#He doesn't care if his dad dies
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bet-on-me-13 · 1 year ago
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Desperate Villain Danny AU
(this is a 17 yr old danny)
It started out slowly.
First, a few of Danny's less active Rouges stopped showing up at all. He didn't really notice, and just assumed that they had finally had their Fill of their Obsession for a while and would simmer down for a bit.
Then, some more of his Rouges stopped showing up. No big deal, but he is getting a little concerned for them. They had definitely not had their fill of their Obsessions yet, why did they stop?
Then, the worst started happen. All of his actual Ghost Friends start to disappear. Ember, Kitty, Johnny, even Amorpho, they all start to not show up at all in the Living World.
He goes looking for them in Realms, but he can't find any of them whatsoever. He tries asking around, but everybody else noticed the disappearances much earlier than him and began to hide away from whatever was taking all of the strong Ghosts. He can't find anybody, and the ones he does find won't tell him anything (or don't know themselves)
It takes weeks of searching, but eventually he gets his answer.
The GIW show up in Amity again after a period of absolutely no activity. They have stepped up their operations HARD. Advanced Ghost Hunting Equipment, Much more Competent Agents, and most worrying of all, they seem to know that Phantom is friends with Sam, Tucker, and Danny Fenton.
The GIW comes to his house for a Meeting with his parents, where he overhears them offering his parents a position in their Organization as Head Scientists. While there they also manage to plant Bugs in Danny's room somehow. Although he finds them quickly enough and destroys them.
And then, one night during dinner while his parents are ranting about the GIWs Labs, they mention something that cinches it for Danny.
"And today we even got to Dissect one of the Spooks! It was that Mind Controlly one, you know the one with the blue firey hair stuff that sang a bunch! We're going back tomorrow to continue our Study, this time we'll see how long it'll pretend to experience pain before it decides to give up on tricking us!"
That night, Danny packed up all his things, destroyed the Ghost Portal alongside everything else in his parents Lab, and left his house.
He tracked down the GIW Base, saved Ember from her Cell, and decimated the surrounding Area. No survivors, none of the research is preserved, and he left the Site Director alive to question him.
Turns out, the GIW had managed to Reverse Engineer the Ghost Portal from that brief period of time where they had taken control of Fenton Works. They had been using their own Portal to kidnap any Ghost they could get their hands on. Using the research from those subjects, they perfected their Ghost Hunting Tech and started going after the bigger fish.
"But good luck finding it, Ecto Scum! The Portals location was hidden to everybody, even me!" He said.
"Where are the others!" Danny cried. He was losing control of his appearance by this point. After seeing what they had done to Ember, he was too angry to maintain his Humanoid Form successfully. Even now, with most of his control, he could hear the Static in the air around him, and see the Glitching of his hands as they clenched this Monsters clothes.
"Scattered!" He said with a crazed laugh, "We knew we couldn't contain all of them, so we send them to all of our sites across the Country! You'll never find them!"
Without another word, Danny plowed his arm through the man's chest.
He turned around, picking up Embers weakened Body, before beginning his long flight to Wisconsin. Vlad still owed him a few Favors after all, and honestly his mentorship offers seemed VERY Tempting right now.
(Why reject him if you don't care about keeping your dad alive anymore?)
...
The JLA had recently received a distress signal from somewhere in the middle of some random Forest in Illinois, but when they got to the location, all they found was a crater filled with the ruins of some kind of Military Base, and so so many Bodies.
They had managed to figure out that this was a Government Site owned by an organization called the GIW. A Paranormal Investigation Wing of the Government focused on the study and capture of Supernatural Beings called Ecto-Entities, otherwise referred to as Ghosts.
As it turns out, an Ecto-Entity that had been terrorizing the local town for a few years now had made a drastic change in normal behavior and had attacked the GIW Base that had been posted there.
They would have destroyed it years ago, but this one was unnaturally powerful. It had eluded their capture and terrorized the Town for years, but they had too much pride to contact the JLA and admit that they needed help. And honestly until now, they didn't really need it. The Entity had been entirely confined to the singular town, and had not strayed from that behavioral Pattern in the 3 years since it's inital sighting. They had made the difficult choice to leave it there, sacrificing one town in exchange for the rest of the country.
But now they did need their help. This Entity, this Phantom, was one of the most powerful beings that had ever recorded, maybe even The Most Powerful. The fact that it had left the Secluded town it usually frequented meant that it was loose to wreak havoc across the rest of the world.
The JLA Needed to Find this thing, and Fast.
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somewhereincairparavel · 8 months ago
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Gentle reminder that every time Jason Grace gave his offering to Jupiter, he prayed for his dad to help Nico. Just saying.
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daisybell-on-a-carousel · 2 months ago
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Currently thinking about kid Jason trying to look like his dad (willis)
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what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque · 5 months ago
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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snufkinsnogger · 1 year ago
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Does anyone else have like, a "real world" version of their FO? Like, how'd they look if they existed in our world and how their lore would translate into our reality?
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g00seg1raffe · 3 days ago
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Can i share something that happened to me last year
I'm minding my own business and this guy who I kind of know but wouldn't really consider myself friends with (trauma bonded on a school trip last year and haven't spoken since) comes up to me like hey, what are you doing? And I say: world-building the ancient history of Lord of the Rings. And then I proceed to tell him all about the various genocides of the first age, with a side note on Maedhros' Quenya name, which literally means 'the hot redhead who's third in line for the throne', with his mother name meaning 'hot damn', his father name meaning 'third of the king's name' and his nickname meaning 'redhead'. Then I explain that loads of elves get nicknames, like Gil-Galad and other people who I can't remember.
And he goes cool, can I have an elvish nickname? And I say sure, what do you want it to mean?
And he goes: big daddy
and I don't know what's more embarrassing: a) he thought that, b) he asked that, or c) I could translate that off the top of my head.
#In Sindarin: Belegada#In Quenya: Poldatya or Poldatto#both Beleg and Polda refer not only to 'big' as in size#but also in the sense that a big daddy is powerful mighty influential etc#also 'daddy' in elvish - ada atya or atto - doesn't have the same connotations of a rich sugar daddy kind of providing figure#(or if it does jirt mcCatholic the conservative and repressed definately didn't put that in Laws and Customs of the Eldar)#modern english only uses 'father' as in 'estranged dickhead sperm donor'#and 'daddy' as in 'I wear what he wants and he takes such good care of meee~ I'm a little kitten I'll follow this toxic man anywhere <3'#elvish uses 'daddy' as in 'actual pure innocent child addressing their dad get your head out of the gutter'#and 'father' as in 'lord and leader first and greatest of us all I pledge my undying loyalty to thee#i will follow thee to the ends of arda for thy wisdom is unrivalled and thou art noble and fair and glorious in thy wrath#i place my faith in thee my lord my prince my king for i know thou shalt not lead me astray...'#then the doom of the noldor happens and everyone dies in agony#anyway this is effectively the same as 'ill do as my daddy says because i love him so much~~~'#so it would better fit the spirit of 'big daddy' to actually say 'great/noble father' in elvish?#but im not telling my dumbass friend that he can walk around like an idiot and be proud of his poorly-translated epessë#like the pretentious but secretly insecure ass he secretly is
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bubblegum-snowdrop · 1 month ago
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ur never beating the “lwell loved plushie allegations
Lmfao never will claim to bjvbdfbhjvbjhdfjbhf
Although I do my best to take good care of them <33333
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return-of-the-queen-au · 1 year ago
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New headcanon just dropped
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mikodrawnnarratives · 4 months ago
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hc time: Maggie left the renegades bc of Callums death yes, she's convinced herself that "well i've tried out the hero thing (tried in HEAVY QUOTES), didn't work out, im better suited to villainyyy" and in another post i've talked abt how her tossing the helmet to Callum, and that resulting in Callum's death must have been.. a lot
But also, the idea of that kind of event cementing to her she shouldn't work with others. She's better off by herself, retreating into being selfish, but she also won't directly hurt anyone like this. Last time she worked with someone else she cared about? Welp look at him now. Six feet underground. Because of her
So imagine she doesn't want to work with others for that exact reason, last time it ended badly. Imagine her growing close to Max, but entirely refusing to fight with him on the field. If he's gonna throw himself into danger on his own, fine. (its not fine but) No blood on her hands. She's not the reason a partner gets injured or potentially dies
And that would be lots to unpack, anyone she partners up with KNOWS THE RISKS and its not her fault that callum died, but in a potential arc for Maggie im not sure i'll ever write based on all my hcs for her, thats something that would be hard to change her mind abt
Cuz like.. she was eleven when Callum was murdered. Right in front of her. And if that isn't addressed in the next book(s) Marissa Meyer writes I will write it myself godDAMMIT
She'd probably occasionally partner up with ppl, she can't do EVERYTHING by herself, but i'd imagine its only with ppl she doesn't give a SHITTT ABOUT
speaks volumes
#something something maggie being completely fine with relying on Cyanide as an ally at first since#“this partnership benefits her and if cyanide dies on his end of their trades well at least it isn't her thats dying”#but then starts seeing him as a dad and someone she actively cares about and that scares her as much as its a secret relief to have someone#to go to#and then all of a sudden its much harder to ask cyanide to do things for her#her best reassurance is that “well he's an adult he'll be fine” but it can't fully reassure her since#well she's seen adults die#she's known death#seen it happen#its something that she can survive but what if she brings it to others..?#but maybe she can lean into being selfish enough that she can get rid of these worries#she doesn't care she won't care cuz if something does happen it'll hurt too much#and max making her realize she really should be more selfless ends up not helping with the closest thing she has to a father figure#in this scenario lets just say Cyanide very much isn't a renegade#is laying low for the most part but will help out this kid when he can#maybe even going along with (my hc) maggie's assumption he's just another “villain” on the low and#waiting for the big moment when peace crumbles in gatlon#god i need to make a masterpost of all my hcs that are slowly forming into a fic i just need to write already#trinket duo#maggie white#evie artino#max everhart#renegades trilogy#the renegades trilogy#cyanide#leroy flinn#renegades fandom#marissa meyer#headcanons#character study
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shotbyafool · 4 months ago
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you know it's getting bad when you're making family trees for the fictional character in your head, populated entirely by characters who you just made up for the sake of agonizing the character more.
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philtatosbuck · 2 years ago
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if you Genuinely think that john b’s hatred of ward and “lack of understanding” about ward and sarah’s relationship has to do with him not caring about sarah vs him thinking ward literally murdered his fucking father and then actually framed him for murder and the fact he’s a grown man regularly terrorizing the only family john b has left besides his father i literally do not know what to tell you besides seek help
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saintedbythestorm · 1 year ago
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Not dad trying to tell me about some big fallout news he heard about from some work colleague 😂 oh what the poor man just subjected himself too.
#it was about that leak from weeks ago. dad got quite the details about it. he walked right into that one.#and that dear sir is why we do not try to bring news about the hyperfixation. i will know about it and you will hear about it.#dude even got the history of fallout 3 as a bonus. since that was the one he mentioned 😂#he also got a very veeeery long version about why i would necessarily get so excited about the leaks.#you know age of the document. the whole company sale thing. how much the time line clearly has already gone to shit. etc etc etc.#yeah... yeah i think he really came to regret that one 😅#listen i have only slept 5 hours. am high on caffeine and painkillers- almost had a migraine ok.#which means i have like 0 filter rn and am quite brain tired. i will not realise how long i am going on for once i get started rn.#the info dump has started and it will end when i brain says so. i sure af won't notice I am doing it cause I'm just excited to share#not until i manage to like finish my long ass story do i realise i went on for like a good 20-30 minutes... oops.#and that may just be a generous estimate cause i got really going on the infodump ok. it was a blast. ngl.#i am very passionate about fallout ok. this is what happens when you fall asleep to fallout lore most days of the week.#yes i lost the plot ages ago about this hyperfixation. it makes me very happy. so i don't even care. i will keep doing it.#til the hyperfixation dies and bring great sadness to the lands... til we find something else. god knows when that is though.#i am very ok if fallout hyperfixation just... doesn't go away actually. i like hyperfixation. brings many a solution when upsetty.#.... i really need to stfu up now. hi. 👋 why are you still reading this??? these ramblings of a madman. 😂#ryder speaking#i got this far before i realised i did not in fact write wouldn't get excited... well i aint fixing it now 🙃
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dimiclaudeblaigan · 2 years ago
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not me thinking about how just bc i can’t write for rodrigue week, bc first i had covid and then i had a biopsy and now i have to wait for my elbow/arm to heal,
doesn’t mean i can’t just integrate something for him into miklan weekend
#DCB Comments#by which i mean. miklan and roddydad interacting#bc let me tell you. glenn and miklan? boyfriends. or at least well the closest thing to boyfriends outside of glenn being engaged#BUT LISTEN! LISTEN TO ME! miklan was causing trouble in houses in fraldarius territory! fraldarius territory!!#what if miklan was always you know bleh crests stupid inheritance ima be a baddie and that'll teach 'em -puts on sunglasses-#BUT THEN LIKE. after glenn died he just kinda. lost it. and got worse. and it was like. the one good thing in his life was gone#so he stopped holding back and wanted revenge on the world for treating him like trash ever since sylvain was born#one day rodrigue wants to talk to him. maybe it happens when he's causing bullshit in roddy's territory!#but he remembers! he does! he remembers miklan with glenn and how he used to actually be normal with him! smile around him!#how he wasn't a bandit around glenn! don't think he doesn't remember!!#roddydad well he knows miklan was angry bc he could never be with glenn bc of the arranged marriage with ingrid#and mikky knew ingrid and glenn loved each other even if him and glenn were kinda a thing#but!!! roddydad is DAD! he KNOWS when something's up! he saw mikky as his son in law just like ingrid was his daughter in law!#just like he sees sylvain as his son in love bc of fefe (just bc they're not together yet doesn't mean he doesn't see it he's no fool!)!!!#mikky is just as much family to him as everyone else!!! glenn cared about him!!! he knew mikky a lil bit as well!#he knows it's bc of old customs that mikky has suffered and bc matthias is a grumpy lil butt!#he's tried many times to get matthias to be a better parent bc he loves his best friend and wants him to have a happy family!!!#but matthias just... isn't mattydaddy!!! he's just matthias!!! he's not much of a dad dude you know???#so roddydaddy will be like a father in his place if that's what it takes to get mikky a better life!!!#I'M TELLING YOU WHAT IF RODRIGUE WAS THE ONE TO SAVE MIKKY IN HOUSES AND GIVE HIM A PROPER HOME#I'M TELLING YOU THAT WHAT IF SOMEONE FINALLY STEPPED UP TO RIGHT THE WRONGS OF THE PAST CUSTOMS#AND GIVE MIKLAN A /PLACE/ BC RODDY KNOWS THIS IS ALL WRONG AND NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO FEEL THAT WAY#NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THIS. RODDY HE KNOWS THAT. SO HE'LL GIVE MIKKY THAT CHANCE#BUT MIKKY HAS TO PROMISE HE'LL BE GOOD! BEHAVE! HE CAN'T HURT FELIX OR SYLVAIN! IF HE DOES HE'S IN BIG BIG BIG DOODOO!#HE'S ALREADY HURT SYLVAIN AND RLY THAT /IS/ MATTHIAS' RESPONSIBILITY TO HANDLE. BUT FELIX?#OH IF HE HURTS RODDY'S SON HIS SON MY SON FELIX RODDYDADDY'S SON HE'S GETTIN' S M A C K E D#BUT HE DOES PROMISE THAT IF MIKKY IS GOOD DUDE HE WILL BE TREATED AS GOOD DUDE! WHAT IF RODRIGUE SAVED HIM THO#LISTEN TO ME FELLAS WHAT IF RODRIGUE SAVED MIKKY
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relicsongmel · 6 months ago
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Just spent over an hour searching for the static Ho-oh in the overworld and suddenly Ryuji taking literal years to reunite with his family makes sense to me now
#mel's musings#forest for the tree#the joke is that during his deadbeat era he was off doing the exact same thing. hunting for legendary pokemon to show his daughter#at least my ho-oh was stuck in one spot. HE on the other hand had to find that bastard roaming. makes sense it took so long#denise's dad is an enigma to me. he's not a bad dude at his core but he has VERY misguided ways of showing he cares#case in point: trying to make dena happy by helping her meet the pokemon she's been fascinated with since childhood#except this idea was born from him just straight up abandoning her and her mom. which is THE root of almost all her Issues™#he also lacks emotional maturity and is utterly incapable of seeing things beyond his own perspective sometimes#when his arguments with jen reach a breaking point he takes it as a sign she doesn't love him anymore#rather than recognizing they're both impatient by nature and not the best communicators and probably got married too young#and instead of analyzing his own feelings or talking them out with her (or you know. going to therapy) he just. leaves#his decision IS motivated by love in a way. because he thinks she'd be happier without him. but it's mostly just insecurity and fear#and he does feel bad that little dena got caught in the crossfire. so he tries to make it up to her in his own way#dena's conflicting feelings about his re-entry into her life is a WHOLE other can of worms to be honest#because she doesn't even realize how angry she is with him until she sees him again. she doesn't forgive him right away#but she's at least willing to give him the chance to prove himself again. bc that 10 year old girl who wanted her dad back never died ;_;#why is it that every time i try to be funny on tumblr dot com i end up writing emotional ass meta instead. how does this always happen#this was supposed to be a joke about dena's ho-oh hunt going about as well as her dad's. like father like daughter or some shit yk#ANYWAY that ho-oh sucks and i hope he lands on a stealth rock. good riddance#mel plays scarvi
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 9 months ago
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anyway thinking about diane rick and morty
#random thoughts#guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time#have not seen the new season btw im too lazy ANYWAY#i really like the idea of diane being dead and rick being fucked up having nothing to do with each other#i think rick should be really fucked up about diane being dead but in a 'i didn't care about her before she died why should i care now'#kind of way? like him not caring about her death is a symptom of him being super fucked up#i really like the idea of beth being the result of a teen pregnancy because it runs in the family ig and that's why rick hates jerry#so diane's pregnant and their parents made them get married because that was the trend at the time#loveless marriage exacerbated by rick's rickness which leads to rick dipping a few years in#working 'abroad' or smth idk#he eventually leaves for good when he finds out diane cheated on him and he realizes his life is a fucking telenovela#diane marries the new guy (beth's new stepdad!!! she hates him) and rick keeps up correspondence with beth#to sow seeds of discord#beth loves her distant space dad and hates her mom and her fucking stepdad#beth and rick stop talking to each other sometime before diane dies so he doesn't learn she died until he reinvolves himself in beth's life#beth has an older stepsister named rebecca (becky)#and a younger halfbrother named bandit#she hates becky cuz she's a bitch and hates bandit because she viewed him as a replacement for herself#she absolutely bullied the shit out of bandit but he idolizes her#golden retriever energy. she says jump he says how high#becky was like an older teen when their parents got married and beth was like? four? they have no relationship at all#(diane and the stepdad got married pretty soon after rick dipped btw)#i have not named the stepdad. he remains nameless in the show for comedy purposes and because beth hates him that much#rebecca was like a redhead poodle skirt wearer despite being a teen in the mid-70s#(their hometown had a mid-70's fashion reversion to the 50's it's not important)#she was homecoming queen bee cheerleading captain girlfriend of the quarterback who she married and had 2.5 kids with#bitchy pta wasp mom with a beehive haircut#bandit is in an emotionally abusive relationship with his girlfriend who is an artist (beth meets her and is like 'oh god what did i do')#bandit was also treated like a showdog by his parents (hence the name)#little tykes child pageant star winner. his parents fed him dog food and kept him malnourished so he'd be smaller and pass as a tyke
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jjk4isen · 3 months ago
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ꗃ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃, 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 .
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❝ answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and holding me— was she the one on your mind? ❞
summary: it's hard knowing you aren't really the person in toji's heart but loving him was something you still did regardless. as for toji, he thinks he's ready to give you his all.
desc: 2.8k words, f!reader (referred to as ‘mama’), canon compliant i think, takes place after mamaguro's death and before toji’s, age gap (early 20s reader, early 30s toji), baby gumi ahhhhh, sfw, angst to fluff to angst again lol, intended lowercase, think you're tsumiki’s mom but without tsumiki bc the relations would be too complicated and also the second wife erasure in the canon storyline?? yeah it's reserved specifically for this fic, not proof read i fear but pls read it's really interesting i can swear by it lmaoqhdhns
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dating a widowed man with a son wasn't easy especially when the said man is still in love with his former wife, or rather, his wife who had died.
love is often beautiful but sometimes it's unfair. it can also be cruel. what other reason would make you still stay despite knowing you'll never measure upto the person who had been here before you?
and you've heard stories about her. she was sweet, so beautiful— not just in her appearance but her entire being was beautiful. there always was an ache in your heart upon just the mention of her name.
so how much more would it have ached for toji?
“mama” the spiky haired boy, barely two years old calls you and you realise the silence in the room. “not mama, i’m nana okay?” sick.
nana. not mama but close enough. it doesn't matter anyway, n and m are just letters and next to each other so how much difference would that make? you're the one that's here after all, are you not?
if there's a lump in your throat and your eyes are burning with unshed tears, you force yourself to ignore.
“okay nana” megumi nuzzles his face into your chest, slowly drifting away to sleep. the boy always liked cuddling with you and it melts your heart immensely.
your hands strand through his dark hair. people always said he's the carbon copy of his dad but you'd like to differ. megumi has his mother's eyes and his hair resembled hers more than it did his dad's.
the thought sends another ache in your chest but you push it away– as you always have.
you recall the last time toji had heard megumi call you “mama”. you had never seen toji that livid. he was never a gentle man to begin with but that night, there was nothing else you've been more scared of.
was he like that to his wife? maybe not.
does that matter though? it's not like toji treats you badly. he's decent and loves you an enough amount. you weren't crazy enough to stay when you're not wanted so that must mean you were something to him right?
you also recall the whispers of pity and condemnation thrown at you for just being with toji. him being a brute is one thing but the difference in age is what people seem to have a problem with. you're so much younger than him and have your whole life ahead of you so why are you entrapping yourself this way?
you disagree though. love doesn't know any age and you definitely aren't naive to be head over heels over a guy just because he's relatively older. no, this was real and genuine.
a faint knock disrupts your train of thoughts. “he sleepin’?” toji nods towards the small boy in your arms and you nod back in return.
taking care not to wake the sleeping kid, you slowly pry his hands away from you and pull over a blanket to cover his small body.
when you make your way towards toji, he wastes no time in pulling you closer “missed you” he mumbles, placing a kiss onto your forehead and suddenly all thoughts plaguing your mind disappears. that's all you could ask for, even if it was just for a moment.
“i missed you more” you whisper back, he only huffs out an amused chuckle.
“got bad news though” a frown finds itself on his lips, decorated by a single scar next to it.
“did you lose all your money again?” toji was a gambling addict, another thing you forced yourself to tolerate just for him.
“sorry, doll. thought i’d win this time” he rubs small circles on your back comfortingly and it makes you a bit uneasy to know that he has his way with you so easily.
“it's alright. i’ll just find another part time job”
“so good to me” toji pulls you into his chest and you let out a sigh— of exhaustion? relief? you couldn't really tell but that's not important, toji had you in his arms.
“i’ll try and think of something too. don't worry your pretty little head too much” he lifts you up with ease. while you're in his arms, you feel the safest.
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toji really felt bad this time. he was confident he would win but that stupid horse had to trip and lose its lead, ending up last of all places. he knows luck never favoured him but that's didn't stop him from trying again and again and again.
he also knows how you didn't say anything more than necessary about it but he isn't that much of an idiot either. he sees how your expression falters and your shoulders slump a little more when he comes home with another news of his gambling loss.
this is also why he tries, or rather, tried to quit — one too many times, unbeknownst to you. however, old habits die hard and most of the time (everytime) toji gives into his urge and loses yet again. the cycle keeps happening.
maybe this isn't just about gambling.
with the way you're asleep so soundly next to him after putting his son to sleep and taking care of him too, he is overcomed with yet another feeling to be better for you and megumi alike.
toji isn't a gentle man; everyone knows that, you do too — even more than anybody else but he can't help the familiar pool of warm feelings surging through him the longer he stares at your peaceful state.
he remembers the last time he felt it, with another person. it felt like a lifetime ago.
he also remembers how painful it was when he lost it — the person, the feeling altogether. his hands that were making their way to caress your face stops mid air.
toji knows you deserve so much better. you've been nothing but patient to him, so amazing, so perfect to him. still, he just can't do it yet, just not yet.
he will eventually, he hopes you stay until then.
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toji wakes up to an empty bed and his heart sinks a little but the creases and wrinkles on the sheets serve as a reminder that you were really here.
he makes his way towards the kitchen, only finding megumi sitting on a chair next to the dining table.
“hey kid, where's your mama?”
toji freezes. it came out so naturally he didn't realise he said it himself and almost thinks he didn't but megumi's wide eyes prove that he actually did.
“m…mama?” megumi says hesitantly and toji nods this time. “yes, your mama”.
“potty potty!” megumi points to the bathroom and giggles, toji follows suit. the man crouches to his son's eye level and pats his head.
“you love your mama, kid?” toji sees megumi's eyes sparkle as the boy nods enthusiastically “very very much!!”
“yeah? i love your mama too.”
toji smiles to himself, he can't wait to tell that to you.
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the next time toji got his pay, he finds himself hesitating. instead of heading towards the race tracks, his feet takes him to a jewellery store.
instead of picking out a slot and testing his luck, he picks out a ring. it's not fancy by any means but he thinks it would be the most beautiful band of metal to exist if it slides into your ring finger.
the tiny ring carries all the heavy feelings he has for you.
──
it was one particular evening when you saw an old man lingering by the front gate. its particular because the warm sunset and the soft cool breeze contrasted the ground breaking truth you find out.
“can i help you?” you ask the old man who looks at you up and down, not making an attempt to hide his distaste of your sight.
“is this where toji zenin lives?” he stares down at you with his scrutinising gaze; it makes you feel small.
“zenin?” you ask, confused. is he referring to toji? but his last name is fushiguro is it not?
“yes toji zenin. i heard he has a son as well. you're not the mother are you?”
is it that obvious? you wonder how the old man figured it out. regardless, you're not about to give him his answers so you stood your ground.
“i’m sorry i don't know what you're talking about.” you turn around, about to head inside when his words make you stop short.
“are you fushiguro?”
that's toji’s last name isn't it? not zenin or whatever he called it. so why is he asking you that? is he implying that you're married to toji?
“no. you have the wrong person.”
“why? did he say not to get involved with anyone from his clan?” the old man draws closer, chucking to himself. you're just there unmoving, trying to comprehend the situation and the words coming from his mouth.
“or did he not tell you that either? did he tell you anything at all?” he stands tall in front of you, tearing away bits of yourself with every word he says.
“when he returns, tell him the clan wants to propose him an offer. you can do that much at least won't you?”
and when toji comes home that night with the ring cluched tightly in his fist and inside the pocket of his white pants, the world stills.
he finds you in a state he has never seen you before. you look completely and utterly defeated.
“hey, what's wrong?” his hands come to caress your face so effortlessly, the ring and prior nervousness long forgotten.
“talk to me what's going on?” he looks around and the house seems emptier than usual. your laundry that were usually hanging with his were gone.
your small trinkets you placed around the house to “make it more lively” were nowhere to be found.
and there's a bag in the corner of the room which toji prays and hopes he isn't what he thinks it is.
your hands push away his own that were cupping your face. you're not even looking at him.
“say something damn it!”
you flinch and toji takes a step back. he recalls the last time you trembled in fear — when he got mad megumi called you his mom. he punishes himself for it.
“im sorry. please talk to me.” he isn't touching you now but he wants to. he wants to reach out and pull you close, as he always had done. but now there's an unbearable silence and the small distance between you both felt like lightyears away.
“who's zenin” your voice was meek, barely a whisper but toji's eyes widen. how did you find out about that?
no fuck that, he was supposed to be the one telling you. in his own time.
“i can explain” was all that came out of him. he's nervous, he doesn't know where to start. there's a lot of information to unpack and he's not sure how to do it without hurting you too much.
when he doesn't elaborate, you ask another “who's fushiguro then?” your voice falters a bit and toji curses himself for it.
but he's done running away and keeping things from you. “my… my late wife” he says wryly.
your eyes close and a shaky breath leaves your body, as if he just confirmed your worst suspicions. damn life is so funny isn't it? everything you thought you knew apparently wasn't what it seemed to be after all.
opening them again, your vision blurs and you realise tears were escaping your eyes. fuck you didn't want to cry now of all times but they won't stop.
and the way toji was looking at you, it makes you want to throw up.
“i must've been so stupid to you” you let out a humourless chuckle. “did you pretend im her?”
your gaze was sharp and so were your words. maybe all your bottled up feelings were resurfacing. it doesn't make you feel better about it but that doesn't stop you though.
“answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and when you're holding me, was she the one on your mind??” your voice was loud now. you should be afraid of waking up megumi who you cradled to sleep just a few hours ago but no, your thoughts are too clouded right now.
toji sighs. he has no excuse.
“i used to” he actually looks ashamed as if he wasn't the one who did it purely out of his will.
your scoff makes him wince “but not anymore.”
his words fall on deaf ears “you know… i knew you did. but i stayed regardless because i thought there would be a chance that maybe one day, you could open up your heart to me. im not even asking for all of it, just a little… i thought you'd let me in.”
you're blabbering and honestly, so distraught.
“but not a moment was there when it was me isn't it? it was always her in the first place.”
now toji should have said something, anything but he stays there planted in place. and maybe that was your breaking point.
you turn around, grabbing your bag and brushing past him towards the door. instead of holding onto you and stopping you, toji clutches the small box containing the ring — your ring in his pocket, almost crushing it in the process, as he hears the door slam.
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you think it's funny how toji did not reach out after what happened. it's poetic even. very fitting of him, till the very end, he did not give two shits about you.
so then, why were you back here?
it's been four long years since the trajectory of your life changed. you still don't know if it was for the better or for the worse.
saying it has been hard would be an understatement. it took you a long time just to get back onto your own feet but you did it regardless. however, you left a part of you here long ago and now, you're here to take it back.
that and you missed megumi dearly. perhaps it was an excuse too because you won't deny a part of you still missed toji, despite everything that happened.
standing a few feet away from the place you used to call home, you hesitate.
maybe this was a bad idea. oh this was definitely a bad idea. you'll see them, and then what? what comes after that?
closure? don't make yourself laugh. you’ll just be reminded of how you couldn't be that person for toji— how you'll always come second. and what if they moved?? there's no reason they'd still be here right?
forget this, you don't need to do this. why must you still be the one who put effort? to reach out? four long years passed and still no news means they clearly moved on... right?
you were convinced enough and was about to go back when you saw little megumi carrying a backpack on his back, seemingly coming home from school.
your feet wouldn't move and your eyes wouldn't blink. he grew up so well.
the world pauses as your gaze follows the kid you used to consider your own, now as good as a stranger.
“do you know that kid?” a voice at your back makes you whip your head around. life really is full of surprises and this time, the surprise was in the form of a tall man, no a tall kid with white hair, looking at you curiously through his round tinted glasses.
“... no i don't” well you weren't exactly lying. you don't know the megumi you see now. perhaps if he asked whether you raised him since he was a baby till he was two, then your answer would've been different.
“oh okay” the boy shrugs. “poor guy though”
“why? whats up with him?” you turn to look at megumi again who was minding his business walking home and your heart aches a little.
“I'm here to recruit him. his dad died you see so he's–”
“wait what was that??”
“his dad. he's dead” the amused boy in front of you chuckles and you stare at him, horrified.
“what happened to him?” your voice was shaky and doesn't sound like your own. he leans down to meet your eye level and smirks “why? i thought you don't know that kid. why does that matter to you?”
your stomach churns as you stare at him, not even knowing what to say— the smug expression on his face only widens.
“so you do know him.”
'know' would be a weak word to use when it comes to toji. you knew of his habits, the simple things he does and also of the more complex ones — like the exact place his scar decorated his lips and how it felt to kiss it.
then again, you don't really know anything about him and maybe you never will.
and maybe that's really, the closure you needed.
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