#HES A GRASS/ICE TYPE KINDA GUY

[nick-close]

Glenn Pokémon PITCH

-Roggenrola (obviously)

-Weedle (funny) (beedrill is also funny)

-one of the eevees (leafeon? Weed dog? Could see umbreon tho.)

-delibird (Christmas, his main guy)

-swirlix (munchies)

-gulpin (gulpin on deez nuts)

-darumaka (fire and little guy)

-meloetta (singer and also he deserves a mythic Pokémon ppl r confused how he achieved)

(Before someone says ‘there’s a literal weed cat’ I think Glenn is a dog guy which I hate but is true. Also he had leafeon first.)

He doesn’t battle them they just hang out. Also probably has an oddish but I already gave him too many guys. I can also see Tandemaus (ik they’re mice not rats but yk)

[moth-p]

Tpot 12 ramble because if I dont infodump to anyone I will unironically fucking explode

Spoilers obviously.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OKAY. SO

1. Since in my tpot 11 ramble I discussed Three on point nr.3 i think its only fair that I talk about One first.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT?

Okay so they went in a completly different direction with one that I thought they would. I thought that she was gonna be a co-host, but honestly? I like the direction they took her character in. We didn't really have a true "villan" in bfdi like. Ever? I think? I mean yeah there are characters that are sadistic, antagonistic, live in your walls and make bad decisions but I don't think we ever had a real villan. A threat. Because you CANNOT. CANNOT tell me that One doesn't have sinister intentions. She's unnerving, and if I learned one thing from the Shrek franchise its that you dont fucking make deals with people that are clearly evil (im talking to you Fanny, Ice cube and possibly anyone else who made a deal) also, she knows a lot more that I think she has the right to. I mean, yeah. She's the stalking type, i get it but she came out of the fucking moon at the END END of tpot 9. (I think?) So thee fact that she knows so much about the contestants is kinda scary. I think the obvious motive for her is uh.. Three. I AM STILL STANDING BY MY POINT THAT THE HAND FROM TPOT 11 IS THREE. I KNOW EVERYONE AGREES ON THIS BUT. I SWEAR.

Also one is very silly. So uhh. Yeah

Point 2, the teams. I will be very honest I did not expect a team swap so soon but then again Just not had exactly three people so I don't think it would be very fair (No teardrop what are you doing here no no no you are not a part of this discussion shoo shoo /aff)

I thought I would dissect them one by one.

Point 2.1 - Death Pact yet Again (DPYA)

Ill be honest? Probably the best team. I like every single character on here.

Gaty is literally top 5 of my favs

Astrobiology is on a team together (yet) again, were winning. I love them both separately too, esp Black Hole after the recent-kinda-still-ongoing-arc. Tree's sass is something I need.

Pin! One of the "Top 4" of the original season. I love her, she was the first character I humanized, and she is actually acting like herself because early Tpot did her dirty as hell.

Marker is silly as always,

And Fanny. Need I say more? Besides, she's the only one we have actually witness make the deal with one. She's getting a lot of screen time lately and I am NOT complaining.

Oh and also Robot Flower I guess. If my tpot 13 predictions are correct, Basketballs deal with one will help her go back to normal. Good. I miss her actual self. (And Flower, I love you. Honest to god I love you. But you did really act like a bitch in the first season huh. Still top 5)

Point 2.2 - Team 2/Two

ERASER. I am so sorry you got separated from your boyfriend 💔💔💔 Probably my favorite from the team, his "rivalry" with Bottle might be interesting.... if she doesn't get voted out next. (I think she will) I think his dynamic with Snowball might be interesting since they are already friends. I think. Right?

Book and Taggy! To be honest JnJ are feeding my heart wholesome yuri and I am very happy. Books dynamic with Ice Cube will be fun to explore because uh... yeah. Also Taggy is developing which is great. Before tpot 10 I thought of them as more of a Naily 2.0, so I'm very glad that JnJ did something with them. Thank goodness they didnt get eliminated, I was kinda worried.

Snowball. Big guy. My man. I was hugely neutral about him before TPOT but god he kinda stole my heart. His relationship with grassy is so cute, and I'm begging for some interactions between him and Ice cube.

Grass boi. Thank you for not being annoying as f-ck anymore. I think youre cool. (Though he is the one I would care the least about if he god eliminated.)

Icyyyy... glad you got your legs back girl.... uhh...

Same as with Fanny. remember kids! Don't make possibly soul binding contracts with unnerving strangers!

Point 2.3 - 🎶🎶/BAGGED

Pen. I'm gonna say the same thing but I am so. So sorry that you got separated from your boyfriend 💔💔💔. His rivalry with Need- NEEDLE, I SAID NEEDLE was cool and I like how he got more competitive. (I voted for him Btw. If he gets eliminated I WILL. Cry. Vote 4 pen propaganda

TV, this one is kinda short because uh.. I dont uhh. Really. Care? I think he has a lot of potential but I dont really remeber him doing anything huge sooo

Needy! Oh. Oh no. *gets slapped into outer space* I like her. The thing with Pen was cool and I just generally enjoy her. Shes the gaslight gatekeep girlboss of the group and honestly? I hope she gets a bigger role.

Tennisball. How many times will I have to do this bit. I am so so so so so so sorry you got separated from your girlfriend 💔💔💔💔 you malewife. Its like actually the first time he and GB weren't on a team together and I think it could be interesting to see him try to kinda. Cope with that. (And also with being a leader, my boy was not made for this kinda stuff)

Basketball! .. dont make deals children.

Also, she is being set up to be an important character (obviously). With the robot flower stuff, her thing with one and rivalry with gb that i think the writers forgot about (or did it get resolved. Idk) she has had a shit ton of screen time and will play a major role in the one stuff.

And Bottle! I uhh. Yeah! Your thing with Eraser is interesting I guess! ... (She will get eliminated)

And finally (but not really)

Point 2.4 - CloudYAY

This is the last time I do this. Gb. I am. So, so so so so sorry that you got separated from your malewife boyfriend 💔💔💔

But seriously I love GB. Your team cant handle your girlboss levels. I seriously hope they will listen to you because if it turns into the 8ball situation again I will do something. (Seriously, why do people hate GB as a leader that much? She is bossy as hell, yeah, but like. Shes a pretty good leader imo)

WINNER! My non-binary pal. My sassy gender neutral gay i mean gay i mean guy. I really hope they do something big with your character again. The clock thing was pretty fun and I hope to get to know them more. Besides, Loser is like. Free. He's probably still being a celebrity like usual. I hope we get to expand even more on their past together. (I voted for them btw)

Barf bag, my dear. Jnj, please do something with her. (Ooh, but Moth, tpot 9 this tpot 9 that she played a big role in tpot 9) DONT CARE. GIVE ME MORE CONTENT OF HER.

Donut. .. so. I really like donut. His friendship with Barf bag is cool, his connection to four back in bfb was cool and i generally like him as a character. That being said.. i dont have high hopes for him. Don't get me wrong, I DONT want him eliminated, but... i dont know. Its a hunch, okay? I dont feel good about this.

Yellow face. You racist motherfucker. You took Icy's legs, donut's arms (possibly creating two traps for one, con fucking gratulations) and you also live inside my fucking walls. Despite what I said i think hes hella entertaining even if his morals are uh.. far from great.

And finally, Pillow. If i had a second guess to who would be getting eliminated, I would say its her. She has had a shit ton of haters recently and uhh.. i can see WHY.. I would love to explore her relationships within the new team. But if she gets eliminated then eh,, whatever.

. Whew, finally we got trough that, huh?

3. . No. NOT AGAIN WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING THREE AGAIN N-

So. In my Tpot 11 ramble i therorised that Three was locked away in Fours for possibly doing something terrible, and while that theory still stands...

Why did they close the door?

I think Three uhh.. lets say.. isnt feeling the best in terms of sanity right now. I mean, the whole vibe of their cage is creepy as hell. Maybe they went insane enough to develop the need to stay there? I dont know

They could have just closed it because they are afraid of four, but the whole vibe off the scene suggests otherwise (but then i am a deltarune fan and we all know about the ending of chapter 1 being a fakeout?? Whatever. sooooo)

4. Four is acting kinda strange. Is it just me? His voice sounds different and they got a very unnerving vibe from them, kinda like one does. Also why do they need the couch? I am kinda concerned.

Okay thats it its almost one am i have enough bye

[champion-level-astroturfing]

[A video is posted...

It starts out being filmed by Shardy; the phone is clearly in his hand, taking in the aisles of a large Pokemart before it angles downwards to focus on Blue Diamond the Glaceon. The little guy is walking next to his friend, demure in a bright green harness, and dragging with him an entire cushion. It's a smooth blue, with a happy little cartoon Eiscue on it, and big enough for him to comfortably lie on.

"Doing okay with that?" asks Shardy's voice, incredibly amused. Blue makes a muffled chirruping sound, perfectly happy with his burden, and Shardy laughs.

"Alright, well, that's your treat. Time for Her Majesty's."

He moves the phone up to show where he is: the Grass-type aisle, in front of a row of shelving units stacked high with all shapes and sizes of plant pot. The fancy kind he originally picked out is visible about halfway up the second unit.

"She's gotta like one of these at least," he says, with possibly unwarranted confidence. There's the sound of a Pokeball opening, and he pans down to show Queen Fezzerie the Third, ten seconds out of the ball and already poised to throw a tantrum.

"Hey girl," says Shardy, and when her head snaps up immediately with a gaze of utter displeasure he corrects to "Your Majesty Queen Fezzerie. The third. Sorry. Hey. Since you didn't like the pot I got you before, I thought you might like to pick out your own? That way it's definitely exactly what you want."

The little flower 'mon considers for a moment, then imperiously reaches her blooms upwards in the universal signal to be lifted. She's small enough that Shardy has to go down on one knee to easily provide a hand for her to ride on, and that if nothing else seems to please her.

Once raised to the appropriate level, she studies the offerings with a critical gaze before something catches her eye. She gestures with some excitement to one of the upper shelves; the camera follows the gesture and settles on something grand.

It's a rather large pot, shaped with elegant curves and moulding around the rim, painted with abstracted flowers and leaves. The quality is evident.

Shardy makes a faintly dubious noise and zooms in on the price tag.

It's just as high as you might expect.

Shardy isn't exactly poor, but that's a big chunk of change. He whistles through his teeth.

"Oh boy. Your Majesty, you sure about that one?"

The Roselia bristles a little, and nods firmly.

"Look, it's pretty, sure. But it's kinda big for you, maybe? I think maybe that one over there would fit you better-"

Fezzerie lets out an insulted squeal, and stamps her foot.

"Hey, there's a bunch of other really good ones that don't cost three trillion poke, promise. Look- ouch!"

Tired of being sweet-talked out of her expensive tastes, Fezzerie has upped the ante. Tiny purple-tipped spines have popped up across her body, and she is giving Shardy's hand and arm a thorough pummelling with every Poison Point she has.

"Ow ow ow fuck ow fucking fuck that hurts-"

The view blurs and spins as Shardy drops his phone; it lands face down and for a moment everything is black, before it flips back up and spins round to capture the scene. Now that the ghosts are piloting the video quality is infinitely worse, but what's happening is still clear enough.

Shardy is on his knees, clutching his hand; it looks swollen, strangely coloured. Queen Fezzerie III is on the floor again, but she is being backed into a corner by Blue, who is puffed up in furious offense, fur glittering with tiny ice crystals, teeth bared, his cushion forgotten. A woman in Pokemart uniform is approaching with rapid steps, concerned.

"Sir? Sir are you alright?"

"'Sfine," Shardy mumbles. "Blue- careful, don't- don't hurt her. 'Sjust Poison Point, that's not... 'snot deadly, is it?"

"Oh, ouch," the Pokemart employee says, sympathetic but also somewhat relieved. "No, sir, it's painful but we'll go and get you an Antidote and you'll be right as rain- um- well, you should- your hand-"

Her voice drops back into worry as Shardy, who has been trying and failing to get up, lifts a hand that has now swelled to a grotesque size on the end of an arm that's visibly trembling and goes, "Huh."

Then he falls face-first onto the Pokemart floor, and the video cuts out.]

[celestialholz]

So, The Harvest...

Oh, you thought I wasn't coming back for you after spending five hours on Surrendering Sunflora, did ya? Thought you were slipping under my radar? Guess again, my spicy little friend...

The Harvest is of course Brassius' other named Artazon sculpture, and it tells its own compelling narrative, because... well, of course it does, have I taught you all nothing? Imagine this guy does something straight for 0.3 of a second.

Fellow gay theorist mini Holz will be demonstrating these for you today:

For simplicity's sake, we'll call these A, B and C respectively. Now, I've commented before that C is the perfect example of The Harvest being part-Brass, part-Hass and part-Arboliva, because of its colours, spikiness and form, but what's a story with only its ending?

And so, if one must be relevant to types, so must the others.

This is, as were the Sunfloras, allegorical. I've had to take the meanings from these, as representations of their types. But I've said it before and I'll say it again - this is what artists do, and this is also what people who makes game do. They ask you to consider their minds at the time of creation, and that's kinda of my whole deal, ripping that shit open like it's a goddamn Christmas present.

We start, therefore, with A. A's colours represent the Fire and Electric types - a passion, a spark, a zest and a joy in living. In colour theory, yellow is happiness, and red is fire - a blaze of emotion. And yet, it's circled by pale blue 'olives' - in Pokemon terms, the Ice type, and a type our dear Brassie is weak to. This is his beginning - creativity, smothered by the cold of depression. We know he was saved by Hass, which leads us to...

... B. B is saturated now in Ice - the cold has crept in, the depression and illness is defining him more than the joy in art. Except... now it's joined by pink. And this pink is damn close to the Psychic type, a type filled with knowledge, mental strength, and sunshine allegories - Solgaleo and Solrock, anyone? Or, you know, a man who looks far too much like a Sunflora...

B, therefore, is Brass finding Hass, at his lowest ebb. Hass is getting under his skin, showering him in praise, showing him that he's worth all the self-belief and self-confidence in the world, healing him... which is where the Dragon-type indigo comes in. This time, Hassel orbits him; he circles the outside, understanding, encouraging, boosting that mental strength by showing Brass how worthy and brilliant he is. Which leads to only one conclusion...

... C. C is harmony. C is the man we find before us in the game, the end product of all that boosting, all of Hassel's kindness - the confident, established artist, the man who has allowed colour and vibrance back into his life, orbited now once again by Electric olives - the spark's back. They almost look like miniature suns. Imagine that...

Grass and Dragon, in perfect complement.

Where this gets even more fascinating is that whilst you can find several versions of each colour variant in Artazon, the first place you encounter them is in the central plaza - and whilst A and B host a confused couple, each wondering where their love is...

... C stands separate, unconcerned.

Because C? C is anything but alone. It doesn't need one to wonder where the other is - they're right here, and they always will be.

Just to put the cherry on the cake of this adorable saga, though, we must head a town over. Game Freak so deep in their lore mini Holz has to cross Paldea to piece it together. Fucking spectacular, you funky little company.

Welcome to the central plaza of Levincia instead, where we find this homosexual lassooing his own C on a digital ad board with his own whip. And what's he lassooing it away from? The purple - or, in this case, the Poison type.

... You know, that one type that infects, that creates toxicity. One of those other types Grass is weak to. Nothing toxic will destroy this harmony, not on this man's watch; he will never regress back to the darkness and the depression whilst he has that Dragon beside him, whilst that spark remains.

[unamusedyams]

because I am Normal, here's my attempt at giving Kazuma and Ryunosuke pokemon teams.

KAZUMA'S TEAM:

Themes: Samurais/blades ; intimidating and headstrong ; bit of darkness.

Gallade - A Psychic/Fighting type with blades on its elbows. Its Pokedex entries often talk about how it jumps to protect others.

Samurott - A Water type samurai Pokemon like come on. But also could be replaced with Milotic because I want to give him more pretty Pokemon.

Froslass - An Ice/Ghost type mostly for type coverage. The kimono-esque look is a bonus but you could also argue something something icy glare(?)

Runerigus - A Ground/Ghost type. It has the ability Wandering Spirit which reminded me of when he "died" and got amnesia ooo.

Meowscarada - A Grass/Dark cat Pokemon. Initially this was Sceptile for type coverage, but then last minute I wanted to add a cat for Nyasogi. Then I realized Meowscarada is a cat with a mask (Nyasked Apprentice?? >:o) and yeah that's about it.

Kingambit - A Dark/Steel samurai Pokemon this is soooo Kazuma-core✨ Its his ace with Supreme Overload ability let's go.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

RYUNOSUKE'S TEAM:

Themes: Dragons ; bit of an underdog story ; friendly looking but powerful.

Gyarados - A Water/Flying Pokemon but a blue dragon in spirit. It starting from Magikarp then evolving into a super powerful mon to kinda represent turnabouts. To be honest, I did think of having Palafin for that instead but I think Gyarados' ✨aesthetic✨ fits him better.

Flygon - A Ground/Dragon type for coverage but also he needs more dragons on his team! That's about it really rip.

Maushold - A Normal type mouse Pokemon.... CHUUNOSUKE MY BELOVED. Also FOUND FAMILY (LITERALLY.)

Darmanitan - A Fire/Psychic (zen mode) type based on daruma doll. Hehehe.

Heracross - A Fighting/Bug type I put here because... I have a soft spot for him. He's just a friendly :] guy!! and arguably that's also what Ryuu is. Could also be swapped for Decidueye bc archery or something.

Dragonite - A Flying/Dragon type that's his ace. Its Pokedex entries says that it likes to help people out lost at sea and bring them to shore (metaphors...)

[joelsreligion]

Don't Tell (part 1)┊ dbf!Joel x Reader

(a/n) K this is part 1 of the series :D. This chapter's shorter than what I intend the rest of them to be but I just wanted to set the scene and introduce the characters n what not. The other chapters WILL have smut (how exciting ik) but for rn it's kinda just an intro so bear w me. The next part will be out VERY SOON! K bye. Enjoy!

(Summary) (3.3k) You come back home from college and reunite with your dad, Joel, and Sarah

(Warnings) very minor talk of oral f receiving

It was the middle of June and you had been back home for about a week. You’d just finished your third year of college and was back home for the summer to spend time with your dad. You’ve been far away since you left. Not super far like across the country or anything, but far enough that it became too heavy to drive down from your school to your dads house so often; so you guys settled on weekly video calls and daily phone calls. You missed him though. You guys were super close and he called you every chance he got. He updated you on everything; his hobbies, his friends, the pasta he cooked occasionally, the lake house, and the recent promotion he just got granted. 

You laid back slouched on your couch with your bare feet on the ottoman in front of you; popsicle in one hand and phone in the other. The monotone sound of some commercials filled the room and the window was opened to try and filter out some of the hot air with the cool breeze from outside. It smelled nice. There was a warm, cozy, sitting-outside-by-the-lake tone to the wind that reminded you of past summers you spent fishing with your dad. The sun wasn’t too far away from starting to set and you heard a loud slam of the front door.

“Hey kid c’mere!” your dad yelled from the kitchen

You kicked the ottoman away, set your phone off, and pushed the swinging door open with your free hand. 

“Grab a bag from the car yeah?”

“You went grocery shopping? I thought you said were gonna go to the mail office or something.” 

You put on some sandals by the door and waited for him to set the bags on the counter so he could follow you back out to the driveway. 

“I did. Jus’ figured we could make some burgers ’night n watch the game later. You didn’ have plans did you?” He grabbed two bags from the car and put one in your hand. He walked over to the passenger side, grabbed his phone, and locked the car as he followed you back in the house. 

You didn’t have many friends in your area. All the time you spent here you were hanging out with your dad. All the time you spent at school was spent in study rooms. It’s not that you weren’t social, you were! Sometimes too social. But your dedication to school got the best of you and you often sacrificed your social life for your academic one. 

“Nope” you smiled. This was the first time you guys were getting the chance to do something together. Since you told him your plans to stay home for the summer, he cashed in on all his favors and sick days at work to spend time with you. You were everything to him and he was more than happy to take time off for you. 

You set the bag of vegetables next to the sink and continued working on your ice cream.

“Alright, cool. Hey do me a favor yeah? You wanna water the lawn while I prep the stuff in the backyard?” He subtly tilted his head towards the front of the house and gave you a pleading smile. 

“Dad it’s barely a lawn. It's all yellow. The grass’s dead”

“Which is why it needs to be watered” he counters 

You tilt your head down and look at him with a ‘seriously?’ type of expression. He pretends to read the receipt in his hand to avoid the eye contact.

“We’re inna drought” you try justifying.

“Watering the front lawn once isn’t going to change that fact, kid.”

He put the receipt down on the counter and looked at you with a soft expression.

“Please”

Your mouth morphed into a smile. You were so happy to be home. 

“Fine, just cause you asked nicely.”

You walked out to the side of the house and started to unravel the hose from the faucet. The sun began to set so it wasn’t super hot out, but still warm enough for your shorts and tshirt to feel a little heavy on your body. You turned the faucet on and walked over to what was left of your lawn and began to water it. You kinda got lost in the movements, it was slightly relaxing just to watch the water fall on the patches of grass and tune out your surroundings. As you moved onto the surviving blades of grass next to the sidewalk, you saw a dog run towards you. You were so out of it you didn’t even realize it was Mrs.Moores’ until he jumped up at you and landed with his front paws on your thighs. 

“Hey Moose. What’s up.” You crouched down on the floor and started to rub his belly when he rolled over. Sarah ran towards you with a smile and started to apologize right away.

“Sorry, sorry. He loves you, he can’t help it.”

You laughed and stood up to give her a hug.

“No it’s fine, the feelings are mutual. What’re you doing with Mrs.Moores’ dog?” 

“She’s out of town till Saturday and asked me if I would take him out and just walk him. My dad got home yesterday and wanted to give your dad something so he just came with me around the block” She explained

“Your dads back? Where’d he go?”

“He was down in Houston for a week n a half. He had a job out there he needed to get started and just handed it over to some of his employees.”

Joel and your dad had been best friends since before you were born. They met in middle school and went to the same schools ever since, it was kind of like if their lives merged into one at the age of 13. They had birthdays a week apart, and had kids a couple years apart so they could “grow up together like they did.” Your dad and Joel honesty saw themselves more like family. They hung out so often that you felt like they had more of a social life than you did. You truly didn’t mind though. You loved hanging out with Sarah and you felt lucky to have her as your unbiological (but what felt biological) sister. And you loved seeing your dad with his friend, he laughed more often and it seemed to relieve some of the stress he always carried. 

From the corner of your eye you noticed a familiar, tall and dark featured man walking towards you two. One hand had a level ruler in it and the other hand was swinging at his side. His smile lit up his face and he extended his arms as he got closer to give you a hug.

“Heeyy, look whos home!”

He looked different. His hair was browner and his eyes were darker than you remember. His shoulders framed his torso in a way that made him look threatening and his height didn’t help that thought. He closed his arms around you and your arms reached around his back to try and return the hug. Your breath caught a little in your throat when you felt how muscular his back was. 

“Hey, how are you?” you asked smiling

Joel let go of you and took his place next to Sarah. You couldn’t look away from him. His eyes were so captivating and comfortable and you felt a little flutter in your stomach that you barely noticed. 

“I’m great. Jus’ got home yesterday n wan’ed to return this to your dad,” he held up the ruler “..is he in there?”

“Yeah, he’s in the backyard. He’s making burgers if you guys want any.”

“Oh sick yeah, I’d love one” Sarah mused from Joels side. 

“Yeah go inside, he should be back there. I’ll finish up out here and join you guys inna bit.”  

“Sounds good,” Joel said.

You finished watering the grass, or what was left of it, and wrapped the hose back in its place. Your mind was occupied with thoughts of Joel. Nothing specific, just.. him. His nose, his laugh lines around his eyes, the way his hair fluttered in the cool Texas wind, and his build completely stealing your entire focus. You noticed things about him you never noticed before and he made you feel something he never made you feel before. There was a knot in your stomach and you felt a light blush threaten on your cheeks. 

What the hell’s happening. 

There’s no way you’re.. attracted to Joel?

Noo no, nope. Not Joel, the man that drove you to school in the mornings. The man that hosted your birthday parties in his backyard when your dad had to work. Or the man that gave you your first driving lesson. He’d read you bedtime stories when you slept over his house when you were a child and Sarah couldn’t sleep. Your dads best friend, Joel. No, absolutely not, you can’t. 

In the moment in which you entered your home, washed your hands in your kitchen sink, and as your heart started to race, you made a decision. You cannot have these thoughts for him. It’s so foreign. He was like a surrogate parental figure to you. It would completely mess up your life and everyone elses. It would ruin your dad and you’d lose Sarah, these things you knew for sure. You can’t have feelings for someone that you wouldn’t have the slightest chance of being with, and if that man is someone your dad trusts with his life, then all the more reason to stay away. 

But.

But what if? What are the chances he might’ve had similar thoughts? What if you don’t lose Sarah and what if your dad doesn’t find the fault in that pairing?  

No chance, the rational side of your brain cut in. Anyone with the smallest amount of common sense would be able to see how messed up that is. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? Will he tell your dad if something happens? Can he even see you as someone else besides his daughters best friend? 

No fuck that. You think. I’m not a kid, this is ok. But it isn’t. Every bone in your body is telling you this isn’t ok and you’re trying your hardest to convince yourself that it’s justifiable. 

No, ok. There are no thoughts, there are no feelings, nothing happened. Literally nothing happened. Maybe I was just surprised to see him. I haven’t seen him in 5 years, it could be that. It could be the fact that I haven’t seen him or even thought about him at all…. But god he looked so good. 

Thoughts of his toned arms engulfing your body and his natural musky scent when he hugged you filled your mind. Your skin suddenly had goosebumps and you felt a shiver on your lower spine. You dried off your hands and made your way to the backyard. As you got closer, you could see Joels side profile through the window. He was leaning on the counter behind your dad as he grilled burgers and Sarah played with Moose on the grass. 

You didn’t realize it, but you’d stopped walking. You took in Joels frame and paid attention to every detail to try and paint this moment in your memory forever. The way his brown hair looked golden under the setting sun, his nose bringing your attention to his face and the movement of his lips making you aware of the sudden heat between your legs. You looked at how round and muscular his arms looked under his dark green shirt and you were mesmerized by the way he had his arms crossed below his chest. His legs were also crossed and you noticed your chest start to rise a little faster than you’d like. You felt the same warmth creep up your cheeks and spread down your whole body. You squeezed the back of your couch for some extra stability and tried to slow your breathing. 

You couldn’t look away from him though. It felt like at any moment he might disappear and you wanted to try and remember every detail about him for your own sake. Just then, he felt you staring and looked in the house. 

It was quick.

3 seconds.

 That’s it. 

He looked you in your eyes, quickly glanced his eyes up and down your shape, and then averted his attention back to the conversation with your dad. 

Oh god.

You had to go outside now. Right now. You didn’t want him to think there was any reason you were standing there like a weirdo just staring at him. You found some composure and opened the sliding door out to the backyard. The slightly warm air hit your skin and it suddenly felt too cold to be wearing shorts. Your hair blew back from the sudden exposure and you blinked quickly to try and help your eyes recuperate from the breeze. 

You walked over to your dad and tried your hardest to avoid Joels’ stare on you. You turned your back to Joel and leaned over the grill next to your dad and pretended to be interested in the grilling.

“Are they almost ready?” You asked. You were nervous all of a sudden. Your voice fought back a slight quiver and your hands threatened to tremble. 

“Yeah they’re almos’ done kid. Joel was just about to help me grab some plates, you wanna help?”

“Oh, uhm…” you could feel Joel look at you. The blush on your cheeks and the slight rise of your chest were the only things you noticed. Not really, is what you wanted to say. “..maybe next time. I wanted to talk with Sarah for a bit n catch up.”

Please say ok. Please say ok. Please say ok.

“Alright, I’ll letchu know when they’re done” Your dad said while flipping a burger.

You smiled and pushed away from the grill. You turned around and noticed that it hadn’t just been your imagination, Joel was staring at you. His eyes met yours almost immediately and you were reminded of the heat between your legs. You tried to ignore it though. You didn’t wanna think about it too much. You gave Joel a little smile and tried to act as if nothing had happened. You smiled, he didn’t, he just stared at you. His eyebrows slightly furrowed and the two lines between them made an appearance. His eyes were so soft and delicate but also piercing and endless. You forced yourself to look away from him and set your eyes on Sarah sitting by the pool with Moose. 

You made your way over to her and tried to look as normal as possible. You talked for maybe a couple minutes and then you heard..

“Sarah we gotta get goin’” Joel yelled from the grill. You turned at the sound of his voice and Sarah made a disappointed noise from the floor.

“What? We just got here, the burgers aren’t done yet.” She scratched Mooses’ stomach and you stared at Joel with a slightly confused look, but he didn’t look at you. Your dad was plating the burgers and you wondered if he even noticed what Joel had said.

“Yeah I know, I forgot we had to do somethin’. We’ll come over another day, come on, lets go.” 

He looked uneasy. Not extremely so, but you noticed it. His fists balled in his jean pockets and he looked like he really wanted to leave. Sarah got up from the ground, dusted herself off, and turned to face you.

“Sorry we didn’t get to hangout much today. You can come over tomorrow though if you want and we’ll watch a movie or something.”

“Yeah no problem, I’ll see if I’m free.” You offered a light smile and gave her a hug. You followed behind Sarah as she walked over to her dad and you watched Moose rub up on Joels’ leg. Your dad took a break from the food and walked over to Joel.

“Think about it n let me know alright?” Your dad said, patting Joels shoulder

“Yeah sounds like a nice idea. I’ll letchu know.”

“Let him know what?” Sarah questioned

“Her dad..” Joel nodded towards you “..invited us to the lakehouse next weekend.” He looked at you. Joel looked at you and you looked back at him. He watched you fight off the squirm you tried suppressing and you swore you saw the slightest look of contempt pull at his face. You looked into his eyes for another second but immediately looked away. It was too much, looking at him like this. Your head filled with dirty thoughts of him going down on you and using his fingers to make you beg.  

Shit. 

“It’d be a lot o’ fun man, I haven’t been up there since last summer n it’ll be good for the girls to hangout more y’know?” Your dad said “We could go fishin’, light the fire n what not.”

Your dad was always a little more sentimental than Joel. Joel was hard to read. If you didn’t know him the way you did, you would’ve thought he was a stone-headed smartass who rarely cared about anything. But you did know him. You knew that even though he barely expressed it, he was just as sentimental as your dad and that he loved being around you guys whenever he got the chance. 

“Yeah sounds good. We’ll get together soon and plan it out.” Joel said. 

“I’m so excited ohmygod.” Sarah said with a huge smile. She picked Moose up from the floor and started to rock him back and forth. 

You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t say anything. You felt a little excited, sure, but you didn’t know if it was the best idea to be in a house together with Joel for a couple days given your newfound infatuation. Joel looked at you when he noticed how silent you were and saw you fidgeting with your fingers. 

“You guys should get goin’. Don’t wanna make you late to whatever it is you have to do.” Your dad started to walk out your guests and you stayed back near the grill. They got to the sliding door and Sarah looked back at you. You both smiled and waved and then they walked out of sight. 

When they were gone, your dad finished up the burgers just in time for the game to start. You both walked inside with your food, sat on the couch, and watched the Rangers play the White Sox. You usually liked watching the games with your dad, but you couldn’t focus this time. You were barely hungry and your mind kept wandering off to Joel. 

You thought about how hot you felt under his stare, how his rough calloused fingers might feel guiding your hips to his use, how his mouth might know exactly how to play with your pussy just right to make you so wet and bring you over the edge. 

The warmth between your legs grew into a pulsating mess and you shifted in your seat and squeezed your thighs to try and alleviate the ache. Your dads eyes didn’t leave the tv and you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. You didn’t want to touch yourself. It felt too strange, rubbing yourself to a man you've known your whole life. It felt wrong and outlandish. 

At least I know it’s wrong, you told yourself.

You washed your hands and sat on the hood of the toilet seat for a couple minutes with your head in your hands. 

I’m ok. I’m… I feel ok. I’m fine. You thought

You walked back out to the living room in time to catch the second half of the 4th inning. You took your place next to your dad and tried your hardest to focus on the game. By the 9th inning, you were dozing off to sleep and your dads shoulder supported your head. You fell asleep to the sound of the announcer calling out strikes and the cool breeze rushing over your legs. 

[jils-things]

umm rhys pkmn team ideas 🩶

i had this all sorted out AWHILE back with my friends but figured hey why not archive this thought here ehehehe also im really enjoying my new "style" in infodumping so i like to see more of it

this team doesn't have to be THE canon if it conflicts with the story that the devs plan, but if i had to expand his character a lil bit, this is how it goes!

so rhys is not exactly the kind of champion to focus on one type (i.e: wallace and water types/steven with steel types) but he would be like blue and red who has a variety! except that rhys focuses on two types - ice and steel type.

why ice and steel - well, for one i think those types are super underrated (and i would be lying if i said its not boring to reuse the fire water grass cycle lol) and i kinda the design philosophy in gym leaders how their types reflect their personality in a way. ice types are cool, calm and collected. "chill" if you will. steel types are determined, bold and dare i say potentially misleading (jasmine)

i see rhys as a man who is very calm, humble and sweet (ice) but when time strikes where he must act serious (and its not just battling, say - whatever happened to carmine), he's a stern, almost emotionless man who will do whatever he can do get what's needed.

so these two types bounce off him really well! also, its fun to break the stereotypical "if x is a fighting type then it means they gotta be a martial artist" - no rhys is not a fuckin KNIGHT as a steel type user nor is he wearing A SCARF OR SKI MASK as an ice type user lmao

ok heres the actual team tho

his ace is steelix (courtesy of nero suggesting that and sandslash) i wouldve added lucario but nah that guy is so overrated (and he would absolutely lean on the "he's riley's son" narrative AHDHSDJSJ) so i went with bisharp instead. i also did not want to pick metagross (even if its such a good pick) because..... f/o association AJSHDHSJA

funnily enough some of the 'mons pokedexes had a lot to do with leading a team or showing superiority which is like... haaa... champ privilege SHDGDVSJSHHA

froslass is there because her pokedex says this:

"It freezes hikers who have come to climb snowy mountains and carries them back to its home. It only goes after men it thinks are handsome."

anyways our running gag is that rhys is a handsome motherfucker and everyone is literally a fan of him and this froslass said 👍 /lh

[liverpool-enjoyer]

footballers as pokemon types

OOOOH THIS IS PERFECT FOR MY POKEMON LOVING ASS. requested by @imjusthereforideasagain !! thank you sm for requesting <3

leo: psychic and normal type!! not implying its the reason for his skills, rather the way he hyperfixates on football reminds me a some psychic types. mans is using calm mind 24/7. also normal type, cause i feel like he rlly is Some Guy. hes OBJECTIVELY the goat n has more God given talent in a strand of hair than i do in my entire body, but hes also a dude you bump into at publix while in line for a pub sub.

ney: electric type!!! now if you play/watch pokemon you know pretty much everyone who trains a certain type kinda has a similar personality. ney definitely gives electric type. hes always "!!!" what can i say his personality is jus,,, electric ;))

jordan: hendos a fire type!! as captain he has to inspire his team n be their guiding light in a way,,, n also use will o wisp to burn em when they get outta hand.

virgil: ice and steel type!!! ice cause hes as calm (and cool) as you like. however ice is literally the WORST type in the game defensively, n that aint virgil at all. hes the goat of defenders, an abolute wall. a STEEL wall you could say. like literally there are eighteen types in the game n steel resists ELEVEN of em. i realize this leaves him quad weak to fighting n fire but IGNORE THAT.

luis: the mans a dark type. i love this lil blorbo but the man can play DIRTY. n the dark type is all abt using underhanded tactics to win (its actually called the evil type in the original translation lmao), with literally every move having some secondary effect. and how can i forget: bite is a dark type move (for some reason).

andy: a water type!!! like water takes the shape of its container, man can ADAPT. waters also the most abundant type in the game and has been paired with literally every other type. jus like how andy is friends w every one of his teammates!!

trent: grass type!! now what does trent do (well,,, besides defend). he ASSISTS. he DELIVERS. grass is an AMAZING supportive type, w moves like stun spore, grassy terrain, n how could i forget LEECH SEED??? not to mention cotton guard which literally raises your defense by THREE stages instead a two which is more than any other defense boosting move in the game.

sergio: he is a fighting type. what,,, what more do you want me to say. jus ask mo salah (sorry luv). hes kinda like if you skill swapped gallade to give it the contraty ability n used close combat, where instead of a defense DROP it jus,,, gets better every time.

milly: a rock type!!! hes become quite formidable over the years, n this is way overthinking but it could also parallel how rock type gym leaders tend to be the first you face in the game as theyre meant to show new trainers the ropes, jus like how milly does w the younger players of lfc!! also PLS gimme credit for holding back n not going w the "milly is boring" joke n making him a normal type. cause i did think abt it.

klopp: ok papas a GHOST TYPE. fun fact this is my favorite type in the game n the best in my opinion. anyway. klopp is so intelligent he feels like an old soul, passing on old ass wisdom. he works subtly, like how gengar sneaks around in the shadows before you actually see it. this MIIIIIGHT be (most definitely is) based off @liverpoolfanfiction 's AMAZING supernatural au now that i think abt it.

alisson: a fairy n steel type!!! he is jus,,, THE sweetest, how could i not slap the fairy typing on him. hes the kinda guy who knows his friends are upset based on lil tiny cues, like how the hatterene line detects strong emotions. n hes a steel type for the same reason virgil is. the most defensive type in the game!! resists more than half the fuckin types!! no ones getting through our keeper!!!

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 22- Part 1

So, in order to battle Cain, I want to do at least a bit of level grinding, especially now that the level cap is higher again. I’m thinking Lv. 34-35? That sounds reasonable. Plus, it’s Tuesday, and the Trainer at the Battle Corner today is actually somewhat reasonable from what I’ve looked up, so this should be relatively painless. I’ll be heading to Grand Hall in order to-

…Uuuuh, sorry, am I interrupting something? They’ve got some kinda ritual going on? Cool, okay, I’ll check on that later-

Oh- shoot, new Trainers too? Alright, well, I was gonna rearrange my team at the Grand Hall PC, but I guess I’ll go back to Lapis Ward and do it there real fast.

At any rate, here’s the team I’ll be going with for the time being, and you might notice a familiar face in there as well:

Yup, Bloom’s back! Figured I could use a Grass-type again, and I think Decibel could use a break for now, at least until the level cap’s at a point where she’ll be able to evolve (which will be two Badges from now, based on the level caps displayed on the Trainer Card). Granted, Bloom himself still isn’t at his own full potential and won’t be until I can find a Shiny Stone, but he’s still partially evolved, so it’s an improvement.

For now, I’ve swapped his Rose Incense with the Exp. Share to help with leveling him up to the others’ levels in the coming battles. Though, I have noticed this blonde lady in the corner who wasn’t there last time I was here…who is she?

Okay, this must be something to adjust the game’s difficulty…I think. But despite the chaos we’ve seen so far, I’m not yet at a point where I need to lower the game’s difficulty, so I will not be using this lady’s services.

Alright, random flirting aside, um- what’s this Growlithe doing over here?

Oh- wait, this is Ms. Craudburry’s house, isn’t it? Aha, the police must be here to investigate the robbery- welp, time to get as far away from here as possible! Back to North Obsidia Ward!

What does this guy have to say about the ritual happening in front of him?

Oh, so it’s got something to do with that Link Stone thing people mentioned before- again, I’ll check it out later. Right now, it’s fighting time!

Alright, not too scary- one or two Zen Headbutts should beat it.

I mean, Kirin didn’t level up from that, so…I guess this battle counts as meaningless, since nothing changed? Maybe this second battle will be more meaningful.

Okay, I know where this is going. Into Glare we go!

She’s got Crunch, that’ll make short work of Wonder Guard…even if it tries to hinder her with Confuse Ray.

And this is a job Riptide can handle pretty well.

Ice Fang, here we go!

Man, lots of people flirting with Xera today- and since Cain is around, I doubt that’s gonna fully let up any time soon.

Next

[crystalelemental]

Unit Teambuilding - Eusine

Ah, Eusine.  Morty’s friend chasing after Suicune.  Apparently he’s just gonna show up with it now, and in shiny form.  Masters fulfilling all the Johto dreamers.  But now that he’s caught his dream, he must answer the question everyone faces when succeeding at such an all-consuming life goal.  What next?

General Overview Eusine comes in as a Water-type striker, which is a pretty loaded category. Eusine offers some interesting tools, including Whirlpool for Trap damage, and Blizzard as coverage.  Ice being such a rare offensive typing, this is a helpful option to have.  Whirlpool also kicks off his natural multiplier, a 50% bonus to move and sync damage against trapped opponents. Think Lysandre's Burn multiplier, but for Trap. Eusine also packs interesting tools in Piercing Gaze, so Whirlpool and Blizzard will never miss, and Recharging Strike, so his AoE attacks pay for themselves in CS.  To add to the fun, Eusine has three other excellent selling points.  First, his Buddy Surf is spammable no-penalty AoE with a 20% flinch rate.  While the flinch is negligible, the damage is quite good, being 160 base power.  Second, his trainer move is Anni Lillie but better, immediately capping all offensive needs and applying Condition Nullification to the party. Lastly, this guy's grid is insane.  2/5 packs everything you need for a really good Blizzard DPS set, and 3/5 offers up to 200% more sync damage, for a whopping total of 250%, and up to 60% more move damage for 110% total.

Eusine's cons are few, but notable.  First, while Buddy move is spammable, he needs to attack twice to activate it, which means you're not realistically getting any attacks in until he's under 50% HP.  Second, his Buddy move is just kinda okay for 4-bar damage, and because it's already no-penalty, damage doesn't compress, making his single-target DPS much worse. This is exacerbated by the Recharging Strike struggle of getting only one bar back in Gauntlet, on a guy with relatively limited speed control.  The slowing down of his DPS is also notable because you need to be re-applying Trap constantly.  Without it, he's not dealing the same amount of damage at all.  Lastly, he does have serious sync issues.  The major multipliers he has access to still do not push him above SEUN Siebold, and because he's a Striker, EX hits all foes, negating the benefits of Buddy Surf.  Which, outside of the spread damage, is a really bad Buddy move. 20% is a horrible flinch rate, even if it is AoE.

All that said, I promised I would talk about this in the Adaman breakdown, and Eusine is a great time to do it.  Many players have (correctly) identified Eusine as the sync pair to skip.  However, they cite his typing as the reason. Water is plentiful, we don't need more Water.  That's not the point.  Setting aside that off-typing has been a thing since the 0.5 anniversary when SS Red dropped, we have Gauntlet streaks, limited CS, and another new mode next month, all encouraging repetition of types and skills.  A sync pair's overall effectiveness matters more than type, and by effectiveness, Eusine is good.  If you like him, pull for him, he'll put in the work.

The bigger question to ask yourself is whether you have the resources.  Yes, Eusine is very good.  But is he as good as perma-Sun/Grass Rebuff/Def debuff/phys tank Adaman?  Is he as good as HailZone/triple debuff/special tank Irida?  Is he as good as Silver's Tech nuke and rapid-fire debuffing?  To me, the answer is no. Eusine offers the least compelling tools of the month, and that's the reason to skip.  Don't be fooled by the notion that type oversaturation still matters.  It doesn't, and hasn't in a very long time.  It matters less now than it ever has. The real question is whether his tools are better than his immediate competition, including the rerun of a top support in SS Morty.  And personally, I don't think he is.  He did a good job, but he's still the last winner.

EX and Move Level Eusine’s EX is almost hilariously unnecessary given how his DPS works, but his sync is also so good that it’s like...the added stats are really nice, you know?  So I’m torn on EX but ultimately it is very unnecessary.  Move Level is, as a result, also unnecessary.  DPS is mostly confined to his natural passive.  2/5 is useful for Blizzard, while 3/5 is useful for the sync power that will carve a serious niche for Gauntlet.  I will caution, there is absolutely nothing in his 4/5 or 5/5 grid worth talking about.

Team 1: Eusine, SS Kris, SS Ethan This is the team.  For all his faults, Eusine combos beautifully with the Johto trio, getting 80% move damage bonus and matched theme skills.  Kris gives little stat benefit, but does provide Rain and stacks of moves up next.  SS Ethan also provides AoE trap effect, which is divine.  The only problem is how slow Eusine is to access his buddy move, and how this means he’s effectively wasting Kris’ charity.  You have to kinda delay Kris’ decision to spam trainer move.

Team 2: Eusine, Irida/Lucian, BP Morty Blizzard focus.  Irida is the best pick, thanks to Mind Games and the Zone/Hail combo, although Lucian with debuffs is a solid option as well.  All you need then is BP Morty for defensive support.  This is the benefit of Eusine; he literally wants nothing out of his support.

Team 3: Eusine, Tech Gyarados, Skyla Budget Water.  Tech Gyarados sets Rain, and has a solid flinch rate to help disrupt.  Skyla has defense and speed.  You can probably get away with BP Morty, but I'm trying to give options that do unique things.  In this case, Skyla is a better partner for a lot of Gauntlet stages, due to how limited Recharging Strike can be there compared to CS.

Team 4: Eusine, Lodge Adaman/Kali, Tech Gyarados/Surge Gauntlet structures.  Lodge Adaman isn't a terrible partner to Eusine, offering the defensive buffs and a bit of speed on the side, as well as fixing up issues of Cobalion's -2 special attack.  Alternatively, Kali can be used for Stat Leech strats with Latias.  Tech Gyarados is a general flinch bot that also supplies Rain for Adaman, while Surge is an option to paralyze and debuff special attack against Tornadus and Uxie.  Eusine's trap effect is super valuable for Uxie, and Piercing Gaze answers Latias' evasion crap nicely, so long as other stats are debuffed.

Final Thoughts Eusine is fine.  I think he's even pretty good.  His Ice DPS is surprisingly high, all things considered, and his Water damage isn't terrible either, although calcs do show his sync below SEUN Siebold and DPS is below Kris.  It's the AoE thing that sells him, but like a lot of sync pairs with this no penalty DPS effect, his single target damage tends to be less surprising.  At least his sync is strong to compensate in Gauntlet.

[eridan-ampora]

gotta figure out pokemon types for the ancestors or whatever

handmaid: ok honestly she is an enigma. handmaid understanders where are you

summoner: flying & fairy are options ofc? normal's a contender too

psiioniic: electric, steel, psychic

signless: god damn idk. maybe you just walk in and he gives you the badge. would saying fire type be mean.

disciple: i think fighting would be cool here but there are also just like, so many normal type cats

dolorosa: bug, grass, ice, ghost... she's got some Vibes.

redglare: all i can think is dragon and this is 100% just because of her lusus. unfortunately googling lawyer pokemon has gotten me nowhere. flying? ...salamence & like, unfezant might be kinda neat actually. & then there's also the "justified" ability that mainly fighting types have... hm.

mindfang: bug, psychic, dark, poison

darkleer: ground, rock, steel, dark again,

highblood: okay i know there's actual clown pokemon but i feel like there's More We Could Do With This Guy. ghost?

dualscar: poison? dragon? water? the seahorse pokemon are obvious but i feel like clawitzer kinda fits the vibe too honestly

condesce: water? dark? psychic again??? cmon 😭

[ghostliebites]

self-indulgent TF2 infodump <3

OK so I’m gonna start off with: this is all stuff involving Rookie + a fun TF2 AU I’m doing, it’s not like a canon lore infodump!

Rookie Stuff

alrighty! So last night I finished a proper ref for Rookie, complete with scars n’ everythin’ (yippee!!) and today I’m gonna work on his mimic outfits for each class!! prolly won’t get em all done today but even one or two is a good start for once hehe. I’ve got ideas for a lot of em but I’m better at coming up with stuff as I’m drawing it tbh :P

I!! don’t know!! if I’ve talked about how Rookie’s class works so!! here is an explanation:

BASICALLY the Rookie is the “Ultimate Backup”, he’s WAY more useful in lore TF2 as opposed to game TF2. in the game he’d either be OP or completely useless, broken either way lmao. HOWEVER I HAVE STILL INDULGED MYSELF IN MAKING HIM GAME STATS, VOICELINES, WEAPONS, ETC cuz that’s fun af and I’m tryna make him somewhat useable lmaoo.

ok ok, so Rookie’s class basically mimics the other classes (wait wait, hear me out, please-). he can mimic whichever class is needed, in lore there’s only one of each yk? so with Rookie, any merc can effectively be in two places at once. however Rookie is like a slightly nerfed version of whatever class he mimics, he’s got way less experience than all of them but is a very fast learner. in-game, Rookie would be able to swap his skillset without having to die but it’d have a 20sec cooldown (30 when carrying intelligence) and when mimicking, he has a similar loadout to the class he’s mimicking. HOWEVER he can only customise his base loadout (so just Rookie, not mimicking a class) and his mimic loadouts are fixed, he pretty much has lesser versions of each class’ stock weapons. he also doesn’t get rid of his melee weapon when mimicking and pretty much gains 2 melee options (unless mimicking Heavy, he doesn’t pick up an extra melee then). some mimics come with speed changes, most don’t. Also Rookie’s stock weapons are kinda crap!! but that’s cuz if you’re playing him, why would you not mimic?? then there is no point in playing him!! also his outfit changes to reflect the class he’s mimicking so he’s not a total wild card, the opponent can tell what his skillset is when against him!

ok that was more than I intended to write, maybe I’ll make a post in future more abt Rookie if people are actually interested lmao

Pokemon AU!!

ALRIGHT!!! So I’m making a silly pokemon AU where all the mercs are gym leaders with the exception of Medic who is the pokemon professor and Rookie who is just a guy!! going on his pokerman journey!! Saxton Hale is the pokemon champion and the elite four is the Administrator, Miss Pauling, Maggie and Zhanna. Gray Mann is the “bad guy” and has a whole army of robot pokemon, he feels like it’s his right to be the champion and so plans to take over!! all his pokemon are like robot versions of the gym leader’s strongest pokemon!

oh also Medic has an albino pidove called Archimedes and Sniper has a hoothoot called Sir Hootsalot (naturally). Also all of them have 1 mega besides Medic cuz I love megas and also they’re meant to be a challenge to overcome!! they’re gym leaders and the champion league!! of course they have megas!!

Gym Leader Types + Teams:

Sniper (flying): Pidgeot (mega), Noctowl, Skarmory

Scout (electric): Manectric (mega), Jolteon, Eelektross

Soldier (fighting): Lucario (mega), Conkeldurr, Machamp

Spy (dark): Sableye (mega). Bisharp, Honchkrow

Demo (ghost): Banette (mega), Aegislash, Dusknoir

Pyro (fire): Charizard (mega Y), Heatmor, Arcanine

Engie (steel): Metagross (mega), Bronzong, Excadrill

Heavy (rock): Tyranitar (mega), Gigalith, Golem

Pokemon League Types + Teams:

Saxton Hale (champion): Aggron (mega), Golurk, Pangoro, Drapion, Krookodile, Darmanitian

Administrator (dragon): Garchomp (mega), Hydreigon, Noivern, Haxorus

Miss Pauling (fairy): Mawile (mega), Granbull, Togekiss, Clefable

Maggie (grass): Venusaur (mega), Whimsicott, Breloom, Tangrowth

Zhanna (ice): Abomasnow (mega), Beartic, Mammoswine, Walrein

and then ofc, Rookie has a silly team: Zorua, Meowth, Gengar + Smeargle. he starts off with a Zorua who was his childhood friend and eventually collects the others. all of his team have moves that reflect Rookie’s class in the TF2 universe. Zorua not only can transform but has the move copycat, Meowth has the move assist, Gengar has the move metronome and Smeargle has sketch (which is permanent change but at some point he does sketch the move mimic hehe >:)). and at some point Rookie aquires both a keystone and gengarite so he can mega his gengar yippee!!

final note, Rookie develops a crush on Sniper when he gets absolutely ruined on his first attempt to beat him in a gym battle. Sniper then develops a crush on Rookie when Rookie returns a while later after more training and wins the gym battle :]

[a-tale-of-legends]

So I know I said I would redesign Marlon and I will at some point ( well technically I already have a long time ago lol, but I wanna see if I can do anything different - if not then I'll show y'all his old redesign),BUT! I don't like his team. I think it kinda sucks. It does not feel like a good final gym leader team. So I changed it :D

The one thing I noticed about Marlon is that he seems to really like his bulky water types. So I took that and ran with it. And what's a more fitting bulky water type pokemon than Alomomola! Truthfully, fit a very casual playthrough of pokemon,it's movest might make kids want to tear their hair out, especially when it's naturally so bulky, but I do think at least some challenge is good. Then again, I gave it flip turn, which is not in gen 5 so maybe it'll be easier to deal with since I don't think the so in pokemon battles is that smart in switching pokemon, especially for wish support. But I digress, Alomomola's job is mostly support, rain dance for boosting water moves + swift swim Seismtoad, flip turn for pivoting and wish for more support. And the gym leaders signature move in scald, which I think really fits Alomomola's style ( especially when it gets the burn, further supporting its team mates). I.... probably should have given it a damp rock, but I think it's fine? It's going to be flip turning ( I know, I know, let's just pretend there's modern moves here-) to its other teammates, so if rain stops, then it could always set it up again. Leftovers might be a much, but I didn't know what else to put.

Wailord is one I was silly with. I wasn't 100% sure of what I wanted to do, so I gave it gem boosted water spout, scald bc that's the TM Marlon gives out, and then. Rest and sleep talk. Cause why not. It's very silly, albeit kinda ineffective if Wailords hp is down. Water spout would be null by that point and scald.....well scald wouldn't be bad, but it's a 50/50 chance sleep talk would choose it. Kinda flimsy movest but I. Didn't know. Honestly, looking at it now, bounce probably should have stayed. Yeaaaaaaah, I think it would have worked. And I don't like bounce, but hey. I thought this movest was silly, so why not. Though I will say, rest was kinda playing into that bulky water type thing. Might be counterintuitive with wish though.

Siesmitoad was originally going to be a lead before I realized Alomomola existed. My bias in having a hazard came through here, but when thinking about Marlon as a character I'm not entirely sure if that's his style? I'm not sure lol, but I kept it anyway, with toxic. The rest was easy, liquidation and earthquake being STAB. If rain is still up, this guy is pretty deadly! Probably should have given it a rindo berry tho.

Carracosta was honestly really simple. Shell smash, 3 moves, and a sitrus berry for extra health. I will say, I probably should have used aqua jet, bc this thing is not fast naturally, so it could still die easily. ( Realizing I didn't EV the thing whoops lol). Aqua jet is not as powerful, but the utility of it could be much more useful.

And now for Marlon's ace, Jellicent, which honestly is almost 1 to 1 with his challenge mode(?) variant. The only difference is that I gave him ice beam instead of energy ball,to deal with grass types. I get why Mantine was added in his challenge mode team, but I wanted to stick to the theme here. Plus, Marlon's team was already a " click thunderbolt and win" team, and I wanted to try and disrupt that. And now....well now it's a " click a grass type love and win team" but I do think it's better than before!

And yeah! As you can tell from my ramblings, there's still some improvements to be made with the move slots but I think overall I think I like what I built.

[lavendertownfreak]

Yo! Found my old Trainer card from when I attempted the Johto league! Most of these lads live with friends/family now… except Una of course! Shortly after the Indigo League busted my ass is when I went here to Lavender Town and caught Penny as a Spinarak. Memories… Introductions:

Snek is my Feraligatr. Big cuddle bug. Very friendly. Kinda unfortunate that his kin show affection by biting.

Nature: Adamant

Ability: Strong Jaw

Moves: Crunch/Ice Fang/Waterfall/Dragon Dance

Wings is just kinda a guy. I mean this in the most affectionate way possible, but Wings doesn’t have much personality. He USED to be super shy, but when he evolved into Pidgeot, he just kinda became… stoic I guess. Good fighter tho.

Nature: Serious

Ability: Keen Eye

Moves: Air Slash/Twister/Hyper Voice/Roost

Una is my baby girl. I love her. This is the journey where I caught her! She’s very friendly, likes hugs, but is actually quite calm and nice.

Nature: Calm

Ability: Rain Dish

Moves: Surf/Sludge Bomb/Ice Beam/Barrier

Soka is a good lad. Very strong battler, and actually still kinda lives with me (he chills out in the area behind the gym, tends to the garden we have in honor of Mr. Fuji). Strong will, and is more than willing to suplex Groudon if the need arises.

Nature: Jolly

Ability: Guts

Moves: Brick Break/Strength/Megahorn/Aerial Ace

Redwood is a little goofball. Think of him as the class clown of the party. Still very nice tho. He has something of a green thumb (for reference, he joins Soka in tending the Garden). We joke that he genuinely thinks he’s a grass type lol.

Nature: Jolly

Ability: Rock Head

Moves: Head Smash/Wood Hammer/Earthquake/Focus Punch

Silver is a strange one. I found her in the fuckin Goldenrod Radio Tower of all places. She’s a little asshole, and I say that 100% affectionately. She’s my little lightning wizard lol. Had Silver living with me and Vi for a bit, but now she just kinda… is around. If you ever see a Misdreavus with a hair bow here in Lavender Town (specifically by the cemetery and/or gym), that’s probably Silver. If she tries to smite you with the wrath of Thunderus, then that is DEFINITELY Silver.

Nature: Sassy

Ability: Levitate

Moves: Shadow Ball/Psybeam/Thunder/Dazzling Gleam

If I find any more old trainer cards of mine, I’ll post em here! Oh, also here’s Penny’s set if you wanna know:

Nature: Careful

Ability: Merciless

Moves: Poison Fang/Leech Life/Night Shade/Sticky Web

[lesbiankakyoin]

here's a top 10 of kids named after pokemon i have met over the years:

1. wooper. very funny guy, took the name in stride. his parents were paldean, so i think they had the poopoo mudfish version in mind when naming him which is even funnier to think of.

2. spewpa. she liked to collect bug types, maybe out of kinship, and make little terraria for them to live in. they were beautiful for her age, everybody liked her for them. real sweet kid, we still talk every so often - and now she's a researcher of bug types!

3. serperior. we were middle school classmates and she was the vespiquen type, but actually way nicer than the average. she probably knew an actual vespiquen would kick her grass-type ass, so she stayed humble.

4. karrablast. incidentally had a friend named shelmet. i heard they got matching name changes to escavalier and accelgor, but i dunno if that's true or just someone in the class reunion group chat shitposting.

5. scyther. made justice to that name because BOY was that a hyperactive trigger-happy kid. the kinda person to literally go around running with (safety) scissors (because we were 9). i hear they calmed down as an adult and got an office job in castelia city.

6. voltorb. one of the angriest most spiteful people i have ever known. she exclusively trained ground types and that probably classifies as self-harm if you ask me. heard she eventually changed her name to beth or something.

7. falinks. had a twin also named falinks.

8. alolan ninetales. like, not just ninetales, ALOLAN ninetales. that was their full name. their parents were ice-type trainers who really really liked that pokemon but didnt want people to think their kid was named after the fire-type ninetales.

9. nihilego. i think being named "i am nothing" really did a number on her mind. she was really shy, i don't think i've ever heard her voice... some people bullied her saying she was got to be an actual ultra beast.

10. amoonguss. i dont think he has known peace since 2018.

a girl i went to school with had a kid recently and announced the birth along with the fact she named her baby....... stunky.... like i know pokemon names happiny and seadra are relatively popular but like........ hey lady MAYBE there's a reason certain pokemon names are uncommon among humans

my god. like i love stunky as much as the next guy. But that poor fucking kid.

[superhero--imagines]

A/N: Sorry, but this has been living in my brain rent free too, my commission info is here

* Honey if you’re tall with a big butt-

* You’ve got his heart the second he lays eyes on you

* Like everything he is and everything he will be -

* Baby you can have it all if you’ll agree to be his

* If you’re not tall with a big butt, well don’t worry Yuuji’s still going to adore you it just takes a little time

* It’s not so much because he doesn’t think your smoking hot or anything-

* It’s just, well, Yuji’s kinda dumb

* So anyone outside of his immediate go-to type, it just doesn’t register in his brain

* You can bet your ass he’ll say dumb crap like-

* “Friends can hold hands right?”

* Or

* “Friends kiss sometimes, no big deal!”

* But don’t worry babe, it might take a little while, but eventually he’ll notice all these feelings he’s been categorizing as “friendly” feelings and “positive” feelings are actually Romantic feelings

* Once he finally figures it out, you won’t have to wait long-

* “Oi, (Y/N/N), want to be my lover?”

* Like seriously, not even a second after he has this ‘monumental’ realization

* After that things are pretty easy between you two

* It’s not like much has changed, he’s still your friend, and he doesn’t act any different-

* You guys were holding hands and, apparently, kissing before you were officially dating

* It’s not even that he’s greedy with the way he touches you or anything-

* I think the only thing that does change is that Yuji makes an effort to spend more time with you

* “Oi, wanna go to Shibuya this weekend? There’s a Taiyaki store I’m dying to go too”

* He makes an effort to spend time with you even when he’s not around, like sending you texts and voicemails when he’s away

* Part of the reason he’s so insistent on spending as much time with you as possible is probably because he’s not sure how much time he has left

* I think, Yuji is a really simple guy who sees the good in everyone, so he’s also kind of attracted to anyone given the right circumstances

* But I think, he especially wants someone compassionate

* Someone who will hold him during depressive episodes where he’ll wonder- what if I hadn’t joined the occult club? What if he had played track like everyone wanted? What if he had just minded his own business

* What if Megumi hadn’t followed him to the hospital that day, how different would his life be right now

* And it’s the same regret and remorse that fuels his cursed energy, but for some reason it feels like it’s magnified right now

* It feels like he might drown in this despair

* During those days you just hold him, whispering good things about the world.

* Soft things that’ll help him right now-

* Something to give him hope

* “Hot tea on a cold day” you whisper

* “The feeling of basking in sunlight after a cloudy day”

* There’s a moment of silence as you think of something else to say

* “The smell of rain, and fresh cut grass” he’ll mumble back, and you grin

* “Getting Taiyaki in Shibuya with someone you love” you reply with a grin

* “With ice cream filling and boba?”

* You laugh, what a weird combination

* “Anything you want”

* Yuji’s not the one that’s hard to get along with tbh, the one you have trouble with is Sukuna

* “You know you’ll never save him, I don’t know why you’re trying so hard”

* You would hit Sukuna if it didn’t mean slapping Yuji’s cheek too

* “Shut up what do you know”

* Honestly Yuuji’s a little surprised at the hatred Sukuna shows you

* “Shouldn’t you be happy they’re around?”

* For one because you’re around there’s been more *clears throat* romantic incidents, which of course always leave Yuji in a pretty vulnerable state

* He’s only an orgasm away from having Sukuna take over tbh

* And besides-

* You’re his weakness

* They say the sun is 92 million miles away, but he swears his sun is walking in front of him on the in Shibuya, his hand held firmly in yours

* If anything ever happened to you-

* He wouldn’t be able to live with himself, he wouldn’t be able to go on anymore.

* And that’s when the curse that lives inside him wins

* So he really doesn’t get why Sukuna’s acting like this is the worst thing to ever happen to him

* Sukuna opens an eye on Yuji’s cheek

* “I hate their kind most of all, even more than Jujutsu Sorcerers” he grumbles

* He really does hate you-

* He hates that you’re kind

* He saw your type all the time at his harem, some lowly thing relatives had sold off for money and honor-

* Or a prize from a nation he conquered

* Some dumb creature that thought you would get a reward for sacrificing yourself

* Truly idiotic

* The worst part is he’s starting to like those little fantasy’s you spin for Yuji

* He can feel the sunlight warning his skin after a cold day

* He can taste the heavy condensation of the steam that wafts off of his cup of tea, brushing against his face. The heat in direct contrast to the cold winter air

* And it hurts him to know he probably won’t feel like that again, not for a long time

* Not with you helping Yuji work through his negative feelings like you do

* So he hates you

* He hides his contempt in general, it only leaks out through an occasional insult

* “Where’s your kindness now?” He’ll jeer when you’re having a bad day

* Only for Yuuji to smack his cheek to get him to shut up

* “Ah, don’t pay any attention to him. He’s just grumpy”

* For the most part it’s nothing you can’t handle

* Really you kind of forget he’s there most of the time, until one day you see Sukuna pop out and take a bite of your Taiyaki as you hold it out to Yuji who said he wanted to taste the flavor

* “Oi that was mine!” Yuji screeches, slapping his own face while Sukuna smiles from his hand

* “You just like torturing me don’t you?” He weeps, and you offer him sympathetic pats on the back, giving him another bit of your Taiyaki

* He continues on about how Sukuna just loves to torment him, and honestly why can’t they get along when they share a body

* But your mind is elsewhere

* The next time Sikuna see’s you is when Yuji’s sleeping, the damn brat snores so loud he’s considering throttling him just to get some peace and quiet

* That’s when he hears the door creak, seeing you curling inside around it, a plastic bag in hand

* Great, the perfect end to the perfect day

* “The brats sleeping” Sukuna grumbles from Yuji’s hand-

* He would have spoken from his face but the only thing more annoying than having to deal with Yuji’s snores is having to hear the lovey-dovey crap tumble from his lips when he talks to you

* He figures you’ll leave, or maybe curl up against Yuji on the bed but instead you kneel down, your hand dipping into the plastic bag

* “I’m not here for him,” you start pulling out a Taiyaki.

* “You wanted one right?” That’s why he took a bite, because he wanted to try it too

* Though, annoying Yuji was probably an added bonus

* You hold up the Taiyaki to Sukuna’s ‘mouth’

* And he’s overcome with emotion

* It’s not like he hasn’t had concubines from his harem feed him a great number of things before -

* Like he hasn’t ever felt the tender act from one of his many lovers -

* So he hates that you’re the one that’s bringing out all these emotions in him

* And as he takes a bite from the Taiyaki he finally admits it-

* If you were in his harem, a moronic kind fool like you were one of his lovers

* You would be his favorite

* And that’s why he hates you so much

* Because just like Yuji, you’re his weakness

* “It’s not the same flavor” he mumbles

* “Sorry I couldn’t get the ice cream, it would have melted on the way here-“

* Sukuna wouldn’t have minded one bit licking the cream from your fingers, maybe he would even catch that embarrassed face you always make with the damn brat

* “So I got you a custard one, and a chocolate one, and on the off chance you weren’t in the mood for something sweet I got you a curry filled one too”

* You stumble, hand flying into the bag to pull out the other two, holding them up to him

* And despite himself, Sukuna finds the sight quite...cute

* “Well, I suppose these offerings will do for now wench” And his words are harsh, but you smile like the kindhearted fool you are.

* And that’s how Yuji starts getting pestered for “just five minutes alone with their baby”

* “Scared I’ll show them a better time than you can?” Sukuna grins

* Of course he is! Sukuna had a literal harem of lovers. Who knows what kinds of techniques he knows

* But Yuji’s pride won’t let him admit it

* Yuji scoffs

* “I’d rather die again then let you come anywhere near them”

* It’s kind like you’ve got two boyfriends

* One pink haired one that’s the literal personification of sunshine

* And another, more dark and sadistic one

* And it’s sort of a funky little relationship

* But it’s yours

* “I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world” you whisper.

* Your lips brushing against his

* Yuji wouldn’t trade you for anything either

* He loves you ❤️