#He gets $250 in fine

[amerasdreams]

Lol the intruders attorneys last name was Fudge

[heavenlydreamangelflyhigh]

i get so excited to see my parents after being away for the summer and as soon as i try to discuss a serious topic w them i remember why i was so eager to leave in the first place

[dani-the-toad]

i need money for therapy and its going to be 2 weeks worth this week because i wasnt sent money last week for it and i still didnt have a job and i am not starting my job until next week but i also really need money for this fucking framing and also other convention stuff that is pretty much in a week but i found an easy solution but it still costs money and i need to order it soon bc i need it by early next week and i need those stupid fucking plastic things so i can sell my prints without worry and business cards and so many fucking things but holy shit dude i am so stressed out because i hate asking for money from my dad even though he said hed help and i can just pay him back with con funds and head in hands. scream. what the fuck am i doing. im freaking the fuck out dude.

[oceantornadoo]

your weighted blanket (simon riley x f!reader)

part of this two lieutenants series but it’s standalone

—

“you know what i want?”

“wha’?”

“a weighted blanket.”

simon turned away from his bedroom desk to stare at you, his dark eyes squinting incredulously.

“what?! i think it’d help me sleep.”

“wha’ the fuck is a weighted blanket.”

you huffed a sigh. “it’s literally a weighted blanket simon. having weight pressing down on you helps you sleep, it’s scientifically proven.” you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms as you laid back on his bed.

turning off his desk lamp, he made his way to his bed. he joined you on top of the covers, giving you plenty of space. keeping it platonic. not that he wanted to, but that was another thing.

“can’t jus’ have some sop lay on you?” the words hurt coming out, but it was the only thing he could say. desperately looking for a sign that you were talking to someone as you were so tightlipped about your escapades until after they ended.

“i’m on a man break. they all suck.” no one measured up to the unending care simon gave you, even if he was just a friend. just a friend who lets you come into his room every night, talking yourself to sleep. just a friend who never forgets your favorite body wash or candle scent on supply runs.

“they don’t know how to treat a woman like you.” his words echoed in the dark, ideas of what they meant bouncing around in your brain. “a woman like me?” silence. “don’t be mean, si.”

fuck he was so stupid. needed to watch his tone better, like gaz was always telling him. “dove, jus’ meant a smart independent woman like yourself. yer lookin’ for a partner and they’re look for a mother or a fuck. or both.” your jaw dropped. “oh. thanks.” his words thickened the air. no one had ever talked about you like that, like you were something to be treasured, not kept. like he respected you.

“if you really need a weighted blanket i-“ “yeah?” you sounded too eager, but you didn’t care. you turned towards him, catching his eye in the gleam of the base lights outside his window. “could be yers. if you want. strictly platonic.” he scratched his head, looking away. embarrassed. “yeah, platonic. course, yeah. that’s fine. good, i mean.” you needed to get your act together and stop sounding like a teenager, but he just offered to be your blanket. surely that was more than platonic.

“now?”

“sure.”

you sat on his bed like a dead fish, arms at your sides. you were not about to initiate what surely would be the most awkward non-cuddle session in your life. simon pressed one large paw into the mattress, hauling his huge body up on one arm. he moved down farther on the bed, his head parallel to your ribs. then, with the uttermost care, he shifted on top of you, hovering. waiting. “you can lay on me si, it’s okay.” he released his hands slowly, the full force of his body laying on you. 250+ pounds of pure machine, a body honed from years in the military. a soldier, a sniper, a lieutenant, now at your mercy, body covering yours completely.

“not too weighted for you?” you giggled. an actual giggle from his fellow lieutenant. “no, si. not too weighted.” your hand instinctively went to his hair before you could stop yourself. “is this comfortable? you’re on my ribs.” he grunted. it actually hurt like a bitch, your bone pressing into him through layers of fat, but he was laying on you and therefore could not complain. “you can move up, i won’t mind.” well, if you were letting him. he wanted to make the most of this blanket situation, this type of intimacy so foreign to him.

simon scooted up your body and laid his head on your tits. built-in pillows, one might call them. you hand went to his hair again, slowly scratching his scalp. “this ok?” you never touched like this, had never touched him like something precious. he grunted, a yes in “ghost” as you liked to call it. you continued running your hand through his hair, surprised at the softness of his locks. his face was against your breast, and usually you’d be embarrassed, but lines had been crossed and all bets were off. his body was heavy, sure, but the weight of it was comforting. all you could think of was him, not the annoying recruit from this morning, not the bad dinner you had at the mess hall. only the smell of the base shampoo and his natural musk, something uniquely him but not gross.

all simon could hear was your heartbeat. it had quickened when he first laid down, but now it was slowing to a comforting beat. you were here, you were breathing. the gunfire and the smell of bombs in his head meant nothing as long as he had you like this, in his arms where no one could hurt you. he could feel your body relaxing, muscles losing the day’s tension and giving themselves over to sleep. as your breathing slowed and you moved to a lower, more comfortable position on his pillow, he knew time could stop and all that would matter was you, right here, with him.

--

[ba9go]

50 rounds of uppercuts (pt. 1)

gymbro!bakugou katsuki x fem!reader

part 2 💥 part 3 (coming soon!)

you’re at your usual gym doing your reps of hip thrusts when you notice number 2 pro-hero bakugou katsuki glaring at you in the mirror, mid-shoulder press.

“what?” you frowned. “is my form that shitty?”

“nah, your form’s fine,” he grunted. you can’t help the way your gaze drifts to his deltoids as he drops his dumbbells to the ground and walks over to the rack of weight plates. wow, he looks really good in that tank top. “just don’t know why you’re thrustin’ that puny weight.”

“excuse me?” you look over at him, offended. you were doing your best over here! your ass was in pain!

bakugou ignores you and you watch in horror as he plucks TWO 50-POUND PLATES from the rack and SLAPS THEM ON EITHER SIDE OF THE BARBELL RESTING OVER YOUR LAP.

“you got this,” bakugou says, and you think he’s making fun of you but he looks you dead in the eye and gives you a thumbs-up.

“this is like, 250 pounds.”

“yeah,” bakugou raises a brow at you, then shrugs. “you got this.”

ok but if a random guy did this to me in the gym irl i’d be so pressed LMAO bkg gets a pass tho 😋

taglist (thank you for your support!!): @anicaaa67 @maddietries @nemisimp @an-na-bella @valeriyaaak @buggie07 @v3n7s @deimosjay @iguanahykhv @zaiban2989 @girls-overflower @notmeduhh @busdriver-move-that-ass

[dazzlingjaeyun]

𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧 (𝐨𝐭𝟕)

✧ just very short drabbles of how enhypen would spend time with their s/o

bf!enhypen x fem!reader

genre: pure fluff

warnings: these are mostly very cliché, skinship, mentions of food

word count: between 250-300 words per member

↝ dazzlingjaeyun's bookshelf

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

- ', lee heeseung ; 290 words ꒱ ↷

boyfriend!heeseung, being the gamer that he is, would definitely spend a lot of his free time in front of his computer – even when spending time with his significant other.

however, he would never make you feel left out or like he didn't care about you. he would always find a way to include you, exactly according to your needs.

you just want some time with him close to you? he'll carefully pull you down to sit on his lap, wrapping his arms around you tightly as soon as you get comfortable (making sure to turn down the volume and keep his occasional comments to himself whenever you fall asleep).

you want to get involved in the game? he'll let you sit on his lap, his chest softly pressed against your back and his arms wrapped around you as he guides your hands to show you how it works, eventually letting you play without his help once you get the hang of it. he'll smile proudly whenever you win, hugging you a little tighter and pressing a rewarding kiss on your cheek. "that's my girl."

you want to just watch him play? he'll let you, trying his best to not only look extra handsome for you but also to show you the best side of his skills.

you want to talk to him? he'll pause his game immediately (or leave his friends hanging if he's playing online where he cannot click pause), giving you his full attention – no matter if you want to talk to him about something serious or if you just want to tell him something you'd consider insignificant, such as what you had for breakfast.

"you know you're always my priority. you come first, gaming comes second."

other members under the cut!

- ', park jongseong ; 272 words ꒱ ↷

cooking is definitely one of jay's many ways to express his love for the people he cares about. when it comes to his significant other, boyfriend!jay would not only love to prepare meals for them, but also enjoy cooking together.

you'd stand in the kitchen of your shared apartment next to him, helping him prepare the ingredients for a new recipe he wanted to try with you (he'd tell you he randomly came across it, but in reality, he had been scrolling through countless websites the night before while you were fast asleep, trying to find something new to create out of your favorite ingredients).

although fully trusting you and your skills, jay would always glance over at you, making sure you didn't accidentally get hurt.

once the two of you had successfully prepared everything, he would start the actual cooking. you'd sit on top of the kitchen counter next to the stove (but far enough away to not get burnt or splashed with food, as per jay's instructions), reading out the recipe so he could follow the steps. whenever it's time to taste-test, he'd give you a spoonful of the food to make sure it suits your liking.

of course, he'd let you cook with him whenever you wanted, but he'd just love to spoil you (and to show off his skills to you, hoping it would make you fall for him even more, which – spoiler alert – it would).

whenever you eat together, it wouldn't matter much whether you engage in a lively conversation or just stay in comfortable silence. as long as you're with jay, everything feels just fine.

- ', sim jaeyun ; 287 words ꒱ ↷

as jake's significant other, you'd always have to share his heart with his beloved pet dog layla. luckily enough, you were just as in love with her as your boyfriend!jake – and she seemed to love you equally.

safe to say, quality time with jake would, at least many times, also include her.

you'd love taking long walks in the park with her, taking turns holding her leash, and letting her run free wherever it was permitted. jake would look at you lovingly whenever you knelt down to pet her or to pick up one of the toy balls she loved to play fetch with (sometimes, just sometimes, he would wonder if you were equally loving and caring with children and how it would be to have your own little family with him).

"watch this," you'd tell him, before showing him a trick you had secretly practiced with layla whenever jake wasn't around. he'd smile proudly at the two of you, quick to kneel down and praise layla with some affectionate words and a treat or two.

every once in a while, you and jake would playfully fight over layla's parenthood, you claiming that you had the right to be her mom officially, now that she chose to lay her head on your lap instead of his during your weekly movie night, and jake playfully telling you to "know your limits" (he wouldn't state the obvious: that she only chose you over him because the bowl of chips was on your lap and she was probably waiting for something to fall down).

"so you do love her more than me!" you'd shout jokingly, to which jake would whisper, "don't tell her, but i love you both equally."

- ', park sunghoon ; 265 words ꒱ ↷

as an ex-athlete, boyfriend!sunghoon would love to take his significant other on ice skating dates from time to time.

although not being an active figure skater anymore, he'd feel the happiest at the ice rink – and he'd love to share his passion with you.

the first few times, sunghoon would be extra careful, making sure you didn't get hurt or feel uncomfortable. he would stand in front of you, grabbing both of your hands in his. "just hold onto me, alright?" he'd say as he effortlessly skated backwards, pulling you with him (he'd claim he did that so you could get used to the feeling of being on the ice, but in reality, he just loved seeing the smile that spread across your lips as you slowly moved forward).

after you got the hang of it, the two of you would skate next to each other with your fingers intertwined, or you'd challenge him to a race (which you knew you'd lose, but seeing how he could speed up so effortlessly was just too remarkable). sometimes, sunghoon would let his competitiveness take over, but more often than not, he would still let you win, loving the way you'd cheer happily and enduring all your playful mocking – as long as it meant he could see you smile.

he'd be surprised when you told him you wanted to learn how to do a spin, but he'd be more than willing to teach you patiently.

when you'd finally get it right, he'd smile at you proudly. "see, that's why we're meant for each other, you're a natural."

- ', kim seonwoo ; 256 words ꒱ ↷

there's no one who's as much into skincare as sunoo, so naturally, he'd love to spend at-home spa days with his significant other.

after a nice bath with a bath bomb the two of you had picked out together, boyfriend!sunoo would softly apply body lotion to your back where you couldn't reach, before helping you into your robe and tying it carefully.

sunoo would open the drawer that contains his skincare, picking out just the right products for your skin's current needs. once you're back in his room, he'd instruct you to lay down on your back so he could apply the products to your skin, his hands gliding across your face in soft motions. he'd love to take his time, making sure you felt good in the process, too.

given the perfection of his skin, you'd be extra careful when it's your turn to take care of his face, not wanting to irritate it in any way. sunoo's heart would warm at the way you'd caress his face with such care, making it hard for him not to jump up and squish you in a tight hug.

"don't be scared, baby, i'm not going to break," he'd say with a playful smile, to which you'd pout your lips.

"but you're so perfect, i don't want to ruin it!" your reply would make sunoo's heart flutter even more.

he'd take your hand and bring it to his lips to place a short kiss on the back of it. "a perfect boy for a perfect girl."

- ', yang jungwon ; 289 words ꒱ ↷

i feel like boyfriend!jungwon would love to go on cute little dates with his significant other, keeping a good balance between exploring new places and going back to your favorites.

as ordinary as this may sound, with jungwon, you'd never get bored. not only because he'd always find the best places to go, the most fun activities to do, or the most delicious restaurants to try, but he'd also always share the most random thoughts that would come to his mind, always giving you a reason to either giggle or leaving you wondering what was going on inside his head.

for your first date, wanting it to be different from the usual first dates, he'd take you to a botanical garden, showering you with the most random facts about the most random plants (he'd claim that he was a natural when it comes to plants, while in reality, he had studied all different kinds of biology books in hopes of impressing you on your first date. only months later, when his cactus injang died, you'd find out that he wasn't that much of a natural after all).

whenever he'd take you to the cute cat café at the other end of town, he'd spend his time smiling brightly at the way you interacted with the pets, while keeping the one cat that always came running to him on his lap, petting it softly and occasionally meowing back at it. "look, y/n, this one looks like she likes to eat yogurt," he'd say, to which you'd chuckle gently, wondering where he'd gotten this idea from.

"and what do i look like?" you'd ask, smiling extra cutely, hoping you could fish for a compliment.

"you? you look like my future wife."

- ', nishimura riki ; 258 words ꒱ ↷

riki = dance, dance = riki. that's why riki would for sure love to have a significant other who is at least half as passionate about dancing as he is. boyfriend!riki wouldn't need his partner to be at his level, but since he'd love to spend his free time dancing, he'd love to share his passion with his significant other.

you'd always be impressed by how incredible he was, knowing that all his skills were gained from endless hours of practice. sometimes, you'd need to physically drag him out of the studio and to your shared apartment to make sure he'd get the rest he needed.

he'd love to let you watch random dance jams just as much as well-practiced choreographies. of course, he'd let you join him, challenging you to a battle from time to time. whenever you'd ask him to teach you something new, he'd immediately agree, patiently practicing with you until you were satisfied with it.

needless to say, the two of you would dance together as well, finding joy in the way your bodies synced and feeling closer and more connected to each other than ever.

whenever exhaustion took over, the both of you would lay down on the parquet floor, panting until you caught your breath. after some moments in silence, riki would pull you closer to him, your head on his chest, so you could listen to his heartbeat.

"you're getting better every day, y/n. guess i gotta practice harder or one day you'll surpass me. i could never let that slide."

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

a/n: i've been wanting to do ot7 drabbles for so long, so here we go ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ

thank you so much for reading up until here. it means the entire world to me and i hope you guys enjoyed it. please do not copy. ❤︎︎

- dazzlingjaeyun

join my taglist here

[party-snake]

hi…. could i perhaps request a small one shot in which sebastian immediately develops a crush on some poor diver who just crawled through his vent? and he’s like all shy and shit? thank you :)

Certainly! Thanks for requesting :)

Cupid's arrow

Sebastian x Fem! Reader

Tw: The request and reponse will serve as your warning. Idiots in love.

oh... oh no. Sebastian promised himself he wouldn't get attached to any expendables. They're just prisoners. Some of them annoying pests who just want to flash him with that damn light beacon.

But you. You were different. The moment you stepped in his shop, you never flashed him. You even bought all his items. You never dared to say anything mean or degrading to him.

He chuckles as he slides the file over to you. "That wasn't exactly a staring contest. What were you doing?" The chair creaks as you slump foward, putting your head in your hands and pouting. "I wanted to look at the pretty shark." That made his heart skip a beat.

He scoffs and leans foward, tapping a claw on the bit of text. "Are you just ignoring the part where she is hostile to all humans?" You huff. "But I wanna look at her!" He rolls his eyes at that. "Look. Don't tell anyone this, but i'll give you a freebie."

You look taken aback for a moment before he frowns. "Take it before I change my mind." You nod quickly and were gone as soon as you came. he takes the moment as a second to breathe. 'Holy shit. So cute.' Thoughts race through his head, mostly of you.

A few minutes pass and he's back in his shop, adjusting his items. "Hi Seb." You say suddenly, catching him off guard. "Jesus- don't scare me like that. How'd you... you were so quiet." You simply nod. He straightens out, weaving his hands together. "Well, uh. What are you here for?" Browsing his wares, you spot a blacklight.

"Blacklight?" You ask. The shopkeeper nods. "Not many of those left. It doesn't anger the squiddles." You make a 'ohhh' face and pick it up, examining it. He chuckles at your cute face and just kinda... stares at you.

He snaps out of it when you wave your hand infront of him. "Seb? You okay?" He shakes his head. "Huh? Wha- Yup." He stutters horribly, cursing at himself. You smirk. "You sure?" You put your hands behind your back and step foward. He puts his hand over his face to block you out.

"Yup. T-Totally fine." You decide to drop it. "How much?" He looks down at you. "Huh?" You snicker and point at the blacklight in your hand. "For this." He looks dumbfounded for a few seconds before responding. "How about... 250. A discount, just for y-you."

"Really?" Stars form in your eyes and his brain stutters for a moment. "Yup." You fork over the data and stuff the blacklight in your bag. "Thanks Seb!" The only sound left in the shop was the thumps from the vent as you made your way out. He puts a clawed hand over his face as breathes, trying to calm his racing heart.

Your laughs, Your manners, the way you didn't immediately try and insult him. It meant more than you thought. He takes a deep breath and sighs, running his hand through his hair. He promised himself he wouldn't get attached, wouldn't grow crushes. But everytime he thinks of you, he smiles like an idiot in love. Oh well...

Sorry this is really short! (at least to my standards) my brain refuses to work apparently, so I forced it. Also sorry if it's shit. I'm tired. 😔

[a11eya]

BAKUGOU KATSUKI: MASTERLIST

MULTI-CHAPTER

lights will guide you home (27.1K) (IN-PROGRESS)

Soul-lights aren’t as common in this day and age as they were in the past, before quirks, but they’re common enough that people do still find their soulmates. At thirteen, you meet Bakugou Katsuki, and he lights up for you in orange and gold. You tell him he's your soulmate. He sneers and tells you that you aren't his. He makes your adolescence miserable until you part ways. You meet again as adults, late at night, in a grocery store, over a pile of bok choy. He apologizes for how he treated you when you were children. (In which you have a choice—to reject Bakugou's apology, reject him, or to let him show you the man he's become, to learn with him what it means to love and forgive.)

do you still think about me? (13.6K) (COMPLETED)

Okay, so you had the biggest, most embarrassing crush on Bakugou when you were both in high school. He was kind of your first love, if you believe in those kinds of things. But you got over it. It's fine. You see Bakugou sometimes at hangouts, at get-togethers. He's in your orbit, or you're in his, because of your mutual friends. You're all adults now, so it's fine. It's a little weird, but fine. You're supposed to be on vacation, at a place that's hours away from Musutafu. You're not sure what you've done to deserve it, but Bakugou's here too. And instead of both of you pretending the other doesn't exist, as usual, he's talking to you. He's everywhere. It's fine. (It's not fine.)

ONESHOTS

unfiltered (2.6K)

Bakugou's hot, smart, a literal hero, and best of all, he's the best roommate you've ever had. Sure he's grumpy a lot of the time and he's a terror if you're too loud after he's gone to bed, but he cooks! He cleans!! Who can blame you for developing a little crush on him? You've managed to keep it under wraps for the better part of a year. It's just your luck that the day you're hit by a quirk that removes your brain to mouth filter is the day Bakugou breaks routine. He comes home a little too early from the gym in a tight black compression shirt that's made its way into several of your fantasies, and instead of saying hello, you blurt out— “Fuck, you’re so hot.”

FICLETS AND IDEAS

cologne (250 words)

you come home smelling like todoroki.

it's you (405 words)

bakugou's never been with anyone before. he asks you to show him how.

in a new light, pt. 2 (374, 124 words)

buying his magazine spread was supposed to be a joke. you didn't intend to catch feelings.

treasure (332 words)

you catch a glimpse of a human warrior in your forest, one with yellow hair and red eyes. he's yours, you decide. he's perfect.

exercise (172 words)

bakugou likes to work out to the sound of your voice.

playful (121 words)

his face fits in the palm of your hand so nicely.

start something (203 words)

bakugou likes to sleep shirtless most nights.

number one fan (196 words)

you're a big fan of pro hero dynamight.

enchanted (204 words)

he's human. you're not. he's off limits.

check me out (188 words)

bakugou is an absolute menace once he catches you checking him out.

sunscreen (227 words)

bakugou takes care of you on vacation.

coffee cake (525 words)

you've had a little crush on the coffee shop owner next door for a while now.

saltwater (418 words)

bakugou doesn't like when people look at you at the beach.

tease (407 words)

bakugou makes you finish what you started.

devotion (318 words)

every day, bakugou shows you how much he loves you.

[bitchfitch]

My mother's bf had a fairly major surgery (he's fine and recovering well DW) and he's going to be housebound for his birthday this year, so I've been enlisted to come up with a fancy birthday meal for the special birthday boy that's primarily fruit and veg, sweeter than savory, and is something he's never had before.

Bc I'm making watermelington. It's beef Wellington, but watermelon. bc my mom only found out recently you can use watermelon as a tuna substitute. And I know that you can substitute most higher quality beef cuts with tuna or salmon.... usually. Anyways the idea fascinates her so I'm hoping to use that for bonus points.

Now he's off his ass on pain killers so I can't like. Ask him if he's ever had something before. so to meet my brief I've decided to just. commit a novel hate crime against the British I guess.

Anyways. I'm writing this because I need to walk myself through this process and think it'll be surreal enough to be worth taking y'all along for.

So, Beef Wellington. In its most basic bitch arrangement is a beef tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto/really thin bacon, with a layer of mushroom and onion mush, that has been further wrapped in mustard slathered puff pastry.

We will be ship of Theseusing this. bc beef Wellington is like. the opposite of what he wants. Which is why it's funny.

Puff pastry-> it's still just puff pastry

this one doesn't have to change (aka I can't be fucked to do pastry prep and I'm just gonna use store bought it's Fine.)

the prosciutto is also just going to be prosciutto.

Thin meat

Beef tenderloin-> watermelon,

Tbh this is a pretty 1 to 1 substitution. I'll bake the slices at like. 250-300 for an hour or so ahead of the rest of prep to dry it out a bit. bc you can't like. Sear watermelon to seal in the water like you can beef. By definition it's a very wet fruit (like me when I fall into the lake). Ill Add salt and chili and lime juice while baking maybe. this is the easy part

The mushroom mush-> salsa done bad style

As the word mush implies, this is meant to be a very soft mix. It adds a lot of nuttiness to the wellington that rounds out all of the salt from the meats. I'm replacing it with white person salsa(the birthday boy can't handle spice). Tomato, lime juice, parsley, avocado, cucumber, feta, and maybe mango so I can have an excuse to have a lil mango treat. I said I wasn't making it spicy. I'm still putting a bit of chili in it. bc it'll be better like that. This is also a ridiculously wet bit of mush, Even the original mushrooms have too much water. I'll figure something out.

Mustard -> jelly

He lives in a big city. those preserve sections are massive. I'll find a weird one. maybe apricot.

Prep:

We're in the mind palace kitchen, I have not attempted any of this. We're just thinking real hard about it and I'll edit as needed on the day and post results.

The watermelon

Preheat oven to eh. 300f? We want low and slow to dry things out without it taking a year. but idk what his oven is like. If it's gentle I'll bump it up another ten-twenty.

Slather some watermelon slices in salt chili powder and lime juice mixture.

bake for 30 min on a wire rack or directly on the oven racks (after cleaning thoroughly) if he doesn't have a wire rack. with a drip try underneath to catch the drippage. check frequently. Have one slice that's for being poked to see if it's approaching being meat. Bake longer if needed.

Salsa bad style

chop everything up and add it to a pan with some oil in it. Tbh I don't think the type of oil you use for cooking matters if you're not like, getting near any smoke points. Most people can't tell the difference unless you made your food bland as hell.

Anyways there's some wildly different moisture contents on the list so there has to be an Order to cook off as much water as possible without getting yucky.

Tomatoes and cucumbers go in together with some salt to get the cucs softening, then the mango chunks and lime juice. Once most of the water is gone the avocado feta and parsley can go in. There is a good amount of water in avocados but they're delicate and don't pan fry well, so we're just going to ignore their water crimes and hope for the best. They just need to be evenly mixed through the rest of the mush.

Putting it together

lay out the puff pastry, cut into sections to wrap each watermelon slice individually with.

Slather in jam

Take the prosciutto and lay it out on half of each section of the pastry,

spoon the salsa onto that

Melon

Another layer of salsa

another layer of thin meat

Fold the pastry over the top and pinch the edges bc watermelon slices are not a rollable shape and I don't want to carve a watermelon into a tube for this because that sounds irritating.

Brush with egg wash and more parsley

Cook in oven following the pastry's preferred temp and time. it's fucking watermelon, you're not getting ecoli from it.

watermelington :)

I'm serving it with baked sweet potatoes and spinach based salad with whatever toppings are left over from making the salsa.

anyways thank you for joing me on this thought experiment. I will post updates once the deed is done. I'm sorry to every British person ever.

[lokis-army-77]

Premium Air

mondern!Eddie Munson x fem reader

Word Count: 1.1k

It's a few days after April Foos, Eddie isn't expecting you to pull a koke but you have something up your sleve.

Warning: noting! unless you count cursing

Thank you to my beta readers @munson-blurbs and @lofaewrites

Masterlist

You loved seeing the harmless little pranks that people would play on their significant others on social media and with April first already behind you, you knew Eddie wouldn’t suspect a thing. 

It was a bright Wednesday afternoon, you were at Robin's for a much needed girls day when you decided to put your little prank into action. 

"Hey, Rob, you wanna watch as I give Eddie a mini heart attack?" You ask as you wiggle into a more comfortable position on her couch.

"Oh my god, yes!" She excitedly shuffles over to you, leaning her whole body over your right side. 

You're both a giggling mess when you send the first text message. 

Hey, so my tire pressure light just came on, do I need to go have it checked?

It takes a few minutes but he eventually responds.

Is it still driving alright? 

Bring it to the shop when you get home from Robs, I'll fill it up before I leave work.

Yeah, it's driving just fine. The screen says it's my front passenger side tire.

You'll be fine to drive back home, I'll fill it up then, baby.

You leave it be for around thirty minutes as you and Robin think of what you should say next.

So Robin said I should go get it checked out and we were worried I wouldn't be able to drive all the way to your shop so I came to the one by her house.

I didn't know air was so expensive 😫. 

It was no more than a second later that your phone started to ring in your hands. Eddie's contact photo lighting up the screen. You swiped it away and you could feel Robin beginning to silently laugh 

Sweetheart, answer the phone.

Another call that you decline.

What do you mean expensive? Answer your phone!!!

Don't worry, Eds, the guy gave me a good deal! I think it's bc he thought I was pretty.

What do you mean by a good deal? Sweetheart, how much did you pay?

You and Robin can hardly contain your laughter. Tears are running down your faces. 

"I feel so bad, but it's so funny!" You cry. 

Robin nods along, "Don't, it's totally hilarious." She wipes her tears away and points at your phone, "Don't acknowledge those questions yet, say something about how he didn't notice the pretty comment."

You get to typing, fingers gliding over the keyboard.

Wow, I would have thought you'd be upset at another man...

Baby ,that is the last thing I'm worried about. HOW. MUCH. DID. YOU. PAY.

Well he said it was like premium air so it was on the more expensive end but apparently it won't seep out as fast as regular air.

You can see the read receipt and the three little dots as he begins to type. Your heart is beating wildly in your chest as the typing stops and he calls you again only for you to ignore it once more. 

Robin is beside you, howling as she holds her stomach. "This is the best thing I have EVER witnessed in my life!"

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, ANSWER YOUR PHONE. HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND? BECAUSE PREMIUM AIR ISN'T REAL

So the guy said it's usually 250 for all 4 but he said he'd give me a deal and give me all 4 for the price of 3... is that not how much it usually is?

You need to tell me what shop you're at. Are you still there? Put me on the phone with this fucking guy

Eddie, I'm not putting you on the phone with him.

Sweetheart, why in the world would you take your car to someone else??? I'm literally a mechanic. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FREE!! 

Are you mad at me?

No, I'm not mad at you baby. I just need you to put me on the phone with the shop owner or someone, anyone. Air in all 4 tires is never gonna be over like 5 bucks...

I told you I'd take care of it, why didn't you just listen 

You almost double over, laughing harder than before. You could tell you were stressing him out, that he was trying to keep from freaking out. 

"Oh my god!" You cackle, "I think it's time to break it to him or else he might actually have a heart attack or maybe an aneurysm. 

Eddie calls you one last time and this time, you answer, sushing Robin as you press the speaker button. 

"Thank fuck, Sweetheart, put me on the phone with the asshole that scared you." His face was gruff, the growl of irritation bringing a shiver lust down your spine. 

"Eddie, baby, calm down." 

"I'll calm down when I get you your money back," he huffs. You can hear the sounds of his shop muffled through the speaker. 

You can't help the giggle that slips past your lips when you make eye contact with Robin. 

"This is not funny," he stresses. 

The giggles continue to bubble up, "I know I know, but I can't help it. I love you so much."

"I love you too, now please let me talk to the guy, I really don't wanna ask again." 

Robin takes your phone at that point, clearing her throat and proceeding to do her best impression of a blue collar man.

"Hey, this is Rodger, at you just got pranked garage, how can I help you?"

"Yeah, you can help me, I-" Eddie stops mid sentence. 

You've got your hand covering your mouth as you try, and fail, to cover your chortles.

"Wait a second... Robin?" All the building anger in his voice disappears as he slowly realizes what's happening.

Robin begins wheezing as you grab your phone back, "We got you!" You gleefully exclam into the phone.

"We got you good!" Robing teeters back on her legs, almost falling from the couch.

You can hear the shaky sigh of relief fron the receiver on the other end. "Thank God. Baby you had me going crazy over here. I was about to drive to every garage in town to find you."

"I'm so so so sorry, baby. I really am but we didn't do anything for April fools like we usually do and I just knew you wouldn't be expecting this."

Eddie lets out the longest sigh of relief you've ever heard. "Shit, sweetheart, I'm getting too old for these pranks."

"You're 35." You deadpan.

"And it's all down hill from here."

You can't see it but you know he has a shit eating grin on and you roll your eyes. "I'll make it up to you when I get home."

"You better."

[verstarppen]

pairing; lando norris x fem! star wars actress! reader [ no faceclaim ] a/n; sorry for not posting i was planning the funeral for max's winning streak and mourning please excuse me ALSO THANK YOU FOR 250 FOLLOWERS I WOULD DIE FOR YOU ALL [ series masterlist ]

liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 983,212 others

yndeathtrooper escaped the after party for a walk

view all 277,322 comments

spookyscaryscuderia the only people on earth who will leave THE EMMYS for a CHICKEN WRAP

alex_albon My invite didn't arrive it's fine guys

danielricciardo Mine neither yndeathtrooper pay the bill alex_albon YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE yndeathtrooper BITCH YOU TOO

astongoatin i'm obsessed with them help me

verstappler DAMN IT the after party pics would've gone hard

monte_carlos_55 live laugh love y/nlando

liked by yn.jpg, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 667,389 others

lando.jpg january

view all 238,982 comments

oscarpiastri Oh the honor of being on a lando.jpg post

lando.jpg enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, mate

haas_shaker THE CAMERA PERSON???

sunbathepapaya the note :((((((((

wafflemango I can't believe I lived to witness Y/nlando make cookies live, what a time to be alive

maxmaxmaxsuper When was this?? What happened?? wafflemango Powder fight, choking on batter, Lando cut his finger THROUGH a strawberry, the oven gave out and they had to call the owner of the guest house because it wouldn't turn on. BUT THEY SURVIVED and apparently it tasted good maxmaxmaxsuper I'm convinced these people are not real

481_landoscar Everyone please pray for Oscar Piastri. He's not dead, just third wheeling.

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo, pascalispunk and 4,592,102 others

starwars Something is coming. Something dark.

Meet # MorganElsbeth , # ShinHati and  # HeraSyndulla. Experience the two-episode premiere of @ AhsokaOfficial, a Star Wars Original series, streaming August 23 only on @ DisneyPlus.

view all 953,217 comments

pearlyricciardo ok but is y/n in those two episodes because im not watching otherwise

loleclerc y/n and lando did more marketing for this than any official account 💀💀

danielricciardo But will you be watching them with the star of the show? That's what I thought.

yndeathtrooper holy shit you're watching ahsoka with lars mikkelsen? danielricciardo I wish.

liked by yndeathtrooper, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 281,322 others

mclaren Not long now, boys.⏳

view all 29,004 comments

yndeathtrooper ay who's the guy on the right he's kinda cute

landonorris did you see this in a mirror like?? yndeathtrooper who are you

bellanorris CAN'T WAIT

sugarussell LET'S GO BOYS

stappenlover lando first win this year i'm calling it

liked by yn.jpg, lando.jpg, maxverstappen1 and 119,902 others

daniel3.jpg Took my kids shopping

view all 80,330 comments

yn.jpg thank you father

daniel3.jpg Please don't call me that lando.jpg ur daughter calls me daddy too daniel3.jpg Why would you tell me this

maxverstappen1 Did you get me the yogurt

yn.jpg yes sir 🫡 lando.jpg don't """"sir"""" this loser maxverstappen1 You can repeat that after you pass me yn.jpg LMAOOOOOOO

liked by georgerussell63, oscarpiastri, mclaren and 1,808,644 others

yndeathtrooper bye cool hotel sorry for the broken headboard

view all 987,555 comments

goosestappen you broke what

typicallyleclerc YOU CAN'T WATERBOARD THIS INFORMATION OUT OF ME Y'ALL ARE STRONGER FR

chewie_gum mOOOM Y/N AND LANDO ARE BEING WILD ON SOCIAL MEDIA AGAIN

solorgana GET IT GET IT GET IT

landonorris i am speed

yndeathtroopers you're so funny landonorris i know mclaren We wish you were. landonorris what the fuck

pic credits: instagram and pinterest

taglist: @justdreamersdream @cha-hot @dl-yum @minkyungseokie @allywthsr (taglist is open!)

[irisintheafterglow]

what if all i need is you? (college bsf!suguru x you)

summary: after failed attempts to find a date to a relative's birthday party, your best friend acts as your fake boyfriend.

wc: 2.8k

cw/tags: fake dating, best friends to lovers, first kiss, implied fem!reader but no specific pronouns used (wears makeup and heels), swearing, mentions of drinking and smoking, reader is kinda mean at the beginning but they're just stressed, satoru being satoru

note: back on my suguru bullshit! hope you enjoy :))

likes, replies, and reblogs are appreciated <33

“You remember the plan?”

“Yep, I had it down the third and fourth times you repeated it.” You send him a glare out of the corner of your vision, carefully pulling the mascara wand up across your lashes. The dim car lights weren’t the ideal environment to finish getting ready, but whatever time you could waste out here was time you didn’t have to spend at the party. 

“It’s all there. $250, like we agreed,” you say without looking at him as he flips through the stack of money from the yellow package hiding in the glove compartment. “I’m not giving you more, so don’t ask.”

“Wasn’t going to,” he reassures you, watching as you tensely tap fine glitter onto the inner corners of your eyes and spread it over your cheekbones. He inhales and you already anticipate what he was going to say. “You know, I really shouldn’t be taking your money–”

“I don’t care that you don’t want the money, Suguru. It makes me feel better, so please, shut up and take it,” you state for what felt like the tenth time. He sighs in defeat, eyeing you like you were a tiger pacing around a cramped cage in a zoo. Having your best friend go with you as your fake date to a relative’s birthday party both complicated and simplified things at the same time, which made you all the more tense for what might happen. 

Date me for a month and earn $250! No commitment, no long-term relationships! Call me at (XXX) XXX-XXX for more info! is what the flyers that you stuck to the bulletin boards around campus proclaimed. It was a last-ditch effort to find a date to your grandmother’s cousin’s birthday party and a direct result of your family being too curious about your dating life in college. The plan was simple, in your head. You would find a random person to pretend to date for a month, bring them to the party, and then break up with them a week later. No harm done and no questions asked, right?  

“Any takers on that dating flyer yet?” 

“No,” you groan, letting your forehead hit the desk with a dull thud. It was harder than you thought it would be to find someone to act as your fake boyfriend. “All they want is sex or to negotiate a higher pay. They think I’m a hooker or a trust fund baby, I guess.”

“I can confirm that you are neither of those things,” he chuckles from the other side of the line. “Unless, you have some news to tell me.” You snort and shake your head, taking notice of the darkness outside your window. It must have been hours since you first started your phone call with Suguru and forced him to help you through a homework assignment, and the rumbling in your stomach was becoming a little more insistent. 

“Shit. It’s late, so I’ll let you go. Sorry for keeping you for so long.” You start to tidy the various study sheets and highlighters scattered across your desk, carefully straightening the polaroid of you, Suguru, Satoru, and Shoko on the day of your high school graduation. “Thanks for helping me, even though I’m gonna forget all of this in a few hours.”

“I don’t mind teaching you again. Have you eaten yet? Because I’m starving.” The rumbling in your stomach becomes more of a growl at the mere mention of food and you silently curse him for reminding you that all you had in the cupboard was instant noodles. “If you say no and then proceed to make those sodium bombs you call food, I’m gonna hit you with an inflatable mallet.”

“Okay,” you reply. “Then, I won’t tell you.”

“Smartass,” he mutters and you hear the clinking of his car keys being grabbed from off the hook above his desk. “I’ll be there in ten. Grab a jacket; it’s chilly out.” Twenty minutes later, you’re bundled up in a hole-in-the-wall ramen shop near campus, barely able to eat from sheer anxiety. It was a shitty situation you’d found yourself in and the only way to get through it unscathed would be to disappear off the face of the planet. Your best friend seems to notice you poke at your noodles with your chopsticks and sets down his pair with a determined look. “Alright, what’s bothering you?” You shrug and avoid his eyes, leaning back into the dark corner of the booth. 

“Nothing,” you mumble and he raises a skeptical eyebrow. “I’m just stressed about this stupid party thing.”

“Remind me why you need a date for this in the first place?”

“My grandma’s cousin is super old. Like, one foot in the grave old,” you state plainly and some water shoots out of Suguru’s nose as he tries to cover a laugh. “I’m serious! I’ve never known her and, from what I can gather, no one really likes her anyways.” You hand him a clean napkin with a small, amused smile while he continues to cough uncontrollably, humming at the small thank you he manages to choke out. “But, my family wants me to at least act like I have a boyfriend for the night so she can have peace of mind.” You give him a knowing look and it takes him a few seconds to put the pieces together.

“Wait, your family wants you to pretend to have a boyfriend so your grandma’s cousin can die at peace?” You nod slowly and his face contorts into something like horror and shock, unsure of whether to laugh or feel sorry for you. “Shit. Sorry, I mean–”

“No, it’s okay,” you giggle. “You can laugh. It’s fucking ridiculous. To be fair, they just told me to find a boyfriend. They didn’t specify how long we had to be together.”

“And that’s why you put the flyers up,” he concludes, “to hire someone to play your boyfriend for the night.” You nod again and he shakes his head. “You’re out of your mind.” Your jaw drops in indignance and you threaten to drop an ice cube in his ramen in retaliation.

“I think it’s a pretty smart idea,” you argue.

“What if the guy catches feelings?”

“Sucks for him. I’m not paying him to fall in love with me,” you reply bluntly and Suguru shakes his head in disbelief. “What? Is what I’m doing wrong? I’m only seeing it as a business transaction, plain and simple.”

“A business transaction that hasn’t actually transacted yet, and the party is when?” You feel your face start to heat in embarrassment. He made a good point.

“Tomorrow,” you mumble. “The party’s tomorrow night.” 

“See? There’s no way you’re gonna find someone good enough in time.” 

“Well, what do you propose I do? Skip it entirely and kill the old lady early?”

“That’s definitely not what I was suggesting,” he corrects. “What if you just…took me instead?” You freeze, a little shocked by his idea. It was true that a certain amount of attraction existed in you towards your best friend, something that you swore never to act on for fear of losing his friendship. You never bothered asking if he felt the same because you knew him too well; you knew how he was around girls he liked, even though the last one was when you both were in high school. Sure, it was possible that he started liking you once you started college, just like you noticed him in a different light during your first semester. But either way, you were resigned to letting the feelings come and go as they usually did. Except, the feelings hadn’t left for three years. “Are you silent because you’re mortified or silent because you’re thinking it over?”

“A little bit of both,” you admit.

“How so?”

“You do know my family has been wanting us to get together for years now, right?” An unreadable look passes over Suguru’s face, a look that you can’t decipher even after knowing him for so long. 

“I’m well aware. Your parents have pulled me aside several times trying to pass along family heirlooms to use when I inevitably get on one knee.” Your eye twitches and you make a mental reminder to scold your family when you see them next. “But why is that an issue?” Truthfully, it wasn’t that much of an issue if you set aside your own feelings. Having Suguru there meant that he already knew the dynamics of your family, how to handle your relatives, and had a general grasp of what to expect at the party. It simplified things, but your own harbored feelings complicated any thought of acting like a couple. It would feel too real and you knew how much it would hurt when the clock struck midnight and you went back to being friends. That’s a little too much to unpack over ramen, though. 

“I just don’t want them making you uncomfortable,” is what you settle with telling him. Something like disappointment blinks across his face, but disappears just as fast as it comes. It’s replaced with a wry smile, one that makes your head fuzzy and stomach bubbly. 

“They won’t. My only focus is you,” he promises before launching into a new conversation about his latest biochem project. Now, ten minutes after your heels crossed the threshold of the front door, Suguru was doing a little too good of a job of only focusing on you. Even though the music of the venue blares and there’s enough family and friends to stampede you like poor Mufasa in the Lion King, Suguru doesn’t seem to care about any of it. He falls into his role as your ‘boyfriend’ as easily as the last piece of a puzzle being maneuvered into place, holding your hand with a steady grip, then snaking it around your waist, and sending you fond smiles when nobody's watching. Your parents are delighted, to say the least, and drag him away from you at the first available moment. You settle in a corner of the ballroom with a small plate of pickings from the dessert table and wait for him to return from his interrogation with your parents. 

“It’s about time you two got together,” a familiar, sing-songy voice says quietly from over your shoulder and you flinch, instinct telling you to stab him with your ornate plastic fork. You turn and find your other best friend wearing a tie and a shit-eating grin, tucking a silver hors d'oeuvres tray under a lanky arm.

“Satoru! What the fuck are you doing here?” You glance around to see if anyone has noticed you recognizing a random waiter and, thankfully, everyone is too engrossed in gossiping about your fake boyfriend for the night.

“I’m Suguru’s backup just in case things go south,” he drawls and you pinch the bridge of your nose with two fingers. “Here to cause a scene if something goes wrong.”

“You’re here to sabotage my relative’s birthday party?”

“Here to potentially sabotage your relative’s birthday party.” He sticks up his index finger in emphasis and you groan, rolling your eyes and popping another small brownie into your mouth. He copies you, plucking a cupcake from your plate and swallowing it in one bite. “I gotta say, it took you long enough. I’ve been in agony watching this entire thing pan out.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Are you high?”

“Not right now, no, but maybe later.” He shoots you a grin even though you know full and well none of you smoke. “I’m just saying that I’m happy you’ve finally realized your feelings for each other.” 

“What feelings? There’s no feelings,” you lie straight through your teeth and he sees through it like glass. 

“I may be stupid, but I’m not blind. If you don’t see that Suguru likes you back, then you’re the one with vision problems. Sucks for you.” He shrugs and you flick his arm lightly, glaring daggers at him but unable to fight down the curiosity poking at the back of your mind. 

“You think he actually likes me back?”

“He’s liked you since senior year, idiot,” he scoffs like your question was a funny joke. “I’m not here to fill in if he gets food poisoning from the questionable shrimp cocktail; I’m here to support either of you if your feelings get in the way and your dumbasses can’t communicate efficiently.” 

“That’s…really thoughtful of you, Satoru,” you mutter and he raises one eyebrow teasingly. 

“Wasn’t my idea. It was Suguru’s. ‘In case something happens and they’re not comfortable with me taking them home, for whatever reason.’ That’s what he made me promise and why I’m pretending to be a waiter for the night.” His attention darts upward to his best friend approaching your table and he pats your shoulder encouragingly. “Speaking of. Go get your man.”

“I hate you, Satoru.”

“Yeah, yeah. Love you too.” He knocks his shoulder against yours before disappearing into the kitchen, on his way to probably steal a bottle from the wine cellar. 

“Uh oh, looks like you’ve found my undercover operative,” he jokes as he sets a drink in front of you and steals a cookie from your plate. 

“Actually, he’s the one who found me. You should fire that guy for blowing his own cover,” you remark and the corner of Suguru’s mouth turns up into a smirk. “It’s nice of you to ask him to be here in case something went wrong.”

“I’m an engineering major. We plan for the worst case scenarios.”

“What’s the best case scenario?” His eyebrows furrow in question but you don’t relent. No turning back now. “What’s the ideal outcome of this situation, besides the money?” He thinks for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek when a slow song starts playing through the loudspeakers. 

“Dance with me,” he replies, holding out his hand for you to take. Way to change the subject. “Please?”

“You’re not getting out of my question.” You let him lead you to the dance floor, trying not to get goosebumps as one of his hands finds your waist and the other laces his fingers with yours. “Why’d you offer to do this with me, anyway?”

“What, dancing? Or coming with you to the party?”

“Second one.” That unreadable look crosses his face again, the same one from the ramen shop when he first brought up being your fake date. It felt like anything he said was just covering up a truth that you both were dancing around; but, something in the air made you want to face that truth tonight.

“Because I’m your friend,” he murmurs and you can’t help feeling a little let down by his answer. You let it show in your face, but he’s avoiding your eyes. “That’s what friends do for each other.” He clears his throat and tries to blow a stray strand of black hair from his face, going deathly still when your own fingers brush it away and tuck it behind his ear.

“We’re just friends?”

“What do you–”

“What if I wanna be more?” His eyes finally snap to meet yours and his pupils are blown wider than you’d ever seen before, deep and dark and staring at you so intensely, you’re glad he’s supporting your waist. His throat bobs as he swallows thickly, his gaze flicking up and down between your eyes and your lips. 

“I don’t wanna mess this up,” he whispers so quietly that you wouldn’t hear it if you weren’t inches away from his face. “I don’t wanna mess up what we have.”

“I don’t think we would be messing it up,” you point out just as softly. “If anything, we’d be making it better.” His thumb comes up to trace the outline of your jaw, sending chills up your spine.

“Are you sure that you want this with me?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be sure?”

“I don’t know, because I feel like I don’t deserve you and–”

“Okay, stop talking,” is the last thing you say before you tilt your head up to press your lips against his. You’re careful and frustratingly gentle, giving him ample opportunity to pull away and reject you. But, to your delight, he kisses back with more fervor than you, like he’d been waiting for years to experience this feeling. He sighs into your mouth as you grab the collar of his button up and pull him even closer, his hands holding firm at your waist until you pull away to breathe. 

“Make sure you take down those flyers once we’re back on campus,” he breathes into your ear. You let your eyes flutter shut and hum in assent, leaning your head against his. 

“Why do you bring them up?”

“Because your fake boyfriend just got promoted to real boyfriend.” You initially dismiss the single click and bright flash as the photo booth serving its clients, but are also equally unsurprised when Suguru meets you outside your 9:00 A.M with a Polaroid between his fingers of you two dancing at the party. And the caption?

First kiss! (Taken by Gojo Satoru, ultimate wingman)

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[sleepymarimo]

𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕗𝕦𝕟!

summary: for an upcoming fall festival, you and a fellow crew mate get paired up for some fun! pairing(s): east blue gang!! luffy x gn!reader, zoro x gn!reader, nami x gn!reader, usopp x gn!reader, sanji x gn!reader can be platonic or romantic, up to you! cw: none! just some fall and halloween themed fluff. short but sweet. wc: about 250 for each an: fluff!!!

luffy and usopp are arm in arm, engaging in a small and upbeat dance and chanting. "festival, festival!"

there's a soft breeze in the air, shaking the trees and causing leaves of red and orange and yellow to fall onto the deck of the going merry. it had been a couple of days since the ship had docked on an autumn island, where a huge fall festival was underway. the citizens were dressed in all sorts of costumes, clearly taking this celebration seriously.

from your spot on the railing, you observe the scene with a small chuckle. there was never a dull moment with this crew...

the ever eager captain is about to run off, when nami grabs him and pulls him back. "hold on!" she huffs, knowing he'd be reckless. "let's split up into groups. otherwise someone will get into trouble-" she glares at luffy. "-or lost." she gives a pointed look to zoro, who clicks his tongue and looks away.

sanji exits from the kitchen, swooning over the auburn-haired navigator and throwing a soft smile your way. "nami-swan is right." he concurs, taking a second to exhale a puff of smoke. "there are six of us, so groups of two should be fine... so long as luffy and the stupid swordsman don't get paired up."

a vein ticks on zoro's forehead and it isn't long before the two are exchanging blows.

usopp, already on it, runs up to you with two cups. in each, there are bundled pieces of paper. "one cup has our names and the other has costumes!" he explains, quite proud of himself. "go for it!"

thanking the sniper, you reach both hands out and blindly place them into each of the cups, shuffling the pieces of paper around until you pulled out two of them.

unwrapping the crumpled notes, you reveal who your festival buddy is...

luffy

the ever enthusiastic captain strolls by your side, your hand holding his in order to prevent him from running off and causing trouble without you. it doesn't stop him from trying though, his arm stretching plenty far before you either gently tug him back or simply follow after him.

he's dressed in a onesie of a monkey, while you wear a onesie of an animal of your choice. they provided a nice warmth which beat out the autumnn chill, not to mention that they were ridiculously comfortable.

he calls your name, his hand tightening around yours as his smile grows. "look at that over there! they have apples in those buckets! that's so weird!"

his smile is infectious and you follow along, laughing slightly. "it's an apple bobbing game, luffy." your eyes wander over the large buckets and the shiny apples floating in the water.

the captain's eyes grow wide with amazement. "woah! let's play!"

unfortunately, luffy doesn't seem to get the gist of the game. when he dunks his head under the water, he simply eats the apples whole, not coming up until each one is gone. when he lifts his head out of the water, all the apples are visibly bulging from his throat before he swallows them all in one gulp.

he gives you a beaming grin while you stare at him with widened eyes and a single apple in your mouth. peering at your bucket, still full of apples, he laughs and wraps his arms around you. "are you gonna eat those?"

zoro

the swordsman grumbles something about needing a drink, adjusting his cowboy hat before glancing at you with a smirk. "nice tail, bessie." "oh, so original." you'd retort, adjusting your tail and ears. the costumes that were chosen for you were a cow and cowboy, but he wasn't going to be caught dead wearing something so silly. "i think an actual cow could've come up with better." he mutters inaudible words, turning away as his brows furrowed. finally, the two of you get to a neighborhood consisting of only haunted houses. zoro had insisted that he didn't want to waste time on kiddy games or petting zoos, instead wanting something more entertaining- some adrenaline. he also wanted to see you get a little spooked, or rather, he wanted to be there to protect you.

none of the jumpscares pull a reaction from him, but he never failed to tense when you'd yell "boo!" right at the end of every haunted house. he'd just glare at you.

the last house has caution tape lining the entrance and appears to be in disarray, with almost no other people. "this is the worst one yet." he'd grumble, kicking away what he thought was a bloody knife prop on the ground. it isn't until you both look up and see detectives and officers that you realize that it's an actual murder scene. the knife? evidence. he doesn't wait another second before scooping you into his arms and hightailing it out of there.

later, he does in fact accidentally wander into a corn maze. it's up to you to bring him back.

nami

"nami, i'm pretty sure it's supposed to be 'trick or treat'." you muse, watching her swing a much too heavy bag over her shoulder. your own candy bag is already almost full, even though it's only your fifth house.

the sneaky navigator only smiles and tosses her hair back, adjusting your cat ears before fixing up her witch hat. a witch and her cat, how cute! "i like to call it 'treat or treat'" she replies. "either they give me something good... or i just take it anyway."

her bravado never ceased to amaze you, her confidence and wit shining through with everything she did. you can't exactly say that you're not under her alluring spell.

stepping up to the next house, you follow her instructions and make yourselves look even more tempting to the poor soul that is about to be swindled out of their cash and candy.

by the end of the night, nami is counting up all the berries between the two of you. your head rests on her lap and you eat candy while your eyes take in the dark night sky and the multitide of stars.

"not bad!" she concludes, her eyes sparkling with joy as she looks between you and the cash. "i'm gonna need you to join me more often!"

her words have you smiling. time with the navigator was always a pleasure. "no problem. i think i like 'treat or treat' way better."

usopp

"did i ever tell you about the time i carved an award winning pumpkin?" the sniper proudly boasts (lies). the two of you were sat on some hay bales, dressed in pretty convincing scarecrow costumes and carving some pumpkins you had picked earlier.

to make it all the more immersive, you were sat right by a corn field. perfect for some scary scarecrows!

you adjust your grip on your carving tool, feigning amazement. your eyes flicker to him and you sound impressed, egging him on. "yeah? what was the carving of? it had to be something super cool, right?"

he laughs awkwardly for a second, trying to buy some time as he shifted from his spot next to you. a hand comes to his collar and he tugs on it. "w-well you see... it was, um..." his eyes sweep the surrounding field and festival, trying to come up with something. he brightens up when he spots haunted houses in the distance.

"i-it was a haunted house!" he says, his confidence returning as he held his carving tool to the sky. "no, a haunted mansion!"

a smile curls at your lips and you let out a laugh as you finish up your carving. "did you get a trophy? a metal?"

he nods, mischief twinkling in his eyes. "i did, but i donated it to charity-"

a child screams, using one hand to point at the two of you while the other tightly gripped their mother's hand. "mommy, there are haunted scarecrows!"

usopp also screams, head whipping back to find the so called monster scarecrows- completely oblivious to the fact that you were the scarecrows. "where?!"

you just laugh. "i dunno about haunted scarecrows, but i definitely see a clown..."

sanji

the cook's hands were delicately grabbing onto your waist, holding you steady as you stood on a small stool and reached up for some apples. the fruits looked divine, the orchards having more than enough to go around.

the red of the apples contrasted with the white fabric of your costume- an angel. you'd pulled the costumes of angel and devil, with sanji insisting that you take the former.

everything was ripe and ready to be picked. sanji guided you with a genuine smile, his expert gaze able to discern which apples were best. "the one on the left, mon ange." he says, cigarette smoke floating from his mouth and up to the devil horns on his head. "it's more full."

nodding, you get on your tip toes and reach up to grab the apple. "got it." you affirm, giving him a smile as you place the apple into his palm.

he places it in the basket and extends an arm for you to grab onto as you made your way off the small stool. his heart swells when you keep your arm linked in his, even as the two of you head back to the ship. keeping a firm grip on the basket full of apples, he glances at you.

"so, mon ange, what do you want me to make you first?" he asks. "apple cider? apple pie? anything."

you return his gaze and offer a content smile, humming as you thought about all the possibilities. he was much too kind, and you can't help but think that he should've been the angel...

[sxcret-garden]

P1Harmony ღ Giving them head [M]

ღ P1Harmony Keeho, Theo, Jiung, Intak x gn!reader ღ words: ~250 per member ღ genre: smut reaction ღ reader: no description of anatomy, no pronouns used ღ warnings: (mentions of them running their hands through reader’s hair)

Author’s note: lowkey inspired by a piece i rb’d a few days ago~

Keeho:

he gets soooo into it

blushes immediately once his dick is in your mouth, like this guy could just drown in the feeling

lets you do whatever you want to him so long as you’re sucking him off, but definitely gets needy too

the type to grab you by your hair and thrust into your mouth if you let him, like, he could get himself off solely by fucking your face over and over again

any position is fine for him too - whether it’s having you on your knees for him while he’s standing up, or you hovering above him while he’s comfortably laying down in bed

and the whines!!! he’ll sound sooo pretty for you, and if you dare edge him in this position he might even shed a tear or two

however, there’s also days where he’s feeling a little more dominant

then he’ll definitely start out more cool-headed

will tease you a bit and guide you into the position he wants, might even make you watch him stroking himself for a while, before telling you to get to work

a bit bossy if you’re into that too, but eventually the outcome is the same

no matter how well he keeps his calm at first, once the pleasure begins to overwhelm him, he’ll be putty in your hands… or, well, mouth in this case

could almost cum again when he sees you swallowing, and sometimes he even finds it in himself to get cocky about it, praising you for how well you did for him for swallowing even the last drop

loves cumming all over your face too - something about making a mess out of you just really gets him going all over again

Theo:

likes it but it’s not his favourite way to have sex

definitely enjoys having you suck him off though, and will let you know

curses as he tells you how good you are at this, and he loves looking down at you on your knees for him

also loves cupping your chin with one hand and feeling how he fits inside your mouth

likes fucking your face when he’s feeling up for it, and definitely gets off on the power aspect behind it

cusses some more before he pulls out just before he cums, so he can catch his breath and then keep going for a little longer

that said, he’s also a big believer in 69!!

just imagine him with his face buried between your legs, letting out the sweetest muffled moans because your face is also buried between his legs

he could stay in this position for hours, because he loves tasting you, and him also getting head at the same time is definitely a nice bonus!!

will sometimes switch positions before he cums though, cause he’d rather chase his high while he’s getting you off simultaneously

however, when he does cum in your mouth he’ll let you hear the most sinful moan

tells you he doesn’t mind if you swallow or not, but really he finds it sooo hot to see you do it

will “help” you clean up too by wiping any cum dripping down your chin away with his thumb and then making you suck it off his fingers

you bet once you’re done this guy is already horny again and ready for round 2

Jiung:

definitely enjoys it but rarely asks for it

wants you to be comfortable and to make you feel good as well!! so he’ll have his hand on top of you head and play with your hair or massage your scalp if you like that

not super vocal as in moans, but he will definitely tell you how good you’re making him feel and might praise you as well

leans back and just enjoys what you’re doing to him for the most part and once he’s coming close he might even whimper a little

lasts pretty long actually and will make you change positions if he notices you getting tired (and it’ll turn him on so much if you refuse and insist on making him finish like that)

blushes if you let him cum in your mouth

however sometimes he will stop you primarily because he wants to change positions and as nice as it is to have you give him head, he’d much rather get to have you in a way that will get you off as well

so it’s not rare for him to see receiving oral as merely foreplay, and to keep going in a different position - you sitting in his lap or him on top of you or him returning the favour and giving you head instead

when he does let you suck him off all the way though, be prepared to have him pulling your hair or digging his nails into your flesh as he’s holding onto you the moment his high overwhelms him

doesn’t really care if you swallow or not

but what he does care about is giving back!!

he’ll be sure to get you off in turn after you took care of him, and might even do so tenfold if you can take it

Intak:

another one who just looooves receiving head

and who gets very into it tbh

especially if you smooth him into it, making out with him beforehand and then kissing your way down his body, he will melt into your touch

gets sooo noisy once you touch his cock, like the second you wrap your fingers around it he’ll already be moaning

loves whatever you do to him and would take it any way he can get tbh

feel like teasing the living hell out of him? go for it! edge him? he’ll thank you. just be nice and make him feel good without any games? works for him

he’s such a sucker for you and loses himself in the pleasure sooo easily

most of the time he’ll just let you do your thing and make sure you know how good you’re making him feel by moaning and groaning your name and telling you to please keep going

but once he gets close or especially if you’re teasing him and dragging things out, he’ll become more active

might rake his fingers into your hair, might buck his hips in hopes of fitting more of his length into your mouth

he will behave if you tell him to, but if you enjoy being manhandled a little bit he will also gladly do that

either way, chances are he won’t last long when you’re giving him head, and he’ll let you hear the most beautiful moans, especially if you let him cum in your mouth

whether you swallow or not is entirely up to you of course, he’ll be fine with either… (or of course you could pass his load onto him and make him swallow… he’ll be more than fine with that too…)

[1-49]

bare sugars

╰► that’s my baby, that’s my sugar, i don’t need no honey on the side . . . that’s unconditiona-nal.

pairing: f!reader × jaehyun ⁝ tags: motel. lotta tension. jae likes to show skin lol. history i allude to but never explain sry. short scenario inspired by this teaser photo. diabetes keep away 5k

It ’s a place in between places, on the outskirts of some sunbaked desert town. What began as a hopeful promise, somewhere in the chaos of the last seven days , has faded into obscurity.

When this road trip kicked off, the entire crew was pumped on the : ‘No one’s getting ditched; everyone ’s got to be part of ─── no matter how intense the next adventure gets.’ Yet, here you are , left behind with the one person you were hoping to dodge.

A velvety green sofa sets the scene & the honey glow of golden hour falls on wood - panelled walls ─── Lying on his back , Jaehyun rocks yet another one of his 250+ crumpled print tees, retro lettering in: ‘The Grateful Dead.’ Its fabric hiked up , intentionally or not , giving his casual style a little extra edge.

─── This specific old shade of blue denim jeans, those grey Calvins, the belt that struggles to keep the outfit together ... His belly that just kind of vacuums in whenever it wants ... A plush land really ... The faux freckles on his cheeks which mimic sunflower seeds, and his hair that shines like a field of gold ...

A babe , though the design guilt he wears in his dark eyes remains as you capture yet another moment with your camera.

The two shy cuties in his cheeks and his keys lying abandoned on the pink carpet. His languid binks & perpetually movey lips. His Converse’s loose laces.. The unhurried. The lazy. The slow...

It’s all captured on film & as you pull the camera away from your face, he still keeps an eye on you, not necessarily looking for a reaction but... 

Well, you better... drop that feedback, or things might...

take a turn for the worse... 

And—

And they do... with him tucking his hand under his head & his shirt riding up thoughtlessly even more...

And it’s bad. It’s—It’s like he’s in charge of how you feel and is directing the scene. Like as if he’s your television & there’s no turning him off.

This almost ever so present paradoxical quality to him—a blend of approachability and impenetrability that’s hard to elaborate. Or his lazy attractiveness which simply defies logic: for he’s simultaneously doing nothing and everything, drawing you in completely without lifting a finger.

Or... how these are just a few of the countless reasons why you’ve never asked him to bring you the horizon, or, hell, dared to dream about having him.

Of how the four walls and the door close on you and how looking at him strikes you with a funny fear, making you want to melt deep into the contents of the floor.

Oh, to fuck with that...

-

Gently, you adjust the fine black lace along the hem of your brown silk dress; draw in the fluffy cardigan tighter around you; and to escape the perfect features of his perfect face, you walk up to the window. 

Yet, no matter how hard you search for a way out, the four walls of this claustrophobic room offer little in the way of escape. You’re fucking stuck... Counting your fingers anew whenever gets nothing done, and flipping through the channels on the tiny TV does nothing to clear the monotony. The minutes drag on endlessly, and no matter how many board games you play or photos you take, the clock seems to mock you. Each moment drags as if the world has hit the pause button, leaving you with him in this quiet space.

“Uuggh, coome oooon!” You stomp your feet, looking out the window. “The losers promised they’d be back by six!”

Jaehyun blows a bubble that bursts with a loud snap, grinning at you. “Ummm—You realize promises aren’t really being kept here anymore, right?”

Yeah, right... Fuck promises! You told yourself you wouldn’t get attached to him but look at you now...

Rolling your eyes, you glance out the window again, right as he asks,

“Why? Are you hungry?”

And sure, they were supposed to be the ones bringing the food, but it seems their adventure has taken a detour into yet another town at the end of the world; said, ‘This is what happens when you skip out—So, you two sort it out.’

“Some sweets would be nice. But no, um,” you tensely pull at your cardigan’s sleeves, clenching the ends in your fists. “Are they okay? I’m a little nervous.”

Though all he does is just casually burst another ridiculous bubble...“I’m sure they’re fine.”

Right… So next you’re left to watch him scrape bits of pink gum from his lips, and before you know it, a wave of irritation pulls you back to his side.

You’re barely balanced on the edge of the sofa, aiding in his clumsy efforts. Your thumb brushes against his bottom lip, and the air around him gets to your head just instantly, thick with the sugary scent of the sticky residue that you find yourself obliged to help remove... It’s so sugary that it borders on being revolting! Or perhaps it’s your sweet tooth that’s igniting this feeling?

Silly, cause you feed into this quirky theory that butterflies taste like bubblegum, and now that notion takes on a funny twist, well... considering the butterflies dancing in your stomach.

As you pull your fingers away from his lips, a rush of blood roars in his ears and he quickly adds, “Might have something in my bag, let me see.”

And totally! The bag that somehow collected a ton of pendants during this road trip does sit by the sofa, and with Jaehyun lounging back, stretching his arms overhead to grab it, his shirt gets pulled up even higher, & just like that, it becomes the cause for another thing you wish you never said.

Definitely not the sight you were hoping for... The tee hiked up, way above his ribs, exposing a good portion of his slim waist as he giggles, showing off that boyish grin while rummaging through the bag behind... still looking at you.

The eye contact ****

The fcking gum that just so erratically becomes his plaything, getting relentlessly crushed beneath the pressure of his teeth, repeatedly transforming into a sticky mass that fills his mouth, stressing the rugged contours of his strong jawline...

His fucking belly...

The happy trail...

Godsent personal hell!

Your heart is thumping away in your chest and your ribs aren’t exactly doing much to protect it. The stressed thing seems ready to pop like one of his balloons and leave you in an ever-sticker mess...

“Mmmmm...” he hums, trapping his bottom lip between his teeth and pulling a handful of candies from the bag behind him. “Let’s see what we have.”

Placing each treat onto his stomach as if the world were about to erupt in a frenzy of sugar-fueled chaos, Jaehyun carefully begins to arrange each piece, making sure they’re spaced out just right and sorted into rational portions in case such an outbreak actually happens. In no time, a vibrant array of treats sprawls across him and his funky-ridden shirt, everything from lollipops, chewy gums, gummy bears, and sour candies, to little chocolates.

Imagine a carnival! The flashy colors are super distracting, and those chocolate bars are practically begging you to grab them. Still, you can’t help but tease him a bit to annoy him, specially since you’ve been going back & forth for the past three days.

“Really,” you pout cynically, “You took this many?? You’re such a…”

With a burst of laughter that is hearty & sweet, Jaehyun sends the poor candies resting on the very sides of his waist to tumble down onto the sofa as if that earthquake had REALLY made its presence felt.

“Mmmmm- Why would I want to spend money on fancy treats? Besides...” He spaces out for a bit... then remarks with a smirk, “My theory is basically sweets are sweets.”

And he tightens his lips to seem all serious, but honestly, it just makes everything worse. The dude doesn’t even lift a finger to be funny; it’s like humour just radically appears around him, and the stuff he comes up with...

Poof! A total goof or a creative thinker? It really just comes down to your mood at the time.

You grimace once more, shaking your head at him, and subtly shift your weight to your legs rather than sitting on the sofa, your body ready to leap away at the slightest hint of contact.

With an adorable, surprised expression his eyes grow round as he stares at you, “What!?” His brows shoot up too in effort to justify himself.

“That piñata was there for everyone to go wild and, umm- grab whatever they could!” Lifting his hands defensively, he pouts, “Not my fault!”

Aaaand that fucking shirt of his?

Isss at it againnnn!@#£%^*

Your mind is reeling as the candy mountain spills over in a fun avalanche.

No, because why go through all that trouble to arrange them perfectly just to wreck it himself!?

Yeah,

anyway, you find nothing to match that, indeed it was up to anyone to snatch whatever they wanted, it just looks like he had deeper pockets than the rest of you idiots to stash all that stuff, that’s all there is to it. So you give in to the urge to ‘screw it,’ let out another eye roll, and grab a tiny bag of gummy bears.

-

As if he’s achieved something, Jaehyun’s hands find their way back beneath his head, and the flirtatious smile continues in his eyes. He just basks in the moment until your frustration—the sting of yet another cheeky defeat—causes you to fumble to open the bag and so all the gummy bears go flying everywhere. 

Add chaos?

Check!

Is he into it? 

Also, check.

The pack is but what that piñata was a few days ago, bleeding in beautiful colors and gushing all things sweet.

“Ugghhh!!” Tossing your head back, you groan dramatically.

And understandably so!!! While Jaehyun?

He beams as he sticks his tongue in his cheek, and snatches the empty bag from your hands. He casually spits his spent pink gum inside it, takes a pair of gummies from his abs, and gently runs them against his lips before sliding them in...

And t

And it’s so fucking frustrating that this guy has no clue about the importance of breaking eye contact! You’re always left searching for a word that’s stronger than ‘insufferable,’ but really, the dude just constantly goes all out with everything. Legit! 

It drives you crazy. He—

Munching on them playfully, Jaehyun thinks for a moment, swallows, & then quirks an eyebrow, smirking,

“Wanna hear what the gummies just whispered into my mouth?”

What the gummies have what??

You shake your head at his nonsense but arch a brow back. Because if you had to be honest, those jelly babies aren’t the only thing looking to spill some secrets in his mouth... So, yeah, you’re JUST listening! As a matter of fact, you’re all tuned in to catch what absurdity he’s about to dish out next.

Pushing his lips together, a bratty shape that just begs to be kissed, he sits with his answer. There’s something very precious and terribly frustrating about how he keeps his responses close like they’re the best puns ever. Then he eventually smiles, “Thank you for releasing us.”

........ Woaah, they’ve at least been honest with him! Which is... cool...

Cool! Great! Awesome! You next!

“Mmm-hmm,” for dummies, some skeptical eyes and a cynical head nod are all you have...

When the magnitude of his languid x menacing should be studied!!!

Really, a quirky cotton candy man! A sugar. A delicate toxic substance.

Like, fuck! He—He’s just- unbeatable. 

That’s an overwhelming amount of power for him to have... Like, that’s too much hot... Too much sweet… It’s no good… 

Like-

Like the doses got all jacked up when he was made... Accidentally spilled too much of each, and now he’s just a walking health risk.

Catch it!

-

The disease spreads just like it always has—quickly and definitely. This earthtone babe just knows exactly how to get under your skin.

So hard to resist... So hard to not take a bite...

It’s just how it goes, you know?

Things...

Eyes...

Fingers...

& before you realise it, your fingertips glide past his jeans, over to his skin, igniting a rush of sensations with each line you draw across his abs.

Inevitably, the air gets charged with an energy... that’s not innocent. You feel the sparks. Not the good kind of sparks, but the sinful ones... The—

-

It’s like a dream at first, experiencing the thrill of someone yearning for your touch so badly.

Jae is every bit as tough as he looks, but the moment your fingers brush against him, that narrative shifts entirely. It feels like he’s been craving your touch, and those days without it have been an unbearable! fucking! stretch!

Gentle, sensual skin, a supremely royal shade of luxury milk. Everything that’s connected with a beautiful sweet, sweet & touching is associated with him. 

He’s just spot on! And your stomach is growling. And you’re looking for a bite to eat...

In fact, you’re so down bad, your sweet tooth’s at an all-time high; honestly, you’d probably go as far as to start licking him right now.

In a straight line? Curved? In any manner that sparks your creativity? Anything real—

...The hot transference from his skin onto your hand? The way he teases his lip!?? The way he shyly and discreetly raises his hips against your touch as if silently pleading for

Thisss baddieee!!

Reading into all these crazy action bits has you all jittery that you completely jump when his hand lands on your bare thigh, right at the lace border.

nononono-

With a gulp, you instantly! rise from the couch. How—Just why did you end up falling back so e

-

Fast, desperation kicks in- just- again like those moments ago... and you’re back to pacing this same motel room, seeking an escape from him. Except every aspect now feels as if it’s been cranked up to ten times the difficulty.

The reddish-brown timber panels on the walls give off tough prison steel, and the pink carpet feels all squishy and weird under your bare feet right when you need a stable solid... All while Jaehyun is- just- there... planted in place, now seated, legs all spread, on the green sofa. There’s really nothing you can do but hope he stays right where he is. 

But! once something’s set in motion, it stays in motion. Like a wildfire racing thru dry lands, fierce and unstoppable. And you just happened to let a match slip past your fingers a heartbeat ago, screwing everything up...

Naturally, he gets up. Also, that belt of his really accomplishes nothing... it’s just there to be there, so he’s just got to pull up his baggy jeans himself before he can even take a step forward.

& what his rising does is kick off a frantic chase as you two whirl around the room in a relentless spiral, & he’s hot on your tail... The very thought of him catching up on you sends dopamine through your veins, making your pulse quicken.

Plus that stunning smile? Plus his unconditional happiness? Well, both make him even more irresistible but both also complicate things for you. The excitement mounts as he approaches in the chase, each heartbeat making the thrill even stronger; that once he abruptly stops, the sprinting exertion takes its toll.

His breath comes in heavier gasps, his cheeks are flushed with a pinch of peach, and his bangs are a tousled mess, dancing around him like dandelion fluff does in the wind. Just a pure, natural and effortless elegance. He’s so incredibly attractive it almost hurts to look at him.

The tension though peaks as his words build to a sharp climax of a fact.

“You-um- You’ve been avoiding me this whole trip.”

...That sinking feeling in your heart like a rock just hit it? Yeah...

Yeah, you wish that voice of his didn’t resonate through your very being, scraping against every nerve ending, but that’s what it always does. It freezes you in place, making you overwhelmed and powerless. 

It’s kind of wild how bringing up a heavy topic during a playful moment can make it feel that much more sincere. With so many choices, he went right for the thing that drives him crazy, and that should show you what’s on his mind... at least-

But, you-you

Instinctively, you pull the same fuzzy cardigan around you, clinging to it as though it were a barrier against him, and softly slide your hand from your sleeve, unveiling a lollipop—the only item you managed to pocket earlier.

And this should sweep everything away, right?

-

“Mhmmmm,” Jaehyun hums, back on trend —

acting like he didn’t just mention something that could spark a whole conversation...

— though this time he picks up the bat resting by the bedstand which at the beginning of the week tore through that heart piñata...

And currently, with the sun set, the moon in the sky, and the desert sky glowing a delicate lilac blue, his eyes narrow and his sly grin comes in the same old style as he twists the knob of the yellow lamp, teasing, “So... a thief, huh?” 

...It’s as if he’s putting you in the spotlight, pointing out your crime, and calling you out for being a naughty girl.

& sure, he’s got you in that tight spot he wants you in, okay? But you still tilt your head and nibble on your lip, still going at it, “Maaybee.”

-

& as you start to walk backwards, everything is still beside your breath and the gentle thud of the bat as he taps it against different surfaces. Only muted noise of what seems to be Spanish drifts in from the neighboring room, but neither of you pays it much mind.

His hands fist around the bat tightly, consumed with angry adrenaline, & veins bulge along his smooth skin, sending filthy pulses up his arms. 

It’s a sight that attracts goosebumps all along & across your skin, igniting a warmth that curls from your legs to your belly. The same very electrifying rush of adrenaline wraps around you as if he’s pulling you into the grip of that wooden bat... 

Hiss, twist, loosen, and turn, just like how his hands manipulate that wood...

And you know... it doesn’t take much to find yourself backed up against that mahogany wall.

At once, ‘trapped’ takes on an even greater weight than what it meant before. You feel twisted and turned in advance, completely taken apart by the sheer passion in his deep brown eyes.

Jaehyun lifts a brow. He’s all about this vibe. That big toothy smile of his. The way he’s locked in on you. The ‘Just a couple of steps away, baby.’

Uh-huh, but what about that horrible, horrible crave you’ve told yourself you CAN’T have!??

The itch sits on your tongue, fruity in flavour—perhaps strawberry or raspberry—you aren’t sure. A tang that lingers in your memory, the same as of candy gum that had been in the air around him earlier and one which grew bolder with each step he took toward you. This sickness makes you wish that your tongue is already wrapped in his, tightening for a deeper inspection. 

Yikes! Please, let’s just avoid that!

-

To drive away the feeling, you look down to your toes in the cotton carpet, shift your weight, and then peel away the wrapper of the lemon lolly, seeking a bitter flavor to replace the trace of his scent.

Then eventually, accept the proximity between you two as it is - as you let your back land against the wall, hoping the tension will melt away. 

Feeling the lolly along your lips, you grimace at the acid but take it...

And as you look down, even in your peripheral view, it’s clear that Jaehyun is still watching you, & you realize he’s focused on your mouth. & after giving the lollipop a couple of spins on your tongue, you proudly look up, thinking you’re good and that you’ve totally neutralized the crave for him...

-

Because the suddenly too sure of itself face?

Your neck, your collars, the hard candy prodding at your cheek?

The sleek brown silk and the intricate black lace trim which ascends higher on your thigh as you shift your weight to one leg, elegantly placing the other in front as you find your stance? And then the glossy black polish on your toenails as you draw them from a point in the carpet, just barely hovering above it, & in a straight line with him... As in ???

Yeah, absolutely not; that’s far from a quiet invite...

No! You’re totally not just ‘asking for it.’

On the spur, the dynamics shift... As you let the lemon hang in your mouth, Jaehyun abruptly brings his bat up & uses it to delicately move a piece of your hair aside, and then the very tip of the bat makes a gentle tap at the heart of your collars.

Your breath catches in your throat, a fragile spectacle he zeroes in on as your cords constrict, and then, with knitted brows you swallow in the sour juice of the sucker. 

Really!?? What more does he want of your sorry soul when you’re just trying to get through each breath?

But no! You certainly didn’t ask for it… Just remember he’s not one to give up when told to quit. So, either pack your things or choose a better design, Sugar.

Though that’s the very thing... You can’t deny the magnetic pull of Jaehyun’s game...

Sure, you’re feeling the heat from your toes to the top of your head, but let’s keep things in check, yeah?

Feeling the groove, as you pull out the lollipop to give your lips a little lick, your eyes wander down to what could be seen as a ‘dangerous tool’, and you smirk.

Jaehyun sucks in on his lip, very slowly, very cheekily. The guy’s clearly amused with you. 

“Are you seriously just going to keep looking at me like that?” you ask eventually, taking a moment before adding, “I’m not a fan of it.”

“Mmmmm,” he gives his hundredth low hum, tilting his back head just so, & flexing that tight jawline that always seems to be up for something... something explicit and offensive.

However you pout and slide the lollipop right back in your mouth.

“Tasty?”

...You had to know that was coming, right? And so, as the duel continues, you shrug, allowing a slight grimace to escape your lips, piquing his curiosity about the taste he’s missing out on.

& it runs like a charm.

As Jaehyun lets his eyelids droop in the slowest blink imaginable, &, in his infamous deep voice, says, “I waaanna taste.”

Nuh-uh, even if you tried to reject, it wouldn’t make a difference since he’s right in your face; his mouth hanging agape, eager for absolutely, really absolutely! anything you might have to offer... Cause, there’s always room for a shift in sentiments, wouldn’t you agree?

Though the ‘weapon’ somewhat still stays pointed at you...

Take notes!

For sure! But being the fantastic person you are you tap into your generous spirit & pull out the candy with a satisfying pop while Jaehyun stares at you, mischief even spilling out of his open mouth.

With only inches between you, you gently slide the bad sugar in, pushing it along his tongue and unconditionally savoring the moment and the view.

-

His slightly downturned, sultry eyes as you still hold onto the other end of the white plastic, & he keeps sucking on the lemon in his mouth.

Those damn sunken cheeks of his. The tiny scratch on his nose from a few days ago which has mostly healed, but you can still see it.

The dense, dark brows in disagreement with his bleached hair with a still lingering odor of ammonium hydroxide... Really, a look born from a reckless bet on a chaotic road trip—a decision that seemed utterly foolish but now is somehow working in his favor...

In a way, it’s even funny how the flashy hair is soooo out there… but it’s there, being just one aspect of him. Still, you have to admit its impact is real. A gutsy choice that jazzes him up a notch. This new arc he’s projecting, where it seems, he’s flirting a bit more with his impulsive side? Yeah...

Somewhere between handsome and creamy tabby cat... He’s just bursting with the most obnoxious playfulness, and he’s paired with a smile that raises up his dimples.

The way he’s making you curious and wild >>>  He’s so sexy, it’s unmatched...

And you understand the gravity of wanting such a fine man! The—

(!) The despite knowing, yet failing... or at least in what you think you know and what you think is better.

-

You’re completely focused on his lips, and in an instant, reality just seems to melt away like it’s under a spell.

Tis a state... A mood! The ninth cloud where you can’t feel the air or the ground... All there is is his insane eyes scrutinizing your reaction to what he does to the lolly, and it’s honestly the worst kind of pressure.

Finished savouring, Jaehyun’s tongue casually circles his sensuous lips, collecting all possible leftover like he’s just finished you in style.

“Ummm…” Scrunching his nose at the flirty, piquant taste, he takes a step back. Mulls over the candy choice; pushes his cooked bangs; and hesitates before he says, “Nah, this isn’t the one... I-um... I bet there’s something better out there... It’s likeee” suppresses smile in advance of saying it, “It’s just on the tip of my tongue.” His brows flatten too, mans serious! “Help me think?”

OH, Sir!

A treat that can out-beat this bittersweet taste? A goodie that packs an even bigger surprise?

Your always rambling mind goes thoughtless, & that burning need to press on drops off like a light switch. The coming panic. Your gotcha moment. You go quiet. It hits you that this is the first time your playful teasing has backfired and that maybe you can’t be bailed out of what’s to come.

Worse, as it’s one of those silences that just hangs in the air, making things feel more tense. Your self-imposed rules about ‘what you think you know’ and ‘what’s better’ dissolved, leaving you fully present and stimulated.

& Jaehyun digs right in, spreading the cavity...

He lifts the bat again, its tip gently pressing into your belly, and it’s like you can almost feel his warmth seep through it, then past the fragile silken fabric to your skin. 

You get so hot. This bizarre ripple from your legs to your tummy as you tightrope between pleasure and unease, joy and hesitation... It’s like you two are finally on the same wavelength, knowing what the other is about to say before the words even come out.

A delicate crease develops between his bushy brows which deepens as he tenderly whispers, “I’m sorry.”

“Jae- don’t.” you murmur, your lips curving into a sorrowful pout as you gently shake your head ‘no.’

Needless to say, something nuanced only you and him know...

The result of everything that’s happened...

The ‘this whole trip has messed up the trajectory of our friendship.’

The reason why he chose to hang back today...

The tactics which kicked in since everyone piled into that Jeep truck this morning & sped away. 

The from ‘getting schooled’ in all the board games to the countless Polaroids he let you snap of him, to that little “I’m sorry” hand peck he gave you that had you making the death stare, and the “Don’t ever try to do that again!”

The rude ‘skin-feeding’ masked behind the pretense of a ‘generous’ food provider.

And how you slipped past every move, pushed back, and resisted until he has put you up against this wall... and now ‘the-no-escape’.

Still and all- your pushback’s like a sport. Be afraid of what follows...

-

For Jaehyun gnaws into the very walls of your sensitivity as if sensuality were his chosen medium. Each deliberate motion of the bat becomes a brushstroke in the masterpiece of your downfall...

He glides it along the contours of your waist, teasingly skimming over your curves, trails it down your legs and inners, and even lifts the hem of your dress just enough to make your skin hurt in anticipation.

Then, it finds its way to your stomach yet again, as if to indicate something deep & unexpressed, before tracing a direct path up your sternum, sweeping along your collarbone until he’s made your cardigan slip down your arm, taking the delicate strap of your dress with it...

So much of ‘Jae, don’t,’ huh? Oh, sweetheart… 

-

Certainly, the last thing you hope he avoids is the very thing Jaehyun does...

Trailing the bat along your jawline, ultimately he rests it under your chin... Something something about a ‘clear display of dominance.’ His insane eyes about render you completely motionless as he insists on glancing between your eyes and your lips the way one searches a dictionary for definitions. Again and Again... And then gravity happens...

In an instant, the bat slips from his grasp and tumbles to the floor, making you flinch as his lips finally find their way to your bare shoulder, where seems like he’s achieved something.

Oh, the bite-

An insidious heat stroke as you moan the most promiscuous hiss there is.

“Jaee, we shou—”

“Baby-”

Vibrationssssssssss...

It comes out even more whiny as he gets all of that word muffled against your neck. It roughly cuts into your focus, seeps into your ears, and goes straight to the wrong place.

The very last thing you feel yourself do is slide left against the wall, scraping for any last escape routes, but he just moves in sync with you.

Up to the moment he—

The sound of yearning?

Jaehyun’s palms slamming into the hardwood, spreading out like wings on either side of you, creating a cage of flesh. Brushing off the idea of consent, his hot body presses against yours.

With his hands up, that whimsical teddy bear tee yet again peels from his jeans. It constricts around his arm sleeves, flexing the impressive curve of his biceps. His veins, too, scrumptiously pushed in motivation: ‘All mine! You can’t outrun this, baby. I’m keeping you right where I want you.’

Really, the rest it’s all in your perception—either a trap or a safe spot.

-

A little motel inside a world of sand... you’ve never felt smaller than you do now with him towering over you—not literally, size in drive and ambition.

You watch yourself fade&wilt in his unsettlingly lazy eyes like Valentine’s flower petals from their vase falling onto the white desk dirtied with graphite from pencil shavings and candy wrappers. 

It’s so desertly calm, that your nails accidentally strike a chord in tune as your hands casually fall past his belt buckle...

A beautiful melody that makes his dimples grow deeper, though he still tilts his head, frowning adorably as he perpetually continues to figure things out just for the sake of figuring things out...

Yeah?

Cos, what is the motive here? As your hands do settle gently at the hem of his jeans, fingers teasingly dipping into the softness of his navel?

Hook + Pull = Gravity.

Oh, man, do you make him feel insane things? Cause you’ve been on your guard for the whole day, some goals are hard!

Are you coming ahead of all his sneaky schemes? Are you a baddie too?

Cause now you’re just holding up a higher card like you’ve been doing in every game today. Maybe you... are... on top of your game... The candy of victory is better when it’s hard...

Gravity... Your lips inch closer. 

Your slightly parted lips & that parched swallow might just give Blondie a hint of how desperately you want him to melt on your tongue. And you’re over worrying about it. You even yank at his necklace.

The way his hair falls over your lashes creates a delightful distraction as your noses nearly collide. And the best you can pretend in this intimacy is filthy, “I still haven’t forgiven you.” 

“Ummmmm...”

On brand! Disturbingly sexy hum that flows like honey—a sugary glaze, coating your lips in a deliciously gooey way. You’re hit with the sting & the toxin even before Jaehyun has a chance to consider kissing you or taking any steps. He smiles, he’s just that awful...

“You will.”

-

Alas,

the abrupt grating noise of tires screeching to a stop cuts through the dull ambience outside. A lively group seems to spill out of the truck, loud and as if they’ve just been recharged. A voice you both instantly recognize calls out, saturated with sarcasm and clearly wanting to grab ‘someone’s’ ears. 

“Greeat! We’ve just rolled into ‘Losers Place!’”

-

What a Dullass Bullshit Scenario... for Losers.

Jaehyun scoffs lightly, giving a flimsy half-eye roll, his lips pursed in a way that shows just how unimpressed he is with the moment... Inexplicable urgency drives his body into yours one last time, likely a final act of connection.

He hadn’t even had the chance to pin your hands above your head or hold your jaw in a way that would leave you feeling completely—

There was no pulling of hair, nor did you wrap your arms around his neck to-to—

Nor did your tongue map out the crossroads on his stomach...

Or—

Clear anger paints your temple, too, each line bearing frustration... Just there’s something about keeping it a secret that bodies the danger factor, making everything feel so much more smoky and intense.

& you pout as much, nudging your nose against his as to where you feel all deprived but electrified by simply- just- doing that, softly whispering against his lips, breath all drenched,

“Do you think they know?”

Girlie, Fuck! Do you know what you do to him?

© 𝟭-𝟰𝟵. do not copy, translate, repost, and modify my works.

[eupheme]

Hi there 👋

I’ve never requested anything before but I’ve got Logan on the mind and I love your writing

I’ve seen a number of people talk about it Logan giving good aftercare but I’d like to turn the tables. What would he do if his partner was giving him pampered aftercare instead of letting him handle everything?

It’s totally fine if you don’t want to do this though

ahh anon I am so honored that you sent me your first request! 🥺💖 I hope I did it justice - I love the idea of Logan getting pampered afterwards, thank you so much for sending this! 💖

tender loving care | logan howlett x f!reader

250 words | implied sex, aftercare, fluff

He should move, but he feels every ounce of the adamantium in his legs. Lips parted as he pants, pleasure still humming in his veins.

A rough grunt, when your nails drag through the dark hair on his chest. His cock still filling you - even as he starts to leak from you, as you move. Hands tightening on your hips, half keeping you in place.

Not willing to let you go, just yet. Liking the weight and the warmth, as your knees bite into his hips. The press of your lips against his jaw, as his head sinks into the pillows.

“Fuck, that was-“ Your breath hitches with a soft laugh. Fingers tracing the short-short patch at his chin, “Amazing. You’re amazing, you know that?”

A soft sigh, as your lips press against the same spot, “Take such good care of me.”

He makes a sound of dissent. Not sure how to take it - your tender words. Your tone, softer than he deserves.

When you finally ease from him, he lets you. Pushing himself up on an elbow, but you’re already flitting away to the en-suite and back.

Careful, in the way you gently wipe yourself from him. Curling up against his side when you’re done, a leg hitched across his waist. Fingers scratching through his mussed tufts of hair.

Your voice a comfort, as more praise flows. As you ask him if he wants a bath - he always liked the way your bare skin felt against his. The way his arms slings over your hip, tightening his grip around you, is his answer.

Let’s stay like this, a few minutes longer.

He sinks further, as his eyes close. Weightless, now.

Content, in a way he hadn’t been in a long time. Had forgotten what it’s like, and now he finds he can’t get enough.

To be taken care of.

To be loved.