#HI this got long so i will be posting it to ao3

[mrgoldmc26]

Wonyoung's Wild Night

Tags: Gangbang, blowbang, interracial sex, airtight, anal sex, dirty talk, lots of facials, honestly just Wonyoung getting passed around like a slut by 5 BBC's

Word Count: 10.1k

A/N: This was the first chapter of my K-Pop Sluts series that I have on AO3. I wrote it months ago, and as you are about to see, it has lots of pictures. I really like including pictures in my stories because I just think it gives a nice visualizer...plus, who doesn't like to look at Wonyoung? 

With that being said, I do realize that it's a little bit too many pictures...Like I said at the start, I wrote it months ago, and I have been including less and fewer pictures in my chapters (you can notice this on my Lisa chapter), but I didn't feel like removing any from this one because it's how I wrote it months ago. But yes, you will see fewer pictures in my chapters going forward. For crying out loud, I found out that the pic limit is 30 per post...I had 31 in my AO3 chapter, lmao.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter.

The following is a Fan Fiction and should be treated as such.

It was a dark, chilly night under the sky of San Francisco, California, with the moon dipping in and out of the clouds. Wonyoung, fresh off her concert with IVE in Oakland, was hoping to have a nice time at a party, alongside her friend, Steven. He was this friend, that she has been seeing for a while now, and has been inviting him for her shows, but she has really never done anything intimate with him, mainly because he was too shy, and always seemed to cut off any advances Wonyoung attempted on him.

She was hoping that it would all change tonight by getting him loose. They arrived at the compound, where the party was already in full swing. Loud music everywhere, people dancing and drinking, and having a good time.

"Gosh, these songs suck. They should be playing our songs. They are much better."

"I'm not sure your songs are appropriate for a party like this, Wony."

"Really? You are not taking my side, Steven?"

"I'm sorry. You're right. They should definitely be putting your songs."

"Good. Go fetch me a drink. And grab one for yourself too."

"Wony, I don't really like to drink alcohol. And I also don't think you should be drinking alcohol too. Something could happen. It's bad for your health."

"Are you actually fucking serious???"

"I'm sorry, but yes, Wony. An idol like you shouldn't be drinking alcohol."

"Listen to what I fucking told you, and go bring me a fucking drink. NOW!"

"And don't forget yours too, Steven...Ughhh. I'm going to sit down by the pool. Don't take too long. I'm thirsty."

"Yes, Wony. Is there anything you want, in particular?"

"Surprise me...for once in your life..."

Wonyoung walked towards the pool, and sat on a couch nearby. She looked in front and saw millions of city lights and the dark, cloudy sky just above them. She decided to step up her game, in order to finally bag Steven, and so she removed her jacket, exposing her skinny arms.

After a few minutes of waiting, Steven finally came back with the drinks.

"Ughhh, what took you so long?"

"I'm sorry, Wony. I couldn't really decide once I got there."

"Goshhhh, why do you apologize after everything I say."

"I'm so..." Steven was about to say, but a sharp look from Wonyoung stopped him midway. She took the drink from his hand and started sipping it away.

"You know, Wony...you shouldn't really be without your jacket on a cold night like this. You might get sick."

"Reallyyy??? Goshhh, stop being concerned for me all of the fucking time."

"I'm sorry, Wony. I can't help it." Steven said, making Wonyoung angry in the process.

"Also, people could look at you and take photos of you. You shouldn't let people see you like this...drinking and showing off your skin."

"What if I want them to see me like this? What if I want you to see me like this?"

"I...I don't really know what to say, Wony."

"That's your problem...you never know what to say."

"I think we should leave this place. I don't like it in here. It's also getting late."

"You can't actually be serious. We literally just arrived..."

"Yeah, but I'm kinda getting sleepy."

"That's it. I've had enough. You want to go? Go!"

"Wony...I...I'm sor.."

"Don't you fucking dare say you're sorry."

"Just leave alone, Steven. I don't really care anymore."

"But I'm your ride."

"I'll call an Uber. Stop fucking worrying about me all of the time."

"You should really stop swearing, Wony. People could catch you, and it would be all over the internet."

"Steven...honestly...go fuck yourself. Leave me alone."

"But..."

"GO AWAY!!!" Wonyoung loudly told him, making him slowly turn away, as he walked out of the compound and went into his car.

"Fucking dumbass...why do I have such a shitty taste in guys." She thought to herself.

Wonyoung put her hands around the side of her head and just stayed like that for minutes, looking down at the pool and the reflex of the moon on the water. She was almost ready to get up and leave when she was suddenly approached by a group of 5 black guys.

"Oh, great....just what I needed...let me guess...you are all fans and want my autograph. Did I get it right?"

"Oh, wait...maybe you all want a photo with me, so you can show it to all your friends. Is that it?"

"Damn Wonyoung...never would've guessed you were this bitchy. I thought you were more sweet and kind, but I guess we were all wrong. We are indeed all fans of you, but we didn't come here to ask you for anything."

"I...ughhhh...I've just had a rough couple of minutes."

"We saw what happened from a distance, and it looked like you were arguing with a guy. We just wanted to ask you if you are doing alright."

"Not really, to be honest." Wonyoung responded.

"Who was that guy anyway?"

"Steven. He's...was....was a friend. A lame friend that was simply a little bitch that never made a move on me."

"Really? I don't believe that. I bet you get hit everywhere you go."

"I do...but not by him...not once."

"Am I not attractive enough?"

"Of course you are, girl. You are the most beautiful woman on the planet."

"It was a rhetorical question, guys...of course I'm hot...I mean...look at me!!!"

"Steven is probably gay, or something like that." A dude said.

"Yeah...maybe. Fuckkkk. What a shity night." Wony said.

"Do you guys have any idea how hard it is to be an idol?"

"I barely get any chances to have fun, and the one time I finally can have some fun and maybe a little action, he acts like a fucking overprotecting wimp."

"I mean...the night is still young...you can still have some fun..." One of the guys said, with a smirk on his face. It was only at that point that Wonyoung started connecting the dots, and understood what they really wanted, and the real reason they were talking to her in the first place.

"Fun...you say?" Wonyoung asked, slightly tilting her head up with curiosity.

"Yes. You can have a great time with us."

"Yeah? What would you guys do to make sure I have some fun?" Wonyoung asked, as she put her hands on the thighs of the guys' sitting right next to her and slowly started caressing them.

"Well, we would definitely hit on you, unlike that other loser."

"I would love that. I love when guys hit on me. When they drool all over me, because they can't handle how hot I am."

"What else? What else would you do to me?" She asked, as she looked at them and their strong arms coming out of their shirts. They were all so hot, and they acted completely differently towards Wonyoung, than Steven did.

"We would make you feel so good. Like, no one has ever made you feel before."

"Oh...really? Do tell." Wonyoung said, as she kept massaging the guys' thighs and moving her hands closer and closer to their crotches.

"We would start by kissing you and touching your body, and then we would slowly remove your clothes." One of them said, as the two guys sitting next to her started touching her thighs.

"Hmmmm....and then?" Wonyound asked, biting her lips.

"Then we would put you on your knees, and feed you all of our cocks, until you choked on every single one of them." Another guy said, as Wonyoung felt his hands going up her dress, and touching her pussy over her panties.

"Oh, fuckkkk...continue please." She said, moaning at every word they said.

"After taking our cocks down your throat, we would take turns fucking every single one of your precious tight little holes, over and over again."

"I need that!...I need it so much! Keep going, daddy!" Wonyoung begged, as the words that they were saying were almost as pleasurable as the fingers that were now inside her.

"And finally we would cum all over that pretty face of yours."

"Oh my god, I want it so badly. I want all of your cum on my faceeeeee."

"Please fuck me. Right now!!!"

"Is that what you want, Wony?"

"Yes...I want all of you guys to be my daddy."

"We can be your daddy for the night, if you promise to be our little cumslut."

"I promise! I will be your little cumslut!!!"

"I'll be your personal cumdumpster."

"I just really want all of your cocks and all of your cum on my face."

"I can't believe an idol like you is this desperate for cocks."

"I'll gladly show you just how desperate I am, daddy. Show me the way to the bedroom."

The guy in front of her smiled, before picking her up from the couch and putting her on his shoulder, as he proceeded to walk inside the house, walking past several large crowds of people with Wonyoung on his shoulders, and the other 4 guys walking just behind them. Anyone could've so easily recognized Wonyoung, and everyone they walked past easily understood what was about to happen to Wonyoung.

As soon as they got upstairs and into a room, the guy carrying her threw Wonyoung onto the bed, and she quickly got on her knees and started taking off her clothes, until all she had left was her bra and her panties. The guys also started taking off their clothes, including their shirts and their pants.

"Take those pants off, daddies. I'm waiting for your cocks. Show me what you have in there." Wonyoung told them, as they removed the belts holding their pants, and then took them off. She was now facing their massive bulges in their underwear, and she was already licking her lips.

"Mmmm, I bet you guys have the biggest cocks I've ever seen."

"I don't think you're ready to see our sizes, Wony..."

"Probably not, but I really need it. I want it."

"I'm so fucking horny for your cocks."

She could see the five black guys staring at her, and their crotches were getting bigger and bigger, the more Wonyoung used her mouth and words to tease them.

The guys dropped their boxers, revealing their hard, big, veiny, throbbing, long black cocks, that made Wonyoung drool, as she stared at them with her mouth agape.

"You like what you see?"

"Uh huh." Wony said, unable to not only come up with something to say, but also unable to take her eyes away from their big black cocks.

"Do you want our cocks, baby?"

"Yes daddy! I want them all in my mouth."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! C'mon...give it to me!"

"Ok. But only if you beg for it."

"Please give me your cocks, daddy. I'll do anything for them." Wonyoung begged, as they hopped on the bed, and surrounded Wonyoung. Their massive, throbbing, veiny cocks just a few inches away from her face.

"Show us how desperate you are."

"Put them all on my face, and I'll show you how desperate I am for your black cocks."

"I want these massive black cocks all over my face."

The guys did what she asked for, and started rubbing their cocks all over Wonyoung's face. Rubbing their precum all over her cheeks, and their cocks over her lips. Wonyoung couldn't help but giggle, as the tips of their cocks touched her skin.

"Fuck yes...this is soooo hot. More...keep doing this." Wonyoung demanded, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue.

They did as she said, and continued smacking her face with their hard cocks. Slapping her with their cockheads and rubbing them over her lips.

"More, please! Rub your big dicks all over my face."

"Rub them harder. Make them leak precum all over my pretty face." Wony said, as she felt one guy rub his balls all over her lips and her nose.

"Yes, daddy...that's it. Use me like a slut. Like a worthless cumslut."

"That's exactly what you are. Nobody likes you for your singing or your dancing. They all like you because you look like a perfect doll."

"People only like you because you are hot. That's why all those fans scream for you."

"That's true. Everything you guys are saying is true. I would be nowhere if I didn't look like this."

"They wish they could be here, using your naked body for their pleasure, but instead we are the ones who get to do that."

"I bet none of them have bigger cocks than you guys, so I'm happy that you are the ones that will use my body tonight." Wony said, as she started kissing the tips of their black cocks, one by one, as she also used her hands to massage their balls.

"You want that, don't you, Wony?"

"Yessssss...I want to be used like a fuckdoll by your big black cocks."

"I'm the hottest female idol in the world, and I need to be treated like the hot slut I am."

"Tell us how much you want our big black cocks, and we will treat you like the naughty little slut you are."

"Yesssss, I want your cocks. I want them all. I want them in my mouth. In my pussy. In my ass. All over my face."

"Tell us, what a slut you are!!!" One guy, said, slapping her ass with immense strength, leaving a big red mark.

"OH MY GOD, FUCKKK...I'm a little slutty idol, daddy."

"I'm a dirty, desperate little slut for black cocks."

"My mouth is open. Please put your cocks inside my mouth, daddy." Wony said, opening her mouth as wide as she could, waiting for any black guy to slide his cock inside her mouth and down her throat.

One guy grabbed her by her hair, and started ramming his cock down her throat. Wonyoung could not believe the size of the cock that was in her mouth. Wony tried her best to fit all of his huge cock in her small mouth, whilst she reached behind her back and took off her bra.

"Damn, Wony. Those are some nice titties you have."

"I thought they would be smaller."

They weren't big or anything remotely close to that, but they were a pretty decent size, considering her body type.

Wony smiled with her lips still wrapped around a huge black cock, as she finally started using her hands to pleasure more guys at the same time. She put her hands around two cocks and started stroking them.

"Your hands are so tiny compared to my cock."

"Mmmm hmmm." Wony nodded, as she started deepthroating the first guy's dick.

"Oh fuckkkk. Damn. Your mouth feels so good." The guy groaned, as he kept shoving his dick down her throat.

"Fuck, daddy...your cock is so good." Wony said, when the guy eventually pulled his dick out of her mouth.

One guy put his hand on her chin and made her look up at him, before slapping her in the face with his dick, making her moan.

"Damn...you are such a naughty little slut, aren't you?"

"You want this dick, Wony? You wanna taste my cock?"

"I want your black cock inside my mouth, daddy. Let me taste it." Wony begged, and the guy slid his cock between her lips, until he was fully inside her mouth. He didn't stop until his entire black cock was deep down her throat, making her gag and cough.

"That's right, Wony. Deepthroat my cock, you fucking slut." He said, as he started furiously ramming his cock down her throat, making her spit saliva everywhere, even with her lips sealed tight around his dick.

"You want another one, Wony?" Another guy asked.

"Hmmm, hmmm" Wonyoung replied with her lips still around a thick, throbbing, black cock. He let her go after a couple more thrusts to the back of her mouth, and Wony got in a quick breather.

"Give me your cock, daddy. Let me taste it." She begged, before another cock was shoved down her throat.

"Fucckkk, I can't believe I'm having my cock sucked by Wonyoung."

"She's a really good cocksucking slut."

"You are, aren't you?"

"Hmmmm, hmmm." Wonyoung moaned in response.

"I'll bet a slutty bitch like you loves tasting black cock, don't you?"

"Yes, daddy. I love it."

"Good. Keep sucking it then, slut." He said, and Wony did just that, as she kept sucking every guy for a lengthy amount of time, before moving to the next big black cock that was put right in front of her pretty little face.

After every guy got their long turn with Wonyoung, the guys started taking quick turns with her mouth, sliding their big black cocks past Wonyoung's luscious lips, and fucking her tight, warm throat over and over again, for a couple of seconds, before swapping between themselves.

"You like that, Wony? You like being passed around like a slut?"

"Mmmm, hmmm. I love it. This is what I wanted. I love sucking your black cocks." Wonyoung said, looking at the guy who just had his dick in her mouth, as she gave his shaft a nice lick, before moving her lips on the side of his dick, and leaving a trail of saliva.

"Good. Now keep sucking them like the naughty little cumslut you are."

"Yes, daddy." Wonyoung said, as she proceeded to grab one of the cocks in front of her and started sucking it, bobbing her head up and down, while also moving her tongue around it.

"You look so hot with a cock in your mouth."

"Mmmm...it tastes so good." Wony said, as she started licking the tip, before going back down again.

"This is so hot. I love sucking big dicks." She said, in between sucks.

"You are doing a great job. Keep going, Wony."

"You guys have no idea how long it's been since I had cocks down my throat." She said, as stopped sucking his cock, and instead started stroking two dicks at the same time for a couple seconds, before moving on to the other guys' cocks, always trying to give the same amount of time to each one.

"A woman like me should be getting dicked on a daily basis, and not a single day should go by without having a cock in my mouth."

"Yeah? And what about the rest of your body?"

"It should be used as a toy for cocks. For the pleasure of the lucky guys I deem worthy of fucking me and my tight holes."

"And what about cum, Wony?"

"Oh my god, cum is like, my favourite thing in the whole world. I love feeling it inside me, and all over me."

"I need it. I crave it."

"If I could survive on cum, I would be the happiest girl in the world."

"My life would be so much better if I used cum as a replacement for my mascara."

"My face would look even prettier. Trust me, guys. I look amazing with cum on my face."

"Well, we'll see it later, won't we, Wony?"

"Of course, daddy. I can't wait to have all of your loads all over my face."

"Gosh, just thinking about it...it's making me so fucking wet. I need a cock inside me, right now!" Wonyoung said, as she stopped stroking their cocks for a moment, and quickly removed her panties and spread her legs, showing her perfect shaved pussy. She put two of her fingers on her slit and started rubbing it.

"That's right. Rub that tight little pussy for us."

Wonyoung put on an absolute show for the guys, as she moved her fingers around her pussy, spreading her lips open and letting the guys see the inside of her cunt, before she went back to playing with her clit, while also licking her lips as she couldn't stop staring at the 5 big black cocks in front of her, just hanging in the air. They looked so perfect and big, and Wonyoung tried to guess which one would be inside her first, which one would cause her to moan the loudest, and which one would give her the biggest load.

"Taste yourself, Wony."

"Mmmm...yes, daddy." She said, as she quickly removed the hand she was using to play with herself, and placed it in front of her mouth, as she started licking and sucking her own juices off her fingers.

"You really are a nasty little slut." One guy said.

"And sluts deserve to get fucked." Another one added.

"That's exactly what I want."

"I want to get fucked like the little slut I am."

"Yeah, Wony? How do you want it?"

"I want to get fucked on the bed, daddy. I want to get spitroasted."

"I want you guys to take turns and use me like your personal fuckdoll."

"And then I want you guys to fuck my pussy and ass at the same time, whilst someone is fucking my mouth."

"Anything else, princess?"

"Just daddy's cum, all over my face at the end." Wonyoung said, with a huge smile on her face.

"Alright, then. Let's get to it." One guy said, as he placed himself behind Wonyoung and immediately put his left hand on the back of her neck, pushing it down onto the mattress, alongside her head, as the other guys climbed off the bed and formed a line right in front of the edge of the bed, where her head was, and waited for their turn.

Wonyoung was on her knees, with her tits not only pressed against her knees, but also squished against the mattress, as both guys pressed their cocks against her holes.

"You ready, Wony?"

"Yes, daddy. Just feed me your cocks and pound me already." She said, before opening her mouth wide, as the guys didn't even waste one second, and pushed their cocks inside her mouth and her pussy, and started fucking her, not holding back at all.

"Oh fuckkkk...Wony..."

"Oh my fucking god...you guys need to try this pussy. She's so fucking tight." He moaned, as he kept pounding away at her.

"Really bro?" The guy fucking Wonyoung's mouth asked.

"Yes. It's incredible. She has the tightest pussy I have ever fucked." He said, before he started to fuck her much faster than before, as he felt his cock get squeezed by her pussy, which was dripping with juices.

Wonyoung kept moaning, even with a cock buried deep down her throat, as she felt her tight pussy get stretched by the girth and length of the dick, and her throat being filled by another huge dick.

"I bet this is what your fans want, isn't it? To fuck you however they want, and for you to be their perfect little slut."

"That's why they pay hundreds of dollars for a single concert ticket, just in the hope that somehow, someway, they get a chance to fuck you."

"Actually...no. All of your fans are shy, weak and pathetic, just like Steven. Your fans would probably rather see us destroy you and your tight holes with our big black cocks than them with their tiny dicks."

All Wonyoung could do, was stay there, in an uncomfortable, yet pleasurable position, taking their big black cocks over and over again, feeling her holes being used by the biggest cocks she had ever seen in her life.

"Fuck, I need to swap right now, or else I'm going to cum inside her pussy. This shit is way too fucking tight for my dick." He said, massively slowing down his thrusts so that he didn't blow his load so soon, but he still kept his cock inside, slowly pushing it back and forth, as he still wanted to feel her tight pussy, and the warmth that surrounded his cock.

"Damn, dude. Then I think I'll take her pussy next. Just let me fuck her mouth a little bit longer." One guy said, as he grabbed a fistful of her hair, and started furiously facefucking Wonyoung, not giving a single care in the world.

"Fuck, your mouth feels amazing, but I think it's time I stretch that sweet pussy of yours." He groaned, before slowly pulling his dick out and making his way around her, and towards her pussy. As soon as he got there, the guy that was fucking her pussy pulled out, but not before slapping her ass harshly, leaving yet another red mark on her cute little butt.

"Have fun. This pussy is fucking great." He said, as he joined the 3 other guys that were in front of Wony's face, going to the back of the line as he awaited his time to fuck her throat.

"Ahhhhh fuck. That was amazing, you guys."

"I loved having both your cocks sliding in and out of my mouth and my pussy."

"Can't wait for the rest of you guys." She said, licking her lips in anticipation, whilst looking at the massive black cock right in front of her face.

"C'mon. Put your dicks inside me already. I get cold when I don't have cocks inside me. I need them to warm me up." Wonyoung said, as the guy in front of her pressed his cocks against her lips, and she gladly opened her mouth and let him slip his dick inside her, and start fucking her mouth, while the guy behind her slammed his dick into her cunt, and started thrusting away, making Wonyoung moan around the dick in her mouth.

"I can't believe this is happening."

"Wonyoung is getting spitroasted by us and our big black cocks."

"FUCKING HELL...you were not kidding when you said her pussy was the tightest you had ever fucked." The guy behind her said, as he tried his best to keep thrusting his cock in and out, as his dick was being squeezed by her pussy.

"Fuck her harder. I want her to moan around my cock."

The guy behind her complied and started thrusting as hard and as fast as he could, feeling her tight pussy getting stretched and fucked, whilst also hearing her muffled moans around his friend's cock, as he fucked her mouth, going faster and deeper, with each passing second.

"Oh, fuckkkk...that's it, Wony. You look so fucking sexy, moaning with my cock in your mouth."

"I wanna hear how she moans when I fuck her as deep as I can go."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Just stop for a sec."

"Alright bro." He said, as he removed his cock from Wonyoung's mouth, and started stroking it in front of her face, whilst the guy behind her started ramming his cock as deep and as hard as he could, causing Wonyoung's moans to fill the room.

"Fuck...daddy...your cock is so fucking good inside me."

"Good girl. Take it. Take this fucking cock, you nasty little slut." He groaned, as he kept pounding her, his hips crashing into her ass, making it jiggle every time.

"Mmmm, that's right, daddy. I'm a nasty little slut for your cock."

"I'm a cumslut for all of your black cocks."

"Just keep fucking my tight little pussy, daddy."

"And you...I want you to slide that cock back inside my mouth. I want to slurp on it, until it's ready to go inside my pussy." Wonyoung said, before opening her mouth once again.

The guy in front of her slapped his cock on her tongue a couple of times, before pushing his dick past her lips, as Wony went right to work on his meaty cock, whilst his friend kept pounding her pussy with his cock.

"Ahhhhh fuckkk. So good."

"Your lips were made to be wrapped around my cock, Wony."

"Yes, they were. Your cock tastes so fucking good, daddy." Wonyoung said, whilst she stroked him for a couple of seconds, before she put his dick back in her mouth."

The guy put his hands on both sides of her face, and started facefucking her, his cock going in and out of her throat, as her mouth was basically a hole for him to fuck.

He then pinched her nose with his left hand, and used his right hand to hold her head, so that her head couldn't move, as he just started slamming his cock deep down her throat, going balls deep, and not stopping at all. Wony started struggling for air, but couldn't really move, and all she could feel was a cock lodged down her throat, and another one rapidly going in and out of her pussy.

After a couple of seconds Wonyoung started gagging, and the guy released his grip and let her go, as she took a couple of deep breaths.

"Ahhhh...ahhhh...do it...do it again, please. I want your cock deep down my throat again."

"I'm afraid if I do that again, I will cum down your throat, and if I remember correctly, you want my cum on your face, isn't that right?"

"Yes, daddy. I would love to swallow your load, but I do really want your cum on my face."

"That's what I thought. Well, I guess it's time for me to find out just how tight your pussy is."

"So tight. I want you to stretch it, daddy. Can you do that for me?" Wony asked, whilst biting her lip.

The guy didn't bother to respond, grinning instead as he made his way behind her, and waited for the guy that was fucking her pussy to stop and hop off the bed, giving him the "keys" to her tight little precious pussy.

"Beg for it, slut. Beg for my fucking cock, Wonyoung."

"Please, daddy. Please give me your cock."

"Give me your big black cock. I need it inside me."

"Stretch my tight little pussy, daddy."

He grinned once again, before he pushed his dick deep inside her, and started pounding away, fucking her tight pussy, making her scream in pleasure, as her eyes rolled in the back of her head, while her hands gripped the sheets as hard as she could, and the guys in front of her watched, and awaited their turn to not only fuck her mouth, but also her pussy.

"Daddy...ohhhh, yes...daddy...keep fucking me...your cock feels so good..." Wony moaned, whilst her breasts were being squished against the mattress, due to the force of the guy behind her, who kept ramming his cock deep and fast into her cunt.

"Ahhhhh...fuck...daddy...keep going. I'm so close."

"Yeah? You gonna cum for me, you filthy little slut?"

"Yessss, daddy. Keep fucking me, just like that. Make me cum all over your big black cock."

"Then cum, Wony. Cum on this big fucking cock."

"Ahhhhhh...oh fuuuckkk."

"Oh my fucking god...you're making me cum. I'm cumming, daddy..." Wony screamed, as she started shaking and squirming, whilst the guy kept pounding her, making her cum on his cock.

"Such a good girl, cumming on daddy's cock."

Wonyoung didn't even have time to recover or respond to him, because the guy in front of the line grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her forward, before pressing his dick against her lips and sliding it into her mouth.

"You like that, Wony? Being passed around all 5 of us?" He asked, as Wonyoung used her tongue to massage the underside of his shaft, whilst he kept slowly sliding it in and out of her throat.

"Yes, daddy. I love being a slut for all of your big black cocks." Wonyoung said in between sucks, as she felt the guy who had just given Wony her first orgasm of the night start slamming his cock once again into her wet, warm and tight pussy, making her moan even more, sending vibrations onto the cock in her mouth.

"You are so fucking pretty, Wony."

"So beautiful with my cock in your mouth."

"I know I look pretty with a dick in my mouth, but I also know I look even better when it's a long, hard black cock." Wonyoung said, before taking his dick deep in her mouth once again.

"Fuck...I love that dirty mouth of yours, Wony."

"Talk dirty to us, Wony."

"Tell us what a filthy little slut you are."

"Tell us how much you love getting fucked by our black cocks." He said, as Wonyoung let go of the dick, and gave him the nastiest, sexiest smile, ever.

"I love your black cocks. I'm addicted to them." Wonyoung said, as she started stroking his dick.

"I wish I could bring all of you to our tour, so that you guys could pass me around after each concert."

"I would love for you guys to fuck every single one of my holes after each concert and then dump your warm cum all over my body, my face and my tits." She said, squeezing her boobs with her arms.

"I would love if you guys fucked me just before a concert and for me to go out there and perform in front of thousands of fans with your cum dripping out of my pussy and my asshole."

"Yeah, I bet you would love that, wouldn't you?" He asked.

"Such a naughty little slut, you are." He added.

"I'm daddy's perfect slut."

"Gosh, keep stroking that cock, Wony, fuckkk...I can't wait to cum all over your face."

"It makes me so wet, just knowing that I'm about to be a cumdumpster for 5 huge black cocks. It turns me on so much."

"Fuckkk, Wony. You're the one who is turning me on, girl. I need to smash that pussy of yours right now."

"Hmmm...since you haven't been inside me yet, how about I let you fuck my ass instead?"

"Is it tighter?"

"Well, considering I have had 3 big black cocks stretching my pussy already, and 0 inside my ass, I would say so."

"I've never taken one so big in there, but I really want to try it, daddy. So please...put your cock in my ass, and fuck me as hard as you can."

"Alright girl. I'm going to destroy this little cute ass of yours." He said, reaching forward and smacking her ass, leaving another red mark on it.

"HEY? WHAT ABOUT ME, MAN? I HAVEN'T FUCKED YOU EITHER!" The guy right behind him yelled, as he joined him by his side, and now had Wonyoung right in front of him as well.

"That is right, you haven't." Wony said, as she reached out for both of their cocks and started stroking them.

"Like I said earlier, I want to get my ass and my pussy fucked at the same time, so how about I ride that cock of yours whilst he fucks my tiny little asshole?" She added, as she took his cock into her mouth, awaiting his answer.

"Oh fuck, girl...you don't have to ask me twice..." He moaned, letting Wonyoung suck his dick, whilst her hand was stroking the other, until she decided to switch and started sucking the other one.

"Hmmm, yummy. You two taste so good." Wonyoung said, licking her lips, before putting his cock in her mouth, and the other guy's cock in her hand, stroking him as fast as she could, whilst she bobbed her head up and down the cock in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it, tasting every inch of him.

"Ahhhh, fuckkkk...shit, Wony...you're too good at this."

"Mhmmm, I know." Wonyoung hummed, before deepthroating him and gagging around his cock for a couple of seconds, before releasing his dick, and stroking him, whilst she began deepthroating the other guy.

"Ohhhh shit, Wony. Just like that, girl. Just like that."

"Ohhhh fuckkk. I love going back and forth between your cocks."

"It feels...so...fucking...good. I love taking turns sucking both of them." She said, as she kept going back and forth, sucking and slurping on their cocks, and making the 2 guys moan in pleasure.

"I think they are ready to go inside my holes." Wony added, kissing both of their tips, before moving slightly backwards, so that one of the guys in front of her could lay down where she was previously.

He laid down, and Wonyoung got on top of him. She reached behind her and grabbed his dick, before guiding it towards her pussy. She then lowered her body, and his dick slid into her pussy, making her moan, whilst she slowly went down, and took all of his size into her cunt.

Wonyoung didn't even give a chance for the guy behind her to stick it in her ass, because she immediately started bouncing up and down on the dick inside her pussy, feeling it going deeper and deeper, and also brushing past her g spot, making her scream and moan like crazy.

"OH MY GOD, THAT FEELS SO GOOD. KEEP FUCKING ME, DADDY."

"I fucking love bouncing on your big black cock."

No words came out of his mouth, and instead he just reached his hands forward, and started playing with her tits, pinching her nipple and squeezing her soft breasts whilst she bounced up and down his shaft, the tip of his cock hitting the back of her wet pussy every time, stretching it even further, and causing her to scream and moan loudly, her cries of pleasure filling the room.

"Ayo...Wony...just stop for a sec. I want to put it in your ass." The other guy said.

"I'm sorry, daddy. I just got too excited. His cock is filling me so well, I just couldn't resist bouncing on it for a bit."

"It's alright...you're just a cumslut addicted to our cocks. I get it." He said, putting a hand on her face before kissing her luscious lips."

"I am, daddy. I'm so addicted to all of your cocks. I want them all."

"Beg for it, Wonyoung."

"Please, stick it in. Shove that big dick up my ass, daddy."

"I want you to destroy my ass, daddy. Please."

"Huuuuuh, boys...what do you say? I can't say no to our little slut, can't I?

"Fuck her ass, man."

"Fuck her as hard as you can."

"Make her our fucking anal slut."

He smiled, hearing the answers coming from his friends, before lining his cock with Wonyoung's tight little asshole, and slowly shoving his dick inside her.

"Ahhhh fuck. That feels soooo goooood." Wonyoung moaned, feeling both her holes being stuffed by their big dicks, whilst they were both inside her, as the one underneath her was also balls deep inside her pussy.

"You were not lying, Wony. This really is a tight little asshole."

"I need you to stretch it, please. I want it to be stretched as wide as possible."

"I can't wait for you to start fucking it."

"I want to be your anal slut, daddy."

"Fuck me hard, daddy. Pound my tight little asshole, please."

"Fuck, man. I don't know how tight that asshole is, but let me tell you something...this pussy is TIGHT! Didn't the three of them stretch it?" He said, trying his best to look backwards with Wony on top of him.

Wonyoung was so lost in the pleasure of having both of her holes stuffed at the same time, that she almost completely forgot about the three other guys that had already gotten their turns with not only her mouth, but also her pussy. She saw them slowly stroking their cocks, as they kept watching Wonyoung get pounded by their friends.

"C'mon guys...don't be shy. I know you're not shy...come here."

"I was starting to wonder if our little slut had forgotten about us, guys."

"Me? Never...I couldn't ever possibly forget about these big black cocks." She said, with a smile on her face, as she put her hands around two of their cocks and started stroking them.

"You guys like that? Like having your cocks stroked by me whilst watching your friends fuck me?"

"Yessss, baby. Fuck, your hands are so soft."

"Yeah, and the way you stroke them, it's fucking amazing."

"Keep talking dirty to us, Wony. Keep telling us what a slut you are."

"Ohhhh fuck. I am a slut. I'm a filthy fucking slut."

"I'm daddy's filthy little slut."

"Mmmmmm yeah, and this is exactly what filthy little sluts like me do. We take their daddy's big black cocks, and let them stretch our tight little holes, just like they are doing right now."

"And we like to get spitroasted, and double penetrated, and have their cum all over our faces, just like you guys will do with me, later." Wonyoung said, already fantasizing about having the guys' cum on her face.

"And you..." Wonyoung said, looking up to the right in front of her.

"I don't think I need to tell you what to do." She added, as she opened her mouth.

"No, you don't, girl." He said, as he slowly put his cock past her lips and gave full control to Wonyoung, letting her suck his dick at the pace she wanted.

The room was filled with moans and grunts from all the guys, as Wonyoung was pleasuring all 5 of them at the same time. The sounds of her cheeks getting clapped every time the guy behind her thrust his dick inside her ass, mixed with the sound of his friend's dick slamming in and out of her pussy, were not only echoing across the room, but that feeling, of their cocks going in and out of her holes was making Wonyoung moan loudly, which was obviously muffled, thanks to the cock in her mouth. All whilst she had her hands wrapped around the 2 last remaining cocks.

Wonyoung was impressed with herself. Not only from the way she was handling all 5 cocks at once, which was something completely new to her, but also how quickly she managed to turn around her horrible start to the night. She was almost laughing around the cock inside her throat, just thinking that had the night gone a different way, she would probably have her lips wrapped around Steven's tiny gay cock. But thankfully for her, it didn't. She was quite easily having the best night of her life, being passed around these 5 strong and hot black guys who were making her their personal cumslut.

"Fucking hell...will this pussy ever get a little bit more loose? Been fucking it for like 10 minutes now...I can't believe how tight you still are."

"Sorry, daddy. That's just how I was built..."

"I was made to take cocks, and I guess that, if you want your cock to feel less suffocated by my pussy, you're just gonna have to stretch me out."

"Fuck me harder, daddy. Make me take your big black cock."

The guy complied and started thrusting faster and harder into her, making her bounce on his cock, his pelvis smacking against her butt, her moans filling the room. Not wanting to be left behind, the guy fucking her ass also began going harder and deeper inside her, his hands tightly gripping her waist, as he was drilling her with his long hard dick.

"OH MY GOD...fuck me, daddies. Use me. Please, pound my holes harder." Wonyoung begged, as she started moving her hips, making sure to slam them backwards whenever a cock was going forward, thus meeting each other half-way and creating a much stronger impact.

"Just keep fucking me. I don't care how hard, just give it to me, daddy."

"You guys are so good. My holes are yours. Use them however you want."

"Do whatever you want with me. Just please make me cum again."

"Is that what our cumslut princess wants?"

"Yes, daddy. Make me cum on your big black cocks, ple..." Wony said, before being interrupted by a cock entering her mouth and her throat, making her gag around his length.

"Sorry, Wony...but your mouth is just too fucking sexy. I can't take it anymore."

Wonyoung just rolled her eyes back and smiled, before wrapping her tongue around his dick and bobbing her head up and down.

"You like that, baby? You like sucking daddy's big black dick, whilst your pussy and ass get destroyed?"

"Mhmm, hmmmm..." She hummed, nodding her head and sending vibrations throughout his body, making him groan and grip her hair tightly.

"I bet you can't go anywhere without dropping to your knees and sucking dicks. It's why you always have bruises on your knees, isn't it?"

"Hmmmm, hmmm..." Wony moaned around his dick, which was lodged in her throat.

"Whose dicks are you sucking, huh? Producers? Directors? Dancers? Sponsors? Fans? Which one is it, you fucking slut?" He asked, giving one final hard thrust to the back of her throat before releasing the grip on her head, letting her talk.

"All of the above, daddy. I suck any and every cock I come across."

"That's what I thought, you nasty fucking slut. How many of them have you sucked?"

"Too many to count, daddy. All you need to know is that your cocks are all way bigger than any of them." Wonyoung said, as she was still getting pounded as hard and fast as the 2 guys could, their cocks slamming in and out of her tight pussy and tight asshole, which were now stretched and loosened, allowing their dicks to slide in and out easily, but not any less pleasurable.

"You're such a good little whore for us, Wony. So good."

"Such a tight little body. So fuckable."

"Oh, yes...fuck yes...right there, guys. Don't stop. Give it to me harder."

Wony's eyes rolled up as she was being drilled from behind, her ass getting pounded by a massive cock, and her pussy getting fucked by a thick black cock.

"You guys are gonna make me cum again, soon."

"So fucking tight. Fuck, girl. You're squeezing my dick so hard, it's gonna be difficult for me not to cum inside you." The guy fucking her pussy said.

"I don't care. Fuck me however you want, but that load is ending on my face."

"Alright, Wony. Damn...such a spoiled little brat, aren't you?"

"Yes. I always get what I want, and right now, what I want is for you to keep fucking me until I cum, and then for you to cum on my face. Are we understood?" Wony asked, looking right into his eyes, with a very threatening look on her face. At least, the best one her cute, perfect face could make.

"Loud and clear, Wony. Now shut up and start bouncing on this cock." He replied, with a smirk on his face, as Wonyoung did exactly that, and started riding the guy, with the other still fucking her tight little ass. As her hands were free, she reached for the two cocks on either side of her and started jerking them off. She kept going at a fast pace, making sure their cocks were nice and ready for when their turn came to shoot their loads on her face.

Suddenly, the guy fucking her pussy started pinching her nipples, and before she could even react to it, she felt a hard cock slapping her across the face.

"Mmmmmm, oh my god, yes. Slap me, daddy. Hit me with your big fat black cock." She said, as he did just that, hitting her over and over again with his hard dick.

"You're not slapping me hard enough, daddy. Give it to me hard. Show me what a filthy fucking slut I am."

"Hit me like the naughty whore I am." Wony begged, before opening her mouth and sticking her tongue out, just as the guy's cock hit her in the face once more.

"Oh, shit...that's it. Right there, daddy. That's how you slap a bitch. Give it to me again. Hit me harder."

Wony's cheek stung after being hit, but that only made her hornier. The guy in front of her slapped her with his cock another couple of times, before he grabbed her chin and shoved his dick past her lips. Wonyoung was still being drilled from behind, whilst she was now choking on the guy's cock, as he was fucking her throat at a fast pace.

She had never done anything remotely close to what she was currently doing. It was the most intense and crazy thing she had ever done. The fact that she was letting herself be used and dominated by 5 big black guys, and letting them use her body as their personal sex doll, was not only turning her on, but making her feel more confident than ever. The way they were calling her names and degrading her was driving her wild, and she could feel herself getting closer and closer to another orgasm, with their huge dicks going in and out of her body.

It was too much pleasure to handle all at the same time for Wonyoung, and so she closed her eyes, and let herself go, cumming on the guys' dicks for the second time that night.

"Ah, she's cumming on my dick. I can feel her pussy clenching around my cock."

"That's it, Wony...keep cumming for us, baby."

"She's not the only one. Fuck, I'm close." The guy with fucking her mouth said, as he released the grip he had on her head, and started furiously stroking his cock right in front of her face.

"Oh fuck...daddy, yessss. Give me your cum."

"Paint my face, please!!!"

"Cum all over my face, daddy."

"Fuckkk, take it, Wony. Take all my fucking cum." He said, as Wonyoung stuck her tongue out, and felt multiple ropes of cum land across her face.

"Ahhhhh, yessss. Keep cumming on my face." Wony said, he shot the last droplets of cum towards her face, with the majority landing on her tongue.

"So fucking good...I love it. I want more of your delicious cum on my face, though."

"We will all give it to you, slut. You don't have to worry about it." The guy who had just cum all over her face said, before grabbing both of her hands, and pulling her off the dicks that were inside her holes.

"Damn, look at that gape. Come take a look at this." One guy said, appreciating the work he had done on Wony's ass.

"Now that's a nice little asshole. So wide open. Good job, man. I also did a great number on her pussy."

The guy put Wonyoung on her knees in front of him and the 2 guys that were already jerking off, and they were shortly joined by the 2 guys that had just fucked Wony's tight holes, as these 2 began stroking their shafts.

"Hmmm, keep stroking those big black cocks, boys." Wony said, looking towards the 5 of them, with a huge smile on her face, and her eyes rolling back, thanks to the feeling of having cum dripping down her gorgeous face.

"1 down, 4 to go, Wony. Whose cum do you want next?"

"Does it matter? I'm gonna end up taking all 5 loads on my face either way, so just come here and shoot your cum on my face, and make my pretty little face even prettier."

"Oh fuck, Wony...you're such a fucking cumslut for us, aren't you?" One of them said, stepping closer to Wonyoung, as he kept stroking his cock.

"Hmmmmm, yes. A cumslut for big black cocks and loads."

"Stroke that cock faster, daddy. Stroke it until you cum all over my face."

"Beg for it, Wonyoung. Beg for my fucking cum."

"Please, daddy. Give me your cum. Please cum on my pretty little face, daddy."

"Shoot your cum all over my face. I need it so badly!"

"I want to be drenched in all of daddy's cum."

"Fuck, Wony. Stop talking, and open your mouth." He said, as he grabbed Wony's head, and pulled her in, before pushing his cock down her throat and fucking her mouth for a good amount of time.

Wonyoung gagged on his cock, before he pulled it out, only to start jerking himself off once more, right in front of her face.

"You like being a good little whore for us, huh? You liked having us pass you around and use you as a fucktoy, didn't you?"

"Yes, daddy. I loved being used like a cumslut by you. By all of you."

"Wony....fuck, I'm gonna cum...I'm gonna fucking cum...oh, fuck, I'm cumming!!!" He said, just before he started shooting his cum all over Wonyoung's face, covering her skin with white streaks of his thick load.

"Thank you, daddy. Mmmm, that feels so good. I love being covered in your warm cum."

"So fucking sexy." The guy said, as he was now slowly stroking his cock, with the tip barely touching Wonyoung's face, the excess amount of cum slowly falling out of his dick, and on Wonyoung's lips and chin.

"C'mon...who's next? Who's painting my face with their delicious cum next?"

"Me, bitch. I'm so fucking close, slut." One guy said, as he stepped closer and started jerking off his hard cock right in front of her, as the other 2 were doing the same.

"C'mon...cum on my face, daddy. Let me have your cum, please."

"I need the cum that comes out of that big black cock all over my pretty little face, daddy."

"I want to be covered in cum!!!" Wony begged, before she quickly opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out, after she saw the first ropes of cum flying towards her face, catching her by surprise.

"Take my fucking cum, you cumslut."

"Yes, daddy. Keep cumming all over my face." Wony said, closing her eyes as the cum kept flying towards her, landing on her lips and mouth, some even hitting her eyelids, nose and forehead.

Wonyoung was almost completely covered in cum at this point, with only several small spots left to be filled. She grabbed the last 2 remaining cocks and started stroking them off as fast as she could.

"I'm so close, baby. Fuckkkk, keep going, Wony."

"Stroke those cocks for us, Wony."

"I'm gonna stroke them so well, until they explode all over me."

"You're doing such a great job, Wony."

"Thank you, daddy. I'm gonna milk these cocks dry, and make them cum all over me."

"Do it, baby. Please."

"I wanna see your cute face covered in my cum, baby."

"Yes, please. Cum all over my face, daddy."

"Fuck me, I can't hold it anymore. Close your eyes, Wonyoung. I'm gonna cum."

"Yesssssssssss, shower me with your warm cum!!!" She said, feeling the first few droplets of cum falling on her face, as the guy kept shooting his load all over her face, giving her multiple layers of cum. Wonyoung had so much cum on her face, that it was mostly dripping down her chin and falling on her tits and stomach.

"Oh, fuck me. That feels so good, daddy. I love it."

"Thank you, daddy. Your cum is so warm and sticky. It feels so good on my skin."

"Your welcome, slut." He said, slapping his cock on her tongue, before walking backwards a bit, leaving Wonyoung alone with the last guy.

"Well, well, well...looks like it's just the two of us..."

"You look so pretty with our cum all over you."

"Thanks, daddy. Now I think I deserve another taste of this thick black cock." She said, wrapping her lips around the tip of his dick and sucking on it, while both her hands were working the rest of his long shaft.

"Mmmmmm, you guys are all so big. And you taste so good. I bet I could suck you guys for hours, without getting bored."

"Yeah? I'm sure you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Hmmmmm, yeah...I would even let you cum inside me."

"You're so fucking sexy, Wony. Such a fucking slut."

"Yes, I'm a slut. Your personal little cumdumpster." Wony replied, as she started rubbing her clit with her left hand.

"You like watching me finger my pussy whilst I jerk your big black cock, daddy?"

"Yes, Wony. I love it."

"Then give me your warm, delicious cum."

"Give it to me, daddy. Spray that thick white cum all over me."

"I've been such a good slut for you guys...I deserve one final big load of cum all over my face."

"Fuckkk me, Wony...I'm gonna cum soon. Keep going, girl." He said, as he took his cock of her hand and aimed his cock directly in front of her face, just before he started stroking his shaft, his hand moving incredibly fast, trying to reach his orgasm as quickly as possible.

"Yes, daddy. Keep jerking your big cock and cum for me. I want it, please."

"Stroke it faster, daddy."

"I love watching you stroke your big cock back and forth for me."

"Paint my face, daddy."

"I want to be covered in your cum."

"Don't you want to cum all over my face? I know you want to..."

"Keep stroking that hard cock for me, daddy."

"C'mon daddy. Cum for me. Give me your cum. Make me your cumslut." Wonyoung said, as she saw the guy's legs twitching and his knees weakening.

"Fuuuuckkk, Wony...here it comes...I'm cumming!!!" He said, just as Wonyoung opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out, hoping she would be able to catch at least a few drops of cum, before he began shooting multiple ropes of cum all over her, giving Wonyoung the thickest load she had received so far, making sure to cover any spots on her face that hadn't already been covered.

"Oh god...fuck...thank you, daddy. Mmmmm, so yummy. I love having all of your delicious cum on my face."

Wonyoung's face was a complete mess. She had, easily, two or three layers of cum, coating her entire face, and she absolutely loved it. Her hair was all messed up, and the room reeked of sex.

Wonyoung licked her cum covered lips and tasted the cum that guys' had shot on her mouth, before she brought her hands towards her face and wiped off the cum that was on her eyelids and nose, licking her fingers and moaning at the taste of the thick cum, before she got back on her feet.

"Well...thank you guys. This was so much fun."

"Yeah? Did you enjoy it?" One of them asked, knowing full well what her answer was going to be.

"Are you kidding me? Of course, I enjoyed it. You have no idea how badly I needed this tonight."

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it, because we enjoyed it too. It's not often that you get the chance to fuck one of the hottest girls in the K-pop industry."

"The...THE hottest girl in the K-pop industry." Wonyoung corrected him, before scooping some more cum off her face and swallowing it.

"Well...we have to go now. The shower is right down the hallway, to the left."

"Is there anything else you need before we go?"

"Yes. Could you guys give me your contacts? I really want to do this again next time I'm in town."

"Sure. Of course, you can." One of them said, writing his number on a piece of paper and handing it to her.

"Thank you."

"We will leave you to it. See you soon, hopefully."

"Bye, guys."

"See ya, Wony."

They all walked out the door and left the room, leaving Wonyoung alone. She sat down, with her back against the bed, reflecting on everything that had happened tonight, from being annoyed by Steven's wimpy behaviour, to being passed around 5 black guys, and getting her holes destroyed by their big black cocks.

It was the first time Wonyoung had ever done something as crazy as this, and she couldn't wait for the next time she would be able to do it. Eventually, she made her way towards the shower, making sure nobody saw her through the hallway.

After cleaning herself, and washing off all the cum that was left on her skin, she got dressed and made her way outside, calling an Uber. Once she was back at the hotel room where she was staying, she was met by all 5 of her bandmates.

"Wonyoung.....where were you, girl??? We were all worried about you. We tried calling you time and time again, but you just didn't pick up the phone. What happened?" Yujin asked.

"Oh, nothing...I was just exploring the city with Steven, and lost track of the time."

"Gosh, girl...you could've said something, though." Gaeul said.

"I'm sorry. You're right."

"So...did you and Steven finally get laid?" Leeseo asked, and Wonyoung was unable to hide her smile.

"Oh, if only they knew..." She thought to herself.

"Look girls...I appreciate your concern over me, but I'm here now, and I'm way too tired to talk right now, so goodnight." Wonyoung said, as she made her way towards her bed and laid down, falling asleep almost immediately.

[bluemusickid]

ᥫ᭡. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚In The Key of Sin ᥫ᭡. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚

🎀Pairing🎀: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader, Joel Miller x Original Character

🎀A/N🎀: Okkkkk so I had this teeeensy idea brewing since quite some time. It's a bit different from what I normally write, I shall admit. But idk, it's been at the back of my mind since a looooong time. Now this may be a bit OOC for the JM we love and cherish, both HBO and Game versions. But oh well, when my muse strikes, she does so with a vengeance. Also, special thanks to @slimybeth69 , I got this idea after I read a certain chapter of Que Sera Sera (which is an AMAZING story and omfg you guys need to read it LIKE NOW)

🎀Warnings🎀: smut, nsfw, 18+, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex (don't be silly wrap your willy), slightt infidelity (yea ik but trust the process), explicit sex, degradation, (mild) voyeurism, breeding kink, minors DNI.

18+ blog, Minors not welcome, you are responsible for your own media consumption. Not beta'ed, any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise are all mine. I post my stuff only on Tumblr and AO3, and occasionally Wattpad. I do not give anyone permission to reproduce, copy or translate my work in any form of media, including but not limited to AI chatbots. If you are found doing so, trust me, I will put my law degree to good use. Likes are welcome, reblogs are much appreciated!

Tiring. That was all that you could describe this day as. Work had been hectic, challenging and had pushed you to the limits of your sanity. All you wanted to do was kick off your shoes, maybe have a beer or two, and snuggle with your husband, watching trashy reality TV; listening to him grumble about how stupid everyone in said show was.

With that thought perking you up a little, you walked into your house, your calves killing you. Surely the person who invented heels is burning in hell right now; you thought to yourself. Dropping your bag unceremoniously on the couch, you took off your shoes and your jacket, making your way to the refrigerator as you pulled out a can of beer, the chilled beverage sliding down your throat, calming down your nerves. Perfect. Just as you were about to take another sip, you heard a muffled groan. Weird. Chalking it up to the random noises old houses often made, you shrugged it off.

But then it happened again. As you stood there, you heard a moan again, loud and clear this time. Hmm, that's strange. Joel said he wouldn't be home this early. Maybe it was the wind or a raccoon or something.

You were about to call out his name when you heard a loud whimper, and the porniest noise you had ever heard. Intrigued, you slowly made your way to your bedroom, ensuring that you made no noise; your form shaking as you saw the door ajar.

Heart racing, you snuck towards the door, till what you had heard finally had visual backing. And there you saw something. Something which would have made a normal person's heart drop into their stomach and their palms to become sweaty. Instead, you felt a flutter twist throughout your body.

You saw a very naked woman on her back, writhing and undulating on the bed, as he, your man, ate her out, and rather voraciously at that. The askew bedspread, the clothes strewn about, the whole bedroom was a damn mess; but all your brain could register was that he ate pussy like a god, hearing her wails reverberate through your marital room.

"Yes, yes...i'm almost there!" she whined, her hips moving against his face. You could see him grinding lightly against the bed, his tongue making the girl grab the bedspread tightly between her fingers. It made your toes curl, a tingle passing through your scalp and all throughout your body.

"'S right, slut. Come on my face. Let me feel that cunt squeeze my damn fingers." Joel grunted, the sound of his sucking breaking the silence of the room.

The next moment, big-tits-long-hair screamed as she thrust her hips up against his face, holding him to her mound, curling her fingers and grasping his hair. He moaned as he held her legs up, his mouth relentlessly licking at her.

You closed your eyes as you remembered how his moan felt against your centre, your panties now drenched. Softly unbuttoning your jeans, you reached inside, touching yourself over your underwear.

This feels so wrong, and yet...

Her squeal made you open your eyes, as you saw Joel roughly flip her onto her hands and knees. You nearly moaned out loud, but bit your lip in the nick of time. He was facing opposite the door and hadn't seemed to notice your presence yet, which you were thankful for.

You saw him, Joel; your Joel, eat her out from behind, as he slowly jerked himself off, no doubt trying to stave off his orgasm.

"What do you want, slut?" he drawled, his hand working himself, slowly.

She said nothing, whimpering as she pushed her hips backwards, towards him. Smacking her on her ass, he growled, "Beg for it."

You swore under your breath, his husky command bringing you to the brink. You watched as she whined out breathily, "Please give me your cock, Mr. Miller. I need it inside me."

You bit your thumb as you watched him rip a foil packet and unroll a condom before thrusting inside her snatch in one move, burying himself to the hilt. She squealed, rather loudly, the sudden intrusion causing her some pain.

"Lemme hear you, lil' girl. Need you to scream loudly 'til the neighbours hear." He grunted through clenched teeth, his hips still flush against her ass.

You watched, transfixed, as he lightly began to circle her clit. Sex with Joel had always been mindblowingly hot, but now watching it, as a third person? It was even better than watching porn.

You watched as he jackhammered her cunt, roughly pulling on her wrists, to go even deeper. She wailed, her thighs trembling as she struggled to hold herself upright. You gasped, watching him push her into prone position, his thrusts never faltering.

This was wrong. It was transgressive. But oh god...why was it so hot? Why did it feel like YOU were the intruder? A sudden grunt broke you out of your reverie as you watched Joel manhandle her to his liking.

You watched the love of your life pound into her with such vigour you feared the bed would break.

"Ohh..ohhhh...god....i'm....cumming..." you heard her keening, her hands searching for something, anything to hold on to as Joel wrecked her, his hips faltering as he too, neared his end.

"Yeah...fuck.....'s it. Come on my cock, want t' feel you gushing around me.." he grunted, yanking on her arm to haul her up on her knees, fucking her with abandon. You doubled your efforts, circling your clit as you slipped a finger inside, muffling your groans as you could feel yourself inch closer and closer to your climax; your pussy getting wetter by the minute.

Her wails, her loud screams, enough to wake the dead resonated through the house. You were half afraid that Mrs. Davis next door would think there was someone being murdered.

You could feel your walls clench around nothing as you saw Joel pull out of her, jerking himself off and groaning as he finished all over her round ass, his hips shunting as he milked out every drop of his spend on her perky butt.

Breaking out of your horny haze, you decided that you'd had enough. You needed to leave before either one of them caught you. Rebuttoning your pants, you quickly exited the house, going for a small walk around the block to clear your mind.

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

Almost an hour had passed since the "incident". You had come back home, thankfully, after the girl had left, and had busied yourself with preparing dinner. As you were slicing the vegetables, you felt his arms circling around your waist, his breath tickling your ear as he slowly ground his growing erection against your hips. Wordlessly, you turned around as he weaved his fingers through yours, the slight pressure a welcome distraction as he pulled you in the direction of your bedroom, seating you on the very bed where he had been with another woman not too long ago.

"So, you were watching." he said, his Southern drawl thicker than usual.

You hesitated for a bit, before nodding.

He sniffled, nodding slightly as he ran his fingers through his beard thoughtfully.

"Was it up to the mark?" he asked, a little shyly, if you could decipher his tone correctly.

Turning your chin up, you looked into his eyes, your lips pursing. Your mouth upturned into a smirk as you looked at the ground with your eyes, your intentions abundantly clear.

He immediately dropped to his knees, between your legs; awaiting your words with bated breath. It turned you on to see him like this; it was always hot when he took charge but it was even hotter when you took charge, which was a rare but delicious occurrence.

"Oh baby." you smirked, as you took his chin between your fingers, slowly caressing his beard with your thumb. "It was so, so good. I nearly lost control and joined you both."

You felt his sigh of relief ghost over your drenched panties, his fingers tightening on your thighs as he looked up, his big brown eyes reflecting his solace.

"So was it a good early birthday present?" he bashfully whispered, his fingers lightly caressing your clit through your panties, his jeans getting tighter by the minute.

Grinning, you ran your fingers through his gorgeous mess of curls, scratching his beard lightly.

"It was amazing. I was a bit skeptical at first, but that was the hottest thing I've ever seen. It was like a porno, except more personal; like it was just made for me." you moaned, as you felt his finger nudge your panties to the side and lightly caress your wet folds.

"What else, baby?" he growled, his fingers becoming more insistent as he plunged a finger inside you, his thumb caressing your swollen nub.

You mewled, dropping down on the bed as you felt your walls clench around him; your orgasm hitting you like a ton of bricks. You didn't quite catch what he said to you, trying to focus on his movements.

As you caught your breath, you propped yourself up on your elbows, watching your husband undress with ill concealed lust. He caught your heated look, smirking as he pulled off his boxers, crawling over to you on the bed.

"You didn't answer my question, sweetheart." he drawled lazily, his tongue circling your nipple.

You writhed under him, struggling to answer him. "Are you fishing for compliments right NOW, Miller?" you murmured dryly, your fingers making their way to his hard member.

Joel grinned as he took himself in hand, slowly but firmly pushing inside you, pressing his lips to yours as he swallowed your moan. Fully seated inside you, he waited a moment before pulling out and thrusting back in, a gasp being punched out of you.

He began moving faster, feeling your silky walls encase him tightly as he picked up his speed; your breathy moans and gasps adding to the symphony of your mingled breaths. He looked into your eyes lovingly entwining his fingers with yours.

It was like some unintentional barriers had been broken that night, and a new chapter of your married life had begun. If you thought you couldn't trust Joel more, you were wrong. You trusted him more than anything now and this rendezvous had only strengthened in your mind what you knew all along in your heart; that Joel Miller would do ANYTHING for you, no questions asked.

"Baby?" you gulped, struggling to keep your climax at bay as he pounded you into the mattress.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I want you to come inside me. Put a baby in me, Joel."

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EEEEEEK. I'm going to hide in my corner; I know this isn't a kink many share but oh well, i do (sometimes) and just needed to get it out of my system. Come yell at me or cackle with me in my inbox, feedback is always appreciated!!!!

Xoxox Lexi

[short-honey-badger]

So. I think it's time that I buckle down and start a nice, long fic for good ole Shamrock. I'm planning for something full of angst and hurt comfort. Some character introspection for Sham, too. Go over his daddy issues and his past a little bit. *i know that we hardly know this man, but like. I can't help myself. So im sure his past won't be anywhere connected to what we learn in the Manga. But like. It's fanfic, so we're all delulu here anyway.* Anyways! I've got the barebones of it written down in my handy dandy notebook, but I wanted to post a little beginning snippet! Please enjoy!

What is loyalty if it means nothing in the end?

Pairings! Shanks x Female Reader and eventual Shanks x Female Reader x Figarland Shamrock

Warnings! *blood and torture* more tags to come!

Pain explodes across his back, the cat o nine tails striking him once more. He grits his teeth against it, unwilling to make any kind of noise, unwilling to give his father an ounce of satisfaction. His knees ached, his wrists chaffing against the thick, steel woven cables that kept them lashed together. Shamrock has been kneeling against the stone floor for hours, stripped of all of his gear, his uniform, down to nothing but basic, common clothes that a slave would wear.

He jerks again when the whip strikes down, slicing into his flesh and sending rivets of dark blood sliding down his back. It drips down to join the slowly growing puddle beneath him, and Shamrock forces himself not to look away from it.

The redhead had awoken like this, lashed hands tied together and chained to a single metal pole in the middle of the stone room. He knew where he was. He himself had dragged more than one insolent pirate inside this room and stripped them bare, torturing them for information. Starved and beaten, they would usually break within a week. How he had not awoken, the holy knight did not know, but he was here now and at his father’s mercy.

Link to AO3 -> HERE

@mit-suri @sanjisleggy @nocturnalrorobin @mfreedomstuff @sordidmusings

[heyimkana]

Desiderium - Chapter 1

Pairing: Yuuta Okkotsu X Female Reader X Satoru Gojo Genre: Reincarnation AU, Marriage AU, Fluff, Smut, Slow Burn Summary: Set in Tokyo, Japan, you and Yuuta were past lovers separated by the cruel hands of fate. That same fate brought you to him again a century later, but while you hold no memories of him or the beautiful life you had shared with him in the past, Yuuta remembers everything. He's waited forever to see you again, yearning for your love, not knowing that you already belong to someone else. Word Count: 15K+ Content Warnings: None for this one, but there will be plenty of smutty scenes starting from chapter 4. Notes: Yuuta, Reader, and Satoru are the same age, all in their late twenties. Satoru has his Hidden Inventory personality here, so he might come off as brash and slightly immature. Reader doesn't have a name but is written with she/her pronouns. She has no physical description other than she has hair long enough to be tied up. She does have her own hobbies and personality traits, all necessary for the plot.

New chapter will be posted every 1-2 weeks. Read it on AO3 here.

Written as a birthday gift for my wife Aleks @princess-okkotsu Art drawn by @alwhmd_ on Twitter (commission)

Yuuta Okkotsu is a mystery, and at this moment, as she meets him for the first time in a room filled with papers and ink and comforting silence, he intrigues her more than any lines in her favorite poetry. 

It’s not love at first sight, of that she is sure. She’s experienced that many years ago, or so she believes, with Satoru—the lover with whom she’s shared frantic kisses and burning touches in the last six years. It doesn’t feel the same with Yuuta right now, not quite. It is something more intense, something she cannot yet fathom, something she wishes she understood.

The second their eyes are locked on each other, it’s like she’s electrocuted, her body freezing at the sensation. 

“Oh, sorry,” she says, her voice sounding like she hasn’t spoken in years. A tiny red spot begins to form on his pale skin, where his chin made contact with her head earlier. “I was reaching out for a book. I didn’t see you there.”

The man, young enough to be around her age with a gaze softer than most, has an expression of a heartbroken man. He looks at her, pain fleeting across his face. 

His eyes… They remind her of the ocean before the storm. 

It’s not the color as they resemble more of a sapphire, like the freshly bloomed delphiniums after the rain. No, it’s the feeling, the way they glimmer under the soft evening light, calm and steady, but in a way, it emits sadness. Yearning. Heartbreak. The kind that makes him feel like he had been crushed, trapped inside a hurricane for so long, he was about to fade into the void. But there’s also hope beneath it, as if he was desperately looking for something, and he’s just a moment away from attaining it. Something tugs upon her heartstrings as he peers into her eyes, full of depths and secrets she longs to unveil. 

He looks like he’s about to cry, she thinks. There are no tears in sight, no quiver in his lips, and yet, to her…

“Are you… all right?” 

The man smiles ever so softly at her question, seemingly too kind to be genuinely coming from the heart, but she believes it. The quiet agony in his eyes has not yet dissipated, but he grows excellent at wearing his mask. 

“Yes, I’m fine.” His voice is rich and soft, breathy and tender when he speaks. “Are you?”

“Not my first time accidentally hitting someone from not paying attention to my surroundings, so yes,” she chuckles. Her pretty sounds stun him. The yearning he’s been trying to conceal shows vividly for a split second. It leaves her confused, worried that he got upset by her actions. “Again, sorry.”

“No, please don’t apologize. It was my fault. I should’ve kept my distance.”

She’s sure her eyes have never met him. Her mind doesn’t remember him. Her ears don’t recognize his voice, but she swears she’s seen him before, so much that it feels like he becomes gravity, drawing her to him.

She wants to reach out to him. Wants to know why he looks like he’s seconds away from breaking apart. Wants to ask him whether she’s said too much or too little. But he’s nothing but a stranger, and she doesn’t wish to step out of the line. “Were you also looking for a book?”

“Yes, umm…” He’s tall, taller than she’d expect someone who exudes such awkwardness would be. Compared to other men, he has a youthful look, but she has a hunch that he’s around her age, most likely in his late twenties. He points his finger toward a book on the shelf beside her. “That one.”

She follows his direction, smiling when she reads the title on its spine. “No wonder we bumped heads. I was aiming for the same book.”

“Oh, then, it’s fine,” he hurriedly says, pushing the book back toward her when she tries to hand it over. “You can take it.”

“No, please, go ahead. I’ve read this too many times already.”

“Me too, so—”

“I insist.” She presses the book to his chest, looking up at him. 

He looms before her, standing possibly over 180 centimeters tall that she has to tilt her head up to match his line of vision. She catches a whiff of his scent, the smell of soap and aftershave, thinly layered by cologne. Modest, pleasant, just like him as a whole. 

Despite the slight dark circles swelling under his eyes, he’s a handsome man with a face framed by strong jawlines, a sharp nose, and thick, silky black hair parted on the side. The ends of his strands were long enough to brush against the collar of his ivory turtle neck sweater. His brown coat compliments his pallid skin perfectly, and she can’t help but wonder whether his shoulders are just as broad underneath it. An argent necklace with a ring as his pendant dangles just a few inches above his heart, glinting in the same way as his silver watch under the fluorescent light of the room. When his lips curve up, his eyes do the opposite, drooping in a way that makes him seem younger, which leaves her confused as he also gives off the feeling that he might be older than he appears. 

What a beautiful person, a thought runs through her mind, one that she hastily dismisses before it reaches her tongue. “Take it as a form of my apology for bruising your chin,” she says with a slight grin.

His eyes widen just for a split second before a soft chuckle reverberates from his chest. When he speaks again, it’s almost like a whisper—like a secret never meant to be told, “I can never win against you, can I?”

She barely catches his words. “Sorry, what?”

“Nothing.” He clears his throat, tucking his chin to hide his eyes. “I, uhh… I was about to borrow this and grab some coffee. Would you care to join me? I’d love to talk to you more.” His body language indicates that he’s nervous, which she admits is endearing. There’s a momentary pause where she finds herself too busy marveling over his features, but he misunderstands. “I’m—I’m not a pervert or anything like that, I swear! I won’t do anything bad to you.”

She almost laughs. Who talks like that? “That sounds exactly like what a pervert would say.”

He gapes, face flushed. “No, I—” She loves seeing him struggle, so she lets him take his time, just watching him with amusement. He takes a breath, probably trying his best to slow down his soaring heart. “It’s just—it’s hard to find someone with a similar taste like mine and I, umm… I’d like to know you—I-I mean your taste in books—better.”

Usually, she’s not as gullible as to agree to a stranger’s offer, but meeting him somehow feels like reuniting with an old friend. It’s easier to trust him than to be suspicious of him. She wonders if it’s simply because of how affable he seems despite his awkwardness.

Her heart convulses. She knows how grabbing some coffee together tends to lead to something more, and seeing how shy and flustered he is standing in front of her, she’s sure he wants it to lead to something more. Her boyfriend’s name pops into her head, but her lips betray her before her brain can form a warning. “Sure, why not? Let’s prove my guts wrong,” she answers with a slight curve of her lips. “As long as you can tell me your name, that is.”

“Right, sorry.” She loves the sound he makes when he sheepishly chuckles, and she loves it more when it echoes louder in her ears. He offers his hand, stretching out his lean fingers. “I’m Yuuta.”

She expects it to be soft, just like the way he’s gazing at her, but his palm feels calloused against her own. “Yuuta…?”

“O-Okkotsu,” he finishes awkwardly as if he hadn’t spoken his surname in so long that he’d forgotten it.

“Pleasure to meet you, Yuuta Okkotsu.” When she replies to him with her name, he freezes, his eyes widening, shaking in disbelief.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No,” he answers, his expression melting into something warm, full of nostalgia. “It’s just... Your name sounds familiar to me.” She arches a brow, but he leaves her with no time to speak her curiosity. 

Calling her respectfully by her surname, he flashes a smile. “Shall we?” ***

Winter comes with a blush of the autumn time, ready to charm her soul and win her heart all over again, the way it always has since the first time she could remember cotton-like ice crystals falling gently across her window. The days, though shorter, remain clear and dry, as if they were already warmed by a sweet breath of spring even when the year has just begun. To her regret, the snow has yet refused to fall, but the way the city of Tokyo glows at night, with fairy lights wrapped around tree-lined streets, serves as a nice consolation.

 Stepping outside the library, she gazes toward the sky, expecting to be greeted by a blue evening sun, as if the rays would somehow be colder in these icy days, but, of course, it stays golden, divinely warm upon her chilled skin.

“Are you cold?” Yuuta questions as he watches puffs of her warm breaths lingering in the air. “Would you like my coat?”

“No, I’m fine.” All thanks to her wooly sweater. “That’s so nice of you, though. Offering a stranger your coat like that.” And honestly weird because who does that on a first meeting? She mulls to herself, though the thought doesn’t bother her as much as it should.

“I just…” Every time the word ’stranger’ comes flowing past her lips, it seems to hurt him somehow. “I thought you might need it.”

He’s being genuine, she can tell. The same way she can see just how red his cheeks are with the breeze biting too deeply into his skin. “I honestly think you need your coat more than me.”

“Ah,” he chuckles timidly. “Yeah, I’m not really good with cold weather.”

The thought of him all bundled up, sniffling from the wintry winds, enters her mind, making him look so adorable in her eyes. “We should hurry and get all warmed up then.”

They walk side by side, exchanging small conversations as they go. “Is winter your favorite season?” he asks.

“It is. I think it’s pretty. And it gives me the excuses I need to spend the whole day just keeping myself warm and cozy at the library, reading my favorite books. What about you? I suppose you hate it, huh?” 

“I don’t hate it.”

“You don’t? Even though you look like you’re about to freeze to death?”

He laughs softly to appreciate her jest. “No,” he smiles to himself. “I think I might have disliked it in the past, but my—” He stops, clearing his throat. “A friend of mine used to love it so much, so… I’ve grown to like it since then.” 

He said it like it was a secret he tried to repress, someone more meaningful than a friend. Her gaze drifts down to the silver ring hanging over his sweater. That looks like a wedding ring, she thinks, but it would’ve been weird, wouldn’t it? Let’s say he was indeed married; would he flirt with another woman while displaying his ring like this? Maybe he’s divorced? But why is he still wearing it? The thoughts swirl, but she keeps them solely in her mind. ***

Walking from the library to the nearest coffee shop only takes around ten minutes. By then, she’s caught on the little gestures Yuuta makes as he speaks: the way he forces himself to laugh a little when he notices he’s being too straightforward; the way he clears his throat when he feels like his words have more hidden meanings than they let on. She’s become aware of his passion and love for books, so strong that it can only be matched by her own. She’s learned about his dream, a novelist in the making, taking his first baby steps to turn it into reality.

“There’s the one,” she says, pointing a finger to a small yet cozy coffee shop on the corner of the main street, still a few meters ahead. “I don’t drink coffee but often drop by to get matcha lattes before work. They’re amazing.”

“You don’t drink coffee?” Despite his question, he doesn’t appear to be surprised by the fact. It was as if he already guessed it.

“Yeah, umm—” She loosens the collar of her sweater, her body heating up as embarrassment grows. I’d rather die than tell him that coffee upsets my stomach. “You know, the caffeine keeps me awake.”  

“Ah, yes. Of course.” 

It’s probably just her fear and shame playing tricks on her mind, but she swears she sees a little knowing smile forming on his lips. She refuses to acknowledge it for the sake of her heart.

“Oh, hold on.” Yuuta suddenly quickens, taking a couple of strides ahead of her. He pulls on the doorknob, holding the door open. Any other man would do it to leave a good impression. Yuuta does it because he’s raised to do so, a gentleman to his core.

“Thanks,” her sheepish smile causes joy to bloom like roses on his face. 

They step inside the shop, instantly surrounded by wafts of the warm, welcoming blend of coffee beans and caramel. A young female performs a love song on the stage with a pink acoustic guitar perched on her lap, a shade that matches her cotton candy hair. The queue of people desperately needing warm coffees in the chilly evening is longer than she expected. She doesn’t find the heart to change places, however, knowing how Yuuta has been secretly hiding his face behind his scarf, seeking warmth whenever he thought she wasn’t looking (she caught him in the act every time but kept quiet about it for his sake). 

Maybe it’s better if we stay. “Do you mind if we wait in line for a bit?”

“Not at all,” he replies.

 And so they wait, standing side by side, trading secret glances and diffident smiles. 

A staff slides open the display shelf beside her, placing a fresh batch of chocolate pastries and strawberry cakes under the fluorescent light. Saliva pools in her mouth almost immediately. The savory cream, the strawberry fillings in between layers, and—

“You can go ahead and take a seat if you want,” Yuuta offers, swaying her away from her stupor. “I’ll place an order for us.”

“Huh? Oh, no, I can wait here with you. It’s fine.”

“It’s still gonna take a while.” He briefly looks at the six people ahead of them, worried. “You sure?”

She skims through her options quickly. An open spot in the corner would be perfect for them to talk, a safe distance from the live music playing on the stage and the gossiping crowd. “But I’d feel bad,” she speaks her concerns.

“This is nothing,” he assures. “What would you like to have? I know you’re fond of their matcha lattes, but I saw the board, and it says it’s not available right now.”

“What?” She takes a quick view of the handwritten menu on the blackboard. “Oh, you’re right,” she mumbles regretfully, noticing that even a simple matcha tea is crossed out. Great, what should I get? Will I look childish if I ask for hot cocoa with s’mores? Yeah, probably. “What are you getting?”

“Black coffee.”

And, of course, he had to be an adult and choose that, she nearly pouts. Now, I’m definitely going to sound like a kid.

“What about hot chocolate?” he suggests. When she reciprocates with a frown, surprised at how easily he reads her mind, Yuuta quickly adds, “Sorry, it’s just… You look like you have a sweet tooth.”

“Excuse me?”

“I—I saw you staring at the cakes before, so, umm… Sorry if I jumped to conclusions.”

“Oh, wow, that’s embarrassing,” she forces out a faint laugh to mask her shame. “You caught me drooling.”

“No—it’s cute, really!” It’s even more mortifying now that he’s trying to comfort her about it. “I like cakes too. Chocolate ones, mostly. But also the strawberry ones, they’ve been growing on me lately—” he abruptly stops. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. God, I’m sorry.”

She watches him turn flustered, just for a second before she fails to suppress her giggles from escaping. “You caught me drooling, and now you’re panicking about oversharing. We’re a bunch of idiots, aren’t we?” 

The string of her adorable peals of laughter causes his gaze to soften, his eyes turning melancholic as if he were witnessing a memory unveiled before him. She notices him staring—adoring, really, like it’s a habit of hers he’s grown to love for years. Such a weird thing for a stranger to do. 

“You haven’t changed at all,” he says under his breath, or at least she thinks so. She must have heard it wrong.

“All right,” she says, straightening down her sweater. “I’m going to be useful and find ourselves a table before I further make a fool out of myself. I’ll have a slice of that strawberry cake, please.”

“Noted. And your drink?”

“I’ll have what you have.”

“Coffee? But—”

She strides away before he can finish. 

Leaving him standing on the line, she catches him shaking his head from the corner of her eyes, chuckling to himself.

Yuuta arrives at her table a moment later, carrying a tray filled with their orders. “Sorry for making you wait.”

“Sorry for making you wait,” she says, proffering her gratitude with a smile. “Alone.”

“It’s fine,” he mirrors her expression. “Here’s your order.”

“What is this?” She questions as he places down a plate filled with strawberry cake—two slices, with extra frosting and fresh strawberries on top. “Are you trying to make me fat?”

He laughs, his hands busy settling the cups on the wooden table. “I thought you might be hungry after all the waiting.”

“It literally was only fifteen minutes.”

“Well, then, maybe we can share?” he asks, slightly hopeful, before his shyness gets the best of him again. “O-only if you’re comfortable.”

“Please, I’d love to—” She stops, noticing the two cups of hot chocolate—with s’mores—sitting between them. “Wait.”

“Oh, umm,” Yuuta straightens himself on his seat; his posture reminds her of an employee preparing himself to be scolded by the chief. “You said you’ll have what I have, so I got you the same one.”

“Yeah, but didn’t you say you were gonna have black coffee?”

“Did I?” He does it again, emitting that unique laugh of his to hide his discomfort. “Well, uhh, caffeine keeps me awake, so… I changed my mind.”

She squinted her eyes. “You’re actually a lot cheekier than you look, aren’t you?”

He sweats, hastily taking a sip of his drink. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

It’s her turn to shake her head this time, all in amusement. “Well, thank you. For being so considerate.”

With a juvenile glee, he replies, “Don’t mention it.” ***

“Have you thought about what kind of story you plan to write?” She asks as she slides her cup closer to her side. Now that she’s finished tasting some of the s’mores with her spoon, a lovely shade of cocoa shimmers inside, glazed with foam and melted marshmallows. “Is it porn?”

Yuuta chokes on his drink, spilling a bit of chocolate down his chin. 

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry.” She promptly snatches some tissues for him, almost dabbing his mouth herself as some of it threatens to spill onto his shirt. Thank goodness he managed to wipe it off just in time. 

“It’s not porn,” he coughs out, his eyes glassy with tears.

“Yeah, no, of course. I was just kidding.” She checks on him, her forehead creasing with concern. “Are you okay? Did some of it get into your nose?”

“I’m fine,” he sniffles, trying his best to smile without wincing.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry. You’re just so stiff; I thought I’d ease you up with a joke.” She half-grimaces, half-grins at him. “Guess it’s working?”

“Guess it is. A little.” When he chuckles, she feels an inkling of joy. It doesn’t take long before Yuuta’s little laughter becomes one of her favorite sounds in the world. “Sorry for being so jumpy all the time. Old habit.”

“Not used to talking to strangers?”

“Not like this, no. You’re my first.”

Something warm and pleasant grows inside her chest, but she chooses to ignore it. “Well, consider me honored. So,” she sips her drink, “Your story?”

“Oh, uhh… I plan to write a romance novel.” 

“Romance? That’s surprising.”

“How so?” 

“Hmm, not sure why, but I see you more as someone who writes crime stories. You know, writing from experience, that sort of thing.”

He pouts. It’s adorable. “Because of the way I behave?”

“Because of the way you behave.” She returns to another good-natured chaff. “Also, because you seem… I don’t know, there’s something strange about you.”

Yuuta falls into silence, just for a moment. A reaction she didn’t see coming. “Strange how?”

“Like…” She peers into his eyes, and there it is again. The way he stares at her. The way he tends to express pensive sadness as if he’s been trying to convey something to her—something really important—but she’s not listening. He doesn’t seem suspicious to her, not in the slightest. But he gives her the same feeling she feels when she encounters a mystery in the book, one that she can’t wait to be resolved at the end of the story. Why do you seem so familiar? She ponders before she shakes the thoughts away. “I can’t point my finger at it just yet.” 

His shoulders sag. For some reason, her answer disappoints him. 

She straightens up on her seat, her lips tilting up on their own to cheer him up. “Perhaps I’ll figure it out once we finish our drinks.”

Yuuta smiles, too, but it lacks the same warmth. There’s something he’s not telling. “I hope so,” he says. If there was a hidden message beneath it, she missed it.

Feeling a tad awkward, she taps her fingers against the sides of her cup. “So, a romance novel, huh? I never would’ve pegged you as a romantic if you didn’t tell me.” 

Anything that he wants to say, he swallows it all down to himself. “Well, it’s supposed to be more than just a romance story. It has a supernatural element to it. Borderline fantasy.”

“Like what?”

He takes a few seconds before he responds quietly with a secretive smile. “I guess you’ll just have to read to find out.”

“Cheapskate.” She purses your lips. “Is it going to have a happy ending?”

“Well, they’ll be separated by death in the end—”

“Hey! Spoiler alert!”

He cringes, “Sorry.” 

“I can’t believe you said, ’You’ll just have to read to find out,’ and then dropped this bomb on me.”

Yuuta chortles, very light, very charming. “I just wanted to make it sound interesting, I guess. I thought you’d do well with sad stories.”

“Well, yes, angst is my cup of tea. It wasn’t before, but I read this heartwrenching book once, and it’s been growing on me ever since.” She then notices something. “That’s a good guess, though.” She throws a joke, “Were you able to tell because I have this constant miserable look on my face—”

“You’re beautiful.” 

She freezes. His line comes out so suddenly, true, but it doesn’t stagger her as much as the way he speaks it. He says it not as a compliment but as the truth. He conveys it so smoothly, but not because he’s used to flirting. His eyes still shake as they stare at her. The slight crack in his voice is one of the tiny proofs of how nervous he is around her. And yet, these words sound so natural in her ears, as if he’d said that to her a thousand times before. 

And it feels like she’s heard it. A thousand times before.

“I… Sorry.” He settles himself on his seat, his cheek blossoming in red when he scratches it with his finger. “I didn’t mean to cut you off. It’s just… You don’t look miserable or anything, you’re… You’re gorgeous.” He can’t meet her gaze. She’s the blazing sun, and he’s a man who’s never stepped out during daylight. “Ah, what am I saying,” he mumbles, only for his ears to hear. She can tell he wishes his seat could swallow him whole. He’s embarrassed, terribly so, that he practically has one hand covering his face. 

“Umm… Thanks.” That’s all she can say because how else could she answer him when he acts like he just made a love confession? Trying to keep it light, she adds, “You’re giving out that suspicious vibe again.”

He claws against his jean-clad thighs, feeling even smaller. “S-sorry…”

“I’m kidding!” She exclaims, flashing her biggest smile. “I appreciate the compliment, truly. Thank you, Yuuta.”

He stops breathing at the sound of his name escaping her mouth. She realizes it’s the first time she’s said it, and seeing how his shoulders turn tense, she begins to worry. “Sorry, I accidentally called you by your first name. I hope that’s not rude?”

“N-no, it’s all right,” he says, pink flames bursting in his cheeks again. He fiddles with his fingers, bashfully adding, “I… actually prefer you call me that way.”

“Oh…” There’s probably no limit to how adorable he can be. “Well then, you can call me by my first name, too.”

The way joy sparks instantly in his eyes is blatant proof that he’s been waiting for the chance, but he shakes his head, too shy to take it. “No, I… I shouldn’t.”

His choice of words leaves her puzzling over it. Not can’t. Shouldn’t. He’s not shy. He’s refraining himself. But for what? “And if I insist?” She asks.

He nibbles on his lower lip, avoiding her gaze, and maybe he’ll do it, just for her sake, but it won’t feel right, will it? 

“Never mind, it’s fine,” she comforts him. “You can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind.”

Yuuta seems relieved, thanking her in silence with little nods.

“So, what happened to them? The lovers in your story.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to spoil it.”

“You can’t just say something like they’re dying and then not tell me about it.”

He awkwardly laughs. “If you insist, I can give you a hint later, but you’ll have to imagine the rest.”

“Then tell you about it? What if you steal my idea?” She raises an eyebrow, smirking. “I happen to have a very creative imagination, you see.”

“I promise you I won’t,” he answers so thoughtfully that she almost feels sorry for teasing him. “I’ve finished writing my version of it. I’ll let you see it after you tell me yours.”

“Huh, interesting.” She pretends she’s rethinking her decision, just to get him a little hopeful and nervous about it. “Deal, why not.”

His eyes are filled with excitement. “Does that mean we’ll see each other again?”

She wants to poke fun at him again by saying ’maybe,’ but Yuuta resembles an overjoyed puppy waiting for a stroll. She doesn’t have the heart to do it. “Well, I do have to go back to the library to return the book, so… Yes.” 

His lips parted in the brightest smile, his eyes glimmering in delight. “Then, next week. I’ll see you again next week. Same time?”

Like a disease, his glee is contagious, sending ripples of joy inside her. “All right. But be sure to keep your chin away from my head next time.”

He titters, “I’ll try.”

They exchange stares, sharing sheepish smiles. She breaks away first, bringing her focus back to her drink. It has grown slightly cold over the passing minutes, but the sugary taste has become quite an addiction.

“I’ve never seen you in the library before,” Yuuta mentions. “Was today your first time visiting?”

“No. I’ve been going there almost every day for the last month, but I usually visit in the morning. I just moved to a new company, you see, and my office building is nearby. I walk past the library every day, and since my shift starts late, I often drop by before work to read for an hour or two. My apartment is pretty small, so it feels a bit cramped. That’s why I enjoy spending more time outside.”

“You’re spending your weekends in the library too?” He wonders aloud.

She playfully narrows her eyes at him. “Why does it feel like I’m being judged here?”

“No!” He panics. “I just thought that—that you’d have friends inviting you out or, y-you know.”

“Well, I’m not really one to party,” she chuckles to ease his anxiety. “I don’t do well with crowds. It feels better to have a one-on-one conversation like this. More meaningful.” 

He’s a mystery, but in some ways, he’s also an open book. Every time her word delights him, it shows. “Me too.”

She smiles, but it slowly drops as she swirls her spoon, watching the little whirlpool she creates inside the cup. “But it’s also because… Well, I can’t read at home.”

“May I ask why?” 

“I have a boyfriend who works from home, so he’s always there with me.”

Yuuta’s fingers stop tapping against the surface of the coffee table but it’s too fast for her to notice before he starts again. “I see,” he replies. The smile on his lips never falters; the one in his eyes does. “Is he a lively person?”

“Very,” she sighs. “And loud. It’s hard to focus on your book when you have a grown man either swearing at his computer screen for probably twelve hours a day or snoring throughout the morning like he wants the whole town to hear it.” She catches herself. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to vent. He’s nice, I care about him a lot, it’s just… I need some time for myself. Somewhere quiet.”

It doesn’t last long, but she senses it, the changes in his expression. It feels like she just said something terribly hurtful to the point that she feels like apologizing for it.

Maybe he notices her noticing, which is why he tries to mask his feelings better with a broader smile that does reach his eyes this time. “And that’s why you chose to visit a library.”

“Yeah. I mean, I could go to a book cafe, but…” She shrugs. “I don’t really like it. Too modern, too… many people just taking selfies instead of actually reading, you know?” 

That earns her a chuckle. “But why here, specifically? There are many new ones in town. Bigger ones, too. This place is pretty old and dusty.”

“Can’t argue with that,” she nods, sighing. “This is going to sound dumb, but that library feels nostalgic to me. The first time I stepped inside, I felt like I’d spent all my life there. It was like I had memories there—just sitting on that old couch, reading books, enjoying the silence. It just feels familiar, you know? Even more comforting than being in my room. It’s weird, but I can only feel at ease when I read there.” Yuuta stays so quiet that she has to lift her head and meet his gaze to understand a glimpse of what goes through his head. His face is solemn, undecipherable. “What about you? What’s your reason, Yuuta?”

He drags his eyes away from hers, fixing them on the interlaced fingers around his cup. The light in his eyes slightly dims as he turns pensive. 

“It’s just closer to my place.”

***

“Hey, Bunny,” her boyfriend of six years, Satoru Gojo, chirps from the bedroom. It’s not so much of a warm greeting, not anymore, not like how it used to be. The pet name he calls her now feels just like another word. All the fluttering butterflies in her stomach seem to have died, along with his welcome home hugs and I’ve missed you kisses. 

Judging from his voice, he must have a cherry lollipop stuck in his mouth, another replacement for his cigarette. He used to be addicted to it back in college, influenced by his best friends—Suguru and Shoko. His room smelled like one whenever she visited it for… well, a ’study date’ he used to call it. She had asked him to stop smoking countless times in the past and nagged about it for two years as she grew worried over his health, but each complaint fell on deaf ears. Satoru only stopped a couple of months ago, breaking the news to her with a grin, saying, “I did this for you, babe. Aren’t you proud of me?” And she smiled at him, she always did, even as she stared at Suguru’s face among the pictures he had on his nightstand, reminded of the truth. Satoru didn’t do it because of her, and he most certainly didn’t do it for her. He just didn’t want to end up collapsing from heart disease like Suguru did. That’s all there is. And that got her thinking. 

When was the last time her boyfriend did something for her? Or listened to her? Or noticed something different about her hair or the new dress she wore? 

She styled her hair for him. She bought a new toothbrush before he asked for his to be replaced. She decorated her apartment in his favorite color on the day he moved in, eagerly wanting to make him feel comfortable, but every piece of furniture and accessories he bought after always had the same shade. He thought it was her favorite color, too. He never asked, just assumed, which summed up her entire relationship with him. 

It never occurred to him that she did everything for his sake, for his pleasure, for his happiness, because he never thought of doing something solely for her sake. Satoru was always about me and us, but never you. “This color is nice, isn’t it, babe?” It wasn’t, but she smiled again, never letting him know that his favorite color was the color she hated the most.

But maybe it’s just her fault. 

Maybe she’s put herself in this situation for not being honest, for always keeping her thoughts to herself, for always agreeing with him instead of saying what she wants. It’s just… She’s tired. Tired of fighting over minor differences,  tired of worrying that her protest would lead to a bigger fight, one that would drain them emotionally and damage their relationship for good. But she couldn’t help but think how nice it would be if he were, at least, considerate enough to ask. 

Back when they first dated, Satoru was everything she could ask for. He knew how to keep her standing on her toes. He was driven by impulse. Exciting. Unforgettable. 

Those late-night drives on his motorcycle when she spent hours laughing at his stories with her hands settled deep inside his leather jacket…

Those weekends they spent traveling together to a country where none of them spoke the language, wandering around with no map in their hands, sharing heavy kisses in an abandoned alley, and drunk-dancing to songs sung by strangers… 

And those nights when he would have her body speak to him in ways that only he allowed, her head swirling in ecstasy as she succumbed to his naughty smirks and experienced hands. It was fun. 

So what changed?

“Lend me one of your earphones. I want to know what song you’re listening to.”

“You’re a bit quiet today. What’s wrong?”

“Let’s watch this movie again. You seemed to enjoy it a lot when we saw it at the cinema.”

“I like it when you wear your hair down like this. It looks nice.”

These words… Did he use to say them to her in the past? She can no longer remember, but she forces herself to believe that, yes, he did, he said them all the time. It’s a terrible way to deceive her mind so her feelings for him remain the same. It’s a pathetic way to convince herself that his feelings for her remain the same.

“Hey,” she replies to his greeting, even when he’s nowhere to be seen.

“You’re late.” Satoru, like always, has his fingers running on his keyboards. His magnetic blue eyes are locked to his computer screen, probably have been for the past few hours. She wonders if he even looked up to see her when he heard her footsteps earlier. Most likely not. “Did you get the puddings I asked you?”

“Yes. I put them in the fridge.” 

“Okay, cool.”

No ’thank you’ but what was she expecting anyway?

She removes her coat and unwraps her scarf from her neck before moving toward the living room. She can’t remember what or who initiated it, but it has been almost a year since he started living in her apartment. She remembers how he used to spend just one night at her place on the weekend, then two when he felt a bit needy for her touch. Before she knew it, his personal belongings were scattered all over the place—his hoodie on the couch, his towel hanging on the bathroom door, his toothbrush on her sink. Satoru could be spending the entire week at her place, only taking a short trip back to his apartment once he ran out of comic books to read. The changes just came so naturally that she didn’t notice at first, but by the time she did, it was too late to even bring the topic to the table. 

So she decided to turn her apartment into a home, making it official that they’d moved in together, reshaping it into a place where both she and he could be comfortable and adjusting plenty of things to his needs. Satoru didn’t notice the effort, let alone appreciate it. And now she’s starting to count the days when he’ll eventually stop noticing her as well.

Being with Satoru was easy, casual, and he gave her more reasons to laugh over little things than anyone else. During the first two months of living together, they acted like newlyweds, with him peppering kisses on her face whenever she arrived home from work. Unlike her, Satoru is a freelancer who does most of his work at home. He used to be considerate enough to do some chores for her—cooking, cleaning the bathroom, and sometimes even doing her laundry when he felt like he’d been neglecting her. Whenever she arrived late, he’d always have something prepared for her, beaming at her with a infectious grin while chiming, “Oh, finally, you’re here! I’ve been waiting for you for hours, and I’m starving like crazy. Today’s dish is your favorite, so let’s hurry and eat!”

Unlike him, she appreciated his effort. Each and every one of them. It didn’t feel one-sided then, unlike now.

Satoru used to be perfect, more perfect than anyone else, but then she realizes that he was just trying to impress. Impress her, impress his colleagues, impress his teachers. And now, maybe he doesn’t feel the need to impress her any longer. Nor does he want to.

She was happy, but things are bound to change, and happiness doesn’t last forever. It started slow, almost unnoticeable, with him forgetting to kiss her good night before bed and her treating the fact that he no longer paid attention to what she was wearing as normal. Nowadays, he doesn’t have enough affection to greet her with his smile—one that used to shine brighter than the sun. Comforting hugs and welcome kisses are long forgotten.

It’s lonely, but it’s fine. He’s still here. Satoru is still hers as much as she is his.

It’s fine.

As she rests on the couch, her fingers brush against the book she borrowed from the library the other day. Her mind drifts back to the stranger she met, her smile growing so naturally on her lips at the memory.

Satoru walks out of the bedroom with a yawn, one hand rubbing against the back of his head while the other slips underneath his shirt to scratch the itch on his stomach. He’s stopped minding about his appearance in front of her a long time ago, wearing and doing whatever he feels comfortable with, unbothered by what runs through her mind. She never speaks up anyway. With an enervated “hey,” he enters the bathroom, never stopping to ask her about her day, though she doesn’t really expect him to do so. 

A brief moment later, he returns with his eyes still bleary despite his attempt to wash his face. Noticing his messy silver hair and the black shirt he’s been wearing since yesterday, she follows him to the bedroom, asking, “Have you taken a shower today?”

“Nope,” he answers, plopping himself back to his gaming chair, his eyes locked on his computer screen. “I was busy. Had a meeting with a client this morning.”

She takes a glance at the digital clock on his desk. “But it’s already eight-thirty.”

“Thought I could shower with you today.” He flaunts his cheeky grin, catching her off guard. She didn’t expect him to say something like that, but then again, now that she noticed, it’s been almost two weeks since they last had sex.

She’s exhausted from work. Her body is aching. “I see. Well, I’m about to take a shower now.”

“Like now now?” He hisses when his character on screen takes damage from his opponent. “I’m still playing. Tomorrow morning, then?”

“Sure,” she says, just for the sake of conversation. She already can tell it won’t happen. She has to leave early for work, and Satoru would rather die than wake up at seven in the morning. 

“Hey, umm… I met someone yesterday.” She reaches out to stroke his hair. It’s so soft and fluffy, like a dog’s fur, even when the strands point in every direction. If there was one thing that hadn’t changed, it was how she still found it calming to just card her fingers through them. A habit that she did often in the past as he loved falling asleep with his head on her lap while she indulged herself with her favorite book. The feelings are the same, only his reaction isn’t. He used to lean into her touch as a kitten would. Now, he doesn’t even spare her a glance. “Satoru… Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, yeah, one sec.” He smashes more buttons before he slides down his headphones, letting them rest on his neck. “What’s up?”

“I met someone yesterday. At the library.”

“O… kay?” He knits his eyebrows, confused. “What’s that gotta do with me? Someone I know?”

Surprise blinks in her chest at first, followed quickly by disappointment and then acceptance. Another piece of her heart still breaks, but she’s grown used to the feeling. “No, I just… I don’t know, I thought you should know.”

He snorts, holding back a laugh. “Honey, I’m not keeping you locked up in here. You’re allowed to meet anyone you want. Don’t need to report everything back to me.”

She refrains herself from chewing on her lip. “You’re right. Sorry for bothering you.”

“Baby, of course you’re not bothering me,” he coos, poking her playfully in her stomach. “I’m just saying that ’cause you made it sound like a big deal.”

“Yeah,” she replies, careful not to sound too cold. “Sorry.”

“It’s all right.” Satoru smiles before he spins on his chair, returning to his game. “Who was it?” He asks, fingers running fast over the keys. “It’s not a man, is it?”

She pauses. “Yes…”

He stops tapping, only for a second. “Is he hot?”

“Well, he’s not ugly.”

“Then don’t get too close to him.”

Satoru is the jealous type. He has always been. He’s far from controlling, but his possessiveness often feels suffocating. Or, at least… It used to be. And that was fine. It made her happy to know someone out there liked her so much he didn’t want to share her with anyone else. She felt wanted. Needed. But not today. 

Today, although his words weigh heavily on her, she can tell they weren’t born from his affection for her—if there was even still any of it left. She is his belonging, his possession, and he’s a lion guarding his territory. That’s it.

And that’s… fine, too. At least he still cared.

“I won’t,” she answers, as she should. “I won’t get too close to him.” She repeats it, this time for her own ears, to remind herself.

“Good,” he says, dismantling their tension as easily as a moth shreds its wings. He flashes her a grin with that youthful sparkle in his eyes. “Then we don’t have anything to worry about.” Satoru returns his full attention to the screen, not caring if she’s still standing in the room, waiting for him to care more about her than the man he suspects is eager to snatch her away.

“What will we be having for dinner?” She asks him while he’s busy shouting foul words to his screen.

“Jesus—left, you moron!” He groans loudly into the air before turning around, finally realizing she’s waiting for his answer. “What? Oh.” He pops the lollipop out of his mouth. “I just had some take-outs.”

“You didn’t wait for me?”

“I was dead hungry, but I ordered some for you, too. It’s probably cold now, but you can heat it.”

“Can you do that for me, please? I love it when you add more seasonings to it.” 

“Bunny, you know I’d love to do that, but,” he smiles apologetically before his fingers dance across his keyboards again, “I’m in the middle of something here. There’s an event going on, and these assholes literally won’t let me take a break. Listen, I’ll cook for you tomorrow, I promise.”

She has stopped believing in his promises, or at least doesn’t allow herself to believe in them anymore. She’s learned that the best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything.

She smiles back, pushing his hair away so she can land a kiss on his temple. She refuses to say a word no matter how much her bottled-up feelings are about to burst.

Because she knows silence is what keeps their relationship alive. 

***

That following night, Yuuta appeared in her dream.

Standing on the small row between bookshelves with a small feather duster in hand, she found him entering the door to her library—one that bore an uncanny resemblance to the place she often visited in reality. 

He seemed much, much younger than the version she knew, maybe by ten years or so. He had more tan on his skin, his hair a little shorter, color’s a shade darker. He was dressed in an old-fashioned way, like a young English man from the 1940s, with his white buttoned-up shirt, suspenders, and a beige coat that was a couple of sizes bigger than it was supposed to be. Nevertheless, he looked just as breathtakingly handsome as in real life.

Yuuta took off his wool-felt fedora hat, greeting her with a polite bow the moment their eyes met. He was just as timid and awkward; his cobalt eyes never stayed long enough to be locked with hers, but they were honest—the way they shimmered in adoration at the sight of her, painted with both suppressed desire and affection.

He called her with a name—a surname, she assumed, one that she didn’t recognize, but it didn’t feel quite as strange in her ears as it should have been. It was the first time she heard it, and yet, it almost felt like it was her own.

Her body went on autopilot, words flowing from her mouth before she could process the situation. It was like she was residing in someone else’s body, just a bystander. “Good morning to you, too,” she said, bowing her head.“Okkotsu-sama.”

He displayed a mix between a smile and a wince. “Must you refer to me in such a way again?”

“Well, I thought we’d agreed to call each other by our names yesterday,” she heard herself correcting him in a playful manner. “But someone seemed to change his mind.”

He fidgeted a little, his cheeks smeared with scarlet. “I’m… I’m feeling rather embarrassed.”

“If you feel embarrassed calling me, a commoner, by my name, how do you think I feel to be addressing a young nobleman such as yourself without any honorifics as you requested?” 

“Well, I…” Unable to compose a retort, Yuuta sighed in defeat, though his amusement was still sketched vividly on his face. “You’re quite stubborn, aren’t you? We’ve only met for a few days, but I already can see myself never winning an argument against you.”

“Well, isn’t it nice to lose sometimes?” She tossed him a smirk, returning half of her attention to continue swabbing the dust off the shelves. “You already have everything you want under your feet, after all. I think it’ll serve as a nice change.”

“Not everything,” he said, staring at her fondly, like a young boy captivated by a lovely dancer on stage. A thousand messages remained unspoken, and yet, with butterflies swirling in her stomach, she could somehow read each one.

“Maybe not yet,” she said, a glimmer of seduction on her lips. 

He gulps. 

Taking off his coat and letting it hang loosely on one arm, Yuuta shortened the distance between them with nervous steps. They chatted for a bit, feeling grateful that it was still quite early in the morning for other patrons to visit. It was easy to melt the ice between them, but only because she knew how, and watching him loosen up around her filled her with some sort of achievement. 

Sometimes, when their conversation died for a few seconds of comforting silence, she’d catch him looking at her with a half-dazed look on his face.

“What is it?” she asked, despite already knowing the answer. “You’re staring again.”

“Oh, umm…” Though mortified, he still used the chance to confess. “I just thought… You look beautiful today.” He sported a soft smile, one that melted her heart the same way his roseate cheeks did. It was also, she realized, the same one that bore the exact look like the one she saw in real life. 

“Why, thank you,” she replied, a hint of teasing in her voice. “Hopefully, you’re not implying I didn’tlook beautiful yesterday.” 

He blanched. “No, of course not! You’re always beautiful! Ever since I first saw you, you’ve always… been…” At the sight of her covering her smile behind her hand, he exhaled in relief, resting his hat on his chest. “Don’t tease me like that.”

“I’m sorry,” she giggled, putting her duster away before dismantling her apron. “Now, if you’d follow me, Okkotsu-sama, I will show you where—” 

He cut her off with a gentle call of her name—her first name—and it staggered her to her feet. Her body might come to a halt because of how lovely her name sounded in his voice—in that sweet tone of his—but her heart froze because it was her name that rolled off his tongue. Her actual name.

That was when she realized: the person who she believed to be a stranger, was herself. And it had occurred all the time in her other dreams, yes, but this one felt… real. 

“T-there,” he stammered, flushed. “I called you by your name. Can you please stop addressing me that way now?”

She felt her lips curving upward. Her voice had never sounded as sweet as  it was when she said, “Yuuta.”

His blush unfurled from his neck to his cheekbones, like red tulip burgeoning on pure white snow. “Thank—” he stopped to swallow his breath, unable to maintain his gaze. “Thank you.”

Tittering lightly at his behavior, she took him by the hand. “Shall we?” 

She guided him further inside the library, introducing one title after another with her fingertips dancing between books. They weren’t as dusty as they were in her reality, the titles far from familiar to her eyes. Weird, she thought, as she was confident that she had memorized most of the books sitting on that particular shelf. Even when she’d visited the library earlier that morning before her shift started, her eyes had roamed along the same section. 

“Which book would you like to read today, Yuu?”

He still grew adorably tense every time his name slipped through her lips,  especially like that, but he was getting used to it. “I’m—I’m not yet sure. Will you choose one for me?”

“Hmm…” She tapped her chin. “Unfortunately, I have a peculiar taste when it comes to books—”

“I trust you,” Yuuta said, smiling a tad wider than before, perfect teeth peeking behind soft red lips. 

“Well then…” She stood on her toes to reach the book she’d been excited to show him all day. “Shall we start with this one?”

The vision ended without her knowing what book it was or the line between her dream and reality. They stood out so vividly—the scenery, his expressions, the lines she’d exchanged with him—that it took her a few good minutes to convince herself that it was just a dream and not a memory.

She couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. 

***

Her dream follows her every step like a shadow, even in her wake.

Saturday comes, and she finds herself in the library again, just as she promised him. Compared to what she’s seen in her dream, this place is indeed old, with walls standing in dire need of being repainted and books collecting more specks of dust than they have readers flipping through their pages. But the faint smell of sandalwood combined with the orange tint of sunlight sneaking through the windows is always calming. Crowds don’t gather much around here—maybe four or five people at most—and the tranquility consoles her. There’s only a soft thrum of acoustic guitar playing through the speakers that keep her company—

“You’re looking for this one?”

—and Yuuta.

“Yes, indeed, my good sir.” She takes the book from his hand. “Thank goodness we didn’t have to bump heads today.”

“Well, I’d promised you not to,” he chuckles. “Though I certainly wouldn’t mind.”

He’s wearing spectacles today, round glasses adding a layer of maturity to his youthful face. Combined with his long brown coat accentuating his height, he looks even more handsome, her stomach tingling whenever his eyes flicker back toward hers. He tilts his head slightly to the side, one eyebrow raised in curiosity as he tries to read her expression. “Is there something wrong? You’re staring at me. I-is it my joke? Was that rude? Please don’t take it the wrong way—”

“No, calm down,” she can’t help but giggle despite being embarrassed for getting caught in the act. “Sorry, I was just staring because of your, umm… height.” It is true, though not completely.

“My height?”

“Yeah. Must be nice being so tall, huh? I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach it, and I still needed your help.”

He blinks, noticeably surprised, though she’s not sure whether it’s her grumbling or her childish pout that bewilders him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he says, returning to his gentle smile. “I just… didn’t think you’d say that.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean you specifically. You just remind me of my boyfriend.” He seems surprised, yet again, but instead of restoring his smile, this time he turns quiet. She feels the need to explain. “He’s so tall, you see. Taller than you, even. And he always makes fun of me for my height, like moving my coffee cups to a higher shelf just so he can watch me beg him for help. He’s a bit of a prankster.”

Yuuta chews on the inside of his cheek, tucking his chin. “I wouldn’t have made fun of you,” he says quietly after a moment of confusing silence. “I will never make fun of you.”

The sudden solemnity in his voice feels heavy on her ears. “You don’t think I’m short?”

“I  think you’re perfect.” He lifts his face, suddenly blurting out his words like he’s in a debate he desperately tries to win. Staggered by it, she can only stare. He turns flushed. “I—I mean, being short makes you look cute, like a child. N-not saying I’m into kids—I’m not a pedophile, I swear—”

“That sounds exactly like what a pedophile would say.”

His jaw drops. A giggle escapes her. And when she laughs, he does it too, the sound so warm and comforting that it makes her feel like she’s sitting in front of a cozy fireplace.

She returns her gaze to the shelf. “So, Okkotsu-san,” she teases, “which book would you like to read today? Can’t be this one ’cause I got it first,” she grins, lifting the book she held in her arms.

“Which you only got because of my help.”

“True, but the point still stands.”

Her childishness never fails to amuse him. “Hmm, I’m not yet sure. Will you choose one for me?”

She freezes, her heartstrings playing a familiar symphony. She opens her mouth, hesitates, but then decides to say what her memory tells her to do, “Unfortunately, I have a peculiar taste when it comes to books—”

“I trust you.”

From skipping a beat to racing twice as fast, her heart feels foreign in her own chest. “Umm… Okay.”

Yuuta tilts his head, examining her. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. I just remembered something, uhh, something to do at home. Later. Anyway,” she hastily averts her gaze, her eyebrows tied in a knot as she tries to understand is this what deja vu feels like? She searches for a book, trying to be at ease despite her stomach swirling uneasily. “Shall we start with this one?”

Yuuta’s frown stays for only a second longer before he breaks into another smile. “Sure.” 

***

Weekdays are reserved for Satoru, but weekends…

Weekends are the days when her heart can finally dance and smile and live. And every song starts and ends with his name: Yuuta.

Satoru always has plans every weekend, plans that don’t involve her, not anymore. She did this to herself, mostly by declining his offers to mingle with his friends and co-workers until, eventually, he stopped asking. It’s not that she doesn’t want to go; she just no longer has the energy to keep up with hours of his social life when all she does is sit at the corner, doing nothing but sip on her drink and waste her phone battery to pass the time. 

Satoru’s friends are nice, but they don’t really resonate with her in the way she would love it to be. Shoko smokes too much. Suguru judges her taste in anything behind his angelic, saccharine smile. Haibara is exceptionally energetic that he tires her simply by looking at him. Mei Mei visits the girls’ bathroom once every twenty minutes to check on her little brother, and Nanami… Well, Nanami is all right. They could spend hours just grousing over how terrible it was being a corporate slave, but he’s not there often, taking away the small chance she has to make herself visible. Satoru would bring her into conversation occasionally, but as soon as he got a nod or two, he’d focus on Suguru, who, for some reason, always knew how to ruffle his feathers.

So, the routine starts. Friday nights are for his co-workers. Saturdays are for his college mates. And Sundays… Well, Sundays are supposed to be filled with breakfast in bed and bodies tangled under the sheets with her, but Satoru has forgotten his promise a long time ago, using them to regain all the sleep hours he’s been missing the days before instead of having some quality time to catch up with his lover. But it’s fine. She’s learned how to make the best of her time, finding companies in books that never make empty promises nor offer her disappointment the way he does. And now she finds an even better option. 

She meets Yuuta every weekend when the sun is a couple of hours away from setting. They don’t chat for long as their conversations are always reserved for the little coffee shop gathering (she’s trying to avoid the word ’date’) that always occurs after a few pleasant hours of reading. They begin to grow comfortable with each other, much easier than she thought they would, and very quickly, as if they were old friends reconciling for the time they’ve lost. Maybe even more than old friends—a thought that should scare her. 

At the library, she spends most of their hours poring over her chosen book for the day while stealing glances at him. More often than not, she’ll catch him doing the same, but whenever their gazes meet, he’ll look away with his face steaming, busying himself at once by scribbling something incoherent, most likely, down on his paper.

Today is a rare occasion. He’s been keeping his gaze fixated on his own writings; the world seemingly turns obscure around him. His eyebrows taut together as he sinks more profoundly into his thoughts, a habit that she finds beguiling. His raven hair seems a shade lighter as the evening sun casts its light upon his face, basking him with such a warm, beautiful glow.

He really does look like a painting, she admires, stealing glances at him from behind her book. The perfect shape of his nose, his skin as pure as the driven snow, the way he’s so fixated on his story, drowning inside his imagination… It’s easy to be bewitched by his beauty.

She must be careful not to let her endless praise slip through her mouth. “So focused,” she coos, choosing to act mischievously instead, which earns her a little smile. “Writing a new scene? I thought you’d finished your draft.”

He looks up from his paper, meeting her eyes. They linger briefly as if it was hard for him to look away once he’d set his eyes on her. Though it happens all the time, she can never get used to it. 

He smiles quietly to himself, a soft blush painting his features. “Just a short one.”

She hums in response. Having trouble refocusing on the passage she just read now that he’s giving her attention, she throws another question at him. “Why aren’t you using a laptop? I mean, it would’ve been a lot easier, right?”

“Not fond of it,” he responds, re-reading the words he just wrote. “I feel more like a writer this way.” When he notices her tittering, he arches his brow. “What?”

“You sound like my father.”

He scrunches his nose. It’s cute. “Then I’m sure your father is a brilliant, tech-savvy man.”

“I’m saying you have an old soul, the way you prefer to do things more traditionally.” She sinks further into her chair, opening a new page, eyes scanning the lines but not reading them. “Well, I guess that makes the two of us since I already have the e-book version of this on my iPad, yet I’m still here reading it in a library. How’s your story going so far?”

“Pretty well. I just came up with a really annoying character.” His smile is a bit different this time, somewhat impish. A new look on him that she instantly adores. “Inspired by someone.”

“You’re not talking about me, are you?”

Yuuta drags his pen over his note. “Character B begins to question whether she’s—”

She playfully slaps her book against his shoulder.

The more time she spends with him, the more she feels like he’s becoming a mystery she can’t solve. She’s closer to him, closer than any of her friends, but she knows there are secrets he tries to bury underneath those tender smiles. To her, Yuuta, with his eyes always seeming like they’re telling a different story—one that nearly drives him to the brink of tears—still appears like an incomplete puzzle. And if time allows her, she’d gladly collect every piece of him to perceive  him better.

***

Dreams are supposed to be strange. Nonsensical. Meaningless and easily forgotten. And yet, ever since Yuuta walked into her life, they’ve become anything but. Every detail stood more vividly than the memories of her own childhood, so vibrant with colors that it made it impossible for her to stray away from it even when she was awake. They occur every night, forming a chain of events beginning from the very first day she encountered him by chance in the library. 

In her dreams, they spent most of their time there, almost in the same way they did in real life. But while only weeks had passed by in reality, time flowed much faster here. She could tell that the season had changed from the clothes they wore to the coldness that kissed his cheek scarlet. There were never the same books lying between their hands, but she didn’t notice them at first, not as clearly as the changes in the air shared between them. 

They grew closer faster than they did in real life, fondness in the glances they covertly tossed to each other. Their voices were glazed more with adoration than mirth every time they laughed, and the smiles they shared were everlasting. Yuuta’s eyes lingered every time he had the chance to marvel at her features for a little while. Sometimes, they were lost in her darker hues. Sometimes, they remained longer than they should have on her lips, watching them move but not registering any words spoken. Sometimes, if she were lucky, she’d have the chance to gaze back into them, and he’d let her have a taste of the depth of the affection he held for her. And they’d let the moment pass just like that for a second or two, forcing time to slow down and their surroundings to reduce into a blur until they were the only two people left in the universe.

In one dream, when the serene evening rain tapped itself against the tall windows of her library, she saw Yuuta braving himself to touch her hand for the first time, just the slightest brush of his quivering fingertips against hers as they read from the same book, a touch so light it rivaled the softness of a zephyr’s kiss upon a baby’s strand. She could feel her face warming at the touch, a new sensation, but she didn’t hate it, not at all. If anything, it left her wanting more. The dream ended with them sharing secret smiles with themselves, innocent hearts kissed by the flame of first love.

Every night, this happens. And it’s like witnessing the beginning of a love story. Her love story. Though most of the time she feels like she’s inhabiting someone else’s body, it’s beginning to feel like…

I’m falling for him, too.

It’s a scary thought, but she puts no effort to stop it. After all, this is just a dream, isn’t it? I’m only falling for this version of him—the version that I, or rather, my mind, created. And that’s why he’s so perfect, right? Because that’s how I want him to be. It sounds like a perfect theory, and so she believes it wholeheartedly. 

Only on certain nights when exhaustion took a toll on her body did she manage to sleep without him visiting her mind, but that was simply because she wasn’t dreaming at all. It seems like she only has two options now: enter a dreamless sleep or fall into memory-like sequences that revolve around him and no one else.

Last night was no different.

She entered her dreamland, a burst of sunlight blinding her at once. She threw her stare down to avoid it, seeing her hands going in motion to accompany her moving legs. She could see the end of her plain, dark grey kimono swaying with every step, her feet covered in white socks that were split between her toes, matched by a pair of formal sandals made of rice straws. She was taking a stroll down one of the busiest streets of Tokyo—or at least, that was where she assumed they were. 

To say that the city appeared dissimilarly from the one she resided in now is an understatement—they were poles apart. The architectural design of the buildings embraced more of the historic European elements instead of the perfect blend of the traditional Japanese architecture and modernist designs they have now. The Western influence lay thickly in every aspect of life that she managed to identify in the short time she was there. From food, clothing, music, painting—everything was transformed by it. The city looked breathtaking and unsettling at the same time. 

She recalled seeing such scenery commemorated in one of the history books she studied in school. She was indeed in Tokyo—a couple of decades before it was bombed to the ground, turning the once beautiful city into nothing but dust and rubbles, drenched in the blood of more than a hundred thousand civilians during the Second World War.

 The thought made her blood curdle. 

“Are you all right?” 

Yuuta, appearing just as young as the first time she saw him in her dream, asked her worriedly. He was dressed in another set of Western clothing, looking exceptionally handsome in his white button-up shirt with his sleeves rolled up, a black tie, and a matching dark vest that highlighted the shape of his broad chest and lean waist. The wind ruffled his hair as he walked beside her, perfecting it by adding a little boyish charm, a perfect company to the blush on his cheeks that emerged from the late spring’s sunlight heat. 

The one thing that was missing was his smile, his face twisted in concern as he eyed her closely. “You haven’t said anything in a while… Am I boring you?”

“No, of course not,” she heard herself say, stepping to the side of the road to speak with him in private. He bent his head down to listen to her properly, not wanting her voice to be drowned by the murmurs of the passing crowd. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I just… I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” He repeated, both in disbelief and amusement. “Why is it so hard for me to imagine that?”

“It’s true,” she pouted. “Unlike you with your sweet, extravagant life, I’ve never had the pleasure of being invited to a concert before. I don’t know what to do once I’m there. I don’t know what to say to your friends. I don’t even think I’m dressed correctly for the occasion—Why are you laughing at me?!”

“I’m not.” He clearly was, even when he was trying to swallow every bit of his laughter. “I’m sorry. I know this is a new experience for you, but really, there’s no need for you to feel so anxious. All you have to do is sit down beside me and enjoy the show. You don’t have to say anything to my friends if you don’t want to. We could also just avoid them entirely if you think that could put you at ease.”

“But… I thought you wanted to discuss something with them after the show.”

He hummed as he pretended to cogitate on it, secretly smiling to himself. “Well, I suppose I could meet new business partners every other day, but being with you? When you’re so adorably nervous like this?” His grin was as beguiling to marvel at as the blush that kissed the apples of his cheeks. “That doesn’t happen every day now, does it?”

Speaking of cheeks—she was pinching them. Hard. “We haven’t met in two weeks, and suddenly, you’re a man with words now, are you?” He whimpered in pain, sputtering out his apology until she released him with a sigh. “Am I at least wearing the right clothes?” She spun herself once, giving him the chance to examine the details. Though her long sleeves were up to trend, she couldn’t help but think that the motif and shade of her kimono were a little dull. Most ladies her age wore bright-colored ones with bold, graphic patterns as their ornaments. Their fabrics were always made from silk or satin, unlike hers which was cheaply produced from cotton. She would never have let such trivial things bother her if she didn’t have to stand next to him at such a fancy event. She cared more about his reputation than her own, not wanting him to be judged more than he already was for spending most of his spare time wandering around with a lower-class woman such as herself. “This is the best kimono I have, but I don’t know if it’s enough—”

“You’re perfect,” he answered without waiting for her to complete her line. “You’re always perfect.”

She cast her gaze somewhere else, ignoring the heat rising to her face. “Well, if you say so…” she murmured diffidently. “I just want to look equal to you. You look so handsome with your suit and everything and I don’t…” —her voice turned small— “want my presence to ruin that.”

His shoulders slumped forward as he witnessed her usual confidence waning away. With tenderness in his touch, he took her hand between his own. “We don’t have to go if you don’t feel like it.”

She shook her head. “You’ve paid a high price for my ticket, I couldn’t—”

“I don’t care,” he squeezed her hand. “All I want is to see you having the best time of your life. I thought—since you said you often played classical music on your piano—watching a live orchestra in person would gladden you. But if it only worries you like this, I’d rather just spend another hour with you in the library.” He gave her a smile, as soft as the brush of his thumb over her knuckles. “Let’s do whatever you want today. Wherever you go, I’ll follow.”

He made her heart sing in ways she thought it couldn’t. “No, I want to go,” she confirmed. “I’m sorry, I just… I guess I thought about it too much.”

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “I think you look gorgeous as you are now, but if you’re still concerned about your outfit, why don’t we visit a shop real quick?”

“Huh? What are you—” She was tugged forward before she could finish, forced to hasten her steps to match his excited strides. “Yuuta—wait!” ***

Without taking a second to listen to her, he led her to the nearest gokufuya to find her a set of kimono that, in her opinion, would be better for the occasion.  They arrived with sweat coating their skins, their breathing ragged from all the running. “Can you dress her in the prettiest, most expensive kimono you have, please?” Yuuta promptly asked the owner with sparks in his eyes, taking her by surprise. 

A beautiful lady, maybe ten years above her age, who was dressed elegantly in a white kimono decorated in floral patterns, smiled understandingly at his request. “Of course. Could you please wait for a moment? I will prepare the changing room for you.”

“Yes, we’ll be waiting,” he replied.

Immediately after she walked away, leaving the two of them alone, she clutched her hand around his arm. “Yuuta, wait,” she warned him under her breath. “We should go. I don’t have any money.” Especially when you unnecessarily asked her for the most expensive one. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll pay.”

“Then, we really need to go,” she insisted, half-glowering at him. “What did I tell you about buying me expensive gifts? I don’t like it. It makes me feel guilty.”

“Well, fortunately for both of us,” he grinned, rather cheekily which was a rare look on his face. “I’m not buying you a gift. I’m renting it—ouch!”

She was pulling on his cheek again. “That’s the same!”

But Yuuta, with his cheek swollen and everything, remained stubborn till the end, refusing to leave the shop until she, at the very least, tried to put one on herself. 

The shopkeeper, who introduced herself as Utahime Iori, instructed two young assistants—Miwa and Momo—to accommodate them with their needs. With a polite bow, they led them further into the shop, granting them some privacy from the other visitors. “Let’s just do it for fun,” Yuuta said. “If you don’t find anything that suits your taste, we can go with your old one, I promise.” Not wanting to argue with a nobleman in front of three pairs of curious eyes, she sighed and followed as he said, begrudgingly.

Only just for fun, she muttered inwardly.

And indeed it was. Never in her life had she had the opportunity to try on such luxurious clothing. From silk to satin. Blue, green, and golden. From geometric patterns to feather-like designs—she was trying on everything the two girls asked her to. 

Yuuta sat on the little couch provided in the same space, waiting with his suit jacket folded around his arm and his invisible tail wagging behind him, all in anticipation. She could feel his excitement reverberating even from the fitting room she was in. 

His eyes matched the brightest stars in the night sky each time she allowed him to take a look, gazing at her with admiration so intense, it lit her skin on fire. She always pulled the curtains closed before he could muster his comment, knowing that it would be the same every time.

You’re so beautiful.

Before she could try on the next piece, Utahime walked inside the fitting room with her own choice of kimono. “Let’s try this one next, shall we?” Her assistants nodded, ready to follow her direction, but the lady stopped them before they began. “I’ll assist her with this one myself,” she said, earning herself a polite bow from the two before they excused themselves out of the room.

Utahime stepped closer, causing her to grow nervous for some reason. The room suddenly felt like it’d shrunk three times smaller with the amount of tension brewing between them. In her eyes, Utahime exuded elegance that only belonged to the nobility. She found herself tense under her scrutinizing stare, her tongue tied inside her mouth.

“Raise your arms for me?” Utahime broke the silence, to which she answered with a nod. The lady began by unraveling the sash, experienced hands moving so swiftly yet refined. “Your partner is very adorable,” Utahime said to her surprise, with a slight giggle that she didn’t expect to flow so airily from her mouth. She disrobed the outer layer of her kimono, preparing her for the new one. “Must be nice to find love at such a young age.”

“W-we’re not lovers.”

“You’re not?”

“No, Ma’am.” Why am I talking about my love life with a stranger? She thought, mortified. She followed Utahime’s guidance, sliding her arms through the long sleeves of the kimono she’d chosen for her. “We’re just, umm… Friends.” And it was true. Yuuta showered her with endless compliments every second he had the chance to, but not once had ever asked her to be his lover. And maybe that’s for the best, she couldn’t help but wonder, crestfallen over her own thoughts. Because at the end of the day…

We never truly belong in the same world, do we? 

She expected confusion to settle on the lady’s face, but it never did. It was as if she had known the truth all along. “I don’t think any of you wishes to stay that way for long,” Utahime said softly.

The truth came down as a blessing and torture at the same time. She couldn’t speak for his sake, but she knew exactly why she hadn’t spoken a word about her feelings, even with them growing this close to each other. He was blue blood while hers ran red. When was the last time she heard of a nobleman marrying a lowborn in this country? Never.

So, they could trifle with each other’s heart all they want; they could even own it if they wanted to, but it wouldn’t matter. They would never be together. 

“I keep telling myself not to come clean about my feelings for him,” she confessed quietly. “And even if I wanted to tell him, I wouldn’t know how to… put my feelings into words. For once, I’m embarrassed,” she chuckled a little to mask her emotions. “But, most of all, I’m… scared.”

I’m scared that he’ll say the truth. That the difference in our status is indeed something he can’t look past.

She wondered if Utahime could read the conflict she was battling inside, but if she did, she didn’t speak on it. Instead, like a mother would do to her child, she soothed her with gentle words. “Well, sometimes love can be so grand that we find it difficult to put it into words,” Utahime started, her lips curved up in a delicate smile. “But it’s fine, isn’t it? There are many ways to profess our love even without moving our lips. And a thousand more for us to understand the love they bestow upon us.” A faraway gaze manifested in her eyes as if she was reminiscing a past love. “We can feel it in their touch. We can hear it in their tone. We can see it in their gaze. Love is love no matter how we convey it,” the lady finished. “Our job as women, should our hearts beat for them, is to accept it and return it just the same.”

Her gaze turned vacant as she let Utahime wrap her obi around her waist, recalling every little kindness, every little joy Yuuta had granted her in the last few months they had known each other. And with it, she braved herself to wonder.

Even if it was only for a short while, wouldn’t it still be wonderful to be in love with him? To be loved by him? They were still young, so young. It would take another three to five years before he was urged to marry and—

That’s enough, right?

Even if he was forced to leave me afterward… Even if it would only hurt us in the end… Wouldn’t it be better to love a little than to not love at all? 

I want to.

I want to love him.

I already am in love with him and I know he feels the same way.

Our job as women, should our hearts beat for them, is to accept it and return it just the same.

I just have to… accept it.

“What if I want to give him more…?” she unconsciously mumbled loud enough for Utahime to catch it. He’d done so much for me, things that I might never be able to repay. And if it’s love he wants from me, if I can give that to him to make him feel as happy as he’s made me, I want him to give him so much more than he asks for. I want to love him harder than the way he loves me.

Smiling to herself, the older woman tied the final string, turning her sash into a beautiful, voluminous bow. Utahime adjusted her body to face the standing mirror before her, lightly squeezing her shoulders as their eyes met in the reflection. “Then he’ll be the luckiest man on earth,” she answered near her ear, letting her take the time to absorb the view.

Out of all the kimonos she’d tried, this one captured her heart the most, enveloping her in such beauty and grace that she could barely recognize herself. 

Her body was swaddled by a pretty violet shade that resembled a blooming lilac. The floral patterns embroidered the silk in such an intricate way that once it was worn, it appeared as if her every curve was embraced tightly by an endless string of white roses. 

“You know what looks better on me than I do, Iori-san,” she said, still staring at her reflection in disbelief. Before this, Momo had helped her redo her hair to match her outfit, tying it up in a beautiful braid that showcased her neckline and accentuated her facial features. It looked perfect combined with this kimono. Now, she appeared like a different person, elegant from head to toe. “I didn’t think this look would suit me. I’ve never worn this color before, or these patterns.”

“Oh, it was all that gentleman’s idea,” Utahime answered with a polite smile, her fingers curling around the curtain. “Everything was, from the color down to the patterns—especially the patterns.” She pushed the blind open, showcasing her latest masterpiece to the one admirer who had waited so patiently for her. “So, go on and show him how stunning his choices look on you.”

With her heart climbing up her throat, she spun her head around to see Yuuta slowly standing from his seat, his eyes turning rounder at the sight of her. She watched him swallow his breath, searching for words to say as blood pooled quickly on his face.

“You look…” he mumbled out as if he was in a trance. “Breathtaking…”

And quite literally, it seemed, judging from how breathless he was. The two assistants peeking from the corner of the room giggled to themselves, exchanging murmurs behind their fingers. 

Utahime approached her from behind, explaining something only for her ears to hear. “These white roses in the kimono you’re wearing hold several meanings,” she said, guiding her straying eyes back to the reflection in the mirror. She hovered her lean fingers above two separate flowers joined to form an ornament below her neckline. “A single white rose like this portrays the beauty of love at first sight. While these two right here”—she glided her hand to her left side, stopping to caress the small two roses printed on the fabric just a little under her shoulder— “symbolize purity. All together, they represent eternal love.” 

It was all that gentleman’s idea, she recalled Utahime’s lines. From the color down to the patterns—especially the patterns.

She turned flustered, steam filling her brain, but before she could reply, Utahime excused herself with a bow, disappearing behind the sliding door with a knowing smile written on her lips.

Suddenly, there were only two of them in the world.

She grew self-conscious, fiddling with her fingers. Never in her life had she ever been gazed at so passionately, so romantically by a man before that it left her feeling faint. “I, umm, I think I’m going to take this one, but I promise I’ll pay you back for it,” she said, not knowing how to act honestly even when her heart was filled to the brim with gratitude. 

Yuuta was still staring, mesmerized by every detail: the curls of her hair teasing her neck, the way the fabric hugged her curves, how perfect this color looked on her skin—everything.

She raised her hand over her face, hiding behind it. “Stop looking at me like that,” she grew timorous. But instead of doing as she wished, he took the same hand and curled his fingers around them.

There are many ways to profess our love even without moving our lips. And a thousand more for us to understand the love they bestow upon us.

Her eyes widened as he brought her hand closer to him. “Y-Yuuta—”

We can feel it in their touch. 

He placed a kiss on her skin, his lips caressing against the bumps of her knuckles. They were warm, warmer than she thought they’d be as his hand was always cold. The kiss was brief, but his lips remained close as he held her hand still, doing everything so softly as if she was made out of porcelain.

We can hear it in their tone. 

His voice was an instrument, and with it, he performed endless love songs with her name as his poem.

We can see it in their gaze.

Yuuta blinked his eyes open, and at first, she witnessed his affection, but underneath the tenderness of his gaze and the sweetness of his youthful face, laid the passion of a man, so burned with desire, it left her watching with bated breath. 

He wanted her carnally, desired her as much as he loved her.

“I always thought that you’d look gorgeous in this color, and I’m glad I was right,” he said, his hand slowly gliding to her wrist. The simple, innocent act felt so sinful as if he was undressing her, peeling her out of the kimono to satisfy his fantasy. It was so… thrilling. “But even if I had imagined it a thousand times before, nothing could ever come close to the way you look right now.” He drew his hand away, and she was so struck by it, she almost reached out to beg him for more. Yuuta slid his hand into the pocket of his trousers, retrieving the other gift he had prepared for her today. It was a hairpin—a kanzashi, they called it—in the shape of a yellow camellia flower. He placed it upon her hair, the perfect final touch to the perfect lady. He sighed, full of longing, his hand sliding down to her face. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he whispered, his thumb skating over her lips. “The only woman I want to see for the rest of my life.”

She held her breath, her chin trapped between his fingers. He leaned close, or maybe she did, she couldn’t tell, so distracted by the words he spoke and the way he—

“I’m sorry to bother you,” one of the assistants, Miwa, who was sitting politely on her heels, slid the door open without knowing. “Utahime-sama would like to know if—Oh!” She squeaked at the sight of them, her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets as she clamped her mouth with both hands. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt!” She pressed her head to the ground, cold sweat dampening her face. “I was—We wanted to ask whether you’d like to try on something else—oh, Gods, I’m terribly sorry—” she continued to ramble on her own, completely shattering whatever magic laid between them before. 

Clearing her throat, she took a step away from him the same way he distanced himself, tossing her gaze anywhere but him. 

“W-we’d like to take this one please, thank you,” Yuuta said, face flushed.

“Yes, Okkotsu-sama—understood!” Giving another deep bow, she quickly excused herself, scuttering away while mumbling to herself, “What do I do what do I do what do I do I have no money Utahime-sama is going to send me back to the village what about my brother he’s still so young what are we going to eat what if we get eaten by a bear oh I’m going to die”

“She does not have one positive thought in her brain, does she?” She forced a chuckle out of her despite still finding the air heavy to breathe in. 

Yuuta stood soundlessly, still unable to meet her gaze, not even for a second. But that was fine. She wouldn’t have known what to do if he did. After all—

Suddenly, he called out her name, a little bit louder than he’d intended due to his nervousness. “Y-yes, Yuu?”

He took her hand, holding it tightly between his own. He locked their eyes together, causing her to gulp. “After the concert,” he said, his ears flaming red. “C-can we continue—”

Everything suddenly turned blank.

She blinked her eyes open, greeted by the sight of her ceilings.

When she was younger—many, many years ago—her mother used to splash water on her face to rip her apart from her sweetest dream, but it never, never felt this excruciating, this shocking, this infuriating to wake up before. What was he going to ask me? She mused, even when she still felt disoriented after the sudden change of reality. 

’Can we continue seeing each other?’

’Can we continue talking somewhere private?’ 

’Can we continue… where we left off?’  

What was it?!

Her heart raced at the thought. God, she hugged her knees to her chest, burying her face in them, this is worse than having my favorite show end in a cliffhanger. She almost groaned loudly out of frustration—she would’ve if Satoru hadn't been sleeping next to her.

Right. Satoru.

She whirled her head to the side, watching her boyfriend sprawling on the sheets, nearly taking most of the bed and hogging the blanket to himself. Next to him, a digital clock sat on the nightstand.

04.32 am. 

There’s still time before I have to go to work. If I fall asleep now… will I dream of him again? Will I find out the question he asked me? She immediately shook her head, throwing herself back to the bed. It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t be thinking of him, not like that.

Satoru, she reminded herself as she lay on her side, her eyes slowly turning heavy as she continued to stare vacantly at the wall. I’m with Satoru. Yuuta is just a dream.

“Everything was just…” she mumbled, her lids drawing close like a curtain. “…a dream.”

A dream and nothing more.

***

[griefabyss69]

In The Shadow of The Wing

Thank you to @geddyqueer for the sensitivity read! <3

I had a lot of fun writing this one, I hope you all enjoy it! Steddie | Rated: E | 4K | No CWs apply | Tags: Friends With Benefits, Semi-Public Sex, Oral Sex, Fingerfucking, Trans Eddie Munson, Trans Male Eddie Munson, Cisgender Steve Harrington, Getting together (implied), Post-Canon

[ AO3 ]

Summary

Steve's been a great friend so far, and offers Eddie something he could only admit he wanted in the secrecy of his mind. It's a pretty big deal to accept it, but… fuck, whatever. Do it scared, right?

Excerpt

Eddie keeps his face turned up to the ceiling even though he can’t help but look at Steve while he talks. He feels his heart pound through his back against the floor and wonders if he’s being too dramatic about all of this, or maybe not dramatic enough?

It was an easy offer and Eddie had accepted it with a wordless nod, terrified of it and needing it at the same time. Unfortunately, whatever piss-and-vinegar mask he wears around town falls to pieces whenever he’s around Steve, so obviously he picked up on it.

"C'mon. You know I don't care what you've got going on, right? I just want to put it in my mouth," Steve says, scoffing through his smile like Eddie's being ridiculous or something.

And at this point, he is! He knows that. It’s just one thing to talk about it—and fantasize about it, dream about it, long for it, even pray for it on one particular horny and lonely evening—and another to open himself up to the realities within it.

[thefixations-ofmine]

Mister June and the globetrotter

Bucktommy | 3.3k | Rated G (sexual inuendos) Entry for the @bucktommywinterfest, round 10 February 2-8: Tommy in the firefighter calendar and Buck 1.0 meets closeted Tommy This Idea comes from this post right here, with a twist. Note: Bold italics are texts. Dash changes POV, star cuts time.

Main Masterlist | Winter fest Masterlist | AO3

So, were you hoping for anything from this date? Buck reads the text, surprised. The person on the other end - who isn’t Jodie - has definitely been woken up at three in the morning on a Wednesday and wants to keep talking? Well, he’s bored and could use the distraction, considering he just lost a very good fuck opportunity, so he goes on in good-old Buck fashion;

Not really. I don’t ever give it too much thought. It’s just sex for now. Buck presses send and then realizes that makes him sound shallow. Pot meet kettle. He goes on to defend himself: I move around a lot, settling down isn’t in the 5-year plan. The little white lie reaches its destination, then he sets his phone down to get the shower started.

I see. I guess that’s fair and keeps people from having expectations. Has to feel lonely though, no?

Buck reads the messages and there’s a pinch in his heart he can’t control. Yes. ‘Yes’ is the answer but he’s never said that to anyone, even to Maddie because he doesn’t want her to fuss over him on top of everything else - much of the reason he’s running around is to stay out of people’s hair.

The only thing he can come up with is to be Buck, again – or rather this persona he’s allowing himself to be – so he takes a photo of his naked chest from a low angle and sends it with a caption: Wouldn’t be lonely if you wanted to join. 

He feels himself grow hard as a pavlovian response to the sexual chase, and his brain absentmindedly captures a few extra shots, one precisely showing his back in the mirror down to the dip of his ass crack and sends them. His thumbs linger over the screen to add another quirky line, but the dots on the other end appear, and disappear, and this goes on too long for his liking. Before he loses his entire rhythm, Buck decides to leave it at that and jump into the shower, the scalding water feels good on his back, his hand finds refuge around his dick, the comforting gesture sending a jolt up his back and his low hum carries the desperation of a long day.

-

Tommy’s body goes so warm when he receives the pictures he swears he can hear the AC start running in the room. One photo shows the dips and valleys of his abs perfectly, and Tommy loves that he’s not dried-out and cut either. Despite the very short attempts at flirting when he was younger, this was the first time he got such explicit pictures and his body shudders when he goes back down to the edge of the screen where a very apparent bush peeks barely.

The second photo breaks his composure but his hand is quick enough to shut off the groan that creeped up his chest. That kid (Evan - his name sits in the raunchy greeting at the top of the conversation) is giving him everything he wants and it’s pumping up blood around his body at an alarming rate. He studies the way Evan’s back arches against the counter and how Tommy’s thumbs would look amazing in those dimples, and fuck-

This is affecting him more than it should. He usually has to go digging through pages of porn to find a body he likes and he shouldn’t, but he lets himself linger a little too long for his liking. He shifts in bed, not entirely sure what to do or even what to say.

He wants to play along, ask for more, but the poor guy probably thinks he’s volleying with a pretty woman and Tommy’s a fan of not building expectations. And, well, nobody knows Tommy is gay, maybe not even himself entirely but the way his hands are getting damp feels like a very autonomous bodily response to him, so he has to do something about it. Or nothing at all. Pot meet kettle, again.

He needs to push himself to do so but Tommy sets the phone down on the little table next to his bunk and forces himself to wait this out as he tries to catch up on sleep. He usually has no trouble falling asleep, but he finds himself counting sheep this time. Or maybe it’s to keep the impending truth he was growing in his pants at bay.

A call comes in just before his alarm, twenty minutes before they would all be free to go home. Chim grunts from the bunk below, seemingly more aggravated by the situation.

“Rise and shine, superstar,” Tommy teases, grabs his phone and jumps into his boots before running to the truck. The call came from across town so he gets a few minutes to scroll through his aviation forums as the engine carries them out. When the screen turns on, a notification tag shows that Evan had sent him four texts during the night. He can’t say he has forgotten about him, the pictures still haunting his thoughts, but Tommy hadn’t come up with an escape plan either. He has a quick look around and holds his breath even though Chim and Hen are sitting across from him - from the way things were headed, he could definitely have a dick pic waiting for him. He lets his thumb unlock the screen.

Shit. I’m sorry. That was too much.I guess I was still in the mood, you know…Fuck, I shouldn’t say that either. I’m a douche.Anyway, um. I have to be up early to catch a flight. So maybe talk later?

Tommy grins stupidly and the breath he held comes out in a broken chuckle. Evan has to be in his twenties. Early twenties, even, because if the pictures weren’t indication enough, that rambling nailed the coffin. And Tommy does want to keep talking to him, for selfish reasons or to see how this pans out, he’ll have to figure that out, but he has to be honest about the situation, for Evan’s and his own sake.

So, he sends a few texts and puts the phone in his turnout, not expecting an immediate reply;

All good. I get the fun behind this.I need to be honest though, I’m a guy. My name’s Tommy. I’m 36 and a firefighter in LA. I’m still up for a chat, just thought you should know.So I’m sorry you sent those photos, but they’re safe with me.Oh! And I have a safe flight, Mr. Globetrotter. ;)

Tommy feels the vibration of hope as soon as the phone hits the bottom of the pocket, and his heart picks up a few beats per minute knowing he might have a text from... No, Tommy shakes his head, don’t go there. Not a second ago he was trying to convince himself this whole deal should be left to a short and silly conversation about a wrong number. The truck pulls up to their destination and he can focus on doing what he does best.

It’s only two hours later when Tommy can have another look at his phone, and his stomach flips when the notification on the screen is just a random email. He chuckles, really shouldn’t be that bummed out, he thinks as he opens their conversation. His thumb hits the three dots next to the number and he goes to add Evan’s name as a contact.

Yeah, he’s fucking done for.

*

Evan puts on the blue LAFP t-shirt and lets his hands run down his front, admiring the color on himself and it’s evident how hopeful he is for the road ahead. He starts the academy in less than a week and it’s nerve wracking, but Tommy has been sure to guide him through the steps like a great mentor. And it’s been great finding a reason to keep talking to him, finally. 

“Tuck in the shirt. I know it’s not the army, but they still care about little details,” Tommy says over the speaker as he watches Evan try on the uniform. He loves how eager he is. He’s already noted that down on his recommendation letter. When Evan had mentioned moving back to LA, things just clicked and Tommy was the one to start talking about the job.

“Uh, yeah. Th-thank you, Tommy.” Evan proceeds to fix the uniform and huffs proudly as he twirls in front of the mirror. Tommy still thinks the boy is in on the joke and is trying to see where his self-control will break, then Evan grabs the phone and smiles and Tommy knows he’d forgive Evan anything. “What would I do without you?”

“You want an honest answer?” Tommy says and they both laugh easily.

They facetimed once or twice, or maybe five times over the last weeks, and each time the conversation gets deeper and more genuine, and Evan doesn’t know it yet but him being careless about his sexuality is doing wonders for Tommy on his end of things. He had been more than okay with seemingly sending risky photos to a man, and he even complimented Tommy at large when he got a basic selfie back for a profile picture. There was still one thing to figure out;

“Want me to drive you to your interview?” Tommy offers boldly, only slightly regretting it. They hadn’t had the talk about meeting in person and that could be crossing boundaries. Maybe Evan saw the wince on his face just then because he starts giving him an excuse.

“My sister, um Maddie, she just moved to town also. We haven’t really seen each other in a while. I asked her to come with me.” Tommy nods and smiles. Still, he waits for the moment Evan realizes he’s being pushed against a wall, like Tommy is out to play some trick on him. “I’d much rather see you at my graduation. If you’d like. Of course, um, no pressure, I-”

“I will be there, Evan.” Tommy says the words calmly even if his mind screams of excitement. He promises himself to tell him he’s gay before then. Maybe even let the station in on it as well; if he wants to believe in chosen families, he’s going to need to be honest and open.

It’s five months. He can do it.

“O-okay. I gotta go. I have a few things to do before I get there.”

“I’ll see you around, Evan.”

“Honestly, I never thought I’d love to hear my name out loud so much,” Evan answers and dips his head down. Tommy melts when he does that. He wants to kiss the top of his head and tell him he’s being so adorable. Then Tommy wonders how Evan’s name would sound coming out like thick honey on his tongue as he moans and okay, Tommy needs to end this video call right now or risk embarrassing himself.

“Think of a nickname, then. I call dibs on your name,” he adds with a wink and ends the call.

Tommy goes back to his living room where a pile of paperwork waits for him. The forms to be recertified for flying had been in his office for months, maybe a year, and talking to Evan had made him realize that every dream deserves a chance. So when Tommy convinced Evan to join the firefighting academy, Evan had dared him to get into flying again. Then Tommy talked to Bobby, and things started to piece together like a puzzle. He’d be transferring to Harbor station just before Evan graduates, and perhaps Tommy used his charms and wits to make sure his empty spot was warm and ready for Evan to make his probation.

-

“Maddie, you don’t get it. I-I don’t want to make a bad impression!” Buck waves his hand around as he refills his sister’s coffee. He sits at the end of the table and prepares for the older-sibling advice to be laid on him.

“Evan, I’m not sure I understand, didn’t you just meet Tommy? Actually, you haven’t even met him.”

“Well, it’s been months now technically. The academy alone lasted five months! And-and he’s been there every step of the way, I just-”

“Okay, okay. But let me say that again. This is the first time you’ll see him in person, Evan-”

“Buck! Um- ha. Everyone at the academy called me Buck, and I think I like the nickname.” Maddie sighs, annoyed. But she smiles anyway and proceeds;

“Buck,” she says the name with a faint grimace, “I just want to make sure you’re not expecting too much. I mean it’s one thing to get along over the phone a few times a week. Maybe it won’t be as sugar-coated in person. I want you to know that.” Buck takes a sip of coffee and a bite in his bagel. A quick look at his watch: two hours left before the ceremony. He needs to iron his uniform and grow out some balls. And convince his sister that he’s not reading too much into it even if his stomach does a weird thing now - like when he eats something that disagrees with him - whenever Tommy says his name because it’s his to say and that perhaps he recorded one of their conversations so he could listen to it on repeat while he fucked some pent-up anger into his cheap fleshlight. Shit.

Maddie is right, this could all come crashing down. Buck never thought he would find such a connection with someone, but it seems so obvious now; Buck had never given anyone a flying chance at a conversation, let alone parts of his brain he had never exposed. He’s not certain what that says about him just yet, but he’d lie if he said he didn’t hope for this to pan out well. Knowing someone in the LAFD right out the gate will be detrimental, and hopefully the coffee dates will also be fun.

“Anyway, I appreciate this, Maddie. I do. He’s just a friend. Someone I can rely on and who’s made substantial efforts to help me. I need that in my life. Everything is so volatile.” Buck feels all lovey-dovey now, and he reaches for his sister’s hands. “And I need you. So tell me, how do you like LA so far?” 

-

Tommy fidgets. Tommy never fidgets. But he’s sitting on a little white wooden chair in the back rows of this open-field ceremony and his leg won’t stop bouncing and he’s biting the inside of his lips and he’s looking around frantically and… maybe Tommy does fidget now. The ceremony is about to start and he needs to get his shit together because Evan will be one of the firsts to come up alphabetically and Tommy knows he’ll be scanning the crowd for him. It doesn’t help that today of all day the sun decided to be a menace to humanity. His hands are damp and his collar scrapes around his neck and Tommy needs to remember that he’s not at an army boot camp and he’s safe and sound.

He looks at the gift he brought to ground himself, but he wonders if that or his eagerness might freak Evan out. Then again, he’s meeting the man who shamelessly sent him pictures bordering on nudes for the past month and he hadn’t returned the favour, so he hopes that this gift can bridge the gap.

“Why does this feel like some reality TV show and you’re about to meet someone your mom picked out for you?” Chim jokes beside him, obviously aware of his nerves. He pondered bringing someone with him, but this was a good idea - Buck would have his sister, so he could have support as well. Who better to take that spot than mister comic-relief himself.

Plus, Tommy had made some efforts on his end, as he promised himself, so he came out to the station over one of Bobby’s amazing dinners as well as letting them know about the transfer, reinforcing how proud and privileged he feels to be part of this house. Their acceptance and encouragement had both been amazing and heart-breaking, bringing Tommy back to his childhood and how he wished someone had hugged him the way Bobby did. Tommy didn’t cry often either, but he did that day.

“He hasn’t been picked out for me. It was a weird turn of events, Chim. We’ve been talking for months. It just… feels like it could work out.”

“Yeah, some like to call that fate!” Chim proclaims with a nudge of the elbow. Suddenly, some bells ring and both of them startle, dragging their attention back to the stage. Tommy sits up straight and glares at Chim when he feels his shoulders bounce against his.

*

Chim is chit-chatting with Evan’s sister as they all wait for him to come out of the building. Which he does, twenty minutes later and suddenly Tommy wishes he had taken longer. He needs to calm the hamster doing a marathon in his brain. He needs to go back home and wear more ample clothing and leave the goddamn gift on the kitchen island, but those long legs straddle quickly and Evan joins them before Tommy can even swallow his fears.

The itching on his neck comes back but Tommy is good at ignoring it. He bounces on his heels a couple times as they lock eyes and let the rest of the world fade around them. He knows Maddie says something cheerful to him, and perhaps Chim joined, but for now Evan is beelining towards him and Tommy’s mouth falls open.

“Hi, Evan.” He finds the courage to say.

“Hi,” he whispers before crashing his face against Tommy’s and backing them into the truck. The kiss is clumsy and heated and perfect. Tommy curses the damn gift in his hands as he can’t let them roam over Evan’s back the way Evan’s exploring his chest. They pull apart just before the rest of Tommy’s body could start to respond.

“Was, um. Was that okay?” Evan asks, eyes amorous and fixated on Tommy’s mouth. Tommy manages to look around then and finds their guests gleefully looking at them. He never wants to leave this bubble, but-

“I’m so sorr-”

“No.” Tommy realizes he hasn’t said a word. “No, fuck, that was. That was… how did you know?” Evan gives him a face then and the details of their conversations come crawling back, or maybe Tommy knows he wasn’t very subtle on the ogling despite being behind a screen. His body feels heavy and grounded and he wants his lips back on Evan’s.

“Listen,” Maddie chimes in. “It’s warm, and it’s just shy of happy hour. You guys wanna join us for beers?” Us? Oh. A double date? Yeah, Tommy can do with that to ease the nerves and get a more sensible conversation going. He nods, then turns to Evan.

“Y-yeah, that’s okay,” the young man answers and before he can head to the car Tommy grabs his wrist.

“I have this for you. Special graduation gift.”

“The firefighter calendar?” Evan looks perplexed despite the smile on his face.

“Well, I never sent any spicy photos back so… I’m mister June,” Tommy says. The knot in his gut tightens when Evan’s cheeks go flaming red and he chokes on a laugh.

“I promise to make good use of it!” Tommy and Chim start laughing and it takes a moment to register in his mind. He goes; “Oh, no! Not what I meant, I-”

“Please. I hope so.” Tommy can finally bring his hand to the back of his neck and close the space between them in another searing kiss. One that promises so much, yet leaves everything to be discovered. Chim whistles and that’s a good thing, because Tommy has years to catch up on and he’s not above using the spacious back seat of his truck.

tags: @weewoo911 @hmg621, @chococara25

[imsadstuff]

A Royal Romance - A Jungkook and Royal OC Fic (Part 1)

Synopsis: The royal family of Korea changes reigns with a tragic assassination. Crowns are thrust upon the heads of people who never imagined this life. It is a story of many couples, the queen and her prince consort, a king and queen in waiting, a princess and her forced arrangement with Jungkook, but also a disgraced formal royal Yoongi and his boyfriend Jimin. Read along and see how it all unfolds.

Genre: Royalty, Romance, Angst, Love Triangle, lots and lots of romance

Warnings: Mentions of smoking, drinking and drugs, death of side characters, there are mentions of death of parents, some cursing

Word Count: 40K+ (I write long fics what can I say)

Author Note: So, I've decided that the sane thing to do is post the fic in two parts, what I was worried about is the unregulated traction fics in parts get, but it's insane to put an 80k+ fic all in one go. I've also taken a lot of liberties with establishing a Korean royal family, but it is not to offend anyone, it is all for creativity. I hope you enjoy this labour of my love, like, comment, and tell me all the things you loved and didn't! Anyway, enjoy reading!

AO3 Link - if you wish to read this on ao3, enjoy!!

2019

The chill Friday night hits them on the face as they step out from the bar to smoke. A box of removed from a suit jacket pocket and cigarettes are passes around to the rest of the group while the rest get back to their vapes. People talk about clients, money that was made today, dip in the market that happened last week, predictions for next week. These people spend well over 80 hours together every day and mostly talk about work, that’s all they know to do.

“You’re quiet today, what’s up?” Aiden asks as she continues to check something on her phone, her cousin got engaged last night and the group chat is filled with pictures from the glamourous night.

“Nothing, it’s just been a long week” Sarah says as she takes a long drag off her vape and shuts off her phone, deciding to call her cousin tomorrow morning.

Aiden knows somethings bothering her, he wants to reach out and comfort her but he just can’t, not with people around. That why he takes the opportunity to pull her away as the group orders their 5th round of beer.

“Hey” Aiden says as the two of them stand in a quiet, secluded corner of the bar, his arm drape around her waist and she looks up at him with the same flat face she’s had all day.

“You’re oddly quiet today, did I do something wrong?” Aiden asks and Sarah just rests her head on his chest.

“My favourite cousin is getting engaged today and I really wanted to be there but I couldn’t be, I feel so bad for missing this major event in his life” Sarah shares as Aiden rakes his fingers through her hair.

“You have a favourite cousin? Also, why couldn’t you be there? I would have approved that leave” Aiden says the last thing with a playful chuckle and Sarah just gives him a sarcastic look as she pulls her head up.

“Because my mother and her brother, my cousin’s father haven’t been on talking terms for the last few years, we’re basically not supposed to talk with that part of the family. If I went, it would be this whole thing with my mother and I just don’t have the energy for that” Sarah shares and the same sadness returns to her face.

“That’s, um, complicated, how about we leave and go to my place, I’ve got something at my place that’ll definitely help you feel better” Aiden says in a suggestive manner and Sarah just laughs, so ready to leave this dive bar.

Picking pizza on their way home feels like the best decision ever as Sarah takes the biggest puff off the joint, passing it to Aiden. The two of them cuddle even closer as the wind gets colder, smoking on the balcony is definitely always a bad decision.

“You feel better now?” Aiden asks, putting out the rest of the joint for later. Sarah doesn’t say anything, but she does turn around to place a soft kiss on his warm lips.

“So, you wanna go away the next weekend, my place in the Hamptons is ready just in time for Autumn” Aiden asks as the two of them make their way in. Sarah has done this a few times at his apartment now, she walks into the kitchen as starts reheating the pizza like she’s done before.

“You’re my boss Aiden, you have to know that we have to submit the quarterly growth report the following Monday” Sarah says as she looks in the pantry for some kind of hot sauce.

“I’m telling not you this as your boss, but I put Peter in charge of that so that we could go away” Aiden looks at the scandalous look on Sarah’s face as he laughs and removes the tabasco sauce she’s been looking for.

“Why’d you do that?” Sarah asks as he continues to get some drinks for them, Aiden just shrugs as he walks back into the living room. Sarah just follows him watching the 6 feet man get comfortable on his sofa.

“Aiden, you could get in real trouble if people at work found out we’re involved. I mean, I would be in trouble, but not as much as you would be as a senior partner” Sarah says as she hands him a plate with a slice on it and nestling right where she was.

“Why are you so scared to say that we’re dating? Involved with each other? What is it going to be next, you’re just a friend who sleeps over at my place five times a week?” Aiden says as he takes the biggest bite of the pizza.

“I didn’t want to come off to needy by having the ‘what are we’ conversation, you should have just been a man and asked me if you can be by boyfriend” Sarah teases as she stands up and takes a seat on his lap.

“Oh, how sexist of you, I thought you were a modern feminist woman, remember that speech you gave when a client called you sweetheart” Aiden recalls and Sarah just chuckles as she steals his pizza.

“I’ve never seen a white man that scared of a 5’2 Korean woma-“ Aiden stops talking as the front door bursts open, the two of them look shocked as men in military uniform with guns in their hands file into the room.

“Sorry for the intrusion but I’ve been calling you for the past hour and it’s a matter of your security” a man in a suit says as he walks closer to the couple. Sarah stands with confusion on her face, still looking around the room.

“Namjoon what happened?” Sarah asks pulling her robe even tighter. Namjoon looks behind at Aiden and then looks back at her.

“Mr Smith can you give us a minute, I need to discuss some highly sensitive details with her Royal Highness Princess ___” Namjoon talks and Aiden’s confusion just grows.

“What?” Aiden mumbles mostly to himself as he stays still on the sofa. Sarah takes a seat beside him, taking his hands into hers.

“She’s been using an assumed name in the States, she’s actually-“ “Namjoon can you shut the fuck up and give us some space, and get these snipers out of here, I’m sure I’m not in grave danger” ___ intervenes and Namjoon just nods as he takes a step back and does what he was told.

“My mother is the twin sister of the current King of Korea, we moved to the states when I was 4 because my father wanted us to live a sorta normal life. Sarah is just a name I thought fit me when I was 4, it was the name of my baby sitter” ___ shares as she laughs at the last part. She looks up at the room, watching as the men in uniform file out of the room, not brave enough to look at Aiden yet.

“So, um, you’re ___?” “Actually, the correct protocol for you to address her is Your Royal Highness Princess ___ and there after Your Royal Highness” Namjoon intervenes once again as he just stands there.

“You don’t need to do that and can you give Namjoon and I a minute, he wouldn’t have broken in if it wasn’t life and death” ___ asks and Aiden just wordlessly walks into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

“I think I have been pretty clear-“ “Your Highness, we do not have time, I need you to get to safety now, things will be explained then” Namjoon says as he picks up her jacket and places it in her lap.

“Is it my brothers, is it my parents, what is wrong?” ___ asks with a small voice, the worst scenarios flashing into her mind.

“It’s not them, but it is very serious” Namjoon is usually a strong, confident man, but tonight, he looks shaken up.

“Where is he, everyone’s here but him” ___ asks Namjoon as the rest of her family walk into the jet. Her father has the same shaken face Namjoon did and it’s not easing her one bit.

“He’s was in London, he’s on his way to Seoul right now” Namjoon says as the rest of the security team walks into the jet. There’re just confused and anxious faces all around, and the unrest just grows

“So, as of the last we know of the situation, a team of assassins broke into the blue palace’s ball room during the engagement dinner. Security blackout protocol was put into place as soon as the first gun shot was heard, so we haven’t been made aware of the escalation yet.” A man ___ has never seen before announces to the family and her mother clutches onto her even tighter as tears escape her eyes.

“We’ll reach Seoul in the next ten hours, all your cell phones and personal devices have been seized by the security team to make sure we aren’t being tracked. I’ll notify you as we get more information, but in the meantime let’s just hope that the royal family is safe” the man with a stone-cold face says and ___ can’t believe that this isn’t a nightmare.

There is a pit in ___’s stomach as soon as the jet it takes off. ___’s father and elder brother continue talking to the security detail as ___ sister-in-law holds her daughter tight and her mother sits motionless.

There’s stillness in the air as the family walks on the tarmac, without much questioning they get into separate cars to a location that they don’t know about. Namjoon is quite through the ride, ___ not having any energy to ask him anything anyway either.

The car pulls into one of the royal estate outside Seoul, one ___ grew up in. Once again, the family takes a seat in the formal living room, waiting for the head of security to share some details.

“So, we now know all the details of the situation. The late king was shot in his cheat twice, he passed away on the way to the hospital.” The head of security stops talking for a second to catch a breath as he wipes a tear that escaped his eye.

“Prince Eugene was shot in his chest and leg and is in surgery right now. His late fiancé, Ms. Yuri Lee was also shot on her chest, and passed away in the royal ball room.” He continues talking and ___ can hear her mother and sister-in-law sobbing away.

“The Queen has a gunshot in her arm and is currently under surgery as well, The Queen Mother wasn’t harmed by the gunmen” the word late king are still ringing in ___’s head as she tried to take deep breaths to calm herself.

The security head continues talking as ___ spaces out, her head is spinning and she wants to lay down. She has flashes of the pictures her cousin sent her just earlier that day, how happy he was when they talked to each other earlier that week, how hope full he was, how much he was looking forward to his life and pregnant fiancé.

“What hospital is Eugene at? I want to be there when he wakes up” ___ finally talks and the all the people turn around to look at her strangely.

“Ma’am it’s critical to your security that you don’t leave the premises” Namjoon speaks from beside her and she looks around as the rest of room agrees with him.

“My cousin who just lost his pregnant fiancé is under life threatening conditions and I want to be there by his side to comfort him, I’m not integral to the royal lineage anyway” ___’s voice is agitated as she looks at her mother and older brother, Wonik.

“___ you’re being irrational and emotional right now-“ “Yes, I’m being irrational and emotional because loved family members passed away and the one I love the most might be too, aren’t I allowed to be irrational and emotional right now” ___ shouts as she cuts off her brother and he just gives her a resign look as her mother walks closer to talk to her.

“You should go, Eugene needs family right now, Mr Park send the maximum-security detail with her, Namjoon, stay by her side. Take care” she says as she brushes her hands and people around them get to work on her mother’s orders.

There is this eerie silence in the hospital hallways as ___ paces around. She restless and needs a cigarette but she’s too dazed to ask for it. The red-light indicating operation in-progress is giving her a migraine but she can’t look away.

“Do we know where in the chest he was shot?” ___ asks and Namjoon goes back to the security report he was handed the second they entered the hospital.

“A quarter centimetre away from the royal prince’s heart” she hears and takes a seat, there’s no clear thought in her head, she’s trying to imagine him coming out of there alive but she’s never been a positive person.

It’s somewhere around 9 am when ___ jerks herself awake and feels a jacket over her and a head on her shoulder. Her eyes barely register him at first but she completely does in a second.

“Yoongi?” she asks mostly to herself, thinking this is some kind of nightmare. The minute it completely registers to her, she engulfs her brother in a tight hug, tears finally escaping her eyes.

“He’s going to make it, I’m sure, he’s always been a fighter” Yoongi mumbles to her as he pulls away to wipe off her tears. There’s thick silence in the room as ___ rests her shoulder on her older brother’s shoulders.

___ is laying in her childhood room as the doors open and a group of people. A Woman lay out black dresses for her to choose from, as another opens the curtains and other lays out a fresh set of breakfast.

“Ma’am the funeral service is scheduled for 9 am, and you’re expected to be there by 8:30. It’s 7 am right now and it important that you’re on time.” Her lady-in-waiting tells her as ___ rests her back against the headboard. It’s been a week since this nightmare started and it’s been non-stop string of heartbreaks and bad news.

“You are expected to be presentable with a bit of makeup as the press might photograph you but no bright makeup” Sora continues talking as ___ reads a string of texts from Aiden on her phone.

“I’m fully capable of dressing for a funeral for half my family, can you all please give me some privacy” ___’s voice sounds broken as the women walk out the room and close the door behind them.

She stands up and draws the curtains back to stop the sunlight from coming in, walking into her bathroom, she lights a cigarette as she looks at herself in the mirror. She looks sick and the tears haven’t stopped since she broke down in front of a team of doctors at the hospital. Eugene, his fiancé, her uncle and aunt had been dead for a week, her mother had been accessed as the Queen. In a matter of week, her world had been flipped upside down.

Yoongi is waiting in the entryway for the rest of his family to arrive, he fixes his tie for the nth time tomorrow as he fidgets. He hadn’t seen most of his family for the past few years and he constantly feels nauseous, at the brink of throwing up. He observes as his niece is holding her nanny’s hand as she prompts them to walk towards him.

Yoongi had only seen the three-year-old Jia in pictures ___ sent him every now and then. Jia finishes eating her banana as she studies Yoongi and he’s feeling more and more uncomfortable as she walks towards them.

“My mother told me that you’re my uncle” Jia finally speaks as the nanny goes to throw away the banana peel. Yoongi just nods and Jia stands very still and very close to him.

“Why didn’t you come to my birthday parties, aunty ___ always came and brought me the biggest presents and she would always buy me flowers too, she told me they were presents from my uncle, are you that uncle?” Jia asks with a small voice and Yoongi is a bit too stunned to hear this.

“I think so, I’m sorry for missing your birthdays, I lived kinda far away” Yoongi lies about the last part but is very earnest about the first parts. Jia just nods as she contemplates but it ends with a smile.

“It’s okay, I kept the flowers by my bed. How did you know sunflowers are my favourite?” Jia asks and Yoongi cracks a smile as well, he noticed how similar their smiles are.

“___ told me” he shares and the three year old nods in agreement, Yoongi is expecting another question from her but she simply reaches over to fix his tie. Yoongi is taken aback and maybe flinches a bit but just looks down at her tiny hands centring his tie.

“My dad’s tie is always a bit at the side, he asks me to fix it for him sometimes” Jia shares and Yoongi is feeling less and less nervous, but there’s more sound coming towards the hallway and he tenses up.

“I miss my friends, mom tells me that we’re going to have to live in Seoul forever and I don’t want to” Jia shares and the sound of heels towards them intensifies.

“I’m sure your friends miss you as well,” Yoongi says not addressing the last part of the question, he doesn’t want to be selfish and think about that right now but it’s been eating him alive.

Two people walk into entryway at the same time, ___ and Jia’s nanny and he’s a bit eased by them, especially ___. Yoongi looks at her sister with worry, he can smell the cigarettes on her as she takes a seat beside him. Jia lights up seeing her aunt and immediately reaches to hold her aunt.

“I found out that he is sunflower uncle, he does kind of look like a sunflower” Jia shares and ___ cracks a smile. The nauseous feeling is almost gone but returns back as Yoongi looks up to see his parents and brother and sister-in-law ready and walking towards them as well.

There isn’t much talking as everyone stiffly hears to the security detail tell them the plans for the morning. His mother constantly has her forehead wrinkles and all he wants to do is ask if she’s okay, but how can she be okay right now.

Yoongi feels like an outsider watching his family discussing something, he watches as his brother picks up his daughter and hug her tightly, his father trying to comfort her sister as another tear slips out hear eyes as they walk to where the service is happening. He’s a few paces behind them, they’re so used to him not being around, and it is all his doing.

Wonik has written a beautiful eulogy for their family, he’s already acting like a king in making and it’s strange to Yoongi, these were never supposed to be their roles. ___ is following her father as they get some last-minute work done before people start arriving. This isn’t the Min family he remembers, they look functional and loving from an outsider’s perspective.

Yoongi is blankly staring at his family at work as he takes a seat at his assigned seat. He’s too zoned out to notice Haein, his brother’s wife take a seat beside him.

“Jia was telling me all about meeting you today” Haein shares and Yoongi just shares a pleased smile, even tho it might be inappropriate right now. There’s awkwardness between them because Yoongi barely knows her, the last time he saw Haein was at their wedding, he remembers that night very vividly.

“I always read about your music label in the news, works been good?” Haein continues the conversation and Yoongi nods before clearing his throat to speak.

“Yes, it’s been fulfilling. ___ told me you got promoted at the firm before all this happened” Yoongi is biting his tongue as soon as he says that, because Haein’s face only falls more.

“Yes, but this is our life now” she says as she watches his husband discuss something with her mother.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought that up” “It’s alright, this is all a tragedy out of our control” Haein responds with a melancholic look and Yoongi just nods looking at his sweaty hands.

The funeral and service are exhausting physically added onto the mental exhaustion. Midway through the service ___ makes a beeline towards one of the back door hoping it provides her with some privacy.

She swings the door open to a man in a suit smoking in the corner, he had the same ideas as she did. She looks behind her as she shuts the door, and the sound of that immediately alerts the man.

“I’m sorry, am I disturbing you?” ___ asks as she takes a seat on a bench facing him. The man is alert, too alert, like he forgot what the royal protocol is.

“No, you aren’t Your Royal Highness” the man in a crisp black suit says and ___ chuckles, not used to all this formality yet.

“Can I borrow a smoke? My brother has confiscated my pack” ___ asks with an extended hand, like this is more of an order than a request. The man wordlessly hands him a fresh cigarette and bends down to light it for her. ___ watches as he very cautiously comes close, he’s close enough for her to see a scar on his cheek.

“I don’t know you, so you’re not from my extended family” ___ states and the man looks at her with confusion for a split second before it registers to him.

“Yes, late Prince Eugene was a senior with me in college, he is like a mentor to me, was” the man says, repeating the last part mostly to himself.

“That, um-“ “You don’t have to comfort me your royal highness, I’m sure you’re grieving immensely too” the man interrupts her and ___ just takes a long drag.

“What’s your name, maybe Eugene talked to me about you?” ___ asks after a few seconds of silence and he’s about to answer when the door burst open, ___ turns around to see Namjoon.

“Ma’am your mother is about to go talk to the press and make the speech, you’re supposed to stand with her for support” Namjoon says and ___ immediately jumps to her feet.

“Yes, thank you for this and the talk, can I ask one last favour from you?” ___ asks as she smooth’s out her dress and put out her cigarette.

“Can I steal the pack off you? I have a long afternoon and I can’t just go and buy myself a pack” ___ asks and the man complies with a small smile handing the pack of cigarettes and lighter.

“Take care” the man says and ___ mumbles a small thank you before turning away.

It’s been a month, a long, long month of doing nothing. The residence had the prime minister, business men, financial advisors for the country and other countless important people coming out and in. The siblings have been laying low, Yoongi is getting used to being around family but he desperately wants to go back to his studio in New York. ___ has officially resigned from her job at the hedge fund she started just six months ago. Wonik is still the working for his tech firm, but he’s probably going to have to resign and Haein who barely started as a junior partner at her law firm has quit her job. Their mother, who was a professor of sociology at NYU is now the working as the head of the nation as the queen and lastly their father, part owner and CFO of a hedge fund is in the process of selling in his shares. This bunch of highly successful working people have now been sequestered in their Seoul mansion.

Today was just another day of the week, ___ didn’t even know it was Monday till her lady-in-waiting Sora reminded her of it. It was an important Monday because the family had been called together to have a joint meeting with the press team.

“Hello Jia and Yoongi” ___ says as she enters the dining room and watches the uncle and niece duo who had bonded quite a lot eating breakfast.

“Can I have a toast of sourdough, scrambled eggs with two eggs, half an avocado and chilli oil on the side, also my two shots of espresso with a splash of milk.” ___ asks the cook who nods and goes into the kitchen to get her breakfast going.

“What are your plans for today?” ___ asks Yoongi but Jia is the one who starts talking.

“I am going to a new pre-school today and then I have Korean lessons and then my mom promised me that we will bake a cake before dinner” the four-year-old shares, ___ and Yoongi have delighted smiles on their faces.

“Wow a three-year-old has a more eventful day then me, how about you oppa?” ___ asks and Yoongi hurriedly chews before answering.

“I have a few meetings with a new artist that joined and discussions about an upcoming album, before that we have that press meeting thing, and later I’ve asked to talk to mom and dad about something” Yoongi answers as he takes another big bite of this delicious breakfast.

“Talk about what?” ___ asks as she continues to sip on her water, her skin’s been taking the hit of all the smoking lately and she’s been trying to be healthy. Yoongi doesn’t answer but he rather looks at Jia who’s been done with her breakfast and then at her nanny to take her. The two of them mumble a few good lucks and love you’s as their niece excitedly leaves for school.

“I need to talk to them about returning to New York before we’re assigned any royal duties. I have to, they need me back there, I have so many projects open that need to be delivered soon” Yoongi’s voice is stressed as he shares, he’s been working non-stop since they day they were given back their laptops.

“So, what’s the plan, are you going to like, leave the royal family?” ___ asks with genuine curiosity as the cook brings her food and coffee.

“I haven’t been a part of the family for 7 years now, I don’t think I am a part of this family anymore” Yoongi says more as a matter of fact and that hurts ___ a little.

“They were unsupportive of you wanting to do music, yes. They were very strange when you came out, most definitely, doesn’t mean you’re not a part of this family anymore” ___ says with a soft voice and Yoongi finally looks up from his breakfast.

“___ the world isn’t ready for a gay member in the royal family, if I leave it’s going to be easier for all of us. Imagine the outrage and backlash mom would get, I can’t put her through that” Yoongi says and ___ has altogether stopped eating.

“I’m just not going to be a royal anymore, I’ll still be your brother, I’m still your family” Yoongi reassures with a comforting tap on her hand, prompting her to eat.

“Mom has you and Wonik here, Wonik is already coming into shape as the future king, there’s no space for me here. I have nothing to offer here and I have a boyfriend and business waiting for me in New York.” This is the most Yoongi has talked in the last month, ___ is glad that he’s talking but she doesn’t love the news.

“Okay, have me there when you have the talk, you’re going to need back up with dad” ___ says and Yoongi nods and both of them go back to eating their breakfast.

“Hey, I need to talk to dad before we have the meeting” ___ says to her father’s assistant who just nods and checking a few things on the computer and then standing up to knock on his door.

“___, what do you want to talk about?” her father is in an oddly chirpy mood and it’s throwing ___ off.

“Yoongi is going to come in with a request later to you and mom and I need you guys to be parents rather than members of the royal family” ___ asks as he takes a seat behind the desk.

“What is it?” “He’s going to ask to leave the royal family and I need you guys to let him” ___ asks and her father has a shocked look on his face.

“Why-“ “Father he has a major business-“ “So did I ___, that’s not reason enough to walk away from this” “He’s been publicly out as a gay man for years, he has a loving boyfriend you think the press and people of Korea are going to be kind to him, the news is going to rip his to shreds, it’s going to break him and I don’t want my brother to go through that I hope you guys don’t want your son to go that either” ___’s voice goes up a bit as she stands firm on what he’s saying.

“Leaving the royal family is much more intense than when he left home, there are protocols and procedures in place, I don’t think this is feasible for Yoongi, or anyone right now” her father retorts and ___ sighs, the problems they had in the past seem like champagne problems compared to right now.

“We have to find a way for him, you and mom can’t force Yoongi into royal duties. If he doesn’t leave with a good relationship with you and mom, the thin thread that joins him to this family is going to break” Mr Min feels a tinge of guilt due to ___’s words, he knows what she’s saying is right.

“But-“ “No dad, he’s planning on leaving nevertheless, won’t it be better if you make the process a happier one for him” ___ pleads and her father takes a deep breath.

“If he leaves right now it’s going to make the monarchy look weak, worse homophobic” her father says in a small voice and ___ sighs taking a seat.

“Then let’s not word it as him leaving the royal family, just him continuing to pursue his business and life. We never expected this to happen, our family had a very low probability, we have lived our lives so far as if this was never going to happen to us. Put that out, ask people to be kind as you let your son live out the life he wants to” ___ says and her father nods in agreement with her.

“Why did you come to me with this rather than your mother?” Mr Min asks after a few seconds of silence.

“Because I came to you in the past about him and you didn’t take me seriously and things turned pretty sour. Because I wanted to give you a chance to be a better father to Yoongi” this time he does let the guilt show on his face and ___ can see it very clearly.

“It still isn’t a great look for us, one of the children leaving the royal family even before your mother is coronated” Mr Min says and ___ sighs with aggravation, this is not a winning game, some body has to lose and she’s going to make sure it’s not going to be Yoongi.

“Dad, have you seen the articles written about him already? Have you seen the kind of articles written about me. We’ve been living our lives as tho we were never a part of the royal family and all of sudden you want us to be royals. You married into this, you chose this, we didn’t” ___ has tried to not let the articles get to her, but it’s starting to.

“You were born into this, this is your birth right” He states boldly, getting agitated himself. ___ knows arguing is going to get them nowhere.

“If you mother and I were to let him leave, what would we get in return?” “A chance to fix your relationship with your son” ___ answers but by the look on his face she knows it’s the wrong one.

“I have a proposition, if, hypothetically, we were to agree to let him leave, you in turn would comply and agree with all the tasks, duties and asks that come with being a royal princess, no debating, absolutely no arguing” Mr Min knows his son is difficult and doesn’t always agree, but he also knows that her daughter will fight things to no end if she doesn’t want to do it.

“So, Yoongi’s freedom will cost mine” “Absolutely not, I’m not taking away your freedom, I just want a conformation from you that all the tasks, duties and decisions that come with securing your position as the royal princess, you’ll do them with all of your heart” he may frame it differently all he wanted, but it was still one’s freedom for the cost of another’s.

“I don’t understand why you want me to agree to this, do you really think I’m not capable of being a great fucking royal princess” ___’s getting agitates, all this talk of tasks and duties is pissing her off a bit.

“Because ___, I know that you’re mad, I know you’re so angry at this twist of fate and I know that seeing your brother walk away from this will make you want to as well, and I absolutely can’t allow that” he can read his daughter pretty well, and the crossing of arms were a clear indication of her trying to not be angry.

“So, in return, you want me agree to all the ideas and decisions that you’ll want to make for me in the future, correct” ___ finally words it and Mr Min has a guilty look on his face as he nods a yes.

“I can do that for my brother”

The father and daughter are late to the press meeting and heads turn to them as they take seats in the family room.

“What have the two of you been up to?” ___’s mom asks and her father answers before she can. “___ just wanted me to look over her termination contract, everything is in proper shape and good to go”

“Okay, now before we start with this, I just want to say a few things, I know that last few weeks have been difficult and unexpected. But I am grateful to have you all by my side, my sons and daughters and especially my husband, you all have rallied around me and helped me navigate through this difficult time. I never expected to be the Queen, it was supposed to be my brother, then Eugene and their family so forth. I am not prepared for this role, I may be immensely educated but yet I am not ready for this. But I am going to need you all to fill in everywhere that I am lacking and I hope that we’re all able to serve our birthright as the members of the royal family” the queen says with a stern voice, she’s in much better shape than she was a few weeks ago.

“Thank you, your majesty, for the words, we’ll all be keeping those in our minds. I am Kim Sera, head of the press office for the Queen’s office, but right now, due to the situation, my office will be working for the entire royal family. For now, the country and the family is in mourning for the tragic loss that we’ve faced, the media is being soft with us, but as many of you do know, they have not been so. We’re in the process of dropping your US citizenships, and conversations around this have been bubbling already. With every piece of word that’s spoken by you, every action, the American-ness needs to not be there, absolutely no talking to the press or citizens in English, only and only Korean” the woman in a sharp blue suit says and a lot of what she’s saying is worrying Yoongi.

“For each of you, I have a file of what encompasses as royal duties for you. There are allotments based on your previous work, role in the family and most importantly the age of the country that resonates with you. Have a look at it, understand what your duties are and most importantly, if you have any special interests that you wish to venture into, we’d be happy to facilitate it” she continues talking and ___ sits up straight as an assistant hands her a thick file.

Ms Kim goes on and on about do and don’t what brands they can and can’t wear, what their social media’s are going to look like, boundaries with people they knew previously and much more invasive topics. ___ tunes in again as New York is mentioned again.

“As per the Queens recommendation, Princess Haein and Princess ___ along with a team will be flying to New York to facilitate the move process, all the possible arrangements have been made. They are scheduled to leave this Thursday and return a week after, please have a look at your security protocol for being abroad” Ms Kim says and another file in handed to ___.

“This is all from my end for now, I’ll be back with more details on your royal duties. Any questions for now?” Ms Kim asks and it’s just a room of blank faces who have to digest a lot of information. She just nods, bows and leaves with the rest of her team.

“Haein remember to take the codes of all our safes, I don’t have a list of all the jewellery but there are these specific earrings that I do need for my first appearance” the queen asks and Haein nods, already taking notes.

“I’ve arranged a real estate agent to sell our apartment in the city, have you both decided what to do with yours?” Wonik asks, looking specifically at their mother. Their New York City apartment was very precious to the family, they grew up there, the Queen really came into her own in that house.

“Let’s just keep it for now, we have decided to keep all our assets as is for now” their father answers and the queen nods with a conflicted look on her face.

“Have you had dinner yet?” a voice booms from the door and Yoongi turns around to see his mother standing in his doorway.

“I haven’t, I’m not hungry” Yoongi answers sitting up straight and putting away his laptop immediately. Theres this tension in the Queens eyes as she takes a seat on the bed besides him.

“You don’t eat a lot, you’ve gotten so thin” she says and Yoongi chuckles, looking up for a second, every time he sees her, he just sees how similar they look.

“How’s work been? Are they able to manage without you?” she asks and Yoongi goes back to the mental notes he’s taken for this exact talk.

“Busy, hectic, but they’ve been managing, barely” Yoongi says and the queen nods in understanding.

“I really liked the last song that you worked on, Moonlight. I read that you wrote and produced it” he’s caught off guard by this, and doesn’t do well with hiding his surprised face.

“Most of the music you work on is rap and pop which I don’t understand, but that ballad is beautiful” she continues talking and there’s this feeling of approval that Yoongi is feeling that he didn’t even know he could.

“I didn’t know you listened to music I work on” Yoongi says and his mother just nods as she rubs her hands together.

“I’m sorry” she mutters and a tear escapes her eye and it shakes Yoongi up, not expecting any of this.

“We could have been better parents to you, been more supportive, more loving” she says as she looks at him intensely and that’s what gets Yoongi teary eyed too. He doesn’t know what to say, he barely talked to his mother in the last 7 years, it’s like he’s forgotten how to.

“The lyrics you write are so full of hurt and agony, it breaks my heart” she keeps talking as she wipes her tear and reaches for her son’s hands. There’s a thick silence as she brushes his rough hands, she wonders why they’re so rough.

“But I don’t want this estrangement between us anymore, it physically hurts me when I can’t muster up the courage to pick up the phone and ask you how you are, if you’ve eaten, wish you a happy birthday” a sob escapes her mouth as she thinks back to all the time she’s missed out on. Yoongi wants to say something, comfort his mother, but all he does is stay frozen as a few more tears trail down his cheeks.

“Do you hate us now, have we damaged this relationship past a point of repair?” she asks and Yoongi can feel her eyes on him, for a moment he lifts his head. The sincerity and sorrow on her face is evident and he had to bite his lip to stop a sob.

“No,” his voice is small as he lets go of her hand and stands up to get the two of them some tissues. He sits back, a bit closer as he watches his mother wipe away tears and try and compose herself.

“Now, I know you wanted to talk to your father and I together, but I wanted to come and talk to you myself in an attempt to be a better mother and queen” she stops talking for a second to wipe off the last of tears.

“I discussed with your father and I hope that you like this proposition as well. As you know, members of the royal family aren’t allowed to have businesses and work other than their royal duties. And I understand and realise the hard work and years you’ve put in building your music label. So, I would be happy to let you continue your work in New York.” She says and a sense of ease washes over Yoongi.

“In order for you to do that, you’d unfortunately not anymore be a part of the royal family or be in line for the throne” she continues and Yoongi nods with understanding.

“I was going to ask you both for the exact same thing, your blessing to exit the royal family” Yoongi confesses with a faint smile on his face, grateful for how things are working out.

“But you’ll still be a part of our family, and I want you to be a part of lives, be our son, brother and uncle” she says and Yoongi nods aggressively.

“Would it be okay if this announcement came out in a few months, if I do it right now it would look like the monarchy is weak” “Of course, and I am sorry too, for making your job much harder, there is probably going to be speculation about this, articles about me and who I choose to love” there’s a strain in his voice as he says the last part.

“That’s the least of my worries,” she says and both their eyes focus on his phone that is lighting up on his phone, she is particularly focused on the picture man he’s hugging on his lockscreen.

“This brings me to the last thing I wanted to discuss” she says and Yoongi sits up straight once again, not remembering anything else they had to discuss.

“We’ve decided instead of selling our brownstone we gift it to you so that you live there and I’m assuming here, with him” she says as she points to his lockscreen. Yoongi is once again flustered and at a loss of words.

“It’s too generous mom, and you love that home” Yoongi argues and the queen smiles, she’s feeling her son ease around her a bit.

“Yes, and now it’s yours, this is my way of keeping it in the family. It’s a beautiful house that you now get to make it into your home. Plus, it’s so much better for security, we had all kinds of systems installed and I want you to be safe and happy, in a big beautiful house.” She retorts and Yoongi huffs crossing his arms.

“I’ll have to talk to him, I can’t just make this decision on my own” “Of course, but you guys deserve this, it’ll definitely earn you some brownie points with your boyfriend” she jokes and this is all a bit too shocking to Yoongi right now.

“When will I see you again? You promised to teach me how to paint” Jia cries into Yoongi’s shoulder as he crouches down to be at her level. Yoongi can’t help but coo at her whining niece.

“I’ll be back soon, I promise. We’ll paint and play with your tea set an entire afternoon” Yoongi promises as he brushes her hair out of her face. Jia looks at his face for a second, trying to see if he’s lying to her. Softly, she extends her pinkie for a promise and Yoongi gladly does as she says.

“Sweetheart, he’ll be back soon” Wonik says as he softly picks up her daughter and holds her close to his chest as she still has an unhappy look on her face. Yoongi looks at his brother and they can’t look at each other in the eyes still, it’s still very awkward.

“You take care, have you hired a security team?” this is the best Wonik can come up with and for a brief moment it warms Yoongi’s heart.

“You too and yes I have, I’m going to be fine, nothing to worry about” Yoongi says as he walks away from his brother to say good bye to his parents.

His mother has the same sad look she had the other day in his room while his father is still stoic as usual. Yoongi just bows to him as hugs his mother, she’s clutching onto him quite tightly.

“Call me often, send me pictures, write less sad songs and eat well, you got it?” there’s almost a hint of threatening in her tone, like she’s ordering this as the queen.

“Got it, take care” he mumbles as he pulls away from her. With a solemn look he turns around and takes a seat in the car where ___ and Haein are already seated.

“So, who’s ready for a fun week of packing” ___ says as the car pulls out from the driveway. There are a few reporters clicking away as they make their way to the main road. Nobody still used to the constant paparazzi.

“So, I have a game plan, I take up our place, it should take two days, meanwhile, you get done with yours. The parents place should take three days at maximum if we’re both there to look over it. For the two free days, I’ll go and say goodbye to the people and office and meet up a few friends. ___ you remember to break up with your boss/boyfriend, it shouldn’t take more than two days right?” Haein looks at ___ very seriously and ___ has a very incredulous look on her face.

“Yes, two days are quite enough to breakup with my boss/boyfriend” ___ voice is dripping with sarcasm and Haein just smiles coyly.

“What were you even thinking sleeping with your boss, what’s he like 33, what is he even doing dating a 21-year-old” Yoongi asks and ___ groans burying her head in her hands.

“He’s 29 and he’s British and very handsome and so so good in bed, do I have to break up with him” ___ asks and all she hears is scoffs.

“Yes and don’t sleep with him, you aren’t Sarah anymore, you’re Princess ___ now, you represent the monarchy” Yoongi answers and Haein chuckles in agreement.

“That’s very rich coming from a former member of the royal family” ___ retorts and Yoongi gives her a very stern look.

“Sass me all you want but your choice of men is still trash”

The apartment seems bigger with no furniture and just big packed boxes. ___ sits on the kitchen counter as she drinks wine directly from the bottle, she’s already donated all her dishware. She’s online reading another article about her past boyfriends, they’re all oddly all similar looking. ___’s not used to reading about her like this, people speculating who all she’s dated based on her social media history, which is now all gone.

The bell rings and she springs off to open the door, she knows exactly who’s on the other side. She takes a moment to compose herself before she swings the door open.

“Hey” “Hello, Princess ___” Aiden responds sarcastically as she lets him in, this is no going to be easy.

“So, it was just a chill Monday morning for me, I was looking forward to my girlfriend being back in town, suddenly there’s a NDA from your lawyers, a lot of ambiguous language that basically translated to me never being able to publicly talk about my “relationship” with you” Aiden spills out the second she shuts the door, he’s been holding onto this for a while.

“So, technically we have never dated? I’m just your boss that you had a close professional relationship with” Aiden continues as ___ massages her head.

“Aiden, this is out of my hands, I’ve been ordered by my press team to do this” ___ says and Aiden scoffs, he takes a moment to look around the empty apartment, where they’ve spent many nights together.

“Don’t hide behind it-“ “Aiden I am not hiding behind it, I lost important and loving people of my family over a month ago, my entire life has been turned upside down, people in the press are calling me a slut because I dared to date people in college, the future that I looked forward to now looks dreadful, my life is not what it was a month ago and all I’m trying to do is take the right steps to not destroy my family and the monarchy. Don’t you think all this is also hurting me, don’t you think that I didn’t want to do this but have to for the greater good?” ___’s yelling all the things that have been frustrating her for a while now, things she hasn’t been able to dwell on yet.

Aiden is silent as he watches her huff with anger. “Just sign the NDA, as a parting gift to me” ___ says and Aiden takes a deep breath, not saying what he wants to.

“Why are you going along with all this nonsense, you’re a smart woman, snap out of this princess fantasy” Aiden speaks and it’s the final straw for her.

“No, I am a dumb woman who wants to play dress up for the rest of my life, cut ribbons and make insignificant speeches, for the rest of my life I want to be a public figure that people get to ridicule and speculate about. Is that what you want to hear Aiden” the tears she’s been holding back for a while finally escape her as the new reality is dawns.

Aiden walks closer but ___ stays firm, she’s had enough of this, she’s tired. “I thought what we had was real, I am definitely in love with you and tell me you don’t love me, because I know you Sarah” Aiden tries the gentle approach this time.

“We are done Aiden, just sign the NDA” ___ asks with a soft voice and she can see the he’s hurt, it’s evident in his eyes.

“I already did, I sent them to your lawyers before I came here” that’s the last thing he says before he slams the door on his way out.

Yoongi is jolted awake with the bell ringing and simultaneous banging on the door. His eyes barely open as he looks through the peep hole to check if it’s another reporter and give them an earful for waking them up at 1 am. It’s someone else but they’re still going to get an earful from him.

“You were supposed to be here for dinner, what took you so long” Yoongi asks ___ and then looks at Namjoon standing just a few steps behind her.

“She was drinking at her place and waiting for her ex to come over” Namjoon answers for her and ___ just sighs pushing past her boyfriend.

“Okay, what’s in that bag?” Yoongi asks pointing to the bag she’s carrying to the kitchen. ___ doesn’t answer, instead she rummages through a few drawers.

“Ice cream, snacks and cigarettes” Namjoon answers for ___ once again but she just nonchalantly takes out a big tub of ice cream and starts eating it. The two men watch her stuff her face with chocolate chip ice cream and exchange looks with each other.

“Namjoon, you go and get some sleep, I’ve got it from here” Yoongi says and Namjoon just nods and leave. Yoongi watches ___ for a whole minute as she continues to eat ice cream like a sugar depraved child.

“___ you want to talk about it?” Yoongi asks as he walks over to her. ___ just mumbles a no as she takes another spoonful, he sighs and gets her a glass of water.

“Honey?” A voice booms from one of the bedroom and Yoongi sighs as he walks closer to their room.

“I’m downstairs, ___ just came home” Yoongi answers as he quietly contemplates what to do. He’s deep in thought watching his sister when he hears footsteps.

“What’s wrong with her?” Jimin asks with a groggy voice as ___ removes a tub of strawberry ice cream, finding the chocolate to be too over powering.

“She broke up with her boyfriend” Yoongi answers as he lays his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, he’s had a long few days himself.

“You go back to sleep, you have work in the morning. I’ll deal with this” Jimin says seeing how Yoongi can barely keep his eyes open.

“Are you sure?” “Positive” “Okay, but absolutely no drinking” “I promise”

“So, you wanna smoke a joint with me and eat ice cream after?” Jimin asks and ___ nods finally putting down her spoon.

“It is ridiculous that you’re taking two suitcases full of trader joes snacks” Yoongi comments as he steps out the car on the tarmac. A long line of luggage is being put into the private jet, finally packing up this New York chapter.

“If we had more space, I would have taken a lot more” ___ didn’t care if she was paparazzied shopping at trader joes, she needed her fix.

“I can just send you a care package anytime you want, I can send you all the snacks you want, whenever you want” Yoongi’s tells and ___ smiles just for a brief moment.

“Can I not go, just stay here and ignore the life that is waiting for me in Seoul” ___ whines as she locks her arm with Yoongi.

“Come on, it’s going to be an interesting challenge. You were looking for a challenge like this just few months ago, this is universes weird and cruel way of presenting it” Yoongi has been choosing to deal with death in their family with sarcasm so far and people don’t love it.

“The press team wants me to go to college, make me more relatable to the youth” the file that the press team sent her a few days ago has been bothering her ever since she read it.

“College is fun, isn’t college in Korea mostly drinking and going out, that’s right up your alley” the sarcasm doesn’t seem to be working so far on ___ but Yoongi loves the annoyed look she gives him.

“The worst part of that press file was a timeline of my life, apparently, I’m supposed to start dating someone with the intentions of marriage by 2023, get married by 2025 and have my first child by 2027. The worst of it all, I can’t just keep dating someone because mom disapproves of them because apparently, she’s the queen now” ___’s using sarcasm to hide the actual horror she felt by reading that file.

“Well, if it all gets too much, fly to New York and smoke pot with my boyfriend and then lie about it to me. You can always do that” Yoongi accuses ___ with a stern tone and she just sighs as they stand in front of the flight stairs.

“Jimin promised to not tattle on me” “You both were high out of your mind last night watching tv and shouting at the Bachelor for giving the rose to the wrong person, he didn’t have to tell me” Yoongi states with a straight smile as he recalls being awoken by laughter multiple times last night.

“I was going through a lot” “Yes, but the invitation still stands, pot and otherwise” Yoongi says as he pulls in his younger sister into a tight hug. He is truly going to miss ___ showing up at their apartment at drunk at night.

“I love you, I’m going to miss you so much and you better take good take of yourself” Yoongi mutters into her hair and ___ nods clutching onto his very tight as well.

“Love you too, you take care too, make me lots of money” ___ jokes as she pulls away from him, her desperate attempt of keeping it light right now.

“Take care Haein” Yoongi says to a very tired Haein who smiles politely as she reaches over for a side hug.

“Jia has gotten attached to you, she’s going to ask to talk to you all the time now” Haein remarks and Yoongi giggles thinking of his four year old niece.

“Just let her, I’ve gotten attached too”

With a tinge of reluctance, ___ straps in the seat belt as they begin take off. New York City truly looks like the city of dreams, more so because now it’s just a part of ___’s imaginary dreams.

2024

The ballroom is light with soft yellow lights and jazz music as prominent people continue to file in. It’s late January and tonight people have gathered for the third coronation anniversary for the Queen. These events are less about celebrations and more of a networking event, with people in their fanciest outfits.

Last four years have been a shock to the system for everyone in the Min family. The members struggled to find their place as public figures. Every member was still fumbling around with their positions, making it look like they’ve got it together. Wonik, Haein and Jia are by far the favourites, constantly being photographed out and about as family, and Haein being pregnant with their second child is definitely helping. The Queen has been the best of all with her eloquent speeches and a nation rallying behind her, her husband doing absolutely everything to help her in the background. Yoongi laid low for the initial few months after he left, there are always articles stopping a formal royal and his boyfriend but they bother him less and less every day, his label has absolutely taken off, him on the verge of releasing an album himself.

 ___ compared to her family, struggled quite a lot to fit into her role. The few initial months of royal duties were difficult for her, she’s a naturally outspoken and opinionated woman and people don’t like that a lot. Things eased for her quite a lot as she enrolled for a masters in international studies, the press now lovingly calls her the number 1 campus crush. Her existence as a royal was to appear like a poised, educated woman in her mid-twenties so that she was desirable to all the men in her country, how vain.

She stands behind the rest of her family to make an entrance, she used to feel nauseous coming to events like these, but she’s found the right amount of small talk and always a glamorous dress. Theres clapping and bowing as they enter, a few minutes of formality later and everyone goes back to their drinking and celebrating.

“It’s unusually cold for January isn’t it” ___ tells to a man who cornered her right as she walked in. Not that she was disappointed to, he’s a handsome young man, who like most people in this room comes from immense amounts of wealth and privilege.

“Yes, January always makes me miss Chicago-“ “The cold makes you miss a much colder city?” ___ asks with amusement as she takes the smallest sip of champagne.

“Contrary to what people assume, Seoul is much colder in the winter, and with my family around it gets just so much more icier” the man says with a very straight face and ___ laughs out loud, catching the attention of a few people around them.

“Oh, I like you, you’re funny” ___ confesses and the man stands there with a charmed smile.

“How has it been for you your royal highness, you must miss New York” the man asks and ___ stifles a scowl as she takes a much bigger sip of her drink.

“It’s all a faint memory now, Seoul and Korea are my present and future” she says just as instructed my Ms Kim, yes, they had pointers to talk about when New York was mentioned.

“I read that interview about your hidden food gems in Seoul, your press team really fed you some good ones” the man says and he watches the look of awe on the princess’s face.

“I didn’t know I came off that transparent in my interviews” ___ question is a bit pointed but her smile says otherwise.

“You don’t, but as someone who’s been media trained my whole life, I can see the signs” the man confesses as he polishes off his drink, so does ___. She’s out of a response and it’s like the universe knew of it as Ms Kim clears her throat, bringing both their attention to her.

“If I could talk to Princess ___ for a few moments, we have something urgent to discuss” she states and the man passes ___ a charming smirk before taking a few steps away from them and asks her to come find him later.

“You can socialize with the grandson of the Samsung chairman all you want but don’t go falling in love with him” she states and ___ chokes on her drink, still not used to how straightforward she is.

“Now, I know this could wait till tomorrow, but I’m just too excited about it” the more Ms Kim talks the more confused ___ gets but she just continues to wordlessly follow her. They stop right by a man in a grey suit as he continues to talk to Wonik. ___ knows what this is all to well by now, he’s another man she’s going to be introduced to as a romantic partner and things are not going to work out, again.

Ms Kim clears her throat once again, and the men turn around promptly. ___ was expecting another handsome man who has been a tremendous success in field but also comes from a great lot of privilege, what she didn’t expect was Kim Taehyung.

“Princess ___, I wanted to introduce you to your new press secretary, Mr Kim Taehyung.” The words are ringing in ___’s ears and she doesn’t do much to hide the shocked look on her face as the man bows to her.

“Since your royal duties would get exceedingly demanding soon enough, I thought it would be a perfect time for you two to become acquainted with each other” Ms Kim looks at ___ expectedly and all she does is extend her hand. A warm, stiff hand shakes her and it’s almost like she’s being shaken back to reality.

“It’s a true honour for me Ma’am” Taehyung finally speaks up, his voice, deep just as she remembered. ___ just nods, afraid she’s going to say the wrong thing.

“I’ll just let the two of you talk, get to know each other. Prince Wonik, lets go and make those introductions now” Ms Kim is gone as swiftly as she came and once again ___ is standing in silence.

___ looks around, hoping there aren’t any eyes on them and swiftly gets a hold of Taehyung’s sleeve as she finds them a quiet corner.

“Namjoon, I just need some privacy and I bet my new press secretary isn’t looking to kill me, are you?” ___’s voice is agitated as she holds back the women’s room to restrict her bodyguards entry.

“I assure you there is going to be no killing happening tonight” Taehyung mutters as he stands behind the princess, not entirely believing in what he’s saying.

“Yes, so just make sure no one comes in, we need to discuss a few things” Namjoon begrudgingly takes those orders as a door is slammed on his face. The moment ___ turns around, Taehyung can notice how red her eyes are, maybe it’s the alcohol, most likely it’s the anger she’s feeling against him.

“You’re not taking this job” ___ announces as she takes a few steps forward, Taehyung just moves backwards, he should have expected some of this anger.

“I’m sorry, I would have called to ask you first but you changed your number and I’ve already signed a contract” Taehyung tries to reason and ___ finally stops in her tracks.

“Contracts are broken all the time, and you and I both know that I can’t have someone who I used to date working for me” ___ says calmly, Taehyung just sighs as she crosses his arms.

“But we didn’t date that long” he finally speaks after a long stretch of silence and ___ finally looks up at him. He is right, they didn’t. ___ didn’t think that that would hurt, but it did a little bit, how could a old wound hurt.

“Yes, we just dated for three months, I told you who I really was, what my plans for the future were and you dumped me out of nowhere” ___’s voice may be soft, but her words are harsh.

“Because you had plans to live in the US, I wanted to return to Korea, I simply did not want us to invest in a relationship that would just end in a whole lot of hurt. I didn’t know that your life would have these turn of events” Taehyung states and ___’s scoff is very loud in this room.

___ hasn’t said something for a whole minute and it’s starting to terrify Taehyung. He takes a few small steps towards her, this time she is the one walking backwards. He can see how distressed she is just by how tightly she’s gripping her arms.

“Why did you say yes to this job?” “Because it is a pivotal career move for me, how rare is it for a role such as this to be offered to a 30-year-old rather than a 50-year-old, this kind of experience can set me up for life” ___ does get an answer but it doesn’t make her feel better one bit.

“I don’t come with a background and pedigree like the rest of the people in that ballroom, people haven’t offered me jobs because I’m related to someone, it has all been because I work hard and get the necessary results.” Taehyung’s compassioned words finally force ___ to look up.

“Anything that was there between us was, god, eight years ago. I will understand if you don’t want me to take this job, but please reconsider it for a minute” Taehyung pleads and he can see it working because of the soft look on her face.

“Okay” ___ mutters softly as she moves past him, stopping right by the mirror to fix her appearance before they leave.

“Okay? Oh my god thank you, you are not going to regret this ___” Taehyung has a big smile on his face as he turns around as well, but the sharp look on ___’s face makes it disappear instantly.

“I’d assume my press secretary would know the proper protocol to address me is either your royal highness or ma’am” she speaks and Taehyung once again takes a step back.

“I’m sorry ma’am, that was the last mistake I make” he apologizes as he watches the princess go back to fixing her lipstick. He’s feeling fear and excitement for what lies ahead, but for now, he chooses to focus on the excitement.

February in Seoul is feeling colder compared to what Thailand felt like. ___ rolls into the palace still in a summer dress and sunglasses and earns a few looks just in a few seconds. She’s too relaxed from here vacation to care.

She would have gone straight to her apartment, but she had been asked my Ms Kim and her press secretary to make this stop, probably some bad news they wanted to share while she still had her vacation buzz.

“You summoned me?” ___ asks as she plops her handbag on the table, she’d been in this office way too frequently for her liking in just the last month.

“Your royal highness, how was the vacation?” Taehyung asks in the nicest tone he can muster up while he takes away all the files from her reach.

“Amazing, I think I’m still drunk” ___ boasts with a wide sarcastic smile as Taehyung nods awkwardly.

“Well, Ms Kim and I just wanted to discuss some of your upcoming royal activities and the pictures of you that have been circulating online” Taehyung whispers the last part because he can see the sharp look coming.

“What pictures, the one of me drinking, or the one of me smoking with my friends, or the public favourite, the one of me in a bikini at the beach” “The ones of you smoking ma’am” says a voice from behind her and she knows the voice too well by now.

“Have you had a few strong drinks Ms Kim, the urge to smoke after them is crazy and let me tell you, you would do so much better after a few strong drinks” ___ says as she turns back to type something on her phone.

“That may be your opinion ma’am but as a member of the royal family you can’t be paparazzied smoking-“ “If I may interrupt, the vacation pictures are actually pulling in positive opinions for Princess ___, the people like her more when she behaves like a college student, which she actually is” Taehyung speaks and the two women are looking at her, one more fiercely than the other.

“While I appreciate these theories Mr Kim, these opinions are not substantiated-“ “Actually they are, me and my team have been using this social listening tool and Princess ___ positive favours have been on a significant rise since the pictures came out” Taehyung came prepared with all the facts and figures and ___ won’t accept it but she is a bit charmed.

“And this lead me to a few more insights, rather than having the princess at business events for companies that were built a 100 years ago, how about we have her focus on the demographic that actually likes her” Taehyung continues talking as he picks up another file, which he now hands to both the people.

“The monarchy is seen as a positive figure by the people 50 and above and there has been a growing younger population that doesn’t see a need for it. Let the princess cover that demographic, they already like her” ___ has a small smile on her face as she watches the scowl on Ms Kim’s face grow.

“Highschool kids, people in college, young professionals, the population that lies within the age group of 15-35, these are the part of the population that the princess needs to be seen with rather than 70-year-old men who are chairmen to billion-dollar companies” Taehyung is speaking with a lot of conviction because he’s done his research on the topic but the unwavering look on Ms Kim’s face is still affecting him.

“Mr Kim, we have a structure in place, while you might have the figures, we can’t just go around changing the entire set up” Ms Kim says as she continues reading the files she’s been handed.

“I’m sorry but the more the princess goes to the events and duties you have been putting in for her, the worse press she’s been getting, I don’t think the structure has been working so far” Taehyung rebuttals and ___ is trying her best to hold in her gasp, some popcorn would make this perfect.

“The plan I have laid out, uses the princesses’ strengths to her favour rather than forcing her to pretend to be someone else. She is a charming, delightful person and I feel like the people deserve to fall in love with her rather than an uptight princess who’s out of touch” Taehyung is done speaking as he rests against the table and Ms Kim is showing just how flabbergasted she is.

“Alright, but I will have to have the queen’s press team approve of these new royal duties” Ms Kim is showing a lot of sass today and ___ is totally loving this.

“I already did a week ago and have received all the necessary approvals, the queen actually had a look and she was quite impressed” ___ looks at Taehyung who looks quite cocky and proud as he hands her a few more files.

“So, Ms Kim, what was it that you wanted to discuss with me after all” ___ asks as he looks up at a little bit upset Ms Kim. There haven’t been a lot of victories for ___ in the past few years but this one feels like a huge one.

“Nothing apparently, I’ll see you Mr Kim at the Queen’s briefing” “I’ll be there bring and early Ms Kim” the two of them watch Ms Kim walk out that office and ___ immediately erupts into cheers, so does Taehyung, and for a second of ill judgement they’ve about to hug each other when he pulls away and takes a step back.

“Oh my god, you did so good, sticking it to her so good” ___ continues the cheering as she sits back down, letting the awkward second just pass away.

“My motive was not to ‘stick it to her’, I did that because I could not stand another bad article being written about you” Taehyung says as he walks back behind his desk, maintaining the appropriate distance.

“But this is good, the stuff you have in there is the kind of work I will enjoy doing. The kind of work that makes me feel like a human being rather than a puppet” ___ is a little too excited as she goes back to the file, something she has not done in the past few years.

“I am glad you think that I’m doing a good job your royal highness” Taehyung feels a little relaxed as he sits back in his chair, Ms Kim could have very easily thrown out his weeks out work down the drain, but she didn’t.

“Now, if I remember correctly your third semester starts in three weeks” he asks as he opens up his calendar, now is when the real work starts.

“Yes” “Okay, we’ll ease in with the new demographic and will be starting off by you attending a celebratory party for a game company, they’re launching a new game and have invited young celebrities, influencer and young age reporters. I was able to pull a favour and get you an invite to the event” Taehyung talks and ___ has a concerned look on her face.

“You want me to attend a nerd event” “The game company is so popular with the demographic and most importantly, they don’t sexualize women in their games” Taehyung shares and the concerned look starts to go away.

“And another thing I really wanted to discuss, you really need a stylist preferably someone who comes with a makeup team” “Do you not think I have good style Mr Kim” ___ asks and he knows he should have worded this differently.

“That is not what I meant, you’ll be doing a lot more public appearances now and each will require a specific look and I just want people to be falling in love with you and we like it or not, it starts with your appearance” Taehyung once again thinks he might have misspoken but the small smile on her face is saying otherwise.

“Alright, so let’s get me a stylist and have people falling in love with me”

A massive hotel room was booked and the top stylists around the city were asked to come and present their ideas. The minute they heard that they were presenting to the princess, all their ideas were centred around royalty and elegance, nothing too original about it.

“If I see one more ostentatious golden down, I’m going to throw a fit” ___ mumbles to Namjoon as the next designer continues to set up their boards and presentation.

The person who’s setting up for the next designer giggles as ___ continues to complain. This catches both Namjoon and her attention.

“Hoseok, was it, does your bosses presentation also have a collection of ostentatious gowns?” ___ asks as she sits up straight, and the man in a very green outfit just nods as a looks around scared.

“I had a few better ideas but he’s a senior and I didn’t want to be fired” “If you were to style me, what would it look like” ___ is genuinely intrigued because of how boring this morning has been.

“I made a few mood board for you, but for the Golden Games event, I had a more glamourous dress in mind, something with cut outs and more flowy rather than structures, something that shows off your figure and personality rather than hiding it” Hoseok speaks as he hands ___ a iPad with very well designed mood boards. She continues to slide until she comes to the dress he’s talking about, and it’s shocking how much ___ likes it.

“The dress is Versace and I have contacts with the brand to be able to source the dress, for jewellery, since the dress is so loud, a pair of earrings from a local Korean brand called Sia, all of this can be sourced” He continues explaining and ___ is seeing her vision come to life for the first time.

“How much trouble would you be in if I wanted to hire you instead of your boss?” “So much, but it’s all worth it”

“What is wrong with you, why would you do that Ma’am” are the first words out Taehyung’s mouth as she walks into his office. ___ just scoffs as she takes a seat on the brown leather sofa, she’s come to find this sofa a bit more comfortable than she’d like to be.

“What do you think I did now Taehyung” “Why would you hire a junior stylist instead of the senior one, she has the kind of experience and contacts you need” Taehyung mutters as he massages his head, it’s been a long week, all he wants to do is go home.

“I liked him more, his style embodies my essence, plus he found me this super sexy dress and everyone else just wanted me to look like any other royal” ___ speaks and Taehyung finally looks up, she wonders what she said forced him to look up.

“See this is why I wanted you to hire a senior stylist, your outfits can’t be too outrageous, I had specific guidelines-“ “Taehyung, he is the one who enforces all of your anal requirements for me, no senior stylist will ever do it. And it’s not sexy in a way of being too revealing, but rather in a fitting and tasteful way” ___ is used to cutting of Taehyung and seeing the “Oh” look of realisation on his face.

“I assume you’ll be joining me for the event, picked out your finest suit?” ___ asks as she opens one of the mini water bottles, Taehyung’s noticed that she’s always needing a bottle of water or snack when she’s here, he’s arranged a small basket full of it.

“I have a personal thing that I can’t miss, but I’ll make sure to drop off the talking points for tomorrows Charity Gala” Taehyung has been quite literally buried with work, turns out doing a good job requires a lot of work.

“My first event as ___ with new approach for the new ‘demographic’ and you the chief manipulator of it all won’t be there, what’s the personal thing that is more important than your job?” ___ is a bit too sassy for 11 am, she’s had two coffees and no breakfast today.

“It’s my mothers first chemo appointment and I just want to be there, even if she doesn’t want me to” Taehyung knows he’s oversharing a bit, but being the oldest sibling and not talking about this with anyone else, it was bound to come out. The minute he looks up, he realises how guilt stricken his boss looks.

“I’m so sorry that I made a joke about that, of course you have to be there, make sure to leave early, and you don’t need to drop off the talking points for tomorrow, I’ll have someone pick it up” the worry in ___’s voice makes Taehyung smile a bit, it’s almost like he was wanting to someone to worry about him.

“Okay, but I’ll have Yena by your side, she’ll be at your place by 9, be ready by then. Also” he trails off as he sits up from his desk chair and picks up the report he’s been asked to hand her.

“I can’t fight Ms Kim, the Queen and your father on their need to find you a husband, I’ve gotten Ms Kim to agree that the most you’ll look for is a boyfriend with husband potential, so you’ll really need to get started with it. These are the options, I’d hope that you’d stick to this list” Taehyung hands ___ a thick file with a tiered list of potential partners. ___ sad for other reasons now.

“Can’t I just meet someone and fall in love with them naturally” “You are the royal princess ___ of the nation of korea, anyone you fall in love with first will be for strategic reasons to reaffirm the standing that the crown has with the people of our nation,” Taehyung repeats with a specific tone that Ms Kim uses and ___ just sighs as she stands up. For a second, their faces are mere inches from each other before Taehyung takes a step back and lets out a cough.

Years ago, she used to smell of flowers and spring, today she smells like vanilla and winter.

Everything about ___ is glowing, be it her hair, legs, dress, jewellery and even eyes. She has this glow she hasn’t had for years now and it’s a bit startling even to her. She’s quite used to public and private appearances like these, she knows her camera angles, which smiles the paparazzi like the most, what small talk do people like, but these always is this pit of nervousness in her stomach, but it’s gone as she looks at herself in the mirror.

Hoseok can see the glow, it’s glaringly obvious. It’s like the pit of nervousness has been transferred to his stomach, he knows just how make or break today’s outfit doing well is.

“Yena honey can you help me with these earrings” ___ asks as the makeup artists finishes with the lipstick.

“Let me” a voice booms by the door and no one in the room has to turn around to know who it belongs to. The entire room is scrambling to stand up and bow, but the queen just asks everyone to be at ease, she just wants to chat with her daughter.

“By the way mother, this is my new stylist Jung Hoseok, he’s the reason why I look so ravishing today” ___ brings Hoseok in the front as the rest of the team continues packing, done with making her look all pretty.

“Thank you, Mr Jung, ___ does look like she’s blooming” the queen’s compliment catches the two of them off guard. Soon the entire room is empty, with just the mother and daughter sitting by ___’s broken coffee table.

“Honey, you do look gorgeous, I haven’t seen you happy like this in a while” the queen says and ___ can’t help but show her a wide smile.

“This is your first event by yourself, all prepared?” “Yup, Taehyung quizzed me on my answers and I have flash cards for the small talk I’m sticking too. Hopefully I dazzle everyone tonight and the press finally writes something positive about me” ___ says as she fidgets with her earring, Hoseok warned her of how heavy they were, and it was already starting to get to her.

“You found a good partner with Taehyung, he really understands you” the passing statements from the queen has ___ thinking of Taehyung once again, he’s probably already at the hospital, she should text and check up on him.

“I’m sure you’ll be wonderful tonight, but that is not why I’m here tho. I got a call from Yoongi earlier today that he’s planning on going on a tour once he releases his first solo album. He wanted to ask my permission to schedule tour dates in Korea. Your father and I are unsure as it could go either ways from our perspective, I wanted to know your opinion on this” ___’s a little stunned by this, her opinion hasn’t really mattered to her family much, ever. ___ stands up to get some water, wanting to thing this through.

“I think him performing in Korea will be kinda great, it would show to the press and the people that even tho he’s not a royal yet, he’s still part of our family and always welcome here. Sure, there may be a few articles about him and Jimin, but we could easily divert that by me attending the concert with a few friends, even Wonik and Haein if they agree to it” ___ explains as she pours some sparkling water into a glass, she’s been on a strict diet for this dress and the soda craving doesn’t go away.

“I think so too, but your father is really worried about the bad press” “Mother we need to stop being so terrified of the press about this, Yoongi is gay, which is a completely normal arounds most of the first world country. We have to stop teetering around it like it’s a taboo subject. What is Yoongi has a boyfriend, someday, he may and a husband and are we still going to be so afraid of the negative press, would that stop you and father from attending his wedding” ___ speaks with the kind of composure that has her mother stunned, she’s finally coming into her own.

“You think they’re going to get married?” the queen asks and ___ rapidly nods her head, knowing she and Jimin had talked about this just a few weeks ago.

“Jimin found a ring in Yoongi’s office and he thinks he’s going to ask soon, Yoongi hasn’t talked to Jimin’s parents about it, but we think that he’s going to on their next trip to Korea, for the tour” ___ may be oversharing, but Yoongi would never tell her all this anyway.

“___, um, you think, Jimin’s going to want to ask for Yoongi’s hand?” ___ can see the guilt striken look on her mothers face, she doesn’t have the heart to tell her that Jimin’s already asked ___ for that.

Jungkook can feel his heart in his mouth, he’s nervous beyond words but in his suit and slicked hair he barely looks so. At important events like these, he remembers when the first game he put out around 5 years ago. He’s loved video games and as an overworked coder, he somehow still found time to put out his video game. The game didn’t make any noise for two years, but suddenly, one night it blew up. The past three years have been a whirlwind full of success, new beginnings, starting a company, making money beyond his imaginations and working more than he has ever before.

“All the last-minute checks for the event have been made, the cars have been sent for the VIP guests” Han tells Jungkook as he continues to adjust his cufflinks.

“The event company has informed me that the press has arrived and is waiting for the guests, taking in the delay from the proposed time for the unveil, you’ll go on stage at 10:05 and unveil the walkthrough for the new game at exactly 10:23. The walk-through ends at 10:28 and you end with a small thank you speech and get off stage for pictures with guests at 10:30. I have the list of the attendees that you have to absolutely take a picture with, do you want a reminder right now?” Han asks and Jungkook just nods a no, he opens his watch drawer and contemplates which one to wear tonight. The first Rolex may be the way to go but he could also wear his father’s watch for some good luck.

The drive to the event is filled with Han going over all the details but Jungkook has practically tuned him out, he’s more focused on what to do with his hands during pictures. A peace sign would be too dorky, crossing his arms may look too serious and hand in pocket may look weird with the jacket.

“So, I have arranged for you to greet all the guests as they go in for a photo op, this makes sure that you have face time with all of our most important guests” Han continues talking as they step out the car. Jungkook can see the beautifully set up venue, with the on-theme décor and paparazzi already waiting for it all.

“I’m going to go in and do some final checks with the event, why don’t you stay here, get some lip service with the press, most important of it all, stay on subject” Han leaves with one last bit of information and Jungkook just nods trying to muster all the confidence her can.

“Congratulations!!!” Mingyu hollers as he sees Jungkook right before going on stage. The two friends hug each other, first time tonight when Jungkook greets someone comfortably. They met ages ago, in high school and even tho Mingyu is a high-profile model, they’ve stayed close.

“I’m so nervous I may throw up” Jungkook mutters to his friend as he adjusts his suit, it’s right at that moment that there’s a loud commotion, and all the sudden, the press if focused elsewhere.

The two men silently try and focus in on the cause of it all, their eyes stay fixed as a woman with a glamorous golden dress and her shiny hair come into focus. She isn’t just any other woman, she’s princess ___, and that just makes Jungkook more nauseous.

“She’s beautiful isn’t she” Mingyu mutters as the men continue to shamelessly stare as the princess walks closer to the event.

“Breathtaking” Jungkook can feel a few cameras on himself too, but he can’t help but look away. Everything about her grabs his attention, her smile, the flowy hair, the dress.

“Okay, she’s coming closer, I’ll go and smile for the cameras and see you inside” Mingyu leaves with one final tap on his friends back while Jungkook stays turned around, waiting for the princess to come closer. He contemplates if he should walk closer to greet here, and Han is tapping is shoulder before he decides.

“The royal protocol is you bow first, and the formal greeting is your royal highness and ma’am after that, go on, walk to her” Han instructs and Jungkook follows, suddenly right in front of her. He bows like instructed and so does she, ___ looks at her expectantly, and suddenly Jungkook’s forgotten how to speak.

“Congratulations Mr Jeon, now I haven’t played video games ever, but people in my office love playing yours after hours” ___ takes the lead and Jungkook can’t help but smile widely.

“Thank you, your royal highness, hopefully, the people in your office like this one as well” he says as they walk to the stage, at a very glacial stage.

“Oh don’t start with the your royal highness, call me ___, please” ___ says with a small smile, picking up her dress ever so slightly to walk better, the heels are definitely taxing.

“I’m not going to do that, my assistant may actually shoot me if I don’t follow the royal protocol, he’s briefed me on it a hundred times since your RSVP’d” Jungkook jokes and ___ can’t help be a bit charmed by his toothy smile.

“Oh, I don’t want to be the reason you get shot, on a very important day for you after all” the two of them have totally stopped by the stage for this conversation, disregarding all the cameras.

“He’s quite strict, right now, he’s probably accounting all the extra time we’ve taken up to talk and adjust the timeline for the rest of the event” Jungkook jokes, despite how nervous he is, he doesn’t want the princess thinking he’s not funny.

“Oh well, not to make his job too hard, I’ll go on stage and be pretty before you get into more trouble” ___ says as she takes a step back, but still not moving. He eyes go from his big bright eyes, to his many ear piercings, to his folded over shirt collar. Her instincts tell her to just reach and straighten it, but she smiles and indicates to it, suddenly all aware of the cameras.

Jungkook shyly nods as he fixes her collar, looking back at her. “Thank you for this, and coming here” “Thank you for inviting me, and come find me inside” she says as she walks away.

Han had been feeling breathless all day, he’s been working towards this for this last three months, and that was just the event. He thought he would almost faint the moment Jungkook misspoke during the presentation, but to his relief, his boss just laughed and continued on. As Jungkook gets off the stage, done with the formalities of it all, the dinner is served and he feels like he can finally breath again.

“Where am I seated for the dinner?” Jungkook asks as he unbuttons his suit jacket, if it were up to him, he would have removed it all together.

“With your family,” Han says as he leads Jungkook to the assigned table, they stop every now and then as people congratulate him.

“I’ll go and see my parents, but if you could find me a table on the princesses table, she asked me to come find her” Jungkook speaks with a small smile, when up on stage, he could see her very clearly in her golden dress, she listened very intently for someone who doesn’t play video games.

“I’ll see, Mingyu has been keeping her company so I’ll move him or ask her safety officer to move to the next table” the thought of Mingyu chatting her up suddenly has Jungkook a bit bothered, but before he can think more of it, his mother engulfs him in a warm hug.

“Have you taken your medicine?” Jungkook asks his father as the first course is being served. Han texted him that moving anyone is not possible right now, he’ll have to come and find her once dinner is over.

“I did, you need to stop worrying about me, and celebrate your success today” his father says with a gentle tap to his hand. Jungkook worries, constantly worries after the minor stroke his father had a few months ago.

His brother is busy talking to his wife, so are his parents and the sudden quite at the table forces Jungkook to look around. He sees a room full of the most important people to his and his country as they continue to chat away, the room is full of voices and constant sound of cutlery.

He sees his senior team as they discuss something, he sees a table full of influencers as they continue to be on their phone, the table full of his investors among the many tables around him. But he’s looking for one specific one that he just can’t spot yet.

“Who are you looking for?” Nari, his sister-in-law asks as the dessert is served. On a normal day, Jungkook would absolutely be attacking this dessert, but he just doesn’t have the appetite today.

“Princess ___” Jungkook answers honestly, he’s known Nari for years now, she’s not someone he can lie too. Nari giggles as she turns around in her seat, trying to spot the princess and she immediately does.

“She is quite dazzling, very royal. She doesn’t attend events like these, how did you even manage to invite her?” Nari asks as she takes a bite of tiramisu. Jungkook smiles as he thinking back to a letter that Han explained over a month ago.

“It’s a secret”

“I’m speaking at a college tomorrow, it’s a panel about a complicated topic that basically means how important it is for women to be in higher education” ___ shares with her new friend Kim Mingyu. Tonight she’s seated with Mingyu on one side and Namjoon on the other, there are other business people on the table that she hasn’t bother to talk to much. They had disappeared after dinner to socialize themselves.

“Wow, you’re getting your masters right?” Mingyu asks as he takes a sip of his champagne, now that the dinner is done, there’s a more causal feel in the banquet room, with free-flowing drinks and talk.

“Yes, that reminds me that I have to meet one of my professors about some study material he’s assigned” ___ shares as she nurses her second gin and tonic of the night. Her new friend chuckles before he drowns his drink entirely.

“I never went to college, I was scouted during high school. It happened at a game room that Jungkook and I were leaving. Jungkook was scouted too, but he had his eyes set on Seoul University” Mingyu shares and flashes of Jungkook in his double-breasted jacket and crinkling eyes as he smiles come back to her.

“That’s where I’m speaking tomorrow, Mr Jeon’s alma matter” “Mr Jeon?” a voice booms from behind them, its Jungkook with two drinks in his hand.

“Namjoon scoot over, let Mr Jeon sit” ___ nudges her security officer who has a very straight face that scares Jungkook, he just smiles shyly as he takes the seat next to the princess.

“No Mr Jeon, just Jungkook your royal highness” “Well, that can only happen when it’s ___ instead of your royal highness Mr Jeon” Mingyu watches this banter and in a blink of a second, it’s almost like he’s invisible, not that he’s complaining. He’s observed his best friend look at the princess with stars in his eyes all evening, still Mingyu isn’t sure it’s being he’s enchanted by her or because she’s a princess.

“Actually no, it has to be your royal highness or ma’am for him, there’s way too much press here for him to address you casually” Namjoon interjects and ___ has truly never gotten over Namjoon being the straight man.

“You see ma��am, you come with rules that I just can’t look past, now I’m afraid he’s going to shoot me” Jungkook jokes taking a double take to the very muscular man to his other side, a man who can definitely take him down.

“But I am younger than you, ma’am makes me feel middle aged” ___ complains as she reaches over for one of the glasses of champagne Jungkook brought over. She’s breaking the two-drink rule tonight.

“Ma’am is for respect, your royal highness you are third in line to the royal throne” Namjoon interjects again and ___ wants to reach over and punch him, but she knows it’s only going to hurt her.

“Can we step away for a moment, for a smoke maybe” ___ asks Jungkook and he’s immediately pushing his chair back to stand up while Namjoon mutters a no.

___ has been in this hall for another gala before, her special talent has become finding hiding spots from the crowd all around the country. She’s walking a few steps ahead of Jungkook as they take up the stairs to the balcony. ___’s about to look back to check if he’s still there and at that moment she wobbles in the heels for the first time tonight.

“Careful” Jungkook’s voice is just a notch above a whisper as his hand comes around her waist to steady ___, through the cut around her dress, she can feel his warm hands on her cold waist. The warm feeling on her waist and suddenly all over her body makes her wobble again and Jungkook just chuckles keeping his hand firmly on her waist for support.

___ almost sighs out loud when his hand drops the second, she’s at the top of the staircase, but she just picks up the pace and tries to open the loud, creaky door as quietly as she can. Jungkook stands back for a second as he takes it all it, the princess standing against the railing with a wide smile as she turns to look back at him. Jungkook knows he’s being impulsive, there are a lot more people back in the room whom he hasn’t had the chance to talk to yet, important people that he needs around for business.

There’s almost no talking but Jungkook can read ___ pretty well, she has a different look now than she had back in the room, back there it was more glamorous but now it’s more natural. Jungkook watches as she slips off her heels and sigh with relief, she looks a bit shorter next to him now and he has to look away to smile and try and control his blushing.

“My brother has threatened me to stop smoking, so I have stopped for a while, but it’s still a good excuse to get away” ___ looks forward into the beautiful garden as she speaks, she can spot some roses and they look lovely in the winter night.

“I did too, my father had a stroke a few months ago and it set me straight” Jungkook answers as she leans against the railing, turning towards her ever so slightly. It’s mid-February so it’s still quite cold in Seoul, which is quite evident with the way the princess keeps rubbing her arms and shiver. Without much thought, Jungkook slips off his jacket and places it on her shoulder, the sudden movement causing her to look up at him.

“Is your father doing well now?” “I have forced my parents to get a dog which in turn forces them to go on walks twice a day, so there’s some progress” Jungkook remembers the day he showed up with a small puppy in his hands, that has for a record been the most his mother has been mad at him.

“Creative problem solving, so you do have the qualities that make you this successful” ___’s tone isn’t the one of humour, but that of fact stating and it validates Jungkook very much.

“Honestly, I mostly write the code still, my brother is the CEO because he’s actually run businesses for years and went to business school” Jungkook explains like he does to most people, he doesn’t see himself as this successful founder most of the times, just an ordinary coder.

“That is why you aren’t on my list, you have to be a CEO or be part of a family business dynasty to be on my list” ___ had been handed a list customized for today right as she sat in the car, so far she’s spotted five people from that list at this event.

“A list?” Jungkook asks with curiosity, the princess confuses him, he wants to ask her many more questions.

“A panel of people consisting of the queen, my father, their press secretary, my press secretary and a few other advisors have devised a list of prospect husbands for me, or at least boyfriends as I fought back. Me being a 25-year-old single princess doesn’t sit right with a lot of people, especially that panel” ___ answers in a very matter of fact way, these things are a fact of life for her, but the shocked look on Jungkook’s face is saying otherwise.

“They have a spreadsheet with a life plan for me with multiple routes of actions, actions that help me establish my position with the people and also help the crown. But the most prevalent plan is me having a husband by 27, a child by 30, because even if I am a princess, I am still someone who has to be a wife and mother” Jungkook can sense some bitterness in the princesses’ words, but he is dumbfounded on what to say, which is very clear on his face.

“I’m sorry to be trauma dumping Mr Jeon, I have no right to complain. I am a wealthy, privileged princess and these complaints are childish” ___ says with a soft smile, she feels comfortable to talk to him for some reason, she just wants to keep talking and empty her brain, and heart.

“Well, do I still stand to score a date even if I’m not present on your list” Jungkook says with a light chuckle, he couldn’t have mustered up the courage to do this if not for the three glasses of champagne. His biggest fears do not come true and she doesn’t turn and boo at his face, but rather she has a big smile as she holds his jacket tightly.

“Score a date, mind you Mr Jeon you’re talking to the royal highness princess ___, third in line to the royal throne” ___ jokes as she takes a step closer to him, she’s still a bit cold and in need for warmth. To her surprise, he doesn’t pick up on her joke but rather stiffen up as his face falls.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-“ “That is exactly how I want, need you to talk, drop the formalities and score a date with me, ___” she has a bright, gorgeous, wonderful smile as she takes another step forward. His eyes are following her hand as they reach over to fix a piece of hair.

“Oh” he mutters as her hand travels downwards, to the collar that was once out of place. There is absolute silence and deep breaths as both her hands come around his neck, his jacket falling off her shoulders right at that second.

Compared to a confident smile that ___ usually wears, she now has a small, shy one. If it were any other man, he would have instantly captured on this moment, but Jungkook isn’t just any other man. He’s a bit clumsy and somehow it adds to his charm.

“Ask me out again” ___ instructs and all the sudden the wheels in Jungkook’s brain are working again. He bites his lip anxiously as he finally does something, circling his arms around her waist, she may not need some steadying right now, but he does.

“Can I take you out, to my favourite barbeque place that feels so comfortable in a behind alley somewhere in Incheon. We could share some soju and I get to know you, ___” Jungkook barely whispers her name, worried someone other than her is going to hear him. To his shock, she isn’t confidently saying yes to this, but rather, hiding her face around his chest, he’s worried if is heart is beating too loudly.

In a moment of confidence, Jungkook beings his hands up to ___’s face. For a second, he sees her more as a vulnerable, shy, 25-year-old ___, rather than a confident princess. It doesn’t surprise her, but he rather wants to see the former ___ again.

“Tell me, you want me to pick you up on my bike and take you out?” Jungkook asks again, her sudden lack of confidence fills him with it.

“Yes, but only if I get to wear a cute pink helmet” ___ talks once again and Jungkook has to take a deep breath to calm himself down.

“Of course, do you have a specific pink?” Jungkook asks and ___ gets on her tip toes to get closer not to his lips, but his cheek. His grip around her tightens as she leaves a soft peck on his cheek, leaving an imprint of her salmon pink lipstick.

“I wouldn’t dare to wash my face after this, but I need to get a few more pictures taken for the press” Jungkook confesses as the two of them stand still, not wanting to move away, just yet.

“Do you have a napkin?” ___ asks and Jungkook immediately drops his hands around her to look for something in his pockets, he does find the napkin he’s been using all night to wipe away the sweat, hopefully, she can’t smell any of it.

The cheeky twinkle is back as she places the napkin against her lips to leave an imprint. He stares at it for a second too long as she hands it back before folding it and placing it back in his pocket.

“I think we should get going, you should be talking and networking with people, taking in all the praise” ___ talks as she bends down to pick up his jacket, rather than handing it back to him, she’s helping him putting it back on.

“Yes ma’am” Jungkook jokes as he takes a step towards the door, ___ mocks some anger as she scowls her mouth but he just chuckles as he keeps the door open for her.

“I want to ask you something that’s been gnawing on me all evening” Jungkook asks the princess as they reach the end of the stairs.

“What?” “What am I supposed to do with my hands when I get photographed?” the genuine anguish behind Jungkook’s words makes ___ giggle, this just adds to his clumsiness.

“There are two options, you either keep one hand in your pocket and other beside you, or, my favourite one, have a date, so you always have something, or rather someone to hold” ___ says and now Jungkook is the one blushing.

“Where did you disappear to?” Mingyu asks as the princess takes her seat back at the table, most tables are empty now, everyone standing around and chatting about one thing or another.

“Just here and there, talking to people” ___ replies with a cheeky smile as she reaches over to her handbag to find her lipstick and reapply it.

“Well, I’m throwing a surprise celebratory afterparty for Jungkook, a few of our common friends are going to be there, lots of booze, I’ve reserved the rooftop of a hotel to party our heart away. You should come” Mingyu asks, trying to help out his friend who’s clearly interested.

“The party isn’t much of a surprise as Jungkook already asked me to join too, but like I told him, I have an event early tomorrow and I absolutely can’t be hungover for it” ___ tells like she told Jungkook, who retorted with ‘Then you’ll blend in right with all the rest of the hungover students’

“That’s too bad, you seem quite fun and Jungkook can’t take his eyes off you” Mingyu teases as they both catch Jungkook looking right at ___ as someone continues to talk to him.

“I can’t either, but I have duties, royal duties for which I can’t slip up even a little” ___ is going back to being a princess after a few fleeting moments of being herself and there’s nothing she can do about it.

“Ma’am, should go around the room, there are some people Mr Kim wanted you to talk to, we’ll have to leave after that” Namjoon says from right beside her and at once she stands up, understanding that the work needs to be done.

Jungkook’s watching from a distance as the princess goes around, more like people coming and finding her one after the other to share a word. She dazzles each, making them laugh, people definitely walk away a bit awed and definitely charmed by her.

She talks to a few important people in business, fan girls over a celebrity or two and it’s right as she’s about to leave when she looks around to say goodbye. Jungkook spots her wandering eye immediately and excuses himself from a much boring conversation.

“Leaving so soon ma’am?” Jungkook asks as he walks closer, Han just a step behind him.

“Yes, I have royal duties tomorrow as well, the princess duties don’t stop” ___ says with a bit of a pout, something Jungkook finds incredibly adorable. ___ can spot an impatient man standing behind Jungkook, she assumes it’s the assistant Jungkook spoke off.

“Mr Han, I wanted to congratulate you as well, this event that I was told you’ve been working very hard towards and was quite fun, hopefully the game will be too” ___ finally addresses Han and he as opposed to Jungkook, bows with quite conviction.

“Thank you your royal highness” “Can I walk you out ma’am-“ “Actually you still have a few people you’re yet to talk to” Han interrupts Jungkook and ___ can’t help but laugh out loud.

“I see you’ve got an interrupter yourself, you better listen to him Mr Jeon” “I better, we’ll it was delightful to meet you, I’ll definitely being seeing you soon your royal highness” “You will”

___ struggles to use a cork screw, but she finally has a glass of wine in her hand. She got back at her apartment few moments ago and the rush of all that has happened today is all coming back to her. She hasn’t done this kinda thing in months, years, and all she can still think about is how good he smelled, how big and warm his hands are, how his laugh forces her to smile, she feels like a giddy teenager with a crush.

All ___ wants is to get out of this dress, but the zipper seems stuck and she just might have to ask one of the security officers to help her out, no matter how embarrassing it is. It’s like the universe can hear her thoughts, because the doorbell rings right at that second.

“What are you doing here?” is the first thing ___ asks as she opens the door, swinging it open, not just anyone can ring the doorbell, security lets them through first, and she is utterly shocked seeing Taehyung here, in the same suit he was this morning.

“I wanted to hand these myself, it is your first speaking engagement with me as your press secretary after all” Taehyung says pointing to another folder filled with documents.

“How was the appointment, come on in” ___ says as she takes a step back and Taehyung walks behind her, not used to seeing ___ in such glamourous dress. He has to force himself to look away.

“It went well, I mostly worked through it as mom watched some tv, still a bit nauseous from the hospital smell” Taehyung answers frankly as ___ picks up the bottle of wine again.

“Are you driving home?” “No, I live walking distance from here” Taehyung answers and watches ___ pour him a quite full glass, he definitely needs it.

“Before we get to work, can you do something for me, follow me to my room?” ___ asks as she crosses through the living room, leading him into the bedroom. It’s quite a contrast to the last bedroom of ___ Taehyung remembers. The college apartment was decorated, the bedroom used to be messy, but now it’s all decorated, clean, lacks character.

“I think the zipper is stuck, help me please” ___ asks as she turns around and gathers all her hair in the front. Taehyungs frozen but he does as instructed, bringing the zipper down midway her spine and stopping there.

“I just need to get out of this and get the makeup off as well, sip on your wine and I’ll be back” she’s gone swiftly and Taehyung just awkwardly stands, not knowing what to do, what to see, where to sit.

He spots the pile of books he suggested she read, to be more fluent in korean, flowers in the room, arranged neatly and evenly into beautiful vases, so much white furniture and blankness, not art or paintings, her desk with her laptop and straight piled books, no sticky notes or calanders in sight, this is a stark difference to the room ___ had in college.

“Taehyung, can you hang this dress in the other room, the hanger is in the bathroom” ___ says as she steps out in a navy-blue collared pyjama set and the dress on her arms. The matching, proper pyjamas are once again a reminder that this isn’t the same ___ he knew years ago.

The supposed guest room is empty, entirely set up, but empty. Taehyung just does as he says, hanging the dress and taking a step back to look at it, he’s already seen almost 50 reports just about how gorgeous she looked, numerous tweets, people already starting to fall in love, just as intended.

He walks back to her room, the bathroom door completely swung open as she continues to remove her makeup. Taehyung watches her quietly for a second till ___ catches him through the mirror.

“I haven’t had the chance to look online yet, but what are the articles like?” ___ asks as she continues to massage in the cleansing balm.

At the slight mention of work, Taehyung is back on it, reading her a few excerpts from what he read. The people particularly loved the pictures of her and Jungkook right before she got on stage, there were video edits made already.

“So, overall success, multiple people posted with you on social media. I was thinking even we could put up stories on your Instagram, congratulating Mr Jeon and his company, I can get pictures from one of the many photographers” Taehyung says already texting people as ___ washes her face.

“Definitely, also Hoseok suggested I wear a suit tomorrow instead of a dress” “Definitely”

Taehyung sees cheering crowds every time ___ attends an event, speaks to a crown, attends a gala or even a time she went out shopping. This all feels new and surreal that all this has happened in a matter or one and a half month. Today ___ is volunteering at an orphanage, spending some time with the kids, playing a few games with them, but to their surprise most kids are between the age of 10-15, breaks his heart.

“Jesus fucking christ, Taehyung these are teenagers, teenagers are scary, what do I talk to them about?” ___ asks as they’re greeted with a bunch of smiling kids, ___ had been assuming that it would be little kids who don’t ask the difficult questions, but it’s teenagers, people she has no experience with.

“Kids in this age group have a hard time being adopted, they’re just children, maybe a little traumatised but still children, just talk to them like you would with Princess Jia” Taehyung says as they walk even closer to the people who run this place, who were more than delighted when Taehyung called to arrange this.

“Jia has been a nightmare lately, Oh hello kids, these flowers are so pretty, thank you” ___ switches it mid-sentence, the flowers look like they have been picked right from the garden and it’s the most beautiful bouquet she’s received recently.

After a lot of formal greetings and more flowers all of them make their way to the open amphitheatre, and she looks around in awe, this place is rather well made, must help the kids a lot. There’s still some press as they take a few photos every now and then, ___’s still not used to the flashing lights.

“Hello everyone, thank you for such a warm welcome, it’s a beautiful morning isn’t it” ___ speaks on the microphone. The kids look at her with such wide smiles that it hurts her that she called them scary a few minutes ago.

“Now, I want to propose a little bit of challenge to you guys, instead of me standing on stage the whole time and answering questions, which I hear you guys have a lot of. I sit with you up there and everyone that has a question comes up and asks me on stage. You guys wanna do that?” ___ asks and it’s a mix of loud no’s and some yes’s. She just laughs it off as she looks around again. Talking to their head caretaker earlier, she learnt how the kids sometimes struggle with confidence and being seen, hence the change.

“Come on it’ll be fun, and I have a simple trick for when you’re nervous on stage, look directly at me when you speak and just forget about the rest of the people, can you do that” ___ asks again and there are a few enthusiastic yes’s and that’s a good thing.

“Alright, one after another, come up on stage, tell us your name and ask me the question.” ___ takes a seat between the kinds after this and they’re visibly shaking with excitement when she does.

Most questions are easy, asking if she likes the sunset or sunrise, summer or winter, what was she like in high school, what clubs was she a part of in school, how did she decide what she wanted to study, she’s not puzzled till a shy girl in her floral dress comes up on stage.

“Hi, my name is Choi Seun, and I wanted to ask, um, how does one know when they’re in love?” she asks and continues to take deep breaths after she’s done speaking. The kids look at ___ with anticipation, and she tries to string together an answer, she should have anticipated this, these are teenagers after all.

“Well, love um, it’s a deep feeling that comes from a lot of respect, care and affection for one another. It’s a very complex feeling, but for me, I have known that I am in love when I feel extremely comforted just by their presence, when I can talk to them about everything that is bothering and exciting me and most importantly, when I want to share my food with them” ___ jokes about the last part and to her delight the girl is laughing and so are the rest of the kids, indicated she did good.

There are a few more questions and they finally break for lunch after. The pictures keep constantly happen as she sits with the team that takes care of the kids. She finds Taehyung and mouth him to come talk to her.

“Yes ma’am” “The press must have gotten enough pictures by now, for the tour of their rooms, can we ditch the cameras?” ___ asks as all the people around her listen intently.

“It’s a private place for the kids and I do want to spend some time with them without the cameras” ___ continues and Taehyung is already formulating what to say to the press.

___’s given a tour of the living space for the children, the walls are so colourful, books all around, even a specialized room to play video games, which she’s told the kids love.

“This room was donated by Mr Jeon, he’s actually one of our biggest donators” the caretaker shares as a few kids continue to stay glued to their video games. Even his name brings a small smile on ___’s face, it had been a week since they met and exchanged texts every now and then, he’s busy with work for now.

“That’s wonderful, he’s a great person isn’t he” “He’s the best, despite how busy he is with work he makes sure to come in and check with the kids every month. The money is good, it definitely helps, but he really gives the kids the attention and care they really crave” she says with a similar smile that ___ has.

“Wow, you guys have really decorated your room well” ___ exclaims as she walks into one of the girls’ dormitories. The walls are full of kpop posters, pictures, lots of cd’s, even an old-fashioned cd player.

“Oh, look at this picture, when was this taken?” ___ asks picking up a framed picture from one of the bedside table, once again, to her surprise it’s of Jungkook and the girl, it looks like it was taken just months ago.

“Jungkook oppa throws a big party for us every ear, he calls it a group birthday celebration and he takes all of out to a restaurant and we cut so many cakes and it’s so much fun, this is from the last group birthday” the thirteen-year-old explains with excitement and ___ is endeared enough to mutter out a aw and whip out her phone to send this picture to Jungkook.

“I’m sending this to Mr Jeon, he’s quite busy with work so this’ll cheer him up” “I saw pictures of Jungkook oppa and you from his event, are you guys dating?” an older girl asks and causes ___ to stand up straight immediately. That question is immediately followed by “Oh my god, you guys looked so good together” “You looked so pretty” “He’s so handsome isn’t he” “He’s so nice, who wouldn’t fall in love with him” “You guys are the IT couple”

___’s tired beyond anticipated as she finally falls in her sofa, it’s been a longer day than anticipated by a longer than expected stay at the orphanage and a dinner with the chamber of commerce afterwards.

Tomorrow is again a busy day, just like today. But the right kind of busy with lectures and presentations. With her laptop on her stomach, she continues editing one of her submissions when she feels her phone ringing.

“Hey, what a surprise” ___ doesn’t try to mask her excitement at all as she picks up the call, it’s from Jungkook, they haven’t talked on the phone yet.

“Hi” Jungkook says as he stands up in the empty conference room, he doesn’t even know what caused him to call her, he just wanted to.

“Thank you for the picture, really brightened my dreadful day” Jungkook says with a bit of excitement, his day has gone from bad to worse in a matter of hours but right in this moment, he doesn’t care.

“Dreadful?” “My team is on top of it, hopefully it’ll be resolved by the time we launch the game” “In seven days, you excited” ___ asks and Jungkook smiles widely, noticing how she’s been keeping a note of when the game launches.

“I’m so nervous all the time, last night I had a nightmare that the game was a flop and people kept yelling at me” Jungkook confesses and he can hear the giggles from the other side, it’s great that his misery is funny to someone.

“That’s not going to happen, in other news, you’re have a lot of adoring fans at the orphanage, a few teenage girls with massive crushes on you as well” ___ shares and this time Jungkook is the one giggling, he has had a change to look at the thousands of pictures posted online from ___’s visit, it looked like she had fun.

“Yes, and they aren’t very subtle about it, the last time one of them asked me what my type was and I chocked so hard on water” Jungkook says and ___’s laughter is making him feel a lot better, but the feeling is starting to vanish as Han knocks on the door once again.

“So, what is your type?” ___ asks and she is sure that she sounds like one of those teenage girls with crush, but she doesn’t care.

“How about I tell you that when we meet, in eight days because I really need to go, Han is looking at me like a crazy person” “Okay, well, um, you take care” “You too”

It had been a busy month for ___. First full month of new and refined royal duties and the response has been overwhelmingly positive. The narrative has shifted quickly from ___ being a nobody in the royal family to her finding her actual footing in the family and with the public.

But today this is the least of her worries, today she’s waiting at the airport to pick up someone she’s been dying to see. As she parks and hands Namjoon the keys, it’s hard not to notice a few eyes turning towards here, people starting to click pictures as soon as they realise who she is.

“You taught me how to drive, how can you not trust me to drive?” ___ whines as Yoongi tries to snatch the keys away from her. Now that his concerts in Korea have been approved, Yoongi decided to fly out here to meet the family and make some arrangements for the coming tour.

“Are you seeing this parking? Hand me the keys now” ___ doesn’t fight much, she doesn’t enjoy driving anyway. Namjoon is banished to the security car that follows them, and the sister brother duo are quick to get on the road.

“I listened to the album, and it’s surprisingly hopeful with the lyrics, what happened to the angsty Yoongi?” ___ teases as she checks her phone again for the fifth time, Yoongi’s already taken note of it.

“Life became better, I am so madly and deeply in love and most importantly, what I say now is scrutinized to death, so I only want to put the best foot forward” Yoongi answers but he can see how she’s not entirely listening to it as she checks her phone once again.

“So, who is the new man who hasn’t texted you back yet?” Yoongi asks and ___ finally puts her phone down, he’s busy, unlike her, he’s got work.

“He’s not on the list so I’ve been trying not to fall for him” ___ answers with a deep breath. There hasn’t been much contact between ___ and Jungkook, his game launches day after tomorrow and he’s buried under work. There’s only been a few texts here and there, Jungkook promises to come through with the barbeque thing very soon.

“Is it the Jungkook guy, the internet has been all over you both, Jimin had to make a burner account to like all the tweets, so much speculation and gossip and the way he looked at you” “Starstruck?” ___ jokes and Yoongi look at her for a soft smile.

“Adoration,” Yoongi says as he turns from the highway onto the city roads. His answer keeps ringing in ___ mind, if Yoongi could pick up on the adoration, what else did other people pick up on.

Usually, the royal family would live and gather at the blue palace, the biggest and the oldest palace in the history of Korea. But ever since the terrible day of shooting, no member of the royal family has ever lived there. The Queen and the Prince consort live at a smaller palace right in the middle of Seoul, Wonik, Haein and their two kids at the Incheon Palace, a palace that was made for the king in waiting and ___ doesn’t live in any of the royal properties, she rents just like many other college students, but unlike them in their smaller apartments, she rents the entire penthouse to reserve the floor.

But today, the Min family has been gathered at Seoul Palace, which the royals may think is small but is a massive sprawling property with gardens all around. They’re all seated outdoors for a brunch, and ___ realises all of them haven’t been together for over four months.

Yoongi is surrounded by Jia and her two-year-old brother Jiho. Jia had her 7th birthday recently, so Yoongi came bearing gifts, lots of them, for all the kids. Wonik is engrossed in a conversation with their father, discussing an upcoming speech he has to give. Haein tells their mother about a few stories of Jia from school, Jia has been quite a lot of trouble in school lately. While all this happens ___ sits by herself, focused on the food, the food at the Seoul palace is always the best.

“So, you’ve made quite a splash in the news” her father asks as Wonik goes and pick up a crying Jiho, it hasn’t been easy for the kids and it is quite evident.

“Jealous?” “Proud” he answers as he continues to sip on his coffee. ___ hasn’t done much lately to make her father proud, she doesn’t like that this validation makes her feel better.

“Especially what you spoke at the women’s development club speech, you were in such a rare form, reminded me of the ___ who would destroy kids on her debate club” he remembers that ___ vividly a 15-year-old in her school uniform who’d debate a topic to death, even if she didn’t agree with it.

“You chose well with Kim Taehyung, he puts a tough fight with Ms Kim but he’s always looking out to serve you, he really sees you in a way none of us do” he says and all ___ can do is smile. It’s just been two months of having Taehyung on her team, and on most days, he makes the role of a royal princess much less suffocating than it did before. ___ was thankful beyond words, there had been a growing affection there, or rather respect.

Yoongi is up before ___, he’s still on New York time. He brings out the suitcase full of trader joe snacks and starts arranging them into the surprisingly empty kitchen, wondering if she ever cooks at home.

“You’re up early” ___ remarks as she ties her robe as she walks out her room. Yoongi took the liberty of having some groceries delivered, he can’t cook with all the snacks she has.

“I had a call and what do you eat, you didn’t even have any spices?” Yoongi asks as he folds an omelette. For today’s breakfast, it’s soyabean soup, kimchi, omelette and rice.

“I usually eat takeout between getting ready for events or at the events, I have cooked at home a few times tho” ___ says as gets started with the coffee. She needs coffee before any food, especially after this bad night of sleeping.

“And what was that, toast?” “Popcorn” ___ answer just makes Yoongi scoff. “Sit down and eat this before you drink any coffee, no coffee on an empty stomach” Yoongi instructs snatching the coffee cup from ___’s hand and forcing her to sit and eat.

“For today, what do you want to do?” ___ had reserved her Friday for Yoongi, just lots of catching up, eating and drinking. But she asks him none the less, hoping he has something more exciting on his mind.

“I told Haein that we could take Jia shopping, Jia has been having a tough time with the press, media and feeling different in school, afternoon with her and then we can get drunk at home, you could even “cook” some popcorn” Yoongi says and ___ scowls at his cook remark.

“Sounds fun, what are you buying Jia and me, expensive dresses, expensive shoes oh, oh, expensive jewellery-“ “Stationary, since Jia is seven I’m buying her stationary. I found this cool store that makes a bunch of fun pieces” Yoongi explains as ___ takes a big bite of rice, home made does taste different, maybe she should start cooking, or hire a cook.

“Ma’am, His Royal Highness, Prince Consort has asked to see you at his office, urgently” Namjoon says as he walks into the living room, interrupting Yoongi explaining his tour plan.

“Urgent what, everyone is alive and well right?” “Yes, he didn’t mention what it was about but both your royal highness and Mr Taehyung have been asked to come see him, immediately” Namjoon explains and ___ looks at Yoongi with confusion, what could it possibly be.

___’s led to her fathers’ office, wondering what caused him to ask for her urgently. Namjoon keeps the door open for her and she immediately catches her father who stays seated with his arms crossed. What causes her to stop functioning her for a second is the man in a suit, dishevelled and tired man in suit who immediately stands up to bow.

“Jungkook?” ___ simply asks and he barely looks her in the eye, she turns around for answers but her father has the blank face that he usually does. To her left stand Ms Kim and Taehyung, but it’s only Taehyung who has a worried look on his face.

“___ why don’t you sit down, Ms Kim will start explaining things” her father says and ___ still very confused takes a seat on the sofa beside Jungkook. She turns around to look at him again, but he just continues to stare at his hands.

“My office was contacted by Dispatch, to let us know that they are planning to release the following pictures on sunday” Ms Kim says as she hands ___ a folder, she’s the only one who doesn’t have this folder.

Flipping it open, her heart sinks the second she sees the first picture, of her kissing Jungkook’s cheek on the balcony. Her hands are clammy as she flips to see the second one, and it’s of Jungkook and ___ at the after party, talking. To add to her fears, there is a third one, one where Jungkook held her hand and lead her to one of the hotel rooms. She stares at the last one before finally looking up.

“They’re set on releasing these pictures, but we’re worried about what the reaction might be to your royal highness being in a hotel room with Mr Jeon” Ms Kim talks and ___ once again turns to look at Jungkook who is looking at her this time. But his eyes aren’t the same, they look hurt and deceived.

“What reaction, we went into the hotel room to talk, if someone was there taking pictures they would have also seen me leave, minutes after” ___ yells as she stands up, throwing the pictures on the coffee table.

“Ma’am that does not matter, this still looks like you and Mr Jeon were, um, intimate” Ms Kim barely mumbles the last part and ___ looks at Taehyung, really hoping he says something.

“So, after some discussion with Ms Kim and Mr Taehyung, we have come to the conclusion that post the pictures are released, we announce that you and Mr Jeon have been dating for six months now. It can’t look like you went into a hotel room with a man you barely knew” Mr Min says and ___ can hear Jungkook taking a very deep breath.

“What is so wrong with that father?” “It questions your decision making, it makes you look impulsive, it makes you look easy-“ “Oh shut up will you” “No I will not shut up ___, post the announcement there will be a several of activities and pictures to make the two of you look like a solid royal couple. In eight months, we will announce that the two of you are engaged” the more her father speaks, the more it’s making her head spin.

“We absolutely don’t need to do that” “___ you haven’t realised that you are a royal princess and not a common civilian, you don’t get to sleep with someone when the public knows of it and now that the public will know of it, you have to make it look like it was because of a solid relationship and not just a minute of misjudgement” Mr Min is now standing as he starts to get agitated explaining all of this.

“Ms Kim, Taehyung can you leave, I need to discuss a few more things” Mr Min says and the two walk out immediately as they close the door behind them.

“I’ve discussed this with Mr Jeon, we have come to a wager” Mr Min says and ___ once again looks at him, what could he possibly be getting out of this to agree to this.

“Last night, Golden Studio’s only investor pulled out their investment, they wanted managerial control with the growing success and Mr Jeon refused. Without any investment company backing then, the company would go bankrupt in matter in 180 days. So, with my connections, I have found an investor that has agreed to invest without any managerial control” Mr Min shares and ___ is starting to connect the dots, this must have been the work disaster that he was talking about before absolute silence.

“So, in return for that you’re forcing him to marry me, how is that fair to him?” “___ get this through your head once and for all, that you are a woman and not a man, people will not excuse a royal woman caught up in this, all this is happening because of your misjudgement, I wouldn’t have gotten involved if it wasn’t for you” her father sounds and ___ takes a step back.

“These pictures will make the public question not just your character but the families as well, the queen’s character. The public is barely starting to accept and think of us as the royal family, but with this without any follow up, will not help it at all” he continues talking and ___ takes support against a wall, wanting to be as far away from Jungkook as possible.

“And as you promised to me five years ago, you are obliged to go through with anything that helps with your position as the royal princess, and this unfortunately is one of those things that you have to comply with, without any arguing” Mr Min continues talking mostly to his daughter and Jungkook can’t help but wonder why he even called her that night.

“Jungkook you don’t have to do this, you can find another company-“ “No your royal highness, I can’t, I haven’t slept for the last 48 hours and have tired everything and this is the only solution that has presented itself. No investment company wants to touch my company because of my stipulations. If I don’t take this deal I’ll be forced to delay launching a game that we have been working on for the last three years, lay people off, tarnish our reputation and force me to loose something I’ve put my life into” Jungkook finally speaks up and there is this iciness in his eyes that disturbs ___.

“For all intents and purposes the two of you are a real couple to the country, the world, news, your family, friends, each and every person excluding us, Ms Kim, Mr Taehyung and Mr Jeon’s assistant” Mr Min says as he finally sits down. ___ doesn’t feel all this to be real, just a very bad nightmare, where the man she thought liked here looks at her with fury.

“This marriage is going to be a royal one, so there’s no out, no divorce, you two together for all of this now, for the rest of your lives” Mr Min’s words are ringing in Jungkook’s ears, he feels claustrophobic, the nauseous feeling very much back.

Jungkook hasn’t had an easy life, his parents passed away in a car accident, they were on their way back from work and suddenly the cars break failed, causing them to collide with a wall and dying, right at impact. This happened when he was 7, and over 20 years later, he still has the memory of his mother’s best friend telling him what happened late that night.

Jungkook was right away adopted by his mother’s best friend and her husband, his grandmother was too old to take care of him and his mother’s mother never wanted to see him again. That was the first time in his life that he felt the feeling of having no control over his life. He remembers crying about the loss of his parents and adjusting with his new family in bed for years. He just wanted to stay at his home, at his family home, but he was forced to go live at some strange house.

Jungkook worked at one of the biggest tech companies right out of college at 21. For the initial few months, he was excited, thrilled, worked 12-hour days happily. But about 2 years in he was assigned a project that involved using private, vulnerable data to influence them into buying products that make their life even worse. That was the first time in his adult life he realised that he didn’t have any control over his life, to companies like these, they were a mere data point to be manipulated.

When he started his company at 24, the initial money came from the settlement money from the car manufactures that caused his parents death. Jungkook vowed to never have outside investors, he knows how these companies worked, investing in companies and controlling them for their gain. He never wanted to have the feeling of not having control over his life, so any investor that they did talk to was made clear, no managerial control.

But this minute as he sits and listen to Mr Min and ___ fight is the most he’s felt that he has no control over his life. He’s agreed to completely let go any control of his personal life to save his company and Jungkook isn’t sure how he feels about it. But he knows that he feels sick.

Mr Min leave, asking the two of them to talk to each other while he goes and discusses a few things with the press secretaries. There a harsh silence in this office, Jungkook had deluded himself into looking at ___ as just ___, but if today is any proof, he should have only seen her as a princess.

“You were right that night, I should have just stayed home” ___ finally speaks up as she takes the seat beside him once again. But the close proximity to her is suddenly making him feel uncomfortable, evident by how he stands up.

“I, um, just got swept away with the infatuation of it all and now we’re in this mess” ___ continues talking as Jungkook sips on some water, looking a bit shaky still.

“Jungkook, you know I don’t want this, I have no part in this, I am just part of this unforgiving system that I don’t want to be in” ___’s vomiting words right now, because she very desperately needs Jungkook on her side.

“I don’t want to do this to you, you have to believe me Jungkook” “What does me believing you even change now your royal highness? It doesn’t change this situation at all” Jungkook finally speaks up, the two red bulls he drank earlier finally kicking in.

“Look, we can just think of this as an challenge and do our best to harness any real feelings we have for each other-“ “Ma’am, let me make myself very clear, any feelings of affection I had for you have now been replaced with obligation” Jungkook’s voice is strained but firm, ___ definitely understands what he’s trying to tell, and it breaks her heart.

“Jungkook don’t be like this” ___ pleads as she stands up herself, and Jungkook just scoffs looking her straight in the eyes.

“Don’t be like what? Ma’am you don’t know me well enough but I lost my parents to a brutal accident when I was 7 and it made me realise just how much I don’t like it when I don’t have control over my life. But here I am, giving up control to the most intimate parts of my life to save my company. So, please don’t ask me to find any feelings for you right now, because even if I try very hard, I can’t seem to find them” Jungkook answers very candidly as he buttons his jacket, his phone has been going off all morning, he needs to be back at the office.

“So, please don’t ask me to find feelings for you as I watch the plans of my personal future slip away” Jungkook can see just how much his words are affecting her, her eyes on the brink of tears but she’s fighting them still.

___ wants to argue, tell him that it’s not all that bad, they can make it work, if they try really really hard, but she can also see the emotional walls he’s starting to put up around himself.

“Please your royal highness, excuse me, I am needed back at the office, the place where I still have some control”

The office is filled with people, Han had arranged for everyone to be around when the game goes live and the celebratory vibe around Jungkook is starting to feel like mockery.

“Where the hell have you been?” Seokjin asks as he rushes out his office the second he spots Jungkook, as the CEO he wants to yell at him, ask him where he’s been all this while he waited for a word from him, but as a brother he’s deeply concerned by what he sees. Jungkook looks disoriented, pale and shaky, it’s very concerning.

“I…I, went to the roof and fell asleep on a bench” Jungkook says truthfully, on his way back from the royal office, instead of going straight to his office, he went to the roof to think, and smoke and promptly fell asleep.

“What? Jungkook are you okay? Do you have a fever?” Seokjin asks as he immediately checks his temperature and he’s shockingly cold, too cold.

“So, Mr Black is going to send over the contract, they are doubling the investing amount, helping us expand and market in the west and are completely okay with no managerial control, apparently he does this just because he sees potential in good business and not for control which is shocking. Also, there’s going to be some news about me and my girlfriend soon, but that’s mostly out of my control, it’s not all bad, but it’s definitely something. And I talked to our server company and they have assured me that the servers will be incredibly the best right as the game launches. Also, I’ve had five red bulls today and what time is it” Jungkook keeps rambling on as Jin drags his brother into his office, the concern only keeps growing as Jungkook keeps babbling.

“Jungkook drink this water and sit here, I’m going to go get Han” Jin instructs handing him a bottle of water from his table and asking his assistant to go get Han.

The water starts to help with the dehydration, but the migraine is only growing. Jungkook continues drinking from a second bottle as Han and Jin walk into the office again.

“He’s drank five red bulls and given how sensitive he is to caffeine, should we take him to a hospital?” “I know a doctor, I’ll ask him to come check on him, you take the contracts to legal and see to that, I’ll take care of him” Han instructs and with a few more cautious looks Jin finally leaves.

“Jungkook, do you have any chest pains” “Yes, my heart hurts” Jungkook answers as he unscrews the third bottle but doesn’t drink anyway. His statement only causes Han to panic even more as he scrambles around for his phone.

“Han, stop, listen to me, I made a deal with the Prince Consort, for the investment, tomorrow they’re going to announce that her and I have been dating for six months, that we met through mutual friends and have been getting to know each other well with plans of future of some crap, and in eight months, apparently I’m going have to propose to her and after that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, oh my god I think I’m having a panic attack”

As Jungkook lays on the floor of his brother’s office, the consequences of what he’s agreed to are starting to dawn on him. Today was supposed to be one of the happiest day of his life, but he can use today to pin point today as the day his life officially left his hands. But the second he shuts his eyes, the image of sitting in that hotel room comes into his head, when will he start to forget about that night.

“Good suggestion, it is definitely too loud outside” ___ says it the second they exit the rooftop, Jungkook is quite tipsy himself and all he wants to do it reach over and hold her hand.

“Mingyu gave me a hotel room, he just wants me to sleep for 12 hours and not think of work” Jungkook says as he flashes a hotel key the moment they reach the hallway. ___’s starting to over thing all of this, she shouldn’t have texted him, she shouldn’t have come here, but she really wanted to see him and she’s had about a half bottle of wine.

“You’re stumbling a lot, how much did you drink?” ___ asks as Jungkook slumps against the door, struggling with the key card, but on the sixth try, the door finally swings open and Jungkook almost falls on his face, but ___ holds his hand and stabilizes him right on time.

“Your hands are very cold, unusually cold, you should see a doctor about it” Jungkook says as he pulls her in and shuts the door behind them. ___ laughs, finding this honest and unleashed Jungkook hilarious.

“Maybe, my hands are cold because I was standing on a roof in a hoddie and jeans and your hands are so warm because you’ve been drinking” ___ says and Jungkook takes a seat on the bed while she continues to stand in front of him.

“You were shining like the sun today, you looked like hope” Jungkook giggles as he flops back on bed, sitting up is just taking too much effort at this point. ___ is struck with his observation, she received a lot of compliments today, but this one is by far the best one.

“Like hope?” “Yes, the kind of hope, not in the way people usually mean it…but the kind that sneaks up on you when you’ve stopped expecting it” Jungkook barely stands up on the bed again, and he’s starting to sober up seeing just how sad she looks. He stands up in a panic when the tears finally escape her eyes.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry, did…did, I say something wrong,” Jungkook asks as his hands rake through his hair, he should have just kept drinking more outside, or kept his mouth shut.

“No, um, I should go, I’ve had a lot of wine and I have to speak at a college tomorrow and I should go” ___ is just hit with all of it, why did he even see any hope, she doesn’t have any, in herself or to give, she’s quite hopeless.

“Hey, I’m sorry” Jungkook says as he holds her back by her wrist the second she turns around. This was going so well, right up till he opened his big giant mouth.

“Don’t be, you should go out there, celebrate your success, we’ll talk later” ___ rids of his hand in one swift movement and Jungkook’s left there standing, wondering, overthinking.

Yoongi knows something is off, ___ was excited for his visit but all the sudden she’s quite and shut off. They were supposed to go shopping and spend time together, but she showed up home to late to do any of that. He definitely smelt cigarettes on her this morning as she’s oddly quite, still on her phone.

“___, we have that family dinner today, how about we go shopping before that?” Yoongi suggests as she continues to munch on her dry toast, that’s all she can stomach right now.  ___’s been told by Ms Kim to tell Yoongi and her family about Jungkook, before the news comes out today at midnight and she still hasn’t been able to iron out a story to lie about.

“I actually have to go see my boyfriend” she says as she cautiously watches Yoongi’s reaction and to just as expected, he’s choking on his coffee right as she says that. She could very easily lie to the rest of the world, but lying to Yoongi is difficult.

“What, who, which boyfriend, WHAT” Yoongi asks as he completely disregards his coffee and comes and sit on the sofa beside her.

“Well, um, Jungkook,-“ “You’re dating him, he’s your boyfriend?” “Of six months” ___ says and Yoongi stands up in shock of it all, she tells him everything, every good and bad thing, how has this not been told yet.

“How, why, how has it not come up yet” Yoongi asks incredulously, ___ once called him between a bad date, how did a boyfriend of six months not come up yet. Yoongi wonders what else has been going on with her that he doesn’t know about.

“Because I didn’t even know if it was real at first, he doesn’t really fit the model of boyfriend that the press or even mom and dad are expecting,” ___ did take some notes to get her story right, she can’t just be freeballing this.

“why is that?” “He has tattoos, an arm full of them, at a point he used to have a lip piercing, he doesn’t come from a chaebol family, he has a video game business and not some boring finance or business thing, he has stated his political opinions out loud, to the press, he’s, he is,” ___ stops for a second as she tries to breath away that panicky feelings she’s been getting.

“He speaks out about the issues he believes in rather than being diplomatic about it, he’s kinda clumsy, his family, um, he was adopted and spends a lot of time with orphaned children” ___ says and Yoongi exhales sitting back besides her.

“He sounds like a wonderful, strong headed, caring and generous man” Yoongi says softly and ___ doesn’t say anything but rather leans her head on his shoulder.

“So, why didn’t tell me about him, earlier, or much rather after the first date?” Yoongi asks as he rubs her hand, ___’s clearly still struggling with something.

“Because I wasn’t sure if I wanted him in all this, my world, as a royal, with all the press, media and attention” ___ says that knowing full well Jungkook is about to enter her world with full force, without having any say in it.

“Well, it’s simple, do you love him?” Yoongi’s question stumps her, the dry toast coming back up the more she thinks about it. There’s no option here, and Jungkook’s made it very clear that she’s just an obligation to him.

“Yes” “It’s simple then, if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have stuck around for six months without realising the reality that comes with your title” the more Yoongi talks the more ___ realises just what a horrible thing she’s doing to Jungkook.

___ hoping Yoongi doesn’t have any more questions, because just thinking and lying about this situation is depressing her. To her surprise, she’s saved by the doorbell and knows exactly who is on the other side, exactly why she’s dressed in business formals on a Saturday morning.

Yoongi swings the door open as ___ picks up her handbag, but there’s one more thing she might have forgotten to tell him.

“Taehyung? What are you doing here? ___ why is your ex-boyfriend doing here?” Yoongi asks and the two of them look at each other awkwardly.

“He’s my press secretary” “Why is your ex-boyfriend your press secretary-“ “Because he’s good at his job and can you stop calling him my ex-boyfriend, people can’t know about it” ___’s not even dazed with this secret now, she has a much bigger one to keep.

“I’m sorry for being a bit late, I was at the hospital and the discharge was a struggle” Jungkook’s voice breaks the weird tension that has taken over the conference room as Han helps him sit down. ___ sits up as she spots the IV bag that was wheeled into the room with him.

“What happened?” ___ asks from across the table, for some weird reason the sitting arrangement ended up with Jungkook and her being at the two ends of the table and it’s only adding to the tension.

“Mr Jeon was taken to the hospital post launch for severe dehydration-“ “I’m fine” Jungkook cuts off Han who just nods, opening the file that has been waiting for them. The sole purpose of this meeting is to get their stories straight, and thanks to their press people, they will have the perfect fairy tale story by the end of it.

“First off, congratulations Mr Jeon and company, the news has been very favourable since the launch last night-“ “Can we get straight to the point, my work is not being controlled by the royal family” Jungkook’s harsh tone is biting, but ___ can’t help but notice how pale and frail he still looks.

“Okay, first thing on the agenda is getting our stories straight, do the both of you have any input?” Taehyung asks as shifts in his seat, Jungkook’s glare is piercing and he doesn’t know how to neutralize this tension.

“Mr Taehyung, right? I’m sure you already have a story prepared based on research, so how about you just tell us what it is, instead of asking for our input” Jungkook is still clearly very angry, but all ___ can do right now is nod and ask Taehyung to proceed.

Taehyung sits up and starts sharing the perfectly crafted story. About eight months ago, both of them attended a charity gala, that’s the first time they met. They connected over shared interests, spend time in private to avoid media attention. But with the picture coming out, they’ve decided to be share about the relationship in an effort for more transparency from the royals. They way they’re spinning their match in the media consists around the simple though of how their union combines the tradition of the royal family with the modernity that Jungkook brings in.

“To get ahead Dispatch, I think it would be the best if Mr Jeon attended the dinner today for the Prince Consorts birthday. I will tip of another paparazzi about it and place them for pictures as her royal highness princess ___ and Mr Jeon enter the restraunt. Those pictures being released prior to the dispatch ones are essential to establish this as a committed, serious relationship” Taehyung stops talking for a second to take in the mood of the room and it’s even more tense now as ___’s eyes stay fixed on Jungkook for any reaction while he continues to stare at the report in front of him.

“He’s too sick for a dinner-“ “I’m not, what time am I expected?” Jungkook interrupts ___ and she sighs, leaning back in the chair. Looking around the Golden Studio office, she can see the remnants of yesterday’s celebrations.

“Around 7:30, pick up ma’am from her place-“ “No, my brother’s staying at my place, it���s best if I meet him outside the restraunt, I can’t take a car ride with him and Yoongi” ___ can imagine the amount of questions or rather the interrogation that would take place and they’re bound to break in front of him.

“Alright-“ “Do I need to pick up a gift? I can’t come empty handed if the motive of this meeting is also to make the royal family like me” Jungkook asks as he looks ___ directly in the eyes, his eyes are very void of any emotions and that disturbs her.

“My father likes wine, so I’ve bought him an old French bottle, we can say that it’s from the both of us. Don’t wear a suit tonight, we’ve decided to keep it causal so just dress pants, a shirt and a sweater, I can have my stylist drop off-“ “I am capable of dressing myself” Jungkook interrupts her as he looks away and she just nods going back to looking around.

“Alright, I’m still trying to iron out the possible public and private spotting that will happen. The statement to announce the relationship will be made by our office and when asked for a comment on the same the reply from Mr Jeon’s office is going to be the same.” Taehyung is now talking mostly to Han as the two people in this relationship are focused looking elsewhere.

“Hi mother, how are you doing?” ___ asks as she walks out the conference room, standing by one of the windows as she looks out at the sunny February day.

“I am good, your father and I went on a hike this morning, very refreshing” a chipper queen responds and ___ just sighs as she gears up for what she’s about to ask.

“So, I have been dating someone for a while now, and I was thinking that today is the perfect day for him to meet my family. With all of us around, the pressure won’t be as heavy on him” ___ is getting good at this lying thing because given how soft his voice is, she sounds believable.

“Would that someone be Mr Jeon Jungkook?” “Yes, how’d you know?” ___’s voice is panicked for a moment wondering if she too knows about their arrangement.

“You attended a party for his game launch, it’s not usually the kind of event you’d attend as a royal princess. And based on the pictures from that night, it looked like he was delighted to have you there” her mother’s words just remind ___ of Jungkook from that day and she can’t control the tear that rolls off her cheek.

“Yes, and Jungkook’s excited and a bit nervous to see you all, I just wanted your go ahead before I talk to him about this” the queen hasn’t met any of ___’s boyfriend yet, and she doesn’t hide her excitement as she says yes.

“How long have the two of you been together” “Six months, it’s getting quite serious so I thought now would be a good time for everyone to meet him” ___ talks with a clenched fist as she breaths really hard, trying not to break down.

“That’s wonderful ___, I’m looking forward to meeting him” “I’ll see you later” ___ turns around to go back to the conference room to give everyone the conformation but gets startled when she catches Jungkook waiting for her.

“My mother gave her go ahead” she says as she takes a shaky breath. The stiffness between them grows stronger but no one does anything to help it.

“I need to take a few press calls about the launch, Han will brief me on everything later” Jungkook answers and she nods. He watches as he opens her mouth twice, but just moves forward with silence.

___ takes her seat in the conference room, letting every one of the queen’s approval. Han and Taehyung continue to discuss possible event they can attend together, ironing out as many details they can foresee. Thanks to the glass walls in this office, ___ watches as Jungkook takes a seat in his office and immediately starts working.

“I’ll just let Jungkook know that we’re leaving, can you pick up dad’s gift from the kitchen” ___ asks Yoongi as she finishes putting on her heels and shoots off a quick text to Jungkook. She shuts off her phone when he sends back an okay.

“It’s strange to me that one moment I don’t know you have a boyfriend and the next he’s meeting our entire family” Yoongi talks as he comes and finds her in the foyer. Her brother hasn’t been sceptical about this, he’s rather been teasing her about the whole situation.

“I usually come to you when the relationship is turbulent, when we’re clearly not right for each other, but it’s been different with him” ___ says in hopes that it settles this once and all with Yoongi but he just gives her a pursed smile.

“But shouldn’t you be breaking him into this gently, I’m a bit hurt that given how close we are you didn’t choose for me to meet him before the rest of the family does” Yoongi presses further as he picks the car keys and ___ follows him, taking deep breaths.

“I thought the pressure on him would be less if he meet everyone together as a group and then individually for you, I’m just trying to look out for him” ___ explains as they wait for the elevator to come up. Yoongi doesn’t say anything he just nods.

The drive to the restraunt feels exceptionally small but ___ knows they’ve reaches as she spots Jungkook standing right by the entrance. Yoongi can feel how nervous ___ is with her constantly fixing her hair and shaking leg.

“Look, your man is waiting for you, with flowers” Yoongi jokes trying to lighten the atmosphere as he stops the car right by the valet. ___ can’t even hear him at this point, there’s this loud ringing in her head and she had a pit in her stomach, feeling as tho things are about to fall apart.

Jungkook’s squinting his eyes as he tries to see if this is ___, he’s hoping that it is, because he’s not prepared to face her parents all by herself. To his relief ___ steps out the car and it’s right at that point when a car whizzes past her.

“Be careful!” Jungkook yells and the surroundings are starting to sink into ___, how she was just about to be hit by a car, would not be the worst thing to happen today.

“I’m fine” she tells both the men and Yoongi stares at her with concern, her head’s been scattered all day, he noticed it first when she tried to pour coffee without having a mug there and then forgetting to zip up her dress.

“You okay?” Jungkook asks once again as she’s walking closer to him, for a second, he’s forgotten just now nervous he is about all this.

“I’m good, Yoongi, Jungkook, Jungkook, Yoongi” she introduces the two men who share a small handshake and Jungkook looks at the two of them just as blankly as he did this morning.

“No need to be so scared man, it’s not like you’re meeting the royal family” Yoongi jokes and Jungkook chuckles awkwardly and ___ plasters on the practiced smile.

“It’s so nice to meet you, ___’s told me so much about you” Jungkook’s starting the lying early so that he’s practiced when he meets the rest and given Yoongi’s wide smile as his eyes shift between the couple, Jungkook’s feels like he’s doing a good job.

“I can’t say the same because I didn’t even know she was dating someone until this morning” ___ can feel the interrogation coming and she has to find a way to distract Yoongi before it begins.

“Why don’t you go in, we’ll be there in a few minutes” ___ isn’t asking her brother, but rather pushing him away and Jungkook just smiles tightly as he watches the man walk away. Once he’s out of their earshot, both of them take a big sigh of relief, trying to remember what comes next.

“Okay, so I saw the cameras earlier, they’re right by the trees” Jungkook talks looking at his feet as he fidgets with the flowers. Recalling Taehyung’s instructions, she reaches and straightens his jacket. The strange movement causes Jungkook to look at her strange, but he has the realisation a second later.

“My family’s going to want you to talk rather me, so short sentences, no political comments and compliment my mother’s bracelet, tell her how I told you the story of the bracelet and my father proposing with a bracelet rather a ring on his birthday, stick to business with Wonik, and don’t go into any one-on-one conversations with Yoongi, Got it?” ___ asks looking up at Jungkook, her eyes scanning him to look for anything else that is out of place.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything, despite the nerves swirling inside him, he takes a hold of his hand, just as Taehyung asked them to. The move would be comforting if it wasn’t so strategic.

The restraunt is warm and smells of wood and fire, the entire place was reserved for the royal family who Jungkook spots right away. Under the warm lights they don’t feel as scary as they smile back at him. He gingerly lets go of her hand as he bows, greeting them all based on protocol and the people around her laugh and his worst horrors are starting to come true.

“Why are they laughing?” Jungkook whispers as he leans closer to ___ and she is smiling herself, a fond little smile.

“You’re supposed to greet my mother first, then Wonik, then my father and then Haein” ___ explains as she pulls them closer to their seats besides her Yoongi, Jungkook is all frazzled already and he’s so ready to give up on this dinner.

“It’s fine Mr Jeon, our family is not big on these formalities anyways, we’re still trying to fit into our roles” her mother says as the couple takes their seats, Jungkook knowing that they’re on display does what most gentleman would do. Pull ___’s chair out for her.

“Where are the kids?” ___ asks Wonik and Haein, she was hoping that the kids would be around to take all of the adult’s attention.

“It’s past their bed time ___” Wonik answers as the server comes around to fill their glasses of wine. Jungkook has been told very seriously to not drink for at least a week, but he doesn’t want to be rude.

“Are you supposed to be drinking?” ___ whispers to Jungkook as Wonik and her father go back to discussing the upcoming royal tour.

“I’m not but I also don’t want to be rude” Jungkook whispers and his hot breath on her ear derails her train of thought, but her mother’s eye on them brings her right back.

“Don’t drink, excuse me, don’t fill his glass, he’s still recovering from being sick” ___ speaks up for him and it comforts him for a bit, evident by the small shy smile he has as he looks around.

There are rounds of congratulations to Jungkook, apparently everyone on this table has been keeping tabs on the new launch. Jungkook starts looking at them like a normal family as the cake comes around. It’s all going better than expected and it shocks the both of them.

“So, how’d you two meet?” the dreaded question comes around as the dinner is being served and Jungkook takes the initiative knowing they want him to talk.

“We were both at the charity gala hosted in Busan about seven months ago. Everyone I talked to was looking forward to talking to the princess, or talking about the princess or talking how beautiful the princess looked” he stops for a second to pass ___ a smile and trying to feel if the room is responding to what he’s saying.

“And when she came around to our table, we just struck up a conversation about my upcoming trip to New York and her vacation in Thailand” Jungkook answers and ___ tries to hide her look of shock the best she can as Jungkook speaks verbatim from the script Taehyung handed to them.

Another person on the table who is quite amused at how well Jungkook is handling all this is Mr Min and he doesn’t try to hide it at all.

“The more we talked, the more I realised just how warm, funny and grounded she is and it’s been months since then and thank fully we’re still talking” Jungkook delivers excellently and Mr Min who previously had no confidence in him sits in shock as the rest of the table eats up their story, just like the rest of the country will too.

“When I learnt that ___ was bringing a boyfriend to this dinner, I was quite shocked, while we have known most of her boyfriends, we haven’t had the privilege of meeting them” Mr Min asks in an attempt to put them on the spot, this is the best place for them to practice talking about the relationship.

“Well, um, I am not the same ___ I used to be years ago and whether I like it or not, who I date does affect all of us as the royal family now. And as much we’ve loved being together in private, I would like to go to a café with my boyfriend and go on a vacation with him” ___ is definitely scrambling but the reassuring look Jungkook gives her helps for sure.

“What I mean by all that rambling is that, I care about him very deeply and what we’ve found with each other is rare and my hope by bringing him to meet all of you is an attempt to do all this right. I, um, I love him” her voice dips at the last sentence, the weight of it all feels heavy on her heart but just as written on the script, she speaks despite not being able to at first. Her mother and Yoongi are smiling, so she must have convinced him.

“You must go on a vacation after all the work you’ve been putting in, do you have any specific locations in mine. I’m looking for ideas too, because we haven’t been on one, in four years” the queen asks candidly and Jungkook chuckles nervously as he tries to think of an answer.

“We’ve been discussing Hawaii, but I would strongly recommend Switzerland, I took my family there for a vacation last year and it’s truly breathtaking” Jungkook’s eyes wander between the two parents and the tight smile on Mr Min’s face is an indication that he’s been doing well.

Jungkook talks a bit more about his Swiss vacation and ___ is absolutely in awe of how well he is doing. How eloquent he is when he talks to Wonik about the new business developments from around the country. But of course, he is charming, a bit different from the day he first met her, but still very charming.

“Jungkook was in rare form, despite the twitching every now and then. But you need to put a lot more work, you were all shaky and nervous” Mr Min says as the rest of the family including Jungkook walks ahead of them, ready to head home.

“Thanks for the feedback father, oh happy 65th birthday too, I hope you stop meddling with my life as the wisdom of old age dawn on you” ___ speaks with gritted teeth as she moves ahead to catch up with Wonik and Jungkook, who are still talking about the economy or something.

“___ you did well” the queen tells ___ as her mother circles an arm around her. There is no doubt that she is impressed by Jungkook, not just as the queen but also a mother.

“You think the public will like him too?” ___ asks with genuine concern as her gaze drifts to Jungkook. He looks much more confident now, at least one of them should be.

“What is important is that you love him-“ “and how easy he is to control, ‘No he won’t be drinking, he’s still recovering’” Yoongi mimics ___’s tone from earlier and she laughs dryly as she swats her brother. If someone were to look at them from a distance right now, they’d look like a normal family.

The parents leave after final pleasantries with Jungkook, ___ watches as he exhales deeply the moment, they car drives away. The same can’t be said for ___ because she’s tense as ever.

“You did good today, the day I met the parents went much worse” Haein tells Jungkook as they wait for the rest of the cars to arrive. Jungkook hasn’t had a chance to talk to her much, but he’s thankful regardless.

“It wasn’t that bad” Wonik pipes in and Haein chuckles as she thinks back to that day. “Oh it was bad, we were already engaged and I met the parents on a complete accident because all of us happened to be in the Hamptons, if it were up to Wonik, I wouldn’t have ever met the parents” Haein shares and the group laughs, more relaxed laughter now.

“I was scared to introduce her only and only because of dad, no matter how amazing our partners are, he always scrutinizes them and I only wanted to shelter you off that” Wonik claims and Haein scoffs, Yoongi can’t even fathom to find the courage to introduce his parents to Jimin yet.

“Well, thankfully ___ has always been his least favourite so Jungkook was saved of the scrutiny” Wonik teases but it causes Jungkook to look at her with a raised eyebrow, she just stiffens up more with her tight smile and crossed arms.

“She’s definitely not his least favourite, I have been wearing that crown proudly for years” Yoongi chimes in an attempt to neutralize the situation. Jungkook’s starting to understand just how complicated this family is now.

“But you’re mom’s favourite and she’s the queen, she’s quite literally the head of the country” Wonik comments and the joking tone has now been replaced with a more serious one. Yoongi chuckles dryly, wondering why are they talking about this.

In Jungkook’s eyes, the evening went fine, better than expected other than the last few moments outside the restaurant. But based on how quiet ___ is in as he drives, he’s starting to wonder otherwise.

“Are you cold, should I turn up the heat higher?” Jungkook finally breaks the ice and the princess just nods as she rubs her hands together. Jungkook noticed her shivering the second they stepped out the restaurant.

Jungkook can’t handle the quietness, but he also doesn’t have the energy or the courage to talk, so he just turns on the radio. And to his dismay, it’s a soft romantic song, it’s like the radio is mocking him. ___ watches and Jungkook stops on a red light and try to find some appropriate music on his Spotify.

“What kind of music do you like?” ___ asks as she turns to him ever so slightly, he looks at her for a second too long with a puzzled look before the car behind them honks.

“Soft pop, rnb… ballads” he answers as he zooms through the empty streets, it’s pretty close to midnight and they’re just minutes away from the disastrous pictures coming online.

“It suits you” she says as he looks around his mercedes in a bleak attempt to get to know him better. Theres’s sanitizer and hand cream where the coffee cups should be, at least he cares about his hands.

Jungkook’s about to ask something himself, but he’s cut off by her ringing phone which she picks up with a frown.

“Yes Taehyung?” she asks with a flat tone and Jungkook is tries to focus in as much as he can to listen to the call, despite the pop music he put on.

“The dinner went well, the queen clearly liked him, so did Wonik and those are the only two people in my family who’s approval matters right now” her tone is biting and she’s clearly still bothered by what Wonik said earlier.

“Why are they even there? Isn’t it unsafe for them to know where I live?” ___’s agitated as she massages her forehead, the cigarette smoking is clearly getting to her.

“FINE Taehyung it’s just, alright” she hands up and leans back with a sigh, Jungkook looks at her a couple times, wanting to know what the call was about. She finally catches his eye and she’s clutching her hair with frustration before she starts talking.

“Apparently, there’s hidden paparazzi outside my apartment building and Taehyung wants us to put a show for the cameras, to drown the hotel pictures that are coming out” she shares and Jungkook’s starting to tense up more as the hotel pictures are mentioned.

“Show how?” “Physical affection, something that will counteract against the pictures they already have of us. Something that gets peoples attention, a hug, maybe a kiss” ___ repeats what she was told on the phone and Jungkook looses control of the car just for a second.

“Don’t get out” Jungkook whispers the second he parks his car, she follows him as he walks towards her door and she’s taking deep breaths as she prepares herself for what’s waiting for her.

He doesn’t say anything as he swings the door open, but rather offers his hand which she takes with hesitation. She wonders if he can feel how clammy her hands are but they stay put as he closes the door behind her.

“What do we do, do we hug?” ___ asks as she notices just how surprisingly close, they’re standing, Jungkook’s hands go from her hand to her waist and close all the distance between them.

“I can’t believe my life has turned into this circus show” his tone is sharp as his arms hesitantly circle around her, this closeness brings back the nervous feeling that the two of them have been ignoring.

“I am so sorry-“ “What is you being sorry going to do now, put your hands on my chest” Jungkook instructs with a curt smile and ___ gingerly does so. From a distance, the two of them probably look like a couple caught up in an intimate moment.

“Because I feel bad for doing this to you, you can still go out and find yourself another investor, I still have to pose around with someone my father picks out” ___ explains as she finally looks him in the eye, she needs him to understand her. Jungkook just scoffs as his grip tightens around her.

“No investor is going to touch my company after one of the biggest investors in the country loses faith in us” Jungkook speaks with a smile, he’s at awe of just how badly things turned in a matter of day.

“If I don’t do this, I lose my company, people lose their jobs, something I poured my heart and soul into would become one of the many failed tech ventures and most hear breaking of it all” he keeps her hanging as his hand comes up fix her hair. The sudden touch is making her mind go in a tizzy but Jungkook seems unfazed.

“I would have poured the money I got as a part of my parent’s death settlement into a failed business rather than continue their legacy” his voice is shaky but he looks her square in the eyes, her red and wet eyes. Her chest tightens with the weight of his words, she knows how she is the absolute worst person in the world in his eyes, and she doesn’t see that changing.

“Jungkook I am so sor-“ Jungkook seizes all the distance between them with a fierce kiss, his warm lips against her freezing ones shuts off her brain entirely as the handbag drops down her shoulder and she holds him even closer by his hair. For a second the two of them entirely forget about this arrangement, they forget about the cold wind and what the future holds for them.

For a second, she almost pulls away, but Jungkook brings her back in with a violent fervour but he stops himself, their foreheads resting against each other for a second too long. He’s just doing all this for the cameras, is what she’s telling himself.

___ lights a cigarette in the kitchen as she waits for the coffee to be done. It’s been a week since the pictures came out and just how Taehyung orchestrates, the pictures of them kissing are what people focused on. She’s restrained herself from going online because if it’s anything negative it would just devastate her.

The front door opens and Namjoon comes into the kitchen followed by Taehyung as the two men give her a disappointed look.

“Your royal highness” both the men say in a unison as they bow, “The prince consort has called you 11 times today, he wants to talk to you, soon” Namjoon says and ___ grumbles sitting up on the counter, the coffee’s taking longer than expected.

“She has time tomorrow after her lectures-“ “No, I don’t want to see him right now” ___ interrupts Taehyung and Namjoon just nods as he leaves. Taehyung takes a good look at ___ and she does not look fine, unlike what she’s been texting him.

“I just wanted to share the positive response we have been getting since the pictures-“ “Oh how wonderful, people love that two people are forced to be together even tho they don’t want to” ___ tone is sarcastic as she takes another long drag.

“The plan is to slow play the relationship, despite the official announcement, we want to gently introduce people to the relationship” Taehyung says with a soft voice as he moves closer. He’s been worried sick, and part of his job is making her miserable, which makes him more miserable.

“Call it an arrangement” ___ says as she struggles with pouring herself coffee, her hands shaking with the lack of eating. Taehyung doesn’t want to berate her right now, so he moves swiftly and pours her cup while also looking around for food.

“Do you want to eat something, I can order food, or even cook something” Taehyung asks gingerly but he just hears a soft no.

“Just tell me what I have to do next” ___’s tone is curt and Taehyung complies as he briefs her on the upcoming events and duties she has lined up. For ___ everything is business as usual, she’s still carrying on with her royal duties, mind numbing work of smiling to cameras and making small talk.

It’s been a long week for Jungkook. His phone is constantly ringing with a call from either a reporter or someone he briefly knew, suddenly he’s gone from rising name in tech, to the boyfriend of the princess and it’s been taxing. But works still as usual, they’re still monitoring how the new game is going and in a weeks’ time, they have achieved the goals they set for the first quarter. This is a major victory, but Jungkook doesn’t feel like celebrating.

He leaves the conference room and walks to his office when he’s ambushed by the one of the many people he’s been dodging recently.

“Hyung? I thought you were busy with our advertising agency all day today?” Jungkook asks Jin who is currently blocking the entry into his office.

“That was yesterday and why haven’t you called me back or even texted me back” Jin asks as Jungkook stands still, thinking of a lie to make up.

“My phones been ringing like crazy, reporters and stuff” Jungkook isn’t entirely lying about it and Jin pulls Jungkook by the collar as he pulls him into the office. His brother is terrifyingly quiet as he shuts all the blinds.

“You’ve been dating someone for six months, no not just someone, Princess ___ and you met with her family, no the royal family and I find out all this from tabloids and newspapers?” Jin asks with a low voice as he rests against the table. His brother looks at him with worry and Jungkook wants to reassure him, but he can’t even reassure himself right now.

“Hyung it’s just… ___ is such a public person, I didn’t want to share something before I knew it was serious” Jungkook is thinking fast but Jin’s eyebrows stiffen as he scoffs.

“And you couldn’t trust me with that secret, your own brother?” Jin’s hurt, him dating a princess has gotten the company some weird scrutiny and he is worried about that as a CEO, but right now he’s more worried about his brother.

“It was not about trust, we were just in our own bubble” Jungkook’s answers are short because he’s still trying to think his way out of this. Jin walks and takes a seat beside him, “You do understand who you are dating right, because if this does go on, you’re promising to live a very public life?”

Jin’s question makes the migraine Jungkook’s has had for over a week, but he still musters up a bleak smile before he starts talking.

“I love her” Jungkook whispers, he doesn’t have the courage to lie about something so strong with his chest. But he can see that the simple statement is working as his brother eases and sits back on the sofa. Jungkook just did what ___ did during the dinner, a simple statement that made everyone on the table believe her.

“It’s amazing that you’ve found love, you deserve it, but are you sure you can take all the heat that comes with loving her?” Jin asks and Jungkook is starting to feel queasy with the word love being thrown around so casually.

“I um, I am not, I don’t know if I can take it all if I’m quite honest. It’s only been a week since we officially announced it and there are a few articles about me and my past that I don’t love” Jungkook stops for a second as he takes a deep shaky breath.

“But, I feel at ease when I’m around her, I’m always wondering what’s on her mind, when she smiles my problems don’t matter” Jungkook doesn’t know how he’s coming up with all this, maybe some lingering feelings from the day they first met. Jin is a bit blown away by all this, he came in hoping for all this to be nothing more than a fling but Jungkook’s words are wearing him down.

“Okay, so I guess we should arrange to meet her, you should invite her to mom and dad’s 25th anniversary celebration” Jin speaks and the terror returns to his eyes, how did he not anticipate this.

“Isn’t that too much, maybe just a dinner with you and Nari to start with” Jungkook knows he can’t keep her hidden from his family for much longer, especially when they’re making it look like a serious relationship.

“Sure, lets start there, next Saturday, at our place?” Jin asks as he stands up, it might be a Friday but there is still a ton of work that needs to be done.

“Okay, we’ll be there”

Yoongi is blabbing about how good a jacket fits but ___ could care less right now. She’s too focused as she scrolls on Instagram. People have made such cinematic edits, and the more shocking of them all are the video edits of Jungkook. People can be so creative with these and ___ just continues scrolling, not taking her eyes away even a bit.

“Clothes are just tailored better here, American brands don’t ever fit me like this” Yoongi speaks as he looks at himself in the mirror and that’s when he notices his sister hunched over her phone. Quietly, he walks by her and hunches over to see exactly what has taken her attention from shopping.

“Admiring your hot boyfriend, I can relate to that” Yoongi’s voice breaks her trance and she almost drops her phone, scrambling she checks if she didn’t accidently like the video, because that from her official profile would create some chaos.

“People are calling him the perfect hot nerd, I don’t know if that’s derogatory or not?” ___ asks referring to a specific edit of Jungkook in suits and glasses, she may have watched it one too many times.

“Hot nerd is good, do you know how rare it is for a man to be smart but also hot” Yoongi comments as the salesperson comes back with a rack of pants for him to try.

“Don’t call Jungkook hot, it’s weird” ___ exclaims with her knotted eyebrows and Yoongi just laughs as he picks up a few pieces and makes his way back into the dressing room.

“I’m stating a fact, come on, some appeal of being with Jungkook has to be how hot he is” Yoongi shouts and ___ is thankful that the owner closed the store just for them because of how embarrassing this is.

“Attractive, use attractive as the adjective” ___ interjects as she stands up herself, now that she was dragged here why not try on some jackets.

“Tell me the truth, the relationship started as a fling didn’t it. A man that hot doesn’t commit this quickly” Yoongi slides the curtains back as he looks at ___ with a cheeky smile and the blush on her face is giving him all the answers he needs.

“No it didn’t and again stop calling him hot” ___ mutters with gritted teeth as she puts on a leather jacket a few sizes too big.

“And given the article I read about his list of ex-girlfriends, he’s for sure not been into monogamy before you” Yoongi and ___ have always discussed her boyfriends of the past, this isn’t something new, but Yoongi talking about Jungkook like this feels very foreign.

“And given your skills in the bed room and I’m assuming his too-“ “Enough, we aren’t going to discuss that” ___ shouts with a stern look and very red ears. This is all the conformation Yoongi needed about this relationship being serious, ___ has always shared all the salacious details of her dating life, except once in the past when it was serious.

“That jacket is too bit for both you and Jimin” ___ notes as the sales person bills the leather jacket she had tried on earlier.

“Because it’s for Jungkook, who we are meeting for dinner, I can’t show up empty handed” Yoongi remarks and it takes a while for ___ to register what exactly was said.

“What? Why? When did you even? How did you get his number?” ___ asks as she scrambles to find her phone, she hadn’t checked her phone in a while because of all the shopping.

“Because I can’t leave without meeting him one-on-one, I got his number from Namjoon and he was quite frazzled when he picked up the call as well” Yoongi teases as ___ glares at Namjoon, her security officer isn’t explicitly told of the arrangement but he’s very perceptive and there is no way ___ would be dating someone without him knowing.

Just as she expected, there are a thread of panicked texts and a few missed calls from Jungkook. One text in all caps particularly stands out to her, WHY IS YOUR BROTHER CALLING ME

“When did you call him?” ___ asks and her voice is way too panicked. She is not prepared to pretend tonight, she isn’t mentally ready after what happened last night.

“Because you’ve been coming up with excuses to delay me meeting him properly, I went directly to the source” Yoongi’s tone is casual as he hands his card for all the damage made in just a few hours.

“He’s been busy-“ “Yes, but I’m your older brother, I need to check out the man who you seem to be making out on the streets” Yoongi teases and ___ flips him off as they make their way out.

“This is so sneaky of you” ___ whines as Namjoon and him continue to put the shopping bags in the car. ___ also texted Jungkook a He completely blindsided me and I’m so sorry to reassure him.

“Sneaky is your thing” “What’s that supposed to mean?” ___ asks with her crossed arms and Yoongi chuckles as he shuts the door behind him.

“You’re the one that kept him a secret for six months, I’m simply catching up” he remarks as he gets inside the car and ___ just huffs as she gives in.

Jungkook: Let’s just stick to the script and you handle the tough questions

___: Yes and again I apologise

Jungkook: My brother cornered me into invited you to dinner too

Jungkook: I may be a bit late, my workout went on longer than expected

___: It’s okay, I’ll see you there

They made their way to a hip new Italian restraunt from the backdoor, they are seated all the way in the back in an attempt to not gather too much attention. ___ is too nervous to focus on how cool the restraunt is, she’s trying to get back to pretend mode. She has to sell this relationship hard, because Yoongi can read her well and there can’t be any slip ups.

She’s chewing on her lip are Yoongi reads the wine list, her eyes are fixed on the backdoor, she’s hoping something comes up last minute and he has to cancel. The lights are dim but she can clearly see Jungkook walk closer to the table with a small smile.

“I am so sorry for being late” “You smell of cigarettes” Yoongi comments the second Jungkook extends his hand for a handshake. He had to calm himself down before this, he didn’t account for the smell.

“Well yes-“ “Is he the reason you started smoking again? What purpose does it even serve” Yoongi starts off with the same lecture and Jungkook smiles timidly as he takes a seat beside ___.

“Can you not, I am an adult, I can smoke if I want to and so can he” ___ is much more proactive today but she loses her cool for a second when Jungkook drapes his arm behind her chair, the closeness feeling even more suffocating.

“I don’t love the habit-“ “You have asthma for fucks sake, it is so bad for you” Yoongi interrupts Jungkook once again and he just clears his throat, this is clearly not off to a good start.

“I’m fine, can we just drop it” ___ ignores the two men as she picks up her menu and the two men do the same. The server comes and takes their orders promptly and more than enough food is ordered while the two siblings quietly continue to sip on their wine.

“So, I herd that you’re going on tour soon, that must be exciting” Jungkook can’t take the silence anymore, this is a whole new stubborn ___ he’s seeing today and he can’t take it anymore.

“Yes, 18 shows, I’m in town to finalizes some final details” Yoongi shares as the appetizers are served. The food distracts them for a while as the two men make some more small talk about the upcoming tour.

“How serious is this,” Yoongi asks as he gestures between the two of them with a fork, “Has she staked claim over a dresser at your place” Yoongi asks so casually but the two of them understand just how nuanced the question is.

“Space in my closet yes” Jungkook answers as he takes a big sip, completely emptying the wine glass. Yoongi is clearly satisfied, given his cheeky smile.

“There isn’t any of your stuff at her place, or even her room” Yoongi insinuates and ___ takes a deep breath while Jungkook takes a big bite, she’s answering this one

“Why were you snooping in my room?” “I was looking for moisturizer” Yoongi answers promptly, still waiting for an explanation.

“You use more skincare than me, you have moisturizer in your bag right now and Jungkook doesn’t come over at my place often, to keep a low profile” ___ answers and Yoongi nods with understanding, from his point of view, all of this looks good so far.

The rest of the dinner stiff with a few laughs here and there. Jungkook is sweating under his jacket as he realises just how unprepared the two of them are, at least they are good liars.

“What are the weekend plans?” Yoongi asks after explaining how he’s leaving for Japan tonight. “What do you want to do?” Jungkook asks almost instinctively and the blush on her cheeks reappears, not knowing what to say.

“Nothing, you probably need lots of rest, you’ve had a busy couple weeks” ___ says softly with a familiarity knowing that what she’s saying is what she actually means and not pretending right now.

Yoongi observes as the couple faintly exchange a few words every now and then, shuffling closer and closer as more wine is poured. ___ has this calmness when she talks to him that he hasn’t seen before, maybe being with Jungkook isn’t all that bad.

“My time at boarding school the greatest, those four years felt like one long sleepover with my best friends” ___ shares with Jin and Nari as Jungkook looks at her with awe, every day he learns something new about her.

“Did you not miss your family, your support system?” Nari asks with genuine curiosity and ___ chews her food a bit quicker to answer enthusiastically.

“I did at the start, but I was so busy with classes, sports, extra curriculars, it forced me to find a support system there” ___ shares as she eats another big spoonful of soup, she’s glad that they didn’t chose anything fancy for food but rather stuck to Korean food.

“I think it’s helped me so far in life very well, I read people well, I can acclimate to new situations better” ___ shares and Jungkook sits quietly as he observes her eating so well, he wonders if this dinner is her first meal of the day.

“Our kid isn’t even born yet but I can’t even bare the thought of being away from my child” Jin finally speaks up and ___ smiles widely at the expecting couple, Nari is currently four months pregnant and they are already in the protective parent mode.

“Wonik and Haein used to be like that but they are seriously considering boarding school for Jia” ___ shares ever so casually like she isn’t talking about the other two most important people in the country after her mother.

“Jia isn’t exactly the most low-profile person in the country, and the attention she’s been getting is definitely affecting her” there’s concern in ___’s voice as she shares, Jungkook wonders if the attention has been affecting her too.

“Being away from the country may let her have somewhat normal experiences while she can” ___ voice is soft as she recalls having this exact conversation with Haein a few months ago.

“It makes sense, the attention has been affecting me, it’s bound to affect a child” Jungkook finally chimes in and ___ turns and looks at him with worry.

“It has been?” the warmth in her voice catches Jungkook off guard, him almost choking on his rice with she places her hand on his. ___ quickly recoils from the foreign touch, going back to her rice like business as usual.

“Nothing I can’t handle-“ “He’s been enjoying the attention actually, cheesing on edits of himself” Jin chimes in and Jungkook snares at his older brother while ___ chuckles.

“Right in the middle of a stand-up meeting, mind you” Jin adds as the couple across the table cracks up while Jungkook goes red with embarrassment.

“Those editors are quite talented, making an average person like me look like royalty” ___ joins in the joke, her timing and sarcasm making everyone on the table laugh.

Jin’s starting to get why his brother is so enamoured with her. She’s likable, funny, confident, there’s something magnetic about her. He sees the way Jungkook steals glances every five seconds, like he can’t believe she’s sitting beside him.

Conversation flows from work to vacations to their upcoming child to the latest celebrity gossip. Jungkook’s glad any difficult questions that required sticking to the script didn’t come up, he wasn’t sure how well he could lie to two people he loves so much.

___ sighs deeply the second they enter the elevator, the dinner seemed to go on forever and it just added to the long day she had. The sigh concerns Jungkook, in his eyes this did go well, better than it did with Yoongi anyway.

“Did I come off too prepared? I asked Taehyung to prepare potential small talk, did I come off like I was reading off a script” ___ asks candidly and Jungkook goes back to the dinner, realising why she was steering the conversation in her ways, of course she prepared to keep up appearances.

“No, you did just fine” Jungkook comment and ___ sighs, just fine is clearly not good enough, no matter how hard she practices. Jungkook still finds it a bit strange with they go from acting like a couple in love to strangers standing next to each other.

“I’m supposed to be picking you up from university on Tuesday night, right?” Jungkook asks opening his calendar as they walk to her car. The familiarly in his voice now replaced with straightforwardness. Namjoon’s already waiting with an open door and she slides in, ready to head home already.

“Yes” “Alright, Tuesday, 6 pm ma’am” Jungkook leaves with a curt bow, his formality and walls come up every time it’s just the two of them.

It’s early March and the cold isn’t as mind melting as it was a few weeks ago, but it’s still cold. ___ hurried out of her apartment this afternoon, knowing she was running late for her lecture, and in that rush, she forgot about a jacket. Her thin sweater is doing the best it can, but the minute she walks out the lecture hall, the chill hits her spine.

“You wanna come out with us, they have a college festival going on in NSU, we’re thinking drinks after?” Yeonjun asks pointing to the rest of the people who look just ready to get drunk.

“I wish I could but I have some duties early tomorrow and my boyfriend’s coming to pick me up” ___ talks as Yeonjun chuckles walking right beside her. Yeonjun may be the first friend she’s made in Seoul, he doesn’t care that she’s a princess and that’s why she likes him.

“And we’re getting dinner afterwards-“ “Maybe also a bike ride around the city, how dangerous your royal highness” Yeonjun says and ___ looks at her confused but the realization hits her when she looks the way Yeonjun is.

Jungkook’s standing against his parked bike, the lose jeans and leather jacket are starkly different to the suits she’s used to seeing him in. His hair sits flat on his forehead while he continues to smoke the cigarette. He looks so different than he usually does and ___ doesn’t know how to act.

“Your smoker boyfriend can join us, maybe smoke something better than a cigarette” Yeonjun jokes as they walk closer to them, ___ playfully punches him and that’s the second Jungkook zeroes in on them.

“That’s a very dangerous thing to say to a royal princess young man” ___ jokes as they walk even closer, Jungkook is quick to put out his cigarette as he sees the two walking closer to him, he recognizes the man and according to the tabloids, he’s a friend of hers.

“Introduce us, do you talk to him about your rascal friend who you steal joints from sometimes?” Yeonjun jokes again as they cross the street and ___ almost pushes him off the crossing. Jungkook looks at him with mystery, the more he sees her, the more he realises just how much he doesn’t know much about her.

“Hey” ___ switches onto girlfriend mode quickly and seizes the distance with a quick peck on his cheek, Jungkook is a bit frazzled for a few seconds, he still doesn’t get how she acts so seamlessly.

“Hey” Jungkook jumps up and stands straight, he still finds it difficult to touch her, he feels like he isn’t allowed to. But he also knows that there are camera men all around, hiding somewhere, Han told him.

“Jungkook, this is Yeonjun, he is a business major but he likes to sit in psychology class because he’s evil” ___ introduces her friend and Jungkook can sense this familiarity between the two, he feels a twinge of some feeling he isn’t too sure about.

“It’s not for evil purposes, understanding psychology is key to any business” Yeonjun explains as the two men shake their hands. ___ looks at Jungkook, he’s particularly stiff today, she wonders if things are tough at the office.

“___ tells me that you guys have plans tonight but you should come to the party I’m throwing in Jeju, it’s my birthday and I sold my first company so I’m fat with money right now” Yeonjun talks confidently and ___ chuckles awkwardly as she kicks her friend.

“It’s happening next Saturday, you have to come, I need to pick your brain about that supremely successful business of yours” Yeonjun talks again and Jungkook is hyperaware that all he’s spoken so far is a soft, ‘hi’.

“I’ll have to check my calendar but I’ll try my best” Jungkook answers dryly as ___ rubs her hands together, if Yeonjun wasn’t such a social butterfly he would have caught up on this awkwardness.

“Well, I’ll leave the two of you to your fairytale, royal highness” Yeonjun bows and turns around to the people waiting for him, Jungkook removes his jacket and slips it on ___, she shivered twice and he noticed.

“Thank you” ___ talks and it doesn’t sound so scripted, like she actually meant it. She remembers this jacket, it’s the one Yoongi gave to him.

Jungkook mumbled at a red light asking if she was hungry and ___ mumbled a no as she gingerly kept her hands around him. She’s scared and it’s very clear to him, he should have just driven his car.

The drive outside the city is starting to relax as the air starts to get thinner, the traffic more sparce and Jungkook easing up on the accelerator. Her fingers tightly grip onto his t-shirt, every now and then her hands graze his torso, making him lose his train of thought every time.

“There’s a place around the outskirts, they got the best ox tail soup” Jungkook shares as they stop at another red light, to his left he can see the passenger in the car clicking their pictures, this has happened a few times today.

“We can eat something local if you’re scared” Jungkook asks as he cracks his knuckles and ___ mumbles a small ‘it’s fine’ that’s interrupted by him reaching for her hands and placing them firmly around his torso. She’s taken aback by this movement, but at least her hands aren’t cold and safely under his t-shirt.

The sky is lit with orange hues of sunset as Jungkook kicks the stand and they finally stop. Sure ___ was scared at first, but midway she started focusing on the scenery around her and her hands weren’t cold anymore, she started enjoying it.

It’s Jungkook’s hands that are cold as she reaches over for help, the road outside is gravelled and she wore heels assuming they’d go to some regular restaurant.

“Namjoon, there’s a hoodie in the truck, can you bring that?” ___ turn around to ask Namjoon who nods as they’re seated in an old-style restaurant. A few eyes linger on them but thankfully they’re able to find a table in the back.

“It smells amazing” ___ comments as an older lady comes by to take their order. She is definitely starstruck given how much she’s fidgeting.

“Ox tail soup is my favourite, how long have you guys been running this restaurant?” ___ asks in an attempt to comfort her as Jungkook fills their cups with warm water.

 “My grandfather started it back in 1945, to make warm meals for truckers, now we have a lot of visitors from the city, wanting a respite” she answers with a warm smile.

“We only serve one thing, helps keep our costs low, so I will make sure that your soups are extra delicious” she jokes and ___ chuckles with charm, Jungkook watched how quickly ___ made a pretty nervous woman feel comfortable around her, she truly does some magic on people.

There’s quietness on the table as they eat, ___ spent years in boarding school where she picked up the habit of not talking while they eat and Jungkook doesn’t know what they could even talk about.

“You don’t have to come to the party, I’m sure you have a ton of work” ___ finally speaks up as they get a refill on their rice. The soup is actually fixing the migraine Jungkook’s had for a while now, but the mention of the party tenses him right back.

“Do you not want me there?” Jungkook’s tone isn’t accusatory and he’s trying very hard to mask it. ___ coughs as she chokes on the soup and Jungkook quickly refills her water and hands her a tissue.

“It’s not that, um” she stops to take a big gulp of her water, his eyes fixed on her all this while, “I don’t want to impose” “You aren’t, wouldn’t it be natural for your pretend boyfriend to be at a party with you” Jungkook speaks as he goes back to focusing on his soup and ___ is stumped about how to deal with this.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to come, I don’t want to force you to spend time with me when you don’t have to” ___ shares and the blank look on his face doesn’t give her any answers, he just goes back to eating.

“Ma’am the hoodie” Namjoon hands her a grey hoodie as they’re walking out the restaurant. She passes it onto Jungkook who puts it on right away, it takes a minute for it to click but ___’s starting to remember where the hoodie is from.

“Oh no, you can’t wear that” ___ stops him with a firm hand on his chest, he looks at her confused, waiting for her to explain herself.

“It’s one of my ex boyfriends, give me that, I’ll wear that and you wear your-“ “You wearing your ex boyfriends hoodie on a date with your current boyfriend is so much worse” Jungkook abruptly pulls the jacket around her, wanting to keep it put and pulling her closer in the process.

“Namjoon is there any other jacket there?” “No ma’am” ___ sighs as she breaks away from his grip, hopefully they don’t encounter any paparazzi who connect the dots.

“Which on does this belong to? Aiden, Hunter? Peter, is it William or Jaco-“ “It’s none of them” ___ huffs as she walks away and in a rare moment of honesty, Jungkook chuckles following her.

“You have dated a lot of rich, white men, a very specific type isn’t it” Jungkook continues the teasing as ___ leans against the bike, she had hoped that Jungkook wouldn’t come across those articles about her dating life, but be obviously has.

“Do you have a smoke?” “Ma’am there are paparazzi across the street, I’d advise against smoking” Namjoon interjects, but ___ still looks at Jungkook expectantly who just points to his jacket.

“Of course they are here, everywhere I breath they’re there, I can’t go to the doctor without being ambushed by them” ___ whines as she lights a cigarette, Jungkook turns around to access the situation, there are approximately 5 cameramen.

“Last week they caught me without makeup and now I have plastic surgery recommendations from netizens, I get a pimple sometimes, am I not a human” Jungkook doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he watches her, really watches her. People scrutinize him, sure, but they don’t pick apart every inch of his body, every breath he takes, every tiny imperfection they can find. He isn’t expected to be flawless. She is.

“Do you ever wish that you weren’t born into the circumstances that you were?” Jungkook’s question is nuanced, he’s though about this a thousand times thought his life. To his surprise she smiles as she passes him the cigarette.

“I wish I wasn’t born sometimes” ___ answers as she pulls the jacket tighter, “My first memory is of my grandfather telling me that I belong to the people, even before I belong to myself” ____ shares and Jungkook is stumped by all this, he expected a joke, snarky comment, even some truth, but he didn’t expect this kind of vulnerability.

“He told me, my name, my face, my choices, none of them belong to me. Every breath I take is for my service to the people” ___ continues talking and Jungkook takes a long drag.

There’s a long silence as they continue to share the cigarette, but it isn’t odd or uncomfortable. For the first time today Jungkook feels comfortable with her, probably because of how vulnerable she has been.

“People are comforted by your presence, I saw how you were with the lady in there” Jungkook talks as he puts out the cigarette. “If someone else were born as the princess, the people would have missed out on you”

Jungkook’s compliment sits heavy with her, that’s all she can think about on her way back. The bike ride stretches on, the city lights flickering in the distance, but her thoughts keep drifting back to his words. He spoken so easily, without pretence, without needing anything in return.

Monday mornings are very important to Jungkook, he uses the day to set the right tone for the week. All his meetings are usually scheduled for Mondays, he wakes up extra early to get a long workout in. But today instead of driving directly to the office, he has an unexpected pit stop.

The apartment is completely dark, Taehyung stumbles upon some heels the moment he walks into the living room. There is half eaten food on the dining table and a spilled water right by her room.

“What happened here?” Taehyung asks as he picks up the now spilled bottle of water, “She came back from Jeju this early this morning and has been in her room ever since” Namjoon answers walking into the kitchen and plops a rag on the water before someone slips on it.

“Oh, that party, god the pictures have caused so much frenzy, she makes my life so difficult” Taehyung grumbles as he knocks again.

“She’s allowed to let lose sometimes, and it was just drinking and some smoking, my security team made sure that there weren’t any drugs there” Namjoon defends ___ as he knocks too. The doorbell rings and Namjoon immediately walks away to open the door.

“Your royal highness” “Go away, I’m dead” ___ grumbles as she turns around in the bed, her head feels heavy, she feels weak, she’s thrown up twice since she got home but she’s still nauseous.

“Ma’am we’re here for the meeting, you asked for us to be here” Taehyung talks through the door. Jungkook walks into the apartment, he’s never been here and he too almost stumbles on some luggage.

“Taehyung I’m dying, you should be out there applying for new jobs” ___ yells but it’s pretty muffled as she wraps her entire body in the warm duvet. She’s cold but also hot, her brain doesn’t work anymore.

“If you’re sick you need to let us in-“ “The door isn’t locked” ___ cries out and Namjoon comes and opens the door for them. The inside isn’t much better, all the lights are on, the door to the bathroom is open, the tap is running for some reason, and there’s a lit cigarette on an ash tray and an half empty bottle of vodka on the side table.

“What happened?” Taehyung asks as he gingerly walks closer to the bed to put out the cigarette before it starts a fire. Jungkook watches all this as he rests against the doorframe, this is a lot for Monday morning.

“Can you save the stupid question for later, given I don’t die” ___ speaks as pulls the duvet down. Taehyung sighs as he crouches down to her level.

“Mr Kook and I are here for the meeting” Taehyung speaks softly and she grumbles as she tries to stand up and failing twice, she may still be drunk.

“It’s fine, we can do the meeting tomorrow if she’s hungover” Jungkook’s voice is hurting her head but she peeps and realises there are three men in her room and she doesn’t remember if she put on her pyjama pants.

“I am so sorry for disrupting your mornings, but this will be a nice memory to remember me by when I’m dead” Jungkook can’t help but chuckle as he watches ___ struggle with turning around, she just gives up and lies back down.

“Okay, this works out because I have people from the press waiting in my office” Taehyung practically runs out the room and Namjoon picks up the duvet and covers her feet properly.

“How bad is it, the sophomore year Halloween party or the freshman year Halloween party?” Namjoon’s voice booms from the foot of the bed and ___ is starting to get nauseous again.

“This is the new worst, Namjoon what if I die, of too much vodka” ___ cries out and Jungkook chuckles again and she glares at him, she’s too hungover to care about how bad this looks.

Namjoon is amused as Jungkook rummages through the kitchen, he opens a few drawers and sighs out loud at the empty fridge.

“I’m sure she’ll apologies about this late cancellation tomorrow-“ “Namjoon can you have someone do a grocery run, and stop at a pharmacy?” Jungkook asks looking around for something to write the list of stuff on.

“You’re staying, I’m sure you’re needed back at the office” Namjoon retorts picking up a notepad and pen from the study and handing it. Jungkook quickly jots a few things down and hands the list to Namjoon.

“It’s fine, she has duties this afternoon, doesn’t she?” “Yes, she’s and the rest of the royal family are hosting a lunch for the US president at 1” Namjoon answers and Jungkook nods removing his jacket and rolling his sleeves.

“So, we have five hours for her to be not hungover and drunk-“ “She’s drunk?” “There was a half empty bottle of vodka by her bed, she’s definitely still drunk” Jungkook answers and picks up his buzzing phone.

“Yes, Han my text read right, I’ll come to the office by lunch” Jungkook speaks as he leans against the kitchen counter. “I understand that the dev team came into the office especially for a meeting, just tell them my girlfriend is sick, it’ll remind them to have a life outside of work”

Namjoon and a few other members soon bring in all the things that Jungkook asked for. He’s had a few wild nights himself and the formula is simple, something for hydration, something for the upset stomach and something to throw up.

Jungkook’s back in her room and she is clearly asleep evidenced by the soft snores. He makes his way to the bed and places the green smoothie by the bed stand.

“Ma’am, it’s almost 11, you need to get up” Jungkook speaks softly as he removes the duvet from her face, most of it still hidden with her tousled hair. She doesn’t wake up right away, but murmurs something as she turns away.

“___” Jungkook speaks again as he takes a seat on the bed, this is foreign territory to him, being in her home, in her room, sitting on her bed. He could have easily just left for office, but he didn’t.

“Taehyung why are you here, start planning my funeral” ___ mumbles and Jungkook laughs, she jerks up when she recognises the laugh.

“Why, why, um why are you here?” her voice is coarse and the world is spinning, she blinks rapidly not knowing is she’s dreaming this.

“Because you called you yesterday and asked me to help you” Jungkook voice is low and calm, breaking through the fog of confusion she’s clearly in.

“I did,” “Yes, now drink this, crucial first step” Jungkook says as he picks up the big glass full of green smoothie while ___ tries to get her hair out of her face.

“Do I have to?” ___ asks as she painfully holds her head, she would be embarrassed about Jungkook seeing her in this condition but the hangover is using up all her brain cells right now.

“Yes, drink up” Jungkook holds up the glass in front of her and she complies. She sips it slowly, the taste not as bad as she expected, though it's still hard to ignore the strong taste of vegetables that makes her stomach churn slightly.

“This will fix this?” she asks handing Jungkook back the empty glass, “No this will make you throw up” Jungkook answers as he stands up and ___ scowls, the liquids already churning in her stomach.

“WHY?” “Because I have a fool proof plan, I’ll leave the door closed but don’t you dare go back to sleep”

___ puts up her hair in a towel and fastens her bath gown before she steps out the room. She doesn’t feel all better now but it’s still so bad. She tightens the belt of her bathrobe again, feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious as she steps into the open space. Jungkook is leaning against the counter, sleeves still rolled up, scrolling through his phone like he belongs here. Like it’s normal.

“That helped, didn’t it?” Jungkook asks coming over with another glass of something, she’s more hesitant taking this glass this time because she possibly can’t throw up any more.

“Will this make me throw up?” “No, it’s coconut water, sip on it slowly and eat this” Jungkook instructs as she takes a seat on the dining table, she doesn’t have any energy to keep standing.

“Dry toast? Greasy food helps with hangovers?” ___ asks as Jungkook takes the seat beside her, “That’ll upset your stomach”

She sips on the coconut water, the cool liquid soothing her throat. “You didn’t have to do all this,” she says, her voice quieter now.

Jungkook sits back his arms crossed, “You called,” he repeats, as if that alone explains everything.

She doesn’t remember much from last night, but she remembers that—reaching for her phone, his name the first one she thought of. She wonders what exactly she said, what kind of mess she dragged him into, but she doesn’t have the courage to ask.

___ puts up her hair in a towel and fastens her bath gown before she steps out the room. She doesn’t feel all better now but it’s still so bad. She tightens the belt of her bathrobe again, feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious as she steps into the open space. Jungkook is leaning against the counter, sleeves still rolled up, scrolling through his phone like he belongs here. Like it’s normal.

“That helped, didn’t it?” Jungkook asks coming over with another glass of something, she’s more hesitant taking this glass this time because she possibly can’t throw up any more.

“Will this make me throw up?” “No, it’s coconut water, sip on it slowly and eat this” Jungkook instructs as she takes a seat on the dining table, she doesn’t have any energy to keep standing.

“Dry toast? Greasy food helps with hangovers?” ___ asks as Jungkook takes the seat beside her, “That’ll upset your stomach”

She sips on the coconut water, the cool liquid soothing her throat. “You didn’t have to do all this,” she says, her voice quieter now.

Jungkook sits back his arms crossed, “You called,” he repeats, as if that alone explains everything.

She doesn’t remember much from last night, but she remembers that—reaching for her phone, his name the first one she thought of. She wonders what exactly she said, what kind of mess she dragged him into, but she doesn’t have the courage to ask.

The makeup and hair team keep her busy as she dozes off in the chair, Jungkook periodically picks up some work calls while he’s busy moving around in her kitchen. Jungkook doesn’t cook very often, most of his meals are delivered to the office but he can still make some porridge.

“Thank you for all this” ___ is back to her graceful self as she takes a seat back on the dining table in her matching tweed set. Jungkook looks at her, now perfectly put together, as if the dishevelled, hungover mess from earlier never existed. It’s almost comical how seamlessly she’s slipped back into her role as the royal princess.

“Even tho you didn’t have to” ___ talks as she plays around with the porridge, she isn’t too sure if she trusts her stomach yet. But she still gingerly takes a small bite and it instantly helps her.

“Feeling better? Because you definitely look better” Jungkook speaks as he continues to clean up around the apartment.

“I definitely don’t feel like death anymore” ___ speaks as she takes another bite, she hadn’t realised how hungry she was till she started eating. To her surprise, Jungkook comes over with a bowl of food for himself and starts eating. All this is way to domestic and she’s not used to it.

“Ma’am the car is ready for you, also the coffee you ordered” Namjoon speaks placing the coffee by Jungkook. He may know how to cook, but he doesn’t know how to operate her complicated coffee machine.

“This one’s for you,” Jungkook places a cup in front of her and she’s the happiest seeing coffee, “Namjoon told me that you prefer iced coffee but a hot latte will help right now” Jungkook explains as he picks up his as well as her utensils.

They step into the elevator, their coffees in each their hand and to an onlooker they may look like any regular couple on their way to work. The quiet hum of the elevator fills the space between them, the scent of freshly brewed coffee lingering in the air. She takes a careful sip of the latte, the warmth spreading through her, easing the last remnants of this hangover.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, your office?” ___ asks as they step out their building, “Yes, and no drinking for the next 48 hours” Jungkook jokes as he fishes out his car keys from his jacket. They’re both back on their own way, but ___ wonders what caused her to call him at 4 am, why did he even pick up. Jungkook had no obligation to be there. He had no reason to put his entire morning on hold just to make sure she was okay. And yet, he did.

The panic ___ feels is getting worse and worse as she walks through the palace. The old doors creak as she forces them open but she finally spots her mother sitting in one of the many reading rooms.

“You’re out of breath” her father comments but doesn’t look up and ___ catches her breath and takes a seat across them. The queen knew ___ would come to see them, just wasn’t aware that she would be so panicked.

“So, it’s Jungkook’s parent’s 25th anniversary soon and I’m invited, but attending a party full of people would be fine, at most I’d just have to impress then for ten minutes top. But his mother called and insisted that I join them a day early, just with the family and I think I’m having a panic attack” ___ huffs and takes a deep breath as one of the servants comes and hands her a glass of water.

“That’s wonderful, isn’t it?” the queen asks as she removes her reading glasses and closes her book.

“No, it’s terrifying,” ___ responds quickly, wrapping both hands around the cold glass. “What if I say something wrong? What if I mess up some tradition I don’t know about? What if they don’t like me?”

Her father finally looks up from his newspaper, arching a single brow. “You do realize you’re a princess, don’t you? People are literally trained to like you.”

___ groans, sinking deeper into the chair. “It’s different. This isn’t just public appearances or charming a crowd for ten minutes. This is his family. They’ll see right through me.”

Her mother watches her carefully, a knowing smile playing on her lips. “You like him.”

___’s head snaps up. “What?” “You like him,” the queen repeats, tilting her head slightly. “If this were just another obligation, you wouldn’t be panicking like this.”

“I—No, that’s not—” ___ stumbles over her words before shutting her mouth entirely. She looks away, staring at the heavy curtains instead, but the warmth creeping up her neck betrays her.

Her mother hums knowingly. “You’ll be fine. You were raised to handle situations far worse than a family dinner. Just be yourself.”

Her father who’s still reading his newspaper replies “And don’t be weird about it.” ___ groans again, sitting back. “Great advice, thanks.”

“It’s great that things are going well with the two of you” the queen talks as she continues taking small sips of her tea. “Yeah great, so great, fantastic” ___’s voice is still panicked as she finishes off the glass of water and reaches for a cookie.

“It’s too bad that things with Wonik and Haein are so turbulent right now” the queen shares and ___ stops chewing the cookie.

“They are?” “I don’t know the details but there have been one too many loud arguments. Jia was crying about her parents fighting to the school counsellor.” The queen is worried as she puts her tea cup down. It’s more than just her son and daughter in law fighting, it’s the future king and queen having marriage trouble.

“I am sure they will figure it out, they have to” her father chimes in and ___ sighs sitting up straight.

“What if they don’t?” ___ asks with genuine curiosity, when they got married ten years ago Wonik wasn’t the king in waiting, they couldn’t have possibly thought how differently things would be.

“It’s a royal marriage in a country with low marriage rates, the future king can’t be a divorced” her father chimes in as he finally closes his newspaper, “So, they have to work to have a functioning marriage, even if it resembles an arrangement” the last bit seems to be directed solely at ___, the last word weighing heavy on her.

Jungkook is deep in sleep around 4 in the morning, his alarm doesn’t go off for another two hours but his phone is already buzzing against his cheek. He barely opens his eyes, but they jolt open the second he reads the name of the caller.

“Fucking finally, I’ve called you like a hundred times already” ___’s voice booms from the other side and Jungkook groans putting the call on speaker as he lies back down.

“For the record, I wanted you there, in Jeju with me but I didn’t want to force you to spend time with me, it is very clear to me that this is all an arrangement” ___ slurs on her words but it’s the hurt in her words that Jungkook’s more focused on.

“I am sorry that because of my lapse of judgement has caused you a suffering life time with me” she says, her words carrying more weight than he’s prepared for. Jungkook’s chest tightens, and his stomach twists in response to the vulnerability she’s exposing, but all he can do is listen. There’s nothing else he can say right now, not with the hurt so evident in her voice.

“But for once can I be selfish, can you take care of me tomorrow, pretend like you actually care because the way I’ve been drinking,” she stops talking and Jungkook can hear her taking a long sip of her drink.

“Because I’m going to get real depressed tomorrow, having to take care of myself in that lonely apartment that feels like a hotel, I can’t cry myself to sleep one more night, I want a day of rest from this loneliness that eats me alive” ___ rambles and Jungkook takes a long sharp breath, his heart sinks as her words hit him with a weight he wasn’t ready for. The rawness in her voice, the way she’s spilling her emotions, it catches him off guard. He had always known she carried a lot, but hearing it laid out like this—it’s impossible to ignore.

“Okay, I’ll be there, I promise you won’t have to do tomorrow by yourself”

Tag List - Tag List - @soblavk @livingkoalaface @solastica @futuristicenemychaos @yooforeaa @11thenightwemet11 @rkivestation

[axlennyyy]

I didn’t know how to make it look good. I don’t use tumblr that much…

Summary-

——

"Y/N… I need to finish this—can't you wait…?" He mumbles, a soft sigh escaping his lips, attempting to maintain his composure despite him gripping the seat to keep himself in that chair. So many weeks with him keeping all of his thoughts to himself, and even now he tries to hide it, how much he needs release from it all. He had to admit he was flustered, so desperately needy for your touch. But he had to finish this. It was important. Nothing could distract him now, not even you.

When you hear this, your eyes widen in shock. You guess he wasn't going to give in as easily as you thought. “No, that can wait, I cannot– I need you now.”

—

Or, he’s overworked, and your underfucked :)

*** this work is for adult audiences. Minors DNI ***

Warnings: smut, Overstimulation, Vaginal Fingering, unprotected sex (don’t), Light BDSM, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Creampie, Minimal use of Y/N

3.9k words, - cross posted on ao3 :,)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63023806/chapters/161404672

I need you closer

It had been so long since you'd last seen him like that, a mess, whimpering under you with tears in his eyes as he begged—and oh, you missed it. He is always busy now, working on some new album for his group. It made you sad to see him worn out like that, seeing that shine in his pretty eyes slowly get numbed away over time as the pressure overwhelmed him. It was like its own special torture that he couldn’t help but dive deeper into. It killed you to see him like that, and you were growing needy for him, to help relieve some of the pressure that’s been building up inside him.

As the days passed, you felt more hopeless of doing anything with him since he wouldn't get off his damned computer. Days turned to weeks, and those weeks being pent up with so many feelings turned you crazy, you simply couldn't take it anymore. He’s your husband. He should be taking care of you, loving you, letting you rule his life. So, if he wasn't going to do anything, then you might as well try.

You spent the whole day cleaning and making his favorite food. That night, when he got home from practice, he immediately sat at the dinner table with his computer, opening a file to edit something for a bit longer before he notices the scent of his favorite dish.

“What did you make for dinner?” He asks as he finally looked at you for the first time today.

“Oh, nothing much, but there's dessert too. I don't mind whichever you have first.” You say as you placed a piece of cheesecake and a spoon in front of him.

“You made cheesecake? Are you trying to bribe me?” He teases as he uses the spoon to scoop up a small bite before lifting it to his mouth to eat.

“Did I say that out loud or what? Sheesh, it's kind of scary how fast you read me.”

“No, it just seems like something you’d do. And since that’s what's happening… What is it exactly that you want from me?” He questions, his eyebrow raising a tiny bit as he watched you curiously.

“Well, if you really want to know… I planned to have you under me tonight. I know that you’ve been so busy lately so I thought that I should help you out, let me do all of the work, I know how to push your buttons…” You toy, looking into his eyes to see his reaction. Once you say that, you see blush form brightly on his cheeks and ears. You won, or that's what you thought.

“I—I hate to break it to you, but I'm not done with this song. I haven't even pitched the idea yet—”

“Shhh… I don’t need you to help, I need you to listen. So be good for me and try to stay quiet.” You whisper, hearing his breath hitch. He always submitted to you so easily.

“What do you think? Are you going to let yourself go tonight?” You hum, loving the way that he looked up at you, trying to resist you can see the struggle in his eyes. Jisung's eyes widen in surprise, his breathing becoming heavier as he gazes up at you with a mix of anticipation and desire. You could feel the tension between you both, the air thick with unspoken words and unfulfilled promises.

"Y/N… I need to finish this—can't you wait…?" He mumbles, a soft sigh escaping his lips, attempting to maintain his composure despite him gripping the seat to keep himself in that chair. So many weeks with him keeping all of his thoughts to himself, and even now he tries to hide it, how much he needs release from it all. He had to admit he was flustered, so desperately needy for your touch. But he had to finish this. It was important. Nothing could distract him now, not even you.

When you hear this, your eyes widen in shock. You guess he wasn't going to give in as easily as you thought. “No, that can wait, I cannot– I need you now.”

“It’ll just be a couple minutes…”

“That's what you say, but it takes you hours to actually finish up.”

“Y/N… I really don't want to disappoint you–” Jisung say with a strain in his voice, the sound of his groggy words only making you more desperate.

“Then just shut it, let me do the rest.” You say affirmingly, getting off the table and sitting on his lap, facing him, before quickly going in for a kiss. You kiss him as you teasingly trail your tongue on his bottom lip as you press against him, trying to close as much contact between you as possible. Your desperation was obvious to him. His hands instinctively grabbed onto your waist, not pushing you off but stopping your movements.

“Fine, if we're going to do this then– do you want me to wear a condom?” He mumbles against your neck, feeling his lips against your skin, breathing in the sweet smell of your perfume.

“I don't think it really matters… Plus, who said you'll have the chance to cum inside me? I'm going to guide you through it, whether you like it or not. You will only cum if I give you permission.” You gently palm his crotch, feeling his erection pressing against his shorts. Seeing how worked up he was already, you grab his wrist and lead him to your shared bedroom, shoving him onto the bed without a second thought. He fell back onto the bed, his breath got heavier, a small smile forming on his face, even if he’d try to deny it.

“One last thing, Han…” You murmur, climbing on top of him. Your fingers hooked at the base of his shorts, tugging at them slightly. “This… I need it off.” You move your hand to slide under his shirt, feeling every part of his abdomen, taking in every sensation under your fingertips. Tracing small circles on his skin and pressing against his stomach to feel his firm muscles which he had recently started gaining from his frequent workouts when he wasn’t working. His skin felt hot under your touch, igniting the fire that burned within him even more.

“Can’t you take it off…?” He mumbles, looking up at you with those pretty eyes of his.

“No, do it yourself. I love watching you strip.” You respond with a smug expression spreading across your face. He takes your words in for a moment before immediately taking off his shorts, raising his hips to slip them down to his feet before throwing it somewhere in the room. You stop to take in his body, noticing the wet spot on his boxers, making your body feel more desperate, not that you weren’t already wet to begin with.

You run your finger over his lap, stopping at where the wet spot is and pressing harder against there, to better feel the dampness.

“Can’t you pick up the pace a little….? “ Han groans in frustration, letting out a shaky breath as you continue to tease him with the wetness strained against his clothed cock.

“No, I don’t want to…” You hum, acting as if you had all of the time in the world, which only agonized him further. “Take off the shirt.”

Han listens to your commands, allowing you to boss him around as if he was your own personal fuck toy. He takes off his shirt in a swift motion, letting his right arm slide to his back and lift up, and strips off the layer of cloth. It was unfair really, you were still fully clothed, teasing him, playing with his arousal, while he was starting to turn into the vulnerable mess you loved.

“Ngh… Why do you keep teasing me?” He said with a small moan that escaped his lips, not even trying to hide his sounds.

“Because, I like hearing those sounds of yours, it's cute.” You say with a smile.

“What are you even going to do to me…?” He said, his voice coming out a lot more whiny than intended, full of curiosity for what you had in store for him. When you heard his whine, you smiled and then pulled down his boxers, closing any barriers from what you wanted, letting you stare at his cock before he looks away from you in embarrassment. His cock was glistening with pre-cum, flushed a delicate pink, pulsating with desperation for this teasing to end. The sight was beautiful– almost sinful– to see him this desperate beneath you.

“I'm going to play with this pretty cock of yours, then after I'm done teasing, I'll let you cum.” You instructed, running your fingers lightly along his length. After you said this, you got off from him and moved to kneel between your legs. “Sit up, please.” Han sat up and used the headboard of the bed to prompt himself up, watching your actions.

“Are you going to–”

“Yes, yes I am. Is that something you want?”

“Mhm! Just… just do it. Please.” He was so desperate for you that he almost moaned. He watched you, noticing the moment you leaned down more and were face to face with his cock. You slowly used your hands to grab it and guide it to your mouth, squeezing his cock upward towards his tip gently, making a generous bead of pre-cum escape. His tip was burning, he was so hard. After some admiration, you ran your tongue over his tip, addicted to the salty taste of him.

“Ngh… Y/N…” Han moans out your name. He was incredibly worked up. Taking note of how easily he moaned even to any slight action you did. Now you were wrapping your lips around the head, teasing the sensitive hole on his dick, making him moan with every lick and suck. You continued to control the pace, edging him. As you continue, you realize how wet you already were, your panties feeling soaked from your arousal. Your head moves in a steady rhythm, matching the heat pooling between your thighs, taking his hand and guiding it to your clit under your clothes.

His touch on your clit was good, the way his finger circled in a steady pace despite how your knees buckled under the overwhelming pleasure. So good that you didn't even notice him whining, begging you to get off his dick. Before long, you can feel him push against you as Before long, you can feel him push against you as he comes, filling your mouth with his warm seed. Once you finished swallowing his cum, licking up every drop he released, you sat up, You smirk at him, wiping whatever was left on your face, embarrassment filling his face.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to–” He says as panic comes from his voice, as he disobeyed what you ordered him not to do.

“No point of it now. But, don't you think you should be punished for this?” You ask teasingly. You take off your shirt and roll it up to be used as a rope using its long sleeves. You then take off your skirt and panties, tossing them across the room. “As a punishment, I'm going to use this to tie your pretty little hands up, alright?” He nods eagerly, his eyes filled with excitement at the thought of being dominated by you. You smirk, enjoying the power you have over him in that moment.

“I– Alright. If that’s what you want to do.” He says under his breath, trying to not act as excited as his reaction gave away. You take his hands in yours, kissing the back of his hands before tying his wrists together. The feeling of his soft hands makes you exhale with pleasure. He was unreal. Too perfect for your own sanity.

“Ji, since we're doing this. Just know, you can tell me to stop.” You reassure him, making sure that you could fit a finger into the makeshift handcuffs around his wrists to be sure it didn't cut off his circulation. When you take a look at him, you love the sight. He had his hands behind his back, unsurprisingly his dick was hard again, leaking pre-cum as it twitched from the cold breeze in the air. His hair was stuck to his forehead from sweat as he stared up at you, his expression being unreal. His face was flushed, his eyes needy before you looked down at his slightly parted lips, seeing the tip of his tongue making his pink lips wet and glossy before he bit down on his bottom lip. You couldn’t stop looking at the sight. He looked so pathetic.

After admiring the sight for a minute, you let yourself have some fun. Crawling up from the edge of the bed when you took a moment to stare at the man you put into submission to be face to face with him once again You line him up to your dripping entrance, hovering for a second before you finally sit down on him. You felt him filling you up, his girth stretching your walls, making you feel a sensation that you hadn’t felt in seemingly forever.

You let out a satisfied moan when you felt his length filling you up, not even stopping to check on Han who was equally satisfied with your pussy around his length. He let out a stifled moan, quickly biting his lip to stop him from letting out his moans any longer. Fuck, his moaning sounded amazing.

“Han, I told you to not moan, isn't that right?” You tease, looking down to see your pussy sinking down on his cock. What a beautiful sight.

“I'm sorry– I didn't mean to… it just slipped out. You feel so good…” He whined, closing his eyes as he felt you clench. “Did that excite you?”

“Maybe… But you know I can't help it. I feel your cock twitching inside me, Ji…” You mumble, a moan following after you felt his dick twitch again which made you grip onto him, digging your nails into his biceps as you clenched your eyes shut. When you re-opened your eyes, all you see was his chest, which gave you an idea. After a second of thought, you used your tongue to lick up his chest– tasting the sweat on his skin– before stopping at his nipple, you used you mouth to suck at, and gently nibble his nipple. His reaction to this came not from out of his mouth, but you felt it inside of your pussy as his cock was throbbing inside your walls. All of this felt too good. You started to move against him, grinding your clit against his pelvis. The friction against your clit making you moan against his chest. You look up at him, he was watching your movements, holding back his moans. “Han, you can moan now. I can't see you suffer like that any longer…”

He stopped biting his lip, immediately letting out a moan, and finally having the chance to release what he had been holding in all of this time. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck— Ngh~… You feel so good…” He whined, his voice made you clench. He sounded so desperate, for you, only for you.

“Ji– fuck…” You moaned out, your breath growing heavier as you continued to grind against him, now lifting your hips and bringing your body down onto him, riding him slowly. His dick felt so good, your moans were inevitable.

He was moaning with you, trying to grip onto something to steady himself a bit. You wanted him to touch you, but he wasn’t allowed to. You moved in to kiss him, forcing your tongue into his mouth. "Fuck,” he groaned against your lips. Your kiss was sloppy, wet, and good. Your tongue fighting his own for domination. His hips started to move against yours, chasing for more pleasure.

“Han,” you gasped, shocked by the fact that he could still move. You need him to touch you, you take his hands from behind him and then quickly untie him. He smirks as you untie him, almost immediately moving his hands to your waist without hesitation, holding you still as he thrust up into you. You moan from it, even if he didn't change the position, he dominated your insides. "Shit—Han, ngh, slow down..." You said in between moans. His movements only grew more intense, his breath hot against your neck as he whispered,

"I can't, Y/N. Not when you feel this good." You gripped onto him tighter, nails digging harder into his skin.

“I need to change positions. Please.” you whispered, trying to keep down your moans. He stopped and then moved you to be on your back, laying you against the bed before sliding out of you, making you whine slightly to no longer be full of his cock. Your pussy ached in anticipation, allowing him to manhandle you. He moved a pillow under your hips, then he started to touch himself, making sure he was slick with a combination of your juices.

He then kneeled below you, spreading your thighs apart with kisses, and moving his mouth closer to your mound. He started by giving your clit a kiss, licking the sensitive bud and trails his tongue across your labia. His tongue lapped across your folds, savoring the sweet taste of your pussy, taking in every part of you that you allowed him to have. You tangled your fingers in his hair, trying to steady yourself but accidentally doing the opposite since you can’t help yourself but to grind against his face. His tongue was so good. Eventually, he started to tease your hole. He entered the tip on his tongue inside you, inserting his fingers alongside his tongue.

“Fuck! Han… Please, please put them in.” Your desperation showed though, you needed him to make you cum. Once he heard the desperation in your voice, he stopped teasing. He almost instantly inserted his fingers inside you, moving his mouth to suck on your clit as he curled his fingers inside you, instantly hitting your g-spot and started to abuse it. He moves his fingers in an up and down motion, making you moan louder than usual. Quickly, the pressure started to build up, your eyes teared up, and drool started escaping the corners of your mouth. It was so good, he made you cum almost immediately, feeling every part of you build up and crescendo, leaving your pussy to pulsate from the sensation. You scream when you come, his name escaping your mouth along while you soaked his face and the sheets. That was easily the best orgasm of your life.

“Fuck, I didnt realize it was that good. I didn't expect you to squirt on me.” He chuckles as he lifts his head from your glistening pussy, licking your cum from the edges of his mouth and wiping away the rest. The smirk on his face was so hot.

“Han, please fuck me. I need to feel you inside me again, I need to feel your cum dripping from inside me when we're done.”

“Fuck, dont say it like that…” He grows, grabbing you by the wrist, flipping you as if you weighed nothing. “How did I not notice that you're this needy?”

“I've always been ready for it, you just didn't take advantage of it.” You say before spreading your legs, moving your hand down to your sensitive clit, rubbing it slowly. “Are you ready to use me now?” You knew that you looked like a total slut, he loved it. His gaze darkened as you spread yourself out for him, you were perfect. A brief second passes before he flips you over and got on top of you, kissing you intently before poked the tip of his tip inside you, almost as if he was begging for permission to fuck you hard. Of course you let him, I mean, who wouldn’t? From the moment of you saying yes, he starts. You were so wet that he just slid inside you with ease, pounding into you in a sloppy way at first, then finding his rhythm and giving it to you real good.

The pillow under your hips made everything better, allowing him to repeatedly hit your g-spot until you came. He gave you no time to recover as he continued, using your cream as a lubricant. Every thrust inside you felt more overwhelming the next, your abused g-spot getting more used each second. It hurt, but sex with pain was worth having. You grip onto him, your nails digging into his skin, his back getting scratched every time he slammed his pelvis against you. You were almost crying from how good it felt, the two previous orgasms he made you had made you much more sensitive than you should've been. “Fuck! Han, you feel amazing. Oh… you feel so good…” She moans, her breaths shaky, her words exasperated.

“I love it when you say my name like that… do it again.” He said as he continued to pound into you.

“Han…” You exhale, your voice was shaky from his thrusting.

“Fuck…” He moans, your voice was music to his ears. He loved your sounds, it made him go crazy. The rhythm continues, being steady, consistent, and perfect. Eventually, his voice became more ragged, he was gasping for air; a clear sign that he was getting close. He was painfully hard, you could feel the heat radiating from his body as he continued to chase after his own pleasure. His thrusts were turning sloppy, his tongue was completely relaxed against you as he continued to try and kiss you, but he was too focused on how close he was to cumming in you to care.

“Cum for me baby… please, I need to feel the tightness of your pussy when you cum. I’m so close…” He begs against your neck, his hot breath against your skin. His body glistens in sweat, it was so fucking hot, it only took one more thrust into your pussy to make you cum again.

As you came, you felt his seed spilling inside you. His warm cum made your mind fuzzy, your mind and body could only feel ecstasy at that moment. The sound of Han’s moans against your neck as he collapses on top of you made everything so much better. You had worn him out, you could tell. He was panting, but took the opportunity to lick the sweat off your shoulder. Everything was fuzzy, the room was still hot. Though, you eventually managed to refocus your vision, quickly wrapping your arms around your husband, completely satisfied for the first time in weeks.

Han didn’t last long after his orgasm, from the moment he collapsed on top of you and managed to regain his composure, you felt him falling asleep— not that you mind, it was just unexpected. Normally he would’ve had the energy to watch a movie with you after, but you both were exhausted. The room reeked of a mixture of sex and sweat, and you knew that his cum which was leaking from your pussy was making a mess. But you didn’t care, sleeping messy, sweaty, together after sex was the best, maybe even better than the sex itself.

[orangez3st]

The Sweetness of Slumber

Entry to @clonexocweek - 02.13.25: Intimacy | Event Masterlist

Can be read as a stand-alone | Read Dream Currents: [Tumblr] [AO3]

Summary: What happened during the 501st Umbaran campaign still haunts Rex even in his sleep. Waking up in the middle of a night, the nightmares chasing and biting at his ankles, the ocean deity Sho'cye provides all the comfort he needs. Tags & Warnings: hurt/comfort, post umbara, umbara angst, established friendship, childhood friends, romantic friendship, eepy rex, eepy sho'cye, platonic cuddles, oneshot au, separate from the bigger sho’cye-verse, references to dream currents (no spoilers) Pairing: Rex × Sho'cye (OFC Force Goddess) Word Count: 4.8k A/N: I'm so excited to include this one in the event! This has been going and up for a complete read in the links provided above if you're interested. Title is a part of one of the lines in Homer's Odyssey Book 23 when the hero had finally reunited with his wife Penelope.

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒅𝒊𝒎 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔

— All I Had Was You - Paul Moody, The Field Tapes, Kyle McEvoy [X]

Shot awake, Rex's breaths break out of his chest in harsh and broken rhythm. Drowsiness bleeds away – in its place now, consciousness that's slunk in. And dread. His heart is pounding inside his chest and out his ears, drops of sweat breaking in and sliding down from his hairline as glimpses of nightmarish images glaze over his eyes once more.

No. He shakes his head. The darkness of his HQ barrack quarters, save for the low-power blue light on his work desk bathing the entire room, isn't helping. He always prefers to sleep in the dark, but after Umbara, the dimness of his room does nothing but stoke the anxiousness within him. The horror of being aware that so many of his men died…

The heels of his hands dig into his eyes, desperate for the glimpses to vanish. He grunts.

Let's give it a few minutes.

He closes his eyes and settles into breathing exercise, his shoulders heaving with controlled, rhythmic inhales and exhales.

Coruscant and its artificial sea. Not even natural. Even the rain’s made up.

It's during times like this, where his nightmares of past campaigns awaken him in the middle of the night, he yearns for Sho'cye. The ocean goddess who was ever present in their night rests when they were merely cadets back in Kamino, one of the planets where she's most powerful. The one who watched over their rest, and by extension, their dreams. She would grant them peaceful sleep, banishing their nightmares away along with the fear that follows.

Now away from her water dominion, he's never felt this much longing. 

He lets out a big, sad sigh.

If only she'd be here.

Now that his once thundering heartbeat has settled to normal, he allows his eyes to open.

Only to see a long-haired figure sitting on the side of his bed.

An embarrassing noise escapes his lips as he jumps back in shock, only reviving the uncomfortably fast heart rate yet again. I didn't feel the bed dip, I swear I was hyper aware…

A chord of melodic giggles fill the small bubble, warmth and familiarity immediately welling up in his chest and his recognition of the voice is glorious.

“Sho'cye?!”

His eyes get used to the blue dimness of his room, and he can finally see her clearly. Luminous smile that always graces her lips either in wonder or welcome. Humble, as always, with her unbound and flowing midnight ocean hair and, and…

Is that… civvie shorts and oversized t-shirt? Like those natborns wear to bed?

Sho'cye grins up at him. “You look at me as if you've seen a ghost.”

Rex, of course, gets reminded by the small yet embarrassing yelp that came out of him and the fact that she watched on. His cheeks heat up, wishing he’s got his bucket on now. “Very funny.”

Always with her quirkiness. Never changed.

He understands. Sho'cye has always been alone in the wide galaxy and she needs company. So he’d been there by her sole power, meeting up in the tropical dream realm he dubbed the Coastline when he was still a cadet, and throughout his growth cycle until he said goodbye that day… because the war had started.

“But… that's also because you're not supposed to be here,” he states wonderingly, his voice coming out hoarse.

Coruscant has no natural body of water on its surface. Or rather, topside. There's nothing of sorts. Coruscant is out of touch by her power but… she's here. In his quarters, out of all places. When his sleep was disturbed by the nightmares, out of all people.

Sho'cye doesn't reply, instead getting to her feet and crossing the room in the direction of his water canteen sitting on his desk.

“Ah, I'll–”

“It's okay!” she chirps, making her way back now with his canteen in her grasp. She smiles. “Allow me, Rex.”

His heart wells at the gesture, still in disbelief that she's here right now!. It takes everything in him not to pull her into a hug again… the last one they shared – the first time as well – was before he departed from the Coastline for an unknown stretch of time. Because the war stretches on, too. It had been warm and left him smiling for days straight, the weight in his chest lighter with refueled confidence. Such is her power.

After taking a few gulps of his water, he places the canteen on his side table. He bites the inside of his lip hesitantly, the previous thought overtaking the space in his head. Sho'cye merely looks at him, patiently waiting for him to speak because she just knows, her eyes soft. Oh her eyes. I wish I could just… see those nice sea green colors. It's been a while.

He used to admire them. Getting lost in the spectrum. Still is. The blue in his markings is a beautiful color indeed, but they're no match to her colors. But at least, his blue is also the color of the ocean as a whole, the color that one could see from a faraway view, or maybe when they treat themselves to a view of Kamino from orbit. 

Sho'cye stands there, towering over him when he's only been sitting in his cot. The distinction only makes him realize, so wordlessly, he grabs her wrist and tugs her in so she can retake her place at the side of his cot. Plopping down in acceptance, a light laugh escapes her lips – the small atmosphere momentarily filled with bliss of the reunion.

Rex's chest warms again at the joyous sound, but he's got more questions that need answering, and Sho'cye knows that.

“I sensed your distress when you were sleeping,” she starts. Oddly, she feels a little closer than before… Her expression, concerned. “You called for me.”

He'd forgotten about the nightmare at this point, too indulged in her surprise presence, but it's her presence itself, isn't it? “I just…” Well, she's right, I practically did. “Was just wishing you were here to ease my disturbed sleep,” he says, his hand coming up to the spot in the back of his neck that suddenly needs rubbing.

She smiles, blue illuminating the silhouettes of her face. “Well, I am here now.”

But her being here must’ve taken too much of her power. She said herself that her hold of her dominion ceases greatly on a planet with very little natural water. Coruscant is surely no exception. Manifesting a physical body the similar way she had been in the Coastline… while it makes him realize just how much divine power she has, it equally makes him feel bad. Coming here… just for me?

“You don't have to do that,” he finds himself saying. Even if it's technically what he truly wants (he'd love nothing but her company), her making the journey to the existence plane just for him must've taken a lot. It makes him, quite tremendously, feel bad. “S’just a nightmare. Going back to sleep will fix it.”

She raises her eyebrows challengingly, “So you don't want me here?”

“No!” Why was I even saying that? And I said it poorly! “I-I mean that you didn't have to go that far just to comfort a single clone with a nightmare.”

“But you've been harboring all these to yourself for the past week,” she insists, placing a hand atop his. She lets out a breath, eyes deeply boring into him. “I'm worried about you, Rex.”

He looks down at their hands, stacked and resting on his thin mass-produced blanket. Warmth emanates from the simple gesture, healing the longing that has been deeply settling inside him all this time. The relief and comfort bursts out of his chest like beams of light, making him sigh with the belief that it's safe now, both of us in our own little bubble.

In the darkness of his quarters, he tries not to picture the landscape of eternal midnight of that forsaken planet tinged with purple and vermillion red, eerie with fallen soldiers and death and tragic misfortune. He grounds himself, tries to cling onto Sho'cye's hold. He squeezes her hand in his, his other hand scrubbing down his face and across his buzzed blond hair.

“Our most recent campaign was in Umbara.” Rex swallows, staring dead on to their joined hands – every blink of his eyes is tempting him to just enjoy the darkness to mull and grief once again. “There was a new general. He was well-known in our ranks with the highest casualty count. He was nonchalant about the clones, Sho'cye, and he's a traitor. Had a Separatist agenda of his own and used us to turn against each other, I made us slaughter our own men…”

The hour they reconvened with the 212th was the worst. Even Fives had offered to take over to explain everything to General Kenobi because he just couldn't when Cody turned his way. His men killed Cody's men. Lieutenant Waxer died in their hands – a painful death full of betrayal. The single tear that came from the late brother's eye had him to not break down right there, his heart wrenching and all he'd wanted was to throw up.

Cody looked at him. He couldn't. Thankfully Fives had been quite to the point, as the most disturbed man out of them all, that while General Kenobi had been struggling to swallow everything that happened with the 501st, Cody pulled him aside. No words were traded, he sternly kept his gaze to the floor as his brother led him out of the vicinity, dragged him into a closed space – only right there and then, he dared to look up at Cody.

And finally, he broke down. His tears were angry, his throat hurt from snarling down his wails, his shoulders heaving and his plastoid chestplate squeaking against Cody's. Cody tried his best to muffle his little brother's cry – his distraught little brother whom he'd just want to hide from the world at that moment – and thought better of the situation, but it was the only moment Rex had broken down openly and so gut wrenchingly that it drove quieter sobs out of the marshal commander, too.

“If only I wasn't so blind following orders,” Rex's voice is quieter now, almost a whisper. He sniffs and swallows the lump in his throat. “I can't get it out of my head.”

He tilts his head to look at Sho'cye, almost regretting doing so when he spots a single tear in the midst of its path down her fair cheek reflecting in the low light. The way his heart clenches at the sight… his movement doesn't waver when he gingerly wipes it away with the pad of his thumb.

“I felt your troubled hearts,” her hushed voice says gently, “What you felt ran deep in the Force, Rex, that even I could feel it. Your trouble, your apprehension, and your fear. And Pong Krell’s true intentions bled painfully into the Force as well.”

She knew. Of course she knew.

“I just wish you were here with us. Could've saved so much trouble to prevent incidents like this from happening.”

A harsh sigh through the nostrils, his stomach churns bitterly. “The Jedi failed us in Umbara with their decision to switch my general with that snake,” he gripes, fists clenching momentarily only to remember Sho'cye's hand in his. He sighs again instead, this time laced with exhausted irritation. “And Skywalker went along. He knew, we all knew about Krell, but he just couldn't…”

“I am with you. Always,” she says, taking both his hands in hers, “And you have the Jedi Order in my place.”

“Disobey orders?” Sho'cye finishes for him, her head tilting as if saying but neither could you.

Rex shakes his head. “If only I could do just that to save my men from unnecessary deaths.”

The Commander had been the one who noticed his deteriorating performance. Unfocused during one of the discussions in the war room. Sluggish walk. Too many filler words in a whole conversation. So unlike him, and he's struggling to keep top performance. The Togrutan padawan has always been a perceptive one. It ended up her pitching to her Master, and the other day the General comm’d him to come and see the mind healers at the Temple. Knowing Wolffe's severe PTSD due to Abregado has mostly been treated by seeing those Jedi mind healers, Rex is seriously considering it, as well.

Sho'cye reaches up, brushing her finger against his cheek– oh, that's a tear. I've been crying.

“You merely thought about what was best for the campaign at the moment. You were thorough and you were confident you'd go through, and you did. That is the value of being a soldier, is it not?”

Her voice is tender as she speaks, careful as if any louder than low mutter would break him. She reaches up again, this time with both hands, and cups his face gently. A shuddered breath falls off his lips. The warmth of her palms against his skin resounds so much comfort that he needs, the remnants of his longing radiating out into the compassionate touch.

Rex leans into it, giving in, relishing in all the warmth there is against his cold cheeks. Before he can stop it, he’s already scooting closer, so she wouldn't have to reach him too far and so he would've felt more warmth radiating off herself. And yet, in all turns of events, she's meeting him halfway too with a little scoot of her own and their thighs end up brushing against each other.

Determination burns, stoking yearning fire inside his chest, so he reaches up as well, cupping either side of her head and gently tugs her in to lean his forehead against hers – a show of affection he'd known all his life and done only with his brothers.

He can't see the pretty sea green colors inside those orbs in the dark. Sho'cye is bathed in blue, the source of the light sitting low-power on one of his desks, creating a humble image, yet divine still, with the color of her ocean. 

“Remember what I said?” she begins to whisper, their little bubble belonging to no one else but them in their closeness. “You're a good man, Rex. By heart, and by soul.” Her thumb caresses his cheekbone, showing her tender care and love. “Whatever you did… it's not your fault.”

There's a shuffle of movement. At the slightest shift that she makes, his body absently takes it as a cue and moves in – his head tilting to the side and burying his own face into her shoulder for just a moment to hide from the world, his arms wrapped and snug around her waist. The position is sideways and awkward at best, but it's when she shuffles again, quietly, slowly peeling his arms off just so that she can turn around, tucks her feet under her, and receiving him back into her arms. Rex pulls her in closer, arms returning to their rightful place around her waist as his person craves more of her warmth, her comforting words, and her familiar ichor scent as he breathes shudderingly into her collar bone.

Upon his quiet wavered exhale, Sho'cye's hand rubs up and down his back, the other is cradling the back of his head. Rex sighs contentedly, her fingers lazily running through his short hair, the comfort provided is simply unexplainable. All he can feel at that moment is that I'm safe now. She's here. I'm safe.

She wipes away tracks of dried sweat. Plucking at the back of his white t-shirt he wears to sleep to relieve his skin from the fabric that sticks so air can circulate back in. Her flowing hair, the color a shade of the ocean during midnight, forms a curtain around his head when she tilts her head down to place a kiss on the top of his head, his buzzed hair probably tickling her lips and chin but she doesn't care. And another, on the skin near his hairline – her compassion oozing with full force through the gesture. His hold on her tightens.

“When you die,” says Sho'cye quietly, her lips ghosting against his forehead, “Your essence will return to my waters. In this war, you take life, but when you die, you shall give life. You're in the sea, in the lake… in the rain. You'll have your place among the stars too, together resonating harmoniously in the Force, and the Force will sing and praise how tireless you warriors are. You fought for the peace of the galaxy, and you will relish and rejoice in the peaceful arms of death that you're finally at rest.”

Growing up acknowledging as an expendable soldier who would eventually die at war, the topic of a soldier's death is always unavoidable. But a warrior's death… after so many tireless fights. Fighting gives them life. The war. Something to live for. Something worth dying for. In the end, the peaceful rest must be a luxurious comfort. Being one with nature, with her, in the very waters that surrounds their home.

Sho'cye protects them in life. And even in death.

It brings so much comfort and safety to his heart.

“I wish you were a Jedi general or something,” Rex says hesitantly. He reels away from her shoulder, looking at her in the eyes, almost trying to convince her. “We need you here and close. Could've saved so much trouble. Could've changed the entire war itself.”

“A great idea, but who would watch over all of you?” A smile breaks out in her countenance, and further in fondness as she recalls, “Back then, Rex; every day I thought about these… lives, so many lives born into the world. There hadn't been many in Kamino, so I knew I had to see for myself.” A massive shift in the balance of the Force, it had been. “Then I saw you, bred for a purpose, your minds left alone and in constant unease of what's to come. Your fate earned my utmost attention. And love.”

The amber in his eyes glimmer with life, even in the dark, as a breathy chuckle falls off his lips. He smiles almost sheepishly, “I keep forgetting you can see the future.”

“It's not exactly fun,” she indulges him happily, “I have to weave my own threads to gain what I want.” She caresses down the side of his face. “And what I want is a better future.”

The topic of such a future is for another day. If they ever meet again. Even she isn't certain to do this again – manifesting a physical body onto the existence plane and drawing so much from the Force. It isn't draining in any way, but it takes most of her focus to be here.

Rex's pleads inside his mind had been loud. Cries that called out upon betrayal. Cries that blamed himself. She'd been wanting to be with him, to comfort him, but gathering her strength to cross planes took time. And now that she's here, she's glad to be welcomed with open arms and an open heart. To be close to him… to be able to embrace him, dearest and most cherished companion.

The way her heart always falters at his mournful tears, the way she'd want nothing else but good for his fate.

Rex's hand comes off her waist to stifle a yawn.

Warmth emanates in her chest at the simple sight. It reminds her of everything that's him. She grins. “It's been a long time since I've seen you yawn.”

One of his dark brows rise – the one thing she'd find as his quirk, no matter how many times he'd explained that it's normal to have different colors for eyebrows from hair. While she adores his blond head that he'd always like to keep as short as possible, one time Rex grinded so hard with his intense training that he hadn't the time to buzz it off – it had been a little curly at the top. As what they would say; she'd pay good credits to catch sight of that again.

“What, you like my yawn?”

“I think it's adorable,” she nods pleasantly, before going to tap the spot between his brows, “The way your eyebrows pinch in the middle, I think.”

With one hand still resting against his cheek, Shocye can feel the skin under growing a little warmer. His eyes dart to the side before meekly meet hers again. “I'll yawn more often, then?” 

She chuckles. “You wish so? I can take your consciousness out in mere seconds,” she teases back, half joking. “It's the things that make you human, Rex. It's what you are, after all. You're everything human.”

He smiles, eyes glimmering in the dark. “And you're everything not.”

Her fondness of him deepens. As it always has been, for years, since their first meeting that day and onward. It doesn't take long for her fondness to blossom into something more… something she dares not to venture. But she's a being of compassion, and compassion that's exaggerated incites desire. While it's not something unfavorable… a deity and a mortal is unheard of.

Perhaps with her own selfishness, Rex should be hers, and is already hers, yet obsessive love tips the scale of balance. Instead she lets her love run free, flowing with the course of nature and only reciprocating when there's a sign. Even if there is, another obstacle would be the nature itself – the Force, herself. There must be consequences for such things.

Rex begins to scoot away from her, settling to lie down again to catch up on lost time of rest.

But she won't leave him. Not again. At least not right away. The absence of natural water in Coruscant doubles her use of power – even the water in Rex's canteen is processed – but for Rex… for them, the clones… she needs to be here.

He watches her lifting his thin blanket, eyes blown wide, taken aback.  “W-what are you doing?”

Hesitance takes root inside her for even forgetting to ask. “Do you… mind?”

“I,” he weighs for a moment – a sad look and true confusion latching onto his bronze-toned face. “I don't know.”

Her face falls, yet tinged with understanding. She starts to move away, the words I don't wish to make you uncomfortable probably tickling her tongue to be let out because he knows her like that and he knows her long.

And I never feel like so, Rex wants to say sometimes. When I'm with you.

“It's just!” he says a little loud, a little panicked when she’s just getting to her feet. She plops back down, eyes blinking curiously prompting him to continue. “It's just gonna be a little tight.” His shoulders shrug not only to defuse his awkwardness, but to cover the growing heat on his cheeks, too. “And um, this is a one person cot… y'know.”

Sho'cye tilts her head, a cheeky smile makes her eyes glitter. “I think we can make it work.” She lifts the blanket again and slips her dainty legs in, her warm skin brushing against his red fatigues. “Scoot over, Captain.”

Rex is already doing that. “I told you not to call me that,” he chides playfully, but as he does that he gets into one of those rare moments where he falls off balance and unaware of his surroundings; an ow escapes him as his head bangs against durasteel. He swiftly formulates a plan out of instinct. “I hit the wall. Sideways.”

The goddess obliges, shifting to roll onto her side – one hand slipping under the pillow and her head, elbow brushing against his. A few unsuspecting seconds later, he rolls onto his back and fits snugly into the wider space.

He smirks smugly at the ceiling. “Thank you.”

Her melodic laughter fills his ears, a hand swatting at his shoulder and remains there. He can feel her fingers slightly gripping on his shirt. A glance to the side; the blue light illuminates her hair and he finally can see the blue of her tresses, and there's a wide gleeful smile gracing her fair face. “Since when did you even get so sly?”

A grin finally breaks out in his lips. “I’m a captain. I need to,” he says, reminiscing the times during shore leaves spent with, mainly, a handful of Torrent. “But probably since hanging with the boys a lot.”

Fives and Hardcase dart past his mind.

Sho'cye hums. “Do tell me more about them one day.”

“Of course.” But could she just find out herself– nevermind she's playing human right now.

Comfortable silence envelops over them like a second fuzzy blanket. Rex wonders if it's because of her mere presence, or an extra smidge of her power. Either way, he's fulfilled, the heavier weight on his heart has been lifted. With her quite literally next to him, an unspoken promise of a good night's sleep greets him with a smile and open arms.

He turns again under the blanket, this time lying on his belly so he can turn his head sideways to face her, arms pinned down to his sides. Sharing one pillow to lay their heads, he's aware their faces are inches away from each other's. Even breathing through her nostrils, air grazes his nose and cheeks softly. He wishes they could've done a sleepover like this back in his cadet days. Probably under a tree with that red rug and throw pillows, with a bonfire of her conjuration, the Coastline skies dark with stars glittering in the blank ethereal canvas.

Her eyes bore into his, blinking.

But those days have passed. Sho'cye being physically here – this could be one and only time happening.

How he wishes post-campaign exhaustion can stretch for a bit longer.

“I wish there'd been a body of water in our Umbara campaign,” Rex mumbles lowly, lips brushing against the pillow beneath him. His gaze meets Sho'cye's in mourning, the glassy look in her eyes reflecting the feeling likewise. Wish you were there. “Could've saved us so much.”

“Me too,” she whispers, nuzzling against the pillow like he does. She casts her gaze down, as if regretfully. Rex takes her hand and squeezes it. When she looks at him, once again he wishes he can look at sea green pools instead – how he misses them, and their dreamy landscape, the Coastline. Squeezing back, Sho'cye quietly admits, “Being unable to closely watch all over you unsettles me.”

Rex hums in acknowledgement and understanding. The burden must be heavy to look after and care for them, and equally is for not being able to. As after all these years, even her admissions and smallest gestures touch his heart. A deity choosing us clones, protecting us, over any other.

Stepping over the boundary of their intimacy, Rex tries not to meet her gaze, his movement half sheepish and half daring as he drapes an arm over her waist to pull her closer to his body. Without a breath of complaint, the goddess indulges him, even twisting her body so she lies on her back and snakes an arm under his neck.

“Sorry,” he breathes into her shirt, settling his cheek against her shoulder comfortably and his body against hers. Even clothed with a civvie t-shirt (the notion remains funny and adorable to him), unlike the last time they embraced she had adorned a sundress, she feels warm against him, and always does.

“Don't be,” she murmurs above him, “I like this, too.”

His cheeks and the warmth in his chest burn brighter, the fond statement only making him bury his face further into her neck.

A hand comes up to caress his short buzz, back and forth… his eyelids grow heavier and heavier… the repetitive movement lulling him to surrender to sleep at last.

Rex uses the last couple of ounces to stay awake and make sure, “You still gonna be here when I wake up?”

“No.” She nuzzles her nose into his hairline, still sounding very much awake – protective, oozing with care, making sure he’s asleep first before she follows. “As much as I'd love to.”

He hums.

His breathing steadies. There's a warm hand – hers – on his arm, adding another gesture of protectiveness to everything; half her body under his, snug and fit in his cot, his arm around her and is clinging onto her t-shirt, and her other hand stroking his hair.

He wishes it could be just like this, instead of… everything happening out there in whatever part of the galaxy.

His consciousness is slipping away.

And before he succumbs to the sweetness of slumber, he hears Sho'cye whispers to his hair,

“Sleep well, my sweet sea blossom.” Warm soft lips, tenderly, upon his forehead. “The nightmares are no more.”

Taglist (Form): @yoursrosie @hellfiresky @filamentlights @heidnspeak

[optimisticgrey]

Not tonight

masterlist | requests? | ao3| kink encyclopedia |

summary: You and Halsin are the last ones awake at the Elfsong Tavern and your mind drifts back to another time, where Halsin loved and trusted you.

author's note: I had a shit day at work and saw this post by @transkingcobra which got me thinking. So I had to write about it. This is a Spin Off of Echoes of the Thread, where a Tav remembers their previous runs (think honor mode)

content warning: Deep longing. Smut implied. Submissive Halsin implied.

word count: 1k

AO3 Link

You rest on one of the couches as the others slowly disperse for the night. One by one, doors close, Karlach’s wonderfully booming laughter echoing through the room until the last door swings shut.

It makes you smile as you turn your head.

Halsin is the only one left.

He finishes his pipe, carefully emptying the contents into the fire.

It’s the pipe you always grab for him in the Emerald Grove.

Ever since you first learned where he keeps it, you’ve made a habit of tucking it away in your pack until you can free him from the goblin dungeon.

Every time.

And every time, he’s charmed and just a little flustered when you hand it back.

“You need rest,” Halsin observes.

You look up, realizing your gaze had drifted to his hands, watching as he cleans the pipe with a small rag.

You know how those hands feel.

And gods, you miss them more than words can fathom.

His eyes study you closely, moving over your face with quiet intensity.

Those eyes.

Heterochromatic. The outer grey ring that shrinks as the day brightens, the warm hazel spreading like sunlight.

You remember waking up to them, nearly silver in the morning light, twinkling with mischief and love as his hand found your hip, your cheek, drawing you in for the first, intimate kiss of the day.

“I know,” you sigh, sinking deeper into the cushions, closing your eyes.

You can’t look at him without longing.

Without nearly breaking apart.

It’s hard enough during the day, but tonight… tonight, it’s unbearable.

“There’s so much to do,” you murmur, trying to keep your voice light. “We’ll be up and running again come morning.”

But the ache in your chest doesn’t lessen.

You crave him.

You always have.

And you know he would never decline if you reached for him.

He never has.

But that is not what you need tonight.

Tonight, you need the Halsin who trusts you.

The one you lost last time.

The one you failed.

The memory is a wound that has not stopped to bleed.

You have failed all of them, more times than you dare or allow yourself to count but Halsin’s last death still haunts you.

Orin had slain everyone, left their bodies scattered around you.

You had screamed yourself hoarse, fighting with every ounce of strength against the spell that held you in place.

You had begged her, cursed her, offered your own life in his place.

Anything, anything, anything just to spare him.

But she only smiled as she drove the dagger into his heart.

And you had watched, powerless, screaming and crying as the light left his eyes.

The love of your life.

The Halsin who trusted you. Deeply and wholeheartedly.

With his life, his heart but also his worst fears.

The one who let you hold him through his nightmares when the world crumbled around him, when for a few precious hours in the safety of your arms, he no longer had to pretend to be strong.

When he shed not only his armour but his masks as well.

When it all became too much.

When his past caught up to him, and he surrendered, offering himself into your care.

When he knew, and trusted, that you would hold him, carry him through the storm.

It was a rare gift.

He does not give his vulnerability freely.

“There is always work to be done,” he says, his voice low and measured, though his gaze lingers on you with quiet concern. “But even the strongest trees must rest, must drink deep of stillness to stand tall. We could all use a respite—if only for a day or two.”

You smile weakly.

You knew he would say this before the words left his lips.

You knew he would support your wish for rest.

He always does.

Your mind drifts to your last night together.

The night before you lost him.

He had trusted you so deeply, he had submitted to you.

Allowed you to bind him to the bed post and lustfully torture him for hours.

Until he was able to turn his mind off.

Until he was able to let go.

Until he begged you to allow him to find release.

But you have kept riding him, teasing him, never finishing him.

Allowing yourself to come over and over again, your lips pressed to his ear, whispering words of praise, love and lust that made him squirm.

You had pressed your body against his trembling lips, guiding his touch, allowing him to kiss only where you permitted.

When you finally let him find release, he cried.

Shuddering with relief, his sweat-slicked body trembling so violently that the bedpost gave way, bringing the canopy down with it.

You had managed to cast a quick shield, catching veils and wood splinters before they could touch you. And he had laughed, deep and wholehearted, pulling you into his arms.

One of the best memories you were allowed to keep.

You open your eyes and look at him now.

The sight of him clenches around your heart like a fist, all the memories you try to cherish in quiet, lonely hours, rushing back all at once.

You remember what his hands feel like.

How they feel, simply holding yours.

Drawing you closer into a hug.

Trailing soft circles on your hip bones.

How his lips taste.

The way they tremble in the moment before meeting yours.

What his gentle, quiet voice, the one he only allows to show when you were intimate, did to your mind, heart and loins.

You miss him more than words can hold, and you usually think yourself quite eloquent.

But not tonight.

Tonight, this Halsin is your friend and he watches you with quiet concern.

“Good night, Halsin,” you murmur as you stand, retreating to bed alone.

[starrystevie]

18+ | modern office steddie au | cw: public sex, undernegotiated kinks, unsafe sex | crossposted to ao3 here

eddie doesn't do it often. okay, maybe that's a stretch. frequently might be a better word for it, more accurate. but he wouldn't say he does it everyday or anything. it's just a little break from the day, an escape from the monotony of corporate america.

he's only been in this new tech support job for a few months but he's already comfortable enough that working on his next novel at his desk doesn't give him anxiety anymore. he isn't afraid someone is looking over his shoulder all the time like he did when he first started with the company.

the thing is, eddie's good at tech. he's good at finding the problems, finding even better solutions. half the time all he's doing is updating and restarting people's equipment that hasn't been refreshed in years. so he finds himself with enough free time at his desk to work on the second installment of his fantasy novel when the problems seem to be at a low.

as he waits for his laptop to boot up, eddie cracks his knuckles and grabs his phone to send a text to his editor that may or may not also happen to be his best friend so he could cut back on over exuberant editing fees. he doesn't read the message over, just fires out a text to nancy quickly before pocketing his phone.

he only realizes the typo once he gets a laughing emoji in return and cackles at what he actually sent.

"getting ready to write some smut on the cock!!!!!"

it doesn't take long to send a winky face before correcting himself to say " on the clock obviously", before pocketing his phone and opening the document where his novel is. just as eddie is about to start typing, a voice behind him makes him jump out of his skin.

"what was so funny?" steve asks, arm propped on the top of his flimsy cubicle wall, legs crossed over one another, smirk on his face.

eddie forces himself not to swoon. he takes in the way his white button up stretches across his chest, dress pants oh so snug over his thighs, hair pushed back in the way that only steve harrington could pull off. he may have only been at the office for a few months, but ever since he first saw him, steve very quickly became the only thing eddie could think about.

"i'm sure you wouldn't find it funny," he starts, tilting his laptop screen halfway shut so steve can't catch him doing his other job, his favorite job, while at work.

steve smirks again, his cheek lifting enough to crinkle his eye. "try me, munson."

with a dramatic push, eddie rolls in his wheely chair and stands up so he can keep his voice low. "i sent my editor a dirty text on accident."

if steve's surprised, he doesn't show it.

"editor, hmm? for what?" his voice is as low as eddie's and it makes the cubicle feel even smaller than it is. like everything in the world has zeroed in on their whispers to each other.

"i might be writing a book. well, technically i've already written a book. this is just the sequel."

steve's eyes flick from eddie to his laptop and then back once more. "is it anything i'd know?"

he cackles again, picturing steve reading his smutty fantasy novel, eyebrows furrowed as he tries to make any sense out of the haphazard world map eddie drew for the back page. but then again, he could easily picture steve in the world he made. he'd be a prince- no, scratch that, an elven prince- just like the one he's writing about in this one.

"i do read, you know. i'm not entirely up to date with everything but i do like books." steve says it like he's almost hurt and it makes eddie look back up at him, mellowing out his wide grin into a softer smile.

"oh, i wasn't doubting that. i just doubt you read elf porn in your free time."

whatever hurt was lacing through steve's face is gone, replaced with wide eyes and eyebrows to his hairline and a bright smile pulling at his cheeks.

"yeah," he says a little breathless, "yeah, definitely not the first thing i'd reach for."

eddie gives him a told-you-so head nod and brings a hand up to run through his hair, tracking steve's eyes as he follows the motion for a moment. having his eyes on him rushes through eddie like a wave crashing and he's halfway tempted to do it again if he didn't think it would look forced.

"well you probably don't know mine then."

as he turns to go back to his chair, he hears steve cough to get his attention back, arms crossed over his chest to make his shirt pull taut over his beautiful, gorgeous, annoyingly perfect biceps. "so what was the dirty text?"

"well, it was actually a typo," eddie starts, cocking his head to the side with a smirk as he pulls out his phone, "so an unintentional dirty text. but still funny, none the less. and i don't think i can say it out loud without getting hr called on my ass so-"

he holds up his phone so steve can see the brief conversation between him and nancy, watches his eyebrows shoot back up to his hairline, watches as his mouth drops open for a millisecond before giving eddie another goddamn smirk. steve leans back, drops his arms to put a hand on his hip, and looks eddie less than subtly up and down.

"so... do you want to?"

eddie can feel the moment his heart stutters in his chest. a combination of steve's general... steveness plus the implication of what the text said and his mind travels to a dirty, dirty, not meant for work place until he pieces it somewhat together and asks-

"...are you asking if i'm gay?"

steve huffs out a laugh and takes a step further into eddie's cubicle. there already isn't much room and with him coming in the tiniest bit closer, their toes are almost touching.

"sure," he says like it's the easiest thing to say on a thursday afternoon. "it can be a two-part question if you want."

a few things run through eddie's head all at the same time:

steve's close enough that he can feel the heat radiating off of the arm he now has resting on his desk, and he's really about to come out to a coworker which he normally leaves for at least 6 months into a new job, and that he thinks he's going to pass out if steve is actually asking what he thinks he's asking.

do you want to write smut while you're on my cock?

he doesn't know where he finds the courage, honestly. call it a slow thursday, call it a little extra motivation for his novel. eddie scoots closer and throws caution to the wind.

"then yes to both."

he's never seen steve's office. he's been to the top floors before when some higher up needed him to install a web browser on his new desktop so he has kind of an idea of what the private offices look like.

eddie didn't expect the first time that he got to see steve's office would be spread out, bent over his desk with his novel pulled up on his laptop while steve runs his hands over his ass.

"here's how this is going to work," steve whispers close to his ear while he lays against his back, snaking a hand up to undo the knot of eddie's messy tie, popping open a button on his dress shirt in the process. "you stop writing, i stop fucking you."

with a hum, eddie presses his hips back, up on his tiptoes with his off brand dress shoes pinching his feet tightly. "i think i can manage that."

"i'm not finished," he bites gently at eddie's ear lobe, returning his hands to palm over his ass cheeks. "everything i do to you, and i mean everything, needs to be written down. turn me into a character or something, i don't care, but i expect you to be thorough."

he doesn't mean to moan at the instructions, really he doesn't, but it's so easy to picture steve morphing into a character in his world. his mind races trying to figure out how exactly to write him into the scene that had already started, but with a snap of his fingers as the idea clicks, he writes out a quick line and looks at steve over his shoulder for approval.

"who's sylvar?" steve asks, pronunciation clunky on his tongue.

"sylvar is an elven prince, might as well make you him. besides, you both have an s name."

steve chuckles, his breath ruffling eddie's hair. "okay, fair. prince, huh?"

he doesn't have to look over his shoulder again to know that steve's smirking so he rolls his eyes and finishes the sentence, only breaking away to gasp as steve brings his hand between his thighs to spread them further apart.

"i'm gonna take a wild guess and say that elidyr is supposed to be you?"

eddie nods and pulls his tie off the rest of the way. "let's see, he's one of the prince's newest attendants, known for being a bit out of control, gets chastised for staring at the prince's ass in his khakis too much-"

"you're making that one up, huh?"

he tosses his tie to the side and brings a hand up to tangle in steve's hair, pulling his lips down to his neck and waiting for him to get the hint and start kissing. "steve, i'm making all of it up. that's the way writing a book goes."

"is that so?" he murmurs playfully against his neck, teeth pressing against the skin as he smiles, hands yanking on his hips to get eddie flush against his cock. "...i don't see you writing."

eddie huffs and shakes his head before writing out quickly how sylvar grabbed elidyr by the hips roughly to show him how excited he was. steve takes the typing as the go ahead and quickly undoes both of their pants before running his hands up eddie's now bare thighs.

he didn't really have any idea of how well he'd be able to hold out to steve's ministrations while having to write them out at the same time, but any confidence he had in himself leaves when steve's palm cups his cock through his briefs. eddie cants his hips forward and brings his hand back up to tangle once more in steve's hair.

and just like that, the touch is gone.

"oh, come on!" eddie whines and brings his hands back to the keyboard, typing in random filler words until suddenly he has no underwear and hands pulling his ass cheeks apart.

"gonna fucking take you apart... shit," steve whispers and eddie doesn't think he was supposed to hear it, but he writes it into the scene anyway.

there's a cool dribble of what must be lube on his hole and he fights against the shiver it sends up his spine. "you have lube in your office?"

"no, i have lube in my briefcase. big difference."

eddie doesn't really see how to the two are different, but he laughs to appease steve before getting cut short as a finger starts to enter him. he must whine, must jerk or do something wrong because it's leaving almost as soon as it had arrived.

"steve, i swear to god," eddie groans, head dropping down as he types without looking. poor nancy is going to have a hell of time reading and editing over this draft.

they both sigh when the finger presses into him once more and steve weaves his other hand into eddie's hair to pull him up and look at his screen. "there you go, just keep typing. write about how good it feels."

and shit. that's hotter than he expected it to be.

it goes well for all of a few minutes, eddie typing and steve reading over his shoulder, scissoring his fingers to get him nice and wet and open. they both somehow manage to keep their composure, filthy words being muttered out loud that then end up on the screen.

it's after steve gets him cock in him that it all goes down hill.

"oh fuck-" eddie moans as his leg gets hoisted up for a better angle. steve's grip on his hip is brutal, bound to be leaving bruises, as he pulls eddie back to meet him in the middle.

his chest is rubbing against the pleather desk cover, nipples catching on just the right side of painful when steve pushes his shirt up and out of the way. his dick is flopping against his thigh with every thrust, the lack of friction driving him insane.

he swears he only takes his hands away from the laptop for a second but then steve's pulling out quickly, dropping his leg and getting eddie off balance. he whines like he's throwing a temper tantrum before bringing his fingers back up to type more nonsense, gasping when steve slides back in like no time has passed.

"read it," he huffs next to his ear, "tell me how perfect you make fucking me sound."

"oh my god," eddie croaks, eyes rolling back as steve lets go of his hip once more to pull his head upright. "sylvar fucks wi-without abandon, hitting every right spot possible inside elidyr, the heat of his h-heavy cock punishing him making him mad with lust."

"good, yeah that's good. like when i fuck you hard?" steve grunts out before pistoning his hips even faster, eddie's moans bouncing off the bare office walls. "tell me more, keep going baby."

"the grip he uses to hold onto elidyr's hair is the only thing keeping him upright. this is all he could want, tending to the prince's every desire, being whatever the prince wants him to be." eddie expects it when the fingers in his hair curl even tighter, his back bowing against the desk with the pressure, but he still keens loudly at the pull.

steve chuckles roughly, like he's barely holding on himself, hips stuttering before evening out. "is that what you want?"

"wha-" eddie murmurs, not trusting his voice much more than that, his brain turning into mush. "is what what i want?"

"want to tend to my desires, want to be for me to use however i please?"

and the thing is, realistically, eddie knows this whole thing is weird, blending his two worlds together in a way he's never done before, but it doesn't stop him from forgoing the rules and bringing a hand down to work over his cock. "god, don't stop. please, please, please..."

steve must be tired of the game, too, because he doesn't even attempt to quit what they're doing to punish eddie as he stops writing. he barely has time to appreciate that the game is finally over because the hand in his hair slides around to rest gently around eddie's throat, pulling him up so his back is to steve's chest, every thrust punching out another gasping breath.

"answer the question," he says, punctuating each word with a snap of his hips. "gonna let me use you how i want?"

eddie has died and gone to heaven and the cause of death is a mixture of steve's tongue, hands, and cock. his mind wanders to what else they could do together, what else he'd let steve do, what else he wants steve to do. he sends up a quick thank you to whoever is listening that he saw the job posting for this company so he could be here in this moment with a possible sex god in his midst.

the hand that he had braced on the desk for support makes its way up to cover steve's on his throat, a barely there pressure combined with his quick fingers on his cock that sends him over the edge.

he breathes out a "yes" as he shoots come across the stop of steve's desk and see stars dancing in his eyes. steve fucks him through it, whispers filth of what he wants to do to eddie right into his ear, and when he comes back to himself, he digs his nails in the top of steve's hand.

"want it, want you, however you want me-" he chokes out.

and when steve finally comes inside of him, eddie makes sure he bends back down with his cock still pounding into him to write some line about how nice elidyr thinks it feels to filled up from someone who probably shouldn't be giving him the time of day. he tries not to find parallels as steve kisses up the back of his neck as he rocks his hips for the final time.

eddie's bare ass is in a mixture of their come as they maneuver him around to let him sit up and wrap his legs around steve's hips, pulling their spent cocks together while they lazily make out. steve's hands dance softly over his bare thighs, eddie threads his fingers through steve's hair.

"how does it end?" steve whispers against his lips.

"i don't know yet," eddie says truthfully, his mind wandering as kisses start to trail down his jawline. "how do you want it to end?"

"i don't suppose they have bars in this elf world, do they? one where they can go on an actual date to before going back to the palace or whatever to ravage each other?"

eddie grins, tipping his head back to catch steve's lips one more time in a slow kiss. "i can arrange for them to go to the tavern. i think they'd both like that."

the next morning, slightly hungover and draped over each other in steve's way too large bed, eddie ignores a text from nancy asking why the names change halfway through the draft and wondering who the fuck steve is. eddie silences his phone and goes back to sleep, so glad that he didn't double check his first message yesterday for typos.

[septimusmoonlight]

You doing ok?

hi

[sb-essebi]

Relief | Dreamling | 9.7k | Explicit | Complete

No Archive Warnings Apply | Tags: #Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot #Mutual Pining #Getting Together #Friends to Lovers #First Kiss #First Time #Dreams #Dream Sex #Throne Sex #Service Top Dream of the Endless | Morpheus #Authority Kink #a healthy dose of oral fixation #Dream of the Endless | Morpheus has PTSD #Dream of the Endless | Morpheus doesn't want to take off his clothes #Clothed Sex #Ass to Mouth #<I thought I’d warn for that just to be safe but they ARE in the dreaming so it’s really nbd

Summary:

But worst of all was the way Dream sat, trousers tight as ever making his thighs look powerful and taut with muscle, the perfect V his legs made drawing such attention to Dream’s crotch that Hob could not help but stare, the beautifully evident bulge there making Hob long to kneel at Dream’s feet and be allowed to unzip and unbutton Dream’s trousers, to slowly unwrap him like a present until he could take Dream’s prick in hand, and feel the heft of him, and wrap his lips around him and put his tongue to every inch of him and taste him to his heart’s content— “What bold dreams you have, Hob Gadling.”

A dreamling throne sex fic inspired by Dream looking gorgeous in the teaser trailer that dropped in May.

Read on AO3

[crossbackpoke-check]

tagged by ko @tofumilanesa for wip wednesday! big shout out to writevember for making me feel like i can actually call any of these works in progress… your guide to my emoji code under the cut

wip!

🪻🐈‍⬛ - the doc title is still just. YOWLING but i am like 7/8 of the way done with omega yamo fic and hopefully salem isn’t reading this so i can just drop it over a year later with no warning <3

🫃2️⃣ - DEWEY^2 P2!!!! she is almost done (i am lying) but she is so close i can almost taste it. sorry to my pwp that grew its own feelings baby

😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜) - rip i’m not telling you about this one until it’s posted but it IS complete aside from being ao3 formatted and the eight billion edits i inevitably do right before full-sending it

☁️💧 - cloud petey fic, which exists mostly as an embarrassingly large tag on a different blog and is condensing into a narrative about as well as water at 30° N/S. the time loop fic also falls under this description

eternally in progress (short list)

🌑🐕 - tyler borzoituzzi exists… there is an index of scenes/plot points… it plays like a movie in my head…

💯❕- fantastic! ‘verse

👁️👻 - stevie brandon seeing ghosts au, which has eight different (now nine i guess but you haven't seen the mustache adam post yet) plots. sorry

just. rotating like a microwave

🍎 - because they didn’t have a pomegranate emoji, this is what i used for the fic that feels like it should be a 50k connor bedard character study hanif abdurraqib/cathal kelly thesis about legends and mythmaking in sports and eating your young. yes i know pomegranates aren’t actually pomes and apples are but it’s fine

🦈 - the one cat da fuck they doing over there meme but about the sharks just like. in general. more on this at five

tagging @colap1nto, @songsandswords, @whitenikes, @gordiemeow, @acheronist, and anybody else who wants to share!!

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

guys i need to be dancing at a house party tipsy with someone im attracted to so bad btw. ive never been to a house party in real life (though id quite like to at least once) but i really have been desperately needing that specific (probably awful for me) sensory and social environment so bad lately

[dinosaursmate]

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