#He's literally just a wine aunt

[radiance1]

Teddy bear Danny au strikes again! With its partner in crime being the Uncle Waylon au!

So, Teddy Bear Danny ends up in Gotham because he heard his dad mention some man named Waylon in passing, so he decided to put his (figurative) big boy pants on and head out to find him!

He even had a little bag his mom made him, that he filled up with snacks, his allowance, and various Fenton gadgets he could get his hands on without his parents noticing- like the lipstick. It could also, and he's never sure how his parents managed to do it, hold way more stuff than it should looking at how small it is.

So then he left Amity Park with his family none the wiser, thinking about how awesome it would be when he shows up with his uncle!

He went through a few cities, getting weird looks here and there, playing with some kids he's met, being kidnapped by a few, being kidnapped by decidedly not children, practicing stranger danger- sometimes and others following random people he's just met when they said they knew who Waylon Jones was after he showed them a picture!

A picture he drew himself in crayon, thank you very much. His family said he was quite the artist!

He never managed to actually find his uncle though, even with showing random people his picture. So eventually, he always had to hop buses to the next city he could, though he was unfortunately running low on his allowance...

So low that, when he managed to think about it, could only drop his off at one more city, if he didn't want to impose on the amount he set aside to get him and Waylon back to Amity Park. So, he set his sights on Gotham City, hoping that he would be able to find his uncle there!

When he did get there, he psyched himself up, striking a few poses he saw on Tv once and then running off to go find his uncle.

Once again, a few people looked at him weirdly, but it wasn't anything he wasn't used to, but for some reason he got kidnapped more so than usual, not even by kids! Which were his usual kidnappers, sometimes they even tried to mug him for some reason.

So he gave them a snack.

Some took it and let him leave, others... not so much. So he had run away from those ones, fading through a wall or hiding behind a dumpster, or losing them in the crowd were all very effective methods!

He showed some people his drawing, and nobody still didn't know who he was asking about! Which was stupid, in his opinion, because his drawing was very detailed and very accurate! He was about to give him, thinking that nobody would be able to help him, and was just about to head back home.

At least until he ran into somebody, quite literally falling over due to his sides. It was an accident, but still! People should really be considerate of Teddy bears roaming around!

The guy bent down and apologized for running into him, which was a very rare thing when he stepped out of Amity! So this guy had an instant improve on him on that alone, so he got up, dusted himself off and showed him the drawing of his uncle.

The guy who introduced himself as Brucie Wayne actually recognized him too! He said he was on his way to meet him, to be exact, and Danny saw an opportunity when he saw one, so he climbed onto Bruce Wayne and practically forced the guy to take him alone.

He gave him one of his favorite snacks as payment.

Actually two, because he was nice and fun. But no more than that because these are his snacks, and some were also for his uncle!

So when he got to the place his uncle was being held at- Arkham Asylum-, he was informed that his uncle is currently held here in captivity for something, something, something that he didn't bother to remember if he was being honest.

So of course, the most natural thing and reaction to do was to plan a prison break.

He stayed on Bruce's shoulder, using him as a free ride throughout Arkham Asylum while directing him towards his uncle via picture. It took a while of insistence, but they eventually got to his uncles, so he got down, gave Bruce a handshake, phased through the glass of his uncles cell and stared up.

And up.

And up.

And up.

Sweet macaroni! He didn't know his uncle was so tall! he was practically taller than his Pa! Which said something considering he was like, the tallest person he'd ever seen in the history of ever. But regardless he managed to find him, so he jumped around him a bit in happiness, and showed him the picture.

===

Waylon Jones, otherwise known as Killer Croc, was exceedingly confused about why there was a tiny, sentient teddy bear in his cell. Who seemed happy being in his presence of all things.

It showed him a crudely drawn picture of him after jumping up and down around him, and he doesn't exactly know the significance of it, but it implied that the toy was trying to find him, he watched it dig through its bag and pull out a wide variety of snacks, all of which were thrown at him.

Quite literally.

So he decided to just, sit down and eat them. Not everyday he gets free snacks like this, so.

While he was chowing down, it took out a crayon and paper and started drawing, then after that it showed him a picture of Jack- helpfully labeled- and his family, which the teddy bear was on there along with another girl in the kids section.

Which, huh, he supposes he has a nephew and niece.

Then in the middle of eating the last snack, guards stepped into his cell to extract his nephew. His nephew's time was up, it seemed, so he waved goodbye and stared trying to plan a prison break to meet his nephew outside of prison the next time they saw each other.

He could have never expected for him to be turned into a smaller, stuffed version of himself and phasing through the walls of his cell.

===

Danny liked his uncle, he was nice! But it was a bit unfair that he was still way taller than him, even when turned into a doll.

Anyways, he had a prison break to complete, and then he could drag his uncle back home to his family's utterly surprised faces!

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Ways I can think of that “DanDaDan” differs from other shonen series:

* Female MC is as important as male MC

* Canon romance gets consistent development through the series. I think that’s part of the reason why the MC ships with the rivals (Aira, Jiji) aren’t as popular with the fandom for once. The main ship is actually getting good development, so the fanbase doesn’t have to make up headcanons to fill in the space.

* Flips the found family trope on its head by having the main group despise new people whenever they show up and they even actively try to kick them out. The new people only end up staying because they keep lingering around to the point that the main group just gives up and lets them stay.

* The rivals aren’t emo or angst-ridden. Aira is a delusional tryhard popular girl while Jiji is a himbo drama queen. I’d even go as far to say that the MCs are the ones who are emo and angst-ridden.

* Supporting cast is more than just important, they become integral to the story. I’d say that the further you read into DanDaDan, the more it becomes an ensemble cast where everyone is a protagonist in their own right.

* World-building is all over the place, but in a good way. Most other shonen are pretty consistent with what kind of world their characters live in. MHA is superhero-based, Naruto is ninjas and magic, Bleach is spirits, and so on. DanDaDan feels like the author just throws whatever cool shit they can think of into the story. That’s actually the reason why I wrote in a different post that DanDaDan reminds me more of Marvel/DC than any other shonen series, it manages to capture the catch-all insanity of those comics.

* Doesn’t rely on hidden power-ups. The main characters either have to outsmart the villains or they have to train to get better with the powers they already have.

* The pervert comic relief guy is actually endearing for once. Not because of his pervert tendencies, but because he’s so oblivious to how socially inept he is that it’s kind of funny. This is gonna sound strange, but he sorta reminds me of Thor in Thor Ragnarok. Full of himself and oblivious to how dumb he can be. He’s Thor without the good looks lol.

* Flips the “nerdy outcast loser somehow gets a harem” trope. Instead of making Okarun cooler than how he actually is, the story emphasizes that the women who fall for Okarun are as weird as him. Momo is a weird outcast, Aira has main character syndrome, Vamola doesn’t understand how to human because she’s literally not one, Rin thought Okarun was a vampire (and wanted him to be).

* Flips the “elderly figure in charge of the teenagers” trope. I don’t really get motherly figure vibes from Seiko Ayase, I get more “cool wine aunt who is stuck with her niece” vibes. In fact, there was the arc where Okarun showed up to her in spirit mode to get her help with fighting off the alien invasion and Seiko’s response was, “Well, I’m not in the area and I have other shit to do, so you kids figure it out.”

* The series takes the piss out of the trope of mystical/magical items that the group acquired to get their powers. I mean…the main mystical MacGuffin in the series are Okarun’s balls.

* Okarun was about to go into an “I’m weak / I wish I was stronger / I want to get stronger for my friends” breakdown, but Turbo Granny told him to shut up and keep fighting.

* Not afraid to put the “cool girl” in as many funny situations as possible. Off the top of my head, the series built up Momo as this cool, tough girl who doesn’t take shit from anyone…then several chapters later, Okarun found out she got a job at a maid cafe.

(Feel free to add to the list!)

[vibingandsimping]

Randomly assorted headcanons (sfw+nsfw) for randomly assorted characters… pt. 2

I have yet to make a pinned post with some sort of navigation/rules guide but I will state in all my posts. Asks and Submissions are always open and if you have trouble with it comment!

Not proofread cause that’s for the weak 🥰

Characters involved: Gale, Halsin, Karlach

Tags/Forewarnings: AFAB + AMAB genitalia mentions, use of magic to enhance sex, size differences, breeding, general worshipping, oral (receiving + giving), temperature play, fingering, penetration.

Gale

Y’all love pathetic men… I support. Anyways… Tell me i’m wrong but he’d love to spoil you. We already know he practically worships the ground you walk on. You entered his life full of strife and paved a way for him to have a more hopeful future. His eyes are practically hearts when he gazes upon you. As such, he’d love to buy you and craft you things when he can. He’d buy you a gorgeous dress/vest/suit and enchant it to your liking. It feels, quite literally, like magic when you wear it. He presses kisses to your ear as he sings about how downright breathtaking you are. You hate the fact that the words make a giggle bubble in your chest.

He holds you at any opportunity he gets. In truth, he cannot fathom that you two are lovers. He’s been with a goddess before but even she did not compare to you. His pinky grazes yours as you two stand near eachother. When someone’s back turns, he presses kisses onto your cheek until you forcibly push him away. Which he always uses his puppy eyes as a retaliation to show his hate. Curse those big brown eyes. If you’d let him, he’d be more intimate without being inherently sexual. His hands glide along your skin as he helps you bathe in a nearby river or lake. Occasionally he whispers about how perfect you are to him, inside and out.

Personally, this man is the male version of a wine aunt. Once he feels that he can unwind in the camp without facing repercussions, he likes to get delightfully tipsy. Enough that his skin warms and his tongue loosens. He laughs along with the companions and makes chatter in the quiet camp. If you happen to grace him with your presence, he sings out your name and beckons you forth. To his surprise, you settle next to him on the bedroll and he wraps an arm around your waist. Squeezing you tight as he presses his nose against the pulse in your neck. He murmurs almost incoherently but you can tell from the tone of his voice it was sweet nothings.

When the camp is silent and everyone is asleep, he enjoys the thrill of seeking you out. He finds you in your bedroll and gently shakes you awake, claiming he desires you and cannot sleep. If you are so kind to spare your sleep and indulge him, he promises he’ll make it worth your time. You two trail off to somewhere more secluded before he grasps you by the waist and presses his lips onto yours. His lips aren’t too rough against yours but pleasantly warm. His fingers dance along your skin, trailing the expanse of your stomach. Suddenly, he’s whispering against your lips. You can’t tell if he’s worked you up properly or if he’s genuinely speaking nonsense. Then, a sudden and intense shiver runs through your body. He smirks at you slightly and you cannot help the excitement in your veins.

You’d nearly forgotten about the strange shiver that encompassed your body until you were on your knees in front of him. His expression held a soft intimacy yet a deep desire. He was anything but pure… just so willing for your attention and love. His cock would throb before you in a silent plead for touch. You wrap your hand around the base before wrapping your lips around the tip. He gasps softly at the sensation whilst your eyes widened. As you touched him, there was a tingle in your own loins. It was shockingly intense and you mentally cursed this man for the effect he had on you. Steeling yourself, you began to work on his shaft. Suckling, licking, stroking… all while breathy gasps and whimpers escaped his chest. The tingle in your body didn’t dissipate- no, it only grew stronger. That’s when you gazed up at him in realization. His gaze was knowing and a little dark. The bastard charmed you… so that all the pleasure he experienced you’d experience and vice-versa. So that you two were properly intermingled for all the pleasure indulged that night.

He takes a certain pleasure in finding the spots on your body that make you shake and moan. Especially those that aren’t explicitly between your thighs. If he finds a spot on your neck, or thighs, or chest that makes you whimper and grasp his hair? He’s showering it with all his attention and love until it’s practically numb. His beard tickles your skin and causes you to occasionally squirm from the sensation. He wants you as turned on and into him as he is you. You can feel his erection against your thigh as he covers your neck in hickeys. His hips occasionally grinding for some sort of friction as he focused on you. If your hand trails down to his bulge, he grabs it swiftly and holds it beside your head. His lips are swollen and wet from his kisses and his pupils are blown wide. “Not yet, please, I’m not done. Not ready for this to be over yet…” He whines and gazes at you with a certain twinkle. Who are you to tell him no? Or, maybe that’s what you want to see?

Halsin

He adores the size difference you two have. He towers over nearly everybody he knows and gotten used to being large. Honestly, it was kind of a nuisance at times. He envied others who could bed anyone without the worry of repercussions. Yet, that is a topic for discussion later down this list. Point said, he loves the feeling you provide in his chest. A protective instinct overwhelms him. No matter how soft, rugged, muscular or chubby you are. He wants to hold you and ensure you’ll be safe. The look in his eyes as you stand on your tiptoes to even reach him bending over for a kiss shows the thrill he finds in it. It’s even better when you two are cuddling and you can rest your body so comfortably ontop of his. He’ll encapsulate his arms around your form and keep you close, enjoying the thrum of your heart as you sleep.

He’d teach you how to carve wood, if you’d like. It was one of his hobbies and for you to show interest in it only reminds him of how fine a specimen you are. He’s careful as he teaches you, watchful eyes constantly glancing and staring over your shoulder as your thumbs turn the wood and the knife makes shavings. His hands wrap around yours and guide you when you struggle or use improper technique. His chest slotted against your back as he hums softly, paying no mind to how flustered you’d get. When you finish your first lesson, you both show off the sculptures you made. He’s thoroughly impressed and praises whatever you decided to carve. Later, you find it on a table in his tent. The sight makes your chest tighten and heart soar. He loves you so utterly deeply.

He craves you so desperately it is almost amusing. Your touch, your voice, your presence. He doesn’t outwardly express it but there’s a certain air around him when you approach. His gaze softens as his chest puffs and he watches you expectantly. Despite all the lovers he’s taken in his years, you’d swear he looks like he’s fallen in love for the first time. He’s nearly whipped by you. No-one has seemed so enraptured by you before. Each word you speak he’s hung unto, he watches all your movements so closely. Halsin makes sure to wrap you tightly in his hugs. Both to show you that he loves all of you and to remind you of the fact he wishes to protect you. He knows his boundaries and doesn’t follow you like a lost puppy… but when you seek him of your own accord he’s utterly thrilled.

This man is a breeder. Don’t argue with me on it. He seeks all the thrills and pleasures of nature. Regardless of if you can or cannot get pregnant, he stuffs you so full that in your haze you are sure you’ll carry his kid. He tries so hard to be gentle with you and to some degree he is. His hands trail your skin softly like you were fine china. Though, he allows himself the pleasure of gripping your curves, dips and muscles. While he holds you so gently, you cannot say the same for where he’s pushing his length into. It’s vigorous- almost mind-numbing. He groans into your ear shamelessly and with the knowledge you find it attractive. If you’d let him, he’d give into his desires and fill you til he was sure he had nothing else left to give. He’d pick you up after and bathe you. Washing you of the forest dirt and sweat accumulated on your skin. All while whispering about how he adores you and you’ve done so well for him.

We all know he’s a munch/dick eater. It’s literally confirmed in his sex scene that he immediately goes down on you… and for that I will write for.

AFAB. He’ll hook a thigh over his shoulder and press his nose against the bump of your cunt. His tongue lavishes your clit in licks and suckles as his gaze remains heady on yours. If you can even look at him, that is. One hand trails on the leg you’re standing on before teasing your parted lips. He gathers your wetness and pushes a singular finger inside. He watches as your body tenses and relaxes from his ministrations. His tongue does not stop it’s assault. Then it’s two fingers, hooking and searching for the spot that he knows will make you abandon previous care. Once he finds it, you’re crying out to the woods. His large fingers practically abuse your walls as he sucks your clit like a madman. You began to whimper and shake in his hold. His strength became apparent when he pushes your hips against the tree to keep you still. To show that you cannot escape his pleasure and act of love. Pride swells in his chest and he keeps going until you’re shuddering in his hold. The coil in your belly snapping as hands fly down to grasp his hair, hips rocking against his face.

AMAB. There’s a smirk that engraves his face when he sees exactly how hard you’d gotten for him. His hands wrap around your thighs as he trails kisses along the skin of your stomach. Then, as soon as you open your mouth to protest, a kiss is placed on the tip. You tense and he begins to show your length some attention. One hand abandons your thigh to favor your sack, gently fondling as his kitten licks and kisses turn into something more intense. Lips wrapping around the head before taking you in one gulp. Your head throws back and your thighs quiver. Either he had tons of experience or you were simply smaller in comparison and he could do it with ease. Either way, the warmth of his throat is nearly overwhelming to your senses. He looks up between your legs when he could, bobbing his head as you began to melt into the pleasure. His nails gently scratched the skin of your thigh while his other continued it’s undivided attention to the sensitive skin of your balls. He continues like this, humming and suctioning around your cock until you either spill down his throat or pull him off of you. Either way, he has a cocky smile on his face as he wipes spit and precum from his lips.

Karlach

She is a very passionate woman. She burns bright, literally and metaphorically, and is a flame that will forever burn by your side. She is especially passionate about her companions and most importantly you. She supports you in nearly every decision you make and if she doesn’t agree, she tries to understand anyways. She’s loud and speaks so highly of you to those she meets. Almost like a mother showing off her kids accomplishments in life. She’d likely be such a good mother if she ever had that opportunity. Until you fix her mechanical heart she supports you with just words and actions. As much as she craves to pull you into her grasp or press her lips on yours, she’s a ticking bomb and is capable of hurting those. When you do fix it? She can barely keep her hands and lips off you. Ten years of forced abstinence nearly drove her MAD. While she doesn’t outright burn you, she’s so, so warm.

She loves jamming out. Dancing, playing an instrument, singing… it gives her an excuse to release her pent up energy. Bard or not, she gives you those puppy eyes and nearly begs you to join her. She’ll dance with you and wrap her arms around your waist or hold your hand as you two dip and twirl. Her laugh is an angelic sound and any reservations you held melted away in her intense heat and passion. She had a way of lighting the room up and bringing out the best in those around her. You admired her for it. She eventually slows the rhythm between you two and smiles against your skin (hunched over or not). She whispers against you, light and full of emotion. “You have no idea how thankful I am to have met you. I feel complete.” The breath you take is shaky as her words fill you with such fullness. This tiefling had wormed her way into your heart like the tadpole your mind. Except, this was a worm you wished to keep. You both would do anything for each other and you both knew it.

She absolutely seethes when anyone does you dirty. The girl is quite literally growling when someone hurts you emotionally or physically. Even a wrong look can have her hackles raising and her all pissed. You sometimes have to sit her down and remind her that you’re fine. She assures you’re safe and you appreciate it. After losing so much in her life, the control of her own body and mind, she cannot imagine losing you. Small threats alarm her and she feels guilty that she cannot contain her emotions. This time you assured her that you weren’t going anywhere because she was passionate and hot-headed. You two had your own issues… and she wants nothing more than to work through them together and be the biggest supporters for each other. She pulls you into a bear hug afterwards, nuzzling against your jaw as her horn tangles in your hair. She plants kisses along the skin til you’re laughing and the air is less tense between you two.

As much as she so UTTERLY wishes to touch you, she’s so touch deprived. You know that she needs the attention after she’s had her heart repaired. You lay her down on the ground and trail kisses from her lips down to her throat and to her chest. She watches you with an excitement. It appears as if she was ready to jump out of her skin from the pure joy of being able to enjoy the sensations of flesh once more. You pay extra attention to her breasts and nipples before continuing further down to her navel. At this point, she’s squirming and whimpering desperately. “Come on, babe. Don’t tease me. I need you- so badly..” Her tone was pathetic if anything. There was no true fight or bite in her words. She liked giving her submission to you for once, letting her mind shut down. You wished nothing more than to give her what she deserved after all this time.

Once you finally reach further south, your hands slot around her hips and hold them down as you plant a few kisses against the inner of her thigh. All the teasing between you two was so worth it when you hear the wanton moan escape her lips as your tongue finally met her most sensitive parts. The heat of her cunt was intense- just like the rest of her. It was nearly overwhelming… almost burning your tongue. Yet, you ached for that warmth. To finally enjoy her moans and provide her with such pleasure. She has claws in your hair, tugging and tickling your scalp. One hand on her chest as you begin a rhythm with your tongue against her clit. Once she was beginning to properly fall apart against your mouth, you released a hand from her hip and trailed betwixt her lower lips. Your fingers sought her warmth and was pleasantly surprised with how she burned even hotter inside. Truly a creature of the hottest hells. Yet, it didn’t quite burn you… certainly was a different sensation compared to the crisp air around you. You know that she’ll return this pleasure tenfold to you. It’s her nature… and you couldn’t wait til you two were properly intertwined later in the night.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

how bad do you think Harry's abuse was? like, okay we all know he was neglected his entire childhood. Do you think he really didn't know his name until he went to school? That he was forced to help around the house the moment he could walk? He prob also didn't know his birthday at some point :(( I love him so much, i want to throttle the dursleys

I mean, just from his behavior I feel like it was pretty bad. I talked about it a bit before and he's very aware he is being mistreated. Harry literally makes a joke about Vernon beating him:

“You don’t seem to need many qualifications to liaise with Muggles. . . . All they want is an O.W.L. in Muggle Studies. . . . ‘Much more important is your enthusiasm, patience, and a good sense of fun!’ ” “You’d need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle,” said Harry darkly. “Good sense of when to duck, more like . . .”

(OOTP, 657)

As for the abuse itself:

Dudley and his friends beat him often. As mentioned repeatedly.

He slept in a cupboard under the stairs until the Dursleys thought someone else might notice. Only when they got the Hogwarts letter that mentioned the cupboard did they move Harry to Dudley's second bedroom. (The title of the room itself and where Harry was sleeping show how much of an afterthought he was).

The house had no pictures of him, no belongings, no sign Harry lived there, he only got Dudley's cast-offs.

So, yeah, it's definitely neglectful to an insane degree.

As for the more fanon portrayals of the Dursleys' abuse.

They did starve him as a form of punishment:

Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, “Go — cupboard — stay — no meals,” before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.

(PS, 23)

And Harry didn't get much food at the Dursleys in general:

This was their encounter with the fact that a full stomach meant good spirits; an empty one, bickering and gloom. Harry was least surprised by this, because he had suffered periods of near starvation at the Dursleys.

(DH, 250)

But he did get to eat with them at the table when he wasn't being punished, seen with Aunt Marge, and when the Dursleys didn't have guests:

Harry, who could see a huge Dudley tantrum coming on, began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.

(PS, 19)

That being said, Harry seems to be punished at the Dursleys pretty often. (Although, Harry considers sitting with them at the table punishment enough)

So the fanon portrayal of getting locked in the cupboard/his room with no food for who knows how long (or just, not enough food, like in CoS when he shared a canned meal with Hedwig) is actually canon.

He gets physically abused by Dudley, but also by Vernon and Petunia. We saw Petunia try to hit him with a frying pan.

Aunt Petunia knew he hadn’t really done magic, but he still had to duck as she aimed a heavy blow at his head with the soapy frying pan. Then she gave him work to do, with the promise he wouldn’t eat again until he’d finished.

(CoS, 17)

The above qoute mentions how he was forced to do chores with the threat of no food until he's done with his chores. So, yes, he was forced to work at the Dursleys. Another quote indicating he had plenty of practice cleaning over at the Dursleys:

“Filch’ll have me there all night,” said Ron heavily. “No magic! There must be about a hundred cups in that room. I’m no good at Muggle cleaning.” “I’d swap anytime,” said Harry hollowly. “I’ve had loads of practice with the Dursleys. Answering Lockhart’s fan mail . . . he’ll be a nightmare. . . .”

(CoS, 114)

That being said, we see Petunia cooking more often than Harry, and she's also mentioned cleaning on occasion:

At last, at long last, the final evening of Marge’s stay arrived. Aunt Petunia cooked a fancy dinner and Uncle Vernon uncorked several bottles of wine.

(PoA, 26)

“Right — I’m off into town to pick up the dinner jackets for Dudley and me. And you,” he snarled at Harry. “You stay out of your aunt’s way while she’s cleaning.”

(CoS, 14)

I think he wasn't constantly worked like a house elf the way the fandom sometimes portrays it. He was made to clean often enough but he didn't cook that often. The breakfast in PS is likely more of an exception than the norm as whenever any fancy dinner, like with Marge or the Masons, it's always Petunia cooking it, not Harry. So, I don't think Harry cooked or cleaned for them since he could walk, I mean Petunia is a perfectionist about how her house looks, so she wouldn't let a small child who'd do a subpar work do it.

But he was definitely put to work as either punishment or when the Dursleys wanted him occupied. And considering he mentions "plenty of practice" when he's 12 and he spent the last two years at Hogwarts, he likely started doing chores earlier than that, but old enough to use a mop properly. So, I'd guess he started helping to clean the house around the time he was 6 or 7 years old, and started cooking on occasion only very recently before the books start in all likelihood.

The really shitty thing about all his chores is that Dudley isn't doing anything and it's just Harry. This difference is one Harry was always aware of and considers unfair, because it is incredibly unfair. The fact he is forced to do work and gets punished when the other child in the house doesn't adds to the sense of worthlessness the Dursleys already make Harry feel.

Uncle Vernon in general is pretty violent towards Harry, shown in the first quote in this post and in others:

Harry ran down the stairs two at a time, coming to an abrupt halt several steps from the bottom, as long experience had taught him to remain out of arm’s reach of his uncle whenever possible.

(HBP, 45)

I wanted to add the imprisonment in CoS, because the treatment is truly subhuman:

The following morning, he paid a man to fit bars on Harry’s window. He himself fitted a cat-flap in the bedroom door, so that small amounts of food could be pushed inside three times a day. They let Harry out to use the bathroom morning and evening. Otherwise, he was locked in his room around the clock.

(CoS, 28)

They treat him like an actual prisoner. They let him out to the bathroom twice a day! Like WTF! This is so not okay I don't have words.

As for not calling him by his name...

“We could phone Marge,” Uncle Vernon suggested. “Don’t be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.” The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn’t there — or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn’t understand them, like a slug.

(PS, 19)

They usually refer to Harry simply as "boy" or "the boy", they also use "you" when talking to him or "him" about him, but not his name, except one time in PS when Vernon is faking being nice:

“Er — yes, Harry — about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking…you’re really getting a bit big for it…we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley’s second bedroom.

(PS, 30)

Considering how Harry mentions they often don't speak to him, but at him or about him, definitely suggests they don't use his name often. Vernon seems very odd about using Harry's name, and we see it isn't something common, but it does happen. I think Harry did always know his name though, I'm sure he asked, and regardless of how awful the Dursleys are, Petunia likely told him his name in the same breath she talked about how his father was a drunkard that got both him and Lily killed.

We also know they don't do anything for Harry's birthday, and Harry doesn't think they remember it:

The lighted dial of Dudley’s watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he’d be eleven in ten minutes’ time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.

(PS, 35)

So, it's very plausible the Dursleys never told Harry when his birthday is and that he had to discover it himself somehow.

TL;DR

Harry's abuse at the Dursleys was awful. It included physical abuse from all three Durslesy and periods of starvation.

He was put to chores like cleaning the house, but it wasn't a constant thing where he worked like a house elf. It actually seems Petunia did most of the cooking.

He probably only started cleaning when he was 6 or 7 at the youngest. And cooking is likely a later development.

Harry was allowed to sit at the table and even watch TV on rare occasions but usually didn't get to choose what to watch. It means Harry should be somewhat aware of muggle pop culture at the time.

Harry, in general, wasn't really treated as human. Not having his name used, only talked at, not having his birthday celebrated, not getting pocket money or anything of his own. Not to mention being forced to sleep in the cupboard or on the floor (in the shack on the sea in PS) and getting his food through a cat flap on his bedroom door like an actual prisoner in CoS.

So, while fanon portrayals make the Dursleys worse than they actually are, they are plenty awful on their own. Believe me, if I could throttle them, I would.

[yuki2sksksk]

Back again with other fan arts for Severing Hell's Leash by @lavenoon 🤭

Starting with the scene of Barbara peppery spraying everyone, because this is literally a fav scene of mine even in canon where she did it with Draal and Jim (rip my boys eyes lol)

Next is the scene of Jim and Angor Rot in the backyard talking (aka the start of their friendship please please please)

Chat, what are you going to do if a kid resembles a lot of your friend that you killed 😔

Didn't know I need Deya and Angor Rot's friendship that ends with angst UGH UGH SUDGAVSSJSB thank you Lavenoon 😊

Jim is about to add another redeemed antagonist into his family tree. Strickler is his step dad, Nomura is the wine aunt, Angor Rot...is the weird uncle nobody talks about and has an insane lore.

Also I just noticed about Angor Rot's design, specifically the colour. I don't know if it's coincidental or not but I LOVE LOVE how they chose to make his eyes turn white when he lost his soul. I thought they'd turn duller color of yellow but nope!

It's really interesting for me because the white colour is a colour that reflects back all the visible wavelengths of light, contrast to the colour of black that absorbs all. So, in a way, the white colour rejects any light. It holds nothing at all.

And you know what the usual saying about eyes?

Eyes are the window to your soul.

When his eyes turn white, it means there's nothing there. No soul. Empty.

Also Lavenoon, I love the GIF you made! Yeah give that skinny skeleton looking something fuzzy and warm! I wanted to draw Angor in a sweater but!! Maybe later 😀

[hminnj]

Unckuna/reader (he's very dear to my heart), mostly uncle nephew banter tbh, i needa get dividers lowkey, very short lil drabble

-

Sukuna thinks he's lost his mind.

He means it figuratively, obviously. But at this point he's sure he should've physically lost it already.

His nephew- of which he is currently babysitting- is currently on his couch, not a care in the world, half empty family sized bag of chips that was unopened not too long ago (fatface), kicking his feet like an adolescent boy in love, greasy fingers on the remote, and scrolling through youtube shorts on the tv???

Oh and worst of all he forgot to mention, the brat is wearing shoes.

The fact that he's even related to this thing makes him want to kill everyone else in the room and then himself.

"Itadori Yuji..." Sukuna seethes, it takes everything in him to not rip the brat's skeleton right out of his skin. He thinks it would be easy, if only a certain three people would let him (a shame, truly).

Yuji spares him a glance (the disrespect).

"Oh whats up unc"

"And what do you think you're doing?" The older of the two walks over and blocks the view of the tv, glaring down with his hands on his hips.

Yuji stares for a moment before opening his stupid food hole (as Sukuna describes it), "Have you ever seen that one meme, no one looks good from below? Well you're the version where they-"

Sukuna promptly picks him up by his foot, shaking him as a few chip bits fall off Yuji's shirt, "I literally just cleaned the house you freeloading fiend. Have you seen what a mess you've made?"

"You clean the house everyday you freak. Now put me down! I swear I was gonna clean up afterwards anyways." Yuji attempts to wiggle his way out of Sukuna's grip, he gets nowhere (predictably).

"Brat. You don't even know where the vacuum is, were you planning on picking them up one by one?"

"Ugh you're such a housewife, if I didn't know any better I'd assume you- MMM"

The sound of the code being put into the front door quickly stops Sukuna who shoves his free hand into Yuji's face, effectively shutting him up as well.

Sukuna grins when he sees you walk in, holding Yuji as if he were a first place catch for the annual bass fishing competition.

The sight makes you pause and contemplate your life decisions.

"Sukuna... put Yuji down, all the blood's rushing to his head."

Yuji is dropped immediately.

"OWWWWWWWW"

Your eyes trail around the living space and then back to the two children, "Does someone want to explain what's happening? And why there are shoe tracks in my house?" You make eye contact with your husband (who practically regresses 15 years in age when your nephew is around), he looks at you then uses his middle finger to point at Yuji.

Said boy, still recovering on the floor, whines, "Mann why can't I have a cool wine aunt and normal uncle?"

"Yuji if I were a wine aunt I wouldn't even be your aunt. Now are you gonna clean up this mess or should I make you?"

"On it! Whatever you say ma'am!" Yuji scrambles away after saluting and then pops back up from the hallway, realizing something crucial.

"Where are the cleaning supplies again?"

You sigh.

.

Yuji's finished with cleaning when he joins (intrudes, in Sukuna's words) you and his uncle on the couch, another episode of criminal minds running in the background.

You've changed from your work clothes into something more comfortable, snuggled into Sukuna's side as you start, "You know, if Spencer existed in real life I'd consider leaving you for him."

The tattooed man can only cringe in disgust at your behavior, "We're literally married, woman. You would leave me for that??"

He gives you and the tv an incredulous look. You can only giggle at his reaction, "You're like a child sometimes." His disapproval worsens, and you consider continuing to tease him but go with your better judgement (before he decides not to cook dinner, even though he always does anyways).

"I'm sorry hubby, forgive me?" Sukuna scoffs but accepts the affection anyways, he always does.

Yuji's voice interrupts the moment, "Ew you guys are so nasty (his parents are way worse), but speaking of children... when am I gonna get a cousin?"

The young boy can only watch as you two glance at each other then back at him, casually dropping an "Oh, Soon" then moving on completely. It takes him a second to process.

"WHAT."

-

unckuna my love

reblogs & comments are greatly appreciated :]

thank you for reading, have a blessed week

not fully proofread or edited

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Valentines Day Shana! I need some Merlin, either Lord de Bois or Ygraine Time travel continuation up to you ❤️❤️

a continuation of 1 2 3

His first duty as a manservant is at dinner and literally his only job is to stand by the wall and refill Arthur's goblet.

It's a family dinner held in Arthur's father's rooms rather than the great hall where various knights and nobles eat. When the eldest Lord de Bois walks in he sees Merlin standing there and frowns. "Who are you?"

Merlin opens his mouth and nothing comes out.

"Arthur's keeping him hostage," says a low, amused voice, and he looks over to see the younger - oh, this is stupid. Agravaine drops into a chair at the table and begins picking at the grapes. "He really has to stop doing that. It's such an unseemly habit."

He's not being held hostage!

Is he?

"Elyan isn't a hostage," Tristan says, exasperated. "Did he find you in the woods too?"

It takes Merlin a moment to realize he's speaking to him, but he still can't make any sound come out of his suddenly dry mouth.

"Ealdor," Agravaine says, amused. "You did tell him to deal with it himself."

The door opens and Arthur enters, Amabel's hand in his. "Talking about me while I'm not around?" He picks Amebel up and drops her into Agravaine's lap, who rabidly needs to readjust to keep the bowl of grapes from spilling everywhere "Where's my aunt? You don't have the time to gossip about me when she's around."

"Gossiping about you is our favorite pastime," Agravaine says, settling his daughter with one hand and pushing away the bowl from her reaching fingers with another.

"Arthur, who is this?" Tristan demands. It's odd seeing them next to each other - they share blue eyes and blonde hair but not much more than that. Arthur must take after his mother.

"Merlin," he says. "He's my new servant."

Tristan's eyebrows push together. "You hate having a personal servant."

"This one is useless," he says and Merlin's ears burn. "He's absent the most annoying qualities of properly trained servants."

He has no idea what that means.

"Okay," Tristan says slowly. "But why is he here?"

Actually, that's a good question. He's the only servant in the room. But Elyan had said -

"So that when he fumbles and spills a pitcher of wine on me, it's not in front of the whole castle."

"Hey!" he protests then pales. The pitcher does suddenly feel unexpectedly heavy.

Agravaine's lips twitch. "He speaks."

Tristan now looks just amused as his brother. "Oh, I see. Well, you do like a project."

Merlin's not sure if being a project is better than being a hostage.

[tritoch]

I wish people were willing to have a slightly broader or more expansive understanding of FFXIV's women because I think there's so much there in terms of easily-unearthed subtext that no one really thinks about! And I don't mean this in a "people need to re-evaluate their response to the women of Stormblood" way (though I do think that's largely true), I mean I think fandom's understanding even of the women it mostly likes is pretty weak. And you can say that's because the women are underwritten, and I won't argue that they couldn't use more attention from the writing, but that doesn't prevent you from analyzing them the way you can any character in fiction.

Like everyone's always like, oh, Y'shtola and Krile are like your snarky wine aunts, haha. But...Sharlayan is a pretty ossified and patriarchal society from what we see of it in Endwalker and places like the AST quests. Can we open ourselves to the possibility that it means something that almost every young Sharlayan woman we meet, almost all young women in academia, tends to be a little sharp and quick on the retort? The arch and snarky ways in which those two carry themselves reflect in some sense the facts that Krile is almost literally a nepo baby woman in STEM who is barely older than her students, while Y'shtola learned her behaviors from her much older female mentor, a woman who hated Sharlayan academic culture so much she literally abandoned it to go live in a cave.

Or like, Alisaie! Fan jokes and meta frequently buy into her tendency to characterize the dynamic between her and Alphinaud as a jock/nerd, street savvy extrovert vs book smart introvert thing. Except, tragically, Alphinaud's highest stat is 100% Charisma and he absolutely pulled in his student days. All his greatest achievements are diplomatic, and he very easily develops strong friendships with people in every culture you learn about. Alisaie is the determined, sensitive genius who revolutionizes Eorzea by proving the tempered can be healed. She's just permanently carrying a chip on her shoulder that while she and her brother are remembered as the youngest students in Studium history, actually he got in six months before her, a fact pretty much no one else ever brings up once. She's constantly fuming over the fact that he was marginally better than her in certain specific ways in high school, and looking to differentiate them in ways that actually fail to credit her own obvious strengths and accomplishments. I think that's so fun! It's so juicy, and it's equally good for comedy or serious character studies.

Venat is a genuinely benevolent hero who has no compunction sacrificing lives for the greater good. Minfilia is kind and compassionate and clearly on some level actually buys into the narrative of her own unique moral authority. Ysayle is a revolutionary firebrand with almost no concern for the common man, whose death reflects her Javert-like inability to reconcile her own romantic belief in justice with the tragic ways her blinkered worldview (born largely of trauma) let her be easily co-opted by a violent system. But even people who like these characters rarely move past surface-level reads (people who think Venat is just an all-loving mommy figure make me want to fucking die). The fandom is allergic to drawing connections the game doesn't draw, and fails to recognize that FFXIV is a game where characters voice understandings of themselves and others that are wrong about as often as they're right.

You can already see the ways that women like Wuk Lamat and Cahciua and Sphene are getting flattened or losing their shading in fan reception and it's boring. Like I'm not even saying this because you should take female characters more seriously or something (though you should), I'm literally just bored to tears sometimes and if you guys turn Wuk Lamat into another Hot Dumb Jock Lady, I will combust.

[snowprincesa1]

{seducing the prince }

Jacaerys x F!Lannister!Reader

Summary: Jacaerys knew he would have to marry for duty, he didn’t know his duty would be to you.

Trigger warnings:‼️Coitus and jacaerys a whipped man playing hard to get 😘😘😘😘

Special thanks to my babe/beta reader @luckytoucan 💗💗💗💗

Jacaerys always hated you. Hated how close you were to the Aegon and aemond in his childhood. How you always preferred their company over his. He tried so hard to make you notice him, to make you perhaps feel and inch of what he felt for you. Each time those dreams get shattered by the sound of your laugh with helaena and daeron over him. He didn’t fail to see how Aegon and aemond had indoctrinated you with hatred against him and his brothers. He had to hate you, hate your pride and pettiness, the snobby Lannister attitude you held. He saw you as one of the Queen’s party hoping for Aegon the elder to ascend the throne over his mother and him.

But sure enough that did not happen. Queen Rhaenyra ascended the throne and when jacaerys turned sixteen named his heir to the crown infront of all the lords and ladies of the court. He would forget you, forget how you looked walking through the gardens with his aunt, he would forget the way you danced, the way you haunted his very soul. Jacaerys felt himself grow mad with the constant thoughts of you blurring his mind turning it into a slurry. He needed to get away from you and the clasp you had of him. He needed you gone from his sight and away so he could just lose memory of you entirely. Over the years your cruel teasing did not weaken, often throwing him a flirty smile knowing damn well that nothing on this earth would ever get you to marry a bastard, crown prince or not, you took pleasure in complimenting as to how strong he had grown. Every ‘compliment’ you threw was an insult in disguise.

You can only imagine the shock he felt when his mother there queen Rhaenyra betrothed him to you years later, his stomach flipped upside down, in excitement? Fear? Annoyance? He looked over to you and there you were smiling at him as though you held the upper hand.

“You are not upset by this? Not even in the slightest?” He asked surprised as he grew more frustrated at the fact you seemed so alright with this.

“If i marry you I will be queen someday, surely you are just an addition that comes with the arrangement” you said sipping from your wine, amused by his reactions. Of course, he should have expected this from a Lannister, no matter how pretty they come you cannot change their nature. Always so smug, he wanted to make you feel the way he did. He was so helplessly in love with you but deemed your lannister self incapable of love, too smug to even care to feel a thing. Now as your betrothed he found himself at an advantage..

You on the other side always tried to to revert back to the past and change the way you behaved towards him. You quite literally tried to charm your way into his heart but all your actions seemed to be of no avail. He always shut down every smile with a polite nod, every kind word you said was met with his disdain, he quite literally at this point assumed your whole existence as a mockery towards him. You believed your betrothal would soften his heart up but instead it hardened it. The man could not seem to bear your presence, always growing agitated.

You attempted to win him over with gifts, with kisses which he averted from, with physical affection holding his hand and batting your pretty eyes at him, he showed no reaction to these. You often attempted to flirt with him in high valyrian which he had perfected, instead of appreciating your effort, he took the time to correct your pronunciation and grammatical errors.

You embroidered for him. You attempted to melt his heart by talking of the future where the two of you would have little children. Nothing worked, the most infuriating part was that with all the time you spent swaying him you felt yourself grow more fond of him yourself.

Whenever jacaerys sparred with Nettles, a supposed dragon seed brought to court because of her fierce skills in combat, you felt your heart feel the pang of anger and sadness. He seemed more fond of his uncles over you at this point and you felt absolutely helpless. You wanted to leave the past behind and win his affection. Perhaps that is not what fate wanted for the two of you. You walked away from the sparring ground and jacaerys noticed your absence in his mind.

The whole court was not blind to this tug of war game between the two of you, the jealousy that lingered between other possible lovers the two of you had. His brothers teased him incessantly over how he kept your embroidery in a special box in the cupboard and how he blew up if anyone attempted to touch what you gave him. Jacaerys loved the attempts you made towards him to make up for your past behaviour, he loved every moment of it. Every smile of yours would replay over and over in his mind once it was over. Thoughts of future children with you sent his blood rush to his nether regions, to see you carry his children.

He would often dress up far better than he usually did for sparring lessons in case you’d visit..or rather he’d dress down, discarding his sweaty shirt only if you were in the vicinity.

Nothing bothered Jacaerys more than seeing you with his uncles, at princess helaena’s name day party. His angered expression not was one he attempted to hide. you could feel his glare towards his uncle Daeron, a man of the same age as him. Daeron was mischievous and cheeky who also like everyone enjoyed annoying jacaerys as the two of them always saw each other as rivals even though they shared a wet nurse. Jacaerys could take it no longer dragging you away from dinner, his hand lingered on your arm, holding you firmly but not enough to hurt you.

“How many times must you repeat this song and dance?” He hissed pushing your back into the cold pillar “why can’t you leave me be?” He asked, his hands holding yours as you struggled in his hold, his hands had covered the entirety of your wrist as though it was nothing.

“Can you not see? How blind can you be?” You asked in an angry tone. His grasp did not leave your hands as he suddenly turned you around pressing you against the rough pillar wall pinning your hands to your lower back as you felt his figure croon over you. “Why do the gods have to make me put up with you” you felt his hot breath on your ear and the heat of his body radiating your own. You were glad he could not see your flustered face.

“I’ve only ever tried to get your attention” you voiced out, on hearing your voice he pressed you further into the bricks. You could hear him chuckle.

“So you throw yourself at my uncle?” jacaerys answered his grip tightening around your wrists. He felt conflicted a part of him died to believe your words, that you wanted his attention, the other ran his imagination wild seeing you with Daeron in uncompromising positions. “ah yes, they’re true born and i am..” he trailed off his hands abruptly let your wrist go. “And what do they tell you that it is a pity that your beauty is being wasted on me, a strong prince as you once said” his voice echoed in the empty corridors, he had lost all awareness of his surrounding.

“No! I did not say that! I have played very trick in the book, I have used every tactic anything to get you to like me and the only time you seem to ever even look at me is if I am with another. You think I like parading myself in this tight gown for no reason? Have you even seen my dress or have you been too caught up in your hobby of making me your enemy”

“Yes I have seen the way you look!” He answered angrily. He ran a hand through his hair as he looked at you.

“Then tell me how do I look!” You yelled back you felt tears if frustration bubble at the rims of your eyes, you looked away quickly would this how the entirety of the marriage would go? With you begging for him to notice you? You needed him to notice you at this point, want was no longer sufficient.

“Beautiful” jacaerys said the words he had held in his mouth for so long “So beautiful that if I take one glance it’ll never be enough, if I get one taste that too would not suffice, my greed, my lust is insatiable for you” you knew you had him then, he was yours and yours to keep. Your efforts weren’t in vain.

“You do not hate me then?” You asked surprised as his eyes watched you intently at your every move, what were you planning now..

“Oh make no mistake I do, I’ve always hated you. You’ve always played me as though I was a game. I am not my lady I would have remember that I am the crown prince of the seven kingdoms, my parentage does not matter because I am a Targaryen” he said he turned to leave one more.

You walked towards him and grabbed his face in yours, he admitted that he thought you beautiful and in your eyes that was a victory in itself, this was your chance to seduce your brunette prince as you closed the distance between your faces by planting a gentle kiss on his lips, in hopes it would sway his feelings about you. He gasped against your mouth feeling your lips press against his so perfectly. His hands instantly wrapped around your waist feeling the fabric of your gown crumbling it in his hands, “you shouldn’t hate me, sweet prince” you teased him, habits die hard. As his lips fought your own for dominance, his right hand reaching up to hold your face as he drank you in, the moment your lips parted for a gasp his hot tongue found its way into yours, your mouths in total sync, it was hard to keep your mind sharp now, just as he did you grace into your senses.

That’s how you found yourself with your dress ripped to shreds and your leg propped on his shoulders as he thrusted into you sharply, he made no attempt to stop any time soon, you gasped and moaned and claws at his chest anything to make you feel as though you had control over your betrothed. He drove you mad stopping just when you were about to peak, he denied you of cumming over and over leaving you teary eyed moaning as he brought you such pleasure and pain. If he denied you once more you felt as though you would collapse from the sheer need.

This was your punishment for everything you had ever done to him, every smirk, every mocking word, you felt yourself bend in ways you never thought possible. Jacaerys felt up the fat of your thighs as he leaned in the two of you in to fetch a passion filled kiss. You felt his heavy length press into your sensitive spot and he smirked on seeing you squirm under him as so, release was a mirage so close yet so far. “I should not let you cum, you do not deserve it�� he said kissing the leg that sat on his shoulder.

“Tell me how I can win your forgiveness my prince” You moaned out feeling him hitting that one spot that made your head go hazy as you looked to at him with lust drunken eyes.

Jacaerys smirked “there’s nothing you can do” he grunted out letting moans of his escape as his eyes shut from the intensity of the pleasure, perhaps he was being too cruel to you..

“You are right I do not want your forgiveness, I want more— I need you to be mine” you whined out, the pure euphoria of having you in his arms, under him, needing him just like he prayed to the gods you would. His feelings perhaps were not entirely one sided.

“You already have me, do you not see?” He said truthfully holding your hand to his heart “it beats for you lioness” He whispered in your ear and you gasped from the sheer intimacy and lewdness of your hips moving into each other, the soft wet sounds emulating in the wide halls but now all you could focus was on the man before you, his fingers reached down to your nub rubbing a calloused finger over it, the right little circles along with the snapping of his hips made you throw your head back and moan in tears as you felt your release build up for the fourth time since jacaerys had edged you, your eyes filled with tears as you looked to your betrothed with pleasing eyes to let you cum.

Jacaerys could not find it in himself to deny you of your pleasure anymore as he felt you come hard with a shrill cry of his name. All over his tunic. He felt his own release build up seeing your fucked out look with a few more sloppy hard thrusts he gave you all his cum, strings of his seed trailed down your shaky legs. He swore this was the hardest he had orgasmed ever in his life, his breath lost as he plopped himself over you his head resting in the crook of your neck as you rolled his silky brown hair between your fingers.

“You mean it? You love me?” You asked feeling him hum on your neck placing soft kisses on it as the two of you sunk to your feet using the pillar as support as jacaerys peppered you with kisses.

“Lying has never been in my nature” he said “I have loved you since the moment you I laid my eyes on you, princess” he smiled pulling himself from your neck to gaze upon your afterglow, messy lip tint smeared all over your face from the bruising kisses he gave you. You gasped and playfully punched at his side. “Your little tactics to get me to love you were quite entertaining, I admit” he smirked kissing you once more” as the two of you embraced in the cold of the night you felt so warm with his arms over you.

“You’re telling me all my seduction tactics were never necessary?!” You asked bewildered at your betrothed, you saw jacaerys crack up laughing as though if your realisation was the funniest thing to him. He would have to make up for this he knew, he was always ready to turn the tables around and win your forgiveness with his own seduction tactics.

[spence-whore]

OMG! imagine a spencer x reader where they are super flirty and the team goes out to the bar and they finally kiss!!!

Late Nights and Long Overdue Conversations

Spencer Agnew x Reader

A/N this is a sort of short one but it’s sweet and simple. i struggle so hard with ranting flirty banter but i also find it so funny because everyone tells me i have a flirty personality. I will be switching back to writing these in the format of using ‘you’ instead of ‘they/them’! I will continue to make these gender fluid friendly for all of my pals though:) also, thank you so much for the support here recently??? I got a notification saying that I reached over 500 likes and that is fucking insane to me. I cannot thank you guys enough for reading these and showing them love<3 i love you guys loads!

Also, remember, I’m ass at editing these. So, overlook the mistakes.

.

.

.

.

.

The week had been beyond stressful for everyone. Everyone was constantly in shoots from 7am-7pm, working nonstop. There were photoshoots going on, video shoots, announcements going up for different kinds of merch, literally everything you could think of. It was finally Friday and a few people from the office decided to go out to this bar, that is near the office. Erin, Chanse, Angela, Courtney, Spencer, Trevor, Arasha, Shayne, and Y/N all stood on a sidewalk, waiting to enter the bar.

“Is she coming or not?” Chanse asked looking around at everyone.

Amanda had agreed to come as well but somehow disappeared before anyone had the chance to talk to her.

“I’m not sure, shoot her a text and ask.” Angela said looking over at Chanse, who stood between Trevor and Shayne.

“Actually, don’t. I just got a text from her.” Courtney said giggling and holding her phone up. “She says, “Have a great night. Sorry for disappearing but I was ready to get home, get my ass in bed in comfortable pjs, drink some wine, and watch this new true crime documentary I found.” She also sent this picture.” Courtney holds up phone up for everyone to see and everyone just laughs and shakes their head at Courtney. It was a photo of Amanda sitting in bed with a huge wine glass, looking like that stereotypical aunt that is the drunk at family get togethers.

“Hey, Y/N. It looks like you don’t have any competition tonight.” Erin mumbled in your direction while elbowing you and wiggling her eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” You ask confused.

Everyone looked in your direction and just chuckled. “Amanda is always going on about how attractive Spencer is. Now, you can take her place for the night and tell him yourself.” Erin said, shrugging her shoulders and stepped into the bar with everyone following.

You just tried to brush her comment off but the end of her sentence really stuck with you. “You can just tell him yourself.” Something about Spencer really is hitting differently tonight. He isn’t wearing a hoodie for once. He was wearing a striped short sleeve with a jean jacket and corduroy pants. He always looks adorable whenever he’s wearing comfortable clothing but he just looks really hot tonight.

Everyone grabbed drinks from the bar then split up. Erin, Chanse, Angela, and Courtney took shots then ran to the dance floor while Shayne, Spencer, Trevor, Arasha, and you grabbed a table over to the side.

“I just realized, I don’t think I have ever seen you drunk before, Y/N.” Arasha said while watching you take a sip of your margarita. “You’re like the shy, reserved type.”

You laughed for a second and shook your head, “That’s a good thing though. I’m a hot mess whenever I’m drunk.”

Spencer immediately jumps into the conversation, “You’re always a hot mess.” He stopped for a minute and just stared at you. “That was supposed to be a compliment or like, you know, calling you hot. I realize though that it comes off as an insult.”

Everyone, including you, lost it over Spencer sticking his foot in his mouth. “I didn’t take it rudely. I guess I know what you mean.” You snorted and took another sip of your margarita. “You’re a hot mess yourself.”

Shayne, Trevor, and Arasha got into their own little conversation, so Spencer turned a little to face you. “I’m shocked you aren’t over there with Erin and Courtney. I’ve noticed in the past you’re always glued to their sides whenever we’ve gone out.”

“As Erin said, I gotta be right here, making sure to constantly just remind you how hot you are.” You said nonchalantly and taking a drink while trying to not smile.

Spencer’s face got red but you didn’t comment on it, you just found it kind of odd. “I mean, I definitely am not complaining if it’s coming from you.”

There was some kind of weird tension in the air between the two of you but you didn’t think twice about it. You were both a little tipsy, so it was probably just the drinks.. right?

You could hear feet come running up beside you and felt hands on your bicep. “Y/N, you have to walk outside with me, Angela, and Erin. We need fresh air but we don’t want to walk outside alooooone.” Courtney whine from beside you.

You just laughed and stood up. “Well, Mr. Agnew, sorry to cut our conversation short but it looks like I have to go for a minute.”

Spencer looks at you dead serious and in the chosen voice says, “I hate to watch you go but love to watch you leave.”

Courtney started giggling like crazy and started pulling you towards to door to walk outside, where Angela and Erin were standing. The four of you walk outside and sit on these two benches that were off to the side of the building.

“So, what was that in there?” Erin asked giving you a suggestive look.

You looked at the group confused. “What was what?”

“Y/N, don’t act dumb dude.” Angela said then chuckled loudly. “You know exactly what she’s talking about.”

“I was just having a conversation with Spencer.” You said looking around and avoiding their looks.

“I was just having a conversation with Spencer.” Courtney said in a mocking tone, “You looked like you were practically drooling over him and he was staring at you hard.”

You sat in silence for a minute debating on to comment on it or not but then decided fuck it, the guys aren’t around. This is your opportunity to just talk about it.

“Okay, I might have some feelings for him.” You mumbled covering your face, “I don’t want to talk about it thought because I know he doesn’t feel the same.” You got up from the bench and started pacing.

“What do you mean he doesn’t feel like the same?” Erin asked and was looking at you as if you had two heads.

You stopped in front of the bench, facing the three in front of you. “He totally doesn’t feel the same. He only sees me as a friend.” You paused for a second again before deciding to just spill it all. “Guys, I have it fucking bad. Anytime I come into work, I’m always so excited to just talk to him. I feel like a little schoolgirl with a crush. I always want to be around him. He makes me feel so safe and never makes me feel stupid whenever I go on my hyper-fixation rambles. He’s just so fucking attractive, it gets under my skin. His stupid curly hair that I just want to run my fingers through. Don’t even get me started on his hugs. Anytime he has given me a hug, I just want to stand there in his arms forever. He always smells so good too. I know there’s a running bit that he smells like death sometimes but he has never smelt bad. Oh my god and don’t even get me started on..” You quit rambling realizing all three of the women in front of you look like they’re about to throw up and that’s whenever you feel like there’s someone standing right behind you.

“He’s right behind me, isn’t he?” You asked, quoting the meme.

“Uh, let’s walk in guys. I’m getting a bit cold.” Erin said standing up alongside Courtney and Angela.

You slowly turned around to face Spencer. “Heeeeey.” You said in defeat and just flopped down on the bench.

“Hey, sorry. If I knew you were confessing your undying love for someone, I would’ve just waited before coming over here.” Spencer said while shrugging his shoulders and sitting down beside you.

“Ha ha, very funny.” You responded glaring at the guy beside you. “You don’t have to act like you don’t know that I was talking about you.”

Spencer looked at you shocked for a minute then just laughed, “Wait, so your whole little confession thing was about me?”

“What all did you hear?” You asked putting your head in your hands.

“I’m not gonna lie, I did figure out it was me whenever you mentioned my ‘curly hair’ and the running bit that Shayne and Amanda joke about on the podcast, about me smelling like death.” He says sinking down a little in his bench.

You turned a little in the bench to face him and just started rambling, “I’m so sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I completely understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore or be around me. Erin just asked me and I just broke and started talking about all of the things-“

Spencer cut you off, “I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

You could feel your heart sinking and you immediately got sick to your stomach till you noticed the smile on his face.

You couldn’t focus on what he was saying because all you could think about is why is he smiling? He hates you now, doesn’t he? He’s never going to trust you again. Your thoughts were cut off by something warm on your face and that’s whenever you snapped out of it. You come to it and realize Spencer has his palms, holding your face.

“You didn’t hear one word I just said, did you?” Spencer asked laughing at you and squishing your face a little in the process.

You shook your head no slowly since his hands were holding your face.

He didn’t say anything. He just leaned forward and pressed his lips on yours. It was like everything froze in that moment.

It took a moment for you to process what had just happened before you leaned forward again and kissed him again quickly.

“Wait, so you do feel the same way?” You asked, staring at Spencer like a child who just found out they were going to Disney World.

“No, I just kiss my friends after they confess their feelings. Of course I do, you dork. We can talk all of this out tomorrow whenever we’re sober alright. Let’s just head back inside and get plastered. Deal?” Spencer said while standing up and offering you his hand.

“Deal, it is quite cold out here.” You responded taking his hand.

He let go of your hand for a moment to take his jean jacket off. He holds his jean jacket out to you and gets this shit eating grin on his face.

“Here, you can wear this. I was getting kind of hot anyways. You can smell it all night since you apparently like to be a little weirdo and smell me.” He says trying to not laugh.

“That’s not what I meant!” You got defensive and tried to explain yourself before you noticed Spencer was silently laughing to himself.

“I was teasing you. Now, let’s head back inside and get bullied by everyone for finally not being wimps and admitting our feelings.”

[primordial-shade]

Minotaur Partner Headcanons

Hellloooo I’m back, very sorry for being away but honestly I uploaded those previous two posts on a whim and came back from Spain to my tumblr having loads of notifications. SO thank you and here’s another segment of my Monster Lover Headcanons with the Minotaur! One a bit of a Greek fix lately so here we go.

Background

Minotaurs. Big beefy and sweet as all hell.

Headcanon for how they started? Easy, out Mr Original, Asterion the sweet poor lamb (BTW for those who maybe don’t know that was the Minotaur’s original name) did actual kill the sacrifices but tried to help them but they all fled in fear of him and died in the Labyrinth except one, a lovely lady I’m going to call Hemera.

She ended up staying in the labyrinth with Asterion, falling in love and determined to get them both out.

Theseus fucks along and when he’s about to kill her beloved she knocks him the fuck out, uses the yarn to get them all out, then fucks off with her hubby to the Mountains and lets everyone think Theseus killed him by leaving behind part of his broken horn.

They start a farm up in the mountains (With support from Asterions mother Persiphae and his sisters and eventually his brother in Law Dionysus who are happy Asterion is alive and happy cuz FUCK MINOS.)

Eventually they have several kids (Adorable as fuck) and a thriving mountain farm that the kiddos inherited.

As such Minotaurs are all related, and as such they often seek human partners.

Minotaurs like in mountainous regions, often protected by the God Dionysus, whose wife is all their many times great aunt who was forced to marry Theseus and tried to kill him and only gave him the yarn so her brother could kill him and use it to get out we love you Adriane <3

They grow lots of things but they are famous for wine 😉

White, red, rose, dessert. They make every type and its so fucking good.

Maybe you’re a wine coniseur, maybe you decided to go visit the farms on holiday, maybe you’re a local they trade with or a worker on the farm.

Needless to say when you catch a Minotaurs eye, you are staying for good.

SFW

Big sweethearts. Big beefy adorable sweethearts. Muscled as fuck and strong, with big soulful eyes and soft fur and hnghhghhg

I got fucking sidetracked

Anyway, Minotaur’s are very family orientated and all work on the huge collective farms in various roles. Don’t worry, wether or not you can contribute to the farm is moot, you’re their love and you don’t have to prove yourself in anyway and also if you’re human they kinda get overprotective and its like, ‘no please don’t help we don’t want you to get bruised or tired we love you just go and relax and let us do all the hard work baby <3.’

The hardest of workers, baby if you have a minotaur partner one of your main jobs is teaching them not to overwork themselves because they just wanna be good and make sure everything is good and they can’t stand doing nothing or not taking care of you.

If they could physically carry you around all the time, and this is more about your want to walk because they could carry you around all the time, you’re their Love, their sweet delicate loves. Please let them carry you around, it makes them so happy.

Their favourite thing in the world is taking care of you.

You’re hungry? They will literally go out to the farm and find the juiciest, best tasting produce and will hand feed it to you.

You have achy muscles? Oh poor baby, let them get their big strong hands and soothe all those aches and pains away.

If you do the same for them??

Ooooh, love, love love love.

They’re favourite thing? Honestly is when you lay down and they can curl up and put their head on your lap, letting you scratch their heads and between their horns.

Ooooh you scratch between their horns or behind their ears?? Very happy Minotaur, very happy wiggly minotaur. You’ll be lucky if you can get up for the next few hours, this is a pleasure that is rare and cherished.

They will also always show off. They can’t help it they just so want to impress you.

They’ll play fight with other Minotaurs in front of their loves, pick up heavy things, lift you up and carry you around.

They love making flower crowns too, and any crafts they take up they’ll make you something.

They love being praised. They absolutely love it, please praise them. Tell them how strong they are, how sweet they can be, how soft there fur is or how lovely their eyes are. They will melt, making soft little ‘moo’ sounds out of sheer pleasure.

They will also praise you constantly.

Your talents, your looks, even how you breathe. If it can be praised they will do it.

They also take a little longer to fall in Love, it’s a long term distrust thing, but once they do they fall *hard*.

And they will do anything in their power to prove this love to you. They love hard and they love deeply.

Bless their hearts but for a long time they’ll probably act like a Minotaur in love until one moment when they see you holding  a baby Minotaur, or if the sun catches on your face the right way or even just sitting together and drinking something warm and suddenly it’s like a switch goes off in their heads.

“I love this person. ILOVE THIS PERSON!!” Nothing but joy and love and warmth.

Very physically affectionate. Hugs, cuddles, handholding, licking, kissing….

Yeah, their love language is love and praise. Which leads us into

NSFW:

So Minotaurs are big. In every way.

Not only are they generally built like strongmen. All muscles and covered in a nice thick layer of fat, male and female Minotaur are built this way.

Big muscles, big breasts and pecs, fat cocks and pussies. Everything is big and ready for you to feast upon.

One of the major things they like doing to you is lick.

Their tongues are thick and long, and they love to lick the taste of your salty sweat from your skin, to lick your salty semen and tangy arousal from your pussy or cock. They long to spread you open and lock you clean or flick their tongue over your most sensitive parts.

Sit on their face. Don’t give them any bullshit about being to heavy they are fucking Minotaurs and you will sit on their face so help them Dionysus.

Suffocation??? Who gives a shit about that, fucking sit on them and let them eat your ass/pussy out!!!!! If they die they die, and they will die with no regrets.

They are so soft with you though, loving touches and praising how good you taste and feel around and in them. How good you sound calling their names and begging for them. Such a darling thing, a sweet pretty love.

Yeah they are the kings/queens of accidental overstim. It’s always just one more orgasm, one more sweet baby, just give me one more. God they love you so much, please let them keep going, please just one more orgasm, just one more sweet orgasm.

Your legs will be shaking, you’ll be cockdumb/pussydrunk to the point you can barely speak but you keep going because you love them so much and gods it feels so fucking good.

You will be covered in fluids. Cum, semen, spit, all over the place. Covering your skin, filling your mouth, filling you. There will not be an area untouched by them and you love it.

[artyarchivehoard]

COOKOUT WITH THE BOYS COME GET SUM

Dust trying to get everyone in the picture like:

“Aight everybody move in, Boss d’you wanna be-"

“No.”

”Dust you literally can’t see me.”

“Im WORKING on it, if you’d just wait— HORROR FUCK OFF”

“Daaamn I be looking fine with this lighting, Dust take the pic we’re ready”

“YOUR BIGASS HEAD IS IN THE WAY YOU CANT SEE KILLER.”

“His fault for being a shortass.”

”I won’t comment on that. Dust, we don’t have time for this, we need to move.”

“I’ll do it, give it here—”

“NOOOOO”

”Smile everyone!”

Fineline is an undertale au that has been living in me and my irl friend’s (the writer’s) brain for the past 4 years and now it’s finally getting life. Basically found family bad sanses with a lot of self inserts, random ocs I make them interact with, and a healthy dose of shipping.

Their physical designs aren’t too far from accepted fanon but I think their personalities are quite different. Nightmare is a bit more chill and has massive gossipy wine aunt vibes. Dust is just a tad stupid and the most extroverted of the group. Horror is the resident chef and is a big softie with a scary face and no concept of societal norms. Killer is the most different because he’s the calm, dead-inside always bored one, trying and failing to get the others to chill out.

It would be amazing to have asks for them to answer and be able to share their shenanigans with other people so I hope you guys like their silliness.

Nightmare belongs to JokuBlog

Killer belongs to RahafWabas

Dust belongs to Ask-Dusttale

Horror belongs to Sour-Apple-Studios

[toomuchracket]

day drinking (ross x girlband gf!reader smut)

first ever ross smut fic can u believe. anyway. summer75. warnings for exhibitionism and everyone being vaguely slaggy. enjoy <3

you're rinsing glasses in the kitchen when the doorbell goes. quickly wiping your hands, you weave your way through the house to the front door, scooping the cat up so she can't make a beeline for the street as soon as you open the door. when you do, you smile at the sight of gabbriette and matty, the latter holding a wine carrier in one hand. “hi, my darlings!”

“hello to you, too, gorgeous,” gabbriette pulls you into a quick hug, cooing at the kitten and taking the bag from her fiancé as she saunters towards the kitchen. “sorry we're late. one of us couldn't decide on an outfit, and it wasn't me.”

matty rolls his eyes, dropping a kiss on your head. “god forbid i wanna look good enough to keep up with the two of you - you really do look lovely, darling,” he ruffles your hair, before catching sight of the cat and beaming at her. “and who are you, baby?”

“oh, i forgot you haven't met nico yet!” you hold the cat up, and matty takes her in his arms eagerly, holding her as if she was a baby. “isn't she cute?”

“i'm literally gonna take her home with me.”

you snort, crossing the threshold to the kitchen, where gabbriette's already assembling snacks. “good luck trying to get her past ross. that's his baby you're holding right there, you know.”

gabbriette giggles. “i love that for him.”

“yeah, it's cute. now,” you clap your hands. “drinks? we've got… most things.”

“margs?”

“whatever you want, wifey, you'll get,” you kiss her nose, and she and matty both giggle; you kiss his, too, for equality, and they both laugh even harder. “ross has got a guinness surge machine outside now, matty, if you want…”

he shoves the cat into your arms and speeds out to the garden as quickly as you've ever seen him, so fast you half expect to see a looney tunes-esque trail of dust behind him. his wife-to-be sighs. “he's nuts.”

you bump your hip against hers on your way to lay the cat on her climbing tree. “and you're gonna marry him.”

“yeah,” her pretty face goes all dreamy, and it warms your heart. after a beat, though, she winks cheekily. “and then you're gonna marry his best friend.”

your cheeks burn, but still lift into a smile at the thought of tying the knot with ross; neither of you have explicitly brought it up to each other, but you hope it'll happen one day. he is the love of your life, after all. “well, maybe someday,” you busy yourself with salting the rim of two coupé glasses, and adding lime to the tequila and agave already in the cocktail shaker. “i just don't know if he wants to, y'know?”

gabbriette scoffs. “oh, please. he looks at you so intimately that we all feel like we're intruding just by being in the vicinity, and you don't know if he wants to marry you? come on, babe.”

she's got a point, to be fair. ross's gaze is so sweetly intense that it sometimes makes you weak in the knees, so overwhelming that you have to look away or bury your face into his chest to cope; you've a sneaking suspicion that's why he does it, because it gives him an excuse to hold you close and softly rub your back and whisper that he loves you into your hair.

some days, though, your boyfriend doesn't need an excuse to be affectionate with you like that, and today is seemingly one of those days. practically as soon you've stepped outside to join him and the rest of your friends, gabbriette in tow, ross is waving you over to him with a “c'mere, love, sit with me”. when you put your cocktail on the little side table and oblige, he tugs you further onto his lap, kissing your temple; you sink into his chest, warm from the afternoon sun, and take in the scene in front of you. george is deep in conversation with carly, whose son is half lying across a sunlounger and half across his aunt charli; she’s talking to matty - insouciantly draped on a beanbag next to you - and adam, who shuffles along the rattan couch so gabbriette can sit down. she takes a sip of her margarita and nods at you approvingly. “this is good, babe.”

you wink. “that's the tequila you got me for my birthday.”

“can i try?” ross's face screws up when he tries the drink - very cutely, though. “christ, that's strong.”

“maybe you're just a lightweight,” you tease, flicking his nose. “can't hack it anymore. oh my god, maybe you're getting old.”

he bites playfully at your fingers to make you laugh. “am not!”

before you can respond, baby hann chips in with all of the tact a three-year-old can have - which is, you know, none at all. “yeah you are.”

he looks pleased with himself as the grown-ups burst into laughter, cuddling into charli when she kisses his head proudly. you lean across to hi-five your nephew, while ross rolls his eyes and tries (poorly) to keep the smile from his face. “and here i thought we were pals, mate.”

“we are! but you're still old.”

the laughter increases, even ross chuckling. you love these moments, you really do, sat in the sunshine with the people you love most in the world, everyone happy and bright. the atmosphere lingers even after the sun sets and the hanns head home, the youngest asleep in his mother's arms after a day spent stroking nico and playing football with his uncles and learning snippets of spanish from auntie gabbi; you stay curled up against ross, only moving to refill your drink or take a lazy hit of the joint being passed around the remaining six of you.

at some point - you've no idea what time it is, too tipsy and high and happy to take note of such trivial things - the breeze picks up slightly, passing over your bare legs and leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. you shiver, and ross looks down at you, concern in his warm eyes. “you cold, pretty girl?”

“little bit. my legs.”

he smiles, scooping you onto him and wrapping an arm around your knees. “better?”

“mhmm. thank you,” you pout, and he kisses you, slightly longer than could be considered polite amidst company. still, it's good. “love you.”

“love you too, baby.”

across from you, george pretends to retch. he giggles when you scowl at him, blowing you a kiss. “i'm taking the piss. you guys are cute.”

his other half pipes up. “and really fucking hot,” she downs the rest of her wine, and you brace yourself for her inevitable next statement. “i still maintain you'd make a killing on onlyfans, by the way.” 

the boys all shake their heads and mutter swear words in dismay, while you laugh. only gabbriette stays unaffected, taking a puff of her fiancé's cigarette and turning to charli. “oh, you wouldn't be able to handle watching them like that.”

charli cackles. “and you would?”

“maybe,” gabbriette smirks knowingly at you. “i'd happily try.”

you smirk right back. “yeah, i bet you would.”

she already has, live and in-person with her fiancé on ross's birthday, but charli and george don't need to know that. and, honestly, you don't need to be thinking about that night right now either, not when you're already slightly amorous from the drinks and the joint and just being in your boyfriend's arms. you have a sneaking suspicion that ross is aware that's how you feel; he adjusts you so you're sat more between his legs than on them, and calls a request to his friend. “matty, chuck us that blanket, will you?”

you squint up at your boyfriend as he spreads the fabric over your legs. “m'not that cold, baby.”

“no?” ross smiles, the somewhat manic glint in his eye sending shocks of anticipation through you - you know what that look means, and the way he lowers his voice to speak directly in your ear. “you don't need me to warm you up?”

heat floods through you, settling in your cheeks and underwear. “now?”

“no time like the present, love. s'your call, though.”

you glance at your friends, all four of them preoccupied in some sort of debate and getting progressively louder with each passing second, then look back at ross with a smile. “yes, please.”

“alright,” he leans down to kiss you, strategically timing it so your whimper at his hand sliding into your underwear is muffled by his lips. “not a sound, you hear me? not sharing you today, my girl.”

“mmmkay… oh, fuck,” you hiss against his mouth as two calloused fingers slip inside your needy cunt. “m'sorry, i just,” you exhale as ross gives you a second to adjust, before experimentally pulling out and beginning to slowly finger-fuck you. “feels really good.”

“i know, baby,” ross coos, centimetres from your face. “doing so well for me. keep it up, yeah? but,” he pulls back, shuffling you so it looks more like he's hugging you. “you're the hostess. don't be antisocial.”

fuck him.

but he won't let you do that if you disobey. so, instead, you take a deep breath, turning your head slightly so your friends can see more of your face. ross speeds up his movements - a test - and you feel him smile into your hair when you don't react other than clenching around him. “good girl.”

you smile softly at the praise, doing your best to focus on the conversation around you rather than what's happening inside you. for the most part, it's easy, ross's perpetual inability to fall out of rhythm working in your favour here - you quickly grow accustomed to the thrusting of his fingers and their tempo, the pleasure they're giving you firmly in the background behind the melody of your friends talking.

and then he changes angle.

you squeak, hastily turning it into a cough and praying nobody notices - unluckily, charli does, turning to look at you with concern. “you alright, babe?”

“yeah,” you manage to croak out, doing your best to trap ross's hand between your thighs so you can answer calmly. “just caught the smoke, i think. but please continue.”

you aren't sure whether that was aimed at her or ross. both oblige you, though, charli going back to yapping about a recent holiday while your boyfriend does his best to get you off. and it's working - the heel of his hand bumps against your clit with every thrust, while those long, long fingers of his hook into your g-spot and send sparks shooting through your nervous system. suddenly, george starts to look blurry as he talks across from you, and you make the executive decision to turn and snuggle into ross so nobody can see the tears in your eyes. being social be damned; you can't have your friends seeing you like this, because they'll put all the attention on you and ask what's wrong, and ross will stop. and wouldn't that be the worst thing of all, when you're as close to climax as you are?

ross knows you're about to cum, of course he does, and discreetly wipes your tears away before pressing his forehead to yours. to your friends, it would look like a tender moment, two lovers being affectionate, instead of the depravity it really is, with him murmuring “don't fight it, love. cum for me” and smiling when you obey with every muscle in your body tensed. the pleasure is almost blinding as it reaches its peak, manifesting in chattering teeth and the shaky exhale of breath that leaves your lips as you come down - despite it all, you smile into your boyfriend's chest, humming as he gently pulls his fingers from you and quickly brings them to his mouth. your eyes widen at the boldness, but ross simply giggles and whispers in your ear. “wasn't gonna waste it, was i?”

“you're an idiot,” you sigh, kissing him quickly and smiling at the faint tang of yourself on his tongue. “i love you, though. a lot.”

“love you, too,” ross kisses your nose. “wouldn't have fingered you in front of all our friends if i didn't.”

you smack him on the arm as he laughs, and you've just opened your mouth to respond when a familiar voice from the beanbag beside you cuts in, equally as quiet as you and ross. “fucking knew it. freaks.”

shit.

[luffyvace]

HEYYYY!! how are you?? i hope you’re doing well ❤️❤️

i was wondering if you could do a headcanon/story where reader is like the daughter of Dracule Mihawk but like she(or gender neutral) never met her mom, so when she was growing up Boa Hancock was like their cool auntie that she learned how to be a woman (doing makeup,painting nails, finding her style ect.)

ONLY IF YOU ARE COMFORTABLE THO, BTW I LOVEE YOUR WRITING 💕💕

HIII IM DOING GOOD ANON!! You dear? :)

i do female reader dw!! I’ll be using she/her as well, for reference

Awhh dadhawk <33

AUNTBOAAUNTBOAAUNTBOAAA!! She’d be the BEST most SPOILING wine aunt EVER🍷💄

Of course it’s alright honey! Alsooo TYSM!! I’m so glad you enjoy 😭💓💓

Being mihawk’s daughter has a lot of perks and literally no down slides. actually I half way take that back. The only down slide is that there’s a target on your head for those who are crazy enough to come for you. But that’s like a mere 00.1% and even then just because they come for you doesn’t mean they’ll get to you 🤡

especially since your the NUMBER ONE swordsman’s daughter.

Also this is really random but you probably meet zoro eventually, perona as well, they obviously stay with you for some time so perona and you likely get close. I imagine you would introduce her to boa and the three of you become a trio. You and Perona are her adorable nieces and boa is your doting, beautiful and totally awesome auntie :3

don’t get me wrong mihawk is a awesome father. He seems like a very responsible man and that he would not leave you out in the cold at the cost of his own life. He spoils you just as equally as boa does and although he’s not the most trusting man on earth, he wouldn’t dare break the bond you two have when he can’t replace it with your actual mother. At this point not that you wanted to.

Never meeting your mom may have taken a toll on your mental health at first, but not to worry! Awesome aunt boa to the rescue!!

The chances of you meeting boa we’re actually very slim, whether you know it or not. As I said Mihawk doesn’t easily trust plus you probably met at a warlord meeting where he has to take you along for one reason or another.

You saw boa and naturally, thought she was very pretty. Mihawk is rather reserved too so you probably don’t see people often in general (til you get older). Therefore, seeing such a ethereal woman made you instantly admire her. You immediately wanted to get to know her—and, luckily for you, she took an interest in the girl who’s mihawk’s daughter!

now idk what you did but she started the conversation, and whatever you replied made her think you weren’t so bad! You two chatted some more and after figuring out you had no mother figure she took it upon herself to raise a cute girl such as yourself to be a good woman. She didn’t exactly want to be viewed as your mother..that would relate her too closely to mihawk, a man, for her liking. So! She’ll be the cool and classy wine aunt instead! 🍷💋

you love your dad, he does his best to raise you as a single father and pirate/warlord/worlds best swordsman. And you truly do appreciate him! But when Boa bashes him for being a man her insults are low key so funny you can’t help but laugh 🗿 (hc that Boa would be good at roasting people on the spot :3)

boa being the coolest aunt she is, she takes you to lavish places (that she rented so she wouldn’t have to bear being in the presence of those indisputable critters society calls men), gets you the most high quality makeup (that her tribe handcrafts—yes they make they’re own it’s a hc of mine), does monthly over the phone (in person when you can) mental check ins (because you love your dad but again, he’s a man, and there’s some things about women men won’t get—vice versa too of course <3)

womanly hour!~ well more like hours, you spend the whole day with boa whenever you can, she’s makes a magnificent aunt and literally never says no to you. She’s like to you how she is to luffy but less delusional platonic <3 you two go shopping and pick out clothes together, her tribe of course also gifts you all the cute clothes you could ever want (again, handcrafted) because boa adores you and they adore boa!—which means they adore you! 💕 You and the Kuja 100% get along and see eye to eye on how spectacular Hancock-Sama is~ 🥰

when your older you probably go over to visit her more often and maybe even on your own! Mihawk trusts that by then he’s trained you enough, plus i think he would have his certain set of rules but not be too strict of a dad.

teaching you how to be a proper woman with Boa 101 ;} only if you want to tho! She’ll ensure your not out here acting like some monkey—surely your not! (unless you are 🤷‍♀️) Still, she teaches you basic lady manners. :) More than anything she knows women is NOT the problem, so instead of going “keep your legs closed ☝️🤓” she says “If a man looks at you lower than your stomach, kick him in that area 😉😘” - Boa Hancock (the woman we trust💪)

AND you already know she’s gonna teach you how to kick as hard a she can 😤😮‍💨👌 which ngl by the time your older your sure to be a master in many Haki’s. You may even have conquer’s 🤷‍♀️ I wouldn’t doubt it you got Mihawk blood in you :P

Growing up Boa has constantly been warning you of men and they’re vile ways. When you become of age she’ll tell you what happened to her (that’s how much she trusts you 💗💗) and you’ll know what she means right away. She will always look out for you but gives you tips on things just in case, and if you ever feel unsafe, don’t hesitate to call her or take a trip to the island of women! The entirety of the Kuja tribe will lay down they’re lives in an instant for Hancock-sama’s lovable little niece <33

I’ve been mentioning this throughout but her taking you to the island of women definitely happens. You love it there and everyone loves you. You have so many Aunts and sisters there it’s not even funny. 😃 You adore each and everyone of them though, just as they do you. You get only the finest of treatment from them and you might as well be one of the Boa sisters. You get all you can eat premium food, the most elegant clothes tailored to your exact size and tastes, you even have your very OWN room in the Palace! Sandersonia and Marigold dote on you just as much as Hancock does the four of you very much do spend a lot of time together. 😊

The Boa sisters/the Kuja tribe teaches you the kuja tribe/survival skills personally. They start with bow and arrow and eventually moving on to haki and hand to hand combat. Now, Mihawk might have already covered this but they’re going over it again 😄 why? He might’ve missed something! He’s a man! (Btw the Kuja girls 100% ask you questions about men no holding back) Anywho, I’m sure you’d do it again even if you know it already because 1) practice 😋 and 2) who wouldn’t want to spend more time with the Kuja pirates?!

💖💖

These girls are seriously awesome 💓 (this low key became a Mihawk diss track written by Hancock but he’ll live- LOL 😂😂🗿)

[l5byrinth]

new romantics

“the best people in life are free.”

pairing: finnick x fem!reader, platonic!johanna x fem!reader, literally everyone else just platonic

summary: celebrating the anniversary of getting rid of the hunger games with your found family with a surprise for them in store as well.

requested

a/n: i wrote this like rn which is almost 1 am and i’m not mad about how it has turned out. i should probably edit this but wanted to finish at least one of the requests by today!! also anon i kind of changed it by making johanna someone like sister for reader just so more people feel included when reading <333 hope you like this anon and tbh it’s really bad but i hope you enjoy!!

WITH a wide smile on your face, you jokingly scolded your little child and Peeta for running around the living room. You were busy chatting up with your closest friends Katniss and Johanna, while the rest of your friends were all having a conversation of their own. You were glad the others got distracted by the two, because they were just questioning the fact you passed on a glass of wine. “Sorry,” Your little toddler pouted their underlip forward, your heart melting at the sight.

You motioned for the kid to come and sit on your lap, “That’s okay, sweetie. Now, show aunt Johanna and aunt Katniss your teeth.”

The little child bared their teeth for Johanna and Katniss to examine. Your kid had recently lost two of their teeth, and saying the little one was proud was an understatement. “Wow, you’re all grown up now.” Johanna commented, making the small child smile even wider. Katniss questioned, grabbing the young one’s hands, “What’d you do with the lost teeth?”

Your kid hopped off your lap, “Made money with it, duh.” And the youngster sprinted off to Peeta, who was already waiting for him.

Laughter filled the room, and even Katniss - who was a hard one to crack - couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. Finnick, who was previously busy in the kitchen preparing one of his favourite meals, entered the sitting room. His gaze fell upon you and, just like every time he looked at you, it was like he fell in love all over again.

When you noticed him on the other side of the room, you excused yourself to your friends before making your way over to your husband. You draped your arms over his shoulders as he rested his hands on your waist, “How’s everything going in the kitchen, love?” He smiled and leaned in closer, letting his nose brush against yours, “It’s going just fine.”

“Ugh, get a room you two!” Haymitch, who was playing with your child together with Peeta, yelled out of nowhere. You rested your forehead on Finnick’s chest while chuckling. He pulled you in closer while he did the same. “Let’s go to the kitchen.” Finnick offered, putting some distance between the two of you to look at you. He grabbed your hand, before leading you to there.

The stove was filled with different kinds of pans and pots, and judging on the kitchen counter covered by many ingredients, you could tell Finnick really was trying his best. “I need you to taste, darling,” Finnick said while grabbing a wooden spoon. He dipped it into one of the pots and blew on it a few times. He sipped on it a little himself, just to make sure it wasn’t too hot, before offering you.

Your eyes widened when you tasted it and Finnick’s face fell, “Oh, no, don’t tell me I’ve ruined it.”

“I’m so sorry, Finn.” You apologised while pulling a faux soured face. With his hands covering his face, he shook his head in disbelief, “I knew it! I should’ve…”

He stopped when you removed his hands, letting him see the smile on your face. “I was just kidding, Finn, that was amazing.” You assured with a giggle. “Oh, you! Darling, if it weren’t for you being so damn adorable…” He pulled you in closer as you couldn’t hold in your giggles. When your laughter died down, he left a kiss on your forehead, before resting his against yours. “We’ll tell them, right?”

You nodded in response, forgetting about the entire world in your lover’s arms. Just like you did since the moment you met him.

A call of your name by Johanna brought you back to reality. “Where are you?” She continued in a sing-songy tone while entering the kitchen. She stopped when she saw the two of you and a smile tugged at her lips as she said, “Oh, hey lovebirds.”

“Hey, Jo.” Finnick and you said in unison while you faced her.” She walked over and grabbed your hand, “I’m going to steal my wife from you real quick, Finnick.”

Finnick responded, pulling away from you with furrowed eyebrows, “Sure…” You let go of Finnick and followed her out of the kitchen as Finnick yelled, “Wait, you mean my wife!” You and Johanna laughed while linking your arms, “Nope. Mine!”

“You wish!” You heard Finnick faintly before you entered the dining room.

The two of you started talking as you set the table, a lot of memories being recalled. “Oh my god, I remember how terrified I was of you when we first met!” Johanna’s mouth fell agape by your exclaim, and she jokingly responded, “Ouch!”

You playfully nudged her side with your elbow, “You were scarily intimidating, Jo! How could I not be?”

“You know what, I’m actually glad I gave that impression. Exactly what I was going for.” Your best friend spoke, setting the last plate on the table.

“I can’t believe that we have come so far.” You still remember the hard times as clear as day. The hunger games, the rebellion, the war. But you got through it together with all the people who had become such a huge part of your life along the way. Like Johanna, who was basically like a sister to you. “Done!” Johanna said, as she just finished putting all the cutlery in place.

“What’s wrong?” She questioned when she noticed you had fallen silent. “Just grateful,” You started with quivering lips, “You’re like a sister to me and I couldn’t imagine a life without you-”

Johanna walked over to you and pulled you in for a tight, but comforting hug. Something only Johanna could do. She pulled away as she said, “Now, stop being so sentimental. I don’t want to cry in front of you.”

You chuckled at her comment, wiping away the tears that had escaped bay. “Let’s call everyone to the table now, shall we?”

With the dining room filled with the people you loved with your entire body and soul, you couldn’t wish for anything else. Everyone had taken a seat, admiring the food that lay upon them. Most of the food was cooked by Finnick, who was sitting beside you and holding your hand tightly. Your little child was sitting on the other side of you, talking to you about everything and nothing.

You smiled at your child’s story, and when it finished, your eyes found Finnick’s. You knew exactly what his eyes were telling you. Both you and Finnick stood up and the room quieted down. He wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you in closer as you spoke., “It has been quite some time since the day we finally got some peace in our lives.”

“And sitting here, with the family I found during the hard times, there is no place I’d rather be.” You continued, everyone listening attentively and some nodded at your words. “So since we’re celebrating the anniversary of the day we finally got rid of the games, there was something Finnick and I wanted to announce as well.”

Everyone waited in anticipation, wondering what was going on as you and Finnick shared a look. He nodded encouragingly with a soft smile.

“We’re having another baby!” You announced as Finnick held up the photos of the echo you had made a week ago. The whole room erupted in joy and excitement. Johanna was the first to get up from her seat and run over to embrace you, followed shortly by Katniss. Finnick was being congratulated by Peeta and Haymitch, as Katniss told you, “I knew it! You were so obvious, you know?”

However, before you could respond, your small child stood on your chair, “Daddy told me not to tell anyone!”

“Yes, and you didn’t, baby. You did such a good job.” With the brightest smile on your face you kissed your little one’s forehead.

“We can’t wait to welcome our little baby to the family.” Finnick said to everyone, to which they nodded their head to. Everyone sat back down on their chairs as soon as they all had congratulated you. You and Finnick sat down as well, relieved that you didn’t have to keep this from your loved ones any longer. “You’ve got to name your little one Effie if it’s a girl.” Effie commented, grabbing ahold of Haymitch’s hand with as she looked at you with a smile.

“Or Peeta if it’s a boy!” Peeta exclaimed.

“No, no, no! You should definitely name him Haymitch.”

“In your dreams.” Katniss said, rolling her eyes at the man.

A soft chuckle escaped your lips and you turned your head to face your husband, who was already looking at you with a lovesick smile.

[the-swift-tricker]

breaking down the members of the batfam:

bruce wayne (emotionally repressed autistic dad/tired but loving/"i'd die for you. ask me to die for you.")

alfred pennyworth (beloved grandfather and backbone of the house/"cool you were in the circus too alfie?" "a different type of circus master richard"/the most flexible on the whole no killing rule thing)

dick grayson (embarrassing "stay silly" older brother/eldest child/self-titled "bruce's little angel")

barbara gordon (adopted bruce more than he adopted her/this family would not survive without her it support/only one who knows how to work the router)

jason todd (the try hard wanna be cool accidentally cool but not in the way he meant brother)

tim drake (gifted child syndrome overachiever middle-child-and-mentally-ill-about-it bisexual nerd)

damian wayne (asshole baby man with a heart of absolute gold and a closet full of swords/tiny and feral/why does he have so many swords??)

stephanie brown (the goldilocks of the family/showed up one day and refused to leave/heartbreaker/know-nothing know-it-all, "get your feet of the furniture, stephanie")

cassandra cain (the darling daughter/autistic queen/"cuddled nicely" and "bit my ass" rolled into one/don't look directly at her too long or you'll fall in love)

duke thomas ("finally someone normal around here"/"oh no he's just as bad"/the day shift/probably does way too many light related puns)

selina kyle ("hot milfs in your area"/bruce's lover on the down low that literally everyone knows about/enamored by his autistic swagger/not married to bruce but would take the kids in the event of divorce)

kate kane (fucking rad lesbian wine aunt/kicker of ass, spoiler of nephews and nieces)

harper row ("alfred where did this punk child come from?"/"SHE'S GOTTA GUN"/best music taste out of any of them/once turned a lawn mower into a drag car/it was awesome)

lucius fox (other grandpa/ twead wearing dad/"bruce you need to pay your taxes"/"bruce getting shot point blank in the back is not advisable"/"bruce the hague tends to frown on child soldiers")

lucas fox (conceivably he should be smarter than getting mixed up in all this/still got mixed up in all this/"don't you think batwings a little too...on the nose?" "says the guy that calls himself batman")

helena bertinelli (cranky cousin that is beloved by a few and feared by all/"why doesn't her boyfriend have a face?"/"SHE'S GOTTA CROSSBOW!")

harley quinn (bisexual vodka aunt that's really just bruce's friend from college/has invited herself over for every hanukkah ever since finding out bruce is jewish too)