#HOW DID U PLUCK HER OUT OF MY HEAD LIKE THAT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

unicyclehippo · 2 years ago

Note

Hmmm...how about a one word prompt of...Skin?

for @possibilistfanfiction i hope it makes u laugh

two

every week, superion talks to beatrice late tuesday night. at the end of every call, she asks to speak to you and you let her.

are you struggling with anything? she’ll ask, or what has your week been like? or, how are you, ava? she doesn’t ask that one often because it makes you hang up on her fast. like. what the fuck are you supposed to do? she says your name nicely, makes it sound like she wants to know about you, not the halo, and yeah. it’s a bit much to deal with.

‘we went to the thrift shop,’ you tell her week two, ‘and spent half the money you sent us on clothes. beatrice got new pyjamas.’ from the kitchen, beatrice sends you a betrayed look. you wave at her. you’re not going to tell superion that you picked out boxers for her—black, comfortable—and that you think you’re going to have a heart attack every night because beatrice has surprisingly buff legs, toned, and the first time she came out of the bathroom in boxers you had to put your hands under your head, pin them down with your heavy fucking skull so you didn’t touch her legs, her knees. how knees could be sweet, you have no fucking clue, but beatrice’s knees are sweet, soft in repose and then sharp and strong when she moves and. yeah. anyway.

‘i’ve never bought clothes before,’ you tell superion, and beatrice looks startled and a little sad and you laugh because it’s funny, actually, not sad. ‘i stole the hottest dress from this rich lady’s house—um, borrowed, i mean. they don’t really have high fashion here but i picked up some cute stuff. right, bea?’ beatrice ducks her head. ‘she says yes and also wants to know if spending this money means i’m your sugar baby now. or the pope’s. ow! okay, she didn’t say that but she did throw a pen at me. i’m your halobearer, that’s so rude!’

‘phase through it next time,’ beatrice suggests, and almost smiles when you flip her off.

‘hello, ava. is there anything you wish to talk about tonight?’

you have been thinking of things to say all week that’ll make superion hang up on you and so, when you pluck the phone out of beatrice’s hand, you’re grinning. she picks up on your energy and excuses herself to the bathroom.

‘so much. where to start? bea has been kicking my ass in training. i think she’s enjoying it. is that allowed? i thought nuns were supposed to not enjoy things.’

‘i’m sure any and all enjoyment pertains to the pleasure all instructors feel when their student shows improvement.’

‘no,’ you muse. beatrice is for sure eavesdropping so you raise your voice a little and say, ‘i think she’s a sadist.’

the bathroom door slides open half an inch, just enough for beatrice to shoot a forbidding look out at you. it’s undermined by the way some of her hair hangs free of her bun and the toothpaste smeared at the corner of her mouth and she’s brushing neatly and you want so badly to squash up next to her and clean your teeth there with her, in your stupidly small bathroom, so you forget all your nun jokes you’ve prepared and say,

‘all good here, supes. catch you next week,’ and hang up on her.

beatrice is in boxers that show off her knees. her sleep shirt is tucked into the waistband of her boxers, which is so endearing you think you might explode. you press your fingers to her hip and nudge her away from the sink so you can get in there and wet your brush. you do the same thing every night. she ought to know by now. she does know by now. you think she wants you to touch her, to lay your hand gently on her hip and make her space into your space. the toothpaste is minty and froths up as you brush enthusiastically. beatrice swishes her mouthwash. puts her hand on your wrist. you obediently shuffle away from the sink so she can spit neatly into it.

‘short conversation with mother superion tonight.’

you shrug. ‘tired, i guess.’ it’s half true. you would have happily made a nuisance of yourself but tonight, you just want to brush your teeth next to beatrice and go to bed.

‘am i pushing you too hard?’

you consider the question. tuck your hair behind your ears so it doesn’t get in the way when you bend, spit into the sink too, like beatrice did. rinse. wash your brush, strick it into the polka dot toothbrush holder on the counter.

‘i want to learn. i’ll do whatever i have to do.’ beatrice eyes you like you’ve said something really interesting, which is worrisome because you don’t know what about that was interesting. ‘bedtime. wanna be little spoon tonight?’

beatrice goes pink at the offer and you can’t resist lifting a hand to her cheek, to touch it. she doesn’t pull away, but her eyes go wide.

‘sorry.’

‘no, sorry,’ you say almost immediately. ‘um. i’ll check the front door is locked.’ you run out of the bathroom, through to the kitchen and the front door. thunk your head hard against the wood and swear under your breath. blindly reach for the door handle. turn it gently. it hits the lock and you release it. you stand there for a few long minutes, hearing the sounds of the bedsheets and beatrice shuffling and the click of the lamp turning off and then the apartment is dark and still and there’s a longing right on the centre of your tongue, dry and empty like a wafer sucking the moisture from your mouth, and you want to pick up the phone and tell superion, i want to live. i don’t want beatrice to teach me how to fight, i don’t want you to know my name, i want this to be real. a home in the mountains and a girl who wants me to touch her.

beatrice pretends to be asleep when you finally join her, crawling into bed and pulling the sheets up to your shoulders. you’re always careful about touching her, when and where you do it, and tonight is no exception.

‘bea?’ you whisper.

‘yes, ava?’

‘can i –‘ you reach over. hover your hand over her forearm.

beatrice shuffles in the bed. the lamps in the street outside are dim and they have covers that keep the light shining down to the street instead of filling the sky. it’s not enough to see beatrice by. you light the halo—the tiniest bit—and her expression goes awed and nervous all at once.

‘you shouldn’t.’

touch her? use the halo?

‘i want to. feels good.’ beatrice breaths out. she won’t say it, and won’t ask you, but when you move your hand to hover over her wrist, sidle close enough to hold her, she doesn’t stop you. ‘g’dnight, bea.’

‘goodnight, ava. sleep well.’

‘good evening, ava. i trust you are well?’

‘we got jobs!’

‘beatrice informed me.’

‘of course she did,’ you roll your eyes. catch sight of the brim of the pink cowboy hat still squashed onto your head you had been given tonight as a prize, the only thing you had wanted. it's a little small, maybe made for a kid, but whatever. ‘did she tell you it’s at a bar? she doesn’t drink but she’s killing it at the books. i don’t have the same hang ups – hans is teaching me everything about being a great bartender and it involves a lot of alcohol. i can – he’s german and i drunk him under the table. i think the halo helped. do you – can the halo heal being drunk, do you think? did i cheat? maybe i should give him this hat back.’

‘i will ask you not to test the limits of the halo in this manner.’

‘i know, i know, control the halo, don’t draw attention, blah blah blah—bea already gave me the speech. i’m being safe. it was just some fun, mother,’ you tease, feeling loose and good and happy. ‘the hat suits me, though. it’s pink.’

superion’s smile bleeds into her voice. you grin, imagining it. a smile on that stern face. that’s the best, that’s one of the things you love the most, making people smile, making people laugh, especially when you have to find the right way to come at it. this feels almost too easy? you’re just…telling her about your day and your job and the hat you won but you know that she’s smiling and you’re a little drunk so you decide not to think about whether she likes you or is showing some softer side of herself for your benefit and just enjoy it.

‘you are entitled to some fun, ava.’

‘tell bea that. and her too. she can have fun too. she doesn’t have to drink, just relax a tiny bit. right?’

‘sister beatrice will attend her duty as she sees fit, you know that. and,’ she adds dryly, ‘i believe she is more likely to listen to you when it comes to relaxation.’

‘what you’re saying is i need to convince her. i need to tempt her.’

superion sighs. ‘drink some water, please, ava. look after yourself. and beatrice.’

‘yeah, always.’

there’s a girl who comes to your bar to flirt with you specifically. you know that because she told you, because she pressed her teeth to the pink of her lip and pressed against the hardwood bar, leaning over it to give you a good—really good—view of her chest and for a second you’d forgotten that there was anyone else in the bar when she looked at you so intently. and she told you.

‘you know i’ve been flirting with you, right?’

‘you? no way, this is a huge surprise,’ you’d teased, because she’s been super unsubtle.

the other night, she’d let the condensation from her beer bottle drip onto her chest and asked so sweetly for a napkin and laughed when you went tongue-tied and clumsy, dropping the cocktail shaker. which was fine because it was empty but it had clanged on the stone floor and hans had looked over with this stupidly knowing grin and only laughed when you flipped him off.

‘sometimes girls don’t know,’ she’d shrugged. ‘and i don’t like to waste my time. you like girls?’

you spin the beer bottle in your hand, because it’s a fun trick and because it makes girls look at your hands. dani is no exception. you haven’t said it out loud before but you want to. should you wait for a special moment? or does the moment become special when you say it?

‘girls are incredible,’ is what you end up saying. it’s not that you’re scared, it’s just that beatrice isn’t here and some part of you kind of expected to say it to her first, the way she’d shared that with you.

dani doesn’t take it as a cop out, thank god. she grins, big and bold, and tosses her hair back over her shoulder. ‘yeah. incredible. let me take you out, ava—dinner, dancing, drinks. what do you say?’

you should say no. for multiple reasons, but chief among them the fact that when dani used her water on her tits trick, you’d thought about beatrice and what her reaction would be if you tried it on her. probably, it’s a dick move to think about another girl when one is being so kind as to show you her tits. but. beatrice is a nun and dani is not. super not. she’s portuguese and taller than you—most people are, to be fair—and you like that the bar is lifted over where the customers sit so she has to look up at you, but you also like looking up at her and the way she crowds you a little, smirks down at you when you sit a little sluttily on the barstool next to her, hand on her knee. she wears, like, a dozen silver rings and her earrings dangle and glitter when she shakes her head, which she does when you make her laugh really hard, and when you think about kissing her it’s, yeah. good. it makes you a little tongue-tied and you stumble over your words and dani looks at you like she knows what you were thinking about which is. yeah. good.

you say yes.

'—compromising our mission here, compromising the halo, compromising herself—'

'whoa! where does the halo come into this? i'm not whipping my top off for her, it's a date.'

beatrice glares at you. she's standing tall and straight—well, rigid—and with the dark clouds gathering outside the window you're a little worried god will mistake her for a lightning rod, but mostly you're worried that you've actually hurt her by agreeing to go on this date. but then she goes and says,

'this is a stupid risk, you can't just - just--'

and you hate being called stupid so instead of trying to calm her down, you rise up to meet her. 'just what? say yes when a girl asks me out?'

'yes!'

'why not?' beatrice glares over your head, unable to meet your eyes. 'give me the phone.'

'what? no!'

'yes, give me the phone.'

'i'm still debriefing mother s—'

'give me the phone or i'll debrief on my date,' you tell her, and you can feel the anger and spite spitting on your tongue and sparking in your eyes. now she does meet your eyes; hers are black with fury, her jaw tense, and you're doubly pissed because you'd said yes to the date because dani is hot and has this quick flirty humour and because she looked at you like she could eat you up and it's a hell of a feeling to be on the receiving end of a look like that, but beatrice... beatrice is pissed and you're nearly positive it isn't because of the mission, and god, whatever your rules are about thinking nuns are hot, she looks hot with her jaw clenched and the muscles of her neck and shoulders tense like she's thinking about keeping you from the door by whatever means necessary. but she is a nun and you're not an asshole, or entirely selfish, so you said yes to dani because if you can't kiss the girl you like, you should be able to kiss a girl you like. right?

beatrice flicks a look over your outfit—high-waisted jeans, a shirt that shrunk in the one laundry load you did so now it shows off a decent strip of belly, and a blue sweater tied around your waist that you'd found over the back of the couch, in case it ends up raining—and she scowls.

'fine. fine.'

she grabs your wrist. your skin sears where she touches you—god, is this allowed? is this allowed? i'm gonna be thinking about this tonight in my alone time, is this allowed, dude?—and you open your hand, you'll take whatever she'll give you. you're so startled by her hand on you that you forget to be angry. if she weren't a nun, if she were a little more open, if she liked you the way you like her...

she drops the phone into your hand. it’s heavy and you nearly drop it, focused on—god forgive you, or better yet, mind your own fucking business dude—her. ask me out. ask me on a date. look at me like you want to push me against the brick wall outside where we work together and kiss me. she must see some of that in your eyes because she drags in a shaky breath and all the anger leaves her. she doesn’t move away. you look at her lips.

‘ava…’

your thumb flickers to mute the phone. ‘tell me not to go.’

beatrice huffs. ‘you want to.’

‘i’ll stay. i won’t go. if you ask.’

her hand goes to your hip. you want to know how much of her hand can fit there, on your skin where your top rides up. but she doesn’t touch you, even though you’re aching for it, even though she can see that you’re aching for it. it’s like there’s an invisible barrier that blocks her from moving those last few centimetres.

‘i’m taking a shift tonight,’ she says. ‘hans is sick.’

‘oh.’

‘i won’t be home. after. i’ll be back tomorrow,’ she says hurriedly, before your heart can totally break. ‘but not tonight.’

‘i’m not bringing her home. you know that, right?’

‘it would be fine if you did,’ beatrice lies, and pushes past you into the kitchen to collect her things.

you let her go. lift the phone to your ear.

‘hey. what’s the company policy on halobearers going out with girls? also, like, your personal policy. not that it fucking matters, i’m gonna do it anyway, but i suppose i’m curious. lesbians…thoughts?’

beatrice slams the front door behind her.

superion doesn't talk straight away—ha. you hear a chair dragging on stone and then a creak as she sits.

'well,' she says, and you forget about beatrice as much as you can because superion doesn't sound angry or disgusted. only considering. and this question isn’t totally about beatrice, it’s about you too, and you don’t care what superion thinks of you, you don’t. but. 'there is nothing written to specifically bar halobearers from dating girls.' nuns, on the other hand, she doesn't say but you hear it loud and clear. 'as for my personal policies... they revolve around, and are cemented in, caring for and protecting my order and my girls.’

‘what kind of protection?’

‘physical and emotional strength is paramount, as you know. if you are being safe, and if it is something that will make you happy, then i have no reason to forbid it.’

you think on that for a minute. then, in a small voice you don’t recognise, you ask her, ‘are you excited for me? can you be excited for me?’ tears sting your eyes and the back of your throat prickles with heat like you’ve drunk hot sauce again, or whiskey, and before superion can say anything, you break in again with, ‘i’m going to be late,’ kind of brusquely. ‘bye.’

after dinner and dancing and drinks, all the things she had promised, dani offers to walk you home.

you lean back against a lamppost and wind your fingers into the lapels of her lilac blazer and tug her forward, kiss her eagerly. the streetlight is almost the same warm gold as the halo, which is snug and silent between your shoulders. dani tastes like coffee, from her espresso martini. she kisses you, bold and unafraid. you’ve thought a couple times tonight about going home with her and you think about it again now, about letting her walk you home, about holding her hand as you let her into the apartment and pushing the same hand down the front of your jeans, into the underwear you bought new for precisely this reason, to where you’re slick between your legs and wanting but–

‘this was fun,’ you tell her, panting just a little.

she groans. kisses your jaw, your neck. fuck. ‘why does it sound like you’re saying goodnight?’

‘i - well - you’re making it fucking hard -’ you say, and laugh, and your stomach twists a little because if you had said that to bea she would press her lips together and shake her head and the way her laugh escapes as a huff makes you feel like you could walk over oceans, shoot up into the fucking sky. you make that joke in front of dani and she laughs, sure, but then half a second later her teeth are on your skin over your pulse and neither of you are thinking about the joke. which is fair. but while you want dani to touch you, she doesn’t make you feel like you can take on the world. she kiss you again. puts her hands on your waist, thumbs sliding up to brush over your belly. hands sliding up until her thumbs are dipping beneath your shirt, fingers wrapping around your hips, and you feel fucking incredible, delicate and wanted and hot. but.

‘dani, fuck -’

‘yeah, i know, saying goodnight.’ she sounds pretty wrecked too, which is a huge boost to your self-esteem because all you’re doing is clinging to her but apparently that’s fine. ‘you’re sure i can’t walk you to your door?’

‘if you walked me back, i’d take you upstairs,’ you tell her, and put a hand to her chest, push her gently away. ‘which - i had a lot of fun, but i can’t.’

dani nods. ‘text me when you get home though.’

‘of course, yeah.’

she takes a step back. out of the halo of the streetlight. you rake your eyes over her—she turned up in matching lilac blazer and slacks with this tiny white crop under the blazer and perfectly white sneakers, a few silver necklaces—and it reminds you a little of seeing doctor salvius for the first time, honestly, in her full pantsuit moment, and maybe you have a thing for women who look like they know what the fuck they want and how to get it.

‘fuck.’

‘baby, i’m trying.’

you flip her off and push away from the lamppost. ‘thanks for tonight. i had a really good time.’

she smiles and watches you leave. you look back when you reach the end of the road and she’s still there, waves.

by the time you get into the apartment, you’re considerably more drunk than you’d felt when you left the bar. you get the door unlocked, kick it closed behind you, and text dani as you struggle out of your jeans, kicking them vaguely in the direction of the wardrobe.

made it home thx for tonight

she doesn’t answer immediately. which is fair, she was drunk too and maybe she went back into the bar or whatever and you don’t really care but beatrice isn’t home and the apartment is quiet and cold and you’re standing pantless in the middle of the room and there’s a sinking feeling in your gut when you realise that you’re sad. it’s not fair. it’s not fair.

the phone is hidden away under a loose floorboard, because of course it is. you hear the wood snap as you peel it up. you’re alive and super strong and drunk and it's fine, the phone shouldn't be hidden away anyway, you shouldn't be hidden away. you pull it out, call the only number programmed into this stupid, bulky phone.

‘beatrice?’

‘no, it’s me.’

‘ah, ava. hello.’

you climb to your knees, push onto your feet. she sounds fine that you’ve called, totally unbothered. ‘i’m not struggling,’ you tell her.

‘i’m glad to hear it.’

‘i’m fine.’

she’s quiet. you think about her towering over you. i know you killed yourself. you are a coward. you think about her standing in front of you, putting herself between you and harm. you are worthy. you are.

‘i’m fine,’ you say again, anger hot on your tongue, hot down your spine. ‘i’ve been fine this whole fucking time but you keep asking so, so if you don’t believe me, let me tell you and maybe you’ll listen this time. i am fine. i’m not struggling. we’re hiding away from the fight and camila is in danger all the time and mary is gone and you - you talk to me but you don’t know me! you don’t know anything about me, and i know you don’t because you still think i’m going to run, or kill myself, but i never did, i never did and i won’t so stop asking me about my fucking life.’

‘ava,’

‘and stop saying my name! scolding me? poor crippled girl out on the streets—i have a job! i have friends! i’m really not fucking interested in what you think of me! fuck. you’re all the same. you nuns…you think b-because i’m not on my knees, crying and praying that i’m not grateful? i died! i’m alive! i’m grateful. you want me to thank you? you w-want me to learn how to be perfect from bea so that i’m worthy of the halo? so you don’t decide you’ve had enough of me? lighten the fucking burden of me? fuck perfection, fuck worthiness, fuck your god, and fuck your halo!’ you yell into the phone. anger stings your lungs; there’s not enough space around it for all the air you need.

‘breathe, ava.’ superion’s voice is muffled by distance and the crackling of the phone line and the dizzy swirl of your head. ‘ava,’ she says more sharply. ‘breathe.’

you breathe in.

‘good. again.’

you breathe in again, til your chest hurts with it. stumble over to the couch and curl into the arm of it, hand on your chest, feeling the trembling of your muscles, the desperation of your body to breathe, to live.

superion can hear when you settle a little. ‘i am sorry. my questions have never been about doubt.’ you scoff. ‘if you had come to the OCS another way, i would have asked you these things. i would have taken the time to know you. it is not doubt, ava.’

‘then what the fuck is it?’

‘it is care.’

‘fuck you.’

‘ava,’

‘no! fuck you. you’re not my mother.’ you want to cry. you want your scars back. you want anything that tells you you’ve been wanted even once, even if it’s that—a sick, dreamy, drowning memory of a twisting road by the ocean, and scars where a parade of people worked to save your life. your skin is blemish free. ‘i had a mother.’ you pick yourself up from the couch. slam through the kitchen cupboards until you find the vodka hans gifted you. you pour a shot into a stripey mug, clear liquid sloshing onto the tabletop. ‘i had a mother and she died and you’re not her. and the nun who cared for me killed me twice, you know. so. fuck.’ you throw back the shot. it stings. ‘you’re not my mother and i hate your stupid god and you don’t get to care about me. i don’t care. i don’t care. it’s not fair. my mum would—i could’ve told her, i could’ve come home to her. hey mum, i went on a date with a girl tonight and it was really nice. but i can’t tell her because she’s dead and you’re a shitty substitute.’

you drink again. and then—because the anger doesn’t feel as good as you hoped it would and doesn’t do anything about the sadness unspooling in your stomach, glossy and tangled like the tape out of a cassette—you twist the cap back onto the vodka and set it back into the cupboard.

superion says, ‘i’m not your mother. that’s true. but i am here to listen to you, and guide you. and i was unduly harsh on you but there is no doubt in my mind or my heart that you are worthy, not only of the halo but of the extraordinary life you will lead. and i am sorry that you cannot kiss someone and go home and call your mother.’

you’re standing, still pantless, in the kitchen and superion is being nice to you when you’ve just yelled at her more than you’ve yelled at anyone, ever. you sniffle. ‘a girl. kiss a girl and call my mother.’

‘yes. a girl.’

‘that’s important.’

‘i understand.’

‘it’s scary,’ you admit. ‘but it’s really awesome. and - and i don’t want to give any time to people and the church who think it’s a sin, i really don’t. because there are people who think - who have been made to think that it is a sin, that they’re bad and they’re not. they’re really wonderful, they’re beautiful and incredible and good. and i know you have faith in something, i don’t want - i don’t want to disrespect that - you love god and that’s cool or whatever. but if god has a plan for me, it’s shitty and it hurt and it’s not fair and i don’t want - i don’t believe in anything that cruel, i’m not going to and you can’t make me.’ you’re really tired all of a sudden. and very drunk. ‘i want my mum. do you have - you can talk to the pope, right? can he talk to god for me? can he make sure my mum is happy? i don’t believe but i think she did. can you - can you tell me if she’s happy? do you think she’d be proud of me?’

superion’s voice is thick with something you are too drunk to decipher. ‘yes, ava. she would.’ you feel turned inside out. like she’s touching raw, exposed nerves when she says, ‘thank you for talking to me.’

‘had to get drunk ‘n’ sad to do it. hooray.’

‘please drink some water and ensure the door is locked.’

‘’kay.’ you shuffle around to lock the door. pour a glass of water. it spills a little down your front but, whatever, it’s just water. ‘okay,’ you say again when you’re done. ‘sorry. for yelling.’

‘you are forgiven. and ava… you are fine. you are good. you do not believe, but i do, that God has made you in His image.’

‘wow. god’s really hot, huh? that’s cool.’

you sleep. beatrice is home when you wake up, sitting at the kitchen table with a book, a bowl of cut-up fruit, and a croissant. you don’t have a headache—thanks, halo—but your mouth is dry like you’ve eaten a mouthful of fucking sand and when you stumble out of bed to dunk your head in the kitchen sink, drinking straight from the table, she watches you, hawk-eyed.

it’s only when you stand, wipe your chin with your wrist, and flop into the chair opposite beatrice, stealing a piece of her fruit, that you realise you are pantless. without pants.

the tips of beatrice’s ears are red. her jaw is tight. ‘please put your pants away when you take them off,’ she says, and turns the page of her book even though you’re pretty sure she wasn’t done reading the last one.

‘uh. yeah. i will.’

her finger taps against the spine of the book. ‘did you - was it fun?’

‘yeah.’

‘good. i’m glad.’ beatrice pushes the croissant over to you. ‘pain au chocolat,’ she says, and you realise that the croissant isn’t hers, it’s yours, she bought it for you because she never buys herself chocolate croissants. you think of her standing in the beautiful, warm bakery after a stupid long shift and buying you a pastry to eat after you went on a date with another woman and she watches your hands for a while as you split the croissant, which flakes between your fingers, smears buttery goodness everywhere. you break off a tiny bit and hold it out to her. ‘it’s for you,’ she says, shakes her head.

‘try it.’

she gives in. she gives in, beautiful when she does it. hungry. takes the little piece and pops it between her lips, which curl upwards, pastry melting, chocolate melting on her tongue. there’s a bit of pastry on her lip and the whole room is full of light.

#tagging my stories #prompt fill #avatrice #warrior nun #i would kill n die for ava i hope u know that #mother superion

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waklman · 1 year ago

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fake it is my bread and butter I’m in love thank u. I feel like reader is going to start pulling away. OMG WHAT IF jake kissed the reader in front of a bunch of people when he was beyond drunk or did something that made the reader embarrassed and uncomfortable so she isn’t talking to him and jake pleads for her forgiveness and it’s angsty and fluffy

note: okay i don't really know what this was but i'm just happy i was able to finally write something honestly, anyways here is more jake and princess until i pull myself together to work on the next chapter </3

warnings: mentions of drinking, insecurities.

If you were merely a book, you’d be a forgotten composition of bounded paper, quietly collecting dust on the unreachable bay of a shelf inside a fading bookstore—barely visited by anyone but the owners themselves.

And Jake would be the first person to ever be drawn in by you, setting off the soft chime of the entrance, walking right up to the shelf you sat on, extending himself to gently pluck you from the rotting oak that previously held you upright, and take you home with him.

When it’s finally just you two surrounded by the shrouding walls of his bedroom, Jake would slowly run his calloused finger down your uncracked leathered spine to ease you open, gaining your trust. Eventually, your pages would unfurl themselves to him—revealing stories that breathed life into your biggest aspirations and smallest insecurities, laid bare for his naked eyes to see.

And Jake would read those inked lines, over and over again until he could recite your contents in his sleep, until his heart filled with fondness when he thought of you, until you became his favorite piece of literature.

That’s how you’d like to think of your relationship with Jake, anyway. You were something that existed solely for his mind to study, for him to understand. No one else.

Jake would never return you back to that shop, Jake would never make you feel a semblance of regret for opening up to him, Jake would never laugh at things that would wear down your stitched pages.

Oh, but he did, right in your face too.

The moment Jake’s drunk laugh spilled out his chest at Jeremy Duncan’s sloppy joke about you being so quiet he forgot you were there—it was like you entrusted a stranger to hold your red solo cup.

The same lips that read over your fear about feeling invisible, were the same ones that curled into a smile when a jab was made at you.

Rather than facing that reality head on, you glued back shut, reverting back to that lonely collection of narratives that you didn’t let anyone read. But this time, you couldn’t go running back to that high shelf that hid you away—all you could do was slowly withdraw from the person who took you off of it.

Jake knew you needed solitude at times, and he respected that, it was how you recharged your energy after any social event.

So, for the last few days he let you do just that. He let you wordlessly walk past him when he tried to reach out for you to join him on the couch. He let you say less and less to him when he just wanted to hear your voice over dinner, afraid he might forget how it sounded. He let you sneak out earlier each day, just so you could avoid walking to class with him.

He let you do all of that, suppressing his slight worry—until he picked up on how you would nervously stand outside his door at random points in the night, only to eventually go back to your own room. And to make matters worse, if Jake hadn’t been staying up late, racking his brain about you rather than sleeping, he wouldn’t have even noticed that you started to do that.

Jake knew you needed solitude at times, but he also knew that something was wrong.

So, that’s when he decided to stop letting you walk away from him, because it was starting to plague him with concern at this point.

But, when Jake weakly trailed past your door frame, and kneeled at your seated figure at the corner of your bed, you flinched when he instinctively extended his hands to hold yours.

Refusing to meet his stare, you miss the subtle traces of disappointment that flit across his features.

“You..don’t want me touching you?” Jake’s quiet voice is colored by hurt, hands cautiously dropping to fiddle with the cuffs of your loose sweatpants instead. You at least let him do that, because it keeps him at a distance, because the fabric he’s gently playing with acts as a safeguard between you and him.

Gaze casted down into your lap, you reverently shake your head. “No, Jake,” you refuse him, your own strained voice mirroring his own.

If you were merely a book, he’d laugh at the way you awkwardly sat, he’d playfully bump shoulders with the same people who looked through you like you weren’t there.

With that, he feels an unsettling guilt well up inside his stomach, rising up to his throat like bile. “Okay, I see. Will you tell me what I did wrong then?” Jake sucks in deep breath, only releasing it when he sees you let out a somewhat steady breath for yourself.

Even when a burn spreads through his lungs for what feels like a full minute, he still doesn’t feel deserving when he goes to cool it, not when you probably don’t think he’s deserving of it either.

“No, Jake,” you reinforce, shoulders beginning to tremble from the pressure of refusing him, from the pressure of closing yourself back up.

If you were merely a book, you wouldn’t let him take you into his careful hands, he’d only read your unshared secrets to the world.

For Jake, it feels almost sinful to hold himself back from soothing his palms over your shaking body. His fingers clutch the ankles of your pants tighter, a desperate bid for solace. “Please, talk to me princess,” he helplessly begs, not knowing what else to do with himself. “You won’t even come into my room.”

“No, Jake,” you repeat, unaware of the tear that glides down your cheek. “You laughed, when Jeremy said I was practically invisible. You laughed at me.” The crack of your spine urges you to stay resilient like you did before, but the crack of your spine can’t help how much it aches for him to gently coax it again.

Jake stills as realization washes down on him, chest unwinding at your explanation.

If you were merely a book, you would want to be perched on that shelving unit. You don’t need Jake to be drawn in by what your pages held, you don’t need him to not feel put off by the plain cover that held you together. You don’t need—

Without a warning, Jake scoops you up from where you’re sitting, forcing you to encircle your legs around his middle as he leads you into the threshold of his room.

“I laughed because I thought it was the stupidest shit I ever heard,” he carefully explains, keeping you in lap as he goes to sit on his sheets. “You’re funny if you think I didn’t tell him off the morning after,” he continues, recounting the string of threats that fell off his tongue when found Jeremy after class.

When you finally look at him, cheeks sticky from streaky tears and waterlogged lashes fluttering at him, Jake feels his heart swell in his chest. Naturally, he goes to playfully tousle your hair, gently, mindful of the migraine that tends to follow after your crying.

If you were merely a book, he would have corners of the most important pages gently folded in, ingraining each word and punctuation mark that made you vulnerable into his memory.

“Jake, what would you do if I was a book?” You ask through a weak smile, heart gently throbbing as you notice the tenderness reflected in his eyes.

Smoothing down the hair he’s ruffled with both hands, Jake gives your question some thought. “Is this one of those, would you love me if I was a worm kinda questions?”

Clutching the hems of his shirt between your hands for solace, you nod at him, waiting for one of those lighthearted responses he always gives you.

But sensing that you’d want a genuine answer instead, Jake gives you just that.

“If you were a book,” he starts, brushing strands of hair behind your ears. “I would never get sick of reading you princess. Think you’d be my favorite,” and he means it.

#ears open #fake it #jake seresin blurb

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cissyenthusiast010155 · 1 year ago

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Hi i’m not sure if u write male reader and its okay if not but i was wondering if you could write one where m!student reader and platonic lesso like he’s making a song in a music room and its something like ‘boys don’t cry or boys will be bugs and lesso hears and he breaks down or smt and fluff but again its totally fine if not x

Hiiiii anon! Thank you for your request!! I wont write AMAB!Male, but I will write AFAB!Male. Hope you Enjoy ♥️

Can’t Pretend It Doesn’t Bother Me ~Soft!Leonora Lesso xAFAB Trans!Male!Reader

Mommy… Masterlist

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: age gap (All legal), angst, fluffy fluff, implied anxiety, implied anxiety attack, crying, comforting, hugging, physical comforting, etc.

Enjoy (:

You had found yourself in the music room. And you had sat down in defeat next to a harp.

Before you knew it, your hands were stringing the instrument and making beautiful sounds. Along with those beautiful notes, came your voice, getting more and more hoarse.

I’m a dumb teen boy

I eat sticks and rocks and mud

I don’t care about the government

The words and notes just flowed together. And so did your tears. More and more, the waterworks flowed down your face.

And I really need a hug

I feel stupid (stupid), ugly (ugly)

Pretend it doesn’t bother me

~~~

Lesso was walking down the corridor, after reprimanding one of her more rebellious students. Her cane halted as she heard a faint melody coming from the music room.

I’m not very strong, but I’ll fuck you up if you’re mean to bugs

She could hear the harp being played and a choked voice singing along with the notes being played.

It’s getting cold down here underneath the weather

I skipped class to sit with you

I really like your sporty sweater

If ladybugs are girls How do you make kids together?

What’s it like in a female world?

I bet it’s just so much—

~~~

You heard the door creak open, and you immediately stopped playing. You frantically wiped the many many tears away from your face. But you couldn’t make the tears stop.

You looked up and saw the one and only dean of evil, Lady Lesso, standing across the music room. You gulped. She stared at you, not saying a word.

“I’m sorry… I’ll go…” you muttered.

“No!” Lesso exclaimed.

You looked up puzzled and a little afraid.

Lesso relaxed her face and spoke softer, “Please, continue.”

You gulped and nodded, moving your hands back to the instrument. You began to pluck the notes once more and accompany the melody with your hoarse voice.

I just turned 14

And I think this year I’m gonna be mean

Don’t mess with me, I’m a big boy now, and I’m very scary

I punch my walls, stay out at night, and I do karate

Don’t message me ‘cause I won’t reply, I wanna make you cry

Ain’t that how it’s s’posed to be?

Though it… it isn’t me…

B-Boys will… be b-bugs… right…?

By the last few lines, you and your voice was falling apart. Your hands dropped from the harp and your head fell in your hands as you sobbed.

~~~

Lesso froze for a minute as you combusted in the music chair in which you were sitting. Her instincts were conflicted…

On one hand, she had the urge to smack you and tell you to get it together.

On the other hand, her heart cracked at your position, and she wanted to come over and comfort you forever.

Lesso knew that you had troubles. Troubles with friends. Trouble at home. Troubles mentally. Knowing this only made the redhead feel for you even more.

She cautiously approached the crying student in front of her, stretching her arm out to rub your back lightly.

You jumped slightly as you felt the deans hand on your back. But you were quick to get used to the touch, and you even leaned in for more. You whimpered slightly as her hand eventually retracted. But then you saw that the woman was getting a chair and pulling it up next your yours.

Lesso sat down next to you and put her hand on your back once more. Her touch seemed to relax you, she noted.

“Take deep breaths.” She instructed.

The red head hummed in satisfaction when her instructions were followed. She placed her other hand on your outer thigh, rubbing circle patterns on it. She noticed that you were getting your breathing under better control.

“Thank you…” you hesitantly whispered.

You half expected the dean to just leave as you uttered those words, but she didn’t.

“Anytime, sweet boy.” The woman comforted.

Her hand then moved from your thigh to your chin, and it swiveled your head to meet her gaze.

“It’s okay to cry, you know that right?”

Your lip quivered and you nodded shakily, before more tears erupted. You instinctually put your head into the deans shoulder.

Lesso hummed as your head found comfort in her shoulder.

“But don’t you ever tell anyone I told you that…” she teasingly warned, causing you to chuckle lightly.

~~~

Lady Lesso Masterlist

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trulyyoursdevil · 1 month ago

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I am enjoying my love life and having more fun with my bestie . My bestie found her new bf and tbh I am not very much liking it , but as it’s her life and her dad is ok so nonissue with me . Also my dad asking me same to do so I am kind of watching them closely for a real experience.they went out for a short vacation . Uncle messaged me to meet me if I am interested as he is alone for a while as his wife is also out for her Buisness year end trip . I told him it will not look good to meet at home alone , so he booked a motel . I am excited too as it’s my first time encounter alone with him isolated in a hotel room. But as I know him and he is a perfect gentleman I am ready for that fun. He picked me from school and we went on a nice motel and had lunch there . He took me for a short shopping there only . I got his favourite nighty which he requested. While entering room it was welcomed with my Lilly flower and I hugged him . He is so perfect. He shut the door and while I was adoring the flower , he hold me form back and whisper in my ear a big thanks for coming here . I smiled and realised we were infront of a big full size mirror and I can see him . He caressed my hair behind my ears and kissed my neck gently while holding my waist . My eyes closed a bit as he playing with his tongue and now his hands are caressing me form my skirt back. I can smell Lilly aroma with his amazing perfume . After a while he started unbuttoning my school shirt and pulled out from tucked skirt I was in my peach bra and I can see myself loving by his hand in the front mirror . It was exciting and I was melting slowly by his actions . He came forward nd while sitting kissed my navel nd around . Uff he is so good . I was so high as I plucked one Lilly petal hard and dropped over his head . He looked up and removed my skirt and now it on my feel . Took my feet up and removed . I can see myself in mirror . He smile back and kissed me on forehead saying that how beautiful I am . I blushed . He went back and opened the new nighty and asked me to wear . I said why don’t u do all as I am enjoying this . He laughed low and took my flowers form me and put it on near table. Removed new labels and standing infront of me looked in my eyes and asked me to allow to remove the bra . I replied I am all your uncle and why don’t you treat me as your own daughter. He smiled back and while kissing on my hand he said indeed u are . He removed my bra coming closer to me as I can feel his hot breath . He looked at my small boobs and touched my both nipple and I gasped . He desed me in that sheer nighty and showed me myself in mirror . It was so beautiful and sexy . He bend me back while I kept my hand over table he removed my panty and slapped my right ass . I was like waiting for this royal treat . He asked as I am ok or want more harder . I whispered harder daddy . He did more harder and put his one finger in my ass and I went crazy with slow pain and desire. He grabbed me by neck nd went deep while spread my legs wider. He pulled me infront and ordered me to open his hard boner and serve him. I sat on near chair and he pulled while I opened his formal trouser and slide down. It was ready for me mouth and I simply loved his aroma . I looked into his eyes nd touched the tip with my tongue. He grabbed my head and pushed inside deep till I gaged . I was enjoying his big tools with pleasure .

It was a great day ! Xoxo

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itsdappleagain · 2 years ago

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two weeks late? what do you mean? ...haha.

sorry i have excuses okay? I moved houses in that time and then got sick. like i said, lateness is becoming my brand i guess

anyways this week (last week) it is time for

The Opera in the Outback Caper!!

notes as always under the cut!

player's australian accent is hilarious

CRIKEY! AUSTRALIA'S ONE BEEEEEEEEEEG CUNTRY

bro the writers were researching australia and they saw carmen the opera and their eyes shot out of their heads like looney toons

according to wikipedia if this episode had gone like the opera carmen would have stabbed a bitch to death and then sung about fucking somebody all night from prison. but yeah carmen would have also ended up stabbed to death in the end so....leaning towards the bad omen scale

that fifteen person orchestra is really pulling its weight damn

can you imagine being gray in this episode he has literally no idea what the fuck is going on wheeze

this is totally way later in the episode but wait a minute if the vile device fried all the soundboards how the hell did the rest of the opera keep going

its gra-YUHM

that surprised pikachu face jdsghdjhga

god fuck i hate that he flirts with her im getting it out of the way right now so i don't harp on it later but i do not like it

SOMEBODY THAT YOU USED TO KNOWW BUT YOU DIDNT THAVE TO C (gets crackle rodded to death)

Gray Ham says enjoy the show and carmen walks like a penguin her ankles go WAY up

i love love love watching the progression of carmen's faith in vile go from her mostly playful, almost dismissive air in the start to realizing just how dangerous this all is and i think it starts RIGHT HERE, realizing that theyve killed crackle's memories of her and VILE

mentally i am the guy dressed as a soldier who is staring straight ahead and singing with one blank smile on his face

something about that swing and how carmen's coattails move is just mwah

carmen stays there for literally no reason how did you not see le chevre coming over to kick you in the back girl

that subliminal messaging device falling was sooo on key 🫦

so nitpicky but that opera singer is NOT opening her mouth enough literally watch any video of an opera singer their mouths are going twice that wide

the way she just plucks it from his hand is so funny

i love this fight btw. its so dynamic but its SILENT. and the entire fight is based around the need to not draw attention to themselves and disrupt the performance. very cool fight

like yeah the flips and the way they pull on each other's clothing and jump and use the bars and stuff super cool

literally the second time le chevre has done that exact same thing girly

that landing HAD to hurt SO BAD are you kidding

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR ME

THATS MY O P I N I O N

also love how carmen goes in slow motion before this but the music doesnt thats hilarious

wouldnt it have been funny if as carmen the singer was singing her high note carmen the thief fell on her

love the standing ovation and curtsy for the uh. fourth song of the opera

player was in record mode because he secretly loves opera and wanted to record the live performance of his favorite habanera

HUAN HONK HUNK HONK HA HION HA HONK he does bleat like a goat

THE DEAR BOY COMMENT WAS SO BASED NOT YOUR DEAR BOY

i find it very hard to believe that le chevre is so flippant about the mindwiping thing seeing as dr bellum is potentially setting him up for the exact same circumstances today in fighting carmen lmao

i love when characters on screens look at things from the perspective of the. screen

"remix" its just you dr bellum

carmen: haha quip player: oh girl u fucked up girl

love Carmen's thought process of being completely unaffected by the thing that got blasted directly in her face just because she wasn't the target

player does the most

i love doctor denim jeans she seems like such a nice enthusiastic person

look at her shes so excited

what was carmen standing up there looking for anyway

pls player didnt even know it was gray but he knew. he was just like ffs carmen not the silver jambon

love how carmen is pinpointing his orders from vile as the problem and not. his willingness and ability to kill her

he's got good hearing wow

sparky is actually australian slang for an electrician. good to know. shocked crackle didnt name himself Sparky

love how crackles tone changes from joking to that dramatic "year of my life" speech i dont remember if they used that for flashbacks or trailers or what but its for something lol

"electrician" gray you sit at the desk and press buttons as far as we can tell dude

"yeah stranger go online and find some random guy to take you into the australian outback <3 my experience couldnt help you avoid a potentially bad situation there at all."

shes like four feet away and he's screaming lmaoo

it is just her name, honey maid

"the outback- may sound like somewhere you would take a man to shoot him but we have to save that for next season!"

mad respect for them primarily referring to it as uluru so it sticks that way and not the more colonialized name of ayers rock, which was given to it by, surprise surprise, a brit

its a miracle the car didnt break down in the outback after player told her to be careful in the harsh terrain. literally two episode ago he was like "be careful of altitude sickness!!" and then she died

god the music and animation in this episode are gorgeous though arent they?

miro is the most patient man on the planet

ivy being so fed up with him wheeze

carmen being polite and excusing herself from the conversation! never thought i'd see the day lol

i love miro he's just like what. what do you mean. who are you guys and he's right

for sure the only tourist in the car

where did carmen get those hot little pink glasses and coats did they mug a couple workers or what

ivy and zack's sibling dynamic forever

she is for sure like five feet from that door and should not be running for as long as she is while talking to player she is a split second away from crashing into the wall

pls the rocket is so close to the facilities it would take the buildings out

GET HER ASS ZACK AND IVY NO MUSIC IN THE WORKPLACE

anyone else love the animation when ivy's waving the id badge at mom jeans denim

zack's little salute ive never noticed that before

yeah your new interns. the most conspicuous american twenty year olds we can find who apparently blend in with every situation, including fashion week in milan

who voices bell bottom jeans because her australian accent is sketch is it sharon. it sounds a little like bellum

IT IS SHARON ok sorry queen your australian accent is not great </3

is there a "where in space is carmen sandiego" where zack and ivy go to an alien planet because i havent watched any of the 90s show but. that feels like it would happen

was player directing her through that or did carmen just randomly learn to hack too

love the single button to launch a whole rocket its so funny

brancusi jeans: that was the day i decided the laboratory is no place for opera speakers: opera in the laboratory skinny jeans: wow this is the best thing that has ever happened to me

i wonder if that cart wheel was 3d

ivy expertly tied that woman up great job ivy. ig she learned from boston lol. interesting tho- that is how carmen tied them up, and i wonder if carmen taught them

uh oh spaghettio

again cs color theory <3 with the button going green when vile's plan starts to work

also love how zack was just like "SHIT CARMEN SPONTANEOUSLY TURNED EVIL THAT SUCKS"

the rocket launched in less that 3 minutes! btw it will take more than 4 until we get to the final countdown. and we will cut down much of the space in between but its totally less than three ok

love the way ivy smashes through that door

wheeze the control panel at the top of the tower

zack's got the best australian accent out of all the terrible australian accents in this show. he could be on bluey

zack's cold chuckle before he tells el topo that the dingoes are mauling his boyfriend is priceless its so funny

adore the clear shock and horror in carmen's voice when she realizes what she's done. good gina moment thank you for a moment gina. oh nevermind that what have i done was sad and limp :(

AGAIN THE ANIMATION THIS EP. LIKE IVY CLIMBING THAT LADDER? MWAH

le chevre said grrr. WHAT? OUGH!

"let go" yes le chevre that is something she would do while you're dangling her a thousand feet above the ground

pls my video started buffering and it just went "OUT OF MY WA-" and then the screen went black ivy killed it

love ivy shes such a girlboss

still not sure btw how top and bottom arent recognizing the boston kids its. what the third, fourth time?

that little thing le chevre does i think must be a vile taught thing, which is interesting. he hooks his arms under hers and holds her there that way. i say that because in the s2 opener episode el topo does the exact same thing to carmen

the gays are so funny i love them

ivy comes very close to dying a horrible death this episode lol

"i've got you."

drops her

she did not have to slide down the rocket like that but thank god she did. hot of her. love that her hair came down and her glasses came off for maximum hotness she booked it over here you can tell

miro!!!

the two gays are literally just >:( >:(

shit my pants joke

everyone laugh

player is literally that friend trying to get his bff not to get back in that toxic relationship GIRL HE TRIED TO KILL YOU LIKE. A WEEK AGO HE AINT WORTH THE FRESH START BROTHERLY RELATIONSHIP

i do like gina's voice acting here though. she does sound like she's actually. feeling things

god the shots in this show are so pretty

look at that. art

even the light changing from green to red once she decides to blow him off. yes yes yes yes the red represents safety and certainty and as soon as that green light turns not only does it physically block her from crossing over to him just like she's mentally decided not to put it puts any question of vile completely out of the question

insert that tumblr post about wanting to make eye contact with someone from across a street and then disappear behind a bus here bc i can't find it

HOW IS SHE WALKING IN THAT DIRECTION THATS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE BUS TRICK SHE JUST DID

woohoo carmen leading herself to believe that the only way she can keep people safe is to avoid them. im sure this wont come into play in any future searches for more familial figures of carmen's

i like all the human and animal remains in maelstrom's office. cool of him tbh

they wanted to say "bring me the head" so bad

anyway PAPER STAR! TRANSITION SENTENCE TO NEXT EP! i love next ep paper star is so cool. also beginnings of julethief. look, i have a transition sentence too.

next week is actually two days ago on saturday but thats okay ill hopefully get it done sometime this week, so i can be on time for being late this saturday. hope you liked this ep's notes <3

#cs weekly #carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego weekly #rip this was done last night but i couldnt post it #csweekly

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gunslinginnhogtyin · 6 months ago

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@dragonskxn replied: "Hey, no, it's okay," Annalise reassures him, taking a seat next to him in the grass. Looks like this wasn't going to be just be a simple answer. "You can take all the time you need, okay? I'm more than willing to listen.”

A brief smile crawls onto his face at her reassurance.

“Well, t’answer yer question, I…I wasn’t born with it. ‘Fact, I was born a normal ol’ human. It wasn’t until I got put away in that magic book that I started t’change.” Butch admits, seeming to just now realize that he hadn’t even mentioned that damn book, had he? It’s sweet though, to think she hadn’t questioned it before now because she saw him no differently because of these features.

“Shit, I ain’t even mentioned all that, huh?” The cowboy releases a sheepish chuckle before continuing on, “Back in my century, when I was still workin’ on my Pa’s farm, I met this woman an’ she was a witch. Not a mean kinda witch but I mean literally, this woman could cast spells an’ shit. She was… well, at th’ time it was th’ kindest anyone’s ever been t’me so I thought she was as sweet as could be an’ I couldn’t stand my Pop’s so I high tailed it outta there with ‘er. She was my best friend fer a long time,” though ten years held no candle to all the time lost in that book.

“We ate together, fought together, travelled together, robbed a bank or two together—everythin’ was just peachy. ‘Least… I didn’t have any complaints.” His tone suggests his partner in crime must have felt differently. “She had this magic book she took with ‘er everywhere where she’d trap away evil magic t’protect this world. We’d ventured int’ it a few times fer th’ hell of it an’ it was dangerous but we never went alone. It was…its own world in there. Dark an’ creepy, an’ it was always changin’.” As Butch continues, his tone grows a bit more serious, as does the look on his face as he revisits these events in his head.

“I dunno why or where it came from but one day, she told me there was danger an’ I needed t’hide. So, she did her whole magic thing an’ put me in there—I didn’t wanna go in alone an’ I tried t’get ‘er t’come with me but…” A soft sigh followed by a pause as he shakes his head, eyes finding the ground. He plays with some grass as he begins an again.

“…She said she’d find me later but, uh, that…never happened. She never came back fer me. I thought… somethin’ horrible happened to ‘er fer a long time. That place was… somethin’ else. I’d say worse than Hell but I ain’t ever been, heh.” He tries to toss a little joke in there to keep the air lighthearted though it’s a bit too late for that.

“It…changed me. I dunno how but I could feel it, an’ there was nothin’ I could do about it. These horns an’ tail, they hurt when they first grew in, real bad. It was…” he peers up in thought, momentarily squinting an eye shut. “Oh, I’d say a year or so ago when I finally was let outta that thing… by one’f her relatives. An’ that was by accident. That’s when they told me… she was dead.”

“An’ I know it ain’t much NOW… but it ain’t over. I’m… one’f them now, I jus’ know it.” Though he’s not even sure what ‘them’ is. An evil spirit of some kind? A demon? An honest to god demon? He didn’t know. His old partner in crime was the one who knew all that magic mumbo jumbo. I don’t feel th’ same as b’fore, I—“ Seeming to realize he’s been rambling, he stops himself, looking to Annalise a bit embarrassed, his head tilted down some.

“Er, s-sorry this is… it’s a lot. I jus’… want ya t’know everythin’ so ya understand. You’f all people deserve t’know… I dunno how much longer I got lookin’ like this. I dunno… what I might become. I figured maybe leavin’ that place stunted that weird ass transformation, but…” Butch trails off, averting his gaze. It’s obvious he’s been holding this all in for a long time. It’s hard to be so terrified of his unknown fate when he was raised to ignore such feelings.

Absentmindedly and without another word, he plucks out a cigarette from behind his ear and lights it up with a match.

#dragonskxn #(REEE THIS IS /ALOT/ MY BAD NSNSJS )#(don’t feel the need to match length omg Butch is just FEELING)

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rollercoasterwords · 2 years ago

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i am sorry if this sounds like i'm sending this in bad faith i know it sounds a bit rude but i swear i'm not trying to be. i'm genuinely curious about your reasoning behind this. (im a dorlene fan myself and idc about rosekiller).

don't you think it's a bit hypocritical shipping dorlene but saying you hate rosekiller bc they're nobodies in canon? i mean, arguably we have more canon info on barty than any of the other three together. or is there more to it that i'm missing?

lol no worries i will do my best 2 answer <3

so, a hypocrite/hypocrisy is essentially telling people that u think they should behave in a certain way/conform to a certain moral standard when u urself do not. if i was telling people, "you shouldn't enjoy shipping characters when there's very little canon info about them," and then i shipped dorlene, that would be hypocritical. but i'm always very clear that i'm not trying to enforce any standards on what people should or shouldn't ship, and that when i'm ranting about ships i hate it is simply my own personal preference + me having fun being a hater on my silly little tumblr blog, y'know? like, i usually throw in a little disclaimer somewhere going "ship what u want, it doesn't matter, i just don't like this ship, etc etc," just bc i know people get weird about their ships in this fandom and it just. genuinely does not matter 2 me if there are people out there in the world shipping rosekiller. like u do ur thing! just....do it far away from me lol.

also, i mean. although all those characters don't have much canon information, there are pretty significant differences in the canon information we do have about them. i usually just don't really get into this as a reason bc i don't want it to sound like i'm moralizing, becase, again, i genuinely do not care and do not think it's like...morally bad if someone wants to ship rosekiller. but! for the sake of explaining why i, personally, love dorlene + hate rosekiller, here are some differences:

in canon, the only thing we know about evan is that he's a death eater who blew off part of moody's nose (? i think. or was it his eye?) before moody killed him. that backstory holds....zero interest to me. i don't find it compelling. and if ur just plucking the name out of that and erasing all canon backstory...well. i also do not find that compelling.

similarly, while barty crouch jr. has more canon info than any of these other three characters, everything we know about him is that he is a very avid death eater and clear villain. personally, i'm not that interested in exploring his character! i think there's certainly potential for a story about how he got to that point, sure, but....idk. i'm not really interested in it. and i'm even less interested if, again, we're just erasing all that canon info and making him an oc....like, sure, go ahead and do that if u want. i just don't want to!

marlene's canon backstory is that she was a member of the order whose entire family was murdered. dorcas's backstory is that she was a member of the order who voldemort killed himself. what got me interested in them as characters was the headcanon that tied those backstories together, that dorcas went hunting for revenge after marlene's death and ultimately voldemort had to take her out because she did so much damage. i thought that was interesting! i found it compelling! it planted a seed in my brain that grew an entire massive story, and now i will love those characters forever simply because i spent so much time playing paper dolls with them in my head.

also, if ur handing me two blank-slate pairs of characters to ship, and one says GAY and one says LESBIAN and the rest is all fill in the blanks....well call me crazy boys but i'm gonna pick lesbian every time i think. that's just the way we roll over here at rollercoasterwords.tumblr.com <3

#in conlusion it's just fun to hate on things sometimes!#and me disliking rosekiller isn't me telling anyone else they can't or shouldn't like it #in fact i advocate for everyone liking whatever the fuck they want in this fandom #it's just that u gotta find ur own corner where u have a little circle of friends + mutuals + u can have fun liking the same things #and hating on the same things #and sometimes arguing when u disagree #ask

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mommymothma · 1 year ago

Text

Dave who gave you permission to tug on my heart strings like that?

Here is like the most concise version of my thoughts I am capable of generating 5 minutes after the finally

1. Ezra ahsoka and Sabine are the knee father son and holy spirit I love them and would die for them

2. Sabine's helmet just auto generating into the world was awesome. It means ahsoka picked it up and brought it for her queen behaviour

3. I appreciate that they mention Kanan by name this live action shows sometimes have a habit of just not mentioning important animated characters (like how Satine wasn't mentioned once in the mandalorian)

4. Sabine's family being wiped out on mandalore... I don't know why it took me so long to piece that together that yeah... they probably died. I guess I assumed people kind of just left after the siege but it was intact then and.... can't tall forever moving on

5. It was a violation for that trooper to just pluck Sabine's helmet off her head like that. A disgrace to the way. I'm a little shocked her helmet doesn't seal? I thought most of them did but what do I know

6. Yaya new kanan inspired lightsaber for Ezra just dropped.

7. Force sensitive Sabine. I have mixed thoughts on this but it was awfully convienient

8. I would love if Ahsoka just dual wielded one lightsaber and then Morgan's sword I think it was such a badass as thing for them to do a real win for the gays

9. Ahsoka being afraid of being left alone to die... just think about how many times that thought has crossed her mind. ESPECIALLY with the "all your friends are dead" line.

10. Baylan you SOB. Get your ass back here and stop cosplaying force daddy. Shin needs you. Also, highly sus by the way. But could be cool if it ever leads to a baylan, ahsoka and whoever the "son" will be trio eventually.

11. Manifesting the purrgils return to come save our girlie pops. Really thought that's what the hole in the sky was for.

12. I see u. I see u Dave with the whole "shadows in the stars" thing. I see anakin. And as much as I love the idea of him watching over ahsoka, I also don't like it because he's probably teaching her to be a force ghost which sets her up to die i am weary

13. Ezra not taking off the stormtroopers costume before dropping in on a republic ship is the most Ezra thing ever what a mad lad. Also, go hug your mom bro

14. I don't like them being left behind. But there is something to be said about the possibility of wolfwren now

15. Ahsoka fearing Sabine would turn to the darkside because she experienced loss is such a real reaction for her. She's seen what loss can do to a person

16. Um what was that cargo? Were those bodies in caskets. Clones? Dathomir stuff? I'm not sure but I don't like it

17. They better find their way home in the first episode of season 2 I need this rebels reunion ASAP stop holding out on me filoni

#star wars #clone wars #andor #ahsoka #the mandalorian #ahsoka tv show #ezra bridger #sabine wren #ahsoka tv #ahsoka final #ahsoka finale #i am in processing mode #when is season 2 #all i want is for family to be together #the sword was lowkeye kind of cool #thrawn flocking to dathomir immediately is a red flag #what was in the ship cargo #were those bodies

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twsted-princess · 11 months ago

Note

For the fluster ask

On that day Elias and Carol did some work in the green house together... She had a smaller dress on as she ran around trying to plant one flower to the other flower bed as she eventually noticed something in the Shed.

"Eli... could you maybe help me with something.... I think either the shovel is stuck or I am too weak to get it out there."

"Don't worry, I'll take a look."

And so he looked into the shed with her... trying to get the handle off the Shovel out and struggling as well.. as both noticed it was slightly hooked into the pot it was stuck in and both grabbed the handle to get it out.... but even if they got it out they both stumbled back... Eventually he woke up again as Carol bend over him close to his face.

"Are you alright? I was worried you hit your head."

She was very close... the comfortable smell of apples, the light hint of a cleavage and those worried eyes looking down on him as she was on top of him... what a mess he got himself into.

They were just done with sparring and moving on with the day... as suddenly a familiar face cought their view... a same tall vampire lady they were all too familiar with.

"Say Chilli... Could I spare some of your time? I feel a little... bored."

"Not at all what do you need?"

"Not here... follow me."

Vanessa led them away from the crowd and along the hallway... eventually stopping at a less occupied corner but what they didn't expect was her to boldly come close and kabedon them to the wall.... leaning down to let everything see with a light smirk licking her fangs.

"Would you mind me quenching my thirst a little?"

A light sigh escaped her... thanks to Flynn she lost a bet and had to wear this whole noble prince get up... tying her hair into a bun and filling in this radiant look.... however she knew as well that she could use this opportunity for a one little idea... eventually the guests flooded in and to her hopes Melanie also was part of the crowd to watch her later perform... yet she couldn't help to make use of this costume...

And so she let her along with the help of other members to meet her at an unfinished part of the set... Rubina took her hand gently and left a small kiss from her hand to her wrist going on a knee.

"My fated lady... I would do anything to be with you... to feel your touch each day... you just have to ask the word."

She chuckled a little before breaking the role pulling her along by her waist and trapping the Ramshackle dorm leader between the table and her, having this loving smile as she pressed her hands on the table to inspect her eyes.

"How was I, did I capture your heart?"

Hey Fumi, I love you.

Elias

"U- Um y- yes! Yes I'm fine!!" Oh no....this isn't good. Carol looked down to see him looking straight towards the ceiling, his face breaking into a sweat. "Are.....you sure?" He shakes his head. "Y- Yes yes!! Couldn't be any better!!" She watched him before giggling to herself. What a cutie...

Petva

Vanessa smiled, feeling the thump on their vein as she licks along their neck. Their skin tasted like fresh salt and a dash of citrus, akin of a margarita. "Like what you saw?" They ask, feeling her nails skim their chest and arms. "Very much so~" She feels them raise their neck, letting them press a kiss on their jugular. "Then drink up baby~"

Melanie

Rubina watches as her darling girlfriend's face turns from a rosy pink and the cherry red. Her mouth agape, one hand over her chest while the other gripes the princely suit sleeve. She looked ripe for a kiss and as Rubina gave into the temptation a voice came in. "Uh....Miss Loketon? Flynn said that you need to-" It was just Pluck and the ever graceful actress gazed at him while hiding her princess to her chest. "In a minute Pluck, I'm just looking for something." And as he leaves with a decent answer she turns back to her love. "My apologies.....he can wait a little bit. May I kiss you? Just one my love...."

#my work #twst oc's #twisted wonderland

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damistrolls · 2 years ago

Text

Ancient Matters

(google doc link)

these 2 have been on my brain lately, so i wanted to write a little smthn smthn 2 show off their dynamic a little

cause honestly u probably wouldnt get to see how soft noboru is for yahiro otherwise lmao

anyways ummm thank u for reading and i rlly hope u enjoy, i had fun writing them

—

The only glance Noboru spared when Yahiro entered was one to check whether or not he was holding something.

That little box in the teal’s hand meant so much, yet said so little. If only Yahiro brought one color box for good news, and a different one for bad news…

“Mizu yokan?”

“Neri,” the lawyer corrected with a smile, setting his ass right on the papers he had been looking over, causing Noboru to lean back in his seat with a slow, tired exhale. He always did this. Noboru really ought to just clear his desk as soon as Dayena mentions he’s coming.

Yahiro held the box out to him. The cutesy little bear logo on the side did nothing to settle him. Why did he always wait so long to say whether it’s good or bad news? He probably got a kick out of it.

“They’re basically the same thing…” Noboru took the box and opened it, glancing in.

“There’s also a chocolate cream puff.”

“Ugh, fuck me.” Noboru near-immediately plucks the sweet from the box, unable to resist taking a bite. He shakes his head, and puts the rest back in, closing the box lid to leave the rest of the cream puff and the neri yokan for later. “Gods. It’s like you’re trying to make Fansia pissed at me.”

“She’s too uptight, and I’m saying that to you of all trolls.” Yahiro laughs, watching as Noboru wipes a bit of chocolate from the corner of his mouth, setting the box aside. “Why’s she so concerned about your figure, anyways?”

“She’s just particular.”

“You make too many excuses for her.”

“Hiro…”

“I’m just saying, you’d still be hot as fuck even if you got a little soft in the tummy,” he teases lightly, reaching down towards Noboru’s stomach as if he’s about to tickle him, before his hand is lightly slapped.

“Yahiro.”

“Shit, it might even make you hotter. Like I’m seeing it in my brain now, and I really think you could rock th—“

“Yahiro, please. What are you here for?”

“Oh! Right!”

He could kill this man. And he would, if he didn’t also love him.

Yahiro hops off of the desk, scattering the pages he had been sitting on. Noboru sighs and begins to gather them back into a neat pile, watching out of the corner of his eye as the teal moves up to the window and stares out. You could see everything from that window. The city seemed small from all the way up here. It always did. Noboru sometimes wondered if Yahiro envied him for getting to see this view every day.

“I think you should meet my kismesis.”

“So that’s what this is about? You had me worried you killed someone.”

Yahiro turns his head to look at him, and flashes an amused smile. He must think it’s funny, but with the way that man lives, Noboru can never be too sure. The company he keeps isn’t always the best, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t worry about the audacious little attorney.

“Why the sudden change? I thought you said I probably shouldn’t meet the other people in your life,” Noboru sighs out, already tired by his moirail’s antics.

“I know what I said. But I dunno. This situation’s a bit more complicated than I originally wanted to admit.”

Noboru raised a brow curiously.

“How so?”

Yahiro paused at that, looking out the window again. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his bright, gaudy pants, and despite the smile on his face, Noboru could tell he was feeling conflicted. So, the violet stood, and joined his old friend by the window. He stared out to look at the cityscape with him, deciding to just give Yahiro a moment to collect his thoughts. Eventually, the man did indeed speak up again.

“You wouldn’t feel weird if I said I was kinda pale for him too, right?”

“Honestly, Hiro, I’d be more weirded out if you weren’t, with the way you spoke about him. Honestly, if I didn’t know you so well, I would have thought you’ve been planning to break up with me. It almost felt like some kind of power play to have you fawning over him to me.”

“Good thing you know me, then, huh?”

Noboru took a glance at his moirail, who smiled up at him, flashing those big, adorable teeth of his. The violet couldn’t help but soften his gaze a bit.

“Yes, indeed. Good thing.” He looked out the window again, pausing a moment, before continuing. “So, you really want me to meet him, then?”

“Yeah. I think, you know… It’s a good idea for you two to know each other, in case the pale feelings get a little hard to ignore.”

“I agree. I’d rather know the man personally, if there’s a chance we could share the same quad with you.”

“… How do you feel about that, by the way?”

Noboru hesitates, eyes falling shut as he thinks.

“Honestly… I’m glad. A little relieved, even. I sometimes feel as though I’m a terrible choice for a moirail, or any quad for that matter, simply because of all of the constraints I have to operate under. Regardless of whether or not it becomes anything, I’m just glad you have other people looking after you, Yahiro, to make up for the times that I can’t be with you. I love you, and it would only make me happy for you to find more people to take care of you.”

There’s a few moments of silence, before Noboru finds himself getting pulled down by his jacket, feeling the familiar mix of lip and tooth against him. He returns Yahiro’s eager kiss with a soft exhale, fins giving pleased little flicks. When the kiss breaks, he’s immediately pulled in by his lapels again, the teal now kissing at his cheek affectionately, causing Noboru to give a soft, amused chuckle.

“I hardly said anything, Hiro…”

But instead of a proper response, all he gets in return is a hum, a purr, more kisses peppered along his face, and scattered ‘I love you’s between said kisses. Noboru couldn’t stop a little purr from rumbling in his own chest as well as he allows the shorter man to shower him in affection.

… He wonders if it’s too late to cancel his next appointment.

#its just soft mushy stuff <3 #writing #yahiro #noboru #ancient matters

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whiskyblu · 10 months ago

Text

Ok the fuckboy allegations agains Jae eon are making more sense.

Ep 2 starts with Na Bi and Jae On about to kiss under a tree, then he gets a call, and has to leave.

Enter Best Girl Bit Na trying to explain to Na Bi

“Flowers don’t bloom for just one butterfly….he’s like a flower, a symbol of seductive beauty that withers once its plucked…and you don’t know how to keep things casual.”

And now that Na Bis been warned, Best Girl Bit Na proceeds to support and enable Na Bi to have as many orgasms as possible before she gets her heart broken.

And thats when I realized, I’m the fuckboi here. Like I’m pretty sure most of the people calling JaeOn a fuckboy would say the same about me because, while I’m not Song Kang Hot (bc really who tf is?) or as calculated about it as Jae On, that’s pretty much how I relationship. Like a neighborhood cat that wanders from house to house, no one knows who it technically belongs to, but everyone lets it in their house, feeds it, loves it, and lets it back out when its ready. If this dynamic does not spark joy in you, I’m probably not a good fit lol

Bit Na gets demoted from best girl to fuck girl for a bullshit speech about how men and women can’t be friends. -.-

Ok here’s where I get annoyed with jae eon, dude takes Na bi to a club, and she clearly hates it and has her ears covered and wants to leave. And he just acts cute and gently manipulates her into dancing with him and ‘having fun in spite of herself” cuz she’s so into him. Both cheesy and obnoxious. If it’s not fuck yea, it’s no my dude. In everything else as in sex.

Ok this part is dumb, too.

Nabi walks out of the club to meet Jae eon, who’s smoking outside. A girl gets to JE before Nabi does and clearly knows him, asks if he wants to come hang out with them, asks if he’s with anyone. A perfectly reasonable friendly interaction.

Nabi gets all sad and insecure, and Jae Eon…he reacts the way an insecure mono person would want him too, but it’s rude and stupid. He like. Looks at NaBi, looks kind of annoyed and nervous, and then puts an arm around NaBi and is all “i’m with her you can hang out without.” Girl suggests they can all hang out together, NaBi is like “no I can leave its fine!” -.-

Like. The appropriate way to handle that interaction is to be friendly, introduce everyone “i’m here with this person to night, we’re gonna hang out on our own. See you next time!” and everyone fucks off their separate ways.

But no. it’s all…tense and dumb.

Ok so I left a thing out. Theres this butterfly theme in the show. NaBi, I think, means butterfly, or sounds like butterfly in korean. JE has a Thing for butterflies. Like a cat lady, but butterflies. And the first time NaBi and Jae Eon met, he beat her at darts, and “the winner grants the loser a wish.” His wish was to draw a butterfly on her forearm in marker. Very cute, she didn’t wash it off, blah blah.

When he saw her again, he was like “oh its still there, it’s water based marker it should be gone by now.”

So, enter Random Club Girl, she’s got the same butterfly on her arm and its fresh. So, you know. More insecurity for NaBi

NaBi asks about the butterfly and he’s like “she did that on her own, she must’ve wanted to see how I’d react…she was a little obsessed with me and delusional.”

Squints ok yellow flag. That could be true. Or bullshit. Or “she wanted to date and I didn’t and then she wouldn’t leave me alone.” All plausible, but kinda shady. So, point in the fuckboy column.

The green flag, tho. Is that dude communicates. Addresses the situation head on, checks in. Asks here ‘hey why’d you try to ditch me?” and then proceeds to be reassuring and. You know. Normal about it. MonoNabi is unconvinced, and I am annoyed.

UGH fucking ji wan again. “Sol! Your so pretty! Even your eyebrows!” *pets eyebrows* “so what are we doing for lunch?”

Being closeted sucks. Oblivious straight girls suck, even when they are less straight than pre-gay.

Sidebar. Deeply fucking annoying thing in both kdrama and us stuff: character has some completely insignificant owie, and the other person fusses like they’ve broken an ankle. Bitch it’s a papercut, calm down.

Anyway, like that, and PJ being overly concerned is the thing that makes her think “yeah, no, I gotta nip this in the bud”

-.- Maybe I’m just too old for tv that doesn’t have monsters in it.

*a bunch of unnecessary angst about completely normal dating behavior*

…and then it gets gross. He messages her a lot and she ignores him, and angsts, and has a sex dream about him. Which. I mean. Fair.

Then she’s in class with him, and she has a Period disaster, so she starts acting uncomfortable and tries to escape, he goes to check on her-and notices she's trying to cover up her butt. So he just wraps a shirt around her waist.

Yeah, total fuck boy *eyeroll*

And then later when GoodFriend BitNa is trying to talk NaBi down from getting her heart broken she’s like:

“The things that make you feel special probably mean nothing to him. He’s nice to everyone without exception.”

DUDE.

He’s perfect. Why? Whis is this a problem? I’m so confused. The only ML with zero red flags and HE’S a fuckboy in a toxic situationship?

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

There’s another drunk college kids party, and it gets a little. People hang out at Na bis house, everyone scatters for a minute (cue some cute shit) and Na Bi seek Jae eon kissing one of the other girls

Ok, this part is gross. As soon as he sees NaBi, and tells the other girl “go back inside, I gotta make a phone call” and makes a very sincere-seeming, direct bid to be kissing NaBi instead instead…and she wipes the other girls lipstick off of him and kisses him.

Now I’ve got some fuckin feelings.

Like. He says something dumb like “oh, nbd, the girl just wanted to try kissing, I’d rather be kissing you.”

So like. Man is either a supervillain, ho edition, and is trying to see how far he can push her, or…idek.

Like. He’s obviously trying to persuade her to become part of the rotation, which is valid. But this just seems fuckin disrespectful to both of them.

Except if I was flirting with someone at a party, and saw him kissing someone else, it wouldn’t bother me. I mean, ok yes, I’m a human person who gets jealous but…not angry or disapproving. More like “ooh i wanna be smooching them too, get it, girl” you know? Like it wouldn’t bother me to be one of a few people making out with him in one night.

I miiight even feel weird to watch him ditch her to come make out with me?

Im also established enm, and very open about it so…different dynamics.

This is me being genuinely annoyed at our boy for the first time

#nevertheless #nevertheless ep2 #review #rewatch #spoilers #ohgodi'mafuckboi #the reason i get all offended on his behalf #is that he relationships just like me #recap

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anakinniesluv · 2 years ago

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Awake.

Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan × fem!Omaticaya!bestfriend!reader

Warnings/tags: fluffy, neteyam getting exposed, mentions of pain/bruises, Neteyam is aged up for the purpose of veing able to choose a mate, laughing n kicking my feet rn bye

Summary: you are much more conscious than Neteyam thinks.

Context: reader got hurt the night before, neteyam layer with her as she fell asleep. Set on awa’atlu.

Notes: I FINALLY got this posted. I had this almost done and then tumblr did that annoying thingy where it deletes ur draft for no reason like r u tryna catch these hands rn. After that I just didn't have much motivation to write it and I had classes n shi. Also so so sorry to @summeroxx for this taking so long!! <33

(Also creds to random notion makers for the divider lol)

You dont know when exactly you fell asleep. You remember laying in his arms and feeling his warmth, sculpting out every detail on his face as if you were about to make a painting. Then the next thing you can think of was darkness.

Your peace is disrupted by the not-so-quiet footsteps and whispering that sounds more like an everlasting voice crack on a normal volume voice.

"Are you sure she's okay?shouldn't she be up right now?" An all too familiar voice asks.

"Leave her alone, Neteyam. Her sleeping is not in any way bad. Back off before you wake her up and she plucks your eyeballs from your head herself," the all so wonderful kiri tells him off.

Neteyam scoffs, and silence follows after. You rest in quiet for a minute, only hearing the light scrapes of Kiri grinding an herb and the pleasant clicking of animals outside. It must be early, you think.

Neteyam must have been staring, because you hear what sounds to be a light tap on skin followed by Kiri's voice. "You practically have txe'lans (hearts) bulging from your eyes, Neteyam. Spare the girl from your pining for the short while she sleeps." Kiri says, teasing Neteyam and triggering him to send a playful smack to her arm.

"Seriously bro. Either ask her out or stop grossing us out with your little romance in denial." Another voice speaks from the entry. Lo'ak.

"Shut up, skxawng! What if she's awake!?" Neteyam has a strong reaction, and it takes everything in you to not burst out laughing at the irony, which doesn't go unnoticed by Kiri.

You hear Kiri grab something, before feeling the presence of her beside you as she lifts up your bandages to check your wounds. She leans over your head, asking it appear to the others that she is simply getting a better angle to check you over.

To your surprise, she leans close to your ear and whispers, "I know you're awake. This is enough proof that your love is requited, yes?"

You nearly start choking. We're you being that obvious?

Before you even fully process her words, she gets up. "She is healing very well. She should be fully recovered in a couple days." She says. Just then, you pretend to just be waking.

"Oh! You're awake, finally." Neteyam says once he notices you supposed recent consciousness. "Wow, 'tey. Thanks for being so happy to see me." You joke.

You sit up with your legs on the ground, stretching your arms before standing up and stretching your legs. You cannot manage to pull your eyes away from Neteyam. You had really been pining over him only to find out so far in that he feels the same?

Kiri walks towards the exit, stopping to whisper to Lo'ak, before taking the shocked looking boy outside. You are now alone with Neteyam.

What are you supposed to say? Do you tell him? Do you ignore it? Your mind is filled with thousands of panicked thoughts before your trance is broken by the one that causes them.

"How do you feel?" He asks. It's a simple question, but it still has you worrying about what to answer. "I feel fine." Is all you manage to stutter out.

He looks as if he is about to speak, but you cut him off. "Neteyam, can you meet me at our tree at eclipse tonight? It's important." He looks confused, maybe even dreadful at what is to come judging by your expression.

You speed-walk out of there as soon as he nods, trying to hide your blushing face.

Exiting the marui, you find Lo'ak and Kiri guiltily staring at you, obviously spying.

"EwwwWWWwww, my brother and best friend are going to get it on tonight; in a tree! Blegh!" "Shut up Lo'ak."

It's been hours since then, and eclipse is very soon to come. You check on your appearance, feeling very paranoid about meeting neteyam. He had been out for most of the day, and when he wasn't you were avoiding him and the marui you share with him.

You begin to head to the tree you had found and marked as yours and met at many times weeks before, making sure to not catch neteyam on your way out. You sneakily make your way to the tree, being slowed down by your injuries but managing anyways.

You make it up onto the largest branch of the tree, finding Neteyam already awaiting your arrival. His head snaps in your direction and he stands up as soon as he recognizes you.

"Is everything okay? I haven't seen you all day." He asks, stepping close to you. "Yeah- everything's fine just.." you trail off, not knowing what words to say.

"Just what? What was so important that you must bring me here to tell me?" He is urging you to tell him now, he is becoming anxious.

Before he can push you any further, you say it straight up. "I wasn't sleeping in the healing marui this morning." You say. His expression almost makes you want to clamp your hands over your mouth, his shocked and embarrassed face giving you guilt.

"I.. uh." He chokes on his words, taking a step back and looking everywhere but your face. His ears fold back and he almost has the expression that he might cry, but we all know he has mastered hiding his tears.

"I'm sorry. That probably makes you so uncomfortable, that's why you were avoiding me. I don't want you to hate me-" "No, 'Tey. You don't get it. I've been waiting to hear that since I was 10 years old." You interrupt his rambling.

"You.. what?" He finally looks you in the face, confusion and slight relief displayed on his features. "You skxawng, I've been yearning for those words since I was a child! Do you not get it? I wasn't exactly disc-" before you can finish your sentence, he cut you off by kissing you.

The kiss is passionate and beautiful. It shares all of the feelings you cannot express in words. It tells the stories of how you've longed for eachother as long as you can remember. It gives the message of how entirely you have eachothers hearts, minds and souls right in grasp.

Unfortunately, you are living and have to breath. You both pull back, catching your breath and sharing lovesick smiles.

"I want you to be my mate." He utters. "I would want nobody else, Neteyam."

This time you are the one to kiss him, but this time it's different. This kiss is more needy, less cautious.

Now you are both sitting on your knees facing eachother, not breaking the kiss as you kneel. You reach your hand around his neck and lightly grasp the base of the braid that covers his tswin (braid/queue).

He breaks the kiss before reaching behind his head, grabbing the large braid and looking at you for approval. You nod and smile like a fool before grabbing your own.

You carefully inch the tendrils towards eachother before making tsaheylu, and sealing the bond. You feel every bit of love he has, not to mention other emotions. You are overwhelmed with a feeling of closeness to eachother, and it is the most extraordinary, unexplainable feeling youve ever felt.

He is your mate for life now. He is yours, you are his. 'awsiteng nìt'iluke (together forever).

Hii! I'm so happy I finished this, the ending was a bit rushed but I'm happy it's done. This was made fem!reader out of habit because it wasn't requested a certain gender, but I could for sure make it GN! if you would rather that!! Ilysm, ty for reading. Also sorry that this was short, I didn't really know how to finish it since it was a mating thing, and smut wasn't requested so like yk

(Also PLEASEEEEEEEEEE send requests I'm begging)

#fanfic #neteyam #neteyam sully #female writers #fanfiction #avatar fanfiction #avatar twow #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam fanfiction #avatar neteyam

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