#HIV Marriages near me

[letmemarry]

HIV Marriages for HIV Positive Brides and Grooms in India

In a society where traditions and societal norms often dictate the path of matrimony, the challenges faced by HIV-positive brides and grooms in India, especially in Hyderabad, are distinctive and demanding. This article delves into the complexities surrounding HIV-positive marriages, shedding light on the need for support, understanding, and the creation of a more inclusive environment.

Brief Overview of HIV-Positive Marriages HIV-positive marriages involve couples where one or both partners are living with HIV. Despite medical advancements, societal stigmas continue to surround these unions.

Importance of Support for HIV-Positive Brides and Grooms The emotional and psychological toll on couples navigating HIV-positive marriages emphasizes the crucial need for support networks and understanding within their communities.

Context of HIV-Positive Marriages in India, Specifically Hyderabad India, with its rich cultural tapestry, faces unique challenges concerning HIV-positive marriages, and the city of Hyderabad is no exception.

Understanding the Challenges

Stigma Surrounding HIV-Positive Individuals One of the primary obstacles faced by HIV-positive brides and grooms is the pervasive stigma attached to their condition. Addressing this stigma is vital for fostering acceptance.

Lack of Awareness and Education A significant hurdle lies in the lack of awareness and education regarding HIV transmission, prevention, and the realities of living with the virus.

Emotional and Psychological Challenges Coping with the emotional and psychological challenges is a journey often traveled in isolation. Counseling services play a pivotal role in supporting these couples.

Navigating the Wedding Preparations

Support Networks for Couples Establishing robust support networks is essential for couples preparing for an HIV-positive marriage. Friends, family, and community organizations can offer invaluable assistance.

Counseling Services Professional counseling services provide a safe space for couples to address their concerns, fears, and aspirations, ensuring they embark on their marital journey with resilience.

Positive Examples and Success Stories Highlighting positive examples and success stories of HIV-positive marriages inspires hope and resilience within the community, dispelling myths and misconceptions.

Legal Aspects of HIV Marriages

Rights and Responsibilities Understanding the legal rights and responsibilities of HIV-positive brides and grooms is crucial for navigating societal expectations and safeguarding their union.

Legal Safeguards for HIV-Positive Brides and Grooms Legal frameworks exist to protect the rights of individuals with HIV. Awareness of these safeguards is vital for ensuring fair treatment.

Navigating Societal Norms and Expectations Balancing traditional expectations with the realities of HIV-positive marriages requires open dialogue and education to foster acceptance within communities.

Wedding Rituals and Traditions

Adapting Traditions for HIV-Positive Couples Customizing wedding rituals and traditions ensures that they align with the needs and comfort levels of HIV-positive couples.

Creating a Supportive Environment Fostering a supportive environment during wedding ceremonies helps create a positive and inclusive atmosphere for the couple and their guests.

Inclusivity in Wedding Ceremonies Promoting inclusivity in wedding ceremonies not only supports the couple but also contributes to changing societal perceptions surrounding HIV-positive marriages.

Community Involvement

Raising Awareness Community involvement is crucial for raising awareness about HIV, dispelling myths, and fostering an environment of empathy and understanding.

Building a Network of Support Communities can play a vital role in building a network of support, ensuring that HIV-positive couples have the backing they need to thrive in their marriages.

Encouraging Empathy and Understanding Creating spaces that encourage empathy and understanding reduces stigma and helps the community embrace the diversity of love.

Healthcare Support

Access to Medical Facilities Ensuring access to medical facilities and healthcare services is imperative for the well-being of HIV-positive brides and grooms.

Importance of Regular Check-Ups Regular health check-ups are vital for managing HIV. Encouraging couples to prioritize their health is essential for a fulfilling marital journey.

Dispelling Myths About HIV Transmission Education plays a crucial role in dispelling myths about HIV transmission, promoting a more informed and accepting society.

Financial Considerations

Challenges in Employment Opportunities HIV-positive individuals may face challenges in employment opportunities. Addressing these challenges through advocacy and support is essential.

Financial Planning for HIV-Positive Couples Financial planning becomes crucial for HIV-positive couples, considering potential challenges in the employment sector. Government and NGO support can play a vital role.

Government and NGO Support Governments and non-governmental organizations can contribute significantly by providing financial support and creating initiatives to empower HIV-positive couples.

Social Media and Advocacy

Utilizing Social Platforms for Awareness Leveraging social media platforms is a powerful way to raise awareness, educate the public, and advocate for the rights of HIV-positive couples.

Advocacy for HIV-Positive Marriages Advocacy efforts aim to break down societal barriers, challenge stigmas, and create a more inclusive society for HIV-positive couples.

Empowering Couples Through Online Communities Online communities provide a space for couples to share experiences.

[dissecting-bollywood]

10 Queer Characters/Couples in Indian Media

A topic that has been taboo in Indian society forever now, homosexuality is now prevalent and more talked about than ever. There have been many forms of normalization the Indian audience has been exposed to, such as literature, social media awareness, and of course, Indian Media. In celebration of Pride Month, I’d like to stray away from the more dehumanizing and embarrassing portrayals of LGBTQ+ characters and instead focus on the more positive and realistic portrayals of them. So here are 10 queer characters and couples in Indian Media (keep in mind, I probably missed some queer Indian characters, so please don’t @ me. These are some of my personal favorites and most of these movies are available on online platforms)

*minor spoiler for Kapoor and Sons*

*THIS WAS WRITTEN BEFORE THE BLM PROTESTS. DONATE TO THE MOVEMENT OR SIGN PETITIONS*

1. AMAN-KARTHIK IN SHUBH MANGAL ZYADA SAAVDHAN

Probably the most recent one on the list, SMZS took the internet by surprise with the great representation. Starring Ayushmann Khurrana as Karthik and Jitendra Kumar as Aman, the movie showed a healthy relationship between the two and made their personalities deeper than the typical gay man stereotype. Although the movie did have a story structure similar to the modern situational comedy movies (i.e. Dream Girl and Badhaai Ho), this movie is a fun ride and an important step towards LGBTQ+ acceptance in Indian cinema. SMZS is available of Amazon Prime.

2. SWEETY-KUHU IN EK LADKI KO DEKHA TOH AISA LAGA

Proclaimed as the first mainstream Bollywood movie to showcase a lesbian love story as the main focus, this movie was bold for many. Starring Sonam Kapoor as Sweety and Regina Cassandra as Kuhu, their chemistry on-screen was lovable and so was the innocence of their intentions. Sweety’s journey of acceptance of her identity is one that many could empathize with and the movie overall was visually pleasing to look at. In technical terms, I found the movie slightly bland but that doesn’t make me disregard the impact it has had in queer love stories in Bollywood. Watch it on Netflix.

3. SHABNAM MAUSI IN SHABNAM MAUSI

Rolling backwards in time to 2005′s, Shabnam Mausi is about the real-life Shabnam Bano, the first transgender woman to become a political activist. Played by Ashutosh Rana, this movie was incredibly risky for obvious reasons. At that time, transgender women were ostracized by society and for a fairly famous Rana to take up this role was daring. Even though the movie had exaggerated many events that took place in Bano’s life, Ashutosh Rana’s great performance can’t be ignored.

4. RAHUL KAPOOR IN KAPOOR AND SONS

2016′s Kapoor and Son’s was an emotional movie centered around a family and their troubles. The oldest son Rahul, played by Fawad Khan, for most of the runtime is portrayed to be the perfect child but towards the end, it is discovered that he is a closeted gay in a relationship. Fawad Khan is charming and effortless as always and he bought a sense of rawness and authenticity to his performance. His subplot is just one of the many brushstrokes that make this movie the way it is. Available on Netflix.

5. RADHA-SITA IN FIRE

Both Shabana Azmi and Nandita Das were proven brave for taking up the role of Radha and Sita, especially considering the negativity surrounding LGBTQ folks at 1996 India. The movie was unjustly marred with controversy and hate by conservatives, but almost all critics hailed this film as gutsy and path-breaking, which it was in many ways. Along with portraying a lesbian love story in the forefront, the movie also portrays unhappy marriages and age gap relationships well. Catch this one of YouTube.

6. LAILA-KHANUM IN MARGARITA WITH A STRAW

Laila is a teenager with celebral palsy and Khanum is a blind Pakistani-Bangladeshi. The two extremely daring roles were carried out to near perfection by Kalki and Sayani in this gem of a movie. The chemistry between them was impeccable and the moments they have together will definitely make you tear up. This movie was path-breaking for portraying characters with disabilities in a good way and (of course) tackling the subject of sexuality with nuance. Catch this heartfelt movie on Hulu.

7. PROFESSOR SIRAS IN ALIGARH

Aligarh is a biopic of Professor Ramchandra Siras, a former professor at Aligarh Muslim University who was caught getting intimate with a rickshaw puller, causing him to get suspended. Siras is a character easy to empathize with and everything that Bajpayee emoted was very praiseworthy. You could really feel Siras’ pain and struggle through the screen. Despite the movie being moderately successful, Bajpayee’s performance didn’t go unnoticed and he went on to win a Filmfare in Best Actor (Critics) category. 

8. SHILPA IN SUPER DELUXE

The only regional character in this list, Shilpa played by Vijay Sethupathi is a transgender woman who comes back to her childhood town to meet her family and child she left years ago. Although she is a small part of this 3 hour long movie, she is easily the most iconic character and her conversations with Rasukutty seems very genuine and wholesome. Her storyline was engaging and when the sad and unfortunate incident happens to her, I couldn’t help but shed a tear. Definitely one of my most favorite characters in South Indian cinema. Watch this masterpiece of a movie on Netflix.

9. NIKHIL-NIGEL IN MY BROTHER... NIKHIL

Nikhil Kapoor, played by Sanjay Suri, is a competitive swimmer who has a hard time with accepting himself when he has HIV and Nigel D’Costa is his supportive boyfriend. Much like Shabnam Mausi and Aligarh, the movie is based on the real life Dominic D’Souza, who was a well-known AIDS activist. Certainly another brave attempt to normalize gay portrayal in the silver screen during challenging times, the movie was received well worldwide and deservedly so. The movie featured great performances from everyone and the ending carried so many mixed emotions that it was just beautiful. Available on YouTube.

10. KARAN MEHRA IN MADE IN HEAVEN

One of my personal favorites in the list, Karan, played brilliantly by Arjun Mathur, is a wedding planner along with Tara Khanna. He is a well-fleshed out character with a great personality and I think 50% of my most favorite moments are with him in it. The web series manages to show the nitty gritty situations gay people faced before the court’s decision on Section 377, from the parents’ reactions, to facing society’s stigma. I found myself sobbing and smiling along with him throughout the series and I am interested as to what is planned ahead for him. Please watch this series on Amazon Prime its very good.

NOTE: IN THE LIGHT OF THE RECENT PROTESTS AGAINST POLICE BRUTALITY, I’D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO SAY THAT MY HEART GOES OUT TO THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY. I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE PAIN AND STRUGGLE YOU GO THROUGH, BUT KNOW THAT I WILL FOREVER SUPPORT THE BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT AND I URGE ANYONE READING TO CLICK ON THE LINKS ABOVE TO MAKE DONATIONS OR SIGN PETITIONS. #BLACKLIVESMATTER AND #ACAB

[tired-sunwitch]

Flowers Masterpost A - Z

Arisaema triphyllum Senecio vulgaris

A personal list of correspondences, as well as health facts and other names.

Arum - immortality, vitality (don't take while pregnant/breastfeeding)

Angelica (archangel) - wards, banishments, protection, purity. Soothes cough/cold, reduces fever. (Don't take w diabetic meds)

Arnica Montana (mountain daisy, mountain tobacco) - health, protection. Anti-inflammatory, oil eases muscle pain. ( poisonous in large amounts - severe gastrointestinal fever, nausea, fever, dizziness, diarrhea, internal bleeding)

Agrimony (rats tail) - reversal spells, protection, divination, sleep, revealed lies/secrets. Oil relieves muscle/nerve pain. Cream helps circulation, arthritis, and colds.

Azalea (Rhod odlendron) - happiness, spirit work, burial ritual offerings (poisonous - nausea, vomiting, coma, deep depression, difficulty breathing, fever, internal bleeding, abnormal heart rate)

African violet (saint paulia) - protection, spirit work

Althea (Hibiscus syriacus)  - purity, prosperity, anger, protection

Aster - love, offerings, protection, wishes

Astilbe (False goatsbeard)  - purity, prosperity, anger, protection

Avens (Geum) - exorcisms, purification, love

Bluebell (Hyacinthoides) - encouragement, subsequent danger, fields of them = fae are near, death omens (bulb is poisonous)

Blackthorn (Prunus spinosa) - an ill omen, warfare, death, secrets, murder, protection from fae, fertility, bad luck (poisonous in large amounts)

Bachelors Button (Centaurea, cornflower) love, death, offerings

Balm of Gilead (Ceclronella) - spirit work, love, secrets, beauty, confidence (skin irritation, severe stomach ache, don’t take if pregnant/breastfeeding)

Belladonna (nightshade, Atropa belladonna, death herb, devil’s cherries, devil’s herb) - death, dream magic, transformation, divination, astral projection, visions, curses (deadly poisonous - blurred vision, hallucinations, red skin, fever, dry mouth, loss of balance, coma, can be absorbed through skin)

Bryony (Bryonia diocia) - luck, money, life 

Burdock (Arctium Minus, fox dote)  - displeasure. Reduces throat infections, minor rashes and boils.

Buttercup (frog’s foot, Ranuculus areis) love, madness (poisonous - rash, blisters)

Bleeding heart (lamprocapnos spectabilis) - expression, love, passion, death, luck, bad omens, tragedy (poisonous in large amounts - convulsions, rashes)

Blue Cohosh (Caulophyllum thalictroides) - empowerment, purification, money, love breaking, protection (Don’t take if pregnant - miscarriages)

Black Cohosh (Actaea racemosa, cat’s foot, snakeroot)  - courage, power, love, potency, protection, happiness (don’t take if pregnant - miscarriages, nausea, rash, headache)

Betony (Stachys Officinalis, common hedge nettle, bishop wort) - purification, protection, cleansing, devotion

Bindweed (Convoluos arvensi, devel vine, devil guys) - humility, curses

Black - eye - Susan (rudbeckia hirta, brown betty, gloriosa, daisy, golden Jerusalem, English bullseye, yellow oxe eye) - transformation, life, healing, soul, love. Soothes swelling, back pain, earache, immune booster

Blue flag (Iris Versicolor, poisonous flag, chagon flower, dagger flower, dragon flower) - sorrow, hex breaking, don’t trust fae holding this, (poisonous - nausea, vomiting, irritation of mouth, skin, throat and digestion track, headache, watery eyes)

Bromeliad (chameleon star) - invisibility, stealth, remourse

Blue vervain (Verbena hastata, enchanters plant) - enchantment, protection, wards, celebration, sacred, marriage, love. relaxes the nervous system, pain relief for rheumatism, joint pain, and neuralgia (don’t take if pregnant/ breastfeeding)

Camellia (Taponica) - wealth, luxury. Oil treats burns

Calla (water arum) - death, curses. Treats cold/flu and snakebites. (poisonous in large amounts - tingly tongue)

Carnation (Dianthus caryophyllus, Alli flower) - strength, healing, death, love, bad omen for talents, agony. Aids sleep

yellow - disdain, contempt, rejection

white - offerings for funeral rituals, intuition

Calendula (bride of the sun, marigold, tagetes) - legal matters, rejection, Samhain, grief, vulgar, youth, jealousy, despair, joy. Energizer.

Cowslip (Primula Veris) - discoveries, treasure, youth, beauty, fae magic (Allergic - hypotension, high blood pressure, gastrointestinal irritation)

Chrysanthemum (mumindictum, mums) - fae magic, youth, fire, used in burial rituals, ancestry, blessings, bad luck on love, clairvoyance. Tea treats migraine, anti-bacterial.

Celandine (Chelidonium majus, devil’s milk, pilewort, fig buttercup) - protection, business, law, confusion (nausea, dizziness, fatigue, fever, liver damage)

Centaury (Centaurium erythraea, christ ladder, feverwort) - Luck, sun, ancestry. Aromatic, bitter, tonic, aids rheumatism, soothes, snake bites

Chamomile (from the loins, blood of Hestia) - fortune, protection, curses, fae magic, love, purification. Anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, anti-spasmodic, calming, sleep (don’t take with blood thinners)

Colt’s foot (Tussilago, winter heliotrope, clay weed, fieldhore, British tobacco) - love, speed. treats cough, bronchitis, clogged nose, poultice. Don’t take if pregnant/breastfeeding, on blood pressure meds, if allergic to ragweed, don’t take with alcohol)

Columbine (aqaliqua) - foolishness, innocence, protection, love, courage

Crocus Sativvs - love, strength

Carlina acaulis - health, sex, fertility, protection. Anti-viral, helps cold/flu

Daffodil (Narcissus) - love, luck, fertility, innocense, water, fae realm, youth (poisonous - staggering, numbness, paralysis)

Daisy (Bellis perennis, Soapwort, little star, oxe eye) - good and bad luck, growth, water, returning innocence, cleansing burdens, love, youth, reincarnation. aids diahrea, anti-inflammatory, helps cough and sore throat.

Dittany of crete (origanum dictamnus) - fertility

Daphne (laurel, Daphne odora) - hex breaking, darkness, fear, ill omens, dream magic (nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, rarely but can be deadly)

Datura (Datura stramonium, angel’s trumpet, moonflower, devil’s apple, witchweed, jimson weed, Devil’s snare) - visions, divination, spirit work, love, charms, insomnia (deadly poisonous, don’t inhale or consume - dry mouth, vision problems, nausea, vomiting, constipation, fast heart rate, hallucinations, high temperature, breathing problems, confusion, death, seizures, convulsions)

Dahlia - Beauty, tragedy, bad luck, eloquence

Edelweiss (Leontopodium nivale) - invisibility

Eyebright - mental clarity

Eryngo (sea holly) - luck to travel, peace, luck, love, exorcism

Echinacea - power, strength, invisibility, love. reduces cold/flu, anti-bacterial, (don’t take if you have tuberculosis, have HIV/AID’s, any auto-immune diseases, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, or are allergic to ragweed)

Forget me not (Myosotis) - bad luck, love, earth, prosperity, hidden wealth, unlucky to lovers, don’t trust fae holding this

Foxglove (digitalis, bloody fingers, dead man's bells, fairy fingers, lady gloves) - fae magic, offerings, wards, immortality. (poisonous, toxic - upset stomach, blurred vision, slow pulse, nausea, vomiting, muscle weakness, tremors, confusion, convulsions, abnormal heart rate)

fleabane (Erigeron, colt’s tail, semen of Nepriesos) - exorcism, protection

Gardenia Japsminordes - love, harmony, healing, peace, purity, innocence, hope, trust, protection, breakups, steal love, spirit work

Goldenrod (Solidago, Aaron’s rod) - treasure, wealth. Relieves gout and cramps, aids digestion eases cold and hay fever) (don’t take with liver medications)

Geranium (pelargonium, chocolate flower, crane’s bill, crow/dove’s foot, old maid nightcap, shame face) - fertility, health, love, protection, death, weddings, friendship, wishes. Relieves stress and tension, uplifts mood, anti-inflammatory, soothes itchy skin.

Galega officinalis (goats rue, French lilac, Italian fitch, professor weed) - health, healing. Ant-bacterial, mild diuretic (don’t take if pregnant/breastfeeding)

Gorse (ullex, prickly broom, furze) - protection, fertility, restores faith, sun, Lammas, encouragement, good omen

Groundsel (  Senecio vulgaris, old man in the spring) - Health, healing

Gelsemium sempervirens - tradition, curses, death, ill omens (extremely poisonous - headache, vision problems, difficulty swallowing, dizziness, muscle problems, seizures, breathing problems, shallow heartrate)

Heather (Calluna Vulgaris) - health, luck, durietic, anti-inflammatory, detoxifying, aids cold and cough

Hawthorn (crataegus, bread and cheese, hagthorn, mayblossom)- fertility, chastity, happiness, water, luck, protection, wealth, beauty, don’t trust fae holding this, associated with fae underworld Berries - anti-spasmodic, cardiac, diuretic, tonic and vasodilator.

Heliotrope (turnsole, valerian tagara) - protection, dream magic, luck, deception, visions, astral projection. Calms, aids IBS and high blood pressure.

purple - new love

white - innocence

imperial - majesty

Hellebore (Helleborus, semen of helios, Christmas rose) - water, protection, invisibility, nature, banishments, intellect. (don’t eat - stomach ache, burning mouth, eyes and throat, vomiting. If applied to the skin - irritation of the mouth and throat lining, vomiting, diarrhea, nerve problems, blindness)

Hemlock (tsuga Canadensis, devil’s oatmeal/porridge) - power, astral projection, death, bad omens, destroys love, fertility (stomach ache, vomiting, progressive paralysis to the nerve system, neuromuscular block, can be fatal)

Henbane (hyoscyamus higer, devils eye, stinking nightshade) - love, reversal magic, shapeshifting, invisibility, binding, protection (dilated pupils, hallucinations, increased heart rate, convulsions, vomiting, hypertension, ataxia, delirium, mania, dry mouth, death)

honeysuckle (ionicera, woodbine, goat’s leaf) - protection, money, dream magic, luck, affection, weddings. Relieves gout, anti-inflammatory

Hyacinthus (old man’s bells) - peace, sleep, love, luck, grief, pain (nausea, vomiting, can be fatal)

Hibiscus (bats wing) - lust, love, divination, passion, independence, confidence

Holly - protection, luck, prophetic dreams, money (berries are poisonous)

Hydrangea - hex breaking

Iris Croatia - wisdom, beauty, purification, protection from fae, fae offerings (severe digestion problems)

Jasminum - love, meditation, harmony, sleep, moon magic. aromatherapy, Calms, regulates blood pressure

Juniper - protection, love, bad luck, dreams, exorcism, health

Jack-in-the-pulpit ( Arisaema triphyllum) - tragedy, ill omen, death, love, revenge (skin and mouth irritation, swelling, burning, difficulties breathing, upset stomach)

Lily (Lilium) - strength, success, faith, ill omen, death, bad luck, vitality, rebirth, beauty

water lily - purity

lily of the valley - happiness, sweetness, divination, bad omens, indoor protection, death

yellow - falsehood, happiness

white - purity, sweetness

tiger lily (figridia pavonia) friendship, pride

Lilac (syringa Vulgaris) - protection, banishment, rain, mourning, spirit work

Lotus (nelumbo Nucifera, sacred lotus) - eloquence, love, recantation

Lavender (Lavendula, elf leaf, nardus) protection, healing, beauty, air, attracts good and bad entities when worn, longevity, fertility. Reduces anxiety, tension, headache, stress, indigestion, low blood pressure, anti-bacterial, antiseptic, disinfectant (causes drowsiness, don’t take w sedatives/lithium)

Lobelia (Indian tobacco) - love, longevity, elegance, peace (toxic - dizziness, intense nausea, and vomiting, don’t take if under 18, if pregnant/breastfeeding, or have any heart conditions)

lovage - love

Life everlasting (Helichrysum arenarium) - longevity, health

Masterwort ( Peucedanum ostruthium) - Strength, protection, courage

Magnolia (cucumber tree) - love, persistence, death, wisdom, insight. Aids high blood pressure, dysentery, diarrhea, fidelity

Mallow (Malva) - protection, exorcisms, love

Morning glory (pomoea, devil’s gut, goats foot) - binding, banishments, attraction (toxic - diarrhea, gastrointestinal pain, anorexia, hallucinations)

Myrtus (myrtle, periwinkle, viena minor, devil’s eye) - love, fertility, peace, money, beauty (poisonous - should not be consumed, nausea, vomiting, hearing and hair loss, dizziness, seizures,low blood pressure, death )

Orchid (Orchidaceae) concentration, memory, focus

Oleander Nirium - sickness, bad luck, protection, transformation

Pansey (throla tricolor, var hortensis, love of idleness) thoughts, love, marriage, disappointment, divination, rain

Pennyroyal (mentha puleqiuem, stinking balm) - luck, resolution (severe kidney,, liver, and brain damage, stomach pain, nausea, burning of the throat, fever, vomiting, confusion, restlessness, dizziness, don’t take if pregnant - miscarriage)

peony (Paeonia) - shame, beauty, luck, charms (don’t take while pregnant/breastfeeding)

Pimpernell (angellis arvensis) - change, protection from deception, melancholy, sleep, banishment

petunia - relaxation

Plumeria - love

pipsissewa - money, spirit work

poppy (blind eye, papauer somni ferum) - luck, happiness, dream magic

red - consolation

white - dreams

scarlet - extravagance

primrose (password, butter rose, pimula Vulgaris) - youth, sadness, inconsistency, merit, healing, fae offering, bad omens

Rose - love, beauty, happiness, tranquility, curses, glamours, pride, grace, charms. Anti-bacterial, astringent, tonic, aids cold and flu and digestion pain.

white - worth, unity, purity

red - love, courage, respect, passion

yellow - jealousy, friendship, joy, creativity

white and red - unity

yellow and red - new love

peach - gratitude 

coral - desire

orange - desire, enthusiasm

light pink - sympathy, admiration, grace

lavender - love at first sight, enchantment

blue - unattainable, impossible

Burgandy- unconcious beauty

Senna- love, faith (irritable bowel lining, laxative)

snapdragon (calf's snout, antirrhinum) - protection

Spiderwort ( Tradescantia) - love

sunflower (helianthus annaus) happiness, optimism, health, luck, confidence. Diuretic and expectorant, aids fever, reduces swelling, aids an upset stomach

trillium - love, luck

Tulipa - love, beauty, glamours, grounding, protection

Valerian (bloody butcher, capon’s tail, cat’s herb, Ram’s horn) - nightmares, anxiety, sleep, purity, 

Veronica officinalis (birds-eye) - fidelity, trust

Violet - death, rebirth, love, luck, nervousness, anxiety, paranoia

wolfsbane (aconitum) protection, invisibility (disables nerves, lowers blood pressure, avoid skin contact, stops the heart)

Wisteria - enchantments, fae magic, longevity, adventure, purity. (poisonous - severe stomach pain)

Zephyr flower - expectation

[dxmedstudent]

On contraceptives and medicine...

Occasionally you come across threads online where people seem to think that contraceptives are some kind of medical conspiracy. There’s a narrative that ‘medicine doesn’t know ANYTHING about women’s problems so medicine is useless and doctors don’t know anything’. There’s still been a lot of research; not enough but that’s true of many conditions. Whilst there’s a very real gap in research and accommodation when it comes to women, how it is depicted is often simplistic.  We do need more research, but in the meantime we need to encourage people to make use of what we have now to empower themselves. As a woman, I have to make do with what we have now, whilst I encourage medicine to do better.  Science and medicine hasn’t always served women, but it’s something that is slowly being addressed. Yes, contraceptives also have a checquered past. A lot of medicines have a dodgy and far from illustrious past; we can’t realistically throw out everything in history with a less than perfect past. On an individual level, some people have horrible experiences with doctors. We need to hold people to account if they are failing their patients and work on better training for new doctors if current training is lacking.  I, too, haven’t always been ideally served as a patient. As a woman and doctor, I think this is harmful because it dissuades people from seeking help. If you keep hearing that nobody is any good, and that nobody knows anything anyway, why would you bother? We need to encourage people to educate themselves and empower them to look for doctors who can listen and help, not spread the idea that it’s useless.  So there are a few ideas that I think it would help to clear up: Asking about your sexual health is part of holistic healthcare It is wrong for a doctor to assume that a young person (or person of any age) should be sexually active. I’ve had chats like that as a patient when I was younger and it’s awkward because you shouldn’t have to explain why you aren’t sexually active; it’s enough for that to simply be a choice you’ve made. And it shouldn’t be treated as a weird thing. However, it’s not wrong for a doctor to ask if someone is sexually active; sexual health is part of holistic care. I’ve seen people literally say ‘doctors asume we’re all sluts’ or ‘doctors are patronising by assuming I don’t know all about sex’.  I can’t argue if someone feels that their doctor took a patronising tone they need to improve on. But asking if someone is having sex of any sort is not assuming that you’re promiscuous, and it does not inherently have to be a value judgement. It’s covering the fact that many (actually most) people are sexually active at some point, and the vast majority of people are sexually active before marriage. A good healthcare professional shouldn’t care at all whether you are having sex before marriage (or at all); it should be a neutral topic to them. Their only care should be; does what you are doing fulfil you, and how can they make it as safe as possible. If a doctor is being judgemental, that’s on them, and that’s bad care. But being judgemental is not an integral part of the process. And that’s part of your health care that especially needs covering if you go to see a doctor about your reproductive organs. It’s also important for healthcare professionals not to assume how much you know about your reproductive tract, sexual health or contraception. We all have a different amount of knowledge and different experiences; if their manner is off, that’s frustrating and they need to work on that, but that does not make it wrong to try to ensure that you’re starting from a good foundation. I’ve talked to patients with a very wide range of understanding of their bodies - our jobs as clinicians are to ensure that whatever someone’s baseline knowledge is, we can relay information in a way that suits them, rather than with jargon.

PIV is not the only form of sex We also need to abolish this idea that there is ‘the Sex’ and ‘everthing but’ as if they are two wholly separate patterns of behaviour. Sex of any sort is part of the spectrum of sexual behaviour. It doesn’t matter if the P hasn’t hit the V; sexually transmissible infections are still a thing, as long as any bits get anywhere near genitals and body fluids have a way of getting... everywhere. Sex, even playing around, is a messy process. I’ve definitely seen a few posts in these threads with the theme of ‘well I wasn’t virginal, but I was technically a virgin’ -  it doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t have to explain yourself in terms of how far you did or didn’t get. Holistic care would still recommend the discussion of contraception and limiting the risks of infection transmission, if you have any sexual activity with someone. You can still be a ‘technical virgin’ and be at risk of STIs, and therefore in certain contexts that’s still an appropriate discussion for clinicians to have with you. That’s not to say that people don’t often have important reasons for enjoying different kinds of sexual activities at different times in their lives; you’re not accountable to anyone for your choices and it’s your body. But I feel that in some of these posts I detect an underlying theme of ‘ well, what I was doing wasn’t real sex, so don’t lump me with those slutty people having premarital sex’.

I mean, it’s pretty weird - someone could be playing around with their partner and as long as they stop short of PIV, it’s considered acceptable, but PIV is taboo - but all the other things are also pretty intimate, and, also well, still sex. You can put yourself through all sorts of mental gymnastics about ‘real sex’ versus ‘everything else’ to justify things, but in the end it’s all pretty similar. You’ve got intimacy and body fluids going on.

You don’t have to have Sex (TM) to be at risk of infections. And infections aren’t something to be ashamed of, or a sign that you’re promiscuous, or even that your partner has been promiscuous; all it takes is for them to have been with one other person in their lives. And frankly, it’s ridiculous that someone can have had sex with exactly (1) other person in the context of a loving relationship and be labelled slutty.  I know these threads are often in the context of US conservative Christian marriages, but sex outside of heteronormativity exists, and protection is still very necessary even in those situations. Most people these days are having extramarital sex, regardless of their orientation, and medical care needs to reflect that. So you may be asked questions about the other kinds of sex you are having, if it’s relevant. Vaccines are important and STIs don’t come with warning labels. The HPV vaccine is important. I’m glad my GP told me of a prescribing loophole through which she could prescribe it for me; I was a little older than the cut-off, but I had never been sexually active, and she knew that it was important to protect as many people as possible. The vaccine itself isn’t 100% but it’s better than nothing, given that HPV is almost ubiquitous. 8/10 people will catch it, and condoms are only about 70% successful at preventing spread, so if you have sex with anyone, there’s a good chance you might get it. Saying “I don’t need the vaccine because I only ever plan to have sex with one person” is risky and badly thought out.  Because it relies on that other person never having had sexual contact with anyone else, ever, and I don’t think it’s fair to place that expectation on a partner. And if they know there’s that expectation, what’s to stop them from lying? Anyone is entitled to refuse vaccination, of course. It’s a free country. But refusing a vaccination is never without risks, which are almost always greater than those of the vaccine themselves. Cervical cancer is horrible and people can die young, and treatments can affect your ability to carry pregnancies. Plus, genital warts are nasty, and if you can decrease the risk of both, why not?  The cervical cancer vaccine carries a stigma specifically because it relates to sexual activity. Whilst we’re at it, there’s no such thing as ‘I know my partner doesn’t have STIs’. This simply does not exist. You can’t 100% know for certain that your partner has never had sexual contact with another person - if you’re in a cultural situation where people expect their partner to be a virgin, you’re also in a situation where people are motivated to lie if they fall short of this expectation to cover their reputation. And if they have been with anyone, then you don’t know if they could have caught something. Hey, I’ve seen a lot of penises and vulvas, and although I can say that someone looks healthy or normal, that’s not guarantee of not having infections. For example, chlamydia and gonorrhoea are often symptomless but can damage fertility, and HIV can often go years without any symptoms or problems. Unless someone has tested negative (and they haven’t slept with anyone new in that incubation window period), then you just don’t know.  You also can’t 100% know that your partner isn’t cheating or has never cheated. Now, on a personal level, we all have to believe our partner is honest; that’s how relationships work, through trust. So I’m not going to tell you to assume your partner is doing the dirty on you.  But on a statistical level? Cheating partners cause significant spread of sexually transmitted disease, particularly if they have sex with sex workers. This is something that happens around the world, in conservative as well as liberal environments.  So even if you never plan to sleep wth anyone else, sometimes you can still suffer the consequences of someone else’s risky behaviour. It’s not fair and it’s not nice, but in healthcare we have to deal with that reality. That’s also why the vaccine remains relevant even in conservative communities. On a statistical level, even in communities where promiscuity or sex outside marriage is discouraged, it isn’t nonexistant. Contraceptives are valid medical treatments, but nobody HAS to use them. Particular kinds of hormonal contraceptives tend to be effective and frontline treatments for hormonally treating particular conditions; for example PCOS, endometriosis, fibroids. It’s perfectly fine to want to explore the options, from doing nothing, to managing as conservatively as possible, to considering operations (if possible), to hormonal treatments, etc. You’re allowed to decide to not do something, or to choose how aggressively you want to treat something. Some people seem to be frustrated that doctors can’t offer many non-hormonal treatments. But that’s partly because many problems relating to the gynaecological system are affected by your hormonal cycle. A lot of what goes on with that system is closely tied up with our hormones. The way we make endometriosis less bad is by stopping periods. The way we make PCOS less of an issue is by managing hormones.  Depending on the problem, sometimes there are non-hormonal treatments that can help with symptoms (for example, there are medications for painful or heavy periods, or acne that aren’t hormonal), but they can’t inherently change what is going on there.

I know there’s a lot of concern from some people about the effect of hormonal contraceptives, and I think that concern about the longterm effects of any treatment is reasonable. There are risks associated with hormonal contraceptives. And more research on long term effects of any medicaiton should always be welcomed.  But I do wonder in this case how much of that concern is tied up with the taboo surrounding sex, particularly if it’s ‘consequence free’ as some people describe it.

There are lots of reasons why people might not want to use hormonal contraception, and in the end nobody has to. They are simply a choice. Some people can’t get on with the side effects, some don’t like the risks involved, some have religious objections, some people just don’t want to take tablets or stick things into their bodies. It’s your choice, and it’s all valid. But it’s not valid to trash that choice for other people, or to imply anyone who lives differently is degenerate. There’s a lot of judgement in these threads.

Contraceptives do not turn women into a sex object. Contraceptives do not objectify women by turning them into a sex object. I’ve seen people suggest that they only exist so women can be consequence free receptacles of sex for men and are therefore inherently tools of the patriarchy. For people claiming that contraceptives objectify women, these people are literally embodying women as semen receptacles with no agency of their own and having the audacity to pretend they are feminist. Women have agency. They are people. They do not become sex objects because they choose to have sex. They do not become sex objects because they have ‘conseqence free’ sex. Regardless of whether that sex is in marriage, or not. And with one partner, or many. The funny thing is that initially ontraceptives were only prescribed to married women with their husbands’ permission; society very clearly didn’t want to give women the ability to control their own reproductive choices. Even historically, they weren’t about turning women into objects, but allowing married women the ability to choose when to plan their family. Nowadays, contraceptives allow anyone with a uterus/ovary combination the ability to control if they menstruate or are likely to get pregnant. That’s it. They don’t force you to have sex or dictate the kind of relationship you have with penis-havers. You know what happened before we had contraceptives? Women still had sex. Men, when they wanted to, still pressured women into sex and raped them.  Husbands still had sex with their wives. Women still had sex outside of wedlock, sometimes willingly, sometimes through force. They just... didn’t have as many options to prevent pregnancy or prevent the transmission of disease, so they had to deal with the stigma of having sex outside of marriage, or carrying an illegitimate child; consequences that men never had to deal with. And that doesn’t seem to have stopped many men through the years doing what they like, no matter what the social consequences were for women. It didn’t stop men failing to look after their illegitimate children or the women who birthed them. It didn’t stop life-threatening abortions. It just created an atmosphere of shame and secrecy; of unwed mother’s institutions and babies disappearing or quietly being given away. Even in the context of loving marriages, many families struggled to look after the many children that ensued; imagine if they had the knowledge or resources to pace out their children so they could afford to look after them. So arguing that contraceptives mainly benefit men is completely disingenuous. Sure, perhaps men get to have a bit more sex now because women feel more happy to have sex knowing they are a lot less likely to get pregnant. Men can still be deadbeat or missing fathers if they choose. But women have benefited far, far more, despite the side effects and risks because historically, having sex and giving birth have always been risky for women. It’s not that birth control is an easy, fun choice, it’s that the choices have often been dire. For many women around the world, the choices are still dire. Lack of access to contraception means many girls and women around the world still bear children they do not want to have, and catch infections from the men who have sex with, or rape them. A woman who can’t recognise that other women around the world might desperately need to stave off having kids or protect themselves, just because they themselves don’t feel this particular method is for them, is not acting as a feminist. By forgetting the situaiton that women around the world are still dealing with, we’re letting our own privilege get the better of us. To be honest, commentary like this  makes me pretty suspicious of the underlying beliefs of some posters who otherwise purport to be feminist. Since these people believe they have the agency to choose to have sex (it’s implied this is within marriage, almost always, in these threads) it’s clear that what is being attacked when they criticise contraceptives here, is the agency of women who choose to have sex in a context these people disapprove of.  Having safe, ‘consequence-free’ sex is not dirty, or immoral. It does not, in itself, turn you into a sex object, because women are grown human beings with agency and the ability to want and enjoy sex on their terms. I hate the term consequence free sex, because it implies sex ought to come with consequences - what? Risks? Punishment? Diseases? Babies? The consequences of sex can be fun, intimacy, enjoyment, bonding and an expression of deep love. For many people, it’s an integral part of relationships and often, ultimately marriage if that’s what they want.

And if a woman doesn’t have agency or is being coerced or pressured into sex, that is not her fault. And in such a situation, contraceptives may still play a vital role because they prevent people from falling pregnant in dire situations. In such a situation, contraceptives are not the bad guys, and the woman would likely be coerced regardless of whether she was protected. But it’s disingenuous to claim that doctors are pushing an agenda without reflecting that the people telling you hormonal contraceptives are bad or that you shouldn’t be having premarital sex etc are also pushing an agenda. The largest critics of hormonal contraception have historically been those in power in conservatively religious communities who have strict rules about what women are and aren’t allowed to do. And that those rules have very rarely been empowering for women. Allowing people to break free of those rules hands the choice back to us. What people do with the freedoms that contraception allows them is up to them. And feminism will always be about giving people the knowledge and the choice to do what is best for them. If that’s not having sex, good for you. But that may equally mean having sex for someone else. Disclosure of interests: I don’t get paid by manufacturers of contraceptives, I don’t even prescribe them on my current job. Before anyone caims that I’m a proponent of ‘hookup culture’ who just can’t ‘get’ people who don’t want to have sex, I don’t personally do ‘hookups’ and waited til I was ready. I’ve spent a ton of time single. I really don’t care if people wait until marriage or have sex with 10 people every day. I don’t believe people should be stigmatised for having sex, or not having sex. It simply is not a reflection of anyone’s worth or morality.

[heliosphoenix]

State of the Planet: 2019 Edition

Alright everyone, it's time once again for Helios' annual wrap up of the orbit we've just taken around the ol' Sun. This is the State of the Planet as we close out 2019.

Now before I begin I want to state that, unlike seemingly everyone else, I'll only be looking back at things that happened this year as opposed to this decade. For those wondering why, it's because I want to save my decade wrap up for when the decade actually ends. And as anyone who was around for Y2K can tell you, because there was no Year 0, the next decade doesn't actually begin until 2021.

Which means my decade wrap-up will be a year from today (and thus quite lame) but at least I'll be consistent.

So, with that in mind, let's take a look back at what happened this year:

Same-sex marriage became legal in Austria, Taiwan, Ecuador and Northern Ireland.

Pope Francis became the first Pope to visit the Arabian peninsula.

Avengers: Endgame became the highest grossing movie of all time.

A 17 year old in Britain was the first person to receive a genetically modified phage therapy to treat a drug-resistant infection.

Jane Goodall won the Luxembourg Prize for Outstanding Environmental Peace.

Humpback whales recovered from near-extinction in the South Atlantic.

71 new species were discovered this year.

The Antarctic ozone hole was the smallest on record since its discovery.

One third of the world's electricity is now powered by renewable energy sources.

A record number of African American women (34) graduated from West Point.

The Indian Navy welcomed its first-ever woman pilot.

The European Commission elected its first female President.

Chicago elected its first African-American woman mayor.

Ali Stroker became the first wheelchair-bound actor to win a Tony award for her role in "Oklahoma!"

Game of Thrones, The Big Bang Theory and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic came to an end with strong finales (2/3 anyway).

The New England Patriots won the Super Bowl, making it 6 rings for Tom Brady.

The Washington Nationals won their first World Series.

The US Women's National Team won the 2019 World Cup, their fourth title.

A new form of messenger RNA Aerosol was developed, which could be helpful for treating diseases like Cystic Fibrosis.

Malaria was eliminated from Algeria and Argentina.

Two men may have been cured of HIV.

Child mortality rates are at an all time low.

Researchers at the University of Michigan and UC Berkeley developed new 3D Printing methods.

Waymo has chosen Michigan to be the site of the world's first autonomous vehicle production factory.

All 16 gigabytes of Wikipedia were encoded into synthetic DNA.

The US Government authorized funds for Geoengineering.

Video was taken by NOAA researches of a Giant Squid in the Gulf of Mexico.

SpaceX's Dragon 2 and Boeing's Starliner capsules made their first flights.

The first all-women Spacewalk was conducted on the International Space Station.

India, Israel and China launched probes to the Moon, with China making the first soft landing on the far side.

Water was detected on Mars and K2-18b, a Super-Earth 110 light years away.

The New Horizons space probe made a fly by of the KBO Arrokoth (then known as Ultima Thule)

For the first time ever, a Black Hole was imaged.

The above is a snapshot of where I'm at right now, the final hours of 2019. You, dear reader, are in the future. Let this list above serve as a reminder of what we've experienced in this past year.

Now the time has come for me to give a little speech to tie up everything that we've been through in 2019. Usually this is the part where I have trouble, but the truth is that I've known for a while what word I want to use to describe this past year.

The word of the year is "sacrifice."

This is a word that isn't supposed to be thrown around lightly, but I feel it's lost its meaning. When sons of certain politicians equate their lost business opportunities to what the soldiers buried in Arlington gave up...I get the feeling that the meaning has been cheapened.

As Captain America said to Tony Stark, it's about fighting for someone besides yourself. It's about laying down on the wire to let the others crawl over you.

It's about giving up your youth to bring attention to a coming environmental disaster, as we saw with Greta Thunburg.

It's about going into a disaster zone to save one life, as we saw with the first responders who ventured into areas ravaged by Hurricanes or Earthquakes, or battled raging wildfires in the United States and Australia.

It's about risking your own life in the name of standing up for your rights and liberties, as we saw with the protesters in Hong Kong.

It's about nearly destroying yourself to save an entire continent, if not a planet, as we saw re-enacted in HBO's Chernobyl.

As we here in America prepare to once again ask ourselves what course our nation should take, I feel that we've lost sight of the sacrifices the Founders made to get us to this point. We seem less concerned with the prosperity of our nation and more concerned with the prosperity of those that we happen to like, with the misfortune of those who disagree with us not only accepted, but desired. We've gone from E pluribus, unum to "my side needs to win no matter what, fuck the others."

This is not to say we are averse to the notion of sacrifice. We're perfectly willing to give up something for our friends and family as well as anyone who happens to share the same views. But I feel that we're not willing to go further than that. If we are to continue to proclaim ourselves, as we indeed are, the defenders of liberty and freedom wherever they may exist in the world, then we need to uphold ourselves to those values. We need to be willing to make sacrifices not just for ourselves and our "side", whatever that may be, but for all Americans.

And more importantly, all citizens of this Earth must be willing to make a sacrifice not just for their city or country or race or ideology, but for all of humanity. This is the only way for us to fulfill our destiny. The future of our species awaits us among the stars, and I know that the only way to get there is together.

So as we head into the true final year of this decade, consider what you are willing to give up and who you're willing to give it up for. And remember that the time will come when we all will have to decide whether or not to make a sacrifice in the name of something that's greater than all of us. What that sacrifice is and whether or not you choose to make it is for you to decide.

Just know that somewhere out there in a sea of 400 billion Suns is a world just like this one.

We owe it to ourselves and our children yet unborn to give our species the best possible chance to visit. Just in case it turns out to have Jedi or Ponies.

Have a great day, a great week, a great month and a great 2020.

See you next year.

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[therandomfics]

Anniversary: 5

How long had it been since you had been happy? It was a question you asked yourself often, especially when you woke up at 3AM because your anxiety wanted to have a chat. You couldn’t remember when you were truly happy. You couldn’t remember when you felt anything other than concern - and mostly for Peter. 

Peter Stone, the bane of your existence and in the very same breath, the one person you wanted to see happy. He was everything to you, and even at his very worst, you wanted to see him successful. His career never seemed to falter despite his personal conflicts - drinking, cheating, lying, the works - and it was something that you’d always admired. Even during his baseball career, when you’d first met, you realized how important it was for him to be successful. 

What bothered you was that it was his desire for professional fame that never seemed to be impacted, but rather his personal life that took the toll. Countless times over the past five years you’d taken a backseat and allowed him to do what he felt was right. Through all of his trials and tribulations, you were the ever present source of light. When his father passed away, you held down the fort while he handled business. You supported his decision to move to New York, uprooting your life to follow him and show your support. When his sister perished, you held his shaking, weeping frame and told no one of his admissions of guilt and fear. Even when he was accused of rape, you stood by his side... but, you had to admit, you weren’t sure if you really believed that he hadn’t done it. He had a drinking problem and a knack for seduction - after all, that’s how you’d met. The bar scene wasn’t your thing, but it was a pivotal trip to a club with friends that lead you into the arms of your now husband. 

It wasn’t until you’d fallen in love with Peter that you realized what a horrible person he was - although back then, you wouldn’t have called horrible. You were blinded by his charm, his fame, his good looks, his personality. He kissed you like he was starving for more and the passion that you shared couldn’t be rivaled. The first few months were bliss and you were oblivious to his indiscretion. It didn’t matter, he’d reasoned and told you that you weren’t truly together but he would change and he would be yours only. 

And maybe a few other women here and there. 

Cold water washed over your body, reminding you that your shower was over and you had used the hot water reserve in the heater. You shivered and turned the water off, shoving the curtain back and wrapping a towel around your body. The only thing you still enjoyed about being with Peter was that you were able to start your own business and watch it grow. Without him, that wouldn’t have been possible. 

The marble counter provided a nice surface for your phone to vibrate across, filling your ears with the whirring sound of an incoming call. Peter. 

You answered but said nothing. 

“Y/N. I can hear you.” 

“What do you want?” 

He sighed. “I want to talk to you.” 

“You’re talking.” 

“In person, I mean.” 

You rolled your eyes and exhaled gently. “That’s not a good idea, Peter. I’m sorry.” 

“I love you.” 

Your finger tapped the red button on the phone faster than you thought possible. Perhaps Peter did love you, but it surely wasn’t your version of love. 

                        ______________________________________

“I’m sorry that I called you.” You smiled half-heartedly and tapped your fingers against your coffee mug. It had been a week since you’d seen Peter and you had no intentions of trying to contact him until you were ready. He wouldn’t be able to rush you this time. 

“Don’t apologize,” Sonny replied, offering you a smile. You wanted to trust him, but that seemed impossible. Not just with him, but with anyone. How could you put faith in another person when your own husband was the very definition of bullshit. “Are you okay?” 

You shrugged and folded your arms across your chest. It was defensive and involuntary, but you kept your stance. “I don’t know, Sonny. I don’t have anyone to talk to about what’s going on. My family warned me not to marry him. I mean I guess I knew, too, but I thought that it would be the right motivation to get him where he needed to be. He’s just gotten worse.” 

Sonny nodded knowingly and frowned. “Stone and I have spent a lot of time together and I am disgusted that I didn’t know he was married. You know? I mean I helped the guy out...” he trailed off and sighed. “Sorry. You don’t need to know that.” 

“I kind of already do,” you admitted. “I was so starstruck when I met him. He was like a god. He paid attention to me. He made me feel like I was the most important thing in the world and then I caught him with another woman on a few different occasions but.. who was I to say he was wrong for it? Look at me. Peter is out of my league. He fits in here. A lot of you New York guys look like you could model full time.” 

Sonny blushed and averted his gaze to anything but you. He was flattered but it was inappropriate given the situation you were in and his affiliation to your husband. “Why do you think that? You’re beautiful. I’m not just saying that. You really are. Stone should respect your marriage and appreciate you for the person that you are. I’ve only seen you twice now and I can tell you’re kind and you’ve got a good heart. I’ve been looking for you for a long time.” 

You looked up at Sonny with saucer eyes. “What?” 

“I mean, I uh. I meant someone like you, that’s what I was sayin’.” His face was blood red and you suppressed a giggle. 

“Right....” you muttered and sipped your coffee.  “Where is he?” 

“He told me he’s staying at a hotel near the courthouse.” Of course, you already knew that because of the alert you got from the bank about a suspicious charge on your account. It was more a test of Sonny’s honesty than anything else. “He’s been at work everyday and he looks like he’s okay.” 

You nodded slowly and let your shoulders slump. “Thanks for meeting with me. It means a lot that you’d take the time out of your day to talk to me about someone you consider a good friend.” 

“Considered,” Sonny corrected you. 

                         _____________________________________

“I’ve been doing - don’t interrupt me - a lot of thinking and I think we need to figure out what’s actually going to happen with us.” You were pacing back and forth in your bedroom, phone to your ear as you waited for Peter’s response. 

“What do you mean what’s going to happen?” 

“I need to see you. I’m at home. Can you come by when you get off work?” 

“I can be there in an hour.” 

“Sure.” 

Three weeks had passed since you’d asked Peter to leave. He had listened and kept his distance, respecting your boundaries and giving you time to process what had happened. In the past, you’d never given yourself a chance to assess the situation and had taken him back into your life within hours. This time it was different. This time you were married and he had broken his vows to you in only a year’s time. Things weren’t easy, and they never really had been, but enough was enough. You were no stranger to difficulty. 

Peter let himself in and shut the door, draping his coat over the arm of the couch and setting his briefcase on the floor. “Where are you at?” he called out. 

“Kitchen,” you replied and braced yourself for the worst. He walked into the room and your stomach was in knots. He was so handsome - a tailored suit and a fresh haircut - and it was hard to resist him. You wanted nothing more than to rush forward and embrace him, to let him lie to you and promise you a world he could never truly offer. “Hi.” 

“Hi. You wanted to talk?” he asked, seating himself at the bar. Thank God he put a solid barrier between the two of you. 

You nodded and leaned forward on the counter, your forearms flush against the granite. “Do you remember when we first started dating, and I was head over heels in love with you?” 

“How could I forget?” 

“And remember when I told you for the first time that I loved you?”

“Yes. Where is this going?” He arched a brow and propped his elbows on the counter. 

You waved your hand to shush him. “I never thought someone like you would want someone like me, and I was so baffled by it that I never wanted to let you go. If I let you leave, I’d never find anyone like you again and that’s a terrifying thought. Being alone, I mean, that’s.. I can’t.. but I guess I am alone already. People look at you more than they look at me. You’re beautiful. You’re so fucking perfect.” The heat was rising to your cheeks and you felt them turn from a pink to a crimson in seconds. Your heart pounded in your ears and your mouth was dry. You felt like you were giving a speech in college again, in front of 300 people you didn’t know - but you knew they were critiquing you. 

“Y/N, I don’t understand. You’re beautiful. I love everything about you. Everything. I can’t imagine myself with anyone else.” 

You laughed and choked at the same time, breaking the dam and letting the tears flow freely. “You’re always with someone else,” you hissed and stood up, wiping your face dry. “That’s the problem. I’d rather be alone than to wait around for you to get someone else pregnant, or get HIV, or whatever. You haven’t touched me in months and I guess that’s for the best.” 

Peter stood up and slowly walked around the corner. No matter how awful he was to you, you knew that he hated to see you cry and would do anything to get you to calm down. His arms pulled you close and he held you against his chest, rubbing your back softly. “I think we need to get professional help. I do, I know I do, but I think for the sake of what I’ve done to you, we both need it.” 

You caved and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face into the fabric of his shirt. He was your safe place to land, or he used to be. He hadn’t been around lately and you’d found yourself crashing to the ground below without so much as a safety net. It was a reminder you needed. You squeezed him tightly and then let go abruptly, breaking from his grasp. It was hard to be near him when you knew that your comfort zone was someone else’s happy hour. You could almost feel the warmth from another woman holding him.

“C’mere..” he whispered and reached for you again. His attempt was shot down when you slapped his hand away and locked your eyes with his. 

“I want a divorce.” 

[letmemarry]

Matrimony for HIV-Positive Grooms and Brides in India

In a country where societal norms often shape the contours of relationships, the narrative around HIV marriages is undergoing a transformation. Across the vibrant landscapes of Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, and Kolkata, couples are not merely bound by love but are pioneers in rewriting the script of matrimony. In collaboration with letmemarry.com, these cities are witnessing a resurgence of hope, resilience, and the celebration of love that transcends the limitations imposed by HIV.

Mumbai: A Tapestry of Love and Resilience In the bustling city of dreams, Mumbai, HIV couples are weaving a tapestry of love and resilience. Letmemarry bureau, as a catalyst, plays a pivotal role in connecting souls. The city's cosmopolitan spirit embraces diversity, fostering an environment where couples facing the challenges of HIV can build a life together. From strolls along Marine Drive to the vibrant street food culture, Mumbai offers a canvas where love knows no boundaries.

Delhi: Embracing Love Amidst Traditions Delhi, the heart of the nation, is witnessing a harmonious blend of tradition and progressive values in HIV marriages. Letmemarry Bureau in Delhi is not just a platform; it's a bridge that connects hearts beyond the stigma of HIV. The city's rich history becomes a backdrop for couples as they navigate life together, overcoming societal norms and building a future steeped in understanding and mutual support.

Bangalore: Tech Hub and Hub of Love In the Silicon Valley of India, Bangalore, where innovation thrives, letmemarry.com is carving a niche for fostering meaningful connections among HIV couples. Beyond the tech corridors, couples explore the city's parks, cultural events, and eclectic cafes, forging bonds that withstand the challenges of societal misconceptions. Bangalore's progressive mindset provides a supportive ecosystem for couples in HIV marriages.

Kolkata: Artistic Expression of Love Kolkata, with its artistic soul, provides a unique backdrop for HIV couples to express their love. Letmemarry bureau in Kolkata actively engages with the artistic community, breaking down stereotypes. From the iconic Howrah Bridge to the serene boat rides on the Hooghly River, the city offers a poetic setting for couples to script their love story, free from the shackles of societal judgment.

Life Together: Triumphs and Challenges

Navigating life as an HIV couple in these cities comes with both triumphs and challenges. While the supportive ecosystem created by letmemarry.com fosters understanding and love, societal stigma remains a hurdle. The couples' resilience, mutual support, and the platform's commitment to inclusivity contribute to the triumphs over adversity.

Celebrating Everyday Moments

In the midst of societal challenges, HIV couples in these cities find joy in everyday moments. From sharing a cup of chai in Mumbai's local trains to exploring Delhi's historical landmarks hand in hand, from tech-inspired dates in Bangalore to artistic expressions of love in Kolkata's cultural festivals, every moment becomes a celebration of their unique journey together.

Summary:

Redefining Love, One City at a Time

In conclusion, the top four cities in India – Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, and Kolkata – are not just witnessing HIV marriages; they are witnessing a redefinition of love itself. With letmemarry.com as a guiding force, couples in these cities are navigating life together, breaking down societal barriers, and rewriting the narrative of matrimony in a way that celebrates love in its purest form.

[spoonmebabyy]

She was on her way to becoming a college graduate

Wouldn't even stop to talk to the average kid

The type of Latina I'd sit and contemplate marriage with

Fuck the horse and carriage shit, her love was never for hire

Disciplined, intellectual beauty's what I desire

Flyer than Salma Hayek or Jennifer Lopez

Everyone told me, kicking it to her was hopeless

At first I just thought, she didn't mess with broke kids

The thug niggas always talking about, how they smoke kids

But the rich-sniff-coke kids got no play

"I'm not even interested, " is what her body language would say

Everyone around the way, gave up trying to get in it

It didn't matter how good your game was, she wasn't with it

On the block, bitches was jealous, but wouldn't admit it

Talk shit, and deny to everyone that they did it

Cause they regretted the long list of niggas that they let hit it

And no one ever gave them shit except McDonald's and did-dick

Smoking weed with thoughts of envy, whenever they lit it

She spoke intelligently and they bit it, always trying to copy

But when they tried to use her vocab they sounded sloppy

She had a style, all her own, respectful and pure

I was sick in the head for her, and there wasn't a cure

Don't you know that, time waits for no man

My fate, it's all planned

I'm blessed just to know you

I've loved and I've lost just to hold you all night

Can't find, a reason why

God came, between you and I

If I had the chance again, I'd never let you go

Hold tight to your love, cause you never know

Her eyes are brown and beautiful, yet empty and sad

I used to talk to her occasionally, and she was glad

That I wasn't just another nigga trying to get in it

So every now and then we'd stop and talk for a minute

I didn't have a gimmick so the minutes turned to hours

On her birthday, I gave her a poem with flowers

Then I took her out to dinner after her cousin's baby shower

We talked about, power to the people and such

We spent more time together but it was never enough

I never tried to sneak a touch, or even cop a feel

I was too interested, in keeping it real

Perfectly honest and complete, she would always call me "cariño"

And never Technique, bought me a new book to read every 2 or 3 weeks

Forever changing the expression of my thoughts when I speak

It was because of her, I even deaded all of my freaks

She convinced me, to stop hanging out on the streets

To stop robbing and stealing, from people like you

Instead I took her out to the Apollo and the Bronx Zoo

Museo del Barrio and the Metropolitan too

Got to the point when I was either with her or my crew

So I decided one day, to tell her my feelings was true

I couldn't live without her so I told her, facing my fears

But honey's only response, was a face full of tears

She could only sob hysterically, holding me tight

I tried to speak, but she wouldn't stop until I left sight

I felt like a moth who got himself too close to the light

Except I didn't burn, I turned cold after that night

Don't you know that, time waits for no man

My fate, it's all planned

I'm blessed just to know you

I've loved and I've lost just to hold you all night

Can't find, a reason why

God came, between you and I

If I had the chance again, I'd never let you go

Hold tight to your love, cause you never know

I went on with my life, college and my career

Ended up locked up like an animal for a year

Where the C.O.'s talk to you like they were the overseer

Then I got sent to the hole, when my exit was near

At night in my cell, I'd close my eyes and I'd see her

Hold her close in my dreams, but when I woke she disappeared

Just an empty cell until the state gave me parole in the summer

Came back, in tact and on track

But the fact of the matter, is I still felt cold

Even after my mother, hugged me, crying at home

My real niggas would catch me thinking, outta my zone

Fucking lots of different women, but I still felt alone

Relatively well-known around the New York underground

But I kept thinking of her and how we used to be down

The sound of her voice, and the beautiful smell of her hair

Though gone physically, somehow it was still there

I had to do something, because the shit was too much to bear

So I went and visited the building where she used to live

The world looks a lot different after you do a bid

The way your life done changed

While primitive minds are still stuck in the same game

Like her cousin who was on the corner slanging cocaine

Stepped in the lobby and tapped the button next to her last name

Her mom buzzed me up and hugged me up, like a mother ought to

But her facial expression changed, when I asked about her daughter

Don't you know that, time waits for no man

My fate, it's all planned

I'm blessed just to know you

I've loved and I've lost just to hold you all night

Can't find, a reason why

God came, between you and I

If I had the chance again, I'd never let you go

Hold tight to your love, cause you never know

She told me that there was a note for me, that was left behind

She had left it there waiting, for such a long time

I was inclined to ask about it but she brought it up first

I saw a tear swelling up in her eye, and then she cursed

She told me where the letter was and I started thinking the worst

Reversed my position, stepped over and opened the door

And sure enough there was an envelope with my name on the floor

"Nobody loves you more than me, cariño" is what the letter said

"By the time you get to read this, I'll probably be dead

But when you left in '97 a part of me went to Heaven

I thank God at least I got to know what love really was

But it hurt me, to see what true love really does

Cause even though we never made love, you were all that there was

It was because I loved you so much that I had to make you leave

You made me doubt the way I thought, you made me want to believe

And then I slipped up, and I let you get close to me

It was hard to not be openly when people spoke to me

This was not the way I thought my life was supposed to be

Baby don't you see, I had a blood transfusion that left me with HIV

Hope didn't exist for me since late in 1993

I died a virgin, I wish I could've given myself to you

I cried in the hospital because there was no one else but you

Promise that you'll meet me in paradise inevitably

No matter what, I'll keep your love forever with me"

What happened for the rest of the day is still a blur

But I remember wishing that I was dead, instead of her

She was buried on August 3rd

The story ends without a sequel

And now you know why Technique, don't fucking fall in love with people

Hold the person that you love closely if they're next to you

The one you love, not the person that'll simply have sex with you

Appreciate them to the fullest extent, and then beyond

Cause you never really know what you got, until it's gone

[karachiescorts11-blog]

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[aella-a]

I have been thinking a lot about Banana Fish being updated to the contemporary world and what that means.

A lot of people have had concerns that it won't translate because the NYC of today is very different from the 80s. Which isn't something I much thought about, so I won't get into that.

My concern...although concern is probably too strong a word- is how the homophobia, internalised, (because internalised homophobia is a thing in this story) and otherwise can be translated to today's world in the United States.

I think for the most part it can work. Ash inhabits a class that isn't gay friendly. A world of contradictions, where men prey on boys sexually but 'no-homo' attitude is deadly, especially with men who are in positions of power in that world. A world that is a million miles from gay marriage and the metoo movement and liberal upper middle class America.

Ash inhabits the gang world of toxic masculinity where sex is used as a weapon. This is an interesting theme to explore and makes perfect sense in any gang-subculture today and the 80s, or anywhere in the world where male dominated criminal gangs exist.

You can realistically move the homophobia and misogyny from the manga to current times- its not nice, but it makes sense for a lot of the story.

However, Ash's greater world back in the 80s is very different to today. In the 80s the Reagan administration was actively at war against gays, the HIV panic was at its height and the establishment was happily sowing discord about how disgusting homosexuals were in spreading diseases. You may say, "so that happens today! Well yes and no, it does but nowhere near the levels of the 80s. Its just a entirely different world, you didn't have Hollywood support for gay rights, or legislation of gay marriage back then. Older gay people I know have told me that the thought that they would marry and have their marriage recognized in their lifetime back then seemed as fantastical as waking up and finding a dragon on their frontstep.

I said that today Ash subculture is a million miles from that liberal upper middle class world. Thats true, but Ash in 2018 lives with gay marriage as backdrops. They have smartphones ffs.

So my concern is how they keep that homophobia in the series and still be aware of the world that exists in 2018.

I am not really good with words, maybe someone will do better than me, but I am lowkey worried that the homosexuality portrayed explicitly in the manga, and implied with the main relationship is just going to be cut and pasted exactly as is, in tone and in action without considering how much the world has changed in the last 30 years.

I feel if that's done, it will be a disservice to the themes of the original. Im not sure how it could be updated, but it has to be. If its not, its just not going to translate well.

[wiremagazine]

OUT & ABOUT: LET’S CELEBRATE AT THE NATIONAL LGBTQ TASK FORCE GALA – MIAMI

By Rafa Carvajal | Photos by Juan Saco Mironoff. miamigayblog.com

As a proud sponsor of the annual National LGBTQ Task Force Gala – Miami, Wire Magazine invites you to join us this Saturday, October 6 at the Fontainebleau Miami Beach to celebrate our LGBTQ community and recognize this year’s honorees. Robin Roberts and Sam Champion will receive the 2018 National Leadership Award, and South Florida activists and philanthropists Charles Million and Tim Nardi will receive the 2018 Eddy McIntyre Community Service Award.

Robin is the co-anchor of Good Morning America on ABC. The ABC News website explains that "under her leadership, the broadcast has won five Emmy Awards for Outstanding Morning Program and the 2017 People’s Choice Award for Favorite Daytime TV Hosting Team." Also, in December 2013, Robin publicly acknowledged her longtime partner, Amber Laign. Sam is a five-time Emmy and Peabody award-winning anchor best-known for his work on Good Morning America, where he became the first news anchor to come out publicly. Sam is also a passionate advocate for the LGBTQ community that has raised awareness of HIV prevention, a recipient of the Human Rights Campaign’s Visibility Award, and one of the first openly gay news personalities in the world.

Emmy Award-winning actor and musician Jai Rodriguez, best known as the ‘Culture Vulture’ on the Bravo network's reality television program Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, will emcee this year’s Gala. Singer-songwriter Kimberley Locke, of American Idol fame, will also perform live.

We sat down with Sam Champion to discuss his career, advocacy efforts and the importance of fighting for our rights and full equality.

Rafa Carvajal: Tell our readers about your professional background and your advocacy for the LGBTQ community? Sam Champion: People think I've been with ABC forever! My first jobs were local news in Paducah, KY and Jacksonville, FL. It was my third job that took me to New York City. I have worked on all three networks and every Cable News Network (except Fox News), but most people seem to remember my years at Good Morning America, where I started while working at WABC in 1988. It was in NYC that I started focusing on raising money for AIDS research and support groups, after my best friend hid his diagnosis and needlessly died. Being outed while working in NYC in the ‘90s, gave me the unique opportunity to be visible in the community when homophobia in the News business was unforgiving and rampant. We faced many challenges today, but it's wonderful to see the progress our community has made in the last 30 years.

RC: How did you feel when you found out you were going to be honored with the National Leadership Award at this year’s Task Force Gala – Miami? SC: I am very touched and honored. My husband and I understood there would be good sides and bad sides of "visibility" when we announced our engagement on Good Morning America almost seven years ago. We had no plan or intent to be leaders, we, like others, just wanted to simply express our love and share our family openly.

RC: What does this honor mean to you? SC: It's very emotional for me when I think of all the incredible people who have been honored by The Task Force. There will be people in that room on October 6 that have devoted their lives working with and for our community every day. I want to thank them! I see it as a challenge to be more visible here at home... to do more.

RC: I have been watching Good Morning America every morning for years. What are your thoughts regarding sharing this great honor with Robin Roberts, your former GMA colleague? SC: This brings me great joy, and it’s a dream come true to share another important moment at this stage of our lives! When Good Morning America became number one for the first time in 20 years, people said it was the real "chemistry" and that we were a "family." They were seeing and feeling the truth. In my heart, Robin and her family are honestly a part of our family. I feel like I grew up with her and we have shared so many of life's important milestones together.  

RC: What were your concerns when you decided to become the first news anchor to come out publicly? How did coming out publicly change your life? SC: I was at the top of my career and we knew there were people who were opposed to it. Actively against it! But, I am lucky to be in love with the most amazing human being I have ever met. Being honest about that love was more important than any possible risk or "blowback." We realized in telling the story later, we had no idea how much love and support we would receive from the public. The next day, taxi and bus drivers were honking and waving... people were crossing the street to give us their congratulations or a copy of the newspaper. We were floored. Not long after that, while in line at airport security, there was a commotion in the long line behind us. A woman was shaken and crying as she pushed her way thru the line. When she got near us, she told us the story of her daughter in the military who was announcing her love and marriage because of watching us on TV. She was so proud and happy, and that's when we realized how intensely our announcement had impacted others. Our marriage, in all ways, has made me a better person and being "out" in a supportive community like South Florida is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.    

RC: In your opinion, what are the greatest challenges facing our LGBTQ community today? SC: I once believed hate and bigotry could be put-down or killed... Now older, I know it will live forever and needs to be battled aggressively, forcefully, and loudly... daily.  As a community, some of our biggest battles are within our own ranks. Gay men and women are every size, shape, color, age, ethnicity, religion and political persuasion. We are stronger than any opposition that seeks to demonize us or to remove our constitutional rights, but only stronger when we use the strength of our common beliefs and experiences and stand together.

RC: What do you think are the best tools at the disposal of our LGBTQ community to continue fighting for full equality and equal rights? SC: Visibility! What we are doing on October 6th is our best and strongest "superpower." Beating back political and social opposition means standing together, finding a loud voice and raising lots of money. Yes, we have every right to expect the security guaranteed by the American Constitution, but today's politics make it impossible to assume those rights will be equally or fairly applied. We must fight for, and secure all rights as forcefully as we fight for our own, and do it by forging unbreakable alliances.

RC: What are you looking forward to the most at this year’s Task Force Gala – Miami? SC: Being a part of the 22nd Task Force Gala has a great feel of history all by itself! It’s a long list of community activists and friends who have taken this stage. I am very excited to applaud the work of Charles Million and Tim Nardi! Also – selfishly – excited to be laughing with friends, and possibly share an adult beverage or three.

RC: Is there anything else you would like to share with Wire Magazine readers? SC: If you want to be loved and accepted as the wonderful bright light that you are, accept openly the people around you! And when you hear the terms or face the actions that are meant to bring you down, please hear these words: I love you for the wonderful things that make you unique, colorful, dynamic and exciting... those things are gifts, share them with the world as only you can!

This article will be published in Wire Magazine Issue 40.2018

[letmemarry]

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[astrocenter]

Saturn in Capricorn from 24/01/2020 in Transit-Fourth Article

Saturn will change from Sagittarius to Capricorn on 24/01/2020 at 7.14 AM Samvat 2076 on the Amvasya day when at that time Moon will be in Uttra Ashad  ( Sun Nakshatra) in Capricorn  01.00 ( degress ).The Saturn will remain in retrograde position on 11/05/2020 and again become progressive 29/09/2020.

 In transit the Saturn is auspicious and gives good results when it comes from Natal Moon in 3rd, 6th and 11th houses Scorpio, Leo and Pisces has been explained in our article on dated 23/01/2020.

Sadesatti for Sagittarius, Capricorn and Aquarius  article has been explained in our article on 22/01/2020 inauspicious and Shani Dhayya for the natives born with Moon sign in Gemini and Libra inauspicious article on 21/01/2020.

 How Saturn give effect in:- Cancer, Virgo, Aries and Taurus sign.

From Cancer sign: - From 24/01/2020 till 7th February,2020 the Mars will have debilitated aspect on Cancer and hence it will give stress and anger.

For Cancer rashi the shani paya is Tram (Copper paya) which will give few opportunities of gains.

When Saturn is 7th from Cancer from Natal Moon it force the native to leave his home for long travelling and frequent travelling. His/her Spouse suffers from diseases. Death is possible, native suffer from HIV ,AIDS or hidden diseases, loss of money, mental disturbances and anxiety, troubles in travelling, possibilities of accident, loss of reputation, loss of job or service, loss in business or loss of profession, loss of wealth and savings.

There might be issues at work, related to partnership will pose a problem. There will no common opinion on certain topics.  Take care on works that require partnership.  There will be a sudden change in business. Economic status will remain stable. Marriage and functions are likely to happen at your home.

From Virgo sign:- Saturn will transit 5th from Natal Moon. On Virgo rashi the shani paya is Rajat ( Silver) and the native will get money gains, foreign travel, gains from land and vehicles.

 When Saturn is 5th from Virgo from Natal Moon unsuccessful planning and failure in planning, illusions in mind, in Hindi dimag main Bharam, cheating and deceiving from people, shortage of money and comforts of life, native spent time with bad women, suffer from the long diseases of his children, divergent and difference of opinion with spouse, recession in business, suffer from wind troubles, loss from Son.

There might be obstacles in the field of education. Students will have to make extra efforts in this duration. You might achieve higher positions. Matters related to kids will be your prime concern. You will have a nice time with friends and will meet old friends too.

From Aries sign:- When Saturn is 10th from Pisces from Natal Moon change in profession or service, face obstacles in service or profession, excess and high expenditure but with no success, native perform sin and Paap karm, suffer mentally, mansik yatnayen, live far from home, face opposition from masses, differences with spouse and face separations, suffer from chest related diseases.

Income will be normal. There might be a clash of opinions with close friends. Those working will face challenges. Your prime focus will be issues related to home and workplace. You might also have to travel due to some new work.

The aspect of Jupiter on Aries will give benefic results. In spite struggle the native will get sufficient money for living.

The paya of Saturn is Copper will give opportunities for new projects and shall make relations with high society people.

From Taurus  sign:- From 2nd February,2020 to 28th February,2020 Venus will remain exalted give strength,self motivation and encouragement.When Saturn is 9th from Taurus from Natal Moon increase of diseases and enemies, native move from religion and change the religion, religious travelling not fruitful, differences with near ,dear and brothers, less gain in business or reduction in business profits, obstacles, fear of false allegations.

Some tasks will be delayed due to sudden obstacles. Travelling will be on the cards. There will be a lot of expenses so think twice before you spend. There might be a confrontation with friends and family.

Native will face obstacles and hindrances in luck. Arguments with friends and close relatives.

The paya of Shani is Silver will give income for sufficient livings.

Parmod Kumar-Ex AGM Punjab National Bank

PK Astrocenter-Rajpura

A Banker turned Astrologer. I research and practice Astrology, Numerology, Palmistry and face readings (Psychic)-Parmod Kumar Known as PK Astrocenter.

For astrological remedies please email at pkastrocenter@gmail.com or post your query at http://pkastrocenter.com/horoscopeanalysis.You may join with me face book parmod kumar, Group Pk Astrocenter

Whatsapp/Viber  919953968188  and 7009270427- Emergency call 09988395578 Skype :-parmod kumar

[graciousguinevere-a-blog]

its four am i cant sleep so, now would be a great time to discuss death(s) and how much it(they) impact(s) guinevere. important plot thingies/headcanons abt my canon verses as well as modern verses, more specifically, my false.ttos verse. mentions of death, sickness, depression and such under the cut. do not proceed if you do not wish to read heavy-ish things.

so, it’s not really like ... not obvious. people die around gwen a lot and it like, really fucks with her and like, i could go on and on about how specific deaths of specific people have changed who gwen is as a person but i wanna pick a few out bc they’ve been on my mind a lot recently.

her mother: nOW, this is not a topic ever touched on in the show (at least not from my memory), nor is it really discussed in the fandom or among writers and i think it should be? i’m not speaking for everyone; this is just me and my specific version of gwen. in canon verses, i’ve always imagined gwen’s mother dies when gwen is a young child - four or five, and it’s her first real brush with death - her first real taste of what it’s like for the world to come to a screeching halt because someone you love is snatched from you. being young and not really understanding, gwen spends a lot of her childhood ‘angry’, if you will. you know typical childhood angst (ex: bring my mom back, this isn’t fair, i hate you dad cause you can’t bring mom back). in modern verses, though, it’s kind of different cause i kind of pegged that her mother dies in child birth and it’s a lot of my existence ended hers so maybe if my existence wasn’t a thing, she’d still be here.

her father: we all know, or now you know, that in the show, her father was wrongfully executed by uther for ‘practicing magic’ (this whole episode was bullshit and honestly, i should have just said no to the show from this point lmao), and for gwen, it’s really hard to come to terms with?  she can’t accept the fact that her father was killed for something damn near everyone should have know he could never do. gwen plays it off well in the show, but sometimes it comes through: her father’s death hardens her (mostly hardens her dislike of uther pendragon but that’s a different situation for a different day). she’s internally bitter and resentful, and can you really blame her? she fairs the same in modern verses, etc.  her father isn’t executed this time, but his death is sudden (i either said it was a stroke or some sort of heart failure. i have to think it over and do more research into the actual health issues themselves before i can for sure decide on one). gwen has a really time coping with his death and she kind of gets hard and bitter because its not fair for him to be taken from her. 

her brother: again, another unfair death that was magic related. bullshit tbh, but whatever we just going with show canon. even though by this point, gwen was like ... under morgana’s control (right? idk), her heart still aches. elyan is the last living relative she has left and to lose him? it’s devastating. and because i like to keep the same sort of trope and shit, and because im trying to tie it into the falsettos verse, his death is sudden again. a car accident and in this verse particularly gwen just can’t deal with it. its the reason she leaves england, why she runs away in the first place. she can’t come to grips that she’s lost everything - she doesn’t want to. and for a while, she doesn’t. she lives in this little fake bubble of reality, pretending she still has her father and brother and her heart isn’t broken in a million pieces.

yay, verse tie ins, right! right. moving on

whizzer: fuck man im sad just thinking about it. its terrifying cause, if we’re going along with the canon early 80s timeline of the show, no one knew what the fuck hiv/aids even was. he just .. got sick, then sicker and sicker until he just couldn’t hold on anymore. for gwen, this breaks any walls she’s built since elyans death. any healing, reconcile, regrowth, completely out of the window. it’s the first real breakdown gwen has about all the people she’s lost. sure, she loses composure when her father dies and when her brother dies - who wouldn’t? but reminders of that stack a top of all this? she crumbles. and for a while, she’s convinced she might cursed or something; why else would, literally everyone she loved just ... die? die for unknown, unseen, unfair reasons? 

marvin: spoiler,  ya boi gets it too. there are no happy endingsi n falsettos and if you didn’t know that, i am so sorry to bust your bubble. gwens break this time is even worse than it is with whizzer. of course time goes by; marvin doesn’t show he’s sick right away, but it’s borderline too late when he does and gwen can’t ??? cope with losing her best friend (if u didnt know gwen and marvin were best friends u have not been paying attention to my blog). a part of her is oddly glad; she’s not a whole firm believer in heaven, the afterlife and all that, but a part of her feels at ease that her two boys are somewhere together again, but that doesn’t physically change the crippling reality that they’re both ... gone. she’s not okay, and she’s not okay for a long time. who would be? how do you get over that? YOU DON’T. gwen kind of ... shuts herself down and shuts people down for a long while, especially new people. she can’t trust herself to get close to anyone else, she can’t afford to love anyone else because she’s so sure that death is just a common factor in her life - that everyone she’s destined to meet and love, she’s also destined to lose in a matter of time.

despite all of this though? gwen always finds a way to come back from these places, from bitter, hardened parts of herself and that’s really what i wanted to talk about? time and time again, gwen comes up with the short side of the stick so damn much (if there was a human embodiment of taking an L, gwen would probably be it more of the time), but she always manages to piece herself together again somehow and continue to be the kind spirited soul she is? gwen has lost so much, in any verse. her family, her marriage, her friends, but she’s still gwen after it’s all said and done. she’s still the momma hen type of figure, she’s still sweet, she’s still such a strong pillar of support when, 8/10, she has no reason to be. there were points in gwens life she had no reason to really go on, not that she wanted to commit suicide or anything, but she just felt like there was really no reason for to keep going - which... could kind of be like suicidal thoughts i suppose? let’s just say she didn’t want to keep living, but she had no desire to, personally, kill herself. even with all of that, she got her shit together and kept going. im just really in awe of how strong of a character this is. to endure so much, lose so many, and still be willing to go on, still be willing to love and cherish and support people.