#He is still a cute lad :) I never really got into his backstory hugely but I know he's got a huge phobia of fire

[sysig]

Old OC spotlight alert: It’s Nequam! Ft. his girlfriend Ruby (and also Papyrus for funsies lol) (Patreon)

[eri-cheri]

Now that we have reached the last chapter of the year. It is time to do a 2020 roll call of what I like to call, “State of the Shippers”:

1. IzuOcha. Status: Placated.

-IzuOcha’s could celebrate several cute tidbits throughout the year. Mini moments as they say.

Anime Highlights: The OVA’s came in clutch with moments for shippers all around and IzuOcha is no exception. We got a cute tidbit where Izuku and Ochako bumped into each other and were flustered.

Manga Highlights: Christmas kept on giving to this fandom as the AM doll Izuku gave Ochako made many appearances. A cute fist bump between the two was also exchanged and Mina was right there bouncing with y’all.

Heroes Rising: Izuku super man carried Ochako to safety. And was Angy she was injured. Fans could enjoy the small Lois Lane moment.

Troubling Signs?: Ochako said “I would like to be excluded from this narrative” when it comes to her feelings for Deku. She’s a hero damnit! So if they are in for something, probably won’t be while they are still in school.

II. DabiHawks. Status: Yikes.

- Dabi and Hawk’s very public breakup set this fandom in disarray but also kind of disayay?

Anime Highlights: None yet. This fandom was cruelly cock blocked by Bones. Sorry DabiHawks stans.

Manga Highlights: Where to begin, my goodness. With these fans, I guess the good and the bad is a plus in this homoerotic double agent relationship. We have the notion that Dabi may have known Hawks when they were kids, which may be a positive? Hori sure loves his childhood friends. Other than that. The GIRLS WERE FIGHTIN’. Hawks is now permanently scarred by Dabi and I don’t think it was kinky folks. Tokoyami inserted himself in the middle to White Knight Hawks, Dabi broke up with him via YT expose and overall, shippers could anguish in the absolute MESS that this ship endured this year. But I’m sure that’s part of the appeal. So...yay?

Heroes Rising: They were both in it.

Troubling Signs?: The entire relationship is a troubling sign which again, is part of the appeal. Maybe Hawks will cuddle up with Dabi’s father after the war. That’s troubling! Speaking of...

III. EndHawks. Status: Yearning and Burning.

-If there’s one thing Endeavor couldn’t stop worrying about, it was his hot (in more ways than one) new side piece who probably should have looked at the fine print when signing a contract to be a recurring guest star on “Keeping up with the Todoroki’s”.

Anime Highlights: A fateful meeting finally in high definition for all our eyes to see! Hawks’s unwavering support of his biggest hero was endearing to watch and their shenanigans together spurred the anime onlies to finally jump on the biggest May-December ship in the series.

Manga Highlights: Endeavor’s admiration and concern for Hawks seeped through the pages as we entered our most exciting arc in the manga yet. Fate split these two up yet entwined their downfall together. And that Fate’s name was Dabi...or should I say ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️ or should I just say Touya!

Heroes Rising: “Don’t bite my head off, Endeavor.” Geez, can you flirt a little less loud Hawks?

Troubling Signs?: They say never meet your heroes and Hawks is in for a rude awakening. We shall see just how deep his admiration runs or if Endeavor’s past will split our dynamic duo up for good.

IV: TodoDeku. Status: “Precious”

-Shoto’s “Midoriya is in Danger” radar was highlighted in both manga and anime. 4th User’s quirk, who?

Anime Highlights: “Midoriya hasn’t returned yet.” “Where’s Midoriya?” “Midoriya! Grab my hand!” “Have some of my Soba Midoriya.” Shoto gets it. His emotional support friend is a danger magnet. TodoDeku’s also enjoyed tiny tidbits in the OVA such as a hand grabbing scene. Gotta hold tight to those crumbs.

Manga Highlights: Two Words. “Precious Friend.” Deku comes in w/o arms or legs fighting for Shoto and Shoto’s honor. These two spent the entire year worried sick about each other, and going against all odds to save each other. Precious Friends indeed. TDDK fans ate.

Heroes Rising: Shoto kicks some dog ass and then faints thinking of Deku (and Bakugo but shh. Let the shippers rejoice.) On the bright side, we have a 3rd movie coming featuring “The Three Musketeers” so shippers of TdDk can HOLD TIGHT to what’s to come.

Troubling Signs?: Shoto still doesn’t know about OFA and he’s gonna have LOTS of questions after this arc. Will Deku finally tell him? If not, it could make or break the ship.

V. TodoBaku. Status: “Shining through the city with a little funk and soul.”

-Who knew the greatest comedy duo we needed was Shoto and his hot headed “friend” or not friend? It still remains unclear to Shoto. Regardless, these two had a fun year.

Anime Highlights: “I wanna see your cute face”, disco dancing, and more fun in the provisional license training. Plus the OVA added some cute moments between the two such as Bakugo staying behind to save Todoroki during a dangerous excercise and his adorable plan neatly animated for us. I’d say TodoBaku’s really were resurgent and energized this year!

Manga Highlights: Shoto, that is not how you properly Catch a Kacchan, I’m sorry. But at least you did it you mad lad. As with Deku, Shoto spent the year worried sick about Bakugo. While the anime let us have our fun, these two were suffering in the manga.

Heroes Rising: Again, Shoto put a dog down and then fainted with Bakugo on his mind (and Deku but we ignore that. Shush.) TodoBaku’s have the 3rd movie to look forward to which is bound to have some amazing content!

Troubling Signs?: They have a lot of trauma to deal with. And a lot of Deku to worry about. I also imagine Shoto will be hurt about being left out of the OFA secret. We shall see what 2021 has to offer.

VI. KiriMina. Status: Unbreakable.

-Changing your hairstyle to match the gal who inspired you in middle school? Sorry y’all but if Mina were a guy, I’d say that’s gay af.

Anime Highlights: We got that backstory Bois. Red Riot’s origin might as well make him be called Pink Riot. Again with Hori and the childhood friends though I wouldn’t exactly call them friends. They just went to the same middle school but Kirishima was highly influenced by Mina’s Chivalrous spirit! A ship is born!

Manga Highlights: The influence is mutual! Mina creates a move based on Kirishima’s unbreakable and we all let out a collective “awwww”. Also in the war arc, we got Kirishima making sure Mina’s chivalrous spirit shines through right into Gigantomachia’s mouth! KiriMina may just be the unsung MVP’s of this arc.

Heroes Rising: They were in it.

Troubling Signs?: I can’t think of a single one. KiriMina’s can enjoy a peaceful sailing.

VII: KiriBaku. Status: Crumb Collectors.

-2020 was an uneventful year for KiriBaku but Bones made sure there were crumbs aplenty! Thank God for OVA’s!

Anime Highlights: KiriBaku’s did thrive in one episode! Kirishima reflects on the sludge incident and evolves his quirk based on inspiring words from Bakugo! Hooray! KiriBaku’s can thrive in their blossoming friendship. The OVA also has Kirishima (and Kaminari but shh) once again following Bakugo’s lead when it comes to the training excercise. How can you not? He’s so manly!

Manga Highlights: Not gonna lie. There is nothing much here this year. I did find a teeny tiny flake in Aizawa’s flashback. Kirishima and Bakugo are sitting next to each other. Oh! And at the hot pot gathering, Bakugo sits next to Kirishima! Eat your crumbs KiriBaku’s! There’s always next year!

Heroes Rising: Kirishima hangs with a lazy Bakugo and delivers the most hilarious line in the whole movie. “Silly Bakugo, there won’t be villains here!” Hahah... Silly Bakugo. Oh you~ KiriBaku’s can inhale the fact that those two sure love to hover around each other!

Troubling Signs?: With great crumbs come little responsiblity. No trouble if there’s no content! 🤔

VIII: KamiJirou. Status: Singing their hearts out 🎶

-If there’s any ship that’s coming close to canonization, I think this is it, folks! “Think of the person most important to you!” Can’t argue with Midnight!

Anime Highlights: Kaminari does non stop encouraging of Jirou and her hobbies! He works super hard to learn guitar for her sake! We love a king who can encourage his queen!

Manga Highlights: Kaminari thinks of the most important person to him and surprise! It’s Jirou! All of the feels can commence.

Heroes Rising: They were in it!

Troubling Signs?: Kaminari does love his women. And men. Kaminari overall is a huge flirt. But Jirou appears to have his heart strings. ❤���

IX: BakuDeku. Status: Rising. 👑

-Alternative Statuses include Winning, Thriving, Soaring. It’s just been non stop content this year. 2020 is truly the year for BakuDeku. The shippers can rejoice.

Anime Highlights: Three words. Be. My. Cane. The OVA’s helped fan the flames of the BkDk hearts with a surprise! Deku tops! Not only that, we got a lovely shoulder tap of encouragement in the canon material. While in season 4, Deku’s primary focus was Eri. Bakugo and Deku still had their moments to be hella gay.

Manga Highlights: Where do I even begin? I guess we’ll just cut to the chase with Bakugo Katsuki: Rising. We finally saw Bakugo’s true feelings manifest for Deku and if getting stabbed for him isn’t the ultimate showing of love, then idk what is. BakuDeku’s rounded out the year with the Volume 29 cover AND the volume 29 cover drafts to eat at our heart strings. Overall, their relationship got the spotlight in the manga this year. And we’re bound to start 2021 with a dramatic confrontation. Hand holding seems to be the key with these two and it didn’t stop with Heroes Rising...speaking of.

Heroes Rising: The entire movie. Like....yeah. That’s it. [OP, your bias is showing. You have to be SPECIFIC.] {But random criticizer in my head, if I lay out the entire plot of the movie, my post will be too long} [OP....] UGHHHH Okay okay. The POPSICLE MELTING. THE HAND HOLDING. THE CHARACTER DESIGNS OF WHAT MIGHT AS WELL BE THEIR LOVE CHILDREN. Did I mention? “It’s fine if it’s you?” CAUSE YEAH. Oh and All Might randomly officiating their wedding in their heads like idk. Isn’t it just simpler if I say the whole movie??!

Troubling Signs?: Well these two’s relationship is extremely delicate and while it has non stop soared this year, Deku might not take too kindly to Bakugo almost dying for him. Will they stop pushing each other away? Time will tell.

That’s all for this year folks! Happy Shipping and good luck to everyone next year!

[ghastlyblush]

gently thanks oda for making perona’s backstory vague so that i can just... scoop it up and write it for myself >:) cute perona facts under the cut lads!!! <3 definitely a wip but i’ve been thinking about this alllll day and it’s getting in the way of me doing homework LMAO

ORIGINS / FAMILY:

perona was born in the west blue and was the first and only daughter of carmine enzo,  who at the time was an underboss for the luciano family, for one of the five families of the west. she was more or less dropped on his doorstep and to this day,  has no idea who her mother is.

she was endlessly spoiled and acquired a fondness for animals at a young age. perona was never close with her father as he was often busy with “work” related responsibilities.  he often bought her gifts instead of spending time with her. 

kumae was her first and most cherished pet---  she got him as a present from her father for her 4th birthday.

in the same year, perona stumbled across the horo horo fruit.  after acquiring her devil fruit powers,  she practiced astral projection by following maids around her house. eventually,  she began listening in on her father’s meetings but was too young to understand the context. 

despite being given everything she had asked for,  perona was always a lonely child.  she often set up tea parties with her and her hundreds of stuffed animals. she rarely got to spend time with other children,  especially after acquiring her devil fruit powers.  still struggling to understand the scope of her abilities,  she used a negative hollow on another child by accident.

when the rest of the Family found out about perona’s devil fruit power,  they approached enzo in hopes of being able to use her to gain an upper hand on the other families.  he refused,  unwilling to let his daughter get involved with family business at such a young age.  

this refusal would eventually lead the family to order a hit out on enzo.  predicting this,  he sent perona into hiding along with a couple of maids.  they were quickly found,  but using her negative hollows,  perona was able to secure a quick escape.  

eventually,  she would meet gecko moria who would adopt her as his own.  at age 12,  she would officially become a part of the thriller bark pirates. the fate of her biological father and her maids have never been determined,  but she is pretty much certain that her father was taken out. 

PERSONALITY: 

perona is very much what one would call...  an insufferable brat.  even in moria’s custody,  she was spoiled to all hell.  she huffs and pouts and hates being told what to do.  still,  she has a very playful personality and derives great pleasure from teasing people.  she’s cruel in this sense.  there’s nothing she loves more than to see someone squirm.

perona has a very strong sense of loyalty,  whether that be to moria or mihawk,  but she is quick to cover it up,  despite them both being a father figure to her.  despite this,  she can still play nice if she wants to.  if you’re able to win her over,  she will pretty much bend over backwards to try and make a person happy ( mostly in the form of gift giving as she relates this with affection u o u )

she is overly emotional,  often going from angry to sad to happy all in a few seconds.  perona is definitely over dramatic and self-aggrandizing.  it takes quite a lot to hurt her feelings,  as her self confidence is through the roof.  perona also gets snippy if she doesn’t get enough attention.  she is easily disarmed by anything she deems cute.  perona is also very good with children!!!!   

having grown up quite the lonely child,  perona gets attached to people very easily,  but at the same time,  she harbors some level of suspicion whenever someone is nice to her.  her aggressive nature is really just a way to keep herself safe.  she’s been alone for so many periods in her life that it’s easier to act a lil feral than it is to let people in.  

when shown kindness,  her knee jerk reaction is to reject it,  but you can rest assured that she’ll take it to heart.  honestly,  she’ll never admit it but she’s very sentimental!!!  perona cherishes every second she spends with people that she cares about.  she might be a huge brat but any displays of caring or affection,  no matter how small,  truly means a lot to her. 

[professorspork]

i know I always say this, but, last night REALLY WAS the BUSIEST OF DAYS in the Reaper War

before I get into yesterday’s gameplay, I realized I forgot to react to the fact that Jacob got Brynn pregnant, which -- again, I suppose that wraps up everything about his backstory in a nice little bow, lad of the bad dad gets to be good dad, but like... it still gives like they gave his character incredibly short shrift. so. humbug to that.

but I have bigger fish to fry (ha ha, literally, see what I did there?) because ALL OF THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE, AND ALL OF THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. I rescued Ann Bryson, and learned that -- shocker -- she had a bad relationship with her dad. I uh may have condoned her getting a bit of a nasty nose bleed in order to track the Leviathan to Despoina, where as ever I got to read a bunch of people’s weirdly specific sad diaries. my jump into the depths was very cool and scary (does no one get the bends in the future???) and I enjoyed my The First-style body swapping conversation with the Leviathan in which I tried to prove I’m ~special and this time is ~different. on the one hand, I don’t know why I expected the origin of the Reapers to be anything other than yet another story of AI gone wrong, but this whole cinematic parallels thing is starting to edge out of “everything matches up and is of a piece” territory and into the murkier waters of “we kind of only had one idea, actually.” to reveal that the Reapers’ plan is just stray AI code to ‘preserve life’ is at once very chilling and a bit of a let down; when I think back to when I talked to Sovereign for the first time and I had my initial “GOD IS A MACHINE THAT WANTS TO KILL US” freak out, I was in fact very on board for an evil plan too broad and complex for a human mind to fathom. for it to be this feels kind of predictable and pedestrian.

that said, watching the Leviathan take down a huge-ass Reaper capital ship with its pulse signal was very satisfying.

oh no this is going to get very long, now that you’ve had this fun teaser i’m gonna put the rest under a cut

then we kicked it on over to Thessia and I highkey traumatized my girlfriend. I feel like I should have seen the reveal that the asari were more advanced because they were hoarding prothean tech coming, but I didn’t. hearing and seeing all the asari commandos helping me get wiped out was a real gut punch, but didn’t hold a candle to my frustration at the confrontation with Kai Leng. I’m not mad that the game wouldn’t let me beat him, per se (though I still think it’s ridiculous that I’ve taken down a Reaper by myself and I’m supposed to be afraid of a dude with a knife), but I am pissed that it all happened with combat cut scene magic. this game has given me difficult combat before! if, in fighting Kai Leng, I’d genuinely felt outmatched, I think I would have tolerated it better -- or if the combat had been me fighting the Harvesters and then Kai Leng sneaked around me because that’s what he does, he sneaks. but to have such a relatively easy combat sequence with him that felt very much like winning just to have it snatched away from me... maddening. WHY CAN’T I BEAT THIS ONE GUY AND HIS KNIFE? I don’t want to be all “Kai Leng is a Mary Sue” but like... he got to murder Thane and then beat me in overtime, and his entire vibe is I exist to sell action figures even though that’s not, as far as I know, any part of Mass Effect’s profit model. so it’s just frustrating. and for them to then rub salt in the wound and have him EMAIL ME to be like “lol snowflake r u triggered” was just. MY PATIENCE IS THIN, ME3. DON’T PUSH ME.

seeing Shepard have to admit to failure was a gutting scene, though, and a necessary one. and watching Liara fight with Javik was highkey satisfying, too. 

so anyway, because i was BIG MAD at Cerberus I tracked them first to that one N7 communications mission-- 

(Sample dialogue: Helen: Why aren’t you using cover? You’re going to die! Use cover! Me, jumping out of cover and rushing Cerberus goons trying to melee them to death: BECAUSE I’M MAD)

-- and then to Sanctuary, and HOO BOY WAS THAT A LOT OR WHAT. from the second I heard Oriana’s voice I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here, but seeing in in practice was still creepy af. and like. i’m just gonna go out on a limb and say INDOCTRINATION BAD. I AM NOT A FAN. shout out to that one capitalist volus on the Citadel who was like “lol sanctuary is a scam don’t waste your money” i guess

additionally, last night was significant because I picked not one but TWO ENTIRE renegade convince options, because I saw no reason to be nice to terrorist daddy the illusive man or actual terrorist daddy Mr. Lawson. after I got through all that, Helen explained to me how difficult it apparently is to keep Miranda alive by the end of that confrontation, so I got to do some WHAT LIKE IT’S HARD? preening at how Nice Sheps Finish First sometimes. 

but as usual, the real highlight is getting to know my crew better and talking with them. I finally got some prime flirting in with Liara during Leviathan. it was VERY cute when she was like “man what’s with you rescuing damsels from dig sites? if you end up teaming up with her to save the world and bring down the shadow broker i’ll be very jealous. ... and concerned” and WEIRDLY CUTER when she was like “hey the only tentacled alien who gets to mess with your brain is ME” because Liara is like 115 by now considering how slowly i’m getting through these missions and she still does not know what romance is. 

[no but seriously, Liara does not know what romance is. half the time I’m still going WE’RE STILL DATING, RIGHT? every time she refuses to talk to me. and even after Thessia, when everyone was like “go talk to Liara, she needs you” and even JAVIK of all people was like “you’re dating Liara, right? it’s so obvious” our interactions did not feel particularly... romantic? it’s a tricky needle to thread, obviously, I’m not looking for sloppy makeouts right after millions of her people died, but it still reads as very odd to me. anyway.]

Javik’s story about how he once had a ship like the Normandy and a crew of friends like mine and they all ended up indoctrinated and he had to personally slit their throats went way harder than I ever expected it to. even just the IDEA of having to do that as my Shep upsets me. i’m legit enjoying getting to know Javik, even though i’m still GuessWhoJustGotYelledAt.jpg every time I leave his room. I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT FROM KREIA, JAVIK, YOU’LL NEVER PUSH ME AWAY.

I was surprised by how hard Tali took Miranda’s successful challenge of Mr. Lawson, though in hindsight it makes sense -- with the geth war still happening on top of everything else, I don’t think Tali ever did get the chance to process her anger at her dad being a war criminal and all. and her whole “emergency induction port” bit about the straw was cute as hell tbh. her friendship with Garrus over the comms continues to give me life. 

(in other quarian news, I AM SAD ABOUT KAL’REEGER.)

and jeff. JEFF. after Thessia i literally ran to the bridge and said aloud “Jeff, make me feel better” as I clicked interact with him, and then he made that dig about asari dancers, and i was like NO NOT LIKE THAT. (I mean, what Shep literally said was “now’s not the time for jokes” which is ironic considering she, unlike me, still calls him JOKER) but then he was all DAD ANDERSON SAID I’M SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, I’M SORRY, I’M DOING MY BEST and like. what a fucked up little family we are. he feels guilty that I died saving him, still! apparently he asks EDI about my stress levels and they are BAD and he feels BAD! im crey. OH AND ALSO THE FACT THAT PTSD ASARI LAURA BAILEY WAS TALKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY ON TIPTREE AND I CAN NEVER TELL HIM BECAUSE THE GAME DOESN’T LET ME DO THAT???? V UPSETTING.

and then of course EDI had to TRIPLE DOWN on all these feelings i was already having by telling me about human resistance and selflessness on Earth and how she wants to turn off her self-preservation code because she’s not about that. I’M SUCH A TOASTER FUCKER HALP.

Garrus being all “well sometimes your best friend gives you a pep talk” speech was cute as hell, and I was strangely charmed when Kaidan was like YOU CAN TELL I’M EXTRA MAD BECAUSE MY VOICE HAS GOTTEN SO DEEP grumbling.

next up: shore leave, and then going after Cerberus will trigger act 3! i may one day finish mass effect after all!

[ununniliad]

Burst Beetle Tweseveny #6: “2007: The Mother of Necessity and a Short Backstory of Time!“

Content warning: suicide, toxic relationships, murder, and just a bunch of depressing stuff! Also, unreality.

<<<*>>>

Tweseveny smiles, watching Time-Waster Lad and Mother Time head down to the LNHQ's cafeteria, and turns to the Time Crapper, rubbing her hands. Time to friendship this motherfucker!

"So," she says, sitting down on the comfy couch next to Time Crapper I - but for now, he's the only Time Crapper she's got, so she'll just call him that! "Can I ask you a few questions, time-travelling net.villain to time-travelling net.villain?" Her disguise is perfect!

"Certainly, but... I figured you'd know all about me, having met me in your past - so you said." The Time Crapper seems just a touch skeptical! Oh shoot! Time to prevaricate!

"Well, uh, it was clear that we'd talked a lot in your past, so I decided to avoid a time paradox by waiting until I met past-you!" Her logic is flawless!!

"...yeah, that's the kind of nonsense I've been running into." The Time Crapper sighs, leaning back, putting his feet up on the coffee table before them. Ooooh, what a villain move! "Ask away, please."

Yesssss. Let's take it back to where this relationship must've started... "How did you get started off as a net.villain? Did it have anything to do with getting the Ring of Retcon?"

"The what, now?" says the Time Crapper, tilting his head a bit. "Uh, no. I..." He taps his arm. "A lot of my past isn't there anymore. When I used the Rung of Revamp... well, anyway. I still remember why I did this. Still remember... her." He looks longingly off towards the doorway Mother Time walked down, and slips into a gentle monologue.

"We met at a physics lecture. Time travel, of course. She was wearing..." His shadowed face seems to show a soft smile. "This mismatched outfit that didn't make any sense, and  these glasses that would have looked dowdy on anyone but her... and Lisa Loeb." He chuckles. "And she was even more beautiful than Lisa Loeb."

"Awwww!" Tweseveny claps her hands! Yes good, cute backstory, excellent place to start!

The Time Capper smiles and nods. "Yes... there was a Q&A at the end, and she asked a couple of amazing questions about what was possible. Things I'd never thought of before. And after the lecture was over, I found her, just wanting to mention how good those questions were... And, well, we fell to talking."

"She was so into the idea of time travel. I was into physics because I was good at it, but she talked about all the things she'd do with it, all the things she'd get. And she seemed like the kind of person... the kind of person who deserved them, because she was forward, and powerful, and beautiful."

"Gosh," says Tweseveny, admiringly. Okay, she thinks, that “deserve" thing sounds like it might go in a bit of a Bad direction, but that's exactly what she's here to help with!

"We started talking a lot... I guess I didn't have a whole lot of other people to talk to, it's... hard to remember, really. And I got... enchanted with the idea of making time travel real. She made the idea feel so alive."

"Awwww." This is super swee--

"So I ended up stealing an experimental pinpoint wormhole generator, and the campus's sample of the Sands of the Ancient Days, and using my experimental physics theories, combined them into the Hourglass of wReamThermodynamics."

...okay, so, that's less sweet, thinks Tweseveny. And stealing is bad. But a lot of net.villain backstories are like this, so let's see where this is going.

"And I came to her and offered to show her all of time. And we had a good time, for a while, but..."

"But?" says Tweseveny, folding her hands on her knee in a 'listening' pose. Okay, getting to the meat of the problem!

"She didn't really want to see things, she wanted to have things." He shrugs, putting his hand on the back of his neck. "I loved seeing the pyramids being built, Florence at the height of the Renaissance, Woodstock from the front row. But she's not like me. She doesn't care about the past. She wants tomorrow." He reaches out, into space, closing his fingers. "In her hands."

"So we started doing some crimes, freezing time, stealing stuff, bringing it back to the hotel. Playing tricks on people. Messing with time, even. But..." He shakes his head. "It wasn't enough for her. And we had a fight, and we broke up, and..." He pulls in a huge breath, sighs. "I realized, or felt like I realized, that I'd been wrong. That she deserved all of the things she was asking for, of course."

"Ah, I don't..." That definitely doesn't sound true - but how to say it without sounding like a jerk? Oh lord, thinks Tweseveny, friendshipping villains is harder than I thought!

And it seems that the Time Crapper hasn't noticed the interruption! "I wished I could just go back and undo what I'd said, the mistakes I'd made. Do it right this time. And then, I realized... I could."

"Ah," says Tweseveny. Oh boy, thinks Tweseveny.

"I went back to shortly after we first met, and found myself, and, well..." He sighs. "I absorbed that timeline. And ended up feeling all those painfully strong emotions again, all the desire and need and hope from when we first met."

"Sounds hard," says Tweseveny, hoping that, at the very least, commiseration will help.

"Yeah. It was." His voice is harsh, thick, but he clears his throat and continues. "Anyway, I found her and introduced myself as the Time Taker, and said I wanted her to be my partner in crime. She laughed, looked me over, took a sniff, and said, 'More like the Time Crapper'. And I said, 'Okay, the Time Crapper then.' And, I don't know, she seemed... impressed by how willing I was to go along with what she said?"

"And we started stealing things, and making plans to steal bigger things, and I just kept following her lead. And it was good for a while, and then she was like... hey, I'm in charge here, the Hourglass should be mine." He shrugs. "And, well, I was trying to give her what she wanted, so I gave it to her. She started calling herself Mother Time, and used the Hourglass to get even more powerful temporal devices. And went up against the LNH, and, well, lost." He shakes his head, lost in his thoughts. "And you know, it happens. We'd been keeping under the LNH's radar before, but her new plans were bigger than that, and she wouldn't just take the loss and keep going. She broke into the Brenton Island Nuclear Power Plant, trying to make the Hourglass more powerful... and she took a lethal dose of radiation and died."

Tweseveny grimaced. "Oh, I'm... so sorry."

"Yeah. And..." The Time Crapper's voice wavered, turned husky. "I knew it was my fault. If I hadn't let her charge off alone like that, she wouldn't... she would still have..."

At least Tweseveny knew what to do here - moving over, and wrapping the Time Crapper in a tight hug, ignoring the screams of protest from her nose.

"..." The Time Crapper seems to waver on the edge of some kind of defensive anger, some net.villainous outburst... but instead, releases it, and relaxes into the hug. After a few moments, Tweseveny lets go, and the Crapper sits up. "I was at my worst moment, and contemplated... well. Dark things. I couldn't see a path forward..." He sighs, that deep husky pain flowing out of him. "But, in the end, I managed to pull myself out of it."

"Ohhhh?" queries Tweseveny, hoping...

"Literally. I-- that is, the Time Crapper-- came to me, to whoever I'd been when I wasn't him, and without speaking, gave me the Hourglass, and vanished." The Time Crapper leaned back, contemplatively. "If not for that... I might not have continued."

...oh. Oh no. It's all coming together now in Tweseveny's head; to avoid the pain of loss, he had sucked himself back into this cycle, again and again.

"So I decided to... well, try and help her with those problems," says the Time Crapper. "Proactively."

To fix her, thinks Tweseveny, watching as the narrative took its terrible shape.

"I got some self-help books, read through them, and realized that, you know, of course I'd been enabling her. I figured she needed someone who would push back on her bad habits instead of enabling them."

"Right, and that's a great idea..." says Tweseveny, voice rising cheerfully... and then faltering into, "...and I'm guessing you're gonna tell me how it went wrong."

The Time Crapper chuckles self-deprecatingly. "You're getting it. I showed up, all dramatic, and introduced myself as the Time Crapper. I told her she was destined to be a powerful force in the universe, and that I would be her mentor. I played up the powerful cosmic wisdom thing." He shrugs. "She didn't really buy it, but she went along with it for the power, you know."

"And, well, it worked for a while, we stole a lot of stuff, fought the LNH a few times, I managed to hold her in check... aaaaand..." He lets out a long breath. "And she tried to take the Hourglass and I killed her."

"...I'm so sorry." Tweseveny squeezes his shoulder.

"Yeah, so was I... that was the first time I tried to commit suicide."

Tweseveny winced. "Ah."

"I decided to do the traditional thing and jump off a bridge. The LNH showed up to stop me, of course. All of you..." He breathes harshly, rasping against his lips. "Fucking do-gooders..." He shakes his head, a wave of bitterness passing, and looks at Tweseveny. "Present company excepted, of course."

"Er... of course," says Tweseveny, wishing there was some kind of rock she could crawl under right about now.

"They talked me back from the brink, and I had... some new, stupid idea about how to fix things. And I went back, and did it again, and it failed again. I decided I had been right the first time, decided to jump from something higher. The LNH came in again and I got grief counseling from a kiwi. Got a new idea. Fucked it up again. The LNH came in again, over and over..." He sighs. "I've killed myself so many times. So many selves, and I just kept taking my own place."

Tweseveny stays silent, pinned under the thick layer of pain streaming off the Time Crapper, unable to do anything except Be There and let him vent his trauma.

"Finally, I came up with some kind of ridiculous plan about rebooting the universe and waited for the LNH to get to me again, just so I could have someone to talk to about it. Thankfully, the LNHer who came to talk to me was Cynical Lass."

"Thankfully?" says Tweseveny, grasping at the slender straw of positivity.

"Oh yes. She cut right thru my bullshit, and made me realize - the things wrong with our relationship were things I just couldn't change. They were fundamental things about myself and about Tamela that would make us end in tragedy no matter what parts of the situation I tweaked."

"Ah!" Tweseveny perked up. "That sounds like a very wise thing that's extremely worth listening to. Uh, for a net.hero."

The Time Crapper nods. "Right. That's when I gave up."

Tweseveny smiles! Yes, he'd finally made a breakthru that-- wait. She glances off in the direction Mother Time went. She turns to the Time Crapper. "And then?"

"..well." He rubs the back of his head. "Dismal-Hope Kid was putting me in the holding cells here, and then I appeared to myself again."

Shit.

"I offered myself a source of enormous power. Enough power to change those fundamental things, about myself and about her."

Shit shit shit. "The Rung of Revamp," says Tweseveny.

"Right." The Time Crapper takes a deep breath, and sits up. The weariness and depression seem to fall off of him. Something bigger, older, fills his form. "I took it, and it..." He lets out his breath. "It took away my past. Replaced it. With a connection to entropy. The waste disposal system of the universe."

Holy shit. Cosmic shit. Tweseveny sits up, remembers that she's not just a sympathetic ear, she's a net.hero on a mission. Shiiiiit.

"That's where the smell comes from. It started showing up whenever I used the Hourglass, but now it's become part of who I am. I didn't need the Hourglass anymore - the power was internalized." The Time Crapper looks off again, but not into his own past; into deep space, the fabric of the universe. "I realized how fragile the universe is. That's why I hadn't managed to fix things. Everything is so delicate. People are so delicate. This universe..." He shakes his head. "I don't know how it still exists. How it holds itself together."

"Somehow it does, tho," murmurs Tweseveny. Probably a bad thing for someone who can smash spacetime to be talking about how fragile it is.

"Somehow it does. Maybe it's because of the net.heroes." He shakes his head. "Still... I tried to warn Fourth Wall Lass about all I could see, with my new awareness. She took me seriously, at least. Then I decided to leave the universe to its own devices and focus on Tamela."

"Of course," says Tweseveny. Maybe she can find a new place to help these two from that angle, but God, how's she even supposed to start? "What did you do?"

"I went and I found... the best bits and pieces I could find, from all of the times I've been with her, made an amalgam of those. The Hourglass is holding it together, but it's not stable." He clenches his fist. "If she thought about her memories, she'd realize they don't make sense. But she doesn't care about the past." He looks at Tweseveny, and his gaze is focused, somewhere beneath the shadows. "She wants tomorrow."

Tweseveny swallows. Great, swinging back to megalomania! "And what's tomorrow?"

"...well." The Time Crapper sits back, placing one hand over the other. "Once we get the Rung of Revamp, it will stabilize her timeline, like it did to me - collect her into a new, coherent self."

Oh-- of course. That was the plan all along - use the Rung to "fix" things. Another plan, like the ones he'd already failed with... and he could probably see that, but...

Ugh, thinks Tweseveny. Yes, friendshipping villains is definitely harder than she'd thought. If he's failed so badly at fixing himself, how can she possibly hope to do it?

"Then..." The Time Crapper ponders, gaze still on the superstructure of the universe. "I don't know. Maybe we can evolve past our human flaws, into cosmic entities." He shrugs! "But at least I'll have a version of her that... wants to be around me."

Tweseveny licks her lips. Maybe... maybe she needs to be more blunt! "Time Crapper... may I be blunt?" Okay, a little more.

He snaps out of his reverie, looks at her with that unseen gaze... gives a firm nod. "Absolutely. Seems to be what I need, anyway."

God, what should she say, how should she say it-- just be honest, just open up and say what comes to mind! "Even if you make a verson of her that wants to be with you..." Tweseveny draws a deep breath thru her nose and squares up! "Are you sure you should be with her? Are you sure that-- with everything you could do with this new cosmic power-- that that's what you want!?" She coughs slightly as she gets the earnest plea out.

The Time Crapper looks at her wordlessly for a moment; she can almost feel thick waves of emotion wafting off of him, anger, regret, genuine thought. Then he turns away, his shoulders lowering, his hands on his knees. "I'm not sure, really. You're right. But... after all I've done on this path..." He shakes his head. "Without her, I'm a monster. With her, I'm something. Even if that something is still a monster, for what I make her into."

Hoo boy. Well. That was Tweseveny's last shot. What now?

She wishes she had some way to see what Mother Time was saying. Maybe there's some kind of miscommunication here. Something she needed that he wasn't fulfilling - maybe the reason she wanted to commit crimes in the first place? Maybe. If only...

She feels a little tingle at her belt, and looks down. The little yellow gem on her belt is flashing, and she reaches down and, quietly, presses it...

     And suddenly, she isn't in the story anymore. She's reading it - so

     rt of. She can see-- feel?-- smell???-- threads of narrative, like

     individual pages ripped from a book and taped back together into a

     film strip, rolling by the light of her viewpoint and projected ont

     o the screen of reality.

     Tweseveny reaches out to one of the narrative threads, the one that

     tastes like Time-Waster Lad, and starts reading...

<<<*>>>

Author's Note: The versions of the Time Crapper and Mother Time that show up in the Infinite Leadership Crisis and 58.5 are kind of all over the place, often implying mutually exclusive backstories. And honestly? It's more interesting that way - those stories do a lot of fascinating things that don't need to be held back by tying them to a strict canon. But this is my attempt at stitching together Arthur, Rob, and Lalo's interpretations into something coherent. And we're not done stitching yet...