#He only thinks about job
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The best part of Sherlock Gnomes (2018) is that feature an inseparable duo going through problems in their relationship, Gnomeo and Juliet, with another inseparable duo going through problems in their relationship, Sherlock and Watson. Gnomeo and Juliet, despite the problems they face regarding their partner's unexpected behaviors that are hurting, they really love each other. And Sherlock and Watson… Well, you get it, the counterpoint is very obvious, so much so that it almost can't be called subtext.
#Too bad Sherlock is an arrogant bastard in more than half of this movie#He only thinks about job#but at least in the end it's obvious that Watson is part of his job 😜#sherlock holmes#sherlock gnomes#sherlock holmes/john watson#holmes/watson#johnlock
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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how crazy would it be if i became a biology lab instructor. would that be crazy or what
#what am i doing? idk man#i saw a listing and it excites me. like teaching entry bio lab at a college. could you imagine#the college freshmen would be on their phones like idk what this guy is going on about but he seems pretty fired up about this#not much i can do about that but i for one would be having a good time#i finished my emt class and i only have to take one more test until im licensed#and then i can work as one or just volunteer and do plants as my job. which like. plants as my job is ideal i think#i think that is what i have learned i am so so so sad without plants#but an emt job could get me out of here right now at this very moment which is appealing#because otherwise my ass is going to put it off
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im sorry but i choose to believe that tim drake is the most insufferable "my man, my man, my man" girl about bear. he does not shut up about him. steph is cooking smth in the kitchen? oh my man can do that. bear cooks really well. dick triaging some poor victim on an emergency site? oh my man is really good at that. mhmm, bear is on his way to becoming a paramedic. damian building something? oh my man is really good with power tools. have you ever seen him build ikea? it takes him less than an hour. for our anniversary, he built me a coffee table. mhmm isn't he amazing? yeah my man did that. yeah my man, mhmm that's my ma-
#and on and on and on#like it never fucking stops#jason gets a tattoo? tim manifests in the tattoo parlor to talk about his man's tattoos#'yeah they're sooo gorgeous! he has a grasshopper over his heart cause that's what he calls me! yeah that's like his little nickname for me#'and there's two cardinals in flight on his forearms! isn't that sooo cute!!! he says he's keeping me with him!!!'#and like everyone thought is was cute at first bc like first gay relationship!!! let tim gush about his boyfriend!!!#but then it like quickly and i mean quickly became annoying#like dick puts on his police uniform and tim immediately is like 'have you seen my man in his paramedic uniform? dont his biceps#look so good in it? and he's providing service for those in need without being a pig! isn't my man so great!'#and dick just has to sit there with his eye twitching bc the last time he tried to defend his police job the whole family laughed so hard#they almost cried.#also i hope you know that all of tim's lines are said in a valley girl accent. with the tone of a woman who is so fucking annoying about#her man. like he's the kinda guy at sunday brunch 2 mimosas deep trying to one up bart on like who has the better bf#spoiler alert bart wins only for the sole fact that he's not annoying about kon the way tim is about bear#meanwhile the rest of the group is creating enough of a ruckus that they're like 2 seconds away from getting kicked out of dennys#and while i would like to say that bear knows about this i just think that he has such hearteyes for tim that it completely flies over his#head. like he sees tim and he turns into a fucking idiot. he's putting in the saline line wrong he's doing chest compressions on a guy#who is perfectly fine. he's letting the steak burn on the stove#so theyre like both fucking useless together. and i think that's love.#bernard dowd#tim drake#timbern#timber
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If you’re gonna care about prison abolition and justice you are necessarily going to have to care about the people who DID do those crimes and just want to reintegrate and live a normal life without hurting anyone. You're gonna have to be cool with the fact that the guy scanning your groceries might’ve raped someone. You're gonna have to relax about the possibility that your bank teller used to be a career criminal. The person sitting next to you on the bus might’ve committed three different murders, and as long as he's not about to commit a fourth right now, that's not your fuckin' problem. People don't disappear from society after they commit crimes, and most of them really just want to live a normal, stable life instead of going back to that. And the best way to make sure they don't relapse is to ensure they're able to live that peaceful life instead of freaking out because the guy next door used to run a dogfighting ring. You don’t have to be friends with them, you don't even have to like them, but you're gonna need to be okay with them existing in society. Sorry.
#spitblaze says things#SPITBLAZE SMASH#ive been playing y8 and lemme tell you. NOBODY else with this kind of reach and budget is tackling this topic#'aaaah that guy used to be a yakuza and hes helping OTHER yakuza find gray area jobs aaaaaaaah'#as opposed to what exactly. unless you want every single person whos ever committed a crime to die they cant just disappear#and anyone who has EVER been a yakuza has a mandatory 5 year period where they have ZERO social safety net. no apartment. no phone plan.#nothing. nada. zip. zilch#this person couldve been expelled because they gave away every last dollar the clan had to charity.#you still gotta go five years at rock bottom and good fucking luck if you survive that#society has undesirables and just shoving them to the side where you dont have to think about them#only makes it more likely they'll relapse#so either be normal about thr fact that someone might have been a felon or a bad person at some point#or shut the fuck up lmao
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#kirby#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#still yakuza lmao#I don't remember which day I started it but it was definitely no earlier than the 30th#I think I didn't start until I actually got holiday packages into the mail on the 3rd.#my partner started playing it like the day after it got released for switch#which I think was late october?#but he has like. a job. so he's just been playing an hour here a couple hours there yknow#we are both very much getting our money's worth though lol#I try to stop playing by midnight but I didn't manage that today -n-#I really wanted to find the last 2000 yen bill without looking it up but I was Struggling#(I did find it tho)#I've still got a decent amount of stuff left to do#even discounting the completion list stuff that doesn't interest me like the gambling#which I might at least try to do anyway#but we're both in chapter 9 of the main story now (although he's already a ways in)#(and I technically haven't done the last conversation of chapter 8 but I did all the actual Doin Stuff)#it sounds like there's probably 10 chapters from a thing I saw having to look up where majima was hiding the first time?#that's the only thing I've looked up so far though.#anyway I'm having fun#this is why I refused to start playing yakuza until I finished my holiday crafts.#oh wait I also looked up a clarifying explanation on one of the dragon moves you have to learn#I wanna do as much of it as I can without external guides#update from the next day I was incorrect about there being 10 chapters yay :)#more game for meeeee
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Qitian dasheng and other outfit concept sketches
#I always find it funny when in every iteration wukong is the only one to ever get outfit changes#he ran the fashion department pockets THROUGH#every season china’s Madonna gets a new dress cuz he’s the people’s prettiest little princess#jelly didn’t do a good enough job talking me out of that uglyass qtds design so you guys get to see it#I was going for a more empress dowager look to be unique but it doesn’t really suit him I think lol ^^#back to the drawing board#but I really do like that handsome monkey king sketch#the one with the small monkey in his arms#I like to think he’s actually very motherly to his children subjects <:3#that’s mother#I’m also trying my hand at giving him a more Indian outfit since that’s where they’re going -w-#not really satisfied with any of em lol#the crop top sketch is maybe him directly after getting out of the mountain and being petulant about the band#the tassels STAY ON#digital art#my art#jttw sun wukong#journey to the west#sun wukong#jttw fanart#monkey king#anyways lemme know what y’all think#I actually wanna hear other opinions on this :P#also if you couldn’t tell I’m obsessed with cloud collars at the moment#☁️ 🌺 🦢 ✨
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Hi, Howdy! Hey! I really love your novel!! I got a little confused by the 4 day, may maybe you help me please? who is it? why we got the bad end staying the night in Ren’s apartment and he disappear of the home screen? I can’t understand “unset memory” game, sorry if I wrote smth wrong or smth sounds rude, I swear that I didn’t mean it if happened, I’m really a fan of the novel, I’ve been playing the game since day 1 or 2 I guess, probably day 1, english isn’t my first language, but I tried lol
⌞♥⌝ I hope you don't mind me answering these as bullet points!! ^^
"It" will be revealed later in the game! So I won't reveal too much right now.
You can only get the Dead End in Day 4 by staying at Ren's apartment — the rest of your choices before that don't matter. I'd also pay closer attention to the black smoke and Ren's reaction towards it!
Ren disappears from the home screen because he promised to help the player out (and stop them from getting the Dead End again). Try replaying the game again from the beginning for a surprise!
"Unsent Memories" was another visual novel (initially being written by @10chimes / @unsentmemory, though the project has since been dropped and handed back to me /pos) and is set in the same universe as 14 Days With You. Its storyline and characters are completely separate from 14DWY, so you don't have to worry about them while playing 14DWY.
#I don't think a lot of people know this but River was originally my OC lmao#Obviously BEFORE Jesse picked him up and turned him into an entirely different character /pos#We originally planned for Riv and Ren to have a Billy and Stu dynamic; except River would pretend to be a himbo—#— The same way Ren would pretend to be some Normal Empathetic Guy™️ kjgskg#River was also going to be a lovesick serial killer who incapacitated Bunny so that they'd stay with & depend on him forever#Also because Jesse and I wanted to have a ''same production factory; different yandere'' kind of vibe with Riv and Ren (and their dynamic)#Like... Ren puts Angel above himself and craves THEIR satisfaction whereas River cares about himself and prioritises HIS own satisfaction#Ren would hit his best friend (River) with a car if it meant keeping Angel happy & by his side forever#River would hit Bunny with a car if it meant keeping them by his side forever (thus making him happy)#But!! After everything that's happened in the yandere community; Jesse (understandably) wanted to get away from that kind of environment#So he's since dropped Unsent Memories and hasn't really got any plans to work on it again or return to da yan vn circle#I'm also continuing to write 14DWY the way it was originally planned (with 2017!River only getting a brief cameo to serve up some lore </3)#—But I'm lowkey holding out just in case Jesse ever considers returning hehe :3 I like their version of River and I wanna do him justice#Until then though?? I'll yearnfully clutch my locket and wait for my lover to return from war.... (she has a literal 9-5 job now) /hj /p#GKJSDG I scrolled up and??? NOT ME RANTING IN THE TAGS AGAIN?????????? WHY DO I UNINTENTIONALLY YAP SO MUCH#I will 🤫🤐 now#💌 — answered.#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#to be tagged later#weird0nerd
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I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#His aptitude with subterfuge sleight of hand stealth and speed really push how being a ninja really comes naturally to him.#it’s arguable that his desperation for the spotlight and validation is an act of subterfuge against himself#note that when he’s offered a job as a mascot he’s fine being unknown#when he and splinter win the battle nexus Leo immediately says ‘they love YOU pops’#idk I think so much about how good a ninja Leo is#and how much his persona is more an actor#Leo as a tot is shown a natural skill at katana too so hear me out-#every Leo is a natural ninja but every Leo’s route in life is directly tied to their splinter so#since rise splinter is an actor Leo too aims for it#and he brings it into his whole life - masking always because a Leo makes what they do who they are#I think that Leo naturally falls more in line with that of a typical ninja#his eccentric performer self is his subterfuge skill just set to an 11 at all times#not that that’s NOT him - like I said it’s still undoubtedly a part of Leo#but? idk I think about little moments like Leo being the only one to choose stealth in bug busters#or Leo being the only one to almost get Gus’s dog tags in The Ninja Art of Hide and Seek (he was so close but luck was against him alas)#like- he’s clearly in his element there and he falls into those skills so easily#it’s like how everyone has skills in so many things but some exceed more in some than others do#like Raph? Raph’s the biggest Hero of the bunch of them let’s be perfectly real here. Raph is THE Hero#All the boys are smart in their own rights but Donnie is THE Genius.#and they all have mystic powers but Mikey is THE Mystic Warrior with immense untapped potential#likewise Leo I feel is THE Ninja#but yeah I love how much Leo goes for the spotlight anyway for better or for worse#he IS a performer again make no mistake! but again the way he does it still lines up with his natural ninja aptitude and I love it#Leo loving magic tricks and magicians so much works doubly well here because like#you’d think he’s focused solely on the performance flair - no it’s ALSO and ESPECIALLY the DECEPTION
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Its really interesting that Jimmy’s chair is the one tilted away from the screen in this shot:
It’s indicative of how his and Jimmy’s dynamic was. He’s not staring ahead at the screen, he’s not paying attention to what they are doing. Curly is the only one looking forward. Jimmy quite literally couldn’t see the responsibility Curly had or was doing. Jimmy likely slacked off and avoided most of his duties. I mean the one time we know he pilots the Tulpar he steers it wrong and loses the team 4000 credits. Even in the positions they held objectively, Curly was always taking responsibility for Jimmy. Not to mention the “We can fix this” and only one chair at attention. Jimmy never had intentions to fix anything, throughout the game, throughout his entire relationship with Curly. Curly always fixed it? Why would it be any different here?
If he even took the slightest bit of responsibility, he would’ve stayed in the cockpit to see his plan through. In the end Curly did what Jimmy always expected him to do for him and took responsibility. Did what he always did and took responsibility at the wrong time…
#cross posted on twitter#I like think it’s insane how subtle some shots are but yeah#like he doesn’t even take the captains seat to try and crash the ship#the one time he took quote responsibility unquote he still did it from the inattentive side#and then ran from what he did and literally shielded himself from the consequences like closed the door and all like it’d be done quick#even if Curly didn’t run in we know it would’ve failed and everyone would’ve known#also I saw someone say that Jimmy assaulted Anya because he was trying to put a black mark on Curly’s record as captain#and I just can’t believe that because he didn’t want to be found out about it#like think about he can’t take responsibility and tries to avoid punishment you really think his ego would allow him to risk#his image and reputation just to get to Curly? he wants to drag curly down by using him as a ring on the ladder but why would he weaken it#first? he only has the job because of him and he’d know that like Jimmy is brash and done but his hateful acts are calculated in a way to#get to others and not back to him#I mean he crashes the ship cause this would go on his permanent record and it’s likely that Jimmy had never got caught for an offense this#socially or legally damning and that’s another reason he panicked so bad he’s clearly escalorty#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing
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somewhere up above the stars the wreckage of a Universe floats past
an AU ancient lonely god Steven I have. his moniker is Astra and I am obsessed with him right now.
#his Most Basic Deal is that he is a steven who actually took the diamonds up on their offer of the throne in the movie#believing it to be the best way for him to enact lasting change and help fellow gems#and he Does! but the job pulls him away from humanity over time- and not only that but he Also suffers a horrible loss#when his connie dies in a freak incident and he's not around on Earth at the time to be able to resurrect her#he never works through the stuff he does in SUF and he also just Stops Aging at a certain point... entirely unshackled from his humanity#billions of years of guardianship over his dimension later he is still a Soft and Kind and Benevolent soul#just... intensely lonely. yearning for connection but terrified of actually being vulnerable again#desperate to find a means to feel Human again but too terrified of the idea of meeting his end without someone to share it With#if i'm quiet on tumblr lately this is bc This Guy is all i can think about rn so sorry#my sad mans....#su#su future#steven universe#su fanart#my art stuff#astra
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Inmate Togame? Inmate Togame
So inmate Togame Jo who's well mannered to a point. He doesn't do much harm, and is always polite to you as a nurse to the prisoners. Sure he has a bad habit of calling you pet names, but that's the least offensive thing you've been called while working.
When he does get into fights, he waits patiently as you tend to the other people first, saying he's good with being the last one out. He likes to watch you work, thinking even if it's one sided that it's time well spent with you, and it's hard to mind those pretty green eyes being on you the whole time.
And when he has to take his shirt off to let you look at some bruised ribs, he can tell you're staring at more than just the bruises. He won't say anything, but when he leaves later he brushes his knuckles across your lower back to watch your reaction, pleased to see you arching from it.
Things go back and forth a weird push and pull of you both trying not to get too close but also soaking up the other's presence until he gets in a nasty fight. One that somehow lands him in solitary, though they've thrown him in there without bringing him to get checked up first, leaving you demanding the guards let you in. Against their concerns, you insist he'll be nothing but civil with you.
He's bloody and still heaving from the fight as he sits on the floor slumped over, but most of the blood actually isn't his, which is a relief you guess. When he kisses you as you get a closer look at his face, suddenly all bets are off and you're both starved for one another. Needless to say once the guards knock to check in, you request more time with the patient due to extent of injuries.
#mari writes#though its less writing and more //shrugs#i wrote a whole thing abt it for aria but I took parts of it for this#different from my usual ume content. i present: togame#i think ive been worried about in-characterness lately which#wouldn't happen if i just took the time to reread the manga and analyze everything again. dont have to worry when its an au tho......probab#ACTUALLY i had three different ideas for inmate togs and all of them were raunchy and slightly different only due to reader's jobs but like#the reporter one was goooood i was gonna make him smaaarmy#one of my followers gonna be like 'actually i work in a prison' and theyre gonna read me for filth#also he's in jail cause he took the fall for something Choji did prolly#togame jo x reader
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CHILDREN OF BHAAL
I adore the vibe of redeemed durge your sister killed your mind and took your place - it was the greatest gift she ever gave you
#orin the red#baldur's gate 3#bg3 orin#the dark urge#cant stop thinking about orin#myart#durge vaye#still deciding what kind of c section scar to give vaye#went with a vertical scar for this one#the lore for vaye is that he got pretty far into his life as baahls chosen as far as milestones are concerned#became unholy assassin almost finished those plans to take over the world had a kid for sacrifice/back up bhaalspawn purposes ect#& was daddy's perfect little murder baby <3 until the lobotomy ofc#then only with memory loss was there was enough distance for him to actually face how fucked the whole situation#btw Orin did Vaye's top surgery c-section and lobotomy <3#thats his whole medical team right there#when you wake up with no memory all you have is your body for evidence so i really leaned into that for vaye's scars#I gave him vash the stampede level scars lol#he wakes up knows 4 things: that hes been through metaphorical hell and survived that someone did a choppy job on his top surgery#that at one point he decided face + eye tattoos would be his thing and that hes had a child#Im debating whether or not Orin would outright kill the kid or if shed keep the kid around until theyre old enough to face her in a duel#Leaning towards the second#that means while vaye is wondering around faerun that kid is having arts and crafts time with auntie orin! (oh no oh no oh no)
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Seward's bone deep desire to run away from the asylum is not exactly surprising. There have been a lot of really good meta posts about how the return of Van Helsing into his life is the turning point where we see the caring and good side of him and how we can interpret his life as a student in Amersterdam as one of freedom and happiness. How he is part of the tragedy of manners, how strict social expectations allow Dracula to persist, and how they only exacerbate the unhappiness of the characters.
And I think the tragedy of Seward is that, really, he should not be the head of an asylum. It's a job that brings him no joy, and he's BAD at it. We can all recognize that if your first reaction to going back to work is "What if I just leave it all." That isn't a healthy work environment.
Now, in the modern day, the ability to pick and choose a work environment, even to leave one that is damaging your mental health, is a privilege. (IT SHOULDNT BE, but it is). And, although it is definitely reaching crisis levels in modern times, major changes in your career have almost always been difficult (unless you are really rich, or a particular brand of academic in the 17th-18th century, or both).
Seward can't just leave and become a surgeon. To give up the lofty position of "Head of an Asylum" would be unthinkable in the 1890s, especially for a reason like "Being here is basically turning me into the Joker." Like, how would Seward explain that in polite society? Would they accept that reasoning? Would they create salacious gossip if they didn't? Can Seward leave his position without losing a great amount of social capital?
Probably not.
His rise to head of an asylum, as many have pointed out, was meteoric, to say the least. It has afforded him status and respect and also left him deeply, deeply fucked up. And he can't leave!
I think his desperate attempts to quantify Renfield's behaviors into a new mental illness are telling in this regard. Maybe he is too used to having to meet some sort of expectation, and now he thinks this is the logical next step (It's NOT, but I digress). The feeling of having to keep performing above expectations, grasping at straws to do so, and subsequently burning oneself out (as well as others around you) and engaging in unethical practices? Idk. It sounds like something that would happen today. (tbh there are probably a ton of Sewards out there today, as there are still systemic problems within the mental health system that allow for the dehumanizing and abuse of patients).
It doesn't excuse his behavior. Nothing he does to Renfield is excusable, but I think it does explain some of the *why*. He isn't just cruel for cruelty's sake.
So, tldr I guess: I think reading Seward as someone who got stuck on a career path that he realized was unfufilling and that he ends up hating. Social conventions restrict him from just quitting without and a (socially acceptable) good reason to do so, and a lifetime of being regarded as one of the smartest people in the room means he can not allow himself to fail. Unfortunately, this also means he can not admit when his actions or his ideas are wrong when it comes to his job.
(But he can show that uncertainty FOR Lucy, and TO Arthur and Van Helsing, which speaks his trust and love for them)
#dracula daily#jack seward#re: dracula#i think im rambling#but this kind of hit me#Jack's trapped in the asylum too in a way#only difference is his place of power allows him to take out that frustration on others#and i think it speaks VOLUMES that one of Jack's first entries was about how he regretted exacerbating Renfield just to study him#and as the sleepless nights and days filled of performing a job that he hates (and cannot bring himself to admit he hates)#as well as the depression from rejection#he stops feeling guilty
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Wait is the middle picture from those three sketches that one scene from the wigmaker job?
yes! it's this specific passage where lucanis is just seething with rage and trying to keep a lid on it, and illario's a stablising, comforting presence. BROTHERS!!!!! <3 though i chose to draw his hand on his shoulder rather than his arm i guess. artistic liberty!
#in the future i want to discuss lucanis' anger in the short story + how spite would have made it worse#and how in my beautiful mind illario would have been the one to help him#no blood magic needed!!!!#like its a point of serious issues between the both of them and the relationship is like obviously fraught#and illario still gives his ambition pause because lucanis is losing himself to a demon and he drags him away from it#illario being a positive force despite his goals/lack of morality/etc is so interesting to me like. it doesnt matter what he's done#or the what's he's trying to do and all the usurping. lucanis is soothed just when his family is near#same applies to caterina to a . lesser extent. if they deserve this reaction from him is another thing#i also think. and important to note. that lucanis' internal narration never worries about illario's ability to finish the job#he sometimes giggles in his mind about illario not having the best balance or footing#but does not worry about the assassination being botched . and i also thought#the line 'i'm only here because of you' implies lucanis wants him to come on the job#considering he was the only one hired (the elf that greets them not recognising why he had someone with him)#so. i dont know why im saying all this actually. maybe just more on lucanis' dependancy on and care for illario + vice versa#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#answered#anonymous
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what would I do without you. indeed illario.
lucanis trust me! indeed illario. the ea-nasir vibes on this shitty little rat of a man (somehow still slightly affectionate despite myself)
I am obsessed with WHERE this letter is found and what we're meant to read into those context clues. I don't have a handy save for this mission right now to double check the details, but from memory: It's the room across from what seems implied to be Caterina's room (Lucanis says these are the family quarters, so Illario has kept her locked in her own room all this time probably?? Oh oh house arrest, house arrest for grandmother for ten thousand years style)? We find the scraps of a letter from Zara to Illario, torn to pieces with one fragment still in the empty fireplace so presumably we're meant to assume he burned it, and this old letter from Illario to Lucanis lying neatly on a table. Whose room is this? Because here's a theory one could put together that has some real crazymaking potential for me specifically at least:
Considering that we're helpfully down to only three Dellamortes to account for, it's likely either Lucanis' or Illario's room. If I'm remembering right/let's for a moment assume that Caterina is being confined to her own rooms -- the fact that Lucanis is her favourite and also heir apparent I'd say tips the scales for me that it's likely she'd keep him closest, whenever he's home. Thus opening for the possibility that all this time Illario has been staying in the room of the cousin he murdered but as it turns out not hard enough that he didn't come back again like a haunting, reading his own old letters to him that Lucanis apparently kept all this time (!!! ow !!!), and sparing them from the spiteful fate he gave Zara's 'aww chin up you'll get 'em next time babe' one, right across the hall from where the grandmother he apparently can't bring himself to kill or seriously hurt even with everything else he's done is imprisoned and i n c r e d i b l y pissed off, if she gets out of there while he's sleeping or something he's fucked. Has he been sleeping in Lucanis' bed since kidnapping Caterina????? (did they ever share a bed, when they were children? for comfort if not ever out of real necessity?) is this some kind of incredibly fucked up way to try to be close to them both somehow even when he is the one who messed it all up to begin with? no matter what I have so many questions here what is WRONG with this family???????? (well I don't think we have time to get into all that right now that's a novel not a text post probably fhsdkj)
#between this letter and lucanis' comment in hossberg about the disaster boat trip he went on with illario#something said click in my head and I went 'oh. they really are like my uncles then. say no more. I understand perfectly.'#like on a soul level I get it. putting it into words is a bit different but giving it my first shot here fjdsk#obviously 'yeah he killed his brother but he IS probably kind of sad about it' is like. not really redeeming in any real way here lol#but y'know it's something at least!#I think it's left intentionally ambiguous what illario is really feeling beneath all his theatrics and (bad. pathetic.) power ploys#he's certainly willing to use anything to his own ends for all that it's worth once he gets his grubby little claws on it!#but...#if only for lucanis' sake I want there to be *something* that could at least be mistaken for redeemable in a weird slanted light#in this little shit. the leftover fondness I do have for him from the wigmaker job blinds me perhaps. love does that sometimes. clearly#'my *only* friend. before you'. sigh here we go again my heart shattering into a million billion pieces once more#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte
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