#Haha i took too many drugs/j

[sprinklecutecorekawaiirawr]

I drew irl me huggin amber cuz shes my fav character + she's pretty asf <3

[sweetdreamsjeff]

dara's story...

Okay, so I've been informed that you guys do want to hear my long "how i met jeff" story (stories), so here goes.

My friend Fatin (also a subscriber) and I decided to go to a Velocity Girl show at a place called Maxwell's in Hoboken, NJ (go there if you're ever in the area-great place! wanted to move in there for awhile). A band with the name Sunny Day Real Estate was opening up for them and I clearly remember Fatin and I standing outside of Maxwell's looking at the list (they posted the list of upcoming shows on the outside double doors) to see who was going to open up for VG now that we had the tix, and laughing at the name because it sounded so funny! Sunny Day Real Estate! Haha!

Well, we were excited for the show anyway (we were-or at least I was-obsessed with going to as many shows as possible and seeing any band that I'd barely heard of). I was doing a 'zine at the time with my writings and poetry which had my name and address on them. I brought a camera to the show so I could take pix for the next issue of my 'zine which I had decided to make less personal and more music related b/c no one wrote to me (well not no one as you will see). So I went into the show and was won over by the amazing SDRE! I didn't even want to see VG after that (well, actually I did b/c I was curious to see them live). I couldn't believe how the band just hypnotised me! I understood sex, drugs and rock & roll, or I had thought I did, but I had just been thinking of it in a Mick Jagger and Madonna wink wink type of sexuality. I was amazed by how this band had just so much sexuality to them that was not forced. It very much had to do with a love of music on theri part and a love of performance. They were definitely the type of band that I think get off from performing. So I took a lot of pictures, especially of the lead singer just because he was also quite amazing, he was right in front of me, and yes, because he was (and still is) gorgeous.

Well, they ended and VG came on (actually i sat next to Sarah Shannon on the stage for like 5 minutes and couldn't think of a single thing to say-still thinking of SDRE I think) and then they were done (not even half as amazing as SDRE-sorry). I talked to Jeremy a bunch afterwards b/c this girl named Lizzy started talking to me b/c she wanted to get copies of the pix I was taking and so I was talking to him "for her." Well after I talked to him, and Dan and Nate And William (Wm. is a flirt but really cute in person and very funny to watch while drumming-look at all the faces he makes) I went outside the concert hall (there's a restaurant there too) and started talking to some guy along with my friend when who should I spy not ten feet away but Juliana Hatfield. So I went over to talk to her. I wasn't like "wow!" b/c I had just met Evan D. recently at a signing (so cheesy I know, but hey I couldn't resist. He signed a picture I drew of him. We were the first to see him with buzzed hair. Real reason it was buzzzed? He and a friend got drunk and decided to buzz his hair-May 17 was the day of that signing, the day before he went to Cali for the MTV Beach thing)) and I actually disliked Juliana a lot at that point b/c she had recently been on the cover of Spin (long hair, white background) and she had said that she knew of no girls that could play guitar well and my feminism was offended. So I went up to her with the attitude of "oh well, another famous person to add to my collection." She was nice though and she took my 'zine and I asked her if she was here to see VG and she said "No, SDRE." Well, that was about it. Imagine my surprise when one day my mom hands me my mail and the return address says J. Hatfield. No, I'm not kidding. She asked me for copies of the pix of Jeremy which I sent to her and she wrote a lovely little note in reference to my 'zine. Suckered! I liked her now! (I also reread that article and she said "...except Bonnie Raitt, who was the female I had been thinking of, and the only female I could think of so my feminism wasn't offended anymore as much as shocked at the truthfulness of the statement). So I gladly sent her the not-so-great pix (forgot the flash at home-oops) and a letter. She did write back a thank you note. So when I found out she was having a show on June 2nd, 1995, at Roseland Ballroom (in NYC) I got tickets and so did Fatin. Last minute (and I really mean last minute), I called and asked for a back-stage ticket and she gave me one!! I guess it was a return favor. (I forgot to ask for one for Fatin but more on that later). I was ecstatic.

Oh yeah, opening for her was this guy named Jeff Buckley whose picture I had seen on the cover of this really thick magazine whose name I can't remember (not something that's a well-known magazine), and Fatin had told me about him so I was curious and excited to see him too. We got to the show and I stood on line (Fatin with me) for the backstage pass and who should happen to be just a few people behind me but Mr. Dando himself who I had a big crush on at that time (it was b/c Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill, the only other one to write me back about my 'zine after I met her after a Rock For Choice show and got backstage to ask her to speak to the newlly formed Gender Equities club at my school and gave her my 'zine too, sent me a 'zine that she was doing then -I think- about her love of Evan Dando and why and other things in her life that I won't mention). Fatin told me to go up to him but I couldn't and I didn't want to lose my place in line. Besides, if he was going to be backstage and I was too, we'd get to talk later.

So we went through the line and (the ticket guy was the same guy who had been at another show that I had free tix to but had forgotten my ID but had let me in anyway so this time I showed him my ID and said "see, I wasn't lying!") went inside, and I went to the platform stage for those with backstage passes and poor Fatin was on the side (I'm so sorry Fatin!) I watched Jeff's show and liked it but I wasn't totally paying attention to it b/c some women invited me to sit in a seat until their friends got back, and one of those friends was Janet Billig (she used to manage Nirvana, Hole, Evan, Smashing Pumpkins and signed them all-I think. She's now Vice-President of Atlantic Records at 29 and she's the one who Courtney Love said at one of her shows a couple of years ago, -paraphrasing here- "Don't fuck with Janet Billig cuz I'll have to fuck with you!" or something like that. There was an article about her in Spin I believe like 3 years ago - it was on my friend's wall), so I was really excited and nervous because this blond woman had come over and I had thought it was Janet so I kept switching my attention between her and Jeff (wasn't Janet by the way).

At the break between bands I went to the bathroom which was backstage (ran into Lewis Largent who used to host 120 Minutes before Matt Pinfield, who I had met at a previous show. Really really nice guy but very shy. He remembered me though!). Well, everyone went downstairs too, so that was weird and cool. I don't remeber this period to well but I do remember seeing Jules before she went on. After the bathroom I got on the corner of the side stage platform (can't really describe it sorry, but it was a very good spot to see the show) and danced through Jules entire set with my new friend Cristy (who looked a bit like Jules and was from Texas and her boyfriend who looked like Thurston Moore and worked at Reprise). After the set and before the encore I went back to the pit where Jules had just come off stage (was very easy then-they have since closed up that area :0( ) and watched her and Evan cutely give each other a big smooch (no tongue. by the way, Evan had a girlfriend who was tall and had brown hair and glasses and I think was his girlfriend. Sorry she wasn't the groupie type and not Mia Kirshner with whom Evan had just gone to her (MK's) opening for that movie she was in where she played a stripper who dressed in school girl outfits who this guy became obsessed with. haven't seen that girl -not MK- since) before Jules went back on for the encore.

After the show I wheedled the guard to let Fatin come backstage (right before that who should I knock into but PAUL MCCARTNEY!! and HIS WIFE! NO JOKE!!) even without a pass, and they let her. I was planning on taking her to meet him b/c I knew it would make her REALLY happy.

Well, we found Jeff looking passed out and sweating right by the stairs off the platform that go towards the backstage but not in the downstairs backstage part sitting on the floor drinking a water bottle and talking to some girl standing up. I said "Good show" he said "Thanks" and then I asked him if he knew where Jules was and he said probably downstairs. I said thanks and we left. Fatin couldn't say anything (I don't think) and at that moment I decided he was pretty cute and talented and I liked him too. Oy vey. Well, we went downstairs and looked for Jules and she told me about SDRE being on the Batman Soundtrack and I gave her my new 'zine issue and she said thanks and went back to talking to her friends. She is very shy and not too comfortable with people she doesn't know, but when she's with her friends she's really comfortable it seems and outgoing and fun. Well, Fatin and I floated around like lost (if you don't know anyone in the biz- and I do mean the business side of it, it can be really uncomfortable and boring) souls, although I talked to Tanya Donnelly (wearing a very cute and cool outfit I remember. Very nice WOMAN, 5 feet tall just like me). I then remember going over to wear Jeff was talking to some chicks with Fatin and we talked to him, standing not two feet from him. He was flirting completely. He gave me a water bottle (he was drinking one too and I asked him where he got it and he just handed me one. I had forgotten that Fatin and I had bought one earlier but oh well, I'll take a water bottle from Jeff anytime, even if I'm drowning), and I lit a cigarette (Newport). He said "Ooh, Menthol" and shared the cigarette with me!! A little later Evan Dando came by and wanted a cigarette and looked to Jeff who looked at and pointed to me and I gave Evan a cigarette and lit it for him off of mine! It was a miracle I seriously believe that I actually lit the cigarette and not something else! Hell, with Jeff and Evan standing around paying atttention to you, wouldn't you have missed? I didn't thank g-d!)

Well Evan left us and he said something really weird like "yeah, i pretended i just did coke" or something like that. don't quote me on that ok? (Evan has a really weird sense of humor. You know that sense of humor where you know you should say something in response but you just aren't on that wavelength yet and you just don't get where they are coming from -much like my sense of humor, which is a big part of the reason that Fatin and I became friends- well that's what Evan's sense of humor is like). The other two women who were hanging in our little circle I don't remember much except one who was tall, thin, black, and looked REALLY familiar, but I still don't know where from! No she wasn't a model (although Melissa auf der Maur was there too - and flirting a bit with Jeff or trying to be near him so no Courtney didn't lie that she had a crush on him - and I knew she looked really familiar but I couldn't figure it out where I knew her from so I thought she was a model till it dawned on me who it was). Well, this particular girl had a broken arm and I asked her how it happened and our Jeff quiped "Masturbating accident." Heehee. He's got a great sense of humor I think.

Well, guess what happened just after that? The clock struck 12:30am (Fatin and I both had Achievement tests to take the next morning!! argh! so we had to be out of there by 12:30) and my MOM came down!! No joke (unfortunately)!! You should have seen the look on Jeff's face when he saw her (and mine!) We had to leave and so I like turned and grabbed his arm with my hand behind my back and said (somewhat jokingly) "No! Don't make me go!" And so we left. I don't blush but I sure as hell was after that (well, it wasn't as bad as when my dad came looking for me after the Pearl Jam show-but that's a whole 'nother story!). Oh, my mom told me later that when she tried to get in (we had agreed to meet at the front doors but they were locked so my 'rents went around to the back doors where a shitload of kids were standing outside with guards and a security block thing, and the guards originally wouldn't let my mom in but then she said that she had a sixteen year old in there -whoa! I was 16!?!? forgot about that!- who had to take the SAT's tomorrow and he let her in - why?!?! - to the jealousy of all the kids outside! When she went downstairs, somebody looked at her and said "uh oh party's over" and my mom replied "do I look that much like a mom?" to which they then replied "uh huh!"). Then we went home and I've been unhappily ever after ever since. Until Lollapalooza.....

But that's Part 2 of the "How I Met Jeff Story" which I'm going to have to write another time because I've been happily procrastinating for way too long now. The last of the name-dropping of that night is that I think Eric Erlandson was there too but not with Drew and only for a short time if he was.

write me if you have any comments, questions, etc.

love to everybody, dara

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 40 - Appeal for buzzword of the year.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome. Oh, thats noisy! *Adjusting chair*

J: Haha

K: How noisy.

J: I feel like I've been seeing you every day.

K: Yeah, what could that be?

T: Yeah.

J: Yeah, its strange.

K: Yeh, I feel like I saw you yesterday.

J: Thats right.

T: Yeah.

K: Did something happen, I wonder?

J: Yeah, something might have...

K: Haha.

J: Anyhow, I drank too much last night, and I have quite a hangover today.

K: Oh really? Yeh, your face somehow looks a bit swollen.

J: Right?

K: Haha

J: *To Tasai* Have you been drinking? For the end of the year?

T: Not at all.

J: Oh, you havn't? How about you Kaoru?

K: Oh, I have.

J: Have you? Not too much though?

K: No, I've been ok.

Kami: *sneezes*

J: I just heard a sneeze!

K,T: Hahaha.

J: Kami sneezed like, 'Ahhchoo'. Haha, what great timing to sneeze.

K: Ok, so this week, its still a little early, but lets  go with this topic. Joe, could you..?

J: Yes. 'Early predictions for buzzword of the year. The most symbolic word of the year is...?' Well, there have already been 30 nominations released for the buzzword of the year. But, well, there are predictions, and most of the words for 2020 are corona related. At the moment the prediction for #1 is 'social distance', #2 is 'the Three C's', #3 is 'Stay Home', #4 is 'Covid crisis', #6 is 'Abe no mask', #9 is 'Amaebi'..

K: Its 'Amabie'. (*This is the name of a spirit which is believed to ward off plagues*)

J: Ah, Amabie, yes. What did I say?

K: Ama ebi (*sweet shrimp*).

T: Very delicious stuff will come.

J: That sounds odd.

K: haha

J: Uh, #10 is 'State of Emergency'. 8 out of the top 10 are corona related. There are also others such as 'Go To Campaign', 'PCR test', and 'Self-restraint police' etc within the nominations.

K: I see.

J: What do you two think about a buzzword for this year?

T: Was there something..?

J: In terms of this show?

K: Oh, on this show?

J: Yeh, something from this show.

K: Well, there should be something.

J: Haha, yeah.

K: A lot of things were said off the cuff.

T: Yeah, haha.

J: I've a feeling our buzzword of the year might be something that Kami has said, haha.

T: There must be so many things, but..

K: You somehow can't remember, right?

T: Yeah, I can't remember.

J: Yeh, I can't remember either.

T: Its strange.

J: Does this mean the stuff Kami has said has left no impression on me?

K: Haha

J: Even though he talks a lot..

T: Yeah.

K: There must be something..

T: Yeah, there must be.

Kami: I say a lot of good stuff.

J: Good stuff?

Kami: Yeah, I say good stuff.

J: Im sorry Kami, you havn't left much of an impression. 

Kami: I havn't?

J: Sorry.

K: He changes quite a lot doesn't he?

J: Yeah, he has no sense of consistency.

T: Haha, thats true.

J: ???*1

T: There is like '¥1000 p/h' with Kami.

J: '¥1000 p/h'!

T: One of Kami's words.

K: Or 'Night-shift'.

J: Oh, 'Night-shift', right.

T: He kinda has a 'Kani kōsen/The Crab Cannery Ship' feel to him. (*A 1929 proletarian novel by Kobayashi Takiji*)

J: Haha, he has a sense of Kobayashi Takiji, right?

T: Yeah, haha.

J: But as for this show, we did mention Hanshin quite a bit.

K: Hmmm, well...

J: Not enough to make it a buzzword of the year?

K: Sometimes.

J: Only sometimes? Does Tokyo Sports have anything, like articles that were a big hit, outside of corona?

T: Well, there was a surprising amount of negative news.

J: Right?

T: Things about all the suffering that took place this year.

J: Wasn't there any really silly Tokyo Sportsy stories that took off?

T: I don't think there was this year.

J: Wasn't there?

T: Because its always been about Tenryu.(*Former Pro-wrestler*)

K: Hahaha.

T: Sorry about that everyone, this new Reiwa era has been...

J: Is Tenryu still active?

T: Haha, no..

K: No, he's not.

T: The viewers might be ??? *2

J: By Tenryu, you mean Tenryu Genichiro, right?

T: Yes.

K: But he does appear on TV quite a bit.

T: For any one who doesn't know what we're taking about, we'll just say he's on tv sometimes.

K: Choshu san too, right? (*Former Pro-wrestler*)

T: Yeah.

J: Ah, Choshu san? Yeah. 

T: We run stories about the secret 'Tenryu metal bat' incident, and stuff.

K: But we want that kind of thing, right?

J: Yeh, everyone expects its to be corona corona corona, but on the other hand if you go with Tenryu..

K: Haha, Tenryu for buzzword of the year??

J: Yeah, haha. Wouldn't it be great if our buzzword for the year was 'Tenryu'?

T: I think it would be for Tokyo Sports...Tenryu, or..'Big boobs' or something like that.

J: Ahh. Well, we need something for this show, The Freedom of Expression. Like, 'Night shift'?

T: Hmm, 'night shift' or..I feel like you've said quite a few puns, Joe.

J: I probably have.

K: But actually, last time...Kami was saying 'small boobs' quite a lot.

J, T: Hahaha

J: He was! The buzzword of the year: Small boobs?

T: There's quite a lot of things 'lacking' about this show too though, isn't there? Haha.

K: Yeh, lacking good taste. It can't be helped.

J: Well, yeh, Kami is vulgar. We can't change that. Isn't there anything you can think of, Kaoru? Anything unforgettable..a symbol of 2020?

K: I feel like there should be.

T: Oh, but there was Hosojimaya too!

J: Hosojimaya, yeh. Carbohydrate + carbohydrate.

K: That was your..

T: Your favourite set meal right?

J: I always end up saying that...Carbs + carbs.

T: Oh, I remember one. When Kaoru was eating ramen at Hosojimaya, he said 'I'm collecting all the onions in one spoon'.

K: Hahaha

J: Collecting all the onions in one spoon?

T: It was that delicious.

J: When you were drinking the soup?

K: Yeah.

T: Yeh, he was like, 'The onions are so good, I can get them all into one spoon!'. That one stands out for me.

J: Haha 'Collecting the onions in one spoon', the buzzword for 2020?

K: But I do sit there eating that for a long time, the onions and stuff.

T: Yeh, you were saying, 'This is so good'.

J: Why is that? You are not remembering being poor as a kid?

K: I just like onions.

J: You like onions?

T: They are delicious.

J: I like them too. I still go to Hosojimaya sometimes.

K: Oh, do you?

J: Yeah.They said they've had a few customers who saw the restaurant on this show. So thank you for that.

K: It'd be nice to go to some other places lIke that. A Chinese restaurant or something.

J: Yeah, it would. I wanna go to Chinese restaurants so much that the buzzword for the show next year will be 'Chinese restaurants'!

T: Haha

K: Im not sure about that just yet...

J: Oh, is that a bit too much? haha. But, I don't know why I said 'Sweet prawn' (amaebi), instead of Amabie. When I shake my head, I can feel the alcohol sploshing around.

K: But when this came out at first, we didn't know anything about it, did we?

T: I still don't really. What is it?

K: Im not that sure..

J: Its like a spirit to protect against infectious disease. I don't know where this came from. Its like a strange looking character. Amabie..

T: But Joe-style is Ama ebi.

K: Was sweet prawn a thing this year? haha.

J: I messed up..

K: Its the first I've heard of it!

T: Haha, yeh.

J: Well, yeh, sweet prawn didn't really come up in our lives during 2020. But don't you wanna come up with something that is unrelated to corona?

T: Yeah.

K: Well, yeh.

J: Kami, do you have any ideas?

Kami: As for me? I kinda want this one to do well...'Ojikun' (*A trend of younger women falling for middle aged men*). Its not in the nominations, is it?

T: Oh, Ojikyun, yeah.

J: What is Ojikyun?

T: There was this tv drama with a bunch of middle aged men, and the younger women thought they were cute. Like they fell for them.

K: Oh, I remember something like that.

T: Yeah, it was a manga too.

J: Ojikyun...that sounds good.

K: *points at Joe* You think you are old enough for Ojikyun?

J: I really want that to happen.

K: Well, that makes us all Ojikyun.

J: Haha, no no, thats totally me.

T: Joe, you are still young!

J: No no, really. Lets go with 'Ojikyun'.

K: You keep saying we should go with everything, haha.

J: Well, you see, the alcohol is affecting me today, it really is.

K: Ok, lets appeal for suggestions...

J: Oh, yeah.

K:...for this show's buzzword of the year.

T: Ah, I see.

K: Lets see which things have left an impression on the viewers.

T: Well, for me its Kaoru collecting all those onions. So, we want to know what other things have stood out to the viewers.

J: Yeah. I liked the hoodie.

T: Oh, the Tokyo Sports hoodie?

J: Yes.

T: Oh, thank you.

J: Tokyo Sports hoodie. Is it a buzzword, or maybe a trending item?

T: Oh, that makes me so happy.

K:  Is it selling?

T: Well, thanks to this show, and Joe modelling it..

J: No no no.

T: Joe, the fashion leader.

J: Im not a fashion leader at all. I only ever wear black.

K: Hahaha

T: Is it Kyary pamyu pamyu or Joe Yokomizu? haha

J: What are you talking about? haha. Okay, I'll go with 'Tokyo Sports Hoodie' for the buzzword.

T: Thank you. ??? *3

J: Haha. Thank you ???

T: Yeah.

J: So, lets ask the viewers for thier suggestions.

K: Yeah, lets.

J: Which was the best word on the show this year, or the most symbolic.

T: Sounds good.

K: So, should we choose the one with the most votes as the winner?

J: I guess thats how it would go.

T: Well, we can't forget about what Kami wants..

K: So, like we can choose one, and if we remember it...We won't just go by which had the most suggestions.

T, J: Yeh, yeh, yeh.

K: And we can give one of the radio stickers as a present to that person.

J: Oh, those stickers! Thats a good idea.

Kami: Um, this might be a bit different from a buzzword, but Dir en grey did that online live show, right?

T, K, J: Yes.

Kami: Not the online live, I mean the streamed setlist chosen by members.

T, K, J: Oh yes

Kami: When the new song 'World of Mercy' was played, everyone said, 'Its Tashiro!'. (*Controvesial former tv star Tashiro Masashi, nicknamed 'Marcy', prosecuted for filming up womens' skirts and drug use. Marcy/マーシー and Mercy/マーシー have the same pronunciation in Japanese.*)

T: Ah, I see, haha.

K: Oh, that. Marcy..

Kami: Yes, Marcy/Mercy, its Tashiro. Could that be a buzzword?

T: I mean, what can we say about that?

J: I guess it is...

K: Well, it is, but if a regular person saw it, they would think of that Marcy (*as opposed to Dir's Mercy).

J: Haha, 'that Marcy'? Should we include 'Tashiro'?

T: I mean, it is a thing amongst the fans.

Kami: Within this show...Tashiro.

T: Online slang is pretty interesting, right?

J: Yeah.

K: Lets just put this Mercy/Marcy talk to one side, shall we? Haha.

J: Really. We ended up talking about this kind of thing before we even realised it.

K: But yeah, Id like to decide on a buzzword for the year for the Freedom of Expression, so please send us your suggestions.

J: Where should they send them to?

K: Er, in the comments for this vid, or on my twitter. I'll write a tweet about this, so people can reply to that. Ok, well, lets finish here this week. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1,2,3 - Either couldn't hear, or couldn't figure out.

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 19)

Chapter 19

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15, ch 16, ch 17, ch 18, ch 19

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 1,012

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France, human trafficking

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​ @fallenstar-7​​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing...

When Jimin finally awoke, he was met with a set of big blue eyes staring back at him. He gasped and tried to get away, but the action made his head ache something awful. He held his head in his hands and glanced up. There was a little boy sitting beside his bed staring at him…no. Not his bed. This wasn’t his bed. This was a dingy cot in the corner of a tiny cement room. The little boy was staring at him with wide eyes. He had ahead full of dark, unkempt hair. He was pale and shivering.

“What’s your name?” the boy asked.

“Jimin,” he said. He wanted to panic, but that probably wasn’t the best thing to do right now, for the sake of the child and for the sake of his still throbbing head. “What’s your name?”

“Caleb,” the boy said.

“Do you know where we are, Caleb?” Jimin asked. Caleb shook his head. It was then that he noticed the needle in his arm. The needle was connected to a tube, which ran up to a blood bag on an IV pole. His heart sank. “Fuck,” he whispered.

“That’s a bad word,” said Caleb.

“Sometimes, a situation calls for bad words,” said Jimin. Caleb smiled.

“Yeah, this situation is pretty fucking bad,” he said. Jimin’s eyes widened.

“Just don’t say that around your parents,” said Jimin. The smile fell from Caleb’s face.

“I don’t think I’m gonna see my parents again,” said Caleb.

“Why would you say that?” Jimin asked, carefully peeling the tape off holding the needle down.

“I’m not stupid,” Caleb said, picking at his sweater. “My mom told me that there’s people out there who kidnap kids and sell them. And that’s why I have to be careful with strangers. I saw a ton of people come in here and talk about prices, and they tasted my blood. It’s so creepy! I already had two roommates before you got here. Both of them got sold right away. I bet you’ll be next. The Dracula guys like pretty people who are adults more than they like kids I guess.”

“They don’t like kids?” Jimin asked.

“No,” said Caleb. “Well, they said that my blood is really good ‘cause it’s clean. But they said that kids are too much to deal with. I guess it’s a good thing.”

“Probably is,” said Jimin. He slowly pulled the needle from his arm and then reached for Caleb’s arm. Caleb let him do the same with his needle.

“They’ll get mad,” said Caleb.

“We’ll put them back in in a few hours,” said Jimin. “How often do they come in?”

“Not very often. Like, twice a day to give us food and put the needle in or take it out,” said Caleb.

“We just won’t let them take too much from us,” said Jimin. “Besides, my friends know where I am. They should be coming to rescue us soon.”

“That’s presumptuous,” said Caleb.

“That’s a big word,” said Jimin.

Caleb shrugged and said, “I learned it from a book. I like to read. Do you like reading?”

“I used to,” said Jimin. “Now I’m too busy to read. I go to college, so I have a lot of homework and dance practice.”

“You dance?” Caleb asked. “My big sister is in dance class too.”

“Oh yeah? How old is your sister?” Jimin asked.

“She’s twelve,” said Caleb. “I’m eight. I miss her, even though she’s a jerk sometimes.”

“I’m sure she misses you too,” said Jimin. “You’ll see her again. Hopefully soon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  “You actually showed up!” Makai shouted, standing up to greet them with open arms.

               Yoongi led the way into the room, Catalina and Jungkook following behind.

               “Yoongi is the best one for this role,” said Namjoon.

               “Why? You’re the leader,” said Catalina. “I feel like they’d expect you to be the one going in.”

               Yoongi chuckled and said, “Namjoon is too nervous. He can’t act his way out of a paper bag.”

               “I…well yeah,” Namjoon said, not trying to defend himself. “I can’t act. Or lie.”

               “So, to review,” said Jungkook. “We’re acting as Yoongi’s familiars. We’ll go in, buy Jimin, and then leave?”

               “Right,” said Namjoon. “Nothing else happens that day. We’ll execute the second part of our plan another time.”

               “I suppose I was curious,” said Yoongi, shaking Makai’s hand. Makai had that easy going smile on his face. It was disarming, Catalina needed to stay focused on hating the man.

               It was nerve wracking, being able to just walk into the facility like this. Catalina had never felt this kind of adrenaline before. She tried her best to stay calm and regulate her breathing though. Namjoon warned them that vampires can basically smell fear. They can hear when a human’s heart beats faster and smell when their blood rushes quicker.

               They were standing by the desk in the middle of the lounge-like space. This was the area Catalina and Jungkook saw when they snuck in.

               “Are you looking to buy today?” Makai asked. “Or were you just in the neighborhood?”

               “I’m not sure yet,” said Yoongi. “It depends on if you have anything I like.”

               “I’ve got quite the variety,” said Makai. “And all our products are very high quality. All very healthy and clean.”

               “That’s good to know,” said Yoongi. “Most of these kinds of organizations get their products off the streets, they’re usually riddled with drugs and diseases.”

               Catalina chose not to think about why Yoongi knew that.

               Makai chuckled and said, “I have to admit, we started our company like that. We’ve improved so much over the years though. Anyway, I can give you a tour. If you’d like, there’s a waiting room in the back where your familiars can stay.”

               “No thank you,” said Yoongi. “I’d rather they stay with me. I don’t trust you just yet.”

               “What’s not to trust about this face?” Makai asked, pouting a bit. He burst into laughter. “I’m totally joking. You have no reason to trust me, you barely know me! I hope we can be friends someday though. I like you, Yoongi.”

               With that, Makai led the way deeper into the facility. The first door he opened made Catalina’s heart drop. The woman inside was limp and pale, sitting up against the wall on a cot. Her hair was thin and her lips were blue.

               “We’ve had her for a while, so I would probably let you have her for a hundred if you’re interested,” said Makai. He closed the door and continued down the hall. He pointed at a room through a pair of archways and said, “That’s the recreation room. There’s snacks, if you guys want anything.”

               “Chocolate?” Yoongi asked.

               “Haha! Sure, let’s see,” said Makai. He went in and rummaged through the cupboards. Catalina hung back with Jungkook and took his hand. He squeezed her hand back, leaning in to whisper, “Are you okay?”

               Catalina nodded, even though she was starting to feel queasy. Yoongi came back to them with a mouthful of Dove chocolate, more in his hand.

               “Jungkook will have his phone in his shirt pocket, with the camera facing out. It’ll be recording the entire time,” said Namjoon. “This way, we can map out a basic floor plan.”

               Catalina glanced at the phone in Jungkook’s shirt pocket as they were led deeper into the facility. Makai continued showing them “products”, as he called them. There were so many. Catalina didn’t know how she’d be able to leave them all here today. She hated thinking about Jimin in this situation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Jimin tried his best to keep track of the days, but without any outside light source and an irregular sleeping schedule, time quickly began to blur together. He had no idea how much time had passed. He what he could though.

               He didn’t let the vampires take too much blood from him and Caleb, just enough so they wouldn’t notice a loss. He made sure he and Caleb ate everything they were given, to keep up their strength. Every few days, or so Jimin figured, they would have a break from being hooked up to the IV. During those days, they made sure to eat and move around as much as they could.

               But after a while, everything began catching up to them. They were slowly losing energy. Jimin hoped his friends would find him soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Seeing these people, tired and limp, and hearing Makai list off prices like they were at a car dealership made Catalina feel sick. She knew this kind of thing went on, but to see it with her own eyes was something she would never forget. She had to keep reminding herself that they would come back for these people.

               “This one is a little feisty, but if you keep her drained, she should be fine,” said Makai, closing the door on another cell. “Did you see any you liked? Did you at least like the tour?”

               Catalina’s stomach dropped. That couldn’t have been the last one. Where was Jimin? Did someone already buy him? It hasn’t even been a week!

               Jungkook took her hand and squeezed hard.

               “Do you have anything else?” Yoongi asked. His bored façade was still going strong, or maybe it wasn’t a façade. Catalina couldn’t be sure. Did he even actually care about these humans? Either way, he was doing a good job on this mission.

               “I mean, we have other humans, but they’re not ready for purchase yet,” said Makai.

               “I want to see them,” said Yoongi.

               “Sure, were you looking for something in particular?” asked Makai.

               “Eh…not exactly. I suppose I’ll know when I see it,” said Yoongi.

               Makai pointed to him and said, “I totally understand. Ya know, it’s like buying clothes. Fashion trends change so fast and I never know what I want to buy for summer, or for winter or whatever. But when I see it, I know! Can you believe the early 2000’s are coming back? It just ended! Give it a break for a bit!”

               Makai laughed heartily as he rambled on, leading them to a different hallway. He opened a few doors and introduced a few people inside. These people looked a little less tired than the others. These ones still had a bit of color in their cheeks.

               The third door he opened was the one. Jimin stared back at them with wide eyes. The fear in his eyes melted away when he saw them. But there was another set of frightened eyes staring at them from over Jimin’s shoulder.

               A child sat behind him, clutching Jimin’s t-shirt.

               Yoongi faltered. He didn’t say anything for a moment.

               “Is this the one? Are you having your moment?” Makai asked.

               “How much for both?” Yoongi asked.

               “Oh…well, the kid isn’t for sale,” Makai said.

               “Ten thousand for the kid,” said Yoongi. “One thousand for the other guy.”

               Catalina watched with amusement as Jimin pouted, glaring at Yoongi.

               “Okay, so these guys aren’t really for sale right now,” said Makai. “So you’re gonna have to-“

               “Fifty thousand for both,” said Yoongi. Makai closed his mouth.

               “Ya know what, I like you Yoongi. So I’ll give them to you for fifty and a half,” said Makai.

               “Deal,” said Yoongi. They shook hands, Makai smiling wide.

               “I’m just warning you, this one’s squirrely,” Makai said, pointing to Jimin. “And the kid is too smart for his own good. So do with that what you will.”

               “I have these guys,” Yoongi said, gesturing to Jungkook and Catalina. “I’ll be fine.”

               “Right on, man!” Makai said, slapping Yoongi on the shoulder. “Let’s go to my office.”

               Makai’s office was beautiful; the first thing Catalina noticed was the zen garden in the corner, bamboo shoots rising from the center. The whole office was dim, with stylish, plush furniture filling the space. The sound of running water brought Catalina’s attention to the black stone mini water fountain on the desk at the center of the room.

               Makai went behind the desk and pulled out two forms.

               “Are you paying cash or bitcoin?” Makai asked.

               “What the hell is bitcoin?” Yoongi asked. Makai burst into laughter.

               “Cash it is, then,” he said once he finished laughing. “Just go ahead and sign these for me real quick. This one is a nondisclosure agreement. Don’t go posting about this on social media and definitely don’t tell the cops!”

               Makai laughed again, but Catalina didn’t find any of this funny. She wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.

               “And this one is just an agreement stating that once the transaction is complete, the product is nonrefundable and fully your responsibility,” Makai said. Yoongi signed both forms, then pulled several stacks of cash out of his jacket pocket. Catalina and Jungkook’s eyes bulged. He was just carrying all that in his pocket?, Catalina thought with a start.

               Makai laughed and pointed at them. “Looks like your familiars are thinking the same thing I am. You’re gonna get robbed doing stuff like that, man! You’re stronger than the average guy, but vamps like cash too, ya know!”

               “I don’t go shopping very often,” Yoongi said, counting out the stacks of bills.

               “Clearly,” said Makai, double checking the cash, then storing it in one of the desk drawers. The two of them shook hands. “Do you want them delivered or do you want them right now?”

               “I’m parked outside,” said Yoongi. “I can take them now.”

               “Sounds good to me,” said Makai. “Just go ahead and wait outside, I’ll have someone bring them up.”

               “Don’t damage them,” said Yoongi. “I like my products pristine.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               Jimin and the child clinging to him stayed silent as they got into the car, all the way until Jungkook parked the car in the lot of a Popeye’s just outside of town. Then they all piled out of the car and Catalina and Jungkook immediately tackled Jimin in a tight hug. Yoongi climbed out of the car slowly, then helped the child out of the back seat.

               “What’s your name kid?” Yoongi asked as Catalina and Jungkook fussed over Jimin.

               “Caleb,” he said in a quiet voice.

               “You’re safe now,” said Yoongi. “We’ll get you back to your parents.”

               Caleb’s eyes widened.

               The whole group of them went into the Popeye’s and ordered as much food as everyone wanted. Caleb squeezed into the booth with Jimin, the rest sitting on the other side.

               “These are my friends I was telling you about,” said Jimin.

               “Ooohhh,” Caleb said, eyeing all three of them as he munched on his fries.

               “Are you guys hurt at all? What was it like in there?” Jungkook asked.

               “I mean, it wasn’t even that bad,” said Jimin.

               “Yeah! It wasn’t even that bad!” said Caleb.

               “Okay, I mean, it sucked really bad, and it would have been worse if we got bought by someone else before you got there, but it worked out fine,” said Jimin.

               “Yeah, the situation was pretty fucking bad!” Caleb said, giggling and dunking his chicken strips into too much sauce.

               Catalina and Jungkook’s eyes widened. Jimin and Yoongi just laughed.

               “Don’t say that in front of your parents,” said Jimin, ruffling the kid’s hair.

               “I just can’t wait to see the look on Namjoon’s face when we bring a child home with us,” said Catalina. Yoongi groaned and put his head in his hands.

               “Yeah, I can’t wait either,” he said, sounding like he could, in fact, wait.

[allyvampirelass29]

Killing Time

A HEROES Fanfiction By: Allyssa J. Watkins

He loved that he could touch her, even from across the room, that as long as she was in his sight, she was never gone from the reach, the caresses of his mind. Sylar turned his head towards his shoulder, and felt the weight of hers, the silkiness of her wispy curls, as he grazed the air, yet felt the fluttery sensation of her hair. The soundproof glass between them, kept him from saying what he needed to say, kept him from possessing that flooding power in hearing her breath quicken, and knowing he was the cause. But he could watch his effect on her through the one way glass, her head turning towards his phantom projection, and as she clinged to the air around her, he just knew....... As smoothly as he could turn a phrase with his silken tongue, his talented fingers were far more eloquent.

He smiled as he watched her own delicate hand reach up, search the air, and he felt his whole body seized with chills, that irresistible feel of her thumb stroking his dark brow over and over, and the tension in his back slowly released with his exhale. "God, I love when you do that," he spoke to the glass, and felt her melt against his hand as he placed it gently on her shoulder. To anyone watching, it would look like he was touching his own shoulder, but it was definitely hers, he could feel the feminine curve of it, and he imagined the tiny freckles dotting it like stars.

His heart panged, as he watched her lips move, speaking to the air, and he imagined the music of her laugh, as he watched it soundlessly. He'd give anything to know what she was saying to him. "You're a doll, Ally," He whispered painfully to the glass, releasing his hold, to edge himself closer to it. He watched her eyes shift from happy enchantment, to sudden fear, when she couldn't feel him anymore. "Hey, no, don't be scared I'm right here...…" He whispered, tapping on the glass, like he'd done every day since they'd been captured. If he hadn't been dosed up with enough brain paralysis to kill a baby elephant, he'd have shattered that glass by now. But with his powers leashed, and his body considerably slowed, all he could manage was the tapping, the weak reach, the projected touch. He couldn't save her, but as long as he could feel her, there was hope.

"Don't cry, no, Baby. Stop, you're killing me." The tears stung Sylar's eyes, as he watched her hug her knees, and sob quietly, her hair catching the light and veiling her face. He felt the pain of his own tears stoke the fire, the anger inside him, and using all of his strength he pounded the glass with his fist, harder and harder, over and over, his sadness becoming pure rage. Again and again, he watched his knuckles bruise and then heal, melt back into perfect skin. So he hit harder, the glass shuddering beneath his relentless attacks, and still, Ally could not hear him, and didn't so much as look up from her desolate sorrow.

"You're only making it worse, on the both of you." The Senator's voice was the match thrown into the dangerously full gasoline barrel, and Sylar hurled his whole body against the glass with a seething, animalistic yell.

"That glass, just this one piece, cost 20 million dollars, Buddy. You'd better believe it's bulletproof, blast proof, and 100 percent SYLAR proof. If I'd had the funding, you'd be in a box of the stuff right now. Wasting good drugs on you, makes me sick."

Sylar's eyes smouldered, his dark brow slanted, screaming murder, and his mind burned black with threats, too many to pick just one. Torture beyond anything he'd perpetrated before, horrendously bloody acts that would give even himself, nightmares. But his lips could only utter three words after the energy syphoned off from his intense physical exertion, and he felt his body fading, with the single, desperate plea still on his lips.

"Let. Her. Go."

"Can't do that friend."

It was all Sylar could do to steady his breathing, his heart pounding relentless against his chest with wounded rage, that wild, almost primal hunger to kill, and for the first time in months, he actually felt relieved Ally couldn't see him, blinded from the monster he was about to become. His very soul burned with bloodlust, the sleeping danger awakening. The killer emerges.

"SAVE IT!!!!" He snarled, nostrils flaring as he fended off the invading drugs that chained up his powers, his anger yanking on the mental restraints with an unhinged force. His forehead still rested against the glass, as he turned it slowly, methodically, toward the door, his eyes flashing with obsidian fire.

"Save your damn campaign speech, Senator, I am so not your friend. You play the benevolent leader, Mr. All American with such shocking deception. You put on a tie and a fake smile, and you HIDE behind that door and enact the horrors that you speak out against. As much as I love cruel and unusual punishment, you've just lost my vote. You're a monster, Nathan, you're worse than me, because at least when I kill my own kind, I don't pretend to care. I don't pretend that I'm going to save them."

The silence that followed was deadly in of itself, a cold void spreading through the sparse, empty room but when Nathan finally gave the order, it was edged with a severity that even Sylar had never thought capable of him.

"Open the door."

"Sir, we'd strongly advise against engaging the hostile."

"Oh yes, be a good boy, Nathan, and listen to your pathetic excuses for bodyguards. You've never experienced HOSTILE, until I've got you alone, locked in a room with me. You're going to need more than fancy drugs, and a twenty million dollar piece of glass to save you. You can use all the confiscated narcotics you want, if it'll make you feel safe, but I don't need my powers to kill you."

"You really think I'm scared of you?"

"No, Senator, I KNOW you are. But by all means, open the door...…. Let's play."

"Please, you've been so heavily sedated, hell, you should have OD'd twenty times over by now. You couldn't kill time."

"Haha that's good, I like that...… Killing and Time are my two favourite things. Even high, I can still do more damage than you can ever do to me. Whatcha gonna do, Buddy? Send me to death row, can I request the chair, that might be fun.”

"Don't you get it, Sylar? You're on Death Row."

Sylar froze as a red dot appeared on Ally's bare shoulder, as she sat, hugging her knees, and a low growl escaped from deep within his chest, his fingers starting to tremble.

"Alright, easy, white flag!" He fumed, throwing up his hands. "Fine, I'll play nice, just call off your sniper."

"Back against the glass, hands on your head, you son of a bitch."

"You're making me miss Bennet with that kind of sweet talk. Good times......" He snickered, turning his cheek inward playfully, brow raised, his eyes intensifying.

"Shut up! I'll shoot her, I swear to God. It's amazing, really, how many ways you can shoot a person and still keep them alive, just long enough, so that they feel each agonizing moment."

Sylar wasn't laughing anymore. He tentatively backed into the glass, and interlaced his fingers, as he put them behind his head, taking one last glance over his shoulder, and he didn't start breathing again, until the red dot threatening her pale skin, disappeared.

There was a loud mechanical sound, and the door slowly opened, as Nathan strode in, surprisingly unaccompanied, and it took every bit of Sylar's resolve not to tear into him on sight.

The young, square-jawed Senator regarded the tall, dark, and dangerous man before him, as though he were approaching a rabid animal, looking at him sideways, with great disdain.

"What now, Nathan, come to pat me down? You gonna rough me up a little?" He looked over his shoulder at the brown haired girl, her hands searching the glass in front of her with stricken eyes. He almost reached out to put his hand where hers was, when he remembered she couldn't see him. "You even think of doing that to her, I'll kill you. Nobody touches her, got it? Nobody but me."

Nathan's eyes narrowed as he ventured closer. "I'll do whatever the hell I want with her. She's the property of the United States Government now, you both are."

Sylar smirked at him, flexing his bent arms behind his silken head, his dark eyes dancing. "So, I'm like an acquired weapon of mass destruction?"

"More like Enemy of the State, an apprehended terrorist. Congratulations Gabriel, with a little help from the FBI, you no longer exist. There is no Gabriel Gray, meaning I can do whatever I want to you, hold you without trial, kill you without cause."

"So do it." Sylar snarled, his eyes snapping back to cold and impenetrable. "Kill me, Nathan. End it. Be the hero, everyone thinks you are. What are you waiting for?"

Nathan laughed without feeling, the hatred between him and Sylar rising like a scorched heat. "You think I won't do it? I was an officer of the United States Navy, I know HUNDREDS of ways to kill a man, and I'm pretty sure, you only know, the one." Nathan swiped his finger mockingly in front of Sylar's face, and Sylar smirked back, his gaze deadly.

"Just because I have my favourite weapon, doesn't mean it's the only trick up my sleeve. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it already. No, I'm going to kill you, Nathan, for doing this to me, to HER. I'm going to kill little brother, and Ma, and only after you're out of your head, seeing their bloody mangled bodies, their heads viciously ripped into, I'm going to make you beg me to kill you, and only then, will your little Superman charade end."

"You dressed up in my brother's face and tried to kill me, you SICK bastard!!! Who does that!? Did you really think I wouldn't retaliate?  You tried, and you failed. You used someone I loved against me, and you still lost. Don't be surprised when I do the same, go dark, and I follow through for the win."

"Look, I get that you're pissed, I know, I ruined your little ball and tricked all your big, fancy Senator friends. You want blood? Take it. Take it all...…. Torture me, kill me, bring me back, just to kill me again, maybe I deserve it, maybe I don't, do whatever the HELL you want, even let Peter get his, but don't punish her for my sins. My blood for hers. You already have me, you don't need her anymore, so, please...… let her go. You do that, and I might just let you live."

"Look at me, Gabriel, look right into my eyes. Never gonna happen."

Sylar could feel his skin prickling with the chills coursing through his body, the coldness of a killer, creeping into his dark features, his voice like ice.

"I said...… Please."

"No deal. You see..... I'm not going to do any of that to you, Gabriel. Because I know that whatever punishment I inflict, government sanctioned or otherwise, nothing is going to hurt you worse, nothing is going to make you behave more than the constant threat of what could happen to her. Why do you think I designed the glass so that you could see her, but she can't see you? Because I want you to see it, what I do to her, every time you get out of line. You so much as look at me a way I don't like, I'll take action, and it won't be me, hurting her, it will be you, your hand. I don't want your worthless blood, hers is so much more valuable. I'm going to take as much as I need to replicate that power, increase it enough to protect entire armies. This is a whole new level for our military, and on behalf of the United States Government, I thank you for your generous contribution."

Sylar's rising anger chilled into paralyzing fear, and he shook his head incredulous. "You're insane. She doesn't have enough electricity for that kind of scale, or enough blood for such rigorous testing...…You'll kill her."

Nathan smiled, his teeth gleaming, looking every bit the congenial politician. "If that's what it takes. I guess, we'd better get started." Nathan made a motion with his hands, and Sylar dropped his arms, failing to hide the abject horror flooding his eyes, feeling sick.

"What did you just do? She's- She's an innocent girl!!!!!"

"Wrong. She WAS an innocent girl. You stole her innocence. YOU ruined her, and got her all mixed up in the MURDER plot of a US Senator!!! She'll PAY for your sins, because they're her sins too, she deserves what's coming."

Sylar shook his head, his brow pulled back, as he sank desperate to his knees. "Nathan, listen to me, she didn't know, I swear!"

"Ever hear of guilty by association?"

Sylar whirled his head around, just as two fully equipped S.W.A.T. members stormed into Ally's side of the room, one of them roughly tackling her to the ground, the other taking a long needle from a cylindrical container.

"NOOOOOOO!!! Nathan, GOD, Nathan, don't do this, I'll do ANYTHING you want, I'll kill whoever you want me to kill, I'll be a damn saint, just don't- Don't hurt my girl." Sylar's tears streamed freely now, his chest so tight, he couldn't get air to his lungs and they burned, as he watched with blurred vision, Ally screaming without a sound, fighting back and sobbing. He bristled as the one holding her down backhanded her across the face, and felt his own jaw sting with the assault.

"Not My Baby...…. Don't hit her, don't hit my baby!!!!" Sylar's voice was hysterical, failing to suppress his sobs, his emotions heightened because of the drugs. Nathan had never seen him like this, and he liked it. He liked it a lot.

"You want it to stop? Fall at my feet. Beg like the pathetic creature you are."

Sylar started to scowl, his lip quivering with both rage and pain, an emotion swathing him that was more dangerous than anything he'd ever felt before, Self Sacrifice. 

"Never."

"Hey Tom, I'm going to need you to bleed her." Nathan spoke calmly into his earpiece."

"Like HELL you are!!!!!" Sylar's rage burned through the pain, engulfing him and Nathan in the catching flame like wildfire, as he hurled himself at him with murderous intent. But the drugs had dulled his reflexes, and Nathan slammed him hard into the glass, grasping his jet black hair, and holding his forehead against the glass, as Sylar struggled against him, growling.

Ally was still fighting hard against her attackers too, but they overpowered her, one of them returning the needle to the container, retrieving, instead, a scalpel and silicone cup. Sylar released the full force of his scream into the glass, feeling the vibration against his lips, the sound reverberating through the room, echoing through the entire space, as the blade sank into Ally's pale skin, dark red blood trickling down her forearm, into the waiting cup.

His body couldn't take it anymore, between the drugs and the horror he broke...…. Sylar sobbed bitterly, and Nathan loosened his hold on the back of his head, letting him fall, helpless, to the ground, legs crossed, looking like a frightened little boy, instead of a cold blooded killer.

"You really do love her."

"Please," Sylar breathed the single word, his voice frail, his eyes sincere.

"Fall at my feet, and I make it stop."

Sylar gritted his teeth, his cheeks shiny, wet with tears, the image of Ally's silent scream haunting him, begging him. He couldn't take it. He'd been compromised, and it terrified him what he'd do if it meant keeping her alive. Sylar got all the way down on the floor, revolted by the utter degradation, hating Nathan, and even more, hating himself.

"Hey Guys, that's enough for tonight. Get the girl bandaged up, and get the sample to the lab."

Nathan looked down at Sylar like he was a loathsome thing, an insect on the floor, and Sylar held his breath, as Nathan stepped directly onto his fingers, digging his heel in. 

"Look at you, The Big Bad Wolf...…. Now, you're just a whimpering pup. I own you."

Sylar had to bite his tongue to keep his scathing response from escaping his lips, and he seized up, his back arching, as he felt the pin prick in the back of his neck, a new rush of drugs flooding his system, his eyes going blank.

"Sweet Dreams, you Psychopath."

Sylar passed out on the floor, unable to fight off the heaviness of the newly introduced drugs mingling with the lingering effects of the ones previously administered, his mind paralyzed, and his body exhausted. Nathan strode out of the room, and the mechanical sound echoed through the space, as the door locked itself behind him. The lights died, darkness washing over Sylar's still form, his arm outstretched.

Silence.

Then.... the intercom crackled, as someone turned it back on, a bit of feedback, and a voice filled the room.

"Sylar!? Sy? Baby, can you hear me?"

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

um hello excuse me i just listened to that teenage dirtbag video and now i have no choice other than to ask you... what is up. that voice was lovely, the range the performer had when switching to the girl's role i?? hello??? so is this the uh... god um. dear evan hansen or the uhhhh oh my god sorry im typing as im thinking this is hell. the other one. be more chill? i have some friends into these things but never paid much attention but after that vid my inch rest is how do you say, Peaked.

it just hit me that the right word was actually 'piqued' rip me

hahahaha yeah i can tell you All About It.....see my origin story is that uh. fuckin uh right so i vaguely knew deh existed back when it was broadway-debuting at the end of 2016 and probably many of us were vaguely aware it existed, but then in the next summer (2017) i heard a cover of one of its songs and i was like “i can tell this is one of those songs that would be given way more context if i knew the plot” and by that point the wikipedia entry had a plot summary available and i got that context and even though he was fairly briefly mentioned, one of the side characters Piqued My Interest b/c i just knew like. aha that already feels like a character type i would rly latch on to. and this was in the back of my mind for a while and for like the next year i would intermittently check out another song or two or get a little bit more lore, but it wasn’t until like, fall 2018 i finally went “you know what, i am gonna dive in for Maximum Lore actually” and my motivation for doing this was cuz i wanted to find out all the info about The One Side Character lmfao, like, the “main plot” and “entire actual show” to me is just the Lore for him basically b/c that was truly my angle hahaha and my interest was further piqued b/c like i quickly went “oh so he’s secretly in love with the protagonist right, got it,” which like. was a latent vibe i got from that very first wikipedia plot summary readthrough tbh lmfao. and is True.

and then even after deciding to dig into the lore and confirming that Yes i love this character as i thought i would it took like another week or two before i ever like, Watched dear evan hansen lmfaooo and i’ve never stopped complaining about the show since ljdfs but not Not b/c the character isn’t as good as i thought (or b/c Nothing Else is good either, but. you know how it is. #canon 9_9 ) and then in the course of looking for More Content i was you know, looking at a variety of posts On Here and looking at some behind-the-scenes / bonus content type stuff on youtube and went “oh well hey the actor that plays that character i love is also a nice funny guy according to testimony and also that i like his vibe in these vids” and, fun fact as is the nature of live theatre (and it being like, oct / nov 2018 by then) he was not still the Current actor for said character but had, in fact, moved on to be more chill and Already Completed a late summer off-broadway run as the lead (and a bway run had been announced already, though im not Certain i remember the point / how i became aware of this lol).....which again, i too had Heard Of (and had once ages prior coincidentally leafed thru the book once and read a few excerpts but knew nothing abt anything beyond that).....but hilariously while i Knew he was in bmc thru some 101 research, i was like “okay i’ll move on to that in a sec” while focusing on deh for a while still b/c it was not until i happened to casually look up “okay so what does his character do in this show i’m completely unfamiliar with” that i went “oh fuck he’s the LEAD????!!!” lmaooo like i did Not realize this and that upped my urgency abt it

a very very broad description of bmc is that it’s a Fun Show coz it’s this teen scifi Magical Realism plotline classic musical comedy type of thing, a genre we all already know and love lol /j, and importantly, the music is fuckinggg Bops. very common “gateway drug” is This song. there’s an Original Broadway Cast Album all on youtube (and, somewhat confusingly im sure, an Original Cast Album, but that was an off-off-bway run, and i’m interested squarely in the off-bway and bway versions lmfao, so, and that is what one will get recommended from me (more updated versions of all the songs anyways)) and also, this is basically a tangential thought i had but circling back around to deh, My Guy (will roland as jared kleinman) does not actually get all that much singing material in the show (v different situation from be more chill) even in the song that features his character most heavily, but that song also happens to be the most fun song in deh and also a bop, and here’s an especially fun live performance to check out if u wanna, the other two dudes are not official cast members lmfao but still

and like, when all this deh-ing and enthusiastic bmc-ing (which i got into Just In Time to be following along with its broadway run, which was very fun to do) affirmed like boy i love this Actor’s Material for sure, i did a little digging into his nicher Credits, including, one fateful day in march, his tv credits, which meant i like stumbled across the fact he has this recurring role in Billions(tm) and that stumbling = immediately falling flat on my face b/c i Loved the content and we coincidentally got really into it Just In Time before the next season’s stuff started airing with him in it, and that was truly an Experience we’ve been having ever since. that’s it’s own insane tangent b/c this show is fucking Something Else but, jsyk, since i am talking about “billions” left and right and stuff, that’s the vague context for that. latched onto a character -> the actor -> the actor’s other stuff, and that [other stuff] is getting brought up around here a lot, especially billions.....we’re having fun and following our hearts with it lmao

i’m Not Great at finding a balance between “doing an elaborate lore dump when someone asks me ‘what’s X about?’ and i spend the next several hours just play by play walking them through the whole thing” and “trying to avoid doing that where i get Too In Depth and instead end up just overly glossing over it all and they’re like ‘that doesn’t give me any info :/’” but i Can and Will talk more in depth about any of this stuff b/c yeah........but between deh and bmc, i definitely like bmc more Overall and....in the specifics of it too.....and like the obcr way better......and uh Everything about it better lmfaooo but i also love the particular characters Jared and Alana, side character teens in deh, so im always about That as well..........but if u were like “hm which might i look into a little first,” i gotta say like, i like bmc better both as a matter of My Personal Taste and from a more critical standpoint of “what is the show meant to be / does it accomplish what it wants to” type stuff. even though deh is the critical darling lmfao go figure! *i* decide what’s good, actually, and as we all know, i’m correct and a genius. which, haha im joking, but i Am right and i Am not Not smart in ways lol

aaaaaaand yeah additionally like. can and will answer Any more particular questions about any of this shit b/c, it’s my shit, and you know how i roll

and p.s. glad you liked the Teenage Dirtbag it is such a good performance lol. naturally getting real into this one actor / singer’s shit means that there’s also stuff Outside [performing a particular role] which is still some sweet sweet content, such as other solo performances during a concert / cabaret stuff.....the lore is Very Rich and is V Good so it’s fun

[lonelyshrimp]

What happened with your roomies if you don’t mind me asking...?

 Yknow what I’m in a mood and they don’t know my tumblr (haha they think I’m a cisstraight girl lol) so let’s get into some shit. Imma put everything under a read more bc imma rant a bit and this is gonna get long.

TW: food, unsanitary (general things not being kept clean, typically bathroom and kitchen related), drug use, fighting, slurs

tl;dr if you dont feel like reading this beast:

They steal what food i dare leave out in the kitchen rather tan keep in my room

They slam doors excessively, fight, yell horrible things to each other, have friends over yelling at like 2 am (last night for example)

Leave the doors unlocked and open?? We cant even lock the front door anymore??? (Dw the doors to our rooms all have locks. If I’m in my room or out of the house, my door is locked)

Constantly throw around the r slur. Like. All the time. Including one person having called me it. Y i k e s

One person keeps smoking in the house even though i’ve asked numerous times (and even have a note on my door) asking people to please smoke outside, it gives me headaches. You are physically hurting me stop.

Don’t Clean Anything. The kitchen is a wreck. The toilets are constantly clogging, I Am In Hell.

For context: the house is a one story house divided into a main floor and finished basement. It’s a rooming house and the basement is largely seperate from upstairs. (They have a kitchen door that they keep closed and locked.) The stairs to the basement are split into two smaller flights, with a landing in between the floors. That’s where the side door is. The public spaces upstairs are the kitchen (connects to stairs), the hallway, and the two bathrooms (big main one, tiny water closet by the front door). The rest of the upstairs is split into five rooms. For comprehension sake, we’ll call my roommates: The Couple (M&F), A, T, and J.

Mmkay lets start with the least egregious and move our way up, shall we? Theft! Of anything and everything! No one can have anything out in the public areas if they actually care about it. It. Will. Get. Stolen. Now, I have a mini fridge and the second biggest room here, so I’m lucky in that 99% of my groceries, as well as all my other belongings, fit in my room. There’s just a wee problem: I don’t have a freezer. Not to fear, past naïve me thought, I’ll just clean out and use the locked freezer since I still have the keys for that fridge! (We have two fridges and food theft was a problem beforehand and so me and my friend who lived here cleaned out the second fridge to use as our own and kept it locked.) I decided to do this after I had bought myself some ice cream, wrote my name on the top, and put it in the main freezer. I go to have some ice cream later that week, I open the tub for the first time (as in I removed the seal holding the lid onto the tub) to find that someone eaten half the tub of ice cream while making it seem like it hadn’t been opened. I know it happened at home bc the spoon marks were clear as day and I have to walk 20 minutes back from the grocery store. That woulda melted by then (Also I would’ve noticed at the store that. The tub was hella lopsided??? And way too light???) So yea of course I’m ticked now, I spent 6 bucks on that bro like just ask or get ur own??? So I put it the other freezer, and for a while it’s fine. Next month I decide to treat myself to some frozen waffles and some chicken strips and come home to find that the hinges holding the locks onto the doors of the fridge were torn out of the fridge/freezer doors. Like. The screws were pried outta this metal door rendering the locks completely useless (to the point i wouldn’t even be able to put the hinges back on.) And the cherry on top?? My ice cream was gone!!! Hope u enjoyed it, asshole. So whatever. Fine. I put my food away and. a week later?? Im like “Man i could go for some waffles rn”. I bought 2 8 packs. One chocolate chip, one cinnamon (y’all i literally buy the cheapest ones Zehrs sells. 2,19$ a box y’all. not even eggos). Surprise surprise!! The entire box of choccy chip ones GONE. Mind u, i wrote my name on all of these boxes, as well as a very large “DO NOT EAT”. so i begrudgingly had a couple (note that, 2) cinnamon waffles and move on. A couple days later I go to have some more and. The waffles are completely gone. Out of a total of 16 waffles, ya boy got a solid 2. (It’s worth noting that there was a single waffle left, but at 0,27$ a waffle, I didn’t mind leaving the box on the table with a note basically reading “these are cheap af, buy ur own bitch”.) (I didn’t swear that much tho)

I’d add the bike to the list but i can’t confirm nor deny that one of my roommates stole my tires and seat off my bike (although M does work on bikes all the time so man idk.)

Next up: wow people here are l o u d. I’m talking slamming doors all the time, slamming things around, yelling, playing music wildly loud. It’s awful. Like. You can just. Close the door quietly? Stop slamming things around please? It’s awful because loud sudden noises make me panic and lemme tell ya, wakin up at eight am bc your a-hole roommate decided to slam the door eight times bc the front door is broken because someone took the border around the jamb off instead of fixing it so we can actually?? lock that door?? because it doesnt quite fit in the jamb and so the only wat to lock it was the chain lock and. someone took that too so thats fun :)))))). The side door isn’t that much better. We have a code lock and. No One Ever Locks It. Like. I’ll come outta room and?? It’s just open????? Close the door???????????

The worst, however, is the fucking fighting. The Couple love to argue all the time. and yell at each other and slam the doors or smashing shit and they yell pretty awful things to each other. Like. I’ve heard M call his gf some awful shit. It’s worse when they have people over too. The other day there were like. 14 cops in here bc of them at like 2 am. Cue me, 2 am, trying to watch a livestream and seeing like??? Six cop cars pull up????? Wh a t????? Not fun not good for my brain.

God and. What is with everyone and the r slur??? Like what?? there are so many words you can choose stop using that word. Like okay the other night someone?? took the dc adapter for the wireless modem and one of the dudes downstairs as well as the couple were looking to see if they had a compatible dc adapter and so i just decided to wait?? and i just spaced out a bit okay whatever i was lookin at the wall like i do and fuckin. the couple had a couple friends over and one of em was chillin between the kitchen and the hall and M yells out from his room “Hey don’t you feel weird with this creepy ass bitch standing next to you? Like what is she, m*ntally r*tarded?” like wow okay dude i’m literally not doing anything. Luckily his friends reaction was basically “?? She lives here?? She can stand there if she wants??” (wow referring to myself as she feels weird and wrong).

A big problem I have is I feel like theres a community in this house that I just don’t fit into? Part of it is I’m like. the only person here who doesn’t do drugs of any kind?? Like I have nothing against ppl who use drugs like whatever bro, but it feels super othering to me when i can’t relate to anyone here because of it. That and. Getting T in particular but really just anyone but A to respect me asking that if you’re going to smoke anything to do it outside because weed and to a lesser extent cigarette smoke trigger my sensory disorder and causes me pain and causes sensory overload and I still find myself asking people to smoke outside.Like I’ve never been unreasonable and said “no drugs in the house” or some bs. I’m just asking u to respect my disability thanks.And like?? I’ll get into this in a second but there were needles in the toilet?? Bro throw them out properly.

And now: Hell.

Can no one clean up after themselves?? Do your dishes. If theres food left on your plate, throw it out first, don’t dump it in the sink. Seriously the kitchen sink is fucked. The kitchen is gross. The microwave ugh ugh ugh no thanks. No one can clean everything. This is why all my cookware and dishes are in my room. That way I can make sure I 1) Still Own It and 2) Its clean and usable. I clean them as I go and just use my own shit.

Nothing compares to the bathrooms, though. It seems like every other day one of the toilets are clogged. Last week there were spoons in the sink?? Like at least 10 spoons. In the bathroom sink. The floor is dirty because no one owns a mop and?? there was one in the kitchen?? I haven’t seen it in like a month. And the worst of all. Okay, it’s really bad when every one up here is between like. 16 and 19 I think? And I had to put up a sign in the bathroom asking people to flush when you’re done??? And I still have to flush before I can use the washroom???? And it feels like every week or so. The toilet’s clogged. Oh! I forgot to mention that the water closet doesn’t even have a doorknob anymore. Someone took it. But wait, it gets worse. Seriously if extremely unsanitary things bother u, stop reading now.

Twice in the past month I’ve had to contact the landlord because the toilets were beyond clogged. The first time was bad but oh lord nothing compares to the second time (aka last week). The first time was your pretty standard toilet clogs and backs up and its very gross. I contacted the landlord and it was fixed the next day and it was fine. For. Two Days. Im serious. See. People here have a real issue it seems of “The person before me didn’t flush so neither will I”, leading to a toilet bowl full of like. a half a roll of toilet paper and waste. F u n. What that led to was the toilet clogging, people not doing anything about it, and continuing to use it. Eventually the toilet bowl was full, so trow a shopping bag over the lid to mark the toilet as “Out of order” and move on to the other one.Both toilets were completely unusable. I emailed the landlord and i don’t know if either they or one of the people living here contacted them, but the old landlord and old property manager were here the other day to clean them out and fix them?? and yea among all the standard waste you’d expect in a toilet, there were needles? Like buddy theres a trash can right there? I know u had the needle caps bc they were in there too. just... disgusting...

bro this is just what i can think of off the top of my head i know theres more but oh no this is so long now. just. this is a lot more detail than u wanted but i wanted to get this out of my brain??

[pivitor]

Emotional Roller-Coaster This Week

So, the last eight days have been an absolute whirlwind. Some really great things happened. Some really bad things happened. I’m kinda still reeling. I had some big firsts, and spent some time with great friends, had some real catharsis. I also fell further into depression than I have in a long, long time, and, oh yeah, got diagnosed with a chronic illness.

I need to get this all off my chest, cause I’m drowning. Join me? 

Before we start, there’s two things you need to know about me. Both are things I’ve mentioned in bits and pieces on here, but here’s the full story:

1. Three months ago I had shoulder surgery to repair a torn labrum (I technically tore it when I dislocated my arm in high school, and it’s been popping out on me once every other year or so ever since, but my most recent [and now final] dislocation was very bad and sent me right to the doctor). I spent about two weeks out of work, just sitting at home on the couch in a sling. The pain wasn’t great, but it was worse mentally: I put on a couple pounds and immediately started to feel terrible about myself, and being stuck at home when I wanted to be out there, doing stuff with friends or with guys or to reach a point where I can move out, felt terrible. I wasn’t in a great headspace for a long time. As of now I have about 95% of my arm function back, and am fully healed, just trying to get back the last of my range of motion and gradually increase back to my old strength threshold.

2. This one is a bit more complicated. I’ve talked a lot here about how I grew up in a cult, but I never went into further detail. Well, here we go: I was a J*hovah’s W*tness. (I’m censoring this because I don’t want this showing up in searches) It wasn’t something I would have ever chose for myself, but when you’re born into it, you’re pretty heavily indoctrinated -- I thought it was the gospel truth despite having many reasons not to. They’re a very homophobic organization, so growing up in it wrecked my self esteem. My entire childhood and time as a teenager I thought I was worthless and doomed, destined for eternal destruction. I was often suicidal. When I was about 18 or 19 the cult printed an article “clarifying” their view on homosexuality, and said they recognized that some people are just naturally attracted to the same gender and as long as they don’t act on it they’re still “acceptable” to God. It’s dangerous bullshit that makes me so angry now, but as a brainwashed, suicidal teenager, it felt like the only chance I had to live a worthwhile life, so I got baptized into the religion, which is the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life, because once you’re a baptized member of the cult, if you leave you’ll be shunned by everyone you’ve ever known. Your own parents will treat you as if you’re dead. I was very zealous for a year or two before realizing that I just couldn’t do it anymore, but it’s taken me nearly ten years to fully wake up from the indoctrination, read information from outside religions, scientists, and former members who have left. Currently I still live with my family and have to pretend to still believe (because the moment I don’t they’ll kick me out on the street), and am on the cusp of two promotions at work. As soon as those go through, I should be able to save money to move out, which I wanna do before the summer, and then I’ll be completely free.

Okay, the rollercoaster week itself:

Pre-Monday: For about a week, a week and a half before this all started, I’d been experiencing some pain in my side that was making it hard to sit up for long periods of time. This normally would’ve been a major red flag, but thanks to the shoulder surgery, I’d been having random back pains off and on recently anyway. I assumed it was related to me overcompensating for the shoulder and left it alone. Big mistake.

Monday: So one of my promotions at work involves a coaching center we’re launching. We were supposed to do our first presentation last Monday, and when my boss showed up for it, everything fell apart. It wasn’t totally my fault -- the general condition of the office itself wasn’t up to par, and the boss recognized that there wasn’t much I could do about that -- but a lot was, and I spent all week trying to fix things and get them running, and running into one major roadblock and frustration after another. We’re finally doing the presentation today, but it technically still isn’t 100% fixed. Work has been a major, major source of stress all week. I don’t think I’ll mention it again because there’s not much more to it than what I’ve listed here, but remember that it’s hanging over my head all week.

Monday night I was invited to a birthday party for a friend from my gym. Since the cult doesn’t celebrate holidays, I’d never actually been a birthday party before, complete with cake and singing happy birthday and everything. It was really nice -- even though it was truly just a bunch of guys hanging around a bar watching the Eagles, it still felt like something really special. I also spent about a half an hour in my car before I walked into the bar trying not to hyperventilate. I don’t feel guilty at all as I may have once, but I was still really worried about being seen by someone and my family finding out.

Wednesday: Tuesday was my only truly normal day of the week, and even then, we had my cousin staying with us up until Wednesday, so even then it wasn’t truly normal. We normally have church on Thursday nights (I have to attend so as not to blow my cover, but I tend to stand in the lobby and play on my phone the entire time; it’s a nice chance to catch up on my reading usually), but I had a concert on Thursday I was not going to miss, so I told my parents I was going to a different congregation on Wednesday night, but instead I went to Starbucks and caught up on Crisis on Infinite Earths. It’s...depressing that this is what I’m reduced to, but I was happy that it finally occurred to me to just...lie about it.

When I got home and took off my shirt to change into my pajamas, I noticed a patchy, red rash on my stomach, side, and back, right around the same area I’d been having pain for the last week or two. I’d absolutely never had anything like this happen before, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I crossed my fingers that it was an allergic reaction, put some cortisone cream on it, and decided to wait a couple days to see if anything changed.

Thursday: On Thursday I drove up to Philly after work, and ate a few slices at my favorite pizza place, reading comics, until it was time for the concert. It was a free show from Pkew Pkew Pkew, a band I truly, truly love, and it was one of my favorite shows of the year. Just pure joy. They played for about an hour, but were the opening act, and I don’t care for the headliner (Beach Slang), so I had originally had a few ideas about what I could do afterwards, considering that their set was over by 10 or so. I could go home (coward’s option), I could go to the Barcade. What I really wanted to do was go to a gay bar or club. I’d gone right before my surgery and had a great time, but I’d been avoiding going back (or joining a dating app or anything else) until my arm fully healed because it would very much have gotten in the way of doing anything physical. I was finally in the place where I could use my arm, but now I had that strange mysterious rash, and didn’t think it was right to do anything like that until I’d figured it out/gotten it cleared up. I don’t wanna pass anything on to anybody.

By sheer coincidence, Philly’s Emo Night ended up being this very same night (this one is held once a month), so I ended up heading over there and dancing until 2AM. I got very drunk and had a fantastic time. But there were a lot of couples. There was this girl that kept hitting on me, and then getting pissy when I didn’t reciprocate. There was this extremely hot dude in a Misfits hoodie, and early in the night we were the only two who were dancing, and he gave me a high five that he pulled into a bro hug after the song, which got me all riled up, but I couldn’t work it into anything else haha. And then this group of about four guys or so showed up, dancing all night, very affectionate, cupping each other’s faces when they talked to each other and all that. I’d seen them before and both times thought they might be gay, so I stuck close and was kinda part of their group for the night, which was really really fun. At the end of the night, one of them mentioned their girlfriend, and I reeled way more than I had any right to. I had a fantastic night. I went home feeling very alone.

Friday: Friday was my gym’s Christmas Party, which, much like Monday, was my first ever Christmas Party. I had a really fun time chatting with everyone, eating, watching one friend get drunk, try to jump up on the rings, and get dragged home by his wife. We had rowing contests and the losers had to take shots. But there was one guy there I’ve always had a crush on, a very straight, very married guy, and he was looking extremely hot and was acting extremely funny all night, and it was rough. I went home and dreamed about him all night. I woke up feeling even more alone and frustrated.

Saturday: I was pretty depressed and listless by this point. Feeling really sorry for myself despite all the fun I’d had all week. I had plans to drive up to Asbury Park for an Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties show and I just...really didn’t feel like going. But I drug myself out of bed and made myself go, because you don’t miss the gig. Before the show I wandered around Asbury, basically torturing myself. I wanted to visit a restaurant but had eaten lunch too late and wasn’t hungry. I found a gay club but still had that rash, so I didn’t wanna go in. I ended up standing on the beach, in the dark, finally having a genuine smile as I dodged the waves, but also just thinking about how sometimes Kangaroos just walk into the ocean and...never come back. I was not in a good headspace. I made myself get off the beach.

The show though...damn, that show. Dan played the second Aaron West album, Routine Maintenance, from front to back, and it’s an album about Aaron making the people in his life proud of him, about his friends giving him direction, about finding redemption through being there for his family in their darkest hour. That kind of shit is my kryptonite to begin with, but all I could think about was how all I had ever wanted in my life was to make my family proud, and how I’d never be able to do it, how someday soon they’re just...never gonna talk to me again. I cried twice during the set. And afterwards I got to hug Dan and tell him how much the album fucks me up. It was really cathartic. I felt the cloud start to lift.

Sunday: So Sunday I finally go to the doctor about this fucking rash, which hadn’t gotten any worse but had not gotten any better either. The diagnosis?

I have fucking shingles.

For those who don’t know, shingles is the chicken pox virus. After you’ve had chicken pox it never really leaves your body -- it stores itself away in your nerves. As an adult, it can reemerge as shingles, which begins as an intense pain, then advances into painful rashes on one side of your torso. Without intervention, they can continue to spread and become almost immobilizing. I’m currently on a pill I have to take three times a day for seven days, which will stop the progression of the shingles, and then it will heal up on its own, but it could take a few weeks.

Thankfully, I’m not contagious -- I can only spread the disease if someone has prolonged, direct contact with the rashes. I can be around people, but like I feared, it does rule out sex for a while. The worst part is that shingles as a disease can’t really be healed. The symptoms will go away, but I’ll be susceptible to outbreaks the rest of my life. Fortunately, the doctor made it sound pretty manageable -- the pain in my side, in that exact same spot, will always be my first symptom, so as soon as I feel that I need to get to a doctor and get back on the seven day medication to end the flare-up. It doesn’t sound like shingles flare-ups are super common either -- reading up on it, it looks like most people have, at the most, three outbreaks in their life. But, it’s still a chronic illness, and it’s one that’s very rare to emerge at this young of an age -- this is something you normally get in your fifties or sixties, not your early thirties! 

Honestly, I could only laugh. Just my luck, right? I’m so frustrated. My arm’s finally reached the point where I can get back to trying to pursue guys, but nope! the shingles has to postpone it a few more weeks :/

But despite it all, the depression of the rest of the week had mostly lifted. I had processed it. I was feeling better. For a while.

Back in the spring I had joined a subreddit for former members of the cult, which is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, as it let me share my story with people who had been there and understood, and really helped clear out the last remnants of the programming from my brain. Every once in a while different gay Ex cult member will contact me on there, and I’ve struck up a few nice casual friendships. Last week a guy reached out to me on there looking for friends in the same situation as him, and I replied, and on Friday he finally replied back, and we texted each off and on Saturday and Sunday morning. Sunday night, though, we got into a deeper conversation. He’s in his early twenties, and some of the stuff he was asking for advice about made it sound like he was just starting to wake up from the programming and just starting to think about leaving and being gay and everything. Eventually, as we talk more, I find out that that’s not fully the case. He’s jealous of some of the stuff I’ve done that he hasn’t -- going to Pride, going to gay bars -- but unlike me, he’s had a fair amount of sex. Like any closeted Witness, he had to drive into unfamiliar cities to do so, and it’s a strategy I’ve thought of trying but never pulled off. 

I dunno, I’m so depressed. I feel like such a failure. I know having sex doesn’t make you a better person, and not having sex doesn’t intrinsically make you a failure. But I feel like this because I want it so badly, because I always have, and I could have been doing it for years, and I’ve been really forced to confront the fact that it’s my own fear that’s been getting in my way all this time. If I’d really tried I could’ve done it by now. If I really tried I probably could’ve moved out and started my new life by now -- I’d probably be dirt broke in an apartment with like eight roommates, but I could’ve done it. I don’t feel like anybody else, including this guy I was chatting with, have been judging me for this, but I’m pretty disgusted with myself, irrational as it may be. I know it’s not true, but I feel like my whole life has been a waste of time. And I’m so fucking sick of it.

So. This is everything I’ve been processing this week. I don’t really know what to do with it. I’ve gotta be patient a little while longer. Keep working on my real estate licensing test so I can make some more money. Wait for the shingles to heal up. Get on Grindr and just, fucking, fuck some dude the moment I’m cleared up.

But fuck, I’m so fucking sick of waiting.

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

I LOVE Stelena as well and don't have enough room here to explain why, but you covered it so beautifully in your post! I also loved the Juliet Burke gifset you just reblogged and would love to hear your brilliant analysis of her as well. She's a tough character for me to completely grasp! Also, do you ship her with Sawyer? Jack? Neither?!

Yay, you love Stelena too. They’re just amazing, aren’t they? I’m exactly the same as you and could speak forever about why I love them. It was so hard to keep my response in the previous ask so short, but I did my best haha. 

Ah, Juliet! I absolutely love Juliet and I ship her with Sawyer. Absolutely no hesitancy there. 

Honestly, I can see why some people might’ve found Juliet hard to grasp. I put it down to the fact that she’s introduced to us as an Other and therefore is essentially an antagonist. I also think that Elizabeth Mitchell was incredibly good at making Juliet appear mysterious and dark. I remember thinking in the beginning that she was nothing but a manipulator whose aim and job was to break Jack. I mean, that was true to an extent, but obviously as the episodes progess and we learn more about her back-story we discover there’s a lot more to it than that. 

How I’d describe Juliet is an incredibly compassionate, nurturing and loving person that was actually good right down to her core, but I feel like sometimes this gets lost on people. She struggled with intimacy and letting people get close to her as a result of her parents divorce (and the way her scumbag ex-husband treated her probably only added to that), but we saw how deeply and truly she loved with the select few that she did let into her heart. Her relationship with her sister was particularly touching. She was the one person she loved more than anything else in the world and everything she did on the island was because she so desperately wanted to get home to her. 

What I think is so often overlooked when it comes to Juliet is that she was a victim. She was cornered by Richard and essentially coerced into accepting a job they claimed would transform her life and her career, she was then drugged, transported to a mysterious island and once she was there held against her will. She was told she would only be there for 6 months and she expressed on numerous occasions that she wanted to leave (particularly when she found out her sister’s cancer had returned) but Ben wouldn’t let her leave. Because of his infatuation with her, which was completely one sided and unwanted by Juliet, he held her prisoner and kept her from getting the her sick sister. Ben emotionally blackmailed her, telling her if she stayed he would cure her sister’s cancer and let her go home, which meant she was essentially answerable to Ben at all times and forced to follow his orders, because she wanted to please him in the hopes that he would keep his promises.

That one line always sticks in my head where Jack says something like, “I saw it in your eyes. When that submarine blew up you were devastated. You want to get off this island as much as I do and that makes you one of us.” Juliet was never truly an Other, she was a prisoner of the island (and more specifically Ben) as much as Jack, Sawyer, Sayid, Kate, Jin, Sun and all of the others. 

Juliet at all times was driven by love and compassion. When she took the job on the island it was because she wanted to help people and save lives. She was told that women on the island were dying and she wanted to stop that from happening. She literally impregnated her sister whose reproductive system had been destroyed by chemotherapy, because what her sister wanted more than anything else in the world was a baby. She helped Sun when she was pregnant, saved Claire when she got sick, saved Jack’s life when he needed his appendix removed, she even helped try to save little Ben’s life, despite everything he’d done (or was going to do) to her. Likewise, when she manipulated Jack in the beginning it was because Ben told her if she did what he asked he’d let her go home to her sister and later when she went behind Ben’s back and asked Jack to let Ben die during the operation it was because she realised she couldn’t trust a word he said. The only way she could ensure she could return home to her sister was if Ben died. When Jack outed her plan to Ben and the others, she denied it because that was what anyone else in that situation would do. Ben was essentially a dictator and her captor who the hell would hold their hands up and admit they attempted treason against a dictator? She did what she had to survive. When she was branded a traitor for killing an Other, it was under Ben’s orders. Later, Ben ordered her to go undercover and mark the tents of the pregnant women and report back to him about issues regarding fertility, but she told Jack the truth about what Ben had planned and helped stop it. 

Now my reason for bringing up all of these instances is because her actions were all over the place in the beginning, which is probably why you struggled to grasp her character. One minute she wanted Ben dead, then she was helping him to survive, then she agreed to help Ben and go undercover, but she told Jack about Ben’s plans and it was hard to gage where her loyalties lay and what her motivations were. But actually, if you put yourself in her position, it’s very easy to understand. She knew Ben was a liar and manipulator and that she couldn’t trust his word. So when Jack came along she began to wonder if there was a different way and if by joining Jack and the islanders, she would actually finally be able to go back home. But she never quite knew what to do for the best. On the one hand, Jack blatantly seemed the better option, but on the other Juliet knew that Ben had the power to send her back home if he chose to (he had a submarine and boat at his beckon call) and she also knew that despite the fact he asserted his control over her, to an extent she also had control over him because of how he felt about her. Therefore, it was a risk to jump ship and betray and leave Ben and the Others to join Jack and the islanders, because it wasn’t a guarantee they could help her return home. She was torn and I think anyone in that position would be. Let’s also not forget that she did spend three years of her life with the Others and so to an extent she must’ve come to see them as her family and just walking away from them wasn’t going to be an easy decision. And honestly, I don’t think Juliet ever was one or the other - an islander or an Other. I think she understood both sides and although she disagreed with Ben and resented him for how he’d treated her, she knew that there were instances where he did things to protect the island and his people. 

But returning back to what I said about Juliet always being driven by love and compassion, she waited on the island when everyone was getting rescued because she wanted to make sure everyone else got to the boat first and she quite literally used the last bit of life she had in her to detonate the hydrogen bomb because she wanted to save everyone from the terrible fate they’d suffered and undo it all. She was all about saving, protecting and helping people regardless of who they were or what the circumstance. And obviously, that’s why she chose to work in medicine, because it’s where her passions lay and what she wanted to devote her life to. 

I think when she fell in love with Sawyer and joined the Dharma Initiative, things changed for her a lot. For one thing, her main concern was no longer to return home, because they were in the past and therefore there wasn’t really a life for her to return to and her sister either wouldn’t have been born yet or a very young child. And really that was the first time since being on the island where she was actually free and able to do what she wanted, which I think allowed her to blossom and devote more time to her work again and just live. Juliet and Sawyer mentioned so many times how resentful they were of the islanders returning, because up until that point they were happy. They built a life for themselves and despite the fact that to an extent they had to lie because of the circumstances, I think they really found a place they belonged and a home. When it comes to the final season, I think it really showed just how selfless and amazing Juliet was. Not only did she welcome the islanders back (despite deep down wishing they’d never returned), but she risked her safety and everything she and Sawyer had built over the three years to keep them safe. She was lovely to Kate, which let’s be honest, was a very strained relationship given the circumstances. So many people in that situation would’ve been resentful and bitter since Kate was the woman Sawyer had been in love with, but she never took that out on Kate. In fact, she never took it out on Sawyer either. When she thought Sawyer still loved Kate, she simply told Sawyer that she knew he loved her and she was willing to let him go. She loved him so much but she immediately was willing to walk away and let him go if it meant he was going to be happy. She detonated the bomb all because she wanted Sawyer to find his happiness and she didn’t care if that meant she may never see him again or even meet him. I mean, that really is the ultimate selfless sacrifice of love. 

Since I’m on the subject of Sawyer and Juliet, I might as well briefly talk about why I ship them. I think that Sawyer and Juliet as a pairing aren’t necessarily that popular amongst LOST fans, mostly because people claim it was too rushed due to the time jump. I do understand why some feel this way, because I’ve gotta admit that it’s not ideal when as a viewer we don’t get to see the full development of two characters falling in love and the process of them getting together. But with Sawyer and Juliet, I never felt like that was necessary. No, they weren’t together before season 5, but the signs were there and it was an inevitability. Juliet always seemed to be able to reach Sawyer and to pull him back, which was a very big deal when it came to Sawyer since there was very little that could restrain him and usually no one that could make him see reason. They watched everyone they knew and care about disappear before their eyes and they started to rely on each other as the time jumps were happening because they were all they had left. When Sawyer asked her to stay with him, it was so clear that they were going to fall in love. Why do we need to see it to believe it? I already saw it. 

The thing I love about Sawyer and Juliet is they were themselves with each other. Who Sawyer was in the early seasons wasn’t really him, it was who he’d become through the trauma of his parents death, need for vengeance that consumed him and selfish and cruel lifestyle he led. Sawyer isn’t even his name. It’s the name the man assumed that caused his parents deaths. And that’s one of my favourite things about Juliet and Sawyer - she never called him Sawyer. To Juliet he was always James (or Jim) and I think that’s such a beautiful thing. He wasn’t Sawyer the con man to her, he was just James. Sawyer became a real person when he was with Juliet. He was able to shed that cold, hard exterior and stop hiding behind a name that wasn’t even his that represented nothing but misery and everything he hated about himself and his life. That barrier when it came to love is something they both had and it all can be traced back to their childhood and parents, but they broke through it together. With Kate, Sawyer could never be himself and he could never truly let his walls down because she never fully committed to him and she was always torn between him and Jack. Where as with Juliet he felt safe and assured because she loved him and only him. It was a relationship between two people, not three and that’s what he needed and what a relationship should be. As for Juliet, her experiences with men up until that point had hardly been positive and I’m sure she was terrified of opening herself up to someone again but because she knew Sawyer was just as scared as she was it made it easier. And as she got to know James she saw that he was a loyal, honest and good man that would devote himself to her and he did. 

Much like Stelena were built upon the idea of two broken people healing each other, so were Sawyer and Juliet. Up until the point where they were together they were both up and down. Sawyer was always torn between being the bad guy and the good guy and Sawyer or James and Juliet was always torn between being an Other or an islander, between doing terrible things and whatever it took to leave the island or doing the right thing even if it may prevent her leaving the island. It’s only once they were together that both of them seemed to really settle down and feel comfortable in who they were. And again, just like Stefan and Elena, they were so much better people together. It was amazing to see how they navigated themselves within the Dharma Initiative and how moral and good they were. When they were having to lie to their friends and people about the islanders, they hated it, but knew it had to be done. They both worked to save Ben’s life and agreed on that without hesitation. Up until the issues arose in regards to Juliet thinking he still had feelings for Kate, they were very much in sync. They had the same opinions on things and believed in the same thing and I noticed a pattern of them always being concerned with doing what was right. And they inspired each other to do what was right. There were so many times where one of them was afraid or doubting themselves and the other would step in and remind them who they were and that they were capable. I’m not a fan of belittling another ship in favour of another ship, but I feel like in this instance a comparison is the most effective way of capturing my point, so I’m going to talk about Sawyer and Kate for a second. Kate could’ve never done for Sawyer what Juliet did for him. Juliet was Sawyer’s conscience, his voice of reason, she was the good in his life, she saw who he was down to his core and allowed him to be vulnerable, kind and soft in a safe, understanding and encouraging environment. Kate was always so unstable, never able to soothe Sawyer or console him, she was always distressing him, she was selfish with him and unable to listen to him or encourage him or have any sort of positive impact in his life and despite the fact that she was considered one of the only people to see the good in him, I actually always felt like she saw the bad in him. There were times when things happened and she immediately assumed Sawyer had done them when he was innocent and I think unlike Juliet who saw James the person, Kate saw Sawyer the conman. I said I would only briefly talk about why I like Sawyer and Juliet and as always this has turned into an essay lmao. So I’ll end it by saying, in season 6 when Sawyer and Juliet reunited in “purgatory” that just cemented for me that they were absolutely soul mates. It was by far one of the most beautiful and romantic scenes across the 6 seasons and there was something about James’ and Juliet’s souls that just got each other. I also love that theirs is that kind of love where you go, “Oh, that’s unexpected, I never would’ve put those two together”, but it just works so damn perfectly and you realise that actually these two people were exactly everything they’ve needed and wanted their entire lives. For me, Sawyer and Juliet are that couple. 

But back to Juliet as an individual character, I’d summarise her as a character that was so completely benevolent that she dedicated her life to saving others, helping bring life into the world and giving people the joy of having a child where it was supposed to be impossible; who loved with every ounce of her being and was fiercely loyal and devoted to those she loved to the point whereby she’d do anything for them, despite having instilled in her skepticism and fear of love because of her parents divorce; that was understanding, open, forgiving and kind to everyone, even those that didn’t deserve it; that was manipulated, blackmailed, controlled, held prisoner and put into a horrendous situation whereby her life was stolen from her; that sometimes made bad judgement calls or wrong decisions in an impossible situation where all she desired was to return home to her sick sister; that through everything always did what she felt was best and right. 

I hope that seeing Juliet through my POV helps you to get a better understanding of her character, because honestly she’s a gem of a character and I want anyone and everyone that has watched LOST to be able to fully appreciate her for that. 

And thank you so much for asking this. I love love love giving analysis’ like this on characters/ships I love. 

[ohnohetaliasues]

Ahkira Amor Jackson (AoT)

(Kat)

Yeah, so I have some fan frazzled nerves. I just rewatched season one with my sister, and now we’re gonna do season two. But I have a few mary sues I’ve found and would like to review. (Update: I finished the anime and am now reading the manga.)

Oh god her titan design is killing me.

Also, her hair is much too long, and no bows allowed. If she’s in the scouting legion, Levi would take one look and tell her to take it off. 

Also, why does she have heterochromia in her titan form? Someone please tell me.

Name:  Ahkira Amor Jackson

Meaning: Amor- love.  Ahkira- bright, intelligent, or clear.

Okay, why is her name Asian? Asian people are almost extinct in the AoT universe.

Nickname(s): ki-ki, Love, shorty, short-stack. Age: 24 Gender: female Species: human (shifter)

I just started this review and I’m already tired of it.

Birthplace: wall sina, orvud district Current Residence: underground. (Explination in history)

This is going to be a Levi copy isn’t it?

Sexual Orientation: straight Relationship Status: single

Well, at least she isn’t shipped with Levi. 

Language(s) spoken: english Life-Long Dream: to see the ocean

That is so cliche I can’t even.

Goal(s): save humanity, get married, family Like(s): drawing, dancing around, juice (prefers apple) hanging with friends, helping erwin, hangi, levi, riding her horse, exploring outside (HQ), loves animals.

This just comes off as bland...

Dislike(s): the MPs,

Oh come on, nobody likes them.

 wall sina (the civilians) and the king, paperwork, being picked on b/c of her height, levi making her clean.

Levi does that to everyone. Don’t expect special treatment.

Bad Habit(s): twirling her hair in her fingers, falling asleep doing paperwork.

Only one of those habits is bad, and it isn’t even that bad.

Hobbies: drawing, helping out.

Helping out isn’t really a hobby.

Fear(s): losing her squad and friends, humanity losing 

BLAND.

Personality: sweet, generous, short tempered, can be serious at times when necessary, silly, abit oblivious.

All of this is kind of irrelevant, and won’t matter as soon as we get to the tragic history.

Weight: 126 lbs Hair style: (mostly down) long soft volumious curls, bangs are side swept

No. In AoT, girls either have short hair of they wear their hair back. Think Sasha, Hanji and Annie.

Hair Color: dark brown Eye Color: sky blue Skin Tone: fairly tan Body Shape/Build: slim, think thighs

I’d imagine muscular or lean, seeing as she’s a soldier.

Birth Marks: none

Everyone has birthmarks. I have one on my toe, scalp (covered by my hair), and one on my inner thigh.

Scar(s): 2 down her shoulder blades, cut scars on wrists and thighs (barely visible)

Just... What are those scars from? And self-harm does not make your OC edgy or cool. It isn’t something to joke about, either. 

Other: always wearing her blue bow

No. Hair accessories are a no in AoT. They get in the way.

Health- Memory (any issues with this?): none Sight (do you need glasses?): no Mental (Any problems? Example: depression): depression (comes back every once in awhile)

Yeah, depression isn’t something that makes you cool either. It ruins lives. I have experience, so I know firsthand how horrible depression is. It makes you miserable. Anyone else who has it will agree with me. Also, depression isn’t something that comes and goes. It can be suppressed by medicine though. 

Physical (Do you take care of your body or harm it? Also include injuries): used to be self harmer in her underground days

Wow. I've run out of things to say about this. 

Other than the fact that my point stands. 

Sleep patterns (how you sleep and how much rest do you get?): enough, takes naps when able to Allergies/Other: none

Blandddddd.

Abilities/Statistics (1- lowly skilled, 10- highly skilled and tell why)-

3D Maneuvering Gear: 10 (father taught her)

That isn’t how that works. An ordinary person couldn’t just teach someone how to use the 3DMG. You have to recieve special military training.

Well, then there’s Levi, but he stole it in the No Regrets series. Another option is if her father stole it. I dunno, but I think the problem here is pretty clear.

Intelligence: 7 Martial Arts: 10 (father trained her)

Okay, was her father a soldier? Are are you trying to pull an Annie on me?

Battle Skill: 10 

Tell me why?

Agility: 9 Strategy: 8 Teamwork: 9 Passion: 8

TELL ME WHY ALL OF THESE ARE UNREALISTICALLY HIGH? THEY ARE AS UNREALISTIC AS REICHERU’S BREAST SIZE.

Affiliation: survey corps

Of freaking course.

Rank: Lieutenant/squad leader

Do it for my sake.

Status: Alive

Titan Shifter- Title: crystal titan

I’m dying here.

Appearance (try to touch on everything included in Appearance): full body in skin, arms  up to shoulder are covered in markings in flesh ( markings are actually her tattoos that are covered under her sleeves ) left eye is icy blue, right eye; white/sclera is black, her iris is red.

NO.

NO.NONONOJHJVUKJHDVFUKAEDGFUYEDGYFSFGEFWGEFEEFGFJGFJHGDGHGFSJHDGFJFSGDHJJHGDFSSHGFAJDHGFJSDNO

TITANS LOOK LIKE THIS: 

NOT THE FREAK OF NATURE JUST DESCRIBED TO ME.

On her fore head is crystals (in this formation 

www.google.com/search?q=head+j… ). Crystals ( shaped like thiswww.google.com/search?q=crysta…) or on top on shoulders and back of elbows. Long crystal claw like fingernails. The nape of her neck is protected by crystals. Mouth is closed shut (opens when she roars or rip other titans with apart with her mouth.) 2 long sharp k9’s are shown on lower jaw 2 smaller k9s shown on top jaw. Her hair is flowy 

What class Titan (15m, etc.): 12m Transformation caused by….:  when amulet is ripped off (www.google.com/search?q=amulet…) {still havent drawn it on her.}

Titan transformation is caused by pain.

Do your research.

Also, jewelry isn’t worn in AoT by soldiers. 

Did you have previous knowledge of being able to change?: yes If yes, how did you find out?: she was helping her mother cut vegetables and she cut her finger, the cut crystalized then seconds later was healed. Started learning more and more later on as she grew older.

How... How does that tell her she can transform?

How well can you control it?: can transform at will. ( full control )

I am so freaking done.

Relationships- Parent(s): very close to mother, was close to father. Both dead

The E D G E

Sibling(s): none Love Interest: levi

IT

IS

ALWAYS

LEVI

STOP

I ACTUALLY GROANED OUT LOUD. 

Best Friend(s): levi, erwin, hangi, eren, jean, mike 

She’s best friends with Erwin, the commander?

Also, it’s either Hange or Hanji. Not a hodgepodge of the two.

Friend(s): isabel, farlan (underground days)  mostly all of 104 trainee  graduates,

Haha, no. Those were Levi’s friends. Not this Mary sue’s. End of story.

I have 0% patience left. 

 squad levi, 

Only the soldiers who are handpicked by Levi himself get to join this squad. The soldiers in the Levi Squad are elite as they come. This OC is many things, but elite isn’t one of them.

(her squad -derek, lillian, thomas, 

Thomas is dead.

james, christian.)

Quote(s): im not scared of anything in this world, except insanity.

History/Life: Ahkira had a fairly good childhood, until she lost her mom. When she was 5 her mother became very ill, after a few months her mother passed away and both her and her father were crushed. Her father was a former squad leader in the survey corps then soon left after his child was born (ahkira).

You... can’t just quit. Abandonment is punishable by death. 

 Her father became more cold and distant from her after the lost of her mother

The father is a jerk, then.

, he started drinking heavily and using drugs, after a month he became violent towards ahkira blaming her for Priscillas (mother) death.

How is this her fault?

 This went on for 2 years, one night ahkira was crying in her room w bruises covering her arms and legs, she sat in the corner of her bed crying into her teddy bear her mom got her for her 3rd birthday.

CHILD ABUSE ISN’T EDGY EITHER!

Ahkira quietly came in dragging her fathers old 3dmg sword. At this point her right blue eye was crimson red.

She went up behind him and stabbed him straight in the back piercing through the front. 

THAT ISN’T NORMAL THREE-YEAR-OLD BEHAVIOR. 

After that she took the 3dmg packed a few clothes and left. She somehow ended up going into the underground, where she became known as ‘the little girl with blades’. As she became older she was known as the queen of the underground b/c of her 2 mismatched eyes

THIS IS NOT TOKYO GHOUL. 

(was only like that in her underground days) and of her record of murders. 

Why would the Survey Corps let a psychopathic murderer onto their team?  The answer is: They wouldn’t.

At the age of 15 she met levi  and farlan. 

Use capital letters, dang it. It’s *Levi and *Farlan.

They became close friends after awhile and she soon became close to isabel when she joined.

Please tell me it’s almost over. 

 A year later ahkira left to join the survey corps. It wasnt easy, levi was hurt and pretty upset that she wanted to leave, after arguing and having a fist fight which was a draw he let her go. 

Why... would Levi care?

She ran into erwin who was on a search looking for her, with out any resistance she willingly went with them to the survey corps, 2-3 years later she went up in ranks to lieutenant. Her whole personality changed back to the way it used to be when she was little and her right eye turned back to the original color.

This... Do your research for the AoT fandom. Do you even watch the anime? Read the Manga? Titans don’t have long hair, Heterochromia isn’t a thing in AoT. Just... No.  I have nothing left to say.

~Kat

[allskynostars]

I want an answer to all the questions 😁

Gee, thanks T ;) 

1. What is you middle name?

Lee. It’s my Dads middle name, and my brother and I have my Mum’s surname seeing as they were never married (now separated) so she gave us our Dads middle name as our own. So me my brother and my Dad all have the same middle name. Oh and and my oldest brother (different Dad) has Lee hyphenated into his first name so there ya go hahah.  

2. How old are you?

23, 24 in 5 weeks :) 

3. When is your birthday?

August 20th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Leo (it fits)

5. What is your favorite color?

Purple

6. What’s your lucky number?

My favourite number is 2, so therefore my lucky number is 22.

7. Do you have any pets?

There is a cat at the flat I’m currently living in, he’s the fattest ever and his name is Zinny. 

8. Where are you from?

Born in London. Moved to NZ when I was 6 months old. So legally British, but I am a Kiwi. 9. How tall are you?

I honestly don’t know but I’m tall. 5′9 maybe?

10. What shoe size are you?

In NZ I’m a 9 or a 10. I think it’s 8 UK, 42 US? I have big feet okay haha. 

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

At the moment only like 4 cause I just moved country and gave a lot away. 

12. What was your last dream about?

I wish I could remember :(

13. What talents do you have?

I can rap? Haha like don’t get me wrong I can’t freestyle but if I hear a song enough I get pretty good. But that probably ties in with my ability to just know the words to nearly every fucking song. My boyfriend always plays this game where he’ll start singing a song and then I have to sing the whole thing haha. 

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I mean I say I am all the time but it’s not serious. 

15. Favorite song?

This is so hard to answer. I have so many. it depends on my mood haha. 16. Favorite movie?

I am a movie buff. I cannot simply pick one. Although one film I could watch at any time is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Oh and Shutter Island. Mark Ruffalo & Leo Dicaprio are my faves. Breakfast Club? Only Lovers Left Alive. I can’t pick. 

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Seth Cohen.

18. Do you want children?

I do, but there are days I wonder if I actually do, you know?

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Nooo.

 20. Are you religious?

Noooo.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Plenty of times, haha. 

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

I can’t say I have, no

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Yes! Quite a few if I can boast haha. Aidan Turner, Dean O’Gorman, Karen Gillan, Jamie Campbell Bower, Marl Ruffalo, Aaron Taylor Johnson, Jeremy Renner, Chris Hemsworth, Robert Downey Jr, Andrew Scott, Jenna Coleman. That’s all I can recall right now haha. I have photographic evidence of all except RDJ :( 

24. Baths or showers?

It depends! 

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Black :) 

26. Have you ever been famous?

Haha no. 

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

I don’t think so, to be honest.

28. What type of music do you like?

A broad range. A lot is like indie/pop, and I really do listen to a lot of rnb/rap which always surprises people. 

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

God no haha. If I had the balls. 

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

1 since we moved here but ideally 2. 

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my side. 

32. How big is your house?

Not very. It’s converted (typical London) so it’s basically fit anything where you can haha. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I don’t eat it normally, but if I do it’s cereal or toast. Also love pancakes. 

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

Nope. 

35. Have you ever tried archery?

At a school camp, once. 

36. Favorite clean word?

Clean word? LIke non swear word? Lovely. 

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck. Classic.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Like 36 hours or so but I don’t do well on no sleep. 

39. Do you have any scars?

Just little cuts and things, nothing major. 

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

No, had a stalker once. 

41. Are you a good liar?

Kind of. 

42. Are you a good judge of character?

I believe so. 

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

Not at all I am terrible at accents haha.

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’m told not really, not compared to others. It’s probably because my family were English so it’s buffered.

45. What is your favorite accent?

Irish. 

46. What is your personality type?

INFP-T 

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

Nothing I own is expensive haha.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yes.

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Innie!

50. Left or right handed?

Right :)

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Yes, any creepy crawlies ew. 

52. Favorite food?

Mexican!

53. Favorite foreign food?

^^^

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

Messy but hates mess. 

55. Most used phrased?

Oh my god.

56. Most used word?

Probably a swear word.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Depends on whether it’s just going out or like going out out. Anywhere from 10 mins to an hour. 

58. Do you have much of an ego?

I don’t think so no.

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Often haha. 

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Very often haha.

62. Are you a good singer?

I’ve been told I’m actually not that bad a few times haha so thats something I guess. 

63. Biggest Fear?

Whales. 

64. Are you a gossip?

Sometimes… hahah.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

What kind of dramatic? Prisoners was so good and that sprung to mind. 

66. Do you like long or short hair?

My hair? Looooog. I cut it short 2 years ago and regretted it so much. On others? Unphased. Love a good man bun but don’t we all..

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

I doubt it haha. 

68. Favorite school subject?

Biology.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert mainly, extrovert tendencies. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No, terrified of the ocean. Which is annoying because it’s beautiful but ugh.

71. What makes you nervous?

Lots, especially having so speak to people I don’t know, about jobs etc.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Love the dark.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

My boyfriend all the time,because he’ll still love me, but not normally anyone else haha. 

74. Are you ticklish?

No.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

No.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

In my previous management jobs, yeah.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

A lot.

78. Have you ever done drugs?

A couple times..

79. Who was your first real crush?

Non celeb? When I was like 12 I was obsessed with a guy my cousin has been with for 3 years and owns a house with haha. 

80. How many piercings do you have?

Nose & ears.

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

No?

82. How fast can you type?

If I get going quite fast. Dunno actual speed.

83. How fast can you run?

Not very anymore haha.

84. What color is your hair?

Naturally dark brown. Dyed darker but not black.

85. What color is your eyes?

Blue.

86. What are you allergic to?

Nothing I know of.

87. Do you keep a journal?

I want too!

88. What do your parents do?

Mum Retail, Dad Accounting to put it simply cause I don’t actually know.

89. Do you like your age?

23 has been good to me.

90. What makes you angry?

Inequality.

91. Do you like your own name?

I don’t hate it, but it’s boring.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

I have a few.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

If I could pick, 2 boys 1 girl.

94. What are you strengths?

I’m fiercely loyal.

95. What are your weaknesses?

Also stubborn, is that a weakness? V shy.

96. How did you get your name?

My Nans name was Jennifer, my Mum wanted to name me after her but not completely so therefore; Jenna. Also my family has a history of J’s. My Nan, Mum, oldest brither and 2 cousins are J names. 

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

I wish haha.

98. Do you have any scars?

Answered.

99. Color of your bedspread?

Pretty patterned pink/blue.

100. Color of your room?

These walls are like a light yellow but I did not chose it haha. 

That took way too long god I am boring.

[humanofcolor]

Tasmanian Singer-Songwriter Asta on Riding The Wave, Discovering Oneself and Knowing What You Want

HFTC: It must seem like everyone in the last year and near future has and will define you as the winner of Triple J Unearthed High 2012. [A major music competition in Australia] I'm sure this was a pivotal moment for you. This win opened you to up to a broader audience; it's most likely the reason someone in another country remixed your track, "My Heart is On Fire" and then the reason I heard that edit on the other side of the world and wrote about it.

But I read that you began performing at a very early age. Have you always had a strong sense of self? Was music the way you always defined yourself, or rather a hobby that grew to become something more?

Asta: Music really grew with me - was always in my body and hard to get rid of. It started with songwriting, then picking up the guitar. I can't see myself being any where else but on a stage.

Was it the positive feedback you received from friends, family or audiences that motivated you? And/or was it something that you always felt, not only you wanted to do, but that you were also good at?

It really started with myself, and I guess then my parents picked up on it and gave me the confidence to go out busking on the street. All I remember as a kid really, was playing in the music room, listening to the Veronicas on the CD player on repeat and singing my little heart out. I always felt I was half decent at music and for that I kept going with it. Dancing was another aspect of it. I would usually be front row centre and I think it was then that I realized I have substance and should keep on pursuing the things I love knowing I am getting awards and recognition, but I always had a dream, and to be honest it is coming more true every day. It's an amazing feeling to know that you are walking down the right path.

I personally believe it's especially difficult to move creativity from a passion into a career whether you're an artist or a musician. Before your big win, how did you keep up your motivation? Were there moments in which you struggled to believe that your life could take you where you are now?

It was absolutely crazy. My days were going so fast and yes it was so stressful, but I knew that there would be many rewards to come. I really just took it as a massive step, a great starting point to now being "in" the industry, rather that running around the outside trying to find a way in. So I am so thankful to Triple J for making many dreams come true. I am a very positive person so I don't think there has been a point where I have lost motivation. I think if there was, it would have to be due to stress and too much going on.

So if you hadn't won, do you think you would still be doing the same thing? I know it's irrelevant to pretend something didn't happen, but I guess what I'm trying to get at is... would you be still be creating music if it weren't for this relatively early success in your life?

I would definitely keep at it but I may have gone to university to study, but that is still an option for me to do in the future. You just have to ride the wave.

I agree..at the point I realized you just have to align yourself with the flow, life became much more simple and rewarding! So where do you think your positivity comes from? And your inspiration as a musician?

It starts within myself which is quite superficial some might say, but once I am happy with myself I can give happiness to others. So being surrounded by my beautiful family and having an inner drive within me gets me up in the morning. Living a healthy lifestyle and being grateful every single day about where you have come from and where you are now, knowing you have parents that are so supportive and being in love is always a plus. It is so wonderful to have this ongoing flow of people come into my life daily with positive comments about my music. So I have to thank the fans for pushing me along. It feels like we are growing together and the fans that I have now will always be by my side.

I think that's quite the opposite of being superficial. It's admirable. You just recently released the track "I Need Answers" off your upcoming debut album. After hearing the song and watching your video, which is gorgeous and celestial by the way, I felt that your voice and music has a quality to it that transcends generational boundaries...it feels like it's from the past and also from the future. Is this intentional? Or an organic reflection of your personality? Or just my opinion? (haha)

Wow that's a really beautiful way of looking at it. I like to grab inspiration from the 80's and 90's but also the future. That goes with my fashion sense also, I never like to waste money on things that are in at the moment as I see the bigger picture and know they will go out. I like to be innovative and cut and change things up and I guess you could say I am hardly living in the present, rather looking back and forth and hopefully one day I will slow down and find myself in the middle.

Do you think creativity transcends mediums? That if you can tap into ingenuity as muscian, you were able to easily apply that same creative process to fashion, your visual aesthetic and your life in general?

I have discovered myself so much in the last year than ever before. And I believe that it has a lot to do with the music and the way I now need to project myself to the public and try and form some kind of cohesive style that will weave all the way through. I am [happier] than ever and I think it's because I have learned so much more about myself as a whole. Music can change things definitely for the better, and when performing it on stage, I honestly feel like I am traveling so fast with adrenaline and people's energy and it really is a higher experience - better than drugs.

I've read, somewhere on the vast internet, that even by just looking at art we love, we release the same chemicals in our brain as when we're engaged in something physically rewarding, so maybe what you're experiencing is exactly what you think it is! I also read that your new single is about "wanting answers from men and life in general but also describing a new door and a new path and being ready for something new: leaving it all behind to start something fresh." Is this a reflection of your life right now?

Yes definitely. It really feels like the beginning now because I have grabbed [a hold] of things I like and politely let other things go. The foundations are laid now and it's really just getting out there and working with people who share the same values [and] outlook as me. I have done so much up until this point, so really I am eager to work with producers and other musicians and just explore what the world has to offer.

What are your dreams for your future — both in your musical career and life? Any other 'extracurricular activity' you want to get involved in that people would be surprised by?

I really just want to make music for the rest of my life and bring my music to the masses giving it my all as if there is no tomorrow. I want to build a studio, have a garden and a house and later have babies and be surrounded by beautiful people. I am a woman who enjoys the simple things, but I know what I want, and for some people that is all they want. So I am lucky to, like I said before, be walking down a path where I am satisfied each step of the way.

Find Asta on Facebook and find Here For The Color on Tumblr.

[rockerrick-555p]

Humble beginnings..

{So in light of his anniversary I have pulled together Rocker’s first thread ever with @sigmarickandmorty.. I remember being so freaking nervous and asking so many questions, having never roleplayed before..}

{I remember Sigmun asking “do you want to write the starter or should I?” and my response of “I don’t even know what that means” haha }

{But I figured it out with their help and the Rocker you know and love today is the result. But it all started way back then with Sigma’s mun asking if I’d like to do a thread..}

{Put it below a cut to not crowd the dash, but fair warning. Something happened rather quickly in the community and this scene wasn’t finished so it just abruptly stops.. but I still had to post it anyway.. Enjoy!}

“S-so Morty, what did you think?” Rick was asking as he led Morty backstage. “Y-y-y-… D-didn’t know Grandpa could rock, huh?”

Morty was in awe, looking around them at all the aliens and groupies that were begging for a chance to see the rocker version of his grandfather. “I-it was amazing! You used to do that?”

“Sure did, Morty,” Rick answered, grinning. He nodded to the security guard who stepped aside for them without a second glance. They were used to other Ricks visiting, it seemed. “Hey heeeey, me!” Rick cried as he entered the greenroom. “Great show tonight.”

------

RockerRick groaned inwardly when he saw the other Rick approach ~guess these guys are just going to keep coming out of the woodwork now~  He eyed the kid at the old man’s heels, gleefully looking up at him and back at the old Rick like it was fucking Christmas, that was new.

“I-It’s always a good show.” he coolly replied, handing a fan back her autograph book and turning to face himself. “W-who’s this? Y-Your protege or some shit?”

------

“You wish,” Rick snorted, putting a hand between Morty’s shoulders and ushering him forward. “Actually, this is your grandson.” The groupie who’d been in line to get her autograph next gave Morty a strange look. The line dissipated soon after. Well at least they’d get to talk alone now.

Morty’s eyes were wide as he looked up at the other Rick. Most Ricks at least looked like his grandfather with the lab coat and hairstyle. There were a few variants, but never anything this excessive. “U-uh… Hi,” he murmured, rubbing his arm.

--------

RockerRick looked around the old man to watch his disciples fleeing from the room. He gave one a threatening look when he turned back before leaving, he was furiously typing on a cellphone. Fucking great, this would be tomorrow’s headline. He glared at the other Rick ~Thanks a lot asshole~ “No, no, no… backup. Grandson means kid first. I don’t think so biiiitch … y-you’re Grandson maybe.”

He looked back at the teenager, patting himself down trying to find his smokes. As far as he was concerned he was just another groupie. A stagehand anticipated his need and came over to pass him a cigarette, then held up a lighter for him to spark it. He puffed it to life, letting the smoke out through his nose. He ran a well practiced hand through his long hair before he spoke to the kid ”So y-you, you got a name or something?”

--------

Morty was chewing on his lower lip when Rick addressed him. “M-Morty!” he cried. “M-my mom is Beth, a-a-and I have a sister, too.” So this version of Rick didn’t have kids yet? That was definitely different.

Rick rolled his eyes. “Y-yeah, genius, grandkids means kids first. Y-you bang that drummer chick from Muskeegan a-a-and get her pregnant. So watch out for that. At least, that’s how it happened in my universe,” he added, shrugging.

Making a mental note to cancel that show in two weeks with Muskeegan he stared at Morty. The kid was adorably anxious in his presence. RockerRick never imagined himself with kids. Granted he still hardly believe he would ever give up his posh rockstar lifestyle for a labcoat either. He decided he’d indulge the kid and show him just how cool his grandfather was..or could be.

------

He snapped his fingers summoning over another stage minion. “My guests and I-I are, are going to my penthouse for the after party. Have the car brought around.”

He swirled around and picked up his leather jacket “C-come alone then, let me show you how we do things here in 555p”

-------

Rick rolled his eyes at the theatrics. “F-fucking show off,” he grumbled but nodded for Morty to follow. Hell, if he could get some free booze and top-shelf drugs out of this then who was he to complain? Morty meanwhile was trying not to act star struck. This was still Rick, after all, but he was so cool compared to the other Ricks. Probably because he was so young.

Hurrying to keep up, Morty asked, “W-w-what’s it like then? I-I mean, if you don’t do science, i-is it just music?”

---------

RockerRick smirked as he lead the way out through the back of the concert hall ~that’s right kid, worship me like the rest~ “Of course I ‘do science’” he made quotations with his fingers before ashing his cigarette “Where do you think all this high tech sound equipment comes from? Best Buy?” He gave Morty a playful smile “Or this” he gestured at the sleek black custom painted car they were walking towards and pressed the button on his keys. The car beeped, purple neon  undercarriage flashing to life, before the tires rotated and the vehicle hovered in midair. He laughed at Morty’s reaction and opened the door for him to hop inside before meeting Rick’s unimpressed gaze. He leaned in close to whisper in his ear. “Don’t worry old man, there’s a liter of top shelf Transfloorkian whisky with your name on it.”

-----------

The pair got in, Rick giving Morty a ‘don’t be lame’ look and Morty shooting Rick a ‘why can’t you be this cool?’ look in return. With Rocker Rick in the middle, Morty pulled on his seatbelt, turning to face his grandpa’s past. “S-so you built all this stuff? That’s pretty cool. R-Rick just builds dangerous machines and subterranean lairs.”

Rick was busy raiding the mini bar, shooting his younger self a suspicious look as he pulled a few bottles out. “L-l-look, Morty, this may seem impressive b-but it’s not even science. I-i-it’s it’s engineering at best, a-and not even that impressive.” He took a swig from one of the bottles before continuing his tirade. “Y-you want me to build cars, I-I’ll do it but Morty lemme tell ya that shit gets o-urp-ld real fast.”

Morty crossed his arms over his chest, pouting as he leaned back in his seat. “Y-yeah Rick, whatever. I-I-I think it’s awesome though, that this that the younger you wasn’t so lame.”

“Oh he’s plenty lame,” Rick grumbled. “W-wouldn’t want to ruin the ride for you, though, Morty. Maybe kiss his ass a little more why don’tcha.”

--------

RockerRick flicked on the car’s sound system, his own music filling the air as they took off towards his place. He picked up a can of beer from the floor where Rick had disapprovingly discarded it and cracked it open, quickly slurping up the escaping foam before it could travel down the sides of the can. He gave it a final lick, tongue ring clinking against the metal, then passed it to Morty. “He’s j-j-just sour he had to, gave this all up when he knocked up your grandmother kid.” He snatched the bottle Rick was drinking from away from his lips and put it to his own, stretching an arm out along the backseat resting just over Morty’s head. “I’ve got a subterranean lair of sorts” he said fondly, a wicked glint in his eyes “But you’re too young for that”

--------

Rick bristled, reaching over his younger self to snatch the can of beer out of Morty’s grip. “L-look I know you don’t have grandkids yet but lemme just stop you right there a-a-and tell you to fuck right off. D-don’t look at your grandson that way.”

Morty looked between them, confused. What way? He pouted as he watched Rick down the whole beer. “H-hey, that…” He sighed, leaning back in his seat, realizing that Rick wasn’t going to let him have any fun. What was the point of coming here if Rick was just going to suddenly be responsible?

---------

The rocker raised an eyebrow and gave his old self a shit eating Sanchez grin “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, look at him how exactly?” voice heavy with sarcasm and innuendo. He laughed and added “Sheesh old man l-lighten up” RockerRick reached past Rick into the minibar and withdrew a wine cooler he stocked for the girls he sometimes brought home, it was lower alcohol content than the beer. He used his lighter to pop off the cap and handed it to Morty.

“Wh-what is, what’s the damn difference? Y-you’re no doubt plastered all the fucking time around the kid, not exactly setting a g-Uurrpp-ood,good example there. Let him live for once.” he ruffled the teenagers hair “Uncle RIck will look out for his virgin liver, don’t worry.”

--------

Uncle Rick was definitely a weird way to refer to himself, but Rick couldn’t fault him for not wanting to be called Grandpa. Morty didn’t even call him that, just Rick, and when Summer did it was always accompanied by ‘Rick.’ He quirked an eyebrow at Morty across the bench. The teen was eyeing the wine cooler and sniffing it apprehensively. When he glanced up and met Rick’s gaze the scientist sighed and nodded, Morty’s eyes lighting up. He sipped at the sweet drink, but immediately choked when it burned on the way down.

“Geez, Morty, chill. M-maybe I should have snuck you some stuff, d-don’t, don’t embarrass me by being a lightweight,” Rick groaned, leaning back in his seat with his remaining borrowed bottle.

-------

RockerRick smirked when Rick conceded to Morty having the drink ~Oh now this is going to get interesting~ he wondered how much he could sneak the kid without the old man losing his shit. He was a terrible influence after all.

When they pulled up to his building the standard post show crowd was surrounding the front doors. At least this ‘grandson’ business hadn’t traveled too fast. RockerRick scooped Morty up to swap places with him so he could be the first out of the car, and stepped out into the screams of his adoring fans. Coolly ignoring them in favor of lighting a smoke, he waited for Rick and morty to get out behind him.

“Holy shIT THERE’S TWO OF HIM!!” a chick shrieked and RockerRick laughed. He leaned in so Rick would be able to hear him over the yells “We could have some fun with th-them, that idea. Imagine what two Ricks would do to a girl?”

He put his arm around the old mans shoulder’s, raising his arms overhead hands folded in the classic rock and roll horns to get a rise out of the crowd then tugged Rick forward into the building with Morty at their heels.

-------

Rolling his eyes, Rick grumbled back, “Yeah, c-cause I just totally missed looking at my younger self naked.” As tempting as it sounded, he had Morty to think about and no one around to babysit the little shit. He wasn’t the most responsible grandfather but he wasn’t going to let Morty out of his sight in this place. Rick had lived this. He remembered what being a rocker was like. Although, he hadn’t had this much attention. Probably because back when he did it they never got very far.

Morty stumbled after Rick, trying to ignore the screams of the people around them. He felt lightheaded, this was all so surreal. “Rick!” he gasped once they’d gotten safely inside. “W-w-why didn’t you tell me about all this?”

Rick was screwing the cap back on his flask. “What, about groupies Morty? I-I-I think that’s something you can figure out on your own.”

-------

“They are what you get when you focus on music and not science kid” RockerRick said, placing a slender hand on top of Morty’s head to guide it too notice a hot redheaded goth girl who was staring right at the teenager.

He summoned over a lacky, pointed at the girl, who looked about to faint when the stagehand went to retrieve her. She stammered and tripped over her words unable to get much out to the rockstar besides “I’m you’re biggest fan”

RockerRick smiled his most devilish grin at the girl “Y-yes I’m quite sure you are. This is my nephew Morty by the way.” he gestured to Morty briefly before resuming his strut inside. The four of them got into the lift and started zipping up to the penthouse, loud pumping music and another crowd of cheers greeting them as the doors opened, though granted this group was much smaller. RockerRick’s only choice favorites got up here.

---------

Morty swallowed hard, trying to keep his gaze off the beautiful redhead. Her hair was shaved on one side, but it was the same shade as Jessica’s. He chanced a look at her before looking away again. Rick didn’t fail to notice this and began patting himself down for his portal gun. “S-so, pick of the litter, huh?” Rick droned to his twin. He followed the other out of the lift as he brought his portal gun out, adjusting the location.

“W-w-wait, Rick!” Morty cried, trying to grab the gun out of his hands. “W-we just got here, aren’t you always saying we should we we need to find places to relax once in a while, after our crazy adventures?”

“Mmhm… I have said that Morty. I said that when I wanted to go to the movies last month but your dumb ass was being lame a-a-a-and wanted to g-URP-o home instead so you could study or some shit,” Rick snapped, zapping a portal into the wall. “Sex, drugs and Rock n’ Roll is a bit too much for you right now.”

Morty groaned, then turned to Rocker Rick. “C-come on, Uncle Rick, you won’t let him send me home, will you?” he begged.

---------

RockerRick chuckled “Y-you’re, you are a walking oxymoron Rick.” He grabbed two bottles of a smoking purple liquid from a girl and offered one to the old man “Besides that won’t work in here. I’m still you, and we know full well our mind can prevent unwanted visitors… or departures.”  

RockerRick could tell Rick didn’t like the threatening nature of being trapped when he turned to the lift instead. “N-no no, come on man l-look relax would you? How much trouble can he really get in here? I’m sure it’s less than one of your adventures where he almost got killed or worse.” he held both bottles in one hand and reached out the other for Rick’s shoulder adding in an undertone “I’ll have one of my people keep an eye on him all right?”

---------

“F-forgive me if I don’t trust your people,” Rick hissed, narrowing his eyes. Dammit. He knew he’d forgotten something. So they couldn’t portal out, if they wanted to leave they’d have to physically leave the building. He glanced at Morty who was awkwardly trying to flirt with the red headed girl that had been brought with them. “I guess I really don’t have a choice in this, huh?” he grumbled, taking both bottles from Rocker Rick.

He downed one, then the other, a feat that was met with cheers from the crowd. Bemused, he tossed the bottles over his shoulder, not caring where they landed. “G-gotta keep up, kiddo,” he teased, making his way to the bar. If he couldn’t leave just yet, at least he’d have some fun.

--------

“Th-that’s what I’m talking about biiitttch!” RockerRick yelled over the music “Shots all around !!” which earned more applause from the gathering. he was actually looking forward to getting shitfaced with himself. He winked at Morty “Have fun kid, I-I’ll catch, catch b-Uurrp-ack up with you later” and he watched the redhead drag Morty over to wear people were dancing.

He scanned the crowd and found the woman he was looking for sulking in a corner furiously typing away on a laptop and sauntered over to her.

Her brow creased further when she saw him “What the hell are you thinking bringing another version of yourself and a ‘grandson’ back here ? Do you have any idea how much work its going to be to keep this quiet?”

“Psh y-you love it Sasha.” he paused as a waitress came by with shots. RockerRick grabbed two downing them both. Sasha refused “You know I don’t indulge in your bad habits Rick”

“Exactly why I came over here, l-look I want you to keep an eye on the kid okay? L-let him have fun, but don’t let him get his hands on anything too strong” he reached into his back packet and passed her some condoms “I highly doubt the anxious little guy will get this far but slip him them if hell has frozen over” RockerRick got up and sauntered over to meet Rick at the bar before she could protest.

Still she shouted at his back “I’m not a babysitter Rick” but she moved her seat to better watch Morty on the couch he had moved to all the same.

RockerRick shrugged when Rick gave him a questioning look when he rejoined him “Now about that  Transfloorkian whisky”

----------

Rick already had a glass of blue green liquid in his hands, swirling it as Rocker Rick approached. “Gimme a minute,” he murmured, staring down the liquid a moment before downing it. “Or a se-urp-cond. Hand it over, I don’t even n-need I don’t need a fuckin’ glass, kid.” Reaching a hand toward his younger self he made a grabbing motion, giving him a serious look. “D-don’t skimp on me now, that’s some good shit you’re teasing me with.”

Maybe he was getting old, but those few drinks he’d had (on top of the alcohol he’d consumed during the show) were starting to get to him the tiniest bit.

--------

A wide crooked grin spread across RockerRicks face. Oh this was delicious, someone who could keep up with him for once. ~some hot as fuck~ he added to his thoughts. He was so full of himself after all.

He passed the bottle over after taking a long swig and watched in amazement as the other Rick downed three quarters of his expensive shit. “Shhiitt dawg y-you, you’ve.. I’m impressed! Grandpa can paaarrtyy!”

They made their way thru the two other bottles of the whiskey the rocker owned as the crowd started to thin. The pair of Ricks stumbled over to a sofa having switched to bottles of beer. RockerRick pulled out his pipe, sparking it and leaning back to rest his long legs up on the table. He kicked off his boots then settled in close to Rick, leaning up against him slightly, testing. He passed the other man the pipe and gestured to Morty “l-looks, looks like your boy is having fu-Uurrp-n, fun for a change”

The teenagers eyes were heavily lidded and he swayed in his seat slightly. The redhead had slung her arms around his neck, but the kid looked like he didn’t know what to do next.

--------

t had gotten to the point in the evening where Rick was no longer giving a shit about anything. He was pleasantly drunk, the room swirling around him. And he had to admit that the more he drank the more attractive his younger self was looking. Yeah, he used to have a pretty good body. What had happened? Oh, yeah. Twenty years of boozing. When his eyes were directed toward Morty, he quirked an eyebrow.

Morty looked like he was trying to decide if he should kiss the girl he was sitting beside or grab at her. Either way he was too unstable, and he was just going to be sloppy. Sighing, Rick called out, “Morty!” Snapping his fingers until Morty looked up at him, Rick cocked his head toward Rocker Rick. “Watch and learn, kid.”

In one fluid movement, Rocker Rick was pulled into Rick’s lap.  He slid a hand up the other’s side, bare fingers touching the bare skin from his ripped tank top. Bringing his hand around to the small of his counterpart’s back, Rick wrenched him closer, bringing their lips together in a hot kiss. His other hand shifted down the other’s back and he paused to snap at Morty, directing his attention as he slipped it beneath the waistband of his jeans.

Even with the instruction Morty wasn’t sure he could have done all that. On top of the fact that he was too busy trying not to watch, turning away from his grandpa in embarrassment.

--------

RockerRicks head spun as he was turned around and yanked into the older man’s lap. He was used to making the first move, and was not used to being manhandled in such a way. He greedily took the offered kiss regardless, clutching his hands into Ricks hair to deepen it. When the kiss broke his chest was already heaving, and he was hard as a rock. ~fuck this guy can kiss! ~ when he felt the hand slide down his side and into his jeans a breathy moan escaped his lips.

“Oh fuck y-yeah.” he growled popping his body up slightly and swinging a leg over to properly straddle his older self. He cupped Ricks face, brushing his thumb ring along the others man cheek before tilting the other man’s face aside and diving for Rick’s neck. Bitting down hard where his neck met his shoulder he then set at sucking a large purple bruise onto the pale skin, while grinding his body into the other man’s lap. Releasing the suction with a pop the Rocker leaned his head back as the room spun. Amazed he had even noticed in his current state, his attention was drawn to a shaky “oh jeez” from Mortys direction.

--------

“Get over it, Morty,” Rick was grumbling, rubbing his hand lazily up and down the rocker’s sides. “One day all you’ll have left is yourself a-and then you’ll be grateful you can travel the multiverse.” Even still, he wasn’t one for voyeurism. Well… He was. He loved being watched. Just not by his own grandson. “Hey,” he murmured to his counterpart, pulling him down again. “Y-you think I can ship him home now? So we can have some time to ourselves,” he added with a suggestive purr.

------

RockerRick reached down and shifted himself in his pants. The tight skinny jeans worked wonders for his image but were quickly becoming too tight. His lips curled up into a mischievous smirk at the suggestion and he looked across the room at Morty.

The teenager had finally mustered up enough courage to kiss the girl it seemed and was quickly trying to catch up with his Grandfather, running his hands all over the girls back. The rock star didn’t have it in him to cock-block the poor kid, he wouldn’t think Uncle Rick was cool anymore if he allowed Rick to send the kid home just when he was nearing second base. Maintaining his reputation preceeded even his own lust, so he could wait a while to get the old man up to his bed for the sake of his image.

“naw l-let him have his fun, there’s nothing like you-Uurrp-re, you’re first groupie. We’ve already been there, done that.” he kissed himself again then added “Besides, w-waiting will only heighten things for later”

He stood running a hand through his hair and adjusted his clothes back into their proper positions. “I know how to keep us busy. Come with me, the good shit is in the back” he said with a wink like leading the way just out of the main room into a smaller one. He took the collaxion crystals out of a cupboard and set to grinding them up for them both. After taking their hits he slammed Rick back against the wall capturing him back into a rough kiss. It seemed he couldn’t help himself now that he was high as fuck. He was just about to suggest they did send the kid home when Mortys voice cut thru the penthouse “HEY-HEY WHAT’S Y-YOUR PROBLEM MAN? ”

-----

Even though Rick was still coming down from the line of K-Lax they’d just done, Morty’s shrill voice cut through the haze. “Morty?” he murmured, removing Rocker Rick from himself and hurrying out into the other room.

Morty was on the couch, obviously having been pushed over by the larger man standing over him with his arm around the young redhead. “W-what’s goin on out here, man?” Rick asked, quirking his brow at the stranger and crossing his arms over his chest.

“R-Rick, h-h-he said I stole his girlfriend! I-I-I didn’t know!” Morty insisted, eyes wide.

-----

But the redhead was struggling to get her arm out of the guys arm “EX girlfriend Morty! EX” She started pushing against him with her foot trying to pull free of him “I Dumped his ass 6 months ago, or at least I tried to…”

RockerRick has heard enough. Quick as lightning thanks to the lingering k-lax in his system he jumped up and towards the shitbag bringing his fist down crunching into the tool’s face. The jerk stumbled backward. finally releasing the girl who ran to duck behind Morty. The bastards nose started to bleed and clenched his fits glaring back at the Rock star.

“W-who the FUCK you shitbag? and how did you get up here ??” RockerRick was furious. His sanctuary had been invaded, violated but this dickanus. He had been throughly blue-balled and the bastard had messed with Morty. Who, RockerRIck was surprised to realize, he felt the need to protect. He ran at the fuckwad again, pure blind fury at this point thanks to the drugs and the booze.

Everyone who remained in the room started chanting FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

------

Morty held onto the girl, mustering up his courage and standing in front of her in case the guy managed to get past Rocker Rick. Sighing, Rick ran a hand through his hair. “Dammit… I always used to do things the h-urp-ard way,” he grumbled, pulling out a small device from inside his lab coat. Walking over to his younger self, he put a gentle hand on his shoulder before yanking him back behind himself. “I got this, stop making a scene,” he sighed.

The man had just gotten his bearings and had started to fight back, but paused when Rick stepped in. A harsh laugh cut through the chanting crowd. “What, is your dad gonna fight your battles for you now?!” he mocked, grinning as he spit some blood onto the floor. “Alright then, Gramps, sock it to me.”

Rick snickered, amused by the comment. “Hear that, baby?” he cooed to Rocker. “Th-this guy thinks I’m your daddy. I-I think I could get u-urp-sed to that.” The next few seconds were hard to figure out. Rick flicked his wrist, and suddenly the guy was on the floor, twitching. Turning to himself, Rick held up a little coin for him to see. “Sends an electrical pulse straight to the brain, temporarily shutting down body functions. A-a-although sometimes i-urpt just shuts the brain down, so, uh… Be careful.” He handed the coin over as the crowd began to dissipate.

--------

RockerRick closed his fist tightly around the coin in annoyance. Rick had just thoroughly embarrassed him in front of his flock. Nostrils flared he tried to calm his breath ~he also saved you a night in hospital and some broken bones, that guy is twice your size~ his rational mind pointed out. He sighed and summoned a member of his staff “Get everyone th-the, the fuck out, I’m done with them. Also find out how in the hell that shitbag got up here so I-I can fire someone.”

He turned to Rick and held up the coin examining it in the light “Th-that’s, this is going to be pretty handy thanks.. Daddy.” He added in a purr with a wink “I-I’m never, I’ll never have to switch to ‘science’ thanks to the gifts I-I keep getting from Ricks. I’ll be the first one of us to ride this Rock and Roll train to th-the end motherfuckerrss!” He ran his hand through his hair at the thought, all of his cool composure back in place. Snatching up a pack of smokes from the ground he light one and offered the pack to Rick before stooping down on one knee to meet Morty’s level. Grabbing the teen’s chin he turned his head left and right checking him over that he hadn’t gotten hit before the Ricks had intervened. “You alright kid?” He asked, his tone soft and concerned.

--------

At the comment, Rick frowned. That definitely wasn’t his intention. Then again, this was a different universe. Things weren’t going to be the same for this version of Rick anyway. He just wondered how the Council would deal with him when they realized he wouldn’t ever get a Morty.

His own Morty swallowed, tenderly reaching up to dab at his swollen cheek. “I-I-I’m fine,” he murmured, pulling away from Rick. “J-just a bit of a bump.” He glanced at his Rick who, knowing that look, nodded in response.

“I hate to cut the party short, but I think it’s about time I got Morty home,” Rick stated, stepping up beside the boy. “Don’t worry, I-I’ve got some stuff in the lab that’ll fix him right up. Won’t even bruise.”

--------

RockerRick rubbed his neck as he stood up. Still staring down at Morty as his mind argued with itself. If getting to hang out with a tough kid in his old age was an inevitably, well maybe he could deal with that after all.

He shook himself out of his gushy thoughts and turned to Rick “y-yeah, yeah” he cleared his through to steady his voice when it betrayed his thoughts “r-right, right sure, good.” He ruffled the teenagers hair “s-sorry things got a bit out of hand kid, but y-you’re, you can handle your shit.”

Offering a fist bump to the older version of himself he laughed “Y-you are, you’re alright s512. Still an old shitbag though. Y-you, you know where to find me if you’re ever lusting for your old cooler life.”

------

Morty blinked at the touch but smiled, getting up. “Y-yeah, it was nice to meet you.”

“Don’t go soft on me now,” Rick grumbled to both of them before returning the fist bump. “You know I’ll be back. Gonna have to finish what we started someday,” he added, winking. Morty looked confused for a moment but didn’t have time to question it as Rick grabbed his arm, leading him to the lift. “Say goodbye to Uncle Rick,” he teased, nudging Morty as he got his portal gun out.

“A-ah! Good-bye Uncle Rick!” Morty cried, waving as the elevator doors closed.

There was a long while of silence in the building. Everyone had been escorted out and the bodyguards were downstairs trying to figure out who let in the guy who’d caused trouble. But a minute or two later the elevator dinged again, Rick stepping out alone. “Hey hey, guess who’s back.”

-------

RockerRick felt suffocated by the silence when the lift doors closed and flipped his stereo back on before yanking his tank over his head. He grabbed someone’s discarded beer from a table and downed it. It had been a strange night, he vaguely wondered if Ricks would start showing up with Mortys all the time now.

Suddenly aware he needed to piss with all the commotion now gone, he padded to the bathroom undoing his belt and dropping his pants as he walked. He stepped out of them leaving them where they landed, grateful to be free of clothing finally.

He had just settled his long lean naked frame across a sofa when he heard the elevator ding, a devilish grin speaking across his face when he saw Rick walk out of it. His hand snapped right to his manhood, pumping it back to life. “Sanchez y-you, you sexy fuck, get my sweet ass over here”

-------

“W-woah, that didn’t take long,” Rick snorted, quirking his brow. “Don’t get t-too, too worked up now,” he added as he sat the younger him up and say beside him. “We need to talk. And it’s pretty serious so maybe-m-maybe get some pants on until we’re done,” Rick suggested.

-------

“Psh” RockerRick snorted “well wh-what, what did yo-Uuurp, you expect I-I would do the moment I was alone after y-you got me all worked up? ” grumbling as he got up and headed back towards the bathroom “do I-I need need a drink for this?” he called out, grabbing his purple silk robe and wrapping around himself.

--------

It wouldn’t hurt,” Rick admitted, sitting on the couch. “I-it’s about Morty.” He hesitated. “I-I really think you need to go through with having a kid. A-and you need to be a man about it. You need, n-need to help t-urp-ake care of that kid.”

--------

RockerRick put two scotch glasses down rather harder than intended on the bar at the statement. Not what he wanted to be talking about when he would rather be snagging. He raised an eyebrow as he poured the amber liquid “I-I’m assuming from, from your tone that you didn’t care for yours?”

----------

“None of us really did. But you’re one who could break the cycle,” Rick pointed out, frowning. “I-I-I’m not telling you what to do. I think you should decide on your own. B-but you’re gonna see more of us. And I-I want you to pay close attention to how happy they seem.”

----------

He passed Rick the scotch and sat down next to him. “I-I don’t understand, none of y-you chumps rode out this rock n roll life, but you still didn’t commit to the family deal? W-what, what the hell did you do that I’m suddenly expected not to may I-I ask? Dozens of Ricks in the finite curve and I have to be the one to break the cycle?”

---------

Rick stared down at his glass for a long moment. “It’s something you won’t have to worry about.” He took a drink from his glass. “We left to protect them. We went to war.”

----------

War was definitely less appealing than kids. But still he just didn’t see himself doing it. “I-I don’t know man, like marriage? Only one partner! who’s a woman!” he shuddered and continued “9-5 jobs? Three piece cages? Soccer practice and homework?” he emptied his glass and got up for more, deciding he needed the whole bottle and brought it back topping off Ricks glass “it all gives me the creeps man. Shhiitt”

--------

Y-you don’t know anything about what it’ll be like,” Rick murmured, taking another sip. “I didn’t give up rock and roll completely even after I got married. The war fucked it up.” He narrowed his eyes, leaning closer. “And it’s not the woman I want you to stick by. You’ll probably hate her as much as I did. What you need to do is take care of the da–… Of your kid.”

-------

The Rockstar sighed in relief “Good, because men are t-the, the better fuck. N-not, not that I’m saying I’m agreeing to t-this, this shit. But that would have been a complete deal breaker. I-I can handle knocking a chick up and like dropping in on the kid now and again, between tours or some shit.”

He leaned back sipping the scotch and threw his legs up on the table, trying to figure out where this night had taken such a nutso turn. This fuckfest was right up there with the first time he ever met another Rick.

--------

Rick was quiet for a while, sipping his drink. “We can talk more about this some other time,” he murmured, draining the glass. “Since I’m here, what do you want to talk about instead? Or do.”

---------

RockerRick eyed Rick suspiciously “I have the distinct feeling y-you’re keeping something from me Rick.”

He flipped on his massive TV and grabbed a pair of controllers tossing one at his older self, flicking through the option menus to start a supersmash brothers fight.

“But fine, keep y-your, your secrets old man.”

Taking Ricks glass he set them both on the table and refilled them “looser drinks both” he challenged settling back to choose his character.

“How many other Ricks do y-you, you know anyway? Do you try and get us all to settle down and fix your mistakes?”

--------

Rick flipped through the characters until he found who he wanted. Wario. He and Morty played the game quite a bit back home, or they used to until Morty complained about him winning too much. “Every other version of me is the same age, dipshit,” Rick pointed out, frowning. “You’re one of the few younger ones, and most of you are off limits by orders of the Council of Ricks.”

He shot the other a glance. He was tempted to lose on purpose so he’d get to drink both glasses. “So to answer your question, n-no. I don’t do this often. I-I-I’m giving you some free, some free advice kid. S-so take it.”

--------

“Oh fuck! ” RockerRick snapped after his Kirby got shot off screen for the third time, dammit Rick was good. He thought he’d have one up on the old timer with a video game, he should have known better really. It was himself after all.

He sat up putting his feet back on the floor and leaning on his knees to put forth more effort

“Th-that, that makes sense since the other three Rick’s I’ve met are geezers like you. I-I’ve never met a council Rick or any of their stooges. Wh-why off limits? What the fuck do they care about us?”

---------

“They don’t w-want us giving you advice,” Rick sighed, leaning forward to snatch the nearly empty bottle of liquor from the table. If the younger one got the glasses, at least he could polish off the bottle. “I-i-it’s up to you if you wanna join the council, but I d-don’t think it’s worth it, really. Th-they just like pushing people around, telling them what to do.” He couldn’t help remembering his last encounter with Riq-IV, frowning. “They’ll fuck you over, me… They’ll fuck you right up the ass.” He wasn’t being subtle but he doubted his younger self would recognize it.

--------

“It defeats the purpose of a drinking game if we b-Uuurrp-oth, both drink Rick.” RockerRIck teased getting up to go grab another bottle, and coming back with three. His robe fell open in his movements, he didn’t bother to fix it. He sat back down with it cascading behind him.

He refilled their bottles, grabbed a cigarette from the pack on the table and sparked it “Military kink eh Rick?” he laughed at his own joke more enthusiastically than warranted since he was trashed. “I-I’ve, I’ve been fucked b-by a couple Rick’s myself. Seems we can’t keep our hands off ourselves.” He was nothing if not blunt, and incredibly sexualy orientated. “I’ve been told though they don’t give everyone such a choice, some Rick’s are just claimed”

--------

Snorting, Rick shook his head. “Nope… Sometimes you just don’t get a choice. I-I-I still don’t get why some other Ricks see me as an automatic bottom.” He shot Rocker a suggestive look. “I-I’m not by the way. I-I mean I’ll take it like a cha-a-a-mp, but, uh…” He reached over, sliding a hand up the other’s thigh. “I dunno i-if you noticed, but I’ve got some skills to share…”

-------

RockerRick jumped slightly at the contact ~so we are back here again~ he thought, the previous anticipation reigniting within him instantly “Naw, y-you are, you’re a tease Rick, th-that’s what you are.” he dragged on his smoke shifting on the couch to face Rick. He slid a leg behind him positioning the other man between his legs. “Sh-show, show me these skills of y-yours and see if y-you can’t make up for leaving me hanging earlier and then, maybe, if you’re as good as you say you are, you’ll get to top for once.”

who was he kidding? He was going to let this Rick fuck his brains out since the second the foxy grandpa had first kissed him.

--------

“Y-you think you’re funny, huh kid?” Rick murmured, easily sliding the younger man into his lap. He shifted, pushing him so he was straddling Rick’s hips. “But i-if you don’t hush up th-that pretty mouth you won’t be getting anything out of me.”

--------

RockerRick mimed a zipper crossing his lips before licking them and waited, he was essentially naked, already halfway to a full hard-on and wanted to be taken. This Rick had already played the dominance card and he wanted him to run with it. He was bored of always being alpha.

But he was also impatient, and Rick had entirely too many clothes on. He rushed his face forward into a sloppy drunken kiss, running his hands up under Rick’s lap coat trying to coax it off his shoulders.

--------

Hours and several more bottles of beer later, Rick was suddenly sitting up, gasping for breath. He rubbed a hand through his head; it was pounding. He groaned, reaching for the flask he usually kept on the table beside his cot – and got a handful of his own hair. Peering an eye open, Rick took in the younger man’s form, the bed, the room. In seconds he remembered where he was, and moaned in agony, flopping back against the pillow. “Ffffffuck,” he sighed. No more fucking Ricks for him, this was the last one, he swore.

----------

RockerRick startled awake when he felt a hand in his hair “Still here sunshine? Rick’s usually disappear in the night” he rolled over, propping himself up on an elbow to look inquisitively at his bedmate and the curious expression on his face “Wh-what, whats with the face, regret not bottoming after all?”

----------

“Y-y-you guys push me too hard,” Rick grumbled, pulling a pillow over his face. “W-where’s my flask? N-need it,” he added, shifting to block out as much light and sound as he could. Only other Ricks knew what was in that flask. Years of boozing had screwed with Rick, and he’d come up with a solution that kept the headaches and light sensitivity at bay. Maybe he should have let himself stay sober for a few days to make sure there wasn’t any lasting damage, but he didn’t care.

----------

“Still in your sexy lab coat maybe?” RockerRick didn’t see it in his room “I-I think you left it downstairs. I-I’ll get it old man, gotta go take a piss anyway”

he got up out of the bed swaying slightly and found a cigarette before leaving the room. He got to the bottom of the stairs and looked around at the carnage left from the party, glad he paid people to clean up after him. It was odd knowing Rick was still upstairs. Oddly comforting. He was preferring the company of his selves over anyone else more and more. He grabbed a beer to chase away his hangover then found Rick’s coat still on the couch, shirt on the tv and pants on the stairs. He gathered them up and headed back into his room.

“H-hey, hey here” RockerRick tried to get Rick’s attention to give him the flask sitting down on the end of the bed with his beer. “How long are, when are you taking off?”

------

Relieved, Rick peered out from beneath the pillow, snatching the flask and taking a long pull from it. Within minutes he was feeling refreshed and sat up, rubbing at his hair. Great, it was starting to flatten out. “Mm… I dunno. I don’t have anywhere to be,” he admitted, shrugging. “U-u-unless you wanted me to get out of your hair,” he added, taking his pants and pulling them on.

------

RockerRick rubbed his neck, feeling awkward “I-I don’t, I mean if you’re tired of my ass then yeah you can split, but if you wanted to, I-I mean …” Damnit he sounded like a fucking idiot. He whacked himself in the face to focus “If y-you, you and Morty wanted try and build your argument for the whole kids thing sometime I-I, I could tag along I guess.”

------

Rick took another sip from his flask, not sure how to answer that. Seeing Beth would be a good way to convince him, sure, but at the same time he’d see how well Beth turned out without him. Beth’s drinking wasn’t apparent until people were gone. “… Y-y-you know what? Th-that’s not a half bad idea. Show you off to Su-URP-mmer, then m-maybe she’ll stop harping on me for f-for being lame.”

------

“Summer?” RockerRick said with his most flirtatious grin “W-who’s summer?”

He got up and starting rummaging through the clothes strewn about the room trying to put together his rocker best without resorting to stage clothes. He was somewhat excited, though he was sure it was going to be tediously domestic, he’d never gone anywhere with another Rick before.

------

“D-d-don’t even think about it,” Rick snapped, frowning at the other. “Sh-she’s your granddaughter. S-so don’t get any funny ideas.” He narrowed his eyes, pointing at the other firmly. “A-and you’re not her type anyway.”

------

“Old man I-I’m everyone’s type” he purred pulling on his boots “H-how many grandkids you got Rick? Jeez.” he fastened their many buckles, then slapped his dog collar around his neck. He put his arms out to his sides “W-what do you think? Am I non-lame enough for Summer?”

--------

Ignoring the other’s comment, Rick looked his counterpart up and down. “Y-yeah. You’ll do. C’mon,” he grunted, pulling his lab coat on as he headed for the lift. He held the doors open for the other man, pressing the button the moment he was inside. “N-n-now don’t make a –a sc-URP-ene, alright? I-I don’t want Beth knowing why you’re coming over. Th-that’s your daughter by the way,” he added.

--------

“I-I promise nothing. Beth, daughter. Morty and Summer Grandkids. Check. W-what are you going to tell her? Can’t be Uncle Rick in this situation I’m sure” He leaned back in the corner of the lift as it sank through the building lighting a cigarette. “Anyone else I need to know about?

-------

“Y-you just need to know about Jerry,” Rick answered, shrugging. “He’s Beth’s ex husband, he-he lives with them. I-I-I’ll introduce you as me, they-they now about o-URP-ther versions of me so it won’t be th-that confusing.”

-------

RockerRick zipped up his leather jacket as they stepped out into the street

“All right motherf-Uurrp-ucker lets do this !”

--------

The moment they were outside, Rick set a portal down against a tree. “Ladies first,” he teased, nodding to it. “Just kidding, I g-URP-et to go first.” Tucking the gun away in his jacket, he stepped through and into his lab.

------

RockerRick raised his eyebrows as he stepped through into the garage “Damn Rick y-your lab is in a garage? Jeez I-I was expecting a subterranean lair or some shit.”  He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets and wandered around.

“So this is pr-Uurrp-oper, proper science eh?” he teased peering in the window of the space ship “Looks like random garbage thrown together in a drunken stupor to me.”

Looking at all the crazy equipment on tables and shelves he picked several things up trying figuring out how they worked or what they did. “W-what the fuck is this thing?” he asked bending down to look through the bars of a cage.

--------

gnoring the ‘proper science’ jab, Rick leaned against his workbench, crossing his arms. “I-I-I wouldn’t touch that if I were you. H-he’s kinda contagious, I haven’t f-figured out how to cure h-his chronic acid vomit,” he advised.

As he was saying this the creature behind the bars, a purple furry lump with chunky arms and nothing else, opened a mouth on the top of its head and vomited. A tractor beam set in the top of the cage pulled most of the vomit out, but a small drop got between the bars and began eating its way through the concrete.

“D-dammit!” Rick snapped, throwing a bottle at it. Exploding, the liquid in the bottle foamed up and covered the hole. “D-don’t want Jerry getting on my ass about that,” he grumbled.

---------

Jumping back as the vile flung from the critter RockerRick checked his boots to ensure they were unscathed. “W-woah! Sweet, what a wild little dude.” He was impressed with the creature, thought it would make a fun pet.

“So wh-what, is this Jerry some sort of force to be reckoned with or some shit? Need a hand in taking him down a peg, show him who’s the boss?”

---------

Rick let out a barking laugh at the comment. “Jerry? N-no way, he just likes to think he is. H-h-he’ll bitch and moan about the garage, b-but seriously, he won’t do anything about it,” he admitted, snickering. “Force to be reckoned with… Y-you’re hilarious. Then again, you’ve never m-URP-et Jerry.”

----------

RockerRick continued his inspection of what he supposed was his future lab. The thought gave him a shudder. “So th-this is where you spend your time? Tinkering around in a garage ? This is some fucking boring shit old man, so far you’re not making a very strong argument for me to give up my life style…” He stopped ragging on Rick when he heard the door to the garage open and turned around.

“H-heyy, hey there he is! Wh-what’s up little-dude, how’s that hang-over treating you?”

-------

Morty paused in the garage doorway, not having been prepared for Ricker Rick. “Uh… H-hi,” he answered, waving uncertainly. “I’m… Fine.” He gave Rick a confused look, who shrugged in response. Morty determined he didn’t want to know what that meant. “A-are you staying here for a while, Uncle Rick?” he asked, eyes widening. “D-d-did you meet Summer and everyone yet?”

“Not yet, Morty,” Rick answered before his counterpart could. “W-we were getting to that, he was just checking out my lab.” He shot Rocker a glare. Ungrateful little bastard.

---------

RockeRick walked over and ruffled Morty’s hair  “Y-yeah, but it’s so booorning in here.” He teased slumping his body down dramatically.

“Oh! OH! Morty, I-I’ve got something for ya.” he shrieked popping back up and unzipping his jacket. Reaching into his inner pocket he mockingly tried to pull something out as if it was stuck, spinning around on the spot with the pretend effort. He laughed at his own craziness and handed a small black square to Morty. “It’s from the redhead! she left it with my people” RockerRick explained exuberantly “Jessie. Look push here” the screen came to life containing a slide show of her photos and on the last one coordinates “Seems you’ve made quite the impression little man” he nudged him in the side “If your Grandpa ever allows it you can find her with this”

-------

“J-J-J-Jessie?!” Morty repeated in disbelief. Even Rick looked impressed. So in another universe he was easily able to get with Jessica, just one night of making out and being a hero. “Woah… Th-thanks Uncle Rick!” he cried, looking at Rick over Rocker’s shoulder pleadingly.

“Y-yeah, Morty,” Rick sighed, nodding to the interdimensional phone in the corner. “J-just don’t use up all my minutes,” he added as the teen rushed over. “C’mon, time to meet everyone else,” Rick added to Rocker, shoving him playfully into the house. His tone completely changed when he noticed Beth sitting alone at the kitchen table, reading a magazine. “Hey sweetie!” he cried, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Beth, I want you to meet a friend of mine. Well, me.”

Confused, Beth looked up, eyes widening as she noticed the younger version of her father. “Beth, th-this is me, from a different dimension. Before you were born.” Rick paused, considering. “W-we haven’t come up with a good nickname to distinguish him, b-but Morty calls him Uncle Rick.”

Beth rose from the table, slowly walking over. “From… before I was born?” she repeated, suddenly holding a hand out to shake, then lowering it and raising her arms for a hug, then pulling them back into her chest, looking conflicted. “I-I’m Beth,” she settled on. “Your… Future daughter. I’m a horse surgeon,” she added, wincing a bit at the distinction.

Rick gave Rocker a threatening look over her shoulder, putting an arm around her for comfort. ‘Don’t you say anything to hurt my baby girl,’ he seemed to say.

---------

RockerRick knew how to read his own face, shooting back a quick ‘as if’ to his older self. He slid his most charming smirk into place as he offered Beth a fistbump “W-what-Uuurp, what’s good baby-doll? I’m your Dad back when he was cool. A Surgeon eh? Must have a big beautiful Sanchez brain under those gorgeous blonde locks.” Damn was he flirting with his own daughter? Hell  if he knew, he didn’t know how else to talk attractive people. His future offspring or not.

---------

Though Rick didn’t seem pleased with the specific nature of his counterpart’s statement, he nodded a little. Beth was completely taken in by her younger father’s charm. “Well, yes, actually. I put myself through veterinary school after having my daughter, Summer. So… What did you do before me, Dad?” Rick had been hoping he could avoid the ‘dad’ confusion, possibly because Rocker had a bit of a daddy kink, but he’d deal with that later.

---------

RockerRick threw his hands in the air “Woah, no, no. Rick. Call me Rick. Or RockGod, your choice. “ he added picking his smirk back up. He stepped back arms wide to allow her to take him in fully “I’m living the Rock and Roll life baby! Not a ca-Uurrp-re, care in the world, millions of adoring fans. Top of my fucking c-class.” He took a mock bow, flipping his long hair back as he stood back up, then running a hand through it. “Th-that is, that’s bananas republic to think of doing school and the parent gig at the same time.”

--------

Beth gave Rick a sly look. “Dad, you never told me you were a rock star.”

“You know, he’s ex-UaRP-ggerating a lot sweetie. L-like I barely had a few thousand fans,” Rick pointed out. To be fair, they came from different universes, and Rocker had been at it longer than Rick had. “A-although, I was a god among men. So. There’s th-there’s that.”

Looking back at the other she decided to address his comment. “Well, Rick, it definitely wasn’t easy, but I did have Jerry around to help.”

Rick rolled his eyes so hard Morty might have heard it. “Y-yeah. Real great work there. H-h-he did a bang-up job ‘helping’.”

--------

“Exaggerating! Psh you wish. Y-You never gave The Curtains a chance. If you had applied your genius to the band like I-I did, I have y-you would have had millions of fans across the universe.” he gave Rick a look that said I’m way better at being us, then laughed.

“Regar-Uurrp-dless of the number, I’m sure they worshiped your fine Sanchez ass the same way they do mine.”

He laughed again at the tone in Ricks voice as he talked about Jerry “Jeez this guy sounds like a real man among men.”

------

“Well, he’s uh… He’s my ex husband,” Beth admitted, rubbing her shoulder. “Dad doesn’t like it, but he’s still living with us.” Rick rolled his eyes. “He didn’t have anywhere to go, Dad, besides this is technically our house until I get the deed signed over in my name.”

Rick nodded. “Mmhm. And when is he gonna help you take care of that? He h-h-he hasn’t exactly been eager about it.”

Beth huffed, turning to Rocker. “We fight about this all the time… Jerry can’t help that he’s stupid.”

---------

RockerRick was out of his world, marriage and divorce foreign concepts in every sense.  “I-I will never understand why people tie themselves down like that, like fucking sheep falling in line because it’s what the other sheep do when it never works out and only ends in torment. T-the guy sounds pathetic. How tediously domestic of you to fight with her Rick. J-just craft something to take care of him, I’m sure y-you, you have some place in the universe you could dump the moron.”

--------

Daughter and father fell silent for a time, giving one another an awkward look. “It’s… Not that simple… The kids, they… They really do need their dad, as much as we’d like for him to leave.” Rick nodded a bit, though he didn’t look nearly as convinced.

“O-on top of which, Jerrys don’t last long off world. Th-they pretty much die as soon as they’re left alone,” Rick explained, shaking his head. “I-I-I don’t think the kids would like that.”

--------

[zolganif]

Did you ever regret skipping a class? I only skipped class once and I didn’t regret it 

How often do you make your bed? Every now and then 

What did you eat for breakfast today? I didn't eat breakfast 

Has your best friend ever lived with you? Colin has before 

How many of your friends have children? A few of them do 

If you could, would you change the color of your bedroom walls? To what color? It would be nice if they were purple 

At what age did you have your first major heartbreak? Early 20′s 

What’s the temperature outside? Very cold 

Ever been in a long distance relationship? Yes 

Do you keep　jewelry　or small items in cute little boxes? Yes 

What was the last reason your best friend pissed you off? I don't know. They hardly ever do 

How often do people ask for your advice? *shrugs*

Are you wearing pajamas? Yes 

Think of the person you have feelings for. Does their name begin with an A, J, D, R or N?

When was the last time you were TOO drunk? No idea 

When was the last time you stayed in your pajamas all day? Last weekend 

Why won’t you be sleeping in tomorrow? I have some things to do tomorrow 

Do you have class or work tomorrow? No 

What was the worst job　you’ve　had? Why was it so bad? Doing samples for Crossmark. -_-

Could you comfortably walk to the nearest　Walmart? I rather take a bus or have someone drive me there 

What color is the shirt you’re wearing? Black 

How many pairs of heels do you own? A few.

Do you wish you had naturally rosy cheeks? No 

What is one drug you have no interest in trying? All of them

What do you wanna be when you grow up? Mythical 

Is 30 old? No

Do you have a crush on anyone? No 

What’s the prettiest part of your body? I like my eyes 

What celebrity would you shag? What?

Have you shagged any celebrities? Haha no 

Do you think you’ll ever get married? I want to get married one day

What do you want your wedding song to be? I do have a list made out 

Who is the coolest person you know? I know quite a few people who are 

Whats the best class you ever took? Meh

Is there someone that you can’t stop thinking about that　doesn’t　know it? No 

What song is in your head right now? There isn't one.

Do you love your mom? Of course.

Do you love your dad? Of course 

Do you love your siblings? Yeah.

Do you get along better with men or women? It really doesn't matter.

Do you believe in ghosts? Yeah.

Have you ever thrown up on someone really hot? No 

Have you ever been to Mexico? No

Do you obsess over little things? Sometimes 

Do you have any tattoos? Yeah

Do you have any piercings? Yeah

Have you ever broken anyone’s heart? Not on purpose 

Has anyone ever broken your heart? Yeah. 

Do you refer to anyone as "the one that got away"? No, but in a similar sense yes. 

What’s your favorite word?: Angel 

Who would you kill if your morals would allow? I would just wish for karma to get back at them 

What’s your favorite restaurant? Apple Bees 

Favorite male vocalist? Tobias Sammet

Favorite female vocalist? Tarja Turunen 

Do you believe in soul mates? Yes I do.

Do you love yourself? Most of the time, I do.

Do you love your　friends? Yeah.

Who do you love the most in the whole wide world? Everyone close to me 

[theseventhhex]

Lydmor Interview

Lydmor

Photo by Anna Marin Schram

At times it can seem like Lydmor is everywhere at once - the Danish girl with bruised knees jumping onstage swinging the chord of the microphone like a whip while she sings as much of sex and drugs as emotions and faraway places. One moment she is standing on top of a bar in a venue in Sao Paolo singing her heart out while the beat is pumping over her sweaty dancing audience, the next she playfully coproduces a track with j-pop legend Takeshi Kobayashi, or composes a soundtrack for an animated fantasy series. In between her myriad of creative collaborations the young producer and singer has managed to tour most of the world several times, playing the biggest festivals and venues to at times in the homes and tiny living rooms of her biggest fans. The eccentric Scandinavian girl balances between light and dark or order and chaos. Lydmor is quite her own and since she returned from a mysterious stay in Shanghai in China she is now all set to release new music… The Seventh Hex talks to Lydmor about Latin American writers, creating cartoons and feeling alive onstage...

TSH: Talk us through how your travelling informed your current musical direction...

Lydmor: Well, I had a weird journey that I went on a while back. Basically, I was having a crisis in my life and I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know what was up or down, and everything felt super-confusing. I decided to travel to Shanghai alone and I lived there for half a year. Whilst I was there I experienced such crazy times with people within a techno club and the general environment out there. When I was out there I decided that I wanted to describe this world I was experiencing. I wanted to build a whole love story of mystery and magic all to do with what I experienced in Shanghai.

TSH: Did you come away feeling rejuvenated?

Lydmor: In some ways, yes. I wouldn’t say it was all positive because whilst I was there I did find it very hard. I was alone and it did get confusing at times, however, I felt like I grew so much as a person from my time spent there. I went there in a very uncertain frame of mind and came back with all I needed. I had all the answers for how I wanted to do things with my music and the artist I wanted to be.

TSH: What kind of features about Shanghai would you say made you feel most liberated?

Lydmor: I think what made me feel so alive about the place was the weirdness I encountered, as strange as that sounds. There are so many contrasts in Shanghai, it’s this big metropolis and you’re surrounded by capitalism, but you’re also in a communist country with a lot of censorship around. It was so cool to encounter people not only from all over Asia but all over the world. There were so many contrasting inhabitants and it felt like a Blade Runner mystery that you cannot solve! But yeah, it felt super liberating to be in a place that I couldn’t understand.

TSH: What sort aura and essence were you looking to capture with your latest single ‘Money Towers’?

Lydmor: I had a very specific direction in mind as I was making ‘Money Towers’ and it took me a long time to finish it. I think the latest version that I have on my computer before I sent it to mastering is probably version number 58. I had so many different versions of trying out various things, including different sounds and slight changes in melody. Overall, I just had a clear image in my mind; I wanted the song to feel a bit claustrophobic but also exciting and mysterious at the same time. I think because I wanted so many different things in the song, that’s probably why it took so long to finalise and get right.

TSH: Do you read a lot to help with your musical endeavours?

Lydmor: Yes! I’m impacted very much by literature. I read a lot. Lately I’ve been really affected by the magic surrealism of a lot of Latin American writers...

TSH: Including the excellent Jorge Luis Borges...

Lydmor: Oh, he’s amazing! I feel like he just has it all figured out, especially the way he’s delving in to our universe and aspects to do with time and space. I also really like Roberto Bolano and Julio Cortazar, I especially like the way they make stories where they are kind of implying things instead of saying them outright - they are just playing with what is real and what is not real. When I come across stuff like this, I feel like incorporating these sort of elements in my music.

TSH: Playing live certainly keeps you motivated and is very much your happy place...

Lydmor: Yes, totally! Being on stage is like having sex with a 100 people at the same time! It’s so intense and I love it! You not only get to be yourself, but you’re bigger and crazier. Also, in a practical sense of just hearing your music really loud, that is so cool, especially since I’m a volume junkie! I love interacting with the audience and having this unique bond with them, I’m addicted to it.

TSH: Speaking of playing live, you’re set to play Kuala Lumpur, Singapore and Bangkok in the coming weeks too…

Lydmor: I’m so looking forward to visiting all three of those places. I’ve actually toured Asia twice before and I have a quite small, but very loyal audience out there. My fans in Asia are so sweet and I love them so much! They actually know all of the words to my songs and they often meet me afterwards and say such lovely and encouraging things. Besides, I’m just so in love with the cities in Asia, they are so different to Europe, I think they are magical.

TSH: When you’re on tour, is your first port of call to find a spot to hang with the locals alongside a cup of coffee?

Lydmor: Definitely. I have to say even doing this is something you have to learn to do right. Some people do the whole tourist thing and attack a city, attempting to see and do so much, but that just brings you down. I mean it’s nice to see temples and big cool buildings, but if you really want to get the vibe of a place, it’s better to find a place where the locals hang out. You can just sit there with a book or a coffee and just allow the place to kind of sink into you.

TSH: Would you consider yourself a digital person?

Lydmor: Yes, I’m quite the digital girl! I find it very interesting what’s happening now with people becoming more and more overwhelmed and obsessed with their gadgets and technological environments. I’ve actually been reading about the cyborg manifest and post digitalism and what it’s doing to our minds. Nonetheless, I’m not very good at unplugging from modern day technology, haha!

TSH: I understand you created cartoons as a young girl. Do you recall what they were about?

Lydmor: Just weird fantasy stories, haha! I was really into the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. I must have been copying both in some way, ha!

TSH: Was quitting a job at a call centre to focus on music the best decision your ever made?

Lydmor: Totally! Of course financially I haven’t chosen the easiest route by entering the world of music, but my god, music gives so much back!

TSH: As you look ahead, what is your biggest drive?

Lydmor: My biggest drive is creating art for the future. The world is changing so fast now and so is art, therefore to be a part of this change makes me feel like I’m a part of something historical. Oh, and it gives me a tingling in my fingers to know that I can challenge myself to truly be the best artist I can be.

Lydmor - “Money Towers”

Money Towers - Single

[elisiyawritesfics]

Chapter 3; Nathan Drake & Victor Sullivan

Series: Path of Pyrite Fandom: Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune Word Count: 2141 Words

—

Kathryne wasn't quick enough to draw an arrow from her quiver the moment she had heard the gun cocking, but Tyler was quick enough to aim his crossbow and the gun holder. It was an elder man who was starting to grey and had a cigar in his mouth. "Easy there, old man, that's my little sister you're aiming at," Tyler spoke sternly.

"I'd lower the crossbow if I were you, son," the elder man suggested, even though he showed so sign of losing the gun. 

"After you drop the gun. 'Cause if you do anything else, chances are one of these arrows are going through your eye socket."

"Tyler," Kathryne intervened with a sigh before addressing the stranger. "Look, grandpa, We're not here to start anything. I just wanna take a peek in the U-Boat."

"Yeah, uh-huh," he didn't sound convinced in the slightest. "Why should I trust you?"

"I'm an archaeology student at Harvard University researching the legend and the location of the Golden Man," well, she wasn't lying. She was an archaeology student, just not yet. "I know for a fact you guys are looking for it, and I have no interest in taking it and selling it."

"How'd you know there's more than just me?"

Kathryne arched a brow. "Really? You wouldn't be out here waiting. Guess you can't do the whole climbing thing." That last part was more to herself than directly at the man. She then turned to Tyler, reaching out to make him lower his crossbow. "Wait out here, I'll check it out."

"But, Kath," Tyler started, but whatever she was about to say was shut down by the look she gave him. With a drawn out sigh, he nodded. "Fine," he looked back to the man. "Whoever's in there, tell them she's going in so they don't shoot her."

Sullivan gave him a look for a moment, but complied none the less. Once his walkie talkie was out, he held down the button to speak. "Heads up, Nate, someone's coming in. Don't shoot her."

"The hell, Sully?" there was a response immediately. "Who's coming in? More importantly, who are you letting come in?"

"An archaeologist. Just, don't shoot, her brother already threatened me for almost doing so."

Kathryne snickered, and Tyler just rolled his eyes. "Well, you guys can make up while I'm in there. Keep us posted, and try not to kill each other." With a salute, she turned and dove into the water. It was days like this where she was glad she learned how to swim. Unlike Rya. Swimming up to the U-Boat was easy, and once she had reached the structure, Kathryne took a deep breath and dove under. There was an opening in the rusted hull that was big enough for her to swim through. When she reemerged from the water, she surfaced onto the floor of the sub. There was a path that she followed up onto the upper level and into a broken up corridor. Each of the hatch doors had been opened and at the end of the hall, she could see a man standing in the captain's quarters. She made her way up, but she then stopped at a corpse by the last hatch door. Well, there's what smelled terrible. But it wasn't the corpse that caused her to stop. It was the gold coins that were scattered by him. Kathryne squatted down to pick one up. Spanish gold, definitely. But two things came up in her head; why did a German have a Spanish gold coin from centuries ago, and where is this coin from? It was stamped with a symbol she had never seen before. 

"I see you met my pal, Sticky Fingers, here." She heard a voice say.

Looking up as she stood, there was a man at the entrance of the captain's quarters. he had a similar appearance to Tyler; tall, a little built from what she could see, brown hair. The only difference was this man had blue eyes. She held up the coin. "Who has Spanish gold with a mint that I haven't seen before and a face that was torn to shreds. Yes, we got friendly with each other." 

The man shook his head. Sarcasm, he liked it. Mainly because that meant someone could take his shit. "So, you're the archaeologist, huh? Aren't you a little too young to be out here?" 

"Just 'cause I'm short doesn't make me that young."

"Did you get through your proseminar, yet?"

Kathryne made a face, and the man shook his head with a small chuckle. Well, this is awkward. "Okay, so what? I'm going in the fall."

"Aw, look, we have a baby on our hands. Still, it's impressive you made it this far," he held out his hand to her. "Nathan Drake. The old geezer outside is Victor Sullivan."

Since she was used to the baby jokes, Kathryne didn't even call him out on it. She took his hand and shook it. "Kathryne Catreel. I would ask if you had any relations to Francis Drake, but he had no kids."

"Touché, my friend. If that were true, I wouldn't be here towering over you. Besides, how would I have known where this baby was?" He held up a little red notebook, and Kathryne's green eyes widened. 

"Holy shit, is that—?"

"Drake's lost diary? You bet your ass it is."

"So that's why you're out here, to finish what he started." 

"Yeah, well, that. And, y'know, gold and glory. The good stuff." 

Emerald eyes rolled. "Guess I should have expected that," pushing loose strands of hair out of her face, Kathryne looked to the charted map behind them. "So, where to now?" 

Nathan held up his hand in front of her to stop her. "Woah, woah, woah, wait a second, doll face. We? You're not in on this." 

"Oh, you think I'm going to give up now. You're funny. I already told your pal that I'm not interested in taking and selling the thing, just finding it." 

"Y'know, I find that very hard to believe."

"You and the old guy outside have had so many things done wrong to you that make you both so untrusting, haven't you? Need me to swear on a Bible? A Catreel never breaks their word."

He narrowed his eyes at her, as if making a judgment on if he should tell her what he knew. One thing was true, and that was that so many things, so many people, turned on him and Sully that finding someone they could actually trust was a hard time. But, if he could admit, Nathan was impressed how far she had came with little to no information and a world full of false claims, since the only truth of El Dorado was in his hands, and off the coast of Panama for the last four centuries. And maybe, just maybe, a soon-to-be archaeologist (and anthropologist, since that's part of it at Harvard) is what they needed.

Nathan placed the diary in his palm laying down, then held it out to her. "We're short a Bible, this should do." 

Kathryne arched a brow once more. Was this his way of actually letting her and Tyler tag along? He actually is giving her the benefit of the doubt? Wait, she stopped mid-thought, he was probably only doing it so he could benefit from her in some way. Not that she cared about that, as long as she still found El Dorado. So, she placed her right hand on top of the diary, and held her left hand up. "I, Kathryne Elizabeth May Catreel, solemnly swear that I—"

"I swear to God, if you quote Harry Potter,"

"—will keep my word when I say my only interest in this hunt is to find the Golden Man, and nothing more. Y'know, I thought about it, but then you probably wouldn't take me seriously. Despite Prisoner of Azkaban was a great book and movie," she then lowered both her hands. "So, monsieur, what have you got so far?"

"French, huh? Y'know, you probably should have taken Latin in high school. It'll help so much more here," none the less, Nathan reached down to pick up a piece of paper with a map on it, the very one he had pulled off of the corpse of the captain. "Off the coast of Perú, there's an island that these guys were trying to find, from the looks of it. The best assumption is that there is where we'll find El Dorado."

"And the worst assumption?"

"We waste our time there and the trail goes cold." 

"Okay, lets just hope for the best." 

"One more question," Nathan started. 

"I possibly have an answer," Kathryne mused. 

"I see you got a bow and arrow and all here, but you can hold your own, right? I don't need to baby you, because babysitting is not in the j-"

Kathryne didn't let him finish because she grabbed him by the wrist and flipped him completely over her shoulder to where he landed on the ground back first. She quickly placed her foot on his chest as she drew an arrow from her quiver and pulled it back to aim at his throat. "Dollface, I grew up with two military buffs who taught me how to aim with this baby, two Asians who taught me what they know about martial arts, a drug dealer who taught me how to shoot, and a Latina who taught me how to manipulate with words," with a grin, Kathryne slowly released the bow and placed the arrow back in her quiver. Once her boot was off his chest, she held his hand out to him. "well, and a mom who taught me how to fence. You don't have to worry about me."

It was one thing to get Nathan Drake off guard, but completely knocking him over was a completely different thing. He wouldn't lie, he liked a strong woman. (Nate, buddy, don't go there.) "well, then, I guess this will be an interesting hunt," he said with a chuckle, then stood up with her help. 

"Hey, Nate," Sullivan's voice came through on the radio. "you still alive, or do I need to give you two a few more minutes to finish up?" 

At that, Kathryne couldn't help but laugh, and Nathan just rolled his eyes before holding down the button to respond. "Haha, very funny, Sully. I happen to have a little more class than you do. Anyways, get this," 

"Yeah?" This time, both Sullivan and Tyler's voice could be heard. 

Nathan held down the button, but let Kathryne do the talking, since she looked like she wanted to say it. Kathryne grinned. "We found out where the Spanish took El Dorado. The Germans were after it, too, and they just so happen to leave behind the map that'll lead us right to it."

"You're shitting me," Tyler sounded astonished. 

"Kids, this better not be a wild goose chase, or—" it suddenly cut off. 

"Or what?" Nathan asked as he held down the button, but there was no response. This caused him to furrow his brows. "Sully? You there?" He asked again, but no response. 

Kathryne leaned his hand down to press it down. "Tyler, what happened?" she asked, and that, too, was a question left unanswered.  

Suspicion lingered between the two as they exchanged a look. It didn't need to be said, Nathan just gestured Kathryne to follow him as he approached the hatch to the next corridor, pushing it open with a grunt. Following that was a loud metal clang and the sound of what was the mechanics of a machine starting up. "Oh, that can't be good." 

"Drake what did y—" the question didn't even need to be completed for her to get an answer, she saw the torpedo just as she had gotten partway through her words. "Son of a..." 

"We should probably get the hell out, like, now."

The two booked it, Nathan going first into the last opening and then Kathryne followed. Once past that corridor, they went down the ladder and into the lower level that Kathryne had originally came in through. While Nathan looked slightly panicked because it looked like there was no way out, Kathryne then took the lead here, diving into the water once more and swimming under, to which Nathan soon followed. 

Exiting through the breach in the hull, they swam out and towards the shore where they beached themselves onto the rocks. But they weren't alone. Standing before them was a man with gray, almost white, hair, and a younger looking man standing to his left who was armed with a rifle. 

"Hello," the man greeted Nathan as he extended his hand out to him.