#HELL YEAH LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO

[person8789]

Words cannot describe the joy I am feeling right now

[aquamonstra]

When you're already in love with an episode of Voyager just 3 minutes in and then this credit appears on the screen:

[retro-system]

thanks mario rabbids sparks of hope team youre a real one. they said "oh hey m&l fans have gone 7 years without an original game huh. well here's a stage which locks you in to play as mario and luigi together, and shows in the intro of the stage mario immediately stepping up to help luigi out when he volunteers as the ideal long-ranged fighter. the stage is a "reach the goal" challenge so you're relying a lot on team jumps, which you can treat as bro attacks if you wanna. it ain't much but hope you enjoy :D"

[thelunarbar]

Holy shit! Clinching a series against the fucking Astros is the absolute best start to baseball season! I would fucking love to see them sweep tomorrow

[trashartgalleries]

A REMAKE OF MARIO RP-FUCKING-G, LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

[m-musings]

Crawl Out Through the Fallout with Me: Cooper "The Ghoul" Howard X Fem! Reader

A/N: never played an official fallout game in my life but i still love this man so it's time to bullshit some stuff, let's gooooooo

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: After a fight with raiders, a argument between lovers ensues when one of them gets hurt.

Warnings: typical fallout vibes, mentions of fighting, blood and wounds, pre-established relationship, Cooper being Cooper but also being a bit ooc, this is cheesy as hell and def not canon compliant lmao

"Damnit, (Y/n), just what the hell were you thinkin'?!"

An upset voice rang out into the evening air of the Wasteland as a pair of figures rested up inside the crumbling walls of an abandoned building.

Lit by the fading light of the sun, (Y/n) hissed in pain as her irradiated companion tried to sew a sizable gunshot wound on her arm shut.

As he passed the needle back and forth through the gash, the girl rolled her eyes with an exasperated groan as a few rivulets of blood rolled down her arm.

"Gimme a break, Coop! Did you wanna be the one to be shot?! I don't- ow!- think so!"

During a journey to find their next cash-out, the partners were ambushed by a large group of raiders & fiends. After managing to get rid of most of them, one had managed to sneak up and send a bullet flying straight for Cooper.

Noticing the weapon before Cooper could even turn to see the shooter, (Y/n) dashed over and shoved the ghoul out of the path of the shot, causing her arm to be hit instead.

Now- a few hours after killing the remaining enemies- they took shelter in a decrepit shack in order to patch themselves up in peace and rest for the night.

"I'd still be better off than you are right now. I mean, for fucks sake, darlin', I'm a ghoul. I've been through worse than just being shot at."

"Well then, that's the last time I try to be helpful. Next time, I'll sit back and relax while you get absolutely slaughtered by raiders, how about that?!"

"Go right on ahead, see if I care! Now, hold still. Can't close this cut if you keep on squirmin' around." Cooper huffed as he gave the suture one final tug before snipping the end off with a pocket knife and tying it into a knot.

After he was finished, (Y/n) rolled the pain out of her bicep before reaching into her bag to grab a somewhat clean cloth to wipe up any remaining blood.

With a sputter of her lips, she got up from her spot next to Cooper to sit upon the old mattress in the other corner of the room in order to apply a stimpak to herself. It wouldn't be enough to heal the wound completely but it would be enough for her to be able to use her arm properly.

Satisfied with the sight of her flesh knitting back together, Cooper finally relaxed in his chair as he crossed one leg over the other.

"Now don't go doin' anything that stupid again, y' hear me? Don't wanna have to use any more stims than we have to."

"I just... don't understand why you're so worked up about this. Something like this was bound to happen eventually, it's literally a warzone out here. A scar or two isn't unusual." (Y/n) griped as she fell back onto the bed while crossing her arms.

"Yeah, for someone like me it isn't. But it shouldn't ever happen someone like you. You shouldn't have to get hurt like that..." Grumbled Cooper as he leaned back against the wall.

"I'm not made of glass, Coop, I can handle a few hits."

"Don't care. You're way too valuable for me to lose."

(Y/n)'s glare softened at that, realizing the true intention behind the cowboy's scolding was worry. As Cooper sets up a small lantern on the floor to combat the growing darkness, (Y/n) watches the man with a fondness gleaming in her eyes.

"Is that what this is all about? You didn't wanna see me get hurt?" Whispers the girl as she turns onto her side.

Although the action is rather subtle, the ghoul's body visibly tenses up as he fixes his gaze away from the woman across from him.

"I never said that."

"It's clear that you thought it, though." (Y/n) chuckled as she softly grinned at the cowboy.

Heaving out an irritated sigh, Cooper hunches over to look at her as he readjusts his hat.

"What do ya wanna hear from me, sweetheart? That I care about you? That I love ya? Well, if you don't know that by now, then you might be much dumber than I thought you were."

"Hey, I resent that! You'd be lost with me and you know it!"

"Sure I would. Just like how you'd do great out there if you were all alone."

(Y/n) shakes her head with a scoff before she gets up from the mattress to walk over plop herself onto Cooper's lap after he sits back down on the beat-up dinner chair.

As she shuffles into place, Cooper places his hand on the small of her back to ensure she doesn't topple over. He silently glances at her face, analyzing her now troubled expression as she fiddles with the lapel on his duster.

Mouth opening and closing as she tries to find the words to say, she presses her lips together before finally speaking her thoughts.

"Y'know, I worry about you too... I'm always so worried that there's gonna be a day where that one gunner you miss is gonna be the one that gets you." (Y/n) admits sadly as she rests her head on Cooper's shoulder.

Cooper's eyes widen slightly and peer down at her as he begins to rub a hand up and down her arm in an attempt to comfort her.

"Hey now, look at me. That'll never happen. Not on my watch."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I got too much to fight for. I already lost one family to this nonsense and I'll be damned if you get taken away from me too. I'll fight tooth and nail before I let anything touch me or you again, understand?"

"But why? What's so special about me?"

"If I allow you to get hurt anymore, I will never be able to live with myself again. I love you, so...so much, darlin'." Cooper states with a resolute nod.

(Y/n) eyes water and crinkle with a gentle smile before she leans up to place a couple light kisses upon his charred lips, which he returns immediately upon receiving.

"I love you too, Cooper..." Mutters (Y/n) as she closes her arm around his shoulders.

With a laugh rumbling in his chest, Cooper wraps both of his hands around her waist as he holds her as close as he can.

"Your sweetness is what's gonna be the death of me one of these days, doll... Not some dumbass bullet." Cooper jokes quietly, placing a kiss atop her hair & resting his head on hers as he rocks back and forth to lull her to sleep.

Listening to the calming sound of her breathing as she slumbers, Cooper thinks about how lucky a man like him is to have found a love like (Y/n) in such a desolate situation.

[differentnerddiplomatopera]

incorrect Odydiopen quotes

Odysseus: I’m not casual, I will kill us both. Just a reminder.

Odysseus: What do you mean killing is not an act of devotion?

Odysseus: Gas? I lit that. Gate? I kept that. Girl? I boss that

Penelope: He couldn’t even if he tried.

Penelope: “I could fix him” actually my type of man is the one who commits atrocities in the name of love

Odysseus to Palamedes: if you ever disrespect me, and I was chill about that, your death day draws nigh.

Odysseus: forgive and forget? Hell no, resent and remember 

Penelope: When I go out in public, do people look at me like “omg that girl is so pretty and normal?”

Odysseus: Absolutely

Penelope: Good, the facade still works

Odysseus to Diomedes: Choke me sexually or lethally, I don’t have a preference 

Penelope: I got too excited while playing chess and told my opponent that I was going to slit his throat and slaughter him like a hog. Something to work on for next time.

Odysseus to Diomedes: it is not enough for you to simply be gay for us to build intimacy together; you must also beat me in a game of wits

Telemachus: Father, what is dad doing?

Diomedes: we’re making your dad do a mating dance to do something 

Telemachus: oh? What is he trying to do?

Diomedes: well he is-

Penelope: NOOOOO-NO-NO-NO NO

Diomedes:…..

Telemachus:……

Penelope: Baby I know you can be dense sometimes, so I gotta stop you

Odysseus: can I quit now?

Penelope: Once I heard Diomedes ask Odysseus if something was safe and Odysseus said probably.

Penelope: I have never moved from one room to the other so fast in my entire life.

Diomedes: I am so glad to sleep in an actual bed,

Penelope: (joking) what, were the tent’s that bad?

Diomedes: OMG, let me tell you. Odysseus used to set up alarm systems in our tent today to alert us of people’s presence. Athena forbid, I try to piss, and Odysseus tries to stab me.

Penelope: …

Diomedes: Yeah, the war with your husband was really fucking fun.

Penelope: (snickering)

Diomedes: Oh my- I’m leaving.

Penelope: (Cackling) wait no I’m sorry, come back! 

Young Penelope: I want two boyfriends, and I want the boyfriends to be boyfriends & and I want to be their girlfriend & and I want the boyfriends to take me out on little boyfriend dates where we’re all boyfriends and girlfriend.

Older Penelope: Fucking yessssssssss, let’s gooooooo!

Diomedes: you guys really ruined my plans to brood for the rest of my life and be angsty and sad.

Odysseus and Penelope: (kissing him) yOuR WeLcOMe!!

Odysseus: Penelope, when in the midst of the war, I laid with Diomedes.

Penelope: Boy, if you don’t spill the tea right the fuck now

Odysseus: Bitchhhhh, I got you

Penelope: I need details, be very descriptive 

Odysseus: Ok so, when he-

Penelope: Hey, you wanna bring things up to the bedroom?

Diomedes: Sure…what’s up there?

Odysseus: By the way did you bring protection?

Diomedes: *wielding his dagger* WHY WHAT’S UP THERE?!?

[chungledown-bimothy]

I've checked the tag

IT IS OFFICALLY LAPIN X AGUEFORT OLD MAN YAOI NIGHT

HELL YEAH LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO

[bread-is-my-life]

AHAGSHXHHDHD THIS IS BEAUTIFUL DUDE

This goes both ways tbh.

[lycheefruiit]

Richas: [like tio bad is gone gone]

Foolish: LETS GOOOOOOO! YEAHHH! IT TOOK FOREVER! LETSGOOOOO! FINALLY! See all it took was some fucking blue dust to get on his face to take him out - hell yeah! Um... lets go, lets go and now- and now I'm free.

Richas: [KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK VO]

[I WAS EXPECTING LIKE A SINGLE TEAR]

[ I guess it was from happiness]

Foolish: Ohhhh... Don't worry Richarlyson, um, it's right now excitement but then, later on I'll look into the sky and be like 'Y'know, maybe this isn't what I wanted - maybe there was some sort of friendship' and then I'll begin to lament. The old times - maybe it wasn't so bad. Yeah like Megamind.. but then, I'll have a second revelation-

Richas: [nah vo remember skephalo]

Foolish: Oh yeah you're right... yeah, you're right... then the second revelation and I'll be like nah - this is perfect and everything was alright.

[charlottesbookclub]

time after time – chapter six (part one) (armitage hux x reader)

time after time masterlist

Summary: Hux's plans go utterly awry, but the result is far better than he could have hoped

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader; set pre-TFA; time loop; brief description of a medical appointment; description of feeling faint; descriptions of food preparation, food, and eating; body image issues; as always, let me know if I've missed anything!

Words: 6947

Author’s Note: hell yeah chapter six let's fucking gooooooo!!!! despite the already relatively higher word count on this section, there actually is a part two to this as well that will go up as its own post tomorrow, even though it still takes place in the same scene as this one. it was just getting long and I felt like I needed to cut it somewhere lol 😅 anyway, this is the chapter that took this story in a new direction than what I had originally intended. I was initially planning to do much more with the time loop, but it was while writing this section that the characters were telling me that the story needed to go somewhere else, so I listened! ☺️ I really hope you enjoy! 🥰

Hux blinked his eyes open to the cursed ceiling of the med bay. More quickly than ever before, Hux was up and off the cot, speeding away from medical without so much as a thought to the words of the medics. Maybe he should have listened though, he thought as he realized that his rapid movements hadn’t allowed him to fully recover from his faint. The floor beneath him seemed a little shaky. But as long as he kept moving and fixed his eyes on the hallway ahead of him, he could remain steady. He had to do this now – if he dared to wait even a moment longer than necessary, his resolve would crumble. He called Mitaka over coms.

“I need you to move up my meeting with the captain,” he explained.

“Yes, sir. To when?” Mitaka dutifully responded.

“Now.”

“Now? But what about—”

“Now,” Hux reaffirmed, cutting off Mitaka’s objection, “whatever you need to do to make that happen, you have my authority to do so.” He clicked off the call before Mitaka could voice another protestation. Hux had never been more aware of his own limits than in this moment. He had to keep moving and remain set in his intentions, that was the only way he would be able to do what needed to be done. 

When he swept into the dining hall, he saw that you were already there, lingering awkwardly near the back, standing by the table where he would have met you later. This was better. Then he didn’t have to wait. He strode up to you, only stopping when he was a respectable distance away. The words he had rehearsed in his mind were about to spill from his opened lips when everything went wrong. 

The sudden cessation of movement had brought back the full effects of his faintness that he had tried to resist. Without warning, black encroached on the edges of his vision and he lurched forward, his stomach twisting as he did. He only barely caught himself on the edge of the table. But so had you. Kriff. So had you.

One of your hands was clasped over his shoulder, halfway between catching him as he fell and guiding him into a seat. Hux’s full attention turned to the image of your hand gripping at the gaberwool of his greatcoat, fractions of an inch from the skin beneath. The feeling of it burned with a glowing warmth that made Hux feel equal parts sick and giddy. He needed you to let go immediately but he never wanted you to stop touching him. He heaved a few ragged breaths in a futile attempt to get his words out.

“Captain, I—” 

“General, please,” you entreated him, voice quiet but insistent. Hux despised the thought of it, knew it was what his father and all his father’s fellow officers had thought of him, but in that moment, he knew it was true: he was so weak. He barely even tried to stop himself from looking at your face. Your features were pulled into a look of genuine concern, eyes wide with worry. Whatever words he had been trying to say fell from his mind. “You aren’t well. You need to sit down.”

“Not here,” was all he was able to force out in a hoarse whisper. “I—I can stand.” He pushed himself upward to prove the point, but you were right: he still didn’t feel well. You tentatively released your grip on his shoulder. Equal waves of relief and devastation crashed through him. Your worried eyes flicked over him, assessing his condition for a moment before you spoke again:

“My quarters aren’t far – would it be better to go there?” 

Hux could only muster a nod of agreement. He barely registered what that would mean. His focus was divided between not wanting to collapse in front of the other officers and wanting you to reach out and touch him again. In service of both of these ends, he let you guide him out of the dining hall. 

There was less traffic in the hallways at this time in the cycle – both a blessing and a curse since it allowed him to divert most of his attention to the way you walked next to him. Your hands fluttered slightly at first, ghosting over him but not quite touching, as though you weren’t sure if you were allowed. You were so much more than allowed. Hux was practically aching for your hand on his arm, but he had no words to give voice to the feeling. He spent most of the short walk at war with himself. The stronger part of his resolve demanded that he stand as upright as his present condition would permit while you simply walked beside him. But the weaker part urged him to give into the feeling of faintness that still lingered in his body like a fog. If he collapsed just a little, maybe you would catch him. Kriff, maybe you would even let him lean against you – just slightly – as you closed the distance to your quarters. Your quarters. Kriff kriff kriff that’s where he was headed? How could he have let this happen? 

Before he could even begin to contemplate making a move to turn and leave, you had reached the door and were entering your credentials. Eyes still wide with concern, you invited him inside with another fluttering motion of your hands, once again seeming as though you wanted to reach out and touch him, but thinking better of it. Kriff, how he wished you would. The little entrance area was bathed in darkness, but you hurried into the main space and raised the lights to a faint glow. No doubt you left them dim so as not to shock him with the brightness in his weakened state. The thought of you wanting him to care for him made his chest feel like it was full of static. Or maybe that was just the lingering effects of the faint. He really needed to sit down. 

As though thinking the very same thing, you returned to usher him toward your standard-issue black couch. Again, your hands were just inches from him, and he began to fear he had unknowingly activated a deflector shield around himself. Why wouldn’t you touch him? The logical answer was obvious of course: you barely knew him, and he was General Hux, after all. But the ache in his body for your hands against him was not interested in listening to logic. Mercifully, he made it to the couch. 

He collapsed onto it, propping his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands. He needed to think, but he couldn’t quite get his mind to cooperate. The room smelled nice… clean but not sterile, and maybe faintly floral? Herbal? It had been so long since he had been planetside long enough to be able to identify scents that were rare on First Order ships. It seemed to suit you though. He could imagine that’s what you would smell like, if he ever got close enough to pick it up on your hair, your skin. A wave of dizziness and nausea swept over him, but he was certain it had very little to do with his faintness. A small, pitiful noise just escaped his lips, even though he tried his best to repress it. He hoped you hadn’t heard.

“General?” Of course you had. Your voice was soft and laced with worry, but also very close. Hux made the mistake of removing his hands from his face, only to see you crouching in front of him. Your widened eyes glowed faintly in the dim light, not even attempting to hide the concern for him that was written all over your face. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be sick or start crying. Perhaps he would do both at the same time. Not a single thought remained to him as he watched you study him, each glance soft enough to be a caress. He thought he might black out. Then you spoke again:

“I think you should lay down,” the words were quiet, but had an undertone of authority that told Hux he wasn’t going to win this battle. Not that he could refuse you anything anyway.

“But I’ll get my boots on your—” was the only pathetic excuse he was able to force through his lips. You just shook your head and shushed him.

“I don’t care about that.” You watched him as he awkwardly began to adjust himself into a reclining position on the couch. When you seemed satisfied that he would do as you asked, you stood and vanished somewhere behind Hux’s head. Stretched out on your couch, surrounded by the scent of you, your soft voice still playing in his head, Hux’s weakened faculties did not even put up the slightest resistance to a fantasy in which this was his life. He wouldn’t go back to his quarters alone, he would stay there, basking in the warmth of you. Lying there, trying to steady his breathing, he mused that he could happily wake up to this every day. 

His reveries were interrupted when you reentered the main space. Hux kept his eyes closed even as every part of him was straining to see you again. He had already given in far too much to his foolish desires – he needed to try and keep his composure. Even though he couldn’t see you, he could imagine your movements as you stood in front of the couch, eyes full of concern, one hand rubbing nervously along the uniform sleeve of your other arm as you shifted your weight on the floor, debating what to do.

“General?” you asked so quietly that he almost wouldn’t have heard if every part of him hadn’t been straining toward you, desperate for your presence. He hummed in response, hoping you would forgive him for his lack of communication with the assumption that he was still recovering from his near-faint. 

“Have you eaten this cycle?” Had he eaten? He had to think back. With the confused state of his thoughts and the blasted repetitions of cycles, he truly couldn’t remember. He shook his head in the negative. Still refusing to give into the urge to look at you, he instead imagined your little nod of confirmation at his nonverbal statement. You left again then, vanishing once again somewhere behind his head. Hux slowly exhaled the air out of his lungs. He expected you to be back in a moment and offer him a nutrition bar, but you didn’t return. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes.

As he adjusted to the low lighting, he scanned the room, consumed with curiosity. What struck him first were the pops of color set off against the dark interior of the standard officer’s quarters. A decorative rug woven in bright reds and yellows shot through with blue designs covered the floor next to the couch. A low, regulation-issued table sat on top of it, but its matte black surface was dotted with an artful arrangement of objects, including little animal figures painted with colorful floral designs and a cluster of unused candles. On the wall directly opposite the couch were a few small hangings affixed to the wall, but he couldn’t make out what was depicted on them. On a far shelf stood more small objects whose shape he could not quite determine. Where had you gotten all these things? 

The difference between his austere quarters and the inviting nature of yours was stark. He had always thought that collecting purposeless things was frivolous, but here in your rooms they felt… right. In fact, the idea of you living in a space as ascetic as his saddened him. Feeling his senses begin to return to him as he took stock of the room, he propped himself up, trying to get a better view of some of the objects. That was when he noticed intermittent noises from the direction where you had disappeared. And another scent – but not the welcoming smell that had pervaded your quarters since he entered. This was something almost… appetizing. He suddenly realized that he was hungry. Wait – no – kriff! Were you cooking for him? After all you had already done for him, he couldn’t allow you to waste more of your time, energy, and resources on him like this. Kriff he should have just said he had already eaten. 

He was trying to maneuver himself off the couch without letting his boots touch the black fabric when you suddenly reappeared, catching him awkwardly half-sprawled over it. He couldn’t help but instantly turn his gaze to you, since he had denied himself last time. The look of surprise on your face faded into one of relief.

“General, are you feeling better?” He could just manage a nod of affirmation, transfixed by the sight of you as you hesitantly stepped closer. “Here, let me help you.”

As before, your hands stuttered for a moment as you approached him, but then you seemed to push past whatever reservations you had, and your warm grasp found his forearm and upper arm as you helped guide him back into a sitting position. Each point of contact felt like a sunbeam – or at least the memory of a sunbeam, it had been so long since he had felt one. But no, this was even better than that: warm, comforting, steady, glowing. Maybe sitting up again had been a mistake. He lost consciousness of any other sensation except the feeling of you touching him. Each place where your hands met his arm seemed to radiate warmth until Hux’s whole body felt alight with the golden glow of it. He couldn’t dare to look at you. If he did, he might melt entirely and never recover. Instead, he watched your hands gently release the fabric of his greatcoat and slowly pull away, almost as though you missed the contact as much as he did. At least, that’s what he wanted to believe. The heady warmth of your touch faded slightly, but he could still feel the two contact points under the fabric of his uniform, the bright sensation of you lingering on his skin. He forced himself to breathe.

“Do you, um…” your faltering words brought his attention back to you, standing in front of him again, hands clasped behind your back as though at attention, but he could tell you were fidgeting, entwining and unentwining your fingers, pulling at the cuffs of your uniform. He allowed himself to imagine that you also missed the warmth of your hands against him. You seemed to collect yourself then and remember your question: “do you drink tea?”

“Yes,” Hux cleared his throat slightly, “tarine tea usually.” You hummed a little, thinking to yourself.

“I’m afraid I don’t have any tarine, General.” Your face puckered into a slight frown. “It’s um… it’s too bitter for me.” You accented the last statement with just a breath of a laugh and little lopsided smile. If not for his hands planted firmly on either side of him, Hux no doubt would have ended up horizontal again, his mind buzzing with dizziness at your unguarded expression. “But I’ll see what I have that’s similar.” With that, you began to exit again.

“Captain, wait,” his words pulled you back into the room, a question written on your face. “You don’t need to make something for me – it’s not necessary.”

“Oh, no need to worry about that, General. It’s just something quick – actually I think it’s almost done. It would do you good to have something in your system.” With another small smile that left Hux breathless, you departed. But before he could even collect his thoughts, you were back, balancing two steaming plates of food. Depositing them on the table in front of the couch, you returned for the tea. 

Hux investigated the food. How long had it been since he had eaten something other than nutrition bars? He couldn’t even remember. The dish was some sort of a thick, orangish sauce dotted with vegetables and spread over a bed of cooked grains. The warm, spiced scent of it alone was enough to make his mouth water. You returned with two mugs of tea and set one carefully in front of him before circling around to the opposite side. He expected you to pull up a chair, but instead you settled yourself on the floor. On another officer, such a move would have seemed ungainly, improper. But somehow it felt natural for you as you folded yourself up next to the short table.

“You didn’t have to do this,” Hux whispered, not even sure his words were loud enough for you to hear. He was certain that his cheeks were a humiliating shade of pink. Maybe you wouldn’t notice in the low light. You shrugged lightly.

“On the contrary – it was the least I could do.” You flashed him another smile that knocked the air from his lungs. Then you reached down to take a bite of the dish, and he followed your lead, discarding his gloves on the table before picking up his fork. Compared to the dry density of a nutrition bar, the foreign textures of the food were almost overwhelming. The sauce melted into the cooked grains and the vegetables offered a slight but satisfying resistance as he bit into him. Then the flavor hit him. It was creamy and inviting with a swirl of spices that warmed the back of his throat. It was like nothing that he had ever tasted – not that he had tasted much in his life with the First Order. Only after he swallowed that first bite did he suddenly become aware that you were watching him closely, already wincing a little.

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have eat it – it’s certainly not to everyone’s taste and if you’re used to nutrition bars or—or if you would prefer one, I have those too and I would be happy to—” 

Hux silenced your rush of apologetic words with a wave of his hand, his fork still held in his fingers, and a shake of his head.

“No, please – it’s delicious. Thank you.” He tried to put all the weight of his genuine gratitude behind those words, hoping you would hear it. You ducked your head as though you were suddenly embarrassed, but he could see a smile playing around the corners of your lips. He was desperate to have you look up at him. He wanted to see you smile even more than he wanted another taste of the meal. “Where did you…” he fumbled for the question he wanted to ask, “how did you…” when his words failed him, he simply indicated to the food, hoping you would understand.

“Oh!” You seemed to intuit what he was asking. “It was something I ate in the field a lot on one of my assignments. It was a popular dish there. You could buy preparation packs for it pretty easily, so I uh… I just stocked up before I was transferred here. It doesn’t take much to reconstitute them – I promise I’m no great chef.” You smiled widely at him then, his faltering questions rewarded a hundredfold with the gleaming light of you. He wanted to bask in it forever.

“And the, um… décor,” Hux gestured lamely to the beautiful collection of objects that filled the room. He wanted to keep you talking, to soak in every ounce of you. “Are those from the field too?”

“What? Oh, my things?” you swiveled your head to indicate the diverse assortment of pieces that livened the room with their color. Your smile turned sheepish then, and you looked down, reaching out to run your fingers over one of the little animal figures in the center of the table. “Yes, they’re from my various assignments. A lot of them were gifts. But I— well, I try to collect something from everywhere I go. To remember.” You met his eyes then, and he returned his fork to the bowl and his hand to his lap so that you wouldn’t see that it was shaking. Your grin was almost mischievous then, a kind of sweet mirth lighting up your eyes. “I’m just glad officers don’t have room inspection like we did at the academy. I’m not sure I’m fully in cooperation with regulations. Unless, of course, you were going to report me?”

Were you… teasing him? His thoughts faltered for a moment at the hidden laughter gleaming just behind your eyes. But maybe also the slightest hint of fear. You had no reason to believe he wouldn’t report you, but you trusted him somehow? His chest felt so light he feared he might need to hold onto the table to keep from floating away.

“No, of course not – never.” Good humor and laughter were not something that came easily to Hux, so he was certain the smile he attempted to return was stilted, but you didn’t seem to care. You just shot him one last gleaming glance before returning to your food. He took this as a queue to do the same. 

In between bites of the meal, he sipped on the tea. It was different than his usual fare, minty and smooth with just the slightest hint of something sweetly acidic, perhaps citrus. He couldn’t believe that things could taste like this. He was certain whatever food they served in the dining hall wasn’t this good. But then maybe anything he ate with you would be delicious. 

When you were both done, you stood to collect the dishes. After all you had already done for him, Hux couldn’t abide the thought of you doing anything else.

“Please, let me help,” he insisted, rising slowly from the couch. He tried to make sure his movements were slow, not wanting to bring on another faint. You apprised him for a moment, seemingly also assessing his steadiness, before nodding and allowing him to take the dishes from your hands. The slight brush of your fingers against the bare skin of his hand was enough to send shockwaves through his body, and he had to turn quickly to hide the blush that was blooming on his face. Luckily, Hux was familiar with the standardized layout of the officer’s quarters, so he had no problem finding the small food storage and preparation area. He deposited the dishes in the automatic receptacle that would ferry them to the central kitchens to be sanitized and put back into service.

In those small moments alone though, Hux’s mind harshly reminded him of his purpose in meeting you today. The thought of needing to let you go after this punched a hole in his chest so forcefully that he needed to lean against the wall temporarily. He stood at the precipice again, ragged and desperate with the enormity of his want. How could he do this to you? To himself? But you had smiled at him, touched him, even. Maybe you could be happy with him, want him, lov— no. No no no no no. He had to stop – he needed to stop. 

You stepped into the tiny kitchen then, as though wondering what had kept him. Finding him leaning against the wall, heaving labored breaths, your brows instantly furrowed with worry again.

“General?” you voice was all softness. Hux swallowed thickly but couldn’t respond. Uttering any words in that moment might have been enough to break him. He tried to step back from the precipice in his mind, gathering every last reserve of strength to wave you away. To tell you he needed to leave. 

But then you caught his hand in yours and he was plummeting. Momentarily losing his ability to breathe, all he was able to do was look at you. He found you looking back, eyes concerned and gentle. Your hand was so warm in his. You offered him a small smile. Maybe the freefall wasn’t so terrifying after all. Not if you were there to catch him in the end.

“Are you okay?” The words were so quiet, so suffused with care that Hux nearly ached with it. He could barely manage a small nod as he struggled to breathe again, but that was enough to reassure you. “I think you should go sit down.” Hux just nodded again, letting you lead him back to the main room. His eyes were locked on where your hand clasped his, staring in disbelief. He couldn’t possibly imagine what he could have ever done that would cause the universe to grant him this small mercy. You didn’t let go of his hand.

Back on your couch, his breaths came out shakily, eyes focusing and unfocusing as they traced the complex patterns on your carpet. He felt the weight of you, the warmth of you, next to him. He could feel you breathing. He braced himself for the moment when you pulled your hand from his, but it never came. You sat quietly beside him, your fingers curled against his own. Finally, he spoke, though his words came out rubbed raw:

“Captain, I apologize. I fear I have made an utter fool of myself.” He couldn’t look at you.

“That’s not true,” you responded, accenting your words with a squeeze of his hand. Hux’s breath stuttered in his lungs. A long moment passed before you spoke again: “Can I tell you something? A secret?”

“Of course,” his voice came out thinly the first time, so he cleared his throat and repeated the sentiment: “of course.” He turned to glance at you, but this time your gaze was fixed in front of you, seemingly viewing something visible to you alone.

“I cried on my first day here. On the bridge no less.” You huffed out a small, self-depreciating chuckle. Hux felt sick. He could imagine the scene so clearly. He squeezed your hand slightly in an echo of your earlier gesture, the only pathetic attempt at comfort he was able to offer. You flicked a small, grateful glance toward him before returning your focus to some spot in the center of the room. It was more thanks than he deserved. “Captain Earls—?” you fumbled for the name.

“Ernstead,” Hux filled in through gritted teeth. Maybe he and Opan would need to have a conversation about possible assassinations after all.

“Oh yes – Captain Ernstead said something. Well actually he sort of set me up I think. It doesn’t matter – I’m sure he didn’t mean to.” ‘I’m sure he did,’ Hux thought furiously, but did not interrupt. “But anyway I ended up crying in front of everyone. Just a little. But still. I knew it wasn’t proper, that I should have kept myself more in control. But I—well, I was just so…” You heaved out a shaky sigh. “Anyway, I guess my point is that if anyone has made a fool of themselves on this ship, it’s me.” You let out a hollow, watery laugh. Hux looked over to find tears trickling down your cheeks. You seemed to notice at the same time.

“Oh and now I’m doing it again.” The sad little laugh was still in your voice as you slipped your hand from his as though on an instant instinct to clear your face of any sign of tears. As you scrubbed at your cheeks with the backs of your sleeves, Hux’s fingers tingled, burned with the desire to reach out and run his thumb along the tender skin under your eye, gently wiping the sadness from your face. Instead, he froze in place, petrified by the very thought of it. He had known you for days, but you had just met him earlier that cycle when he practically fainted into your arms. He had spent the time that followed that unfortunate incident being utterly useless and completely unprofessional as you showed him more kindness than he could hope to earn in a hundred lifetimes. There was no way you would want him to touch you. 

“I don’t think that’s foolish,” he whispered. It was not what he would have said six cycles ago, and it wasn’t even really wanted to say then either. There were a thousand other things he could have said that would have been better, that could have conveyed the depth of what he was feeling. But Hux was cut out for grand, pre-written speeches, not… this. He was an utter failure at whatever this was, but kriff he wanted to be good at it. The hand that was still humming faintly with the remembrance of your skin against it clenched into a tight fist, nails biting into his palm – a punishment for his failings.

“You’d be the first then,” you looked at him with a small, melancholy smile on your face, eyes still glittering with unshed tears. “Everyone else, they— well… hmmm. I’m no good at this.” Another tiny laugh trickled from your lips. How could you say that? Hux thought you were wonderful. He was making the enormous effort to put that thought into words when you continued: “I mean, you ate my non-standard food and at least pretended to like it, and you saw all my weird stuff and didn’t report me. And you didn’t act like I was totally crazy or laugh at me even one time or—or leave. So, thank you.”

Hux’s mind went completely blank. You were thanking him? You were thanking him? As that one inconceivable thought repeated itself in his mind, he was suddenly seized with panic. How was he supposed to respond? He needed to respond. He could thank you back, but now that would seem hollow. How could he make it seem genuine? Think, think! How could he work out complex engineering designs in his head but not be able to utter a single coherent thought to you? What a kriffing idiot! If he sat here one second longer just looking at you with a blank face you would be convinced that this was all some sort of joke and that he hated you or that he really was laughing at you and then you would never speak to him again and maybe you would even cry and it would all be his fault—

The water that still lingered in your eyes had coalesced into a single shining tear that slipped from the corner of your eye without you seeming to realize it. Against all the better judgement in him, Hux gave into the stinging urge in his fingers and reached up toward you. Bracing his fingers lightly against the side of your face, he dragged the pad of his thumb across the top of your cheek and caught the tear, whisking it away. Your skin was so soft he was almost afraid he would melt it, and it was burning him, each one of his fingers set alight at just the faintest touch of you. He was sure he would pass out again, and half wished that he would. He had not thought this through – he had no plan for what came after. 

As he finally removed his hand, your head tilted and leaned toward it just slightly, as though you missed the contact. Hux felt like he was drunk, a warm sensation bubbling up into his chest and spreading throughout his body. Your eyes met his then, and he was terrified that he would see disgust or displeasure twisting your features, but instead you looked… happy? Was that possible? Had he made you happy? The desperately hopeful thought only intoxicated him further. You laughed quietly, fingers brushing lightly over the spot that Hux’s hand had just vacated. The sound was so sweet that Hux was certain that no music in the galaxy could compare.

“I guess I missed that one,” you commented lightly, gracing Hux with a beaming smile. Kriff, you were incandescent. He could have stared at you forever. 

He had to think of something to say. He couldn’t just gaze at you wordlessly – you’d think he was deranged. Kriff, he was awful at this.

“For the record, I did like it – the food that is,” he finally said. It sounded pathetic as it was leaving his mouth, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say despite the millions of things he might have said. You tilted your head slightly, the charming gesture asking a wordless question. You didn’t know what he was talking about. He was so utterly inept it was almost laughable. “You said before that I at least pretended to like the food – I, well… I wasn’t pretending – I really did like it.”

“Oh! I’m very glad to hear that!” Your smile was undimmable. “Actually, it’s probably time for me to prep my late cycle meal. You unfolded yourself from the couch and extended a hand to him. “Would you like to help?”

Your hand hung empty in the air for only a moment before Hux grasped it like a lifeline. Sparks sizzled across his skin as he let his fingers slide along your palm. Exerting just the slightest force, you pulled him from the couch. 

“Oh – let me…” Agonizingly, he had to break contact to shrug the greatcoat from his shoulders.

“Of course – I’ll just be in here.” You tossed him a bright smile as you disappeared behind the partition wall that marked off the kitchen. He let the heavy fabric slip from his arms, leaving him in just his uniform. A prick of queasiness roiled to life in his stomach as he draped the greatcoat over the arm of the couch. His father had always called him thin, scrawny. In his adolescence, he could barely fill out even the smallest uniforms. He had gained in height since then, but not… elsewhere. Would you notice? Would you care? Would you think he didn’t look…good? The thought made his nausea intensify. He swallowed, trying to swallow his fears as well. He couldn’t leave you alone when he had agreed to help. He combed his fingers through his hair, trying to reestablish as much order as he could amongst his disheveled locks. Then he straightened his posture – one thing he could be proud of – and entered the food preparation area. 

You turned around when he entered and offered him another one of your sunny smiles. Either you didn’t notice his appearance or you didn’t care. He breathed a tiny sigh of relief.

“I had planned to just do something quick,” you told him as you collected ingredients, “but seeing as I have company…” you gestured to him, your smile seeming to intensify as you did so, “I thought I’d maybe do something special.”

“Oh, please – not on account of me,” he insisted, feeling a blush begin to heat his cheeks. You’d make something special – for him?

“I fear it’s not that special,” you offered an apologetic laugh, “I’m a bit limited in what I can achieve here. And um… my skills are not – well, let’s just say I’m passable, shall we?”

Hux thought you were lightyears beyond passable, and he was about to say as much when it suddenly hit him just how small the cooking area was. It was really just a sectioned-off bit of the main space, with one partition wall hosting a tiny counter and a single heating plate and the other offering a short shelving unit and a temperature-controllable food containment pod. Most officers either opted for the fare in the dining hall or subsisted off nutrition bars. Hux’s ‘kitchen’ – if it could even hold that designation – had long ago been given over to other purposes. He only used the shelves to stack his supply of nutrition bars and packets of tarine tea. Standing just at the edge of yours, he realized how close you were to him as you pulled items from the shelves. Hux felt his heart rate increase slightly.

“How can I help?” he asked, hoping his voice didn’t betray any of the trepidation he felt. He abhorred the idea of you doing all this work alone, but he was far too aware of his own non-existent skills to think that he would be a help rather than a hindrance.

“Do you chop?” You offered him a knife and a strange, warty vegetable.

“Certainly.” Hux certainly did not chop. He knew his way around a knife, but not this kind. The vegetable felt strange in his hand, knobby and stiff. He was just about to inquire how you had gotten produce when you seemed to anticipate his question.

“These keep for months if you don’t cut them,” you explained as he eyed the vegetable suspiciously. You were about to turn back to your tasks when you seemed to realize something. “You don’t chop, do you?” Despite the nature of the question, there was no accusation in your tone, only a kind understanding. Why were you so considerate of him even when he was being completely useless? Hux’s cheeks burned, and he knew you could see the pink flush on his pale skin. His mouth was dry, so he just shook his head.

“To be honest,” he had to clear his throat a little, “I only eat nutrition bars. The meal from earlier today was the first time I’ve eaten real food in… well, I’m not sure how long. I can’t remember.” He chanced a glance at you, and your radiant smile had dimmed to a small frown laced with what Hux thought might be sadness.

“I’m so sorry,” you said then, seemingly truly unhappy to hear about Hux’s dietary habits. He couldn’t bear for you to be sad on his account.

“No, don’t be – it’s my choice.” Your face pricked with worry at his words.

“Oh, I don’t need to make this – I’m so sorry, you know you didn’t need to eat what I gave you before – I have nutrition bars too, I—I can go get one for you now.” You moved to replace the things you had been preparing. Could he say even one thing right? What a kriffing idiot – now he had made you ashamed for doing the nicest thing anyone had ever thought to do for him.

“No, please – that’s not what I meant.” You stilled your movements as he spoke. “I choose to eat them because I never have time for anything else. And I don’t really… enjoy… the experience of the officer’s dining hall.” A private almost-smile tugged at the edges of your lips.

“I can understand that.” You looked at him, the ghost of some lingering hurt floating just beneath your expression. He tightened the grip on the vegetable in his hand, a pain slicing through his chest. “The dining hall is not the most enjoyable of places.” You didn’t have to say anything further for Hux to know that what he had witnessed while observing you in the dining hall were not isolated incidents. Then you seemed to shake off the memory and your expression reignited into its usual brightness. “I can take those from you!”

Hux handed over the vegetable and the knife with another flash of embarrassment at his own incompetence. It was a feeling that he normally tried to avoid at all costs, but somehow you made it easier to carry. He watched with interest as you cut the knobby shape into neat cubes, trying to commit your movements to memory. Next time, he wanted to be able to actually help. Next time. Panic surged through his body. What if this was all erased for you next cycle? He would wake up in the med bay as he had so many times now and you would never have met him. A fist clenched around his heart and squeezed until he was almost gasping for air. But maybe that would be better, he reasoned with himself. Next time he would know what to do, what to say – he would have practiced. He would be better at everything. He hated the idea that you wouldn’t remember, but took comfort in the knowledge that he would have a chance to do things right. Next time, he would be perfect.

When he came back to the present, the vegetable cubes were sizzling in a pan before you transferred them to another dish. Into the pan you added a few liquids from the containment pod and generous dashes from various seasoning containers and pre-made preparation packets. Seemingly satisfied, you returned the cubes to the pan and swirled them in with the pale green sauce. You had pulled a package of grains from the shelving unit when Hux stepped forward. Finally he could be of use.

“I can do that,” he offered, eliciting a look of surprise from you that melted into a smile. “I do know how to reconstitute prep packs.” 

“Brilliant – thank you!” You handed him the package and two dishes. Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. His mind replayed your words in giddy spirals as he divided the dried contents between the two plates and retrieved a cup of water from the faucet. He slowly stirred the water in, watching as the grains reconstituted themselves. When he presented you with the completed dishes, he felt a little foolish for being proud of his achievement. It was almost nothing really, and yet he had done something for you, a thought that made his chest hum. You received his meager offering with far more gratitude and enthusiasm than he deserved, but he was not going to miss the chance to bask in your smile.

[3416]

MITCH GOAL HELL FUCKING YEAH... LETS FNCUJKLDSFKLDS GOOOOOOO LEAFS. NOW WE JUST NEED A MITCH ASSIST

[remadra]

!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!

“Living Saint”

Gift for @remadra

[the0retically]

The Suckening #12: The Twilight Zone:

Thoughts and quotes below, a wild first half of the finale

- I’ve put this off for too long it’s time to do this

- Oh hi le frog

- God Condi and bizly having to switch accents is so funny it sounds SO WRONG CONDI CANT DO IT AND BIZLY IS JUST DOING HIS OWN VOICE

- Love that the plan hinges on Taylor launter??

- Shilo being so adamant about not punching Emizel but then just doing it, I love them

- But oh god shilo has to talk to Theo because he looks like emizel

- Love music coming up when they’re going over the plan and then immediately cutting out when Arthur said demons instead of dangs

- “I know you hit it off with Viv” “my homegirl yeah” ARTHUR??

- “Who is it?” “It’s me” “…alpha” I cannot believe this

- ARE YOU SERIOUS MRS TAYLOR LAUNTER HAS A HELICOPTER????? CHARLIES DEFEATED SIGH WAS SO FUNNY

- SHARKBOY GAUNTLET????? WHAT IS HAPPENING

- “Good boy” “…..” “HA I WAS GONNA SAY GOOD MAN”

- I shouldn’t be sad that emizel can’t actually talk to Theo

- Also it scares me every time charlie asks what phone they’re using

- “I already told him about the plan to change faces” “then WHY THE HELL AM I DOING THIS?” “I don’t know I forgot”

- “This is such a classic Theo move I love you” :((((((

- Awwww them all being so excited emizel is the phantom flipper is so fun

- Bizly losing his mind over the dangs new plan is so funny

- Forgot how Edwards voice sounded god

- THEY HAVE TO LEAVE THE ROOM? Oh god

- “You know the plan, to be yourself” oh god

- Emizel you’re doing so bad this is awful

- 6 different Edwards??

- Why have they heard about shilo?

- Oh god this whole scene is like playing in my head I can see it so clearly

- Chester Chesser is such a cool name

- Paul with the unseen one freaky little dude I like him

- Ok yeah I love Paul he’s so fun

- You know who I miss though? Grefgore :( where is my boy

- Chet is insane??? Oh my god. The energy here is unmatched. Love Charlie and Condi just immediately going into laughter

- God the audio design is incredible in this campaign, the overlapping voices for Charlie is so good I love it

- “People think I’m weak do you think I’m weak?” “…you say that out loud in front of everyone?” OH GOD

- Paul and Chet being Emizel’s buds is so on brand I love it

- RENWICK!!!!!!!! HES COMMENTING!!!

- Oh it’s masquerade breakers that are competing

- …….and deacon rounded them up

- Interact with the show???

- “If there’s any invisible around” SO SMART ARTHUR

- Paul?? Oh they’re like the cameras. That’s really cool

- It’s fortnite, it’s fucking fortnite. Ok Charlie ok

- “I’d like to start-“ “ok shilo” “crying”

- Arthur is so cool I love him

- Oh there are humans—oh god it’s the dangs yikes that’s horrible

- “But I am walking the same amount of time!” “No” “….yuh-huh!”

- Charlie’s manic laughter was so fun who does shilo see?

- FORTNITE BUILDER!

- Love that they just keep saying minecraft and Charlie is like nah it’s fortnite building

- “Fortnite vampire” thanks Charlie

- OH GOD BIZLY IS LOSING IT

- ARTHUR IS POPPING OFF LETS GOOO

- “Now you’ve met the real devil” HOLY SHIT???? ARTHUR??

- OH!!! THIS IS WHERE THE WINGS COME IN THIS IS SO COOL LETS GO ARTHUR

- A wolf you say? Oh god the squirrel

- 3 roll off in a row?? That’s epic

- Uhhhh shilo? Please be ok

- LETS GOOOOOOO SHILO

- HE HAS A FRIEND!!!!

- Grangle!! Love him

- “Can I talk to satan?” “I’m not a say no dm am I? Oh god” PLEASE WHAT A MOOD

- HELICOPTER!!!!!! THE LAUNTERS ARE HERE

- Bizly losing his mind when Chet started talking is perfect I love Chet so much

- WEYLIN TWINS TIME!!!!!

- I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! HI HI HI HI HI

- IM CRYING THIS ENTIRE ENCOUNTER WITH CHET AND EMIZEL IS HILARIOUS

- “Hands too fast can’t stop them” Everyone breaks down laughing

- WHAT???? WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH EDWARD AND EMIZEL RIGHT NOW

- THE HELICOPTER HITS THE BARRIER????? WHAT??

- HE DIED????? RIP TAYLOR OH MY GOD

- NO HE SURVIVED LETS GOOOOOO HES NOT EVEN INJURED!!!!!

- Oh, :( one of the old people. It’s the people who know about the masquerade

- “Can you take me home?” “Yeah I’ll take you home” oh I’m gonna sob

- “I just walk with him for a while” “and then what?” “I don’t know. I keep walking. I don’t know where to take him” “ok, just keep walking” “Ben can you tell me about your family or anything you like?” And he just pointed out a bird in the trees :(( NOW HIM AND SHILO ARE TALKING ABOUT BIRDS IM NOT OK

- :( I agree with bizly this is the saddest thing Charlie has ever done

- I get why bizly said this destroyed him because I agree Ben’s whole situation is so incredibly sad

- Gotta wait to do part 2 but that was a phenomenal first half of the finale I loved it!!

[twistedastrology]

- Sirius & The Lion's Gate Portal -

----------------------------------------------------------

cannot guarantee every image is gonna be of sirius bc :( but i will try my best to make them cohesive anyway 🫡

ANYWAY so someone on reddit asked me what i thought abt the lion's gate portal n stuff (u know who u are!!) and i genuinely had like. Never thought abt it- im not much of a portal kinda guy like i know abt their existences for the most part but i never knew what made them... portals....

so i did a deep dive within the span of like 30 minutes bc im a gemini and here's everything i learned and everything i theorized 🫡🫡

let's start with the big one: THEY'RE LYING!!!!!!!!!! 🎶🎶🎶🎶 THIS IS THE GREATEST STORY!!! EVER TOLD!!!!!!🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

banger page break excuse-

so ya turns out a lot of ppl are actually lying abt what the lion's gate portal actually is, and dw i fell victim to this lie a couple days ago too before i learned all this 😵‍💫

so let's start with the myth

myth:

the lion's gate portal is when the sun is in conjunction with sirius in leo

fact:

that is not at all true- i pulled every chart you can imagine to figure out if maybe they were saying it's conjunct in sidereal or something and no, in no chart i pulled was sirius conjunct with the sun at what ppl consider the "peak of the lion's gate portal"

in the tropical zodiac, sirius sits at 14° cancer, and in sidereal it's like 19° gemini- so the sun was actually in conjunction with sirius way back on july 5th and i saw NOBODY putting up a fuss abt that 🤨🤨

another myth!!!!

myth:

the lion's gate portal is when the EARTH is in alignment with sirius

fact:

again!!! no!!!!! the earth is in AQUARIUS rn dawg sirius isn't even aspecting it in the tropical zodiac except for a fucking quincunx 😭😭😭😭

myth:

the lion's gate portal is when the sun, earth AND sirius all line up in some strange shape that i dont know what is

fact:

AGAIN!!!!! N O OO O O 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i pulled 500 thousand fucking charts trying to figure out if maybe the 3 were in a trine or a square or SOMETHING and i got NOTHING DAWG 😭😭😭😭

myth:

the lion's gate portal is when the sun is 15° through leo, therefore halfway thru the zodiac

fact:

Did we forget how to count. Halfway through the zodiac is 15° of VIRGO. LEO IS TBE F I F T H SIGN OUT OF T W EL V E. TWELVE DIVIDED BY 2 IS SIX!!!!!!!!!

now im gonna be fr im not sure if maybe it's "halfway thru the zodiac" as in halfway through the Year maybe??? But BRO IT'S IN AUGUST. HALFWAY THRU THE YEAR WAS 2 MONTHS AGO.

maybe im missing something on that one im not sure But from what ive gathered, we really like lying our asses off abt the lion's gate portal.

i just got all comfy layin on my bed hell yeah im abt to write at maximum efficiency-

Ok so let's talk abt sirius the star and the mythology n stuff we got goin on

lemme give u a snippet from wikipedia:

"Sirius is colloquially known as the "Dog Star", reflecting its prominence in its constellation, Canis Major (the Greater Dog). The heliacal rising of Sirius marked the flooding of the Nile in Ancient Egypt and the "dog days" of summer for the ancient Greeks."

the second they mentioned egypt i was like WHOA but also yes that is literally where the term dog days of summer comes from- Anyway-

so me, having the ancient egypt font of autism, i went and did more research- and i found out that the egyptians actually had a whole ass deity that was the personification of Sirius, that was how important the star was to them-

the goddess was named Sopdet, or Sothis to the greeks- i like the name sothis so we're gonna use that-

so the rising of sirius on the eastern horizon (aka the heliacal rising of sirius) always coincided with the annual flooding of the nile to the Egyptians, so they had a very positive view of the star and goddess, bc they were like "YOOOOO THE SHINY IS BACK IN THE SKY THE FUCKG NILE IS GONNA FLOOD LET'S GOOOOOOO- OUR CROPS ARE GONNA BE SO GOOD 😭😭😭😭"

basically. me personally if i was an Egyptian i would be just as hyped-

sothis was also conflated with isis and anubis, and in the old kingdom she was described as a psychopomp who guided pharoahs through the underworld- eventually she was like entirely subsumed into isis-

there was another god too called Sah, and he was the personification of the orion constellation- sah and sothis had a kid named sopdu, who was also venus aka the morning star-

the Egyptians really liked to blend people together sometimes so eventually Sah was just Osiris, Sothis was just Isis and Sopdu was just Horus-

so they were like "ok but let's give credit to original names hold on-" so they became Osiris-Sah, Isis-Sopdet and Horus-Sopdu 😭😭😭

cool mythology lesson bro, what's this gotta do with the lion's gate portal-

so we now know how important Sirius was to the egyptians, but what's cool is the greeks thought sirius was kinda garbage and a bad omen bc it coincided with ofc the dog days of summer, and "when men became weak and women became aroused" So i guess it qualifies to be the hot girl summer star 🫡

sirius is also known as our "spiritual sun", so i have a couple theories here

the lion's gate portal itself is on 08/08 every year, that's its peak because that's when the sun hits 15° of leo which is supposedly the peak of the sign-

and ofc it's the sign of the sun's rulership which i do not personally believe but ill get to that in a later tumblr post probably-

so it's special bc it's a cool number (an angel number) and it's sun stuff-

that's what the lion's gate portal Actually Is.

HOWEVER i dont think that that's the Portal itself- i think the real portal the egyptians had on lock-

i think the actual spiritual significance is the heliacal rising of sirius- which i BELIEVE starts in early july or so- probably around the time cancer season starts so maybe mid june- im not too sure but the later half of the year definitely- (update did some more research, july 19th is when sirius becomes visible at dawn- november 23rd it sets when the sun rises, January 3rd it rises when the sun sets so do with that what u will 💔)

so sirius coming up on the eastern horizon is what's cunty, not necessarily the lion's gate thingy that's just a bonus

what the heliacal rising of sirius Does may not affect everyone equally, but i imagine it would bring to light whatever cancer/gemini placements you have in your chart- so for me, i literally have sirius conjunct my ascendant.

and i think it's interesting, maybe just a coincidence or sumn actually cool, that sirius is part of the winter triangle (made up of itself, betelgeuse and procyon) and i have summertime depression 🫡 i get MISERABLE if it's too hot out but the second it starts getting cold???? U have no fucking idea how much energy i have instantly- that first breeze of winter hits and im wired for sound for the rest of the day i am NOT kidding-

and id like to do a post or a newsletter on specifically the 1st house bc ive been thinking abt it lately and i have a lot to yap abt 💔 (im doing a newsletter series on the water houses rn the 1st part is out ill link to it below this 🫡)

either way i think sirius activity coincides with spiritual awakening to some degree- and being a binary star system as well as its differing associations, i say it has the potential to be a hell star and a star that brings good fortune- so it's probably of the nature of saturn tbh

it being in cancer as well means neptune themes will end up coming out (for the ppl on tiktok reading this, i have a tumblr post explaining why i think neptune rules cancer 🫡 it's kinda out of date by this point i should probably do it again But it still stands) so even more spiritual stuff, soul level revelations, a heightened sense of vitality that you have no idea where it's coming from-

on the other side it could be Not Great and you could feel kind of out of bounds especially rn while neptune is in pisces-

im not totally sure on the interpretation just yet but ya the lion's gate portal kind of has nothing to do with sirius i fear- like it Kind Of coincides with the heliacal rising??? i think that's probably when the portal Opens but there's still not a lot goin on

the lion's gate portal itself is probably a good day for creative stuff tho and pursuing hobbies, manifesting them into your long term reality, etc- but ofc!!! like i always say!!! It Depends 🥳🥳🥳🥳 so what house u have leo in, what leo placements u have, what aspects u have, what leo degrees u have (even though swamp ass reddit mods wanna tell you that shit doesn't mean nothin), etc Like 😭😭😭

unfortunately i can't boil it down super easily BUT i hope u learned what the lion's gate portal and sirius are actually doing :)))))

im gonna go chill now and probably watch andrew huberman's podcast with david goggins while i edit or something- or totally ditch the braincell that wants to learn and instead watch markiplier play among us or uno for the 500th time- BUT!!!

ill leave u with links to newsletters ive written n other cool stuff for u to read and the titles of those things for the ppl on tiktok who aren't allowed to have clickable links bc tiktok said so ☹️

more fun stuff!!:

The Water Houses & Their Relations (Part 1) - newsletter by me 🥳 (focuses mainly on the 4th house 🫡)

The Moon vs Neptune - newsletter by me 🥳 (i explain why i swap the rulerships all the time 🫡)

Sirius (wikipedia page)

Sopdet/Sothis (wikipedia page)

BIG BONUS!!!

twisted astrology discord server!

im still kinda working on the discord but i figure there's only so much i can do with nobody in it, so join it and we'll figure it out together!!! i also can't guarantee ill be super active but ill do my best!!! especially if u send questions n stuff 🥳🥳

ok that's abt it- see ya 🫡

[thelreads]

HELL FUCKING YEAH

WE WON BOYS, WE WON

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOO