#Handmaid’s take season 5

[riverofempathy]

The Handmaid’s Tale S5 E9 Allegiance

Spoilers, duh (for the show and the book sequel The Testaments)

I fucking knew it. I knew it wouldn’t work. Ahhhhhhh I had the tiniest bit of hope but I knew, of course I knew, it couldn’t be that easy to get Hannah back.

But she remembers her name. 🥺 That’s a big deal. Who knows what else she remembers. Brainwashing and religious conditioning and abuse are monstrous drugs.

I really want more of Hannah. I want to hear her speak. I want to see her with the other girls. I want to know her thoughts.

Maybe they really are sticking with the plot in The Testaments. A couple differences here and there, sure. Does that mean we can get more flashbacks with Aunt Lydia? Please?! It will absolutely wreck me and I need it. I want to see the complexity. I want to see another ugly, dark, horrific side of Gilead that makes people *question* everything they thought about Gilead because god damn it, I did, when I read the sequel. Ok, maybe not everything. But Aunt Lydia? Oh yeah.

[ionlylikemycat]

the sympathy i have for serena joy waterford represented numerically: -30627

[13as07]

Spitting Image #5

(Gaara Sabaku)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to o3_kurisutarogubo]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 3,599

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Gets heated toward the end :)

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     It feels like there are millions of eyes on me as I cut up Yoshiki's fruit to have with his breakfast. The three chefs of the kitchen along with my handmaid - Gou - all look at me like I've grown a second head. I've grown used to the looks over the past week. Apparently, no one in the palace ever does anything for themselves, besides me, I guess.

     "Darling?" Gaara calls again, pulling another annoyed sigh from me. "My darling, please acknowledge me."

"What is it that you need?" I grumble, continuing to chop up the fruit. Things were going well between us. Gaara was succeeding at giving me space and every night this week he has crawled into my bed to cuddle for a while... then this morning when he came to greet Yosh he asked me what season I'd like to have the wedding. Talk about knocking us back to square one.

"I wish to apologize."

     "What?" I asked, snapping my head towards him in a bit of disbelief.

     "I have been reading about relationships. It seems that my constant conversation about marriage is making you feel trapped, that is not what I'm trying to do. So, I would like to apologize."

     "Uh - okay?" I mutter, quickly blinking at the ginger standing next to me.

     "I am sorry for making you feel trapped. I would like you to know that you are free to come and go as you wish. You are free to do as you wish..."

     "But?" I ask, Gaara's gaping mouth and his flickery eyes giving away to the add-on he's struggling with.

     "But, my darling, with me being the Kazekage and us being... there are dangers to Yoshiki and you all over the Great Nations, including our nation and... I don't want you upset but I would like a guard to join you when you go out if Shinki and me are not coming along with you. I'm sorr - "

     "That's understandable," I cut him off, swiping the cut fruit off the cutting board and plumping it into a bowl. "I don't know anything about the village so even if a threat did rise I wouldn't have any chance, so that's not an unreasonable request."

     "Oh," he whispers, slowly blinking at me as the gears in his head shift. "I am glad that we agree."

     "Me too."

     Gaara stays put, the two of us watching as Yosh eats his scrambled egg and diced fruit. "Gaara?" I call after a couple of minutes.

     "My darling?"

     "I should apologize too," I murmur, turning my focus towards him.

     "What do you have to apologize for, my dear?"

     "I'm sorry I tried to hit you last week. I shouldn't take my anger out on you in the first place and I really shouldn't take it out on you like that. I'm sorry for making things difficult for you too. I wish I was ready to get married but... I'm just not there yet."

     "It's alright, darling. When you are ready, I will be here waiting," Gaara mutters, face scrunched up as his hand slowly moves forward. It lands on top of my head, softly patting me as his face unscrunches. "I would like to take you on a date tonight. I would also like to buy you a new outfit for our date but Shinki thinks you'll just buy it for yourself, so I already did. If you do not like it, I shall return it and find you something else."

     With that, Gaara kisses the top of Yoshiki's head before turning on his heels and disappearing from the kitchen.

   �� My eyes flicker back to our son who's having the time of his life squishing his egg into the plate of his high chair. "Yosh," I call, his head picking up and a huge smile crossing his face once he realizes I'm the one who called him. "Papa is going to take me on a date tonight. What do you think of that?"

     "Baabaa," his voice rings out, trying to say 'papa' like his older brother does.

     "Yes, Papa. Who am I? Am I mama?"

     "Baabaa," he repeats, smashing his fork into his dismembered egg.

     I smile at my boy, enjoying the sweet moment we're sharing. Gaara's talk of the future might terrify me but I can't wait to see the man our son will grow into.

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     The yukata got me is beautiful and probably worth a pretty penny. Gou is tucked behind me, pinning the white material stamped with red flowers to my body. "Gou?"

"Yes, my last?"

"How much do you think my yukata cost?"

"I think Lord Fifth paid eighty-two hundred yen for it, I'm not sure though," she mumbles around the pins in her mouth.

"Oh," I mutter, looking over the outfit in the body mirror again. Gou has dolled me up and, my hair done with a matching pin through my locks. "Where's Gaara taking me?"

"I am not allowed to tell you, my lady. Direct orders from the Kazekage."

"Has Kankuro shown up yet?"

"Yes, my lady. Please stop worrying about Yoshiki and Shinki. They will be safe and cared for while you're out."

     "I can't do that," I mumble to myself, shifting when Gou accidentally likes me with a pin. I'd rather Kankuro watch the boys than anyone else in the village, but I'm still not too fond of the idea. I know Kankuro even less than I know Temari, and I was overly anxious about leaving my son with her.

     "What can't you do, my darling?" Gaara's voice rings out before his hands settle on my hips. They flutter a bit like he can't decide whether it's a good idea to be touching me or not.

     "Calm down," I mutter, settling my hands on top of his, keeping them in place. My eyes scan over his image in the mirror, taking in the matching yukata he's wearing.

     "Why can't you calm down?" Gaara asks, eyes flickering between us in the mirror and the wall of my bedroom.

     "I'm just nervous about leaving the boys home with your brother."

     "Do not take up your mind with worries. Kankuro would do anything for his nephews," he murmurs, trying a squeeze to my hips. When I don't tell him to stop, he squeezes me again... and again. "You look very nice, my dear. Are you ready to go?"

     "As ready as I'll ever be," I murmur, slowly pulling away from his touch. His face scrunches from my movements, what I think is sadness covering his face. "Where are you taking me?"

     "Tonight is the first day of the Prickly Pear harvest. A festival goes on every night of the harvest. We are going there, and then we will watch the stars as we wait for the fireworks."

     "Prickly pear?" I ask, a giggle slipping out. What a weird name for a crop.

     "Yes. They are pears that grow on a cactus. They have the same spikes as a cactus does, hence prickly pear."

      I hum in amusement, making my way out of the room with Gaara in tow. "I've never had a prickly pear."

     "We shall get you a prickly pear then," he mumbles, making me laugh again. 'Prickly pear' is a weird thing to hear Gaara say. "Come here, my dear. You are too far away from me," he grumbles, stepping forward quicker before his arm wraps around mine. "You need to stay close so you do not get hurt or lost during the festival."

     "Is that the only reason?" I tease, tightening my arm around his as I shift closer to his side.

     His eyes flicker to me before settling on our looped arms. "... yes," he whispers, head back on straight as he leads me down the hallway. "Perhaps not," he adds on, cheeks coated in a pale pink.

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Gaara's eyes are locked on me as I enjoy the Prickly Pear Icy he bought me. It's not as exciting as I thought it would be. It tastes like a musk melon. "Do you like your treat?"

"It's good," I mumble around the popsicle. "I like the meat stuff on the stick you got me more though."

"Would you like more? We can go back to the booth," he rambles, head spinning as he looks for the meat-on-a-stick booth we were at a few moments ago.

"No, I'm good," I tell him, using the arm still looped through his to pull him closer. The attempt to calm Gaara works, he - mostly - settles down again. His eyes are still as sharp as a hawk, scanning the festivalgoers for any possible threats. "So, I don't know about you sandfolk, but in the Leaf, there's usual games and such to play too. Do you guys have that here?"

"Of course, what kind of festival would it be if we did not have games?" He grumbles, eyes flickering around the people that shift out of the way as we walk. "Is there a game you have in mind?"

"I don't remember what it's called, but you have these paper paddles and you try to catch a fish with them. If you win you get to take the fish home."

     "Kingyo Suku."

     "What?"

     "The game you are speaking of, it's called Kingyo Suku," Gaara explains before he lets out a soft sigh. "One moment dear," he groans, tugging me in front of him before his hands settle on my hips. The man-handling and added weight to my hips make my chest - and a little more than that - flutter. "Hello Matsuri," He greets the person bee-lining for us.

     "My lord," the girl greets back, bowing her head quickly before straightening up again. "And...?"

     "This is... she's my... this is consort Kazekage," Gaara finally pushes out, stumbling over his words a bit.

     The girl's eyes widen a bit, her smile wavering as she focuses on her village leader. "I didn't know you were married, Lord Fifth."

     "I'm... not," he mutters, using his hold on me to pull me against him. "She is... what is it that I can help you with, Matsuri?"

     "Oh! The word around the village is that you have a second son now," the girl's eyes flutter to me once the sentence is out, her jaw locking a bit before she turns back towards Gaara. "I was hoping to meet him."

     "I do, yes. He is not here with us. I am hoping to introduce him to the village on the last night of the festival. I wouldn't want to take the light away from the village farmers today, and I still need to talk to his mother about her thoughts on it," He answers, his hands jumping up to my arms when he says the word 'mother'. "Soon enough my son will be officially announced, as will his mother, so do not worry."

     "Oh great," the lady says, eyes stuck on me now. "What a... joy for the village. A new prince and our Kazekage has picked his consort."

     "It is quite the joy, yes. Now please excuse us, I promised my consort a festival game." With that, the woman bows again and Gaara quickly shifts us away from her. "My apologies, darling," he mutters once we're out of her earshot, sliding his arm back around mine.

     "What's a consort?" I ask, letting my eyes trail over the lanterns strung around the booths as I replay the interaction we just had. The girl was jealous of me, right? That's what that whole thing was, right? Or am I just reading into it? I think I'm reading into the situation too much.

     "It is the royal title of the monarch's... partner. Usually a wife, but you have made it clear you are not ready for that, so you shall be introduced to the village as my consort instead of my wife." Gaara nods his head in agreement with himself, another one of his ticks that I don't quite understand.

     "What's the deal with the girl that was talking to you?"

     "She was one of my students."

     "I think your student has a crush on you."

     He falls still, eyes sharp and locked on me. "Does that upset you? Do I need to fix it? How would I go about fixing an issue such as this?" Gaara races out, his sight more intense the longer he talks. "I do not wish for Matsuri to have a crush on me, I wish for you to have a crush on me. My darling - "

     I jump up a bit, plopping a kiss on his cheek before falling flat on my feet again, cutting off the panicked Kage. "Stop worrying, Gaara. I do have a crush on you and I don't care that Matsuri does. I was just curious."

     "Oh," he whispers, blinking in his slow 'I'm trying to figure this out' way. "That is good news."

     "Yes, it is," I mutter, curling my arms around his tighter, gluing us closer together. It's not a lie, I do like Gaara. He's grown on me over the past couple of months. He just has a tad of separation anxiety, terrible communication skills - as do I - and a small fear of abandonment, all of which we can work through. All of which scares me.

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     My eyes are turned towards the sky, enjoying the colorful explosions decorating it. Gaara and I are laid out on a sand dune a ways out from the village. He laid out a blanket underneath us to attempt to keep the sand off of us. Sand has a mind of its own so, of course, it's not working, but the attempt is sweet.

     "Gaara?"

     "Dear?"

     "Do they have the fireworks every night of the festival or just tonight?"

     "Every night."

     Slowly I slide my hand across the blanket, in search of his hand. When my fingers bump into his, Gaara stiffens. Despite his reaction, I carefully intertwine our fingers together, his body relaxing once our hands are tied together. "Gaara?"

     "My darling?"

     "Do you think we can watch the fireworks again tomorrow?"

     "Whatever you wish for I will make happen."

     "You could have just said yes," I respond, stifling a laugh that threatens to spill out.

     Our words fall silent, only the sound of the popping fireworks filling the space between us. The sky continues to be temporally decorated, bright reds, blues, yellows, and everything in between coating the sky.

     Once the last sparkle of light falls from the sky, I turn my head towards Gaara, preparing to ask if he's ready to leave. When my sights settle on him, his eyes are already locked on me. I'm thankful for the darkness that hides the embarrassment crawling across my face. How long has he been looking at me? Why must he always be looking at me so tensely?

     "My darling?" I let a hum out, letting Gaara know I'm paying attention to whatever he's going to say. "I... wish to cuddle in bed with you tonight."

"You usually do, Gaar. That's fine by me."

"No, not like that. I... do not wish to leave. I want..." His head turns away from me, focusing on the stars stamped into the black backdrop of the night.

I turn my head too, enjoying the clear skies of the open desert. "Do you want to sleep in the same bed? Is that what you're trying to ask?"

"... yes. If you do not want me to, I will not. I know you said you do not want to share a room."

I turn on my side, our connected hands stabbing into me because of the position. "Gaara?" I call, rubbing my free hand over his chest.

My view of his eyes is cut off as he blinks repeatedly, his chest jumping quickly, and his body going tense again. I move forward more, our noses bumping because of how close to his face I am. "My darling dear?" He breathes out, the words shaky as he scans my face.

The combination of my nicknames makes me smile, my tongue poking out to run over my bottom lip as the thought of kissing Gaara crosses my mind. "Ya, you can sleep in my bed tonight," I murmur, more than kissing slowly starting to fill my mind.

"I can?"

"Yes, if you want to. Do you want to?"

Gaara's head nods quickly, his nose switching from bumping into mine to bumping into my cheek because of his movements. His eyes are blown out as they look at me, a nice difference from the usual slit shape they hold. "Please?"

I let out a strained sigh because of the single word, the thoughts of marriage and another baby not seeming so scary anymore. This is how I got pregnant the first time. Well, not exactly, same feelings and thoughts as that night though. "Okay," I whisper back, starting to pull away so I can stand up.

     The arm pressed under me jumps up, landing on my back and gently pushing me back into please. "Darling?"

     "Gaara?" I ask back, our eyes locked, his slightly twitching like he's not sure what to do.

     "Just sleeping, yes?"

     "Just sleeping," I echo, the smallest part of sanity pushing through the tension of the moment.

     "Can I at least have a kiss? It is customary to have a goodnight kiss at the end of a date, yes?"

     "Ya," I breathe out, Gaara's hand present on my back softly pushing me closer to his face.

     "Then I would like a kiss... then we can go home," he mutters, his lips brushing mine as he speaks, his chest bouncing with anxiety. "And just sleep."

     "And just sleep," I repeat, more for my benefit than his. If I say it enough maybe I'll believe.

     The hand on my back slowly snakes up my body, ending its slithering on the back of my neck. Gaara's touch is soft and slow as he closes the lack of distance between us.

     His lips are rough, bruised, and scabbed over. They taste like chamomile tea; apple-ly with a hint of honey. His hand gets rougher, pushing me against him more as he deepens our kiss. Gaara's tongue pokes out, teasing my lips apart. I give in, parting my lips a bit. His tongue slips in, toying with mine for a moment before he slowly pulls away from me. "Just... just sleep," he mutters, eyes hazy as he looks up at me.

     "Just sleep," I repeat for the third time tonight, slowly pulling our bodies apart.

———————————

     “This is not just sleep,” Gaara murmurs against my neck, his hands eagerly shoving the sleeves of my yukata down my shoulders, the material of it balling at my elbows. His lips travel down my neck, making quick work across my newly exposed skin.

“No, this is not just sleep,” I echo, my hands gripping the front of his clothing.

“We’re supposed to just sleep,” he continues to whisper, hands sliding across the door of the Hokage palace in search of the keyhole. “We should just sleep,” he adds, the sound of the key sliding into the lock filling the empty night air.

“Ya, we should… should just… sleep,” I whisper, tugging Gaara with me as the door swings open.

“Yes, of course. I have a busy day tomorrow,” he mumbles, the two of us stumbling down the hallway. His hands crawl across my body, tugging at my clothes, toying with the hems of it like he wants to slide his fingers under neither but isn’t sure whether he should or not. Our feet stumble just as much as Gaara’s hands, slowly moving us further down the hallway.

“I’m sure you do,” I scramble out, my hands falling to the front of my clothing, tugging on it to part the material covering my chest. “I… I’ll be up early for the boys, so… so we should go to sleep.”

“It would be better than fucking the hallway,” a deep voice rings out, cutting apart the tension growing between Gaara and me.

“Kankuro!” Gaara calls, his hands falling on top of mine, gripping them as he snaps my clothes shut again, effectively covering my bra. “How were the boys?” He grumbles, carefully fastening my yukata back in place.

“They were good, not as good as your night seems to be going,” Gaara’s younger brother chuckles out, finding his cock-blocking funny. “Yoshiki is fast asleep in his nursery, I just checked on him like five minutes ago. Shinki is asleep in his room, just checked on him too.”

“Thank you. Please see yourself out,” Gaara groans, his hands tightening and loosening around the material of my clothes.

More chuckles fall from the older man as he walks down the hallway, the sound of the door opening and clicking closed as he leaves.

“We… we should not just sleep,” Gaara mumbles, slowly tugging apart the front of my yukata again. His eyes scan my face as he does so, watching for my reaction.

“Oh ya? What should we do instead?”

Gaara’s mouth snaps open a few times, his answer stuck in his throat as his eyes jump from my face to my chest. “I should… should fulfill your… bedroom needs. Like last time I got to sleep in your bed. I would like… please?”

God damn it, at this rate, Gaara’s going to get his wish of having another kid before Yoshiki is four. “Whatever you wish for I will make happen,” I tease, repeating his words from earlier.

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[glasskey]

Nick & Lawrence Mixtape

Ever since June wreaked havoc in Lawrence’s household in season 3, he’s been hanging with our boy Nick. Welcome one and all to the season 4 and 5 Gilead Boss mix

Thank you for your service to Gilead.

Thanks to June’s shenanigans, Lawrence is now due to be executed, Gilead has politely sent Nick Blaine to say “Thanks ever so” before the final curtain call, but unwittingly they’ve also sent Lawrence his exit strategy. Nick may be crafty, but Lawrence is a true strategist. He’s a brilliant psychoanalyst, who took all of 3 seconds to realize Blaine was in love with Osborne and that there was no way on God’s green earth, that baby was Fred’s.

Nick had the audacity to hook up with a Handmaid, is sporting a rebellious streak a mile wide and yet SOMEHOW he’s still alive. It’s obvious to Lawrence that Blaine’s extremely cunning and very, very useful. Lawrence is a cynical and astute political animal, soaked in Teflon, with more lives than a cat. He’s the quick witted, dodgy “friend” who talks you into all manner of shit. While he conceived Gilead he’s not really responsible for the ritualistic bullshit that seems to have been constructed out of his theories. As a result he greets any of it with utter disdain, and it is this same hatred for the religious ceremony of Gilead that Lawrence can sense in Nick Blaine.

At first Nick appears compliant and servile but when nudged in his June Osborne Achilles Heel, Lawrence is surprised to find how malleable and resourceful the young commander can be. Blaine turns up touting not only a free ticket out of death row for Lawrence, but also a chance to regain his previous powers.

Lawrence realizes immediately what June always knew; Blaine is an invaluable ally masquerading as nothing more than the resident “fetch and carry”. These two immediately set up an enchanting marriage of convenience in which much political back scratching may take place. For the next 2 seasons we remained glued to our screens as we watched Lawrence use Blaine’s deadly abilities to precisely maneuver pieces across the board, pulling himself out of the noose and all the way back up to the top.

She is never coming back to you.

“You’re getting very comfortable here” Nick says to Lawrence, it’s not just his house that he’s referring to, it’s also his somewhat apathetic acquiescence with the powers that be. “She changed you, she changed me” Nick says reminding Lawrence of the newfound purpose that June brought them both. Here we see a bit of a battle of wits with Lawrence trying to convince Nick, June has lost her value now and Nick not so subtly threatening to kick Lawrence out of his house and possibly back to the chopping block, if he doesn’t save her life. While Lawrence thinks it’s “nice to want things”, Blaine isn’t playing; he wants what he wants and he fully intends to get it. “You owe me”, Blaine states not once but twice, refusing to be denied.

Here in the dim light, Lawrence and Nick strike a deal that echoes throughout season 4 and 5. Lawrence has already realized he simply needs to push the June Osborne button and the resourceful young commander will do exactly as he’s bid. Conceding to Blaine’s demands to merely keep June alive, is a small price to pay for what he knows is Nicks lasting loyalty.

“She is NEVER coming back to you, why would she?” Lawrence says. There’s a deep connection between Nick and June of liberty and rebellion and here Lawrence tries to convince Nick that freedom has forgotten him and it’ll be better for everyone if he just gets comfy right where he is. Let’s give credit where credit is due, throughout season 4 and 5 Lawrence almost gets away with it. As intelligent as Nick may be, he is consistently emotionally vulnerable and it makes him easy prey. There’s part of me that wants to believe that Lawrence isn’t entirely opportunistic, he’s been uncomfortably close to the noose because of June and there’s no doubting he’s kind of got a soft spot for Nick, at least enough to want better than a sharp drop at the end of a rope for the young commander. As a result Lawrence suggests he move on, and Nick having lost hope, gets married. Lawrence may have the best of intentions, and his observation that June’s love “fucks people up” is not entirely wrong, but let’s face it ultimately he has got to go.

In Fred’s absence Nick is sorely missing the father figure he constantly craves and without June he’s feeling somewhat lost. Conveniently Lawrence has become a tad lonely ever since June departed his gloomy abode, and consequently he takes Nick under his wing like some kind of cuddly Darth Vader. Despite the illusion of a buddy comedy gone Gilead, the reality was that this relationship signified Nick’s deepening commitment to Gilead and the widening chasm between himself and June. Lawrence, the Architect of Gilead encourages Blaine to set up a new life complete with a house in the burbs, a compliant Gilead wifey who lives to knit and make coffee, and a leg up in government. It’s the peaceful home Blaine always wanted, always searched for and yet, there’s something not quite right. It’s nothing but a cheap illusion, a mere shadow at best, and despite his best efforts to assimilate, he aches for his true family.

I’m constantly watching Blaine cling to a compromise, ANY answer no matter how painful, that doesn’t involve inconveniencing June’s life. Here we see him try and inevitably fail once again.

Would your heart glow?

Here they’ve come straight from a meeting where Lawrence did his darndest to secure a cease fire and get some aid to the border, naturally he was shocked to find that Nick didn’t help him out with that one. Lawrence is a touch miffed, and as a consequence it earns Nick a nice dry as fuck pay out to let him know that he’s been a wee bit cold blooded, and maybe, just maybe he’s not as smart as he thinks he is. Lawrence’s cute, cutting quip also made light of Nicks deep affection for June, casting it instead as nothing more than a school boy crush. As usual Laurence is being a bit mouthy here and he definitely knows that’s not the case, but his point is valid: The Eyes don’t see everything.

If Nick thinks that he’s got a beat on June’s whereabouts by simply relying on them as a source, Lawrence is here to tell him he’s sadly mistaken; his devotion to her is not some sort of psychic GPS. “Very funny” Nick replies with some well-earned derision, but as we all know he’s constantly making mental notes and he promptly follows up by checking with his Mayday contacts. She’s in Chicago and he didn’t have a fucking clue, worse still is that in no time at all Lawrence has made a deal that involves Nick having to bomb it, with no guarantees she or ANY of the refugees seeking aid will actually survive. Nick does his best to side step this one but it’s to no avail, and he’s left looking like he’s about to return his breakfast to the desk in front of him. It’s Commander Putnam in particular who sticks the boot in here, forcing him to get a wriggle on and bomb his girlfriend and a bunch of innocent civilians. Blaine’s chillingly precise look and almost audible mental note, made me wonder if it was primarily this that earnt Putnam that bullet in later episodes.

At least part of Nicks journey involves being a military commander and this was done precisely to demonstrate the progression from simple recruit to an aggressive higher power that can be manipulated for the purposes of war and accumulation of power. Throughout the seasons we see Nick fulfill his commitments to Gilead with increasing reluctance, as he begins his journey from Gilead stooge to rebel fighter. It’s an awesome and complex journey that highlights personal growth and the desire to change in the face of great adversity. The bombing of Chicago is one of those moments that’s meant to illustrate Nick’s personal loss amongst the civilian casualties of war. “It’s the cost of doing business” Lawrence says to a sickened and cornered Blaine; the sacrifice of others for the greater good, or at least Lawrence’s version of it….even if it’s June.

I've been grooming Nick.

Technically a Lawrence and June moment but I’d like to take a moment and embellish on exactly what Lawrence had been up to. “I’ve been grooming Nick. Not sexually of course.” Lawrence says to a gob smacked June.

No shit. He’s convinced him to marry a nice girl in the burbs, back up his plot for New Bethlehem and be his personal assassin to get it done. Lawrence is a master manipulator, he wants what he wants, and Nick is simply no match for his human puppetry. As a reward for his continuing compliance, Lawrence assures Nick that he and June will be together again. Lawrence intends to get New Bethlehem completed, he likes to cover his bets and he knows that his best chips in this game are Nick and June. If he can get the young commander to back him he’s sure to have June getting cozy in New Bethlehem in no time. I’m sad to say that in S5 we nearly lost Blaine to the forces of Gilead, he simply lost hope when he “tried to let go” of June. In the dark he clings to the smallest ray of light, Lawrence’s dream for a better version of Gilead, some semblance of freedom.

I was never more conflicted about Lawrence than I was in S5, the moments of sheer manipulation of these two for his ultimate goal made me absolutely livid, but I also applauded his attempts to at least try to improve the cesspool that was Gilead. He was determined to “wrestle a better future from an unchangeable past”, but New Bethlehem wasn’t ENTIRELY just Lawrence attempt to make amends, it was also his best effort to “Kill off America once and for all” as Tuello astutely observed.

Audiences wondered why Nick would ask June to go along with Lawrence’s plan and actually go to New Bethlehem, the truth is he was fucking clueless. By this point he was so far under Lawrence’s sway, he couldn’t see the wood for the trees. He’d managed to convince him that it was some sort of Gilead version 2.0 that the UN would immediately embrace with open arms, in which Blaine could live happily ever after with the love of his life. June was devastated, but let’s face it how could she have known that Lawrence had turned Nick from “a puppy” into his lapdog over the last year. Lawrence had already admitted to June that he’d used religious nut jobs as a delivery system to save humanity, so it should have come as no surprise that he would use the two lovers to bring New Bethlehem to fruition. Many years ago Nick Blaine dug himself a hole and sadly he just kept digging. You want to “stay out of trouble” in Gilead, you’d best pick up a shovel. The way he saw it; June had a family who loved her, a family to return to, so he let her go and got settled in the pit. Nick and June’s meeting in 5 09 was one of those moments that made it painfully clear, not only how much Blaine loves her, but how desperately he needs her.

You could have killed her.

“It wasn’t my decision” Lawrence yelps at Nick as he takes a vicious right hook from the young commander. Personally I’m not sure if I believe him or not, suffice to say he knew about it, he did nothing to stop it, he purposefully hid it from Blaine, and MOST importantly, he should have known better. June has left a trail of dead commanders in her wake and it was only 10 episodes prior that she and Blaine dragged Fred into a forest to die. Usually I’d be giving Lawrence snaps for his intelligence but it was just one episode prior that June had officially “broken up” with Lawrence, with the understanding that they were “Never ever ever, getting back together”. This was a massive blunder. We’re 5 seasons in, because the plot demands it June’s basically unkillable and the word on the street is always, ALWAYS keep your fucking hands off June Osborn. It tends to make Blaine a tad bit grumpy.

Nick Blaine is, for all intents and purposes, a trained assassin obsessively in love with the mother of his child. Lawrence knew this, he’d just spent the better part of the last 2 seasons pushing Nick’s patented Osborne key whenever he wanted him to comply. Why the actual fuck did he think he’d get away with it? At the start of 5 10 we saw a massive red flag, a verbal tussle between the two about Osborne, it was clear; she was the rock that would break them apart. Up until that point he’d been compliant but now Blaine was starting to get that look in his eyes; deadly, detached, focused.

Stupidly Lawrence had recruited a bagman and assumed it would make him immune from getting very, very dead. Lawrence spent the entirety of S4 and 5 trying to set up a cushy life for Blaine, it even looked like he might be able to lure his precious June back for him, but it was all for naught. As Lawrence so eloquently put it “Gilead’s gonna Gilead” and despite his best efforts, ultimately it did. In Ep10 S5, Blaine strides unresponsive past his pregnant wife, striking his mentor on his wedding day in a room full of commanders, protesting June Osborn’s assassination attempt. This singular act is a violent and decisive rejection of Gilead’s guiding hand, its binding social contract, its hierarchy and its influence. It is one massively definitive statement, all condensed into the space of 10 seconds. This scene transported me all the way back to S1 when June cried incredulously to Nick that she couldn’t believe she told the Ambassador she was happy. “You’re being too hard on yourself, you were in a room full of commanders” he replies. June’s first act of rebellion is to share her true name with the other Handmaid’s and it is at that point that she share’s it with Blaine. It is here he takes his first small step as a rebel when he chooses to keep her secret and never use her slave name again.

This blow and his march across the border marks the final step in his journey to true rebellion. Where previously his loyalties had been somewhat divided, he now belongs completely and utterly to June and Mayday. Throughout the seasons Blaine has constantly displayed a need for guidance from a father figure and it’s been interesting to note how the personality of this father figure changes over time as his loyalties shift and he regains his freedom. Waterford is cold and brutal, conditioning Blaine to be servile and militant. Lawrence is a cunning, political animal, who tutors Blaine in the Machiavellian like maneuverings of the Gilead upper echelons. Ultimately though it is Tuello, the gentle diplomat who will teach Nick his individual worth and offer him sanctuary. Season 6, I can guarantee, the Nick / Lawrence bromance will officially be well and truly over.

Next time we'll be looking at our love triangle and character themes. See you then.

[bookpublisher1]

Overcoming Writer's Block

Overcoming Writer's Block: Strategies and Inspiration from Fellow Authors

Writer's block is the dreaded nemesis of authors, a seemingly insurmountable barrier that can strike at any stage of the creative process. It's the moments when inspiration feels elusive, words refuse to flow, and the blank page taunts you. Every writer, from beginners to seasoned professionals, has experienced it. But the good news is that it's not an unbeatable foe. In this blog, we'll explore strategies and find inspiration from fellow authors to overcome writer's block and reignite your creative spark.

Understanding Writer's Block

Writer's block is often misunderstood as a singular, monolithic entity. In reality, it comes in various forms and can be triggered by different factors. Some common manifestations of writer's block include:

1. Blank Page Syndrome: You sit down to write, but the blank page stares back at you, devoid of words or ideas.

2. Self-Doubt: Insecurities about your writing abilities can paralyze your creativity. You second-guess every word you put on paper.

3. Stagnation: You feel stuck in your story, unable to progress or find a way forward.

4. Lack of Ideas: You may have a concept or outline, but the well of ideas has run dry, leaving you without a clear direction.

5. Perfectionism: The quest for perfection in your writing can lead to an overwhelming fear of making mistakes, stifling your progress. Here are few tips on How To Overcome The Fear Of Rejection As A Writer

Strategies to Overcome Writer's Block

1. Start Writing, Any Writing: The most important step to overcome writer's block is to write. Anything. It could be a journal entry, a random thought, or a few lines of unrelated text. The act of writing, regardless of the content, can help break the mental barriers.

2. Set Realistic Goals: Instead of aiming to write a thousand words in one sitting, set achievable, smaller goals. Tell yourself you'll write for 15 minutes or just one paragraph. The sense of accomplishment when you meet these goals can motivate you to continue.

3. Change Your Writing Environment: Sometimes, a change in scenery can do wonders. If you usually write at your desk, try writing outdoors, in a café, or even in a different room. New surroundings can stimulate creativity.

4. Writing Prompts: Writing prompts are a fantastic way to jumpstart your creative thinking. They provide a topic or a starting point to get your creative juices flowing. Many websites and books offer an array of writing prompts to choose from.

5. Exercise and Mindfulness: Physical activity and mindfulness practices, such as meditation or yoga, can help clear your mind and reduce stress. A fresh, relaxed mind is more likely to overcome writer's block.

6. Read and Research: Sometimes, reading a book, article, or research related to your topic can reignite your passion and ideas. It exposes you to new perspectives and can provide the spark you need to continue writing. Few more tips on becoming Productive Writer

Inspiration from Fellow Authors

One of the most reassuring aspects of writer's block is that you're not alone. Fellow authors have been there, struggled through it, and emerged victorious. Let's take inspiration from their experiences and advice:

1. Margaret Atwood: The renowned author of "The Handmaid's Tale" suggests that writer's block often stems from a lack of motivation, which can be solved by setting and meeting small, manageable goals. She says, "If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word."

2. J.K. Rowling: The creator of the "Harry Potter" series acknowledges that writer's block is a common issue even for prolific authors. She advises writers to avoid self-criticism during the first draft and just get the words on paper.

3. Ernest Hemingway: Hemingway believed in stopping at a point where you still know what will happen next in your writing, so you can easily pick up where you left off. This tactic can prevent the feeling of stagnation and fear of the unknown.

4. Stephen King: The author of numerous bestsellers advocates for consistency. He says, "Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration; the rest of us just get up and go to work." Establishing a daily writing routine can be a powerful weapon against writer's block.

5. Maya Angelou: The late poet and author emphasized the importance of showing up to write regularly. She advised, "What I try to do is write. I may write for two weeks 'the cat sat on the mat, that is that, not a rat,' ... I must write it down."

Seek Support from Writing Communities

If you're still battling writer's block despite trying various strategies, consider reaching out to writing communities. Fellow authors can provide encouragement, feedback, and inspiration. Joining writing groups, participating in writing challenges, or attending workshops can connect you with like-minded individuals who understand your struggles.

Moreover, sharing your experiences with fellow authors can be liberating. It reminds you that writer's block is a common affliction and not a testament to your abilities. It's a temporary roadblock, not an insurmountable obstacle.

In Conclusion

Writer's block is a formidable adversary, but it can be defeated with determination and the right strategies. Understanding its different forms, setting realistic goals, changing your writing environment, using prompts, and practicing mindfulness are effective tactics to overcome it.

Draw inspiration from accomplished authors who have faced writer's block and emerged victorious. Their experiences and advice can serve as beacons of hope during your own writing struggles.

Remember, writing communities are there to support you. Sharing your challenges and triumphs with fellow authors can provide the motivation and encouragement needed to break through writer's block and continue on your creative journey. Writer's block is not the end of your story; it's just one more obstacle to overcome on your path to becoming a successful writer.

[juneandnick]

Make A Wish - Season 6

I do not know if in the scripts (or in the books) we know something about the degree of friendship between Nick and Rita. Or if they were just two people who worked for the Waterfords and were just nice each other everytime they met.

During season 5, I would have liked to see June and Rita talk about Nick. Especially after seeing him at Fred's funeral but not only. I would have thought Rita would be worried for him. Unfortunately, the writing of her character suggests otherwise.

In another context, we could have seen Rita offering to cook tuna and June smiling, lost in thought, remembering this moment Nick confessed to her:

- Oh, then you should definitely avoid the tuna ... I just do not like it very much.

June would have pointed out that just like her father, Holly does not like it at all.

I am disappointed that Rita does not seem to care about those still in Gilead, the other Marthas. That her friendship with June looks non-existent now they are in Canada. I wish Rita was June’s confidante instead of being Luke’s groupie.

What happened to her? The one who dared to drink a sip of champagne at Serena's baby shower in full view of everyone: Wives, Aunts, Handmaids, Marthas and June. An example of an act of rebellion, a perfect: F*** you Gilead.

"Serving those who are not only the architect of my prison, but of Gilead itself, took everything I had. Until I discovered that being part of the resistance, dedica-ted to making everyone free, would take even more."

Rita Blue

In season 6, I really hope to see Rita get involved in the resistance to help these still at Gilead. In some way, I would love she will help Nick (who will be still at Gilead).

Maybe she could also be around when Osblaine will have to entrust Holly to a foster family. Let us not forget that Rita is the little girl’s Godmother.

I think I would like to see one or two flashbacks. I do not know which ones yet. In any case, moments of complicity between Nick and Rita. Do you have some ideas?

Maybe when Rita caught Nick stealing coffee while June was at the Boston Globes. Threatening to denounce him to Fred with a little smile. Before to suggest him to take some muffins because she cooked a few too many: You should take some blueberry muffins, they are her favorite, she whispers. Then she leaves the kitchen.

Source GIF: https://splitscreen.tumblr.com Source Picture: Screenshot S2E04 (by me)

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Hey there!

I wanted to post that for a while so, here we are.

Wondering who’s behind this blog?

Here’s something about me under the cut:

• I identify as a woman, my pronouns are she/her

• Born and raised in Italy, I still live there.

• I’m 141 LOL but according to people I still look like I’m in my 30s so let me indulge in that, thank you very much.

• I don't think there's anyone who makes me more feral than Joel Miller. I just can’t help it. My (un)holy Pedro characters triad is Joel, Oberyn and Peña 💕 (immediately followed by Frankie)

• I have a little elephant pendant that I always wear, no one knows what it's about *wink*

• I’m Leo Sun, Libra Rising and Aries Moon. You scared? I promise I don’t bite, unless explicitly requested 😏

• I’m Bi/Pan as fuck, always been obviously but I realized only last year. LOL, better late than never i guess. I only have problems with cisgender white males because I mean… they’re the worst, okay, I don’t make the rules.

• Single, unmarried, not interested in having kids even a little bit, I prefer to be the cool auntie.

• I love cooking and I'm quite good at it, I had good genes from my Italian grandmas 😌

• I can’t function without coffee, especially in the morning. I take my coffee bitter with just a little bit of milk.

• I can’t stand lies, the phrase “oh I didn't tell you so as not to make you suffer” (UGH, no you didn’t tell me ‘cause you’re a fucking coward and that’s it, my friend), misogyny, racism, fascism, homophobia, bi-erasure, any other form of verbal or physical violence towards LGBTQIA+ people, injustice in general, if you are any of the above you are not welcome here or in my life.

• I love dogs. I have a poodle named Brienne after the GOT character, she’s 5 years old so that means she got me through pandemic and she’s my love and joy. Isn’t she adorable? Yes, she is.

• I’m unfortunately allergic to cats (yep, like Pedro) and can’t pet them unless I wish for an asthma attack. That sucks, I know.

• I have deep brown curly hair, brown eyes and I’m short (158 cm).

• I have a lot of freckles, you could go on a treasure hunt following them.

• I’ve been to more than 100 concerts in my life including some festivals abroad.

• I currently listen to Hozier and Chappell Roan on a daily basis. I also love Billie Eilish, used to be a big Muse fan (listen, their first albums were great, okay) plus I’m a sucker for ‘90/‘00 music ‘cause that’s the music I grew up with.

• I love beer more than wine.

• I love reading, I used to read all the time, I have less time to do it now and it bothers me so much. I’m still reading fanfiction though. 🤭

• I’m a sucker for True Crime Podcasts, I only listen to Italian ones for now so unless you’re Italian you don’t know my faves and it’s a pity ‘cause they’re really good.

• Cults scare the shit out of me but at the same time they’re one of the things that makes me more curious ‘cause my mind can’t really comprehend what happens in people’s mind when they get sucked into them.

• Some tv series I love in no particular order: The Last of Us, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Lost, The Handmaid’s Tale, Bojack Horseman, GOT (until seasons 7 & 8 happened 💀), Sense 8, Jane the Virgin, Grace and Frankie, Narcos, Only Murders in the building, The Bear, Succession, The Morning Show, Friends, Stranger Things (mostly because Jim Hopper is there, certainly not for those z*onists, you know), Mad Men, Gilmore Girls (Luke Danes *cough*), Mindhunter, Peaky Blinders (huge Tommy Shelby’s slut, don’t look at me like that, okay), My Brilliant Friend, The Affair, Black Mirror (until last seasons happened but it used to be one of the greatest things ever), The Walking Dead (got bored halfway through season 9, I recently started a rewatch and I hope to get to the very end of it lol), Fleabag, Normal People, When They See Us, Hill House, Bly Manor, Midnight Mass, Chernobyl.

• Films I love in no particular order: Parasite, Aftersun, Past Lives, All of Us Strangers, Brokeback Mountain, Almost Famous, The Goonies, Stand By Me, The Breakfast Club, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Lobster, The Neon Demon, Midsommar, One Day, When Harry Met Sally, There’s still tomorrow, Strange Way of Life, Prospect, The Banshess of Inisherin, Coco, The Emperor’s New Groove (so underrated), Mommy, The Virgin Suicides, Girls Interrupted, Saltburn, Promising Young Woman, Little Women (1994), Gone Girl, Shoplifters, Bin-Jip 3 Iron, Love Me If You Dare, The Piano, Fried Green Tomatoes, Notorious, Some like it Hot, Rear Window and you can ask for my Letterboxd account for more.

• Bad weather makes me sad and melancholy.

• I obviously love Italian cuisine with all my heart but I also love to try new dishes especially when I’m abroad. I love chocolate and I have a sweet tooth in general but there’s nothing I crave more than good carbs (I can be happy with a slice of good bread or focaccia). I love spicy food but I can't handle it when it’s very very spicy.

• I love bags, I have so many bags and I still want more lol

• When I was a kid I wanted to be a writer or a journalist. What do I do now? I’m a secretary LOL (I also have a second job not related to writing as well)

• As a friend, I’m loyal to the bone, I could do anything for you if I love you. If you betray me real bad though don’t expect a second chance, I mean I could try but I know i can’t ‘cause you’re changed forever in my eyes.

• I have so many kinks, you can ask if you want to know, okay. Also, so many authors here are responsible for giving me new ones. I love you deeply.

If you want to know more my asks and dm are open!

Here’s a little bit of me, byeeeee.

[ericdeggans]

My Best TV of 2022: A (Unexpectedly) Long List

This is not a problem I expected to have, early in 2022.

Back then, the quality of TV shows was so disappointing, I considered writing one of those cranky, old-school critic’s columns complaining about how the glut of shows in our modern, streaming-fueled media environment was ruining everything.

I should have just waited around a bit. Because, even though I was mightily disappointed by some of the biggest TV projects on the docket – everything from CNN+ to Lords of the Rings: Rings of Power (the repetition in the title should have been warning enough) – lots more TV shows surprised and delighted me this year. Too many to fit on a top ten or top 12 list.

In fact, there were too many to fit on this excellent roundup prepared by me and five other critics at NPR.org (we each got about eight choices). And I will fess up now – I didn’t vibe with FX’s Reservations Dogs in its first season, so I didn’t keep up with the second and it’s not on my list. Many apologies to devoted fans of a show I’m very glad exists and so many love. But I’m not among you devotees (at least not yet).

Here's my list of fave shows from 2022, in no particular order. It’s by design very subjective, so I welcome debate, but it’s about what touched ME on TV this year:

Andor (Disney+) – Started slow, but turned into a masterful reinvention of the Star Wars universe, focused on the gritty, merciless beginnings of the Rebel Alliance. Who knew a Star Wars show with no lightsabers, no Jedi Knights and no Force could be just what the franchise needed? REVIEW

Atlanta (FX/Hulu) – The last two seasons, both released this year, weren’t nearly as impactful as its first two. But this show remains an excellent showcase for creativity and ambitious storytelling in portraying the lives of a quartet of Black millennials.

Here’s a Q&A I moderated w/Atlanta cast and producers at SXSW

Better Call Saul (AMC) – This Breaking Bad spinoff stuck the landing in series finale that capped both the origin AND ending stories of criminal lawyer Saul Goodman. REVIEW

Abbott Elementary (ABC) – Sidesplitting mockumentary-style comedy about teaching in a Philadelphia school that is so good, because it’s absurd humor is so close to the actual truth. PROFILE of star Quinta Brunson.

The Patient (Hulu) – Steve Carrell delivers his most impressive dramatic role as a therapist interrogating his own messy personal history while kidnapped and forced to help a serial killer. REVIEW.

The U.S. and the Holocaust (PBS) -- Star documentarian Ken Burns reveals how antisemitism in America busted the myth that the U.S. was always on the side of the angels as Adolf Hitler took power in Germany and began implementing his Final Solution.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (Paramount+) – Focused on the Starship Enterprise 10 years before James T. Kirk would take command, it’s a welcome return to a rollicking, adventure-a-week series that recalls the spirit of the original Trek series better than any other modern reboot/revival. REVIEW

Severance (Apple TV+) - for review, click here

Only Murders in the Building (Hulu) - REVIEW

Euphoria (HBO) - for review, click here 

A League of Their Own (Prime Video) -REVIEW

This is Us (NBC) - interview w/creator Dan Fogelman here

Sidney (Apple TV +) - REVIEW here

Under the Banner of Heaven (FX/Hulu) - for review, click here

We Own This City (HBO) - for interview w/EP David Simon, click here

Barry, season three (HBO) - for review, click here

Stranger Things (Netflix) - REVIEW

We Need to Talk About Cosby (Showtime) - PCHH discussion here

Harley Quinn (HBO Max) - 

The Sandman (Netflix)

As We See It (Prime Video) - REVIEW

The Good Fight (Paramount+)

The Dropout (Hulu) - 

The Crown (Netflix) - DISCUSSION here

The Handmaid’s Tale, season 5 (Hulu)

Ozark, season 4 (Netflix) - REVIEW here

Ms. Marvel (Disney+)

[thehandmaidsdaily]

With a new last name, Naomi is stepping into the spotlight. Ever Carradine has been promoted to a series regular for the upcoming sixth and final season of Hulu’s flagship drama The Handmaid’s Tale.

Carradine joined The Handmaid’s Tale in Season 1, recurring as Naomi Putnam while being a series regular on another Hulu series, Marvel’s Runaways. Over the past five years, Carradine has appeared in 20 episodes of the dystopian drama as Naomi who was married to Commander Putnam (Stephen Kunken). She is the adoptive mother of a daughter that their Handmaid, Janine (Madeline Brewer), gave birth to. Widowed in Season 5, Naomi married Commander Lawrence (Bradley Whitford), taking his name.

Season 6 of The Handmaid’s Tale is stated to begin production this summer for 2025 debut.

[scarlettatg]

Very interesting article on who is Nick

(Thank you to the awesome person that taggued me on the twitter post, much appreciated).

I’m glad the article dwells on Nick’s complicated past because it’s not something many people seem to understand. I think that even as ambiguous as the show loves to present him, we have gotten puzzle pieces that paint us a picture of who he is. Most of the complaints stem from him not doing enough against the system but that could be debated. We have mostly seen him do things for June because most people take risks for the people they love. Once they lose everything (like for example June) then they become reckless and their fight becomes more against the system/revenge. Yet his involvement with Mayday has been shown (contraband - June’s first escape - June’s second escape - Martha convo in 405 - Hannah’s file)

We also don’t know what he knew after he took the job Pryce offered, what he saw and what he was forced to do; or even if he was on board at first only to realize it had been a mistake. We only see him driving the commanders after the take over had happened, precisely discussing the handmaid situation. We can assume he knew about the rounding up of woman, but we can also assume he didn’t. After all some people outside of Gilead believe Handmaids volunteer (Mexican ambassador) or that it’s a punishment (Omar’s wife). We also know a lot of people were forced to comply or die (American soldier that speaks with Moira after crossing the border). We do know that he is NOT a Gilead believer. Why he stays, what’s he been doing is not something the show has given us clarity to. Like I said we have puzzle pieces throughout the seasons to sort of build his character.

It’s also because Nick is a man and currently a Commander. A lot of people think men cannot be victims in a patriarchal society and I disagree. Yes they are in a privileged position but they’re still victims. Even those in power aren’t safe either, especially if you don’t seem loyal or if they want your position. People forget 2 things. He didn’t start off as a commander, he was a driver - low class. Then he became an Eye (after the first handmaid killed herself) and his promotions clearly came after specific events. Concern over June’s mental health and holding up Fred so that June could escape the second time. To me they clearly looked like punishments, direct consequences of his decision to help June. Not one scene shows Nick working towards moving up the ranks. I personally think certain things June has told Nick throughout the seasons have pushed him to do more, especially her call out in S3 “what are you good for”, but that’s my perspective. Besides once the promotion is given it’s not like he could’ve been thanks but no thanks - that’s highly suspicious.

Another thing people discuss is his involvement in the take over. Once again it’s not something that we have been shown. We can assume he participated but I cannot believe he was essential to the success of the operation. If he was such an important piece of the puzzle he wouldn’t have started as a driver. He would’ve stayed as a military officer, prob not a commander because of his lower class pre Gilead, his age and he wasn’t a main player in the SOJ.

Another thing that’s interesting to me is that we know Nick was young when the take over happened. Let’s say between 18-21 so his young adult male life was shaped by Gilead, which is extremely misogynistic. It’s easier to shape young men into hating women or making them believe they are superior to us. We see how the guardians act, the Commanders - the disdain towards “unwomen”. Yet from my perspective I do not see Nick as misogynistic at all.

Yes I enjoy the romantic aspect of Nick and June, but I do enjoy the complexities of Nick’s character outside of June. I’ve always seen him as the least misogynistic male character of the show and as a character that represents so many things that open discussions of topics that are rarely discussed.

[sometimesoliloquy]

The Handmaid’s Tale 5x09 “Allegiance”(or “Are We There Yet?”👀

 Ok, first of all I would like to know who the heck butchered the closed captions in this episode, I usually keep them on for clarity but this time it was just confusingly distracting; there were so many wrong word usages I thought I was reading Twilight. Secondly, I would like to know who butchered Nick's beautiful hair, and can I have a word with his barber. Thirdly, I would like to know how they plan to try and wrap up all these season 5 storylines (gently guided towards The Testaments) in less than an hour, especially when they've spent like 60% of the season solely on Luke making sad and/or annoyed faces.

Mark Tuello is giving June and Luke a briefing of the Hannah rescue mission as they walk through a military airplane hangar. He introduces them to Commander (yeah I did a double take at that, too) Elijah Vance, who is so alarmingly attractive that for a second I wonder if they've decided to add a third love interest for June and make it a lop-sided pentagram(?). But then he tells June that he's going to bring back Hannah and return to his own daughter, with a reassuring nod of his very attractive head, so of course we immediately know he's definitely not going to make it. June once again bullies Mark into something he probably definitely should not be doing, demanding he let her and Luke watch the live feed of the raid, which I would assume is supposed to be super high level clearance (Mark is such a softie, he just can't say no! At least not to blondes).

Serena is having Mommy & Me glamour shots taken for the fertility center, under the strict direction of a slightly manic Mrs. Wheeler (is it just me or is she getting more and more unhinged?), who is feeling very bossy today in her big-girl pants. Alanis ixnay's Serena's plan to be at the grand opening with baby Noah. She is not worried about Gilead Commanders, but she is worried about germs. And breastfeeding. She wants "her smart boy" to go back on the bottle so as not to bond too much with the handmaid because he surely must miss it. Serena towers over Mrs. W about to strike back, but then remembers who is wearing the (very small) pants and utilizes June's advice. The passive-aggression in this scene alone could fuel a month of PTA  meetings. Back at Commander Lawrence's, Aunt Lydia's new matchmaking service is now in full swing. Well, I guess it's not new, just expanded from matchmaking sex slaves handmaids with rapists commanders, to now matching fresh widows with their husbands' killers. Lawrence is panicking because Naomi is 2 minutes late (he would hate me), but finally she arrives for her audience with the king commander, for some reason seeming a bit apprehensive (no idea why). She goes very quickly from begging not to be booted off to the colonies, to humbly lobbying for just a nice little condo for her and little Charlotte, but Lawrence is "not her realtor,” goddamnit, I mean doesn't Naomi know a romantic and heartfelt marriage proposal when she hears one? Luckily, Yenta Lydia is there to help translate, and Naomi says what we're all thinking "this is a marriage proposal??" Yep.yep! Done being the most awkward we’ve ever seen him (for now), Jlaw tells her to mull it over and excuses himself for "work". Lydia counsels her to overlook the small silly little matter of her prospective fiance having had her husband shot in the head in the middle of brunch like a week ago, and she warily says she'll think about it. Lawrence eavesdrops and I can't really tell if he's hoping she'll say yes, or praying to whatever esoteric god of economics he believes in that she'll say no. It's nighttime at the Wheelers, and Serena's putting a bottle for Noah in the fridge, when she gets an idea. Taking a page straight from June’s Handmaid playbook, she decides to pay Mr. Wheeler a little visit in his office to try and get him on her side (if Mom says no, ask Daddy, amirite?). Unfortunately for her he's a bit smarter than Fred (and also still pretty pissed she played him and shot his driver), and he sees right through her buttering up. He's a practical man, though, and being a businessman as well (I guess, I actually have no idea what he really does besides Gilead cosplay, does anyone?), he also appreciates a good sales pitch. He says he'll consider her proposal to play God's fertile vessel messenger or whatever at the center's opening reception and promptly dismisses her with his eyes. Serena says "praise be" but Mr. Wheeler did not graduate from Gilead commander college, so he just responds with a super enthused "oh yeah”, and Serena leaves, satisfied with her small victory (over her small oppressor).  June and Luke arrive at the command center to watch the live feed of the raid. Mark directs them to the screen showing a birds' eye view of "all the activity at Hannah's school" and June stares in awe at being the closest she's been to Hannah since the glass box incident, and the closest she's been to getting her back, ever. As she's drawn closer to the screen and emotionally whispers out to Hannah, we hear girls' collective bedtime prayers fade in and cut to Hannah standing in the prayer circle with her classmates. As the camera zooms out we get a glimpse of their dorm (I guess, for lack of a better word?). It actually  reminded me a lot of the red center except instead of rows of cots they have cute & cozy little white lace-curtained glamping tents arranged in a circle. At least they would be super cute and cozy if they weren't basically transparent, merely offering the deceptive suggestion of privacy. And, you know, if the whole concept weren't so damn creepy. Inside her preteen bride glamping tent, Hannah appears to say her own silent prayer, and then looks cautiously over to the Aunt on duty before opening her picture-bible (since no words, and stuff). She turns the pages from--interestingly--the story of NOAH and the ark (hmm) to the Tower of Babel and Abraham sacrificing Isaac... She finally turns to a blank page and I start thinking "Omg is she going to write something??" and I'm getting all excited but then she pulls out a drawing of flowers in a spiral pattern (which brings to mind “precious flowers” in The Testaments) and I'm like oh she's just drawing, that's cool too, and I mean she obviously likes gardening so I guess she likes flowers, and wait, is drawing forbidden too, is that not considered a "wifely" art or is it too close to writing since technically you're using an implement also used for writing and I'm so wrapped up in these thoughts that I almost miss when she actually does pick up a pencil and smiles wistfully as she WRITES(!!) "HANNAH", signing her name (her REAL NAME, AHHH) at the bottom of the drawing. At this point I have so many questions, but I'm also crying too hard to concentrate on any of them. This is all intercut with June's rapt tear-filled eyes glued to the screen and the sound of the pilots' transmission... when all of a sudden alarms sound, the signal is lost, and the civilians are kicked out of the war room. Tuello eventually emerges into the hallway and tells them the girls are safe... but still at the school (so short-term safe anyway I guess). Gilead had anticipated the raid and all three planes were shot down by their anti-aircraft systems, no survivors (RIP, hot good-guy commander, tragically we barely knew thee!). Cut to June's devastated face.

Back on her porch, June's phone rings and it's Lawrence, who she does not sound very pleased to hear from. He protests that he "was trying to avoid all this bloodshed" and some other Gilead nonsense, and FUCK, of course it was a Jlaw set-up!! So he sent the video of Hannah, I have to think it was his" insurance policy" to get June to New Bethlehem. If she she somehow didn't turn it over to Tuello, he would know he had her hooked on relocating; if she did and the Americans used the metadata to plan something (as they  did), he would be ready and make sure it failed (as he did), and there he would be to again offer her NB (as he does), as her last and only resort to be close to Hannah. He sweetens the pot by "dangling Nick in front of her" and while she's super pissed that he's also now trying to use Nick and her feelings for him to manipulate her, she seems to actually be considering it for a second. Until he reveals that there's another catch now: he wants her to denounce the American military action to feed the Gilead propaganda machine. And THAT is a deal breaker. She calls him out on being "one of them" despite knowing better and when he does the "blah blah I'm making it better for Eleanor blah blah" thing, June verbally nut punches him in the heart saying that Eleanor hated him and was so ashamed she'd rather die and she watched her die and oh man I never thought we'd see this confession out of her to be honest, and it is intense! Lawrence is crying and honestly it's hard not to feel a little bad for him here even though it's pretty much the truth and I think deep down he knew it too (I mean I'm pretty sure we literally saw Eleanor tell him she hated him and try to shoot him). Then he says that Eleanor still would have wanted him to help June and Hannah (which is true) but he means he's gonna "help" by bringing June to New Bethlehem, not by actually doing the right thing (like Eleanor would have actually wanted), so it's pretty clear he's really just still trying to use her for his greater plan. She makes one last tearful attempt to beg him, in vain, and then tells him he can go fuck himself, and herself proceeds to fuck up her garden in an anguished fury. Luke comes running out of the house and human-straitjackets her and I assume he's trying to be helpful and calm her down but it was painful to watch June physically restrained and begging to be let go. I also suspect her "please let me go" has a deeper meaning, but I've been thinking along those same lines for multiple seasons without fruition so who knows. Just as Serena is about to once again escape the Wheeler house for her big fertility debut, Mrs. Wheeler comes stomping out in her new Reformation dress and promptly bitchslaps her, twice. Did Serena turn the other cheek? Maybe, but only because she didn’t have a choice. I have to admit I burst out laughing here because honestly, compared to all the misdirected abuse she perpetrated on June and Rita, I think she got off light here, and I'm not above a little schadenfreude. Mrs. W is super pissed that Serena went behind her back to get Mr. W's permission, and even more pissed that this slut sluttily snuck into Mr. Wheeler's study after hours! She indignantly demands to know just who Serena thinks she is, and uh, duh she thinks she’s June, obviously. Mrs. W is now coming with (GET IN, BTCH, we're going Gileading), and this is gonna be a fun field trip.

(well well well, how the turn tables) June goes to see Mark, who is looking very defeated and I do feel very bad for him, Mark needs a win, FFS! She tells him about Jlaw and that she is DONE with that son of a bitch. She's itching to keep fighting and wants to know what's next. Mark asks "what about Nick Blaine"? OH, she’ll never be done with Nick Blaine, sir! NEVER. Sorry, where was I? Oh right. Mark informs her about the offer he proposed to Nick. She's startled, and initially looks maybe concerned at the risks of Nick spying in Gilead, but when Mark tells her that Nick could come to Canada (eventually), could get immunity, the wheels start turning, and an impossible spark of hope lights her eyes. This is clearly something she never thought could happen, and the possibilities it brings up are quite seductive. Mark is all of me when he says “maybe you could persuade him” (GODDAMNIT JUNE, DO WHATEVER IT TAKES, WOMAN). He notes that Nick (an Eye and a Commander) defecting could have a big impact. He adds that June could too, if she were to put her power to use, but she says she doesn't feel comfortable doing that "right now" (same wording as Nick, twinning!). I have to think she's afraid that being more public could possibly put Hannah or Nichole, or both, in danger. She tells Mark to set up the meeting with Nick, and determinedly marches off to kick her boo's butt for turning down that ticket to Canada.

(Ok but what about now... How bout now... Now?)

At the Gilead "fertility center", Serena is holding court to a gaggle of impressionable, baby-hungry women and espousing the wonders of Gilead fertility. "There was a lot of heartache and disappointment" is an interesting euphemism for "we committed treason, mass genocide and then enslaved all the remaining women to either make them human incubators or our unpaid domestic help", but alright. Really, she swears though, it's the clean air and prayer. Also on display is a propaganda poster of a woman with perfect golden locks of fanned out hair, smiling beatifically at her plump new baby, because motherhood is very glamorous (said no mother ever). "Smiling" through her teeth, Mrs. Wheeler summons Serena to send her home, without Noah, and tomorrow “I’ll bring Noah by myself".  Ok, Alanis, yesterday you didn't  want him exposed to all those germs, but I guess you've forgotten this. But the little guy has to be fed first and uh oh, Serena didn't pack a bottle. The sweet nanny (martha?) jumps in to take the blame (oh NO, girl, she doesn't deserve this kindness from you!). Mrs. W wants Serena to be snappy about it, but Mr. W suggests it's up to bb Noah and is then quickly reminded of who wears the pants, even though he is currently literally wearing the pants, as Mrs. W shoots him a look that instantly withers his testicles. As Serena walks to the back for a private place to nurse, we see the wheels turn in that scheming head of hers. At Serena's request, kind nanny leaves her alone, and now I am very worried for kind nanny's health and safety and I wish they had given her a name because I feel weird just calling her "kind nanny". But anyway, I hope she doesn't get punished for Serena's scheming, because as soon as the door closes Serena is out the back exit and running headlong into traffic with her precious miracle child. After nearly getting run over (she turns to try and shield baby Noah though so I guess her motherly instincts are kicking in), she begs the driver to help her and the very startled purple-haired woman tells her to get in. Looks like this Thelma has found herself a new Louise! It does strike me as yet more irony that this is a person Serena likely would have turned her nose up at in the "before" as a sinful, slutty woman, just because of her appearance. June pulls up to her and Nick's "special place" at the old Mary Magdalena school, and damn it looks so different, all green and teeming with foliage and birds chirping; it's really a beautiful setting. I half expect a bird to land on June’s hand while she sings to it. Nick is sitting at the top of the stairs smoking (aw, just like old times) as she approaches. He wishes she'd said yes, taking her (and me!) aback. "To Lawrence's offer?' (yeah wtf, seriously, Nick?). She counters, demanding to know why he said no to Tuello's offer. She's pissed, and he's defensive, and they argue about which one of them is going to move in this long distance relationship. And then Nick drops the bombshell: Rose is pregnant, which suddenly silences June. She struggles with a complex mixture of emotions, from the gut punch that this revelation is to her heart, to relief that he won't have to navigate the handmaid issue, and finally seems to come to the realization and acceptance of what that means; that he will not be coming to Canada and (at least for now) is tied down to Gilead. Though he's still reacting a bit defensively about "doing what's best for his family", the gentle and simple understanding she shows quickly brings down his guard (as if he could ever keep that up with her!) and he approaches (as if they could ever keep that much physical distance from each other!). They contemplate the mess of it all and look at each other with major heart eyes. Nick inevitably glances down at her lips and in my head I start singing "Kiss the Girl" from the Little Mermaid but goddamnit no luck. Nick sighs emotionally and asks her to tell Nicole she loves her and thinks about her all the time (stop, I'm sobbing). He's looking down like it's too hard to look at her, and saying he should go like he really doesn't want to, and June disarms him again with a small joke. They go all googly-eyed again and say "I love you" to each other in the most heartbreakingly matter-of-fact way (I'm sobbing even harder now). He takes a breath and leans in juust a hair (yes! sha-la-la-la kiss de girl!)...and then maddeningly veers at the last second, leaving June breathless and me like the wailing face emoji. I guess I get it though. It's like if he allowed himself to give in to the smallest touch his resolve would crumble and he'd never be able to tear himself away. STILL EFFING HEARTBREAKING, though. "Hey Nick" she calls softly, still flustered but calm and smiling warmly. "Children look up to their fathers. Set an example" (yes, you realign that Blaine moral compass, girl!). He looks at her thoughtfully, and walks away (nooo). I wonder if he's thinking also of Nichole again (and not just the child he plans on being able to raise) and being internally devastated again (ok, jesus, can I please stop crying yet?). June does that thing she does a lot recently after talking to Nick where she's breathless and crying and smiling and heartbroken and happy all at the same time. It's a detail I love about these two: the way they have specific little body languages that are exclusive only to being around each other

(I’m sorry, can we just look at these heart-eyes again?)

Later on, a super lively engagement party is going on at Lawrence's lair of darkness house (christ, these people could really use a good drinking game or something to get things going, maybe charades?). While the menfolk are busy talking politics and drinking and other things unbecoming of a lady, the women gather in the sitting room and Mrs. McKenzie fawns over a pregnant Rose, telling her how much joy her own (stolen) child has brought to her life. Mrs. Calhoun, meanwhile, is a real negative nancy: mean-girling first Aunt Lydia (she can't sit with us!), and then poor Rose, saying some super shitty things about "being concerned about the baby", "considering". Ok, bitch, you stole your baby from a poor brain dead girl you kept "alive" as an incubator, but please, go on. In Lawrence's office, under the fire-lit glow of a beautiful vagina flower painting (no irony deficiency here!), McKenzie, Calhoun and new beardy commander who I guess is kind of important congratulate themselves on their dick swinging military victory and brag about the fun new friends they’re making, like Russia, China and North Korea. Jlaw makes an "Any club that would have me as a member..." reference, but only Nick seems to appreciate the joke. MacKenzie again talks about "taking care of June Osborne" (but like why is he so obsessed with her tho) and Nick and Lawrence have to try and hide their uncomfortable expressions, AGAIN. Having sufficiently bro'ed out, the men join the wives and Nick is a good attentive husband while Jlaw and Naomi stare at each other like they'd rather be anywhere else (I change my mind, send me to the colonies!). MacKenzie toasts Jlaw as "one of us"(yikes). Nick raises his glass but his expression is  contemplative, verging on wary? If Lawrence is indeed  "one of them" now, is there still a "we" to be had with Nick and Lawrence? Or will their interests start conflicting. Hmm hm hm. Nick may be willing to make some concessions if he believes it is for the greater good, and to protect his family, but I have a feeling he'll soon reach his limit. Whereas I think Lawrence has shown he has no such limits, and is willing to do anything to enact his vision, (which he also sees as his redemption). Naomi looks vaguely terrified as Lawrence grips her shoulder in truly the most awkward way possible affectionately, his wedding ring (to Eleanor) prominently displayed on his finger. In Little America, Mark reads off the names of the fallen soldiers at a candlelight vigil, although it's kind of hard to be heard over the obnoxious yelling of asshole protestors (like can you guys take a break for one night?). Tuello calls up Hot Commander Vance's adorable daughter Emma to lead the pledge of allegiance, but the poor sweetie falters under the pressure and all the stupid shouting. June (who's there with Moira, Luke and Rita), asks Emma's tearful mom if she can help, and kneels by the child's side to recite the pledge together. Just when Emma's getting on a roll and the crowd joins in and it starts getting emotional and inspiring and stuff and even I start being like "God bless America!", suddenly shots ring out and the crowd screams and ducks. Sweet little Emma is frozen in fear, but luckily June goes into mega mom mode, slow-mo diving to throw them both to the ground and shield the kid. Bullets rip through the hanging American flag, preeettty much right where they were just standing, so THAT was close. June's face can confirm. *** Allegiance. Sooo many allegiances. They were broken, formed, strained and renewed over the course of the episode. Lawrence definitively demonstrated to June that his allegiance is and always will be to his mission of "reforming" Gilead, trying to correct his mistake and implement his original utopia (without the religious nutjobs), whatever the collateral damage may be (including his own personal wishes). June's first allegiance will always be to her daughters, and her top priority to see them safe (hey hey, the next episode title!). Lawrence is now at odds with this goal, and so instead  she commits to the fight against Gilead, and working with Tuello. Forming, if not an allegiance, than at least an alliance, against their common enemy.  On the surface, it would seem like Nick's allegiance is now to his family, his "new " family with Rose and their baby on the way. But it's bullshit to say that June and Nichole aren't his family, too, as he makes clear to her later. They both understand that they each have people they care about and need to protect, but the fact is it doesn't take away from their bond, and they also reaffirm their allegiance to each other in their "I love you's". While Lawrence and Lydia seem to be strengthening their alliance further into allegiance, Lawrence and Nick's may be becoming strained, and could soon reach a breaking point. As Lawrence further aligns himself with traditional Gilead in order to gain the power to achieve his goals (including forming a marriage allegiance with Naomi), Nick may start to doubt the "vision of a better Gilead" that I think he badly wanted to believe in (as he has his own guilt weighing heavy on his shoulders), either in Lawrence's sincerity or implementation. A reckoning may be coming where Nick has to draw a line in the sand, and I for one can't wait for that. Tally ho to the finale!

[forthisone]

Thoughts after finishing Season 5 of The Handmaid’s Tale last night.

This show hits different now I am a mother. Especially Episode 7, oof.

So these are fresh thoughts after watching the season over a couple of weeks. I haven’t really digested the season yet, haven’t read any commentary etc.

Firstly, I found this season so much easier to watch and less gratuitous, thank you S5 gods for that. Obviously there’s still so much trauma and pain going on but thank you for not subjecting me to multiple torture and rape scenes this season.

Serena

I didn’t hate the Serena stuff. I think probably because I’m fresh out of pregnancy/childbirth… still breastfeeding, etc. They showed how June as a mum (showing concern for Noah’s welfare) trumped the June that hates Serena to death and I liked that. Mothers are powerful. I also appreciated Serena with The Wheelers having a firsthand taste of a slight glimmer of what June had experienced with the Waterfords (obviously not as bad but the panic and fear and anger was there). I’m glad it seems to have finally humbled her and made her realise how fucked up it all was. Like we all thought she got there in 2.13 when she let Nichole go but now she FINALLY IS THERE. As a new mum, I have enjoyed Serena’s arc this season. I can’t think of anything worse than someone keeping me separate from my one month old telling me that they are letting them cry it out all day and night.

Idk I think I just forgot it was Serena honestly and enjoyed the portrayal of a new mum fighting for her baby.

Nick

Oooookay. Lots to unpack.

So when I saw the Rose reveal in episode 1 I was kind of relieved because it seemed like they were kind of friends and maybe Nick wasn’t as trapped as he felt with Eden. Which I think was true. But I would have been a lot more interested to understand their relationship a bit better. I have a lot of question marks still, ten episodes and they barely explored it. That line one of the Wives gives about something genetic inherited with the baby? That was weird. Is that alluding to the future? Or was that just a Wife being a dick, unsure.

Also, the Nick I know and love would never have wished for June to take up Lawrence’s offer of New Bethlehem. The scene in 5.09 was just weird for me. It was like the dodgy uncle of the magic we got in 4.09. Was it the same location too? Maybe?

Still waiting for the scene of Nick having a good cry and I feel they missed a trick with the hospital room scene. We are never going to get it, are we?

Basically my favourite Nick scene of the whole season was Tuello on the bridge with Nick

where he asked about running away with her (ps. I feel like they keep nodding to this “running away together” line and I am here for it, please God let this be a nod to the future? When Nick said “I’m nothing.” And Tuello replies “Not to her.” … god damn if that didn’t tap into my feels from the scene that made this ship an OTP for me. The hospital corridor kids scene in 2.07 where June says “What about you?” and Nick kisses her because just once he feels like somebody to someone.

Also how beautiful was it that he just wanted to see her and kiss her head at the hospital and then essentially that’s all he needs to sign his life away.

I don’t understand why Nick punched Lawrence really (I mean, I understand, but I feel like out of everything, he would have had time after seeing June to regain his composure and put the mask back up). But I can only hope it was in Nick’s plan. Maybe he wants to get transferred somewhere else? Closer to Hannah so he can pass Tuello info? He knows Lawrence owes him a pardon?

Then again I feel like maybe he just finally lost his shit which is understandable. I just didn’t expect it to happen that way. My man is smarter than punching a Commander in front of a room of other Commanders. He knows how to get revenge more subtly. No? Maybe not when it comes to June.

I loved that June thought about Nick before they left the train. Telling Tuello to let him know she and Nichole are safe.

Update: after sleeping on it and speaking to a couple of others, I’ve realised he’s just absolutely done and he doesn’t care about the mask slipping anymore. I don’t think it was impulsive per se as it took a long drive to get to Lawrence’s.

I am interested for where this will take Nick next season but I sincerely sincerrreeely hope he and Janine break out of Eye HQ and start fucking shit up.

Luke and Luke/June

I mean. I’m a Nick fan so. You know. I struggled with the Luke/June stuff this season. It felt a bit like a reversal of where we had got to with Season 4. I’m kind of over the love triangle to be honest but I get that Luke is in her life. He’s not going to disappear. She will always love him. I just felt confused as to where June’s head is at, whereas I didn’t by the end of Season 4. It feels like wasted time.

The scene in 5.9 where he grabbed her to stop her meltdown and she’s like “Please let me go.” I think was telling.

When Luke said in episode 6 “I wish I could have been the guy to come and get you out” HI NICK BLAINE. Oh how I wished he would have showed up and got them out.

I guess Luke kind of did do that in the finale. He got them out. Yeah I’m not the biggest Luke hater, I just see him as sort of Your Average Joe but not right for June anymore. Obviously. But he stepped up a bit in 5.10. At least he saved her from being killed.

Moira

Samira Wiley has been criminally under used this season, that is all. I feel like the writers forgot that Moira was a) a Jezebel and b) also killed a Commander to escape Gilead… so why is she having so much trouble relating to June?

Hannah

I wish they’d got Hannah out and Season 6 could be more about the healing and the aftermath. For all the characters really. I felt June’s pain at taking any opportunity to be near her daughter. I’d be tempted by New Bethlehem too, as mad as that sounds to me. I get it. That whole concept was weird though. And I fear it will reappear in Season 6 and I don’t want it.

Those are main thoughts now. 11pm and I’ve just finished the season.

It felt good to binge a season again, I haven’t done that since Season Two. I think watching the season in one go is better than enduring crumbs slowly week by week.

I’m wondering now if Season 6 can possibly do all I want it too but I’ll gather my wishes for the final season in another post.

What is Nick’s end of the bargain for Tuello letting him see June in hospital? Obviously inside knowledge but how will he get that knowledge now he has exposed himself in Gilead?

[twwpress]

Weekly Press Briefing #35: February 19th - February 25th

Welcome back to the Weekly Press Briefing, where we bring you highlights from The West Wing fandom each week, including new fics, ongoing challenges, and more! This briefing covers all things posted from February 19 - February 25, 2023! Did we miss something? Let us know; you can find our contact info at the bottom of this briefing!

Challenges/Prompts:

The following is a roundup of open challenges/prompts. Do you have a challenge or event you’d like us to promote? Be sure to get in touch with us! Contact info is at the bottom of this briefing.

@thefinestmuffin and @JessBakesCakes hosted a casual Josh/Donna Rom Com Fest that revealed fics on February 14. Submissions are still open and fics can be read here. 

Photos/Videos:

Here’s what was posted from February 19 - February 25.

Amy Landecker posted a video of her and Brad walking their dogs in the rain.

Bradley Whitford posted a photo of a note he received on a flight referencing his role on The Handmaid’s Tale.

Bradley Whitford posted pictures and video from the set of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit to promote his appearance on the show’s episode that aired on February 23. 1 | 2

Bradley Whitford posted a video of Amy Landecker’s appearance on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

Bradley Whitford posted a photo of Amy Landecker and their pets.

Josh Malina posted a photo of himself at rehearsals for Leopoldstat on Broadway.

Josh Malina posted a photo of himself in front of the sign for Leopoldstat.

Marlee Matlin posted photos of her appearance on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and thoughts on the passing of Richard Belzer.

Marlee Matlin posted a photo of herself getting more tattoos.

Rob Lowe posted a photo of himself and his dog.

Donna Moss Daily: February 19 | February 20 | February 21 | February 22 | February 23 | February 24 | February 25

Daily Josh Lyman: February 19 | February 20 | February 21 | February 22 | February 23 | February 24 | February 25

No Context BWhit:  February 19 | February 20 | February 21 | February 22 | February 23 | February 24 | February 25

@janelmilfoney: February 20 | February 21 |February 24 (1) | February 24 (2) 

@schiff0rd: February 19

@JanneyUpdates: February 23 (1) | February 23 (2)

Edits/Artwork:

#JOSHDONNA: hey Stephen (hey donna, Josh’s version) by somethingbuffy [VIDEO EDIT]

This Week in Canon:

Welcome to This Week in Canon, where we revisit moments in The West Wing that occurred on these dates during the show’s run.

Season 1, Episode 16: 20 Hours in L.A. aired on February 23, 2000.

Season 2, Episode 15: Ellie aired on February 21, 2001.

Season 4, Episode 16: The California 47th aired on February 19, 2003.

Season 5, Episode 15: Full Disclosure aired on February 25, 2004.

Season 6, Episode 16: Drought Conditions aired on February 23, 2005.

Editors’ Choice: 

This week we’re rounding up some fics to celebrate the air date of Drought Conditions!

Distraught Conditions by HarmonyLover | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | A continuation of the closet scene in episode 6.16, "Drought Conditions." What if Donna and Josh had been able to talk out their anger right then and there?

When You Need a Friend by nalaa | Rated T | C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler | Complete | After David's death, Toby goes to New York to be with his family. He told his friends that he didn't want them there. Would CJ really leave him to go through all that alone (as it was shown in the episode)?

 Take Five by coffeeplease [archived by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist] | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | Post-ep for Drought Conditions, scenes we didn't see.

 Keeping It Together by HarmonyLover  | Rated T | Josh Lyman & Sam Seaborn | Complete | Sam gets an unexpected call from Josh.

(Or, after his fight with Toby, Josh calls Sam.)

 If it Takes All the Future, We'll Live Through the Past by GinnyK | Not Rated | Josh Lyman, Donna Moss, C. J. Cregg, Toby Ziegler, Jed Bartlet | Complete | Long forgotten post ep for Drought Conditions I found on my hard drive.

From the White House to the campaign fundraiser, Donna tries to help Josh and Toby work through things after their fight in Toby's office. During the process she tries to deal with some of her own things too.

 Fics:

Presenting your weekly roundup of fics posted in the tag for The West Wing on Archive of Our Own. If you are so inclined, please be sure to leave the authors some love in the form of kudos or comments. Be mindful of posted warnings/tags for each story.

Josh/Donna

I Wish I Was by Shinyrosa | Rated M | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

The Wedding Date by Chinesepapercut | Rated M | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

we finally got it all right by mikaylawrites | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

an everlasting love by sam_writes_fics | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

if devotion is a river then i’m floating away by flowersinapril | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

and i'll love you more than anybody can by JessBakesCakes | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

Rapid Fire by spooky_spacegirl | Not Rated | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

don’t talk (put your head on my shoulder) by flowersinapril | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

don’t by lunedecroissant | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

Inevitability by spooky_spacegirl | Not Rated | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

this year’s love by hanyolo | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

and i would give all this (and the good place too) by hanyolo | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | In Progress

The Chain On Your Neck by TemperanceCain for JessBakesCakes | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete

CJ/Danny

The Goal For Which We Long by onekisstotakewithme for daylight_angel, miabicicletta, Luppiters | Rated T | Danny Concannon/C. J. Cregg | Complete

still you never took your hand from mine by Luppiters for mia bicicletta, onekisstotakewithme, theoofoof, French_Fries_59 | Rated T | Danny Concannon/C. J. Cregg | Complete

 Other Pairings/Gen Fic

Wait For Me by imperfectirises | Rated M | Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet | In Progress

it started off with a kiss... now it ended up like this by imawkwardlysoc | Rated G | Sam Seaborn/Original Female Character | In Progress

The Race by Goochie0014 | Rated T | No Pairings Listed | Complete

 Multiple Pairings

The Best of Wives and Best of Women by DeborahSampson1776 | Rated T | Ainsley Hayes/Sam Seaborn, Danny Concannon/C. J. Cregg, Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet, Zoey Bartlet/Charlie Young, Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Cliff Calley/Donna Moss, Andrea Wyatt/Toby Ziegler, Amy Gardner/Josh Lyman | In Progress

Building Love, Building A Future by mlea7675 (Judging Amy crossover) | Rated G | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Helen Santos/Matt Santos | Complete

Not Quite the Parent Trap by eowyn_of_rohan | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Ainsley Hayes/Sam Seaborn | In Progress

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xx, What’s next?

[glasskey]

Nick & June's Mix tape Vol. 2

With season 2 comes volume 2 of our Nick and June mix and it’s an interesting one. Nick and June fall in love, await the arrival of their new bub, fight off numerous enemies and we learn that true love requires absolute sacrifice.

Rebel Handmaid Commander

Watching Nick and June fight at the Boston Globe is absolutely mesmerising. These two have been locked up and forced to behave for so long, now they have the freedom to actually argue (amongst other things…. cough cough) it’s like shaking the can and ripping off the lid. This scene is supercharged from the word go. The sex scene here is raw, real and by ordinary standards, it’s seriously graphic. These two are finally taking a deep breath of one another, instead of whispering sweet nothings and secreting themselves away in clandestine corners. June bites Nick, it’s antagonistic, a sign that they’re not going to be playing nice today. She’s still slightly pissed off and she wants no part of the lawn boy bit, so he’d better bring his A game. Well okay then.

There’s an incredible sense of relief at watching June being able to argue with Nick, the Handmaids hood and its accessories are ashes, and at last after years of being made to be quiet, she’s allowed to actually yell at a man for being an idiot. She’s also not this delicate precious thing in the tower anymore, and Blaine’s finally got the opportunity to have a few choice words of his own. Essentially both of them have grievances and they’re not pulling any punches. It’s clear from June’s new nickname that she’s already earning herself quite a reputation amongst The Eyes as a bit of a trouble maker. As the mother of his child, Nick’s understandably feeling a little antsy about her sticking her neck out so readily for the noose. Given Gilead’s somewhat unforgiving laws, Blaine seems to be a touch vexed that he’s spending a lot of time playing “stubborn or stupid” when it comes to June. But it’s exactly this relentless recklessness that enables her to be the kind of leader, he already sense’s she will become.

June’s rightfully annoyed that, while yes she has been extricated from the Waterford’s clutches, Nick doesn’t seem to have much of an idea as to what’s next. At this point Nicks still finding his feet with Mayday, no doubt he’s always known where to find them when he needs to, but up until now he’s never needed to. In Gilead you need to think two moves ahead and June’s allegation of Nick wanting “to play the hero” is a crack at just how unprepared he is. There’s a definite dig here at his status in the Waterford household as the resident whipping boy who’s suddenly decided that he wants to level up. As with June transitioning from “not being that kind of person” to our Rebel Handmaid Commander it all takes time. Heroes aren’t born, they’re forged through struggle and battle and Blaine’s not even close to being fully formed yet. It’s not until the end of Season 2, when he finally holds his daughter, that we see him begin this journey and it’s only the end of Season 5 that he truly earns a place by her side as a warrior.

Blaine’s definitely not thinking straight, he’s a freshly minted baby daddy who’s freaked out and gone against all of his instincts of self-preservation, to help June make a break for the border. June’s no better, she’s all heart, no head here too. Her love for Hannah completely outweighing any reasonable argument that Nick may have for the remotest chance of success. Ultimately his options are limited to letting her go with a gun or without one. Make no mistake, she was always going to get those keys.

Corinthians

In season 2 we see Blaine cite Corinthians 13:4, a psalm espousing the pure nature of love in front of Fred, Serena and his newly arranged wife, as he looks at June. “Love is patient” according to Corinthians 13:4, in Gilead it has to be, marriage is transactional and love is an inconvenient obstacle to a servant’s higher purpose.

If you were ever under any illusions that Nick was a “free” man, the whole Eden debacle should clarify things for you nicely. A free man doesn’t have to marry a child bride while the woman he loves and the mother of his child watches. That’s just not a thing. Nicks selection of this psalm is a message to June that’s designed to serve as an assurance amongst all the recent emotional rubble, but he’s also hoping to God that some of its actual meaning will penetrate Fred and Serena’s thick skulls. Unfortunately it’s to no avail, to the Waterford’s Corinthians is simply just pretty words and no message.

When Nick reads Corinthians, Serena understands exactly who it’s for and promptly sends June to her room…….like that’s actually going to make a difference. Serena’s maneuverings in this arranged marriage and Eden’s ensuing death are an eerie reflection of her forced conception of Holly and the ultimate theft of Nick and June’s dream for a family through the appropriation of their child.

Eden’s death is a metaphor for the destruction of paradise, her recitation of Corinthians 13:4 just prior to her death brings into sharp relief Gilead’s ruthless annihilation of beauty. Eden’s refusal to apologise for, lie about or relinquish Isaac, speaks loudly of the absolute unselfish sacrifice of true love. Nick may not give a fuck about himself but he loves June entirely and refuses to see her dead, however painful, he resolves to give her up.

Serena has observed the progression of Nick and June’s relationship and decided enough is enough, it’s now reached threat level 9 and needs to be stopped before it hits critical mass. Corinthians 13:4 speaks of love as something that is earned, treasured, abides through trials of great suffering, heals and humbles. If Serena had any inkling of what this meant, she’d know it was already way too late.

He's the one who got them out.

There’s selfless, and then there’s this next level shit that Nick pulled in season 2 when he smuggles out a bunch of handmaids letters and then credits Luke with getting them out. Okay so maybe not completely incorrect after all Luke and Moira did flood the internet with them. But seriously the statement “got them out” implies some type of serious effort or danger like let’s say a trip across the border with them, rather than a simple post on Insta or Twitter with a few choice hash tags.

At the very least Nick should get a bit of credit here right? RIGHT? The fact that he DOESN’T take any is absolutely intentional. Nick returned from Canada asking for nothing and giving June everything. It cost him a huge part of himself and the fact that he gave it away so readily was designed to illustrate his pure self-sacrifice for her. This is the moment, right here that’s designed to show that Blaine loves her, like LOVES her, and officially doesn’t care what it costs him.

The very act of passing these letters to Luke and then crediting Luke with them, is a veiled metaphor for the passing of messages back and forth between June and her family. While ridiculously selfless it’s necessary for Blaine to credit Luke in order to complete the actual construct of the metaphor.

Blaine is June’s conduit, her messenger, guardian, guide, lover, but with the words “I met your husband” he reminds her and acknowledges that in the ordinary world he will have to relinquish these roles. There are three words contained in this scene that perfectly capture Blaine’s sentiment and they’re heartbreaking in their simplicity: “I should go” he says and as he leaves he tells her he loves her for the last time that season.

Blaine looks crushed and limps away visibly wounded, June is so overjoyed by his news about Luke and Moira, it’s as if she is blind to his pain. For both of them there is the realisation that not only CAN she leave but she inevitably WILL. It’s not long after we see him arrange for June to leave and for the next three seasons he keeps his distance. This is a crucial moment for Blaine, the letters home and meeting Luke face to face form the basis of his attempted growing separation from her as he tries to do “the right thing”. The only problem is, the more that Blaine sacrifices for her, the more her love for him grows.

I wish I could hold her

No exaggeration, this fucking wrecked me. There are a few moments on THT that choke me up spontaneously and this is one of them. It’s absolutely gutting to see a usually stoic Blaine suddenly dissolve into a puddle of vulnerability, heartache and tenderness.

Blaine doesn’t often talk about their baby, he doesn’t dare, it’s altogether too much to hope for that they might one day be a family. Here he can’t contain himself, “Our babies so beautiful” he says, his joy over the birth of his new daughter and his love for the mother of his child, spilling out of him. “I wish I could hold her” he says with the heartbreaking revelation that Nick has been stripped of any claim to his own daughter, including the ability to hold her for the first time. Tears well in June’s eyes, her usual sassy cynicism completely melting away in a single heartbeat.

With the birth of Holly comes the first time we hear Blaine actually mention the possibility of leaving Gilead, for the first time he has something that might make him try. The two of them fantasise about an idyllic escape from the Hell of Gilead. The golden glowing leafy window makes it hard to believe they’re not already standing on a sandy beach beneath lush green trees.

The Waterford’s window contains a gingko biloba, the most ancient of all trees, a symbol of their lasting love and growing family tree. This is one of those incredible THT moments that will stay with you throughout the seasons, where two parents bond over the birth of their child and dream of a better life together…..in Hawaii. I’m not crying, you’re crying…

Before I get into our 3rd Nick and June Mix tape, I’ve got a second Lawrence and June Mix. In the future Nick and Lawrence will be getting a separate Mix tape, and Nick, June and Tuello will all be getting their own playlists. See you then.

[juneandnick]

5x10 : Safe (My POV)

I already wrote something after the release of the episode: Link.

The writing of the first and the last episode of season 5 is just a sort of mirror.

Episode 01. June just killed Fred.

At the police station, Luke asks her to back home because after all she does not need to accept the punishment: You did nothing wrong. He got what he deserved.

He offers her to leave Toronto: We will take off. We will go to Hawaii, okay?

Episode 10. Luke killed a Gilead sympathizer to save June's life.

With June and Holly, they are on the run for Hawaii.

He ends up surrendering to the police at the station.

June prays him to stay: Please do not do this. I do not want to do this alone. I do not want to do it alone anymore. I do not want to do it alone. We need you.

Also a parallel with S5E02, Luke:  You gotta be here. You gotta be right here. All right? Because I need you here and Nichole needs you here. You family needs you here. And if you are not … I do not know what is gonna happen June to us.

June tries to be happy with Luke while Nick tries the same thing with Rose.

June seems to be fine with it. I mean it is not easy everyday with Luke (which is normal) but she does not seem to think of Nick, excepts for her needs. In fact, it is nearly surprising she has a thought for him before to leave Toronto for Hawaii.

I really do not like the fact she did not ask news from Nick to Joseph or Mark. Just like she turned the page. Maybe because she wants to honor her wedding vows.

I would have loved to see her tell Holly about Nick. Maybe she could have shown her a picture. But I would have liked something: Maybe a fantasy or a flashback (about an unseen scene). It is disappointing. Out of sight - Out of mind.

In S3E13, June thought she was going to die in the woods. She remembered that scene with Luke and Hannah. (See photo below) We could have had a parallel with a fantasy with Nick and Holly: Having a picnic, having fun at the beach ...

In another context, we could have see Rita who suggests to cook tuna and June smiling while suggesting to her friend to buy oranges. No my best idea lol sorry.

I do not know if it is important but in a flashback in S4E06 Moira thought that June marrying Luke is a bad idea. June tried to justify: Our marriage is not going to be like that marriage. They fought all the time about all kinds of stuff. We never fight.

So I wonder if June avoids being honest with Luke, being angry for fear of arguing. Because that is one of the reasons he left Annie, his ex-wife. Even if it is completely normal to argue with family, friends, colleagues ... It is just a passing idea.

Moira and Rita seem more "Team Luke." I no longer see complicity between these women with June. For example, it is maybe stupid but in S4E07 at the Fairmont Royal York hotel before to leave, Moira hugs first Luke then June. She does it the same thing in S5E05 when June and Luke are ready to across the border.

Sometimes the little details make the difference.

If June is careful do not argue with Luke, it is also because she does not want to do it alone. Probably she is afraid to loose Nichole. She probably feels guilty because Luke waited her for seven years and raised the little girl. And because Moira was supposed to tell her in S4E06: Luke is a good guy. And he handled it pretty well when you had a baby with another man. So she stays because he is her husband.

But for me it does not explain her indifference about Nick. We have not seen her thinking about him all season. She was more or less like: Nick? Nick who?

The thing that disappoints me (even if I can already hear you explaining the why and the how), June lived seven years in Gilead. A country where women are not allowed to read, to write, to have a job, to participate in the government, to do what they want … Just good to run their household and raising children.

And as a handmaid, June was imprisoned, beat, raped and treated like a child. Yet she rebelled against the system. She got Holly out, she worked with Mayday into Lawrence's home, she organized the Angel’s Flight … I understand that she is no longer in survival mode but what is happen to the f**king rebel handmaid?

With Nick she dared to be furious, to be angry. With Luke, she looks like a puppy and is weak, she fears of disappointing. She apologizes all the time. It is a shame.

Nick has always stayed true to his feelings for June. Does not matter if he is married, does not matter if they are separate. His feelings for her are still so sincere.

Nick is like a compass that always points North. He always care about June, about their daughter, about their safety. He asked to Mark and Joseph about them. He is always dreaming about the three of them, how could he not? They are his family.

In S5E03, when June tells him: Try and be happy, okay? He does not lie to himself, being happy for him means being with June. But he does not answer her, because:

- It is too painful, - He does not want to lie to her, - He does not want her to feel guilty.

Maybe he is also afraid that she would not share his feelings.

His marriage with Rose is what it is: A marriage of convenience. He is married to a woman with whom: He always enjoyed talking. He tried to be a good husband, he tried Gilead shoes but he failed. So I appreciate the writing of Nick about June.

I hope season 6 will rock! I want something HUGE for Osblaine. 🤞 Something unexpected but damn good and very very quickly. We wasted enough time.

Music by Adam Taylor

- Bridge Over The Border ❤️

- Late Night Visit ❤️

- Not To Her ❤️

Source Pictures: Screenshots (by me)

[nickjunesource]

i personally don't think we'll be to satisfied on the osblaine front next episode but I do think the Nick content is going to be 🔥 I'm wishing and hoping they finally move this character forward

Well, if you like spoilers, take a look at this:

This has confirmed that we have an absolutely fantastic Osblaine scene on the way and some great Nick content! Max never lies! Bless his cute lil head, because his comments about the very special scene in the finale and on Nick learning that the Gilead shoes do not fit have sustained us through this awful season.

With this information of Nick finally, finally, finally being shown putting everything in with the resistance (long after we've known what side he stands on), we're really wishing and hoping to see more of that progress for Nick's character in the final season. It's long overdue that they stop with this ambiguous nonsense and give Nick a more dynamic plot involving the resistance.

Not too long until we get to see for ourselves.