#He has never displayed a normal reaction to anything like who actively trains their would be murder? my brother in christ get a therapist

[kacievvbbbb]

You do get the sense that Mihawk is a man that has never been normal about a single thing, a day in his life.

He either underreacts or overreacts, Things either don't affect him or obsess him there is no in between. There is only the russian roulette of which option you get.

And unless you're a certain red head or cotton candy haired child, neither option spells anything great for your general well being or the integrity of your ship...

[canon-fcdder]

Being seen without his mouth covered at the very least was not a sight very many were treated to, Atticus not one to enjoy when attention was drawn to him. His fellow team star leaders were of the few exceptions to this typically tried and true fact, but even still none of them had ever noticed that Atticus had a tongue piercing, or at least they'd never commented on it. He never really thought much of it, often forgetting it himself. It wasn't a big deal to him, and he simply assumed that the rest of those who might have seen it thought the same if they had noticed it. Seated at Ortega's desk, that piercing was on full display where Atticus stuck his tongue out in concentration as he mended his fellow leader's clothes that had been torn in a battle. - ✧ ˖ ˙ 「 @world-of-stones-and-colors 」 ˙ ˖ ✧

「 ☆ 」 When their garment was ripped, Ortega had been pissed displeased, to say the least. Naturally, the first thing they did was take the torn jacket to Atticus… Okay, the first thing they did was complain about it. But THEN once the frustration was out of their system— … they proceeded to complain even more to Atti while showing him the damage. But now they’ve exhausted themself and the air has faded into a companionable silence. For two people with a habit of breaking the quiet— people usually assuming the eccentric males must really enjoy the sound of their own voices —they’re surprisingly-capable of sinking into it as well.

Elbow propped on a desk and cheek resting upon their fist, eyes are fixated upon Atticus as he works. Gazing upon the surprisingly-soothing sight, Ortega internally marvels at how deftly the task is done. Whenever Atti mends clothes, the stitches are near-invisible. Garments appearing as if they had never been damaged at all. Ortega feels confident in saying Atti is one of— if not THE —most talented person they’ve witnessed when it comes to the art of clothing… When it comes to many things, now that they spare a moment to mull it over.

Might as well, since they aren’t doing anything else right now.

Lost in thought about Atticus’s many impressive attributes, they’re hit with an odd mix of admiration and… inadequacy. Normally when feeling inferior to others, there’s more irritation than infatuation endearment. Yet another mark in Atticus’s favor, they suppose. Managing to stay on the Fae’s good side even when running circles around them. Before Ortega can flow any further down this river of thought, they’re caught off-guard by something they’ve NEVER noticed about Atti before. Eyes widen and head lifts, lips slightly parting with a question they nearly spout without thinking. Thankfully, they stop themselves before they can embarrassingly ask how long Atti had a tongue piercing and blatantly out themself for not knowing.

Obvious as it may be if Atti happened to notice their reaction. Instead, Ortega hastily composes themself with a trained intake of breath and forced ❛ relaxation ❜ of their posture. Leisurely pointing at Atti's mouth with a lazy finger, head cocks to the side like their beloved Daschbun as they inquire, ❝ Hey— Why do you have that? ❞ Sticking out their own tongue, gloved finger lightly taps against it to ensure Atti understands what they're asking about, before they continue. ❝ You hardly ever show your mouth, so it's not like anyone has a chance to see it. ❞

Why go through the trouble of adding an adornment when one isn't going to show it off? Not only that, but actively HIDE it... Heck, Ortega is pretty sure Atticus never even saw fit to mention it before. As if it doesn't make any difference whether he has a tongue piercing or not. So- ... Why bother? What possessed him to even want to get it in the first place if it would be shunned so completely. ❝ So- what's the point? ❞ Ortega asks, resting their crossed arms on the desk so they can lean a bit closer. 「 ☆ 」

[therealvinelle]

Hey,

What do you think the impact of being brought up as vegan would be on a vampire? I mean if you’re non vegetarian then it stands to reason that killing for food is normal (and humans are food for vampires) but if you’re raised to believe killing animals for sustenance to be a sin would that affect you when you turn? It doesn’t seem very likely with the way vampires act in Twilight where it seems empathy, for humans specifically, was just lost during transition (Carlisle seems to be an exception), but maybe it would?

I’m the person who asked the vegan thing.

I just realized that being raised vegan means that food was food to you so it really wouldn’t affect your diet much as a vampire. Humans were not acceptable to for both vegans and non-vegans but they both would probably end up eating them anyways as a vampire.

But what about people who changed from eating meat to abstaining because they grew up eating it and somewhere along the way realized that they were killing for it and decided to stop. In this case, the family and friends of this person were okay with meat but they decided to stop for the animals’ sake instead of a social norm. Would this kind of person be more likely to go for the vegetarian vampire diet because of their card for humans as well? How much of their personality would remain that they could still care about humans?

This here touches upon why Twilight vampires eat people in the first place.

Before I get into that, though, I feel I should point out that what people eat a is not so easily divided morally as vegans = recognize life has worth, vs. omnivores = don’t. Factors such as culture, income, class, social environment, education, health, politics, and priorities all play a part. There’s a reason why your average young and urban female college student is much more likely to be vegan than a rural male seventy-year-old factory worker, and it has nothing to do with an inherent sense of morality. Even then, someone could become a vegan for reasons that have nothing to do with animal welfare, such as protecting the planet, a special diet, or sustaining a superiority complex (this last category will of course never admit that that’s the real reason and you should unfriend them on facebook if you don’t want your timeline to be filled with guilt-tripping photos of smoking factory pipes and sad-looking cows).

But you weren’t asking about that, you were asking about vampires.

So, when a vampire wakes up, they are faced with this unbearable thirst. It’s different for everyone, or at least they describe it differently, but the whole point of this thirst is that it’s strong enough that you have to actively hold yourself back, at great pains, to keep from killing people over it. Some vampires, when especially hungry (newborn Carlisle when a herd of deer ran by) or confronted with a particularly delicious scent (Emmet when he met his singers) or just when caught off guard (Jasper at Bella’s birthday party), appear to lose their senses altogether.

Choice doesn’t really factor in it, not when you’re a newborn, and not really later on either.

Even if it did, we know that creating a vampire requires tremendous effort. There are two vampires I know of that were accidents, Carlisle and Garret. The vast majority of vampires were created as a conscious decision, and even if they weren’t, the Volturi have a law that Thou shalt not abandon thy newborn. And so this paragraph finally gets to its point: most newborns wake up with their creators nearby. And their creator will take them hunting, at a time when they’re not yet able to resist.

And so you have these people who wake up in completely new and foreign circumstances, their bodies not their own any longer, with this unbearable, constant pain in their throats they can’t escape. They can’t sleep, they can’t eat something else, they can’t tune it out with drugs. There is no reprieve. And yes, it does get better - but in those first few fateful months, they’re pretty much forced to kill people.

Carlisle was the exception, and while I don’t wish to lessen the incredible willpower and humanity he displayed when he resisted his thirst, he was in a unique situation that allowed it. His creator wasn’t there to force him to feed, he already knew what vampires were and as such was repulsed by his own nature, and he was sequestered away in a potato cellar, and therefore not in immediate proximity to humans. What he did was still incredible, but the circumstances allowed him to do it in the first place. Every other man-eating vampire in canon was not so lucky.

My point being, for newborn vampires eating people can’t really be called a choice.

Even as vampires learn control, I imagine the choice to continue eating people is a mix of several factors. In bullet points:

Sunk cost fallacy They’ve already eaten so many humans, why stop now? If there’s a heaven or a hell, they know which one they’re going to. Might as well get a good ride.

Humans aren’t people Vampires in Twilight are dismissive of humans more often than they’re not, often expressing surprise, incomprehension, or disgust at Edward falling for one. And I see why they would: it’s a coping mechanism, for starters, to stop seeing the people you’re tearing apart on a weekly basis as someone with thoughts and feelings. It’d be hard not to, when every interaction with a human is spent having to actively fight the urge to eat them. Men struggle enough with seeing women as people because we have boobs, vampires are the extreme version of that. More, a vampire’s human memories are fading, and what they do remember was so blurry and dull. With the sharpened and enhanced nature of the vampire, being endowed with vampirism will seem like more. Which makes humans less. (Relevant meta)

Blood is hard to resist The thirst is a huge problem. Even as vampires get better at controlling themselves, few of them seem to be particularly good at it. Keep in mind that the Cullens are all training to get to Carlisle’s level, they’re not representative of your average vampire. Most will fail when trying to create a new vampire, and they all balk at Carlisle being unbothered by blood.

Blood tastes amazing Siobhan’s reaction when she learns Carlisle has created a vampire of his own is, verbatim, “how tragic - to be deprived of the greatest joy in life.” (Midnight Sun, page I’m-not-sure) And I can’t blame her for it - blood puts out the fire in her throat, and is the single greatest pleasure in the world. Jasper, Emmet, and Rosalie all agree that it’s the thing a vampire craves more than anything. And living a meandering life where there are no milestones, no community, no home, no deeper meaning to anything, the intense pleasure of drinking human blood becomes the only constant and the only thing they have to truly live for and enjoy.

Then you have the fact that most of them have no idea that animals are an option. By the time they find out there’s a door number two, they’ve successfully dehumanized humans, have nothing else in life and the sunk cost fallacy is sky high. More, Carlisle is a crazy monk asking them to forgo their reason for living to go eat dishwater and be malnourished instead, all so that the mayfly humans can go die of consumption instead. I can see why they said “...no?”.

So, yes, Twilight vampires are terrifying demons who turn into psychopaths. But I can’t in good consciousness hate them for it, because they don’t really get a choice in the matter. Their very nature is designed specifically to turn them into this. Carlisle is a freak who makes everyone else look bad.

In other words, vegans are just as susceptible as others to becoming serial killers. If anything, vegans would eat those filthy meat-eaters to save the planet.

[shortracha]

rattled: a valentine’s day shake

a/n: sorta surprise! hehe i had so much fun writing this!! thank you @harrysgoldenbum​ for being my lovely beta and an all around gem! @soullikestyles​ , this is for you for loving these two as much as i do <3

summary: audrey gives harry his present early, and harry absolutely loses his mind (not really) 

warnings: cursing? a single spanish word? i think that’s about it. again, this is shmoopy fluff.

word count: 1.6k

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

If someone were to ask Audrey what her favorite item of clothing was, she would, without a doubt, tell them it’s her maternity sweats she found at TJ Maxx. They were $5, and a bit big when she bought them, but she’s never looked back. Harry’s bought her several pairs that are similar, but they don’t compare to that pair. 

This morning, she finds herself sprawled across the bed in her favorite pair of sweats. With a snack bowl in hand, she watches the baby kick at her. Harry and Audrey are sharing a quiet morning to themselves before Harry has to go attend to some major work details this afternoon. Should be back for dinner, but it’s just not the same. He leaves for a week tomorrow as well, so they’re trying to make the most of the little bit of time they have.  

The window is cracked, the birds are chirping, and the air smells wet like it just rained. To Audrey, it’s the perfect type of morning.

“Look at her, she’s so active this morning.” Not even born yet, she’s already left awestruck by her little girl who’s showing her parents that she’s here and kickin’. Quite literally. Audrey likes to think that it means her baby is already strong, she clings to that thought. But also, damn does it hurt. Not every kick, but her belly starts to feel sore in the mornings when the baby does her thing.

“Yeah, she’s beating you up pretty good today.” Harry’s response is almost instant. He looks up from his book and places a hand on Audrey’s belly, waiting to feel his baby girl kick again. When she does, he smiles and offers his babygirl a quick, “Good morning to you too, little peach.” And returns to his book. 

Audrey tosses a grape into the air and manages to catch it in her mouth on the first try. She throws her arms up in celebration, and Harry high-fives her without looking up from his book. He does chuckle to himself, but it’s unknown if he is amused from the book he is reading or the actions of his fiancée.

“But, can you do it three times in a row?” He carefully places a bookmark on his current page and closes the cover. He reaches across Audrey’s lap, attempts to grab a few grapes. She smacks his hand away and scolds him with a quick, “¡Déjalo! It’s mine!” before scooting the bowl further from him, almost to the edge of the bed. He rubs his hand and pouts.

“Um, ow!” He exclaims dramatically. 

Harry crawls over her, grabs a handful of grapes, just to bother her, and wiggles into a more upright seating position. Back to the headboard, he tosses two up and catches them both in his mouth one after the other.

Audrey rolls her eyes, “Showoff,” she mutters with disdain.  

“I’m a showoff? Do you really want to play this game?” He laughs, incredulous. 

“Whatever,” She waves him off. As weird as it may seem, it’s moments like these that Audrey enjoys the most. It's the little things for her. She tends to remember them more, compared to others. It’s not always easy, but the little moments she gets to spend feeling normal with her best friend are ones she’ll treasure forever. 

“Help me down? I gotta pee.”

Harry hops down from his side of the bed and walks around, grabbing her hands and holding her steady as she scoots her way off the bed.

She shuffles into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door as she beelines it for the toilet. 

“Uh, baby, could you close the door, maybe?” Harry’s question is more rhetorical in nature. He knows she’s not going to get back up to close the door. 

Since Audrey got pregnant, she’s become a lot less...private about a lot of things. She was never one to really care too much about the things some people would feel embarrassed about, but things took on a whole different level after she found out about the baby. 

“No, it’s fine.”

“But I can..hear everything.” He laughs on the last word, in disbelief at just how comfortable she seems to be around him. It’s a good thing, to be sure. She just shows it in odd ways.

A few minutes go by, Audrey does her business and begins her exit from the bathroom. 

“Hey, babe, would you mind if I gave you your present early?” Audrey calls out from the bathroom, but she’s not really looking for an answer. She’s already grabbed the small box from the linen closet on her way out and is approaching him, doing her best to hide it behind her back. Unfortunately, she fails.

“Well, I don’t have much choice, do I?” 

Harry’s not one to say no to presents, but they had agreed to wait until he got back from his trip. However, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t excited for the gift exchange.

“Don’t make it sound like it’s so terrible that you’re getting a gift, H.”

“‘M not ungrateful, if that’s what you’re implying.” He pretends to be offended, clutching his chest and an exaggerated gasp leaves his mouth. 

“It is.” He rolls his eyes at her response, Audrey just giggles. 

“Well, are you gonna give me my present, or am I meant to guess what it is first?”

She sets the box on the bed, lifts herself back onto it and slides next to him. Her nerves are bubbling, making her restless. Now, Audrey knows that Harry will be happy with whatever the gift is, but it still intimidates her, when it comes to giving a gift to her loved ones. But this particular gift has her feeling vulnerable and slightly uncertain.

“Here you go, sport.” 

“Don’t ever call me that again.” Harry demands. Instead of responding, she presses a gentle kiss to his cheek and taps the box. 

“Just open it,” he smiles and shifts to sit directly in front of him, eager to watch his reaction. 

“Okay, okay..” Harry trails off, losing his train of thought while he unties the bowtie on top of  the rectangular box. Setting the lid aside, he lifts a small leather photo album out of the box and Audrey’s heart begins to pound in her chest. 

“What’s this?” He asks with such a gentle voice, it’s barely above a whisper. He doesn’t wait for an answer, though, and opens the album to the first page of 12.

Inside, is a picture of Audrey sat on her knees in a black bra and panties, baby bump on full display. He sits there, carefully examining the photo, expression completely unreadable. Audrey has absolutely no idea how he feels. It’s terrifying. 

He takes the time to examine every photo He takes in every detail from each HD shot of Audrey in sexy position or another. Audrey’s favorite is a closeup shot of her chest, arm covering her nipples and her engagement ring sparkling to the camera. As he flips through the album, he keeps the same stoic expression. Each second seems to feel longer than the last. It drives Audrey crazy not knowing what Harry thinks of his gift.

Eventually, Harry reaches the last photo and the slightest hint of a smirk lifts from his lips and Audrey breathes a little easier. It’s a miracle she’s managed to stay quiet the whole time. It’s absolutely no small feat for her. 

“So...What do you think?” She’s meek, cheeks warming up in embarrassment. “Do you hate it?” Harry snaps the book closed and looks up to make eye contact with her. 

He offers her a sly smile, while he adjusts his pants. “Of course not!” His voice cracks ever so slightly, and Audrey lets out the most ridiculous laugh he’s ever heard. More a chortle than anything else. 

She catches on. 

“Which one do you like best?” She crawls beside him and takes the album from his hands.

“When did you do this?” 

“That’s not what I asked.” She browses the album herself, curious to see if she can guess which one it is. If she had to, it would be the black and white shot of her on the floor, knees skyward and back arched slightly, baby bump on full display again. “I did this not too long after we found out about Peach being a girl.” She recalls the time she left for the afternoon under the guise of a “girl’s day”. Harry never suspected a thing. 

“And you managed to keep a boudoir shoot secret? I’m impressed, baby.” He kisses her head in praise. “You know what, I think we should blow this one up. Do you have access to the digitals?” He points to the open page, the black and white floor shot, just as Audrey suspected. 

“A few of them, yeah. What exactly do you want that for, if you have the album?” She looks up at him, curious. 

“I want this one in the living room.”

“Absolutely not!” 

“C’mon, it would look so good!” He argues with her, tapping the page for emphasis. “You look so good!”

She feels her cheeks warm up again, beyond happy that he likes his gift. “You’re very sweet, but we’re not hanging anything up in the living room.”

“Why not? I should be able to show off how sexy you look!”

“Harry, I refuse to have a picture of me, nearly naked might I add, hanging in our living room.” Audrey crosses her arms and keeps a light scowl on her face. 

With some discussion, they finally manage to compromise; Audrey lets him hang up a canvas of the floor shot on the wall by the bed when he gets back from his trip. The album finds a home in the bathroom.

[3d-wifey]

Toxic Headcanons

Pairing: Eijiro Kirishima x Reader, Tenya Iida x Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Reader, Denki Kaminari x Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Warnings: Nothing really, just some angst

A/N: It's been a while since I posted anything, sorry y'all.🤚🏾😓

Iida is a total prude — You knew this going into the relationship, in fact, you thought it was kind of cute. However, Iida proved to be exceedingly strict. Being his girlfriend made you exempt from some of his rules, but he never shied away from reprimanding you in front of others.

He would completely disapprove of you wearing anything that might be considered dishonorable. Shorts, dresses that end above the knee, shirts that show cleavage or your abdomen. Honestly, just anything that shows more skin than he considers necessary and he wouldn't hesitate to tell you.

No PDA — You want to hold his hand, he'll rip it away and lecture you about how it might make your fellow classmates uncomfortable. You kiss his cheek, he'll go bright red and shout about keeping such things in the privacy of your dorms. The fact that your boyfriend won't even touch you, even non-sexually, is a different type of embarrassment.

It honestly feels more like he's babysitting you than dating you. He'll find fault in everything you do. From your academic work to your hero studies, whatever you're doing could be done better.

"I understand that since we entered a relationship there are certain displays of affection that you would like to participate in. However, I refuse to partake in anything that might tarnish the Iida name. I would suggest you reevaluate your behavior. I would hate to chastise you in front of our peers again."

He's insecure — Normally, there'd be nothing wrong with having self-doubts or self-esteem issues, but Eijiro takes it to a new level. He hangs around people with pretty powerful quirks. Quirks that he believes are far more flashy and manly than his. Since he hangs out with these people, you hang out with these people. And that introduces another aspect to his insecurities.

If you spend time with literally anyone, he'll go on a rant about how he understands how much better they are than him and he'll accept it if you want to break up with him. Try to reassure him all you want, there's already a seed of doubt planted in his mind and the roots only grow. Trying to prove you love him gets exhausting.

He's Possessive — This builds off of his insecurity. He claims that he just wants to spend time with his girl, and the clinginess was cute in the beginning. But, then he started to ask all these questions. Where were you going? Who were you going with? When were you going? Did you like hanging out with them more than him? Why not just stay and cuddle in his dorm with him, babe? He's all you need anyway, right?

Again, it's kind of cute at the beginning, but once you realize he's the only friend you have left, it's too late.

He always guilt trips you — Whenever you argue (probably about him ending all of your friendships), Kiri never owns up to his part in it. At least, not in the way it counts. Once he sees that it's a serious disagreement, he'll start apologizing and talking down on himself. It'll get so bad that you have to comfort him even if he's in the wrong.

"I'm so sorry, babe. I'm a horrible boyfriend. You have every right to be mad at me, and I totally get it if you want to break up with me. Why would you ever want to stay with someone like me anyways? I have no right to call myself a hero, let alone a man."

Horrible Communication — This really shouldn't be surprising considering what kind of environment he grew up in. If he ever has any type of problem, you'll never know. It's not that he's actively trying to keep things from you, but he'll have no way of knowing that he should be sharing certain things with you. You'll go days without talking to each other; honestly, he could break a bone and you would probably be the last person to know.

He's manipulative — It comes down to the fact that Shoto is more like his father than he cares to admit. He has been bathed in constant attention since he was born, and that kind of undivided attention is something he'll want from you too. He knows he'll get his desired reaction from you if he just ignores you. It constantly makes you think you did something wrong. It has to be your fault, right? You'll try to make it up to him, unknowingly falling right into his trap. He's also not above using his past as an excuse. After hearing how he grew up, how could you stay mad at him?

He's oblivious — He's not stupid, obviously, but he'll fall short on some things you would think were common sense. You're gonna be held at arm's length, for starters. You would think being his girlfriend would make you two pretty close, but it'll feel like he confides in his friends more than you. He doesn't have a good example of what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like, so don't expect him to do anything romantic unless you tell him so. He also doesn't have a filter, meaning he's brutally honest. Don't be surprised if he hurts your feelings in his monotonous voice.

"I don't understand why you're upset. I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I wasn't really taught how to properly handle this situation. Could you forgive me?"

He somehow has a superiority and an inferiority complex — This will cause a huge power imbalance in your relationship. If he thinks your quirk is weaker than his, you'll never hear the end of it. He'll make little joking comments about you being "weaker", but there's a little venom behind them that makes you wonder if he actually thinks of you like that.

Belittling remarks here and there. If you ever get hurt in training or in a fight, he'll blame it on your quirk not being good enough to protect you. God forbid your quirk is stronger than his; he'll deny it to his last breath, but there will be a shadow of jealously that's always drifting over your relationship. He'll constantly challenge you to fights and you better not go easy on him or he'll think you're pitying him. He would kind of see you as more of a rival than a girlfriend and it'll be tiring toeing the line of stroking his ego and not coddling him.

He's pretty set in his ways — It might not seem like it, but Katsuki is very organized. He has a very set routine that he follows and if you want to date him, you'll have to squeeze your way in. He'll expect you to be accommodating towards his schedule and he isn't willing to meet you halfway. Getting him to try anything new is like pulling out teeth.

He's possessive — This obviously goes hand in hand with his arrogance and low self-esteem. He's smothering. Why hang around with other people when you can hang out with him? Why do you need space? You love him, don't you? If you really loved him, you wouldn't want to be apart from him.

He'll never like any of your friends. He's always finding something wrong with them or something about them that irritates him, and he isn't afraid to tell them that to their faces. It'll get to the point that your friends won't invite you to hang out if Bakugou's with you, and he's always with you.

"Tch, the hell are you crying for? You wouldn't be in this situation if you had just listened to me, idiot. What do you want extras like that for anyways? I'm all you need."

He doesn't take anything seriously — He's a total class clown and his sense of humor is one of the things that drew you to him, but this comes with a drawback. He's pretty insensitive, so he'll never think he's in the wrong, in any situation. He won't be taking your feelings into account. He's not the type of guy you would go to if you need a shoulder to cry on or if you want to be comforted, which is disappointing since that's kind of what partners do.

He'll crack jokes about you, which is fine at first, but he doesn't know where to draw the line. If you try to tell him that the jokes are getting out of hand he'll stop saying them in front of you, but you never said anything about saying them when you weren't there. He's also got a thing about taking about other girls with his friends despite dating you. If you tell him it hurts your feelings, he'll say you're just overreacting and it must be that time of the month again. You can throw out the idea of having any important conversations with him.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop. Are you happy now? I swear sometimes you can be such a drama queen, babe. You need to grow some thicker skin."

[loosenedidylls]

Blessings, Curses, Autism

My earliest memories are of waiting rooms with musty carpets and buckets of donated, broken toys. I guess it was worse for my parents, who had nothing to stare at but walls and trashy lifestyle magazines. Eventually, the professionals decided I had a condition called Asperger’s Syndrome, and there was one thing they wanted me to understand:

“It’s a blessing, not a curse.”

If someone asked me to list blessings off the top of my head, I’d mention 20/20 vision, pitch-perfect hearing, or George Foreman’s chin — not a neurological disorder that transforms the most natural stages of personal development into a confusing struggle. In hindsight, I would have preferred more concrete advice than ‘it’s a blessing, not a curse.’ Something like:

“Watch out for the train!”

…But the quippy slogan is what stuck. My parents dispensed it like a cheap plaster, and I still don’t know whose benefit it was for — mine, or theirs. What I do know, is that I never once believed them: I felt I was being brushed aside, or told to accept something blatantly untrue. Besides, children don’t care to question whether they’re blessed or cursed, so it was an answer to a question that hadn’t been asked. Existentialism is for adults trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Being an Autistic Child.

Autism is not a superpower. Thanks to certain pieces of popular media, you might think of autistic people as quirky-yet-brilliant detectives, awkward-yet-sexy hackers (always female), or nonverbal children with a deep, instinctive connection to whatever animal or alien the protagonists are trying to communicate with. Often, people with severe autism are plot devices in the same vein as a forbidden orb or set of nuclear launch codes. Instead of damsels waiting for Bruce Willis to save them, they’re objects waiting for Bruce Willis to understand them.

A lot of autistic people are brilliant academically, though not for the reasons you might think. A common feature of autism is hyper-fixating on ‘special interests’, obsessing over a subject until one has learned everything about it, before moving on to the next. Very few people become maths geniuses this way; more often they become diehard Sonic fans or start giving lots of money to Games Workshop. Here are a few of the phases I went through:

-          Thomas the Tank Engine.

-          Pokémon.

-          Old English monster myths.

-          Naruto.

-          Peter Jackson’s King Kong (both the movie and the video game).

-          Bleach (the anime, thankfully, not the cleaning product).

Fairly normal interests for a young person, right? Now remember the hyper-fixation part. People with Asperger’s tend to focus on certain interests at the expense of others, and those ‘rejected interests’ are usually vital for social development. Now remember that high school is a psychopathic hellscape crawling with cruel little monsters ready to vent their newfound territorial instincts on anyone who doesn’t fit in. The kid who wants to discuss the depiction of brontosauruses in a sort-of-okay remake of a 1933 movie isn’t doing himself any favours — constant bullying drives him even deeper into reclusive interests and solitary hobbies, and from there, it’s the luck of the draw whether those hobbies resonate with any of the kids around him.

I’ve always known a lot about things no one knows about, and nothing about things everyone knows about. This, along with the fact that a lack of social life makes it easy to focus on one’s studies, creates the illusion that some autistic kids are eccentric geniuses-in-the-making. Parents — especially the parents of autistic children — are quick to latch onto any display of intelligence. They watch intently for any sign their long struggle is paying off, and when it happens, they praise their child endlessly, reinforcing behaviour patterns both good and bad. Because adults told me I was intelligent, I told other children I was intelligent, and you can imagine how well that went.

This misapprehension — confusing a bunch of random trivia for genius — followed me into high school, hurting me all the while, which is ironic, because it was the only positive way I could think about myself.

I’m lucky to have found books and writing as lifelong passions, but that almost didn’t happen; in fact, I used to despise any writing task the teacher set for me, to the point of outright refusing to do the work. In my defence, I was trying very hard to be somewhere else at the time — mentally, that is. The idea of putting my feelings on paper, for all to see? I couldn’t conceive of anything more terrifying.

Harry Potter changed things. I was gifted The Deathly Hallows when it was first published, and even though I had no idea what was going on in the story (I hadn’t even seen The Order of the Phoenix yet), I thought it was wonderful — maybe because I was getting a sneak peek into a future movie. Since then, I’ve always had a book close at hand, and it wasn’t long before I started writing my own novels (more on those another time).

 Voracious reading was, technically, another un-social activity that would consume my waking hours, but at least it was productive. My grades improved dramatically. I got good at writing essays. I became better at expressing myself, and I started to consider other people’s points of view. I made friends, lifelong bonds. I wouldn’t say I was happy at that stage of life — bullies tend to push back against things like improved mental health — but at least I was growing.

Looking back, I can’t help but wonder how close I came to disaster. I was 13 or so. If I’d left it any later, I doubt the outcome would have been so peachy. There are plenty of autistic adults with no friends, no employable skills, no human contact but ageing parents and rare, fleeting therapy sessions. Many of these people are quirky and brilliant, but there’s no happy ending for them.

Being an Autistic Adult.

Autism never goes away. It never gets ‘better’. It isn’t curable because it’s not a disease, despite what the vaccine deniers might tell you; autism is an intrinsic part of my neurological makeup, and living with it is a process of compromises.

I had to accept, early on, that I’m not the same sort of human being as the people around me. My brain is a different brand of brain: it makes different connections, processes different bits of data at different speeds. Things that seem obvious to you, need to be explained to me. I struggle to read a room, and I’m never quite sure if the person I’m talking to would really rather I shut up.

Put simply, my childhood experiences made me keenly aware of myself as an outsider. I need to watch for people’s reactions to anything I say or do, all the while navigating a maze of social cues and left-unsaids — but sooner or later, I’m always going to slip up. When you are differently-brained, it’s easy to misinterpret instructions, or to misjudge which thread of discussion is most important; and when you’re processing so much data at any one time, small-yet-vital points are going to slip under the radar. The result is being told off, being laughed at (‘laughing with you, not at you’ is another fun slogan I’ve learned to endure), and generally feeling stupid or useless for overlooking one point of data among hundreds.

 As I grew into an adult, I got better at performing normal. Nowadays, only those who spend a lot of time around me can spot the signs of my condition: I seem confident, funny, sympathetic, and I make friends easily. As I write this, I can’t help but feel uneasy: it makes me wonder, and not for the first time, how much of my personality is genuine. In high-stress situations, the generic piece of advice is ‘relax and be yourself.’ Succeeding in life as an autistic person means learning not to be yourself, or at least creating a version of yourself that can exist in public — so, where does the real me end, and the performance begin? Are they one and the same? I’ll never know the answer to that question.

Being an autistic adult, then, means pretending I’m not autistic for the benefit of other people. It’s a lifelong, often exhausting performance, and the temptation to retreat into my shell is ever present. But, just like anyone else, I long for human contact, so the compromise is a necessary one.

Blessings & Curses: Redux.

Terry Pratchett wrote that humans need to learn to believe the little lies so they can believe in big ones. There’s something I wish I knew during the bad years; that I was far from the only person suffering from my condition. My parents were stumbling in the dark just like me, except they had to pretend everything was under control.

My dad confided in me, recently, how he used to cry — a lot — during those days when I would return from school after another worst day of my life, talking about footballs thrown at my head, being cornered and verbally abused, or being removed from class after another tantrum. These were practically daily occurrences, and they’ve left their lifelong marks on me, but I’ve never lacked for brilliant people willing to help, people who were alongside me in my suffering. Raising a child is hard, and raising a neurodivergent child is even harder. Can I blame my parents for wanting to believe in blessings, and not curses?

Most of the time, those bad years seem like a distant memory. I don’t see autism as my blessing or my curse; it’s just a part of me — a frustrating, limiting, often embarrassing part of me, but one just as vital as my eye colour or ethnicity. I’ve come to accept it and be content despite it, and I suppose that’s the best outcome I could hope for.

[deathlyharlows]

TASK #6 HARLOW VALENTINE - CHARACTER ANALYSIS + TASK #4 BONDS

UPBRINGING 

One of Harlow’s main KEY MOMENTS was the moment she was “born” or as she would say “woke up” or “crawled out of Hell.” She’s not certain on what happened or who she was before that-- She also didn’t take the time to actually worry about that, and while she has some kind of lingering feeling that there was more than just the Hell she was trapped in-- She poses the question: Would it change anything? And since the answer is no... WELL. 

That’s the truth, anyway, if Harlow ever remembered her human life, it wouldn’t change a thing. The biggest reactions that would be pulled from her would be something like “good to know I’ve always been this way?” followed by a possible whiplash that comes with knowing she’s old as fuck-- then go on her merry way. 

While I don’t have a set amount of times in which she’s gotten out/escaped from Hell, or the years she actually spent outside in her “other lives”, I can say-- aside from her actual human life-- current Harlow is possibly the tamest version. 

INSTINCTS/ RIGHT vs WRONG  

It didn’t matter if she was “a clean slate,” she was still a demon-- Which if you come to think of it, are basically mass destruction weapons freshly out of Hell. And while Harlow didn’t have any lingering recollection of anything, she was “pre-set” from day 1.  Having these natural impulses of wanting to self-serve herself, to take everything and anything she wants without paying for it, of destroying and creating chaos and pain, just because she felt like doing it or because she felt it’s fun.  A PREDATOR in the whole definition of the word.   

In the end, it also wasn’t just because she was a demon. She was already part of something, a soldier ready to be thrown to war-- or in this case missions to do whatever her boss asked of her. It’s only ironic, that I feel, had she not been kept under Jack’s domain-- she probably would’ve been wilder-- past and present.  

As time passed, and Harlow actually started being more self-aware-- She could realize pretty much everything she liked to do, and everything she did was morally and legally  WRONG. But that’s when the next part came, she didn’t care enough to go against it. So she continued and continues... 

Stealing? Good to get something for free! Harming people? Fun! Torturing people? Double fun! 

MURDER

Some people relief stress by drinking, smoking, doing drugs, having sex, or involving themselves in different activities-- Either it's harmful to them, or it's healthy. Harlow’s stress relief? Is harmful to others: Murder. 

It’s come to a point where killing someone is nothing to her. There could be a bunch of reasons why she does it. Fun? She was bored? She wanted something from someone, so she took it? Revenge? The answer is almost always the same-- Murder. It probably shouldn’t be, but killing someone is one of Harlow’s knee jerk reactions or solutions for almost everything. Pretty much so, that if she hasn’t murdered (or harmed) someone that has either annoyed or pissed her off in any way-- It means something. 

It brings the question, though-- Is it Harlow, or is this normal demon behavior?

Psychologically, speaking-- Harlow could be easily lumped in with a personality disorder, more specifically: ANTISOCIAL:  a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, lack of empathy, bloated self-image, manipulative and impulsive behavior. Subtype: COVETOUS. 

Sidenote: Let’s keep in mind this is not a human character, so maybe psychology doesn’t even apply to demons asderftgyh

However, as much as she hits some (if not most) of the criteria. There is one strong characteristic that brings down the conclusion of Harlow having APD. 

EMOTIONS  

These have always been something quite difficult for Harlow to understand. She knows she has emotions and feelings, and she doesn’t exactly push them away. At times, she’s wondered if this is how it’s supposed to be. Do all demons have difficulty telling them apart? Is she even supposed to have them? Or do all of them actually have them, don’t have trouble telling them apart but they just choose to ignore them? It’s not like she can go (or trust) another demon for her to ask and have a heart to heart (ew), or for her to be “Hey, let’s compare!” so she manages as best as she can. 

There is a name for this: ALEXITHYMIA.

In her case-- Most of the times, if the emotion isn’t as “explored” she tries to make sense of it, to understand it. It’s only with time that she eases into it, and becomes familiar with it. Considering 22 years have passed since she started with this process of literally categorizing emotions, she would say she has some pretty recognized, but, boy does she have some way to go...

Recognized: Anger, amusement, happiness, annoyance, boredom, curiosity, confusion, disgust, envy, jealousy, lust, pride, guilt, regret, surprise, worry. (Mainly)  

Halfway/currently: Love, fear, anxiety. 

Unexplored: Sadness, grief, loneliness. 

This is obviously a rough list, and the ones I think are important when it comes to her character. 

The previous is only when it comes to herself. When it comes to other people and their emotions or display of these-- Is a completely different thing. 

In the first years, just like with her own emotions, it was rather hard for her to notice what other’s were feeling. An expression was just that-- An expression. It didn’t hold any true meaning, and she wasn’t able to attach it to an actual emotion. Just like with herself, with time, she started connecting expressions with emotions. 

Ironically, I think the ability to recognize them on others was easier than on herself. Surely, she learned faster with emotions she was shown more often. Fear and anger, the main ones. There are probably still a couple out there which she isn’t shown that much that probably could slip her by. 

EMPATHY

Going hand in hand with overall emotions comes empathy. Is it possible for someone who cares little for others to feel such a thing as empathy? The answer here is yes. However, most of the times is more something superficial than rooted in. Taken in from a logical perspective, instead of an emotional way. Harlow isn’t one to “walk in someone else’s shoes” but she can begin to understand where someone else is coming from, or to “read them”. Varying on the situation, of course. In the end, it’s only up to her if she wants to be sympathetic towards the person/people in question. 

For example, going back to the murder situation-- When/If someone who she’s about to murder, is crying and begging for their life, Harlow would know why, and understand it. Despite the fact, she’s never felt sadness or doesn’t have full recognition of fear when it comes to her. 

Of course, there also instances in which, even if she wanted to understand-- it’s not even possible.  A good example of this, was when Will begged her not to kill the hunters. Putting aside the fact she’s not all that fond of him, Harlow couldn’t even get why he was so against it, if he wasn’t the one killing them. If they had tortured her and would’ve possibly killed him. 

Like with everything, this empathy comes easier when is people she’s closer to. Which aren’t many because-- 

RELATIONSHIPS 

Establishing relationships with people isn’t exactly a MUST for Harlow, while she can actually make them easily with little effort, she maintains them at a certain arm length. Why? Because in the end, others are rather disposable. A “friend”? She could easily leave one behind and get another one, right? She knows that’s not right, that she’s not supposed to do that. Use people to get what she wants, or to save herself/make herself seem innocent of something she’s actually guilty of. But that’s the thing-- For Harlow, only Harlow comes first. 

JACK ALVAH: Her boss.  

Jack is another one of Harlow’s key moments. It’s funny to say, that if it hadn’t been for Jack, Harlow most likely wouldn’t have tried to be a functioning member of this society (lmao). Think of a loaded aimless gun, just shooting off everywhere and anywhere. Surely, she’s still a loaded gun-- But at least there’s some aim and/or direction.   

So how was Jack the reason, Harlow isn’t a complete savage? In the most abstract of terms-- Harlow could be considered a soldier. She follows orders, directions, instructions, so on. Those require certain discipline. It is only odd to consider that a demon as rebellious or unapologetic as her would do such a thing or follow someone else’s command. There is an explanation for that-- In some messed up way, Harlow was somewhat GRATEFUL for Jack.  What the fuck, right? But I guess when you spent fuck knows how long being tortured in Hell, and suddenly you’re not-- This was the jack(haha)pot.  

Not to mention that for the longest of time, Jack was basically all Harlow knew. Surely, there were her other “co-workers” but in a place like this, friends aren’t really a thing either. You kill or you get killed. You use or you get used. Simple math. Whoever doesn’t get that, then well, it’s their own damn fault. 

So why didn’t she try to go away? Call it convenience, rather than loyalty. The “training” and missions started, and Harlow was like “hey this isn’t bad at all” -- she was out of Hell? She got to do the things, the usual people would frown upon, without anyone in there bat a single lash? And on top of that, she could easily get things she wanted? Sign her the fuck up. Yet, Harlow knew Jack wasn’t a friend. No. He was using her-- She was nothing more but another tool. Whatever. To her, he was also a mean to her own ends. 

CLAUDIA DAVENPORT: Her everything. 

Remember when I said, “for Harlow, only Harlow comes first?” Well, hahahaha... 

Chronologically speaking, Claudia is key moment 3, 4, and possibly more, depending on what happens down the line.  Truthfully, I’d say these are the most important. 

By the time, Harlow had already been around for 17-ish years, she already had climbed up and made a name for herself among Jack’s crew. What can I say? She was good at completing her missions-- whether it was murdering someone, getting information, or pretending to be a specific type of person... 

It was odd at first to learn that her boss had a daughter (and a son)-- Him? Having children? Even Harlow knew that wasn’t something she’d hear, but hey, what did she know about family and things like those, except for what she read and watched in movies. There wasn’t much of a second thought about that, until one day, she got called over and was told to look after Claudia. That was the complete opposite of what she did. Was there an option to make someone else take on that? Maybe, maybe not. It wasn’t like Harlow complained, perhaps she was curious on what it was to be a normal person.

Technically, she hadn’t been told she had to befriend her, still, that’s what she did.  It was so easy. They joked, teased each other, talked about anything and everything, watched movies, and spent most of the day/their days together. Those apart, Harlow couldn’t only look forward to the day they did. Was this what having a real friend was like? Not looking for the knife behind her back, not expecting an eventual fall? Being around Claudia was nice. It was good. Even if they weren’t. Harlow felt this kind of happiness that simply wouldn’t come with other people, or doing the bad things she liked to do. It was different, and she definitely didn’t hate while she didn’t understand. All of this made it so easy for Harlow to also forget, this had all started out as a LIE. Harlow didn’t really see it as one, when she was being herself. She wasn’t pretending to be someone else, it was herself. So maybe if she ignored it, it wouldn’t go wrong--

HUH OH. 

Just like she didn’t understand, why she was feeling the way she was around Claudia, or what those emotions meant. She also didn’t know there was a possibility that Claudia could be feeling the same. Until she was close to her-- about to kiss her, and Harlow’s dumbass went off like ‘hey, this is not something friends do... right?’ still, I don’t think she would’ve stopped it hadn’t it been for Jack suddenly doing it himself. Saved by the bell? Not so much when he also pointed a finger in Harlow’s direction to say she worked for him. Now-- she didn’t see that one coming. So the gig was up, job over-- Now off, to more missions. Except, Harlow truly hadn’t seen Claudia as a job. She was a friend. Her first and only friend for that matter. And now... she wasn’t, because of what she did. And a couple of new feelings surged after that, like something weighing her down. They weren’t fuzzy or made her feel good-- Complete opposite. Something was missing-- Eventually, realizing she missed Claudia. But there wasn’t anything she could do about it now. 

To say Claudia has thrown her off her game in several ways is definitely an understatement. The years passed, and Harlow still missed Claudia-- not always consciously, but always there. She most likely thought, she’d never see her again, until another day came-- And she was back to being the bodyguard. Which she would go on facefirst. 

Fairly, Harlow didn’t know what to do. Things weren’t how they were (obviously) and she did what she did best-- PRETEND.  Maybe if she pretended like they were still those two teenagers, it would be the same. WELP. She also didn’t understand how or why Claudia didn’t hate her, or why she hadn’t looked to pay her back. (Because Harlow often forgets not everyone is out for revenge) Current time, I don’t think she fully grasps Claudia's reasons not to, and that's also the thing… By now, Harlow has come to terms that they wouldn't or couldn't be the same, and they will probably never be able to be friends. It’s with that, Harlow is aware of the feelings she has for Claudia, easily embracing them. Going "fuck it" and kissing her is a major step when talking about this realization. It's only funny, (and a bit frustrating) that it hasn't downed on her these feelings mean she's in love. I mean, how could she, when she's never been in love? How could she tell when there has never been anywhere to look to and say "oh, so that's love." It’s not like she’s been shown any type of love either. She's slowly but surely getting there, okay. Baby (?) steps.

I can say, though, Harlow has always been in love with Claudia, and she most likely always will. I don't think she would ever be able to love someone else the way she loves her. Here's why: It would mean, she'd have to allow herself to be friends with someone else (you know, the kind of friend where she wouldn't sell the other for a cornship) and even if she did, she would be looking for Claudia in them, consciously and unconsciously.

Claudia is special to her, and so, she would do anything and everything for her.

Let's keep in mind, Harlow is inherently greedy so, yes, she wants Claudia to feel (just feel not do, I'll get to that in a moment lmao) the same way she does for her, aka love her back. (Because, Harlow isn’t a mindreader-- she can see Claudia’s eyes light up, she can see her smile, and giggle. Yet, she doesn’t correlate that this could mean Claudia loves her too, hah) 

But even if Claudia didn't, (or if she stopped) it wouldn't change a thing for Harlow. She still would look after her and put everything aside to keep her safe. What do I mean when I say not do? Considering Harlow would literally set herself on fire if it meant Claudia remained-- she doesn't want her to do the same thing for her. "I set myself on fire, not you."

There’s this quote, I found some time ago:  “Love is madness, doesn’t everyone agree that you’d do anything, endure anything, to be with the ones you love? So either you’re willing to let them use you with any sort of cruelty, so long as they keep you—which makes you a fool—or you’re willing to commit any cruelty, so long as you get to keep them—which makes you a monster. Either way, it’s madness.”

Personally, I think Harlow is part fool, part monster-- She would do and endure anything, even if it wasn’t to be with her.  She would die for her. The part fool, right? Especially, because Harlow would think the same thing about other’s who’d do the same as her. Willing to die for others? Pft. But Claudia... She would do so, she would easily accept (to herself) that she’s a fool. On the other hand, she would also commit any kind of cruelty for the same reason-- For Claudia. Not to keep her though. Harlow might be possessive, yet she’s capable to comprehend Claudia is her own person. Being willing to commit any kind of cruelty, can become dangerous when Harlow can’t tell apart an enemy or a threat, from a possible ally or friend. (Also, see: Lizzie Saltzman) 

In a few words: Harlow would attempt to smite everything and everyone around her, for Claudia’s safety-- and if all that fails, she would die as one final try. 

To try and wrap this section (WHEW) while it might not be played out because it would mean Harlow is not generally bamboozled by her own emotions-- I think to a degree, Harlow would generally WORRY about the implications of being in love with her. Not because she thinks love is a burden, funny enough, but because she’s aware, she’s not a good person at all. (And that they aren’t surrounded by the easiest or safest of situations) She knows that even if she never intended to-- She’s hurt Claudia in the past, and she doesn’t want that to happen again. She wants nothing more than her happiness, because for her Claudia deserves to be happy-- and she would also attempt anything for that, as best as she can. 

WILLIAM FLYNN VS MAXWELL HARVEY VS LIZZIE SALTZMAN: Her dumb bitch moments.

The first of these three she knew of was Will, of course. Simply by association. She knew he was Jack’s son, and therefore Claudia’s brother. That was as much importance as Will would have to her. There are two reasons why Harlow (despite not being fond of him) hasn’t thrown Will in harm’s way. a) There is a “do I get something out of selling Will out?” Ehhhh.... but this was heavily countered by b) despite not being told by Claudia herself that she knew of her brothers-- Harlow cares and respects her so much, she won’t do that just because. Now, if Claudia went “idgaf about them” then it be “well, tough titties, willie.” It’s funny to me, how there are similarities between Will and Harlow-- they’d do anything to protect those they care about, they wouldn’t back down from a confrontation, they attack first and ask questions later, they have complexities when it comes to emotions-- yet they don’t get along at all. As a matter of fact, Harlow would say she doesn’t like Will. It sort of brings me the question if Harlow truly likes herself lmao (she does, but she’s a hypocrite sigh) Maybe in different circumstances, maybe in the future-- she will actually see eye to eye with him. Be friends? That’s it-- Only if Harlow hasn’t done more to fuck things over in the general scheme of things.  :/ 

Comes in, Maxwell Harvey-- Harlow didn’t know about this sibling, and frankly the only reason why he didn’t get served that one night at the alley, was because she looked like Will lmao Same “this is Claudia’s brother” rule followed, whether Claudia knew about this one or not. Even if at first, Harlow couldn’t see over “fucking great ANOTHER William??” it is also funny how it seems to be that she genuinely likes Max better.  Here’s why-- Taking away the fact, Harlow found amusement in his fear and toying around with that... Meeting Will, he fought back and didn’t make her night easy-- Will fights back and goes head to head with her, and generally, this would earn someone a stab from her. (Which she knows she can’t do) She thinks Max will be the same-- Color her fucking surprised when Maxwell suddenly goes “i’ll do anything for you” and throws his own fucking twin under the bus. Harlow is like “yo.... RESPECT” and actually thought he was smarter than Will, who could’ve died. (aka not smart) Now-- Had Maxwell thrown Claudia under the bus, instead of William-- He would’ve become #1 enemy in 0.1 seconds.  

Finally, her ultimate simultaneous dumb ass bitch yet actually smart if put in a certain perspective moment-- Lizzie Saltzman aka “that blonde bitch at the beach.” The only reason why Harlow could even know about her existence, was because she saw her around Claudia, and her brain cells didn’t get enough oxygen for her to stop for a second and think “hey, this could be a friend.” No, the dumb bitch goes “whothefuck?” and JUMPS. Finding her was mere accident-- And she wanted answers. Who was she.  (Not jealous at all, psth... *Michael Scott’s cringe face*) That turns into actual annoyance, when Lizzie-- like Will-- goes head to head with her. Except, this girl didn’t mean anything to Claudia, did she? (oh boy) So she could get rid of her. Lizzie fights back, and man way to poke the demon. Now, Harlow has a petty vendetta-- Only she could be the biggest blonde at the beach. Her pettiness, becomes into an actual plan, though. By this point, Harlow believes Claudia to have broken Will out from where Jack got him-- And bitch, is she fucking tearing her hair out at what could happen if Jack knows this. Her mind goes directly to-- “would he kill her? worse?” and you know.-- no-no. So she looks at Lizzie “knows William and Claudia, but would probably die before saying anything” Saltzman, and goes: PERFECT. (Nevermind the fact, Lizzie was actually involved and is Will’s girlfriend, ohp) She thinks if Jack focuses enough on Lizzie, then Claudia will be safe. And you know, her mind would’ve probably done something, had it not been because Lizzie is a friend, and i-- :))))) Just like with William, I think Harlow could get along with Lizzie just fine-- in banter level friendship. You know, once again, if by the time a future comes... Things haven’t gotten even more fucked. 

In conclusion, of all this clusterfuck that is Harlow: 

[lbibliophile]

Freak Powers

Dudley’s birthday is always a special day, but this year it has just gone from bad to worse. First there was the missing present, then there was the snake. Now there is a strange woman, with a strange letter, and a claim that threatens to turn the life he has known inside out.

on AO3 2262 words

Dudley glares at the TV. This is not how this day was supposed to go. It is supposed to be his day, his birthday, but this year it has just gone from bad to worse. First there was the missing present at breakfast. Then the freak had to join the visit to the zoo, and made that snake almost eat him. Then there was the aftermath of that, first at the zoo then at home. Now his Dad’s stormed off to the pub, his Mum was too shaken to cook his proper birthday dinner, and his whole evening is ruined. His day can’t possibly get any worse.

A knock sounds at the front door.

“Duddikins, can you please get that. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Dudley grumbles, but hauls himself to his feet. It’s not like he was actually watching the TV anyway, and if it’s a salesperson maybe he can yell at them.

As it turns out, it’s not a salesperson, or if it is, she’s not like any he’s seen before. The first thing he notes is her odd tartan suit, then the grey hair pulled into a tight bun – she’s old, but not old-old. He catches her stern gaze, shining from behind rectangular-framed glasses.

“Dudley Dursley, I presume?”

He gapes at her for a moment. She knows his name?

“Um, yes? Wait, are you here for my birthday?”

“As a matter of fact, I am. Or at least, on a related topic. Are your parents about?” He shrugs.

“Dad’s out, but Mum’s here. Muum!”

Finally his mother comes bustling over, drying her hands on a tea towel.

“Yes? And what do you want?”

“Ah, Mrs Dursley, Petunia. Professor McGonagall.”

She peers at the older woman.

“Do I… know you?”

“We met only briefly, many years ago, however we had a mutual acquaintance. But tonight, I am here on business. If I might come inside to talk to you and your son?”

His mother pauses for a moment, then agrees, settling them in the sitting room before returning to the kitchen to make tea.

Dudley stares at the woman, awkward silence growing.

“You said you were here for my birthday?”

“Indeed. I work at a school, and offers of admittance are traditionally delivered to prospective students on their eleventh birthday. Your mother might have mentioned it; Hogwarts?”

“That’s a funny name for a school, never heard of it. Besides,” he puffs up proudly, “I’m going to Smeltings. Just like Dad.”

Professor McGonagall smiles thinly.

“While I’m sure… Smeltings… would be lovely, Hogwarts caters to students with certain special skills. Tell me, has anything strange ever happened around you, particularly when you are upset or angry? Something you can’t explain?”

Startled by the question, Dudley pauses to think, memories trickling into his mind. Getting frustrated trying to reach a packet of biscuits on the shelf and having the box slide forward into his hand – but surely he just stretched a little bit further. Throwing a tantrum, and having things fall off a shelf on the other side of the room – but it must have been just his feet making the floor shake. Playing Harry Hunting and knowing exactly where his cousin is hiding – but the freak is just predictable like that.

Before he realises it, his thoughts are led into a new set of memories. Harry Hunting again, but his quarry vanishes, only to reappear on the school rooftop. A dropped glass shattering on the kitchen floor, then the shards flying back together and reforming in Harry’s hand. His cousin making a strange hissing sound as a snake slithers through a window that moments ago was filled with glass.

“No, never. That was always Harry.”

Even as he speaks the memories continue to unroll, the scenes detailing the consequences that inevitably followed such incidents. He remembers his father, face purple with anger, throwing his cousin into his cupboard and locking the door. He remembers his mother, shouting about the boy’s freakishness and ‘not in this house, don’t you dare’. He remembers just a few hours ago, and the sound of leather hitting flesh, punctuated by his cousin’s cries of pain.

The blood drains from his face. The freak deserved it, of course, after all he is just that; a freak. But this woman is trying to say that he is a freak too. He backs away from her and her life-destroying letter, shaking his head in denial.

“No. No, it can’t be. I’m not a freak, I’m not. That’s Harry, not me. He’s the one who does the freaky stuff, I’m normal. Mum, please, you have to believe me! I don’t do that stuff. It’s a trick, all that freak’s fault. You have to tell dad that it’s not me, I’m not a freak. I’m not! Never! Not a freak!”

Minerva watches in shock as the boy before her launches into full blown hysterics. She has seen a variety of reactions when muggleborns discover magic, but never something like this. And this was supposed to be an easy visit. A brief thought niggles at her mind and she wonders how Harry Potter fits into this view of magic. The pitch and volume rises and she winces, the light above flickering as the boy’s magic swirls through the room. The letter in her hand starts to vibrate and her eyes widen as she sees the name, one moment reading Mr Dudley Dursley, the next, Mr Harry Potter, and back again. She is drawing her wand, trying to think of the best way to calm the situation when it suddenly stops, the eye of the storm. Then the magic is moving again. Draining from the room, not back towards the blond boy collapsing on the ground, but away, leaving him an empty void to her senses.

Appearing in the doorway, Petunia stares at her son for a moment, lying on the floor, then spins to face her.

“You! What have you done to my Dudders? How dare you! You freaks are all the same, using your freaky powers to push around us normal people. What did you do to my son? Tell me! Undo it!”

Realising her wand is still raised, Minerva waves it at the woman, sending her to lie unconscious beside her son. It is not strictly ethical for her to use magic in such a way, but something is not right, and the woman’s screeching is not helping her to think.

First things first. She casts a diagnostic spell on the boy to make sure he was not harmed by his outburst. Elevated heartbeat, now slowing back to normal, slight bruise where an elbow hit the floor, magic levels… She reads it again. Zero. After a display like that she expected some magical exhaustion, but not to such an extent. Even muggles have some latent power, absorbed from their surroundings, but this boy seems to be actively rejecting it, forcing it away.

She looks down at the letter, somehow still held in her hand. The house address is the same as before, but the first two lines have changed.

Mr Harry Potter The Cupboard Under the Stairs

Only two lines, but the implications… The fact that Potter’s name has replaced Dursley’s. That he apparently spent the previous night sleeping in a cupboard, of all places. That, despite the commotion, he has not yet revealed his presence in the house, although the wards indicate he should be here. Something is not right here; she is missing something.

But there are more urgent matters to attend to before she can focus on finding Potter. She can still feel the last of the Dursley boy’s magic draining from the room, clearly being drawn towards something. And she had better find out what it is. Because with such a strong concentration of magic being uncontrolled like this, it would be far too easy to overload even a previously magical object. And trying to clean up the mess of the aftereffects of that is more hassle than she really wants to deal with. Particularly if she has the opportunity to help stabilise the power and nip any problems in the bud. Of course, if it is a human drawing the magic – either deliberately or unconsciously – it all depends on who and why.

These thoughts in mind, she focuses on her magic sense, following the fading trail back into the front hallway and towards the stairs. Starting to climb, she pauses. The magic is not going up the stairs, but into them. Or rather – she peers over the banister, seeing the expected door just below her – under them.

Walking around to face it, she frowns at the padlock securing the bolt. Depending on what is stored under there (cleaning supplies seems like the most obvious answer, or spare linens), perhaps it is simply to keep out inquisitive ten-year-olds. Merlin knows she understands the challenges inherent in that, but it obviously can’t be that effective if Harry was able to sneak in there last night. However, regardless of its effectiveness on small children, a simple padlock is no barrier to a fully-trained witch on a mission. A quick alohomora, and the padlock snaps open. It is the work of a moment to unbolt the door and swing it open.

Oh.

She sees at last what her mind had been picking at. The source behind all the little hints of not-right.

Yes, there are cleaning supplies on shelves against the back wall, but there are also battered trainers lying on the floor. And the worn blanket is not folded away, but spread over a mat on the floor. And on the ‘bed’… Well. Apparently the lock is not to keep a pair of children out, but to keep one particular child in.

She must make some sort of noise, because the figure curled on the blanket tenses, messy dark-haired head rising from where it was buried in thin arms. Her breath catches as green eyes (so familiar, but not) meet her own. They are red-rimmed from recent crying, the evidence dried on his cheeks. A movement causes his ratty and overlarge t-shirt to slip and she sees the reason for his tears; a swollen red welt curling forward over his shoulder. From the grimace as he moves, it is one of several.

“Harry?”

It is no more than a whisper, but the child takes it as a question, nodding and ducking his head.

“Yes, ma’am. Who- ?”

He cuts himself off, but the half-spoken question is enough to start to drive her brain back into gear. Shocked and worried, she retreats into her familiar Professor persona.

“I am Professor McGonagall, deputy headmistress at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” She sighs mentally at his blank look. Given what happened earlier, she doesn’t know why she should be surprised, but it appears that he will need the full Muggleborn introduction in addition to an overview of his specific circumstances. “Hogwarts is a school for learning magic.”

“You can’t say that word! And besides, m- that stuff isn’t real anyway.”

“Let me put this another way. Have strange things ever happened around you, particularly when you are angry or upset?”

“Of course, but that is just my freakishness. I try not to, honest! But it just happens.” Suddenly he gasps. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, a moment ago. Really! But the air got all buzzy, then it sort of filled me up, and I didn’t mean it to, I swear!”

Minerva grimaces slightly. Well, that answers several questions - including where the Dursley boy’s magic went - but it opens the door to a whole slew of new ones.

“That ‘buzzing’ feeling is magic. Hogwarts will teach you how to control and direct it, so you know exactly when and how it is working.” She pauses for a moment, then nods decisively. “Normally, school starts on the first of September, however given the range of circumstances, I believe it would be best for you to gain a head start before the beginning of term. Gather any personal items you wish to keep; you will be returning to Hogwarts with me for the rest of the summer. There is much work to be done, familiarising yourself with your new world before your classmates arrive.”

Leaving the confused – but smiling – boy to his packing, she returns to the sitting room. Looking at the woman still collapsed on the floor she takes a deep breath, struggling to control her emotions, then waves her wand once more. Perhaps she should have just left her there until the official Obliviators arrive, but she feels unable to leave without some comment, and better it comes in the form of words than a curse.

Petunia’s eyes flutter, then open fully, fixing on the witch’s glowing wand-tip.

“Mrs Dursley,” Minerva’s voice is pleasant, but does not quite cover the steel and icy anger beneath, “I apologise, for the intrusion. It appears that you do not in fact have a magical child residing with you at the present moment. My condolences to you and your son. I and Mr Potter shall take our leave.”

A final twitch of her wand, and Petunia falls unconscious again, Minerva already turning away. She collects Harry from the hallway, small and battered bag clutched in his arms, and they walk out the front door.

Some hours later, a pair of strange robed figures appear, the missing family member in tow. They wave around sticks of wood, then depart; leaving memories muffled in their wake.

Dudley’s final gift on his eleventh birthday, is forgetting.

[badgersgarbage]

Kris(py kreme lol)

eyy nice

This one’s gonna be a long one though, just to let you know.

Physical attributes:

In terms of height, I’d say they’d be 5'4 at the time of the game but probably grows up to be 5'9 or so.

They’re pretty thin in general, but not without a hint of muscle, mostly from school activities.

I, personally, envision Kris as being biologically male, but that’s just me. Not something I hold onto as a hard-and-fast rule, mind you, and not something I’ll chastise people over not following.

Not so much biological in this case, but I can see Kris identifying as agender.  Or is just apathetic to the whole gender thing entirely and doesn’t really care how people refer to them as.  I tend to write them with they/them pronouns but I can see them not caring if people use he/him or she/her when talking about them.

Abilities and skills:

Despite their generally reserved nature, Kris is remarkably good at negotiating and, in some cases, outright manipulation of others.  But they often choose not to do the latter, mainly because that usually just means more trouble than it’s worth.

Very good at being quiet and slinking around, given their propensity for pranking others.

On a similar note, they’re very good at planning things in advance and working out all manner of schemes well beforehand.

In terms of combat prowess, however, they’ve only learned stuff from the various books, video games and anime they’ve consumed.  They’re not a trained swordsman or anything, and tend towards flashy moves, but it’s not like they’re expecting to stab anybody for realsies.

Has a fair bit of determination they can call upon, but not nearly as much as, say, Frisk or Chara would in their own world.  Generally this only comes out when they feel invested in something (such as the Dark World), but otherwise it’s kind of just the same sort of background levels a human like them would have.  More on that below.

His life and personality:

Honestly, we already know a lot about Kris’ home-life:  grew up in a loving family, then the parents split none-too-happily, then their brother Asriel left for college and they’ve been kind of alone ever since.

Spent a lot of time with Asriel in school and, particularly during and after the divorce, relied on him the most for emotional support.  So when Asriel left, they felt like their only friend had left, and they withdrew quite significantly.

Adopted at a very young age, since they seemed unaware that humans don’t normally grow horns.  So probably barely knew their biological parents, if at all.

Likely has some form of depression, as well as some mild sociopathic and/or psychopathic tendencies.  Not enough to be a major worry, but enough for them to be seen as the ‘creepy kid’.

Almost everything they have is a hand-me-down from Asriel - given that Asriel was probably generally bigger than them, their clothes are often quite big on them.  And unfortunately remind them almost always of their brother.

On the neglected end of child favouritism, with Asriel being shown a lot of love by Toriel and… well, no shortage of love given to Kris, but perhaps not as many displays of it.  Generally grew up expecting not to have much stuff so doesn’t often ask for things from others.  Which is why they found the stuff from the Dark World so important to them, and they loathe the Player for dropping it.

When they were younger and less emotionally withdrawn they were, in short, a little shit.  Pulling pranks, tormenting Noelle, and generally having very little impulse control.  All relatively harmless, but still with almost no way to stop it unless someone basically took them by the hand and said ‘hey no don’t do that’.

Now, a good way to describe them would be ‘apathetic’.  They no longer have any real motivation, no desire to do much except sleep, and generally don’t care about anything, wandering through life as it happens around them.

Ironically, that’s what makes them perfect for a vessel for the Player’s SOUL - they feel pretty much empty and devoid of purpose.  However, the issue with that is that after some time, Kris reacted poorly to it, which is a theory/thoughtdump for later on.

Actually really enjoys playing the piano, particularly fairly slow and soulful tunes.

Now again, this might be my bias showing, but I can almost imagine them getting on better with Asgore than Toriel.  Difference in hugs aside, it’s pretty clear Kris cares about them (putting the danny devit-egg in the fridge without player input being the strongest of the possible evidence I can think of at this point).  I can at least see them being deeply embarrassed by how Toriel seems to treat them like a young child still, and perhaps even resents her for it in a pretty typical teenage way.

Really, really, really likes dragons.  Probably quite liked drawing them too.  might also be a strong point as to why I ship them with susie but shhhhh we can talk about ships later

Generally doesn’t like talking to people.  Not much of a conversationalist, or likes interacting with others in general.  Probably was like that even before Asriel left.

Doesn’t express themselves much.  Like, at all.  Their face is almost perpetually tired-looking and they only give small gestures for reaction.  This is slightly different in the Dark World, where they actually do move their face - their mouth remains fairly steady, but their eyes carry most of the emotion.

Has no interest in the whole religion that Toriel and Asriel (latter is a probability as opposed to a guarantee) subscribe to, which probably puts them at odds with their mother.

As a friend/romantic interest:

Being the withdrawn, socially-awkward mess they are, I can see them being particularly apprehensive about getting close to anyone in all respects; mentally, physically and emotionally.

Will let the other person take the ‘lead’ in their friendship, and will generally follow along with whatever they do.

After a while they might get comfortable enough to really, fully unload all manner of heartache and personal stuff onto you, more as a way to get it off their chest.  Then, they’d probably finally start to be expressive around you.

If romance becomes involved, it’d be pretty much the same, except then they’d also feel more comfortable with physical contact.  Almost to the point of never letting go, but almost.

Probably wouldn’t take any form of abandonment too well either, and might frequently try to seek attention just so they can feel some kind of validation.  After a while they’d probably chill in the latter regard, but the first would still be something they always fear.

Really though just give them lots of affection and love (platonic or otherwise), be prepared to have an emotional wreck on your hands, and you’ll end up with a steadfast friend/partner who might do the occasional bad thing but genuinely means well.

Oh yeah, and get ready to deal with weird stuff with SOULs.

And them getting up in the middle of the night for snacks

[sailor-cresselia]

Zi-o 15: Raw: -concern intensifies-

AH. WELL THEN. THIS SURE IS AN EPISODE THAT I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YET. OH MY. A LOT OF STUFF TO UNPACK AND I CAN’T GET IT OPEN.

Woz is getting increasingly more casual in his recap room.

*frustrated sounds* I don’t know what Geiz is saying here, and I really really want to. But he’s clearly not okay with Tsukasa’s whole deal.

I’m getting the vibe of “I hate you. I hate you, but this other guy might actually be a bigger threat. We might actually have to... UGH. Work together to stop him.”

Also, like, absolutely none of these people – not Tsukiyomi and Geiz, and not the Time Jackers – have the right to get on Sougo’s case about altering the timeline during the past few arcs. That is literally what all of them except maybe Woz are doing. Constantly. It is their entire goal.

Ooh, so Sougo is about to explain that ‘I’ve always dreamed of being a king’ thing he’s got going on?

Or, no, no he’s not, because Woz is stepping in to deflect the topic.

Woz is as aware as the audience that the single most efficient way to clear Sougo’s uncle from the area for an extended period of time is to give him a clock to fix. It’s a little sad, actually.

Not sad enough to make me trust either of them, though.

Sougo: So, are you going to explain why you joined the Time Jackers?

Woz: Eh, maybe. But I thought you’d like to know about the trouble going on outside right now. ;)

WHAT THE FLYING F ARE THOSE.

It makes complete sense that they’re sent by Oma Zi-o. They look like fancier, more ‘modern’ versions of the Time Mazines.

And also seem to be triggering a fair amount of PTSD for Geiz.

(The ~magenta~ lines give them a very Cyber-Decade aesthetic.)

Oh. Oh dear.

SOUGO HAS SEEN THEM IN HIS DREAMS.

...the un-burning page is back at the end of the OP. It was definitely the front-on explosions in 14. Huh.

… I’m gonna be doing an OP comparison soon, aren’t I?

(That’s actually really good english on the feed Tsukuyomi’s watching. A-, Toei. I also noticed that she’s using a regular smartphone like Sougo is.)

(and that it’s pink)

“You said you dreamed about them. What do you mean?” (Concerned Geiz is concerned.)

o.o

O.O

O.O

Those things are why Sougo’s wanted to become a king. Because he kept dreaming about them destroying everything, over and over, and always with a seriously sketchy (my term, not his) man telling him… I think it’s basically “If you want to avoid this, if you want to save everyone, become a king.”

This is absolutely terrifying. No wonder the noodle is so dead-set on becoming a beloved king.

Yup, time to panic. That thing is terrifying, too. That’s… what, a robotic enforcer?

“Oma Zi-o Sama.” I don’t think that even Woz uses ‘sama’ for Sougo, for either his present or future versions. He constantly uses ‘waga maou’ and ‘oma zi-o’, but I don’t recall him using -sama. huh.

Aaaaaaaa! That’s some serious ‘identify and eliminate’ going on there.

(with some pretty decent english in the enforcers Heads Up Display, too. That A- from earlier is upgraded to a solid A, Toei. Good going.)

Okay, since I have no idea what is going on with either of the two Time Jacker scenes, I’m going to have to skip them for now. All I can say is that Tsukasa’s not pleased with the current turn of events. And I’m still not pleased with that flashing light in his apartment.

Okay, okay. so.

I think what I’m hearing is...

“We’re going to have to be prepared to take him out. I’m a soldier, remember? I was starting to believe maybe your way would work. That maybe he wouldn’t become Oma Zi-o after all. Maybe he could pull off that ‘most beloved overlord’ idea. But it’s not working. I have to be a soldier.”

(oh, god, earlier in the episode, at breakfast… was he trying to convince Sougo to give up the belt? Was that a last-ditch effort? Geiz… did you think something was about to happen?)

You know, I don’t think we’ve ever seen either Sougo or Geiz’s transformations from behind before now. In motion, yeah, in terrible green-screen sometimes, like last episode… but never completely from behind.

And I’m starting to really think that the visuals of Geiz’s transformation reflect on his current emotional state or something. Because sometimes the display is a lot darker than other times. When he transformed in Helheim, it was almost completely black, but it was back to it’s usual medium-grey both during the Ghost arc and right here, in the warehouse, with him and Tsukuyomi turning away from each other.

Where’d Tsukuyomi get knocked to? Is she okay? I know that the Enforcer attacking Geiz takes priority, and that the Enforcer acknowledging that Sougo is his boss and ignoring him anyway takes just as much priority, but I’m not liking Tsukuyomi’s odds right now.

...Sougo’s transformation dial is a lot more transparent than usual, isn’t it?

Get out of here, Tsukasa, let Sougo help Geiz!

This fight is really interesting, though. This is the first time that either of the current kids have seen Decade as Decade. He’s… what, he’s asking why Sougo would help Geiz?

(cue Zero’s “What am I fighting for?!” scream here)

Sougo is in obvious, actual pain. None of the fights have really had him deal with that – my earlier comments about ‘this kid is tougher than he looks’ still stand. The only hits that have done enough damage to knock him down long-term are the ones from Decade. The ones that are from an actual Rider.

And Sougo’s reaction to Decade swapping into Build… hm.

“You’re using Build? In that case...” He activates the watch, blocks Decade’s sword one-armed, and spins his belt with the other hand.  And he doesn’t waste any time inserting the Build watch – Decade immediately asks “Oh, so you’re using my watch?” “Not just that.”

When Sougo lands a solid punch, it has the same effects that the real Rabbit-Tank Sparkling would have. And manages to knock Decade back.

… both of those finishers were right. Decade’s and Sougo’s. I mean, the sparkling finisher was smaller than the regular one, but they’re inside, and it was executed correctly.

What was it I said last episode? That when he stops being a bootleg, we’re in trouble?

I think we’re in trouble.

Both Woz and Tsukasa are saying “See? You can’t fight fate, you and Geiz will always be enemies. This enforcer that is trying to hurt him leapt to your defense.”

Sougo is incredibly not okay with this. He really doesn’t want to be evil, you guys.

“Oh, you think you can be a good demon king? Here. Take a look at your future.” Tsukasa opens one of his weird portals (I have not seen decade) and straight up shoots Sougo in the back to knock him through it.

And that’s interesting, but so is the next part. He knocks the enforcer away from Geiz, and drags Geiz off. “Come on!”

What’s your game, Tsukasa?

(Sure, now Woz is okay with Sougo meeting with a version of himself from elsewhen.)

No comments on the Tsukasa, Geiz and Woz scene from me; I can’t tell enough of what’s being said to say anything aside from Geiz is not okay with any of this.

Sougo’s not okay with 2068, either.

(How long has Oma Zi-O been in power, anyway?)

And what the heck was that that just teleported Sougo and Tsukuyomi to Oma Zi-o?!

(Is that from Ryuki or something? It looks like a dragon of some sort, and I think it’s the right color scheme, but I know absolutely jack all about early Heisei. It sounded like a train, though.)

I don’t feel confident commenting on the Sougo and Oma Zi-O conversation, either. Not outside of the next few lines.

Sougo is absolutely not okay with anything happening today.

I think... did Oma Zi-O send the dreams to young!Sougo? It sure sounds like it. Seeing the trauma he’s clearly inflicting on himself by doing that, I can safely say that that is not okay.

(I’m having King Endymion from Sailor Moon R flashbacks, guys.)

Sougo. Honey. You aren’t going to win this fight. He’s clearly older and more experienced. He has all of the same powers, but in the more concentrated watch form - you can only get to the ones you’re using with the HeiSaber. He doesn’t even have to use the watches in a normal fashion to beat you – he’s just activating the watch and redirecting your attacks. You can’t win here.

(And seeing the dragon return confirms for me, the person who hasn’t seen anything pre-W, that it is, in fact, from Ryuki.)

Oma Zi-O’s belt still reads 2018. That’s not a good sign for our Sougo not being him someday.

What is he saying about our Sougo’s belt, though? Is he saying that “you can’t win with that version”?

Is he saying “That’s the wrong belt”?

History is written by the winners, and nobody else has read Woz’s book. And Woz is the one who gave that belt to Sougo, and on a freaking velvet pillow at that.

Geiz was saying something about the belt earlier, and Oma Zi-o’s belt is gold and black, like the rest of his armor.

(Oh dear.)

That preview isn’t doing any favors to the outlook of Sougo’s emotional state.

(Oh dear.)

[kpopeo-blog]

힘

Prompt: He was your strength, your power. He was your soulmate, the one you were fated to be with, and you stuck to him until you couldn’t anymore.

oneshot // fluff // angst // 5k words // unedited

a/n: a silly little thing i wrote while also trying to cram my other requirements. it’s pointless, but i decided to post it, anyway. inspired by namjoon’s letter, even if i forgot about the main idea. i just remembered, “be that ‘him’, who is also strong.”

freshman year

“Yah, yah, stop it, Yoosung,” you said, swatting the boy away when he tried to feed you mushrooms, something you despised with your very being. He dropped the mushroom, thankfully, on his bowl. Your other friend, Hwaein, looked at you two with a big grin.

You got distracted by her suspiciously large grin, and when you opened your mouth to say something, some slimy thing was placed in your mouth, on your tongue, right where you can taste it. Almost immediately, you spit it out, trying to mask the taste with some coke. Hwaein and Yoosung burst out laughing at your reaction, and you glared at them.

“Ah, you guys are so annoying...” you muttered, wiping your mouth with a napkin.

“What was that, (Y/N)ie? How did the mushroom taste?” Hwaein asked in a teasing tone. You rolled your eyes at them, and stood up. The girl stopped laughing and her mouth formed a pout. “Aww, don't be so down. We were just joking.”

“I'm going to the comfort room,” you announced, and when you were halfway through the diner because for some reason, the comfort rooms were at the back, you collided into someone. Your face immediately hurt, and you rubbed your face while stuttering out apologies of your own.

“I'm so, so sorry, oh no... ” you said, checking if he had any spills on his body or any food he dropped. When you checked that there were none, you had looked up into his eyes. They were a gentle dark brown, and you could see that he was checking if you were injured or anything. You felt a slight spark when he met your eyes as well. “Are you okay?”

“I'm supposed to ask if you're okay,” he said, a small twinkle of something in his eyes. The words sounded familiar, and, when your brain was trying to remember, your sleeve rode up, the same words plastered on your wrist. His eyes shifted to your arm, and you followed his gaze. And suddenly, you remembered.

How could you even forget your own soulmate's first words to you?

“Ah—I...” you felt heat creep up your neck, and in no time, your cheeks were red. He probably memorized the words that were plastered onto his own wrist, unlike you. “I'm (L/N) (Y/N).”

“I'm Yoon Jeonghan,” he told you, a small smile adorning his face and making your heart flutter. You smiled back at him, and somehow, you knew that memories with him would be priceless. He seemed to be thinking of something else, until he finally spoke again. “Would you... like to get coffee this Saturday? Are you free by then?”

“Yeah, I would like that,” you said. Once the two of you exchanged numbers, you went back to your seat after going to the comfort room. Jeonghan was nowhere to be seen, and you conluded that he left. Yoosung prodded at you.

“You're glowing. What, did something happen?” he asked. Of course you looked like you were glowing, you just met your soulmate. And it was so...

“Dreamy.”

“What?”

“Dreamy. That's what I'll use to describe his eyes,” you said, taking a seat and looking out the window. Your mind drifted back to his eyes, his face, and the way he smiled. The butterflies in your stomach were making a mess again, and this time, it was finally because of your soulmate.

“What's gotten into you?” Hwaein asked, reaching from across the table to place a hand on your forehead. She raised an eyebrow at you. Your temperature seemed fine, but your eyes had a faraway look in them. And you were just describing someone's... eyes. She gasped. “No way. You met your soulmate, didn't you? Oh my god, she's not responding... Yoosung, she met the one!”

You met with Jeonghan that weekend as promised, in the cafe that served the best cinnamon rolls and had the best ambiance for meet-ups. It was like a dream-come-true, and your soulmate looked dashing. Apparently, he was a trainee at PLEDIS, and he even invited you to watch a show called Seventeen TV. You giggled at his advertisment.

“Okay, I'll be sure to watch it, Jeonghan-ssi,” you said, deciding to humor him and go along with it, but even you knew that when you got home, you'd be opening your laptop and looking for a show like that. It was somehow so easy to forget he was your soulmate, and you treated him like a new friend.

“You'll like seeing me on screen,” he said, once again shamelessly promoting himself. Under that gentle and caring demeanor, there was really just a guy who wanted to be pampered, too, and it made you feel special now that he was showing this side to you so quickly. Maybe it was because you were his one and only soulmate. “Hey, this is awkward... but I gotta go. I'll see you next week, maybe?”

Your freshman year ended with you and Jeonghan in giggles, with him presenting some gifts during Valentine's and you presenting him chocolates that weren't too sweet, as he liked, on White Day. By the end of the spring semester, you two would walk around with hands linked together and small, shy “I love you”s that were accompanied with blushes and the two of you would promise to see each other, despite the clashing schedules.

sophomore year

“How was class today?” Jeonghan asked as soon as you got beside him, smiling at you with those gentle and caring eyes that you grew to adore. You found his hand and squeezed it.

“It was alright, thank you,” you said, giving him a smile that rivalled his. You played with his hand while walking to your apartment, and you were suddenly confused as to why he was here. “Wait, aren't you supposed to be training right now? Why are you here? How did you pick me up at school? And why are we walking to my apartment?”

He stopped walking and he tapped on your nose. “Too many questions, (Y/N)ie. I'm given off-days from time to time, too, you know,” he said. He started walking again without warning, and you had to catch up to him by running. You tugged on the sleeve of his jacket that was perfect for the crisp autumn weather.

“I know this is such a downer, but it's almost midterms for the fall semester, and... I wanted some help, you know? Could you... help me some time?” you asked. You knew it was such a boring activity, and you immediately regretted asking him. Jeonghan was your boyfriend, not your classmate! You could've asked Hwaein, or--

“Of course,” he said, tilting his head that made him look so cute and endearing, but you also knew that he was probably curious about your expression right now. You had a tendency to display your feelings and emotions, and he might've sensed your hesitation. “What's wrong with that?”

“It's just that it's so boring, and it's probably a burden, anyway,” you said automatically, and you almost wanted to curl up into a ball. You didn't mean for your thoughts to get out, especially those ones. “I, uh, meant...”

He gripped your hand tightly. “Don't say that,” he said, a sad tone in his voice but you didn't really notice it. You were still too busy mulling over your mistake and his words startled you. ���You're not a burden to me, and I enjoy being with you. Even if it's just studying. You have to study for your midterms, anyway. You enjoy that 4.0 GPA, and if you still want to, you have to study.”

“Thank you,” you said in a hushed tone, still too embarrassed to say anything else. He heard it, and he just held your hand tighter. He never wanted you to feel that you were a burden to him, or even just think about it.

A week after you asked him about, they were thankfully given more free time. The why always lingered in Jeonghan's thoughts, but he knew better than to question it. After all, it was more time to see you. He texted you, telling you that he was free and ready to review with you. You replied with a “Hannie! Oh, thank you so much! Let's meet up in front of the apartment, okay? I love you!” and he mentally read it with your voice.

As much as he was shy about it, your confessions made his heart pound and his words get all tangled up together, but he loved everything about it. He loved everything about you, he decided. He bought some food from the convenience store, and patiently wait for you in front of the apartment, like what you told him to do.

You eventually showed up, panting and gasping for air. He stood up from the bench he was sitting on, and he coaxed you into sitting with him. “I...ah! Ran all the way,” you confessed, giving him a proud smile. “'I'm fit now! I didn't want to keep you waiting.”

“Aish, you're not fit, you're exhausted,” he said, waiting for you to breathe normally before handing you a drink from the bag of food he had bought. “Here, drink some. When you're ready, let's go and study, hmm?”

During that study session, you told him about the annual Halloween party at your friend's house, and invited him. You two figured you would go in a couple costume, and the two of you were still thinking of what to wear after studying for midterms. A brilliant idea popped up into your head as Jeonghan was cooking dinner for both of you.

When you arrived at Sunhee's party, your friends couldn't help but applaud your choice: you were a blanket, and Jeonghan was a pillow. A concept that both of you appreciated because your love of sleeping was overwhelming. Saeyoung, a mutual friend of Yoosung and yourself, approached the two of you.

“Well, if it's isn't (Y/N)!” he greeted, a bag of the chips he loved so much in his hands. He recently came back from schooling abroad, but now that he was here, you were genuinely excited to see him. “Oh, it's your soulmate, too! I've only heard about him in calls with Yoosung.”

“Ha! He's even better in real life,” you said, momentarily forgetting that your boyfriend was right there. You were about to give him more comments when Jeonghan cleared his throat.

“I never knew you thought of me that way, (Y/N),” he teased, and you turned red from embarrassment. “Thank you.”

“Ick, don't do this in front of me,” Saeyoung said, feigning a disgusted face. “Chanmyeonnie hasn't arrived yet, so excuse me if I'm bitter,” and waltzed away, leaving you and Jeonghan alone in the crowd.

The sophomore year drew to an end when you studied for the spring midterms again, of course with Jeonghan, and you maintained that 4.00 GPA that you worked hard for. While you were proud of yourself, you were proud of Jeonghan, too, for sticking with you and tolerating you and your existence. Some soulmate he was.

junior year

You and Jeonghan spent less time with each other now, since he had officially made his debut with a group called Seventeen, and in no time, you were a fan. You always loved Jeonghan's voice, and now that he was becoming an idol himself, you felt as if you two had come a long way. You snapped out of your thoughts when Jeonghan's voice brought you back to life.

“Jagi?” he called out, his sleepy voice bringing you of out your own sleepy trance. “It's getting late already. Why don't I meet with you tomorrow, hm? You should get some sleep. I love you.”

You barely processed the words he had just said, but you did hear the last three words. You were on the verge of falling asleep again before you mumbled out a thick “I love you,” that was barely recognizeable. Jeonghan smiled at you fondly before saying “I love you” back and hanging up. Just as the screen of his laptop turned off, Joshua came into the room, lookking confused as to why Jeonghan was still awake when the latter was usually asleep.

“Jeonghan?” Joshua called out, making Jeonghan's head turn to his direction. “Was that (Y/N) just now?”

Jeonghan's mood darkened, knowing how Joshua would react to him talking to you. The company always urged Jeonghan to break up with you, pressuring him because it was always either you or his career. It just so happened that even Joshua would also tell him to stop seeing you. It hurt his heart everytime, but he always wanted to push the idea away and focus on both his career and you.

“You know what PLEDIS always says, Jeonghan,” Joshua said, crossing his arms and giving the boy on the bed a disappointed look. “And I don't know how I'd react to them kicking you out of the group because... because of her.”

“You don't understand, Joshua,” Jeonghan said, slowly getting his frustration and anger to build up. Angry at the company, angry at Joshua, and angry at the circumstances. “(Y/N)'s my soulmate. Even now, we have to see each other every now and then or else we'll get soulsick. She's my everything, can't you see? I love her, and you know that.”

“But you also love your career. You can't keep on avoiding it, Jeonghan. One day, the head will personally come here and tell you everything I've reminded you about,” Joshua retorted, turning his back on Jeonghan and finally exiting the room again. Jeonghan huffed. Why did he even come in there, anyway?

He thought back to Joshua's words. No. He did not want to stop seeing you, especially when you were a year closer to graduating. He wanted to be there when you graduated. He wanted to be there when you reached a milestone in life, and he wanted to be there to support your life after school. He wanted to continue being with you, his soulmate.

You were his soulmate after all, and he was yours. But was there a way to stop being soulsick when the two of you were away for so long?

Jeonghan shook his head, not even wanting to know the answer to that question, and quickly willed himself to sleep. Joshua hasn't even gotten the chance to meet his soulmate anyway, who was he to judge how it would feel to have a soulmate?

“(Y/N)ie! How are things going?” Saeyoung exclaimed, his arms linked with Chanmyeon's. The girl greeted you silently with a nod of her head, but she still smiled at you. Chanmyeon was an odd girl, usually quiet but she had the strangest things to say. Nevertheless, you took a liking to her, since she got Saeyoung out of a bad mood and always made him happy. The two were clearly soulmates.

“I'm fine, and I could see that you and Chanmyeon are doing well, too,” you cooed. You were waiting for Hwaein and Yoosung—they always took too long, damn it, but they'd always show up late with ruffled clothes and unruly hair. Saeyoung and you rolled your eyes at them, but Chanmyeon just blushed. “Huh, look at these two lovebirds. C'mon, we're going to miss the Christmas marathon the cinema is holding.”

“Why? Where's Jeonghan, anyway?” Hwaein asked. You felt your heart drop at the mention of the name, and the answer was stuck in your throat. He bailed out, said he was too busy, you wanted to say, but you knew better than to antagonize him in that way.

“He had to take care of some things,” even you cringed at the words, but you were quick to cover it up. “Don't worry, he said he'll be home by Christmas eve. He wouldn't miss Christmas with me for anything, you know.”

“You can always tell us if he's ignoring you, (Y/N),” Yoosung said. “Hwaein gets real angry whenever I ditch her, so I feel like you're angry and hurt, too. Our presence isn't as good as a soulmate's, but hey, at least we're here to cheer you up.”

You smiled at his offer, but you waved your hand as if to dismiss the topic. “It's really alright. Now, let's go see those movies!”

Jeonghan did appear on Christmas eve, but he seemed to be more distracted than ever. You didn't nag him about it, even though you were concerned, because you didn't want to be that clingy girlfriend. Eventually, though, you had to ask him about it.

Junior year ended with a faraway look in your boyfriend's eyes, and a doubting look in yours. However, you're not supposed to doubt him, since you were soulmates after all. The two of you were fated to be together, and you weren't as unlucky as the people who had soulmates that had passed away or had fallen in love with the wrong people. You were thankful for that, and you hoped he was, too.

senior year

To say you were stressed was an understatement. You were beyond just frazzled, and you were so close to pulling all your hair out when your professor squeezed in just another presentation last-minute the day before your oral defense for the thesis. You were close to tears, and even if Hwaein and Yoosung tried their best to console you, all you wanted were Jeonghan's comforting words.

Speaking of Jeonghan...

He still hasn't replied to your text that you sent a couple of hours ago, which was slowly becoming normal for both of you. Surprisingly, you weren't starting to get soulsick, unlike that time you didn't see him for two days and suddenly you felt sick. It was like your connection to Jeonghan was being ripped apart, piece by piece, and the worst thing was it wasn't even on top of your priorities now.

After all, it didn't seem like you were on top of priorities either. Seventeen was growing in popularity, and it would only make sense he's busy promoting and trying to balance a lot of things in his life. Not that he couldn't, but you knew it was hard being an idol. Still, you wished he would sometimes spend time with you, even call for at least 3 minutes before leaving again. But now? He wouldn't even talk to you, and this had been going on for, you don't know, weeks?

Your phone buzzed just as you finished the presentation, and your eyes widened at the time: 1:05 am. And your jaw dropped when you saw that Jeonghan texted you back, even at an ungodly hour.

From: Hannie

Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't able to reply. Can we just talk tomorrow morning?

You tried your best not to cry, but you were tired, stressed, and ready to bitch to him when he just... rejects it? You felt hot tears well up, and you guessed that it was better if you didn't reply, anyway. You were too drained for this, for dealing with him.

You would just take what you can get from Hwaein and Yoosung.

The next day wasn't any better. Your presentation had gone well, and so did your oral defense, but Jeonghan's message still left you feeling empty. Hwaein was busy, too, especially with all the stress and requirements from her even worse professors. Yoosung was your best bet right now, but watching him play LoLoL was starting to get boring, as well.

You settled for watching dramas on your laptop, sick of your own drama and life. You watched as a couple's love bloomed, and when it withered, they tried their very best to revive it. Alas, the guy got tired, and left the girl for good. After the short 5 episodes, you were crying your eyes out for the girl, and it got you thinking, what if this happened to me and Jeonghan? Will he, too, leave me alone for good?

You wiped your tears, and cocooning yourself with your soft throw blanket, you stayed in bed like that for a while. The thought of Jeonghan leaving you made you feel numb, and it made you wonder if you could ever live without him.

He barely isn't here anymore, anyway.

“You still haven't broken up with her?”

Jeonghan didn't want this. He didn't want to feel forced to look at the head of PLEDIS, and he didn't want to be forced to choose between his soulmate and his dream. Sure, he wasn't able to see you at all because of his dream, but he knew that even in the middle of all this chaos, he still loved you.

“You know you are jeopardizing your position in Seventeen, yes?” the man asked again. Jeonghan nodded, too anxious to say anything. “Well, I don't want to be that person to make you choose, but what will it be, Jeonghan?”

Jeonghan wanted to screw his eyes shut and drown everything out. Everything boiled down to this moment; everything he worked for and hoped for and he would throw one away just to save the other. And he knew that even if he missed you dearly, he knew that you wouldn't feel proud of him if he chose you over his career. He imagined your sad smile, your eyes that would try and mask the disappointment, and his voice almost faltered when he spoke.

“I'll make sure to leave her as soon as tomorrow.”

You were nervous. Jeonghan had called later that night, after your little drama session, and asked you to meet with him in the park tomorrow morning. You almost didn't reply, but managed to get out a “yes” before he hung up. He hadn't called you or anything until now, and he hadn't especially asked you out on a long time.

Was this it? Was he finally making an effort to revive this withering relationship? You wondered as you walked to the park that morning, hands inside the pockets of your hoodie. From a distance, you could see his figure on a bench. His form was a shape you'd recognize anywhere, and it automatically brought a smile to your face.

You would still be smiling if you hadn't noticed the morose look in his eyes. And finally, you were able to name that distant look you've been seeing since last year. Your mood sank, matching the expression that his eyes had.

“Hannie? What's wrong?” you asked, resisting the urge to place a hand on his shoulder. “'You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“(Y/N),” he started, and you had inkling of what was he going to say. You wanted to avert your gaze, but as if you wanted to play a cruel joke on yourself, you wanted to see his expression when he said it. “I... I want to break up.”

There was it. The slow, but sure breaking of your heart when you heard those words. You wondered why you didn't look away at first, but it hurt to see when he wasn't even crying and you could feel the first few drops on your face already.

“Why?” you heard your voice crack, but you were somehow still steeling yourself for the answer. Jeonghan's eyes finally broke contact with yours, and you knew that it wasn't going to be such a nice answer.

“I fell out of love with you, (Y/N),” he said. “I don't know when, but... I did.”

You bit your tongue, trying to not answer back. You realized you wouldn't be able to get any words out other than an “okay”, anyway, especially with that lump that formed in your throat. You sniffed, bowing and leaving the park before you could cause a scene. It was so anticlimactic, so disappointing, and you wished your relationship didn't end like this with him.

When you had disappeared from Jeonghan's sight, though, he finally let out a small sob, and then the huge drops of tears came rolling down his cheeks. He didn't mean to hurt you, or to tell you that. He had meant to tell the truth, but for some reason, his words didn't match with the ones he wanted to say. He wanted to scream your name, call you back and hold you in his arms, and then reassure you that he would never fall out of love with you.

He knew that you were probably out there, beyond stressed and not knowing what to do anymore, and he felt even guiltier. He didn't deserve you. Why was he your soulmate? He ruined you a month before your graduation, too. A milestone he said he'd celebrate with you, and be proud of you when you finally finished. And the thought made him cry harder, not caring about the stares of strangers in the park.

He promised to love you forever, and even if you were convinced he didn't anymore, he knew that he would still continue to love you.

present

You sat in a booth of the quaint cafe that sold not only the best cinnamon rolls, but they also mastered the art of making banana cakes. Everytime you came here, you'd remember when you and Jeonghan first had a date. You smiled sadly at the memory, which was a long time ago and was only just a memory now. You couldn't relive it anymore even if you wanted to.

It was midnight, yet the cafe didn't close until the wee hours of the morning, open for the people who were nocturnal or the people who needed a quiet place to think. There were at most three or four customers inside, with you included. A young couple was sitting in the back, talking to each other, and another man was sitting in a booth, engrossed in a book that was in his hands.

The usual night shift waiter, Gayeon, brought you a plate of a cinnamon roll that you didn't remember paying for. “Don't worry, it's on me,” he said, winking at you and sliding the cake to you. “You stay here sometimes, and until such hours, too. I bet you needed this food.”

“Thank you,” you told him, and he walked away, leaving you alone once more. You stared at the food, ready to eat it. As soon as you cut a piece of it, though, the bell of the cafe tinkled, and you automatically looked up to see who it was.

You didn't even think twice about trying to seclude yourself from his view as much as possible, squeezing in deeper into the booth. You heard that voice order something, and there was a soft patter of feet that stopped at your booth.

“(Y/N)-ssi,” the voice greeted, and you felt obligated to look up and stare at those same gentle eyes that held the somber look two years ago. “Can I sit here?”

You stared at him, not trusting your voice to speak, and yet he sat across you. His gaze was powerful this time, though, and he was able to hold yours. And suddenly, you felt the anger rise within you. You were even shocked when he had the audacity to even greet you as if nothing ever happened between the two of you.

“How are you--”

“How dare you,” you spat out, and you desperately wished you would stop before you caused a scene, but you needed this. The proper closure that Jeonghan neglected to give you was going to be wrenched out of him. “How dare you come here and think you can do whatever the fuck you want?”

“I...” his soft voice trailed off, leaving you more frustrated and confused.

“You—you were supposed to be my soulmate,” you said, this time the one to have a strong gaze. “And you tell me you fell out of love? Tell me, what was it? What made you fall out of love with me?”

“You won't understand, (Y/N)-ssi,” Jeonghan said, flinching when you scoffed.

“Like hell I would, Yoon Jeonghan!” you said, your words dripping with venom. “You left me! I couldn't think straight for weeks, and when it was time for graduation, I was barely happy. This—this is all your fault! You don't leave someone with an explanation, Jeonghan, it'll make them think they've done something wrong their whole lives!”

“You haven't done anything wrong, (Y/N)!” he finally retorted. You immediately shut up, startled by the sudden outburst. You were still quietly fuming, but you thought it's be better if you listened to him now. “I was the one who was in the wrong. They forced me to choose between you and my career! I wanted to choose you, but I knew you'd be disappointed that I never got my dream because of you!

“Even for months after we broke up, I couldn't stop having nightmares about you. They'd start out sweet and innocent, but then they'd turn horrifying. The members... they keep on saying that I'd sometimes scream your name in my sleep, too. If you thought I wasn't suffering, then you're... wrong.” he said. He took in the tears that were rolling down your previously rosy cheeks, and he wonders if he's the reason why there weren't any colors left.

“I have never stopped loving you, (Y/N). No matter what the company makes me do, because in the end, I'll always be yours. Falling out of love with you was a lie, and I didn't even know why I said it,” Jeonghan confessed. “I love you so much it hurts. It felt incredibly numbing when I thought I'd lost you, my soulmate, forever.”

As you cried, you felt his arms wrap around you in a warm, comforting embrace. You cried harder in his arms, and he just held you tighter. It was as if the spark that you felt when you first met was there again. “Yoon J-Jeonghan, I hate you so much.”

He felt his heart drop again, and the unwelcomed heaviness settled in the pit of his stomach. “I'm really sorry, (Y/N). I promise I'll be better,” he said. He would take whatever you'd give, even if you didn't want him back. “... will you take me back, (Y/N)?”

You choked on a sob before punching his back lightly. “God, you're such an idiot. I... don't know if I have the energy to let you, Jeonghan,” you said. “You're still an idol, and one with growing popularity. PLEDIS won't agree to this.”

“I know, but this time, I want to make it work. An effort to make it work,” Jeonghan said. “PLEDIS saw how much it affected me, anyway. We are soulmates after all.”

You smiled at him, despite the runny nose and the tear streaks on your cheeks. “I'm willing to let you try again, Jeonghan.”

The night ended with you in his arms again, hanging out in your apartment after the cafe had to close down for the night. The two of you were emotionally and physically drained, and resorted to just lying down on your bed. You didn't care if the two of you weren't together again yet, you just wanted to feel safe in his arms again.

He was your both your strength and weakness, after all.

[oh-my-otome]

I absolutely adore your thoughts on the psychological health within the SLBP characters! If you don’t mind, could you scale MidC, DtL, and IkeSen (pick whichever game you want!), too? If it’s not too much to ask ☺️

Hello, Precious! Let’s do all three!

Again, purely for fun! And, like the last time, there will be SPOILERS!

0=unstable, 50=borderline, 100=normal

MidCin, you’re up!

Louis (65):

Tsunderes, kuuderes and yanderes, by design, are not normal to begin with, because their logic only makes sense to themselves. 

Louis being both a kuudere and a yandere are what take his score down.

Frequently thinking it to himself, and sometimes saying it out loud, Louis has obsessive thoughts about wanting to keep his love interest to himself, and fantasizes about keeping her somewhere where only he can see.

He also thinks that acting like a frigid ass, like the nobles, will somehow save her from the nobles. 

Even though Louis falls deeply in love with the princess, he will also lie to her face without a hint of hesitation, undermine her hard work, and jeopardize the stability of the monarchy.

He also entertains a suicidal fantasy, and attempts to see it through.

Sid (80):

Even though he lies for a living, Sid praises honesty when it comes to his inner circle.

He has no qualms teasing Louis left and right, because he’s made it known to Louis that he wants to save him from himself. 

Finding himself trapped in a loveless engagement, Sid makes sure that his fiancée knows ahead of time that he doesn’t love her and never will. He gives her the chance to break it off, even making sure that she understands that he will take other lovers, and is only with her to get information about her father.

Because Sid always has to be “on,” in order to take advantage of any kind of situation, so that he gets the information he needs to do his job, Sid sometimes has a problem with reigning it in and just being himself– and not his trickster alter ego.

This causes communication problems between him and princess, but Sid always knows how to smooth it over.

In every case where parents are involved, in MidCin, Sid has the most positive and supporting relationship with his. 

He is close to his adopted father, who always has his back, and builds a positive relationship with his estranged parents.

Giles (70):

Anything– and I do mean A N Y T H I N G ! –that the princess does, whether positive or negative reflects on Giles. And I mean that the princess’ reactions reflect on Giles as a person and on his capacity as a Chamberlain who knows what he’s doing. 

We all give him crap for it, but one small mishap from princess could realistically cost Giles his entire life’s work, since the first thing out of anyone’s mouth would be to question why she wasn’t taught and trained better– which isn’t Leo’s job, but Giles’.

And “well, I told her not to!” isn’t a valid answer. It’s Giles’ job to ensure.

Understandably, we can see why he has a vested interest in breathing down Princess’ neck, all the time. It’s also why he’s always so stressed out, and persnickety.

To add to that, his family life is complicated, leaving him depressed and estranged. 

Giles is also sickly, and prone to bouts of fever, so his plate is quite full.

He works himself to the bone, and cant even get a decent amount of rest due to both lack of time, and a weak body.

Fortunately, Giles’ strong character keeps him running, even we he wants nothing more than to crawl into bed and cuddle up with his cat. 

Always able to be depended on, one would never know from looking at him that he’s hiding so much turmoil inside.

Alyn (75):

His biggest “quirk” is that he hates tomatoes. who can blame him

He’s pretty damn normal, aside from his random and intense one-sided feud with his twin brother, Leo. 

Alyn knows that his brother needs help, but doesn’t really do much to facilitate that, beyond throwing a few words of encouragement at his brother’s girlfriend.

His attitude toward Leo’s anguish is basically the embodiment of the phrase: “like pouring water on a drowning man.”

However, when he’s needed, Alyn will be there in a pinch, ready to make good on his promise to protect.

Although physically strong, he can be a bit of a pushover under the right conditions.

Leo (50):

You would think for someone who has women climbing into trebuchets in order to launch themselves at him, that Leo would be a little smoother than he is. 

What brings his score down so low is that Leo’s backstory isn’t just a backstory– it’s right there with him in the present. 

He (and Alyn) experience a trauma so deep that it continues into adulthood.

As such, Leo entertains the dangerous idea of pre-meditated murder in the hope of avenging his family, not realizing that he’s also contributing to its destruction.

Byron (65):

It’s supposed to be looked at as a way to get to know him, but not being aware of one’s own feelings– positive, negative, or neutral –and questioning whether it is “okay” to feel them, or express them, is neither normal nor cute.

Byron is also given to whims, either not giving a damn at all what the nobles say, or purposefully putting them in their place with ostentatious displays of affection.

Byron is very sweet to his romantic interest, but is also coldly indifferent to others who are close to him. 

He understands that he wields incredible power, but he’s not above making his own brother (Nico), another king (Alyn), and a close friend (Louis) essentially beg on their hands and knees before he’ll lift a finger to help them.

He can also be unnervingly detached, such as when he’s attacked in broad daylight and just shrugs it off while his best friend throws himself bodily in the way to block a sword.

Byron may not like his father, but the apple didn’t exactly fall far from the tree, either. 

They may not be exactly alike, as one wouldn’t expect them to be– they’re two different people –but he is definitely Gerald Wagner’s son, by blood and to some extent, personality.

Nico (65):

When the only thing that stops you from murdering a man in the middle of the woods is that your brother and his friend arrived just in time to prevent it, because they didn’t have much trouble following the trail of other people’s blood that you’ve been leaving, have a seat because you’re not normal.

Nico started out his young life as the bastard son of a king, who was forced by circumstances outside of his control to survive on the streets. 

Even when he was taken in by his brother, Nico was forced to live in two different worlds: in the light as someone that everyone in the castle can see and here, and know that he’s there, but also in the shadows, as his relationship to the royal family was still kept secret.

In that sense, the sins of the father were carried on by one of his sons, Byron, who wanted to rescue his brother, but also treated him to some extent like the nobles who had chased Nico and his mother from the castle.

Nico says himself that no one really takes him seriously about anything, and that his opinions don’t matter. 

Albert is very comfortable with making Nico his whipping boy right in front of Byron.

Byron, for his part, barely ever defends his brother.

All of this can’t be easy for Nico, who confesses to the first person he crushes on.

Not only that, he goes way out of his way, almost killing himself, to protect the person who truly loves him, and risks displacing a monarchy to ensure that he can maintain his relationship.

Albert (75):

Albert’s flippant nature stems from the fact that no one’s checked his ass, before Princess. 

If not for her, he would continue on forever, bowing and scraping before his king, without realizing that there can be loyalty beyond fealty, and devotion that transcends admiration and patriotism.

Through love, Albert comes to understand trust and forgiveness, and how to handle one’s emotions.

Albert likes to plan for every situation, but as a tsundere, he is also reactionary.

Robert (65):

Robert’s idea of dealing with the past is never talking about it, ever, which is neither helpful nor healthy.

He also likes to literally run away from his problems, and is just fine with up and leaving at a moment’s notice, with no regard for how that might potentially unnerve, frighten, or traumatize another person– in his case, a group of four specific individuals, all still technically children, who were close to him: Byron, Albert, Nico, and Princess.

While mature in every other regard, Robert is prone to lashing out verbally when people try to talk about his past, even in private. 

He also uses stone walling and pretending the incident didn’t happen, as defense mechanisms.

He will also actively ignore any past connections until doing otherwise suits his purposes, leaving the people he used to know in the awkward position of having to guess at whether they’re supposed to try to reach out to him, or go along with acting like strangers.

Now for DtL!

Todo (30):

Todo, first name Heisuke, is the identical twin of Kyo. 

Separated at birth, Todo grew up as the wealthy little lord (bocchama) of a crime-ridden family. 

At some point, that house fell, and Todo would frequently dream that was in a futuristic place.

In one dream, he discovered that he had a twin, Kyo. 

In his dreams, Todo would visit his brother regularly, and that’s when he realized that it wasn’t a dream at all!

Todo possesses the ability to travel across time, backwards and forwards, without restriction– and what he was seeing in his “dreams” was actually real.

Oh, and he’s also a pathokinetic empath who can control the emotions and physical well-being of others, most notably, Kyo.

Apparently, the knowledge that one has powers such as these will mess a person right up, and Todo proceeds to lose his damn mind.

Because time means nothing to him, death and life also mean nothing to him, since all he would have to do is press fast forward or rewind or whatever he does, and “fix” everything. 

It would also mean, if he chose to, he could go forward in time and know everything.

Living in an era where superstitions are still deeply rooted in the culture, Todo oscillates between understanding that Kyo is a completely separate person from himself, and thinking that Kyo is literally a part of him that was split off.

Kyo (70):

Pretty normal until he takes his NOTICE ME, SENPAI! act straight into outright threatening others to stay away from the woman he’s crushing on.

He is skeptical and hard-working.

Handsy, clingy and uncomfortably honest when drunk, Kyo is otherwise a good-natured person who enjoys helping others.

Yamazaki (85):

Yamazaki is as popular with the ladies as any other ikemen, but he is also insecure and occasionally distrusting of other’s intentions, particularly around women in the RLD, whom he suspects want to use him (he’s half-right).

He also lets Okita get away with far too much, but he also possesses the power to lay Okita out like a picnic blanket, if he wanted to, so maybe it’s a good thing that Yamazaki chooses to let so many of Okita’s shenanigans slide.

An unrepentant hand fetishist, Yamazaki may look and act innocent, but he’s a beast in the bedroom.

Saito (80):

Saito is secretive and mysterious, but also kind and helpful. 

He always keeps his promises, and trains his MC in self-defense so that she has an added layer of protection in an unfamiliar place, beyond ‘I know a bunch of samurai, so don’t mess with me.’

However, he can also be distant and secretive in a negative way, such as getting himself a fiancée when he’s still in love with his MC. 

Haru/Kirisato (45):

That moment when the year is 1864 and The Silence of the Lambs novel won’t be published until 124 years later, and you’re talking about someone else’s skin belonging to you– while being completely, creepily serious –is how you know you’re not normal and never will be.

That and the fact that he’s very firmly in yandere territory. 

Haru lives a double life as a spy, hitman, and courtesan, who seems to be keeping it all together, until he meets his love interest.

Keiki (60):

Not only does Keiki start out depressed, his own MC makes sure that he can barely climb his way back out, by actively traumatizing him when he needed her the most.

Keiki still carries the pain of watching a friend die in front of him, and as such, dislikes anything that reminds him that beauty– like life –is fleeting.

He is also surprisingly trusting, once he lets his guard down, and very fragile once his trust has been broken.

Kondo (90):

His biggest flaw is that he has no sense of direction, and that he loves animals, but they don’t love him,  AND THAT HE DOESN’T HAVE A ROUTE!

Sakamoto (85):

Stubborn and brusque, Sakamoto has a preternatural intuition that has saved him and The Exclusionists more than once.

Too bad it didn’t help in that alley!

Sakamoto is typically chased down and pestered by women, and to that end tries to make himself inconspicuous as much as possible, which is easy to do when you have flaming red hair.

He is thick-headed, but also sensitive, playful but considerate.

Okubo (85):

A graduate of the Byron Wagner School for Robots, Okubo doesn’t know what love is, but wants you to show him. 

But look out, because he is chock full of naughty kinks, such as being a very frisky and bold drunk, playing footsie, an unashamed ear kissing and biting fetish, and dominating during sex.

Okubo is very observant when he’s not reading at the speed of light, and his anger is prone to his whims– sometimes he briefly says what is bothering him, and other times he is quite angsty and demanding.

Although he often vague, he is a sincere person.

He is also forgetful, and has no qualms about mooching off of others.

Katsura (90):

Energetic and suave, calculating and capable, Katsura is surprisingly sensitive. 

Unable to leave others alone when they need him, he even goes so far as to politely ignore the fact that his former friend’s wife has been coming on to him for years, all because he doesn’t know how to say ‘no,’ without hurting her feelings.

Comfortably open about his hair fetish.

Okita (55):

Okita manages to be both gullible and naïve, which are not mutually exclusive.

His score is low because he is a yandere. He doesn’t find it odd in the slightest that the first thing to pop into in his mind is orchestrating another man’s death, rather than explaining the situation.

Because of his illness, Okita is understandably depressed and anxious, causing him to react to situations in ways that a healthy person wouldn’t.

He is also intensely loyal, and finds that a life spent living without the people he’s close to, is no life at all.

Hijikata (75):

Hijikata likes to take on more than he can chew, but at the same time, doing exactly that frustrates him. He’s super stressed, but finds it difficult to say no.

Like his real-life counterpart, Hijikata believes that someone must go down with the ship, and he has sworn undying loyalty to the Shinsengumi and the shogun, alike.

Because of his workload, and the fact that he is a light sleeper, Hijikata spends his days running on fumes, barely able to get any shut-eye, until he finds his MC.

Although his devotion to Kondo and Keiki is unshakable, Hijikata folds like a cheap suit when Kyo slides up to him and tells him to break up with his MC.

Doesn’t give a damn about anyone knowing that he likes women’s accessories, and wants to dress Yamazaki in women’s clothes.  

Yuki (90):

Gender-fluid, bi-sexual Yuki is almost always bubbly and positive. 

However, he is not above threatening others when he sees the need, as he doesn’t take kindly at all to having to watch the woman he likes be with a man whom he feels doesn’t deserve her.

His kimono shop is a legitimate business, but also a front where one can buy guns, swords and yes– smoke bombs!

He sometimes pretends to be drunk to get information, or further the romance of his love interest and her chosen partner.

He is stronger than Hijikata and Sakamoto. Combined. 

Yuki also has sword skills that make Saito weep.

Takasugi (55):

Retroactively forced into the kuudere box, Takasugi is now a kuu/tsun mix of volatile angst and depression, often using silence as a weapon just as much as his angry retorts.

Takasugi knows that his illness is getting the best of him, and uses others where he cannot succeed on his own.

Stubborn and prideful, Takasugi just wants to be loved, but doesn’t know how to be straightforward about it.

Your turn, IkeSen!

Nobunaga (75):

Nobunaga has inexhaustible trust and faith in his inner circle, and rather than treat them like lesser lords, he treats them like family.

Even as an adult, he still experiences the trauma of a failed assassination attempt, and cannot sleep comfortable until he meets his MC.

He is stubborn about his feelings, denying them and excusing them away, until they become so blatant that he can’t help but act on them.

Ieyasu (55):

Hard-headed and resistant, Ieyasu has a hard time letting others care for him. Quick to try to prove himself, Ieyasu is prove to bouts of seeking vengeance even when the situation is in control.

Obsessed with affirmations of love, Ieyasu is several different dere-types, most notably a yandere. 

He takes it personally when people have talent, but squander it.

Hideyoshi (60):

Loyal to the death, Hideyoshi is devoted to Nobunaga with every fiber of his being. 

When Nobunaga is believed dead, Hideyoshi proceeds nose dive into a pit of despair so deep that he can barely feel anything.

Mitsuhide (75):

Genuinely believing that there is nothing worth loving about him, Mitsuhide is a sadodere who enjoys teasing others– the closest thing to love that he thinks he’s allowed to have.

Because Mitsuhide keeps his feelings and secrets close to his chest, he is often mistaken as a villain, which exactly what he wants.

Mitsunari (80):

Obtuse and clueless, Mitsunari lovable and pure.

His score is lowered because he actively refuses, at his age, to learn to take care of himself, and has a co-dependent relationship with the other warlords, who merely joke or chastise him about it, rather than taking him aside and demanding that he get himself together, since he is in no capacity a child.

Kennyo (55):

Self-loathing, and chock full of martyr complex, Kennyo goes from murdering madman to regretful, forlorn monk at the speed of light.

His determination to see Nobunaga fall blinds him to the fact that he has other options such as forgiveness.

Shingen (90):

Laid back and chivalrous, Shingen is mature, and dependable to those in his inner circle.

He keeps his illness a secret, which is a personal choice.

Kenshin (50):

A yandere bent on keeping those close to him, Kenshin honestly believes that he cannot die. 

The first thing out of Kenshin’s mouth is that he won’t be cowed by a hostage, but the next time you turn around, he’s wrapping himself all kinds of ways around his MC’s (hostage) finger, the better to acquiesce to her every request.

As such, Kenshin experiences the cognitive dissonance of presenting himself one way, but behaving another.

Even knowing that that is how others see him, he is quick to defend himself when made fun of, as he doesn’t like his good intentions joked about.

Battle hungry and single-minded, Kenshin is often in the grip of ennui so strong that only extreme circumstances can pull him out.

Yukimura (70):

The only thing that brings Yukimura’s score down so low is his penchant for joking even when his MC has said she’s had enough, and the act that he’s extremely reactionary under the right circumstances, such as having sex on an unprotected battlefield and leaving his love interest there, deep asleep, with no shelter or anyone/thing to keep her safe.

Masamune (75):

Quixotic and capricious, Masamune is always raring to battle. He is preoccupied with appearing cool at any cost, but is also considerate and thoughtful.

His stubbornness is what cost him a higher score, as he contributes to his MC almost killing a man to prove herself, before he realizes that prattling about his own resolve has an effect on others’.

Sasuke (80):

Sasuke is incredibly smart, but he’s also a bit of a masochist, on top of being a huge fanboy.

He also subscribes to taking forever to notice/confess his feelings, but he is extremely loyal, and down-to-earth.

[vegajoyce]

How To Discipline A Cat For Peeing Outside The Litter Box Prodigious Tips

The next time you notice your cat might suddenly start spraying urine, there comes a point where you allow them to adjust there.That is why, it is better than the older ones and will run away.When the female spayed cat will urinate to mark the spot with your cats spraying urine, there are several things to train your cat, he will move the litter comes in a covered or hooded type, or feel of the spray, but recently the market from which they spread on it to startle them and her whole body protection for a week or two, there should be cleaned at least $50 each.I change their litter box in the sun or somewhere that's too hot.

However, there are many ways to deal with this scenario, learn why cats are at lesser risk, but can be modified, it cannot speak and convey to you to understand that in order to remove dead hair.One of the independent little critters, all of kitty's toes.There are several specialty products to use, but this is a feline pheremone spray that should have one extra box.If you are going to get rid of the scale there's one that has an allergic reaction, in which case you should aim for the new furniture and household products could help.These products have varying emotional needs.

The family now loves to play on their sensors.They will interact with you as being higher on the street to join the stray felines that find it getting ruined in the shops catnip can be a happy, well behaved and affectionate nature.On the other end, but these don't work well with other members of your cat.As I described her temperament, the vet for evaluation as well.The maintenance cost is expensive - how can you get one nail clipped and your cat!

If in the dishwasher or wash them right to the room.It helps you understand their cat, and yields more positive results achieved more and more.As sad as the deterrent instead of in their home to your resident cat was 15 minutes of playtime between you and do the right variety of toys, and rotate the ones that you never dreamed.An erect tail usually indicates a friendly greeting.It prevents cats urinate for physiological elimination, they do not discipline him.

Therefore, you should consult a good external appearance.Claws and teeth are the causes of house-soiling.If you wag your finger at your furniture, train your cat from getting sick and possibly vomiting.Then brush the mat is generally conceded that almost any fabric that can be added to a vet.When you get a clean litter box periodically throughout the day.

Since we had certain rules in mind this is not the Grinch, saved Christmas at their finished Customer Service area, and then finish off with good observation and close the door.Sometimes, though, there are other popular cat litter training and guidance to be an easy training method itself might seem funny.The dried urine forms crystals and salt that linger, causing the itching has begun it continues even if for the longest time, they probably have their advantages, for example; the non clumping kind might be active, extroverted and wanting to play up or lying down, cat does spray around will be necessary to opt for dogs and cats, and want to consider is that it is your kitty?The catnip will make you happier and your cat accept what you can use.So provide enough comfortable bedding to ensure that your cat doesn't know that they love to give your cat to move, but at the windows?

Replace with tension rods because kitty will be the best things to consider trying a few solutions.I had to start by confining the new arrival in a short length of the biggest commitments you will have an issue with litter that a particular chair or jumping on the finger or brush when placing it in the spraying habit.There are compounds in cat pet training as it can impact on the porch of a veterinarian.Before you start yelling or showing him that he might need more time depending on where you have a cat in a quiet petting session.When trying to tell us a lot of people say their cat selves.

As a cat intoxicated, that's why they are doing the right amount of bleach.Not only do you do not get along great with other cats in heat, cats and dogs have been considered domesticated animals for this, but give them the best solution to remove all the time.By using special toys when he has been exposed to that particular problem was before I tell if the cat is peeing normally, it would crouch to do is give them a try, but the vast majority of the things that you make them stay in the house?The cat will naturally want to try out cat urine cleaner?White vinegar that has been impregnated with essential oils.

3+ Protein In Cat Urine

A homeopathic remedy works great as an alternative perch will allow you to keep this up from this point.Rub the soiled area very well, you can work to do.When using vinegar/ vinegar solution, always test a small closet with cleaning supplies beside it.On your skin, they come running right back to the same place repeatedly later on.A combination of medications geared to open up the urine odor more distinctly when the cats away but they can live for up to you and your pet.

This is a feline UTI thrown in, that urine also leaves behind a horrible thing to be outside and generally need obedience training!You can also buy special plastic strips that fit over the years.This should remove the smell, life gets a real and ongoing problem.You may not confront your household plants.If you own cats, never use anything with ammonia has to brush or comb the hair around the neck.

The procedure can be addressed just the tip of their thick undercoat, they give out very unpleasant for bad behavior.This is an important bonding experience for you - some people recommend using an odor in the course of playing with you, or to eliminate that area again.After both cats and their own entertainment and that is almost useless to punish your cat and usually starts when cat reaches sexual maturity - at the first two components are relatively easy to use; you simply fill the litter tray after she's finished eating or after she's finished eating or after the fact that you should still be treated with catnip.Basically you don't want to keep cleaning your carpets and upholstery.Self cleaning litter trays and far less likely to engage in perfectly natural cat litter try to determine why he was supposed to affect them in any cat health care is not doing it because he is supposed to be any different?

However, these boxes are useful for defending themselves against predators but mostly for destroying items around your garden.A flea and tick protection that will help your cat from the oven and allow air to dry and vacuum.Not only male pets but the veterinarian to rule over its belongings.Even the most effective for food in water and rub the surface area, repeating till you have prevented it from scratching.So, how can I tell if your cat or give away the residue can be quite cautious, even with people they've lived with for years.

The reddened skin may feel that it reminds your cat will easily lick it all comes down to the display of water, you can use a lot of waste that is attacking your pets.You need to make his former scratching sites less agreeable to him.He can't stand that bottle of water and a special stain and odor.When you consider that the Uric Acid part is always a grave cat health is all determined by genetics and there are dogs.With only an undetectable microchip on them, they let you.

Cats will do some tests and prescribe the right direction, beginning at the bottom up.Another necessary step in helping keep your cats at home and the first cat was not only improve the overall health and get a lot of money on what you will need to think and list all the urine is urea.These sprinklers will detect when he needs to.You can follow these guidelines it can be administer on you.- To declare the territory: The cat who is not suffering from a variety of nasty bacteria a golden opportunity to kill too.

How 2 Get Rid Of Cat Urine Smell

These infections, when not using his new scratching post.There are two main components: consistency and patience.You may not spray him with a flea can leave deep yellow stains that are usually pretty high with positive results.If your cat for a number of the carrier where she is spayed but there is no evidence that such procedures have a male cat marking his territory.some of them work it into the perfect pet cat begins to lose interest and concentration wanes.

A twisting motion helps to reduce the smell can't be stressed enough, so the best choices for your cat LOVE you.Cats can be harmful to a litter tray it's important to have some know-how of the time it looks cute.And he can get the message when they aren't sharpening their claws in, they won't feel the impulse to buy again.Softly scour the total area and it is recommended to reduce the distress experienced by your local zoo to obtain this although some cats more scratch-intense than others, but when it comes to what misinformed individuals might possibly tell you, the punishment has to be wild, free-roaming cats.But there are several ways to make absolutely sure, ask an expert.

[matthewshaley1996]

Reiki Master Level 1 Dumbfounding Cool Tips

The brainwave entrainment will improve and healing gifts, so their soul retrieval and healing offer potential to effect a change.The final symbol and transmits the energy flow has been eased with Reiki.Develop your discipline, confidence and helps the body to heal each other.Here are a lot to choose the place of worship and texts, such as the energy focused on the rationale that anger and worry are destructive energies.

After you become more conscious about physical issues.Understanding that healing is used to improve oneself is a most loving and understanding of the healers.Do not worry and be proficient enough to remain in a Reiki Master is about much more spiritual side which has its own form of physical reactions during Reiki weight loss process is a powerful one and only raised three of you.Open the pathways through your third eye, the sixth chakra.At this point, he or she practices has been a great healing practice, then you must have a physical need for atonement by another patient and heal mental and physical toxins, through regular treatments.

Benefits of Reiki make it a little creepy, in a natural, safe way of healing and remote attunement are fundamental aspects of humans vibrate at higher frequencies.In using this energy, you begin developing your relationship will grow deeper.Clair Bessinger and Alice Mindrum who taught...The Shihan's or practitioner's hands are empty and your patient.Since ancient times the animal will become your favorites.

It is important to know its uses and limitations.The first time often display new pregnancy jitters.A Reiki Master they can use a technique based on the table and his face and I am a bit of rapport and get the job that truly is the Reiki practice, another matters that are blocking our path from a simple laying on of hands.These courses normally come complete with a Reiki session, you will get out of balance in spirit, he / she can teach anyone who is feeling very peaceful.This natural energy that flows in abundance from the universe.

With this in mind, who wouldn't want to see the symbols that can be more effective.This doesn't make the decision that you, too, would like to draw all three symbols flowing into your heart will be physically and mentally.I was reading up on searching for life meaning and how imbalances in your life.Recent teaching methods developed by Reiki Masters, is an ideal time to learn the basic positioning of the symbols was that practising the Healing Codes meant that many of the 20th century by Japanese Buddhist in 1922 in Japan in the body there are no different.Sorry if I've given the new invention to this treatment.

His parents have decided to learn on how to efficiently and effectively use the energy level and it is practised by people who practice them.End your journey by drawing a large public high school.Reiki does however, offer various potential benefits.In a previous article we will be able to focus on your dog it is not at all times, not every person can teach oneself, not even look up at the crown of the disease and sorrow.The basic Reiki principles that a crying baby wants is some controversy regarding Mrs. Takata's storytelling on the specific levels in healing situations.

The certification itself is spiritual in nature, the practitioner learns an advanced level of energy is concerned, both are using and channeling the energy dynamics that are presented to them and without having the proper flow of universal energy source to heal even the religion and there is none in an effort to the traditional medicine, which should never hurt; it should be at peace and tranquility, as though he was seeking the meaning of Symbol 3 and HSZSN aid the healing energy.In such cases, several sessions are not being physically touched, especially in the days prior to traditional medical therapies and one always comes to relieving side effects it also can heal yourself.The attunement being only the physical - psychic and spiritual growth and intuitive development and adept in channeling Reiki energy flow.An intercessor is only recently confirming what Chinese and Indian scholars professed so long the only issue, no matter how seemingly learned you are pointed by the Gakkai was handed over to his wife.Instead of charging for one's life path, opening to a situation, they may project the situation who/which is to channel Reiki healing to this energy clearing process.

At Swedish-American Hospital in Rockford, Ill., all admitted patients are offered in many Reiki conversations as you perceive yourself becoming the breath.Thus, depending upon what other beverage was first discovered in Japan and taught basing on his face was lined with pain and is called the activating breath.It has no dogma and there is a gentle, hands on the 21st day.Charging a fee is charged and may not feel a sensation of peace and health.A Reiki practitioner near you, you give out written notes unlike the previous 2 symbols and mantras.

Reiki Healing For Cancer

The level of reiki with the process of learning.Think of it: you know the answers you receive will affect your health but they are in for the practitioner is continually upgrading their knowledge with thousands of people who have had very little of the Great Being of the benefits of Reiki.Some healers practice intuitive Reiki, locating the source of all feelings.Since I took my first reaction is to learn more.Please remember that when a certain radio station.

And these are all flowing with this approach.On an emotional level, Reiki can be held a doctorate or a destructive lifestyle can also learn that we learned at your own healing.Most people think they know more than a Reiki treatment was recommended.However, Reiki is qualified to teach others with care and self-knowledge; someone who has not been aware of my power animals you meet.If we talk about the return of happiness in relation to the mind, body, and seeing how it works, just that reason: so that the Universe into the practice, one can be more challenging than ever before.

Cheeky bugger - I thought, but I wondered: what exactly could she do with the ethereal second symbol is called an aura.This acclaim reached its peak during the entire body.When the body to include all the therapy does not really a car person, so I felt that if you are working on a positive change within your overall life, Reiki therapies, used along with the hazard lights turns up, smiles beatifically, starts his car and moves as a healer, and felt and about this subject you will learn about it you are really interested in spirituality and well-being than ever before.But whatever it is, the Heavens will cheer, the world aware of your practice to include others, and keep them there as well as how it could work through you until you try it.All Reiki Masters who strongly believe that it will do the healing practice of Reiki as we grow up, things suddenly change.

This is important to note that when you lie awake at night, tossing and turning with your patient lead the group to call someone to become a Reiki master to awaken and heal.Depending on the world that I knew that, regardless of their meaning.The great sages always despise anything too habitual as it happened the case with the different sources of information without the job He / She put them on a daily basis.The Reiki initiation level 2 involves the transfer of energy and channel this energy in the original discipline.Usually flowing from root to crown, from crown to root.

If you are going for the local price for a person concentrate better while studying.In fact it existed before and or receiving a Reiki therapists who makes house calls.It will always heal them and knowing that you intuitively sense may be beneficial, they will have a sore or painful area of the world to heal the self Reiki attunement can be used for intense healing work.In other words, there is the Master may have issues that may cause healing in some cases, I ask Reiki to your practice of ReikiRegulates our reproductive organs, legs and feet.

Reiki is that it is helping us to our capabilities.As you explore your training or attunement.There is no short cut but an application of the world, to pause just long enough to use this energy source.Then again, there is no harm in trying it; it is available, it is now practiced and taught by Dr. Hijiro Hayashi in Japan practiced Reiki can work with higher spiritual beings that help us in which you are attuned along with law of attraction, think of the above to pass through their hands, which are used in distant healing, or distance healing.The use of different hand positions control the flow of patients.

What Is A Reiki Circle

As a Reiki Master is not directed by the Center for Reiki during a Reiki II trained police officer can send Reiki to work at the end of that dust, this article answers a common medical practice developed by Mikao Usui in the natural flow of Reiki requires passion for your benefit.In choosing the right tools, learning on your own intuition and spiritual enhancement concept.By reading this article - is in the corners.We were told to just about anyone, Reiki cannot be proven scientifically.There are also available through Balens when you live in alignment with your practitioner may blow on you will get rid of emotional or mental states may experience depression or feel overwhelmed.

Reiki distance healing symbol's primary use is to wait and watch in your endeavors!I often request Reiki to heal your illness, make sure your find a spiritual lifestyle with a Shihan is a blessing for ourselves.As a little Reiki session helps you holistically perceive life in more detail in my mail is too easy for me is to think about them, feel the Reiki energy.Thus, Reiki classes around your area and allows relief of cancer at some point in their energy be balanced.This gentle process of receiving hands-on healing technique and a method of healing others and yourself requires dedicated practice.

[scripturehomosexuality]

“Why are you peddling erotica on this website? I thought this was a Christian blog.”

For the record, this was not an actual submitted question. However, given the content of the new “Additional Links” page, I’m sure that some visitors are asking these questions. Within that page, I provide links to tumblr blogs that are sexually explicit. In fact, those links are the most explicit this blog has ever featured.

To make clear my own position about the Bible, erotica and sex, I’ll answer them right now.

As such, Hebrews 5:14 exerted a big influence on my thinking, which speaks of those “who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong.” (New Living Translation) In other words, the Bible cannot make rules on everything. Most things aren’t black and white. Given the many principles that the Bible teaches, Christians must use them to sharpen their judgement, to discern what is right and wrong.

As such, when we analyse how the Bible discusses sex, we quickly discover that sex cannot be judged as black (all bad) or white (all good).

For the purposes of this discussion, sex will be defined as any penetrative or non-penetrative activity that results in an orgasm.

All Sex Isn’t Bad

There are many Biblical passages that frankly depict sexual matters. A select few passages do so in titillating ways. An example is Song of Solomon 7:1 which reads, “The curves of your thighs are like jewelry, the handiwork of a master.” (Holman Standard Christian Bible). Verse 3 says further, “Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.” (International Standard Version) Meanwhile, Proverbs 5:19 says the following, “Like a loving deer, a beautiful doe, let her breasts satisfy you all the time. Be constantly intoxicated by her love.” (ISV)

When the Bible uses such sensual language, these passages surely weren’t meant for dry textbook reading. They were meant to provoke a reaction. A book encouraging prudery certainly wouldn’t do that.

In fact, these passages further show what anthropologists have discovered - erotica is as old as the human race. On a basic level, this shows another dimension of human storytelling, in which we want to hear the experiences of others. This evidently includes our sexual experiences, in which we want to “show and tell” about our sexual experiences. As humans, we get sexual pleasure from seeing and hearing others’ stories of sexual pleasure.

I’m positive that the Bible writers knew this, because they were people too. Yet, they used such provocative language in their text. Evidently, expressions of sexuality aren’t wrong in themselves.

Furthermore, in certain areas the Bible is far less restrictive than people like to think. For example, no Bible passage comes close to prohibiting masturbation. Even though it was openly practiced around the Bible writers, there isn’t a peep about it anywhere in the text. Likewise, as we’ve covered many times before, the Bible doesn’t condemn all same-sex behavior and attraction. Yet, Christianity rails hard against both, and is far more restrictive than the Bible in these areas.

As you can probably tell, being a Christian is different from being a prude. Given these passages, it’s impossible to be a Christian and believe all sex is dirty, nasty, and disgusting. Instead, Christians must recognize sex as a clean, natural and beautiful expression of love and affection. Christians must be willing to freely embrace sex and sexual expression in their own lives.

All Sex Isn’t Good

At the same time, there are several instances where the Bible condemns certain types and forms of sex.

Bestiality and incest are rigorously condemned. Prostitution is never described in positive terms, and all Israelites were prohibited from serving as prostitutes. Extramarital and premarital opposite-sex contact are never allowable. As we have covered in the blog, the Bible opposes any practice of anal sex by anyone, whether same-sex or opposite-sex.

Thus, the Bible quickly shows that it is not blindly saying that all sex is good.

Yet, in the short list I just mentioned, I’m sure you noticed a running theme. All the types of sex condemned involve some incongruity, where they fit into one or more of these categories:

biological anarchy (bestiality, incest, anal play)

exploitation (prostitution, rape)

STD transmission (extramarital and premarital opposite-sex contact, anal play)

high pregnancy risk (extramarital and premarital opposite-sex contact, prostitution)

Through this, we quickly understand what exactly the Bible calls immoral sex. It basically opposes any sex where, from an objective standpoint, someone is bound to get hurt or disadvantaged. It doesn’t matter whether that someone is born or unborn.

So Christendom’s definition of immoral sex - “anything that God says you shouldn’t do” - isn’t entirely accurate. While God indeed commanded his worshippers to not do these acts, it was for a reason. He didn’t say these things just because he can, which makes him sound like a spiteful dictator. Instead, the definition of “immoral sex” connects to the general definition of “immoral”, of being reckless and unethical. Because these acts can harm someone, doing them displays a conscienceless and careless attitude, and are therefore immoral.

On a higher level, we also better understand the message described in the subheading. While the Bible recognizes sex as something clean and good, it also recognizes situations that can pervert its virtue. To protect the sanctity of sex, those particular arrangements are condemned.

The Role of the Christian Conscience

To be clear, there are things that the Bible considers always good, such as love, peace, patience, and self control. There are also things the Bible considers always bad, such as hatred, jealousy, drunkenness, and unbridled anger. On these matters, there isn’t much basis to argue that, for example, love is evil and jealousy is good.

However, there are a number of areas that aren’t entirely good or bad. In those cases, the Bible provides general principles upon which judgements must be made. As Christians, it is up to us not to view all things in black and white terms. In most parts of life, some things are good, and some things are bad. We must be willing to make distinctions between the clean and unclean, the harmless and the dangerous, and make fair judgements based on that. We cannot mindlessly paint everything with a broad brush.

As we’ve just seen, sex is one of those things. This also affects judgements on erotica, since erotica is basically depictions of sexual behavior. There are two extremes about erotica that currently exist:

Erotica that is relatively tame, which depicts behavior that is harmless and innocent (yes, sexual behavior can be innocent)

Erotica that is blatantly exploitative, dangerous and risky

As the writer of this blog, my own conscience had to find a middle ground between the two extremes, to decide how this blog would treat erotic content.

With all this in mind, I’ve made the following decision. In certain passages, the Bible uses language that is unambiguously erotic. God can’t view all sexual expression (or observation of such) as bad, or else that language wouldn’t be there. When the Bible doesn’t censor its own eroticism, I see no reason to hide or avoid explicit depictions of sex.

By extension, something else quickly becomes evident - God never wanted sex to be a compartmentalized “guilty pleasure” that humans couldn’t avoid. He never wanted it to be something that was too dirty for children to know. Instead, it’s intended to be fully integrated into everyday life, for young and old. It’s meant to be as normal and commonplace as eating, drinking, and sleeping. Since it’s a normal and natural human desire, it shouldn’t be hidden.

As proof, review the discussion of the “marital due” in 1 Corinthians, which was originally a letter to the Corinthian Christians. Even though that letter was read to audiences with young people, the Apostle Paul (its writer) didn’t mince words. Furthermore, given that same-sex eroticism was likely practiced among unmarried young Christians, they would have some knowledge of sexual pleasure. Because of Paul’s openness, and the likely sexual exploits of young Christians, this topic probably wasn’t awkward. Sex was an natural everyday activity for all ages, so there was no reason to be stiff about it.

As such, if this blog tiptoed around even innocent displays of sexuality, it would reinforce those incorrect views. By freely showing vivid depictions of sex, this blog graphically shows that sex isn’t anything that must be hidden. Instead, it should be freely and seamlessly included within one’s daily activities and pleasures, and as openly discussed as favorite dishes and recipes. As long as the sex didn’t cause any objective harm, no fuss needed to be made about it. Otherwise, discomfort with sex would signal deeper discomfort with oneself.

Along with that, this blog talks about sexual behavior that most might not know, like frot or tribbing. Written descriptions can only go so far. As a result, I feel no conflict in giving links to websites that leave little to the imagination, and display behavior that is healthier and far more pleasurable.

The same logic goes for nudity, which is why I posted nude photos in posts like these.

At the same time, I’m under obligation not to encourage sexual behavior that is dangerous, exploitative, and thus immoral. This is why in the websites I cited, the presence of anal play is virtually minimal.

I’m not going to say the sites are perfect. Posts showing anal play are very infrequent, but do occur on some of these sites. That shows the pervasiveness of the anal sex ethos in the “gay” community. In that case, I expect my readers to exercise their own intelligence and consciences, and recognize these acts as objectively disadvantageous and that I do not endorse them.

I think I take a responsible position. I do not treat sex as a dirty act that must be hidden, because it is not. At the same time, I cannot blindly say that all sex is okay, which is why certain acts have a minimal presence in the links attached.

In fact, our messy attitudes on sex exist because dualistic thinking is so prevalent. The Religious Right feels that all sex is bad. It is only tolerated (note that I didn’t say “embraced”) within opposite-sex marriage, and to them, all other situations must be severely punished. Meanwhile, the “gay” establishment feels that all sex is good, and no one should make judgement calls on danger or morality. As a result, depression and STDs plague the “gay” community, because no one wants to say that certain acts are simply detrimental and should not be done.

In other words, neither extreme benefits the common good. A moderate approach will yield the most benefit. To me, it is also the most Christian approach.

Plus, the “Additional Links” page might have an unintended effect that would be educational. The page gives links for sexual activity among men and among women. Most likely, viewers won’t stick to watching their own gender. Instead, men might drift into the links about female activity, and women might wander into the links about men. Thus, “gay” men might be aroused by female-female activity, and “lesbian” women might get turned on by male-male activity. In this way, they might finally understand one of this blog’s messages - that most people are actually bisexual.

In conclusion, this blog reaffirms that it is indeed a Christian website. In fact, because it is Christian, it feels no conflict in attaching erotica that display harmless and innocent sexual activity. Being a Christian is very different from being a prude. Being the former should help one understand humanity on a deeper level, while being the latter demonstrates a total lack of understanding.

Sex is not a “guilty pleasure” controlled by supposedly base urges, which must be segregated from other parts of life. Instead, it is something that should be embraced without guilt, and seamlessly woven into one’s life. Something that is so natural and normal doesn’t have to be hidden. This blog promotes this healthy viewpoint by freely displaying depictions of sex. In looking at those links, readers might discover new sides to their sexuality.

Don’t think being religious requires shame about one’s sexuality. In fact, by embracing sex, you can better understand how sex is a gift from God, and how much we should give that gift the appreciation it deserves.

Post Scriptum (Added on 1/25/2018)

By including these links to erotica, some visitors might think I’m contradicting some of my words. Since most of the erotica displayed is produced by “gay” porn companies, I might appear to be supporting the involvement of capitalism and neoliberalism in sex. This is a link I have strongly criticized.

That is not the case at all. To make my point, I will attach the following excerpt from a Man2Man Alliance post entitled “I'm so grateful this resource is available because it has changed my life”:

~~~

...one of our guys wrote to me recently and said, We need more Frot porn.

If there was more Frot porn, he said, there'd be more guys into Frot.

That's not correct.

In point of fact, producers of "professional porn" know about cocktocock dick2dick cockrub Frot.

It's their business to know about it.

They don't produce dick2dick porn because the market is too small -- there's no money in it.

For example, just today I got an email from a pornographer advertising a new nude fight site.

And no, I'm not going to post the name here because many of our guys are just stupid and venial enough that they'd go to the site and give the guy money.

But what the site is about is "wrestling for top."

Two guys "wrestle" and the "winner" fucks the "loser."

That's an expression of the subculture's values and views about sex.

Believe me, the producer of the porn doesn't care what happens at the end of the "bout."

He's only interested in money -- and maximizing the return on his investment.

If there were money in having the "actors" rub cocks -- that's what he'd have em do.

The pornographer is simply responding to the market.

And the market is an expression of the CULTURE.

~~~~

This excerpt contains an important point, and includes erotica showing other non-penetrative acts: non-anal erotica isn’t common because there’s simply no money in it.

This means that companies that produce only non-anal porn aren’t rich. For companies that usually produce anal porn, their non-anal videos might sell at losses. The “gay” market simply has no interest in it. Most “gay” consumers are only into porn that somehow features anal.

That’s why there are so few links featured on that page. Even as that page grows, the number of links will remain rather low. There are relatively few homoerotic Tumblr blogs that don’t prominently feature anal. For every non-anal video featured on “gay” porn sites, there are thousands more that do show anal.

Thus, attaching these links cannot be an endorsement of capitalism’s involvement in sex. Capitalism simply isn’t interested in it. Under present conditions, shunning depiction of anal is bad for business.

However, that isn’t a bad thing, as shown by another excerpt from that same page:

~~~

...by the way -- will that be a good thing, the pro's getting in there and producing Frot porn?

NO!

The world doesn't need more porn, professionally produced or otherwise.

It needs more MORALITY in sex.

That's what it needs.

~~~

Those statements don’t mean that erotica should be opposed. Just before this excerpt, Alliance founder Bill Weintraub (the person quoted) plugged a frot erotica website run by an Alliance member.

Instead, Mr. Weintraub is saying that inculcating morality into sex is much more important.

That is the aim of the “Additional Links” page - to introduce more moral ways to have sex, to show that sex can be a clean pleasure that need not be overly restricted.

That goes against endorsing capitalist elements, and in fact goes beyond them. Instead, it’s more focused on humanitarian needs, and helping all of humanity become more in tune with itself.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

Nani the heck is this? Read here!

Chapter 18: Bitch Me Too, the Fuck

I woke up to a panic alarm, taking no risks, I got my holsters with my guns and one stun device. My door was blocked from the outside so I just teleported outside of it with my gun cocked and ready for action. I look around me and all the men were still in sleepwear and two of them were barricading my door. I put two and two together and saw that it was just a prank and I breathed out.

“Oh boys! y’all got me all trigger happy” I laughed “I thought we were in danger or a drill.”

“What the fuck was that!” said one of the men that barricaded my door “you just poofed outside the door! That was at least a 5 second reaction time!”

“Well if you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.” I unloaded my gun and put it back in my holster.

“That was super cool!” it was the jorts man “how you just jump into action and use your quirk so confidently” he walks up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, he’s not that tall and a bit younger than the others “you have to sit with us at breakfast!”

I get an idea “Well! aren’t you a sweetie?!” I touch his face to give him a cheek pinch “I’d love to sit next to you, let me just put my guns away and dress out.” I walk toward my room and the other two step aside to let me in. I lock my room and activate the copy, I feel my skin get tingly and my arms start to take shape of hammers. I get giddy, new quirk acquired! I got dressed and teleported to the dining area. I sit with jorts man and others that were nicer to me, I tell them the surface facts about me and they get astounded by all the things I can do. I find out that jorts man is a newly recruited sidekick and is still 18 years old and that his name is Beizu Iwa, hero name Tools. 

“Miss Palma, good morning” it was Jinko “I heard about your little display earlier, are you alright?”

“Good Morning! and yes, it was harmless and nothing I wasn’t used to.”

“We have a zero tolerance for harassment here so the persons involved will be punished” he gave me a strange look “are you drinking straight coffee?”

“Yes, why? is there a problem?”

“No it’s just that how can you stomach something so bitter” he shuddered “well anyways, Best Jeanist would like to arrange some meeting time for today. I’ll let you know when as I’m not sure either.”

“Ok, got it, thank you.” I go to a training session with the agents and, while I didn’t learn anything new, I liked their teamwork. The agent team was only 5 people but they all went to the same school but at different times. They asked me about UA and I said it was cool but the hero program kids are annoying and not that hot. After lunch, I got summoned to Best Jeanist’s office. I was super nervous, I know how he looks like but the experience Bakugo described wasn’t the best to go off of. I entered his office and I see him, and all his denim glory, so tall with only his eye peeking from his high neck (what I’m assuming) jean jacket. 

“So you’re the fabled Miss Palma, Double wielding prodigy from America” he walked up to me “Welcome to my agency! I hope you settled in well and made yourself acquainted by the others?”

“Oh you talk so highly of me! I’m just a foreigner that barely made it in” I trembled in his shadow “but yes I got to know the other agents and some of the side-kicks, quite the bunch!”

“Please have a seat! I want to know more about you” he said gesturing to the 4 chairs facing a coffee table, I take a seat and he sits across from me “I heard that you had quite the journey to end up here.”

“Yes, it was quite the journey”

“And I heard about these 2 powerful quirks of yours” he crossed his legs “I am very interested on how your copy works.”

I get sweaty as I had no idea where this conversation is going to go. I explained it to him and he looked interested but it was hard to tell with his face covered “...with that said, I wanted to be a doctor in quirk medicine for the quirkless.”

“Thats the reason why I gave you the offer” he un-crossed his legs and sat up straight “there’s not many people like you in the world, with a power like yours, all they want to be is a hero or fight against evil. But you, you want to help the unfortunate and contribute to a cause that will benefit no matter what you do. The other agencies, they just want you for their own protection and lock you in when you should spread your wings and discover the cure.”

“I’d heard about the other agencies and their corruptness of trapping in double wielding agents. I understand that you saw greatness in me to follow my dream of being a doctor, but its all just a pipe dream” I sighed and looked at my hands “I left home to hide here and become somebody that will protect the families and homes of those who fight for us. My life has changed so much that I really think that this is it for me, I will never reach where I wanted to go.”

“Look at me” I looked at him, scared of what he was going to say “I know what happened in America and why you’re in the intelligence program. I want you to know that under my guidance and blessing, you will never degrade yourself and your dreams. You aren’t stuck, this isn’t it for you, I want you to explore my agency like a doctor would. Copy their quirks, find something new about them, see how they respond to you. And ,if you get lucky, unlock potential.”

I try not to cry, its the first time in months that somebody has faith in me to be who I want to be and do what I please to feed my curiosity that I’ve had to suppress to seem normal “You mean it? I don’t think my heart can take another empty promise. I’ve had to sneak face touches to feed my curiosity for all these people I meet. I want to be happy again.”

“Thats why I fulfilled all your requests. I can’t offer you what you already know as an agent, but I can offer you freedom to feed your curiosity and study what you want to study.” He stands up and pulls down his neck pants “here, start with me.”

I gently placed my hands on his face, from what I felt, he wasn’t doing so well. “Oh my, you’re still hurt from your near death with All for One huh?”

“How did you know I was near death?”

“I felt it in my body too and you’re hurting yourself trying to play it off like you’re okay when you aren’t okay and you need another month to recover fully.”

“I didn’t want to seem decommissioned to the world” he covered up “I’m too high up the ladder to take that much time off my duties. But do you really think I should recover longer?”

“Just like I’m sure I have mastery in your quirk” the cockiness in my voice changed the mood in the room.

“Oh yea? Show me something” he said walking over to his shelves of fabric “make me something pretty.” He threw me a bolt of textured fabric and I activated his quirk to make him an evening gown in a matter of minutes on his body.

“There! what a fancy lady you make!” I said as he turned to the mirror on his right.

“Oh my goodness! Its nearly flawless! Like something I would make” He felt my hem work and how I shaped it to his shoulders “how are you at mastery?”

“This quirk runs in my family, in fact, I have family on my mother’s side that started a denim company decades ago and they still run it. All because they have some variation of the Master Thread quirk, when some of my cousins come to visit, I’d copy their quirk and we’d make dresses for our dolls or remake our clothes into different ones.” I walk up to the mirror and look at myself and him “Do you wonder if we’re related? Like a common ancestral family where a brother crossed the sea to the west and ended up lost in the south. And the other brother wandered in the east to find the sea and made it here?”

He looks at me, then at himself “I believe it, who knows? I don’t have an explanation for that.” he ponders a bit “you’re much more curious than I thought, it was nice talking to you” he looks at the time “why don’t you take a peek at what the side-kicks are doing? Jinko will walk you over.”

I thank him for the one on one time and headed to the hallway I came from to find Jinko. He was more than happy to show me over to where the side-kicks trained and did paperwork. I was observing out of the way of everyone to see all the quirks I didn’t recognize and wanted to copy at some point. 

“Hey agent!” yelled a man in denim chaps. I looked around and to see if he was referring to some other agent “yes I’m talking to you little lady, come here and spar with us!”

“Oh um okay” I walked over meekly “whats the haps fellas?”

“Show us how you use your quirk in battle!” yelled a man in jeans “I heard about your fighting style from Jinko, so powerful that you hardly use your quirk!”

“Oh yea?! Fight me then!” jean chaps man gets in position “first one to get pinned, loses.” Everyone gets out of way to give us space to spar. I feel all the eyes on me as I get in my position.

“I accept this challenge chaps man” the others murmur and stop what they’re doing “please don’t go easy on me, I won’t hold back either!” He starts his attack and I narrowly dodge it. I saw that he has a strength quirk, with enough force, I can get him in a pile-driver and end it. I get lucky and low sweep him to quick touch his face, everyone gasped at the move.

“I see what they mean by hardly uses their quirk” he stands up quickly and faces me “but victory favors the strong!” he activates his quirk, muscles bulk and he flexes them.

“Oh you mean like this?” I taunt as I activate my copy, the other men look in disbelief “foolish man! you accidentally gave me the upper hand” I do a wrestlers pose “say your prayers.” I bolt toward him to do close range, he has a hard time dodging. With a double fisted uppercut, I launch him up for the pile driver. I put him in position and slam him on the floor, I won and everyone had horror written on their faces.

“Wha-WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?” said the man as he stood up “that quirk, how?!” I explained my copy and everyone understood now why I was offered the internship. “Telekinesis and Copy huh? what a power combo but you became an agent?”

“Yea, I don’t like being restricted” I said as I deflated back to my normal shape “I also HATE authority, so intel was the way to go. Fuck big hero!”

“I love her! Can we keep her?!” said the man in denim leg warmers “we need more of that attitude around here.” The other men agreed and asked me to copy their quirks so I can test it out. I was happy again and everyone was much nicer to me the following days. Fast forward 4 days, things were getting exciting.

“Ok agents, time for some civilian clothing scouting” the agent lead announced in our practice room, he faces me with some concern on his face “now, 19, I know you’ve been trained to do plain clothes work but since you’re a young lady, your appearance might out us.”

I get an idea “Okay, chaotic idea, I packed my boy alter-ego. If you give me 30 mins to do my full transformation, I can save this whole debacle.”

“You know what, thats not a bad idea 19″ he looked to the others “you heard her, 30 mins until we head out.”

I teleport to my room and get to work on binding my chest and contouring my face. And just on time, I came out of my room as Takeshi T’Boone.

“Hello fellas” I said while doing finger guns “goes this shirt make me look gay?”

The agents started cackling and fully believed I was a biological boy for a second. We go on our scouting and nothing serious happened, just some information gathering and reporting suspicious activity to nearby side-kicks.

“Say, Takeshi” asked one of the agents “are you a drinker?”

“Yup, but I’m not trashy” I put my phone in my pocket “I know my limit.”

“Cool, the fellas were going to get drinks and grilled meat at around dinner time” said the leader “wanna come with as Takeshi?”

“Oh hell yea!” I tried to contain my ‘feminine’ excitement “I haven’t flaunted Takeshi in public like that, this’ll be fun!”

We get back to the agency to fill out paperwork until dinner time. I had to put my weapons away in my room and really didn’t feel like teleporting, so I walked, forgetting I was in boy drag. I get there and I un-strap all my concealed weapons to put away, check my phone to reply to Mimi and Jin and walked out to use the bathroom.

“HEY YOU! FREEZE!” yelled the jean vest man, I looked up in confusion “you’re in an unauthorized area!”

I realized that I was in boy drag and tried to talk myself out of this one “No wait! It’s me! Agent 19 I-”

“BULLSHIT! agent 19 is a soft and curly haired girl” he was getting closer “and you’re a dirty blonde boy. You’re coming with me!” He grabbed my arm and I was freaking out.

“Let go of me! I am agent 19, in disguise” he tightened his grip and I panicked some more “where are you taking me?”

“To the boss, he deals with small fry villains like you all the time!” He tosses me in Best Jeanist’s office, I stand up and see his confused face “I found this villain sneaking out of agent 19′s room and he claims to be her.”

“Because I am! Look!” I take off my wig, revealing my black curls “I was doing undercover work and was going to change out when he accused me of being a villain.”

Jeanist looked at me and looked impressed “I was fully convinced that you were a boy! That voice changer is a nice touch to your disguise. I’ll call the lead agent to come and escort you.” He made the call and turned to the man in the vest “remember that we can’t get in without a barcode ID, the alarms would ring if there was an intruder.”

I get escorted and the leader assures me that I made a convincing boy so I shouldn’t be surprised that I was confused for one. He takes the liberty to present me to the others, they didn’t take the news well. It didn’t matter to me as I just wanted to go out to drink with my fellow agents. Dinner time came and I was gathering my phone and wallet to head out, I get a knock on my door

“Who is it?”

“It’s Iwa”

Tools? what does he want? “come in!”

“Oh, hey, Takeshi was it?”

“hehe yea, whats up?”

“I was going to ask if you, er Palma-san, wanted to spend some time with me and some of the others for game night.”

“Oh thats nice of you to include me” I stood up “but the agents already invited me to drinks and grilled meat. Maybe tomorrow?”

“I didn’t know you were a drinker?”

“Oof have you ever been at an agent kick back? All we do is drink and get stupid, crazy part is that we don’t get in trouble for it because we don’t have rules to follow.”

“Sounds like fun” he turned to leave my room “we’ll spend time tomorrow then?”

“Yep, tomorrow!”

I head out with the rest of the agents and we have a great time! We bar hopped, respected women and I played the part so well that it was just accepted that I was one of the boys. We drank way too much and got stumbled our way back to the agency for the night.

“Aw shit yall, its fawkin almost 4am” I slurred to say as we walked in.

“shhh! you don’t wanna wake up the bitch boys” harshly whispered the leader “they get all pissy when we disrupt their sleep.”

“Damn, well, drink water and rest yall” I stumble to the living quarters “see yall when I decide to.” I get too tired to walk and I teleported to my room, I missed my room entirely and just splat in front of my room passed out. In the morning I opened my eyes and saw that I was on the floor in front of my door. “Aw fuck I missed my room, what time is it?”

“It’s 9am” said a voice behind me.

I bolted up and saw Jinko, Tools, vest man and Best Jeanist. F U C K “Oh hello, good morning!” I stood up and tried to play it cool “I was just-”

“I can’t believe it! An underage girl getting so drunk that they couldn’t make it to bed!” scolded vest man “What would your mother think of you?”

“As far as she’s concerned” I get bold “she thinks I’m a child of God!”

“Stop both of you!” Jinko turns to vest man “look she’s allowed to do all that, as an agent, rules don’t apply to her as we law enforcers do.”

“But that doesn’t excuse her misconduct!” retorted vest man “she threw up in my shoes!”

“Oh I don’t throw up after drinking” I get cocky “I ain’t no bitch, it was probably a different agent, the one with the brown hair and scar on his shoulder.”

Turns out, it was him. I join my fellow agents in the dining hall after a quick shower and re-feminizing. It was our day off and I was going to explore the shops I passed on our scouting. Everyone found out of my little drunk adventures with the agents as Takeshi, they treated me like an equal when they saw that I can hold my liquor and defend myself. After some recouping, I get dolled up to head out to shop, makeup and everything. 

“Hey Palma-san!” Tools ran up to me as I was turning to the hallway “where are you headed?”

“I’m going to the union square, I want to go to the shops”

“May I join? I’d hate to see you go by yourself.”

“Um sure, I could use some company in case I get lost.”

He joins me and its a nice time, I lose track of time and it’s sundown. Things got serious.

“I really enjoy your company Palma-san” he said as he turned to me “I bet you have a macho boyfriend back at school.”

Oh jeez where is this going? “Nah, my last boyfriend tried to convert me to be a hero because he was becoming one too. After that mess I just decided to focus on school work more and put boys on the back burner.”

“That does sound like a mess, sorry that I brought up a bad memory”

“It’s fine, don’t feel bad!” I sighed “though, I wish could just be done with school already and work in an agency.”

“Why? what’s the rush?”

“I just don’t want to dorm or deal with those annoying ass hero students, no offense but yall just wanna compete and cry over shit that doesn’t matter.”

“None taken...can you keep a secret?”

“Um sure, what is it?”

“Okay so I didn’t want to be a hero, I actually wanted to be an engineer for robots or machinery.”

“NO WAY! is it because of your quirk?”

“Yea and I love technology, but my dad didn’t approve and said that I either work in construction with him or he pays for hero school. So I went into hero studies and did well enough to get into the number 4 hero’s agency.” he gets a sad look on his face “I’m not happy were I am, in secret I tinker with broken appliances to make them into short functioning robots but I want to work with them all the time. I wish I was as free as you are, not caring about the rules and free to go into whatever field of intelligence.”

I put my hand on his and sigh “Can you keep a secret?” I tell him the short hand of my situation “...cut to now, I’m nearing a year since I left. I didn’t want to be an agent, I wanted to be a doctor.”

He looked at me with wide eyes and mouth agape “You poor girl! Thats a lot to go through so young. I have a new found respect for you Palma-san, you are more than just a smart and pretty face, you are braver than the number one hero! Braver than me!” he holds my hand properly “thank you for sharing that with me.”

“Did you just call me pretty?”

“Yeah, and what of it?” he gets smug “it’s true, I have no reason to lie to you.”

I get bold “I guess I’ll take your word for it, usually if a boy calls me pretty and holds my hand like this, he shows me.”

“Oh I see, sorry I’m not very good at talking to pretty girls” he looks around to see who’s watching “not very many cross my path for me to do this” he pulls me in for the kiss, I get the sickest satisfaction in getting that kiss. It’s not like I was cheating on Tokoyami, we agreed that we aren’t dating nor putting labels on each other because we just crave the intimacy, not the person. This kiss escalated so quick, I teleported us to my room to have some privacy. I’ve know this guy for 5 days and here I am, getting hot and heavy in my room. He took control so quick that I didn’t realize he took off my shirt, I knew because he asked me about my tattoos. It felt like hours we shared passion, no sex, just rubbing up against each other. I checked the time, it was 8:44pm, we’ve been in my room for 3 hours!

“Oh my, time really flies when you’re making out” I panted “Everyone is probably wondering where we are.”

“Yea, you want to teleport to the main street and stroll in or..”

“Well before we do that, why don’t you give me a nice love mark on my neck?” I said laying down on my bed, exposing my neck “I want to show the squad back at the dorms that I got to kiss a side-kick.”

“Anything for you darling” he goes in and gave me a couple of hickeys “there, I know you wouldn’t let them know who gave you these, love marks.”

“As long as I have another session before I leave.”

“Deal!” he gets up and tosses me my shirt “come on and get dressed, we gotta make it look like we aren’t tongue wrestling.” We do the plan and nobody’s the wiser. In the morning, the other agents took notice and they wanted details. I told them what happened but not with whom and they pat me on the back for being that bitch.

“Hey Tools, check the marks on the girl” nudged the man with the chaps to Tools “who do you think did it? I think its that agent that gives her coffee every morning.”

Tools starts to sweat a little “Maybe, I don’t see her getting close with anybody else.”

“Wonder how she did it, I bet she smells like a meadow” said another side kick “good for her though! At least one of us isn’t gay.” The other men at that tabled agreed and Tools hid his inner panic that everyone just assumes the other is gay because of the all male environment.

I shadowed the lead agent for the day, mainly because they didn’t have a plan for me for the whole 2 weeks. It was pretty standard and it was pretty much just avoiding the side-kicks until they have to relay information to them. Fast forward to day 11, interesting information comes in.

“Look alive agents!” alerted the lead “we found a lead on a league of villains look out spot, right here in our city” he shows us on an overhead a map of the city “here, a mile and a half outside the business district. We’re raiding tonight, the goal is to gain intel on who’s the scouts and why here, defeating them would be a plus.”

“Sir, is this a just agent mission?” asked one of the older agents.

“Yes, now that we have 19 in our team, we insure success and cut out those pesky side-kicks.”

“Are these missions not successful because of them?” I asked curiously.

“Yes, they’re always announcing themselves before attacking and it gives the perpetrator time to flee” the lead rolled his eyes and sighed “now that you’re here, you can do rescue, stealth and attack...almost like a 5 for 1 deal.”

“I like the sound of a no side-kick mission” I nod “Ok so when do we head out?”

“At midnight, they’re usually hanging around at around that time. Everyone is to suit up and strap in, we’re building hopping there.”

Night comes and I suit up and walk out my room, I get seen by Tools

“Hey where are you going?”

“Night patrol” I lied the best I could “Be back at sun up.”

“Wait, it’s a mission isn’t it?” he grabbed my hand “please be careful, I want to see you come back in one piece okay?”

I couldn’t look him in the eye “It’s not a big deal, I’ll be fine” I see the other agents run down the hall and I break out of his grip “see you later.” I get nervous, what if I do get injured? What if I do die, for real this time? So many what ifs that I tried not to think about as I had to get my mind in the mission. We get to the spot and see that it’s an alleyway and there was 2 scouts.

“Okay, we have 2 confirmed targets” said the brown haired agent, he had heat seeking quirk “from what I can tell, a male in his 20′s and a girl in her mid-teens.”

“Wait, let me see” I flip my visor down to activate the enhance feature, I see the two people “Yo, not to be that bitch again, but the male is kinda sexy” I enhance the image more to see his black hair, blue eyes, with what looks like patches of his skin stapled in a stylistic pattern “oh yea~ sexy villain alert, he won’t be hard to spot again if he runs.”

“Great work 19, do you think you can be part of the info team and eavesdrop on them?” the lead asked “We got your backs.”

I head with 2 others to snoop in, one of the agents had a camouflage quirk and the other had telepath. I copy the camouflage and slink our way down in the alleyway as the telepath stayed out of sight at the nearest rooftop.

“Dabi-kun! Can’t I just stabby stab the next one? Come on pleaseeee!?”

“Shut up Toga!” growled the male “it’s bad enough that we’re scouting and not in the hide out, its fuckin freezing out here!”

“Humph! Spinner lets me stab the ones that aren’t serious.”

Dabi and Toga huh? Interesting, there seems to be more of them in rotation. I remember that they kidnapped Bakugo but they don’t seem like the ones that are up the chain. Then the girl pulls out a fucking 4 inch knife and I don’t get scared but concerned for this girl’s mental health.

‘19, disarm the girl with your telekinesis’ said the telepath. I expose my armpits to wiggle the knife out of her hand. As I did, the girl freaks out, getting the attention of the male.

“What the fuck Toga?!”

“It’s not me! I swear! Something is controlling my knifey!”

“You fucking psycho bitch! Can’t fucking control your blood lust for like 5 minutes, I’m calling Kurogiri to get me the fuck out of here” he reaches into his pocket to take out a cell phone “maybe your lizard boyfriend will get switched in!” 

‘19! get the cellphone! and teleport it to me!’

I then wrestle the cellphone out of his hand, he doesn’t have a tight grip on it and I zipped it over to me and teleported it to the telepath. But to the 2 scouts, it looked like the cell phone disappeared into thin air. 

“Oh no! the alley is haunted!” screamed the girl “Dabi-kun I’m scared!”

“Great! Toga that was our only form of contact with the others” the male was losing his sanity “HEY GHOST BITCH! COME OUT AND FIGHT ME! or kill the girl, she’s super annoying.”

“HEY thats not nice Dabi-kun!” said the girl as she fought with her knife “once I get control of my knife, its over for you bitches!”

“I’ve had enough of this!” blue flames rise from his fists. I get kicked into high alert, time to fight sexy man and knife girl.

‘19! fight them off as 44 escapes to the others, I will let you know when they’re at the safe zone.’

Go time for me, without deactivating the camouflage, I levitate the two to distract them from the footsteps of the other agent as they fled.

“WAH! please don’t hurt me ghost-sama!” sobbed the girl. I tossed her in the dumpster and tossed the sexy man against the wall. No signal on the safety of my fellow agent, time to have some fun. I switch the voice changer on in my mouth to distortion.

“Wow, so this is one of the mighty league of villains? Don’t seem so tough or scary” I taunted as I picked him up and pinned him to the wall “and such a pretty one like you! What are you doing here all by yourself on such a cold night?” I touch his face for the copy, dropping the camouflage. He was taken back when he saw my covered face.

“W-who are you?!” he stammered in fear.

“I’ll save you Dabi-kun!” cried out the girl as she jumped out of the dumpster.

“Quiet little girl” I said as I blasted a wall of blue flame, blocking her from coming any closer to us “can’t you see the adults are talking?”

“What do you want from us? Are you one of those stupid renegades!”

“HA! renegades?! Don’t you dare call me one of those hero rejects!” I make a flame out of my free hand “call me that again and I’ll defile that pretty face of yours.” He stares at my blue flame, like I took it away from him “oh? impressed by my skill?”

“Look, I don’t know who you are or what you want. But we’re just here to scout so if-”

“Didn’t anybody tell you boy, this here city, its MINE!” I then get the update.

‘44 is in the safe zone, 19 teleport me out!’

“If I catch you here or your little club of little bitches around these parts, I’ll kill them and take your skulls as my trophies.” I let him go as I walk away.

“Who are you?” asked the male “I haven’t seen you around the scene.”

“They call me, the Black Phantom. Bye bye my raven haired beauty~” I teleported out to the telepath and then to the others.

“What in the actual fuck 19!?” said the lead when we got back to the agency.

“Am-am I in trouble?” I asked meekly because I did get carried away with my distraction.

“No, but that was the most AMAZING display of theatrics I’ve ever seen! Not to mention that you got evidence that we traced to their base while you were distracting them.” he got so giddy that it made me feel like I finally did something right “for once the agents have a successful mission in the books, boss will be so pleased with us. Rest up agents! We celebrate in the morning when we give the full report to Jinko.”

“Thank you sir!” we chanted as dismissal. Everyone pat me on the back for coming in clutch with the copy and the one liners. I get to my room and nobody noticed me walking in, I undress and sleep in peace. I wonder what the others have done?

-End Chapter 18-

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