#He's a big grumpy evil fucker

[mushroom-for-art]

So I don't think I'll ever do these digitally, enjoy! Mayday hedgehog, Mush (who's probably gonna get a new name) the cat and Goose the dragon now Wyvern got redesigns! Hell yea

Full credit to this picrew maker if helped with designs and understanding shapes, so here's their colors. Mayday being a .exe looking mother fucker.

[ithinkabouttzu]

hello!

can i request a bob headcannon about the gn!reader having a cat that doesn't like the boys :)? feel free to skip this if you don't feel like writing it!

Easy co. reacting to their s/o having a cat that doesn’t like them!

a/n: Thank you for request love! i hope you enjoy!! 💗

genre: fluff!

warnings: swearing, a little jealousy?

description: Some of men from Easy reacting to their gn s/o having a cat that doesn’t like them!

taglist: @executethyself35 @linhkhanhcps @1waveshortofashipwreck @grumpy-liebgott @barbeygirl @samwinchesterslostshoe @ronsenthal @sweetxvanixlla @mstiemountainhop (If you want to be on this list, let me know!! :))

BoB masterlist

Dick Winters: Every time he’s at your place, he would just simply try to avoid your cat as much as possible. Like knowing that your cat doesn’t like him one bit, he’s not going to try and make friends with the little guy/girl. Maybe every once and while he’d buy your pet toys or treats for special occasions.

Lewis Nixon: It’s kinda pathetic how desperate he is to make your cat like him. Not because he likes cats a whole lot or anything but mostly because he wants to impress you. I could def see him whispering to your cat while you’re out of the room like, “hey you little fucker, why don’t you like me, huh?” He makes sure to get them a custom-made vat 69 chew toy.

Carwood Lipton: “Hey, you don’t have to be scared.” Unlike Winters he IS going to try and make friends with the little critter even after it’s been made clear that they don’t like him one bit lol. Everytime that he is over at your place he always greets your cat and immediately gets rejected by a hiss lol. He would sweetly talk to them when you’re sleeping like, “Your parent is the best person I know, you be good to them alright?”

Joe Toye: The feeling is surely mutual. You would probably think the feud between them two is hilarious. Like if your cat gives Joe that side eye look (that one all cats give) you better believe Joe is giving one right back to them. “Something is wrong with your cat, I think he/she’s plotting something evil.”

Joe Liebgott: He tries a good bit to be friends with your cat at first, but after a while he just learns to keep his distance after a good scratch on his arm. Even after that though you will always see Joe coming back to your place with treats, food, or toys. “I know you like me. You’re just trying to put up a front cuz’ i’m with your parent.”

Bill Guarnere: He has SERIOUS beef with your cat. Like the moment your cat even GLANCES at him he’s gonna say some dumb shit like, “Babe get your cat before he catches these hands” Lmaoo he’d never actually hurt your cat but he talks a big game to them alllll the time. Bill and your cat “act” like they don't like each other but then you’d see them secretly cuddling while you’re not paying attention.

George Luz: He’s kinda like Lip, willingly trying to play with your cat when they are just OVER it. Whenever the cat and him are alone it literally looks like the cat is babysitting Luz lmao. He would buy your cat a bunch of little fake rats and feather toys in hopes they would play with him. “Oh c’monn! You can’t act like you hate me forever!”

Bull Randleman: He’s gonna stay as far from the cat as possible. In all honesty, and he probably wouldn’t say this to you because he wouldn’t want you to get mad, but he HATES cats. 1. Because he’s allergic, 2. Because they’re always grumpy (In his words not mine.) He might pet cat a few times but that's about it.

Eugene Roe: “Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you I promise.” He’s so patient with your cat, it’s so freaking sweet. He doesn’t want to make your cat nervous or uncomfortable so he wouldn’t try pushing to play with him/her especially knowing that they don’t like him.

Floyd Talbert: He’s definitely gonna sit there and bribe your cat with treats for sure. Also saying shit like “You gotta start liking me someday, i’m gonna be your new dad soon” LMFAO. I have a feeling he would get oddly jealous over your cat if you were cuddling them and not him. “If you kiss them, you gotta kiss me too, yk?”

Skip muck: When you warn him that your cat isn’t very friendly and might get territorial his exact words are, “No way! I’m amazing with animals, practically a cat whisperer.” Pan to him a couple hours later keeping a three feet distance from your cat because it bit the shit out of his ankle and now he’s genuinely afraid of your cat. Let’s just say he’d keep his distance after that.

Don Malarkey: He would try being as friendly as possible with your cat (despite him being a very big dog person) at first, but once he realizes how much your cat actually hates him he gets kind of offended not gonna lie. “Honey, I’ve done almost everything to socialize with them, am I doing something wrong?”

Babe Heffron: He sneezes every time he’s around your cat soo much and he swears to you that he isn’t allergic. The beef all starts when he starts sneezing super hard around your place and it scares the fuck out of your cat. He doesn’t mean to antagonize them, but it just comes off that way with the loud ass sneezes, will buy a couple toys for them tho.

Shifty Powers: This man is the actual male version of snow white, so when you tell him your cat is a bit reactive and probably won’t like him he understands, but at the same time when he meets your cat he’s going to spend the rest of his night trying to get them to like him. (And it obviously works somehow because he’s an animal whisperer.)

Frank Perconte: “If that cat bites me or claws me, I'm swingin’.” Right from the moment he meets your cat he’s giving them the dirtiest looks EVER. Sometimes he feels like he’s definitely fighting for your attention whenever the cat is around. He might act like he’s your cat's biggest hater but in all honesty he loves them to death.

Ronald Speirs: He is ODDLY quiet around the cat. The only way I can describe the relationship is Brennan and Dale from Stepbrothers. They love each other, can't stand each other, but are also seen being together all the time? Both him and the cat will act like they don’t like eachother but they do.

Johnny Martin: He’s very willing to push for a relationship with your cat, even if they absolutely hate him. Mostly to make you happy and comfortable with them two being around each other. Whenever the cat hisses at him he loves to say that “they’re just warming up to me.” And it’s literally been 5 months LMAO.

Skinny Sisk: “Aw, aren’t you a little cutie?” The hate is so one-sided it’s horrible. He will desperately try to hangout with your cat while they actually want to bite his eyes out. “Here, let me feed them, maybe they’ll like me more if I do it.” Sweet baby is COMMITTED to making your cat like him.

Chuck Grant: Whenever he is at your place and sees your cat, he acts simply invisible. His reasoning is, if he acts like he isn't there then he practically is. He won’t go as far as to even look your cat in the eye. He might pet them once or twice but other than that he likes to keep his distance.

David Webster: He probably wants to read you an article on reactive cats and the proper way to fix the aggression coming from them of course. He wants to make sure your cat doesn't hate him for long. He would try playing a lot of calming music for animals and stuff like that when they are hanging out.

Buck Compton: He’s probably going to go out of his way to buy your cat all kinds of stuff like toys and treats but as far as interacting goes he doesn’t like to be around them for too long (especially when you aren’t there with him too lmao) he’s scared of your cat but definitely won’t admit that to you haha.

Again, thank you for requesting! If you enjoyed, make sure to like or reblog!! 💗

[nyx-aira]

Magical Bitching

Summary: When a new magical threat arrives in NYC Dr.Strange and Wanda need some magical help but Loki and Agatha in one place can only mean one thing, chaos and the start of a beautiful friendship

A/N: You can't imagine how much fun I had while writing this :)

Tag list: @escapetodreamworld @midnight-lestrange @king-star @ynscrazylife @booklovinbi @mysticfalls01 @adorkwithaplan @nathaslosttheirshit @agathaharkness-simp @paulawand

To say that Strange was busy was an understatement. He was currently fighting and evil interdimensional being that somehow  had managed to get to New York, interrupting his Sherlock Holmes marathon.

The thing could be described as a big glibbery blob that could fly through the air and spit fire, to say he imagined his afternoon a little bit different wasn't really a surprise. He wasn't alone thankfully, Wanda fighting alongside him. The young witch had recently moved into the Sanctum, training her powers under his and Wong's guidance. Even though they were both pretty strong the blob was becoming more and more of a challenge, splitting into mini blobs if you hit it with the same spell twice. It was very annoying. So he did something he swore he would only do if there was no other option. He called for Loki.

After their, let's call it a disagreement, they had sorted out some kind of truce, deciding the fabric of the universe was more important than their personal differences.

He and Wanda were just fighting a horde of mini blobs when they started turning purple, crumbling to the ground and fading into nothing. They turned around to see Agatha fling another dozen of the annoying blobs against a building, crushing them against the wall.

He looked at Wanda who was staring at the other witch in disbelief, shock the prominent emotion on her face, annoyance not far behind.

"Did you call her?"

The young witch asked, Sokovian accent present. Something he had noticed that happened when she was emotional or annoyed.

He was about to answer when they saw green sparks dancing around another small army of the annoying creatures, capturing them in a magic barrier and crushing until there was only interdimensional alien goo left.

"No I called him."

Strange answered with a sigh, pointing to a building to their far right where Loki just teleported, throwing a couple magical daggers at the slime monsters.

Wanda dropped her head into her hands, staring at him in disbelief.

"Great now we not only have to fight that stupid blob thing but also have to deal with grumpy and petty."

He lifted an eyebrow at the nicknames and shot her an amused look.

"Who is who? "

She just wanted to answer him when they saw another horde of blobs heading their way. Looking at each other they nodded, ready to attack.

Flying high in the air Wanda shot some energy blasts in their direction, giving Strange the opportunity to catch them and send them back into their dimension. She was about to round the corner when she saw something flying towards her, turning around she brought up a barrier to defend herself but the attack never came as Agatha landed not far from her, using another spell to open a portal the witch flung them in its general direction, the portal catching them and making them vanish. More blobs started to appear and Wanda realised that the situation was getting more and more out of control.

She was ready to attack the remaining creatures when she heard a roar, whipping her head around she stared at the new creature that just appeared on top of a nearby skyscraper. It kinda looked like a dragon with for two sets of wings and tentacles, spitting some kind of toxin and fading in and out of existence. Wanda groaned, their day wasn't bad enough already with the blob thing, a fancy dragon squid wasn't really some she needed today as well.

Agatha floated next to Wanda, bored expression on her face. It wasn't something she hadn't seen before. These kind of creatures were annoying, sure, but nothing she couldn't handle if she needed to.

Deciding that she did not need to get toxin stains on her new outfit today she turned to Wanda, already regretting what she was about to say.

"You and Strange handle our new guest, I'll handle these fuckers."

Shocked at her offer Wanda turned to her, raising an unbelieving eyebrow.

"You want to help us ?"

"Don't think too long about it or I might change my mind."

Groaning Wanda shot her one last glare before she flew away to help Strange.

Looking around Agatha decided that chasing after each of the annoying creatures was too much of a hassle. She looked around to find a good spot to catch as many of them without doing much work. Spotting a suitable tower in the distance she flew towards it, blasting a couple blobs out of her way as she arrived on the top.

The sight that greeted her was almost comical, there sat Loki, on a beach chair with sunglasses on his head sipping a colourful cocktail, every now and then flicking his hand to catch a blob that got too close to the tower, flinging it towards a portal he had opened not far away.

He lifted his shades as she approached him, snapping his fingers to let another chair appear, nodding his head towards it.

She laughed at the gesture, settling down in the surprisingly comfortable chair, conjuring up her own glasses to block out the sun.

"Never imagined to see you in New York again Trickster."

He only snorted at that, flinging another blob into the portal, a green 178 popping up over the interdimensional gateway.

"Never say never."

Agatha chuckled, flinging a couple creatures towards the portal as well, a purple 154 lighting up. She grinned, she wasn't that far behind.

"I don't understand why heroes always have to be so dramatic, its far more entertaining this way."

The god commented, refilling his drink and conjuring some pastries, grabbing some for himself before he passed the floating tray in her direction.

"Exactly, they are always so extra, always so much drama."

Agatha remarked, grabbing a strawberry cupcake, absently flinging a couple blobs into the portal.

"Strange look out!"

Wanda was panting, she had a cut across her cheek and her suit was burned in a couple places, the toxin and fire having gotten to her at one point.

Strange ducked a blast and ran towards her, shielding himself as he yelled something she couldn't understand over the noise of the battle.

The count over the portal just reached a tie when Agatha had finished her cupcake, tossing the wrapper aside she looked at the tray, deciding which one to try next.

"The lemon cake is divine, you should try it."

Loki supplied, taking a bite from his chocolate covered strawberry, adjusting his shades as they had slipped down his nose a bit.

She took a slice of the lemon cake and refilled the drink the god had offered her as the count had reached 1000, plopping some more ice cubes into the cocktail, it was a hot summer day after all.

Wanda jumped over some rubble, running for cover as she was chased down the ally by not less than 20 slimy creatures. Sometime in the last hour she had broken her wrist, the dull ache in her hand nothing compared to the burning feeling in her legs. She had ran more than ever in her life today. Yelling at Strange who was running besides her to keep going the slid behind some garbage cans.

Panting she looked at him. He was missing an eyebrow and his right sleeve, his boots melted to his trousers from a pretty hot fire ball from one of the creatures.

"The weather is quite nice today, don't you think? "

Agatha remarked, taking a sip of her cocktail, adding more ice as most of it had melted already. They had conjured a sun shade as it got hotter, the temperatures pushing 30⁰C

"A little bit to hot for my liking but it's definitely nice."

Loki answered, taking a bite out of his ice cream. He had change into a sleeveless tunic, pulling his hair into a messy bun, his boots having been replaced by flip flops. He flung his hand towards the portal, a green 735 popping up.

"Seems like im winning Ms. Harkness."

Agatha just laughed as she twisted her hand, sending some blobs into the portal, the purple 737 making her shoot the trickster god a triumphant smile.

"Don't get cocky dear."

Agatha had changed her outfit as well. Now spotting a purple flower dress, the fabric flowing around her knees, sandals instead of heeled boots. They had exchanged the pastries for ice cream at some point, Loki opting for mint and chocolate as Agatha chose blueberry and raspberry. They were just about to decide whether or not to order pizza when they heard a loud bang and smoke started to form a couple blocks in the distance.

Lifting his shades to have a better look on what's going on Loki shot a questioning look in her direction.

"You think they are alright? "

Waving him off Agatha took another bite from her ice cream, settling back in the chair.

"They'll be fine."

"Run"

That was the last thing Wanda heard before all hell broke lose, the building behind them catching fire and the toxin starting to react with it.

Strange grabbed her by the hand and they portaled out of the collapsing building.

Landing roughly on the concrete a couple streets over they groaned. Wanda by now having lost her right boot and part of her jacket. Strange didn't look much better, having lost a chunk of his hair to the fire and a broken ankle thanks to a fall from the third floor. It really wasn’t their day.

Loki and Agatha were just debating whether two servings of bread rolls were too much when an orange portal opened. They turned their heads away from the menu to look at the new arrival.

It was Wong, wearing beach shorts and a hawaii shirt, dragging his own beach chair through the portal.

"The Sanctum is safe, these idiots just don't know how to fight efficiently."

With these words he plopped down on his chair, accepting the menu Agatha offered him.

"Alright we can order two servings of bread rolls now but this won't work without a salad."

Loki commented, scrolling through the menu, debating whether he should order a caesar salad or the tuna one, both sounded delicious.

Having meanwhile conjured a fire pit and some blankets, as the sun was starting to set, they had dragged a table from the Sanctums dining room onto their rooftop. It was surprisingly easy to find a restaurant who delivered on top of a building if you offered to tip a little bit more.

"What do you think, red or white wine?"

Agatha asked as she held up two bottles. She had moved to the table already and had kicked her feet up on the table, watching the sunset as they waited for the food to arrive, distant bangs of fighting heard in the distance.

"I'll take the red wine."

Loki commented from where he was standing, arranging the fairy lights around the roof top. You needed a nice atmosphere to have a nice dinner party after all.

"I think the pizza arrived, I'll be right back."

With these words Wong opened a portal and stepped through it, leaving Agatha and Loki to their own devices. The god was painting his nails, nail polish floating in the air as he carefully applied the second coat of midnight black.

Meanwhile the witch had leaned back in her chair, wine glass in hand as she absently played with a ball of purple energy, illuminating the whole table in a purple glow.

"Today has been a great day, I really needed a day off."

She commented, taking a sip of her wine, taking her feet off the table as Wong appeared with their food, unpacking the pizza cartons and sorting through the food.

Wanda and Strange were done. They had finally managed to defeat the dragon squid thing, the blobs having disappeared a while ago. She had wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he had problems walking with his injured foot, her own wrist hurting like hell.

They were exhausted, smelling like dead dragon and smoke, covered in interdimensional goo and first degree burns.

"This has been a fucking nightmare. "

The sorcerer supreme commented. Wanda just nodding her head, too exhausted to say anything.

"I'd like to make a toast. "

Agatha groaned at Loki's statement, hitting her head on the table. They had had clearly to much alcohol, Loki bringing out some asgardian liquor, Wong bringing some alcohol from his home and she herself conjuring a bottle out of her ever-growing wine collection.

Loki was leaning against the table, having to hold onto it for support. Wong wasn't much better, feet kicked up on the table, glass in hand, refilling all of their glasses with what he call the best liquor you can get on earth.

She wanted to disagree but had to admit it was quite good. Getting up from her chair she raised her glass.

"And what are we making a toast on?"

Loki winked at her, raising his glass as he helped Wong up, the other man the most intoxicated of the trio.

"To this beautiful day and this beautiful friendship. "

"No no no, to magic and bitching about stupid people. "

Wong interrupted, talking about their animated discussion on who had to deal with the most shit.

The two men started arguing, on what they would speak their toast on. Groaning Agatha snapped her fingers, catching the attention of the two sorcerers, lifting her glass she spoke, a little bit more slurred than usual.

"To bitchcraft and the imbeciles we have to deal with on a daily basis. "

"To bitchcraft. "

They all echoed, raising their glasses.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

Wanda asked Strange as they stepped out of the portal onto the rooftop, watching the trio speak a toast.

He just shook his head and pulled her back into the portal.

"I think we both got hit in the head one too many times. "

[blueroan-equestrian]

Once Upon an Arrangement 2

part one

@ravendarkstar1

I was now in my third trimester, and cranky. Gaara walked into our shared room and sits down on the edge of my bed, "I know being away from your family has been hard for you while being pregnant, so I have arranged for your mother and one of your brothers to come and stay with us for a while.”

I smiled up at him, “Really? When are they coming?”

“Come on in!” He called and a giddy mother and a grumpy brother came in.

...

I loved having mom and Brandon with me but the longer they were with me the more weird things I noticed about Brandon. His whole demeanor was off. I would see flashes in places I told them no phones, I'd find him in places he shouldn't be. I didn't understand until Kankuro brought it to Gaara's attention, my home land had tried to turn my brother into a spy.

Gaara came to me, "Sweetheart... there's a war coming and I think it would be best for you to go home with your mother and brother."

"No, I'm pregnant and whatever Brandon got, he can't deliver unless he goes home and even then only if he brings the phone." I tisked as I waddled to the couch in our bedroom.

He came and sat next to me, “What if a war is coming and you and the baby are here? I can’t protect the village and worry about you and the baby.”

Deadpanned I said, “Welcome to parenthood... you’re always going to be worried, you’re just going to have to learn how to work through it. We aren’t going anywhere because I know we’re safer here with you.”

He shake his head leaning over to kiss my belly, “With their technology... I am not so sure about that.”

He looks at me with such sad eyes, “Gaara... I think I know what to do. But I need you to trust me.”

He rested his forehead against mine, “I do my love, but your safety and the safety of our child is nothing to play with.”

“Who said that I was playing? I will not leave my husband, do you understand?” I say giving him a big a firm peck on the lips.

He smirks, “I do, so tell me love, what is this plan of yours.”

I smirked, “I think we can flip him and feed them bad intell.”

He smirks back and goes to work up some bad intell and I to flip my brother.

....

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Get this baby out of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed in pain as another contraction swept over me.

Gaara held my hand though they tried to keep him from entering the delivery room, but I had him sic his sand on them. I was not going to deliver his baby without him by my side! Gaara tried his best to soothe me, but even with the pain killers they hooked me up on couldn’t numb the pain I was in.

Finally after one last grueling push, there was a cry from a baby and one of the doctors held it up and said, “It’s a girl!”

“A girl!” Gaara sang, “did you hear that, love?”

“Uh-huh.... l did. Can I sleep now?”

“Please do. Kazekage please, she needs her rest, you must leave the room.”

I was too weak to protest but luckily Gaara wasn’t, “No thank you but I prefer to watch over my girls as they are taken care of. Please hand over my daughter as soon as possible.”

They tried to argue with him but he wouldn’t have it they cleaned her up and handed her over with a bottle. I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up my vagina was oozing something like tar and was more soar than a mother fucker. I turned and sitting next to me was Gaara holding our newborn baby girl, “How is she?”

“She is an angel, perfect in every way.” He hummed happily, “Would you like to hold her?”

I nodded and he carefully slipped her into my arms, I held her tightly against no, “She’s beautiful! She has your eyes. I love your eyes.” I sobbed.

Gaara chuckles, “Well she gets her beauty from her mother. She looks just like you did when you were a baby according to your mother.”

“My mom saw her?”

“Yeah, but only for a little bit I didn’t want to leave you for too long I didn’t want to leave you alone.” He sighed, the doctors here are much more reserved than your home country. After all they even tried to keep me out.”

“Well they were stupid to try! You put her in me you well better be there when she comes out!”

He looks at me proudly, “And I was, now should I tell them that you’re ready for your um... shower?”

“Yeah....”

......

“Brandon?” I hummed, “want to hold her?”

Brandon reached out his arms and nodded, “Yes please... what’s her name?”

“Ena meaning gift from god. She really is a gift but if you hand over that phone to whoever has you spying on my husband and his nation, you’ll be putting her life at risk.”

“What do you mean? He won’t let you leave? That evil prick!”

“No, I won’t leave him, he tried to get me to leave, knowing letting you go would bring doom. But your my brother and he loves me and to hurt you would be to hurt me. So my question to you is how much do you love me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Leave the phone here, say we discovered it but take the file here,” I pull out a Manila folder from my bag and set it on the table in front of him, “and tell them you were able to snag it while Gaara and I were sleep deprived because of the baby.”

“You don’t seem sleep deprived?”

“Because Gaara is amazing and takes care of her so I can sleep. He gets up when she cry’s and calms her down before I even wake up.”

He looks at the baby in his arms and then back at me, “Did he ever force himself on you?”

“Not even for a kiss. Gaara never forces me to do anything, and he never allows me to be put into harms way. Gaara loves me and Ena!” I practically growled.

“Fine I’ll do it... but only for you and Ena!”

...

Mom and Brandon went home after Ena was four months old and one day Gaara brought home a three or four year old boy. “Sweetheart, this is Shinki... he needs a mommy and a daddy and Ena could use a big brother... what do you say?”

I raised my eyebrows, "What brought this on?"

"He's...He's like me and he needs a home where he's loved."

"Alright, hello Shinki, I'm Mommy."

The little boy in his arms looked at me with skeptical eyes, and Gaara bounced him in his arms, "Come on, Shinki, say hello to mommy."

"Hello, mother." the boy finally spoke.

I couldn't help but giggle, "So formal. Well are you hungry Shinki?"

He nodded and Gaara handed him over to me as he had to finish some work.

...

Shinki grew to be very attached to Gaara and I. He was also very protective of his little sister. But nights were bad for him, so he would craw into our bed and sleep with us. That's where he was when my country first attacked. Gaara quickly went to grab our daughter and put us in the bunker. "Come on Shinki, it's your job to protect your mommy and sister."

"I can't father, I'm not strong enough!"

I pulled him in and Gaara sealed us in. Thanks to the false intell my brother turned in they weren't able to vanquish the village and were easily driven out.

part 3

[batarella]

I Don’t Hate You - Part 3 (Jason Todd x Reader)

OKAY LEMME TELL YOU ALL I’VE NEVER POSTED ANYTHING THIS LONG. AND I’VE NEVER SMILED SO MUCH WHILE WRITING A SINGLE FIC IN MY LIFE. IT’S 2K WORDS LONGER THAN THE COMMANDER FINALE. TALK ABOUT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

REMEMBER WHY JADE WEST WAS SO ICONIC IN VICTORIOUS? READ ON!

WORDS: A WHOPPING 7404 WORDS FOR A SINGLE PART OF A SERIES WARNINGS: NEVER HAD THIS MUCH FLUFF IN MY LIFE

Masterlist

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

-----

Hands flat on Ms. Peterson’s desk, you flashed the brightest fake smile you could. She looked up from her computer, probably the fifth round of solitaire for the day, and cocked up an eyebrow. She did not at all look amused at you storming in.

But you’ve been in the library for twenty minutes and this woman has not given you anything to do to keep you in here.

“Listen, Ms. Peterson. As much as we just love hanging out in this outdated hellhole, I’d rather we go home than just sit here and do nothing for the next hour and a half.”

Her shaky hands didn’t flinch. And she turned her attention back at her screen.

“I’m told to keep you in here for another eight weeks. I’ve had this job for fifty years and I’m not about to lose it to two whiny brats.”

“She’s the only whiny brat here, Ms. P.” Jason rested his elbows on the desk and leaned over beside you. “If you let us out, it’ll be our little secret. C’mon.”

Obviously, that sort of trick works for Jason more times than it would for any ordinary person. But Ms. Peterson was not the one to charm with. And she had the same, dead look in her eye when she turned her head at the young man.

“Sit. Down.”

“What the hell are we supposed to do?”

“I don’t care. Just get your asses on those chairs and sit. Oh look! A person in need of service. There’s your job. Go do it.”

Only one guy was standing behind you. You snarled at him, eyes narrowed. You were almost growling beneath your breath which made him visibly stand back. Jason looked at him over his shoulder with less fear factor but with the same annoyance.

The sight of you both made him almost piss his pants.

“Uhm,” he gulped. “Can you please show me where sci fi books are at?”

You cocked up an eyebrow, glancing at your nails before nudging Jason with your shoulder. He grunted at you, giving you that same ‘I really fucking hate you’ look on his face he’s practically embedded onto his own skin by now. You shrugged, looking back at your nails. Then Jason stood straight and held the guy by the shoulder.

“Go through that aisle. Third shelf from the right.”

“He asked you to go with him, Todd.”

His glare on you was really starting to show. “He can find it himself.”

The poor guy gulped and viciously nodded to agree with Jason. He walked away, making sure not to catch your eye. You lifted your elbows from the librarian’s desk and spared the old lady another snarky look, to which she didn’t even bother to notice. Both of you sitting back on the empty table, Jason placed his arm crossed over the other on the surface and leaned his head over to at least try having a nap. His hair was all sprawled out. You, on the other hand, leaned back, head hanging on your neck, and closing your eyes hoping time would fly by faster that way.

It didn’t.

Two weeks. It had been two fucking weeks. And yet, you were far from being halfway through this macabre series of events. Why couldn’t you have just punched that Maxwell kid in the face? Or threatened to murder him in his sleep? Anything else would have been better. Anything that would’ve landed you in an entirely different situation than to be stuck here with an old woman stricter than a Belle Reeves prison guard.

You could either look at the windows out the library, find a book and actually read one of them (though if they had any more of Poe’s you’d likely get your hands on them).

Or just stare at the eye candy in front of you.

Your smirk was less obvious when you glanced over the veins on his large, muscled arms, folded on top of the other with his skin stretched. His thick, black hair that was long enough to cover most of his forehead, now sticking onto his arm. His neck that was long and thick, his thin shirt and how even more lean muscles would pop out when he’d unintentionally flex. You often caught sight of his stomach when he’d reach over a shelf that was at the top most level, and the ‘V’ shape on his skin was more than eminent enough for you to picture. He wasn’t absolutely huge, especially since he was just 17. But he was definitely fit.

You wouldn’t mind looking at that for a while. Not until he starts talking, anyway. For long minutes, that was what you did, then you got bored.

The tip of your boots kicked his shin under the table. He jumped up, startled, almost growling at you with dark bags under his eyes.

“The fuck do you want now?”

“Someone’s a bit angsty today,” your evil little smirk ticked off another of his nerves. You could tell. He let out a large sigh, started leaning back against the back of his chair, then spread out his arms behind his head to stretch.

Ooooooh shit. There is was. The veins.

“I didn’t sleep last night.” Jason finished stretching and went back to lean against the table. “You done gawking?”

“Cute.” You scrunched up your face to mock him. “I’m bored.”

“And what am I supposed to do with that?”

“Help me sneak out of here.”

“Two weeks here. You think I haven’t tried sneaking out once or twice? That woman’s got the eye of a fucking hawk.”

“Is there any other way out of here?”

“I doubt it.”

Your groan was indefinitely long, stretching the back of your neck when you opted to reach for your phone.

“I’m at three percent.”

Jason took out his own phone. “Mine’s at five.”

“That blackout from last night reach your monster mansion, too?”

He snarled at you and rolled his eyes. “Bruce has generators to power up the whole place when we need it.”

“Then why are you at five percent?”

“Because I’ve been tinkering on this sorry little fucker the last thirty minutes.” He held it up with just his fingers. It had a cracked screen. It looked too old to even be used. “Battery drains faster than my patience.”

“Can’t your new rich dad buy you another one?”

“He did. I don’t wanna use it. Just doesn’t feel like mine.”

“Ah. You're one of those guys. ‘My parents are rich, not me’ kind of dudes. You’re all the same kinds of annoying.”

“I don’t act all high and mighty, for your information.”

“I’m just saying,” you raised your arms up. “If I were you’d I’d at least enjoy his wealth. It’s stupid if you don’t take advantage of things you clearly already have.””

He silently shook his head and looked to the side like you wouldn’t understand even if you tried. Scoffing, you turned away, and you caught the eye of Maxwell, who had a sling on his arm still.

“Holy fuck,” you reached for your bag. “I can't believe I fucking forgot.”

“What?”

Pouring out the contents, you mumbled. “Help me with this thing and I swear I owe you a huge favor.”

“I think watching you wallow in your pain would be more worth my time.”

“That sounds more like my line. You’re taking after me. Good. And I’d say likewise if I wasn’t so desperate, Todd.” You started pouring out pieces of paper, a bottle of glue, and a pair of the largest scissors Jason’s ever seen.

“Is that-“

“The scissors that sent that guy to therapy?” You pointed at Maxwell. “Yes. Yes they are.”

“Jesus.” He took it from your hands. “No fucking wonder.”

“Stop ogling and help me.”

“What the fuck are you supposed to do?”

“Remember the project that kid spilled his coffee on? This is it. I finished it that day and now I have to do it all over again. They gave me another two weeks to do it and I completely forgot about it until now. I’m supposed to make a stained-glass kind of picture. But with cutting pieces of colored paper.”

Jason took the paper you had on the table.

“These are all white, black, gray, and one sheet that’s dark red.”

You shrugged. “I like working with those colors. Now help me. I wanna do this.” You pulled out your phone and showed him a saved photo of one you’d like to copy. He almost jumped out of his seat when you suddenly showed him a picture of a deranged clown with a big red nose, a smile much larger than half his face, and eyes dark and dwelling enough to give him nightmares.

“I wanna know what type of dark shit you’re on.”

“It’s just a clown.”

“I am not helping you on your little art project.”

“Please.” Your hands were down, your eyes widened but not the threatening kind. And your voice, it was definitely the softest he’s ever heard it. Twitching an eyebrow like he was watching your every move, Jason didn’t flinch.

He looked at the clock. Then back at you with his eyeballs rolled all the way around.

“You’re lucky I literally have nothing better to do.”

You propped your shoulders up and gave him a black piece of paper and a pair of scissors. “Great. Cut these into the shapes I drew here.”

A disgruntled groan and a sharp snatch from your hands, Jason looked just as cranky as you usually were. It was amusing. He glared at you and you just smiled back. “Thanks, Jay.”

“Shut up and get to work.”

Your eyes lingered a bit longer on him, even when he’d started to fiddle with your too-large scissors, and you rolled your eyes with a bit of a smile.

“What’s making you so grumpy today?”

He didn’t bother looking up at you. His brows were all scrunched up as he cut the black piece of paper.

“I told you. I didn’t get to sleep last night. I was… out. Why are you grumpy all the time?”

You squinted your eyes at him then went to work. Carefully, he went through the first paper and gave you the shapes you wanted. You set aside your own batch and you took out the larger, white paper on which you’d glue it all on.

“Okay. Give me the shapes.”

You took out the glue and started pouring it on the paper.

“You’re doing it all wrong.”

“I know what I’m doing.”

“You clearly don’t.” He snatched it from you and started wiping the glue off with his finger, spreading it around. “I can't believe I’m fucking doing this.”

“And what are you doing exactly?” you snarled.

“Pouring the glue in will make it all sticky. You should’ve traced over the outer lines so it wouldn’t crumple.”

“I know that.” You took the glue away from him again, then placed the shape onto the paper. “One down.”

“Fucking kill me now.”

“Keep cutting. I’ll handle the glue.”

“Do it right, then.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. He started again with your scissors and went back to snipping off the pieces of paper. Gluing the shapes one by one, you started taking out a red marker and traced the outlines to mimic the flow of blood.

Jason stared at it, then at you, eyes wide with disbelief, then went back to his scissors.

“Excuse me,” a girl went up to you. A freshman, you could tell. “That lady told me you could show me to the young adult section?”

“No. Go away.”

You kept with your glue, not even looking at the girl who just stared at you awkwardly. Jason pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a deep, long sigh. “Go down that aisle. Fifth shelf. Down the very end.”

“Uh. Thanks.” She walked over to where Jason was pointing at. You still didn’t look up from your work. And instead, watched on as Jason continued with cutting the shapes. “You need to chill.”

“Finish those up. That’s the last one.”

Jason rolled his eyes even more, angrily cutting through the pieces of red paper the size of the clown’s big red nose. He dropped the scissors onto the table and just continued to watch you gluing the pieces together with way too much glue.

He gave you no warning before grabbing the glue bottle from you and the shapes, stretching his arm out so you can't reach them.

“TODD.”

“YOU’RE RUINING THE WHOLE THING.”

“NO, I’M NOT.” You cursed with his name and stood up from your chair, reaching out with your arms all the way to him while he desperately wiped off the excess glue for your sake. “GIVE THAT BACK.”

��SIT DOWN.” He cried back at you.

You heard the shrillest shush Ms. Peterson has ever made, before you went back to fumbling with Jason. Your table was at the far end, and she was no longer at your line of sight. He held your wrist, wiping off the rest of the glue, then finally handed the bottle back to you. Putting the shapes onto the paper, you groaned when you slumped back on the chair.

“It looks horrible,” he tried to stifle a laugh.

“Fuck you.”

“At least you’re almost done, right?”

“You put the glue on the shapes then, genius. I’ll paste them on.”

Grumbling with his deep voice, he took the glue bottle and swiped the shapes back over to him. Using thin, barely visible lines, he was so stingy with the glue you wanted to tear your hair out.

“That won't even stick to a fly trap.”

“You want your work to look all crumpled? Go ahead.”

“Just put a bit more.”

“I have the fucking glue bottle,” his eyebrows were raised. “You sit there and wait for me, then you stick them yourself. Start with this.”

He slammed a shape onto the table and you took it, careful not to hit your fingers with the glue. Biting into your gums, you wondered how you’ll be able to handle yet another eight weeks with his kid.

Your bickering didn’t even stop there. It went on, and Jason had to cut even more shapes to make up for some that were far too small. He was practically yelling at this point, and you weren’t about to get yelled at and not respond.

“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO CUT THEM, DINGUS.”

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE RIGHT FUCKING SIZE.”

“I GAVE YOU THE PATTERN. YOU ONLY HAD TO FOLLOW IT.”

“WELL I WOULD HAVE IF YOUR SCISSORS WEREN’T SO DAMN BIG.”

“THEY’RE THE BEST PAIR IN EXISTENCE. YOU JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT.”

“I THINK I CAN HANDLE A PAIR OF SCISSORS.”

“THEN WHY CAN'T YOU CUT BETTER THAN A FUCKING SEVEN-YEAR-OLD.”

“’CUZ THEY DON’T HAVE A FUCKING PARROT SCREAMING AT THEM EVERY FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES.”

The silent yelling didn’t stop. At the end, your voices were too loud that Ms. Peterson would’ve eventually shushed you for the last time and probably throw her slipper at you. Thankfully, she’d gone out to the bathroom and you were left alone.

Everyone else had left. It was almost 5 pm, and you refused to go if your project still wasn’t finished.

“This. Is. The worst day. Of my entire life. And I used to live in the streets.”

“You're not going anywhere. Stay.”

A deep, agonizingly painful groan. He slumped onto the table and buried his face into his arms. “Why can't you just kill me?”

Another set of long minutes, with your attention directly at the glue and scraping off the excess to make it look presentable. It didn’t actually look that bad. The second set of cut shapes were just the right size. Jason didn’t bother looking up. He might have even fallen asleep with you being silent for the longest time since you got there.

No one was left in the library, and it was just starting to get dark.

“Aaaaand THERE.” You placed the finished project onto the table and clapped your hands together in a grinning happiness. Jason, on the other hand, looked as good as dead.

“You may go.”

“You owe me fucking big time, kid.”

You smirked at him when he violently pushed his chair back, grabbed his backpack and went out for the door. You took your time, especially since going home late didn’t seem like such a drag anymore when Dad moved back in. You carefully slipped your collage into your folder and slung your bag over your shoulder.

Jason was still standing in front of the door, hand frozen on the handle you pushed him away and turned it, only for your hand to come at an abrupt stop and the sound of gears halting its turn.

“Where the fuck is Mother Goose?”

“The bathroom-“

But she wasn’t at the bathroom. Unless Ms. Peterson took her large purse and computer along with her to the toilet, she probably wasn’t in there.

“Are we-“

“There has to be a key here.” Jason rummaged through the librarian’s desk. Every drawer he could forcefully pull out, he did.

You pulled out your phone, which was a dead 0%, the image of a drained-out battery staring back at you, and that’s when you started to feel the panic slowly rise. You rushed to the library’s telephone, but you couldn’t even hear a dial tone. The phone was off. Jason’s phone was probably just as dead.

You rushed to the lights to turn them on, but nothing happened.

Fuck. Another blackout. FUCK.

“No key,” he rested his hands on the table. “Shit. FUCK.”

You only stared at each other, feeling that panic start to settle in when you realized you were out of options.

“M-Maybe. Your dad will come pick us up?”

Jason shook his head. “The last time I ran away for the night, he said he wasn’t gonna go around Gotham to pick me up anymore.” He looked at you. “Your parents?”

“Said the exact same thing.”

Your back hit the wall, and you slid down with your head up in the ceiling. Both silent. None of you even said it out loud.

Jason looked like he wanted to scream.

-----

You laid on your back, flat against the table, with just your arm over your eyes to shield it from the light posts outside the window on the driveway. You tried to drown out Jason’s fiddling with his lock pick and the door handle. Two hours had passed, and you’d barely gone by the evening.

“That’s not gonna work.”

“You have a better option, Lydia Deetz?”

You clenched your jaw and sneered. “You’ve been at it for an hour.”

“I’m almost through this.” He kept with his pick, a hairpin he found on the ground which he spent another hour looking for. “Juuuust- THERE!”

You shot up from the table, feet landing enthusiastically onto the floor and you sprinted to Jason’s back. “Here’s to freedom.”

Too eagerly, he turned the handle and pulled the door with a victorious grin.

Only for his hand to jolt at another abrupt stop. The door wouldn’t budge, only peering open through an inch. The grin on his face was immediately lost, and he almost feel out of his feet when you violently pushed him away, pulling on the door yourself and failing.

You could see the deadbolt, but something outside was holding the double doors from opening, no matter which one you pulled on.

“That batshit crazy old witch,” you growled. “Fucking chain locked the door.”

A loud, frustrated groan from Jason as he threw the hairpin to the ground like he would’ve a knife. “WHO CHAIN LOCKS A LIBRARY?”’

You walked away from the door, going back to the tables so you could bend over and stuff your face into your hands. Jason was even more of a mess.

Your dad started his first big fight with mom since he moved back in last night, just when you thought they’d finalized the divorce, he squirms back in. And your room was never far enough to drown out their screams.

That night you wished you were somewhere else. And you ended up somewhere even worse.

Jason was sitting on the floor, back flat against the wall, and his eyes were shut close while you laid back down on top of the table.

“I’m hungry.”

“The fuck you want me to do about that?” Jason kept his eyes shut.

“You got any food?”

“No.”

“Don’t you have something in your bag?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“You think you can stab me with those scissors? ‘Cuz I feel like choking on my own blood right now.”

You rolled over so you were laying on your stomach. Craning your head up to look at Jason, your chin resting on your fingers, you grinned. “I’d rather not spend the night being stuck with your rotting flesh. I’ll kill you in the morning.”

Jason screamed into his hands. “We are not gonna be stuck here until fucking morning.”

“Either you die tonight still in denial or we actually try to survive. Now do you have anything in your bag or what?”

He didn’t give in to picking out his bag without leaving you a dark glare. The sky was completely dark by now. And the only light source you had were three lamp posts outside the window. The power was still off, which meant it was going to be this dark the whole fucking night.

“Would you look at that?” He took out a small protein bar from his smaller pocket. “Forgot that was there.”

You jumped off the table again. “Great. I’m starving.”

You walked too fast to Jason, who immediately stood up and hold you by the shoulder, raising his hand away from your reach. “Ey. Mine. From my bag, remember?”

“I don’t have anything in mine!” you reached and tried to push him, but had no luck against his strength. “Come on!”

“I have way more body mass than you. I need this.”

You pursed your lips, glowering at him even when you knew he still wouldn’t budge. He kept pushing your shoulder from him until you backed away reluctantly.

“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT?”

You whined and grunted with your back hitting the wall. Jason stepped away facing you and opened the protein bar, took a large bite that left it with almost a third of the whole thing left.

“You know. That thing with the scissors stuck into your neck doesn’t seem like a bad idea anymore.” You grumbled.

Chewing profusely at the bar, he folded his one arm over his chest and smirked while watching you silently grovel in annoyance. You leaned on your side and made sure he wouldn’t hear your stomach starting to growl.

“Fine,” he groaned. “Here.”

A little over a quarter of the protein bar left. Jason handed it over to you and you gritted your teeth.

“There’s barely anything left, you bile-headed twat.”

“You want me to finish it?”

Snatching the bar away from him, you cursed under your breath right before you gobbled up what was left of the snack. It did little to nothing to make you feel less hungry, but at least you weren’t going to die.

“You're welcome.”

You threw the wrapper onto the floor and went back to sitting on the table. “Got anymore bright ideas?”

“Maybe if you’d help, I’d actually be able to tolerate you.”

Jason walked over to the classics shelf, pulled out a book and did the same as you. He swung his legs over on top of the table across you, bringing his knees up so he could rest his elbows on them. He then opened his book.

“You're reading,” you bit your gums. “You’re actually reading at a time like this.”

“What else are we supposed to do in a fucking library?”

Your hands met the surface of the table behind you and you threw your head back. “We have at least until the power comes back on. GOD, this place in insufferable.”

“Never mind the helping. You shutting up would be enough not to drive me insane.”

“And you're less of an ass when you're not a grouch, dickhead.”

“I’m ignoring you now.”

The vein on your forehead started to throb. You weren’t tired yet, and you wouldn’t be able to sleep at this hour even if you tried. You rolled around the table, desperate for any position that wouldn’t drive your limbs numb.

You jolted when you heard Jason curse.

“This fucking lamp post’s too dim. Can't even see shit.”

He set the book aside, laid down on his back and watched the ceiling with you.

“How did we even get locked up?”

“Maybe if you didn’t keep me captive with that stupid clown project for three hours we wouldn’t be in the mess.”

“So it’s my fault now? You're the one who fell asleep!”

“How could you have possibly missed the time? You know the library closes at five!”

“I didn’t fucking know that! I leave before that old witch does every time!”

“Just-.” Jason shut his eyes. “Can we stop screaming for ONE SECOND? Especially since we’re gonna stuck here the whole night?!”

The mocking noise you made was almost inhuman. Jason didn’t bother snarling back.

You saw a car pass by, the headlights shining through the window for the shortest moment. You kneeled on the table and waved your arms around.

“HEY. GET US OUT OF HERE!”

The car kept moving, and the headlights passed through the whole of the window until it left. You slumped back to lay down and groaned. “Fuck everything.”

You grabbed your bag, rummaging through everything inside just to find anything to do or anything that could possibly help you. Nothing. Not even a fan to cool you off when you started to feel the temperature rise.

“Did you call the number I gave you?”

You licked your teeth. “I used the piece of paper you gave me as a bookmark.”

Jason lifted his arm off his head. “No shame in asking for help.”

“I told you, I’m not being fucking abused.” You started picking on the leather of your boots, tracing along the creases of where your toes folded. “I don’t know what the hell made you think I was.”

“It doesn’t have to be actual physical abuse,” he sat up on his elbows.

“You really wanna make us feel uncomfortable? Why do you come to school with bruises all the time?”

“It’s not what you think.”

“Then what is it?”

He cleared his throat. “I’m not gonna fucking tell you, Y/LN.”

“Fine. Then let’s not talk about this.”

You had that usual condescending tone, but you didn’t sound like you were on the verge of lashing out. You sounded like you were pleading, even. Jason bit his lower lip. “Okay. What do you wanna talk about? It’s too early to sleep.”

You brought your knees up to sit cross legged and you leaned in on your elbows.

“Wanna play a game?”

Jason drummed his fingers on the table and sighed. “What?”

You scooched closer to him and swung your legs over the edge of the table. He did the same and faced you. “Give me your hand.”

“What?”

“Just give me your hand, Todd. Don’t be a pussy.”

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

“Then give me your hand.”

Jason snorted, leaning his elbow over his lap and giving his other hand over to you. You took it, smiling at him, then gripping firmly onto his wrist. “Make a fist.”

He fisted his hand and you could see a few veins pop out on his arm. You started rubbing the outside of his fingers. His eyes scrunched up, watching you. “Open your hand.”

He opened it, then you lightly slapped it with your own palm. “Fist,” you said again. He breathed and pulled it again to a fist. You repeated your first action with a growing smirk. “If I come out of this with one hand left-“

“Shut up. Open again.”

He opened his palm. And with a single finger, you tapped onto the center of his hand, then released your grip on his wrist.

Jason widened his eyes, amused. “It tingles.”

“I know right.” You folded your arms.

“Where’d you learn to do that?”

“That’s a secret.”

He then reached out his other hand to you. “Do it again.”

You laughed and snorted before grabbing his wrist, rubbed his fingers the same way you did the first time. Jason leaned over closer to look at your movements, and his nose was all scrunched up like it would when he was focused on a book. The corner of your mouth lifted, then you tapped his hand with your finger and let go.

“What sorcery is this?”

You shrugged, leaning back and folding your arms. “You have any tricks of your own?”

“Yes I do,” he said, swinging his legs over the edge of the table. “Hold out your hand.”

You did so without hesitation. Jason held your fist, then looked straight at you. “Pick a finger and don’t tell me what it is.”

“Okay?” Your ring finger. Easy enough.

“Look straight into my eyes. Don’t look down.”

You rolled your eyes slightly to the side, licking the inside of your teeth, then did as told.

He was looking straight at you, not even trying to blink. A smirk formed on his lips, and his eyes had that same flick of a glare, but there was a little shine on them from the dim lamp post. You shook your head while still maintaining eye contact and felt his other hand start toying with your fingers.

“It’s your ring finger.”

“Huh,” you shuffled closer to him. “Do it again. I wanna watch your hands.”

“No. You have to look straight at my eyes.”

“Fine. Just do it again. I’ll pay more attention.”

The corners of his eyes crinkled, and you both tried your best to hold back emerging bursts of laughter while he continued to toy with your fingers and trying not to blink.

“You're not choosing a finger.” He said.

“Not true. You just suck.”

It was true. You forgot to choose a finger. The middle finger this time. You shifted your focus, but the way he’d try to hold back a laugh made you choke. “Stop laughing.”

“I’m not.” He so was. You felt him touch your fingers, moving around them one by one. “You’re trying to look for movements.”

“Nope. It’s the middle finger.” He kept at it. Over and over, with you refusing to admit he read your mind.

His hands started feeling warmer each time. You didn’t know you noticed.

-----

A bustling, screeching noise of a cart being hauled around the room for the past ten minutes. You’ve been here for five hours. You were tired, starving, and sweating. You covered most of your face and ears with your hands, but the cart’s noises just kept going.

You shot up from the table. “DUDE. STOP.”

You normally had more insults to scream at him, but at that point of the night, you were all out.

Jason kept going and ignored you. Starting from one end of the library, he pushed the handles of the empty cart, accelerating it with his feet. When he gained the momentum, he placed his feet on the metal and rode it across the room. “Real mature.”

“Don’t be an old hag.”

He accelerated again from the opposite end, then climbed on. Jason went faster this time and just narrowly missed a shelf.

“There’s another cart right there if you have the balls to join me.”

You placed your weight on your arm, watching Jason sprint from one end of the room to the next. With a loud grunt, knowing you wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, you jumped off the table.

You emptied the cart from the remaining books and pushed it to Jason’s side, who waited for you just by the shelves. “Jump when it speeds up.”

“I know what to do.”

He laughed. “Race you to the other side.”

You gripped on the handle firmly, watching the end of the room, the one lined with heavy bookshelves, and readied yourself. “GO.”

You sprinted the two carts and grabbed on with your life as you sped down the large enough room, feeling the air slightly cooler when it was rushing past your skin and hair. You laughed playfully, stopping just before you hit the shelf. “I win.”

“Are you kidding me? I was waiting for you.”

“One more lap.”

“You’re on.”

Again, you sped past the room. You held onto one side of the handle too hard and accidentally hit Jason’s cart, both of you almost tumbling to the ground. “I call foul!”

“It was an accident!” you laughed, then took the cart again to finish the lap. He caught up with you and you no longer stopped in between, continuously sprinting and jumping onto the metal all across the room. You rode past the shelves, the narrow aisles, narrowly missing the books. You almost hit the tables with the carts and you definitely hit the wall too hard when you stopped too late. Jason was trailing right beside you, then he went about his own route.

That’s when he purposefully hit the front your cart with your own, throwing you off on the ground. “FUCK”

He laughed too hard. “Come on. I have another game.”

Holding his hand out to you, you grabbed on and he pulled you up to your feet. You stood close to him, both of you still laughing. And you were staring too long at his face being close to yours. You pulled away from his lingering grip, looking at the ground.

Setting his own cart aside, he pulled on yours, settling it between the aisle of the shelves. It went straight through the longest path down the room, and you’d have to be lucky to miss the shelves. “Hop on.”

“Todd, if you throw me out the window-“

“Come on. Don’t be a pussy.”

You felt the rush, and you liked how free you felt rushing through the air. You climbed into the cart, grabbing hold of the edges and focused on the end of the room.

Jason leaned in to your ear. “Don’t scream.”

“JASON.”

He was incredibly strong, pushing you in the cart like you weighed nothing and sped through the room faster than he previously had. The cart was growling and was so ready to break apart, but you never felt that kind of thrill since you last rode a coaster. You definitely screamed, a high-pitched shriek you know Jason must never mention to anyone, ever. But you were also laughing your stomach out when Jason turned you around, sped to the other end again. And this time, his feet jumping onto the cart.

You threw your head back, laughing, then you caught a glimpse of his face flashing the brightest smile you’ve ever seen on him.

Your laughter came to an abrupt stop when he stopped the cart too late and crashed against the shelf. You both stood still, watching it toppling like an unsteady jenga tower.

Holding your breath, you heard books fall to the floor, then the shaking mellowed down and you released your breaths when it finally stopped. Turning to Jason and falling into the cart laughing, you clutched at your stomach. “JESUS CHRIST.”

“Not funny!” he cried out, but even he was stifling a laugh. He walked over to the front and placed the books into the cart with you. Some fell on your lap, and you took the books from him and placed them to your side.

“At least we have something to do now.”

“Yeah. Especially since you put these books in the wrong shelf. These belong over there.” He pointed to a shelf nearby.

“Let’s fix it then,” you said, still not moving from the cart. He placed all the books from the floor onto you and moved the cart to the corner.

“You’re heavy.”

“Shut up. From now on, we shelf books this way.” You took a book from your lap and gave it to him, who placed the book in its right place.

“Top shelf,” you smirked.

“I know where to put them.” He took it from your hand and shoved it in place. You didn’t have many books to begin with, but even after that, he continued to push the cart, with you still hitching a ride, and you walked around the library to just look at all the books.

“Everything’s in the right section.”

“Because of me. You made a shit ton of mistakes.”

You threw your head back, looking at him. And from that angle you could see his glare turn into a smile. You leaned against the back of the cart, your head lightly touching his arm.

When you’ve managed to tour the whole library, you sat up.

“You're turn. Get in here.”

Jason wanted to laugh at that. “You’d never be able to lift me.”

“Watch me try.”

You hopped off the cart, pushing him aside from the handle. He shook his head, but eventually climbed on like you had. He was bigger than you, so he looked a lot more uncomfortable with his knees folded way up and his arms barely fitting inside the cart.

He was really heavy. But you managed. Pushing the cart slowly at first, Jason leaned in to the left side to steer you off. “Jason!”

“I see stray books. Go over there.”

You pushed the cart with whatever might you had. When you reached the desk, Jason took the books you previously set aside and placed them on his lap. “Braille,” he said. “These go all the way to the back.”

“I can handle this. I’m a big girl.”

You pushed the cart, eventually gaining speed, but it wasn’t nearly as fast as when he’d pushed you around. You reached the far back, with two sharp turns that nearly killed your back, then stopped with a loud breath.

“You're right. We should do this more often.”

You were panting by that time, and Jason handed you the books to place on the shelf. “Chop chop.”

-----

Two fucking am. The power was still out. Jason was definitely going to call the electricity company when you both get out of here. You were sat cross legged on one side of the long, narrow table, fiddling with your sleeves since you couldn’t sleep. He was laying on the same table but facing the opposite way, closing his eyes and feeling the beginnings of light slumber. His back was going to kill him eventually, but when the rush from that cart fiasco died down, he was so awfully tired.

Jason laid his head on his arm, closing his eyes as tightly as he could.

Then a warm, soothing melody started to buzz through his ears, a tune he’s never quite heard of before. His eyelids suddenly grew softer, feeling the humming song vibrate through him.

Where was it coming from?

He slowly opened his eyes, trying to find the source. Jason craned his head up to you, with your back turned to him, and realized you were the one humming.

You turned to him, and he went back to closing his eyes, pretending to sleep. “Jason?” you lightly asked, not enough to wake him if he was actually asleep. You turned your back around and crouched over to relax.

He wasn’t sleeping anymore, but he kept closing his eyes. A little while later, with you thinking he wasn’t conscious, he heard you actually start to sing.

 You got a fast car

I want a ticket to anywhere

Maybe we make a deal

Maybe together we can get somewhere

Anyplace is better

Starting from zero got nothing to lose

Maybe we'll make something

Me, myself I got nothing to prove

 Then you paused. Your voice was so soft and light, he never would’ve have heard it if there was anyone else in the room or if he wasn’t awake. You never would’ve sung if you knew he was, though.

You had the most beautiful voice he’s ever heard in his life.

 You got a fast car

I got a plan to get us out of here

I been working at the convenience store

Managed to save just a little bit of money

Won't have to drive too far

Just 'cross the border and into the city

You and I can both get jobs

And finally see what it means to be living

 Your voice was low, a beautiful, vibrating low. An alto. And there was that deep, breathy growl when you reached the lower notes with ease. A light vibrato at the end of the vowels, and there was that drowsy, slow feel to it that just made it seem like you didn’t make that much effort at all. At some points, you whispered the words, like your everyday screaming never affected your vocal chords at all.

There was a tug at his chest, his face started to burn up. He was wide awake by now, and there was that thudding within him that was too hard to ignore. And it worsened each time you breathed out the end of the verses.

You managed to finish the song, and by then, he was a mess.

You didn’t sing anything more, no matter how much he wished you would. He ended up fighting his tiredness, just in case he’d miss another song.

But right before he drifted to sleep, he realized he’d been smiling his cheeks off.

-----

Twelve hours.

You were stuck in the library.

For twelve fucking hours.

Both of you shot up from the table the moment you heard the chains outside the door clink to the ground. You and Jason raced out the door, and before the security guard could totally open it, you violently pushed it aside and raced out into the wide-open space of the driveway outside the gates. The poor guard looked puzzlingly at you. But since he was too old to care or even ask about what happened, he shrugged it off.

The cool air felt heavenly against your skin, and the bright sun, smiling back at you against your face. You spread your arms out and took in the breeze as much as you could. Jason was fanning himself with the collar of his shirt, raising his arms up the same way you were. “AHHHHH.” He screamed. And you did the same. The frustration went out the window as fast as you’d ran.

“FUCKING FINALLY.”

“THAT IS NEVER HAPPENING AGAIN.”

“NEVER.”

You faced the sky, still taking the deep, fresh intakes of air. Jason placed his hands on his hips and ruffled his sweat covered hair.

“Don’t tell anyone about this.”

“Agreed,” you said. “Not even Ms. Peterson.”

“Not a single soul.”

You both faced each other, raising your brows, no longer from a glare or out of annoyance. Your body felt light. Your chest felt lighter. You were smiling.

“I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Kudos to us for surviving.”

A high five. And you both laughed, still feeling that flush of relief flow throughout your limbs. No one was in school yet. It was Saturday, though. No one but a few of the faculty members were going to show up.

But the sky looked pink, mixed with a bright yellowish orange. The driveway never looked so clean, and the breeze was so wonderfully cold, with the autumn leaves still floating on the grass and the roads, you just felt happy. Your lingering gaze on Jason helped with that bright smile.

As if twelve hours in the library was nothing. As if it wasn’t torture at all.

As if it was, in fact, the most fun you’ve had in a single night in a long, long time.

“Walk safe.”

“Bye, Todd.”

Walking towards opposite ends of the sidewalk, hands on your sides and not in your pockets like you usually would. You couldn’t stop grinning.

Sparing one last glance behind you, seeing him get on his motorcycle, you turned to the corner of the street.

-----

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

-------

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH PLS TELL ME YOU ENJOYED THAT CUZ I CERTAINLY DID

THE SINGING SCENE IS REALLY INSPIRED BY LIZ GILLIES (REMEMBER THE READER IS BASED ON JADE WEST) SO THE FAST CAR SINGING SCENE WAS ACTUALLY INSPIRED BY THIS VIDEO

Taglist: everyartistwas-firstanamateur  @sarcasmismyfirstlove @damned-queen-of-gotham @idkmanicantenglish @wunderstell @birdy-bat-riya @get-loki@everyday-imfangirling @comic-nerd-dc @multifandoms916 @icequeen208@offendedfishnoises @egdolan @xemiefx @arkhamtoddler @elsenthal@mythicbitchx @supremehaunter @ burning-alive  @lucy-roo  roseangel013bf @ loxbbg  reclusive-chicken-nugget http-cherries shadowsndaisies 

[crypticpaw]

Frozen Paws, Frozen Heart

Entrapta X Hordak fic! (with Frosta’s participation)

Author’s note: I’m very, very proud of this fic! I just like writting/drawing Hordak being a parental figure! I really hope you guys like this one! Again, I’m always open to criticism and forgive my bad grammar! Tell me what you thought about it!

WARNINGS: Swearing?? Frosta swears a lot, I think we’re all very aware of that...

Clouds of dust and snow formed where Frosta had run past, zipping through the white, cold landscape, tirelessly chasing the hare. She barked and growled attempting to grab the swift thing with her mouth or paws, but it was always a little out of her reach. Frosta almost fell, making another rough turn, following the hare, surely trying to shake her off. Her little paws ached, having run so fast for so long, but the pup ignored it with a determined look on her face. She was going to catch this damn hare if it was the last thing she did! She barked and barked, as if that would make the hare go slower. The pup had been chasing that thing for three weeks now, and she wasn't about to stop! Until a terrible smell hit her nose. Frosta stopped abruptly, sliding in the snow a little. She fell head-first in the ground, and shook it off her fur and big coat. The hare looked behind it's shoulders, stopping after realising Frosta stopped chasing it, hoping back to her. The pup raised her snout, sniffing the air. The hare raised itself on it's hind legs and sniffed. -You smell it to? -Frosta asked it. It turned to her without an answer. She slowly made her way through the snow, following the smell. She recognised it now, the smell of bitter metal scrap. She recognised it from Entrapta. From the Fright Zone. Frosta ran up a hill to see better and try to make it out where the smell came from, and sure enough: a big, steel tank, with Dryl's crest on it, slowly making it's way through the snowy territory. HER snowy territory! She growled to herself, her fur rising in her neck in anger. What was Entrapta doing in the Northern Reach?! A spark lit in Frosta's head. She remembered Adora reporting to her that Scorpia, Catra and Entrapta had attacked the Northern Reach once, when they still worked for the Horde, looking for tech. As she was about to go after the tank, she saw the lid on top of it open, and out of it, Hordak peeked his head out. Frosta growled even louder. Not thinking, she decided to run for it. As she got close to the tank, she turned to the hare who was still following her. -It's not safe for you! Go back home, I'll meet you there! The hare turned around and hoped back. Frosta climbed up the stairs and on top of the tank, where she slowly opened the lid and peeked inside before falling in. She hit the metal floor head-first, making a loud CLANG. Rubbing her head with her paws, she looked around, examining the inside filled with wires, metal scrap, tools on the floor and a pile of boxes with Dryl's crest. Pointing her nose to the floor, Frosta slowly explored around, leaving a trail of snow behind her. Her ears raised and she turned her head when she heard footsteps behind her. In a panic, she jumped behind the boxes, and hid there. Through a space between her hiding spot, she peeked to see Hordak, wearing a huge and probably very heavy dark blue fur coat, approaching the slid where she fell through. Frosta froze in place and held her breath. She couldn't let him see her! Not because she was scared of Hordak, she wasn't scared of anything! But Frosta didn't want to be thrown out yet. His eyes glowed in the dark. A red light casting on his surroundings, making him look even more monstrous. His steps slowing down as he saw the snow on the floor melting. The cat sniffed around, for sure catching her scent, as his ears drew back and he unsheathed his claws. Frosta gulped. She heard his claws could cut through pure steel. Like all the other princesses, she had heard stories about Hordak before they actually met. He didn't seem so scary up close, but she wasn't ready to find out if his claws hurt or not. He followed her scent, slowly getting closer to her hiding spot, a growl rising deep in his throat. Frosta's ears fell and her tail hid between her legs. Her paw opened as she made a snow ball out of thin air, ready to throw it in his big, scrawny face. As Hordak was about to take another step, there was a chirp from the corridor. A small kitten-bat-monkey-thing-creature flew over to him trilling and chirping, covered in snow. It stopped at his paws and shook the snow off it's little body, revealing a fluffy and wet dark blue sweater, matching Hordak's fur coat. -Aargh! Imp! -Hordak hissed. -Look at the mess you made! Your clothes are soaked! The "Imp"-thingy laughed, it's tail held high. Hordak growled again, drawing his claws back. He nudged the kitten with wings back to the dark corridor and walked with it as it took flight again. Frosta peeked her head out as their steps faded away. Slowly, she comes out from behind the boxes and scoots closer to the wall, following Hordak. The corridor is dark, she can barely see a thing, but manages to follow the cat by his scent and the faint talking from the end of the hall. There's a big room ahead, Frosta can make out more boxes, tools on the ground, computer screens and Entrapta. Sitting on her big pet robot Emily, tapping in some kind of tablet, wearing a hoodie and big ear protectors. As Frosta was about to jump her and ask what she wanted in the Northern Reach, Hordak entered the room, carrying the kitten with wings, in a now dry sweater. Entrapta's ears perked up and she stretched her paws to cradle the cat-thingy against her chest. -You're watching him! -Hordak grumbled. -He decided to go outside to play in the snow and I had to dry him! Entrapta's tail wagged. -Aaww! He just wanted to build a snowman, didn't ya, Imp? The kitten trilled back to her and nuzzled her chest, then turned to Hordak and stuck out his tongue to him. Hordak growled and Entrapta laughed. She wrapped her ear around him and pulled herself closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder. Hordak nuzzled her cheek, purring. -Blergh! -Frosta gaged. She shouldn't have done that. Imp's folded ears perked up and he sniffed around. A tiny growl rising in his throat, his tail swished as he looked directly where Frosta was hiding. She gulped. Hordak, following Imp's eyes, stepped closer. Entrapta tilted her head, holding Imp close to her, and petting Emily to calm her. The both whined and turned to her, looking for reassurance. -What is it? -she looked at Imp, then at Hordak, then back. -What's wrong? There's nothing there. It's okay. Nobody's here- -AH, YOU PEST!!! Entrapta turned to see Hordak snarling, his face covered in snow, holding a very angry, barking Frosta by her scruff. -Frosta! The pup tried to turn and run, but Hordak's grip on her tightened and Entrapta wrapped her ear around her waist, lifting her upside down. Her big coat fell in front of her face, and she had to slap it away to look at them. -What are you doing here? -she asked excited. -What are YOU doing here?! The Northern Reach is MY territory! -Frosta growled. -Is it? I didn't know that! Last time I was here, it was just unmarked land! -Entrapta said, gently putting Frosta on the ground. -Well, it's marked now! Why did you bring a tank in the middle of the snow anyway? -Our experiments do not concerns you, pup! Hordak towered over her, his ears back. Grumpy as always. Frosta wanted to throw a snowball at him everytime she looked at his stinky face, and it was very tempting to do it again. -This is no place for a child, get out of our tank and go home! -he hissed, walking back to Entrapta. Frosta jumped in front on him and growled, standing between him and the Princess. Who did he think he was?! -No, YOU go home! -she barked. -You came here out of nowhere, without my permission, with a TANK! If you wanted to start another war you could have said it to my face! -Permission?! -he laughed. -We don't need permission from a 9 month old pup! -UH, I'M 11, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! They both growled loudly at each other. Frosta's neck fur was tingled and Hordak's tail swished from to side, both bearing their teeth. Entrapta pulled Frosta to sit on her lap and rested a ear on Hordak's shoulder. -Sorry about coming out of nowhere, Frosta, we didn't know it was part of your kingdom! -Entrapta pat her on the head gently. -We just need an energy source! Our old one got busted when the Fright Zone was destroyed! -Didn't you get attacked by a bunch of worms? At least, that's what Scorpia said! -Yes! But the energy sources were left intact! As long as we don't wake the worms again, we should be fine! Frosta huffed as she sat down. -Why do you need an energy source anyway? -she crossed her arms. -Are you building another evil weapon?! -Evil weapon! -Entrapta cackled. -Of course not, Frosta! You're so silly! She pat her head again, ruffling her fur, which Frosta had to fix. -What are doing so far from home? This is no place for a pup to be alone by herself! Frosta stuck her nose up and copied his accent. -My exploring does not concern you, BITCH! Hordak hissed. "YOU PEST!!!", Imp echoed Hordak's words back to Frosta and she stuck out her tongue at him. Emily looked around all of them, beeping worriedly. -You know, Frosta, for a puppy your size, you sure have a very extended vocabulary... -I say we wash her dirty mouth with soap! -Hordak growled. -That's what children like her earned for their disrespect, back at the Fright Zone! -I'M GONNA WASH YOUR MOUTH WITH SNOW, MOTHER FUCKER! COME AT ME! -Ok, you both, quit it! -Entrapta barked. She sounded serious this time. -Nobody's gonna come at anybody! And nobody's having their mouth washed! Something behind her started beeping and a little red light started flashing. Entrapta grumbled and tapped at her keyboard, making a bunch of 1s and 0s appear in one of the screens. She turned to Hordak. -I think something in the front motor froze! Hordak, can you go check for me? The cat growled softly out of frustration, his expression some-what hurt... He looked at Entrapta, looked at Frosta, and back at Entrapta. -Fine... -hesitating, he turned to walk away, shooting a nasty side-eye at Frosta. She sticks her middle finger at him as he walks away, complaining to himself. -Ha-ha! -she laughs, victoriously. She turned to Entrapta, who was still taping at her keyboard, more 0s and 1s showing on her screen. She didn't share the same smile Frosta had. -What do you see in that guy? -the she finally asked. -He's my lab partner! -Yeah, but, he's an old... Clone... Bat... Thing! -Appearances aren't everything in a relationship, Frosta. -Entrapta turned to her. -I know that, but... -Frosta tried to think of what to say, but didn't know how to explain herself. She did not like Hordak overall. -I mean... He's Hordak! And you're you! -Yeah, but we get along perfectly! -Entrapta smiled at her. -Our species don't exactly match, but we like the same things, we like to spend time together, our aesthetic is the same like our ideals and our morals! We just... Like each other! -I get why he likes YOU, I don't get why you like HIM! He's always grumpy, and bossy, and saying complicated words... -That's just how he is! I once heard someone say that Glimmer was hot-headed, stubborn, short-tempered and hard to get along with! But that doesn't mean you like her any less, does it? -NO! WHO SAID THAT?! -Frosta stood up and created a fist of hard ice around her paw. -I'M GONNA PUNCH THEIR FACE INTO THEIR SKULL! -NOT the point! -Entrapta gently pushed her paw down, and the pup melted the ice around it. -My point is: Some animals just get along... And other animals don't! -And I guess Hordak doesn't get along with Princeses. -Frosta realised. -Well... Princesses that aren't you! -Maybe... But Adora and Scorpia get along with him! I bet if you spent more time trying to talk to him, and not trying to fight him, you'd get along with him too! Frosta grew quiet, her eyes flew around the room, as she thought to herself. -And, yeah, it's easier for me in a way! -What do you mean? -Frosta tilted her head. -I have a secret! It's the reason why I get along with him so much! -Entrapta winked at her. -What is it?!? -Well... I think... He's really... CUTE! -EEEWWW! Frosta gaged again and Entrapta cackled loudly, hugging her. She blew a raspberry on the pup's cheek, making her laugh and kick her legs. They both smiled at each other. Imp trilled at the corridor and flew over to Hordak as he entered, perching on his shoulders. -The motor is functioning as expected, it was only a small amount of frost. I turned the heater on. -he said. -Are we there yet? -Yeah, are we there yet? -said Frosta. "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?", Imp repeated Frosta's voice and she was taken aback by it. -Somewhat! We can't really get in because the entries were destroyed, but maybe we could crawl around the vents! Entrapta eyes twinkled with exciment, her tail wagged. -YOU can crawl around the vents. -Hordak reminded her. He shivered and curled his tail around himself. -I'll wait here if that's acceptable. I do not want to hinder you in our experiment, for I don't do well in the cold. -It's just snow! It's not THAT cold! -Frosta argued. -Maybe for dogs with thick, long fur, like you!  I don't know if you recall this, girl, but I am practicaly furless! -It's okay! I can take Imp and Emily! But we gotta be super quiet! -Entrapta turned to the pets, who chirped and beeped back at her happily. -You guys stay here and take care of the tank together! -WHAT!? No, I wanna come!!! -Frosta whined. -I will not be demoted to pupsitting! -Hordak hissed. -It won't take long, I promise! -she pointed at them with her ears. -Frosta, don't try to fight anything! And Hordak, be nice to the puppy! The both of them exchanged hostile glares. -Yeah, fuck face! Be nice! -One more curse word out of your mouth and I'm shoving you in timeout corner for the next 3 hours! -What did I just said?! -Entrapta barked angrily. She shot a last glance at them before scurrying off to the corridor leading to the exiting lid. As soon as the THUMP of the shutting lid was heard, Hordak went up to the screens and Frosta followed him. They could see Entrapta making her way through the snow, walking off with Imp and Emily. The cat settled down with a longing sigh and Frosta jumped up to sit on the keyboard. She let her paws dangle off the edge, awkwardly looking around, not knowing what to do with herself. He's just sitting there, his eyes stuck in that one screen where Entrapta was before, unmoving, as if he couldn't do anything else. -So... What do we do now...? -We wait. -For how long? -Not very long. It should take her no more than a few minutes or an hour. -An hour?! -she whined. -What am I supposed to do for an hour?! -I don't know! But if you're going to whine the whole time, I suggest you do it elsewhere! Hordak growled at her and she let herself tumble to the side with an annoyed huff. It was less than a minute before she spoke again and the cat turned to her with a frown. -Is there a bathroom in the tank? I need to go! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hordak sat outside in the snow, turned around a few feet away from the small igloo Frosta made for herself as to give her some privacy. The snow so cold beneath him it almost felt like his paws were burning, he put the hood of his coat over his ears, but they still wouldn't warm up and he was worried they would freeze and fall off. His tail curled against him, trembling as he shivered. A small cloud came out of his nose with every breath he took. He heard rustling behind him but kept himself from turning around. -Okay, I'm done! -Frosta trotted up to him. -Good! Let's go back inside, before I freeze to death! Frosta rolled her eyes, and as they walked off, she had an idea. She stopped a little behind him, made a tall snow tower beneath her paws and shot ice through her paws ahead of her, making a long slippery ramp. Hordak stopped and yelped in shock. -What are you doing?! She made a board out of hardened snow and before he could stop her, she pushed herself off. -GERONIMO!!! -FROSTA! NO, NO, GIRL! DON'T! FROSTA!!! She went so fast down, she had to close her eyes, and only opened them again to see the fast approaching, snowy earth. She went head-first into the snow, bounced and fell again, her board shattered as soon as it touched the ground. Frosta tried to get up, but got herself stuck. -You're impossible! Are you trying to get yourself killed?! -Hordak stormed up to her, grabbing her scruff and taking her off the snow. -You better have not broken anything! You crazy dog! -Did you see me?! Did you see what I did?! It was super fun! I went flying! -she exclaimed, shaking the snow off her. -And you also fell! From a dangerously high altitude might I add! -Pffft! That was nothing! I just gotta adjust the slide! -Nothing! Keep telling yourself that! -Hordak growled. -If you are to ever do that again, WHICH YOU WILL NOT, I suggest you better calculate your circumstances! -Calculate...? -she asked. -What's that? -You don't know what "calculate" means...? -Hordak stopped in his tracks and she shook her head. -Well... It means to determine the amount or number of something mathematically. -Ma... The.. Matically...? -Yes. For example, to do what you just did, SAFELY,  -Hordak looked back and pointed at her improvised ramp. -First, you would need to calculate the high of the tower you built, the angle of the ramp and if it has any friction that might interfere with your board, how much you weight and your mass... -That just sounds like a lot of work! -Frosta said, rubbing her head as if she had a headache. -It sounds a lot more than what it actually is! -Hordak kept walking to the tank as she followed him. -It is all but calculation and physics! -Physics...? Hordak's ears perked up at her sudden interest, a small smile on his lips. - A branch of science concerned with the nature and properties of matter and energy! The subject matter of physics, distinguished from that of chemistry and biology, includes mechanics, heat, light and other radiation, sound, electricity, magnetism, the structure of atoms, gravity... -What's gravity?! -Frosta struggled to keep up with him. -Gravity is what causes you to fall. -Like a stumble or a trip? -Yes- no, no! Actually, no. It's a force that pulls you downwards. -Hordak shook his head. -That's why you don't float away like you would out in space. The phenomenon that any two material particles, or bodies, if freed to move, will be exelorated towards each othe- He stopped as his nose bumped on something. That something being Entrapta's own nose. He hadn't even noticed they had already gotten to the tank. -Yuck! -Frosta gaged. Hordak took a step back realizing their proximity, so close if he had held his head a little lower, they would have kissed. He shot a warning glance at Frosta. -Where were you two at? -Entrapta said, her tail wagging and her cheeks blushing. -We came back and didn't find you anywhere! -I needed to go to the bathroom, but there wasn't any in the tank, so we had to go outside, and Hordak kept whining, and I made a super ramp, and Hordak yelled at me, and went so fast I flew off and hit my face in the snow! -Frosta jumped up excitingly, her tail wagging madly as she panted. -Did you? Entrapta turned to Hordak and Imp jumped to his shoulders. -She almost busted her head open! This girl is crazy! -Aaww! Look at you getting all worried about the puppy! -the Princess nuzzled his cheek and he blushed. -W-well, of course! If anything happened to her while we were alone, the Princesses would have blamed it on me! -his tail swished about, tying itself up with one of Entrapta's ears. -But did you find what we were looking for? -Yup! Frosta turned to the other Princess. -Can I see it?!

-Sure! Entrapta led the way back inside the tank, where she rolled a big metal sphere, with coloful glass and constellations-like markings all over it. It was quite beautiful.

-Is that it? -Frosta asked. -How does it work? Entrapta set her on top of Emily as she explained. -You see all these markings that kinda look like starts? -the dog pointed at them with her paw and Frosta nodded. -They light up and make a beaming sound when it's on! Those two holes right there are for cables! This is basically a huge battery, and it charges with the light of the sun! While the light hits it, it builds up energy, and if you plug something into it, it can generate enough energy to use for a MONTH! If we can decode the programing in this, we could create multiples and use their energy! -Woooaah! But why do you need so much energy? -Dryl is expanding, and fast. -Hordak explained. -With all of my brothers moving in, we need more housing, and more housing makes more use of energy. Frosta's ears fell. She thought to herself how all those cats must feel, being brainwashed and then getting their "home" turned into a giant tree in the sky, having to get used to a completely different culture in a completely different planet. -We can go back, now! Frosta, you want a ride home? -Entrapta asked her. -Sure! They left the piece of tech on the floor, going up to the screens again, Entrapta pulled a lever and the tank's motor roared to life. Emily looked up at Frosta and beeped, Frosta smiled and pat the bot, turning to Hordak as she felt the tank move. -So... What were you gonna say before? -she asked, surprisingly shy. -About... gravity? Hordak and Entrapta both turned their heads back, their eyes widen with surprise. Frosta's ears fell, did she do something wrong? -Gravity? -Entrapta exclaimed. -I never thought you'd be interested about that topic, Frosta! -Oh, I was explaining gravity and physics to her on our way back to the tank. She seemed rather confused. They walked up to her and Emily, Entrapta sitting right beside her and Hordak settling near the bot. -Yeah, what IS gravity? Is it like magic? -Oh, no, no! It's the universal force of attraction acting between all matter! All bodies have a weight, or downward force of gravity, proportional to their mass, which Etheria's mass exerts on them! -Entrapta gesture with her paws as Hordak nodded. -Gravity is measured by the acceleration that it gives to freely falling objects! Frosta tilted her head. -So... A force that pulls things to the ground and doesn't let stuff float? -Yeah! That's it! -the Princesses said, in a proud tone. -That sounds a lot like magic! Are you sure it's not just magic? -Yes, we are sure! -Hordak grumbled. -How would YOU know?! -Because even planets without magic have gravity, even completely deserted ones, without any intelligent life form! -the cat explained, as he paced around them. -There's planets out there WITHOUT MAGIC?! -Frosta exclaimed, looking at her paws and back at him. -What a sad life! Entrapta snapped her head around, looking at Frosta with an undignified look, putting her paws on her waist and huffing. Frosta's ears and tail dropped. -Humph! "a sad life"?! -she exclaimed. -I've got no magic and I have the best time ever practically every day, young missy! So does Catra! So does Sea Hawk and so does Bow! -Well, yeah... but... I mean... -"I fucked up!", Frosta thought. -Y-you got your tech and your bots and all... And Catra's super fast! And Bow has his arrows and... Are we SURE Sea Hawk doesn't have any magic?! I still think he's an heir to some kind of fire Princess or something! Entrapta's ears perked up and her eyes widened with realization. She rested her chin on her paw. -You know what... That's actually a very good theory! -Don't encourage her! -Hordak turned back to them as he settled a sleeping Imp on the control pannell. -Why not? Frosta actually might be onto something here! -Entrapta lifted herself and made her way to Hordak on her ears. -What if he IS some kind of great, great, great, great, great grandson to some fire dweller? What if he was just never taught to control his powers? -He is already a menace as he is, Entrapta! -Hordak's tail swished in annoyance. -He doesn't need more reasons to play with fire! Literally speaking! A whole discussion about it escalated between them. As they chit-chatted, Frosta looked at the screens showing the outside of the big metal machine, watching the snow-covered ground pass as the tank drove itself. Her eyes shot open when she noticed a frozen lake outside. -LAKE! -she pointed with her paw and yelled. -FROZEN LAKE! Can we stop to skate on it?! Please, please, please! Her tail wagged madly as she jumped around them. Entrapta looked at the screen Frosta was pointing to and hummed. -Hmmm! Yeah, it could be fun! -she said. -What do you think, lab partner? -You're joking! In this temperature?! Do you WANT our tails falling frozen, Entrapta?! Frosta growled. -Oh come on, Hordikins! Don't be a stick in the mud! -Entrapta nudged his shoulder. -It could be fun! -Pleeeeaaaaaseee! -Frosta whined. -Aargh! Fine! -the cat hissed. -But don't blame me when someone gets hurt! Entrapta laughed. -Nothing's gonna happen! Don't worry! -YEAH! Frosta barked and howled the whole way they got there. As her little legs touched the snow, she bolted straight for the frozen water. She laughed as she skated trhough the ice, spinning around, jumping, going backwards. The two adults lagged behind, their paws needing to get used to the cold snow. -I hate it here...! -Hordak growled. -I can't feel my paws! -We could get you some snow shoes when we get back! -Entrapta said as she rolled around in the snow. -HEY, SLOWPOKES! -Frosta yelled from the lake. -YOU'RE GONNA TAKE LONG THERE?! Hordak growled at the puppy's lack of respect. Entrapta just shook the snow off her fur and hopped over to the side of the lake with the cat following behind her. -Hey, Hordak, have you ever ice-skated before? You should try! It's really fun! -No, thank you! I doubt I could have even stand! -the clone shook his head. -It's not hard when you get the hang of it! -Entrapta flexed her paw so her claws were apparent. -You just gotta use your claws! When you step, instead of putting pressure in your paw pads, you put pressure on your toes, and your claws dig into the ice! That's why it leaves marks! Right, Frosta? The pup stoped in front of them, sitting on the ice, making a THUMP. -Yeah, I guess... -her ears perked up with mischief. -But he's too chicken to do it! Entrapta shot her a reprehending look and Hordak bared his teeth. -Oh, I'm a "chicken", am I?! -he growled. -Well, then! He got up and attempted to step into the ice, slippering. Frosta laughed as he slowly made his way into the frozen water, remembering Entrapta's advice to use his claws, he struggled as he dug too deep into the ice, making his paws stuck. -Yay, Hordikins! -Entrapta cheered him on. As soon as he made himself some-what stable, Frosta ran circles around him, barking teasingly, nipping at his legs and laughing. Hordak growled and hissed, nipping back at her, swipping his paws at her, while trying not to fall at the same time. -Can't get me! -she blew a raspberry. Hordak leaped at her, attempting to grab the puppy, minding his claws, of course! It quickly turned into a game of tag, if you would consider a dog pup against a full grown extremely technologically advanced clone soldier cat with razor sharp red teeth, a fair game. Frosta didn't seem to be having any problems, unlike Hordak. She ran around and pulled on his legs, causing him to fall on his side. -Frosta! Play nice! -Entrapta scolded. As the puppy turned around again, Hordak struggled to get up, she was about to give him another sarcastic comment when she noticed a crack on the ice right in front of him. Frosta opened her mouth to warn him, but he had taken the first step. The ice gave out underneath him and the cat sunk like a rock. -HORDAK! -she heard Entrapta's desperate cry. Frosta ran to him, grabing his collar and trying to pull him out. He was too heavy! He trembled and clawed at the borders in a desperate attempt to get out, but the ice broke at his sudden movements. She felt Entrapta's ears wrap around her and take her off the ground, pulling her back to the snow with Hordak. She refused to let go of his collar, even when they were on safe groud. Entrapta crawled under his chin to support his head, as he couldn't get up and kept shaking. -Hordak, are you okay? Can you stand up? -Entrapta nudged his cheek gently. Frosta looked at her for any kind of signal on what to do, but she could see tears starting to form on the corner of her eyes. -Inside... now... -Hordak coughed in a weak voice. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Frosta stared at Hordak's sleeping form, frozen in place. Guilt burned in her chest, as her ears dropped and her tail hid between her legs. "This is all my fault!", she repeated over, and over in her head. Entrapta had carried him inside and dried him up. Imp and Emily were in an absolute panic. Hordak laid surrounded in heaters, covered with a heavy blanket, cuddled with the winged kitten and the round bot, who were both also asleep. A loud growling sound came from Hordak. "He's probably mad at me!", she thought. Entrapta's paws tapped in the floor as she walked past the pup with a tray of tiny cups of hot cocoa. She set the tray aside and layed beside the clone, wrapping her ears around him and resting her head on his. The growling became louder, and Entrapta wagged her tail. Frosta took a step back and turned to walk out of tank. "I should go home...". -Frosta? She looked back over her shoulder to Entrapta. -Where are you going? -I'm... Going home... -she said in a low voice. -We're gonna take you home. -But why...? -"But why", why? -I thought... -she avoided the Princess' eyes. -You didn't want to talk to me anymore... -Why wouldn't I want to talk to you? -Entrapta raised her head, confused. -Because... Hordak fell in the ice... And it was my fault...! -I wasn't your fault! -she reached out her ears and wrapped them around Frosta again, bringing her close to them. -You couldn't possibly know the ice would break! It was just an accident! -I know, but still... -Frosta looked at Hordak. She couldn't see his face, but the growling sound echoed out off him in waves. -He's gonna be okay! He just needs to rest for a while and warm up! -Entrapta gave her a warm smile. -I just hope he doesn't get pneumonia... The pup looked back at the sleeping clone. Entrapta wasn't the best at comforting others, and Frosta felt even worst when she remembered how worried Entrapta sounded when Hordak fell in the water. Frosta was doing her best to hold back her tears, but it was very clear in her voice that she wanted to cry. And she hated it. -I don't think I want to hate him anymore... -What do you mean, Frosta? -I mean... He destroyed Etheria and... And he killed a bunch of people, but... B-but he was also nice to you... And he rebuilt Salineas... And he... And he was worried about me when I fell on the snow... -she sniffed. -But I should hate him... He did horrible stuff! Shouldn't I...? Entrapta hummed. She rested her chin on her paws she thought to herself. -I'm not good with other dogs, but I know it's hard to change your mind about someone. Especially if already didn't like them before.  -Entrapta held Frosta in a hug, in an attempt to comfort the puppy. -But if they're doing their best to change how they act, maybe you should try to change how you view them too! Like Perfuma always says: "What goes around, comes around!"! -What the fuck does that mean? -I don't know...! Frosta let her tears fall as she looked at her own paws, not knowing what to do to help. Entrapta dried her tears with her ears and planted a small kiss on the pup's head. She nudged the tray to Frosta, who took one of the tiny cups and drinked the hot cocoa. It made her feel a tiny bit better.

I really, really want to know what you guys think about my fics! I feel like I always rush everything, but I’m not the reader! Rebloging always helps!

[unikornu]

🌹, 🍂, 💐, 🌺, 💫, ☄️ for Lucy? 🍁, 🌸, 💦 for Harrison?

Thank you kindly for the asks! Let’s go:

Lucy: 

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

Home for Lucy is whenever she is sure no one from the fair distance and within same walls wants to stab her in her sleep. Nuka World under Harrison protection will be the most home-ish and safe place since also after the disciples wiping she did prove her worth and loyalty to the raider’s goals and now they no longer need to sleep with one eye open with Gage since Harrison is patrolling and staying up all nights and gang leaders might not have such a strong urge to betray her. Later eventually she will set up base back in Sanctuary in her mother’s home since they will need second solid base in Commonwealth and somewhere deep in the woods still lies a pre-war secret lab section  that will be important for Harrison in order to understand the experiment and maintain his power as well as his body. A place where she can put down her guard, where she can sense presence of her boss and be sure Gage is also nearby will always be worth calling home but there are few places like this since later on her reputation will be more knowledgeable to wasteland folks and she will be on wanted list of sort. 

So yeah what can i say...away from Nuka World home announcement for them would sound like so:  A small blond lady along with a raider thug and tall grumpy old man looking for a warm cave to duck in without worry of being pitchforked by angry local settlers and half of the commonwealth. Ain’t many places they can call home, poor fuckers. 

🍂 Does your OC enjoy hugs? What do they do as a show of affection for: their friends, their family, their significant other(s) or for strangers? Over all what are they like with receiving affection from others?

Oh she secretly loves hugs and affection of any kind but keeps in mind its better to leave them for very few and private moments. Besides how the hell that would make her look in society she is stuck with. Harrison and type of her job forced her to strip her mind from emotions as they were useless and making her weak but once the events calmed down they do come at peace and leave that part behind. With friends in public like Lizzie she will bump against their shoulder with a smile or chuckle, its safe in public and still reflects that she feels good in their company. With Harrison she will just bury herself in deep fatherly hug when gone for a few days, especially he is very tall and big so its like hugging a yao guai just in a brown thick coat. And because she never had a good father experience that hug will mean a world to them. With Gage she knows he has a hard time to be soft fucker but as the time goes on, the affection switches from small things, like checking his patch out and forcing to help taking care of his wounds too, not just hers, into letting down the bitch tough face and raider stiff attitude. Inviting him for the drink, just two of them, closing the distance and ending up just resting against his chest or sleeping hugged to his back. If the urge is strong and rules can go fuck themselves she will just charge at him and let all that sweet stuffed in her chest love drown him. 

As for people who didn’t reach yet friend level any kind of touching contact which doesn’t involve knife is for her a way to show affection. Be it soft fist bump in their arm, fast shoulder shake or very split millisecond side hug. Hell, even if she smiles at them its already a good sign, and in a humane soft manner, not the smirky bitch one. If her resting bitch face goes away its already a fantastic sign and promising future she won’t stab them later on. 

💐 How does your OC handle being unwell or forced to rest in bed? Who cares for them and in what ways? Does your OC enjoy being doted on or are they a terrible patient? Reversed: is your OC good at taking care of others who are ill or in need?

If you tell her to do that when there is shiet to be done and there almost always is in her mind you will see a constant middle finger, raised from the bed and the moment you turn around or leave she will be gone, sneaking away to get at least her knife and try to leave outside. She was raised to fulfill mission, no matter what so a stupid cold or broken bone is suppose to nail her in place. Fuck no, she can’t right? She can’t be that weak even if pain sweats her eyes. Gage learns slowly her urges as with each park taken he sees her taking extreme solutions to many situations, not thinking about possible bad outcomes so when the really bad cold catches her or she got badly wounded again he will be the one yelling at her to stop that shit. Aside from usual care like shoving injections or closing wounds and occasional cooking he will be constantly ensuring her that she can close both eyes shut and get an actual restful sleep, that he is on the watch and nothing out there waits to kill her when she ain’t looking. World neither will fall apart in flames if she will be gone in dreams for few hours. With Harrison come back that part is becoming easier as the simple sharp look in his eyes of mixed care and threat is convincing enough to put that knife down and shove her ass back in bed. With Gage guarding the Fizztop and Harrison overlooking the rest of the town there is no way of sneaking out and in this case it would be a bit ungrateful since they both put so much effort for her. 

She is better at taking care of others than herself tho if these are in her social circle. She doesn’t need to force herself, it comes natural to her. She will switch in a second from a vicious bitch to a caring bitch. Trying even to overcome her lack of cooking skills to deliver something warm and edible to that person if need. If she can’t get that fucking soup perfect for shit she will threaten and kidnap a local masterchef of sort to make and teach her how to do it. She means well but...ya remember her empathy can have weird and extreme outcomes.

Lol imagining like someone being under her care when sick and they go to the bathroom and spot a chef cook in a kitchen chained to a fucking stove cooking some good shit and Lucy siting at the table reading a cooking recipe and pointing a pistol at them.          

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

Normally she would drink or take calmex right away but she slowly tries to give up on that addiction as they do more harm than good. Having Gage or Harrison around will help to break that thought if she can either crawl up to Porter’s bed or wake him up to ensure that everything is real and alright or kindly ask Harrison to watch over her as he doesn’t need to sleep. Maybe he looks like a nightmare in a dark but its her nightmare she is familiar with.

If alone tho she will struggle, she hates to be alone for too long. If fear strikes her at battlefield she will try to cover her fear and damp it down with anger instead, psycho or fury could help and she isn’t addicted to it as to calmex so that’s one way out but stupid. If its just a nightmare in a middle of a night she won’t go immediately to sleep but walk around, talking to herself and convincing it was just a dream, grab a mannequin, do a silly dance with it, anything silly to relax a mind and take it off the stress and that nightmare. A shot of booze won’t hurt as long as it ends up on just one but it rarely does. Reassurance is her best ally in these beside she is too big of a girl for comforting items like an old plush puppet found in some certain treehouse back in Sancturary....right...riiiiight? ._.

💫What is your favorite fact about this character and why?

I think the simple fact that she is kind of evil oc and she knows about it. I don’t think there is many characters of this kind out there but i might be wrong. Since childhood i was trying to strike best - peaceful outcomes in games and so on but later on i started to sympathize with actual villains, be it games and stories. They can be full of surprises and complex in a interesting way, prove to be actually powerful allies as well and in general they talk to me more than a basic superman trying to strike for a world peace.  

☄️ Does this OC deserve better treatment from you? Do you make them suffer just a little bit too much? Be nice to them!

Oh ye, ofc she deserves better, she wants hugs, friends, she is bad but she wants a warm treatment too from time to time, she still have emotions ;c  Me, the creator, Uni, i’m horrible to her. I burned her hands too, like noooooo you can’t just wear gloves all the time for no reason, lets do smth bout it that will fit with all that dedication ya willing to push yourself in a fight no matter the consequences. Get burned bitch. Anyway, i’m taking her off the calmex addiction, giving her Harrison back as a better man who wants to protect her and do braids on her hair and softening the stinky to a level of a warm wet piece of trash, maybe getting some actual friends on a way. The pages on a start were focus more on a action and game lore kind off and just parks themselves but now with last page i finally get to actually break down and slow the shit to get to more emotional level, at least i hope to get it that way. 

Now Harrison time:

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themselves? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favorite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Sadly he will be very lost at the start to find this kind of spot as he popped into the world from nowhere, just finally doing the separation from Lucy to a nearby old synth skeleton in a heat of a fight situation. Since the disciples base got a vacancy and cleaning it up feels too much of an effort for the rest of gangs he decided to make this place his comfort zone as its fairly close to Feit base but still separated behind walls, no windows to peek in for curious ones. He can’t sleep so he has a plenty of time to make it his corner. The only things he posses are his memories so he will just meditate there and surround himself with all the good moments from the past, adding the new ones to the collection, keeping his humanity on check and all the urges balanced. Also trying new tricks with his powers feels safe to do it there, the telekinetic ones especially since the place is spacey and there ain’t much to break. He doesn’t want to go too far away even if he needs a moment, he always has in the back of his head the need to be close when problems arise.

Personally on a side note i struggle to think of an explanation to the Nuka World leaders and overall people there as to how Lucy will explain to them...who the fuck he is and why he is there and where he came from and why give him a disciple base. Like...saying a truth to Gage is easier since they run together but the rest? She can’t even say he is her lost-found father since they don’t even look like family. 

🌸 What are some of their favorite things and why? List as many as you can think of!

There won’t too many as he just got off but some basic stuff i know for now:

- sweet snacks, whiskey and smokes as he still remembers these tastes from pre-war: just being softie for these small habits and diet sins

- being in charge, keeping order around due to his profession, even if times changes he still keeps the attitude and he just likes it

- training the newbie raiders, pointing out mistakes to Porter, advising Lucy on some combat moves and tips: it might feel like he is being proud, all knowing but he actually is hell of a experienced smart fighter, don’t get fooled by his age either, he just enjoys training people under him and see them improve  

- proving Porter wrong: oh boy they really don’t like each other at the start

- doing dem braids, he starts to have a soft spot for going father mode

- even if he isn’t fully human he takes care of his “shell”, perfectly shaving, keeping his shirts clean and smooth, overall he enjoys that “self care” routine even it it might feel silly in the wasteland and due to the fact who he is 

💦 If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

Probably killing his son. The experiment would get to him one way or another since he would get suspicious what kind of shady business is going on in police department and asking too many questions and stuffing nose in corners he shouldn’t would eventually lead anyway to his assassination and still giving his body for that experiment resulting in same outcome but the sudden trauma and speed of events is what pushed him out of there, taking control of himself and situation also resulting in his nature softening and toning down, knowing he doesn’t have much left and it can be lost at any moment. 

[dreamsandimagination]

So I found this on an Amber forum and I’m crying my eyes out:

You people are always knocking my pal Corwin. Now I'm gonna insult your favorite Amberite, and I'm gonna make it hurt. 

Dworkin: Thief. Has a diploma from the Josef Mengele school of gem setting and emergency optometry. Unicorn fucker. 

Oberon: A big fat evil oompa loompa. Serial adulterer. Liar and murderer. Father to a whole horde of evil gits. Smelly feet. Grumpy old man. 

Finndo: Dead jerk who probably killed lots of people. Obscure to the point of being annoying. 

Osric: Another dead jerk who probably killed a bunch of people. Also, his trump looks just like Vincent Price and that's a sure sign of him being a chicken-shit. 

Benedict: Probably the biggest mass murderer that has ever lived. Need more? OK, He's probably a bad boss also, being Mr. freaking perfect and all. No sense of humor. Emo bastard. 

Bleys: Mr #2, otherwise known as NOT THE BEST AT ANYTHING! Thinks he's hot shit on a silver plate. Gets laid too much. Has Red hair. 

Eric: Dead. Failure. Wanted to be just like daddy. Looks dumb in a crown. Attempted murderer. Eyeball burner. Petty loser. Got killed by a damn rock. 

Julian: Stuck up jerk. Takes his love of horse's just a little to far. Wears his armor to bed. Secretly has a set of LoTR action figures that he plays with when alone. Wishes he was named Aragorn. 

Caine: Possibly dead Murderer. Weak-wristed. Wears green too much. Sailor. Double crossing liar so untrustworthy his mirror won't bother showing his refection cause he'd try to kill it. Fakes his death so much no one cares any more. 

Gerard: Bully. Chicken headed imbecile. Enjoys wrestling with his brothers a touch more than is acceptable. Sometimes sneaks up on his brothers while they are sleeping and tries to "wrestle" with them. Poor with stairs. Drinks out of a freaking horn. 

Random: Weasel. Selfish enough to actually enjoy playing drum solos. Bribed the Unicorn with a promise to "put a leash on Dworkin". Only married to Vialle so he can have someone to cheat on who won't kill themselves. 

Brand: Dead jerk. More with the freaking green? Red hair! Bat-shit crazy. Draws pornographic trumps of his sisters and sells them to strangers. On the good side, he once tried to fix the whole mess but got himself killed. Incompetent failure. Archery target. 

Dalt: Bastard son of Oberon and some crazy murderous wench with a religious complex. Stupid enough to think he can out asshole a whole family of professional assholes. A friend of Luke. 

Luke: Son of the nutcase. Mother was a half demon slut with poisonous dentures. Liar. Collects rocks. Assassin. Coward. Smiles while he pees in your coffee. 

Merlin: Patsy. Moron. Pathetic. Inbred. Plays the banjo and eats applesauce through a straw. Mana junkie. Cheats on every woman he meets. Is the Typhoid Mary of trans-shadow venereal diseases. 

Martin: Sucker for spam Trump calls. Has a unhealthy fetish for body modification. Emo. Thinks punk rock is still in style. Wears leather and thinks it makes him "cool". Smells strongly like incense. Misses his mommy. 

Fiona: Professional bitch. Actually has a license for said profession. Went to school to become better at being a bitch. Graduated first in her class. Red hair. Actually is guilty of quite more that malice. 

Florimel: Slut. Won't put out with my characters. Has an unhealthy relationship with her wolfhounds. Wears hoop skirts when she knows they are soooo last year. Carries dildo shaped hand grenades in her purse. 

Llewella: Has a name that is commonly misspelled. Needs to wash that damn green algae from her hair. Watery Tart. Intentionally obscure to the point that I don't care any more. 

Deirdre: Room temperature. Biggest tease in Amber. Never around enough. Probably speaks in a french accent cause she thinks it's sexy. Kills innocent werewolves. Suffers from a terminal case of Woman in Danger Syndrome. Couldn't out wrestle Brand. Likes to Bite.

[gingywritesimagines]

Mistakes and Decisions (Part 1)

Title: Mistakes and Decisions

Chapter: 1

Fandom: Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda/ Love, Simon

Pairing: Leah Burke x fem!reader

Description: After a series of realizations, you break out of certain sticky situations in search of a new start… and definitely some new friends

Warnings: toxic friendships, cursing, Martin Addison (evil fucker is a warning on his own. Fuck you Martin Addison, go die Martin Addison), heartbreak, further evidence that Simon Spier deserves to be loved

A/N: As promised, my Love, Simon fic series. This is how we’re wrapping up 20gayteen folks. This is pretty much as much anti-M*rtin *ddison propaganda as it is a Leah fanfic (I’m angry and self-projecting, sorry). Also, this has some Suraj appreciation stuff because we know next to nothing about him but he seems like a chill dude who unfortunately got stuck being friends with M*rtin of all people. Anyway, I’m thinking of breaking this into five parts (one for each of the remaining months of the year), let me know what you think

You knew being friends with Martin Addison was a mistake.

Of course, it wasn’t all terrible; being friends with him almost guaranteed you a role in the school play, and you were introduced to Suraj, who was kind, funny, and actually a pretty good friend.

However, despite being friends since elementary school, the bad vastly outweighed the good. After years upon years of “friendship”, judgement became clouded, shadowing the fact that he was often manipulative and somewhat controlling, and just a douchebag in general. This unfortunately meant that it took you forever to realize these truths. When you did find out, it was because of the little things: his “brutally honest critiques” that became much more frequent, little comments and suggestions that seemed more about keeping you a certain way than being honest or helpful, the way he blatantly cast you aside with a hint of a holier-than-thou attitude whenever Abby Suso was around, and the sketchy way he acted around Simon Spier that made you all kinds of uncomfortable. However, there were some not-so-little things that helped you realize the truth too.

For example, Bram’s Halloween party...

You had lunch to yourself that day, since Suraj was working with Ms. Albright on instrumentals for the play, and While looking for a place to sit, you saw Simon, Abby, Bram Greenfeld, Leah Burke, Nick Eisner and Garrett Laughlin sitting at a table talking. They were all clearly very engaged in the conversation, and you were contemplating joining them, when you saw Garrett stand up.

“All right, hey, guys, Halloween party Friday night!” he hollered at passers-by, “Friday night, Halloween party, okay? Bram’s house!”

You giggled as you watched him point out a random freshman who you were pretty sure had never met Garrett before in his life, “Hey, little guy!”

“Me?”

“Halloween party. Friday night. Bram’s house. Be there.”

You laughed some more at the look on the freshman’s face, prompting Garrett to turn around when he heard you, “(Y/n)! Party at Bram’s house, Friday night, you in?”

“Sure, I’m in.” You chuckled, “If I can come sit with you guys.”

An instant chorus of “of course” and “hell yeah, come sit down” flooded your ears as Garrett led you to a seat across from Leah and Simon. The rest of lunch was fun, filled with joking and laughter, and plans for the coming party.

A couple days later, you got a call after school. You answered reluctantly, seeing as hardly anyone called you, but you weren’t sure why you were surprised when the first thing you heard was a butchered German accent on the other end of the line.

“Why hello there, Fraulien.”

You sighed immediately, pinching the bridge of your nose, “Hi, Martin.”

“What’s with the sigh?”

“Well, for starters, your German accent needs serious work.”

You heard Martin scoff, and then the faint sound of shuffling, like he was digging around for something, “My German accent is fantastic, grumpy pants, and that’s not why I’m calling.”

“Then why are you calling, exactly?”

“I have been invited to a party this Friday-”

“Bram’s Halloween party?”

There was a pause, and a noticeable change in Martin’s voice at his next sentence, “You already know about the party?”

“Yeah.” You said slowly, “Garrett invited me right after Bram told him about it. I was thinking about asking Suraj if he can drive me.”

There was another pause, and for a moment you thought the line had gone dead, “Martin? You still there?”

“I have to go. I’ll see you later.”

His voice was strained as he ended the call, as though he was talking through gritted teeth. You were confused but ignored it, choosing instead to focus on picking a costume.

When the day arrived, Suraj picked you up at 8:30, decked out in a clearly home-made Waldo outfit. 

“Nice costume.” He commented, gesturing to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent outfit you’d thrown together.

“Thanks! And thanks again for driving me.”

“Of course. What are besties for?” Smiling, Suraj pulled out of your driveway and headed for Bram’s house.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay you? Not even for gas money?”

“(Y/N), the only reason I’d ever let you pay me is if you’re going to pay me in memes.”

You shook your head at that, laughing, “Of course. How ridiculous of me.” 

You spoke the last part in a German accent when you turned to see an unholy amount of props for the play in the back seat.

“Yeah, please don’t tell Ms. Albright I left those back there.” Your friend laughed, “Your accent is great though! Way better than Martin’s if I’m being honest.”

“Yeah, his needs work. What he doesn’t need is to know that I got that good from watching and re-watching the X-Men animated series over and over and over again until my accent was on par with Nightcrawler’s.”

“Nice!”

The two of you continued to laugh and joke until you made it to Bram’s street, parking a few houses away since you were certain there’d be no space any closer to the house. When you walked in, Garrett was wrapping up a karaoke performance of Megan Trainor’s No- jumping around to the beat in his Michael Phelps costume- and Simon was waving you into the kitchen with him. You bid farewell to Suraj and ran over to compliment Simon on his John Lennon outfit.

“Thank you, agent.” he smiled, “Bram was just about to pour us some drinks, do you want anything?”

“Not right now, thanks, I’m okay.” you turned to Bram, “Nice costume though! Tourist?”

“Um, excuse you, I’m post-presidency Barak Obama.” Bram corrected you, chuckling,

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Obama. I mean nothing but respect for my president.”

The boys laughed as you turned to Nick, “You didn’t dress up?”

Nick shook his head, turning around to show you the nametag taped across his shoulder blades, “I’m Cristiano Ronaldo, man.”

You cringed slightly, “Loving the effort you put in, Nick.”

“Shut up.” He grumbled, chuckling as Bram nudged him and handed the boys their drinks.

A large portion of the party went by in a blur. You spent some time chatting with the boys in the kitchen, then went to the backyard to find Leah and Abby (dressed as Yoko Ono and Wonder Woman, respectively) and dance with them for a while. Abby mostly just swayed, hiding from Martin who came up behind her, but Leah joked around with you as best she could.

“I can’t dance for the life of me, I’m warning you now.” She laughed.

“Come on.” You giggled, “I’m sure you’re fantastic.”

You gently took her hand, twirling her around and relishing in the small smile that etched across her face. You’d always liked Leah; she was kind and polite and undoubtedly pretty. She looked even prettier twirling, hand in hand with you, in the neon lights of the party and the glow of the illuminated swimming pool behind her-

Your moment was cut short as Abby was dragged away to play Beirut, and your stomach growling sent you inside for snacks. As you turned into the kitchen, you found Garrett there, poking his head into the fridge.

“Hey Garrett!” you greeted him cheerfully, but the second he heard your voice, he bolted.

“Garrett?” you called after him, confused as to why he was blatantly ignoring you, “Garrett! Stop!”

You grabbed his wrist, forcing him to turn and look at you, “What is going on? Why did you just run from me?”

He took a shaky breath, looking very reluctant to tell you anything, “Look, I’m sorry, (Y/N), I didn’t want to, but I had to.”

“You had to?”

“Look, Martin- he told me off. Yelled at me about inviting you here and gave some speech about how you’re off-limits to, like, everyone. I’m pretty sure he threatened me, and that’s not a big deal because there’s no way in hell I’m afraid of Martin, but I listened because I didn’t want anything to happen to you. You’re really nice and you’re super chill and we all love hanging out with you; I’d hate myself if something happened because of me-”

You saw Nick standing a little ways behind Garrett, looking between the two of you and nodding, as though confirming that Martin had told him the same thing.

“Wait, wait, wait.” You cut off Garrett’s rambling, practically seething with rage, “Martin did what?”

Garrett gulped, but before he could say anything, the devil himself turned the corner.

“Hey guys!” Martin greeted casually, throwing his arm across your shoulders and shooting daggers at Garrett in a not-so-subtle manner, “Garrett, what are you doin’, buddy?”

“Martin.” You began calmly, gripping his arm and quite literally throwing it back at him in anger and disgust, “Did you threaten Garrett to keep him away from me?”

The boy glared between you and Michael Phelps repeatedly, before feigning innocence with a scoff, “What? No, that’s ridiculous. Why would I do that?”

“Oh.” you turned to face him, “So you didn’t tell him off for inviting me to this party? And you didn’t tell everyone that I’m off limits?”

You saw his face change, but he slipped back into an innocent smile quickly, “No, no, of course not.”

Garrett looked between you and Martin with an expression that mixed both fear and curiosity, as you shook your head angrily.

“You lying son of a bitch!” You lunged at Martin, straining as Nick and Garrett held you back. Your anger grew as Martin’s face turned guilty and he ran for his life. You broke free from the boys’ grasp and chased after him, more than ready to give him a piece of your mind, when you saw him run into Simon. The poor kid looked annoyed too, but it got worse when Martin threw up all over him.

“Really?” You heard him cry, gesturing angrily to his shirt, “Really?”

Martin ran off again, and you went to follow him when a gentle hand held you back by your shoulder. You looked up to see Suraj gazing down at you, an almost regretful expression on his face, “Leave it. I’ll take him home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, “You just take care of yourself, okay?”

“Thank you, Suraj.” You hugged him one last time before he slipped out into the crowd. As he left, you turned your attention as far away from Martin as you could.

“Simon!” you called, racing up to him, “I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

He went to answer you, but froze momentarily, “Why are you sorry?”

“What?”

“Why are you sorry? (Y/N), you did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, but Martin just threw up all over you and-”

“So?” Simon asked, a small look of concern evident in his eyes, “That was Martin, not you. (Y/N)…. how long have you been apologizing for Martin? I don’t think I’ve noticed before, but every time Martin screws up, you’re always right behind him with an apology. (Y/N), I’m sure you mean well, but how long can you keep doing that before it messes you up inside? How long before you realize that no matter how badly it messes you up, Martin probably isn’t going to apologize for that?”

You sighed, realizing that he had a very good point, but you still didn’t say anything. Simon opened his mouth to say something else, but a small voice behind you cut him off.

“(Y/N)?”

You turned to see Leah behind you, holding her hat in her hands. She fidgeted with the brim a little before speaking up again, “I heard what happened, with Martin and Garrett.”

Your face fell at that. You hated that this drama had flared up and that it happened at such a public place. Leah sighed and cleared her throat.

“Look, after the party, I’m going to sleepover at Simon’s.” She paused, looking over your head at Simon for consent before continuing, “Do you wanna come with us, (Y/N)?”

You sniffled, picking your head back up and smiling at her weakly, “I’d love to.”

After getting Simon a change of clothes from Bram (on old t-shirt and his mom’s white cardigan), the three of you marched back to Simon’s. Spier, being very drunk, was draped between you and Leah, stumbling and slurring and making you both laugh at his antics. He even started murmuring songs from the play, trying to do the choreography as he walked and almost knocking you and Leah over in the process. As you got closer, Simon suddenly yelled.

“Oh my god!”

“What? What?”

“My parents are still up.” He cried, running a stressed hand through his hair.

“Okay, okay, um.” Leah racked her brain for a quick solution, while you focused on keeping Simon upright, “Okay, you know what? Here, come on. I need you to think of something really sad like the documentary about how all the whales hate living at SeaWorld.”

“Too sad!” You and Simon protested in unison.

“God, okay.” Leah chuckled, exasperated, “Then just don’t say anything at all, and we’ll ditch the barf shirt until tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Simon nodded and you watched as Leah chucked the bag with Simon’s trashed clothes straight over the roof of his car.

When Simon started to topple over, both you and Leah grabbed him, “Si?”

“Yeah.”

“Just, as little as possible.” Leah reiterated, “Say as little as possible.”

You tried to all sneak in, but Mrs. Spier called out before you all made it upstairs, “Hey, guys!”

Leah cringed before leaning into the den, “Hey!”

“Come talk to us! How was the party?”

“Oh, it was really fun! Yeah!”

“Aces!” Simon added, trying really hard to not look as drunk as he was, “Hey, uh, you guys remember (Y/N), right?”

You waved to them both and watched as Mr. Spier squinted at you, clearly trying to remember you. Mrs. Spier recognized you instantly.

“Oh, yeah, (Y/N)! I remember you from the fifth grade science field trip! You told me I was pretty.”

You giggled, “You remember that?”

“Of course! Are you sleeping over too?”

“Oh yeah, my ride backed out on me last minute and your house is a much closer walk than mine, so Simon invited me. I hope that’s okay.”

“Oh, no, of course, sweetie! Of course, you’re always welcome here.”

“Are you saying that because she’s Simon’s friend or are you saying that because she called you pretty?” Mr. Spier joked, resulting in a playful slap to the shoulder from his wife.

Leah chuckled awkwardly, grabbing Simon, “Well, thanks for letting us stay over!” 

“Oh, Leah, of course!” Mrs. Spier cried, oblivious to Leah shoving you and Simon up the stairs as discreetly as possible, “You’ve been staying over for 10 years, you don’t have to thank us.”

“Oh.” Leah laughed, inching her way towards the stairs, “Yeah, thanks.”

You all made your way up the stairs, very cautious of Simon’s stumbling and the fact that his sister was still asleep. After Simon sobered up a little, you all got comfortable in his room, figuring out sleeping arrangements and such. Simon was on his bed, Leah was on a bonus pull-out mattress, and you were on a blow-up camping mattress on the floor.

“Do you ever feel weird?” Leah asked suddenly.

Her and Simon launched into a conversation as you zoned out. The night’s events played out in your head, and the more they played, the more they made you sick. It seemed like the only good thing that came out of tonight was this, Simon and Leah, taking care of you as only Leah and (drunk) Simon can- with kind words and a soft distraction.  

“Hey.” Leah spoke gently, placing her hand over yours and drawing you back to reality, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” You reassured her, shaking your head, “Yeah, it’s just this whole Martin thing has been exhausting. I think I’m gonna go to sleep.”

They both looked at you sadly, nodding in understanding and watching you slip further under the blankets- not once letting go of Leah’s hand.

“Goodnight guys.” You offered them a small smile.

Simon returned it, “Goodnight, (Y/N).”

“Goodnight.” Leah whispered as she squeezed your hand before letting it go.

You smiled again, brighter this time, and fell asleep gazing in the direction of the two kind souls ahead of you. No matter what the future held for you in terms of friends, you knew these two seemed like a pretty good start.

Taglist: @mcoomcoo @fandomsneverdie14 @berry-kitten-paws @tina20213

[radical-boy]

Adventure.txt

I walked up the concrete stairs--two steps!--and then I was out of breath. Anyone would be out of breath if they were carrying as many books as I was. I couldn’t help it though; I was studying to pass the IQ test! Those who did not pass were never chosen. I was going to be chosen though--they laugh at me now but they won’t be when I’m the Dragon Master!!!!!!!

Today’s field of study was flight. I had to make sure I could answer every riddle the Dragon King would ask me about flight. Chihuahuas are good dogs even if they are hideous. Their light weight made them perfect for long-distance flying companions, but it was a little known fact that dragons preferred them. Preferred them to eat, that is!!! In truth, cats made much better companions; they never fall off.

“Meow! Ready for the test yet?” my feline companion Griswald asked--she talks.

“Yes Crookshanks,” I called her affectionately, even though she hated the Harry Potter series.

“Ay! Me name’s GRISWALD ye twat!” she yowled.

I set my books down on the table and held my hands out for cuddles. Griswald side-eyed me, but quickly gave in. Not even a grumpy cat could resist cuddles. She purred in delight as I scratched the backs of her ears. Lava is a great way to wipe shit off yer ass. That’s how dragons do it anyways, with their fireproof scales. I aspire to that level of hardass. And if I was--when I was--chosen to be the Dragon Master, I finally will reach that aspiration.

WWWWEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! It was the alarm to take the IQ test!!! It sure woke everyone up 100%. I quickly scampered out of the library, ditching my books. Griswald grabbed onto my clothes tightly and held on as we sprinted to the exam building. It was in the center of town, just past the fruit venders… and I stopped because I smelled some delicious apple pie.

“Don’t get distracted!” Griswald yowled in my ear, digging her claws into my shoulder just a pinch.

“OW! Jeez, okay.”

The building was the ugliest in town. It was tall and grey and had just one window all the way up on the fourth floor. That was how flying dragons got in and out. Everyone else had to enter through the big white front door, and answer a riddle before the guard would let them in. To dragons, riddles were just like memes. Dragons loved memes; in fact, they created a guild called The Meme Loving Fucks. Most of the riddles at the door were just memes these days. I approached the front door and knocked three times--as was customary-- and the guard opened a little peephole.

“Here come dat boi,” a tiny green dragon gurgled through an alligator-like mouth.

“Oh shit…” I whispered.

“WHADDUP!!!” screeched Griswald, winking at me.

The dragon was most impressed, thinking we had planned that out beforehand. I, however, was still very confused--why did Griswald shout “whaddup” into me ear????? I didn’t dare ask though, and instead slipped past the chortling swamp dragon.  

“So, you dare enter my building and place of knowledge, eh? To take the IQ test, I presume??” said the swamp dragon.

“Yes,” I said to the guard, “which way should I go?”

“The opposite of Left Shark,” the dragon guard said.

“Ah, I see,” I said, though I did not, in fact, see. I was blind. The lights inside were so bright, I could only make out the corners of the rooms.

“Uhhh… go that way,” Griswald whispered, pointing to the right.

“Face God and walk backwards into hell!” the guard said in traditional parting. I bowed, kissing my kneecaps in the traditional way, and gallivanted off into the distance.

“Just follow the memes,” Griswald advised as the lights dimmed to visible luminance.

The hallway was one long mural painted with a large green ogre, and on the floor the word cofveve was inscribed golden cursive letters.  We got to the other end, and the hall forked off into five different directions.

“Which way should we go first?” I asked Griswald.

“YOU MEAN YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE WHICH HALLWAY HAS A MEME?” she screamed into my ear.

“Uh….” I stammered, not knowing a thing.

“Obviously, we go right, towards The Colors of the Sky mural on the wall,” she grumbled. I looked towards the rightmost tunnel, which had Do You Love The Colors of The Sky? written above the entrance. The walk was long, but beautiful, and I felt like I was flying through the changing sky. Soon, it got dark in the tunnel, and I wanted to lay down and sleep under the beautiful stars.

Grisland gently kneaded her paws in me to keep me awake. The kneading was soothing and made me want to sleep even more; I laid down gently on the floor and promptly began to snore.

Griswald used a very powerful spell to wake me up, screaming, “WAKE ME UP INSIDE!” to jar me from my slumber.

“SANTIAGO” I shouted upon waking, as was customary.

“What good manners,” Griswald praised me. She licked my hair into my face so I was more emo than before.

Finally, the hallway was colored dawn, and I felt more awake and refreshed than ever. The hallway opened into a big, huge circle with a ladder going up and a trap door in the middle of the room. Unfortunately, the trap door was covered in some very alluring Comic Sans. It didn’t matter what was written in the most holy of fonts; I was compelled to enter.

The door fell out under my feet and Griswald screamed in utter bliss as we plummeted down into the darkness. Once again, I felt the supreme desire to sleep, but I stayed awake because I didn’t want to hear any more of Griswork’s “singing.” The dark hole slowly began to take on the shape and color of a distantly familiar meme. Suddenly, I was sitting on a cloud, coming up over the horizon. Griswald’s fur bristled up so much she looked like a Tribble.

“Ba?! Ha ba ba?!! Ha bagada!!” a dog barked from a red airplane.

“I hate this meme,” Grisland yowled quietly. I, however, loved it.

“Ba! Ba! Ba!” the dog and I barked in total harmony. We began to sing and it resonated against the viscous cloud I perched upon, vibrating ever-so-slightly until it faded along with the other dog. At first, it looked like the void we were falling through was turning black again. But instead, flowers appeared in the distance and the air grew more and more liquid until I was sure we were underwater.

“GET BACK TO WORK ME BOYYYYYYYYYYOOOOO!!!!” a voice yelled louder than sound itself.

“Which meme is this?” I asked the cat.

“This meme represents the overlord bourgeois demanding endless work from the lowly proletariat,” she answered solemnly. I watched as the yellow square shaped “boyo” excitedly scampered into a kitchen area.

“I love you Krabby Patty,” he whispered to some juicy meat pressed between swollen buns. The Krabby Patty grew to the size of a small luxury vehicle and embraced the boyo.

“We should go,” Griswald said, tears in her voice. “Us mortals were not meant to see such beauty.” I agreed, but I was no longer in control of where we would go; a force I could not understand would take us to and fro.

Suddenly, an ax came through the flowery wall! An evil cackle was heard and I looked around and we were in a forest! I could no longer find that horrible ax anywhere around me. I looked down at my leg, feeling something odd, and saw that it was oozing blood!

“SHIA SURPRISE!” Griswald warned me, looking behind me in horror. I wrestled the burly man for the ax in his hand, and then I discovered myself decapitating my would-be assassin.

With a thud, we hit the bottom of the long void we’d been falling through, music playing in the distance as the dead body slowly faded.

Mmm whatcha sayyy, the music somberly screeched. I felt tears fill my eyes. I was ready for the next test.

“ARE YOU READY FOR A ROUND OF GUESS-THE-NEXT-LYRICS?????” boomed a very, VERY large dragon who descended upon us.

“HELL YEAH!” I shouted in equal glee.

“Then prepare your mortal heart for the biggest musical sounds in history…”

I stilled my beating heart and prepared myself for what came next.

The dragon opened its mouth and bellowed, “I AM GAY, GAY, GAY!” and then looked at me for the next lyrics.

I closed my eyes and felt time slow before me as I belted the next lyrics: “I LIKE LONG BIG COCKS, I AM SUPER SUPER GAY, I LIKE LONG BIG COCKS!!!!”

The dragon, with tears of lava pouring from their eyes, nodded in passionate agreement and said, “Let’s try a more aged song.”

I smiled, ready to accept my next challenge.

In a screechy voice, the dragon sang, “We’re no strangers to looooooooove…”

I instantly knew what I had to do next; I had to sing. “You know the rules! And so Do I!!”

The rest of the lyrics played over some loud speakers and confetti began to fly. It was the Dragon Conglomerate Anthem; every citizen knew it by heart. It played now on every speaker in the world to announce that I had passed the IQ test.

“Congration, you done it,” the dragon cried, handing me a diploma. It was, of course, written in Comic Sans. Its soft pink paper absorbed my tears and the glitter delicately coated every layer of my body. The anthem faded into a smooth Vaporwave version of the song--the Victory Version of the Dragon Conglomerate Anthem. Dragons everywhere came out of the shadows and began to dance and pulse to the pounding rhythm. My skin began to turn to scales as I joined dragonkind. The transformation was almost complete; I just had one more thing to do before I gained my wings.

“Go,” the dragon said, “and seek the Bone Hurting Juice potion to gain your wings.”

I didn’t want to; I was afraid; I was petrified.

“What if I give you a better meme?” I offered them.

“Then you would be a wingless dragon, for I cannot grant you the wings you must have.”

I understood. I evaporated into the black abyss in search of my potion. The first place I thought to search was Candy Mountain.

“You’ve got to come to Candy Mountain with us, Chaaaaarlieee,” a pretty pink unicorn sighed.

“Dear god, keep an eye on your kidney,” Griswaln warned. I took an eyeball out of my head, placing the spare on my kidney; if any of those fuckers tried to steal my kidney, I would be the first to know about it.

The pretty licorice letters began to sing and dance for me.

[blessuswithblogs]

Top Ten Videocons of Twenty Seventeen, More or Less

2017 has, by all accounts, been a fantastic year for Video Games. Unfortunately for me, it has been a not so fantastic year in Having Money. So while in a perfect world my now annual game of the year list would have been a terribly contested and dramatic affair of cutting games I thought were good but just didn't make it, in actuality, I had to scramble and cheat a little to just find 10 games to slot in and talk about. I did at least manage to find them. Mostly.

10. Destiny 2

Destiny is a franchise with a troubled history, which feels weird to say about something that came out in late 2014. Nevertheless, Destiny 2's shooty looty gameplay loop finds its way on to my list. The story is tepid and the characters, with a few exceptions, are scarcely worthy of memory, but the visuals are good and the core mechanics of shooting and using abilities are a solid foundation to build upon in the inevitable flurry of DLC packages and expacs. It's all quite reminiscent of Borderlands, except without the unmistakable caustic ooze of Randy Pitchford's involvement. That in and of itself is praiseworthy.

9. Gravity Rush 2/Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze

Okay so I maybe didn't actually play this one myself. I usually try to exclude stuff that I watched and enjoyed but in this case I was sitting on the couch with other people playing it so that's basically the same thing as playing it myself right? I think I held the controller for a little bit. Anyway this game is super weird and charming and a little nauseating in parts because you sort of go flying off into the stratosphere randomly? But the aesthetic and Mood the game goes for is very unique and fun, it even has its own cute little made up language I mistook for French at first until I heard some Japanese and Spanish sounding words in there as well. The main characters Kat and Raven are dating I think? They're happy and alive girlfriends. Raven is a little broody I guess but they're definitely not the Sad, Dead Lesbians I have grown to detest. Raven is not Velvet. Just reminding myself. Tropical Freeze is just really good and while it maybe came out like years ago I only got to play it very recently on my friend's Wii U. The music is super good fuck you Jeff Gerstmann I will fucking fight you and your shitty opinions about video games you god damned grumpy old man.

8. The Surge

My Thoughts on the Surge are well documented on this very website. It's flawed and frustrating in a lot of ways, nonsensical in others, and the story never quite commits to its original conceit which is a real shame. All that said, I respect the game for what it was unabashedly trying to do: be Dark Souls but with cyborg powerloaders and robots. Like, you gotta live your bliss, right? Lords of the Fallen was utterly miserable and the improvements that The Surge demonstrates gives me cause for optimism in future games from the developer. Anything that gives me cause for optimism in 2017 has to be worth something. That said, the inevitable The Surge 2 is probably going to be kind of by the numbers and unnecessary but that's just how you make games in the 21st century.

7. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

To begin with, BotW would be much higher on this list if I had not only come into owning it and a Switch yesterday. It is by all counts extremely good, an open world game that's actually pleasant and charming and has meritorious mechanics outside of Todd Howard style "you can go fuck that mountain" nonsense. I mean don't get me wrong you can fuck plenty of mountains in this game. Link is fucking Spider-man in this game, the only surfaces he can't mysteriously latch on to are inside the puzzle shrines so you can't just cheese them. Weapon degradation is maybe a little excessive? I feel sort of like Bayonetta in the first cutscene where she keeps yelling "Guns!" when she runs out of ammo except I'm yelling "shitty wooden sticks!" when the one I'm using breaks into a million tiny pieces. I understand the reasoning behind it, I do. It establishes a certain rhythm to the game of exploring, fighting, stocking up on shitty wooden sticks, and repeating. When you find like, an actual sword or spear it feels like an occasion to celebrate, and the whole thing demands that you use a variety of different weapons and weapon-like objects. I'm not nearly far in enough to give an honest, comprehensive picture of the game. I just really like what I've played so far so I'm just compromising by putting BotW relatively low on the list.

6. Cuphead

It's Cuphead! Everybody knows Cuphead by now. It's gorgeous, the soundtrack is great if somewhat lacking in variety, King Dice is really cool but has extremely unfortunate racial undertones, the game is pretty hard (not that hard?) and Cala Maria is a babe. It's a singular game that is extremely worthwhile and hopefully paves the way for future games in a similar style of aping specific styles and eras of animation. I really want a game that goes hard on the 1950s Looney Tunes aesthetic where you just drop anvils on people forever. Cuphead isn't perfect, as a lot of the game's difficulty and length comes from bad checkpointing. It's a necessary evil, because if the game did not blatantly disrespect your time in a lot of the later fights, the game would be like, two hours long. I'm not a proponent of the "git gud" philosophy but I can't help but feel like I really want to say that to the various bad-at-games journos who got bent out of shape about Cuphead being hard. This is your damn job. You can suck it up for one game, especially when it's really very good and unique like Cuphead. Also my mom came in while I was playing it and thought I was watching a popeye cartoon so that was kind of cute I guess.

5. Civilization 6 (CHEATING AGAIN)

YEAH I KNOW THIS GAME CAME OUT LAST YEAR AND IM A HUGE IDIOT FUCKER but hear me out Civ6 is really fucking good because of the fact that Wonders take up physical space on the map and districting does the same thing. Like just this single mechanical change basically doubles the amount of thought and planning you need to put into playing the game even on low difficulties to optimize your output and production. Like it's a civilization game so there's not really anything too groundbreaking here but I fucking adore this game. Really looking forward to Rise and Fall, which will be early 2018. With the initial release being late 2016 I feel like this is like, an honorary 2017 game. Don't @ me.

4. Hollow Knight

Hollow Knight is another game I wrote about previously on the blog, but unlike The Surge I had basically nothing but good things to say about it. Hollow Knight has gorgeous hand drawn graphics and environments not entirely unlike Cuphead, but obviously goes for a much more reserved mood. Hollow Knight is a rock solid Metroidvania game with strong aesthetic and musical chops to back it up, as well as some Dark Souls-esque flourishes to give the game a bit of bite and a haunting narrative arc. A fantastic indie game and I can't wait to see what Team Cherry does next. I need to get around to doing the Halloween DLC, come to think of it. Did you know Zote actually has as many precepts as he says he does? I listened to them all. Some of them aren't too bad.

3. Nioh

Geralt the Witcher's moonlighting adventure as a samurai came out quite early in 2017, but remains one of the best games of the year due to its complex and rewarding combat system, beautiful Warring Kingdoms era Japanese architecture inspirations, fun mythological monster designs, and genuinely well done historical fiction backdrop. Coming into it, I fully expected "Dark Souls except the bosses are like Tengus and Nues and shit", but that description does the game a pretty big disservice. It's much more than that, both from a narrative standpoint, which is a fantastically tinged retelling of the Warring Kingdoms period, and from a gameplay one. The combat in Nioh is much more technical than in Dark Souls, with more pretensions of a combo based character action game than the deliberate, heavily customizable experience of the Souls games. Nioh is still quite hard and has the whole death-recovery mechanic, but it makes sense diegetically due to Guardian Spirit system and remains distinct. There are times when it tries to have the best of both worlds and just kind of ends up feeling like it doesn't do a good job at either, but for the most part, Nioh is tremendously fun, and at times infuriatingly difficult, especially in some of the post game optional battles that pit you against multiple bosses at once. Also, finding Kodamas is extremely rewarding because they are so damn cute. I love them. Find them at all costs.

2. Nier: Automata

Nier: Automata, Yoko Taro's latest brainchild, is, well, what it is. It's a hauntingly weird story about what it means to be human, and if that definition is really even adequate. It's a game with a lot to say, which is why I regard it so highly. The core gameplay is fun and serviceable, which is much more than I can say for its predecessor, the first Nier, which was memorable and affecting but played kind of like butts. 2B's android adventures are much more fluid and stylish, and you have a surprising amount of customization options available (though some arguably make the game a little too easy at points, like regenerating health) and there's enough variety in the little Machine Life form enemies (and the big ones, too) that fighting never felt like a chore to me. Of course, others have disagreed, but I think that the tedium really only sets in when you play as 9S, who has a much reduced arsenal of fighting moves in favor of his hacking skills. I liked the little shmup minigames that hacking entailed, so even 9S's story never felt too dull in the actual mechanical execution of it. People tend to have a misunderstanding of how the game works, that you need to complete it 4 times to get the whole experience, but that's not actually true. The 4 endings separate the game into acts more than anything. While 9S's story has a lot of overlap with 2B's story, endings C and D are just entirely new content where you play as A2, who has some tricks of her own distinct from 2B and 9S. It's not perfect, but it's not like you have to play the same game 4 times. It's a very story focused game, so much so that I would say experiencing the narrative is the main draw, but it has the decency to also be varied and fun to play. I love the parts where you get in the transforming flying robot and shoot the dudes. Especially the big dude. You know the one.

1. Final Fantasy XIV: Stormblood

The latest Final Fantasy XIV expansion, Stormblood, is super good. I wrote a bit about it earlier, and how it has improved upon Heavensward in almost all respects. Stormblood is a superlative MMO expac, with well designed and amazingly presented raids, dungeons, and trials. It's full of "holy shit that's dope" moments, like when you get into a blade struggle against the primal Susano's gigantic Ame-no-Murakumo in an active time event or storm the fortress city of Ala Mhigo. Ultimately, though, what really makes me evaluate Stormblood as my game of the year is how surprisingly thoughtful it is. FFXIV has, since the relaunch of 2.0, been a game that has not shied away from complexity in its narrative conflicts. The juxtaposition of the mythically strong Warrior of Light and the surprisingly mundane issues even she cannot seem to fix has always been the game's most interesting element to me, and as you spearhead revolutions against the Garlean Empire in two different countries, you learn a lot about how imperial colonialism has made things too complicated to be fixed simply driving out the oppressors. You do, eventually, of course, but the story is quick to remind you that this is only the beginning, and a lot of key issues remain unsolved, both in the newly liberated provinces and back at home. Also the Dark Knight questline from 60-70 is basically the best the game has to offer. It feels to me like that Dark Knight is the unofficial Job of Stormblood, despite the promo material and opening movie having you believe it to be about Monks. Monks, as usual, are boring. The themes explored in the Dark Knight questline, about regret, about shades of gray, about self-destruction, all align perfectly with some of the subtler narrative arcs of the main story. It's just really good and I love it. I still really want to write a piece about it on its own. I probably will soon. But for now, I name Stormblood my game of the year, for reminding us that we are still heroes. That we are still good people.

[northeasternwind]

part two!!

rey :c

THERE ARE WOMEN OTHER THAN LEIA

oh my god she likes chewie does he like her back (i assume no)

ARE WE EVER GOING TO FUCKING HIDE THI S DROID

yikes vader isn’t looking good these days. like i know he died but jeez.

THE DAAAARK SIDE

i like this woman

YES HE WANNA RUN!! HE FRIGHTEN!!! PROTEC

REYYYYY SHE WANNA STAY WITH FINN.....

im so sad han is so nice oh my god

BRING THAT DUDE TO THE FORMADINE RIFT

OH BABIE....... BABIE...... PROTEC.....

he is... so frigthen..... he is adult. i will stop calling him babie.

reyyyyy noooooo

fren is smol an careful

is she using her magic force powers

IT IS S W O R D

TAKE THE SWORD!!

sof....

scott manley once did a video on how many twinkies it would take to power a deathstar

maz: IT’S GONNA CATCH UP TO YOU MY SMOL FREND

i do not like this angry hux man. he yells THAT SALUTE WASN’T EVEN SUBTLE

:c.........................................................

oh.... fren.... they follow......

LOOK AT THOSE FUCKERS FLYING

OH MY FUCKING GOD

finn is like Yes. I Will Find Rey. he adult and i believe in him

ben u fuk. water u doin

HE CAN USE THE SWORD!! THE LIGHTSABER!! HE PROVEN FORCE

it’s him!!! it’s spinny-weapon stormtrooper dude!!!

POOOOEEEE!!

get ur mcfukin lightsaber YEEEEEE

that is poe!! he good

rey :c it ok someone coming back for u

JUTS RUN !!!

you have heard nothing u ugly loser. you only know she’s a girl. what else have you heard

its ur boy!! its benny!!!

POOR FUCKING FINN HE JUST KEEPS LOSING PEOPLE

smol fren juts like I GO BACK

ITS HER

IT’S LEIA

IT’S HER

THERE SHE IS

beeps loudly!!! beep!!!

IT’S NICE HAIR JAN

give me carrie back. she’s ours. 2016 can ghet its grubby paws off her

I WANT FINN TO FIND POE AND BE HAPP

Y7E4AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I’M SO HAPPY THEY’RE TOFETHER AGAIN I MCFUCKING 

I’M SO HAPPY THEY’RE TOGETHER AND FRAND

CHEWIE LMFAO

bahaha liea... please... .....i have no idea what han solo has ever done

FREN BEEP AT BIGGER FREN!!!

OH..................... HE MISS LUKE........................................ NO...............

I AM GLAD LEIA KNOWS HOW TO RECOGNIZE

i know he isn’t going to succeed at taking ben back lol he ded

like, well yes i want to kill you i want to defend myself u fuk

okay listen. listen. i am. i am trying. so hard. not to equate ugliness with evil.

i am trying.

..............BUT IT’S HARD SOMETIMES. PLEASE HELP ME.

LMFAO IS SHE READING HIS MIND

darth vader is already stronger than you fuck

why did snoke need to fucking project himself so big. that was unnecessary.

LMFAO OH MY GOD REY

THAT STORMTROOPER IS THE REAL MVP

it’s been zero days since our last kylo ren-related nonsense

you leave that star alone you fucks

take the ding dang sun

I TOO LIKE THIS GUY

finn is such a good guy. he deserves 

i can’t believe the story happened backwards and leia is dead and han solo is still alive. ...not that i want harrison ford to die but i mean. bring carrie back

LMFAO THIS IS EXACTLY LIKE ELITE DANGEROUS

JUST FUCKING SMASH INTO THE PLANET AT LIGHT SPEED WHO GIVES A FUCK. PUT SOME SHIELDS ON THAT SHIT, 

he sense the papa

i’m cry he just came back for rey

phasmaaaaaaaKLAJSDHALSKJGFHALJSHDGFKAJHSDGF can she get a redemption arc

i shake when i play hide and seek i could not handle rey’s situation right now

PUT HER IN THE TRASH!!!!

i hope finnTHERE SHE ISi hope bombing that thing does something

OH MY GOD I’MSO HAPPY SHE HUG SHE IS HAPPY

they came backf or yher

nyoooom!! nyoooom!!

why does han take that fucking jacket off in every single scene

oh han solo dies here i feel like. i remember he gets thrown

ben does a grumpy walk

Where Is Pa

:c he wanna his boi

u gonna dieeee wow that’s a dramatic shot

come see your mama :c

ben u fuk. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LEIA FELT IT THAT’S SO SAD????????????

THAT’S SO MUCH SADD

KAJSDHALKSJDHLKJAHS CHEWIE GOOD GUY

GOOD GUY CHEWIE

you can do it finn!! YOU CAN DO IT FINN!!!

its not gonna come you fuck.

YESSSSS

of course the ayy lmao dies first

useless combat rolls

someone mentioned rey keeps using thrusting attacks with a slashing weapon she is too quarterstaff

the force is with youuuuuu

CLIKCLICLICLICLICLICLIC TURN HIS LIGHTSABER OFF

she is STRONKER THAN U

grab finn and gO

you live to fight another day ben

geez, this is a good movie

CHEWIIIIEEEE

just blow up the planet. just blow the whole thing up. bring that senator a planet, senators love planets

oh leia D:

HTEY SNAGGLE THEY HUG...!!! THEY KNOW

lmfao rey is So Tall. statuesque jedi

smol fren like YEI!!!

LMFAO

THEY BEEPS.... THEY BEEPS....

BEEPS HAPPILY

WE CAN FIND THE BOI

rey :c

SMOOCH!!! WHAT A GOOD

fiinn is good and deserve

yeee she have The Stick

can she get a Lightstick

like instead of a saber

juts a stick

beebeeps

i can’t believe rey has her own ship now...........................

someone is definitely going to follow them in the next movie “:c

chewie growling faintly

those stairs look terrifying. where is the railing i’m afraid of heights

NOW WE WAIT FOR THE LAST JEDI YAAAAAY

[cupkayke]

Cupkayke Rewatches/Liveblogs Boueibu!

Season 1, Episode 6

I have no explanation for the stupidly long wait for this one other than the fact that I am a lazy motherfucker. BUT. CHALLENGE TIME- I’m in the midst of a mini vacation from work so when I’m not working on cosplay I WILL BE WRITING. Er, analyzing. Er, plotting. Er, SOMETHING.

Anyway! Onto the episode where Io pissed me the fuck off but still managed to be a loveable asshole in the end, anyway! Also LOTS OF UNDER THE SURFACE SHIT! YAYYYYY. 

I also apologize if I miss responding to some comments on these; with as sporadic as my time on tumblr is these days (90% is on mobile) I can’t fucking remember what replies I’ve reblogged or not OTL

Firstly I haven’t really thought much about it but what’s up with the title for this episode? “Love is something you wear on your back?” Is that a reference to the “so generous he’d give you the shirt off his back” phrase? If that’s meant to apply to Io in this episode for his “loyalty” I think they missed the mark there...

Yumoto eats a lot apparently- damn son stop growing!

Was that a sex joke?

THAT WAS DEFINITELY A SEX JOKE BOUEIBU NOT 2 MINUTES IN I AM SURPRISED AT YOU alsolololololololololololololforever

FANCY STUDENT COUNCIL IS FANCY omg they’re so fucking rich why do they even have this setup it’s so ridiculous

I sometimes get the feeling that this is a wealthy private school, similar to Ouran academy, with scholarships for low-income students (IE Yumoto). The parallels are there- but as established later in the episode, why the fuck would Yumoto be given a scholarship because it’s definitely not academics.

Maybe the Hakone family is actually wealthy but they just live modestly because their parents are gone and Gora wants to make the fortune last?

I MADE MYSELF SAD.

Finger bowls????

Apparently I’m an unultured swine because I had to look it up. You dip your fingers in the bowl to clean your hands between courses really???

Can’t we just... y’know... use hand santizier? This is like... 2015 for you guys right?

However it’s hilarious that Kinshiro decides that FINGER BOWLS of all things are important enough to have for the three of them at lunch so he wants to see if they can afford it.

ALSO I JUST REALIZED THE FORESHADOWING HERE WITH IO HOLY SHIT-

I SMELL RIVALRY

Kinshiro is a grumpy butt. Look at his face. Eat a snickers, Kinchan. You get micro-managey when you’re hungry.

So we’re halfway through the season and Wombat is seemingly trying to point our boys in a particular direction. HMMMMMM. 

Seriously I would love to know just how much of this is Wombat talking out his ass for the sake of the reality show and how much of it is shit he actually believes and he actually wants the boys to do a good job and ‘protect the earth’

I for one am on Wombat’s side because he’s fucking adorable but I do love the conspiracy/manipulation theory~

Ryuu and foreshadowing in 3...2...1.. WRITERS I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

Dat dead body smell

Even disgusted Akoya STILL manages to be gorgeous like whoah

Someone get this boy a modeling contract

PINKS THROWIN’ SHADE

I feel like this is the most lines that Akoya has had the entire show

I also realized during his little speech here that EVEN COVERING HIS NOSE his VOICE is still GORGEOUS.

Modeling contract AND record deal, PLZ 

So smug

Who knew pretty could be so evil~

I mostly just laughed at the cap of the DC all like ‘SHIT HE’S ONTO US’

So smug x2

Also this is where I started PINKSHIPPING

Like seriously I will go down with this ship even tho IoRyuu is OTP PINKSHIPPING MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

Just the rivalry and the pettiness sign me the fuck up for some angsty, angry making out in the SC bathroom

Whoops I just wrote a mini fanfic

Anyway this is why Cupkayke can’t decide on OTPs for this series because multishipping is fun

Wombat looks fluffier this episode

Too many Yumoto cuddles?

Pink kohai and dad-senapis!

Seriously I love the idea of these three hanging out together it’s adorable

And En is apparently really fucking smart

The entire conversation about Yumoto’s academic abilities is really interesting-

Apparently he has very good spatial awareness (child show me your ways I cannot directions for the life of me) but poor language skills

I don’t know if I am qualified to speculate about his cognitive state but perhaps it wouldn’t be so far-fetched to say that from that tidbit, Yumoto perhaps has a learning disability?

But then again, here it’s played for laughs/Yumoto’s just lazy and doesn’t see the value in school

Perhaps though he’s not motivated because he’s never really been able to get an instruction style that jives with him? So on certain subjects he’s over being discouraged and just accepts that typical academic instruction just isn’t for him?

This entire scene is fascinating from the lens of a future educator (albeit I haven’t taken any development or learning courses yet) but as someone who likes school Yumoto is the type of person (if he doesn’t have a learning disability, that is) who would confuse me IRL lolololol

“What? You don’t like the rigorous structure and inherent validation system of grading that even though it causes me undue anxiety and stress it gives me a sense of self-worth and purpose and without people giving me deadlines I cannot function?”

Well that got too deep oops I apologize for the too much in-depth taste of Cupkayke’s psyche

Someone more qualified than I am feel free to analyze this scene

Now back to your regularly scheduled magical boy blogging

Lolololol Gora wanting better for Yumoto - such a good big brother

“DON’T BE USELESS LIKE ME” - wait a second

IS THIS A LOWKEY REFERENCE TO GORA’S MAGICAL BOY PAST? Considering Maximum Gorar’s weapon is an axe and he has lots of chopping attacks.... hmmmmmmm did I just discover another layer?

Obviously Gora doesn’t know about the Battle Lovers just yet (or does he?) but still- interesting.

En trying to make them feel better haha such a sweetiepie

Atsushi get out of here with your logic

SWEATS NERVOUSLY

SCREW MONSTER FORESHADOWING

En and his ragging on Yumoto. I wonder when he goes from finding Yumoto annoying/exasperating to actually being that caring senpai? I mean, he could just be trying to be playful, but with his face here especially it comes across as he’s annoyed

Idk it’s kind of fascinating tho how he did not care for Yumoto at first

YUMOTO I HAVE NO WORDS

T________T

Revelation; Io is popular

Somehow I didn’t get that until this point in the series, but then again Io isn’t the type to care about his popularity unless it makes him money

So I guess he’s just admired from afar like this lololol

Io has a stalker- complete with creepy monologuing!

More screw foreshadowing!

Yellow phone for Io! They’re actually really heavy-handed with the color coding but most of the time it’s in ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moments. It’s like a fun game of I spy!

I can see where the headcanon that Akoya has a crush on Io started- the fact he goes out of his way to compliment Io is a bit telling.

Buuuut I still ship the Pinks over IoAko; but with the caveat of the Pinks both pining over Io and having their feelings unrequited! Oooooh the angst!

The cute evil is scheming

IO HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT SO EASILY

THEY WEREN’T EXPECTING YOU TO SAY YES EITHER LOOK AT THEIR FACES

...maybe you do get along with the SC Io you seem just about as evil and scheming as Akoya here-

WAIT WHAT AM I SAYING

WOMBAT IS SO CUTE IN HIS TITLE CARD AWW

I love how Ryuu is trying so hard look at him

Io what’s with that face! How can you betray them all so easily???

It makes no sense!

Creepy glowing Hedgehog

I still don’t know how Yumoto can get a ZERO in Japanese. Is it his grammar? Conjugation? Is Japanese like English is in the US where they go over literature and like Atsushi said he makes logic leaps that no one else does so he misinterprets the text? I AM CONFUSED. Wouldn’t he at least get some points? 

Look at this adorable fucker thanking his boyfriend friend in English!

En is really fucking smart, though I doubt he guesses ‘everything’

This could play into En’s self-consciousness on how he’s percieved (see his panic about looking ‘old’) and perhaps he also only wants to be percieved as ‘lazily intelligent’. 

It wouldn’t surprise me though if En did study a little bit, just to brush up on some things, or took school seriously but didn’t need to study because he’s really good at regurgitating info on tests

Either way, it seems like he doesn’t want people to know whether he actually cares about school or not so he just says he ‘guesses’ and gets 100s

Idk maybe I’m looking at the wrong angle but that’s not that far fetched I guess?

….Io… I am a very disappoint

Like this entire episode is out of character for him or at least my understanding of his character

Like, it’s not like he’s particularly very close to any of the DC except for Ryuu, but he doesn’t seem like the type to just up and ‘fuck you guys and everything we’ve been through’

Like it’s no secret he finds the Battle Lover thing bothersome but it’s likely he’s well aware of the fact that if he quits the DC he’s not going to stop having to wear the loveracelet and he’s still going to have to do all the embarrassing superhero things until he stops getting shocked by the thing

And like even if he’s really only in the DC because their ‘meetings’ give him enough downtime to invest in his business ventures I find it highly unlikely that the Student Council would pay him enough to make up for the loss he’d suffer because of his free time getting cut. And Io probably knew that outright.

Unless he is actually a teenage boy liable to acting without thinking! GASP.

Look, Io, you pissed off the Pink.

Really pissed him off! Ryuu sees through your bullshit.

Okay. Unpacking here- Io’s face in that cap says to me that he is well aware of how he’s being percieved. He’s well aware that he’s betraying the DC and the person who he would consider his best friend is calling him out on it. That look screams guilt.

However, what he says here- and here is where I am pissed the writers didn’t give us more context- he says ‘money is important/money doesn’t betray’. 

Which if you take him saying this to its most logical conclusion, he’s saying that he feels the DC will betray him at some point. Being involved with the DC, which doesn’t directly make him any money, will hurt him in the long run to the point where he would feel betrayed.

He’s said this before; money doesn’t betray. I can’t remember which episode (which is sad because I just did a write up on it) but I know the context of the conversation was when they were talking about the concept of ‘Love’ with Wombat. Everything Io does is for money. Relationships seem to do jack shit for him. 

But it appears here that this move is premptive. You have to do some inferring but it’s not so far fetched to say that Io has found himself caring for the DC (and potentially the Battle Lover thing) a lot more than he originally thought he would. And perhaps, based on previous experiences (what, we don’t know) he is afraid that they will betray him. Whether in terms of finances, emotions, or both, isn’t clear.

I feel like in the snow episode of s2 there’s a throwaway line about Io making Igloos that might have had some more under the surface about his past- for some reason I inferred he was often lonely as a child. I can’t remember why, though.

But I guess what I’m trying to say here is that this scene would be a whole lot more poignant if we had the entire narrative. Io is making this move, on the surface, because of money. But that’s foolish, especially for someone as smart as him, for the reasons I mentioned above. Even as rich as the SC are collectively, they probably wouldn’t be able to pay Io enough for his treasurer services to make it more lucrative than investing in his downtime with the DC. 

So it seems like he is trading his relationship with the DC- a personal relationship with feelings involved- for a relationship with the SC, one that is primarily business-focused. From their outer appearances, Io definitely knows that ‘rich kids’ like himself don’t tend to focus on friendship, so he’d be relatively safe to keep things strictly business.

Which means Io finds the idea of a business-only relationship more appealing/safer than a relationship based on friendship.

And supposedly, by extension, even if he did have to keep being a Battle Lover, he could keep that relationship strictly business too, by simply showing up and helping fight monsters without actually spending any time with the DC.

But without the context, this is speculation. Is there anything in the novels/comics/games that add to this???

Ryuu is rightfully pissed off! But the look Io gives here says again ‘I know what I am doing is hurtful, but I made my decision in my/everyone’s best interests’. Supposedly.

GAHH I NEED MORE CONTEXT.

Supporting my theory that Io is simply being a stupid teenager! Which I suppose could also play into the slightly deeper motivations I speculated about. Buuuuut still... a bit of a cop out.

Monster that makes its own sound effects! Or one that’s attempting to be a Pokemon!

I love when the boys other than Yumoto get into the fight! Yay!

I guess they have time for full transformations since they’re missing one! (or they need to pad the episode runtime, MAGICAL BOY STYLE)

Such an empty yellow spot

Ryuu… you ran right into it... it’s like you weren’t even trying.

Well that sounds suggestive

THIS MONSTER IS RIDICULOUS I LOVE IT

EVEN THE OTHERS REALIZE IT

Poor Ryuu- I’d cry if I was tickled that much, too. I probably would have also pissed myself.

Io jfc you can’t just stop being ticklish because an enemy decides to tickle you!

Nonetheless, boyfriend is pissed

Oh wait- Io transformation by himself. More screentime padding!

In other words- “GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAN”

DAYUM IO- punch the monster through a fucking WALL. Somebody’s been working out.

Also idk why the color is so off in this action scene- it’s so daaaaark

“I’m so humilated and my pants are probably ruined”

“It’s about time you got your head out of your ass and saved my ass or I was gonna kick your ass!”

Yayyyyyy they made up!

Why is the monster adorable?

Sassing Yumoto, a DC pastime

PFFFT YUMOTO MY SMOL PRECIOUS CHILD NEVER CHANGE

Seriously why is a screw monster so cute

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but it so looks like the CA’s pants are actually leeggings

Maybe that’s why Kinshiro wears a cape he’s self conscious about showing off his ass ffffft

DUN DUN DUN SPOTTED

Pssssssssssh you all are cosplayers at heart

Oh… is this why Yumoto’s bad at Japanese???

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN (x2)

I love this conversation- even without the underlying context it basically supports my theorizing (except for the implication that the SC would have potentially been more profitable)

Ryuu is right; he knows Io should have been able to calculate which was financially a better deal in three seconds. He probably knows that Io was struggling with something emotionally.

Io’s ‘I can’t tell you that’ is cheeky but I can take it 2 ways actually. Potentially, the SC was more profitable money wise, but the DC is more profitable for Io emotionally. So it could mean both of those things. Or like I thought earlier, the DC could be both emotionally and financially profitable and Io is just being a little shit because he second-guessed everything but doesn’t want to admit why.

Buhhhhh these boys.

Pshhhh En YOU DID NOTHING AND YOU’RE TIRED

OHHHH YOU GUYS AGAIN - interesting implications fufufufufufufufufu

You look like a cat Kinosaki

And lastly.. Dat face

Kinshiro has the evil villain glare/’stare into the camera like you’re on the office’ look down PAT

Well then! I don’t know if my ramblings about Io’s motivations made much sense but that’s like, the ONLY thing I can think of that justifies his willingness to leave other than he was just being a little shit and following the yen for no reason. Again, if there’s any other canonical evidence from other media that explains this episode please point me in that direction because I am confused! This explanation makes sense but... I don’t understand how the writers wanted the audience to take this episode. Reminds me of Tokyo Mew Mew where Zakuro repeatedly threatened to leave/actually almost did leave the Mew Mews, sometimes because of her own insecurities and sometimes because Mint was being a little shit and Zakuro wanted to kick her ass into gear. I don’t get that Io was playing with the DC to make them realize anything- this was he was working through something that we just weren’t privy to. 

[caravelstan]

mistaken

[y/n]: hi hi hi!! this is my first little jimin thing and i thought this was cute :p if u have any requests send them my way n i hope u guys like this!!!

pairing: park jimin x reader

genre: fluff

word count: 669

summary: in which someone mistakes you and jimin as the parents of your younger sister.

“you three are just the cutest little family!”

the older lady gushing at you caused your eyes to widen and a dark blush to form on your cheeks. had she just really said that? in a public place? out in the open for people to hear? you’re hoping she’s wrong but she’s looking at the three of you with the fondest smile and something inside your chest stirs, almost saddened by the fact that that’s not true at all, and you’re opening your mouth to finally say something, head shaking from side to side.

“actually–”

“thank you, ma’am! we get that a lot.” jimin’s voice overbears yours and you audibly gasp at his words. did this little fucker just do that?

“she looks just like you.” the woman said as she glanced at you before smiling at the little girl – your younger sister – in jimin’s arms who smiled back brightly.

“i always say that but y/n here never believes me.” jimin gives you a pout and you can only scowl halfheartedly in response before dipping your head low to hide your blush, the older lady giggling at the sight.

“i’m sorry, i’m probably interrupting family time! just couldn’t help but think how cute you two were. young love is beautiful if it’s done right and hopefully this little one helps it stay strong.” and with that, she gives a small wave before ducking out of the ice cream shop, leaving you dumbfounded and jimin and your little sister giggling loudly.

“what was that?” you snap towards jimin and he only shrugs, giving you an innocent look as the three of your make your way over to a tiny little table in the corner, the ice cream you had been holding almost forgotten. 

“i don’t know what you mean, mommy.” 

“park jimin, i swear i’ll kick your–”

“hey! no swearing in front of the baby, it’s not good for her.” he reaches a hand over to your sister, covering her ears before they both give you their best puppy dog eyes and you almost fall for it. you huff.

“you’re not off the hook, park.” you give him a pointed look before staring at your sister, “and you! why did you play along?”

“because jimin is funny and i wanted to be funny too.” the four year old says calmly and shrugs, acting as if what she did was normal. you can’t help but roll your eyes.

“you’re lucky you’re my sister and i love you.”

“what about me?” you shoot jimin a glare as you push his cup towards him, a scowl on your features.

“you can rot for all i care.” 

“y/n!” your little sister gasps but you don’t miss the tiny giggle that escapes her before she stuffs her face with ice cream. she’ll get a brain freeze soon, you thought.

“that’s not a very nice thing to say to your baby daddy.” jimin states matter-of-factly, your sister nodding right along with his words. you lean back in your chair, arms crossed over your chest as you pouted like a child.

“you both are brats! big ole mean brats.” you whine. you don’t miss the way jimin’s foot knocks into yours and you give him another glare from across the table, a smile tugging at his lips.

“oh, come on! you love us.”

your sister nodded. “don’t be grumpy, y/n. mommy says she doesn’t like it when you’re grumpy.” 

“see, listen to your child.” jimin teases, his feet knocking into yours again with a grin. 

“you both are down right evil.” you mutter, though your words don’t match the look on your face: a smile trying to tug at your lips and your cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. 

with the way jimin is staring at you and your sister giggling right along, your heart can’t help but flutter because you love the two of them with everything in you. no matter how annoying they can be together, you couldn’t live without them.

[salty-dracon]

ace hang plays noctis umbra part 3

SINS OF ANGELS | Noctis Umbra Part 3 | Ace Hang Plays Otome

(Yes, they do have semi-serious titles when shit hits the fan)

Last time on Ace Hang Plays Otome: 

Lily: Wow, he’s UGLY. How the FUCK is this guy a SUCCUBUS he’s UGLY

Brid: Well, technically he’d be an incubus. Because he’s a guy. 

Lily: That doesn’t change the fact that he’s UGLY

Brid: Maybe he radiates some kind of.... hot energy-

Lily: THE. ONLY ENERGY. THAT FUCKER RADIATES. IS CATCALLING YOU FROM HIS 2002 HONDA CIVIC WHILE WEARING A TWO YEAR OLD SWEAT-COVERED WIFE BEATER ENERGY. 

Brid: You don’t-

Lily: HE LOOKS LIKE A GIJINKA FOR THE WORD DOMESTIC ABUSE

---------

Lily: Hey, everyone! Ace Hang here! I’m Lily!

Brid: I’m Brid! 

(Val and Arthur pop in from the sides) 

Val: I’m Val!

Arthur: And I’m Arthur! 

All: And we’re playing Noctis Umbra Chapter Two! 

Brid: Yes, that’s right! The whole gang’s here and together for a nice round of otome! 

Val: It’s summer vacation, and our Minecraft 1.14 series will be up as soon as 1.14.2 is out, just so all of the bugs are ironed out. We’re planning to play multiplayer and do experiments to keep all of your spirits up. 

Lily: I’m super excited. 

Arthur: Yeah, same. We’ve got tons of plans! 

Brid: But for now, Noctis Umbra Chapter 2 is out, and when we last left off, we learned that Valerius was lying to us again. 

Lily: Also our dad is ugly and evil. 

Arthur: Rana is a queen. 

Val: Thor was there...?

Brid: .... Yeah, basically. Let’s get back to the action! 

--------------------

Lily: A Kapre. A stalker.... Do you guys know anything about that? 

Val: Capre.... Caper... 

Brid: Oh, Capra demon. Remember that 4chan post? 

Val: Oh yeah! 

Arthur: ...? 

Lily: Super sexy demon or something. In the post he had a goat skull head. Wonder what this boi’s gonna look like. 

Arthur: He’ll either be adorable or ugly.  

(Efren appears) 

Lily: ffffFFWAHAHAHA WHAT IS THAT

Brid: That is not what I was expecting. 

Arthur: I was expecting like, James Bond, not a guy in a mohawk wearing a Minecraft shirt! 

Val: Wow. Holy shit. Oh my god. He looks like a cis guy decided to dress like a  fucking drag queen for Halloween without knowing what a drag queen was. He looks like someone who unironically enjoys Kingdom Hearts and somehow mixed in a shitty hacker aesthetic. He looks like a 30 year old virgin who also runs a gaming channel that relies on clickbait for income. He looks like a guy cosplaying as his own My Hero Academia OC. He looks like-

Brid: Okay, that’s enough. 

Lily: He looks like that one Invader Zim character watches anime all day in his basement-

Brid: Stop it. Anyway, looks like he’s with the enemy... and wants to recruit us... and give us cookies. 

Lily: Cookies. Om nom nom. 

-----------

Lily: WAHAHA they’re good cookies. 

Brid: I love the little package of cookies on her lap. 

Val: Seriously, I’d kill a guy who gave me too many cookies, though. At 3am. Every day. 

Lily: “You’re just grumpy because you’re hungry. You’re hangry.”

Arthur: “I am not hangry!”

Lily: “You sound hangry!”

Val: And Tae steals the cookies. And they’re good. 

------------

Val: You know, I’m glad the main characters are warming up to Tora. Not treating her like a kid. 

Brid: She’s learning high school chemistry, so I don’t think it’s out of the question that she’s at least fifteen. 

Arthur: Yeah. And MyDude is treating her very nicely. 

Val: Yeah. I’m glad. Like seriously, edgy war stories just... hate kids. Like, fuck the kids. Adults are the only ones that survive here. 

Lily: Yeah, it’s nice change of pace. EY, RANA! Look, Arthur. That’s my favorite character. 

Arthur: I see.

Val: Honestly, the whole Noctis Umbra crew is great. Except for Valerius. Fuck that guy. 

Arthur: I think he might have a reason for keeping those secrets of his, though. 

Val: This is coming from the same guy who actually trusts the rich kid in the other one they were playing. Fuck, I forget his name. 

------------

Val: “Ae-ri needs your help grocery shopping.”

Lily: I’m gonna be super surprised if it’s not like the South Asian market my parents visit for cheap spices. 

Brid: Seriously, what else do you expect from this game? 

.........

Brid: Yes, that’s the last place I expected to find a bunch of underworld denizens that are part demon or something. Going shopping at a grocery store. And not a South Asian market.

Lily: What, did you think they subsided on human energy alone? 

Val: I mean, Tae lives offa sweets. First he ate his sister’s cheesecake, then he ate those cookies, then he ate that pudding... he’s just got a big sweet tooth.

Lily: Oh, big mood, Tae. I like him. He and Keelan are so funny. Everyone’s just laying into him. 

Arthur: “That’s a lot of hot sauce...” 

Brid: I see we’ve got our own weird tastes... 

Val: Ha. Melons. Innuendos. 

Lily: Or Avatar reference. 

Arthur: ... 

Brid: What’s up?  

Arthur: Imagine- meanwhile in the aisle next door, Riley hits her teacher with a shopping cart!

Lily: That would be an amazing easter egg. Keelan’s looking for his paint, barely dodges a chaotic dumbass bisexual disaster, she immediately hits someone else who happens to be her teacher. 

Val: Said teacher was also hacking the grocery store’s WiFi with his phone, which proceeds to fall into the lobster tank. 

Lily: Not saying Riley wouldn’t do that. 

(Small animation with bad doodles)

Arthur: I imagine Keelan’s like... “Alright... broad paintbrush, purple acrylic paint... ” and he just hears screaming, and there’s Riley just narrowly missing him and slamming right into her teacher. 

Brid: You say that like she intentionally hit him. 

---------------

Val: OH GOD IT’S THE UGLY GUY!

Lily: Damn. That’s the first thing you fixate on?

Arthur: Oh boy. Something’s going down... 

Lily: Is Valerius here? Is that why she’s- Oh, hey Luca. 

Val: Oh my god, it’s Tall Evil Valerius. 

Brid: He’s so tall we can’t even see the top of his head. 

Lily: That’s funny, because I always imagined Valerius to be like, 5′4... 

Val: His name is “Aleron”. HOLY FUCK HE JUST KILLED LUCA

Arthur: OH MY GOD

Lily: WELL THAT’S NOT GOOD AT ALL IS IT

Brid: FUCKING DEAD. PRESS F. 

Lily: REMINDER TO HIT THAT F BUTTON IF YOU’RE ANGRY THAT LUCA JUST DIED

Brid: AND SHE JUST OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRUS HIM

--------------

Lily: That feeling when you teleport the enemy leader right into your base. 

Val: Fucking seriously. The whole crew must be having aneurysms. 

Arthur: Ha. “I leave you alone for two seconds and you start a world war.”

Lily: Welcome back to another episode of “Man with half the facts in heated debate with man with zero facts”. 

(Meme appears on screen with the two men’s faces replaced with Leo and Valerius)

Brid: More like “Two men seriously think they know what’s right for the world as a whole based on flawed information”. 

Val: “Where’s her room?!” “She doesn’t have one.” “Where does she sleep?!” “The couch.” 

Brid: Get ready for Angry Father Rage. 

Val: “YOU LET MY DAUGHTER SLEEP ON A COUCH?!”.... DAMMIT why did the scene have to end there. 

Lily: So you wouldn’t have to yell at yourself?

------------------

Val: “Your mother loved heights too-” Sheesh, did she love jumping off them?!

Lily: Fucking hell. Wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what he meant, though. 

Brid: Yeah, this guy’s kind of an asshole, to be honest. 

Arthur: I guess with the whole unification thing, they need her. 

Lily: I love how she’s mad Aleron killed Luca because she wanted to punch him in the face. 

----------------

Val: Oh boy, things are heating up. So because of the prophecy, the demon kids are all uniting, and the angels wanna beat em back. And they took over a human organization to do it. 

Lily: Angels. It’s always angels. 

Brid: Do any of you like Valerius any more now? 

Val: NO. He’s kind of a dickhead. Still. 

Arthur: At least he’s telling us more. 

Brid: Yeah, very true. 

Val: Why does Valerius look at us and see everything right with Nocturnals? We’re an angry district attorney who sucks the life out of people with the power of Satan and anime. 

Lily: Angels. It’s always angels. 

Arthur: You said that. 

Brid: I did say I’d romance Valerius, so-

Val: WAIT I NEVER SAID I’D DO A KISS SCENE-

----------------

Lily: And with that, looks like we’ve reached the end of Chapter 3! What do you guys think? This is your first time playing with us, right?

Val: ... Why do I have to be rolled up in the politics of white men? 

Lily: Pretty sure Leo’s Latino. 

Val: Still. 

Brid: Politics, politics. I still do love the group dynamic between the Noctis Umbra crew, though. Not Valerius, just MyDude, Ae-ri... 

Arthur: Tae, Keelan, and Rana. Yeah. And whoever else I’m forgetting. They’re very cute together, and it kinda sucks that they’re dealing with the whole underground war thing, otherwise I feel like we’d get a lot of cute scenes with them. 

Lily: Very true. Any theories? 

Arthur: Remember when Valerius called MyDude Umbra? I think it’s because she’s the kid of both an angel and a demon. 

Brid: Oooooo. What do you have to back it up? 

Arthur: We don’t see much about her mother. Apparently she left her in an orphanage named after a saint. Also, Leo mentioned that the mom loved heights. Besides the jumping implication, it might mean that she’s an angel. Maybe one that couldn’t fly.

Lily: I think umbra does mean shadow, which evokes themes of both light and darkness, so it’s very possible. 

Brid: Interesting. Well, we’ve been recording for an hour, so I think that’s all the time we have for today. 

Lily: Sweet! 

Brid: Can’t wait to see where this story takes us next! And we’re planning our next playthrough to probably be either the next part of Oathbreaker, or Hatoful Boyfriend. 

Val: Make sure to like and subscribe for more content, and stay classy!