's resurrection, which is pretty well known at this point:

Next, him waking up from a coma afterwards, when he escapes the hospital:

Now the above could be interpreted as either 1 year after he died if we're assuming that it's using the same "start" point to count as the resurrection (unlikely), or one year after he came back (more likely).

Next, the timestamp right before a guy recognizes him and sells him out:

And, finally, the timestamp before being put in the Pit:

That is, count it up, between 3-3 1/2 years where Jason was dead, in a coma, or otherwise not particularly... cognizant of the world around him. His ass is NOT developing emotionally, socially, or mentally like this, which pretty handily bridges the gaps there. Taken at face value, Jason's maturity level is going to be, unironically, younger than Tim's in the wake of these setbacks.

Now, if we go to Lost Days issue 1, it doesn't specify how long he was dead, nor how long he was in a coma, so we'll just carry those two over, what we DO have is this from just after Talia brought him home:

This puts him as being on the streets for five months, so we're at just shy of two years so far. And then we have this:

Which is right before Talia puts him in the Pit.

So, in summary: 6 months dead, 1 year coma, 5 months on the street, and something like 1-1 1/2 years with the League which...

Actually puts us on almost the exact same timeframe either way. 3 to 3 1/2 years. It just changes whether Jason was on the streets or with the League for longer.

And is utterly incomprehensible because comic timelines are a freaking nightmare.

If we're being generous, then that would put Jason at a minimum of 19, maybe toeing the line of 20 for UTRH, again, on paper, because like hell are you convincing me he did less than a year's worth of training abroad throughout Lost Days. Yeah maybe they trained him in fighting while he was catatonic, muscle memory and all that. But the other teachers that we KNOW of? The bombs, guns, probably something to get him up to date on handling all that tech we see him using, Egon, potentially arguably All-Caste if you want to draw from n52...

but you'd have to knock at least a year and a half off of his internal/personal development from death & coma, at minimum. Maybe you could argue he was somewhat developing while in his "the lights are on, but nobody's home" phase, you can't say it's at the same level as a normal person might when going about their day to day life, and it's difficult to measure. But he's not hitting the kind of milestones that he should be for his age. I wouldn't put him at anything less than two years behind. So if we use our upper estimates on Jason, and lower estimates on both the developmental setbacks and Tim/Mia's ages that gives us:

Jason toeing 20, mentally 18, fighting Tim at 16. 2 year gap, kind of stretching the physical age gap if we assume Tim had just barely turned 13 when he showed up to be Robin. - OR LESS

Jason maybe 21, mentally 19, fighting Mia at 17, two year age gap again. Honestly, still not that big of a difference - OR LESS

And, to be frank, that's not even counting the mental development issues that come from the intense physical trauma from dying - and I swear to fuck don't give me the "He's not the only one who died he's not special" speech.

HOW MANY OF THE OTHERS YOU'RE USING AS A GOTCHA LOST, *GESTURING AGGRESSIVELY ABOVE*, LITERALLY MULTIPLE YEARS OF THEIR LIFE.

Not counting adults, of course. Barry lost years, Hal lost years, Ollie I think also lost a couple years? but A) they came back still adults, bodies pretty much the same. B) While Jason's body didn't go through a magic growth spurt in canon, it did still grow esp while with the League.

I'll eventually get around to Titan's Tower & GA#72 (tbh, there are other people who've already done Titan's Tower and it'd probably be better than what I do, so I'm more going to focus on the latter, but there IS a specific part of the former that drives me nuts that I don't see brought up a lot), and maybe if we're feeling spicy all my issues with UTRH starting with how Winick is just as guilty of retroactively writing Jason as being inherently a bad penny since his Robin days as any of the other "modern" writers. Like, bud, Severe enough Head Trauma is legitimately enough to change someone's personality, not to mention trauma. It wouldn't hurt your narrative for that eerie difference, the Shade of What Once Was if you're really going for RH being Like that.

Final addition: I swear to god if you use my post to start up some kind of petty-ass ship war or flame other characters I will immediately turn off reblogs and replies I am Not Dealing With That Shit, please and thank you.

Anyways, @glitter-stained, your interest made me decide to actually put the work in now to pull it up rather than passively gather stuff to dump whenever discourse pushes me over the edge so, here ya are. Looks like you did have it closer on the mark than I did.

[rosencrantzsguildenstern]

Viola is a gifted soccer player who's school has just cut girl's sports. When her twin brother Sebastian decides to go to London to chase a gig, Viola decides to enroll in his new school as her brother. "His" roommate Duke is both a complete hottie and the captain of the soccer team. In order to score a place on the team "Sebastian" agrees to help Duke get with his crush Olivia. However Olivia is totally gone for "Sebastian"! Shenanigans ensue as the difference between girls and guys in both love and sports is explored.

This is a hilarious and irreverent take on Twelfth Night starring Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum. It's incredibly quotable, tons of fun, and a great modern adaptation.

Shirtless Channing Tatum. Positive messages about masculinity! Very quotable. Random acting part for Vinnie Jones. Amanda Bynes at her comedy peak! The shoehorning in of a Shakespeare quote at the end from a play that isn't twelfth night! Peak 2000s romcom

A high school take on the Malvolio Gulling subplot. Sixteen-year-old Marshall Gardner is 1) straight-laced, 2) exacting, 3) judgemental, and 4) perfectionistic. And below the surface, kept hidden from the rest of the world, he’s 5) controlled by his obsessions and compulsions, 6) fixated on the number twelve, 7) hopelessly in love with his best (only) friend, and 8) horrendously imperfect. He’s also 9) universally disliked, 10) the self-made enemy of the former GSA president, 11) just a little too easy to trick, and 12) in trouble.

This book is sooooo fucking good it’s my comfort read!!! Max asks the brave brave question of what if twelfth night was about a high schooler who i want to squeeze like a stress ball and it makes me feel insane. 12/10 book of all fucking time please read it

THIS STORY FUCKS. extremely hard. i read it before i even read twelfth night and let me tell you it works just as well as a stand-alone story as a retelling. it uses the subplot of twelfth night revolving around the servants (which deserves more attention, as a side note) to explore gender and neurodivergence and the inherent horror of being sixteen and it executes every theme extremely well. if you have maybe half an hour to spare honestly sit down and read the whole thing right now. it's so good. sir toby is a lesbian. what more could you want

read the whole thing here

[wonjnz]

love, like it always has been

₊˚⊹ summary: gyuvin sets out to defeat some old white man's quora answer about love.

₊˚⊹ genre: fluff, best friend!gyuvin, high school!au | wc: 1k

₊˚⊹ warning(s): some swearing | inspo: —

₊˚⊹ a/n: very random slice of life moments with bsf!gyuvin so the timeline is kinda.. 😭😭 got the idea when i got sm quora emails today

whenever gyuvin wonders what love is, he thinks the amount of "expert" answers in a random quora thread about it doesn't seem to click with him.

he didn't feel some sort of fireworks when he saw you, so some doctor specializing in 'love' is automatically eliminated. and his world certainly didn't slow down when you walk in, so now a random old, white man talking about his wife of 25 years is also eliminated (though gyuvin admits it's cute).

gyuvin sighs and puts his phone down, placing his hands on both cheeks; god, this is so stupid, he thinks. if only his friends weren't the loudest speakers in school, he'd probably be ranting to them about this, but he remains determined to find out what love means to him.

ever since that night, gyuvin made it his goal that one day, he'll have the most upvotes on his quora answer and everyone will reply this is exactly what love feels like.

old white man be damned, gyuvin is going to have a more relatable answer. just watch, he thinks.

gyuvin swears he felt love when he watched you introduce yourself on the first day of school, he found it hilarious. after school, you almost cut him off from how much he teased you about it. only did he redeem himself when he willingly became your servant for 2 months, to his friends surprise (and ultimately gyuvin’s embarrassment).

and he feels it once more while you're slowly losing your mind over a chemistry assignment. the way your hair sticks out in all directions from all the times your hands kept running through in frustration, the way your eyebrows furrow when you finally get a logical answer after five grueling minutes, that's when gyuvin confirms it.

“what?” you ask, noticing how gyuvin has been awfully quiet and smiling to himself. “is my answer wrong or something?” you worry, looking back and forth from your paper to his.

he's in love.

gyuvin immediately comes back to his senses and waves you off, “it's nothing. just thought of something.” he says. to be fair, what he said wasn't much of a lie. he was thinking of you after all.

you scoff at his half-assed answer, "whatever. i'm going back to number 6." mumbling as you look back at your paper. "yeah, i'll go back too." gyuvin says, smiling amusingly at his answers (he's only done 4 questions).

“seriously, gyuvin. you're disgusting.” you laugh, pointing at the dried-up ice cream stains at the corner of his lips. "you look like you drooled or something."

gyuvin rolls his eyes, “at least wipe it off for me. both my hands are occupied.” he says while holding up his ice cream and a small plastic spoon, obviously finding a reason for you to do it. “what a loser..” you mumble before trying to find a few pieces of tissue in your backpack, putting it up to his lips to wipe the remnants off.

and gyuvin fights the urge to say “i'm in love with you,” at that moment. opting to share a few details about his day instead since he knows how you're always invested in whatever drama he manages to dig out.

damn his demons are hard to beat today, he curses to himself.

as he looks at you, eyes purely focused on his as if you're anticipating more, gyuvin's heart feels lighter than ever. he feels the slight click one quora user said in his answer, albeit very softly, to the point he might've missed it.

“that's all i have today.” gyuvin shrugs, in his defense, you were always his highlight of the day, not some random drama he heard from gunwook every lunchtime, but he can't tell you that just yet. “boring.”

he smiles amusingly, “i might have something else cool in mind though. but i don't know if you'd wanna hear it.” mentally preparing on the spot is something gyuvin wouldn't wish even on his worst enemy.

you look at him incredulously, mouth slightly agape. “what? of course i'd wanna hear it.” setting your cup of ice cream down just to show gyuvin how interested you were.

“well, i’ve liked you for quite some time and —”

"so ricky was right!"

gyuvin feels his inner demons creep up on him right after, he swears he could hear them laughing at this very moment. “..so, you knew all this time? because of ricky?” you chuckle at how quiet his voice became.

“he told me last night since he thought you were being kinda weird lately, and he knew we always go out after school, so he warned me you might confess or something.” gyuvin puts his head in his hands, whining at his now spoiled confession, “i wanted this to be cute..”

it's an understatement to say ricky and gyuvin were on bad terms for a while, though you couldn’t stand the amount of shade they kept throwing at the other, so you forced them to make up on gyuvin’s fifth day of his villain origin story against ricky.

“you know i can't kiss you right now if your breath smells like the cheeseburger you ate, gyuvin.” you point out, snickering at gyuvin's exaggerated pursed lips and dramatic reaction to your words.

“the cheeseburger you bought for me. so technically it's not my fault.” he shrugs nonchalantly, a stark contrast to how he kept whining about wanting even a small peck a minute ago.

you watch gyuvin, who's on the verge of losing his mind at the thought of at least 10 minutes with no affection, “okay, fine. i'll drink something to get that burger taste out.” he surrenders quickly to your amusement.

laughing at his defeated walk to his fridge, “not my fault you wanted takeout after studying.” you heard him mumble under his breath.

“you agreed to it!” you retort, gyuvin comes back with the iced tea he ordered along. “of course i would, why would i say no to you?” he says before drinking.

“plus, if i didn’t confess to you on a whim last week, i’d probably kiss you right now and i wouldn’t know you hate cheese breath. imagine how horrifying that would be for me.”

once he makes sure any trace of cheese in his breath is gone, he smirks at you expectingly but in reality, it's his usual goofy smile. “can you give me a kiss now?” he says, paper cup still in his hand as if it was some cliche house party scene.

“now that i think of it, cheeseburger and iced tea breath is even more disgusting.”

“oh fuck you.”