#He is NOT mentally stable your honour

[king-candybug-backup]

More screenshots that killed me while working on that dumb disco stick memepost, but OH MY GOD, THIS ONE ESPECIALLY-

NEFARIOUS CREATURE

[themoonsjewel]

🎠 NEUVILLETTE—lovebirds of summer unseen.

summers are a sight in fontaine, as lovebirds take on a newfound joy frolicking under the sun's brilliance. oh, birds or a metaphor for people in love? both, actually. poetry, summer and love go hand in hand, as they say.

Peace.

It's a lovely sentiment, floating in the air with it's elegant charm; whispering in love's ear words of mischief as she stirred with excitement. You manage to notice it, although barely, in the way the birds were more social than usual and in the way morning dew hadn't evaporated yet; drawing in butterflies and lovebirds who mistook them as pearls.

Sigewienne did not have time for such idle romanticism, however, although she usually found herself noting down the beautiful words of prose and poetry you'd use for people, things and places. It was a thick notebook full of those now, and Wriothesley had begun dropping subtle hints that he appreciated hearing such flowery words in his tea time.

But for now both were busy, and them being busy meant that you were going to get dragged into matters as well. In a way, you were cherishing the last few moments of peace you'd get before you'd have to return to court cases and resolving issues again.

Not that you didn't have appreciation for your work, but nowadays someone else managed to intrigue you more than the hearings themselves. You were messing up your words in court sometimes, and it was taking everything in you to not start wearing a veil to avoid catching sight of him during trials.

You sighed.

A small lovebird, shaded with beauty of the dusk itself, took shelter from the soft drizzle pouring outside near the end of your desk. She tilted her head, taking in the enormous simplicity of the room with her bead-shaped eyes. But eventually her interest shifted towards you and she chirped excitedly, almost as though trying to start conversation.

You liked to flatter yourself by thinking that lovebirds could sense when people were in love, and hence took a liking to people who were pining for someone.

Leaves know, flowers know, and know do these birds. The whole world knows, except for the person for whom all my poetry is meant.

You sighed, stood up and placed the teacup back on the table with a content gaze. Wearing your coat again, and picking up your files, you mentally prepared yourself to face him as you left your office.

The lovebird took to settling near your now empty yet warm cup as soon as you left, singing away. Perhaps it sang of your romantic yearning and loving gaze.

The drizzle stopped.

Neuvillette was eternally busy. As the head of the nation and personification of divine law itself, you wouldn't expect otherwise. But even when he drank tea or enjoyed rain, the serene thoughtlessness that would usually cloud people's eyes while relaxing never seemed to blossom behind his own. He was always thinking something, useful or useless, with equal depth and emotion.

But he was always attentive, and the owner of quick ears and a smile-lined face.

'Welcome, just who I was expecting, please come take a seat Miss,' he gestured towards the seat opposite to his own, and kept his teacup down as he called for a Melusine.

'Please bring her a cup of-'

'Oh, there will be no need Monsieur Neuvillette. I had a cup before coming.'

He smiled, 'You never quite give anyone the opportunity to offer you anything. Perhaps anything else you'd like? Water, juice, cake, biscuits; anything I can entertain you with?'

'Oh no, I must pick something now that you put it like that. I think half a cup of tea would suffice.'

Neuvillette turned to the melusine and nodded with a smile, and she walked away with a cheerful stride. Melusines all adored him; after all, he was perhaps their greatest fan in all of Teyvat. He not only restructured the way they were treated in society, but also gave them the opportunity to live happy and stable lives of honour and dignity.

'Oh, it stopped raining...', you said, gaze catching and getting hooked on to the now cheerful sky as the sun reappeared from behind the clouds, rainbows overtaking the place of slow winds and grey clouds.

🎈

Her gaze was of gentle disappointment as she witnessed the drizzle come to a halt. Her features were still, and appeared to take in the beauty of the world as he drank in her own.

She smiled gently, the crescent moon's shape mirroring on her face forming twin lakes who the illiterate called eyes. Somebody wanted to drown in these eyes, grow the lotuses of their love and become an eternal inhabitant of their plenilune beauty.

'The rain is quite beautiful Monsieur Neuvillette, isn't it?'

He found himself faltering, 'It is most beautiful indeed; It appears you adore the rain more than sunny skies.'

She smiled, pearls peaking from beneath her rose-like lips. 'Ah, yes, I do! It makes me very rom—' she blushed suddenly, making him smile. 'Ah, I mean, very, uh, reminiscing. It makes me very nostalgic, it's a good feeling.'

And as her bright smile was replaced with a shy one, it appeared as though heavens had descended to shade her in the most beautiful of lights. Just then the melusine came back with a cup of tea, the cup being the one Neuvillette had picked out for her to be served tea in.

Both made eye contact then, as they drowned in each other's love.

🌒🌗🌘

'Lady Furina, I'd like some sad books, or drama recommendations.'

Furina looked up, curious. 'But you never liked such media, what happened?'

Neuvillette's neck turned red, much as he had predicted and hence had accordingly covered with a scarf beforehand.

'Someone said they can be quite comforting sometimes.'

Furina giggled, 'Do you plan to flood Fontaine in summer?'

He averted his gaze, gently muttering, 'I mean if she likes floods then we could try that too,'

'What?'

'So, do you have any good recommendations, Lady Furina?'

[imperatorbaronius]

I keep thinking about Wulf in War of the Rohirrim and how much he allowed vengeance to blind him.

Mild spoilers below

Dude clearly wasn't very stable from the start.

As a historian and having spend a while studying Anglo-Saxon culture and honour cultures overall. I imagine it would stem partly from the scar Hera gives him as a kid, a simple accident but you could see he was getting way too invested in a simple game between kids, to then be scarred over your eye by a woman? That's incredibly shameful for him, it's not even a story that may bring some honour, it's not like it came from a bear or a bandit, I'm very curious as to how he would have explained it to his father…

His father clearly is a very ambitious man, you see them throughout history, powerful landowning nobility who get a little too eager for more to the point they can't see past their own desires. I'm of no doubt that if he had become king, Rohan would have very quickly begun to collapse as he concentrated entirely on his own greed rather than genuine prosperity and love for his people.

Wulf could have moved past vengeance almost immediately, had he simply accepted his father's death was an accident, he might have been elevated to his father's position and had another chance maybe later down the line to grow more power for his family. Instead he was almost immediately overcome and was ready to kill Helm in front of the entire Witan, had he held his tongue in that moment he might have been able to establish a powerful bloc for when the next Witan is called to get revenge then.

Then when he is banished and becomes lord of the wild men, he could have been content. He could have just settled until that role of leadership and made a new kingdom of his own, instead he remained blinded by vengeance, plotting and planning for revenge over one simple accident. He could have become a great lord of the north, holding incredible sway and influence but he doesn't. He clearly doesn't even care much about his new subjects, he's willing to manipulate and use them, what exactly was his plan after they took the Hornburg, his followers would have almost immediately turned on him for lying about the gold and then proceed to rampage through the remains of Rohan looting and killing anyone and everyone.

When he does win at Edoras, kills Haleth and captures Hama, Helm offers him the throne, he's beaten completely, he offers his own life. Again Wulf should have taken the deal but his vengeance once again takes over, he kills Hama (I won't lie, I did cry the most when he died) and proceeds to once again show no care for his own followers or the people he claims he wants to lead by sieging the Hornburg, a nearly impenetrable fortress through a winter. There's a reason in the Anglo-Saxon history, sieges would end at Winter usually because it kills as many of the besieging army as it does the defenders if not more of the attacker because of other threats.

He could, nay should have been content with this victory, breaking mentally the man who (accidentally) killed his father, hell even killing Haleth and Hama should have been enough but vengeance can't really be sated. He lacked any of the qualities that made a ruler great, he had no honour, no care for his people, only vengeance and that's why he failed when he had so many times to win…

[strawberrysmootji]

Chapter 4 | Aucades fortuna juvat

Fortune favours the bold

18+ fic, minors do not interact!

Chapter summary: Aemond needs your help with something that involves his doctor’s practice and sensitive information you are not allowed to look at.

(edited)

Chapter warnings/tags: Mentions of death, corpses, dead family members, mention of dead child, inaccurate medical procedures, blood, maybe ooc Aemond???, reader not being able to mind her own business

if any of these things are not to your liking/ are triggering i recommend not to read it! Word count: 2.8k Rigor Mortis Masterlist | Main Masterlist

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“I really don’t understand why you would need me, my prince-” “Aemond, you should call me Aemond.” “I really don’t understand why you would need me, Aemond.” 

Honestly, he hadn’t even told you why he needed you as an assistant. He was a surgeon, he should be able to do things himself. You followed him through the long winding hallways of the castle, he was walking rather quickly. It confused you to no end. What was he in such a hurry for? 

“King’s Landing’s first surgical theatre has opened and they have asked me to perform.” 

Gods, you really hoped it wouldn’t be you who ended up on the operating table. 

“That sounds like an honour.”

“It is.”

His body was so stiff as he walked. Could he be…no.. “You’re nervous.” You pointed out before you could stop yourself from saying it. Aemond stopped dead in his tracks and turned to you. His body language was definitely stiffer than before. He didn’t seem agitated but almost embarrassed that he got caught.

“I am not.” 

Oh, he definitely was. 

You stopped yourself from saying more that could possibly agitate or embarrass him further. You were his future wife, you should start acting like it! You quickly gathered some confidence and spoke up.

“I think it’s normal to be nervous for such things-” “I am not nervous.” He interrupted you with a small scoff. Gods, he was stubborn. 

“Right…” 

Without a word Aemond continued to walk to his practice and of course, you followed you. You made a mental note not to point out his possible insecurities for a while. 

The two of you arrived at his clean practice. You had seen it before but it still surprised you. It was less messy than that time you had seen it on his little tour. Except for his desk. He had a small adjacent office that was separated by a wall and a rather large window. Through the window you could see the books, files and letters scattered around as if he was desperately trying to figure out what to do with them. 

“I need someone to organise…this.” He motioned at his office behind the glass window. He could’ve had a maid doing this but instead he wanted you to do it and you couldn’t wrap your head around as to why. 

“I have a last minute surgery planned for this afternoon. Your handmaidens…they told me you kept your room organised, so I need your…help.” It was very clear to you he absolutely despised the word ‘help’. He said it in such a unique way that you had wondered if he had ever asked someone for help in the first place. You weren’t surprised though. Aemond seemed like a person that wanted to do everything on his own. Still, his sudden request was suspicious. He barely knew you, let alone trust you.  

Was he testing you?

“Of course, I would love to help.” 

He nodded and took off his long black coat. He hung it over the wooden coat rack in the corner of his practice and led you to his office. He wore a simple plain black vest with black buttons and a simple white shirt that puffed out at the bottom of the sleeves. His new short hair suited his choice of clothing well. His stature was straight and stable. His vest accentuated his back well and you and to mentally scold yourself to stop staring at it. 

“These cabinets are for patient files, you mustn’t read them under any circumstances.” He told you as he showed you the half empty wooden drawers. The rest of the files were scattered around the offices on various surfaces. You still couldn’t wrap your head around it. How could someone like Aemond, who kept his practice so incredibly clean, neat and organised make such a mess of his office? It simply did not make any sense. 

He continued to explain where to put the books and other various things that were scattered around. You couldn’t focus on his voice, you were too busy analysing the mess in his office. It didn’t look like it was made in a fit of rage, Aemond clearly wasn’t a slob either. The mess looked too…staged to be genuine.

This was a test.

What kind of test, you did not know. At least you knew it was one. 

“My patient will be here soon.”

You nodded and watched as he left the small office. You could see everything through the window of his office. The metal operating table shone brightly in the sunlight. His practice was an unique room. It had large, tall windows that overlooked the Blackwater Bay. The ceiling was made out of glass, you suspected it was modified so that the room would be bright enough for surgery. You had heard of it before. Hospitals all over the realm had their surgery rooms on the top floor so they could make a ceiling out of glass. Of course, in a castle as large as this one it would be quite difficult.

You watched as he laid a white sheet over the metal table, blocking the bright reflection of the sun. He took out his instruments and when he laid the bonesaw on the smaller table next to the operating table you glanced away, hoping he wouldn’t have to use it on his patient. You instead, gazed at the ‘mess’ in the small office. The walls had a brown, plain wallpaper and you suspected the floor was made out of hardwood. All of his furniture matched and the space lacked any decorating if you did not count his degrees that hung framed on the wall behind his desk. 

You gathered all the papers that were scattered around the floor on his dark hardwood desk. The desk seemed new and modern, it had drawers on both ends of the desk with gold coloured handles, though, judging the fortune of this family you wouldn’t be surprised if it were actual gold. From the corner of your eye you could see the patient entering his practice. It was Ser Criston who escorted the man, they couldn’t let a stranger wander around the castle of course. 

Aemond talked to his patient, they even glanced at you a few times as you tried to get some structure in the mess. The patient changed into his scrubs and laid on the metal surgery table. Out of instinct you turned around so you wouldn’t have to see the procedure, you could later claim you wanted to give the patient more privacy. You opened the drawers and started sorting the patient files like your father had taught you how to organise important factory files. On alphabetical order and from up to down. Once that was done you glanced at the other folders. Some were financials, others death reports…lot’s of death reports…

Oh you knew you shouldn’t look into those

But you really wanted to

He did say he didn’t want you looking into the patient files, he never said anything about the death reports…right?

You glanced out the window and immediately regretted it. Aemond had just made an incision across the entire chest of the patient. A few nurses had come in while you were working, they wore long white scrubs that were already stained with the blood of the patients. Some of the nurses giggled like schoolgirls when Aemond addressed them and a flare of jealousy soared through your body. 

‘Dumb girls…’ You thought in anger and let out a small huff. You gazed back at Aemond, he wasn’t paying attention to you, neither did the nurses. You looked through a few death reports. You found Tayla’s certificate pretty quick, it was the one on top of the pile, the most recent one.

You glanced over your shoulder again but quickly turned your head around with regret. Of course your betrothed was pulling aside the skin of the patient.

You opened Tayla’s file, there wasn’t much information. There was a small sketch of the human body with two black dots on the eyes. Aemond’s handwriting was difficult to read, doctor’s handwriting..classic, but the small drawing clearly indicated the injuries on the body. 

It was strange, you knew it was always this way but it still seemed strange to you. How can someone die of just having their eyeballs taken out? That made absolutely no sense. You decided to read more but much was blacked out. The strangest thing was the cause of death being blacked out. To you, it would be loss of eyeballs or even drowning but if Aemond filled out something else… Then he must know what happens to the victims.

After digging through some more death reports you had quickly realised the ones with a simple turquoise circle stamp were the victims of the Blackwater Bay. You started to put them aside and organised the normal files first. Thank the gods Aemond wrote dates on them all. You organised the normal files in alphabetical order and when that was finished you could finally tackle the Blackwater Bay reports. 

You put them all by date first, longest ago on the bottom and the most recent one on top. While you were sorting it out you noticed a large gap in dates. There was a large gap that lasted from 1865-1969. A four year gap. The older death certificates before 1865 were written in a different handwriting than that of Aemond. Curiously you opened a file to see who it was signed by. Name: Bor WatersAge: 40/41Date of birth: //?//?//1810Date of death: 30-09-1841

Cause of Death: blacked out

Signed by: Dr. Otto Hightower Otto Hightower? Aemond’s grandfather?

You opened the drawer with the normal death reports and searched from one with a date before 1866. It was again signed by Otto Hightower. Perhaps Aemond took over the clinic from his grandfather? It would certainly explain how the Hightowers had gotten to know the Targaryens. He must’ve been their personal physician. You wanted to ask Aemond about it, but then he would know you had looked through the reports. Perhaps you could ask Helaena, she was kind, even with her queer quirks. Then again, she might tell Aemond about it. Aegon then? You really didn’t want to ask Aegon for help. 

You sighed and glanced over your shoulder again. Aemond was stitching the patient back up, that meant he would be finished soon. At a rapid speed you organised the rest of the folders in the hardwood drawer. While you picked the last one up a name flashed by. A familiar name. You halted your movement and looked at the folder with the light turquoise stamp on it. The date and name written with a shaky handwriting, but still readable, handwriting. Daeron TargaryenYour heart started beating faster and faster. You knew you would be imposing on some very personal information but you had to know. Your curious nature couldn’t be contained in that moment, even if you knew you really shouldn’t look. 

Name: Daeron TargaryenAge: 12

Date of birth: 23-03-1853

Date of death: 11-04-1865Cause of death: blacked outSigned by: Dr. Otto Hightower

You didn’t know how long you were staring at the file but all you could think about was Daeron. He was dead. He died when he was only twelve.

Gods, how old was Aemond back then? Fourteen? Helaena must’ve been fifteen then…and Aegon seventeen. That is too young to be losing a loved one, especially a youngest brother. Your hands were still trembling as you read it. You closed the folder again, you couldn’t bear to look any longer at the human shape with its eyes crossed out. It was disturbing to think a grandfather had to fill out his grandson’s own death report.

“What are you reading?” Out of instinct you turned around and hid the file behind your back. There stood Aemond with a large scowl on his face and his white apron coloured red from his patient’s blood. You hadn’t even heard him enter the room. You could feel the blood rushing to your face while you made eye contact with your betrothed. 

“Look, I can explain-” “I told you not to read the files.” “I was only curious-” “Those are confidential.” Aemond kept interrupting you. You could see how hard he was trying to stay calm. His arms were stiff at his sides and his hands were trembling.

You really, really, really messed up. 

“I know, I-.” You stammered awkwardly, there were no excuses you could make. Claiming you were curious would only worsen the situation. “I’m sorry.” You replied and stopped hiding the file behind your back. You knew he would find out sooner than later and it would be best to be cooperative if you wanted to salvage any sort of bond the two of you previously had. You held out the file to Aemond so he could take it from you. You felt sick in the stomach. You knew you should’ve minded your own business. You should’ve never looked, then maybe you could’ve prevented having to hand your betrothed the death report of his twelve year old brother. 

Aemond snatched the file from your hand and walked around you to slam it on his desk. He took the apron off and threw it in the corner of the room and sat down in the leather desk chair. “Look, Aemond-” “You have done enough.”

His words were cold and stern. He was really upset. He harshly pulled one of his desk drawers open and pulled out a small box filled with a few glass eyes. All you could do was stare as he tried to take out the glass eye that matched his eye colour. His frustration only grew when it wasn’t budging like he wanted to. “Fuck!” He slammed his fist on the table, his breath was heavy from the anger and frustration that was only building up in his body. He hadn’t dismissed you yet, that had to count for something, right? Your legs moved on their own while you slowly approached him. You made your way around the desk and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He didn’t shrug it off, he didn’t seem to get more angry. That was good. “Let me help.” You offered kindly, your voice was soft and caring. You felt incredibly guilty, you were the one that put him into his mood after all. “You don’t know how to do it.” He grumbled in anger. “Teach me then…” Aemond was silent for a moment. It seemed to last forever but he finally turned his head to face you. There was an evident frown on his face and he let out a deep sigh.

“You shouldn’t have been snooping through my files.” He told you sternly. “I know, I am truly sorry.”

He paused again. “Are you going to explain to me why you did it?” 

You nodded and told him. You told him about seeing Daeron’s name on a door. You told him about listening in on the conversation between Alicent and Ser Criston, about how Ser Criston had nearly caught you and how Aegon had basically saved you by pulling you into Daeron’s room unseen. 

Aemond shook his head in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Your curiosity is going to kill you one day.” “I know-” “Listening in on my mother, the queen?” “I know, it was a stupid idea and I won’t do it again.” Aemond sighed again and glanced up at you. “Curiosity kills the cat.” “You really don’t have to remind me.” You awkwardly replied. Aemond urged you to come closer so you did. He took your hand in his and gently squeezed it. 

“No more snooping around and no more reading any of my files, understood? Normally I would never make an exception like this but you are to be my wife and I suppose I can understand why you did what you did. Promise me you won’t do it again and we can start over.” He asked you sternly, though, there was a certain sense of softness in his voice that you hadn’t heard before. It was a strange but welcome change. 

You nodded in response. “I swear I won’t.” Aemond nodded, he seemed not to fully trust you yet but he left it at that. He let go of your hand and you strangely missed the feeling of his much larger hand being wrapped around yours. 

“I must admit, I have been quite secretive. I have kept you in the dark about important things that you should know if you become part of this family.” Well…he was right about that. 

“I promise, I will tell you soon.”

Aemond sighed again and firmly nodded, you thought it was mostly to himself.

“Now…help me get this damned eye out.” 

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Taglist: @helaenaluvr @saltedcaramelpretzel @certifiedhaters @imawhorecrux @jbaby2

[cinderkaliningrad]

Targtower family and the cost of war.

Listen to this with the Sabaton song - Lifetime of War. and 1916 (Another Sabaton song).

Aemond: Should not now us prevail?

Alicent: Not like this.

Okay, Alicent. "Not like this?" I ask for the VAR. ⬇

Let us remember the famous phrase: "I wish to believe that honor and decency will prevail." - A hypocritical phrase said from the mouth of a person manipulated by her father, who is trying to survive as a woman in a man's world. (We are talking about the hypocrisy of the Greens, not the crimes of the Blacks.)

Alicent blames Aemond for starting the war by killing Lucerys. But it was Otto Hightower (the series' ultimate villain) who manipulated her into marrying Viserys. The House of the Dragon, aka "the place where those who are at fault never pay what they owe."

LET'S START.

Otto Hightower starts it all off by drooling over the Iron Throne and plotting to dethrone Rahenyra.

Otto manipulates Alicent into believing that Rahenyra is ruthless enough to kill her children. Something that seems to be corroborated when Rahenyra asks that Aemond (her younger half-brother) be tortured to find out where she got that her children are bastards.

Cole kills a lovely grandpa council member and no body gives a fuck. Nothing new, because he killed Laenor's lover in his wedding (Laenor and Rahenyra) in front the whole nobility of the realm.

We all have recorded the multiple payments that Alicent makes to her allies by offering her body. Very much like Cercey: "Tears are not a woman's only weapon. We have the best one between our legs." We talk about her walking by the sword of Ser Criston Cole and showing her feet to the depraved Larys.

The use of the death of a child prince to win over the people. Causing great suffering to the parents of the child Jaehearys, Kings Aegon II and Helaena. The two characterized by not being the most mentally stable people in the world, let us also remember that they are 22 and 20 years old at the time of the boy's death. (They are literally, in today's terms: university students).

No shame in using a boy who is barely two decades old from birth for their own selfish plans. - Poor Aegon, he just wanted to get away and live in peace.

Espionage, the elimination of witnesses. Shatter the minds of three generations for a throne. (Queen Alicent, her children the princes and the princess, and their children). - Alicent has not hesitated when it comes to using them for its benefit. For "honor and dignity."

Queen Alicent wants to crown her son Aegon, after her dying and senile husband talks about some King Aegon guy and a weird prophecy. When we know 3 Aegon so far: Aegon the Conqueror, Aegon the drunk prince, and Aegon the Young (son of Rahenyra). Did anyone thought that maybe the words of the dying king weren't too logical? Aegon (the drunk one) was right about not being the chosen one.

A long etc.

How do you want to win, Alicent? Your son Aemond is little nothing more than a child trying to fulfill the desires that have been imposed on him all his life: to keep his brother on the throne no matter what the cost.

How are wars won, Alicent? Sending people like Aemond to die: children who have grown up with the wrong ideas, who have grown into fanatical men for a cause. People forced to grow up fast and therefore die young. And of course, dirty game. A lot of dirty game. So that? Alicent (spoiler alert) will spend the rest of her life crying for her children. And the realm will never recover. The saddest thing is that Aemond and Aegon will die thinking they did the right thing.

What was the cost of your greed, House Hightower? If you are not prepared for war, don't do it. You could have stopped it, Alicent, too late to regret it. No? War is like lighting a fire, once it starts, it will destroy everything in its path without control. And it is foolish and naive to think that you can enter a war without dirtying your hands and everyone around you.

WHERE THE 7 HELLS IS HONOUR AND DECENCY, HIGHTOWERS!?

[13thdoctorposts]

Because of all the recent asks about the current series I thought I'd send one about 13 to give you a break. So, in 13's era what are your favourite episodes and what themes or ideas did you find particularly compelling? Just feel free to gush essentially.

lol, I appreciate all asks but I do love to gush about 13 era so let’s do it.

I think many of us love Doctor Who for the theme of found family. What I liked about the 13 era is it shows found family in different ways.

You have Ryan and Graham. With Grace gone and Ryan being 19, they could both choose now to go their separate ways. But they don’t. By joining Yaz and the Doctor, they fix their relationship and become as close as any grandfather and grandson. Joining Yaz and the Doctor helps this, as the four of them become fam. It’s not about blood but actions.

Yaz comes from a stable, loving family. It's not broken. She and her sister clearly rib each other a bit, but they also have a caring relationship. But, what Yaz lacks is making her life have more meaning. By joining the boys and the doctor, she finds people to do that with. They are people she would risk her life for.

The Doctor has no one. She has just lost everyone and is still devastated by the loss of Bill. She has regenerated and is truly alone. But, she falls into the middle of these people’s lives. And while she has something to offer them, all of Time and Space they have something to offer her: companionship. She doesn’t have to be alone. She can see things again with new and excited eyes. Though she tries to keep her shadows hidden from her fam, they are also the rock that keeps her moving forward.

I think the era has many strong arcs. Graham and Ryan get through grief and choose each other. Ryan's relationship with his Dad. Ryan finds confidence in himself and is not let down by his disability. In the end, confidence and friendship on earth lead him to be ready to take on the world on his terms and help his planet. Also, Graham gets his grandson and gets through his grief of Grace, and is able to continue honouring her by looking after Ryan.

We have 13 with all her issues, particularly identity and letting people in. While she deals with her identity, her time is cut a little too short to fully deal with opening up. But, she does open up to Yaz about her feelings for her. I think that’s very vulnerable for this Doctor. And it's far more important for Yaz than knowing the Doctor's past.

Yaz we have mental health and confidence. We have her coming out and Thasmin. But, my favorite arc for the era is Yaz’s Doctorfication. It's really the end of all her arcs and time with the Doctor.

If we think of the kid we meet in TWWFTE she wants to be doing more to help, but she also wants to stick to the rules. She ultimately lacks confidence. She follows the Doctor (which is good for the story) because she doesn't have all the answers and doesn't want to sound crazy to her superiors. Theres a bit about worrying about how she'll be taken here. But, she was also willing to try to stand up to the Doctor. This showed the Doctor her leadership potential, even though she wasn’t there yet. And in a lot of stories she was essentially the 2IC of the team it wasn’t Ryan, Graham or Dan. And that 'flat team structure' was often more aspirational than anything else, lol. At the end of series 11, we know she’s had issues with depression. But, she’s also ready to follow the Doctor no matter what happens. So, even if she dies. 

In series 12, we dive deeper into the mental health. We see the way she reacts in Spyfall when she thinks she’s died. We see her story in Can You Hear Me. Through the season we see her step up and go off in her own, especially in Praxeus and TTC. Graham’s asking who’s going to go through first the force field to Gallifrey first. But, he hasn’t finished his sentence and she’s already walking through. She’s now the one telling people it’s dangerous and they don’t have to come. And we also start seeing those hints of her falling for the Doctor thought the series.

Then, in Revolution, we see her in what looks like a possible men brake or some sort of manic state that lasted 10 months. She slept in a sleeping bag on the floor trying to find the Doctor. When the most logical conclusion is that the Doctor is dead. Losing the Doctor breaks her. So, we see her mental health issues return. We also see how much she cares for the Doctor. The Doctor's friends have moved on, but Yaz clearly loves her and can't. This is after a season of watching her step up more. It's like a great mix of Yaz stepping up to find the Doctor. But, it's fruitless. And, it's also going backwards mentally at the loss. It's really quite interesting to watch the positives and negatives come together. Yaz might be having a mental break. But, she also has enough confidence to think she can still find the Doctor. 

Then we get to Flux and the specials. We open with married couple Thasmin bickering. It's my favorite scene of the whole show. But now we have a Yaz who isn't just letting the Doctor push her away. She's calling the Doctor out while also adventuring by her side. It's the most equal we have seen them. It's probably the most equal a Doctor and regular companion can be, one that's human. If you look at Series 11 Yaz and Flux Yaz we really have gone from a kid to a grown woman. She calls things out and speaks her mind. But, she also does good and helps the universe. In ways TWWFTE yaz could have only dreamed. We start to see more obvious signs of Thasmin and Yaz's feelings. This happens as she leads her own team through the early 1900s. She is now essentally the Doctor of this team. Then we have the specials. She has to confront her feelings. In LotSD, 13 confesses her feelings but says they can't be together. We see Yaz's confidence now ask why, not just accept the Doctor words. Then we get to the beach. It's pure heartbreak. There, we see a mature woman. She knows their feelings are real but they are doomed. Loving the Doctor is always doomed. and Yaz loves her enough to leave it.

Then in The Power of the Doctor, we see peak Yaz. She flies the TARDIS and catches Ace jumping off a building. She takes on the Master and saves 13 many times. She gets everyone home safe, just like 13 would do. We see her lose the woman she loves but in that episode we see her Doctorfication arc complete. But it's a healthy one. She has taken the best parts of the Doctor with her. She isn't burdened by the morally grey aspects. So she is as much the Doctor as a Human can be. She is the true successor of 13 to me. She was The Doctor's best student. She left the TARDIS without being morally compromised and with all the best lessons from 13.

You said to gush... probably didnt think it would be this much. lol

I'm terrible at picking fav eps so I'll do top 3 for each series... this is always subject to change. lol

S11 The Woman Who Fell to Earth, Demons of the Punjab, It Takes You Away

S12 Fugitive of the Jadoon, The Haunting of Villa Diodati, The Timeless Children

S13: Flux War of the Sontarians, Village of the Angels, Survivors of the Flux

Speicals: All of them 

[lagomorphics]

Majora's Mask remaster for the Nintendo Switch OLED screen could you please make a relationship chart for your AU's 🥹👉👈

ABSOLUTELY. SMILES. i've only made charts for narigoatlamb / narilamb but at some point i'll probably do some big charts including the bishops and other side characters :)

PUTTING IT UNDER THE CUT THOUGH BECAUSE THIS GETS. VERY VERY LONG. because i looove overexplaining myself <3

starting with lucky card!! since i'm still working out everything for how i want these threes dynamics to evolve i only have one version of their relationship </3 but heres my longass ramble on each dynamic:

Ines and Jahel's relationship kinda takes front and center for most of the au, since they're in close proximity most of the time, and they care about eachother A LOT. pre-Ines' deal they were 'friends', and only got closer because of All This Mess. Ines likes the fact they can be themself around Jahel, and Jahel loves Ines for all their snark and charm <3

Ines and Nari spend a lot of time having a very hot n cold relationship. Narinder usually texts Ines and holds the deal over their head to get them to go somewhere or come to the casino for something, which pisses Ines OFF because they like DOING THINGS, NARINDER. Nari has a very hard time being emotional and is practically A Wall, and Ines is. well. the opposite. Ines does think Nari is extremely hot, and (while annoyed) does go along with the deal they have, but it's only really late into things do they actually start to genuinely Fall for Nari. Nari falls first, because Ines' presence starts becoming less of an annoyance and more of something she.. really enjoys. Sorry about the divorce in their future

AND FOR THE MOST STRANGE OF THE BUNCH. HOO BOY. Nari does NOT trust Jahel (for very funny reasons. haha. lmao. lol.) and thinks they're going to ruin everything she has been trying to accomplish. Jahel is doing everything they can to convince her like "hey. i know. i swear i'm not that." but its. a very very slow process. The two probably wouldn't ever be alone with oneanother until like halfway through the plot, where Nari DOES try to kill Jahel. lol. it's fine. I'd say after that they'd start trying to get along a little better. They don't fall in love until post Nari's 'defeat' though

i also included a little funny. Jahel has another connection that they feel very very conflicted about :) wow i wonder who that is. aha. whaat. runs away extremely fast.

SNAH au <33 three lil versions of their dynamic evolving (can you tell i REALLY rotate this au around)

to start off; when Narinder was TOWW, Lambert was VERY infatuated with him, to the point that they kinda convinced themself that despite how much he talks about sacrifice, they would be the exception. To TOWW though, he grew to care about them and admired how vengeful they were, but watched as that vengence slowly cooled and mellowed out, almost resenting it. He always planned to sacrifice them, because to him; what's a greater honour than that? he promised he'd make theirs meaningful, though. Obviously Lambert did not like this in the slightest.

Post-defeat and for the early days of their relationship, Nari just kinda hated them really bad. To him, Lambert took EVERYTHING from him, including his own death. my Nari is.... not the most stable at the start? he struggles a lot mentally, and (if the day ever came) he knew he wanted death to be his end, to not even have That pissed him off. Lambert, however, still has lingering feelings for him, because at the end of the day, Narinder was like a friend to them. he did listen to them, let them spend time with him, gave them advice etc etc... so it hurts a lot to know that a) he was gonna sacrifice them (they are very pissed off about that still) and b) he is actively making everything difficult. it does not help that Nari is able to read minds and can use magic, hes causing problems and its stressing them out </3

they do eventually get to a point of being friendly though!

AND THE LAST ONE. so in SNAH, Nari DOES die at a specific point (lol), and it is an extremely rough time for both of them because Narinder realises Oh actually. i dont want to die. and his time in the afterlife is horrible, and Lambert is freaking the hell out because Holy shit. Hes dead. Oh my god. They actually personally go and retrieve his soul because the last thing they wanted was to potentially fail the resurrection ritual, but after all that happens they both just... grow closer. Narinder realises that Lambert cares about him so much, always reaches out for him and is ready to catch him at any moment. He realises he does still care about them, and he also starts to appreciate mortal life and everything way more. what dying does to a mf.

Nari dying also made Lambert realise their infatuation HAD changed into being genuine love and care, and also it hurt really bad to see him like that. it also helped them connect better to the domain they now rule over, and just... they realise that they never want to see him hurting like that again. they really do love him and want him by their side, if he wants that too. (they get. way better at Being Normal about their own emotions)

AH!!! AGH!!! (BLOWS UP)

[morguerobber]

At first i wasn't gonna post it because, well, I don't wanna drag the thing. But i live out of spite. So.

Uh, your honour i call bullshit.

"Nowhere did it say 100%" I'll hold your hand while i say this.

Bill canonically doesn't walk, nor talk normally. He barks and fucking crawls or limps. Tell me that's sober behaviour. Not only not sober, tell me one person that would act like a DOG out of their OWN WILL

Plus, Mona has been confirmed to possess a lot, a LOT of drugs, including aphrodisiacs. Think, move the lil cobs in what's left of your brain.

"he got into this shit himself" He had a family. Children. A career. And in case you don't know how being a policeman works, there's literally procedures and tests in order to make sure the person they are hiring is mentally stable and SANE.

"mona wouldn't worry about not getting her hands dirty" so.. you heard of this thing called a .... Metaphor????

I mean, Mona would not care about literally getting her hands dirty, she ripped a dudes balls off. What i meant is, Mona needed someone to help her. And considering she's selfish and doesn't care about hurting others for her own gain.

"She was torturing Tina herself" erm, Where the fuck did you get that from????? All we see is them standing over the bed ominously, and mona gesturing for bill to attack Nathan. Which, well, Nathan was an ARMED POLICE OFFICER, and nobody that's not UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRUGS would ATTACK a man with a GUN.

The fact i selfship has nothing to do with this fucking conversation, the only reason you brought it up is to poke fun at me. Newsflash, I don't give a shit about what you think!!

Edit: btw I'm gonna go draw myself kissing Mona passionately now<3

You say you're not a big fan of Mona x Tina/Bill but you CLEARLY post Mona x Tina art and reblog Mona x Bill content. Pick a side.

No, it wasn't confirmed. But i don't think it takes that much brain power to see a man stripped naked, taken from his family, getting his arm and face cut off, and act like a fucking dog, and then get to the conclusion that he probably didn't want to do that???

[helenofsimblr]

RT: I wouldn’t mind taking the Professor to Selvadorado though. His prodigious strength, intelligence, and reflexes would be very useful. The Catzenburgs would appreciate some assistance with their search.

Evelyn: They might. Look dad, just because I’m not interested in pursuing any kind of romantic relationship with Guy doesn’t mean that he’s totally excommunicated. I will deny everything if you ever tell him this, but I like him as a friend, and he’s a brilliant researcher and scientist… when he focusses. He just… Well, the gods made man with a brain and penis, but only enough blood to use one at a time, Guy uses his penis a lot more than his brain. 

RT: Yes, it appears so. *chuckles.*

Evelyn: *sighs* I am just concerned about his mental state.  

RT: Speak your mind, my dear. .

Evelyn: During our fight he spoke as though there was another in the room. He is a kind and honourable man, but there is a dangerous violent streak there too. It would mean a lot to me if you’d just hold off on going back to Selva for a little while longer. At least till I can assess the situation. I can’t hide the children forever, but I need time to prepare.

****

RT: I understand. I will say nothing of course, this will be entirely your choice. But it might be best if you were to come up with contingencies to neutralize a rogue Gargarean. Let us hope we never need them.

Elita: Her father’s command struck her like a missile. The idea of having to have some plan to potentially kill her children’s father was horrifying for her. I know she comes over cold and difficult, but she did love my brother, in her own way. She didn’t want Guy, or anybody else in her life, because she didn't ever want to endure the pain her father did at losing their mother. Evelyn never wanted to take that chance. 

Evelyn: For now he seems… happy and stable he has a girlfriend, she works at that strip club in town. The one we’ve been monitoring, you see what I mean where I say trouble is all round him?

RT: I do. The woman, what do we know about her?

Evelyn: 5’9” average build, black hair, quite pale. Smokes nearly as much as the Sulani Seer, and has a serious attitude problem. I somehow don’t think she is a vampire though.

RT: That club bears some watching. I suspect it is the source of that new drug hitting the streets.

****

Evelyn: I have reason to believe it is, our informants have suggested heavily it is so.

RT: What is your opinion on the chance Professor Robinson is involved in this club? He is seeing an employee and his cousins happen to run the club. Also this new drug would take somebody with a considerable knowledge of chemistry to pull off, once again he ticks the boxes on that. 

Evelyn: What? No chance dad, none. Guy might be seeing one of the floozies that works there, but he would never push drugs on people. When I told you he’s a kind and honourable man, I meant that, and stand by it. We need to get surveillance inside this club to know what is going on. Right now all we have is guesswork.

RT: Very well, we will make this our priority. When the kids are in bed, get your brothers, we need to prepare.

[egret-orchids]

i thought you'd be better than this | pjsk fantasy au oneshot

^inspiration art by @/gamurin although i did crop the image to make it more header-y

word count: 657

cw: blood, fighting, injury

Mafuyu skids to a halt, boots sliding across the marble of the derelict throne room’s floor. They narrow their eyes, frowning as they wipe the trickle of steadily drying blood from their broken nose off of their face. They growl under their breath, lifting their sword in front of their face, ready to block the next attack, ignoring the twinge of pain from their broken rib; they'd been slammed into the wall early on in the fight. “Must you really push yourself so hard, General?” the sorcerer mocks from somewhere above; he’s likely standing on the balcony overlooking the main court, yet Mafuyu can’t see him. The bastard’s masking the noise of his movement with muffling spells.

They leap to the right as a blast of crimson light slams into the floor where they were just standing. They force a cruel laugh. “You ought to focus on your attacks, not stealth. That’s your problem- you waste energy on masking your sound, yet it drains you, doesn’t it?” they say, almost as if they’re simply discussing the weather, not sparring for some probably fictitious title that would take them from mere soldiers to the honour that the top ranking possible for the Imperial Soldiers bestowed. Or Rui thinks that's what they're sparring over. Mafuyu’s half-brother is a fool. Stubborn and extremely powerful, yes, but an illogical fool who would achieve his goals rather than making sure his health doesn’t suffer any more than it already is. Has he not noticed the Yoisaki emblem embroidered on their uniform? It was a recent thing, but...

Rui doesn't reply, simply reappearing in front of Mafuyu and shoving them onto the ground. They glare up at him as he places one of his feet of their dominant arm and presses his weight onto it, rendering both that arm and their sword useless until he moves. "I always knew you were weak, brother," Rui croons, a devilish smirk on his face, golden-brown eyes alight with mirth, "but never this weak. You're stronger than me, skilled with both magic and the art of the sword, yet I can easily overpower you with a simple attack. Strange, isn't it? I thought you'd be better than this."

Mafuyu scoffs. "I'm not weak. You've done something to your power, haven't you? Amplified it." they reply quietly. Rui's magic, when visible, always gave off a violet glow. Only the Emperor's mages' spells were crimson, and that was through the dark magic they were permitted to use. Sorcerers like Rui aren't physically strong or mentally stable enough to- using it could be deadly. Rui opens his mouth to reply, only to stagger backwards as harsh coughs wrack his body. Mafuyu jumps up, but doesn't attack at first. But then instinct takes over when Rui stops, a thin line of blood trickling from his lips. They take the opportunity to press their sword against his throat, cutting deep. Rui freezes, before grinning and summoning an orb of that deadly crimson light. "Really going to kill me, brother?" he mocks. Mafuyu doesn't reply, ignoring the lump in their throat. Slowly, they pull their sword away, ignoring the tug of disgust in the stomach when they take in the slit along Rui's throat. They swallow, sheathing their sword. "No. I'm meant to teach you a lesson, Rui. I'm not on your side." they mutter.

Rui stops, the crimson orb fading. His eyes shift to Mafuyu's uniform, widening in recognition when he sees the carnation emblem of the Yoisaki kingdom, mumbling a soft "Oh..." before finally stumbling away, face pale. Mafuyu turns on their heel, rushing away.

They are already out of the throne room when Rui Kamishiro, sorcerer for the Emperor, best of his year, famed across the entire empire for being damn-near invincible, collapses to the floor.

Pity they don't notice the gunslinger and his shy assistant sneaking into the room, the greenish glow of a healing spell on his fingertips.

[tigerplushh]

this is my beautiful gorgeous wonderful amazing mentally stable gf your honour he didn’t do anything wrong ever he was just having a bit of a bad day.

[pulim-v]

You convinced me to posy about my ocs so now i need an in-depth lore drop of your ocs please x (if you're comfortable obviously)

OKAY SO

Currently I have three OC stories, though two of them are much less developed than the third and as such they will be ✨ignored✨ for the duration of this post

MEET MY OC STORY - FOGGY GLASSES AND CORRODED COPPER

It follows two friend groups in a magic university, and their ongoing drama, which started when Spark (third left to right) caused an explosion in the chem lab and Mist (fourth left to right) was hit by it (though it only affected his hair)

MEET THE CAST

Mist Argentum (he/him)

A rules-obsessed perfectionist, Mist wears his academic success, born from a mix of talent and raw effort, as a badge of honour. Little does he realize, his perfectionism is slowly chipping away at his mental health, and he is rapidly approaching a state of burnout. Mist seems to hide some of his personal troubles from his peers - a rough breakup from high school still weighs on his mind, and his parents are an overwhelming presence on his mind that at times, somewhat contributing to his extreme adherence to rules

Spark Stratunimbus (they/them)

The opposite of Mist, Spark is just as good academically, but their success originates from less raw effort and more clever use of "shortcuts": a rule violation here, an assumption there, Spark's work is never truly foolproof, but they get the same results that Mist does. Truly, Spark was once much like Mist, but has long since gone through burnout, and never actually recovered

Rowan Lantana (he/him)

As much as a perfectionist as Mist, Rowan is the biggest hater that resides in the KIT (Kimoru Institute of Technology), and in turn is the most hated Chem course student. Extremely hard-working, he's consistently very near the top of the class, but almost always gets beat by Mist and Spark. That, surprisingly, isn't what bothers him most! He's usually content with Mist being better than him, but lately, having made his first friends in college, he has started getting weirdly attached to them - whenever he's near his friends he starts feeling a strange emotion, and he can't quite grasp what that is

Fern Penumbrae (he/she)

Fern is. A bit of a mess. A few years older than most 1st year students, she already had a stable job in Mount Kimoru, and sort of just... entered the KIT in a whim. An IT student, he doesn't have many friends, neither in nor outside college, and his family are residents of a far-away country , and is quite isolated in his community. Things are starting to change, though. She's made a couple friends, Spark and Octavia, and has developed a sort of crush on the former. All she has to do now is confess!

Dew Botanyuki (he/they)

Dew is honestly just taking it easy. They've gone through the KIT once and already have a degree, so he already understands what it's like and doesn't go through nearly as much trouble as the others. He should probably try and pay a little bit more attention, though, both to their own feelings as they aren't exactly aware of a crush that they're going through, and to their surroundings as the drama with his friends develops and stuff starts getting dangerous

Octavia Meringue (she/her)

A Sound Engineering course member, Octavia is in her 2nd year in the KIT, and as such, has already made some friends. However, due to taking Calculus classes again (as she failed them on her first year) she met up with Fern and Spark and the three of them became quite good friends! Things are getting a bit messy, though, Spark causing the lab explosion, Fern's developing crush on Spark and even Via's own crush on Dew have left her in a really complicated position and she's getting a tad overwhelmed.

And thats it! For the main cast at least. Sorry that this took 4 days LMAO

[banhchao]

sorry if this is a triggering question but ur inbox is where i feel most safe right now, to be honest :( had an argument with my boyfriend the other day and hearing him calling me out for being emotionally unstable and not ready for a relationship hit harder......like i knew i had those issues as well, but knowing those said issues had affected him and seeing him blowing up because he couldnt put up with them anymore.....well, it made me realized my current version is not what he needed right now...

i had failed to be his safe space during his low moments several times, and idk how long can my promises to be better and improving myself will be convincing before they turned into empty words....

breaking up is a selfish act, but....i feel like i should end things with him to properly do some self-healing and self-growth....

Hello my love! First off, thank you for considering me as your safe space - that truly is an honour and I hope I can keep providing you warmth and comfort and safety when I can. No worries - this question is not triggering to me personally and I don’t mind listening to relationship rants or giving any sort of advice! You are safe with me ☁️⭐️🫧

I don’t think breaking up would be the selfish thing to do - in fact I think it takes a great amount of self-awareness and maturity to come to this conclusion, especially if you still have feelings for them. I know we are always fed this narrative of “Keep working at your relationship even if there’s bumps, you will come out stronger when you overcome them!” And “If you give up so easily, you don’t really love them” but those aren’t necessarily objective truth. Sometimes staying in the relationship ends up driving you two further apart and hindering your own growth. With relationships, it requires commitment and comes with certain expectations and sometimes we as individuals aren’t emotionally or mentally ready to meet those expectations for another person. And that’s completely okay! It’s so mature of you to realize “Okay, I don’t think I’m emotionally stable enough to provide this for somebody else at the moment despite how much I love them, I need to be on my own and engage in self-growth and self-healing and perhaps one day I can be.” Please don’t beat yourself up for not being able to spare that emotional labour to be his safe space - we all go through times where we are so mentally mixed up ourselves that at that point in time, we can only prioritize ourselves. It takes a lot to be in a relationship - love can only do so much. The best thing you can do for you and him is to honestly break up and work on yourself separately. The pressure and expectations of a relationship is a lot and can stop or slow down the healing process which wouldn’t do either of you any good.

That’s not to say that I think you have to be 100% emotionally stable to be in a relationship - in reality there’s not a single person on this planet that ever is. In a relationship, both parties or one will go through mental rough patches - emotional instability is a normal thing to go through in relationships. In your case however, you deserve to focus solely on yourself, to strive for improvement without external pressures confusing you or pushing you too hard and hindering any real effort being made. Not that your boyfriend is a burden in any way - you want to help him because you love him and you want him to be happy and okay but you just can’t without possibly ripping yourself apart in some way. And it’s okay to realize that you need to stitch yourself back together in order to help hold those emotions too. If you really love him, the only thing you can do is let him go. Making promises you aren’t sure you will keep will only give him false hope which might be the cruelest of them all.

I won’t sugarcoat it - breaking up fucking sucks. It absolutely destroys you. You will cry until your eyes get puffy and dry, you will hole up in your room, you will feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach, barely beating. You will beat yourself up for “not doing things right”, you will drown in guilt and wish you could have done things better. But just know that breaking up will be the most selfless thing you do. Because you do have the option of delivering promises you can’t guarantee and staying in the relationship to avoid the guilt of breaking up because “you are working on it”. You have the option of keeping your safe space, of having someone to hang out with, to text late at night, to call when you are feeling down, to be held in their arms, to adore wholeheartedly. You have the option of not sacrificing the happiness and safety they give you at the expense of their well-being. But sometimes the best thing to do to the people we really really love and want the absolute best for is to let them go. And it doesn’t have to be forever - if fate allows for you two to be together, it will lead you back to one another. And by that time, you will both have the tools in navigating a healthy relationship.

i’m so proud of you anon. You are truly thinking with his best interest at heart and yours as well. You have an emotional maturity that SO MANY people lack unfortunately (just in my personal life alone, I know there are many people that would refuse to come to the same conclusion as you because they wouldn’t want to spare their emotional safety or feel that guilt. they would rather be cowards instead). what you are doing is brave and selfless and as shitty as it will feel for awhile, know internally you are choosing the right choice for you and him. it really is so healthy for you to properly break up with him and start fresh - the path to healing and growth can only start like that.

please don’t be so hard on yourself. please let yourself cry and mourn the relationship fully. you owe it yourself. and please if you would like to send a private message, feel free to! sending you all of my strength and love! 💓🪷💧

[phalangemedes]

hello!! this is true but also the intense and fucked up pressure of being 'gifted kids' absolutely and irrevocably messed them up.

You can be loved and cherished and in a stable environment and still have too much expected of you as a literal child fill of underdeveloped skull jelly. They burdened these bumbling baby pre-teens with the knowledge they were about to be in charge of EVERYTHING they had ever known. Like it was the greatest honour to be bestowed on them. And they believed it BECAUSE THEY WERE KIDS.

Palamedes wasn't just an adroit necromancer he was also SMART, he was clever and caring and dedicated and he was pushed and pushed and pushed to become something so important so young. And he was told it was an accolade, something to be proud of, what he should have always been aiming for. ‘You are the best so be the best’. The only reason he wasn’t an egomaniac ( which isn't to say yer boy doesn't have an ego, he does, it's just because mostly he's been in an environment where he's been RIGHT alot) is because Cam didn’t let him. Their love language is argumentative, it’s why he thought Harrow was ready for tea parties and sleep overs even though she was still on ‘that is definitely a murderer, I can tell. For reasons.’ And it made him self sacrificial for the greater good, against his own good, it made him think not only SHOULD he help but that if he couldn't he was a failure.

Dulci is SUCH a good example of this, because he was A LITTLE TINY BABY and he heard of this woman and he thought his need to fix her was love. That's so sad??? And it obviously became love, because he loves very fully anyone he thinks even vaguely likes him back. But that must have been such a MINEFIELD for Dulcinea?? And she was the first 'adult' who was sweetly kind to him, who treated him like a kid, listened to him and talked to him, expected nothing more than a letter back. She didn’t tell him ‘yes I expect you to make me live’ she said ‘thank you’ when he made things to make her life better, but she never let him get close enough his everything was sucked into being her carer.

And Cam... Cam was a sword fighter on a planet of data analysts. A BIG, STRONG, taciturn girl who was fond of the (inevitable) future Master Warden. And she was never an Alexandrite, so she was never seen as TOP TIER, never trained as a consort, and that would have been expected for him. Her own ego is also… strange. She’s aware of her ability but she doesn’t think she’d good enough, not in a ‘I have weighed myself up against the world and found myself lacking’ way either in a ‘Well it’s okay because at least Sextus has a clue.’ Generally she would have been DROWNED in expectations of what her station was. Either was a 'you have to git gud' or a 'you wont ever be good enough'. I wonder how much of it was why she became his cavalier primary, better to be thought of as unworthy as his cav without the pressure to spread your ‘inferior’ genes right???

Also they are the most fucking neurodivergent little shits in the world?? and whilst their obsessions and dedication past the point of mental and physical wellness were seen as a good sense of duty, it was not, and no adults were telling them 'hey how about you eat and sleep and stuff!!' because it was seen as a virtue to be obsessed.

If you're on planet library and your special interest is Learn Everything you're getting A*'s. If your job is Book Boys Stab Fiend and you're good at stabbing? You will be encouraged past the point of failure to get better at being a Stab Fiend.

And I don't think there's any BETTER way this is expressed than with Paul's birth. That is an act of LOVE and an act of WAR. It's an act of kindness, it isn't a sacrifice of their individuality, it's the best they have. Pal doesn't have long in Babs, Camilla is a kebab without a necro to fix her. And their choice? is to become a demi god surrounded by the family that put them in that position and their enemies. They put them in a situation who's only out was failure. And they said naahh and chose their own failure, together, hand in hand.

It’s the wedding you have in secret when your family hates you and your partner, it’s going to a family function 10 years later wearing your rings with a ‘Oh yeah we got married’ because it was for you but holy fuck you want it to hurt them too.

Smothering is no less or more than neglect, just different.

what drives me insane is that most of the codependent pairs in tlt were set up to develop that kind of relationship in one way or another except for cam and pal. they weren’t the last two children on their planet! they don’t have the excuse of having been raised as a matched pair! they didn’t even keep each other company for ten thousand years! they were two friends growing up in a stable environment among people who cared about them and somehow they still managed to achieve levels of codependency unknown to god by like. age 13

[auntie-momma]

What are your goals in life? (Within 6 months, by the end of 2025, and within 5 years)

I’m so glad I have a reason to trauma dump on the TL!

Im 23, I have a son just under a year old & I have a physical disability.

6months - end of 2025: continue working on being present my physical health & living in the moment. I live with PTSD. Predominantly but not exclusively from my childhood. I am currently living the happiest and most whole I have ever been in my life. I love being a mother. Ive known for years I am here to spread love and make a difference. He is everything I have ever wanted. This doesn’t make damn near 23 years of horrors disappear. Presence isn’t easy when the options I had as a child were be somewhere else mentally or unfortunately & literally die. The flash backs and the panic attacks only happen when my son is asleep or with his father. He has never seen me cry or be angry. I cannot impose the responsibility of my emotions the way It was forced on me. All day every day my whole body and spirit cries & begs the universe to keep my son protected in all he does now and forever. My physical disability sucks. I can talk about it if you would like, lots to get into to this is about goals. working on my trauma and physical health is the only way to assure I am there for my son & the family we create thus forward. Being my sons world and him being mine fulfils me in in ways I have never experienced so I will continue to do what I gotta do.

5years:

My father is An Indigenous persons. My mother was born in Trinidad. I am Canadian. Status, reparations and injustice within this land is something I ABSOLUTELY LOVE!!! Talking about but not the point of this question. I will be going to law school. Unfortunately I do have to wait until my son is around school age to be medically cleared to return to school myself. Circling back to making my physical health a priority, these are all cold and calculated steps. I have no problem being the one to take this step for the later generations. I will wear the “generational trauma breaker” badge with the utmost honour. I don’t care to open a business in my community or get into a trade. I will make serious and detrimental change. As a black, native, disabled woman- I know who I am and what i represent matters. I am who I am because I wanted to be. I never seen stable or decent. Good or true. I am who I needed when I didn’t have anyone. I will continue to be 4eva :p

[anemia-rp]

"I suppose you have a point there, at least for the wild ones but what about the ones that people keep as pets? The clean ones that have been raised by people since they were born." she looked at him curiously. She couldn't deny that a wild rat crossing her path would likely scare her as well, especially if it was a big one. "I imagine being a vampire you can't get a lot of diseases, or at least aren't affected by them?" she pursed her lips out some as she thought. "I have no idea if fairies can catch illnesses from animals. I don't want to find out though." She shook her head no with a small smile. "Nah I'm not afraid of you, but I have to admit that I was a little bit intimidated by you when we first met. Now I just think that you have the personality of an independent kitty. Seemingly distant, but willing to give a chance if someone were to stick around enough."

"Oh, I don't know if the handcuffs I have would be able to hold you very well. They're not very strong." she said with a small laugh and a cheeky grin.

"Well old habits are hard to break, so I don't blame you for making the same mistakes. I have made a lot of the same mistakes over again even sober." she added the last part with a bit of a dry laugh. "Well that would be a new meaning to man eater but don't worry you would be safe, I'm not a black widow or something!" she laughed while shaking her head. "I just have a side that I don't think people would expect from me now days. A side of me I'm actually kind of ashamed of if I am being honest."

"That's true." She nodded "It's always better when you have someone that knows you enough to be able to tell what feels good to you for those moments you can't vocalize it." A small gasp slipped out as her cheeks flushed a bright pink from the feeling of his lips against her. She wasn't expecting him to kiss her, but she returned the kiss all the same.

"I don't really mind them. I wouldn't keep a rat as a pet though, mostly 'cause they die after two years at most and dunno, I couldn't even deal well with the death of a pet. Probably one of the reasons for why I actually don't have one." His lips pursed a little as he displayed a joyless smile that however turned into a real one then, quite some amusement. "Yeah, that describes me quite well actually. And not everyone can deal well with cats. The funny thing is that I've got the feeling that people who are leaning to psychopathic traits or mentally ill people are quite often cat persons." At least from his experience.

"Nope? You don't have good and stable sex toys?" He chuckled. "We made it to get some real cop handcuffs. Some clan members brought them one day, guess I gotta bring them then. But guess no one could tame me in a moment of rage." At least this would become quite difficult and would need at least two strong men.

"True. And sometimes your will to change something isn't even strong enough. 'cause you think deep down you deserve that shit." He shrugged and smirked. "Is that so? If you go on like that I gotta know what it is. I mean, I've got a submissive side at times, and I tend to be ashamed of that as well." A lopsided smirk decorated his face. "But embarrassement can be a turn on."

He was impressed by her next words and his visage showed it. "Yeah. Someone who understand you blindly." The moment was intimate enough to make him want to kiss her; and besides of that he wanted to figure out how she would react to it. It was like a confirmation when she kissed him back. And it was an honour to be kissed by him. But he felt like she deserved it in this moment and could honour it enough.