#HES JUST A WEIRD SMALL OLD GUY AND YOU DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIS LIFE. THAT'S THE POINTTTT
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mwagneto · 2 years ago
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i stay FAR away from the new poirot movies because i'm normal but did thEY SERIOUSLY WRITE A TRAGIC BACKSTORY FOR HIS FUCKING. MOUSTACHE ARE YOU SERIOUS💀💀💀💀💀💀 the mcuification of film is the death of art etc etc etc
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lov-eable · 2 years ago
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TELL ME  ֗ ˖ ࣪ ᩠ ༉‧₊˚ ✿ #00
━━ a filmmaker decides to follow and document the lives of the worst and best students at your school for a month, unfortunately, those students are you and chishiya, the most annoying guy on earth.
masterlist ◌*ꕤ
word count ✦ 541
A/N: wasn’t supposed to publish this today but i got excited wjsnjesjwbj, all the enemies to lovers fics with chishiya are about academic rivals and we girlies who dont do well in school need rep!! im sorry about any grammar mistakes <3
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03/24/17 15:27, previous records
Everyone gathered around except for two students who were quite sure about their grades, you and Chishiya. An outsider would expect both of you to have a streak of perfect scores by how calmly you were waiting, and that might have been Chishiya’s case but not yours, especially not yours. You just knew your rank was the worst, your name plastered in the last place. You were nervous deep inside even though it wasn’t a shock to you or your parents. 
It had been like this your entire high school. You were the worst student in school and your parents never cared about it. Sure, they would argue with you sometimes, maybe ask why you couldn't show the same interest in your textbooks while you were reading, but they didn't need you to have adequate performance at school. They already had your older sister, Mira, an outstanding student who most assuredly would make herself and her family a name out there. You were the funny little sister who had the opportunity to fuck up whenever she liked to.
“It seems our scores are not so different from before” his insufferable voice was heard next to you, making you assume his comment was directed towards you. How could you forget about Chishiya? The smartest yet most annoying man you have ever met. He could maintain his greatest grades throughout his whole life. However, he lacked any social skills or maybe he didn’t want people around him, you weren’t so sure about it.
His exceptional GPA gave him this weird and irritating sense of superiority, always speaking down to others or straight up ignoring them when they asked for something. Still, he was pretty much surrounded by people all the time, girls chased him around hoping to get his number with little to no results and guys hung with him even if he wasn’t a big fan of them. Damn it, even some of your closest friends, such as Arisu and Kuina hung out with him and would often try to get you to like him, it wouldn’t happen though, there wasn’t anything you disliked more than a condescending jerk. 
“What? The cat got your tongue?” the most unbearable smirk had appeared on his face and you were just about to lose it, you simply couldn’t stand him and felt the need to punch him. But you didn’t, you usually acted on your instincts but this one time, it could get you in trouble. He eyed you with a smile-like grin on his face as you stood in front of the ranks and conducted yourself away from the group of students. 
The bell had already rung some minutes ago and you were now completely free, at least for 10 days or so. The fearful rays of springtime sunlight greeted your face as you walked away from the school. The screams of your friends asking you to wait for them became more and more distant, but you needed to get home as soon as possible to get your post-school nap, and knowing them, they would delay that journey. The soft breeze gave a peaceful atmosphere, walking through your old small town, the tree branches, who were witnesses of your childhood and now teenagehood, laughed seeing you so naive before the future semester.
tag list: @surshica @enslique @httpsimmy
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burnedwriter · 2 years ago
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how they are in a relationship pt1
A/n:this is pt1 out of 2,it might take me awhile for pt2 since im working on a alfred x hunter!reader and the choir x hunter!reader,if you want to see specific characters for pt 2 dont hesitate to interact with this post!
warning:smut starts at the second half,Fluff,mention of rough sex,Overstimulation,Edging,Teasing,dirty talking,mention of biting and choking,mention of typical violence on alfred’s part,!gender-neutral reader.
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laurence
hes sweet yet secretive,i feel like he will keep the whole beast situation a secret since he doesnt want to get his s/o involved in this mess,until you find him crying  while writing in his notes and confesses everything to you.
hes not a major fan of pda outdoors but mostly indoors,when the two of you are together outdoors he will have a hand wrapped around your waist,showing in a subtle way who you belong to and stop any unwanted advances.
laurence writes romantic poems about you and how beautiful you are and sending them as gifts,you have gathered so many you had to store them in a chest.
ludwig
the best out of everyone on this list probably.hes an absolute sweetheart,a gentle giant,that has sworn to protect you at all cost.It was the promise he made to you the day you officially became a couple.
He loves showing you affetion no mattter where you two are.He will always give you a kiss before he leaves just in case he doesnt come back just so you know he always loved you even in death,ludwig’s kisses range from forehead to him kissing your hand gently.
Before the severe beast outbreak you too would go late night horse backriding,to blow some steam off of your everyday struggles,you would rest your head on his back while you wrap your arms around his shoulder into a hug while you chat making the moment even more intimate.
micolash
library dates?talking about kos to the wee hours the answer is yes
hes not the type to take you out on romantic dates since he has no social skills without making himself look weird,his ideal date is studying in the library or just you keeping him company while he does his reasearch.
i feel like he would leave flowers as bookmarks,like one day you will open your book and see a small flower sticking out from the top and with a micolash taking small glimpses at you to see how you reacted.
hes super clingy and he will be on you like a leech,have fun trying to get him off of you.
simon
hes not completly extroverted so it took him a long time to approach you and tell you that he likes you.
really romantic and cheesy,he is the type of guy who will try to suprise you with flowers but ultimatly failing as the flowers are visible from behind his back but also says cheesy jokes to you that are horrendously bad.
leaves you in the dark about what hes doing since he doesnt want you to become a target like he is.Also most people dont even know that he has an s/o.
djura
one qualification that his s/o must have is to be nice and take care of the beasts just like he does.Thats how you two met,seeing you pass from old yharnam,he was ready to shoot you with his gatling gun when he realized you werent killing them.
Finally reaching the tower and starting a peaceful conversation with him,he decided to recruite you to his little team and after that the both of you started to get close as you spend many nights on the tower.
unlike his tough appearance you got to learn that djura is actually sweet and very caring towards his partner,he is not afraid to show you affection no matter where he is.
brador
Hes very overprotective over his s/o and doesnt want them to get involved with anything that might force him to kill you.
just like simon nobody actually knows that brador has an s/o, as a matter of fact nobody actually knows anything about brador’s private life unlike other church members lives.
He might not show you affection at first or any vulnurebility almost like hes testing you to see if you are up to something.The same goes for public too but after trusting you he will become puddy in your hands something that you are only able to see.
Alfred
Alfred radietes golden retriever energy and  will treat you like royalty.hes also very romantic giving you flowers and little gifts when he comes back home
he loves showing affection to his s/o no matter where he is! his bear hugs are the best.
he also has sworn his s/o but unlike ludwig,Alfred has the knight in shining armor complex and will kill anyone that has caused any harm to his s/o and come back like nothing happened but his smiley always gives it away.
nsfw
laurence
laurence is dominant in the bedroom,i see him as more of a pleasure dom than anything else,putting your pleasure over his,guiding you with a commanding yet calm voice,making them reach their climax.
hes quite the dirty talker but only when necessery, using it to add to the pleasure of his partner.
He loves overstimulation,seeing your face with seer pleasure as you beg him for more always brings a smile to his face.
ludwig
ludwig is a gentle dom,he will take things slow, he will never be rough to you unless you ask him to.
a body worshipper,he will kiss every inch of your body and shower you with compliments and tell you how well you are doing.
Not very fond of dirty talk unlike the other people on this list,he prefers complimenting you more since he doesnt like degrading his partner.
Micolash
Hes a switch but  a buttom most of the times.he likes getting commanded around or you giving him instruction of what you want him or where to touch you
Expect a lot of experimentation and trying out new ‘’things’’,basicly a freak as someone would describe him.
he will implement dirty talk to his teasing just to see how your body reacts and to push your buttons to be rougher with him. He practicly tolerates anything in the book:biting,choking him etc.
simon
hes a switch but mostly a dom.hes more into gentle sex than anything else.
just like micolash he loves teasing you but not to the point that willl piss you off.
he loves overstimulation but with a twist.....he will edge you over and over again as his whispers the dirtiest things in your ear before he overstimulates you to the point where your whole body is shaking and his words are circling around your foggy mind.
Djura
it’s not unusual for him and you to have outdoors sex on the tower late at night.
Djura is switch ,i believe after so much commanding he wants someone else to take control.
Overall pretty vanilla and kinda hesitant to try new things but eventually warm up to it after a lot of convicing
Brador
hes a dom but unlike the others hes rough with you showing you no remorse until all of yarhnam will hear you scream his name.
hes also one that wants to try new things and spice things up in the bedroom and with that being said....
he enjoys some outdoors sex pulling you into an alleyway,seeing you struggle and trying your best to keep quiet so the both of you dont get caught while he chuckles in your ear at your struggle,he likes the thrill of almost being caught,kinky bastard.
Alfred
Alfred is a switch ,if hes buttoming,hes a power buttom and in that case he like placing his strong hands on your hips while you ride him.
Also someone who will worship your body and cover your body in kisses but unlike ludwig he enjoys dirty talk and seeing how you react to it.
he wants to hear you moan ,it’s like music to his ears as he says adding to his already inflated ego
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werebutch · 9 months ago
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WSBH chara q’s: (you don’t have to answer all the numbers, just whatever you want to 𖢘)
16/35/51 for Scotch
1/6/55 for Atlas
I LOVE YOU
16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?
okay i truly think scotch argues with seraph in his head all the time. ALL the time. scotch largely ignores them, and vice versa, because he dislikes them and they know it. seraph is very conflict avoidant lol, and as long as hes not a "threat" they dont care to talk to him about their problems. he probably argues with atlas and jacob (his older brother) too, atlas about more stupid small stuff, and jacob about childhood and life stuff :p
im trying to think of more general groups he would argue with but i cant come up with anything BAHAH. hes not exactly conflict avoidant in the annoying libra way that seraph is, he more just ignores conflict for his friends’ (mostly atlas’) sake. idk if that makes sense LOL
35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?
hmmm.. smallest? i mean scotch strings eloise along for most of the time pre timeskip. its not a main focus but its definitely important in order to understand scotch as a whole. she and scotch go out for a while, and mid way through that he realizes hes GAY gay. lol. and obviously lying to her about that is pretty questionable after a while. especially since he and atlas have been 👉👌 like the whole time. but she kind of knows. well
something a little bigger would be him encouraging or otherwise turning a blind eye to all the weird stuff atlas is up to. he doesn't know what it's like to be a werewolf, he can't say anything, right? lol.... murder is okay if its a talking dog doing it. scotch enabler supreme. actually when seraph is introduced, he and atlas have a 'joke' (kind of starts being real) about luring seraph somewhere to kill them. obviously doesnt happen and gets abandoned. but i think its important to know about their dynamic LOL
51. What’s a phrase they say a lot?
this guy is kind of goofy. i cant think of phrases rn but he has a specific way of speaking.. you could watch pretty much any old pop punk band interview and kind of get the idea. HAHAH
1. What’s the lie your character says most often?
atlas is a big fan of saying 'its fine' for all situations ever. family in mortal danger? its fine. completely splitting? its fine. arthritis excruciating? its fine. hes one of those people that dont like to deal with the fawning of others unless hes feeling real special. Ends up putting people in more danger a lot of the time. i think eloise is the only fan of communication in this friend group to be honest. i should have made her the main character
he tends to make promises he cant keep as well, but thats more general..
6. What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?
i have NO idea. i feel like atlas would be a music snob, so maybe his favorite 'super underground' bands. otherwise he'd probably never recommend raw human meat to another human (no matter how much scotch asks -__-).. (he would chicken out anyway)
55. What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?
um. so atlas hates working out. he especially hates running, you know, the thing that wolves are known for doing a lot of? unfortunately the lycanthropy came with a side effect of pretty bad arthritis, so that doesnt exactly encourage him. he DOES exercise, a lot since hes pretty much required for his ermm "side job", but he hates it 😸 besides the arthritis it’s mostly because I think it’s silly that he hates it. yay
#ummm a lot of what i talk about with my ocs are the character relationships but thats why i write. i like gossip. its fun. LMFAO#im actually having trouble deciding whether i want atlas to be a killer or not. like regularly killing i mean. hes definitely killed SOMEON#im really inspired by ginger snaps and scream. i dont even like scream that much but it reminds me of how they are. lol#scotch and atlas are pretty different but theres two things i see as themes. they both hate communication (and that causes conflict; so mor#avoiding). and the fact that scotch lives vicariously through atlas. atlas is doing#what scotch thinks is interesting. for pretty much the entire time; scotch likes to beg atlas to turn him. i think scotch sees the lack of#control he has over his life and sees lycanthropy as power. arguably thats why scotch is so attracted to atlas. lol#idk. thats not canon. im just thinking out loud here.#and yk it is power but not freedom. atlas would much rather just be a regular wolf. hunting and shit. but hes got these damn people here lo#but he sees what his life is like being a lycanthrope and hes kinda like. no. im not bringing that onto you. you dont know what youre askin#YOU KNOW? its goofy. i know. but its fun. LOL#if you (a general audience you but it can be you too grins) want to talk about scotch's confusion about his attraction to eloise we'd be#here all day. i think scotch is an egg. i dont know. i truly think theres some vicarious living (again) through her femininity.#and el is trans so he doesnt see her femininity as unattainable to him. you know? i hope that makes sense lol and im kind of projecting on#to him wif dat. to be honest. but obviously in the other direction. BWAHAH#asks#eucyon#thank u for da ask jesse this is so fun ^__^ and exciting that someone remembers their names HAH#after all this talking in the tags what I meant to say is that scotch and atlas both have sick intentions. it’s just that scotch doesn’t#act on them. and atlas does. so. living vicariously. ok
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the-greasers-angel · 1 year ago
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“ your hair is so soft ”
Tonight you were not where you were supposed to be, you were supposed to be at home in your room with your boyfriend sodapop even though he wasn't supposed to be there laying in your bed with him laying on your chest as the two of you fell asleep but no. You were at buck’s taking a couple drinks and dancing in the crowd at a party.
You knew it was wrong to not tell soda that you werent gonna be at home and going to a party but you had a reason why you didn't, Earlier in the day you were working in the dx with Steve when an old friend of yours came in with a car that had broken down and needed to be worked on so you being not only a worker there but this person's friend you decided to take it. The job wasn't a hard one, just something that needed to be replaced and an oil change. It didn't take long and it was a slow day today so after you were done you and him decided to catch up on life and other things.
Steve was inside talking with soda while you were catching up with your friend and he had mentioned how it looked like he was trying to flirt with you. It took a minute but soda looked over at the two of you laughing and even though he didn't mind you hanging out with friends he was making you laugh that rubbed him the wrong way so sodapop walked out there to the two of you and tried to join the conversation.
You had not introduced soda as your boyfriend yet to him so a few minutes later your friend started to flirt with you in the playful way that he always has. “ Hey bud you need to knock it off ” Soda had said as he looked at him with a weird look “ Soda it's alright he always does this its fine, he's just my friend “ you said to him.
“Uh huh i've heard that before” he mumbled under his breath “ excuse me. Whats that supposed to mean?” you said looking up at him crossing your arms.
“ Let me guess your seein this dude?” he said looking at you with some hurt in his eyes `` No i'm not soda, He's just my friend. ” you say as he rolls his eyes “ yea right just like sandy “ he said as he started to walk off. You were about to follow him to tell him off that you werent like her but you decided to just let him be, giving your friend the keys to the car as he paid and left. You packed your stuff and left without sayin goodbye to either of them and walked out towards the bar.
Once you got there you walked up to the tabletop and sat down in one of the chairs putting your head down on the table. “ What's up? ’’ buck asked as he grabbed you a bottle from the small fridge on the bottom. “Nothin” you said as you grabbed the bottle that was being handed to you. “ You know your a horrible liar ” he said looking at you grabbing a rag and started to clean his side of the counter. You just sighed a little as you started to tell him what happened “ Well that aint your fault so stop actin like it is.” he said looking at you
You stayed there for about 3 hours talking to buck, drinking,dancing,and smoking. Upon going back to your seat from earlier and a new bartender being there a guy sat next to you making conversation. He grabbed onto your arm a little as you pulled it away, he kept trying to get you to go somewhere with him as thankfully tim sheppard showed up “ Aye let em go “ tim said as he started to argue with the guy seated next to you. A little while after the two of them arguing tim ends up punching the guy out of his seat grabbing you by the arm and dragging you out of there and puts a helmet on you getting on his motorcycle and safely driving you to the curtis house.
He walked you to the door and opened it as you almost fell on your way in laughing to yourself “ Y/n are you alright?” tim asked looking at you. “ fine ” you said as you looked over at soda who was looking at you a little worried but didnt say anything “But you. You dont get to accuse me of cheating and walk out. “ You said in a angry tone as you walked over in front of him. Soda was about to say something but you covered his mouth with your hand “ I aint like sandy ok so you need to get that through your head. I aint gonna cheat on you and i aint gonna leave you.” you said more in a sad way as you could feel like you were about to cry. And thankfully you said that soda removed your hand from his mouth and hugged you close, nodding a little with a smile.
Sodapop picked you up as he carried you to his from and got come comfy clothes for you helping you change into them as you then laid on his chest as he played with your hair until the two of you fell asleep.
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barbietoiles · 8 months ago
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Well if it was swimming with a raft "nager avec un radeau" is totally correct, just not that common mdrrrrr
Yeah our words are weird like who decided that a banana would be "UNE banane"??? My take is that you just learn the pronouns of the words by living your life and earring people talk about these words, but there is no logic to just guess if it's "un" or "une" 😭
In school students often laugh saying that to guess a Spanish word, you have to take a French one and add "o" or "a" at the end (so students often make up words if they don't know the translation lmao)
But for us it's also much more difficult than in English for the gender neutral pronoun ; since in English everything is genderless, you can say "they are tired"
In French, you would say,
for a masculine pronoun : il est fatigué
for a feminine pronoun : elle est fatiguée
so for a gender neutral pronoun : iel est fatigué.e
it's called "inclusive writing"! As you can guess old people and far-right ppl are totally against, saying it's denaturing our language and bla bla bla but in fact, my teachers use it a lot in email to address a big group of students and include everyone like " à tous les étudiant.e.s". Bc we have a dumb rule that we learn in primary school that "masculine win over feminine" (le masculin l'emporte sur le féminin) meaning that if you have 10 girls and only 1 guy, you still have to say "ils" in plural. So with that it's easier to include everyone in written form !
And yep I never really watch multigaming before twitch tbh, there are only two men that can makes me watch league of legend, and they are etoiles and kameto (I don't understand a single thing 🫠)
(The space invader does look better on pc, he even has small codes to help him jump!)
-👾
No logic to it.... i see i see.... you live and you learn.... pain. I must listen to etoiles and baghera well!
The "take a french word and make it spanish" is hilarious and also quite cute kkkk. Its like my sister, who makes english words by saying latvian words in an english accent. And ALSO!! I KNEW IT i mentioned to an irl friend that im learning french and that learning spanish beforehand helped a lot because theyre similar and they said "french and spanish are nowhere near similar". SUCK IT BABY, i know what im talking about!!
The inclusive language looks a bit silly with the full stop lol but i think its clever. -é.e. i can choose to be é or e or . , very nice kkkkk. But yeah, old folks will complain about anything, the pissiness of latvian folks when a "no gender" bathroom is mentioned can be UNREAL (though usualy all the angry people are on the internet loll). Cant imagine how it would be if we tried doing inclusive language lol. (Or maybe we could just do a "oh its like russians ono dont worry about it" reasoning lol)
The "male over female" is a whole rule??? Oh my D: its usual to have the masc form be kind of considered "default", but thats crazy..... We use the "viņ(š)(a)" writing very often in emails and documents, its not considered progressive at all because its what we were always using pretty much? But the masc word always comes first. And ive noticed a phenomenon of masc even being considered "gender neutral", because to kind of neutrally address someone you COULD address them in the plural form, but problem is we also have gendered plural lol. So usually the masc one is used to kind of make the person "gender neutral". Its hard....
Theres going to be league of legends? Oh no... one friend played it all the time and it looks so boring ;u;..... well, its etoiles i dont care if game is boring i can get distracted by his shitty facecam mdr
(Also, im using mdr now, its so fun. Saying it out loud is good "r" practice kkkkk)
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kharmii · 7 months ago
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small apology here, my rant about fakers, fauxtism and all that.
Gotta admit that I have stopped BNHA a few years ago. Not because I thought it was bad. I still like the world building and characters and how a lot of the Quirks reflect the personalities from everyone, I just didn't fully vibe with the direction the series took when it shifted away a little to hard from the academy life and all that. But gotta agree on Todoroki on all the points you've made. And I reach out to you in sympathy to you. Considering everything you've likely been through you have become incredibly strong, even if a little rough around the edges but honestly considering how things online are it's no wonder... I really admire you for being headstrong and being above so much stuff. And from your examples I also see that it's also from others being "others" causing more harm than good.
I have my own catalogue of examples of others having caused my depressions and anxieties (on top of many other things) and sometimes my attempts to step out of situations were outright ignored or dismissed. Too often others CAUSE people to react certain ways. And it really is just insulting when I see people see medical conditions as an aesthetic or a quirky personality trait or worse a free pass to be an asshole towards others "you can't be mad at me cause of my autism I dont know any better" bs
either way just wanting to know I really appreciated you talking about yourself and Todoroki and if anything it made me appreciate you even more.
Thanks for this! Tell me if I'm wrong because I like to play armchair shrink, (and it's totally projection) but is some of the resentment over fakers/fauxtism because they make it look fun and easy? -Like look at me! I'm (neurodivergent/mentally ill) and am having this great time expressing my quirkiness and individuality! I'm expressing my asshattery in a sassy and quirky way that will by no means create a fallout worse than the condition itself! People find me interesting after all!
Meanwhile, suffering from the abuse survivor's form of the 'tism, I've got the thousand-yard stare of that person not allowed to be quirky a day in my life. The slightest bit of weird behavior immediately got smacked down, and sometimes I'd be going about my normal business and get attacked out of nowhere wondering what I did this time. Then I get labeled as being cold and soul-less, like wait...are you saying that I'm not allowed to express my individuality in any way, but when I get that much closer to achieving 'perfection', then I'm accused of not having a personality at all? There has to be some sort of middle ground that every human being on earth is allowed except me.
Then there's the old 'Why don't you (x) like other (x)?' from Stalker Guy that couple times when we were still good. It was never anything having to do with a personality, more like yet another person trying to play puppeteer molding me into an ideal.
I just got into BNHA in January and had to limit myself to 3-4 episodes a day so I didn't binge burn through them. The X-Men fan in me loved the idea of a society of complex mutants, even with a greater suspension of disbelief. The "Hellish Todorokis" were a draw. At first, Shoto was such a 'blah' character, but then there's the first good abuse analogy where he wouldn't use his fire side because he didn't want to be like the dad he was pissed at. Ironically, some of his personality might be from abuse, but some of his stoicism and coldness might be because he actually takes after Endeavor. That's part of why Endeavor could never have hoped to become #1 or breed a future #1. Maybe he didn't understand that the sensitive warm-hearted All Might was the symbol of peace because he was one-part superpowers and one-part good public relation skills. :-P
The Endeavor redemption arc was good, even though the fandom got worked up about it. Come on now, it's okay for people to apologize and feel regret for the terrible things they did (how refreshing of a concept), and it's not like his family was like 'all is forgiven; let's pretend like it never happened'. They were still angry and hurting but willing to work toward a better relationship going forward. That's realistic and reasonable.
Every so often, I'll think to google if Dabi is still alive, but I shouldn't hold out hope. -Or maybe one could see it like...if he has to live his life blind and missing an arm, he's better off deceased.
As much as I loved Todoroki drama, it was the Meta Liberation Army that really grabbed me. What a waste of potential they all were! Maybe kids might be bored with them and happy they were one-shot villains, but as an adult, I loved the politician who used 'incite' to get the useful idiots going, or the goofball CEO doubling as a secret cult leader, or the skulking creepy hacker in charge of intel. Then there's my Himura ship I'm not advertising as incest because, even if I couldn't care less either way if it was or not, I'm sick of the foaming at the mouth crazies getting worked up about it. A person could be trying their absolute hardest to write a decent story in good faith, and the antis will glom onto the stupid kink and make it 100% defined by it.
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gt-blendergod · 1 year ago
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The Ward
Arc 2 Ch. 1
Part 6
<<<Prev | Next>>>
This story includes mentions of previous trauma and convoluted really really confusing lore that I’m pretty sure only I fully understand. Even though most of it is wholesome and lightheaded, viewer discretion advised, art and storyafter cut off!
Arlo was possibly one of the happiest beings alive most of the time. He was a ray of sunshine for everyone in his life, despite his powers insinuating the opposite. When he and his mama had gotten their upgrades, he realized how fancy and high society most of the gods presented themselves as. So he followed suit. He’d gotten himself a cape and top hat to look fancy. His moms thought it was really cute. Little did they know, his outfit was inspired by a REAL magician he’d watched a long time ago. He always wanted to be like him, and now he was!
And he wasn’t the best speaker. He was young, sure, but old enough to be able to talk normal one would think. This wasn’t the case. He didn’t talk most of his life. The situation with his mothers was.. too much. In fact, the first time he’d even met Vi (in her tall form), he was scared speechless, refusing to talk to anyone for days. This lack if communication caused any words he tried to say to come out wrong, so nobody ever listened… nobody ever could.
Except the little human with the big bunny ears.
During the trial, Arlo was extremely upset as he immediately recognized the murder victim as the man who inspired a lot of his style. He was also upset to find that his inspiration was actually a horrible person who did experiments on children. What a role model. Once the trial was over, Arlo’s moms seemed insistent on going to meet the scary faceless man and the little human. Arlo was also interested. He took one look at them and could tell they needed a friend. He didn’t interact with them that day. In fact, he never even got to see them while the three adults talked. All that changed though when The Playdate was scheduled. Arlo had mixed feelings about it, but was excited anyways. It would take place at ßoß’s house… apartment.. condo..? Thing. And it would just be the ward and arlo having fun while the adults discussed… god stuff.
The minute arlo walked into the room, the small human froze in place, their ears pinning down to the sides of their head as they stared up at Arlo, which surprised him because he didn’t *think* he was scary. He was nothing compsred to ßoß or Vi. No, this was something else. They were clearly paralyzed with fear but got a closer look at Arlo’s face and relaxed.
Arlo approached the ward, staring down at them. To think he himself used to be that *small?* It was weird just thinking about it. As he got closer, the ward backed away more until they were cornered on the wall. They pulled on their ears. Arlo was worried, confused, and upset about this.
“Whats.. did i.. wrong?” He tried to ask what was wrong, or if he did something wrong, but it came out wrong as usual.
They suddenly stopped tugging on their ears. They looked up at Arlo “You.. dont sound like you. You’re not Magician?”
Arlo then realized that they’d mistaken him for their… deceased guardian and was scared that he had come to… Arlo didn’t know, make them eat carrots or something?
He shook his head no in response and got down onto his knees.
“Sorry if you.. think .. not a bad guy!”
“Its ok.. i just thought… the hat.”
“Oh. This thing?”
*Arlo took off hid top hat and lowered it beside the ward. This must have freaked them out though because they flinched. Arlo didn’t exactly understand. He stood up omce again, feeling embarrassed for possibly scaring the Ward. His momma, Elise, peeked her head through the door to the room they were in.*
“Hows it going in here sugar. You two need anything? Oh! Arlo you took your hat off, if i knew you were gonna do that i would have brushed your hair earlier!”
“Sorry.”
*she shrugged*
“Well you two seem to be having fun, so keep it up i guess.”
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(Ps. If you want more and sooner, get Ward lore posts in real time on the Beanstalks and Buttons discord! I’m not a mod there or anything, but it’s where I write and make my content!)
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funkfuck · 1 year ago
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I hope this addition is not too annoying, but i agree with everything you said except that the majima saga is a masterpiece.
Now dont get me wrong I loved it too, i loved the new characters, i loved that majima finally returned to sotenbori, i loved the kashiwagi content we got i love that man and of course i loved that i got to play as majima again (man i wish i could play dead souls) my favorite part was how these 3 chapters, to me, served more of as an exploration of how majima learnt to move past and accept what had happened in 1988, how he realized that despite all the pain and suffering, good things did happen to him in sotenbori too, how he saw how makoto remembers these events as something worth remembering and that it’s part of her and made her the person she is today, how even though she suffered so much in this city, she still came back to live here because of her good memories with him. It was kind of like going through his own zetsubouchou pride moment about learning yeah life is shit but that made me who i am today so you can all suck it. it was an amazing closure to the whole majima/makoto story imo i wouldnt have it any other way.
However the majima saga is… kind of messy. I feel like the story couldve been only slightly longer, couldve explored some of its moments a little better but at the end of the day i know this is just a small side story so i cant expect much of it. Still, sometimes the endings of each chapter shocked me a little, like i was sitting there just like “wait. This is it? Thats the end of this chapter?”
How limited it is annoys me so much but, once again, i know its just a small sideplot so i cant really expect more. I didnt want a full fledged combat system for majima like it was yakuza 0 but it just felt like i was taking the mad dog out for a walk in the park on a leash but the mad dog was just like a pissed off chihuahua. The fact that street enemies were just casually strewn around the city instead of moving like in the main story was a little annoying because its not like theres much to do in this side game im just trying to get to my next objective and these guys are in the way and wont budge unless i pummel them. (I know weird complaint to have with a fighting game but its not like the combat was that fun) The eating system was just Bad what do you mean i cant eat more i need to heal idgaf if majima is full already. But thats not really that serious of a gripe.
One issue that i know is not with the game but because of the innate nature of prequels is that the characters introduced in the majima saga were so FUN i loved ibuchi and uematsu was so cool i wanted more of them but obviously because it takes place before the main story they cant just be retconned back in, they had to die. Burying them in the graveyard of characters who wouldve been SO COOL if we got to see them in more games, right next to nishitani and the dojima lieutenants.
My biggest issue is… the entire majima saga is kind of unnecessary. We already had a good explanation for why majima left the tojo, terada didnt care about the old guard guys so majima got bored and left. (And majima construction is just a totally majima thing to do and its not like the majima saga gave insight as to why his plan b if this yakuza thing didnt work out was to start building shit. If anything the goromi date did that) its really just fanservice, rgg studios realizing after yakuza 0 that people fucking love majima and so they need to do more with majima. (which is not a bad thing!!! I love majima everywhere i love the majima saga i think theyre all fun)
Thats one observation i had with this game, that i felt like a lot of the side content hinges on that you have played 0 and get all these references and callbacks. I dont know how grounded in reality that is because its been a while since i finished kiwami 2 but i remember i did feel like that while playing, that it was just Look!!! You remember this thing from 0!!! You loved this in 0!!!! 0 was a good game so now this game is good too!!!!! I didnt complete majima construction but i assume theres lots of references in there, cabaret club grand prix was just a slightly worse rehash of cabaret club czar with WAY worse hostess training segments, sometimes they were a genuine slog to sit through (and i mean they even copied the one of the hostesses gets kidnapped thing from the ccc plot line!! Like cmon guys you really couldnt think of any other reason koyuki might not be available rn have her visit family or something)
The whole majima saga exists just to have that one scene with majima and makoto for the sake of a yakuza 0 reference and more majima content to appease the fans, the among us ass murder mystery story (which is a story type we all get so familiar with in yakuza 3 for better or for worse) was enjoyable sure i liked ibuchi but it was barely held together by some scotch tape at points. The ending fucks supremely though i have zero problems about that.
Im SO SORRY idk why im rambling so much about something that was so insignificant in the original reply i totally derailed this post im so sorry still i hope my thoughts and ideas are comprehensible
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so this was a tag i just got on the TO WHOM⁉️⁉️ response to the rgg summit proposal reveals post and im literally obsessed with it i've been talking to myself about it for the entire like hour since i saw it. they really do just fucking make awful decisions sometimes and we all know this. basically like every single game there's at least one Oh My God Why Did You Do That catastrophic choice made by the writers. they really are flopping all the time. i love these games but man no you're so right why are they like that
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poppy-metal · 4 years ago
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Demure
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Wc: 4k
Pairing: eren jaeger x reader
Cw: car sex, fingering, emphasis on reader being innocent and a virgin. reader is armins little sister. corruption kink
you're 6 years old when you first meet eren jaeger. apparently he'd run off some people that were bullying you big brother, armin. you admire him and mikasa immediately.
you're 8 and he's 11 when you get a scrape on your knee from playing tag. eren runs into your mothers bathroom to fish out the first aid-kit, you know he just doesn't want you to tattle, you never would anyway, but he pulls out a pink band-aid with little ariels all over it and places it gently over the cut. he stays there for a few beats, soothing the skin around the hurt area with his thumbs. his big bright green eyes look up at you, "better?" and that's the first time your heart skips for a boy.
you're 11 and he's 14 when armin starts becoming protective. "he's had like. 5 girlfriends in middle school, who knows what he's gonna be like in high-school"
it intrigue you, for some reason.
you're 13 and he's 16 when he taps furiously on your window at night, wild eyed and wearing a t-shirt and sweats. he falls ungracefully on his ass when you let him in, though he grins at you from the floor. "thanks, squirt"
you wince at the nickname, knowing it solidifies you as someone only platonic to him. armins little sister and nothing more. "what's this all about?"
he gets up and swipes imaginary dust off his sweats, looking around your room. its absurdly girly. he picks up one of your plushies and tosses it up, then catches it, peering over at you and grinning. "i hope you never change," he sighs and flops down onto your pink sheets. "girls my age are fucking psychos"
you creep closer to him, snatching your plush back. "im sure there's something you're leaving out there. im not completely dumb, you know"
he waves his hand, "yeah but you're....i don't know? innocent or whatever. you don't care about shit like boys and drama"
i do care about boys, you think, watching the way his shirt rides up to expose a hint of tan skin. you look away, squeezing your plush to your chest. "im gonna grow up eventually, ren"
he sighs and sits up, looking at you from under his ridiculously cute floppy brown hair. "Just promise me you won't go boy crazy"
you roll your eyes and sit down next to him, he leans in and licks a broad stripe against your cheek with his tongue, grinning "we have cooties"
you swat at him and wipe your cheek, groaning and calling him gross. "i know that. you and armin never let me forget how gross boys are", you side eye him. "what did you even do? really?"
he looks to the side, only now having it in him to look the least bit sheepish, "my girlfriend may have caught me with my hand down historias skirt..."
"EREN JAEGER!!!"
yeah, boys really are gross. but not eren, no he's beautiful and magical and makes you feel all the fluttery things. but he's also a player, a bad boy, dangerous and completely off limits. maybe your crush should have ended there, but of course it didn't.
You're 15 when you go on your first date with a boy. until now you haven’t allowed yourself to even think about men outside of the enigma that is eren jaeger, but that’s a lost cause, a stupid crush you need to let go of. and despite what eren thinks, you’re not that innocent. not in your head anyway. you’re a girl and you have fantasies. 
the guy is nice, armin likes him enough. big and tall and humble, reiner brought you flowers for your first date. the age difference is a little weird, he’s in erens grade, a senior, but you think its harmless. you’re turning 16 soon. the date goes well, you smile and giggle alot, and reiner seems smitten by the end of it. he even goes as far as to kiss your hand when he drops you back off at home, at 8pm sharp, just like he promised. he was kind and sweet, and you liked him, but you wonder what it means that there were no flutters in your belly, not like when you’re around him…
you’re still thinking about that when you open the door, and walk inside. the house is quiet, and you wonder where armin is, and eren. thinking they both must be in armins room, you go to the kitchen to get a glass of water, stopping on your path there when you see eren on the couch. he’s lounging back, hand idly wrapped around a gaming controller as he watches you.
you glance around him. “where’s mimmin?”
he doesn’t take his eyes off you. “annie called”, he leans forward a little, propping his chin in his palm as he observes you quietly for a moment.
you squirm in place, his eyes are too hot. “oh” and you make to start moving again but his voice stops you. 
“so. braun, huh?” his tone is hard to discern, the words coming out cool and detached, but his eyes are that intense green. 
“yeah” you say, shifting on your feet. “he was nice. kissed my hand and everything”
“sounds like a dream” and that is definitely said sarcastically. you bristle but eren is already turning away from you, facing the TV. “didn’t think he was your type though” 
because erens been your type since forever, you guess he’s right. reiner couldn’t be more different in both personality and looks, but maybe that’s a good thing. “maybe he can be” you say softly, looking at your feet. you dont see erens eyebrows jump, or his lips twist disdainfully. 
“If you wanna settle for missionary the rest of your life, then sure, go ahead” he sounds a little miffed and that confuses you. makes you look up. you don’t even know reiner that well, but you feel the need to defend him from erens usual snarky jabs. 
“not every guy that doesn’t live on Xbox and fuck half the school is a bland guy” you huff. you feel a little guilty for calling him out but he started it. eren hated preps, that was obvious, but its not like he was a model person either, if his long track record of promiscuity was anything to go by. reiner wasnt boring he just…..wasn’t eren. but that wasn’t a flaw. It shouldn’t be. 
“you been keeping tabs on me, princess?” eren asks wryly, smirking now. you just glare at him, quirking a brow and daring him to prove you wrong, to say he’s better. 
he doesn’t. he just looks at you, sets his controller down and does that tick he’d developed since he was young of jiggling his knee, tapping his finger on it. “don’t go on more dates with him” 
you squint your eyes, “and why not?”
“because i said so” 
“you’re not my boss” 
“because..” he scratches the stubble on his jaw, gaze looking far off as he stares at his bouncing leg. “guys shouldn't touch you” 
your mouth pops open. you get that, right now, you’re too young for stuff like sex, but being touched? everyone your age had boyfriends, why should you be any different?
It feels a bit like deja vu when you tell him, “m’not staying innocent forever. dating and s-sex are apart of life. you do it, why shouldn’t i?” 
you didn’t really get his whole overprotective bit, armin, who was your brother, wasn’t even this bad. he’d seen happy almost, when you told him about your date with reiner, even, so you really don’t see where eren is coming from. 
erens lip curls in a smirk and he points a finger at you. “that’s why” he says. “you can’t even say the word sex without stuttering. what’ll you do when you see a cock for the first time?” 
your skin heats, hating that he’s right. “I’ll grow out of it” you promise him. 
he huffs a laugh. “sure thing, dork” but then his face gets serious. “you don’t need to change though. sex is lame, i promise.” 
“you seem to have alot of it, so there must be something good about it” 
“for me, yeah” he grins. “but im selfish. most men are, and you deserve better than some highschool tumble with a guy who looks like he can’t find the clit to save his life” his eyes weigh you down. “just keep bein’ you. If i come back from college and hear that you’re the towns tramp stamp, m’ not gonna be happy” 
and that’s that. 
you’re 16 when eren leaves for college. you get to 18 without ever being touched. 
you’re 18 and you wish you hadn’t begged armin to let you come to this stupid bomfire party. it’s just the first time he’s been home in the 2 years since he’d left for college, and you know that means eren is back too, though you have yet to see him. he’s supposed to be at the party though.
you wonder if he’ll react to having seen you after not for awhile, if he’ll look at you different now that you’re grown. you’re wearing a simple pleated white skirt and a pink top, the picture of innocence you’ve always been, never changing. 
being around so many people makes you uncomfortable, you want to cling to armins side, but you don’t want to be annoying so you tell him its okay to leave you. your eyes scan the mass of people on the crowded beach as you nervously hold your solo cup to your chest. 
your eyes stop their nervous skittering when they land on someone familiar. 
college eren is completely different and yet wholly the same since you’d last seen him. he’s wearing a red bomber jacket, over a black t-shirt and skinny jeans, scuffed converse kicking in the sand as he shifts from one foot to the other. you peep tan skin, a hint of a tattoo peeking on his neck and….and black hair. he’d dyed his hair, and, is that jewelry on his ear? rings on his hand?
he’s smiling easily with a pretty blonde and...and reiner. talking to them like old friends as he tilts his head back and laughs, taking a swig from his cup. he’s still chuckling and shaking his head when his eyes flick distractedly over, rove over you and then stop. even from all the way where you are the green of his eyes pins you in place. the warm glow of the bonfire dances across his features, and you see the bastard has a lip ring as well. he takes his time cataloging you and you do him, before his lips tilt, he hands off his drink and he makes his way over to you. 
your whole body is tense with nerves as he gets closer and closer.
when he’s standing in front of you, the smell of his cologne wafts over you. his smile is small and genuine. “hey, pip” 
pip as in short for pipsqueak. you have to fight the urge to grin at him, your cheeks warming pleasantly, even though you groan out loud. “m’ not little anymore” 
“I can see that” eren eyes rake over you, linger on your bare legs before dragging slowly back up. his eyes feel like a caress and when they meet yours again, you’re already tingly. you’ve never been touched sexually, and just one look from eren has you wet between the legs like nothing. “still dress like you wanna be an extra in a Bratz commercial” 
the tension disputes as you swat his arm. “shut up!! Its a fashion choice, not like you’d know. dressed like a wannabe rockstar” 
“aw, c’mon. you’d be my groupie right?” 
you roll your eyes. “you wish, jaeger”
“mm” he hums softly. “s’cute though. always has been” 
before you can even register the compliment, he’s leaning forward to peek into your cup, swiping it easily from you. “underage drinking, are we? left you for a couple years and you go rebel barbie on me” 
you squawk as he chugs all of your drink back in one gulp, crushing the cup in his fist and tossing it behind him. “ren! I wasn’t even drinking it. It was..” you wave your hand around. “for the aesthetic”
“uh huh” he drones, but then he jerks his chin. “i’ll get you another one to stand around and look pretty with then. C’mon”
cute, pretty. the compliments are gonna make your heart fly out of your chest if he doesn’t let up. you follow him as he leads you to a keg, one that’s a little ways away from the bustle of the party, close to the parking lot where you came in. 
you shyly say ‘thank you’ when he fills you a cup and hands it to you, proceeding to lean back against a car as he goes back to observing you.
to distract yourself you mumble, “you can’t just lean on a strangers car for the sake of being cool” 
the grin is back. “you think im cool?” when you glare at him he rolls his eyes and slaps the hood of the car. “she’s mine, pip. you can untwist your panties” 
you blink at him, “since when did you get a new car? and when did you dye your hair?” 
he looks at you curiously, drumming his fingers. “do you not, like. follow me on instagram?”
you look away, kicking your feet in the sand. hesitantly you admit, “didn’t wanna miss you, so i didn’t look” 
he doesn’t say anything to that. the silence stretches between you, making you nervous. should you not have said that? you guessed it was weird, after all, but it was true. If you’d looked at how erens life was progressing without you there to see it, you’d have cried and been a total lovesick girl about it. 
he finally breaks the silence. “do you have a boyfriend?” 
you look back at him. “uh...no? do you?”
the smirk you wanted ghosts over his lips again, and your eyes are drawn to his lip ring when he tugs it between his teeth. “nah, you know me. unattainable” 
“yeah, i know” you say under your breath, thinking of how eren jaeger had been an unattainable fantasy for you for years. 
“so no current boyfriend or…?” 
“no boyfriends...ever” its embarrassing to admit, but less humiliating than admitting that the reason that was is because you’re in love with your brothers best friend, the very man standing before you now. 
“that’s kinda tragic, pip” eren hops up on the hood of his car and fishes a cigarette out of his pocket. he waves a hand at you, “you’re rockin’ a bod like that and no one’s bagged you? thought you’d be beating down options with a bat by now” 
you watch the smoke that plumes in the air, the way it coils and wisps, and really look at eren. he’s tragically beautiful. his no black hair is boyishly messy, tangled around his head in a dark halo. his face is sharp and tan, his eyes striking and making you feel like you’re sinking into the sand beneath your feet.
you’ve wanted him for so long, it makes you ache. years and years of pushing away men and declining confessions for this man in front of you. you’d never expected anything from him, but you couldn’t move past the fantasy in your head. couldn’t imagine giving any of your firsts to anyone but eren. 
“you told me to stay innocent” its out before you can stop the words, they just fumble out, spilling from your lips and into the air like the smoke.
eren stills, pauses from where he’d been about to take another drag. his expression is unreadable. he flicks the ashes from the cig on the sand, stumps it out under his foot as he hops down. the wind ruffles his dark hair as he just looks and looks and looks at you. 
“yeah?” and oh, jesus, if the rough gravel in his voice doesn’t make your cunt warm immediately. “and you listened?” 
you squeeze your thighs together, an action that draws erens gaze between your legs. to late to back down now, you think, and wet your lips. “y-yeah. I did” 
“you didn’t let any boys touch you while i was gone?” eren continues and he draws closer, creeping towards you.
you shake your head, silent as he comes in front of you. he reaches up to delicately push a strand of hair behind you ear with one of his ring fingers. he keeps it tucked behind your ear as he towers over you, staring you down. “you’re still my innocent little girl, huh?” 
you wonder if this is how it feels to be seduced, seduced by eren jaeger no less. his eyes are warm, and they make you feel warm from where the rest on your eyes, and then, your lips. they part under his gaze, on instinct. “I am, ren. always have been” 
his eyes darken, and the finger behind your ear becomes his whole hand sliding to cup the back of your head, slowly fisitng your hair in it. “shit” he tilts your head up. “you can’t say things like that, baby”
baby, baby, baby. your head swims. you’re on autopilot now, speaking without thinking and you think that’s good because if you were thinking clearly you wouldn't have the courage. “i’ve always been your good girl. no one elses” 
you have one second to hear his exhale before his lips are crashing against yours, and oh. oh, he’s good. you feel the metal of his lip ring against your bottom lip as he slides his tongue in your mouth, eating you up.
“god, you’re sweet” he nips your lip. “knew you would be”
you pant into his mouth, your hands curling on his chest, “y-you’ve thought about me?”
“‘course i did, im not blind” he pulls away. “I just really like my dick and didn’t want it chopped off. armin is scary” 
you know he can be when he wants to be, knows if he saw eren ravishing his little sister against his car right now, body parts would be strewn about. and that’s just from armins verbal warfare.
you look at eren demurely from under your lashes, “i don’t want anything to happen to your…” you trail off at the end.
erens eyebrows climb up his forehead, he presses close to you, tugs you to him. “my…” he prods, eyes glinting with mischief. 
you look away, pouting. “know i can’t say it” you mumble, hating that even now, saying vulgar words is embarrassing for you.
erens chest shakes with a laugh. “you just sucked my tongue down your throat, pip, and you can’t talk about my cock? you’re precious, c’mere.” he starts walking backwards, towards his car. “we gotta be sneaky about it but-” he dips down to kiss you again, once, twice. “i really wanna touch you” 
you gulp, and nod, let him pull you to his car and open the backseat for you, climbing in after you. he shuts and locks it behind him and then he’s facing you, eren jaeger giving you his full attention. looking at you like he wants you, like he’s seeing you, like he wants to do alot of bad things to you.
you place a shaking hand on his shoulder. “im- i dont know what to do..”
you want to impress him, but pretending you’re good at something you’re not won’t do that. eren doesn’t like liars anyway. 
he scoots close to you, pulling you halfway onto his lap until you’re sitting comfortably against him. you bite your lip when you feel the hard ridge of his cock pressing against your ass under your skirt. one of his hands settles on your bare thigh, scooting it up just barely.
“you ever watch porn, sweetheart?” erens breath puffs against your ear and you squirm on top of him. 
you push down your own embarrassment, resigning yourself to be a big girl and be honest. “s-sometimes” 
“yeah?” god, why does just that word turn you on so much? “tell me what kind of stuff you watch when you touch your little pussy” 
his vulgar words go straight to your cunt, at the same time his hand slides up your thighs and slips under your skirt. you close your eyes when you feel the tip of his finger trace over the band of your panties. “they’re always a couple..” you gasp when his hand dips inside, palm cupping over your pussy. “a-and the guy has dark hair..”
“Imagining anyone in particular?” eren teases, but you hear his breath catch at the same time yours does when he sinks one long finger inside. the folds around your slit part seamlessly around the intrusion, sucking his finger in like your pussy wants it there. “so wet, baby. keep talking for me?”
ever the good girl, you push through the tingles and the heat spreading down your legs, the slick sound of his finger fucking in and out of you filling the silent car as you struggle to find words. “s-shes always inexperienced. Its her first time and...and hes gentle” you moan a little when erens thumb comes to swirl around your clit, hips lips finding your neck. he’s teasing another finger at your tight entrance when you swallow another groan and try to keep talking like he’d asked. “he’s gentle but he takes. t-takes what he wants”
“mm” eren hums, tongue sliding against your skin. you gasp when the tip of his ring finger edges in beside the other one, stretching your tight passage around his digits in thorough little twists of his fingers. “that’s real good, baby. you like the sound of that, huh?” 
eren hooks his chin over your shoulder, bunches your skirt around your waist so he can see where your little pussy is clenching and squeezing around him, clit engorged and throbbing for attention. when you don’t answer, he continues, using the slick dripping down your slit, gathering it and then pushing back into you. “I bet” he says, low, husky. “In those videos, he eats her out real nice, yeah? makes sure her little virgin cunt is wet enough to take his cock”
“y-yeah” you pant, holding his wrist but not pulling it away, pushing him more towards you. you’re starting to grind down against the pleasure, walls rhythmically fluttering around his fingers, fucking yourself on them without even knowing it. he curls them, and your head thumps back against his shoulder as you cry out. 
“i’ll give that to you” eren promises, pumping his fingers faster, his other hand coming up to cup one of your tits over your blouse, giving it a squeeze. “gonna take you home after you cream around my fingers and lay you out on your bed” he kisses your cheek, holding you firm against him when you start to twitch and writhe. “lick this little flower open. wanna feel your thighs squeeze my face when i drink the cum from your pussy, get you all loose and wet and then i wanna feel you drip down my dick when i slide it inside”
“oh god, ren!” you jerk in his hold as you feel your orgasm crest over you, gushing down his palm, as you ride his hand, milking it as tingles shoot across your whole body. A milky, creamy film rests around his knuckles when he slides his fingers out of your weeping cunt, still pulsating and twitching from the come down. 
he rubs the excess slick around your folds and clit, rubbing it in. you whimper and he chuckles and kisses your cheek. 
you sag against him, fucked out. eren brushes some hair from your forehead and kisses it. “wannabe punk pounds sweet virgin pussy into her bed” 
you look at him, confused and dazed “huh?”
eren grins at you. “s’ gonna be the name of our porno” 
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kunimikat · 4 years ago
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How they act after you break up with them.
(I made sure to check but there might be small grammar errors, and this is a long one so strap in 🙇, but hope you enjoy angst+fluff here) but not me actually feeling bad for them after-
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Is more out of it then usual.
The reason you broke up with him is because you felt like it wasn’t a real relationship. And more like you sometimes got to talk during class, and sometimes out of school.
He writes in his a separate notebook of ways he could’ve done better
Starts comparing himself to other guys more often
Leaves earlier then everyone else to got to dorms.
Mumbles even more then usual, and sometimes the only person that can snap him out of it is Aizawa.
Sometimes takes it out on his friends
“Hey Deku!-“
“Not right now Uraraka.”
“Oi, Deku nerd, the-“
“Can you not right now Kacchan?”
“HAAH?-“
“Midoryia! Would you like to study?”
“Maybe later Iida...”
Todoroki offered him soba but it resulted in Midoriya slowly slurping up soba as he looked into the void of people
He shut everyone one out and didn’t talk barely most of the week.
He’d take out a lot of his anger during training.
It somehow finally clicks into place how bad you feel and how much you miss him when All Might pull you aside and asks. “Uhhh...Is Young Midoriya ok? I’m getting real worried....ITS NOT LIKE I DONT WORRY ABOUT MY OTHER STUDENTS HAHAHA! HOW’S-
There’s 15 minutes of your life awkwardly telling All Might how all your classmates are doing.
Which made you want to jump off the top of UA at the moment.
You decide to head to his dorm and ask him about it, cause you feel like it’s your fault.
You walk in on him crying, clutching the shirt you bought for him on his birthday.
You almost dropped to your knees in guilt at the sight
You rushed over and sat by him, comforting him, though it wasn’t much as you started crying too.
Basically a crying festival for an hour.
“Please....Please Y/N I love you so much, I promise I’ll make it work, and I’ll do my best to make it up to you, just please...PLEASE don’t leave me.” You kiss him on the lips and then his hand, “Babe it’s not all on you, I promise I’ll do better this time too, I’m so sorry for being selfish, I love you, ok?” Another crying fest.
After you start dating again:
Always makes sure you’re comfortable, and checks into your dorm before he starts a study session.
Helps you with your work before his. ( Though you insist he doesn’t as he’s gotten points off multiple times for turning in his work late.)
Goes on dates every time you have some free space in your schedules. Somehow ends up in an All Might merch shop 80% of the time.
!!CUDDLE SESSIONS AFTER HERO TRAINING AT ALL TIMES!! Even in Recovery Girl’s office, though many times she bops you both on the head and tells you to get out.
(If you both like All Might) You both geek out over new All Might stuff, and his old interviews while wearing an All Might onesies.
(If you like a different hero) You could spend hours bickering on who’s best hero, pulling up recordings and articles on the. With you holding your favorite hero plushie and him wearing All Might pajamas.
And waking up early just to take a long route to school together.
Makes sure to say ‘I love you’ at every small moment, and compliments you, though he can’t take compliments himself-
If it’s a permanent breakup:
“I...I understand, but why?”
Tears well up in his eyes and he for once he keeps eye contact with you, without looking away
It takes everything in you to not breakdown
“I’m sorry Izuku, I just don’t think it’ll work out in the end.” He grabs your hand and holds it both of his. He puts it to his forehead, nearly on his knees at this point. You try not to cry with him, but you knew it wasn’t going to end up a happily ever after in the end. And you wanted to break it off before that could happen.
“Izuku, I know, I know, I’m so sorry, I wish it couldn’t end like this-“
“Then don’t let it. Please Y/N don’t let this end.”
You eyes welled up as you put a hand over your mouth while repeating ‘I’m sorry, so sorry Izuku’. You looked away from him as you slipped your hand out of his, you close your eyes painfully, the tears finally running down your face. You couldn’t help but look back one more time, and almost wanted to run to where he was and take it all back. He sat on his knees, his head in his hands as painful sobs wracked his body. You quickly leave the room, shutting the door behind you.
You both were pretty quiet and emotionless the whole week.
Midoriya was even worse then before,
It got to the point where sometimes he didn’t eat or sleep
He barely responded to anything anyone said
Hell, even Bakugo was worried at some point
Midoriya would always go back to his dorm and cuddle with the gifts you gave him while you were dating.
It took a long time for him to get over it, and even when he thought it did, he still gets emotional over it
Even after highschool it pains him to see your off doing your own thing without you at his side the whole time
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Quieter then usual
Is so deep in thought, sometimes forgets he’s in class or what he’s doing
During tests, or while working on assignments he’d be so deep in thought he didn’t realize he broke his pencil, or used his quirk on his desk
Instead of having his usual outburst on people he’d just walk off, or click his tounge and walk off
Even during Hero Lessons he’d be less calculated, and not as pumped up
When anyone tried to ask he’d just say “Fuck off, I’m fine.”
His grades slightly dropped
He had bags under his eyes, and had even worse posture then usual
When it came time to leave, he’d be the first one out, and no one could find out where he’d go
A permanent frown was on his face at all times (basically him most of time but with a deeper frown)
No one knew what to do at this point
It didn’t click with you until one day during Hero Lessons
He was sparring with Kirishima and all of a sudden he fainted
Everyone was surprised to say the most
You rushed with Kirishima to Recover Girls office
You both almost busted the door off it’s hinges
She wacked you both on the head but quickly tended to Bakugo, surprising you both as she checked on him
“Oh....I wouldn’t have expected this from Bakugo.” You and Kirishima had confused looks on your faces. “Well he passed out from exhaustion, which I usually see with that foolish Midoriya boy. This one usually keeps up with himself, something must’ve happened.” She cut herself off as she saw the look on your face that said it all. She beckons Kirishima to follow her out, as he still wasn’t getting what was happening.
You finally got a good look at him, and saw just how exhausted he looked. The bags under his eyes, his bruised body, and how pained he looked in his sleep. You hugged the non-bruised part of his arm, and finally let the tears you held let go. “I’m sorry Katsuki...I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” Before you realized he woke up, he placed his free hand on your head, rubbing small and soothing circles on your head. “S’okay, let’s make this work.” You knew you didn’t have to say anything else as you both stayed like that until Recovery Girl came in to kick you both out.
After you start dating again:
Comes to your dorm everyday to get you up knowing you’d oversleep if he didn’t (also wants to see your sleeping face...not in a weird way)
Cooks you breakfast in bed on off days,
You guys cook something together when you have a movie night
Instead of yelling most times, he just makes sure he understands your side of everything before jumping to conclusions
Makes sure he isn’t too rough with you verbally (lol not sure physically)
Brings you to his parents house during some free time since you get along with his mom and dad well
Won’t admit it but adores the fact that his parents love you
Whispers ‘I love you’ when he’s made sure your ‘sleeping’ (you’re not, you just wanna hear him say it all shy like)
You guys go on training dates, where you both train together, then have a picnic where you just trained
Him being more open with PDA, like holding your hand, or laying his head on your shoulder, etc. just small stuff
He loves playing with your hair and twisting it around his fingers while cuddling or studying
You both cheer on your favorite hero during a fight on TV, or you pick a random channel on TV and you just listen to him rant how stupid something is while you lean onto his shoulder at 2am (somehow got him to stay up this late)
If it’s a permanent breakup:
“No...no...you can’t, you can’t be serious”
He sounded so broken. His fists clutched so hard you thought his bones would pop out
Anger was evident in his face, and he honestly scared you with the face he was making
“Y/N....are you joking?” You frown and step back a little, did he really think everything you said was a joke? “No Bakugo, I just think this isnt gonna work out in the end.” You heard him click his tongue, then just look at you in shock, then anger. He looked down, his bangs covering his expression. “So you’re just gonna end it like that? No working anything out, just break up? It was one fucking mistake Y/N.”
“Yeah one big mistake, you don’t suck faces with some other person on accident, Bakugo.” The venom in your voice slicing through the tension filled air. “Can you just fucking forgive me? I won’t do it again.”
“You said that last time, Katsuki, then you go and clown off again-“
Before you could get anything else out Bakugo already had his quirk going in one hand, and the other holding your shoulder down. You both looked surprised, even as he backed away. “No..nononono fuck Y/N baby I’m sorry-” you smacked the hand that reached out for you. You started packing everything, Bakugo’s eyes widened as he just stood in shock. Before he knew it you were leaving already.
“N...NO NO Y/N PLEASE, I’M SORRY-“ he grabbed you by the arm that reached for the door knob. You quickly shrugged him out of his grasp, and opened the door. “Goodbye Bakugo, I hope well for the next person with you.” And you slammed it in his face. He stood there, it’s like the emotions he felt before were completely wiped when you slammed the door on him. It was 8:03pm, he should start getting ready for bed anyway.
For a few weeks he was unresponsive, and only talked when he needed to
His movements were sluggish and he’d often stare at nothing
Bakugo didn’t even glare, or really do anything when Midoriya tried talking him
Or shittyhair, dunce face, raccoon eyes, or soy sauce face
They were all the same, and just molded into one voice every time someone tried talking to him
After a while he got over it, but he still regrets what he did
You helped him through so much yet he went off and did stupid shit
Even after highschool, he’d still keep up on you frequently through social media
Basically stalking you on there, guessing he never truly got over it once he felt tears subconsciously stream down his face as he saw you with someone else, happier.
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He felt like he didn’t do anything wrong, and he was confused at the throb in his heart every time you looked away from him or ignored him.
So he did ask you, and all you did was look at him like he just hit you.
Why did you look so hurt?
Todoroki shrugged it off, thinking you’d come back like you did after every fight you guys had
But you didn’t, and that’s what took an actual toll on him
More emotional
A permanent frown on his pretty features most of the time
All he mostly eats is soba
He didn’t know how to handle this in all honesty
Sometimes he’d just stare at you, and even when you looked back he’d just stare...
Sometimes he’s so out of it he doesn’t realize he’s either froze the entire classroom or was a living breathing radiator, or both (rip Momo, Satou, and Tokoyami)
He’d ask Midoryia for help but it came out as a fumbled mess most of the time:
“Midoryia...how do you hurt....them, a lot...without...? Can you help?
Midoryia is just like:
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(Sorry I had to add that in I was cackling sm from it)
“I think you should just talk to them Todoroki.”
That was harder to do then he expected, you mangaged to avoid him pretty well,
One day he was just fed up and as soon as the bell rang he took your hand and left the class
He takes you to an empty classroom, his left side nearly giving you frostbite
You were about to yell at him before you saw his broken expression
“What...what did I do for it to be like this?” You we’re now quiet as you saw the confused and hurt expression on his face. Him barely being able to control either of his quirks, he was shaking, yet still held a confused expression. It just clicked with you, Todoroki wasn’t used to the sudden emotions or feelings, and when one of the people he’d usually go to to talk about it wasn’t there, he started to crumble.
You hugged him tightly , not caring if his quirks messed up your uniform. “I’m sorry Y/N....I’m sorry I’m not enough, but-“ You cover his mouth as tears fell from your eyes and onto the ground or his uniform. “I- I-I’m so sorry Todo...it’s just you never gave me affection and I was being so selfish and petty about it, I just- I didn’t realize that you went through your own experience for it to turn out like this. It’s not your fault, and I love you the way you are Shoto.” Todoroki didn’t even notice the tears come down his face as you kissed him over and over again. A small ‘I’m sorry’ from you every time. His quirks calmed down and now you were holding each other in a random classroom. You’re heart nearly stopped as you looked up at him and saw a small, teary eyed smile.
After you start Dating again:
Todoroki was much more observant
He’d stay up late readings articles saying “How to understand emotions” or “Is there other good food then Cold Soba” wait-
Regularly gets you gifts, even though most of the time you make him return the stuff since he’s been getting so much with his dads card
Endeavor ended up yelling at you both in a 7/11 while you were stuffing your faces with a soba flavored chips
You both figured out a way to get Todoroki to express himself without words
He’d slightly activate his left side if he wanted any sort of attention, and his right side was if he was feeling stressed or upset
He subconsciously goes to your dorm now to check up on you to make sure you’ve had a glass of water, dinner or anything really (He just wanted a reason to go to your dorm)
You played with his hair once, and he’s never going back
When cuddling he’d lay his head in the crook of your neck, hoping to feel you playing with his hair
You push him to start taking therapy sessions to understand what emotions he’s feeling and how to express them
Takes you in your free time to an empty field just to hear you talk, and learn more about you
And he’d always wake up early and made sure to get a few snacks for you before you woke up and brought them to your dorm room (Last time he tried to cook he almost burned the kitchen down)
Overall Todoroki just loves giving you small head pats now, you don’t know where it came from but you didn’t complain
Poor bby stuttered so hard the first time he said ‘I love you’ you giggled
Ended up making him feel embarrassed and like he did something wrong, but you quickly kissed him/praised him
He can’t stop saying it now, one time you picked up his pencil, before you could hand it to him just a sudden “I love you Y/N” the entire class looked at you both in shock
“STOP SUCKING FACES OVER THERE!”
“SHUT UP BAKUGO”
“HAAAH?”
Todoroki is the happiest he’s been.
If it’s a permanent breakup:
“Over? What do you mean we’re over?”
You felt so horrible by the the pure confusion on his face
But the rude things he said to you, over powering your want to get back with him
Lately Todoroki has been more protective, and rude. Insulting everything you do, belittling you slightly. It just added up and you were tired of it
Todoroki tilted his head to the side, deep in thought.
“Y/N your being on the dumber side again, are you hanging out with them too much?” You were taken aback by how nonchalantly he insulted you and your friends. “Excuse me? Todoroki did I hear you right?” You stepped foward leaning your head toward him. “Of course you can, or did Bakugo’s yelling make you not hear so well?” The fact he said it with no emotion, or nothing to it was making you clench your fist. “The hell has gotten into you Todoroki?” You shove his shoulder a bit. He frowned at you heavily making you flinch. “Well if you didn’t go and ignore me most of this week maybe I wouldn’t be like this. I usually hold my tongue but you’ve been rude this entire week.”
You stood there speechless. “Well Ex-fucking-cuse me Shoto. Maybe if you didn’t insult me all the damn time I wouldn’t ignore you, or wait for an decent apology.”
You drag out the last words as you glared at him, Todoroki giving one back. “I’m only telling the truth so you don’t look dumb. I’m helping you out Y/N, I thought you’d understand.” You scoff in utter shock, you couldn’t help the sudden urge to slap some sense into him. Now he stood speechless, the force in that slap causing his hair to look messy, and a red mark on his cheek. Tears were in your eyes as you clenched your fist, biting your lip from cussing him out on the spot. “Your lucky I don’t beat your sorry ass, just...just the the fuck out Todoroki!” You pushed him toward the door. He looked at you with no emotion in his face as he saw you start to bawl your eyes out. “Just...just get the hell out Todoroki, it’s over, we’re over.” He felt a pang in his heart, but choose to ignore it and just left.
It only actually came to him during the night as he was about to walk to your dorm after a nightmare, when he realized the entire conversation
He tried knocking on your door but you didn’t answer, even though he could hear your music
He went back to his dorm, sat on his bed and just had a full mental breakdown
Realizing his main emotional support that helped him through mostly everything was gone
He felt he said stuff his father said to you already which made it even worse
He tried texting and calling you but you had him blocked on everything
He repeated the entire conversation in his head, just now coming to how disgusting he really did sound
Todoroki for that whole week was an emotional wreck
During hero training if he was thinking about you or what he did he doesn’t notice poor Satou trying to get out of his wall of Ice.
Is always with Midoryia at some given time,
He kind of clinged onto people in his circle that gave him attention of some sort
When he some time passed he eventually got over it
After Highschool you both kept in touch, but it pained him when he saw you engaged and happy with another person
But he was happy if you were happy.
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Heyyy so this is probably the longest thing I’ve written since like my last Wattpad fanfics I used to do(yikes). But hope you enjoy, and don’t be afraid to request! I’m taking them now so go wild.
Sorry that they were all confusing it’s my first hcs+scenario thingy, but I have a few other things in the works so... 💃🕺
2K notes · View notes
starglow-xx · 4 years ago
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(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!
*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧
i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas
if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe
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atsushi with a tween! sister
ft. the armed detective agency
like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period
the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12
for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were
they assumed you were about 9-10ish
you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)
so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight
(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)
when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida
imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him
kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 
“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”
when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited
you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency
anything was better than the stupid orphanage
and besides!
you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?
at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness
his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others
pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world
and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother
pfftt like he could ever fail
but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation
with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you
what a sweetheart 🥺
he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you
you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point
but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you
like all the time
(y/n), here have this, you might need it”
“but nii-san you just gave me—”
“take it”
#1 spoiler
also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection
you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)
atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes
it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖
the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other
in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother
and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶
if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe
you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep
god i love him 🤧🤧
atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved
port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route
someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week
you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off
you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you
whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)
will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe
he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him
you are his reason to keep going
agency head canons !!
atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure
everyone can see it
except kunikida of course
kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency
you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary
he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon
atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it
sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”
he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you
yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you
she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!
atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy
yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you
she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc
also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time
“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”
“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”
fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure
bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe
along with cat talk!
most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless
“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”
“hmm i see...”
he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks
sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep
you always wake up with a blanket over you
dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle
frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work
walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff
also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone
he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain
he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.
is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first
he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail
“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”
“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”
always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day
ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle
will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all
loves it when you compliment him
if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you
“...and that’s how the crime happened”
“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”
atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you
“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”
“can i really?!”
“rANPO-SAN NO—”
ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 
the tanizakis are like siblings to you!
a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless
the two of them adore you and think you’re precious
atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two
hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)
sometimes you have sibling swap days
you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi
strange i know
each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing
junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent
like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those
naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)
besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)
he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger
and besides
he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister
“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”
“of course! don’t worry about it” :)
wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl
you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either
“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”
“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”
you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!
just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you
you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother
atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to
“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”
“hmm... im not sure...”
you and kenji talk abt anything and everything
he even teaches you how to take care of plants!
sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general
“wait where are we again kenji-san?”
“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”
“don’t worry! neither do i!”
bonus things!
yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what
“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”
you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door
“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”
ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused
suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood
it just clicked for everybody in the room
(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)
atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him
yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him
fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces
honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother
“why does this have to happen” :(
“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”
“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D
“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”
next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida
you know
the normal
you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that
it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can
kunikida takes care of math (obviously)
yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)
ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english
atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!
as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects
sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!
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sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)
and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3
writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason
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calehenituseappreciation · 4 years ago
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Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.
Tommy is the god.
Tommy.
hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)
Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 
it would be so fucking hilarious
and tommy just doesnt tell them
so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing
imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?
imagine how fucking funny it is
just
imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave
ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 
Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.
Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol
And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 
drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks
Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.
drista and tommy are both born at the same time.
Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)
Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre
okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 
and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???
phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 
ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM
everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs
tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy
thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content
quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy
imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 
a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards
imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing
but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics
tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 
i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants
he just does it for the sport of robbery
JAKOGFSDOH
THE HOLY LAND
dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing
imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form
Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?
tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached
Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this
tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 
phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine
phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them
phil is the only one who can control tommy
god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)
tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts
tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 
In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)
Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)
wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 
OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER
tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories
once he told him the story of a man named thesus
another time he told him the story of a blood god
like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like
(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)
baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 
Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)
okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting
dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute
tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies
tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?
wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home
ghostbur doesnt remember that though
he only remembers the good
tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile
phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 
drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 
or like tommy with ghostbur like
ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good
wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother
tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good
*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins
ghostbur isnt worried about tommy
he knows hes strong
phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories
and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’
tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time
ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see
wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god
it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later
wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck
tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.
Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd
and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.
he would totally do this tho im crying.
drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.
thats my take anyways later might continue this
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heyitsyn · 4 years ago
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MANAGER!SEIJOH AU
a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were
for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!
anon:
- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛
- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn
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EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD
okayokayokay
so this is a what if thing
like what if ushijima was your older brother
SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING
you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom
you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother
this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in
duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him
he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two
then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved
mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house
thats what brought on your love for volleyball
you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him
but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it
you liked whatever your brother liked
he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you
especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream
even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height
‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’
*insert lenny face*
AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF
CAN I PLEASE DIE
however
when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi
like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father
you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him
so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child
lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi
yall youre like 5
i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time
in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt
maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again
you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too
she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection
your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something
you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway
the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study
‘tadaima’
you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice
‘oh? y/n?’
his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand
your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there
your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago
as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking
they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that
you and your friends are like 12 tf
you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot
‘hey, papa’
you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin
‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’
you nodded
there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop
the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man
your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in
‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’
oh god of course you did
they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!
with old coach ukai
‘what did she do now?’
your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice
‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’
there was a smile in your face
your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess
she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family
obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother
‘so when are we going back?’
you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school
takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news
‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’
nah bro you didnt even care about the last part
literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked 
‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’
and thus brought you back to japan
you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life
OH
your BROTHER!
okay
so waka-chan def heard you coming back
your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there
‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’
LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO
there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact
however
there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him
but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!
he would do anything in his power to do so!
when you arrived
your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around
in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’
okay wait i love grandma usui 
you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms
‘nana’
you sobbed and she hugged you tightly
‘im so happy youre back home’
your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home
old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay
the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself
‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’
your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room
‘nii-chan’
you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms
you ran into them and he held you tightly
‘i missed you. so much’
he whispered and you nodded 
it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again
oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young
so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you
duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her
polite but distant
due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp
there
you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun
and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend
the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu
but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful
lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap
during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager
goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY
him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well
he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately
LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI
‘y/n-chan!’
‘y/n-chan!’
‘y/n-chan!’
hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you
tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now
ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?
‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’
you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick
‘there once was a man with-’
lets just say
you were definitely your brother’s sister
sometimes though
you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki
you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing
they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength
‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’
‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’
you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<
‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’
duh a compliment from a girl?
dead
shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him
this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done
semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america
‘did you see celebrities down the street?’
he asked you excitedly one day during lunch
you stopped then smiled softly
‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’
nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities
OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI
taichi is a generally quiet guy
like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him
but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice
usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning
you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym
‘kawanishi-san?’
you called out and felt guilty when he jumped 
‘oh, hey’
he aknowledged
‘wha-’
you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes
‘what are you doing?’
you tiredly asked
taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height
‘im training early’
he answered
‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’
you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression
‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’
taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart
‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’
he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin
‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’
you reasoned
he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair
‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’
yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you
usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball
maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary
his game face was practically a mean face
basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school
duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them 
but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki
‘WHHYYYY!!!!’
‘NOOO!!!!!’
‘why can’t you?’
semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it
‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’
oh right
the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system
it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago
since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum
‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’
tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm
‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’
oh dear
USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA
they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter
‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’
uhhh
well
tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager
hehe
surprise?
but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team
even as a manager
meanwhile in seijohhh
OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~
okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name
therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!
you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1 
and you still are their adorable baby manager
you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him
was it traitorous? 
maybe
but you actually even help them when they practice
duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji 
‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’
matsukawa commented and you just smiled
‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’
LMAO
little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under
there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up
BUT
you cant always be sneaky
it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting
you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly
‘TOMUTOMU!’
you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug
this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too
your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much 
these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED
meanwhile
the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to 
‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’
oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up
‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’
‘ill find her’
matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble
but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up
they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them
is that
you?
with
shi
ra
to
ri
za
wa
oh my god
‘y/n-chan!’
oikawa shouted, being the first to speak
you jumped and your own eyes widened
‘oh. oh no’
you mumbled
the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked
period
‘what is happening’
iwaizumi mumbled
yea the others were just shocked period
‘hey guys’
you waved and you motioned them closer
‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’
you smiled uneasily and they could see that
‘aaand?’
oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story
you sighed
‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’
you mumbled the last part
but they heard you
‘HAH?!’
you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them
‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’
you babbled
‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’
mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team
‘i came to the country late’
‘THE COUNTRY?!’
well,,
turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/
even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything
they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,
they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou
‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’
‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’
wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy
‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’
makki said and they nodded
it was true
you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team
so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka
you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile
‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’
watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus
‘yea. lets go home’
as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum
‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’
oikawa whined and pouted
but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head
‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’
oikawa didnt seem satisfied though
‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’
iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it
well
you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously
‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’
oikawa screamed
a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!
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jangofctts · 4 years ago
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Are You in Or Out?
Rated: Explicit 
Word count: 11.5K yall I am SORRY
Warnings: good lord y'all here we GO-- smut, explicit language, violence and mentions of blood and gore, injuries, unprotected sex (don't be a dick, wrap that stick!), oral (m&f receiving), blindfolding, vaginal and anal fingering, vaginal and anal sex, double penetration, spit is used as lube but for the love of GOD doNT DO THAT, there are some dom vibes on Paz’s end    
Summary: The job you’re on takes a turn for the worst--Paz comes to your rescue and you're brought to the Covert. There you meet Din Djarin. though during a good natured sparring session, you’re suddenly stuck between an age old rivalry that spirals out of hand. Hopefully an agreement can be met. 
a/n: hey...how y’all doin....SO lemme explain you smthn. I said helmets must be OfF--giv me them LIPS BABEY so this is a slight AU in which mandos can see other mandos’ faces. ya get me? I also tHot that it would be nice and fun to set the timeline 5-6 years BEFORE the plot of the Mandalorian so we gots a younger din here. anyway, as always enjoy and I hope you like!!
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes—
Some as little as burning your finger on the nozzle of a smoking blaster or tripping over your own shoelaces. Simple things. Mindless things. 
Nothing that could ever compare to the catastrophic decision of picking up bounty hunting as a reliable source of income. 
The little ones were easy—tax evaders and deserters of the Empire—most who’d yield and gladly follow without complaint just at the sight of your blaster pointed between their eyes. And the gag of it is—most of the time you never bothered to load the damn thing. 
Reckless.
An invitation for disaster. 
But skirting that precarious edge, one little slip up away from plunging head first into inevitable trouble is better than Bracca. Stars—anything is better than Bracca. There’s no glory in bounty hunting but there’s even less in ship scrapping. Abysmal pay in exchange for risking your life on rain slicked metal with only the Ibdis Maw to break your fall.  
The guild you work for is considerate—scratch that. Greef Karga is considerate. Sure the flirting is a touch unbearable but it saves your ass in the long run. All easy money bounties set aside for you in exchange for a cheap drink, hollow laughs and sugar sweet smiles. 
It’s enough credits to get by—more than plenty to rent a room and charter a ship. 
But there’s only so many bounties to capture within the limits of the guild and oh so many people the empty blaster trick works on. And so the credits begin to thin; it gets too expensive to buy off a pilot and the debate over buying food or being able to pay for your room becomes more frequent than the scraprats that skitter inside the walls.  
It’s suicide to snag a higher paying bounty because....well—these bounties shoot back. 
Whatever.
 Might as well die trying. Who knows, maybe you could score big time if you manage to pull this off. 
Maybe. 
                                                       -=-=-=-
You’re not sure who’s more surprised—Karga when you asked for the bounty or yourself when he actually gave it to you. 
“Are you sure, kid? This could—“
“End in a fiery shitshow? Yeah—I figured that,” you sigh, swirling your drink with a little complimentary toothpick. “But I need the money.” 
“Hah! You’ve got guts, girl.” He flashes you a smile and smooths down his mustache with his thumb and forefinger. “Tell you what. The last assignment was just taken but I’m sure if you run you could catch him. Work somethin’ out.”
Jumping from your seat, you throw on your coat and toss a couple credits onto the table to cover the drink. “What’s he look like?” 
“Big fellow—Mandalorian. You’ll know when you see him.”
You shout your thanks over your shoulder and hightail outta there. The landing docks aren’t far, you can see them from here. It’s finding the guy that could pose a problem.
If he hasn’t already left, you bitterly think. 
However, it seems the universe is on your side today. Karga was right. He is big. Stands out like a sore thumb against his ship that glitters dully in the overcast sky. Kinda like an oversized blueberry. A yellow and blue blueberry….not important—
“Hey! Hey, you!” You’re so close, just a couple yards away. You swear and hurry up your pace as he steps onto the loading ramp. “Big guy! Large...blue man?”
You trip over your own feet as he turns his head. Fuck—
No way are you gonna be able to bargain with this guy. Built like a fucking AT-AT and probably just as stubborn. After all, no one would ever be dumb enough to come between a Mandalorian and their quarry. You grimace, and suck in a breath—
Before a word even leaves your mouth he interrupts with a steady, unwavering;
“No.”
Your brows furrow. “I didn’t even say anything!”
“I know what you were going to ask,” he huffs, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “I work alone.”
Ok, then. You didn’t want to resort to begging, but you’re kinda running out of options here. You take a steadying breath and plant yourself at the bottom of the ramp. “C’mon man. Look—I’ll let you take seventy percent of the cut and I can—“
“You’ll let me?” He repeats, the staticky tone of his voice dropping into an edge more cutting than broken transparisteel. The metal platting on the ramp vibrates from the weight of his step to move closer; Stars it takes every fucking inch of willpower to hold your ground. “You’re lucky if I let you leave with your life. Get lost.” 
Fuckfuckfuck—you should listen. You wanna fucking run for the hills and never look back in case he comes looking to purge your name from the kriffing galaxy. You clench your jaw and steel your nerves. Too bad—you’ve dug your heels so far into this empire of dirt and false bravado that your only way out is continuing to poke the sleeping bear until he snaps your spine or caves.
You have to crane your neck to glare into that dark strip of his vizor, seeing as he’s invited himself into your personal space. “No.”  
“No?” He mocks, now toe to toe with your scuffed up boots. 
Your teeth clench, a scalding flush burning through your cheeks and all the way down to your chest. He’s toying with you—finding amusement in your stubbornness and apparent lack of braincells for challenging him. “You don’t scare me.” 
The man hums, a deep purr that rumbles through his entire ribcage as he raises his gloved hand. You curse yourself for flinching because surely he’s about to crush your skull like a fucking grape, but no. All he does is fix your rumbled collar then pat your cheek.     
“I don’t need the extra baggage.”
“I’m not baggage,” you sneer, slapping his hand away. “I can handle myself.” 
“With an empty blaster?” He points out, tipping his head to the side. “Your parlor tricks won’t do you any good on this job.”
“I’m a good shot!” You sputter, placing your hands over you hips and mustering up your best glare. “W-when I have ammo…” 
“Right.”
Meeting Paz Vizsla, could have gone far better, to put it into the most simplest of words. Jagged and hard to settle into a routine around each other for the journey to Nar Shaddaa in a tiny, old, and cramped freighter ship. Most cycles you have to wedge yourself beside a cargo crate to sleep. In addition to that, how it’s able to break through the atmosphere let alone fly is beyond you—an entire mystery on its own.       
At least you’re able to sit in the spare seat inside the cockpit—one of the only places available to stretch your legs. The only problem is that it’s also where Paz Vizsla likes to lurk (well, not lurk—it’s his ship and it’s where he can comfortably fit but—to each their own). 
There’s a net of tension still woven between you—each interaction like tiptoeing over eggshells. Though, like all things, it becomes simpler. There’s not exactly any ongoing conversations—you don’t want to pry into a life you know nothing about—it’s not your business despite the cumulation of questions that linger in the back of your mind. You know when to take a hint—not every person is willing to indulge you about their livelihood, and surely not something as secretive and well guarded as the Mandalore.  
Familiarity is what you want to call it. Comfortable with each other’s presence with small talk speckled in throughout the never-ending vastness of hyperspace. Compared to the infinite turmoil in your life, slippery footholds and uncertainty—Paz Vizsla is steady. In a way— predictable and safe in the confines of this ship.       
You’d even go as far as to label him kind, a friend maybe—if you look past the grumpiness and rather poor taste in corny jokes. You know it’s stupid, no doubt stemming from the deep ache of loneliness that comes hand in hand with staking it out on your own in the galaxy; but you can’t help but wish that this could be a new normal. Not some once in a lifetime thing where you both part ways, fade into the recesses of memory and leave it at that. 
If things go well—and rarely do they on a job—maybe you’d pluck up enough courage to ask him if you could stay. There’s no harm in it…right?
                                                 -=-=-=-
Well—the cynical part of you was right.
It did end up in a fiery shit show. 
Turns out the stupid quarry you’d been tracking excelled in long range weaponry. A former marksman for the Empire to be exact. Guess that tidbit of information wasn’t pertinent. A need to know sorta thing, if you will. 
You feel the molten bolt of plasma connect with your side before your ears pick up the sound of a weapon firing, like a crack of lighting in the empty alleyway. And before your body even connects with the duracrete, Paz is returning fire. A brilliant neon red against the hazy blur of shadowy buildings.  
Kinda weird how knocking the back of your head hurts worse than the literal blaster wound burned into your side. Shock maybe. Or the heat from the plasma cauterized each veins and artery it tore through and ate away at flesh and nerves. Hm…          
You’re sprawled in a wet pool of something—either your own blood or a puddle of stagnant gutter water and damn—you’re wearing your favorite shirt.
It doesn’t matter at this point…
You’re choking on your own air from the big ass hole blasted into your diaphragm, so to say things are looking grim is an understatement.  
Nar Shaddaa isn’t your first choice to kick the can on, but hey—not everyone gets the luxury of dying on Naboo. And just as you’re ready to slip away into that sweet, sweet abyss, it seems your fellow armored friend has other plans. 
The beskar is freezing against your cheek after he deadlifts you off the duracrete—you remember that plain as day. That and the hushed rumble of Paz’s voice insisting you save your dwindling supply of air instead of apologizing to him—or ordering you to stay alive for kriff’s sake. It’s impossible to argue with Paz—like trying to bite through durasteel, and while those beckoning tendrils of eternal slumber are mighty tempting, you cling to your life with all the strength you have left. After all, inconveniencing someone with a corpse is such a party foul to the highest degree.    
The rest is muddled—like dredging up silt and clay in a murky river that just leaves you with a pounding headache between your eyes. It’s a terrible mess of pain and bouts of temporary consciousness, mistaken with fever dreams and yup—more pain. The only consistent is Paz—hovering nearby or settled beside you—through thick and thin as you heal. 
There’s no solid reason your brain can conjure as to why he brought you to the Covert—it’d have been easier to just dump you at the nearest hospital and be done with it. You’re not his responsibility and you’re too afraid to ask what it means. Too many possibilities—too many answers you aren’t in the mood to face or untwist.     
And so you leave it be, set aside for another time—which brings you to the present day…        
You’re splayed over your little makeshift cot, feet propped up on a spare pillow as you scour through a cheesy Coruscanti gossip magazine. It’s years old—the only piece of entertainment you could find other than a weapon in the Covert. And seeing as a massive hole had been blasted through your ribcage, picking up the clever art of throwing vibroblades or shooting targets to pass the time was out of the question.   
Even if you’d rather fall into a Sarlaac pit than stare at the wall for hours on end yet again—it hasn’t been all that bad. It’d taken weeks before you regained enough strength to sit up on your own, let alone walk—and walking is putting it lightly. It was more of a stiff legged shuffle better suited on a two hundred year old woman seconds from disintegrating into dust at the mere hint of a breeze.  
Not to mention—your right lung was all but shredded. Ripped apart from the plasma bolt and miraculously reconstructed by a more than questionable bacta tank, hopeful thoughts and well wishes. To this very day you still sound like a broken air filter. 
Eh.    
Could be worse. 
At least you aren’t dead. 
Just another setback that adds on the growing pile of reasons why never to leave the Covert. Free food, free board and mild entertainment to top it off. Paz had stayed at your bedside for the most part while you recovered—stuck with babysitting your sorry ass until you regained a bit of mobility. The times Paz hadn’t been at your side to stave off the boredom, it was up to you to find your own fun. 
Snooping is what Paz had labeled it—but you saw it more as an adventure. You met Din Djarin exploring (lost is what you actually were) in the dimly lit underbelly of Nevarro, after all. Yes, you may have scared the ever loving shit out of the poor guy and yes, he may have singed off your brows with a five foot jet of fucking fire—but hey. No one got hurt.        
And you made a new friend. Sorta…Din is difficult to read, subtler in his soft spoken words and quiet demeanor. A bit like a skittish loth-cat at the start, but nowadays it’s not uncommon to find him lounging in the same space as you or hovering over your shoulder, awfully curious in whatever it is you choose to do. Like Paz, Din isn’t overly fond of sharing much information about himself but he never complains after you regale tales of your own vastly fascinating past. He seems interested enough—tilts his head a tick to the right when you speak to indicate that yes, he’s listening despite the unforgiving dark line of his visor.      
There are others in the Covert too—some so elusive you have a hard time believing they exist. Shadows of what they once were before the rise of the Empire. And so, you count yourself lucky that you’d been introduced to two others—Aeris Fenn, a young man nearly as tall as a Wookie, and a woman named Ives Arrey; her armor a flashy green—damn near florescent in the light. 
They’re nice enough company. Aeris is a chatterbox, his wit sharper than a blade but lacking in any forethought before he speaks. Ives is the far opposite—rolls each sentence in her mouth before she voices it, but in no way is she angelic. Maker—you’d bet your entire left asscheek she’s behind each bad decision and silly shenanigans Aeris sticks his nose into. He never learns—not after a harsh chiding or cuff around the helmet from Paz or the Armorer could dampen is childlike enthusiasm or steer him away from repeating the same mistake over and over.  
Though if you read one more kriffing sentence of this garbage magazine you’re about to invite chaos himself to entertain you. Good thing too because just as you sit up to find the red armored Mandalorian—Paz rounds the corner and steps into your little broom closet that hardly passes for a room. 
“Paz!” You greet, tossing the magazine over your shoulder. “Please tell me we’ll be doing something interesting or else I might start ripping my hair out. Or maybe commit a heinous crime—haven't decided yet.”      
Paz grunts and shakes his head. “You’ll be doing neither. But today we’ll be sparing—hopefully that will curve your boredom.”
You scrunch up your face. “Sparring? Er, no thanks—I choose life.” 
“You breathe funny since your injury,” he says, jabbing a finger between your ribs. “And all you’ve been doing lately is laying around.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” you sneer, tucking your arms over your chest. “Didn’t realize I was supposed to be running laps with half a lung.”
“It’s like stretching a muscle, you need to gain your strength back.” He retorts. “This will be good for you.” 
You groan and flop back into bed. “I don’t wanna. I was pretty much dead like three cycles ago—cut me some slack, man.”
There’s a brief silence as if he’s mulling over your words, but he’s stubborn. You crane your head to look at him as he says your name with a deep sigh attached to it.   
“Truthfully, I’m surprised you’ve survived this long.” He says it quietly, fragile even, like he’s still expecting you to tip over and die on the spot. You very well might.  
You huff. “Wow. Thanks, Paz.” 
You feel his heavy stare through the helmet. “What happened to you that night was a mistake. It wasn’t preventable but the least I can do is teach you basic selfdefense.”  
You gripe out your complaints but you know you’ve been beat—and well, a bit of your agreement is based on guilt. 
Damn it.  
                                                     -=-=-=-
It’s weird to see Paz without his heavy duty gear—like seeing him naked or a crab without a shell. The only piece he continues to wear is his helmet and padded gloves and under clothes, but it’s still weird. Strange enough that it shocks you tongue into remaining still instead of bitching about this. 
He leads you to a wing of the Covert you’ve yet to discover and ushers you through the doorway. The floor is padded, a bit smaller than you expected and already occupied by none other than Aeris Fenn. 
It’s a whole other kriffing shock to the head seeing him without the plates and layers of fabric and beskar too. The armor makes him bulkier—fuller and much more intimidating. Now, with only his black underclothes on, Aeris could be the spitting image of a sentient tree. Willowy limbs that stick out like branches as he stretches on the padded mat. He lazily swings his head around as you greet him, his face still covered by the black beskar painted with streaks of red. 
“So you choose sparring over knife throwing?” Aeris snorts. “And to think I thought of you as a friend.” 
“You think I chose to be here?” You say, grumpy and still upset at the choice of activity. Really, a brisk walk around the Covert would’ve been fine.
Aeris shrugs. “Ah, and I see you’ve roped in my favorite vod. Tch, he uses his fists instead of his words to teach. I wish you luck—you’ll need it.”      
You open your mouth to retort but Paz beats you to it. 
“Leave.” 
“I’ve just arrived, actually,” Aeris scoffs, folding his torso over his other leg to stretch. “Perhaps you could reschedule. After all—our guest is quite free most days.” 
Welp—you’re perfectly fine with that. Problem solved. 
You spin on your heel and make a break for it but Paz snatches your wrist and pulls you back to his side. “Aeris.”  
“Paz,” Aeris mocks, tipping his helmet to the side. 
Paz exhales, a long, tired sound and grovels out another plea in clipped Mando’a. Aeris languidly stands and brushes off imaginary dust from the front of his pants. “Sorry, what was that? I don’t understand your accent.” 
“Boy—“
“No, no, it’s alright.” Aeris sighs, waving his hand in a mopey display as if he were told that his birthday party were canceled for the fifth year in a row. “I’d have trouble speaking too if my enormously thick head were cooped up in that little bucket of yours all day.”  
You wince. 
In the time you’ve known Paz Vizsla, he’s never been one to launch into rash decisions fueled by anger—he lets it simmer and build like an oncoming storm over the ocean. Devastating once it reaches land.
Aeris bobs his head and inspects his black leather glove, picking at a loose thread on the inseam over the thumb. He clicks his tongue. “Or'dinii—you’re going to kill her.”  
Your offended scoff is ignored as Paz steps forward; jutting his chin up to even out the few inches Aeris holds over the man. “You still haven’t learned to shut your mouth, boy.” 
The tension surges and crackles like a volt of electricity through the air—unresolved and ready to ignite with the sparking embers of Paz’s growing irritation. It’s not a fight Aeris Fenn will win. He’s volatile and hotheaded—but his expertise is in long range weaponry. Precise, deadly and swift—not whatever this little pissing match is heading towards.    
Aeris clicks his tongue as Paz digs a fist into the black fabric of his shirt. Paz yanks him forward, the metallic clink of their helmets colliding an unpleasant scrape that pierces your eardrums. Aeris snarls out sharpened words in Mando’a as his willowy fingers shoot up to curl beneath the lip of Paz’s helmet. 
In the blink of an eye, Paz lifts Aeris up by his collar and launches him across the room like he weighs nothing more than a couple of down pillows. His helmet meets the wall with a resounding clank, chipping some of the red paint outlining the visor. Ouch. 
Like a kicked dog, Aeris clambers to his feet, still dazed and swaying and for a fearful second you think he’ll retaliate. But with whatever braincells he happens to possess today—he instead spits out a venomous curse that even yourself would hesitate to repeat. He leaves without another word, bristling with rage. 
Your flash Paz a questioning stare. “The hell was that about?” 
Paz waves it away with an irritated grunt. “His heart is in the right place but he is young. Aeris doesn’t understand his place in the Covert yet and I doubt he will for years to come.” 
You frown. “Poor guy…” 
Paz mutters something under his breath. “Enough distractions. We’ve wasted enough time already.”
“Y’know…I think that’s enough excitement for today. I think I’ll be going now—“ Your last ditch attempt at weaseling out of this is quickly thwarted the moment you turn your back.  
You wheeze as the heel of Paz’s palm shoves into your shoulder blade, the force of it sending you stumbling to the ground. “Paz—“
“Go on. Hit me,” he orders. You squeak, narrowly avoiding the well aimed kick that skims the top of your scalp. 
You scramble to your feet, skirting out of range of the oncoming right hook. “So you attack me instead?” 
“How do you expect to catch quarries who are bigger than you?” He presses. You hiss as the points of his knuckles dig into the meat of your shoulder. 
You dance out of reach and rub your arm, a dull throb flaring up in the muscle. “I dunno—electrocute them?”
“Not if they take you by surprise.” 
You screech as his knuckles skim your cheek. Adrenaline pierces you veins and you wildly throw a flaky punch that wouldn’t even impress a toddler. He catches your fist with ease, his entire hand dwarfing your clenched fingers. “You can do better than that.” 
You snarl and struggle to rip your hand back. “I’m a scrapper. I don’t fight.”
“No,” he retorts. You fall onto your ass as he abruptly lets go of your hand. “You’re a bounty hunter.” 
You roll your eyes. “Hardly—why can’t I just stay here?”
Although there’s nothing to see with that swatch of black covering his eyes, you can certainly feel the look he’s giving you. A deep sigh hisses through the vocoder. “You can stay here—“
A triumphant smile splits across your face—
“—but not without contributing where it’s due.”
You puff up your cheeks and let out a dismayed stream of air. “Booo—lame.”
He sighs again and helps you off the floor. “Even if you leave the Guild, what I’m teaching you is helpful.”
“Yeah, yeah,” you say. “I’ll give you a call after I use your invaluable skills to beat up some thug.”
Paz ignores your comment and turns on his heel. “Let’s go through it again. This time use your front two knuckles instead of your whole fist.”
As your eyes land over the stretch of tight fighting fabric over his back an idea pops into your head. It’s a petty move but getting a punch in is fruitless—like trying to beat up a brick wall. You don’t fancy a broken hand and your knuckles are already bruised and swollen to the point where it’s hard to bend them. 
And so, without any forethought and with a running head start, you launch yourself onto him, your arms coiling around his neck. It does the job—takes him by surprise and makes him tip to the right. 
Aha! Yes!
Your reign of victory is short lived, however—
He latches onto your forearms strung around his neck and yanks. And much in the same way he threw Aeris like a sack of potatoes—you’re no different. For a short stretch of time that feels kriffing endless; you soar through the air, your directional whereabouts violently ripped out beneath you and equally nauseating in the same breath. 
Why you ever agreed to this—you don’t know.   
Your shoulder blade connects with the mat first, leaving behind a dull sting as you roll and tumble with uncontrollable momentum. Oh, yeah—you’ll feel that in the morning. 
Groaning, you thank the Maker that your body eventually settles into a miserable little pile of limbs and pain. But, it seems whatever higher power that lingers in the edges of the galaxy hasn’t decided to put you out of your misery just yet. 
A bulky shadow blocks out the dim lighting overhead, and for a brief anxiety ridden moment you’re afraid it’s Paz. You roll onto your back with a pathetic groan, a beg for mercy on the tip of your tongue—but as your eyes flutter open they’re met with an entirely different man. 
Din Djarin looms over you, his head cocked to the side as you blink in dumbfounded bewilderment. Ah, hell— 
You swallow, a furious heat bitting at your cheeks. “Uh…fine weather we’re having…”
“We’re inside,” he states with a brief glance up to the ceiling. 
You purse your lips. “Huh.”
With a pensive hum he offers his hand, you sigh and roll over, accepting his gloved hand. He hoists you up easily and adjusts your rumpled collar. “You ok?”
“Pfft, yeah,” you groan, rubbing your throbbing shoulder. “Never better.”
The low grumble of your name is a cross between disbelief and irritation. Din jerks his head, his attention zeroing in on Paz. “Are you trying to kill her?” 
“She isn’t made of glass.” 
“She is still recovering—“
Normally you’d intervene, but their bickering is tiring and it gives you the excuse to lie down. By the time one of them caves you’ve counted exactly one hundred and twelve weird ceiling stains. They should get that checked out.  
“Very well,” Paz snarls, cutting through your wandering thoughts. “You teach her.” 
Din scoffs, his shoulders drawn tight as he stomps over to your splayed out self. “Get up.”
“Geez, fine,” you grumble, not in the mood to test his patience further. “Since you asked so nicely.”
Later he’ll no doubt apologize but right now? He has to prove a point. Din cuts right to it, moves in close to place your clenched fists in the right stance and nudges at your feet until they’re a bit wider than hip distance. 
“You have to get in close with a bigger opponent,” he says, stepping into your space until your fists are close enough to touch his chest. “We don’t have much range here—easier to break our guard too.” 
“Right. And how would you suggest I do that?”
“You’re always beating me at cards.” Din says, tipping his head to the side. “You have a clever mind. Use it.” 
“But I always cheat.” You point out, dropping your guard to swat at a stray hair.   
He catches your wrists and returns them to where they ought to be. “Quick enough to get away with it.” 
You make a noise of uncertainty but do as you're told. Din takes a couple steps back and with a rough order you begin. 
He’s faster than Paz—bats at your guard in quick bursts and steps away when you attempt to hit back. It’s a dance almost—somehow elegant in its brutality of bruises and flashes of pain as you move around one another. Compared to Din, Paz is almost clumsy but unpredictable. Din—despite the rapidness of his attacks and evasiveness, becomes predictable.
He steps to to left—you follow. He rocks onto his toes to jab his fist forward and that’s where you find a break. Punching Din’s helmet won’t do you any good but catching the juncture of his shoulder with your elbow is completely feasible. Too bad that you’re not the only one with a clever mind.        
Din uses the momentum of your attack to catapult you to the ground—his own body rolling with you in order to capture you in a headlock of sorts. This sucks. After this you’ll never be setting foot in this Maker forsaken room again. 
Din tightens his elbow that’s looped around your throat as you squirm and flail, trapped against his chest. He grunts as your elbow digs into his ribs but holds steady and snakes his free arm across your front, pinning your limbs to your body in an unbreakable vice. All mobility is cut off as his knee pushes between your thighs, locking your leg out into an uncomfortable and frankly quite awkward angle. 
Inhaling a shaky breath, you arch as the crown of his helmet skims along the curve of your throat; the bite of beskar frigid and startling against your flushed skin. You can see his visor out of the corner of your eye; glittering and dark like the polished obsidian on Black Spire and endless like the greedy maw of a black hole. 
Your breath hitches as he shifts and curls his head closer to your ear. His voice rumbles low and deep through his chest and vibrates against the delicate cartilage. “Yield.” 
However much your pride wrestles with the sensible part of your brain, it’s all for naught as you jerk your head in defeat.  
In retrospect you should’ve said something—used your voice or made some kinda sound because suddenly Din’s forearm digs alarmingly hard into your windpipe. He read the stuttered jerk of your head as another pitiful act of defiance but no. Nope. 
Here you are—asphyxiating.   
Not exactly what you had in mind, being strangled by a Mandalorian and all—but a chokehold where you could very well die was not it. 
Fuzzy darkness begins to shade the corners of your vision, lightheadedness and a curious warmth that prickles down your spine settling low in your belly. A raspy gasp manages to slip through your blocked off airway, and stars why does this feel good?   
“Din—”
Paz’s sharp bark is distant above the ringing in your ears and it all stops.
You gulp in air that burns your throat like refined fire whiskey—hunched over the mat as a large palm rubs soothing circles over your upper back. You cough and roll over, sounding like a dying animal run over by a speeder then hit with a spiked club to polish it off. 
You’re quickly herded into Paz’s arms and pulled into his lap. Still wheezing and attempting to recover lost oxygen, whatever Din is trying to say translates into an indiscernible hum against the ringing in your ears.  
“I’m fine,” you mutter, though neither of them care to listen. Like bristling wolves, snapping at each other’s heels.  
“Apologize to her,” there’s not so much as a centimeter of room to argue. “Now.”           
It’s nice of Paz you suppose—defending your honor and what not, but you’re not a vengeful person. It was an honest mistake and you want to explain that so Din quits looking like a kicked puppy, yet the sudden touch over your ankle stops you. All the times Din has initiated contact it’d been a friendly pat to your shoulder or ruffling you hair, and while touching your ankle isn’t exactly scandalous it’s certainly an odd place to put your hand on. 
Your fingers clutch Paz’s shirt as you eye the man lingering at the bottom of your feet, his gloved thumb unconsciously rubbing patterns into the exposed skin between your boot and your pant leg. “Cyare—I’m sorry.” 
You blink and lick your lips. Interesting. “I-I don’t know what that word means.”
His hand inches higher, resting on the swell of your calf. “Sweetheart…darling…loved one—“ 
There’s a shift—a dark undercurrent that none of you should be dipping your toes into. There’s a million and one things to say or do to sever this at the root, but are you going to? Nah. 
Din’s thumb now rests over your knee, goosebumps following in his wake. “Should I keep going?” 
It too hot—stuffy with both of their heavy stares locked on your flushed face. You squirm and glance up at Paz who only offers an impassive stare. Great.   
“I can make it up to you,” Din continues, his hand stationary—a warm weight even through the fabric of your pants. “If you let me.” 
Your mouth feels drier than the desert on Jakku. This…nothing good could come out of what Din is hinting at. This is uncharted territory—launching yourself into the great unknown without any idea of what’ll fester and grow if you agree. 
It’s not like it hasn’t crossed your mind—it’s just…it’s never been both of them at the same time. These men are short-tempered, an open flame to jet fuel with deeply seated ire woven into the very fabric of their beings. You’ve barely scratched the surface on the inner workings of their mutual hostility, but you’re bright enough to question if this will make it worse. Tinder and brittle twigs feeding and enabling the hungry flames of rivalry to spiral and consume with chaotic brilliance of a dying star—
But, oh—
Isn’t it worth taking the risk? 
You suck in a grounding breath and slowly extend your leg that Din touches, gingerly skimming the toe of your shoe along the inseam of his inner thigh. “H-how would you…make it up to me?”
Din preens at your answer and shuffles closer, lifting your legs so that they rest in his lap. Devotion drips off his words like a fine liquor as he toys with the laces on your boots. “Anything—say it and it’s yours.”    
Sparks of molten heat race down your spine and metastasize in your lower belly, spreading through each vein and artery like a some sort of invasive ivy. You spare a look up at Paz as he shifts.      
“Go ahead, girl,” Paz assures. “Answer him.” 
It’s an unspoken, buzzing sort of thing like the static air before a storm, crackling and surging with pent up energy. You all know the implications of what’s to come—but it’s your words, quiet and steady that irons that nail into your coffin.
“Take me like you mean it.” 
The next few moments pass in a dizzying blur, a mess of anticipation as your shoes are yanked off, your pants following soon after and tossed into some unknown corner of the room. Paz helps you out of your shirt, a shiver wracking through your body from the chill, leaving you bare save for your underthings. Yet the warmth that seeps through his shirt and his hands that linger over your ribcage do a lovely job at making up for the cold.
Din shuffles closer and brings his fingers up to cup the side of your face, lowering his head to rest the crown of his helmet on your forehead. “Wanna touch you.” 
Your breath hitches as Paz’s hands sweep up your torso, cupping and kneading your breasts. “Y-you already are touching me, Din." 
Paz snorts as the rough leather of his gloves scrape over your skin and unhook your bindings. You hardly hear Din over your own whine as Paz rolls your hardened nipples between a forefinger and thumb. 
“I want to feel you—without the gloves,” Din clarifies, fighting to keep your attention on him. “Will you let me?”  
Maker that shouldn’t even be a question. You moan out your approval, delighted that both of them decide to slip off the padded fabric. Din touches your bare thigh the same moment Paz returns his hands to your tits and it’s exhilarating. The rasp of their bare palms against your flesh is addicting—something so foreign and warm compared to their usual armor and thick layered clothing. 
You arch into Paz’s hand as it curls around the base of your throat, a tentative pressure but still heavy. “You’d let us do anything, wouldn’t you? Needy little thing.”
“Yes,” you croak, already debauched and falling apart at the seams. “Anything.”
You’re all too happy to fade away in the embrace of the larger man but the other participant is far from letting that slide. Din grabs your hand, guiding it towards the front of his trousers, the drawstrings already loose and easy to pull aside. He groans and twitches as your fingertips flirt along his navel, then curl over the waistband, tugging his pants the rest of the way down to pool around his knees. 
You reach for the already impressive outline of his cock pressing against his boxers, but Paz cupping your cunt through your underwear just before you touch Din is distracting. You gasp and arch as Paz digs the heel of his palm against your clit, electrifying ecstasy zipping down your spine with each touch. 
There’s a twinge of guilt after Din huffs and drags your limp wrist back to his cock, this time encouraging you to palm him by guiding your actions with his own hand until you lazily oblige. Din’s quiet grunts, gravely against the vocoder do nothing but throw more jet fuel to the fire inside your belly. The growing urge to actually touch him gnaws and corrodes the forefront of your brain. With a firm yank his boxers are quick to join his trousers and Maker—
Fuck—
Will he even fit?
Din is thick, rosy brown and flushed at the tip and beginning to curl towards his bellybutton. A bead of liquid shines at the tip, dribbling down the underside as he wraps his fist around the base of his length. He gives himself a languid stroke before he, once again, reminds your hand of what it’s supposed to be doing. Din is searing in your palm, molten and stiffening to hardened steel in your grip.   
“You look so fuckin’ pretty like this,” Din hisses as his head rolls back onto his shoulders. “S-so pretty holding my cock.”
Your desperation tears at your insides, insatiable and Maker— you wanna taste him. You want to hear every little stuttered moan and feel each twitch of his hips as he claims your mouth as his own.    
But before you’re able to ask Din if he’d be willing to fuck your throat, Paz grips your knee and slings your leg over his thigh, murmuring praise as he peels off your underwear. Paz’s hand snakes down to your pussy and runs two thick fingers through your already slick cunt, then delicately parts your folds. 
It’s like a fucking bomb going off as his thumb grazes over your swollen clit. His forearm locks tight around your waist, keeping you in place as you arch and tremble. Paz is feather light and teasing, as he strokes over the little bundle of nerves in a painstakingly slow rhythm. 
“Paz—“ 
He nudges your cheek with his helmet and chuckles. “You’re so sensitive, vaar’ika. Such lovely noises too.”  
Paz trades in his light touches for using his two fingers instead. They form a relaxed ‘v’ shape, trapping your clit in between the digits as he massages in a steady up and down motion. You cry out, every nerve shocked and flooded with saccharine pleasure, shoving you so treacherously close to that precarious edge of release.      
You have no fucking chance as a different set of fingers, leaner in length but just as bulky, carefully prod at your entrance. Din’s pointer finger slides into your cunt, quickly adding a second as your core clenches and stretches for him. The dual sensations over your clit and Din’s fingers steadily pumping and curling inside you send you hurling into that dazzling white-hot pleasure.     
Throwing your head back, you cry out—a jumbled mess of their names or just nonsense— pleasure crackling out from your core and all the way down your legs. Your cunt tightens like a vice around Din’s digits, your legs twitching as your high dips into prickly overstimulation. You whine, and swat at Paz’s hand, Din pulling out his own fingers a moment later and wiping your wetness on the inside of your thigh. 
Your head rests in the crook of Paz’s shoulder as your breath fans across the side of his helmet, fogging up the metal where the blue paint is chipped and scraped away. The shirt he wears smells a bit like sweat but the underlying scent of him is comforting—worn leather and something crisp, like fresh laundry. You don’t mean for the words to slip out—
You know better than that, but everything feels muddled and silly and, and, and—
“I wish I could kiss you.”  
It’s like dousing ice cold water on a pile of smoldering coals. A silence, petrifying and like the inhale before jumping off a cliff and into a rocky sea, ensues. Stupid, stupid, stupid—  
Paz shatters the fragile suspense with a rich laugh that burns away all the icy worry making itself a home in your ribcage. He moves his arm up, his fingers gripping your jaw to fix your gaze onto the other Mandalorian. “You want his mouth on you too?”  
You whimper and nod, but it isn’t enough. 
“Use your voice vaar’ika,” Paz hums, pressing the crown of his helmet against your cheek. “Tell us want you want.” 
“I-fuck—” Paz’s fingertips sneak up your torso, rough callous catching deliciously on your skin. “I wan’t your mouth on me. B-both of you.” 
Paz chuckles and releases his hold on your chin. “You’ll have to be blindfolded, sweet girl.”
Din scoffs, a harsh crackle through the vocoder. “Like she’d want to see your face anyway.”
“Please,” you mewl, turning your head to curl into Paz’s neck. It’s not ideal, but it’s a sacrifice you’re willing to make. “I don’t care. I need—“
“Patience, little one,” Paz purrs, rubbing up and down your bare sides in a soothing manner. All it does is stoke the flames. “You’ll get what you want.” 
Paz shifts, reaching for your abandoned shirt and stars—
You can feel his cock, firmer then tempered durasteel and poking into your lower back. Oh, hell—these men are going to ruin you. 
You’re nudged forward, your vision going dark once your shirt is securely tied around your head. The knot traps a few hairs that pull sharp against your scalp but the measly pain is worth it. Oh so worth it.  
“Is it too tight?” You hear Din ask, concern lacing his gravely vocals. 
You wave your hand in dismissal. “S’fine.”
“Cant see anything either, right?” 
You squirm, your patience spreading thin. “Din, please.”
“Fine.” There’s no bite to his tone and under different circumstances you’d have more composure. Acknowledge that they’re putting their religion, their whole being into your hands—a fragile trust that could so easily be shattered. 
Your ears pick up their subtle movements, their helmets landing onto the thin mat with soft thunks. With bated breath you wait for them to jump into action, seize every spare moment to taste your skin and breathe the same air. But—
“You need a haircut, vod.”
“And you need to shave.” Retorts Din with bitter indignation. 
“It’s hardly even stubble.” He chortles. You giggle and twist away as he scrapes his prickly cheek up and down your neck. “Besides—she likes it.” 
There’s another lull, and with the blindfold everything is amplified—the quick and quiet breathing of Din on your right and the slide of fabric against skin as Paz shifts. Your attention is captured by Din’s bare palm, warm and calloused like weathered leather left out in the afternoon sun. He caresses the outside of your thigh in smooth, longing strokes, enraptured by the softness of your skin. You whimper and let your leg fall open, exposing more of your thigh for his curious exploration. 
The sudden touch on your cheek is jarring. You know Paz is there—it’s not an easy thing to forget the solid chest you’re leaning against but it’s hard to focus. Difficult to settle on one thought before it slips away like grains of sand between a clenched fist. Paz’s touch is heavier than Din’s, ambitious and greedy but…mindful. Even as his fingers spread along your jaw and drag you into a deep, mouthwatering kiss. It’s…stars—   
There’s nothing that can describe this. No word that could ever hold a candle up to the way his lips, plush and soft, move against yours. His nose brushes against your cheek as he tilts his head and deepens the kiss, his warm tongue sliding against the seam of your bottom lip. 
You whine and bury your hand into his hair as Paz groans, a low rumble in his throat. You wonder what color it is, but carding your fingers through the curls atop his head suffices for now.
Your curiosity is abruptly ended as Din’s hand snakes around your forearm. You’re forcibly yanked away, only to be met with another pair of lips. Din murmurs an apology at the sting of his teeth bumping into your upper lip, but the pain is hardly the first thing on your mind. 
Din’s kiss is devouring—  
Scalding and bright—the galaxy, a thousand suns, all there ever will be and all that ever was. The way his lips move against yours is a devastatingly sharp contrast to the steady, syrupy sweet kiss Paz offers. Desperate and eager to surround you in his own arms—steal away any lingering thought and replace it with him. Din Djarin—  
You gasp as Din’s teeth nibble and pull on your bottom lip, only a moment before he surges closer, wrapping his hand around your jaw to hold it open as he licks deep into your mouth. Breaking for air, Din tangles his fingers into your hair at the base of your neck and yanks, baring the column of your throat. His travels down, the tender kisses morphing into teasing nips and lingering sucks that’ll turn into tender bruises in the morning. 
Din hovers over your breasts, his heated breath and cooling saliva the catalyst to the goosebumps that rush over your skin. He lightly tugs on your nipple using his teeth, then plants a sweet kiss over your sternum.   
“Can I taste you?” Din murmurs, his lips ghosting over your flesh. “Maker—wanna put my mouth on you.” 
“Din—“ A different set of lips latching onto the juncture of your neck and hijacks your train of thought. Wipes your mind clean until Paz is the sole thing you can consciously focus on. 
Paz laves his tongue over the shell of your ear and urges you to lean back against him once more. Your nose scrapes against his stubble as you tuck your head into the crook of his neck, his hips lazily rolling his hardened cock into your backside. 
“Or…” Paz rumbles, capturing your hand and interlacing your fingers with his. You marvel at the sheer size of his palm—astounded still when he leads his and your hands to palm his cock. “I could give you this. Fuck your pretty little cunt until you’re screaming for me.”
It’s a punch to the gut. Why the fuck do you have to choose? You squirm as Din points his tongue over your nipple then sucks it into his mouth. 
Working through the fog in your head, the answer is clearer than fucking crystal. Because who in their right mind would turn down a Mandalorian’s request to eat you out? Not you, that’s for sure. “Din—want your mouth.”
Din huffs in triumph and slips between your legs that part to accommodate his broad shoulders, leaving no patch of bare skin untouched and worshiped. You shiver as his tongue circles around your bellybutton then retreats. Din settles his head beside your knee and mouths a kiss there.  
You whine his name and buck your hips, heart beating wildly in your ears. The teasing is unbearable and, stars—if he doesn’t start now— 
He nibbles on the inside of your thigh, laving his warm tongue over each mark he leaves behind, buffering the sting of his teeth. Din snake his hands under your ass, hooking your knees over his shoulders as he heaves your cunt closer to his mouth. Din’s thumbs part your soaking pussy, his breath hot fanning over your cunt. His tongue his scalding—like liquid velvet as he dips the tip of his tongue from the base of your slit all the way up to your clit. 
Din sucks on the little bundle of nerves, rolling his tongue until you’re crying out, molten pleasure zipping through you. He grunts as your fingers tangle into his hair—fuck. Fuck, you need more.   
Arching into his mouth, all thoughts are obliterated; nothing but the warmth of his tongue, and his lips, devouring you as if he were a man seconds from death and you’re his saving grace. That frenzied desperation lingers on the edges of his movements like he’s afraid you’ll fade into smoke—but you’re not going anywhere. Not even a million credits could convince you to push Din’s head away. 
He sinks two fingers into your clenching hole and curls his fingers, stroking and curling his fingertips to make you sing. Zeros in on that little spot that causes the involuntary twitches of your leg and wrenches embarrassing, high pitched mewls that fill the room. You’re careening towards your high, the sensitivity of your last orgasm amping up the influx of pleasure. 
“Shit—Din. Close—I’m so close,” you gasp, pulling his hair tight enough that you know it must hurt. He makes no sign that it does, just groans and buries his tongue into your dripping hole, licking alongside his fingers that shovel more of your wetness into his mouth. 
Your release unfurls through your body like sticky molasses—smoldering embers that seep into each limb until they’re heavier than lead. Fuck—it’s so hard to think and at this rate your brain is as good as gone.   
You pay only a fraction of attention to Din as he kisses his way back up your body and lands a final one over your lips. His thumb grazes over your chin, his gravelly words of praise cutting through some of that foggy haze, how good you were, how fucking delicious you tasted when you came on his tongue. You taste your own arousal on his mouth as he noses your cheek and captures your lips in another kiss.           
“Are you done?” Paz asks dryly, much too barbed to be thrown your way. You groan when Paz jostles your limp body as he hoists you back into his lap.
“Just starting, actually,” Din quips. “Why don’t you hand her back over? I’ve got some more things I wanna try.” 
Paz scoffs and secures a heavy arm around your middle. “Greed will get you nowhere.” 
“Neither will your arrogance.” 
“Shut up—both of you,” you interrupt. Your voice is raw and choppy but it does the job. “Just fuck me already.”
For now their little spat is sidelined—it’s not worth ripping off that bandage of a temporary truce. There’s a chaste moment of quiet, like they’re considering tearing into each other’s throats instead, but with a touch to Paz’s thigh the standoff fizzles out. 
“We need to work on your manners,” Paz suggests, curling his large, calloused hand around your neck in a loose hold. “I believe it’s please fuck me.” 
Maybe if you weren’t practically a pile of brainless goo, you’d argue. See how far you can push—though this time you fold. “Please fuck me. P-please—I need it.” 
Seemingly satisfied with your answer; Paz wedges a hand between your bodies to grip his cock and run the tip through your folds, soaked from you own wetness and Din’s saliva. The head of his member nudges at your entrance, and wether it’s his size or the fact you can’t see anything—you panic. 
Your hand shoots out, nails harpooning into the meat of his forearm. “W-wait—you’re too b-big.”  
Paz freezes and moves you up his lap and presses a kiss over you hairline. “We can stop. Just say—“
“N-no, I’m fine,” you assure, planting an apologetic peck on his stubbled jaw. Stopping is the last thing you want to do—it was just…overwhelming. A sensory overload testing the very fringes of your being. “Go slow?”
You feel his head bob in compliance as he moves you back to where you’re hovering over his cock. You relax this time, not as many alarm bells clanging through your head as your cunt flutters around the fat tip and then that glorious, first thick inch. Paz’s thumb bumps over your throbbing clit, coaxing your pussy to take him further. 
“Yeah, that’s it vaar’ika,” he grunts, his breath fanning over your neck in quick pants. “Taking my cock so fucking well. So nice and pretty.”
Your pussy flutters, fresh waves of arousal hot and burning.You nearly keel over when Paz starts shallowly rocking his hips, easing your body the rest of the way down his length until the back of your thighs touch his. Maker—how the hell is he all the way inside? You can feel him in your fucking guts—         
“See?” Paz purrs. He sucks a bruise into the meat of your shoulder and pushes his palm against your lower stomach, making the fit even tighter. “Fits fucking perfect.”
The noise your cunt makes pulling out and the debauched moan that filters through his vocal chords is obscene. If anyone where to walk by, well—it’s certainly not training that’s going on, for the better lack of words. 
Paz holds true to his word—keeps his pace limited to deep, languid thrusts that brush up against something that makes your whole body shake—like strumming a golden chord molded to a musician’s fingers. Fuck—he’s doing all the work too. Lifting you by the swell of your hips and pulling you down onto his cock with a rough buck of his hips. 
Abruptly, he slows to a gentle rocking—quick to lock you in place as you thrash and roll your hips. “Paz—n-no. Keep going. You n-need to—“
Paz silences your please with a wet, open mouthed kiss. “Our friend looks lonely. Why don’t you use that pretty mouth and suck his cock?” 
Din. 
You hear the man curse in Mando’a, probably some stab at Paz—
But with a pat to your outer thigh, you don’t need any more prompting—you’d give up your left hand to get a chance to suck him off. With the help of Paz, you’re eased onto your hands and knees, shocks of white-hot pleasure zipping through your core at the change of angle. Like this Paz is seated deeper inside, stabbing into each spot that makes you sing.    
Fuck—your arms are shaking—only able to hold yourself up for half a click and then you’re sinking face first into the floor, ass in the air as he fucks into you. Paz clicks his tongue and wraps his arm around your front, pulling you back up from your slumped position. 
“I told you to suck his cock, girl. Not take a nap.” Paz accentuates his words with heavy, well measured thrusts—the kind of force you know will leave your whole lower half throbbing and sore in the aftermath. 
You whine as Paz grabs a hold of your jaw, digging into the tender joints until your mouth falls open. “Good. Keep it like that.” 
Paz’s hand falls away, replaced by a softer touch. The pads of Din’s fingers hook under your chin, guiding and tempting you nearer to what rests between his legs, hot and heavy and large.       
You feel the tip of his cock, flushed and pulsing, rest on your bottom lip. You lap up the beads of sticky precum with kitten licks that morph into suckling the entire head. Din grunts out your name and tangles his hand into your hair as you tongue at the ridged frenulum. He never forces you to swallow down more of him—lets you cradle the first few inches in the wet warmth of your mouth and languidly roll the pad of your tongue around him. 
You want to take him deeper, let Din fuck your throat raw, but your jaw already aches. Your lips are pulled tight around his shaft, drool dribbling down your chin and landing on the mat below. You’re not sure if you could take more of him without the danger of your teeth catching or dislocating your jaw. So you manage like this—hollowing out your cheeks and and using the momentum of Paz’s thrusts to pleasure Din.          
It’s frustrating—it must be each time you let his cock slip out of your mouth to breathe or the fact Din isn’t able to fucking fit his cock into your mouth. Annoying that you aren’t able to think properly to help him out a bit ore when that said brain is being fucked straight outta you, put through the wringer and then body slammed onto duracrete. 
Din cups your cheek, strokes over your skin with his thumb and maneuvers himself out of your mouth. You whine and lean into his palm, his touch addictive like smoldering coals in the dead of winter.    
“You want me there instead of him?” Din purrs, using the tips of his index and middle fingers to tilt your chin and drag you into an open mouthed kiss. “Fuck you like you deserve.” 
The profane imagery of Din between your legs instead makes you clench tight. It only takes a couple seconds and a few more feverish kisses before you’re nodding to his request. Paz mutters a swear, hesitates, and reluctantly pulls out, leaving your cunt empty and aching with need. 
Din, however, is speedy—quick to hoard you to himself and yank your legs over his hips so that you’re draped on his lap. He jumps straight to the point, no fancy maneuver or drawn out teasing—just grabs the base of his cock, slides the flushed tip between your folds and sinks into your cunt. Even after your pussy had been stretched and molded around Paz’s length, you struggle to take Din’s entire cock into your aching center. It’s easier than Paz but, Maker—not by much. 
You whine, harpooning your fingernails into his shoulder once he bottoms out. Din snarls a curse and latches his teeth onto the juncture between your neck and shoulder, prickly pain shooting directly to your belly. “Fucking tight. H-how—fuck.”
There’s no time to adjust before Din sets a pace, harsh and desperate—his hands digging into the flesh of your ass for better leverage. Each roll of his hips borders erratic, taking his pleasure without thought—intent on reaching his own end before it could be yanked out from under him. Din’s staggered exhales below your ear are interlaced with subdued moans that start low in his ribcage then dip into a higher, airy pitch. A delicate sound you’ll guard closer to your chest than any secret you possess for the rest of your life—precious and yours. 
Din turns his head to steal a kiss. “You feel fuck—fucking good. Wanna feel you cum around me. S-squeezed so fucking hard around my fingers—“
You choke out a groan and feel your arousal begin to drip down your thighs—hear the thrusts of his cock into your cunt become shamefully wetter. Heat sizzles down each vertebrae in your spine, burning up each and every cell with the brilliance of a wildfire. Stars, this is gonna destroy you.      
Din’s hand sneaks between your bodies and rubs tight, little circles over you swollen clit. There’s no build up to your orgasm—just a blinding surge of blistering warmth that knocks you off your feet and steals away all the air left in your lungs. Your nails dig into Din’s back as you shake and grapple for a foothold in your own consciousness—the steady warmth of his body a much needed anchor for the madness that threatens to drown you.  
“Good girl,” Din praises, pace faltering from just how tight your pussy squeezes and flutters around his cock. “S-such a fucking good girl for me.”     
Regaining some semblance of control, you realize he’s still fucking going—still rock solid and throbbing, fucking you through the aftershocks of your release. Your arousal turns sharp, like rough cotton over a fresh sunburn as it dips into overstimulation. It’s not unpleasant but Din has to slow his hips to a delicate roll for you to recover.            
In the time it takes to inhale, a different calloused hand kneads into your lower back then smoothes up your spine. A second later you feel the scrape of Paz’s stubble prick along your exposed shoulder as his tongue drags along your sweat dampened skin—all the way up the curve of your neck and ending at the shell of your ear. 
You’re not sure if it’s intentional, but as Paz crowds closer the tip of his cock pokes at your other hole. With a surprised mewl, you tense and shy away—but he follows, molds his chest against your back to sandwhich you in. The hand gripping your bicep jumps to your neck and pulls your head against his shoulder. 
Two of Paz’s fingers dip down the curve of your ass and brush along the puckered skin—far less jarring this time. “Do you want to be fucked here too?” 
Maker—
You’re gonna fucking explode.  
Stuffed to the brim already, it’s hard to imagine Paz cramming himself in along with Din. A little red light blares in some corner of your mind but it’s quickly soothed as Paz plants soft kisses over your cheek and jaw. You trust him—there’s no reason to think he’ll hurt you or push you to the point of pain.
You catch his mouth with a kiss and rock your hips back. “Y-yeah, ok. I trust you.” 
You feel his smile curl against your cheek. “Don’t worry vaar’ika—I’ll take care of you.”
Paz strokes your bottom lip with his thumb and kisses the crown of your hairline as you sink into him. With his ring and middle finger, he pushes past the seam of your lips. “Suck.”
You obey, sealing your lips around his two digits and coating them in your saliva. Paz pulls them out with a pop and moves them between your legs, and with the added wetness dripping from your cunt, the first finger is easy enough. The second and third have you gasping as he scissors them and stretches your tight hole wider. You claw your nails into Din’s shirt—and he’s no better—Din’s own hands are clamping around your hips, struggling to keep still and biting back moans each time your cunt constricts. 
Your hips begins to meet the thrusts of Paz’s fingers as your body familiarizes the feel of him there. It’s a deep thrill that rushes up through your spinal cord—much different from anything you’ve felt before. 
“You like this, don’t you?” Paz goads, chuckling when you whine as he extracts his fingers. “I think you’re ready to take my cock, yeah?”
You shudder and nod, your voice no more than a squeak as it pilfers out. Paz strokes the top of your head and tips you forward into Din’s eager arms as Paz slicks up his length in a mix of precum and your dripping arousal. He touches the swell of you ass in warning, lines himself up with your hole and wedges the tip of his cock inside of you.     
Involuntary tears dampen your makeshift blindfold as Paz buries himself deeper, his rumbling tone urging you to relax—relax even though your mind is drowning in an ocean of arousal and swirling emotions you have no hope to pin down and analyze. It’s for the best—thankful as Paz bottoms out that it wrenches you back to a feasible reality you’re able to manage.
“Shit—I-I’m gonna die—“ You sob, writhing at just how full you are. But there’s nowhere to fucking go—     
“Easy,” Din breathes, and you wonder if he’s said it to keep his own head on his shoulders. “Easy.”
Din’s gravelly rasp cuts through the fog in your head, and stars—you sound like you’re fucking dying. Your wheezy breaths and lightheadedness would certainly suggest that—but no…no, you’re fine. Better than fine.     
A rush so acute and devastating launches up your spine as Din’s patience cracks. He experimentally rolls his hips and that’s the end of it. You’re swallowed up in that riptide you fought so hard to avoid—fuck. You won’t be the same after this. How can you?  
You can feel them both, separated by a thin wall as they sprint towards their own highs. You’re never once left empty—Din reaches the end of you as Paz pulls out and while there’s not exactly any finesse involves it’s the best fucking thing you’ve felt in your entire life. There’s no bickering—no teasing and you’re struck with an idea that makes you clench tight around both of them. You wouldn’t mind if this was the way they decided to settle scores or finally see eye to eye.   
This time you can’t discern your high—just a constant overflow of ecstasy and dazzling arousal like an imploding supernova. You cry their names—sob and shake in their hold with such fervor that Paz traps you tighter between them to keep you still.  
“Fuck—you get so fucking tight,” Paz growls, blunt nails digging into your hips. “And so fucking wet.”
His fingers touch the inside of your thigh and stars—he’s right. “I get to fuck your cunt next time—see how much you’ll drip for me.” 
Even if the blindfold were off—there’d be nothing to see but a white wash of nothing. Blinded by pleasure and bursting at the seems. 
Jealous, Din steals your breath away with a kiss, licking and nipping at your swollen lips until you whine his name. His jagged pants fan across your chin—chapped lips and patchy facial hair tickling across your bottom lip as you breath the same air. 
Din whispers your name like a prayer, his fingers clutching tight around your thighs as his pace starts to flounder to choppy jerks. “Shit. I-I’m close—“
Your fingers twist into his hair. “Yeah—ok baby. Let go.”
Din’s teeth sink into the base of your throat and cums. His seed coats your insides—hot and copious and fucking shit—if there’s a next time you want him to cum in your mouth.      
You don’t get time to relish Din’s stuttered gasps of your name, laced with praise and a show of a tender and bleeding heart before Paz is gathering up your hair in a tight fist and jerking your head up. “You—you want me to cum too? Say it.” 
Without a breath of hesitation you beg for it, cry and arch into him. It does the trick—
Paz is loud—shouts a thunderous roar and buries his cock deep into your hole. Din is still recovering from the aftershocks of his release when Paz pulls out after what seems like ages pumping you full. His cock no longer there to plug you up, his cum begins to dribble out and mix with the mess between your legs. Your legs shake and you wobble--crying out as Din slips out, your body dreadfully empty and aching.     
You're lowered to the mat by Din and if you weren't still trying to formulate words, you'd thank them. Lips dart over your cheeks and hairline, and for once nothing needs to be said. It’s nice...the radiating warmth from their bodies and the simmering flush through you body is something you could get used to. But you’re no stranger to the shifting tides of the future. 
You shrug it off.    
Your eyes are heavy and with one of them stroking your hair and the other your thigh, you drift to sleep. Later—later all unspoken things and disastrous words can be dealt with tomorrow. You must be dreaming when it’s said--careless and bold, but the words nestle into your heart and sprouts with fear. 
“You love her, don't you?” 
translation:
vaar’ika--pipsqueak 
or’dinni--dumbass idiot 
vod--brother/comrade 
tag list: 
@bobafctts​ @djxrxn​ @teaofpeach​ @corrupt-fvcker​ @nelba​ @datmando​ @ben-is-a-hoe​ @dreams-like-clockwork​ @aerynwrites​ @auty-ren​ @huliabitch​ @anxiety-riddled-mando​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @trippedmetaldetector​ 
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ficauthor · 3 years ago
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inspired by the prompt by @danphanwritingprompts:
Danny narrowed his eyes as the Uber arrived at the church, and he finally remembered the occasion. “Wait, Mom? Did we just pregame Vlad’s funeral?” Danny asked. Maddie scowled. “Shut up and act sober. For some reason, your dad loved that miserable creep,” she told him. “It’s the only way to get through the day,” Jazz agreed, fumbling to open the door and step out.
and some other headcannons that I've seen float around tumblr about trans Danny fic below cut if you dont wanna follow the link.
Looking out the window was making him nauseous, like really  really nauseous. The kind of nauseous he only got when sick or from a good punch. He knew a thing or two about good punches. He’d been taking them for a few years now.
It really wasn’t fair if you asked him. One should ask him because it was an experience that only he could experience. After all, halfa's were rare as can be. Skulker had certainly told him enough for him to know. Every brush with alcohol in his younger days was, well, a mixed bag. He processed it faster than the average person so he was lucky in that aspect that he got drunk faster. But if anything his messing about with alcohol before he was 21 told him it was that it also left much faster than normal. Bullshit ghost rules and all of that. Genuinely being a ghost even half one had very few upsides. Some people online speculated about how cool ghost powers must be to have but clearly none of them knew about the burden that it came with. Sometimes he still wished that he didn’t know. 
However this time for whatever reason the alcohol was hitting him and staying. Maybe it was because the previous times he’d been drinking cheap party booze in Dash’s garage with Sam and Tucker, no one but the three of them aware that they were even there. Instead this time the booze was some semi expensive shit, he didn’t know the name or type but he’d been promised quality. Why he of all people was being given quality alcohol he'd never know but he wasn’t going to turn it down.
That being said seemed the trade off was intense nausea. It wasn’t that bad all things considered, he actually preferred being sloshed for the upcoming event but his body was not agreeing with that. Not that his body agreed with a lot of things. The disagreement between ghost and human sometimes really bit him in the ass. His head was floaty, the world in front of him was spinning badly, maybe it’d be worth it to never drink again. Especially if he was going to have this reaction . If only he’d invited Sam and Tucker. They were great fun and always knew how to reel him in. Man he missed them, if only they didn’t all go to different colleges. But nooo all of their majors just had to have few overlapping colleges. At least they were all within a drives (or in his case a flying) distance. When he wasn’t feeling too sick and unbalanced he’d have to fly over to their dorms for a movie night. It’d be nice. Sam might even be able to get them into someplace cool again.
In a stagnant attempt to push the feeling away he turned away from the window and towards his family. Jazz was studying a text on her phone. Probably a message from her girlfriend at university. Maybe she was inviting her. That’d be nice. She seemed nice when he’d saved her as Phantom a month ago, then everyone was nice when their life had just flashed before their eyes and they were rescued from it’s visions. Even when he and Valerie were on the worst of terms he was always grateful when ever she rescued him in either form. Bar Johnny 13 his sisters' taste in partners wasn’t actually all that bad. He actually liked her last girlfriend. Even then with Johnny he wasn’t sure how much of that was actually her taste and how much was Kitty’s possession. 
Certainly Jazz’s apprehension couldn’t be blamed, three of her previous partners both highschool and college were driven away by how weird their family was. She claimed she was fine with it, something about them not truly accepting all parts of her but still. That sucked. School had been rough enough, he couldn’t even count the amount of people that had been weirded out from being his friend because of his parents. Well there was also his reputation but his parents being renowned ghost hunters and chaotic town kooks certainly did not help. Looking back on it more of that might have actually been on his reputation. A nerd with A+ grades until highschool only to then end up with Ds on the best of days and bruises on the worst. Yeah some of that was probably on him.
Jazz gave him a look, he’d spaced out and looked at her for too long, it was weird now. He gave her a shrug and turned to their mother.
Laughing would be rude; he had to remind himself when he spotted her dancing along to the car radio in her dorky adult grooving. It was peaceful in a way. A down time he didn't usually get to appreciate before something bad (normally ghosts) interrupted. It was almost nice in a way to be calm with his mom and sister. Even if the former looked really really stupid.
He snorted anyway at his mom’s dance moves. Discombobulated shoulder jerks and little hand motions mixed in with little head rolls that had no rhyme or reason. It was wildly out of beat and didn’t match the tone of the song on radio. It was definitely the kind of dancing that Tucker would disparagingly call “white people shit”. The thought alone of Tucker's pain at his parents' dance moves was almost enough to send him into hysterics.
Man he missed Tucker.
He’d have to check in on Tucker soon, since he started the latest school assignment he’d sort of ghosted everyone, for the lack of a better word. It was probably the stress of dealing with his assignment partners, he’d done the same last time. Still… in a town and world with ghosts it couldn't hurt to try to check in on him. Tuck was a big boy now he could hold his own in a ghost fight but he didn’t like the idea of leaving him to it. Call him what you will but obsessions were just like that. 
Maybe he was a little possessive.
Just a touch.
“Oh Danny!” his mom squealed as a new song filtered in. The Uber driver rolled his eyes, clearly he thought no one could see him but Danny caught it in the rear view mirror. ” I love this song, isn't it rad!”
He tried not to laugh, he really did, but it was so ridiculous. His parents were doing this on purpose! They had to be! There was no way that they weren’t no one was that out of touch. That behind on lingo. Warm giggles and chuckles bubbled forth, messy and loud. The kind of laugh only those closest to him could coax out of him. Back in school it was only Tuck and Sam that got him to laugh like that (maybe Jazz if she was lucky) make him lose his composure so quickly, but more and more readily his parents had been able to also force the laughs out of him.
If only fourteen year old him could see him now. He’d be so embarrassed. Sitting in the back of an Uber laughing openly at something silly his mom was doing.  She said something he couldn’t catch, teased him probably for laughing. A random pop song and the air coming in from the drivers open window were just loud enough to cover even a raised voice. Even still the there was comfort. Whatever she said was from a place of love.
He loved car rides sometimes. He didn’t always appreciate them when he was younger, kind of like how he felt about his parents. Especially when he was 14 but now? They were some of his favourite times spent with his parents. He just couldn’t help it, something about the rolling scene and music with easy conversation lulled him. It helped keep his obsession at bay, blocking it from flaring if he could see that some of the most important people in his life were there, in front of him safe and sound.
He still ached. Felt that compulsion to check Sam and Tuck. Rather than scream like normal it was a soothing whisper. He was able to drunkenly send them a text about how much he loved them without the skin crawling need to see that they were still standing.
 The Uber slowed to a crawl, the Sudan squealing as they stopped. Man that guy really needed to replace his breaks. He could get in a wreck and then whoever he was ferrying around could get seriously hurt.
No!
He shook his head; he couldn't let his obsession obsess on something so small. It was probably safe to look out of the window again so he chanced a look. Danny narrowed his eyes as the Uber arrived at the church, and he finally remembered the occasion.
“Wait, Mom? Did we just pregame Vlad’s funeral?” Danny asked. 
Maddie scowled,“ Shut up and act sober. For some reason, your dad loved that miserable creep,” she told him.
“It’s the only way to get through the day,” Jazz agreed, fumbling to open the door and step out.
Damn he hadn’t meant to forget the occasion but he couldn’t help it his mind was already prone to wandering and the alcohol was just making it worse. Really it was a miracle he passed highschool in the first place, even when sober his mind just struggled to latch onto subjects, and that was before he had to nightlight as Phantom, hell it wasn’t even nightlighting it was a full double life. Really he didn't even know how he was managing college with the heroing on the side. Best guess if he was pressed to give one was that his parents’ disappointment and the desire to go to space was combining into the ultimate peer pressure. Funny how his brain worked like that, maybe Jazz could explain that to him. She was good for stuff like that. Explanations for why his brain was weird. She tried to give him an acronym for it one time something with A's. An attention thing of some sort. He'd have to ask her about it again sometime so he could wrap his mind around it.
“Hey!” Jazz opened the door, her face inches from his, the scent of some fruity cocktail on her breath,” get out Danny, and remember, act normal. At least for dad’s sake.”
“Yeah,” he waved her off stumbling to his feet, honestly it wasn’t fair that the ground was so unsteady beneath him, kind of transphobic if you asked him. “If you wanted me to act normal then why’d we all get plastered?” he joked.
“Shush,” Jazz clamped a hand on his face, their slow amble up the church's  many  steps paused. “Don’t lick a gift horse in the mouth Danny, you know this will be insufferable.” 
He licked her hand, she recoiled, wiping the spit off on her fancy black dress. 
“Danny!”
He stuck out his tongue in retaliation.
“Behave, ”she chided.
He rolled his eyes and followed her. It was just a funeral, what was the worst they could get into?
 The second he stepped in the church threshold he knew. It put his whole body on edge, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and the faintest trickled of mist? ghost vaper? Ghost breath? He actually had no clue what it was that came out of his mouth. 
Well he never really understood what he was saying half the time anyways, his mouth had a habit of running out from under him. The worst case of that was just the other week, he was talking to Sam over skype about something and he’d forgotten that she knew about Phantom, how really he had no clue, and he just went on for about twenty minutes making some out there wild excuse for why he’d missed their last hang out when she’d stopped him.
Honestly it was getting embarrassing, even worse was trying to keep things he said to his parents in each form separate. He really had to tell them soon.
It was so easy when he was 14 the breadth of his conversations with them as Phantom at the time could be summed up with a snarky quip from him or a “I’m gonna dissect you” from them. Now though they seemed to be fully taking seriously the notion that ghosts had depth to them. Which while true was deeply inconvenient for him. That meant he had to have interactions with them as Phantom and keep his identity straight ( ha  ). Maybe he should be grateful, they weren’t threatening to dissect him anymore that was certainly a plus, they still definitely wanted to examine him however.  He had considered it, in the depth of the night, allowing them to examine him only to drop the transformation part way through. It’d be funny, just a little bit to catch them off guard like that. But they didn’t deserve a coming out like that. He stifled a groan, he thought he was done with the closet when he’d come out but no life just had to never end and add in ghosts.
“Danny,” Jazz hissed at him. 
He slurred out a huh at her in confusion.
Damn he’d been staring out at nothing, the Pastor? Priest? He didn’t know the difference to be honest, was still talking about Vlad. Shit that’s right! The second he’d walked in his ghost sense had gone haywire, Vlad was still (half) alive in that plush ass casket. He wondered how bad it'd be to fake a stomach ache and transform into Phantom for some ass kickery. Knowing his luck though Vlad might just feign full death embrace just to make a fool of him. 
He would do that, fake his death, hell he was doing it right now! Motive was still unclear to him but Danny was going to get to the bottom of it. The man at the front, religious figure of whatever denomination, was gesturing large and big as he wrapped up.  It was really official, and stuffy, when he finally fully died he wanted his funeral to be nothing like this. Maybe Tuck's ideas of dramatic funeral pranks were where it was at. Or maybe even Sam's ideas of celebratory parties that remembered the dead's life. He wouldn’t object to either of those. 
Alcohol was fading out of his system again, well it’d been nice while it’d lasted but it’d probably be best to not be sloshed if Vlad wanted to cause a scene. 
He sat at the edge of his seat as his father came up for a speech.
“Vlad,” his father stopped to blow his nose,” Vlad was a good friend of mine in college, w-we,” his lip trembled, his large jaw hammering up and down as he stammered for words. It took everything in Danny to not sink into the pew bench in embarrassment. Jack was for all intensive purposes the only person in the entire church that seemed genuinely broken up about the billionaire’s death.
“We drifted apart for a while, and he’d just started to come back to mine and my wife's lives a few years ago and- and- I-I sorry,” he winced as his fathers voice died.
While he didn’t understand his fathers affection for the man his heart couldn't help but ache for the man’s sorrow. His father had such a large heart. He was so trusting and held so much affection in his large beating heart. It was a weakness and a strength. One his mother often said he inherited. He didn’t know if he could see it. He wasn’t so soft, so trusting, so eager to love and care as his father. Then the larger man hadn’t been burned the same. Hadn’t had his heart half electrocuted to death like him.
His mom walked up on the stage, he was briefly impressed by her composure, she was buzzed but also in heels and looked to all the church exceedingly well put together. Quietly she was speaking her hands gently on Jack’s shoulders patting his back soothingly. She often sold herself short. Stating her heart not to be as big, Danny didn’t believe that, not really, his mother was just more careful in those she let in.
“I wasn’t as close to him as my husband,” she admitted, having softly taken the mic from Jack. her fingers were curled around it softly, but her other hand was in her hair. She was fidgeting and searching for words,” but I’m sure those he was close to will miss him dearly.” she said tight lipped. Jack whispered something to Maddie quietly making her smile tightly and nod. The man moved to his seat and let his wife continue his speech in his stead. 
It was nothing notable really, Danny wasn’t one for paying attention to speeches or lectures and a funeral would not be an exception. He caught a few snippets though, his moms implication that she liked him better in college. A line hoping that in death that he could hopefully move on from the past. He really tried to not laugh at that one clearly because she'd noticed the exes. How many of them had known before? How many of the exes had to learn of their blueprint right then and there in the funeral.
Still he sat teetering on the edge of his seat, half paying attention to her words and mind half trained on that open casket. Vlad lay there in the plush box waiting. What for he couldn’t tell yet but he wasn’t going to be caught unaware.
The speeches couldn’t have ended any slower in his opinion. He wished that the alcohol hadn’t run it’s course already. It was so much easier to get through shit when his mind was quieted and his obsession was dulled. Instead he was forced to wait, his waking obsession tearing at his insides making him wait. Watch the lingering guests with apprehensive eyes. A few were expected. Gaggle of divorced exes. Some smattering of people that vaguely had Vlad's chin and nose. It was bizarre, some looked wildly like him and others well. They were utter strangers to Danny. They all were but they seemed almost faceless in how unknown they were. Interestingly none of them really seemed that choked up. He’d never expected troves of people depressed about Vlad’s passing. Still to only have one sobbing mourner? Maybe they just grieved differently...
Yeah maybe.
About when he got his water from the refreshments table he realized that Vlad really wasn't pulling a stunt. Still he had no clue why he was in that damn casket if he was still (half) alive in there. He almost laughed at the absurdity of it all, his worst nightmare was being trapped in one of those, yet Vlad had clambered in willing foot after foot laying stricken and board straight for all that he knew to see him. It didn’t make sense. There had to be some trick.
There had to be.
He thought maybe after his father had bowed his head over the casket head in hands loud body wracking sobs shaking his shoulders that Vlad might then spring to life (ha) and attack them. No, instead he remained laying in that coffin, the soft plush pillow under his head holding him still, the flowers in hand still clutched in strict fingers. He must have some sort of long con going on then. Some sort of goal he was aiming to reach by laying stricken and dead.
Wouldn’t be the first time the man had pulled a bizarre stunt. The time he’d kidnapped Danny and his mom sprang to mind. But there were few situations that came to mind where faking one’s death could come in handy. 
A severe looking man walked up to him a small plate of hors d'oeuvres in hand.  Sam would hate the sight of the small snacks, not a single one was vegetarian. And Tuck? He’d be laughing his head off at the name and size. He really had to rope them into a trip to the movies or arcade sometime soon.
The man greeted him, straightening his professional looking tie as he spoke. The man was exceedingly out of place, in a clean and crisp business suit that hardly matched the tone of mourning clothes. Then his parents were wearing their jumpsuits under their fancy clothes so glass houses and all that.
The man was painfully dull giving Danny his condolences in a rather stilted and clunky tone. The man clearly didn't want to be there. He raised an eyebrow at the man as he finally asked how he knew the ‘deceased’. 
Telling the man something to the effect of, “Just through my parents,” somehow making it clear to the man that he wasn’t particularly choked up by the billionaire's death. Gee he wondered what gave it away, his flat unaffected tone? Or the fact that Vlad was a billionaire with no moral backbone. 
Huh, he must really be missing Sam a lot to be thinking like that. he hated to admit it but she was kinda right. 
Business suit was disinterested in conversation with Danny after that, he hastily wrapped up the conversation. Man even muttered “shame.” under his breath, if Danny wasn’t half dead he wouldn't have caught it. But well nothing ever really worked out well for bureaucrats did it?
Had Vlad seriously faked his death to avoid paying a few measly bucks? The man was a billionaire! He must really owe them a mean amount of money for them all to arrive at the funeral like this. Maybe they hoped the will would work in their favour? Not far in front of the refreshment table were two suits talking unabashedly about the amounts that Vlad owed them. If it weren’t for the setting Danny would think that they were coming or going from an important meeting.
For what was probably the first time he properly looked at all of the guests. Actually taking them in, a good chunk like he’d noticed before were the exes that half looked like his mom, and their kids (hopefully they weren’t biologically Vlads). Then there were the vague family members that looked like Vlad watered down with kindness. But the rest? Suits and-
Oh.
Oh he had to step behind an archway and stuff a fist in his mouth to stop himself from laughing out loud. Vlad had fucking bounty hunters being sent after him! It was karmic, he had to stop himself from busting a gut right then and there in the middle of a church. It was already blasphemy enough to be the walking dead he didn't want to also throw in disrespecting the (only mostly) dead into the mix. 
Well at least they weren’t all debtors, lurking around the corners and edges of the room was a guy he’d worked with as Phantom a few years ago. He was kind of hot in a rugged sort of way. If it weren’t for Sam and Tuck he’d have considered flirting seriously with the other man. As it was his joking flirting got him in trouble with the other two.
He was really acting up being normal, that rugged man. Mingling about with other people dressed neatly.
Clear to only  Danny what he was, what the others like him were, the man wandered unaware that Danny was watching him. Ironically he only knew they were bounty hunters because Vlad had hired the rugged man and his crew to hunt Phantom that time a few years ago and now? Oh the tables have turned. Someone, maybe one of the exes, or the debtors wanted him dead. Damn what had Vlad done?
Ghost Zone inhabitants had mixed opinions on him, many of which wanted him dead or knocked down a peg. But that was the Ghost Zone, half of them wanted  Danny  dead at some point or another. This was the human world. Earth and shit, it was much harder to piss off someone to the level of murder. Not impossible but damn. He grinned at this, Vlad was (half) alive and (sorta) well in that casket and he couldn’t do anything if he started to stir shit up. Life was beautiful, twinkling and gorgeous, he decided. He Didn’t need Tucker and Sam to have fun.
 He started with one of the exes. He went out of his way to ignore her dyed red hair and pale purple eyes as he talked with her. It wasn’t her fault that Vlad had a complex, he reminded himself as the woman talked. Fault couldn’t be pinned on her for the parallels he could search between his mother and her. She was nice in a weird way, again really like his mom. It was unnerving. He kept trying to ignore her beady eyed gremlin of a child as she talked to him about the will. 
Whatever Vlad had done for all the people in his life to only care about the will and the will alone Danny wanted to do the express opposite. It was almost painful in a way to watch all of these people act like they weren’t only here for the money. Served the man right, it was still depressing, the man had everything on paper but not a damn thing in reality.
“Do you think his daughter will show?” he tactfully added into the conversation after the woman had made some condolences about his family and Vlad. 
“Daughter?” the woman asked, her large eyes blinking slowly,” I'm sure you're mistaken, Vlad told me he doesn’t have kids.”
“Oh,” he said, feigning apology, inside he was loving this, sure Vlad couldn’t admit the truth about the clones but clearly the man had seriously left out some details to his ex lovers. “Are you sure? ‘Elle is nineteen now,” he said, it was technically true if you counted right. She was also only seven if you counted right. It was all about semantics.
“Ninete-” the woman stammered something hard settling in her eyes,” he told me he didn’t want to have children,” she looked down at her angry eyed child (he hoped the little dude didn’t kick him in the shin) who had a hand fisted in the end of her dress. “If you’ll excuse me, Daniel, this was an- enlightening conversation.” he watched her walk away to a woman with a big chunky bracelet.
Also a redhead. Of course.
A sharp pain seared in the top of his ear he prevented himself from yowling out as the fingers attached dragged him over to a corner.
"ow ow ow," he whined out quietly trying heard not to draw attention to himself. It didn't really work.
“What the  fuck  are you doing?” Jazz hissed at him when they were hidden away from the rest of the group.
“First of all: ow!” He rubbed his ear delicately between his finger pads,” I’m not a child anymore, maybe borderline sibling abuse was funny in 80’s sitcoms but it's not anymore.”
Jazz rolled her eyes,” second of all?” she pressed, she was still slightly buzzed and yet she was still holding herself with so much composure. Kind of impressive, if she hadn’t just physically threatened to rip his ear off.
“Secondly I’m not doing anything wrong.”
“Not do-” Jazz floundered,” Daniel!” she hissed out again struggling to keep her tone low. Damn she was mad, she only pulled out the full name when really fucked up,” I know your relationship with Vlad was- complicated.”
He snorted,” he tried to kill me multiple times, Jazz.”
“Yes bu-”
“Dark Dan,’’ he pressed further.
“I get it!” she snapped in a whisper-shout,” but a funeral isn-”
“He isn’t dead Jazz. Or really fully dead I guess I should say,” he laughed
Jazz rolled her eyes,” This is concerning behaviour Danny.”
“W-what?” he asked.
She tapped her chin pensively, she was psychoanalyzing him again, gag, “You must be transferring your complicated feeling about him into-”
“Jazz,” he groaned. It was best to stop her before she got on a roll, “Ghost senses remember? He’s still not fully dead, I can tell. He faked his death.”
“Okay,” she said with a sigh," I'm not saying I believe you, but say he did fake his death-”
“He did.”
She shot him a look, “Why? Why would he fake his death? He’s a rich ceo multi-billionaire with more money than most of us can conceive of, nonetheless actually obtain, what does he get out of faking his death?”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, this was easier when Jazz was talking to one of Vlad’s cousins ignoring him stirring the pot. 
He explained what he’d pieced together so far, with the suits and hunters lurking around the edges of the room it was easy to point out how out of place they look. Slowly a realization fell on her face, an acceptance of what he was saying.
“When I was talking to the stepford exes they were all talking about who would get the estate.”
“Do they know who?” he asked.
Jazz shook her head,” no the will was kept really secretive from all of them. There was even a bit of an altercation from two of the younger ex girlfriends over it.”
He winced at that, he couldn’t blame them for being mad he just wished Vlad wasn’t faking death for them to take it out on. “The bottle red and the one with the big bracelet?” he prompted, remembering the end of his conversation with the former.
“No that’s Maddison and Maggie, the two that fought were Morgan and Melenie.”
“Maddison? Maggie? Morgan? Melenie?” he repeated with a grimace voice getting higher with each name.
“Yeah I know,” she said with a sigh,” a textbook case of projecting an ex, or in this case crush, on future partners leading to a string of failed relationships,” she frowned looking over at the group of clustered red heads. Danny followed and examined them, they were all looking at something their eyes occasionally darted over to- 
Oh of course, mom, they ‘d probably done the math already. He winced at the thought. He’d half thought about it before  finding the notion funny. Now in his sparkling sobriety of the evening he couldn’t find the humour.
“At least they all mostly get along,” Jazz offered, trying to look away from how the dozen or so women were looking at the one woman they were all stacked against.
“Really?” he blinked at her,” I’d have thought that they’d all be fighting cause of the- well you know,” he gestured to the, everything, of the situation.
She shook her head,” no, they seem to all understand that it was all on Vlad, two of them, Mackenzie and Melody,” she clarified to even more of his confusion,” even found out that they were seeing him at the same time. How they didn’t know with all of the press that followed him I’ll never know, but they decided to team up on the legal front if there are any issues with the will.”
“Really.”
Jazz nodded,” yeah I was surprised too, but good for them, Vlad went around causing too many issues in their lives.”
He nodded in agreement as he looked at at the sea of redheads, some of them had grown out their hair revealing dark roots, some had hair styled in poufy curls reminiscent of his mothers old style and one of them had completely cut her hair into a half shaved look, it was actually similar to the look that Sam had now.
“Want to cause some problems for him?” he asked.
“Danny, legally and socially he’s dead, what could we do?”
“Legally yeah,” he agreed,” but technically he’s still half alive in there, and can hear everything that people say-”
“Are you suggesting that we ruin his reputation?” Jazz asked with a poorly hidden smile. He loved that in the years she’d loosened up. It was a good look on her, relaxation.
“Ruin?” He said, in mock scandal, ”I'm merely suggesting we bring it down to where it belongs.”
“Oh ‘merely’ what is that a fifth grade word? I'm impressed!” Jazz teased.
He shoved her lightly with a laugh,” oh fuck off I’m in college now you know.”
“Really? Accredited and everything?”
He stifled his laugh,” shut up, you know dealing with ghost shit messed with my grades.”
Truthfully he’d expected her to joke further about it, to razz him about doing so much, or maybe analyze him, diagnosis him with trauma. Instead she hugged him.
“I’m sorry so much was put on your shoulders so young,” her voice was raw. Too raw.  
He patted her back, stomach squirming. Because what was he to do with that? The tender care held for him in the cracks of her fingers. The sorrow that settled in her pores all for him?
“Hey stop that,” he eventually said, pulling back,” or I'll make clockwork take me back in time so you never find out.” He didn’t mean it, he never did.
Jazz laughed a little wetly, he didn’t comment on it. Why would he? Also didn’t get a chance as she ruffled his hair, despite the fact that he was now much taller than her. “People are allowed to care about you, asshole.”
He scrunched his nose up at that,” ew what? I detest affection.”
“Oh detest another good one, really racking up those vocab words huh?” she sniffled her hands on her hips, a little lean in her back as she smirked.
Snorting, he stepped back and fixed his hair,” how about we make this a competition?”
“Huh?”
“First one to make Vlad burst out of his casket and rage in ghost mode wins.”
“Really? What would the winner get?”
He tapped his chin making a humming noise,” how about this, loser has to reveal their secret.”
Jazz laughed nervously,” I don’t have a secret Danny.”
Danny gave her a look,” Jazz, I’ve met your girlfriend.”
She bit her lip looking down at his outstretched hand, a debate playing in her eyes.
“Hey you don’t have to if you don’t wanna,” he said softly,” this is just meant for fun after all.” he knew better than most what forcing this stuff did.
”No, it’s fine,” she took his hand and shook, if a little clumsily,” that doesn’t mean they have to meet her though.”
“Oh don’t worry,” he said,” it won’t be my fault if they do that’ll be entirely on them.”
“Danny!” she exclaimed at him as he fled to the other side of the church. Finally this funeral was going to be interesting!
“Can you keep a secret?” he asked the swaying uncle of Vlad. The man smelled of beer and hors d'oeuvres. Not that Danny could judge if it wasn’t for the thick layer of spray on deodorant that his mom smothered him in right before he got in the uber then he’d probably smell just as rank. Then there was the fact that he’d pregamed to.
The older man narrowed his eyes at Danny, he was shocked to see the man he looked to hardly be much older than Vlad yet he was his uncle? He’d gone to ask about it but thought better about it, the less lore he knew about Vlad’s family the better, he really didn’t want to know about how many kids and when and how the Masters ‘clan’ had. Conversation with the older man was… stilted, to say the least. But he was certain that if he told him something then it wouldn’t get back to him. And that was half the game wasn’t it? Finding a way to spread the most rumours without people finding out it was him or Jazz. All without powers of course, that almost went without saying. 
The man didn’t seem too broken up about Vlad, they probably weren’t that close and Danny had always gotten the impression from the billionaire that he was a smidge too snobbish to fully have developed relationships with people. As often as he teased Jazz for being snobby, she at least was nowhere near as bad as Vlad. Man damn near invented snobbishness and assholery. He’d have to ask clockwork if Vlad’s ancestors were just as bad. Judging by some of his family, probably not.
“Well before he passed,” Danny prompted, pausing in a way to snag the older man's attention.
“Yes?” the older man asked when he didn’t continue.
“Well,” Danny fidgeted with his nail,”  you know his signed Packers jersey?”
The older man nodded eagerly.
Danny looked to the side,” it’s a fake,” he whispered to the man.
“Really?”
He nodded,” yeah, but please don’t tell anyone,” he added,” it’s bad enough that they know he was banned from buying the team-”
“He was what?” 
Danny fought to hide a smirk. He knew it’d be easier to sell this lie if he started smaller.
“I thought everyone knew!”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, most of the town knows, it’s just, no one talked about it to be polite.” okay that might have been overselling it a bit but the distant relative seemed to really be drinking it in.
“What did he do?”
Danny looked side to side like he didn’t want anyone to overhear.
“Well a few years ago when he was closing the deal to buy the team he got caught stalking some of the members!”
“Really?” the uncle asked,” wha- why?”
Danny shrugged,” they never really found the reason he was following them, he was even trying to seduce some of the wives.”
The man gasped,” I- really?” 
Danny nodded. “But you can’t tell anyone you have to promise me.”
He watched as the man smiled in what he thought was slyness,” of course! I just, with all of those wives he had!”
 Within the next five minutes Danny heard the rumour circulate across the room and it had grown legs. How glorious those rumours legs were. 
“I heard he’d tried to break up a marriage on the team!” an ex wife (Maggie maybe?) hissed.
The other ex (Mary? The other woman might have called her) laughed,” would it really be any surprise? With what he did to Morgan and Melenie?”
The first woman nodded sagely,” fair I can’t believe I even fell for his tricks.”
All things considered the rumour was spreading well, and there was not even a gasp of a suggestion that he was the source. He couldn’t wait to hear what Jazz had invented, with the rumbles he’d already started to hear, it was probably great. Jazz always did have a way of getting into people’s heads. Find what interests them the most.
“So this daughter of Vlad's?” the woman he was talking to prompted, he vaguely remembered Jazz saying her name was Maddison. She’d found him again some time later; her child now safely deposited over by the other kids with their group babysitter. They were in the middle of the church now, the other two still whispering about the packers' spouses.
“ ‘Elle?” he asked as if he’d forgotten.
The woman nodded her curls bouncing as she did.
“Can I see a picture of her?”
He pulled up an older photo of them hanging out, the picture was grainy and they were both sticking their tongues out at the camera. Shit he’d really forgotten how alike they looked.
“You both-” the woman said before stopping. She glanced at his parents. 
Shit he had to go into damage control,” well she’s also my cousin,” he fibbed.
“Cousin?”
“Yes! Technically once removed? Or something like that, I didn’t meet her until a few years ago, we were really blown away with the family resemblance!” he laughed. "Really it's uncanny!"  He continued.
Too far! Too far! He was leaning into it too much! It wasn’t like he could just tell her the truth, that Dani was Vlad's only successful half dead clone of him! Then he’d also have to out two things about himself to her.
“She travels a lot,” he added. He really needed to learn when to shut his big mouth,” she was in Paris a few years ago actually.”
“Really?”
He couldn’t even blame the alcohol! He was just this stupid naturally huh? They’d been saying it for years Sam and Tucker, if only he’d taken them seriously before this. His idiocy might really be terminal.
“Yup, I haven’t seen her in awhile though, hopefully she visits again!”
Scrutinizing eyes scanned him up and down, darting from each corner of his face hunting out the ruse. He really needed to learn to shut his big mouth.
“Do you have her number?”
Crashing noises filled his brain. Her number? The last thing that he had expected was interest in ‘Elle. he’d just thought that they’d get upset at Vlad and leave it at that.
“ ‘E-elle's?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m sorry if this is prying but me and the other ladies,” she gestured to a few of them,” we’re talking and we want to support her!”
“I-” he hesitated, he hadn’t really planned for this,” what?”
The older woman nodded,” we all talked it out and if we get the estate we’re going to support one another and the kids, and it seems like ‘Elle just got stuck in the middle of this like the rest of us.”
“Yeah uh, let me just text her first?”
“Of course honey!”
Danny walked away from that conversation feeling distinctly weirder than before. Regardless he pulled up his phone and slid out the keyboard.
He opened up the “With an I” contact.
  Hey i accidentally got you adopted by like fifteen random women that used to date vlad
5:43 p.m.
  You what? Lul
5:45 p.m.
 He looked up around him before typing out the next message
  Yeah long story short he faked his death. Its weird
5:46 p.m.
I’m at the funeral and the exes wanna like support you?
5:46 p.m.
  Well Vlad wasn’t good for much but at least i now have a multitude of mothers
5:47 p.m.
  So i can give them your number?
5:47 p.m.
  Yeah have at it! If this causes chaos for vlad im all for it !
5:48 p.m.
“So her phone number is.”
By the time he’d separated himself from that conversation a few more rumours were floating.
“I heard that the reason he died in a car crash is because he was on the run from the law!” one of vlad's relatives whispered.
“Really!” another responded.
Elsewhere some of the attending staff were murmuring too. “I heard that he got caught smuggling maple syrup cans from canada!”
“Cans?”
“Yes apparently the good stuff is canned there.”
He walked to a new group this time with the suits.
“I hear that the money in the accounts is dirty.”
“According to my source his invested stocks were backed with illegal funds.”
“If there’s drugs really attached to it like I was told then I don't want anything to do with it.”
“I agree it's hard enough to get money from wills with spouses involved. It's even harder if the feds sniff any drugs.”
“It might not even be worth it to try with all of the ladies,” a different suit complained,” I overheard them talking about lawyering up together if anything goes wrong.”
Another much older suit scoffed,” this business was much easier before the exes started working together.”
Finally he heard his own new rumour starting to gain some traction.
“Wasn’t it found out that he was stealing science equipment from the nearby college?”
“Oh whatever for?”
“I heard it was for making a specialty shampoo.”
“I’ve always wondered how he kept his hair so nice and shiny.”
 Jazz was good, too good, considering that neither of them had really clicked into any social cliques in highschool. Now she was gossiping better than even any of the A-listers.
“It’s just such a shame that they can’t come,” Jazz was even fake sobbing, damn he was going to have to up his game.
“Who couldn’t come?” One of Vlad's older cousins asked, Danny wondered if Jazz was screaming inside at the hand she had around one of the older exes' waists, it was casual and tender. If one of Vlad's exes was getting together with his cousin because of the  funeral , Danny would shriek from laughter, hell if he accidentally used his ghostly wail it’d be well worth it. Vlad of all people deserved to have a partner snatching occur to him. 
“Oh I’m sorry,” Jazz said,” I thought that everyone knew,” she looked from side to side,” please don’t tell the other ex wives Monroe I’d hate for their feelings to get hurt over this.”
Damn she was good. The wife- Monroe who was leaning comfortably on the cousin nodded.
“Of course Jazzie,” she said in a deep comforting New York accent,” this can be brought up to them later more delicately later.  Though I must admit,” she said after a pause where Jazz thanked her for her discretion.” I myself am curious who wasn’t able to come.”
“Well you know how he used to do ghost research with mom and dad?”
Where was she going with this? She was selling it well, Danny had to admit but for the life of him he couldn’t guess where this was going.
“Yes of course,” the cousin nodded as Monroe spoke.
“I can’t name the amount of times he used to write home in our youth about his little ghost adventures,” the cousin added.
Jazz nodded ,” well at the school there was the Lunch Lady Ghost and the Box Ghost, he was seeing them romantically in between their stays in the ghost zone.”
Danny held back a snort box ghost! If he laughed too hard in that moment he’d drop the ghost form and would fall on top of the group that’d gathered around her. As much control as he’d mastered over his abilities over the past couple years there was nothing that would be able to save him from Jazz’s wit. 
“I’m sure box ghost is very helpful for moves,” one of the crowd commented amicably. The others though had nothing to say. Clearly they’d all actually met Box Ghost. 
The gossip might have even stayed in that circle if it weren’t for another one of the cousins being right there and then deciding to tell his wife, who then told one of the ex-wives, who then told another, who then told a suit. So on and so forth.
By the time that Danny was back in human form and settled on the opposite side of Jazz’s conversation he was hearing the children that some of the wives had brought talking about Vlad ‘holding hands’ with the Box Ghost and Lunch Lady. Why couldn’t he have thought about that? It was so good, it was perfect, literally no one could prove it wrong. And embarrassing, seriously Box Ghost!
All the stuff he knew to be true about Vlad sounded so far-fetched.
Half ghost?
Well most people didn’t know about them.
The time he infected his two closest and longest friends with ghost pimples?
Needed the half ghost context. 
If only there was some-
“I hate Vlad!” one of the kids near him cried out stomping down his foot.
Unsurprisingly all of the kids agreed, okay he was a little surprised, usually Vlad had the wool pulled over on most people. So the fact that all of these kids  hated him really meant something.
“He stole my cotton candy at the fair!”
“Well he told me that I didn’t need to see daddy anymore cause he was gonna replace him!”
Eager ears pointed at them he drank in their every complaint. He’d known that Vlad was cartoonish levels of evil for awhile (see the infecting teens with ghost acne for personal gain as proof, or kidnapping him and his mom) but never had he truly expected for him to be so stupid as to do it all in the open in front of all of these kids. Then again some of this might be his obsession making him act out. Smallest sliver of him almost felt bad about that, the fact that Vlad was in a way forced to be this way, but it wasn’t really anything he wasn’t before. Obsessions just highlighted what was already there. Made it more severe.
 “Uhm excuse me,” he tapped the shoulder of one of the shorter women,” Mallory?” He'd asked the babysitter for her name but for the life of him he was struggling to keep all of the exes straight in his head. There were just too many of them and they all looked too similar to his mom.
“Yes,” her eyes flickered with recognition,” Danny?”
He laughed,” yeah that’s me!”
“Some of the others were mentioning you!” she said with a bright smile taking his hand,” thank you for telling us about ‘Elle! I can’t believe he kept her a secret from all of us for so long.”
He nodded in agreement,” well about Vlad-”
“Oh no, what else was he hiding?” she asked, there was a laugh ringing from her but Danny didn’t need ghost senses to know it was dead on arrival,” I’ve learned so much more here at his funeral than I ever did when we’d been together.”
He laughed a little at that, a stilted awkward laugh that only filled his chest halfway. He almost felt bad telling her about this, but she deserved to know the truth. “Well I overheard some of the kids complaining about Vlad.”
He filled her in on what he’d overheard about the kids, the petty little actions of Vlad. The cotton candy he’d stolen (which was weird he’s rich), the fathers he threatened to replace, it was all so bizarre. Danny was about halfway through when the casket began to shake.
Vlad masters was not an impulsive man. He was calculated, smart and forward thinking. At least he certainly liked to think so.  No impulsive man goes out of his way to plan his nemesis’ death and demise for twenty years. No reckless person would spend his time building an empire carefully crafting his abilities and connections for taking down his enemy.  Vlad however to his greatest distaste was in fact still half human and not infallible. While he was meticulous and in his personal opinion exceedingly intelligent he had no way to properly plan for wrenches in his schemes.
The fenton boy, Daniel was his biggest hurdle but it was only a matter of time before he found the right way to tackle the issue. He was just a particularly big roadblock. If only his emotional attachment to his dunderheaded father wasn’t so strong. These issues were all small potatoes compared to the one he was in now. The details can be spared and smoothed over all that was truly important was that he was at his own funeral.
He’d always wondered what people's reaction to his death would be. Contact with his extended family had been… loose, for the lack of a better term since his ‘accident’.  Deep down however he knew that when or if his time came, truly came, that they’d have a reaction. Probably sadness, he had been close to a few of them before his accident, hell he’d been close to them before his company had taken off. At the end of the day he simply had better things to do. Plans to make, revenge to ruminate on. It wasn’t his fault that they’d fallen to the wayside. They simply weren’t as important as Maddie.
He’d toyed with the idea that maybe his dear Maddie would sob over him, that she’d denounce Jack when she saw that he was no longer an option. How deeply poetic it’d be for that to happen. He never liked the idea of her only realizing their potential then but he couldn’t ignore the artful symmetry of it all. Some of the books that Maddie used to read in college had those even beginning and ends, those swooping through lines that tied it all nicely in a pretty bow. His first death had ripped her away from him. It’d gifted her to Jack on a silver platter, and his second oh how glorious it’d be if it drew her to him. Making her denounce her imbecile of a husband. Leaving the stocky man discarded.  Beauty was in the eye of the beholder and even with its harsh edges his death bringing her close to him was something to behold. If only that was what he was watching happen.
Unfortunately for Vlad Masters Owner, Ceo, and founder of Vladco. Life was not an art piece nor a well orchestrated game of football. No instead he got to lay still (half) alive in his exceedingly expensive casket and listen to the dolt sob.
It started like all of the worst things while heading to the Fenton's for another plan to be set in motion. The restraining order was still being held up in the courts so there was technically nothing legally stopping him from seeing them, or especially her. Besides he was a billionaire, those things were more fine machines than anything for him. Once it was enacted all he’d have to do was pay a fine.
Unfortunately it was during the drive that issues started. Again finer details notwithstanding for he’d run them all in his head a thousand times now while laying in this blastedly comfortable casket. While on the drive it became clear to him he was being followed.  No matter , he’d smugley told himself. He’d been followed by techbro fans before they were easy to deter. Easy to remove from his time and life. However in a deeply detestable turn of events the car following him did not belong to a fan.
He knew from the offset of seeing the make and model that it wasn't his average follower, those types usually had older beaters or worse highly expensive care that they had no business owning. No, instead this car was perfectly down the middle of class and price. How he detested those cars, they had no class. It was effectively similar to the many unmarked police cars that he used to have follow him during his brief stint as mayor. 
Regardless the car was tailing his limo, it was simple at first to attempt to outmaneuver them. Eventually his limo was pinned.
Blah blah blah mindless details later some pointless shooting at him with guns and he’d jacked their car. In the end it was simply easier to fake a fatal car crash. then there were all of those witnesses that had to see his death. Walking it back was impossible all circumstances considered. At least when they attacked him they only knocked his driver out, the legal case of that would have been a logistical nightmare and he still had some hopes of getting access to his funds later. 
It was almost funny in a karmic way. Almost as poetic as he had wanted pretending to be dead to be. Only problem was it was poetic in exactly the opposite way. The person that he hated most there sobbing the loudest. It’d be so much easier if it was Madeline sobbing. If she was sobbing, a faked death could be almost satisfying. If she melted down it could almost be worth it. Instead it was Jack Fucking Fenton. 
Numerous things were to be expected from his funeral, Daniel's arrival, yes, Maddie’s, undoubtedly. Even Jazz’s and Jack’s all expected arrivals. Some of them were more annoying than others but they were the requisite arrivals. Even his gaggle of ex flings was to be expected (they had to try and get their hands on the estate and money somehow. Well jokes on them he’d left it all to Maddie). No, what he hadn’t been prepared for was Jack’s incessant wailing and sobbing. 
The man was besides himself absolutely losing his mind right next to his goddamn open casket. It was getting hard to keep a straight face when he wanted nothing more than to leap from the plush silk sheets and throttle the man. His hands might not quite reach around the other mans thick neck but he could give it a good try he was sure. To put it simply and without intense amounts of rage he had mentally calculated for a lot of variables, not one of them being Jack of all people struggling to breath, choked out sobs instead of breaths coming from him as he hovered nearby. Not a single variable included being cried on by the most loathsome man in all of Amity Park. Every tear that fell on Vlad’s extremely expensive make up was another tally against the man’s. Had he no clue how hard it was to not flinch every time a drop of water splattered on his face? It was much harder than it looked he’d have him know.
Didn’t the idiot realize that he hated him? That he’d never cared for him? At least not since his death. 
Worse was when Maddie and the Fenton children staggered in, he could smell the alcohol on them from a mile away. It was tasteless! The smell alone nearly made him leap from his casket and throttle them where they stood (Maddie with exception of course). Have they no respect for the dearly departed? Have they no care for social decorum? Those Fenton spawn would never survive in high class society. Not like himself and Maddie. Oh how he wished he’d never gone for those pale imitations. They hardly kept up with all that he needed.
All he had to do now was ignore everyone and get through the funeral and he could be Plasmius full time. Pursue Maddie 24/7 with no worries of the law (though with some worries of Phantom). If only those blasted Fenton's would stop spreading rumours about him! And he knew it was them! Who else would say such outrageous things?
Okay certainly if one wanted to be technical Danielle was his daughter, but he hadn’t raised her. She was not his blood, she was not his in the most important ways.
Then there was that rumour about the-
“He-hey Vlad.”
Oh, oh no.
“I uh, I’m gonna miss you.” 
No no no no no! He couldn’t do this! He wouldn’t do this! He would not stand for this! He did not go out of his way to fake his death for this. 
Jack blew his big blubbering nose into a handkerchief so hard it honked. Honked! He was going to throttle this man at his earliest convenience. Getting cried on he could deal with, revolting as it was. What he couldn’t and wouldn’t deal with getting yammered at. That was not in the details. He did  not  plan for this.
“I- uhm- I know we weren’t really close these last few years.”
That was putting it lightly.
“Or really at all since college,” there was a wet laugh from Jack.
If that oaf ended up coughing slobber on him- Maybe if he tried hard enough he could die for real, that’d be nice. He’d never really craved death before, not like in this moment. It’d be so much easier if he just didn’t have to hear this.
“I-I know you didn’t really like me in the end.” 
Wait what? Had he finally gotten a clue? That was a first. Maybe his overt plotting had finally gotten through to the oaf. If Jack attacked him now that’d almost make this all worth it. He might even consider revealing he’s Plasmius if he did.
“I know I messed up, I-I must have hurt you, I don’t really know how, but- but uh, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Yes ye- He was what?
There was another laugh sob from his  ex  friend,” It’s probably too late since you’re uh- dead, but whatever it is I did to hurt you, I'm sorry. I hope,” he trailed off into a high pitched keening whine. 
Stop stop stop! This is not what he wanted!
“I hope you rest well Vlad.”
Footsteps receded away from him at that. 
Well what the fuck was he supposed to do with that? What in the world was he supposed to do with that knowledge? Internalize it? Grow and change as a person? He was (half) dead! He was well past the point of growth! He was beyond growth.
For all Jack knew he wasn’t coming back! For him and basically all of them he wasn’t coming back! The only person that would know was Daniel and maybe his sister if he told her. Maybe his brat friends if he messaged them. 
What did Jack get out of telling him all of that?
Certainly not money, the will had left everything to sweet Maddie, not him. Some sort of moral upper hand? A sense of feeling like he got one over Vlad?
No the dolt wasn’t that complex, his intelligence lay somewhere between absentminded and incompetant on a good day, there was no moral forethought. Yet why did the words settle so deeply in a corner of himself? Carving out a crevice in him that ached and burned?
“Did you hear about why Vlad couldn’t buy the green bay packers?”
Why? Why did it dig in his flesh? why when he’d thought he’d burned all of that away.
I'm Sorry.
“No, why?”
Life was easier when he was fully alive. College life was simpler. At least then he could fool himself that Maddie thought of him equally as she did Jack.
“Well I heard that he was stalking the team!”
What?
Why would he stalk them? He’d never stalked someone once in his entire life! (death maybe but he’d never admit that) he could buy all the tickets to their games he had no reason to stalk them!
There was no practicality in stalking them. Just like Jack had no reason to apologize to him! The idiot didn’t even know what he’d done to hurt him. He hadn’t ripped the apology from Jack. He wasn't on his knees begging from him. Hell he didn’t even know that he’d killed Vlad. Jack Fenton was as oblivious to the fact that he’d died back in college as he was to the fact that his own son was dead and playing hero as Phantom.
The density of the man was rivaled by no other.
But then why did he apologize?
“Did you hear?”
He got nothing out of it.
Why did it ache?
Burn? He wanted for years nothing more than to make the man sob and beg for forgiveness.
Why did having it fulfill nothing?
“About him and the Box Ghost?”
Would it burn just as painfully if he finally got sweet Madeline’s confession? Would it ring just as hollow?
“I thought it was the lunch lady ghost?”
No. There was something about Jack that made it wrong. Something about that blathering moron that lashed the words to him like a blade.
“I think it was both.”
And what the hell were they all blathering on about? What was all of this nonsense about Box Ghosts and smuggling and stalking? What were any of their empty little words? 
Did any of that really matter? Their blathering human rumours and petty squabbles when he, the very guest of honour in all ways but one was laying here before their very eyes on the precipice of something? He was teetering at some edge, he didn’t know what it was but he could just make out the shape of the hole he was almost toppling in, he just had to know what it was. He just-
“Well I heard-”
They heard- they heard! What did it matter what they’d all heard! Nothing that they heard could matter in the slightest not when he was dealing with this! Not when he was reeling with whatever this was! The weight and size of it completely overtaking him and yet none of them aware, he was suffocating being overtaken by the edge of knowledge some realization he’d yet to make and hee still couldn’t read it. All because they wouldn’t stop blathering on and on about what? Lies?
Stupid foolish tales spun by his greatest enemy!
By a child.
If it were not for the show and pageantry of it all, if it were not for the display that he’d set about around him he’d be yanking his hair by the roots, tearing it slowly strand by strand from his scalp. And if there was one thing that Vlad Masters was, it was a showman! He was dramatic and he was going to be so unabashedly it was not his fault that there was no one that yearned for his life to roll onwards like Jack. None of it could be held against him. He was a romantic! Everything he did was for  her.
Had it truly all been for nothing?
All these years.
Had she never really cared?
“Dirty money, attached to drugs. I wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot pool.”
All this time.
Did he really-
“Never even mentioned a daughter!
All his schemes!
Jack's tears were so warm when they cut the thick funeral makeup.
“So many secrets for him to keep.”
Dozens of attempts on his life!
Did he really  care? The water on his face was still warm.
“Wasn’t the cause of his crash a run from the law?”
“Would you all just shut up already!”
Silence blanketed the church as Vlad’s voice finished ringing out the wooden box still perched on its little stage. The casket was still shaking and the flowers were falling from the box as the hush grew sharper. Energy crackled from the casket shooting out and blowing the bulb above. Glass fell from the light falling gently on the flower petals. 
None one spoke, Danny’s father had a hand over his mouth, new large tears welling up. He looked green and pale, unlike most of the stunned guests he looked like he was about to be sick.
Danny shot a glance at Jazz, she nodded and jerked her head to the side. He ducked out. Things were about to get hairy.
There was no response from Vlad for a second as it seemed the outburst was done. Even the children who’d been shrieking with laughter and joy from their play for most of the funeral were silent. The falling glass and shaking box were deafening in the silence. Danny ducked behind a pillar and into the doorway that led to the restrooms. There was no one there. The closest person was his mom but she was standing silent and stunned not an eye tilted away from the casket. He couldn’t blame her.
It wasn’t everyday your incel stalker had a breakdown after he’d legally died.
He transformed. On the most part there weren’t many people near the casket. It was just a few lingering Exes, most people were near the refreshment table. His first line of action should be to grab the people near the stage and get them to safety. Then?
Well the rest was adlib. 
At least he had stored the Fenton thermos in his suit jacket (just in case). If only Sam or Tucker were there. Things were so much easier with their help.
Just as he was about to jump into the situation, the group of exes all swarmed Vlad. Shit he’d have to replan everything. He wouldn’t be able to get in an ecto-blast with out the fret of hitting one of them. He could always try Ice or a little storm cloud?
Just as a new plan was starting to formulate one of them (Maria?) slapped Vlad hard across the face.
Smack.
The noise echoed loudly across the church.
He grimaced.
Oh.
He did not want to get in the middle of whatever that was. He really didn’t want to get in the middle of it at all. Backing back into the bathroom he turned back to normal. Didn’t matter what the situation was, he was not going to get in the middle of a dozen or so angry exes and Vlad. It was his grave (even if Danny had helped him dig it a little) like hell Danny was getting buried with him.
“Vlad Masters!” one of the exes screamed,” you slimy pathetic excuse of a man.”
Yeah Danny was not getting in that, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to watch.
“Ow!” Vlad cried out, his eyes were glowing red, but aside from that he still looked very much the same. 
Weird, Danny didn’t expect him to stay in human form. He guessed it made sense if he changed into Plasmius the gig would be up. There’d be a lot of questions too. Knowing Vlad’s tendency to monologue he might even explain the concept of Halfa’s.
“M-Maria!” the older man stammered out,” darling hello-”
The woman smacked him again,” I’m Maggie,” she spat out.
Danny winced, yikes. Makeup covered Vlad's gaunt face but Danny could imagine the smarting red forming on his cheeks.
“Y-yes of course, how could I mistake your beauty, how foolish of me to compare the two of-”
The clearing of a throat interrupted as Maria herself tapped her foot.
“Maria!” Vlad exclaimed this time correct, even if taken by surprise.
“Yes,” the woman agreed,” but don’t mind me, what were you saying? Something about comparison?”
The billionaire awkwardly laughed as he seemed to take in the fact that he was surrounded by all of his exes. Phantom wasn’t even needed. Villain defeated right then and there by the rage and power of his many exes. Again Danny found himself desperate to find out whatever the older man had done to make everyone hate him so just to do the express opposite.
When he actually fully died he hoped his funeral wasn’t this… whatever plan he actually ended up with he just didn’t want this.
“So,” Jazz said as she settled next to him leaning on the pillar with him,” any idea what got him up?”
“Nah,” Danny shrugged looking over to his sister. She looked more sober now, less unstable on her feet.” He didn’t really decree what his gripe was this time.”
Jazz sighed,” so no winner yet.”
“Unfortunately,” he said,'' He also technically didn’t go ghost mode.”
Jazz groaned resting her head on his shoulder,” I wanted to go home, these heels are killing me!”
He stuck a tongue out at her,” shoulda transed your gender like I did,” he teased quietly.
“Ha! Really funny Danny,” she flatly commented with a roll of her eyes at the tired joke.
“Ah meany,” he pouted.
“You walk in these heels at a funeral,” she complained again,” At least if he went full ghost It’d be socially acceptable to ditch them.”
He bit his tongue remembering a rant that Sam had gone on recently about heels and social pressure. How she’d then thrown one of her platform boots at Tuck when he made a remark. Jazz probably wouldn’t appreciate his lovesick ramblings about them.
“Looks like we'll just have to continue to watch this unfold.” he said instead with a sarcastic twinge.
“Oh what a shame!” Jazz said flatly,” sucks to be us.”
Danny snickered as Vlad continued to try to dig himself out of his hole. How he wished Sam and Tucker were here. Unfortunately for him they were both far too busy. Ah well he’d just have to video it all for them.
How unfortunate for Vlad that he was made to sit through his own will reading, and how fortunate for Danny Fenton that he was the one that got to watch it all go down. In the entire time that he and Vlad had been nemesis he never knew just how much he wanted exactly this to happen. Actually if someone ever suggested this happening younger him probably wouldn’t have appreciated just how funny this was. No fourteen-to-fifteen him was far too invested in things like learning his powers and finding out just how observant the rest of town was. Also looking cool. Adult him however? Freshly 21 and college attending him? Oh he could enjoy the fuck out of this situation.
There was some minor debate among some guests over how ethical it was since Vlad's ‘ghost’ was now here to view the reading. Some point could be made that it might be weird...
“Isn’t it rude?” one family member had suggested.
But...
“It might be in bad taste,” another guest had even pipped up.
No one really liked Vlad anyways
“Oh no!” Morgan said,” I want to know what it says, and who better to see how accurate it all is.”
Oh how glad he was that those few were beaten out. How glad he was that the crowd was seeing blood. That the group was too nosey and invested in the drama to really get caught up in such small things as ethics.  How grateful he was that the exes were in half a mind to Kill Vlad a second time.
Fortunate he was, that his luck was finally turning up. It might even be the universe trying to pay him back for all of the shit he’d been dealing with since he was fourteen. Return investment on the untimely youth death. Honestly if it was it was a pretty bang up start all things considered. He’d have to find out if there was a ghost involved in the control of karma. They might just end up with an edible arrangement on their lair door. Older adults loved that shit so ghosts should too.
“Hm,” the lawyer said when they entered the room with the walking corpse of Vlad masters. The office was small and hardly held everyone, but snugly, far too snugly for comfort they all fit on the other side of the large desk.
No one said anything to the lawyer. Whether the man had been privy to the rest of the funeral or had just arrived Danny didn’t know but he had to admit this entire situation was bizarre even with full context. Not many of them knew ghost rules and the only ones that did were in either stunned or gleeful silence. There was no objection to the fact that Vlad had dragged his body with him, not a voice descenting on the fact that his form hadn’t shifted. Not a single attendee seemed perturbed by the fact that Vlad was not really a ghost.
Even the paid bounty hunters didn’t know how to discern ghosts from humans judging by their stunned expressions. Though he’d love to watch one of them attack Vlad in the middle of a church. Stabbing a man in the house of god might just be a big sin, though Danny wasn’t sure.
“Well this is unprecedented,” the lawyer commented,” never in my time have I ever seen a dead man rise for the reading of his own will.”
Vlad grumbled but no one could make out the words as the two exes on either side of him glared. 
Oh how fortunate Danny was indeed, never before had he ever been so glad for his untimely death. If it all led to watching Vlad squirm like this still trying to keep his alter ego a secret? Pain and strife, the many attacks and attempts on his life were worth it.
“Well if there is no protest,” the lawyer said. For a moment Vlad looked very much like he wanted to protest, but the glares of the exes kept him silent and made him snap his jaw shut. Danny knew what went into keeping a corpse looking fresh. Shame the mortician seemed to have skipped wiring the jaw shut. Then, Vlad didn’t seem to need physical wires to keep him silent and well behaved, his Exes were all doing that job very well.
“In that case,” the lawyer sounded queasy, if Danny wasn’t so invested with the drama unfolding he might have turned to verify. “Then I believe we will begin.”
The man started out by reading the long legal preamble, the paragraphs upon paragraphs of titles and information about Vlad that was included. Danny understood that him being the owner of VladCo was technically important for the will but did he need to include all of his ten titles at the company in the will? It just felt excessive. ‘Ceo, entrepreneur, founder, head of decisions, etc.’ did anyone care? Leaving out the most important title of ‘asshole’ was the biggest mistake of his will.
“Yes I think we get it,” Monroe said, her accent clipping the words in stiff professionalism. Bless her for cutting the pain short. “I do have,” the woman glanced at the cousin who was still holding her hand,” A more important social engagement to attend to with Carmila.”
The lawyer stammered,” yes of course ma’am my apologies.”
“It reads:
‘First, I hereby denounce all previous wills made by myself, Vlad Masters, no matter nature or kind.
Second I Vlad Masters hereby appoint,” the lawyer paused making a face before he continued,” Madeline Fenton love of my life as the executor of my estate, networth, and-” the lawyer paused,” the ownership of my beloved cat ‘Maddie the cat, the third-”
“Huh, I guess you listened to my suggestion after all and got a cat.” Danny muttered as at the same moment his mother reached her breaking point
“You what?” Maddie was standing out of her chair, indignation flaring in her eyes,” Vlad! I don’t want any of this.”
“But but,” Danny tuned the man out as he made the normal declarations of love. Trite at this point his mind was already trying to entertain itself. Fast forwarding this would be nice, if only his core was time based. But no he got Ice, and Weather, and other weird disconnected powers. He was electrocuted to death! Cruel that he didn’t get cool electrocution powers.
They were still arguing when he tuned back in. Loath wasn’t a powerful enough describer for this love diatribe that Vlad spewed every three to five business days. His mom yelled something back, a few of the ex wives even chiming in agreement. Well at least they didn’t hate mom that was a plus.
He shot Jazz a look as he repositioned his phone camera to get a better shot.
‘This again?’ he tried to communicated with his expressions. Tuck usually laughed when he tried and Sam told him he looked to constipated.
She shrugged and nodded as if to say  ‘this again.’
“I am happily married! I told you I won't leave Jack for you!”
Tuning out the conversation didn’t seem to leave out many details. Everything was falling exactly into the same patterns as always.
“Maddie please-” the billionaire tried to beg.
This made the woman snap,” no don’t Maddie please me! You have not respected my decision to marry Jack since it happened, well guess what Vlad it’s too late for you! You were never even an option!” she turned to Jack and put a hand on his shoulder. her voice much softer when she spoke,” come on honey we’re leaving. Kids?” She turned to the two Fenton children. The both of them stood with no protest. Like hell they were going to end up on the wrong side of their mother right now. Mission orientated as she was they had no doubt she could commit Vlad's murder and get away with it. legally she might even considering the fact that he was technically a 'ghost' right now.
Just as she was about to step out the door she turned,” oh and ladies, don’t worry about a legal battle I’ll work with our family lawyer to transfer everything to all of you.”
There were some small thanks from the stunned Exes as the office door latched shut behind them.
 The air in the car was-
Well the word tense didn’t really sum up the air but it was the best approximation that Danny had. It could have gone worse, he supposed he could have genuinely ended up fighting Vlad again. Chances where that if he fought Vlad while he was Plasmius that the formerly rich business mogul would then use the moment to out Danny as Phantom. Not just his family but all of the church. If he had to rate the evening it was definitely not as bad as he expected. About a six or seven, depending on his critical he was being.
“Uh so who won the bet?” he whispered to Jazz. he wasn’t worried about his parents, Maddie was soothingly rubbing circles on Jack’s back as the man drove. That and they were sat in the back, sometimes the front seats struggled to hear them at a normal level forget a whisper.
Jazz furrowed her brows,” I guess neither of us really won, he didn’t even go ghost.”
Nodding, he thought back to the man’s loud entrance,” He also didn’t say what rumour got him up.”
“So do we both lose?”
“I guess?” he looked over to his parents,” so we both tell them?”
Jazz sighed leaning back in her seat, hair dramatically laying behind her,” yeah I guess.”
“You don’t hav-”
Jazz cut him off with a snort,” no it’s fine, my things not really as big all things considered.”
Fair, she had a point with that. Their parents already knew that she was interested in men and women but still revealing partners to them was always weird and nerve wracking. The first time he’d introduced Sam and Tuck as partners and not friends he’d expected a lot more questions. Turns out if you hunt ghosts for a living nothing is really weird after that. They just bought him new sex ed books. Sentiment appreciated but still weird considering he could google that sort of thing now.
“So Danny,” his mom said, her fingers tightened on her phone. They were lucky she got old brick Nokias instead of those new Smart phones. She’d break them in a week. Jack wasn’t paying them much attention as he drove, he seemed to still be shell shocked. Hopefully he didn't crash, okay so maybe he didn't always like car rides. Sometimes the looming threat of a car crash really messed with his obsession.
“Yeah mom?” he asked.
“I was talking to some of the ladies.”
“Uh huh?” wherever she was going with this he didn’t like the tone.
“And imagine my surprise when one of them tells me Vlad has a daughter.”
“Weird right,” he said. Please stop, please stop! He begged, wherever this was going it was nowhere good. It would have been better if he’d just died in that accident. Screw whatever he thought back when he thought his luck was turning up. He was still the most unlucky bastard in all of amity park.
She hummed in agreement,” and imagine my surprise when they said she was your cousin.”
Danny didn’t have a response to that, Jazz was stifling a laugh next to him.
“And then,” she said,” she showed me a picture of her.”
“Really.”
“Yeah, Danny," there was a pause as she seemed to collect her words," why does she look like you pre transition?”
“Does she?” sweating wasn’t really something he did so much anymore, not since his core started cooling his mortal flesh, it was nice sometimes. But it didn’t stop nervous sweating. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Hadn’t- Danny,” his mother sighed,” sweetie if you want to start presenting as a girl again you can. We won’t judge you.”
Wait what, “ what?!” 
Shrieking loud bursts of laughter came out of Jazz. 
“Jazz!”
That set him off, it was just so ridiculous.
“Honey I’m serious,” his mom sounded so upset her tone lost. She really was trying.
He couldn’t help it, it wasn’t his fault. It was just so out of the realm of what was happening. Man his parents really didn’t have any of the facts.
“Danny?” his father asked the tenseness in his shoulders from the funeral leaving way to confusion.
Him and Jazz made eye contact and the laughing got so much worse. If being part dead didn’t make him need to breathe so much less he’d be choking. He’d die, it was just- they still didn’t know and somehow that was all the funnier. God he was calling Tuck and Sam right after he explained everything they were going to get such a kick out of this. Especially Tucker.
“That’s not-” wheezes high and stringy, cutting him off, he was struggling even with his ghost lungs.
“Danny my boy,” Jack asked quietly,” what’s funny?”
“We’re trying to support you Danny!” his mother exclaimed.
Finally he quelled the laughter enough to speak,” okay okay,” he whipped a tear from his eye. “I’ll explain it all it just probably isn’t something dad needs to be driving for.”
“Danny what do-”
“Just trust me okay?” he grinned at his mom in what he hoped was reassurance. 
She sighed and looked at her husband, Jack furrowed his brows and the pair silently communicated before the man hit his turning signal.
 The small side road was perfectly out of the way enough that no one would be able to peer in. It was some half abandoned picnic area but none of them reached for their seatbelts to leave the car. It was just the closest spot they could stop.
“Okay,” he started giving Jazz a look, she nodded comfortingly,” Remember how the portal didn’t work at first?”
It took them a moment but they nodded in remembrance. 
“Right well I died.” it was best to just rip the Band-Aid off.
“What?”
“Danny- honey you’re not dead.”
He thought so at least, he sighed pinching his nose,” I need you guys to wait for questions till the end okay?”
“But honey you’re not dead!” she didn’t sound so sure as she looked him over.
“What your mother said my boy! You’re sitting right there!”
Danny groaned,” guys please?” there was a pause as they looked at each other and finally finally agreed to wait till the end. “Sam said I should check it out, see if I could fix it. I put on my suit, and,” he made a buzzing noise with his tongue,” the button shocked me to death when I hit it. It was dark so I didn't see,” he looked to the side. The trees outside were swaying peacefully in the wind. Jazz put a hand on his shoulder, he took a steading breath and clenched the hand with the thin invisible scars. “It was an accident but,” he turned back to them resolution in his eyes,” I died that day, When I woke up, well, brace yourselves okay,” he let the tugging cold of hic core shift and change his appearance.
There was silence. He’d expected something but, no, even Jazz wasn’t saying anything.
He cracked an eye open, his parents were staring at him dumbfounded. Yeah that was about par for the course.
“Well this happened and now, I’m half Ghost,” he admitted,” everyone in the ghost zone knows that’s why there were always so many attacks at the school.”
“Half?” his mom asked despite herself.
Danny nodded,” yeah I still age, and need to eat and breath... mostly on that last one. It’s kind of cool I can go invisible,” he demonstrated before changing back,” and phase through things and float,” he demonstrated both in succession allowing the belt to glide through him as he hovered up an inch. “Shoot Ecto-blasts… probably best if I don’t do that one in the car though,” he laughed.
“Okay,” his mom said.��
“Okay?” he asked.
His father nodded,” sure Son, we love you. It’s weird but, well we hunt ghosts for a living.”
He laughed,” yeah fair enough.”
"I-" his mom looked over at Jack," We're proud of you sweetie, that's a lot to undertake at so young."
he chuckled," it wasn't so bad, I had a lot of help," he grinned at Jazz," Between her Sam and Tuck I don't know if I would have lasted half the battles I did."
"You knew Jazz?" Their father asked his tone soft and slightly hurt.
She smiled softly," yeah, I walked in on him transforming. Thought it was best if I let him tell you guys."
"Part of the apprehension might have been the dissection thing," Danny addmited.
"I- honey-" his mom put a hand over her mouth in shock.
"I'm sorry son," His dad said," it was closed minded of us to assume stuff about ghosts we didn't know."
"Well you weren't always wrong. Just usually."
“So ‘Elle?” his mom prompted before Jack could pepper in questions about what the got right.
He sighed,” yeah her full name is Danielle, technically she’s the only living clone of me Vlad made.”
“Only living Clone?”
“Vlad made?”
Man he had a lot to explain. Years of events just gone unsaid. Some small part of the divide between them was shifting, growing smaller. 
“Is now a good time to tell you guys I have a girlfriend?”
Danny choked on a laugh. Not to long after his parents followed after the tension disrupted, Well at least he had Jazz to help explain. Sam and Tucker too when they weren’t busy. It'd be a mess and weird to finally clear the air between them, but at least he knew they were proud of him.
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