#HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO GO TO WORK RN

[kendyroy]

OH MY GOD?????

[ducktollers]

got a sortof interview for a research assistant job tomorrow and sooooooooo scareds :D

[serendipitous-mage]

why do fire alarm batteries

ONLY

ever need replacing when you are dead fucking asleep

did i enrage god? does she hate me now as i too hate this creation of ours? when will she replace MY batteries

[diabeticgirl4]

More ppl keep quitting at my work and methinks they've all got the right idea

[ur-local-neighborhood-scene-kid]

NNOOOOOO AO3 IS DOWN DUE TO A DDOS ATTACK NOOOOOO I WANTED TO READ X READER FICS OF MY BLORBOS NOOOOOOOO

[your-jellyfish-senpai]

Losing my mind a little this week it's fine

[r2y9s-notartblog]

cute noc shift nurse who hangs out in my office before she goes home when i come in for am just straight up asked me to my face in front of my boss if i was gay.

and my gay-ass panicked and went "well i'm not straight???"

[uwooyoungs]

//

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

love how my students have called me a karen yet the ones who demand their way immediately and refuse to listen to reason/policies you have no control over and try to pull the “legal card” (aka “it’s illegal for you to [thing that is very legal]”) and say that I don’t help them while they were “too busy” talking to friends/playing games/horsing around/etc to listen

[httpsserene]

𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 - 𝐥𝐬. 𝟏𝟖 | 𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝟒𝟎𝟒: 𝐏𝐍𝐅 |

𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝟒𝟎𝟒: 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 - 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐞

summary: after all of the trials, tribulations, and failed relationships of your life, you deserve your happy ending. content warning: soft launch and hard launch. sibling dynamics (bullying). reader's mom. puns. happily ever after. elden-ring dlc spoilers! (ik it came out very recently but we’re pretending it’s older in this universe). profanity. a couple suggestive lines. attempt at humor. alcohol (reader gets drunk on nye). pairing: lance stroll x fem!black!reader

from serene: the insane amount of work i did to make fake clips of a twitch stream…there’s most definitely an easier way to do it. unrelated: i did not think a lewham win was in the cards this year, but i'm so fucking happy that he did win silverstone! of any race, i'm glad it was that one. finishing up toasty part two today, so expect it to drop tomorrow or the day after that! and most importantly, enjoy this final installment of error 404: plot not found xxx

⌕ prev | join taglist | requests & feedback | table of contents | series toc ↻

twitter • ynplays • december 27th

instagram • ynfanaccount • december 27th

liked by lancestroll, user35, user12, and 11,376 others

ynfanaccount: the three most popular clips from yn's twitch stream today! can you see a theme?

tagged ynplays

view comments

user1: lance liked this!!!

➥ user2: do you think he watched the stream :(

➥ user3: girl. i think he watched IRL. that was definitely a man's voice in the third clip! you can kinda hear him at the very start!

user4: don't know what's worse: yn lying to us about having a date for nye or yn gaslighting us into believing that was her sister smh

➥ yoursister: i'm not even at her house rn 🤔

➥ ynplays: whaTCHU OUT HERE BEING MESSY FOR??!

➥ user4: exposed by your own sister

➥ user5: L + ratio

➥ user6: ynnnnnnn who was thatttttttt

user7: so we can all agree that she was talking to lance in that last clip :o

➥ user8: um no. he's still in canada. yn seems like the type to have already moved on to a different man 🙄🥱

➥ user9: who the fuck are you? you must be new around here if you're deciding to talk crazy.

➥ user10: and how TF do you know that lance is still in canada? r u stalking him or smth? last clip, turn up your volume, clear as day you can hear yn almost say his name

➥ user11: worst take i've heard so far @/user8 delete your account 🤡🤡🤡

igstory • ynplays uploaded!

[caption1; when he gifts you flowers just because >>>>] [caption2; wild baby sega posing pretty in the snow 🥺]

yourbestie: answer my fucking facetime neOWW YOU WHORE

yourfriend1: "he" as in lance stroll, the f1 driver that flew all the way from canada to see you and prove that a long distance relationship with him is worth it and he also begged for you to cuddle him live on your twitch stream, gifted you flowers just because? ynplays: he *allegedly begged for me to cuddle him. you couldn't really hear it on the stream 🤓☝🏽 youfriend1: OMG ITS ACTUALLY HM INN YOUR HOUSE U LYING SNAKE yourfriend1: oh your sister is going to kill you rip 😔

yourfriend2: oh wow lance...i didn't expect him to be a returning love interest at all (sarcasm) yourfriend2: put my niece on the phone 🥱 ynplays: sega is not your niece ynfriend2: PUT MY FUR-NIECE ON THE PHONE BEFORE I STEAL HER 👺

yoursister: omw. ynplays: m not opening the door yoursister: okay? lance will open it for me ynplays: not if he doesn't want me to die he won't ynsister: if he wants to live, he will. also you gave me a key ✨

lilymhe: can't wait to see you in the paddock next year 😘 ynplays: wtf. you know who i am😨 lilymhe: alex gossips VERY loudly with george liymhe: also i love the unedited skincare & makeup videos you make, they feel like girlhood honestly ynplays: going to faint rq brb

instagram • lancestroll • dec28th • where i'm supposed to be ⚑

liked by estebanocon, chloestroll, ynbestie, and 675,432 others

lancestroll: reconnecting

view comments

estebanocon: seems better 😁

➥ lancestroll: yes you were right okay thank you

➥ user12: right about what?

➥ user13: think it's a refrence to esteban's reply on lance's previous post!

fernandoalonso: that pizza looks mid.

➥ lancestroll: what

➥ user14: IJBOL 😂😂😂

➥ user15: it feels like i just heard my parents using slang

➥ user16: that's my favorite rookie 🙂‍↕️

user17: okay yn's best friend liked!

➥ user18: soft launch radar: SCREAMING 🔊🎚️

➥ user19: does this count as a sl? it's more like a deluxe edition to an album

➥ user20: it's giving album repackaging

➥ user18: i think it's cute that he's still doing a sl !! i'm just happy they're getting back together 😌

user21: LANCE the bouquet you gifted her was sooo pretty!

➥ user22: my boyfriend has to step the fuck up (the location on this too 😭😭😭)

➥ user23: bro there's no conformation he even gave her those 😒

➥ user24: are you blind 🤨? you need to get your eyes checked fr @/user23

➥ user21: ain't it funny? how the non-believers have fallen so low into their delusion...

twitter • december 28th

instagram • ynplays • dec 30th • happy ⚑

liked by estebanocon, lilymhe, yoursister, and 179,674 others

ynplays: yes, i have a date for my new year's party: it's the 31st! 🥳🥳🥳

view comments

alexandrasaintmleux: i can treat you better than him 😩

➥ lilymhe: she's mine 😡

➥ ynplays: but pookies :( don't fight

➥ alexandrasaintmleux: okay kitten whiskers :(

➥ lilymhe: hmph. as long as you don't forget that you were daddy's first 😤

➥ user25: if i didn't know the shrek reference i'd be calling the cops

yoursister: you will send that poor man to an early grave

➥ yoursister: at least you're raising his blood pressure and not mine

➥ yourbestie: i'm just happy i'm not getting the video game rage texts anymore

➥ ynplays: haters (i love you both)

➥ yoursister: it takes the same amount of energy to love or or hate and i will always chose hate when it's you (i love you more)

➥ yourbestie: it's a consequence of cutting my hair off when we were three (ditch your man so we can have a sleepover please)

user26: lame ass dad joke in the caption

➥ ynplays: i thought it was funny 😕

➥ yourfriend1: it wasn't 👎🏽

➥ yourfriend2: should've asked the gc b4 you posted 🤷‍♀️

user27: so we all just ignoring her asking him for nudes…

➥ user28: and what about it???

➥ user29: you're just mad you don't have anybody to send you smth naughty

➥ user30: you notice how he didn't say no tho 👀👀

user31: nonchalant boyfriend core

➥ user32: nonchalant boyfriend & gamer girlfriend >>>

➥ user33: like, he just always in his own world, he rly quiet fr unless he know u

➥ user34: he funny asl tho if he know u type shit

user35: adding this to my lance stroll x reader fic

➥ user36: you couldn't WATERBOARD this info out of me 😭

➥ user37: lance stroll boyfriend aesthetic

➥ user38: ...aye dm a link to that fic LOL ☠️☠️☠️

igstory • ynplays uploaded!

[caption; ui i Lov myy bfrikenddd!!!?! happy new yrsss, ocme give me a KISS labbceyyyy]

lancestroll: i leave you with your sister for 2 seconds to use the bathroom lancestroll: you're super adorable when you're drunk lancestroll: i'll get you some water and come give you a kiss mon coeur lancestroll: you're so pretty

user39: something tells me you will not be able to stream tomorrow

user40: PUT THAT DOWN !!! ts is bigger than your HEAD GIRL

instagram • lancestroll and ynplays • january 1st • my heart ⚑

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, twitch, astonmartinf1 and 3,492,125 others

lancestroll and ynplays: you guys haven't seen us together since last year 🤪😅

view comments

📌 lancestroll: yn's still passed out from last night but she wanted me to tell you guys that she will still be streaming tonight

➥ lancestroll: (you didn't hear this from me but she is definitely not going to be able to 🫥)

➥ user41: LMAO tell her to rest well

➥ user42: make sure she drinks lots and lots of water

➥ user43: thank u for the update messenger bf lance!!!

lewishamilton: happy it worked out for you man

➥ lancestroll: me too 😁

➥ user44: ik lewis mad as hell he didn't find yn before lance LMAOO 😭😭😭

twitch: now when are we seeing you two play overcooked on stream?

➥ lancestroll: she gets mad at me in animal crossing so i don't think it'll be in my best interests to play overcooked with her

➥ user45: yeah that game tears marriages apart

nhl: can't wait to see you guys rink side together - admin

➥ user46: nhl admin is one of us

yourfriend1: WHAT A HAPPY NEW YEAR 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

➥ yourbestie: glad to start the year knowing i will NEVER have to sit through another vacation fling ever again

➥ yoursister: well,,,what if i want to find love on vacay?

➥ yourfriend1: NO

➥ yourfriend2: UH UH

➥ yourbestie: H-H-HELL NAW ❌❌❌‼️‼️

user47: i love when soft launches only last for a few days

user48: i saw this and smiled like i had anything to do with them getting together

➥ user49: nodded my head like i know them personally 😌

instagram • ynplays • january 1st • where love grows ⚑

liked by lancestroll, nhl, estebanocon, lewishamilton and 2,582,991 others

ynplays: yeah yeah yeah stream is cancelled tn (my head is about to combust) to make up for it, canada vlog is premiering tonight 💁🏾‍♀️

tagged lancestroll, segagenesisthedawg

view comments

lancestroll: do i get vip on twitch yet?

➥ ynplays: i'll teach you how to mod too

➥ user50: modern day love story 👩🏾‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

➥ user51: discord mod and kitten ts

➥ ynplays: 🤢🤢🤮🤮

lilymhe: i got early access to this video, we are NOT the same xxx

➥ alexandrasaintmleux: i got it too, so we are the same x

➥ user52: damn they really tussling over yn???

➥ user53: can't blame them, i would do the same 💆🏾‍♀️

yourbestie: i feel like i should've gotten more screen time in this vid 🤔

➥ yourfriend1: speak on it bc when she wasn't with lance she was with us being annoying asl🥴

➥ yourfriend2: are we losing the friend group leader to a man? never thought she'd fall so far from grace...

➥ ynplays: friend group leader is CRAZY n y'all just happy to use me for clout huh 😤

yoursister: didn't realize we were returning to clickbait storytime yt era

➥ yoursister: sucks to see how unreletable you've become 😔

➥ ynplays: im going home and stealing ALL my clothes back

➥ yoursister: i misspoke, i apologize for my words *plays ukulele*

➥ user54: believe it or not this is love 🤓

yourmom: lance, thank you for giving my daughter the love and care she deserves x

➥ ynplays: mom this is my post???

➥ lancestroll: of course ma'am. i'll love her tirelessly

➥ ynplays: i'll love you endlessly baby 🥹

user55: HAPPY NEW YEAR YNNNNN

➥ ynplays: thank you my love! i wish you the best year everrrr

➥ user56: happy new year yn stans we up haters stay down

user57: i didn't think we'd get a vlog!!! ilysm ynnnn

➥ user58: best content creator out rn hand down

© httpsserene2024

[ellecdc]

Okok can i overstay your house party by asking for one more???

♧ here for the drinks:

I actually dreamt about this, it was so funny

so basically one of the black brothers is injured and the shy and soft reader is trying to help but she faints when she sees blood😭😭 so then the poor injured guy has to help her and be like bitch no it's my turn to pass out

but also kinda hot coz he's assertive and telling her stay tf awake

i've always loved your comedic fics

it's a weird one but I hope u like it, if not that's okay!!! love u and congratulations once again🩷🩷🩷

-🩷

pink heart emoji, I am almost upset with you that you sent such a funny and cute request as a head canon blurb!!! this would make such a cute fic!! but, since I'm working slowly on fics rn and idk when I'd get to it, here's your head canons <3 also, I'm going with Regulus for this simply because I think it'd be funny to see him be soft/stern

you walk into (what was supposed to be) an empty herbology classroom to find Regulus crumpled over a desk

you make a startled sound, causing him to look over at you though he doesn't straighten up his posture

"Oh, erm, I- I'm sorry...I can...come back later if you're using the room?" he shakes his head quickly at you and looks back down at his lap

"No..you're fine just...mind the cabbages" he says, voice taught as you spot the Chinese Chomping Cabbages rolling their ways back towards their bed of soil

"Are you alright?" you ask cautiously, deigning to head towards him, he makes a grimacing sound

"they got me...the cabbage, that is, I'll be fine but I should probably get to the healer"

when you finally make it to Regulus' workbench, you see why he needs to go to a healer. "oh...oh! oh, uhm, huh, uhm, okay." you sputter, swallowing around your gag reflex and trying to stay upright, leaning your weight heavily on the workbench as your vision starts to blur

"Do you mind passing me my scarf?" he asks, motioning to it with his head as he applies pressure to the wound with the hand of his uninjured arm

you do mind, but you can't very well say that, so you do as asked and hand it to him not without your arm violently shaking

"you alright?" he asks you slowly, making a surprised sound when you sway slightly on your feet "Merlin, y/n, what's your problem?"

you try to mumble something to the effect of "shit I'm sorry" but you're not sure how effective you were when it feels like your mouth is filling with cotton

"oh for Salazar's sake" Regulus mutters, quickly tying his scarf around his arm tightly twice before reaching for his wand and vanishing the blood as best he can, though his white uniform shirt is a lost cause

"okay, we're both going to the infirmary, but you have to stay awake y/n, can you do that?", you think you say yes, but he asks you again. "can you stay awake for me?"

you nod your head because yes you would do that for him, but it was a mistake as you nearly land on your knees, only upright thanks to Regulus' good arm circling around your waist

"Nope. none of that. hey-" he heaves you up further so he can support your weight "no fainting, if anyone's going to faint, it should be me, yeah? come on, stay awake for me"

and for the love of all the gods you do your damned best, keeping your eyes shut and pretending you can't smell the blood on Regulus' person until you make it to the infirmary where he sets you gingerly against a bed, but as you open your eyes and catch sight of him again, you fall unconscious

you wake up to Regulus sitting at your bedside - a fresh jumper sans blood over him and the end of a bandage you can see near his wrist, and he's smirking at you

"why're you still here if you're all fixed up?" you grumble as you sit yourself up, and that only seems to cause his smile to grow. "it'd be terribly rude of me not to thank the person who got me to the infirmary, no?" - "you practically had to drag me here" you argue, only for him to shrug his shoulders. "semantics, anyways, I figured I better walk you to your common room too, you know, just in case"

well didn't he just about walk you everywhere in the castle from that moment forward <3

[whyse7vn]

NOT UR BF? -

[ot7 x reader]

YOONGI -

y/n: if you’re in love with me say 1

yoongi: 24

y/n: 24 divided by 24 is 1

i knew you wanted me

yoongi: you know nothing

y/n: i know many things

yoongi: what did i eat for breakfast?

y/n: toast

yoongi: wtf

y/n: i literally made it for you??

yoongi: you were in my house??

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: leave me alone

y/n: wow you want me so bad

yoongi: ???

when did i say that

y/n: i’m flattered honestly

yoongi: get help

y/n: stop playing

yoongi: i never play

especially with you

y/n: that’s kinda hot tbh

yoongi: ew

y/n: don’t ew me

yoongi: ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew

y/n: i’m upset now

yoongi: good

y/n: yoongiiiiiii :c

yoongi: i do not want you

y/n: you do

yoongi: this is not how it works

y/n: we are in love

yoongi: no we are not

y/n: ur in love with me?

yoongi: yes

y/n: YES?

yoongi: NO

i didn’t mean that

typo

accident

y/n: WOW I ALWAYS KNEW IT

THIS REALLY IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

mark the date down

our anniversary 🥺💗

yoongi: i’m blocking you

y/n: babe :/

yoongi: stop

y/n: baby

yoongi: STOP

y/n: i like a dominant man

yoongi: i’m going to throw up

y/n: i’ll hold ur hair back for you

yoongi: i cut my hair

y/n: ur point?

yoongi: shut the fuck up??

y/n: ur making me blush

yoongi: ??

y/n: ??

yoongi: i’m leaving

y/n: not without me hahaha

yoongi: GO AWAY

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: i believe in us 💗

tae: me 2 go usa!!!

y/n: no like us

tae: no i get you

usa 🇺🇸 🦅🔥🔥❤️

i LOVEEE drake

y/n: he’s from canada

tae: no

y/n: yes

tae: go usa 🔥

y/n: you and me

us

not usa

tae: untied states?

is the us and usa not the same thing??

oh my god

this whole time….

people must think i’m so stupid oh my god

y/n: NO ur right

but i’m talking about US

like YOU taehyung and ME y/n

us

tae: us??

tf is us?

y/n: that’s what i’m trying to figure out

what ARE we??

tae: not american?

y/n: no tae

tae: OMG

HAVE YOU BEEN AMERICAN THIS WHOLE TIME??????

y/n: no LIKE OUR RELATIONSHIP

tae: how am i supposed to know the relationship between korea and america??

i mean it must be good since they let you in the country

right?

y/n: no

tae: IS IT BAD?????

ARE WE AT WAR OR SOMETHING OMG NO WAYYYYY

ig i’m never seeing drake live 😪

y/n: he’s still from canada

tae: i’m not following

y/n: clearly

tae: did i offend you?

yk i LOVE LOVE LOVE american culture guns and drake go lakers!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥

y/n: kim taehyung i want you

tae: ??

to do what???

y/n: like i want you

relationship talk

as in romantically

me and you

i want that

us

tae: so the us is america?

y/n: let america go

tae: do you have truma in america?

is that why you’re in korea now??

wow

i never knew this

it’s crazy

how long have we been friends?(

wow

life is crazy

i’m sorry america did that to you

y/n: wow ur just…

wow

ok

thanks tae

tae: is drake a good person tho?

i mean i know america is bad due to ur truma and stuff but like drake is a good person right??

y/n: i’m going insane

tae: i’m sorry truma is never easy

do you know if drake has a dog maybe we can set up a play date

y/n: i am the dog

woof

tae: wait…

are you flirting with me rn lol

y/n: oh my god

JIMIN -

y/n: ok so

jimin: no thank you ❤️

y/n: if we dated

jimin: again no thank you ❤️

y/n: jimin

jimin: for the last time no thank you ❤️

y/n: i’ll change ur life

jimin: if i wanted to be and alcoholic i would of done so by now

y/n: i would NOT make you and alcoholic

jimin: this conversation is making me reach for the rum

y/n: who tf drinks rum 💀

jimin: me???

y/n: like you go out of ur way to pick rum?

jimin: yeah?

y/n: oh ok

nvm that stuff i said before

jimin: excuse me??

y/n: like the dating stuff

i don’t think we’re a match

jimin: because i drink rum??

y/n: ur just different to what i thought you was…

jimin: because i drink rum?

are you fr…

y/n: we are just two very different people jiminie

i’m sorry

jimin: just to clarify it’s literally just because i drink rum

not that i’m ugly

or anything

y/n: i mean……

jimin: YOU MEAN????

y/n: i think it’s best i go

jimin: you stay right here

y/n: i’m not into like that pls back off

jimin: i’m not ugly

you wanted me 5 minutes go

y/n: feelings change

jimin: in 5 minutes?

y/n: yeah :/

i’m sure you’ll find someone for you!!!

HOSEOK -

y/n: hi

hobi: how tf do you know

y/n: know what??

hobi: that i’m high

y/n: ur high rn?

it’s 8 am

hobi: what

y/n: what

hobi: are you in my walls rn

y/n: could be in ur bed rn

hobi: I HOPE FUCKING NOT OMG

y/n: that’s mean :/

hobi: you know i love you

y/n: oh really 😉?

hobi: from a distance

y/n: um

hobi: so

y/n: come home the kids miss you babe

hobi: WHAT???????????

y/n: ur scaring the girls stop shouting

hobi: i must of been real fucking high to have kids with you lol

y/n: um excuse me i’m right here yk?

hobi: I HAVE NO KIDS

DEFINITELY NOT WITH YOU ANWAYS

y/n: wtf is that supposed to mean

hobi: UR GROSS

YOU MAKE ME WANT TO THROW UP

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

y/n: ur really upsetting me rn

hobi: i’m sorry

y/n: it’s okay… ig

hobi: 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

y/n: STOP

hobi: stop shouting at me slut

y/n: slut??

hobi: wtf you just call me

y/n: ur not in ur right mind rn baby pls sober up and come home

hobi: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

UR SO NASTY

I HATW YOU

STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT

i’m not into you

y/n: really i couldn’t tell

hobi: u must be dumb as fuck

y/n: this is not the sunshine hoseok i know and i love

hobi: i hate you

the thought of you makes me gag

y/n: ur really fucking mean

i’m into it tho

hobi: i’ll never be into you

y/n: pls be my boyfriend

hobi: to be honest i would rather be broke and have no legs

y/n: that’s hot

hobi: LEAVE ME ALONE

NAMJOON -

namjoon: make one more tweet about us being together

and i stg

y/n: thought you were an atheist?

namjoon: stop

y/n: baby

namjoon: we are NOT dating pls

y/n: please what my amazing boyfriend??

namjoon: i can sue you yk?

y/n: ur gonna sue me >.<

little old me joon ��??

namjoon: yes

ur stressing me out

y/n: but ur soooo in love with me right

namjoon: no

y/n: hey be honest

namjoon: i am

y/n: i’m gonna cry

namjoon: no ur not

y/n: okay i’m not

but internally i will

namjoon: that’s fine by me

y/n: ur sick

namjoon: sick and single

wouldn’t want it any other way

y/n: STOP LYING

i could make you a father rn

namjoon: decided parenthood isn’t for me actually

y/n: and when did you decide that

namjoon: just now

y/n: ur making this difficult

namjoon: i am??

that sucks ig you’ll just have to give up

y/n: i am no quitter

you will be mine

namjoon: should i call the police?

y/n: hot

namjoon: i’m going to stop speaking to you now

y/n: can you not feel our connection joon

namjoon: i can feel my hands reaching for the block button

y/n: boo

SEOKJIN -

jin: WHY DID YOU TELL BANG PD WE ARE DATING????

y/n: wanted to see if he would fire you or not lol

jin: WTF IS UR ISSUE

WHAT IF HE DID FIRE ME????

y/n: we could of been like hyuna and dawn

jin: WE ARE NOT TOGETHER

y/n: we could be lol *smirks and winks*

jin: IM GONNA GET YOU FOR DEFORMATION OF CHARACTER FUCK YOU

y/n: i think we soulmates ong

jin: WE ARE ABOUT TO BE FUCKING CELLMATES WHEN I FIND YOU

y/n: you want me so bad omg 🤭

that a promise or a threat babe *winks again*

jin: STOP WINKING AT ME

y/n: never *winks for the third time*

say you want me

jin: ARE YOU OK????

WHY WOULD I EVER SAY THAT

y/n: sometimes YOU are ur biggest enemy jin

stop getting in the way of ur own happiness

jin: I WAS HAPPY UNTIL I MET YOU

y/n: you know who was happy

bang pd when i told him our news 💗

jin: OUR NEWS?????

y/n: 20.05.24 👶🏽🤫

jin: SAY UR LYING

TELL ME UR FUCKING LYING

YOU DID NOT

TELL ME UR LYING RN

TELL ME

y/n: i’m lying

jin: NO UR NOT YOU DID

OFC YOU DID

y/n: did i?

jin: DID YOU??? TELL ME

ARE YOU LYING TELL ME THE TRUTH

DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT TELL HIM YOU WERE PREGNANT WITH MY BABY

y/n: you’ll have to ask him babe

jin: ILL KILL YOU

I WILL

I MEAN IT

y/n: do you love me yes or no

jin: STOP SPEAKING RN STOP STOP STOP

y/n: i hope the baby doesn’t have ur anger issues geez

jin: THERE IS NO BABY THERE IS NO LOVE LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE

y/n: someone’s on his period omg

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: you want me

jk: ?????????????????????

y/n: you want me

jk: yeah

y/n: jungkook

jk: i’m sorry

i don’t like playing hard to get

it just isn’t me

i’m easy

y/n: wow ur just a common whore

jk: yeah :/

y/n: slut

jk: i’ll cum

y/n: ??????

jk: sorry

i’ll be good

y/n: stop

jk: do you want me?

y/n: JUNGKOOK

jk: sorry

i’m sorry

ok i’ll do it right this time i swear

y/n: hi lol

jk: FUCK OFF I HATE YOU I DO NOT WANT YOU GO AWAY BITCH WHORE LEAVE WOOF WOOF ARF WOOFFFFFF

y/n: did you just bark at me???

jk: am i a good boy?

IM SORRY OH MY GOD I WANT YOU SO BAD I CANT PRETEND I DONT PLS STOP MAKING ME DO THIS OH MY GOD

y/n: this isn’t working out

jk: right

let’s just date

y/n: i bet tae would play hard to get for me

jk: NO HE WOULDN’T

y/n: i can see it now

i’m getting all excited >.<

jk: NONONONONONO

y/n: bet he would block me

so i would have to email him

jk: STOP

y/n: my man 💗

jk: why do you want a man that doesn’t want you

y/n: i like a challenge

which you are clearly NOT

jk: that’s fucked up

y/n: are you kink shaming me rn??

but when you barked at me it was ok

men these days…

jk: this is a kink?

y/n: no wtf i’m not a perv??

jk: what

y/n: do you want me?

jk: y/n

y/n: jungkook

jk: no….

y/n: hehhehehehee

jk: this has to be some type of mental illness

y/n: how many kids do you want

jk: none…

y/n: you play sm baby omg 🤭

jk: i’m really upset actually

y/n: need me to hold you?

jk: please

please leave me alone

y/n: wow i’m so in love with you

LAMOSODD SORRY YOU WAITED FOR THIS FLOP OF A PIECE IM SICK AS HELL THIS IS SO UPSETTING I TRIED TO MAKE THIS LIKE A LITTLE DIFFERENT TO THE GF ONE BUT IDK IF THIS IS HITTING THE SAME anways dropping a gc piece along with this to make up for this shit sorry love u

also sorry cuz this feels short as fuck sorry again smh smh

[scoliosisgoblin]

Do you still draw YB content? What do you think of day 4?

yeah I still draw yb, majority of my stuff is yb rn. I just mainly draw a human version of him

I'm not a patron to the creators (I don't fw them) so I can't play the game and have to go off of videos and spoilers, so here's my thoughts so far (SPOILERS OFC):

- love the point and click style they're going for, I enjoy those games a lot so I am biased

- I'm a fan of Peter letting yn walk around and explore things at their own pace. when I'm in a new home or a friend's place, I often need to be left alone to allow myself to settle in and tend to feel smothered if someone's always over my shoulder when exploring etc (it also reminds me of when I got my cats and left them to wonder around on their own)

- what the fuck are windows 🙏🙏🙏

- apparently you both sleep together if you do the kind route??? WHAT WHY. I HATE THAT. PETER IS REALLY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR THAT 💀💀💀 I always thought of him as the type of guy to want his first time to be special tf was that?? (I'm also asexual so obv I'm not exactly looking forward to that type of stuff)

- I find it cute when Peter's working, autism be damned my boy can type!!!

- it's also super cute he gave us the bigger room and kept the small room for himself. also are all the stuff in our room stolen from us or did he buy the same/similar stuff?

- I love Rat, hope she gets more love and attention going on in the game 🙏🙏🙏

- also apparently you get to vaguely see files of pictures he took of you and he refuses to show it to you for some reason? or maybe that's not day 4? idek I hate that, Peter would show it off if anything

- the end of day 4, abusive route, I kinda like that? it's very interesting to me, how he'd do all that. I hate that he make yn nude but what the fuck am I supposed to do about it 🗿

Conclusion: lot of things to love, the writing is still something I'm not a fan of though

[rosypenguins]

🖤DROEY???🩷

*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+

Synopsis: Zoey asks Drew to go see a movie with her and the gay little magenta-man is unable to decipher if it’s supposed to be a date or not.

A/N: Someone said they liked my Drake fics and that single compliment gave me the motivation to finish this hooray!! Anyways this fic takes place in the Jomies’ Sophomore year, and Drew is still contemplating (denying) his feelings for Jake. Also. He’s- he’s an idiot he is the big dumb I am silently screaming as I write this DREW YOU’RE A DUMBASS but anyways Droey backstory hooray healthy Droey!! (Or is it??)

(Contains swearing and a painfully stupid Drew.)

*+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+ *+

Drew: Guys I think I got a date?

Liam: WHAT????

Henry: DHISVSJS HOWWW???

Liam: FYM YOU THINK???

Drew: Idk a girl asked if I wanted to go see a movie with her Friday

Drew: She said she had a spare ticket or smth

Liam: Yeah that’s a date

Drew: Shit

Henry: How’d you get a date before me?;-;

Liam: Which girl is this?

Drew: Zoey, the girl from our Biology class.

Liam: THAT ZOEY???

Henry: THE POPULAR ONE???

Drew: Yeah?

Henry: HOWW???

Drew: Wym how?

Henry: No offense dude but its literally ZOEY

Henry: And it’s you

Drew: Are you saying she’s out of my league?

Liam: Yeah basically

Jake: DREW YOU GOT A DATE???

Liam: About time you responded Jake

Henry: Lol looks like your boys cheating on you Jakeyyyy

Drew: STFU

Jake: Sobbing rn how could you do this to me Drew?? Thought we were homies!!

Drew: I hope you all fucking explode

Liam: TF DID I DO???

Jake: LMAO

Jake: Fr tho congrats on getting a date Drew I hope it goes well

Jake: And if you need any advice just lmk I’m quite the charmer after all lol

Liam: You’ve certainly charmed someone

Drew: LIAM KYS RN

Jake: Wym?

***

With a heavy sigh, Drew set his phone to the side, falling onto his bed and staring up at the ceiling.

So… this was a date.

With Zoey. With pretty, popular Zoey…

…Did he even like Zoey like that? He’d never considered her as anything more than a friend before, but… he did enjoy her company during class, and he did like working on assignments with her. He didn’t mind it when she wrapped her arm around his shoulders, and… she was obviously very pretty.

Maybe he did have a crush. And had just never realized it before….

But Drew could recall a time Jake had been describing his crush. He referred to it as a warm, fluttery feeling. One that made him forget almost all common sense. And Drew couldn’t say that applied to him…

But… he must’ve had a crush on her. Why else would he find her attractive?

Drew buried his face in his hands, muffling a soft groan. It suddenly occurred to him he’d never even been on a date before. Sure, he had past relationships, but those were in Middle School. Those didn’t count.

God, Zoey had probably been on lots of dates before, too. She must’ve had high expectations for him.

Drew sighed, running a hand through his hair before rolling onto his side, thinking back to all those dumb romance movies Jake convinced him to watch. He was hoping they’d finally come in handy and answer at least one of his questions, but he was quick to realize he hadn’t retained any of the plot.

What he could recall, however, was Jake, misty-eyed with a soft blush dusting his face, staring at the TV with the dumbest grin on his face as he watched the main characters kiss for the first time.

…Why was that the only thing he could remember?

***

Friday came a lot sooner than expected, and Drew still wasn’t sure if it was a date or not. He’d gone back and forth about it for days, and eventually, he managed to convince himself that this was just a hangout. Not a date. After all, he could see some truth behind the texts his friends had sent. It was Zoey. And it was him. Why would Zoey want to go on a date with him?

He stood outside of the theater, scrolling aimlessly through his phone and glancing up on occasion to see if Zoey had arrived yet. His mind wouldn’t stop racing.

What if it was all some prank? What if it was a dare her friends set her up to? What if she-

“Drew!”

Drew turned to see Zoey running over to him, and was a little surprised to see she’d changed out of what she’d been wearing to school that day. Instead of her usual green top and jeans, she wore a pale pink dress, with a small golden necklace and simple white flats. It made Drew feel a little awkward, considering he hadn’t bothered to change out of the jacket and jeans he’d been wearing earlier that day.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.” Zoey said, and Drew shrugged.

“Not really.” He answered, despite the fact he waiting about 30 minutes for her to show up. Zoey gave a slight nod in response, and a small smile appeared on her face.

“You ready?” She asked, and Drew nodded, before following her into the theater.

***

The movie Zoey had gotten tickets for was a mystery-thriller; a genre both him and Zoey had talked about in the past. And in all honesty, Drew would’ve found it interesting had it not been for the romantic subplot that did almost nothing to drive the main plot along.

But… he imagined Jake would probably like it a lot. He was a sucker for forbidden romance after all.

About halfway through the movie or so, Drew felt something brush against his hand, and glanced over to see Zoey had placed her hand right beside his.

…He’d seen enough of Jake’s romance movies to know where this was going.

Slowly, Zoey pressed her hand closer to his, resting her pinky over his. Drew blinked, unable to move his gaze. He really didn’t have a clue how to feel about this.

So once again, he thought back to those romance movies, and slowly moved his hand closer to hers.

And eventually, Zoey interlocked their fingers together.

…Zoey’s hand was noticeably smaller than his. And it was a little cold, but it was soft, and… it felt nice to hold.

He still couldn’t say he felt that fluttery feeling, though. Maybe that only affected some people…

Eventually, the movie finished, and with his hand still in her’s, Zoey led the two out of the theater. She rambled on a bit about her thoughts regarding the movie, but… Drew couldn’t focus on her voice, his attention still fixated on the fact he was holding her hand.

He was holding a popular girl’s hand…

Under the shade of the night sky, Drew finally decided to say something. He lifted his gaze to meet her’s, and-

“Was this a date?” He blurted out.

Zoey stopped almost instantly, and blinked as she processed his question.

And not a moment later, she burst out laughing.

“Seriously?! You didn’t realize?!” Drew could feel his face heat up.

“You never specified!” He countered. “I didn’t want to assume anything!”

“Come on, Drew! You’re a guy, I’m a girl, we went to the movies together, alone. That’s a date!”

“You could’ve just said that!” He grumbled, and Zoey turned away from him, covering her smile with the back of her hand.

“You’re so cute.” She whispered, and Drew could only imagine how red his face must’ve been.

“What?!” He could hear Zoey giggle again.

“Nothing, nothing. I… had a really nice time tonight.” She admitted, twirling around to stand in front of him.

And the way she looked beneath the moonlight. The way the light seemed to dance along her skin. The way she looked at him so longingly…

He’d never felt so… wanted before.

“So… would you want to do this again sometime?”

Time seemed to slow for a moment, and there was only one answer Drew could think to give such a perfect girl.

But for a fleeting moment, another blonde crossed his mind.

…

“I’d like that.”

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Harrow The Ninth current progress reading thoughts (pt.2)

Part one | Here

Please no spoilers for beyond chapter 11 of book two, and none for book three please.

Spoilers for HTN and GTN below:

Chapters 7-9 (+prev chapters rambling):

HAHAHA GOD'S NAME IS JOHN AND THE SPOILER I GOT SAID THAT WAS GIDEON'S DAD'S NAME I WAS RIGHT!!!

Also Harrow being disappointment by and internally 'making fun' (as much as Harrow can in the state she's in, the poor thing) of God's name being John is so fucking funny to me. Like, I had the same reaction to the name John and his ownership of it, Harrow. I feel vindicated ty, girly. XD

I fucking love how Moira Quirk voices Harrow btw. I keep doing 'Harrow Voice' around the house now and it is far too fun. Also I miss Gideon give me my bby girl back and don't make her suffer too much!!! (She's gonna suffer so much, isn't she?) She [Moira] slips back into 'Gideon voice' here and there despite it being Harrow's perspective and I don't know if that's intentionallll ohhh my god WAIT I'm so dumb. Is the main section of the book in second person and leading with "you" because it's not just Harrow??? Bc she's a Lyctor and technically not just one person anymore???? Fuck that would make so much sense. Bc when Harrow is having dream/delusion time, it's back in the third-person format of the first book, which would work so perfectly with this train of thought since, in those delusions, Harrow is just Harrow. In a world without Gideon. God, if that's why, that is such a clever use of formatting and makes me appreciate the use of second person. (Which I usually do not like at all. In fact, usually, actively hate XD)

I just got to the part where we find out The Saint of Duty is also named Ortus?! And Harrow promptly passes tf out??? I fucking love this series haha (Which means I've just finished chapter nine as I type this note woop woop!)

I really am just feral for Harrow to open more of her notes and - OH MY GOD RIGHT SHE KISSED IANTHE?! XD I know it was to check that she hadn't cut out her tongue or removed teeth to sever the pact and that she had to be 'discrete' about it (oml) but holy fuck I'm cackling at the memory. I cannot believe Harrow kissed fucking Ianthe triden-fucking-tarius before she kissed Gideon or that stupid creepy ice woman!!! I'm cackling at the absurdity.

Though - I mean, Gideon dying by killing herself to save Harrow (and Camilla), and like literally doing so, to send her soul to live inside of Harrow??? They skipped the U-haul and went to fantasy soul-fused martyrdom XD (I'm using Martyr here even though it's wrong bc I'm typing this at 3 a.m. and I can't think of a better word for this rn - and this series is dripping with religious stuff soooo idc rn (I so do. It is actively bothering me)) (it's now 8 p.m. the following day as I'm editing this and my internal thesaurus is still failing me woops XD)

Why is Ianthe fucking here bro - I don't hate her but I certainly don't like her, and I'm neutral in my experience of not liking her so... IDK Ugh. They're probably going to make me attached at some point and then kill her.

I do like that Ianthe seems to be genuinely worried about Coronabeth's whereabouts. It's nice to see her care for something (someone) other than herself. I know her Cavalier was insufferable, but she killed him with so much coldness! Honestly, I suppose the more I think of her, the more interested that I am. I don't think I fully grasped the reveal that Coronabeth wasn't a necromancer at the end of the last book? Why on earth - metaphorical earth i suppose - why on any planet would your family want you to pretend your twin is also magical? Was it for appearances? Was it to keep her sister safe from their family? She managed to delude everyone into believing it the entirety of book one??? Just how powerful was she before Lyctorhood. How powerful is she now.

She seems to at least have less cognitive resolve than Harrow - if not less power overall - considering Harrow could use theorems in The River... but perhaps that was more Gideon's influence on Harrow's power than her own? They don't seem to be very integrated at the moment - especially with Harrow's falsified memories? But she is a Lyctor so idk. Mercy seemed flabbergasted by it.

I also did want to mention that I liked the detail that Delusional!Harrow was glad her eyes 'hadn't changed much' bc Ortus and her had similar, black ninth-eyes. Why does The Body have Gideon's eyes. Why does the body give her advice. Is Harrow crazy (you know, clinically not just... Harrow XD) or is she truly being haunted?

I'm actually really enjoying having somewhere to sort through some of my jumbled thoughts as I read! Especially with a book series like this that has so many moving parts - many of which I'm sure I've only gotten the barest scrap about - I've probably missed quite a few tbh.

It's fun getting to meet some more of the surviving Lyctors, and it was really interesting to hear about Cytherea a bit from their perspective, and get a bit more of the very ancient timeline sorted.

Bro I've been listening to the audiobooks and I feel like I'm in an Olympic obstacle course looking up all these names while trying to avoid spoilers. I fully expected Cytherea to be spelled Kithrea and Gideon's last name to be Navv and not Nav. etc. etc. Also though Ortus' name was Aughtus - I did not hear that 'r' XD My brain also keeps deciding that Magnus and Abigail are Maximus and Annabeth???? I don't have any clue why. This is what happens when you give a visual learner an audiobook I suppose.

Also did Ianthe kill Silas at the end of the last book when she became a Lyctor? And his Cavalier? I fully lost track of whatever happened to those two. I'm going to have to go back at some point and re-listen to that whole Ianthe section.

Chapter 10:

It was really nice getting to see Magnus and Abigail, even slightly-odd Harrow-skewed dream versions of them.

Magnus's eye's being 'a color that was suddenly hard to define' and asking Harrow "is this really how it happened?" is fucking haunting bro.

Also poor Ortucs, let that poor make-believe baby be a scribe XD It was also interesting how much his agreeableness aggravates Harrow. It's such a nice, jolting ache for her and for us. How hollow and absent her life is without Gideon. How much it lacks color both literal and metaphorical.

Oh. Ohhhh my god, I need to be paying more attention to the 'crazy' notes in the dreams, don't I? Implantation?! Of Gideon mayhaps?

She has a very physical reaction to seeing these notes as well, her eyes 'almost strobing' at the sight of it. Like it's something that does not fit into her carefully-crafted false reality. Something like Gideon. How Gideon or Gideon's soul or essence or whatever would have any idea of things pre-conception, I don't know. But this is all made up, so who's to say, right? I suppose it could have to do with Harrow as well, given dream!Abigail's comments about the soul-price hovering around Harrow. Even if the notes are not quite so literal, I'm sure that they don't mean nothing. Especially because Ortus, the literal manifestation of Harrow's rewriting of events - can't read it, refutes it. Surely they must mean something. Who knows, maybe it's about the girl in the ice.

The fact that Harrow, or at least, falsified-reality-dream-Harrow, has never eaten a potato is absolutely tragic (I type, while eating Gnocchi, feeling quite mocking towards our potato-less girl, despite no intention to.) Though, I wouldn't put it past our Queen of Misery to decide in this falsified reality, to deny herself the existence of potatoes in the Ninth. Just to make herself that much more miserable XD

Also LOL to even dream Ortucs being like "Bro I'm so glad this wasn't what I ended up to be" like, poor dead mama's boy. I actually feel kind of bad for him. Born in the wrong house to the wrong family at the wrong point in time, huh? Sorry your ship blew up, pookie. But like, also maybe try zoloft or vitamin D, babes, you're really bringing down the vibe - and like, the vibe is quite literally dead with all this necromancy so... that is really saying something sweetie. XD

I've wondered a couple times if the woman in the ice has anything to do with Gideon specifically, like being her mother - bc there's technically no proof thus far (to my memory) that the dead woman who carried Gideon in the life-support container was actually her mom. Wasn't Gideon only an hour old when found? All of this is so funky. I'm thinking so many things you guys sshashohaowihaoij Could the woman who brought Gideon to the Ninth have been taking her 'back to her mother' if there were time-shinnanigan things? Like if she was born or stillborn ages ago - or removed from the woman in the ice w/o really being born and god put her into the resurrection sleep or or or. I really just don't know. Fuck, I'm so curious. Idk I feel like I'm grapsing at straws here, but I was right about God being her dad and that felt just as insane at the time XD Also, fr though, WTF is god? Like, tell me.

Chapter 11:

HA - hahaha XD Ohh my god. Gideon saw Cythrea's dead body from Harrow's eyes and went "fuck you, bitch, die again.", huh? XD Not Harrow using the sword in her blackout even though they're not fully integrated. You cannot convince me that wasn't our precious Gideon being so very herself lmao

I wonder if it's Gideon like... directly, or if it's more of an echo of her final purpose in regards to her sacrifice? I imagine Harrow blacking out around that whole section is bc she's not integrated with Gideon (and can't even let herself remember the reality of her LMAO)

ONTO ACT TWO!!! WOOP WOOP!

[obsidianpen]

You know who I miss in hp that no one really remembers? Firenze even it the books we didn't get to see what happened to him after fifth year and honestly the centaurs were such an interesting addition who played semi-important roles in both fifth year (fucking um bitch got the karma+big brother Hagrid ) AND ANDD in the final battle after all hell breaks lose! I wanna know both in NG and in Incendiary, will we get to see more of them? it was in the final battle where centaurs join in and really light that spark needed for harry to escape but NG cuts off the final battle, so what happened to them? Just waiting in the forest? Looking at the stars and thinking this was not supposed to happen? Or did they know what was gonna happen and unlike canon did not even go there? Also this got me thinking...what's Voldemort stance on magical creatures ? Werewolfs were/are? his allies? but what about others like goblins or centaurs or Giants? is that gonna come up soon? honestly Harry is so cut off from the whole world rn we have no idea what Mr.V has done so far... erasing emotions is scary and not something that I feel likes is just gonna sit in the corner of the plot like a good lil boi so many ppl we haven't seen yet or only heard about them from others... McGonagall, shacklebolt, Arthur! bill, charlie, Fleur, TEDDY AND ANDROMEDA!!! Dean and wait is Lavender Alive? You saved Fred but like is Lavander dead dead? if so where tf is Grayback? cuz Harry aint gonna be happy with that... also poor Neville's funeral (Im the same anon who read hauntingly before it was even finished via some pdf at 4 a.m and cried so much when writing that post lol idk if you remember XD) and I forgot to ask you! how do you feel about us reading some of your deleted works via pdfs? I do not know whether to feel guilt or joy ? (anyway what happened was that I still can't read hauntingly past that chapter...and I was so so sooo mad at Snape and Neville, I detested them from the bottom of my heart so bad that I had to re-read both Nevilles death in NG and Snapes canon death for 3 days straight just to calm down a bit lmao) anyway I wonder what will her grandmothers reaction be to Harry explaining what happend

( I feel like I wrote a huge pile of messy stuff thrown together sorryyy :<)

Firenze!!! I hadn’t thought about him a ton either tbh but I will now! about the old pdfs - eh, I guess I’ve made peace knowing that it happens and there’s nothing I can do about it 🥲 like I dont love it but it’s all right, I am very neutral about it now