#Having a home and place to belong is one of the biggest things she needs and wants?

[acosmicbee]

Teddy Bear

(First time posting on Tumblr! This is a repost from my Wattpad, so hopefully, you enjoy it!

TW: Typical Yandere stuff, neglect from reader's bio parents, reader gets drugged with some sleep medicine, reader is a child)

You weren't the biggest fan of airports. They weren't the most child friendly, even to one so independent such as yourself. You, at the young age of 7, were already tasked with keeping track of your passport, boarding pass and any belongings. 

While you felt proud that you hadn't lost anything important (to date) you were also rather sad. It wasn't fair that you were tasked with all of that while your little sister got all the help and attention from your parents. Not to mention that when you were her age they'd already started getting stricter about rules and chores. 

The only good thing about airports, and traveling in general, was that you only ever traveled to see your grandma. You adored your grandma, and she adored you. While your parents would take your sister out to town to get souvenirs or see attractions, your grandma doted on you.

You didn't have to do chores at grandma's house. Instead she would let you sit at the kitchen counter and talk about anything you wanted. It was like she was trying to make up all of the attention your parents failed to give you. 

It was from your grandma that you received your most beloved possession, a handmade teddy bear. She'd made it for you, from scratch. Even though he wasn't as perfect as the toys your sister got from the stores, you loved that bear. The imperfection added to the love and safety it radiated.

That was the reason you had hid the bear in your carry-on luggage, despite promising your parents to leave it at home. You didn't feel as safe without it, and you hated flying. Not to mention, your grandma had promised to knit the bear a sweater the next time you visited. Therefore, you totally needed it, even if your parents said no. 

"Y/N. We're about to board. You'll be by yourself. Act appropriately." Your mother hissed. Your father never even spared you a glance, busy helping your sister with her bags. You patiently waited for your boarding group to be called.

You handed the gate agent your boarding pass, smiling up at him when he called you a big kid. From there it was a slow crawl getting to your seat. Thankfully, a helpful woman from the aisle behind your seat was nice enough to help you put your bag in the overhead rack.

You were seated next to a young couple, the woman trying to soothe her partner's fears. You tried to be good and ignore them, pulling your teddy out from your carry on, but you couldn't help it.

"I've flown so many times Stef. Look at me. I'm still here, yeah? Nothing is going to happen." The woman tried to joke. It was clear that 'Stef' wasn't soothed in the slightest as he nervously glanced around. You felt bad for him.

You remembered your first time you flew without your parents near you. It had felt really scary. You still hated flying, but you had gotten a little used to it. You debated with yourself for a minute before eventually turning to the couple.

"Excuse me?" They turned to look at you, the woman smiling.

"Yes, sweetheart?" Stef asked. He mustered up a nervous smile for you and you gingerly held out your teddy bear.

"You can hold onto Teddy if you're scared... he helps me when I feel like that." You offered. Stef gently took your bear, which made you feel a lot better about letting him borrow it. He was being so gentle with it, carefully inspecting it.

"Thank you so much. It's clearly a very special bear." He said, placing it on his lap. "I'm Stefan, and this is my fiancee." 

"I'm Emma. It's a pleasure to meet you sweetheart."

"I'm Y/N." You introduced yourself. The safety video started to play on all the screens and you took that as an opportunity to double check your carry on bag was out of the way under your seat and that your seat belt was pulled tight.

Soon enough, the plane slowly rolled away from the gate, slowly moving towards the runway. Despite having watched you check your seatbelt, Stefan leaned over to double check it for you before checking his own.  

Emma smiled lovingly at the both of you, gently taking Stefan's hand as she looked out the window. Stefan tucked your teddy into the crook of his arm before offering you his open hand. You took it, trying to push back a sudden rush of sadness. No one had ever held your hand during takeoff before.

As the safety video finished, there was another minute of tension as the plane finally pulled onto the runway. The plane accelerated, faster and faster, as it lifted into the air. You shut your eyes at the feeling, trying to breathe and not panic.

The plane soared over the airport and the city below. Stefan, who was holding onto you tighter than you were him, finally cracked open his eyes. Emma smiled at him, ruffling his curls before returning to looking out the window. 

"Thank you Y/N. Your teddy helped me a lot." Stefan said, finally releasing the bear. You hugged it as you lay back in your seat. Your happy mood was squashed by the memories of being alone. After all, it wasn't like after this flight you'd ever see Emma or Stefan again.

"I don't believe I ever asked you where your parents are, sweetheart. Are you all alone?" Emma asked. You shook your head, frowning deeper.

"Not alone. They're sitting somewhere else. With Poppy." You muttered.

"Poppy?"

"My little sister." You hugged your bear tighter, trying to distract yourself. You missed the look Emma and Stefan shared with each other. Stefan took a deep breath before reaching under his seat for his carry-on bag. 

From the bag he withdrew some snacks and some candy. He offered you some, giving you a gentle smile.

"You shared your bear, so it's only right that I share my snacks. Here." You gingerly took some of the candy, turning away so he couldn't try and take it back from you. It was something you had to do often around Poppy and your parents. If you had something and Poppy wanted it you were forced to give it to her.

Instead of questioning you further, Emma navigated the small TV in front of her. She decided on a show that drew your attention when you had finally turned back around. When she noticed you watching, she smiled, waving you closer.

Eventually, after a lot of coaxing and reassurance, you ended up in her lap. She wrapped her arms tightly around you, and your teddy bear, as you both watched. 

Eventually, Emma soothed you enough for you to doze off, falling into a gentle sleep. When that happened, Stefan reached into his carry-on for the small blanket Emma recommended he pack for the plane.

They carefully tucked it around you, making sure you were nice and warm. You looked adorable with your teddy wrapped up like a burrito. But now that you were asleep, they began to talk.

"They're adorable." Stefan whispered, brushing some stray hair out of your face.

"Mhm. The most perfect child..." Emma trailed off, holding you a bit tighter.

"It's sad. They deserve better..." Stefan said. He was replaying what you'd said about your family in his mind.

"They'll get it." Emma said with a smile, gazing down at your peacefully sleeping face. 

"How can you be so sure?" Stefan asked, adjusting the blanket.

"Because we'll give them better." Emma stated. Stefan had to do a double take.

"What?" He asked. "We can't take them! That's kidnapping!" He hissed quietly, glancing around to make sure no one else had heard that.

"Stef, you do remember who we're going to meet, right? My family. Trust me, we have many connections. We hold a lot of power. If I wanted to hypothetically adopt a child I saved from neglectful parents, I can in a snap of my fingers." Stefan nervously glanced between you and his fiancee.

He thought long and hard for a long time before sighing. He wanted to fight back and say it wasn't right, but more than that, he wanted to help you. At least with himself and Emma, you'd be in a nice and loving household. You'd never want for anything, and you'd have doting parents.

Maybe taking you would be for the best...

—⁺˖°ʚ🧸ɞ°⁺˖—

You woke up from your nap with a sleepy yawn. You still had a couple of hours before the plane would land. It was dark outside, and most of the lights in the plane had been turned off. Stefan was watching some show on the TV in front of his seat while Emma was scrolling on her phone.

It was quiet, minus the hum of the engines. It seemed almost everyone was sleeping or minding their own business. You yawned, snuggling further into the warm blanket. Emma noticed you were awake and smiled down at you, setting her phone aside.

"You must be hungry. Here, I couldn't finish the food I ordered." She whispered. She handed you the half eaten airplane food that had been abandoned on her tray along with a half finished can of Sprite.

While the food was lack luster the soda was entirely new. You'd never been allowed to have soda before. When you told Emma as such after your first sip she gave you a sad smile. You happily finished the soda before being tucked back in.

You let out a yawn, cuddling back into Emma's arms. It was so warm and you were still so sleepy. Besides, you had hours until the plane landed, it would be fine to sleep for a little longer.

You drifted off to sleep once again, content and warm. Emma took a quick selfie of the two of you together before peeking over at Stefan. He was also dozing off, something that made her smile. She had such an amazing family...

She was also very happy Stefan had decided to bring along his heavy-duty melatonin for the trip.

—⁺˖°ʚ🧸ɞ°⁺˖—

"We hope you enjoyed your flight!" Finally the plane had landed, just after 4 in the morning. Emma yawned as she stood up, cradling you in her arms. You were due to be out for a while longer. She passed you onto Stefan once he had a good position with his own bags.

She took your carry on from under your seat as well as your suitcase from the luggage rack. She only had her carry on, as both hers and Stefan's suitcases were checked. They both exited the plane, easily walking right past your old family. After all, your parents were looking for a child by themselves, not one being carried by their parents.

Emma led Stefan over to where a few people in suits waited by the gate.

"Stefan, these are some people my parents sent to escort us. They'll be expiditing our way out of here." She explained. As they were led away, two of the individuals stayed behind. They were the ones tasked with staying behind to deal with your old parents, either with bribes or with force.

It was after a fast tracked security process that the three of you were escorted to a fancy car with a waiting chauffeur. Emma took you back from Stefan as the car took off, weaving out of the airport pick-up area.

By the time the car arrived outside a large home, the sun was beginning to rise. An attendant opened the door for them, leading them to a medium sized bedroom upstairs. There was a small air mattress set up on the floor, but it was covered in expensive and soft blankets. 

"Your parents apologize for not being here to greet you and your fiancee... and child. They also send their condolences for being unable to procure a bed of adequate size for the child." The maid explained. "Their flight arrives around lunch time. Your siblings will also be flying in later today."

"It's alright Tracey. Tell mom and dad we're fine, okay?" Emma smiled. "I think we'll probably be sleeping for a while, so please keep it quiet."

"Of course, Miss Emma. Welcome home."

—⁺˖°ʚ🧸ɞ°⁺˖—

You woke up warm once again. At first, you thought you were still on the plane, cuddled close in Emma's arms. After all, you were still surrounded by soft blankets, and your teddy bear was held tight in your arms. 

But the only sound you could hear was the faint chirping of birds, not the hum of an airplane. Something was wrong here. You slowly uncurled from the blankets, trying to untangle yourself enough to sit up.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes as you looked around an expensive, unfamiliar bedroom. Where were you?

The room was spacious. The mattress you were on was tucked away in a corner, next to a larger bed. You were covered in the softest blankets you'd ever felt and your teddy was there too. A few stray rays of light streamed in through a crack in the curtains.

You stood up as quietly as possible, shaking off the remaining sleepiness. The mattress wobbled a little under your weight and you had to lean on the wall to steady yourself. Your mind felt a little foggy as you stumbled off the air mattress, taking your teddy with you.

You, somehow, managed to stumble out into the hallway without waking up Emma or Stefan, who were asleep in the bed. It was sunny, but the kind that happens in the late afternoon. The hallway was grand, lined with artwork and smaller pedestals of art.

Your sleep addled brain hadn't quite placed where you were yet or what happened, mostly due to the melatonin you had been drugged with. Your brain was working slow, and some signals were being processed too late. It was why you found yourself being picked up before you registered you weren't alone.

"Aren't you just the most adorable little one?" A man's voice said. The first thing your brain was able to process was that he looked similar to Emma. He had the same eyes but his hair was blond while hers was black. He gently carried you further down the hallway, smiling down at you.

"When Emma texted telling me she was adopting a kid, I didn't think you'd be this adorable. Then again, Emma has always had an amazing eye for sweet things." The man seemed content just talking to you, even if you weren't responding.

"Ah! But where are my manners? While I know you, you don't know me. I'm Alexi, Emma's father. You can just call me grandpa." He said with a smile. He stopped walking in front of an open door. The room inside was a fancy living room with a grand fireplace. He sat down on the couch, letting you rest on his lap. 

The drugs must not have worn off enough because soon enough you fell asleep again, holding your teddy close.

—⁺˖°ʚ🧸ɞ°⁺˖—

It was half an hour later when Emma burst into the living room, looking around frantically. Her hair was messy and her clothing was disheveled. When her eyes landed on you, peacefully dozing in her father's lap, her entire body relaxed.

"Good afternoon father." She said, her breathing starting to even out from it's anxiety induced pace. 

"I found this little one wandering the halls looking half asleep. The poor dear was out like a light within five minutes." Alexi said with a smirk. He didn't protest when Emma plucked you off his lap, holding you close. "Your siblings should be home a little before dinner, so try and have the little one up for that."

"I'm sure they'll be awake by then." Emma said, gently bouncing you in her arms. You let out a sleepy groan at the movement, waking up a little. You glanced around the room with squinted eyes before resting your head back against her shoulder.

"Your mother has stepped out, and she's probably buying some toys and outfits for them." He warned. 

"They'll be one of the most loved and spoiled kids on the planet, that's for sure." Emma said, adjusting your head with a smile. "But they'll deserve it after what they went through to get here."

—⁺˖°ʚ🧸ɞ°⁺˖—

That evening you met your new family for the first time. That evening marked the start of a new chapter of your life, one you tried to resist at first but felt too good to fight against. Everyone loves to be loved, right?

Who knew it would all start with a very very loved teddy bear?

[shouyuus]

could i request car mechanic!vi and fem!reader hcs and little moments of their daily life now that they’re officially dating? 🤭🤭 you write vi so wellll nghghhh 😫

sfw fluffy hcs for car mechanic!vi au bulletpoints bc im in that mood today

breakfast is always a long, drawn out thing -- almost ritualistic, bc "breakfast is the most important meal of the day, sweets! c'mon, you oughtta know that." and you take turns making it, either for each other or for whoever else is in the house that day (sometimes vander, sometimes silco will drop by for coffee, sometimes powder and ekko will stay the night, in which case ekko almost always makes breakfast, bc powder's very particular about her pancakes)

you can't rmbr the last time you sat in a chair proper bc vi's always pulling you into her lap (except at the dinner table, where she tries to show a TAD more decorum, esp if you're having dinner at your place instead of hers, but even then, she'd pull her chair close to yours, just so she can press her leg against yours or reach out to put a palm on your thigh)

on the days that you're not together, you definitely text vi a bit more -- she's got her hands full of repairs, and your biggest worry on the daily is what you wanna make for dinner that day, and if you need to drop by the grocery store before you head over to vi's

the first time you try to teach vi how to use chopsticks, you end up just plopped in her lap, feeding her off your plate bc she claims that "it's easier this way" and that she can "watch your technique better from up close" although it's so stupidly obvious that she's not looking at your hands bc she can't keep her eyes off your lips and how you can't stop giggling when you twist around to feed her

on the lazy summer nights when all the work has been done and all the stuff that can still be done can wait till tomorrow, vi takes you up the hill behind the city, to her favorite little outlook, tucked into the side of a backroad that no one except the true locals know about -- from there, you can see the entire city spread out beneath you, sprawling net, cast in light and shattered stars. "i used to hate this place... just a little, cause i thought i'd never get out of it," she tells you. "and now?" you ask. "now... i kinda love it... it's my home and... well, it gave me you, didn't it?"

vi thanks the heavens that you only live a few streets over, and that it takes her about 5 minutes on her bike to get between your houses (even though, yeah, you do technically live on the rich side of town, just across the train tracks), bc sometimes, 5 minutes is just about as long as she can wait before she starts to feel fidgety about the thought of seeing you again

the nights she spends at yours are always fun -- your bed's more than big enough for the pair of you to sprawl out on; you'd flick through channels on tv till something catches your eye, or carry as many snacks as either of you can up and post up for a movie marathon. it'd always end up with one of you lying against the other, your body curled between her legs or the other way around

sometimes she falls asleep against you, and you'd let the entire movie play before trying to slip out from behind her to turn off the lights. she always wakes up when you move, and she always grumbles and tries to pull you back; you always laugh and promise her that you'll be right back, to which she'd always pout but it morphs into a smile as she watches you patter around the room in a big t-shirt, turning off the lights and clearing the snacks off the bed before climbing back into her arms

she always keeps her hand tucked around your hip whenever the two of you go out anywhere, or she's got her hand pushed into the back pocket of your jeans or shorts or whatever the hell else; she claims its just bc she wants you close; you both know that it's also bc she wants zero questions as to who you belong to when you're walking down the street

when her hair gets long in the back, she lets you braid it and in it up with cute lil clips bc she likes the way it makes you smile

she almost loses it a little when she wakes up one day at yours and finds that you've put out an extra cup for her, and bought her a new toothbrush to use; it's then that she realizes she's already left like a quarter of her wardrobe here and that your parents no longer even look up when she comes downstairs in the morning, bedhead and all, to greet them, and that they've somehow always already made coffee for her, just the way she likes

"hey prett girl, can i ask you something?" "yeah, sure." "what... do you think about moving in together?" "hm? oh --" "not like right this moment or anything but --" "i'd love to. i mean, it does get a little complicated splitting time between my place and yours." "oh... that was -- i thought you'd be a bit more..." vi swallows, trailing off. you cock your head and fix her with a look, "a bit more what? hesitant? i mean... we're basically together all the time now anyway. it'd just make things easier, right? and --" a blush flushes into your cheeks as you look away, clearing your throat, "it'd -- it'd be nice not to have to be so q-quiet, sometimes."

vi nearly blacks out at your words; and yeah, so what if she starts looking at places that exact afternoon?

[mylovesstuffs]

Wonwoo is THAT type of boyfriend !

This is my personal opinion and perspective. It may not accurately reflect their real-life personalities or behaviors.

He’s not super flashy with his love, but when he pulls you close, rests his chin on your shoulder, and whispers, “I like this,” you just know he means it. And honestly? HE'S SO CUTE OMG I CAN'T.

Wonwoo doesn’t need grand gestures—just sitting in comfortable silence while reading or gaming together is his idea of a perfect date. But catch him sneaking glances at you like you’re the plot twist he never saw coming.

He’ll randomly write you letters that are so poetic you’d swear they belong in a novel. He won’t say much when he hands them to you, just a quiet, Read it when you’re free. But inside, he’s screaming, waiting for your reaction.

Wonwoo loves to tease you in his deadpan tone. “You really thought that was a good idea?�� he’ll say with a straight face, only to crack a soft smile when you pout —why is he like this? TT

He notices everything. If you casually mention wanting to try a new dessert, you’ll find it waiting for you the next day. He’ll also quietly adjust your scarf or zip up your coat if it’s cold out, like it’s second nature.

Wonwoo’s sense of humor sneaks up on you. He’ll drop the driest, most random one-liners that leave you in stitches. And the way he smirks when he knows he’s made you laugh? That side of him oh god.

He doesn’t get jealous easily, but if someone gets too flirty with you, he’ll casually drape his arm around your shoulder and say, “She’s with me.” No drama, just facts.

The way he pushes his glasses up while focused on something? Unfair. The way he softly brushes your hair out of your face before leaning in for a kiss? HELLO, SIR?!

Wonwoo’s hugs feel like home. He holds you just tight enough to make you feel safe, and when you bury your face in his chest, he rests his cheek on your head. Yeah, okay, that makes so much sense of him.

He’ll say things like, “Did you know your smile releases dopamine? Guess you’re my drug.” in the most casual tone. And then he’ll act like he didn’t just ruin your life with his words.

He could spend hours just watching you do your thing—whether it’s cooking, painting, or rambling about your day. When you catch him staring, he’ll just shrug and say, “I like the view.”

Wonwoo doesn’t make a big show of it, but he’ll always walk on the side closest to traffic or hold your hand tighter in crowded places. He’s quiet about it, but his actions scream, I’ve got you.

Takes Forever to Open Up… but When He Does? He’ll share the deepest parts of himself. His fears, his dreams, his childhood memories—he’ll let you in completely. And you’ll realize just how big his heart is.

He’s that boyfriend who’ll challenge you to random Mario Kart battles just to see you get competitive. But then he’ll throw the game at the last second because your victory dance is the real prize.

He might not be big on PDA, but when it’s just the two of you? He’ll pull you into his lap, play with your hair, and kiss your forehead like it’s the most natural thing in the world. And it is—to him.

Wonwoo’s presence is like a deep breath after a long day. Whether you’re overthinking or feeling overwhelmed, he knows exactly how to calm you down with his steady, reassuring voice.

Wonwoo isn’t just your boyfriend; he’s your biggest fan, your safest place, and your quiet anchor in a chaotic world. He’s that boyfriend who proves love doesn’t have to be loud to be powerful.

[bet-on-me-13]

The Villains Daughter

So! Years ago, back when the Justice League was only just starting out, only a year or two after their initial team-up, they had one of their biggest battles to date. A group of Extra-Dimensional Beings had burst into their reality, hellbent on destroying a Government Facility and the nearby small town in Illinois.

They barely managed to beat the Invading Army back, although the Government Facility and a part of the nearby Town had been destroyed in the battle.

Later, they would learn about what had happened. Apparently the Government Base, called a GIW Facility, had managed to finally Crack the secret to Interdimensional Travel a few days earlier. Unfortunately, they had opened a Portal into a Dimension known as the Ghost Zone, ruled over by a Tyrant King who wanted to enslaved all world under him. Their Breaching of the GZ had alerted the Tyrant King to the existence of their Dimension, and he had launched an immediate Invasion to try and take it over.

And the evidence supported this.

Wonder Woman shared Legends of her People, telling that their Founding Ancestor had fled the rule of a Tyrant King when she passed into the Afterlife.

Zatara shared his Magic Tomes, showing them passages detailing the horrific Rule of the Tyrant King of the Infinite Realms.

They even asked Boston Brand, the Deadman and resident Ghost about it. He hadn't been the the Ghost Zone in Years, but even he told them that he had personally fled the Tyrant King.

And they also learned that when the Tyrant King set his eyes on something, he did not falter on his Warpath to acquire it. The Tyrant King, Pariah Dark, would be back for their World, again and again.

And they needed to be prepared. This Battle was what kickstarted their true Commitment to the idea of a Team. They knew they could not defeat Pariah Dark alone, so they needed to remain as a Team.

But there was another thing that came about from the Battle.

While the JLA had been helping clean up, Wonder Woman came across a strange sight. A Baby had been left in the rubble of the GIW Building.

She asked around, investigated, and did all she could to find the babies parents. At first she thought that one of the GIW Agents had brought their kid to work that day, but their records indicated that none of the Agents had children of that Age. And Neither did any of the other workers who worked on the base, like the Janitors or the Kitchen Staff. And of they did, all of their children were accounted for.

She eventually came to the conclusion that the Baby must belong to somebody in the nearby Town, but that lead led nowhere either.

She finally came to the conclusion that the Baby's parents must have died in the Invasion, a very unfortunate but very real possibility. She was going to place her into the System, but over the course of her investigation she had grown fond of the Child.

She decided to Adopt the baby herself. She didn't know the child's name, so she had to come up with a new one.

"How do you like the name, Stella?"

The baby gurgled in delight.

...

Over the next decade of their Teams Existence, the Justice League had to fend off the Legions of the Ghost King's Army many more times. It seemed that Pariah had grown wise to the fact that they were the ones defending the Human Realm, as almost all of the later attacks were directed on them personally.

It made sense, they were the First Line of Defense against his Armies, if he managed to defeat them, their World would soon fall.

But they dealt with the attacks as they came. They had made it their mission to defend their Home from the Forced of Pariah Darks Army, and they would not falter now, or ever.

In the case of Wonder Woman, he Daughter had grown to be a fine little lady. Stella had eventually developed Powers similar to her mother, in that she could fly and had super strength, and had begged to be trained as a Hero.

And who was Diana to deny her Daughter her greatest wish? Over the next 5 years, Diana trained Stella in the ways of the Amazon's. Then, when Stella was 15, she had her join the newly formed Young Justice.

She made a great group of friends on that Team, and even started going by Ellie as a Nickname. Her best friend was by far Conner, though she didn't know why she felt such a strong connection to him? It felt like she could relate to him, but her situation was completely different?

Ah well, her Mom wouldn't mind having another kid, would she? She always wanted a Brother!

...

Meanwhile in the Ghost Zone, the Ghost King was getting anxious. After 15 years, his Agents in the Human Realm had finally managed to set up the Ritual needed to Summon Him into the Human Realm.

Who knew that accepting the Ghost King's Throne would bar him from entering the Human Realm through normal Means? He couldn't even use the Portal, he needed to be summoned or he simply wouldn't be able to leave his new home dimension.

But now, it was almost time. Just another year or two, and he would finally be able to enter the Human Realm. He would finally be able to Find Her. His Daugther.

Danny would finally be able to reunite with his daughter, Ellie.

[whowrotethenote]

𝐑𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞

A/N // Short story set in the universe of Biggest Fan. This takes place five months after One of Your Girls.

I wrote the beginning and end at the same time and got a little lazy trying to connect the two. So, if it seems rushed towards the middle, that's why. The inspo for the short came from this anon. I didn't include the moments leading up to the actual appointment just because it will be mentioned and discussed in the next part, Desires. I hope you like it anon💗

Warnings // Angst // Adultery // Profanity // Themes surrounding pregnancy & abortion

Word count // 6k

Disclaimer // Biggest Fan Masterlist // Roman Reigns Masterlist // Join My Taglist // Main Masterlist // Navigation

Tuesday, January 2, 2024

“Never have I ever…kissed a girl,” I announce. 

Seven fingers up, standing strong in the lead, I read the room. Demi’s finger goes down, leaving her at four left. And then the unthinkable happens. Anthony puts a finger down taking a sip out of his Naughty Elf mug. 

“Excuse me?!” Demi shrieks with her head cocking back. 

He removes the mug from his mouth, revealing a smirk. “That’s right.”

“Now, you know we need a story time.”

“No story time.” He shrugs. “It used to happen all the time. How do y’all think I discovered I was gay? I had to experiment first.”

“Wait—so you’ve like dated girls?” I dip my head like it’s some grand secret.

“Yup. Kissed ‘em. Had sex with ‘em—” His uncovering of truths is cut short by us gasping in unison. He cracks up. “Don’t get me wrong—pussy is great. It’s just something about men I can’t shake. They’re terrible people but I can’t shake those bastards. What about you, missy?”

“Senior year in high school. Captain of the girl’s basketball team. Think Kehlani but a little thicker,” Demi explains. 

“Mmm.” Anthony and I both hum in agreement. 

“Understandable. And don’t forget that shot, miss thing,” he reminds her. 

She throws one back before shooting her four fingers back up. On the floor of our newly rented Manhattan condo, we were getting lit off left over Coquito I brought from home—the crumbs of Christmas dinner—with our second round of Never Have I Ever. 

The best ice breaker to ease Anthony into our world—who, if I’m being honest, needs no easing whatsoever. He fits right into us. The missing piece to our puzzle. So much so, I offered to let him move in when he shared that his lease was almost up. It was a no brainer. Within the last two months of his hire at the hospital, we became ridiculously close. Anthony is fun, wild, and he doesn’t give a fuck about what anybody thinks. Anyone who embodies those three characteristics is okay with me and mine. 

There’s too much extra space in here. Every which way I turn, there’s an extra room that needs to be furnished and filled with personality. Demi and I are barely home as is. So, we let him take the lead on decorating the rest of the condo. All I can say is, that boy has taste. He made this place look like it belongs in a Home & Gardens spread. 

In the living area that he garnished with cream and black accents—we all sit comfortably in front of the floor to ceiling window. The news talked of the snow sticking and to expect at least six inches by tomorrow morning. Flurries of white hauled down on the other side of the window, blanketing the city, prompting us to take full advantage of the fireplace for the first time.

“Okay, my turn! Never have I ever…” Demi’s eyes float up until the light bulb goes off. “Got my ass ate.” At the same time they put a finger down and reach for their drinks. Seven fingers still up, I wait for them to be done before Anthony’s eyes go wide.

“Wait—why are you still over there with seven fingers up?”

“Never happened,” I confess. 

“Never?” His head dips.

“Never,” I confirm. 

“Well, what about that Alpha from last summer?” Demi squints. “What was his name? Travis? Trey?”

“Terrell.”

“Yeah! Him. He gives me that.”

I shake my head. “Never did it to me. We didn’t do anything really.”

“And nothing from whoever you’re seeing now?”

I grin when all I really want to do is scream. “Who said I’m seeing somebody now?”

“Oh, come on.” He searches for Demi who gives him nothing. Picking up one of those cheap Christmas themed sugar cookies we baked earlier and plopping it into her mouth. “I see you getting texts and disappearing,” he continues. “Gifts and whatnot. You were gone a whole weekend a few weeks back.” His squints with the lower half of his face twisting in amusement. The wider his smirk, the deeper that pit in my stomach. 

“It’s nobody, really.” I laugh, countering the heat capturing my face. Did I forget to mention that he’s very observant?

He shows his hands. “Fine. I’ll get out your business. Whoever he is, that boy’s got taste. That Chanel bag for Christmas?” He puckers his lips while shaking his head side to side. 

“Ouu! We should make gingerbread houses. Let’s see what we got.” Demi shoots up from the floor. Our eyes snagging before she fully rises as I try to convey a thank you through my eyes. An angel, she is. 

“Only thing in that fridge is eggnog and to-go plates. Good luck.” Anthony shouts while going through his phone. 

Anthony is sharp and we’ve only just met some months ago. I don’t like this. Keeping secrets and hiding an entire portion of my life from the people that mean something to me. Not saying anything is too close to lying outright and that’s not who I am. That’s not who I want to see when I look in the mirror. Too many things surrounding him are not just unconventional, but immoral. Never mind that it's a secret hidden from the world, but what does his wife think when he takes extra days away and doesn’t rush home to her and their kids?

I try not to think about her too much. A stabbing—no burning courses through me whenever I imagine him with her and their flock of children. I picture a home full of love and comfort. Nothing like the one mine turned into after my dad got sick. I can see them cuddling on the couch. One of their youngest sprawled across their laps with the iPad. The oldest yapping on the phone in the kitchen to her friends.

She’s pristine and so well put together. She looks it. Always dressed nice in designer. That rock of a ring beaming in every photo. Only the strongest and most resilient woman could raise five kids while her husband came and went unexpectedly like a full moon. She’s nothing like me. I know it. I’m Lana—always late and tripping through life. Never knowing or even prepared for what comes next. 

“You okay, friend?”

My eyes flutter and I snap out of the maladaptive dream at the sound of Anthony’s voice. 

“Yeah,” I lie to him again. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Wednesday, January 3, 2024

“Mm,” I groan flipping the duvet over my head. 

The sun bullying me awake. My head—a constant pounding at my frontal lobe. My reward for another round of Never Have I Ever, Caresha Please and Drunk Uno. Since the week of Christmas, all I've done is fill my body with alcohol and it's starting to take a toll on me.

The laughs and muffled chatter that must be my roommates, travel through my room walls. I snatch the cover back down, one eye peaking at the digital clock on the nightstand. 

3:12 PM

The fuck?

I know we wrapped it up pretty late last night, but I haven’t slept in like this since being a teenager. A blessing and a curse—my body’s natural alarm clock from years of morning shifts and morning classes, would usually wake me up against my own will. 

The smell of sweet syrup and hopefully pancakes is what boosts me to swing my legs on the edge of the bed and finally stretch. Limbs sore and head still pounding, my slippers scrape against the floor in pursuit to the kitchen. 

“Sleeping beauty!” Anthony beams. I eye their empty plates and a kitchen so clean it looks untouched. 

“Don’t worry. Your food is in the microwave,” Demi informs.

“Why did y’all let me sleep so long?” I rub my eyes opening the microwave to be met with a full plate as promised. I slam it back shut and the buzz fills the room after I press the one. 

“Girl, you’re on break and you have no work. What’s wrong with sleeping in?”

“Don’t want my body to get used to it.”

The plate is full and steaming as I carry it to the open stool next to Demi at the white marble top island. I’m halfway engaging in conversation, with Gossip Girl playing on the TV in the family room over. The metal of the fork hitting my plate as I scoop potatoes while biting into the beef bacon in rotation. Everything’s fine. It’s not until I take my first bite of the scrambled eggs that shit gets…funny. The smooth texture against my tongue at first and then the mini spasm of my throat as I attempt to get it down. My stomach turns once the smell of the eggs becomes too potent while it’s all I can focus on. The biggest thing in the room it becomes. I chew and chew—breath growing heavier and spit getting warmer with every rotation of my jaw. 

The clink of the fork hitting the plate rings dramatically, halting Demi and Anthony’s conversation. It’s all a blur. One second I’m sitting there with them and the next I’m inches away from a toilet bowl. Gasping for air after letting out everything from last night and just a few second ago. The smell—sour and overwhelming, has my back hunching as another round ejects from me. 

“Lana, oh my god.” Demi’s soft voice is over me as her small hand finds my hair. My chest expands rapidly as I cough and spit what’s left into the rest of it. Slamming the toilet, not being able to bear the smell a second longer. I blink hard to allow the sitting liquid in my eyes to fall. 

A stack of tissue jolts into my line of sight and I take it. “Thank you,” I croak and cough again. I shake my head, registering in cloudy consciousness, that look she gives me. “Probably all the alcohol catching up to me.”

“Alcohol, huh?” Her voice fades out. I follow her line of sight to the decorative basket sitting on my sink. A case of L Organic tampons standing tall amongst the other junk inside. Just one left in the clear cylinder. Making it more than obvious that they’ve gone untouched for some time—otherwise, they’d be replenished. 

Our eyes, like magnets, find each other. 

Boxes and boxes tumble inside the mini cart hanging in the crease of Demi’s elbow. It looks like she’s doing inventory. She uses a forearm to swipe what’s left on the shelf into the cart. Two don’t make the landing and I bend to pick them up. 

“Demi—you don’t think that’s a bit much, friend?”

“My ass.” Her eyebrows hike up. Boxes still rippling into the overflowing cart and still falling. The more I pick up, two more come down to the floor nearly hitting me on the head. “Some of these damn tests be lying. This is not the time to guess or play roulette.”

She stomps away from me on a mission. I place the handful of tests back on the shelf instead of adding fuel to her fire. Stomach empty and head full of the worst possible outcomes, I follow right behind her through the aisle. 

No words needed to be exchanged as we stormed out the bathroom together, bundling up and ordering a unnecessarily expense Uber. After disarming and convincing Anthony that I had started my period and didn’t have any tampons left, of course. More lies. 

What the fuck is even happening today? It all feels like the longest nightmare and it hasn’t even been an hour since I opened my eyes. 

My luck isn’t just falling short—it's nonexistent. The self-checkout is under maintenance. So we stand in wait, suppressing angst, as the younger cashier swipes the dozens of boxes with a constant beep. All different sizes, different brands adorned with different fonts. All with that same word somewhere on them that makes me want to throw up again. 

I want to jump out my skin watching the young boy swipe and swipe, eyeing every single test like he’s shopping himself. Eyes hesitantly looking up at us across from him. Our eyes like daggers, pierced on his every move, as if he’s handling thousands of our hard earned money in his very hands. God, I wish he’d hurry the fuck up. Just as I open my mouth to say something, Demi is quicker. 

“Your business—mind it,” she spits. Crossing her arms, pulling her black Chanel shades over her eyes as he nods frantically speeding his task up a couple notches. We came busting in this CVS, calling ourselves in disguise. Already bundled in puffer coats, scarves and beanies to protect from the inclement weather—we added shades that defeated their purpose, seeing as we’ve had them sitting atop our heads this whole time. 

Resting my hands in the pockets of my sweats, I case the store. Some middle-aged folks in the aisles. A group of what looks to be college kids come walking up to the register. And the frail older man behind us in line, with a prescription bag and jug of water in his hands. I pull my glasses down immediately when he and I lock eyes. 

After the ring up from hell, it took the persuasion of seven car salesmen for Demi to talk me out of taking all of the tests, right in the bathroom of that CVS.

“A drug store is not a place to crash out,” she tells me. 

I opt to crash out in the back of this Uber’s truck instead. Bags full of tests like groceries stocked for the inclement weather the news promised us. 

“I can’t be—” The shake of my head finishes my sentence like a period. I can’t even allow that word to flow past my lips. 

“Yeah, no shit.” What the fuck am I gonna do? I can’t be. I just can’t. School. His family. My family. My god—his wife. My breathing picks up and suddenly it feels like the middle of July in the back of this man’s Ford truck. “Lana—Lana just relax. We don’t even know if it’s that yet.” 

“What else can it be?” My face screws up. Tears hot and threatening to spill. “Sir, can you please turn the heat down?!” 

“Sorry—sorry ma’am.” He eyes us through the rearview hastily. I didn’t mean to yell, but damn. The hot air from the vent was doing the opposite of calming me down like Demi suggests. Everything around me feels like too much. I snatch the LV scarf straight from my neck on the verge of suffocating. 

“You two have been careful?” Demi’s eyes pierce mine. Careful. He’s careful with just about everything else, except that. He’s grown careless. Yeah, no phone around me but it feels too good to pull out. Call only from a payphone, but snatching the condom off in the heat of a wild night. “Lana?” She calls my name. I know she’s expecting an answer but I can’t say it out loud. NDA and shame both having a hand to my mouth. 

In defeat, my head hangs until it’s buried in my hands. I can’t be. 

A vivid and erotic reel of all the most recent times, secluded with him, flashes through my mind as I come to the painstaking truth that I actually can be. Before Christmas in Greenbay? Around Thanksgiving? When we went back to the Hamptons house—fire burning and crackling, laying on the living room rug, sweating all the extra left over energy out?

Every time I think I’ve pinned the exact moment it must’ve happened, I come up with a different more likely occurrence, until it seems every time might’ve been the time. It happens so often now—there’s no way for me to sensibly dig out when this catastrophe was born from the chemicals of careless lust and passion. 

My stomach gets queasy. Tight and twisting like I’m preparing for the steepest drop on a rollercoaster. A foreign sound—something between a whimper and a groan leaves me. 

“I think I’m gonna throw up again,” I strain. 

“Please not in this man’s truck.”

“Yes, please,” the driver pleads. Eyes shifting from the road to the rearview mirror. His futile outburst earning him a glare from hell from Demi.

Bzzz! Bzzz!

My Dior bag vibrates between us. We exchange looks before I dig my phone out and sure enough, a text from an unknown number is the latest notification.

Vegas this weekend. He’s asking for you. 9543402985

Staring at the text on the screen, I fight the urge to throw up again. The timing is cataclysmic. My heart usually races for a different reason when I see those words. 

Muscle memory has me googling the nearest payphone or Link kiosk. “Sir, I’m sorry but can you stop at Penn station really quick.”

“You gotta do that right now?”

“If not now, then when?” I turn to be met with her head shaking. “I’ll add the stop on the app,” I tell the driver. 

Quads aching from stammering down three flights of steel steps—maneuvering through chunks of civilians like the most skilled quarterback—face burning from trying to regulate its normal temperature—I snatch the receiver off the hook. 

It dawns on me hearing the gnawing dial tone, that I don’t have any quarters. No way in hell am I going back up all those steps to the coin machine. My head rotates to gauge my surroundings. Only a few feet away from me, a young boy—curly fro, no older than fourteen dressed in a Denim Tears sweatsuit—leans on the wall with a guitar in his hands. A more nineteen thirties, blues reminiscent rendition of Snooze emitting from it. 

“Kid.” I step away as far as I can, inching in his direction without dropping the phone. “I know you got some quarters in there.” My eyes drop to his hat sitting at his feet. “I need five dollars in change. “

He looks between his NY Yankees hat and me with my hand out. “I want twenty.” 

“What?!” 

“Twenty or nothing.”

“How you want twenty and all I need is twenty quarters?” It's not like I’m short on money. In fact, I could make the kid’s day, Cashapp him five hundred dollars, and go on about my business. But something about him trying to hustle me, threw me left. Especially considering the day’s already unfortunate events. I’m already abundant in Ls. Two seconds from wilding out on the nearest person. 

He shrugs. “And all I need is a twenty.” I sigh deeply. Patience dropping like the sand in a hourglass. “What I gain from giving you these quarters?”

“You won’t lose anything if you give me the quarters for a five. It's an even exchange,” I bargain. I can see the internal battle, watching his eyes shift between me and his hat. “Look—how about I give you ten.” I show him another five dollar bill. “And you still just give me the five in quarters. You gain five, little man.”

He squints and then counts the twenty quarters off before dropping them in my hand. “Bet.” He snatches the two fives from me and resumes his ballad. 

“Punk,” I mumble slipping his quarters into the slot. I am well versed in the art of negotiation. Years of making a sucker out of my brother whenever he needed to just “borrow” money from my stash. Charged that ass interest too. 

The line rings only twice before that silence signals connection. “Paul?”

“Alana, how are you?” Never been better. I just got cheated out of five dollars. I’m using a dirty ass payphone in underground NYC to call my famous fuckbuddy’s companion. I’m almost a month late on my period. And the dad is public married with five kids already, and old enough to be my father. 

“I’m fine,” I tell the same lie two days in a row. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing down this way. Is it snowing over there?”

“Yeah—bad. I haven’t seen it like this in years.” 

“Well, you’ll be relieved to know you’ll be on the west coast, where there’s no snow by this time on Friday.”

“I thought the show was in Canada?”

“It is,” he confirms. “He doesn’t plan on staying though. He has business in Vegas the next day so it makes sense to just leave.”

“I’ll be staying until Sunday?”

“Monday, actually. I’ll be sending over the flight and hotel details soon.” I nod as if he can see me. “You ever been to Vegas?”

“No.” Before him, I hadn’t really been anywhere. 

“I don’t think it’s anything special unless you’re into gambling.”

“Good to know.” The conversation is static—robotic almost. Or maybe that’s in my head. Every pause feeling like a confession of some sort. Every word I push out feels like I should be saying something else. 

“Anything else going on?” He pokes. 

My mouth opens then shuts. My catastrophic possibility—likely to affect everyone around me, including the man on the phone—hanging tight on prison bars, begging to be set free. This doesn’t feel right. All the secrets. All the suppression. There’s no way I’d be able to do this in front of him after knowing whether I am or am not. So I decide right here that I won’t know. 

Snow flurries land and melt on my face all at once as I jog back to the truck. “Thank you,” I tell the man for the unpredicted stop, right before he pulls off. Demi’s eyes burning on me like the brightest light in a room.

“I guess you’re leaving this weekend.”

I nod. A pause hangs between us. It’s louder than All I Want For Christmas playing on the radio. “I’m not taking those.” My confession breaks free. 

“I’m sorry, what?”

I finally meet her gaze. Her eyes wide and brows lifting to her hairline damn near. “I’m not taking those,” I repeat. “The tests.”

“I’m confused. Did you just come on or something?” She looks me over as if the evidence of my period would be on the clothes I’m wearing. 

“Demi—I can’t take those before I go. Imagine the two lines come up. I’m supposed to just go around him acting normal?”

“Or—hear me out—tell him the truth?”

My face screws up hearing such a simple anecdote that’s the furthest thing from simple. “You’re talking crazy.”

“What is so crazy about telling the truth? Unless you’ve already decided what you’re doing if the two lines do show up, and you just don’t want him to have any say?” Another lingering silence. It’s smoldering hot like the air coming from the car’s vents, yet again. “Wow.”

“We already know his verdict.”

“Oh, you’ve asked him already?” She laughs, but it’s vacant of any joy. “Great—just do whatever you want.” She turns her head to the window after throwing a hand up. 

“Oh—you’re one of those?”

“I didn’t say all that.” Her eyes turn to slits from my accusation. An accusation I knew bore no weight. Demi is as liberal as they come. 

Our eyes sharp and daring don’t leave one another. I’m the first to break. Internal strife too great already. I don’t need two battles. I won’t survive either.

“This is nothing to argue about.” I face forward. Catching the eyes of the driver who snatches his away in a flash. Nosy bitch.

“Not arguing. Whatever the results…I don’t think the decision should fall all on you.” Her voice, way softer than that condescending one from just seconds ago that made me feel smaller than a crumb. “And I think you shouldn’t be so quick to choose, either. Believe me—I get it. This is probably the worst thing that could happen. But the quick decisions are usually the ones we end up regretting.”

My nose flares. Chin quivering as I focus on the snow flurries sticking and melting to rain on the window. I hate when she makes sense. This whole thing feels like the end of the world. One of those situations that’s going to stick to me for the rest of my fucking life. Regardless, of the outcome.

What I imagined yesterday—their picture perfect family, doing what loving families do—I’d put a crack right down the middle. Our secret—our bubble fed in the dark of expensive hotel rooms and hours after midnight—would have no choice but to come to light. And I don’t think I am strong enough for that. Let alone motherhood. 

Friday, January 5, 2024

I laugh to myself, watching in real time as he smugly grins down at Nick Aldis from the ring. Capturing his belt from Paul after just laying out Randy, AJ Styles and LA Knight like they were mere target practice to him. Just pawns on a board. 

I shake my head. A fucking menace. 

“Shitting me?” An outburst that nobody can hear after Nick informs Paul of the fatal four-way match to take place. I know Demi’s going ballistic back home. I stare at the phone on the nightstand provided by the hotel. I could call, but I know that’s probably going against something in the NDA.

Suddenly, a wave of dreariness hits me. Most likely an effect of traveling and all the stress. Although Google told me it was an early symptom of my unwanted event. 

When I wake up it’s almost one in the morning. Still no Joe. 

I shower again, wincing at the water hitting my chest. Usually a tell sign that my period is not far behind, but she’s almost a month late. Life has been moving way too fast, flashing by me. Holidays, traveling to meet him, semester ending—and I never stopped to register that I hadn’t touched a tampon in a month. My head has been gone.

On the plane ride, I decided to heed Demi’s advice. Slow the process of decision-making down by weighing everything first. Pros and cons. So far, the only pro I came up with, is that he’s well off and not afraid to splurge or share. My, you-know-what, would never have to grow content with financial struggles. 

So far that cons list is longer than Santa’s naughty list when he ventures into O’block. 

Child number six (I.e. the baby of the family usually forgotten)

Born out of wedlock

Most likely a secret for most of their lives. Not being able to tell the kids at school who their daddy is

Judgment 

Balancing school and … you know what

Gaining weight from the cravings

Giving birth and all the things that can go wrong with that

More nausea 

Going from an escape to an obligation to him

The cons just kept hitting me like all the dodge balls from the other team when you’re the last man standing on your side—until I was buried in cons.

I make my way downstairs to this hotel that sits in the heart of Vegas. Seas and lakes of lively people, all dressed up and most likely intoxicated. Loud and flashy. That’s all I’ll remember about Vegas. The people, the buildings, the scenery. In your face and in your pockets. 

I eat for the sixth time since this morning. Sitting by my lonesome now at a slot machine. Pressing away and feeding the machine more money to keep losing—a too familiar tango, sort of a reflection for the relationship between him and I.

Vegas nights…this would be a decent theme for a prom. The committee at the hospital had been searching for ideas already, to start planning their annual charity prom for the kids who can’t make their own.

I reach into my purse, ready to text Demi and throw her the idea to get her opinion. I stop myself. I don’t have my phone. Right…

My shoulders slump with the release of a breath. I keep tapping. And tapping. And tapping. Until I’m damn near one with the machine, tapping like second nature while I get lost in my insecurities. 

Is this what I want for my life? For my…

It’s lonely. It’s tedious. Searching for things to occupy my time until he shows up. Always wondering and worrying about what or who he’s doing when he’s not in my line of sight. It won’t magically change just because something or someone else enters the picture. Being a mother to his kid won’t suddenly usher in a new routine in place of him trying to get me in where I can fit in. It’ll be the same scenario. I mean, look how he treats the first mother of his children. 

This is not what I’d want for me and mine. Even when my father was sick, he uprooted being a father as a priority. He was always present. Always doing what his body would allow. He never had to fit us in. Never had to juggle two households and a career. My kids don’t deserve chaos. A chaotic childhood will only make them susceptible to a chaotic life. Kind of like the one I’m living now. 

All I’ve done is generate cons. There are no pros. 

The glow of the TV is the only source of light in this massive penthouse suite when the soft click of the master bedroom door prompts my eyes to pop open from sudden slumber. 

His large frame, a shadow so quiet, as he makes his way toward the bed where I sit up. 

“I woke you up?” He whispers.

“Yeah, but it’s cool.”

He drops the duffel bag by the foot of the king bed where I stand to meet him. Spreading his hands out to invite me into his arms. 

“Mm,” he groans into the hug. Simultaneously releasing a breath together, like he’s transferring all the tension in his body to me. But there’s no need. I’m already overflown with it. Wrapped in his big arms, it hides cowardly. Afraid to come out and show itself in front of him. That’s not the purpose I serve here. “Squeeze,” he instructs. “Tight, tight, tight,” he mumbles with his mouth right on top of my head. The grin sneaks on my face, not for show, as I grip his hard body as much as I can. Burying my face into his hoodie and sniffing in that familiar cleanliness that’s stained on him. The events of the week forgotten for no longer than the twenty seconds we embrace. SWV was right. The cause and cure. 

“Everything alright?” He leans back a few inches. Eyebrows wrinkling and something of a smile dancing on his handsome face. 

“Yeah.” I nod. Voice soft and unconvincing. “I’m fine.” Another lie. Three for three now. The slot machines downstairs would be blinging and flashing obnoxiously. His stillness lets me know he’s not buying the act. “—Just work things.” 

“Okay. I’m gonna take a shower.” I don’t say anything, already knowing the announcement is an invitation. I let him do his thing before he enrages out the steam filled ensuite bathroom. Body dripping wet still—arms big and daring. I almost regret my decision to not join him.

We don’t have sex. The subtle bags sitting under his captivating eyes tell a story of restlessness. He did a lot tonight just on camera, so I can only imagine. My reading proven correct when he sinks his large frame beside me, welcoming me into his space with a hand to the back of my head until it’s comfortable on his peck. 

“What did you do today?”

“Nothing really. Ordered room service. I watched Smackdown.” He elicits another smile from me despite the internal dread, reminiscing on his performance.

“Yeah? How’d you like it?” His large hand slides down to palm my stomach. A gesture that I usually ignore, thinking it was just comfortable for him. No different than the circles he draws on  my hip at times. But this time I freeze up like a possum playing dead. Previous thoughts vacuumed right from me. 

“Um…wait—what—what were we talking about again?”

His chest tightens under me from laughing. “Don’t tell me your memory is going before mine?”

“I’m not the one pushing forty.” I force a laugh. Grateful he can’t see that it didn’t reach my face. 

“The show?”

“Oh, right. Big bully Roman. It was really good. They should have you teaching classes on heel turns.”

“Mm,” he hums sleepily. “Didn’t do anything else while I was gone?”

“I went downstairs for a little bit. Played the slots. And some roulette…”

“Didn’t know you liked to gamble,” he speaks ignorantly and somehow still knowingly. I’ve been gambling since I’ve met him. Gambling my time and the discovery of this whole ordeal. And now, a new stake has entered the bet. The roulette of whether I am or am not still spinning with no landing.

“No…I don’t actually…”

He fights the dreariness in his deep voice for a while longer. Talking to me about his first time in Vegas with the twins amongst other things. It’s not long before I hear the soft snores. 

All I’ve wanted to do, for days now, is call my mom and tell her everything. Let the confessions roll from me like a ball down a hill nonstop. Release the angst from me to her, the way I’ve always done. Selfish tendencies of a child, I know. 

But sadly, I can hear her now. Lana, what business do you have with a married man? A man whose plate is already full when there are men that will come to you with an empty one?

Tina Maxwell—previously Tina Floyd—is a proud woman. Philly born and bred—her, bullshit, and low maintenance, just don’t coincide. Her heart is the size of Alaska, but her pride and self worth can fit two more of that colossal state. Hence, why immediately after my father recovered and just couldn’t seem to raise his spirits back up, with no will to bring back the spark in his marriage after it laid stagnant so long—she filed for divorce. 

I know people judge her for it. I was one of them. How could she leave a man that had just recovered from a battle of fighting cancer? 

The older I get, the more the curtain protecting that answer on the board lowers itself. Life is too short to waste on anything or anybody. She loved and still loves my father. But love is fickle. It burns out too quickly. She gave him a chance and he didn’t want it. She did her duty as a wife and a mother to his two kids. Stayed bedside, overextended herself when he was too sick to work let alone get out of bed, showed up to every appointment and waited in angst through every procedure.

After choosing him for years, she chose herself. And she always does. The only things that take precedence over that, are her kids. 

If she knew how I lay in this bed up under a man that belongs to someone else, while the strong possibility of carrying his child looms over us—she’d drop to her knees. And me along with her, too weak to stomach the look of disappointment on her face. 

Whatever we have—or whatever I think we have—it’s dead. The sun shines on all living things and we’ve never even touched the light of day. So, I might as well lay to rest whatever is left or whatever is expected to come. I already know what he’d want. I don’t need to ask or consider. 

He’s married. Happily or not is irrelevant because he’s not unhappy enough to leave. He made a promise in front of God and his family. She’s who he goes home to. He still comes in whatever luxury hotel room, whatever time of the night, relieving himself of that black band that he displays to everyone except me. 

So, it doesn’t really matter what results come from those tests when I get back home. Just like us, it’s already done. 

A/N // as always, if you read it or even a portion of it, i am forever grateful💗 feedback is welcomed.

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[scribblesofagoonerr]

𝑀𝑜𝓃𝓀𝑒𝓎 Our Girl: Growing Up | 𝐼𝒻 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒮𝓀𝓎 𝒯𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒲𝑒 𝐿𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒰𝓅𝑜𝓃, 𝒮𝒽𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝒯𝓊𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐹𝒶𝓁𝓁

summary: the new house move is overshadowed by monkey's first supervised visit with mark

our girl: growing up masterlist

“Looks like that was the last box in the van,” Jordan cheerfully announced, stepping into the house with a cardboard box in hand, “Now it’s the fun part of unpacking everything.”

Leah mock-wiped her brow with an exaggerated sigh, “Phew, thank God. That felt endless.”

Jacob snorted, smirking at her, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You barely carried half of them–Dad and I did all the hard work.”

“Shush, you,” Leah shot back with a playful grin, “I’ll have you know I’m carrying precious cargo.”

Jacob raised an eyebrow, “Oh yeah? And what’s that then?”

“Your future niece or nephew,” Leah smirked, motioning to her stomach.

Jacob blinked before letting out a low whistle, “Touché. I’ll let you off this time.”

“Le, I’m just sorting out everything in the kitchen,” Amanda called from inside the house, already beginning her work in the kitchen, “Is there anything you guys want in a specific place?”

“No, it should be fine wherever. We can always rearrange it if needs be,” Leah responded, shrugging her shoulders, taking the moment to glance around the spacious three-bedroomed house, her expression shifting to something more contemplative, “Well, I guess this is it–home sweet home.”

You stood beside her, silent, your eyes wide scanning the unfamiliar space.

Leah had never expected to move out so soon—sure there was countless talks of it with Jordan, but the plan had always been to stay in her family home until she was at least done with her accountancy degree, but life had a way of throwing unexpected changes her way.

The biggest one? You.

You needed a safe place to stay, and Leah’s childhood home simply wasn’t big enough. So here you were–standing in the hallway of what Leah called your new home.

And then there was the baby. Leah and Jordan were only ten weeks along, but their future had already shifted in ways they hadn’t fully processed yet. You weren’t sure what that meant for you. Did this change things? Did they still want you here? Did you even belong?

“We’ll make it perfect for our kids–Monkey and our little one, whatever gender they turn out to be,” Jordan swooped behind Leah, wrapping her free arm around her girlfriend’s waist.

“My money’s still on it being a boy,” Jacob teased.

Leah huffed, rolling her eyes, “You just want a nephew to support the same team that you do.”

“Of course I do!” Jacob puffed out his chest, “I can guide him down the right path. Ain’t that right, Dad?” He asked, turning round to look at the older man who had just walked into the room.

“Absolutely,” David agreed.

“As if,” Leah scoffed, waggling her fingers in mock threat, “There’s no way my future child will support anyone but Arsenal.”

Jordan laughed in agreement, moving to crouch down to unpack a box that she’d recently brought into the house, “She’s serious about that one. If you even brought a Spurs shirt into this house, she’d probably set it on fire.”

“Correct,” Leah said, nodding firmly.

Jacob scoffed, “You can’t just expect them to pick Arsenal. What if they want to support Spurs?”

Leah shuddered dramatically, “Over my dead body.”

“Jacob does have a point though,” Jordan began, grinning at her girlfriend, “A boy would be nice–one of each then, yeah?”

“Mhm, maybe,” Leah mused, “But a girl would be nice too, wouldn’t it? Only ten more weeks until we find out.”

“Ten weeks feels like forever,” Jordan sighed.

The conversation drifted around you, the room buzzing with movement–The banter continued about which team the new baby would support, while Amanda unpacked in the kitchen and Jordan sorted through things in the living room. You stood still in the hallway, watching it all but unsure where you fit into the chaos.

Your fingers twitched at your sides before, slowly, your thumb found its way into your mouth. It was instinct, comfort–something familiar when everything else felt too new, too uncertain.

Leah must have noticed because before long, she was crouching in front of you, “Hey, my girl,” She began in a gentle tone of voice, “This is your new home now. You have your own bedroom here, and we can make it however you like–it’s entirely yours.”

“Mine?” Your voice was barely a whisper.

Leah smiled, reaching out to tuck a lose strand of your hair behind your ear, “Yes, it’s yours–”

“Oi, Leah!” Jacob called, interrupting the moment the two of you had, “Where do you want this box labeled ‘kitchen’?”

“My guess would be in the kitchen there, J,” Leah laughed, her younger brothers’ question making her smile, but she barely paid him any mind with her attention still on you, “What do you think about it, my girl?”

You didn’t answer. You didn’t want to. Talking felt too big, too hard–you felt it was safer to remain quiet at this time. 

Leah reached out, rubbing slow, circles on your arm. Then, with a small smile, she gently tapped your hand, “Hey, let’s try to keep your thumb out of your mouth, yeah? We don’t want you getting poorly from the yucky germs, do we?”

You hesitated but, after a few seconds, pulled your thumb away, rubbing it against your sleeve instead. Leah nodded approvingly and stood up, holding her hand out, “Come on, let’s go see your room.”

“It… It’s mine?” You asked, confused.

“Yeah, it is,” Leah agreed, squeezing her hand reassuringly as you began to climb the stairs, walking into your new bedroom, “Do you like it? We can decorate it however you want.”

Your brows furrowed, “But… But I thought this was only temporary.”

“This is your home now, Monkey,” Leah reassured you, crouching to meet your eye level, “You’re here, and you don’t have to worry about going anywhere, alright?”

You hesitated, shifting your weight, “I… I guess so.”

“Plenty of room for all those Lego bricks you love to leave everywhere,” Leah added, nudging you lightly.

“How do you like it, little one?” Jordan poked her head around your bedroom door, “Think there’s enough space on the walls to put up all those Shrek posters–hey, we can even paint it green if you want, or yellow, like Spongebob?” She grinned playfully.

Leah laughed, squeezing your hand again, “This is your home now, Monkey. With us. We want you to feel safe here. To be happy.”

“H… Happy?” You echoed uncertainly.

“That’s right, my girl,” Leah’s voice was warm, “Your happiness is what matters most to us.”

Before you could respond, a loud crash from downstairs made you jump.

“Jacob!” Amanda’s voice rang out.

“That wasn’t me!” Jacob not-so-innocently replied.

Leah chuckled before turning back to you, “We should probably go and see what’s going on. Do you want to come with us, or do you want to explore your new room?”

You hesitated for a beat, then whispered, “I… I want to come.”

Leah didn’t waste time holding out her hand again, “Come on then, cheeky Monkey. Let’s go see what chaos awaits downstairs.”

As you walked together, you heard Jordan murmur behind you.

“Home sweet home, eh?”

Leah hummed in agreement, “Home sweet home. It’s going to be perfect–for us and our kid."

“Come on my girl, you need to eat more than that,” Leah noted the untouched plate of food that was set in front of you on the table, “I know you like it, and you even have baked beans instead of spaghetti hoops this time, so what’s the problem, hm?”

The following night in your new home should have been the start of a new and exciting new adventure, a new chapter with them–however, that was overshadowed by the planned court-ordered supervised visit with your dad that had been mentioned to you in passing conversation the next day.

That set your mood for the rest of the evening.

You hadn’t even bothered to lift your fork to take a bite of your food, “I… I don’t want to.”

“You’ve hardly touched it,” Jordan added.

You scrunched your face up in protest, “I don’t care! I don’t want it–I’m not eating it!”

“Well you can’t not eat anything, can you?” Leah remained calm and patient, fixing you with a knowing look, “If you don’t eat your dinner then you won’t get any pudding, and I know how much you like that, don’t you?”

“I don’t care!” You exclaimed, crossing your arms over your chest as you scowled at your dinner, “It’s dumb and stupid! I… I don’t want it!”

“Right, okay then…” Leah exhaled a sigh, rubbing her temples–she wasn’t angry at you, not really. But she hated seeing you like this, torn between giving in and holding her ground, “If you don’t want to eat your dinner then that’s fine, but you will not be eating anything else–no cake, no biscuits, no chocolate.”

“That’s not fair!” You growled aloud, getting angry at the idea of not being allowed any nice treats, “I… I want them!”

“Neither is wasting dinner that Jordan has cooked,” Leah wasn’t budging on her own decision, “You know the rules. If you’re not going to eat your dinner then you’re not getting any nice things.”

You continued to scowl at Leah, keeping your arms crossed over your chest, “Don’t wanna eat stupid dinner…”

“I know you don’t want to, Monkey,” Leah remained patient the entire time, “But you need to eat. It’s important.”

“No, don’t wanna,” Your hands clenched into fists under the table, nails digging into your palms as you glared at the plate. A lump formed in your throat, and you could feel the tightness in your chest that you didn’t know how to explain. Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, but you were trying so hard to keep them back.

Leah furrowed her brow, sensing this was something bigger than you being stubborn and not wanting to eat your dinner, “What is this about, madam?”

“Nuffin’ I just am not hungry!” You exclaimed.

Leah didn’t automatically believe that. She knew it was something deeper than just not being hungry, “Monkey, come on. Talk to me, my girl. What’s going on inside that head of yours, hm?”

“I… I don’t want to,” Your voice faltered, afraid to admit what was the actual source of your upset.

“Don’t want to, what?” Leah repeated in a gentle tone of voice, “You can trust me, Monkey. If something is upsetting you then I would like to know, please.”

“I don’t want to go,” You mumbled so quietly that you were barely even heard, “I… I don’t want to see him.”

“Oh,” Leah’s realisation was immediate as she exhaled a sigh, “I know you don’t want to, but it’ll be okay. Hannah will be there with you the whole time, won’t she?” She reassured you the best that she could.

That did nothing to ease the sour mood you were in, “NO! I don’t want to go, Le!”

“I know you don’t, but it’s not our decision on this… I’m sorry, my girl,” Leah hated the idea of the courts being able to give your dad a second chance, but there wasn’t a lot that she could do about it to make them think differently–it wasn’t her decision.

You huffed, sitting slouched at the dinner table while continuing to glare at your untouched dinner like you had a personal vendetta against it, “I… I don’t want to go.”

“Hey, it’s only going to be for a couple of hours, and then you’ll be back here, won’t you?” Leah reminded you with a kind smile.

You still weren’t keen on the idea regardless, “I don’t want to go!”

Leah frowned, pursing her lips, “I’m sorry, Monkey, but it’s out of our hands.”

“NO!” You shot up from the table so fast that your chair scraped across the floor. Without another word, you bolted up the stairs, slamming your bedroom door so hard the walls rattled.

“Monkey–” Leah stood up, frustration written all over her face, ready to go after you.

“Hey, just let her calm down, Le,” Jordan interrupted, placing a steady hand on her girlfriend’s arm, “Let’s just give her a minute to calm down.”

“You’re right,” Leah relented, exhaling a sigh.

Jordan sympathsised with her girlfriend’s frustration, “It’s a lot for her to deal with, remember? We’ll talk to her when she’s ready.”

“How could the court even consider giving him a second chance?” Leah’s voice cracked slightly as she muttered the words, disbelief and anger mingling in her tone, “Those photos… the bruises… it’s not enough for them?”

Jordan moved closer to Leah, placing a gentle hand on her back, “I know, but it’s been agreed and there’s nothing we can do about it,” She explained, “Let’s just hope… Well for now, let’s just hope that it goes well tomorrow.”

“Thank God Hannah will be there to supervise it,” Leah murmured quietly.

“Come on, come sit down and finish eating,” Jordan gestured Leah to sit back down at the table and finish her own dinner, “It’s not good for you to be getting so worked up. You have the baby to think about, remember?”

“I know… I just…” Leah’s hands balled into fists as she leaned against the kitchen counter, “I feel so helpless, Jord. We can’t protect her from this… We can’t protect her from him.”

“Le,” Jordan began to speak before the sound of furniture crashing echoed through the house, followed by a drawer being yanked open and your muffled shout, “What on earth was that?”

Leah’s shoulders slumped in resignation, “That would be Monkey destroying everything in her room… again.”

“Wakey, wakey, Monkey,” Leah gently nudged you, her voice soft and warm. Your bedroom was still a mess from the meltdown last night–clothes scattered, stuffed animals thrown across the room, blankets half-hanging off the bed. But Leah didn’t say anything about it. She just carried on with the morning routine, the same one she’d followed every day this past month, like you hadn’t spent the night crying into her chest until you finally wore yourself out.

You’d wake up, and then you’d have breakfast while watching morning cartoons–Coco Pops and Spongebob, always the same. Your routine was solid, it was safe. Change was bad. You hated it when things changed.

Leah was always the one to wake you up. You’d learned that Jordan preferred her lie-ins–though Leah joked that wouldn’t be happening much longer when the new baby arrived.

You weren’t sure how to feel about that. Would you still get your morning cartoons? Would they steal all the cereal?

“I know you’re awake, madam. You can’t fool me,” A smile tugged at Leah’s lips as she reached out to tickle your foot, the one spot she knew would always make you giggle, “See? I knew it.”

“Not fair,” You muttered, scrunching your face up in protest.

“Did you sleep well, my girl?” Leah’s voice was soft, but of course she already knew the answer–it was a definite no. She’d woken up with you several times throughout the night, but then, Leah wasn’t sure there had been a single night in the last month that you had actually slept through the night.

“M’ still sleepy,” You mumbled, pulling the duvet over your head in an attempt to hide.

“I know. But come on, we’ve got a busy day ahead,” Leah’s tone stayed gentle, but there was an edge of something else in her voice–something that made you tense up, “Do you remember what’s happening today?”

Of course you remembered. You hadn’t stopped thinking about it since yesterday. Your heart started to race just at the thought of it.

You didn’t want to see your dad, let alone sit in the same room as him. The idea made your stomach churn.

Maybe if you just pretended to be asleep long enough, then you wouldn’t have to go?

“I don’t want to go, Le,” Your voice was small, almost a whisper.

“I know, Monkey, I know,” Leah’s hand brushed your hair back gently, as if she was trying to soothe the anxiety bubbling up inside you, “If it was up to me, I wouldn’t make you go either. But…”

“Then make it happen,” You whispered desperately.

Leah hesitated, her fingers pausing on your hair for a moment before she sighed, “It’s just not that simple, Monkey. This… This is out of my hands.”

You didn’t like that answer.

You curled in on yourself, gripping the duvet tighter. It wasn’t fair. Leah was the grown up–if she really wanted to, she could stop this, couldn’t she?

She could fix it.

“Come on,” Leah coaxed after a moment, “I bet you’re hungry, aren’t you? You didn’t eat dinner last night.”

“M’ not,” You protested against the idea.

Leah hummed like she didn’t quite believe you, “Well, if we go downstairs now, I’m pretty sure we’ll make it in time for another episode of Spongebob.”

You turned your face deeper into the pillow, “Don’t wanna watch it.”

“You don’t?” Leah sounded amused, “Now that is something new.”

“I just wanna go back to bed,” You huffed, your voice growing thick with frustration, “I don’t wanna go to the stupid visit!”

The words exploded out of you before you could stop them, your hands balling up into fists against the mattress.

Leah didn’t react right away. She didn’t scold you or tell you off. She just sighed, shifting so she was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I know you don’t want to do this, Monkey,” She said quietly, “And believe me, if I could change it, I would. But you know I can’t. It’s out of my control.  And I know you’re scared about this, but it’s going to be fine. Okay? You’re not going to go through this on your own.”

Her words sat heavy in the air between you.

You hated this. You hated everything about it.

“It’s not fair,” You muttered.

Leah nodded in understanding, “I know it’s not.”

She didn’t try to force you out of bed. She just stayed there, waiting, letting you feel what you needed to feel.

And then, after a while, she spoke again, but softer this time.

“Tell you what. How about we go downstairs, yeah? You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to. We can just sit together. We can watch Spongebob, or something else entirely different if you want. I just want you to be happy.”

You hesitated.

You didn’t want to go downstairs. You didn’t want to do anything. But… Leah was waiting. She wasn’t going to leave.

You peeked out from under the duvet, “Anything?”

Leah smiled, “Anything.”

You weren’t sure if that made you feel better or worse. But still, slowly, you pushed the duvet back.

Leah held out her hand, patient as ever.

After a moment, you took it.

But it was never going to be that easy.

If you’d have asked Leah and Jordan, then the entire morning leading up to the visit was a gruelling task–everything was a struggle, and you weren’t shy about making it clear that you didn’t want to go to the contact centre.

“Monkey, you have to get dressed,” Leah’s voice was tired and her patience fraying after hours of battling with you over even the smallest tasks.

“No I don’t!” You argued, shaking your head and refusing to follow instructions–in your head, if you didn’t get dressed then you wouldn’t have to go.

Simple. Or so you thought it would be.

“Yes you do,” Leah’s tone was firm, but she wasn’t without empathy. The frustration was growing on her side, but she tried to keep her voice steady, ”Come on, let’s get dressed, okay?”

“NO!” You kicked out, your fists clenching as you tried to make your point clear. It wasn’t just about the clothes. It was everything–the whole day that felt impossible.

“Well unless you want to go out wearing your pyjamas then you have to get changed,” Leah tried to reason with you, her voice quieter, like you were much younger than you were, seemingly the only approach that would have any hope of working, “Come on, let’s go and find something for you to wear.”

“I don’t wanna wear that!” You pushed the shirt she offered away, shaking your head furiously as the tears welled in your eyes.

“Okay,” Leah said gently, holding up another shirt, her hands already trembling a little from the pressure, “What about this one instead?”

“NO!” You were beyond reasoning now, your body tense with defiance, face scrunched up in frustration. The more she tried, the more you pushed back. The tension was growing, and Leah could feel it too.

“Hey, hey, less of the shouting please,” Leah sighed, massaging her temple as the beginnings of a headache crept in. She could already feel the strain of your resistance, “Right, how about… how about this one?” She asked, holding up yet another option.

You scrunched your face up in further protest, “No–I’m not going!” Your voice cracked, raw emotion slipping through despite your best attempts to stay in control.

“How’s it going in here?” Jordan gingerly popped her head around the door, more than aware of the answer–she’d heard the full high-pitched screaming from downstairs.

“Well every outfit so far is out of the question,” Leah muttered sarcastically, “How about your Arsenal top? You love that one, don’t you.”

You couldn’t wear that top–your dad was dead against your team. Arsenal– it wouldn’t go well if you wore it, “NO! I’m not wearin’ that–I’m not goin’ there. I’m not doing it!”

Leah’s heart hurt hearing the plea in your voice. This was the crux of it. You didn’t want to go to the contact centre–the one place where you were expected to interact with your dad, and the thought of that terrified you. The idea of being forced to see him–of being near him at all–filled you with dread.

Leah knew it. Jordan knew it. But the court had decided that your dad deserved a second chance, and that was something neither of them could change.

“We’ve been through this, Monkey,” Leah said, her voice softening with sympathy, “I know you don’t want to go, but it’s not my decision. The court decided it, so we have to… we just have to follow their rules, alright?”

“The court is dumb,” You muttered, the words bitter and resentful. The fear was still there, swirling just beneath the surface, but it was now tinged with anger, too.

“The court might be dumb,” Leah said with a small, tired smile, “But I am still going to need you to get dressed for me, please?”

“Nuh-uh. You’re a meanie making me go! I don’t want to go!” Your voice trembled, thick with the frustration and terror you were feeling. You weren’t just refusing to–you were desperately trying to convince Leah to take control, to make the decision that you so badly wanted her to make, “I don’t wanna–you can’t make me!”

“I’m sorry, I really wish that it was up to me to decide,” Leah said softly, her voice breaking just a little at the edges, “I love you so much, I’m sorry that you have to do this. It’s only for an hour and a half and then you’ll be back here, and you’ll be safe, yeah? It won’t be that long, my girl,” She told you, biting her bottom lip, knowing she had to remain calm and sensible in this current situation.

Leah absolutely hated this.

She hated seeing you like this–the raw fear that ran so deep.

But the rules were the rules, and they had to be followed.

“No,” You whined, stomping your foot in protest, “Tell them not to allow it, Le,” You pleaded again, your voice weak and full of exhaustion.

Leah’s heart cracked just a little more, “I wish I could, Monkey,” She said, her voice steady but soft, “But we have to follow the rules, even if it’s unfair.”

“I would rather go to school than this,” You blurted out, desperate for anything to change the situation, even if it meant facing a classroom full of uncomfortable lessons and unwanted classmates.

“Wow? School? That must say a lot then, huh,” Leah replied with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Her heart ached for you. She could see how desperate you were to avoid what was coming–she couldn’t blame you for not wanting to go.

“Why can’t I just stay here?” You turned to her, your big eyes pleading.

“You are staying here, we’re not going anywhere,” Leah said, her voice gentle now, trying to comfort you as best as she could, “But this… this visit needs to happen, okay? It’s not going to be like before, I’ll be right here waiting for you when you come back.”

You looked at her, your face scrunching with fear, and the tears started to fall freely now, “I… I don’t want to see him. And I… I don’t want to talk to him.”

“I know,” Leah whispered, her hand moving to your hair as she gently stroked it, trying to calm you down, “I know you’re scared. You don’t have to talk to him until you’re ready. But it’s really important that we follow the rules, Monkey.”

“Please… Please don’t make me go, Le,” Your hands were trembling now, and the tears blurred your vision as you struggled to catch your breath. You could feel the tightness in your chest again–the same tightness that you always felt when things felt out of control.

Leah didn’t push you to stop crying. Instead, she pulled you into a tight hug, wrapping her arms around you protectively, letting you feel the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. You clutched at her tightly, your hands still trembling in fear as you buried your face into her chest. 

Leah’s hug felt tight… and safe.

You didn’t want to let go.

“It’s going to be okay,” Leah whispered into your hair, gently rocked you back and forth, her voice soothing and steady, “I’m right here, I’m right here with you.”

The knock at the door broke the conversation, and you flinched in sheer panic.

That meant time was ticking, and you would have to face your dad soon.

“That’ll be Hannah at the door. I’ll go let her in,” Jordan straightened up, making her way out of your bedroom, “I’ll let her know that we’re having a bit of a wobble at the minute.”

Leah looked over from where she held you tight against her and nodded, “Thanks, Jord.”

You continued to tremble in fear. You didn’t want to go, but you had no say in the matter.

Leah continued to hold you tight in her arms, “Hey, hey, I’m here. Listen, I know you’re scared, my girl,” She cooed, “And I know it’s a scary thing to go through, but you’re not alone in this. You’ve got me, you’ve got Jordy, and there’s this new Bubba as well kicking away in my belly. We’re a family now, my girl, okay? And no one can take that away from us.”

“I don’t want to see him, Le. I… I don’t want to see him. He scares me, Le,” You admitted, your bottom lip wobbling as the fear continued to pool in.

Leah swallowed the lump that formed in her throat, using one hand to keep a protective hold on you and the other hand to run through her hair, “I know, my girl. I know you’re scared. It’s just an hour. It’s one hour and then it’ll be over and done with. I promise, it’s not going to be for long.”

“Hi, Hannah. Come in,” Jordan’s voice was tired as she answered the door, her concern evident as she stepped aside to let the social worker in, “Things are… a bit tough at the minute. Monkey’s not exactly coping well.”

“Hi, Jordan,” Hannah  offered a small, sympathetic smile as she stepped inside, “I can’t even imagine how she must be feeling, but we’ll go at her pace. No rush.”

“Thank you,” Jordan sighed, running a hand through her hair, “This morning has been rough. Leah’s upstairs trying to get her dressed, but she’s fighting it every step of the way.”

Hannah nodded, understanding, “I imagine this isn’t easy for her. How long has she been like this? It’s hard to stick to a routine when everything feels so uncertain.”

“Since last night, when we told her,” Jordan exhaled sharply, “She had a meltdown. Trashed her room again. She’s scared. And honestly? I don’t blame her. None of this is fair.”

Hannah’s lips pressed in a thin line as she nodded, “I agree. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t allow this. But the court believes in second chances, unfortunately.”

Jordan scoffed, shaking her head, “Yeah? Well, I think she deserves a second chance more than he does. We’ve worked so hard to build some kind of stability for her, and now… it feels like all of that progress is just unravelling.”

“I understand why you might feel like that,” Hannah placed a reassuring hand on Jordan’s arm, “But I promise, it’s obvious that she feels safe here with you both.”

Jordan swallowed, nodding, “I hope so. I just hate that she has to go through this. She was finally settling in–she had her routine, she had stability… and now this just throws everything off.”

“I know,” Hannah’s voice was soft, “Consistency is so important for her, and having this looming over her must make it even harder. Has she been sleeping any better?”

Jordan hesitated before shaking her head, “Not really. She’s been waking up a lot. Leah and I take turns getting up with her, but she’s so unsettled. Nightmares, accidents, the whole thing. I think she’s just terrified all of this is going to be taken away from her.”

“That’s completely understandable,” Hannah sighed, “She’s been through so much already. She’s probably scared this isn’t permanent. That any second, she’ll be back with Mark.”

Jordan rubbed at her face, then hesitated before murmuring, “We, um… we just actually found out we’re pregnant. It’s still early, but… we’re excited.”

Hannah’s face lit up, “Oh, that’s amazing news! Congratulations!”

Jordan smiles softly, “Thank you. We haven’t told many people yet. Monkey knows–we’re just not sure how she feels about it.”

“I think it might take her some time to process, but I think she’ll love being a big sister,” Hannah gave a thoughtful nod, “It’s clear she adores you both–I can see her being fiercely protective.”

“Yeah, I can picture that too,” Jordan chuckled, “I just want her to know that no matter what, she’s ours. That’s never going to change.”

Hannah’s expression was warm, “She knows, Jordan. Even when she’s scared, even when she’s struggling–she knows.”

“I really hope so,” Jordan exhaled a sigh, her shoulders dropping slightly.

Back upstairs, Leah finally managed to tug a jumper over your head, exhaling heavily as she braced herself for the next battle–brushing your hair, cleaning your teeth. Every little task felt like an uphill struggle.

She hated this. Hated seeing you this upset. None of this was fair.

“One task down, several more to go,” Leah muttered to herself, grabbing your hairbrush and a loose bobble, “Come here, Monkey–no, don’t start jumping on the bed. Sit down so I can do your hair.”

You ignored her, too busy bouncing on your bed with a renewed energy, “I don’t wanna sit down–I wanna watch Scooby Doo!”

Leah sighed, trying to wrangle you down, “I know, but we need to get ready first. When you come home, you can watch it. Okay?”

“No! I want to watch it now!” You kicked out defiantly.

“Monkey, not now,” Leah said firmly, running a hand through her hair, “We need to get ready for today.”

You shook your head in defiance, “No! I want to watch Scooby Doo!”

Leah inhaled deeply, keeping her patience, “Listen, my girl, I know you want to, but you can’t right now. You have to go out, remember? The contact centre, with Hannah like we talked about, remember?”

“Nuh uh, I don’t wanna go,” You mumbled in protest.

Leah’s heart clenched, “I know, my girl. But this isn’t our decision to make. When you come home, we can watch whatever you want. Scooby Doo, The Lion King–whatever you’d like, yeah?”

Your face scrunched up and your whole body tensed, “No! No, no, no! I’m not going!”

“Monkey, I… I know this is really hard,” Leah crouched in front of you, keeping her voice soft but steady, “I know you don’t want to go, but Hannah’s here now. We have to try, okay?”

“I… I’m scared,” Your bottom lip trembled.

Leah’s expression softened, “I know, my girl. I know that you’re scared but Hannah will be there with you the whole time. She won’t let anything bad happen.”

You hesitated to agree to the idea of this, “You… You promise?”

Leah swallowed past the lump in her throat, then held out her pinky, “When have I ever broken a promise, eh?”

After a moment, you hooked your pinky around hers, sniffling.

“I promise you, Monkey. I know you’re scared, but Hannah won’t let anything bad happen to you, will she?” Leah reminded you gently.

“N… No,” You replied, biting your bottom lip.

“Exactly,” Leah ruffled your hair, “So… can we finish getting ready?” She held up the hairbrush, “And when we get home, we’ll do something nice. A movie, hot chocolate, proper snuggles–how does that sound?”

You hesitated, eyes darting to the floor. Then, with a reluctant nod, you jumped off the bed, landing on the floor with a loud bang that made Leah wince.

“That’s my good girl,” Leah praised, pressing a light kiss to your temple before working quickly to brush through your tangled hair, knowing full well your patience wouldn’t last long.

“I’ll see you when you’re home, my girl,” Leah forced a smile as she crouched to your level, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “Just an hour, okay? That’s all.”

“We love you,” Jordan added, her voice steady, reassuring.

You huffed in response, crossing your arms. It felt too much like before—like all those times you begged not to go. Like all those times you hadn’t been given a choice.

You didn’t like that.

Leah hated this. She hated watching you step through the door. Hated the way your little fingers gripped Hannah’s hand instead of hers. Even knowing you were coming back didn’t make it easier. It never did.

The door clicked shut.

“She hates me,” Leah murmured, staring at the space you’d just occupied, arms wrapping protectively around herself as if that might hold her together.

Jordan scoffed softly, stepping closer, “She’s a child, Le. it’s not possible for her to hate you.”

“Yeah, but it feels like I sent her away,” Leah’s voice cracked, her arms tightening as if she could still hold onto you.

Jordan’s hand rested against Leah’s back, grounding her, “The difference is, she’s coming back. In less than two hours–”

Leah didn’t waver from the front door, “Right now, an hour feels like forever.”

Jordan sighed, placing a steadying hand on Leah’s back, “I know. But stressing yourself out like this isn’t good for you in your condition. You need to take it easy–”

Leah shot her a look, “In my condition? Wow, Jord, flattery like that will get you nowhere.”

Jordan rolled her eyes but softened, “You know what I mean. I just… I don’t want you worrying yourself sick over this. Just… remember to breathe.”

“How am I supposed to breathe easy when I know she’s in a room with him?” Leah whispered, jaw clenched.

Jordan hesitated before replying, choosing her words carefully, “I know. It’s impossible to wrap my head around, too.”

Leah scoffed bitterly, “It shouldn’t even be allowed. He deserves to be locked up for what he’s put her through.”

“I know,” Jordan’s voice was quiet but firm, “I agree with you, and if I could, I would. You know that.”

Leah exhaled sharply, rubbing her face tiredly, “It’s just… I feel so powerless. We’ve built this for her, Jord. Safety. Stability. And now some judge gets to undo all of it with a flick of a pen? It’s not fair.”

“It’s not,” Jordan squeezed her shoulder, “But this is where she belongs, Le. No matter what happens in that room, she’s coming home to us. She’s not the same little girl he controlled before—she has us now.”

“But what if he confuses her?” Leah’s voice was barely above a whisper now, “ What if he says all the right things and makes her doubt everything?”

“That isn’t going to happen. Because she’s our girl,” Jordan turned Leah to face her fully, “She’s ours. We’re not going to lose her again. We’ll remind her that she’s loved and that he doesn’t get to hurt her anymore.”

Leah blinked rapidly, swallowing against the tightness in her throat, “I just want her to be happy and I hate the fact that she has to be put through this. It’s just not right, and I hate to think about how this is going to affect her when she comes back.”

“I know,” Jordan murmured, squeezing Leah’s hand, “But right now, we don’t have a choice. And that’s just the hardest part, isn’t it?”

Leah didn’t answer. She just looked at the door again, like she could will you back home.

Jordan rubbed her arm gently, “Come on, sit down for a bit. You need to rest.”

“No,” Leah shook her head in disagreement, “I can’t sit still. Not when she’s there… with him.”

“Standing there won’t make the time go quicker, Le,” Jordan told her in a gentle tone of voice.

“I know,” Leah admitted, her voice dropping lower so it’s barely audible, “I just can’t stop thinking about her. She’s our girl. I’m worried about her. I’ll always be worried about her.”

“At least come and sit down on the sofa, Le. I’ll make us a drink and we can talk to pass the time, yeah?”

Leah hesitated but eventually nodded in agreement, “Alright, fine.”

You stared ahead at the building in front of you, sitting in the back seat of Hannah’s car. The sight of it made your stomach twist in knots. You could feel the weight around you, thick with dread.

“Do I… Do I have to go in there?” Your voice was small, fragile. You couldn’t hide how terrified you felt.

“I’m afraid so, Monkey. I’m sorry,” Hannah responded, her voice soft and apologetic. She glanced back at you, offering a sympathetic smile, “But I’ll be right there with you the whole time. We can take this slow, okay? You don’t have to say anything, not unless you want to.”

You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment. You didn’t want to be here–you didn’t want to face him. Mark. The man who made your skin crawl just thinking about him.

Your stomach churned painfully at the thought of seeing him, let alone sitting in a room with him.

The moment you stepped inside the contact centre, everything felt wrong. It was as though you were walking straight into a trap. Your hands tightened around Hannah’s, your feet feeling like they were stuck to the floor. You tried to push down the rising panic in your chest, but it didn’t work.

You spotted Mark before he even saw you. His posture was slouched, knees bouncing too fast. His clothes were wrinkled, and the air around him smelled stale–like the alcohol from the night before.

Surely, he hadn’t come here still smelling like that, had he?

Then he looked up, and his face lit up in a way that sent a chill down your spine. It wasn’t a warm, welcome smile–it was a predatory kind of grin.

“Kiddo! Kiddo, over here!” Mark waved, his voice too loud, too enthusiastic.

Your body stiffened at the word–it felt cruel, like he didn’t care about how that word twisted your insides. You wanted to shrink into the floor and disappear.

“I don’t want to be here,” You mumbled, your feet still rooted to the floor, your body frozen in place.

Hannah’s hand gently pressed on your shoulder, a soft comfort against the rising fear inside of you, “I know, sweetheart. Let’s just take it one step at a time, okay? We don’t have to rush.”

But Mark’s voice sliced through the air again, you felt like you were trapped in a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from.

“Hey, kiddo,” He greeted again, his tone flat and too casual.

Hannah took a step forward, standing firm between you and Mark, “We’re not rushing this today, Mark. This is just a stepping stone, and we’re doing this at her pace. She’ll talk when she’s ready.”

Mark didn’t seem to care much about that. His eyes gleamed with an eager sort of energy like he was too excited about something he didn’t fully understand, “I brought you something, kiddo. I hope you like it.”

He dug into his khaki green jacket, pulling out a stuffed animal–a Chelsea bear.

Your heart sank. Chelsea? You didn’t care about Chelsea. You didn’t even want it. He knew you were an Arsenal fan–you played for the team. Arsenal is in your blood. It’s your home. He knew that, right? Why would he give you a Chelsea bear? Your stomach flipped in disgust. It wasn’t just the team–it was the fact that he thought this would make everything better.

He held out the bear to you, but you didn’t move. Your breath caught in your throat as panic surged through you, hot and suffocating.

“I–no–” You tried to speak, but the words were stuck in your throat. Your body started to tremble, your hands shaking as your mind screamed at you to run.

Hannah immediately noticed, stepping between you and Mark, her voice gentle but firm, “Mark, I don’t think that’s appropriate,” She glanced down at you, noticing the distress in your face, “We’re not doing this today.”

Mark shrugged, like he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation, “Right, course, but the thought counts, I guess,” He tossed the bear on the small table in front, too careless, too unconcerned.

It was too much. The room felt suffocating, the walls closing in on you. Your vision blurred, and tears welled up, hot and fast. Your body betrayed you in the worst possible way, and the burning shame flooded your chest as warmth spread through your clothes. You couldn’t stop it. You couldn’t control it. All you could do was crumble in place, the weight of it overwhelming.

Hannah was at your side in an instant, her hand warm and reassuring on your back, “Oh, sweetie, it’s okay,” She whispered, her voice gentle, but it couldn’t undo the flood of panic that had taken hold of you.

“I… I’m sorry,” You choked out, the words barely escaping your lips through the tears.

Then, Mark’s voice cut through the moment like a knife.

“Seriously, kid, are you a fucking retard or something?” He sneered, his tone laced with disgust, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Can’t even control yourself like a normal kid.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you flinched, your face burning in humiliation. Your tears came faster, the shame washed over you in waves. It felt like everything was falling apart.

Hannah stood frozen beside you, her mouth slightly open, but no words came out. Shock flickered across her face–disbelief, anger, something else–but she was too stunned to react in the moment. For a second, it seemed like it might say something, but instead, she just reached for your hand and pulled you toward the door, her grip firm yet careful.

As she reached for the handle, her gaze landed on the Chelsea bear sitting on the table. Without thinking, she scooped it up and tucked it under her arm as if it was something you’d want. 

But you didn’t. Not now. Not when it felt tainted.

The woman didn’t say anything as she led you outside, didn’t even look back at Mark, but Hannah made a mental note of it to add to the report later down the line when she came to write it–his words were there, haunting her. She would make sure to note the vile comment he made, making it known to the court that this man was not capable of ever being given custody of his daughter again.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” You mumbled again, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Hannah said softly, guiding you toward the car, “It’s going to be okay. Let’s get you home so you can clean up, alright?”

Hannah’s hand stayed firmly on your back, as if she could shield you from everything with just that touch. But as you climbed into the back seat, the dampness clinging to your clothes was unbearable, but there was nothing you could do--you had no spare clothes, no way to escape the lingering humiliation.

All you could do was sit there, staring out of the window, as the weight of it all pressed down on you.

The car ride back to Leah and Jordan’s house was silent. Not the peaceful kind of silence, but the thick, suffocating kind that pressed against your ribs, making it hard to breathe.

Hannah kept glancing at you in the rearview mirror, her face etched with worry, but she didn’t push. She didn’t ask you to talk. She just drove, her hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tight.

You stared out the window, numb. Mark’s words echoed in your head, rattling around like they were trying to carve themselves into your bones.

“Seriously, kid, are you a fucking retard or something?”

Your throat felt tight. Your chest ached.

By the time Hannah had pulled into the driveway, you couldn’t get out of the car fast enough.

“Hi, my girl. How was it…” Leah’s words were cut off as you bolted past her and up the stairs.

You didn’t stop running until you were in your bedroom, the door slamming shut behind you.

Your skin burned with humiliation. The damp fabric of your clothes clung to you like a second skin, suffocating, a disgusting reminder of what had happened. You yanked at them, stripping them off as fast as you could, your fingers trembling with rage and shame.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Mark’s words cut through you, sharper than any knife.

You dug your nails into your arms, pressing hard and trying to ground yourself–an attempt to drown out his voice. But it wouldn’t stop. It wouldn’t stop.

Stop, stop, stop.

You squeezed your eyes shut, but it didn’t help. His voice–mocking, cruel–kept coming back, over and over, like a relentless wave.

“Are you a fucking retard?”

Meanwhile, in the living room, Leah and Jordan stood frozen, exchanging worried glances as the sound of your bedroom slamming echoed through the house.

Hannah exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of her neck, “Yeah… so that went about as well as you’d expected.”

Jordan folded her arms, “That bad?”

Hannah hesitated, then nodded, “She… had an accident,” She kept her voice gentle, careful, but it didn’t stop the way Leah’s brows furrowed with concern, “And Mark… he–” She sighed, shaking her head, “Well, his words weren’t exactly pleasant.”

Leah’s jaw tightened, “What did he say?”

Hannah hesitated again, but there was no way to sugarcoat it, “He called for a ‘fucking retard’ for it.”

Silence.

Jordan inhaled sharply, her grip tightening on the back of the sofa tightening until her knuckles turned white.

Leah’s entire body stiffened, something dangerous flickering behind her eyes, “He did what!?”

Hannah held up a hand, a silent plea for them to stay calm, “She’s going to be spiralling. It’s going to be tense for a bit, and I think it’d be smart to be prepared for any future visits–”

Leah’s temper snapped, cutting Hannah off, “You mean he’s getting to see her again?! After he called her such vulgar things!” Her words were sharp, loaded with unstrained anger.

“It’s not up to me to decide that, Leah,” Hannah’s shoulders tightened, her gaze dropping for a moment before meeting Leah’s, “I’ll note it in my report, but ultimately…” Her voice trailed off, the weight of the situation settling in.

“It’s the court that makes that decision,” Jordan finished her thought, her tone grim.

Leah pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaling a slow breath, “I’m going to go and talk to her,” She muttered, already turning toward the hallway.

Jordan didn’t stop her. She knew better than to get in Leah’s way when it came to you. Instead, she turned back to Hannah, voice low and controlled, “What else happened?”

“I’m not going to sugarcoat it, Jordan. He was… He was horrible to her,” Hannah admitted.

Jordan exhaled sharply, running a hand down her face as she tried to steady her anger bubbling under her skin, “That fucking bastard,” She muttered, pacing the living room.

Hannah nodded grimly, “Yeah, it was bad, Jordan,” She hesitated, her voice softening, “She was doing okay at first. I mean, she was nervous, but she was handling it. And then Mark just–” She let out a frustrated breath, “The second the accident happened, he flipped. You could see it in her face, the way she just… shut down.”

“I swear to God,” Jordan clenched her jaw, eyes dark with fury, “If the courts ever make her go back there, I’ll–”

“I know,” Hannah’s voice was gentle, but firm, “But right now, she’s here. She’s safe. And she needs you both to remember that.”

Jordan swallowed hard, forcing herself to take a deep breath, “She’s gonna spiral,” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.

Hannah nodded, “She already is.”

Jordan rubbed at her temple, “We should’ve known something like this would happen. We should’ve–”

“Stop,” Hannah placed a hand on Jordan’s arm, “You couldn’t have stopped this. You couldn’t have prevented it. All you do now is be there to help her through it.”

“Yeah,” Jordan exhaled through her nose, shoulders slumped slightly, “Yeah, you’re right,” She murmured.

“I usually am,” Hannah smirked, then sobered, “You should pack that bag for the next visit, just in case. Even if it doesn’t happen again. It’ll be good to have it to stop her going through that embarrassment again.”

Jordan sighed, nodding, “I’ll make sure it’s taken care of and ready for next time.”

Leah was furious. How could she not be? Hearing the venom in Mark’s words, knowing how deeply they cut–you–it made her blood boil. The fact he still had any access to you at all was unfathomable. She hated it. 

Every. Single. Bit of it.

Her footsteps were quiet as she ascended the stairs, but the weight of what had just happened pressed down on her like a heavy fog. The air felt thick, charged with emotions too overwhelming to name.

You were so fragile, and Mark’s words had carved through you like a blade. Leah knew that, knew the way you carried wounds that no one could see.

At the top of the stairs, Leah hesitated. A muffled scraping noise reached her ears, followed by the sound of something heavy shifting across the floor.

Her stomach dropped.

What is she doing?

Leah moved quickly, her grip tightening on the railing as she reached your door. Then came another sound–wood dragging, a soft grunt of frustration.

“Monkey?” Leah called out, worriedly as she felt her heart tighten.

Leah pushed open the door, just enough to see you struggling, your small frame straining as you tried to shift the chest of drawers across the floor. Your breathing was shallow, your movements frantic, desperate.

Leah’s pulse kicked up. Instinct took over as she stepped inside, “Hey, hey, what’re you doing?” She asked frantically, “You’re going to hurt yourself, Monkey!”

Your head snapped up, eyes wide and panicked. For a split second, you froze–a deer caught in headlights–before quickly looking away, biting your lip. You didn’t speak. Didn’t move.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, my girl,” Leah repeated her words, softening her tone, “Come on, let’s go sit down on the bed and talk, yeah?”

You didn’t listen. You clenched your fists and pushed harder, your whole body shaking with effort.

Leah’s heart clenched. She knew you were spiralling. She had seen it before, the way you tried to make yourself small, tried to block out the world. But barricading yourself in your room–was this the only way you thought you could stay safe?

Then, in one final shove, the chest of drawers teetered precariously. The furniture wobbled, tilting at a dangerous angle. Leah’s heart lurched.

“Monkey, no!” Leah lunged forward, her reflexes kicking in and she reached and caught it before it could fall on top of you. Her hands gripped the edge, holding it steady, and for a brief moment, everything felt like it was frozen in place.

You stared up at her, your breathing coming in shallow gasps, eyes wide with something Leah couldn’t quite name–fear, shock, something deeper.

Then, like a switch had flipped, you whimpered and scrambled backwards, retreating into the farthest corner of the room.

You curled into yourself, knees drawn to your chest, hands shaking as they flew over your head, “I… I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

Leah’s heart clenched.

“Hey,” She crouched down in front of you, slow and careful. She knew better than to move quickly, knew that right now, any wrong step could send you further into yourself, “It’s okay. You’re alright. Lucky I came in here just in time, eh?” She asked in a gentle tone of voice.

But the moment that Leah lowered herself, you let out an ear-piercing scream, raw and filled with something that Leah could only describe as terror.

Leah winced at the sheer volume, barely processing the frantic footsteps pounding up the stairs before Jordan’s panicked voice rang out, “Le?! What’s going on?!”

“Easy, Jord,” Leah called back, keeping her focus on you.

Jordan appeared in the doorway, her face tight with concern, “Are you alright?”

Leah didn’t move, she didn’t break her gaze from you, “I’m fine. Monkey is… she just needs a minute. It’s fine, Jord. Just go back downstairs. I can handle it.”

Jordan hesitated, “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” Leah’s voice was steady, controlled, “Why don’t you start on dinner? We’ll be down soon.”

Jordan still didn’t look convinced, but after a long pause, she relented, “Okay. Just.. call me if you need anything.”

“I will,” Leah murmured in agreement, turning to face her girlfriend, “Pop the nuggets and smiley faces in and we will be down in a bit, yeah?”

Once Jordan disappeared, Leah turned back to you–still curled up in the corner, still trembling.

Leah exhaled slowly, making herself as non-threatening as possible, “It’s okay, my girl. I know you’re scared. You’re safe here. I promise.”

She didn’t reach for you. She just stayed there, patient and waiting.

Because she wasn’t going anywhere.

And neither were you.

Leah lowered herself onto the floor, careful and deliberate, but not too close. Just near enough that you could feel her presence without it overwhelming you. She sat cross-legged, hands resting loosely on her knees, making no move to touch you or close the space between you.

You stayed where you were–huddled in the farthest corner, knees drawn to your chest, eyes flitting between her and the door like a trapped animal searching for an escape.

Leah didn’t push. She didn’t call your name again or try to coax you out of your fear. She just sat. Quiet. Waiting.

Minutes passed, stretching endlessly, the only sounds in the room were your shaky breaths and the faint creak of the house settling.

Your fingers twitched against the fabric of your sleeves, fists clenching and unclenching. The panic hadn’t fully faded, but the longer Leah stayed–unmoving, unwavering, safe–the more the sharp edges of it dulled.

Your breathing was still too quick, too shallow, but your muscles ached from holding yourself so tight. The weight of the exhaustion pressed down on you, creeping in slowly, making it harder and harder to stay curled up so small.

You shifted–just barely. Your toes inched forward, the tiniest movement but Leah noticed. She didn’t react. Didn’t even glance up. She just kept sitting there, steady as ever, as if she had all the time in the world.

A few more seconds passed. Then another tiny shift.

Another.

And another.

You weren’t even aware of how it happened, how little by little, you edged forward, drawn in by the quiet safety of her presence.

Then, finally–hesitantly–you reached out. Your fingers ghosted over the fabric of Leah’s hoodie, barely touching, like you were testing if she was really there.

Leah still didn’t move.

Didn’t speak.

She just let you come to her.

Your breathing hitched as you closed the last bit of space between you, uncertainty flickering in your eyes. But when Leah still didn’t do anything, when she just stayed solid and quiet and safe, you finally let go.

Wordlessly, you climbed into her lap.

Your body was stiff at first, curled in tight like you were bracing for something, but Leah just adjusted slightly to give you all the space you needed to settle.

And then–without a word–she wrapped her arms around you.

Soft. Steady. Warm.

She didn’t say anything. Didn’t shush you or tell you it was okay. She just held you in her arms.

Leah’s hands moved in slow, absentminded strokes over your back, grounding you with nothing more than the steady rhythm of her touch.

You let out a tiny, shaky breath against her shoulder, your body slowly unwinding from its tightly coiled state.

Leah still didn’t speak. Didn’t ask for the words you couldn’t give. She just sat there, holding you, until the fear wasn’t quite so sharp.

Until the tension melted away, leaving only the quiet, unspoken comfort of her arms around you.

And for the first time since the call with Mark, you felt safe.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[sweetbans29]

Sweetbans Masterlist 💛

Hi lovelies! Here is a place where you can see all of my writings (Little Miss Queen of Imagine Domesticity). I hope you enjoy!

Requests are currently CLOSED! Read more about requests! Please make sure to read the link above before sending in requests. I am averaging about 2 requests per week and will do my best to complete any request coming in. On that note, thank you for trusting me with your ideas, I truly appreciate it 🥹

Caitlin Clark 🤍

Hey You - A history worth revisiting

Hey You (PART 2) - A future worth fighting for

Be Here - 3 times you pull Caitlin out of her head

Now's Not the Time - 4 times you rile her up

Mia Bella - You and Caitlin meet at the dog park

Not Now - 4 times Caitlin riles you up

Greece - You go on a holiday to Greece

Spoken For - Your marriage with Caitlin comes to light

Should Have Been Me - Things will never be the same

Power Couple - You and Caitlin are known as the power couple

Eyes on You - You catch Caitlin's eye during a game

Friendship Bracelet - Meeting Caitlin at a TSwift concert

Come On Now - Caitlin being super proud of you

Crush - Caitlin has a crush on you

Sleepy - 3 times Caitlin falls asleep

That’s Mine - You don’t like when people take what’s yours

Little Ones - When talk becomes reality (baby edition)

Challenge Me (Spoken For part 2) - Your teams meet as UConn takes on Iowa

Match Me - Caitlin and you are known for your game day fits

Protector - 3 times Caitlin is overprotective

It’s Not You, It’s Them - Where you hide your parents from Caitlin

Long Way Home - Miscommunication leads to unnecessary heartache

Power Couple Part 2 - You and Caitlin take the Olympics

Feud - You and Caitlin navigate a long standing media feud

Mic'd - You forget you are mic's during practice

Out - You and Caitlin compliment each other well

Mistakes - They were made

Catch Me If You Can - Caitlin cracks your code

Bowling - Date night

Jersey - Caitlin’s game jersey belongs to you

Thinking of You - It’s all about timing

Train with me - Meeting Caitlin at the gym

Exposed - 3 times your relationship was almost exposed

Frustrated - Caitlin is frustrated

Rules - You have one rule

Little Flirt - Flirting goes on for way too long

Milkshakes - Prequel to Should Have Been Me

Biggest Fan - You are the Fever’s best fan

Varsity Jacket - You forget your jacket

Support - You are an advocate for CC

Long Way Home Pt. 2 - The after

Playbook - AKA your dad is your wingman

Wait for Me - HC of CC during pregnancy

Overprotective - She’s overprotective

Photograph - She loves the way you photograph her

You’re Mine - Jealous Caitlin

Hesitation Series - Slow is okay when it’s more than just you

Tiny Dancer - You dedicate your senior project to her

Capture This - Caitlin sees you in her future

Marked - Caitlin loves to leave marks

Pups - You’re Caitlin’s neighbor

Unmarked - Marked Pt 2

Flight - You hate flying

Stress Ball - Taking care of a stressed CC

Meatball - Photography AU

Back to You Series - Does your love really outweigh the pain?

Silly Goose: Towels - Caitlin loves those Gatorade towels

Brother's Best Friend - You are Blake's best friend

Silly Goose: Zoomies - Cait with the zoomies

Risk - Caitlin is enamored

Let me Help You - You are the first to help me

You’ve Lost Me - You were no longer the priority

Silly Goose: Over-exaggerating - Dramatic CC

Paige Bueckers 💙

Teach Me (COMPLETED) - You ask Paige to teach you all you need to know about being intimate

The Ask

The Art of Kissing

The Art of Teasing

The Art of Practice

The Art of Touching

The Tragedy of Conflict

The Art of Confessing

The Art of You

Injured - You get hurt and Paige is there for you

Private - You and Paige try to keep to yourselves

Child - Mom Paige

Kate Martin 💛

Mascot - Kate has it down bad for the school mascot

Down Low - Dating Kate

[lotuzies]

VAMPIRE REALITY 𖥔 pinterest tour

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺ hello! you were just now invited to come and take a look into the reality where blood tainted fangs are more than just a myth. where one's biggest nightmare is another's purest love.

note: this is much better viewed in light mode

── .✦ overview :

O1. louise 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⊹ let's start with the basics, the star of the show — me! louise virelli-sanguis, daughter of lord lucien & lady seraphina of valora. my enchanting, almost hypnotic beauty is enough to strike through anyone's heart. now, talking about the actual face claim (@/lavbackpack on ig), she was the perfect choice! we are actually quite similar in terms of our features, so i felt like it wasn't too big of a change.

O2. boyf 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⊹ ultimate heartthrob, park sunghoon, the famous figure skater of the human kind. we met at a festival held in virethia, my birthplace, where the bond and harmony between vampires and humans is celebrated. he was wandering around, presumably lost, until he stumbled into me. love at first sight never felt so real, so right.

O3. poki 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⊹ my child. pets are common between vampires, such as black cats, owls or even bats. most black cats living in virethia are the ones neglected in the human world, that's why they're most of the feline population here. poki, the one gifted to me around 150 years ago, has been my trusted companion ever since.

O4. closet 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⊹ obviously, i am entitled to the best (and biggest) selection of clothes. cutesy outfits in dark color schemes for casual outings, grand show-stopper beautiful dresses for important ceremonies or parties, silk pajamas for a feather-like sleep and statement accessories for some spice.

O5. weapons 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⊹ some of the vampiric population volunteers to go on certain missions on the other side to ensure virethia's safety (and wealth). due majorly to boredom and lots of convincing from my friends, i decided to join this group of people. obviously, i don't own all of those weapons — as i prefer scythes and sickles — but the pictures are an illustration of the most commonly used ones by my teammates.

O6. belongings 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⊹ things one would definitely find if spent enough time rummaging through my bedroom. lots of make up, books and my diary, fuzzy stuffed animals, accessories, candles, perfume bottles... all things you'd expect a cliché teenage girl to own.

O7. valora 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⊹ valora, the land ruled by house sanguis is, for me, synonym of home. the most populated town, city of innovation, where the founders of virethia once resided. it's a gleaming city, really, bustling markets, massive factories, the oldest of monumental structures and wonderful workshops where revolutionary ideas come to life. think something close to... dark london streets.

O8. elysium 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⊹ the true beauty of virethia is the foundation of elysium, land ruled by house caelum. elymians are known to value art in its every form, such as painting, sculpting, philosophy, etc. ethereal gardens, opulent palaces, art galleries and libraries here and there, all places any artist could gather inspiration from. very similar to the streets of rome.

O9. noctis 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⊹ the eery land of noctis, ruled by house mortis, also popularly known as "the scary ones". full of secrecy involving everything about dark and sometimes forbidden magic, it's landscapes are the closest to what humans mostly assume as the place vampires would live — towering black spires, haunted forests and shadowy lakes accentuated with a thick and misty atmosphere.

── .✦ final notes : i love love loooove this reality with all my heart!!! and even though it was a pain in the ass having to use my laptop to make this post (stupid photo limit), i still really enjoyed this whole process. let me know if u want me to make my pinterest boards public if u need inspo/visuals for a similar dr (this is still a wip tho, i'll def add more pins and sections in the future). anyways, thank u if u reached this far! byebye & go shift ! ><

[roquebr]

The Fury

Barcelona femeni x reader

Aitana Bonmáti x reader

Summary: When all seems lost, a turnaround can be more impressive.

The rocking of the bus gives me a slight feeling of relaxation, my headphones placed carelessly in my ears, with the sound at the highest volume, hoping to hide the prevailing noise of the place.

The youngest girls on the team are very excited about today's game, it's no surprise that we are heading towards the first leg of the Champions League semi-final, simply the biggest European championship. So it's not surprising when some of them are sitting on their benches with greater concentration than the other side, which is a mess.

Everyone has their own way of preparing, mine being to ignore everyone around me as much as possible until we get to the changing rooms, music being my escape point, I always turn to Brazilian music to be my company during these moments, it's a way of feel close to home.

— Meto o chapéu na cabeça ela perde a cabeça e me fala assim... – When the song approaches the chorus, I feel a nudge on my shoulders, I pause the song and look at the intruder who disturbed me and then I relax, yeah Alexia, she knows about my pre-game ritual and I know she wouldn't disturb me for nothing.

—Hey Ale, allright?

— Yes, sorry to bother you, but we've already arrived at the stadium and the girls are already coming down.

— I lost track, I'm going too, I'm just going to get my things — I give a small smile, thanking him for his kindness.

— I see you're a little out of tune, is everything okay? – He places one of his free hands on my shoulder, with the other holding his belongings. I don't know how she manages to balance everything like that, if it were me, my cell phone would definitely be broken on the floor by now.

— Yes, I'm just concentrating on the game, you know how it is, right?

— I understand, but if you need anything you can talk to me. – I don't answer, stopping myself from just returning a kind look.

We continued walking towards the changing rooms, greeting the workers as I passed.

I know that this nervousness is not just because of the game, but because of the desire to show more than my best on the field, having arrived at the club just under a year ago, coming straight as a standout on the Ferroviária, I knew that from the beginning I had to show more than I expected.

I've had a strong presence in many of the 37 unbeaten games played so far, I've been a regular starter, but apparently I'm not good enough to start today.

As soon as Jona announced who would start before we got on the bus, my spirits immediately dropped, I know he decided the lineup thinking about preserving some prominent athletes for possible future changes of keys, but that doesn't negate my feeling of incompetence to start on the bench.

We arrive at the locker room and I immediately head to my cubicle, my headphones that have been stored for a long time no longer deprive me of Rosalía's loud voice that emanates from the absurdly loud speaker in my ears.

I change calmly, but I decide not to wear socks or football boots for now, I'm going to interpret this as a protest for being on the bench today, a bit childish I know.

I sigh and lean my head against the wall, where my game t-shirt used to hang, I watch my happy teammates as they transform and sway to the beat of the music.

I saw my girlfriend of 1 year, we met in October 2022 at Ballon D'or, I went to the event as Marta's guest after telling her in a free conversation that I would like to have the experience of going.

We talked for just over a month and soon we were dating, excited, right, but the feeling was intense and it happened, at first it was difficult because of the distance because I was in Brazil and she was in Spain, but we got through it together, whenever I could I went to visit her. there. Unfortunately, she never managed to go to Brazil, but I will resolve that during our next “vacation”.

Jona arrives in the locker room and starts his usual motivational talk, honestly I don't feel like listening to anything, with my mind confused I just focus on going to the bench.

Sit next to Alexia with Lucy on the other side, the traditional song of the champions plays bringing a smile to my face, regardless of my wounded pride, every time this anthem plays I can't help but get emotional, it's a dream that becomes childhood reality.

The first half of the game was somewhat disappointing, Barça put pressure on Chelsea's marking but unfortunately the defense did not give in, in the 39th minute came the beginning of our fall, taking advantage of a passing error from Irene that gave Chelsea close possession of the ball. to the area, making a respectable exchange of passes until he found a partner in the area, he deceived Keira's marking and passed to Cuthbert who wasted no time in scoring. We came out at half-time with 1-0 to Chelsea.

The atmosphere in the dressing room is very different to when we arrived, the totally dead Barcelona vibe contradicts the emotion I normally feel, word after word, motivation after motivation, all falling on my deaf ears as each teammate seemed focused on acquiring each lyric. said by him.

With a wave of his hand, Jona takes me aside to talk.

— YN, where are your boots?

— It's in the bank, Jona.

He sighs lightly in annoyance, the stress in his shoulders is visible.

— Look, I know you're disappointed that I didn't start today, but please put your boots on, I'll be with you on the field in about 10 minutes.

— Great Jona, I'll put it on.

Returning to the second half, a little more excited, I ask one of the physiotherapists there to put a bandage on my ankle, Sophia is her name, as I injured my ankle during the game I always put a bandage on it to avoid future injuries.

After Sophia finishes, I put on my socks and football boots, I kiss each shin guard before putting them on.

The second half began, Barça had difficulty getting into the game, then a penalty was awarded in our favor, we celebrated along with the cheers of the fans, this would be our chance to continue in the game.

The referee goes to the Var and immediately cancels the penalty, apparently the referee interprets that Salma's offside hinders the defender, nonsense if I may say so.

At 63 minutes Jona makes 2 substitutions, bringing Alexia and Lucy. Ingrid and Ona sit next to me, respectively tired and disappointed with their performances, I give both thighs a comforting squeeze.

I wait anxiously at the edge of my bench for a while, waiting for the moment when Jona replaces me. In the 74th minute, when Ramirez, Chelsea's striker, missed the chance to expand, my heart almost exploded. Patri managed to disrupt her position well, although he still let her to finish the shot.

— Jonas!! – He doesn’t even turn around in recognition.

— Que saco mano. – I go down towards him who was on the side of the field. — Jona, am I going in now?

— Be patient, YN, go to warm up.

A frown appears on my face, but I do as I'm told, not before kicking the water bottle nearby. My companions give me sympathetic looks, which makes me more stressed.

At 78 minutes, the assistant coach says I'm ready and Jona calls me to the sidelines next to him.

— Listen to me, we need you now in this field, are you ready for this challenge. – She pauses only to give the numbers to the fourth referee who is preparing the replacement panel. — We need to decide this game at home, with our fans who came here to watch us play, with courage and love when we enter the field. I know you are ready for this challenge, show who you are and what you came for.

I can't find words, so I just listen, shaking my head with a determined look. I take the place of Mariona, who wishes me good luck, running to my position, passing my girlfriend, blinking and returning to focus on the game.

Time: 80m

In a quick run down the wing, Frido sends it to Caro who tries to finish, the goalkeeper saves but the rebound goes straight to my side, I don't miss the opportunity and send it into the goal. I see Salma grab the ball so we can restart the game, I run back to position, jumping and calling the fans to play together.

Time: 83m

Patri intercepts the ball in midfield, passes it to Aitana who dribbles the opponent, leaving her mistaken, I ask for the ball and soon receive it. I notice that the goalkeeper's left corner is free, I prepare my leg and take a strong low shot, I see the ball roll quickly as the goalkeeper tries to launch himself too late, then you see the net ripple. We changed the course of the game, but it's still not enough.

Time: 85m

Aitana is having an impressive run taking advantage of Chelsea's neglect, a defender in front of her, with options like me on the left and Caro on the right, with Salma right behind. Aita rolls the ball to me, I take a slight touch to the right and shoot with confidence, the ball takes a threatening curve and soon falls into the net, surprising the goalkeeper.

Now I allow myself to celebrate, I run close to the flag post and slide down on my knees, my teammates hugging me and pulling me everywhere, the euphoria was so much that it felt like we had won the Champions League right there. I felt like crying, I scored my first hat-trick in the Champions League

Time: 88m

We receive a free kick after the Chelsea player almost grabbed Aitana trying to take the ball away from her, Salma takes the free kick which hits Lucy's head, who aims the ball towards the goalkeeper's box. She came spinning through the air, landing perfectly at my feet, I beautifully pushed her towards the goal and fell into the hug. With every second that passed the crowd became louder and louder, if possible.

Time: 90m

The gas had not passed, it was getting stronger and stronger, now with a considerable advantage, we preferred to send the team back. Keeping score is crucial for the second leg in England. Although we are currently more focused on defense, that doesn't stop us from also attacking at every opportunity. The team's confidence increased and we played calmer, making more passes and remaining calm when under pressure.

Caro has the ball on the right wing, looks up and sees the perfect opportunity to cross.

Caro's always necessary crossing makes things easier for me, I wait for her to reach the right height before jumping and sending the bike, when I fall backwards onto the grass my pain is numbed by a very loud vibration coming from the stadium.

Barely having time for anything else, I run towards the small Chelsea fans present in the stadium, stop in front of them and place both hands on my waist, with an arrogant posture, soon my teammates come to me in pure euphoria. Many compliments reach my ears, I allow myself to embrace them as much as possible before we have to return to the starting position.

9 minutes of extra time were allowed, nothing else impressive happened during this period, the 3 characteristic whistles were heard. There were many celebrations after we greeted the rival team. I head towards the referee team who hands me the ball.

Jona hugs me congratulating me on a successful game, the team soon arrives and gives me the idea of throwing myself into the air, I try to run away but I'm not fast enough, after the desperate seconds pass I run to the fans, my spirits were high today.

I ask a member of the coaching staff to hold my ball for me, while I jump into the arms of the crowd, doing my best to sign and take as many photos with everyone as possible, the only limit being the barrier.

I feel an arm go around my waist as I sign a Mapí fan t-shirt. I look to the side and see that it is Aitana, who is already looking at me with her beautiful smile on her face, her bright eyes remind me of the constellations.

I can't help but smile with her, our passionate looks betrayed our enormous passion for each other, which doesn't go unnoticed by the public, to everyone's euphoria and my poor heart, she stands on tiptoe and gives a long kiss to the my lips. , fireworks light up in my belly.

Soon the photo of that moment would be published on many pages, one of them was the official Barça account, and certainly on many fan pages that would blow up my cell phone with notifications.

But I couldn't care less, I played an impressive game and had my girl in my arms, could I ask for more than that?.

!!The inspiration for the character to score 5 goals in 10 minutes came from Lewa, when he played for Bayern he did this feat, so I thought “why not put that in the fic?”!" ... sorry for any mistakes, english is not my main language

[imthepunchlord]

WARNING SLIGHT DANDADAN SPOILERS

Nothing major, but still, just be aware I'll be talking about some minor details we have from the manga so far.

One of the biggest curiosities for me is Okarun's home life and family. As Dandadan has 175 chapters out and well, there's still nothing on his family or home life. And he's the only major lead character to just not have anything offered.

We know Momo's parents are dead and she lives with her grandma.

We know Aira lives with her father.

We know Jiji lives with his parents.

But we just got zilch on Okarun himself.

And there's just some odd and slightly concerning details I see that make me wonder if things at home are ok.

In the age of tech, Okarun has a flip phone over a smart phone. Only one so far to have a flip phone while all others have a smart phones.

Nor does he have a computer at home.

And then you have detail of him wanting to be abducted by aliens, even as a kid.

Which suggests that home isn't really a home for him, he place he doesn't like returning to. A place he'd rather leave. To literally be taken by aliens.

In contrast, the Ayase residence he happily refers to feeling like home. A place to belong and to feel happy to be.

And there are times he stays at the Ayase residence for a good few days, and there's just nothing on needing to contact family. Why, at the end of dealing with Turbo Granny's curse, when he's finally going home without needing Momo to suppress the curse, he's about to bike home without someone coming to get him.

Mindful, I could just be overthinking what his set up could be, as we just don't really have any information on what his home life and family is like. But man I just kinda wonder, is his home life ok?

So I'm curious on what a majority think.

[shigarosie]

“I’m putting you in charge of finishing the preparations of the Prince’s bedroom before his return this afternoon.” 

You gawked at Mary as she clapped one of her weathered, hard-worked hands on your shoulder and began steering you from your servant’s chamber toward the prince’s bedroom. 

“Ma’am, the male servants are in charge of the upkeep for any rooms belonging to the men of the palace,” you remind her. She presses on, guiding you at a fast pace through passageways full of busy and stressed workers. 

“Young lady, I have been working in this palace since before you were even born,” she reminds you (as she often does), “you think I do not know the protocol? You think I don’t know how to manage my workers according to the likings of our royal family?” 

“No, ma’am-” 

“I know it is not how things normally operate, but everyone’s hands are full with the Prince’s homecoming and the festival preparations and half of our staff is in the sick ward coughing up their lungs, so we all must do things we are not accustomed to doing. Including you.”

As Mary comes to a sudden halt outside one of the grand bedroom doors you had never been granted permission to enter before, you almost walk past it and her, much to her annoyance. 

“Quickly now- this room needs to be spotless, not a speck of dust hiding beneath the bed, not a smudge on the window, it needs to look as though his Highness has been gone for but a day.” 

Except that he had been away for years- five to be exact. His Highness had been away since before you joined the palace staff, so you weren’t sure where he had gone to exactly. The rest of the servants, gossipy as they were, would not say either. Just that he needed to leave home and set off with his Uncle. It was always told to you with a strange look, different depending on who you asked. Some looked uncomfortable, while others seemed to be trying to tell you more without actually saying anything. But others… others said it with such pity that you felt like a monster for trying to learn more about the Kingdom’s beloved Prince. 

“Ma’am, is that even possible?” you ask as she shoves you into the grand bedroom. “Isn’t the Prince to arrive in mere hours? How can I-”

“You’ll make it possible, if you know what’s good for you” she snaps, her brow stern as ever. She looked not unlike the gargoyles that lined the palace walls. “I’m needed elsewhere. Get to it, girl.” 

Once the door had slammed shut, you glanced around the room with wariness and nerves. The Prince’s bedroom was by far the biggest room you’d ever had to clean by yourself. And while general upkeep had been performed at times to ensure none of the furnishing would be ruined, it would still need to be scrubbed from floor to ceiling. You grumbled unladylike curses under your breath. Of course Mary would assign such an impossible task to you, knowing you would certainly fail. The woman didn’t have a bone in her body that wasn’t riddled with bitterness and hatred- especially for you. What you had done to vex her, you weren’t sure. But everyone knew she held some sort of grudge against you. 

Despite knowing in the back of your mind that you would not succeed in what she asked of you, you were determined to do your absolute best. 

The room was decorated in furniture made of rich cherry wood, embellished with gilded designs of dogwoods and delphiniums. The large four poster bed was draped in a canopy of various shades of blue fabrics. There was an entire wall lined with bookcases that were overflowing with volumes of books you couldn’t read the names of, but you could tell that some of them were written in at least one other language. The fireplace had two beautiful armchairs in front of it, which sat atop the softest rug you’d ever touched. Various trinkets and nicknacks were placed thoughtfully throughout the entire room. 

And all of it was covered in dust. 

Your hands ached after the first hour of cleaning. Your fingers felt like they were locked in place around your brush as you scrubbed, never to be straightened out again. Mary came in around that point to tell you to hurry up. You were thankful you’d been facing away from the door when she said so so she couldn’t see your eyes roll. Another thirty or so minutes later you had another interruption.

“Is there any way I can help?” Anna had asked you, having snuck away from her own duties for a moment. 

“Can you delay the Prince’s arrival?” You huff.

“Mary’s telling everyone how she’ll punish you greatly if you upset the prince with an untidy room,” she says sadly. “It’s not fair. Someone should say something.” 

You sigh. Anna was sweet, but she was one of the newer servants. She was still learning the ropes. “Mary has been here longer than anyone. Good luck getting anyone on board to challenge her.” You turn around quickly, pointing a still stiff finger in her direction. “And don’t you go saying anything on my behalf and getting yourself in trouble. I’ll be fine. I’m used to it.” 

After she left you took a look around the room and sighed. All that was left was to scrub the walls and floors. You’d be cutting it close, but perhaps you could finish in time and actually get to eat your dinner tonight. 

Your knees were red and rubbed raw from kneeling on the wooden floors. You wouldn’t be done in time. 

You sighed, rubbing your arm across your sweaty brow. You weren’t sure how long you’d been at it, but the floors were much worse than you initially thought. It turned out that they were a completely different color than they appeared before you started. No one had taken the time to properly wash them, only swept on occasion. 

You heard the door open behind you. It wasn’t Mary if the more gentle sounding footsteps were anything to go by. She must have sent someone to check on you for her, to rush you or warn you of your punishment. 

“Please remind Mary that I can either do the damn job quickly or I can do it well, I can not do-” As you turn around, your anger dissipates and reforms as fear. “Both.” 

A man stands at the doorway of the bedroom, dressed in a blue tunic embellished with intricately detailed gold embroidery, a nice traveling cloak, and the cleanest boots you’d ever seen. His golden locks perfectly resembled old portraits of the King in his youth, before his hair had darkened and began to gray, but his eyes were brown like the Queen. 

“My apologies,” he says, a twinge of amusement appearing at the corner of his mouth as it flickered up so slightly. “I was told that my room was ready and waiting for me, but it seems I have been misinformed.” 

Still kneeling, you turn your body to face him fully and bow forward, pressing your forehead to the patch of still grimy floors you had yet to clean. “I’m so deeply sorry, My Prince,” you rush. “I was not aware you had already made your return and I-”

He steps closer, taking a knee in front of you. You feel a soft, gentle hand brush against your jaw before you find your face being lifted by someone else’s doing. The Prince cupped your face, grinned, and seemingly studied your features. 

“It is alright,” he tells you. “You’re doing your job. Like you said, you can do it quickly or well. I appreciate that you chose to do it well.” 

You stare at him in amazement- with everyone so determined to speak little of the Prince, you hadn’t known what to expect of him. But even when you imagined a reality where he was a kind man, this was nowhere near what you were experiencing. 

His hand pulls away and he stands, returning to the doorway. “Do not rush yourself,” he tells you. “I’ve been away from home for five and a half years; there is plenty for me to reacquaint myself with until my room is truly ready for me. My mother’s gardens, perhaps. I believe the delphiniums should have begun to bloom by now.” He nods his head to you in farewell and takes his leave, softly closing the door behind him. 

For several minutes you stared at it, unsure of what to do. You had met the Prince. He had spoken to you, touched your dirty skin with his clean and royal hand. Your jaw fell open. You had sworn at him. 

Mary would punish you severely tonight.

At dinner, of course, the topic of conversation up and down the long table the servants dined at together was the homecoming of the Prince. Some loudly expressed their joy and excitement at his return while others had hushed conversations below the racket with that same pitying look on their faces. You spoke only to Anna, telling her of your unexpected meeting with him. 

“Oh my!” You hush her to a near silent volume. “And he was kind?” 

“He was…” you couldn’t think of another word for it. “Lovely. But I fear what will happen to me when Mary-”

The door to the kitchens slams open, and in walks the woman in question. Her eyes are set upon you and you swear you see flames where her irises once were. The whole room slowly trickles into silence as she walks determinedly toward the table- toward you- gripping a paper in her hand that bore the royal seal. She holds it up to you. You can tell that the handwriting is neat and the signature fancy. 

“Do you see what this says?” Mary glowers at you. 

“I can not read, ma’am.” 

Down the table you hear a few hardly repressed snickers. Anna grips your arm tightly from your side. She knows what it says, you can tell. You’re positive you’re about to be thrown out of the palace for your behavior. You’ll have to find work elsewhere, though there are rarely any jobs in the village that provide a place to sleep and keep out of the night air. Perhaps if you found a stable to work at, you could sleep in the hay with the horses.

“You have been asked to join Prince Leander for tea tomorrow,” she says lowly. “Personally.”

[madhels-enby-boyfriend]

Back To Before

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Robyn (the roommate) x reader

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, mentions of smoking weed, mentions of regular smoking, mentions of past smut and I think that’s it

Tags: Ansgt, so much angst, hurt/no comfort (the comfort will be here eventually… just not yet…), a few explanations to previous unanswered questions, so much flawed logic, Sharon being Sharon

Summary: Robyn didn’t want to leave, but she had no choice, she had to keep you safe.

Notes: The next chapter may take a while because life is busy at the moment. But so many of you asked for the next chapter, and I couldn’t keep y’all waiting any longer.

The biggest thank you to @imorynn, whose comments continue to make my days and inspire me to continue writing 🙂‍↕️🫂💕

Words: ~3.9K

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

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Chapter 2: ‘A princess asleep and enchanted’

Robyn’s fingers traced the blue velvet box, tears welling up in her eyes as she stared at the ring inside, it was the last item she needed to pack away, the last item that still tied her to you, the only reminder of you she would take with her. She knew you would have loved the ring, once upon a time she had spent weeks looking for the perfect one… that was before… before her world had come crashing down. She had often imagined your reaction to her proposal, how you might tear up, the look of disbelief that might flicker in those beautiful eyes of yours, the way she hoped you would say yes and jump into her arms.

A couple of tears made their way past her defenses, she angrily closed the box before carefully placing it in her suitcase. She had thought about stealing one of your oversized shirts, so she could take it with her, have something of yours to wear when she slept, but in the end she had decided against it, it would only make things more difficult for herself.

Robyn inhaled a shaky breath as she looked around the apartment one last time, taking in every single detail, storing away the memories those details brought to the forefront of her mind, so she could replay them later. She forced herself out of the door, everything but her suitcase had already been waiting for her in her car.

Never in her life had she hurried like that, throwing every little thing that belonged to her in a cardboard box, packing her suitcase in record time and cramming it all in her car. She had no choice, she needed to be gone before you came back home, which could be any time now.

As she placed her suitcase in the trunk she saw the clay figures she had asked you to find. She had to admit she felt guilty for sending you on an impossible mission, but she had to make sure you would stay away as long as possible, and knowing you, you would spend ages searching, not wanting to return to Robyn empty handed.

A sob forced its way past her lips, her resolve nearly faltered, she almost decided to stay, to unpack her car and carry everything back upstairs, but she couldn’t, she loved you, she loved you so much that it almost scared her. Her devotion to you knew no limits, she would do anything for you, and she really did mean anything, no matter how much it hurt her… no matter how much she knew it would hurt you.

She had to protect you, protect you from her past finally catching up to her and coming back to haunt the both of you, protect you from the consequences of your actions in the present. Robyn had lost count of the many different fake driver licenses she had owned and the many different identities she had held. She had outran the cops many times, while hiding in plain sight. She had never been caught, managing to outsmart them every time.

But they were getting dangerously close to her and her luck was bound to run out some time, more importantly they were getting close to you, far too close for her liking. One of her connections had come to her, and had told her that the cops had started to link some of her schemes to her. And now they were looking for her accomplice, and according to him they were getting dangerously close to figuring out it was you, so she had decided to leave, to make sure they never knew your name, to keep you safe, to protect you from it all.

Robyn could handle facing the consequences of her actions, she knew the dangers before she had started her little schemes, but what she couldn’t handle was the thought of you behind bars, your future thrown away just like that, no, that would be unbearable. So she had made her choice and now it was time to follow through.

She wasn’t proud of the way she was leaving, without a word, without an explanation, she couldn’t imagine the hurt you would feel once you came home. A sudden wave of nausea hit her when she thought of your face as you walked into the apartment, anything that had ever belonged to Robyn gone, along with Robyn herself. Another sob broke free and for a second time she nearly faltered, ran back in, told herself she could find a different way to solve this problem. But then the rational part of her brain kicked in and she knew it was too risky, and she wasn’t willing to jeopardise your safety and future like that.

Robyn knew this was the only way she could protect you. She knew that if she told you she was leaving you to protect you, to ensure that you had a future, you would protest, she could already picture it. The way you’d square your shoulders, take her hands in yours and tell her that you could find a way out of this together, that a future without her wasn’t a future you wanted, or something sappy like that. She knew you well enough to know that you’d beg her to stay, and she knew herself well enough to know she would fold after the first plea left your lips.

So she had to vanish, like a thief in the night, disappear without a word, without a note, for your own good, she repeatedly told herself, as she stepped into the car with a heavy heart, the nausea intensifying as she turned on the engine and drove away. She looked into the rearview mirror one last time, catching a glimpse of your building, before trying her best to focus on the road ahead, her unshed tears blurring her vision.

Her mind didn’t stand still for the entire drive, replaying the last day she had spent with you over and over again. She didn’t fight it, her memory was the only place she could be close to you now, so she let it overtake her, consume her fully, as she drove further away from you.

She had awoken before you, like she often did, her heart ached as she looked down at you in her arms, sleeping soundly, so blissfully unaware of the ache settling in her chest. She memorised every little detail she could, the way your face looked so relaxed when you slept, the way your hair was still a mess from last night’s activities, the way your hands clung to her waist as if she were your only anchor to this world, the hickeys that adorned your skin, some new, some fading. A pang of guilt surged through her chest, perhaps she shouldn’t have left new ones… they’d serve as painful reminders of her absence later.

Robyn reluctantly got up to make coffee, she knew she had to act like she would every other day, despite wanting nothing more than to spend the rest of the day cuddled up to you in bed, memorising every little detail about you, how you feel, how you taste, what you look like when she holds you. But she couldn’t risk you getting suspicious, wondering why she was acting differently all of a sudden… no this had to be just like every other day if she wanted to successfully keep you safe.

So she made you coffee for the last time ever, acting like she would get to do this a hundred times more, a deep ache settling into her heart as she fought the urge to let her kiss linger when she woke you up. She fought the urge to memorise your sleepy face as you clung onto the cup of coffee like it was your lifeline. She had to hold back randomly telling you how much she loved you, how you had made her life so much better, her voice would surely betray her.

Robyn played the same music she usually would when you began preparing breakfast, she acted the same as she usually would, singing along, teasing you, stealing kisses, when in reality she just wanted to sit down and watch you, store away every little detail she could, so she could later replay it in her head with perfect accuracy.

She had had to hold back a sad chuckle when both of you had ended up on the couch once more, it had almost become a ritual at this point. Every day off you would drag her to the couch, plop down, put your head in her lap, and you would just enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes you’d ramble about your dreams or your future plans, other times you’d just silently admire her, more often than not these moments ended with someone’s face between the other ones thighs.

She had played with your hair just the way you liked it, hoping to commit every content sound you made to memory, without giving anything away. She watched you get lost in thoughts as you studied her face, your thoughts clearly taking a hornier turn as your pupils began to dilate.

It was time, she knew she needed to act now or she wouldn’t leave, you’d start sweet talking her or you’d drag her to the bedroom and she’d be unable to resist you, she never could. So she cleared her throat and began to speak the words she had rehearsed in her head. The conversation went exactly how she thought it would, which caused the dagger that she had planted in her own chest to be twisted once more, as it was a reminder of how well she knew you, of how you had become a part of her, which she was now ripping out and leaving behind.

“I love you” maybe it had been cruel to make those her last words to you, but they had been the only truthful ones in that conversation and she couldn’t bear to have the last thing she ever said to you be a lie.

The drive would take over 16 hours, if you had been there she might have tried to drive the whole way in one go, but you weren’t… you’d never sit in her passenger seat again. Robyn’s mind continued to drift to you, so she decided to stop in some random motel, about halfway through.

It was dark when she finally walked into the motel room, you would have made her go outside to look at the stars together, and she would have compared your beauty to the ethereal beauty of the moon. Robyn closed the blinds, blocking any light from the stars and moon, they had lost their meaning, they were nothing but painful reminders of what she had left behind. She could go back, step in the car right now and drive for 10 hours straight, go back home to you. She could end this torture right now, it had been crafted by her own hands after all.

But could she really claim she loved you if she put your life and future in constant danger, purely for selfish reasons? You would risk it all for her, she knew you would, but she couldn’t let you, she loved you too much. So she would handle it, she would bear this pain, would carry around this dagger in her chest for the rest of her life, because it meant you got to be safe, and that was more important to her than anything else.

A nasty little voice asked her if it was more important than your happiness, if she was right in taking away the choice from you? But she told herself you’d get over it, you’d find happiness again, you would move on from her. You would probably hate her for the rest of your life, that thought was like a kick to the chest, pushing the dagger deeper, knocking the wind out of her. Not that she could blame you after what she had done, leaving just like that, with no reason, no explanation… she could only imagine the pain you were going through right now.

But maybe this was better, staying blissfully ignorant, being able to put the entire blame on her, being able to freely hate Robyn for her despicable actions, it might make moving on easier, or that’s what she hoped…for you.

She couldn’t help but wonder what you were doing right now, how you were feeling, if you were cursing her name or begging her to come back. She had no idea how you would react to her absence, she had thought of many different possible scenarios, but you had never had to deal with her absence before, so she had no point of reference.

Curiosity got the better of her and she turned on her phone. She had turned it off before leaving, not wanting to be tempted to check it while she drove, knowing it would take one or two pleading messages for her to turn the car around and drive back home. She knew this was a bad idea, her resolve was already wavering, but not knowing was eating her alive, so she read every single message you had left and listened to every single voice mail. A sob escaped her lips when she heard your voice, you sounded so scared, so hurt, so confused as you begged her to come home, to give you a chance to make everything right. She wanted to reach out through the phone and comfort you, hold you close and tell you this was for the best.

Robyn wanted to save every single voice mail, give herself something to listen to when she needed to hear your voice, even though you sounded heartbroken in every single one, it would still be better than not hearing your voice at all and slowly forgetting what you sound like. But when she found herself getting up and grabbing her keys as she read your pleading messages, begging her to come back, to give an explanation, questioning her if she still loved you, if she had ever loved you, she knew she had to delete them and had to block your number.

It took every ounce of self control to put down her keys, lay back down on the bed and block your number. The last message she received was you telling her you loved her and wanted her to come home, even if it was just for one night, so you could say goodbye. You had no idea how badly she wanted to, and you would never find out, she would make sure of that.

Because if she needed to make you hate her so you could move on and be safe, then she would. She would be the bad guy, the villain, as long as you were protected, it didn’t matter. The fact that her heart clenched at the thought of you hating her, despising her, never wanting to see her again, was irrelevant, as long as you could be happy, as long as you had a future.

Robyn tossed and turned the entire night, she hadn’t slept alone in such a long time, she was used to either having you in her arms, or having your arms around her, this felt wrong… was wrong. When sleep did finally claim her, it wasn’t restful. Your broken voice haunted her dreams, along with your beautiful face, contorted by the pain that she had inflicted upon you. That pain slowly turned into anger and then hatred, your eyes no longer holding that spark, growing colder the longer the dreams went on.

When she finally arrived in Iowa City, she was utterly exhausted, her mind hadn’t stopped reeling, as she recalled the way you had so happily said ‘I love you too’, the eagerness with which you had left, the promise of being rewarded for your efforts clearly motivating you, the way your lips had felt against hers, one last time. The ache in her chest had grown steadily, the further she drove away from home, the more her heart bled.

Sharon had welcomed her, helped her unload the car, and started some small talk. She was kind and clearly wanted Robyn to feel welcome, and Robyn had tried her best to answer with the same gentleness, but her heart felt raw and empty, and her body begged her to lay down and rest.

The weeks passed by excruciatingly slowly, she was far too aware of every moment, nothing seemed to be able to give her any escape, any relief from the constant ache in her chest. She had started smoking twice as much, you would undoubtedly scold her for it, it brought her no solace though. She once got high with Sharon, hoping to quiet her mind that way, and though the entire affair had been quite funny, it had only highlighted your missing presence. You should have been there, laughing with her, sharing stories with her, being horrified at Sharon’s weird music, and dancing with her to her own.

Everything reminded her of you, every night her mind brought up every memory it could get its hands on, twisting the dagger as she relived them in her dreams, only to wake up in an empty bed, without you by her side.

Some days Robyn welcomed these memories, getting to be in your arms again, hearing you say her name again, being enveloped in your scent once more. Those days she would relish in the ache you left behind, it was the last thing that connected her to you and for that she cherished it, let it consume her whole as she let time crawl by, second by second.

Other days it was too much, too excruciating to know that she would never get to experience any of those things again, she would never be the reason for your laugh again, she wouldn’t get to kiss your soft lips ever again, and she would never see your cheeks flush again. She spent those days trying any and everything to pass the time, hoping it would speed up, but it only seemed to slow down even more.

It was on one of those days that Sharon had found out about her being a conwoman, and no matter how hard Robyn tried, Sharon wouldn’t drop the subject, she insisted she could help her scam people. So Robyn had reluctantly agreed to pull off a scam or two with her, hoping it would take her mind off of you, hoping time might stop feeling like her personal enemy, slowing down just to torture her.

She had to admit it had been nice for a short while, getting to see Sharon, who by now had become her friend, finally let loose, finally let herself have fun. But it was a poor substitute for the cons you pulled off with her, although they were friends, Sharon didn’t understand her in the way you did, she couldn’t read her the way you could. It became a painful reminder of what she had left behind, of who she had abandoned, of the ring upstairs that she would never get to place on your finger.

Yet the cons continued, for Sharon they were a way to reclaim her life, for Robyn a way to try and deal with the open wound in her chest… or well if she was honest, a way to make that wound worse, partly because she felt like she deserved it after hurting you, and partly because the ache connected her to you. She was terrified of the ache lessening, even just a little, fearing it would get rid of the last thing that tied her to you, she couldn’t bear that thought.

One evening Sharon and her were preparing one of their newest scams when a knock on the door halted their conversation. Robyn’s heart skipped a beat, no one visited Sharon this late. Had her cons finally caught up to her? Would this be proof that she had done the right thing by leaving you? Robyn’s mind was racing, she barely registered Sharon opening the door. When Sharon didn’t immediately invite the mystery person at the door inside, Robyn raised her voice and asked Sharon who was at the door.

“Someone who’s looking for you!”

Her cheerful voice rang through the house and Robyn’s heart dropped, that definitely didn’t sound good. Sharon probably didn’t realise what was happening, she did tend to be a bit naive and too trusting sometimes. She walked over to the door, they already knew she was there now anyway, there was no point in delaying the inevitable, perhaps she could bullshit her way out of this? With a bit of luck it was a newbie cop… or an easily bought one.

When her eyes landed on you her world started spinning, you shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t even know she was here… and yet she couldn’t stop the joy that spread through her when she saw your face again. That joy quickly disappeared when she saw the many emotions whirling behind your eyes, there were so many and they all flashed by so quickly, it was impossible to pinpoint them all. But there were two unmistakable feelings there, anger and sadness.

That felt like a slap to the face, you had never looked at her with such anger, such venom, as if the mere sight of her offended you. And seeing you in pain, seeing you so broken and sad, well she preferred the anger, it hurt less than knowing that she was the reason for so much agony, instead of being the solution to it.

A second slap to the face followed shortly when she heard the coldness in your voice. She had expected you to yell at her, cuss her out, or for you to start crying, sobbing, asking her how she could do this to you. She would have preferred those options, then she would have been sure that there was at least some love for her left in your heart. Now there was only agony, anger and bitterness, three emotions she rarely saw on you, and she definitely had never been the cause of them before.

Robyn couldn’t come up with a clever retort, she couldn’t come up with any words, which only seemed to annoy you even more. Having your eyes on her once more, after thinking she never would again, was overwhelming, so many emotions flooded her and she couldn’t hold any of them back, and she couldn’t hide them either. You seemed to be studying her, trying to read her, trying to figure her out, trying to find a solution to this mystery. And Robyn, Robyn was willing herself to say something, anything, whether it be sending you away or inviting you inside and begging for forgiveness, it no longer mattered, she just begged herself to say anything.

The awkward silence stretched on for what felt like forever, until Sharon cleared her throat and invited you inside, clearly confused by what the hell was going on. You didn’t look away from her as Sharon talked, as if trying to figure out what the right answer to that invitation was. Even now you still looked to Robyn for answers, which finally gave her the courage to speak up, albeit uncharacteristically weakly, her voice shaking, as she forced the words out.

“I.. did… promise you an explanation once you got back so… come inside.”

[hoe4sports]

“Take care of Clara” p1

Jessie Fleming x Reader

A/N: Mentions of car accidents and death, anxiety . P2 here.

Summary: An unplanned meeting between your daughter and Jessie ends up with your daughter as the mascot. But your daughter has anxiety, and it’s about to break lose.

“Mmm, Jess, the door” you mumbled half asleep as you and your girlfriend Jessie was snoozing in bed a lay Saturday morning. Your head was pounding from dehydration. Jessie had the weekend off, and you had decided to have a date night with a few drinks. A few being closer to 10, but that was besides the point.

*DUNK, DUNK, DUNK*

“JESSIE, the door!!” You yelled as you kicked a half asleep Jessie out of bed. It was her apartment after all, and you had only been dating for 15 months. It was a good 15 months. You had gone on a few weekend trips together doing anything from hiking to going to the beach. It was nice, it was casual which was obvious considering you had been best friends for well over 10 years. Practically growing up hand in hand until you moved away as a kid, and since the world wasn’t very online back then; you lost contact. Things had changed when you went to a friends dinner party and you had found your designated seat next to a name card that said “Jessie”. When she sat down, you couldn’t believe it. You instantly clicked as you talked all through the night, not noticing anyone else. That night you walked home together and exchanged phone numbers, immediately feeling like back in the days when you would bike around in your neighbourhood and Jessie would be giggling beside you. At first the friendship was platonic, but after a few months of talking and hanging out, you had drunkenly admitted to liking her and when she asked you about it the next morning; there was no room for refusal.

“Oh my god, hold on will ya” Jessie said under her breath as she was jumping on one leg to get her shorts on. She was about to run out to the door when you shot her a look. “Jess, look, I like your tits; they are mine and I would like it to stay that way” you said as you gestured down; she had forgotten to put on a top. She blushed to the color of a tomato and sweared under her breath as she threw on your tank top from last nights. As she walked out to sort out whatever was going on, you grabbed your phone. All out of battery, of course. Luckily Jessie had made sure to have a charger at your side of the bed so you could have access to charging whenever you needed; especially considering you would struggle with sleep from time to time. Well technically, it was her bed, but the side was also technically yours since that was where you’d sleep when you stayed over just like the right side was always her side when she was staying over at yours. You placed down your phone in exchange for the water bottle that Jessie had gotten for you after you had went to bed. The water was still somewhat cold and it felt soothing going down your sore throat. “Ehm, Y/N/N!” You heard from the front door. “This is all you babe!” You shouted back as you giggled, jumping a little when your phone was finally turning on. Her apartment, her neighbour, her issues. You suddenly stopped dead in your tracks. It was weird, you could swear that you heard a tiny voice. You shook it off and tapped in the code of your SIM card. 3-0-0-1. Then you heard the voice again, slightly concerned as you held your breath trying to figure out what was going on. “I really think this is something that you might wanna sort out, I would love to but I haven’t really met her because you wanted to make sure that we-“ Jessie rambled as you heard her footsteps closing in on the bedroom door. But she was cut off by small sobs and it struck you like lightning. You could recognise those cries a mile away, as they belonged to your daughter, Clara.

Clara was extremely shy, and was in treatment working to overcome her biggest fear before it could develop into something worse. She was only 5, but had endured enough hardship for a lifetime. The only place she didn’t feel shy was on the field with her little teammates. That was where she could let everything go and just play. You has gained guardianship over her when your sister and her husband had tragically passed away during a high speed car accident when Clara was just a baby. You had been the only motherly figure that she’d know since she was 6 months old. Your parents weren’t able to take her as they were getting older and had their own health issues, so you decided there was no other choice but to adopt her honouring your sister’s wishes. Jessie barged in and you could see the panic in her eyes. You’d probably also panic if it wasn’t for the raging headache you had going on in the background. You quickly jumped out of the bed and threw on your shorts and Jessie’s UCLA sweater before you bolted towards the door. There she was, your bestfriend with your little daughter clinging on to her leg. “Mommy” she sobbed as you reached your arms towards her while still walking towards the front door as your daughter ran into your arms clinging to you as if the world was ending. Clara wasn’t good with changes in plans, especially not when the plans was something she had looked forward to. “Hi Ella, what’s uh, sorry, why are you here again?” You asked confused as you had already planned for her and Clara to spend the weekend together while you were with Jessie. You hoisted your daughter up on your hips causing her to relax and lean into your side while placing a hand on your neck. You kissed her head as you held her tight and whispered; “Hi princess, it’s okay, mommy’s got you. You are safe.” The words causing her sobbing to soften. “Hi Y/N, I am so sorry but my brother has gotten into an accident and it’s bad so mom asked me to catch the first flight home. I tried calling you, but I could get through and you weren’t at home, so I had no option but to bring her here or take her with me to Wisconsin which I could but I don’t have her passport.” She said as she had a serious grin on her face. “Oh my god, I’m sorry for not answering. My phone was dead. It’s all good, go be with your family. Tell your mom that I’m seeing her love” you said as she nodded and handed you her little pink backpack with her pink Nike cleats in before running towards the taxi waiting to take her to the airport. You sat your daughter down in Jessie’s couch as your pulled her comfort blanket out of her bag to wrap around her before turning her favourite show on the iPad in hopes that it would distract her enough to let you pack.

Your thoughts raced in sync with your heart as you paced to the bedroom to pick up your stuff in an instant terrified of what Jessie would say. She looked terrified when she came to tell you that your daughter was there, and you knew that it wasn’t the right time. Jessie wouldn’t want to waste her weekend on a kid, let alone a kid that wasn’t hers when she only had a few limited weekends of each year. Clara was also a lot more demanding than your standard kid which meant that it was harder for others to connect with her. There was this tiny voice in your head that were trying to convince you that Jessie would think Clara was too much. This exact thing had happened before and it left both you and your daughter heartbroken when they left because Clara was too much. That day you vowed yourself to never let anyone close to your daughter again. It had worked perfectly until you met Jessie.

You grabbed your bag as you scattered around the room to find all your belongings before Jessie could come out from the en-suite. “Love, what’s going on?” A familiar voice said from behind you making you jump but immediately relax when you felt the warmth of her hands on your waist. “It’s was Ella, she had to go to Wisconsin because her brother was in an accident. So I need to take care of Clara. This has been nice and all but we shouldn’t be bothering you on your weekend off.” You mumbled as you could feel tears burning behind your eyelid while you got out of her grip to find your last missing items. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, I can pretend to be your friend if that makes it easier?” Jessie said as she pulled you into a hug and wrapped her arms around you as if she was a baby koala. “I have told you about how Clara is? She’s very shy, anxious and have big issues with talking to people. I get that she’s challenging, but she’s a good kid. I get-“ your rambling was cut off by Jessie. “If you let me, I’ll gladly spent time with the both of you today darling” she finished as you nodded and a tear rolled down your chin in relief.

“Clara?” You said carefully as you walked towards her making sure not to scare her. She looked up at you and nodded, feeling shy of the unfamiliar house around her. “Mommy, home?” She said with tears in her eyes scared of why she wasn’t home. She didn’t really feel safe in new places, let alone places you couldn’t prepare her for like the psychologist had advised you to. You sat down next to her as you tucked her long brown hair behind her ear making her little earrings show. Earrings she had begged you for since she could talk. “We are not home, that’s right. We are at Jessie’s house. Jessie is mommy’s friend.” You said as you took her into your lap while Jessie sat down next to you. “Do you wanna say hi to Jessie?” You asked as she shoved her head into your sweater and shook her head. You shot an apologetic smile to Jessie, but she mounthed “it’s okay” to you.

—

“Pass it Kiera!” Clara yelled as she ran across with the ball on the field outrunning all the other little girls. «I honestly don’t know where she gets it from, you know. She’s fast and she is very mature.” You said as your eyes watched over your daughter with the bright pink shoes and the bright pink shirt. “She’s a natural, way better than I was her age” Jessie said as she rested her hand on your thigh. In this moment, everything felt perfect. It felt like you were normal. Like any other girl with her partner and their daughter. “Hello miss Y/N, did you finally bring Clara’s mom? Gosh, they look so much alike! I could’ve spotted their bond from a mile away.” Another football mom exclaimed as she sat down. Sure, your daughter had chocolate brown hair and the same warm deep brown eyes as Jessie, but you had never considered their similarities. When you compared them, they were spitting imagine. You had blonde hair and blue eyes just like your sister, qnd none of you had anything close to athletic skills. Your little girl however? She had a gift, a talent and a drive to play. “Something like that, yes” Jessie said as you snapped out of your thoughts. You realised that you forgot to answer the other mom. Crap. Jessie squeezed your hand as you relaxed. “Well, Miss?” The mom continued. “Jessie” your girlfriend said as she smiled towards the woman. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Jessie.”

*4 months later*

You were walking along on the sidewalk with Clara in one hand as you were headed to the park to meet Jessie. She had met your daughter a bunch of times, and it was definitely a process as Clara still refused to talk to Jessie. The issue wasn’t that she didn’t like her, because she did. But she couldn’t get out a word whenever she tried. Jessie on the other hand wasn’t bothered the slightest. She’d talk to Clara, but not expected any response which was making Clara feel safe. “Look princess, it’s Jessie” you said as you pointed towards the Canadian. She looked in the direction and gripped your hand while her feet were shuffling next to you. “What’s in her hand, mom?” She said almost soundlessly as she noticed the gift in Jessie’s hand. “I don’t know, I’ll have to ask her when we get there.” A few minutes later, you were 10 steps from meeting Jessie. Jessie hunched down to be in Clara’s level as you approached. “Hi doll, I got you something!” Jessie said excitedly as Clara’s eyes widened. The box was pink and sparkling with a silver glitter bow on top. Jessie held out the box as Clara held your hand tight. “Do you want me to open the box so you can see what is inside?” Jessie continued patiently as your daughter nodded excitedly. Jessie’s hand pulled the top part of the bow towards Clara and she gestured for her to pull it. Clara’s little hand was still shaky, but she touched the bow as she pulled carefully. “Wow Clara, you are such a smart girl!” Jessie said as she removed the rest of the bow and opened the lid of the box before she held the box out in front of your daughter. Clara peeked into the box and gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand. Her face moved towards you as her eyes were sparkling. Jessie pulled out the gift revealing the tiny little Chelsea jersey with “Fleming” on the back. “See Clara, it has my last name and my number so we can match!” Jessie explained as she flipped the jersey around with a toothy grin. Clara was in awe and her eyes were lit up. It made you melt and it didn’t help when your daughter dropped your hand as she embraced Jessie into a hug. Jessie looked as surprised as you before she carefully wrapped her hand around Clara while the other hand touched her head. Clara pulled away from the hug smiling as she beamed and did a few more excited jumps. “Do you want to try it on?” Jessie asked as Clara instantly nodded. “Can I help you?” Jessie asked as bit hesitant as she feared that she had pushed her too far. Clara took a moment to make up her mind before she nodded and let go of your hand. Her arms reached out as Jessie slipped it over her head. “Maybe you can wear it when you come to see me play on Sunday?” Jessie asked as Clara’s eyes lit up. She had always talked about how she wanted to see Jessie play football on the big field, not just in your backyard. However, she made sure to only tell you. Clara’s gaze shifted towards you as she sent you her best please look without using words. “Yes Clara, we can go watch Jessie play on Sunday.” You confirmed as Clara jumped up and down once again attacking Jessie into a hug causing Jessie to lose her balance and fall to her back from the squat position she was in with Clara giggling on top of her.

*The following Sunday*

“Alright Claramell” you said as you sung her nickname. You had made it up as she loved caramels as a baby. She looked up at your from her little drawing table where she was busy drawing and colouring. “We have to put our jersey on when the timer ends” you said as you stated the timer so she could feel in control and make things easier for everyone included. “Mommy, will Jessie be there?” She asked as she looked up at your with her chocolate labrador eyes. “Yes, Jessie will definitely be there. She is gonna play, and we are gonna watch her! And if you want to, you can walk with her on the field with the other kids like we talked about. That means that you can walk out to the middle of the field with the other team and judges holding Jessie’s hand and then the teams sing. After that, you run back to the tunnel.” Clara nodded as she turned around to keep drawing again drawing as precisely as her hands would allow her. “Okay, Claramell, I’m just gonna get ready in the bathroom” you said as you pressed a kiss to her head and breathed in the balsamspray in her hair.

You got to the bathroom, and hopped in the shower. Your thoughts were quickly wandering around what would happen with Clara on the field. You had told her countless times that she didn’t have to do it, and that she could say no whenever she liked; but once she got in the field, she had to stay with Jessie. All kinds of scenarios took place in your head. The biggest worry of them all would be a full blown panic attack mid stadium in front of thousands of people not being able to get to your little girl. What would Jessie do if that were to happen? Would she leave you? Clara had yet to open up to her and hadn’t spoken a full sentence to her. The warm water washed your worries away as the damp of the water filled the room making it feel somewhat close to a tropical island. The damp hot air felt soothing in your lungs. After thinking and worrying for a bit, you hopped out and dried yourself off. You rummaged through your drawer and found your favourite mascara, some tinted sunscreen, a sheer lipstick and some blush from nars that you got as a teen. Lord knows that all girls has that one old makeup product that dosent compare, and you were no exception. The makeup made your face come alive before you glanced at the clock and realised that it was time. “Clara! It’s time!” You called out as your heard Clara’s little slippers tap on the floor in your direction. “Okay mommy, a bun with long hair” she said as she popped up into the sink in front of her, it was basically routine by now. She would come in and you would do her hair in whatever way she wanted it. Today was a half up half down kinda day, and you were softly brushing through her beautiful brown hair. “Mommy,Jess gonna be there?” She asked as she looked at herself in the mirror with her little feet in the sink. You nodded as you finished doing her hair. “Yes, Jessie will be there” you confirmed as her little brows furrowed. “Promise?” “Pinky promise.”

*2 hours later*

The stadium was huge compared to Clara. She had her little Fleming Jersey on, and she had insisted to wear her bracelet that she made at home a few weeks ago with pink beads. Clara’s hand tightened around yours as she stared at the stadium and the tons of people going in. She looked up at you with fear in her eyes and a stressed look in her little face. “Mommy, carry?” She whispered as you instantly popped her up in your hip wanting to hold her until she refused to be held anymore. People would always scold you for carrying her, but your sister would’ve carried her until she physically couldn’t and you intended to keep her wish alive. She wasn’t gonna want to be carried until she was a teen, so you wanted to make the most of the time you had with her. You followed the instructions that Jessie had given you, finding the side entrance with guards checking id’s towards a database with invited and pre-register people only. It was fairly quick as there was a significant difference in the amount of people that were at the special entrance.

When you got through the area you followed the signs until you found a room where the mascots were waiting. Clara was intimidated by the amount of children and adults and causing her to cling to you like cling wrap. “You can always say no, and nobody will be upset Claramell” you whispered as she nodded. She had insisted on bringing her pink purse in the shape of a heart with what she said was important things. Usually that would include her fake keys, a lip balm and a snack. After a few minutes, a women came to get you leading you through the big corridors of the gigantic stadium. You were looking at all the tapestry on the walls with pictures of the players in action. “Mommy, mommy, it’s Jess” your daughter whispered as she wiggled out of your arms and bolted towards Jessie. “Is it my two favourite girls coming to see me play? How lucky am I!” Jessie said picking Clara up as she spun her around and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Clara nodded and placed her hand on Jessie’s chest for safety. You greeted Jessie as you had a wide grin on your face from seeing your daughter and your girlfriend together. Jessie held Clara tight and it relaxed you knowing that she was doing what she could to make her feel safe. “Alright, walk on in 2!” A guy with a big headset yelled out in the tunnel. Clara seemed to get somewhat startled of his sudden loud voice. Her little heart beating like crazy in her chest. “Alright, Clara, we are gonna go out there in front of all those people while you hold my hand and then we will sing. Afterwards, you can run to mommy or I can carry you there.” Jessie said as she placed Clara down. Clara nodded attentively as Jessie unzipped her team jacket that Jessie had gotten for the occasion. You bent down and kissed Clara’s cheek as she smiled back at you. You had to go to the back of the line as the players were about to enter which Clara didn’t seem to mind. Her little hand held onto Jessie’s as they both turned around to wave at you. She seems excited, and she seemed like she felt safe with Jessie. Her curious eyes were wandering around the tunnel and towards the opening of it towards the cameras. The loud league music started on the field and the referees started walking on followed by the lot of the players in two lines. Just before Jessie and Clara was supposed to move out, Clara stalled. You could see Clara tensing up. Her little shoulders rising towards her ears. Her head turned towards you and you saw her eyes becoming glassy. Her lip was going from a pout to a wobble. Her eyebrows furrowed in a tense frown. Her chest moving slightly heavier than usual.

Your pulse immediately went up and you felt a need to scoop her up before this escalated. Was this gonna end in yet another breakdown? Would this trigger her anxiety? How were you gonna get a hold of her? And worst of all; was this gonna embarrass Jessie enough to want to end it with you?

[thequietkid-moonie]

My love, is mine all mine

[ DRABBLE ] [ My next life as a Villainess All Routes Lead to Doom! ]

⚠️ Yandere, I don't support nor try to romanticize this toxic behaivor, i just write it for entretaiment

> The way they see their darling

Catarina Claes

Catarina's darling is a companion for life. Catarina is blinded by her inocence, she is way too naive to understand the true extent of her obsesive love and end up taking her feelings as inocent happiness for befriending her darling, not really noticing how much she is monopilizing her darling's time or how she is intertwining her life with her darling's

Mary Hunt

Mary's darling is her one and only. When Mary falls in love she does hard, she love with burning passion and will fight for that same love, her obsession does nothing but grow over time and will do everything in her power to have that love being reciprocated, after all there is no one like her darling and her darling doesn’t need anyone else

Sophia Ascart

Sophia's darling is a place where to belong. For the longest time Sophia was bullied and casted away because of her appearance, being treaten like some kind of demon but her darling was diferent, her darling was able to look at her and still smile, to spend time with her without throwing any kind of insult towards her, "so thats what it feels like being loved" was what she thought about you, soon you became home for her and she will not leave any time soon

Maria Campbell

Maria's darling is a reason to fight. Since Maria comes from a rather humble home she can't compare to the people at the magic school, she has never wanted to get in troubles and risk the oportunity she was given, but by having her darling at her side she feels like she can fight against the biggest threats that dare to step in her way, but she still prefers to avoid conflict, she will only get violent if her darling is threated

Geordo Stuart

Geordo's darling feels like salvation. He is constantly in the spotlight, with high expectatives in his shoulders, he himself expects the best from himself so Geordo end up falling in the trap of the expectatives and the social preasure and her darling is the only thing that can safe him from that, his darling is what matter the most for him, if his darling can like him the way he is then he is fine, as long as his darling loves him he will be able to keep going

Alan Stuart

Alan's darling is everything. Alan has lived for the longest time at his brother's shadow, he is recognized as Geordo's brother rather than being recognized for be himself, but his darling does see him and recognize him, his darling not only aknowledge his existance but also accept him and because of that his darling became his entire world, his darling gave him something he was craving for so bad for and because of that he will devote himself to his darling

Keith Claes

Keith's darling is someone to fight for and protect. He was given a second oportunity to live, he was blessed to be accepted in a caring and welcoming family and he wants to do that for his darling, no matter from were his darling comes from Keith wants to become someone his darling can rely on, someone who can shield his darling and make them smile, but he wants to be the only one with that privilege too

Nicol Ascart

Nicol's darling is someone to follow. He has always being in the backround since he have never been too interested on stepping in the spotlight, Nicol rather be with his sister than with anyone else, but after meeting his darling that attention was completely turned towards them, he is willing to become his darling's shadow, just following them and making sure his darling is safe and happy, even if he doesn't get recognized for now its fine as long as he can see his darling smile

[jamscandraw]

Get to know my Tav - Percy edition

Perseverance "Percy" ◆ Mephistopheles Tiefling ◆ she/her ◆ 28 ◆ Entertainer ◆ Monk ◆ Way of the Four Elements

From what I can gather the original source of this questionnaire is @sporeservant! Percy is still pretty new to me as a character and I'm not very far into the game so these things will change over time, but I like figuring out a character in the early stages so I can think about how to play them! I'm also super open to answering other questions about her so if you're curious, just ask :) Big text under the cut!

What is your Tav's:

favourite weapon: a big old stick. She currently carries a magic javelin but refuses to ever throw it, and just hits things with the pointy end

style of combat: punch, kick, punch punch. She's a highly skilled martial artist and now she's got the power of anime on her side, her fists can now set things on fire too

most prized possession: her combat robes. They belonged to her mentor, Tegulu, who wore them for over 30 years as a monk of a sacred order, and has now passed them on to Percy as a way of initiating her. She doesn't yet feel like she's 'earned' them, but carries them with a great honour

deepest desire: finding a sense of belonging. As a first-generation tiefling in a little town outside the city, Percy was an outsider growing up, and even though she met other tieflings when she joined the circus, she was still treated like a novelty and struggled to find proper community. Being on the road for 9 months of the year means she can't really settle anywhere and doesn't have a specific place she calls 'home'

guilty pleasure: card games. She never bets big money but she loves a night of drinks, cards and winning or losing a few coins. She tries not to win by card-counting too often

best-kept secret: was employed by one of the biggest crime rings in Baldur's Gate for a time. In her late teens/early 20s, in between different circus groups (she left the first one because of poor treatment) and in need of money for her and her friends, she took on work as a bouncer at a club, which turned out to be a front for The Cards, and after a few months of good work she was trusted to work security for some of their more questionable business meetings. She was never high-ranking enough to know what the meetings were actually about but she was still affiliated with them and The Cards don't forget. That part of her life is long-gone but she never brings it up with the Tadpole Squad because she's scared of being judged as a lowlife criminal (especially by Wyll)

greatest strength: apart from her phenomenal dexterity, she's a very shrewd judge of character. Street magic taught her how to read people, and working security for The Cards taught her how to spot a fight before it's even started.

fatal flaw: refusal to ask for help. Everyone else in the party is either already a renowned warrior or super skilled in some other way, all with important missions of their own, and she’s just a random nobody wearing patchwork clothes that happened to fall out of the sky with them. She holds herself to impossible standards and acts like everything is fine all the time so the others don’t see her as the weak link and leave her behind

favourite smell: fresh sawdust

favourite spell or cantrip: it’s technically a ki attack rather than a spell, but Fist of Unbroken Air is great

pet peeve: When people learn she's a circus performer they either joke that she's a clown, or assume that means she's musically talented like a bard, and ask her to sing. She has no confidence in her singing abilities (it's fine) and always flat out refuses

bad habit: hoarding. Having a semi-nomadic lifestyle most of her adult life, Percy is used to having not many personal belongings and not much carrying capacity. Now she has travelling companions and a place to safely store things, she is loathe to discard or ignore any items she finds that "might be useful one day" (yes, I have terrible inventory management)

hidden talent: good with horses. The circus always had them for shows and for travelling, and while she never performed with them she still grew up around them and knows how to handle and ride them pretty well

leisure activity: yoga! It’s good both from a meditative standpoint, as a way to clear her thoughts and recharge her ki points, but also as a way to maintain her flexibility and practice her stances. She tries to do a little bit each day, usually just after waking up and going to sleep

favourite drink: barley wine, or nettle tea if non-alcoholic

comfort food: fruit pie or tart, anything really rich and sweet

favourite person: a three-way tie between Tegulu, her mentor, Iske, her best friend and performance partner, and Lorena, her mother. All of them have had huge positive impacts on her in different ways and she loves them all dearly

Out of Team Tadpole, Wyll by a long shot. They are friends almost from the moment they met, long before any non-platonic feelings start to develop. Karlach is a close second, being a fellow tiefling and very easy to spend time with, and Lae'zel in third, who despite being far harder to joke around with is Percy's most trusted ally in this whole affair. She was the first one Percy met and they saved each other's lives, and Percy trusts her with anything except relationship advice

favoured display of affection (platonic and/or romantic): banter and friendly teasing. She's nice to everyone when they first meet but once she knows someone well enough she enjoys bouncing off them with little two-way jokes. If she really likes you she'll let her tail rest on your lap or twist round your leg; it's a tiefling sign of trust and comfort around someone

fondest childhood memory: the first time the circus ever came to her village. She would have been about 7 and she was blown away by all the lights and colours and amazing skills on show. She was already an adventurous and athletic child, and she decided then and there she wanted to be a part of it when she grew up. It was also the first proper time she ever saw another tiefling - a tightrope walker - and had a sense that there were other people out there in the world like her

[trans-fairy-goddess]

Cheaters Never Win

TW// cheating, light stalking, mention of cross dressing, mention of safe word (never used)

My girl and I have been together for a full year now, and everything is fine… but I’ve been having some cravings for quite some time now. I really need to conquer another woman.

One night while my trans girlfriend was out on a family trip, I decided to go around town and getting into some trouble. I remember administering my fists inside of a virgin cis girl as her mom listened from the other room. I remember ripping a crossdresser’s throat apart with my gock, filling her up with my girlcum. After a week full of promiscuous fun, I went home to rest. When I woke up in the morning, my girl was holding me.

She asked me about my week, and I made up a fake story about how boring work was. As I was talking, she put her finger on my lips.

“Shhhhhh. Not one word angel.”

I immediately got quiet; I was taken aback by her sternness

“We share our locations with each other, remember?”

My knees began to quake, but I clung onto my best poker face for dear life.

“Yeah I d-do…”

“Turn around and look in the mirror for me.”

I followed orders. “Do you remember the safe word?” she said softly. “Y-yes ma’am.” I said defeatedly.

She immediately ripped my purple top off, revealing my exposed breasts; she then rips a hole in the back of my tight blue pants, revealing my dark red panties. I bite my lip in excitement while she gets a good view of what’s hers.

I could now feel the palm of her hand rubbing against my white chocolate ass. “Tell me what you did while I was away.”

I immediately folded like a pancake. “I was bein’ bad... I’ve been messin’ around with other cuties downtown, but I’m s-sorry.”

“Ohhhh~ so you are having fun while I was away? Tell me some of your stories.” She said cockily.

As I began to explain the stories, she would bend me over and spank me with the palm of her hand slowly, but as hard as she could. My face began to turn as red as my ass; I couldn’t help but exclaim “I’m sorry” every time she hit me. Every time I apologized, she would slap me in my face and kiss me gently.

My brain got all fuzzy and my face got very warm. I must’ve zoned out from all the tender loving care she was given me. Next thing I know, I was laid on our bed facing a mirror. I could feel her warm hands on my hips as she thrusted her girldick into me roughly. She almost immediately began pounding my special spot as she let out all of her emotions with her groaning in my ear. The way she touches me and treats me is better than any other person I’ve been with while she was gone.

“Who does this slutty pussy belong to, princess?” she said as she began to thrust slowly and forcefully.

As my queen continued to ravish my holes, I could feel my girldick dripping. “It’s yours daddy. I learned my lesson.” She began to thrust faster and had no intention of stopping. I could feel her hands around my neck, lightly choking me as all I could hear was *plap *plap* *plap*

I immediately came all over her sheets as she pumped me full of her love. She then got on top of me and kissed every single part of me that she groped and hit. She whispered “I love you princess” between every single kiss I began to whimper lightly. She held me delicately like a flower.

I’m very loyal to my girl. She lets me go out and cheat whenever she’s not around so she can put me in my place when she gets back. When she’s being rough, I know she is marking me as her fucktoy. But when she’s being soft with me, I know it’s her way of apologizing. She gives me so much affection, discipline, and attention… suchhhh a playa, but that’s why I love her 💜

Author’s Notes: This story is truly my biggest fantasy. The only thing that would make it more perfect is mixing other raunchy kinks in~ Rare me being a subby bottom post!

Also, my cheating days are far behind me. I’m in a lovely poly relationship with my boyfriend and girlfriend, where we practice relationship anarchy. It’s unfair and childish to break someone’s heart and boundaries.

…but man do I miss being an immature home wrecker. If only I could be treated like a community bicycle and get ridden all day everyday, just to return home and pretend to be innocent.

P.S. if you’re reading this, just try being poly for once. You’re too hot to be only messing with 1 person.