«Mis ojos viajan por toda la habitación, inundada de muerte y sangre. Apenas estamos comenzando el viaje y el peligro ya se ha abalanzado sobre nosotros... ¿Qué más nos deparará este camino? ¿Podré protegerte de cualquier mal que nos aceche en la noche? No creo que entiendas lo mucho que me aterra perderte. Puedo perderlo todo, pero no a ti.
No a ti.»
Yao-Ch’en en @kaelkoth.
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And if I say that both Anakin and Thrawn suffered the same childhood trauma and it manifests in completely different ways that makes their dynamic very interesting, what then? The loss of a family member and how they reacted to it is crucial in their characters. It is the loss of Shmi that turns Anakin’s love into a possessive, obsessive, abandonment fearing mess. It is the loss of Vurika/Borika, that informs Thrawn’s view of himself and others as just assets to a larger cause.
Regardless if Anakin could or couldn’t have saved his mother if the council listened, Shmi’s death in his mind is framed as an event in that Anakin was too late, he wasn’t there. It is a loss that turns into this idea that if he doesn’t protect what he loves, someone or something will take it from him. We see this in the Rush Clovis arc, we see it in the way he immediately jumps to jealousy at Obi Wan in ROTS despite Obi Wan never having such a relation with Padme. For Anakin, loss is always framed as someone took something from me. Even platonically, we see this in the Rako Hardeen arc. And it is evident that this started after Shmi’s death because Anakin does not have the same sort of hatred for Maul who killed Quigon.
For Anakin, it will always be that someone took something from me, so I have to do something about that. And it’s why Palpatine can manipulate him so easily, because all Palps has to do is point at someone, give him a target to blame and say kill.
For Thrawn, yes it is slightly different as Borika isn’t dead. But it is a loss nevertheless. Thrawn on the flip side of Anakin, registers loss as something inevitable and thus why harbor deep attachments? Not to say he doesn’t care because we know he does. Thrass, Ar’alani, and Eli all speak to the fact that he does very much care and love. But in every instance, he does keep them at a distance, he pushes them away just as they get close. And it stems from Borika because the reason why he loses her is so she could serve the Ascendancy. It is not a choice she made and he knows this. And that informs why everything he does is for this goal, because all he knows is that everything, even things that caused him pain is supposed to be for this goal.
Where Anakin sought to justify the loss in blaming himself and then others, Thrawn justifies the loss by trying to give the pain purpose. If it meant something then he shouldn’t be upset. It is what it is. Yet, just like how Anakin’s possessiveness leads to his downfall by Palpatine, by pushing all his friends away instead of keeping them close, Thrawn leaves himself vulnerable and surrounded by his enemies instead. All those friends will serve the larger goal, the Ascendancy, but who is left looking to him?
Idk what I’m really trying to say other than yeah that’s some interesting character dynamics. The idea that both these characters are defined by loss as much as they are also defined by hope as their shining moments of good.
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Ever since I made that post about the lack of mori content on YouTube and everywhere else:((, I have been thinking about what I wrote for a very long time, and I'm seriously thinking about starting a YouTube channel dedicated to mori and mori related things!!!
Is it a good idea? If so, what should be my first video?
I am nervous about this type of stuff, but if enough people push me to it, I might as well do it lmaoooo
Everything for mori!!!!! 😭😭😭
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Of course now, Cillian is an Oscar winner too…
“Isn’t it amazing? I’m so pleased for him because he deserves it. After every award that he won, he would text and say, ‘I really can’t wait to be doing Peaky.’ Confirming that none of this was going to change what we’re going to do next.”
Sounds like a jilted person talking about how their ex, who is now very happily moved on with a new partner and probably baby, is actually still *well* into them.
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Akata appreciation post and manga haul 📚
I didn't buy all of them at once but I did buy them pretty recently
Love Mix-Up is almost over in France, only 2 volumes left! And I started buying Boys Run the Riot because I realised I could spend my money now, especially on stuff I really loved reading digitally
Once again, Akata is THE manga publisher to me, they're always coming out with amazing titles, a lot of them with queer themes and storylines. They're even going to publish She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat (my review here) in France, which is amazing. Even when their titles aren't queer, they're amazing: Night view on the Factory was just zjfjzuej (look up the TW though). They're a small but passionate team and it really shows that they love what they're doing
Anyways, if you're curious what these are about:
My post about Boys Run the Riot
My post about Love Mix-Up
Entre Nos Mains
English title: Run Away With Me, Girl
Original title: Kakeochi Girl / かけおちガール
Genres: Drama, Romance, Slice of Life
Themes: Adultery, Homosexuality
Japanese volumes: 16 (Finished)
Maki’s first love was her high school classmate, a girl named Midori. But Midori broke up with Maki at graduation, saying they were now “too old to be fooling around dating girls.” Ten years later, Maki still can’t get Midori off her mind, and when the two women reconnect after a chance encounter, Maki realizes that, while her feelings haven’t changed, Midori has long moved on—in fact, she’s engaged. Yet the more Maki hears Midori talk about her soon-to-be-husband, the more red flags she notices...
Absolutely fell in love with the art and then the story punched me in the guts in the best way. The characters are complex and while they may not be entirely lovable, they are wholly human. And I really loved that
Some trigger warnings apply though, so I'll list the ones that come to mind*: cheating, domestic violence, gaslighting, misogyny, internalised homophobia
*Note that those are the ones I remember from what little I've read of this story and other TW may apply. Please try to look up a more complete list if you have any doubts. Take care of yourself ✨
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I’m sorry it’s giving star crossed lovers
Come to me
And let my ever-loving arms surround you
Come to me
And let my infinite embrace confound you
We'll mourn each other
Like star-crossed lovers
Your Pelléas, my Mélisande
Oh, come to me
Come to me
Come to me I get intoxicated by the very air of you
Come to me I'm so infatuated with the grand affair of you
Ruin each other
Like star-crossed lovers
Your Pelléas, my Mélisande
Oh, come to me
Come to me
Come to me
Come to me
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