#He doesn’t do it loads but when he tackles or takes someone down my fucking god he’s HEFTY

[coldpintglass]

I don’t know how likely it is, but how would you react if Southgate got the Manchester United job?

And maybe more importantly, how would Harry feel, seeing Gareth cozy up to a captain that isn’t him? I wonder if Harry gets jealous easily and-

*gunshots* Spurs beats United 3-0 *blond man runs away cackling wearing lederhosen*

Well, first of all Anon, thanks for providing the inspiration for this:

Hoping this will inspire Kompany with a new attacking tactic for the next champions league match so Harold can get his paws on a trophy. Lee Carsley would insist Harold use a brick instead, a classic English approach x

Okay actual thoughts (and light mentions of SouthKane) under the cut:

I am a Liverpool girlie first and SouthKane whack job second so you’ll have to take my thoughts with the pinch of salt that I am not a huge football person still but am getting there. 

But well. WELL. I guess what’s the problem Ten Hag has with the team atm? Seems to be there’s no passion and there’s not like longevity built into the team. Lots of old players Ten Hag has worked with and loads of money spent with fuck all to show. 

I know 90% of Man U fans knee jerk reactions is fear when Southgate is mentioned to replace him. I get it - people don’t like how his term as England manager ended and he did FLUNK as a club manager. I do wonder if his time (and yes I’ll say it) success with England may have helped him since then? It’s a totally different gig tbh. 

If he does end up being Man Us coach, fuck me, he’ll be eaten alive I know that much. Unless he gets some winners and I don’t think that’s likely. Not just cause of his style but who’s there too. He’d have to bring back a drive and desire in them and IDK if that’s 100% possible. Maybe with Maguire, Shaw and Rashford causes he’s worked with them before but well. That was so much easier because you really only get to pick the nation to represent that your part of and that’s easy pride to pick at but at a club level, you can chase trophies and money and who really gives a shit so long as you’re being paid. 

So I’d probably feel as bad for Southgate as I did for Man Utd tbh.  

That’s a lie, I’d love it, it be chaos lmao. Get that fucking club relegated Garf x 

AS FOR HAROLD!!!!! 

He’d be shaking like a 3 legged chihuahua watching Southgate cosy up to Fernandez or Maguire  (especially Maguire!!!!) ahahah

I think it’s very uncharted territory for Harold, he’s been Southgate’s favourite for like over a decade and never needed to compete but NOW! OH NOW!!!! Southgate clearly occupied with a team that doesn’t have him in it, woof, I bet he’d be fine but it would wind him up eventually. Harry accidentally becoming a Man U fan just to look out for snippets of Gareth. There’d be no way he’d join Man U but if they met via a match, he’d be making a bee line to him after. Bless.

Honestly low key interested to see what Southgate does next because it’s going to be marvellous to see how I can ham fist further Southkane into my writing 🫡 Part of me wants him to do something outside of football because it be honestly so funny. I cycle between my thoughts on Southgate regularly but mostly it’s “lmao it be funny if this happened to him”

Anyway thank you for the question babes!!! X

[valleyof-goldenlilies]

Snowball Fight on the Hill - Laenor Velaryon x Reader

Summary: Laenor and you end up in a bit of a not so platonic tussle.

Pairing: Modern!Laenor Velaryon x M!Reader

Warnings: profanity, fluff

Word Count: 592 words

A/N: hoe hoe hoe! a very merry late Christmas and Happy New Year in advance from me to you :) though the Laenor simps gang is probably a minority of the fandom, I still wanted to do something special for any male or male identifying readers of the HOTD fanfic reading community for xmas. I hope you enjoy!

lovely dividers credited to @firefly-graphics !

Heavy snowfall was descending all over Driftmark, as you and your best friend, Laenor Velaryon, made your way back to his home, straggling through the snow. 

“I don’t understand why your family lives on a fucking hill,” you huffed, pulling your winter parka tighter around you. “Seems excessive. And troublesome.” 

“Well, we have a car,” Laenor pointed out, looking less of a drowned rat than you, his posture straight as ever. “It’s too bad my dad doesn’t trust me to drive with snow tires in this weather. Too many chances of black ice, he says.” 

You sneezed, rubbing your reddened nose. “I don’t know if I’d rather take black ice over climbing up this fucking hill.” 

Laenor brushed some snow out of his dreadlocks, an idea coming to him. “Well, at least the hill is good for one thing,” he said slyly, hoping you wouldn’t notice. 

“And what the fuck is that? Catching a cold?” you sneezed again, turning to look at your best friend, only to find him nowhere in sight. “Laenor?” 

A hard, small flying projectile hit you on the back of your parka, and you shrieked from the cold. “Snowball fight!” Laenor cackled, standing behind you with his hand loaded with a handful of snow. 

“Oh fuck no!” you exclaimed, scooping up your own snowball. “You’re going to regret that, Velaryon!” Laenor continued his maniacal cackling, as the snowball fight soon evolved into more of a snowball tag. You were pelting Laenor relentlessly with snowballs, and he soon regretted making an enemy out of you, as you were faster and much stronger than him. 

You were sure that you could win this thing, easily. But then, a huge snowball smacked into your face, making you sputter as some of it went up your nose. Ow. you were pretty sure that it broke your nose from the impact. 

Laenor let out a holler of triumph, but it soon turned into one of terror as he saw you brushing off the snow, and charging straight for him like a bull seeing red. Shrieking, Laenor barely had time to defend himself or attack you as he ran for dear life. Unfortunately for him, a well-timed snowball made him slow his pace, and you took the opportunity, tackling him down onto the snowy ground. 

“Hey1” Laenor protested and laughed as the both of you began play-fighting on the ground, rolling in the snow as he struggled to regain control of the situation. “That’s what you get for starting a fight with someone, Velaryon,” you teased, soon managing to come out on top, literally and figuratively, as you pinned Laenor to the ground. 

“Gotcha,” you smiled, looking very smug. “Begging for mercy isn’t going to get you out of this.” When Laenor remained silent, you took a closer look at his face, blinking the snow from your lashes. He was looking at you with a certain sort of admiration, like you were the sun after a long, arduous trek in the dark up the mountains. Like you were pure gold. Your heart began to thump in your chest, as you reached down, hands shaking, to brush the snow out of Laenor’s face. 

“Hey,” Laenor breathed out, staring up at you. “You’re really handsome, you know.” You smirked, trying to hide your blush as you stared down at your not so best friend. “Yeah, you too.” 

“Mind going on a Christmas date with me tomorrow? I’ll buy you a gingerbread latte.” Laenor asked coyly, his dark eyes shining mischievously. 

“You had me at gingerbread latte.”

let me know if you wish to be added to a general taglist for laenor related works, or just my works in general in the comments or through this form! :) 

thank you for reading! if you liked it, likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! merry late xmas guys 😘🎄

[sparklecryptid]

moose's extremely self indulgent birthday bash fics (1/3)

featuring: an incredibly creative use of jesus' name in a curse.

in which the author gets thrown into their own au and isn't that happy about it. (uncomplete ficbit)

-

Kit has learned that despite being thrust into a fanfiction he started when he was nineteen he knows absolutely jack shit about anything that’s happening ever. If asked why he knew nothing of this Alternate Universe Kit would claim that anything that happened after the story wasn’t written anywhere and thus he cannot claim to know what happens after the curtains fall.

This has been his motto for the past three years he’s been in Eos. Pretend to know nothing and let others assume you have all the information already so they’ll hand feed you the important bits. It’s worked wonderfully so far, Kit knows that Ace has gotten married and that his coronation is set for June of this year in Insomnia.

So Kit is going to avoid Insomnia. He does not give a single fuck about the weird fatherly urge that makes him want to hunt down the character he created and sigh dreamily at him. Not just because Axis or Libertus would likely shank Kit but also because it would be fucking weird.

Not only that, Ace also has this entirely unneeded ability to control lightning now. This causes the air around him to feel static and buzzing and Kit knows that with his meager control of his ability the royal family would undoubtedly figure out something was Wrong With Him.

(Kit resolutely does not think of the lichtenberg scars running down his back. He does not think of them.)

So all Kit has to do is continue to avoid the royal family and anyone associated with them at all costs. Easy enough. It’s not like Kit is the type of person people would go looking for.

-

Kit hates his job. He hates his job. He hates that because he needs a paycheck he has to go to Insomnia to watch Ace get crowned.

Kit also hates that he knows Ace is going to be grumpy and that a grumpy Ace is a keen-eyed Ace who will do almost anything to get the attention off of him.

So Kit dresses fancy - as a member of the press he must - and takes notes on a piece of paper as his photojournalist buddy is busy taking shots. He does not intend to do anything more than the bare minimum. Kit has a recording device going so he doesn’t misquote any of Regis’ adoring speech to his eldest but Kit refuses to look at Ace at all.

He would not be able to stop himself from doing something embarrassing if he did.

Not looking at Ace has some benefits; for one it allows him to make eye contact with the man carrying a gun in the crowd. They lock eyes. The man fires. Lightning rips itself from the scars that have etched themselves into Kit’s back.

Someone screams. A lightning bolt takes out the assassin's leg. Kit spares a moment to wonder if he’s going to throw up. His photojournalist has not stopped screaming. Kit tosses another lightning bolt at a man with a knife charging toward the stage where the important people are. He figures turning to ash is loads better than what Ace or Regis would do to the poor sod.

Kit scans the area, finds others had already dealt with any other would-be assassins and that Kit is the only supposed threat left.

He spares a moment to wonder if being tackled to the ground would dislocate his shoulder - all signs point to yes - before he dims the light show.

His photojournalist is still screaming.

“Will you stop that?” Kit demands and takes a step forward only for the other man to scramble backwards, “Fucking hell, I’m not going to fry you. Did you at least get any decent photos?”

The screaming stops. The photojournalist is now laid face first on the floor.

“Jesus fuck,” Kit says, “This day sucks.”

“I haven’t heard anyone swear like that since I met my nephew.” It’s a darling voice, rich and deep in its timber and Kit suddenly hates that he has always found it attractive. “Who are you?”

“Just a guy,” Kit says, lying like a liar to the man who has multiple PhDs in lying.

Ardyn’s smile is frosty and amused. Kit tries to leave.

He is grabbed by the back of his shirt like a misbehaving kitten being scruffed.

“Can you put me down?” he asks.

“No,” Ardyn says because he’s an asshole like that.

Kit tilts his head to try and get a better view of the man.

“I hope you get fucked through the wounds Jesus had,” Kit says with all he sincerity of a priest.

Ace lets out a disbelieving laugh and if things weren’t as fucked as they were Kit would have more time to appreciate it.

Ardyn makes a face.

“Aether,” he says to his nephew, “Explain.”

“No,” Ace says and his voice is so full of assholery Kit is proud, “I’m going to let you wonder about that one.”

[elvensorceress]

sunrise

(the 5x03 episode coda we all deserve) 

Inspired by @eric-dierr ‘s post

on AO3

There’s finality to the sound of the door shutting behind her, but the weight of more years than he’s ever known her disappears as soon as she does. 

He can breathe again. He can relax. He doesn’t have to play a part. He doesn’t have to fake picture perfect, too-exaggerated-to-be-real happiness. He can finally take his home back. 

The irony of his disaster kitchen is not lost on him. But he starts with a message, because it needs to be said, and he hates the idea of hurting anyone. Least of all hurting someone the way Buck was hurt. 

Done. It’s over.

Is what he sends. And then goes to strip the beds and cycle the laundry and wash his whole fucking house of anything touched by her. It’s only a few minutes before he receives a response. 

it go ok? r u ok? 

He could be better. He could have a clean house and a clean mind and he could simply enjoy curling up with his son and finally spending time with him. Fixing everything has to come first. 

It was fine. Probably. Who knows. You make it home?

Once the sheets are washing, he turns to the kitchen and who does this to someone else’s kitchen and just leaves it? He digs out gallon sized ziplock bags and fills them with the assortment of muffins and other baked goods. He’ll have to make a note to himself to take them to the station on his next shift. At least he won’t have to pretend to like bland, flavorless cooking anymore. 

He checks his phone and it’s been a good ten minutes without a response, so maybe Buck decided to nap or cook or… Oh, god maybe his girlfriend is there. 

At least there’s not much of anything in Eddie’s stomach right now because it twists and he’s nauseous and of all the people Buck had to pick her and it’s just… none of his business but Buck could do so much better. He deserves so much better. Though the idea of Buck with anyone is not something he wants to think about. Not that he wants Buck to be alone forever. He’s been so lonely and Eddie knows he desperately wants to be loved. But no one is ever going to be good enough for him, no one can know him well enough or love him the way he needs, he should be adored and cherished and treated like the most precious thing in existence because he is.

And that’s the most Eddie wants to think about on the subject. 

He starts by unloading the dishwasher and then has to restart by organizing his cupboards back the way the dishes and cups and silverware are supposed to be organized. Halfway through the third cupboard, his phone chimes. 

idk. technically. what r u up to?

He reads it and rereads their whole conversation, and sighs heavily. Buck could take his own advice. But then they’d both be alone again. One of them should at least have something? He starts typing and hesitates and knows his typing must have appeared and notified Buck that he’s working on a response. But. Should he? 

Fuck it. Why not. 

Cleaning up my disaster. Want to come over? 

The response is immediate. 

Yes

It’s another moment where he can finally breathe again. In that case, he unloads the clean dishes into a mostly empty cupboard and tries to tackle the dirty dishes in the sink before Buck shows up and sees the mess made of his kitchen. 

disaster?

Is the next message that pops up on his phone and Eddie contemplates sending a picture, but some things are better left a surprise. 

You’ll see.

It takes him less than fifteen minutes to walk through the door and the kitchen is only partly under control. He hears Christopher excitedly exclaim, “Buck! Buck is home! You’re here!” 

And Buck’s near giddy reply of, “Christopher! You’re also home!” He laughs and Eddie has to see them. 

He grabs a kitchen towel to dry his hands and finds Christopher clutched tightly in Buck’s arms, melting onto his shoulder much like he did at the station a few days ago. They both have their eyes closed tightly, swaying as if there’s joyful music only they can hear. Eddie wonders what it might take for him to hear it as well. 

He swallows hard and can’t look at anything else. 

Christopher lifts up and presses both of his small hands into Buck’s cheeks. “I missed you, kid.” 

Buck laughs again but his eyes look glassy even though there’s something about him that is radiant sunshine after years of being lost in a cold night. “I missed you, too, buddy.” He sets Christopher down but bends to leave a kiss on his forehead. When he looks at Eddie with that glowing sunrise of a smile, Eddie can almost believe in hope and happiness and the future. 

It makes him want to believe real love is still possible. That there is something, someone, in existence who might make his heart want and need and bleed love in every incarnation. 

Buck lets Christopher go back to playing and follows Eddie into the kitchen. Where his expression immediately turns into something horrified. “What in the,” he glances in the direction of the other room, shuts the door and mouths quietly, “Fuck happened here?”

“I told you. Disaster.” Eddie tosses his kitchen towel onto his shoulder and returns to the kitchen sink with soaking cupcake pans. 

“But,” Buck says, supremely distressed. “My kitchen.”

“I’ve been working on it,” Eddie promises. He needs to scrub down and wash away everything. 

 “She wasn’t even here that long. What the hell did she do? Who does this and just leaves someone else’s house like this?”

Eddie shrugs but gives him a smile. He can finally smile. A real smile in his own home. It’s almost strange now, but it’s possible. Then again, it’s always real when Buck is around. “That’s exactly what I thought.”

Buck shakes his head and goes to the cupboards to finish organizing them properly. He knows better where everything is supposed to belong anyway. 

With Buck’s help, it doesn’t take long to reorganize and wipe down the entire kitchen. They put new sheets and blankets on the beds and Eddie does a quick cleaning of the bathrooms while Buck vacuums and tidies the living room. They bring the dried laundry to Christopher’s room to fold and put it away and start a load of all Eddie’s work clothes, and only then does Buck turn to him and put his hands on Eddie’s shoulders. 

Eddie tries not to go weak at the touch. It feels like an eternity since they’ve hugged, since they’ve been home, since they’ve been close. 

“Thank you,” Buck says softly.

Eddie looks at him, unsure, uncertain, and longing for something they can never have. “For what?”

Buck bites his lip and tears well in his eyes. “For not being Abby. For being you.”

Eddie takes a deep breath and very lightly rests a hand on Buck’s chest. Over his heart. “Thanks for being you.” 

Buck bends his head and Eddie holds onto him, pulls him closer so Buck’s forehead rests against his own. 

It’s so easy to believe now. He can almost feel it with how they’ve grown together, built this together. There’s something so close it feels inevitable, but he knows it’s something they chose for themselves. 

When they let go, they join Christopher on the sofa and cuddle together closer than they ever have. So close Christopher wriggles out from their tight grasp because they are interrupting game time, okay? Buck looks at him for a moment but curls against Eddie’s side anyway and drifts off as they’re stretched on the couch together. 

His house his clean. His life has a new page, a fresh start, it can be anything. But he knows, no matter what, they’ll have each other and their son. It’s all his heart has ever wanted, and this time, it feels as if they will have it. 

@oneweirdcryptid @ashavahishta @captain-flint @phantomqueenmorrigan @loveyourownsmiilee @oldsouldreamer85 @arrenemris @fleurdebeton @rosefairyirl @holydrogo-n @free-byrd @insaneoldme @oatflatwhite @favouritealias @idealuk @racoonsa @ethicalconflictdiaz

(If anyone would like to be added to my tag list, let me know or go like this post 💕)

[arvinsescape]

Too close.

A/N: This one is a pretty fluffy one but i stumbled across the concept and just had to use it, i really hope you enjoy! I enjoyed writing it!

Summary: At what point do you realise you’re too close to your best friend?

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of smut and implied smut but nothing bad.

W/C: 2.4K

Everyone had always said you and Tom were too close to just be best friends. You’d been best friends for so long and completely inseparable. People thought that when you grew up you’d grow apart somehow but you never did, you only grew closer. People always assume you’re a couple no matter where you go or what you do. His girlfriends always hated you for some reason and your boyfriends always hated him, said you were too close and it was weird. Sure, you were close but how close is too close?

You cuddled all the damn time.

You were sat with the rest of the boys having a film night and of course you were sat with Tom. Your back against the arm of the chair and him sat between your legs as you played with his hair. He sighed in content as you continued to run your fingers through it, he found it comforting.

“When are you two gonna get together?” Harry suddenly said as you halted your movements for a second.

“What do you mean?” Tom asked.

“Well you’re so close I’ve thought something has been going on for years.” Harry shrugged.

“What you can’t be close to your best friend?” You asked.

“There’s close and then there’s you two.” Harrison interjected.

**

You were in bed cuddled up in your blankets when you heard the front door open and shut, Tom must be home. You leapt out of bed and ran down stairs quietly as to not wake the other boys, tackling him into a hug as he laughed.

“Missed you so much princess.” He said as he squeezed you tight into his chest. Princess. It was a nickname he exclusively had for you and Tess. Sure he had pet names for his girlfriends but he had always said that princess was exclusively yours. That had started at your prom because he said you looked like one and the name stuck.

“Missed you too Tommy.” You said as you squeezed him back. Tommy. A nickname he couldn’t stand coming from anyone else other than you. It was something you’d always called him and you were the only person who got away with it. Not even his exes had been able to call him that without him cringing but when you said it? He smiled.

“I’m gonna go for a shower, wanna get the plane smell off me.” He said into your hair as he kissed the top of your head and moved away from you and up the stairs.

You made your way back into your bedroom as you heard Tom quietly move around his bedroom and take a shower. You heard the water shut off and five minutes later your door was creaking open. He had his pj’s on and he was smiling at you as you returned it from your curled up spot on the bed.

“Shift over.” He said and you did as he grabbed the duvet and climbed in next to you. You laid your head on his chest as he ran his hands through your hair. This was normal, you shared a bed often as both of you slept better, of course you never did if either of you were seeing someone or in a relationship but when you were single? You rarely spent a night apart unless he was away.

“God I’ve missed how warm you are.” He mumbled as he tightened his grip around you and you smiled. “I’ll tell you all about filming tomorrow but for right now I’m so tired and I haven’t had a good nights sleep in weeks.” He mumbled as you snuggled further into each other, letting sleep take you both.

You slept together often.

You and Tom had lost your virginities to each other. You both wanted someone you trusted to be your first time and couldn’t think of any other person you trusted more. It was sweet and it was fun and everything you would imagine losing your virginities to be. Tom was careful and sweet and took care of you before and after.

After that you found yourselves relieving each other often. Whenever one of you were horny the other would help out as best friends do, right? This ranged from all kinds of sex, rough, passionate, shower, morning, phone, you name it, whatever you were in the mood for you did. You didn’t think much of it, loads of people slept with their friends. Of course you never did this when either of you were in a relationship or seeing someone.

You also discussed anything sex related, good experiences, bad experiences. You discussed everything and anything sex related. You tried all sorts together, if either of you wanted to try something new you tried with each other because you could trust each other and you didn’t feel embarrassed about brining it up or not enjoying it.

You held hands a lot.

You’d decided to join Tom on his morning walk with Tess and as you were walking around the park he suddenly grabbed your hand and interlocked your fingers. You smiled as you squeezed his hand slightly. You held hands quite often when you were walking, you’d done it for years and neither of you thought much about it. You held hands when you were sat watching TV together. Or when you went to the cinema or well whenever really. It didn’t seem to matter, your hands just seemed to gravitate to one and other.

Your social medias are full of pictures together.

Your social media was almost mostly pictures of you and Tom and Tom’s pictures that weren’t promotion? Were you and Tom. Special birthday messages would appear on your social medias every year to each other. People thought you were together and you had to correct them and tell them that you were just very close friends. Of course the internet claimed you were too close and you’d never thought much about it until today.

You’d just split up with your boyfriend, Nick, you’d been together for four months and he’d told you he was in love with you. You couldn’t say it back, you found him attractive, of course but that spark hadn’t started so when he told you that his had you broke it off so you didn’t string him along. He wasn’t happy.

“I never stood a fucking chance did I?” He shouted at you.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You snapped.

“You hold me to some ridiculous expectation that he’s set.” He growled at you and you rolled your eyes. Every single one of your exes had claimed that you were in love with Tom and that’s why you couldn’t love them back.

���He’s my best friend Nick. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“You two are way too close. It’s intimidating living in his shadow.” He shouted again.

“I haven’t once said that I compare you!” You screamed.

“You don’t have to. You probably don’t know you’re doing it.” He snapped. “You know what? It’s my own fault, I saw the way you looked at each other when I first met you. I should have gone with my gut that you could never fully want me back. I’m leaving, do yourself a favour and start being honest with yourself or you’ll never be fucking happy.” He snapped before he made his way out of the door.

That was an hour ago and here you were, sat on the couch, talking to Tuwaine who had heard the whole thing because he happened to be in.

“I don’t get it Tuwaine, he’s my best friend why do people always think I’m in love with him?” You sighed.

“I think you know the answer to that.” Tuwaine said with a sad smile. “It’s me now, be honest. Why can’t you love any of these men back? Don’t answer straight away, I want you to really think.” He spoke again and you sat as you thought about it. Really thought about it.

They’d all cuddled you. Just not like Tom. They’d all been good in bed. It’s just Tom was better. They all played with your hair. Tom was just more gentle with it. They all held your hand. But their hands never felt as soft but at the same time rugged like Tom’s. You posted them on social media. But it was still full of you and Tom. They all comforted you when you cried. But Tom was the only one who knew how to comfort you properly. You told them everything. You just always told Tom first. They cuddled you in bed. But you still slept better when Tom was next to you. They all tried so hard to gain your heart. But they couldn’t because it’s Tom’s.

Why couldn’t you love them back? Because you are in love with Tom.

“Oh.” You simply said and Tuwaine laughed.

“Finally!” Tuwaine said. “Watching you two pine after each other whilst simultaneously being in a relationship has been the strangest thing I have ever witnessed.” He laughed and you furrowed your brows.

“What?”

“Come on. You sleep together, you cuddle all the time, you’re practically obsessed with one another.” Tuwaine said and you furrowed your brows deeper.

“It’s not funny Tuwaine, what am I gonna tell Tom?” You asked.

“The truth?” Tuwaine said as if it was the most obvious and easiest thing in the world.

“What if he doesn’t feel the same?” You worried as your heart beat sped up at all the possibilities running around your head.

“I have a hunch it’ll go the way you want it to.” Was all Tuwaine said as Tom came through the door and your heart jumped into your throat.

“Hey!” Tom said, face lighting up as he saw you.

“Well this is my cue to leave the house for a while.” Tuwaine said loudly.

“What?” Tom asked confused.

“I am not sticking around to listen to you two fuck.” He laughed as he made his way out of the door.

“What’s his deal?” Tom asked eyebrows almost in his hairline. You realised that this was your moment. You had to tell him, for you. Nick was right, you’ll only be happy if you be honest with yourself.

“I broke up with Nick.” You said.

“Oh princess, are you okay?” He asked as he went to make his way over to you but you put a hand out to stop him. He looked at you confused before you sighed and closed your eyes before opening them and speaking.

“Tom, I don’t really know how to say it so I’m just gonna say it. I’ve come to a realisation today and I need to get it off my chest. I am in love with you and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I think deep down I’ve known for a while but I’m in love with you.” You said and you felt like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders, it felt right to say it. You hadn’t looked at Tom yet, finding anything else in the room to stare at as you spoke. He didn’t say anything and your heart dropped.

You closed your eyes one last time before looking at him, ready to face the heart break but as soon as you looked at his face it was plastered with an amused grin. You furrowed your brows.

“What?” You asked.

“Finally.” Tom said. What?

“What do you mean finally?” You asked almost gobsmacked. You’d just told him you loved him and this is his reaction? You’d pictured many, but not this.

“What I say. I know you are and I’m in love with you.” He stated, amused smile still plastered all over his features.

“What, you mean, hang on. What?” You stumbled over your words.

“I’m in love with you, I’ve known for a couple of months, after I broke up with Lucy. Tuwaine made me see sense.” He said and you looked at him gobsmacked. Why hadn’t he told you?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You voiced your confusion.

“Well you were still with Nick and you seemed pretty happy and I didn’t wanna upset you in case you hadn’t come to the realisation yet.” He shrugged and you laughed, genuinely laughed.

“So this entire time we’ve been running around playing house together and all we had to say was ‘I love you’ and we’d have saved ourselves all this time and effort on other people?” You laughed the more you thought about it. It really was ridiculous, everyone always said you were too close because you were always in a relationship without realising it. “I feel a bit ridiculous for not realising sooner.” You said.

“Yeah I felt like that until I realised that we’ve been close for so long it’s hard to pinpoint when I started loving you more than a friend, it just seemed so normal for us, you know. Tuwaine and Harrison called us soulmates.” He laughed.

“Not sure I believe in those but if you’re it then it’ll do.” You teased as he mocked offence and made his way over to you. “We always do fight like a couple.” You said as you realised Tom was the only person you ever had an argument with that was fuelled by passion. He hummed.

“We always do post about each other like a couple.” He said as his hands found your waist and yours found his shoulders.

“And hold hands like a couple do.” You said as his face inched closer to yours.

“Cuddle like a couple to.” He whispered face inching so much closer.

“Have special nicknames for each other.” You whispered, faces ridiculously close now.

“We most definitely fuck like a couple.” He whispered one last time, lips ghosting yours before closing the small amount of distance and capturing your lips. It was passionate and full of all the love everything you did always was. Your hands found his hair as you lightly tugged and he pulled you impossibly closer by your waist, tongue skimming your bottom lip for entrance which you happily granted. You stayed like that for a while before Tom eventually carried you upstairs. Tuwaine was smart to leave when he did.

[elliesguitarstrings]

promises, promises || part one: what used to be

masterlist || series masterlist

tom holland x reader

summary: you're crying over someone you haven't seen in two years, tom is straight up depressed, your friends are trying to set you up, and sam is just trying his best to help

warnings: ANGST, language, mentions of sex, little bit of fluff, probably typos

A/N: PART ONE IS HERE!!!! i absolutely love this fic and i hope you guys love it as much as i do :)

p.s. this ended up being really long sooooo i decided to make it into a series instead lol if y'all haven't figured that out

wc: 5k

~~~~~~~~

"I got the part! Holy shit I actually got the part!" Tom throws his computer across the bed in disbelief, almost hitting you.

"Wait, like THE part? Like Spiderman?" you question excitedly.

"YES!!! Check the Marvel Instagram right now!" he crawls over to you as you whip out your phone and quickly search up the account. You scan the page to see a post captioned, "Click the link in our bio to see who the new Spider-Man is!" You quickly find the link and impatiently wait for the page to load. And then you see it, boldface print and giant letters across your phone.

The new Marvel Cinematic Universe Spider-Man will be played by: TOM HOLLAND

"HOLY SHIT TOM! You're fucking Spiderman!" you tackle him with a hug, squeezing him so tightly that he has to fight for breath. "I'm so proud of you, I knew you were gonna do big things." you smile brightly.

"We have to go tell everyone else, come on!" Tom pulls you off of him, dragging you out of his bedroom and down the stairs to give his family the big news.

The rest of the Hollands were already together in the family room, and they immediately took notice of yours and Tom's excitement as the two of you are bounding down the stairs.

Out of breath, Tom sprints to the center of the room. "Attention everyone, I have an extremely important announcement to make!" He pauses for dramatic effect, his family waiting in anticipation. "I'M GONNA BE SPIDERMAN!"

This causes an outburst of cheers and applause from his parents and brothers, each one of them getting up to hug Tom and congratulate him on this huge achievement.

Paddy pipes up, "How did you get the news? Did they call you or something?"

"Um, not exactly. They posted it on their Instagram and on the Marvel website as well, wanna see?" He turns to you, "Y/N, show them your phone!"

You pull out your phone and open the screen you were just looking at, showing the Hollands the Instagram post and article.

"No way, they're totally hacked." Harry remarks, earning disapproving looks from Nikki and Dom. "if you were really gonna be the next Spiderman, they would have called you."

Before Tom has the time to argue back, his phone rings, as if on cue. Tom pulls it out of his back pocket and nervously studies the number across the screen.

"Well, what are you waiting for div, answer it!" Sam chirps impatiently.

The rest of the room is silent while Tom listens intently to the person the other line. You can't make out what they are saying, but the eventual smile on Tom's face completely gives it away.

"Yes, thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity," he holds while the other person talks again. "Yeah, I'll be in touch, definitely. Thank you again." Tom ends the call and lets out a sigh of relief. "That was fucking Kevin Feige! I got the part! I actually am gonna be the next Spiderman!"

You and the rest of his family cheered even louder than before, enveloping him in a giant group hug.

"I say we celebrate!" Nikki announces. "How about we go out for a nice dinner?"

Tom smiles, "If I'm honest mum, as nice as that would be, I'd rather just stay in and celebrate here tonight. I like your cooking better than any fancy restaurant anyways."

"Of course honey, I'll make your favorite. We can have a nice big family dinner, how does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect mum, thank you."

She dashes into the kitchen followed by Sam, the aspiring chef of the family, while Dom, Harry, and Paddy go to dress the table.

You take this as your cue to leave, seeing as you don't want to disrupt the rest of Tom's night with his family. "I guess I should get going then," you turn to Tom, hugging him once again. "Congratulations again, I'm so proud of you Tommy." you smile as you head to grab your things before you leave.

"Nonsense! You're staying for dinner too!" Tom stops you.

"Tom, I can't, you should spend this night celebrating with your family." you try to reason with him.

"But I want you here too!" he pouts.

"And you are family!" Nikki pipes in from the kitchen, earning nods of agreement from the rest of the family.

"See, everyone wants you here Y/N, please celebrate with us?" Tom cups your face.

"Are you sure? I really don't want to-"

Nikki cuts you off, piping in once again, "Y/N, I insist you stay for dinner with us. You've been a part of this family for so long, and you know that. So please stay and celebrate with us!" she smiles.

You giggle, "Well, I guess I can't say no to that." Tom smiles, giddily engulfing you in another hug.

After a long and delicious dinner, you and Tom now lay under the stars in the treehouse in his backyard. Dom had built it for you two when you were eight years old, and it's been your special place ever since then. Obviously, it has been upgraded and redecorated since then, now that you and Tom were both eighteen, but it still takes you back to the old days when you were just carefree little kids.

You cuddle into Tom's chest, looking up at the night sky through the small window in the roof of the treehouse. "I wish we could stay here forever," you whisper.

"Me too." Tom pulls you closer, kissing your forehead.

"Everything's gonna change you know. We're graduating in two weeks, and then you leave for America. I don't know what I'm gonna do without you." A small tear rolls down your cheek which doesn't go unnoticed by Tom.

He wipes the tear off your face with his thumb, cupping your chin to make you face him. "Hey, hey, look at me. Things might be changing, but that doesn't mean we have to. I'm only gonna be gone for a few months, and then I'll be back. I love you so much, and a few hundred miles is never going to change that. I will never let anything come between us, ever, okay?"

You smile softly, "You promise?"

"I promise darling. It's you and me forever. I'm never letting you go. Never in a million years." he kisses you lovingly, and you swear you could just live in this moment forever with him, and only him.

That was six years ago. And what Tom said was true, everything had changed. You just wish everything else he had said that night was true too.

Now, Tom is a world-famous actor, living a luxurious life out in Hollywood. You, however, have stayed in England, living only thirty minutes away from your childhood home with your newfound best friends Julia and Finn. You are no longer a part of Tom's life, and he is no longer a part of yours. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten about him.

How could you possibly forget about Tom? Your entire childhood was spent with him. From the ages of two to twenty-two, you were inseparable. To this day, you still remember when you first met, and you think about it often.

"I no wanna go! I stay home and watch princesses!" you cry, defiantly pulling away from your mother's firm grip as she tries to stuff you into shoes that are much too small for your rapidly growing feet.

"I know honey, but we have to go welcome the new neighbors who just moved in across the street. We made them brownies, remember?" she smiles.

You scrunch your face up, " No! I stay home!"

Your dad chimes in, kneeling down to your level. "Listen peanut. How about we make a deal. You come with us and say hello to the new neighbors, and then after we get home you can watch any princess movie you want and maybe even have some ice cream, how does that sound?"

You smile, "Ice cream with rainbow sprinkles?"

He rubs your head, "With rainbow sprinkles."

"Okay. I go then."

Your parents smile, and you hold their hands as you walk across the street to meet the neighbors. Your mom rings the doorbell, and the door opens to reveal a red-headed woman, smiling at you and your parents. Hiding behind her is a small, curly-headed brunette boy about the same height as you.

Your mom introduces herself, "Hi! My name is Y/M/N, this is my husband Y/D/N, and this is my daughter Y/N. We live right across the street, and we just wanted to welcome you into the neighborhood." She outstretches her arms, holding the brownies, "I made these for you as well, I hope you like them!"

The woman smiles, "Oh, wow, thank you so much, you are so sweet! Would you like to come in for a bit?"

"Of course, as long as you'll have us."

She ushers the three of you in and you stay close to your mom, still wary of entering a stranger's home.

As she closes the door behind her, she introduces herself as well, "Sorry, the house is a little messy, we’re still getting settled in. But I'm Nikki, my husband Dominic is unpacking in the kitchen, and this is Tom." She motions to the boy behind her, "Tom, say hello to the nice people!"

He timidly steps forward, waving at you and your parents. "Hello." he says quietly.

"Oh my, he is adorable!" your mom gushes. She walks over to him, "How old are you Tom?"

He holds up two fingers, "This many."

She smiles, "Two years old? Wow, you're so big! Guess what, you know who else is that many?" Tom shakes his head no. "My daughter Y/N!" She motions for you to come, and you shyly walk forward.

You wave at him, and that makes him smile. Nikki taps Tom on the shoulder, "Do you maybe want to show Y/N your toys upstairs?

He nods his head, smiling at you, "Wanna go play?" he asks.

You smile back, looking at your mom for permission. She nods her head and pushes you forward. "Okay, we go." you respond. He takes your hand and pulls you upstairs, seemingly coming out of his shell. You don't know what it is about this boy, but he makes you feel warm, like a hug. It's something your two-year-old brain can't quite comprehend, but suddenly you couldn't care less about watching princess movies or eating ice cream.

Sometimes you wish that day had never happened, that you had never met him. You wish your little two-year-old self had fought harder against your parents so that you wouldn’t have to endure the years of pain he would cause you later in life. But you can’t go back, and in part, you’re glad about that. He was your first friend, your first crush, and your first love. But he was also your first heartbreak, and that’s something you can never forget.

You're snapped out of your thoughts by a sharp knock on your bedroom door. "Hey, are you almost ready? We have to leave in ten or we'll be late!" you hear Julia's muffled voice from the other side of the door. Finn is hosting a gala tonight for his art studio, and being his best friends and roommates, you and Julia are basically required to go.

"Uh, yeah, I'm about done, I'll be out in a minute!" You haven't even started getting ready, but you don't have any more time. You quickly raid your closet and find a short v-neck black dress and matching heels. You wiggle into the dress as you make your way into the bathroom. You had planned on straightening your hair, but you have no time, so instead, you brush it back into a sleek low ponytail and spray it with a bit of hairspray. There's no time for the elaborate makeup look you had planned either, so you quickly throw on some concealer, blush, mascara, eyeliner, a bit of highlight, and you're set. As you walk to the door, you grab your purse and slip on your heels, making sure you have your phone and keys. Finn and Julia are already waiting in the car, both with disapproving looks.

"What the fuck took you so long? We were supposed to leave five minutes ago! You know I can't be late for this thing." Finn complains as you slip into the backseat.

"Sorry, I, uhm, don't feel well. A little nauseous." you lie. You don't feel like telling them that you were actually crying about someone you haven't seen or talked to in two and a half years like you do every other night.

"You're not pregnant are you?" Julia chuckles.

"Oh please, we all know that Y/N hasn't gotten any since he who must not be named." Finn replies for you.

"Thanks Finn, what a great friend." you joke sarcastically.

He's not wrong though. Since you and Tom broke up, you haven’t slept with a single person. You’ve been on a few dates and kissed a few guys, but nothing past that. The closest you got was about a month after Tom broke it off with you. You were looking for someone to take your mind off of him, so you found a random guy named David at a pub and took him back to your place. But as soon as he took off his shirt, you saw a birthmark on his back that looked eerily similar to Tom’s, and you promptly broke down crying.

No matter what you do, you just can’t seem to get him off your mind.

"Alright bitches, we're here." Finn sighs. "Help me bring my stuff in, we don't have much time thanks to someone who took ages to get ready."

You give a halfhearted apology as you grab Finn's paintings from the back of his car. Julia stops you before you follow Finn into the venue, "Babe, are you sure you're doing alright?"

You smile lightly, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Okay, if you say so. And sorry about Finn mentioning... him. It's been two years, he should know better."

"Oh, no. No, don't worry about that. It's okay. I don't care." you lie.

She gives you an encouraging nudge on the shoulder, "Hey, who knows, maybe you'll find a hottie here tonight and finally get back out there! What do you think, huh?"

"Yeah, that would be great, actually. Maybe Finn can introduce me to his friend James, I know he's pretty hot." you say just to get her off your back. You know for a fact that you won't be going home with anyone tonight, but you want to ease her conscience, so you continue to lie.

"That's the spirit! Good luck hun, love you."

"Thanks Jules, love you too." you smile.

Halfway through the gala, you already want to go home. Finn is over at the bar flirting with some guy, probably trying to get him to buy his artwork. Meanwhile, Julia has disappeared into the bathroom with her boyfriend Ollie, who she invited about thirty minutes into the event because she "got bored."

You look at your phone and realize it's already midnight, and you know the event won't be ending anytime soon. You slowly make your way over to Finn through the sea of people and tap him on the shoulder, drawing his attention away from whatever guy he's flirting with.

"Hey Y/N, how's it going with James?" he asks excitedly.

"Oh, um, it didn't work out, thanks for introducing me though. I just wanted to come tell you that I'm still not feeling well, so I think I'm gonna head home, sorry."

"Oh, okay, no problem. You're probably gonna be alone tonight though, just a heads up. Jules is going back to Ollie's for the night, and" he starts to whisper, "I think I might be going home with this hunk."

You laugh, "Okay, thanks Finn, see you tomorrow then."

"Bye babe. Do you have a ride?" he questions.

"Uh, no, I'm just gonna Uber home, it's no problem."

Finn gasps, "Not this late at night you're not! Let me drive you, hottie with a body over here can wait."

"No, no, don't let me ruin your night. I'll just call Sam then."

His eyes widen, "Like... his brother Sam?"

"Yeah, we're friends still, it's not a big deal. Trust me."

"Okay, fine. But text me when you get home, okay?"

"Okay, love you Finn, see you later." you give him a quick hug and walk outside to call Sam.

You aren't lying, you and Sam are still good friends. Back when you and Tom were together, Sam was the brother that you were closest to, and you felt that it would be unfair to cut ties with the rest of the Hollands just because Tom was a dick to you seeing as they were as much of a family to you as your own parents were, maybe even more. He was attending culinary school in the area anyway, so you decide he’s the best person to call.

As expected, he's happy to drive you home, and about ten minutes later he arrives at the venue where you are still standing outside.

"Hey Sam, I'm sorry for calling this late, but thank you so much for picking me up." you smile as you slide into the passenger seat.

"It's no problem, I wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. How've you been?"

"Fine, I guess. How about you?"

"C'mon, I know that look. Something's up with you." he pries.

"I told you on the phone, I'm just not feeling well." you lie, hoping he doesn't catch on.

"It's Tom isn't it?"

"How the fuck do you always know?"

He chuckles. "He is my brother, remember? And you're basically my sister too. I've known you both for literally my entire life, so trust me, I know when it's about him."

You sign in defeat, "I don't know why I can't get over him Sam. It's been nearly three years since we broke up, and I haven't seen him since. My roommates think I'm overreacting, and honestly, I'm starting to agree with them. I should be moved on by now, but I just can't stop thinking about him."

"Hey, hey, don't listen to them, you aren't overreacting. You and Tom were literally attached at the hip for twenty two years, and you weren't even dating for most of them. It's completely normal for you to feel like this, trust me. And I know it doesn't help much for me to say this because I've said it a million times before, but Tom's a complete dick for what he did to you. He's my brother, and I love him, but he's a dick."

"Thanks Sam. I just wish I knew why, y'know? Why, after twenty-two fucking years, he just completely cut me out of his life." you feel your eyes brimming with tears.

"I wish I could have an answer for you Y/N, I really do. But I haven't got a clue. Hell, I honestly don't even know if Tom knows why he did it."

You sigh, "Well, he must have had a reason. Plus, he seems to be doing great in Hollywood. He seems perfectly happy without me."

"You've been stalking him on Instagram, haven't you?" Sam chuckles.

You laugh, "Shut up." That's the great thing about Sam. He can always lighten up a situation, no matter how serious or how sad. Tom did the same thing, that was one of the things you liked most about him.

You and Sam sit in silence for a few minutes, until he finally breaks it. "He's not, you know."

"Huh?" you question, confused.

"He's not happy. You said he seems happy without you, but he's not. He's doing terribly, and it's not just from stress or his work. He won't admit it, but he misses you." he pauses, "I know I shouldn't be telling you this, but he asked about you the other day. About how you were doing and shit like that. I think he would take it back if he could."

You want so badly to believe him, belief that Tom actually still cares about you after all this time. But false hope is the last thing you need right now.

"Well, he can't, can he?" you say sharply, tears still threatening to flow out.

You and Sam sit in silence for the last five minutes of the ride back to your apartment. As he slows the car to a stop, Sam looks over at you sympathetically, "Look, I'm sorry if what I said made things worse. I just wanted you to know that your feelings aren't... one-sided I guess."

You know better than to yell at Sam, he was just trying to make you feel better, so instead of spitting out the sarcastic remark that was on your tongue, you manage out a half-hearted, "It's okay, thanks Sam." and shut the car door.

As soon as the door of your apartment closes behind you, all of the emotions come crashing down on you. A mixture of sadness, anger, guilt, and regret crushed your heart, smashing it into a million little pieces. It feels like two and a half years ago, when he first broke up with you, all over again. Everything was fine until Sam brought him up again, and the memories just all flooded back in. You fall to the floor, clutching your chest in pain, wishing someone was here for you. Wishing he was here for you. At the moment, it feels like you have no one. In reality, you do; you have an entire support system of people who love you so much and would do anything to protect you. But you only want him. You need him. He is the only person you have ever wanted, ever needed, and he's gone.

You want to hate him, you really do. He's caused you more pain in the past two and a half years than anyone or anything has ever caused you in your entire life. But you can't. You can never, and will never, hate him. Which makes you hate yourself.

After what feels like hours of crying, you finally calm down. There's no one at home to talk to and it's too late to call anyone at this point, so you flip on the tv. There's nothing good on Netflix or Hulu that you haven't seen yet, so you scroll through the other apps. You remember that you just got a free Apple TV subscription with your new phone, so you check to see what's on there.

And there it is. Cherry.

His face right on the screen in front of you, lighting your dark bedroom red. You know it's a bad idea and you know you'll regret it, but something draws you to watch it. You need him right now, and this is about the closest you're going to get.

It's fine at first. It's actually nice to see his face again after so long. He looks basically the same as the last time you saw him, just a little more mature. You feel good supporting him, even if he doesn't know it.

But then it's not fine. His character had just gotten into a fight with his girlfriend, so she comes to visit him in his apartment. They talk, and eventually he reveals that he joined the army and has to go away for two years.

"It's just a couple years. Just a couple years and a lifetime together." he whispers.

Then it all hits you, and you break down crying once again. You can't help but think back to that night in the treehouse, and how the conversation is so eerily similar. You wonder if Tom was thinking about it too, while he was filming the scene. Obviously, the circumstances were different, but it still makes you wonder.

You quickly shut the TV off, unable to bear it anymore. With nothing else to do, you try to sleep, but your thoughts keep you up. And as much as you try to fight it, your mind drifts back to the day you so badly want to forget. The day that it all ended.

"Hey, Tommy, what's up? I'm excited to see you tonight!" you pick up the phone. Tom is supposed to come back to London after filming his first solo Spiderman movie, and you could not be more excited to see him. It's been almost a full year since he left for America, and you miss him so much.

"Yea, uhm, about that. Plans have, er, changed a bit." you can hear the solemn tone in his voice.

"Oh no, what happened? Did your flight get delayed or something? I know there's some rough weather in Atlanta, but I didn't realize it was that bad."

"No, no, it's not that. I don't really know how to say this," he sighs, "I'm not coming home."

Your heart drops to your stomach. "What?"

"Yeah. I'm, um, I'm staying in America for now. I found a house in LA, it's nice."

"Well when are you coming back then?" you utter in disbelief.

"Not anytime soon. I have work, so it's just easier for me to be in America. I'm sorry." his tone is stiff.

"But what about us? I miss you so much, these past few months have already been hell for me. I don't think I can survive much longer without seeing you."

No response.

"Tom, are you still there? You know I can't move in with you. I'm already enrolled in university here in London, I can't drop everything and come to America if that's what you want."

"That's not what I want." At this point he seems to have no emotion in his voice, as if he's reading directly from a script.

"So then what do you want?" you start to really worry, tears already stinging your eyes.

"I think you can probably figure that out by now, Y/N."

"Tom, no. You seriously can't be thinking-"

"Yeah, I am thinking that. You've already said that these past few months have been hell, and I'm too busy with work, so I think that's the only option."

You plead with him, "Tom, please! We can figure this out, I love you so much. We can't break up Tom, I can't lose you." You're sobbing at this point, scared to lose the one person you need the most.

"No, we can't figure this out. We have to break up, there's no other choice."

"What happened to you and me forever? That- that night in the treehouse you said you wouldn't let anything come between us!"

"We were kids, Y/N! We had no idea what our lives were going to turn out like. That was a stupid thing to say and I never should have said it, okay? You can't keep every promise you make, especially when you're eighteen. But we're mature adults now, and the mature way to handle this is to break up. Understand?" His voice is booming through your phone speaker, and it's nothing you've ever heard come from him before. He was always calm, looking for a way to work things out. But now, he's completely giving up.

"Tom, please, I-"

"No, Y/N, I don't have time for this right now, I'm sorry. Goodbye."

He hung up. He's gone.

That was the last time you spoke to him. You didn't even get to properly say goodbye, let alone see his face before he was gone forever.

Unbeknownst to you, that phone call is still, to this day, Tom's biggest regret. Almost immediately after he hung up, he wished he had never called you in the first place. He was stressed from work, he was angry at his management team for making him stay in America, but most of all he missed you. So he did the only thing he could think of to take it all away - separate himself from you. He thought that if he broke up with you, he would feel better about his career choices and he wouldn’t have to wwc:orry about missing you anymore because it would be over.

He was wrong.

Every day since then, he’s wanted to call you, text, you, or somehow contact you to apologize; explain why he did what he did and how he still loves you, still needs you, still misses you every second of his life. But he knows he can’t. You would never be able to forgive him for breaking it all off so suddenly. There’s no way in hell you could still love him after something like that.

So he’s stayed out of reach from you for good. And he hopes that maybe one day he’ll be able to move on, find someone new like you’ve probably done by now. But deep down he knows he never will.

You’re still unable to sleep, and now that it’s almost four in the morning, you decide that you probably won’t be able to for the rest of the night. Not knowing what else’s to do, you begrudgingly roll out of bed and go to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. As you fill up your mug with warm water, you hear a knock at the door.

Who the fuck would be coming to your apartment this early? You suspect it’s Finn, as he always manages to forget his key. Maybe his night with the mystery bar hunk didn’t go as well as he had planned. You quickly set a tea bag in your mug and walk to open the door.

“Back so soon Fi... what the fuck.” your heart drops to your stomach.

It’s him. The same brown-haired, brown-eyed, British boy that you remember, staring down at you from outside your apartment at four in the morning.

“Hey.”

~~~~~~~~

tags: @pxkajesus @roseke @agentsofparker @lifeasjazzz @damnrancidchicken @tomhoelland01 @iwannabekilledtwice @rafehogwarts @non-eexistent @rosiexx8 @nearlydanger9 @realityisabitch07 @midgardassassins @jbreenr @cap-marvxl @ellesmythe @deepestcolorgiantopera @that-one-person @nevertrustapanda16 @rxmanxff @bubbleskz @quinn-spn58 @idkkkkaaw @aayaissaa @pjmjams @tiredstudenttrinity @isabella-bby @hollandprkr @pure-ghost @ladykxxx08 @white-wolf1940 @runawayolives @geekgirleve @thathurtbrolol @lost-girl24 @justafangirlduh @emistrash @writingrem @hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @mathletemadison @paulaabellag @miraclesoflove @captainamirica @mlmarint @quaksonhehe @laneybobeczko-g @peterspideysense @hollandstanevans @anna-sofia

[iphoenixrising]

DickTimWeek2021 Day 2

** Day 2: Time Loop | Jealousy | Stray AU

Welp. Time to break some hearts.

They’re laughing like assholes as they climb through Timmy’s penthouse windows. 

“Did you see that thug punch himself in the face?”

“That’s the right way to get out of an ass beating by the Batman.”

Tim, still in Red Robin, doesn’t even bother, just lets his knees buckle so he can slide down to the floor and laugh until tears are rolling down the dominio still plastered on his face.

He’s riding the concussion train with 

(J)

Josephine and she’s not as bad as some of them are. 

Dick at least tosses the gloves and gauntlets before hauling Timmy’s bruised ass up off the floor, throwing the arm around his shoulders.

“C’mon, you butt. Really Timmy, just laying here in your suit? Alfred would be appalled.”

“S’why I don’t go to the Manor much anymore.”

“Ooh, I’m telling. You’re going to be in so much trouble,” as he gets Tim down the hallway to the bathroom.

“Y-You can’t! You’re the oldest! Dami’s supposed to be the tattle-tale!”

“Nu-uh. As the oldest, I can do whatever the hell I want.”

And does he tell on Timmy? You bet your ass he does.

It’s nice when Alfred can look at someone else in the family with extreme disappointment.

Tim comes by the Manor the day Alfred video chats him, shuffles down to the Cave behind the butler and absolutely sticks his tongue out at Dick’s smarmy grin.

**

His apartment is a literal mess and Dick can’t be bothered to do much more than flop on the overstuffed couch with a groan. 

Still in his uni from the day shift, he’s too bruised and battered and tired to even think of suiting up for the night. He’s been running himself ragged for two months, the day and night shifts blending together along with the usual bullshit of daily human life, and he desperately needs a night of terrible television, junk food, and snuggles.

Like he’d been reading the room, Timmy walks out of his bathroom, towel around his shoulder and hair just this side of damp.

“Hey, you made it home in one piece.” Tim’s long fingers in his hair literally pulls a noise out of Dick he can’t ever remember making.

“Yeah, I drove down because you looked like death warmed over when we talked last weekend. Luckily for you I went grocery shopping, did a few loads of your laundry, and cleaned up a little so you don’t have to worry about housework.”

“I love you. Have I told you that recently? Like, so, so much–” is muffled by the couch cushions, but he thinks Tim can probably still make it all out.

“Mmhm, I know,” and the gentle scratching against his scalp doesn’t stop, and Dick goes a little boneless with it. “I even brought my Roku so we can binge watch terrible television while you eat something more substantial than cereal. Alfred is going to be so proud of you.”

A pat to his head and Timmy is off, slinging his towel on the rack, turning on the shower again to make sure it’s nice and hot for all those bruises and contusions.

He’s no-nonsense about picking up his previous mentor and best friend, literally stripping him down and manhandling him in the shower after a low whistle at the span of blue/black across Dick’s chest and ribs, the scrapes across his back and shoulders. 

The first aid kit tackle box makes an appearance because Tim plans for literally everything ever, and Dick finds himself sitting on his sink wearily while his injuries are meticulously treated.

He knows he eats something super tasty with meat and vegetables, his belly full, before Tim pulls him down on the couch and lets Dick lay against his chest, between his legs to sleepily float while watching God-awful B-movies.

It’s the most relaxing weekend he’s had in a while.

**

Dami sneers at Tim, arms crossed over his chest, the expression on his face begging Tim to try to deny it.

The third Robin however, is looking over at Dick with horror that the big secret is finally out in the open.

“Th-that isn’t– it’s not–” Tim fumbles desperately, “he’s been my big brother forever, that’s it!”

“Tt. Grayson may be painfully oblivious, Drake, but the rest of us are detectives. Even Todd knows of your feelings and he rarely even comes to the Manor!”

Tim’s soul literally leaves his body.

Dick blinks, completely taken back, mouth open without anything coming out.

Damian raises his eyes skyward and prays for patients dealing with these two. “What I am saying,” he tries, he really is trying here, “is that you two must cease and desist this pointless–” vague hand wave– “pining for one another. It is getting to the point of absurdity. I demand you two either discuss your need for one another or take this ridiculous mooning elsewhere. The rooftops of Gotham is no place for this,” another hand wave, “utter nonsense.”

Tim’s mouth goes dry, subtly backing away to be closer to the Ducati’s waiting for tonight’s ride. He’s pretty sure he has enough energy left in his shaky knees to hop on one and be the fuck out of the Cave before his face literally bursts into flames.

But, well. Dick was Batman.

His strategic retreat is stomped into the ground by acrobatic leaps and a very well done joint lock to keep him from immediately taking off.

Dami scoffs at them on his way up the winding staircase. He stops Pennyworth on the way and turns the butler to return back into the Manor proper, citing those two needed time to figure themselves out.

**

After several weeks under deep cover, Nightwing wearily hacks into Titan’s Tower and makes his way through the maze of hallways until he hits a hidden panel. 

Tim is sleeping on his desk, only one empty coffee mug at his workstation. Even dead in his boots, Nightwing can take a second just to look, just to sigh, just to enjoy how much every inch of this boy is his.

He journeys down the hall, flips the bed covers up, carries his sleeping partner in and tucks the blankets around him, a quickly there kiss to the top of messy, too-long hair. A shower in Tim’s perch literally makes everything in life a little less awful and exhausting, not enough for him to do much more than crawl in bed against Tim’s warm body and snuggle up close.

He gets breakfast in bed and blue-violet eyes looking at him with fondness rather than awe, gets coffee flavored kisses and a slow-paced back rub that continues down to his thighs and calves and feet. Later, he gets a date night in a nice restaurant and a sweet San Fran club scene for dessert. He gets to let loose and hold Tim’s body against him, to play them both until the gazes are intense and the low key UST between them makes other people on the dance floor give them space.

**

Witty banter is a primary weapon against megalomaniacal bad guys of any flavor. For some former Robins, it’s an art form.

Over the years, they’ve cultivated their dip and distraction to bounce off one another like a well-oiled vigilante machine. 

It should have been a standard take-down because it’s not one of their more dangerous, deadly villains. It’s not one of the Rogue Gallery baddies. It’s not one of the mobster families, not one of the super powered groups come to call. It’s not someone with hordes of thugs and deadly science waiting to take them down.

It’s a simple B&E, just Nightwing talking it up to draw gunfire while Red Robin is creeping up from behind to get the last laugh.

It’s one of a thousand times they’ve done this. 

It’s a guaranteed win.

It’s the last hour of patrol before they get to go back to Red’s penthouse and snuggle together, eat and show, probably have some fantastic sex before passing out.

The .45 shell, however, cuts through the suit, between armored plates. 

Going after the running baddies is automatic, taking them down, zip ties, and viola. They’re ready for GCPD to pick-up, all kinds of gift-wrapped.

When N finally realizes Red isn’t with him, isn’t answering comms, isn’t waiting for him on the roof, he goes back inside. He hits up B for a ride in the big car in case he missed –

– anything.

The pool of blood around Red Robin is more than he can afford to lose, and Nightwing has been in the vigilante life for over twenty years, has been official with Red Robin for a little over two, has personal experience on how his Baby Bird can take a mostly-fatal beating and still keep moving. He’s seen Tim come close with the Clench, with horrifying injuries, with any of the many bad guys they fight holding him hostage.

Nightwing has seen him perform literal miracles.

And tells him so the entire time he’s got Red Robin up in his arms, carrying him through Gotham’s skyline to the waiting car, falling in with Red on his lap when the familiar hatch slides back, the tourniquet already applied before he even shot a grapple. The struggling pulse is enough of a concern to get it together.

And even if they all gather to strip off the suit, and now it’s on to get vitals back to an acceptable range. Even if the Bats cry overhead, even if the equipment is top notch in the Cave, even if Dick is still talking the whole time, and Alfred is keeping a cool head and Bruce is gripping a hand and Damian is standing at the ready to hand implements and Cass is biting her thumbnail while she hovers and Steph is moving from empty space to empty space around the gurney –

The consistent beep of the flatline cuts through it all.

**

The Titans make it for the service. 

Each of them make a point to hug Dick for as long as possible, holding on tightly.

Bruce is silent and stoic, a little boy again when he has to watch someone else he loves being lowered into the cold, unforgiving ground. Another Robin taking a piece of his heart to the afterlife. 

Steph is red-eyed, a ghost moving around to individual circles, listening to stories she might not have known. 

Cass grips the coffin with bruised knuckles, her whole body wound tight as a string ready to snap. She doesn’t move the entire service, is already convinced leaving him to his own devices caused this whole thing. She doesn’t blame the thugs or Dick or Bruce. She blames the boy that never understood how much it all means.

Duke Thomas is back in Gotham, taking leave from the Outsiders to be here for the family that took him in after the Joker drove his parents insane. He hovers in the doorway to welcome mourners, direct them toward the book to sign-in, talks about Tim Drake with regular humans and other metas in disguise, accepts condolences with his throat tight and his eyes watery. He makes sure Dick has a bottle of water after the first hour, pats Damian’s shoulder, grips Bruce’s arm, weaves an arm around Cassandra’s back to give her a squeeze, obediently looks at the old pictures of Tim on Steph’s photo roll when she’s overcome and has to see that smile again.

In the back, Jason Todd wears dark shades and a clean black suit. Roy Harper is beside him, a hand on the broad back to keep him grounded, to keep the Pit rage at bay. If anyone knows how far Tim and Jason had come over the years, it’s the former Red Arrow. If anyone knows how much agony Jason is in at this moment, at another fallen brother, another Robin gone, if anyone had held the Red Hood while he screamed and cried and broke the utter fuck down, it’s Roy Harper.

Damian Wayne hovers right by Grayson’s side, silently supporting his first Batman, his first brother. Whenever Dick’s eyes start going hazy, glazing over, Damian gently grips a wrist to bring him back, allows fingers to lace through his own and tolerates the tight squeeze that obviously assists in grounding the oldest Robin. 

(Later when the night is crowding grief-stricken Wayne Manor, Damian will be the one to open Grayson’s bedroom door, lift the covers to crawl in behind him, to wind both arms tightly. He will be the one to take the onslaught of grief, to be soaked in tears and snot, to listen to the broken, hoarse voice, to make soothing hums that ultimately mean nothing.)

Alfred Pennyworth quietly talks with the funeral director about the arrangements. Of course Master Timothy would want to be laid to rest with his parents, and the family appreciates all the support and ease of process as the deceased was an important part of the Wayne family. 

When he gets a phone call, he firmly verifies the name on the tombstone is Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne Grayson.

**

Exactly four days after the service, the Flash is staring at him helplessly, gripping Nightwing’s arm tight, “please, please, Dick, don’t do this. You can’t think this is the answer!”

He can barely hear Wally with the absolute destruction going on around them, the machine they’d inadvertently stumbled upon (which is a lie, Nightwing had been looking for it and the Flash basically caught him red handed). 

“You know you aren’t going to be able to stop me.” Standing between the glowing portal and Wally, debris from overhead crashing down on them at intervals, Nightwing is at his peak stubborn, “no matter how fast you are.”

“You don’t understand what’s going to happen,” Wally yells desperately as the vacuum starts pulling at Nightwing’s other arm, pulling him into–

–the Speed Force.

“You don’t have the lightning, Dick, you won’t be able to get yourself out, and I won’t have any way of tracking you!”

The small smirk as the machine’s panel starts going haywire, lights blinking and readings off the charts, makes Wally’s heart clench hard in his chest, makes him try to dig in his heels, makes his stomach tremble.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve already done this, Wally. And I’ll do it as many times as it takes until I change everything.”

The pellet Nightwing palmed before the Flash grabbed his hand goes off the same time the machine hits the highest ratings and a low boom is followed up with an intense swirling suction, pulling the heroes closer to the portal’s surface.

The light grenade goes off without a hitch and the Flash has no choice but to let Nightwing go.

**

They’re laughing like assholes as they climb through Timmy’s penthouse windows. 

[storiesforallfandoms]

sister’s approval ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 1415

request?: yes!

“Machine gun Kelly x female reader. The reader is Kells younger sister who’s a singer and who’s really close to kells. When kells and Megan start dating people start saying how Megan is trying to push her out of kells life, trying to make kells forget about his sister even though Megan and kells sister immediately became best friends when kells introduced them. She finally has enough of people saying stuff about Megan and she posts on social media saying that she’s tired of people saying stuff that isn’t true and that her and Megan are best friends and she doesn’t hate Megan and that she’s really happy that her brother found someone as amazing as Megan. Please and thank you”

description: in which the tabloids are trying to paint her brother’s girlfriend as a bad person, so she decides to set the record straight

pairing: machine gun kelly x sister!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

She ran right past her brother and immediately tackled his girlfriend instead. Megan chuckled and hugged (Y/N) back as Colson watched with amusement.

“Good to see you too, sis,” he said.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re cool I guess,” (Y/N) said, waving Colson’s comment away. “We both know I’m here for Megan.”

“Weird, I thought you were here to record a song with me.”

“That’s like the side quest, the main mission is Megan.”

Colson rolled his eyes. (Y/N) made her way to his home studio, basically making herself at home in his house.

Despite both of them being in the music business for over 10 years, neither of the Baker siblings had ever done a song together. With the production of his next album, Colson insisted that (Y/N) made a feature on the album. She said yes on the condition that they both kept it an absolute secret until it was released to which Colson agreed.

(Y/N) threw herself down onto the couch in Colson’s home studio and pulled her songwriting notebook from her bag. “I have a few different verses written just because when I started writing I couldn’t stop. You choose one that sounds best with the rest of the song.”

“I’m sure all of them would work.

“Yeah but we can’t do a six verse song, that’s just too long. Pick one and I’ll use the others for a different song.”

Colson took the notebook and read through the verses. (Y/N) took her phone to look through social media while he read them. Megan was sat next to her, sending each other 8 Ball games back and forth between social media sessions.

After scrolling through Instagram for a while, (Y/N) switched to Twitter to find her own name trending. Confused, she clicked it to find an article at the top of the trend. The title read: “MGK blows off sister again! The rapper stands up (Y/N) for Megan Fox yet again”, accompanied by a picture of (Y/N) sat alone outside of a restaurant.

She didn’t have to read the rest of the article to know it was bullshit. The picture was of (Y/N) waiting on a friend outside the restaurant, not Colson, and the headline was so false that (Y/N)’s hands started to shake.

“(Y/N)? You good?”

Colson’s voice brought (Y/N) out of her enraged trance. She looked up to see him and Megan looking at her, expectantly.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she responded. However, another brief glance at her phone brought her anger back. “Actually, no, I’m not. I’ll be right back.”

She got up and walked out of the studio. She went to the living room, far enough away that she knew they wouldn’t be able to hear her as she filmed her video.

The press had been trying to pin (Y/B) and Megan against one another since she and Colson started dating. (Y/N) and Colson had always been close, but once Colson started dating Megan, the paparazzi started taking pictures of just the two of them or just (Y/N), totally ignoring the fact that (Y/N) was constantly posting pictures and tweets about Megan, and that all three of them spent time together often.

(Y/N) had had enough of the lies and the clickbait just to make Megan and Colson look like bad people. She was about to set the record straight, whether people wanted to hear it and believe it or not.

She switched her phone to Instagram again and went to her story. She held her phone up so that she was framed perfectly in the shot and held down on the button to begin recording.

“Hey everyone! I just wanted to address something really quick,” she started. She held the phone out so that the camera would pick up the background. “You see this behind me? This living room I’m in? This is Colson’s living room, because I am in Colson’s house. I am here spending time with him and with Megan, as I do almost every day. I am bringing this up because I just saw yet another article trying to make it out as if Colson has stopped spending time with me due to Megan. These articles are nothing but clickbait and lies to try and grab reader’s attention, especially the attention of my fans.

“Colson and I have not had any sort of falling out. There are no ill wishes from me towards Megan, and vice versa. In fact, Megan is my best friend. I like her more than I like Colson. And no, Colson has not stood me up or dumped me for Megan. Does he like to have his alone time with her? Of course! All couples do! But we still spend time together and we still talk to one another. There’s no bad blood between any of us. To the tabloids that have been spewing this bullshit for nearly a year now, I’d like for you all to kindly and politely shut the fuck up and move on. If I keep seeing this slander about my family, I will not hesitate to take legal action. To any of my fans who actually believe this and are sending hateful messages to Colson and Megan, I also beg you to stop. They are my family, and by hurting them you are hurting me. Whether you choose to believe this video or not is totally up to you, but this is the truth. All three of us, we’re a family. So fuck off of my family.”

(Y/N)’s hands were still shaking as she pressed “post”. She watched the videos load one by one before they were all posted to her story. The moment they went up, the views came flooding in, as did the positive messages. Many of her fans sent her private messages in response to the story, telling her they were sorry that she and Colson had to deal with that and assuring her that the real fans knew there was no ill intentions between the three of them.

Satisfied that she had finally gotten that off her chest, (Y/N) went to Colson’s kitchen and poured herself a glass of water before going back to the home studio. As she walked through the door, both Colson and Megan’s heads turned to look at her.

“Did you guys want water, too?” she asked, trying to lighten the mood.

“You could’ve told us you were going to film that video,” Colson said. “We could’ve addressed the rumors, too.”

(Y/N) sighed and took her spot on the couch again. “I know that, but I felt like it had to be me addressing it. I was the one being made out to be a victim. If you guys said anything before I did, everyone would just think you’re trying to cover your own asses. You can make statements if you want, but I felt like I had to be the first one to speak up about this.”

“She’s right,” Megan agreed. “If we came out about it first it would just be fuel to the tabloid’s fire. Although, I don’t think we should have to make any sort of statement about it. The fact that anyone believes that shit makes no sense to me.”

“People like to demonize celebrities they don’t like,” (Y/N) responded. “Whether it’s true or not. Chances are that video will be taken out of context to fit their agenda, but whatever. I said my piece, I’m moving on.” She nodded to her notebook in Colson’s hand. “Did you choose a verse?”

Colson looked down at the notebook before passing it back to (Y/N). “They’re all really good, so I thought maybe, instead of one single, we do an entire album together.”

(Y/N)’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? Like you actually wanna do that?”

Colson nodded. “Yeah! I think it’ll be a fun surprise to both of our fanbases, and it’ll definitely make up for the last ten years where we haven’t worked together.”

(Y/N) was basically bouncing with excitement. “Oh my God, this album is gonna be so fucking awesome! We should give it a really cheesy name, like Baker’s Dozen.”

“No,” Colson said.

“Yes!” Megan retorted.

“Two against one, it’s being called Baker’s Dozen,” (Y/N) decided. She and Megan high fived while Colson buried his head in his hands and let out a groan.

[thetaoofzoe]

Fic: Ethan Hunt Must Die 1/1

Pairing: August Walker x YOU

Word Count: 10,420

Summary: You are a medic and a member of what’s left of  The Apostles. And it’s not rumour anymore. August Walker is definitely not dead. All you want to do is help him with his cause, kill those responsible for his grave injuries (and foiling his manifesto) and make Ethan Hunt pay. Falling in love with August Walker is just a given ;)

Rating: Mature to Explicit some Violence, sex and fluff and yearning and impetuous kisses, explosions and delicious August Walker.  And, this story is not as serious as it may appear, so have fun reading.

Note: If you have been around you’ve seen the original iteration of this story, but maybe not in its entirety. It was originally broken up into 10 parts as A Month of August Walker Challenge. Now, in all of its revamped glory is the complete story all in one place.  

Want to read more? Click for my Masterlist

Your contact was a pleasant woman. She’d collected you from the tiny airport in Kashmir and on the way to your destination, she’d offered to buy snack food for you from a nearby shop.

‘The cabin is fully stocked,’ she reasoned pointing to the squat building by the side of the road, ‘but in case you want a Coke or something.’

You did want a Coke in fact and you took her up on the offer. Along with a few cans of cola you grabbed other items – chocolate bars, fishing tackle, and feminine hygiene products. You didn’t know how long you were going to be out there in the middle of nowhere, and you didn’t want to use up the precious bog roll when your cycle eventually came.

The woman was leaning against the side of the battered truck and smoking a cigarette when you stepped out of the shop. Eyeing your purchases, she nodded with approval.

‘Good idea,’ she said, making a vague gesture towards you with her cigarette. ‘We didn’t think about a woman’s needs during such a long excursion. Next time. There are all sorts of painkillers in the stocks though… just so you are aware.’

She put a gloved hand on her lower belly and laughed a little.

‘I know how it can get.’

You smiled, grateful to be sharing this moment with her, woman to woman, and thanked her before getting back into the truck.

‘Is there gonna be a next time?’ you asked, sweeping the seatbelt across your chest and clicking it into place.

She didn’t look at you as she started the truck and set off down the road.

‘I hope this is the last, ‘ she said finally and as it seemed like such a struggle for her to come up with an answer that she seemed satisfied with, you didn’t continue to press the matter.

Settling into the seat, you unwrapped a chocolate bar, and with three large bites, had it stuffed into your mouth. The salty chocolate and nougat were glorious and you moulded the sweet wad into the roof of your mouth so that you could savour it with slow licks.  You folded the plastic-coated wrapper into a small square and tucked it in your jacket pocket.

The woman drove along the rough frosty mountain roads as if you two were being chased. She didn’t seem at all phased with how the truck bounced and jumped dangerously close to the edge of the cliff, as if one wrong turn of the wheel wouldn’t send the two of you plunging down into the river below.

That imagery triggered sudden rage in you.

Goddamn you, Ethan Hunt, you thought.

You wanted just two minutes alone with Hunt to make him regret having ever laid eyes on August Walker. Hunt deserved nothing but a long slow torturous death.

Ever since the incident, The Apostles had been split on what to do regarding  August Walker. Should he be left out there and forgotten? Or should his remains be recovered and given a proper burial?

The thought that there was nothing left to recover prevailed until reports that August had survived the fall started trickling in. With this new knowledge, it was impossible to prevent the uprising that voted to scour the mountains to find him. This time, your only mission was to man the cabin in the event one of the search teams found him.

‘Not far to the cabin. Ayami is apart of the search team. You know her, yes?’ asked the woman.

‘Yes. I know her.’

‘Good, Ayami planned all of this, coordinated us, and was able to pinpoint a location not far from this cabin.’

Not enough planning for a menstrual cycle, you thought, petulantly.

‘It will work out,’ she continued and nodded. ‘He will be found.’

‘This is the third time someone has,’ you made inverted commas in the air with your fingers, ‘pinpointed his location, only to run into IMF lies. We are wasting precious time. August is alive and we need to find him.’

The woman drove on in silence for a moment.

‘I agree with you, yes. I agree. But what do you suggest that we do? If not this.’

You relented and sighed. You had no idea what to do other than this.

‘If I could snap my fingers…’

You clicked your fingers and she chuckled, clicking hers as well.

‘He would be safe with us,’ she finished for you.

A half hour later, she slowed and finally stopped the truck and pointed through the windscreen at what looked like a stack of fallen trees.

‘Unfortunately, my friend,’ she said. ‘There is a way to drive up to the cabin. However, it is many, many kilometres that way and petrol for me is hard to come by right. It’s easier to drop you here and you take the trail. It’s only a few hours hike.’

You grabbed your rucksack from the foot well, reached over and one-arm hugged the woman and then got out. She did a wide circle turn around and pulled the truck up to where you stood.

‘Good luck, my friend. And take care.’

‘Take care,’ you said. ‘See you soon.’

She gave you a two-fingered salute and drove away.

**

It was cold that far up in the mountains and the beginning of the trail looked desolate. Securing your rucksack on your back, you began your long trek, and the cabin was a welcome sight after hours of navigating the rocky hard terrain.  Inside was small and utilitarian, but it was more than enough for you. You didn’t bother to take off your boots before falling onto the cot and into a deep exhausted sleep.

In the morning, you took stock of your surroundings. The cabin was pretty well-appointed with a wood stove, a table with two chairs, an amazingly comfortable cot and stacks and stacks of supplies. The gold-painted metal ammo closet in the back was comforting to see and you were going to familarise yourself with its contents later. But first, breakfast.

You got up to make coffee and noticed a medium-sized cardboard box sitting on the small dining table by the stove. There was a note.

‘Your name was given to me at the last moment. Here are some things you may need.’

And it was signed, ‘Ayami’.

You slit open the box with your pocket knife and laughed when you saw the contents. Ayami had packaged not only tampons and pads but several different styles of menstrual cups for you and you felt guilty for earlier, being such a brat about the supplies you needed.

‘You planned everything, Ayami,’ you said aloud to the empty room. ‘Thank you.’

You lit the fire in the stove and put a pot on to boil some water. A noise outside pricked your ears. It sounded like the heavy motor of an ATV and out of the noise you picked out the sounds of other engines drawing closer.

Shit! you thought, rushing to the ammo closet at the back of the cabin.

Flinging open the doors, you dragged out a single barrel shotgun, loaded it, and scrambled back to the front cabin door. Peering out through the narrow window you watched as several four-wheelers and one battered Land Rover raced towards the cabin. In a cloud of kicked up dirt and dust, the Rover drove straight up to the door and to your absolute surprise, the passenger door popped open and Ayami jumped out.

You opened the cabin door and came out.

‘Good!’ she shouted over the noise of the engines. ‘You’re here. Get the first aid boxes ready, now!’

You were a medic and understood the urgency in her tone. You ran back to the cabin and were piling bandages, antiseptics, and other items on the table when three men carried in a limp body between them. Ayami strode across the room and captured you in a hug.

‘I am happy to see you,’ she gasped breathlessly and grabbed your hands. ‘We found him!’

With heart crashing against your ribs, you looked to the man being stretched on the cot as Ayami continued.

Oh God… they found him.

‘Somehow some wanderers discovered him months ago and took him in.’

She trailed off and shook her head. She still seemed to be in shock.

‘Doesn’t matter,’ you told her and squeezed her hands. ‘We’re looking after him now. Radio in for helicopter transport. It may take a few days to get someone out here.’

You cleaned your hands and went to assess the situation. August was alive and badly burned, but gladly not beyond your repair. Ayami came back into the cabin after making the call and joined you at the bed.

‘You planned all of this, Ayami,’ you said. ‘You made this happen. What’re our next step?’

Ayami put her hand on your shoulder and smiled viciously.

‘To make Ethan Hunt pay.’

**

You were wrong.

It didn’t take a few days for the helicopter to arrive. It took two weeks. Although the cabin was well stocked and had nearly everything you needed to tend to August’s wounds, it wasn’t enough.

Ayami wanted to leave and take August the long way through the mountains. They had the power to transport him over land and it was fucking stupid to leave him at the cabin to succumb to something that could be fixed. His body was fighting a raging infection and frankly, he was losing. You explained to her your reasons for why it would be tough on August to try to drive with him through such hard terrain.  He was in a fragile state and jostling him all around in an unstable car could exacerbate any internal injuries. A chopper ride would be better.

Ayami understood that, however…

‘We’ve got plenty of antibiotics,’ she said reasonably. ‘Why can’t we give him some?’

‘Because we don’t know what he has. He could have a bacterial or viral infection and just picking something to give him might do more harm than good. I don’t want to take that risk.’

It wasn’t as if you didn’t want to pump him full of all of the pills you had, just to scattershot the infection, but incorrectly dosing him, in his weakened state,   might kill him. August Walker was alive and you were going to keep him that way.

So you did your best. With Ayami’s help, you kept him clean and dry and in order to manage his temperature, iced. August, however, foiled your attempts to tend to him effectively. He was delirious and unaware of  what was happening to him. More than once you had to extract yourself from his vice-like grip as he held onto you and growled guttural threats of violence to your person. All you could do was try to soothe him and mop his brow and use the aspirin to dull his obvious pain.

**

During the wait for air transport, you stayed up some nights with August. Sometimes you just sat at his bedside and read by the light of your headlamp. Sometimes you just watched him, held his hand and stroked his hair when nightmares haunted his sleep.

He would heal pretty well, you observed, and, without too much lasting damage to his face. He was fortunate that the hot oil missed his eye, although it ruined his ear. But you knew that too could be reconstructed.

‘We’re gonna get you back on your feet, August,’ you murmured on those nights when he was at his most fitful. ‘And we’re gonna get those people who did this to you.’

Even though you weren’t sure he could even hear you speaking, you continued to encourage and comfort him.  It was the least you could do.

**

‘You met John Lark before?’ Ayami asked over breakfast one morning, using August’s real name for the first time.

‘When he was going by John Lark?’ you asked for clarification and she nodded. ‘No. Not then. He had already assumed the new identity and was in the CIA when I turned up.’

‘He was not always like this,’ she said a bit cryptically.

‘How was he?’

Interest sparked in you.

She shook her head.

‘Just different. Maybe he’ll tell you someday.’

Ayami smiled at you and you turned, alerted by the soft groan coming from the bed.

‘Oh God, he’s waking up again,’ she chuckled and then asked you, ‘Top or bottom.’

You laughed inspite of yourself and gave the choice a moment’s thought. ‘Top’ meant that you got to administer medication, clean up his face and check his bandages, while ‘bottom’ meant that you would have to wrestle with his strong flailing arms and risk getting punched in the face. Ayami looked at you expectantly and you grimaced.

‘I had top last time, so…’

She smiled and got up, patting your arm in passing. ‘Then you get top this time.’

‘Ayami, c’mon,’ you protested rising from the chair. ‘I don’t want to be unfair.’

‘Yeah, sure,’ she said lifting her arms and flexing her biceps. ‘But, I need my workout.’

**

Ayami needed to stay in Kashmir to tie up some loose ends. So, you said your farewells and parted company when the chopper transport finally arrived.

You, on the other hand, were headed to New Delhi where another contact would meet and relieve you of your August-sitting duties.

Exhausted and battered, it was just after midnight when you finally arrived at the airport.  Out through the cloudy bubble heli-window, you saw the second contact rush to the settling helicopter. You unlatched an dragged open the side door.

‘Hello!’ he shouted over the roar of the blades overhead. ‘It’s Janus. You can come with me!’

‘Where am I going?’ you shouted back, not moving from where you were sitting next to August’s prone body.

He was still blissfully unconscious and sleeping quietly.

‘There is a safehouse here. You can rest. We will transport Walker to the small plane over there and continue on to London.’

You shook your head and were able to speak normally when the blades finally shuddered to a stop.

‘I’ll go on,’ you told Janus. ‘I’ll go on, it’s ok. I’ll stay with him.’

Janus looked puzzled.

‘No, you are to go to the safe house. I am to continue on.’

You had come this far. You weren’t going to leave August, so you again declined the offer of a trade.

‘Now. Come on. I’m not going to quibble with you,’ you said, kicking open the other door so that the two men accompanying Janus could wrangle the stretcher out of the chopper.

You watched them carry August off and jumping out of the heli, you turned to Janus.

‘Be well, my friend. But I’ve got it.’

Janus shrugged a little and nodded, seeing that you weren’t going to be swayed.

‘Is it really him?’ he asked and you could hear relief seeping into his voice.

You put your arms around him in a farewell hug.

‘It is,’ you said. ‘You have Ayami to thank for that. Make sure that you do.’

You ran after the two men carrying the stretcher. The men secured the stretcher inside and turned to help you into the back of the plane. You pulled closed the small plane’s door and made sure that August was securely strapped in. It was going to be another long ride to the final safe house.

**

It was raining in London, and as the small plane approached, the cool precipitation rinsed away grey foggy clouds to reveal the golden city. Through your headset, you listened to the pilot talk to air traffic control and learned that you were headed to Blackbushe Airport.

‘How far is the safe house from the airport?’ you asked the pilot.

‘Not far. Maybe 20 kilometers. Not far.’  

You were so ready to put your feet on land that you closed your eyes and envisioned a soft bed, a hot meal, and an even hotter bath. Glancing down at the still sleeping man on the stretcher at your feet, you felt a rise of tender feelings in your heart. Not only had your team recovered August Walker, alive, but you had a personal hand in his convalescence.  Reaching down, you touched his face. He felt hot, but not as feverish as before and you were relieved. Elevated fevers for sustained periods of time were dangerous and although he wasn’t out of the woods yet, he was better. You brushed a curl of brown hair off of his forehead and smoothed the edge of your thumb across his eyebrow. Yes, he was going to heal well and regain his strength to be able to fight another day.

Blackbushe Airport was small but efficient and there was a black, solid paneled van waiting for you. You helped the men with the stretcher and once August had been secured, you pulled yourself into the offered front passenger seat.  The driver nodded to acknowledge your presence and you put on your seatbelt as the van drove off.

Someone tapping on the window jarred you from the nap you didn’t realise you had fallen into. With a wet grunt, you sat up, reflexively swiped the back of your hand across your mouth, and dried the drool which had pooled in the corner. Hand still to your mouth, you shifted to look through the window. It was the driver and he made a gesture for you to get out.

You nodded to show that you understood and he moved off. Behind you in the cargo part of the van, you could hear men talking and then sounds of strain when they lifted the stretcher. Even unconscious, August wasn’t for the weak or fainthearted. You chuckled at your own analogy, unclipped the seatbelt and opened the door. Your legs wobbled when your feet hit the ground and you pressed back against the closed door until you felt that you could walk without collapsing. It took a while for your legs to finally firm and when they did you followed the men into the medium sized country manor house.

Inside smelt of cedar and pine. Your footsteps echoed on the hardwood floor as you walked into the charming front room and looked up at all of the old portraits and paintings and decorative weapons. Twin staircases, one on each side of the front room,  dog-legged up to the next level.  You approached a tall round table with a large vase of fresh flowers and walked around it. You peeked into dark rooms and soon found yourself in an equally as charming country kitchen. There was a man in there wearing a black jumper and blue jeans, drinking from a white mug.

‘Ah!’ he said when he saw you. ‘Come in, come in. Coffee?’

Aware that you looked particularly filthy and bedraggled, compared to his crispness, you cleaned your hands on your cargo trousers and stepped into the room.

‘Yes, please.’

The man obliged, saying, ‘It’s only instant, I’m afraid.’

Instant was fine and you didn’t protest when he handed you a cup.

‘And it’s terrible,’ he added with a laugh. ‘I’ve only just arrived and haven’t had a chance to flush out all of the pipes. Everything happened so fast.’

You nodded and drank the metallic tasting coffee without complaint.

‘Ayami, then. Right?’

You knew what he was asking. Ayami was the conductor of this orchestra and she deserved all of the credit.

‘Yes.’

‘Fuck… she’s a legend.’

Finishing the cup without much tasting it, you handed it back to him.

‘I’d like to clean up and make sure that he’s… that August is ok for the night.’

He took the cup and was nodding as he put both yours and his into the sink.

‘Sure, sure. I can do that. There is a room ready for the both of you. Come on, I’ll show you.’

You followed him up the stairs and down a quiet, thickly carpeted hallway which was also lined with gaily painted portraits. Upon reaching the room at the end, he stepped aside to let you go in first.

There was a trio of men in there, that you recognised as the medical team and the room had been set up like a well-stocked hospital room. The lemon yellow wallpaper with its sunflower print was a pleasant contrast to the medical equipment and other paraphernalia. The men greeted you and they all shared a happy look. You knew why and yes, you shared it too. You said nothing as you watched them undress and bathe August, glad that he could finally receive more focused treatment.

‘And my room?’ you asked.

August didn’t need you now and you had to look after yourself. Mr instant coffee led you back down the hall and showed you your bedroom and amenities. When he left you, you threw your rucksack on the floor by the bed, stripped out of your filthy clothes, and immediately ran a bath. When you finally emerged, refreshed, and clean down to your toes, you found a sandwich and cola waiting on the table next to the bed. You devoured it in a few bites but drank the cola slowly as you unpacked your rucksack. All the way at the bottom,  and rolled around a pair of thick socks was a clean shirt and sweatpants which you quickly pulled on. You sat on the edge of the bed and finished the cola.

Flopping onto your side and closing your eyes, you intended to rest for only a moment. However, sleep had other ideas.

**

Sunlight streamed in through the windows behind you and you woke suddenly then rolled over. On the wall at the head of the bed, a pleasant-looking woman smiled down at you from a pastoral painting and you were groggy enough to smile back. Rubbing your face you sat up, yawned, and swung your legs over the edge of the bed, staying there a moment to contemplate the night before. You hadn’t slept that well in a very long time and you were grateful to have finally got some rest. That old bed was a godsend.

After washing and dressing in clean clothes, you stood in the corridor outside your room door and looked down the hallway to where August slept.  His door was closed. The scent of coffee wafting up the stairs alerted you that someone else was awake and you wondered if it was Mr Instant coffee down there still flushing out the pipes and drinking metallic tasting coffee. You decided to leave him to it and you walked to August’s room.

You tapped on the door but there was no answer, so you turned the doorknob and let yourself in.  August was still asleep. The IV drip bag was half empty and the bandages on his face were bright and clean. He looked much better in the warm morning light and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. You smoothed down the patch of  IV tape on the back of his hand and August startled a yelp out of you when he moved.

His eyes were open and you found yourself under the clear scrutiny of the infamous August Walker. Before your inglorious meeting at the cabin, you had never been this close to him. The two of you never spoke nor had you even been in the same room.

His eyes moved all over your face as if hunting for something and you stood still letting him complete his inspection. When recognition finally bloomed in his eyes, he relaxed.

You ventured to put your hand over his.

‘Do you remember me?’ you asked.

‘I remember,’ he answered, voice raspy from disuse.

August fell silent and it seemed to take effort for him to speak.

‘I… remember you read to me.’

Your heart skipped with elation.

‘Yes.’

Breathing out a breath, August closed his eyes.

‘Thank you.’

‘We’ll make him pay, August,’ you said when he was quiet. ‘All of them.’

It didn’t matter that he had succumbed to sleep again and probably didn’t hear you. Ethan Hunt was going to pay.

**

It was fortunate Mr. Instant Coffee, as you dubbed him, was around to cook and clean because you weren’t about to look after Walker and do the domestic duties as well.

As the weeks drifted by and August grew stronger, you turned your interest away from him and to revenge.

Retribution, you liked to say to yourself. It was a much better word and to pull it off, you needed a team.

Ayami, of course, was on board. She was always up for some violence and you loved her for it. She knew exactly who you needed and how to contact them. And, if you were going to go through with it, all the way, you needed a solid plan. Every piece had to be in place for the whole machine to move forward. No stone could remain unturned.

You spent a lot of time in that country kitchen with plans and schematics and blueprints spread out in front of you on the table. The first order of business was to find the persons responsible; Benji, Ilsa, Luther and Hunt.

Find them, and observe.

‘That’s it,’ you’d told Ayami. ‘Find them and observe. Record their patterns, their travel, their habits, their pubs, markets, clothing stores, everything.’

You made sure to have rotating team members on each target so that said target would not recognise any reoccurring faces and become suspicious. IMF was a clever, skittish bunch and the way to lure them into the trap was to be patient and deliberate.

Early one morning, about three months into your stay at the safe house, a heavy thumping down the stairs distracted you from your research.

You got up, refilled your coffee and then poured a second fresh cup. Returning to the table you put the second cup in the space across from where you had been sitting. For two weeks now, August had been testing his newly found strength and had insisted on getting up and moving around own his own. He’d recently been cut out of his arm cast and was able to navigate his way on crutches. And on mornings after breakfast when he could get himself out of bed, he usually banged down the stairs and hobbled into the kitchen.

After a few days of this, you started preparing a cup of coffee for him. Whether he was looking for coffee or not, you always put out a second cup when you heard him coming down. And August was actually polite and thankful for the gesture. It surprised you. You expected him to be this gruff and grumpy take charge team leader who didn’t have time for underlings. When, in fact, August Walker was a very pleasant man.

‘Morning,’ you heard him say from the kitchen’s doorway.

‘Morning,’ you replied, nodding to the coffee cup.

He took up his regular place across from you, and leaned the crutches against the bench seat.

You looked at him finally. The bandages were all off of his face now (except for the one remaining to protect his damaged ear) and the swelling had gone down.

What was at first considered full-thickness burns were actually only partial-thickness and he could heal without skin grafts.

He looked, you decided, pretty normal. Handsome, in fact and you wanted to reach out to touch him.

He saw you examining him and he made an aborted attempt to touch his face.

‘No, it ahh… it’s good. You look much better. Really,’ you said quickly.

He picked up the coffee and drank slowly.

‘Does it still hurt?’

‘No,’ he said into the cup and changed the subject. ‘What have we got?’

Right back to business, you thought. Of course. None of this ‘feelings’ stuff for him.

‘The only one we got consistent eyes on is Luther. I guess they’re not using him these days, so he’s staying put. He’s in the States and looks to have a vacation home in Florida. If he has a third place, we don’t know about it yet.’

August listened and nodded and you swore you could see a little smile starting to play across his mouth. Not wanting it to disappear, you showed him photos of Ilsa.

‘I think, she thinks she’s clever. At first she was darting around, doing the whole ‘spy’ thing. It was cute. Now, not so much. I’d like to take her… if you agree.’

August looked up at you and that little smile was still there. In fact he looked particularly pleased with you.

‘Don’t worry. Hunt’s for last. We’re saving him for you.’

August held your gaze and you felt a thrill race through you.

‘Excellent,’ he said. ‘I want you to do whatever you want to do. I trust you.’

You brightened considerably and resisted the urge to clap your hands with delight. Having August Walker’s trust had made the day golden.

**

A few days later, the thumping down the stairs distracted you from your work. Smiling a little, you got up and poured a fresh cup of coffee and sat it on the table across from you. Then as an afterthought, you got up again and plated a few chocolate Hobnobs that Mr. Instant Coffee had bought with the weekly grocery. You had barely put the plate down before August appeared in the kitchen doorway.

Seeing the mid-morning snacks waiting for him, he smiled a little and now down to one crutch from two, he hobbled into the kitchen and sat down in his usual spot across from you.

‘Look at you, speedster,’ you teased.

August’s brows rose with pleasure, but he smothered his growing smile by lifting his cup and drinking the coffee.

‘I prefer your coffee to the other one,’ said August, raising his eyes to meet yours.

You hesitated to meet his gaze, and when you did, the praise in his face melted you.

August quickly looked away and down at the plans on the table between the two of you.

‘So, tell me.’

He gestured with the cup to the papers.

You grinned, feeling pleased with your progress.

‘Ilsa. I finally got a bead on her. And I will be travelling to her location today.’

‘Today?’ he asked, sounding surprised and your brows drew together a little.

‘Too soon? I mean.. do you want to come?’

August shook his head and suddenly looked concerned.

‘I don’t want you rushing into something.’

Ah, was that it?

You reached out to tap the back of his hand with your index finger.

‘Whilst I thoroughly enjoy your concern, there’s no need for it. Do you umm, want a trophy? An eyeball? A finger?’

August was clearly surprised, and your offer startled a laugh out of him.

‘No,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘No, I don’t want any of that. But ah… I appreciate your vigour.’

You smiled at him.

‘You sure?’

He laughed a little, again, and asked, ‘And your flight?’

‘Coupla hours,’ you replied checking your wristwatch.

‘And your plan?’

‘Delicious,’ you promised.

And it was.

**

Los Angeles was hot and sweltering and you were not prepared for the weather. But you didn’t let that deter you, for you had a mission to accomplish.

You found the target sitting at a table beneath a colourful umbrella at a crowded outdoor cafe.

Carrying several bags emblazoned with names of high-end shops you stopped by her table, made a show of looking into the cafe and then down at the chair across from her.

She looked up at you and you tried a smile.

‘Hi, I am sooo sorry, but do you mind if I just sit here. I am dying in this heat!’

As you were actually dying in the western heat, you knew that you came across sincerely. She took a moment to consider you. Judging you harmless, she nodded to the chair and you collapsed onto it gratefully.

‘Oh, thank you, honey. That’s so good of you. I thought I was going to get all of my shopping over and done with before noon, but you know how it is. Just one more shop, one more try on…. maybe they got those shoes in the back in your size, right? Am I right?

You giggled easily and she nodded, then glanced into the cafe.

‘I gotta wear these gloves to that my hands don’t tan,’ you said watching her. ‘There’s nothing worse than having your arms one colour and your hands 5 shades darker.’

Ignoring you, she raised her hand hoping to alert the waiter standing inside.

He eased up to the table.

‘Yes ma’am.’

‘I ordered my…’

‘Yes, I know ma’am. We are working on it right now, please give us some time. The broiler is currently holding on by a thread. May I offer you a cold drink? On the house?’

You looked at her and she sighed.

‘Sure, go on. You want one?’

Her attention was on you.

You shrugged.

‘Sure! I’ll have what she’s having.’

The two of you chatted amiably for a little while and the waiter returned with your drinks. You immediately sipped at the fizzy fruit drink and put your glass down next to hers.

Several minutes later someone inside shouted, ‘Janie Fellows?’

The woman across from you stirred and then stood up.

‘Finally,’ she said and went inside to pick up her order.

You watched her go and quickly, unobtrusively, dumped the contents of your travel perfume bottle into her glass.

Ilsa returned with a plate brimming with meat and salad and set it on her placemat.

‘Looks good,’ you said admiring the dish. ‘I might get one, but I do need to get on, I think.’

‘You can stay as long as you like,’ she assured you and began her meal.

You sat and chatted whilst she ate and finished her drink.

You were in the middle of a long drawn out story about your imaginary husband when she stopped devouring the rare steak.

Ilsa dropped her fork and you turned towards her.

‘Something wrong?’ you asked, faux concern in your voice as you let your natural accent slip. ‘You’ve gone quite pale… Janie.’

Ilsa’s wide eyes shot up to your face and she spat out her chewed mouthful.

‘I probably overdosed you,’ you said quietly. ‘I mean, you were ten pounds heavier the last time I checked. But you and your hot yoga classes have done wonders. I might take it up myself.’

Eyes bulging as the poison squeezed closed her throat, Ilsa gurgled and staggered upright. The chair screeched on the concrete, fell away and you got up.

‘August Walker says, hello,’ you snarled at her. Then changing your attitude to something more helpless you shouted, ‘Oh My God! I think she’s having a seizure, help, help!’

A crowd began to form allowing you to slip away, but not before giving the thumbs up to Mr. Instant Coffee who had posed as your waiter who had perfectly distracted the mark enough for you to poison her drink.

**

‘Went well, I take it?’ August asked when you bustled into the kitchen the next morning.

There was coffee waiting for you at your usual spot.

You threw your arms round his neck and gave him a hearty kiss in greeting.

‘Better than you could ever imagine!’ you crowed and left him in stunned silence.

**

Distracted by the noise coming from the upper floor, you looked up from the laptop. The thumping down the stairs had been sounding a little less clumsy lately, now that August had finally regained control over his healing limbs. You were glad for it, because it meant that the infamous August Walker was out of the woods and on the mend.

You got up, poured a fresh cup of coffee, and was just setting it down when August came into the kitchen.

‘Morning!’ you called brightly, like the little homemaker you fancied yourself to be.

Well, you fancied yourself to be the kind of homemaker who didn’t keep house, but made coffee and assassination plans. You turned the cup so that the handle faced August when he straddled the bench and sat down across from you.

‘Thank you,’ he said picking up the cup and drinking deeply.

Smiling fondly, you considered him a moment and looked at the fresh bandage on his ear.

‘It’s ear day soon, isn’t it?’

Ear day, as you called it, was literally when August got his new outer ear to replace the one that had been damaged.  Contacts in one of the world’s leading biotech labs had been cultivating new skin and cartilage from his own cells and were ready for transplantation.  August had been putting off the surgery, ever since the fire of killing off the IMF team had been lit. He wanted a clear conscience before proceeding with any additional cosmetic surgery.

August lifted his gaze, but not directly to you. He looked at a spot on the table which was still littered with papers and blueprints and your laptops and a muscle bunched in his jaw, alerting you that he was uncomfortable with this line of discussion. You were never one to back down from a subject you wanted to pursue, so you pressed him gently.

‘I think… well, I think it’s gonna be fine. The surgery will be fine. You’ll have a brand spanking new appendage and everything’s gonna be fine.’

You watched his eyes sweep the length of the table, in an obvious attempt to avoid looking at you.

‘You suffered no hearing loss, on that side, the skin is mending itself nicely and the doctors even said that there was no follicle damage. Those curls will be coming back in no time.’

He scoffed.

‘I don’t care about that.’

‘Yes you do,’ you said with a tiny grin. ‘Yes you do, you care. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t look like this.’

You waved an appraising hand in his direction.

‘August Walker, meet August Walker. He cares about his looks.’

‘I’m not vain,’ August scowled, putting the cup down and finally looking you in the face

You softened your teasing just a little.

‘I didn’t say you were vain. There’s nothing wrong with a man who looks after his appearance. It’s… sexy.’

That stopped him and a spark of pleasure brightened his face.

You continued to lay it on thick.

‘Come now, a good looking guy like you? And you don’t know it? I find that hard to believe.’

He snorted quietly.

‘Do you ever think something that you don’t say?’ he asked, lifting a dark brow.

You leaned in on your elbows.

‘There are loads of things that I think, that I don’t say. That doesn’t mean that I won’t say them eventually.’

August’s lips lengthened into an inquisitive smile.

‘Like?’

‘Like?’ you repeated and decided to come clean. ‘I just said that you were sexy.’

You made an airy, dismissive gesture.

‘That’s not a new thought.’

You felt a chill manifest as a soft, insistent tingling that skittered all along your skin. Everything you’d hidden about your feelings for him was almost all the way out and you couldn’t stop yourself.

‘It’s not new that I’d do anything for the manifesto to be realised,’ you continued.

When August put down the cup, you reached out and clasped both hands over his.

‘That I’d do anything for you, August.’

The passion in your own voice stunned you. Surely, you had once again overstepped his boundaries.

First, it was kissing him without asking,  and now this, though August didn’t seem bothered by your audacity. He turned his hands up to enclose yours.

‘And I reward loyalty,’ he answered, voice low and full of promise.  

You drew in a long breath through loosely pursed lips, which August seemed to appreciate for his eyes lowered to your wet mouth. His own lips parted in response and you wondered if you climbed across that table and onto his lap, would it have been considered outlandish.

You didn’t think about any of that, as you stood up onto the wooden bench. With his handsome face brimming with delight, August held onto your hands and steadied you as you scrabbled across the table and landed astride his muscular thighs with a satisfied ‘ooof!’

He grimaced from the sudden pressure slamming down on his still tender leg and you were immediately contrite.

‘I’m sorry,’ you murmured, sliding your arms around his neck and curling your fingers into his shaggy curls. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll not play so rough next time.’

‘I like it rough,’ said August, running his hands over your hips to grip you close.

And then you kissed him, softly, fully, feeling his lips come apart beneath yours. Breathing him in, your thoughts ran wild.

I could get used to this. I could indulge in this all day. I could–

Then, ever a man of ill timing, Mr. Instant Coffee bustled into the kitchen, and it took him a moment to realise what he was interrupting.

‘Oh, shite, ok… uhh so that’s happening. Ok, great, but ah, you two… we need to get a move on. The car leaves in ten.’

And then he was gone, leaving you staring at the recently vacated kitchen doorway with your arms dangling over August’s shoulders. Reluctantly, you backed off of August’s lap and smiling, you cupped his cheek, pressed your thumb against the dimple in his chin and walked off to grab your travel bag.

It was back to the States again, the keys of Florida where Luther Stickell was vacationing on a secluded houseboat.

**

Stickell was not hard to find. His boat was moored in one of the farthest berths and was lit up like Christmas. He was having a party.

So much for keeping a low profile, you thought as you stepped off of the elegant cabin cruiser that had been rented for your mission. Your craft was berthed far enough away from his that no one in Stickell’s party could see August in his scuba gear, stepping off the low deck and into the dark water.

Standing on a nearby wooden piling, a pair of seagulls watched you suspiciously, the way birds do, and you lifted a finger to your lips, shushing them.

Holding a pair of strappy heels in your hand, you walked down the slatted dock between yachts and other smaller boats.  You purposefully wore a skimpy sequined dress, in the hopes of talking your way into the party. There were casually dressed men standing on the dock and smoking and they stopped talking as you approached. They didn’t look like bodyguards, but just like regular blokes. Easy to manipulate.

‘Hullo!’ you called happily, flapping your hand at them in greeting, affecting tipsiness. ‘I couldn’t help coming over. I just came from another get-together, but I’m not done partying yet. Ya’ll mind if I… ’

You made a walking motion with your index and middle fingers towards the boat. One of the men smiled and swaggered towards you. He held out a hand which you took and he led you to the edge of the boat, then helped you down the stairs.

Too easy.

There were people milling about on the port deck and some people playing cards inside, but not a lot was going on. It appeared to be at the tail end of the party, where people were trying to drink the last of the booze and eat the last of the food before they were forced to go home. You spotted Luther at the card table. He was laughing around a huge cigar clamped between his front teeth and then he threw the cards down on the table with a triumphant cry. The men sitting there erupted in jeers and hoots as he raked in the pile of money from the centre of the table.

Scanning the area you then went down the stairs to the toilet and stood in the dark narrow corridor thinking about August swimming around beneath your feet as he planted bomb charges against the boat’s hull.

The thought of him down there was strangely arousing.

August was stronger now, strong enough to cause mayhem with his own hands, and it was all you wanted for him. You crouched by the toilet and dug about in your handbag, pulling out one of Ayami’s personal creations – something she’d called her ‘cherry bang bang’. You drew out a black device that was flat on the bottom and round on the top. It looked harmless enough, almost like a little cake, but you knew the massive power packed into that sweetly named bomb. She had given you and August a personal demonstration of the destructive power of her little sweets. You placed a kiss on its glossy surface and adhered it to the underside of the toilet bowl.

‘You are a gem, Ayami,’ you chuckled and pushed upright.

You made your way back to the upper level and moving about unnoticed you planted more cherry bang bangs, even adhering one to each of the fishing chairs bolted to the port side deck.  

A chill settled over the harbour. The guests soon drifted inside and eventually left the party altogether.

You walked back to the rented cabin cruiser to find August waiting for you. His hair was curly and damp and there were pressure marks from the dive mask across his brow. You went up on tiptoes to kiss him. August caught you about the waist and wrapped you up in his arms, lifting you to deepen the kiss. Trapped like that against his big, hot body,  your heart throbbed excitedly. If he could elicit such wonders from your body with just a kiss and an embrace, you couldn’t imagine what other magic he could work.

‘Ready?’ he asked, bending to put you back on your feet.

You nodded and tossing your shoes aside, went to sprawl on one of the long creme coloured couches. August started the engine and guided the cruiser out of the berth. When you were a safe distance away, he reached for your hand and helped you up to the top deck.

You could see the lights of Stickell’s boat twinkling in the distance.  And after about twenty more minutes, once everyone was finally gone, Luther shut off the boat lights.  You and August got up from your deck chairs. You held up the binoculars and adjusted them until the houseboat came into sharp focus. All you could see now was the red glow of Luther’s cigar as the man sat out in one of the fishing chairs and enjoyed the rest of his evening.

August put one arm about your waist, big hand splaying across your stomach, and held up the detonator with the other.

‘Two down,’ you said and he depressed the button.

The explosion was brilliant.

Through the binoculars, you watched the boat burn and sink, but August was more interested in kissing the back of your neck and exposed shoulders to pay attention.

‘Mmmm,’ you purred slyly, leaning your head back against his shoulder. ‘Did you like that? Was it good for you?’

‘So good,’ he answered giving you one last kiss before releasing you.

You opened your mouth to say something but the distant sounds of sirens broke the silence.

Time to go, you thought and the both of you disappeared into the night.

**

You didn’t want to go back to the safehouse right away. As nice as the country house was, being cooped up between those four floral walls drove you crazy. August paid for a few nights at the Shangri-la hotel in London so that you could shower in temperatures above lukewarm, and sleep in a broad bed beneath washing detergent scented sheets.

And when August made love to you on those soft sheets,  your earlier conjecture regarding his sexual prowess, did not prepare you for the bliss you experienced with him buried deep inside you.

It was nearly nine in the morning, a few days after your expedition to the Keys, and propped up with a pillow under your armpit, you lay on your side across the hotel bed, a bowl of spag bol, and your open laptop on the white duvet in front of you. You were half under the thick covers and half out of it because the room was warm, but not uncomfortably so. August emerged from the adjoining bathroom, wearing one of the luxurious bathrobes and towelling dry his hair.

He tossed the towel across the footrest by the chair and stretched out on the bed behind you, looking over your shoulder to read the Miami Herald’s bold headline. He slid his hand beneath your tee-shirt and caressed the skin between your shoulder blades. How he figured out that you liked that, still remained a quandary, but you were glad that you didn’t have to ask for it.

‘Oh, dear,’ you said feigning distress. ‘Did you hear about the accident that happened in Florida? Tsk… such a shame.’

‘Is he dead?’ asked August, as he nuzzled your shoulder.

‘Yes, sir,’ you teased, reaching back to playfully push him off. ‘You are not paying attention.’

‘I am. I’m paying attention to what’s important.’

The implication of his statement drifted right over your head as you were too focused on proving him wrong.

He kissed your neck again and grunted when you jabbed him with an elbow.

‘Well, if you were paying attention to what was important, you’d know that…’

‘That Dunn is here in London,’ August finished for you and continued to lazily caress your back.

That shut you right up. How did he know?

‘Of course, you knew,’ you chuckled.

‘I suggest,’ said August, changing the subject and lifting his head to take your earlobe between his lips. ‘We take one more day here and then find him.’

As he spoke, August slid his hands beneath you, turned you away from the laptop and pulled you atop him. You wriggled with delight, and grasping the robe’s belt, you pulled the knot free and let it fall open.

‘Just one day?’ you asked, sliding down the length of his body to ease his cock into your mouth.

‘Anything!’ he gasped, the heat of your mouth robbing him of coherent through. ‘Whatever you want.’

You wanted at least two extra weeks after the mission.

**

When you woke hours later, August was gone. There was a note left for you on the nightstand and in his neat print he’d written, ‘Supply Run.’

You stretched under the duvet and tapped the stiff cardstock against your lower lip.

Supply Run either mean food, or guns and knowing August, it was probably the latter. You were just raiding the over-stocked minibar refrigerator when he returned to the hotel room, carrying a long black duffel which he dropped onto the chaise at the end of the bed.

‘Guns,’ you said aloud, looking up from the chilled box of chocolate.

‘What?’ he asked, shrugging out of his jacket.

You smiled and shook your head and switched on BBC World Service.

Unzipping the duffel, August asked, ‘what do you know about Sage Software?’

‘Nothing,’ you answered truthfully. ‘Who are they?’

‘They supply small business software. Dunn is working with them and hacking them.’

Taking the chocolates to the bed, you opened your laptop and searched the business. With a laugh, you rolled over onto your back and looked up at August with interest. He was smiling slightly back at you.

‘Well, what do you know?’ you said with amusement. ‘Sage is located in the Shard, which is… ’

August nodded to you and his grin widened.

‘Right downstairs,’ he finished.

‘Did you plan this? Getting a room here because he was downstairs?’ you giggled, when he leaned over to kiss you.

‘Of course. Leave nothing to chance, Princess.’

Well, that nickname was new, you thought, delighted.

‘What’s the plan, then?’

August stretched out on his back next to you and folded his hands on his belly.

‘He’s got an office on the 13th and is there most nights.’

‘Most nights,’ you repeated and waited for him to finish his thought.

‘Tonight.’

**

Dunn was surprisingly easy to pick off. You had expected for him to have cameras and monitors and other high tech stuff to alert him to the presence of anyone who came unannounced to his office. And, you were surprised that /he/ was surprised when August quietly opened the thin office door and let himself in.

You stayed in the corridor and watched the scene unfold through the narrow decorative glass panel next to the door.

Dunn obviously recognised and remembered August,  because he bolted out of his swivel chair and threw himself against the wall behind him.

‘I thought you were dead!’ you heard him shout before the silenced round splattered him across the frog poster that announced ‘work hard, play hard, live hard’.

You clapped lightly as August exited the office.

‘Well done, baby,’ you praised him. ‘But come on. I heard the lift bell. It would be stupid of us to get caught.’

All the little piggies had gone to slaughter. All except one.

**

Ethan Hunt was not a stupid man.

In fact, he was quite the opposite. He was cunning and clever and suspicious which were characteristics that helped him to remain one of the top Mi6 agents.

He also had a golden streak of very good luck and August Walker was just about to ruin that man’s whole career.

‘He went squirrely, ’ said Ayami who was pawing through a tin of broken Danish butter cookies from where she sat perched on the kitchen counter-top.

Two weeks after you returned from the Dunn business,  Ayami just turned up at the country safe-house. Much to your delight, you’d found her one morning sitting at the kitchen table having a bagel and cream tea. And you knew why she was there. Things were winding up to the big payoff and the team needed to be as consolidated as possible.

‘What does that mean?’ you asked her but it was Mr. Instant Coffee who answered.

‘Means that he knew what’s good for him and went underground.’

‘Because all of his peeps were getting murdered,’ Ayami finished cheerfully and you half expected her and Instant Coffee to slap hands in a celebratory high-five.

August sat silently in his usual place, thoughtfully turning the small white coffee cup in a circle on the table.

‘Last time he was seen?’ he asked finally.

‘Park hotel, Berlin,’ Instant Coffee read from the reports supplied by the ‘boots on the ground’ team. ‘Been there for about a week, but he hasn’t really stayed one place for more than that. We should have moved earlier.’

‘No,’ said August, not looking at him, but at the cup. ‘No, we want to give him enough rope to hang himself. Let him get complacent.’

‘Do we have time to let him get complacent?’ Instant Coffee said. ‘I mean, the longer we wait, the more time he’ll have to burrow in like a fucking tick.’

You looked at Instant Coffee for a moment. He did have a point.

‘Okay,’ August replied easily. ‘You’re right.’

At that moment, your respect for August Walker increased ten-fold. That he was able to take in the opinion of the other members of his team was unbearably sexy. He may have earned a little leg over for later that night.

‘I’m going alone,’ August announced finally, drawing the sharp attention of everyone in the room.

You reined your own reaction because an emotional response in that instant would have been inappropriate. You knew exactly why August wanted to hunt down Ethan alone. Hunt had not only gravely wounded August’s body but also his pride. His revenge was personal.

‘That’s probably not a good idea,’ said Instant Coffee, obviously feeling confident that he had scored a few brownie points a few moments earlier.

August scowled and looked to you. Meeting his gaze,  you nodded once.

‘August should face Hunt alone,’ you said to the room and then to him, added, ‘but I don’t think you should go alone.’

There was so much gratefulness in his eyes that you felt embarrassed and looked away. You didn’t want August to see the answering distress in your eyes. If the fight on the cliff side had been fair, and luck hadn’t been on Hunt’s side, August wouldn’t have lost. Tossing August over the edge was poor sportsmanship. You were afraid that Hunt would employ other clever tricks and defeat August for the second time. And now that August wanted to take on the IMF leader alone ensured that he would be left vulnerable to losing the upper hand.

You didn’t want to lose him again, but you remained silent. This was ultimately August’s decision and he had made his choice.

**

The two of you didn’t speak much on the trip to Berlin. There wasn’t much to say. You didn’t dare express to him your fears, because that would only serve to distract him with your possibly misplaced doubt. And distraction was the last thing August needed.

When he pulled up to a local hotel to drop you off, you stayed in the car, sitting quietly for a moment, unsure what to do or say. Sighing, you turned to him and reached to cup his cheek.

‘See you soon,’ you encouraged him. ‘Bring me a trophy.’

August nodded and you got out of the car.

Come back to me, you thought watching the car disappear in the afternoon traffic.

Your room faced the Berliner Fernsehturm and you could hear music from the festival going on in the square below. You took a long hot shower and stretched on the surprisingly comfortable bed. It wasn’t the Shangri-la, but it was charming and it wasn’t long before you fell asleep.

The room door thunking shut as if a heavy weight collapsed against it awoke you hours later. With a gasp, you shot upright and reached for your weapon. You couldn’t remember where the light switch was, so when you scrambled up from the bed, you backed up to the table under the window and jerked open the curtains to let in the artificial outdoor light.

The scent of sulphur and petrol filled the room and as your eyes slowly adjusted to the differences in the light you could just make out the bulky form sitting on the floor against the door. You knew that form as the impression of it was etched on your own flesh.

You put your weapon aside and padded barefoot across the hardwood floor, grabbing a towel and wetting it as you passed the small bathroom alcove. You crouched before the shadowed figure and put your hand beneath his chin. You lifted his face to the light and it was clear that Hunt had given August a run for his money.

You gently cleaned the dried blood from his mouth and chin, carefully working it out of his moustache and scruff.

You wanted to say something reassuring, something positive, but you were too overwhelmed with relief.

‘Well,’ you murmured, stroking his face. ‘I hate to see the other guy.’

August was silent and you hoped you hadn’t over stepped the line.

He then held up a small package wrapped neatly in butcher’s paper and tied with white twine. You took it from him, pulled the string and the paper unfolded  to reveal your trophy. Holding it up to the light, it took a moment for you to recognise the carefully extracted evidence of Hunt’s death and you smiled.

‘Come on, you big brute,’ you said fondly, attempting to pull him up from the floor.

When August didn’t budge, you stopped straining against his weight and gasped with exertion.

‘You’re gonna have to help me here, babe!’

Groaning miserably, August managed to get his feet beneath him using the door and you to heave himself from the floor. You struggled to get him out of his clothes  and under the soft yellow light above the sink you examined him. Big swollen bruises bloomed across his chest and back accompanied by several shallow scrapes and slashes. You wasted no time washing him up, patching his wounds, and getting him into bed.

Lying on his belly, August was still asleep when you woke the next morning. You went to the minibar refrigerator, withdrew your trophy and admired it in the morning sunlight. Your mobile beeped.

It was a message from Ayami.

‘Tell your boyfriend to be a little less conspicuous next time, ok?’ she’d written.

Curious, and glancing at August’s sleeping form, you rang her.

‘What’s that mean?’ you asked when she answered.

‘I mean that August didn’t need to leave that fucker’s burning corpse in the warehouse. He damn near burned down the place.’

‘He was obviously sending them a message,’ you answered, smiling gleefully, proud of your little murder puppy.

‘I can understand that,’ she shot back sounding uncharacteristically irritable. ‘But that also earned us more attention than we wanted.’

You sobered.

‘Is this something that needs to be taken care of?’

‘It’s already handled,’ she answered and some of her good humour crept back into her voice.

You sighed and relaxed, wrapping an arm about your midsection.

‘He’s not my boyfriend,’ you said after a moment with no conviction in your voice and she laughed incredulously.

‘When are you coming back?’ she asked, changing the subject.

‘I dunno. Depends on what August wants.’

‘Ok, you two lovebirds hash it out and I’ll see you… whenever.’

‘Thanks, Ayami. I love you!’

‘Get something from the Wall museum for me, ok?’

You disconnected the call and tossed aside the mobile.

Feeling a warm sense of well-being, you re-wrapped your trophy and stored it in the refrigerator again. Climbing into bed next to August, you lifted his arm, crawled beneath it, and curled your body against him.

August had exacted his revenge and you felt satisfied for him. But you weren’t sure what was going to happen now. The mission that had consumed so much of your year was over. You felt un-moored and a little panicked, but when August tightened his arm round you, your hamster wheel of thoughts scattered.

There was time to worry later, now in the heat of August’s embrace was peace and with a small smile still on your lips, you put your head against him and slept.

-end

[bigskydreaming]

#when i read about tim i often kind of come to the idea that he's relatively self centered#and that can be both a flaw and a strength#but he doesn't often consider other people's feelings and circumstances#like when dick made damian robin he didn't really consider the situation from anyone else's view#or in his origin story#he doesn't seem to consider how dick would feel about hearing how tim was affected by dick's parents' death#or with the spyral situation#or in regards to him earning robin#and its pretty consistent in fandom characterization even if a lot of writers don't seem to be aware of it#its interesting cause i think its something i think he has in common with bruce#its honestly a surprisingly consistent thing from what i see#and it can be a strength to#it can absolutely lead to some confidence and self actualization#as well as being able commit to fixing something and working hard at it#because you believe you can and don't think anyone else can/will do it via @emenerd

Y’know, what’s interesting to me about these points is the fact that like.....Tim having tendencies towards self-centeredness is actually something that COMPLETELY makes sense and can be quite sympathetic in light of his backstory of having neglectful parents.

In an age of armchair diagnosticians eager to label anyone who expresses a controversial viewpoint while centering themselves as an example, as like, having a narcissistic personality disorder (and with the loaded implication that this makes them a bad person even if its true, instead of just....having a disorder, yay weaponizable ableism) like, it can be important to add in distinctions that even tendencies that share overlap with a lot of things born of entitlement, etc....aren’t always necessarily proof of that.

For instance, in Tim’s case, an overemphasis on himself and his own position in situations and arguments can very reasonably be attributed as a coping mechanism he developed in an attempt to acknowledge and address self-esteem issues he sees himself as having, DUE to parental neglect.

Its not that he thinks he’s the most important person in the room, necessarily, its that he spent so many years not even being considered a person in the room, that now he OVERCOMPENSATES on his own behalf, in an attempt to remind himself that no, his opinion and feelings and situations do matter.....and because he like most of the Bat-characters has a tendency towards hyper-fixating on a problem they’re trying to address, this can also understandably create a kind of tunnel vision. Where he’s so busy focusing on what he’s diagnosed as an actual issue he has that he’s trying to address or make up for, in order to build up his self-esteem....that he neglects to keep everyone around him equally centered in his interactions with them, and remember that like, they have their own issues and ignoring that to focus entirely on his own runs the risk of negatively impacting them in the exact same way he’s still learning to cope with having been negatively impacted in his development as a child.

None of this makes him a bad person, or is stuff that can’t be addressed and developed just by paying the appropriate attention to it and his interactions.

SO the issue I tend to more often have....

Is with how often in fandom and fanon we hear references to Tim’s neglect and emotional abuse and how this impacted him.....much in the same way we see Jason and Cass and Damian and Dick’s various forms of abuse and the developmental impact it had on them....

BUT there tends to then be a disconnect, IMO, because that acknowledgment of the WHAT of Tim’s neglect and abuse and the HOW it hurt him.....isn’t often followed up by an examination/awareness of how it also SHAPED him.....at least, not compared to how discussions/fics about say, Jason’s abuse tend to point out the latter as much as the former.

And this is a big part of my gripe with the ways abuse is centered and tackled as a topic in fics and fandom discussions, because its so often capitalized upon as a defense or shield for a character from criticism, stuff like that.....without ever actually EXPLORING the topic itself, or the FULLNESS of the impact it can have.

But only in regards to some characters.

What I mean is like....we see a lot of focus on Jason’s childhood abuse, yeah? And this often is then connected through headcanons, meta and fics to various aspects of Jason’s characterization as a teenager, and as an adult as well.....with a tendency towards anger or violence, abrasive personality, etc. Don’t get me wrong, its usually presented as such in a SYMPATHETIC light, especially when raised by fans of Jason themselves.....but his abuse is very much present and centered in fics and discussions as something that not only impacted him and made him suffer, but something that actually shaped him to varying degrees as well....with a lot of focus then in fics of him as an adult, like, paid to him going to therapy and unpacking his childhood abuse in an effort to WORK on these aspects of himself that make his present day life harder or less healthy than he’d like it to be. The issue of how his abuse lent itself to various behaviorisms is raised in order to address various byproducts of his abuse as FLAWS that he seeks to eliminate, in order to make himself happier and make himself someone that people want to be around more.

And again, don’t get me wrong - for the most part, this is a GOOD thing. The caveat here is just a personal dislike I have for how often these narratives smack of a kind of saviorism, and act like it was only through the grace of Bruce and becoming part of the Batfam that Jason’s ever afforded the opportunity to better himself as a person. I dislike the hell out of this because it not only pairs all too well with a lot of classist shit, it feeds into the singular narrative we’re so often presented with by media about abused kids: the myth of the victim being destined to become a victimizer, it all being an inevitable cycle. The reason this myth is so easily perpetuated is the exact reason I’m so critical of the saviorism in a lot of abused-Jason fics.....people can very easily fall into the trap of assuming that abused kids are likely to grow up to be abusers because they never have anyone to TEACH them that abuse is wrong, or to lead by healthy example. 

The harm of this perception is that it kinda throws under the bus every kid who never lucks out and gets a Bruce Wayne style savior swooping in to not only save them from their abusive environs, but TEACH them that they deserved better and that abuse is wrong. 

Because its like, uh, the thing is, plenty of abused kids who never get a personal mentor or savior figure are fully capable of figuring out for themselves that they deserve better and that people hurting them is wrong, because it makes them feel bad and they don’t like that? 

Many abused kids don’t grow up in a media vacuum where they simply have no access to glimpses of lives different from their own.....we see kids having happier, healthier family lives on TV or in books and are able to figure out that society overall thinks that’s what family is SUPPOSED to look like, and its ours that is the aberration? 

The very fact that we’re taught or have it instilled in us by abusive parents that like, we’re not to bring up instances or examples of our abuse to teachers or friends, that its a SECRET, is like, usually a dead giveaway that there’s something WRONG with it that we’re being instructed - and enforced with abusive consequences - to keep from alerting others to....like, this is basically a blaring siren to a lot of us that no, what’s happening to us ISN’T normal and acceptable, and that’s literally WHY the parent we’re afraid of is so insistent on us keeping the facts of it hidden? 

And so like, tons of abused kids figure out for ourselves the difference between right or wrong, based off nothing more than our own feelings about things and a desire to not be like the people who make us feel miserable - like, never underestimate the power of spite to like, keep a kid from growing up doing the same thing to others that was done to them, lol. 

But point being, lots of kids never get a Bruce Wayne figure to take them away from their abuse and also teach them that they never deserved it and how not to pass the hurt forward by doing the same things to others. And its kinda condescending as fuck that we so often see narratives that take it as so obvious it barely merits commenting on, that like, ‘of COURSE abused kids grow up to become abusers if they don’t have someone else step in and show them a better way’....mmm, no. Fuck that. But you get what I mean.

So like, its a mixed bag. Its a good thing, to see Jason-centric stories that show him addressing his childhood and seeking just a more fuller, happier, healthier life for himself. Its a less great thing to see this narrative presented as all encompassing, with it never being raised that no, Jason actually could figure out he deserved better and how to treat people in ways he’d want to be treated even without a billionaire guardian angel.....NOT because the narrative wherein someone helps an abused kid figure out what was wrong about how they were treated is like, NEVER valid....but rather it just becomes a problem when looked at as a data point against the larger tapestry of fandom-wide works....and noticing that this specific narrative is pretty much the ONLY one raised or treated as valid. With it just being ASSUMED to be the natural course of events and characters, rather than just....the direction society overall has their perceptions of abuse steered towards due to a singular and constantly reinforced abuse narrative shown to us in media.

And the way this all plays back into my point about Tim and what took me down this road in general.....

Is that disconnect I was talking about, lies specifically in HOW Tim is often acknowledged and regarded as an abuse survivor due to his emotional abuse and neglect......with this abuse and its impact on HIM often taking center stage, much the way Jason’s abuse and its impact takes center stage in his narratives.....

BUT with a key difference being that while a lot of Jason’s narratives go on to denote the specific ways his abuse helped SHAPE him and his interactions with others, and raise and address the ways in which he can better himself and his relationships by unpacking all of this openly....

Most of the stories about Tim’s abuse/neglect tend to just STOP at the awareness of its existence and impact on him. Never taking it that one step further to examine how those specific forms of abuse could have additionally SHAPED him....in ways that sometimes negatively impact those around him and his own loved ones, even if this is completely unintentional on his part. The difference, the disconnect, lies solely in how rarely its ever acknowledged that Tim’s own upbringing can and does play directly into how he interacts with people later on in life.....and in ways that he’s fully capable of addressing and bettering himself so as to be happier and healthier just in his own life, and in his relationships, as someone others want to be around.

Aaaaand once you actually examine or consider WHY there’s this discrepancy between the full ramifications of Tim’s abuse and that which various siblings of his underwent, when there’s full agreement that what he did go through absolutely can be termed abusive as well....like, its the implications of what about Tim makes him more naturally resistant or whatever to being shaped by his abuse in ways that have actual negative impact on others in his life, whereas the same isn’t true of say, Jason.....that’s when the red flags start to go up for me, and the unintended subtext starts to get Less Than Stellar, IMO.

Anyway. Just food for thought on the subject of Tim, his upbringing, the various impacts this had on not JUST him but also on how he interacts with others, and ways in which all of this compares and contrasts with how the subject of abuse is raised and depicted in regards to other Batkids.

[votederpycausemufins]

for the longest time my brain just did not want to write. but then two scenes came to mind and bam, chapter!

and as always

@petrichormeraki​

Wilbur showed up like he was arriving at a party. In a sense he was since Dream was taken down and he was going to see Tommy again. Dream may have revived him, but even that wasn’t going to convince Wil to help the tyrant. When he reached Philza and Techno, he was surprised to see no sign of Tommy. “So, where is he?”

“Tommy? He’s showing off his base to Tubbo.” Grian spoke up, making Wilbur notice him. His parrot wings were folded tightly so they couldn’t be seen, which was perfect for him. "Hey, you got something in your hair.”

Wilbur patted his head. “What, my hat?”

Grian shook his head and put a blue feather there. “It’s right there.”

“I can feel you put something there.” Wilbur pulled the feather out. “Don’t need you-” He stopped talking once he actually looked at the feather.

“Hey look, I’ve got one too.” Techno said pointing at the yellow feather placed behind his ear.

“No.” Wilbur sounded dumbfounded and looked back at Grian, who now had a red feather stuck in his own hair.

“Alright, let’s go see Tommy.” Grian spoke nonchalantly before Wilbur grabbed him.

“Oh no you don’t! You don’t just get to drop that bombshell on us and walk away!”

Grian laughed. “What, missed me?”

“Yes! Where the fuck were you?”

“Oh, here and there. How are you doing being alive again.”

“Less violent than I was before dying I suppose.”

“Good! But I’m still not letting you near Tommy.” When Wilbur tried to say something, Grian stopped him. “Nope, you can’t argue. I’m oldest now.”

“What the fuck to you mean, I’m a minute older than you bird boy.”

“Not anymore, I’m now in my thirties.”

“Wh- How?!”

Philza put a hand on Wilbur’s shoulder. “We can talk more when we meet back up with Tommy.”

“Yeah, we can visit his base hermit cribs style. I’ll grab my backup elytra and some rockets!” Grian ducked into a shop to use their ender chest. “Oh yeah, are you guys okay with rockets? Because Tommy told me Tubbo doesn’t like them. They won’t explode or anything, they’re just to help you with flying. Obviously dad and I won’t need them, but uh, you guys don’t have wings.”

“I’ll take them.” Wilbur said. Techno was less eager, but did also accept the elytra.

As Grian was about to take off with his family, Scar cleared his throat to get their attention. “Now Grian, while I am glad that you have found the family you lost, I am still very serious about that paperwork. I have different forms for if they’re planning to stay permanently or if they’re just going to visit often. I can send the paperwork to your mansion if you want though if you just want to come to town hall right now, we can do it there.”

“Scar, right now I want to talk with my family and figure out what we’re doing. We can’t really sign paperwork if we don’t know which paperwork to sign, right?”

Scar nodded in agreement. “Alright, I’ll send it to the mansion then. Also about the other people visiting.”

Grian flapped his wings to quickly get into the air. “Sorry Scar too far away can’t hear you byeeeee!”

On the ground, Phil sighed, though he was smiling. “I guess this means we better start flying. Let’s get up higher for an easier take off.”

Though it took an attempt or two, the avian lineage seemed to help Techno and Wilbur get the hang of using elytra extremely fast. Though in the air, Grian hadn’t flown too far and the others easily caught up with him. He guided them to the south west towards where Tommy’s base was. 

As it came into view, Grian couldn’t help but laugh as he heard a gasp from behind. They landed in front of the arch acting as a doorway on the ground floor to find Tommy leaning against it. “Took long enough dickheads.”

Grian was about to jokingly scold Tommy when Wilbur went to hug and or lovingly bully his younger brother. Tommy waved his arms in an attempt to get Wil to stop, but he kept running towards Tommy. Just before he could reach the blond, he was tackled to the ground from the side by Grian.

“Grian! I was joking! It was going to be fine!” Tommy complained, helping to pull the avian off Wilbur. “You don’t have to keep mothering me! Stress does that plenty!”

“It’s not my fault I wore the chicken mask that long.”

“That is entirely your fault! And wearing a mask that long doesn’t change anything.”

Tommy and Grian continued to playfully argue until Philza caught their attention. “Oh right, forgot we had meetings to get to. Hey Tommy, which floor do you think is best for talking about all this.”

Tommy put a hand on his chin. “Hmmm, how about the sixth floor? I mean, that one is based on the smp.”

“Sounds great!” Grian said before flying up there, leaving the others behind.

“Hey! No fair!” Tommy shouted up. “Some of us have to use rockets to fly! Ugh fine we’re taking the bubble stream.”

Entering the tower, the first floor was just completely made of cobble. It was his favorite block and all, so if he was going to mainly use the first floor, that was the design he wanted. There were also a number of chests placed around to the point that it had become a bit of a chest monster. Wilbur couldn’t help but be curious and opened one chest, eyes widening at the contents. “This is filled with diamond tools and armor! You’re just leaving it here?”

Tommy looked over to what Wil was referring to. “What? Oh, that’s from endbusting. It’s all cursed gear. You should have seen the time I caught Joe afk and gave him a set of binding diamond armor. I’m not sure how he didn’t notice right away, but the moment I mentioned I liked his armor, he jumped in the nearest lava pool.”

“Really? Other than the curses, this seems like it’s pretty good?”

“Not really. No one is really stealing from each other so everyone’s got great gear. Besides, part of the prank was giving Joe diamond gear. He apparently said he wasn’t going to use diamonds this world and burns them when he gets them.”

“He just burns diamonds?!”

“Yeah.” Tommy shrugged, then walked over to one of many bubble columns. “Here, this one goes to the sixth floor. You guys go first. I want to make sure you go in it and not the others. I’ll show off my shit hermitcribs style later.”

When they got off the bubble elevator, it was something that was recognized immediately. The floor was made of grass and one wall was missing and looking right at the now setting sun. In the middle of the room was a simple bench and a jukebox.

“Your bench.” Wilbur spoke up, making Tommy nod.

“Yeah. There’s also one in the shopping district. That’s for more public stuff. I’ll just be hanging on the bench and other hermits can show up to talk about shit. This one’s for more private stuff like this.”

“Or for letting me cuddle with you.” Grian poked his head up from the other side of the bench. 

Tommy’s face turned a shade of red. “We do not cuddle!”

“Then what do you call what we do when you’ve had a long day and need me to come over so you can use my wings as a blanket.”

“Hanging out. Cuddling makes it sound weird.” Tommy crossed his arms.

Grian just tackled Tommy and wrapped him in his wings. “You’re not allowed out until you admit it!”

“Never bird bitch!”

He rubbed the feathers against Tommy’s face. “Say iiit!” Tommy just plucked a feather out making Grian pull back. “Ow! You didn’t have to do that!”

“I thought you wanted us to talk as a family or some shit.”

Grian rolled his eyes, but did nod. “Yeah, you’re right.” And then he sat down on the ground across from the bench. The others found their own places to sit and just sat there in silence for a few moments before Wilbur started the conversation.

“So, you changed your name then huh? Everyone’s calling you Grian.”

Grian nodded. “Yeah, I started using it back when I was in the orphanage and legally changed it when I was eighteen. Though it took a while with the criminal record.”

“I’m sorry, your what?” Philza asked sternly, but Grian just shrugged.

“Yeah I sort of murdered some people. I probably could have found a way around it, but at the time, it was the best answer I had. And I didn’t really have a good support system. I mean, I had friends, but how are you supposed to tell them you have voices in your head telling you what to do when they’re already not the best people themselves.”

Philza rubbed his forehead. “How bad?”

“Well…”

“No, nevermind. I don’t want to know.”

“So, you’re a Watcher?” Techno spoke up in a monotone voice.

Grian used enough of his power to make a third eye appear for a second before making it disappear again. “Yeah, whatever took me from you guys happened again and dropped me off in a world that was like, so many years in the past. I actually got dropped there with a lot of people and the Watchers sort of played around with us. Nothing as bad as what Dream seemed to be doing, just puzzles and cryptic clues and portals everywhere to push us forward in time when they saw fit. Eventually they convinced me to join them.”

“Just like that?” Techno raised an eyebrow.

“Nah, I was a real pain in their side for loads of time before they finally asked me to join. I’m pretty sure it was because it was because that was the one way to get me to stop messing around.” Grian laughed at his own joke before looking sadly at the floor. “First thing I did was start looking for you guys. I assumed you would still be in the castle or somewhere nearby, but the place was abandoned. And it’s harder to find someone when you don’t know what world they’re in.”

Philza started to reach for Grian, but the younger avian’s wings started to puff up in agitation. “You know, I don’t know if I should be happy that I found you or upset. I could have never figured out where you guys were unless I got lucky peering into worlds. Only reason I found out was because Tommy came here. And he only came here because he ended up in a dangerous world with no family helping him. And you nearly took him back there.”

Tommy put a hand on one of Grian’s wings, making him puff up even more. “Hey, calm down Big G. You made sure they couldn’t do that. And if they do try, just knock some sense into them.”

Grian calmed down, though there was still tension in the room and no one spoke. The first thing that broke the silence was a yell from above them. “Tommy! How do you get down? I don’t have a water bucket on me!”

Tommy jumped up from where he was sitting. “Oh shit! I’ll be right there Tubbo!” And Tommy jumped out the window. Grian waited a moment before asking the others to look behind them, which they did just in time for all of them to see Tommy making a face at them all as he went up the bubble stream. A few moments later, Tubbo was going down a different bubble elevator and then Tommy glided in through the window. “Sorry, I keep the down one closed off so the bees don’t wander their way into it on a suicide mission. Tubbo couldn’t find it and obviously he’s not flying around.”

“Can you actually ask him to come up here? I want to say something that involves him.”

“Got it.” Tommy leaned out the window. “Hey Tubbo! Come back up here! Use the one with green glass!”

A moment later, Tubbo exited onto the floor. Tommy pushed Wilbur off the bench to make room for Tubbo to sit. “Hey! How are you so strong!”

Tommy gestured at the room around them. “I mean, I got help from some of the hermits for the interior, but the exterior was all me. I mined tons of shit looking for diamonds and I used it for here. I mean, I also got some help with the flag on top, but otherwise, all seventeen floors were built by me.”

“Seventeen floors?!”

“I know, they’re all as tall as this one so it’s small as fuck. Only big one is the top since I didn't waste an extra ceiling with the roof there.”

“You should do what Tango did last season and add a dragon or two.”

“Nah, might just start making a castle to pair up with it.”

“Tommy! What the fuck!” Tubbo said suddenly. “How did you get so good?!”

“It’s just sort of how we do stuff here on Hermitcraft.” Grian answered. “You were at Iskall’s tree right? That’s his base. He got us to help collect the leaves, but he’s been placing it all.” Tubbo just looked like his head was about to explode. “Anyway, I wanted Tommy to call you here because I didn’t get the chance to tell you. You’re the admin of the smp now.”

“I’m what?!”

“I figured after all I’ve heard about you from Tommy, you would be safe to turn into the admin. Obviously it can be moved to someone else, but you were the first choice.”

“I can’t be the admin! What if I end up like Dream?! I already wasn’t the best at being president! What if I screw up and they put me in pandora’s vault too!”

Tommy hugged Tubbo. “You were a great president, you just had to deal with bad people. And they’re not going to put you in some stupid fucking vault for a mistake.”

“And if they do, we call in Mumbo. Speaking of him, I should call him over.” Grian pulled out his communicator and hit the call button for Mumbo, putting it on speaker for the fun of it. When the redstoner answered, Grian spoke in a dramatic and joking tone into the microphone. “Mumbo. Babe. Light of my life. Father of our children.-”

Though Grian sounded like he was going to continue, a tired sounding Mumbo came through to stop him. “What do you need Grian?”

“We’re at Tommy’s base. Can you come over and meet everyone?”

“I was already planning on finding you. I’m of course on Grian watching duty after that stunt you pulled. I would have already shown up but the redstone blocks finally needed replacing.”

“Remember to bring scaffolding. You know water and redstone don’t mix.”

“I’m well aware. Bye Grian.” And Mumbo hung up.

Grian and Tommy explained more of everything on Hermitcraft and answered more questions while they all waited for Mumbo. Finally there was the distinct noise of scaffolding being placed and they saw a tower appear in front of the window and then keep going up. From below, they could hear Mumbo talking to someone else he had brought along. “You don’t need that much. Grian said they’re only on the sixth floor.”

“But I want to see Tubbee! Tubbee Tubbee Tubbee!”

“You can see Tubbee later. C’mon, let’s see Grian first.”

After the talking stopped, up the scaffolding came what looked to be a small child. Behind them was someone a bit taller, but obviously still young, and last was a man in a black suit and a mustache.

“Dad!” The smallest one ran over and jumped at Grian. Wilbur looked between Grian and the kid.

“Wait, so that wasn’t a joke. You actually have kids?”

“Well you have Fundy. I have these two. Meet Grumbot and Jrumbot.” 

Wilbur opened his mouth again with a sly smirk. “Is he any good?” and then added in a wink.

When he realized what was being implied, Mumbo’s face turned a bright red and he tried talking but it was all flustered stuttering. Grian has a similar though not as pronounced reaction to the question. Jrumbot looked between his dads confused while Grumbot looked at Wilbur. “My brother and I were merely built and are powered by redstone. We have no organic parts. Our dads are not together and thus have not had se-”

“GRUMBOT!”

[scullyverse]

Covered In Skin

Prompt by Laura @bohoartist for the MSR Smut Exchange 2021;

One of them (your choice) is dealing with some sore muscles while away on a case. This leads to the other giving them a massage in one of their motel rooms. One thing leads to another... yaddayaddayadda. First Time Sex please.

This is for the lovely Laura! Your prompt was so fun to write and I really hope you enjoy it! <3 Part of the MSR Smut Exchange 2021! I had so much fun participating in this event!

Also available to read on ao3

Mulder pulls a muscle during an assignment and Scully is only too happy to give him a massage in his motel room. One thing leads to another and first time sex ensues. Set early season 7. Fic for the MSR Smut Exchange 2021.

Mulder/Scully || Smut || 9.4k words || Rating E (Explicit for smut)

“Mulder! He’s headed your way!” Scully shouted, gun raised, eyes focused as the suspect made a turn away from her.

She watched as Mulder lunged out from the corner, bringing both his own body and that of the suspect to the pavement. Scully grimaced at the noise, lowering her gun now that Mulder had the suspect pinned under his knee. The safety was flipped and her gun put back into its holster as she made her way towards him. Police removed the suspect and left Scully to help her partner to his feet, smiling up at him as her hand shielded her eyes from the sun.

“Nice job there, Mulder. I didn’t take you for the tackling type.” Scully mused, her tone light.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me yet, Scully,” Mulder teased as he brushed dirt from his pants. “I’m not just going to give all my tricks away at once.”

Her eyes rolled but she was unable to stop the slight tug of a smile on her lips as he bumped her shoulder playfully while both of them walked behind the police who loaded the suspect into the car. They had been called onto this case for an extra set of hands and though it wasn’t an X file, even Mulder had jumped at the opportunity to get off desk duty. It was a fairly simple drug bust, but Scully missed how her pulse pounded and how her adrenaline surged from being out on the field again. They stopped to watch the police car drive away and Scully crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes squinting once again against the sun.

Mulder looked down at her with soft eyes, placing his hand on her lower back; a sign of comfort, support, and - recently discovered - affection. Scully felt herself relax into his familiar caress. How can a simple touch make me feel so comforted and at the same time make me feel like shaking?

She wasn’t sure what had formed between them, they had exchanged a few odd kisses here and there over the past few months, which Scully had to admit were new and exciting. It had started one night when she had felt particularly bold, he had dropped her off at home and she’d taken a leap of faith and stood up onto her toes to kiss him. It had been short and sweet and had left her with a shy smile from the look of pleasant surprise etched onto his face. Then it had happened again, this time he had taken the initiative and kissed her at work. It was gentle and at first she had been taken aback by his forwardness, but then he had said she looked beautiful and she’d wanted to kiss him again. So she had.

Neither spoke of what it meant but it was nice nonetheless. That night they shared in his hotel room in Bellefleur, just talking into the early hours of the morning all those years ago, sparked her initial attraction to him, to his brilliance and remarkable mind. It wasn’t until later that the attraction expanded to his body too. Scully couldn’t speak for Mulder, but she knew her own hesitations towards the progression of her feelings for him. She was scared, even if it made her angry to see herself so succumbed to that fear. They were gravitating towards each other in a bubble and she feared the moment the bubble would burst, that the after effects would ruin the relationship they had before. But in their bubble she just couldn’t stop herself from constantly being sucked into his energy and inviting eyes. Eyes that seemed to captivate her for a moment now as he smiled down at her and led her towards their rental car. Her body hummed with the feeling of his strong hand on her back. So warm .

---♡---

Once they arrived at the hotel, the sun had only just set so they arranged to make use of their spare time and finish their paperwork. Scully took her time to shower and change into something more comfortable before she knocked on his door, files under her arm and glasses in hand. The air conditioning made their rooms much more accommodating than the heat outside, though Scully had still opted for silk shorts and matching singlet. Gone were the days of keeping herself overly covered in his presence; she had found herself gaining confidence around him and secretly loved the way his eyes would linger on her, finally outwardly admiring her as someone desirable. It gave her such a thrill.

It wasn’t long before Scully heard him shuffle on the other side of the door and open it with a smile. She took in his appearance; wet hair, shirt stuck to some wet spots on his skin and a pair of simple sweatpants. She was well aware he usually slept in nothing but his boxers; having been greeted by the sight in the early mornings when he answered the door rubbing sleep from his eyes. Is he being considerate to me by wearing these? Should I have been more considerate to him and changed into something more appropriate? She swallowed a slight hiccup of breath when she saw him completely transfixed on the expanse of her bare legs before his eyes moved to her chest and she felt her nipples tighten in response. His eyes met hers and she noticed his cheeks blushing. Scully could feel herself growing warm. So maybe he doesn’t mind me wearing this.

Mulder raised up his arm and Scully smiled as she ducked her head and slipped under and into the room, looking around the room with a sigh. The hotel was nice but it didn’t give much in the way of work spaces. She opted for the floor in front of the coffee table, legs crossed and tucked under her as he stood by the door for a moment.

“You okay on the floor, Scully?” He walked towards her but seemed hesitant to sit on the chair. “You can have the chair.”

“It’s fine, Mulder. I’m quite comfortable down here.”

He watched as she slid on her glasses and he finally sat down on the chair doing the same. They worked in silence, only the occasional question asked between them. With him, even silence was a comfort and Scully worked better with him next to her and the sound of his pen scrawling over paper. It reminded her of them working in their old basement office before the fire. Their old office. They continued to work and Scully was only brought out of her concentration when she heard a groan, Mulder stretching and rolling his neck. She studied him out of the corner of her eye for a moment as Mulder continued, discomfort evident on his face.

“Are you alright, Mulder?” She asked, her head tilted and tone curious.

“I’m fine,” Mulder groaned again. “Just pulled a muscle or something. Maybe tackling that guy wasn’t the smartest idea I’ve had.”

Mulder rarely showed discomfort, so Scully knew it must be uncomfortable for him. She put her glasses down and got to her feet, walking towards the bed.

“Come on. Lay down and let me give you a massage. It will help with the pain and loosen up those muscles of yours.” Scully gave the bed a pat. “Your body is probably tense in an attempt to protect the area you hurt.”

“A massage?” Mulder looked at her with a glint in his eyes. “Well, how can a guy turn down an offer like that?”

Mulder made his way towards the bed and stopped in front of her, his eyes flicking between her and the bed for a few awkward moments as his fingers hesitated in the idea of removing his shirt. In the end he chose against it and crawled onto the bed face down, a pillow pushed under his cheek for support.

“This okay? Or should I wiggle back so you can reach?” He teased.

“Shut up, Mulder,” Scully retorted in jest and rolled her eyes, climbing onto the bed and kneeling at his side as she rubbed her hands together in an attempt to warm them. “The position you are in is just fine. Push your luck and you’ll get nothing.” It was an empty threat and Mulder knew it because he just smiled and tucked one arm under the pillow.

Scully looked down at him and thought about the best way to tackle the situation before she found a spark of courage and threw caution to the wind. She rested her hands on his back before tugging at his shirt. “It will be easier if you take this off.” Scully had to bite a retort in her throat as he looked back at her with a cocked eyebrow. A playful scowl, though, was enough for him to close his mouth. Pulling the shirt over his head, Mulder revealed the vast expanse of his back to her. Scully’s eyes raked over him and for the first time she let herself admire his physique. He really is attractive. Mulder adjusted himself and got back into a comfortable position.

Straddling his thighs, a slight blush crept onto across her nose when she heard a soft moan slip from his lips. He felt hot and smooth as she ran her hands up the middle of his back with enough pressure that evoked a content rumble. Scully knew these muscles like the back of her hand but everything left her brain after a few moments of her hands on his skin. Instinct kicked in and she followed the curve of his spine, allowing her weight to travel down to her fingers. Mulder’s head tilted with a soft smile on his lips, his bottom lip pouted out in relaxation. That bottom lip looks so goddamn kissable . She shook her head in an attempt to erase the lustful thought, which caused her hair to fall and curtain her face. Good. Now maybe he can’t see me looking at that fucking lip of his.

Scully rose to her knees and shuffled forward so her hands could reach his shoulder as she worked her way towards the area that caused him pain. Settling on his ass, her eyes focused on how his skin rippled under her the movement of her fingers until Mulder suddenly jolted away from her.

“Is that where it’s uncomfortable?” Scully questioned, easing the pressure off slightly as she looked down at him with warm eyes.

“Yeah,” Mulder nodded. “Keep going though. Feels amazing, Scully.”

Scully pressed harder once again and settled back into a rhythm as Mulder moved his head and rested it back into the pillow, shielding his eyes from her. His muscles soon relaxed under her touch as she continued to work, a deep blush blossoming on her cheeks, and a warmth soon settled in her stomach as she bounced slightly against his ass with every movement of her hands. The way the curve of his right ass cheek managed to hit just the right spot applied a delicious pressure between her legs. Stop, god, you need to stop right now . She knew she should but she didn’t seem to have control over how her hips rocked gently against him. Scully heard a sudden intake of breath and she stilled instantly. Was that noise from me or him? She couldn’t be sure and she mentally chastised herself for being so focused on the feeling of him underneath her to maintain awareness. Suddenly everything seemed deathly quiet and she could swear she could hear her heartbeat.

“Keep going.” Mulder whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

There was a sudden shift in the air as Scully swallowed, her fingers continuing once more, this time making a solid attempt to keep her hips still. He wanted her to continue the massage and she would keep herself professional and do just that. Though it was impractical to keep them completely still and she couldn’t help the slight movement as she bore her weight down into her hands. Scully bit her lip and tried to focus on her fingers moving against his muscles, which became increasingly harder when she felt fingertips brushing delicately against her knee. Don’t look. Just keep going. She tried, but after a few moments she looked down and saw Mulder’s fingers playing with the skin of her knee with his head still planted firmly into the bed. Is he aware he is doing it?

Scully said nothing and the more it continued the more she didn’t want it to stop. Every touch sent butterflies to her stomach and it was those butterflies that spurred her on, to rock her hips again now unable to stop her natural instinct to seek relief of the heat she could feel between her legs. Scully bit her lip as a warmth crept up her chest. When did I become so aroused? The air seemed thick and she held back a moan when she felt his hips move beneath her. The way his hips rolled against the bed only added to the palpable tension of the room.

“S-Scully.” Mulder cleared his throat.

She opened her eyes when she heard her name. Wait, were my eyes closed? Scully looked down to meet his gaze, his eyes were almost black and his cheeks had a flush all of their own.

“I’m not sure this is the type of massage you signed up for,” he chuckled in an attempt to ease the tension between them, rolling his hips once again to keep his weight off the bed. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Wha-oh!” Scully exclaimed.

It took a second for everything to register, then the flush of arousal on her cheeks was suddenly replaced by a deep blush of embarrassment. She removed her hands and quickly moved off him before moving back to sit on her knees. “I’m sorry Mulder, I didn’t realise.” Well that was a lie. It was obvious her movements had some effect on him, she could feel it in how he seemed to be dry humping the bed. Scully bit her lip and couldn’t take her eyes off him as he rolled over and she caught a glimpse of the erection tented in his pants, a small wet patch on the fabric. Mulder grabbed a pillow, pressing it into his lap as he moved to sit against the headboard.

“I’m sorry about this,” Mulder paused, looking at her with a childish blush of his cheeks as he nodded to the pillow before avoiding her gaze. “It will go away soon.”

They sat in silence for a moment before Scully felt his eyes on her again. He watched her with his bottom lip still pouted, though Scully now figured it was from arousal. God, how I want to kiss you. Scully licked her lips as her thoughts raced along with the rapid pounding of her pulse in her chest and between her legs. She had seen Mulder in all states of human emotion before. But arousal hadn’t been one of them until now and the way he looked at her kicked her hormones into overdrive. It was like the last six years of pent up energy hit her all at once and her body ached for him now that he was so close .

“I guess you just give one hell of a massage.” His voice was rough and low but he gave her a gentle smile.

She could tell he was trying to lighten the mood and she appreciated him for that; her lips curled into a small smile to show him she was thankful for his attempt to ease the tension between them. But her body was tuned into him now and she found herself unwilling to hold herself back any longer. Please, God. Don’t let this be a mistake. Please. A silent prayer was sent above as she got to her hands and knees and crawled towards him, stopping beside him before getting up onto her knees. Mulder watched every movement with a tightened grip on the pillow. They were now close enough to share the same breath as she reached out to trace his jaw with her thumbs and over the slight stubble on his chin. Her thumbs stopped on his lips as they pushed gently down on his bottom lip, the air thick and all Scully could feel was his warmth.

“Kiss me.” Scully said with a hushed whisper. She wanted him. Oh, how she wanted him.

Mulder searched her eyes and kissed her thumbs before arching his neck and meeting her lips. Oh, I forgot how soft his lips are . Scully moaned into his mouth as she tasted the salt and liquid warmth that was just so Mulder . She leaned forward and urged him to deepen the kiss with a lick of her tongue on his bottom lip and when he parted his lips, that was all the invitation she needed. When their tongues touched for the first time she felt a shiver shoot down her spine. This is new. They hadn’t shared anything but chaste kisses in the past and that was nothing compared to how he felt against her tongue. Mulder rumbled deep in his chest which caused Scully to whimper in return, allowing herself to be consumed by him. How have I not kissed him like this before? When on earth did he learn to kiss like this? I feel so hot. How can a kiss make me feel this hot? Damn him.

The kiss was heated and fervent and Scully found herself conflicted; she didn’t want it to end but she also wanted to turn and run in the opposite direction. Though that hesitation got smaller and smaller with every brush of his fingers on her skin and movement against her lips and when he nibbled on her bottom lip, her knees buckled with arousal. He pulled away from her sudden movement and she swallowed a whine of disapproval, sitting back down onto her heels. Her lips were hot and swollen as she caught her breath, his fingers still resting on her collarbones and every brush sent pulses down to her centre. He looked so beautiful in this state of arousal and she didn’t think it possible for his bottom lip to look even more kissable than before.

The air between them sat heavy as they both looked at each other and gathered their bearings. Scully found herself unsure of what to do; her mind and body were still conflicted, but the longer her eyes lingered on his lips, the more she found herself running out of excuses to push him away. There was a primal attraction and if he was willing, she wanted to submit to it and give herself to him. Well, only one way to find out. There’s no turning back now anyway, right? Scully moved one hand and reached for the pillow, intertwining her fingers with his as Mulder gripped the pillow tighter.

“Scully…You don-“

“I want to.” Scully’s voice was soft but firm.

Mulder searched her eyes before he relented. Scully felt her pulse quicken as she removed the pillow and threw it to the side of the bed, his eyes on her as she looked down to admire the full state of arousal he tried to shield from her. They had seen each other naked before and she hadn’t been able to stop herself from looking at him, purely out of curiosity, under the spray of the quarantine showers, but she had never seen him aroused and so proudly on display just for her.

A deep hunger settled in her body and she fought herself to not just reach out and touch him. I know that I want him. But I need to know that he wants this too. Straddling his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck for support and this time he was the first to make a move. He pulled her in for a kiss with a smile on his lips, one that Scully eagerly replied with one of own. Mulder’s smile faltered when she rubbed herself against him, pushing his erection flush between them. A groan fell from his lips as she rolled her hips, the friction delicious as Scully pulled away from the kiss, their foreheads pressing together as they continued to rock. His hands hovered above her exposed thighs, his fingers opening and closing in fists as his hips rolled with her, making serious attempts to thrust against her damp centre. He’s so eager and man do I want him inside me.

Her eyes watched him as he fought with himself, obviously unsure if he could touch her like he wanted to. Is he hesitant to push me too far? There was something inside her that felt guilty for how she pushed him away so much in the past. He looked at her confused when she stopped her hips before she reached down and took his hands in hers, putting them on her thighs to give him encouragement.

“You can touch me. I want you to touch me,” Scully coaxed, her voice soft and husky. “Please, Mulder.”

Scully sucked in a breath as she allowed him to move his hands up her thighs, resting her hands on his arms in a soft hold as he explored her skin. Mulder guided his hands under the thin fabric of her shirt and her hips began to move again, her body now pulled flush against him. She bit her lip as he looked down at her breasts pushed against his chest and her nipples hardened from the sensation. Mulder’s hands moved to grasp her ass with no hesitation now as he encouraged the movement of her hips. Yes, touch me.

“You have no idea how long I have wanted to feel you in my lap like this.” Mulder remarked with a smile on his lips that Scully could only describe as a smirk of pure lust. His thumbs tucked into her underwear and the touch was so intimate it caused arousal to flood from her centre.

“I’ve wanted it too,” Scully bowed her head with a smirk which only made Mulder’s smile grow. “I still want it.”

Scully moved to kiss him with instantly parted lips, inviting him to deepen the kiss with enthusiasm. His hands held her tight as he gave a sharp thrust of his hips, causing Scully to give a high pitched sigh as she bit his lip once before resting her nose on his cheek.

“I need you.” Scully whispered.

Her hands slid down between them and rested either side of the erection tented in his pants as her fingers itched to touch him. He’s so close . Scully shifted back and his hips stilled as she looked at him with pleading eyes.

“Please, Scully.”

Her whole body quivered as a sharp jolt of arousal shot through her at how he begged her. Fuck, Mulder, you need to beg me again . She bit her bottom lip, removed his pants and watched how his erection sprung itself free and lay hard and swollen against his stomach. God, you are so beautiful . The tip of his cock leaked for her and it nearly made her whimper. Nearly. His fingers tangled in her hair as they kissed, his thumbs brushing her cheeks in affection that made Scully’s heart jump. Trust didn’t come easy for her and especially not in the bedroom, but right now she trusted Mulder with her body. He smiled into the kiss and gasped when Scully’s fingertips brushed the underside of his cock, her blunt nails dragging softly from base to tip.

“I didn’t know a bed could get you so aroused, Mulder.” Scully purred.

Mulder opened his eyes, looking at her smirking in affection while her nails continued to tease him. “You know full well it wasn’t the bed, Scully.”

“No. I guess it wasn’t.” Scully bit her bottom lip as she watched Mulder’s head fall backwards with pleasure.

She wrapped her fingers around his cock and began to stroke up and down. Mulder was so warm and his skin so soft in her hand as she collected his precum and used it to coat her fingertips so she could glide easier against his cock. Mulder groaned, gripping the sheets as he started to thrust his hips in a desperate attempt to achieve some relief. Taking her time, Scully marvelled at the different moans and gasps she brought out of him with the different movements of her hand; like a twist of her wrist or a squeeze of the tip of his cock. She caught him off guard when she cupped his scrotum and his hips jolted up, parting his thighs to allow more space as her hand sped up. Soon though, Mulder stopped her.

“Wait. I want to touch you too.” Mulder cleared his throat. “And if you keep doing that this is going to end much quicker than either of us want.”

Scully blushed in understanding. “I want you to touch me too.” Fuck how I want you to touch me .

Mulder nodded as Scully stood up on shaky legs as she removed her shorts, her fingers resting on the band of her underwear. She watched how Mulder visibly swallowed, eyes fixated on her. Scully would have been embarrassed with how wet she knew she was if she wasn’t already so far gone. He was so close to where she desperately wanted him and her eyes nearly bulged out of her head when she felt his forehead on her stomach, his hands resting on the back of her thighs, holding her against him. Scully whimpered and her body arched into him when he placed a tender kiss on her underwear. This man is going to be the death of me.

He sat back and it gave her space to take a breath before removing her underwear. Mulder helped her back to her knees, her chest heaving as he touched her. O-Oh . His fingers slipped between her folds and she parted her legs further to let him explore. The way he touched her was soft but firm. No comment was made about the slick sounds from his fingers exploring her wetness, but her arousal seemed to only spur him on. She gripped his shoulder to keep herself balanced as she closed her eyes. Mmm keep going. Please keep going. Mulder’s fingers brushed over her clit and her knees shook as Mulder helped her to straddle him once again. As he collected her wetness onto his fingers, nuzzling into her neck, Scully couldn’t help arching into him.

“God, Scully,” Mulder moaned, his breath tickling her ear. “Is this for me?”

“Yes,” Scully gasped when his fingers teased her entrance. “All for you.”

Scully’s toes curled and her hips shifted closer in an attempt to achieve more stimulation as her hands wrapped around him, his chin resting on her shoulder with his lips brushed against her neck. Her breath was harsh when his fingers finally entered her. Yes. Mmm yes. Scully moaned when he started a gentle rhythm of fingers inside and his thumb against her clit. Her body craved more and it was if he read her mind, adding another finger and curling them to hit the soft spot against her inner walls which caused her inner muscles to grip him tightly.

“Yes.” It was a whisper against his skin as she rocked her hips, focusing on the pleasure that he sparked inside her.

It was like she felt him everywhere all at once, his scent filling her nose and she felt nothing but the warmth radiating from him. She needed to feel him, it was a sudden urge deep down that craved the skin on skin contact. Scully pulled away and he arched an eyebrow before she bit her bottom lip and pulled her shirt over her head.

She heard him suck in a breath as his eyes stared at her stomach. Scully looked down and watched his thumb brush against the gold ring in her belly button with a glint in his eyes.

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to have a piercing,” Mulder teased. “Knowing you have this under those suits of yours…there’s just something so incredibly hot about that, Scully.”

Scully chuckled at his captivation. “Just my piercing?”

He looked back up at her but stopped when he caught sight of her breasts, her nipples hard, dusky pink and desperate for his touch. Scully could have laughed at the look on his face, like he had momentarily forgotten she was naked and was caught off guard by seeing her breasts for the first time. She had seen Mulder aroused, but the look in his eyes now as he admired her was something else. It was just pure unadulterated hunger and she felt a shiver.

“Definitely not just the piercing. Jesus, Scully.” Mulder praised.

Mulder’s eyes never left her breasts, and her nipples - if it was possible - grew harder under his gaze. Stop looking and just put that mouth on me alre-Oh! She didn’t have time to speak, even her thoughts faltered when he leaned down and licked the valley between her breasts before wrapping his lips around her nipple.

“Oh. Mmm.” Scully breathed out.

Her head fell back and her hips rocked harder against his willing fingers, his mouth hot and wet around her. She just wanted to be completely consumed by him and that fucking talented mouth of his. It was easy to fall and get lost in how his tongue swirled around her and she jolted back to reality with a sharp pulse of arousal to her clit as he bit down on her nipple.

“F-Fuck!” Scully gasped with a high pitched whine.

Mulder paused instantly and looked up at her, her eyes snapping open with a whimper as she looked to him with pleading eyes. Why did you stop? Don’t stop! She was about to open her mouth and complain when she felt his fingers ram into her suddenly, the wind sucked out of her lungs, her muscles clamping around his fingers in appreciation. The new pace made it hard to keep eye contact with him, but the look of awe and lust he gave her seemed to make it unavoidable.

“Say it again.” Mulder commanded, his fingers thrusting into her again.

Her body jolted forward, her head lulling to the side when he returned to her chest, now focused on the nipple he ignored the first time. It took her a moment, but she smirked when her brain realised what he was talking about. Oh, so that’s it. You like to hear me curse. She was going to retort with a smart remark but her brain lost function when he bit down on her sensitive bud again.

“Fuck.” Scully whimpered, her fingers threading through Mulder’s hair. “So good.”

She felt him smirk against her and the warmth between her legs began to grow, her body completely tuned into him and the way he worked her higher towards that peak. Her thighs shook and as much as she loved him against her chest she needed his lips again. Her fingers tugged at his hair, pulling him to her again, the kiss messy and hot, just what she needed. She panted and rocked her hips harder against him as she felt his hips take full advantage of their closer position, his cock bumping against her pelvic bone on every thrust of his hips and she found it incredibly arousing that he was getting so caught up in what he was doing to her.

Scully was getting closer as his fingers sped up, his thumb unrelenting against her clit and she found herself needing to touch him. Fuck, I’m so close, and you’re going to come with me, Mulder. I want you to come with me. Her hand slipped between them and her thumb collected his precum before sliding down slickly and in time with how his fingers worked inside her. He groaned loudly as his head fell back and Scully took the opportunity to lick the exposed column of his neck, her eyes fluttering closed when the saltiness of his skin hit her tongue. Mmm you taste exquisite. Mulder gave a loud moan as his hips shot upwards, his fingers faltering for a moment when she bit the underside of his jaw.

“Hold on.” He stopped her hand and intertwined their fingers with a smirk. “I can’t think properly when you do that. And I’m trying to make you come here.”

“But I want to come with you,” Scully replied, tugging his hand to her lips and kissing it, so desperate to have him inside of her. “I need you inside me. Please.”

Mulder’s fingers paused as they kissed again before he removed his fingers, much to Scully’s reluctance, changing their positions. It ended in tangled limbs and they both laughed, Scully on her back with him settled between her legs. They continued to chuckle together as they kissed, Scully’s hands on his arms as they kept his weight off her. It was sudden, the way the air shifted and their chuckles died down, looking into each other’s eyes, Mulder brushing her hair away from her face. All previous hesitations she had before were gone and she wanted nothing more than for him to take her.

“Please, Mulder.” Scully begged. She wasn’t normally one to beg, but her body needed the release he had promised earlier, already completely on edge.

Her legs widened in invitation as he kissed her, the kiss seemingly different than the ones before. This was slow and warm and it seemed to convey all the feelings he had for her without words, her heart thumping in her chest and her fingers gripping his arms in an attempt to keep herself grounded. She had never felt such almost overwhelming affection before and it took her breath away. I need him. I need him. I need him. It was a mantra in her head as her fingers slinked down to rest on his stomach, his muscles rippling under her touch.

“I need you, Scully,” He got to his knees and stroked himself as she watched him. “I can’t wait anymore.”

Scully nodded and bit her lip. “I need you too.”

She got to her elbows and watched him as he slid his cock through her folds, gathering her arousal and using it to lubricate himself. There was something so erotic about the sight that Scully felt her clit pulse with her heartbeat and arousal drip down to the bed. Can’t he see how ready I am for him? Stop fucking teasing! She arched her hips and gave him a raised eyebrow and was about to tell him to hurry up when his strong hand held her hips down, her head falling back when he pushed against her and slipped inside.

“Yes!” Scully moaned loudly.

Mulder’s bottom lip was tight between his teeth as he continued to slide inside with little resistance with how aroused she was and every inch he moved inside her felt incredible. They watched their bodies coming together until he was flush against her and her head thumped back against the pillow. Fuck, yes! That’s what I’m talking about. He adjusted his position and she wrapped her legs around the back of his knees to hold him close against her. Their lips met in a deep kiss as she took her time to adjust to him, her inner muscles fluttering against him with a hum of approval. His hips flexed when her muscles relaxed and she gave him a squeeze with her legs to encourage him to move.

He moved and she had to break the kiss in order to take a sharp breath as she dug her nails into his skin, Mulder’s head falling forward and his hot breath panted against her skin as he struggled to maintain a slow, gentle pace. She admired the way he cared for her but she was already so desperate, she needed to feel him and feel how much he wanted her. Scully’s fingers moved down to rest on his ass, gripping his cheeks firmly, her hands moving in time with his hips.

“Don’t hold back,” Scully emphasised her words with a tight grip of his cock with her inner muscles. “Show me how much you want me.”

Mulder grunted against her before he moved his hips more eagerly as he exposed her neck and wasted no time in kissing and sucking the soft skin behind her ear. Cheeky. She was sure it would leave a mark but she was too far gone to care. All she needed was for him to keep going, his mouth was right on her ear and the way his hot breath tickled her made her back arch.

“I want you so much,” Mulder’s hips continued to thrust, the slapping of their skin and panting breaths, the only sounds in the room. “I’ll always want you.”

Her vision became slightly blurred as she captured his lips and urged him on faster, his heartfelt sentiment sparking something inside her that made her want to give all she had to him. They were never good with words but their bodies seemed to speak for them as years of sexual attraction and emotional connection finally came to a peak. Her body was warm and so surrounded by him, making her feel protected and vulnerable at the same time. Her toes flexed when he changed the angle and he brushed against her g-spot, causing the sparks of her orgasm to build.

“Keep going. Please, don’t stop.” Scully hummed.

Mulder rested his forehead against hers and his hips pumped harder, Scully’s back arching into him. Sliding one hand between them to her clit, Mulder looked down and moaned his approval before he kissed her again, whispering against her lips. “And don’t you stop doing that.”

Scully wasn’t planning on it, especially not with how quickly she could feel her orgasm building, and not with how he managed to brush her hair off the sweaty skin of her cheeks so tenderly while he fucked her into oblivion. Her legs fell from around him and parted wider, causing him to get a deeper angle which was about all her body could take. Her eyes closed and she dug tight into his ass, her inner muscles clenching tight in preparation for the orgasm that had started to blossom in her toes, ready to shoot through her whole body at a second's notice.

“Look at me, Scully.” Mulder begged.

Scully’s eyes opened, desperation on her face as her fingers rolled against her swollen clit, her legs raising off the bed to achieve the right angle. She was so close she could almost taste it.

“I can’t hold on anymore!” Scully all but sobbed in pleasure, her nails deep into his ass with a force that caused him to hiss and rock against her, frantically desperate to push her over that edge.

“Come for me. Let me feel you.” Mulder coaxed, lips right next to her ear.

“I’m coming!” The whine from Scully’s throat was primal and raw. There, fuck, right there, oh god! Her eyes slammed shut and her legs shook when she felt her orgasm rip through her body, lights exploding behind her eyes.

Scully panted as her orgasm crashed over her, her entrance contracting around him in rapid succession, the white heat of her orgasm washing over her in blissful waves. Mulder groaned and slowed his hips down in an attempt to draw out her pleasure in replacement of his own obvious desperation to achieve release.

“Jesus, Scully!” Mulder grunted.

Scully’s body continued to shake beneath him as she rode out her orgasm, her whole body alive and sparking just for him. When the pleasure began to ease, her body relaxed and her legs fell open onto the bed, her chest heaving in an attempt to get her breath back as she opened her eyes to watch Mulder brush her hair away, a smile on his face.

“You are so beautiful.” Mulder confessed and it made Scully break out in a warm smile, her face relaxed in pure bliss. His words only made her body feel warmer, her heart swelling in her chest.

She got lost in his eyes as he kissed her, the kiss soft before desire kicked in and he groaned against her lips, rolling onto his side, and although Scully was momentarily confused, she smiled and allowed him to pull her with him as she rested her leg high on his waist. One of his hands held her thigh against him and the other slipped between her and the bed to pull her closer to him as he started to thrust again. This new angle was different and allowed deeper penetration which caused her head to fall forward into the crook of his neck as his hips worked harder against her, his fingers digging deeper into the supple flesh of her thigh.

She felt so enveloped by how his scent and sweat covered her skin, his large frame cradling her close in an entanglement of limbs. It was an intoxicating feeling and she could already feel herself becoming addicted to it. Burying her nose into his shoulder she nibbled on his exposed skin, tasting the saltiness of him on her tongue and she could sense he was close with how his hips lost their rhythm and became erratic. Scully suspected he was trying desperately to hold on and she had to admit that she didn’t want it to end either, but she wanted him to feel the pleasure he had given her moments before. She wanted to see him completely and utterly vulnerable for her.

“It’s okay, let go,” Scully whispered as she kissed his lips, pulling back only enough to speak again. “Come for me, Mulder.”

He nodded with a whine and it quickly became her new favourite sound. Mulder gripped her thigh tighter and she knew there would be marks there in the morning but it felt too good to care. Mulder’s hips faltered for a moment when he rolled them back into their original position, Scully’s leg’s spread wide and open for him as he lifted his head, picking up his pace with closed eyes and parted lips, panting as his hips started to shake. Wow, you look absolutely gorgeous like this, Mulder. So beautiful.

Mulder’s hand quickly let go of her thigh and she let it fall to the bed as he pushed himself up and pulled out of her. Scully grunted in disapproval with the emptiness left, clenching around nothing and missing his fullness until her brain clicked onto what he was doing a few moments later. If she hadn’t already been completely soaked she would have been now. Mulder held himself up on his knees and elbows with his cock resting close to her, his fist frantically pumping, Scully biting her lip as she reached down, resting one hand on his pubis, so close that his fingers brushed against her wrist with every stroke.

His eyes were closed and she took the time to look down and watch his swollen cock slide effortlessly in his fist with the mixture of their arousal. How she so desperately wanted to touch him and feel him release into her hand, but she didn’t want to ruin his pleasure so she just dug her nails slightly into his skin in compromise and that seemed to be enough of a stimulation as his hips bucked and his eyes snapped open. Scully’s stomach muscles rippled as the tip of his cock brushed against her skin and poked into her belly button on occasion, the slight tug at her piercing sending fresh jolts of arousal straight to her core.

“S-Scully…” Mulder stuttered as he looked down between their bodies. “So close.”

“Yes.“ Scully purred in return, her eyes fixated on him as he brought himself over the edge.

Groaning loudly, Mulder let his orgasm wash over him as he held his cock against her, spurting thick ropes of cum that coated her stomach. Scully arched up as the hot liquid hit her skin, her eyes focused on him in the throes of his orgasm. His hand continued to stroke himself as he whined, the head of his cock bumping into her belly button as he gently thrust against her, cum still dripping out of him. Oh wow . It was one of the hottest things Scully had seen and she bit her lip, her fingers digging into his skin as he slid against her stomach, coating her even more with his desire. He moaned as Scully gripped his hair and pulled him down to kiss him again.

He was almost breathless and after the kiss she let him fall down onto her, the mess between them forgotten as she wrapped her arms and legs around him in a warm embrace. She wasn’t normally one to enjoy the heavy weight of a man on top of her, but with Mulder it just felt so comforting. A hum of approval rumbled in her throat as he nuzzled into her and she closed her eyes, just taking in his warmth and enjoying the post-coital bliss. It wasn’t until Scully became aware of the stickiness between them that she started to pull away and he got back onto his knees, a blush on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry about that, Scully,” Mulder smirked as he ran his hands up her thighs and to her bent knees. “You took away my brain function there for a second.”

Scully smiled and shook her head. “Don’t apologise, I liked feeling you on top of me. It felt...” She paused as if trying to find the right word as she got to her elbows. “Comforting.”

They looked at each other before she looked down at her glistening stomach. It made her clit throb knowing that she was covered in him and nothing but him. Mulder followed her eye line as Scully reached down to collect the liquid in her belly button before his eyes grew wide.

“Oh, shit! Your piercing!” Mulder spluttered with panic in his eyes. “I didn’t mean…Is it going to get infected? I didn’t think! I’m so sorry.”

Scully let him rush out his panic before she giggled, her head falling back as she struggled for breath. Opening her eyes, Scully immediately felt guilty when his face still showed nothing but worry. She smiled before she carefully sat up and brushed his jaw with her thumb.

“No, no, please don’t worry. It’s okay, honestly,” Scully traced his frowned eyebrow. “It won’t get infected. It’s been healed for years, it’s okay.” Scully watched him nod and sigh with relief.

“Was that okay?” He asked.

She guessed he wasn’t just talking about the way his desire was cooling on her stomach but about what they had just done. It was definitely a huge step in their relationship and one she didn’t think would have happened like this - well, if she was honest she hadn’t really been sure if it would have happened at all, even though there had always been a part of her that wanted him. Scully got up onto her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck, sucking his cum off her finger, Mulder licking his lips in approval.

“It was more than okay,” Scully confided as she looked into his eyes and tried to swallow down the lump of emotion that dwelled into her throat at the look of love in his eyes. Oh god, please don’t look at me like that, my heart can’t take it. But she smiled and bit her lip. “A lot more than okay.”

Mulder nodded in relief before he kissed her again, Scully moaning into his lips as she pulled away. “Come on, we should go get cleaned up. I don’t want to ruin the sheets.”

Mulder smirked as Scully struggled to move on wobbly legs. “You okay there, Scully?”

Scully playfully smacked his arm, taking the hand he offered to help her off the bed. “Shut up, Mulder.” Her tone was light as she intertwined their fingers and pulled him towards the bathroom, Mulder following behind her and never letting go of her hand.

---♡---

The shower was just what Scully needed. They washed together, Mulder made sure she washed her belly button thoroughly, and she smiled when he washed her hair before they melded together under the spray of the water. It was soft and gentle, even when Mulder took her again against the cool tiles of the shower. Their orgasms came quickly and even though they weren’t as strong as the ones before, they were just as pleasurable. Once they finished, he lowered her to the floor and they washed again, Scully cleaning their mixed arousal off her inner thighs. They dried together, smiling, before they made their way back into the room. Mulder got under the covers of the bed and watched as Scully gathered their clothes and put them onto the coffee table next to their forgotten paperwork, which they could finish over the weekend. Scully looked over at him as he lay there with the empty side of the bed’s covers pushed back in invitation.

There was a part of her deep inside that went on high alert and told her she needed to run, to get out of this situation and that the feelings of love and adoration she felt for him were too much, as they started bubbling up in her chest. They were too intense to process with her brain pumping endorphins around her body and she knew she couldn’t trust her judgement right now. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind to make a decision when her body called for her to go to him and leave the consequences to be dealt with tomorrow. Oh, how easily she could succumb to them. It was frightening, really. She stood there for a moment in the middle of the room, her towel loosely wrapped around her body, her heart pounding in her chest. Scully felt her eyes drawn to him, his gaze soft as he sat up against the headboard.

“You don’t have to stay, Scully.” Oh, how well you can read me, you always have been so good at it. Damn you. His voice was soft and she felt a sting to her heart when she heard a trace of sadness there. “I understand if you want to go. It’s okay.”

What are you doing? Stop with this shit! This is Mulder. This is the Mulder who you just slept with. This is the Mulder who looks at you like he truly loves you. Just go to him! Her heart screamed at her, but her head told her she needed time to process and she shouldn’t jump into something just because her body wanted it. She couldn’t fuck this up. Not with Mulder, he meant far too much to her. Scully swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded before collecting her clothes and leaving the room, not looking back to him because she knew it would be too hard to leave if she did. Scully rested her back against the door after it shut and looked into her room; it was so dark and empty, the light of his room peaked from under the door and she already missed the warmth.

Walking over to sit down on the bed, Scully let her arms hug around her body in an attempt at self comfort. She so desperately wanted to allow herself the happiness of being wrapped in him, but she didn’t want to possibly ruin what they had; because what they had was just too fucking important to her. It was probably the most important thing to her. Sex could just be sex. But feelings would make things harder, they always did.

Scully ran her hands over her face and brushed her wet hair back as she let her towel pool in her lap. But you want to go back there, stop denying yourself that. Things felt right, didn’t they? It had actually been amazing how naturally they had come together, as though they’d been doing it for years, and she supposed that parts of them had. He hadn’t given her any reason to doubt how much he cared for her and she felt herself wondering if maybe she should ignore her head for once. In all the years what has it gotten me? An empty bed and an even emptier heart . Biting her bottom lip, Scully gave a little strangled whimper when she tasted him still on her lips.

There was a deep ache that had settled between her legs and a bruised feeling on her thigh and all she felt was him, the thought only causing her heart to ache too. She wanted him and she wanted to let herself have that happiness she craved. Hell, even if it only lasts a little, it will be better than not having it all, right? They could work things out later, she just wanted to let herself have tonight. If that was all God was going to give her, she would make it count.

She pulled her towel back around her body and got to her feet, making her way towards the door, her hand lingering on the door knob before she decided to knock. It only took one tap of her knuckles against the wood before she heard him on the other side. “You don’t have to knock, Scully.”

Opening the door, she saw Mulder sitting up in bed, the covers still open in invitation for her. He gave her a questioning look, and just him so close to her again made her heart beat faster. This is where she wanted, no, needed to be. In the warmth and the light, not in the cold darkness alone. Not anymore . Scully gave him a reassuring smile and she could have sworn she had never seen him smile so big before. He lay back, his eyes raking over her body, and when she dropped the towel to reveal her bare skin to him once again, he moaned in approval. His eyes lingered on her breasts before they moved over her piercing, the patch of auburn curls between her legs, then travelled up to her eyes.

“You’re killing me over here, Scully,” Mulder chuckled and Scully smirked, walking towards him with a confident sway to her hips. “You need to give a guy some warning before you do that. So I can at least prepare myself.”

Scully giggled as she reached the bed, only hesitating for a split second before she slipped under the covers and looked up at the ceiling. Feeling him shift, she rolled onto her side with her back to him, unsure of how much he was willing to give her after she had pulled away once again. It didn’t take more than a few seconds before she felt his arms linger around her, hesitant to touch. Scully turned and looked into his eyes, his warmth so inviting as she shuffled towards him before raising her finger in warning, his eyebrow cocked in amusement at her playful attitude.

“If you steal my half of the blankets, I’ll kill you.” Her lips curved in amusement as he nodded and mock-pouted.

Moving as close to him as she could, she wrapped her arms around him. Mulder finally rested his arms around to hold her in a close embrace. Scully hadn’t even been aware that she’d been holding her breath, but it came out in a content sigh when he cradled her head to him and kissed the crown of her head deeply. This feels so right. He’s so soft. Legs slipped between his and there was something so intimate about how their hips connected, his cock soft and rested against her centre, curls rubbing against curls. Closing her eyes, she couldn’t help how her lips curled up when the wiry hair of his chest tickled her breasts, her body relaxing into the gentle way his fingers moved up and down her back.

“I hope your muscles are nice and relaxed now.” Scully smirked as her arms tightened around him and she kissed the skin of his shoulder.

“Very relaxed. Never felt more relaxed than right now,” Mulder paused and pulled her tighter to him, his voice a whisper. “And I’m not talking about the massage. Just being with you is so...” He paused again. “Comforting.”

As he relayed her earlier sentiment, Scully’s heart leapt. I’ve never felt so warm.

[littlemessyjessi]

“Pamper”: A Sirius Black Imagine:  Plus Size Reader

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Sirius Black Imagine Sirius Black x reader: PS Reader, Plus Size Reader

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Sirius Black narrowed his eyes at the sight before him.

His best mate of since first year and his girlfriend of just over a year sat there practically giggling together.

You'd always got on well with the boys but it would seem that over the last week or so you and James had decided to become the best of friends.

At first, Sirius had found it comical when he'd walked in and James was letting you paint his fingernails because you'd been kinda sad that day.

He knew his best mate was a good guy and he genuinely did like to see most people happy.

Especially if they were important to him and the one's he cared about it.

So Sirius hadn't really thought much else of it.

However, the next day he'd walked in his dorm to find the two of you again, laid back in his bed, eyes closed as your faces were covered in a bright blue face mask.

Sirius had teased the both of you for it relentlessly and honestly hadn't thought too much of it.

James had had a rather nasty pimple that day anyway and everyone around knew that you knew all the tips and tricks for anything beauty related.

"It's a muggle trick but I swear by it." you had told him.  "Toothpaste on it at night to bring it to a head.  Gently, and I can not stress this enough, Jamie love, GENTLY pop it the next morning.  Clean it and immediately begin moisturizing.  If you don't it'll scar." you had told him and he had nodded with rapt attention.

Sirius who knew you know your stuff very well didn't question it but that little nickname had turned his stomach just a tad.

Jamie, love.

He didn't know why it bothered him so much but it had.

The next day, he'd literally nearly had an anuerism when he found you sat across James' lap as he let you put makeup on him.

He refused to say anything and had to force a smile when you turned James' made up face to him.

"Isn't he stunning, love?" you'd asked him.

He hadn't said anything and James fluttered his newly mascara coated eyelashes at him.

"I just knew this would turn out great." you had said. "You've got lovely eyes, Jamie, love.  And great lashes!"

Sirius physically twitched at that name again and he'd drawn everyone's attention to himself when he literally stomped up the stairs to the dorm.

You tried to see him later on that night- even retrieve him for the evening meal but he wasn't having it and made Remus tell you that he wasn't feeling well and wanted to sleep.

You knew this to be a lie because even if he wasn't feeling well the first thing he'd do is actually make one of them find you to cuddle and coddle him until he felt better.

It's just the way he was and you wouldn't trade it for the world.

You were a bit put out for the rest of the night and worried after him but you knew him well enough to know that you couldn't push him.

He'd freak out if you did and so you just waited for him to come to you.

Decided not to draw attention to it and just let it go ... for now.

So needless to say... that morning you carried on as usual, perhaps even a little chipper because the pictures you'd taken of James had officially finished developing.

Loads of photographs of him prancing around in his full face of makeup wearing your clothes and being the drama queen he is.

You rushed the Great Hall and practically tackled him.

"'Ello, there, love." James had chuckled at you when you excited produced the pictures and the two of you laughed at the silly little adventure.

Meanwhile, Sirius' blood continued to boil as he sat across from the two of you.

So much so, in fact, that his face had begun to change colors.

It eventually gained your attention and you looked at him alarmed, "Siri, love, are you ok? You don't look so good, ba-"

"No, apparently not!" he snapped.  

Your eyes widened at his outburst.

Sirius had never raised his voice at you.

He was rarely snippy with you because you always gave him the space he needed and then doted on him when he was ready.

So to have him so angry and it seemingly directed at you, threw you a little.

"Hey, Pads, what's wrong?" James said.

"Oh, you shut it!" he snapped at him and James lifted his brows at him. "I don't know what's worse. The fact that my girl is after my best mate or that my best mate is after my girl."  

"Excuse me?" you gasped.  "What on earth are you on about?"

"Oh come off it!" he seethed, seemingly unaware that he had gained most of the hall's attention.  "You were literally in his bed the other day! In his lap after that!"

"That's out of context, Sirius and you know it!" you said, offended that he would even insinuate such a thing.

"You know, everyone gave me hell about dating you." he said venomously.  "Said I could never settle down and get with a good girl like you. Doesn't look like I'm the one who couldn't settle down does it?"

The boys just stared at him... along with just about everyone else.

You leveled Sirius with a look that he had never seen grace your angelic features and for a moment he knew he fucked up.

For a second, he thought you were going to cry but you simply lifted your chin.

"Sirius, I love you but you are being really, really stupid and mean right now." you said and he narrowed his eyes.

He opened to his mouth to say something but you cut him off-

"No, don't you even.  You just shut your mouth." you snapped and he flinched.

You never talked to him that way.

Ever.

You'd only ever been so sweet to him, even long before either of you had expressed an interest in each other.

"I love you." you said. "This is about as obvious as the fact that Lily is a redhead.  And don't you think that it would be nice when you love someone to get to know those that are important to them a little better?"

Sirius just stared at her and she shook her head.

"I've always got on well with the boys.  Remus and I have been fairly close since third year and after Peter started dating my sister, we learned alot about each other.  The only person who I didn't have an extremely close bond with was James.  Which is exactly the person that I wanted to because he means so much to you.  He's your best mate.  He's like your brother.  He's important to you and you're important to me... therefore HE'S important to me."

Sirius' jaw tightened as things began to click into place.

"And yes, we have been spending a lot of time together."  you said.  "We've invited you multiple times because I didn't want you to have to juggle spending time with me versus your friends.  I was trying to merge it all together.  For you.   And yes, we do have fun.   We have a lot of fun.  I don't have any brothers and my sister never let me do makeovers on her so when James didn't mind and actually enjoyed spending time with me, I jumped at the opportunity."

Sirius began to curl in on himself a little when he realized.

"Sirius, I love you." you said. "And I want those that are important to you to like me.  I want your family to like me.   And you're family isn't your last name.  I couldn't give two fucks about them.  But James and his parents are your family.  And that's important." you said taking a shaky breath.

No one said anything for a moment and you just shook your head.

"Peter." you said gaining the boys attention.  "Will you help me look for your girlfriend?  I think I need a little sister time."

Peter nodded and the two of you left the Hall... which promptly burst into whispers of gossip as soon as you did.

James gave it all of about three seconds after Sirius sat back down before he kicked the shit out of his shin.

"OW!"

"You shut it." he said reaching over and pulling Sirius in by his collar.

"Get off!"

"No, I will not." James said. "First of all, how dare you ever think I would do such a thing?  I'm your best mate and I'm obviously hopelessly in love with Lily.  Who by the way, did not seem to be phased by Y/N and us hanging out because she has some common sense."

Sirius finally shoved James off him.

"And two, I could murder you right now for even thinking that Y/N would ever hurt you." he said narrowing his hazel eyes. "You know she adores you. You're literally her favorite person in the entire world."

Sirius said nothing for  second, "I know. I'm sorry."

James just nodded, still honestly a bit miffed.

"And for the record, I enjoyed spending time with her too." James said. "I don't have any siblings.  We're like brothers now.  You, me, Remus, Pete.  But I've always been an only child.  And I certainly don't know about what it's like to have a sister.  It was fun to let her play 'dress up' on me so to speak."

"I'm sorry, Prongs." Sirius said, feeling worse by the second. "I didn't realize."

"I know you didn't." he said. "And we're fine, Pads.  But you have to know I'd never do that to you.  You're happier than I have ever seen you with Y/N.  She wanted to get closer to me for you.  And I wanted to get closer to her for you as well. It just so happened that we ended up clicking really fast.  I like spending time with her.  She's like a little sister to me now."

"Except for the fact that she's older than you." Remus said with a smirk trying to ease the tension.

"Shut it, Moony." James chuckled.

"I should go find her and apologize." Sirius sighed.

"You should definitely apologize." James said. "But I'd let her cool off a bit.  Let her talk to her sister.  You hurt her feelings and she probably doesn't want to talk to you right now."

Sirius' heart broke a little at that.

"But I have to make it up to her." he stressed.

"Oh, you're going to." James said pointedly before a smirked worked it's way onto his features making both Remus and Sirius lift an eyebrow at him.

"We're going to have a pamper night." he said matter of fact.  "Complete with facials, nails and hair styling."

"I don't let anyone touch my hair." Sirius said automatically.

It was true.

He didn't.

"You're going to let that precious angel do whatever she wants to you hair and you'll shut your trap about it." James snapped.  "Now, quit being a toad and eat your breakfast.  We've got a busy day of planning ahead."

Sirius didn't feel like eating and just poked around at his breakfast.

"And Remus, you will be participating." James said making the boy's jaw open and close.

"But I didn't-"

"I don't want to hear it." James said. "Pamper night in our dorm tonight. Now, excuse me while I figure out what we'll need."

And with that he was off to join Lily, Marlene, Alice and Dorcas to discuss the plans.

All four of them were in, of course and they spent the rest of the Saturday collecting what they'd need.

Later, that evening after a much needed cry with your sister you began to make your way towards the Great Hall for supper.

You weren't really feeling it to be honest but you knew you needed to eat so you figured you'd just get it over with and then go to bed.

Maybe tomorrow would be better.

However, you never made it there because you were intercepted almost instantly by Marlene and Dorcas who claimed that they had a fashion emergency in the dorm room.

"Guys, I'll look in a bit.  I just want to grab a quick bite and then go to bed.  But I promise I'll help you sort you fashion catastrophe in a bit." you had sighed.

"It can't wait!" Marlene had said. "I have a date tonight and I'll be late if you don't help me!"

"It really can't." Dorcas agreed and you groaned but let them drag you to the tower anyway.

As soon as you stepped foot inside you were tossed over someone's shoulder and being carried up the stairs to the boys dormitory.

After some wiggling, you discovered that it was in fact James who'd kidnapped you.

"James, listen, I love you to death and all and just cause Sirius and I got into a fight doesn't mean we'll stop hanging out but I really don't know if facials is gonna help anything right now considering."

"Oh ye of so little faith." he said with an impish look.

You simply lifted a brow at him.  "Really?"

He smiled, "Listen you've had a rough day.  So we've got a bit of a surprise for you."

"We?" you pressed and he simply yanked you into their dormitory.

You furrowed your brows at the room.

It was covered in more beauty products than you'd ever seen in your life as well as more snacks that you even thought were possible.

All four boys were there as well as the girls and in the middle, looking rather sheepish, was Sirius.

"Hey, love." he said.

You just looked at him for a moment and said, "Hey."

"Listen, I-"

"We're starting with hair masks!" James announced.

"Yep." Lily said joining his side. "So Sirius, you're first.  Y/N, wash his hair.  You're the best at it. Off with you!"

The two of you were shoved into the small room adjacent to the boys dorm and you glared at the door.

"Suddenly, I am remembering why it was a blessing that I never had a brother." you grumbled and Sirius couldn't help but chuckle.

"Eh, he has his moments." he said and his hand came up to hold you cheeks, "Baby, I'm sorry."

"I know." you said.

"And not just a sorry son of a bitch." he teased. "Although, still true."

You couldn't help but laugh and he smiled, a thumb tracing over your cheeks.

"There it is." he whispered. "My favorite thing in the whole world."

You simply looked at him for a moment and finally let out a breath, the tension easing out of you.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel left out, Sirius." you said.

He shook his head, "No, love.  I was being stupid.  I just couldn't see the forest for the trees.  What you were doing, the both of you, was really nice.  And if you and him ending up bonding and having some kind of cool brother sister moment, then that's great, baby.  Honestly.  I just got a little jealous."

You nodded and peered at him through your lashes.

Making him absolutely weak like you always did when you did that.

"Are we ok now?" you asked, softly- just a little fear trickling into your voice. "Because I love you, Siri and I don't wanna fight with you anymore. I just want us to be ok again."

He melted and cradled your cheeks in his hands, bringing your lips together in a sweet kiss.

"Of course we're ok, baby." he said, resting his forehead against yours and staring into your eyes.

"Ok." you said, a little smile tugging at your lips. "You, uh, you gonna let me wash your hair?"

He sighed and winked at you, "I guess I kinda owe you."

You grinned mischeviously and shrugged, "I mean, you don't but I want to play with your hair so I'm going to play into this and let you think that you do until I've had my fun."

He laughed and you set to work washing his long, thick locks.

His eyes rolled back as you scratched his scalp and he looked up at you from his spot on the floor by the tub as you poured water over it to wash it out.

"This does kinda feel good." he admitted.

"Yeah." you shrugged. "I know."

You gently squeezed the water from his hair and he handed you a towel but you threw it at the door aggressively.

"No!" you said, clearly offended by such a notion.

"You want me to walk around like a wet dog?" he laughed.

"No, but we can't use a towel on your hair." you said, "It'll ruin the curl pattern."

"My hair isn't really-"

"Yes it is." you said. "I know it because when you play Quidditch and you get sweaty it stays to curl.  You just brush it while it's wet with a vengeance so it doesn't show."

He lifted a brow at you again but let you wrap his hair up in an old clean t-shirt anyway.

"Don't brush when your hair is wet by the way." you said. "It can cause breakage."

"You're amazing you know that?" he said and you just nodded.

"Yes, now out with you.  Go let one of them put a mask on your face.   Be sure to let them know you want something with  honey and preferably almond oil. It will make you glow as well as other things." you said.

Sirius just smiled and pecked your cheek, "I love you."

"I love you too, lovebug." you said. "Now send James in so I can attempt to do something with his rat's nest."

Sirius barked out a laugh before sending James in and settling down for Lily to give him a face mask.

"Not a word." he said when she smirked at the pink shirt in his hair.

"I wasn't gonna say anything." the redhead smirked.

"She said to ask for something for honey and preferably almond oil.  For glowing skin or something like that." he said.

Lily smirked evilly and produced a pink face mask which made him sigh but he let her do it anyway.

Not long after, James emerged from the bathroom, hair wrapped in a purple shirt and ready to be pampered.

Dorcas approached him and he hissed at her.

"No one touches my skin but my little evil genuis." he said, yanking you along with him.

He flung himself across his bed, "Now work your magic, you skincare enchantress! My body is ready for your secrets."

"Prongs..." Sirius said with a warning but a smile still tugged at his lips.

You smiled softly and pecked Sirius' lips before turning to James and covering him in a green face mask.  

Sirius watched the two of you for a moment, cutting up as siblings would do and he realized that he was actually really happy.

Everyone he loved was in this room and having a good time together.

The love of his life and his best mate were getting on really well and he never been so at peace.

He didn't care if you wanted to dress him up as the Queen of England for the rest of his life.

He'd let you do it just to watch you laugh like that for the rest of his life.

------------------------------

Hello loves! I hope you liked this little request! I had fun writing it! If you want to see more of this version of Sirius/Reader please let me know! I had such a good time writing them and also writing the sibling dynamic between James/Reader.  I hope you're all having a lovely day and I would love to hear from you in the comments/ask box!

All my love darlings!

Kenny

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Love, Kenny

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[rainbowbutterfrosting]

The Revived - Chapter 18: Exceeding

This is chapter 18 of the Dream SMP multichapter fic @dramaticsnakes​ and I wrote together! I hope you’ll enjoy!

AO3

Read in order (on Tumblr)

Characters in this chapter: Wilbur, Ghostbur, Sapnap, George

Word count: 3,121

Cw:  Violence, getting shot, spiraling, pain, crying, tension between characters, brief discussions of lying

Fic summary: Wilbur was alive, and it was such a magnificent feeling, that made his mind spark with anticipation. It didn’t take long, however, for Wilbur to realize that this new breath of life, was not just his own. An echo-y voice hides in the back of his mind, and before he knows it, the transparent version of him he saw at the endless train station, is a lot more ingrained than he’d expected him to be.

And Wilbur really shouldn’t care. Because he’d be damned, if he spent the life he’d awaited for so long, babysitting a lost cause of a ghost, stuck in the very same limbo Wilbur spent so long in. It was an even exchange, and one Wilbur wasn’t going to mess with. Why exactly he ends up setting out to get the ghost out of his mind, in order to save the both of them, however, is beyond him. And perhaps Wilbur’s past isn’t as easy to leave behind, as he’d hoped it would be.

Sapnap stood in the entryway of Tommy’s house, expecting an answer.

Wilbur smiled in a way that didn’t reach his eyes. His voice remained passively cheery with something reserved behind it, “We were just having a talk. A private one.”

Sapnap took another step into the home, “I’m not leaving you here with him. You're looking super… off right now." Something was held back in Sapnap’s words. 

Wilbur took a second to reflect on the moment. The moment wasn’t that abnormal by itself. He pulled a fun harmless prank with George and the two were simply chatting inside a vacant home. It wasn’t necessarily his fault George had too many attachments to his Dream and refused to tell him anything as a result. Wilbur growled out, "It's nothing that concerns you. Leave." 

Sapnap kept his eyes centered on Wilbur. "George, come over here." Wilbur flickered his eyes back for a moment, seeing George try to side-step out of his way. His mind momentarily switched him with Tubbo as their actions mirrored each other. He wasn’t letting another person leave him. He wasn’t letting more information slip through his hands. He couldn’t afford it.

Wilbur harshly exhaled, “We just need to finish this up, then both of you can go do whatever." He really despised how difficult people could be. Simply blinded by a lack of understanding- one Wilbur shared- that was destructive if not properly taken care of.

And how Sapnap was a destructive fool. So easily swayed by his emotions. He pulled out a loaded crossbow, aiming it at Wilbur. His finger rested gently over the trigger, twitching occasionally. “Step the fuck away from him. Hands where I can see them.”

Annoyance filled Wilbur’s eyes. “Sapnap, don’t do anything rash. We can talk this out.” Wilbur gestured to the man in front of him, “I haven’t done a single thing wrong, isn’t that right, George?”

He looked back towards George, who immediately refused to meet Wilbur’s gaze. George was painting him as a villain. The one that cornered him until the heroic Sapnap came to save the day. The one that needed to be taken care of. The one that died to his own flaws. Heroes never died to their flaws. Heroes loaded a crossbow to protect the ‘innocent.’ 

Wasn’t Wilbur just as innocent himself? All he needed was answers to fix the mind of his. The one that insisted to be nicer and embrace the little parts of life. The child in his brain who could be removed if he simply knew a little more. Just a few more minutes of conversation and he would have all he ever needed. But with Sapnap present? He had to turn those minutes into quick moments that would pass before the man holding the crossbow even blinked. 

He placed his hand firmly on George’s shoulder, slightly pushing him back into the wall. He didn’t even intend to. He didn’t apply much pressure. “George-” He was sharply cut off by the stabbing pain in his leg. He jumped onto the other leg to avoid the painful pressure as he was tackled down by someone he couldn’t see.

A punch hit him square in the jaw, landing on top of a bruise he received from Niki not too long ago. He hissed out in pain and tried to throw the person off of him. When he caught a second to look, it was Sapnap on him, but the moment it took to realize that, he whipped his head to the side after getting punched again. 

He wiggled his arms from underneath him and weakly punched him back, unable to move his body into the motion. After more hits that made Wilbur almost dizzy, he knew he couldn’t play fair. He took his fingers and poked them into Sapnap’s eyes, making the man on top of him stop for a moment. Wilbur took the opportunity and punched him as hard as he could, flipping their position and making him on top. 

He prepared to hit Sapnap again, not even thinking about why. All he knew was he was getting attacked, and he wasn’t going to be on the losing side of history. Just as he was going to hit the man under him, a blue blur pushed him off, Wilbur’s curled up fist connecting with George’s arm with half the force he aimed for Sapnap. 

Still, he made a grunt from the impact and muttered something Wilbur couldn’t hear. George seemed to take a small, hesitant step away, but Sapnap didn’t follow suit as he rolled over and grabbed the collar of Wilbur's shirt. Sapnap must’ve pushed on the pulsing pain in his leg as he groaned from the dizzying sensation. Sapnap took it as his chance to hit Wilbur again. It didn’t just happen once, but Wilbur lost track. He just felt his head jerk back and forth and he closed his eyes from the pain. 

When the punches stopped, he opened his eyes slightly. He saw George telling Sapnap something, holding his shoulders firmly. He felt like he could see Sapnap pulling against George’s pull with an anger in his eyes. 

“He’s not worth it,” He heard George mumble. 

Despite being on the floor and writhing in pain, he hissed out at George, “Fuck you.” He felt pain connect with his face once more. He laughed bitterly. The day was saved. The hero put the villain in his spot. He wouldn't do anything bad now. The innocent people could finally live in peace.

The peace that thrived off of the villain being put to a permanent retirement. The stories he heard from a young age painted it so simply. If only he could have a permanent rest. A permanent rest from this routine he lived in. Besides, everyone else needed a break from him anyway. Just a couple of days alive, and they already needed a break.

Sapnap got off of him. Kicking the place where the pain lay in his leg as Wilbur curled up. “Shit,” he whispered, barely able to acknowledge the people still in the room as the pain throbbed once more. He whimpered quietly to himself as he heard footsteps slowly grow fainter and fainter. There was a distinct sound of voices but he didn’t bother paying attention as he closed his eyes.

“-bur! Wilbur?! Please, please respond, Wil.” Panicked whispers filled his mind. “Oh no, oh no, he’s dead. What happens if he’s dead? Do I die and get put into limbo two: electric boogaloo? Does he get put in limbo? Oh no this is bad.” 

A moment of silence was followed by a slightly calmer tone, “No trains coming. That’s good.” Ghostbur cried out in pain, “Wilbur, what did you do this time?” The question wasn’t meant directly to Wilbur, despite him being the subject of it.

Wilbur only managed a groan in response as Ghostbur excitedly gasped, “Wilbur! Can you hear me?”

Wilbur pushed himself up to where he was sitting up. His head spinned as he mumbled, “Yeah, I can hear you.”

“That’s great, because I’d like an explanation of everything that just happened. I thought you said George was your friend! And George didn’t even try to stop all of that. While I don’t think I’ve personally met him, he sounds a little rude.” 

Wilbur tried to stand up but he cried out in pain along with Ghostbur at the sensation in his leg. He muttered, “Oh shit.”

“Language,” Ghostbur bitterly mentioned.

“I got shot with Sapnap’s crossbow.” He frankly should have connected the dots earlier, but he just assumed he got kicked really hard. The blood trickled down his leg, slightly staining his pants along the way.

“Oh! Okay… how- how do we fix this?”

“Prime, Ghostbur, I have no fucking clue.” Wilbur sighed quietly to himself, “I’m not cursing at you or anything. I’m just upset that all of it happened.”

“The feeling is mutual.” 

The comment took Wilbur off-guard, “What did you say?”

“I said the feeling is mutual. Do you not know what that means? It means when-”

Wilbur cut him off, “I know what it means. I just- I really didn’t expect that out of you.” A light astonishment slipped into Wilbur’s voice.

Ghostbur sighed, “That doesn’t really matter right now. We need to focus on your- well I suppose it would be our- leg.”

Wilbur nodded vaguely. “Right. Okay step one…” Wilbur’s voice died as he tried to think of a vague-ish rule that would apply to any injury. “Get out of immediate danger.”

Ghostbur asked, “Is anyone with you?”

Wilbur shook his head, “It’s just you and me. And me and you. We got the whole place to ourselves.” Wilbur chuckled at the familiar jingle. 

Ghostbur didn’t laugh though. His voice stayed firm in a way that frightened Wilbur more than Sapnap did. “What’s step two?”

Wilbur let out a shaky breath, “Um… assess the damage taken.” Wilbur thought for a moment, “There’s gonna be swelling in the face and eventual bruises. There’s also the arrow in my right calf. The injury is on the exterior, about the middle of the leg.” He slightly moved his leg closer, making him wince in pain in company to Ghostbur’s hiss. “It doesn’t seem too deep.”

“You’re doing good so far,” The praise sounded dull, as if it was just supposed to keep Wilbur busy as his mind ran. “Now step three.”

“I’m guessing that would be taking inventory on your medical aid and equipment. As far as medical aid, I-” It was quite pathetic to say that he didn’t have anyone, so he settled on an alternative, “I don’t think anyone is nearby to help.”

“We could go to someone and get help?”

Wilbur quickly feigned an excuse, “I don’t want Sapnap or George seeing me again.”

Ghostbur hummed in acknowledgement, “Good point.” He thought for a moment. “We can’t go to Tubbo or Ranboo either?”

“George or Sapnap might see me and I don’t want to risk going into the nether.”

Ghostbur frustratedly sighed, “So no one wants to help us.” It was stated so matter of factly that Wilbur almost agreed. Instead, he slid himself up one of Tommy’s walls, standing mostly on the leg that wasn’t injured.

Wilbur tried to sugar coat the situation the best he could, “I’m sure people want to. They’re just…” Only helping him out of pity. “Unavailable.” 

“Sure. Alright, what supplies do you have?”

“I doubt I’d find much, most of the useful stuff Tommy had was transferred to Pogtopia.” Before Ghostbur could speak again, he added on, “Ghostie, are you alright?”

“It’s-” Ghostbur took a shaky breath, “You need medical attention. Focus on that first.”

“You’re just as important as I am,” Wilbur reassured.

Wilbur hated the silent response more than the arrow in his leg.

He restated, “You are just as important as me.”

The quiet voice filled his mind once more. It was hesitant and small compared to the pain that persisted in Wilbur’s head. He could hardly focus on the words themselves. "I'm not. I'm really not.”

Wilbur furrowed his brow, "Woah, where is this coming from?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just don't feel happy right now." The voice lingered in a dull disappointment that stabbed Wilbur in the heart.

Wilbur pulled a cheery voice, "Uh, you can think about Friend?"

He expected a happy rant about the shade of his wool, or the time of day the little sheep ate. He couldn’t expect anything else out of the happy little ghost. He couldn’t expect Ghostbur’s actual answer. "But then I think about things I shouldn't."

"Like what?"

"I…” Ghostbur took a shaky breath, “I feel like you lied again. No- I know you did. I just don't like to think about it too much."

“I didn’t li-” Wilbur cut himself off at the realization that he promised Ghostbur they were going to see Friend. The talk was still fresh in his mind, remembering the exact part of the cobblestone bridge he was on along with how he shifted in his clothes uncomfortably. “Oh shi- shoot. Ghostie, I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you that I didn't see Friend. I tried looking for him, but he wasn't at L'Manberg like last time."

Ghostbur bitterly laughed, "Do you really think that's all you've lied about?" Wilbur thought for a moment before Ghostbur continued, "I know I have memory problems from time to time. But I've been remembering things really clearly ever since you got revived. And nothing makes sense anymore. You said we would go to Tubbo, but now we can't. You- you said Tommy was coming back, but he never did. And- And you rarely tell me things anymore!" Ghostbur’s voice wavered with a saddened anger. It teetered in a way that made him sound like he was crying, "I thought you were my friend." Wilbur’s vision seemed to messily blur at the final words.

Somehow the ghost that loved everyone he met and named a sheep ‘Friend’ was against him. 

One could easily look at Wilbur and see him in those history books. Slightly tint the photos of him a dark gray color or a crimson red if it was recent. State so loudly that no one could stand him. Source all the lives he ruined, and explain how Ghostbur should be in the overworld instead. Let the innocent person run free as the villain rots, cold and alone. Stuck in a train station. That was where Wilbur belonged.

While part of him thought he wasn’t the villain, he was just on the wrong side of history, he knew he was lying to himself, because the two were much the same. It was a habit he developed years ago. He had to believe the best would happen and it would come. So he tried to believe the best, his tone coming off as sarcastic and uncaring, "Oh, we totally are friends! Best friends forever, y'know?" 

Ghostbur’s voice shook with such confidence and resentment, "A best friend would tell me things and stop the pain from constantly hurting." A melancholic gray filled his vision for a moment, before flickering away.

Wilbur shifted on his uninjured leg and hobbled towards the entrance of Tommy’s house. Ghostbur wanted to be told the perspective of the world. Simple. There was the wretched villain looking out of an abandoned home, squinting into sun, attempting to help a ghost trapped in his mind. Wilbur spoke in a hushed tone, “I can tell you things. There's an apple on the ground. It’s bright red-"

Ghostbur cut him off, his words rushed and eager to escape him, "Tell me the important things! The details about clouds and trees mean nothing if I'm in pain!"

Wilbur hummed in acknowledgement, “You’re right.” He hopped once more out of Tommy’s house, using the exterior of the wall to act as a support as he limped towards a familiar direction. The world was closing in on him, when he realized who he was once more. Wilbur Soot. Creator and destroyer of L’Manberg. The villain who had been slayed yet again. A repressed genius, who had been holding back for far too long. He let out a breath as he felt his entire being soaring towards the sky, out of the pain, and into the sky that belonged to him as much as his sunrise. “We’re- I’m going to Pogtopia.”

He heard sniffles echo through his mind accompanied by hisses of pains and quick apologies. It turned into white noise as he centered his mind on his throbbing leg, well- as he tried to center the pain there. His mind still ran, telling him about all the things he grinned at. 

It felt nice to be above it all. He was simply a mastermind, a work of art that no one else understood. The walk was moderately quick, but peaceful. The adrenaline must have been kicking in as his limp lessened. 

He coughed once, as he supported himself on the walls of Pogtopia. His hand ran over the buttons, and while he didn’t press them, he could hear them clicking faintly. They weren’t mocking him anymore, he thought. They were shaking underneath his grasp, and it sent a laugh through his body. “I’m here,” he said out loud.

“Great,” Ghostbur said sharply, though it was clear he had a hard time saying it.

He threw back his head a little, as if he was bored. “I’m not sure where they put the medical equipment.” He thought about his last trip to this place. “Ah, perhaps Tubbo brought it to that little bunker of his.” The name seemed to sting his tongue, but everything else stung him more, so it was hardly relevant.

“We…” Ghostbur tried with a shaky voice, “We’re not allowed to go in there without him. H- he said-”

“You were the one who said medical attention was the first priority,” Wilbur reminded the ghost, continuing to walk ahead. He received no response.

Whatever.

He remembered where the bunker was, fortunately. He soon found himself in there, and while it felt forbidden just before he walked inside, Wilbur never cared much about what he was supposed to do. The world wasn’t going to keep him down. He had been staying at the train station, with little to no light, and hours, days, years ticking ahead. He had let the comfort of tolerance, and connection that would be broken at the slightest misstep, overwhelm him. He had forgotten everything he had learned last time he was in Pogtopia. A silly little shell, who was far too easy to keep down. But Wilbur wasn’t anyone’s shell anymore.

He looked at the books and the little farms for food. One could stay there for months or longer, and remain perfectly intact. “Huh, I could do some reading while I’m down here,” he said.

“Please- please take…” Ghostbur’s voice wavered, though the next part came out harshly, “Please take care of the wounds.”

Wilbur rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I will.”

Ghostbur responded to that with a hiss of pain, but Wilbur barely noticed as he walked to the nearest chest to pick up some bandages. There was thankfully a potion of regeneration, and something that would disinfect the wound. He wished it was an instant health instead, or even just having more potions in general. 

Regardless, he sat down on a chair, feeling the pain slightly more as his leg changed position. He looked at the arrow. “I’m going to remove the arrow now. Brace yourself I guess.”

Ghostbur held his breath, and Wilbur ripped it out with as much quick force as he could, knowing full well that it would be less painful to get it done quickly. “There we go.” His smile wavered for a moment, though he settled on the most confident expression he could muster. He’d done this countless times before. Ghostbur sobbed, and Wilbur huffed. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Ghostbur didn’t respond though. Instead, Wilbur heard the sound of muffled cries and whimpers echoing through his mind.

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

One Shot: Phobias 

Summary: Katie encounters an enemy FAR WORSE than anything she’s seen before. Can Steve saver her before it’s too late?

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Language, Spiders, and a little bit of fluff

A/N: So this is a little one shot/drabble that came to me after my husband saved my life from a monster in the bathroom...

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 7

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

“SSSSTEEEEEEEEEVE!” 

The scream made the glass of water in Steve’s hand slip to the point he almost dropped it. Placing it down with a slam on the coffee table he stood up and bolted down the hall towards his bathroom only to be met by Katie, who was in her bra and denim shorts hurtling towards him.

“What is it?” He frowned, instantly placing himself between her and the bathroom, looking at the door.

“In there.” She muttered, and as her hands gripped at his hips he could feel her shaking behind him.

“Someone’s in there?” He looked over his shoulder and down at her.

She shook her head, stuttering a little in fear.  “I… just… I can’t…”

Steve was really puzzled now. Not a lot phased Katie Stark. She had fought alongside him in the battle of New York, facing off against God Knows how many Aliens. The year before she had tackled the Mandarin with her brother, then there was Loki in the Desert, countless missions with SHIELD, so what on Earth had got her so petrified, in his bathroom no less,  that she was trembling behind him?

“Stay here.” He instructed, gently before he crept forward and stepped to the bathroom. The door was wide open and he could see or hear nothing. Frowning he looked behind the door, in the tall cupboard that housed his toiletries, towels, bedsheets etc… all clear. He was just about to ask her what the fuck was going on when a movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He glanced into the shower cubicle and there was the culprit.

“Jesus Christ sweetheart.” He groaned, with a somewhat exasperated sigh as he looked at the spider. “You nearly gave me a heart attack. I thought someone had broken in and was about to kill you.”

“Something did break in!” She squeaked back, still from her spot in the hall “It’s gonna eat me!” Steve rolled his eyes to himself. It was nothing more than a house spider. A fairly big one, he had to admit, but utterly harmless. Nevertheless, he knew Katie was petrified of the damned things. She had admitted to him post an incident with one on a Quinjet that she had woken up when she was three with one on her face and had been scared witless of them ever since.

“Katie, it’s not gonna hurt you.” he reasoned.

“I don’t care!” her voice was high pitched “Incy Wincy fucking Gorilla needs to leave” That did make him laugh. “Okay, Okay.” His chuckles died down. “I’ll sort it. Don’t panic.” Luckily for her, spiders fascinated Steve. He had always found their webs a thing of beauty, and in the army had often wandered the woods early in the morning to see them speckled with dew in the growing light of the sunrise or frost in the winter, sketching the particularly intricate ones he found. He bent down, scooped the arachnid in to his hands careful to keep it enclosed and headed back into the hall. “Where is..is it IN YOUR HANDS?” She shrieked, eyes wide as she backed away from him. “Why didn’t you kill it?” “I’m not gonna kill it!” he said, shaking his head “It isn’t his fault you’re scared of him.” “But…”

“Honey, it’s fine, I’m gonna let it go outside!” He tried hard not to laugh at the sheer look of disgust and horror on her face. “Just open the door for me ok?”

“Outside outside or like the hall way outside?” She said, looking at him. He paused for a moment, he had been thinking just the hall- it was a house spider after all. But he could hear her reaction already- I’ll just come back under the door…

“Outside outside.” he confirmed, and her shoulders visibly sagged as she exhaled and headed to the doorway. She opened it, then backed away from him to let him out. Giving her a smile he headed outside, spider safely contained in his cupped hands as he headed down the stairs to the main door of his apartment block. Using his foot to keep the door jarred open, he stooped down and gently let the spider go. It scurried off and he wiped his hands on his jeans before he took the three flights back up to his floor two steps at a time. Katie was in the kitchen, still in her bra and shorts, a glass of water in her hand. He leaned in the doorway looking at her for a moment, smile playing on his lips. Even when she was being absurd he loved her.

“You can stop looking at me like that.” she said to him. 

“Like what?”

“Like you think I’m utterly ridiculous.

”Steve cut her off with a chuckle “You are utterly ridiculous.” he said, striding towards her to give her a hug. She let out a noise that was half chuckle, half groan as she pressed her face into his t-shirt. “But I love you, arachnophobia induced drama included.

”She stayed still, her cheek pressed into his chest as his hands gently held her close, palms warm on her bare back.

“Gonna go for my shower now.” She mumbled.

“Ok” he pressed a kiss to her head “You coming back out or going straight to bed?”

“Bed.”

“Alright, I won’t be far behind you.”

She smiled up at him, before she headed out of the room and he watched her go, her hips swaying gently as she walked. 

The water was hot as Katie stepped underneath it. She hated being that petrified of something as stupid as a spider, she really did. Logically she knew it was daft, they were so small in comparison to her. Tony had constantly told her whenever he had to rescue her from the eight-legged-freaks, ‘they’re more scared of you than you are of them’, but that was utter bollocks. Frankly, she’d take fighting off ten men single handed against dealing with one of them. 

With a sigh she washed her hair, turned the water off and then set about cleaning her teeth before she headed out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Steve was already in there and as she walked into the room he gently tossed a clean t-shirt onto the bed for her and she grinned. She loved sleeping in his shirts, for no reason other than they were his. And he loved the fact she loved to sleep in them for the same reason. He dropped a kiss to her cheek and told her he was going for a shower himself before he headed into the bathroom himself. She dried off, braided her hair before shrugging the T-shirt and settling down between the sheets of his bed. Steve returned a little under ten minutes later, chest speckled with drops of water he hadn’t dried off completely.

“Honey do you want a drink or anything?”

“No I’m good, Stevie, thanks.” She mumbled, eyes closed as she snuggled further into the bed. He dressed in a pair of sweats, leaving his chest bare- another thing he’d started doing since they’d been sharing a bed as Katie much preferred snuggling into him like that- and he began the usual routine of checking the doors and windows before he returned and slipped under the covers next to her. She let out a sigh and moved so that her head was lay on his chest, her hand gently tangling into the smattering of dark blonde hair that was there. He could tell she was wide awake, pondering something. 

“What’s the matter?” he asked gently.

“Do you think I’m a dumbass, you know, because of the whole…spider thing? I know it’s ridiculous, but...”

Steve took a deep breath and moved so that he was led on his side, facing her. She pouted at being jostled off his chest and he smiled at the look of indignation on her face as he tucked a stray hand of hair behind her ear.

“Clowns.” he said gently. 

“What? What has that got-“

“I hate them.” He gave a little shrug. “They freak me out. Big time. Can’t stand to look at them let alone be in the same room as them.” “So that’s why you don’t wanna watch IT.” She smiled softly “You’re scared of Clowns?” He nodded “Once when we were kids, there was a Carnival down at Coney. Bucky and I went in this like maze thing. Contained a load of mirrors and stuff…but the last room you went in was basically nothing but clowns, and you had no idea which one was the mirror and which one was the real thing.” He gave a shudder at the memory and he felt his girl’s hands warm on his chest. “Well, when the damned thing moved I had a complete melt down, asthma attack, you name it…”

“Why have you never told me this before?”

“Doesn’t do my Captain Badass image any good, does it?”

“And my spider phobia doesn’t do mine any good.” She chuckled a little. “Especially seeing as one of my best friend’s goes by the code name Black Widow.” He gave a little chuckle and wrapped his arms around her, as she turned over to get comfortable. He pulled her to him, her back pressing to his chest, and closed his eyes as he wrapped himself around her. She sighed, happy to bask in his warmth.

“Thank you for rescuing me” She mumbled and he gave a laugh that vibrated through his chest into her.

“Isn’t that what a man is supposed to do? Be his Dame’s Knight in shining armour?”

“Yeah but most Knights slay fire breathing dragons…” she said, before pausing slightly. “Oh God can u imagine? A fire breathing spider?”  she shivered.

 “Ok. Honey, now you’re being ridiculous again.” he said, eyes still closed. 

“Hey, for all we know it could exist, like in the deepest, depths of Peru somewhere, just hasn’t been discovered…”

“Well, lucky for us we aint in Peru.” he said with a sigh, as he dropped a soft kiss to the back of her neck. “Now go to sleep.” 

**** Chapter 8

[gloryofluv]

Order Up! Chapter 20

The big 2 0. Wow, when I started this thing I had no idea this was going to be so fun to write. Over 50k words and Alex is now one of my favorite people!

This chapter just had me gooey for Solomon, seriously!

Previous Chapter

Cameron was on break, and there was a lull in customers. Lucifer had come and gone earlier, but he was slightly more attentive this morning. He asked if she had breakfast and if she was drinking water. Jordan noticed.

“So, the elephant in the room. What happened with you and Mr. Black Coffee?” He asked while looking over his clipboard.

Alex twitched her nose and walked up to him. “Jordan,” she said in a timid voice.

“Yes?” He arched his eyebrow revealing the glitter eyeshadow in detail.

“Do you think I’m naturally submissive?” she whispered.

Jordan dropped his clipboard and blinked. “What?”

“I’m asking you,” she puffed and shifted. “Do you think I’m naturally submissive?”

He retrieved the board and examined her. “Well, I mean,” he paused, and his eyes grew. “Babe, I didn’t see it!”

She bloomed with color and straightened her apron. “We talked last night. He wanted me to talk to you about this later.”

Jordan leaned on the sink and waved his hand with his pen. “Alex, I swear, I mean, I just never realized.”

Alex licked her lips. “Do you think my dad and I had a normal relationship?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Jesus, Alex, you’re going through a lot of shit right now. Between the new career, a new home, and this? No, your dad was a control freak. I mean your mother and you always had to dress presentable and be polite. Seriously, I loved him, but he was an asshole.”

She rubbed her neck and nodded. “I think so too. I was doing some reading on my break today. I want to learn more.”

Jordan ducked closer to her and scowled. “Did he do something to you? Did he do something you weren’t ready for? I will go get my fabric scissors and cut open his balls,” he hissed and snapped.

Alex shook her head frantically. “No, that's the thing. He told me to come to talk to you. He said there are rules on the house and that it would be convoluted if he answered my questions.”

Jordan relaxed and adjusted his hat. “Okay, that makes me feel loads better. Yes, we’ll have a long chat about this. You can ask anything you want. I promise not to be gentle about it either if I think you need to know.”

“Alex, you need a firm hand?” Someone chuckled.

Alex pivoted and smirked. “Well, hello, mad scientist,” she smiled and wandered over to the POS screen.

Solomon smiled and swished his hand, pulling a playing card out of thin air. The queen of hearts. “She is beauty, magnetism, and idealism,” he voiced and handed it to her.

“Your little trinkets are building up on my dresser, Sol,” she laughed and placed the card in her apron.

“So, what are we talking about on today’s TED talk?” Solomon questioned.

Jordan leaned over the glass and waved his hand. “D and s relationships,” he murmured.

Solomon tilted his head and touched his chin. “Interesting topic for the early afternoon, but I'm intrigued. I have extensive knowledge on the subject.”

Alex blinked as her eyebrows reached for her hat. “You do?”

“I do,” he agreed. “Too much knowledge is never enough.”

She beamed and tilted her head. “I wonder when your cup will ever runneth over.”

“Never,” Solomon chuckled. “I plan to find a way to live forever and keep learning.”

“If anyone could, it’d be you,” Alex replied.

“I would like to join this discussion,” Solomon said and then glanced around. “Just not where it could be incriminating.”

Alex giggled and rocked her head. “Okay, I could see this being a decent group discussion.”

“You could?” Jordan scowled. “Honey, there’s alotta weird stuff you’re going to be learning about.”

“He’s a genius, J,” Alex gestured to the man in a grey turtleneck.

“Doesn’t mean he’s,” Jordan sighed and waved his hand. “You know what, fine. I think if we’re going to do this, we’re going to invite Asmo too.”

“Oh, he’s a great person to add to this,” Solomon agreed.

Jordan glared. “Don’t even mention another word about you two together, okay, toots?”

“Toots?” Solomon smiled. “Can you please put that on my cup?”

Alex was trying so hard to stifle her giggling. “Solomon, how do you get everyone but me to hate you?”

“I don’t like them as much,” Solomon said.

Jordan exhaled and tilted his head. “When are you going to ask her out? You’ve been coming here handing her trinkets for months.”

Alex glared at Jordan. “Stop that.”

“How about this,” Solomon hummed, drawing her attention back to him. “We’ll go out on a date when she’s ready? I don’t believe in the social parameters of making a woman feel pressured to say yes.”

“You mean you’re too afraid she’ll say no,” Jordan smirked.

“I wouldn’t say no,” Alex shook her head.

Solomon beamed and touched his chest. “Then, when your interesting life gets into the new rhythm of your promotion, we’ll have our date.”

Alex was glowing. “Solomon, you really do pay attention to my texts.”

“I do,” he nodded. “I told you, I may not always answer immediately, but I do read them.”

“I can see why you’ve had so many hearts fall in love with you,” She teased and waved her fingers.

Solomon’s cheeks darkened, and he cleared his throat. “Alex, you flatter me.”

“Okay, okay, enough with this weird lovefest. What are you drinking today?” Jordan asked.

Solomon scowled up at the menu and twitched his nose. Oh, a new one? “I don’t know that one, Solomon,” Alex admitted.

He chuckled and breathed. “I think my mind has gone away with me again. How about you order me what you usually drink?”

Jordan rolled his eyes. “Sounds good, toots.”

“Half Green tea, half passion tea, no water, 3 pumps raspberry, 2 pumps cane,” Alex declared.

Solomon grinned and nodded. “That is now added to my list, Alex,” he said and handed her his credit card.

“So, does afternoon work tomorrow? You can come over when Jordan and Asmo are available,” Alex voiced as she finished the transaction.

Solomon pulled out his phone and checked the screen. “Ah, yes, tomorrow shall be fine. I don’t have anything until that evening with a few colleagues.”

“Perfect,” Alex smiled as she handed him the receipt and card.

“I’m quite proud of you, Alex. You spent a long time not acknowledging things about yourself and are tackling them at an inhuman rate. It shows fortitude and tenacity,” Solomon declared as he pocketed his card.

Alex blushed and shifted against the screen. “Well, life is about holding on tightly and taking all the dips on the rollercoaster.”

Solomon grimaced. “Roller Coasters. Very unamusing things.”

“You don’t like them?”

“Not in the least,” Solomon sneered.

“I would have thought you’re a thrill-seeker,” Alex hummed.

Jordan handed him the tea and collected his clipboard again.

“Well,” Solomon shifted with the cup in hand. “It depends on the thrill,” he smiled before sipping his straw.

“How is it?” She asked.

Solomon placed a tip in the jar. “Well, it reminds me of you. So, refreshing, sweet, and I’ll be returning for it again.”

Fucking smooth. Occasionally, this man pulls off the greatest lines, completely straight-faced. “I’ll see you soon, Sol,” Alex laughed.

He waved and walked off toward the door. Alex smiled and shook her head before turning to Jordan. “I honestly don’t know what you see in that hydrogen peroxide pimple popper,” he hummed.

“Come on,” Alex groaned. “It was years ago. Are you really going to be jealous of it? Is it because Asmo hasn’t agreed to be exclusive?”

Jordan scowled and shook his head. “No, and I understand I’m being a baby.”

“You are, but I do like him,” Alex sighed. “Please like him for me? Please?”

“Oh, alright,” Jordan groaned.

Cameron skipped back out and beamed. “So, what did I miss?”

Alex shrugged and went to restocking the gift cards. “Just one of my regulars.”

“Oh, he’s going to love him,” Jordan chuckled.

“Who was it?” Cameron questioned as he went to the screen, and Alex moved to the bar.

“Well, it was Solomon,” Alex declared.

“Ah, Mr. Can’t-make-up-his-mind,” Cameron nodded. “He came in yesterday.”

Jordan snorted and marked his inventory from the stock above. “She knows his hand gestures by mood.”

“That’s impressive,” Cameron smiled.

Alex beamed and checked the syrups. “It took many visits. J, I need some more caramel.”

Jordan reached above and handed her the bottle. “We shall mourn many days when she becomes my boss,” he snickered.

“Oh, stop, you’re amazing. Besides, I’ll likely be here all the time working,” she said.

“No favoritism, Alex.”

Alex glanced up from writing on the bottle and beamed. “Well, hello, Barbatos,” she laughed.

Barbatos was standing next to the hand-off station. He was smiling and tilted his head. “Good afternoon. Diavolo is finishing a conversation on the phone, and he’ll be in momentarily.”

“Would you like your tea?”

Barbatos nodded.

Alex glanced over to see that Cameron was working on it and returned her attention to him. “So, how are you today? Anything notable?”

“I found a new recipe I plan on cooking tonight. I’m positive Lucifer will enjoy the fusion,” Barbatos nodded.

“I haven’t tried your cooking yet, but I truly am looking forward to it,” Alex voiced as she wiped down the counter.

Barbatos beamed and rocked his head. “It will be quite enjoyable to cook for more than Lucifer and Diavolo’s tastes.”

“So, do you enjoy doing anything other than working like a madman and cooking?” Alex questioned.

“Gardening. I have a greenhouse with my own vegetables. I also enjoy poetry on occasion,” Barbatos explained as Cameron set down his cup.

“I couldn’t grow mushrooms in cow poop,” Alex snorted.

“Patience and dedication, Alex. Two traits I hold dear,” Barbatos explained.

“And that you have in abundance,” she giggled.

Barbatos tilted his head and glanced at the door before returning to her view. “Did you receive my questionnaire this morning?”

She nodded. “I was going to fill it out tonight after dinner.”

“Excellent, that will be a basis for you to start with the roots next week,” Barbatos explained.

She bent closer and narrowed her eyes. “Are you superhuman?” she whispered.

He actually laughed and shook his head. “No, Alex, though I appreciate the compliment.”

“Barbatos, I haven’t heard you laugh in years.” Diavolo skipped over and beamed.

“She has a wonderful personality,” Barbatos declared.

Alex straightened her form as Diavolo was glancing down at her. “Good afternoon, Diavolo.”

“And a great one it is, Alex! You already have a Superfan,” Diavolo nodded.

“Superfan?”

“Oh, yes, Michael and I were talking about the charity dinner, and he said how much you had such good energy when he was in here the other night! Simeon had nothing but pleasant things to say about you as well,” Diavolo explained.

Oh… shit. “That’s pretty wonderful,” she smiled.

Diavolo rocked his head. “Yes, I’m pleased. We’re going to have a wonderful weekend.”

Cameron was waiting patiently, and Diavolo finally approached. “Good afternoon, Diavolo,” he smiled.

“How are you doing, Cameron?” Diavolo asked.

“Excellent. It was very eye-opening to see her work at the register. I really had the chance to see how much of a stellar portion of your brand, Alex is!” Cameron beamed.

Alex shook her head with a smile and organized the milk below. It was the first time in a while she just had the chance to listen.

“I don’t want you to feel too much pressure. Just find what makes it work for you and bring it every day,” Diavolo chuckled.

“I will definitely try. All the customers are so animated and wonderful. Not to take away my experiences from the other store, of course,” Cameron declared.

Psst. Alex glanced up at the sound. Leviathan? She walked over to the hand-off, and he grimaced. “Alex, do I really have to order from him?”

It was cute that as long as she had the counter between them, he could actually look at her. If only she could find a way to get him from running from her at home now… Alex exhaled and nodded. “Levi, I’m going to be going on a top-secret mission for Diavolo soon. I’ll be out of commission as a barista. You have a new operative memo,” she whispered.

Levi gasped and leaned closer. “W-what is it?”

“For operation Sea Serpent you need to help me find the best barista. Your mission, if you choose to accept and are successful, will grant you two full levels in speechcraft,” she breathed with a gasp.

He fist-pumped the air and grinned. “Accept, I do.”

Alex grinned and leaned closer. “I have a side mission for you.”

“I like side missions,” Levi hummed and looked amused.

“I need your help setting up my computer because Asmo did it wrong. If you help me with that, you get half a full level of intimacy,” Alex whispered.

He rocked his head several times. “Okay, yes.”

“You’re my savior,” she smiled.

Levi blushed, but he beamed. “Alex, you want to come to watch ‘So, you want to be a demon?’ with me tonight?”

She tapped her chin. “I will after my dinner with my boss, okay?”

He rocked his head. “Affirmative.”

“Objective stored,” she replied with a thumbs up.

Levi waved and walked over behind Diavolo, who was paying. “Hello, Leviathan,” Diavolo said in a lower tone.

Oh, this was new?

Levi waved and shuffled. “Diavolo.”

“Did you receive my new coding commissions?” Diavolo asked.

“Yes, I did. I re-coded all of the characters for it,” Levi nodded.

“Excellent! Well, I’m really excited. I can now walk around with a suit of armor and a pig for a sword,” Diavolo laughed.

Levi smiled and looked away from him. “That was pretty good.”

Diavolo beamed and held out his hand. Levi carefully high-fived him before moving aside. How fucking adorable is that? Levi was nearly glowing with the conversation’s end. Alex was making Diavolo’s drink and smiling to herself.

There was no way on earth that man had time to play whatever game he wanted Levi to code skins for. Damn, what a fucking decent guy. Then again, he did live with them for many years too. It was interesting that none of the boys really talked about it. Maybe their wounds were just so deep?

“You seem quite amused,” Diavolo murmured as he leaned over the hand-off counter.

“I am,” she smirked. “I didn’t know you played video games.”

“All the time,” he smiled with a hint of humor.

“You know something,” Alex hummed as his shots finished.

“What?” he asked.

She placed his drink down in front of him. “I’m really looking forward to spending the afternoon shopping for this event.”

He was giving her the best toothy smile she’d seen him give to date. “Me too,” he paused and checked his watch. “In about twenty minutes, my day gets extraordinarily better.”

She laughed and nodded. “Mine too.”

He stood up and winked before walking toward the register. He waved to Cameron, put a tip in the jar, and left the cafe. Levi was bouncing by the hand-off counter, and Alex got started on his drink.

“You know, I find it so amusing that you just can read people so well,” Cameron mused.

Alex hummed and glanced over. “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what to say to make everyone smile. That’s not an exaggeration either,” Cameron nodded.

“It’s just about finding empathy, right, Levi?” Alex asked as she filled his cup with syrup pumps.

Levi rocked his head and bounced on his heels. “Right, Alex.”

“How do you do that so well, though?” Cameron questioned.

Alex was mixing the shots in with the syrup and hummed. “I guess I just ask them what they like and relate. Find something I can reach across the counter to them with. Give them a bit of me that they want,” she declared and shrugged. “Levi, you’re doing Almond milk today?” she frowned at him.

“Yeah. We’re having pizza tonight,” Levi puffed.

She rocked her head. “No need to explain. Affirmative Admiral.”

He beamed and held up his thumb and index finger in a heart as she handed him the iced latte. “Bye Alex, see you at home,” he rushed out and paced toward the door.

Cameron smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. “Unbelievable.”

Alex shrugged. “They’re my favorite people in the world. All the misfits like me.”

“Well, you’re their queen,” he laughed.

Jordan came back around the corner and puffed. “Okay, honey. I’ll relieve you now so you can do last-minute checks before you’re off.”

“Thanks, J,” she nodded and moved toward the end of the counter.

She took off her apron, washed her hands, and got to work. Her afternoon and evening were booked, but at least it was going to be wonderful several hours ahead. Oh, she should get some caffeine.

@rsmrymnt-tea @otome-scribbles