#He is NOT mentally stable your honour

[king-candybug-backup]

More screenshots that killed me while working on that dumb disco stick memepost, but OH MY GOD, THIS ONE ESPECIALLY-

NEFARIOUS CREATURE

[princessjojo-x]

Taurus Venus ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

💝 the laidback temperament he projects is what attracts others to him. his comforting & predictable presence makes others feel at ease & safe.

💝 usually he’s perceived as reserved, mysterious & private. he’s cautious of new people, he doesn’t expend much energy towards strangers & he won’t talk just for the sake of it. others notice that his energy is valuable which makes him appear enticing. he tries not to waste his energy on what doesn’t matter bc he understands that energy is currency.

💝 since taurus is represented by a bull, he doesn’t like being perceived as the delicate type (even though he very much is). women may find it difficult to distinguish whether he likes them bc he doesn’t act on his romantic desires immediately & he appreciates patience in social interaction. he could be stuck on a woman forever, but no one, including her, would ever know.

💝 due to his secretive & self-contained nature, his red flags/true character wont show up until months into the rxship, causing his partners to wonder if they really even knew him at all.

💝 amongst all the venus signs he’s the least likely to experience love at first sight bc he takes awhile to warm up to new people. he takes his sweet time when forming bonds & he prefers to build rxships steadily. he’s definitely a slow burner & he wont change his pace for anybody. he’s slow-moving & hesitant in the process of love due to the intensity of his love & level of devotion he has to offer. it’s so hard for him to let go of those whom he lets in so he needs to be completely certain & guaranteed before letting his guard down.

💝 amongst all the venus signs he has the easiest love life bc he’s very wise in regards to rxships (even if he’s never been in one before). he doesn’t mind waiting for a good & dependable partner to enter his life bc he’s very patient. he wont date a woman unless she ticks his boxes & treats him properly. he may like or lust for multiple women throughout his life but he’s likely to only fall in love once. in spite of this, he can feel love sick & purposeless if he doesn’t have a ‘person’.

💝 he may seem calm but he has a lot of passions & feelings boiling beneath the surface. once he’s eventually grew fond of you, you’ll see a completely different side to him. he’s sensual, romantic, devoted, reliable & non judgmental to those closest to him. he’s undoubtedly an honourable lover & friend bc his affections are stable, secure & permanent. once he’s locked in he’s extraordinarily loyal & he doesnt feel the need to say it or advertise it bc “the proof is in the pudding”. he always makes his partner feel seen & appreciated bc of the compassion & care he surrounds her with. he’ll try his best to ensure she is taken care of emotionally & physically. for example, carrying her over a puddle or holding her umbrella. he’ll even refrain from arguing with her bc he wont want to spoil the atmosphere. he wants to see her indulge in sensual pleasures & will happily chip in there too (good food, nice clothes, etc). he is willing to spend a lot of money on himself & on his partner. ensure to show your gratitude & he’ll be loyal to the end.

💝 he has strong morals & traditional expectations. however, some may view these traits as boring, slow & outdated. he’ll set strict values & rules for himself; for example, not allowing himself to make prolonged eye contact with other women or not contacting other women without informing his partner.

💝 his self esteem is generally steady, he has a realistic opinion of his worth & he doesn’t depend on others to define him. however, in the beginning of his life he likely had difficulty with feeling secure & would’ve often compared himself to mental aesthetics or others looks. but once he has a solid grasp on what makes him valuable, nothing can shake his confidence.

💝 since he has a steady self esteem, he’s not easily threatened by outside forces. he is secure enough to let his partner take the spotlight. however, he is territorial & protective over his possessions bc he takes good care of them & has a fear of losing them. he can act this way with his food, his space & even his loved ones. he may limit his partners freedom by being possessive & controlling in covert ways. "i wanna leave a bite mark so everyone knows you are mine" vybz. at best, he is protective & territorial over her. at worst, he is obsessive & addicted to her.

💝 also, taurus is just as stalkerish as his sister sign scorpio. taurus placements know exactly how it feels to be abandoned & neglected so they never ever want their loved ones to feel that way. he will value his partner highly, treating her as a possession & a prized object (trophy wifey). he views his partner as an extension of himself & wants his partner to come under his wing where it’s safe.

💝 since he loves so deeply & has such a fear of change, it takes him awhile to give up on rxships, especially bc he feels his best when in a secure rxship. due to his need of security, comfort, familiarity & predictability, he may stay in expired rxships & be reluctant to start over. he settles for people he has deep attachment with, even if he knows there are better options elsewhere. it’s very difficult for him to let go of anything (including people) that he perceives as meaningful & valuable bc that correlates to his life’s foundation & his purpose of living. he is extraordinarily loyal & dedicated to his loved ones; he views his investment & resilience as a testimony to his character. attachment generates an adrenaline within him & he refuses to let go even when has already left or has worn down. he is similar to his sister sign scorpio in this sense; but scorpio holds on tight to control & possess, whereas taurus holds on tight to hoard & collect.

💝 since he doesn’t want others to know much abt him he can be secretive (especially in regards to sensitive topics). however, he will open up in comfortable & stable atmospheres. if he’s ever willing to show you his vulnerability & you turn out to betray him, it will hold a lot of weight & he will struggle to recover, since he’s so selective & careful abt who sees that side of him. he experiences heartbreak deeply & profoundly.

💝 during matters of love, his partner will need to give in to him at times bc he won’t readily give in to her. after all, he is a bull, meaning he’s stubborn asf, to the point of being unmovable.

💝 taurus placements don’t forgive or forget anything. at best, he will punish his partner by withdrawing from her temporarily or permanently. at worst, he’ll be relentlessly stubborn in his pursuit of revenge. his patient & methodical approach ensures a carefully planned retaliation. but it does takes a lot for him to reach this point due to his tolerant & patient nature.

💝 unfortunately, ALL venus signs have the potential to cheat but it’s definitely unlikely for taurus venus. he wouldn’t want to risk losing the routine & stability of a rxship just for a random affair. however, if he perceives a lack of commitment, physical touch, deeper intimacy or emotional unavailability from his partner - this will make him feel insecure, trigger his fears of abandonment & ultimately be the main culprit to why he’d ever cheat. not to mention, if he has other placements in air or fire elements, it will add a great deal of restlessness, despite the intent of earthy taurus to stay loyal. also, since he’s a venusian he can be shallow, fixating on physical appearance, which may manifest as him having wondering eyes. additionally, taurus placements tend to indulge in their senses & comforts (overeating, overspending) which could manifest as him seeking affection elsewhere (cheating).

💝 he’s extremely appreciative of art in any form & he’s infatuated with beautiful things (women, food, clothing, nature etc). he loves to comment on it, experience it & live in it for as long as he can until he finds the next aroma to romanticize.

💝 he’s likely a homebody who sleeps & eats a lot - since he values routine, stability, comfort & safety. he perceives lounging as a rejuvenating sensory experience (comfy clothes, soft bed, calming candles, tasty snacks). however, this could lead to overindulgence & greediness. he likely eats the same foods & listen to the same songs due to his reluctance to change. he may even have a complicated rxship with food & will feel triggered if you bring it up to him. food may be connected to his trauma in some way & he may have not gotten to indulge in food during his childhood, possibly due to an eating disorder, strict parents or limited finances.

💝 he‘s very sensitive & responsive to physical touch. if you rub or run your hands across his body it feels like electricity to him. he will smile & shiver delight.

Turn On’s & Off’s:

💝 he gravitates towards people who are self-contained bc that’s what he strives to be himself. he prefers calm demeanours instead of aggressive & in-your-face personalities. his ideal partner is able to keep her life grounded & stable. she has a solid plan for her life, no matter if it's big or small. she talks to him abt her financial goals & includes him in her plan for the future. she knows the power of planning ahead & taking well calculated actions. she has a soft but stubborn side to her so she can take control when needed. she is consistent, predictable, patient, respectful & well-mannered.

💝 he’s threatened by fast-paced & high-energy situations in the context of love. he definitely doesn’t want a partner who’s bored by calm rxships & doesn’t find intimate time to be meaningful.

💝 taurus placements have neophobia (irrational fear for anything unfamiliar). they like things staying the same bc it provides a sense of peace & stability. he will run away from anyone who challenges this perspective. he likes staying in his own bubble so don’t try to burst it. he dislikes people attempting to rush or pressure him into any form of sudden change. i can’t stress how important it is to ease him into new things.

💝 he’ll be eager to cut you off if you bring too much drama & clutter into his life; for example if he notices you purposely trying to make him jealous or uncomfortable, if you show him excess displays of negative emotions like anger or pity, if you’re an unpredictable & overly-aggressive person, if you talk abt or stay in contact with an ex, if you live a very chaotic & unstable life. he can feel over crowded by too much chatter from outsiders.

💝 he places tangible affection above emotional intimacy bc he has a profound need for material security. he adores being pampered & spoiled by a generous partner. he likes receiving high quality gifts, which you can’t just buy anywhere & have been brought with a lot of thought. he may dislike receiving cheap & tacky products, unless it has sentimental value attached to it.

💝 despite being excited by gifts & luxury, he is overjoyed by ensured tranquility & constant sensuality. since taurus governs the senses, he’s a very sensual being with a constant need of pleasing his senses. to impress him: consider lighting, music, candles, perfume, aromatherapy, lingerie, etc. ensure to be sensual, warm, easy-going & down to earth. you can dazzle him by simply promising him a cozy & comfy time. someone else making him feel more comfortable will be the main culprit to why he’d ever leave you. he loves holding & cuddling one another, just sharing personal space together, heart-to-heart conversations, having aligned views abt things. his perfect date night would be: cooking meals together, going out to dinner, having a “night in”, cinema, painting.

💝 he prefers to be pursued instead of persuing others. he wants to feel completely adored & desired by his partner everyday. ensure to emphasise your loyalty to him & remind him of his worth. once you’ve achieved that you’ll likely have his heart forever.

💝 he is a venusian so he always shows his awe for everything beautiful around him. he’ll tempt his partner to join in the appreciation with him. consequently, he’s turned off by someone ungrateful, wasteful, foul & disrespectful.

💝 he wants someone with similar values, music taste, fashion sense, hobbies & interests to himself.

💝 to impress him, look expensive & dress comfortable. dress in earth tones (beige & khaki). wear minimal makeup as he prefers natural beauty. bushy brows, classic hollywood, lace, nude lipsticks.

💝 if you reject his cuddles & kisses bc you’re not in the mood for touch he will definitely take it personally & he will feel hurt.

💝 he’s instantly turned off if he feels a lack of effort or trust from his partner.

💝 he’s turned off if his partner treats his family poorly or her family treats him poorly.

[strawberrysmootji]

Chapter 4 | Aucades fortuna juvat

Fortune favours the bold

18+ fic, minors do not interact!

Chapter summary: Aemond needs your help with something that involves his doctor’s practice and sensitive information you are not allowed to look at.

(edited)

Chapter warnings/tags: Mentions of death, corpses, dead family members, mention of dead child, inaccurate medical procedures, blood, maybe ooc Aemond???, reader not being able to mind her own business

if any of these things are not to your liking/ are triggering i recommend not to read it! Word count: 2.8k Rigor Mortis Masterlist | Main Masterlist

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“I really don’t understand why you would need me, my prince-” “Aemond, you should call me Aemond.” “I really don’t understand why you would need me, Aemond.” 

Honestly, he hadn’t even told you why he needed you as an assistant. He was a surgeon, he should be able to do things himself. You followed him through the long winding hallways of the castle, he was walking rather quickly. It confused you to no end. What was he in such a hurry for? 

“King’s Landing’s first surgical theatre has opened and they have asked me to perform.” 

Gods, you really hoped it wouldn’t be you who ended up on the operating table. 

“That sounds like an honour.”

“It is.”

His body was so stiff as he walked. Could he be…no.. “You’re nervous.” You pointed out before you could stop yourself from saying it. Aemond stopped dead in his tracks and turned to you. His body language was definitely stiffer than before. He didn’t seem agitated but almost embarrassed that he got caught.

“I am not.” 

Oh, he definitely was. 

You stopped yourself from saying more that could possibly agitate or embarrass him further. You were his future wife, you should start acting like it! You quickly gathered some confidence and spoke up.

“I think it’s normal to be nervous for such things-” “I am not nervous.” He interrupted you with a small scoff. Gods, he was stubborn. 

“Right…” 

Without a word Aemond continued to walk to his practice and of course, you followed you. You made a mental note not to point out his possible insecurities for a while. 

The two of you arrived at his clean practice. You had seen it before but it still surprised you. It was less messy than that time you had seen it on his little tour. Except for his desk. He had a small adjacent office that was separated by a wall and a rather large window. Through the window you could see the books, files and letters scattered around as if he was desperately trying to figure out what to do with them. 

“I need someone to organise…this.” He motioned at his office behind the glass window. He could’ve had a maid doing this but instead he wanted you to do it and you couldn’t wrap your head around as to why. 

“I have a last minute surgery planned for this afternoon. Your handmaidens…they told me you kept your room organised, so I need your…help.” It was very clear to you he absolutely despised the word ‘help’. He said it in such a unique way that you had wondered if he had ever asked someone for help in the first place. You weren’t surprised though. Aemond seemed like a person that wanted to do everything on his own. Still, his sudden request was suspicious. He barely knew you, let alone trust you.  

Was he testing you?

“Of course, I would love to help.” 

He nodded and took off his long black coat. He hung it over the wooden coat rack in the corner of his practice and led you to his office. He wore a simple plain black vest with black buttons and a simple white shirt that puffed out at the bottom of the sleeves. His new short hair suited his choice of clothing well. His stature was straight and stable. His vest accentuated his back well and you and to mentally scold yourself to stop staring at it. 

“These cabinets are for patient files, you mustn’t read them under any circumstances.” He told you as he showed you the half empty wooden drawers. The rest of the files were scattered around the offices on various surfaces. You still couldn’t wrap your head around it. How could someone like Aemond, who kept his practice so incredibly clean, neat and organised make such a mess of his office? It simply did not make any sense. 

He continued to explain where to put the books and other various things that were scattered around. You couldn’t focus on his voice, you were too busy analysing the mess in his office. It didn’t look like it was made in a fit of rage, Aemond clearly wasn’t a slob either. The mess looked too…staged to be genuine.

This was a test.

What kind of test, you did not know. At least you knew it was one. 

“My patient will be here soon.”

You nodded and watched as he left the small office. You could see everything through the window of his office. The metal operating table shone brightly in the sunlight. His practice was an unique room. It had large, tall windows that overlooked the Blackwater Bay. The ceiling was made out of glass, you suspected it was modified so that the room would be bright enough for surgery. You had heard of it before. Hospitals all over the realm had their surgery rooms on the top floor so they could make a ceiling out of glass. Of course, in a castle as large as this one it would be quite difficult.

You watched as he laid a white sheet over the metal table, blocking the bright reflection of the sun. He took out his instruments and when he laid the bonesaw on the smaller table next to the operating table you glanced away, hoping he wouldn’t have to use it on his patient. You instead, gazed at the ‘mess’ in the small office. The walls had a brown, plain wallpaper and you suspected the floor was made out of hardwood. All of his furniture matched and the space lacked any decorating if you did not count his degrees that hung framed on the wall behind his desk. 

You gathered all the papers that were scattered around the floor on his dark hardwood desk. The desk seemed new and modern, it had drawers on both ends of the desk with gold coloured handles, though, judging the fortune of this family you wouldn’t be surprised if it were actual gold. From the corner of your eye you could see the patient entering his practice. It was Ser Criston who escorted the man, they couldn’t let a stranger wander around the castle of course. 

Aemond talked to his patient, they even glanced at you a few times as you tried to get some structure in the mess. The patient changed into his scrubs and laid on the metal surgery table. Out of instinct you turned around so you wouldn’t have to see the procedure, you could later claim you wanted to give the patient more privacy. You opened the drawers and started sorting the patient files like your father had taught you how to organise important factory files. On alphabetical order and from up to down. Once that was done you glanced at the other folders. Some were financials, others death reports…lot’s of death reports…

Oh you knew you shouldn’t look into those

But you really wanted to

He did say he didn’t want you looking into the patient files, he never said anything about the death reports…right?

You glanced out the window and immediately regretted it. Aemond had just made an incision across the entire chest of the patient. A few nurses had come in while you were working, they wore long white scrubs that were already stained with the blood of the patients. Some of the nurses giggled like schoolgirls when Aemond addressed them and a flare of jealousy soared through your body. 

‘Dumb girls…’ You thought in anger and let out a small huff. You gazed back at Aemond, he wasn’t paying attention to you, neither did the nurses. You looked through a few death reports. You found Tayla’s certificate pretty quick, it was the one on top of the pile, the most recent one.

You glanced over your shoulder again but quickly turned your head around with regret. Of course your betrothed was pulling aside the skin of the patient.

You opened Tayla’s file, there wasn’t much information. There was a small sketch of the human body with two black dots on the eyes. Aemond’s handwriting was difficult to read, doctor’s handwriting..classic, but the small drawing clearly indicated the injuries on the body. 

It was strange, you knew it was always this way but it still seemed strange to you. How can someone die of just having their eyeballs taken out? That made absolutely no sense. You decided to read more but much was blacked out. The strangest thing was the cause of death being blacked out. To you, it would be loss of eyeballs or even drowning but if Aemond filled out something else… Then he must know what happens to the victims.

After digging through some more death reports you had quickly realised the ones with a simple turquoise circle stamp were the victims of the Blackwater Bay. You started to put them aside and organised the normal files first. Thank the gods Aemond wrote dates on them all. You organised the normal files in alphabetical order and when that was finished you could finally tackle the Blackwater Bay reports. 

You put them all by date first, longest ago on the bottom and the most recent one on top. While you were sorting it out you noticed a large gap in dates. There was a large gap that lasted from 1865-1969. A four year gap. The older death certificates before 1865 were written in a different handwriting than that of Aemond. Curiously you opened a file to see who it was signed by. Name: Bor WatersAge: 40/41Date of birth: //?//?//1810Date of death: 30-09-1841

Cause of Death: blacked out

Signed by: Dr. Otto Hightower Otto Hightower? Aemond’s grandfather?

You opened the drawer with the normal death reports and searched from one with a date before 1866. It was again signed by Otto Hightower. Perhaps Aemond took over the clinic from his grandfather? It would certainly explain how the Hightowers had gotten to know the Targaryens. He must’ve been their personal physician. You wanted to ask Aemond about it, but then he would know you had looked through the reports. Perhaps you could ask Helaena, she was kind, even with her queer quirks. Then again, she might tell Aemond about it. Aegon then? You really didn’t want to ask Aegon for help. 

You sighed and glanced over your shoulder again. Aemond was stitching the patient back up, that meant he would be finished soon. At a rapid speed you organised the rest of the folders in the hardwood drawer. While you picked the last one up a name flashed by. A familiar name. You halted your movement and looked at the folder with the light turquoise stamp on it. The date and name written with a shaky handwriting, but still readable, handwriting. Daeron TargaryenYour heart started beating faster and faster. You knew you would be imposing on some very personal information but you had to know. Your curious nature couldn’t be contained in that moment, even if you knew you really shouldn’t look. 

Name: Daeron TargaryenAge: 12

Date of birth: 23-03-1853

Date of death: 11-04-1865Cause of death: blacked outSigned by: Dr. Otto Hightower

You didn’t know how long you were staring at the file but all you could think about was Daeron. He was dead. He died when he was only twelve.

Gods, how old was Aemond back then? Fourteen? Helaena must’ve been fifteen then…and Aegon seventeen. That is too young to be losing a loved one, especially a youngest brother. Your hands were still trembling as you read it. You closed the folder again, you couldn’t bear to look any longer at the human shape with its eyes crossed out. It was disturbing to think a grandfather had to fill out his grandson’s own death report.

“What are you reading?” Out of instinct you turned around and hid the file behind your back. There stood Aemond with a large scowl on his face and his white apron coloured red from his patient’s blood. You hadn’t even heard him enter the room. You could feel the blood rushing to your face while you made eye contact with your betrothed. 

“Look, I can explain-” “I told you not to read the files.” “I was only curious-” “Those are confidential.” Aemond kept interrupting you. You could see how hard he was trying to stay calm. His arms were stiff at his sides and his hands were trembling.

You really, really, really messed up. 

“I know, I-.” You stammered awkwardly, there were no excuses you could make. Claiming you were curious would only worsen the situation. “I’m sorry.” You replied and stopped hiding the file behind your back. You knew he would find out sooner than later and it would be best to be cooperative if you wanted to salvage any sort of bond the two of you previously had. You held out the file to Aemond so he could take it from you. You felt sick in the stomach. You knew you should’ve minded your own business. You should’ve never looked, then maybe you could’ve prevented having to hand your betrothed the death report of his twelve year old brother. 

Aemond snatched the file from your hand and walked around you to slam it on his desk. He took the apron off and threw it in the corner of the room and sat down in the leather desk chair. “Look, Aemond-” “You have done enough.”

His words were cold and stern. He was really upset. He harshly pulled one of his desk drawers open and pulled out a small box filled with a few glass eyes. All you could do was stare as he tried to take out the glass eye that matched his eye colour. His frustration only grew when it wasn’t budging like he wanted to. “Fuck!” He slammed his fist on the table, his breath was heavy from the anger and frustration that was only building up in his body. He hadn’t dismissed you yet, that had to count for something, right? Your legs moved on their own while you slowly approached him. You made your way around the desk and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He didn’t shrug it off, he didn’t seem to get more angry. That was good. “Let me help.” You offered kindly, your voice was soft and caring. You felt incredibly guilty, you were the one that put him into his mood after all. “You don’t know how to do it.” He grumbled in anger. “Teach me then…” Aemond was silent for a moment. It seemed to last forever but he finally turned his head to face you. There was an evident frown on his face and he let out a deep sigh.

“You shouldn’t have been snooping through my files.” He told you sternly. “I know, I am truly sorry.”

He paused again. “Are you going to explain to me why you did it?” 

You nodded and told him. You told him about seeing Daeron’s name on a door. You told him about listening in on the conversation between Alicent and Ser Criston, about how Ser Criston had nearly caught you and how Aegon had basically saved you by pulling you into Daeron’s room unseen. 

Aemond shook his head in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Your curiosity is going to kill you one day.” “I know-” “Listening in on my mother, the queen?” “I know, it was a stupid idea and I won’t do it again.” Aemond sighed again and glanced up at you. “Curiosity kills the cat.” “You really don’t have to remind me.” You awkwardly replied. Aemond urged you to come closer so you did. He took your hand in his and gently squeezed it. 

“No more snooping around and no more reading any of my files, understood? Normally I would never make an exception like this but you are to be my wife and I suppose I can understand why you did what you did. Promise me you won’t do it again and we can start over.” He asked you sternly, though, there was a certain sense of softness in his voice that you hadn’t heard before. It was a strange but welcome change. 

You nodded in response. “I swear I won’t.” Aemond nodded, he seemed not to fully trust you yet but he left it at that. He let go of your hand and you strangely missed the feeling of his much larger hand being wrapped around yours. 

“I must admit, I have been quite secretive. I have kept you in the dark about important things that you should know if you become part of this family.” Well…he was right about that. 

“I promise, I will tell you soon.”

Aemond sighed again and firmly nodded, you thought it was mostly to himself.

“Now…help me get this damned eye out.” 

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Taglist: @helaenaluvr @saltedcaramelpretzel @certifiedhaters @imawhorecrux @jbaby2

[cinderkaliningrad]

Targtower family and the cost of war.

Listen to this with the Sabaton song - Lifetime of War. and 1916 (Another Sabaton song).

Aemond: Should not now us prevail?

Alicent: Not like this.

Okay, Alicent. "Not like this?" I ask for the VAR. ⬇

Let us remember the famous phrase: "I wish to believe that honor and decency will prevail." - A hypocritical phrase said from the mouth of a person manipulated by her father, who is trying to survive as a woman in a man's world. (We are talking about the hypocrisy of the Greens, not the crimes of the Blacks.)

Alicent blames Aemond for starting the war by killing Lucerys. But it was Otto Hightower (the series' ultimate villain) who manipulated her into marrying Viserys. The House of the Dragon, aka "the place where those who are at fault never pay what they owe."

LET'S START.

Otto Hightower starts it all off by drooling over the Iron Throne and plotting to dethrone Rahenyra.

Otto manipulates Alicent into believing that Rahenyra is ruthless enough to kill her children. Something that seems to be corroborated when Rahenyra asks that Aemond (her younger half-brother) be tortured to find out where she got that her children are bastards.

Cole kills a lovely grandpa council member and no body gives a fuck. Nothing new, because he killed Laenor's lover in his wedding (Laenor and Rahenyra) in front the whole nobility of the realm.

We all have recorded the multiple payments that Alicent makes to her allies by offering her body. Very much like Cercey: "Tears are not a woman's only weapon. We have the best one between our legs." We talk about her walking by the sword of Ser Criston Cole and showing her feet to the depraved Larys.

The use of the death of a child prince to win over the people. Causing great suffering to the parents of the child Jaehearys, Kings Aegon II and Helaena. The two characterized by not being the most mentally stable people in the world, let us also remember that they are 22 and 20 years old at the time of the boy's death. (They are literally, in today's terms: university students).

No shame in using a boy who is barely two decades old from birth for their own selfish plans. - Poor Aegon, he just wanted to get away and live in peace.

Espionage, the elimination of witnesses. Shatter the minds of three generations for a throne. (Queen Alicent, her children the princes and the princess, and their children). - Alicent has not hesitated when it comes to using them for its benefit. For "honor and dignity."

Queen Alicent wants to crown her son Aegon, after her dying and senile husband talks about some King Aegon guy and a weird prophecy. When we know 3 Aegon so far: Aegon the Conqueror, Aegon the drunk prince, and Aegon the Young (son of Rahenyra). Did anyone thought that maybe the words of the dying king weren't too logical? Aegon (the drunk one) was right about not being the chosen one.

A long etc.

How do you want to win, Alicent? Your son Aemond is little nothing more than a child trying to fulfill the desires that have been imposed on him all his life: to keep his brother on the throne no matter what the cost.

How are wars won, Alicent? Sending people like Aemond to die: children who have grown up with the wrong ideas, who have grown into fanatical men for a cause. People forced to grow up fast and therefore die young. And of course, dirty game. A lot of dirty game. So that? Alicent (spoiler alert) will spend the rest of her life crying for her children. And the realm will never recover. The saddest thing is that Aemond and Aegon will die thinking they did the right thing.

What was the cost of your greed, House Hightower? If you are not prepared for war, don't do it. You could have stopped it, Alicent, too late to regret it. No? War is like lighting a fire, once it starts, it will destroy everything in its path without control. And it is foolish and naive to think that you can enter a war without dirtying your hands and everyone around you.

WHERE THE 7 HELLS IS HONOUR AND DECENCY, HIGHTOWERS!?

[lagomorphics]

Majora's Mask remaster for the Nintendo Switch OLED screen could you please make a relationship chart for your AU's 🥹👉👈

ABSOLUTELY. SMILES. i've only made charts for narigoatlamb / narilamb but at some point i'll probably do some big charts including the bishops and other side characters :)

PUTTING IT UNDER THE CUT THOUGH BECAUSE THIS GETS. VERY VERY LONG. because i looove overexplaining myself <3

starting with lucky card!! since i'm still working out everything for how i want these threes dynamics to evolve i only have one version of their relationship </3 but heres my longass ramble on each dynamic:

Ines and Jahel's relationship kinda takes front and center for most of the au, since they're in close proximity most of the time, and they care about eachother A LOT. pre-Ines' deal they were 'friends', and only got closer because of All This Mess. Ines likes the fact they can be themself around Jahel, and Jahel loves Ines for all their snark and charm <3

Ines and Nari spend a lot of time having a very hot n cold relationship. Narinder usually texts Ines and holds the deal over their head to get them to go somewhere or come to the casino for something, which pisses Ines OFF because they like DOING THINGS, NARINDER. Nari has a very hard time being emotional and is practically A Wall, and Ines is. well. the opposite. Ines does think Nari is extremely hot, and (while annoyed) does go along with the deal they have, but it's only really late into things do they actually start to genuinely Fall for Nari. Nari falls first, because Ines' presence starts becoming less of an annoyance and more of something she.. really enjoys. Sorry about the divorce in their future

AND FOR THE MOST STRANGE OF THE BUNCH. HOO BOY. Nari does NOT trust Jahel (for very funny reasons. haha. lmao. lol.) and thinks they're going to ruin everything she has been trying to accomplish. Jahel is doing everything they can to convince her like "hey. i know. i swear i'm not that." but its. a very very slow process. The two probably wouldn't ever be alone with oneanother until like halfway through the plot, where Nari DOES try to kill Jahel. lol. it's fine. I'd say after that they'd start trying to get along a little better. They don't fall in love until post Nari's 'defeat' though

i also included a little funny. Jahel has another connection that they feel very very conflicted about :) wow i wonder who that is. aha. whaat. runs away extremely fast.

SNAH au <33 three lil versions of their dynamic evolving (can you tell i REALLY rotate this au around)

to start off; when Narinder was TOWW, Lambert was VERY infatuated with him, to the point that they kinda convinced themself that despite how much he talks about sacrifice, they would be the exception. To TOWW though, he grew to care about them and admired how vengeful they were, but watched as that vengence slowly cooled and mellowed out, almost resenting it. He always planned to sacrifice them, because to him; what's a greater honour than that? he promised he'd make theirs meaningful, though. Obviously Lambert did not like this in the slightest.

Post-defeat and for the early days of their relationship, Nari just kinda hated them really bad. To him, Lambert took EVERYTHING from him, including his own death. my Nari is.... not the most stable at the start? he struggles a lot mentally, and (if the day ever came) he knew he wanted death to be his end, to not even have That pissed him off. Lambert, however, still has lingering feelings for him, because at the end of the day, Narinder was like a friend to them. he did listen to them, let them spend time with him, gave them advice etc etc... so it hurts a lot to know that a) he was gonna sacrifice them (they are very pissed off about that still) and b) he is actively making everything difficult. it does not help that Nari is able to read minds and can use magic, hes causing problems and its stressing them out </3

they do eventually get to a point of being friendly though!

AND THE LAST ONE. so in SNAH, Nari DOES die at a specific point (lol), and it is an extremely rough time for both of them because Narinder realises Oh actually. i dont want to die. and his time in the afterlife is horrible, and Lambert is freaking the hell out because Holy shit. Hes dead. Oh my god. They actually personally go and retrieve his soul because the last thing they wanted was to potentially fail the resurrection ritual, but after all that happens they both just... grow closer. Narinder realises that Lambert cares about him so much, always reaches out for him and is ready to catch him at any moment. He realises he does still care about them, and he also starts to appreciate mortal life and everything way more. what dying does to a mf.

Nari dying also made Lambert realise their infatuation HAD changed into being genuine love and care, and also it hurt really bad to see him like that. it also helped them connect better to the domain they now rule over, and just... they realise that they never want to see him hurting like that again. they really do love him and want him by their side, if he wants that too. (they get. way better at Being Normal about their own emotions)

AH!!! AGH!!! (BLOWS UP)

[13thdoctorposts]

Because of all the recent asks about the current series I thought I'd send one about 13 to give you a break. So, in 13's era what are your favourite episodes and what themes or ideas did you find particularly compelling? Just feel free to gush essentially.

lol, I appreciate all asks but I do love to gush about 13 era so let’s do it.

I think many of us love Doctor Who for the theme of found family. What I liked about the 13 era is it shows found family in different ways.

You have Ryan and Graham. With Grace gone and Ryan being 19, they could both choose now to go their separate ways. But they don’t. By joining Yaz and the Doctor, they fix their relationship and become as close as any grandfather and grandson. Joining Yaz and the Doctor helps this, as the four of them become fam. It’s not about blood but actions.

Yaz comes from a stable, loving family. It's not broken. She and her sister clearly rib each other a bit, but they also have a caring relationship. But, what Yaz lacks is making her life have more meaning. By joining the boys and the doctor, she finds people to do that with. They are people she would risk her life for.

The Doctor has no one. She has just lost everyone and is still devastated by the loss of Bill. She has regenerated and is truly alone. But, she falls into the middle of these people’s lives. And while she has something to offer them, all of Time and Space they have something to offer her: companionship. She doesn’t have to be alone. She can see things again with new and excited eyes. Though she tries to keep her shadows hidden from her fam, they are also the rock that keeps her moving forward.

I think the era has many strong arcs. Graham and Ryan get through grief and choose each other. Ryan's relationship with his Dad. Ryan finds confidence in himself and is not let down by his disability. In the end, confidence and friendship on earth lead him to be ready to take on the world on his terms and help his planet. Also, Graham gets his grandson and gets through his grief of Grace, and is able to continue honouring her by looking after Ryan.

We have 13 with all her issues, particularly identity and letting people in. While she deals with her identity, her time is cut a little too short to fully deal with opening up. But, she does open up to Yaz about her feelings for her. I think that’s very vulnerable for this Doctor. And it's far more important for Yaz than knowing the Doctor's past.

Yaz we have mental health and confidence. We have her coming out and Thasmin. But, my favorite arc for the era is Yaz’s Doctorfication. It's really the end of all her arcs and time with the Doctor.

If we think of the kid we meet in TWWFTE she wants to be doing more to help, but she also wants to stick to the rules. She ultimately lacks confidence. She follows the Doctor (which is good for the story) because she doesn't have all the answers and doesn't want to sound crazy to her superiors. Theres a bit about worrying about how she'll be taken here. But, she was also willing to try to stand up to the Doctor. This showed the Doctor her leadership potential, even though she wasn’t there yet. And in a lot of stories she was essentially the 2IC of the team it wasn’t Ryan, Graham or Dan. And that 'flat team structure' was often more aspirational than anything else, lol. At the end of series 11, we know she’s had issues with depression. But, she’s also ready to follow the Doctor no matter what happens. So, even if she dies. 

In series 12, we dive deeper into the mental health. We see the way she reacts in Spyfall when she thinks she’s died. We see her story in Can You Hear Me. Through the season we see her step up and go off in her own, especially in Praxeus and TTC. Graham’s asking who’s going to go through first the force field to Gallifrey first. But, he hasn’t finished his sentence and she’s already walking through. She’s now the one telling people it’s dangerous and they don’t have to come. And we also start seeing those hints of her falling for the Doctor thought the series.

Then, in Revolution, we see her in what looks like a possible men brake or some sort of manic state that lasted 10 months. She slept in a sleeping bag on the floor trying to find the Doctor. When the most logical conclusion is that the Doctor is dead. Losing the Doctor breaks her. So, we see her mental health issues return. We also see how much she cares for the Doctor. The Doctor's friends have moved on, but Yaz clearly loves her and can't. This is after a season of watching her step up more. It's like a great mix of Yaz stepping up to find the Doctor. But, it's fruitless. And, it's also going backwards mentally at the loss. It's really quite interesting to watch the positives and negatives come together. Yaz might be having a mental break. But, she also has enough confidence to think she can still find the Doctor. 

Then we get to Flux and the specials. We open with married couple Thasmin bickering. It's my favorite scene of the whole show. But now we have a Yaz who isn't just letting the Doctor push her away. She's calling the Doctor out while also adventuring by her side. It's the most equal we have seen them. It's probably the most equal a Doctor and regular companion can be, one that's human. If you look at Series 11 Yaz and Flux Yaz we really have gone from a kid to a grown woman. She calls things out and speaks her mind. But, she also does good and helps the universe. In ways TWWFTE yaz could have only dreamed. We start to see more obvious signs of Thasmin and Yaz's feelings. This happens as she leads her own team through the early 1900s. She is now essentally the Doctor of this team. Then we have the specials. She has to confront her feelings. In LotSD, 13 confesses her feelings but says they can't be together. We see Yaz's confidence now ask why, not just accept the Doctor words. Then we get to the beach. It's pure heartbreak. There, we see a mature woman. She knows their feelings are real but they are doomed. Loving the Doctor is always doomed. and Yaz loves her enough to leave it.

Then in The Power of the Doctor, we see peak Yaz. She flies the TARDIS and catches Ace jumping off a building. She takes on the Master and saves 13 many times. She gets everyone home safe, just like 13 would do. We see her lose the woman she loves but in that episode we see her Doctorfication arc complete. But it's a healthy one. She has taken the best parts of the Doctor with her. She isn't burdened by the morally grey aspects. So she is as much the Doctor as a Human can be. She is the true successor of 13 to me. She was The Doctor's best student. She left the TARDIS without being morally compromised and with all the best lessons from 13.

You said to gush... probably didnt think it would be this much. lol

I'm terrible at picking fav eps so I'll do top 3 for each series... this is always subject to change. lol

S11 The Woman Who Fell to Earth, Demons of the Punjab, It Takes You Away

S12 Fugitive of the Jadoon, The Haunting of Villa Diodati, The Timeless Children

S13: Flux War of the Sontarians, Village of the Angels, Survivors of the Flux

Speicals: All of them 

[egret-orchids]

i thought you'd be better than this | pjsk fantasy au oneshot

^inspiration art by @/gamurin although i did crop the image to make it more header-y

word count: 657

cw: blood, fighting, injury

Mafuyu skids to a halt, boots sliding across the marble of the derelict throne room’s floor. They narrow their eyes, frowning as they wipe the trickle of steadily drying blood from their broken nose off of their face. They growl under their breath, lifting their sword in front of their face, ready to block the next attack, ignoring the twinge of pain from their broken rib; they'd been slammed into the wall early on in the fight. “Must you really push yourself so hard, General?” the sorcerer mocks from somewhere above; he’s likely standing on the balcony overlooking the main court, yet Mafuyu can’t see him. The bastard’s masking the noise of his movement with muffling spells.

They leap to the right as a blast of crimson light slams into the floor where they were just standing. They force a cruel laugh. “You ought to focus on your attacks, not stealth. That’s your problem- you waste energy on masking your sound, yet it drains you, doesn’t it?” they say, almost as if they’re simply discussing the weather, not sparring for some probably fictitious title that would take them from mere soldiers to the honour that the top ranking possible for the Imperial Soldiers bestowed. Or Rui thinks that's what they're sparring over. Mafuyu’s half-brother is a fool. Stubborn and extremely powerful, yes, but an illogical fool who would achieve his goals rather than making sure his health doesn’t suffer any more than it already is. Has he not noticed the Yoisaki emblem embroidered on their uniform? It was a recent thing, but...

Rui doesn't reply, simply reappearing in front of Mafuyu and shoving them onto the ground. They glare up at him as he places one of his feet of their dominant arm and presses his weight onto it, rendering both that arm and their sword useless until he moves. "I always knew you were weak, brother," Rui croons, a devilish smirk on his face, golden-brown eyes alight with mirth, "but never this weak. You're stronger than me, skilled with both magic and the art of the sword, yet I can easily overpower you with a simple attack. Strange, isn't it? I thought you'd be better than this."

Mafuyu scoffs. "I'm not weak. You've done something to your power, haven't you? Amplified it." they reply quietly. Rui's magic, when visible, always gave off a violet glow. Only the Emperor's mages' spells were crimson, and that was through the dark magic they were permitted to use. Sorcerers like Rui aren't physically strong or mentally stable enough to- using it could be deadly. Rui opens his mouth to reply, only to stagger backwards as harsh coughs wrack his body. Mafuyu jumps up, but doesn't attack at first. But then instinct takes over when Rui stops, a thin line of blood trickling from his lips. They take the opportunity to press their sword against his throat, cutting deep. Rui freezes, before grinning and summoning an orb of that deadly crimson light. "Really going to kill me, brother?" he mocks. Mafuyu doesn't reply, ignoring the lump in their throat. Slowly, they pull their sword away, ignoring the tug of disgust in the stomach when they take in the slit along Rui's throat. They swallow, sheathing their sword. "No. I'm meant to teach you a lesson, Rui. I'm not on your side." they mutter.

Rui stops, the crimson orb fading. His eyes shift to Mafuyu's uniform, widening in recognition when he sees the carnation emblem of the Yoisaki kingdom, mumbling a soft "Oh..." before finally stumbling away, face pale. Mafuyu turns on their heel, rushing away.

They are already out of the throne room when Rui Kamishiro, sorcerer for the Emperor, best of his year, famed across the entire empire for being damn-near invincible, collapses to the floor.

Pity they don't notice the gunslinger and his shy assistant sneaking into the room, the greenish glow of a healing spell on his fingertips.

[tigerplushh]

this is my beautiful gorgeous wonderful amazing mentally stable gf your honour he didn’t do anything wrong ever he was just having a bit of a bad day.

[banhchao]

sorry if this is a triggering question but ur inbox is where i feel most safe right now, to be honest :( had an argument with my boyfriend the other day and hearing him calling me out for being emotionally unstable and not ready for a relationship hit harder......like i knew i had those issues as well, but knowing those said issues had affected him and seeing him blowing up because he couldnt put up with them anymore.....well, it made me realized my current version is not what he needed right now...

i had failed to be his safe space during his low moments several times, and idk how long can my promises to be better and improving myself will be convincing before they turned into empty words....

breaking up is a selfish act, but....i feel like i should end things with him to properly do some self-healing and self-growth....

Hello my love! First off, thank you for considering me as your safe space - that truly is an honour and I hope I can keep providing you warmth and comfort and safety when I can. No worries - this question is not triggering to me personally and I don’t mind listening to relationship rants or giving any sort of advice! You are safe with me ☁️⭐️🫧

I don’t think breaking up would be the selfish thing to do - in fact I think it takes a great amount of self-awareness and maturity to come to this conclusion, especially if you still have feelings for them. I know we are always fed this narrative of “Keep working at your relationship even if there’s bumps, you will come out stronger when you overcome them!” And “If you give up so easily, you don’t really love them” but those aren’t necessarily objective truth. Sometimes staying in the relationship ends up driving you two further apart and hindering your own growth. With relationships, it requires commitment and comes with certain expectations and sometimes we as individuals aren’t emotionally or mentally ready to meet those expectations for another person. And that’s completely okay! It’s so mature of you to realize “Okay, I don’t think I’m emotionally stable enough to provide this for somebody else at the moment despite how much I love them, I need to be on my own and engage in self-growth and self-healing and perhaps one day I can be.” Please don’t beat yourself up for not being able to spare that emotional labour to be his safe space - we all go through times where we are so mentally mixed up ourselves that at that point in time, we can only prioritize ourselves. It takes a lot to be in a relationship - love can only do so much. The best thing you can do for you and him is to honestly break up and work on yourself separately. The pressure and expectations of a relationship is a lot and can stop or slow down the healing process which wouldn’t do either of you any good.

That’s not to say that I think you have to be 100% emotionally stable to be in a relationship - in reality there’s not a single person on this planet that ever is. In a relationship, both parties or one will go through mental rough patches - emotional instability is a normal thing to go through in relationships. In your case however, you deserve to focus solely on yourself, to strive for improvement without external pressures confusing you or pushing you too hard and hindering any real effort being made. Not that your boyfriend is a burden in any way - you want to help him because you love him and you want him to be happy and okay but you just can’t without possibly ripping yourself apart in some way. And it’s okay to realize that you need to stitch yourself back together in order to help hold those emotions too. If you really love him, the only thing you can do is let him go. Making promises you aren’t sure you will keep will only give him false hope which might be the cruelest of them all.

I won’t sugarcoat it - breaking up fucking sucks. It absolutely destroys you. You will cry until your eyes get puffy and dry, you will hole up in your room, you will feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach, barely beating. You will beat yourself up for “not doing things right”, you will drown in guilt and wish you could have done things better. But just know that breaking up will be the most selfless thing you do. Because you do have the option of delivering promises you can’t guarantee and staying in the relationship to avoid the guilt of breaking up because “you are working on it”. You have the option of keeping your safe space, of having someone to hang out with, to text late at night, to call when you are feeling down, to be held in their arms, to adore wholeheartedly. You have the option of not sacrificing the happiness and safety they give you at the expense of their well-being. But sometimes the best thing to do to the people we really really love and want the absolute best for is to let them go. And it doesn’t have to be forever - if fate allows for you two to be together, it will lead you back to one another. And by that time, you will both have the tools in navigating a healthy relationship.

i’m so proud of you anon. You are truly thinking with his best interest at heart and yours as well. You have an emotional maturity that SO MANY people lack unfortunately (just in my personal life alone, I know there are many people that would refuse to come to the same conclusion as you because they wouldn’t want to spare their emotional safety or feel that guilt. they would rather be cowards instead). what you are doing is brave and selfless and as shitty as it will feel for awhile, know internally you are choosing the right choice for you and him. it really is so healthy for you to properly break up with him and start fresh - the path to healing and growth can only start like that.

please don’t be so hard on yourself. please let yourself cry and mourn the relationship fully. you owe it yourself. and please if you would like to send a private message, feel free to! sending you all of my strength and love! 💓🪷💧

[phalangemedes]

hello!! this is true but also the intense and fucked up pressure of being 'gifted kids' absolutely and irrevocably messed them up.

You can be loved and cherished and in a stable environment and still have too much expected of you as a literal child fill of underdeveloped skull jelly. They burdened these bumbling baby pre-teens with the knowledge they were about to be in charge of EVERYTHING they had ever known. Like it was the greatest honour to be bestowed on them. And they believed it BECAUSE THEY WERE KIDS.

Palamedes wasn't just an adroit necromancer he was also SMART, he was clever and caring and dedicated and he was pushed and pushed and pushed to become something so important so young. And he was told it was an accolade, something to be proud of, what he should have always been aiming for. ‘You are the best so be the best’. The only reason he wasn’t an egomaniac ( which isn't to say yer boy doesn't have an ego, he does, it's just because mostly he's been in an environment where he's been RIGHT alot) is because Cam didn’t let him. Their love language is argumentative, it’s why he thought Harrow was ready for tea parties and sleep overs even though she was still on ‘that is definitely a murderer, I can tell. For reasons.’ And it made him self sacrificial for the greater good, against his own good, it made him think not only SHOULD he help but that if he couldn't he was a failure.

Dulci is SUCH a good example of this, because he was A LITTLE TINY BABY and he heard of this woman and he thought his need to fix her was love. That's so sad??? And it obviously became love, because he loves very fully anyone he thinks even vaguely likes him back. But that must have been such a MINEFIELD for Dulcinea?? And she was the first 'adult' who was sweetly kind to him, who treated him like a kid, listened to him and talked to him, expected nothing more than a letter back. She didn’t tell him ‘yes I expect you to make me live’ she said ‘thank you’ when he made things to make her life better, but she never let him get close enough his everything was sucked into being her carer.

And Cam... Cam was a sword fighter on a planet of data analysts. A BIG, STRONG, taciturn girl who was fond of the (inevitable) future Master Warden. And she was never an Alexandrite, so she was never seen as TOP TIER, never trained as a consort, and that would have been expected for him. Her own ego is also… strange. She’s aware of her ability but she doesn’t think she’d good enough, not in a ‘I have weighed myself up against the world and found myself lacking’ way either in a ‘Well it’s okay because at least Sextus has a clue.’ Generally she would have been DROWNED in expectations of what her station was. Either was a 'you have to git gud' or a 'you wont ever be good enough'. I wonder how much of it was why she became his cavalier primary, better to be thought of as unworthy as his cav without the pressure to spread your ‘inferior’ genes right???

Also they are the most fucking neurodivergent little shits in the world?? and whilst their obsessions and dedication past the point of mental and physical wellness were seen as a good sense of duty, it was not, and no adults were telling them 'hey how about you eat and sleep and stuff!!' because it was seen as a virtue to be obsessed.

If you're on planet library and your special interest is Learn Everything you're getting A*'s. If your job is Book Boys Stab Fiend and you're good at stabbing? You will be encouraged past the point of failure to get better at being a Stab Fiend.

And I don't think there's any BETTER way this is expressed than with Paul's birth. That is an act of LOVE and an act of WAR. It's an act of kindness, it isn't a sacrifice of their individuality, it's the best they have. Pal doesn't have long in Babs, Camilla is a kebab without a necro to fix her. And their choice? is to become a demi god surrounded by the family that put them in that position and their enemies. They put them in a situation who's only out was failure. And they said naahh and chose their own failure, together, hand in hand.

It’s the wedding you have in secret when your family hates you and your partner, it’s going to a family function 10 years later wearing your rings with a ‘Oh yeah we got married’ because it was for you but holy fuck you want it to hurt them too.

Smothering is no less or more than neglect, just different.

what drives me insane is that most of the codependent pairs in tlt were set up to develop that kind of relationship in one way or another except for cam and pal. they weren’t the last two children on their planet! they don’t have the excuse of having been raised as a matched pair! they didn’t even keep each other company for ten thousand years! they were two friends growing up in a stable environment among people who cared about them and somehow they still managed to achieve levels of codependency unknown to god by like. age 13

[anemia-rp]

"I suppose you have a point there, at least for the wild ones but what about the ones that people keep as pets? The clean ones that have been raised by people since they were born." she looked at him curiously. She couldn't deny that a wild rat crossing her path would likely scare her as well, especially if it was a big one. "I imagine being a vampire you can't get a lot of diseases, or at least aren't affected by them?" she pursed her lips out some as she thought. "I have no idea if fairies can catch illnesses from animals. I don't want to find out though." She shook her head no with a small smile. "Nah I'm not afraid of you, but I have to admit that I was a little bit intimidated by you when we first met. Now I just think that you have the personality of an independent kitty. Seemingly distant, but willing to give a chance if someone were to stick around enough."

"Oh, I don't know if the handcuffs I have would be able to hold you very well. They're not very strong." she said with a small laugh and a cheeky grin.

"Well old habits are hard to break, so I don't blame you for making the same mistakes. I have made a lot of the same mistakes over again even sober." she added the last part with a bit of a dry laugh. "Well that would be a new meaning to man eater but don't worry you would be safe, I'm not a black widow or something!" she laughed while shaking her head. "I just have a side that I don't think people would expect from me now days. A side of me I'm actually kind of ashamed of if I am being honest."

"That's true." She nodded "It's always better when you have someone that knows you enough to be able to tell what feels good to you for those moments you can't vocalize it." A small gasp slipped out as her cheeks flushed a bright pink from the feeling of his lips against her. She wasn't expecting him to kiss her, but she returned the kiss all the same.

"I don't really mind them. I wouldn't keep a rat as a pet though, mostly 'cause they die after two years at most and dunno, I couldn't even deal well with the death of a pet. Probably one of the reasons for why I actually don't have one." His lips pursed a little as he displayed a joyless smile that however turned into a real one then, quite some amusement. "Yeah, that describes me quite well actually. And not everyone can deal well with cats. The funny thing is that I've got the feeling that people who are leaning to psychopathic traits or mentally ill people are quite often cat persons." At least from his experience.

"Nope? You don't have good and stable sex toys?" He chuckled. "We made it to get some real cop handcuffs. Some clan members brought them one day, guess I gotta bring them then. But guess no one could tame me in a moment of rage." At least this would become quite difficult and would need at least two strong men.

"True. And sometimes your will to change something isn't even strong enough. 'cause you think deep down you deserve that shit." He shrugged and smirked. "Is that so? If you go on like that I gotta know what it is. I mean, I've got a submissive side at times, and I tend to be ashamed of that as well." A lopsided smirk decorated his face. "But embarrassement can be a turn on."

He was impressed by her next words and his visage showed it. "Yeah. Someone who understand you blindly." The moment was intimate enough to make him want to kiss her; and besides of that he wanted to figure out how she would react to it. It was like a confirmation when she kissed him back. And it was an honour to be kissed by him. But he felt like she deserved it in this moment and could honour it enough.

[college-girl199328]

As recently as a year ago, chronic offender Francis Joseph Boivin promised to try and straighten himself out and put his life of crime behind him.

A judge told him that although he was 50 years old and had a lengthy criminal record, there was still room for improvement and he could rehabilitate himself.

“I’ll do my duty, your honour,” Boivin said at the January 2022 sentencing hearing in a Vancouver courtroom. Since moving to B.C. from Quebec in 1998, Boivin has accumulated more than 115 criminal convictions, most of them property-related offences to support his drug addiction. Earlier this month, Vancouver police announced brand-new charges against Boivin, accusing him of stealing more than $40,000 in art from a Vancouver art gallery.

He is just one of many chronic offenders who cycle through the criminal justice system. The issue of chronic offenders has become the focus of lawmakers in recent months. Premier David Eby announced changes that he said would make B.C. communities safer, including a change in policy on bail that is intended to keep repeat offenders behind bars.

Longtime criminal defence lawyer Mark Gervin, who has numerous clients who are chronic offenders, said that while Eby might be the right person to solve the issue, it’s not going to be fixed any time soon. “If there was an easy solution, we would have done it. There is no easy solution, and it will likely involve more money.”

Gervin believes there needs to be more funding put into better housing, drug treatment and mental health support if any progress is to be made with chronic offenders. Boivin had stable parents growing up in Quebec — his father was a police chief and his mother a drug counsellor.

He was the youngest of two children, and in his early days in Montreal started using drugs at the age of 13, according to submissions made at the sentencing hearing last year.

Boivin had difficulty living under the rules of his father and mother. They tried to assist him with his drug addiction but eventually had him leave the family home. His past employment included positions as a carpenter working for a flooring company in Montreal before he moved to B.C. in 1998.

One of his first criminal offences in B.C. came that year as he was convicted of trafficking in a controlled substance in Vancouver and received a 60-day conditional sentence to be served in the community. From 2012 to 2020 he was living homeless on the streets of Vancouver, but in 2020, with assistance, he managed to find housing in a single-room occupancy hotel in the city’s Downtown Eastside.

At the January 2022 sentencing hearing, he pleaded guilty to two counts of theft and two counts of breach of a conditional sentence order.

Earlier that month, he had stolen $250 worth of vodka from a B.C. government liquor store on East Broadway. In December 2021, an unknown person smashed the glass front door of a store on Granville Street, stole money from the cash till and fled. Boivin pleaded guilty to entering the store about an hour after the initial break-in, looting some electronics and towels, and leaving the premises before being arrested.

At the time of the offences, he was serving a six-month conditional sentence order after pleading guilty in August 2021 to two counts of breaking. His lawyer told the judge that Boivin was under the care of a physician and had been prescribed medication.

While he was living at the Flint Hotel on Powell Street, there had been a decrease in Boivin’s use of illicit substances and less involvement with the police. He had had time to think about the future, said the lawyer.

Boivin applied for admission to the Visual College of Art and Design on West Pender Street. He was hoping to be accepted into a program that might lead to employment in that field. He told the judge that he thought his life was coming together.

“It’s time for me to have something different in my life. … I’m willing to put in the necessary work.” The judge said the fact that he had found housing after being homeless for eight years was a “huge turnaround” for him.

She ordered that Boivin serve the remaining 27 days of his conditional sentence order in jail. But despite signs his future was looking up, Boivin relapsed and was arrested on March 6, 2022. He was charged with possession of stolen property at the Source Enterprise antique store on Main Street.

After an unknown male smashed a front window, police arrested Boivin a short while later in possession of several items from the store. At the May 5, 2022, sentencing hearing, Boivin apologized for his actions. He told the lawyers and the judge that he knew they were trying to help him, and he wanted to take advantage of that help.

The judge sentenced him to a day in jail after giving him enhanced credit for being in pre-sentence custody for 40 days. Boivin was also given 12 months probation and ordered to report to Forensic Psychiatric Services. Asked if he understood the conditions, Boivin said: “Yes, your honour. I’ll be on my finest behaviour.”

Lorraine Shorrock, a director and manager of the Source Enterprise antique store, said crime has gotten steadily more severe in the neighbourhood.

“We experience nothing but crime now and it was not like that (before). We used to have a few drunks, yes, we’ve always had them, a few fights where they break a window. But I’ve never had six broken windows in a year.” In a statement, the Vancouver police, which put out a news release about Boivin after the art gallery theft, noted there was a national conversation occurring about violent crime, chronic offenders, and the justice system’s role in holding criminals accountable.

“We hear every day from the citizens we serve, and many tell us they’re frustrated. Small business owners see the same shoplifters day after day and week after week. Their staff are increasingly facing violence and being assaulted when they try to stop thieves.”

[social-media-shy]

Bad Buddy Series Week - Day 2 - Favourite Episode

Episode 11: An essay

I love this one because it is a reaffirmation of vows and Pat and Pran's commitment to each other. And it is so interesting because they keep calling it their honeymoon, while in Pat and Pran's relationship timeline, it sort of marks the end of their honeymoon period (though one could and should argue that that period doesn't really end for them).

My favourite reaction to this episode is from Psynergic on YouTube, a mental health professional, who talks about this being exactly what he would advise a couple going through an upheaval in their relationship - learn and try new things together (fishing, cooking etc.). It really reiterates why their relationship with each other is worth saving for both of them. And without the time they spend together in this episode, it could possibly be much harder for them to arrive at a stable place after the reveals and happenings of episode 10.

Also, the post sex scene is probably the most intimate scene I have seen a TV show so far. Above all kissing scenes and sex scenes, it is the one that really made me feel like I was watching something that is so personal and so private. I honestly felt privileged (and shy) to have that peek into their lives.

Also the loving looks Pat and Pran bestow on each other in this episode is one for the history books.

I still sob when Pat starts his "Thank you for trying to make a silky guy like me happy...". And "our song" really is the perfect song for their relationship and for this show on the whole.

Lyrics that are nothing new, no perfect sweet words for you, just listen with your heart to find the meaning and love between the lines.

It was really hard to pick just 1 episode. Honourable mentions to episodes 12, 3, 5 and 8 (8 just for Pat and Pran being communication and relationship conflict resolution kings). Honestly, episode 12 might actually be my favourite, but it just makes me feel so many things that I am even scared to start writing about it and I can't even rewatch it as many times as I rewatch the other episodes.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I'm going to have to (respectfully 😉) disagree with you about Walker. Warning: This got super long, so sorry about that. More after the cut.

Disclaimer: I haven't seen TFATWS in a long time so I may be forgetting a few things. Forgive me if so.

The first is I think it's important to remember that Walker stole a vial because he was obsessed with the super soldier serum (enough scenes were proof of that, most notably the one he has with Bucky) and the series was clear enough in showing Walker was not mentally stable - which of course the serum amplified as we know.

The discussion regarding the shield is about who gets to wield it. I don't think any of us have a problem with heroes killing people (at least I don't) but the circumstances of how those people are killed are the important part here.

Walker is running after Nico yelling "where is she?" referring to Karli. The next thing Nico does is yell he didn't do it, so they're both talking about two different things, but once Walker puts his foot on Nico's chest (this is after taking the serum) it's obvious he's stronger than him and Nico doesn't stand a chance. We, as the audience, see this clear as day. But as we also know he's not mentally stable and the serum only made that worse, he goes straight for vengeance and kills an unarmed man who is in fact surrendering at that very moment.

Now, you say Steve has killed before. Of course he has. But were any of those murders vicious? No, they weren't. He kills because he needs to stop the bad guys, not because he's enjoying those kills. I think it's clear that Walker had no issue enjoying this kill (think of Thor with Thanos in IW, it's the same thing).

When you mention that Nico didn't want Walker to do what he had done to him earlier, I agree with you. But that's the thing: we expect heroes to be better, we demand them to be better. And Walker failed at this. Compare it to what Bucky does to another Flagsmasher I think in the very same episode: he tells him to stand down and he walks away leaving him alive.

Now, the other thing is this idea that Sam and Bucky were mean to Walker from the start "for no reason". That is not true. They didn't like him, yes, but they had enough reasons not to.

First, Sam thought the shield was going to stay in a museum to honour Steve but then he finds out on TV that not only the government wasn't going to do that, but they had lied to his face and given it to a new guy. And this new guy is on live TV saying Steve was like a brother to him despite the fact that he had never actually met him?

And as if that wasn't bad enough, he tells both Sam and Bucky "I am the government" and most importantly he calls them "Cap's wingmen". Wingmen?! How insulting is that? And of course, he had the gall to call off Bucky's therapy. Walker didn't want an actual team, he wanted to be a leader and he expected everyone else to be his "sidekicks". If that's not enough reason to not like him...

(And this is not counting the times we see him losing his temper with other people and the many times Lemar has to intervene to cool him down)

Now, you mention they attacked Walker to get the shield back, but that's not true. The very first thing Sam and Bucky do is try to talk to him (much like Steve had done with Stark in the airport in CW). Bucky even told him to "not go down that road" to which Walker replied "I'm not like you" (kind of a jerk thing to say to Bucky of all people, don't you think?).

As for Sam, his literal quote is: "Listen, it was the heat of the battle, okay? If you explain what happened, they may consider your record". How is that going for the attack? That's Sam being sympathetic to Walker, trying to reach out to him. But at that moment we get two close-ups of Walker's face and we can tell that he's not mentally well. He doesn't listen to anything Sam or Bucky say to him, and they start fighting.

Walker was going for the kill during that fight (he even tries the exact same move he had made on Nico twice on Sam and once on Bucky), but Sam and Bucky weren't trying to kill him at all. In fact, once they break Walker's arm, Sam tries to convince him to stop, but he won't listen so they have to render him almost unconscious to finish the fight. So, I'm sorry but no, there is no way this fight was Sam or Bucky's fault.

Oh, and two more things. They worked with Zemo, yeah, but only because they needed him. I wouldn't say they trusted him or they even liked him (even though the series does try to make him sympathetic, but that's another story) - like Bucky said, they only had him around because they needed him. And the blood on the shield is a symbol, much like the shield is a symbol itself. It is there not because Steve had never killed before or he had never tainted it with blood before, I'm sure he did many times, but it's the how that matters. That's why that shot of the bloodied shield is so huge.

If we're talking about accountability, I can't for the life of me comprehend how Walker got off scot-free for Nico's death, mostly because the Avengers were put on the spot many times for a lot less. If Sam had done that, you think they would have been so forgiving? I find that hard to believe.

I still believe his saving of the van is framed as a redemption of sorts, which tied to the fact that he walked out of Nico's murder (oh, and lying to Lemar's family) as a free man, is kinda annoying, if I'm being honest. And again, not mentioning that he wanted to show up at the funeral guns blazing and he didn't give a damn how many people would die from that (Sam and Bucky have to convince him not to).

Walker was framed as unstable from the get go, and if he's going to be a morally grey flawed character then I'm all for that and it sounds super fun to watch, but he can't be a hero and sure as hell he can't be Captain America. US agent? Sure, but not Cap.

Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.

Credit to the original Ms. Marvel comics for that quote

A sentiment that is sadly lost on the current MCU

That quote is perfect 👌

I'm afraid Phase 4's core message is the exact opposite of that. You're good if we frame you as good regardless of your actions. And if we frame you as bad no matter what you do, you will be considered a villain.

Loki is the only one in the series who doesn't do anything wrong, who doesn't commit any crime or who doesn't abuse his power. Mobius and Sylvie murder people and commit awful crimes, but those are swept under the rug while Loki is condemned.

John Walker abuses his power, he murders a surrendering and unarmed man in plain daylight, he's willing to risk the lives of many to get Karli.... but he saves a van. He was "good" all along.

Ikaris betrays his team and kills Ajak but he goes on a tirade about how hard it was for him to know the truth as if Ajak hadn't known it for longer than him and carried the weight with her for years. But hey, he gets a lot of compassion while she gets none. Poor thing, he wasn't all bad.

And sometimes the movies handle things right, like what Wakanda Forever did with Namor, but the fanon misses the point completely and justifies his every action.... surely influenced by the way Marvel is treating a lot of their characters lately.

Dunno, I'd rather have movies that judge actions regardless of 'who is doing what' because that's how you make stories interesting. In the past, Marvel would write imperfect heroes and relatable villains who had a point.... but now the heroes act like villains and the bad guys have more morals than them.... but they're still framed as evil 🤷‍♀️

[slasherhaven]

I just found your account, so hi!! Could I request some HCs for slashers (whatever you’re feeling up to) with an s/o who struggles with homicidal thoughts? Thank you in advance! 💖

The Slashers with a S/O who struggles with homicidal thoughts:

Thomas Hewitt

Super protective. He doesn’t like it at all. He will never feel any differently towards you, he’ll always adore you, but it’s dangerous, you could get hurt and he can’t risk that. But if you decide that this is something that you just have to do, he will try to understand. When the next group rolls in, you can have one to handle, but he isn’t leaving your side just in case something goes wrong. He’s also just there for you if you need some support and comfort when you’re dealing with these horrible thoughts.

New duties. If you go through with the kill and decide this is something you can keep doing, Hoyt is foing to use it against you and tell you that you can help deal with vitcims now. But, on the positive side, Thomas is less reluctant to have you down in the basement with him. And that means more time with your man!

Michael Myers

A little too encouraging. Michael knows you and he knows that you aren’t like him. But if you’re having these thoughts, maybe you understand him more than he thought. He doesn’t care if you kill someone, it won’t change how he feels about you. He’s an enabler.

Date night? Would you like him to take you with him one night? You’ll be able to get a better feel for what it’s actually like to see someone die and to kill someone. He’ll even let you use his knife if you want to give it a go. This is all a very generous offer coming from Michael sooooo do with that what you will.

Jason Voorhees

He is worried about you. Now, he isn’t a hypocrite. He knows that he couldn’t judge you for your thought when he does all the things that he does, but he’s worried about your well being. If the thoughts distress you, he wants to help you. If you plan on going through with some of those thoughts, he’s worried you’ll get hurt.

A controlled environment. He might not like it but if this is something that you really need to do, he will try to be supportive. You can help him defend the camp. You can indulge your thoughts where you are safe, where he can watch and protect you. 

Brahms Heelshire

You? His sweet nanny? He’s more surprised than anything. You’re so kind and sweet to him. How could somebody so caring and nurturing have these kind of thoughts.

You aren’t alone. His thoughts are...different. But we all know that he isn’t the most mentally stable, he has darker thoughts. He can be violent and lash out but never with you. He trusts that your thoughts won’t ever be directed at him. That the two of you can share your struggles and help each other cope. Neither of you have to be ashamed around each other.

Bo Sinclair

Feels more understood. He would never admit it but he always wonders what you think of what he does, if it bothers you or not. Maybe you understand him and his own struggles more than he thought. Was this why you don’t judge him for what he does?

Well, if you ever want to give him a hand. Bo is open to letting you help him with the people who try to pass through the town. He’s still very careful with it, not wanting you to be put in any unnecessary danger. He’ll be right by your side, holding your hand through it all. If you want to back out at anytime, you let him know and he’ll take care of it. After that, he will keep you away from all this nasty stuff in the future.

Vincent Sinclair

He had conflicting thoughts. He’s not going to judge you too hard, he’s just worried about you. He knows that what he and his brothers did wasn’t good but he thought that you were...but you had these thoughts so what was he supposed to think? Is that why you seemed so comfortable here? Did he not have to be ashamed about the things he did...at least not with you.

You can be his assistant. He’s always tried to keep you away from the workroom when he had a victim in there but maybe you would enjoy being there with him. He’d make the offer, it’s totally up to you to accept. He reminds you multiple times that you can leave whenever you want if you decide that these these are best kept just as thoughts.

Lester Sinclair

Who is he to judge? It’s not like he and his brothers are upstanding members of society and who doesn’t have their vices? You’re still you and he still loves you. If you just need some acceptance and comfort, he’s on it. If you maybe want to explore those thoughts, he’ll be there for you.

He’ll take you into town. Where better than to explore all these thoughts than Ambrose? You can talk to Bo about helping out. Next time a group of unsuspecting people come by, Lester will take you with him and you can be his partner. He just wants to help you in whatever way you need to to.

Bubba Sawyer

Are you okay?! Bubba could never judge you for your thoughts considering what his family does but he’s worried about the thoughts upsetting you. If they do upset you, he will be eager to comfort you. If you aren’t upset by them and would actually like to act on them, he’ll be supportive but silently fretting about you being in a dangerous situation.

Officially a Sawyer! If you do act on these thoughts, the whole family is supportive of you. Look at you, you’re taking on their traits, you’re helping to provide for the family. Even Drayton considers you family at this point.

Billy Lenz

Relates to your struggle. Billy understands, he’s had some...concerning thoughts as well, but you know all about that. He would never judge you for this because you had always been so accepting to him.

Supporting each other. You have been a miracle to him, replacing those thoughts with something more positive. You make those thoughts fade and he hopes that he can do the same for you. No matter what, the two of you are there to support each other when you’re struggling, you taught him that.

Asa Emory (The Collector)

Will take you to the hotel. You know of the place but have only visited rarely. It’s dangerous and not for the faint of heart, so he likes to keep you away from it. But with this new information, he’s more willing to get you familiar with it. He’s surprised by your confession but in the end knows he can’t be too judgmental, he’s actually interested in how this will play out.

Eases you into it. He’ll show you around, show you his collection, show you a victim he is already holding. He’ll let you watch him work, reminding you that if you want to back out, you have to say so. He can’t help if you don’t speak up. But once you’re standing at the table, knife in hand, him right behind you, he reminds you that it’s now or never. Do you really have the stomach for it?

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)

Supportive. He’s not going to freak out or think differently of you. This is interesting and he wants to explore it further with you. Unless the thoughts distress you, then he will worry and he won’t push you to act on them.

Accompanying him on his ‘business trip’. If you do want to act on those thoughts, you’re coming along with him this time. Even if you normally travel with him, you’ll be playing a part in his ‘work’ this time. He’ll even let you watch some of his tapes so you can prepare yourself for what you’re going to be experiencing. If right then you decide that you can’t do this, that’s perfectly fine. But if you’re still okay to go through with this, Jesse will bring you a victim himself, subduing them so that your first kill can be easy. He doesn’t want to risk your wellbeing at all. He’s right there the whole time and you can back out at any moment, he’ll just deal with them instead.

Otis Driftwood

Want to give it a try? It’s a genuine question, not one to pressure you. Otis knows that this isn’t for everyone and that homicidal thoughts are very different to actually killing somebody. If you want to explore it, he’s super supportive, but if not that’s fine too. He’s oddly...patient about the whole thing.

Proud. If you go through with the kiss and it turns out that you enjoyed it, he is just so proud of you. Look at you, fitting right into the family. It also reaffirms to him that you are happy with him. You’re fucked like the rest of the family, still better than him, but it looks like the two of you were just made for him.

Baby Firefly 

What are you waiting for?! Why did you say something sooner! The two of you could have been killing together all this time! She wants to hear every grizzly detail of your thoughts. She is the biggest enabler but reluctantly understands if you don’t want to actually make these thoughts real. But you know where to find her if you change your mind!

Victim shopping. Baby will make a night of it. The two of you heading out with the intention of bringing a victim or two home. She wants you to pick your first kill, this is a big deal! And if you decide you don’t want to kill anyone, you can help her bring her choice back.

Yautja (Predator)

Isn’t quick to judge. His race is known for being ultimate predators, killers, so he’s not going to demonise you over some thoughts. Talk to him, help him understand what you’re struggling with, he is here to help you and support you.

Will train you. If you wish to explore these thoughts in a more...realistic setting. He will help you. He’ll teach you how to focus those thoughts on something more worthy, how to hunt worthy kills and avoid hurting anyone who’s innocent. Will teach you their honour code and how killing can both bring you honour or bring you dishonour. He’ll guide you through it all.

[ackermans-freedom-inc]

bro do i have some angst for YOU. Okay sO

Ya know those oneshots where Levi has a nightmare about reader dying and he wakes up and she’s not there but she comes back and comforts him?

WHAT IF IT WAS MORE ANGSTY

Levi wakes up and reader isn’t there. She went missing on expedition a week ago. And Levi has to deal with it. Hange, Erwin, and Mike can all tell this man is a WRECK i mean he looks BAD so they try to comfort him but it doesn’t work.

Another week passes. Levi’s mental and emotional state get worse. But, at about 4 a.m, the Survey Corps gets a knock on thier door. AND ITS READER.

Turns out she was trapped under a fallen tree during the expedition and couldn’t get out, but after spending DAYS digging around the area she was at with her hands she manages to haul herself out. Prob has a minor leg fracture. She had to walk the massive distance all the way home, and survived by only traveling at night and scavenging food and working gear from soldiers of the past. Now this girl prob has a bit of trauma bc i’m p sure being trapped under a tree for several days and then walking home with a fractured leg while trying to avoid man eating monsters might be stressful. In the end, both Levi and reader comfort each other 😌

A/N: SJAKFLAFJALF @hidehaskak YOUR ASKS ARE ALWAYS SO ANGSTY HOW U HAVE SUCH IDEAS!!!! Thank you for trusting me to keep writing your ideas im so honoured. Hope I captured what you wanted and hope YOU ENJOY. <333

You Weren’t There - Angst, hurt/comfort, blood mention

Levi woke in a sweat, his hand already reaching out to feel for your body next to him. To assure him you were there and not like he had dreamed, remaining arm reaching out to him as you yelled your love for him before the light left your eyes, small body torn apart by the hideous beasts. His eyes wide opened at what he felt. The bed was cold. You weren’t there.

Feeling a chill run down his back, Levi got dressed, running down the halls, checking in every room, even the stables. You weren’t there.

He finally burst into Erwin’s room, finding Hanji and Mike already in there, eyes looking towards him in sympathy.

“Erwin!” his voice was raw from screaming your name. “Y/N…have you seen her? She…”

“Levi…” Erwin’s voice was soft as Hanji patted his shoulder, Mike getting off his chair and offering it to Levi as he also pressed a soft hand against the frazzled man.

“Levi…she’s been missing a week now.”

“A fucking week?” the man was delirious from lack of sleep. Every time he closed his eyes all he would see is you. The way you pressed a kiss to his cheek away from prying eyes. The way you told him you loved him before riding off with your squad, promising to would come back safe. You weren’t there.

Every night his friends would gather when they heard his door slam open. Every night they would look at his face, gaunt and lifeless eyes meeting theirs frantically as he once again screamed about your disappearance, as if it had just occurred. Every night they would comfort him, usually having to resort to a light sedative.

Night after night this occurred. And night after night, you were nowhere to be found. No body, no blood, no sign of where you had disappeared off to.

It was unheard of for someone to survive that long out there, and the other veterans all tried to explain that to Levi. But the man wouldn’t hear any of it. You were alive. Because if you weren’t why was his heart still beating? He had long admitted to the fact that he could not live without you. So why. Why was he here, suffering alone? You had promised him. And you would never lie.

By the fourteenth night Hanji was consulting with Erwin about putting an IV in. Levi’s eyes were bloodshot, his sleep useless as he woke up more agitated. He refused to eat anything more than bread, washing it down with water. He didn’t want to eat if you didn’t bring it for him. He didn’t want to even think about tea that wasn’t brewed by you.

He just didn’t want to think anymore. You weren’t there.

So when the knock echoed through the quiet barracks that night, just when the sky was starting to lighten, everyone thought they were looking at a ghost. Your beautiful hair was matted and tangled, dirty and grime caked on. Your uniform was torn, edges the colour of rust where your blood splashed against it. Your nails were almost gone, and your bloodied fingers trembled. You were carrying gear, strapped together with cables, barely holding together as you wretched onto the floor of the main hall, body shutting down after so many days out there alone. Just as his name fell across your lips, he appeared, on his nightly search for you. His eyes widened as he lost his footing in his rush, pulling you close to him as you both fell, cushioned against his body as he took the impact.

You were both sobbing, clinging to him as you whispered how sorry you were, how you had fucked up. Him, silent tears running down his face as he mapped your features with his hands. Ten fingers, two arms, your beautiful eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. He crushed you to him, eyes closing. Not even caring that you were covered in dirt and grime. Finally. You were there. You were there.

It took a lot of coaxing between Hanji and Erwin to get the both of you off the ground. Mike ran to draw a bath while Hanji tended to your wounds. Most of them had healed on their own already, so all they could do was wipe off the dirt and disinfect the area. You had hissed when they assessed your leg. The swelling and heat a telltale sign of a fracture. Levi refused to let go of your hand, clutching it against his chest while Hanji worked. In between Hanji’s medical questions, Erwin asked his own. He wanted to know exactly what happened to you.

So you told them. The blinded titan was in a rage, arms swinging as it roared its pain. You had managed to dodge its swing and sliced its nape but failed to account for its weight as it fell against a tree. As the titan sizzled away, steam rising, you were dragged down by your hook, no time to release it, which resulted in the tree, and you, crashing to the ground.

You spent the better of 2 days digging, your fingers bloodied as you clutched your leg, ripping off the material of your sleeve to tie your leg, an attempt to prevent the bones from shifting too much. Many a time, titans tried to pry the tree off you, their teeth and hands snapping dangerously close. But they were all smaller sized, lacking the strength to pull the tree any distance to allow them better access to you. You had laughed, thinking the world still merciful.

When you crawled your way out from under the tree, you limped stubbornly towards base. Always during the night, only a stick to protect you from the other dangers out in the forest. You scavenged for food, berries, leaves, roots. Whatever you could find. When you came across fallen soldiers, you assessed their gear, trying to put together some type of working hook and gas canister to allow you rest in a tree during the day when the titans were roaming.

And so you made it home. Limping on your swollen leg night after night, refusing to give up. Refusing to die alone out there when you had promised Levi. Tears fell down your cheeks as you finished your explanation. Levi’s eyes were wide in shock, unable to comprehend the sheer will that possessed you to haul yourself home, facing dangers without working gear and a broken leg. He was so thankful you had made it back but was guilted that it was your promise to him that caused you to suffer through all the pain. But you were there. With him. In his arms.

He held you close as Erwin and Hanji stood speechless at your story, letting Levi lead you to your bath when Mike reported back, breathless in his haste, that it was ready for you.

The others bid you a soft goodnight as Hanji reminded you to stay off your leg as it healed, Erwin already relaying to Mike your bravery and determination.

That night, Levi refused to let you go. You were wrapped up in his arms, leg tucked away from danger as he held you close. He had his head pressed to your chest, listening to the beating of your heart. You breathed in his scent, still trembling in disbelief. It took many hours for the both of you to finally fall into a restful slumber, each having to make sure, beyond a reasonable doubt that the other was indeed, there and alive in their arms. You were there, and so was he.