#He has too many happy expressions...need to get a variety in there

[subwaytostardew]

falls to my hands and knees. please god let me date cilan

Just going to put a disclaimer that Cilan is in his 20s in this mod before continuing... (Since he's 16 in the anime but... The mod takes place after Best Wishes.) Kids may be able to be champion and fill government positions back in Unova, but Cilan is at a legal working age so he can open his own cafe in Stardew Valley. He didn't have to give up his job as a sommelier when moving. He would be around the Sam-Sebastian age range.

We might add that as an option later after we start on the roommate Cilan update, but that won't be until much MUCH later on our to-do list. We want to write his platonic route first (less rewriting... Ingo's whole route is going to need a rework but Emmet is mostly fine until after 8 hearts). Cilan's romance route probably won't be too different from his roommate route outside of kissing him instead of hugging. There's a lot more for him to do outside of that! He's an everything connoisseur! He'll get too caught up in his infodumps to remember to say "I love you". He's sorry!

That also reminds me........ I never drew a blushy/embarassed portrait for him! I organized the portrait sheet I posted earlier wrong! The first 6 boxes are hardcoded so they need to be in order of neutral, happy, sad, anything, blush, and angry. His angry portrait was where he was supposed to blush and the first of his many infodumping expressions was where he was supposed to be angry! Anyways... Here's his blushing/embarassed portraits.

Still planning out how to write him and what his storyline would be but this is what I had so far:

Cilan is unsatisfied with just running a resturaunt with his brothers back in Unova. After travelling with Ash and Iris, he's a little bored; he craves adventure, travel, and excitement- so he jumped at the opportunity to open a faraway cafe in a new station built by submas. The farmer introduces him to the new flavors of the valley (quite literally... Grow him some corn or something and he'll lose his mind) and Cilan takes an immediate interest in them after that. He's happy to cook up new recipies with all the ingredients he has access to!

Along the line, Cilan expresses insecurity about not being sure about what he should do with himself since he doesn't like feeling tied down with only one line of work... He loves being able to explore new experiences! Staying cooped up in a resturant doesn't stimulate his hunger for knowledge (he loves knowing it all... if he can't infodump about everything ever then what's the point 💔). Identity crisis aside, he also feels pressured to stick to one line of work since he's aware that others are annoyed by his interest in well... everything. The farmer reassures him that they like listening to him infodump and that it's good to be enthusiastic about everything! They also help him realize that he doesn't necessarily need to settle down and that he can just do whatever makes him happy. The farmer's a farmer, but most of their time is spent running around slaying monsters and stuff in various dungeons! Cilan kind of freaks out when he learns about that but it does spark his interest so he requests to tag along with the farmer on their next adventure.

Cilan ends up really liking the farmer's adventuring antics and they get closer as friends with him tagging along being a regular occurence. Farmer gets a healer. Cilan gets to forage for more ingredients while having fun learning about various monsters/swordfighting/the mysteries of the valley/etc and infodumping to someone who likes listening to him. He makes a good farmhand, too! They might as well live together. So that ends up being an option.

▷ Station Steward Thylak

[lou-struck]

Missed Messages

Lucifer x reader

~ You have always tried to be self sufficient and fight your own battles. But when you reach your breaking point, you find yourself alone.

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, physical and emotional feelings of stress, reader getting treated poorly for being a human, group projects.

~2.9k

You feel like there is a little stress demon bouncing around your chest. In the human world, group projects were annoying, and unfortunately, they still exist in hell.

For one of your classes, you were paired up with Olivier, a Greater demon from one of the Devildom's wealthy families, and his companions. Right from the get-go, he made it very clear that he had no intention of working on a project with a filthy human and that if you were to say anything about his refusal, it would make Diavolo's exchange program look bad if it appeared that the demons at RAD were not being accepting of humans. 

At first, you thought his threat was silly. That he was simply a slacker who wanted to get out of work. But after a while, you realized that Olivier has a strong distaste for humans and could have the influence to cause problems for the exchange program if you were to speak out against his behaviors. 

So, you put on your best face and ignored his prejudiced behavior. The subtle comments he would make under his breath when you asked questions in class, the way he would cleanse his hand with fire magic after coming into contact with something you had touched, and the way conversations would die out whenever you entered a room without one of the brothers, the Angels, or Diavolo himself by your side. 

You have been tirelessly working on this massive project all by yourself; it has stolen all of your free time, and feelings of sardonic frustration are just welling up inside of you. Now, just like the too-heavy book bag that clings to your shoulder, You are nearing your breaking point. 

The House of Lamination is a safe haven for you after your tiring days at RAD, but right as you enter through its massive double doors, you come face to face with Lucifer. The Avatar of Pride greets you with a loving expression, but he looks just as exhausted as you feel. 

"Mc? Is something troubling you?" he asks, taking in your downcast features with a frown. You want to tell him of your little problem, but he is ridiculously busy and probably has more important things to do than dealing with your inability to play nice with others.

After all, a classmate not liking you is no excuse for you to receive a poor grade on your project…

"Not at all," you reply, flashing him a sweet, convincing smile. "I'm just getting a bit hangry, I can't wait for dinner tonight."

"I see," he says doubtfully.

"How are you doing?" you ask, changing the subject. 'You look a bit stressed."

"Is it that obvious?" he chuckles, raking his hand through his raven-colored hair. "Apparently, those rubber duck toys from the human world have become quite popular in the Devildom, and Lord Diavolo thought it would be fun to give them out at RAD. So now I am going through the student council finances to determine how many ducks and varieties we need."

"Sounds complicated, but why you?"

"No clue," he sighs, "But he seems to think that I have a hidden fondness for these toys."

"Well, I'm sure this Rubber Duck event will go off without a hitch," you say earnestly. "You are so organized and capable you can make anything successful."

"Do you really mean that?" he asks, a smile gracing his fine features. You nod as he gives you a soft peck on the forehead as thanks for your kind words. "I have to work through this paperwork now, but I feel more inclined to do it after your encouragement, Mc."

"Wait," you call after him. "You better make it down for dinner tonight then; if you don't, I will personally invite Solomon to come and prepare the next meal."

His eyes widen as a shudder courses through his strong back. "There's no need for that. I promise to be down for dinner."

~

Hours later, everyone is gathered around the dinner, eating some kind of Devildom variation of lasagna that Satan made.

Beel has a whole sheet pan to himself and is chowing down as he and Belphie seem to be having a telepathic conversation that no one at the table is able to decipher. Lucifer is at the head of the table, keeping true to his promise of joining you, but he is eating quickly, clearly in a rush.

Asmodeus sits to your right, talking animatedly about something that happened today when he was at the mall, you're sure it's an entertaining story based on the reactions of the others, but you are too lost in thought, poking at your dinner plate with a silver fork. 

Although you have been working on your project for days, there is no way you are going to finish the damn thing on time. This workload was meant for a large group, not just one human.

"Mc? What are ya thinkin' about?" Mammon asks, stirring you from your thoughts. "Ya haven't touched yer dinner."

"Satan looks up at you from across the table. "Do you not care for this dish?" he asks. "I could make you something else if you would prefer it?" his dejection breaks your heart.

You shake your head quickly. "No, not at all," you say. "I love it; the sauce is really creamy, I just got distracted."

"Oh, I see." he nods as you take a bite of his dish. "I'm relieved."

"Gahhhh," Levi cries from his seat as he sets his game console down on the table. His screen flashing red tells you that he has just failed the level he was on. "I can't believe it, I was so close."

"Leviathan, what did I say about playing video games at the dinner table?" Lucifer asks the purple-haired demon sternly. 

"N-not to." he sulks, slipping the little handheld off the table and into his deep jacket pocket.

"Thank you," the eldest responds. He clears his throat to get the attention of everyone. "Now, if I could just have a second of your time."

"One," Belphie deadpans, looking at his older brother. They hold eye contact, and it is clear the youngest is struggling to keep a straight face at his joke.

"Anyways," the taller demon continues, "I have a very important task to finish tonight, and I will need absolutely-"

"That's two seconds now." Satan interrupts with a snicker. 

Lucifer, with the wisdom and patience of the oldest sibling, chooses to ignore the teasing and continue with what he is saying. "As I was saying, I require peace and quiet to complete these documents, so I will now be returning to my study and enchanting the door with a noise-canceling spell. I do not wish to be disturbed, so please only contact me if it is an emergency."

"Wait? So we jus can do whatever we wanna do tonight?" Mammon asks, his eyes sparkle with mischievous greed as he imagines the possibilities before him.

"Within reason, Mammon," Lucifer's crimson glare shoots to all his brothers. "But if I find out that any of you decided to waste your free time running about the Devildom causing problems, rest assured, I will punish you using everything at my disposal." The room falls silent as the Avatar of Pride rises from his seat and turns to leave. His massive cape swishes dramatically as he walks out the dining room doors. 

Unsurprisingly, Asmo is the first to spring from his seat. His arms wrap around you as you inhale his sweet peach-scented cologne. "Mc, come to my room. I have the cutest top you can wear tonight when you go to the club with me." he purrs into the shell of your ear.

"No way," Mammon objects. "The human is gonna come to the Casino with the Great Mammon tonight." 

Before the two demons try to drag you across the Devildom to party, you object. "Actually, I have a project to work on," you say, standing. "But you guys have fun."

"Wait, Mc," Beel asks softly, his big eyes full of hope. "Belphie and I were gonna go get some shaved ice for dessert. Would you like to join us?"

Your heart flutters tenderly at the Avatar of Gluttony's request, but the stress you are feeling is hitting you ten-fold. "I wish I could, Beel. But I really have to get my assignment done."

"May I join you two?" Satan asks. "I find myself in the mood for dessert."

"Me too," Levi quips.

"Sounds like a plan," Belphie says, looking at you with a pout. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

"I'm positive," you reply, giving them your most convincing smile. "Now, you guys should go before the shop closes for the night." Beel's eyes go wide with worry, and he hastily leaves the room. As the others follow him out. 

Now alone, your body begins to tremble under the stress of the deadline looming over your head. The walk back to your desk is a long one, and tears begin to wheel in your eyes as you stare down at your assignment rubric and wonder how, in the three realms, you are going to be able to finish this project on time. 

~

It's been hours of working. Stressing, erasing, and overthinking and you feel like you are nearing your wits end. 

Your screen lights up with a message from Asmodeus. When you open it is a video attachment. Clicking on it you see that the 6 brothers are sharing a lush VIP booth at the Fall. "I wish you were hereeeee," Asmo yells into the speaker just above the thrumming base that belphie manages to sleep through peacefully. Their cheeks are ruddy from demonus, and they have the happiest smiles on their faces. 

It brings a smile to your face as you rewatch the video. Just behind Mammon, you see a figure that has you seeing red. 

He is double-fisting some kind of green demonus and wearing a ridiculous hat, but you see your classmates, the demon Olivier and the rest of your 'group' out partying without a care in the world.

While you are at home, working tirelessly on their project. 

Something inside of you just shatters, and you turn away from your desk and throw yourself onto your bed. The soft pillows muffle your cries of frustration. Your DDD feels like a brick in your hand as you raise it to your eye level. 

Your tired face stares back at you on the black screen, and you feel so alone.

You need to talk to someone…

But it's the middle of the night, Simeon and Solomon have gone to bed hours ago and Diavolo and Barbatos are off at a diplomatic conference. You know in your heart that Lucifer is still awake, hunched over his desk as he works through his mountain of paperwork.

Although he said he did not want to be disturbed, your feelings are too severe. 

This feels like an emergency. 

You call him, wanting to at least hear the soothing sound of his voice. The Dial Tone rings once, twice, thrice… but he doesn't pick up.

You sit there, listening to the dull sound of his answering machine. "I guess even in Hell, I have to leave voicemails," you murmur, waiting for the beep. 

"Hey… It's me," you say into the speaker. It's a struggle to keep your voice steady. "I know it's late, and you have lots to do, but if you get this, could you ple-please come here. I just really need someone to talk to right now."

Just voicing your struggle is enough to send tears trickling down your face, and you quickly hang up the phone before you let out one of those raspy, croaking sounds loose from your throat.

Exhaustion courses through your body as you give up on completing the group project for the night. Perhaps when you wake tomorrow, you will have the energy to pretend your problems don't exist.

~

Lucifer wakes up with his head against the polished mahogany of his desk. A bit of drool wetting the surface as he runs his hands through his hair. "What time is it?" he mutters groggily, reaching out blindly for his DDD. 

He pats the empty surface and sits up straighter. Finding that his device is not in its usual place on his desk. His brow furrows as he begins to look through the mountain of papers, trying not to ruffle the organized stacks that he completed earlier before dozing off.

Minutes later of flipping and straightening, he finds it under the center stack and sees that it is flooded with pictures from his brothers, who look like they had a great, but expensive, night out together. 

It brings a warm smile to his lips when he sees their cheesing faces. But then he notices another notification he hadn't seen before. "Mc sent me a voicemail?" He clicks play.

"Hey… It's me. I know it's late and you have lots to do, but if you get this could you ple- please come here. I just really need someone to talk to right now." your voice sounds so weak and shaky it fills him with dread. 

How could he have missed this?

He stands abruptly, papers flying everywhere from the movement, but he really couldn't care less.

You need him. 

You needed him last night and he wasn't there for you.

He has to find you, hold you, and do whatever he can to make you feel better. 

~

Apparently, falling asleep after hitting an emotional low does not constitute the most restful sleep. Your neck feels stiff as you pull your head up from your pillows. The fabric is still slightly damp from your tears the night before. There's this icky feeling in your chest, but it doesn't seem to go away. It only intensifies when you look over at your desk, your unfinished project littering the once pristine space.

Your door flies open suddenly as a gust of air reaches your skin. Lucifer stands in the doorway tensely. He looks ragged, tired, and his deep crimson eyes are muddled with heartbreaking concern. You immediately remember the voicemail that you sent him the night before

You stressed him out; you have to fix this. 

"Good morning, Lucifer," you smile. But it doesn't reach your eyes. He can see through your little act. "I didn't mean to worry you with that voicemail; it was really nothing."

"What's wrong?" he says, coming forward, closing that painful distance with determination. His hand cupping your cheek, forcing you to meet his eyes.

It's funny how one simple touch has your self-assured act crumbling to the ground like a poorly constructed house of cards. 

You find yourself spilling every detail to him, your exhaustion, the group project, the ostracization from your groupmates, and how you saw that they were out at the club last night."

All the while, Lucifer nods along with your story, his thumb gently running along your cheek in a soothing motion. His actions are caring and tender toward you, but there is a fire blazing in his eyes reserved for someone else. You may not know it yet, but Olivier’s days of comfort are numbered. 

"Why didn't you tell me of this before," he asks softly once you finish your explanation. "Why did you take this burden upon yourself?"

"I was worried, "you admit. "I heard that Olivier comes from an influential family. If I said anything, he could cause problems for the exchange program that you and Diavolo have worked so hard for."

"Mc, I promise you, that little rat was greatly exaggerating his self-importance." Lucifer's hand rubs gentle circles into your back. "If anything, you have far more influence in Devildom politics than he does," he adds with an amused chuckle. "

"He's still a jerk, though." you sniffle, wiping your eyes. "Thank you for coming here to cheer me up."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner," he murmurs. "You needed me, and I let you down; please let me make it up to you today."

"You have nothing to make up for," you start, glancing back at your table. "Besides, I have to finish that project before tomorrow."

"Absolutely not," he says abruptly. "You will not lay a finger on that project since clearly you have done more than your share. I will make sure Lord Diavolo hears of this situation and you receive full marks on the work you have already done. I need you to know that you can rely on me. No matter how busy I am, I should never be too busy to come to your aid."

"I love you," you sigh, feeling the burdens lifting off your chest and disappearing into nothingness. "But I should've told you sooner. What do you think will happen to the rest of my group?"

He smiles and kisses the top of your head; as you lean into his touch, you don't see the dark look on his features. "Don't worry about them, Mc, I'll make sure they never cause you pain ever again. Now, let's get changed; I'll take you to that new cafe that opened up to Majolish and enjoy the rest of the day.

Tagging: @enchantedforest-network

[dawnoflemuria]

♡a small collective of acts of love of a wide variety. It comes in many forms and isn't always truly apparent. Depending on personality, preferences, and mannerisms. Tried to make sure they're gender neutral & well balanced for the different tropes ♡

Helping them put on jewelery, a muted rosey hue tinting their cheeks as their fingertips graze the others skin.

Taking the others perspective into consideration when making big decisions. They don't want to upset or cross any lines the one they admire may have.

Respects any and all boundaries of their partner, even if they can't quite understand them. Is every patient with them, and will try to understand the best they can.

Gives specific gifts that will invoke the best reactions. They get so giddy when their partner or friends are happy.

will sing around them, even if not the greatest at it.

remembers the finest of detail about their partner. will even write it down if they fear they will forget it.

uplifts them whenever they are feeling low, encourages their dreams within reason so not to provide any false hopes.

will hold the other accountable for their own good and will also help solve any problems that arise because of said accountability.

packs things they know the other will likely forget when going on trips.

includes them in their favorite activities, showing them their own tips and tricks for it.

let's the other passionately ramble on about whatever has caught their attention, without judgment, and will engage regularly with questions or shared curiosity.

will record their favorite TV shows so when they visit they can still watch it if they want to.

shares their favorite books/songs/things together

platonic kisses and hugs

tidying shared spaces so the other doesn't have to worry about it

cooking together (bonus if they're learning a new recipe together)

very appreciative of the others' efforts (even if they fail. almost especially if they fail because at least they attempted for the good of their behalf)

will cover the other if they find them sleeping, and sometimes, will relocate them to a more comfortable location/position.

protective of the others' hopes/dreams/beliefs

stands up to anyone who threatens the other, even if unmatched. How dare someone think they have the right to insult someone so close to them without consequences?

avoids topics in conversation that make the other uncomfortable or irritable when possible.

buys them things that they've noticed has piqued their other's attention or that they might need.

is the "HE SAID NO PICKLES" type of friend/significant other.

takes the time to look into and learn about things that interests the other, even if they don't quite enjoy it to the same degree. Likes to be able to engage with them about anything possible.

lighthearted teasing to make the other smile.

holding the others' sleeves when drowsy, or needy.

makes secret wishes on stars for the others' hopes to come true.

subconsciously straightens the others' attire or accessories. somehow, it became second nature to them.

making the other their "only exception" for just about anything.

letters of appreciation

writes a song/scripture/book inspired by the other

dedicated their achievements to their partnership and expressed their gratitude for their role in their life

might get angry when the other endangers themselves but apologises when they realize it isn't helping. They don't mean to snap. They just scared their soul for a second. Don't do that. They can't bear to see/let it happen.

invited the other to family events, even expects them to show up so makes sure to have enough for them too.

randomly brings the other food to ensure they are properly eating

casually "accidentally" orders things and "happens" to think the other would like them.

crafts the other trinkets or art

patiently hears the other out no matter what. Even if it's hard to hear because they want to fully understand.

Disbelieves rumors that damage the others' reputation and will set the record straight if possible. Will always let the other know if something is brewing and offer a solution (How they go about it is dependent on the character)

sends the other messages whenever they're thinking of them or remembers something they know the other will reminisce with them over.

takes care of the other to the best of their ability (pampering/caretaker/gaurdian)

learns a new language so that they can better communicate with the other if they're not fluent in their tongue.

quick to give the benefit of the doubt to the other, even if they know it might not turn out how they hope. They want to only see the good if they can.

[rebelliousstories]

25 Days of Ficmas 2024

You know the drill!! This year has been a whirlwind for new characters and it was so difficult to narrow down on older characters. But I hope you enjoy this years fics!

Frost (December 1st) Sean Renard

The streets of Portland are covered with slippery ice, and fresh falling snow. What happens when a man and a woman collide?

Coal (December 2nd) Luke Alvez

How do you keep a festive fire going in the winter? With festive flammables of course!

Toys (December 3rd) Bernard the Elf

A simple mistake leads to a welcome change.

Decorating (December 4th) Monroe

How many boxes is too many boxes of decorations?

Snowman (December 5th) Spencer Reid

Snowfall means that Spencer can not go into work today. With the roads closed, what is a girlfriend to do?

Spices (December 6th) Marko

Christmas time brings out a variety of smells that Marko’s human girl is more than happy to introduce him too, and even have him introduce her to some.

Christmas Eats (December 7th) Wade Wilson/ Deadpool

The merc with the mouth knows no bounds when it comes to the wonderful treats at Christmas time.

Tidings (December 8th) Logan Howlett/Wolverine

A snowy night. A warm diner. A hot meal. And a reluctant helper.

Fruitcake (December 9th) David

A simple childhood favorite that reduces lesser minds to fit of giggles.

Cheer (December 10th) Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw

It is his first Christmas alone. Not completely alone, but alone enough.

By Any Other Name (December 11th) Dwayne

There’s a certain charm of learning about different traditions and cultures around the holidays.

Rooftop (December 12th) Donnie Darko

It’s not snowing, and it’s not terribly cold right now. But a quiet night on the roof is much needed to get away from the shenanigans down below.

Vacation (December 13th) Cooper Howard

How do you take your white Christmas; snow or sand?

Family Time (December 14th) Aaron Hotchner

With Jack getting a little bit older, it’s up to super dad to keep the magic alive.

Advent Calendar (December 15th) Nick Burkhardt

Twenty-five days till Christmas. Every day, a new treat.

Vintage (December 16th) Pete “Maverick” Mitchell

No matter how old he gets, there’s something so nostalgic about drinking a coke from a bottle on the beach for the holidays.

Sweet Treats (December 17th) Robert “Bob” Floyd

There’s a new favorite Floyd when the couple comes to the Dagger team potluck.

Sleigh (December 18th) Paul

It’s on one cold night in December that the boys and girls in the cave realize, they need to tell Paul there’s more than one version of sleigh.

Milk and Cookies (December 19th) Jake “Hangman” Seresin

Watching the nieces and nephews, Hangman feels a weird feeling making the cookies for Santa.

Mr. And Mrs. Claus (December 20th) Tom “Iceman” Kazansky

Oh the running joke on the base about the one couple that likes to decorate for the holidays…

Spirit (December 21st) David Loki

Getting Loki into the Christmas spirit is like pulling teeth. But a few days off might change that.

Online Shopping (December 22nd) James “Bucky” Barnes

Trapped in his own home, there’s very little that he can do to express himself, or show that expression to anyone else. But Sergeant Barnes ain’t no quitter; he just has to navigate a new world.

Seasons Greetings (December 23rd) Remy LeBeau/ Gambit

Being so far away from home at the holidays, it was not something that most people could do. But leave it to a Cajun in love with another Cajun to bring home to him.

‘Twas the Night Before… (December 24th) Poly!Lost Boys

Christmas Eve is finally here, and Laddie is being introduced to a Christmas classic whether the boys like it or not.

Oh Christmas Day (December 25th) Sean Renard

There was something magical about spending your first Christmas together, especially after not celebrating for so long.

[itsyina]

101(?)facts about ateez yunho

His name is Jeong Yunho

Born in Gwangju, 23 March 1999

Height 186cm (not really certified)

Palms size 20,8cm (one slap and u r gone)

In ATEEZ he is the MAIN DANCER and vocalist (need to bold that incase people forget)

Was born on International Puppy Days

He is a puppy himself, golden retriever puppy

He likes being cute, he doesn't mind being cute

Jealousy jealousy (him & hongjoong, jealousy duo)

He loves Japan so much, he goes there often

He loves ATINY but I think he loves Abura Soba more

He want to be Abura Soba resto manager

His favorite baseball team is KIA Tigers (the one with ppiki ppiki dance cheerleader)

And he is KIA Tigers' winning fairy, KIA Tigers' fans jokingly want to tie Yunho up on the stadium pole because of that

Have you met Yujin? His alter ego from KBS drama called Imitation

Don't fall in love with Yujin, he is an a*shole (yes I have personal problem)

He likes being praised

Especially when he wear something then fans said he looks good on it

Exhibit A : he wore glasses at one time then atiny said he's very handsome wearing it, he'll wear glasses often after that, he already did

Exhibit B : he shows his hands so much in his photos BECAUSE ATINY LIKES HIS VEINS, we are exposed, aren't we?

Kinda freaky-ahh

I guess he has foot-kink(?), all of those evidences could be proofs (he smelled & slapped san's foot palms(?) and make hongjoong took a feet picture)

He once fell on the subway and his handsome face hit the subway floor first, he got a nose surgery because of it. The reason why he fell is he was sleepy

Rich kid, pay 100k won when he was in highschool for eating meat with Mingi lol

I'm so sorry for saying this but don't let this man draw, just don't

Once he had to draw a person eating custard cream bread and he drew it like that person is eating a p*op😔

Please don't forget zzangmon original drawing too

Got sunburned in LA, poor him

IDK but he like spiderman so much, like... even one time back then when he played game with hongjoong for a variety show, it was a nonsense game like they have to blurt out something nonsense and he said 'you know that I can shoot spider web from my a*shole?' (pls don't ask me members' reaction, that was hilarious and he won the game)

Members called him Snow white coz back then in their trainee days, when yunho opening the practice room window, animals like butterfly or birds suddenly came to him like he is a snow white lol (actually I kinda forget about this one so cmiiw)

A cry baby, he has sensitive heart 🥰

He rarely get angry, which make it more terrifying if he ever got angry (but we all like the angry look on him, aren't we? 😌)

But he is a feel-keeper, he doesn't like people to know what he actually feels, so he tend to keep it by himself

He said he's having a hard time expressing what he feels that's why he didn't talk about it much

His competitive ass won't let him rest

Full-time gamer, part time idol

He play Valorant and rank in Radiant, means he is on the top rank, he is playing like a pro (I hope he stream it someday)

The exact embodiment of "all men do is a lie" because how many live streams he promised to us but never come true 😔

That one live with mingi, dancing live, 99z live, and more

But that's okay! He gave us gift and always try to return fans' love in any form

A devoted catholic

His baptist name is Stefano

When ATEEZ was invited to perform at Coachella, he was very nervous so he seeking comfort in the name of Jesus, he attended a prayer before they perform

He said when he was a child he is also a part of misdinar (I don't know the english 😭 but it's like altar servers? Idk cmiiw about the term)

He wants ATINY to be always happy

The most precious person in this world

[genderfluid-insomniac]

Hii <3 can ı please request the dorm leaders x small breasted reader headcanons you made but with Vil,Idia and Malleus?

Hi anon! I hope you like it!

dorm leaders x small breasted reader headcanons (NSFW)

Vil

He doesn’t care about your breast size and if you’re self conscious than he will suggest to get implants (yes they do exist in this world), but after be scolded thoroughly the housewarden will move on to other options and start complimenting them in private because he’s not going to say anything suggestive in public….He does have a reputation to uphold.

You cannot convince me that this man isn’t a boobs guy, the curve of your breasts and perky nipples does something to him I swear. He’ll quickly go to a bathroom whenever he sees you wearing something that really shows your figure and chest because of the erection tightening in his pants, imagining you bare against his luxurious bed playing with yourself and now he might have to drag you into the bathroom to help him.

He’s one to immediately fix your uniform or if it’s somewhat unbuttoned then button it up right away, it may not be noticeably but Vil isn’t going to take any chances with someone else eyeing up his lover.

Vil will suggest nipple jewelry, sometimes piercings and sometimes just clips, but he has a variety of choices for you to choose from and plenty of praise about how your breasts are just the right size and shape…all for him….just for him.

Idia

This man is even shocked he’s your boyfriend and doesn’t care about what your body looks like or how big your boobs are because he loves every inch of it, stuttering out a compliment when you both are alone and would preferably have you on his lap while he’s playing games.

If you’re insecure about your small breasts and want to get implants then he’ll totally support you and if you don’t then that’s totally cool too. He will have a bright red blush across his cheeks if you talk about it either way since he’s shocked you’re bold enough to bring it up outloud and just wants you to be happy.

His pants tighten whenever he sees you wearing casual clothes that show off your chest or if you’re wearing Ignihyde’s uniform without the tie and the top unbuttoned….excuse him for a moment Idia.exe has just shut down and needs to be restarted (preferably with your help~)

Will absolutely praise your breasts if you ask him but make sure you’re both in private and give him time to speak because he’s very flustered right now.

Malleus

Another dorm leader that doesn’t care about the size and if he could stay all day taking a nap on your breasts he could and would, sighing as he snuggles deeper into your chest And tightens his arms wrapped around your waist. Since he’s already excelling in all of his classes most of the time he’ll ask you to sit next to him or on his lap and when you explain that you can’t since you’re not only in public but in class….he doesn’t get it (cue head tilting like a confused pup but dragon instead).

Will spoil you with gowns and outfits that show off your curves and chest since everyone knows you’re dating Malleus and only someone stupid would dare to flirt with his lover. The fae prince is sad when you tell him to stop buying you clothes so he just moves directly on to gems and pretty rocks, making them into necklaces that sit right on your breast bone.

Malleus has so many fantasies he’d love to reenact and not just in his mind, several of them involve you riding his cock while you sit on his lap and he can just Len you back onto his chest and fondle your boobs for however long he wants. Just let him play with your tits and he’ll be more than satisfied, squeezing and twisting your nipples to get lewd expressions from you.

He can and will cover your entire chest in hickeys/love-bites, even if no one’s going to see he’ll know they’re there and beautifully decorate your breasts.

[narcoleptic-assassin]

Maximus Has C-PTSD

I’m surprised no one else has talked about this yet so I’ll just jump in and give my thoughts. Grabbing a snippet directly from wiki, it reads:

“The diagnosis of PTSD was originally developed for adults who had suffered from a single-event trauma. However, the situation for many children is quite different. Children can suffer chronic trauma such as maltreatment, family violence, dysfunction, or a disruption in attachment to their primary caregiver. In many cases, it is the child's caregiver who causes the trauma. The diagnosis of PTSD does not take into account how the developmental stages of children may affect their symptoms and how trauma can affect a child's development…

“Repeated traumatization during childhood leads to symptoms that differ from those described for PTSD.”

So what is the difference between PTSD and CPTSD? Let’s look at the seven behavioral clusters described.

• Attachment – “problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others' emotional states”

• Biomedical symptoms – “sensory-motor developmental dysfunction, sensory-integration difficulties; increased medical problems or even somatization”

• Affect or emotional regulation – “poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes”

• Elements of dissociation – “amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events”

• Behavioral control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing”

• Cognition – “difficulty regulating attention; problems with a variety of 'executive functions' such as planning, judgment, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring; difficulty processing new information; difficulty focusing and completing tasks; poor object constancy; problems with 'cause-effect' thinking; and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities.”

• Self-concept – “fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”

There are also some similarities to regular ptsd such as reliving traumatic events (although more so in rumative occupation rather than the classic war flashbacks you see in media), insomnia, hypervigilance, and of course depression and anxiety.

People with CPTSD also sometimes have an obsession with their abuser, being preoccupied with thoughts of revenge, or having an idealized or paradoxical gratitude towards them, and acceptance of a perpetrator's belief system or rationalizations.

At a very young age, Maximus lost everything he loved and knew, only then to be snatched up by a fascist organization and revictimized over and over again. He was beaten regularly, by his peers and teachers, constantly derided and humiliated, and given the most menial and disgusting tasks. That’s what we know just looking at the very surface. Who the hell knows what else went on that we the viewers haven’t seen. He’s a perfect candidate for such a disorder.

If that’s not enough for you, let’s go through the above listed behaviors.

Maximus is repeatedly shown to be inexperienced and awkward in social interactions. He either gives too much, or too little, like when he came clean to Thaddeus way too soon, or how he repeatedly lied to Lucy. This also displays his general mistrust. When he saw all the vault 4 dwellers being nice and happy for apparently no reason, this immediately seemed wrong to him, and he labeled it a cult. However, when Birdie gave him a home and food, he latched on to it like a dying man. He craves attachment, longs for it so badly that he falls into this vicious cycle of reaching out, getting hurt, then becoming mistrustful and dishonest. I could write a whole essay on Maximus’ attachment issues, but I’ll move on.

We don’t exactly see any biomedical symptoms with him, but who knows. Maybe there’s something going on internally that we just haven’t seen yet.

With affect and emotional regulation, Maximus has several emotional outbursts during the season, the first when he breaks the toilet after hearing that Dane got promoted and he didn’t, and the second in the very next scene with him during his interrogation. He obviously feels immensely guilty for wishing harm upon his only friend, and panics when asked about it. Whether he did it or not, to him it probably feels like he might as well have just put the razor in the boot himself. Then when Quintus spares his life and even promotes him, he cries in relief and joy. There’s also the other side of this, where he often shows little emotion and remains stoic even when those around him are obviously upset, such as with the fiends on the bridge. He hides behind an expressionless mask, because it’s the most safe, the most neutral option. He was probably punished for expressing himself when he was younger, and now in adulthood, it’s become habit. The only time we see the mask come down, is briefly and usually when he’s alone.

Maximus doesn’t seem to have dissociative symptoms or amnesia, but we know very little of his backstory. At times he may dissociate in response to situations, but that’s a very internal thing, and Max as a character is already quite stoic and aloof. It’s hard to gauge his mental state.

Impulse control is not our guy’s strong suit. He is a slave to his desires as one might say. He almost takes vault 4s fusion core without hesitation until Birdie stops him. When he sees Lucy in trouble he jumps to action (although most people probably would in a similar situation) then attacks the residents almost immediately without stopping for a moment to read the room. He also panics several times and acts quite impulsively. He ripped out the radio in the suit, which with just a little thought he probably would have realized wouldn’t help. (Then again he was probably heavily concussed at this point so you have to give him a break lol) Then when Thaddeus responded negatively to him revealing himself, this immediately sends him into fight or flight mode, and he’s been taught by the Brotherhood to respond to threats with violence.

For cognition, I feel like I could just copy and paste it here again lol. I could go through all the times he’s not thought things through, or done something poorly planned, but come on, you watched the show didn’t you? And this goes right along with impulse control as well. In the class scene, he’s shown not to be a particularly good student, this could be due to a short attention span, or difficulty focusing. Or it could even be due to a lack of object recognition and consistency, which is defined as the ability to recognize an object across varying viewing conditions. These executive dysfunctions are similar to those displayed in ADHD and ASD. There may even be an overall lack of motivation, but as you can see in the first scene with power armor, he shows more knowledge about them than his peers. He’s more than willing to learn about something that interests him, but you’ll know if you have ADHD, it is much harder learning about or doing things you’re not interested in.

Finally, there’s his self image. He goes through most of the show masquerading as someone else entirely, and even says to Lucy at one point that he doesn’t think he’s a good person. He’s ashamed of his own body, thinking that sexual arousal is disgusting, and has shame surrounding those feelings. I think he even blames himself for what happened to Dane because he had intrusive thoughts about it happening, which is why he may have had trouble telling Quintus that he didn’t do it. Maybe he even thought he deserved to be punished.

There’s also his relationship with his abusers. In his mind, there is only one perpetrator, the person who blew up Shady Sands, but in reality there’s two. For the person who destroyed his home, he’s consumed with a vague but obsessive goal of revenge even years later into adulthood. But for the Brotherhood, they are his saviors. He owes them his life, and repeatedly goes back to the memory of stepping out of the fridge and seeing this gleaming suit of armor standing tall among the wreckage of his home. He bought in wholesale to their ideology, taking it literally, even too literally. He betrays his own knight, going over him to stay loyal to the Brotherhood overall. I’ve seen other people mention this, but I don’t remember who now unfortunately. Honestly, I’m so grateful to them because I hadn’t thought of this before.

There is so much more I could say about Max and his symptoms of trauma, but a lot of it is still floating around my head in a messy abstract clutter. This is all I’ve got right now. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk!

[misc-obeyme]

For the prompt event, maybe garden + barbatos? Thank you and i hope you have a nice day! 😊

Hi there, anon!

Soooo I actually really wanted to write a little fic about Barbatos and his garden lol. Ever since I got the daily chat about him having too many vegetables, I'm just imagining him out there in his little butler outfit and some gardening gloves. But I also think he'd use a garden to grow stuff for tea, so I ended up writing about that, too.

Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it!

Thank you for participating!

GN!MC x Barbatos with prompt Garden

Warnings: none!

You listened as you walked beside Barbatos through the vegetable garden he had begun behind the Demon Lord's Castle. He was speaking quite in depth about the differences in varieties of demon cucumber. You had already listened to the detailed explanation on how to raise behemoth pumpkins, so you were content with this slight change in topic.

Barbatos wasn't exactly a talkative demon, so you were more than happy to listen to him even if he was only really lecturing you about vegetables.

Something changed in his demeanor when you reached the herb and tea garden, though. He smiled at you, gesturing to a plant that looked especially healthy.

"This is darkness thyme," he said. "It is difficult to cultivate and thus is somewhat rare."

You didn't even need to get too close to the plant to smell its fragrant aroma. "It looks great," you said. "You really know what you're doing, don't you?"

Barbatos chuckled. "I have taken the time to learn what must be done."

You followed him as he showed you the other plants in this area - most of them were herbs that he used to create his own unique tea blends.

You continued to listen as he finished showing you the last of the plants, all of which were flourishing under his care.

You looked around at the garden, taking in the neat rows of vegetables and herbs. "You really enjoy doing this, don't you?"

Barbatos smiled. "I suppose I do."

He reached out to take your hand, leading you out of the back garden and into a little gazebo that was nearby. He indicated that you should sit down on the bench inside of it.

"Did you ever manage to get Diavolo to eat any of your homemade pickles?" you asked, remembering how Barbatos told you this was his reason for starting the garden to begin with.

Barbatos shook his head. "I'm afraid I have given up on that endeavor for now. I fear the Young Master will never be able to enjoy pickles."

You laughed and shook your head.

Barbatos went to a small table within the gazebo that held several tea things. You weren't surprised he was already prepared to serve you some tea. He gave you a steaming cup with a delicious fragrance.

"This is a blend I made using the herbs in this garden," Barbatos said. "I would like to have your opinion on the flavor."

You sipped the tea. It had a subtle, but sweet flavor that seemed to fill you with comfort. You hummed in appreciation, eyes closed. "I love it," you said.

Your eyes were still closed, but you felt Barbatos move to sit beside you on the bench. "I am happy to hear that, MC," he said. "This particular blend has some special properties."

"Oh? Like what?" you asked. You took another sip, keeping your eyes closed and savoring the flavor.

"The flavor changes depending on your current feelings," Barbatos said.

You finally opened your eyes to look at him. "What does that mean?"

He met your gaze. "If you are angry, the tea will have a spiced flavor. If you are sad, it will taste richer and darker. If you are happy, it will be brighter and more floral."

You frowned. None of those things sounded like what you were tasting. "What if it tastes kind of sweet? More like berries?"

"Oya," Barbatos said, his eyes widening a little before he made his expression neutral again. He smiled softly. "That is what you will taste when you are in love."

You stared at him for a moment, feeling a slight flush come over you. "O-oh," you said. "And… what does it taste like to you?"

You noticed in that moment that Barbatos had not poured himself a cup of the tea. He reached out, cupping your cheek and leaning forward to kiss you. His lips lingered for a long moment before he pulled away.

Barbatos looked into your eyes and said, "It tastes like your love, MC."

You closed your eyes briefly as your insides fluttered, a pleasantly nervous feeling. This was Barbatos's way of telling you how he felt about you - subtly and with tea. It was so him you couldn't help but smile.

You put down your teacup, which was empty by now anyway, and turned to Barbatos. His hand was still on your cheek and you leaned further into his touch before kissing him again. The two of you spent the entire afternoon there in the gazebo by the garden.

the original prompt list

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[roosterforme]

I just want to say that I support Anna and her choices specifically bc they're ones that I wouldn't make. Like I'm always so worried about hurting other people that I rarely express myself or find myself paralyzed by decisions bc I'm too scared to make the wrong one. It's nice to see someone make mistakes and as the audience know that everything is going to be okay. This is a romance and they're the two leads, don't stress so much and relish in the fact that you don't have to be a perfect human to still deserve or earn the love of an incredible guy.

Also it seems like so much of her life up until now has been completely smothered in another man, so if she's distanced herself to feel safe, good for her, she deserves to make choices for herself! And if she caves to her desires and has sex with a man that offers her true affection and care when she's been so starved of it, good for her! She may be married, but like fleeing across the country is a good starting place for her to try and get a divorce and protections from her ex when she's ready, it seems like right now she's still terrified and also completely financially insecure and therefore unable to go through with all of that. I for one, don't feel like blaming a woman who it seems has been significantly abused and mistreated for not making the perfect and ideal decisions when she's only just barely removed herself from a horrible situation. I don't see how so many people are eager to shame Anna for not prioritizing a man in her decisions when she's finally been able to get (through difficulty and uncertainty and self-exile) a shred of agency for herself, a consequence of being able to make your own choices is making the wrong ones and I'm sure once more is explained to him, sweet Bob isn't going to begrudge her that freedom either.

Bob is a grown and fictional man, he will be okay. Does it suck that having sex with Anna didn't magically erase all of her problems and lead to a fairytale wedding immediately? Kind of, yeah, obviously everyone wants them to be happy and in love, but atp that's not realistic, it wouldn't be healthy for her to give up her reservations on a relationship just bc that's what he wants from her either. Besides, the best you can expect to get from dick is an orgasm or two, irl you have to put in work in order to change and grow, the kinds of things that make for the compelling story that we're getting here (for free)

Anyways the way that Emily is writing this is a different take on the female lead than most, her other responses have brought up the interesting point that people don't criticize male characters for doing similar things with less justification for it. Don't complain about there not being more variety in romances just turn around and complain when the variety isn't actually what you wanted. It feels really similar to the hate that I see other creators get for making an OC or reader that's curvy or POC, like fic is escapism, why are you trying to impose the narrow constraints of femininity from the real world onto someone that has the chance to be free of all that? I hope all of these commenters will be more forgiving of their own mistakes than they are with Anna's

Oops, that was a whole essay, anyways love your work, have a good weekend!

Nonny. Say it a little louder, please: you don't have to be a perfect human to still deserve or earn the love of an incredible guy.

God, this is like the best nonny ask ever.

Anna is finally making choices for herself after many years. The next few chapters will really visit her past and show what happened and why it's ongoing.

But I don't even need to add anything else, because you covered so much of how I feel. Thank you for this. Thank you for taking the time to send this to me. I hope I'm not the only one who got something out of it.

[limbuscompanysituations]

🖤 for Sinclair, along with any other dating/lover headcanons for him.

Intimacy would mean freedom of being weak/expressing things that are terribly disconcerting/awkward about himself, but also freedom to express his most violent, fucked up thoughts. This lad has got some... issues... but he needs somebody supportive/accepting enough to realize that he doesn't have to be a golden boy, it's just fine being a flawed human. He doesn't want to feel like he needs to cater to them, or to pretend being somebody he isn't around them.

If he can express his fucked up thoughts and not get any shit for it, then he will love his partner forever. At the same time he doesn't want an enabler, we know very well who in his life was an enabler of terrible things and that's sort of the type of person he doesn't want around. Be accepting, listen to him. Get closer to understanding who he is and his many, many volatile emotions.

When he's comfortable enough with being genuine around his partner, he will start confessing/acting out his fantasies more. He will be more physical with his partner, and a little more dominant in the relationship too. A confident, happy Sinclair is a bolder, more handsy Sinclair too. Of course he will still stop at boundaries and will not push his partner into doing something that is uncomfortable for them. Do enable his freakier fantasies from time to time, within reason. Variety is the spice of life!

[wolfnanaki]

Greetings. During my various interactions with the fandoms of GVH and Snoot Game, a common anti-trans argument I frequently saw was that trans people don't need to change their gender to have expressions incongruent with their assigned gender at birth. i.e. Someone can do traditionally male-oriented things without actually being a man. Therefore, they say being trans is pointless because there is never a reason to change one's gender as anyone of any gender can do anything. Personally I can't really come up with a good retort for this without sounding like I support gender stereotypes, so I want to ask, if it's okay with you: What do you usually say in response to people who say that sort of thing?

It's a silly argument that anti-trans people make, because here's an important question: why are these activities being grouped with genders? Why do certain things need to be forced into binary gender roles?

The "trad" crowd would have you believe that things like sports, breadwinning, fighting, etc. are all things that define masculinity, while femininity is all about being a homemaker, servitude, baking, cleaning, stuff like that. But we know that's all bunk because we see people doing the opposite all the damn time. Women who love boxing and chopping down trees. Men who feel at home at bakeries and teaching.

None of these activities have any bearing on your gender because, despite what conservatives will tell you, they aren't gender-exclusive. The way this gets framed by transphobes is insisting trans men are forcing themselves to do more traditionally manly things to prove their masculinity, and the opposite for trans women.

In this framing, they see transness as a performance. As in, they see it as a fake act done by delusional people trying to be something they're not. It is part of what informs their whole worldview about trans and nonbinary people.

Here's my point, short and sweet. Your activities aren't your gender. Your gender, how you find it, how you come to express it, is all you. You define you for your own self. Sometimes that leads you to changing the way you dress, or taking medications, or changing your pronouns, or other things. But it's your gender and your body. No fucker on the internet has any right to tell you what you are or aren't. And they sure as fuck have no right to tell you what hobbies you should/shouldn't have.

On the topic of Goodbye Volcano High, we can actually talk about a character that fits perfectly into this discussion. Sage is a trans man (assigned female at birth). When he was young and living as a girl, his parents pressured him into acting, presenting, and performing traditionally feminine roles, and he couldn't stand it. But after coming out as a trans man and beginning his social transition, he came to enjoy looking and presenting in a feminine way, now that it was a choice he could make instead of an obligation. And like Fang, he doesn't want to have to perform more "masculine" to prove his gender; he's happy as he is.

Sage does not make sense in the rhetorical world espoused by transphobes. And there are many trans and nonbinary people like Sage too; trans men who like being girly, trans women who like being manly, and nonbinary and genderfluid people who can have a whole variety of gender presentation preferences.

There are as many ways to express gender as there are people in the world.

Anyway, shorter version: gender is a much deeper and personal thing that just the hobbies you do. I hope this helps. 🏳️‍⚧️

Sorry if this ended up being longer than what you're looking for, I just find stuff like gender and gender expression fun to think about!

[fuckitimrowan]

please please say things about “speaking of courage”. it was my favorite chapter in the novel, and

hi anon ABSOLUTELY this was my favourite too. we singled out this short story for my lit class, actually, and it's the reason i ended up reading tttc by myself. (which also means might've taken this ask as a reason to, like, almost analyse it... i'm so sorry.) i had that entire chapter annotated it but lost the print-out :/ BUT i still remember everything i need to. lol.

keeping this under the cut because it got too long lmao:

so. speaking of courage is objectively a fucking masterpiece. to me, it's about exactly what the real norman bowker expressed in his letter for o'brien: that sense of sudden lack of purpose. like, okay. the war's over. we survived. what's next? this? where do we go now? where do we go?

so, norman bowker goes in circles. the circle thing is pretty fantastically done. the story, the structure—it brings you back, and then away, and then all of that just to bring you back again. and then it happens, again, slightly different but it's really just the same.

it's a pleasant day. the lake is in the center of everything. there's nowhere to go and norman bowker is driving. in another world he would've been able to say this or that or would've had someone listen to this or understand that. norman bowker rolls the windows down or turns up his music and takes a turn of his dad's chevy. the world is moving around him and he keeps driving. locked away in this metal box with windows. driving.

on a broad level, that same structure just goes on the entire story. it's so beautifully done. and i believe it's literally the language lending to that too? the lake and town and weather is "smooth" and "flat" and the houses are "handsome" and these descriptors remain the same throughout.

there's this line i really like, about a sprinkler scattering water on a garden. and it's described to be doing it, like: hopelessly. round and round. it's a brief on-the-nose symbolism and i love it.

and there's another layer beneath that all, obviously. with kiowa & the silver star, and really it's the war. and just... peeling away any analysis or whatever right now, the story itself is disgusting if you imagine yourself in there. it's shit. the way it's written just. you think you're brave? could you jump in front of a bullet? could you take this? could you sit and wait? if you've had courage in the hardest of times could you have the type of courage you don't get a say in, at all? could you just be?

that line. "he knew shit. It was his specialty. the smell, in particular, but also the numerous varieties of texture and taste." maybe i'm thinking about this too vividly—but that's objectively horrifying to me. sinking in shit. objectively, you could say that "oh, it's better than facing the threat of being gunned down to death," but... let's be so fucking real. think about it: imagine yourself there.

from an analysis perspective, the ending is what gets me, most of the time. it's such a traditionally happy ending, has all the good symbolism points. gets out of the car, dips his head in the river—which, you know, cleansing, rebirth, all that bullshit (ha)—he watches the fire works for the 4th of july and yeah, it's a nice scene.

and then he says it's a pretty good show. that word pretty changes the entire fucking thing! and he's been doing this throughout, hasn't he? objective comments about the weather -- it's nice -- the town -- it's clean, sanitary -- and that's all he does. he's very carefully detached from the meaning of july 4th, too. the colours of the fireworks are pretty much identical to the colours of the flares from the night kiowa died in that shit field.

in a way, norman sort of died then too. with kiowa. the stupid analysis stuff, cleansing, rebirth, whatever—all of it, but inversed. it wasn't the water, it was the goddamn waste. instead of clean it makes you feel dirty—and norman's feeling of "dirty" means so many things. the guilt of kiowa. the distance from the town, the handsome, neat town who doesn't want the dirty war stories. the general view of the vietnam war. how he's completely clung onto all that this "dirty" means because he's still stuck in the war. my favourite description(s): the place looked as if it had been hit by nerve gas.

i have so much to say about that lake too. there's a really fucking oomph factor about the lake, you know? it's the lake where his old friend died. i wish i could explain this bit properly but god, i dunno, i just feel like there's some sort of parallel between the lake and the shit field. he tastes the water too. they're both described as flat bodies of water. there's something about that scene.

the ending isn't depressing, just because that word's too harsh, but it's... not happy. the way i see it, norman's attempting to achieve what the water is meant to symbolise. cleansing, just trying to wash it off of him again. all that shit. the waste of the war, of his guilt, of—and it leaves him disconnected, because that's a part of him and the only way to get rid of it is cutting it off. he doesn't talk about it, doesn't have anyone to talk to. it's not that he doesn't want to talk about it—he desperately wants to, so much that it genuinely breaks my heart. "want to hear about the silver star i almost won?" he whispers it at one point: the more times i read that, the more i feel his quiet anguish. he shouldn't have to be so disconnected, but he is because they don't want to listen. the place could only blink and shrug.

anyway i just think there's so much to take away from this story in particular. yeah, if you analyse it in that classroom style there's the repetition, that lost quality, the idea of being unable to speak. but more importantly there's the gross reality of it -- it was a shit field and he lost his friend and no one wants to hear about it. because it's shit and that's not what we want to hear of war. because norman wasn't able to save him and where's the good ending to that? we want to hear nothing about war that is war, really.

my thoughts on this will never end btw. there is so much more i have that is unsaid. there's just so many angles to this story -- on a literal sense, as a standalone, connected to the rest of the novel,

and it isn't norman's fault he can't speak. because since this isn't a pretty story, since there isn't a moral or point to it, there's just no one who'll fucking listen.

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

Gundam: The Witch from Mercury Season 2 Episode 4 Review

- So much happened in this episode and so there will be a lot of talking in this review. Most of it will be fawning over the characters cause there was so many amazing moments with a wide variety of them.

- Secelia and Rouji continue to be trapped inside the dueling committee room. The interactions between these two are so sweet. When Secelia asks if Rouji is leaving, he throws the question back at her, implying that he won’t leave as long as she stays. It’s also great to see Secelia so dedicated to her duty. She spent most of the first season just hanging around but now she’s really taking up the mantle to support the other kids

- Shaddiq continues to be a total loser. I hope to god he loses the election. His harem also continues to just blindly follow them. Even Sabina, who tries to paint herself as an equal to Shaddiq, is just another follower at the end of the day. There’s looking to make the world a better place, and then there’s getting 12 innocent students killed in a terrorist attack that only worsened relations between Earth and space.

- Nika is a precious bean. She refuses to take the easy route of just giving into a higher power. She wants to do things herself, her way, which means no undue suffering upon others. She refuses to be a victim or victimize anyone, unlike Belmeria

- Now, I’ve been a staunch supporter of Belmeria from the beginning, I thought she was just a poor woman forced into helping the enhanced children. However, knowing that she was the one who created them in the first place and caused their suffering really changed my mind. As El5n said perfectly in this episode, she just wanted to save herself, and now that she’s being forced to confront the horror of her actions, she just cowers and tries to shift the blame. Her helping the Earth House group seems to be her trying to seek atonement, but that doesn’t work when there are still people being actively hurt by her actions, like El5n and all the other kids who are being experimented on to replace him

- Really interested in that two second scene with Felsi. Her looking at the destroyed Dilanza with a resolute expression has got me intrigued, especially since the voice over from Secelia makes it seem like she’ll be vying for the Holder title. If not, then I want her to become a friend to Earth House. My FelChu shipping will not cease. I hope she doesn’t do anything too drastic. Especially now that Guel is back

- Poor Lauda. Dude has head trauma and is still being forced to work just to keep the Jeturk family afloat. Him passing out after seeing Guel really shows just how much stress he was under. He didn’t have any time to grieve his father’s death and was left wonder where his brother was, all while dealing with accusations that Jeturk was responsible for the terrorist attack. He desperately needs a rest and a happy ending

- Petra is such a sweetie. She’s staying by Lauda’s side and helping him with work despite just being a mechanic. She’s changed from just being a schoolyard bully. She’s resolutely helping the person she loves. And now Guel left her in charge of Lauda for real.

- Speaking of Guel. THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN! The true wild card has made his appearance and he’ll be fucking up all of Shaddiq and Prospera’s plans, but how? Will he run in the election and finally get a W? Or is he going to become the scapegoat? His words to Petra seem to imply that. Will he take on all the responsibility of the terrorist attacks to clear Lauda and the rest of the Jeturk family? After all, he now has connections to Dawn of Fold through Olcott. God, I just want him to be happy. He’s stepping onto a corporate battlefield, but hopefully his sudden appearance will shake up everything

- El5n, my baby girl, I’m crying at what he’s going through. Seeing the large amount of people saying that the scene with him and Eri was satisfying honestly makes me mad. He’s probably the character that’s suffering the most, because he has no one. No one is on his side. All everyone’s ever done to him is torture him. And the one person who would be able to understand him, El4n, is dead, not even a force ghost like Eri. He’s outright threatened with murder and all he can do is smile and pretend everything’s all right. The fact that after experiencing such a horrible violation of his mind, he snaps back to his happy personality in front of Belmeria is tragic. It’s only when she starts playing the victim that he finally snaps and beats her ass, letting out the anger and suffering that’s been building inside him for years. He was tortured, experimented on, and then robbed of his very existence. He’s forced to act nice when all he really wants is to punch the fuck out of everyone. He carries the same hatred and resentment Norea has, but unlike her, he can’t act on it. There’s nowhere for it to go but inside. He needs help.

- Earth House is the best group of people I’ve ever met, and I want Prospera to keep her dirty fucking hands away from them or I’ll give her another bionic arm. Chuchu is righteously worried and angry about what happened, and wants Nika’s name cleared, but she also won’t rush in blindly. She trusts Miorine to do the right thing. Martin is finally standing up as leader, ready to protect his group from harm. The latest attacks have shown him that he needs to become a leader. And finally, my boy Till is the number one SuleMio shipper and I love him. He pushes Suletta to act all without saying a word. I hope he continues to support her, as his quiet and non confrontational can help Suletta reach an answer by herself.

- That greenhouse is the destroyer of relationships. No love can be found amongst the tomatoes. But the fact that Miorine cut off Shaddiq’s unripe tomato but works to keep Suletta’s is so sweet. She truly loves her and wants nothing but the best. Before Suletta came, she had only been fighting for herself, but now she’s fighting for Suletta, GUND-ARM, and everyone’s futures. I can only hope we see a bountiful harvest

- Suletta needs a cult deprogrammer stat. She’s willing to give up her own wants and dreams for her mother. To Suletta, her mom is always doing good so if she tells her to kill or stop something, it’s obviously because that’s the right thing to do. Much like Elan, she’s lost her identity and is meant to act as a replacement. A replacement for the daughter Prospera lost.

- Eri is stuck in that Gundam, waiting to be freed. The only company she has is the many clones of herself and Suletta whenever she gets in the pilot seat. But once she hits Permet 8, she’ll be able to escape into space, or she’ll take over Suletta’s body. The ending is suddenly even more haunting. The loss of Suletta’s hairband perhaps signifies her transforming into Eri. Eri’s line to El5n that he can’t come in may be because he isn’t the vessel she’s looking for.

- Prospera is a terrifying woman. Once she realizes her bullshit doesn’t work on Miorine, she immediately flips the script and starts blaming Miorine and her father. And while yes Delling is an evil asshat, Miorine is entirely blameless, just like Suletta. But Prospera doesn’t see it that way. For her, everything is cyclical. As long as the blood of Delling runs through her veins, then Miorine is just as guilty as he is. The PTSD and survivor’s guilt she’s suffering from is pushing her into committing atrocities. She’s cut herself off from every emotional attachment but Eri. She’s a tragic person, lost in her grief, but that’s doesn’t excuse the actions she’s taken. She an adult. A grown woman who can make her own decisions, and she chose to hurt innocent people. Prospera deserves sympathy, but nothing more.

I don’t think I’m ready for next episode. There are so many moving pieces and each one affects the other. I’m hoping my boy Guel can clinch the win over Shaddiq and Prospera, but that still won’t help Miorine, Suletta, or El5n. These children should have received nothing but unconditional love but each one has been forced into the cruel world of adults. I can only hope they make it out safely.

[hotluncheddie]

20 Questions For Writers!

Tagged by @puppy-steve, @scoops-aboy86 and @steviewashere ty ty !!! :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

40!!!

2. What's your total AO3 word count

78,658 which is honestly insane to me - it still feels unbelievable when I write like 1000 words comfortably.

(For a long time writing was something I could do but had to do, never wanted to do or enjoyed. So, I never ever imagined it being my main hobby - I honestly get insecure that everything I write is so short, especially compared to how people seem to bang out 10,000w like it's nothing)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Steddie!!!!! so Stranger Things

And I have dabbled in Fargo for Gator Tillman :) Pillow

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Tiny Green Shorts 

Seasons change, but people don't. 

Stimming

Wherever you go, thats where I am.

unmasking 

(Two old ones but the fact that both autistic Steve fic's are on there makes me SO happy!!)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yesssssssss but sometimes I really don't know what to say other than 'thank you' - which feels lame, but I love comments so I always answer

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's more of a drabble but maybe thats when boys kiss ? I wrote it with the idea of the end being hopeful, but I had a couple comments and it's very easy to read it in a more angsty way - basically if you read it with Eddie dying like canon, then it becomes pretty sad

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uh - all of them

But gonna go with Softly just because the whole thing is super soft - ooey gooey horny daddy kink my kryptonite

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nah

One day I probably will however - my first cyber bully :]

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

YA!! - all kinda - lots of freak kinks in this house - and a lot of love

I just think d/s is fun, you can play with so many kinks within the dynamic and its just cool and hot. And then you add established relationship on top, so like, that knowledge and love and like just being into stuff because your partner is - so good!

I explored a lot of kinks in my SubEddieWeek and definitely want to do more - need to write some sub Steve!

10. Do you write crossovers?

No but I do have notes for a Gator Tillman / Steddie fic so might write that at some point...

And have been dabbling with my lovely 🐶anon in some Gator Tillman / Kurt Kunkle ideas - as silly as that is lol - it's fun! - dunno if it'll ever turn into a fic though

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Don't think so!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Don't think so! But would not be against it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Ye kinda!!! me and @scoops-aboy86 have our Office AU series :)

Oh and the Milk fic here on tumblr heheh - its a classic

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Steddie!!!!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you will?

Ugh my "Steve has known he’s bi for years and is more knowledgeable than Eddie. Eddie is queer in a kinda vague nebulous way and it stresses him out sometimes. Bruce Springsteen born in the USA album. Coming of age, dealing with change."

I love it and I do want to write more of it but it just doesn't have the sauce yet - haven't quite figured it all out. What's it's purpose you know? Or figured out how to use that album effectively for like, themes and stuff

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uh well, right in this moment NOTHING bc I feel EMO and I'm too TIRED to write ANYTHING...

But I am happy with the sentence structure in my autistic Steve fic's - I tried to use very short and very long sentences to help express his thought processes when he's in different emotional states, and think I did it, effectively ?

Also I sometimes write stuff only bc I think it's funny - idk if it's funny for anyone else but I guess it means I have a lot of variety in my content... and silliness... which is good... (?)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Never knowing how much information to give. Sometimes i like to keep is sparse to keep the vibe going, like the tension or emotion. But sometimes I think I miss out on key descriptions and added context without noticing. Loosing more information about place and sometimes key movement and descriptions of the characters. What I lack is ✨world building✨

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I only speak little baby English so probably wouldn't do it personally - I have, like, nothing against it though?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

This one!!!!!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

hmmmmmm... I'm gonna go with three just because I wrote them all pretty recently and think they show some improvement, like I was able to express what i wanted in them. So;

Hug - Autistic Eddie my love - I like the pacing a the structure in this, I think I maybe do actually do some world building here, which gives nice context to this Eddie and where he is mentally in the moment of his meltdown.

Love in a safety pin - I think it's one of my favourite feedist kink fic's that I've written, just because I think it's a good mix of the kink and their developing relationship. Like it's not all just horny, there's plot and character development, along with being hot. Like, I think it does a good job of showing what the kink can be, because it maybe gets a bad rap. It's a lot of different things, and it's hot when its pleasurable for both parties, and it's still just people with the same emotions as any other kinks, still pining, still insecurity... ya idk :)

Bi Freak - I just really wanted to do a good degradation kink, like some straight masochism you know? And I think I did an okay job. Also this is a dom Steve that I think is very actually fitting for the character but I haven't really read before, so, I wanted to explore that too.

-

Not gonna tag bc I don't have the capacity too right now but i'm seriously not joking if you want to do this - here, you're tagged.

Tag me and I WILL shout in the comments about it

[tanya-shiza]

DSDF Charapters // Different Scales in the Demonic Fish (Original Work)

I promised to post the second huge post and here it is! Enjoy! 😋

⚠️Disclaimer⚠️

Mention of discomforting topics, abuse, fatshaming, sexual violence, world domination(dictatorship bordering on obsessive faith).

All countries in this post are just stereotypical copies. I don't strive for realism. Only clichés and stereotypes.

Brief description of the idea:

An evil corporation kidnaps a scientist to recruit him into a willing slave. However, during the brainwashing, something goes wrong and the secretary hesitates. The kidnapped scientist is happy he was kidnapped and confess that he actually always dreamed of being hired to work for this evil corporation. The secretary takes a liking to the scientist and manages to convince the Leaders that the scientist is obedient enough and doesn't need to be brainwashed. The Leaders allows it and this becomes the beginning of the return of memory to the secretary...

The main character is the scientist, but the main action takes place with the secretary, who falls in love with the scientist and gradually regains his memory of his past life. This, of course, makes the leaders of the corporation angry and they are trying to prevent the main characters from being together. The senior Leader threatens the secretary, and the junior Leader bullies the scientist.

About Sea Serpents:

Sea Serpents are an evil corporation founded in Japan by two Ikuchi(long sticky fish snakes) demons. Nagai Sakana controls the most cruel and largest part of the company, and Aoi Sakana controls the part that has direct control over Japan.

The influence of the evil corporation extends to the whole world. Agents work in a wide variety of fields, including government agencies in many countries. 20 years ago, during the crisis in the USSR, Sea Serpents provided support and began close cooperation with the authorities of the USSR and their military forces. The slogan has spread in the country that Sea Serpents are friends and can be trusted. Most people believed that.

The USSR is not the only country to which the Sea Serpents provided support in order to introduce their agents into the government. But we are interested in the USSR, because Andrey is from there. Besides, the USSR is big. And the Cold War...

Main protagonists:

Andrey - Code: F-1678

29 year old, short, chubby man. Came to Japan from the USSR at the age of 22. Scientist in the field of robotic technology.

Andrey's family believed the propaganda. His father got a great job! The family's well-being has improved, but when Andrey was 4 years old, his father mysteriously died. The mother and the rest of the family started express strong doubts about the Sea Serpents, but this doesn't convince Andrey. Deceived by propaganda, he moved to Japan when he turned 22, to increase his chances of getting hired.

Hengry - Code: L-808

32 years old, tall, strong man. Doesn't remember his past life and real name. Works as Nagai Sakana's secretary.

Henry is not the real name of L-808. When Andrey asked what the real name of the secretary is, L-808 suggested that the scientist come up with one that he would like. And Andrey liked the name Henry.

He was incredibly surprised that Andrey dreamed of working for Sea Serpents all his life, because most people cries and resist, showing strong unwillingness to become slave.

Main antagonists:

Aoi Sakana — Ikuchi

BITCH— I mean, sassy, narcissistic abuser who sees humans only as his toys and test subjects. He is bulling Andrey for being chubby. (the real antagonist 😡 Andrey is pretty man 💞)

He flirts with Henry, but L-808 doesn't reciprocate... some sexual violence occurs 😭

Nagai Sakana — Ikuchi

A cruel, merciless fish-snake yokai(demon). The eldest of two brothers (hi, Aoi Sakana). Represents the role of the Leader in Sea Serpents, but allows Aoi Sakana too much to do, causing the lines between Kumichō (The founder) and Sosāi (The second head after the founder) to blur. Aoi Sakana has more influence on the Japan, but not global world.

Inspired by:

HYDRA - Marvel. But I've never read a single comic book, I've never watched any movie, and I only found out about this company thanks to an AI bot. I read the information about it on funwiki, and I liked it so much that I created something separate, simplified, but still similar.

[neon-moon-beam]

I've seen these things widely disliked in Pokemon games from SwSh onwards, and I'm hoping they'll be taken into account in the future (spoilers for SV and their DLCs):

Nobody is a fan of long intros, excessive tutorials, hand-holding throughout the intro and at other parts of the game, etc (though I haven't played SM or USUM, I've heard these games have it fairly bad too). SwSh at least allows you to skip the catching tutorial if you already have caught a Pokemon by the time Leon goes to show you, but this did not return later. Excessively long intros and tutorials can make a game hard to get into, and it's worse for returning players unless the mechanics have drastically changed. Hand-holding makes the player feel like they're playing little more than a playable cutscene.

Time travel just...isn't a good idea if it's not leading to anything. PLA didn't even resolve its time travel plotline, let alone explain how Ingo got there. SV left so many details about the time machine up in the air. And just what was the Pokemon that attacked Mabostiff? Arven would have accused Koraidon/Miraidon of doing so if the more aggressive one had done it since he doesn't know there's a second one, and you'd think he'd react to a paradox Pokemon of the same species on the way down to the Zero Lab, but he doesn't. We're just left to theorize. If a serious plot point isn't going to conclude, it's probably best not to do it at all. Being left to guess, theorize, hope for answers later, or get answers in supplementary material stops being fun fast, if it's fun at all. Time travel as a plot point just seems to cause more problems than create an interesting story.

So many people are not happy that the player was forced to lie to Kieran for the sake of the plot. You can argue that yes, Kieran's grandfather asked the player and Carmine not to tell him the truth yet, and the player, not being a member of the family, had no right to mess with what was technically not their business. However, it just doesn't sit well with so many people, especially because we're supposed to be befriending Kieran, and in the end it's something that took a lot of players out of the story. It may have been the most forced plot point of SV.

A lot of people are disappointed that at the end of the base game of SV, we weren't allowed to hug Arven, or otherwise comfort him in some way. The guy just found out that his estranged parent has been dead for years and had to meet the AI that's been impersonating his parent since then. And all this after nearly losing his Mabostiff. Instead of being able to comfort our friend in his time of need and newfound trauma, we instead decide to take a long, back road back to school like that just makes everything better. Doesn't make one feel like a good friend.

People were looking forward to Secret Bases in BDSP until they found out that instead of having a variety of decor to use as we did in DPPt, we instead got a bunch of statues. People were also hoping to decorate the dorm rooms in SV. The closest we got was changing the decor theme and music in the BB League club room, but even then the options were very limited. People enjoy being able to make a space their own, as well as being able to show it to others.

The school uniforms in SV were...not well liked. After a few games with many options for clothing, being forced into a uniform wasn't fun. The uniforms were often hard to coordinate with (particularly the Naranja Academy outfit) and even the jinbei and BB Academy uniforms often stifled creative expression. A lot of people were not happy about the complete lack of skirts and dresses in SV. Apparently this may have been due to them not wanting to upskirt people on Koraidon/Miraidon, but in SwSh all the skirts have modesty shorts built in. Not sure why, other than time constraints, this couldn't be implemented for SV.

There's probably a lot more, but this is what I've seen and heard a lot in my experience.