#He knows that they're pretty much 100% energy and magic and decides he's going to roll up with and present his shitty little wizard staves

[miisfits-toys]

Images taken seconds before disaster

Caligo decides he's hot enough shit to approach and contest "Large and terrible murder woman" and well, er, um. He's fine after this (mostly)

[carica-ficus]

“Fourth Wing”

26/12/2023

Reading progress: 498/498 (100%) Read through since last update: 152

It was a little harder for me to read through the rest of this book today. I think I was a little fed up by it. (And reading started feeling somewhat like a chore, since I could get out of bed now and had the energy to find different entertainment - ToTK my beloved.)

Final thoughts:

She asks Xaden about his scars, acknowledges he's private about them, and then she's surprised he doesn't want to tell her? That's such a personal question. Very invasive. If he wanted to talk about it with her, it's on him to start the subject. Ugh, I hate this trope in fiction when the person that doesn't talk about their trauma is painted as paranoid or mistrustful. Just leave the poor guy alone.

"Shit, am I flirting?" Girl, you've literally hooked up twice till now. For all I care, he's your boyfriend now.

"When did I ever give you the impression that I give a fuck what people think about me?" Literally a page ago, when you said that you don't want a saddle because others would think of you as weak.

They're seriously teasing about kissing again as if they both don't want it, as if they aren't flirting on every page, as if they haven't almost fucked.

It's kinda disappointing that Violet has lightning powers. Naolin had the power to heal. Hell, he almost resurrected Brennan, which is incredible. Impossible even. I feel like lightning should fall under elemental wielding, in the same category as water or fire, which Violet mentions are fairly common. I don't know... I expected something cooler. (Future me: At least it turned out to be pretty cool to use. So ok, I'm going back to half of what I said, but I'm gonna stand by the fact that this power seems barely insignificant compared to some of the others.)

OH MY GOD YARROS REMOVED LIAM SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO HEAR THEM FUCK

Ingenious. Ok. Slay. She saved that boy.

I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA MENTION SOME MAGICAL CONTRACEPTIVE WHILE THEY WERE DOING IT.

Kudos to the sex scene! It was pretty good. A little too much needless dirty talk, but I've read much, much worse. It's in line with all the tension that's been built up between them, it's hot enough and of a decent length (6ish pages? That's a lot). So yeah. Thumbs up. 👍

But why does Violet have to end it with talk of his scars? 😩 Now they're talking about war crimes after fucking.

(I really don't like when characters are pushy about somebody's scars and trauma. Not even your partner owes you an explanation of their past. It is up to them to share it if they want.)

Being horny makes her strike lightning? 😭😭😭 I need this book to STOP.

The first time a specific year gets mentioned is at page 431. Four hundred thirty fucking one. And its introduced as AU (after unification). What unification? Why should I care about this unit of measurement now? Especially considering it's not gonna be mentioned again??? (Future me: I was right. It was, in fact, not mentioned again.)

Yeah. I was just waiting for the whole gryphon army to finally approach Xaden and the other separatists. It would have been a good plot point if there was any build up on the politics behind the war, but there was none, so I feel very indifferent to this revelation.

CANNOT believe Yarros decided to INFO-DUMP such a stupid little detail like the name of gryphon fliers while Violet was literally ready to murder Xaden.

Violet knows, she KNOWS Dain can read minds. How could she forget a power like that? How could she forget that her best friend is able to read her mind every time he touches her face??? That's a really big invasion of privacy. And she caught it once and slipped away from him. Every normal person would have never trusted him again. And now she's surprised he's been doing it the whole time???

Not Liam! 😭😭

That last battle was pretty exhilarating, but I got lost in the number of venin and wyvern more than once. Still, Violets final attack was really cool.

So Violet almost does, miraculously wakes up, sees Xaden by her bed and kisses him, and the only thing Xaden thinks about how lucky he is that he'll get to fuck her again. And they say romance is dead.

No, fuck. I can't stop thinking about this. Fuck the ending. I knew Brennan was alive. I spoiled half the book to myself before I read it. It's fine. But the fact that Xaden is so thirsty for Violet that he only thinks about sex when she wakes up, after she has been unconscious from a life threatening injury, just left me so shocked that I can't get pass it. I can't ignore it. It's just so sickening. I don't know how else to describe it. Almost predatory. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

And I'm done. 2am. I'm shocked with the ending, but not with the part most people were. I can't get over Xaden's reaction to Violet. I simply can't. This book is very horny. I don't particularly care. I don't mind erotic content or erotica in general. They're not always my genre of choice, but I won't stray away from them if I'm interested. And even though I don't read it very often, I do love romance. And I do love fantasy. And I love dragons. This book has been a general disappointment on all these account. And I'm just frustrated because I truly, wholeheartedly did want it to be good and to be interesting. I really believed that it couldn't be that bad. But it is. It really truly is. And it's so sad. And I'm so disappointed...

[imbonewary]

Shifting Sans Chapter 2 "In Which, Sans is Very Confused"

~

Chapter 1 - Chapter 3

~

I flinched hard at a knock on the door. I must've blacked out for a minute.

"We heard something fall," a hesitant voice called through the door. "Is everything alright in there?"

Ah, that must've been me that fell, seeing as I'm on the floor, curled up in a rattling ball.

"'m fine,” hopped out of my mouth before I'd decided to respond. I’m not sure I’ve ever been "fine" but whatever. If that really is my brother than I don't want him to worry, and if it's not... show no weakness or it'll be used against you. I decided to stay on the floor as I went over what I knew; no sense wasting precious energy sitting up. 

So. 

I really did absorb a piece of the human's soul. 

A piece of that thing is inside me now. 

I don't think there's any way to un-absorb a soul.

I'll never be free of it. 

...

Welp.

I'll just have to get used to that. 

What else do I know.

I guess I still have full control because I only absorbed a piece of the human’s soul, not the whole thing, so there’s that. Small blessings. Not sure what I’d do if I could hear that little demon in my head all the time. 

I moved one of the wings into my view to examine it more closely. 

While I'm not 100% certain, I'm pretty sure the wings are coming from that soul piece; they are the same color, after all, and seem to be more like conjured flesh than feathers. Human souls are powerful so it would make sense that a monster who absorbs one would have to accommodate for the influx of magic somehow. Did anything else change besides the wings? I didn't notice anything different while getting dressed, so maybe not. In that case, I guess I'm glad the only change was the addition of wings. Coulda been worse. 

And apparently I can fly now, but I’ll think about that later. 

Grabbing the soul piece must've interrupted the reset; that could be why everything is so weird, but resets only affect time, and they only go back to when the human first fell. At least, ever since they took the power from Flowey anyways, and even then, he technically only had it for a few months. There wouldn't have been enough time, let alone need, to convert the closet into a bathroom. Besides, it was clean but obviously used and definitely not a new feature. 

That skeleton out there... He hadn't corrected me when I called him "Papyrus" but he’s so different than my brother. He could speak softly, not only knew about Gaster Blasters but could summon his own, he was wearing jeans and a white shirt instead of his Battle Body, and he'd called me "buddy" instead of "brother" earlier... I hadn't caught it at the time but now that I think about it, that's even more weird than the rest of it!

I don't... I don't think that skeleton is my brother. Not unless a lot more has changed than just time can account for.

I need more information. I could spin my wheels for hours getting nowhere unless I ask my "hosts" some potentially awkward questions. I just hope they're willing to humor me. 

I sat up, taking a deep breath before standing, once again using the sink for support. As I reached for the door a sudden fear of the unknown washed over me. After such a long time dealing with predictability how well am I gonna handle not knowing what comes next? I wonder how rusty my people-reading skills have gotten...

I shook my head, no more stalling. Swallowing my trepidation, I opened the door a crack, as quietly as I could. "Alphys" was sitting on the far side of the sofa with her tail curled around  her; the white jacket she'd been wearing earlier was gone, leaving just the black dress, as she held the bundled up blanket I'd probably been using earlier. She had darker stripes on her forearms and markings around her eyes but no glasses. That didn't quite account for how much younger she looked. No sign of "Papyrus", though I could hear cooking sounds from the kitchen, solving that mystery. The door creaked and I instinctively pulled back as "Alphys" glanced at me, smiled, and turned her attention back to the low volume TV. I squared my shoulders; now or never time.

I was filled with DETERMI-

OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THIS FEELING?!

I retched, falling forward against the door, onto my knees, as waves of strength, power, and resolve coursed through my entire being. It wasn't painful, per se, but the phantom burning memory of molten magic lancing through my bones was plenty real to me. I hadn't felt anything like that since...

The Labs.

My mind was flooded with old memories I thought I'd buried long before the resets ever started. I saw the sadistic glee in his smile as he held a syringe filled with a sickly green substance; he said it was green healing magic mixed with the barest hint of red DT but the whole thing looked tainted as he injected it into the mana lines in my chest. As close to my soul as he dared get without actually piercing it. It wasn't the first time and sure as hell wasn't the last. 

I whimpered into my hands as I let the memories wash over me. 

It was a well practiced mental exercise I'd developed over the subjective years spent repeating the same goddamn days over and over. Let the mangled memories run their course, acknowledge their presence, send them on their way; and pray that I make it to the other side without losing the rest of my tattered sanity.

If you're goin' through Hell, don't stop.

Several torturous minutes later, the pain filled visions of needles, restraints, rough hands, and strange substances, faded. 

I stayed kneeling on the floor, breathing ragged as I let my fluttering soul calm back into a steady rhythm.

I struggled to my feet, leaning heavily against the wall, and didn't give myself time to think before opening the door, trudging over and plopping onto the couch opposite Alphys. I didn't look at her but I could practically feel her smile... Wait a sec, I could feel it, like a warmth radiating from her but not one I could feel on my bones; one I could feel on my actual soul. Flowing into me from behind, right where the wings were attached to my back. 

Put that on my growing list of weird things to think about later.

Something else I could feel with the wings was every fiber of the couch cushion I was leaning back against. That was an uncomfortable amount of sensory input, especially from new limbs I wasn't used to yet. Or maybe they were just hyper sensitive to touch. Or both, I didn’t conjure flesh often. Either way, that's really annoying. I tried to subtly find a more comfortable position but my fidgeting became less and less subtle the more frustrated I got with the over stimulation before giving up, flopping over the side of the arm rest with a groan of resignation. 

A throat cleared and I flinched hard.

I turned with an easy smile, pretending I hadn't just jumped out of my nonexistent skin, to find "Papyrus" with an amused grin and two bowls of food. Schooling his expression to carefully neutral, he handed one bowl to "Alphys" before offering the other to me. I could still feel his amusement, just like I could feel Alphys' smile earlier. I took the bowl with a quiet thanks, leaning forward to avoid letting the wings touch the couch again. It would be easier to avoid making a mess like this anyways.

A sob caught in my throat as I looked down at the bowl of spaghetti.

Maybe he was my brother after all. 

Swallowing the tears that pricked at the corners of my sockets, I shoved a forkful of noodles in my mouth and, as much as I love my brother, I could admit his spaghetti never tasted as good as this did. I ignored the confusing mix of emotions as I continued to shovel food in my face. It tasted good, sure, but I didn't realize how hungry I was until I... was out of food. I blinked at my suddenly empty bowl.

"Nyeh heh," Papyrus chuckled, holding out another bowl. "Would you like some more? I made plenty."

I grabbed it greedily, trading him for the empty one as he got up from his chair. I hadn't noticed him sit down next to Alphys; where did the chair even come from?

"Oh my g-god, that was adorable," Alphys snickered behind her hand. 

I blushed, looking away. My eyelights had definitely blown wide at the taste; I really hope they didn't turn into stars or, god forbid, hearts. I wiped off my sauce covered face with the back of my hand; guess I made a mess of myself anyways. I debated for a moment before licking it off; shouldn't let it go to waste. I started eating at a more reasonable pace and Papyrus soon sat down with another bowl. Alphys had barely started her own bowl. So where had the bowl he just gave me come from?

Papyrus gave me his own god damn bowl of food, didn't he? I am such a terrible house guest.

We ate in silence a bit longer.

"Thanks for making dinner," Alphys said. "I-it tastes great."

"As great as the skeleton who made it!" Papyrus preened at the praise, hand on his puffed out chest. 

Another lump caught in my throat. This is getting ridiculous, are you my brother or not? You're so like him in some ways but in others you're the complete opposite. It's giving me emotional whiplash! 

"I suppose we should introduce ourselves, now that everything has calmed down a bit," he continued. Now that I've calmed down, you mean. "My name is Papyrus, though you seemed to already know that."

He hid it well but I could feel the undercurrent of suspicion coming from him.

The fact he felt the need to introduce himself means he doesn't know who I am. Which means he can't be my brother. I tried not to wilt visibly. 

"And this is my sister, Alphys."

I choked on my spaghetti. 

SISTER?! The FUCK?!

"That seems to surprise you." His suspicion was leaking out from behind his carefully neutral mask.

"Yeah, it does surprise me," I finally spoke. "You're supposed to be my brother."

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Growing up I always heard about teenage boys puberty as literally just inappropriate erections and sex drive and aggression, so as a dude and an evanstan fan- which makes you an expert xD. What do you think Chriss and Sebs sex drives are like (as adults ofc). Together or/and separate or just whatever you feel. Love ya!

still going through my old asks- my requests are currently closed

Inappropriately times erections are probably exactly as much of puberty as it sounds like you were taught (if that's the correct word??) lol. And that a thing to be an expert on haha

But, yes, libido. The magic shit that decides if you're a horny fucker or not lmao.

Also-

This is kind of unrelated, but, I have come to realize that truly having a matched sex drive is pretty important in sexual relationships unless you're really good at negotiating lol. It's not about high or low or better or worse, it's just that you've gotta find your match.

1. Chris:

Short answer: I think Chris has a high sex drive unless he's in his own head. In his own head like with anxiety or sometimes even with work he needs to get done. However... because of that steadily high sex drive, he's probably pretty easy to sway, especially if intimate things are already happening (like cuddling) (because the boy gets too handsy for his own good and ends up making Sebastian's insides turn to mush.))

Longer answer: you know how some people are the kind of people where when they're busy they forget to eat or sleep or whatnot? Well, Chris isn’t exactly like that; he remembers to do those things but if he's busy he gets anxiety surrounding deadlines or to do lists and piling up work and so it makes his libido a little finicky. And so if he's working really hard he probably pushes his needs to the side so he can finish whatever it is, putting himself and his desires in the backseat for a second. And that is if the want to do sexy things is even there at all because again, anxiety is a bitch with killing things like that and its kinda hard to get into the moment when your thoughts are going a million miles an hour.

That being said though Chris, especially in his early adult years, radiates so much frat bro™️ energy that I cannot imagine anything but when he's just normally working- comfortably working and not stressing out, that he'd need to jerk off or get off at least every other day, possibly every day too. He's not great at delaying the inevitable, if he's horny, he's horny- why wait it out when he can take care of it now?

He just comes across to me as a, I'll just rub one out in the shower before my day gets going, when he's single, type of man. A maintainness orgasm kinda guy haha.

2. Sebastian:

I think Seb has a pretty consistent sex drive that's at, like, middle of the road all of the time. Likes he's happy to get off once a day/once every other day but he doesn't have to. He'd rather save up all that energy and spend a good amount of time working himself up for one orgasm than a few that are just, like, okay.

However.

When he gets horny...

Oh, boy, when he's horny he's horny and his sex drive can give Chris' a run for it's money (especially if he's feeling a little bratty *cough* sex kitten-ish *cough* or extra playful and wants to push Chris some).

That tendency to jump from 50 to 100 in the snap of his fingers (or, sometimes, the snap of Chris' fingers) means that when he's horny he rarely can wait. When he's cruising at his normal pace he's pretty good at staving it off until later when he's got more of a reason to get off or a natural spike in his sex drive, he likes to get off and have his orgasms feel monumentous y’know? He wants an actual release and a cliff to jump off of rather than a routine to follow through with.

Seb's more of a three/four to possibly five times a week than Chris five to six times a week.

3. Together:

You put these two together-?

Oh, boy, they're then like teenage boys for sure.

Chris' casual routine for an orgasm daily unless his work and/or emotional environment demands otherwise mixes practically fatally with Sebastian's want for his orgasms to be meaningful and big feeling... and they cannot keep their hands off of each other. They not only have sex to sate a natural urge but also to be close and feel close.

And before you know it, after they first have sex and go all in with learning what pushes the others buttons, they're the only ones who can make each other feel the way that they do y’know? Sebastian never is as loud as he is with Chris, he never cums as hard. He never floats so easily in subspace with anyone like he does with Chris... and Chris... nobody brings out Chris' dom side like Sebastian does, the kid just screams good to him. So good that he has to do something with it. Chris never cums as hard as he does with Sebastian with anyone else either, however, he also doesn't feel the sated urge from just getting Seb off with anyone else. Sometimes getting Seb to subspace and to an orgasm is better than getting off for Chris. Together they're unparalleled.

When they're together they have some sort of sex or close-to-sex intimacy every single day for sure, if not multiple times a day.

Evidence lol:

Thank you for the ask!!

[teetlestansecond]

oc headcanon dump !!

Talise! 🪴

their best friend in the whole world is Mikey, no question about it.

they met April in middle school and lured her into their illegal potion-selling business. they ran it for two years together before getting caught.

the potions were nothing special, talise just had access to luster dust and would make concoctions of random liquids and toss in a little dust to make it look fancy, or for a drinkable option they'd use gatorade or a specific juice with a little luster dust. they and April made a surprising amount of money and even after getting caught their principal was impressed with how tightly run the operation was.

Talise is a self-care legend. they make their own face masks and sugar scrubs and regularly have April and the guys over to decompress and take care of themselves. they always make tea and the group will sit around pampering themselves while spilling their own tea, it's all-around a great time. Leo in particular loves dropping in for self-care sessions.

their favorite genre of music is rock but like, 2000's screamo and dad rock.

talise can play the guitar and base, and has a small collection of instruments in their room.

they're a firm believer that magic and science coexist and actually compliment each other, but they intentionally claim that magic is capable of more than science just to see Donnie get mad.

talise is a powerful psychic, and can manipulate mystic energy, which is all pretty nifty stuff if you ask them.

of all the things they can do, though, their favorite thing to do is to lift others with their mind. they used to lift Mikey a lot, but post-movie Mikey learns how to levitate pretty quickly and now the two of them just float around the lair and terrorize everyone else.

talise was that kid that offered to pierce your ears during recess with an ice cube and an apple slice and they never once had any of their "clients" get infected.

atari! 👾

mom friend of the year.

her purse is so big and carries the solution to every problem she's so ready for everything.

she, Raph, and Cassandra are all joined at the hip they love each other so much and help each other through so much.

Atari isn't much of a fighter but she'll knock you out cold if she has to, she was taught self-defense by literal ninjas you do not want to fuck with her.

Leo is 100% the family medic, but he learned a lot of what he knows from Atari.

she may be short and the boys may be very protective of her, but Atari is very much the big sister here. she's six years older than Raph and she won't be letting him or anyone else forget it.

taught Mikey how to bake, they regularly bake together!

she loves interior design and has helped everyone in her circle redecorate at least once before.

she worked as an er nurse for three months before deciding she wasn't a huge fan of the hospital scene and switched to working in a doctor's office as a physician's assistant.

she's a dancing queen!!!!!! she loves to dance and has a soft spot for disco but she doesn't talk about it often.

vinny! 🧪

Leo's single greatest regret in life was getting Vinny to hang out with Donnie. they're a terrifying duo and Leo lives in perpetual fear of them.

she's very science-minded, and where Donnie excels in robotics and technology she has a knack for chemistry and biology.

Vinny knows where her mother lives and visits her often, but only to check on her from a distance. after over a half of a decade she feels like she's missed her chance to properly reunite and settles for this instead.

she used to take piano and drum lessons, and when she snuck out during her battle nexus days she continued learning, and has since picked up guitar as well.

Vinny is bilingual and speaks Spanish and English!

she's highly competitive and stubborn, if you start a debate with her she won't drop it until she's won.

she's the same species as the Geico gecko and she's mad about it, don't bring it up.

she has a cloaking necklace that she occasionally wears if she wants to go out and explore.

she's a huge fan of Lou Jitsu and bonded with Splinter before any of the turtles because of her admiration for him and because of their shared experiences as nexus champions. she's especially fond of teasing him over his past relationship with Big Mama.

Vinny loves old cartoons, Darkwing Duck is her favorite!

Rhys! 🪩

he gets unexpectedly close with Cassandra that's his best friend!!

he's also bilingual and speaks Spanish and English.

street dancing is his thing, especially hip hop and popping, but Rhys has a love for more formal dancing as well and is learning new styles.

he can't stand clothes and wears them sparingly. it's not like he has a need for them, you know?

like regular painted turtles, Rhys' shell sheds and has rings you can use to see how old he is.

he's a very talented swimmer, and takes every opportunity to get in the water whenever possible.

Rhys also has a cloaking watch, but he doesn't like cloaking and only keeps the watch to let others borrow it whenever they want to.

along with dancing, Rhys also enjoys playing basketball and will beat just about anyone.

100% the type to play devil's advocate just for the chaos of it all.

also 100% a theater kid, he's making it everyone's problem.

Artemisia! 🫖

she picks her favorite color based on which of the turtles is her favorite brother.

if Artemisia likes you, she lets you know by stealing an article of clothing.

absolutely ruthless with the "it's because i'm blind, isn't it?" jokes just because she enjoys how people respond.

technically she still lives with Draxum, but after learning everything she considers Splinter her dad and spends a lot of time in the lair with his side of the family.

more often than not she spends her nights in the lair, drinking tea with Leo and gossiping.

she and April have girls' nights every weekend, absolutely no one knows what they get up to and they're sworn to secrecy about it.

100% a pop princess, she's an Ariana Grande stan and will fight you if you say anything about it.

she used to grow out her hair and wear high ponytails, but cut it after getting gum caught in it once and hasn't looked back.

this girl lives for the drama. she knows everyone's secrets and is the one person who will actually keep those secrets to herself.

y2k fashion queen, it's everyone's problem.

[panharmonium]

(1/3) Heya! A while back you were discussing Morgana's character and Merlin's relationship with her WRT magic and mentioned "gaslighting." I know for myself when I refer to Merlin gaslighting her it's not in regards to him not outing himself, but that 1) Pre 2X03 he goes along with Gaius in pretending to not believe that her visions are true and giving her the sleeping draughts. And Post 2X03, after reassuring her that they're still friends, he just doesn't really talk to her again until 2X12.

Hi!  So, I will preface this by saying that I normally don't have a chance to respond to asks in this much depth, but luckily I had some free time over the past couple of days, and there's nothing I like better than writing incessantly about Merlin, so I took the liberty of doing a deep dive. :)

My impression (because these asks don't actually include a particular question for me to answer) is that I'm being asked to expand/defend my own analysis from my original post with regard to the above points.  And I'll be honest and say that I won't always do that for folks on demand, because I really am of the school of thought that I don't write meta to convince anybody of something or "prove" a point - I really am just talking to myself in my own room for fun, and it isn't important to me to make a case to anybody who would rather approach from a different angle.  Like - if we’re on different pages, it’s chill; I don’t feel a need to discuss it or like...change someone’s mind.  (In all seriousness, I really have just been writing these things for myself and a couple of friends.  Prior to three days ago, when some kind of a bizarre surge happened, I had no followers who were here specifically for Merlin.)

But there are definitely some things referenced in these messages that I do have strong opinions about (though as I always say, that doesn't mean anyone is obligated to agree with me!)  And since I have the free time and am actually interested in this topic, I figured I'd try to address these things one by one (though I can't promise to do so in order.)  

I'll put everything under a cut, because this did get quite long.

disclaimer: as always, whenever I write meta: these are just my own thoughts, and I don’t expect anyone to share them.  If we are on different pages, feel free to scroll past and keep having fun in whatever way is most enjoyable to you!

1) “after reassuring her that they're still friends, he just doesn't really talk to her again until 2X12″

So first, I have to pose a question.

Why does this say "[Merlin] just doesn't really talk to her again" after 2.03?

Specifically, that framing.  

Merlin doesn't talk to her again.  

Because what actually happens, from 2.03-2.10, in an objective, this-is-what-we-see-onscreen way, is this: Merlin defies Gaius and tells Morgana that he believes she has magic.  He sends her to the Druids so they can help her, tries to distract the attacking knights so she can escape from Camelot with the Druids permanently, and, when that fails, he makes sure to come to Morgana's room and tell her that he supports her and her secret is safe with him.  

Then, from 2.04 through 2.10, they don't have screen time together.

Not "Merlin just doesn't talk to her."  

They don't have screen time together.  You could say "Morgana just doesn't talk to him" and it would be just as true.

But somehow we immediately frame our discussion of this as Merlin not doing something.  And that is what I am pushing back against.  

Merlin takes massive risks to help Morgana in 2.03.  He makes it very clear that he is there for her and he will never tell her secret, and Morgana, for her part, is shown to be very appreciative of that.  It's clear that she trusts him and believes him.  They part on a very positive note, at the end of 2.03.

Why, then, do we automatically frame the objective, unattributable-to-any-one-character fact that they don't interact onscreen after that as being somehow a failing on Merlin's part?   Why do we frame the simple fact that "they have no scenes together" as something for which we can lay blame?  (On Merlin, of course.  Never on Morgana.)

It's not as if we see Morgana reaching out and failing to get a response.  From 2.04-2.10, there are zero scenes of Morgana trying to approach Merlin and being rebuffed.  There are no scenes of Morgana wishing for guidance and being turned away.  And, with the exception of the Witchfinder episode (where Merlin already does literally everything in his power to expose this dangerous man and protect Morgana from his machinations) Morgana is not, in fact, shown to be getting "more and more freaked out and isolated."  

I want to pause and address that, because I know we've all sort of...collectively decided to imagine that this is what happened (because as a fandom we've tried to just fill in with fanon what feels like a blank left by the writers), but onscreen, in terms of the source material: it is false to say that “in the background you kind of see Morgana get more and more freaked out and isolated as the season progresses.”  It just doesn’t happen.

With the exception of "The Witchfinder," Morgana is never shown to be having any inner conflicts about her magic, not until 2.11.  Episodes 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10 - absolutely nothing.  There is one scene in 2.08 where she mentions having trouble sleeping, but then that issue is immediately resolved for her when Morgause gives her the healing bracelet and cures her nightmares.  There are no scenes of Morgana worrying about her magic.  No scenes of her needing help.  No scenes referencing her position as a person who is struggling with being a secret magic-user.  No scenes referencing her magic at all, in fact.  She is not shown to be getting more and more freaked out and isolated; rather she appears to have integrated back into her old life, comfortable now in the knowledge of who and what she is.  It’s like what she told Merlin at the end of 2.03: "I know now who I really am.  And it isn't something to be scared of.  Maybe one day people will come to see magic as a force for good."

And we can of course debate whether that was really an appropriate writing decision, to have Morgana be fine, fine, fine, until suddenly we hit 2.11 and it's like, 'oh, suddenly not fine,' but we also can't evaluate or judge Merlin based on a fanon image of what we imagine was happening in Season 2.  We can only evaluate him based on what actually happens onscreen (whether we feel like it was well-written or not), and what actually happens onscreen is that minus her fear in The Witchfinder, which Merlin already takes decisive actions to address, Morgana is not shown to be distressed or isolated or conflicted until we hit 2.11.  

She appears, as far as Merlin and the audience can see, to be doing just fine.

I’ve got to be clear on this: "Merlin just doesn't really talk to her again" is a loaded sentence, when the phenomenon we're really trying to describe is  "Merlin and Morgana have no scenes together."  It inherently assigns responsibility, agency, and blame for any non-interaction to Merlin, when there is nothing in canon to support that framing.

If Morgana wants to talk to Merlin, she can come talk to him.  She knows Merlin is on her side.  She is shown to trust and appreciate Merlin without reservation at the end of 2.03.  And even if she had been shown to be spiraling into a bad place in 2.04-2.10 (which, as discussed above, is not the case) she could have come to Merlin at any time.  It is literally not Merlin's responsibility to pursue Morgana and press her to talk to him.  He has done his due diligence.  He makes sure she knows he is on her side, that he supports her, that he believes her, that he will never reveal her secret.  And she is shown to believe him when he says that.  If she needs him, she knows she can approach him.  And if she chooses not to do that - then that is on her.

This is a tough pill for even the in-universe characters to swallow, but Merlin is not responsible for the well-being of every single person in Camelot.  It is not his job to make sure that every single person in his orbit is 100% okay at all times.  It is not his job to read his friends' minds, or anticipate every single one of their needs, or to offer himself to them constantly, repeatedly, every time he has a spare moment, especially when they seem (like Morgana from 2.04 to 2.10) to be doing well.  Merlin has already been placed in a position where he is expected to devote almost all of his energy to serving someone else's interests.  When we expect him to also worry about and monitor and manage the health and happiness of all the other people around him, we are perpetuating the same damaging narrative for which we criticize characters like Kilgharrah, Gaius, etc - that everything is on Merlin, and if he can’t manage to juggle it all, then the negative consequences that ensue are his fault. 

A personal illustration of how this would play out in real life:

I live with my sister.  I am a pretty stoic person.  And when something is the matter, I sometimes don't tell her about it.  I just pretend like everything is fine.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would listen to me and support me if I ever came to her with a problem, but sometimes I don't do that.  And if that’s the choice I make, then that’s fine, but I have to take responsibility for it.  It's not okay for me to get angry and BLAME her for not helping me, when I never gave her any indication that I needed help in the first place.

So - flipping the narrative, what if we reframed the original statement to an equally loaded but equally accurate “post 2.03, Morgana just doesn't talk to Merlin.”  The two of them go through a harrowing experience together, where Merlin takes deadly risks to try to help Morgana escape Camelot and find her true self, where he offers his continuing support to her after it's over, and then she just never takes him up on that offer.  She retreats back into her comfortable position as Uther's noble ward, and stops associating with Arthur's lowly servant.  When Merlin helps save Gwen from the bandits in 2.04, Morgana never thanks him.  When Merlin is framed for theft by Catrina and hunted down, she doesn't stand up for him or try to help him.  When Gaius is arrested and tortured by the Witchfinder, she never stops by to see how Merlin is doing and check if he's okay.  When she's approached by a total stranger who wants her to steal a "weapon" for him, she doesn’t talk to Merlin at all, but rather agrees to steals the Crystal of Neahtid without ANY understanding of what it actually does or what Alvarr's plans are for it, leaving Merlin completely in the dark about why she's suddenly sneaking around acting so strange and suspicious.

Think back to Season One.  When Gwen is accused of sorcery and sentenced to death, Merlin confesses himself in order to save her.  Despite enjoying none of the protections Morgana has as Uther’s ward, Merlin still confesses himself in order to protect a friend.  But when Merlin is accused of sorcery in 2.07 (and when Gaius is then sentenced to be executed), Morgana does nothing comparable.  She just lets them take the fall.  Merlin allows himself (and Gaius) to be accused, even though he could easily have ratted Morgana out instead, and Morgana, despite knowing that Merlin is keeping silent to protect her at his own expense, never says a word to defend him, or approaches Merlin about it afterwards.  She sees Merlin dragged out of the Council Chambers screaming after Gaius is sentenced to death, but she says nothing.  She knows Gaius is going to be burnt at the stake, but she does nothing, not even making her usual appeal to Arthur.  

Does that mean we should assume that she was being negligent?  That she was abandoning Merlin when he needed her most?

For clarity - I'm not saying that the answer to that question is yes.  I’m saying that I’ve never seen anybody assign intention/bad faith to Morgana when it comes to her non-interaction with Merlin from 2.04 to 2.10 (even though that particular read is actually far more justified by the text).  There is no reason to assign intention to Merlin, either.

Ultimately, I just want us to be aware that saying “Merlin just doesn’t really talk to her again” inherently assigns agency and blame to an agentless fact.  Morgana and Merlin not being on screen together from 2.04 to 2.10 =/= "Merlin just doesn't really talk to her."  The phrase "Morgana just doesn't really talk to him" is an equally true statement, but one we don't hear nearly as often, because in the Merlin-verse, everything is Merlin's responsibility.  And therefore, when there’s a problem, everything is Merlin's fault.

2) “pre 2X03 he goes along with Gaius in pretending to not believe that her visions are true giving her the sleeping draughts”

Okay, this is just my own opinion, but - I personally think it is unreasonable for us to expect Merlin to correct every single bad choice that the people around him make, and it's unfair to transfer the blame for other people's choices onto his shoulders.

If Gaius is making bad choices prior to 2.03, then they are Gaius's bad choices.  Merlin, in 1.07, has just arrived in Camelot within the last couple of months.  Gaius has lived in Camelot all his life, and has been dealing with Morgana for two decades and Uther for longer than that.  Gaius is a trained physician.  He is in a position of authority over Merlin, and he has far more experience with the royal family than Merlin does, and when he tells Merlin that the safest thing for Morgana right now is to help her sleep through the night without having potentially-prophetic nightmares, of course Merlin listens to him. 

But five minutes into 2.03, immediately after Merlin learns that Morgana actually has magic (not just dream-visions, which this show states to be a separate gift) he is arguing with Gaius, saying that "you need to be honest with her."  At the fifteen minute mark, he is in Morgana's chambers telling her how to find the Druids.  

I cannot get on board with transferring blame that belongs to other people and dumping it all on Merlin's overburdened shoulders.  He directly defies Gaius's orders so that he can help Morgana, as soon as it becomes apparent how serious her situation is.  He leads Camelot's army on a chase through the woods in an attempt to help her run away, putting himself at extreme personal risk to do so.  How would he explain that, if he were caught?  If he were seen?

He does more to help her with her gift than anyone, and he puts himself at risk of discovery and execution to do it.  The standards to which we hold him, and the number of responsibilities we expect him to assume, and the ways we hold him accountable for choices that other people in positions of power have made, even when he ultimately corrects their mistakes - are impossibly unreasonable, and they certainly aren't the same standards we use to evaluate Morgana’s actions.

3) “while I don't think Merlin owed outing himself to anyone IMO was a really nasty undercurrent in the writing of ‘crazy/hysterical woman with her volatile lady feelings can't be trusted’ even after he's known her for like a year compared to Lancelot, Gilli, Daegel etc. being a-okay.”

Comparing Morgana to Lancelot, Gilli, and Daegal as a way of saying that Merlin underrates Morgana's trustworthiness in favor of theirs doesn't make sense.

Merlin doesn't choose to out himself to Lancelot at all.  It's an accident.  

Merlin doesn't choose to out himself to Daegal, either.  He's put in a situation where it's either "use magic" or "we both die."

Gilli has a little more wiggle room in terms of "was this an active decision on Merlin's part," but it's also not accurate to interpret this situation as arising out of Merlin's personal desires/level of trust in Gilli as a person.   Merlin reveals himself because he feels like it is the only way to get through to someone who is going to get themselves killed looking for revenge.  (And I've written previously about how I think Merlin's choices in this situation are in fact directly influenced by the decisions he didn't make with Morgana, and how making the opposite choice here in an attempt to "do the ‘right’ thing this time" doesn't actually change the ultimate outcome, but that's neither here nor there.)

None of these three instances are moments where Merlin looks at these characters and goes, “these people seem way more trustworthy than that crazy, volatile lady i know; i’m gonna reveal myself to them!"  He is forced into all of these situations, against his will, and is outed either by accident or necessity.

Additionally - the above is really the more important counterpoint, but I do think it's worth mentioning that Morgana, as far as the closeness of her relationship with Merlin goes, also can't be meaningfully compared with the other three characters on this list because her position as a noble places her in a totally different category altogether.

Merlin legitimately likes Morgana in the early seasons, and he's thrilled to be her friend.  But Merlin is also class-conscious - he has to be, given his position in society; and moreover he's spent the first twenty years of his life being best friends with a dude who is both hyperaware of and hypervocal about the inequalities of the current social system.  Merlin is ALWAYS aware that Morgana is on a different level than he is, and he is perfectly justified in being slightly more reticent around people who aren't cut from his own cloth, in the same way he is justified in being slightly more careful around Arthur, who also leverages his power and privilege whenever "equality" becomes inconvenient for him.

Take the comparison between Lancelot and Morgana, for example.  Merlin has known Lancelot for slightly less time than Morgana (Merlin meets Lancelot in 1.05), but he cleaves to Lancelot more quickly, and it is only natural that Merlin would do so.  Merlin is a peasant farmer.  He is literally as low on the social ladder as you can get without being one of the itinerant poor.  Morgana is, in essence, a princess, and Merlin isn't wrong for feeling more comfortable around Lancelot than he is around her, because Morgana, for all that she is generous-minded with the servants, is SO far above the level of people Merlin is used to associating with, and she has SO much more influence than he does - it's a power differential that can't be erased, no matter how friendly Morgana is with him.  And it’s a dynamic that isn't limited to Morgana, either - it exists between Merlin and Arthur, too.  

This is an element of the show that I don't necessarily see discussed often when it comes to Morgana and Merlin (and Gwen, for that matter), and most of the time it seems to be ignored in favor of like...“Morgana doesn't see class!  She's friends with Gwen and she's friends with Merlin!"  And I'm not disputing that she considers herself to be friends with them at first, but I also am not going to pretend that she doesn't then weaponize her class against them as soon as the situation changes.

In S3, she leverages her privileged position to threaten Merlin with execution if he tries to reveal her misdeeds, because she knows that no one will believe a servant even if he tells the truth ("Just think how Uther would react if he learnt that a serving boy had tried to poison his beloved ward").  She is horrified at her vision of Gwen taking the throne in 3.10, saying "How can that be?  She's a servant."  She mockingly calls Gwen "My lady" when capturing her in 5.06, and, when offering Gwen a drink of water, says, "Is it too good for you now that you're queen?"  She scathingly criticizes Helios’s capture of Merlin in 4.06, saying, "And you bring me how many men?  Or should I say how many servants?"  She tells Merlin, "You are Arthur's servant, nothing more" later in that same episode.  She dispenses with all semblances of equality with Gwen in late Season 2 whenever Gwen's in the way, instead snapping at her, ordering her around, and booting her out of the room.  And in "The Dark Tower," she drags Gwen behind her on a rope.

Morgana in the early seasons is committed to an "I'm not going to lord my social status over my lower-class friends!" attitude.  But that doesn't mean her social status doesn’t exist, or that the power differential has vanished.  And when the chips are down - when Morgana feels like she's getting less than she "deserves" but her former servants are getting more than they themselves do - she falls back on the power she has as a noble.  The ways in which Morgana interacts with Merlin and Gwen, after Morgana's falling out with Camelot, don't manifest as just "you betrayed me and we're not friends anymore," they express themselves in ways that specifically target Merlin and Gwen's "lowly" status, in comparison to Morgana's lofty one.

4) “I also hate the Merlin and Gaius talk in 2X12 where they more or less write her off as using her powers for eviiiiil when she hadn't consciously used her powers for ANYTHING yet.”

I suppose this could be subject to personal interpretation, but I’m pretty sure Gaius and Merlin think Morgana was consciously aware that she was the source of the magic.

They don't know that she wasn't consciously involved.  The audience doesn't even know that, frankly.  What Morgana is actually aware of is left undefined by the show.  (I personally always got the vibe that Morgana obviously knows it has something to do with the agreement she and Morgause made, but that she doesn't exactly understand the details of how it's working.)  But that's still never actually stated.

Merlin, (after Kilgharrah tells him the magic is coming from Morgana), assumes she is aware of what's happening.  And I personally think it’s impressive that even given this, he covers for her the entire episode.  At first he doesn't even suspect she has anything to do with it at all, not even after what she did in the previous ep - he makes up that story about Gaius having given her a potion to cover for her, assuming her magic is what's keeping her awake.  It's not until Kilgharrah tells him what's going on that he realizes the truth, and EVEN THEN, he continues to lie for her.  

If she was afraid - if she was in over her head - if she regretted her actions and wanted to change her mind - she could have confessed to Merlin and asked him for help.  Literally everyone in Camelot was incapacitated, and as far as Merlin knew, Morgana’s plan was to let them all die.  It's not that I'm happy about Merlin's choice to poison her, and neither is Merlin - but I'm also not comfortable blaming him to the exclusion of Morgana or critiquing him for feeling like Morgana did something bad.  She did do something bad!  She made her own choices.  Merlin didn't make them for her.  

Erasing Morgana’s responsibility erases her agency.  She makes decisions to get where she is in 2.12.  She makes an agreement to help Morgause without doing her research and without getting the details about what would actually happen to the people around her, just like she made an agreement to help Alvarr retrieve the Crystal of Neahtid without finding out what it actually was or how Alvarr planned to use it.  Merlin didn't make Morgana do any of those things.  

Re: the Merlin+Gaius talk in 2.12 - I personally don't read that conversation with Gaius as Merlin "writing [Morgana] off."  

Merlin doesn't think Morgana is irredeemably evil.  He apologizes to Morgana when she returns in 3.01.  Even when she displays shame and self-recrimination about her own actions, he doesn't say one word condemning her for anything she did in the last season.  All he feels is sympathy for her suffering.  He tells her, sincerely, "I am so sorry for everything you've been through."  He holds absolutely no grudge for what she did in 2.12.  None.  

And even when he finds out she's betraying them again - he first approaches her as a friend.  He begs her to stop.  He tells her, "It doesn't have to be like this.  We can find another way."  He answers "no" when she asks him if he believes she deserves to be executed for who she is.  Even as she's trying to kill them all.

And when she snaps, "Good!" in response to his statement that women and children are dying and the city will fall, he responds, "You don't mean that."  That is not the response of someone who's already written her off as evil.  He doesn't believe she wants all this violence.  He is trying to reach her.

She doesn't ever reach back.  And that is not Merlin's fault.

5) kilgharrah indiscriminately kills people

I don't think I can really address Kilgharrah in any meaningful way, because personally I don’t feel like dragons operate on or can be evaluated by human moral standards.  Other folks can take a different tack with this, obviously; there's no canon information one way or another.  That's just my own personal approach.

6) “[Kilgharrah] and Merlin are bros again by 3X02 but Morgause and Morgana and Kara killing knights and guards (who work for Uther/Arthur) are OMG murderers, have crossed a line, etc.”

Okay, look, let’s be honest here - this issue is a real philosophical question raised by the show, but Morgause and Morgana are not just killing knights and guards.  Morgana, with Morgause at her right hand, literally orders her crossbowmen to murder a bunch of civilians in the street, as if shooting fish in a barrel.  She tells her forces to “burn [the people’s] crops.”  She raids Ealdor, a poor peasant village that isn’t even within Camelot’s borders, at the end of Season 4, and at the beginning of Season 5, Morgana’s Saxon army is attacking innocent peasant villages in Annis’s kingdom and capturing the villagers to be taken as slave labor to Ismere.  Later in Season 5, Morgana kills other magic-users like Finna and Alator, who have been just as wronged by Arthur/Uther as she herself has been.

Kara - I've already written extensively about how she did nothing wrong and Arthur deserved to be deposed, so...same page there!

To wrap this up -

Nobody does everything right in this show.  Everybody screws up somewhere.  And the degree to which various people are both victims and villains is something we all have to decide for ourselves, and not all of our conclusions will be the same, which is perfectly fine.

But in the end, for me, the difference between Merlin and Morgana is that Merlin owns his choices.  He believes he is the one to blame for what happens not just to him, but to the people around him.  He literally says to Morgana, "I blame myself for what you've become."  And while I don't necessarily think that's even true, he certainly does.  Despite the fact that there are so many factors limiting him and forcing his hand and trapping him into certain courses of action, he never cites those factors as excuses, or seems to recognize their existence at all.  He takes responsibility for himself, regardless of any extenuating circumstances.  He looks back at his choices, and he feels remorse for some of them, and at the end of the day, when things go badly, he blames himself.  

But when things go badly for Morgana, she only ever blames others.  When something is wrong, it's because Merlin or Arthur or Gwen or whoever didn't help her (even though she never asked them for help in the first place.)  We never see her acknowledge a mistake or regret a decision, even though she obviously makes her fair share of bad ones.  She is never shown to be sorry for anything.  The closest we get to remorse is her interaction with Mordred in 5.09 ("I hope one day you find the love and compassion which used to fill your heart"), and that brief moment of inner conflict never goes anywhere (which is so unfortunate, as a writing decision, but again, in a piece like this, I can only evaluate what actually happened onscreen, not what I wish had happened).

So, all this being said, I personally am very careful about assigning more blame to Merlin than what he already assigns to himself - especially when he doesn't deserve it (for example, see Part 1 of this piece).  Merlin makes his share of mistakes, but we are generally much quicker to hold him accountable than we are Morgana, and we outline impossible expectations for him that we don't expect from any other character on this show.  We hold him to a different standard, one which is, frankly, pretty much in line with how he's treated in the canon: that everything is his responsibility, and when things don't work out, everything is his fault.  And I can’t get behind that mindset, because a) it isn’t fair to him, and b) I don’t think it holds up under scrutiny.