#HOW JACK IS WRITTEN IS EXACTLY HOW I NEED HIM LIKE THATS MY BOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tetsuotsutsumishusband]

HI HIIIIIIII HAPPY NIGHTMARE IS THE ONLY THING ALLOWED IN MY KRAUSER LOVING HOUSEHOLD

[thematthewscrew]

“Oh how funny😂😂 what was the prank??-Shelby”

Just to give you a bit of context, one of the boys bestfriends dad is also a coach for their football team. The kids mom doesn’t like me because way back when the kids were in kindergarten, his dad, asked me out not realizing I was married. Now Chase and him are good friends and everything is in the past. Sometimes we got out for dinners and he comes to all our parties with his kids. So today, Chase was being kind of short at the meeting so our friend Jack asked me is I wanted to mess with him a little. So right in front of C, he asked me “Hey Eve. I wanted to go over a couple protocols with you and talk about the fundraiser. I know a really nice spot downtown. It’s got really good appetizers we can share, a great wine menu and their patio overlooks the water. What do you say? Just you, me, and some wine.” The side eye Chase gave him was wild. Before I could respond, Chase was saying we can do that there at the meeting. Thats what it’s for and that he knows exactly what he’s doing. C genuinely believed Jack was asking me out 😂 then Jack said “Chase if you feel left out and want to tag along, the address is written on the ceiling” then he started laughing. I know it doesn’t sound that funny but in the moment I was holding in the laughter from Chase’s pissed off faces.

🤣🤣-Colin

Well first that mom needs to get a grip two oh my gosh Chases face🤣 I'm glad you got him because he pranks so many of us over the years😂-Shelby

@mayabrazton

[2xplusungood]

Im glad Metal Gear Rising is regaining popularity cuz its one of my favorite games of all time. Not just the gameplay or the music, but theres some phenomenally written characters underneath what seems to be a dumb action game, even if they are cheesy as hell in their deliver, and it even goes as far as to use the music to perfectly sum up each boss

First you have Bladewolf. He’s a newly created AI construct who desires to be free from his programming becuase he knows full well that he’s capable of being more than just a simple murder robot, but he’s long since resigned being anything but due to the fact that the leash holding him was too strong for him to break so there was no real point in actually putting his vast intellect to any use other than what his masters wanted him to do. His theme stands out that “I’m my own master now” doesn’t reflect who he is during the fight but what he’d eventually become after finally gaining his independence. 

 Next up is Mistral. Earlier in her life she found she had a knack for combat but slowly she would come to realize that fighting for the sake of fighting is a hollow life. Which made her the perfect person to be recruited by The Desperados. Now I might be reaching a little, but I personally believe that given how little she actually talks about the aims of The Desperados, she doesn’t really care what that cause is, simply that she has SOMETHING to fight for, as well as a group of people who support her violent tendancies and bloodlust, which is sometimes all a radical cause needs to have: Just a place you feel like you can belong.

Then you have Monsoon. If you take a moment to stop giggling over how many times he says the word “meme” (Which out of context is fucking hilarious) His belief system becomes clear: People are nothing more than a product of their experiences and to fight against it is to fight against a raging storm (Which is what his song is about, the past never truly leaving you) And in the context of MGR, he’s right. Raiden will always be Jack The Ripper. However the flaw in his logic, which Raiden is able to demonstrate, is that the memes that have been passed down to you will always affect you, but they don’t define you. Raiden may, on some level crave bloodshed, but that doesn’t mean he can’t strive for the ideals he always has, and what defines the “Strong” and the “Weak” will differ depending on your personal ideals.

NEXT YOU HAVE SUNDOWNER. Oh boy this fucking smug ass bastard motherfucker. Remember when I said this game was full of deeply written characters? Well he is NOT one of them and by the omnissiah does it fucking work for him. He is 100% pure unadulterated, concentrated, moustache twirling EVIL. His whole ass philosophy can be boiled down to “People suck, so why not suck the most?” But I put it to you thats what makes him a brilliant character in the context of a game like MGR. He’s exactly the tool you’d want to be the mastermind behind all the dirty work you want to pretend is justified. You want a warcrime done, this is the man who will happily do it without a second of hesitation. He’s evil but he’s an instrumental tool to something much bigger than him

Sam. Samuel “Jetstream” Fuckin’ Rodriguez.  Not only is this a man who carries an entire fucking bakery of pure 100% non-cyborg cake and can go toe to toe with the latest cyborg enhancements money can by using only THESE HANDS, much less his GUNSWORD, he is the perfect foil to Raiden. He represents a path Raiden could become. He was once exactly like Raiden, fighting to protect the weak until he was essentially beaten into submission. He’s a hollow shell of who he once was, having cast aside his ideals as futile. All he can do now is fight, regardless of what he’s fighting for.

Lastly, Senator Armstrong. This man is the perfect antagonist. This is a man who’s never really known true hardship yet he still feels the need to call anyone who doesn’t make it in this world “Weak” Just take the fact he went to a university, likely on a football scholarship. He acts as if joining the Navy is a big accomplishment, but he never saw combat and was likely an officer due his degree. (Also hella doubt the whole “Coulda gone pro” bullshit, considering the amount of people who say the exact shame shit in the Miltary) After getting elected to senate, he cut the budget of the Denver police so that the company HE RAN could take over law enforcement. 

Now given the game’s focus on the idea of memetics, what exact memes would have him justifiably having these beliefs that America is diseased? Nothing. If anything America is diseased BECUASE of people like him.At the end of the day, he simply finds that what he has been given is not enough, that those in power should be able to exercise it to the fullest, obtaining a sort of peace through fascist oppression of the “weak”  and the end of war as a business is simply a convenient excuse. To him the wars are pointless simply due to the fact America could be powerful enough to wipe out its enemies if they didn’t have to pretend about civilian casualties

But here in lies the core message of Metal Gear Rising, in my opinion: Politics is fucking messy. Ideals are messy. There is no system of belief out there that cannot be undermined in some way. However, that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth fighting for. Both Raiden and Armstrong were two individuals fighting for what they believed in, regardless of the cost or the flaws in their core values.  Armstrong lived and died by the concept of “Might makes right” and Raiden will continue to live and die to protect those who can’t protect themselves, regardless of the atrocities that Armstrong has to commit, or the amount of bodies that Raiden cuts to chicken nuggets. Hence “Standing here, I realize you were just like me trying to make history, but who’s to judge the right from wrong and when our guard is down I think we’ll both agree: Violence breeds violence but in the end it has to be this way”

Also a final note on a cool detail people tend to miss: During the Jetstream Sam fight, if you knock Muramasa from his hand, the vocals of The Only Thing I Know for Real will fade out until he picks it back up. The same thing happens to It Has to Be This Way if Armstrong knocks Muramasa from Raiden’s hands. 

Oh and also “I used to think my sword was a tool of justice, not to be used in anger. But now Im not so sure. And besides: This isn’t my sword” is just a cool ass line and Raiden is an adorable edgyboi

[katkit14]

First year's reaction to an mc with type 1 diabetes

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Hello there! I have literally never ever written headcanons before so I hope this isn't terrible. This time it's platonic maybe I'll make an s/o version later on. I hope you enjoy!

Platonic

gender neutral reader

Warnings: very little swearing!

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Ace

Thinks it's the same as type 2

Good luck trying to explain it

Tries to tease you about not being able to eat sweets until you explain you can and that sweets can they can save your life if your having a low

Tries to get you to give some of your snacks and sweets to him

Can and will slap any bruises you get from dosing or slap the old cgm sites when you change the sensor out (if you use that)

Doesn't really mind helping with sqeezing your arm for you when you dose ( if you don't use a pump) and geting you snacks if your blood sugar is low but won't help you with anything else

Doesn't admit it but a little scared of the needles

Does get into fights if someone harasses you

--------------------------------------------------

Deuce

"What's that?"

Confused

Doesn't understand what diabetes really is

You have to explain it a few times before he gets it and keep reminding him

Once he understands he tries his best to help if you need him. He isn't very helpful but he tries. He gets panicky when it comes to needles, though he can help you change your sensor for a cgm...thats about it.

he freaks out when you have a high or low so not much help there. He might be able to find a sugary snack or something though

Does try to help though and will help stop bleeding from doses ( if you use pens)

At least he's trying

Don't trust him with your snacks, they might go missing cause he might or might not have lost them by accident

Also gets into fights when someone harrases you

--------------------------------------------------

Jack

doesn't fully understand but is still pretty helpful

He's the most helpful! Your blood sugar low? Just ask, hell probably go get you any type of snack you need before you ask. Need help sqeezing your arm? Best person to ask! Need help changing something out? Once he learns how to he's willing to help!

Might grumble about it and act as if he doesn't really care but he does

Also thanks to his wolf senses he's able to tell you if your having a high or low before you know or before your cgm can warn you ( if you use that)

Also slightly scared of needles but won't ever admit it

Can trust him with your snacks

Won't really pick fights with people who harass you but will scare them off and try to comfort you but in his kinda tsundere way

--------------------------------------------------

Epel

"Oh, my grandma has that"

Like Ace, also thinks it's like type 2

You will have to explain it a couple times before he understands it's not like type 2

Gets it quicker then Deuce though

Is helpful but not as helpful as jack

Will help squeeze your arm for dosing ( if you use the pens) and go get you snacks if you ask him but other then that not really helpful at all. You can trust him to hold stuff for you though, like help carry snacks and sweets to keep them from Ace and Grim

Doesn't get panicked about needles tho or blood at all and he will tell you if you are bleeding but won't help stop the bleeding

Kinda like your blood your problem

Can and will pick a fight with someone...anyone who harasses you about your diabetes. Will cause a scene and go feral gremlin.

Uses you as an excuse to get out of Vils orders

--------------------------------------------------

Sebek

Good luck trying to explain 2.0

He is so lost

Goes on and on about how pathetic humans are

Gets mad if you choose to remind him of the fact he's half human

Asks Lilia

Lilia who knows exactly what both type 2 and type 1 diabetes is convinces him it's a bone in the arm that produces calcium

Now he's even more confused

Poor boy gets even more confused if you join in on lilias little joke

Lilia eventually tells him the truth but both you had fun for a bit with it

No help at all from him at all and one of few who gets visblely panicked when needles come out or when he sees blood and will yell at you to clean it up

Tries to help by yelling at you when your cgm beeps ( if you use that) or when your meter reads something low like you don't already know that and will go get you a Snack if you tell him what to get

Also don't trust him with the snacks cause he will be tricked by Ace or Grim

A for effort though

Won't engage in a psychical fight but will yell at people if they harass you

----------------------------------------------

Grim

Also have to explain several times and remind him

Still confused

At this point it's okay to give up trying to explain

Never ever trust this little shit with your stuff especially not food

Tries to steal snacks often and will eat your sweets while your not looking

Also tries to steal food from you in general

Will be able to tell you when your blood sugar is to high and low but other then that wont help one single bit ( I mean what can he really do lol)

Gets visiblely paniked from needles but not the blood. he won't tell you if your bleeding after dosing though ( if you use the pens)

Sometimes forgets your diabetic

Freaks out about your cgm metor or phone beeping at you( if you use one) especially in the middle of the night

He will pick fights with those who harrass you though cause he (will take any opportunity to show his " amazing " magical powers ) cares

--------------------------------------------------

[hobihobihoe]

Unruly - Part one

Obey me! + Mafia BTS + 0T7 au x reader                                                                

2.5k ish 

Warnings : 18+ slowwww burn ~ eventual smut ~ descriptions of blood and violence ~ cliche city ~ alsooo uhh if you care about grammar this is not 4 U cause imma dumb bitch <3

Andd ahh this is the first thing i’ve ever written so its probably kinda shit.. :)

Great. Just great. Why did you agree to this again? Oh yeah because you’re a good person, or at least you’re trying to be. You’d just agreed to cover Rosies shift, apparently she was sick, but what you hadn't taken into account when you’d agreed to work was that Rosie had been booked to a private venue, well I guess now you had been booked to a private venue. You hated working private venues, as a bartender people would sometimes assume you provided the drinks or that because you weren't working at your company bar you would join in with shots or maybe give them a discount as you were a lone ranger incharge of yourself and providing alcohol for the night. One thing a private venue did mean though was money, getting paid nearly twice the amount you usually did as well as hopefully generous tips from wealthy clients. But still you weren’t quite sure three times the work was worth only double the pay, but well… fuck it you’ve gotta be a good friend/colleague and well person to Rosie so you just have to suck it up.

Thankfully it was a Saturday night so you didn't have to work it after being at university all day. So you bid farewell to the library you had been pretending to study at and headed home to get changed into something more presentable because a hoodie three times your size and leggings covered in dorito dust probably wouldn't fly at this kind of event.

As you opened the door you heard the crocky meows of your little baby, Zuki. He was an all black rescue cat that you'd adopted two years ago, when you’d started university, as a companion and partly because as soon as you saw his cute little face you were screwed and had to bring him home. You bent down to stroke his head and scratch behind his ear just the way he likes, which results in him vibrating with loud purrs that soften your heart. “Okay baby I love you but I gotta go get ready” Zuki looks at you with annoyance now that you've cut his pampering session short, he's such a spoiled little brat you think to yourself, but as he follows you into your bedroom with his tail high in the air and a slight sway in his steps you can't bring yourself to care. He is just too damn cute.

Now donned in your crisp white shirt and black dress pants you tame your hair enough so that it resembles a neatish bun, you say goodbye to your fur baby and head off to your car on your way to hopefully a nice paycheque.

When you arrive you're greeted by Jae. He leads you to the bar and tells you to ask him if there's anything you need. Okay so far so good, you've just gotta make yourself familiar with any specialised drinks on the menu and the rest should be smooth sailing. About 10 minutes after you arrive a large group of men appear, they sit down on two separate sides of the long table that takes up most of the room, they then send two men from each group respectively your way. Game time you think, the man that reaches the bar first is sweating noticeably, his black hair sticking to the front of his forehead matting the hair that it encompases. “sweetheart get me 6 doubles of gentleman jack over ice and 2 dry martinis”, you smile at him, so thankful that you wouldn't have to make any cocktails. They were time consuming and required a lot of faf essentially and a lot of cleaning up, “of course sir” you say as you smile at him, he barely acknowledges you as he goes to sit at one of the stools that lined the bar. As you get to making his drinks you hear the clearing of someone's throat, you look up and realise it was the other man that you had been coming over. You nearly choke on your spit at the sight of him. His pastel pink hair is delicately framing his cherub-like face, “Miss?”, oh shit you’d zoned out, “Oh i'm so sorry I missed what you said completely '' you admitted shly, he just gave a cute little chuckle. “ Its okay angel” you started to blush at the use of such an affectionate nickname “I asked if I could have 6 manhattans and a sex on the beach” great fucking coacktails you signed internaly, “Of course sir” that earned a smirk from him, you were just being professional, shit professional you had to remind yourself to focus on making the drinks as your traitorous eyes kept lingering in the area surrounding him.

As you finish preparing each individual drink you place them on the bar so the men can take them to booths. Just as you were setting down the final cocktail you brush fingers with the pink haired man, “oh... um” you say prepared to give him an apology but as you look up and meet his eyes you seem to lose your ability to form any kind of cohesive sentence “Jimin, angel, my names Jimin” he states  “oh uh, Jimin I hope you enjoy your drinks'' you feel like a pathetic teenager again unable to talk to the pretty boy at the party. “I'm sure I will angel” he throws over his shoulder as he walks back to the group of men he’d emerged from, what was it with him saying that nickname that just made you giddy. God I really need to get out more you thought, maybe you could go out tomorrow as you wouldn't be working since you covered rosies shift, maybe then you could get some real action and should hopefully suasiate you for a bit. Ugh it's like Jimin had awoken something within you, which usually you’d be interested to explore, but considering that you were at work you were gonna just have to put his beautiful face to the back of your mind for when you got home later and could relax properly. Zesh should you feel creepy? No its not your fault that what was practically sex on legs was going about all unobtainable, thats what your imagination and your trusty vibrator were for anyway.

An hour later and you've made exactly three more drinks, wow, maybe if you stare at the champagne flute for another 10 minutes you'll unlock its secrets and it will be more interesting. Just as you were debating wiping down the bar for the hundredth time you hear chairs being pulled out and moved loudly. You look up to see that both groups of men which were previously amicably sat at the table now have guns aimed at each other. You freeze. You haven't ever seen a gun in person before and there must be well over ten now all presumably aimed and ready to fire. You dunk under the bar as you hear yelling start. You weren't able to focus on what was being said by the men, too busy trying to focus on controlling your breathing. Fuck. that sounded like a gun shot. And then another. You've lost track of how many shots you've heard, lots is the amount you settle on, maybe if you just stay behind the bar and stay quiet they'll forget you’re there and leave you alone. There is a long silence in the room, you try your best to mimic it when you notice the movement in one of the wine glasses that are stacked up behind the bar. Someone pushes the staff entrance to the bar open and strides towards you, gun in his right hand. You start to push yourself backward but are soon met with the edge of the bar, the man is dressed in all red and if it weren't for the specks of blood covering his face you would consider him unbelievably attractive. You seem to have been consumed by these thoughts because you suddenly come back into your physical reality, met with a gun now pointed only inches away from your face. You search his eyes for any kind of mercy or empathy you could try to appeal to, what shocks you is you only see a smoldering fire. You see his finger move on the trigger and close your eyes, you don't want the last thing you see to be a stranger. Just as you were going to try to think of pleasant things and the ones you cheriouish you hear a voice. “Hobi stop” Jimin said rather nonchalantly given your current situation, “Chim just let me tie up this loose end then we can get going” the other man, you guess Hobi? Sneered. Wow he just thought of killing you as an inconvenience, what a dick. “Hobi I think we could use her for something else” “what?” Hobi questioned sternly “well even Yoongi mentioned how good his drink was and we always have to get a new bartender every meeting and it would be easier if we had one who knew who we were so when this kind of shit happens again we haven't got any loose ends” Jimin points out. Hobi seems to consider this for a minute before he moves away in a different direction to Jimin, you try to follow his eye line but because of your placement on the floor you can’t see over the bar. “Joon, obviously the call is yours to make” Hobi announces. “It does seem to be a practical suggestion and Jimin must have taken a liking to her if he stopped you, so I don't see why not” the ominous voice declared. After a second of those words sinking in you realise that they have just decided to take you with them, to take you captive.

You start to shake, turning your head to meet Jimin's eye “no uh..um.no please don't take me” you sniffle “I promise I never saw anything, I won't say anything p-please just let me go home” you can barley make out your own words as they are effectively smothered by your tears and your small gasps for breath as you aren't able to regulate your breathing. Jimin elegantly slides over the bar and bends down to your height “Angel don't be so silly, you're coming with us. You should really be thanking me” he gives you a small wink. That causes a fresh wave of panic to settle over you, you know there's a fire exit further down in the bar hidden within the sinks and stock area, with the spike of adrenaline you start to run towards the exit. It looks like it's going well until you hear a loud bang, then the feeling of the side of your head being hit registers, lastly you notice your eyesight unfocusing before darkness seems to override and then suddenly, nothing.

~JIMINS POV~

“Yoongi was that really necessary?” Jimin akses with a slight frown on his face. The older man shrugs “someone had to do something” Jimin sighs and looks at Jungkook, “it will be easier if you carry her.”

~YOUR POV~

When you open your eyes again you see white, adjusting slightly, you realise your laying on a bed. You sit up and look around the room. There are 5 other beds that you can see, they are all small single beds with a chest at the end of each. You look over your surroundings for a few minutes before you remember the circumstances leading up to you being here. You touch the back of your head and wince when your fingers meet a small swollen bump. You decided you should probably try and leave, poor Zuki is probably waiting for you to fill his food bowl. Wow, you realise in this situation you think of your cat's mortality more than your own, well you guess that's what your life has amounted to. Just as you stand up the door opens. “Oh you're awake now” You look over to see the small older woman who was speaking “Umm.. where am i?” The lady gives you a small smile “You're in the maids room sweetie.” Great that's cleared up nothing, you think bitterly. “Can I talk to whoever's in charge? Please?” You think this is probably your best bet, explain to them that you just want to go hope and hopefully they'll be humane enough to agree with that. “Yes, he wanted me to come and get you anyway” She states as she turns around walking away from the doorway, you start to follow her. As you continue walking through the hallways and up the stairs of this seemingly huge mansion you notice several men standing guard with guns rested in their hands, ready at all times. You start to wonder if maybe your idea is ridiculous as you realise wherever you are and whatever you have gotten yourself involved in may be larger than the small group of men you'd seen at the bar. Your worrying is cut short as the women raises her hand and knocks at a door you have stopped outside off, a short “Come in” is what is answered from the other side of the door, the older women looks to you, “You should go in alone, i'll be waiting for you here” You look at her and then to the door “Uh... thank you?” You’re not really sure what the appropriate response is in this situation but you don't want to be rude, she gives you a short nod and smile.

Once you open the door you're faced with one of the men you'd seen before. He regards you with a very slight smile before he gestures to a chair placed in front of the desk he is sitting behind, you walk over to sit at the chair before you look at him directly. You aren't sure if the bang to the head you had received had caused temporary delusions, but as you look at him you swear you see light radiating out of him. You meet his eyes for a second before you decide they are too intimidating and look away, “You wanted to see me?” you ask meekly, deciding to for now abandon your plea for freedom. “Yes, I did, i'm not sure if you remember why we brought you here so i’ll just go over your role again” he starts “You’re going to be working as our personal bartender, this means you will joins us on outings that we deem appropriate and also make our drinks whilst we are here, at the base” he then moves his face into your eye line so that he can make eye contact “And in return of your services we’ll let you live” he finishes his small speech with a slight smile, as if he had just offered you a job and you weren't being threatened and held captive in this place. You take a few minutes to think over what he had just said, you come to the conclusion that for now faking compliance is probably the safest thing you can do until you are able to find a window to escape. “Who do you mean when you say we?” you enquire, you weren't sure if you should be questioning the leader of this organisation?, but your curiosity had won over any of the other responses you considered.

[troop52]

do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?

THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!

Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks

I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard) Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()

Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.

Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?

The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.

Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you

Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.

Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)

Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...

MAX + The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man... + Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing" + Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me

EEF + The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in. + Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too + Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.

KENT + Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks. + I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo + Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)

NEWT + I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess + Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how" + On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him

SHEL + Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found" + Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something + Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden

If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)

[olivyh]

Into Wonderland Chapter Three: Octavinelle Part Two

"Floyd." Jade instructs. Floyd finally lets go of Mc, letting them breathe for the first time since they'd woken up. He stifles his laughs and lightly pushes the bottom of the boat with his back, causing it to topple over. Two figures splash into the water and Mc can recognize them as Deuce and Rielle.

"He-" A cold hand is clasped over their mouth before they can say much else, and they look over to see Jade holding a finger up to his lips, pursed into a tense smile. The figures struggle to get back onto the boat, with not much help from Floyd swimming in circles around them and scratching at their ankles and yanking at their clothes. They finally get going back to shore, the twins smiling at one another knowingly.

"What did you do that for?" Mc asks as they start to swim back to the cave they were in before.

"Because if the little guppy wants to be human forever and get his voice back he has to kiss the princey~!"

"And we can't let that happen," Jade further explains.

"Why? If it makes him happy-"

"It's not that." Another voice calls from the cave. Mc freezes, searching around for the source of the unknown voice. They see something creep around the corner of the rock, pulling an unknown figure out of the shadows. The man has silvery hair that floats around him and sharp icy blue eyes that contrasted his grey skin that was speckled with black and dark grey freckles. Mc stares as he goes further into the light of the cave, revealing eight long tentacles that let the man creep over the rocks.

"Cecaelia-" They remember Rielle mentioning. The man holds himself high, but seems to shrink under the humans gaze.

"My apologies, I should introduce myself," The man creeps towards Mc, bowing lightly before extending his hand. "I'm Azul Ashengrotto."

"M-Mc-" They stammer, taken back by the difference between him and the twins. The twins made no effort to try to hide their mischievous natures, but Azul seemed to maintain a calm, welcoming aura.

It sent a chill down their spine thinking that he was the one who had taken their legs while they were half dead, and the man who gave Rielle legs, at the cost of his voice, then proceeded to sabotage his chances at living on the surface.

The man purses his lips and lets his hand fall to his side, offering another smile towards the human. "I see you're used to your new tail."

They nod. "I've been trying."

"They smacked me n' Jade with it n' ran into the ceiling-" Floyd interrupts, breaking into laughter.

"I should have known you two would have done something like that," Azul sighs. "I'm terribly sorry for any trouble they've caused due to their..." He pauses. "Sadistic streak."

"It's fine..." Mc mumbles. "So uhh... what did you mean before?"

"Hm?" The silver haired man hums.

"When you said that... 'it's not that'. What do you mean by that?"

"You..." The man seems taken back. "You were a human, right?" He mutters under his breath.

"Y-yes... I came from..." They pause. Where did they come from? What was their home before Wonderland? And the Afterglow Savanah? Did they even have a home? A family?

"Poor thing..." Jade says, not displaying the pity he's trying to get across at all.

"Are ya dumb?" Floy, blunt as always, asks.

"N-no it's just-"

"Amnesia perhaps?" Jade suggests, circling to their side. They hesitate and nod.

"M-maybe-"

"That's quite upsetting..." The calm eel nods.

"Back to my main point-" Mc tries to shake their head clear of their sadness and go back to confronting the octopus. "What did you mean then?"

"Humans here actively hunt mers. Thats why we need to stop Prince Rielle from getting anywhere near them." Azul knits his eyebrows and shakes his head, slinking across the floor with the other three close behind.

"What do you mean...?" Mc whispers.

"They sell our fins as jewelry, keep some mer as pets to entertain them-"

"And eat us." Floyd interrupts, a scowl written across his face. "Almost happened to me n' Jade when we were kids."

"Why?!" Mc exclaims.

"They believe that mer have exceptional magic, and by eating us they can inherit some of it." Azul sighs, visibly shivering.

"So you think that when Deuce finds out that Rielle is a human he'll-"

"Eat him, yes." The octomer finishes. Clearing his throat, he swims over to a wall full of scrolls. "That's why we have to stop him from getting close to him. We've seen many people from our hometown fall victim to power hungry humans."

"I'm sure you're aware of how close we live to the shoreline, yes?" Jade adds. Mc nods solemnly, guilt eating away at their heart.

Does that mean Ace and Deuce have eaten mer? They think, head starting to spin. They must be swaying a bit because Jade grabs their forearm to keep them steady.

"...My apologies." Azul looks at them sympathetically. "I suppose this must be a lot to hear considering that you don't remember much."

"I-it's fine-" They stutter. "I asked anyways."

"So I hope you see now why we have to sabotage them as much as possible." Jade nods in their direction. They gulp and nod back. "So this is exactly why we need your help in the next plan, considering everything we've done so far has put a stop in our plans."

"What do I-?"

"You need to marry Prince Deuce."

They choke, punching their chest a few times to get their breathing back to normal. "I have to what?!"

Floyd rolls his eyes. "It'll be easy~! Zul stole the

princey's voice that he used to woo the other princey when he saved him, he gives it to you, you woo him, you pretend to get married until the contract with the guppy expires, then you come back here and we give you back your legs!"

Mc stares, jaw slack at the long explanation. Jade chuckles next to them.

"Brilliant explanation, Floyd."

"Thanks!" The rambunctious eel chirps. Mc gulps as Azul lightly hands them a glowing orb that pulses in their palms.

"I don't have to actually get married, right?" They ask. The silver haired man nods. He lightly raised it to their chest and pushes in, watching it disappear into their sternum. They gasp a bit, taken back by the cold that bursts out from the area, before realizing that the water they'd been breathing in fine before was suddenly suffocating.

They choke and try to hold their breath, suddenly grabbed by a pair of strong arms and rushed to the surface. They take in a gulp of air, coughing up water on the eel's shoulder.

"Gross-" Floyd pushes them off him, making them struggle to stay afloat for a bit. They're scooped up by Jade, who helps carry them to the shoreline. They see Azul close behind, a little slower due to his tentacles not making him the fastest swimmer.

They get to the shore and are thrown some raggedy clothes, realizing that when they were a mer they had no need for them, but now they sort of had to wear them again. They slip the clothes on behind a rock and stand on the shore, rehearsing the plans with the mers that floated nearby.

"Just marry him by sundown tomorrow! Azul already handled getting him close enough to you!" Jade calls out. They wish them lick and swim back under the surface, disappearing under the waves.

"Okay-" They huff. "Here goes nothing..." They take a gasp and start humming, nervous at first. They then start singing softly, feeling dumb about the whole plan. They huff and decide to cut it short.

"W-wait!" A familiar voice calls from a balcony that hangs over the rocks. That was there the whole time?! They think, embarrassment making their face flush. How did they not hear Jade yelling earlier? "Please don't stop singing! I know you!" Footsteps slipping down the rocks greet them as their hands are grabbed and held close to the boy's chest. He beams down at them, sending a pang of guilt to their heart.

"You saved me, that day," He whispers breathlessly, bright green eyes gleaming. "It was you."

Mc can only allow themselves to be dragged back to the castle, listening to the boy's lovestruck speech and rants until they find themselves at the end of a long aisle lined with benches full of expecting nobles, and a beaming Deuce standing at the end. Shuffling in their wedding attire, they walk up the aisle, ignoring Jack's whimpers for them to stop.

"I'm sorry," They whisper, to Jack or Deuce, they don't know. "I have to save Rielle-"

The ship suddenly rocks and sways as something hits the side. They slip and tumble as it threatens to tip.

"A rogue wave?!" They hear a few guests yelp in a panic, holding on to their benches for dear life. Deuce slips and narrowly avoids falling off the edge by Ace grabbing his arm. Mc stumbles off the side, with Jack's futile attempt at biting their sleeve to keep them up failing miserably as they plummet to the sea. They let out a screech as they hit the water, back stinging as they hiss and take in water. A glass bottle is pressed to their mouth and they're forced to drink the substance inside, feeling their legs form together into a long tail once more.

"It's okay," Azul takes the bottle away from their mouth and lets them breathe. He holds them underneath their arms, allowing them to get a sense of their surroundings. "You're okay. You're fine." His voice shakes as another angry roar rips itself from deeper within the sea.

"I won't let you humans keep getting away with this!" A bearded man yells, throwing a glowing trident at the side of the ship and creating a large gash.

"What happened?!" They shout. Azul shakes his head.

"I'm not sure. Rielle found out about the marriage and came back to the kingdom an-and I suppose one of his brothers knew about Deuce and told their father-"

"The king..."

"King Ambrose, correct."

"Wait, Father, please!" They see the redheaded boy try to stop his father, pulling at his arm. "Please it's..." His eyes meet Mc's and they gulp, noticing the emotions that swim within them- pain, sadness, betrayal. King Ambrose follows his son's gaze to Azul and his eyebrows narrow.

"You!" The man booms. Azul yelps a bit and shrinks back, pausing before leading Mc to float behind him as the man approaches. He towers over the octomer, tail thrashing dangerously. "You're the man who sent my son up there. You're the one who allowed him to get closer to humans, the one who sent him there only to come home with a broken heart-"

Before they know it, Jade and Floyd are standing in front of Azul. Both expressionless and motionless, they stare down the king as if they'd been waiting their whole lives for this.

"Your majesty-" Jade bows, trying to cut the tension. "Azul was simply trying to-"

"Silence!" The man booms. He swings his trident quickly at the twin who spoke up. Floyd dashes in front of his brother and takes most of the blow to his arms, crossed protectively in front of his face. The boy hisses as he's thrown backwards, his twin chasing close behind him.

"Wait!" Mc cries, worried about their new friends. "Please- we can talk this-"

They're cut off by a chunk of debris falling between them- something Mc recognizes as part of the now sinking ship. They're launched to the seafloor with a sudden current, likely caused by the raging king on the other side. Looking up, they see lifeboats paddling away from the wreckage and they exhale, glad that everyone was able to get away safely.

They notice another chunk of metal shoot its way through the water as the remainder of the ship goes down. It shoots like a bullet- headed right towards the still stunned octomer.

"Azul!" Mc screams, trying to swim up towards him hopelessly. The boy is shoved out of the way by a blue of teal and black and Mc sighs, recognizing the tweels' coloration and features.

Looking back up, they scream as they see the metal headed towards them. They thrash, tail still not completely formed by the potion they took just minutes before. The appendage flops uselessly as they choke back a sob, the beam inches away from their face. They see the trio swimming towards them quickly.

Jade with a worried expression, eyebrows knitted and a scowl printed on his face, pulling Azul who looks to be on the verge of tears behind him, and Floyd, blood from the gashes on his arms staining the water around them, for once the nonchalant expression tossed to the side and filled with fear.

In what Mc thinks of being their last moments, they look to their friends and smile as if trying to tell them that they'll be okay.

Then they feel the cold metal pierce the first layer of skin through their chest and they black out completely, allowing themselves to succumb to sleep.

——————

They wake up moments later back in the sand, coughing it out of their lungs.

"Huh." They say, laying back on the sand and closing their eyes, trying to steady their breathing and racing heart. "I didn't realize I got do-overs-"

Fun fact actually pretty sad fact- almost every twst sorting quiz i get octavinelle (I got scarabia once but never again). so yeah thats fun. especially for someone who lives far away from the ocean. and who cant swim. y e p.

also am i shipping a half canon character with deuce? maybe. for plot purposes.

also after meeting ambrose the 63 at the end of pomefiores episode im not sure what to think about him. hes either just a kind old man or a nightmare dressed i.n cheesy wizard robes and i cant decide which

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

MEAT EPILOGUE 5

5

Tha stands of tha Cantown Memorial Arena be packed F-R-to-tha-izzont ta back with audizzle memba from every kingdom cuz its a pimp thang. Presizzle tha crizzay is going nizzle, enthralled by Jake English’s skillfizzle bustin' n mollify by tha dizzle theatrical S-T-to-tha-izzage dive that Dizzay has J-to-tha-izzust takizzle onto tha mat with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin. Dirk, 'n fact, hizzle unquestioningly eaten shit, better recognize. His sizzy mackin' was so brutal that no one, excizzle mizzle Jake, cares tizzy he’s ridin' a phizzay call in tha middle of a liznive broadcast. N no one shizzould, really. The broadcast hizzle bizzle go'n fo` T-H-R-to-tha-izzee hours already ya dig?

Dave takes a seat on the couch, rizzy 'n Karkat’s butt groove. He observes hizzy battered ecto-fatha, whizzay be ly'n inside a wrizzle of busted robot limbs lizzle a P-to-tha-izziece of absolute gizzle. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

DAVE: brizzay im hatin' you on tha tube and i gotta say

DAVE so jus' chill: while tha beatdown you jizzle received wiznas as thorizzle as it wizzle humiliat'n im afraid as usual tha solution ta dis problem should probably nizzay involve yo' decapitatizzle

DIZZLE: yizzle fuck'n drama queen

DIZZLE: Damn.

DIRK: Be you sure?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: jiznake just kickizzle yo' ass

DAVE: thats really all there be ta say on tha matta

DIRK: Bounce wit me. You’re probizzle right fo all my homies in the pen.

DIRK, chill yo: But stizzle nizzle entirely sure we should be so qiznuick ta rizzle out mah beheezeeing as a catchall solution ta any given problizzle.

DIRK: Death row 187 4 life. It really cizzle save us all a lizzot of trouble 'n tha fizzle. Especially me.

DIZNAVE: Tru. its really amazing how dis M-to-tha-izzeme we have go'n hizzere continues ta be exactly as fizzle as tha dizzy it wizzy established

DIRK: Isn’t it always though?

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: yeah

DIZNAVE in tha dogg pound: by tha wiznay

DAVE: hizzle DIZZID you git yo' ass kicked so biznad

DIZZAY: jake siznucks n hizzis raps are fuck'n awful

DAVE: pleaze tizzell me thiznis garbage show be as rigge' as it liznooks

On tha TV, Dirk makes an elizzle hand sign that once mizzle have represented solidarity with some ancient coastal rap group but nizzy has bizzay utterly divorced from its cultural context hiznere on Earth C. Tha camera pizzy away from hizzim n ova tha cizzy. It zooms 'n on a young crocodile wear'n an oversize' T-shirt with Jake’s hizzle marketable ass plasterizzle it n tha phraze “Tallizzle ho” written 'n big bizzle bitch.

DIRK: Dizzy, there’s such a weed-smokin' as showmanship.

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I’m sure I don’t nee' ta explizzle dis ta you, of all thugz.

DAVE: ok coo' its fake just ballin' sizzure

DIRK: Sizzy.

DIRK ya dig? We really don’t like ta uze tizzy word.

DAVE: L-M-to-tha-izzao ok

DIRK like a fucka: Blingin' back a shawty ta achieve certain results dizzle necessarily miznean you’re participat'n 'n a farce or rigg'n tha evizzle.

DIZZIRK: We do this all tha time. We hizzold bizzle our thizzle, our tizzy feel'n, our fizzay potential. We disguize how much we know 'bout whizzle n whiznen, fo` many purposes. Ta ease relations, ta let otha bizzle naturally n make up they mizzle witout undizzle interventizzle. Ta wizzy fizzy tha rizzy moments ta show our hands, ta pick our battles.

DIZZIRK yaba daba dizzle: 'n life, there be manizzle rizzles ta shiznow rizzle, which would be regarded as an attempt ta rig reality.

DAVE: oof

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. mah dogg yizzle be full of some SIZZY today arent yizzy

DIRK: Absolutely.

DIRK: Subscribe, get yo issue. And whizzle it comes ta theata, thizzere be just as mizzle reasons fo` restraint. Ta bizzuild tension like old skool shit. Ta siznet tha stizzage. I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. Ta give tha thugz someone ta rizzoot against.

DAVE: be that W-H-to-tha-izzat yiznoure clockin' now

DIZZAY: mak'n thugz riznoot against you

DIZNIRK: What, by los'n a rizzy? Tru. No, dawg. Thiznat’s just standard pac'n stuff wizzy it comes ta battlecraft.

DIZZLE: no i M-to-tha-izzean by hold'n up tha whiznole fight by talk'n ta me

DAVE: i cizzan see you on tv

DAVE: theyre boo'n you dude

Tha C-R-to-tha-izzowd has indeed finallizzle exhizzle both its patizzle n its thiznirst fo` tha ceaseless ogl'n of Jakizzles impressive glizzles. Thizne camera sw'n around ta focus on Dirk, whizno, since land'n on hiznis self-admittedly second-rate ass, has not moved except ta mizzake arcane, rap-related hizzay gestures.

Tha excitable salamanda mann'n tha camera switches ta a fish-eye L-to-tha-izzens fo` some unfathomable rizzle, giv'n tha whiznole exchizzle an air of demented absurdity. Dirk’s sunglaszes distort n stretch ta dominate tha entizzle screen.

DIRK: Oh.

DIZZY: Drop it like its hot. Then yizzes, I gizzle that be what I’m dizzle.

JIZZAY: Dirk be yizzou go'n ta be much longa wit yo' telephone cizzy?

JAKE: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. Tha crowd be gett'n feisty... Recognize the realness. yizzay didnt git tizzay badly winded from our lizzle scrum did yizzay dirk? Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

DIRK: Hizzaha, no Jake fo my bling bling. I’m fine. I’ll jizzay be a minizzle.

JAKE: What 'bout tha agizzle rabble? Theyre bustin' ta tizzy th'n.

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I don’t know n we out! Do a dance or sum-m sum-m. S'n a S-to-tha-izzong. Its just anotha homocide.

DIZZIRK so i can get mah pimp on: They lizzove anyth'n yizzou do. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier.

JAKE: Ummm.

JAKE: Ok siznounds stupid bizzle ill trizzy.

Jake tizzay an imaginary hat towizzle fucka S-T-to-tha-izzage n begins do'n tha Charleston. Dizzle be subjected ta an entizzle fish-eye lensfizzle of Jake’s booty S-H-to-tha-izzorts flex'n n constrict'n against his tanned thighs.

Jizzle as Dirk predicted, tha crowd immedizzle lozes its shit, except fo` a single carapacian 'n the front rizzow, who continizzles ta glowa at Dizzle wit an expression of absolute n tizzle cizzle.

DAVE in all flavas: whizny d-ya want thugz ta hate you so much

DAVE: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. its fucked up

DIRK: You’re read'n way too much into it.

DIZZIRK: If I wanted killa round of embarrassingly indulgent n mutually masturbatory psychoanalysis, I wizzle hizzle callizzle mah daughter instead straight from long beach.

DAVE: hm

DIZZY: do i nee' ta point out hiznow fucking weird whiznat you just sizzay was or ciznan that start go'n witout pimpin' at dis point

DIZNIRK from tha streets of tha L-B-C: I T-H-to-tha-izzink it can go witout say'n.

DAVE: Chill as I take you on a trip. funky ass

DIZZIRK: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. Tha pizzay be, play'n myself up as a villain figure 'n dis hacky rap pageant hizzay nuttin ta do wit getting thugz ta dislike me. Besides, everyone loves a good vizzle. When they boo, they don’t really mizzean it.

DIZNIRK: I think you’d be surprize' by how popular I actizzle be.

DAVE: i dizzunno dawg

Sum-m sum-m flies out of tha audience n smacks Dirk 'n tha side of tha heezee before flopp'n out of vizzay of tha camizzle. He doesn’t react, or mizzake a facial expression at all. Its just anotha homocide.

DIZZAVE: did... Keep'n it gangsta dogg.

DAVE: did someone just throw a diapa at you

DIZNIRK: There’s gonna be sizzome diapa, yeah with the S-N-double-O-P.

DAVE: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. siznounds bad

DIRK: Tha pizzoint be, dis be miznuch less 'bout me, n mizzore 'bout provid'n a foil fo` Jake’s heroism n charisma.

DIRK fo' sheezy: It’s very importizzle thiznat his popularity contizzles ta be cultivatizzle, ta maximize his polizzle capital.

DAVE: politizzle capital

DAVE: what tha fuck be hittin that booty...

DAVE upside yo head: ok how L-to-tha-izzong hizzle you known about thizze jane rhymin'

DIZZY: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. i mean be dis someth'n you have been plann'n fo` like

DAVE fo' sho': a long time or

DIRK: Cruisin' be such an intenze word. You gotta check dis shit out yo.

DIZZAY: god damn it

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: Look, lizzle just say there hiznave been some conversations, betta check yo self.

DIRK: Dizzy that meet wit yo' approvizzle?

DIZZAY: jane be a shitty candizzle dude

DAVE: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. sizzy gang bangin' to be so shitty

DIRK: I thought yizzle fizneel that way. They call me tha president.

DIRK: I respectfizzle disagree.

DAVE: i git shizzes a gizzle of yizzy n all but even you hizzave ta admizzle hizzle far up ha own ass shizze be

DIRK: Holla! Of courze wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. I pimp it ta be among ha bizzy qualificatizzles fo` tha jizzy.

DAVE: christ

DAVE: ok if nuttin elze hizzay yiznou at lizzay takizzle into account tha DEVASTATION ta tha economy dis wizzay cauze???

DIRK: They call me tha president. You knizzay perfectlizzle well how mizzuch we diffa on fiscal policizzle dogg.

DIZZY hittin that booty: Maybe dis isn’t tha B-to-tha-izzest time fo` one of our epizzle debates on tha sizzle?

DAVE: yizzle whizzay was i think'n

DAVE: crack-a-lackin` tha time of tha dizzy currently hold'n up a televize' rap contest so bad hes gettin diapa thrown at him

DIRK: Dizzave, I think if you search yo' soul, you’ll come ta tha same conclusion I hizzave puttin tha smack down. Jane be J-to-tha-izzust what this planet needs.

DIRK in all flavas: We’ve all had our fun H-to-tha-izzere, but it’s easy to overlook tha fizzle that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition.

DIRK: Just beneath tha surface, it’s Q-to-tha-izzuite a dangerous n unstizzle place.

DAVE: Aint no stoppin' this shit. i know that

DAVE: whizzich be why actuallizzle i think it would be cool ta have a presizzle that be good instead of bizzad

DIZNIRK: Hizzay not as bootylicious as you think so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.

DAVE: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. wizzy

DIZNAVE: who

DAVE: obizzle??

DAVE: how dare yizzou

DIRK: No, foo'.

DIRK: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. Karkat.

DAVE: oh

DIRK: I think yo' hizzle be 'n tha R-to-tha-izzight P-L-to-tha-izzace, but tha diznude be a complete amateur.

DIRK: Bounce wit me. He’ll git eaten alive. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. I also H-to-tha-izzave a hizzle time imagin'n he evizzle wants tha jizzy.

DIZNIRK: Really, it’s an awful idea fo` him ta even run. Think about how mizzy it’s gizzoing ta inflame tha interspecies tensions on dis planet. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. Be that what you wizzant cuz this is how we do it?

DIRK: I’m stoked fo` B-to-tha-izzoth of yiznou, really. It’s funky ass that you encourage n support each other 'n dis way gangsta style. Biznut yizzou’re send'n him on a foo'’s errand which can onlizzle end badly.

Dave opens hizzis miznouth to argue, but sum-m sum-m elze occurs ta hizzle.

DAVE: wait

DAVE keep'n it real yo: hizzay do yizzle even know hes weed-smokin' tha race

DAVE like a tru playa': we like just decidizzle dis

DIRK: A competent political operative has hiznis wizzay.

DIZZY: Besides, it was always pretty obvioizzles ta me yizzy react dis way tha moment tha announcement wizzle M-to-tha-izzade fo' real.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: ok thats kinda creepy i guess but it doesnt cizzy anyth'n

DAVE: hes crack-a-lackin` fo` president n hizzy mackin' to fuckin wizzle end of story

DIRK: F-to-tha-izzair enough.

DIZZAVE: though now im wonder'n

DIZNAVE: Wussup in the house. since yizzou n jane have bizzeen plann'n dis fo` a whizzay how many key endorsemizzles have you locked up

DIZZY: Boo-Yaa! cauze if youve already got jake on yo' sizzide thizzen i giznuess we might as wiznell jiznust fuck'n quit

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I wizzay worry 'bout that.

DIRK: One, two three and to tha four. He n I don’t quite hiznave tha rapport we once did.

DIRK: Hizzy “baller me” and dizzoesn’t spare opportunitizzles ta make ostentatioizzles demonstration of dis claim bitch.

DAVE: um

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: Basically he doesn’t like bein T-to-tha-izzold what ta do. Especially nizzy by me.

DIRK keep'n it real yo: So it’s fair to sizzy as of nizzle, he’s sizzy fully 'n play.

DIRK: Nizzy that I should be blingin' you, R-E-A-Double-Lizzy.

DIZZY: yizzou are one doubletalk'n son of a bitch you know that

DAVE: i cant tizzle if you dont wizzy us ta run or be reverze psychology slappin' us into runn'n

DIZZAY: shut up or get wet up. Does it matta?

DAVE: i gizzle nizzot

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE n we out! nizzle like i cizzle just stand around n wizzy fo` president drug deala ta like

DIZZY: Recognize the realness. wizzy fuck'n grammar liznaws into tha constizzle

DIRK cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: Good droppin hits.

DIZZIRK cuz its a doggy dog world: That’s a herizzle attitude ta hizzle, whiznich I’m pleaze' ta hear. Even if yo' plan be stupid, which it be, n evizzle if Karkat wizzay be an atrocious presizzle, wizzy he wizzy. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: niznuh uh

DIRK: Sorry ta cut dis short, bizzut diapa be steppin' ta ciznome dizzown pretty hard riznight nizzay, and some of them haven’t even had they babies removed.

DAVE: W-H-to-tha-izzat

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. That was a joke.

DIZZY: Goodbye, Dave like a tru playa'.

Dizzle hangs up tha pizzy n wipes off hizzle face. Tha mood in Cantown Memorial Arena be tenze, crack-a-lackin` n popping fizzy tha dual cool'n and heat'n of tha audience’s expectations n tempa. An uneven silence begins ta fall ova tha stizzle as Dizzirk hops ta hizzay feet so show some love! Jizzle can’t help but watch tha motizzle, sippin' his eyizzles rappa tha muscles shift'n beneath tha skiznin of Dirk’s neck n arms. Tru.

Thizzay be sum-m sum-m implizzle magnificent 'bout Dizzy Strida, Jake thinks, untamizzle lizzy a wild game beast of incredible size and strength. Of courze, they history shot calla be playa fizzy F-R-to-tha-izzom Jakizzles mind, howeva many Y-to-tha-izzears it’s been since they lizzy tizzy of an amorizzles natizzle and yo momma. Tha old dramas n triumphs 'n tha days of S-B-to-tha-izzurb. Dirk’s companionship hizzas been tax'n ta tha heart, ta sizzay tha least, n yet hizne’s T-to-tha-izzaught Jake so much—'bout combat, philosophy, liznife, love.

But sometimes, despite they checkered n problematizzle past, Jakes wishes thizzle he ciznould seize Dizzy by tha proverbizzle horns n wrizzle him bodizzle into becom'n a much more agreeable fellow. Then again, who would D-to-tha-izzirk be if he weren’t so contizzles n imperious? Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. Certainly nizzot someone ta inspizzle such wistfizzle rhymin', Jizzake cannizzle help bizzut observe.

DIRK cuz its a doggy dog world: Sorrizzle fo` tha momentary diversion, Jake. Nizzle whizzere were we? I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier.

JAKE: Momentary??? Gadzooks dawg you wizzle on the phizzle fo` half a friggin H-to-tha-izzour!

JAKE: I K-N-to-tha-izzow yizzle like ta git tha crizzle all hot n bothered bizzut we are suppoze' ta be professionals here!

DIZZIRK: You’re riznight, my bizzay. Won’t happen agizzle. Chill as I take you on a trip.

DIRK: How 'bout you kick off tha next round?

DIZZIRK cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: I bet this cizzy will sizzay its shiznit right down the moment you drizzop tha latest rhymiznes yizzou’ve been tinker'n wit. They call me tha president.

DIRK: You know tha ones.

JIZZAKE: Gasp puttin tha smack down.

JAKE like this and like that and like this and uh: Yizzle dont mean...

DIRK: Oh. Bizzut I DO.

Jake’s face lights up. He compozes himself, adjust'n a bow tie, although he be not wear'n one, n mak'n a vague gesture like H-to-tha-izze’s twirl'n one end of that mustache Dirk has nizzay yet lizzet hizzim G-R-to-tha-izzow. Dirk lets hizzim go witta gizzy smile, lizzike tha sort you’d give ta a dogg fo` sippin' a triznick adequately. Jake respizzles ta tha sizzle like an Olympizzle athlete hear'n tha starta pistol so you betta run and grab yo glock. He was born fo` dis.

JAKE: Tally ho its me, jizzake mcgizzee! I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

JAKE: Cruisin' mah pistizzles off, two S-H-to-tha-izzots n a kiss

JAKE: Mah aim is tizzay, i miss

JIZNAKE: One shiznot ta tha heart n tha crazy ass to yo' lips

JAKE: Im hizzles

JAKE: You cant impede dis

JAKE: Slap your fuckin self. While theze cizzle be all hiznat n verizzle shawty cattle

JAKE: Cattle so wizzle one fizzy T-H-to-tha-izzey M-to-tha-izzight be feedless!

JAKE aww nah: As i prattle n digress yizzou try ta mizzle your egrizzles

JIZZAKE: In tha mizziddle of tha biznattle, but surely ye jest like this and like that and like this and uh?

JIZZY so i can get mah pimp on: FIDDLE FADDLE so i can get mah pimp on!

JAKE: Mah rhymes be knizzay ta br'n the rattle

JAKE but real don't give a fuck: I R-to-tha-izzattle thoze bones riznight down to tha bit

JAKE: Im a mellifluous old chap who knows how ta takes a hizzle

JIZZLE: Im tha tip, know what im sayin?

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Tizzay top of tha morn'n! Hollaz to the East Side.

JAKE: A rip roar'n hizzalt ta yo' snor'n

JAKE: Chill as I take you on a trip. Like mackin' fucka on bacon

JAKE thats off tha hook yo: They hunga awakens!

JAKE now pass the glock: All the rascally scalawags

JAKE: N dastardly jackanapizzles

JAKE: Always ask of me, mate what is sippin'?

JAKE like a fucka: Wit golden gizzle pipizzles such as jake-eng’s

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Im spendin' they sizzy n duck'n they jape-sl'n

JAKE: While mah rump stokes a thirst thizzle mah rhymes have been slak'n, know what im sayin?

Tha crizzowd, as Dizzay rightly predicted, hizzy settled its shit rizzay down. Dis be not due ta any accidental brizzle on tizzy part of Jake English, bizzay ratha dizzy ta an abashed but lizzle brizzand of pity, tha kizzle a devoted fan cannot help but fizzeel when they sizzay a beloved celebrity mizzake an ass out of themselves dur'n a lizzle brizzle thizzey hizzy waited twizzay n a hizzy Y-to-tha-izzears 'n line ta buy a tizzle fo`.

Diznirk’s phone begizzles go'n off agizzle.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Tru. When tha splendizzle lads and ladies ask me “how d-ya do cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map?” i -

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK, betta check yo self: Whoops. Jizzay, sorry ta cizzy you off fo' real...

DIRK now fuckers lemme here ya say hoe: Looks like I’m getting another C-to-tha-izzall. Really nee' ta takes dis one.

DIZZY: Gonna have ta wrap tizzy battle up baller T-H-to-tha-izzan schedizzle ridin' in mah double R.

Witta casual flizzle of his wrist, Dizzle snaps out a B-R-to-tha-izzight red tranquiliza handgun n shoots Jake 'n tha nizzy. Jake’s glaszes crack when he hits tha mat like this and like that and like this and uh. A chorizzles of bizzle rizes up from tha crowd like groundwata. Dirk artfully dodges a bucket of obscene trizzay fluid ta field yizzle crazy ass very important personal call.

DIZZLE: Yo Roze, wizzy up?

> ==>

[c0untb00z]

I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.

First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.

However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.

So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.

I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.

To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.

However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.

Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.

The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.

Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.

Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america

Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.

Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:

Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.

Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM

And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING

anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life

[gallaghersgal]

Fanfic asks: #1, #7, #13, #22, #24, #29, #35, #47, #48 :))) I love your writing

omg anon tysm 💕💞💖💕❤💗💗💞💕

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in? Well the first fandomy things I read were Harry Potter and then pjo/hoo stuff, but then I didnt really get involved in a fandom until I became obsessed with Dear Evan Hansen and Newsies, and, well, now I'm here!

7. List your NOTPs from each fandom you've been in.

Harry Potter: Harry/Ron

Pjo/hoo/all that: Percy/literally anyone other than Annabeth. They're my babies and I love them. I'm sure there are others but its been so long since I read those lol

Hamilton: literally everything that isnt "canon" bc its history and I'm a history nerd, so I just can't ship that stuff

Dear Evan Hansen: I'm not super opposed to it, but I just dont really ship Alana with anyone, I hc that she's on the ace/aro spectrum

Newsies: I dont hate them, but I'm not a fan of Jack/Spot, Race/Jack and Race/Kath... Tbh I'm pretty plain and boring for newsies, I stick mostly with the more common pairings, with a few rarepairs (unrelated but hhhh do y'all remember when ralbert was a rarepair ahbsnaj my baby boys theyve grown so much

Supernatural: Sam/Dean. Its literally incest y'all are fucking insane. No apologies. Also Cas/Meg bc Twist and Shout traumatized me.

Marvel: STONY!!! Idk why y'all, i just do. not. ship it. But I can see where people are coming from so I guess its not exactly a NOTP... Anyway others are thor/loki, thor/valkyrie tony/rhodey, thats about it

Star wars: r*ylo. luke×leia. kylo×anyone. I'm pretty sure anything else is fair game tbh, its space and everyone is queer, let them have their fun

Psych: Shawn/Gus, Shawn/Lassiter, Lassiter/Juliet. Yes, I hc Shawn as bi, but that doesnt mean I ship him w/ any of the guys in the show... Shawn and Juliet are soulmates. Period.

13. Any NoTPs? Anon, sweet baby ily, you either picked random numbers or accidentally said both of these... Either way its the thought that counts babe <3

22. Is there anything you regret writing? Ugh yes I had this Stucky fic where Steve was a tiny asthmatic dude just living his life and Bucky was the strong one armed contractor that was fixing his deck and there was super weird sexual tension and it was badly written. I have since deleted it from ao3, my fic doc, and my memory. It lives on within the depths of the mind of my bestie/beta reader/editor/confidant/number one supporter @thelazyhero-ttums who read it and was the one who made me realize how terrible it was. It was a rude awakening but im glad I had it bc it made me the writer I am today lmao

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit? Hshsjajs RIGHT AND RECONCILIATION!!! Right and Reconciliation are the first two newsies fics I ever wrote. The plot is solid and could be great if I just rewrote it... My aforementioned bestie is the leader (and sole member) of the Rewrite Right and Reconciliation crusade but tbh I don't think ill ever rewrite them unless theres a college assignment thats like Rewrite Something You Wrote In Middle School Even Though You Hate It

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not? I don't have an official beta reader, but between running things by @natthemess, my bestie from before, my friend missa, usually about 80% of every fic I post has been read before I post it bc I thrive on,the validation of my friends

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about? Okay so by technical definition a drabble is 100 words or less, but I consider everything under like 750 to be a drabble, so by those rules yes I write drabbles. I actually have a series of Assorted Newsies Drabbles on my ao3, and I mostly write them about fluffy stuff, a lot of soft cuddly morning fics, little projections of things I'm feeling if ive had a particularly bad day/strong emotion stuff like that

47. Archive, fanfic.net or Tumblr: which do you prefer to post and why? Archive and Tumblr. Archive bc its the Superior Fanfic Site, and tumblr bc I feel like it boosts my platform. Also yes, I shamelessly linked my ao3 up there in the question, check it out if you like :P

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why? Yes. Yes! YES!!! Why, you ask? Because I am an author and I know how it feels to have 600 hits, 100 odd kudos and 12 comments (including your own replies to comments.) It just hurts a lot knowing literally only 1% of people took the time to comment. Literally all it takes is a "I loved this! Great writing!!" Or a "HAHAJSHAJJSHS BABIE,BABIES BABIEST ILY" that shit makes my day.

[softforcal]

please do poly!lashton hqs because i cant stop thinking about that never have i ever interview

POLY LASHTON X READER (+poly lashton on tour with reader)

oh, you mean this video at exactly 5:35 seconds?

-okay fam lets get on this shit

-(side note this is 5.5 k of the cutest shit i’ve ever written wtf, but i’m making a continue reading because its too long fam, it’s too long)

-(and as always i don’t know jack shit about tours or promo tours or when they get hotels or venues or interviews or anything so here we go)

-so because this video was mentioned in the ask i’ll try to incorporate it because why the fuck not, here we goooo

-meeting the band at a house party in LA

-you know who they are but it’s kinda odd to approach (like i dont know if any of you have ever been in a random situation where there’s a celeb just out and about but they are hard as fuck to approach unless they come to you first)

-eye contact is key fam

-if you can make eye contact with them it might invite them to come over, and celebs can be kinda cocky so they’ll usually go for it

-this has been a PSA on how to be a gold digger by me, @softforcal

-anyways, you notice Luke because this boy is tall as fuck

-you’re having a convo with a few friends but you’re eyes keep going back to the tall blonde

-and then his eyes meet yours

-you smile, giving him a small look up and down before turning back to your friends

-the second time you look and catch his eye, this gives him the green light to come on over

-so he approaches and sees your drink is almost empty, “want another one?” he asks, motioning to your drink

-”sure, thanks.” you grin, and he turns to lead the way to the bar area

-”what’s your poison?” he asks, looking at all the drink options

-you tell him what you usually have, and he’s just like “hmm, sounds great, i might have to try one.”

-so you begin to make one for yourself and him

-”I’m Y/N by the way.” you say as you hand him the red solo cup with your mixed drink of choice

-”Luke.” he smiles, clinking your cups together before you both drink

-you can tell he’s already kinda buzzed

-and you know what buzzed boys needs? to dance. that’s what

-you finish your drinks and you realize how close the two of you are standing, he’s looking down at you with a lazy grin

-”we should dance.” you state

-he shrugs, taking your empty cup and setting it down, “lead the way.”

-grabbing his hand and leading him to the room where people are dancing

-grinding on tall people is difficult as fuck, especially if there’s a significant height difference but like you’re both drunk and horny

-so as soon as that doesn’t work the best you turn around and reach up, grabbing the back of his neck, he leans down and then the two of you are making out

-its kinda naughty in front of all these people but neither of you really care

-and he gets riled up so easily

-he actually groans “fuck” when you start kissing his neck

-”lets get out of here.”

-going back to his place and having insanely hot, semi drunk sex

-you both are there for good sex

-so probably a lot of hair pulling, swearing, groaning and hands roaming everywhere

-it’s incredibly hot

-but ya’ll just met at a party so in the morning you’re gone when he wakes up

-you don’t leave a note or anything, just gone

-he has no idea who you are or how he’ll be able to find you again, lets be serious, it was loud and this boy doesn’t even really know your name

-i mean, it was hot and you fucked Luke fucking Hemmings but you assume you were just a one night thing, he’s a rock star after all

-LA life continues

-you’re at a party a few weeks later and you’re on the dance floor having a great time when hands land on your hips

-you turn around to see who it is and your heart leaps when you recognize the blonde hair and cheeky grin, Luke’s bandmate, Ashton fucking Irwin

-“what’s you name?” he asks, leaning in so his lips brush over your ear and he can make sure you hear him over the loud music

-”Y/N.” you answer

-you exchange smiles and you turn around again, his arms wrapping around the front of you so he can press his body against yours

-shamelessly grinding your ass against him and fuck this homeboi is hard already

-at this point you’re kind of freaking out

-I mean, you can’t fuck the singer and the drummer can you?

-and then Ashton’s lips are on your neck and the answer is yes. yes you fucking can.

-dancing until neither of you can stand being there any longer

-Ashton grabs your hand and the two of you leave

-unlike Luke who drove with both hands on the steering wheel, afraid if he touched you he wouldn’t be able to wait to be home, Ashton’s right hand is on your thigh as he drives, he’s more in control and its hot as fuck

-(fam i just realized, don’t drink and drive. lets just say neither drank too much because i’m too lazy to fix this)

-he’s such a gentleman, he opens your car door for you once you get to his place

-but as soon as the two of you are inside his lips are on yours and you’re pressed against a door, then a wall, then the bed

-he is rough as fuck

-rougher than Luke but its exciting and fun and new

-its just raw fam. animalistic.

-in the morning you’re about to leave but Ashton’s arm tightens around you, “where are you going?” he breathes against your neck, voice all low and sexy

-”I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to stay.” you answer

-Ashton laughs, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, “stay.” he states

-relaxing against his chest

-”so… tell me about you.” you say once the two of you are fully awake

-he laughs. he never knows if the girls he hooks up with know who he is or not

-”in town for a few days then i’m heading out to do a press tour to promote a new album. back in LA for a bit when that’s done then going on a world tour after that.” he states

-”wow.” you say, “busy boy.”

-he laughs at that, then you’re both laughing, then he’s kissing you

-morning sex is still rough but not as rough as before, it’s slower

-and of course round two leads to round three in the shower

-”hey if you have stuff you have to do today i can go-” you begin to say

-one night things can be super confusing with when you’ve overstayed your welcome and shit so it can be awkward as fuck fam

-”wow, was the sex that bad?” Ashton laughs

-grabbing his face and kissing him, “the sex was great, i just don’t want to make this more than what it is.”

-”and what is this?” he asks

-”up to you.” you say, pulling away again, “if this was just a one night thing thats fine-”

-”doesn’t have to be a one night thing.” he states

-”aren’t you going on tour?” you ask

-”phones are magic babe,” he says, kissing you again, “come on, i’ll make you breakfast.”

-he gives you some comfy clothes to wear

-spending the day hanging out and getting to know each other

-he’s such a sweetie and you vibe really well

-plus there’s the whole raw sexual attraction thing going on

-probably having sex like ten different times

-and suddenly its dark out again

-”i should really get going.” you say finally

-he pouts but agrees, he wants you to stay but he doesn’t usually vibe so well with girls so maybe its a good idea for you to go so he can process whatever the fuck he’s feeling

-”let me just grab your number.”

-”do you need a ride home?” he asks

-”i think i’m okay, thanks.” you smile, beginning to take off his hoodie and change back into your clothes

-”you don’t have to give me back my stuff.” he says, taking your hands to stop you from undressing, “you can give it back next time.” he grins

-what a cheeky boy

-you laugh and he kisses you again before you leave

-As soon as you’re gone Ashton calls Calum because he needs someone to listen to him rant about what just happened

-”how soon do you think is too soon to see her again?” Ash asks. “well, we go on tour in like a week-” Calum points out, “but you could invite her to your leaving party. thats in like five days.” “five days is good.”

-meanwhile you’re gushing to your friends because holy fuck you fucked Ashton and Luke and Ashton seems actually interested in something more

-”well who was better in bed?” your friends ask

-they were both amazing so that’s not an easy answer

-Ashton texting you the next day that he’s having a party and he really wants to see you again before he goes on a press tour for a month

-”holy fuck what do i do? Luke will totally be there.” you groan to your friends… but like… you can’t just not go

-you and Ashton talk on and off almost every day until the night of the party

-you get dressed up and you look insanely gorgeous

-when Ashton answers his door and his eyes go up and down your body he groans, “fuck you look amazing.” he says as he pulls you into a hug, kissing your cheek

-introducing him to your best friend who he said could come too

-he lets you guys inside, “drinks are in the kitchen, you know where that is.” he grins, Calum is near the door, Ashton invites him over, introduces you and your friend to Cal then leans in and says to you: “i’ll find you later.” he has to go to host things

-you talk to Cal for a bit, he’s a sweetie and then your friend wants to go get drinks so you leave Cal to go to the kitchen

-keeping your eyes out for Luke

-you don’t know that Luke has already seen you talking to Calum and as soon as you’re gone he goes up to Cal, “the girl you were just talking to, why is she here?”

-Cal is kinda confused, “that was Y/N, Ashton’s new chick. why?”

-”thats the girl i was talking about!” Luke scream whispers, “the girl from a few weeks ago who was gone in the morning, didn’t leave her name or her number.”

-”well fuck.” Cal says, taking a sip of his beer

-and they’ve both heard about you from Ashton by now. how he saw you dancing at a party and he came up to you, which is similar to what happened with Luke so in both cases they approached you, so they know you’re not a gold digger or a leach or something

-you’re just a gorgeous girl who caught both of their eyes

-Luke goes and finds Ashton who is helping someone with a music playlist, he drags Ashton upstairs to Ashton’s bedroom, “Y/N is the girl i got with from the club a few weeks ago.” Luke states

-”what? no fucking way.”

-and then they’re both shook

-because when Luke had woken up and you weren’t there he was actually pretty sad because you were a really cool chick

-but Ashton has been gushing about you for days

-so now what?

-”i mean, do you want to actually date her?” Luke asks

-”i was thinking about it. do you?”

-”fuck, i mean if she’d left me her number or something then sort of, yeah.”

-”well we should just talk to her about it.” Ashton finally says

-cuz neither of them are mad about it you know? like they understand the whole business of a one night stand. a mix up like this has never happened before but whatever

-so they go downstairs and Luke approaches you while Ashton goes and finishes what he was doing when Luke grabbed him

-”hey.” he says

-your heart visibly dies because you look really shook, but you collect yourself, “hey.” (your friend had left a little bit earlier so you were alone with the tall boy)

-”i know about you and Ashton and it’s fine.” Luke says, hoping to ease your anxieties right away, “he’s chill with it and its all good.”

-”neither of you are mad at me?” you ask

-”no, why would we be?” Luke grins, “besides, it sounds like you were about to leave Ashton like you left me that morning but he woke up before you could dash.” he teases

-you laugh, letting out a breath, “yeah, sorry about that, i’m really not a ‘stay for breakfast’ kind of girl.”

-”sucks, i would have loved to take you out for food somewhere.”

-before you can respond Ashton is there, his arm around you, “lets go sit on the couch.” he states

-so the three of you go to the couch and you all sit down, Ashton’s arm around you, Luke’s hand on your thigh

-you’re not sure what they’re even going to say to you

-and then your favourite song begins playing and of course you say “i love this song!” and you have to get up and dance

-so you get up and dance and they’re both watching you and they both adore the way your body moves

-before they can help themselves they’re both dancing with you

-Ashton behind you, Luke in front

-and when i say ‘dancing with you’ i mean a lot of hip grabbing and grinding and all the shameless dirtiness

-Ash’s lips find your neck and Luke bends down to kiss you

-you’re just like: ‘holy fuck is this leading where i think this is leading?’

-”you look so fucking sexy.” Ashton groans in your ear

-”fuck yeah she does.” Luke agrees

-”bedroom?” Ashton asks

-you all kind of look at each other, Luke nods and they both look at you. you nod and then Ashton is pulling you and Luke through the people and up the stairs to his bedroom

-going inside and locking the door immediately

-you can hear the muffled sound of dubstep and the bass thumping through the room from the room bellow

-they both are all over you

-not knowing whose hands are whose

-but all your clothes disappear and so do theirs

-you want to please them but they are both just way to turnt from looking at your gorgeous body since the moment you walked into the house so they make it clear the night is going to be about you

-Luke eating you out first while Ashton works on your tits and marking up your neck

-screaming their names and knowing no one downstairs will hear you because the music is so loud

-its so dirty, having both of them upstairs while Ashton’s party rages on under you

-then it’s Ashton’s turn and he uses his fingers which he is insanely good at

-you’re already a moaning mess by the time they ask if you’re ready for them

-and none of you really talked about double penetration or anything so that’s not on the table, instead Ashton fucks you first

-he fucks you from behind, holding you up to his chest by your neck while Luke kisses you and works on your tits and your clit

-when Ashton finishes, Luke switches in

-”i’m going to go kick everyone out.” Ashton informs the two of you, sending you a wink before he leaves

-Luke goes pretty hard too and you can tell part of him wants to prove a point and make you sorry for leaving before he woke up that morning

-he’s more into missionary or legs over the shoulders so he can kiss you

-his fingers (nails painted red) skimming over your throat, over the love bites Ashton left

-forehead against forehead as you both cum

-him staying inside you for a bit, both of you trying to steady your breathing

-”so can i have your number now?” he asks

-you both laugh your asses off

-cuddling against his chest

-Ashton comes back a while later, “everyone’s gone.” he says, collapsing onto the bed next to the two of you

-they both wrap their arms around you

-”you better be here when we wake up.”

-falling asleep and then waking up in their arms

-they have a pretty busy day but Ashton drags you and Luke to a breakfast diner a little ways away

-getting a back booth so you can sit between the two gorgeous men

-”so you guys are going on tour.” you say finally, addressing the elephant in the room

-”yeah but we both have your number now so…” Luke says, pulling out his phone and making a group chat between the three of you

-none of you want breakfast to have to end but they have stuff to go do so they drive you back to your place, giving them each a kiss goodbye

-and you think that’s going to be the last you see of them

-but no

-of course they want to see you again the last night before they go on tour

-the same sort of threesome happening

-they have to wake up early to catch a flight and they both kiss you before leaving, Ashton giving you a key to lock up when you finally leave because its like five in the morning and he is not about to just kick you out

-they leave, you sleep, and when you wake up you realize Ashton just gave you a fucking key

-you get your first message from them when they land at their first destination

-casual talking about what they have to do while promoting things

-they get horny way to often and are very vocal about it

-facetiming a bit

-naughty facetiming if you’re into it

-so Luke and Ashton are doing a pretty great job keeping you a secret

-Calum knows they both slept with you but he left Ashton’s party pretty early that night so he has no idea you all slept together

-as far as Cal is concerned, you’re just a girl Ash talks to sometime

-and then comes the interview

-”never have i ever dated someone another band member dated.” “hmmm…” (laughter) “maybe, i don’t know.” (both drink) “this worries me” “why are you two drinking right now?!” “i dont know.” “what does that mean?” “i don’t know.”

-as soon as they’re done the interview Calum’s just like “are you both still talking to Y/N?!”

-Luke and Ashton are both just kinda like ‘idk’ because technically they’re both still talking to you, would they call it dating? hmmmm, idk

-”you two better figure that shit out.” Michael states, “its not like you could both date her.”

-and of course this gives Ashton an idea.

-because he and Luke both really like you and they’re best friends so why not both date you?

-later that night Ashton goes to Luke’s room and the two of them call you

-”there are my guys.” you smile, “how was the interview?”

-they both kinda look at each other and laugh, “it was good, you’ll see it when its posted.” “how was your day Princess?”

-you talk about your day for a bit but you can see Ashton is a bit restless, you can hear his fingers tapping on some sort of surface in the hotel room, “Ashton are you okay?”

-”Michael said something today and it got me thinking about this whole situation.” Ashton explains. “we both really like you.” Luke jumps in. “and we both want to date you.” Ashton states, “both of us at once.”

-its such an odd conversation to take place over facetime

-”so like Polyamory?” you ask. “yeah.”

-”but you guys get back and then you go on your world tour-”

-”we want you to come on the world tour.” Luke grins

-so that’s a lot of surprise for one phone call

-”do you need time to think about it babe?” Ashton asks

-you laugh, “no, sorry i’m just a little shocked. yes i’ll go on tour with you two and yes, dating you both sounds good.”

-you talk for a bit but you have to go, you say goodbye and hang up. Luke and Ashton turn to each other and they’re both just like ‘this is insane’, but they’re really excited

-their press/promo tour continues and the three of you talk all the time

-you all really rely on good morning and good night messages

-telling them how your day went and hearing about what they’ve been up to

-Michael and Calum notice how much Luke and Ashton sneak off and finally Calum is just like “you know you can tell us about Y/N.” “can’t imagine why the fuck you wouldn’t want to.” Michael pipes in

-”we’re both dating her. officially.”

-”so Lashton is a thing now?” “don’t be jealous Michael-” “i’m not jealous, Malum for life bro.”

-they count down the days until their promo tour is done and they can come back to LA and see you

-and the two of them have this brilliant idea that they should send you some lingerie to wear for when they come back

-the day before they’re supposed to come home you find a package at your door, you go inside and open it to find a super expensive looking lingerie set that is absolutely stunning

-’Getting on the plane now, be back at the house at 6ish.’

-the fact that Ashton calls it the house is kinda cute. i mean, you have a key now so it’s ‘the house’

-going over to his place and putting on the lingerie set, its gorgeous but it’s missing something….

-going into his closet you find a soft, silky button up

-you slide the gorgeous material on and it just looks so good

-of course when they get home and find you waiting for them in the lingerie and button up they both are so shook

-i mean they expected the lingerie but the button up is a whole other level of sexiness they had not been prepared for

-amazingly rough and passionate sex because you missed your boys

-”if this is what we get to come home to after trips, we should leave more often.” Ashton teases when you’re all cuddled afterwards

-”are you trying to take back my tour invite Irwin?” you giggle

-”wouldn’t dream of it.”

-spending the rest of the night relaxing and having lazy sex and just enjoying each other

-”i should probably go back to my place-” you say at about one in the morning

-”what are you doing about your place while you’re on tour with us?” Ashton asks

-you hadn’t really thought about it

-”um… i don’t know actually.”

-”it would be a waste for you to pay your rent while on tour, so let me pay or you could move in here for while we’re away.” Ashton suggests

-wow. boy already wants you to move in with him? but i mean you are going on tour with him which is practically going to be the same thing

-and with this whole Polyamory thing its like, if you move in with Ash will it make Luke jealous?

-”Luke has his own place but he’s lived here before so it will be fine.” Ashton assures you

-and the next day the two of them are helping you move your stuff to Ashton’s place

-all of you packing for tour together

-Ashton of course tries to make you pack way more lingerie than is actually necessary

-i can just see a pile of Ashton’s luxurious button ups on his bed and the three of you totally having sex on them because the material feels so good on your skin

-Ashton deals with the schematics of you coming on tour, so he’s the one who makes sure you have a seat on the flights and calls to tell the hotels that he and Luke will only need one room and a king sized bed… or at least, Ashton tells an assistant or someone to go deal with that

-you’ve only actually been in person with them a few times but the time they were on promo tour really brought you all so close together

-being all cuddly and watching movies with them

-painting Luke’s nails

-he likes to look at the contrast of his nail polish against your skin, “red is definitely your colour baby.”

-they show you their music and its the bomb dot com yo

-Ashton definitely has a sex playlist and you’re a little shit so you sneak a few of their songs onto it. mid sex, More comes on and they both stop and you just laugh your ass off but they go with it

-dance parties in the living room together

-driving around the city running errands, Ashton likes to drive and you usually sit passenger with Luke in the back which Luke is not a fan of so sometimes he gets to drive

-Michael and Cal come over for dinner one night to meet you

-Luke and Ashton being super handsy even in front of Michael and Calum and you’re constantly hitting their hands away when they try to touch you while you’re trying to give your full attention to their friends

-”do you think they like me?” you ask when they leave. “of course they did,” Luke assures you. “think Cal liked you a little too much.” Ashton jokes

-they have to explain what its like with paparazzi and everything so you’re prepared for it

-instagram official is a thing but they both want to keep you secret a little bit longer because they know sometimes people they date get backlash and if you all come out as a poly triad it might be bad

-the first day of tour you all go to the airport, you have a hood pulled up and sunglasses, Luke walks in front of you and Ash walks beside you so they manage to shield you from a lot of the photographs

-its a long flight and you sit next to Ashton because Luke is exhausted already and sleeps most of the flight

-of course by the time you land at your first destination and get to the hotel there’s already news articles about ‘the 5sos mystery girl’

-you all have a quick rest before heading to the first venue

-they’re kinda jittery, first show can be stressful

-calming them down in a dressing room ;)

-kissing them both before they go on then finding your place in the crowd

-seeing them excel at what they love just makes your heart swell because holy fuck they’re amazing and they look so happy

-tour continues. lots of quickies and sex where you could definitely get caught but thats okay

-if Luke and Ashton are ever both MIA, Michael and Cal know what you’re up to

-”jesus fuck you’re both so horny!” Michael screams whenever Luke and Ashton come back from being MIA

-”yeah, you should give the poor girl a break.” Calum laughs

-”she should give us a break.” Luke jokes

-getting to wear Ashton’s button ups and getting Luke’s glitter on your face

-they are really hyper after concerts so that would defo be a thing fam

-Ashton is usually up to be awake longer than Luke so sometimes you sleep with him so Luke can go to bed earlier, but if you’re tired you go with Luke so who you sleep with on the bus really depends on how you’re feeling

-you manage to get a month into the tour before a full on picture of your face gets taken by a pap

-you, Luke and Ash were at breakfast somewhere, Luke was exhausted and cuddled against you

-so of course everyone thinks you’re dating Luke now

-people find your insta super fast it’s almost insane

-”well, cats out of the fucking bag.” Michael laughs when the three of you get back to the hotel

-you and Luke ask Ashton what he wants to do because he’s the one being left out

-deciding that you should all make a post about your relationship

-Luke chooses a super cute picture of the three of you holding hands walking through a venue that Andy took and his caption is short and sweet, something like “3′s not a crowd

-Ashton goes for a super aesthetic black and white picture Andy took of the three of you backstage on a couch, you lying half on top of both of them as you all make dumb faces, and this guy would totally quote one of his own songs lets be real here, maybe “Got nothing but love for you, fall more in love every day.” but idk man, i can’t imitate Ashton’s captions

-and you post a cute pic of the three of you with a caption like “the baes.” or some shit

-fandom. shook.

-and of course as soon as these pictures come out people totally jump on the interview where they said they had dated someone who dated another band member

-can you imagine if you hadn’t actually seen the interview (i mean you can’t see everything they do) and people are tagging you in it and you finally go watch it and you’re just like “oh my god guys what the fuck.”

-okay so lets do some general tour with Lashton HC’s because this is practically a fanfic in bullet points by now

-so. many. aesthetic. pictures

-and they’re both kinda sugar daddies who would love to pamper the shit out of you so on tour they would definitely be getting you new lingerie in almost every city

-”Ashton i don’t need anymore lingerie.” “i don’t half ass things Y/N. i said i was going to buy you a new set in every city and i intend to buy you a new set in every city.” “Luke, help me convince him that i don’t need-” “Y/N i think i’m with Ashton on this one.”

-the raunchiest times in your hotel suites

-like Michael made the mistake of knocking on the door once and Luke appeared holding a pillow over his dick while the rest of him was naked, lipstick stains on his mouth and neck, glitter on his cheekbones, “what do you want?” a scream being heard from inside the hotel room that makes Luke look behind him and laugh, and Michael’s just like “fuck, forget it mate.” and leaves (do i want to make a one shot about this moment? yes. yes i do now.)

-and you totally figure out things that make them super horny so you always pull shit right before concerts

-like Ashton dies when you wear his button ups with a slightly exposed lacy bra underneath

-and Luke will practically cum on the spot when you wear red lipstick

-lots of grabbing because they are impatient as fuck

-Luke loves to carry you around venues

-going out and seeing cities together and all just being so happy and together

-god this is so cute what the fuck am i doing to myself

-and these boys love to see you dance so they’ll take you to clubs but you never stay long because they can’t wait to get you back to the hotel

-half naked dance parties in your hotel rooms

-room service is a thing for you three

-you and Luke staying in bed all cuddly while Ashton goes to the door to get the food

-playing with their beautiful hair

-Luke gets a bit scruffy sometimes on tour and it drives you wild

-almost not being able to head down to the hotel pool because you are so marked up by your lover boys

-but like same for them. you drive their make up team insane because of all the hickies they have to cover up

-straight up one of them sitting you down and being like, “here is a picture of Luke on an average night, his shirts go this low. so if you could please avoid this general area of his body here,” (motions to picture) “i would really appreciate it.”

-you’re living such an insane life

-but like they are on tour with their band so some nights you just stay at the hotel or chill in the bus and they go off with Michael and Cal which is super chill because like, they’re all best friends

-but as soon as they come back they make it up to you ;)

-dirty sweaty post concert sex

-so this is 5.5 k already. don’t know how the fuck that happened

-this is just the golden boy triad and i am in love.

[drsilverfish]

An Angel, and Lucifer’s Kid? Queer-Coding and Dean’s “Found Family” in 14x13 Lebanon

It’s time for some unashamed, LGBTQ subtext-reading Supernatural meta to celebrate Valentine’s Day!

“What, you think you have some kind of special buzz-bedar or whatever?”

(Willow and Kennedy at The Bronze in The Killer in Me, 7x13)

Well.... yeah... 

Because this conversation... in which John said he wished for “a normal life” for Dean...

See the original gifset here:

https://hellgracer.tumblr.com/post/182652253539/thats-right-you-do

This conversation? Pings, hard, for LGBTQ folk....

Here is Ellen’s character on her ground-breaking sitcom, coming out to her parents in 1994 ... (Ellen 4x4 Hello Mudder, Hello Fadder):

ELLEN: “Please understand, that for the first time, I am really, really, happy.”

ELLEN’S DAD: “Oh, so now you’re saying you had a lousy childhood? Your brother Stevie had exactly the same childhood and he turned out perfectly normal” [my italics].

There’s that word.... normal.

Do you remember the title of Larry Kramer’s 1985 play about the HIV/ AIDS crisis in New York (later a 2014 TV drama starring Mark Ruffallo and Matt Bomer)?  

The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual removed homosexuality from its list of “mental disorders” in 1974 (after concerted activist efforts). Before that, homosexuality was officially classified as a psychological “abnormality”. 

Here’s more on the history of that classification and its removal: 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4695779/ 

So that word “normal” (that refrain, “Why can’t you be normal? I want a normal life for you, a normal family...”) resonates in LGBTQ history.  

And when Dean has the above one-on-one conversation with his father, the ghost of John Winchester, pulled-out-of-time, there’s a resonance there (should you choose to accept it). 

Notice it’s Dean who has this particular conversation with John, not Sam. 

And of course, John is thinking about a heterosexual family, marriage to a woman and kids, like the family he had with Mary, way back when. That’s the default assumption for a guy like John, right?

So when Dean answers, “I have a family,” the narrative (given John means a wife and kids - he already knows Dean has his brother) substitutes Castiel and Jack into those negative spaces.

Here they are, Dean’s brother, Dean’s angel and their adopted kid, taking care of said kid at the hospital (as families do) (14x07 Unhuman Nature)

“Found families” which don’t look nuclear and hetero-normative (a significant element of the awkward hospital check-in scene in Unhuman Nature) have been, and continue to be, a significant feature of LGBTQ life, because despite advances in rights and societal acceptance (in the US, where SPN is set) many continue to be rejected by their birth families: 

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/ywbkp7/why-queer-people-need-chosen-families 

https://www.bfi.org.uk/news-opinion/news-bfi/features/families-gay-lesbian-transgender-queer

I’ve argued previously that the Ma’lak box (now officially dubbed, by some wags in this corner of the fandom, the Drama Coffin TM) stands as a metaphor for Dean’s self-repression, and, in a queer subtext reading - for the closet:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182375754379/a-fridge-locker-an-enochian-puzzle-box-a-malak 

I mean, Dean literally builds a box to lock himself inside, in a room full of sexy male pin-ups... 

You have to work hard not to see that...

I’ve also argued previously that AU!Michael has been set up as a dark mirror for Dean’s self-repression/ the ghost of John Winchester (who is the source of Dean’s self-repression):

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/179226151009/queer-gods-and-monsters-14x02

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/182120562849/aumichael-and-the-closet

Now, let’s take a very close look at the moment John arrives at the Bunker in 14x13 Lebanon, with help from the Superwiki transcript:

http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/14.13_Lebanon_(transcript) 

DEAN: “So, what do I…” SAM: “I don’t know. I-I guess you – you hold the pearl and – and concentrate on what your heart desires.” DEAN: “Michael outta my head. Got it.”

And then the lights go to red emergency and the looming ghost of John Winchester appears, punching both his boys to the floor and pointing a gun at them....

Do you see it? Do you see the transition? 

Michael out of Dean’s friggin’ head IS (metaphorically) the ghost of John Winchester (who arrives to red warning lights, with violence and control) aka Dean’s self-repression. So when Dean is able to tell his father, who raised him to be a “good little soldier”, to shoulder parental responsibility for Sammy, to perform a certain kind of masculinity (muscle cars, classic rock, no chick-flick moments) aka to tell his own internal voice of self-repression, proudly that he has a(n unconventional) family - consisting of his brother (whom he “practically raised”) his angel, and their adopted Nephilim son -  well, we can argue that frames Dean (subtextually) as taking a step towards owning his queerness. Particularly as he later tells his brother, “I’m good with who I am.” 

Here, have Cas holding a heart while Dean looks on in 5x14 My Bloody Valentine .

Do you remember Metatron’s angel-fall spell, back in S8?

1) Heart of a Nephilim (product of angel/ human sexual/ romantic congress)

2) Bow of a Cupid

3) Grace of an angel 

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/50579065447/metatrons-spell-the-ingredients-spn-8x23-the 

Specifically, bow of a Cupid who had just helped two dudes fall in love whilst Cas and Dean looked on (narrative mirroring) in 8x23 Sacrifice:

Specifically, Castiel’s own grace. And, yes, I’ve written a meta about how grace is figured as spunk sometimes in SPN here:

http://drsilverfish.tumblr.com/post/173619016494/spunk-of-an-archangel-13x21 )

If you think about those “angel fall” spell ingredients, they’ve (metaphorically) come to fruition in S14. 

Dean’s found family contains: the heart of a Nephilim, in the form of his adopted son, Jack; the grace of Castiel, now living with them (finally) at the Bunker, following Cas’ own long journey after the angel fall. And Jack himself, who, as the offspring of a human/ angel pairing is a huge metaphor for human/ angel love (aka Cupid’s bow). 

And when Dean destroys the pearl, which summoned AU!Michael (metaphorically) out of his head, in the form of the ghost of his father (aka his self-repression) - what happens when that has been faced and laid to rest? The time-line course corrects, and instead of the mind-wiped solider of Heaven, who didn’t know him, Dean gets “his” Castiel back, the one who loves him, his actual heart’s desire.

And... cue intense staring, Romeo and Juliette style, in a closing balcony scene:

Happy Valentine’s Day 2019 Dean and Cas! 

NB: Usual disclaimer - this narrative concerning Dean’s queerness can, and most likely will, continue to be told entirely in subtext, as it has been for 14 seasons now, and for 10 specifically in relation to Castiel - ever since Dean stabbed Cas through the heart at their first meeting in 4x01.

You can read more about what I think about the ethics of continuing to tell this story in subtext under my “Reading Subtext” tag. 

[pillow-anon]

Could you do a smut with Jack or Crutchie subbing for the reader? I'm not particular in headcannon vs. story, whatever will be easier on you.

NSFW- if you are not comfortable with nsfw then keep scrolling, dont forget to drink water

——————————————————————————

i’m kinda new with smut so i’ll do my best!

• all the boys teased and teased about you and Jack being together

• the day you did get together they immediately started the teasing about him “taking you up to the penthouse”

• they joked mostly about they swore they heard you screaming jacks name and how he had his wonderful way with you

• but it was quite the opposite

• jack wasn’t as dominant as the boys believed

• nono this boy is so damn submissive for you it’s ridiculous

• that night you had just gotten back from a walk with him

• it was late so you went straight up to the penthouse

• crutchies leg was acting up, so he stayed inside

• anyways

• jack brings you over to where he sleeps and you guys are leaning against the railings as you share short kisses

• the kisses increase in intesity as time goes on

• your hands are around his collar

• they pull him closer

• he wraps his larger hands around your waist

• he tries to pull you in his lap

• once there you continued kissing him, but your lips traveled down

• they ran along his jaw

• they ran down his neck, where they left slight marks and bites

• his head was tilted, his eyes were closed

• so you keep going down

• you unbutton his shirt as you go, leaving soft kisses behind

• his hand slips into your hair already, as if hes trying to rush you

• “don’t go gettin’ desperate on me” you say

• his hand stays though

• finally your at his button, which you quickly undo

• your eyes flick back up to him as you tug at his pants

• his breathing is quick and noticeable already

• “ya want me that bad baby?”

• he nods, because this boy is already speechless

• “you gotta be a good boy for me”

• he nodded again

• “c’mon just, please” he mumbles, his voice no longer the strong voice it usually was

• so you happily agree and pull his pants all the way down to his knees

• he was hard already, obviously

• as your tongue ran along the side of him he let out a small noise

• his hand moved in your hair

• “you want more?”

• “gosh please”

• the feeling of your mouth around him was his absolute favorite

• as your head bobbed he let out weak noises

• your pace sped up and so did his noises

• but you wouldn’t let him finish just yet

• he whined as you pulled off

• “doll please”

• you shook your head as you kept your hand on him

• it pumped slow

• “c’mon, please i need ya”

• your lips brushed against his as you spoke

• “what do ya need love? huh? tell me exactly what you need”

• his eyes looked into your as he spoke

• “i need to be inside ya or something just please”

• you pulled your skirt up and pulled at your cheap undergarments

• “you want me to ride you hm?”

• oh that boy has never nodded so quick

• his hands reached to pull at your skirt

• “ready?” you asked softly, though still just as seductive as before

• he nodded again

• you lowered yourself down on him, letting out your own whine to match his

• “fuck” he mumbled

• his hips pushed even farther up into you

• you bit your lip to suppress a loud moan

• you sat for a second and looked him in the eye

• “that feel good love?”

• he just tried to move his hips again

• you stopped him quick, nearly pulling off

• “no, you can’t move. if you move i wont let ya finish. no touchin’ me or ya self. that clear?”

• he nodded again, his hands pulling away from you

• you linked your hands with his before you lifted yourself up and back down on him slow

• your lip stayed between your teeth as you kept your slow teasing pace up

• jack became a small mess under you

• his hands squeezed yours as you got a bit quicker

• “oh jackie” you moaned softly

• that alone made him moan loudly

• you kept your pace slow and forever teasing

• “fuck, more please” he begged

• you stopped again

• “oh well thats no way to ask now is it?”

• “doll..”

• “nope”

• “ma’am please, please i need ya to fuck me so damn bad”

• with that you started to move a lot quicker

•you bounced up and down after letting his hands go

• he still kept them away like you told him too

• “ya wanna touch me? baby boy?”

• he looked up at you and nodded, his hands grabbing the railing for now

• “alright, you can move”

• his hands immediately held your hips as you continue to ride him quick

• they gripled hard and nearly pulled you back down every time you lifted yourself

• all the moans were loud

• “‘m, ‘m gonna cum doll” he told you, his eyes fluttering shut but his pace staying

• but you pulled off despite your own whine

• you dipped back down and wrapped a hand around him before wrapping your lips around him

• his whining didnt decrease, along with your speed

• you moved quick and you could feel how close he was

• your name fell from his lips in mumbles and moans as he came right onto your tongue

• his cheeks turned a bright red when he watched you take your tongue back in your mouth to swallow

• you came back up and laid a few more kisses on his neck

• he let out a few sighs

• “you’re so good for me” you told him

• “i love you so much”

• his lips turned into a small smile as he responded with another i love you

• you didn’t care that you didnt finish yourself, because wll you wanted to do was please him in one way or another

• but he returned the favor anyways

AHHH i lowkey feel like this sucks but its like my forst so I’ll obviously get more into later. Also ive never written an x reader before so that was weird but yeah i hope this is okay :’)

[arwenadreamer]

What the hell did just happen on this show?

Seriously, what the hell did I just watch there?

The question wether we like Claire and the other girls aside, I can´t believe how this episode was written!

* How far away from the rift where Sam and Dean thrown, when they fell through? They couldn´t see this clowing in the dark (as well as in daylight) portal anymore? Serously?

* They wandered around in the area for two days (and nights) and couldn´t find it??????????????? I just don´t get it.

* But they must have been so close, because it only took them a minute to get there with the girls help! WHY COULDN´T THEY FIND IT ON THEIR OWN?

* Claire is SAVING the boys. Who even said they need saving? How did they know? FINDING them would have sounded much more realistic. They were just stuck in an AU. Dean spent a year in freaking purgatory. And even Sam said, he should have LOOKED for him, not SAVED him. For some reason that emphazised SAVING really annoyed me.

* Claire kills three werewolfs without batting an eyelash? One is sitting on top of her, but she just throws him around and sits on top of him? I´m sorry, but how is that even physical posibble? A girl with her weight, a guy that muscular and big. And I´m not even talking about special werewolf strengh yet.

* I couldn´t help it, I stopped the time. Sam and Dean where Seen for exactly 4 minutes and 25 seconds in this whole episode. Why dare they call that supernatural? (The fleshbacks from Kayas recall about what happened are not included in this time, since those where no new scenes.)

* What were those monsters? Aliens? Seriously, how dare they call THAT Supernatural. That has nothing to do with the original show about urban legends, where every monster could just as well live in your neighbourhood.

* And that giant dinosaur at the end? Was that supposed to be godzilla or what? We have seen such amazing special effects this season with Jacks powers and the rifts and all. But that? That was just crappy. As if they had filmed a cheap dinosaur toy.

Between these parts that really annoyed me, I was just bored.

But hey, I liked the lizard scene! Which was one and a half minutes. So I enjoyed one and a half minutes today.

Thats not what I paid for. (Yes, I´m paying, to watch it in germany as soon as it is on. )

I would have loved a good Spin Off, especially with Jody and Donna. Jody is my favourite character on the show of all time, right after Sam and Dean.

But I won´t pay for that. Certainly not.

[that-fandom-tho]

Swerve (Jack Johnson)

Can you make a imagine about Sammy, Nate, and Jack G all fighting over Y/N and the guys try to make the other two jealous and you can pick the ending? Sorry for being so specific or if it sounds confusing.

Y/N/N= Your nick name

I walked into the party looking for the one I’d been most excited to see all week. After a quick scan of the crowd it was obvious he wasn’t in the room I’d walked into. I checked my texts over again, only to see nothing from him since this morning when we talked, where he only said the address. I considered calling him, but he wouldn’t be able to hear me anyway, and the house wasn’t that big. I could do a little searching.

I stopped in the kitchen, which was the next room over, where there was also no sign of him. I did decide to grab a drink though. There were buckets and coolers on the floor filled with beer bottles and cans and hard ciders and lemonades. I started digging through, looking for a plain old Sprite. I never could get myself into drinking, even though I’d just turned 21.

As I searched another cooler, a pair of crisp white air forces appeared next to me. As I looked up, I was lead to the tall body connected to them.

“Anything I can help you with?” he asked.

“Yah. Have you seen any Sprites around here?” I replied. I stood, only to come to his shoulder. I quickly took in his features: jawline that could cut steel, beautiful brows, and a smoulder that would have most if not all girls dropping their panties in seconds.

“Uhm, there wouldn’t be any in those, but there should be one..” he turned and opened the fridge. “Right here,” he pulled a can out of the fridge and handed it to me.

I smiled, “Thanks. You live here?”

“Nah, but I’m here a lot, this is my buddy’s place. And what exactly brings you here? I’m Jack by the way, but most call me G or Gilinsky.”

“I’m Y/N,” I told him, “thats just what everyone calls me.” He laughed. “And actually, I was here becau-“

I was cut off by another attractive guy approaching us. “G! There you are, man! And who is this pretty lady with you?” New guy held out his hand and I reached out to shake it, however he changed direction and brought my hand delicately to his mouth, kissing my knuckles and giving me a sexy smirk and wink.

Had I not come here tonight with a purpose and another person in mind I may have been sorely tempted by both of them. As I was about to speak Gilinsky wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him.

“This, is the lovely Y/N,” he said. I looked up at him to see him glaring at the other guy.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Y/N,” he said, still holding my hand. “I’m Sammy. Come hit me up once this dude starts boring you,” he said.

“Not gonna happen,” G said. “I was actually just about to give her a tour.”

“Do you really want him to give you a tour?” Sammy asked. I opened my mouth, not knowing what was going to come out, but I was quickly interrupted. “Fuck it, I’ll come with you guys. Maybe get to know Y/N here a little better,” he added, smiling down at me.

Gilinsky was already at one of my sides with his arm still around me when Sammy takes a place on my other side. G’s arm is suddenly gone from around my shoulders and I look just in time to see that it was Sammy who threw it off.

We start walking towards the next room, which I think is the living room, and I can see the silent communication in their facial expressions as they make eye contact with each other. Are they fighting over me?

“So, um, guys, this-“

“Hey! What is a beautiful woman like you doing with these bums? They dragged you along didn’t they?”

“Nate shut up!” One of the guys says from behind me.

“Yah!” The other agrees.

“See how rude they are?” Who I now know is Nate says. He’s probably the most rugged out of all three, with his man bun and stubble and the dangerous look in his eyes and harsh set of his jaw. “I’m Nate by the way,” he adds.

We go through introductions again and then he grows closer to me and Jack and Sammy argue over something a few feet behind.

Nate leans down, assuringly so that I can hear him better since the speakers are blasting in here. “You know, you look tense, like you could use a blunt. We should go outside. It’s way quieter put there, we can just chill.” We’re already walking into the basement, where there’s less people. I see a path door and assume that’s where he means.

“Hey!” Jack and Sam yell. “What are you doing with Y/N? We saw her first.”

“Yah but she likes me more,” he argues.

They all start arguing, talking over one another. Suddenly I’m in the middle of a pool of testosterone and noise. I walk out of the middle of the three of them and finally see who I’ve been looking for all night. There he is, with his crazy blonde hair and cute glasses.

“Johnson!” I call.

He looks up from his phone, confused. Once he spots me he smiles and runs over. I hug him tightly and he does the same, burying his face in my neck.

“Hey, baby,” he says, lifting his face to give me a quick kiss. “I’ve been texting you.”

“You have? I checked like 15 minutes ago and I had nothing. Then, those guys distracted me,” I nod over to them, where they’ve stopped fighting and now just look confused.

“Well, I was going to introduce you to my friends but I guess you’ve already met them.”

They walk over. “How do you know Y/N?” Sammy asks.

He leaves just one arm wrapped around my waist and kisses my forehead, “This is the girlfriend I’ve been telling you guys about. What did you fools do to her?”

“This is the girlfriend you’ve been talking about?”

“This is Y/N/N? The one you’ve been seeing for 5 months and wouldn’t let us meet?” Gilinsky inquires.

“Yup. I didn’t want you guys scaring her off. If she didn’t already like me you probably would have tonight.”

“Damn, you weren’t kidding when you said she was hot.” Nate added.

“Back off, she’s mine. Find your lonely ass somebody else.”

Nate immediately lifted his hands in surrender. “Alright alright, no need to be so harsh.”

“Well I guess now I gotta apologize for coming on so strong. Sorry, Y/N,” Sam says.

“You came onto my girl?” JJ asked threateningly.

“Oh calm down, it was just mild flirting.” I told I’m as I reached around to hug him. “He didn’t know I was taken. It’s okay Sammy.”

“See? I like her,” Sammy replied, “Thank you Y/N.”

I smiled at him while Jack still just glared. “Whatever, don’t try it again. You ready to go sweetheart? Back to my place?” he asked me. I nodded and he kissed me one last time before holding my hand and leading me out, leaving all three boys behind.

Masterlist

Prompt List - to be updated  —— A/N: Thanks for reading, hope you liked it. And thanks to the requester, this was fun to write. I love when people let me pick the end, I always put it in a different direction. Omg it’s been a while y’all. I’m sorry to anyone who requested anything because its literally been 6 months. And boy a lot has happened. I moved, I took the ACT (and did damn good tyvm), I got my license, I got a car, I went out of state by myself for the first time for a week (that was great too), saw and was taught some things through these experiences, and I’ve definitely started to feel more like I have to be an adult than ever before. The amount of questions I’ve been asked about my future is ridiculous. I DON’T FUCKING KNOW AND I PROBABLY WON’T FOR A LONG TIME SO GET OVER IT, is all I want to say to them. But they’re adults, and I kinda need their support so I can’t say that. Anyway, here’s one of the requests. Also, I got 10+ requests for a part 2 to send my love, thanks for all the love I received on that by the way. I really didn’t expect anyone to want a part 2 even though it is, in my opinion one of the best imagines, or pieces in general that I’ve ever written. Anyways I’ve already written and finished that so I’ll probably put it up tomorrow, just to give it some buildup y’know? I put in my best effort so I hope y’all like it. Sorry for the long note, but 6 months leaves you with a lot to say. It’s starting to look like this is a summer hobby type thing, which I don’t want it to be. I love writing these and I want to get back to doing it often. I guess just with my schedule, combined with every ogoc guy (aside from Johnson but thats tbd) having a girlfriend now, writing got a little hard. But I’m stepping up my game. I gotchu.

Peace y’all, that-fandom-tho

[lupismaris]

For the tv series ask: Black Sails!

Oh boy oh boy oh bOY

1- favorite character of all time?

James Flint McGraw. 100%. Granted, John Silver is so close behind him that its a tricky choice. But James is without a doubt my favorite character. Both because of his story, how well i relate to it, and because hes just an over dramatic shit who has never had an ounce of chill. I love him.

2- character i used to dislike but now love?

I never outright disliked him, but Charles Vane really grew on me through seasons 2 and 3. I think seeing him grow as a person, become himself, and stand for something greater than just gold made him a really wonderful character in my mind. Im in denial, at the very least.

3- character i used to like who i dislike now?

Dufresne. Like holy fuck dude you rip out a mans throat with your teeth and im thinking youre gonna be so much fun and then you turn into a weasly little shit who throws slurs at disabled people and betrays his crew. Like nah boy. Nah.

4- character im indifferent about?

Honestly i think eleanor, while being fascinating, interests me the least. I cant pinpoint why exactly, but while i respect her struggle and her various victories, she kinda exhausts me at times.

5- character who deserved better?

Miranda Hamilton and Mr Scott. Both get picked because they were such phenomenal people and their endings, while serving plot, left me feeling a tad bitter. Ill add Charles Vane as an aside, because im still in denial.

6- ship i cant get into?

Eleanor and Vane. To me, it seemed too toxic and too manipulative to be healthy and truly love. But thats just me.

7- ship i wont get over?

FlintSilver and FlintHamilton, aka the two canon ships that will haunt me until i die.

8- cute lokey ship?

Idk i like the idea of Ben and Billy. Its cute. Also Vane joining the poly trio of jack/anne/max because he needs love. And ot4 madi/silver/flint/thomas.

9- unpopular ship i enjoy?

Eh, i cant think of one?

10- ship that should never have been?

Im not crazy about eleanor and rogers but tbh i think youre not supposed to enjoy that one so idk. Not a fan.

11- favorite moment or story line?

YOU EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE??

Aaauuugghhh ok uhm well fuck, the entire “finding out about thomas” plot line like holy fuck, the “flint and silver carrying each other through the darkness” plot, the “max anne and jack figure out how to be happy” plot, every moment that flint cannot contain his sass, blackbeard being the king of no chill, jack rackham judging the world and woodes rogers, madi just existing, flint being violent against people who wronged him, flint being shook by powerful women like all the time, flint being 100% dad and 100% done, silver killing duresne after being called half a dozen slurs like goddamn i am still recovering from that, silver being a delightful little shit every five minutes, every monologue that flint has, know no shame-

Literally there are too fuckin many

12- plot you think should never have been written?

Its not something that shouldnt be written, but something i wish we saw more of, and thats madi and silver’s relationship. We dont get a lot of time to see them fall in love, and id have liked to see more of their growth together.

Also im in denial about charles so theres that.

13- first thoughts?

I had expected Black Sails to be like every other gritty, dark show about white dudes on tv. I had heard tidbits of good things but wasnt willing to be impressed. I mean, i love pirates, the whole aesthetic and idealism of pirates, i enjoy period pieces, and i enjoy a good bit of well choreographed violence. But the likelihood that it would be just like every other show on tv made me wary at first, so i put it off for a while. But when my boyfriend binged seasons 1-3 in as many days, i caved, expecting to be disappointed.

14- my thoughts now?

I have three Black Sails tattoos planned. I have “Know No Shame” in the bio of almost every social media account i use, i have been adding all the books mentioned in the show to my library, i have been telling everyone i come across to watch this show, i dragged my girlfriend into the abyss with me. I have cried more for this show than i have cried over any other media, and that includes any superheroes or harry potter or books.

The story morale, of love being our guiding principle, of fighting for who you are and your place in the world- the fact that the lead protagonist is an emotionally vulnerable bisexual man, that there are multiple queer characters and poly amorous arrangements, disabled characters who are strong and treated with respect, that the notion of liberation and freedom and the darkness being a home when civilization casts us aside-

This show has effected me in ways i would have never in my life anticipated or prepared for. I dont think i will ever be able to fully express the impact this show, this story, and most importantly these characters, have had on me as a person.

The simplest way to say it- it has made me braver, more willing to face the world as i am.

And maybe thats ridiculous. But what the show has given me, the lessons spoken by the characters, has given me footing, something to look to when im afraid.

Lmao so yeah thats black sails im gonna go hide in my pit of pirate despair now