#HOW HE THOUGHT HIS LOVE HAD DIED BUT NOW SHE'S BACK.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
A Love that Burns
Marcus Acacius x f!reader
A/n: You don’t understand the chokehold this man has on me ughhhhh. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy, I wrote this very fast!
Pairing: Marcus Acacius x wife character (I usually do x reader but I really like the name Aurelia so I used that!)
Warnings: fluff, angst, arranged marriage, Curse words, mention of fire, minor injuries, burns. A bit of suicidal ideation. Allusion to smut hehe. 18+ to be safe please. No minors!!
Summary: General Marcus Acacius’s new bride is troublesome, he doesn’t seem to mind though. After an incident occurs she pulls away from him and he can’t figure out why.
****************************************************
“He’s going to be furious…”
“Such a shame…do you think he’ll throw her out?”
“He might… we always knew she was trouble but this time she’s gone too far…”
“Poor dear, I doubt even her father will take her back…”
The roaring flames had long since died down, leaving now only crackling embers and dark clouds of smoke. How much time had passed you didn’t know. You hadn’t moved from the ground, knees planted on the hard stone, eyes glued to the scene before you.
What was once a grand structure, beautifully carved and molded for someone equally as impressive was now nothing more than a pile on the ground and it was completely your fault.
How had wanting to get a book out of your husband’s study and lighting a candle to see had gone so wrong?
You should’ve listened to your conscious, it told you that you shouldn’t go into your husbands private building but you knew he had an extensive selection and while you were newly married, barely even a few months he was your husband and you didn’t really think he would mind.
In the short time you were married the general had been accommodating and civil, more than civil actually, he had been doing his best to make you feel comfortable. That being said you did barely see him at times due to his duties and when you did it seemed all you did was cause him trouble.
Like that time you accidentally visited the animals one early morning when you were bored and didn’t shut the door behind you. Acacius had been abruptly woken up by the clucking of chickens ascending the staircase and running around the halls like it was a party. You had been redder than a pomegranate when you realized your mistake.
Or that time you lost your wedding necklace and spent hours wading in the lake where the laundry was washed thinking it fell there. You’d never forget the feeling when Acacius strode through the gates in tow with fellow commanders for a meeting but everyone froze seeing the comical sight of you, a highborn lady dress pulled up and soaking wet. That time made you want to drown yourself right then and there.
Oh and how could you forget the time you wanted to show your appreciation by baking his favorite dessert according to the maids and thought adding some cinnamon you’d bought in town was a good idea. Not even bothering to wonder why the kitchens didn’t have cinnamon in the first place… turns out the reason was a good one, the general had an allergy.
This time it was his face that was redder than yours… you didn’t face him for days after that..
There were so many moments like that but somehow each time he didn’t get angry like you expected. He didn’t yell or scold you.
When you bit your fingers nervously watching the servants try to catch the chickens he slowly walked out, surveyed the scene in what you could guess was mild disbelief and perhaps a bit of amusement, looked at you then turned back to go back to sleep.
When you were soaked in the lake he quickly regained the men’s attention, led them inside then a few minutes later reappeared with some haste. You didn’t get a chance to protest when he stepped in and pulled you out by your arm. Still he didn’t yell, he did start to scold a bit though because you were shivering, but when you suddenly yelped and squirmed reaching in your dress and pulled revealing a flopping fish with your necklace around it he lost all his words. You celebrated while he just started in disbelief.
And when you literally poisoned him you sobbed beside him as the healer frantically gave him several mixtures and an injection of some sort. You apologized over and over like a parrot. When he could finally breathe again, he closed his eyes exhausted but said, “Don’t cry, it tasted great..”
All those times he was so kind, unlike any other man you’d met before. To think you had been so afraid of the arranged marriage and now all you could think was how he deserved someone so much better.
He was older and saw you as a child you were sure of it. You wished you could act like the other wives, but you just couldn’t.
Your eyes glazed watched the flickers before you as if in a trance.
You’d burned his favorite place in the villa. A building constructed years ago that served as his study, his place of comfort, his safe space. He’d showed it to you when you first got married. You’d been amazed at how beautiful it was on the inside.
You could see on his face how this place made him relaxed compared to the rest of the villa.
And now it was gone..
The whispers of the servants were muffled around you but you caught them all the same.
You couldn’t find the strength to move, maybe you should have at least moved back, away from the falling ash and debris but you couldn’t.
You ruined everything, just like always…
There was some more muffling amongst the crackling, some sounds you didn’t register, couldn’t register… then a sharp yell. A tone you didn’t recognize.
“Why is she-!”
There was pressure on your shoulders but still you couldn’t look away.
All gone… all your fault…
You think you heard something loud but couldn’t understand it.
The pressure increased… so did the shouting but still you couldn’t look away.
It wasn’t until you saw the burnt pile get smaller that you realized you were being pulled- no carried away.
You felt so disoriented, everything in your vision jerking and you realized whoever was moving you was running.
The scene was still in view but further away, your eyes not daring to look away. You did however register that you abruptly stopped moving and were sat on something upright. The pressure returned to your head then arms then body.
Yelling, someone was yelling in your ear but it wasn’t until the pressure reached your face and you were forced to look away from the scene.
Eyes, wide and frantic, searched yours. Lips opened and shouted something you still could not understand. But the face you knew all too well. The one you wronged, the one you did a horrible misdeed to. Acacius.
You inhaled loudly, more of a gasp then coughed. Suddenly you felt everything crash into you at once, from when you were numb a moment ago now you burned in pain, lungs on fire, skin itchy and stinging, eyes feeling like the sun itself were upon them. You coughed and sputtered uncontrollably, breathing a foreign concept to you.
His strong hands at your back and arm. Almost cradling you was a strong contrast to his shouts that you could now hear louder than ever.
“Breathe, easy, easy- Dammit why did no one move her! Call the healer now!” He barked behind him.
Angry he was angry. Of course he was, even gentle and kind men like him had limits, limits that you’d crossed by battlefields.
Hot tears came, still you coughed, you wondered how long you could continue like that before losing consciousness, there were already spots in your vision. The sobbing now made it worse.
“Shh shh breathe it’s alright, just breathe for me wife, all is well, shh look I’m here, you’re safe” he pulled you into his lap holding you firmly in the hopes you’d calm down. He kept whispering to you, pleading and eventually the coughing stopped. You wondered how much more smoke it would’ve taken to kill you…
“That’s it, you’re safe, shh just breathe, I’m here” more tears emerged as you registered his words for the first time. How horrible you felt to have this angel of a man cradling you and comforting you when you just burned down his sanctuary.
It would have been easier on your heart had he yelled and thrown you aside.
“The healer is here!” Someone called out, your eyes were closed on his chest but you heard everything around you.
Swiftly you were lifted in his arms and carried to his chambers. The healer immediately got to work peeling back the fabric you only now noticed was dark as ash and singed in many places. Acacius stood behind her as close as he could without getting in her way. You watched as his eyes scanned your form, concern etched as he took in all the burns and scrapes. Your heart couldn’t handle it, he deserved a woman 100times better than you. You shut your eyes of the heartache ignoring the healer telling you to stay awake, moments later you were unconscious.
**************************************************
Stinging pain roused you, you wanted to cry out because your body was screaming at you. You were alone in the room, but by the moonlight shining through and how exausted you felt you didn’t think you had been unconscious long. Fresh tears escaped and you didn’t bother to wipe them.
You sat up in raw agony realizing just how many injures you sustained. Your skin was covered in loose bandages and shiny from salve. Sitting so close at the time you didn’t feel anything but clearly you were affected.
Shouting from below had your head whipping to the window.
With great effort and pain you stood on shaky legs and approached the opening peeking your head outside, you squinted and saw figured in the yard.
You choked out a sob when you realized what was happening. Acacius was yelling… yelling at the servants and guards for not moving you. Yes they put out most of the fire but didn’t bother with you. You hardly blamed them, you were a burden, an embarrassment of a lady to the great house hold. Perhaps they wanted you to die, actually it would have been easier if you did.
You couldn’t bare to listen to it anymore, guilt eating you alive. For some reason you had to see it again. To confirm what you had done…
You ignored all the pain and like a ghost descended the staircase.
When you reached the bottom you sucked in a breathe before walking forward where the smell of smoke was still heavy and thick.
And there it was, like a brand on your heart the scene of your crime. There were no more embers, just wood and ash. You walked closer until you stepped on something.
You moved your sandal revealing a silver medal covered in soot. You remembered how proudly it hung on one of the walls. And now it was beneath rubble and dirt.
Two hands found your mouth as you let out a cry.
“Heavens What have I done?” The strangled voice sounded stranger to you.
“What have I done, what have I done” you whispered achingly.
“Aurelia!”
You choked again hearing his voice, you couldn’t bring your self to look just yet.
“Aurelia what are you doing!? Why are you up!?” He rounded you hands finding your shoulders.
Acacius waited for your answer but you had none, only fresh tears. He barely hesitated before reaching down and scooping you up.
“I can walk-“ you tried to say but it was unintelligible through your tears, you didn’t want to burden this man ever again, not for anything.
He glanced at you for a moment but continued his quick pace to the bedroom. He laid you gently on the bed, his concern growing at the endless tears.
“Are you in pain? Let me call the healer back-“ he was already halfway out again.
“No-! no I’m fine I’m fine don’t call I’m fine!” You cried out but tried to collect yourself to not worry him more. The truth is your body was on fire but you would never burden this man again.
He hesitated but listened and approached you again, “Then what is it? Are you afraid? Everything’s alright now, your safe”.
You bit your lip to keep in the cry. How could he be so kind?
“Aurelia? Tell me please, what is it?” He kneeled beside you a helpless expression on his face.
“I-I I’m so- im so sorry, I’m sorry- I don’t know how- I was in there for a b-book and lit some candles I don’t even know how it h-happened I-I-“
Your breathing was becoming erratic again but once you started apologizing you couldn’t stop
“I’m so s-sorry Acacius I’m so sorry” you buried your face in your hands.
“Aurelia shh it’s alright, don’t cry, it’s nothing that can’t be replaced, don’t apologize, you need to breathe alright?”
You barely heard him, but you needed him to know how sorry you were, even if you didn’t deserve forgiveness.
“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry” you continued.
“Aurelia-“
“I’m s-sorry”
“Aurelia stop you’ll hurt yourself more!” He kneeled on the bed pulling you closer to him, worried that if you didn’t calm down you would go into another coughing fit.
“Shh it’s alright, I’m not angry, all that matters is you’re safe. Please calm down, can you breathe slowly for me? Look, follow my breathe…”
“That’s it, breathe in and out just like that, good girl…” he held you close and you felt your eyes begin to droop, exhaustion taking its toll. He sighed when your last words were a whispered apology.
***************************************************
The next day you were miserable, the burns although mostly shallow still caused great pain. Mentally you were a wreck, replaying the events over and over.
The healer told you you needed to rest for several days so that’s what Acacius made sure you did. He visited often but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak hardly a thing out of shame. Most times you just pretended you were asleep.
A week passed and you were allowed to get up as normal just to take it easy. Acacius had gone out for some business luckily because you didn’t think you had the strength to face him.
As you descended the stairs you tried to ignore the whispers of the servants. They all thought the same thing you were repeating in your mind.
Burden
Shameful
Useless
You sighed shakily nearing the now cleaned land where the structure once stood. His kindness made you feel horrible. You wish he would yell and scream at you, for you deserved all the bad words
You spent the day aimlessly wandering and thinking until you tired yourself out and retired to your chambers.
A jar of salve was left by your bed from the healer for the pain but you didn’t open it. You deserved every single sting and ache.
The next day you hardly felt like getting up so you didn’t. Food was brought, you didn’t bother eating it, instead you gave it to the birds outside the window.
In your solitude you came to a resolve. You would resist every urge, every inkling of your old reckless self. Acacius deserved someone who was 100 times the woman you were but since you were bound all you could do was at least not give him any more trouble. Another week passed, Acacius had been gone for some military business and it was easier that way.
It had been a whole nother week when Acacius finally arrived back to the villa. He dismounted his horse with a sigh. He did not want to be gone so long but he could hardly deny the emperors requests.
Tiredly he walked through the gates, scanning for signs of you. It was unusual to not see you flitting about.
A servant approached and helped him remove his cape.
“The Lady, how is she?”
The servant frowned a bit, “My Lady has been… resting these past weeks. We’ve not seen much of her.”
He frowned at that. Her wounds were not so terrible to have her bedridden so long. So what was wrong with his wife?
He nodded to the servant and made way directly to her chambers.
He knocked on the door listening for her voice.
“Come in” you called expecting a servant with food.
You were sat on the bench by the window staring out.
“My Lady..” he said almost hesitant.
Your head whipped to the side, eyes widened seeing your husband.
“A-Acacius… I didn’t know you were back…”
He walked inside and shut the door behind him.
“Are you well? The servants tell me you haven’t left the room much..” he stepped closer taking you in. Your sunken face, the way your eyes weren’t lit up with that sparkle he loved.
“I’m alright, thank you..” he frowned, not quite satisfied with the answer.
“Your wounds are healed?”
You nodded quickly.
He nodded then cleared his throat in the awkward silence that followed, “Then why haven’t you been out?”
You thought of what to say for a moment, “I… no reason, just resting I suppose”
Another answer that didn’t satisfy him but he decided not to pry. If you didn’t want to speak he wouldn’t make you uncomfortable.
“Well I’ll be in my chambers should you need anything…”
“Thank you..” and with that he left shutting the door behind him. You bit your lip forcing the tears not to come. How dare you cry when he’s the one who should be upset. Get it together.
Several more days pass and Acacius was growing frustrated. You barely left the room, choosing to take your meals inside even when he was home. He only caught glimpses of you here or there on the occasional walk around the garden but even that was becoming rare. Where was his wife who was always flitting around singing something off tune or getting into trouble. He recalled the time he awoke to clucking outside his door, and the time he found you skirts tied comically splashing in the lake, then of course when you so happily baked for him flour marks on your face. He smiled fondly at the memories, then frowned.
Why had you suddenly changed so much? Had he done something? He knew the fire shook you up but perhaps he said something unintentional? Did you overhear him yelling at the staff and resented him for it? He was going mad.
It took another few days before his patience finally ran out and he all but burst into your room.
“A-Acacius?! What-“ you startled dropping the book in your hands.
“Tell me what it is” he demanded a bit out of breathe.
“W-what?”
“Tell me what’s wrong or what I’ve done to upset you into seclusion”
“Acacius you’ve done nothing wrong I swear…”
“Then what is it? Why have you been avoiding me? What has upset you so much that you’ve locked yourself away?”
You didn’t expect this, so you really didn’t know what to say.
“I… I think it’s better this way…”
His eyebrows furrowed a bit trying to make sense of what you just said. “I don’t understand, what’s better?”
You fiddled with your hands and had a hard time making eye contact so you chose a lovely spot on the floor instead.
“It’s better that I don’t…. cause problems..” heavens was that a lot harder to say out loud than you thought.
This definitely took him aback.
“What?”
Oh no was he upset now? He surely looked it.. maybe you should have explained better.
“I-I mean… I’m always causing you trouble and getting into situations that I shouldn’t… I figured it would be better if I spent more time here….”
He was quiet for a while, his face undeniably confused and upset.
“And you decided this all on your own?” He said in a tone that you were a bit nervous about. Calm but hidden anger.
“I-I… yes..”
“So your plan is to live out the rest of your days between these four walls?” He couldn’t hold back a scoff. His annoyance seeping through his usually calm demeanor with you.
“….It’s better-”
He clicked his tongue in annoyance “Better? Better for who exactly?”
“Acacius all I do is cause you trouble! I’ve been embarrassing you since we wed, the entire household thinks I’m a burden and they’re right, I cannot-I will not burden you anymore especially after-…” you couldn’t bring yourself to mention the fire. With a shakey breath you gathered yourself and continued.
“I just don’t want to upset you anymore…” you confessed.
The silence was deafening, your heart squeezing so much you were afraid it was going to burst.
“You know out of everything that’s happened between us I think this is the only time I’ve been truly upset.”
You eyed him swallowing dryly taking in his clenched jaw and crossed arms.
“Acacius…”
“You don’t get to decide this all on your own, and you especially don’t get to decide how I feel.”
“…”
“Have I ever been cross with you? Made you feel as if you’ve shamed me?”
“Well no but-“
“Then why?” In two strides he was upon you looking down.
“Why did you suddenly decide that I would like it more if you hid yourself away?”
“Because if I’m here not causing you problems then wouldn’t it be easier for you…?” You wrung your hands together, anxiety heightening with every moment.
“Fuck that”
You jumped a bit startled that those words came out of his mouth.
“W-what?”
“Cause me problems”
“Acacius-“
“Break things, scream shout, bring the whole villa down if you wish it but you will not lock yourself up like a prisoner. You’re my wife, I’d like to actually have you around.”
“You… you’re just saying that because you’re too kind Acacius… but my heart can’t take it anymore. I did something so awful and I know you must be upset…”
“Is this about the fire then?”
“…”
“Things can be replaced, nothing that burned cannot be bought again or rebuilt.”
“B-but you loved that place. It was your sanctuary”
“I did love it, but it’s gone now and I hardly think about it, it’ll be rebuilt soon enough not that it really matters. What matters is that you’re safe and sound.”
“How can you be so kind? So patient so-so perfect” he scoffed at the last one in mild amusement.
“Acacius it’s true! I’ve never met someone so gentle and sweet”
“Gentle and sweet..I’ll be sure to add that to my title right after general or Rome”
“You joke but it’s the truth…” you look down at your sandals.
He sighed before lifting your chin up with his warm fingers then caressing your face, wiping away your tears with his thumb.
“Tell me something wife, have you seen me act that way with anyone else?”
“Well…” you thought about it. He was civil with everyone.. stern a lot, with servants and his men and well everyone else…
“And why do you think that is hm?”
“Well… I assume it’s because you see me more as a child…”
“A child.” He repeated.
You nodded.
“Aurelia you are never allowed to assume anything ever again”
“What?”
“You truly think that’s how I see you? That I treat you kindly because I pity you?”
“Well…then why?” You asked genuinely confused.
“Why treat my wife with care? Why worry for her? Why speak gentle words? Why shower her with gifts? Tell me Aurelia why does a man do those things for a woman?”
“I… I assumed-um well I believed that you were just..”
“Just what? Doing that out of duty? Is it so impossible to imagine that I love my wife and want her to be happy?”
“….” Your eyes widened larger than the sun. You hardly believed the words. So you asked him in a whisper.
“W-what did you s-say?”
Instead of answering he leaned forward closing the distance with a soft kiss.
“Does that answer your question?” He breathed in the few inches between your lips.
You shook your head no and leaned in. You felt the smirk against his lips. After several moments you pulled back to regard him.
“I never imagined you’d feel the same way…I still don’t think I believe it…”
“Like I said, you’re forbidden to assume things from now on wife”
“I… I’m sorry…” his hands settled at your waist, his smell flooding your senses.
“Make it up to me…”
You felt the heat rise in your cheeks but didn’t want to disappoint. You wrapped your arms around him pulling him into a deeper kiss full of emotion.
“Never allow such thoughts in your mind again, and you’re wrong, you’re not a burden. Yes I’ll admit you have a habit of getting into unique situations but I don’t mind, in fact I look forward to what surprises await me each day.”
“Do you really mean it? Even if I do awful things…? “
“Yes I mean it.. although I will draw the line at one thing, never do anything to put yourself in danger. When I saw you by the flames I-“ he paused sucking in a breathe.
And that moment you heart finally caught up with your head because no man could fake the emotions on his face like that.
You hugged him whispering an apology into his shoulder.
“You’ve apologized enough for a lifetime, come, dine with me, you’ve lost weight…” you nod letting him pull you by the hand out the door.
You heard some voices and frowned, anxiety creeping up again.
Ever the perfect man he caught on immediately.
“What is it?”
“The servants… it’s been hard to be around them… you might accept me for who I am but they haven’t…”
“I wouldn’t worry about it”
You cocked your head a bit at his amused tone, “why?”
“Because I fired them all”.
“Acacius!”
“Don’t protest, it’s done. I blame myself for not realizing what heartless people resided in my home. Besides I think you’ll like the new staff a lot better..”
You descended the staircase still confused why he seemed so smug until you heard voices you hadn’t heard in months.
“My Lady!”
“My Lady we’re here!”
“Oh how we’ve missed you!”
You couldn’t contain the loud gasp when your eyes landed on the familiar faces below. The staff that practically raised you was beaming up at you with joy.
“Oh my- Marika! Cicero! Diana! Felix! Ahh you’re all here!” You practically jumped from the staircase onto the group of your favorite people in the world.
Acacius couldn’t help but chuckle as the group enveloped you pulling you in, hugging and kissing you. Hardly the kind of servants he was used to but now he understood why you were so saddened to leave them behind. After your embraces you pulled back.
“What are you doing here? Is Father here?”
“You mean you don’t know?” The words would have worried you had everyone not been smiling ear to ear.
“Know what?” The general has employed us all here.
“W-what?!” You snapped your head to your grinning husband.
“B-but how did you- father must’ve been- h-how!?”
He laughed and descended the last couple steps, “I can be very persuasive if I need to be dear wife.”
“Oh- oh I don’t believe this!” you couldn’t contain your joy and parted from the group to jump on your husband who stumbled a bit but caught you of course. You kissed him then and there not caring who was watching- well in fact you didn’t care because everyone in the room were people you loved and felt safe with.
He was a bit surprised but when you pulled back his face was quickly morphed into fondness and satisfaction that the gleam in your eye was back.
“There she is..” you sighed happily hugging him once more then ran back to the awaiting group.
Well actually you made it halfway before pausing, turning around with an unsure look, and walking slowly back to him.
He tilted his head curious, “Acacius… will you… will you allow me to properly thank you… tonight? If that’s- if that’s something you’d like… or-“ your face that lovely shade of red he’d come to admire.
“Something I’d like?” He scoffed and for a moment you were afraid until you saw the expression in his eyes.
“Well I didn’t want to assume… you’ve forbidden it remember.” He smirked leaning down by your ear so only you could hear him.
“Listen well wife. This is the only exception you may always assume...” You shivered feeling his breathe caress your ear.
Gentle and sweet and now you had a new word to add, although you couldn’t quite find the right one just yet. But oh were you ever so eager to find out…
***************************************************
Is it getting hot in here guys?? No? Just me? Anywayyyy hope you enjoyed. I threw this up in one sitting so forgive all the mistakes. I finally saw the movie and wow, who knew they could fit so many hot men on one screen.
Also can anyone think of a better title lol😅
#gladiator 2#fluff#angst#smut#marcus acacius#general acacius#acacius x reader#gladiator ii#arranged marriage#injury#wife#Acacius x wife#Acacius#fanfic#romance#funny#x reader#general acacius x reader#self insert#general acacius x you#Acacius x you#pedro pascal#marcus acacius x reader#Marcus Acacius fanfiction#emperor geta#geta
187 notes
·
View notes
Text
we mourned the sea ˚⁎⁺ chapter 3
> Crossposted on AO3
Levi hasn't seen you in a year, and he wonders how you will find him. Changed, perhaps. Lost, definitely. Or: After the war, you and Levi learn to live in this new world.
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Levi Ackerman / Female Reader (Attack on Titan)
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 - Rated Explicit (18+). Post-Canon, Post-War, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Grumpy/Sunshine, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Chronic Pain, Panic Attack, Depression, Ambulatory Wheelchair Use, Irregular eating habits mentioned specifically in this chapter (WC: 5.5k)
( Previous chapter / Next chapter / WMTS' Masterlist )
-
You spot him alone in the library. Months have passed and winter has made its presence known.
Levi is staring at the fire. When his eyes lock with yours, you think they lack their usual cutting edge. Instead, he just looks tired.
“You gonna gawk much longer?” he asks.
“Well…” Your grip on your book tightens; you stay rooted to your spot. “You don’t mind if I intrude?”
“This is a public space, isn’t it?”
It is, but it doesn’t mean you won’t ask.
Levi doesn’t leave when you sit on the sofa opposite him. The two of you stay like this, letting the crackling fire be your guiding light into the night.
.
.
.
It isn’t that Levi always preferred being alone, it’s just that it’s had a way of finding him.
Growing up, Levi remembers seeking affection—craving it, in fact—like a moth seeks a flame. Levi worshiped the ground his mother walked on, loved to listen to her speak, imitated her, anything to hear a “Well done, my Levi”. He imagines it made him a needy brat, that he was probably a burden to his mother.
When she died, he thinks that's when it happened. When he began to close in on himself, when he started to keep his emotions close to his heart.
"My boy, what wonderful craftsmanship!" Mr Jakowski's joyful voice assault's Levi's ears, plugging him out of his wandering thoughts.
Levi looks up at his boss, ignoring the smell of fresh paint.
Mr Jakowski is leaning over Levi’s shoulder, spectacles shining under the dim amber light. A large grin creeps on his rosy face, a contrast to the blue paint smeared on his white shirt. "What are ya making, hm? Is that something—"
"—personal," Levi cuts him off, shifting in his seat to conceal his work.
His boss lets out a loud bark. He pulls back from Levi. “Hah, mysterious as always, our Levi!”
Levi has been working at Mare Lumber Co. for a little more than a year now. His boss, Adam Jakowski, originally an Eldian from Liberio, is the sole carpenter in town. Levi likes working here. Most days, Levi tends to the till, manages the inventory, and assists Mr Jakowski with customer orders. It's routine work, really, but it feels good to be working with his hands, with his mind.
“And how are you doing?” Mr Jakowski asks, propping his back against the edge of the counter, a habit of his whenever he chats idly with Levi.
“I'm fine.”
"Are ya sure? You seem a little distracted, dear boy."
Mr Jakowski got in the habit of calling Levi ‘dear boy’ shortly after he took the job. At first, Levi told him off—sure, Mr Jakowski was older than Levi, but Levi was nearing his forties at this point. Levi was not a boy—never had been, perhaps.
And yet, he soon noticed something strange: every time he corrected the man, Mr Jakowski would correct himself, a distant glaze in his stare… only to make the same mistake the next day.
One day, his wife took Levi aside.
“You musn’t be cross with him, Levi,” Mrs Jakowski had said with a gentle voice. “My Adam and I… we lost our son ten years ago. Marleyans butchered him. And ‘dear boy’… that was Adam’s nickname for our son. Sometimes, I think… I think in his heart, my husband never quite got over it.”
After that, Levi never corrected Mr Jakowski again.
“Levi, are you listening to me?" Mr Jakowski laughs. "You’ve got that glaze in your eyes of a dreamer, the way my daughter be sometimes. Never seen it on ya before.”
Levi scowls. “I think you need to clean your glasses, old man.”
“Is it that missy staying at your house that’s got you looking so—”
“No.”
“Sure about that?”
At that, Levi stays silent. Of course, he’s sure. He'll be damned if he lets trifling innuendos get under his skin.
And yet, Mr Jakowski's eyes glint knowingly all the same, as if catching wind of something Levi isn't aware of. It almost makes Levi want to speak up (though, to say what?), but before he has the opportunity to say a thing, the man leaves him be. Levi listens to his receding footsteps and the tinkering noises soon coming from the workshop area of the store.
Levi reverts his attention onto the wooden figurine in his hands, casting it an altogether unimpressed look.
What he’s making… it’s stupid, isn’t it?
For the last week and a half, Levi has been using his lunch breaks to work on it. Right now, this wooden creation is simply a great blob of nothing. And yet, Levi can’t stop from continuing it. It started with your arrival, this idea, when something spurred deep in him to create and he doesn't know if it will lead to anything.
Perhaps he's wasting his time, perhaps—
The bells on the door chimes. Levi's eyes swerve up.
And he promptly places the figure on his lap, concealed right under the counter.
Because you've just entered the shop, greeting him with a pleasant smile. “Afternoon, Levi!” The door closes, light pooling around you, dewy and delicate. "Are you on your lunch break?"
Levi lifts a brow but gives you a slow nod.
"Oh, good, I was scared I got your lunch time mixed up..." You lift a basket that was hidden behind your back, showing it off like it was some prized thing. “Ta-da!”
Levi just stares, not understanding what he's supposed to be seeing.
“I brought lunch.”
Oh, that's a first. You've never come all the way into town to visit his place of work, let alone have lunch with him. Is this because he accidentally let it slip that he sometimes skips lunch on his work days? You seemed particularly affronted last night; you'd washed the dishes grumbling something beneath your breath...
“Miss Adler, is that you?” As if on cue, Mr Jakowski appears to Levi's left side, safety glasses still lodged on his head. He lets out a full-belly laugh, scratching the back of his neck. "I thought I recognized your melodic voice. It's good to see ya! I’ve been telling Levi to bring you around for some time now, but he's kept you all for himself."
"Has he, now?" you muse. "That's not very polite of you, is it, Levi?"
Levi keeps his expression blank.
Mr Jakowski steps around the counter. "Is that lunch I see? You know, Levi rarely eats much in here."
“I know, that’s why I’ve come. I'm on a mission to change that, sir. I've brought lunch and even my secret trump card… cake!”
“You sure know the way to a man's heart, Miss Adler!” You pinch your lips, seemingly flustered, but Mr Jakowski is already shifting his attention to Levi, something almost devious splitting in his boss' expression. Levi's gaze narrows instantly, suspicious of whatever is to come next. “Now, you heard the lady, dear boy. You wouldn't want to reject the hospitality of such a kind woman, would ya?"
Levi considers Mr Jakowski. His offer sounds tempting enough, but Levi's already shirked his duties by working on his project. His lunch time is practically over...
His boss seems to read his mind. "Take an extra hour." Mr Jakowski walks over, squeezing Levi's shoulder—not painfully, but not lacking zest. The man leans closer, the smell of paint weaving into Levi's space once more. "Shop's quiet today, anyway—I'll handle it. And don't forget to hide that little secret of yours. Wouldn't want her to see your gift before it's finished, hm?"
Levi's eyes flicker from Mr Jakowski, then onto you. His shoulders rise... then fall again. He gives in with a sigh. You came all this way, after all, and Levi was never one to waste food.
“Fine,” Levi mutters, eying Mr Jakowski, “I'll be back in an hour, on the dot.”
.
.
.
“What are you reading?” you ask him one night. The two of you are at it again—sitting on different armchairs, reading in front of the fireplace. It's been a routine of yours these last evenings.
“History books.”
You raise a questioning brow—that wasn't what you expected Levi to be interested in.
Levi seems to pick up on your question before you even voice it. “I want to understand why you upsiders do it.”
Upsiders, the term coined by those living in the Underground for those living above.
You tilt your head. “Why we do what?”
“What you live for.”
.
.
.
Levi feels like he’s about to outright melt.
The park at this time of the day seems to gather heat like a damn magnet. Sitting on a picnic blanket under a large willow tree isn’t enough to stop sweat from coating his neck—summer is in full swing, and even the yellowing grass blades around them seem to feel its effects.
Over the last minutes, you’ve been telling him all about your morning: how you worked in the garden, how you cleaned up around the house.
“… then I went back into town to buy lunch," you explain, one hand outstretched as you caress the grass blades with the tip of your fingers. You seem content, relaxed. "I'm very excited to hear your thoughts on the cake, 'Vi. It’s a specialty from the Southern part of Marley, apparently.”
Levi squints, the eyelid on his bad eye trembling from the glare cast by the sun. Laid out between the two of you is something that’s just short of a small feast. Sandwiches, sliced fruits, fresh lemonade, and a takeaway box that contains what Levi can only guess is this infamous cake you're so excited to make him try.
Vegetables, cheese, sugar. Levi still isn’t used to having these ingredients in such abundance. Maybe he never will be.
But he certainly won't let any of it go to waste.
"Hey, didn't I tell you to take it easy?" Levi mutters, picking up a cheese sandwich. "You didn't need to waste your free time doing all of this.”
"Come on, after my big freakout from last week, it's the least I could do."
"I told you, it was nothing—“
“But it wasn’t to me. I wanted to do this,” you cut in, weighing each word like it held its value in gold. Levi notices you reeling your hands into fists... only to be ushered out of existence as you shrug off the uncertainty. “Besides,” a bright smile brackets over your face, "all of this is keeping me busy. If I don’t do this, well… I've found that I just want to sleep all the time. At least, like this, I’m too occupied with thinking too much. Know what I mean?”
Levi thinks he does. It's why he always enjoyed cleaning so much, to some extent; it kept the edge off of things. He isn’t sure what that says about either you or him.
"I'm glad I could see where you work," you continue. "The shop has a certain aura to it, doesn't it?"
"It's the smell of saw dust and paint. You get used to it."
"I meant there's warmth to the interior." You snort, rolling a particular grass strand between your index, tugging at it without ripping it out. "But I like the smell, too, now that you mention it. I've only dabbled in oil paintings here and there, but it reminds me of that. I imagine adding color to something—anything, really—for a living must be rewarding. You get to style furniture according to someone's wishes, make sure it's dear and personal to them. That's pretty amazing, right?"
Levi almost smiles. Count on you to spin what some might consider mundane work and describe it as something magical. You've always had a knack for doing that, even in times of adversity.
"And that boss of yours sure seems eccentric," you muse as you lean back, "bet he makes every day feel extra special.”
“Yeah, you could say that.”
Your eyes drift up to the sparse clouds. “Special’s… good. Special’s fun.”
Levi's lips twitch. Yes, he supposes that's true. Many things can be said about Mr Jakowski, but boring is not one of them.
"You and him are similar in that way," he murmurs beneath his breath.
(You make every single of his day feel special, too.)
A gentle breeze picks up the front section of your hair; it makes the smile on your face more noticeable, somehow more in the spotlight. For a moment, a delicate silence settles in, one filled with the sound of tree branches swaying above, its shadows moving across your face. Levi catches himself staring at you—again. Before he knows it, he's watching as you draw your attention on the food options laid on the picnic blanket. Your eyes stop onto a particular plate.
Without even thinking about it, Levi raises the plate towards you.
You grin, grabbing a slice of spinach pie. "Thanks." As Levi retreats his hand back, placing the plate back on the picnic blanket, he notices you pausing. His eyes meet yours; your eyebrows knit together. "Hey, what's that on your hand?"
Levi feels the heat of your attention as he glances down at his palm. Ah, that. The bandage. Levi forgot all about it. Earlier, while working on his personal woodwork project, Levi accidentally cut himself. The cut is superficial in nature, and the blood that leaked out of it felt excessive. Like his body was being dramatic for no good damn reason.
Unsurprisingly, your reaction blows out of proportion, too. "Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?"
"S'fine." Levi now holds his sandwich with both hands, trying to shield his bandaged hand so you don't reach for it (somehow, he thinks you will). He's not sure how to handle your care right now, so he turns away from you, pretending to be interested in seagulls foraging nearby. "I patched it up."
“Still, you should disinfect it when we’re home…”
(Levi still isn’t used to that term of possession. We. Like it's his home, as much as much it's yours. Something shared.)
"I can make an ointment that'll speed up the healing process, perhaps, so you're not encumbered for very long,” you continue. Levi glances back at you. You're holding your chin thoughtfully. “I’ll need to go buy some tea tree oil for that. Maybe I should also stock up on ethanol and other essentials while I’m at it...”
The sight of you all pouty causes Levi to scoff. “Thought you weren’t a doctor no more?”
He takes the last bite of his cheese sandwich.
“For you, Levi, always.”
Levi chokes. He begins to cough, the half-eaten bread hammering at his chest.
Your hand is on his back just as soon as his coughing fit starts. "You okay?"
Levi nods with a blank expression, swatting your touch away. He stares at you from the corner of his eyes, disbelief lodged behind his gaze. Shit. Why do you have to say stuff like that? It's like you're trying to make his heart explode or some shit.
“Cutting yourself at work and almost choking to death.” You whistle lowly. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re losing your touch, Ackerman.”
“I choked because of you, Adler.”
“Because of me?” You blow air with your lips. “Why, what did I do?”
“You—“ Levi feels himself growing hot—too hot. Blast this damn heat. “Forget it.”
You lean back, looking at him curiously. “Is this the fate that awaits me in a few years when I reach your age? Choking and half-finished sentences?”
Levi’s eyes narrow. “Well, aren't you full of jokes today?”
“Thanks. I’m trying real hard, in case you couldn’t tell.” You bite back a full-teeth grin; Levi hates how adorable you look, even when you're teasing him—especially when you're teasing him. “Maybe that’s what I should pursue next, huh? Comedian… that'd be quite the career change.”
Levi shakes his head. “I’ll have to support you financially for the rest of your days.”
A burst of laughter rolls out of you. It makes Levi feel queasier still.
“Hey," you say once your laughter has dimmed down. Your gaze holds his, bright and true. "What were you working on anyway, that you ended up cutting yourself?”
“Nothing.” Levi doesn’t supply you with more information, the memory of the unfinished figure flashing in his mind. It's trivial, the sort of work he's been doing, especially compared to what Mr Jakowski builds. “Just keeping busy.”
Because Levi’s life is just that now. He has to keep himself busy, to fill it with things so he doesn’t stop moving.
“Hey, Levi?” Levi looks back at you, and you shoot him a lopsided smile. “Do you ever think your past self would believe you’re out here now, carving wood for a living?”
Levi considers your question. He’s not the sort of person to wonder about these questions, but he’s not surprised that you still are.
The answer is simple. No, his past self wouldn’t believe it. His past self wouldn’t believe most of it.
He tells you as much, aching to change the subject. “What about you? Picked up a pencil yet?”
“Hm… not yet. Haven’t been feeling it, to be honest." There's something a little sad hanging on your face for the shortest moment, only to be replaced by wide eyes and parted lips. “But, oh, I promise, that doesn't mean I don't like your gift or anything. The supplies you bought—I'll make sure they don't go to waste! I just—”
"Hey, breathe," Levi interrupts, his eyes charged on you. "It's fine if you don't. There's no pressure.”
Your shoulders deflate. You give him a tired smile. “Thanks.”
In the distance, a school bell rings. Children begin to pour out of the building, like a flock of birds leaving the nest, knowing it is there to come back to.
“Anyway,” you say, reaching for the sealed container. “Enough of that. It's time for my favorite part of any meal: sweets. I’m eager to know your thoughts on this lemon tart.”
(The answer? Levi will discover he has a taste for lemon desserts.)
After that day, it becomes a routine of sorts. You show up some days to have lunch with Levi. On the grass under the willow in Mare, you and Levi watch the sea drift from afar, cake laid out between the two of you.
.
.
.
“Oi, what’s this?”
You look up from your notes on your desk. Levi has barged into your office, holding the silver tin you asked to be delivered to him.
"That's Valerian root,” you answer.
”Valerian root,” he repeats, eying you suspiciously. “Why?”
"Um... think of it as a gift, I guess?"
"Why? We’re not friends."
A grimace flashes on your face—ouch. So, Levi doesn't see you as a friend, even if you're starting to consider him as such, anyway.
"Well., I noticed you seem to have insomniac tendencies, so I...” You clear your throat, swatting a dismissive hand in the air. “If it makes it easier to accept it, think of it as a medical order."
"A medical order." Levi scrunches his nose, pinching his lips together. "And what does Valerian root do, anyway? "
"Valerian root is tea. Or well, not tea. It's an infusion. But you can brew it the same way and it helps... it helps to fall asleep."
.
.
.
When Levi comes home that night after work, the sun is setting low over the sea, a red dot over the horizon. There's a gentle breeze in the air, one that carries with it the smell of salt and sand from the beach just below the valley.
As soon as Levi is home, he slips into his usual patterns. He takes his shoes off, swapping them for the soft slippers Gabi and Falco once gifted him. He grabs his indoor cane by the entrance, just where he left it. Then, like a rite of passage, he makes his way to the common room, expecting to find you.
You're not there. Instead, the quaint room that serves as a kitchen, living room, and dining room is empty, a distinct smell of herbs in the air.
Levi recognizes the scent almost immediately; it's the same fragrance that hung around the Survey Corps infirmary on any given day. Frankly speaking, Levi equates the smell with, well, you. It's been years since he smelled it.
Peppermint, chamomile, tea tree oil... there was always a particular mixture of herbs you favored to treat ailments. Funding within the Survey Corps was sparse, after all, all the more within the medical wing, so to remedy this, you had to get creative: you bought cheap herbs in bulk and created balms with what the Survey Corps could afford. The same herbs Levi now smells in the air.
And Levi suddenly gets a sense of...
Home.
It's corny, really, that all of a sudden, he feels more at home than the home he's inhabited in the year of living alone. But maybe that's the thing about getting older; there's just smells that remind of the past, things that feel impossible not to acknowledge.
In a way, Levi is grateful that those scents are what he associates with your infirmary, with your hands. Later, when his leg was wounded, and he became accustomed to the stomach-flipping stench of strong antiseptic solutions prevalent in Marleyan hospital tents, the memory of you—of his fucked-up sense of home—remained untainted.
"Oh, fuck!"
A crash assaults Levi's ears. He turns, only to find you half-bent down, picking up a pile of books from the ground. You straighten back up, looking flustered at the sight of him.
"L-Levi,” you huff, “y-you scared the living out of me!"
Levi's brows draw low, shooting you an unimpressed look in return. "Then you should pay better attention." You're holding onto a bunch of books that pertain to gardening. 'Flower symbolism' reads one cover. "If these were the streets, you'd be a dead woman by now."
His words cause you to roll your eyes at him, although a playful tug of a smile graces your lips not a second later. "This isn't the streets, 'Vi. There's no one out there to hurt me, least of all within the confines of this house."
Levi knows you make a point, but his nature has always been to be suspicious of everything, and that much hasn't changed here. He wishes you'd be a little more careful, at least for his sake.
"Anyway, welcome back... how was the rest of your day?" You dart past him, placing your pile of books on the kitchen table.
Levi notices you've changed since he last saw you; you're now wearing a long skirt that reaches below your knees. Levi has never seen you wear anything like this. He wonders if you got it at the market in Mare, or if this is something you bought on your travels.
"Levi?"
Levi swerves his attention back to you.
Right, your question.
"Same as always." The rest of his day was, in fact, just as Mr Jakowski had predicted. Quiet. "What's all of this, then? You starting a bookclub or something?"
"Not quite. I spent my afternoon at the public library. Have you been?" Levi shakes his head. "Walls, Levi, it's even bigger than the one we had back hom–I mean, back on Paradis." You pick up a random book, flip through it and show him a page that's all about flower propagation. "I'm gonna make sure your garden's perfect."
Levi’s brows scrunch low. Truth be told, he doesn't see the big deal with flowers. Aren’t there more practical things to grow, like vegetables? Flowers seem to take up place and suffer the risk of easy destruction.
But maybe it's simply not for him to understand.
"Hey Levi, are you listening to me?"
"Yeah.”
"What was I talking about?"
Levi glances at you. There's a spark of defiance flashes in your stare.
He crosses his arms over his chest, face impassive. "Something something... gardening."
You chuckle, placing the book back on the table. "Actually, I was asking you if I could get your opinion on where to plant what tomorrow. You've got the next two days off, right? Can I spare a moment of your time?"
Levi doesn't work Saturdays and Sundays. The weekend, as Marleyans call it, is for rest.
"Yeah, I'll help."
"Great!"
With that decision out of the way, Levi leaves you to it. He stops in his bedroom to grab a clean change of clothes and then heads to the bathroom to start his rigorous pre-dinner routine (Levi's found that he will not, cannot, rest before he completes it).
It all starts with a shower, where Levi rubs at his skin until it is raw and pink, massages his scalp and hair until it's lathered and soapy, the scent of his lemon-scented soap rampant. Once Levi is pleased that every part of him is clean, he rinses himself with hot water, the act oddly meditative as he feels every muscle, every bone in his body come undone, one limb after another.
As soon as he's done and toweled dry, it's shaving time.
Tonight, as Levi lays out his shaving kit by the sink, he can't help but pause at the sight of his reflection.
Levi stares at himself.
Over the last three years, time has caught up to him, in more ways than one. His hair has gotten longer, yes, but it's the strands of silver now framing his face that Levi lingers on. Then, there are wrinkles on the sides of his eyes, on his forehead, on his smile lines that are new. He's even accrued a collection of freckles on the ridge of his nose; somehow, he thinks the warmer weather in Marley is responsible for that.
In some strange ways, with every new year Levi ages, he thinks he looks more and more like Kenny, minus the facial hair. That son-of-a-bitch got his way with him after all, it seems, and despite this, Levi suspects Kenny would still call him a runt if he were here standing next to him right now.
"Still can't grow facial hair, huh, kid?" Kenny would say. "And you're still just as short."
Yeah, that sounds like Kenny alright.
"Hey, 'Vi?” A shy knock makes Levi turn his head towards the door. “I forgot to give you the balm I made for your cut. Do you want it now?"
"Gimme a moment," he mumbles. "... I'll be right there."
Levi finishes his routine. He shaves his face and massages his leg. He changes into indoor clothes.
By the time Levi’s done, he finds you sitting on the sofa, flipping through one of your books while stroking Scout. It seems you've already started the preparations for dinner; there's simmering onion soup that's replaced the previous smell of herbs over the stove.
This time, upon hearing him approach, both you and Scout look up, almost synchronically. It makes Levi's heart a little warm—why does it feel so strange to have an audience waiting for him?
Before Levi can contemplate on this very question, you've swung to your feet. "Here, sit down; I’ll get the balm."
Levi does as he's told, taking a seat on the free spot—on the other side of the sofa, next to Scout. His peripheral catches you first washing your hands over the kitchen sink, then retrieving something from the ice-box.
Scout's purr pulls him back to the sofa. The kitten has made her presence known, demanding attention from Levi, and Levi obliges her. He scratches her under her chin like he always does, using his unwounded hand to do so.
Soon, the cat's purr vibrates against his fingertips.
"She misses you, you know." Levi glances over your shoulders. You're standing on his other side, bending down. "May I?" you ask, looking at his palm laid flat on the arms of the sofa.
Levi nods.
Carefully, you take his hand into your own, flipping it to remove the bandage and analyze the cut. The wound runs across the tender flesh of his palm, ending with his index. It's not a deep cut by any stretch of the imagination, but it is on his five-fingered hand. Just his luck.
“Did you know that Scout sometimes goes into your bedroom, meowing into the void?" you say in passing, eyes focused on his wound. "It's like she's looking for your ghost or something.”
"That cat needs to get used to me being absent."
"She's just attached to you. Can you blame her?"
Levi's throat goes thick. No, he supposes he can't blame Scout, not when he's felt that same emptiness himself before, knows how damaging it can be.
"Anyway, I hope she grows used to me being here, too. For now, she still refuses to enter my room when it's just the two of us, but I think we may bridge that gap soon." Your voice turns into a coarse whisper, leaning closer to Levi like Scout might somehow overhear—and understand you. "I may or may not have bribed her with some leftover tuna."
"You mean you’re spoiling her."
"Hey, all's fair in love and war." You lean back. A knowing smile tugs at your lip, delicate like the first bloom of spring. "Besides, there are worse things for a cat to be."
After that, you focus on tending to Levi's wound—disinfecting it, adding balm, wrapping a clean bandage by the careful press of your hands. It brings Levi back to the old days, when he'd watch you either tend to him or his comrades. There was always this intensity, this non-bullshit attitude, that would always wash over you. It made Levi aware just how seriously you took your job, how dedicated you were to your craft. It was one of the first things that made him respect you.
Now, as Levi watches you at it again, there is something else, too. Something that speaks volumes of just how touch-starved he's become. He tries to ignore the warmth that blooms under your touch, tries not to think about how long it’s been since anyone that wasn’t his doctor touched him like this.
He fails.
It might be why, when at last you seem satisfied with your work and rise to your feet, Levi finds himself doing the same. He stands, moving with no objective in sight, the scent of herbs and home and you beckoning him closer.
As he does, he ends in your personal space, his fingers almost grazing yours.
He freezes.
You seem just as surprised to find him in your space. Levi watches as your lips subtly part, the smallest shift in your expression that narrows into your eyes widening. He listens to your breath catch; it makes the tip of his fingers tingle.
"Um... Levi?"
Levi blinks, panic swelling in his chest, but before he can say a thing, a sudden "mrrrp" vibrates below. What happens next is a blur, but Scout has somehow jumped off the sofa, intertwining herself between you and him, and the sudden feeling of fur on your bare legs must have taken you by surprise.
Because the next moment, you’ve bumped the back of your calves against the edge of the sofa, almost tripping back.
Luckily, if there's one thing that hasn't changed, it's Levi's instincts. He instantly latches onto your elbow, steadying you, your warmth blooming beneath his grasp.
“Walls,” your voice vibrates against the shell of his ear, breathless. "... Thanks."
You straighten, taking a subtle shift back. Levi finally lets go, clears his throat, and moves away. He flexes his hand, trying to rid himself of the tickling sensation he'd just felt.
"It's nothing." He focuses on Scout, who's skittered away and in between the dining chairs, looking at you and Levi with wide eyes. Levi exhales harshly as he stares at her. "Tch, have a care, you damn cat. We're practically titan-sized to you; don’t creep around like that unless you want to end trampled on."
The rest of the evening is uneventful. Like every other evening since you moved in, you and Levi share a meal, seated at the dining table, facing the window with a viewpoint on the sea. You share tidbits of information you've learned about the village and its inhabitants, while Levi provides scarce comments here and there. You discuss Gabi and Falco’s upcoming visit for the solstice, and everything you plan to do with them.
Everything is just as Levi remembers it being. The setting is different, there are people missing… but there is something soothing that he is here now, with you, with scents that don't feel foreign, with foods that feel familiar.
One thing does loom over Levi's mind, though.
Levi swears you drew closer when he stood.
.
.
.
One night, you fall asleep in front of the fireplace.
Come morning, Levi's gone, but there's a blanket draped over your body.
.
.
.
That night, Levi can't sleep. That in itself isn't shocking; Levi's always been a chronic insomniac. Still, when the telltale signs of a sleepless night make themselves known and Levi realizes he's in for one of those nights, he doesn't waste time. He gets up and goes to make himself a fresh cup of valerian root tea.
Half-way there, however, something stops him in his tracks.
It's your the door to your bedroom, half-ajar, warm light pooling out.
And Levi sees you.
You're on the floor, crouched over something. Next to you, it seems that your bribing paid off; Scout is by your side, staring at you with keen interest, tilting her head as she looks at your every movement.
That's when Levi notices what you're doing, what you're twirling around one by one, as if to show the cat.
Your drawing materials, his gift to you. You've taken them out of the desk he built, laying them all on the floor to inspect them.
Pencils, an eraser, a notebook.
Huh.
-
Thanks for reading! This is a slow build into feelings and healing, but I hope the journey will be worth the read. If you have a minute, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments/tags. Take care <3
#levi x reader#aot levi#levi x oc#postwar aot#levi x you#levi x y/n#levi ackerman x reader#captain levi#postwar levi#attack on titan fanfiction#aot#levi ackerman x you#levi ackerman x female reader#levi x fem!reader#levi ackerman#levi aot#snk levi#levi attack on titan#levi heichou#we mourned the sea#flo is writing . . .
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sweather Weather | Kim Taehyung x Reader
a/n: Hi! if you enjoy it, please like it, reblog it and comment, this helps me to keep going <3
Genre: Fluff, Normal au, Soulmates.
Warning: None...i think.
Wc: 1412
The store was quiet. It was noon, which meant there were no customers, allowing him to work with serenity and pay attention to the smallest details: the smell of the flowers, the soft ray of sunlight illuminating the room. He was in his element, so much so that he allowed himself to hum a song while preparing an order for one of his clients.
Taehyung had always loved flowers. He knew some considered it unmanly, but he didn’t care anymore, not when this job allowed him to be surrounded by beautiful things.
–Must be something~ –he sang as he placed the arrangement on the table.
Since he was a child, he had felt a special fascination with beautiful things. It wasn’t an obsession, but his appreciation was so evident that it was impossible to ignore. His mother often told him that in a past life, he had been an artist. Although said lightly, that statement always stirred up a strange feeling in him, a kind of nostalgia he couldn't quite understand.
He never wanted to investigate why he felt this way. He believed in cheesy things like fate, and hoped that someday, fate would clarify the doubt that tormented him. Yoongi, one of his older friends, had always thought his beliefs were stupid and childish. It wasn’t that the man was bad, he just... had very strong opinions. If you didn’t get along with him, you’d never earn his favor.
On more than one occasion, he had tried to convince him that things like love at first sight weren’t as pathetic as he thought. Of course, he had wasted an entire day of his life on the attempt. Fine, maybe he was a little stubborn on the subject, but who could blame him? His love for beautiful and cheesy things had grown so much that, by now, it was impossible to ignore—even for himself.
It was almost sad that, despite being someone well-versed in all the things women supposedly liked, he had never found the love of his life. Sure, he’d had a girlfriend or two, but nothing special, nothing that made him feel those butterflies in his stomach that everyone talked about. He longed to smile like an idiot just thinking about that special person.
Every day, he had to watch people get the things he longed for, with the bouquets he put so much effort into. Was he cursed? Was he so unpleasant to the female population? He sighed, defeated. It wasn’t worth thinking about, he tried to convince himself. However, this whole issue tormented him more than anyone would care to admit. Dying alone didn’t sound appealing at all.
The sound of the bell at the front door interrupted his train of thought. He lifted his head, almost gasping when he saw who entered the store. Damn, had he died or was he seeing an angel? The strangest part was that her face looked oddly familiar. Was she a model? It didn’t matter, his heart was racing, his hands were sweating, and his throat had dried up. How would he speak to her in this state?
The girl timidly approached the counter. At moments like these, he regretted not having hired someone to help him. She was so beautiful that it made him want to flee to the farthest corner of the room. He mentally prepared himself to be disappointed, to hear that she just wanted to order a bouquet for her cute, rich European boyfriend with golden retriever vibes. He almost scoffed at the thought.
–G-Good morning –she murmured, quickly correcting herself when she saw the clock on the wall–. Sorry, good afternoon.
Taehyung bit his lower lip, trying to hold back a smile. She was so adorable, embarrassed. It made him want to scream with joy. He took a deep breath and put on his commercial smile.
–How can I help you, miss?
The young woman nervously fiddled with the hem of her sweater.
–W-Well, I need a flower arrangement.
Here it comes –he thought–: "for my boyfriend." He was already ready to dismiss his fleeting crush.
–My friend’s boyfriend is having a dance recital, and she asked me to buy some flowers here.
He gave a soft clap, unable to contain himself. To his relief, it passed off as excitement to start working.
–What flowers do you need? Do you have something in mind?
She clumsily took out her phone, almost dropping it in the process.
–She needs lilies and pink peonies, with a card for a message… please –she said, looking at him with puppy-dog eyes.
Done. Now he was a puddle melted by this girl’s cuteness. How could someone be so beautiful and yet so adorable? It was unfair.
–Right away, miss.
As best as he could, he gathered the necessary flowers for the bouquet. He bit his lip; this bouquet had to be perfect. He didn’t want to look like a fool in front of her. He wanted to curse when he saw his hands trembling. This would make the task more difficult. He took a deep breath; he could do this, he had been doing this for years. He adjusted his glasses and continued. Once he managed to make something decent enough to justify the years he’d spent working, he took a card—small, discreet, just enough to be pretty. He grabbed a pencil and then looked at the girl.
–Alright, what should I write? –he asked.
She blushed furiously as she checked the order for her friend, avoiding his gaze in the process.
–G-Glad to have you by my side... –she swallowed nervously and whispered something more.
–Could you repeat that, miss? I didn’t catch it.
–I said… or have you on top of me, whichever you prefer.
She covered her face, letting her hair fall like a waterfall, as extra protection for her gaze, visibly embarrassed by her friend’s message. This time, he couldn’t contain his laughter.
–Wow, your friend is original –he smiled as he finished writing the card.
The girl stammered an apology, clearly embarrassed. He gently shook his head, amused by the situation, but when their hands brushed while he handed her the bouquet, a sensation hit him like lightning. Suddenly, images that didn’t seem his own but were terribly familiar formed in his mind: the sound of rain hitting the windows, a warm hug, a kiss that seemed to contain all the love in the world.
In that memory, he was hugging her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder, where the soft sweater of the girl cushioned the contact. Her scent made him feel at home, and her presence filled him with a calm that made him drowsy. The gentle tapping of the rain accompanied the moment, while she, in silence, tenderly stroked his hands, enjoying both his company and the warmth he provided.
–I’m freezing, Tae. You shouldn’t hug me, you’ll get cold –she murmured, concerned.
–It doesn’t matter, I like being able to share my warmth with you –he responded with a calm smile. He loved knowing that, despite how old and worn-out his sweater was, it could still keep them both warm: him and the person he loved.
He took her chin and kissed her as if it were the last kiss they were going to share. And even if it were, Taehyung was sure of one thing: even if a thousand lives passed, he would make sure to find her in each and every one of them. His soul and his body belonged to her completely.
He regained his senses when he heard the girl shriek in surprise at the accidental contact.
–What was that? –she asked, stunned, while taking a step back.
He looked at her with a mix of amazement and happiness.
–We’ve found each other again, darling –he said with a soft laugh.
Suddenly, everything made sense. His purpose in life, all those inexplicable passions and desires. Everything clicked when he saw her again. He felt complete, as if the missing piece of his life had finally found its place. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, as if everything he had been searching for in his life had finally made sense. His heart was beating fast, but also with an unexpected calm, as if he were finally in the right place, with the right person. He would never be alone again, nor would he have to long for the ghost of a memory. She was there, in front of him, looking as unreal as the first time. And although he still didn’t know what would happen next, he was sure of one thing: he wasn’t going to let her go this time.
Masterlist
(Banners of @cafekitsune)
#kim taehyung#bts fluff#bts fanfic#bts x reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#fanfic#fiction#bts imagine#bts x fem! reader#kim taehyung x reader#kim taehyung x you#kim taehyung x y/n#taehyung x y/n#taehyung x you#taehyung x reader#taehyung fluff#bts soulmate
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking of helen blackthorn and how she is the only blackthorn sibling to have been named after a character in greek mythology rather than a roman emperor/empress, like all her other siblings. do we think it symbolises her not "fitting in" w her siblings? not just in regard to her half-siblings, but also mark. helen's mother was nerissa, a faerie who fell in love w her father. but when her father found out about what happened to his brother, he fled back to the mortal world, leaving behind his to children, helen and mark. nerissa thought her children weren't enough to "compensate" for andrew's absence and sent them away to him. soon after, nerissa chose to die.
so she lived w her many siblings, all (except for one) sharing a different mother to her, but that didn't matter. she loved them as any sibling would, and would sometimes have to take care of them almost as a parental figure when eleanor died and andrew couldn't.
but she was too much of a faerie for the shadowhunters. to the point where she was later exiled for something completely out of her control. if exile is not the most obvious way to show you don't fit in, idk what would be.
the event in which she finally reunited w her family permanently was also the event in which livvy died. using dru's pov as an example, helen used to be close to dru but is now being seen as a replacement for livvy. even when she came home, she couldn't be herself, she had to occupy both her and her sister's place and she had to be glue, attempting to keep everyone together.
conclusion, almost: she's been thrown around for as long as she lived, and hadn't been able to be w the people she loved and will never be able to be w them all.
#helen blackthorn#my darling <3 i love the blackthorns so much#the dark artifices#tda#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
sonic movie 3 thoughts (spoilers below for. literally everything basically + these thoughts are very sporadic)
I cannot express into a fully comprehensive english sentence how much I love this movie. I'm not even kidding, I think it's one of my favourite movies... ever! it tops raggedy ann and andy, it tops nimona, it tops deadpool and wolverine, it tops the mario movie, and dare I say my sam and max spinterest may get drowned out because of this movie... I'm never leaving this fandom tho. I am chained here LMAOOO
I absolutely ADORED all the scenes with shadow and maria! the movies highlighted their relationship perfectly, and I loved how shadow and maria looked up at the stars instead of looking down on earth on the ark because well. yknow. points to the arc-shaped hole in the movie. when she died I kinda felt like that video of that hazbin hotel fan crying over angel dust but um! we don't need to talk about that ^_^
also I fucking HATED gerald. I know we're supposed to but like I wanted to punch through the movie screen and choke him istg HE PISSES ME OFFFFF RAAAAAAAAAAAH
ok. normal now I swear. the chao garden! I loved the chao garden, and when team sonic all wears those chao mascot heads 😭😭😭 THEY LOOKED SO STUPID (SLASH POS) I LOVE THEM
also they said. a lot of things a lot of times. half of the time I was telling my mum "THE FUNNY HEDGEHOG SAID THE THING!" even though she has no idea what the fuck I'm talking about LMAOOOO. especially when sonic said "ok hot topic" I know it was in the trailers but I did not expect a snapcube reference
THE MOON SCENE. I AM NOT KIDDING I HAD MY JAW WIDE OPEN. AND THEY ADDED LIVE AND LEARN??? YOU PESKY FILM MAKERS I THOUGHT THEY WEREN'T GONNA BE IN THE MOVIE BUT YOU GOT MEEE YOU GOT ME GOOOOOOD. that scene was genuinely majestic, when the sun rises over the two of them and then shadow grabs his hand and they go super??? hello??? do you want me to go crazy??? (spoiler alert: I went crazy)
eggman and shadows sacrifices did make me a little upset not gonna lie... stone didn't even get to say goodbye properly :(( please let stone enter his villian arc next movie I think he deserves one... at least we know shadows coming back!
speaking of the next movie, AMY AND METAL!!!! I was straight TWEAKING when amy revealed herself. movie amy looks so fucking awesome GRAAAAAAAAAAAH I WILL GO INSANE!!!!! who do you guys think is gonna voice her? for some reason I can't stop thinking of movie amy as british? london being in this movie has corrupted me.... the british are invading yet another territory: my mind.
overall, this movie was so so good and I absolutely cannot wait for the next one! sonic 4 here we come!!!
no, not you episode 3
#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sonic movie 3#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#knuckles the echidna#miles tails prower#gerald robotnik#eggman#GOD I AM ADDING TOO MANY TAGS (I will keep going)#sonadow#hehehe ok anyways#amy rose#metal sonic#stobotnik#JUST MAKE THEM CANON SEGA GOOD LORD
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
here’s my RDR2 oc, his name is Yrjö Mäkitalo and he is a Finnish man who came to America to make money and send it back to Finland where he can support his wife and sick son. He also is sexy and has PTSD, what more could someone want?
more info under cut:
Name: Yrjö Mäkitalo (few call him by his Finnish name since it’s hard to pronounce / people butcher his name. He is given nicknames by everyone against his will. He hates it but doesn’t mention it because it just makes social interactions in the early days easier.)
gender: cis male, he/him
Nationality: Finnish Immigrant. Has been in American for at least 5 years.
Age: late 30’s, early 40’s
Job: Deputy of Saint Denis police. Used to have a job in Finland also as an officer, thought it was more so behind a desk. He lost his previous job from taking bribes. ((He is still a corrupt officer and he knows that)).
Personality: quiet, impassive, secretive, and intimidating under the right lights. This is not what he is known as to his family in Finland. They know him as a loving husband, a protective father, a hard working officer who did what was right. The downfall of his life which lead to immigrating to America took a lot out of him. He doesn’t talk a lot about his personal life for fear people will discover a more painful way to hurt him than merely killing him.
Misc:
- his wife used to braid his hair. His son gave him the blue and white beads in his hair. He braids his hair himself now.
- when both parents were very young, they had a daughter. She was little when she got caught in a house break in. It was dark and Yrjö shot her while trying to get the intruders. He still lives thinking about that mistake and now he hesitates before taking shots in the dark, or sometimes he just irrationally fears someone unexpected will get hurt when he shoots.
- his son was born a couple years after his daughter died. His grief made him extra protective and paranoid about his son dying. His son was sick when he left for America. Yrjö sometimes wonders how his boy is doing, if he is still staying in bed with lethargy and sickness. He sends letters and money to his family in Finland. He gets letters back sometimes, all in Finnish.
- he has a bullet scar on his left clavicle from when he hesitated to shoot a criminal because he looked like what Yrjö imagined his son would look when older. The bullet could have got him in the heart but it missed and injured his collar bone, putting him out of commission while his arm healed. That medical bill and temporary lack of wage was a major impact on him being able to provide for his family. It made him reflect how he had to be less reckless with his life.
- sleeping is hard for him. He thinks a lot about why he is here, whats the point of being in America if he dislikes it here and he can never make enough money go send back *and* ship back to Finland. He lives in Rhodes, he doesn’t like it much but it beats the city and it’s cheaper.
- his biggest irrational fear is that someone will know cutting his braid and stealing his beads would hurt him more than a stab to his heart.
- he got into some business with loan sharks in the first years he was in America in the west. He couldn’t convince people to give him a high rank job, even with his years of experience, and so he was a low ranking police goon. To make ends meet he went to organized gangs loaners who’d happily put him in debt, knowing he had no friends or family in America to help him escape. The loan sharks threaten to find a way to get to his family if he doesn’t repay them.
- he knows Finnish, some Swedish, and is fluent enough in English to work and live. His accent is present because he never tried very hard to integrate into American culture. If possible, he’d rather speak Finnish (or Swedish).
#Finnish#finland#rdr2#rdr oc#rdr2 oc#rdo#rdo oc#meek’s art#Meek’s oc#Yrjö#Art dump#suggestive#i realize a lot of these doodles mention sex…#Sex isnt a major part of his story i swear to god… i just make a lot of jokes ABOUT sex related to him#Because he is so pathetic and depressing when he bangs#Anyways besides the point
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
TERRIBLE, BUT GREAT - CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
SUMMARY:
“Harry Potter.” The cold burrowed into his flesh, the scent of cloying death and molding earth clogged his senses.
“The Boy Who Lived.”
A strange sense of loss and disappointment rose within him. That brilliant, yet cruel boy could’ve been so much more if he’d not stepped down this bloodied path.
Terrible, but great. He pitied this creature.
“Come to die.”
Harry Potter faced the flash of green light with the bravery of a Gryffindor and the broken heart of a Hufflepuff.
—
When Death gives Harry a third option, one that can save everyone he ever cared about, he takes it unflinchingly. Even when that means doing the impossible: falling in love with the enemy, Tom Riddle.
—
FORTY-TWO EXCERPT:
Harry giggled. “Hello there, Hubert,” he said, stroking Hubert’s muzzle. The beast purred, low and deep. “Been enjoying yourself in the Forbidden Forest?”
Hubert shook himself again and let out a low humming warble. He swayed back and forth, his bones clacking together. Those glowing red eyes settled onto Tom and he sent a snuff of hot air. The beast nuzzled him gently. Tom relented and gave him a few pats on the snout.
“So long as you don’t try to sit on me again, we’ll get along just fine, you great beast.”
Hubert chuffed.
��I wonder why the magic hasn’t left him,” said Harry, still petting the dragon’s muzzle. “Shouldn’t something like this go away eventually? It’s been two months now.”
Tom frowned. His usual dislike for the beast twisted into intrigue and he took a good look at the creature. He’d been too busy being annoyed to really focus on just how remarkable it was that he was even alive. Technically. He really oughtn’t be alive considering he had no organs, no blood, no nerves, and no flesh.
“Usually, transfiguration spells and enchantments do wear off,” said Tom, studying Hubert for a long minute. “Only powerful wizards and witches can create something that is sustained throughout their lives. However, it always disappears upon their death.”
Harry slowly nodded, eyes clouding over.
“Since we’re both alive and he was animated by our combined magic, it’s likely he’ll always be sustained by magic until we both…”
Tom trailed off, his lips pursing together. Something inside of him rebelled at the thought of either of them dying. It felt taboo to speak its inevitability out loud, as if he were invoking something better left untouched. Birth and death came to all living persons equally, no matter one’s station in life.
But the idea of Harry dying gripped him by the lungs, stole his breath, with its terrifying possibility.
“My mom once transformed a petal from a lily into a fish,” said Harry softly. “But when she died… the fish disappeared.”
The unreasonable fear pricked at Tom’s heart.
Hubert let out a low, mourning tone. He butted his snout against Harry’s side. His smile softened; Harry patted the dragon a few more times.
What beautiful magic would disappear from this world if Harry suddenly wasn’t at Tom’s side?
How deeply would he feel the void?
Ridiculous. He had plans to avoid such a future. Tom’s hand flew to his collarbone; he pressed down, feeling the weight of the locket against his skin. Perhaps… Harry would agree to join him in that future, despite the dark magic the ritual would entail. It was a price worth paying if it meant they could always be at each other’s sides, right? Tom let out a low sigh and the fears faded from his racing heart. Maybe one day he’d broach the topic of horcruxes with Harry.
Hubert grew restless and distracted, his attention turning back to the forest. His large head tilted to the side, as if listening for something. He let out a deeper chuff and shifted his stance.
“You want to go back already?”
Hubert dipped his head, shifting back and forth on his hind legs again. Harry threw his arms around his muzzle, giving him another pat, before backing away a couple of paces.
“Bye, Hubert!” said Harry, waving at him. “See ya later!”
Tom forgot, much too late, that standing so close to a dragon lifting off would be an issue. The beast spread his wings and crouched. It bolted into the air with an enormous gust of wind, once more knocking the pair of them off their feet.
With a cry of surprise from Harry and an annoyed grunt from Tom, they fell to the ground tangled together. Tom landed hard onto his back with Harry landing on top of his chest, his hands slamming down at the sides of Tom’s shoulders. The weight of Harry bore down; a leg nestled between Tom’s thighs. Cold, wet snow frosted his back, yet the heat of him on top of Tom burned it all away. Harry’s chest heaved with each shaky breath and pressed against Tom with each exhale.
Those green eyes pinned Tom down. For a half a beat, they stared at each other, frozen in place.
Until Tom’s body reacted.
To his horror.
Oh, the betrayal. He knew what it meant. Understood. Oh, god. It wasn’t like he hadn't woken up to this before; it happened on the rare occasion, just like any other boy his age. But it never reacted to another person. Shit. The blood drained so fast from his face, Tom almost grew faint where he lay in the snow, almost swooned there on the ground as he lost all breath. No. Goddammit! How dare his trousers tent with this betrayal.
And the worst part of all?
Harry’s eyes widened.
He knows…
HE KNOWS!
#harry potter#tom riddle#tomarry#hp#fanfiction#fanfic#harrymort#hp fanfic#soulseeker#harry potter/tom riddle#mywriting#isa's writing#terrible but great
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
person who just watch the last episode of S1 of once upon a time and is soooooooooooo fucking normal over everything about the rumplestiltskin/belle reunion
#SCREAMING AT MY LAPTOP THE ENTIRE LAST 18 MINUTES OF THE EPISODE#FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKKKKKKK#IT WAS SO GOOD#HE'S CRACKING OPEN THE TRUE LOVE'S POTION WHEN SHE WALKS IN HIS DOOR#SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!#AND HOW HIS VOICE HITCHES WHEN HE TURNS AROUND TO SEE HER#THE CONFUSION. THE DISBELIEF.#HOW HE THOUGHT HIS LOVE HAD DIED BUT NOW SHE'S BACK.#'she did this to you?' aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa RUNS INTO MY FUCKING WALL#THE FUCKING CRYING WHEN HE HUGS HER. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO SLEEP TONIGHT.#god. they fuck me up so good.#AND HOW SHE SAYS HIS NAME WHEN THE CURSE IS BROKEN. FULL OF LOVE AND KNOWING. UGH UGH UGH.#THE I LOVE YOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#cannot wait to see what mess these two have in store for me. holy fuck#add this to the top 5 media moments of all time#leigh watches ouat#if this ends up in any tags. well. my apologies.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.
#of course homura doesnt care anymore because she cant go back she can only go forward cuz if she gives up she killed madoka for nothing#she could have left her pass away with dignity but now shes a ghost stuck in a web of time and the only thing she can do is keep trying#to save her#i feel like inately homura knows this but she doesnt want to admit to herself thats shes the real one who killed madoka kaname#this is a very charitable reading of homura#homura died too but its a clear moment because homura is our narrator#homura akemi will never come back madoka kaname will never come back#but life goes on anyway for homura#heres my truth#i loved rebellion but im actually a bigger fan of the original anime's ending so im glad it seems like red ribbon homu is coming back#i thought that ending was a lot more hopeful and beautiful and rebellion was kind of a downer but i always accepted they were parallel#and seems im right based on posters#for walpurgis#madoka uses one of my favorite literary devices which is the underuse of a character#i dont know whats it called but i love it when they dont outright develop a character usually to signal an upholding of the status quo#i already explained how madoka is not shown as a character but they do this in princess tutu too with mytho#mytho is a character from a book hes not real in the way that the others are and therefore cant actually change like the others can#hes always the focus of others and never the one thinking of others#i mean yeah he spends like the whole anime thinking about tutu but thats PART of his book its not him as a person#anyway ive been talking too much but i wanna bring up my favorite subtle use of this in takopi's original sin#the boy#idk his name rn lmao#hes straight up not present for the bulk of the manga and hes legit just absent from the ending scene despite being one point of a triangle#at first that weirded me out like??? he doesnt get closure???#but the reason was he didnt need it#the focus and moral is that those girls were 'weird' unable to be normal (because of trauma) and their closure was theyre at least together#but he doesnt need that because hes already normal hes the status quo a benchmark for the reader for the reader to judge the characters off#and the characters to judge eachother off of#anyway anyway sorry this has been so long#i had to get all of that out of me
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
#so. funny story bc I want to be a little melodramatic right now and I've earned it#this became one of my favorite songs back in 2018 ? maybe 2019 ? and it has been since#tom was not even a thought in my mind at that point in my life#when I found it. I had no idea#I loved stevie. she led me to tom. but not YET#but there's THIS. mike was right there this whole time akdhjsjs#and sometimes I wonder if we're kinda. Meant to find these people. our favorite people y'know#I didn't get that it was him back then but I figured it out through tom eventually. and you know what?#I couldn't be more grateful#I literally cannot express how grateful I am that I found him lol#so when I'm in the tags like aaaa I love him. and being totally annoying about it. (don't sugarcoat I know I am) it's REAL.#his music has been there for me and is more reliable than anyone I've ever actually met and I love it#and I'm just now realizing how much more his music has been there for me without me even realizing it at the time#ANYWAY. he's also possibly one of the most talented people ever in the world and no I don't take criticism on that#and it makes me sad sometimes that I don't really have a lot of people anymore to share that with#seems like once I stopped posting about tom all the time my blog kinda. died#so. I've been getting a little bit frustrated about it being the tom show around here#and I'm sorry if that ever came across or made anyone uncomfortable. not my intention at all#I just took it all a little too personally when I shouldn't have#kind of an.. isolating experience tho#aaand I don't remember where else I was going with that but enjoy the song akjshdjs#it's really good 💞 proud of my favorite guy#(as always 🙈)#did I mention most talented ever?#ok shhh I'm done
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - ONE
pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: none (angst) chapter two┆ chapter three ┆ chapter four
The bass from the speakers rattled the glass in your hand as you leaned against the porch railing, eyes scanning the backyard for him—Rafe.
It had been a long month.
Longer than you thought it would be. Usually, when you and Rafe had your little “breaks,” they lasted about a week, maybe two at most. It was always something stupid, a screaming match that ended with slammed doors and his truck peeling out of your driveway. But it never lasted. It couldn’t. You’d known each other too long, been through too much, and deep down, there was this unspoken truth—he’d always come back. Or, you would.
But this time was different.
This time, he wasn’t calling or showing up at your window in the middle of the night, eyes tired and sorry, pulling you into his arms. The space between you had been growing wider since his dad died. And sure, maybe it was your fault for what you said after Ward’s death—But it was the truth.
Still, you hadn’t expected him to shut you out completely. Two months. Two months of silence. And the only thing you’d heard about him since was through Ruthie, Topper’s new girlfriend, of all people. A random comment at Mase’s place—something about how Rafe had been hanging around some pogue girl named Sofia.
You’d rolled your eyes at that. Rafe? With some Pogue? Yeah, right. You’d pretended not to care when she tossed it out like it was nothing
You weren’t stupid.
You’d always known Rafe wasn’t the easiest guy to love. He was complicated, angry, reckless—but so were you. And in some messed-up way, that’s why you two worked. Or at least, why you thought you did. You were just as stubborn, just as damaged. But now, as you sipped your drink and looked around, something felt off. Your gut was tight, and that nagging feeling that’d been growing restless under your skin since the breakup only grew stronger the longer you stood there.
You pushed yourself off the railing, discarding your drink on a table before moving through the crowd, past people you knew but didn’t bother with. Your mind was set on one thing—Rafe. You were done with the break. You had your space. It’s time to get back together. It was never even really a question. It was just the way things worked with you two.
But then there was Ruthie—blocking your path, her wide smile dripping with the kind of smugness that set your teeth on edge. She looked like she was reveling in your misery and that little giggle she let out only made it worse.
"So glad you could make it!" she sang out, her voice too sweet, too bright. Her eyes flickered over you like she was sizing you up, taking stock of every inch of your perfectly put-together outfit.
You forced a smile, “Yeah, well, wouldn’t miss a party like this,” you said, keeping your tone casual.
You weren’t in the mood for whatever game she was playing.
“Oh, I just bet,” she replied, her smile growing wider. She stepped closer, her breath reeking of cheap wine, and you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes. Ruthie always drank too much at these things.
What the hell was her problem? She always acted like she knew something you didn’t, like she held the keys to all the dirty little secrets in Kildare, and she loved dangling them in front of people just to watch them squirm.
“Ruthie, I swear to God—” you began, but she cut you off, her grin widening.
“Oh, honey,” she cooed, her voice dripping with fake sympathy, “don’t get mad at me. I’m just the messenger. You should really be talking to Rafe about this.” She took a step back, still smiling, and glanced over her shoulder. “He’s around, you know. You can go find him yourself. See how cozy he’s gotten with her.”
You bit your tongue, jaw, forcing yourself to stay calm. She was trying to get under your skin, like the snake she’d always been. You couldn’t believe Top was lonely and horny enough to finally fall into her claws.
“Thanks for the tip,” you gave her a tight lipped grimace, brushing past her, didn’t try and wait for her reply.
You only caught glimpses of empty rooms along the way. You hadn’t seen him since the break, and part of you didn’t want to admit how much that messed you up. How much he messed you up. Your steps slowed as you neared the hall that led to the back of the house, the sound of voices filtering through the air. You recognized some, laughed at the drunken ramblings, until one voice cut through the noise. Rafe’s.
And then you heard hers. No fucking way.
You didn’t stop. You couldn’t. You told yourself you just needed to see him, just talk to him, tell him this break had gone on long enough, that you were done with the games. That’s when you heard it again—her laugh. It was light, flirtatious, the kind of laugh that made your stomach turn into a million different directions because you knew exactly what it meant.
She was there, with him.
You moved forward, the hallway barely lit as you reached the half-closed bathroom door. Your breath hitched, hands trembling as you peeked through the small crack, unable to stop yourself from looking.
There they were.
She was smiling, laughing softly at something he’d said, her fingers brushing through her hair as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched his hands move, tying the knot in her bikini with such gentle precision like he’d done it a thousand times. The kind of softness he used to have with you. And then he said it, his voice teasing, amused like this was some kind of inside joke between them.
"God, this is just landing right in my lap, isn’t it?"
You froze.
He laughed quietly, his lips brushing against Sofia’s shoulder as he tied the last knot, and the way he touched her—like she was something to be savored—sent a rush of pure, burning humiliation straight through your chest.
You stumbled back, your heart pounding in your ears as Rafe’s words repeated over and over in your head. Landing right in my lap. What the fuck was this?
Your heart clenched, vision blurring as what you were seeing slammed right into you. You backed away, your hand flying to your mouth to stop the sob from escaping. But it didn’t help. Not even à little. The tears burned, and you turned quickly, practically running back through the house and out the door before anyone could see the humiliating mess you were becoming.
It was real. He moved on. In two fucking months.
That’s all it had taken for him to replace you. To be done with you. He was over you. Just like that.
After everything you’d been through together, after all the times you had to pull him out of his own darkness, after the nights spent in his arms when you thought you couldn’t breathe because your whole family was gone—after years of being his and him being yours—how the fuck could he move on when you’d been rotting away in self loathing for pushing him away?
Your head spun as you stumbled down the steps, out to the street where your car was parked. You couldn’t breathe. Your breaths were coming out too fast, too shallow, and your hands were shaking so hard you had to press them against your knees to hold yourself up.
What the hell was wrong with you? You hadn’t even had anything to drink.
But your stomach was rolling, twisting in knots so tight you could barely stand straight. You leaned against the side of your car, the cool metal grounding you to reality for a second before a wave of nausea hit, forcing you to double over and retch onto the pavement. Tears stung your eyes as you coughed, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.
You felt dizzy, disgusted even, everything you thought you knew, everything you thought was yours, had been ripped out from under you.
Without a single warning. Not a text, not a stupid call, just pure indifference. No respect or regard for you. None of them. Everything you’d just seen replayed in your mind—Rafe, her, the way he touched her like she meant something to him.
“Look who’s still standing!” Topper’s voice. He was laughing as he strolled over, hands shoved in his pockets, that same carefree grin on his face that he always had at parties. “Jesus, what did you have to drink? You look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”
Normally, you might have had something to say back, maybe a fiery insult or a roll of your eyes. But right now, everything felt like too much. You couldn’t say a word. You could barely breathe.
Your cousin stopped beside you, his grin dropping as he finally looked at you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He leaned down, trying to catch your eyes. “You good? You look kinda—"
You cut him off, the question was heavy, like a lump lodged in your throat. “Did you know?”
He blinked, the confusion spreading across his face. “Know what?”
You swallowed, your heart hammering in your chest as you forced the words out, your voice shaking. “About Rafe and Sofia.”
You hated saying her name.
Hated that you’d been forced to know it by heart. Topper’s smile dropped, his expression changing.
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to, you knew him well enough to read his micro expressions. You clenched your fists, it felt like you were the only one in the island who’d been let out of the secret.
Surely, your friends, your only family would’ve told you something right? It’s not like you were on a remote island away from them. You’d spent the last month in New York, not in the fucking jungle. You visited occasionally. You were a call away.
“Did everyone fucking know?”
Topper exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, we didn’t think it was serious. You know how it is with you two—you’ve done this before. Played with other people…”
Played with other people. Like you and Rafe were just some game, a revolving door of heartbreak and hookups. It didn’t make sense. You’d always known how it worked, understood how these things went—sure, you’d had your minor flings, and he’d had his, but it was never real.
You stumbled back, feeling like you might collapse. “Oh my God, I’m going to be sick again.”
He reached out, obviously concerned since he hadn’t seen you in this desperate state in years, “Hey, hey, calm down. Look, it’s not like it means anything. Rafe’s just—he’s going through a lot with his dad dying, and he… he’s just messing around. You know how he gets.”
But the words did nothing to soothe you. They only made it worse—how everyone knew. How they’d all watched Rafe move on, while you were stuck, still reeling from the breakup, thinking he’d come back like he always did. And he was just out there, with her.
With someone else. You pressed a hand to your stomach, your head hurting. The idea of Sofia, of Rafe being with someone else in ways that only you knew—ways that had always been yours—made you feel like you were being torn apart.
Topper was still talking, still trying to rationalize it, but his words were like static now, blending into the noise of the party behind you. “It doesn’t mean anything,” he was saying. “You know how it goes. You always end up back together. He’s just doing whatever to distract himself.”
That word. Distract himself. Like your entire relationship could be boiled down to that—a series of distractions until you decided to come back to each other, to pick up the pieces and pretend everything was okay.
You could still remember the night your life changed—the phone call, the horrible, gut-wrenching moment when you learned that your family’s private plane had gone down. Your parents. Your sister. Gone. Just like that. And Rafe had been the one to pull you through it. He was the one who had held you as you cried so hard you thought you were going to die, who sat with you in silence when you couldn’t bring yourself to speak, who stayed with you every single night because you were terrified to be alone in a haunted mansion that now felt like a mausoleum.
You had been seventeen, and losing them all at once had killed something inside of you. But he was there. He wasn’t perfect—far from it—but he knew what it was like to grieve.
He knew loss. He understood. Because you’d been there for him two years earlier, when his mom lost her battle to cancer. You could still see the look in his eyes that day—fourteen years old and already drowning in so much anger and sadness, like the world had ripped something essential out of him.
The way he cried at her funeral when he thought no one was watching, and you’d found him, sat beside him in the cold, letting him cry without saying a word. You hadn’t started dating yet, hadn’t crossed that line, but something had changed between you two in those moments.
A connection, a bond forged in shared pain, in the kind of trauma that no one else really got. Maybe that was why you were so obsessed with each other. Maybe it was fucked up, but you couldn’t imagine anyone else understanding you the way Rafe did.
How could it all come down to this? To you standing here, feeling like the world was ending while he moved on, laughing and touching someone else like nothing you had ever been through mattered?
Was that it? Did that one moment, that one argument about Ward, erase everything you’d done for him?
All the times you’d been there, the way you had comforted him when he felt like his life was spiraling? You remembered exactly what you’d said a month after the funeral, when your boyfriend blamed everyone but Ward for his own death. "He wasn’t a good person, baby. I know he was your dad, but you can’t pretend like he didn’t fuck you up."
You hadn’t even said it to hurt him, not really. It was just the truth. Ward had been a terrible father, controlling and manipulative, and you’d spent years watching Rafe try to live up to some impossible standard, chasing his father’s approval like it would ever be enough. But that didn’t make it easier for him to hear. You should have known better. You should have known how raw he was after losing his dad, how complicated his feelings were.
But instead, you’d been brutal. Honest, but brutal.
And now, two months later, here you were—staring at the empty street, wondering if you’d pushed him too far. If that one moment of honesty was enough to make him forget everything else. Now you were just the ex, the crazy one who didn’t know when to keep her mouth shut.
“Fuck, why did I say that?” you whispered to yourself, voice shaking. Why couldn’t you have just let it go?
But then another clarity of anger took over you, pushing away the guilt that had been building inside. So you’d been too harsh about Ward. So you’d said what everyone else had been too scared to say. It wasn’t like you’d been wrong. Ward had messed Rafe up.
Everyone knew it. He knew it, deep down.
You gritted your teeth, staring out at the dark street, the low hum of the party still buzzing faintly behind you. You were never going to get that picture out of your head. Like they hadn’t just met, like you hadn’t spent years learning how to calm Rafe when he spiraled, how to hold him together when he couldn’t hold himself.
Your chest tightened again, a bitter taste rising in your throat.
You could still feel the weight of his head on your shoulder that night, years ago, when his mom passed. The silent sobs that shook his body, the way he’d held onto you. That was the real Rafe—the one he hid from everyone else. The one who was lost and broken underneath all the anger. And you’d seen him, really seen him in ways no one else ever could. Not Sofia. Not anyone.
"Look, you're emotional, okay? I get it. Maybe it's that time of the month or something. You know how you always get when your hormones go crazy."
The words got to you, but not in the way he probably thought they would. At first, it pissed you off, like it always did when people tried to downplay your emotions. Everyone always said you felt too much. That you were out of control.
But then…
You stopped moving, blinking rapidly as his words spiraled around in your brain. ‘Time of the month’, he'd said.
Your heart started doing summersaults, your stomach dropping as the idea settled in. You grabbed your phone, hands trembling like leaves as you opened the calendar app. You scrolled, trying to think, trying to remember when you’d last…fuck.
You hadn’t had your period in… so long.
Almost two months. No. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. It had to be some kind of fucked up joke.
You felt light-headed as you reached for your car again, your body shaking so badly you could barely stand against the door. "Shit."
How could you not have noticed?
Topper noticed the change in you instantly, his brow furrowing. "What’s wrong with you?" he asked, his tone softening a little. "You okay?"
You couldn’t even form a sentence. Your brain was too full of what-ifs. Two months late.
You hadn't even thought about it until now—everything had taken so much space in your head that you hadn't noticed the most obvious sign. This wasn’t possible. Your hand flew to your stomach, almost instinctively. You had no idea what to do with the panic creeping up your throat.
“Shit,” You hissed, this time louder, trying to push the growing dread down. But it wouldn't go away.
He was still staring at you, “What? What’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”
But you were already backing away, shaking your head, “I—I need to go,” You mumbled, barely hearing yourself.
Your cousin moved quickly to block your path as you tried to make your way toward the door. That kind of protective streak only made you want to shove past him even more.
"You’re not driving in this state." he warned you, voice firm, his hands up like he was trying to physically stop you.
You just glared at him, “Fucking watch me.”
He didn’t budge. "You get in that car and I'm calling Rafe," he said, sounding dead serious.
You couldn’t believe it. Your head was already spinning, and he was trying to guilt-trip you like this was some kind of helpful thing to do? You threw your hands up in frustration, voice rising, cracking. "He’s too busy fucking Sofia. Knock yourself out."
The words felt like venom in your mouth, the bitterness rolling off your tongue. You didn’t care how harsh they sounded. You didn’t care about anything anymore except getting away from this suffocating stupid place. Before he could say anything else, you made your move. You pushed past him with all your strength, chest hurting with the urge to feel something other than this suffocating mess of emotions and confusion.
Your hands shook as you fumbled for your keys. You managed to unlock the door, sliding into the driver’s seat, the cool leather biting into your skin.
You needed to think. But all you could think about was that one, terrifying realization: you might be pregnant.
Your breath hitched, terror swirling around your chest. The calendar app was still open on your phone, the dates staring back at you like a flashing red warning sign, daring you to confront the truth you’d been ignoring. Two months. Two months without a period. And you hadn’t even noticed. You pressed a hand to your stomach again, heart pounding as if it was trying to escape your chest. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not like this.
You weren’t thinking clearly—shit, you weren’t thinking at all, but you couldn’t stay here. Not with Topper trying to baby you, not with him out there, living his best life like you didn’t even exist.
You turned the key, the engine roaring to life, and just as you gripped the wheel, ready to peel out of the driveway, Topper bolted in front of the car, planting himself right there like some kind of human roadblock. Fucking idiot. His arms were stretched out wide, like he could somehow stop you by sheer willpower.
“You’re not doing this, I swear to God, you’re not!” he yelled, his voice frantic, echoing off the dark street. He looked panicked, pleading even, like he was convinced you’d actually go through with it.
You gritted your teeth, eyes narrowing on him through the windshield. “Top, I swear, you have three seconds before I run you over.”
“Are you serious right now?” he yelled, his voice cracking with disbelief. But he didn’t move. “You think I’m letting you drive like this? You’re out of your fuckin’ mind!”
Your fingers gripping the wheel so hard it hurt. You weren’t bluffing. You were too wound up, too out of control. The only thing keeping you from flooring him was the fact that, deep down, you knew your cousin didn’t deserve it.
You just needed to get out of here.
“Move!” you screamed, “I’m not joking’, Topper. Get the fuck out of my way!”
His face twisted with frustration as he looked over his shoulder, something catching his attention. He started waving, yelling at someone, his voice cutting through the night, “Rafe! Dude, get over here!”
Your brain stopped. It was like everything had been sucked out of you. Your hands froze on the wheel, your entire body locking up as you looked to your right and saw him—Rafe. Right there in the yard.
And she was with him. He had his arm draped around her casually, like she belonged there.
Like he belonged there, just standing in the open, so stupidly comfortable in his new life. His head turned when he heard Topper call out, and your eyes locked for a less than a second. A moment too long. A moment that broke something inside you.
While Topper was distracted, his attention on Rafe, you made your move. You slammed your foot on the gas, tires screeching as the car lurched forward, swerving just enough to dodge Topper’s stunned figure. You heard him yell after you, but his voice faded into the background noise as you sped away.
You didn’t look back. Not at Top, not at Rafe.
The only thing you could hear was the sound of your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, drowning out everything else. You hated this. Hated that you were crying. Hated that you’d let yourself get to this point.
“God, what is wrong with me?” you muttered, your voice quavering as the words tumbled out. “Why the fuck am I crying over him? I shouldn’t be crying over him.” You slammed your palm against the steering wheel, angry, disgusted with yourself.
You’d told yourself you were stronger than this—that after everything you’d been through, you didn’t need him or anyone else. But here you were, falling apart like some pathetic excuse of a mess because of him. Because he had always been there, hadn’t he? After the crash, after you lost everything, he was the one constant, the one person who kept you from completely losing it. You’d relied on him so much. Too much.
“Fuck,” you hissed, tears streaming down your face. Your throat burned as the memories came flooding back, memories of all the nights you’d spent together, of him holding you while you cried yourself to sleep, of the way he’d pulled you out of the gloom when you thought you’d never get back up again. You thought he’d always be that person for you, the one who understood your broken pieces because he had his own. You’d always fit together perfectly.
You pulled into the parking lot of the nearest drugstore, your hands still shaking as you put the car in park. The tears had dried up on the drive over, replaced by a cold determination. You didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to even think about what you were about to do.
The moment you stepped out of your car and into the harsh fluorescent lighting of the drugstore, you felt completely out of place—like a stranger in your own skin. You hadn’t even thought about how ridiculous you must’ve looked until you caught your reflection in one of the store’s glass windows. Your hair, still perfect from earlier, framed your face in soft waves, and your makeup was flawless, despite the crying. The designer dress you were wearing—sleek, red, and worth more than half the shit in this store—with its sticky floors and white lights, it made you feel like an alien. Like you didn’t belong.
You caught the eyes of a couple of people loitering outside the entrance as you walked in, their stares lingering a little too long, murmuring to each other behind smirks. You knew they were talking about you. They always did, kook queen, overdressed, out of touch, bitch, whatever they wanted to call you.
The sliding doors let out a grating beep as you entered, and the air inside was stale and heavy, reeking of floor cleaner and cheap perfume. You adjusted your grip on your purse, strutting past the aisles with your head high even though everything inside you felt like it was falling apart.
You always did this—dressed to kill, head up, like armor. But there was no real glamour in buying pregnancy tests from some random pharmacy in the middle of the night. No way to mask the deep, growing hysteria in your bones.
The girl behind the register clocked you the second you stepped up to the counter, her eyes dragging over your like she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. You could almost hear her thoughts: What the hell is someone like you doing here?
You didn’t even look at her. You just wanted to pay and leave without a scene. But of course, people always found a way to make things worse. She hesitated before scanning the tests, looking like she might say something. For her own good, you prayed she didn’t.
You threw the money on the counter before she could open her mouth, two crisp hundreds on top of the total. The cash hit the counter with a sharp thwap and you gave her the bitchiest look you could muster. “Take it. Keep your fucking mouth shut.”
She swallowed hard, her hand trembling as she slid the bills into the register. You didn’t care that she was young or nervous. You weren’t here to make friends. You weren’t here for anyone’s sympathy. The extra money would make sure she didn’t talk, that was all that mattered.
You walked out, your heels clicking against the linoleum, head high, even though every nerve in your body screamed for you to disappear. You slid into your truck, slamming the door shut, the silence finally hitting you. For all the designer clothes, the makeup, the money—none of it meant shit right now. You felt so small. So scared. Terribly lonely.
You sat there for what felt like forever, staring at the stupid bag in the passenger seat like it had the power to ruin your whole life—which, to be fair, it kind of did. You didn’t know what the fuck you were going to do. Not about any of it.
Your foot tapped nervously against the floor mat, the sound too loud in the quiet car. The bag crinkled as you glanced at it again, your stomach twisting all over again. A bunch of pregnancy tests. How had it come to this?
Rafe. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself not to think about him, not to picture his face when he found out. If he found out. Shit, what the hell was he going to do? He was with Sofia now, right? So was this going to ruin his life too? Did he even deserve to know?
It was probably nothing, you told yourself. Maybe the separation anxiety had gotten to you. Maybe your body was just fucked up from all the stress. Maybe your period was just late because you’d been so all over the place lately. There could be a million reasons. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if it wasn’t nothing.
You didn’t want to cry anymore. Not after all of this. Not over Rafe. Not over your life turning into some fucking soap opera you didn’t even want to be a part of.
The second you were inside your house, the walls closed in around you. Your perfectly decorated place—the one you’d spent so much time making into a refuge, an escape—it didn’t feel like that anymore. Every designer pillow, every carefully chosen piece of art, mocking you.
Your phone buzzed in your bag, you reached for it. Of course, it was Rafe.
“I don’t know what the fuck that was but save the fucking dramatics, okay?”
The nerve. The fucking nerve of him to act like he was the center of your universe, acting like you were some inconvenience. Months of silence and this was the first thing he decided to text you? Knowing how much you despised when people called you a drama queen? Fucking piece of shit.
Your fingers hovered over the screen, a thousand different responses running through your mind. You wanted to tell him to shove something up his ass. But you did the only thing that felt right in that moment.
You blocked him. You stared at your phone, half expecting it to buzz again, half dreading that it wouldn’t. It was done. You cut him off, at least in that tiny, virtual way. You sat there for a minute, gripping the phone, trying to remember how to breathe.
This was supposed to feel empowering, right? You told yourself it would. That cutting him out would help you get back some control. But your mind wouldn’t settle. Those damn pregnancy tests were sitting in the bag next to you.
You were tired.
Exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with how late it was or how emotionally spent you were. You kicked off your heels, letting them clatter against the hardwood floor as you sank into the plush couch. Your house felt cold and unwelcoming tonight. Like a showroom. No comfort to be found. Not here, not in the muted tones of beige and white. Not in the sleek lines of furniture that were supposed to exude elegance and sophistication.
Maybe tomorrow you’d feel differently.
Maybe you’d wake up with a clear head, ready to take the stupid tests. Maybe you’d be strong again like you’d been so many times before.
Tonight, you were just tired. You leaned back against the cushions, closing your eyes for a moment, willing the noise in your head to quiet down. Sleep. That’s what you needed. Just a few hours to clear your mind, and in the morning, you’d deal with everything.
All of this would go away.
TAGLIST: @maybankslover @october-baby25 @haruvalentine4321 @hopelesslydevoted2paige @rafebb
@rafesbbyy @whytheylosttheirminds @astarlights @bruher @nosebeers @carrerascameron @serrendiipty @sunny1616
@yootvi @ditzyzombiesblog @psychocitylights @maibelitaaura @kiiyomei
@stoned-writer @justafangirls-blog-deactivated2 @starkeygirlposts @enjoymyloves @ijustwanttoreadlols
@icaqttt
#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron au#rafe fic#rafe x reader#rafe cameron angst#toxic!rafe#toxic!reader#angst#itneverendshere works✨#rafe cameron series#rafe cameron outer banks#eventual smut#eventual fluff#just angst now#rafe cameron x kook!reader#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron obx#obx 4#obx rafe cameron#rafe x sofia
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Satoru Gojo was more than ready to propose to you. For you to be his pretty little wife. For you to take his last name. To see you walk down the aisle in a white dress. He has spent weeks picking out a ring for you. Weeks finding the perfect place to propose. Weeks just for this moment. He knows you'll say yes.
Today was the day he would propose. He had everything all set up and ready. The ring box is in his pocket. He just needs to come home to you and get you ready for the date. He had long made a promise to himself. He'll make you happy because you are the world to him.
He then felt a vibration in his pocket from his phone, immediately snapping him out of his thoughts. He opened his phone to see that Shoko had called him. He accepted the call and was about to ask Shoko what she needed before she interrupted him.
"Satoru."
Satoru immediately freezes. Shoko had never called him by his first name. It was always Gojo.
"Come to my office," was the only thing Shoko said before ending the call. Her voice was shaking.
Dread filled Satoru's body. A chill was sent down his spine. Something was wrong, so he immediately teleported to Shoko's office. He was greeted with the sight of Shoko, his students, and you. The students' eyes red from crying. Shoko is unable to look him in the eyes. You covered in blood. Your curse energy completely diminished. Your lifeless body is on the table.
Oh. Oh.
"I'm sorry, sensei! It's all my fault!" Yuji apologies as he cries.
"She saved us." Nobara whispered as she continued to wipe her endless tears.
"We let our guard down." Megumi looks down. He was holding in his pain. "It's my fault. I was careless. They were wrong about–"
Satoru doesn't register the rest of Megumi's word. His ears were ringing, and his vision was blurring. A void in replacement of his heart. The ring in his pocket felt a lot heavier. He stares at your body before closing his eyes. He then turned toward his students with a smile.
"Hey, hey! It's alright, guys. It's not your fault. It was an accident! Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault at all. How about you guys take the next few days to relax! I'm sure this was very traumatic for you to lose a teacher in front of your eyes!"
"Gojo–" Megumi started, but he was pushed out the door with his friends before he could utter another word.
"Here, take my card and buy some stuff to help you take your mind off this, yeah? You guys need rest!" Satoru says as he closes the door. He's glad that he has his blindfold on so the students couldn't see the grief and pain in his eyes. He waited until he could no longer sense their curse energy before turning around towards you and Shoko.
"Shoko. Can you leave too? Just for a bit?" He asked. No. He pleaded. His voice was no higher than a whisper. He can't cry yet. Not in front of anyone but you. He's the strongest.
Shoko nodded and walked towards the door. "I'm sorry, Satoru. I tried to save her. I know today was suppose–" Shoko stopped before she finished the sentence. She bit the bottom of her lips before apologizing once more and then left.
Now, Satoru was left alone in the room with your lifeless body. He took off his blindfold and walked up to you. He held your once warm hand in his. He caressed your cheek as the tears that he was holding back finally fall down his face. He was going to propose to you today. You were supposed to be his wife. You were supposed to be with him until the day he died. But now... he would no longer see you. Your smile. Your laugh. You would no longer be smiling at him. In his arms. In his embrace. He wouldn't get to see your beautiful eyes open. Your voice. He wouldn't be able to hear your love for him. He won't be able to hear your "I love you, Satoru." You would no longer call his name. Oh, how he loved his name coming from your lips. It was supposed to be one of his happiest days. If he could only go back to yesterday. Where you were still in his arms, the two of you whispering your love to one another. Kisses being exchanged. Where you were still warm and alive. Where he can still stretch out his hand and reach you.
Fate loves taunting him with his loved ones. It loves to ruin him. To tear him apart. To rip his heart out and shred it to pieces because he's the strongest. So he'll always fail to protect the ones he loves. Fate is laughing at him because he is a joke. Fate is celebrating his grief. He has losted and fate has won again.
He doesn't know how much time has passed. Him next to your lifeless body, praying that you would just wake up. He wants to join you. Join you in the afterlife. To see you. To be with you. But he can't. He knows you'll never forgive him if he did. He still has his students to look after. A world to save. A revenge to sought after. He wiped his tears away because you would hate seeing him cry. He kissed you gently for the last time and whispered his eternal love towards you and a "I'll see you soon."
He then reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring. Your ring. He slipped it onto your ring finger and asked– "Will you marry me?"
A yes forever unspoken.
#gojo angst#jjk angst#jujutsu kaisen angst#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#gojo satoru#satoru gojo drabble#gojo satoru imagine#jjk imagines#gojo satoru headcanons#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#jjk#jjk x y/n#satoru gojo angst#gojo satoru x you#this was my brainrot before bed
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
War prize.
Cregan Stark x Targaryen!reader
Summary: The North hates Cregan's wife and shows it rather harshly. Cregan is there to tell them off.
Warnings: violence, sexism, talks of losing virginity unwillingly, the poor reader just going through it😭
A/n: My writing is kinda eh on this one but I got it done which is all that matters. Huge italicized sections mean like a little flashback in case you needed to know that. Based on an ask!
Masterlist
........................................................
She watched her guard lock the door behind him.
How long had she been stuck in this castle?
She felt used. Taken as a trophy and nothing more. Purely a way to show status.
Purely a way to show who won the war.
Cregan Stark had won the war. And now she was his.
He was kind and caring, quick to compassion and slow to anger. If not for the others, she could've seen this as a happy marriage.
But the others made that impossible.
For the door was not locked to keep her in, but to keep others out.
Cregan saw the very actions his people tried against her, and he was concerned.
It didn't help that all of her dresses were green. A reminder of what had come to pass.
Anytime Cregan's back was turned, something happened to her. Whether it was harsh words, spitting at her feet, or even once a manhandling that almost turned into a mob.
Cregan knew she deserved better. She was kind. He hardly believed her to be a Hightower. At first glance that day in the Keep, he thought perhaps she was Aemond's wife, or another one of Aegon's whores he had always kept around.
But no. Aemond's twin sister.
…
He felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness when two men threw the woman to the ground in front of him.
Her dress was torn in places. Her hair was tangled and dirt ran from her temple to her chin, clearly having been thrown around a lot. She wiped the falling tears from her face with bruised hands.
"What is this?" He asked the men. Others began to crowd around them to see what would become of her.
The men had only seen prostitutes along the path from the North to the Keep, and even those were few. Seeing a highborn lady was a rare sight.
"Found her hiding away," the man on her right commented.
Cregan sighed and reached down, pulling her chin up so he could look at her. He tipped her face from side to side, observing her. "And what did you hope I'd say when you threw a princess down at my feet? Did you expect me to reward you?"
The man paled. "Well, this is a traitor, my lord. Surely-"
"-Her only crime was the womb she was born from."
"She wears their colors still, Lord Stark-"
"Is she? I can hardly tell under the mud you've drug her through." He huffed, "I want you two out of my sight."
They looked at one another and nodded, moving to pick up the girl again. She jerked back in fear.
"Leave her," he grumbled. "Well? Be gone. All of you!"
Slowly, they filed out of the room. "Are you gravely injured?" He asked softly.
"Not particularly, my lord," she whimpered.
He sighed and bent at the knee, joining her on the ground. "Did any of them truly put their hands on you? More than to drag you here?"
She wiped her face again, "Are you hoping to take my innocence, my lord?"
A noise involuntarily left his throat. "What?"
"I… It is yours. Just please don't harm me," she sniffled.
Any motion he made to comfort her, he pulled away as if burned. "I'm not going to do that."
"No, no please don't leave me to them," she begged when he pulled away. "Please don't let them have me. I'll do anything."
"They won't have you," he tried again. "Nothing more is going to happen to you. Now, go get redressed and come back. You're not leaving my side until I get this situated."
…
After a few hours, Cregan unlocked the door and entered their shared chambers. "My love?"
He cursed under his breath when he noticed she had fallen asleep on the bed. He wouldn't have been so loud had he known.
He sat on the bed and brushed her hair from her face. "Wake up, dear wife."
She hummed in discontent.
His lips pulled into a thin line. Things had gone especially wrong lately and it had begun to show in her actions.
"C'mon." He began to pull her up.
She whined and began to lean into him, tucking her face into his neck.
He chuckled, "I have something for you."
Her eyes opened, "Oh, do you?"
…
There was outrage when Cregan took her as a wife. The North fought against the idea of having a Southern traitor as their Lady.
He had promised King Aegon III to be fair and just, and the boy said okay, knowing that he would stay honest to his word.
But the North hated her all the same.
Cregan never considered to fear for her safety, for she was the Warden's wife, and he thought the people would know better than to touch her.
That, and she hadn't told him of the things said right to her face when he wasn't around. She figured he knew.
They walked through the city, her arm in his as he showed her around. She took in every sight she could, entranced by the culture of the North.
But that also welcomed the stares.
Cregan had noticed them immediately, and he flipped her hood up. He didn't care about them, but he knew she would. So by doing so, he was hoping it would bring her a little more comfort.
Anyone in Westeros would recognize that silver hair.
He leaned down just a bit. "Just tell me when you grow tired or cold."
She nodded, "May I go explore?"
He smiled, "So eager to get away from me?"
"No," she corrects.
"I'm only jesting. Go on."
She grinned and began to look around, trying to decide where to go first.
"Don't wander off too far," he remarked as he moved towards a lord to chat.
She nodded and went, walking a little further down the road. She looked back occasionally to make sure she was still in his line of sight. In doing so, she bumped into a woman harshly.
Y/n pulled back and apologized. "Forgive me!"
The woman set her basket down and straightened her skirt. "Foolish girl. Watch where you step next time."
"I do apologize." She dug in her pocket, pulling out a few coins. "Here. For your trouble."
The woman's eyes widened. She pulled the coins from her hand accusingly. "Where did you get these?" She hissed.
"Well… I… just from…" she turned back to where she could see Cregan.
The woman grabbed her arm. "Did you steal these? Tell me where."
She jerked against the woman's movements. "No. No, I didn't."
"My lady, is this girl bothering you?" A tall man interfered, helping the woman.
The woman tilted her head, "She's throwing around coins like she's something of value. Look at 'er."
The man eyed her and reached up, pulling the princess' hood down. Their eyes widened.
She turned to try to catch Cregan's attention, but the man pulled her to him. "A Targaryen, eh? The usurper's bitch sister, aren't you?"
"Please let me go," she whimpered.
"A green traitor in Winterfell? Seems the rumors were right."
She tried to pull her arm away, "Unhand me."
"Shut it, traitor scum."
"CREGAN!" She yelled out of instinct.
Cregan's head snapped immediately, his heart dropping to his stomach. His eyes scanned the crowd, trying to find her amidst the people that had begun to gather. But he couldn't see her. His worry grew and he began to step out into the crowd in hope of finding her.
She fought against the man's grip. She remembered this feeling of helplessness from only weeks before. "Stop! Please… Please, I'll do anything! Just stop!"
Anyone around them was stopped now, onlooking or shouting at what was going on.
Cregan's jaw set as he figured she was in the midst of it, and he rolled his shoulders back.
"CREGAN!" He heard again, and that was all he needed.
He began to shove people to the side in an attempt to move through the mob that had begun to form. His angered shouts were drowned out.
Luckily, the Northern Warden was burly and built like a wall, so he was able to work through the crowd by sheer force alone.
Once towards the middle, he finally saw her.
The man held her tightly by her silver hair. Her hands were trying to lighten his harsh grip on her as she cried. She couldn't stop the others’ hands from pulling at her skirt or the way they spit at her, but she could at least try to stop the pain erupting from her scalp.
"ENOUGH!" Cregan yelled. He finally made it to them, and his hand gripped the man's throat tightly and he leaned down to his ear. "Unhand her."
She sunk to the ground and clutched at her dress.
Cregan kept his hand firm but looked out at the others that still surrounded them. "Leave." he growled through his teeth. "All of you." When no one moved, he threw the man to the ground and turned to them in rage. "LEAVE!"
One by one they left quietly. He looked down at the man. "May the gods have mercy on you, for I have none."
…
"Keep your eyes closed," he chuckled when she almost stumbled. "I've got you."
"How far must we go?"
"Almost there, I assure you."
After a while, he finally sat her down and instructed her to hold on her arms.
A heavy weight was placed in them. Something soft. Something moving.
"Open."
"A dire wolf?" Her eyes widened.
"Mere pup now, but a mighty predator later. I felt I owed you one."
She frowned, "You don't owe me a thing. I… I feel as if I owe you."
He couldn't stop a bright laugh from escaping his throat. "Hardly."
"Cregan," she began, trying to ignore the way the pup cuddled into her for warmth. "You have saved me time and time again. Without you, I would be in some brothel, or maimed by a man without heart, or…" her voice faltered, "Paraded through King's Landing as a true war prize. But I am not. I'm your wife instead. That is a fate I did not deserve."
"But I failed you. I promised to protect you, but I find that I cannot do that as well as I had hoped. This war was hard on my people. While I cannot fault them for their anger, it is wrong to use it on their Lady of Winterfell." His voice grew persistent. "You are mine. You are no Hightower anymore. You and I both know that."
She nodded and began to pet the wolf. "I pray that the North does one day."
"They will," he confirmed. "I shall make them if I must."
"I just don't want to be stuck in this room anymore. These walls are driving me mad," she admitted.
He sighed. "I'm sure they are. But soon you shall have a protector for when I cannot be there." He leaned down at pet the small pup on her lap. "This too will pass eventually."
"Once I give you an heir?"
"Once we have a child," he corrected, "I'm sure they shall be lighter on you."
"And until then?"
He smiled sweetly, "I'll do all I can. Now." He brushed hair from her face. "Please say you like it," he said as he looked down at the pup.
Only then did she let herself truly consider that she now had a dire wolf. "It's beautiful. I just…"
He held a finger up, "Enough of that. I promise you that I and this pup will not let another hand touch you."
She flushed lightly and smiled. "Thank you. I do not say that enough."
He shrugged. "You do, it just usually looks like other things instead."
"What do you mean?"
"Well," he looked down at her dress, "wearing the dress that I had made for you is a thank you in and of itself. Blue suits you well. I could name things for all eternity. You are a perfect wife. And I admire you greatly."
"You've only known me seven moons."
"And that is seven moons enough to know."
"Cregan, I am a trophy of your accomplishments."
"You are hardly that."
She sighed, "But that is what they see me as."
"Do I?"
She considered his question. "I don't believe so."
"Then does it matter? I respect you, and with time, I will make sure they do as well."
She nodded and adjusted the dog in her arms. "Very well. I trust you."
He smiled and stood. "That's all I ask for. Now, name your pup and dress for supper. I'll come collect you myself. Is that alright?"
She nodded again.
"The North will like you," he left off with as he closed the door behind him.
She heard the lock behind him.
In time.
In time.
Either they learn to like her, or they shall meet a Stark dire wolf closely.
The actual dire wolf or Cregan Stark, it didn't matter.
Their jaws would both equally snap at any threat.
.................................................
Taglist: @twinkletwinklenotastar, @kidd3ath,@yujyujj, @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @8812-342, @thorins-queen-of-erebor, @kingdomzeldaquest @nyxbranwenn, @callsignwidow, @a1lexh-blog, @alyssa-dayne, @ethereal-athalia, @ashovertheriver,
#fanfiction#cregan stark x reader#game of thrones x reader#cregan stark x you#house of the dragon fanfiction#house of the dragon#cregan stark x y/n#game of thrones imagine#game of thrones fanfiction#game of thrones x y/n#game of thrones fic#house of the dragon fanfic#cregan stark imagine#cregan stark#cregan x reader#hotd cregan#cregan fanfiction#cregan stark x targaryen!reader#cregan stark x female reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
So Demon twins but Danny was never raised in the League. He was brok sickly so Ra’s chucked him in the Lazarus pit and he never came out.
He emerged on the other side of the world in a pool of ectoplasm and got adopted by the Fentons.
14, he died.
15, he had a clone, Danielle, and she went to travel the world, starting in Venice
He knows he was adopted, Vlad spilled the beans during a fight, and when he was 16, he decided to tell his parents he was Phantom. (for the first time in my prompts) It went well.
When he was 17 and about to graduate high school, he decided to do a DNA test and find out who his bio parents are.
Bruce Wayne and an Unknown
Sends a letter to Bruce and doesn’t really expect a response.
He gets one.
Bruce Wayne knocks on his door 5 days after he sent the letter and offers to let Danny stay in Gotham with him while he takes a gap year. Danny agrees.
He meets Damian (doesn’t really matter is Damian knew of Danny existence or not) and everyone else and has a great time.
Eventually, Danny brings up things that alludes to his vigilante past
“Ya know, back when I was dead-”
“Metaphorical, right?”
“… sure. Anyway!-”
-
“Killed 17 people?! Tsk tsk, my rouges would never! Not even the clown! So, do you want Thai or Indian takeout?”
“… what was that?”
“Thai or Indian?”
“What- no, that not what I- *sigh* Thai, please.”
Eventually, he brings up his Dani.
“Oh yeah, my clone loves to travel!”
“Your what?”
“My clone! She’s more like a sister though.”
“Okay… where is she??”
“Shes traveling. Last I heard she was running with a group called the League of Assassins. Or was it assailants?”
“👁️👄👁️”
“Do you want to meet her..?”
“YES.”
-
So Dani joined the LOA. Not the worst thing she could’ve done.
Talia took one look at this girl she found in Venice that looked exactly like her beloved and thought ‘why not?’ And offered her a place to stay.
Dani took one look at this women she met in Venice that offered her a place to stay and though ‘bet’ and accepted.
So she’s been running with assassins. It’s not that bad and she learned how to fight. Talia mothers her and protects her from Ra’s good mom Talia, she will not raise Danielle like she raised Damian Eventually Dani gets a message from Danny saying that his biological family wants to meet her.
She goes with Talia’s okay and heads to Gotham.
Unlike her template, she knows that the Waynes are the Bats and loves teasing them about it.
“You’re billionaires, right? Wow, I really hope you don’t have a secret lair under this mansion!”
“… right, right. That would be weird.”
Damian doesn’t know what to make of Danielle. On one hand, he’s always wanted a sister, and she’s biologically related to him. On the other hand, she willingly works with the people that took away Damian’s childhood.
Danielle doesn’t have the blind devotion to the LOA that he had, and he thinks that she’s been manipulated by Ra’s and spends his time trying to convince her to stay in Gotham with them.
So now Bruce Wayne and Talia Al Ghul get into a custody battle. (Talia wants also Danny and Bruce wants Dani)
Wind of it reaches the press and now the whole world is invested.
#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover#danielle phantom#dc x dp prompt#dani fenton#dp x dc crossover#batman#bruce wayne#demon twins#damian wayne#ra’s al ghul#talia al ghul#maddie fenton#jack fenton#leauge of assassins#cvw fic summaries
920 notes
·
View notes
Note
Danny reincarnates as Tim's twin. The only problem is that his ghost powers act up in the womb from either the gross ecto in Gotham or an artifact that Janet handled while pregnant. Because of this only Tim is 'born', the Drake's either assume one was miscarried or never knew they were twins.
Tim meanwhile grows up with a brother his parents ignore more than him. It takes Danny an embarrassingly long time to realize what's going on and fix it but by then the twins are around 4 so can't really explain to the rest of Gotham.
When they become Robin, either Nightwing and Batman are almost convinced he's like Harvey with how many times they've found him talking and discussing plans with himself. Or with how bad their collective mental health was at that time think they're going crazy.
Only Alfred knows what's going on because he's Alfred.
Tim Drake is a strange child. Ever since he was little, he would point to empty air and interact with it as if someone was standing there and responding.
At first, his parents thought it was cute that he had an imaginary friend, and Mrs. Drake even shed a few tears when Tim proclaimed that it was the brother he had at birth. The second son of the Drakes had been growing healthy in her stomach until the very end of the first trimester when he simply vanished.
Not died, not stop growing- vanished as if he was never there.
The doctors and the Drakes had no idea what happened. Test after tests were done, but in the end, they could only conclude that the second baby was gone. It was theorized that Tim may have devoured his brother in the womb, though there had been no symptoms that Janet suffered from.
When Tim was born, Janet had nearly died with a false labor that happened only ten minutes after giving birth. The nurses and doctors had been panicking because they could not understand where the contractions originated. False labor was contractions during pregnancy, not after labor, so there was nothing the body could confuse for the urge to push.
They ruled it as a freak false labor since the only other match was Janet entering second labor. Still, as much as the nurses and doctors were ready for a monochorionic monoamniotic twin, nothing came out. Eventually, Janet passed out, and her body finally finished doing whatever it was doing.
It was no surprise that this experience ended up giving Janet postpartum depression. She tried to connect to Tim, but something in her just never clicked, and Jack was beside himself, trying to care for his child while his wife drifted further and further away.
A therapist suggested Janet return to work, which seemed to do wonders for her. She took part in multiple digs and went on many trips, but eventually, Jack felt like she was never home. Worried his wife wouldn't return to him, Jack jumped on a plane while leaving Tim in the capable hands of the housekeeper.
He said it would be a short trip just to get Janet to come back and get treatment.
Jack ended up helping at the dig site, extending his stay to his once again bright and loving wife. Seeing her back to her usual self led to him booking them another trip.
Then another, and another, and antoher. Before long, the Drakes rarely spent time in Gotham, and Tim grew bigger in their absence. Janet loved Tim, but seeing him only brought back guilt that she could not love him like other mothers could so quickly. She was so excited for their baby and had loved him with her whole heart while he was inside of her, but now, seeing those big blue eyes blink up at her, all Janet wanted to do was run.
She drowned in guilt, and sometimes, it felt that she was only breathing because Jack was there for her. He dragged her back to the surface only long enough to take a breath and be dragged under again.
She missed his first steps, his first words, and his first laugh. That's why hearing him call out to Danny was so jarring. She had stopped outside his room, carrying gifts in the form of toys, hoping they would make up for the fact that she had only seen him a handful of times for a solid year.
He was playing with blogs, babbling to "Danny." She had picked out the name of her other son when she found out she was having twins. The only person Tim could have heard that name from was the housekeeper.
Janet fired her after wiping her tears. She would hire a replacement that wouldn't mock her two-year-old son. She let Tim keep his imaginary friend, figuring he would outgrow it.
Tim didn't.
Over the years, Tim became increasingly convinced Danny was with him. He even started turning in classwork under the name Danny, and when a teacher would call him, he would respond with "I don't know. Tim is better at this than me."
Sometimes, when he acted out, Tim would be the one responsible. Tim was the one who got bored quickly in class, needed to be challenged more, and preferred to follow whatever hair-brain idea he had. Photography, skateboarding, and actual crime shows were what made Tim happy.
Then, he became Danny when he showed effort in school but struggled to keep his solid, slightly above-average results. This side of her son preferred astronomy and baking and seemed confused by their wealth. Almost as if he was new money instead of the old wealth the Drakes had. Janet also heard that Danny seemed to stick his nose in whenever a bully targeted a classmate, confronting them with a bravo she could not associate with Tim.
Tim was more like her. They dealt with their opponents through clever planning instead of confirmation, which Jack preferred. He talked to himself a lot, too. The Drakes weren't even in Gotham, but their family's whispers echoed through the gala halls anyway. As young Tim walked by, there were rumors and speculations.
The elites would gossip as Tim continued arguing that the decor was worth the money and that they couldn't steal it, no matter how much food it could buy people in their charities.
He whispers, yelling at the air as Janet watches from across the hall, her stomach turning with love and repulse.
Years after his birth, she could not bring herself to stand before him for too long. Jack followed because he worried she do something to herself if he didn't.
She could not deny it now that Tim was nine. Janet realized, after a while of reading reports involving her son, that he likely suffered from a split personality disorder. Seeing it in person was entirely different.
They'll likely have to have him instituted, and the thought almost has her throwing up. She wonders if she would have caught on faster had she been a better mother and been around.
She steels herself, crossing the room to speak to her son. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees that Jack has noticed and quickly tries to make an excuse to stop her. Fortunately, depending on who you asked, the men looking for an investor don't let their husbands go that easily, so she is clear.
"No, I won't ask him for an autograph!" Tim hisses, looking at the wall to his right as if someone were leaning against it with him. Janet's resolves wabble a little at Tim's pout. There is a short pause before Tim goes red. "I can't do that! Mr.Wayne is really protective of Richard."
Dread pools into her stomach as Tim's features shift, and a grin with a mad twist settles on his lips. "I already have all the pictures I want about him. My favorite is the one I took last night."
This can't wait. Janet loves her son; she does not care what anyone says that she doesn't, but she can't allow him to harm others. Stalking will eventually lead to harm; she knows it. Those are the early signs.
She opens her mouth, only for Tim to turn to her with a coldness she hadn't noticed he always regarded her with.
She had never seen joy on his face, so she had never had a chance to compare how he looked at her and Jack to how he looked at others. How he looked at Danny.
Janet feels everything in her freeze, and a tremble grows in her arms and hands. Trying to hide it, she drowns the glass of wine in her hand in one gulp but instantly regrets it.
The world become slightly hazy that alcoholic cause, and maybe it's been a long time since she last drank. She could have sworn she was seeing double for a moment, and an exact copy of her child was leaning on the wall behind Tim.
But that wouldn't make sense. Tim's eyes weren't green.
"Son." Jack's warm presence is behind her, placing a comforting hand on her back, and she can't bring herself to speak as her husband commands. He likely feels her trembles. "It's time to leave."
The second image of Tim flickers out of sight, and Janet walks out of the Wayne Gala, wondering if her son inherited his madness from her. Neither adult notices the soft thump of the backseat, nor do they pay much attention to Tim carefully buckling the air or how the blanket he keeps back there spreads itself across Tim's lap.
Janet falls into old habits, and instead of being up to what she realized that night, she convinces Jack to go to Guatemala. They are gone first thing the following day.
Tim watches them leave from the top of the grand stairway, his eyes glowing green in heavy judgment and ice that Janet would have felt in the coldest winter. Jack is chatting nonsense to fill the silence and keep Janet grounded, but when she peeks over her shoulder to the Manor, she spots Tim in the window of his room, watching them leave with a frown.
His green eyes are gone, and she feels a chill race down her spine. There is no way he could have run up the stairs, gone down four different hallways, and gotten to the window before they could get to the waiting car.
"Goodbye, Tim. Keep the house safe!" Jack says as he opens the car door for Janet, but he's talking in the doorway. Because that's where the grand stairway is. She hears her son respond but can't tell what he is saying.
She can only gaze upwards to where Tim waves at her while clutching the curtain. His mouth doesn't move. He isn't the one speaking to Jack.
Janet sits in the leather of the car, Jack beside her, holding her hand tenderly, and she rethinks about having Tim instituted. She should hire an exorcist instead.
When they get back, of course. The car pulls away from the driveway, and Janet does her best not to look back even as the door slams shut, as if the sound was meant to tell her never to return. She closes her eyes, holds her breath, and only lets it go when they are far away from Drake Manor and her son.
Maybe one day she can be a good mother.
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#The Twins#Janet's Pov#Tw: postpartum depression#tw: depression#tw: child neglect#Tim and Danny are twins but Danny is mentally older#He hates the drakes and Tim follows suit#Tim wishes his mom liked him like any other child though#Danny sometimes takes Tim's place#He chooses to stay invisible#Tim can see him though as a twin pwoer#Everyone thinks Tim is crazy and creepy
869 notes
·
View notes