#He looks like a giant bright disaster wherever he walks

[mewmewdoppio]

Rodimus human design bc I love him

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 24

first time reader click here

TWs/Summary: The party, finally. Nerds be nerds. They're all dorks tbh. Booze and partying. Clint is a disaster. Natasha is a queen. I beg for comments from y'all cuz I'm short on serotonin 🥺🥺🥺💚✨

This is a Spotify playlist I made for the first half of the party. Sets the mood 😌

The party was booming, the room was flooded with a large amount of people dressed in various extravagant outfits. It was enough to sweep my eyes over the crowd only once to take notice of the thought and money people had put into their outfits. I hardly noticed any cheesy "angel/devil" or "sexy cat" ensembles, my eyes caught on gemstones and feathers and floor-length gowns instead.

First Avenger to catch my eye was Thor - only because the people surrounding him barely held back from drooling. Hell, I did a spit-take: the usually graceless giant stood casually posted at one of the snack tables, wearing silver robes embroidered with tiny sparkling gemstones; a sleek, angular crown rested atop his head, his blonde hair was longer, lighter and straight. One look at his ears and the realisation struck me: Thor was Thranduil, the Elven king. It made sense since Peter had the thunderer hooked on the Lord of the Rings movies a couple of weeks ago...

Both Loki and Wanda cleaned up no less nicely. The Witch was wearing a midi dress, airy and soft, in pastel tones that brought out the natural rosiness of her cheeks and the scarlet undertones glimmering in the strands of her hair. Unlike me, she chose to wear a sparkling tiara, which Loki had created after a short debate - it was an intricate material illusion meant to last for at least ten hours.

Loki himself was a work of art: dark and macabre fantasy painting. I could barely tear my eyes away from the pale, tall man clad in dark green silks and brocade. The candlelight threw shadows on his angular face and his sharp cheekbones stood out more than ever: twenty minutes I spent on convincing him to let me put make-up on his face paid off spectacularly. Flickering lights toyed with the emeralds and forest greens of the shiny silk of his vest, giving Loki an ethereal glow. His eyes shone crimson red, making nearby people throw equally startled and appreciative looks.

As for myself, the stares I got were no more and no less than I expected. The dress I'd been aching to wear fit me perfectly, earthen tones, hand-embroidered blossoms and delicate golden threading. The layers of my skirt were just voluminous enough to give me the extra airy, floating walk, the medium-height platforms of my shoes lightening my step. The ropes securing them to my legs were decorated with flowers so delicate they looked real.

The peak of my outfit took an arm and a leg in bribery of the resident sorcerer-turned-vampire, but in the end, even Loki himself could hardly look away from his creation. An hour of research and some serious magic voodoo shit was what it took for the fluttering fairy wings to sit between my shoulder blades. I felt them as an extension of my own body, and whilst flying was definitely out of the question, I could flicker them and felt the delicate brush of Wanda's fingers as she admired the translucent, blue-green, marble-patterned sheen of pure, concentrated magic.

In hindsight, I should have simply bought a set of pre-made wings and asked Loki to enchant them to move on their own. Hindsight... I wasn't good at that. So, in this moment, with the wings syncing up with my jittery nerves, the shiny traitors shook with the force of stares directed at our little trio. There was an absurd amount of gorgeous people and breathtaking costumes, yet even then, we stood out like Mona Lisa in an indie art gallery. Muted 'woah's and 'oh-my-gods' traveled across the room, turning even more heads towards us.

"And you wanted to wear Walmart," I weakly chuckled in Wanda's direction, seeing her wide eyes and Loki's arm rapidly wrapping around her waist, catching her a brief moment before she stumbled. The trickster looked unimpressed and bored for all the world to see, but to me, the slight twitching of his eyebrow told me he wasn't feeling that much different from us girls either.

"Brother!" Thor gestured us over with a drink in each hand, parting the crowd of people easily.

Noah, et tu? I had no choice but to swallow my unease, hoping my concealer and highlighter did their job and my face hadn't lost the sublime glow I was aiming for. For a girl like me, the Fae aesthetic wasn't easily achieved: naturally, I wasn't innocent, I wasn't playful... However, I was mischievous. Plenty of that.

Spotting a semi-familiar face in the crowd of partygoers, I gave the man a lopsided grin and a wink without actually taking note of who he was. Tonight, I would be a fairy. I would play.

"King," Wanda mock-bowed with a laugh, carefully embracing Thor. Even Loki did a brief, composite left-handed tilt with a slight smirk.

"Where's the rest of the gang?" I giggled, immediately making grabby hands for the nearest brightly coloured, fruity concoction that fell into my eyesight. Being sober at a party was not something I had planned to be: first drink went down like water as Thor explained the whereabouts of our various friends.

"Steven and James are with Lady Natasha, there is a knife-throwing contest outside on the patio," As soon as those words left his mouth, Loki immediately perked up, not-so-subtly turning his torso towards the large open area.

"Go," I ushered him. "Win us something, good sir," With a chuckle of my own, I grabbed Wanda by the hand for both of us to give a chaste good luck kiss to each of Loki's cheeks. He smiled as I threw a tiny amount of sparkles at him, shouting "GOOD LUCK!" to his retreating back.

"Princess?" I heard a curious voice pipe up behind me, an arm carefully wrapping itself under my wings. Said arm jerked as the sensitive matter of my wings fluttered away from the touch, shivers running down my spine and making me shuffle in place awkwardly.

"Tickles," I breathed out, voice pitched.

Tony's utterly perplexed face came into view as he gave me an open-mouthed once-over. "Darling..." He cleared his throat. I had managed to rob Tony Stark of his words! "You look... Exquisite." His eyes critically surveyed the amount of make-up and glitter on my face before he lifted the inside of my wrist, touching his lips to the pulse point for two long seconds, stealing my breath away with the simple, intimate gesture. It was by far more powerful than having to get glitter out of his beard if he'd kissed me on the lips, or even on the cheek.

"Congratulations, you've caught a Fae," I grinned mischievously, my own eyes widening at the amount of tiny little details on Tony's costume. Delicate, moving clockwork gears and metals interwoven with dark brown, harsh leather; he wore a tophat decorated with a pair of glasses and both his arms and harnesses had moving details of polished, dull-grey chrome. It was unreal, like Tony had stepped out of a Steampunk graphic novel, like he'd just got done filming the Wild West movie. "Nerd," I affectionately brushed my fingers - glitter-free hand - along the handlebar mustache he'd grown out.

Tony spoke over Thor's laughter, pressing himself closer to me, this time careful around my wings. "Do I get to make a wish?"

"Don't be rude, Tony. The Fair Folk should be treated with politeness and respect," Bruce's amused voice signaled his arrival before I even saw him. His costume and Tony's complimented each other: whereas Tony the wngiy obviously was some sort of inventor, Bruce was a doctor, or perhaps, a chemist. Instead of moving gears, he had an array of brightly coloured vials attached to a gold-and-green embroidered belt, and a single monocle replaced his usual rectangular glasses. The scientist gallantly raised my palm to his lips, fighting a smile of his own. Utter nerds! "You're the most beautiful thing in this room, Princess. Everyone can't take their eyes off you," With that, a brief, bright flash of green blinked in his eyes and then I knew, Bruce and Hulk would be on my back, watching out for me wherever I would decide to go.

The knots in my back, in my stomach, slowly began to unwind, the feeling accelerated by the warmth of alcohol sitting low in my belly. I was happily sandwiched between my two men, chatting with Wanda and Thor, nibbling on the spooky treats that Tony's catering services had provided. They were delicious.

Sam appeared, dragging a flushed Clint in tow. The archer had evidently gotten well into his drinks, seeing as he was holding a horn in one hand whilst the other still barely held onto his head. Despite the costume fail, he seemed to be having the time of his life.

"We need glue," Sam announced, smiling in our direction. "Well, hello, ladies," Briefly, abandoning his bird bro, Sam kissed a giggling Wanda on the cheek and wrestled one of my hands from Tony to peck it, too. "My, my eyes have been so blessed!"

"What are you?" Wanda asked the man curiously, pointing at his... a sort of toga, brown leather shoes that looked more like hooves and a crown of... grapevine?

"Dionysus," Sam mock-bowed, "And this is my Pan. Who happens to be a lightweight and enjoys annoying witches that can throw knives with scary precision!" The man announced, annoyed, whilst Clint just drunkenly giggled as he was helped by Thor - the Asgardian-Elf was doing something to the archer's headdress and putting the wonky horn back in its place, hands steady despite Clint's swaying and squirming.

"Classy," I toasted Sam. "Who's the knife-throwing witch?"

"Natasha," He grabbed a drink of his own. "She went as Yennefer, both fossils are Witchers and Pietro is Jaskier. He looks like a proper court jester in that purple... Thing," The dark man was giggling, too, somewhat tipsy.

"The Ass of America could fit his sizeable rear end in leather pants? How much KY jelly did they use?" Tony snorted mockingly as all of us laughed. I remembered seeing an interview with Henry Cavill and his troubles regarding the leather pants - Tony's question was valid and you can fuckin' quote me on that.

"Man, don't ask me. I've already seen more than enough of him and Barnes in the supply closet," Sam winced, downing the remainder of his drink in one go.

"And what were you doing in the supply closet, Wilson?" Natasha was absolutely breathtaking in the black mesh dress. Pietro next to her looked like a masquerade attendee - in a good way. He had gone with the video game version of Jaskiers outfit and was a bright addition to or our mostly black and pastel coloured party.

Sam grumbled something unintelligible, striking a conversation with Pietro and Clint, pulling the rest of us into it one by one. People came by and went, saying their hellos and asking to take pictures - the party was attended by mostly SI and trusted SHIELD employees with the exception of a few B-level celebrities Tony knew personally, no press was allowed beyond their designated area so all of us could afford some degree of frivolity.

Steve and Bucky - oh my God their costumes were tight - shared kisses and heated glances over the tops of our heads. Bruce's hand snuck under the highest part of my skirt, caressing my legs and Tony's soft pecks on the top of my head filled me with the warmest sense of adoration. Loki, being the gentleman he was, had won both me and Wanda each a stuffed spider which we gracefully accepted, thanking the trickster with a dance.

Or three. Wanda went first, eyes sparkling and smile ten miles wide as she soaked up the admiration, the envious stares of the people in the room. The witch looked simply stunning, she was glowing, and Loki next to her shared the sentiment wholeheartedly - a small grin decorated his face, eyes kindest I'd ever seen them. In that moment, Wanda truly was a princess.

Three and a half drinks in, I swayed gently to the music, unbothered by the smile creeping on my face as I watched the two magical people dance and mingle. "You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey..." Singing along was a pesky habit of mine that manifested itself after a certain amount of liquor circulated through my system. It wasn't like I was a bad singer - my parents had made me take music classes until I was sixteen - but it was generally an embarrassing moment nonetheless. In that moment, I didn't give a damn. "You're as sweet as strawberry wine..." Trust Tony to pick the kind of music I actually knew and liked.

A flash of purple and my glass was snatched out of my hand and promptly downed. Shamelessly grinning, Pietro gave me a look with that cocky tilt of his lips, blonde hair in utter disarray. "That your work?" He nodded towards the dancing couple, giving the empty glass to Bruce who was now watching my swaying with a careful eye.

"My and Loki's," I replied dryly."Thank you," Pietro replied sincerely. "Wanda needed this," Briefly looking me over (fuckin' glitter! I was missing out on so many hugs!), the blonde settled on squeezing my hand between his own. "May I steal your lady for a dance?" He addressed Bruce, seeing as Tony was immersed in a conversation with some dude dressed as Marty from Back to The Future. IT department, maybe?

"You may, but no funny business," Bruce looked godly in his outfit with the stern expression: eyebrows drawn together, lips pursed and irises having just a tinge of green. Hulk watching me added an unexpected sort of spice to our interactions. It made me feel...

"Let's go, Printsesa," Pietro unceremoniously dragged me to the dancefloor, all but stomping over other people's feet, shoes, tails and various other accessories. Boys will be boys... And we danced, and we laughed - until Loki and Wanda floated over to us, promptly swapping partners with fluidity I didn't expect from either of the twins. I watched Pietro spin Wanda with a smile as the Witch shrieked and cursed at her overenthusiastic brother.

"How's it going, Lokes?" I addressed the resident vampire, placing an arm on his shoulders. Tall ass bastard.

"Better than I expected," He admitted. "Although I cannot say I appreciate intoxicated Midgardian males."

"Nobody likes drunk dudes," I rolled my eyes. "I've lost count how many faces I've punched and balls busted at parties. They just don't learn."

"Oh, indeed, you're a fighter, little one. How could have I forgotten?" Loki teased me, doing an elaborate twirl to narrowly avoid the slap I was aiming at his chest. Tall, cheeky bastard.

I definitely should have put salt in his tea sugar.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 29 S4: Joey Wheeler, Dead Again

It took me kind of a while to get around to recapping again, been some drama on this end due to a couple natural disasters all happening in conjunction with eachother, but thankfully we are back in the green (sort of) there’s still wildfire smoke out my window but at least...at least the fires aren’t getting any bigger.

And it’s a shame we didn’t get to it sooner, because this episode has so many wild things in it, I don’t even know where to start. There was a lot of dueling, so I didn’t have to cap a whole lot...but even within such few caps, there’s some stuff to talk about. Like first off, the Kaiba’s inability to walk five feet without getting attacked by someone.

Seto still winning Brother of the year award even after nearly shooting his bro with real ass lightning. Because remember, this lightning is 100% real. None of these are holograms.

And by the way, a “hologram” just grabbed Mokuba with real ass hands and Seto was like “Clearly still a hologram!” Because that is how deep his denial runs.

Anyways, this is where the Kaibas will be until the remainder of this episode, so we’ll just leave them where they are.

(read more under the cut)

Back at the duel between Mai and Joey, we’re slowly working out what it is the Orichalcos even does.

We have had very little indication you can break the Oricalchos control on people’s minds up to this duel, but because Joey showed heart and bravery or whatever--he’s been slowly chipping away at Mai’s crusty, neon green, outer shell.

(I had a littttle bit of a hunger for some Taco Bell Baja Blast, not gonna lie. A little bit tempted because of that weird color. And now that I’ve eaten popcorn, I am 80% itching to drive to Taco Bell and make some mistakes. But I won’t.)

Comparing this to Pharaoh and Kaiba and their Oricalchos duels (even Rex and Weevil’s) it kind of makes you wonder why this never happened.......to anyone else? I mean, obviously it’s plot reasons, but it would have been a little neat to have some character development for the other villains.

But this unnecessary duel to the death between Joey and Mai spends most of the time screaming about how deep and real their love friendship is. Just a whooole bunch of aggressive friendzoning for the lady who just aggressively hates everyone.

(Haven’t seen much of Yugioh Abridged because it’s spoiler territory but everyone who retweets Joey stuff puts “Brooklyn Rage” in there so I have learned the lingo through osmosis.)

So because, someone’s absolutely going to die, lets start going through all of the flashbacks to remind the audience to feel something when they biff it. Lets recite the times we all spent with Mai.

Remember how they brushed Mai under the rug for 3 seasons, and now that they actually need her, they’re shooting themselves in the foot because there’s actually very little evidence that they like eachother at all?

But they do show those few times they hung out: the camping trip where they almost got burned alive by PaniK, that time that Joey caught her smelling her own cards, that time that Yugi had a panic attack because he was convinced Pharaoh would murder her during a card game, that time that she almost got hit by a fireball and then Joey jumped in front of her.

PS, that fireball scene--they keep going back to that fireball scene but they cut out the part where, yes, Joey jumped in front of her--but then Yugi jumped in front of Joey, and then Yami took over and was like EFF YUGI DAMN IT while he got pegged with fireballs. Like...c’mon, Yugioh, there was a lot of fanservice in that particular episode, and you’re leaving out a majority of the ships.

Partial truth, Yugioh--you’re telling partial truths. If we’re saying friendzoning is a good replacement for some sort of romance, then this show is just a giant geometric shape of “who might possibly like who if they weren’t so addicted to friendship.” This show has “friendship” as the underlying tagline of every episode with every person.

In the process of removing romance--they accidentally made SO MUCH MORE romantic implications in this show. I just feel like this backfired in so many ways. Or...maybe this was exactly what they wanted. And by “they” I mean that one writer who stans Seto Kaiba in the back--just sitting there in the corner of the writer’s room tapping his fingers together and cackling like an evil villain. He knows what he did. Genius mastermind, slipping in his favorite ships by making every ship Yugioh-legal.

And, also the Joey/Mai duel was a lot of this type of questionable content:

Joey Freakin Wheeler.

So I forgot if I mentioned this, but my bro had this friend in college who go struck by lightning not once, but multiple times in his life. He lived in like Virginia or North Carolina--one of the monsoon States, and he’d go on this hike to the top of this mountain--and on two different occasions at the same spot, he got stuck by freakin lightning. So like...Joey Wheelers do exist. There are people out there who just...

They’re just lightning rods wherever they go and their brain is somewhat scrambled eggs because of it.

(PS fun fact I googled just now because I couldn’t remember which state Virginia was, a Virginian by the name of Roy Sullivan was supposedly struck by lightning 7 different times and survived all of them. The more you know. ((PS still on the Google deep dive and the same guy also claimed to have been attacked by a bear 22 times (he’s a park ranger, so that checks) and once he was attacked by a bear immediately after he got struck by lightning which is like some pretty pro strats by said bear.)))

But like...kinda weird that Joey’s now kinda into this, and got super into it during a lovers friendship quarrel.

Anyway, all things come to an end, so Mai decides after enough cards have been played and Joey is clearly about to die...maybe it’s time to just accept not being 1st in the world in cards. Which...would have meant she should have been playing Yugi during this duel but, wtv. She clearly wants to be mad at Joey, specifically.

And I think the show didn’t do such a good job explaining why she was focused on Joey and not any of the other duelists until the very end, but we’ll get there. We’ll finally get to an explanation of why she was so fixated on Wheeler, we just have to wait for him to die first.

Because after the lightning strikes, and after putting so much effort into punching Valon right before this...Joey is too sleepy to continue.

So he’s just gonna die here instead...

2nd time he’s passed out in a duel by the way. Remember that Joey almost beat Marik, but was too damn sleepy after the electrocution? Same situation here. Look at that parallel.

Reminder that Joey STARTED this duel.

It’s like when you’re playing a game with a toddler and then it just passes out halfway and without any warning with it’s face just flat into the carpet.

Anyway, Mai grabs him in her arms sobbing all over him like she just did with Valon and it’s like...damn, this girl can just turn it off and on huh? Like she’s only 100% or -100% when it comes to the relationship meter, huh? No in between?

Mmmm cue that irony that Yugioh loves so much, this entire duel was unnecessary, because all you had to do was yoink that necklace.

Really the solution to dealing with a lot of assholes in Yugioh, to be honest.

This really is what Seto says in the show, by the way--a glitch. I like that Seto does not accept that dragons can feel sadness, and is just ITCHING to patch that out in the next release of duel monsters. I imagine that he’ll make a meeting once this is all over with his code team and at the top of the list will be the demand “Make The Dragons Stop Crying.” triple underlined, bold, and in bright red font. The entire code team will side eye eachother, unsure if this is a literal bug or something that Seto just hears all the time but no one else can hear.

So back at the Joey death fort, Mai decides to finally illustrate with words why she had to go so hard on killing Joey wheeler.

It was because she saw his kindness and his help as a weakness and a failure on her part. Mai, who always wants to be independent and in charge, could not accept that someone else had saved her or would want to save her. Which was apparently why she decided to peace out back at the end of the Marik arc.

It’s a bit of a complicated character for a kid’s show, I’m not sure how many kids understood the pride situation here, but it’s nice they stuck in something that wasn’t just “I want to be the best.” It was more that she didn’t want to be helped in order to become the best.

(PS, there’s this flashback scene where Joey’s like “bye” as she drives away and it was unintentionally a very awkward and funny cut and I may grab that little quip. I have to cap a couple of animations, tbh, I haven’t done that in a while)

So, now that she is fully recovered, she decides to complete the parallel of when Joey saved her in a death coma and now she will do the same (although it is SLIGHTLY different since in this version she kind of absolutely killed Joey Wheeler but...still works). She decides to do the job these stupid boys have not been able to do for the entirety of this season.

(these boots are REALLY well drawn, by the way. OBSESSED with Mai’s boots.)

If only she swooped up Pharaoh and just stuck him on the back of her bike to get this final fight going.

But Pharaoh’s too busy getting lost in San Francisco, and stumbling upon Joey’s dead body.

That this is the season where Yami can do nothing right and it just keeps happening.

No idea how we’re going to resurrect Joey in so short a period of time, but we’re completely out of spooky necklaces, so I guess we can’t do the Pharaoh solution to just...stick him back in there.

Anyways, I’m off to recover from the trauma of my house burning down last week, so I’m gonna go eat a pint of ice cream while I dream of a life before quarantine (was there a time before quarantine? I honestly don’t remember)

If you just got here this is a link to these in chrono order.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[epicstuckyficrecs]

2019 New Writers Fic Rec

After seeing some Discourse on Twitter, I decided to make a fic rec with some of my favorite new writers! All of these writers only started posting Stucky fanfic in 2018 or 2019. So here are some “new” writers and some of my favorite fics from them! (in no particular order)

PS: sorry for not putting the trope, word count and rating as I usually do, I wanted to try and make this fic rec quickly! 

PS2: also sorry if I chopped all your summaries, but some of them are hella long and this post is already... pretty long.

PS3: this went way past “favorite new writers” and just became “great new writers” because I wanted to prove a point, oops. 

verzacefatale 

You be yours and I'll be mine : “Oh, god. We got married, didn’t we?” 

14-Inch Cock and a Few Hundred Bimbos : There are some things in life, Steve muses as he stares down at his crotch, that nothing can prepare you for. His dick suddenly growing six inches in length and another two in girth, just because he opened a box in a Hydra dug out that maybe he should have read the instructions on before he did? How was he to know it was literally magic that would make his cock grow huge?

~

2bestfriends 

Collar Full of Chemistry : AKA a fantasy BDSM romance featuring heavy mutual pining, feelings denial, and enough kink to blackout a bingo card. 

Like Real People Do : AKA the "Lumberjack Steve/Twink Bucky" fic of our hearts.

~

deadonarrival

100,000 Miles And Feeling Very Still : Steve Rogers took a job at NASA and his life is pretty okay. Maybe not great but he has some good friends and things seem to be mostly stable. Except one day their new astronaut recruit walks in and everything in Steve's life goes upside down.

Latte Art and Slow Dancing in the Dark (WIP): Bucky is a somewhat well-adjusted former army sniper that got his shoulder blown out. He took his discharge and went home to finish school and is working on his international relations masters. His best friends and roommates (Nat & Clint) are CIA agents and tip him off that their local Sbux is hiring. He gets a job there and meets none other than the hottest guy on earth.

~

voxofthevoid

(series) couldn't get the boy to kill me (ongoing): Captain America and the Winter Soldier are a terrifying duo on the field, working together with a well-oiled precision that tears through their enemies. Captain Rogers and Agent Barnes are distant coworkers, all polite nods and mission briefings. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are fire and gasoline; the sparks between them have no choice but to roar into raging infernos.

happily ever after has bite marks in it : In which Bucky is aggressively okay with his self-imposed exile from society, and Steve is a werewolf who’s nothing like the Brooklyn boy Bucky still dreams of.

darling heart, i loved you from the start (but that's no excuse for the state i'm in) : Or, the one where Steve saves the mind stone for last and decides to fuck the timeline beyond all recognition, which regrettably involves crawling delicately up Hydra's asshole and less regrettably involves showering a very confused Bucky Barnes with affection.

(series): i'm guilty of treason (i've abandoned control) : S.H.I.E.L.D Agent Bucky Barnes is captured on a mission and meets Commander Steve Rogers, the erstwhile Captain America.It escalates quickly.

four dreams in a row where you were burned : When Steve uses the last of his Pym Particles to travel to 1944 and save his best friend, he doesn’t have a plan beyond leaving behind the battlefield and living his life alongside the people he loves. But the life that finds him is not the one he expects.

~

deisderium

much tattoo about nothing : Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

(series) tits out, lads : On the walk back from Azzano, Bucky keeps touching Steve's chest. Then he touches it some more. And more.

Let Them Eat Cake : Bucky wanted to know why their new pastry chef had gun calluses on his right hand.

deep dive : In which single dad Bucky Barnes has a crush on his daughter's dive team coach and thirsts awkwardly. 

thot through the heart (and you're to blame) : In which Bucky is a baby vampire, a disaster, out to have a good time, and hopelessly in love with his roomate; and in which Steve has a few secrets of his own.

Political Animals (WIP) : or—Steve’s best friend is the U.S. Constitution and he can’t seem to stop fucking a hot Republican. They shouldn’t fall in love, but somehow they do.

~

thedoubteriswise

time on my hands (could be time spent with you) : "You doing okay, kid?” Steve releases a breath, deciding how honest he wants to be. No point in lying. No point in telling the truth, either. "Glad to see you.""That’s not what I asked, but same to you, punk."

honey don't feed it, it will come back : He’s stroking the cat’s fur, which is soft and fine now that it’s clean. He looks so open and inviting. Steve doesn’t close his eyes, watching Bucky’s gentle fingers and trying to come up with a plausible excuse to go touch him.

Ill With Want : Bucky pretends to be asleep when Steve crawls into bed, too tired to feel guilty over the quivery pleasure that settles in his belly when Steve’s arm brushes his. He drifts to sleep in a comfortable haze and tries not to wonder where this feeling was two hours ago when he had Marie in his lap.

~

steebadore

Controlled Release : Bucky's just having a little trouble...finishing. Completing the mission. He can squeeze the trigger but he can't make the shot is what he's saying. Which is why he's here, loitering outside a nice brownstone in Park Slope, trying to find the courage to knock on Captain Come Control dot com's door for his three o'clock appointment.

it takes a lot to know a man : Bucky flips to the next page, and the world around him grinds to a halt as his brain struggles to process what he's seeing. The noise of the train fades and static fills the inside of his head as he looks down at the sketches of the metal-armed guy without the mask. It's—that's him. It's Bucky's own goddamn face staring back at him from this stranger's sketchbook.

~

AidaRonan

Quench : Or the one where archeology intern Bucky Barnes meets actual archeologist Steve Rogers and reaches levels of thirst scientists once believed to be theoretically impossible.

Carnal Synchronicity : AKA A Tale of Two Stevies

Fraternizing With the Enemy : Steve and Bucky are both the presidents of their respective fraternities. Steve thinks Bucky's frat is filled with selfish party animals who care about little else. Bucky thinks Steve is a giant pretentious douchebag who owns too many Lacoste polos. They hate each other. Passionately.

~

lockedlocke

I just need you to show me : A quick google search tells him that the app he needs to get for something quick and easy, with no strings attached is Grindr. He downloads the app while he watches a bit of a Simpsons episode. It doesn’t take long, and when the app is downloaded, he looks at black icon with the yellow mask.

Pride : So here he was, at Pride despite the fact that he’d rather be at home. It’s hot, boiling and his feet hurt a bit from standing all day. Converse might be nice shoes, but Jesus they were terrible for his knees.

~

mcwho

it never hurt nobody : “I thought we agreed that that was creepy.” “No,” Bucky says slowly. “I asked you what you thought about people calling their boyfriends daddy, and you said you thought it was creepy, and then I asked you what the hell you’d done with my grey sweater after you did laundry, and we never talked about it again.”

(series) the serum amplifies : Little PWPs about Steve and Bucky’s sex life and the serums effect on it.

~

missandrogyny

don't know where i'm going (but i'll get back to you and me) : AU where Bucky is an assassin who just can’t seem to kill Steve

~

LeeHan

The Right Partner : Steve meets a beautiful man with a bright laugh on a sunny day in Italy. Captain America meets the elusive Winter Soldier moments later.

The Best Way to Wake : James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something.

~

amethystkrystal

Taking This One Step At A Time : In the weeks that follow, Bucky's omega urges start going haywire, and he realizes that night with Steve may have left him with more than just a fond memory.

Realignment : After assembling their own Infinity Gauntlet, the Avengers defeated Thanos and brought back everyone who disappeared. But their victory came at a great cost: in order to take the Soul Stone, Steve had to sacrifice the Captain America mantle and all the super-soldier strength that came with it.

~

cydonic

Home Is Wherever I'm With You : This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.

~

deadto27

The Sweetest Spark : Steve Rogers runs a successful business. He has great friends and a great life. It seems like he has it all. So why is he sitting in a diner on a Friday night alone? Maybe he's just a little lonely. Maybe Bucky Barnes can help with that.

Maybe This Christmas : Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

~

NachoDiablo

Reconcilable Differences : AKA, "What To Do When Your Zany Fake-Relationship Scheme Actually Works."

~

odetteandodile

If Only In My Dreams : Bucky is a highly successful cooking and lifestyle blogger. He writes all about life in his Connecticut home with his D.H. (darling husband). Only problem? It’s all complete fiction.

So I Took a Faithful Leap : Bucky doesn’t fall and Steve doesn’t crash. The Howling Commados take out the remaining Hydra bases…and then they go home, just like all the other allied soldiers. Steve buys a farm in Washington state, and tries to relearn how to be at peace.

Art Thief, Heart Thief : Agent Steve Rogers is facing a series of art thefts that has him stumped, and looking for a break in the case. Convicted art thief and general high end criminal Bucky Barnes wants to make parole and happens to know all of the right people who could make Steve's job easier.

Under the Hawthorn Tree : A young man wanders into the woods one night, and wanders until he isn't a young man anymore—but something else. Seventy years later, another man follows him. Inside of a magic ring, they meet.

~

canistakahari

don't threaten me with a good time : Steve's taken him on vacation to a cabin in Canada in the middle of winter, so it's obviously the perfect time for his body to go haywire. Bucky is determined to stick it out, though, partly because he's a stubborn bastard, but mostly because he feels some kinda way about Steve.

Heckin' Chunker for Love : On the inside of the big floor to ceiling window of the office across the street, someone has used Post-it Notes to spell out a message: W H A T I S Y O U R C A T ’ S N A M E ?

(TBR) All of Your Love is Sunlight : Sometimes the path to happiness involves bad timing turned good, a butt plant, and a little everyday magic. For Steve and Bucky, it's all that and more.

~

birdjay

(TBR) STAR PLAN : He’s the most gorgeous thing Bucky’s ever laid eyes on.He’s his new tentative boss. Maybe. If this interview goes well enough, anyway. “So, Mr. Barnes?” Steve asks, blinking at him from across a particle board table. “You ever work security before?”

stay : The platform buzzes, and suddenly goes quiet. The cycle has finished. Bucky doesn’t bother to look. There’s no way Steve’s coming back when he has the chance to stay. He moves to walk away, to move on with his life, somehow. “Buck -- ?”

(TBR) The Conservation of a 17th Century Painting : Steve can’t even remember the last time he’s spoken to someone actually interested in art, who coincidentally is also someone he’d like to bang. Actually, no. He’s never had that happen.

~

dragongirlG

Searching Every Lonely Place : After the Battle of New York in 2012, Steve searches for Bucky with the help of the Avengers as he bumbles through a series of comedic misunderstandings with undercover HYDRA agents.

Reclamation : The Winter Soldier’s mask never falls off when he fights Captain America on the overpass and the helicarrier. That doesn’t stop the Soldier from recognizing Captain America and wondering why the man’s face is haunting his scattered memories.

~

megs_bee

Nothing Good Ever Happens On A Tuesday : Recently discharged soldier James Barnes is back in Brooklyn, down an arm and missing five years of memories, but he’s got his PTSD mostly under control, a fancy metal prosthetic, and what’s starting to feel like it could be a half-decent life. What he doesn’t have is any memory of the kid looking at James and asking him, “Are you my daddy?” -- or the gorgeous blond guy standing next to her.

A Ghost Before You Were a Ghost Story : “I’m sorry to wake you, Sir, but there appears to be an intruder on the roof. ”Tony finds the camera showing a figure standing alone on the roof, black tactical gear blending into the black night sky. Barely a shadow among shadows, save for the glint of silver along the figure’s left side. The Winter Soldier.

~

VenusMonstrosa

Extant : After a sudden and violent storm forces the crew of Insight III to perform an emergency evacuation, astronaut James Barnes was believed to have died and was left behind on Mars. Two years later, Commander Steve Rogers still refuses to let go. Fortunately, so does Bucky.

Through The Woods : There’s a legend in Mansewood, nearly as old as the town itself, about a pack of werewolves that once lived in the forest. They say only one survives; a monstrous and snarling beast with fur like a blizzard and fangs the size of daggers. Steve doesn’t care about any of that. He only wants to know if it prefers T-Bone or ribeye, and would it please stop tracking dirt through his house? He just mopped the floor.

~

BlueSimplicity

(series) You Are Responsible For What You Tame : After the events in DC and on the helicarriers, and the realization that his friend Bucky Barnes is still alive, Captain Steve Rogers swears that he will do anything he can to find him. It is easier said than done, as Steve searches desperately for any hint or clue that will lead him to his friend. Steve searches, but Bucky does not want to be found. And so begins their game of cat and mouse, as Steve does everything in his power to convince Bucky to come home.

~

GoldBlooded

A Midsummer Knight's Dream : Sir Steven, knight, alpha, and baron of a small countryside estate, receives an invitation to a Royal Tournament: It’s a winner-take-all competition, and the prize? The hand of Prince James, the kingdom’s most eligible omega, in marriage.

Feast On This : Steve, Sarah, and Bucky are headed down to Florida to visit the Barnes family for Thanksgiving. Bucky's tired of the interrogation about his love life from his Ma, and Sarah suggests the simplest solution would be for he and Steve to fake it for a few days. How hard can it be, right? After all, they've shared a bed before. After all, it's only pretend... Right?

Luck of the Irish Stroll : Every year Steve and Sam go on the Irish Stroll Bar Crawl, and ever since their first time on the Stroll four years ago, Steve and Sam cross paths with Bucky and Natasha. Every year Steve’s world is rocked by the gorgeous, blue-eyed man that has captivated him since they first locked eyes fighting over a couple of pints of Guinness from the bartender. But Steve's starting to want and need more of Bucky... will this be the year he can make it last for more than one night?

~

girlbookwrm

(TBR) (series) The Hundred Year Playlist : Steve and Bucky, start to finish. "Come on, pal, it's me. Take another hundred years if you want, I'll still be here."

sidereal : Captain Rogers never did a self-portrait; we can only speculate who his soulmate — or soulmates — might have been.

~

ClaraxBarton

Holding On : “Your poll numbers are way down, and we need to get them back up.”

~

stfustucky

Salt & Sugar (collab with GoldBlooded) : Steve Rogers is a bigshot celebrity chef in New York City, and Bucky Barnes is a classically trained pastry chef in Moscow. When billionaire and mutual friend Natasha Romanoff calls on them to collaborate for her Memorial Day Benefit Gala, they both brace themselves to spend the week working with some jerk they're bound to hate. 

Honestly, Fuck Brooklyn : Or, the one where it takes yet another apocalypse for the somewhat oblivious Bucky Barnes to figure out that his dorky artist boyfriend Steve is actually Captain Goddamned America.

~

writeonclara

How to Woo the Winter Soldier : Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Let’s Read Comics! With Samantha and her girlfriend :D

And this week we bring you another tale of the Silver Age Teen Titans!

You might remember (Or might have blocked out) how they SAVED CHRISTMAS by plagiarising the plot Dickens “A Christmas Carol” the last time we read one of their stories

And you might think “I bet this story will make more sense than that one did!”

Treasure that innocence while it lasts

My Girlfriend: What the hell am I looking at and why does it look like something that someone had to take off of their Deviantart account for violating the rules about mature content

Me: remember how much fun we had tackling that Teen Titans Christmas Special?

My Girlfriend: OH NO

Me: I hope your ready for more of these Hip Cats Groovy and Swinging Adventures

My Girlfriend: god damn it Samantha

Me: “That’s another fine mess we got ourselves in and then got ourselves out of off panel!”

My Girlfriend: “It’s kind of hard to measure your speed when your travelling through time”

Not even two pages in and this comic is already making scientists everywhere cry

Me: But on the bright side the fact that Wally is talking about how Powerful His Vibrations Are

While cradling another man in his arms

Is surely making fanfic writers happy

My Girlfriend: Swings and roundabouts

It turns out the sight that has captivated the two Titanic Teens is a LITERAL ACTUAL FACTUAL CASTLE

Me: THEY’VE GONE TO DISNEYLAND

My Girlfriend: Finally Wally will get another crack at completing his collection of Disney Princess funko pops

Me: I HAVE

SO MANY QUESTIONS

My Girlfriend: I don’t even know where to begin here

Me: “Dressed as sorcerers”

Apparently in this timeline sorcerers wear skintight yellow and red spandex and truly eye searing combos of a dull mustard yellow high collared shirt and bright orange pants

My Girlfriend: TRADITIONAL SORCERER GARB

Me: What else could they be

My Girlfriend: I love how the one idiot with a scythe is still commited to attacking these two despite the fact that there is a DRAGON BEHIND THEM

Me: He firmly believes that when you set out to do something you should do it, no matter what new information suggests it’s a horrible idea

My Girlfriend: He’s got a bright future in British politics

The dragon scares off the Ignorant Villagers but also tries to take a bite out of Flash and Mal, leading Wally to quip that the dragon “Sure could use some mouthwash”

Me: HEY

YOU try living on a diet of treasure and human flesh, see how your dental hygiene fairs

My Girlfriend: The dragons skin maybe be immune to swords and spears

But its FEELINGS can still be hurt

The narrator declares “Think back Kid Flash and recall what happened that morning…in Mr Jupiters laboratory”

My Girlfriend: …..

Who the hell is Mr Jupiter?

Me: He’s the weird old man who was the mentor to the Titans at this point in time

My Girlfriend: I don’t want to know what memory Wally is repressing

Turns out it’s the memory of disaster occurring in Mr Jupiter’s laboratory in the form of general super science pandemonium

Into which walks…

Me: Sure was nice of them not to warn Mal that Jupiter was busy breaking the laws of physics until he just wandered into the room

My Girlfriend: PUT A WARNING SIGN UP OR SOMETHING

Me: I do feel like Mal bears some responsibility though like

He has peripheral vision

Did he just…not notice the giant glowing pink portal?

My Girlfriend: HE LIVES IN A TOWER WITH A BOY WHO TALKS TO FISH AND AN AMAZON WARRIOR

Glowing pink portals are probably the most mundane thing imaginable to him

Me: He didn’t have the warnings our generation did

THAT TOO MUCH PINK ENERGY IS DANGEROUS

As Mal arrives wherever Mr “I have never heard of Health and Safety” has sent him he muses that perhaps this is “All in my mind!”

My Girlfriend: “Am I mad?

In a coma?

OR BACK IN TIME”

Me: It’s a godawful small affair…

Mal looks around and apropos of NOTHING declares “Good god…that machine Jupiter was working on…it had something to do with TIME!”

Me: So he’s basing this on…WHAT exactly?

My Girlfriend: I don’t know what annoys me more

That he immediately leapt to the most ridiculous explanation

OR THAT HE’S RIGHT

Me: Like…he is suddenly surrounded by mountains and wilderness

1) BOTH OF THOSE THINGS EXIST IN THE PRESENT DAY

2) even if they DIDN’T…wouldn’t assuming this is all a hologram make more sense?

Relatively speaking?

My Girlfriend: Occams razor does not exist in the DCU

Mal is approached by some hairy loincloth clad gents and muses a startled “ULP! NEANDERTHALS” to himself

Me: Or worse, it’s another poorly judged PETA photoshoot

My Girlfriend: He just needs to be on the lookout for any white girls with dreadlocks carrying bongos

That will tell him if he’s in the presence of monstrous cave dwellers

Or if he’s back in time and these are Neanderthals

Me: I SEE WHAT U DID THERE

However the Neanderthals are not violent as he feared!

In fact…

My Girlfriend: He has not done anything but Stand There and wear slightly more clothes than the rest of them

But they’ve decided he’s god now

Me: They just blindly follow the first person who catches their attention and declare them their leader

Regardless of them presenting no qualifications for the role

Guess the machine only transported him through time and not space

Because it sounds like he’s still in America

My Girlfriend: TOPICAL

And back with the Titans who aren’t being worshiped by cro-magnon man as the Messiah?

Me: “NO!

HE WASN’T COMPLETE TRANSFORMED INTO ENERGY!

IF THAT’S WHAT YOUR THINKING!”

Why

Would that be

WHAT ANYONE WAS THINKING

My Girlfriend: Does everyone in the DCU just leap to the most Absurd Fuckin Solution to any question at the drop of a hat?

Me: “An update to that missing hikers story…park rangers have declined to comment whether or not they might have been completely transformed into energy”

My Girlfriend: And why is Wally surprised at time travel being a thing?

YOUR UNCLE DOES THIS WITH HIS STAIRMASTER

Me: I’m just curious about the fact that Jupiter seems SURPRISED that he built a time machine

Like

WHAT WAS THE GIANT GLOWING PORTAL MEANT TO DO

If it wasn’t intentionally a time device?

“how can I call myself a scientist?

I should have known better than to experiment with something so unstable with you kids around…it was pure irresponsibility!” Jupiter monologues to himself overdramatically

Me: “It’s inappropriate to open doorways through time and space with young people in the house!”

My Girlfriend: Remember kids

If someone tries to open a doorway through time in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable

THAT’S NO GOOD

Wally reassures him that he time travels all the time so he can probably find Mal…

Me: I’m sure it will cheer Jupiter up to know that something he’s spent months of his life toiling over can be achieved by a teenager in banana yellow spandex using his uncles treadmill

My Girlfriend: “Thank you Wally

Thank you for making this horrible day worse”

And what’s Mal up to?

Well…

Me: “She is rather nice looking…for a cave girl!”

Almost as if the male writer and artist for this book decided to draw her much less dirty and hairy than the make cavement

My Girlfriend: YES ALMOST

Me: “It’s strange!

Somehow despite living thousands of years in the past she has much less body hair

And her hair is neat and clean

And I think she’s wearing make up????”

My Girlfriend: I’m troubled by the consent issues here

Me: I AM TROUBLED BY EVERYTHING HERE

Mal

She can’t even string a sentence together

Romancing her is like romancing a dog

Unfortunately one of the cavemen takes exception to Mal’s amorous advances…whacking the ground with his Hitty Whacky Stick which leads Mal to declare that “HE’S CHALLENGING ME TO A DUEL!

WITH CLUBS!”

My Girlfriend: As opposed to a duel with hearts or diamonds

Me: it’s going to be embrassing for all concerned when it turns out he was actually challenging Mal to a dance off

My Girlfriend: “ME AND YOU BRO”

Me: Whoever has the hippest movies gets to take this Foxy Lady to Makeout Point

Whoever loses must toss themselves off of Deadmans Curve

While back in the present, Lilith gives Flash the Sound Advice that she “Thinks Mal’s in the distant past! I keep getting these impressions of cavemen!”

My Girlfriend: ………….

……………………………………………

I’m sorry what

Me: Somehow Lilith’s power can apparently reach back a few dozen…HUNDRED…years now

And sense exactly where in prehistory Mal has landed

My Girlfriend: “LUCKILY FOR US FLASH MY POWERS CAN DO WHATEVER THE PLOT DEMANDS THEY NEED TO”

Me: it sure would have been useful to the team if she ever demonstrated this level of power before

Or if she ever demonstrated it afterwards

Wally concurs with a upbeat “Right on Lilith! I’ve doubted your hunches in the past but this time I’ll have to hope it pays off!”

Me: So the one time he chooses to believe in her power

Is the time she tells him she can sense that their friend got hurled back into caveman times

My Girlfriend: “I’ve doubted you before

But now your telling me something completely nonsensical I guess I HAVE to believe you!”

Meanwhile, thousands of years in the past…

Me: I like to think the Amok Time fight music is playing the entire time this goes on

My Girlfriend: Neither of them know where it’s coming from and they’re not going to question it

Me: The only way this could get more Classic Star Trek is if Mal ripped his shirt during this fight

Mal is backed up over the cliff…but luckily for him and for the narrative this just so happens to be the EXACT MOMENT that Wally shows up

Me: Sure is lucky he didn’t show up like five seconds later or this issue would have taken a MUCH DARKER TONE

My Girlfriend: I like to think he just stood somewhere watching the fight before choosing to intervene

Me: On the one hand I know I should condemn him watching his friend almost get murdered

On the other hand…how often do you get to see a CAVEMAN BATTLE

What happens next has to be seen to be believed…

Me: This

Is a moment worthy of Newspaper Spiderman in how incompetent is truly is

My Girlfriend: “WHOOPS

LOOKS LIKE I ACCIDENTALLY JUST MURDERED A GUY”

Me: “Sure is lucky for me that there’s no law in the stone age”

My Girlfriend: Doesn’t Kid Flash routinely fight people who hurl exploding boomerangs and blast him with jets of flame?

BUT APPARENTLY HE’S NO MATCH FOR A WOODEN CLUB

Me: Kid Flash’s one weakness

A STICK

My Girlfriend: HE’S ALLERGIC TO WOODEN CLUBS

Me: “Take it easy!

That man whose life you were trying to save?

HE’S LONG DEAD

AND YOU MURDERED HIM

SO YOU CAN CHEER UP”

My Girlfriend: “No need to worry

He’s splattered all over the ground

Take a good look!”

Me: I am genuinely curious just what even logic the cavemen are operating on here

This guy shows up out of nowhere…they declare him god…one of them tries to murder him with a stick…then his friend shows up and murders one of their tribe

And that makes them EVEN MORE FRIENDLY towards them

My Girlfriend: Maybe the guy these two just Absolutely Murdered was the Tribe Asshole?

Me: That or their just terrified that more homicidal teenagers in garish outfits will show up and kill them if they don’t behave

My Girlfriend: A reasonable fear given how blasé these two are about doing a Time Murder

The two flee the scene because, as Mal notes, it looks like he’s going to be forced into a Prehistoric Shotgun Wedding with the cave woman who had the hots for him

Me: “Taking an innocent life is one thing but marriage!?

THAT’S TOO SCARY FOR ME”

My Girlfriend: RUN FAST WALLY

FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF COMMITMENT

Me: He can’t have a Cave Wife and her Cave Children putting a cramp on his Swinging Bachelor Lifestyle

Back in the Bizarre Present Day that this story started in, Wally comes to the conclusion that their Historical Homicide is the reason the world has changed so much

“That caveman must have been historically important!

Because he died the world developed differently!”

Me: So just so we’re clear

Some nameless Neanderthal drops off a cliff a few days earlier than he probably would have anyway thanks to Bill and Ted here

And that results in a world of MAGIC CASTLES AND ACTUAL DRAGONS

My Girlfriend: Why do I have the horrible feeling that this is the comic that the Heroes season three writers read

To come up with ideas for their time travel plot

Me: It’s the Even Worse Sibling of the Butterfly Effect…the CAVEMAN EFFECT

Step on a butterfly in the past get chaos in the present

Knock a caveman off a cliff in the past GET DRAGONS

My Girlfriend: I guess that caveman’s descendants went on to invent…dragon…proofing?

Me: And housing that has indoor plumbing and that isn’t a fuckin castle

My Girlfriend: SOUNDS LEGITIMATE

Wally resolves that they need to go back in time and save that caveman but notes he can’t meet himself in the past or he’ll be destroyed…noting that he needs to get there just in time to hit the moment “Right on the old tick tock!”

My Girlfriend: If he’s going to be saying things like that him being destroyed doesn’t sound like a bad idea

Me: DON’T BE MEAN

Me: If by “A long shot” you mean “The most absurd plot contrivance in a story that already had a man just wander into a time portal and then had a teenage empath somehow be able to peer through time and space to locate him”

Then yes

A LONG SHOT

My Girlfriend: “Those sorcerers!

They could be scientists!”

He’s basing this on…what exactly?

Me: To be fair the Flash and Kid Flash have encountered a LOT of people who claimed to have magical powers but were actually just mad scientists

I’m more concerned why Mal thinks they should “Take it slow”

My Girlfriend: “I mean all we did was BREAK HISTORY

No need to go running off in a big old hurry

Let’s gently ramble our way through the Cursed Woodland of this Hellish Dimension”

Me: “I don’t see why we should rush ourselves just because we shattered reality to pieces like a cheap wine glass”

Me: Unfortunately for them this Spooky Old Castle has a strict “Keep out Meddling Kids” policy

The owners have had some bad experiences in the past

It’s a whole thing

My Girlfriend: “People who say “Jinkies” will be Shot On Sight”

Me: Also get ready for the Shock of a Lifetime

The writer giving Mal such amazingly believable dialogue here

Is a white guy

My Girlfriend: I AM AMAZED

I never would have guessed that

In a million years

As the two approach the castle Mal questions whether it’s real or if they’re imagining it…to which Wally responds that “Real castles have real moats!”

Me: That

Does not begin to answer his actual question but okay sure

My Girlfriend: “If we’re imagining this castle then the moat won’t be real!

QUICK

LET’S JUMP IN THERE AND SEE IF WE DROWN”

Me: A SENSIBLE TEST

Real or not the moat is full of ACTUAL MONSTERS

Which leads us to…oh jesus…THIS            

My Girlfriend: Had the person who wrote this story ever actually MET a black man before writing it

Me: He thinks that people say things like “Figures Flasher! That stone freak house is giving off vibes of its own!”

HAD HE EVER MET ANOTHER HUMAN BEING

My Girlfriend: This comic makes me miss the naturalistic and coherent dialogue and plotting of The Room

Wally notes that “Nothing’s straight in this weird world!”

Me: Given that he started the comic cradling Mal in his arms and now wants to do some “Super Duper Vibrating” with him I’d suggest that Wally is the least straight thing in this world

My Girlfriend: “Nothing’s straight in this weird world…LEAST OF ALL ME”

Mal suggests they pole vault over the castle walls leading Wally to question what a “Ghetto Kid” knows about pole vaulting

My Girlfriend: “I know even more about it than you know about How To Be an Ignorant Asshole since you asked”

Me: Then again the writer thinks that the answer to that question should be that Mal used to use them to “Run away from rival gangs” so

Let’s not judge Wally too harshly for how he’s being written in this abysmal story

LET’S JUDGE THE WRITER INSTEAD

My Girlfriend: I’ve been judging the writer since the moment they had Mal and Wally murder a man because a cavewoman wanted to yabba dabba do one of them

My Girlfriend: I don’t know who this Robed Weirdo is but after reading that dialogue his reaction seems entirely understandable

Me: He’s as desperate to put an end to this scene as we are for it to be over

My Girlfriend: He’s not going to let this abysmal writing go on one second longer if he can help it

Me: Unfortunately not even he is powerful enough to save us from more “Gems” from the stories writer like “Have I gone white with fear” and “What do “Ghetto kids” know about pole vaulting”

My Girlfriend: THERE IS NO GOD

Me: Seriously can the plot please just go back to being about our “Heroes” murdering cavemen

The two make it across, though not before Wally lets out a startled “OUR POLES…BEING ZAPPED!”

Me: Are we just done with Phrasing?

And they find themselves on the castle walls with the monsters vanished…with Mal concluding that the “Monsters” were actually manifestations of their fears they needed to get past

Me: After that little comment he made earlier I think the real monster Wally needs to get past is PREJUDICE

My Girlfriend: And you can’t just pole vault over that one

Me: Not literally anyway

The two are confronted by the robed figure who is revealed to be…the teams mentor Mr Jupiter!

Or rather “Jupiterus” the version of him that exists in this world

My Girlfriend: Sure is a CRAZY COINCIDENCE

That of all the four or five billion people in this world they COULD have met

They just happen to run into the parallel world version of their friend and mentor

Me: Are you suggesting that this stories plot is in any way contrived or unrealistic?

My Girlfriend: Your right I’m sorry

I don’t know what I was thinking

“You have gained entry into the castle!

The first part of the game is over!

DARE YOU PLAY THE NEXT?!”

Me: Oh snap

They’re not in a parallel world

THEY’RE ON THE SET OF THE CRYSTAL MAZE

My Girlfriend: I KNEW IT

“Jupiterus” proceeds to introduce Wally and Mal to…

Me: “BEHOLD MY NOBLE KNIGHST OF TABLE ROUND

THE KNIGHT OF THE BAT

THE DUKE OF THE GALAXIES

THE LORD OF THE LIGHTNING!

AND THE MAN WEARING A DEAD PIG ON HIS HEAD”

My Girlfriend: “I must apologise for the Thane of the Bow

He is an idiot

The other knights and I have purposefully trained him wrong

As a joke”

Me: I’d question why he’s literally wearing a target on his chest but my life involved running around in a Dead Pig Hat all day I’d want someone to just put me out of misery as well

My Girlfriend: FAIR

Me: Now I’m sure you all might think “Okay the dialogue in this issue can’t get any worse than “Love your white soul, brother Titan!” right?”

Cherish that ignorance for the next few fleeting seconds

My Girlfriend: I do not like

ANYTHING

About what he just said

Or how he said it

Or the face he is making while he said it

Me: I SHARE YOUR HATRED FOR LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PANEL

My Girlfriend: I know this comic came out in a different time

But I really fail to believe there was ever a time in human history

Where a weird old man in a robe

Saying THIS

Wasn’t creepy

Me: A weird old man addressing a gathering that includes a guy in a Dead Pig Hat

My Girlfriend:  The Thane of the Bow’s questionable fashion choices are the least of our worries right now babe

Me: I DISAGREE

Jupiterus’s gathering of goons angrily demands “THE TEST!

THE TEST!”

With one of them declaring “THE TEST SEPERATES THE MEN FROM THE BOYS!”

My Girlfriend: After that little “Should they earn it so hard” line I feel like the men in this castle NEED to be separated from the boys

Me: “The test seperates the men from the boys!

The test and that restraining order we got slapped with that means we couldn’t build this castle within five hundred yards of a school”

Mal and Wally who are both probably just going along with this because at this point they figure they’ll have to wake up from this Strange Dream any time now agree to the Test…and Jupiterus summons their “Testers”…namely Lilith and Roy Harper!

My Girlfriend: Roy Harper?

So I guess we know it’s not a DRUG test that he’s going to be trying to pass

Me: TOO SOON BABE

Wally initially thinks it’s their old friends as they remember them but then Lilith declares “Not another step varlet! Or chastisement with these, my hands…is yours to the death!”

My Girlfriend: Did

Did Lilith just literally say “YOUR GOING TO CATCH THESE HANDS” to Wally here

Me: “YOU  SHALT RECEIVE MY BARE KNUCKLES THOU KNAVE”

My Girlfriend: NO

Me: “Verily I doth pray thee join me in the chasm”

My Girlfriend: STOP AT ONCE                      

Mal takes exception to Not! Roy and Not! Lilith’s attitude…

Me: “COOL IT HARPER OR YOU’LL GET A KNUCKLE SUPPER”

My Girlfriend: The part of Mal Duncan will now be played by Dean Learner

Jupiterus insists they proceed with “The test” which in this case involves them having to shoot an arrow through the keyhole of a door…leading Mal to note that if Roy “Shoots as good as he looks” then he and Wally don’t stand a chance

Me: Wally really was onto something about nothing being straight around here

My Girlfriend: Somewhere out there is probably at least one Teen Titans fan

Who found themselves with a new pairing to ship thanks to this panel

Me: If so then at least one good thing came from this story

My Girlfriend: Not sure if makes up for the last three pages of “Like the old honky saying goes” and “Should they gain it easily…or earn it so hard?”

But

Yes at least something good may have come of this Abomination of  a Story

Wally “Reassures” Mal with the following

“Remember how in Alice in Wonderland nothing made sense…and yet made the most sense?

Well that’s us!

Titans in Wonderland!”

My Girlfriend: How exactly is that Word Salad meant to make Mal feel better?

Me: Don’t look now Roy

But I think Wally has been at your “Stash”

My Girlfriend: “Don’t worry Mal!

I smoked one of those funny smelling cigarettes Roy had in his pocket when he wasn’t looking

And suddenly I’m feeling WAY less stressed about this whole situation”

Me: LOGIC AND PHYSICS SIT IN A CORNER, HOLDING EACH OTHER AND WEEPING

AFTER WHAT WE JUST WITNESSED

My Girlfriend: leaving aside how utterly impossible

Even by the standards of superhero comics

What we just saw is

The narration in that third and fourth panel reads like it was written by EL James

Me: You could basically transplant it word for word into harlequin romance novel and it would not look out of place

My Girlfriend: Do I want to know what’s behind the door?

Me: OH YOU’LL FIND OUT

I’M GOING TO SUMMON IT

Me: Fun Fact: I’ve heard that in the silver age, covers would often be completed with no input from the books Actual Writer and they then had to go ahead and base their story on what was happening on said cover

So just

Imagine the books writers reaction here

My Girlfriend: “Okay we need twenty two pages about Lilith being menaced by a SKELETON CAVEMAN by Wednesday”

Me: That’s either the best or the worst assignment ever

After a page that’s basically a recap of last issues cliffhanger we are “Treated” to the reveal of what lurks behind the door

Me: HE RECOGNISES THE CLUB

HE RECOGNISES

THE CLUB

My Girlfriend: “I’D KNOW THAT CLUB AND GUNMANS WALK”

Is both the best and worst thing I’ve read since we started subjecting ourselves to this story

Me: What the hell does that sentence even mean?

My Girlfriend: I think it means that the writer of this story kept a bottle of scotch in his desk drawer at all times

Me: Given that our heroes are currently trapped between the threat of a Skeleton Caveman Ghost and a man in a Dead Pig Hat threatening to “Notch a killing shaft” I am hardpressed to argue

Me: Wally and Mal can’t wait to get back to their own world where things make sense

Living in a giant T shaped tower

With a psychic

An atlantean prince

A woman made from Magic Clay

And a weird old man who builds time machines in his spare time

My Girlfriend: They know it must sound dull and mundane but they just crave such normalcy in their lives

Me: I also love how somehow Mal deduced that the ghost they were seeing was thanks to EVIL BRAINWAVES coming from Cerebella and that stealing a knights helmet would Magically Block Them

And that

Against all reason

HE WAS RIGHT

As the two gaze in Jupiterus’s mystical pool, they see the events of their ill-fated trip through time…

Me: “BEHOLD

YE OLDE MYSTICAL RECAP PAGE”

My Girlfriend: “And that’s what you missed, on Teen Titans”

Kid Flash also notes that he and Mal “Didn’t mean to harm” the caveman

Me: They didn’t mean to harm him

Apart from the bit where Mal was trying to cave his head in with a stick

My Girlfriend: A little head trauma is nothing to worry about

These two get hit on the head all the time and they’re doing fine, right?

Me: MMMMMMMMMMMM

Me: I think the writer of this story was on some kind of “Crystal” when they were coming up with this plot personally

My Girlfriend: “IF YOU ASK ME YOUR ALL ON SOME KIND OF MAGIC ROCKS”

My Girlfriend: Living in a tower with Roy Harper, Wally is used to ingesting things that make him see prehistoric cavemen appear before his eyes

Me: “The journey to the past will last only as long as the crystals in your mouths”

WHAT KIND OF WILLY WONKA BULLSHIT

My Girlfriend: This is not how time travel works

THIS IS NOT HOW FOOD WORKS

This is not how ANYTHING works

Me: “This Magical Time Travel Candy will teleport you through the centuries…until its dissolved at which point who knows”

My Girlfriend: “Um…I swallowed mine

Is that

Is that okay?”

Me: “Uhhhhhhh…..of course

On an unrelated note how attached are you to your limbs?”

My Girlfriend: “…Very?”

Me: “Not for much longer…”

With the aid of Candy Assisted Time Travel, the two manage to avert their mistake

Me: Well done you two!

YOU MANAGED NOT TO MURDER ANYONE THIS TIME

And soon their nyooming back to the future

My Girlfriend: This also means they erased an entire reality from existence

Me: Not to worry I’m sure it still exists somewhere in the Multiverse

To one day be revisited probably by Grant Morrison

My Girlfriend: I’m so glad Jupiterus and his castle of weirdoes are safe

I am NOT GLAD however that Mr Jupiter’s wards apparently call him “Big Daddy”

Me: I AM NOT AT ALL GLAD ABOUT THAT EITHER

My Girlfriend: From the look on Donna and Lilith’s face they have some Concerns right now too

But no what their actually freaked out about is the fact…THAT THE CAVEMAN FOLLOWED THEM TO THE PRESENT

My Girlfriend: HOLD THE PHONE HERE

Killing the caveman changed history because he didn’t live to affect time however he was supposed to in his own timeline

So that means

THAT BRINGING HIM TO THE FUTURE WOULD HAVE THE EXACT SAME EFFECT

Me: Your not wrong

I mean

Whether he’s splattered over the bottom of a cliff or hanging out in Titans Tower

He’s still not where he’s supposed to be

And he’s still not going to do what history SAYS he was supposed to do

My Girlfriend: So why the hell is the present back to normal

What happened to the castles

What happened to the wizards

Me: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY IN A DEAD PIG HAT

My Girlfriend: NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE

However the team have no time to debate the randomness of what changes it is and isn’t okay to make to the timeline because the caveman is busy trying to murder all of them, with Wally declaring he’s “Going for my neck…like an animal!”

My Girlfriend: “It’s almost like we showed up in his home, stole his Cave Wife and then beat the crap out of him with sticks!”

Me: But why would a little thing like THAT bother him

Luckily Speedy the Boy Bowman heroically comes to the rescue…by…

Me: WELL JESUS

I SURE HOPE HE’S NEVER HIT ANYTHING THAT HARD BEFORE

My Girlfriend: “We’ve got an entire team with superpowers that could non-lethally take him down

GUESS I’D BETTER SMASH THE BACK OF HIS SKULL IN WITH A WRENCH”

Me: This team has fought Actual Magicians and triumphed but against an ordinary caveman apparently nearly killing the poor guy with maintenance tools is the only answer

My Girlfriend: Still by some miracle they didn’t murder him

Which is a relief because if they had we’d be right back where we started

Me: You know you want more of Jupiterus

Mr Jupiter wants to know why exactly an extra from 100BC is currently on the floor of his home suffering severe brain damage and since the comic already had two recap pages we mercifully skip to AFTER Wally has explained what happened during his and Mal’s journey

“Fantastic story!” Mr Jupiter declares

Me: BOY IS HE EASILY IMPRESSED

My Girlfriend: I don’t feel like MOST people would agree with his opinion on the tale Wally just weaved

Me: it’s a charitable opinion at best

Jupiter declares that he can’t send the caveman back to his own time because he’s decided it’s “Too risky” to “Fool around with time”

Me: “It’s risky to mess with the timeline!

So we should trap this caveman here in the present day instead of sending him back to his home and own time!”

My Girlfriend: Which again

IS HOW THIS WHOLE NONSENSE BEGAN

The caveman no longer being alive in his own time

Me: “We can’t risk changing history

SO LET’S CHANGE HISTORY”

Jupiter declares that they will imprison the caveman in “This cage for apes whose behaviour I’ve been studying”

Me: Actually that’s where he imprisons Roy during especially bad trips

My Girlfriend: He can’t bear the thought of any more dead cats

Me: You do realise that’s not how adoption works right

My Girlfriend: “Since you abducted him that makes him your responsibility now!”

Me: “I’d help but clearly this is no kind of job for a super scientist with access to fantastical technology

This is a job for TEENAGERS IN COSTUMES”

My Girlfriend: Can’t they just do the whole “Pretend a sack of flour is a baby” thing instead?

Me: “We’ve already nearly killed him three times in the last day

But sure

Who better qualified than us to handle this task?”

My Girlfriend: “But only if we get a certain party to help”

And so begins the first ever crossover between the Teen Titans and the Babysitters Club

Me: I think that might actually make more sense than what happens in this story

But no the “Certain party” is in fact Robin the Boy Wonder, who prepares a lesson plan for the caveman

My Girlfriend: When I think about who I would trust to teach someone how to become a responsible adult

A teenager in a domino mask and green short shorts

Whose dad lives in a cave and dresses like a bat

Is the LAST PERSON ON EARTH I would call for help

Robin gets to work right away, first determining that the caveman is about seventeen years old

Me: By a WILD COINCIDENCE the caveman is ALSO a teen just like them

My Girlfriend: A TEEENAGE CAVEMAN IF YOU WILL

Me: Who will go on to star in a certain famous film that will end up on MST3K…

STARCRASH

My Girlfriend: of course

What other film would he have starred in

Robin also inquires about the Cave Teen’s name and…                       

Me: When I want to earn someone’s trust I always start by  fracturing their skull with a wrench and then locking them in a cage

But I always forget the bit about drugging them into unconciousness with powerful and dangerous tranquilisers!

My Girlfriend: THAT’S where you’ve been going wrong all these years

Me: I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FOOL

My Girlfriend: Luckily the keen mind of Robin the Boy Wonder is here to show us how it’s done

They then proceed to cut Gnarrk’s hair while he sleeps with Lilith rapturously declaring that he’s “Like some sleeping young god…waiting for the awakening of a new age…his own age of aquarius!”

My Girlfriend: “Lilith

Where did you get that brownie?”

Me: “Oh this?

I found a bunch of them in Roy’s room

I’ve already eaten like four”

My Girlfriend: “I thought so”

However when Gnarrk awakens it’s not to the Dawning of the Age of Aquarius…but rather to INTENSE DISTRESS about his new hairdo as he shatters a mirror and grabs Lilith’s arm!

“He’s got Lilith!

GRAB THE TRANQULISER GUN!”

“No time!

HE COULD SNAP HER NECK IN A SECOND”

Me: “LET’S JUST STAND HERE AND TALK ABOUT IT!”

My Girlfriend: “QUICK!

SOMEONE PASS ME A WRENCH

I’LL SORT THIS OUT”

Me: Way to generalise ALL CAVEMEN AS BEING THE SAME there Roy

My Girlfriend: NOT ALL CAVEMEN

Me: STOP BEING SUCH A CAVEMAN RACIST

My Girlfriend: That’s not a thing

Me: A CAVEIST

My Girlfriend: NO

Also

We saw one of the women of his tribe and she had the EXACT SAME HAIR LENGTH as he did

So what the hell is this “Without long hair I will be WEAK LIKE A WOMAN” nonsense

Me: Never mind that why the hell is the NEANDERTHAL sexist

My Girlfriend: It’s depressing to think that even the club dragging cave people have somehow developed misogyny before they developed the wheel

Robin decides that they can’t just rely on Lilith’s telepathy to communicate with him and that they need to teach Gnarrk language

We cut to a panel of him listening to a cassette tape

“What gimmick are you using on our baby, Robin?” Lilith inquires

Me: Lilith your getting way too attached

Your going to be heartbroken when he moves out to go to Cave College and learn a Cave Skill so he can get a Cave Job

Robin declares that he’s using “Subliminal learning” to “Cram a college education into a human brain while he sleeps”

My Girlfriend: “Is there a reason this “College Education” is just your voice repeating the words “Kill Bruce Wayne, we’ll split the inheritance money and flee to Acapulco” over and over again?

Me: Apparently trying to cram years worth of human knowledge into a brain that hasn’t even worked out what a wheel is didn’t end as well as they hoped

My Girlfriend: Speaking of bad ideas

THAT LAST PANEL IS TROUBLING

Me: “There There Gnarrk

Just nestle your head close beside your mother figures chest

While she strokes your hair

Lilith is here…”

My Girlfriend: This is going to get weird isn’t it

Me: Get?

My Girlfriend: Okay let me rephrase

This is going to get WEIRDER isn’t it

Me: Put it this way…have you ever watched Bates Motel?

As Lilith sets out to teach Gnarrk things like her name, how to pronounce certain words, her favourite flowers, her turn ons and turn offs, what time of day the two of them have the tower to themselves…(I may have made those last three up) the team decides to take Gnarrk out

“Steady team!” Robin cautions

“To others he may just look like a musclebound hippie…but we know he’s DYNAMITE!”

Me: HE’S A MEAN MOTHERFUCKER AND HE’S SUPER BAD

My Girlfriend: CAVE DYNAMITE AND HIS CREW

ARE GONNA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO

CLEANIN’ UP THE STREETS

My Girlfriend: They didn’t think to maybe teach him what a CAR is before taking him out

IN A DENSELY POPULATED CITY

Full of THOUSANDS of the things?

Me: It’s almost like taking him on a field trip when he barely knows how to say two words and thinks that a haircut will rob him of his power was a BAD idea

My Girlfriend: It’s almost like this whole story was a bad idea

My Girlfriend: THAT’S his reaction to someone obliterating his car with their bare fists?

I know the DCU is pretty fuckin weird but still you’d think he’d be a little more startled

Me: “You kids today!

With your bell bottom pants and long hair music and superhuman strength that lets you punch gaping holes in vehicles destroying them utterly”

My Girlfriend: Good to know Robin always carries money around with him to pay for the property damage his team causes though

Me: He has to carry cash

He’s not yet old enough to qualify for a Bat Credit Card

Unfortunately despite Lilith trying to explain to Gnarrk that no, the car doesn’t want to eat him, he freaks the eff out and flees forcing the Titans to begin a city wide search that turns up…NOTHING

Me: Apparently the worlds greatest detective can’t possible find an eight fool tall Neanderthal with fists like sledgehammers

Despite having a best friend who can search the entire city in about eight seconds

My Girlfriend: This is why you got replaced with Jason Todd, Dick

However Lilith hits upon the idea to use her telepathy to find him

Me: WHY WASN’T THAT THEIR FIRST IDEA

My Girlfriend: Last issue it let her find people who’d TRAVELLED BACK IN TIME

Why is this not their first and ONLY idea

My Girlfriend: Oh it shows he’s developing SOMETHING alright

Me: She is literally spoon feeding him ice cream as he sobs

I don’t want to know what was going on in the writers head at this point

My Girlfriend: Meanwhile Mal Duncan continues his ceaseless quest to have the Worst Dialogue in this Comic

Me: And that takes some doing

So what is Gnarrk showing Lilith?

Me: He’s turned to increasingly immoral means of making cash ever since Amazon forced his toy factory out of business

My Girlfriend: He’ll give his customers a white Christmas…except the “Snow” he’s selling doesn’t fall from the sky

Me: THE HORRIFYING TRUTH BEHIND WHY RUDOLPH’S NOSE IS SO RED

My Girlfriend: YOU’RE A MEAN ONE

MR CLAUS

“SANTA CLAUS!

The mysterious BIG DADDY of all the GHETTO RACKETS!”

My Girlfriend: He’s got some nerve putting other people on the Naughty List when he’s flooding the streets with crack cocaine

Me: This is exactly why Mrs Claus left him

Robin hits upon the plan to use Gnarrk as a witness to finally put an end to Santa Claus Holly Jolly Drug Cartel but Kid Flash notes that there’s no way a court of law would take Gnarrk’s testimony seriously

Me: Oh like it’s any more ridiculous than the fact Gotham’s justice system convicts people based on the word of a Violent Furry

My Girlfriend: I think Wally has far too much faith in the idea he lives in a normal world

Me: THE TEEN TITANS ARE  DECLARING WAR

ON ANYONE WHO SELLS DRUGS TO THE COMMUNITY

My Girlfriend: A horrified Roy reacts with a startled “But Teen Titans…I sell DRUGS to the Community!”

Me: “Well be that as it may…”

My Girlfriend: Also how long was Mr Jupiter just

Lurking there

Watching Lilith spoon feed Gnarrk

Me: Let’s not ask questions we don’t want answers to

My Girlfriend: Sorry

Within LESS THAN A MONTH

They’ve managed to bring criminal charges against a US politician

Based on the testimony of a man who thinks that cars eat people and long hair gives you super strength

Me: The sad part is the least believable part of that

Is the US justice system actually punishing a politician for their wrongdoing based on ANY amount of evidence

However as Lilith takes Gnarrk for a stroll and possibly to purchase some Naughty Fred and Wilma Flintstone costumes from the local Anne Summers she muses that her ESP powers tell her that an oncoming truck means “Trouble!”

Me: “OH GOD GNARRK WAS RIGHT

THE VEHICLES DO WANT TO EAT US!”

My Girlfriend: “We’ve stumbled into a film adaptation of one of Stephen King’s short stories!

And not one of the good film adaptations!

EITHER OF THEM”

But no in actual fact the cause for Lilith’s alarm is…          

Me: “I mean

Just look what it did to Robin”

My Girlfriend: “Hey I think I turned out pretty okay”

Me: “Last week you woke up screaming the words “NOT THE KITE MAN! NOT THE KITE MAN!” over and over to yourself”

My Girlfriend: “Okay but..”

Me: “And then you fell back asleep to the sound of yourself screaming “Not the Kite Man”

My Girlfriend: Also

How does being able to read minds detect an explosive?

The bomb doesn’t have a brain

Me: OR DOES IT                

Me: “Mother complex”

Yes

That’s just what that first panel makes me think

How…MOTHERLY…Lilith looks there

My Girlfriend: On an unrelated note, Robin’s favourite famous psychologist is Freud

Me: You have to love how Robin apparently thinks that the team proving themselves to their Creepy Mentor Mr Jupiter is more important than keeping Gnarrk away from the people throwing high explosives at him

My Girlfriend: “LOOK TEAM

I know that hired assassins want to brutally murder Gnarrk

But if we back out of this now

MR JUPITER IS GOING TO BE DISSAPOINTED IN US

AND I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU

BUT I’LL RISK A BILLION INNOCENT LIVES BEFORE I LET THAT HAPPEN!”

So where are Lilith and Gnarrk?

And what are they up to?        

Me: SHE’S PART WITCH YOU KNOW

My Girlfriend: So

What does that actually MEAN

Are witches a species?

How exactly does someone become “Part Witch”

Me: Well, when a witch and a non-witch love each other very much…

“Your hand…so strong…yet so vulnerable…” Lilith softly coos as she strokes her fingers across Gnarrk’s (At this point probably very sweaty) palm

Me: Yes

The story

Is really going there

My Girlfriend: “Your hand…so strong…so vulnerable…

So making me Think Things”

Me: FIFTY SHADES OF CAVE-LOVE

“Don’t read Gnarrk’s hand…Lil-Uth…read…my brain! Want to tell you something…important!” Gnarrk declares

My Girlfriend: PLEASE NO

Me: It could be worse

It could be Carol and Marcus

My Girlfriend: Stop reminding me about Marcus

“When I am a full fledged man of your time…YOU SHALL BE BY WOMAN” Gnarrk thinks at Lilith

Me: Well

It’s not “We’ll always have Paris”

But it’s still more romantic than anything in Twillight

My Girlfriend: Does anyone on this team end up in a NORMAL relationship at any point in their lives?

Me: To be honest?

Apart from Dick and Kory, this is the second closest thing this team has to a normal relationship

However before the two of them can Shape of Water together the van comes under attack from armed goons!

Me: “I sure hope that I’m not setting myself up to be Dramatically Proved Wrong!”

My Girlfriend: “OH NO I WAS!”

Me: “THE IRONY!

THE CONTRIVED HAM FISTED IRONY!”

As Gnarrk demolishes the would be hitmen the rest of the Teen Titans are just…THERE suddenly and stand around watching

My Girlfriend: “Oh good!

We found them just in time to be completely and utterly ineffectual!”

Me: “And we found them thanks to….

…..

Robin

How DID we find them?”

My Girlfriend: “You got me…it really doesn’t make sense when you look at it…”

Me: “GNARRK NO!

IN OUR TIME YOU CAN’T JUST KILL PEOPLE

ONLY THE STATE IS ALLOWED TO DO THAT!”

My Girlfriend: “Don’t hurt him!

Give him to us

Then WE’LL hurt him!”

Me: Speedy already has a wrench ready to use on the guys skull

Gnarrk is convinced not to re-enact the 360 degree head twist scene from the Exorcist with this luckless gunmans skull and hands him over…at which point Lilith asks Robin how the heck he and the team found them

The answer?

Mr Jupiter IMPLANTED A TRACER UNDER GNARRK’S SKIN

My Girlfriend: First of all

WHAT THE FUCK

Me: Second of all

Why the HELL didn’t he tell the team that when they took Gnarrk out in the city and then promptly lost him

My Girlfriend: Third of all

WHAT THE FUCK

Me: “We want Gnarrk to feel like a real person

SO WE TAGGED HIM LIKE A WILD ANIMAL AND THEN HUNTED HIM TO THE WOODS”

My Girlfriend: I’m starting to see why only one member of this team managed to have anything approaching a normal life

So with what we’re going to have to make do with for excitement and peril in this story over with, we turn to the impending trial and…

My Girlfriend: This trial took a real turn when Gnarrk responded to this question by looking at one of the jurors and grunting “When I am a full fledged man of your time…YOU shall be my WOMAN”

Me: I love the judges face

Look at him

This is a man who probably spent years studying law

And now he’s presiding over a trial where the key witness thinks cars are people eating monsters and up until a month ago was just clubbing people over the head with a stick

My Girlfriend: “I should have become a doctor like my parents wanted…”

Me: J’ACCUSE

My Girlfriend: And that’s apparently all the evidence they need

Me: Who needs evidence when you’ve got a Neanderthal who can point accusingly!

Me: “He’s an APE MAN”

My Girlfriend: Ape Man

AHHHHHHHHH

Fighter of the Ape Boy

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Me: CHAMPION OF THE SUN

And so with what we will VERY charitably call “The plot” over and done with, what is the denouement of this tale?

Me: “If I told you about them, what would I say?

That they lived happily ever after?

I believe they did

That they were in love?

That they remained in love?

I’m sure that’s true…”

My Girlfriend: Until Heroes in Crisis

Me: Because Tom King hates happiness more than Joss Whedon

Final Thoughts

My Girlfriend: You know every time you get me to read these comics with you I tell myself “This is the most fucking Ludicrous Thing I Will Ever See with my Own Two Eyes”

And naively

After you made me read about the time the Teen Titans saved Christmas

I really did think I’d seen as surreal and nonsensical these comics could get

Me: Oh babe

This story is not even the tip of the iceberg

My Girlfriend: OH GOOD

Me: WE HAVE SUCH SIGHTS TO SHOW YOU

My Girlfriend: Stop that

I do have to ask

Did this story even HAVE a plot?

Me: It genuinely did not

Or rather it lurched from four separate plots

With no real coherent link between any of them besides the last two

My Girlfriend: One minute it’s about Mal and Wally going back in time

Then its about them trapped in some D&D future with Jupiterus…

Me: AND THE DEAD PIG HAT MAN

My Girlfriend: Then its about the Titans trying to civilise a caveman and then in the last five pages it decides to be about how a city councilman is a drug lord

Me: A DRUG LORD CALLED SANTA CLAUS

My Girlfriend: And somehow the testimony of a TIME TRAVELLING NEANDERTHAL got him convicted

Me: Just imagine being the poor reporter who had to cover this story

Desperately trying to keep a straight face the whole time

My Girlfriend: Oh and also Gnarrk and Lilith have some weird oedipal thing going on

Me: Well if they’re going to have women in the story of COURSE they have to include a romance with a guy in the plot

I mean

What ELSE would we be doing?

My Girlfriend: Your right how silly of me

Me: So any final thoughts?

My Girlfriend: When I am a full fledged man of your time…YOU SHALL BE MY WOMAN

Me: AMAZING

[the-canary]

Irreplaceable - B.B. (2/2)

Summary:  It’s not even about not noticing what’s in front of you. At this point, it was plain idiocy on both your parts. (Modern/Childhood AU!Reader/Bucky Barnes).

Prompt: “You know that feeling when you’re not your favourite person’s favourite person, and it kind of feels like you’re constantly swallowing sand?”  

A/N: This is for @writingcroissant 2k writing challenge. welcome to the mess part. 2 (at 7K), adding more cliches and a wedding + mutual pinning. i know how i feel about the ending and if ya’ll wanna see it -- let me know what you think. If ya don’t like angst, don’t read. 

Part 1 | Masterlist

Feedback is always welcomed.

Chapter Text

The years since leaving Shelbyville treated you as kindly as they can. You grow up a wallflower during the last year of high school -- there isn’t any smiling Sharon, quirky classmates, or the Barnes sisters to hang out with. There isn’t any James Barnes, but you’re too stubborn to let it go and as you start university it fades into the background. The new setting allows for a new you to bloom and as you made new friends while preparing yourself to take over the family business -- Shelbyville became a distant dream with the closest you got to being in Indianapolis whenever you went to meetings.

Sharon, happily married with kids, had caught you up on things wherever you meet in the city and you kept with the Barnes sisters in a sort of social media friends way. Rebecca was happily engaged to a man she had meet in university and was a successful teacher, Lizzie was doing her graduate program, and Millie was driving cross-country for her photography work. The only things you had heard of James were that he had joined the Army straight out of high school and worked based out of New York.

In making your peace with everything, you had forgiven and moved on a long time ago. You went on dates and had meaningful relationships, though that wasn’t happening recently due to the work that came with expanding the company into other countries -- the work was hard and it caused you long hours of travel. You sure you were fine with it--

“Oh, is this from the one that got away~?” Sam questions looking at the small beige envelope with your name written on it. You groan at the use of said song whenever it came to you and him talking about your past, particularly James. It was wasn’t often, but the man that dared called himself your best friend knew when to use it in exactly the right moment.

“No, it’s for his younger sister’s wedding,” you remark while looking at the beautifully written Rebecca and William at the center of the invitation. You had only met the man once or twice, but you could tell how deeply in love they were, it was almost a little envious. You take a drink of your beer, the rom-com in front of you long forgotten as you note that sparkle in Sam’s brown eyes.

“And are you going? She was a pretty good friend, no?” you glare at Sam as he takes seat next to you, playing that psychologist card he knew too well. You frown before throwing the couch pillow at him, after so many years as friends -- he knew you too well. Sam knew you weren’t planning on going.

“I don’t think I could handle seeing him again,” you admit, as Sam gets bit closer and throws his arm over your shoulder. That familiar sweet grin on his face telling you he had a devious plan in mind.

“And if you took someone with you?”

Indianapolis, Indiana.

The years for James Buchanan Barnes are a mixed bag with its highs and lows. He joins the military and serves for as long as he can, until his arm and half his hearing are gone. He takes twice as long trying to put himself back together, but he tries his hardest with the help of his friends and family. He figures out in the long run that it is probably better for him to stay in Shelbyville than go back to New York like his long term plan was. He goes to university through different methods until finally getting his degree in architecture and design, opening up a 2nd branch to his firm in Indianapolis, while Steve Rogers runs it in their old running ground. Hell, Bucky watches his best friend get married to the love of his life, though he struggles with the last part himself.

He just never thought that his younger sister would be getting married before him. However, aside from that problem, the wedding brought another issues at hand.

“The wedding invitations have been sent out, Jamie,” Rebecca explains one bright summer morning. Rebecca had enough time to meet with James now that school was out and before all the wedding stuff went into full gear. James didn’t know about what, but she seemed a bit apprehensive.

“That’s great, kid,” Bucky smiles at the glow Becca seems to have and he can’t help but feel proud of his little sister and how far she has come, though that thought quickly changes when he sees her frown.

“Here’s the thing though...I sent an invitation to her as well,” Becca explains, knowing all too well the story between them, “I just wanted to give you a heads up.”

That had been at the start of the summer and now only so close to the wedding was James finally starting to freak out. Yes, he had tried to go on dates and had some relationships peppered throughout the years he had last seen her, but somethings just never worked out. There were expectations and fears he now held that didn’t allow the old Bucky Barnes to shine through, James had gained and lost of a lot but he had come out a more matured man overall -- he understood a bit more of himself and what he wanted from the people around him. It led to a smaller group of friends, but those he knew had his back. Like the one sitting across from him right now.

“So, you want me to be your date?” Nat goes over his plan once again -- a habit from their Army days together, “So you won’t look like an lonely idiot in front of the love of your life?”

“Yeah,” is all he can manage to say before running a hand through his long hair in frustration. Nat being one of his old Army buddies knew the story too well, especially when he went and spilled the whole thing one drunk evening between their whole regiment. Later on (after they had finished their time serving their country), he had tried asking her on a date only for Nat to throw the forgotten tirade back in his face with a sharply pointed smile.

“And what if she’s just as lonely as you are, lover boy?” she grins, as Bucky just shakes his head. He had thought about it a million of times before: if she was still single, if he could just gain the courage and reach out to her. However, after everything had gone down and how he didn’t even take the time to explain everything to her, like he had done with his sisters and parents -- he deserved everything she had deprived him of.

“I doubt it,” James says with a hint of despair in his voice before chugging his beer. Natasha giving him a sardonic smile before agreeing, though she is sure this is a disaster in the making.

The home staring back at you hasn’t changed much, except for your mother switching the tulips in front for camellias, which makes you smile just a bit. Your mother screams from the front porch, as she sees you and Sam come out of the taxi, as she pulls the man into a big hug. You swore that your mother loved him more than you sometimes. Your father walks a bit slower, his age and health problems causing him to spend more time at home than at the company like he did when you were younger. Nevertheless, they are happy to see you.

“Sam, how have you been?” your mother smothers him like the son she never had, as he chuckles before declaring he has been doing well in his professional life, his romantic -- well that was another story. Your father pats you on the shoulder before asking what was always on his mind when he was saw or called you.

“How’s the expansion going?” he questions with bright eyes, proud but still forever worried about the company he built up and his only child leading it.

“I have a meeting in Mexico City in two weeks. You already know that, Pa!” you chuckle, as you grab both of your bags and begin to head inside. You look out of the corner of your eye and look at the old green Barnes’ house. For a brief moment, you wonder who would be in there besides George and Winnie Barnes before Sam pulls you by your waist into the home with a sympathetic smile.

The return to your childhood home had caused your parents to bring out the big guns when it comes to dinner -- BBQ on the grill in the shared backyard. They’ve added fairy lights to the back porch, as things from your childhood --like the swing on the tree-- look like they haven’t been used in a very long time. Sam, in curiosity and teasing, asks all the regular questions of an old house like yours, though mainly is it haunted, as you share a good laugh.

“This reminds me of,” Sam starts motions with his hand at the whole backyard, “Of that song those sorority girls would sing at karaoke nights.”

“Oh geez, you mean: Kiss me ~” you start off laughing and out of tune, as Sam soon joins in, “M e beneath the milky twilight. Lead me out on the moonlit floor.”

Your mother and father shake their heads, as they had seen your antics before with Sam whenever they meet-up with you, but they let this slip for now since they hadn’t seen you enjoy yourself in their home in a very long time. The impromptu singing turns into a dance with you laughing on Sam’s shoulder, neither of you aware of a certain light being lit up in the next house or the group of people coming over.

“Well, if it isn’t the whole family!” an older George Barnes yells, as you turn to see him and a couple of other people come out with him. It wasn’t a surprised that any party -no matter how small-- attracted the jovial man -- you just didn’t expect to being seeing the whole Barnes family on your first night back.

You father gets up and greets him with a giant hug, like they didn’t see each other everyday. Your mother looks at you hesitantly before going to talk to Winnie (as food starts to be handed out amongst everyone), as you notice two other people with the older Barnes children -- a redhead and a tall blond. Sam grabs you around the waist with a huge smile.

“Time to show you off, sweetheart,” San declares loudly only to have everyone look at him, as you groan in embarrassment before shoving him just a little.  

Once the two of you join the larger group, the younger Barnes sisters come up and welcome you, clearly missing you as they catch you up with everything you had missed from them, while also asking how you and Sam meet, and like a practiced tale --that isn’t really a complete lie-- you tell them in college through a very bad P.E class. You congratulate Rebecca and William on their upcoming nuptials, though you can’t help but think that she’s frowning just a bit at this turn of events. James and the mysterious redhead are a little bit harder to talk to since they seem to take to themselves only, though the two of you seem to orbit and avoid each other for the most of the night.

It isn’t until you start cleaning up the impromptu family event (thank god your mother always took out more than necessary) that you notice James standing a bit closer than you for a moment, as you see that Natasha, Sam, and William seem to be talking amongst themselves. You can’t help but shake your head at how Sam can just manage to make himself at home everywhere he went.    

“Hey,” you hear a voice as you look up from the table to see blue eyes and an awkward smile. Your heart isn’t doing the same crazy flips it did once, but there still stutters for a moment, “Been awhile.”

“It has been, James. But, I’ve heard you’ve been doing well,” you smile and try your hardest to stay professional, but you can’t help but notice that  the years have done him well what with that long hair and slight stubble. Blue eyes crinkle with silent laughter at the next part of your sentence, “Natasha and you sound happy together.

“Yeah, yeah. You and Sand--” he starts off.

“Sam,” you correct him.

“Yeah, he sounds like a great guy,” James says as you smile brighter than before because any compliment towards your best friend just makes you as happy as a clam, though you don’t take notice of the dimming blue eyes nor to the fact that his voice goes out towards the end of his sentence. But, of course you wouldn’t -- you didn’t know this version of James Barnes -- this echo of the summertimes you used to hold so dear.

“For all it’s worth,” you say picking up the stack of dishes on the table. You nod, trying to accept defeat and give him the forgiveness that said you did in the years apart, “It’s good seeing you again, James.”

“It’s good to see you too, doll,” he manages to say, though you can’t help but quirk an eyebrow at the odd nickname he has given you, but shrug it off as nothing more before heading inside. Sam stays a while longer talking to Nat and the others, but you just need to get out of there, and maybe Sam was right in asking if ghosts haunted your childhood home.

Not old ones, but yours and what never got to be.

You spend the next two days before the rehearsal dinner showing Sam around the Shelbyville and all the things you used to love about your hometown, which connected a lot with a younger James Barnes and at this point it lead to you and him (along with Natasha) crossing paths a lot, which was a little odd since you would think he would’ve had time to show her everything by now. You didn’t hate the woman, in fact you liked her from the small talks you had, though she was a bit on the quiet side, but she did seem to fit well to James’ natural charisma.

This had lead to you sitting rather close to each other in your favorite diner for milkshakes on a rather slow afternoon. The owner -Stan- watches the two “couples” for a good while before before shaking his head.

“These old eyes still don’t lie,” he can’t help but laugh to himself as he whips down the countertop, as he can’t help but notice a certain pair of blue eyes caught up in the way a certain face shines when a good joke is told, just like when they were kids.  

Rehearsal Dinner.

You can’t help but smile at the large room where Rebecca is having this dinner, remembering how she talked about this place when you were younger. You are happy for here for two seconds until you notice who you and Sam have to sit next to -- Natasha, though there is no James in sight for now. The woman reminds you of an old Hollywood beauty with her pinned back red hair, matching red lips, and long black skirt with white blouse ensemble. Sam sensing your distress pulls out the furthest seat from her for you, as you give him a shaky smile.

“So, how are you tonight?” Sam questions in a teasing tones as green eyes light up, as you sweep over all the tables in the room, certainly not searching, “Lonely? Abandoned?”  

“A little bit of both,” Nat states while taking a sip of her drink, “James got called by some old friends.”

You don’t say anything, but you can’t help but wonder who these old friends could be since James changed friends every semester in-between summer -- they weren’t lasting relationships, just momentary things that seemed glued together for the school year and it wasn’t on people’s fault for trying -- James just had a tendency of pushing people of away for a reason that you didn’t understand even now, though you experienced it every summer as well. There was only one person that you are aware of that had stayed longer in his life, besides his family, was someone you had never meet before.

Dinner moves forward with no sign of James anywhere, as Sam tries his best to play the awkward mediator without bringing up the common thing between the two woman in front of him. However, once the drinks start following a bit more, both you and Natasha seem to open up and laugh at old memories that Sam can’t help but laugh at too. You feel the need to go the bathroom and excuse yourself -- smiling and just a little bit happier than you had been since coming back home, but also calmly at ease over Natasha.

Everything was okay, you could live with this. Yet, your happy thoughts are dashed away as you bump into someone. A hand on your waist stops anything further from happening, as you get out of your hazy happiness to see bright blue eyes looking at you. There’s a timid smile on his face, though you can’t help but notice that blue eyes are glancing at your figure -- mostly because you are too as you appreciate the man in button-up white shirt with his sleeves rolled up and black slacks -- a perfect match to Natasha’s outfit.

“You okay, doll?” James smiles, partially due to how gorgeous you look in the flower print summer dress you are wearing, but mostly due to having you in his arms. You nod to his question before backing way and apologizing, however before he can say anything -- a blond man is coming up to him and yelling out his familiar nickname.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were with someone,” the blond states and the statement confuses for just a moment. Didn’t people know about Natasha?

“No, no,” James explains awkwardly, as the blonde keeps looking between the two of you because while he had removed his arm -- the two of you were still pretty close together. It’s a little awkward until finally James decides to introduce the two of you, and that’s when you meet the infamous Steve Rogers from Brooklyn.

“It’s good to finally meet you,” he returns the sentiment and you find yourself talking to Steve about everything and anything, he just seems to have that aura around him. Hell, you even find out you have meet his wife at least twice due to the work that she does. You laugh completely caught up in his airport story to notice James looking at you mesmerized about something that should have happened years ago. However, as the stories comes to a close, you quickly realize why you got up, so you begin to excuse yourself.  

“I should let you guys catch up,” you smile and start to walk away, ignoring the fact that James looks like he is trying to say something, “It was good to finally meet you, Steve.”

Steve returns the sentiment as you excuse yourself and finally head to the bathroom. A million questions are running through your head, though you can’t help but feel a little good about finally putting a face to the legendary “Steve Rogers”. You remember fighting with James all the time over him leaving you for New York for a kid that you never meet. What did Steve Rogers have that you didn’t? What did he know about Bucky?

You understood it a bit more now, but that didn’t stop the jealousy from burning just a little in the pit of your stomach, as you walked back to your table. James still isn’t there, but you can’t help but notice that Sam is alone and for once completely still.

“Sam, you okay?” you asks a bit worried at your friend’s lovestruck face. You push his shoulder lightly for a moment, unaware of a certain redhead walking away. Sam shakes out of his stupor and gives you a wide smile.

“Yeah, let’s go get some dessert. I’m starving,” he grins, as he gets up and pushes you towards the buffet table. You shrug and follow on his instance, unaware of two pairs of blue eyes watching you as Steve can’t help but reprimand his best friend once everything is said and done.

Bachelorette Party.

As a sort of close friend of Rebecca’s, you end up going to her bachelorette party though not knowing the rest of her bridesmaids outside of her sisters, you end up at the edge of the fancy bar -- though you aren’t the only one. Natasha is your companion. She feels you looking at her and she turns, small smile and bright green eyes as she simply raises her drink before drinking it in one go. You wonder if James had a thing for redheads: the girl from that one Halloween party, Dot, and now Natasha -- he did seem to have a certain type, but it could be said simply being a “woman” meant you were made for the Bucky Barnes.

Hell, everyone except you, and it that poisoning thought that leads you to drinking a bit more and faster than before. Thank god, Nat is there watching over you and finally took the 6th shot from your hand. You stare at the countertop as she hands the drink to the bartender, most of the other woman ignoring you, as she tells you to stop.

“Hey, you okay?” she asks awkwardly and you can’t help but let out a laugh. You can tell she isn’t used to doing stuff like this, but it’s a nice thought that she is trying.

“I can see why he likes you,” you say, more somber and sober than she thought you would be, though she is quick to pick up on who you are talking about, “What do you do exactly, Natasha?”

“Private contractor,” is all she says and you can’t help but wonder if she had known James from his time in the Army -- she knew sides of him that you had only dreamt of. You wonder if the alcohol is finally starting to get to her when you ask her, unfiltered, how they met and just about anything else that comes to mind. There are tears in your eyes over all the stories she tells you right then and there, though you aren’t sure if it’s because they are so hilarious or because of what is all means.

Natasha ends up asking you about Sam and there’s where your filter goes flying. You laugh and tell her of all the crazy and sweet things that you have lived through with the man since meeting him in that one disastrous frat requirement party. For a moment, you wonder how enthralled she is by these old stories, but before you can get inside her shell -- she decides to crawl like a little black spider into yours.  

“So, how long have you been in love with James?” she asks, you’re too drunk  and filled of nostalgia to remember that it’s Natasha asking, the one person that you shouldn’t been telling all this to. However, you had always been a tell-all sort of drunk -- one of the things that Sam enjoyed the most out of your friendship-- and maybe through all your discussions of the night, Nat had figured that out.

“Since I was 14,” you manage to say as you play with the bottom of your ear shell. Green eyes watching your every move, “He was going to go to some Halloween party dressed up as Raggedy Andy with some girl he had started seeing. But, me -- I was sick as hell and didn’t go. In and out of sleep, I thought I was dreaming seeing him the entire time, my mom told he had been there keeping watch since my parents had left. I don’t know if he knows…”       

You’re looking at your hands, unaware of Nat’s softening look: “I thought, what if he liked me just like this everyday? Not just in the summer, it took me some more time but I was surely in love by then.”

“I feel like there’s a but,” Natasha can’t help but frown, thinking about how much of a playboy the old Bucky used to be, so much different from the one she had worked with. She wondered if the both of you knew how exactly you had ruined each other for anyone else.

“He was with that girl the next day,” you explain, slightly bitter towards the end, “Then, I realized that he would never look at me that way. But, I’m happy he’s with you.”

Nat mirrors your smile for a moment before she orders herself another drink. She wonders for the rest of the night, after carrying your sleeping self back to your home, how she got stuck with such fools.

Bachelor Party.

It’s a whole different game for Sam, who as a stranger in this whole affair doesn’t think he will get invited to anything besides when you take him somewhere, thus he simply gets ready for bed in one of your family’s guest bedrooms (he’ll never tell you he got lost for a good 20 minutes) until there is knock at the door. Your mother answers, only for a gruff but excited voice to call out his name and at that moment he’s knows he is being called out. He can’t help but shake his head in laughter,  you told him that “Bucky” used to do this all the time with other boys over a girl he liked. However, he can’t help but wonder if this was about what exactly James Barnes felt for you, since he had been picking up on things here and there since coming into Indiana.

It surely wouldn’t be the first time you failed to notice someone’s affections towards you.

Steve, poor sweet Steve, ended up in the middle of a silently seething Bucky and humoring Sam as the 3 them ended up in a local bar, far from the bachelor party that was happening a few doors down. James said nothing for the most part, as Steve found himself connecting with Sam over their love for Marvin Gaye and the Temptations, as well as the old Rocky movies. Sam was a good man, from what Steve could tell as he worked in the VA centers back in Los Angeles as a counselor after his own time in the Air Force. Steve could tell that eventually they could all get along, if there weren’t the childish attitude Bucky was acting on right now. Steve could only shake his head at all this, a little worried about leaving these twoo alone when he had to leave to go to the bathroom.    

"Ah, she said you would do this," Sam remarks offhandedly, not to be completely mean but to see what he could get out of James Barnes -- what emotions did he have towards his dear friend after so many years.

"What exactly?" Bucky answers back, taking another sip of his drink. The more he drinks, the more somber and reflective he seems to get, always had.

"Try to be the ' big dog '. Acting like you’re 15 years old,” Sam laughs a little, remembering all the stories you told him of the infamous James Barnes, his need for attention, and his ever-changing imagery. Bucky Barnes could have been an actor with all his charm and acting ability, was something you had told him once. However, all Sam saw and understood from what he had pieced together was that James Buchanan Barnes was a successful man, but he was still haunted --more than most-- by mistakes that Sam would probably never understand -- you being just the tip of the iceberg.

“I didn’t think she knew about that,” Bucky remarks with a surprise in his tone of voice, as he wonders for a brief moment what else you had seen from your place in the background -- all the regrets and mistakes that he had made in his youth had been laid out in front of you and he probably didn’t even know. And even then, you still allowed him to come back -- to give him a sunny reprieve to all he wanted to hide away from the world.

It wasn’t until it was too late that he figured out how he had taken it all for granted.  

“You obviously didn’t know she’s hella observant,” Sam answers before adding an afterthought, “Guess that was something you never noticed.”

“Yeah,” Bucky finally gives in to all of Sam’s push back, as brown eyes watch him like a hawk, “She’s always been too good for me, ya know? I did stupid shit and hung out with the wrong crowds, but she was always there waiting for me.”

Sam pauses taking sip of his beer, as James puts his own up: “But, I am glad she has someone to call her own and protect her.”

Sam pulls his own drink up, as Steve comes back glad that they didn’t kill each other, with a clear assessment of what is going on and what he is going to have to do next -- for both your happiness.

Wedding.

You always got a certain way during weddings. You knew this, Sam knew this.

The declaration of love in front of you with a smiling bride and handsome groom seem to give you hives. Your nose got itchy and there were goosebumps all over your body. The short sleeves and lace of your dress hung to you like a second skin, as your eyes just got a little red and puffy.

You didn’t know why this happen, but it always did -- in Sharon’s wedding and every other employee wedding that you had gone to since. You had always dealt with it alone, sitting near the back and trying to stay as quiet as you could -- a fever or cold following the wedding so afterwards with Sam sometimes dealing with the aftermath or hearing stories about it.

Right now, he is dealing with it with your forehead on his shoulder as a cold sweat makes it way through your body, as you move the napkin to wipe away the tears forming in the corners of your eyes. To anyone else, it just looks like you were crying over a beautiful wedding, and it does look like that to James and Natasha -- as blue eyes turn to look a few rows back.

“You should calm down ,” Nat repeats and pats his right hand, while his left hand has completely crushed the pamphlet that was passed out in the beginning. James takes a steady breathe to calm himself down as Nat shakes her head.

She glances back for a moment, green meeting with warm brown -- if only the other knew, like their best friend did.

Reception.

You’re feeling a bit better, but not enough to be dancing around over and over again. So, you listen to the music and watch as the couples take to center stage. It wasn’t their first dance together that was saved for the song that played on their first date, but something felt more magical about this song . The voice reminded you of lost summers and promises you had made to yourself as a child, of who you wanted by your side for the rest of this long adventure, but somehow it hadn’t happened. You glance to the side and see Sam dancing with Natasha and while you can’t help but think it’s a little strange how close they are, the way the lights gleamed on them made your heart stutter.

All this love and emotion on display starts to get your stomach acting up once more and you need to get out, but as the song keeps on playing the only person you had wanted to dance this type of waltz with suddenly appears in front of you. Blue eyes shining with worry as you lean on to the hallway wall.

“Doll, are you alright?” he questions softly, but it echoes to you as your head starts pounding. Your skin burns where his hand touches you and you want him to stop, to get as far away as you can from him -- for him to stop treating with this temporary kindness he’s only ever shown you, but your throat dries up when he leans your body into his.

“Let’s get you some water,” is all he can say, taking on full mother hen mode than you had only seen a few times here and there during the summer and when he worried about his sisters.  

You two walk a bit more, but your mind is too hazy to see immediately what it in front of you. Sam and Nat coming out of some room -- kissed out and all the signs of a classic makeout session on display. James seethes as he catches Sam’s surprised look before going straight to the man and trying to punch the daylights out of him. However, Nat had always been the quicker one of the two when it came to combat training and she knew what Bucky was going for, as he stops him midway, as you with a slightly clearer head try to stop him by grabbing his right hand.   

“James, stop, ” you plea softly, as you move the two of you from where Natasha and Sam are standing. You meets Sam’s eye, shaking your head, as Nat drags him to the opposite side of the hallways. Bucky is still fuming and expecting you to be crying or experiencing something emotional, but you just take a breathe and laugh a little. It breaks him how poorly you’re treating yourself over this guy. (And Nat, he’ll a word for her later).    

“Are you just gonna let your boyfriend pull that?” Bucky yells, as you watch him, “He’s still there with Nat. Don’t you deserve better?”

“Don’t you pull that shit on me, James,” sickness clearly forgotten, as you try to defend yourself and by extension Sam because Bucky Barnes has no right in talking to you about how to treat people after everything he had done. The scene with Nat and Sam is slowly forgotten, as something else --years in the making-- finally makes it way to the surface.

“No! You don’t know that feeling when you’re not your favorite person’s favourite person, and it kind of feels like you’re constantly swallowing sand? Seeing you laughing and dancing with that guy? It kills me and to have him doing this,” James fights back, though unsure against what at this point, as he wants to yell, support, and kiss you all at the same time. The fire in your eyes shining so brightly isn’t helping the situation much either.    

“I get it completely,” you answer back, tone dark and even, as you let go of your feeling -- not overthinking the consequences for once, “I’ve gotten it for years, every summer watching my favorite person leave me and turn into a different person for the attention, for the girls that flirted and he dated--”

“Doll--”

He’s stunned and you’re pure anger.

“Fucking call me that again and you’ll lose your other arm,” you let out in once breathe as he watches you tirade in silence, “I’ve seen my favorite person , the one I loved since I was 14, walk away every damn time without a hint of remorse. So don’t spew me your bullshit, James Buchanan Barnes. I don’t regret walking then and not now.”

You walk away, leaving a stunned Bucky for, a second time as you head back to your parents’ home.

You don’t remember much after your parents picked you up from the event and you collapsed in your room soon afterwards. You hadn’t seen Sam for the rest of the evening and don’t even hear from him the next day. You wonder what he’s up to, but are happy that he found someone he’s so infatuated it with and from what you had seen Natasha was a good person, even though she was a little closed off. You thought that matched your good friend perfectly. You heave out a sigh and dig yourself into your bed a bit more until you hear it, that noise that still haunts you -- clink clink. You groan but don’t move at all, you close your eyes and try to sleep once more. You aren’t playing this game again, especially after confessing last night.

“Come on, sleepy head,” a warm voice and shaking welcomes you back to the land of the living, as you look up and Sam smiles, “Someone is waiting for you outside.”

“No,” you groan out, as Sam shakes his head only to pick you out of your bed bridal style. You yelp as he laughs, you come out of your blanket as he starts moving down the stairs. You huff before you start coughing again once more.

“Nat and I realized that you guys need to talk,” Sam explains as you give him a smile.

“It’ s you and Nat , now?” you tease, as he shakes his head. You’re going to have get the the story out of him at a later time, right now he seemed distracted with something else, as you reached the bottom of the stairs.

He places you softly close to the front door, as you can tell your parents are sneaking glances here and there from the living room. It wasn’t like your parents didn’t know what was going on, but they trusted you enough from a very young to be logical and straightforward with your feelings -- it was just never like that when it came to James Barnes, and maybe they knew that and had let you leave their home earlier than usual because of that but now as a grown woman, there wasn’t much they could tell you.

“Just please listen to him,” Sam tries to cheer you up as he places his hands on your shoulders, “There’s a lot both of you seem to misunderstand about the other.”

“I’ll try,” you admit defeat at that bright smile Sam always get when he is right about something, and maybe like always he has a point and thus for him and for the much needed closure you need to have -- you let Sam push you out the front door to the front porch. And, that’s when your heart stops once more.

James is walking back and forth on the grassy part. Brown hair disheveled in appearance as he keeps running a hand through it in frustration every so often. He’s wearing a white top covered with red and blue flannel and a pair of sweats, you have to wonder how he isn’t hot with such humidity. But, it’s in this moment that you notice the bags under his eyes and the pale complexion he seems to have -- James looks as bad as you feel, and you can’t help but wonder if he has always looked like that or if it was just since last night.

You take what little courage you have and call out to him. He stops in his tracks and blue eyes turn to look at you, really look at you before an crooked smile blooms onto his face. He comes up to you, ready to reach out but you take a step back and you swear that you see the light die out in his eyes for a moment. James let out a sigh before shaking his head. You take an uneasy step to sit down on the stairs before patting the space to you.

“I’m here to listen to whatever you gotta say,” you say in an even tone, handing out a peace branch as he sits down, “I’ll listen, but that’s it for now.”

James is quick to understand that this is the only chance you are giving him to mend what was broken years ago, to make you understand everything from his point-of-view -- and how he tries. He goes from middle school to the wedding, how he never felt he was good enough and needed to present himself as something for people to like him. However, the summers were unconditional for him -- it was only the two of you and he didn’t have to pretend, though the fear was always there in the back of his mind -- that complex he would never be good for someone like you -- he just didn’t know it was love until you were gone. He lost himself for a good while too: joining the Army, losing his arm, coming back and getting his degree, then opening his own branch in Indianapolis, but something was always missing.

“And Natasha?” you question, as he rubs the back of his neck.

“Nat is just a friend from my Army days,” he explains looking up at the sky, “I just brought her as a pretense, just like Sam.”

He gives you a sad smile, but there is still something else that you want to know about -- that thing, that past that drove you from your home in the first place. You have listened to everything that James has said, but there is one crucial piece of information missing and you know he knows it too.

“And Dot?” you ask, pulling your blanket a bit closer to yourself as he lets out a bitter laugh. Blue eyes look at you, something dark and haunting about them scare you for just a moment -- you wonder briefly if you should have asked. He places his right hand in front of the two of you and flips it over to the inside of his wrist to show you a large surgical scar that moves from the right to left of his wrist in a slanted angle -- as if someone had been trying to cut his hand.

“I don’t think I can ever tell you, or anyone, about what happened between me, Dot, and Rumlow,” he explains and though he tries to be steady, you can hear the he is struggling with the last part, “But, I can tell you that you were right that night in the bathroom.”

“Okay,” you nod, as he gives you a watery smile before going on once more, knowing that this could be the last thing he would ever telling you.

“Even if you don’t anymore, I still love you,” he smiles with red eyes as you stare at him like a deer caught in the headlights, “I was just such a fool who didn’t realize what I had until it was gone, and I’ve regretted it everyday since. I just want you to know that, doll.”

You stay silent for a long time and after admitting defeat to himself, Bucky starts to get up from the steps. It’s then you can finally find your voice, finally do what you should had done years ago.

“I love you too, James. I don’t think that’s ever changed,” you admit helplessly as James turns to look at you, hope and fear mixed together in those blue eyes of his, “But, I’m not the doormat I was as a child. So, if you want, I am willing to take this slow and be friends again.”

Friends. Friends.

It’s not what he had wanted, but it was more than what he thought he was going to get as he leans down on your step, as little different from all those years ago but familiar with all the anxiety and fear you knew so well. He pulls out his hand and grins.

“I’ll take that for now,” James admits before introducing himself once more, James Barnes - architect.

You laugh and start shaking his hand while stating your name and current job title in front of those old houses where this had started  years ago.

And maybe one day (with communication  and understanding), your favorite person could love you every day of every year and not just in the summertime.

Epilogue 

[pandilemma]

The morning had come, and Saibon was ready. She waited outside Klaxxi’vess in the same place she stood yesterday when Yazak approached her. She checked behind her periodically to see if he was coming.

She found it....Strange, to see mantid sleeping. To see one so passive and nonthreatening. Not all of them were asleep, but the few that were reminded her that the mantid were more than just...Bloodthirsty, coldhearted monsters. They were people. People who followed a vastly different path than she.

And that is what was going to make it difficult to stay distant.

She knew as soon as this was over that they would be enemies again. It was best not to make what she could consider friends out of them. She would not let herself become conflicted. The mantid were vicious adversaries of her people, and she would rip them apart wherever they showed their faces.

The buzzing of wings alerted her to Yazak’s arrival. He landed beside her, light as a feather with only an amber sword at his side.

“Admittedly, I didn’t think you’d be up at this hour.” He said.

“I stayed up.” Saibon replied.

“Was that wise?”

“No, but I am not a wise woman.”

Yazak chuckled. “Fair enough, just don’t fall asleep in the middle of battle.”

Saibon rolled her eyes hard. “Where are we headed?”

Yazak pointed out into the distance.  "To the March. I'm sure you've seen the kunchongs."

"We're gonna fight them?"

"Yes."

Saibon grinned wickedly. "I like this. Let's go."

Yazak grinned, at least, it looked like he did. "I knew you'd like it.  There's something else, though."  

"What?"

"I will have to carry you. You are not fast enough to keep up with me in the air."

Saibon stared at him blankly for a moment. "You want to what?"

"Carry you."

"Uh, no."

Yazak sighed. "Are you afraid?"

"No! First off, I don't want to be carried by someone I just met. Two, I don't trust you. You'll drop me."

"You're afraid."

"I AM NOT."

" You are."

Saibon bore her teeth at Yazak. "DO IT. PICK ME UP. FLY AS HIGH AS POSSIBLE."

Yazak looked at her, studying for a moment. He didn’t take long to think about whether to truly fly as high as possible. He quickly scooped her up into his arms and sprung from the ground with surprising force, spreading his wings and taking flight.

“You don’t have to carry me like a BRIDE.” Saibon hissed. This was the closest she’d ever been to a mantid. Or...To anyone, honestly. Regardless, she was on her last strain of patience.

“I thought it would be safer this way. But, if you insist...” Yazak said, opening his arms and dropping her.

Saibon yelped and flailed as she fell, reluctant to scream. She would NOT give him that satisfaction. As quickly as he dropped her though, she felt him grip her hand tightly, letting her dangle underneath him as he flew.

“Is this better, Exile?” He asked.

“I’m going to pluck your antennae out.” She hissed coldly.

Yazak cackled. It wasn’t long until their destination was in sight. Saibon looked at the scar across the wastes with awe. Not the good kind. She couldn’t believe the devastation that stretched out in front of her.

Yazak scowled. “They have made a disaster of this place.”

Saibon continued to gaze down. Below, she could see a few mantid walking alongside a kunchong who must have been ten times their size.  The mantid below had noticed them, and were preparing for contact.

“On second thought.....Drop me.” Saibon said. She had gotten a bright idea. If she could land just right on that kunchong...

Yazak didn’t say a word. He dropped her. Saibon panicked for a moment before gripping her spear and and holding it up as she plummeted. Yazak drew his sword and sped downwards to meet the mantid near the kunchong.

Saibon landed hard on the giant insect’s back and dove her spear into it’s hood. It roared and tried to shake her off, swiping its forelegs over its head. She couldn’t pull her spear out easily through the insect’s carapace, so she resorted to her daggers instead. She stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed into the insect, wearing away it’s carapace. The kunchong reared and slammed its front legs into the ground as it lashed out in pain and anger, and Saibon flew forwards, and the kunchong caught her in it’s mandibles.

Below, Yazak was leaping to and from each soldier with the help of his powerful wings. Each blow he made with his sword hit the ground or it’s target audibly with either a loud thump, or a dying scream. Saibon couldn’t keep an eye on him as he danced, leaving barely a footprint as he landed.

Yazak skidded to a halt on the sha cursed ground as the remaining mantid scrambled to regain their composure. The largest one stepped forward. He was green in color and wielding a large, amber spear. He glared coldly at Yazak, but Yazak met him with a calm, even gaze. The kunchong flailed beside them as Saibon fought to stay out of it’s mouth. Neither of them moved.

Yazak initiated this encounter with a flutter of his wings and sprung forth, quickly closing the distance between him and the other mantid.

Saibon dug her claws into the mandibles of the kunchong. She would not be eaten. She refused. A sick, red glow formed around her hands as the mandibles parted, dropping her. She landed on her feet, picking up the daggers she had dropped as the mandibles parted.

While the insect remained paralyzed by her blood magic, she lunged for it’s legs.She jabbed into the segments, even as the kunchong regained mobility. Eventually, it gave out. The kunchong staggered and screamed.

Yazak and his opponent were locked in a flurry of quick strikes. The other mantid was not as quick and had a few wounds, but the strength behind his attacks was brutal. Yazak had to be careful. They jumped out of the way as the kunchong collapsed, and Yazak sped to strike him.

The mantid was quick and thrust his spear out, forcing Yazak to block with his sword. While Yazak was quick and strong, this mantid was much stronger physically. He shoved Yazak back and sprung to strike. Yazak blocked again, lashing out with his forelegs. The other mantid struck out with his own, each one forcing the other back. Yazak launched into the air, to the other one’s dismay. Yazak could see his wings were damaged.

However, as Yazak was speeding back around to meet his adversary, Saibon had managed to stab her way up to the kunchong’s face, stabbing it multiple times, causing it to fall over, dead. Yazak had to quickly divert his course, or he’d crash.

To his delight, his opponent wound up trapped under the large corpse.

Saibon flicked blood off of her hands, even if she was covered in it. She walked off to Yazak.

“Well, that went well!” She said cheerily.

“Indeed.” He answered, looking to the trapped mantid.

Saibon followed his gaze and grinned wickedly at the struggling mantid. She knelt in front of him and stared into his hate filled eyes.

“To be defeated like this..You must be embarrassed, huh?” She taunted.

“You think you’ve won?” He sneered. “Pathetic.”

Saibon and Yazak watched as the mantid lifted himself up and from under the kunchong’s body. In a swift motion, he grabbed Saibon by the throat and lifted her up. Yazak hissed and poised himself to attack, but the other mantid held a hand out.

“Ah ah....I’ll crush her throat in a heartbeat.”

Saibon dug her claws into the mantid’s arms and tried to kick, but she was too short to reach. She couldn’t focus enough to use her blood magic as her breath was leaving her swiftly. The smaller mantid regrouped and encircled them with weapons at the ready.

“How is this, traitor.... I’ll let her go if you can fight all of my men here...At once.” The mantid proposed smugly.

Saibon could feel his grasp tightening. She needed to think. What could she do right now? She continued ripping at his arms, but this mantid’s carapace was strong. Stronger than usual. Her claws almost got stuck on many occasions.

Her options were dwindling as he leaped up onto the dead kunchong, out of Yazak’s reach.

“What is your name?” Yazak asked the mantid.

“I am Iz’zik.”

“Well then, Iz’zik. I want you to watch me as I slay each and every one of your men.”

Iz’zik cackled and tightened his grip on Saibon’s throat. “Better hurry before I crush her throat.”

Saibon flattened her ears. She couldn’t get him to let go no matter how hard she ripped at him. The fact that her life depended on the actions of a mantid irritated her, but she had no choice but to watch as Yazak was swarmed by dozens of mantid, and how he viciously fought to stay on top.

[eclecticpatrolsweets]

Give him a name

​​The pick-up desk met Baichuan again, he lost a lot of weight, and compared with memory, but also much younger.

​

No hugs, waiting for hours, little lost.

​

They take the subway, 1km, 2km, 3km, 4km, 5km... The train kept moving, there wasn't much language, there was a little little happiness.

​

Two people came to the hotel, the next day around, looking at the joy of Baichuan, Artu slightly feel the beauty of the sun.

​

Atu hope that Baichuan to his place of residence, in 2016 together to live, did not leave any good impression, this time to go home again, Baichuan should know their hearts.

​

"Where are you going?" "The question Atu didn't say, he waited for Baichuan's idea.

​

Wherever you go, I'm by your side, forever and ever.

​

If you do not believe, I have never lost who, if you want to fight, I will be blood-driven sun,my heart will blow the Red Army's command, the head on the head do not let go, my father from the army, whether he is well, I can afford.

​

That's my answer.

​

I don't know what you've been through, I don't know what it's like to be alive, I just know, for so many years, you're my brother, my family, 17-year-old sweded to meet someone.

​

A few days later the two flew back to work, returned to the familiar place, to open a new chapter.

​

"Where do you put the flag?" Arto asked.

​

"When the courier arrives, I'll put it here." Baichuan pointed.

​

"Oh, I had an idea when I was at home, and if I was penniless, the flag would be a place to be reckoned with after death. "

​

Baikawa didn't speak.

​

Baichuan let Artu cast resume, night, Artu will be cool mat to the roof, spread out, point incense, look up at the stars.

​

"Look, that's Orion, three stars. Arto pointed excitedly at the sky.

​

The feeling of Baichuan getting older.

​

In fact, whether you love or not, I will be by your side.

​

After moving, the lightning of the sky blew the wind in the posture of a thousand dragons roaring, Atu had nothing to say, he always did.

​

If you want to go, go. Atu also said, now just in mind.

​

Baichuan to go, hurried, Artu some sad: "Do you want me to help you?" "

​

"Don't! "

​

In the end, Artu still sent Baichuan to the driveway, Artu followed him: "After leaving, get married and have children, have a good family." "

​

Baichuan replied: "Dog bastard! "

​

Baichuan replied to the mood, back home.

​

Atu did not say anything more, deep lying, let the world change, his heart in the abyss.

​

In April, Baichuan sat on a small stool, viciously said: "You will be old will be miserable!" "

​

Atu looked at Baichuan, waves, peace of mind.

​

From the beginning of June to August 8, When He woke up on the 7th, his lower body turned red, and on the 8th, his hands were stained with bright scarlet peach blossoms.

​

The knife of the right hand rose against the wind, the tip of the knife was aimed at the zhu fin, the green dragon fire.

​

"This seat has two sides, one side of God, one side of the devil, if I am the same, there are three, respect the doctrine, caress the hearts of the people, strict law." "

​

Artu's eyes changed to "Xiao", said: "Jun has lost me, for the storm of the week." "

​

Three heads and six arms of my head.

​

The lotus flower slots behind

​

Come back and I'll take your life.

​

Then the East China Sea

​

Gold Ring and Red Satin

​

Look at my golden sakura gun in hand

​

To be in this chaotic world

​

Big open killing ring

​

In the distance came the sound of Buddha:

​

South no conversion ten side to empty the boundary of all the Buddhas

​

South non-convertten ten side to the empty boundary of all respect law

​

South Non-Convertten Ten Party Deflated All Sage Monks

​

......

​

After the calm, rain clear, the earth filled with the bloody smell of disaster, the debris is full of land.

​

Abone opened his eyes, and Ai's face was full of tenacity.

​

A bone gets up and looks around.

​

Ai had no language, a bone looked to Ai, and the child was asleep.

​

For a long time, the child woke up and cried.

​

Ai asked Abone, "You are the son of the leader, give him a name." "

​

"Take the rain! "

​

"Good! "

​

Ai got up, grabbed the bone's hand, and held tightly, moving in the direction that should go.

​

"Find our people!" Ai said.

​

"I'm your leader!" "

​

"There's no doubt about it!" Ai held the child, clutching the leader's hand, raining in the background, the two back is Brazil's most majestic sun.

​

Take the toxoplasmosis of the rain

​

"You love her because your mind is not clean!" The emperor's minister sat high on it.

​

The tied Nayuda smiled with contempt.

​

"Medically, find that if there are toxoplasmosis in the head, will particularly like cats, mouse because they like cats, so the cat eat, that pickled woman will also eat you, I am a good heart, after all, God is merciful, he accepted so clean and clean people, you are very clean to go to the court, how can you fail God's mercy?" The minister said sympathetically.

​

"I don't understand what you're saying, And I don't want to live in your glorious city, I just want to take her away!" "Take Yuda's attitude is firm.

​

"You have defiled the holy church of the son of Heaven and must be punished!" "

​

Take Yuda was put on a platform, next to the odd flower big tied, her hair messy, face is tears.

​

"I don't regret believing you, I don't regret being your wife!" "Voices weakly.

​

Da Yuna has not too much strength, he looked at the powerless strange, exhausted the last trace of strength to look at the sky.

​

During the execution, Dayouna saw a flag with a snake painted on it, its head facing the tail of the snake.

​

"Elders! "Da Yuna finished, bowed his head, no breath.

​

In the sky, suddenly appeared an eye, eyes burst with colorful speed of light, DaYuNa's body glowed, his body changed into a huge white dragon, whistling hovering over the ancient city of Pompeii, strange body red light, become a phoenix, with the white dragon chasing each other, white dragon and phoenix flying together.

​

The giant eyes over the ancient city of Pompeii are approaching, becoming a planet, frantically smashing toward stomping on the earth.

​

Drama, Zoo

​

Hummingbird plays the role of Snow White on stage, waiting for The White Horse to arrive.

​

Blue also learned to dance, and he performed on stage with his fellow troupes.

​

With the applause, the curtain came to an end.

​

"I think you're making a play that's too much of a feeling. Hummingbirds took their blue hands and rushed to the playground, where the rain was falling.

​

Blue hasn't changed her show clothes yet.

​

Blue looked at the hummingbird, his chest rising and falling.

​

Blue couldn't help holding the hummingbird in his arms and kissing the hummingbird.

​

For a long time, the hummingbird's lips left and said, "You are in love with me, I will sing in your zoo." "

​

After listening to the hummingbird, Blue couldn't help kissing the hummingbird.

​

Then the two left a tear, and the rain washed away the tears on their cheeks.

​

That night, blue and happy sleep, hummingbirds take off a flower, put aside to sleep.

​

The next day, the two got up early, the hummingbird received an invitation from the blue, the two happily pulled hands to the street full of lanterns.

​

"I love the feeling!" Hummingbird said.

​

"Me too!" Blue said to the hummingbird.

​

"I don't want to think about the day of separation. Hummingbirds looked at the blue carefully.

​

"I never thought about it. "

​

"But now you're starting to think about it." "

​

"We're not going to break up!" "

​

"What do you promise?" "

​

Blue looked at the hummingbird earnestly: "If the earth is difficult, then I take you to Mars, where we will have a very beautiful future!" I will do whatever it takes for you, and I will do everything for you, and I will hold your hand unless we both have the reasons and strength to separate..."

​

Hummingbird blocks blue mouth with its index finger: "If that's the case, I won't resent you." "

​

The two ate some steamed dumplings at the restaurant, and the amount of food was not too big.

​

"You didn't eat anything. Hummingbird said.

​

"Why do you think I'm going to eat a lot?" "

​

"I've seen a lot of boys eat a lot. "

​

"You didn't eat anything. "

​

"Isn't all the girls you've ever seen eat a lot?" Hummingbird asked sharply.

​

"I'm sorry! Blue smiled.

​

"We'll go to the movies at the waittime." Blue said.

​

"Yes!" Hummingbird said with a smile.

​

In the street, hummingbird said: "It is difficult to meet the love of people and the right people in their lives." "

​

"How could all of a sudden be so emotional?" "Blue doesn't understand.

​

"There is a very old book, that story is also very distant, a heroine also called hummingbird, she was forced to marry an adult ceremony to a person she did not like, so the ship left, but found the zoo abandoned by humans. "

​

"I will not abandon you, you are my forever zoo." "

​

"Maybe you'll open a zoo on Mars." "

​

"It's a good idea!" "

​

"Do you think our story has an ending?" "

​

"It's a pun!" "

​

"Then say it." "

​

"Hold my hand." "

​

The hummingbird grabbed the blue hand, the blue held the hummingbird's hand tightly, and the two quickly rushed to the end of the street.

​

By the bridge, blue hugged the hummingbird and kissed.

​

"You'll always be my hummingbird." Blue said softly.

​

He came to the pool.

​

Chuan looked at the full of noodles, said: "The two of us, estimated that can not finish." "

​

"It must be a no-go!" Let's eat together. Said, "I'm not going to be there."

​

We all swept the noodles together and praised the deliciousness.

​

A shake, 28 days quietly spent.

​

"It's been 28 days and It's time for me to do an interview. Kawasaid to Yu Di.

​

"Yes, it's been so long. "The flute stood up.

​

"Follow me, " said the flute. "

​

Sichuan followed the flute and came to a room full of paintings and other items.

​

"You see i painted them all. The flute pointed to one of the paintings.

​

"Well, isn't that me?" Chuan was a little surprised. "

​

"Do you think it's good?" "

​

"I'm not a professional, I can't judge. "Chuan stared at his portrait.

​

The flute came out of the room, and Sichuan followed.

​

The flute came to the edge of the pool, walked into the pool, and floated on the water.

​

"I love you, not because of what you gave me, but because of the age when I need you most, you appear. "

​

Gradually, the flute body became a metal structure, constantly self-disassembling.

​

In the end, there was only a square robot that wiped the pool.

​

Constantly wiping the rock walls of the pool...

​

- Ghosts with few flutes --

​

- September 2, 2019 at 18:23 -

​

- Starting in 2019, the size of Mesa

​

- Bi Yuyong Lake subway station​​​​