#HOW IS HE GOING TO WANT TO KILL HIM DUMB DONUT

[eightspringdays]

sometimes... sometimes i really have to hold myself by the neck to not be a shooter with certain things I read here that are so fucking bad takes that make me wanna grow lasers in my eyes, but this ain't twitter, and ain't 2018. and im a changed woman.

[pricetagofficial]

Day 25: Christmas

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader

Warnings: Language, fluff and Jason is a slight menace here

A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! If you don't celebrate Christmas, Happy Holidays and if you don't celebrate anything, Happy Wednesday! I hope you all have a great day! Here we are on the final day of this challenge, and I can't thank you all enough for supporting me this last month. Maybe I will do another in the future? Header by me, and divider by @cafekitsune

Masterlist

It had finally arrived, it was Christmas Day.

You and Dick had stayed over at Wayne Manor the previous night because he really wanted to spend the holiday with his family. It was a rare sight to have everyone under the same roof, including some other friends.

Of course, you had the normal residents like Damian, Cass and Bruce, plus Jason and Tim and Duke who frequently dropped by. However, there was also the extended family, like Stephanie, Barbara, and even Selina.

The day was going to be special, you just knew it.

Everyone was old enough to not believe in Santa, but everyone still made stockings for each other as part of their gift exchange.

Every year, everyone's names would be thrown into a hat and then drawn. Whoever you drew, would be the person you got a special gift for, and help stuff their stocking,

This year, you were lucky enough to get Dick.

The man may be a certified genius and world class detective, but he was still dumb as hell.

In fact, you did quite a bit of his Christmas shopping in front of his face and he was none the wiser.

Wrapping yourself in your robe, you and Dick slowly made your way down to the kitchen for the first cup of Christmas coffee. Alfred already had pastries, and other sweet treats galore ready to be eaten.

Wrapping an arm around you, Dick pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

"Merry Christmas, Dickie." you smiled, pecking his lips.

"You have to do that here? I think I'm gonna hurl."

Dick looked up to see Jason, fake gagging into his coffee with a donut in his other hand.

"I will kill you," Dick paused. "Again,"

Jason laughed as he took a bite of his donut. "Many a goon have tried wonder pants, and many a goon have failed."

Dick just glared. "None of them are me, so shut up."

That's when Duke showed up and pushed Jason out of the room before he was murdered again. "You'll thank me for this later,"

You rolled your eyes and grabbed a plate, and filled it before joining Dick on the couch by the tree and the fireplace.

Everyone was gathered, idle chatter filling the room as Bruce came in with Selina at his side.

"Merry Christmas, everyone." he smiled, taking his seat as Selina sat on the arm of the chair.

Gifts were passed around, stockings were dumped, and paper was ripped open. Exclamations of excitement were all around as everyone was in awe at their gifts from each other.

Getting up, you grabbed Dick's stocking and his present from you. Looking to your right, you saw he grabbed your stocking and a small box as well.

What were the odds that you got each other?

Sitting back together on the couch, you handed Dick his stuff and watched with a smile as he opened it. You had gotten him new hair care stuff, a personalized watch to go on his wrist and even a cheap Nightwing mug for him to take to work everyday, at the police station.

Dick chuckled as he went through is stuff, before getting to your bag that you had wrapped for him.

Gently he pulled out the paper, and saw that it was a framed poster from a long time ago.

You had found one of the last Haly's Circus posters that featured himself along with his parents, and framed it.

If you didn't know Dick so well, you would've missed the slight tear he expertly blinked away. Instead he surged forward and pulled you into a tight embrace.

"You are amazing, how the hell did you find this?"

Scooting closer, you looked at the poster with him.

"Read the bottom,"

Dick looked a little confused until he looked.

It's been a while kid, I'm glad to hear you're doing great. When your girl came to me asking if I had anything, I knew just what to give you. This is the last one I owned, keeping it safe for a moment like this. She's real special, Dick. Don't do anything stupid, you hear?

Love your old friend, Haly

Dick turned to you in astonishment. "You found Haly and his circus?"

"You talk about him all the time, so I wanted to get you something really special. He just so happened to be in Midwest City last month, so Wally and Barry helped me get down there so I could meet him," you explained.

"Haly really is a great guy, I can see why you loved his circus so much."

Dick hugged you tightly, not letting go.

"This is the best present I have ever gotten, thank you, baby."

Beaming up at him, you smiled. "Your welcome, Dick."

Rubbing the back of his head, Dick handed you your stocking and present. "Now I feel kind of lame, with what I got you."

Taking his hand, you smiled. "Nothing from you is ever lame, Grayson."

Dick smiled, holding you close as you emptied your stocking. It had new bath stuff, complete with a bath bomb, soap, body spray, and a candle all in your favorite scent.

Getting to the bottom, you pulled out a pair of fuzzy socks that had the Nightwing logo across it.

Letting out a laugh, you leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"Now, I will always have you with me,"

Dick smiled, watching as you opened the little box.

Inside was a custom designed necklace and earrings. They had a beautiful gem on them, in his signature blue.

"Oh, Dick. This is gorgeous," you exclaimed taking it out. "I love it!"

Dick took the necklace as you turned, to help you put it on.

"It's amazing."

"An amazing gift, for an amazing girl."

You leaned up and kissed him softly.

"Merry Christmas, Dick."

Merry Christmas, my love."

[diamondzoey]

Sammy: *eating a cinnamon roll*

Duarte: Cannibalism.

Sammy: *confused chewing noises*

——————————————————————————

Adriana: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Victor : An apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

——————————————————————————

Victor : What’s up with Azren ? He’s been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Nash : He’s just a little overwhelmed.

Victor : Why?

Nash : jemma smiled at him.

——————————————————————————

When some of the bugs babysits Asher

Emerald: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Duarte, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Asher, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Duarte: Because they have little hands

——————————————————————————

Teacher: Your child was in a fight.

Jemma : Oh no, that’s terrible!

Azren: Did they win?

——————————————————————————

Duarte : Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Victor: Literally or figuratively?

Duarte : I have to specify?

——————————————————————————

Raine: Two truths and a lie, I’ll start!

Raine: I’ve killed a man, I will kill again, and it burns when I pee.

Joan, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t like this game.

——————————————————————————

Duarte , looking at a dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

——————————————————————————

Actress!Jemma: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Actor!Azren: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

——————————————————————————

Korey: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Marco, used to Korey being dumb: Sure...

Korey: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Marco: Okay?

Korey: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Marco:

Korey: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Marco: Divines, that one is a little-

Adriana , interested: No, no, Korey, keep going.

——————————————————————————

Azren : Do you love me? 
Jemma: We’re literally married. 
Azren : Yeah, but as friends or—

——————————————————————————

Azren, points at the guards: Distract them! I'll be right back! *leaves*

Victor: Okay!

*five minutes later*

Azren: *returns and sees the guards unconscious on the ground* What did you do? I said distract them, not knock them out!

Victor: There's just no pleasing you sometimes.

——————————————————————————

*after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong*

Adriana : Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding Easton.

Void : For the record, I already found him.

Malachi: And you let him get away before we could have a meaningful conversation.

Void: They stabbed me!

Adriana : I'm surprised they waited this long, Vincent . We've all had the urge.

——————————————————————————

Jemma to Sammy: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are.

Vincent, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Jemma: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.

——————————————————————————

Bloodmoon!Chester : Emerald , my old friend!

Bloodmoon!Emerald : I think you tried to kill me at some point.

Bloodmoon!Chester : That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

——————————————

Bugs and croc boy in this

Sammy- @ccstiles

Duarte- @puffin-smoke

Adriana- @idontevenknow7878

Victor&Vincent- @littlesiren79

Void- @wilderrorcard

Nash- @lightdragon789

Malachi- @stxph-artist

Korey- @rozeliyawashereyall

Azren- @strayharmony943

Raine- @willowve01

Joan- @rustycopper4use

Emerald- @aspenm00n

Marco- @magebunkshelf

Chester- @not-5-rats

Jemma- @diamondzoey (me)

[sketchehm]

If you do rewatch run I definitely recommend 1-10 for this au's purposes. After that I do really like 11-13 which is the chorus arc that doesn't really have anything to do with the other ones, but it does have callbacks and stuff for it. It's a war arc a d we do not have enough characters lmaoooo maybe if I get to know more of the hispanic community later it'll be something, but I stopped really watching at around season 15. After that, it just kinda loses me lmao.

With red team, I kinda saw velvet as a donut/grif hybrid. Donut was a nice guy who made a ton of sexual innuendos, and kind of repressed, but red team let him do all of his hobbies and didn't really care. Also, I can totally see ant being Simmons and velvet being the grif of that base. They're just already together because I want a good healthy relationship in the sea of terrible shit going on. Although I can totally see Sam being the Simmons as well. Both ant and Sam have that asskissing for bad locked down so velvet and Callahan just do whatever lmao.

With blue team, I slept on it and I really want sapnap to be apart of blood gulch. So I'll have him be both :D. So in rvb the leader of blue team was agent Florida before he died, but he happened to die of an allergy, and that's how blood gulch kinda happened the way it did. SO I'll have sapnap be the agent that's supposed to watch over George and it'll make it so much more dramatic when Dream comes as tex because of the history. He just won't die like Flordia, and it'll be funny dramatic shenanigans of Dream and sapnap being super awesome freelancers. I still will have Dream and george "die" in dumb ways because it's rvb.

Alsoooo yeah the Carolina drama will kind of happen during blood gulch due to sapnap being there. I also have serpias being York for totally non shipping reasons totally....

The only thing that kind of throws of George being church is church is always angry and George never is angry. Sooooo I'll have him just always never take anything seriously, and all the stuff that's technically his fault or his other interactions fault is the fact he never really cares about others and how he affects them. George cares ALOT about the people around him, but he never shows it in healthy ways or does things to only make himself feel better. That's the reason Dream's even around anymore and him having to learn to let people go. It's gonna hurt my soul to make George and dream go through the church/tex arc, but it'll be an awesome storyline.

I need to flesh out team mafia storyline a lot more, and who's gonna fit the type of roles they serve other than cool fit scenes and family that destroys themselves from the inside kind of thing. I'm gonna change stuff around, but I'm gonna try to keep more than 2 of them alive lmao. It'll be sad times if I have to kill most of the mafia, and I want fun shenanigans with them as well, so the normal plot line wouldn't have worked out as well. Also just want to know who makes puns in the mafia the most because they'll get to be Wyoming lmao.

Anyways, sad and funny plotlines to come because rvb can never take itself to seriously.

I guess I'm watching rvb for Christmas this year LMAO

I've read this a billion times cause I love it so much and I need to rewatch so I can understand all the characters personalities better orz

George as Church does drive me crazy cause he was a messy idiot from what I recall and George is just another flavor of messy idiot!

Sapnap is 100% part of blood gultch and 100% forgets his mission being there, always caught up in arguing with George about the most ridiculous of things (technically it is part of his mission, he's keeping an eye on George!!)

Dream finally arriving and Sapnap is like !! Omg my bff!! I imagine it's Sapnap trying to get Dream to chill out and take this as a vacation! And then George does something to piss Sapnap off and it's just Dream watching the two of them chase each other around and yelling. What the fuck kind of missions did they send him on....And then it's George dragging Dream around and asking for help and to "save him" and it's just causing Dream to "die" over and over with George due to misadventures hehhe

Dream and George going through the church/tex arc will destroy me, I vaguely remember it and remember being Sadden and Upset....(can't wait to relive it!)

Most of team mafia dying just gives squidcraft 3 vibes orz I actually don't recall that happening very well in rvb at all so that'll be fun to watch pfft

[sylkiddsey]

K.

It’s Sylvie’s birthday and he wants to surprise her with breakfast on shift. He’s missed out on holidays while in Portland so he does his best to go above and beyond for her no matter how important the date is.

Her birthday is very important to him because it’s the day his favorite person in the world was born. She thinks all the fussing he does is unnecessary, but she deserves it.

He brings four boxes of donuts to 51. Chloe told him about this shop about an hour away that makes donuts with all sorts of cereals and candy on the frosting which couldn’t remind him more of his fiancé. Kidd teases her that three things make her the happiest; babies, sugar and himself.

Two out of three aren’t bad for the first part of her celebration. He walks in, expecting more of a reaction over donuts, but the app floor is empty.

He walks to the common room and Kidd ambushes him.

She steers him by the shoulders and towards the bunk room. It baffles him.

He shoos her off with one hand, balancing the boxes in the other. “What is your problem?”

“Who said I had a problem?” She plays dumb. “I just…want to show you my office. I haven’t given you a tour!”

What is going on? Kidd’s acting high and it’s like she’s trying to keep him from the common room.

“Kidd, it’s the size of a supply closet. I’ve seen it. If you excuse me, I want to surprise my fiancé with birthday donuts.”

She blocks him. “What’s the rush? You know, we never talk anymore, Casey. Let’s go to my office and have a chat!”

Her enthusiasm is incredibly fake and he’s half convinced there’s a gas leak or something because this is all very strange.

“Why don’t you want me to see Sylvie?” He asks, eyeing his former candidate. His mind goes into overdrive and he starts to worry that something is wrong. Is she hurt and Kidd doesn’t want him to know?

“What? I do. It’s just…this is about our friendship, Casey. I’m worried we’re losing our…thing. You can see your fiancé all the time. Not me.”

She really doesn’t want him to find Sylvie. Her lying is pathetic.

“It’s her birthday, Kidd.”

She bites her lip. “Okay. Okay.” She grabs his arm and ushers him into the locker room. “Listen, Violet’s out sick today so Brett has a floater as a partner.”

He’s still not sure what that has to do with her kidnapping him in the locker room. “Okay?”

“Anyway, the floater…he’s a little touchy,” she explains.

“Touchy?”

“He’s harmless, Casey, but he’s kinda a flirt.”

Great.

“And we all know you go a little macho when people get a little too friendly with Brett so it’s best you don’t go in there.”

Yeah, he has a tendency to act a little jealous, but he’s always been able to handle himself…for the most part. Still, the idea of her partner crowding Sylvie all shift does set his jaw.

“See? There you go looking like you’re ready to kill somebody and you haven’t even seen this guy.”

Is he really that easy to read?

“I’m fine, Kidd.”

“Yeah, and Kelly’s not afraid of snakes.” She pauses. “He is. It’s weird.”

“Yeah, I got that.”

“Matt, what are you doing here!”

He turns around. Sylvie’s standing in the doorway with a bright smile on her face.

“Happy birthday, baby,” he replies. “I brought you those donuts Chloe’s been raving about.”

She bounces over, opening the lid. Her eyes light up. “Oh my god, Matt Casey! I love you like crazy for this!”

She grabs his face in her hands and kisses him, smacking her lips afterwards. “You’re the best future husband a girl could ask for.”

She’s the best future wife. Plus, he doesn’t think bringing her donuts is the most revolutionary thing in the world. She deserves all the love. Always.

He wraps his free arm around her waist and pulls her in. His face is pressed in her shoulder when her temporary partner emerges the way she came.

Matt gives him a look without blatantly acting like a dick. He just needs her partner to get the hint and they’ll be fine.

Sylvie takes the top box from his arms. “Come on. These are totally gonna give 51 a heart attack.”

He follows after her and grins in delight when she raves about the donuts. It’s so good to see her so happy and carefree.

He decides to hang around the house which Severide accuses him of doing over jealousy. That’s not the reason. What’s so wrong with wanting to spend Sylvie’s birthday with her?

He loves her. It’s that simple.

Sylvie’s temporary partner, who he learns goes by Dallas, is a little too close for comfort. He crowds her space when she tells a story and brushes his hand against hers when she accidentally spills some coffee.

It’s annoying, but he’s determined to prove Stella wrong. He can handle watching an overly flirty person with Sylvie.

He excuses himself to leave after Dallas starts asking about Sylvie’s work out routine. Yes, she’s toned. She goes to spin classes regularly. She deserves the praise, but it’s driving him absolutely nuts.

He’s worried he’ll snap so he finds Boden in his office and makes conversation about anything other than Sylvie. He also goes in to ask if Violet’s expected to be back next shift.

Boden reads him like a book, smirking after he asks the question. He looks down at his paperwork. “Casey.”

“What? I’m just…you know, concerned. I can’t care about Makami’s well being?”

Boden shakes his head. “Kidd has eyes everywhere, just so you know.”

Wait, so Boden is in on this plan to keep him away from Dallas and Sylvie? Apparently everyone thinks he’s a bomb about to go off.

Kidd probably has some sort of bet pool going on about how long it’s going to take for him to say something.

“Right. Yep. Forget I said anything,” he mutters, retreating out the door. He’s not giving Kidd ammunition.

He stops in front of Boden’s office. Sylvie’s standing in the doorway and Dallas is crowding her. He knows his fiancé and she looks uncomfortable. Her back is flushed against the door frame and her stupid partner has given her zero space.

It’s common curtesy to leave personal space. He’d be irritated if this guy was crowding anyone.

Dallas, her ridiculously tall, temporary partner swoops in and touches a strand of her hair. That move does it.

Screw it. He doesn’t care if all of 51 is right. He’s so sick of this. He’s going to tell that man to keep his hands to himself.

He makes his way there, but once again, Kidd intervenes and herds him into the old blue room.

She shuts the door behind them.

This woman is so aggravating sometimes. She’s perfect for Severide in that way.

“Kidd, I’ve been patient, but come on! He’s touching her face now? And she’s clearly hating every second. Did you see her body language?”

“Brett can handle him,” She replies. “She’s been handling it and the last thing she needs is your male posturing on her birthday.”

“You’d be losing your shit if some woman walked in here and started feeling up Severide,” Matt points out. “We’d have to probably pry your hands off the woman’s throat. I’m not acting unreasonable here. Someone needs to say something.”

“She’s stuck with grabby hands the rest of shift. He’ll never be back and all you’re going to do is cause problems. She has to work with him another eight hours. It’s best to keep the peace.”

He combs a hand through his hair. He knows she’s right. He doesn’t want to make this harder on Sylvie and causing a scene will do that.

He exhales, reminding himself that Sylvie would shut it down if things got too serious. If she’s suffering through it, so can he.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“And your fists closed?”

He nods. “I’ll be a perfect gentlemen to that asshole.”

Stella doesn’t look like she believes him. She purses her lips.

“I’m serious. I’m good,” he assures. He is. He needs to be for Sylvie. “Now can I please go outside and sneak off to the turn out room to make out with my fiancé?”

She smirks, steps away from the door and gestures him through. “Yes.”

When he walks out, Sylvie’s alone by the printer. She smiles, looking between him and Stella.

“What were you up to?”

Kidd tosses a hand in the air, breezing past them. “Saving a man’s life.”

She puzzles, shuffling closer to him. Her arms wrap around his waist. “You guys were what?”

He doesn’t want to dwell on her temporary partner anymore. “You wanna go make out?”

“Um, duh,” she laughs, hooking her finger around his belt loop and pulling him into the room he was just in with Kidd.

[dailyautophagy]

RIP WORMS

Something is definitely happening and I don’t think it’s the two donuts I ate this morning

It might just be the TWO CHOCOLATE GLAZED DONUTS FROM DUNKIN THAT I ATE THIS MORNING and genuinely considered throwing up which I have not considered bulimia in a hot minute so thanks young black drunk in love chick lol the fuck - yo also makes me want Bailey back lmao ridiculous. AT HIM. Not even at me. Ridiculous at him for not wanting me to be obsessed with him. In the words of the xfileswaifulady (recently married evidently congrats?) I AM A GIFT.

if you were naughty for the year and received COAL I guess I mean honestly I’m not that bad and coal is useful but not as useful as dis mouf youknowwhatimsayin

Okay back to the worms inside me that I’m tryna kill

it might not work because

because why

Wine

Maybe

I don’t know

Also something i read online was like … for hookworms you can take it every day for three days

And I don’t think I’m that stupid - like to indicate that I would have hookworms - but maybe - and also I like want to take it more

I just don’t want to die about it

But killing a parasite ….like how it not killing a me too how different are we really

John wick is a great movie tbh

And mold or no mold peanut butter Perfect Bars are like my favorite thing besides Alohas and I probably need to eat a vegetable

My face feels warm and I assume this is the pyrantel (wormzBgone)

SO YOU CAN EITHER HAND OVER YOUR SON OR YOU CAN DIE SCREAMING ALONG SIDE HIM

like I wish I had a reason to fucking yell that at something lol no I do not

But it would be INTERESTING

and now and then I think about how being interesting is often at the expensive of your own health

When I sold coke I was interesting lol

And now I’m boring and healthy

And still mildly

Should I get chicken fil a

Chicfila bitch why my phone do that to me

Why I complain about it instead of fixing it

I feel chills interesting

It say do not exceed 1 gram and IDK HOW THEYRE GOING THEIR CONVERSIONS

okay weirder feeling suddenly a taste has arrived on the corners edges the back of my tongue is doin a thing 🤷🏼‍♀️ concern concern concern lol this would never be articulated verbally btw if you’re like oh can’t trip with her nah promise i am adorable to watch and QUIET and have been recorded without my knowledge and i wanna find that video but i never will because those humans do not exist in my life anymore lol and nor do I want them toooooooooo

I might need to just go to sleep actually lol big yawns

Retard didn’t come home last night lol I can’t wait to fuck someone else honestly I just can’t really am deworming and probably too old to be FUCKING people lol it’s hard to like giving head and know you can capitalize on that skill (if you’re good at something don’t do it for free!?) and just… not lol like what a waste lol but I sleep like a baby at night

The girl he was sending money to lol cam whore not a stripper - and very upset he stopped so I sent her Barbara like you need Jesus lol granted so does the retard in the den but

Mostly he just needs to not play video games lol like we have real life shit we could do but because it’s hard and he can get the same sense of accomplishment from a screen like obviously he’s just being a child lol 0 self discipline

That’s why I bitch on tumblr I guess though lol but I also read books and bake and I should get the knitting loom fuck it idc if it’s cheating lol

I can’t believe that woman made me a goddamn scarf lol she gave me two muffins today like

What a great human being ♥️ thank you universe for her

And really everyone who’s nice lol especially to my dumb ass ..and random animals if you’re nice to them guess what you a good one

I can’t spend any money this is why no chic fil a lol I really want my credit cards to be 0 again

The fact that it’s bad bad bad for the bod bod bod is not even the issue atm lol

LISTEN MAN I heard you done got you a dime piece man

Time is going by correctly so I’m not sure what’s up

[defiant-firefly]

Oh yeah fun fact about those escape room games me and my mum have been playing: they make no fucking sense. Not in a 'we can't solve them' way, they're actually fairly easy (for me anyway but I think that's cause mum gets bored) but because the protagonist is a detective with stupid reasoning sometimes.

Mostly saying this because she got shot at and kidnapped (by the guy wearing the keffiyeh so like... yeah that's not helping her case here), ended up in a cabin in the woods, found this guy's camera in his backpack, and said one of the photos on it was suspicious. Two of the three photos were pretty sus. First one is of the protagonist and her friend (I think) investigating the disappearance of a woman at the petrol station from the previous chapter. It's from an angle that makes you think he was just camping out in the fucking trees to take this photo, so yeah that's a bit weird. The second is of the missing woman sitting on a bench reading a paper, taken from within the bushes. Pretty sus, right?

But it's the third one that gets logged as vital evidence. That's the one that makes the protag think there's more than one kidnapped woman here. Clearly, super important! So what was it?

A wedding photo. The culprit's wedding photo with a blond woman hugging him. She's wearing a flower crown that's part of a puzzle, but otherwise, that's it.

The protag thinks a wedding photo is more suspicious than a photo of a woman taken from within the bushes. The Arabic man can't have married a conventionally attractive woman! No villain like this has ever been married before! No no no that's just not right! She must have been kidnapped too and coerced into this! How cruel! /s obviously

Like. Come on. They could at least have made the woman look even remotely like she didn't want to be there if they were going for this. They're not even trying to be subtle about this.

The REAL fucked up thing about this man should be that to get into the attic, he has to pull down the mounted animal heads on the wall in the right order. And he had a fucking lightbulb in a draw that only opens when the guns in the rack are in the right places. And he didn't notice the distinct lack of boards over tha attic window when he pulled up outside. And his number plate combined with a fishing bait catalogue is the security pin for the basement door that unlocks from the inside where the victims are.

The more fucked up guy is the fisherman who locked his car jack behind a number code box. And the protagonist for spending like an hour solving puzzles to put out an engine fire rather than get the fisherman out the fucking car before it explodes.

The culprit is actually cool btw. He has a fucking secret cave behind a waterfall as a secret spot to hang out in after he kills someone. A secret cave!!! Behind a waterfall!!! With a comfy hammock in it!!! And he's trying to kill this dumb fuck protag!!! Sure he might be a murderer but I'd forgive him if he kills this racist, judgemental idiot that has to spend forever organising the box of donuts before she can take one, and locks her office phone inside a locked draw you can only open with the key from a safe, where the code is the amount of squares on the files in the cabinets she also has to organise before she can use them.

Like damn bitch, you live like this?

I get it's an escape room puzzle game, but like. There are some things that maybe just make your characters look insane if you make them puzzles ngl

[inconstantsearchofperfection]

He' s a shit.

He's a shit of a shit.

He 's a shitty shit of a shit that's a shit.

He s a shit that is also a shit but he s also a shit.

He s a fucking shit.

He s a fucking shit of a shit of a shit

He's dumb.

He's dim.

He's slow.

He's fucking stupid.

He's so fucking stupid.

He doesn't know how to talk.

He doesn't understand simple things.

He's a half wit.

He's braindamaged.

He s an ass.

He s a fucking donut.

He's a twat.

A real assclown.

A chuckle fuck

A fuckle chuck.

He s a moron.

An idiot.

A buffoon.

A dunderhead.

A shitheal.

A cretin.

He s a broken and severely damaged ... thing.

He is a dumbfuck.

But his stupidity and buffoonery is not the main problem.

He lacks integrity. Bravery. Courage.

Worst of all he lacks competence and kindness.

He lacks basic human compassion.

He lacks basic compassion skills.

He s a fucknup.

He is a fuck. Up.

I m so tired of talking about him , seeing him and God I don't want to hear his fucking voice nor his stupid misuse of words.

He got a million people killed.

He got millions sick.

He got a whole bunch of our spies and secret agents killed.

And the worst part of him is ... he will continue to be a fuck up if we let him.

He will keep on fucking up. Until he gets even more people killed .

He has got to go.

And the rePbz that enabled him as well.

[castle-dominion]

4x11 until death us do part

flirty BODY toxic waste XD at least he has a water bottle, these idiots never have water bottles. "forgot it" this is the saddest thing ever. esposito just watching in disgust I love it lmao they are so in love & it's nauseating like he said but it's also so cute. but the no solid food thing sounds dumb af.

JE: Well, I am looking forward to meeting some of Jenny's sorority sisters. I'm about to show them some of New York's finest. *does a dumb little dance* KR: Good, then I guess you won't care that Lanie's bringing a plus one. JE, looking sad af: Who? KR: Uh, I don't know. She just RSVPed “plus one”. JE: How can--? How can she already have a boyfriend? We just broke up. KB: Don't worry, Espo, I'm going alone, so if the sorority girls don't work out, I'll dance with you. Alexis wasn't invited as castle's family.

Castle is so right, if I have to die I'm going down happy. Unless I want to make less burden on the mortician bc I'm suicidal bc I'm a burden on ppl, then I'd probs go nakey. ALEXIS? birthday suit hit the fruit. JE: *concerned about some medical guy named antonio* KR: *yelling loud af out the window*

Ooh sexy classical music ew castle: Coldest hearted creature on earth. She lures an unsuspecting male, takes him into her web, and then the moment they culminate, as soon as he feels the ecstasy of achieving his biological destiny, [shup] she opens up her jaws and eats him alive. Ryan, softly saying to beckett: I'm glad I'm in a healthy relationship.

Ooh double identity! fun!

Lanie's phone records? is that illegal? *chokes on the green toxic waste* He's rly pretty btw. Nice tie, nice red vest, nice shirt+jacket+lapel pin. So many buttons on the cuff. & then esposito at least he is wearing smth with a collar. "I'll get you his name.." *eyes emoji*

He fell pretty hard too lmao. isn't that dead in ASL?

Remember who killed markiplier & he died a billion different ways? Maybe that was a different episode... Rick: Who's the date? Lanie: Rick: sry "you dog" he says to the dead guy

KR: Ms. Franklin, i—it seems that you weren't the only woman that-- that Mr. Bailey was, uh… with [good word] in the hours prior to his death. HF: Um, what you mean “with”? KR: Was there another woman in the hotel room with you? HF: I didn't think could get any more humiliating. KR: Was that a yes? HF: No, Detective. KR: Thank you. Oh, and you should know that our M.E. has been able to determine that Mr. Bailey was, uh, wearing a condom both times, so that's… [I mean yeah at least you don't have an std] HF: That makes it all better. [Holly gives Ryan an angry look and he walks away. Holly calls after him.] HF: Now I wished I pushed him!

Poor ryan, he is Not Eating All Fricking Week & esposito comes in with a donut (lmao cop stereotypes) this is so sad remember that incorrect quotes? "did u eat my powdered donut?" 'no' "then what's that white powder on you?" 'cocaine?' KR: blgahgh!

RC: Speaking of murder, what's the credit card for? How is that a speaking of which?

KB: Yeah, well, you haven't heard what I would do. RC: Yeah, I don't think I ever want to know. LITTLE MISS HOMICIDE DETECTIVE Beckett's eyes just Widen My brother: hahaha look at Ryan. You can see his eyes go all the way around the room. *whisper yells* ryan, Ryan Riyaaan!!! Look at ryan's pretty tie there. hehe.

How did they GET all these women? I thought he was just sleeping with them not actually dating them all... & he wasn't lying to them abt his name but he still could have been lying about everything else.

RC: That's a big month. Taking a leave from work and your girlfriends. KR: And his apartment. *shakes evidence bags & his toxic water he's so cute omfh* & esposito is wearing basically the shirt I wore the other day except I actually embroidered mine to look cool. JE: That's a lot of cake. Me: what? KR: Why do you have to call it cake? I-it's money. It's a lot of money. It's about 60 grand. That's a really good fake id...

Wow that really messed up the meeting lol This man has a really really fancy tie but I don't like it.

lmao a wrench & an opened up paperclip? You want two paperclips or two wrenches hun. I thought she was just jewish lol I didn't realize it was an airline insignia woah former isralei military now that's experience

KR: Ahh. Jenny just texted me Lanie's plus one. Name is Toby Lang. JE: What? All right. Let's check this punk out. [Esposito types the name into his computer. Toby Lang MD pops up.] JE: Doctor Toby Lang? The guy's the chief administrator at St. Samuel's Hospital. Big job. KR: Lanie did her residency there, didn't she? JE: Yeah. KR, happygolucky: Good looking guy. JE: *eyeroll* KR: *looks down* JE: Played college hoops at Kentucky? Groundbreaking cancer research, are you kidding me? Put me down for plus one. KR: Jenny already did the tables. JE: >:( KR, immediately backtracking: What about her sorority sisters? *does that weird little dance brushing off his jacket* JE: Dude, I'm not showing up solo when she's bringing Captain America over here. *jabs the computer screen* KR, willing to upset his wife's placecards for his best friend: Okay. I'll talk to Jenny. But her mom is gonna need a name for that place card.

She said whom captions said who.

Perfect timing lol They would not have done it where there were cameras right in front of it These randos bested an ex-military flight attendant huh

Ryan is so smart: KR: Hey, tech just got the plate number off the kidnappers car. KB: I thought that the plates weren't visible on the ATM footage. KR: Ah, they weren't. But I found a traffic cam up the block where they were. I was also wondering where esposito was KR: In the break room trying to score his plus one. KB, through the wall: Espo! Let's go! JE: *looks up at Beckett and his hand slips on the espresso machine, spraying his potential plus one with steamed milk. The cop squeals in surprise and Esposito hands her a napkin on his way out.* Sorry. I gotta-- I gotta go.

RC: Hey, relax, man. It happens to a lot of guys. You get a little exited, lose control of your steamer. JE: (poor muzzle control. At least they let him mkick in the door) WHOA MOSTLY NAKEY OK THEN Lol I remember getting so many black eyes & nosebleeds from my san dien guan. classical music <3

exstalktion lmao castle rattling off crews before they reveal they are "pickup artists" 12%... oh wait this was back when milfs were not loved by tumblr Pablo Barnes: Then I see that she's got a ring on her finger. She's a married chick. We stay away from married chicks. KB: 'Cause you're so ethical. (other room) Max Landon: pf! No. They're just trouble. But he doesn't care. He's all in on her.

Authorizing huh? I like how espt is taking notes for the case but is totally taking them for himself. m-swing? heisman? Butterjob? *ryan looks over at espt taking these notes, I think he's asking "what are you doing" with his hand* Yank & chain reversal Bailey ultimatum? ew yucky

Holy crap it is a ledger & the prop team actually filled it! zebra trap? *boys get a little too close in the face* (this scene from the transcript) [23:54, INT. PRECINCT, BULLPEN - NIGHT] [Castle flips through Mike's "ledger".] RC: It's literally hundreds of women that Bailey slept with. KB: Or so he claims. JE: Seems legit to me. Most of these shots are pretty racy. [Esposito leans in close to see the ledger over Castle's shoulder.] RC: All with nicknames and dates. "June 9, 2010 Carnal Carrie. June 12, 2010 Mesmerizing Marjan." JE: Mmm. [Castle turns his head & ends up within kissing distance of esposito, then backs away from Esposito's face.] RC: Whoa. JE: Sorry.

KR: Really? This impresses you? These women are pathetic for falling for this guy. And Bailey? Bailey was just a--a con man and a liar. KB: Thank you. At least there is one real man amongst us. inconsistency with the book being open & closed but I don't care. it's fine.

RC: Beckett, when exactly did Ryan and Jenny start dating? [weird how ryan is is last name] KB: Mm, I think it was around 2009. She got him that ugly tie for their two week anniversary. [I remember that episode] So, I think Easter April. RC: Meaning, by May 2009, they'd been dating a month. KB, disinterested: Yeah. Why? RC: ... RC, uncomfortable: Bailey's May 20, 2009 entry. [Castle flips the book around to show Beckett.] KB: Oh, my gosh. That's Jenny. [that's a big picture compared to the others] RC: (whisper) Not just Jenny. "Gyrating Jenny".

esposito making eyes at work. so dumb sometimes. then again I'm a lesbian I was dating my first partner for a month before we realized it

JE: I think I like this place, partner. [calls him partner <3] KR: Dude, you're a cop. This is a Midtown bar. Women here, they're looking for lawyers and bankers. JE: I bank. [yeah bud, you use a bank] *Ryan chuckles* KR: Well, you are on your own. I'm getting married on Sunday. [he's so smiley] JE: Exactly. So, this is your last chance to be my wingman, [yk that's cute] help me get a plus one. [ah yes] KR: *drops his notebook in his lap* JE: I think I'm gonna try an M-swig. [lmao from the pickup artists] KR: Dude, you can't be serious. JE: What, are you thinking butter job? [no esposito he was not saying you can't be serious about the m swing he was saying you can't be serious about this silly thing right before his wedding] *Ryan bites his lips trying not to say anything* ew writes really big like that? You probably go through notebooks hella fast then.

Castle doing dishes lmao forbes top 400 no f'ing wonder But these people aren't in his book so...

I feel like you /should/ tell ryan but big bro brought up what happened in m*a*s*h If it's more than 2 you can't say both anymore. it's the 21st century people sleep with other people before marriage. (reminds me of that incorrect quote I read for aftg: Nicky "what's your body count?" neil 'idk like 30' nicky "neil you slut" neil 'wait we were talking about sex? I'm a virgin.' Nicky "WAIT WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY 30?") especially that early on, like... I mean they had a fortnightversary tie gift so they must have really liked each other but I thought "what if they were just dating a bunch of different people but kept coming back on a date with this one person so we decided to make it official" but that doesn't fit with the two week gift. I mean I would suggest talking to jenny herself

goes by jd, so cute RC: So, who was the wingman, the grandpa or the kid? She's not just skipping out on her dad she's skipping out on ryan. except that she wasn't invited in the first place she's a plus one so who cares.

oh my goodness 2:30 in the morning? that's late af when you have work the next day! At least esposito looks good in his bisexual layers, leather jacket, hoodieWAIT trans headcanon except for yk military but shush. See? & that's how you carry your coat. Ryan is soooo pretty. He doesn't have an engagement ring tho rn which I think is cool ig bc he can wingman easier... I am sure that I have seen this clip around so I don't feel the need to record it except that I do. Great fight scene but poor ryan he is starving.

you always email yourself, have you never had a job or been in high school? corporate sexpionage

I think that the writer couldn't come up with a joke so had castle say "there's a penetrating enemy lines joke here" either that or they were all too dirty for tv. pretty pretty sweater. KR: The only reason you guys didn't run into her at Global Twelve Consolidated is that we're still holding her. Lmao they were holding her & that's why she wasn't there that's literally what he said but I just found it funny I can't wait for ryan to faint while on the case.

Is this lunch or supper chinese food? lil bro just said gold frankincense & myrhhder should be a castle episode so now I'm goingto write a fanfic based on it. I was just going to quote the first bit but then there was more & I could not find a good place to stop. KB: There's too big a pool of possible marks that Bailey could have slept with. JE: Yeah, uh…speaking of that. You know…Ryan's my boy, [<3]so I gotta tell him about Jenny and Bailey. [Beckett gives Castle a look.] RC: You only told me I couldn't tell Ryan. KB: (sigh) Look, Espo, I appreciate your point of view, but the guy hasn't eaten in a week and a half, and after that doughnut incident, I don't-- [yeah she's right now is not the time to handle it, but then again I said they should tell jenny & she has also not eaten for a week & a half.] *Ryan enters and stares at the Chinese food sitting on the table. He gingerly picks up a file from the center of the boxes* KR: I'll just take these back to my desk. [bc he doesn't want to be around food, poor guy, brings up my DE days] JE: Sit down, bro. KR: What? *looks around* What? *sits down* KR: Why do you guys look so serious? JE: You should…eat something. KB: Yeah. Look hungry. You've got the posture of a feral cat. KR: Guys, I made a sacred vow to the woman I love… RC: *moves a takeout box towards Ryan* KR: Is that Mushu pork? [Esposito continues chowing down the food.] JE: (muffled) Yes. It is delicious. Come on, bro, just eat. [Ryan grabs the food from Castle and digs in, groaning in pleasure.] KR: (muffled) you're not kidding about this Mushu pork. Come on! JE: Right? KR: (muffled) Would you pass the spring rolls, please? JE: Yeah. So… *passes the box* JE: You know how we all love Jenny, right? KR: Yeah, what about her? JE: Well, it's just that…that ledger of Bailey's… KR, interrupting: Hey, is she in that? I've been meaning to ask, but I have been having these--these memory lapses. [which is so not ok, esp for a detective] Mm, pass the fried rice? RC: Yeah. *hands Ryan the box* RC: So, you've known all along? KR: No. I was telling Jenny about Javi's antics last night. [first names bc this was javi not esposito] *Beckett gives Esposito a look.* KR: And we got to talking about the case, and she told me that she met Bailey at a bar a month or so after we started out. JE: She told you about that???? KR: (chuckles) Yeah. She had no idea that he was some kind of professional pickup artist. Ha! RC: And you're not upset at all? KR: I'm-- um… *looks around* it's not like we were exclusive. [points for the polyam o'ryspolly hcs.] Mm, is that Mongolian beef? *Beckett smiles at Esposito and Castle's reactions. An officer enters. She hands Ryan a note.* Di: Here you go. KR: Thanks, Di. *Ryan reads the note.* KR: Oh! Get this. [he's been so happy since putting food in his mouth.] So, I've been trying to figure out where else Bailey might've been staying for the past month, and when we got onto his corporate spying for Global Twelve Consolidated, I looked into their corporate housing. KB: That's-- a great idea. RC: Yeah. Why didn't I think of that? [yeah, esp since he's the one starving himself.] KR: Turns out Mike Bailey has been checked into the Oaks on Park Avenue for the last month under his alias, Jake Hendricks. KB: Well, what are you sitting around for? *Ryan gets up quick & excited but hesitates as he reaches back for some food.* KR: Uh, do you mind if I take a spare rib? *Castle hands Ryan a takeout box.*

lil bro: maybe it's dr parish bc she deals with people who perish

First names but as someone with a mispronounced name I hate when they call him javieérre with three syllables & a big r instead of javyer' with two (& a half) syllables & a tapped r.

"yeah I bet" lmao

should have been the guy then it should have been the lawyer & then it was some rando.

Ryan eating a donut again <3 he's alive! & he is using a tissue to protect his hands<3 KR: haha, I'm just glad I'm out of the game. RC: The games are only beginning for you, my friend. KB: Hey, so what's up with your plus one? JR: Oh, it's on. That's all I'm saying.

marriage love marriage love wedding I can't believe it I'm so happy for him

[Esposito stands with a gorgeous woman taller than he is (at least in heels). Lanie enters with her doctor date.] JE: Lanie, hey. LP: Hello, Javier. This is Toby. TL: Pleased to meet you. JE: Yeah, you too. This is Jody. LP: Nice to meet you. Jody: Pleasure. Excuse me, I need to find the ladies' room. *Lanie watches Jody saunter off.* TL: Um, you two talk. I'll get us seats. LP: Thank you, Toby. JE: Toby, huh? LP: What do you mean, "Toby, huh"? JE: I don't know, you tell me. LP: You and I broke up two months ago. So, unless you thought I'd joined a convent, you need to take a step back. [Yeah bud two months is not "we just broke up" but it is a short amount of time in some ways] JE: So, you two serious now? LP: Yeah, we're serious. About dancing. [I loooove dancing, that's how ogdoch got together, I know plenty of people who aren't lovers but are dance partners, I love going to Métis fiddle dances, I can't wait to learn more swing, I've had enough salsa but I could always go for more, I have hade more than enough ballroom dancing but I wouldn't mind more as long as it's fun...] LP: That's why his boyfriend let me borrow him. Besides, I figured I'd need somebody to keep my company while you flirted with all of Jenny's sorority sisters. JE: Toby's boyfriend? *points back to the doctor* LP: And I seem to recall you here with the center for the New York Liberty. JE: She's my cousin. I heard you were coming with a date, so I thought I had to have somebody… you look great, you know. LP: Yeah, I know. JE: Can I show you to your seat? LP: That would be nice. *Lanie takes Esposito's arm and they enter the church.* they are so cute. I recently in my normal watch heard lanie mention the occasional booty call which I think is hilarious, & then a more recent ep was the valentine's ep & I think it was soooo cute.

they are not together? I can't believe it, caskett are too good together. Tho tb beckett doesn't look super great rn. He looks so happy! & she snaps a photo! Ohhhhhh uwu uwu they hug & kiss but then castle & esposito are so boring barely even shaking his hand He's getting married today! He is getting married to the love of his life (besides his other partner) & he is so happy & in love! becks preventing him from turning around esposito is one of the groomsmen I'm assuming on his right our left is nolan jenny's half brother but who the heck is the guy on the other side?

[the-firebird69]

Here are a few factors that are leading up to things happening the morlock one our son to the mall and they want to bother him and torture him and torment him and walk him around and they say they get stuff. And what they're doing is going after Max and they're saying that going after us they try and find people like us that match up too so we have to be there. Then father doing this for years and they're almost done and they can't get out and are trapped here by tanks and are doing it. And I'm trying to get kidnapped victims and it makes sense but they're slow and crappy technique it's still what's being deployed and it's because they're women are stupid. And the causing this to happen and they don't understand what time it is and their fruitcakes to begin with lots of them and our son says matter how he knows and she's one of the women who is where Jenna sometimes knows she said she does and then you people are dog s*** for sitting there not understanding something so basic but that's who's doing it and they're going to March around today say they won something in fact they're causing more problems then good for their people and they should try and get out and they can't and it's going to be like a hostage situation where they're held here and their people are hit because of them and it's been going on anyways there's a visit from the ambulance here about 10 times a day in the neighborhood and most of your people who are leaders are dying all day long and he doesn't want you around if he was stupid and you shouldn't be because really you're dumb people. And you're not going to be here shortly because of this idiot who's speaking right now thrown you under the bus tons of times because he doesn't understand how computers work and he doesn't understand how mega computers work and you can't build one that actually functions correctly and admits it openly yet that's why he was having you all killed by circumstances and machinations of his own which is not really true he's not good at it he had a lot of other people pitch in those people pitched in took his computer program each and every one of them where you are is a pile of losers and you look it you don't understand what we're saying most of the time so horrible way to die like a stupid animal

You at each other kill each other for us sitting there in cesspool thinking you like it saying you like it it don't matter to me I can kill you anyways

The sun said the last paragraph to the bunch in the legislative meeting as a Chinaman and this sort of get it it's kind of funny cuz I don't understand it at all and they're sitting there working their own donut. We have a lot more going on here these people are not aware yet even though they live in a holocaust building most of them do at this time and that's a sign from the max we understand and some of their spies have gotten the information that's what the max are saying to go after your idiots and hold you there until they can get rid of you and that's what they plan to do no they're doing it right now believe it or not you moved into a vinyl hell. Boy that stuff stinks it makes you sick and like the first day people feel sick and then vomiting and stuff and it's from off-gassing of that vinyl you can seal it but it's going to make it worse it's going to just rot instead of drying out.

-there's a giant number of them they were going to seal it and he came up with a window idea and he said Garth has it later tonight and it works sales start doing it and said wow you said you close it when you leave and it's going to dry out faster you open it and you get all the DLCs out and they're starting to do it and they figured out something even when we're not here so they turned it on and off really it's what happens but it's gross that they can't figure out the code some of them can but it's horrible cuz they're stuck here with a bunch of idiots entrance to a fight it's like no this means this to Trump and you still can't get it cuz his computers do you do them he chose that path on purpose to avoid detection and stupid cuz Tommy Evans doing it to him and tell me if has them say in these lines and you can see it in public so I can't let you see it that's often die a****** so got very serious this guy has to die this next door and it's Trump cuz he can't even tell him and then figured it out he goes around don't try and tell me that

Tommy f is using it as a threat so we're going after him cuz he's an imbecile

-there's a major plan that's playing is not going to work it never works and we can't allow him to do it it's exactly what our son said it was in the beginning of all this he said it seems the Terminator movie was created and started because of this idiot and it was enabled to be created by him because it's his plane believe it or not it's backwards and he had worked on getting it out there and he knew that there was something fishy about this fish cuz he calls Joe Watts a fish cuz he acts like one so going after him very hard and we do admit if anybody is supporting him for any reason they are going to be in a lot of trouble and we me and you people here too this guy is wanted by everybody on Earth for crimes against humanity and he is a cheese dog at best you know drive you in but you'll be a goner

More shortly

Thor Freya

Thank you Zeus

Hera

You're welcome Hera

Zues

We thank you both it's way too much work for you but you did it and we're going to get your stuff

Olympus

[suna-reversed]

JJK || awkward s*x moments vol.2

gojo, nanami, yuuji, megumi, toji, sukuna, choso, naoya

all characters are aged up || minors DNI

warnings/tags: [intended lowercase], mentions of: cockwarming, period sex, semi-public sex, dirty talk, oral (m.receiving), riding, drunk sex

unrelated but everyone needs to see this masterpiece

gojo: started dirty talking while using the name of his favourite sweets, “oh my, sweet little donut, I’m gonna fill up with my cream” or “oh yeah baby, suck on my popsicle juice just like that” the last straw was him referring to your nether lips as a “layered croissant he will devour” before you banned him from speaking in bed😐

nanami: had you sitting on his lap, cockwarming him while he did some work. you tried to tease him and made a comment about how attractive he looked in his glasses; he tried to sensually take them off and put it on you but ended up almost poking out an eyeball and getting his dick half bent as you almost fell off his lap while trying to rush to the bathroom to check your eye

yuuji: you had been in the middle of an anime marathon which had led to an intense make out session and eventually to him taking you from behind on the couch. only problem was that the television was still on and yuuji got so lost in the pleasure that he subconsciously started humming and singing along to what was playing in the background while still messily thrusting into you. and that is why you can never listen to “shinzou wo sasageyo” the same way again😭

megumi: the first time you stayed over at his apartment led to some extremely messy sex, both of you drunk out of your minds as he suppressed your mouth with his hand and tried to make the least movement possible to keep yuuji from hearing across the wall. you’d assume that you two did a pretty sneaky job. instead, yuuji was terrified as he walked in on his best friend and his girlfriend going right at it in the living room like bunnies, with the lights on and windows open. turns out, you never made it megumi’s bedroom and it wasn’t your mouth that his hand covered, it was greasy pizza leftover yuuji had been saving😀

toji: he’s horny but also an impulsive idiot, meaning you need to be the one to carry condoms at all times because you never know when this man will try something. for once, he seemed very smug about taking you in a bathroom stall at a party as he assured you he was the one carrying protection, “let me spoil you sometimes too” only for him to go ahead and pull the cheapest brand of condoms, a slobbery dildo, and mint (god knows why); all out of his worm’s mouth😍

sukuna: you were drunk and on your knees, and thought it’d be the smoothest thing to ask “can i sukuna?” “can i sukuna what, brat?” “can i sukuna DEEZ NUTS?” you thought you were hilarious but only ended up choking around his cock while he contemplated whether good head was worth keeping you alive😐

choso: he was honestly the most sweetest and reassuring when it came to sex but you wanted to try something new and he agreed to your wishes. so there you were later that night, tied up as he spanked you from behind while thrusting into you. only to your bad luck, it was the same day your period decided to come early and you were notified about it from the loudest most high pitched scream you’ve ever heard. you had to spend 30 minutes calming down a shaking choso who thought he was killing you with his dick😭

naoya: “i can change him! who cares if he thinks women are useless, he can use me as his stupid dumb wife hehe!” *cue you crying because his balls smell like an overfilled dumpster and you’re sure you saw some thick mouldy white growth on the underside of his cock which was definitely not pre-cum*

[yourlocalmikankinnie]

If requests are open, can you do the traing trio helping a insecure S/O?

Sure!! Thank you for requesting, Chiaki!

Characters: Kaito, Maki, and Shuichi

Made one with poly as well!

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Kaito:

He hasn't been all inscure himself but he absolutely wants to help. His dumbass would suggest let's take this as a opportunity to work out! Whatcha say?" And is completely okay if you don't want to. (If he gives you more stress and stuff, tell Maki and she'll deal with him 🤭).

If you wanna just hang out alone or with just him he's absolutely fine with that! He'll give you space if needed but tells you to call him (if outside of the killing game) if you need anything. Wither it be food, drinks, maybe a book you wanted to get, you want it? He gets it 😼.

Maki:

She doesn't know how to comfort someone pretty much at all but she absolutely loves you so you bet your sweet and adorable self that she's gonna man up and comfort you 🥺😡.

She asks if you wanna do something and depending on what you choose, she'll do anything! If you want to just go sleep and snuggle she will. Sure, she'll blush so red it's almost the color of her scrunchies/huge donut looking hair ties and say she doesn't like it while stuttering but hey, she does love it.

Shuichi:

Bro he's like "same😭" momentarily before rushing to you and asking what you would like from him. If you want space, he'll leave and come check on you every like 10 minutes.

He brings back a ton of stuff when you give him the okay to come back. He loves you and has no problem punching the tiny bitch- I mean Kokichi if his ass bothers you!

Poly:

They never wanna see you upset or inscure so they happily (or as happily as they can *COUGH MAKI COUGH* be) take care of you and what you wanna do. If you would like them to get stuff for you, have it be done in no less than 2 hours because Kaito got his ass lost in the store🥺.

Maki makes sure Kaito doesn't do dumb shit or SAY dumb shit so she's obviously mama bear 😍 Shuichi just kinda is there comforting you while they "fight" and is letting you use his lap as a pillow while you guys eat some of the snacks they got 😼 Shuichi rubs his hand on your stomach (if your comfortable with that) and tells you that there's nothing to be inscure of. Because even with your flaws, your still the person they choose and love.

[marshmallows2345]

coming clean (antonio dawson x fem! reader)

Content Warning: Drug addiction, drug withdrawl, mentions of rehab, antonio being an absolute gem

requested by @rosaliedepp -i slightly changed the plot a little but it is still the same general idea

a/n: if you’re struggling with addiction, please get help. you are not alone and you can get better. i’m here if you need support. also, i hope that i handled this subject well and respectfully.

you owed everything to him.

he took a chance on you, put his career, his professional relationships, everything was risked on you.

you made the best of it.

detective antonio dawson was a good man. he wasn’t like other cops, as cliché as that sounded. sure, he busted you for using and possession. he had to. but instead of booking you, he gave you another chance. he gave you a chance at life.

the interrogation room was cold, dark, and made your hair stand on end. your back was rigid against the metal chair as he circled you like a lion going after his prey. your body twitched, needing a fix. all you wanted was to get your hands on some cocaine and get out of the freezing cold precinct.

“you’re looking at 20 years, y/n,” he said as he sat back down across from you. “but a deal can be arranged if you give up your dealer.”

“i can’t. i-i-i can’t. he’s gonna kill me.”

“we can get you protection. and if you want, i can help get you clean.”

you raised your eyebrow and looked up at him.

“you-you would do that?”

“you have to give up your dealer.”

you thought about it; this was risky. you could die if your dealer found out. but you had been thinking about getting clean. it would help you get work, be a functioning member of society. you just couldn’t afford it. to hear the option being offered…it was too good to pass up. you made some dumb decisions in your life, but this was not going to be one of them.

“i’ll do it. i’ll tell you everything. whatever you need. just help me get clean.”

it had been a year since then. you had gotten into rehab with antonio’s help, and be fore you went in, he had given you his number to call if you needed help. rehab was difficult. it was, at times, almost torturous, and there were times you wanted to relapse. but you pushed through. you made it through treatment, alive, and you started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. there was hope for you, hope for your future.

it had been two months since you were out of rehab, and you were completely clean. you were working at an actual job, as a cashier at a dunkin’ donuts. it may not have been the most glamorous job, but it was a good start. you were living a life, clean and sober. you started to feel better, now that you weren’t focused on getting a fix all the time.

being sober wasn’t easy. there were still times when you wanted to get a fix, but you knew better. you couldn’t go back to how it was. when you were using cocaine, your body and your mind were struggling. but something in your brain wanted to use again. the urge was too strong for you to fight it on your own. so, you picked up the phone and called him.

“detective dawson, who is this?”

“it’s me, detective, y/n. i-i know we haven’t spoken in a while, but i need help.”

“what’s going on?” he asked, and you could hear the concern in his voice.

“i-i’ve been clean for two months, and the urge is back, and it’s so strong, i didn’t know who else to call, i just need help to fight this.”

“okay. i can help you. do you want to meet me at a diner or at your place or..”

“come over, please?”

in about fifteen minutes, you heard a knock at your door, and you went to open it. antonio was outside and he said,

“hey, y/n.”

“detective, i-i’m sorry, i just needed someone and you said-“

“i told you, if you needed help, you call me.”

“come in, please?”

you let him in, closing the door behind him before turning to him, chewing on your nails. he came over to you and pulled your hand away from your mouth.

“hey, hey,” he softly said as he looked at you with understanding eyes. “it’s okay. this is normal. you were using for a while, right?”

“yeah, yeah.”

“you’ve been clean for two months. that’s a big step, and you should be proud of that.”

you weren’t even thinking when you pulled him in for a hug. when everyone else shunned you, antonio gave you help and hope. and now he was here for you when you needed a friend the most. when his arms wrapped around you, you let everything out in the form of sobs. antonio knew that you were lonely; you didn’t have many friends and your family had shunned you. you needed support, and he was willing to give it to you.

“you’re strong, y/n. you’re gonna get through this. recovery’s not linear, and this urge is just part of the process.”

you nodded as you wiped your eyes. pulling away, you went to your fridge and you mentally smacked yourself. there was no food; you’d forgotten to go shopping.

“i brought some snacks for you,” antonio said, gesturing to the plastic bag on the table.

you hadn’t even noticed he left a bag there; you were too focus on having a friend to comfort you. he went over and handed you a small bag of pretzels, saying,

“eat something. i saw that fridge. it’s bare.”

you opened it and started eating, grateful for antonio and his generosity. he watched you with a caring smile, one that let you know that you weren’t alone. no other man had treated you with such kindness, and you had no way to repay him.

“thank you,” you said as you threw out the empty bag when you finished it. “thank you. i-nobody’s ever been this kind to me before.”

antonio’s heart broke at that statement. ever since he met you, he could tell that you had a hard life. you didn’t tell him; he just knew. his intuition was right; your family wasn’t the best at all, you had been in bad relationships constantly, and now you were alone. life wasn’t kind to you, and he saw that. but he wanted to show you that it didn’t have to be all bad. life could be good as well.

“it’s getting late,” you said. “you should go.”

“you sure? i can stay if you want.”

you knew better than to lie to him.

“can you stay?”

“of course. i’ll take the couch.”

“no,” you said, mentally kicking yourself for protesting so quickly. “i can’t let you do that. we can share the bed, if you’re comfortable. i just…i really don’t want to be alone right now.”

“i understand. come on, let’s head to bed.”

you led him to your bedroom, and you crawled into bed, letting your body relax into the mattress. the bed dipped next to you as antonio slid in with you. almost instinctively, you moved closer to him. he didn’t push away, and he let you make yourself comfortable.

“sleep well, y/n,” he said, before you fell asleep.

when you woke up, you found yourself cuddled up to antonio. he was already awake, scrolling on his phone quietly so he didnt wake you.

“good morning,” he murmured in the sexiest voice you had ever heard.

“hi,” you said before registering the fact that you were actually cuddled up to him. “oh, i’m so sorry, i,” you said, pulling away, but being brought back down by antonio.

“no, no. it’s okay,” he cut you off as you nestled yourself back on his chest. “i don’t mind.”

it was comforting. he still smelled of his cologne, warm and musky with notes of whiskey and smoke. you moved up to be closer to him and he said,

“everything okay?”

“yeah, just…i dunno. you’re comfortable.”

antonio smiled to himself as he turned onto his side to look at you. you felt him brush a lock of hair out of your face and your cheeks burned at the gesture of affection.

“i’m proud of you.”

“why?”

“you turned your life around. you’re doing good, y/n. you’re two months clean, and you’re staying out of trouble.”

“thanks, detective.”

“antonio. call me antonio.”

“antonio, thank you.”

“y/n, there’s, there’s something i wanna ask you, and i don’t know if there’s ever been a better time.”

“what is it?”

“i, uh, i wanna take you out. on a date.”

“antonio,” you breathed, caught completely off guard. “i…i don’t know what to say.”

“you don’t have to say anything, but i just wanted to ask. i-“

“yes. yes i would love to,” you said, pushing yourself up so your nose just gently brushed his. “so much.”

[feztooth]

Series Review: Dungeon Crawler Carl, by Matt Dinniman: 5/5!

Quick review: a great series if you are interested in the litRPG genre. the characters are a blast and all five books that are currently out are fun rides. Occasionally the characters make a very dumb decision, but that’s okay! Nothing that will completely pull you out of the story, just things that will make you think “man, that could have gone better,” which I think is good for a book to have sometimes.

Longer Review (with some minor spoilers): this series centers on Carl and his newly-sapient cat, Princess Donut. Earth is utterly destroyed by aliens, and most of the survivors are entered into a life-or-death gameshow called the dungeon crawl. The plot synopsis originally threw me off a bit - it centered heavily on the fact that you do better in the game the more entertaining you are. I was worried that Carl was going to be annoying while trying to get the most views, but luckily the main character is quite likable. He absolutely hates anyone that has to do with running the game, and with good reason - they make money off if the deaths if billions of people. The game itself is being held together by duct tape, as the runners for this season of the game show are low on cash and doing everything as cheaply as possible. There is a recurring foot-fetish gag where the dungeon likes it when Carl kills things with his feet. It’s pretty weird and I wasn’t the biggest fan of it. Luckily, everyone in the book thinks it’s super weird also - it serves as one of the ways to tell that the AI running the game is slowly losing it (due to being a used system that was bought for cheap). The leveling up, new powers, and loot boxes are fun, as are all of the different levels that Carl has to battle through. The side characters are all pretty enjoyable as well. The only problem is the cast gets pretty huge as the series continues: at the start of book one there are two characters, Carl and Donut. At the end of book 5 there are something like 8 crawlers to keep up with, as well as other side characters not in the game. This leads to the other characters being way leas fleshed out as Carl and Donut, who actually have interesting character development (even if they only change a little). One of the most unfortunate casualties of this is Mordecai, Carl and Donut’s game guide. He does not get much development at all, and while he has a plot line of his own it is rarely added to. Hopefully he gets more time in the future books. As of right now, all he does is tell them how they should do something, they usually do something else, and then he yells at them and calls them idiots. It gets a little old. Also he makes them potions now, which is fine but he hasn’t really made any connections with anyone or developed at all. The other complaint I have is only in the fifth book i believe. Carl keeps talking about how there is a river raging in the back of his mind, and to be honest I have no idea what the heck he means. I think it rages when he’s mad about the game? But like yeah man, he’s always mad about that. Trillions of people are watching him and his friends suffer and die. It just felt kinda weird. Other than that, this series is a blast! If you are a fan of litRPGs or want to get into the genre, I highly recommend it. If you don’t know what litRPGs are and don’t care, it’s still a fun action-fantasy book, with a but if sci-fi thrown in occasionally. Just be ready for a bunch if video game lingo like leveling up (both the player and moves), quests, NPCs, bosses, and loot boxes.

[boiling-potato]

ok but imagine the original trickster meeting swap meztli! like they'd be so confuse on why the other is acting like they don't want to be in their presence when in there universe they're constantly annoying eachother... like WHAT???? XD

Well since I have a little bit of time on my hands I really want to write this just because it sounds hilarious! Hahah! So here it is Anon! Hope you like it!! 🫴^w^ 🫴✨✨

Characters: Meztli (@aesopsbaby 's oc!!) And Trickster

Warning: None

---

Creator's note: Thank you so much for this request Anon!! I really enjoyed writing this! Also please keep in mind I don't own Meztli! Meztli belongs to it's rightful owner (@aesopsbaby !!) My dear friend! ^^

---

A strange encounter

Trickster turns into an alleyway, pressing her back on the wall, making sure the shadow of the building completely engulfs her whole body like a blanket, not making a sound. She waited and then she heard it, "Girly! Where are you?" She then saw the person she was avoiding came into view, but he didn't seem to notice her in the shadow of the alleyway and kept calling her name while looking around aimlessly.

Trickster has been avoiding Meztli in any way that she can, but Meztli doesn't seem like he's going to give up anytime soon. "Why can't he just leave me alone?" Trickster thought, sighing, visibly annoyed by the boy's stubborn attitude.

Trickster then notices that he seems to accept that he lost her and proceeds to search in another area. Once trickster made sure that he was out of sight, she signed, relieved that she finally got him out of her back... At least for a while. She doesn't know how she keeps meeting him; it just happens, whether out of bad luck or the..... creator..

She then looked at the direction that Meztli went, then stepped out of the alleyway heading in the opposite direction. 'Oh my goodness! I haven't even noticed how hungry I am! I'll just get some donuts or churros on the way, and maybe even a strawberry milkshake while I'm a-' Trickster was then cut out of her thoughts when a stranger, who in a glimpse looks like they're in a rush, bumbs Trickster on the side, causing her to fall on the sidewalk because of the sudden impact.

"Oh goodness! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that! " The stranger extended a hand for Trickster to take, and she gladly accepted it, "Oh don't worry! It's fine! It's my fault, I wasn't paying attention to where I'm-" trickster paused, finally looking at the stranger, the immediate drop on their faces when they looked at each other.

Meztli!? It's Meztli!! But... Why is he talking like that? He never says sorry either. Didn't he... Why does he look so different? Trickster thought He still looks the same, but his hair looks a little bit different and he wasn't wearing his usual blindfold and the weird vail like thing on his face. He only had a sunglass on top of his head and he looks just as confused and shocked as Trickster. It took them a while before the "Meztli" in front of Trickster glared at her, "Oh hell no! How the hell do you keep finding me, Trickster? I swear to God if you take one step closer to me, I'm going to fucking kill you! "

...

Trickster? He never calls Trickster by her tittle. She gave him a "did you snort crack or something?" face.

"I'm sorry, but why would you assume that I want to go near you? Also, did you change your appearance just for this dumb joke or what? Because I don't see the punch line.. "

Trickster said, tilting her head in confusion. "Meztli" looked even more confused than she did. ".. What the fuck are you talking about? I was going to ask you the same thing. Also, why are you talking like that? Is this some sort of prank? Are you talking like that to me just to confuse and mess with me? "

Uhhhh Trickster is speechless. She can see the visible and genuine reaction in this Meztli's eyes and that made her even more confused.

Meztli looked at Trickster, waiting for her to say sike or to burst out laughing, but... it never came. Now Meztli is becoming more suspicious of the girl in front of her. She looks flabbergasted, keeping eye contact while finding the right words to say.

.

.

.

"Oooookaayy," she said, finally breaking the silence. She then started walking, passing him and not even looking back at the supposed "friend" that she knew, and frankly, she just didn't want to.

Meztli, however, looked back at Trickster walking away, not knowing whether to stop her or just to let it be. He looked at her again and sighed. He just chose not to. I mean, what can he say anyway? If this was a prank just to confuse him, then it totally worked. His common sense is saying it's just a prank, but her reaction is telling him otherwise, and if it's not a prank, then who is she?

"What the hell did I eat this morning?" He thought.

"Oh hey Trickster! How are you?" Luke greeted, looking at the person who just entered his childhood friends house. Trickster didn't respond but just walked towards the couch and sat besides Lunie who looked at her confused. "Your being uncharacteristically un-responsive.. what's wrong??" Trickster didn't look back at her, she just started at nothing then for a while she finally broke the silence "Can.... can a person hallucinate while knowing that it's not really a hallucination?"

"Wut-

[hhjs]

forget me not.

♡ based on — "During times of war. I want to say: I only love you, And I cling you, Like the peel clings to a pomegranate, Like the tear clings to the eye, Like the knife clings to the wound." and the song nightlife by daydream masi.

♡ summary  —   Hyunjin's unsure of the tingle in his gut, why it's happening. But he thinks, just for a second, it feels a little like hope.

wherein, putting your heart on the line for the sake of doing favours isn’t a frequent component in your schedule. But what happens when this favour is asked for by the boy you may or may not have fancied for far too long?

 You accept it. 

 For a very embarrassing reason, really, which is — you think Hwang Hyunjin needs you.

♡ pairing— hwang hyunjin x reader

♡ word count— 8.8k whoopsies

♡ genre and alternate universe — angst, fluff + hanahaki au.

♡ author's note— this was supposed to be a drabble and then i sort of lost my fucking mind ehe...also this is easily the worst thing i have ever written im so sorry aaa but this is a lil present from my end hahaha

♡ warnings— suggestive content, vomiting, mention of blood. allusions to depression and heartbreak.

Amongst other things, you're extremely bad at saying 'no'. You don't mean the word per se...but the underlying connotation of this very monosyllable which may come at the expense of letting another person down.

It's sort of stupid, you understand, your friends have constantly voiced their worries for your extremely complacent nature more often than you'd think actually. But it all goes over your head. See — old habits really do die hard.

When you're eight, this very defect takes you to dreadful saxophone lessons your mum spoke so highly of. When you're 15, it gets you called to the principal's office for flashing Jeongin trigonometric functions in Mister Choi's pop quiz, when you're older, things are definitely no different.

The passenger seat is occupied, Hyunjin's holding a tangled muffler to his suede jacket clad chest. At 21, he's become someone you used to know. A friend of a friend, Felix's to be very specific. But the man in question, who was supposed to be his ride, passes off this duty for kegstands and you just happen to be the designated driver for the night, shuffling Jisung beside Changbin and Chan, who claims to be 'sober' even though he's half asleep.

Hyunjin is uncharacteristically quiet.

There's a polite smile on rendered your way as your eyes meet. A small curvature along his plump bottom lip, tighter around the edges. Still this simple formality is so beautiful that you feel something inside you come alive.

When Jisung starts snoring, you flip on the radio and Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here comes on.

Your fingers feel numb when they come to tap out a rhythm to the track. It's nice. Tingling guitar riffs swelling, David Gilmour's gruffy voice pours in from faulty speakers. The more the song progresses, the more you find yourself attempting to think about anything that will distract you from the boy beside you, in the flesh no less.

So late at night, the main road is eerily silent. Cobblestones reflecting the sound of tires thumping against its layout, streetlights blinking at you from their drooping heads. Across the street, a baker is tucking away leftover bread and buskers are packing up their beat up guitars, a man in his late 50's pulling his blanket to his nose as he rests a head full of gray hair on the cold pavement.

You glance at Hyunjin from the corner of your eye and find that his staggering smile has completely disappeared. Now there's a distant glaze in his eyes. It's like he's here, in this moment, with you, but at the same time, he's somewhere else.

Under the impression you've done something wrong, you immediately begin to panic. But the thing is, you don't actually know if you should ask. Would it constitute as crossing a line if you had anyway?

Hyunjin covers his mouth with a sleeve, muffled retching building beyond fabric.

The reasonable assumption is obvious. It's not abnormal to be nauseous when you've got one too many drinks in you. He motions for you to pull over, incoherent sentences practically melding together, words forming and dissipating between choking fits.

You scramble to dig out a bottle of mineral water you habitually deposit in the glove compartment, offering him the tissue first. Ears perking up in satisfaction when a garbled thanks escapes his parted lips. But then... something weird happens.

As your eyes flicker to unintentionally glance at the contents discarded on the pitch grey sidewalk, you freeze in your seat.

You were never a big believer of superstition, not someone who buys into myths only meant for the fiction genre. Sure, you can be gullible sometimes...but what's happening falls no way under the realistic category.

The lethal Hanahaki disease, only inherited by some unlucky descendants, every moment in your head prior to this one, was something that's obviously non existent.

Yet... there's so much blood, too much blood attesting to your blatant ignorance. The petals are of a white rose, smudging together in swirls of grotesque crimson in mimicry of a sheen of red sticking to the inner corners of his lips. It has happened before, you can tell, from just how unsurprised he looks.

Hyunjin's stare flits to commit every detail of your to memory, in what only seems a quick study of gauging your forthcoming reaction, though even before you can produce a coherent thought, he says,

"You can't tell anyone." His voice drops a few octaves as though he's afraid your snoring friends in the back might've noticed. "Please."

Hyunjin's face softens by the slightest, contrary to his firm demand, there lies a desperation you couldn't overlook.

In retrospect, what you're about to tell is ultimately a promise that'd come back to bite you in due time. However, see now, you're extremely bad at saying no. Somehow you're even worse when it comes to Hyunjin. So you blink, turn the radio off and say,

"Okay."

—

The pool is preheated. For that you're most thankful.

Frankly, you couldn't imagine what it'd be like being pushed into a chilly body of water mid winter. Not that it's pleasant otherwise, you can't swim.

Well at 15, you hadn't quite learned to. The other kids have scurried inside to hog freshly baked Snowman biscuits Seungmin's mum is renowned for.

Then and you think you'll never quite forget it, Hyunjin's wearing an orange power ranger t shirt, it's darker now that it's wet, his glasses are marked with uneven splatters. His face scrunches up at the sudden splash of wetness engulfing his body. He wasn't planning to get in the water.

"Hold on tight." He says, wounding your arms around his neck, your calves tighter to his sides to support your shivering body. Back then Hyunjin's hair was black, cropped short and swept to the side, he smells like fabric softener and skittles. A water donut is discarded in the middle of the pool.

Everybody you know and don't know, from the birth of superheroes stuck in comic books to valiant protagonists behind fuzzy television screens, has this inherent desire to be saved. From the world, from themselves. No, no, it doesn't have to be a grand gesture, swooping them off of their feet from the grasp of surly men in dark alleys, sometimes it's really just simple. Sometimes people save you in the most ordinary way there is.

The weight of your form on his bright pink water donut while he stood on his toes to merely rest his elbows so the item wouldn't flip, a small act, certified this very claim, had not the nimble touch of his cold fingers, brushing away wet hair from your face, to anxiously ask if you're okay met the purpose. He talks to you like the sound of his voice has the power to injure you.

You nod slowly. Like this, it feels like you're going to be.

Hyunjin pouts, looking perfectly unconvinced. He paddles the pair of you to steel stairs spiraling into the pool, so he can stand without just his nose peeking out of the water, he looks at you once again, a wrinkle between his dark, arched eyebrows and says solemnly, "Jisung's such an idiot sometimes, isn’t he?"

But isn't he your friend? You want to ask. Something stops you though —his tone tells you you aren't the only one to fall victim to Jisung's practical jokes. Not that they were offensive or anything. Han Jisung, the same person who twiddles his thumbs when he wants the last chicken nugget and cries every time you watch Howl's Moving Castle together, genuinely doesn't mean any harm. It's just that...when he's comfortable with people, who aren't many, he tends to do a lot of dumb things. Dumb, endearing things that Minho will kill him for someday.

"A little bit," You mumble under your breath. Heat rising to your face at the possibility of Hyunjin being concerned for you. He sounds almost angry. "Thanks by the way."

It's rather pitiful to remember. Because with time, Hyunjin's world becomes so big that your interaction stands to be too insignificant to not forget. Before you know it, he's the shooting guard of your school's basketball team, just a handsome face who dates better girls, makes better friends. It's superficial and a little sad.

No, no, a little sad is an understatement actually.

To see someone you understood intimately, a boy who always described details too much just to stray from the main story, a boy with too many emotions bubbling to an awfully animated surface; someone who was passionate, sensitive and so nauseatingly big hearted...change into a man who is indubitably untouchable...is tragic. At least.

Yet funnily enough — you can't quite imagine a world without Hwang Hyunjin. His ringing laughter rippling through loud ambiences, his distant humming of Christmas carols whilst he absently skimmed through spines of children's novels and his eyes glimmering in adoration whenever he spoke of something he loved — Without him, you imagine, there would be a massive deficiency in your world, in the world. Like if birthday cakes came with the biggest slice carved out.

Hyunjin grins, a big sort of candid grin that turns his eyes into upturned crescents. His previous temperament long forgotten. Suddenly, this utterly atrocious happening seems to not be so bad. Suddenly you don't mind that Jisung is an idiot sometimes.

"Of course."

—

Hyunjin is not perfect. Hyunjin is no prince charming.

People don't know this. They don't understand this.

He ends up paying for dinner when he's out with a big crowd even though they were supposed to split the bill, he ends up crying when he gets angry and he is an abysmal liar, in every sense of the phrase. Hardly ever succeeding to hide his emotions when he should. When he was a kid his parents reminded him that it's a good thing to be unapologetically himself, that being honest is a good thing.

But as your eyes meet from across an ocean of people quagmired by crunchy leaves, sticky remnants of rain and his ex girlfriend who he now claims to be okay with being friends with, on her toes to poke his cheek whilst Chan's arm wraps around her waist, the soft white roses ornamented on a bow she loves wearing all the time, he thinks it's far from an agreeable trait to have.

Actually whilst you balance a newspaper under your arm and bring your coffee to your lips, it's like you're looking through him, past his skin, his flesh, something secret inscribed on his bones, embedded into his soul. You know everything, you know everything, you know everything.

The thought itself... surprisingly enough, doesn't appal him.

Hyunjin raises his palm in the air, feeling the autumn prickling against his skin. He waves at you.

—

Working at a library can be taxing. But it sure has its perks.

You can just about turn the place upside down and put it all back together without getting in trouble. Albeit another reason, besides your profession could be that Minho owns the place. Frankly, he may or may not have been the only cause behind your employment. It's hard to tell now that your co-workers really do recognise you've a knack for arranging things.

But to you, your job is very personal. A precious thing which relieves you from various worldly tensions. Velvety spines under your roughened fingertips, the burst of minted pages hitting your face every time you walk in, your love for reading, for a world of stories is so immense that you think you wouldn't have traded it even if your life depended on it.

For a disease that's not very well known, it's ironic how an entire section of mythology is dedicated to it. Past closing hours, amongst many novels mounted on your desk, you fixate on the one that made most sense. There's a few things you've picked up in common from all of them though — the hanahaki disease is extremely rare, it doesn't affect all those who suffer from the qualms of unrequited love.

Possible remedy according to findings entail

growths can be surgically removed, if the patient consents to eradication of memories of their loved ones.

Clanking of keys alerts incoming and you pause your tapping pen to look up.

"Burning the midnight oil, are we?"

Minho leans against the doorframe, he's half yawning, half talking and fully concerned for you.

"Yeah, looks like I'm gonna be a while." Your monotonous tone provides that you are not paying a lot of attention. You blurt without looking up. "Are you leaving?"

"No, still haven't finished archiving for that Pfizer project...But I'm going to get a bite to eat..." His inky eyes remain on you as his tone falters, "You want anything?"

"I'm fine. Thanks."

"Wow you're like...really uh invested." He tilts his head in thought, "You seeing someone again?"

You know Minho long enough to know he has a teasing side to him, from diaper days to play dates ending in pillow fights because he kept offering you his last Pringle just to pop it into his stupid smirking mouth — but you have no idea where he's going with this.

So you look up, finally. Furrowing your brows.

"No. What does that have to do with anything?"

He shrugs, "I haven't seen you concentrate so hard since you dumped Jeongin."

Your right eye twitches. Because you know exactly what he's referring to, and simultaneously, for the sake of your well-being, you much prefer being in denial. "What?"

"C'mon. Remember how you always ended up doing his homework?" He reminds you. "It's like when you like someone, you go out of your way to do charitable stuff for them. But...this? Too much. Even for you."

You ignore Minho's comment. To the world, Hwang Hyunjin's place in your life is not significant. After all this is the most natural undulation in the vicissitudes of life — for someone who once was your friend to eventually drift apart, to become a has been. It's too hard to explain why you care. After all this time.

"I was just being nice." You narrow your eyes, unimpressed. "Clearly this concept is lost on some people."

"Sure you are, bud. If being 'nice' is synonymous with whipped." Of course, there's a smug grin gracing his pouted lips that tempts you to fling something at him. Not that you can though. Seeing as Minho breaks out into a full fledged sprint, his singsongy voice a thinning echo bouncing off of shelves and windows and doors.

Still somehow his footsteps manage to travel through walls, permeating into your office with such great amplitude that you could be bamboozled into thinking he hasn't left at all. Or maybe you've stopped paying attention, your eyes zoom in on any other helpful detail you can put to use in wrapping your head around what you have witnessed firsthand.

At the same time, you can't really ignore how hungry you're feeling just from the mention of a bite to eat. So when Minho's shadow forms again on the page you've been 'reading' for the last few seconds you sense a gigantic wave of relief washing over you.

"You know what I changed my—" slamming the book shut, you blink against scanty provision of light, with raise your head and a bleary vision, recognise him in an instant. Except...it isn't Minho. "mind..."

The only source of brightness is a small emerald lamp perched on the corner of your desk, light green catches onto one of the ornamented corners and speckles of golden caress his supple skin gently. You hadn't realised how cold it might've been outside until you see how heavily dressed Hyunjin was, a long overcoat worn over woollen sweater, a Santa hat and muffler pulled to his chin. It's no one other than your boss himself who has given him directions to your office, you know this, Hyunjin has never been inside before.

So when he marvels absently, you sense yourself feeling a little self conscious about not cleaning up. All around you, a comforter and love seat pushed against the window, cigarette butts discarded in ashtray and then...the books strewn before you tell him you practically live here.

For some reason, Hyunjin only seems to loosen up at the spectacle.

"Hi." He says finally.

"Hi..." you arrange the reading materials quickly to one side so you can rest your elbows. A small (successful) attempt made to hide your research. "Something up?" You say, but what you really mean is, what are you doing here?!

Did he suspect you were going to tell on him? Right that's it, that must be it, you tell yourself, believing, knowing, of all the years Hwang Hyunjin has known of you he has never been one to care about your whereabouts.

"I just...um," He starts, forwarding his mitten clad hands. It's the back of a crumpled coffee cup on which straight handwriting reads a bucket list...of sorts. You immediately understand that his coming is an act of impulse. Urgency of living every moment like it's slipping through it's fingers, that he just needed to tell the only person who knows, be it by accident.

Hyunjin clears his throat. "I wanna do all this before I die."

In lieu of giving an instant response, baffled, you gawp at him. Despite knowing, hearing Hyunjin say it out loud somehow makes everything...too real.

It's as though someone's reached inside your throat, pulled your heart out and crushed it with their bare hands. Hyunjin, the boy who smelled like fabric softener and skittles and wore power ranger shirts, the boy with the fantastic smile and cold fingers, is dying. You won't let him. You can't let him.

You thumb along the numbers scribbled in hasty penmanship, look up and blink rapidly, "Okay," you say, a small whisper, barely there words. "That's okay."

Even with the hat covering tips of ears, you could tell the same faint blush coating his cheeks had rushed to that particular area. His eyes drift off to the sight of pens discarded inside a wooden holder because he can feel your gaze on him. "and I...I need your help."

"Alright."

Hyunjin's eyes widen to a great degree, he sits straighter, as if he hadn't expected you to comply so quickly.

And honestly? Neither had you.

It's quiet. Awkward.

"You know it's not like I haven't thought about dying. I just figured I'd get to grow old first, settle down, have kids and all that," A wry laugh escapes his parted lips. "Everything's happening too fast."

You hesitate, thinking he's making a mistake. Frankly he shouldn't feel obligated to give you an explanation.

"You...you don't have to tell me."

"No—I mean...can I?" He gives you a sheepish look, disliking his own whimsical tone, somehow endearing still. You find yourself wondering how long he had to keep his burdens to himself, not just pertaining to his illness, but everything. His dreams, his hopes, his fears. Anything which requires a certain amount of depth. And you almost ask him, the question sitting at the tip of your tongue, yet the realisation rather simple, stops you. Maybe you've mistranslated 21 year old Hyunjin all along — moulding himself into someone who's convenient around people who only liked him for who he appeared to be, maybe even with all that popularity, parties and glamour, he's just...lonely.

You push your reading glasses into your hair, press your knuckles under your chin and hum in consent.

He shifts in his seat, "Have you ever... been in love?"

You release an amused huff. Let your eyes linger on him for a long minute.

"Once."

Hyunjin half expects you to laugh. Poke fun at him for his melodramatic backstory. That's the sole reason why he doesn't tell his friends (funny, for people he considers close, they seem to know not much about him or care to know, that is. ). But you... you look at him with something in your eyes that tells him the rubbish reasons he posited makes all the sense in the world. Hyunjin's unsure of the tingle in his gut, why it's happening. But he thinks, just for a second, it feels a little like hope.

—

 Midnight rendezvous.

As someone who has lived a fairly extraordinary life, Hwang Hyunjin's bucket list is bafflingly ordinary. He's more of a finding joy in small things kind of a person, punctilious at best.

Things change. People notice. They hesitate, whisper about you and last night while you were out on last minute cheap wine run, the grocerer, a girl who looks around sixteen asks you if you're dating Hyunjin. Underneath the thinly veiled curiousity, there's something like anger dripping from her words.

You furrow your eyebrows in simple insinuation that it's weird for a stranger to take interest in your life. Maybe it was written on your face, the fact that you're a dying man's beck and call is for reasons far more complicated than it looks.

You go to his parties. Greet him as a friend would and not just for the sake of maintaining formalities. He comes to the library more times than he does, waits for you to get off work so you can check something off the list at least. People notice. People understand. Hyunjin's different around you. He's bright, talkative when he forgets to contain himself. You sense your heart swelling with pride just at the understanding that he can be himself around you.

You drive to the beach, sit in your trunk and drink straight out of the bottle.

Hyunjin laughs a little. Suspends his feet in the air. With time, he's gotten paler, exhausted. "Rough day?"

You hum.

"Very. Our children's collection is usually low in stock around the weekends."

Hyunjin crosses his arms over his chest. Curious.

"And?"

"And if I say I got yelled at by a toddler would you believe me?"

Hyunjin feigns contemplation, even with the realisation that his body is becoming less and less cooperative, he manages to remain perfectly cheerful.

"I can actually," he grins, "At that age, I was a real pain in the ass."

"Were?"

Your smile is just a slight curl against the bottle's mouth as he grumbles under his breath about your 'insensitive' remark.

You think of your life after Hyunjin, think of his absence like a gaping hole you'll never be able to fill out. It makes you sick to your stomach.

—

Bake something from scratch.

Hyunjin's face twists in apparent thought, eyebrows rising. A pink tongue poked against his cheek, whilst he chews carefully, trying really hard not to flash an accidental reaction whilst you clasp your butter and oat flour soiled hands together, some of the batter on your cheek, neck to anticipate his answer like your will to live depends on it.

You ask yourself how it got to this. Why you didn't care that you were awake so early on a Sunday morning with flour powdering every kitchen appliance in sight in spite of being awfully restrictive about who you let into your kitchen. But it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter because it's nice like this.

Hyunjin has his hair pulled away from his bare face, a mole under his eye, a small birthmark on the back of his ear.

When you first met, you thought he was a kind of handsome that couldn't be real. Something formidable about it. Only destined to exist behind fuzzy television screens and flashy magazines.

But in retrospect, you realise, that that's not true at all. 

If you look close enough, if you really pay attention, there's a softness underneath, something goofy, something warm, the sharp jut of his nose circling into a soft button, his eyes are big, black and his mouth jutted out into a natural pout, he looks innocent, like he doesn't quite realise the extent of his charms.

"It's..." His soft voice pulls you out of your reverie, and you look up to find his eyes glimmering jovially. Every time it surprises you, the lack of regret in them and the abundance of nonchalance. You wonder what it means to love someone like that, to love someone to the point of martyrdom. It shouldn't be like this. "perfect,"

"This is like, the only batch we didn't burn, right?"

You snort, "Yeah." Fully turn to him, "You know what they say, fifth time's the charm."

Hyunjin's laugh, you think, is so contagious that it makes it an imperative to smile in return. In shaky compartments the sound comes, like being 8, laying wide-eyed in a paddling pool and staring up at a crayon blue sky, raindrop rippling beyond all that noiseless water. His eyes curve to upturned crescents, an unconscious hand covering up the seams of his lips whilst he shakes his head. You don't even notice when he starts speaking again.

"Huh?"

"I said you got a little...something..."

You almost lose a fraction of your sanity when his nimble fingers come to wrap around your wrist while you hold onto the spatula employed into the whole snickerdoodle batter mixing business, a liberated hand coming up to gently wipe your cheek. It means everything to you. And nothing to him.

Later, when you're alone at night, really alone, you put your palm to your chest and feel the unsteady beat of your heart. A warning, a reminder. I can't. I can't. I can't.

—

You hold Hyunjin's hair up. His hands resting on the cold toilet seat, he's whimpering and bleeding. It happens every time he sees Haseul, or something which reminds him of her. Like the song.

This time she's drunk. And it's because she impulsively rises to her toes and presses a tender kiss to Chan's lips.

Hyunjin's just a feet away, across students and solo cups and streaks of neon falling irregularly through his line of sight.

He can never confess, not to her. The last thing Hyunjin wants is for her to feel bad for him. To say she feels the same as an act of service. He tells you. You understand. Somehow... you always understand.

They met in college, Hyunjin and she. And Chan was an upperclassman who seemed to be good at...well everything. At first, he couldn't figure out why it never occured to him before, the fact they were getting together maybe before, after or during the length of their relationship.

Though the answer is simple.

Hyunjin thinks the pillar to good relationships is trust. Call him a sappy romantic or whatever but he had seen true love manifest from it through generations before him and his parents and their parents. To think a different fate was woven for him...used to be unimaginable.

How ironic is that?

Hyunjin presses his cheek against your chest because he doesn't want you to look at him when he cries.

Then for the first time....he tells you he's scared. He's scared of what will happen to him. Of what is happening to him.

He's falling apart.

You cradle him, press him closer to your body like you're trying to put him together. People can't fix each other. Not really. But sometimes... they're worth the try.

"Hey...hey...it's alright," You shush him, run your fingers through his hair. Your voice almost breaking, faltering. Still this, this you mean it with every fibre of your being. "It's okay to be scared."

—

Self bleach hair.

It's Christmas and you're late for a late night dinner he's putting together. (As reluctant as he was about getting along with Hyunjin, he seems all too eager to make invite him whenever a get together takes effect.)

His apartment smells like floor cleaner. There's a queen sized bed pushed against an electric blue wall, a Fleetwood Mac poster taped to his door, small reading desk where Canon EOS New Kiss rests, polaroids of things checked off the list littered all its wooden surface.

You pick up the only photo he hasn't labelled, it reminds you that your friendship isn't just based off a pursuit. This is natural. Pizza box discarded between you two, on your roof top. It's a little too dark, you're holding a cigarette between your fingers, you're laughing and Hyunjin looks like he's going to complain the minute he's done taking the picture. (And he does.)

You smile, pressing your fingers against it like the touch could transport you to a simpler time.

"Ready to go?"

Hyunjin rakes a tentative hand through his newly dyed hair, grey (a suitable colour he says.). You can tell he's put a lot of effort into cleaning up, his usual hoodies and sweats alternated with a red satin shirt tucked into dark dress pants and a coat of the same colour.  Hyunjin is beautiful. Perhaps even more like this. In fact, the extent of this quality is so Goliath-like that it obliges dolled up attendees to marvel up in awe.  While you fully agree with their unsaid ponderings, you really do, you find yourself missing a less sophisticated version of him. 

"Yeah, but first..." you fish out a wrapped squarish material from the depths of your pocket. Hyunjin's eyes widen, two bunny-like teeth showing for the extent of his grin.

"You got me a present!" He all but rips it out of your hand, shaking the material eagerly. He’s a Christmas person, a supreme holiday enthusiast if you will. The sheer excitement in him projects itself in every physical aspect possible. Slight jumping on the balls of his feet. "It's a cassette...?"

You speak too much, nervous he doesn't like it. "It’s a Christmas mix. I thought...since you like carols. I know it's a little old school, I'm sorry if that’s not what you were hoping for—"

Hyunjin pulls you into a big hug, wrapping his entire body it feels like; his arms around your waist, he squeezes you tighter against him, "Thank you." He whispers into your hair, it's not just about the cassette, you can tell. 

There's a small light bulb dangling from his ceiling, he hasn't fixed it since the first time you pointed it out. You can tell with your eyes closed, you've begun to know more intimately than your own home. It's safe here. A place that deludes you into thinking that he's not running out of time, that even in his absence in the world, whenever you should walk into this room, it would be an imperative to find Hyunjin lazying about in its confines. Familiarity can be quite tricky, can't it?

His gratitude is not unknown to you. It's in the guilty smile that threatens to show every now and then, it's in this and it's in that. In many ways, it is not something you're a stranger to.

And yet the words manage to tears your heart at the seams. Just a little.

—

 Make a snow angel.

From above, he imagines, he may appear to look like a chunk of cookie dough in an ice cream pint.

The snow is not as comfortable as it appears, its frigid temperature seeps into Hyunjin's clothes (and what feels like his internal organs, if that's even possible). He waves his hands and legs inward, outward.

Your head tilts towards him. Face twisted in annoyance. "You're getting on my wing!" You say. "Have you no respect for personal space?!"

Hyunjin narrows his eyes jovially. And people tell him he's the one with a penchant for theatrics. He leans closer in rebuttal, waving his leg around your design with more purpose.  You give up. Sit on your knees, fumble with the snow. He’s still in the same position. Smug as ever...

"This is what happens when you disrespect your elders." He fake-warns. "Oka—"

What he doesn't anticipate, however, is the snowball you launch on his stupid grinning face. Now it's your turn to laugh. You clutch your stomach and point at him whilst he glares at you having barely managed to blow the snow off of his mouth.

"Oh, you're gonna get it now!"

You let out an animalistic screech, Hyunjin’s already trapped you under his weight, his thighs wound around your waist, hamstringing your plan to escape, now you're merely squirming. His fingers come down to attack your sides, digging into the flesh so mercilessly to the point you’re not sure if you’re laughing or crying. It's like there's a wildfire inside your lungs.

For a moment you forget, you let yourself forget what's to come.

“Alright, alright I’m sorry!” you press your palms against his chest in an attempt to push him off, Hyunjin has a dumb smile on his face that seems to give the impression of a hanger  stuck inside his mouth. But... there's something behind his entertainment as the sound of his laugh dies down, chest heaving with exercise. His smile drops.

You can count each lash, each freckle and line on his face. The dark in his eyes. The pink of his lips. Your sweater's ridden to your ribs. And the warmth of his fingers shifting against your bare skin hits you with an earthshattering force.

Hyunjin kisses you. For a fleeting second, you freeze. Rigid with shock. Then it passes as soon as it comes.

 You let out a noise of content,indubitably grateful that your neighbours forgot to put on their porch light for the night.  See it’s like this, the act of kissing is not as special as is the person himself, you muse, you can kiss anyone, you can touch and be touched by anyone. But none of that truly compares to this. Not when they aren't him.

You’d be lying if you said you never thought about it. Just like you’ve thought about a lot of things. But just the realisation that the boy you’ve harboured in your heart for more complicated reasons than you disclose, to yourself even, touches you with so, so much care...it’s tearing you apart. 

It’s too good to be real.

You suddenly push him away. The tugging and pulling at your heart too much to handle. For the fact remains — Hyunjin doesn't love you. He doesn't even like you. You never expected him to. Actually, you've never felt what you feel with that condition in mind either.

See when the feeling of having everything you could ever want is cradled between your palms...it ought to be hard to let go. (Maybe he’s just doing this because he feels bad for you, the little voice in your head says. You listen.)

Hyunjin speaks up first.

“I love Haseul.”  he tells you, but it sounds more like he’s telling himself. “That’s why...that’s why, all this...I love her.” Not you.

You swallow, “I know.” Your hands come up to dust your pants. Hyunjin’s still on his knees, as if the answer to his conflicts are deposited under all the snow. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, it’s not okay. I shouldn’t have, I shouldn’t have done—”

Now you hear it, the hint of pity in his voice. You don’t mean to sound as bitter as you do. Seeing as you’re usually very good at keeping calm , breaking that very reputed front frustrates you even more.

“Look just forget about it, okay? We don’t have to talk about this.”

Hyunjin looks like he didn’t expect this side of you to exist. At least, you think, at least it got him to stop talking.

—

Learn to skate.

"If I fall, I'm taking you with me."

"You say it like I have a choice."

Hyunjin shoots you a warning glare even though you can't see. His choppy skidding steps supported by the vice grip he has on your arms. You haven't skated since you were in highschool. But when you're pretty good at it still, the smooth blade of your beaten skates gliding through ice with much dexterity, it's like floating, freeing, the wind hitting your faces, snow catching in your lashes. It's peaceful, you try not to think about the warmth of Hyunjin's arm circling around body, the vague rhythm of his heartbeat against your back. His laboured breaths on your neck. It's torturous. But spending so much time with him has taught you to hide your feelings better.

The park welcomes a large crowd around holiday season, children with toothless grins, tugging onto their mum's coats, small chin resting onto a parents' head, teenagers moving in together in school uniforms. It's the happiest time of the year. When you move past an elderly couple, they smile and tell you make a wonderful couple.

You're just about to make a correction. This puts you in an awkward position... doesn't it?

But then Hyunjin grins toothily and says, Thank you, like it's the most amusing thing in the world. You ignore the wrenching inside your chest.

Hyunjin leans forward, his plump lips brushing against your ear. "Where did you learn to skate so well?!" There's something like excitement in his kiddish laugh aside from admiration. It's not much of a question as it is an exclamation.

"I am pretty good, aren't I?"

He laughs, doesn't let you go. "Yes, yes...really good."

Out of breath, you slow down, move your feet steadily, careful not to lose balance.

"Oh my God! It is you!"

You raise your head, blink against flakes hindering your vision. Jeongin's voice used to be thinner before. As far as you remember. Now it has a weight to it.

You let out a nervous laugh.

"And it's you..."

Jeongin's eyes travel to the arms around your waist, to the stiffened figure behind you and you immediately liberate yourself. Moving to let Hyunjin use your arm as purchase, you don't fail to notice the pinch in his forehead, a frown on his mouth.

"This is my friend Hyunjin. Hyunjin, this is Jeongin—"

"We used to go out." Jeongin smiles, forwarding his hand, which is returned with an unenthused shake and a demure reply. Hyunjin never speaks to anyone this way, not even people he claims to hate.

The former male looks to you again, "I was, uh... wondering if you'd like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime."

Things between you and him ended amicably at the event of his departure for further studies, which deprives you of awkward tension which is expected when exes meet.

Besides, a cup of coffee never hurt anyone.

Right?

Without thinking, you nod slowly, "Yeah that sounds good,"

"Text me anytime."

"Sure."

 “I'll be out of your hair then," he beams. "It was very nice meeting you too, Hyunjin."

"Right."

Hyunjin, you realise, has released your arm. He leans on barricades fencing along the skating area, smiling briefly. You know it’s wrong...yet you sense that you almost need him to be upset.

Then he tilts his head back towards you, "He seems like a really nice guy," he whispers, genuinely meaning every word. Your heart sinks. "I see the appeal." Underneath the lurid glare of fairy lights brandished overhead, Hyunjin's ash hair glints like it's threaded out of silver. You wonder what he's thinking.

—

 Watch every Disney movie ever made.

You never end up texting Jeongin back. Just stalling for when you're ready, you tell yourself. Even though that's not true at all.

"This brings back so many memories. My parents used to belt out A Whole New World with me, like every time we watched Aladdin."

Hyunjin wipes his face with the back of his hand, technically you’re not very sure what he’s saying exactly because he’s mumbling into a paper napkin you've  passed over for the umpteenth time. You find yourself picturing a small but happy family of three, of Hyunjin in Scooby Doo pajamas and gap between his teeth. (Contrary to your previous convictions, he hasn't changed all at much, save for the teeth bit. ) It's cute.

He looks to you expectantly. Can't be the only one telling embarrassing stories.

You shrug, "I had a thing for Simba. Let's just say my mum and dad were nice enough to indulge me."

Hyunjin reaches for the remote and pauses the ending credits of Lady and the Tramp. He turns to you fully now, gives you a judgemental stare. "Simba...?" He says, "Like the...lion?"

"What? It's normal to crush on fictional characters, okay?!"

"Okay,sure," Hyunjin snorts, putting a pillow between you and him so you can't kill him. "furry."

A part of you is tempted, obviously. But the much bigger part is more invested in how he looks happier, healthier. You want to think that means something.

—

Hyunjin invites you over for movie night. It's getting colder and you keep poking him with your cold feet. There's an extra set of blankets in his cupboard, he informs you, he isn't sharing his with you — and that's when you see it.

The deflated pink donut folded to the side, his and yours sharpie inscribed initials on one side. 

"Found it yet?"

You don't even notice when he comes to stand behind you. So the question effectively makes you jump out of your skin. Hyunjin has a bowl of popcorn pressed to his chest, there's a pink hair band holding his hair away from his forehead. For the lack of a answer he takes it on himself to find the source of your silence. As if you've been caught red handed.

You think this is where he'll ask you to leave, that or he'll least scold you or something. You prepare for the worst.

Hyunjin just smiles, it's a big smile that succeeds in bringing out the small dimple indented on the side of his cheek. You've never noticed before. It's kinda weird. Because when it comes to him, your attention hardly ever falters.

"You probably don't remember. That’s from Seungmin's 15th birthday,"

You want to scoff under your breath. All this time you had told yourself that you were the only one to be affected by your estranged friendship growing up. Now...the same logic colours you every bit of ridiculous. 

You blink away, swallowing. Voice solemn.

"I remember." Hyunjin's gaze is heavy on your shoulders. An emotion you can't quite put a finger on crosses his delicate features. It's something between surprise and relief... something else too. You don’t understand it. 

—

It's disconcerting that he can’t remember the last time he got sick. Not the usual discomfort inside his chest, not the blood, not the thorns or petals. Hyunjin's just gotten so used to it, you know? What if he gets his hopes up for no good reason? What if it just comes back?

There's no possible explanation, he explains over a hasty 3 A.M message he had to leave on your answering machine because he's freaking out.

Then Haseul texts Hyunjin, tells him she misses him. Everything's adding up. Everything's falling into place. This is what he wanted, isn't it? She loves him, she finally loves him back. That must be it. He doesn't know what to say. 

But he tells you, and when he does, it sounds a lot like an apology.

— 

Kiss underneath a mistletoe. 

“Chan and I broke up.” She says it like it’s something he should be happy about. So when he remains quiet, it only prompts her to speak more, fill up the big mighty silences. 

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Look Jinnie, I know I made a mistake, but...can’t you give a second chance? Just this once?”

Hyunjin has thought about this particular moment a lot. Kissing her instead of producing a response, pulling her off of her feet and mumbling of course, of course, of course. Back then, there were little doubts in his head pertaining to her, back then he believed that she was the only one for him. The love of his life at the wrong time, in the wrong place.

Now...something doesn’t feel right. 

The thing about wounds, sometimes, of the heart in particular, is when they close up, it’s hard to make head or tails of the kind of person you become in their wake. Hard to adjust. Like when he suddenly shot up 7 inches in ninth grade, a late bloomer at that, and the weight of his new sneakers felt..odd.

He glances at her and also understands what it’s like to be lonely, the constant need to compensate for it by grasping at the last straw. He used to be in her shoes too. This isn’t any different.  Albeit, he isn’t exactly taken by her presence. Just that he doesn’t know if what he’s doing is right. He looks over your table a few feet away from where he’s standing. Having gone out to take a call. You notice his absence and then from your seat, do your best to locate him. (he thinks of kissing you on a bed of snow, thinks of the sizzle of your skates against ice, thinks of his list on a coffee cup and his pink water donut and it’s okay to be scared. Why did it have to be you of all people, through everything? It’s not really a work of coincidence. Not at all actually.

  Maybe he just wanted it to be you.)

When your eyes do lock...seeing him with his hands in his pockets, her standing beyond the barrier as she tries to say something, you smile, even if it’s a little sad. Hyunjin thinks to the conversation some nights before. Thinks of you reminding him that there's nothing to lose at this point, that he should do what his heart tells him. That it’ll be alright, if he just takes a leap of faith. Hyunjin smiles back. Through the glassy exterior and mini water fountains running down its slanted form. The realisation is not as dramatic as he thought. It’s just late.

 He tears off the false mistletoe decoration glued along the periphery of an arch.

And like always.

He takes your advice.

— 

Cohorts of guests pour into the colossal hotel, heads turning in quiet admiration for bejeweled arches breaking out against buttery white architecture, the roof is impossibly naked, translucent glass baring a starlit sky to your watchful eyes. Showing little mercy to a frail chute held over your head,costumed characters wade through oceans of gossamer, twinkling silver and swaying movements to slow jazz. You prop a heeled foot up on the bar platform, which strangely resembles a pedestal, in a futile attempt to catch your breath, with clammy digits settled atop the risky surface of a marbled counter. A soft voice speaks over the ambience, uttering your name with much care. You lift your head. And there he is.

Jisung is scouring through the Spotify playlist you’ve put together for New Year’s Eve. He’s complaining about the lack of Beyoncé while your friends go around the buffet table. When he calls you, you’re sipping your drink, laughing at something Changbin is saying, his eyes brighten just at the sound of your laugh.  Hyunjin isn’t surprised to see his friend taking a liking of you even though he hardly knows you. That’s just the effect you have on people.

Excusing yourself, you allow him to walk you to a less densely populated area where a stone pillar faces expensive paintings of nameless painters. With the effect of alcohol settling in and your inhibitions effectively lowered, your steps sway a little. You lean against the massive build rising from tiled floor. “So what’s up?” you murmur, the lump in your throat thickening just at the thought of him speaking the good news into existence. “I take it went well?”

 Hyunjin doesn't answer. He looks distracted for a bit. Then in an instant he snaps out of his daze. “What did you mean when you said ‘once’?”

Your brows come together in inquiry.

“What?”

"When I asked you if you have ever been in love, you said ‘once’." He persists, his fingers come up to your shoulder, grazing slightly as if they’re trying to carve out words against the skin. "You weren’t talking about Jeongin.”

He knows. He’s always known. Hyunjin can’t believe he’s been so stupid.

“Took you long enough.” You let out a sardonic laugh.“Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it?”

"It matters to me..." Hyunjin sounds offended, you gather, but he manages to quell his temper for the sake of coaxing your confession. Is he purposely embarrassing you?  "I don’t think...I love Haseul anymore...I didn’t realise...I haven’t for a long time."  

A big chandelier beams over withering plants pushed against the ceiling, in this poor supply of light, you can tell exactly how he looks, eyes glimmering adoringly, you've spent something-teen years of your life wondering what it's supposed to mean. And it still manages to confuse you.

"Why are you telling me this?" you ask, albeit you already know.  Because funnily enough, before he got his braces removed and dyed his hair a scandalous blonde, before bucket lists and heartbreak, he was just the boy who told you he liked your stupid reindeer sweater even though it had officially made you the 7th grade laughing stock. You remember being fifteen and in love with Hyunjin. And you've never actually stopped. You need to hear it to believe it.

It drives you crazy. The way Hyunjin brushes his fingers against your cheek, shifting strands away from your eyes. But you can't help it, you've always wanted this. You lean into the caress, peering up at him as his large hand cups your jaw, thumb traversing from your tilted chin to your glossy lips like he's trying to smooth out all the creases. His voice is small, a whisper.

"Because I need you to know I think I’m falling in love with you.” he says. His palm opens and there’s a plastic mistletoe nestled between his fingers. You’re smiling and sniffling whilst his forehead comes to press against yours. Hyunjin grins. “And there’s still one last item on my list.”

“Are you seriously asking me to land one on you now?”

“Oh hell yeah.”

— 

"Move."

You press your fingers against the slick, sweaty skin.

In rebuttal, Hyunjin grumbles under his breath. Only half awake, half aware that he was mumbling in his sleep. His naked chest seems to be, if it’s even possible, glued to your bare front as he sprawls out like a starfish over your body, using his gangly arms to accommodate the strange position.

Though and you know he knows it too — it’s anything but uncomfortable.

See by now, you aren't exactly a stranger to Hyunjin's sleeping habits. Or really, any habits of his.

All the windows are cracked open, moonlight percolating through a thin sheet of curtains in rendering evidence that it’s still night time. You can make out the faint sound of  honking in the distance, a few stray dogs here and there, probably producing strings of complaints about the blatantly unbearable heat.

The strong stench of sweat and an aftermath of what happened before is a quick reminder of where you are, what you’re doing and that your arm’s going cold for a lack of circulation under his weight. Beads of sweat collected against his skin and trickle down the side of your face, the crook of your neck, which only prompts you to apply more force to the pads of your index and pointer — albeit it did nothing to move him, "Gross." You groan. "You're sweating like a pig!"

This comment, of all the things you've tried to get him to sleep on his side, succeeds in making Hyunjin raise his head, his grey hair matted down, a few rogue strands pushed out to fall over the unamused look in his eyes.

In an unprecedented minute of absolute clarity, something inside your stomach started to churn at the shocking sight. You’re impossibly, absolutely and nauseatingly in love with Hwang Hyunjin and the funny thing is, you don’t have to think twice to know he is too.

"Gross?" Hyunjin lowers his face to brush his pouted lips along your jaw, grinning when you let out a shaky but involuntary breath and as if he is looking to make a point with his digits traversing from your bare stomach, just along the hem of your underwear,   "After all that?"

"I hate you." You say — but more like, stutter. The sound of his giggles eliciting a strange sensation in you, reverberating against your chest, knocking against his ribs and your skin, like it’s trying to reach out to you, like your bodies insist on melding into one.

"I don’t think you’re being honest, baby." He laughs, squeezing your side, coming up to plant a warm palm to your butt to repeat the action, which in turn, drew a mewl from you. “Because you looove me.” Hyunjin smirks, his finger thumbing along your throat to your chin. You think this is what all those great poets meant in endless litanies of lovers torn apart by time and war woven together in a simple caress, like a longing, like a secret. Guarded from prying eyes, greedy hands, and you keep it, you keep it. For him. With him.