#He has comforted me more in dark crying times than the rest of my family ever did. I think

[hajihiko]

@princettevivi

Literally yes

[myfictionaldreams]

Hey, can you do something with where the reader is pregnant in mafia stucky and Bucky and Steve are super protective about her?

Xoxo

Our Little Bean // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader

A/N: Thank you for your request, this has been requested quite a few times by many people so I hope you do enjoy!

Important note for readers: I'm currently working within maternity services within the UK so the pregnancy side of this is all based on a UK perspective but it's set in the US so apologies if anything is different over there. Also, the signs and symptoms are based on my bestie's pregnancy so thank you for letting me use these!

ALSO: I'm sorry if I don't do any more pregnancy/baby fics, I wanted to just do this one and return to the normal trio we had before.

Tags: 18+ readers only, unplanned pregnancy, fluff (LOTS!), comfort, soft steve/bucky, protectiveness, pregnancy kink, pet names, pregnancy symptoms discussed in detail, crying, family/domestic fluff, tooth-rotting goodness!

Words: 6.9k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

Your nausea never seemed to settle, barely being able to keep down dry toast or sips of water and then there was the immense exhaustion, finding yourself to be lucky if you were awake for an hour before falling asleep again. This, paired with the dizzy spells and dull aches in your temples, it was safe to say that you were done with feeling unwell and you definitely blamed Sam Wilson for this. He’d turned up to work last week feeling unwell, slightly different symptoms to yours as he had a head cold but ill nonetheless and now, here you were, collapsed onto the couch in the living room, under a mount of blankets.

It wasn’t all bad however as Bucky had stayed home to look after you and he was doing a good job of it too, but he and Steve were always extra attentive when you were unwell and had been taking it in turns to stay home, with Steve having stayed with you yesterday.

Bucky today had helped you wash, changed into fresh pyjamas and then carried downstairs, tucking you into your little fort before sitting on the floor and reading the book you were halfway through reading. You were too tired to read and didn’t want to keep your eyes open so Bucky offered, which was hilarious to hear him trying to read along and then asking questions as to the type of books you’ve been reading.

“So who is this Rhysand guy? Just some hotshot king or something?” he asked, lowering the book to look at your resting face. You smiled tiredly at his question, opening one eye to look into his confused expression, he was already invested in your book, even though he had started more than halfway through.

“Something like that”, you replied, voice croaking from needing water which he was quick to notice, lifting the glass with the straw to your mouth and you hummed your thanks, taking a sip and closing your eye once more.

You fell back to sleep again and woke to be carried, noticing that it was dark outside with another day passing as Steve carried you up the stairs, having returned home from work. Your arms were trapped into the blanket cocooned you were being carried in so you nuzzled your face into his neck to let him know you were awake.

Steve tilted his head, kissing the top of yours as he placed you into the centre of your shared bed, “think you’re up for eating some chicken noodle soup?”

“Did you make it?”, your voice was full of hope as you blinked open your eyes to look up at him but made no attempt to move just yet.

“Of course, only the best for you”. Steve left to retrieve your soup, giving you time for another quick snooze, before he was back and shaking your shoulders. With his help, you untangled yourself from the soft blankets and attempted to sit up but were hit with a wave of dizziness, having to stop and close your eyes to get your bearings straight before it subsided and you could sit up properly. Steve was looking at you with a knowing glance as he sat on the edge of the bed, a warm noodle soup bowl in his lap that he began to spoon-feed you - something he insisted on. “You know I’m going to call the doctor, right?”

You release a frustrated huff, you didn’t need the doctor, “It’s fine though, it’ll pass. Sam said it took him 4 days before he started to feel better and I’m only on day 3”.

“Baby, you’re on day 4 and you said this all yesterday and it’s only getting worse”, he stated everything matter-of-factly but you were still shocked that you’d somehow missed an entire day. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to see a doctor and there was no use arguing with Steve when it came to your health.

So after you’d finished half a bowl of the soup before feeling queasy, Steve excused himself to call his doctor who just so happened to be a close family friend. Of course, you had fallen asleep before the Doctor arrived and being rudely awakened made you feel even more groggy and unwell as Steve whispered, “Sorry honey, but Doctor Banner’s here to check you over”.

Steve excused himself so the Doctor could check you over properly without feeling pressured by the mafia boss in the room. Doctor Banner put you at ease though with his warming personality and you’d met him on a few occasions anyway when Steve or Bucky were more injured through an event with work, but you’d never had him look after you before.

The two of you ran through the general list, ‘When did you start feeling like this?’, ‘What are your symptoms?’, before he began doing your vital signs, temperature and blood pressure, all just normal procedures.

“Could you be pregnant?” he casually asked as he velcroed the blood pressure cuff from your arm.

Frowning you answered, “Um no…no, I’m on birth control, so I shouldn’t be”.

“Do you mind if we do a quick test just to tick it off of the list? All you need to do is pee in this cup and I’ll dip a test strip into it”.

You wobbled to the toilet on unsteady feet, realising this is probably the first time you’d properly walked in days because the boys insisted on carrying you everywhere. As you used the toilet, you didn’t think anything of the test, leaving the cup on the side for the doctor and returning back to bed, wondering if he’s going to give you some antibiotics or just see how you get on over the next few days.

After a few minutes, your eyes were closed but you could hear the Doctor returning so you asked, “So, do you think it’s just the flu like I said-”

“It’s not the flu, your test was positive”.

Your eyes snap open to look at him, sitting up and feeling dizzy but ignoring it, “what? What do you mean it’s positive?”

Doctor Bruce held up the little white strip that had two purple lines on it. You looked between the test and his face as he calmly smiled, “You’re pregnant”.

“What if the test is wrong? Can we do it again?” Thankfully he didn’t fight you on this and gave you the packet of tests, you grabbed two and stumbled back to the bathroom. Both strips gave the exact result and now it felt like your heart was coming out of your mouth it was pounding so hard and loudly in your ears.

“Take a deep breath for me”, Doctor Banner calmly instructed as he placed a steady hand on your back in case you needed extra support. You took a few deep breaths, not even realising that you had been holding your breath. Gripping onto the bathroom side, you began to feel dizzy again so he helped you back to bed waiting until you were settled before continuing.

“This explains your symptoms, I’d say you were in your early stages of pregnancy so we’ll book an appointment with the midwife tomorrow and sort out things like a scan. You may feel that your symptoms get worse over the next few weeks and if they do, you can always call me back but otherwise, stay rested and take it easy”.

You were only half listening. Midwife? Scans? Symptoms getting worse? There was so much for your brain to process. There was an actual baby inside of your body right now, a part of you and… who? Your anxiety was increasing with each second as you tried to let the words sink in as the Doctor packed his stuff away. Did you want to have a baby right now? You had always wanted kids but were you even ready at this stage of your life but then again… was anyone ready for a baby when they were accidentally knocked up?

Then the knocked-up by who question echoed through your thoughts. You obviously didn’t know if the baby was Steve's or Bucky’s, so would they be upset about this? If it was planned at least there could be some way you could arrange who to have sex with to know for sure but now… you were all in the dark about the paternity. You didn’t care if it was Steve or Bucky, you were always a trio in every sense of the word but now that this was your reality, would they be pissed off? And were they even ready for kids? The business took so much of their time and was still very dangerous but this was bound to happen eventually as you all wanted children.

Bucky and Steve had always been very open that they wanted kids, especially Bucky with his affection name for you being ‘mama’, he often would talk about his fantasy of seeing you barefoot and pregnant with his kid. So, at least you knew they were on the same page about wanting to have children but now it was the stress of is now the right time and who was the father of the baby?

You were vaguely aware of the Doctor bidding his farewells, “I’ll speak to you tomorrow and I’ll let you tell your partners the good news”. You offered a half-assed wave to him as he left, before staring at your hands in your lap, completely petrified for the next few minutes.

Steve and Bucky wandered in a few beats later, sitting on either side of you on the bed but you couldn’t look them in the eye, trying desperately to hold it together.

“Everything ok, Doll? The Doc didn’t tell us what was wrong, just said you would explain”, Bucky asked, stroking a finger down your arm to try and soothe you but it was enough to make you break.

You burst into tears, hiding your face in your hands.

“Honey? What is it? Talk to us”, Steve encouraged, attempting to pull your hands away from  your face but you held them there tightly so instead, he pulled your body into his lap, your legs over his thighs so that you could hide your face into his chest, the sobs building in intensity and everything was just so overwhelming. You were excited, scared, relieved but nervous, it was a lot to handle.

Steve and Bucky encouraged you to talk to them both, becoming more unsettled with your increasing hysterics. It took a few minutes to calm down, and it helped as Bucky held both your hands, rubbing circles into your skin and Steve wrapped his arms around your shoulders, holding you close to his body. You decided it was better to just tell them than keep it to yourself any longer.

With your face still pressed into Steve’s face, you whispered “I’m pregnant”, however, it was so muffled and quiet that neither man heard you.

“What was that sweetheart?”, Steve asked, trying to pull you away enough that both men could see your tear-stained face.

The words sounded strange coming from your mouth as you kept your head hanging lowly, mumbling, “I’m pregnant”.

You knew that they had heard this time by the way both completely froze, not even breathing as they processed the news. Bucky finally whispered, “What?”

You still couldn’t look at him, scared you’d see disappointment or anger in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” Steve asked in such a faint voice you were shocked it was even from him.

Nodding your head at his question you explained, “We checked a couple of times, he thinks I’m still in my early pregnancy but-ah!”

You jumped as Bucky all but tackled you and Steve, his lips kissing every part of your face that he could reach and when he pulled back enough to cup your cheeks, you took in the glowing grin on his face, his eyes twinkling with love as he shouted, “you’re pregnant! We’re having a baby!”

Steve then seemed to snap out of his initial shock and his arms tightened and lifted your body further up so he could kiss your face just as happily as Bucky before nuzzling into your neck, breathing you in, “I love you so much sweetheart, I can’t believe it! Wait, why were you crying, are you not excited?”

He relaxed his hold on you so that they could both see you properly and you had room to look at them both. “I... I am excited! I just wasn’t sure how you would both react as I don’t know which of you is the dad-”

Bucky leans across and kisses your lips quickly cutting off your sentence, the grin still broad across his face, “I don’t fucking care, if the baby has my genes or Steve’s, we’re all in this together, remember? That’s what we’ve agreed on”.

“So you aren’t upset?” you wanted to clarify.

“Fuck no hot mama… and you’re actually going to be a mama! This little bean is ours, all of ours!”

You were crying again with relief, “you really mean that?”

His eyes softened, kissing the corner of your mouth, “Of course I do”.

“We both mean it, I… I can’t believe it, I’ve always wanted to be a Dad”, Steve admitted, kissing your temple and as you looked up, you could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears which only made you smile and cry harder.

Steve made the move first, lowering his hand over your abdomen, resting over your stomach where there was no bump yet but knowing there was something growing inside you, he couldn’t help the relieved gasp. Bucky was quick to cover his hand and yours on the top so the three of you were feeling where the baby would be. “I can’t believe we’re going to be parents!”

The next few days were a whirlwind of excitement and unimaginable joy whilst also still feeling relatively unwell, especially feeling more exhausted as you wanted to buy every pregnancy book and read them all but soon fell asleep with it open in your lap.

Then there was Steve and Bucky who could not contain their excitement, going above and beyond for you, especially with you still feeling ill. They would cook and feed you, if you were too tired, refill your glasses of water, constantly ask if you were comfortable and more than happy to fetch another pillow if needed. Not only this, but their levels of affection had increased massively, whispering their love for you at any opportunity, holding your hands, and lots of kisses, it was so nice to feel this level of love when going through such a life-changing experience.

Both of them had been just as motivated to read about pregnancy, birth, babies, and the whole lot from A to Z, they researched everything that was possible and then gave you the rundown on what your bodily changes would be including what you couldn’t eat, vowing to not eat the same items until you could which you didn’t seem necessary but appreciated the gesture.

Then there was the excitement of going to the Midwife’s appointment and it all became so much more real again, especially being able to book the ultrasound scan. This was where you found out that you were 8 weeks and 3 days and the entire world seemed to pause around the three of you as you watched your baby's tiny heartbeat on the screen.

To say you all cried was an understatement, all of you not taking your eyes off of the scan picture that was provided, the little bean was so tiny, only just being able to tell the outline of its arms and legs. Now it felt official. You, Steve and Bucky were going to have a baby.

Many things changed including protection that increased tenfold. Security around your home doubled and you had not only Sam Wilson as your bodyguard but also Natasha. Not only this but if you attending the business or in public, Steve and Bucky would crowd around you, almost like a human shield, their overprotective instincts on overdrive, even from people who were just at the check-outs in stores. Sam and Natasha were confused by the sudden dynamic intensity and it was hard to keep it all a secret but you had all decided to wait just a little while longer and continue with your unknown illness excuse just until the baby had grown a little bit bigger.

This was something else that you had to get used to with adjusting to the many bodily changes you were going through to adapt to growing this baby. A few days following the scan, you’d come downstairs to Steve cooking you scrambled eggs which were your usual favourite breakfast but as soon as you smelt those cooking eggs, you were gagging and rushing to the toilet, throwing up violently.

Your eyes were watering as you finally stopped emptying your stomach but still gagging as you could smell the lingering eggs in the air. A warm hand rubbed circles over your back, Steve’s apologetic voice came from behind you, “Sorry, baby. No more eggs”.

This was the first instance of vomiting and it wasn’t just eggs, as every single day you would be throwing up and then feeling extremely tired afterwards that you weren’t able to do much throughout the day but be with your head in the toilet or lying in bed. The boys were almost glued to your side during this time, worried that you weren’t keeping enough food or drinks down and even had to call Doctor Banner back just to check you weren’t too dehydrated.

Thankfully you hadn’t needed to go into hospital as your vomiting subsided but the nausea remained for a while.

“You sure she’s ok? She’s looking a little peaky,” Sam commented to Steve one day as he came to help guard the house and was having his lunch with you all but he took one look at you and knew something wasn’t right, even as you forced the sandwich into your mouth, making sure to still eat for you and baby… not that Sam knew about the baby.

“Yeah, she’s fine Sam, thanks for checking though and we appreciate the extra hours you’re doing”, Steve responded with a thankful grip on his friend's shoulder.

“It’s no problem man, just worried for her that’s all, don’t really understand what’s going on with you all, especially with the extra security and whatnot and I feel like I’ve hardly spoken to her for a few weeks now. Just want you to know I’m always here if you ever need anything”.

You felt guilty when Steve later told you what Sam had said, feeling bad that you were keeping it secret but it was only for a few more weeks.

Luckily, you had found the special trick to help your nausea as suggested by a friend: lavender! After sitting with a bag of dried lavender for a couple of hours and not feeling nauseous, Steve and Bucky were quick to fill the entire house with lavender-scented items including candles and sprays, even having some in the car and it helped to settle your nausea massively.

But, as soon as one symptom passed, another would be replacing the uncomfortable feeling. The next was your breasts becoming incredibly painful and sore, even if you accidentally knocked them when putting on a bra or rolling over in your sleep, it was agony. Your boyfriends were even more careful with you during this phase, getting ice to hold against them during particularly painful moments and being careful to give you enough room when asleep.

A couple of weeks later was the first day you noticed the little bean kicking, at first it felt like maybe gas, almost like there were butterflies fluttering in your tummy but then you finally realised what it was. The feeling grew stronger with each day as well as the size of your growing stomach which was something Steve and Bucky were going absolutely feral for. They would take pictures each week to show your progression and would constantly be placing their hands on your stomach, even if the bump wasn’t that noticeable just yet.

The midwife recommended talking to the baby at one point so every night, you would sit with a shirt off and Steve and Bucky would lie on either side of you, taking it in turns to tell stories, sing their favourite songs and lay sweet kisses along the growing bump. One day, Bucky was telling the little bean about the time he and Steve snuck into a movie theatre when the skin under his cheek poked out as the baby kicked him in the face. Bucky sat up with excitement, it being the first time he had properly felt the baby move as he cooed, “there's our strong baby, good job little bean!”

“You hit the right dad as well”, Steve joked causing Bucky to smack him in the shoulder.

“Don’t listen to Dad, listen to Pops, I’m right here to make everything’s ok”, Bucky continued to speak sweetly to your stomach.

Your heart swelled at the difference in names that he had seemed to pick, “is that what you’d like to be called?” you asked them both, stroking a finger across each of their cheeks, feeling the stubble beneath.

“It’s perfect”, Steve beamed, kissing your stomach again.

Now it was your 20-week scan, Baby was so much bigger, you couldn’t believe the difference those weeks had made since the last scan. Now it was really starting to look like a baby with longer limbs and you were even able to find out the gender, however, you had wanted to wait to find out, liking the thought of it being announced at the birth.

With these beautiful new prints of the scans, you finally wanted to tell people, beginning with your closest friends.

It was a casual lunchtime meal at the office. You sat at the large table in between Steve and Bucky, with Sam and Natasha sitting opposite, all idly talking and eating the take-out that Steve had bought. However you had opted for a different meal: 4 packs of salt and vinegar chips and a tub of tomatoes - both were your latest cravings.

Sam eyed your food wearily, “Interesting mix you’ve got there, boss lady?”

Your only response was smiling with your cheeks full of tomatoes as Bucky placed his hand over your thigh. You knew he wanted to put his hand on your stomach but you hadn’t told either of the people across the table just yet and even though your bump was starting to become noticeable now, you were trying to hide it behind baggy shirts but even that was becoming difficult. You were in desperate need of some new trousers as well as the button was digging into your skin as you shifted uncomfortably, looking at each of your boys, feeling antsy with excitement as well.

“Can we tell them? I really need to take off my trousers, I’m feeling really claustrophobic”.

Sam frowned at your random sentence, confused by what you meant however it was Natasha’s reaction that sparked your interest as she smirked, leaning back in her chair with a tilt of the head. You looked at her with a gaped-open mouth, pointing your finger at her, “You already know! Who told her?” you asked, looking between Bucky and Steve.

“Wasn’t me”, they both responded at the same time, holding up their hands as you eyed them both suspiciously.

Natasha leaned forward in her chair, “did you really think that I wouldn’t notice? I’m offended Sugar, it’s in my job description to be observant. In fact, you should be asking if Sam is right to keep this job if he can’t notice something this obvious”, she teased the man sitting next to her who still looked just as confused as before.

You laugh at Sam’s reaction, looking to Steve who handed you the sealed cards. You happily took them, standing from your chair and feeling Bucky’s hand on your lower back to help and then walked around the table, giving them both a card each. It wasn’t anything special or elaborate, but it had a picture of the latest scan with the statement: “Update to your job title; bodyguard & uncle/auntie”.

You’d never heard the high-pitched tone from Sam ever before as he quickly stood, his chair squeaking across the floor as he shouted, “What?!” He turned to you, looking between you, the picture and Steve and Bucky, “Really?!”

You pulled the back of your shirt so the material was tight to your front, showing off your growing bump, grinning as he shouted “Congratulations!”, before pulling you into a huge hug, careful of your belly but rocking the two of you on the spot a few times and kissing your temple, “I can’t believe I’m going to be an uncle again!”

Sam was then pushed aside, giving room for Natasha, “Move it, Wilson, I want to meet my niece or nephew”, Sam didn’t mind being moved as he rushed around to embrace Steve and Bucky.

Natasha hugged you tightly, and you were able to ask, “How long have you known?”

“A couple of weeks, you aren’t as subtle as you think at hiding things. I mean, you’ve hardly been awake enough to have a conversation, this is the most lively I’ve seen you in nearly a month. And that's without the new obsessive protecting from Steve and Bucky, how they’re always touching you and the weird food you’re eating, it’s more noticeable than you think it is”. She pulls back to put her hands on your growing bump, “how many weeks are you?”

“20 weeks and 5 days, I can feel the little bean moving more with each day, I feel so big already and I’m not even showing that much considering I’m only halfway through my pregnancy”. Natasha grinned hearing this, looking at your little bump. “Now you both know, I can take off my pants without being judged”, you groaned as you undid your jeans button, utter relief when they were completely removed from your body and felt free, your shirt was long enough that it stopped mid-thigh so you weren’t too unmodest.

Bucky had snuck behind you, his arms wrapping around to rest on your stomach as he kissed your cheek. Natasha smiled watching the embrace as she remarked, “Guess you got what you wanted all along Barnes, now you can call her mama and she actually is one”.

“Mmm absolutely”, Bucky nuzzled into your neck, the sensation making you laugh as it tickled, turning to shy away from his attack but he only held you tighter until you melted into his arms.

Steve and Sam joined your little gathering and Sam jokingly asked, “So if the baby’s a boy, can we name him Sam?”

You were so thankful for the news being out, especially as this meant that you could go baby clothes shopping with Sam and Natasha, finding little outfits that you could surprise your boyfriends with. It was one of the only things you were able to do for them to show your appreciation as they did so much for you throughout your pregnancy.

Your cravings continued to become stronger with each day and often found yourself waking in the middle of the night to find something to quench the craving for something acidic and sour taste you needed so desperately it felt like your world was going to end if you didn’t eat it right then and there. On multiple occasions, Steve or Bucky would come downstairs in the early hours of the morning to find you sitting on the kitchen floor, your belly round and exposed, hating feeling material against your skin, and a scattering of different foods surrounding you, a happy smile on your face.

“You ok down there beautiful?” they would ask with grins that matched yours and with your heightened emotions you would be crying before long, reaching for them to come and sit with you which they would do eagerly, pulling your body in between there legs and kissing away your tears, “don’t cry pretty girl, I’ve got you”.

If you ever run out of your favourite cravings, they would drive to the store and you were buzzing to go along for the ride in the middle of the night, fully awake and ready for the night time adventure only to fall asleep before getting to the store.

Entering into the third trimester, your belly was round and heavy, things for sure were becoming more difficult for you as the little bean grew. There were small excitements still like attending antenatal classes with your boyfriends who were taking their role as dad and pops  very seriously, you’d never seen them concentrate so hard before.

“You’re doing the boss face again”, you whispered to Steve as he correctly wrapped the baby doll in a blanket. Steve's features softened immediately as he sheepishly looked at you from the corner of his eye.

“I’m just trying to concentrate”, he mumbled, eyes returning to looking at the doll, his fingers trembling slightly as he continued wrapping steadily.

Reaching across you grabbed his hands, keeping your voice low to keep the conversation between the two of you, “I’m scared too, but you’re going to be a great dad, Steve, you’ll be ok”.

This was a little pep talk you needed to have with both Bucky and Steve on numerous occasions as they began panicking that this was actually happening and whilst you reminded them there was nothing they could do to take back the growing baby in your belly, it was ok to have nerves, but everything would come to them with time, they needed to stay strong, especially as you were also sort of beginning to lose it.

Your body was really changing to accommodate the growing little bean. Your hands and feet were swollen until your shoes couldn’t fit anymore and god…the heartburn was excruciating, and nearly as painful as the kicks to the ribs. There was never a moment where you weren’t out of breath, even standing to pour cereal into a bowl took all of your energy and you’d be sighing in relief as you sat down. Your hips hurt, your back was in agony, and the pregnancy fun had well and truly finished.

This was where the boys really shined through as they would massage your hands and feet, they would be more then happy to cook or grab anything for you, picking things off of the ground, finding clothes that might fit and then there were their compliments which was one thing keeping you going.

Steve and Bucky could not get enough of seeing you pregnant, “you’re glowing honey, pregnancy suits you so much, my love”. You never felt like you were glowing and would describe yourself instead as a huge, hungry, tired monster but the way the boys looked at you, put those negative thoughts to the back of your mind.

From the moment you woke up to the second sleep would invade your consciousness, they would remind you of their love, needing you to fully comprehend how much they appreciated you growing their baby, you were doing so much for them, putting your body through it, for all of you, for the little bean.

Their words definitely helped when you began to feel needier in more than one way as your hormones caused your arousal to be one-minute non-existence and the next feeling nearly overwhelmed with how badly you needed to touch them and be touched. Thankfully with how obsessed they were with you during your pregnancy, they were more than happy to deliver. Hands would be all over, their lips leaving words of affirmation against your warm skin, being careful not to be to rough and more than happy if you wanted to take control and do whatever you wanted to them.

You had to be honest and say you never felt more loved up before. Even with the gang still in full operation, they were able to look after you as their number one priority, even through your emotional breakdowns, or weird pregnancy habits that had you thinking you were slightly insane but they never judged once.

For example, towards the end of your pregnancy, you had a completely immense craving to chew on your bath sponge every time you sat in the large bathtub. So when one day Steve walked in with a freshly warmed-up towel and caught you mid-chew with staring eyes, you expected his reaction to being anything but a soft smile, “You having fun in there, baby?”

Pulling the sponge out of your mouth slowly you nervously answered, “I uh… I don’t really know how to explain…”

Steve held up a hand, “You don’t have to explain anything, whatever makes you happy and I think I’ve read in a book that sometimes pregnant women can have cravings like this, whatever makes you happy”.

As your due date closened, you sat in the centre of the large bed, watching Bucky shuffle his way through your clothes, trying to find the right things to pack for your hospital bag. “What about this?” he asked, holding up a pair of your normal jeans.

“They haven’t fit me in four months, Bucky”, you laughed, shaking your head. “I need pyjamas or baggy shirts, things that can be easily taken on and off, maybe you should just leave Steve to do it”, you suggested whilst holding out your arms.

Bucky shrugged, dropping the jeans and jumping onto the bed, making you squeal with the bed moving up and down before he had his hands against your bump, kissing the tip of your nose. “Not long until we meet you little bean”, he was rewarded with a kick against his metal palm that had you wincing. “Hello baby, I love feeling you kick so much but be gentle to Mama she’s doing such a good job with keeping you safe”, he leaned down to kiss your belly as your fingers delved into his hair.

“It’s ready!”, Steve shouted from another room, catching both of your attention. Bucky jumped up first and then helped you to stand, keeping his hand on your lower back as you wobbled to the spare room that Steve and Bucky had been decorating as the nursery. It was something you had left them in charge of organising, not having the energy over the last nine months to even think about decorating and Steve and Bucky were more than excited to take on the job and so far had kept it secret from your prying eyes.

As you looked around the room, tears swelled in your eyes instantly, reaching to hold onto Steve and Bucky, praising, “It’s perfect!”. There was a beautiful baby cot, pictures of the three of you surrounding the ultrasound scan photograph on the wall, a painting you knew Steve had done, and a rocking chair in the corner that Bucky had claimed as his for the night feeds he’d volunteered himself for.

Now it was all just a waiting game.

“You’re doing it again”, Bucky commented from where he stood in the entryway to your home having returned from the office a few days later.

“No, I’m not, I’m just cleaning-”.

“Nesting… You’re nesting, Doll”, Bucky reminded you, taking away the cloth from your hands and throwing it to the side so he could hold your shoulders and kiss your temple. “Go and rest, you’ve only got a few days left!”

You roll your eyes as you leaned into his warmth, your bump touching him first as you hugged around his chest, “Bucky most babies aren’t born on their due dates you know, I just want to make sure everything is perfect around the house and ready”.

“Everything IS perfect, please just rest”. You relented to him, feeling tired already from the ten minutes of standing, moving to sit on the couch when a period cramp suddenly began in your lower abdomen, causing you to scrunch your face up in pain, especially as it was followed by a large kick to the ribs.

“Woah, are you ok?” Bucky asked, his hand cupping your cheek.

“Yeah, probably Braxton hicks or something, it’s fine”, you say, finally sitting down and putting your feet on the small table. Bucky didn’t seem convinced and continued to be a mother hen throughout the rest of the night, even though the pains subsided after you had a nice warm bath.

As your due date came and went, you were becoming restless, needing the baby out, feeling overwhelmed with how big you felt, wanting to meet the baby and hating waiting around. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried everything either. Eating spicy foods, and going for walks, especially up and down the stairs which was incredibly uncomfortable with how low the little bean’s head was sitting in your pelvis. You’d even had sex a few times, Bucky was more than happy to hear that nipple stimulation could induce labour but still, nothing happened.

Those period cramps would come and go throughout these days as well, getting your hopes up before they disappeared and still, no signs that your labour was even happening. 

On the fourth day following your due date, you awoke suddenly in the middle of the night to another period cramp that started in your lower back and spread around to your front. Even though this felt different,  you didn’t want to wake the boys and get theirs or your hopes up as you tried to slide out of bed without waking them to use the bathroom for what felt like the tenth time that night.

“You ok, baby?” Steve asked, his eyes still closed but his hand reached for you in the darkness.

“Yeah I’m, ok, go back to sleep Steve”, you encouraged, touching the back of his hand before pushing yourself up and waddling to the toilet, using it and then realising just how wide awake you were and the dull ache of the pains still lingered so you decided to run a warm bath. During the time that it was filling up, you had another pain which took longer to subside but this was always how it started with the intensity increasing but after the bath, it usually stopped. 

However, even as you let the warm water settle over your body, easing your muscles but the pains continued but at least the little bean was lovely and happy as he or she gave you a powerful kick to your ribs. The next pain had you gritting your teeth, eyes clenching closed as you held onto the side of the tub, waiting for it to pass but this pain lasted for nearly a full minute, and you decided maybe it was time to take some pain relief.

Standing and awkwardly climbing out of the bath, you dried your body and picked up your night dress to pull over your head when another pain came and took your breath away, your stomach hardening and causing you to moan lowly, bending over to blow the pain away.

“Honey?” Steve shouted from the bathroom having heard your moan as he waited for you to come back to bed. You couldn’t answer him as the pain consumed you, and he was rushing to be by your side, Bucky following closely behind him. Steve rubbed your back slowly as your pain finally began to ease so that you could look up at them both.

“Wow, that one was strong”.

“You ok? Can we get you anything?” Bucky asked, stepping forward with worry etched on his face.

“I’m ok.... I think… I don’t want to get my hopes up that this isn’t contractions but fuck, it hurt like hell”, you muttered, bending over to pick up your dress from the floor and then a trickle of clear liquid dripped down the inside of your leg. All three of you noticed as you tentatively looked up, “Is it bad that I can’t tell if I’ve just wet myself or if that’s my waters…”.

Neither of your worried boyfriends had time to answer as another painful wave came and had you doubling over, leaning your head against the sink. Steve was quick to grab you and let you lean against his strong body, remembering what he had learned from the antenatal appointments to help you through the pains, “That’s it baby, breath in and out, nice and slow”. It helped to listen and ground yourself through the pain as Bucky’s cold metal hand rubbed against your lower back, helping to ease the intense pressure from the baby.

The pain lasted for the same amount of time as the previous one and the clear liquid, which was definitely not urine, had gushed out more, forming a small puddle onto the floor. “Ok, I think it’s time we call someone”, you decided.

Bucky kissed the back of your head as he ran to get the phone and Steve helped you to pull your shirt on, his thumb brushing your chin as he sensed your anxieties, “You’re going to do amazing my love, we’ll be with you every step of the way”.

[huffleflufflefly]

Now That I "See" You - An Ominis Gaunt x Reader One Shot

I've edited this so many times and yet I keep finding typos and mess ups 😥. I hope it's all better now.

Ominis Gaunt x Reader One Shot

Fluff? I think? I'm new to this. It's not spicy so.

Temporary eyesight, kissing, cuddling...I think that's it XD

(I got this idea from deaf people having Cochlear implants to be able to hear and I thought, what if they made glasses so you could only see when you wear them? (Using magic obviously, I know we can’t do that IRL) Also, if you got tired or overwhelmed seeing things, you could just take them off! Similar to the implants, when you don’t want to hear, you can just take the magnets off. Anyway I’m not the best at writing, but this idea was in my head for a long time! Enjoy!)

Basically: You’ve been working on a temporary fix to help Ominis see. You’ve tried multiple potions, charms, the lot. You came up with an idea to somehow enchant a pair of glasses to help him see. You’ve tried quite a few times, but you felt this pair was the one!

"I've done it!"

I yell as I sprint over to where Ominis is. He's in his usual spot. The cold, hard floor of the Defense Against the Dark Arts tower.

"You've said that at least a hundred times already" He teased, a small smirk playing on his lips as he looked in your general direction.

You shoot him a playful glare which he can sense, making his smirk grow wider. "Oh c'mon, try to be a little more supportive than that! This is for you, you know!"

I reach into my bag and pull out my invention as previous forms of it spill out, littering the floor. Pairs of glasses. Enchanted glasses to be specific. 

These are intended to let the user see temporarily while they have them on. Ominis has been very patient with you through this long process with each prototype, each one giving no new result so far aside from one that made him see a blinding light once. You apologized again and again until he scolded you. He asked you to continue in the hopes that that meant there was some improvement in store.

You'd been at it for hours, days. The dark circles under your eyes making it more than evident of your sleep deprivation. Fortunately, the boy you care so much to stay up these ungodly hours for didn't notice, or so you thought.

"I hope these work this time, for your sake." He definitely noticed. “I don’t understand why you’re going through all of this effort in the first place, (Y/N) .”

I sigh. “Do I need a reason? If I must, I was curious if there was anything that could be done. When Sebastian told me your family tried everything, I felt like there had to be something!

“You sound an awful lot like Sebastian right now.” He chuckled softly as I instruct him to close his eyes before placing the glasses on his face, resting them on the bridge of his nose.

His eyes opened slowly as he felt the cold metal against his nose. Nothing. No difference. Not even the brightness that hurt his eyes with the last pair. He comes up with something, anything to hear the smile in her voice.

“I think I see something! Little shapes!” He tries to settle his voice as he lies, but it’s obvious to  you.

“It’s alright,” You sigh in defeat, sinking to the floor to sit beside him. “I thought for sure this one would work! I used anything I could that claims to improve eyesight!”

He tilts his head toward you, a playful smirk growing on his face, “(Y/N), you can’t improve eyesight that wasn’t there to begin with.” He meant to say it in a teasing, yet comforting way, but then he heard a sniffle and quickly reached out to you, pulling you towards him before you could start crying. 

“Shh..I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way, darling.” He rubs your back gently as he tries to soothe your disappointed heart. “I don’t need to see to be happy. I have you and Sebastian in my life. I couldn’t ask for anything more.” One hand moves to your hair while the other searches for and cups your cheek. “I don’t need sight to know how much I’m cared for, nor how beautiful you are.”

At this you blush slightly, the heat carrying over to his fingers. Your frown curling into a smile. “I know that…but I wanted to try. You deserve to see this beautiful world.”

He puts a finger to your lips, cutting you off. “All I want is to be here with you, my dear.” Ominis traces his finger along your lips. “And maybe a kiss as well” You look into his cloudy blue eyes, a mischievous glint dancing across them.

“That can definitely be arranged.” You reach for him and pull him close, connecting your lips, the kiss laced with passion and understanding. Feeling his kiss settled your sadness and desire to keep trying to help him see. You relax almost enough to fall asleep in his arms, but tense up when you start slipping. 

After a few moments you pull away. “You know it’s a shame, you look very handsome in these glasses.” 

He chuckles, lifting a hand to caress your cheek. “If you’d like, I’ll wear them for a bit.” His eyes widen suddenly and flicker around your face. He…sees something! Similar to his wand, being able to see shapes, silhouettes of people and objects, but a bit different. He can see a bit more shapes. 

You notice his eyes travel to yours, locking onto them. “Ominis?” You look at him, a confused, concerned expression plastered on your face. He can see the outline of your eyebrows turning inward.

“I..I can see..maybe not everything, but…(Y/N)..I think it worked after all!” He cups your face, still looking into your eyes, lifting his hands to your face to feel the features he sees. “This is incredible! I see my hands moving, the outline of your jaw, your eyes.” He pauses for a moment, a warm, affectionate smile forming on his face. “You’re beautiful (Y/N)! Just as I thought! Oh Merlin, this is incredible!”

You take a moment to register his words, blinking rapidly. Finally, your face softens and you smile. “It worked?”

“Yes! I can see far more than I can with my wand!” He reaches down with ease and grasps your hands tightly. “Thank you (Y/N), truly.” 

Feeling both accomplished and full of love for this man, you pull him into a tight embrace. You both hold each other, tearing up slightly from the excitement. You immediately start thinking of more experiments to try out.

[chubbyreaderchan]

Crying in the Sand | Poly! Lost Boys x plus sized!Reader

Summary: The Lost Boy’s mate has some old “friends” come to town. She wants to spend time with them without her boys but they end up destroying her self-esteem instead. The boys will not let them get away with it. 

Warnings: Sexual innuendos but no real sex scenes, cursing, blood, violence, fighting, body shaming, self-hatred, anxiety, shirtless men for some reason, nudity, strong language, bullying, adult bullying, reader is larger in clothes size than the boys but they don’t care, Marko being let loose. Everyone in the coven is dating everyone else. No Michael or Star or Laddie :(

David’s arm wrapped around her plush hip, pressing her into his side gently. The boys were acting rowdy as they walked the boardwalk, minus Dwayne who was loyally carrying her bags despite her protests. She had been holding off the entire night to tell them she wasn’t going to be hanging out with them the next night. They had a hard time allowing their mate to go anywhere without them, but she made them promise to allow her to have other friends. Which was hard to do as an adult who surrounds herself with scary biker boys with pretty hair. 

But old friends were good. They didn’t know her boys, they had no idea they existed since they were coming to California for vacation from her hometown. They were only passing through the next night and then they were off to try to get to Hollywood and Disneyland for the rest of their trip. She was sure she was a fleeting thought in their minds. They hadn’t contacted her since graduation and she mostly forgot about them until they got her phone number from her family.

“You alright?” Dwayne said. 

His voice was low, and had the depth of dark chocolate and the warmth of his leather jacket on a cold night like tonight. His knuckle brushed over her plush cheek, a forest fire against her cheek despite his deathly cold. David’s fingers dug into her side and the leader looked at Dwayne, mildly annoyed he noticed her thoughts before he did. 

“What’s wrong, princess?” 

She took a deep breath. Now or never. 

“My friends from high school called me last night. I guess they are flying into Santa Carla because the tickets were cheap,” she said. 

(Y/n) leaned into David a bit more, as if seeking physical support from him. He was the leader and protector, she thrived off of that. She liked feeling his protection and listening to his opinions. 

“They want to hang out. Go to some beach. Something less popular than--” 

She motions around them at the crowds and lights. 

“They only have a day to stretch their legs and they want to hit up the beach before they go to Disney,” 

“Are you wanting to introduce us?” David asked. 

(Y/n) bit the inside of her cheek, thoughtful. That was something she hadn’t decided on yet. There were a few snakes in her old friend group and she did not want to share her boys with them. They had snatched so many crushes from her in the past, or even helped boys prank her with false dates. 

“No,” she was firm. “They are from a small town. They wouldn’t get it… or us,” 

David gave her a look, it was cold and distant. A tinge of jalousy seemed to sully the air. Dwayne’s hand joined David’s on her body. His hand pressed against the blonde leader it was intimate and comforting for both (Y/n) and David. 

“She should be able to see her friends without us,” Dwayne said gently. 

They could aways watch from a distance. 

Leave it to Paul to ruin the comfortable gazes between the two boys. His lanky arms wrapped around their human mate in a near breath stealing grasp. He nipped at her neck and she giggled at the ticklish sensation. 

“What? Don’t want your high school buddies to be jealous?” Paul purred. 

Marko was in front of her in an instant, keeping a steady pace walking backwards to look at her features. Her soft stomach was his favorite and he often encouraged her to show it off, but it was hidden tonight. With a final leer he grinned his devilish smile that made (Y/n) melt and give into practically anything he wanted. 

“Maybe she doesn’t want them to know how kinky our lady is,” Marko smile never wavered. 

His fists pulled at the opening of his jacket, tongue lapping out at his lips. 

“Not that they’d ever find out, amore,” 

Never in her life had she had so many boys pinning and loving her like they did. She felt wanted and taken care of all at the same time with the four wild vampires. 

“If we aren’t going to see you much tomorrow then we should go back to the cave,” David mused. 

The vampire swiftly tugged the cigarette from behind his ear, pressing it between his lips before lighting it. The hot burn of cigarette smoke filled the air even with his efforts to puff the smoke away from the fragile human he was so annamoured with. 

“Why’s that?” she asked. 

“We need to scent you,”

“Scent me?” 

He hummed, his own devilish grin tugged at his lips. It wasn’t fair how handsome he was. It took everything in (Y/n)’s body to run her fingers through his course facial hair. 

“Can’t have any others trying to touch what is ours,” 

His face was close to her’s now. David’s scent of tobacco, mint, and metal washed over her face. He leans in close and almost purrs his next words. 

“And kitten, you can touch my beard all you want…. But I think it might feel better against your thighs,” 

Her face heated and her thighs rubbed together at the insinuation. The sharp ears of the others caught every word and like a pack of hyenas they howled with laughter. 

“I would punch you if you weren’t so pretty,” she said,

She crossed her arms over her chest like a child. David couldn’t help but laugh, knowing very well her threats meant nothing. His soft lips pressed against her’s in a chaste kiss. 

-- 

The day started with her friends arriving at her apartment. No, scratch that. One friend who was one of the snakes, and two girls who used to bully her relentlessly arrived on her front porch. She knew the snake friend was coming but apparently (Y/n) had assumed that she was still friends with the others she used to be around. 

“You look…” the snake, known as Allison grimced visibly. “Like you!” 

Ouch. That one hurt. She could feel herself folding in already and the day with them had hardly started. Ashley the blonde resident mean rich girl in the town hugged (Y/n) like she had a disease and only did so out of politeness. The third was a dark haired girl who always seemed to be a package deal with Ashley. Bridget… thought (Y/n) had often called her an “idiot” in her head. 

“Hi, uh…” she smiled fakely and followed Ashley into the apartment. 

“Once we get relaxed a smidge,” Ashley said. “We should go to lunch. Didn’t you mom say you work on a boardwalk?” 

“I thought you didn’t want to hit the boardwalk?” (Y/n) asked. 

“Oh, we don’t want to hit the boardwalk at night. Too crowded and… too dangerous,” she cringed. 

The plump girl wanted to roll her eyes, but she was right. The boardwalk plus peak summer season plus night and minus her boys could be a one way ticket to robbery… or worse. Though the “or worse” were her boys. She’d always be safe on the boardwalk. 

“Oh, sweetie, You aren’t going to wear that to lunch are you?” Allison asked. “It’s a bit tight don’t you think?” 

(Y/n) looked at the shirt that hugged her body quite tight, a faded Rolling Stones t-shirt. Yes it was a bit small, fitting a bit like a crop top and she did snip part of the neckline to fit a bit better but it was Paul’s shirt. He gave it to her. From his own clothes. 

“Here sugar,” the wild blonde grinned, tossing the t-shirt at her bare body. 

The boys were out feeding that night and Paul had practically destroyed her mind with incredible sex and just his overall vibe. They never liked her to be alone in the cave if they could help it. 

“Paul, how high are you?” 

“No, babe, it’s hi how are you,” he grinned jumping into her nest and kissing her jaw. 

“No, Paulie. Baby… I’m gonna stretch it out,” 

“And?”

“Don’t you like this shirt?” 

“It’s my favorite,” he grinned. 

His lips continued to kiss her neck. 

“I’ll ruin it. Stretch it,” 

“Well, call it payback, sugar,” He sucked on her neck. 

Her mind was getting fuzzy again. “For what?” 

“For you letting me stretch your pussy out,” 

The memory normally made her laugh but her fingers were now tangled at the hem of the shirt. Stress was filling her mind. 

“Yeah, I can change,” she said softly. “Just make yourselves at home,” 

It wasn’t long and she came out to the three girls giggling. It was like they never left high school. They looked up at her and Bridget laughs again. 

“Are you done?” (Y/n) asked. “Would you like to see the boardwalk or not?” 

“Of course, you look so cute. We’re gonna take my car. It’s bigger,” Ashley grinned. “A rental,” 

It took a lot to not gag at the fakeness in her voice. (Y/n) threw her bag over her shoulder, tracing the patch Marko had stitched into it as she walked to the car. 

“Bridgy,” Ashley smiled. “Let (Y/n) sit up front. She is hosting us after all,” 

Bridget climbs into the back and (Y/n) sits in the front telling her in detail the best ways to get the pier. She couldn’t remember the last time she was her in the day time, it was still lively but it was just a different feeling.

It felt more family friendly and not one wrong move from being either a rave or a brawl. No David holding her hip or Marko pinching her sides. No Paul wanting to sneak her off into one of the changing booths or even a Dwayne making sure she actually eats something that was sugar dipped in more sugar. It was a familiar loneliness she had hanging over her she had most of her teenage year as the three women linked arms and (Y/n) fell behind them. She was never lonely or felt as if she wasn’t wanted with her boys. 

Hell, if they didn’t want her around they would’ve eaten her by now… and not in the fun way. 

“Where should we eat?” Allison called over her shoulder. “What’s good?” 

“There’s a 24 hour diner near the Di--,” 

“What, no,” Ashley said. 

The preppy blonde was aghast at the mention of a diner. She rolled her eyes and reached into her beach bag. A pamphlet of the local attractions and restaurants she must’ve gotten at a rest stop at some point. 

“Oh, we should go to the seafood place,” Ashley grinned. 

(Y/n) cringed at the thought. The boys had told her many sketchy things about the owner and management. It was not a great choice but a water and a side salad would hold over until she could get a corn dog from her favorite booth. Maybe. 

The best part of the restaurant was definitely the air conditioning. It felt nice against her skin, she even tugged her well loved jacket from her shoulders. Another gift she had an argument over when David gave it to her. It was older, but with Marko’s sewing skills and patches from all of them it was transformed into hers, though the arms were a bit tight and it didn’t zip properly but it fit the best out of all the boy’s clothes and she adored it. Marko promised to make it fit better but she wasn’t sure she wanted it. It was like a constant hug from David, it even smelled like him. But even a punk can get sweaty in a jacket on the beach. 

---

“Why did you let us eat there?” Ashley whined as they walked down the boardwalk. 

“You wouldn’t listen if I told you,” (Y/n) replied. 

“Wait where are you going?” Bridget copied the whine of the other girl.

It made her want to jam a plastic fork into her ear. Somehow she managed to get in line at the good corndog place, as suggested by Marko. 

“I thought you were dieting. You know cuz the jacket was so tight and the salad,” Bridget accused. 

She shook her head and bit her lip. Her hand went into her pocket fidgeting with the coins inside. This was going to be a long day and it had barely started. She could’ve been in bed this whole time. Hell, she could’ve been in her nest the entire time, with her boys. Hell, she’d even hang out with Max at this point. At least he wasn’t an open asshole like these girls were. 

(Y/n) bit into the fried treat and sighed in contentment. 

---

“Are you sure this beach is private enough?” Allison called. 

Then she giggled and whispered. The sun was starting to set and the girls wanted to abandon the boardwalk quickly. (Y/n)’s mind ached from being around the three girls and she was practically counting down the hours until she could go back to her boys. By the time they were on the beach she knew of, the sun was down and it was quite dark. 

“Of course, I come here all the time,” she said. “Nothing for miles,” 

Other than a cave. 

“Oh good,” Allison giggled.

She tore off her top and began stripping in the dark. (Y/n) watched in shock. The darkness of the beach wasn’t enough to conciel the girls stripping down to their birthday suits. 

“Come on, (Y/n). We did this all the time back home. It’s why we wanted to come here at night,” she giggled. “Join us,” 

The grin on Allison’s lips would have mimicked Markos. This would have been a Marko or Paul idea but something felt off about this. The instinct to pull in and run as fast as she could was buzzing in her brain harder than the first time she saw a vampire feed. But just like then she pushed it away, the wild side that was primmed and built by the coven of vampires was screaming to just do it. 

A sharp swallow felt like it cut down her entire body. She pulled her jacket off then her top and the rest of her clothes. The girls were huddled and giggling, bile made it’s way up her throat. Bitter and painful as the rest ran into the water. Even at her age, peer pressure seemed to be winning her over as she went into the dark waters. Her heard was racing as the cold touched her hot skin. It cooled over the places where the sun had touched, she sighed again in contentment. The fear was washed away from her body with each crash of the wave. 

Her eyes fluttered shut and she enjoyed the sounds of the night. Quiet and still, with the occasional sound of wildlife that lived in the area. Quiet never happened with all the boys. Quiet could only be obtained with Dwayne or David. All four was shouting and calling and flirting and--. 

Giggles. 

(Y/n)’s eyes shot open. It was too dark to see anyone. She spun in a circle, hoping to see anyone. Anything. Gone. They left her. She swallowed hard, and fought back the tears of frustration and memories. This wasn’t the first time Allison played this prank. Leaving her in the middle of nowhere. But it was fine. She would just pull on her clothes and just go to the cave or the boardwalk and find her boys. 

She stepped onto the sand, careful not to step on a scuttering crab before heading to her clothes which---

They weren’t there. Her jacket. Her shirt. Even her swimsuit and bag were gone, hot tears filled her eyes arms wrapping around her bare body as she fell into the sand with a thud. Her breathing was hard and ragged. The bullying through the day seemed to have built up to this moment. It was as if time hadn’t moved since she was 16 and trying to blend in only to stand out more. She coughed out a sob. She hardly registered the rumbling of motors coming down the beach. 

---

“This is lame,” Marko said. 

He chewed at the glove on his left hand anxiously. The group of boys seemed dull. David was simply browsing the night’s produce, deciding which bodies could fill their bellies and the boredom without their mate to complete their family. 

No one peaked his curiosity. Hell, he wasn’t even that hungry, at least not that kind of hunger. David could practically still taste her on his tongue and her smell still lingered on the boardwalk. It was hours old but he knew her scent so well that it could’ve been just a few seconds ago. 

He was growing irritated. Like a caged jaguar. He wanted to rip into something, but had no one good enough. Nothing caught his interest other than a back and fourth look over the crowd. 

“Maybe (Y/n)’s friends left,” Paul said, hopeful. 

“If that’s the case she’d come to us,” Dwayne said, leaning back a bit on his bike. 

He stretched and grunted slight before leaning forward again on the handles. Dwayne didn’t need to stretch but it was an old human habit, like breathing. But he was disappointed when he remember that their little mate wasn’t their to ogle at his muscles beneath his skin. 

“Let’s go,” David flicked his cigarette carelessly. “No one looks worth it tonight,” 

They kicked off their bikes and onto the beach they drove. Taking the long sandy way home in the hopes of finding some form of entertainment. The pack were wooping and hollering but it didn’t feel as good as when it was filled with giggles. A piece of their coven was missing. David hated and loved how much she meant to the dynamic of their family. 

David inhales, sand brushed against his nostrils but that wasn’t the scent that bothered his nose. Tears. Fear. 

Her. 

Something was wrong, and David tried not to allow his true face out. He slowed his bike and the boys followed. Marko was next to him sniffing the air, he liked the smell of tears but not like this. They could see her curled in on her self crying. 

Naked. And crying. 

--

Leather enveloped her shoulders and she looked up to see Dwayne. He smiled at her sadly, kneeling to her level. 

He brushed a rough thumb under her eyes, wiping a tear off her cheek. 

“What the fuck happened, amore,” Marko was in front of her, hands gripping into fists. 

Pacing and cursing in Italian. David looked just as pissed and she didn’t see paul. Not until he threw the shirt he had on at her playfully. 

“Paul,” She whimpered. 

“Don’t even start, sugar. Just put it on,” 

His voice lacked any warmth. No happy go lucky Paul, but a serious man with anger in his voice. A black Led Zepplin shirt that smelled of him and weed. It stretched over her body, but it wasn’t enough to cover her bottom half. She moved Dwayne’s jacket to covers up but she was still very bare. But she did feel a bit better with her boys surrounding her. 

“What the hell happened,” David mimicked Marko’s question. 

His movements were so quiet she jumped when she turned to see him crouched infront of her, leather hands on her knees. 

“They convinced me to swim… without,” she sniffed. “Then took my clothes and left… I just want my jacket and bag back,” 

David pulled his large over coat off and placed it on her as well. 

“Don’t worry kitten, we’ll take care of it,” David said.

His gloved hand 

“I’ll take her back to the cave,” Dwayne said. 

He didn’t even hesitate. He lifted (Y/n) as if she weighed nothing, wrapping her tightly to keep her modest, not that anyone would see a thing or even look while in his arms. 

“I don’t,” 

“Don’t worry mama,” he soothed. “We’re flying. I’ll get my bike when you are in your nest,” 

--

Paul, Marko, and David were off. Following the scent of fake cucumber and soon to be dead bitches. Marko was the first to spot them, his eyes were especially sharp when he was pissed off and hungry. They didn’t care about safety or stopping, they tailgated them until the women finally pulled off. Clearly, they weren’t very smart. David’s bike barely stopped when he hopped off. Rage was fueling him, and his eyes were yellow. His hunger had suddenly returned. 

“What the hell--,” the blonde yelled. 

“Where the fuck is her stuff,” 

The woman in pink finally looked into David’s face. She stammered. Marko had already ripped the door of the passengerside causing the women to scream. Paul smashed the back window, seeing (Y/n)’s clothes and bag. 

The brunette screamed again as Marko tugged her from her seat. He held her so tight her arm snapped under the force and she screamed again. Marko’s long tongue flicked out before he took a rough bite. 

They would be another set of missing people. 

-- 

“Good thing you leave so much here,” Dwayne teased, running his hands over her thigh. It was a pair of sweat pants she had forgotten ages ago but she was grateful for them. She didn’t want to steal another item of their clothes. 

“Though I still think you’d be cuter in my boxers,” 

They were laying in her next again, right under where the boys would sleep. It was safest to them and they liked having her there, since she would be joining them on the ceiling someday. Dwayne leaned forward, kissing another stray tear. He had already left and retrieved his bike, and now he could be comfortable with her. His jacket was still over her shoulders and she was hugging David’s like a security blanket. 

Tears still crept from her eyes, but he could tell she was feeling better. 

His fingers traced over the waist band of her hips and he kissed another stray tear away. He kissed down her cheek all the way to her lips. Dwayne smiled when she returned the kiss, moving so she could touch his body. The cave rumbled and the other vampires came in wildly. The curtains moved and the first boy rushed in, bag on his shoulder and a grin on his face.

“Sorry, Dwayne. There wasn’t enough bitch for all of us,” Paul said patting his shoulder.

Happy Paul was back but his face and hands were coated in blood. He placed her things beside her bed and he leaned in to kiss her but Dwayne put a hand against his other lover’s chest. 

“Clean first, then kiss her.” 

“Yeah yeah, human blood disease,” Paul hissed. 

Marko rushed in next. Wild eyed and looking like he could go for another fight. But he was clean, or at least his skin was. His shirt was stained and ripped apart but his jacket was a beautiful as alway. 

 His eyes flickered around and landed on his girl. Puffy eyed, but smiling at him. 

“Feeling better, Venus?” He teased. 

She nodded. 

He shrugged his jacket off, then shoes, then his shirt before climbing in behind her. His arms snaked around her middle, squeezing at the doughy flesh of her belly just right. 

“Stop! That tickles,” She giggled trying to pull away from him. 

“Amore, how can I stop when you are just so irresistible,” 

Dwayne rolled his eyes at the antics. “Marko,” He was stern. 

Marko paused his tickling and rolled his eyes before just hugging his hurting mate from behind. He kissed her neck and nipped at the skin softly. 

“Don’t worry, my Venus,” he whispered. “Those girls wont ever hurt you again,” 

His breath is cool against her skin and she can’t help but to hum. She leaned against Marko and he allowed her enjoying her against his chest. 

The curtains pulled back again, David was now also shirtless his hair damp and gel-less. It was slightly messy without product and (Y/n) loved it very much. His lips curl into a smug smile. 

“I’m glad you like my jacket, kitten but I think I’d be a better replacement,” 

He crawled into the nest as well. He sat between Dwayne and (Y/n) taking the jacket from her hands before pulling her from Marko’s grip. She layed against his soft chest and he purred as her fingers danced over his soft belly before gently playing with his chest hair. Marko found himself back behind her, hugging for dear life. His fingers tapped against her middle. 

They all seemed to be buzzing with energy. 

“What the fuck? Why are you guys hogging the babe!” 

Paul launched himself into the pile of lovers wedging himself between the tangled legs of (Y/n) and David. Dwayne rolled his eyes before scooting into David’s other side, placing a hand on the exposed midriff of his princess. 

“I don’t think I want friends anymore,” she hummed. “You guys are like friends and boyfriends wrapped in one,” 

“You should still have friends,” Dwayne said gently. “I bet you’d like Gloria,” 

“No, I think i’m content,” 

“Whatever you want kitten,” David said. “That’s what you’ll get,” 

His fingers traced over any skin or into any hair that he could. They went down to her jaw and gently lifted her chin. He pressed a kiss against her lips. 

“I want to kiss her,” Paul huffed, pushing up against David’s stomach to climb to her face.

David grunted in annoyance but held his tongue from shouting at the vamponeside golden retriever. He just watched as he sloppily devoured her lips. 

She was never going to be alone like that again. He wouldn’t allow it. 

[whenikissedthegiyuu]

three - screaming crying throwing up

sakusa kiyoomi x reader

masterlist

I lifted my eyes from my phone to glance in Sakusa’s direction, only to find him already staring at me. His eyes widened the slightest bit and his back straightened, but he never looked away from me.

Suna cleared his throat, whether it was on purpose to attract the others’ attention or not I didn’t know, but it still made me internally wince.

“Oi,” Suna wrapped an arm around my neck, nearly pulling me into a chokehold as he pulled me to his chest. “Remember when everyone thought you and ‘tsumu were dating?”

Sakusa’s eyes snapped to the brunet as soon as he spoke, his face remaining neutral as he listened to our conversation.

“Just because I wore his spare jersey to one game because I spilled my juice on my shirt.” I rolled my eyes and smiled fondly at the memory. Atsumu laughed from across the room.

“I did think you were dating when I saw you together at my first nationals.” Hinata chuckled from where he sat on the floor beside Atsumu’s legs. “I know you grew up with the twins, but your dynamic with Atsumu was different from Osamu.”

It was. It really was.

Osamu had always been like an older brother, we fought sometimes over the smallest disagreements and were both stubborn as hell, but the moment I needed him he was there to grab my hand and comfort me, and I was the same way with him.

Atsumu on the other hand… I couldn’t even remember when I started seeing him with different eyes. One day his playful winks started making my stomach flutter and my breath stutter. I found myself gravitating more toward him, our fingers were always laced together when we walked side by side. Our mothers teased us and insisted they were waiting for the day we finally admitted to them that we were together. We would only look away pretending like we weren’t both sporting flushed cheeks.

But as suddenly as it started, it came crashing down. We started our third year and Atsumu’s eyes started drifting toward the pretty new girl with unique red hair and beautiful green eyes. They were in a different class than Osamu and I, so they eventually started talking and became good friends. They didn’t actually make it official until after we graduated, but with their flirting and how attached to the hip they were, making it official was just a formality at that point. Anyone could see it in their eyes that they were head over heels in love.

Osamu and Aran held me tightly so many nights as I cried uncontrollably. I wanted to blame her, to be mad at her for stealing him away, but it wasn’t her fault– none of it. It wasn’t Atsumu’s fault either, one can’t really choose how or who to fall in love with. He didn’t even know how I truly felt about him at the time.

And then I did what I always do best, ran away to Tokyo for university instead of staying back home with my friends, never looking back. Many times I cried on phone calls with Osamu and Suna about feeling homesick and wanting to be surrounded by my friends and family once again, but going home and seeing them would hurt even more.

Obviously it has now been years and we are all mature adults. Atsumu is once again simply my best friend whose playful winks are received by a roll of my eyes and his smirks are met by a slap on the back of his head. Kairi became a good friend throughout the years and if Atsumu was going to spend the rest of his life with anyone, I was glad it would be her.

I leaned my head against Suna’s shoulder after adjusting my position against him. I laughed at Hinata’s comment, “Nah ‘tsumu and I have always been too similar, we woulda bitten each other’s heads off at some point. Truly can’t understand how ‘samu stands us.”

I closed my eyes, feeling Suna’s chest vibrating against my arm as he chuckled. I tapped his shoulder, murmuring that I was gonna get a refill. He raised his arm just enough to let me slip out. I tried to ignore the pair of dark eyes that followed my every move as I slowly walked toward the kitchen.

It was open spaced so the guys could see me from where they were still sitting and laughing together, but it was enough to grant me at least an illusion of privacy since they were too engulfed in whatever story Bokutou was telling about college shenanigans he got himself into with Kuroo, many of which I was actually witness to.

I turned my back on the group and placed my hands on the counter as I felt my pulse start to race. Not here, not in front of them. I took deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling softly to calm myself down until my heartbeat evened out and the corners of my eyes stopped prickling with the threat of tears.

Footsteps reached my ears, as if they were intentionally heavy to alert me. I turned my head just enough to catch Sakusa’s huge form stopping just a few feet away from me. His eyes scanned my face, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded once, already feeling the tears beginning to form again at that simple question. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and turned my face away from his curious eyes.

He took another step forward and leaned his back against the counter I had my hands placed on. I could feel his eyes on me, but I just stared at the counter.

“I’m going to let you think that I believe you,” He murmured. I appreciated the low tone, not wanting the guys to listen to our conversation. “But you shouldn’t bottle everything up.”

“There ain’t nothing to bottle up.” I replied sharply, regretting my tone as soon as I caught his slight flinch. I let out a deep sigh, “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He shook his head, dismissing my apology. “Does that,” He gestured toward my face. “Have anything to do with what you were all talking about before you left?”

I grabbed the edge of the counter, controlling the urge to move just a tiny bit closer to the raven haired man as his cologne reached my nostrils. I shrugged, not really giving him any response.

“I didn’t really know you back then, but I had seen you around enough to know that you were too good for Miya anyways.”

I looked up at him then. He was already staring down at me, his mask tucked under his chin allowing me to see his lips curled down into a frown. His cheeks were sporting a pink tint, probably due to the couple of drinks he had earlier.

“Gonna get some fresh air.” I gestured toward the balcony outside. “You’re welcome to join if ya wanna take a break from the guys, but I get it if ya wanna go back to Komori. Feels like ’m keeping ya from him.”

He glanced behind me for a second before turning back to me. “I’ll go with you. It feels… uh, stuffy in here.”

being single was not exactly a choice on her part, it was more of a consequence of her demanding job as one of the best wedding planners in tokyo. her parents asked constantly if she was at least speaking with anyone romantically and when she would give them grandchildren. they pressured her to the point that she lied to them about having a boyfriend so they would leave her alone, only for them to say they want to meet him at her best friend’s wedding. time to come clean! or… find a fake boyfriend to keep her parents happy?

if you noticed that some characters’ pics changed, no you didn’t :)

for some reason my app erased all the profiles and i had to redo them

taglist (fill out this form to be tagged!)

@still-fking-single @chocoluxbaby @kittycasie @mindblownjun @yuminako @coconut-dreamz @lilith412426 @theidontknowmehn @miycutie @universal-s1ut @kellesvt @riiceandsoup @yuptha-tsme @moonlit-mizukage @matsunshine @sodapop606 @tinnierat @imnotgoodwithnamessoidk

[dystopicjumpsuit]

I Wish All Readers a Very Hunter Life Day

A/N: This is a gift for @captainpains for the @cloneficgiftexchange Life Day Exchange. Prompt (will be in BOLD RED): "I know I love you and all, but you are really making this really hard for me!"

Pairing: Hunter x Reader (Fem; has hair)

Rating: M (minors DNI)

Wordcount: 2K

Warnings and tags: a minor guilt trip; light Life Day angst with a happy ending; Hunter is in his fratboy era; SMUT; hair pulling; oral sex; rough sex; biting; marking; dirty talk; praise kink; glove kink; armor kink; protected PIV (Reader is on space birth control/STI protection); strong language; fluff

Summary: Hunter may be a bit of a Life Day Grinch, but that doesn’t stop him from distracting you when the war threatens to keep you from spending Life Day with your family.

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Hunter didn’t mean to eavesdrop. If anything, you dropped the eave on him. He stalked toward the Marauder, supplies in tow after a successful run to the open-air market on this Maker-forsaken backwater of a planet. As he approached the ship, his enhanced senses meant he couldn’t help overhearing your low, strained voice—or the fact that you were definitely crying.

“I wish I could be there, but there’s just no way,” you said.

“I just don’t want you to miss your nephew’s first Life Day, sweetie.” 

The woman’s voice was unfamiliar, and Hunter slowed down, analyzing the situation.

“I know, Mom…” you sniffled a little bit. “I love you, but you are making this really hard for me. It’s not like I asked to be deployed to an active war zone.”

Hunter stopped in his tracks, frowning. He knew Life Day was coming up, but to be honest, he hadn’t thought much about it. It had always seemed more like a holiday for nat-borns, though he knew some of the regs had started to join in the celebrations since the war had broken out and they’d begun to interact with beings from other cultures.

It all seemed a bit excessive, if he was honest. A whole festival, just to celebrate family? He spent all his time with his brothers. He didn’t need to binge-watch Holomark Life Day flicks and decorate a kriffin’ tree, too—no matter how many times Wrecker asked. 

But still. You were a nat-born, and for the first time, it occurred to him just how much of a strain it must be on you to be plunged into the chaos and peril of the battlefield without even having the comfort of your family close by. You’d never mentioned it, and he had never wondered why until now.

He walked up the ramp of the Marauder, stomping a little harder than necessary to give you ample warning that he was back, and he heard you hurriedly end the comm just before he entered the ship.

“Hey,” you said with a forced smile. “Supply run go okay?”

“Mm-hmm,” he grunted, dropping the crate and kicking off the lid.

“Where’s the rest of the squad?”

“Still out,” he replied, moving closer to you and raising his hand to your chin, tilting your face so he could inspect it. “You’ve been cryin’.”

Your eyes widened, and you pulled away. “No, I haven’t.”

He let you go, ignoring your blatant lie. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Nothing to talk about,” you replied, dumping out the crate and beginning to stash the supplies in a cabinet.

He watched you silently for a moment, then crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, his gaze fixed on your face. “Wanna forget about it?”

You huffed an impatient laugh through your nose as you continued your work. “Why? Did you buy some kyrf while you were at the market?”

Hunter grimaced at your jab, remembering the particularly horrific after-effects of too many shots of kyrf liquor the last time the squad went to 79’s on shore leave. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind.”

“What, then?” You tossed the last of the supplies into the cabinet, then slammed the door and turned to him.

His dark eyes dropped to your lips. “I could distract you.”

You stared back at him in silence for a long beat. You couldn’t possibly have heard him right.

“What?” you asked blankly. 

He smirked—damn his stupid, handsome face—and leaned closer to you. You resisted the urge to swallow when he did, knowing he’d hear you. Instead, you put on your grumpiest expression and deflected like a champ.

“I’m not playing sabacc with you again,” you said with a scowl. “You cheat.”

“I just notice your tells. That's not cheating.”

“It is when you have enhanced senses,” you retorted.

“Not like I can turn ‘em off,” he pointed out. “For example, right now, you have a tell.”

You raised your eyebrows but didn’t respond. He reached out and trailed his fingertips up the inside of your wrist, leaning close enough to whisper in your ear.

“Your heart is racing, little one.”

You yanked your wrist away from him. “That’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking.” His gaze filled with an intense heat as he stared into your eyes. His face was close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from his skin. “The others won’t be back for hours. It’s your call. Tell me to piss off, and I’ll go for a run and never touch you again. Or…”

Your heart hammered in your chest, and you just knew the cocky son of a tube could hear it. Your voice sounded embarrassingly breathless as you echoed, “Or…”

“... or, you could let me take your mind off things.”

You forced yourself to breathe at a normal pace—maybe even too normal; who karking knew? Hunter, that’s who, you thought bitterly. He probably has the whole damned squad’s breathing patterns memorized. You considered his offer, not that it was easy to make a rational decision when he was standing so close to you, smelling goddamned delicious and looking even better. 

Gods, his mouth is just. Right. There.

When you didn’t reply after a few moments, he asked, “I think we’ve been dancing around this long enough, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I guess we have.”

Duraplast armor made a surprisingly good handle as you grabbed him and pulled him against yourself. Your lips crashed together. His hands cupped your face and his fingers tangled in your hair as teeth and tongues clashed, your bodies coming together in a desperate, frantic embrace. Your hands scrambled and roamed over his armor as you searched for access that you simply couldn’t find.

You growled with frustration, and Hunter laughed quietly as he kissed his way across your jaw and down your throat. “Why the hurry, pretty girl? We’ve got time.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you hadn’t gotten laid in as many months as me,” you muttered, fumbling at his crotchplate. “How the kriff does this thing work?!”

A telltale zipping sound alerted you to the fact that Hunter was having significantly more success in getting you out of your flightsuit. He tugged it down your shoulders and let it drop down your body, following its progress with his mouth. He reached your compression bra and yanked it off over your head. You had no idea where it landed as he flung it across the ship, but you hoped it wouldn’t be too hard to locate it later.

That’d be fun to explain to Crosshair, you thought with a slightly horrified shudder.

Any concerns you had about your missing undergarment fled your mind about half a second later. Hunter’s lips closed around your nipple, swirling his tongue as he squeezed and teased your other breast, the rough fabric of his glove providing a shockingly pleasurable abrasion. Your head fell backward to rest against the durasteel wall, a hoarse moan tearing from your throat.

Hunter responded immediately, scraping his teeth across your skin, then smoothing his warm tongue over the bite mark. You shivered at the sensation, and he dropped abruptly to his knees, gripping your ass in both hands as he pulled you hard against his face. His tongue slid into you as his lips pressed over your cunt.

“Oh, fuck,” he murmured. “You’re delicious. And wet, holy kriff. So, so wet—”

Your legs nearly gave out, and you clutched his head for balance.

“Goddamn,” he hissed as your fingers tangled in his hair. “Pull it harder.”

You complied, tugging his hair firmly, and his eyes drifted blissfully closed as he leaned close and breathed in your scent. He flicked his tongue over your clit and back into you again and again, alternating between kissing and licking and sucking on your sensitive skin until your legs trembled. Distantly, you heard a clatter of plastoid on durasteel, and then he stood, spinning you around and pushing you forward to lean against the wall of the ship as he gripped your hips and pressed his knee between your thighs, urging them apart.

“Implant?” he asked hoarsely.

“Y—yes,” you confirmed, forcing your brain to focus on the question.

You felt his cock nudge between your thighs, and then he thrust into you, barely giving you time to adjust. His cuisses were cold as they pressed against your thighs, hard against your soft skin, and his hand snaked around your body to cup your breast as he pulled you upright and backward onto his chest. He held you upright as he thrust into you, and with his other hand, he slid his fingers over your cunt, massaging your clit and pressing against your mound firmly. He was still wearing his gloves, and the fabric felt unbelievable on your skin.

“You like it rough, don’t you, pretty girl?” he growled in your ear. “You like it when I use that perfect little pussy, don’t you, sweet thing?”

“Yes,” you gasped, your breath punching out of your lungs as he thrust particularly hard into you. “Fuck, yes—”

He sank his teeth into your shoulder abruptly, and your words cut off in a scream. He began to work his fingertips in tight, rapid circles over your clit as he kissed over your sore, abused skin. That’s definitely leaving a mark, you thought distantly, as a rush of fresh arousal flooded you.

“That’s right,” he murmured smoothly. “Just like that, good girl. Sweet little doll, taking my cock so well. Gonna come for me?”

“Uh-huh,” you groaned, feeling all the muscles in your center begin to tense.

“Use your words, little one,” he whispered, his breath teasing your neck and ear as his teeth closed softly on your earlobe.

“I am—I’m—FUCK!” You cried out loudly as your orgasm tore through you, pleasure exploding from the base of your spine and bursting through your body.

“That’s it, love,” he said, speeding up his pace. “Feels so good—so fuckin’ perfect, such a good girl—where do you want it, darlin’?”

“Inside,” you gasped.

“You sure?” he asked, his hips stuttering slightly as his hand suddenly clenched harder around your breast.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “Fill me up.”

“Fu—ah, kriff!” he grunted, thrusting hard, and you felt heat flood your cunt as he spilled into you. 

He pressed his hot, open mouth against your neck, sucking hard on your skin as he groaned loudly, clutching you hard against his rigid armor in an almost painfully tight embrace. Slowly, he loosened his grip, reaching out to lean his forearm against the wall in front of you for support.

“You all right?” he panted, kissing your head gently.

“Yeah,” you replied. 

“Armor didn’t hurt?”

“No, it was actually kind of hot,” you replied. “I can’t lie, I was kind of hoping to see how far down your tattoo goes, though.”

He laughed quietly into your hair. “Who said we’re finished? I told you the squad wouldn’t be back for hours.”

Two weeks later, the Marauder lurched and dropped out of hyperspace. You glanced up from your datapad, curious.

“Are we back to Coruscant already? I thought we wouldn’t arrive until tomorrow.”

“We require an emergency stop for repairs,” Tech replied.

You looked out the viewport and gasped as you recognized a familiar sight. “Tech, this is my home planet!”

“That so?” A quiet, smoky voice sounded from close behind you. You turned to see Hunter leaning against the cockpit doorway, an inscrutable expression on his face.

“Unfortunately, it appears that every part supply shop in the system is closed to observe the final rotation of the Life Day celebration,” Tech said. 

“Shame,” Hunter remarked. “Guess we’ll have to stick around at least until tomorrow.”

You stared at Hunter, and then at Tech, and finally out the viewport at the swirling atmosphere of your homeworld.

“Don’t suppose you know anywhere worth visiting in this system,” Wrecker said with a twinkle in his good eye as he joined you in the cockpit.

Your eyes stung with unexpected tears that you ruthlessly blinked back as you turned to look at your squad, who watched you with varying degrees of interest. Your heart squeezed.

“Yeah,” you replied at last. “How would you boys like to meet my other family?”

---

Want more Hunter x Reader? Check out this fluffy, slightly sexy first kiss ficlet.

[tinytinyblogs]

Skz Soft Hours: Seungmin

He is deeply in love with you and his only wish is to spend the rest of his life with you.

Stray kids masterlist here

Seungmin's voice danced on your ears as he said, "I love you so much, you know that, right?" His voice was like silk, the most beautiful sound you had ever heard. It made your heart race every time. "I will always love you, Y/N," he continued, his voice filled with emotion. It was clear that he had thought long and hard about what he wanted to say. Seungmin wasn't the type of person to be overly vocal about his feelings, but his actions spoke louder than words. He always went out of his way to make you happy, and he was always there for you when you needed him. He was filled with worries, deep in his heart. He wanted to share them with you, the only person in the world he felt comfortable with and believed in.

"Sometimes I wonder if I make you happy enough," he said, his voice trailing off. "I want to be the one you always need in your life, but I'm not perfect." He paused, fiddling with your fingers as he tried to find the right words. Seungmin is so proud to have you in his life. He feels like he has found a precious gem, and he can't even explain how happy he is every day. "I've never said this before, but I'm so happy to have you in my life, Y/N," he says. The moment he laid his eyes on you, the world stopped. He didn't even care about the rain falling around him, even though he should have been running to avoid it. He doesn't want to be overdramatic, but you make him feel things he never knew he could feel. He never thought it possible for his heart to melt the way it does when he's with you.

"I can't imagine my life without you," he continues. "You're the main reason I keep going and keep being happy." You make him fall harder for you every day, and he doesn't know what else to say. You're just too perfect for him. You showed him the world through your eyes, and it was beautiful. He used to think he was better off alone, wandering aimlessly without direction. But you showed him the way, a path of flowers that he now walks with you by his side. You turned his darkness into sunshine, pulled him out of the depths of despair, and loved him unconditionally.

"Sometimes I feel so insecure," he says. "I think I'm not good enough for someone like you. I want to be the best for you. And I'm so mad at myself for not telling you how much I love you, when you deserve so much more." Seungmin is not good at romance. He can't even express his own feelings, so when you're around, he feels lost. "Even when I don't understand myself, you always do. You love me unconditionally, and you accept me for who I am, flaws and all. I love you so much for that." He's learning about romance little by little, like he's studying for an exam. He's trying to learn everything about you: what you love, hate, and want.

He's even trying to like the things you like, even if they're not his cup of tea, just so he can have conversations with you and keep you interested. He panics when he sees you cry, and he'll try to make jokes, even if they're not funny. But when you laugh, he feels relieved. He told his mom that he met someone perfect for him, and he bragged about you to his whole family. He told them that having you in his life makes him happier than anything else. "I've been thinking a lot about the future lately," Seungmin said, catching himself staring at you again.

He had always loved watching you, but lately, it had been different. He loved the way you were around him, breathing the same air, sharing the same space, doing the things you both loved. It made him wonder what it would be like if you were in his future, growing old with him. "And seeing you smile so beautifully every day, hearing you talk, feeling your warmth... it made me realize." If Seungmin could hold your hand through everything life throws his way, he would never be afraid of the future. You make him stronger than he ever thought possible.

He says, "I want you. I want us to be together until the end of time." He smiles as he says these sweet words, and the thought of you two having the happy ending you both dream of makes his heart soar. He prays for you every day, because you are his whole world. He never wants to lose you, because losing you would be like losing the game of life. Seungmin is building a castle for you and him, a place where you can be safe from anything in the world that doesn't deserve you. He would do anything for you.

"Have you thought about that?" he asks, placing a kiss on your soft lips. His words are sincere, coming from the depths of his heart. He is asking you to be a part of his life officially. "Don't you feel the same way?" Nothing in the world mattered more to Seungmin than you. He couldn't stop thinking about you. You were one of a kind, and he wanted you more and more each day. His eyes filled with tears as he spoke to you in a soft monologue that you never expected to hear. "If you feel the same way," he said, "I promise to make you the happiest person in the world."

Just as Seungmin is the one you've always wished for, you feel just as lucky to have him in your life. His care, love, words, and touch color your world in ways he never imagined. In his arms, you feel safe, warm, and happy. He gives you the kind of happiness that you deserve, and that no one else can give you. "If you feel the same way, let's build our family together," he says. "Let's get married and grow old together." There is no other answer you can give, no other choice you would make. Living with him forever is the best thing that could ever happen to you.

💬I'm just sweating through my eyes, okay?

[alessiathepirate]

Far Cry 5

SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL: John Seed x fem!reader

Summary: She wasn't blind. She really wasn't. She just chose to love all of him.

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I may have made while I wrote this short story.

Warnings: mentioned and/or referenced torture and/or abuse, religious references (come on, it's the Seed family), swearing, reader isn't the Deputy

•••

"Fucking Hell!" Mary May looked at her in surprise, both shock and betrayal clearly seen on her face. "You love him..."

After her words, the whole Spread Eagel turned quiet. Pastor Jerome looked away and Nick seemed more than upset.

She felt her cheeks burn red, but not from shame - never from shame. It burned, because it was true.

"Holy shit..." Mary May cursed again, still in disbelief. "No shit you can't see how crazy that whole family is! You don't want to see it!"

"I--" she began, but shut her mouth instead when she realized she has no idea what she should say.

"John Seed is fucking hurting people!" Mary May continued. "And you decided to just- I don't know-- love him?"

"Please, he's not that--"

"Not that bad? That's what you wanted to say?" Mary May pulled her shirt down to show her the scars what stayed behind after that quick tattoo removal. "Does this seem not that bad to you?"

She looked at the scars, then back at Mary May. She let go of her shirt, then pointed toward the door.

"You should leave..."

"Mary M--"

"Get out!"

So she left.

She left so she could continue to love John with all his flaws.

•••

As John wrapped a fluffy blue towel around her body after they finished their shared bath, she wondered how people could think of him as evil.

Sure, she knew John wasn't purely good - she could see the flaws, but then again is anyone out there perfect? She herself wasn't perfection, yet John chose to love her anyway.

She wasn't blind, she saw the issues he had - but she could also see the things others couldn't. Because John didn't want them to see those. But he allowed her to see all of him.

How could he be pure evil, when he was capable of loving her so gently, so honestly? When he was capable of touching her so softly as if she was made from the thinnest glass? When he liked to hum those old songs, when deep down he was so full of joy and love to give?

"You're being quiet." John suddenly stated as he stroked her wet hair. "What's going on in your head, sweetheart?"

A lot. A whole lot.

"Mary May..." she confessed with a shy, sad smile. "I know it shouldn't upset me, but she was my friend and I--"

John shut her up with a kiss so soft, she felt dizzy.

"She and all the others in Fall's End are blind. They know nothing, they see nothing. You can't do anything about it, so don't let it bother you; alright?"

She just nodded and pressed a kiss to his chest, right above his 'sloth' tattoo. By then she knew all of tattoos by heart. She'd trace them and kiss each of them - yet her favourite was the one that said 'yes'. It sat right above his stomach and each night when she rested her head on his chest, she'd follow the dark lines with her fingertips.

"I love you, John."

He liked to hear it a lot. He had to hear it a lot so he would believe that someone was capable of loving him. And she loved saying it, no matter the time or place.

"I love you too, sweetheart. More than anything." he kissed her forehead, a sign of affection he picked up from his brother, and gently stroked her cheek. "Now let's get you into some comfortable clothes, okay?"

She smiled up at him. "Can I wear your shirt?"

"Of course you can."

She knew John loved to see her in them - in his shirts, in his coat. It gave him a sense of belonging. That act alone made everyone know that he was hers and she was his.

John turned to grab a clean shirt and she followed his movements. Then her gaze was on his back, and her smile turned into a frown.

The scars were there, proving that the wounds he had recieved when he was young, once existed. She hated them - not because they were ugly, but because ugly and deformed people gave him those.

Fall's End wanted to talk about bad people? They should've started with the monsters who gave John those scars.

She stepped toward him, hugging him from behind and pressed a kiss to his spine. She felt him freeze from both shock and surprise. To John her touching those scars, that ugliness, was more intimate then anything they did - more intimate than confessing their love, than kissing, than making love... It meant she truly accepted all of him and loved him anyway.

"I never want to leave you, John."

His answer was a kiss so full of adoration and passion, she forgot how to breath. Her legs felt weak, while the butterflies in her stomach went insane. John wanted to hold every single part of her, and she didn't mind at all - because it just proved he'd never want to leave her either.

And later, when they were in bed, curled into one another, she knew that no matter what others said, how they tried to point out John's or her imperfections - to each other they were perfect.

[cinnamon-piastri]

Ok another request this time Daniel with (it’s okay to cry)

Also I loved the Alex Albon fic ❤️

Hello! Sorry this has taken a little while lovely but I'm so glad you liked the last one! ❤️ I've decided to incorporate this one with the F1 Christmas theme I'm going for so if you want it again but normal just let me know ☺️

You'll never be alone | Daniel Ricciardo

Danny ric x reader

Warnings: None ❤️

Summary: For the first time you're not going to make it home for the holidays but thankfully you have Daniel by your side

Daniel entered the living room of your apartment with a huge grin upon his face. He gazed at the winter wonderland you had both been working on all day for your first Christmas together, as he saw your figure sat under the soft glow of the tree lights he noticed a quiet sadness in your eyes.

"Baby? What's wrong?" Danny asked you concerned as he noticed you looking down at your phone. He approached you with a gentle hand on your shoulder and a soft reassuring smile.

You looked up at him with tears in your eyes as you shared the weight in your heart. "I'm so sorry babe I just miss my family most during the holidays, it's the first year I won't be able to make it home and it brings back all the memories"

Daniel understood the depth of your emotions more than anyone, thinking back to the year he wasn't allowed to fly back home to his family. You were his saviour through that dark period and he was there to return the favour.

Daniel pulled you into his comforting embrace. "It's okay to cry. But I'm here for you, Christmas is about being with the ones you love and we can create our own memories"

You hugged him tightly as he soothed you, before carrying you into your shared bedroom. "Now you need a nice long bath while I go get you a surprise, don't come out until I get you okay?" He asked before putting you down and placing a kiss on your nose.

"okay baby I love you" you said giving him a quick peck before heading off to your ensuite to run yourself a bath, you slowly climbed in feeling the warmth of the water relax your muscles.

Some time later you had gotten out and was now sat down drying your hair as you saw Daniel enter the room with a huge grin on his face. "Okay it's ready!" He said with an excited chuckle.

You couldn't help but giggle. "Danny what have you been doing for the past hour?" You asked him curiously, wondering what the heck he's been up to.

"Oh you're about to find out" he said as he helped you stand up. "but you've got to close your eyes i want it to be a surprise" he instructed as he held his hands over your eyes and guided you to the living room"

"okay babe" you said with a chuckle as he walked you to the center of the room before lifting his hands away. "Okay open em!" He said really excited as he watched you slowly open your eyes and gaze around the room. Which was now adorned with lots of decorations, the table full of familiar snacks and your favourite Christmas song on the radio.

"Oh Danny, this is amazing" you said with tears in your eyes as you turned to face him. He still had a huge grin on his face "I changed the lights on the tree to those warm white ones you always talked about, but I left the star off cause that was always your job at home, although I'll have to lift you up so you can put it on" he teased with a laugh as he pulled you in for a tight hug.

"I got all your favourite snacks too so we can have them while we watch a Christmas film and bake cookies. I was going to surprise you with all this on Christmas eve but I figured you needed it now. I hope you like it" he said as he planted a soft kiss to your forehead before smiling hopefully at you.

"I love it baby thank you so much, this is the best Christmas present I've ever had" you said with a big smile as you peppered kisses all over his face, hugging him tightly.

He hugged you tighter bringing your head to rest on his chest as he whispered in your ear "you're not alone love you'll never be. old traditions or new ones, we can do them both together and I'm grateful to make new memories with you"

And that's just what you both did, having the best Christmas you've ever had.

[actual-greenninja]

I DONT WANT TO HURT YOU GUYS THE SAME WAY HE HURT ME

Genya x fem reader (angst to fluff, modern au)

**cw: yelling, arguing, harsh treatment (he apologizes) swearing, mentions of abuse, comfort**

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Synopsis

After 4 years of dating the two of you get married and start a family together consisting of 2 four year old boys and 1 two year old girl. The little family you guys started together mean the world to Genya, and he wouldn't want to do anything to harm you guys, especially in the same way his father harmed him and his mother and siblings.Recently he has been working later than usual and his boss and co workers are driving him insane with their constant demands of him. Today he arrives home at 8 at night extremely angry. He has an out burst at you and the two of you get into a fight which lead to him grabbing your fore arm and handling you harshly while yelling at you. You're 2 Sons come running in, yelling, begging him to stop, he then realised what he was doing and now he can't even look at you or his son's the same.

★Author's note: this is my first ever fic, im purely writing this to get it out of my head, sorry if my English isn't great, it is my first language im just not any good lol. Sorry if I didn't really write Genya well, it's my first time writing him. I love arguement angsty fics and I love my boy Genya. Not proof read sorry

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He didn't mean it, he swears he didn't mean it.

He didn't mean to make you cry,he didn't mean to make his son's cry, he wants to blame it on his childhood, watching his father beat up his mother and siblings almost every day must of made him think his actions were okay in the moment, but he knew that there was no excuse. He hurt you.

Things at home recently haven't been the best in terms of the relationship between you and your adoring husband, Genya Shinazugawa. The man who you have been in love with for almost 8 years now. The man you dated throughout your college years. The man who you said yes to, tears streaming down your eyes without a second thought when he proposed to you the night he took you out to the prettiest resort you had ever seen, the man who helped you and cared for you while you were pregnant with his twin boys and later his beautiful baby girl. The man who swore to make you and your children the happiest he could.

For the past two weeks you could tell that things at work haven't been going too well for Genya. He often woke up extra early, leaving you alone in bed and leaving almost immediately for work. Some mornings he won't even shyly kiss you on the forehead goodbye like he usually does, he just gets dressed and leaves you at home to take care of your loud 4 year olds and crying 2 year old. The day would go on as it usually does except now Genya gets home later than usual, sometimes it would already be dark long before he arrives home only to tiredly greet you, quickly eat the dinner you kept for him, sit with your children if they weren't already asleep and then go to bed a bit upset. It hurt you to see him upset all the time when you did get to see him, noticing how he isn't nearly as affectionate with you as he use to be. What hurt more was that your son's were starting to realize that their father didn't have time to them, making them feel like they weren't important to him, which was furthest from the truth. Today wasn't any different.

"Mommy... Psst! Mommy, wake up!"

You're eyes started to flutter tiredly, a heavy weight causing pain to your stomach. When you finally gain consciousness you find one of you twin sons sitting on your stomach with you in bed. You say tiredly "Hey, baby, what are you doing up this early?" He smiles at you with a toothy grin, showing of his little gapped teeth. "I dunno, I jus' wanna sleep with you, mommy!" You smile softly at how cute he is. You rest your hand on his cheek, his purple eyes resembling his father's shining bright at you. "Alright then, but first, where's your brother? Is he up aswell" you ask with a tired smile, a little worried that his brother may be catching up to something. Just before your question can be answered you here loud crying that came from the nursery. Your daughter must have woken up. Suddenly the cries grow closer and closer to your bedroom and before you know it your other son is running into the room with his little sister in his arms, clearly struggling to carry her weight with his small arms. He yells, panicked "Mommy! Mommy! Sissy won't stop crying! I just came to her cot and she started crying when she saw me!!" He now had tears in his own eyes, the thought of him making his beloved sister cry makes him feel terrible. You jump out of bed and take her out of your son's arms. You kiss him on the forehead before trying to calm down your daughter "Don't worry, bub. She was just crying because she missed you so much! Thank you for bringing her to me but next time just call me, alright?" You say, calming your son down. He sniffles "okay mommy, I will" he says with a faint smile.

After calming all your children down you take them to the kitchen and make your children each bowls of soft porridge for them to eat while on the couch where all four of you watched "The Goofy Movie" for the hundredth time in a row. You all sat peacefully watching, your daughter in your lap and your son's each leaning on one of your sides. The scene came on where Goofy and his son, Max are in their car on a road trip. You watched, a little bored as you practically memorised the whole script by now. That is until one of your son's tug on your pajama shirt.

He looks up at you with his sad purple eyes. You look at him, confused

"Hey, bub. What's with the face, don't you like the movie? Or is your porridge tasting weird?" You ask, trying to mask your worry. He shakes his head and speaks with a sad tone "Mommy, why doesn't Daddy love us like Goofy and Max?" With that your heart absolutely shatters. There's no way he thinks his father doesn't love him!? You rub his head with your thumb. Before you say anything your other son chimes in, sounding more upset "Yeah! Why doesn't Daddy love us anymore!? Does he not like us..?" You are now feeling frantic. Where is all this coming from? How long have they thought this!? You finally speak up, trying to hide your tears from escaping your eyes, you were feeling way too hurt by their words. "Guys, Daddy loves you! He loves you all so so much... He loves you and will never stop loving you... Why do you think he doesn't..?" You ask with worry, holding your children closer to you. One of your son's says in a sad tone, "But, Daddy doesn't play with us anymore... Daddy is never here with us..." He says, tears in his eyes. "Yeah! He doesn't play with us anymore. He leaves us all the time. He leaves mommy all the time too!" Your other son yells, feeling more upset and hurt by the realisation. Your heart is torn to shreds and you don't know what to feel. Sad that they think this, angry at your husband for not spending enough time with his family,or angry at yourself for not realizing these things sooner. You speak up with pain in your voice "No, no, no Daddy loves you guys, he loves all of us, he's just been busy with work!" You try reassuring them but you can see the four year olds aren't convinced with such an explanation. You sigh and say calmly "Ok guys, why don't we go out for ice cream and later when Daddy is home later, I'll talk to him about playing with you guys more.. how does that sound?" You ask with a weak smile, hoping that ice cream will make them forget about this whole thing for a while. Your son's eyes light up, as if the whole conversation before never happend "Ice cream! Ice cream" the boys chanted happily, making your daughter giggle in your arms. You smile at their sudden change in mood but you still feel a pool in your stomach.

Why the hell would they think such a terrible thing about their father? It's not their fault at all, but still, how could you let this happen? How could Genya let this happen? You felt anger bubbling in your chest. A mix of anger and sadness. You knew you had to talk to Genya about this, but every night you tried talking to him in the past about spending more time with his family he would just brush you off and tell you that " your being dramatic, im trying but they just won't let me catch a break at work" and end it at that. You weren't gonna let that happen tonight though. You were going to confront Genya about his behaviour and how it has been affecting you and the children.

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The evening started making its way into the sky, the bright blues from earlier fading into a mix of orange and red hues throughout the sky , clouds reappearing and taking form above. You had just finished making dinner for you and your children where they now sat on the floor of their bedroom playing with their toys that you and Genya had gifted them for their birthdays. You were now washing the dishes peacefully by yourself before you heard the door open and be slammed shut. Just by that noise you could tell that Genya just had a bad day at work. Has got to be as every time you texted him before today he wouldn't even read them nor answer them.

Genya huffed as he walked in, immediately taking of his tie and blazer, placing them on the counter. You smile at him softly, drying your hand and making your way to your husband. You kiss him on the cheek and smile up at him, glad that you get to him for the first time today.

"Hey,love, how was work? We missed you!" You say cheerfully. On any other day he would have smiled, kissed you back with a light blush and say that he missed you guys too and call for his boys to run to him and hug them tightly. Today however, he clearly wasn't in the mood, answering you with a grunt and saying in a tired, annoyed voice " Yeah, yeah, missed you too..". It was clear there wasn't any meaning behind his words and that made you feel hurt. Your two sons come running into the kitchen and run into Genya's legs happily. They look up at their father with big toothy smiles. "Daddy! We missed you! Come play with us!" They say excitedly. Genya bends down to hug his boys tiredly. He says in a forced sad tone as he hugged them. "Daddy missed you boys too, sorry guys but daddies tired so he can't play today..."

The two boys let go of their father, the one looking sad while the other looked a little upset. They both nodded and left the room without saying another word. This was the last straw for you, your heart couldn't take it anymore. Genya makes his way to the couch in the living room. He sits down tiredly, his hand in his messy mohawk cut hair, he sighed, he clearly just wanted to fall asleep right there, but you didn't let him. You took a seat next to him, you looked at him with eyes of sadness.

"Genya, love, we need to talk..." You start off, concern painting your voice. He sighs, he sounds very annoyed at your request. He looks at you with a slight glare "Can't it wait til tomorrow, can't 'ya see im not in the mood?" He snarls. You haven't seen Genya talk to you like this ever, he is usually soft with you, if he didn't want to talk he would ask politely if you could keep this for later, not snarl at you like this. You stand your ground though, not wanting to get intimidated by his annoyed state. You speak up firmly "No, we need to talk now. Look at me, it's important." He is upset by your firmness and sits up. He looks at you dead in the eye and says, his voice coated with venom, "I said im not in the mood. If it's about me being at work to much then im not fucking listening,ok?" He says angrily. His attitude towards you was making you more upset aswell. " Well can you blame me for wanting to talk about it!? It isn't good that your not at home anymore, it's affecting you and it's affecting this family!" You say forcefully,you were getting tired of all of this, you knew it wasn't exactly his fault, but right now you didn't care. He looks at you with disbelief,he was angry now, and thanks to him being at work all day,he was too tired to even think straight. He yells at you, his purple eyes piercing into you. "The fuck, you want to tell at me for wanting to provide for our family!? Are you fucking stupid or something!?" He gets up from the couch to stand and look down on you, adrenaline pumping through his veins. "What an ungrateful bitch do you have to be to think this shit!? Especially when I see you aren't doing anything for this damn family!" He yells, anger filling him. He has never yelled like this, he swore that he wouldn't. That night where he was crying into your arms 2 weeks after your wedding night. He cried saying that he never wants to hurt or even yell at you, after what he saw his father do to his mom he was traumatized. His screams still ringing through his ears. You held him closely, telling him that he will never be like his father. He promised you that he will never do anything to harm you, yet here we are.

You two kept yelling at eachother, the screams only growing louder. You scream at him, tears flowing through your eyes at this point. "Atleast our children have someone they can turn to, and doesn't push them away all the fucking time!I Amy not be out earning money but atleast I show my children the love they deserve out of a parent, what have you been doing!?" You didn't mean those things, but at the same time you meant every word. Genya's eyes widen. If you thought he was pissed before, now you've really done it. He made his way to you and grabbed your forearm tightly, making you wince at the pain.You struggle, trying to get him to let you go only for him to grip you tighter.

"TAKE THAT BACK, FUCKING TAKE IT BACK UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT IM GONNA DO TO YOU"

He yells, his head foggy with rage at this point. He never intended to hurt you, but he wanted you to fear him for saying that he doesn't provide his children the love they need, the children he loved with all his heart. He kept swearing, telling you to take it back, but you stayed silent, the pain he was enforcing on your arm being to much. Your eyes had tears streaming down your face and you yelled overs and overs for him to let go. Before the arguement can escalate any further you here a high pitched yell come from the hallway. It was your son, he looked furious yet he had tears streams Ng down his eyes. He was trembling, his little hands balled up into small fists.

"STOP HURTING MOMMY YOU MONSTER!"

he yelled, he ran to Genya's leg and started punching it with all he had, his punches not causing any physical harm to Genya. Genya's eyes widen, his vision finally clearing from all his anger. Genya's eyes are still wide as he takes in the scene he created. His son was trying to beat him off while the woman he loved with all his heart was crying desperately trying to get out of his grasp. He let go of you and your first instinct was to run to your son and hold him to get him to stop. You try to stop your crying as you held him tightly to stop him from trying to fight his father. He finally let his little fist free to hug you tightly, crying into the crook of your neck. All Genya could hear were the sniffles coming from the two of you. He fucked up. He desperately fucked up. After some silence your son spoke up in a broken little voice. He spoke Inbetween cries " S-see. Mommy- I said- I said that - daddy h-hates us!"

Genya's heart shattered. He finally understood what you were so desperately trying to explain to him. His own son, the son who he cried for when him and his brother were born. The boy that he held with his brother every night when he was a baby. The boy who said "daddy" as his first word. The boy who was crying Infront of him, thinking that he, his own father, hated him. Genya started to panic, the scene felt so fimiliar to him, and it made his heart ache. This exact thing happend when he was younger, but he had his siblings to help him through it aswell. Here, his son had no one. Genya then noticed his other son, holding his sister, cowering in the hallway, crying with his confused sister in his hands. It reminded Genya of himself, how he cowered with his siblings while Sanemi tried beating their father off their mother. He was his father in this situation, Genya was acting how his father would and the fact tore him apart. How did he even get here, what was he thinking? He's afraid he wasn't thinking at all, and because of him not thinking he now hurt his family. He hurt you.

Tears were streaming down Genya's face. All he wanted to do was take you all into his embrace, kiss you all on the forehead as he usually does and keep you guys safe from the world, but how can he do that now? He harmed you... If anything, someone should be protecting you all from him. But he loved you guys he loved you guys more than himself. All he could do was stand and watch you guys,crying softly. After some time he finally musters up softly, his voice breaking.

"Im so sorry... Im so so sorry.... I didn't... I-"

He was stuttering, trying to think of the right words. You didn't even pay him a single glance, all your attention on your children crying in your arms. You finally stood up with a weak smile. you held your daughter in your arms and your son held your hand while the other was holding his brothers hand. You said in a strained voice,

"come on guys, Why don't I sleep with you all together in your room?"

Genya's eyes widened at this, he choked out, tears still falling from his eyes. "WAIT! P-please, can we talk..? Please, love, Im sorry.. to all of you" he choked on his sobs, Genya looked pathetic like this. It broke your heart but you knew he deserved this. You gave him one final glance before taking your children to their room. Genya was crying, swearing at himself, how is he such an idiot? What was wrong with him? He didn't want to hurt you guys. He needed to see you, he needed to hold you, he needed to explain to you, but what would he even explain? That he is a complete asshole who doesn't deserve his own family's love? He didn't know

"Fuck... What is wrong with you... Weak piece of shit... You are acting- no, no I can't be... Shit, im acting exactly like him"

All he knew he could do was wait until the children are asleep, then, maybe he could talk to you... Then if you will let him, he can talk to his children too, and apologize for this whole mess. He wanted to tell you guys how much he loved you all, he wanted to hold his sons as he did when they were babies. He wanted his daughter to look up at him with that cute smile of hers. But after all this... He....

He chokes out another sob. He walked himself to your shared bedroom and waited, hoping that you will walk in hold him like you always would.

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The hours go by and before you know it, it's 12 in the morning. You talked with your children, calming them down and put them to sleep.You wanted to go to Genya and forget about this whole thing, just have things go back to normal. But you knew you couldn't... Could you ever after this? You look down at your fore arm, it was red from how Genya handled you. After the children were sound asleep you quietly left the room. You walked to your shared bedroom, you crack the door open to see Genya laying in bed, his back facing the door. He was hunched up in the bed, you could hear the sobs coming from the bed you two shared. He was holding the pillow you slept with, burying his face into it. The whole scene was making you feel sick inside, should you even feel bad? Is it bad that you feel bad for him?

You knocked before letting yourself in. He jumps up to see you, your eyes swollen and your cheeks flushed. He is so happy to see you, yet the tears fall more than before. He wants to get up and hug you but he restrains himself, he knows he doesn't deserve it.

"(y/n)...?" He says quietly. You look at him emotionlessly and take a seat onto the bed next to him. The two of you sit in silence, not knowing what to say. There was so much to say yet you couldn't think of anything, I mean, where do you even start? You finally say quietly. "Do you finally see why I want you to spend more time with us..? The boys... They think you hate us.." you hear another choked sob come out from Genya. His hand in his hair. "IM SORRY" he squeaks out in-between cries "I see what you mean now... I don't know how I haven't realised.." You look at him, your own tears threatening to spill, but you stay strong. You say in a soft voice."Don't cry, do you really think you deserve to?" His eyes widen, he stops his crying immediately, you were right, he didn't deserve to....

"Genya.... Why? Why all of this..? What were you thinking?" You ask him in a cold tone of voice. He can't even look at you. He says quietly, his voice shaking. "I don't know... I have no excuse for this. Things at work have just been frustrating lately and it's been pissing me off.Then I took it out on you-" he nearly starts to cry again but he restrains himself." Im Sorry. I don't deserve the forgiveness of you or our children but im sorry. And please... Tell the boys that I don't hate them, fuck, I love them, I love all three of them, and I love you, more than anything.." He swallows his sobs and looks at your arm, now red and slightly bruised. "Shit... I did that to you..? I hurt you like that." His breathing gets faster. Everything starts to blur, he couldn't handle this,he cried, speaking to himself,

"I promised I'd never be like him... I promised you I'd never be like him... What the fuck, why am I like him, why am I an abusive dick , and to the people I love more than myself" he starts to spiral and it got too much for you. You cup his cheek and make him look up at you, you wipe his tears away and try to reassure him "Genya, what you did today was inexcusable, but Genya,my love, you are nothing like your father." Your own tears started to spill from your eyes, "I know you love us, and I know how much you try just to see us happy. And I know you didn't mean to hurt any of us, your father can't say he did any of these things but you can. Genya please, don't say you're like your father because you aren't. You are kind, and sweet and..-" You are now crying, who were you kidding, you could never bring yourself to be cold to him, he was yours after all, your sweet, sensitive Genya. You hugged him tightly and he cried into your neck. He spoke in between muffled cries.

"I don't want to hurt you guys the same way he hurt me.."

"And you never will.... But please, don't ever do this again, not for me but for our children"

You guys cried some more and you finally talked it out. Genya held your fore arm gently in his hand, he rubbed it in his palm, a look of pain on his face. He kissed it gently and looked up at you "I will never hurt you again... You or our children. I promise, for real this time" You smiled at him and nodded "I know you never will... But... Do they?". You both knew you had to explain this to them, but how do you explain this to 2 four year olds and 1 two year old? Just as you two were contemplating that you heard little pit pat's make their way into your shared bedroom.

It was your two boys , tired eyes looking up to see you with Genya. They looked up at you and made grabby hands, signaling that they want to be with you on the bed. You pulled them up onto the bed instead of cuddling into your lap they went into Genya's. Both of you were shocked, did they really forget already? Your one son who was trying to protect you earlier spoke tiredly, little tear bubbles in his eyes. He held onto Genya tightly. "We missed you Daddy... Can we sleep with you?" The other twin nodded in agreement, too tired to speak. Genya couldn't handle it, a few tears running down his face, a soft smile making its way onto his features. He said quietly "Of course you can... You always can."

You decided to get your daughter who was luckily sound asleep to sleep with you all in the bedroom. You and Genya were so happy,your boys seemed to be better and you two finally made up. Genya held you all close to him. He kissed you all on the forehead as your son's drifted off to sleep. He whispered to you, his voice still slightly shaky. "If you wouldn't mind... Maybe I can call in sick tomorrow and stay here with you guys?" You giggle softly "You don't have to, I can tell all this work is very important to you" he says almost instantly,moving you closer to him, "Not as important as all of you.... You can show me how you take care of these three everyday. And I can help you, I can keep these two little guys entertained and you can get a break." He says with a smile. You kiss him on his jawline, making him blush. "I would like that" you say tiredly. Before you know it you all fall asleep

Yeah, Genya then decided from that day on he will always be there for his family, and nothing will ever come before all of you.

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Im glad this is done, lol, please like this it took a long time~

Leave requests if you want but I have exams right now so I might not get to them lol, if you want! I hope you enjoyed this little fic!

[heeseung-min]

[14:49]

You were running. Fastly without looking back. Your feet been waiting for you to stop because it has been hours you were on the road. But you couldn't. If you want to escape, you shouldn't take a rest.

Since it was night, the sight was so dark. This might be good for you and difficult for him to search you. Slowly, your energy decreasing little by little. You were thirsty and your feet hurting so bad. You were looking for any house to stay for awhile but there's none.

You turned around when you saw a bright light and your eyes squinted at the sight of small truck stopped in front of you.

"Are you lost?"

You didn't know why but you started to cry. The driver became panic and quickly got off the vehicle and went closer to you.

"I- I I just want to help you. I don't mean anything bad."

Probably because it's been a long time since you get to talk with other human beside your crazy boyfriend. He's been keeping you inside his house and never let you out.

"Please, please help me."

_____

"Can't find her?"

"No, she really got away this time."

Heeseung stared at his friend, Jake who was holding a necklace that he believed was yours. You ran away again and this time you succeed. Jake had called his friends to search for you but all of them said the same thing.

He waited for Jake to say something. He didn't see any tension showing on his expression.

"Let's stop." Jake calmly said made his friends turned confuse.

"You mean stop searching her?" This time Jay asked him carefully since all of them can't believe what they just heard.

"Yeah."

"Why though? Don't you think she will be at the police station at this point?"

"You think she can do that? She is smart. She won't make a report because she knew how strong my influence is."

"So, you are letting her go?"

"Pftt, obviously no. Let just say I give her some time to be free before she need to come back to me."

______

"Yeonjun, don't be mean to Y/n."

"I- mom! At this point, people gonna say Y/n is your real child and I'm not."

Y/n stuck out her tongue to tease Yeonjun more before laughing together with the old lady beside you. It's been two months now since you came into the family.

The day Yeonjun brought you together that night, you finally found the warm and comfort you have been looking for. His mother taking care of you until you finally be able to talk without being scared.

You suddenly felt dizzy and something built up in your throat begging for release. Quickly, you ran to the sink and threw up everything. Yeonjun and his mom followed behind with worried on their face. Yeonjun caressed your back while holding your hair so it will not get dirty. When you done, he helped you rinse your mouth and gave you a glass of water to drink.

"Are you alright, honey?"

"Yeah, mom. I'm just a lil bit dizzy."

"You should go rest. Yeonjun can help me prepare for dinner."

You wanted to refuse but knowing both of them are stubborn, you just agreed to it. You didn't think of anything else and just sleep on your bed.

"Are you sure you are okay, Y/n?"

Yeonjun asked as he waited beside you to finish throwing up. This has been continue for two weeks now. You will either throw up or feel dizzy or even have mood swing. Yeonjun noticed too that you have been eating a lot than before.

"I...I'm sure."

"How about this, we go to check up in case there is something serious happen."

"No, yeonjun. I'm okay. It's probably because I have indigestion."

"No. it has been two weeks right now. Let just go. Nothing bad can happen, y/n. I'm here for you."

"Congratulation! You are pregnant for three months right now. Some women tend to get the sign early some will be late. Is this your first child?"

You and Yeonjun were speechless. This is not what you expected from the doctor. This is not the result that you want from the doctor. You are having the best life right now so why this thing happen at this time?! You tried hard to forget your past, to forget your boyfriend but instead you are carrying his child now. You felt sick remembering his words.

"I will always be with you, Y/n. I will always stuck with you."

"Y/n?"

You looked at Yeonjun caressing your back. The doctor has gone already. You guys walked out from the room and went inside his car.

"I want to get rid of this child."

"Y/n, what the fuck ? No!"

"I don't want it Yeonjun!! I don't want to carry this."

"Y/n, this child is innocent. I know you might feel disgusting but please don't do this. Me and my mom can help you."

You calmed down hearing his words. No matter how much hate you have towards this news, it's still your child. Yeonjun started the engine and drove both of you to home. Too bad, none of you noticed someone has been watching you from far distance.

"I found her."

_____

Two months passed since the day you acknowledge your pregnancy. You can see your stomach bump now and you also started to accept the child that is growing in you.

Yeonjun and his mom really took good care of you. Sometimes, Yeonjun will bring clothes or toys when he back from his work. You even wonder how can he afford all of that when he is just a farmer. Regardless, you were grateful for both of them.

One night, you were walking back to the house after bought something from convenience store. Despite getting some sweet scold from Yeonjun's mom, she let you go with a condition to not buying too much stuff.

You walked giddily until you noticed few cars parked in front of the house. Yeonjun's mom didn't say anything about inviting someone tonight. Without thinking much, you went inside the house.

"I'm home."

"How are you, my love?"

You stopped on your track when saw Jake, your boyfriend sitting on the couch and watch you with smile on his face. Panic started to build up and you slowly backed away afraid of him being closer. There were also Jake's friends who always help him finding you when you try to run away. Sunghoon and Jay holding you tightly so you can't move anymore. You looked at Yeonjun and his mom sat on the couch and just looked down on their feet like they felt guilty.

.....Guilty??

"My god honey. Look at you. So beautiful with my child inside of you. Told you that you can't run away from me."

"Don't- don't hurt them, please."

Jake scoffed and laughed like you just told him a joke. He went closer to you and caressed your face. Your cheeks became chubbier and Jake thinks that is the cutest thing ever.

"I would not kill them, honey. After all, I paid them to take care of you."

Your eyes widen at what he said. You looked straight to his eyes looking for a lie but you knew his eyes showed the truth.

"You are just trying to manipulate me."

"My love, do you think people would let money go away from their hands? All I do was giving a check and done."

Your eyes turned to Yeonjun and his mom who still didn't look up. You felt like you just got stepped on real hard with those facts came out from your boyfriend. When you finally thought you got away from him but no. Never. You never got away. You just stuck and running in circle without you noticing.

"Let's go back, my love. You have been out for a long time. It's time for you to be back in our house."

Without saying anything, you let Jake hold you and brought you inside the car. You didn't look back to the house. You were too heartbroken by the betrayal. Jake went inside after few minutes and started the car then quickly drove away leaving the other member standing outside the house.

-----

"You guys ready?"

"Yeah."

"Get all of the equipments. We gonna make sure everything is clean."

They went back inside and started to do their work. Yeonjun and his mom pleading went ignored.

"We did like you told us! Please let us go."

"Well, Jake never say he will let you guys go once he took Y/n back."

The horror on both of their faces looked funny to the members. They laughed for the last time before ending their life.

------

😐😐dang that was long..well I really hope this will be entertaining for you guys🙌

Taglist: @stacey-stonem @duolingofanaccount @cyberpinkx

[xdacted]

i think you were drunk (you spelled wedding wrong)

Paring: Reader x Carlos Sainz Jr.

Warnings: Hurt/no comfort, Fluff, Childhood love

Word Count: 5,807

Status: Complete

Inspired by: "Why'd you invite me to your wedding?" - Kevin Atwater

____________________

Carlos hadn’t seen the message until the next morning. 

A message from a number he thought forgot about him. For a moment, he wondered if it could be true. If it was real. 

“Hey! I’m sorry this is so out of the blue, I know it’s been a while. I hope you’re doing good, I watch your races so just know I’m always rooting for you. I miss being at the races with you, it was always so fun. I’m sorry it’s been so long. But I wanted to invite you to my weddign, which will be next month. I’ve sent an invitation to your family, I hope that’s alright. I wanted to invite you myself because I could not imagine that day without you. Let me know if you can make it, I know how busy you are. Love you.”

Then, right under it, is a smaller bubble that reads:

“Text me back if you can. I miss you.”

Carlos thinks he might be sick. He rereads the message, pulling his phone closer to his face. He can’t stop himself from whispering her name. It’s been years. This girl, his girl. His entire life, she’s been there, since he was little. They were fast friends, but, of course, to Carlos, it was more than that. 

To him, it was everything. 

__________

“Someone has a crush on Carlito!” 

Her brothers were running around them, stomping across the grass. She groaned at them, they had moved twice - each time prompted by them coming around to pick at their sister. Carlos liked to giggle at it, he and Blanca weren’t as rambunctious. 

Carlos knew that they liked to pick on her, but would always stop the moment she began to cry. She was their baby sister after all. 

“Shut up! I do not!” 

Her face was a violent red, the blush spreading up to her ears. She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, and puffing her cheeks. Her brothers come to pull at her hair, pinching at her sides. She whines for them to leave her alone and Carlos can only giggle. 

He thinks about what they’ve said. A crush? On him? The thought alone makes his face go hot. That kind of thing, with moms and dads and kissing. He hadn’t given it much thought. 

Would it be so bad? Carlos didn’t think so. He thought that if he did have to marry anyone, he’d like it to be her. She liked racing and played golf with him.  

“Maybe Carlito has a crush on you!”

“Stop!”

Carlos looked down at his lap. Did he? He pulls at the skin of his fingertips, his head full of thoughts. He shakes his head, trying to laugh it away, “No way!” He says. 

It’s easier like that. 

When he looks over at her, she’s staring straight at him, a smile on her face. 

“We’re best friends!” She declares, glaring over at her brothers, “Right?”

“Right!” Friends. If she wanted to be friends, Carlos thought that was perfect. “Best friends.”

Because even friends could marry each other, right?

__________

He spent the morning staring at his phone. 

Carlos thought that perhaps it would go away, fade into nothingness, but it was still there, a blue bubble glaring right at him. He had spent hours rereading it, so much so that he was sure he could recite it from memory. 

‘I miss you.’

He squeezed his eyes shut. The memories of her were something that he kept away. Secret treasures that he held so close to his heart. Even after all these years, at just the simplest phrase, Carlos could feel his heart begin to pound. 

It was only her. 

It would only ever be her. 

Evidently, he recalls bitterly, he wasn’t it for her. Carlos has to stop himself from throwing the phone. Even in the darkness of his mind, he can see those words. He can hear her voice, reading them aloud. It makes him sick. 

He knew that they would meet again - he prayed for it - but never like this. It wasn’t fair. Almost cruel, he thinks, that he would be subject to loving her for the rest of his life. But, how beautiful it is to love her. 

He thinks of her smile. The smallest quirk of her lips, something so shy and tiny. It was only full with him, or at least, it was. His mind wanders to who she might be now. There’s a part of him that knows he could find out, the quickest search of her name would tell him everything.

But there’s a reason he hasn’t, he was afraid of seeing her happy without him. 

He couldn’t. 

Carlos sighed. 

His chest was heavy with emotion. There was a sea of them - anger, sadness, happiness, longing. He might just explode. Fall apart on his couch and just a mess of a man. 

They were so young then. Just kids. Carlos thinks of the irony, they used to sit and laugh at the thought of people getting married so young. Thinking that you could devote yourself to someone you hardly knew, he remembers how they thought it was so stupid. 

It isn’t as funny anymore. 

__________

When Carlos got the call from Red Bull he cried. 

His father had been pacing the room with him, talking about his chances and pondering on the season. But as soon as that phone rang, he was right at Carlos’ side, already pulling him into a hug as soon as he confirmed a date for contract negotiations. 

It was his time. 

His start was here and now. 

When he managed to calm himself down, he called her. 

She picked up and screeched in his ear when he broke the news. 

“OH MY GOD! CARLOS! YOU DID IT!”

He started to cry all over again, “...I know…”

“I’m coming over,” She said hurriedly, he could hear her bustling around the room. 

“Wait! You don’t have to -” She’d already hung up on him. 

He was waiting outside for her, fidgeting with the dirt around the steps of his house. The excitement was buzzing in his veins, he could still hardly believe it. She rode up only a few moments later, dropped her bike onto the lawn, and ran up to him. He caught her in a hug. 

Carlos couldn’t help the few tears that escaped him. His dream was finally happening. He would finally get the chance to be known as more than just the son of Carlos Sainz, he was going to make a name for himself. 

He couldn’t wait. 

When she pulled away, she was quick to seize his shoulders, “You did it!”

He could only smile, there was so much joy, he was bursting with it. 

“I’m so proud of you, Carlos,” She said, smiling up at him. 

He felt his face go red. She would never understand how much those words would mean. Everyone could hate him, everyone could be against him, but so long as she wasn’t, he could do anything. Since the very beginning, she had always been his biggest supporter. Every race she could go to, she was at. It got harder as he climbed the ranks, races were farther and farther. But it always seemed like she just knew. 

When he would come back she would insist on a very detailed account, getting angry with him when he left anything out. She claimed it made her feel like she was there. Carlos always just rolled his eyes, but he could never deny how much he loved it. To know that she wanted him to do well. 

It made every victory sweeter and every loss harder. 

Above all, he hated losing in front of her. To know that she was watching, to know that she could see him fail. He hated it. But she always said that even champions have bad seasons, it wasn’t untrue, but Carlos hated it nonetheless. 

They had moved to the steps of his house. Sitting beside one another, their knees touching, she bumped him with her shoulder. 

“So, you’re going to remember me when you’re rich and famous?”

He rolled his eyes, “I don’t know. I’ll probably be super busy being too cool.”

“You are not cool.”

“Whatever,” He shrugged, “Don’t come crying to me when I’m champion.”

“As if,” She shoved him, he caught himself on the step and turned to her. 

He began to laugh before hooking his arm around her neck, “Of course, I’ll remember you.”

‘I love you.’

“You’re my best friend.”

She looks up at him. Carlos thinks that there’s something that passes across her face, but then, it’s gone. She smiles a true smile. Wide and beautiful.

“Good.”

_________

His mother calls him on the way to a meeting. 

As much as he wishes he could just let the phone ring, he knows he can’t. 

As soon as he answers, she’s gushing in his ear, “Carlito, I can’t believe she’s getting married! How wonderful! She will be the most beautiful bride! The invitation is just gorgeous.”

He lets her speak, leaning back in his seat. It hurts to know that his mother is so excited. He always thought that she wanted him to marry her, that’s what she always said when he was a kid. Maybe everyone let it go but him. 

“Did you know about this?”

“No, Mama,” He lies. It’s awful, lying to her. He can’t try to explain his feelings now, there’s still a part of him that wishes they’d go away. Hoping to drown himself in whatever work Ferrari will give him. The pain burns and he just wants to breathe again. 

“We should send her something,” She adds, he can hear her moving around the house. He wonders if she has the invitation in his hand. 

He hums, trying to keep the anger from his voice. This wasn’t her problem and he wasn’t going to make it hers. She doesn’t need to know - even if she did, what would she do?

His mother seems to think for a moment, humming a mindless tune before saying, “You should send her something!”

Carlos nearly chokes. 

“What?”

“Yes!” Her voice is so bright, “You two were so close, why not send her something? A ‘congratulations’ of sorts. Yes, that would be nice.”

“Mama…” He begins, unsure of how to tell her, “I - I don’t know -”

“Carlos,” She warns. 

With a sigh, he just hums again, “I’ll look into it.”

“Good,” He can hear the excitement ramp up in her voice again, “Isn’t this just so beautiful?”

Carlos can’t respond. 

It isn’t. It makes him sick. The very thought of it makes him want to cry and scream. Anger burns within him, stomach twisting. He hates this. He hates it because he loves her. He loves her more than anything. 

“It is.”

__________

It was quiet, the summer sun dancing on their skin. A breeze pulling through the air, tall grass blades dancing. The smell of the garden roses drifting around them. 

Carlos’ heart was pounding, thudding against his ribs, nearly jumping into his throat. He tried to swallow the anxiety that nearly lept from him, but the nerves in his stomach made it impossible. He felt like he was choking. Just sitting beside her, so close, but so far. 

He could feel the heat of her hand, he yearned to touch her, to intertwine their fingers. It wouldn’t be wrong, they held hands a lot back then, but he wasn’t sure he could do it, afraid his heart would’ve exploded. 

“What is it?” She looked over at him, her eyes trying to pry the information out of him.

He tore his face away, fists clenching at his side. He was always so afraid to tell her. Just a boy terribly in love with a girl, but he could never bring himself to say it. When he tried the words would abandon him and he would just end up brushing it off. 

But there, in the silence of the garden, he knew there was no hiding it. Not when she was boring a hole into the side of his head. She stared right through him. He took his lip between his teeth, horrified at the thought of it all slipping out. 

She would hate him. If he ever dared to say something like that she would kill him, he was so sure. It’s funny to look at it now, but he just focused on the blades of grass beside him. The green was bright and strong, small weeds blooming within the folds of dirt. He reached over to pluck at a dancing flower, but his hand was caught. 

She grabbed him, fingers around his wrist. Her hold was hardly there, he could break free from it if he wanted. But he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay there with her. 

 He was sure that she could feel his racing heart, but she said nothing. Just bringing her hand up to rest in his palm. His stomach flipped, and he shut his eyes. 

This wasn’t like him. Carlos had never been a coward, but for her - and only her - he was reduced to nothing. He loved her, his feelings brimming inside him.

Any more and he was sure that he would come apart at the seams. 

“Carlos,” Her voice whispered. 

He cracked his eyes open, and she was there, leaning over to peer down at him. Her hair fell from her shoulders, so close that he could smell her shampoo. It was the same one she’d used since they were 6 - one her mother made. The scent was her and her alone. 

Carlos swallowed. 

She lowered herself closer. Carlos was sure his heart was so loud that she could hear it, surely she could. She smiled down at him, cocking her head to the side. 

“What are you thinking?”

He just shook his head, afraid to trust his voice. 

“Then?”

“‘Then’ what?”

“Why won’t you look at me?” A pout made its way on her face, jutting her lower lip out dramatically. 

He chuckled, trying to rein in his heart. But it was so difficult, her beautiful eyes looking down at him, the lines of her lips and nose and cheeks. He had memorized it all. He would know her no matter what, from the way she laughed, to the way she spoke, to the way she just breathed. 

Carlos loved her so much it hurt. 

‘I can’t,’ He didn’t say, ‘I love you too much.’

She didn’t say anything. Just smiling down at him. Carlos thought that just for a moment if even for a moment, something shifted in her eyes. A foreign look floats in them, dancing in the color and making them shine. 

It was odd. 

He wanted to know what that was, the smallest change. Silence pulled over them. 

The sun shined through the parts in her hair, falling onto his skin, a gentle stroke of warmth. The breeze carried the scent of the roses, and the grass below them swayed. Around them, the world seemed to slow. It was like the only person he could see was her. 

The only person that she could see was him. 

Lost somewhere in time, just two hearts dancing away in the summer. Nothing else would matter, just them, just at this moment. 

Carlos lost himself. 

He leaned up, closing the space between them, and kissed her. 

The softest thing, a barely there press of their lips. 

He hadn’t even realized he’d done it, pulling himself away as soon as he did. 

Neither of them said a thing. Just staring at the other with wide eyes. A pink blush dusted her cheeks, and that look in her eyes changed again. She drew in a sharp breath, and Carlos was sure he’d ruined everything.  

It was destroyed because of him. 

But he couldn’t even mutter out an apology. There was nothing to say, nothing to do. She moved away, rolling back to sit on the grass. Carlos felt like crying, bringing a forearm to cover his face. 

What an idiot. 

He felt the regret sit against his chest, so heavy he could hardly breathe. Why did he have to lose control of himself? They were supposed to be friends, but all he was doing was making it complicated. He was in love with her, she loved him - it was supposed to be enough. 

Carlos let out a deep sigh. He could hear the grass shifting beside him, he spared a look over and she was still there. She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, tucking her chin on them, arms wrapped around her legs. 

When he opened his mouth to speak, she beat him to it, “I - I guess…I mean, I guess it would be lame if you went to Red Bull without having your first kiss, huh?

He shot up, “That’s - that’s not what this was! I - I’m sorry!”

She turned to face him, her face still bright red, but with a shy smile, “It’s ok.” 

He hadn’t realized that he reached for her hand, and she squeezed, “I didn’t mind. If I’m going to have my first kiss, at least it’s you.”

Carlos could only stare at her, mouth hanging open. 

This wasn’t what he thought. 

“Are you sure?”

She leaned against her knees, “Yeah. Isn’t that what friends are for?”

The word struck him deeper than it had any right to. But he couldn’t help the relief that flooded through him, “Yeah…yeah…of course.”

“It would be lame if I was the only F4 driver without a kiss.”

“Super lame.”

“Hey!”

She burst into laughter. Her laugh filled the garden and he was soon to join, throwing his head back. This was easy. Being like this with her was easy. 

“That means you would’ve been lame too.”

“Not as lame as you.”

“I’m super cool.”

“No, Carlos, you’re not.”

They never spoke of it again. 

__________

Carlos nearly has a heart attack when his phone buzzes in his pocket. But, upon further inspection, it’s only Blanca.

‘I talked to Mom,’ Her text says, ‘She told me what happened.’

He just stares at it. Pocketing his phone, he’ll answer it later. Too many texts have been sent to him today. Carlos contemplates running over his phone. Maybe that’ll shut everyone up.

His pocket buzzes again. And again. And again. 

With a groan he pulls it back out, scrolling through the messages. 

‘Answer me.’ 

‘CARLOS.’

‘Ok,’ Is all he sends back, ready to tuck it away once more, but there’s another text that pops up. 

‘Are you ok?’

For a moment, Carlos thinks about telling her. Though he never said a word about his feelings Blanca had this way of knowing. She called it a ‘sister thing’. Carlos just thought she was nosey.

‘Yes,’ he sends, following it with, ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

The text bubbles appear and disappear, it’s not very fair. He knows. But there’s too much happening and he can’t - he just can’t. Tomorrow he will apologize, but today, he just needs a break. 

In one of her ‘sister thing’ moments, she only ends up sending. 

‘OK, I’m here if you need anything. I love you.’

Carlos can feel the lump in his throat and struggles to swallow it. 

‘I love you too.’

__________

She called him sobbing. 

It was nearly midnight, Carlos had just gotten back from a race. He’d fallen onto his bed, sighing into the night air, when the rang. He thought about letting it go, the rings growing louder in the silence of his room. 

Against himself, he reached over and answered. 

As soon as he did, he could hear her heaving breaths, the sound of her hiccuping cries. He shot up and pulled the phone closer. 

“What happened? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

There was no answer, just another broken sob. The slick sound of her sniffling, wet breath. 

“Please,” He whispered, already standing, “Please tell me what’s wrong. Carino, please.”

“W-Will you come o-over?” She managed.

He did. Shoved his feet into his shoes, pulled a shirt over his head, and stormed right out the door. It never crossed his mind to take a car - he just ran. Pushing his way through the gate and rounding the corner into the street. He could hardly see a thing, the moon clouded and fuzzy. 

But he ran to her. 

He was there faster than ever, crawling over the small fence to get to her backyard. The garden stood tall, and the roses nicked his ankle. But all he could think about was the light coming from the upstairs bedroom, a shadowy figure pacing across the curtains. 

He had half a mind to scream for her, but she peered through the curtains and he could see the relief spread across her face. The sight of her made his stomach drop, he nearly tripped over himself to climb the ledge. It was a path he’d taken countless times, jumping to grip the railing and hoisting himself up. As a kid, he used to need her help, but they weren’t kids anymore. 

And Carlos is sure he would’ve found a way. Nothing could’ve stopped him from reaching her. 

Dropping himself onto the wooden floor, he breathed her name, but she was already pushing herself into his arms. He felt her trembling against him, wet facing pressed into his shirt. He couldn’t have cared less. Wrapping his arms around her, he brought her closer. Claros dropped his head to whisper into her ear. 

“I’m here…shh…I’m right here.”

Where her arms were locked around him, she fisted at his shirt, the fabric bunched between her fingers. Her grip was so tight he worried it might rip, but how could he ever worry about that? She pulled away from him, just enough to look him in the eye. Her face was blotchy, cheeks wet with tears, eyes red-rimmed. 

But Carlos still thought she was beautiful. 

The heartbreak on her face made something crack within him. 

“W- What’s wrong? Please, tell-”

“My dad,” She gasped, sucking in a large fit of air, “It - it’s my dad…he’s dying, Carlos…”

The world seemed to go still. Her words hadn’t seemed real, and Carlos half expected her brothers to jump from the dark hallway and laugh. It wasn’t possible. Things like this weren’t supposed to happen to them. Things like this - losing people, losing friends, and family - happened to everyone else. 

But not them.

It seemed that the world had finally come caving in on their little bubble. It was shattering around him and all Carlos wanted to do was stop it. Carlos felt so cold, that he hadn’t even realized that he began to cry too. Silent tears rolled down his face before he could stop them. 

The pain was unbearable. 

But they held each other. There, on her porch, they stood crying. Falling apart and having the other to lean on. Carlos clung to her, afraid that the world would try to take her too. That it would get greedy. 

‘I’m sorry,’ He wanted to say, but he couldn’t. The words lost to him, stuck in his throat.

He prayed that she would know. That she would know his feelings, the way he needed her. The way he loved her.

“Stay,” She whispered to him, her words almost swallowed by her cries, “Please.”

‘I need you.’ Went unsaid, but Carlos heard it anyway. 

 “Always.”

‘I love you.’

__________

“Everything alright, mate?” Charles’ voice pulled him back to himself 

Carlos shakes his head, blinking a few times, eyes stinging, “Yeah..fine. Sorry.”

He looks up, Silvia glaring down at him. The P.R. briefing was never anything he truly listened to, but perhaps his disinterest had gotten far too obvious. 

“As I was saying,” She rolled her eyes, flipping the papers in her hand. 

Her words fell past him again, something about interviews and language. He could feel Charles’ eyes still on him. He was far too kind for his own good, sometimes that meant trying to understand things that he had no business knowing. 

The meeting rolled on, and when they were dismissed, Carlos tried to slip away, but he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey!” Charles hooked his arm around Carlos, “Everything alright?”

“Of course,” He tried to sell it with a smile.

Charles didn’t believe him, green eyes boring into his own. When Carlos looked away, Charles was quick to bid those around them goodbye and steer them to an empty conference room. 

Damn, empath.

“What is it?” Charles said, shutting the door behind him. 

Secrets had never been Carlos’ strong suit. He threw himself onto a chair, bringing his hands up to his face. He hadn’t spoken to anyone about the message and was unsure how to start. He was lost in the sea of his emotions, torn between his sadness and anger. 

He felt like an idiot. 

“Carlos?”

Charles sits across from him, concern written across his face. Carlos takes a deep breath, he steadies himself on his knees, resting his elbows on his legs. 

“There was this girl - we were friends when we were little,” Charles nods along, letting Carlos speak, “And earlier today, she texted me to tell me that she was getting married.”

“OK?”

Carlos looks over at Charles. He’s unsure of the face that he makes, but it seems to be enough for him to understand. His face falls and he puts his hands over his heart. 

“Mate, I - I’m so sorry.” 

Carlos waves him away. This isn’t his fault, and yet, it’s just like Charles to act as if it is, “I will be fine.” 

Charles is silent for a while, looking down at his hands. He’s fiddling with the rings on his fingers, eyes darting around the room. Carlos has known him for far too long, he could practically see the cogs turning. 

“What?”

Charles doesn’t answer right away, but when he does, there’s a look in his eye, “Do you still love her?”

Carlos takes a deep breath. There is only one answer, there has only ever been one answer. 

“Yes.”

__________

Her father died 4 months later. 

And she was gone two months later. 

Her mother couldn't take the pain of being alone in the house her husband built, so she left. All things packed, the house empty, they were gone. 

Carlos couldn’t even say bye. His negotiations with Red Bull ran longer than they were supposed to, when he threatened to walk out his father nearly smacked him. 

“This is the opportunity of a lifetime!”

“She’s my best friend - I love her!”

“There will be other girls, she is not the only -”

“Yes,” He nearly screeched, “She is! She is the only one!”

His father just stared at him, sharp eyes squinting. He would never understand and Carlos didn’t have the strength to make him. He called her instead. 

She picked up on the second ring. Neither one of them said a thing, but Carlos could feel her disappointment. It was his own. 

Eventually, he can bring himself to utter her name, trying to find the apology, but she beats him to it. 

“I’m going to miss you,” She says.

Carlos nearly cries. They’ve been apart, his racing often keeping them away from one another for months on end, but she has always been at him, waiting for him. 

“I wish you could stay.”

He was being selfish - he knows - but the fear of her leaving, going far away. Carlos thought he was dying. His chest was tight, breathing shallow. His mind was racing, trying to think of something to make her stay - anything. 

“I do too,” He could hear the faintest hint of a smile in her voice, “But I can’t.”

“I could…” He began. 

But there was nothing. There was nothing that he could’ve done. The decision was one that was far beyond both of them. Spain held so much sadness for her, and it would be wrong for Carlos to ever want to have kept her there. It wouldn’t have been right. 

Silence ballooned between them once more. They were just there, breathing with one another. There was so much Carlos wanted to say, so much he needed to say. His love felt like it was bursting from his chest, trying to force its way out. Carlos choked it back. 

This wasn’t the time. It wasn’t the right moment to - 

“I love you, Carlos.”

The words hit him and he nearly collapsed. He could imagine her face, hand curled tight around her phone, beautiful face red. His heart was pounding, blood rushing. 

All these years, all this time. He loved her in silence, but to know that she loved him. It made him feel like he was floating. 

“I -”

“Carlos!”

His father was standing right before him, eyebrows drawn tight together, “They are waiting!”

“I’m going, I just have to-”

“You should go, Carlos,” He heard, her voice thin. She was crying, he knew she was, “They’re waiting for you.”

“NO!” He demanded. This wasn’t how he’d say goodbye, he wanted to tell her. 

“Please, I just need to say something.”

Again, his father just stared at him. But there was something different, his eyes were softer. Carlos thought if even for a moment, he saw understanding. With a click of his tongue, his father turned away, “Five minutes.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. 

He took a deep breath, “I - I need you to know-”

“I already do know,” There was a slight laugh to her words, just the smallest thing. Before Carlos could say anything else, she kept going, “Go show them who you are, Carlos.”

“But I need to tell you that I -”

“I love you too,” Was all he heard before the dial tone. 

She was gone. Just like that. 

__________

Though Charles offers to take him out to treat his sorrows, Carlos declines. He watches as Charles’ smile falters, but he still pats Carlos on the shoulder. 

“Of course,” He says, turning to fish his keys from his pocket, “But if you change your mind, let me know. Okay?”

Carlos nods. He waves Charles away. When he’s alone in his hotel room, he collapses onto his bed. He slips his phone from his pocket. It opens and he’s face-to-face with her message. 

Carlos wanted to be angry. 

After years, this was the first thing she said. 

He could say something, call her. It wouldn’t be right, he can’t be the reason that she breaks someone’s heart. He can't be the reason that someone else has to live without her. What a terrible existence that is. 

It just makes no sense, to think that after all these years, she invites him to her wedding. Carlos always thought that once they made their way back to each other, they would marry. In all his dreams, she was his wife. To love her forever would make the distance worth it. 

She told him that day. She said that she loved him, Carlos couldn’t help but think that maybe she was just being nice, just telling him what he wanted to hear on the most important day of his life. Thinking that maybe he had taken it wrong.

“Love you.”

But she would never love him the way he loved her. Completely. From the first day he met her, bumping heads in class, to the day he lost her. He has always loved her. He can see her still, smiling and bright - like the stars. He can feel the summer breeze, the smell of their childhood. He can see the rosebuds right before they bloom, waiting with her as the rain comes and they get sick. He remembers going to all her Flamenco performances - acting like he really cared about dances and not just seeing her face light up when she saw him. 

There is no part of his life that he can look back on and not see her. She is everywhere. And Carlos knows that she always will be. 

‘Text me back if you can.’

He couldn't bring himself to say no but knew he’d die if he had to see her marry someone else. It would break her heart, he’s sure of it. He can almost picture the disappointment on her face. Carlos wishes he could be stronger, to just put on a brave front, but he can’t. He’s only human. 

He’s just a man hopelessly in love with a woman he can’t have. 

What a pitiful thing to be. 

Carlos looks down at his phone.

The words are searing. If he saw her, what would he even say? Would he be able to hold himself back? Keep himself from spilling his feelings? 

The answer is simple. 

He won’t. 

There is something small inside of Carlos’ mind that feels giddy, she still thinks of him. He was still important to her, she wanted him. She cared about him. She missed him. Maybe she still loved him. Maybe he could - 

He shakes the thoughts from his head. No. That was a lifetime ago, those feelings were alive when they were 16. Not now.

There’s only one question he thinks back to. 

Why?

After all these years of silence, why now? Why this? 

They were kids back then, but Carlos likes to think that even what they felt then wasn’t nothing. That’s the very problem. Nothing was the same. They weren’t the same, the world around them wasn’t the same - even if Carlos so desperately wished it was. 

The screen begins to fade, but he taps it. It lights up once more, illuminating in the darkness of the hotel room. 

She’s getting married and she wants him to come. 

She’s happy and in love. She’s moved on. Carlos thinks of her smile again. A crushing sense of finality passes over him. He hopes that whoever it is makes her smile, and makes her laugh. He hopes that they hold her when she cries, and catch her when she falls. 

He hopes that one day he’ll be able to look back on her without so much pain. 

Why? 

That question refuses to die, still floating around in his mind even as he tries to shake it away. 

He’ll never know why, but maybe it’s better that way. To keep her as who she is in his memory, to keep them as they were. Young and beautiful. That’s all. 

Her message will sit unanswered. He can’t. He won’t. 

Carlos whispers an apology, he hopes that it might reach her. That she’ll catch the drift of his words in the wind, maybe even forgive him. He lets himself think of her, wondering what she’ll wear, what her hair will look like. 

Beautiful. 

He’s sure. 

He just won’t be there to see it. 

____________________

A/N:This work has been cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. All are under the name XDACTED. Thank you for reading and feel free to request fics about any of the drivers <3

Check out the song, it's not available yet, but it's up on TikTok

[emmy-dekarios-bg3]

Heart of the Weave - chapter 26

Morning finally arises and boy am I glad that I can’t be exhausted. Sleep is still nice while immortal; a full night’s sleep gets my brain functioning fully. On top of that, if I sleep, I feel more powerful than before, which is well needed in these strange times. I turn over to face Gale, noticing him wide awake with Jenevelle in his arms. She notices me waking up, smiling and cooing as she becomes alert.

“Ah, my little baby. Such a happy girl,” I remark, admiring her. Gale chuckles and rolls his eyes as if that wasn’t a true statement. She could never be a handful.

“Mmm, not this morning. On top of her wanting a bottle super early, which she let me know with anger by the way, she had a massive blowout like you wouldn’t believe. I had to bathe her and then eventually bathe myself. I’m just glad you got your rest after last night.” I snuggle my head into his neck comfortably.

“Well, Mr. Dekarios, I’d be happy to stay here while you go kick some Bhaalspawn arse.” He laughs and shrugs his bare shoulders, placing our daughter on my chest. I know he had an eventful morning with her, but I honestly love that he didn’t complain.

“Let’s chat with our counterparts –”

“Friends,” I interrupt, giving him a smirk.

“Right. Then we can come up with a plan.” Well damn, this means we will either need to visit most of our friends by foot, or we can visit with Withers. So, we are going the easy route and summoning Withers because walking all over Waterdeep is the biggest of hassles. For the purpose of Jenevelle not getting terrified, we place her in her playpen in the living area for a few moments while we discuss important matters with him in the kitchen. Tara is keeping her company in the meantime.

Gale performs the summoning spell and Withers appears before our very eyes, which never fails to make me jump because it either takes him one minute to appear or ten minutes. Either way, his entry is startlesome.

“Ah, does thou need assistance? I assume companionship is what is desired.”

“Good to see you again, Withers. Yes, that is the matter we wanted to discuss with you,” Gale responds. “Can you have them come our way please?”

“I can, but please be advised that Jaheira has passed on and Minsc is in a grieving state over her unpredicted death.” My jaw drops hearing this devastating news over Jaheira. No. This can’t be. I’m just now hearing about this?

“Wait…how did she die?” I ask, my voice cracking as I’m holding back tears. “It can’t be.”

“The Bhaalists. Jaheira’s soul flies on and is as bright as the moonlight. She protected the ones she loved and told them to run. I can say no more on the matter.”

“The Bhaalists…got her?”

“Yes.” Gale and I are astonished at this horrible news I didn’t expect to hear today. And Minsc? Oh poor Minsc. His heart must be so shattered. “Shall I alert thy companions for your needs?”

“Yes please,” I murmur, my heart shattered, and a tear delicately rolling down my cheek. Gale pulls me in for a gentle hug, holding me close as I cry into his chest. “Not Jaheira.”

Withers comes back after roughly five minutes.

“Thy companions should arrive here soon. Death and danger lie ahead, but those strong enough to bear it can end the darkness of Bhaal.” Poof. He vanishes again, leaving behind a cloud of blue smoke.

“Well, it’s happening. Hopefully our little group would be willing to conquer this journey with us. I’m so sorry we had to hear such horrible news,” Gale says apologetically. “From what I gathered from that, she told her family to run. It was just her against these horrible people, if you can even call them that.”

“They’re far from human. They’re deranged monsters.”

What is causing these horrible cultists to go on a rampage like this all of a sudden? I assume Bhaal had plans for them since Orin is no longer in the picture. They feared her, they obeyed her. They knew they couldn’t compete. Now that she’s dead, it’s a battle to the death to take her spot. Their God is vile and I’ll never understand his charms.

Everyone arrives at the tower quicker than we expected. Well, mostly everyone – excluding Minsc and Lae’zel. We open the door and everyone comes inside to gather around the living area. We all pour ourselves a glass of wine as we get ready to discuss the next steps.

“The babies… What are we to do?” Shadowheart questions, holding her baby in her arms. She genuinely looks terrified, and understandably so. The same fear eats me alive like a virus.

“My dear, you should stay with Emmy. I’m a vampire after all, I have nothing to fear. I’ll get to thirst on these heinous, filthy Bhaalists like it’s a buffet. I can’t wait. Plus, I need you and the child safe.”

“On top of that, you’ll get to be with Jenevelle and I. I could use the company,” I add. She gasps in excitement and Astarion takes the baby from her so she can jump up and down.

“Okay, I’m sold.”

“Wow, that was easy. Normally it’s hard to convince–” Shadowheart glares at Astarion for a moment and he clears his throat. “I mean, I’m glad you’ll be staying, my love.” I feel much more comfortable at the idea of staying home with Jenevelle now if it means Shadowheart would stay. Some sort of adult conversation will at least keep my mind at ease.

“Wyll and I will ABSOLUTELY join! We have nothing to live for,” Karlach chimes in. Wyll raises his eyebrow and cocks his head at her in confusion, and I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing.

“Hey now!”

“Sorry, that came off much worse out loud than it did in my head.” I burst out in laughter, which caused me to snort, which I tried not to do but it caused another laughing fit. Astarion is giving me a petty look of judgment, wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

“Alright, which one of you fools casted Tasha’s Hideous Laughter on this poor soul?” Astarion mutters. “Unbelievable.”

“Count me in as part of the team against these vile murderers,” Halsin comments. “May we restore peace once more and get justice for Jaheira.” Every single one of us holds up our wine glasses for a toast, and we all say simultaneously, “For Jaheira.” Both babies are lying on the rug on their bellies, trying to figure each other out. It’s so cute to see Jenevelle make her first friend, though Shadowheart and Astarion’s baby Asher will eventually age and ours will not. At least Asher is a half-elf, which means it might take him longer to age anyway.

“Well, when should we leave? I’ll need to pack some necessities for the adventure there,” Gale questions as he sits down on the sofa next to me. “I really hope we aren’t gone too long.” Sadness can be heard within his voice; it will be so hard for him to leave us.

“The sooner the better, before the already dire situations get much worse,” Astarion replies. “I just want to get this over with. And I suppose the less deaths around the world, the better. The old me would never say that.”

“So, tomorrow then? I’m with Astarion on this one,” Wyll chimes in. “For once.”

“Tomorrow it is then!”

I did not realize they’d all be leaving so soon, but I suppose it’s best they leave as soon as possible. Who knows how long Gale will be away from us and what sort of dangers they’ll run into? All I have to say is, thank the Gods he’s immortal otherwise I’d lose my shit.

“I’ll miss you,” I tell him as he wraps me in his warm embrace. He kisses my forehead as he holds me, hesitating on his next word. I know he’s just taking it all in.

“I’ll miss you too. Hopefully we won’t be gone terribly long.”

“You two are so fucking cute! It…makes me want to cry,” Karlach comments with a dramatic sniffle. “Sorry, I just love sappy shit like this.” Wyll wraps his arm around Karlach, laughing as he pulls her close and kisses the side of her head. “There it is. About time, Wyll.”

After everyone leaves, Gale packs his backpack with necessities needed for the dreaded adventure back to Baldur’s Gate and I decide to get dinner started. I just hope they can all at least get rid of the sick, monstrous fucks that are murdering everyone. I also keep hoping that Gale’s mother is alright. She’s older and fragile, I can’t imagine anything happening to her. While she lives in Waterdeep, I just know the cultists are bound to head here at any given time if they haven’t already.

We sat down at the table ready to eat dinner. Tara joins us, but basically licks her paws the whole time.

“I will do my best to protect our friends the best I can,” Gale mutters, taking a bite of venison. “I will do my damned best to get rid of the source of this catastrophe. After seeing the horrific influence Bhaal has on people, it makes me so glad I never chose godhood.”

“I agree completely. I can’t imagine you losing yourself for power like that. And you probably would have left me behind and we wouldn’t have the life we have now. I can’t fathom it.” We talk about it a lot, but it’s true. The influence a god has on people is terrifying. What if Bhaal was once a good person and turned to murder once he became a god?

It’s time for Jenevelle to go to sleep. I’m letting Gale feed her and prepare for her bed since he will leave early tomorrow morning.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” he mumbles to her as he gives her a bottle. “May you always stay so precious and sweet. I love you so very much. You are the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me.” He smiles down at her as she watches him speak. His soothing voice makes her eyes heavy and she looks as if she’s going to fall asleep in his arms.

[hello-nichya-here]

If you had to characterized Michael Jackson as one of the following adjectives that happened to be important qualities in the entertainment industry, which would you pick? Explain your answer.

Vocalist

Dancer

Songwriter

Performer

Picking "vocalist" would imply that his main focus as an artist would be his singing abilities.

Picking "dancer" would imply that his main focus as an artist would be his dancing abilities.

Picking "songwriter" would imply that his main focus as an artist would be his lyrics and not how he delivers them.

Picking "performer" would imply that his Mai focus as an artist during live shows isn't his singing it dancing, but the production elements (costumes, dancers, lighting, scene set up, ect)

Please give examples to justify your answer.

Picking one of the above adjectives wouldn't imply that his abilities in the rest of them are lacking, I'm simply trying to find which feild is his best.

This message has been typed by someone who knows shit about MJ and wants to learn but not through the mainstream media, as you've already said that they treated him like shit.

ANON, YOU FOOL, YOU OPENED THE FLOOD GATES! Get a snack and some water, then sit down, this is gonna take a ridiculously long time because I know WAY too much about Michael and you just gave me the chance to share all of that knowledge at once.

First off, I unfortunately have to get the depressing part out of the way and tell you that it wasn't just the media that treated him like shit. Nearly everyone in his life failed this man on some degree.

His father used to watch him and his brother's practice for their performances as The Jackson 5/The Jacksons - with a belt in hand to beat them if they got even a single note wrong. He'd also just throw them against all too He also made fun of Michael's appearence as he was growing up, mocking him for his acne, big nose and for being too dark to truly be his son.

Joseph Jackson also cheated on his wife constantly - especially while traveling with his sons during tours, since he was the manager. So add "Had to listen to him cheat on my mom" to the lists of reasons why Michael didn't like his dad all that much. He also didn't care where his sons performed as long as it got them money, leading to Michael, while still very much a young CHILD, singing in strip clubs, and, in his own words, having to watch adults fighting and vomiting on each other.

His brothers weren't saints either. They all had to share a room in the hotels during tours, and Michael not only had to hear his older brothers having sex with fans (again, while he was still a child), but he also had to hear how these girls were being used and thrown away. Michael even tried to talk to one of said girls after it because she was crying so much he thought she might have been there against her will.

And when Michael went solo and became far richer than anyone in the family (who by now were FAR from poor), he was constantly harassed for money by nearly everyone, leading to him full on hiding from them many times, and sometimes only "talking" to them by sending his lawyer in his place. In his own words "I’ve supported my brothers, supported them all. I’ve put their kids through school. But they still come after me, still wanting more. It never ends." After his death, most of his relatives were too busy fighting over his money to properly mourn him, or comfort his children.

As I explained in a previous post, the people that were making money off of him and his performances, were more than willing to just let Michael continue dancing after getting seriously injured and nearly dying:

His final tour, literally named "This Is It" because he wanted to officially retire already, was originally meant to be just 5 shows. Instead Michael was tricked into commiting to 50 shows, and pressured to "keep his word." Thanks to the years of neglect to his health, plus the reharsals for this tour, as well the help of a doctor that was more than happy to put him in a drug induced coma and call it "helping him sleep", Michael was dead before the first show of this tour even took place.

After his death, two posthumos albums were released, "Michael" and "Xscape." The first one had a lot of controversy surrounding it because 3 of the songs were NOT sung by Michael, and Sony, his record label, full on say on court that they had the right to attribute these tracks to Jackson, regardless of authenticity - aka "We should have the right to attach his name to stuff he didn't make, just so we can sell it a higher price." It did not go well.

Finally, we have the pedophilia allegations (that people still take as absolute truth despite Michael being proven innocent in court), which can summed up in this 2 minute video:

Said accusations, despite being obviously false, nearly destroyed his reputation completely, AND made him a victim of police brutality during the court case.

Now we got all that crap all of the way, let's talk about what actually matters:

Why Michael Jackson will always be THE greatest artist of all time!

There's a reason why he was called the King Of Pop, why many artists today (from like The Weekend and Bruno Mars, to nearly every K-Pop group ever) take a ton of notes from how he used to do things, why people still ADORE Thriller 40 years later, why he is still so iconic even though "Year of Michael Jackson" was 1988 - 35 years ago. Michael Jackson was the definition of a "perfectionist." A picture of him should be right next to that word in every dictionary.

If while reading about his depressing life, you found yourself thinking "Why did he wait so long to finally 'quit his job', and even then was still willing to end it on a high note?" the answer is pretty simple: Michael Jackson was an ambitious man, with a real passion for his craft, and he knew damn well he was incredibly talented. ALL of the words you chose as possibilities to define him - performer, dance, singer, writer - apply to him, because he made sure he was the best at everything, that no other artist, no matter how good they were, could compare to him.

Everything he did was like clockwork, a ton of large and small parts moving at once.

Michael knew that he needed to capture people's attention, so he used everything he had at his disposal. Multiple dancers, costumes, lighting, make-up, sound effects, back up vocalists going insane on the microphone, and short films to promote songs/albums.

Ever thought some music video by an artist you like was super creative and awesome? Thank Michael Jackson, because his clips were EVENTS, and he really opened the door for people to get creative and actively add plot to their videos/short films instead of just dancing and singing.

This man was commited into making everything he did look fantastic - and I do mean EVERYTHING. In a concert in Moscow, the stage was wet due to the heavy rain before it, so Michael added sliding around to the choreography to show the crew were the water puddles were. Whenever something liket that happened and his shoes were wet, instead of stopping the concert for even a minute to dry them or put a different pair on, he'd just signal for people in the crew to leave towels on the stage, so he'd stand on them while dancing, drying the shoes without having to stop.

But he also used fake "unplanned" events to create humor, and give the crew more time to prepare things for the next song, or so he could change clothes - the most famous one being inviting Slash, who would pretend get "carried away" during his guitar solos and "not stop when he was supposed to."

Then there are things like him using the iconic white glove in only one hand to hide the first signs of his vitiligo, or the hats (as well as wigs and hair-extensions) to cover up the scars and hair loss that he suffered after the Pepsi accident, in which his hair caught fire while filming a commercial.

There was also the time in which he couldn't dance due to an injury, so he did a less elaborate dance (by his standards anyway) while in a chair, but while reacting the entire vibe of the original short film for that song, so it would still get the public excited. That dude knew how to use his little "tricks" to get around any change of plans.

There was also his habit of using black shoes and black pants, but white socks, so that when he was dancing, people's eyes would naturally focus on the thing that is standing out, and thus be able to notice every little step he was doing (he once mentioned in an interview how he'd get frustrated watching James Brown on TV because the camera didn't focus enough on his feet for him to learn how to copy the moves).

Those last two exemples I just gave you, also highlight a very important thing: dancing absolutely is part of Michael's theatrics (see the awesome choreography of "Dangerous", which is one of my favorites, and can often even overshadow the more "flashy" stuff, because just having him alone on stage was enough to create something unforgettable - like the first time he did the Moonwalk

But we can also not separate the dance from his passion for music. There's a reason Michael's entire body moves whenever there's a change even in a single note, be it through a kick, a snap of his fingers, a tap of his foot, or just him turning his head to the side. He had repeatedly said that when working on his dancing, he focused more on the feeling it gave him.

Michael was heavily involved in the creation of his music, from the melody to the lyrics - back in the Jackson 5 days, he and his brother's actively fought to be allowed to write their own songs, instead of just doing covers and having other people write for them. Even though he had been putting out solo records his whole life, he said his albums only started to truly feel like they were his when he started stepping up as a song writter, starting in "Off The Wall", and gaining more and more confidence in his craft with each new record.

And back to the "performer" side for a minute: there's a reason why Michael always gave it all when making music videos. He wanted them to properly convey the meaning of the lyrics, even to people who did not speak any english. That's how important the messages he wanted to share with people were to him.

There's also the song "They Don't Care About Us", which Michael wrote after the incident I mentioned before, in which some bastard cops decided to make him their punching bag. The whole song is about authorities abusing their power over people, while neglecting to do their jobs. There are two videos for this one, one in a real prison, which was heavily censored by american media, and one in poor regions of Brazil, where our government tried to prevent him from filming his video - in both cases, it was obviously a case of the very people Michael was calling out not wanting him to expose just how right he was. (Little fun fact for you: Michael's help, both through expousure and money, for the people here in Brazil was so significant that there's a statue in his homage).

The music video for "Beat It" also has members of real, rival gangs as Michael's dancers, promoting his message for people not let that kind of grudge and "I'm the best" atitute get them in the dangerous situations because they didn't want to "admit defeat" and walk away - once again, he's everything at once, an amazing performer making a cool video, and a skilled writer getting a point across.

His vocals also tie into how much the lyrics mattered. He was literally crying while recording "She's Out Of My Life", and even though he didn't write "Man In The Mirror" that song was always very dear to him (and by consequence, to fans) because it alligned with his beliefs for a better world.

The emotions behind any lyrics, regardless of if it had been written by him or not (and I remind you, it very often was, and he literally fought for that right), were the very core of what Michael Jackson, both the artist and person, was all about. The feeling, the message.

But he also was so serious and methodical about every other part of the songs he made. So much so that, for Billie Jean, he recorded 91 different takes, but the one that was considered the best and ended up on the album was take TWO! And he once managed to prove he had not ripped off a different song writer by beatboxing in court. I am not kidding.

THAT is how skilled that man was. MJ could sing pretty much anything he wanted to sing, and had an unbelievable level of control over his voice, that allowed him to reach super high notes, despite having a naturally much lower, deeper voice. Just compare his singing in these two tracks:

And if you want to hear solely his voice, without the rest of the song to "distract" you, well...

And to circle back to his performances again, even in situations in which he had to lipsinc - like award shows since the logistics for live performances in those places can be complicated, or during a REALLY elaborate choreography - he still had the habit of recording NEW vocals for the songs, so fans would still get to hear him toy with new ideas for his old tracks, instead of just watching him dance while the album's tracks were playing

So there you have it, anon. This is Michael Jackson - performer, dancer, singer, songwriter - the full package. (If you want to see a concert of his in which he shows off all of that, I recommend you watch the full Live at Wembly concert, which anyone can watch for free on his official youtube channel)

[diodellet]

unremarkable (belphegor x gn!reader)

i think im Going Through It. i wanted to write messy makeouts and heavy petting in your boyfie's lap but jokes on me🥴🥴theyre not even tgt and theyre not even sitting down. please make sure to read the content warnings before continuing. content warnings: -reader is gender-neutral but described as flat-chested (no mention of any genitalia) -self-image issues and self-hatred (in both the reader's dialogue and internal thoughts) -mild degradation (from belphie) -dubcon (reader says stop multiple times but belphie doesn't immediately stop) -codependency (whatever relationship is being shown here may be tender, but its not healthy) ++ gratuitous foreplay, frottage, crying, reader as an unreliable narrator, 0.5 seconds of belphegor's gentle side. mildly unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine. word count: 3.3k words minors do not interact

"You seem like you're doing well."

"Jesus!" You jump at the sound of Belphegor's voice, almost knocking the back of your head against the cabinet door.

"Wrong name."

Somewhere from the mess of blankets, pillows, and the comforter on your bed, the seventh-born's voice brings you out of your quiet daze. He sits up, clutching his favorite pillow to his chest.

You plaster a scowl on your face. "Why are you in my bed?"

"It's comfier than that thing you call a sofa. Why wouldn't I be in a bed?" He doesn't seem well-rested either.  His hair was messy and unkempt, the startings of dark circles lined the underside of his eyes. Nice to know that you weren’t the only one who’s been having a shit time.

"No! I mean, why not be in your bed, with the rest of—actually, forget that. Nevermind.” Your hands pull the hem of the fresh t-shirt over your head, straighten out the edges and sleeves before shutting the cabinet closed.

More importantly, for how long has he been there? You’re sure you don’t recall hearing the door creak open or the rattle of the window’s screen. But when a demon invites themself over to your actual living space, they could choose not to arrive in a flash of brimstone and sulfur. They didn’t need the flourish of summoning sigils, nor the light of the moon in a specific alignment with the planets. If you cast a shadow or owned a mirror—simple things like that, then it was already enough of an invitation to let them in.

And for Belphegor, finding his way to your home was as simple as slipping into a dream. Or so he said.

“Oh? Do you want to hear about how the rest of us are doing at the House of Lamentation? We’re doing just fine, thanks for asking by the way.”

It’s not his words that make you flinch. It’s the accusatory tone underneath his words that cuts into you, the ‘without you’ that goes unsaid.

“I said nevermind,” you grumble. It’s been a while since you’ve been in the presence of an otherworldly being, your nerves buzz with the need to stand up and move around, or at least to clean the mess that was starting to accumulate in your room.

Or maybe the unease stems from the plain fact that it’s been a while since you’ve had someone in your company. And it had to be Belphegor, who liked inserting himself into whatever you were doing. Especially when you wanted some peace and quiet, especially when you wanted to be alone.

(Why did it feel…nice to suddenly see a familiar face?)

“Did you just come by to give me shit or did Lucifer ask you to pass a message?” Your irritation builds when you can't twist an old plastic wrapper into a neat knot. Couldn’t steady your hands to pass the end through the knot, instead throwing it in the direction of the wastebin and missing. Ugh. You go to pick up the other scattered trash instead.

“He wasn’t happy when he found out you got rid of your D.D.D.” Belphegor stands up, throwing the wrapper you discarded and bringing the wastebin to you. “What’ll you do if he visits?”

“There’s no way he would.” Lucifer’s loyalty was always to his family. You were just an outsider. You take the wastebin from Belphegor, brushing past him to continue picking up litter on the other side of your bed. The old receipts that started yellowing and the plastic pouches that your online shopping orders arrived in and everything in between.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” You hate the way Belphegor says your name, laced with slow sarcastic condescension.

Instead you swallow down the heat of annoyance building in your throat. Let it build and build and pinch at your brow. “What do you mean?”

“I might’ve overheard him talking to Mammon. And to Lord Diavolo.” He only meets your gaze with a shrug, rests his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “Just saying.”

It doesn’t take long for you to piece together the barebones message. The fact that he was here without securing much permission meant that he was expected to bring you back.

Just saying, my ass. In the end, you didn’t have a choice.

You set the wastebin just outside of your bedroom, end up setting it down with too much force. “...How long did they give you?” Bite your inner cheek, control yourself, keep your voice even.

“Dunno.” Belphegor sighs, blowing away the tuft of hair falling over his eye. “I already left when they said I could go.”

“Why.” Your voice pitches high, a note just short of hysteric. “Do you—are you hoping to get locked up again? Why did you come here, Belphegor?”

“...Would you believe me if I said I wanted to see you?”

Then what was that earlier part of the conversation about? Was he just stringing you along? To see your reaction? The building anger inside of you skids to a stop.

Your voice turns icy. “You and I both know that no one in their right mind would waste the time to look at me.” 

“What are you saying?” The expression on Belphegor’s face mirrors your own. Why were you saying this all of a sudden? Was it because you have been carrying these unwelcome thoughts throughout your time alone? No, it was simply because—

“Because it’s true.”

You were no longer the remarkable exchange student.

“You’re putting words in my mouth.” Belphegor says your name sharply, making you flinch.

In the moment, you just wanted to make a point. You wanted to be right for once, so your damn brain would stop buzzing. With echoes of your worst insecurities. With too much pent-up energy morphing into excitement. But no matter how much you chastised yourself for it, you were being dragged along by those feelings.

You lift your shirt up, giving Belphegor an unobstructed view of your bare torso. No more pact marks, no more blemishes from the little accidents during your stay. 

“There’s nothing remarkable about this.” Not anymore. 

At this point your mind catches up with your words and actions.

Cheeks heating up from embarrassment, you inject a mix of nonchalance and slight annoyance into your voice. Furrow your brows and play off the shame you felt towards yourself your body as irritation. "There, see. Nothing of note." 

Utterly human. Plain, nondescript, unremarkable.

You're not prepared for the warmth of his hands settling at the base of your ribcage. Rough thumbs tracing the shallow curve of your chest, just shy of making contact with your nipples. The touch to your skin alone sends a shiver through your frame.

"I don't think there's nothing of note here though." And he has the audacity to mimic the deriding cadence you used for the word.

You let go of your shirt’s hem, let it fall down to obscure his hands which stubbornly remain in place. (Never mind the fact that the sight—one palm large enough to engulf one half of your chest—stirs an all too familiar heat in your lower stomach.)

On second thought, maybe you weren’t able to play it off as easily as you thought.

“That’s because you suddenly touched me.” You muster a disinterested expression and meet his eyes. “Mind letting off?”

"Oh, really?” The way Belphegor draws out your name sends you further along your arousal, making you gloss over the fact that he ignored your request. The subtle change in his expression—an upwards quirk of his lips, his eyes narrowing and appraising you—makes you take a step backwards.

Now your back’s against the wall. How were you just making one mistake after another? Maybe your body’s impulses were taking the lead now and dragging your unwilling consciousness along for the ride. Leaving you as a helpless recipient to the stimulation.

“How about you let me touch you a bit more then I’ll back off?”

Fuck no. The answer should be easy, but then again, this was you. 

Lonely and isolated, starved of touch, craving to be desired. And when you were being propositioned by the only “person” who seemed willing to put up with you, well.

You tentatively wet your lips. The pressure settling on your chest doesn't let up (and it’s sending your brain into a fog). Belphegor's hands are lightly stroking up and down your sides. It’s as if the heat radiating from his skin was consuming you. You want to run away from it, but at the same time, the simple gesture was almost enough to make your knees buckle.

You tsk, “fine. Do what you want.” 

You fight to keep your expression neutral as Belphegor leans closer to you. Fight against the twisted sense of satisfaction seeing him pleased by your reluctant obedience.

You don’t expect his expression to morph into a small pout. “Don’t give me that look. It’ll feel good for you in the end, won’t it?” One of his palms gives your chest a light squeeze.

Your lips press together in a thin line as you consider your next words. “Do your worst then.”

And maybe it’d feel good for a bit, even if it’ll hurt once the wave of pleasure has run its course because Belphegor liked touching you as your nerves screamed for relief. And then you’ll hate yourself afterwards. You’ll spend the night curled up in bed hating yourself for feeling good and only feeling good for that brief moment.

(The aftermath was always the worst part. With clarity filling your mind and vision, making you hate the remnants of your arousal. With exhaustion settling into your nerves but never letting you slip into unconsciousness.)

Belphegor’s features darken, irritation swirling in his violet irises. There, that was a more familiar sight. One that suited his character more. Behind the sleepy and affectionate demeanor as the youngest lay a demon who was just as crafty and manipulative as—scratch that, maybe more than—the other high-ranking officials of the Devildom.

Yet at the same time, he was the youngest. You can’t help yourself from wanting to annoy him a little bit.

The satisfaction is short-lived however. Belphegor pinches the nubs in between the tips of his fingers, teasing them erect. A choked gasp falls from your lips, your eyes squeeze shut and the back of your head lightly knocks against the wall.

“Ha, please. I don’t even have to do much of anything,” he remarks in a low voice. Something along the lines of amusement colors his tone. “You’ll rub yourself against me at the slightest. Touch.” He gives a harsh tug to emphasize those two words, tearing a pained whimper from you.

“Well that’s because a demon like you could yank ’em off if you weren’t careful—” Your retort dies in your throat as he thumbs over the tips of your nipples. An agonizingly slow but pleasurable back-and-forth stimulus that makes your frame relax. As if you were some nervous thing to be tamed.

“What was that? Hm?” This fucking asshole.

You can’t muster a reply, too focused instead on keeping your mouth clamped shut. On keeping yourself still and trying not to arch into the traitorous heat of Belphegor’s palms.

“That’s what I thought.” And you can hear the deriding smirk forming on his lips. “You’ll just take anything I give because you’ll like it.”

It’s those words that send you further down your body’s sensations. Annoyance, humiliation, arousal—in spite of your pride, no that was wrong, in spite of your disgust towards yourself—all mix together into this ugly heat that makes your thighs press together, makes your core throb with need and desire and you want.

More.

You’re not prepared for the feeling of his tongue against your chest. Not prepared for the feeling of his lips sealing around your nipple and sucking gently.

“Hnnh…” Your knees tremble from the exertion of holding yourself up.

That doesn’t stop him from palming at the other unattended bud, rolling it between the fingers of his free hand. The light scrape of his nails against your skin, the way his thumb grazes against your areola while tracing the underside of your chest pulls a shaky sigh from you.

Belphegor continues to press into your space. He releases the nipple with a pop, leaving it red and shiny with spit. And when he toys with the damp numb using his fingers, a soft moan leaves your lips. “F-fuck…nnh…” Your fingers twitch, almost reflexively reaching for him.

“Don’t tell me you’re feeling it just from this.” He turns his attention to your other nipple, laving it with the flat of his tongue and a generous amount of saliva. 

“...It’s—hah—just…been a while…” you grit out. “I—”

“Whatever you say,” Belphegor drawls before suckling at the bud. Gently mouthing at it before nipping lightly with his teeth.

When the pleasure starts tipping into overstimulation, your resolve and facade crack. Your hands clench into fists, feebly attempting to ground yourself. Little moans of pain escape from you with each graze of Belphegor’s fingers against the nubs. With each swipe of his tongue against the small, unremarkable, but worst of all, sensitive buds betraying your body—betraying the fact that, if you were in better circumstances, you would have completely enjoyed this.

Your reprieve arrives the moment it becomes unbearable. Belphegor’s digits withdraw to settle just above the waistband of your shorts, stretching out the elastic and revealing the skin of your hips.

“Heh, you seemed to enjoy that.” One of his hands grips your chin and pulls your gaze downwards to look at the mix of sweat and arousal staining your underwear. “Look at the mess you made.” You don’t have anything for a rebuttal. You can only stare with burning cheeks. Stare at your skin and his other hand dipping into your shorts. And you notice how close he was standing to you, a scant few inches in between your hips and his. And—god why was the slightest touch ghosting down your navel, the slick sounds of his fingers stroking you—sending your nerves into a frenzy?!

"Hnn…fuck—” A weak keening sound leaves your throat. “Wait…I don’t wanna cum,” you protest, the sounds coming from you drowned out whatever words Belphegor was saying, your face feels too hot. “Stop, stop…" 

His pace quickens, you start meeting the movement of his wrist. His fingers curl into a tight fist. You might come like this. You just might come undone completely. And you don't want that. Your breathing hitches. "Belphie, stop!”

He stills, gazing at you with an unreadable expression. Slowly releases you—clear, viscous strings of your arousal cling to his digits. The motion elicits a disgusted full-body shiver from your frame.

You hate yourself. God, you hate yourself so much.

You belatedly register the tears sliding down your cheeks. A sob nearly escapes before you clench your jaw shut. Your hands furiously wipe at your eyes and cheeks but the tears. Just wouldn't. Stop.

“...you’re…” he speaks up, voice soft. Almost hesitant to complete that thought. Crying? Yes. Unsightly? Yes.

“Of fucking course I am, asshole! You weren’t—” Ah, but he wasn’t under a pact anymore, why would he listen to you? “You just kept—” And whose hips were rutting to meet each slow, deliberate thrust of his fingers? You had nothing to say that was worth listening to. 

(You’re not sure if you’re shaking because you started crying, or if your body was still anticipating, teetering at the edge of a climax.)

"I'm sorry I—god, I hate myself."  If you were going to burn up, you wanted every part of yourself to be consumed without leaving a single trace. You hate the complete, utter silence of the room. You’d rather take Belphegor’s rough treatment and his cutting words. Take any kind of pain over this, over the burning in the corners of your eyes.

Belphegor's clean hand comes up to cup your cheek. "Close your eyes," he murmurs as he leans in. You only get a brief glimpse of his expression—soft and torn—before you obey and feel the press of his lips against your own. Slightly chapped but nonetheless gentle against the salt and shame that stain your cheeks.

He doesn't completely pull away when the kiss ends. His breath fans against your lips, warm. "Don't say that."

"...but it's true,” you counter. Though the thickness in your voice does little to emphasize the bite of your words.

Belphegor frowns.

You especially hate the expression he is wearing on his face, that small unreadable frown. Or rather, you hate that you can't parse the specific emotion behind it. Can't tell if he was disgusted or just, outright bored with you because of your outburst. "I'm sorry," you repeat. How badly your body wanted to lean into the touch of his palms. Let the guilt pour soundlessly with your demeanor, and hope it would suffice for an apology.

(A part of you desperately hopes his silence is from the part of him that understands. That being spun empty words of comfort was more painful.)

Strange, isn’t it? Your tears have stopped flowing after a few beats of silence have passed. The worst of the emotions have run their course, yet in their wake, you only feel empty. Still resentful towards yourself.

"...there, you had your little touch. Will—" A hiccup escapes you. You don't like the weight of Belphegor's gaze on you. Your head turns away, shoulders curve inwards, arms rise to discreetly cover your chest."—will you let me go now? O-or are you going to…" Use me?

No matter how much his outward apathy colored his interactions, Belphegor was a curious being. And to stand in front of him unsightly as you are, to have him discard the blotchiness of your face and the little hiccups shaking your frame…

To have him regard you as the sole recipient of his curiosity, well.

It stirs an inkling of…something warm inside you despite your warring thoughts.

“...I don’t think I’ll let go of you just yet.” His knee slots itself between your legs. “Didn’t I tell you that it’d feel good for you in the end?”

“I don’t care about that anymore, it won’t even feel good for you…!” The heat in your voice dissipates with each nudge against your neglected arousal.

Belphegor shushes you, hands coming back up to touch your chest, thumbs stroking your neglected nipples. Just start feeling good already. Combined with the slow deliberate grind of his knee against your core (or were you the one desperately rutting against his leg?), the sensations are enough to pull a shaky whine from your lips.

“Belphie, it f-feels weird…”

“Hurts?"

You're past the point of distinguishing pain from pleasure. You just feel.

"Does it hurt?" He repeats his question, hands slowing.

You shake your head, fisting your hands into his shirt. “N-no…” It’s a feeble attempt to pull him closer to you.

You’re sure you’re making a mess of his pants with each sloppy cant of your hips. Even the guilt mere thought of that sends more warmth rushing through you. Building and building until you’re cumming with a choked cry. A fresh wave of tears spills down your cheeks.

With the strength sapped from your legs, Belphegor’s the only thing holding you up. Keeping you grounded.

Through the haze of your vision, you’re not sure what expression he’s wearing. “Can you give me one more?”

“...I…don’t know if I can…”

In the end though, you’ll give in to his demands. You’ll give in because your lonely self wanted something good—no matter how small or shallow it would be in hindsight.

You just hope that he would still be there with you when you were hating yourself for it.

A/N: yeah i think i just have one or two more drafts to work at.... and then... intense planning for my next major uploads (wcidfy ch 3 included).... unless my brain swerves and starts writing alt scenes/essayifying my current uploads.

[femboykyo]

You Are Human

Skk fic hurt with comfort

Add. Tags: soft, Dazai helps Chuuya, Chuuya has insecurities, found family, fluff

"Do you want to see your family, Chuuya?" He knew better than to give in, he knew better than to hear the offer, but to his inner child it was all that he wanted. Against his better judgement he said, "Yes." Now, Mori wasn't doing it all with malicious intent but he didn't want Chuuya to hang on to something that would never come back. So they went to the house and watched from a distance at the seemingly happy family. Chuuya didn't know why but it hurt to see his family... BEING a family. They were fine without him and even if they accepted him he could potentially get them in danger. It was better to be forgotten. He knew that, he truly thought that, and yet his heart still shattered. Mori gave a faint stare of empathy and patted the redhead's shoulder.

"Time to go, Chuuya."

"Yes, boss." For the rest of the day Chuuya's mind was reeling and he was quieter. It honestly worried Akutagawa but he didn't want to approach the man and potentially get him more upset. So he contacted the one person he knew could help Chuuya. Dazai. When it was dark out Chuuya was laying in his tub, he was too distracted to shower, and his bathroom door opened.

"Hey, Shortie, what are you doing?"

"Just laying here." He said softly. Dazai instantly knew something was wrong. He sat on the toilet seat and gave Chuuya a stern look.

"Chuuya, what's wrong?"

"Maybe if I was human then they would want me." Dazai was already angry. How dare anyone make Chuuya feel like he was anything but human.

"Maybe if I was human then I would still have a family. Maybe if-"

"-Chuuya!" The outburst surprised the redhead and with wide eyes he looked over to Dazai. The bandaged man took off his coat and joined Chuuya in the tub.

"Dazai! Your clothes!"

"Shut up!" Dazai grabbed Chuuya and pulled him close. Chuuya's face rested on Dazai's shoulder and there was a hand on the small of his back.

"Listen to me, there is no one more human than you, Chuuya." Chuuya started to tear up as Dazai's words vibrated in his chest and his heartbeat in Chuuya's ear.

"Family doesn't end at blood. Your family has always sucked but that doesn't mean that the family YOU made isn't with you."

"I made?" Chuuya sounded absolutely broken.

"Yes, you have made a family with all of your friends. You have me too and Atsushi. You are fine, you're the most human out of everyone." Chuuya broke down and cried into Dazai's neck. Dazai just stayed where he was with a smile on his face and his fingers brushing through Chuuya's wet hair. Dazai turned his head and their lips rested on one another. Chuuya's crying was reduced to hiccups and he was pulled onto Dazai's lap. Dazai put his face on Chuuya's head while his wet clothes were starting to get heavy.

"You're gonna get sick, dumbass."

"Then how about we get out and get warm together?" Dazai took off the rest of his clothes and placed them on the mat below. Chuuya's hands instinctively went onto Dazai's chest, his blue eyes looking up to Dazai's.

"Chuuya~ Don't you want to cuddle?"

"Idiot." Dazai couldn't help but chuckle and the two of them went to Chuuya's room after putting Dazai's wet clothes in the laundry. Chuuya always attached to Dazai's side perfectly when they would snuggle together. Dazai's hand once again was playing with Chuuya's hair.

"What happened today?"

"I went to see my family... They looked so happy and I didn't see anything about me there... Like they don't miss me."

"They haven't been your family for a long time, Chuuya."

"I just want someone to see me... As a person."

"I see you." Chuuya got tense, Dazai felt it, but he didn't say anything else. Dazai took it upon himself to make a move and hovered over the redhead.

"Dazai..."

"I'm sorry, you must feel pretty lonely right now huh?" He didn't know why but what Dazai said made him cry. Maybe because he made Chuuya feel seen, maybe because he made Chuuya feel human, maybe because he was Dazai. Dazai. The man always treated Chuuya like a person, someone with their own thoughts and feelings. Dazai always asked Chuuya what he thought about something and never treated him like a tool. Chuuya rested his arms on Dazai's shoulders and tilted his head up so they could kiss. Dazai. As long as he had Dazai, he had a family. A real family. It only took about five minutes into making out for Chuuya to feel like he was burning up. He didn't want that right now. Right now he just needed Dazai to tell him all the ways he was human, wanted, loved.

"Dazai, tell me you love me." Dazai gave Chuuya a blank stare and the air felt heavy.

"Dazai-"

"-I can't."

"Why not?"

"If I do then there's a chance of you getting hurt."

"Dazai, please. I really need this, it fucking hurts." Dazai sighed but a smile crept it's way anyway.

"I love you, Chuuya."

"And that you want me."

"Chuuya-"

"-Say it." Chuuya's lips, face, and neck were kissed. Dazai remembered this one spot on Chuuya's neck was ticklish so he lightly nibbled at it, he could feel the redhead squirm, he could hear his laughter.

"I want you, Chuuya."

"Okay okay I get it!" Chuuya managed to say in between laughs.

"Get off of me!" The two laid side by side while Chuuya caught his breath. Dazai had Chuuya in his arms and they listened to the slowly quieting city outside.

"Goodnight, Slug." Chuuya smacked Dazai's chest but there was no anger behind it.

"Goodnight, Mackerel." Chuuya fell asleep first as usual and Dazai took the chance to take in his sleeping image. Around his eyes were still red and puffy, his pink lips were swollen by their make out and his hair was a little bit of a tangled mess. It made his blood boil to no end when others didn't treat Chuuya right. He wished they would be gone forever. He wished that Chuuya could finally see how human he really is. He wished... He wished Chuuya had joined him at the ADA. He wished that the most everyday. Dazai could no longer keep himself awake with the comfort of his love on his arms. Maybe someday his wish would come true. Maybe someday his family would truly be whole.