#Haggis Hunting

[atombonniebaby]

A little idea sprung to mind and I wrote a one shot!

Hope you enjoy (maybe you'll read this and you've heard this classic story us Scots like to spin 😅)

Also features a Mac headcanon and an original fallout themed pun for our boy to claim!

Content warning: Some mature themes and humour, so if your no over 18... Bolt 😘

(p.s I like this screenshot, so I recycled it 🤟)

A Scotsman never tells...

 "Like a Mole Rat, the size of a cat?" MacCready repeats with a frown, waving his hand through the smoky air. 

The Boss' hands dance around, telling his story in a way only he can, and damn it, if his eyes don't sparkle in the dim light of the Third Rail's VIP room, and MacCready reminded himself he oughtta never play cards with the man.

Mac slowly chuckles, boots up on the coffee table, cigarette smoldering between his fingers. "I call brahmincrap," he argues, furrowing his brows. "I mean, I've seen some wacko creatures in the Wastes, but no way in heck there are creatures out there that could have lasted this long with such sparse action in the sheets—I mean, if it weren't for Duncan, the MacCready line would be headin' for extinction—one chance a year?” he scoffs. "No way a species would survive with those odds!”

Nate just chuckles, sipping his Scotch. "Well, those wee buggers have the bonus eh decent dental, son," he smirks with a wink. "Soon as they find their darlin', they're set for life."

That stings a bit. "Watch it, old man, keep yappin', and you'll be feasting on Blamco and beans for the rest of your days—"

The bastard raises his hands defensively, smirking. "Alright, alright. Simmer doon—just dinny forget to snag yersel' a toothbrush next we're in Diamond City— or else it'll be you choking doon canned goods."

"Goddamn it, I brush my teeth! Twice a day!" he bristles, tongue proddin' the crevices in his mouth. "Ain't my fault some teeth never bothered to show."

Nate's eyes soften. "Aye?"

"Had Rickets as a kid...one of the perks of living in a cave, I s'pose," he shrugs. "Lucy managed to work out a treatment for the 'Littles,' by then, the damage had been done." He sighed, fingers picking at the frayed armrest. "I mean, I do alright now—cold weather can be tricky, old injuries hurt like heck, and I always gotta work hard to keep my knees from knocking," MacCready tried a laugh. "I'm mostly pissed because Lucy always reckoned I should've been taller."

"Ach, just makes it easier for ye tae hide in tight spaces, lad."

His lips were curling before he could even get the words out. "Dunno about that, boss. You of all people should know the difference a few inches can make."

Nate scoffs, doing his best to look offended, but there's almost a hint of pride in those eyes before he's shaking his head. "Damn—Rickets, Mac? No wonder you tire out quick, lad...Ye're needin' to cook more, eat some red meat, get some dairy in ye...and lose the hat and layers when ye can, get some sun on your skin...You'll be at more risk of it coming back."

He can't help but laugh. "What, so if I start chowing down on Brahmin and Radstag and soak up the rays, I'll morph into some tall, dark, handsome stranger?"

Nate grins, swirling his Scotch, "Take it easy, it's not a magic potion, Rob—actually, Haggis might be great for your diet," he chimes, changing the subject, like he always does when they get off track. 

"Haggis? What the heck are you on about now?" Mac chuckles, ashing his cigarette. 

The animated Scott explains further. The Haggis—or 'Haggi,' plural—those critters he'd been yammering about—have longer legs on one side of their 'dumpy' bodies—means they can only scoot around the hills in one direction. It’s a one-shot deal: find a mate or wait another year for some action. 

"Sounds like a crock of—" 

"Hold on," he interrupts, a smile on his lips. "In Scotland, it was tradition for families to hunt a haggis, fatten it up, and serve it on Rabbie Burns Night, wi' some neeps and tatties..."

"Rabbie, who now?" He raises an eyebrow. "The frick are 'neeps'?” he guessed 'tatties' was just his the idiot pronounced 'tatos.'

"Rabbie Burns," he chuckles. "Famous Scottish poet. You need to broaden your literary horizons, MacCready." His laughter fades as he continues, "And a 'neep' is a turnip."

MacCready opened his mouth, about to ask the boss to further define 'turnip,' before he was cut off.

"My sister El, she would break her heart every year. Took her forever to accept that we had to cook up her wee pal."

As much as he tries to believe—this tall tale about haggis sounds as believable as a three-headed Radstag. "I still don't buy it," he scoffs, trying to suppress his grin. "You're pulling my leg. If these things are real, I'll eat my hat."

The idiot just laughs, downing the last of his Scotch. "Would ye prefer a tell ye' it's a bunch eh mushed up innards, mixed wi oats and cooked in an animal's stomach?"

"I think I'm gonna be sick—”

His guts were turnin'. He took a deep breath to calm it. He's shaking his head, grinning despite himself. "Well, if it's anythin' like molerat, it'll just burrow a hole through my caps stash...I'll stick to Radstag, surprisingly not as dear..."

Nate let out a wavering groan as he tried to suppress a laugh. "You're a wee arse, lad. Dang sense eh humor eh yours is dire."

"Yeah-yeah, believe what you want...you're clearly at home with your delusions—they're entertaining, at least."

He takes a victory drag from his cigarette, leans back, and watches Nate's eyes dance as he delves into another tall tale about some sea monster.

Despite his skepticism, Nate's tales offer a rare glimpse into a world beyond the Wastes. So he listens, the taste of stale smoke on his tongue and a story spinning out before him.

He realizes this—this is as close a guy like him could get to what he always envisioned it would be like, to grow up with a father—lulled to sleep with a late-night tale about Wasteland beasts and heroic adventures.

The dad he couldn't wait to be.

Yay, found family 🥰

[thesnailtail]

what is a haggis hunt!? (/pos)

;; one of the greatest things about living where i do!!!!

;; first of all, what's a haggis? there's not any photos of a wild haggis, so it's often treated like a cryptid, think: nessy or mothman. but in folklore they're described as a creature with four legs, long scruffy fur and whiskers. they tend to be peaceful unless provoked, so a haggis hunt tends to be similar to bird watching really.

;; but a haggis hunt itself is going out into the countryside, typically in the proper middle of scotland! places like the highlands!!! then searching for tracks and looking in areas that likely have gatherings of them. at some point a haggis will show up! the hunting season is from around the start december to end of january and it's completely illegal to hunt from january to march to protect the breeding season! under strict regulation, haggis are hunted for food (how else do you think haggis, neeps and tatties happens?), however all methods legally allowed are ethical and prevent as much harm as possible. and of course you need to have someone experienced with you >:3

[dougielombax]

I’ve always found jokes about hunting the wild haggis and conservation thereof to be in rather poor taste.

Even if some of it is just harmless joking around.

It just feels like anyone who makes such jokes is trying to take the piss out of conservationists and environmentalists.

In my mind…

Now I don’t live in Scotland (despite loyalists trying constantly to turn the north of Ireland into a carbon copy of the worst parts of the place) so idk how any Scottish users feel about this.

It just bugs me way more than it should do.

[hunterrrs]

photos from here, I NEED FOOTAGE OF THIS. also this article is a great read. he’s invited some families who lost their homes in the halifax fires to practice:

By the time you read this, Pittsburgh Penguins players will have munched on the pudding known as haggis, made from the livers, hearts and lungs of sheep. And learned how to shuck oysters, in all their slimy, gooey glory.

All courtesy of Sidney Crosby, the Pittsburgh captain, who brought team building to an entirely new level on Saturday. From the moment months ago that he learned the Penguins would be playing here, Crosby was stoked. A proud native of Cole Harbour, 10 miles from Halifax, the 36-year-old began planning out his transformation from NHL star to tour guide.

“I think just the feel of it, the people, and to see the excitement for the game,” Crosby said Friday. “And just to get around the city a little bit, those types of things.

“It’s somewhere that I’m really proud of, and I hope everyone enjoys themselves there.”

In order to do that, he set something up with a unique Maritime flavor. Welcome to “The Amazing Race: Crosby Edition.”

“When Sidney found out the team was coming here, he wanted to find a fun way to celebrate his hometown with his teammates and educate them on why it’s such a special place,” his father, Troy, said.

He seems to have done exactly that.

After a morning of golf Saturday, the unsuspecting Penguins set out on an “Amazing Race”-like scavenger-hunt competition that would take them through the streets of Cole Harbour, Dartmouth and downtown Halifax, and across Halifax Harbour on a ferry.

Under the format, the players were divided into teams. They were given instructions of where to go, what venues to visit and what tasks they were to do (e.g., eating haggis, shucking oysters), all while going up against the clock.

The instructions came on laminated cards featuring the Penguins logo and a “Welcome to Cole Harbour” greeting.

The message on one of the cards read, “Every player has to shuck two oysters and eat them or have a teammate eat them on their behalf. Careful with that knife, and don’t break any shells!”

Crosby enlisted the help of Paul Mason, one of his baseball and minor hockey coaches, to help plan the event. Mason was paramount in setting up the three Cole Harbour Stanley Cup celebrations in Crosby’s honor, and No. 87 didn’t hesitate when it came to the perfect person to set up this event.

“In organizing this, when he talked to me about it, he wants this entire weekend to be pretty special for the community, for his teammates, for everyone around him,” Mason said. “You can sense how much these few days mean to him. You could sense his anticipation for months.”

Mason said that even though Crosby is the host for his teammates this weekend, he’s going to try to win everything: golf, the scavenger hunt, the preseason game Monday, you name it.

“He’s competitive at everything, even as a little kid when I was coaching him,” Mason said. “And that hasn’t changed.

“When the NHL was shut down during COVID, his dad Troy and I played Sidney and one of his friends in a golf match. They should have won, but somehow we did. He didn’t accept that. He said it was two out of three. When we won the second one he said it was three out of five. We ended up playing seven of them. The seventh one was in December with snow on the ground. They won that one to take the series 4-3. Suddenly that was acceptable because they’d won.

“Once they’d finally won, it was over,” Mason said with a laugh.

During some of those summers, Greenwood has helped organize some of the offseason skates featuring Crosby, MacKinnon and Marchand at a local arena. The competitiveness gets intense at times, something Greenwood said helps all three drive each other.

“Yeah, they’re friends,” he said. “But when they start playing against each other at times, you’d never know it. They want to beat one another at any and all costs.

“You can see how that drive, that determination, that win-at-all-costs attitude rubs off on some of the younger guys.”

Count Drake Batherson as one of them. The 25-year-old Senators forward grew up in New Minas, 50 miles northwest of Halifax, and has been training during the offseason with Crosby, Marchand and MacKinnon since 2019. He calls those workouts “one of my favorite times of the year.”

As such, he’s looking forward to facing Crosby and the Penguins in Halifax on Monday.

“I've still got posters of the Penguins and Sid on my wall at my parents' house, so it's pretty fun now that me and Sid have built a relationship and we're buddies," Batherson said. "It's pretty cool looking back on it.”

It was a tough spring and summer for Nova Scotia.

In late May and early June, wildfires raged through the outskirts of Halifax and throughout the province. More than 16,000 people were forced to evacuate as a result, many eventually returning to find their homes were nothing more than heaps of smoldering ashes.

Less than two months later, the area was hit with record rainfall that caused historic flooding. Water did seep into Crosby’s home, though to nowhere near the extent of some others where people pretty much lost everything.

“The area has been through a lot,” he said. “But the great thing about some of these communities, and the area in general, is that everyone sticks together and everyone’s willing to help each other.

“I think when you’ve seen adverse times here over the years, you’ve seen people come together more and more. And I think we take a lot of pride in that here. The fact that people know they can depend on each other is huge. I think we’ve shown that time and time again, and there’s pride that comes with that.”

Crosby is doing his part to teach local kids exactly that.

On Sunday, the Penguins will hold a practice at Cole Harbour Place. Hundreds of children from the local minor hockey systems have been invited to attend and take part in a Q&A session with some Pittsburgh players and, with a select few kids getting to go on the ice with them.

Part of that group will be kids from minor hockey whose families lost their homes in the fires. Crosby specifically wanted them to attend, with Mason helping to make it happen. Given the trauma they and their families have gone through, it is Crosby’s way of trying to brighten up their lives, even if it’s just for one afternoon.

“That’s Sid, right?” Greenwood said. “He’s going to have an impact on these kids, both on the ice and off.”

He already has.

In 2009, Crosby established the Sidney Crosby Foundation, an organization that improves the lives of children who are sick or struggling. More recently, Crosby and several foundation board members created Nova Scotia Showdown T-shirts heading into the game Monday, with proceeds going to his foundation.

“He’s helping young kids who are going through hard times, and he’s being a role model for young hockey players in the province,” Mason said. “He’s going out of his way to show his Penguins a good time here, and he’s being a great ambassador for the community.”

Greenwood agrees.

“It’s a privilege,” he said, “to say you live in the same place as someone like that.”

[sammaggs]

4x11 Hunting Season | Specificity

One of my favourite pieces of obscure, easily-missable Canadiana in due South.

Thatcher mentions a guest coming to stay from London—and then quickly has to specify London, ENGLAND.

Because there is also a London in Canada, just two hours from Toronto. And if you are from there, you spend your entire life telling people that you’re from London, CANADA.

I know this because I am from London, Canada. And you know who else is?

Paul Haggis. Cute hometown touch.

The first in a series of quiet Canadiana in due South.

[aerachwrites]

Ok proposing a new headcanon to the world so bare with me but Glaswegian Remus has my whole heart

Remus who goes to Celtic matches with his mums muggle family and speaks Scots

Remus who tells all the first years about haggis hunting every year, his mum sends him tablet and he gets homesick for stovies and iron bru two weeks in to each school year

Remus who shows up to the Yule ball in a kilt, who complains that the Hogs Head and Three Broomsticks don’t carry Tennents’s

[mikhailwrites]

Keep your Sergeant happy / Ghost x Soap

Kinktober #18 - Cooking (from the SFW prompt list, made a bit NSFW)

Soap stares. Shocked out of his wit, which is almost unheard of. A confused “You… cook?” is the only response he’s capable of.

“I do. Been told I’m rather good at it, too,” Ghost adds, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Two weeks. Soap and Ghost are holed up in a safe house in the middle of nowhere for two weeks, and the Sergeant is seriously starting to lose it. They don’t even know if they’re really in danger; all Price told them was, “There’s been a leak; lay low, don’t return to the base until you hear from me”. It’s just their luck they’ve been out on a deployment to Germany when it happened.

They’ve been living off canned food and stashed MREs for too long, and Soap’s had just enough. He looks into the cupboard for the umpteenth time as if he doesn’t know what he’ll find there. More cans. “Ah swear Ah will throw up if I have tae eat one more canned meat.” Johnny groans, going through the stash in hopes of finding something else.

Ghost hums in acknowledgement but doesn’t say anything encouraging or otherwise. Soap is sure his Lieutenant could live from berries and roots if it came to that. Or hunt a rabbit with his bare hands or something. He’s seen Ghost’s survival skills first-hand many times. Fuck, Soap would kill for a rabbit. Or a fish. Or anything other than a disgusting piece of pseudo-meat in the sleazy gravy. But there’s nothing else, and his stomach has been growling for over an hour.

By the third, slowly chewed bite, Soap is willing to call this shit worse than actual torture. Closing his eyes as he feeds himself another piece, Soap feels his face contort in a mixture of disgust and apprehension.

“You look like you’re about to die, Johnny,” Ghost says without a hint of emotion.

Soap sighs, putting the dreaded can away as he hopes the few bites would be enough to calm his stomach and give it at least an illusion of sustenance. “Might as well if I have to eat one more of these.”

Ghost chuckles, shaking his head slowly. “Any food is better than no food, trust me.”

Soap knows, truly, but that doesn’t mean he can’t bitch about it, does it?

“Tell you what, if you can manage two cans a day, I’ll cook something nice for you when we get back,” Ghost offers and… he sounds almost cheerful as he says it.

Soap stares. Shocked out of his wit, which is almost unheard of. A confused “You… cook?” is the only response he’s capable of.

“I do. Been told I’m rather good at it, too,” Ghost adds, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Only the sly glint in his eyes betrays the truth that he enjoys teasing Soap.

“What… uh… okay? Alright.” Soap stutters and reluctantly takes the half-eaten can.

Ghost nods his approval. “That’s the spirit, Johnny. So… what’d you like? And I swear to God, if you say haggis, you’re not gonna live it down.”

“Why? Ye cannae do haggis?” Soap teases but quickly reconsiders as Ghost turns to him fully, casually flipping a knife. “Alright, alright! I dinnae even like haggis, ye British twat! Tikka masala fine with ye?”

“Butter chicken it is,” Ghost agrees, hiding the knife away.

The following week is a blur. They get back, Price briefs them, and then they have to catch up on the piles of work that, somehow, could wait up until then but couldn’t wait any longer. Johnny was looking forward to returning home, but now that he’s home, it’s not as happy a reunion as he hoped.

Soap is just finishing up for the day, tired, apathetic and irritable. For the first time ever, he’s seriously considering taking a few days' leave. Ghost’s voice stops him as he reaches the door. “Soap, meet me at the mess hall at 2300.”

It’s a weird request at best, and Soap blinks a few times before he turns around. The Lieutenant doesn’t spare him a glance, still typing away on his keyboard. Maybe Soap didn’t hear right? “Come again?”

“Mess hall, 2300, be there,” Ghost repeats without any further explanation.

Soap nods, too tired to bother. “Sure.”

As a matter of fact, he’s too tired to ponder on it. Ghost tells him to be somewhere, Soap does it, easy as that—no thinking required.

The moment he steps into the mess hall, five minutes to eleven, he realises what’s going on. The smell of masala, garlic and turmeric is enough to make his mouth water immediately. He remembers Ghost’s promise now.

Entering the kitchen, he sees Ghost dressed in his usual black attire, with a white apron. The balaclava is tucked up on his nose because, obviously, he needs to smell and taste the sauce. Nobody would ever believe Soap if he told them.

“You were actually serious,” Johnny says as he leans against the counter, watching in astonishment as Ghost prepares the meal. No, not Ghost, it’s Simon now. And Simon’s moves in the kitchen are just as steady and well-practised Ghost’s on the battlefield.

Simon chuckles, stirring the sauce. “I was. Now, hand me the plates.”

Soap does, feeling a bit nostalgic. He used to help his maw in the kitchen when he was but a wee kid. He watches Simon fill the plates with rice, pouring a generous amount of sauce over it and adding a healthy amount of chicken on top. “Here you go, one chicken tikka masala.”

They sit at the table; it’s a bit weird being the only two people there, but Soap doesn’t mind. This feels nice. Unsure of what to expect, he scoops some rice with his fork, adding the sauce to it, before he tenderly tastes it.

“Holy shit,” Soap utters in disbelief, staring first into his plate, then at Simon, who looks very pleased with himself as he eats his own portion. “This is so good!”

“Thank you,” Simon smirks. “Told you I can cook.”

It’s true, but for some reason, Johnny really thought he was joking. Ghost. Cooking. And acing it, as he aces pretty much anything he does. On a closer inspection, it shouldn’t surprise him. Soap opts for not saying anything and just enjoying the amazing treat. When he tastes the chicken that was probably soaking in the marinating sauce for some time, he moans obscenely. The food is honestly much better than it has any right to be. So good, in fact, that it strips Soap of his brain-to-mouth filter. “If you’re at least half as good a lay as you are a cook, I wanna marry ye.”

Simon pauses, fork with another bite lifted halfway. His eyes are wide with surprise.

“Oh fuck…,” Soap breathes out as he realises not only what did he just say but to whom.

Simon smiles, one of his slightly scary, feral smiles. “Technically, this could count as a dinner.”

Soap is fighting the overwhelming mixture of confusion and panic. He has no clue what’s going on, but Simon doesn’t seem offended, which is good. In fact, he looks… intrigued. Okay, Soap can work with that. “You think me some easy lad, letting you have your way with me after just one dinner?”

“It’s a damn good dinner,” Simon shrugs. He watches Soap intently, and the intent is dark and hungry.

Johnny slides his foot under the table until it nudges against Simon’s. It’s a safe touch, nothing overt or inappropriate. “Aye, it is. Makes me want to ask about the dessert.”

Simon’s foot nudges him right back with more strength, forcing Soap to spread his legs a little. Bleedin’ Jesus, is this really happening? “I might have something… back in my room.”

Soap finishes his plate in a record time, feeling genuinely sorry because it was definitely good enough to savour. Maybe he could convince Ghost to cook for him again. He’s determined to try.

It’s a small miracle they make it to Ghost’s room without any incidents. The moment the doors close, however, Simon is already yanking the balaclava off, mashing their mouths together as he wrestles with Soap’s clothes.

Johnny helps with that and then promptly returns the favour, eager to touch every inch of exposed skin, to kiss and taste everything Simon offers. And he offers plenty. They kiss, and they rut against each other, desperately trying to relieve some of the tension. However, it’s not that easy because it has been building up for months. The banter, the flirting, the seemingly innocent touches. It all culminates right here, at this moment.

Johnny has no idea when exactly their dynamic shifts, but at one moment, Simon is kissing him, licking his way into Johnny’s mouth, and the next, it’s Johnny, pressing on, forcing Simon to take a step back, then another, until they get to the bed. He’s never imagined Ghost as anything other than pushy top, but it seems that he was wrong. Still, he needs to clarify. “You want me to…?”

“Yeah, Johnny, fuck me,” Simon says, almost painfully blunt but perfectly clear. Johnny pauses to take a deep breath.

“It’d be my absolute pleasure, Simon,” Johnny grins, pushing Ghost back, causing him to fall on the bed. Ghost could immediately turn the tables if he felt so inclined, and it turns Soap on. He gets Ghost to cook for him, he gets him to be manhandled, and he gets to fuck him. He might just be the luckiest lad in the whole fucking world.

It’s good, so good. Simon is far from passive; he wants Johnny, and what Simon wants, Simon gets. Slowing down and speeding up again, changing the angle ever so slightly, they work together in nearly perfect sync to prolong their pleasure. Despite their best efforts, it cannot last.

Johnny is the first to succumb, gasping, only barely managing to keep reasonably quiet as the sweet respite takes him. Simon is close behind, grunting and arching his back as he grinds against Soap.

They lay on the bed, side by side, sticky and messy, yet unable to do anything about it for the moment.

“I’m doomed. You are as good a fuck as you are a cook,” Johnny laughs, quiet and light, tracing invisible patterns on Simon’s skin.

“I’m not marrying you, Johnny,” Simon retorts in a tone just as light.

“You say that now, but wait until the second date.”

[scotianostra]

With Burns Nigbt just round the corner please be mindful when choosing your Haggis.

They may be cheaper, but these poor haggii are raised in nothing more than a factory, kept in horrendous conditions for 12 months before being shepherded onto conveyor belts, never seeing the light of day, or able to run around oor hills and glens.

Go to your local butchers for free range, or even better, a wild haggis, as seen in the second pic, a vintage photo from many years ago, you will taste the difference and have some peace of mind that they have had a better life.

Some enterprising Scots are now organising Haggis hunting, be careful though, not all are legal and will involve nothing more than poaching. Make sure your hunt is affiliated.

Of course you can also pick up vegan haggis if that's your thing.

[genopaint]

Back on track!! Just got done with Week 12 of Daily Dragons! A couple more original designs this time and also the first gift art of the challenge so far :)

If you're curious, the Yoshis from last week counted for the first 2 of this week. That's why there's only 5.

As always you can follow me on twitter where they’re posted daily

And read more info on each of them below the cut

Daily Dragon #79 - Lockedodon

A strange creature that lives its life locked inside of a safe! Some people safe you can see what the dragon looks like, as well as what it's hoarding, if you break the door off... But it's believed to be VERY powerful if unleashed from the safe!

I've only done 4 fully original dragons this month but I just had no real ideas sticking out to me so I decided to use a theme generator and stumbled upon the Pixel Art Theme Generator! Cute site, I didn't limit myself to the colors but I did use them

Daily Dragon #80 - Skybeam

Skybeam is a fancy dragon who thinks way too highly of himself. Very few like being around him because of this, and even the kobolds who mine for him only stick around because he's too self obsessed to notice them stealing gems from his lair!

Figured since I did one random generator, I might as well just make that the theme for today lol. So I went and actually found a random dragon generator! Neat!

Daily Dragon #81 - Bixbi

Everyone loves sassy rich lizard girls ❤️

We set up this art trade a gooood minute ago but I only just now got around to finishing up my half! We both decided to draw our mischievous lizard girls so it was kind of a match made in heaven Also I think this is the first gift art daily dragon :)

Daily Dragon #82 - Barbequsaur

A big pig dragon that's hunted for its tasty, smoked meat! Taking them down is no easy task though, as they also come with powerful fire breath! Some brave food-lovers eat a special kind of spicy haggis cooked inside their fire-breath-sacks!

Daily Dragon #83 - Googlysaur

A funny looking dragon that isn't particularly aggressive... It can't really deal much damage to you... but you also won't be dealing much damage to it! If you hit it, it'll just bounce right back like a punching bag. They're oddly bouncy.

[bonefall]

could i have like..a comprehensive list of all the foods the cats make? and/or how they make them? i am fascinated by these cooking cats

I have lots of posts linked under the Clan Culture Masterpost, but I can try to compile all the dishes I have planned so far. I'm slow with them because I try not to release Warrior Bites entries without art.

Anyway list;

Tunnelbuns

Hopperpoppers (deep fried grasshoppers)

Bloodcones

Refreshers (A kind of meat tea broth)

Dried Minnows

Jerky

Honey-drizzled roasted mouse

Baked Mussels

Ham

Simmered Snails

Paw Soup (Created by the apprentices on the journey, in an attempt to resurrect the next item on this list)

Marsh Gumbo (An extinct dish made between Shadow and Wind before Heatherstar's war)

Frog Soup (ShadowClan doesn't even have a set recipe for this, it's just well known as a ShadowClan thing.)

Roasted Grandpa (Baked rats; SkyClan's sense of humor on full display)

Hot Stone Stomach (Haggis-esque dish)

Sausage

Black pudding

I'm also trying to adapt Spotted Dick into a warriors-friendly version, first of all because it is a food they would absolutely make, and second of all, funny british name. The hardest part is finding an easy source of suet, I don't think they can actually hunt any animals that have it :///

[saapasjalkakissa-tg]

Happy Burns Night! The wild haggis hunting season begins!

Via Reddit

[olympeline]

A few headcanons for Hetalia Scotland:

Is Alisdair a canon name? If it’s not, idc. It’s a good one 👍 If all the brothers are Kirkland then I like to think it was Scot’s surname first. England (and Wales by extension) took it when the Scottish James I became king of England and so formed the United Kingdom. That all his little(?) brothers took his name is definitely a feather in Scot’s cap.

No one knows if he or Wales is the oldest brother, including Scotland and Wales themselves. The first time they happened to cross paths during their wandering around Great Britain, they each saw another boy who looked the same age. Scotland insists he is the elder brother, Wales disagrees but more quietly.

Scotland has a favourite city out of Glasgow and Edinburgh. But he’s not going to start a civil war in his country by telling anyone which it is! (Psst, it’s Glasgow)

The Auld Alliance was a fiery, passionate affair between Scotland and France. The kind that was pure, mutual lust at first sight and got physical very quickly. Like, “we just met for the first time while our bosses hammer out details and now we’re banging against the wall in the antechamber” quickly. Sexy, sophisticated, continental France vs. wilder, rougher Scotland was just what the doctor ordered for both of them. Unfortunately, it didn’t really last. That kind of white hot, burning hunger never does. It didn’t help that a significant chunk of the non-physical part of their bond was built on their mutual hatred of England. You can’t build a long term love on something like that. Once Scotland’s relationship with his little brother started to improve, his affair with France simultaneously cooled. These days they’re better off as friends. Scot recalls their relationship more fondly and feels more wistful than France does.

And yes, that Scotland was eventually replaced by England as France’s soulmate does make his complicated feelings towards England even more strained. Thank ye for asking *Sound of Scottie teeth grinding*

Scotland holds his liquor best out of all his brothers and can drink most of Europe under the table. Only true heavyweights like Russia and the Balkans give him a run for his money

Like all the UK bros, Scotland has magic and can see magical creatures. Vistors to his country are often surprised to learn that Scot’s favourite isn’t the famous Nessie (though he is very fond of her) but rather his herd of unicorns. Hunted nearly to extinction in the rest of the UK, the unicorn’s last stronghold is up in Scotland. During one of their many wars, England slew Scotland’s oldest and most beloved unicorn (“The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown…”) and took its alicorn back to London. Even after the unification and a regretful England returning it, Scotland is still bitter.

Yes, Scotland does play the bagpipes. Yes, he’s very good at it. When he plays and Wales sings, it’s really something to behold…er, listen to

What’s Scotland’s least favourite thing about his home? The rain? The cold? No, you fool! The midges. Dear GOD the midges. Eat you alive in summer they will!

Scotland’s cooking makes the rest of his brothers look almost competent by comparison. He has the dubious honour of making both some of the most unappetising food (haggis!) and also the most unhealthy. Everything battered, deep fried, and washed down with fifty cans of drink so stiff with sugar it would make America blush. What’s not to love? Diabetes. Diabetes is not to love. Scot’s bosses have been on a health kick lately but their nation is as stubborn as any of the UK bros and it’s not easy persuading him to change his ways

Scotland wears his kilt like a true Scot: nothing below and god help ye if there’s a headwind 🍆

Britainya (aka Britain cat) was born in Scotland but doesn’t like spending much time there because of the climate. He still comes to visit Scotland in the summer, though. His favourite place to sleep is on Scotland’s feet. Keeping his toes warm like a living heater

Scotland is very proud that he was able to hold off Grandpa Rome and stop the Romans ever getting a real foothold on his turf. Though that pride is complicated by feelings of guilt that he couldn’t protect his little brothers. Even if they were enemies at the time, it still chafes Scot that part of their isle was occupied for hundreds of years. Seeing England and, to a lesser extent, Wales under Grandpa Rome’s boot and watching them be Romanised was painful

And yes, let’s talk about that elephant lion in the room: England. England, England, England. The golden child of the UK bros that Scotland can’t get away from or ignore no matter how hard he tries. To say Scot’s feelings towards his baby bro are complicated is an understatement. He’s so proud of what they achieved together, but wishes he could claim more of the credit. He feels guilt for not driving the Romans out of Britain, but a small, hateful part still gloats that only he could stop the invaders in their tracks. He’s glad they’re on better terms these days, but resents that the unification has eclipsed him so much in the eyes of the world. He knows in his heart of hearts that his relationship with France was never meant to last, but seeing France with England hurts him even so. Scotland was the older brother, not England. It should have been him. It all should have been him

Scottie has a lot of Nordic in him and gets on well with the Scandis. He could probably make a good case for being one of them, but nothing’s come of it yet. Estonia is very jelly

His favourite food is scotch eggs. His favourite drink is irn bru in the day and good old Scotch whisky at night

[critical-birb]

Random things I feel people outside of Scotland should know about Scotland.

-Kilts are formalwear. You only wear that kinda thing to like - weddings and funerals and stuff usually, maybe a fancy party. You wear a sporran with a kilt, it's like a little pouch that's usually fuzzy.

-If you live in Edinburgh/Glasgow/Aberdeen you probably hate bagpipes because everywhere you go there's buskers with bagpipes. They just....appear. you'll be trying to work your 9-5 and suddenly there's a bagpiper on the corner by the office and for the next six hours you have to listen to it. There is only one song that is played on the bagpipes and it gets real repetitive real fast.

-I am ruining the joke for everyone but as an autistic person who would be super confused by this unspoken rule in another country I need to share - literally everyone in Scotland will try to convince you as a foreigner that the wild Hagis is a real animal that lives in the Highlands. Every single museum has a Haggis exhibition with like a weird taxidermy animal that's usually a mash up between like a hedgehog and a bird or something. People will, with a straight face, talk to you about how they were hunted to near extinction. Zoos and safari parks will have empty exhibits with signs saying there is wild Hagis living in there hiding. This is the most widely known Scottish joke that literally every Scottish person is in on.

-Haggis is lamb, fat and oats boiled in a sheeps stomach with a bunch of spices. It's unironically good actually if you give it a chance. It's basically fatty spiced meat.

-Other popular foods in Scotland include Cullen Skink, which is a rich cream based soup with potatoes and fish. Black pudding, a sausage made with blood - great for iron deficiency. White pudding, a sausage made from oats, grains, herbs and spices. Stovies, which is basically potatoes/onions/meat boiled together and usually eaten with bread, Neeps and tatties which is mashed potato and sweed. We are also known for deep frying anything, any corner shop chippy will deep fry a chocolate bar for you. Somehow we are obsessed with sugar and fat but at the same time we also put salt on our porridge.

-A Ceilidh is a group dance - a similar concept to square dancing if you're in the US. Except a lot more violent. Someone will usually briefly teach everyone the steps and then you are thrown into chaos and the music gets faster and faster. Someone will inevitably be thrown into you at high speeds and you will break a bone. It's extremely fun. Often done to accordion music. Lots of larger pubs do ceilidh nights you should go to one if you can, it's good if you go alone because they only work with an even number of people and 99% of the time they're begging for a single person to join to make up the numbers. You'll make a lot of drink friends and possibly get vomited on as you're thrown around at high speeds and kicked in the shins laughing like a loon.

-The more North you go the less you will understand people. I'm from Edinburgh and live near Glasgow and for the fuck of me I can't understand a word anyone says here. I went to Aberdeen once and I swear they were talking gibberish. They felt the same about me. The dialects are too strong.

-We also have a rich history of language including Gaelic and Doric and a few others. Scots is what you probably think of when you think Scottish people - it is technically its own language but is very similar to English just with lots of different terminology. Our native languages like Gaelic were outlawed by England when they colonised us and it's only in recent decades we have started to try to reclaim them.

-We dislike England. Don't ever call a Scottish person 'British' rather than Scotish, it opens up a whole can of worms I am not about to go into right now.

-Iron Bru (the bright orange soda that tastes like a candy store) is more popular than Cola here. Scotland is the only place worldwide where Coke isn't the most popular carbonated beverage. Iron Bru is the lifeblood of Scotish people and it is literally everywhere.

Anyway there's your Scotland facts of the day

[zinnie-zoloft]

Things I think should happen in Our Flag Means Death

1. Buttons tells the crew about haggises

Half of them want to see one and the other half are like “there’s no way those are real”

Someone should convince Stede to hunt down a haggis, I think he’d be very easy to convince and 100% down for it

2. The ship gets a cat

The ship develops a rat problem so they get a cat to deal with it

They don’t know what to name it so everyone comes up with suggestions

Frenchie is convinced the cat is trying to curse him

Izzy ends up bonding with the cat and is ultimately the one who names it

His threatening demeanour is severely undermined by the fact he’s carrying around a fluffy cat

3. The “none of us speak English” excuse

The crew needs to get out of a situation and they do so by pretending none of them speak English

This seems like a good idea because most of them are bilingual, however problems arise when they have to communicate with each other but they can’t use English and don’t have another language in common

4. Anne Bonny and Mary Read

They probably know Ed and Izzy through Calico Jack

We have so many gay pirates it’s time we have some lesbians too

More potential non-binary representation with Mary/Mark

5. Ching Shih the pirate queen

Ok so she existed like 100 years after the events of the show but historical accuracy isn’t exactly a top priority

Zheng Yi Sao aka Ching Shih married pirate captain Zheng Yi and later took over his fleet after he died

She is one of the most successful pirates in history there’s literally so much potential here

Ed suggested he and Stede run away to China and I still think they should go on their honeymoon there, this would be the perfect opportunity to introduce her

Just some ideas for potential episodes and plotlines, if anyone wants to write something based on these then go for it

[simplepotatofarmer]

premise: techno is a successful and feared pirate in a world where imperialism and government control are expanding, crushing anyone who disagrees beneath its boot. the ranks of the pirate factions are dwindling as they're hunted down. techno and his vague rival, dream, are some of the few that remain to push back.

when techno is captured and forced into working on a naval ship, he runs into a naval officer, phil, he had drinks with once, in what feels like another life. during his work stint, techno and phil bond and when rescue is imminent, techno offers phil and his two closest friends, ranboo and niki, a choice: leave the navy and come with him.

whatever choice the three make, one thing is clear. the government has no intentions of stopping until their control reaches the far ends of the sea, going as far as installing a governor to rule over one of the last free lands and sending out their ship-of-the-line, the butcher army, to quell any uprising.

now it's war, complete with unlikely allies and unwilling sacrifices.

characters: technoblade, phil, dream, ranboo, niki, george, sapnap, and others in minor roles

setting: non-canon with minor fantasy and steampunk elements and mentions of canon

theme song(s): 'salty dog' by flogging molly & 'the basket or the blade' by enter the haggis & 'revolution regained' by the living end

random headcanons:

techno's first ship is a sloop called the golden bell and dream's first ship is a brigantine called manhunter.

despite giving quarter to most of his enemies, techno's skill has earned him the nickname 'blood god', in part thanks to his strange ritual of ringing a bell before every battle. the sound alone is often enough for target ships to give up before the battle even begins.

dream's rivalry with techno is almost fully one-sided though the two did clash early on, resulting in a duel that techno won. dream respects his skill and seems to enjoy bringing up the duel, almost bragging that he lost to techno.

ranboo joined the navy after migrating to the new land and finding survival next to impossible and joining the navy being one of the only ways to have guaranteed income.

years ago, phil and techno met in a tavern. they shared multiple rounds of drinks and techno stood up for phil when a group of thieves attempted to rob him which was considered a bit taboo since phil was an outsider and techno was one of them. it put techno in a slightly awkward position as he was just starting out and hadn't yet gained his reputation.

dream's flag is similar to teach's flag except the skeleton wears an unnerving and inhumane smile, like a child might draw, and holds a bloody axe in one hand and a book in the other.

this is techno's flag:

niki eventually gains her own ship called 'the sea flower' and flies under a combination of her own flag and techno's faction, declaring her loyalty to him.

the 'big bad' is not any character but an original character though characters like quackity, sam, tubbo, etc. do work for them at various points.

☠️tag ☠️ pinterest board

[gothikaxenon]

Total Drama Ridonculous Race Fanwork Ideas

I’ve been considering a Total Drama Ridonculous Race fanseries and I need some suggestions for this.

So far I came up with several teams, locations, and challenges listed below, but I’ll be needing more ideas.

Teams:

Ex-Couple (Gwen and Trent) Environmentalists (Bridgette and Dawn) Geeks (Cody and Harold) Cousins (Leshawna and Leshaniqua) Son and Mom (DJ and his Mama) Villainous Couple (Heather and Alejandro) Models (Justin and Anne Maria) Farm Boys (Scott and Rodney) Athletes (Sky and ____) Survivalists (Jasmine and Shawn) Cheerleader Twins (Amy and Samey) Pageant Queens (Sugar and ____) Goths (Crimson and Ennui) Reality TV Pros (Noah and Owen) Stepbrothers (Lorenzo and Chet) Newly-Weds (Carrie and Devin) Girl Scouts (OCs) Acrobats (OCs)

Locations:

Great Lakes; Canada Rocky Mountains; Canada Rome; Italy Crete; Greece Loch Ness; Scotland Tokyo; Japan Seoul; South Korea Gobi Desert; Mongolia Himalayas; Tibet Phnom Penh; Cambodia Bankok; Thailand Port Dickson; Malaysia Manila; Philippines Galapagos Islands Alaska; United States Texas; United States San Francisco California; United States Honey Island Louisiana; United States Havana; Cuba Fajardo; Puerto Rico Panama City; Panama Great Barrier Reef; Australia Madagascar Antarctica Jeddah; Saudi Arabia Giza; Egypt

Challenges:

Gladiator themed challenge at a colosseum (Rome; Italy) Exploring and escaping the Cretan labyrinth (Crete; Greece) Exploring Loch Ness and eating haggis (Loch Ness; Scotland) Samurai themed challenge and haiku writing (Tokyo; Japan) Fossil hunting (Gobi Desert; Mongolia) Exploring Mount Everest (Himalayas; Tibet) Tortoise race (Galapagos Islands) Iditarod challenge (Alaska; United States) Rodeo challenge (Texas; United States) Investigating Alcatraz Prison (San Francisco California; United States) Exploring Honey Island Swamp (Honey Island Louisiana; United States) Finding treasure in a coral reef (Great Barrier Reef; Australia) Penguin round-up and finding a RR branded fake penguin egg (Antarctica) Decoding imagery on carpets (Jeddah; Saudi Arabia) Pyramid and tomb exploration with hieroglyphic decoding (Giza Egypt)

Please leave comments on this post if you can suggest ideas for this topic.

I need a total of 18 teams and 26 locations (already considered), and 26 challenges.