#He hates how good of a life he had; Jealous he could be so judgemental of him and those with high LVLs

[hannahsturniolo]

ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ᴏɴ ᴄᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇʀᴀ ᴘᴏᴅᴄᴀsᴛ

Warnings: none. It’s just fluff 😊

(Not proof read)

Summary: influencer!Y/N and Matt have been in a relationship for about 6 months now, and have decided that they were going to announce their relationship on Cut The Cameras Podcast.

Blue writing is Matt talking

Orange is Chris talking

Purple is Nick talking

Pink is Y/N talking

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You were so nervous, this was your first ever podcast as an influencer with 3.5 million followers, but also your hard launch with Matt. You were nervous because of how the sturniolo fandom is when it comes to the boys dating.

“Am I good enough?” “Will they like me?” “Will I get a ton of hate?” Is all you kept thinking to yourself.

“Welcome campers to the Cut The Camera Podcast, today we are here with a special guest…… Y/N.”

“Hi hi hi! Thanks for having me! I’m so excited to be here!”

You were sitting right next to Matt, his hand was touching your thigh rubbing gentle circles on it where nobody could see, because he knew you were nervous, so he was trying to keep you calm.

“We are going to be talking about relationships this podcast, but before we hop into that topic, if the fans don’t know you Y/N, can you tell them about yourself?”

“Of course… so if you don’t know, my name is Y/N I’m from New Jersey, but now living in LA since I’m an influencer, and have been living here for over a year now. I met the boys about 2 years ago now since I’d come to LA for working purposes and met them at Tara’s party. I’m not sure what else to say about me” you laughed nervously.

“Well since we’re talking about relationships today, would you like to talk about your relationship, and who you’re with?”

You looked at Matt nervously. He gave you a gentle smile, while his hand was still rubbing gentle circles on your thigh.

“So I have been dating Matt for about 6 months now, we have been talking since we met 2 years ago but only started dating 6 months ago.”

Matt started to giggle. He was so excited that the news was finally shared to the world. (Even though they wouldn’t see it until it was posted in a week)

Nick and Chris were just smiling at you and Matt sitting beside each other.

“How did this relationship come about? Did one of you tell each other you liked them, and the other went along with it. Can you talk about that?”

You gave Matt the signal that he could talk about it.

“Yeah, so when we met 2 years ago, I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, but I was so nervous that I’d fuck it up so I kinda kept quiet about it, and we all remained friends with Y/N. She would come visit all the time in LA, but once she moved to LA, I knew it was my chance, so I asked her out to dinner, and she said yes.”

“So did you ask her to be your girlfriend at dinner?”

“Yeah. So what happened was, at dinner I told her I liked her more than a friend, and she admitted to liking me too. So we continued to see each other and go on multiple dates. And after about 3 dates I asked her to be my girlfriend.”

You couldn’t contain your smiling. You were smiling the whole time Matt was talking about you, and had pink blushed cheeks.

“How did you ask her to be your girlfriend?”

“On our final date as just seeing each other, we walked down to the beach after dinner and we just sat by the water watching the sunset. We were just chatting about life, when all of a sudden we made very intense eye contact and then next thing you know we shared a kiss. So then I laughed and said ‘I guess we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now’”

“What are you guys most nervous about with this podcast coming out?”

You knew you had to speak up, and let the fans know you were a little nervous.

“I’m Very nervous. Dating another influencer is going to be hard because your fan base is mostly women and girls, and girls can be very judgemental. I was a little girl once who dreamed of marrying harry styles and any woman he was with, I was so jealous because I was so convinced. And I know there’s girls who loveee Matt. So it just worries me a little bit.”

“I also think just seeing her get hate will absolutely crush me. I know and she knows she’s going to get it. But there will be a ton of supportive fans that will love her just like I love her.”

“What’s your favourite thing about Matt, Y/N?”

“His patience, his understanding. I also suffer with anxiety and depression and he’s very patient with me. Whenever he knows I’m really struggling, he’s always there for me. Oh! And the random little gifts that he showers me with. Just the random flowers, the random chocolates, the random dates that he’ll just text me saying ‘be ready by 8, we’re going out’ , it’s all the little things he does for me.”

“And Matt… what’s your favourite thing about Y/N?”

“How she makes everything so fun. Like her little giggles when she’s happy. Her random FaceTime calls at 3am because she misses me. How her eyes sparkle when she’s so excited to talk about her passions. She’s just such an amazing person. She’s always there for me when I’m having a bad day. She just knows how to cheer me up. I love everything about her, and I feel like the fans who don’t know her yet, will fall in love with her.”

Matt looks over at you with a gentle smile. You couldn’t help but reach down and grab his hand. You looked at him with such awe. You were so in love with him, it was crazy.

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you too.” You said shyly.

Matt reaches over, and kisses your cheek.

“Ew okay. Next question….” Nick laughed. “They’re so in love. All Matt does is talk about how much he loves Y/N”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Let me know how you guys liked this. I think this is so cute. I’m terrible at writing so maybe this played better in my head😂

I miss their podcast so much😭😭😭

[yourbasicqueerie]

My thoughts on passion

- stanning patti lupone has led me to places i wouldn’t even go armed with a gun

- steven sondheim really heard patti yell smth during one of those Mia Farrow moon parties and though  “oh hell yeah, her screams would be divine for fosca”.

michael cerveris just GLARING at patti lupone (my man is jealous of her cunty ass gigantic wig)

FUCK YOU STEVEN SONDHEIM AND YOUR BIGGER THAN LIFE CHARACTERS! WHY IS IT THAT EVERYTIME I START A SHOW OF YOURS I SUFFER TOGETHER WITH THE PERSONAS? ABSURD MEN WITH A GREAT UNDERSTANDING FOR FEELINGS I ADORE YOU AND YOUR AMAZING MIND

“they hear drums, we hear music,👏BE👏MY👏FRIEND👏”AHHHHHHH

the wish to not be treated as if you were special and to not be babied by others all because of your illness, something so small and trivial about you as a person, but that ends up taking over all of you until all that the others can see about is that. ohhhh i’m not felling well

WHY DID I MAKE MYSELF WHATXH PASSION IVE BEEN GOING DOWNHILL IN MY MIND FOR THE PAST HOUR, OH FOSCA MY LOVE MY HEART, PLEASE LET ME HOLD YOU AND HAVE YOU NEAR ME, UNDERSTAND THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE DESPERATE FOR ANY KIND OF LOVE, TO SETTLE FOR THE LESSER IS NEVER THE CORRECT CHOICE

to obcess over somebody because they have given u the slightest ammount of affection in a setting where you once where short of invisible ohhhh fosca i see you doll

i’m no fool, i know you don’t feel the same towards me. but, one loves a dog, an animal, what can i do to get you to love me, a human being such as yourself” ??????? sondheim in kicking the doors of heaven and screaming at you

“my emotions sometimes overpower my judgement” ????? i feel called out

every single character is so deeply fucked i cannot-

fosca my roleplay queen fr, make ur fantasy mama pop off

SHE MAKING HIM WRITE A LETTER FOR HER AS HIM SAYING WHAT SHE WISHES HIM TO SAY OHHHHHH MY BABY ARGHHHGG

“poor unhappy creature” FUCK YOU I HATE THE MEN FUCK THR MEN FUCK YOU FUCK YOU SHE COULD HAVE BEEN SO HAPPY IF SHE HAD BEEN PROPERLY LOVED YOU FUCKERS YOU TERRIBKE MEN FUCK ALL OF YOU

i love foscas cousin 💕💕💕💕 he’s a good man 💕 AND I HATE THE FAKE COUNT FUCK YOU IDIOT

“loves not a constant demand, it’s a gift you bestow. love isn’t sudden surrender, it’s tender and slow, 👏it👏must👏grow👏”

“if my breast were big and full” MISS LUPONE PLEASE BE FUCKING FOR REAL, TAKE ONE GOOD LOOK DOWN YOUR SHIRT AND DARE TELL ME UR FLAT AGAIN

giorgio being torn between obcessive love, the kind where someone would kill theirselves for him and hidden love, the kind that is hushed and quiet, where you’re not someone’s first priority OHHHH IM ILL

FOSCA DIES????????????????????????

NO

NO

NO

NO

oh she’s not dead okay i though my girl was gone for a sec

“to die loved is to have lived” BANGER, AMAZING, SO CUNT, @anotherain UR TATTOING THIS SHIT ON MY FOREGHEAD

COUSIN DIES??????

the conductor sitting down like a diva and waving that piece of wood like his life depends on it, ate.

FOSCA DIED???????????????????????????????????????

NO FOSCA NO NO JO

I HATE THSI FUNERAL FUCKINGHEK FUCK ALL OF LIFE I HATE THIS MUSICAL SONDHEIM COUNT YOUR DAYS YOUR FUCKING MAN FOSCA LIVING WHEN SHE WANTED TO DIE BUT DYING WHEN SHE EANTED TO DIE HELL FUCK IM THROWING MYSELF OFF A BIUKDING

how’d yall reckon patti tastes like? she just be kissing everyone

“i’m someone to be loved, and that i learned from you” ANAHAGAHAHAHAGGAHAHAHAHAHA

i hate this musical, it made me feel too much, i’m deeply tortured by it already.

HA he’s bald, even when he is dying inside he looks funky

IT ENDS LIEK THAT????????????? SO SIMPLY))!???????? I LOVED IT

bowing to the audience as an act of gracefulness and respect, to show how the actor is thankful for true audiences presence in the way they can, and that is by putting themselves in a position of inferiority i live. there’s a gratefulness and humility in it. great. now i have a new obsession.

OH I HEAR HWO VOUVE AT THE END AWWWW SHES SO CUTEEEEEEEWEEEWWHAGAHAHHAJA bruh???? a whole ass interview right after a whole as show?!?!?! i woudeve been dead, theater really is a muscle huh

throwing her shoes down 😭😭😭

at any possible moment patti will mention her sicilian blood, she is so me, at any possible moment i’ll tell ppl i’m italian

[clemymimi]

This post attempts to dissect both michikatsus perspective on his looks, how his self-image is impacted by yoriichi as well as michikatsus feelings towards yoriichi during his childhood. It also serves to describe the roots of michikatsus inferiority complex and hatred for Yoriichi. And in the conclusion.. attempts to diagnose a mental illness based on the material from this text.

tw: manga spoilers!

Michikatsus perspective on his looks + how that played into the Infinity Castle arc

Objectively, michikatsu knows that he is very pretty but he certainly does not feel that way, because:

It was mentioned in the manga how much michikatsu hates yoriichis face, how much his voice and his smile makes him want to vomit and gives him headaches. That is not because he can't stand yoriichi. Michikatsu hates how yoriichi looks because yoriichi is his IDENTICAL twin and because yoriichi is how MICHIKATSU looks like. Yoriichi is a constant MIRROR IMAGE, his constant judgement. Yoriichi is a man with no flaws in michikatsus eyes, and he is everything michikatsu ever wanted to be (strong enough to be free) it is a constant reminder of his own failure, of his own inadequacy. Yoriichis face makes him want to vomit because michikatsu struggles with his self-image so severely that he projects his deep self-hate and feelings of inferiority towards yoriichi.

But.. that day... during the final battle.. when kokushibo sees his face in sanemis katana.. he notices that he doesn't look like yoriichi anymore.. that he has strayed so far from his judgement from the person he wanted to be, that he loses his entire will to fight. It is the day he finally accepts that yoriichi is a huge part of him, of his identity and that he has lost himself along the way.

Michikatsus hatred for yoriichi explained

Also about the way michikatsu "hates" yoriichi. I've stated before that michikatsus hatred stems from love, a love so strong that he simply does not quite know how to handle that it flows across all of his emotions.. this is still true. That michikatsu projects his own self-hatred and judgement onto yoriichi showcases that he doesn't hate yoriichi himself, that yoriichi is simply unfortunately caught in the cross-fire of michikatsus constant pain and trauma. Michikatsu hates what yoriichi stands for, never yoriichi as a person. He hates yoriichis smile because it's the way michikatsu smiles, he hates his face because that's his face. And yet even though he hates these things about yoriichi,seeing yoriichi sad kills him on the inside. Michikatsu loves him so deeply and intensely and he thinks himself so unworthy and useless that he thinks yoriichi could not care less about him, and that in return makes michikatsu NOT want to love yoriichi, but he can't and he hates himself even more for it and he projects that hate towards yoriichi.

I'm not a therapist but michikatsu should really talk about his feelings instead of just writing poetry about them. Maybe if he knew that yoriichi loved him he could slowly start to heal and to allow his own heart to shine..

Child Michikatsus relationship towards yoriichi explained

And about child michikatsus hatred for yoriichi... michikatsu was jealous because he himself worked SO hard on his swordsmanship and yoriichi just comes in and is instantly better and the worst thing is that yoriichi couldn't care less that he is talented. Child michikatsus heart literally broke that day because it just wasn't fair, and to him it felt like yoriichi had just rejected his entire craft, his entire life's work. Michikatsu has trained ALL OF HIS LIFE and yoriichi has the gall to tell him he doesn't care about swordsmanship, and would rather play kites. To michikatsu it felt like yoriichi knew exactly how much swordsmanship meant to him and he just did NOT care, that yoriichi didn't care about HIS wishes at all, that in yoriichis eyes, michikatsu could NEVER be good enough. This is most likely where michikatsus feelings of inadequacy are rooted. He was a traumatised but sweet and considerate child before that, and he still tried to be kind afterwards, but he felt so so very bitter and unloved by his twin brother at that point..

When yoriichi came to visit him at 3am in the night to tell him that their mother had passed and that yoriichi would leave for the temple, michikatsu was too shocked to react. When yoriichi then smiled and clutched the trashy flute in his hand and told him he would take it with him and thinks of this flute as if it was michikatsu, michikatsu is canonically disgusted.

This disgust stems from two sources

1) the flute was made unprofessionally and michikatsu is too perfectionistic for his own good. It looks like trash and he hates it for that.

2) yoriichi had completely disregarded michikatsus feelings (not that yoriichi had any clue what they were since michikatsu NEVER voices them out loud ffs) and has basically told him in so many words that he couldn't care less about him and now yoriichi has the gall to smile and pretend that the flute meant something to him.

he is mocking me. Why are you mocking me, yoriichi? Your smile is disgusting.

Later on, when michikatsu reads in their mothers diary that she has been suffering from pain in their left side and he puts two and two together and figures out that yoriichi had been supporting their mother all this time, he is filled with hatred because:

`yoriichi not only disregarded his entire life's work (his swordsmanship) he also mocked michikatsus capabilities to take care of his clan. Yoriichi had taken on the duty that should have been michikatsus and he had never bothered to inform michikatsu about it at all.. which in michikatsu language translates to: "you're not competent enough to become the heir, the family head. You're useless and I had to step up because you FAILED."

in that moment michikatsu wishes his brother to die. This moment is one of the roots of michikatsus inferiority complex, the root of his hatred for yoriichi because he is so hurt by the "indications" of yoriichis actions and they have completely ripped him open raw that he will carry yoriichis perceived apathy and mocking forever in his heart.`

Michikatsu is known to define his self worth, his identity in accords to his brother, and michikatsus own self-worth has always been fragile. So because yoriichi (allegedly 💀💀💀) thinks him worthless and useless, michikatsu thinks himself worthless and useless.

Michikatsus father as the root for Michikatsus trauma

About his fragile self-worth: that's all on their father. Their father is the primary reason why michikatsus thoughts spiralled so easily and why his self-esteem was so fragile to begin with. Michikatsu is VERY sensitive, he interpretes things that aren't present because he is very much stuck in his own mind. He only does that with yoriichi though, because yoriichi is the only person that he truly loves (in canon)

Michikatsu diagnosed

There are a lot of things afoot with michikatsu. Although he has a strong mind and self-discipline he is not immune to trauma and he had quite the turbulent childhood (their parents constantly fighting (which canonically upset both him and yoriichi)) the harsh training he had to endure, how easily he was discarded by his father as soon as yoriichi demonstrated his strength, their mother dying abruptly without warning (from michikatsus perspective), yoriichi leaving.. michikatsu having to grow up very early on an having two children at the age of seventeen already including the trauma that comes with serving as a samurai during the warring states period.. Michikatsu is bound to have collected quite the heavy baggage. And no. A person completely mentally healthy would not jump at the chance of joining muzan, the whole gig of Demon Slayer is that the demons are humans that suffered and decided to make others suffer for their suffering in return, ergo.. trauma for every single demon. Yes. Even douma.

I will make a bigger post about all of these in the near future so fear not should you find my claims odd, but here goes:

Michikatsu suffers from generalised anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder as well as cptsd

The cptsd and bpd are a direct result of his violent childhood

Hope you enjoyed!

[new-tella-us]

So my opinions of the boys’ dynamic, at the beginning of the game, with each other have changed, so their chart will reflect that. New ranks were added too!

Let’s go through each one.

Besties- Exactly how it sounds. They’re as close as can be. They’re not just siblings, they’re best friends.

Good Sib Vibes- They think highly of their sibling and deeply respect something about them but they aren’t best friends.

Friend- The default sibling status.

Ehh…- Something’s a little off. They still like the person’s company but there’s some issues. That or they don’t hang out much.

If we weren’t brothers, I’d avoid you- Yeah… something’s really wrong. Maybe some deep-seated resentment or just general anger in the relationship. They are being held together by blood and shared daddy issues.

Father Figure- Their actual father was shit so they partially relied on their brother for the life lessons and emotional support that their father failed to give them.

If an arrow is half, their opinion is split. If it’s a color with hints of another, they mainly have one opinion but hints of another.

And why are they like this?

James still has a habit of looking down on his brothers though, it’s not nearly as self centered as it once was. He does still see himself as better but now he also thinks that they could all be so much better if they tried harder. Especially Matthew. He also still projects his insecurities onto Sam but has a small soft spot for him. He now also slightly projects his insecurities onto Erik as well! Specifically about the flirting as he has a deadly fear of lust taking over him and his becoming as hedonistic and misogynistic as his father so, to see Erik lean into the flirting bothers him. The one that tends to escape his judgement is Damien as he holds Damien to a lower standard plus, it’s hard to judge someone that doesn’t do or say much. He pities Damien more than anything.

Erik’s still on that Anti-James propaganda thanks to mummy dearest but by the time he gets to the mansion, he’s having some doubts. They probably have the most distant relationship. Being raised by two of the most emotionally neglectful women didn’t help (plus their psycho dad of course). He still doesn’t like Sam’s vulgarity so they can butt heads occasionally. They just never seem to agree on anything. He still doesn’t respect Matthew but they’re on friendly terms. And Damien is favorite brother as always.

Sam never liked the lavish lifestyle and luxury so he has always been off put by all his brothers (other than Damien) that almost seem to indulge in it. This goes double for Erik. Those two actually used to be closer when Erik was more willing to roughhouse and be more authentic but as his personality seemed to get more proper and faked, they started butting heads. James is in an odd spot as while Sam sees him mostly as just an older brother, he does relate to James on a personal level from them being to two most brute-leaning of the boys. He also just looks up to James even if he doesn’t always follow his advice. Oddly enough, I think James was one of the only people to actively praise Sam for something other than his brute strength. (Other than his mother) Mainly his resourcefulness. Matthew is an odd love-hate, they’ve got game weeks but also have some problems stemming from being raised on the opposite sides of the strength/magic spectrum and essentially wanting what the other has. Damien is still the brother Sam respects the most and aims to protect.

Matthew has mixed feelings about James. When he was younger, if his mother was busy, his default was to go to James for help and guidance. James did fill a father role but he wasn’t always great at it. Even when James helped Matthew, there was always some off comment that just had to be sprinkled in. Eventually Matthew grew jealous of James being considered the gold standard and the perfect child in their father’s eyes. He knew that he shouldn’t have to looking to his actual father for praise but every child wants to feel loved by their parent. Generally speaking, Matthew both wanted to impress and surpass James. It’s a similar feeling with Erik but without the fatherly affection to cushion it. Erik is just… ehhh… Sam is again, the frenemies relationship. And Damien is the only brother Matthew doesn’t have any negative thoughts about. He is still the baby of the brothers. The most “resentment” Matthew has about Damien is about him being taller even though he’s younger.

Damien always saw James as the dad role, even if he wasn’t aware of it. After all, James did go out of his way to be kind to Damien. That is Dad, that is father. However, it’s still James so condescension did happen every once in a while which soured Damien’s opinion ever so slightly. Plus Damien was just afraid that one day, James would become just like their actual father and start hating him. Erik was more of a best friend. A person Damien felt comfortable telling his secrets to. He was also kinda father as well; one that Damien never feared would hate him but rather he feared that Erik would leave or die somehow. (Blame the death of his mom and the Golden Rebellion when Erik nearly did die for that one) Soo…. Abandonment issues amirite? Sam was the figure Damien looked up to physically speaking. He wanted to be as strong as Sam. And Matthew used to make a bunch of toys for Damien before they got the hint that the toys wouldn’t last, plus he was the brother Damien could talk about his dreams of going to the human world without feeling like he would be pitied.

[friendlyengie]

Heyo thought I’d drop some random tf2 hcs and stuff cause of ur post :D

- scout and Pyro get along really well and scout will draw for pyro. Scout likes them cause he seems to actually listen to scout talk

- Engineer is pretty oblivious when it comes to people having feelings for him and hes (kinda accidentally) decent at flirting tho

- Engineer is like a father figure to scout and it makes spy really jealous lol

- Demo is really good at karaoke

- Since spy is good at finding this out about people based on body language etc. he knows exactly who has crushes on who in the base and he thinks it’s SO OBVIOUS but it’s not to the rest of them and he’s really close to just screaming at everyone that they’re blind and to just kiss already. He’s just forced to watch all these pining idiots dance around each other and he hates it

- Heavy and Medic have a book club that is just the two of them

- Scout would be a good dad later in life if he had a kid

ohohhoho interesting. Cracks my knuckles.

-scout and pyro friendship truther until I DIE. I find the idea of scout going from being terrified of this weird “thing” to just being besties with Pyro kind of hilarious. I think they can both do art pretty well actually! I like to think they run around towns and do graffiti together.

-Nodding at this. I also think it helps that (to me) hes naturally very friendly and polite because of how he was raised and like half of the people on his team havent heard anything nice from another human being since they were actual children (if that.) Is he good at flirting or are your standards dangerously low? Is it both? Great question!

-Ive always seen engineer as more of a low-maintenance uncle figure to scout If That. They’re just kind of a pretty standard close older dude with a lot of life experience and younger dude with fuck all going on friendship to me. and tbh ive never. Really been able to get behind the idea of spy being “jealous” of any sort of relationship Scout has with other mercs. Whether it’s him being weirded out by father standins or judgemental of potential partners. I don’t think he doesn’t have a weird relationship with seeing scout bond with the other mercs but i feel like it’s just sort of. Idk. A little more of a unique issue for him.

-Accepted. Though i think “good” for him ranges from “genuinely good singing” to “loud, overconfident, and having a great time getting half of the lyrics wrong.”

-As much as I think it would be fun if spy was surprisingly emotionally dense, i cant deny his canonical skills in that sort of field. That’s like. His whole game. I think his approach to trying to help anyone with romance is “he wont unless youre prepared to basically just inflate his ego for the sake of a few tips.” A la expiration date.

-no doubt in my mind that heavy and medic dont agree with a single thing that the other gleams from reading books. Said with love. They will argue about meanings and subtext and the value of interpretation until it sounds like someone’s about to file for divorce and then end with “so same time next week ^_^?”

-I will be so honest with you. I do not know if i could ever see scout being a father, much less a good one NDGSKHJDKNJJ.

Actually . Hm. Thinking about it. I could. SEE it in a sense. I think he would have some good steps to go off of because of his Mom. Unsure of how good his ma’s parenting was but she at least was very caring toward her kids. He’d have that. But i think he’d have to be a lot more emotionally mature to be able to process how his own current issues with dads and fatherhood would healthily translate into being a dad himself. I could see him being really laid back and maybe a little too “im not just your parent, im your friend,” and any hypothetical kid he has would Not take his ass seriously. I think having to parent a teenager would kill him.

[youremyheaven]

Hello, I’ve got a question, if you don’t mind me asking. Are karmic relationships always challenging and end up with pain? Or can they be positive/good/less harsh (idk how to phrase it 😅) too? From what you’ve seen/know. Could you give an example of a karmic relationship, please? Like from when it started and how it evolved and then ended? Thank you in advance if you decide to respond 🫰 Have a good day!

Karmic relationships are by definition challenging in nature, yes. The other person is meant to teach you lessons. These need not necessarily be romantic. You can have karmic relationships with anybody (and not just a romantic partner). I feel like every relationship has its ups and downs so karmic relationships are no different, it's not like you're in agony the entire time lol, it's just that there's a heaviness to the bond and you know that who you are now is different from who you were before you met that person.

I've had some brutal karmic friendships. All of them had their pleasant moments but the karmic remnants were 🥲😤

I've also had karmic relationships and other karmic situations (?) I'm currently in my Saturn dasha so 🤧karma is just a big theme in my life lol

With my ex friend, we became friends very spontaneously and I kind of immediately got the ick from her and knew that we couldn't remain friends? She was insecure, jealous and very patronizing? Also very judgemental? I just hated her vibes from the get go

But we were karmically tied. No matter how hard I tried to cut her out, avoid her, ignore her, circumstances pushed us closer together and I had no choice but to try my best to be friends with her. It was a daily test of my tolerance and patience and I felt like I was walking on eggshells the entire time. She's the most toxic, vile, narcissistic person I have ever come across and she genuinely thrives off of other's misery. What they say about people who hate themselves hating others was so true in her case. I hated having to talk to her but I felt obligated to because she always acted like a kicked puppy if I ignored her for too long. She kept me isolated from everybody else and virtually put me in a position where I couldn't interact freely with others in her presence because she hated everybody and thought I was a "people pleaser" for wanting to talk to others lol (I probably did seem desperate for outside human contact 😭). She used every opportunity to insult me, drag me down, ruin my self esteem because she thought she was ugly and projected that on to me. One time I was looking into the mirror and feeling myself 😌and she said that "yk what's special about this mirror? it has a slimming effect and makes people look 10kgs lighter than they are" as if trying to imply that the only reason I looked good was because of the mirror??lol?? If boys checked me out, asked me out, complimented me, gave me attention etc she'd tell she felt bad for me because of how these boys thought I was "easy" and that it sucks how I'm perceived as a "slut" (random person: you're sooo pretty, my friend: such a shame that he thinks you're a whore 😔) she told me I did yoga because without it I'd be emotionally disturbed 🤧and I had to endure all this nonsense because I couldn't cut her out, I was stuck/trapped in a deeply abusive friendship. Finally, I decided I've had enough and I'll deal with the consequences of ending this friendship no matter how bad it gets and decided to end things. I think my karmic lesson was one in understanding that it's unwise to choose temporary comfort over long term suffering/harm. And that you have to be brave enough to walk into the unknown even when you feel like you have no idea what you're doing or how you'll survive. Don't continue to stay in toxic situations simply because that's all you've known. It can be hard to picture a different kind of future when all you've been exposed to is darkness and abuse but you have to have the strength to risk it, to believe that, even if you're alone, it's better than staying in a connection where you endure daily humiliation. Once I found that strength within myself and could walk away (we were friends for 3 years) everything around me started collapsing actually. Terrible things went down around me and it was the worst time in my life but it was like the air was being cleared for better things?? And life improved a lot after that. I couldn't fully be myself with her, I felt very restricted and the minute I left, it's like I could breathe again. The journey of this karmic relationship was a lesson in dependency and how it's genuinely better to be alone than it is to depend on someone awful. My friend had many good qualities and she genuinely took care of me in many ways but all of that came at a heavy price. I had to be willing to let go of the comfort and ease she provided me with and risk being on my own instead of wallowing in negativity and enduring disrespect. Everybody always says "you should just leave, you should just walk away" but if you've ever been in an abusive relationship, you know how hard it is and how it truly affects your psyche and worldview and the kind of strength it requires to walk away.

Obviously not all karmic relationships are going to be like this. And the lessons of each bond will be different but by and large, karmic relationships are connections that are inevitable. You were just sort of bound to each other, and even if you tried to walk away or leave, you end up going back because you have to reach a certain kind of growth to be able to evolve out of these karmic connections. Karmic connections are not supposed to last a lifetime (some do though because the karma is heavy, a lot of parent-child relationships and familial relationships are like this). They are meant to teach you things the hard way essentially.

[dontjudgemeimawriter]

Find the Word Tag

@oh-no-another-idea three times (Once was a manuscript tag and I have never really differentiated. Is one supposed to be all the same letter?). Glad there's 3 to work off because very few of these showed up.

flag

kite

banner

lantern (from flufftober scene)

The view from outside hardly captured what it was like within. Dark curtains blocked out most of the light, and candles and lanterns littered the space— candles on zigzag shelves along the walls, lining the upper parts of booths, lanterns on the ground creating a path. The area was warmly lit, and though there was still electrical lighting from the ceiling, the entire place seemed to disappear in the contrast. When we sat down, the table and chairs were lit enough, but when I turned to look around, the glow of the candles made the space get lost amongst stars.

Candle

“If you’re tricking me, know this: I will find out. And I will not hesitate.” On “hesitate” he lets his hand erupt into flames again. This time it’s not practical, he’s intimidating me. The flames travel in a line up his fingers, flickering off his fingertips like candles. But they weren’t coming for me. It made me tense, but not much more. I nodded. He handed me the pen. I grabbed a paper towel to write on.

flour

flower

I checked my watch. Just about 6. [Raymond's] face dropped a bit when I looked back at him, but all he said was, “It’s pretty here, isn’t it?” I nodded— it was, the garden was full of flowers more in bloom than I’d expect for the season, with a stone path winding between them. “How’re you affording this?” I asked, and I didn’t mean for it to be judgemental but maybe I can’t help myself. “Don’t worry about it,” he dismissed me, then gestured to follow him to the walkway and then up the stairs to the second floor, producing a key from his pocket to unlock it and lead me into the room.

for

But now, I was thinking about my mother’s words. That this is what she had wanted for me. And even how my father wanted this for her. For so long, it had been out of reach because I’d always believed this was where I was supposed to be. It was Raymond and Mika who’d unfairly been pulled into this world, and even if I was trying to be better, this was where I belonged. But now… maybe it wasn’t. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be here, maybe I got to hope for a future away. What did freedom even mean? The only reference I had for it was the few moments the past few days… unfocused, and with him. Us on the bridge, us getting ice cream, us at the cafe, us spending time together, us at the cafe today and under the awning.

forget

[Mika] saw me staring and sighed. “You know. Come on. Zachary was obsessed with him— he’s go good at Nyp stuff, so likable, so good at school and making friends and getting people to like him. You hated the attention he got, I know you did, but there you are, risking your life for him. And even now, does Alexander even think to make use of my talents? No, but he’ll set up elaborate schemes to get Raymond’s.” I must’ve given her some judgmental look, because she waved me away. “I shouldn’t’ve said anything. I’m not jealous, it’s put him in so much danger and attracted so much bad attention. And if he wasn’t like that, he wouldn’t be alive.” She shook her head. “Forget I said that. It was stupid.”

sit

Despite the discomforts, I could feel I’d been sleeping deeper and better than I had in a long time. I wanted to drift off again, return to it. I might not get another chance. But my watch still dug into me and the blanket was still too light, so despite it waking me more, I moved to take my watch and belt off and lay them on the bed stand next to me. I caught a glimpse of the clock sitting on the nightstand and by squinting a bit I could tell it was somewhere near the 4AM hour. I turned back over and saw Raymond next to me, under the covers. His eyes were closed and I could hear him breathing deeply.

save

Raymond was the noble one, not me. I’d always known that. Trying to do things his way, rescuing, had gotten be here. I wasn’t sure if I was right or not about Raymond, but he would do what he thought was right. I couldn’t be the reason he made that choice, he couldn’t be the one in that position. I looked up, met the Judge’s eyes. I didn’t do the noble thing. I made sure we survived. “I didn’t save him for him. I faked his death because I didn’t want to always do what Zachary told me. I will gladly help you deal with the Zachary problem, he vastly overestimates my loyalty to him. And he knows nothing of this. I’m one of the best assassins you’ve got. Both me and Raymond will answer to you.”

salt

Was he upset with me? I was so used to the opposite— me scolding him to stay hidden, him assuring me he was being careful. I was used to Mika’s anger, but on him it felt so foreign. Mika’s never bothered me, but Raymond being upset with me? Had he really needed scolding there anyway? I stared at the papers in front of me, not to look at them but just to look anywhere else. After a moment of him glowering at the saltshaker, I said, aloud, “It’s a good thing you did, though,” I admitted, and then that got him to at least look at me. 

sun

It was still early afternoon, people milling about shops and the sun bright. No one paid too much attention to us, but I checked anyway, taking in the faces around us as I led the way, checking back every few seconds to make sure Mika and Raymond were following me. They didn’t seem to care who saw them, so it was a good thing I was, even if Raymond should know better.

scarred

I pressed my thumb against my palm. It had scarred, leaving a white circle for a while, but it, like others, had since disappeared. When Raymond had come into my life it was nothing more than a pale discoloration. As far as I knew, he had no idea it happened. That had been early in my training, and by the time Raymond showed up I’d fully graduated to solo missions. 

Tagging: @puzzleddragon02 @athenswrites @papercutsunset @jessica-writes22 and anyone else who wants to with the words: Curtain, Key, Judgemental, Noble, Solo

[goldenworldsabound]

Pre relationship

2,4 & 6

General

2, 3 & 8

Love

4, 5 & 8

Domestic life

4, 7 & 8??

Thanks Rattie!!! I will decide whomst for each question owo

Pre relationship:

What was their first impression of each other?

💸Francis - Francis was quite impressed by me when he took over the company. He also thought I'd make a fun fling and was determined to follow that through. Then he realize it was much more than that! As for me, I thought he was irritating as hell and hated that he was handsome- fdkjahf tsun tsun Aura-

omg tsun sounds like tsum I COULD MAKE PLUSHIES OF MY SIs IF I GET GOOD- anyway-

Who felt romantic feelings first?

💸Francis - meeeeee it was me fjkdshakjfds

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

💸Aura might have actually punched you in the face- KJFHEWKJFHEKJW they would have been PISSED AS HELL that you said that and denied it up and down. Francis wouldn't be so violent but he would dismiss it - he really did just initially see this as a fling until it developed

(the rest under the cut)

General:

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

🥼Rufus - yes! I have a fic- but to summarize, Rufus invited me out to dinner out of nowhere (MR PRESIDENT SIR?? I AM JUST NO ONE WHAT-), sent a Turk along with me to help me get ready with fancy dress and makeup and such, and then we went to dinner and it was lovely. We spent the whole evening chatting~

What was their first kiss like?

🍷Clayman - waaaa um /// right after we confessed to each other. It was a bit awkward cause we were shy but it was sweet and chaste and cute ///

Who gets jealous easier?

🍷Clayman gets more jealous

💸Aura gets more jealous than Fitzy

🥼Rufus gets more jealous

LOVE:

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

🍷Clayman - all the time so long as we're in Jhistav/Clayman's castle. Even when we were still keeping it a secret fkjdsahfkjdsa it was pretty obvious. We become fairly shameless after that though nothing behind chaste kisses and sitting across his lap, mostly.

Who initiates kisses?

💸Francis - definitely Francis. Aura is very tsundere and shy so most of the time it's Francis. THOUGH! Aura will initiate sometimes either by like softly tugging on his sleeve or sometimes getting fed up with teasing and just planting a kiss on his face~

Who’s better at comforting the other?

🥼I don't know how to quantify this! I think we're both pretty good at it. I have fewer opportunities as compared to Rufus though because he's so used to keeping everything inside- so it's harder for me because he doesn't let me notice. That being said, just having someone who listens to him non-judgementally and that he can just is huge for him. And as for him with me, he prioritizes me when I'm upset above just about anything else so 🥺and he can make upsetting things go away with a snap of his fingers in many cases.

Domestic Life

Do they have any pets?

🥼Rufus - Darkstar! :D Darkstar is a big doggo. Doggo and Aura get along great, but she's Rufus' childhood pet!

she looks scary but actually she's baby when it comes to us uwu she will maul you though if you threaten either Rufus or I. But at home? Just a big doggo full of love :D

Who kills the bugs in the house?

🍷Clayman - This is a funny question because here's a picture of Clayman kicking a giant bug in half

not that these are normal bugs- fdkjahfa (also the big boss bug had an egg and my suspicion is Clayman is going to raise it rather than kill it - I am eagerly awaiting chapters).

the real answer may surprise you - it's Ava, the maid- KJFEHWFKHEWK

How do they celebrate holidays?

💸Fitzy - in fancy fashion!!! and with much excitement- fkjdhfa we have three categories of holidays we tend to celebrate. US holidays, Japan holidays, and Jewish holidays! Fitzy isn't Jewish, but he's rather familiar with customs and is happy to celebrate with me. He gets very excited about US holidays while we're in Japan, going especially wild on 4th of July (NO HE DOES NOT DO ILLEGAL FIREWORKS, I WON'T ALLOW IT FKJEWHFKJEW) and more chill for Japanese holidays. Usually he only deals with those when Aura suggests festivals as dates anyway, tbh.

[thisisanude]

AHHHHHHH

i hate feeling jealousy its truly so embarrassing and never happens to me like really rly at all but i am jealous of her bf its crazy its fucked up i feel like a bad person for feeling that way especially bc hes so nice and means so well and deserves the best but im so soosooossoooo AHHHHHA HAHHHHHH like why does he get to live with her and hangout all the time and shower with her and touch her im fucked im soooo fuckedim cooked i am literally socooked. the way that i have a bf too that i love doing all those things with. like i actually genuinely do love hanging out with my bf and showering and touching and i would prob like living with him. but i wish i could live with her again so bad. so its like actually so fucked up its beyond fucked.its just not right. why cant i have both. i hate that monogamy is so normalized bc i literally would love to be polyamorous but i rly dont want the judgement that comes from that or even to ever bring that upto my bf ever EVER cuz i real dont think hed be down. i jsut. i would be happier having a bf and gf both. and she can have a gf and bf. AHHHHHH why cant our bfs just be like accessories that live with us and take care of us and hangout but are also ok with us hanging out more. THIS IS FUCKED THISI IS SO FUCKED UP OF ME TO THINK!!!! i am a bad person. i cannot believe the thoughts i have frequently i wonder if theyll pass. i got a bracelet that says on the inside of it its whats on the inside that counts. i feel like most of the time i consider myself a good person with good intentions but lately ive been having an identity crisis because of this. i can never ever EVER tell my bf how i truly feel. i cant tell her either, or any of my other best friends. its really upsetting to just have to live like this. yet part of me never wants it to end its so bittersweet because it feels so good to hang out and do things that are like REAL CONFUSING but then there are so many bad things that come with that its like AHHHHFuck !!!!! but i feel so guilty because its like wow iwant todo all these things with her but i dont want to break up with my bf and i dont know what it would even be like dating each other bc that would just be too weird weve been friends for too long. why cant we just be extra special best friends that fuck a lot and live together but like still do all the things with our bfs that we normally would. like were neighbors with them. and they come over a lot and hang out. i wish i wish i wish i wish i could just get what i wanted. im so pathetic lololoolollol i dont think she is thinking that much about this if at all. i wish i could read her mind. i wish i could read her sisters mind. i wish i knew what they talked about if anything at all. something tells me her sister knows something that i dont but would love to. PLEASEEEEE AHHHhaudskjxck i need to be grateful for allthat i have i am so grateful for it all. i am i really am i promise. grass is always greener i guess. or maybe im going through a really gay phase. i wonder how my life wouldve gone if i had came out to my family when i was 16. i really wonder what i would be doing right now. i .... think things would definitely be different but im not sure how different.

[celestechaton]

Dear Brittany Rybolt.

You used to be my best friend. The person I looked up to, confided in, trusted in, loved but that was naive of me to think you felt the same. I should’ve known from the start with how you treated everyone around you that I would be no different bc it was a YOU problem. You hated yourself, didn’t care about yourself, and you actually went out of your way to hurt yourself. A “hopeless romantic” in your own eyes, but in the real world you’re just codependent in all of your relationships. The reason things turned out the way they did was bc even though you looked at me like a monster when I said it(which happened a LOT - you know for a “best friend” you were SUPER judgemental.)but damn did you act on how replaceable people are. All I wanted was for you to see me as much of a friend as I saw you but instead you replaced me any chance you got bc “oooh shiny toy!” With highschool set aside let’s talk about how our adulthood went. You got in a serious of 3 relationships and each one told me you talked MAD shit about me, how I am, who I am, and why I am. Do you think your relationships liked you that much if they just came back and told me? And then continued to talk about how wrong, bitter, and jealous you are of me? Ya know I never even though that in a million years you’d see me like that bc to me you were golden. But that’s ok.

You ACTUALLY accused me of trying to seduce your disgusting serial cheater, rapist boyfriend (ozzy) and then got mad when I told you how he was lying bc how dare your “perfect” boyfriend lie to you(which he had been doing since day one you dumb bitch). Let’s not forget your stints with racism while with said rapist. (Pictures included)

When you and mike broke up right before you got with the rapist he told me EVERYTHING you said about me and how jealous you were and how pathetic it was. And guess what! He said I was actually a damn good friend to you and that you were dumb for always going to relationship instead of your friends. And he told me all of that without getting into my pants bc unlike what you think, people enjoy my company without having to throw my pussy at them like you.

Now let’s talk about your perfect “husband” in that pathetic excuse of a marriage you’re in. You know, the liar, cheater, thief, rapist, child molester, and groomer? Wow you sure do know how to pick them. Did you know that his ex wife is actually doing really well while there were 2 oDs in your home with a 4 year old present? Do you know the shit he would say to me when you weren’t around? About how much he wish he could duck me and that he HAD to leave the house as to not be tempted by me just fucking EXISTING. Getting all of this from an almost 50 year old while being pumped drugs is NOT how I thought I would spend my early 20s. He would tell me about how JEALOUS you were and how insecure I made you. You hated me. And for what?? In the end once again you chose your “catch” of a husband and awful highschool friends which you hate and they hate you over an adult friendship with me. But it’s ok we’re adults and can choose. I just hope you now realize that you were the problem. Not me.

To end this I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for showing what friends are NOT supposed to act like. You were every single red flag and I willingly blinded myself every time. Thank you for leaving my life. I’m so glad my daughter doesn’t know you.

(For the insta caption on 11/13/19) YOUR dog killed 2 of my cats, 2 of your cats & both of your rabbits. Your husband said to me “I just don’t want you blaming this on us” how am I not if you chose to keep said dog and keep neglecting it and keeping it locked in a cage after it killed your two rabbits. All the things I said to you “out of anger” were the complete and absolute truth. You’re a junkie, Uour pathetic, and codependent.your side of the story is “wahh I work so much and my husband sits at home stealing from me and doing fruta, there’s no food in the house bc he eats it all. And we spend all of our money on drugs but gonna blame Astrid when I’m short on rent bc drugs are more important “ cmon now.

Also just bc you date a poc (Spanish) doesn’t mean you get a pass you redneck racist bitch. Yiu called your cousins mixed baby a monkey like ??????????? Tf how about telling me that I’m pretty …..for a Hispanic girl even though you stayed awake WISHING you were Spanish/Latina/etc. girl don’t come @ me I still have a lot of shit.

[damageinkorporated]

HELL YEAH ANOTHER TAG!!!!!

Okay this one is really exciting cause it's probably the most info there'll be on my OCs (or, James specifically) mostly because I'm a disorganized, forgetful mess but I don't care - thinking is thinking!

Anyway, like it or not, here's some info on everybody's beloved James!

Five things that make you happy

'Oh that's easy. Good food, making Pat mad, making Pat laugh, good music, and Vicky.'

If you could save just one person, who would it be?

That's a bad, bad question. Myself so that I could save others, Pat because she's Pat, and Vicky because she's Vicky, and Misha because he's a cute little idiot.

Tell us one of your funniest jokes

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? A gun.

'I don't know man, I usually steal from Pat and she's not here, go figure.'

Where would you like to visit?

Well, it seems that everywhere was so nice before...I bet Yellowstone is still breathtaking, but honestly I'd like to see new places if it were safe.

When do you usually go to sleep?

Sleep early, rise early. That's how you get ahead.

Are you a jealous person?

Jealous of what? Vicky? I mean, I could be, but that would be annoying, so no.

Have you committed a crime?

I don't see any courts or cops around here. I did no violence on Haggler territory, sure, but by the old world's standards, OH BOY.

Do you have a chore you usually hate?

Keeping Pat and Vicky calm every now and then. They seem to be getting along well, but every now and then there is an attempted murder. Shit happens? Now that I'm talking about it, maybe I should look around for some chains...

Tell me an embarrassing childhood story

Ohhh, hahaha, so you see, my dad would play a lot of solo artists when I was little, but I ended up taking the names too literally. Guess how much I cried when I heard of a band called 'The Dismemberment Plan'. Don't tell Pat.

Are you a good person?

I'm a person. I try to do what I think is good as much as I can. I leave the judgement to others, not that I care a whole lot.

What’s the worst thing you’ve done? Do you regret it?

Hmm...leaving Pat and Vicky. Oh and two things about Jess: Following her so blindly and letting her live.

What’s the quickest way to make you laugh?

I laugh easily (chuckles) see? Just a witty comment or funny circumstance is good enough.

What is your favorite song right now?

Blood Pressure by Mutemath. Next question.

Do you sometimes wish to be someone else?

What? No? I'm together with some of the awesomest people I know, going on awesome adventures and having a lot of fun. I mean, sure there are times when I wish I didn't have to deal with really annoying things, but overall, I'm all good.

Do you push forward or take time to rest?

Rest is good, rest is important, that's why I'm an idiot and have a tendency to push forward.

What is your favorite drink?

Oh one of those things where they used to like, uhh, shit I forget what it is. I had a taste of it once and it was amazing. I think it was some sort of coffee? Or maybe some juice. I just tried explaining it to Pat and Misha and got insulted in two different languages if that makes you feel better.

If you had to pick a single item of clothing or an accessory to wear for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Good shoes. Like, the boots I got on right now - the rest is good, sure, but being able to walk and run freely is number one. Though if it counts, my sword instead. That would be funny, fighting naked with just a sword.

If you were forced to forget a single memory, what would it be?

Why of course that one time I just forgot what I was saying when talking to Vicky. That was rather embarrassing for me. Pretty sure she got a good laugh out of it though, so maybe not that.

What is a positive thing your worst enemy would say about you?

If they aren't complimenting my fighting I'm either dead or they're mute. I take pride in my swordfighting.

Hopefully these answers have his personality reflecting vividly enough, cause I just love him! Anyway, I guess I should focus on Pat and Vicky too (no, not writing the actual story, don't be ridiculous) cause those two are also funny as hell.

Thanks for the tag again!!

Mega OC Questionaire!!!!!!!

Time to get to know Artemys Raine, I guess!

(psst this is her story)

Five things that make you happy

“Hmmm... there are several things that make me happy, but Magnus usually tells me that 'eight year olds shouldn't have that big of a knife collection'. I like tricking people, and I like the song that Alec always hums to himself when he makes coffee in the morning. I like feeding the pigeons on the windowsill in the morning, when New York is... well, slightly quieter than normal, and when it's foggy in Central Park and I can dance with the Fae."

If you could save just one person, who would it be?

“Myself. Always."

Tell us one of your funniest jokes

“I don't joke much really... Magnus says my humour is more suited to an eighty year old than an eight, but then again he's the one with all the t-shirt puns."

Where would you like to visit?

“I really want to go to Peru..."

When do you usually go to sleep?

“According to Alec, eight pm every night. Magnus is a pushover and lets me stay up to midnight."

Are you a jealous person?

“Jealous of what? Power? I have more than enough myself, although I'm always happy to collect more."

Have you committed a crime?

“Are you a cop?"

Do you have a chore you usually hate?

“Having to baby-sit grown-ass adult Shadowhunters who keep almost dying."

Tell me an embarrassing childhood story

“I was born. That was pretty embarrassing."

Are you a good person?

“Ehhhh...."

What’s the worst thing you’ve done? Do you regret it?

“I briefly locked Jace in a room with a squirrel, I have no regrets. (Magnus is reading this over my shoulder and says I should add all the murder I've done, but I think the duck was worse, honestly)

What’s the quickest way to make you laugh?

“Probably tickling me, but that's also the quickest way to get a knife in the gut."

What is your favorite song right now?

“Magnus keeps playing ABBA, and I like Fernando the best, although he always dances with me during 'Does Your Mother Know' which is fun."

Do you sometimes wish to be someone else?

“Sometimes."

Do you push forward or take time to rest?

“Time to rest is time to get stabbed in the back, if you need to heal, do it while planning."

What is your favorite drink?

“Coffee. As strong as I can get away with before Alec notices."

If you had to pick a single item of clothing or an accessory to wear for the rest of your life, what would it be?

“My backpack. It has everything I need in it, and most of what I own."

If you were forced to forget a single memory, what would it be?

“I assume this is meant to be some sort of deep, sentimental question, but I'd simply forget the memory of whatever I'd dreamt about last night."

What is a positive thing your worst enemy would say about you?

“One of them told me that I was quite tenacious just after he stabbed me. I would be more proud if it hadn't come from Valentine."

she's so sassy, i love her (yes, magnus is working on the therapy thing. no shes not convinced yet.)

adding my tag list (+/- lemme know) and an open tag!!!

@hyperfixation-tangentopia @pippinoftheshire @cherrybombfangirlwrites

@once-and-future-fandoms @glasshouses-and-stones @deanscherrypie420

@agirlandherquill @lillybaaaka @late-to-the-fandom @toodumbforusernames

@damageinkorporated @aquadestinyswriting @druidx

@iIlovevewritingfanfic @supercimi @creative-author

@27paperlilies @avocado-frog @abigailmartinwriting

[crazychaoticizzy]

Cara Mia

Oh, you hate that man, you hate that man.

But, oh, cara mia . . . how you love him . . .

EREN X READER

CONTENT: toxic!Eren, angst, mentions of cheating, mentions of emotional manipulation, mentions of emotional abuse, mentions of miscommunication, mentions of smut but nothing explicit, toxic relationship, Eren is manipulative. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, please proceed with caution

WORD COUNT: 486

masterlist

AOT masterlist

Oh, how you hate him. How you despise every fiber of his being from the bottom of your soul.

You should have listened to your friends—to total strangers—when they warned you to stay away. Warned you that the only thing you would get out of this was a broken heart, a wounded soul.

But you didn’t. Instead, he managed to convince you to cut all your friends out of your life, to make new friends with only his group. You did, you deleted your friends contacts from your phone and stopped talking to them. You kept them in a locked note in your notes app, though, just in case.

You knew it wasn’t a good relationship, knew that Eren was toxic.

Eren Jäger, who never communicated his feelings.

Eren Jäger, who always dragged you home and fucked the living daylights out of you for no apparent reason when he got jealous. He never even told you why, he just kept his feelings inside.

Eren Jäger, who you learned early in your relationship was an asshole.

Eren Jäger, who you found out was an emotionally manipulative bitch after some stranger approached you after overhearing a conversation the two of you had to make sure you were okay.

Eren Jäger, who you had caught multiple times cheating on you, a different girl every time.

Eren Jäger, who you loathed with every atom of your body.

But, oh, cara mia . . . how you loved him . . .

How you loved him and the way he would apologize after you caught him. The way he would pepper light kisses across your neck and shoulders.

How you loved him and the flowers he would buy you. It didn’t matter how late it was, you would always receive flowers as soon after he got caught as he could manage.

How you loved him and the burning sensation he would leave after running his hands up and down your arms to comfort you.

How you loved him and the words he said, promising he would change himself for you, promising he would be better for you.

How you loved him and the way he would lead you to the bathroom, gently coaxing you to strip so he could shower with you.

How you loved him and the way his hands felt in your hair as he washed it, the way his hands felt all over your body.

You hated it. Hated that despite everything you couldn’t bring yourself to stop loving him. He was your weakness, your kryptonite. Despite knowing that everything about this was bad for you, you couldn’t bring yourself to walk away from him.

And that’s why you never called any of your old friends again. That’s why you never left, because goddammit you loved him. Against your better judgement you loved him with all your heart.

And oh, cara mia, how you would keep loving him despite all of that.

This is a little late but anyways-

Happy Birthday Eren!

As I said it’s a day or so late but that’s okay 💀

Anyways this was inspired by that one sound. You know the one. Yes, that one. I personally love that sound so I wrote this.

Anyways I hope y’all enjoyed <3

[new-tella-us]

The Mothers Part 1

Alright! The way this post will work is, I’ll go over each mom and discuss a brief “before the Demon Lord” section, what happened to get them into the bastard’s harem, what they did when they had their son and how that affected their kid. Then I’ll mention some extra people they either liked or hated. I am doing this two at a time as usual.

Starting with-

Istorae The Overthrown Queen

Istorae, as a young woman, was known to be a hopeless romantic and an impossibly talented woman. She was her kingdom’s prettiest gem. She, of course, had her faults. She could be ridiculously devoted, jealous and thought herself better than most by default. Eventually, she would meet an interesting young man. A brute whose name she’d never learn. Despite seeing herself as greater, she couldn’t help but be interested in this man. The brute wasn’t the prime of his kind, but he had ambitions that most didn’t have. His ambitions and dedication to them made him admirable to her. And slowly, she started to fall in love with him. 

To prove that he deserved her hand in marriage, Istorae’s parents sent this brute off into a war for a neighboring kingdom’s land, despite her protests. If he lived, their army won, and he could bring back proof that he personally defeated the current monarch, he would earn Istorae’s hand. And despite getting captured, the brute succeeded. The war was won, the kingdom was defeated, and the mad monarch’s head was brought back as proof. The brute became the new queen’s consort, only to then stab his wife in the back. He dethroned Istorae, killed her parents and proceeded to amass a harem, truly becoming the Demon Lord. This broke Istorae and the once lively and bubbly queen became solemn and hateful.  

When Raestrao was born, three wives and a secret harem girl were already amassed. Istorae couldn’t show much love towards her son. Her heart was already corroded over. She only focused on training and education. 

Istorae and Raestrao grew a distant, cold and formal relationship. She was more of another commander than she was a mother, facilitating the importance of perfection. In her eyes, she should never have given anyone “lower” a chance, so she raised Raestrao to be perfect and never give anyone less than perfection any leeway. They deserved judgement of the highest degree.  

She also would partake in teaching Raestrao to master magic both from their species and general magic from books. She expected nothing less than excellence from her son in the hopes that he would, one day, overpower his father and take the throne. 

The consequence was that Raestrao grew up with little to no warmth in his life. He was only seen as “good enough” by either parent if he obtained perfection. He grew up judgmental, terrified of failure, and replacing genuine warmth and care with politeness and formality. Luckily for him, his brothers showed him the love his parents never did so he had some reference of care. Who knows how cold Raestrao would have become if he didn’t have his brothers? 

When Raestrao disappeared without a trace, it felt like Istorae’s heart was broken all over again. And while she was distraught about losing her heir and claim to her throne, she also was torn apart about losing her only child. In James’s Demon War Route, she would make her decision to sacrifice her own life to create a Stone Destiny. If there was even a chance that her son was alive and able to take the throne, she would force it to happen. She wished for him to be the next Demon Lord... 

Be careful what you wish for. 

As for extra people Istorae liked or hated.  

Istorae has one servant that she genuinely sees as a friend. She still has her guard up around the servant, but she can hold a very pleasant conversation with them. 

Istorae does enjoy Raestro’s company. She sometimes can be uncomfortable with how similar he looks to the Demon Lord but, she does genuinely love her son, no matter how little she shows it. 

She flat out hates the “harem girl” the Demon Lord has. Remember, she has a major jealousy issue (most succubi do) so the implication that the husband she once loved and still holds some remanence of love for loving another woman hurt. Similarly, she despises Izroul. She‘s never done anything to the boy, but she can’t stand to even be in the same room as him. It doesn’t help that Izroul also looks a whole lot like the Demon Lord. 

She isn’t on speaking terms with Aezera. The first and last wives envy each other’s positions. 

Next is

Kalipo The Siren of the Scalloped Seas. 

Kalipo has always been diplomatic. It’s how she was raised, it’s who she is. She always believed that anything could be solved with a talk. Now, this doesn’t mean she was lenient. She believed in punishing the insolent and foolish and tight rules so specific that you would be pressed to weasel your way out of them. She believed in the “devil of the details” basically. However, she saw that and negotiation as a way to prevent danger and aggression rather than as a response to it. 

When the Demon Lord wanted control of the sea, he would take to using the very strategy of the mad monarch he once opposed. He would storm Kalipo’s underwater kingdom without warning or mercy. He had his greatest mages use “Spells of the Fins” on mass to make his land army almost as effective underwater as they were on land. The sheer numbers and foreign diseases brought to Kalipo’s kingdom wiped out her numbers quickly. Even her parents fell. Kalipo attempted to offer peace, negotiation and deals as she always did but the Demon Lord didn’t care about that. He would only accept pure domination or total annihilation. Kalipo was forced to agree to the former. 

When Uzaeris was born, the fourth and final wife was being... “obtained”. The kingdom was tense and the birth of a second heir that was both not Istorae’s and part animal demon didn’t help. Kalipo saw the uptake in violence in the streets of the kingdom she was now a part of and couldn’t help but be saddened and disgusted by it. The kingdom was tainted with blood that Kalipo was determined to correct. She would raise her son strictly on diplomacy. From mediation, to manipulation, to flirtatious advances to debate, every type of verbal communication would be mastered by Uzaeris whether he liked it or not. 

Kalipo and Uzaeris gained a mentor/student relationship. It was warmer than Istorae and Raestro’s but that isn’t saying much. Uzaeris was still more a student/heir than he was her son.  

In the beginning, Uzaeris was not compliant. He wanted to do other things with his time and wished to get into his own hobbies. He even gained a small violent streak in his childhood. This was unacceptable, Kalipo had to change that. She had to change him. So, she used her own, far superior, manipulative behavior to force a bond between Uzaeris and the newest ‘member’ of the family, Izroul. She, with her infinite patience, would slowly craft scenarios where Uzaeris would see Izroul at his lowest, hungriest and most pathetic moments; slowly, she forged a bond between them and used that as her manipulation. And it worked. Uzaeris gained the motivation to try his hardest to learn politics, diplomacy and the art of manipulation to become the next Demon Lord. He even learnt magic and basic fighting skills to defend himself if needed. 

The consequence was that Uzaeris had no identity outside of his flirtatious persona. His free time was spent either wooing any poor soul that would fall for it or with his brothers, the only time he felt like he could be someone else. He was the perfect manipulator but nothing else. Uzaeris would also become extremely protective of Izroul and distrusting of Raestro. His mother poisoned his mind about his elder brother that persisted even into the human world. He was convinced that if Raestro stayed under their father’s thumb, he would become as bad. Though as he got to know Raestro during their stay in the human world, he would realize that Raestro wasn’t anything like his mother told him. 

When Uzaeris left, Kalipo already knew. She was the only one to witness it. No one, not even the boys, knew that she saw them leave. Why did she let them go? Because she realized there was no point. They had their out and Izroul, her only leverage against Uzaeris, had freedom shown to him. If she took that away, Uzaeris would not only hate her and be aware that she was only manipulating him but would also be set on finding an alternative to escaping with his brothers. She was smart enough to know when she lost. Of course, she was hurt by his instant willingness to abandon her, but his mentality was a monster of her making. She made him care more about his brothers than her. And she knew that. 

In Erik’s Demon War Route, Kalipo is nowhere to be found. She was the first wife to escape as soon as had the chance. Her current whereabouts are unknown.  

She didn't particularly like or dislike many people. Except her son. But even then, there wasn't much "family love", it was more "I tolerate you more than I tolerate most people." She doesn't even really hate Damien's mom all that much. She can be jealous but there wasn't someone to be jealous for.

She does despise her husband for all the bloodshed he caused. They had the most "distant" marriage of all the wives. TL:DR- Istorae's raising mentality- "Be perfect. Anything less is trash. Also don't be anything like my scum of a husband, you already look too much like him."

Kalipo's raising mentality- "You see this sad, pathetic, wet dog of a bastard child? Feel bad for him and take over the throne so that you can help him. 'What about Raestro?' What about him? He's probably evil."

[bqluvr]

Jealousy

Warnings: smut!

Summary: You never got along well with Brian Quinn, despite having known the Impractical Jokers for years. But when he shows his jealous side, it sparks something in you that you didn’t know was there.

Words: 5.2k

A/N: hi everyone! this is my first brian quinn fic and my first post on tumblr, so please give me criticism! i apologize in advance if there are any mistakes. enjoy!

—————

Loud, booming laughter rang in your ears as the four men around you drank and joked with each other comfortably. The Impractical Jokers, the name everyone knew them by, were your close friends. You, Joe, Murr, and Sal got along fantastically. You loved them to death and there quite honestly was nothing you wouldn’t do for them.

Brian Quinn, on the other hand, was a different story. He was always very closed off and kept to himself, almost to a fault. That wasn’t to say he didn’t enjoy chipping in and making fun of the others or cracking a crude joke; he found immense pleasure in doing that. But in regards to his personal life, he was reserved.

That fact made it incredibly difficult to form and maintain a proper connection with the man, but you were okay with that. You had the other jokers and they loved you. Over the many years you had been friends with the four of them, you had given up trying to get close with Brian Quinn. Even just saying his full name felt weird to you.

Sometimes it felt like he hated you. You were sure that wasn’t the case, he was just a shy person, but at times his quiet observations felt more like he was piercing you with judgemental eyes. It made you a bit insecure, but you pushed through it and simply tried to limit your interactions with him.

“I’m covering drinks, anyone want anything?” Sal huffed as he slid out of the booth. He had been seated next to Q on the side opposite of you, where you were sandwiched between Joe and Murr.

“I’ll take another beer,” Q raised his beer bottle slightly towards Sal, who smiled slightly to affirm that he heard him. Sal’s eyes moved over to the side you were on, waiting for the three of you.

“Same for me,” Murr chirped all too happily. You elbowed him and he grinned widely. The drunker he got, the more work it would be to keep him from embarrassing himself. And by the looks of it, with this being his fourth beer in the past hour and a half, you expected him to either get painfully emotional or painfully sick. Both were embarrassing.

“I’m good for now, thank you,” you politely answered Sal, giving him a smile. Joe raised his hand in a silent ‘no’ before Sal nodded and headed off to the bar.

Murr had taken out his phone and was mindlessly scrolling through Tinder, his slightly drunken fingers almost missing the phone screen as he swiped left and right.

“Any luck there, bud?” Q chuckled from the other side, looking at Murray as he swiped left again.

“None. Unless you consider a 63 year old Scandinavian woman with,” Murr leaned in close to his phone for a second, “six fingers, lucky?”

“Hey, y’know how those Scandinavian grandmothers get wild,” Joe laughed heartily from beside you, causing you to smile until your cheeks hurt. Being around the Jokers always managed to brighten your mood and make you laugh until it hurt.

“Did she seriously put six fingers in her bio?” Q asked. Murr nodded incredulously and flipped the phone away from him so Q could see for himself that it did, in fact, say six fingers. Q smiled and his eyes flickered to yours for a millisecond before he quickly averted his gaze back down to his beer bottle, his hands now gripping the neck of it a little tighter.

“Who knows, maybe that sixth finger is functional,” you giggled, making Joe and Murr laugh again. Q cracked a smile but he didn’t let out any noise. You couldn’t tell if he was fighting back laughter on purpose or if he genuinely didn’t find you funny. Either way, it made you kind of upset.

“Did I miss something?” Sal grinned as he slid back in the booth, setting the drinks on the table. Q tilted his head back to swallow the rest of his drink before grabbing the new bottle, popping the top off with his teeth. While he did that, his eyes once again made their way to you. You felt your cheeks growing hot under his gaze, suddenly feeling self-conscious and a little uncomfortable.

You shifted in your seat as Murr reached his clumsy hand out to grab his beer. He handed it over to you absentmindedly as he always did, asking you to open it. You did and handed it back, sighing as he took a swig.

“Listen, I was thinking about some ideas for a few episodes,” Sal started, already giggling, “also a few punishments.”

That started a new conversation about the show and things they wanted to try out, how it would work, and so on. While on that topic, it slowly turned into how grateful they were to have been able to start the show and become so successful because of it.

More drinks were consumed, more heartfelt memories were shared between the five of you, and more jokes were being made as drunkenness was catching up to all of you.

“Alright, I’m gonna call it quits,” Joe mumbled to you guys, taking a sip of his water. He was perfectly fine as he didn’t drink anything the entire night.

You watched as Q tapped his phone and let out a short groan as he read the time, which was 1:44am. You were too ashamed to admit that the alcohol had you shifting in your seat when Q’s groan reached your ears, which didn’t go unnoticed by Q as his eyes flitted across your body quickly.

“Bye, Joey, drive safe,” you stumbled over your words slightly as you and Murr left the booth so Joe could get out. Joe gave you a chaste kiss on the top of your head as he always did, mumbling a goodnight into your hair before saying it a little bit louder to the rest of the guys.

“Shots, anyone?” You smiled at the three men sitting around you. Murr was immediately interested, shoving your shoulder gently in an effort to make you go get them. Sal and Q both gave you a nod and that sent you on your way to the bar.

“Hey, there. What can I get you?” The bartender asked. The rather cute bartender, you might add. He smiled wide at you with his shining teeth, a few strands of his blonde hair flopping in his face.

He looked around your age, which should have made you more interested, but it didn’t. You had a habit for going for older guys. At 18, you thought it was a phase that you would get over. But now, at 24, the craving for older men only got worse. It was a bit of an issue, and a little embarrassing, but you didn’t really care. There was something about the amount of experience they’ve had that never failed to draw you in.

You asked him for six vodka shots with water backs as well as a Jack and Coke. You waited patiently as he poured it for you, tapping your finger on the counter while you watched him.

“I’ve never seen you here,” he made small talk as he prepared the drinks, flashing you another charming smile.

“Yeah, this is my first time here.”

“I’m going to take the risk and assume you’re here with someone,” he said with a grin still on his face, “either that or you have something serious you need to forget about.”

“No, I’m here with some friends,” you laughed, leaning in a little so you could hear him better. You had to admit, he was handsome. Definitely a good fuck, and he was clearly interested in you. You wouldn’t mind taking him home for a night.

“Well, ma’am, here you go,” he started, “and I know I shouldn’t, but my numbers under the Jack and Coke. Call me?”

“I’ll think about it,” you joked, and he laughed a little as you walked back to your table. Sal was already looking at you with a knowing grin on his face, no doubt ready to tease you.

“Someone’s getting laid tonight,” Sal broke the silence as you sat back in your seat, causing you to turn red and look away with a smile.

“Shut up, idiot. You’re just mad you haven’t gotten any in, like, 50 years.”

“46, actually. Just because you’re an infant, it doesn’t mean I’m a grandpa,” he said matter-of-factly, making you and Murr laugh loudly.

The shots were now situated in front of the four of you, and on the count of three, you all threw your heads back and drank. Murr was the first to grab the water immediately after, with Sal and Q right behind him. You made a face for a second but chose to not take the chaser, which earned you a few wide eyes from the guys.

“Ugh, not doing that again,” Murr complained and Sal nodded in agreement. Q looked at you with a pointed look and gestured towards one of the shot glasses, grabbing the other one for himself.

You both took the last two shots and once again you opted out of the chaser while Q took it. It burned your throat in a delicious way, and though it made you want to gag, you sort of relished the feeling.

“Y/N is fucking crazy, and I’m leaving,” Sal grumbled to your disappointment. You said your goodbyes and he left swiftly, waving down a cab and driving off. You were all staying at the same hotel as you weren’t currently in Staten Island, and there was still filming to be done.

Murr was the next to leave. You managed to help him get an Uber as he could barely see in his drunken state. After he left, the awkwardness between you and Q was thick. So thick that you could slice right through it with a knife.

“So, uh,” Q cleared his throat, shifting in his seat uncomfortably, “did’ya have fun tonight?”

His words were slightly slurred but not nearly as bad as Murr. He was still able to think and form coherent sentences, which you were grateful for. You wouldn’t be able to deal with him if he was drunk.

“Yeah, did you?”

“I always do. Those guys are fuckin’ hilarious.”

You smiled fondly at the thought of your three friends, and Q did as well. Looking down at your Jack and Coke, which was now about halfway done, you remembered the piece of paper. You took it between your pointer and thumb, reading the numbers that were slightly smudged from the condensation of your drink on it.

You saw Q watching you intensely from the corner of your eye, and that made you squirm a little. Being near him like this was so, so uncomfortable. But you couldn’t help the stirring that happened in your stomach when he licked his lips for a second.

“Are you gonna call him?”

You were a bit shocked at Q’s question, with that being the last thing you expected to hear from him. You gave him a slight shrug. The bartender was cute, but not your type.

“You shouldn’t,” Q said firmly.

“Why’s that?” You leaned in a little bit, curious to hear his answer. The alcohol was also making you more bold, allowing you to talk a little bit freely.

“He seems like a jackass.”

“I mean, he was nice as hell to me,” you pointed out, causing Q to clench his jaw tightly. You were unsure of why he was getting so upset, but you didn’t really care. If you wanted to fuck the guy, then you would (and with the way things were going, you knew you needed some way to forget this).

“Doesn’t mean he’s not a jackass.”

“You’re definitely more of a jackass than he is.”

“Shut up, ‘m not a jackass,” Q smiled a little, his confidence starting to peek through as he argued with you.

“Whatever,” you feigned annoyance, “I’m gonna call him. I hope you have a great rest of your night, I know I will.”

His smile dropped completely when you moved to stand up, making you pause for a second. He grumbled something under his breath and he shot an angry look at you.

“You’re not gonna fuck him,” Q said sternly, his voice leaving no room for any defiance. But of course, you hated him and wanted to push his buttons. You still sat back down in your seat, though.

“Says who?”

“Me.”

“Why would I care what you think? If I wanna fuck the hot guy then I will,” you were starting to get a little annoyed. But as you watched Q slowly get more upset, it left you clenching your thighs together.

Q felt you shift under the table and he smirked a bit, reaching under the table with his right hand to brush slightly against your knee before pulling his hand back to his lap. You felt butterflies erupt in your stomach at his touch.

“I guess you’re right, sweetheart,” Q mumbled, watching as you turned red at the pet name, “but he’s not gonna please you.”

“How do you know that?” You managed to squeak out, still trying to untangle your mind after hearing him call you sweetheart. Where did that come from? He had never shown any interest in you, even platonically. But now you two were flirting? It left you feeling flustered as the room grew stuffy.

“Look at him,” Q nodded in his direction, “he can’t stop starin’ at you. He’s probably never pleased a girl in his pathetic life.”

“Doesn’t mean he can’t please me.”

“You’d really choose a boy over a man?”

“I guess you’re right,” you smiled, a little defeated. You really were looking forward to sleeping with the bartender, but Q was right. He would probably be a waste of time.

“So you’re not gonna call him?”

“No, but I’ll find someone else to sleep with tonight,” you joked. Q clearly didn’t find that funny, as his only reaction was to scoff.

“You’re so fuckin’ annoying,” he growled, staring you dead in the eye. You blinked in surprise, every word of his making you step back in shock. Never would you expect those words to leave his mouth, especially directed to you.

“How am I fucking annoying? You’re trying to control who I hook up with.”

“You’re annoying because I’m lookin’ out for you and all you wanna do is eye-fuck some blonde jerkoff.”

“Well, you and the blonde jerkoff are the only two men in my line of sight. I have to eye-fuck one of you, of course it’s gonna be him.”

That only added fuel to Q’s angry fire, making him rub his face with his hand before slamming it down, his ring making a loud noise as it came in contact with the table.

“Get the fuck out of the booth and tell him you’re not interested,” Q said, oddly calm. You shook your head. You weren’t going to do that to the poor guy, whether you were interested or not.

“Fine, if you wanna be such a fuckin’ brat about it,” Q scoffed, “I’ll do it for you.”

“Q, what are you doing,” you asked frantically, watching as he confidently slid out of his seat and towards the bartender, speaking a few words in a hushed tone before putting down a few bills. By the time Q turned away and walked back to you, the bartenders face was red and he looked beyond embarrassed.

You didn’t have time to react as Q’s large hand grabbed a hold of your wrist, dragging you out of the seat and out of the bar. You didn’t try to resist, allowing him to pull you as you tried to avoid eye contact with the cute boy.

“What the fuck,” you cursed at Q, feeling aggravated at his rash actions. He shrugged and waved down a taxi, opening the door for you and telling you to get in when it arrived. Once again, you obliged.

“You are such an egotistical assho-“ Your sentence was cut off by the unexpected feeling of lips on yours. Q was kissing you.

And fuck, did you enjoy it. He tasted like beer and limes, his lips were soft and experienced as he slanted his mouth over yours. His tongue eventually licked at your bottom lip and that’s when you pushed him away, looking at him like he had three arms.

“Are you fucking crazy?”

He only shrugged again in response.

“Why?” Was all you could get out, your limbs feeling like jelly and fireworks still going off in your stomach. You were no doubt turning red already.

“Because I wanted to,” he grumbled, “for a while.”

“What?” This was news to you. Q wanted to kiss you like that for a while? Why did he always act like he fucking hated you, then? It didn’t make sense.

“Why would,” you started but didn’t finish your sentence, not able to properly express what you were thinking.

“You talk so fuckin’ much,” Q murmured as his face got close to yours again, this time waiting for a split second in case you resisted before plastering his lips to yours again. Of course you let him. He had gotten you pretty worked up in the bar, and you were now realizing that the stirring in your stomach was due to lust. You were attracted to him.

It made sense. He was exactly your type, and you didn’t know why you hadn’t figured it out sooner. But you didn’t realize he felt the same.

Q’s tongue pushing into your mouth brought you back to the moment, his big hands running up and down your thigh with the occasional light squeeze. You were a bit embarrassed to be making out with him in the back of a taxi, but you were too sucked into the moment to do anything about it. All you knew was that you needed him.

His expert mouth detached from yours and began kissing down your neck, not giving you a choice as he sucked a hickey onto your hot skin. His beard scratched deliciously against your skin, causing you to let out a slight whine.

You tugged on his hair as he continued to kiss your neck and collarbones, making him groan at the feeling. This, in turn, had you squeezing your legs together tighter.

After what seemed like a mere 2 minutes, you arrived at your hotel and Q hastily paid the driver before getting out and grabbing your hand, pulling you straight to the elevator and hitting the button to get to the fourth floor.

He wasted no time on getting his lips back to yours, pushing you against the wall and ignoring when you huffed in pain. You didn’t care that the railing was stabbing into your back, all you cared about was the smell of smoke and whiskey that was surrounding you as you kissed the handsome man in front of you.

Q’s fingers were digging into your hips desperately as he tried his best to get as close to you as he could. Most of his body weight was leaning on you, giving you a sense of comfort within your adrenaline rush.

His hands moved from your hips down to your pussy, rubbing light circles on top of your pants as you moved down onto his hand, trying your best to create more friction. He chuckled into the kiss right as the elevator dinged, signalling that you had reached your floor.

Q once again dragged you out and down the hall, making a right before reaching his door and fumbling for his room key. He got it out and pushed you in, not giving you any time to look around before you were being shoved against the wall again.

He closed the door with his foot before sucking a dark hickey onto your collarbone, his hands making their way to the bottom of your shirt.

You were an absolute mess at that point. He was driving you crazy, and his rushed movements only added to the burning desire you had for him.

You moved his hands and pulled your shirt up over your head, allowing him to take your breasts into his rough hands and look at them for a second.

“So perfect,” he mumbled, leaning in to kiss the skin that was spilling out the top of your bra. His kisses slowed down as he appreciated you, marking hickies all across both of your breasts before moving to unhook your bra. You allowed him to do so, leaning your head back against the cold wall and closing your eyes, slightly gasping as he removed your bra and your nipples were exposed to the freezing air.

Q quickly took one of your nipples into his warm mouth, effectively heating you up and giving you goosebumps as you moaned. His other hand made its way to your other breast, playing with it and tweaking your nipple before he switched his position and did the opposite.

All you would do was whimper and try your best to stay standing, your legs threatening to give out as Q hummed around your breast in pleasure.

Once he met your lips with his again, he swiftly picked you up and allowed you to wrap your legs around his waist while he carried you to his room. He ran his hands up and down your back the entire time, even going down to grab your ass a few times.

The second you reached his bedroom he threw you into the bed before climbing on top of you so his waist was once again between your legs. You could feel his cock straining against his jeans as he began to grind slightly against the inside of your thigh while kissing you.

“Fuck, Q,” you moaned out, throwing your head back as he once again took your nipple in his mouth. He started to pull down your pants but you stopped him, all but ripping his shirt off first.

“Can’t be patient, sweetheart?” He chuckled, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down just slightly to relieve his cock of the pressure.

“Stop fucking teasing me,” you complained, pulling down your pants quickly. His eyes shot down to the growing wet spot on your panties before he smirked and looked back up at you.

“What do you want, doll?”

“Q,” you stared at him, trying to convey that you were not in the mood for games. This only made his cocky smirk grow as he opened his mouth to reply to you.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” he chuckled lowly, “use your words.”

Fuck, that had you struggling.

“God, Brian, just fuck me,” you finally said, using his first name in an attempt to show him you were serious. He caught onto that, a deep groan escaping his now swollen lips.

“Say my name again.”

“Brian, I need you,” you tested the waters, blushing when he sat back on his heels and looked at you with hungry eyes. He palmed his cock and groaned again, panting a little when he made eye contact with you again.

“My name sounds so good when you’re sayin’ it,” he mumbled, leaning down to kiss just below your breasts. He made his way lower and lower until his breath was fanning across your pussy, making you shiver in anticipation.

“I don’t know if you deserve this,” he quipped, “you were about to fuck that other guy.”

“Oh my god, get mad about it later. Just touch me.”

Q did the opposite of what you wanted, and he instead leaned back away from you so he was once again sitting on his heels.

“Get on your knees.”

You didn’t hesitate to oblige, slowly sinking off the bed and onto your knees as Q pulled his jeans down the rest of the way along with his boxers. His cock finally sprung free and he let out a sigh in relief before pumping it a few times. You basically drooled at the sight of it, trying to memorize the way his happy trail teased his stomach down to his dick, and the way he pleasured himself. His hands had become rather veiny, and as he rubbed himself, you quickly took a mental picture of the erotic act. You would definitely keep that in mind next time you had to get off.

He was bigger than you thought he’d be, and definitely more girthy. You were not complaining, though. This was everything you didn’t even know you wanted.

Q grunted and placed his left hand on your face, stroking your chin and running his thumb down your lips to part them. He slipped his thumb into your mouth and watched as you sucked on it excitedly.

“God, you’re drivin’ me crazy,” he hummed, pulling his thumb out of your mouth with a ‘pop’. He pumped himself one more time before letting the tip of his cock get closer to your lips, which you happily opened to accept him.

He slowly put himself in your mouth and your head buzzed when he sighed heavily. Once he was in your mouth, you quickly began to suck.

You blew your cheeks out and travelled to the tip of his cock, giving it a few licks before taking just the head in your mouth. Q now had both of his hands in your hair, not pushing but just resting there.

He let you decide your own tempo as you continued to focus on just the tip before you spat in your hands to jerk off whatever wasn’t in your mouth. All he could do was groan and buck his hips, his head thrown back in pleasure.

“Fuck,” he cursed, “you look so pretty like that.”

You bathed in his praise and sucked a little bit harder before detaching yourself from him and tracing a vein on his cock with your tongue.

“Christ, stop, ‘m gonna cum,” he pulled your head away and back up to his mouth, placing a hard kiss on your lips. You eagerly kissed him back, your hand trying to find its way back into his lap. He quickly intervened and pinned your hand behind your back, gently laying you down.

He made his way lower and slowly pulled your panties down with his teeth before attaching his lips to your thighs in order to leave more hickies.

“Brian, enough teasing,” you didn’t care that you sounded whiny and needy. That’s exactly how you felt.

“Alright, you’ve been so good for me,” he agreed, not giving you a second to recover from his praise before taking your clit into his mouth and sucking. You let out a high pitched moan as he continued to work on your pussy, leaving broad licks as well as shorter ones that effectively left you squirming.

Your hands were deep in his hair, pulling hard and he groaned, the sound vibrating against you and making you shiver. You already felt your climax building, and when he put in one of his fingers, you knew you were almost done for.

He began to pump his pointer finger in and out of you while eating you out, slowly teasing you with his middle finger before pushing that one into you as well. Your back arched and you moaned his name loudly, feeling that familiar knot in your stomach as it burst.

Q pumped and licked you through your orgasm, giving you a minute to settle down your fast beating heart before giving you another kiss on your thigh.

“You taste so good,” he licked his lips and put his fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean. He kissed you and allowed you to taste yourself, making you moan again.

Brian’s cock was leaking with precum when he leaned backwards and you arched your back again at the sight right as he began to tease you with his tip. He slowly buried himself inside of you with a satisfied sigh. Once he was at the hilt, he groaned and dropped his head to your shoulder, pressing a kiss there.

“God, Y/N, you’re so fuckin’ wet,” he murmured into your skin as he slowly started to move his hips, pushing himself in and out of you. He wasn’t moving fast at all, allowing both of you to feel the intimacy of the moment.

You realized then that this was more than sex to you. You didn’t know how he felt about it, but you wanted something with him. You needed him beyond pleasure.

“Look at how pretty you are,” Q mumbled almost to himself, his eyes trained on his cock as it disappeared inside of you before returning with your wetness on it. He slowly started to pick up the pace, and soon enough the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the room along with both of you moaning profanities. His rough hand made its way to your clit, rubbing lazy circles there as he fucked you.

“You’re beautiful,” he groaned, one of his hands gripping the headboard tightly as he thrusted into you. He angled himself experimentally to find your sweet spot, and when he did, he kept driving into it.

“Brian, fuck!”

“That’s it, baby, say my fuckin’ name,” he growled, his free hand gently slapping you across your face, “let everyone know who you belong to.”

You almost came just from that but you held on a little longer, saying his name louder and louder as you approached your second orgasm.

“You’re such a fuckin’ whore,” Q spat out roughly into your ear as he kissed your neck and bit your earlobe. You moaned and pushed back to meet each of his thrusts, running your hands through his thick hair while kissing every bit of skin that you could reach.

You had never had sex this good.

“Fuck, sweetheart, I’m gonna cum,” Brian rasped into your ear, his voice gravelly from groaning. You scratched your nails down his back and whimpered as you felt him speed up slightly.

“God, me too,” you all but screamed as he hit all the right spots inside of you. With a few more thrusts you were riding your high, and you quickly squeezed your core to further intensify Brian’s pleasure.

“Feels so good,” he groaned, “where do you want me to cum?” Each of his words were enunciated with a thrust.

“Wherever you fucking want,” you whined, feeling his hips buck erratically as he reached his orgasm.

He thrusted once more before pulling out and busting his load all of your breasts. You reached out and pumped him, milking him as his uneven breath started to slow down.

“Fuck, stop,” he chuckled a little, his cock growing sensitive to your touch. You let go of him and felt your eyes droop slightly. He returned with a towel and cleaned you up before helping you sit up and putting a shirt on you.

“Brian, that was-“

“Fuckin’ incredible.”

“Exactly what I was gonna say,” you giggled, taking a risk and cuddling into his bare chest. He draped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close and pressing a kiss onto your head.

“That blonde asshole wouldn’t be able to make you feel that good.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“An idiot that’s seen you naked,” he teased, making you smile again. You didn’t have the energy to reply to him, so you instead let your eyes close as you drifted off to sleep.

The man you thought hated you pulled you closer, mumbling sweet nothings in your ear as his breathing evened out and he fell asleep as well.

You were going to have one hell of an awkward morning.

[b4rredteeth]

Perhaps he should’ve been an actor. Benny felt a whirlwind of emotions crush his heart, but he remained cold, pushed his reluctance to continue with this down and instead focussed on what he needed to do: Mei could not handle his life, Mei would just become another log to drop onto the fire of the inferno that was his life. This secret had protected them both from the judgement of others, but it had also protected Mei from becoming a target anyone could use to get to him. It was too easy to think out those scenarios in his head. More than that, she had seen his family, she had seen how cold and terrible they were… if they got together, she would have nothing, because Benny had nobody. Only enemies and people he occasionally slept with that would become jealous soon enough if he cut them off for an actual relationship. No, this was doomed to fail so he had to stand his ground. 

But Mei did make it hard, harder than he’d hoped it would be. He almost wanted to reach out to her and tell her it was worth it. Instead he stuck to his role. By now he’d hoped she would’ve been disgusted enough by him to tell him to leave. That she never wanted to see him again. Instead she got dressed, shading her body for him, one that had taken her so long to expose in the first place. A pang of guilt flashed through him, which he did his best to ignore. And when she suggested they could stop being a secret, he realised he’d made on very VERY big error in judgement. It caught him so off guard he almost choked on his words. 

It was already too late. She already liked him too much… could it be that she’d been doing the secretive part for his sake? Not for her own. He gritted his teeth together and bit back the sudden longing. His frustration was with himself, but he channelled it towards her. “That ain’t the only problem,” he said, sounding annoyed and frustrated. “Much as I enjoyed having sex, you’re just… well, you.” He let her fill in anything else she might want to fill in. If he needed to make her hate him, he would do so. No matter how much it was starting to pain him. He would get over it, she would too. “I ain’t fucking acting,” he spit back, frustration boiling. “Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but this was never anything more than sex. Very good sex, but still just that.” Lie lie lie.

@fragilcline

THE LOGICAL SIDE OF HER WANTED TO POINT out that this was always coming, that it was stupid to think stealing Benny's nights away could be a scenario that lasted forever. Even if Mei was now realizing once it was being cut off that she didn't want it to end, stomach sinking at the idea. Fingers gripped the blanket tight, as if that would somehow ground her from all the thoughts rushing through her head, all the emotions slamming into her. "It's not worth it," she repeated, immediately regretting the four words when she could hear her own vulnerability within them. Her brain wracked the last interactions they had, searching to find some kind of sign that this was coming that she somehow missed. But she couldn't locate one. In the last months, Benny shared his past, he was gentle even when her panic showed itself the most, and he whispered sweet nothings to her in the darkness. And now it meant nothing. "I don't understand," she whispered. The artist refused to let him get off that easily, even if continuing this conversation pained her with every moment it went on longer. Pushing herself towards the edge of the bed, she picked up the sweatshirt that had been discarded, pulling it over herself, limbs clutching her body in an attempt to make herself smaller. Now she felt as if she didn't want to expose herself to him any further, feeling overly exposed with this current knowledge. None of what happened between them felt as deep, as intimate, as she had originally perceived them. "If hiding it is the problem, then we could just...stop hiding," she suggested softly, meaning it. Mei had never brought it up previously, assuming he had no interest in it, either. She wasn't exactly the type that someone could brag about being with nor did she want to have to listen to the advice of those who would suggest it was a bad idea. Even if this moment was proving hypothetical advice correct. His words towards this morning only made the sick feeling within her grow, disliking the tone of his words. "It wouldn't be less enjoyable--it wouldn't have happened. You can't just--if you planned on saying this." Arms tightly coiled around herself in an act of comfort, puzzled expression still studying him for any type of explanation to supply why he could go from giving her sweet words in her bed to coldly cutting everything off as if it were nothing. Her voice became softer as the pain within it became more obvious, urging him to be sincere with her and searching for the person she thought she had gotten to know over the last few months. This didn't feel like that same version of Benny she got when it was just the two of them. "Why are you acting like this?" // @b4rredteeth

[gotnofucks]

Will you make me a drabble where I ask Steve to be my daddy or just make him my daddy🥺🥺👉👈 love you bestie!!

Title: The Journey to Daddy

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Summary: Five times you call Steve ‘daddy’, and the one times he asks you to.

Words: 1.6k

Warning: slight smut, daddy kink, some jealousy and possessiveness, 18+ Only

A/N: There is only one person who can ever make me go soft. Berry, this is for you. Love you more my queen @donutloverxo

+++++

1.

Sometimes, you felt like an onion. You had a lot of layers around you: secrets, insecurities, dreams you were scared of living, things that were never said. And every time, it felt like Steve would peel a layer to expose the truest form of you. You'd never felt as naked as you did when his eyes were fixed on you, with no judgement or question, only love.

You'd been going out for months now, learning about each other, exploring your boundaries. Steve was the most attentive boyfriend. He was caring and respectful, always there for you before you even asked for him. He'd lift you up when you needed something from the top shelf. He'd cook for you because he knew you liked the domestic look on him. He'd tickle you to tears when you were down, trailing kisses down your forehead to your nose to your chin before blowing a raspberry on the hollow of your neck that would have you giggling.

Steve was so perfect, and it was very unconscious the first time you called him Daddy. You were in the kitchen and had broken a plate when Steve came rushing out, carrying you away from the wreckage to make sure you were okay. he wouldn't let you clean it, afraid you'd hurt yourself.

"You're okay baby?" He had asked.

"Yes daddy" you had softly replied into his neck, soothed by his smell. And though he didn't say anything, the thought kept running in his head. Daddy?

2.

Your cries got higher with each thrust, nails digging into Steve’s shoulder as he pumped into you. He loved it when you got like this, all dumbed down and messy, garbling words that felt like poetry to him. You came around him again, squeezing his length between the velvety walls of your sex and he released into you with a growl.

Sweaty and spent, you looked a beauty to him as you laid under his naked body covered in his essence. His large body framed yours and as he leaned in to kiss your glistening and bruised lips, you tiredly said, "I love you, daddy".

He stilled, whispering a love you back before collapsing next to you. Looking at you drifting away, he got up to clean you and cover you up, holding you close as his thoughts ran wild. There it was again. Daddy. Why did you call him that?

3.

Your birthdays were more important to Steve than they were to you. Every time, even when you’d not been dating, Steve would pull all stops for your birthday. He’d arrange a party that would consist only of your closest friends and family, cook all your favorite food, and would make sure everyone got you a present you liked.

There was that time Steve had made a list and gave it out. “Just get her something from this. I know what she likes.” Idiot. He should have put only his name on the list, since there was nothing you wanted more than him. Today, as you celebrated this day as a couple, he decided to make it intimate and private.

He decorated the balcony in your favorite fairy lights, lightening soft candles and putting your favorite flowers everywhere so that it smelled divine. You both sat under the stars, holding each other as you snuggled in the blanket, talking in hushed tone.

“What did you wish for when you blew the candles?” He asked, pressing his lips on the crown of your head. You looked at him, eyes reflecting the candles that danced in the wind.

“I have everything I want. Here.” You said, touching his chest. “You’re all I want. Thank you for today, daddy.”

You kissed him, not noticing the slight hitch in his breath as you said that. Daddy, he liked how that sounded.

4.

The sounds of typing were a normal in your house, but it bothered Steve when it went past midnight for the third night in a row. He saw you stifle another yawn, rubbing at your eyes as you tried to finish this project on time. You worked way too hard if you asked him.

“Baby, come to bed. It’s late.”

“I can’t, really need to get this done.”

Steve sighed, washing your now empty coffee mug before sitting beside you. He counted three more yawns along with four curses whispered under your breath and he knew he needed to step in. Gently stopping your hand, he turned you to face him and cupped your face.

“You still have four days before you need to turn this in. Come to bed honey, you’re tired and I don’t wanna sleep without you.”

You pouted, tired and internally glad that he finally stopped you. Nodding, you allowed him to more or less carry you into the bedroom and put you into pajamas, tucking you into the warmth of his body as he turned out the lights.

“Sleep, sweetheart. I’ll make you your favorite breakfast tomorrow so you’re all charged up for another day of working. I love you.”

His arms came around you, your back to his chest. Tangling your fingers with his, you pressed a sleepy kiss on his knuckles before whispering into the dark, “good night daddy. Love you too.”

5.

The fifth time you did it, you scared him.

The Avengers Gala was something Steve hated and loved. He loved he could have you on his arm, his girl to proclaim before the world. His friends got together and had a nice time, and people he hadn’t seen for a while surfaced too.

What Steve couldn’t handle was the audacity of men to ogle you. Despite you being on his arm, they would follow you with their creepy eyes, trying to sneak in a word whenever someone pulled him away from you. He knew he mustn’t be jealous; if there was anything Steve was ever secure about, it was your love for him. But he couldn’t stand still watching some good for nothing bastard try to win you over with a pick up line that was older than he was.

“Excuse me gentlemen” He almost growled, taking your arm possessively before whisking you away into a dark corner, intent on having you all to himself. You rolled your eyes, used to this act by now. You’d never told him, but it was almost endearing watching a man like him get so antsy over you.

“You can’t always hide me away!” You chided him but didn’t push him away. You preferred his company over any other, and if were to take you home right now, you wouldn’t mind. Steve bit his lips before cutting a glance to the men who were flirting with you earlier, a snarl lodged in his chest.

“No, but I can do this!” His lips crashed on yours, pulling you into a deep kiss that tasted of his power and love. You melted into his touch, arms hooking around his neck to bring him down to your height, tongues tangling together in a sloppy kiss. Steve didn’t let up until you had to finally break to breath, both panting hard.

“What was that for?” You asked, softly touching your lips that tingled.

“To remind everyone that you belong to me!” He said, pulling you closer. You smiled, pressing another kiss on his lips before tucking your head under his neck.

“Of course I belong to you daddy.”

He spent the rest of the party distracted. You’d called him that a lot recently. But why? Did you want him to be a daddy? You'd both decided to never to have children in the early days of getting together. Why then did you call him daddy? And why did it send a thrill down his back? God, he hoped you weren't pregnant.

+ 1

The morning after the party, he woke you up with kisses trailing down your neck, soothing the sting of the bites he had placed there last night. As you whimpered, wanting to sleep some more, he pushed a hand under your top to tickle your ribs, smiling as you giggled and squirmed.

“Steve!” You squealed as he reached under your breast. He chuckled before kissing up your exposed tummy, loving the sounds of your laughter as he reached your mouth and pressed deep and slow kisses there.

“Good morning.” He said, nuzzling his nose into you. You sighed in happiness, snuggling into him and breathing in his scent.

“Good morning.”

You stayed that way for a while, him gently rocking you back and forth as you hummed, enjoying the quiet morning together. It was after a few minutes that Steve spoke.

“Why do you call me daddy?”

A sudden shyness came over you and you buried your face deeper into his chest, not speaking. Steve tutted, gently pulling you back and titling your face up to meet his eyes.

"Do you want us to have a kid?" Steve asked and you shook your head.

"No." You said, embarrassed.

"Then why do you call me daddy?"

You looked at him with glittering eyes, cupping his cheek softly that was threatening to develop a scruff if not shaved.

"Because I trust you." You said. "I never have to hide from you, never have to worry. You look after me, you love me unconditionally. You care about me in a way no one has ever before. When you take charge, it makes me feel good. I love it when you guide me in bed. I love it when you step up and look after me. Calling you daddy puts those feelings into words."

Steve couldn't look away from you and your eyes. The love and trust you put in him made him a better person, it made him feel worthy. All he ever wanted in life was to have someone to call his own, to hold them and love them and never let any harm come to them. Looking into your eyes, he knew he had all he wanted. He held you closer and tighter, brushing your lips with his.

"Say it again then, baby."

"Daddy"