#HE ONLY SAID HE HATED HER TO TRY TO HURT HER

[sstargirln]

❞ ᝰ .ᐟ stepdad(dy)!art

TW: smut MDNI - p in v, not proofread, so so much swearing, so much dirty talk oops, fauxcest/stepcest

word count: 2301

¡! ❞! a/n aka post-nut clarity : yikes! i am down BAD

“where the fuck have you been?” art's voice cut through the empty front foyer, his eyes narrowed and arms crossed as you stumble through the front door.

just a few years ago, art was nothing but a familiar face in tennis circles, your mom’s high-profile client from her days as a sports agent. you remembered watching his matches on tv when you were younger. hearing his name murmured around the house—art donaldson, the untouchable tennis star and his wife, tashi. but that marriage had fallen apart, fast. 

and then one day, you came home to find him at the dinner table, leaning back in his chair like he’d always belonged there. they were dating, your mom had said, not hiding the glint of satisfaction in her eyes as if she’d snagged the catch of the century. you never asked how it started, only watched as art slowly slipped from the screen into your everyday life.

art liked it—a family that wasn’t a media-fueled whirlwind, even if the kid was closer to his age than to being an actual child. 

the past few years had gone smoothly enough. art had settled into this new life, used to the late nights your mom spent at the office . . . and then you turned 18. and you were a rebellious mess of late nights and tight dresses and barely concealed fluttery eyelashes.  

whatever you were doing — if you meant to or not, was working. you were turning heads, catching eyes. and art’s mind had begun to shift as well. darken. 

he had begun to become infected by this feeling, creeping under his skin like poison. it bloomed inside him, a constant, gnawing need that he hated himself for. his thoughts spiraled, to you, to your body, to the way your mouth moved when you smiled, when you spoke. worst of all, the way the word daddy slipped from your lips effortlessly, so innocently.

“you reek. are you drunk?”  

you shake your head ever so slightly as you stumble towards the couch. "no, daddy, don't be ridiculous," you giggled, your words slurring. you adjust up the hem of your sleeveless dress as you spread on the couch, hair falling into your face. "i'm . . . tipsy at best."

art clenches his jaw at the sound of that forbidden word on your lips. his heart pounds in his chest, and he feels it low in his stomach, a jolt of heat straight to his groin.

he knows this is wrong, knows he shouldn't be picturing all the filthy things he wants to do to you, sprawled on the couch under him. "tipsy, my ass. who were you with?" he managed to choke out. 

you roll your eyes as you look up at him. "my friend sierra. went to a party." you lick your lips slowly, foot reaching out to graze against his leg. "my neck hurts from looking up at you, daddy. si'down." 

fuck, what are you doing? trying to drive him crazy? it's working. his cock twitches traitorously in his pants, already starting to stiffen at your casual touch. his body moves before his brain can catch up, sinking down onto the cushion beside you. "there. happy now?" he tries to keep his tone gruff, unaffected. 

you nod slightly, a small smirk tugging at your lips before you lean back with a pout, your eyes heavy. "so . . . what're you gonna do? hm? ground me?" you rest your legs across his lap.

it takes every ounce of his self-control not to reach out and touch you. all he can think how soft your skin must feel, how you would taste if he leaned in and ran his tongue along your inner thigh. his hands clench into fists at his sides, nails digging into his palms. "maybe I should call your mother. let her deal with you. this is ridiculous. "

but even as the words leave his mouth, he knows he won't do it. knows he'll take the fall for you, like always. because despite his better judgment, despite the sickness churning in his gut at his own twisted desires — he can't bear the thought of disappointing you. 

you just giggled at his scolding, apparently too far gone to care. you shift on the cushions, arch your back slightly. making the flimsy sundress ride up even higher on your thighs, giving art a peek of red lace that he should not be seeing. art swallowed hard, a muscle in his jaw ticking.

 the room is silent for a few moments, art’s confrontation long dissipated. 

“mom’s gone a lot, hm?” your slurred, shaky voice snaps him out of his daze. you shift closer to him, foot brushing right against his crotch. 

art inhales sharply, his cock twitching as your foot grazes his straining erection. a flicker of panic passes over his face before he could hide it. "what the hell is that supposed to mean?" he asked defensively, crossing his arms, trying to steady himself.

you just smirk up at him, eyes glinting mischievously even through the drunken haze. "oh c'mon, daddy, you know exactly what i mean." you draw out the forbidden word, letting it hang in the charged air between them. lick your lips. bat your lashes oh so innocently. "y'know, 's just that she’s never around anymore. mus' get real lonely for you.”

“don’t . . .” he choked. art dragged a hand over his face, trying to collect himself. "just go to bed," he stammered wearily, unable to meet your eyes. "we'll talk more about this in the morning when you're sober."

but you don’t listen, continue on as if he never said anything — lips curling into a knowing smirk. "mm, poor daddy," you murmur, a soft, taunting lilt to your voice. "don’t get much action, i’m sure."  

art exhales sharply, his eyes flicking to yours, then quickly away. “you need to go to bed.”

you scoot closer, your legs brushing against his. "i don’t want to sleep," you murmur, leaning in just enough for him to feel your breath against his ear. "maybe i want some attention. i know you do." 

“fuck,” he croaked. “stop.”

but you just smile up at him. lean in just a little. "must be hard, having so much to . . . hold in,” you whisper, your fingers trailing lazily along the edge of his sleeve. 

“please," he rasped. "we can't. i'm your father, for fuck's sake.” the words sounded weak even to his own ears. his resistance was crumbling by the second, defenses worn down by months of pent-up lust and longing. 

“not really.”

"go to bed," he repeats. this time his voice is barely more than a whimper.

"yeah, i'll go to bed . . .  but i’ll be thinking about you."

art's eyes slid shut as your fingers worked their way beneath the hem of his shirt, nails raking lightly over his abs. a low groan escaped him, the sound foreign to his own ears. he was in so deep, drowning in a sea of forbidden lust. 

“mhm, i’ll be thinking about you, daddy. are you gon’ make me take care of this myself?”  

art's breath hitched as your fingers trailed lower, brushing against the waistband of his jeans. his hips jerked involuntarily, aching for more contact despite the voice in the back of his head screaming at him to stop this madness. 

you pressed a kiss to his cheek, slow, wet. he wants to turn his head, to capture your lips with his own. to claim you, to ruin you for any other man. but he can't. he shouldn't. 

"please," he begs, but he's not even sure what he's asking for anymore. for you to stop? or for you to keep going, to grind against him until he explodes?

"i think you want this jus’ as badly as i do, huh?" your hand slid lower, brushing over the bulge straining against his zipper. "so why don't you stop fighting and just give in?"

and that's when art's careful control shattered. the last thread snapped, and a ragged curse tore from his throat as his hands shot out, grabbing your hips and hauling you onto his lap. capturing your mouth in a bruising kiss, he scrabbles at your dress, rips it down.

he kisses you like a drowning man gasping for air, devouring you, pouring all his pent-up desire into the heated embrace. his fingers tangled in you hair, tugging roughly as he angled your head to deepen the kiss. you moan into his mouth, your own hands frantically roaming his chest and shoulders. art feels you grinding against him, the heat searing him even through his clothes.

he broke away from her lips to trail open-mouthed kisses along your jaw. down the column of her throat. "fuck, you drive me crazy," he growled against your skin, nipping at your pulse point.

your head lolls back, a wanton moan spilling from your lips. "please," you whimper, fingers scrabbling at his shirt. "i need you so bad."

art's mouth latched onto a pebbled nipple, sucking and biting as he ground his aching cock against you. his hands found your mouth, and he shoved a finger in. your tongue instinctively curling around the digits, lapping at them greedily. you mewled around his fingers, the sound muffled and desperate as arched into him, your own hands frantically working to undo his belt and zipper. art hissed in pleasure as your freed his throbbing member, stroking him slowly while he continued to ravish your chest. " 'm gonna fuck you so good." his hips rock into your hand, seeking more of that delicious friction.

he pulls back just enough to look into your eyes, pupils blown wide with lust. "i'm going to make you mine," he growls, fingers delving into your panties to stroke your slick folds. "gon' — fuck. gonna stretch this pretty pussy out. yeah? . . . yeah, 's that what you want?"

it's filthy, degrading, everything he knows he shouldn't want. but god help him, he can't stop. you nod desperately as you groan into his touch, grip on his dick loosening for a second when he teases your entrance with a finger. another light brush and he lifts his hand to your mouth, slipping it back inside between your lips before scooching back. pressing his cock to your entrance through your lacy panties. "pl — please," you cry, eyes wide and watery. "fuck me, please."

art groans, grinding his cock against your soaked panties. the heat of you seeps through the lacy fabric, making him throb with need. he rubs his tip against the practically see-through fabric, soaked through with arousal. relishes your needy, breathy moans. he hooks his fingers around your panties and rips them away, baring you completely to his hungry gaze. "look at you," he rasps, drinking in the sight of you spread out beneath him, glistening. ready. "so fucking perfect. fuck — 'm gonna . . . i'm gon' wreck this pussy, baby. make it all mine, yeah?" he slaps his length against your clit, smirking crookedly at the way you whimper. "make you forget about all those other — other little boys, yeah?"

and with that, he notches the head of his dick against your entrance and surges forward, burying himself balls-deep in your tight, slick pussy. you cry out, back arching off the couch as he fills you. stretches you, claims you.

he sets a punishing pace, fucking into you like a man possessed. the wet slap of skin on skin fills the room, punctuated by your pornographic moans and his grunts of pleasure "fuckkk," you whine into him languidly, hands scrabbling against his thick arms. "fuck, daddy. you're — you're so fucking big."

he leans down to capture your lips in a filthy kiss, all teeth and tongue. swallows your cries of ecstasy as he pounds into you. he grunts, fingers digging into your hips hard enough to bruise. "you like this, huh? like daddy's big . . . fuck — big cock splitting you open, hm?"

you nod with a sob, thighs shaking at the relentless snapping of his hips into yours. his fingers find your clit, rubbing mercilessly. pushing you closer to the edge with every touch.

"gonna cum," he warns breathlessly, hips stuttering. "gon' fill your cunt up, baby. breed this pussy."

he leans down to bite at your neck, sucking dark bruises into your skin. marking you as his territory.

"cum for me, baby," he demands, voice strained with impending release. "milk — milk me fuckin' dry."

the filthy words send you over the edge, your walls clamping down on him like a vice. you cum with a scream, convulsing around his shaft as he empties himself inside you with a loud moan.

he collapses on top of you, both of you panting and sated. for a long moment, he just holds you, nuzzling into your neck. you smile at him like you'd just won the lottery, legs wrapping around his hips.

"am i better than mom?" you whispered into his ear.

he lets out a real, honest-to-god bark of a laugh. "jesus christ," he pants. "you're fucking . . . you're amazing. fucking intense."

understatement of the century. he just fucked his stepdaughter senseless, filled her with his babies, and he's already craving more. fuck, he's in deep. so fucking deep. literally and figuratively.

¡! ❞ © niya-writesshit 2024

[ennn]

Unpacking the Deals of Ep 8: Why and What They Mean

So episode 8 is... let's say a bit of a mess. I know there's some confusion around why Agatha proposes her terms for the first deal, why Rio flipped into cackling villain mode, why Rio makes another deal, etc.

Here's my read that hopefully helps draw a line from point A to B to C.

Let's consider the context of the first deal: Agatha's not having a good day. Two coven members who Agatha never expected to care about have died trying to protect her – a thing that has never happened before. And Death happens to be a person she can blame.

Death, who is pressing on that bruise ("Your coven is shrinking") and making her shitty day worse because she wants the kid Agatha is hardcore projecting on (and also didn't plan to care about) to die. Just like Nicky.

But Agatha then realises she has leverage on Rio. For the first time in forever, she has an advantage she can exploit. She can be in control.

And it's almost instinctive for Agatha at this point: finding the best buttons to push, the best terms for her given the opportunity.

Agatha: If I deliver Billy, you let me go. Rio: You will eventually die, Agatha. Agatha: But I want you to stop pursuing me. I want you to stop making my life hell. And when I die, a long, long, long, long, long time from now, I don't want to see your face. Rio: ... Okay.

The terms that Agatha sets out seem cruel because they are. She says what she does because she wants it to hurt. Agatha's not only rejecting Rio's continued presence in her life, she's denying all the love that Rio's given her, building on what she's said before ("You gave me nothing.")

From Rio's POV, Agatha's cutting words aside, this entire deal sucks. Because the options are:

(a) Agatha doesn't hold up her end, which Rio knows might happen: Rio knows Agatha cares about Billy ("I know how you feel about him"). Rio's constantly reminding her he's not Nicky. She was already doubting Agatha would deliver her usual number of corpses. She saw how affected Agatha was after Alice's death.

If Agatha doesn't help, she'd be choosing a boy over everything Rio's done again – and this time another woman's.

And if Rio somehow manages to take Billy anyway, Agatha will end up hating her twice forever.

(b) Agatha does hold up her end, which might also happen: Rio knows Agatha's manipulative and smart and capable. More than that, she's well aware Agatha hates her. That Agatha still doesn't see what she's done for her ("No one in history has had special treatment like you").

That she knows Agatha does care about Billy but maybe hates her so much that she's willing to go through with this to cut her out from her life. Billy would be a dear price but one Agatha's maybe willing to pay.

Even if it was a 50:50 chance for these options, I think Rio realises her relationship with Agatha is doomed either way.

Either way she does her job, with or without Agatha's help, she's going to be rejected and lose. One's just a slower path than the other.

I think that's why Rio gives in to her rage and bitterness and spite. Agatha thinks Rio's been making her life hell? She'll show her hell.

And Agatha, well I think there's some merit to the thinking that she didn't expect Rio to fold that quickly and completely.

Now for the context of the second deal, it's not clear whether Rio knows what happened with Tommy. I assume Rio doesn't – not yet anyway – as she doesn't mention it at all and seems focused on squaring that one life Billy stole.

Now here's where it gets a little squirrely, to borrow Schaeffer's language. Because if you don't look too closely, it seems to make sense: Billy stole a life so to maintain the natural balance, Rio needs to take a life, the one Billy has now.

But how does Agatha's life work as a substitute for this imbalance (“This means you’re coming with me”)? Would any other person’s life work? Could Rio have swapped someone else's life to save Nicky then? Agatha would have been all too happy to arrange for that murder.

I doubt the show is ever going to explain this so I offer few possible theories to deal with this weirdness:

Billy Maximoff is a product of chaos magic, so his existence and everything he affects already throws off the natural order, just to different orders of magnitude. Agatha’s life works as a substitute because his life is now intertwined with hers e.g. his hex probably saved her life from the Salem Seven and has the potential for greater imbalance

Rio is aware of Agatha’s tendency towards chaos and defiance of the natural order. Rio bent the rules of the universe only for Agatha. Taking her life would protect the balance in the larger scheme of things – if only so Rio won’t be further tempted to give her special treatment.

When Rio’s torturing Agatha it’s before she presents the second deal. So she’s still intending to go after Billy, she’s just removing Agatha as an obstacle while lashing out in rage and heartbreak.

In this moment Rio probably thinks Billy's in the wind. She saw how upset Billy was with Agatha at the end of episode 5. And Rio knows the reputation Agatha keeps ("Why do you let them believe those things about you?"), Rio probably thinks Agatha deliberately drove him off to keep him safe.

Then Billy pops up and Rio sees that Billy and Agatha care about each other and they're both aware they care about each other.

Fuckin’ great. Rio's not bitter at all.

Looks like you two are finally on the same page. So I'll let you decide. One of you stays with me. The other walks free.

Agatha proposed a deal designed to hurt her? Now it’s her turn.

From Rio's POV, I think here are the possible outcomes:

(a) Agatha sacrifices herself for Billy: Not impossible I think. Rio knows Agatha cares about the boy but she also knows Agatha will do anything to survive. She thinks she's above death. But again, I think Rio also knows Agatha would have sacrificed herself for Nicky if she had that choice.

What did Lorna want from the Road? To save her daughter.

This isn't an ideal outcome for Rio but she’s already resigned herself to losing Agatha I think, one way or another. This way if Agatha wants Billy to live so badly, this is the price she has to pay. The high cost of living.

(b) Billy steps up and sacrifices himself: Very possible given that Billy’s a young heroic sort and already showed up, risking his life to power up Agatha. Rio gets to do her job. Agatha will probably hate her more given the Nicky trauma but Rio’s already resigned to this on some level already, which is why she's raging.

Either way Agatha's going to hurt, and Rio's going to hurt.

It's interesting that when Billy does volunteer himself and Agatha seizes the opportunity to remind Rio of their earlier deal, Rio just shakes her head and looks amused.

You can also see for a brief moment Agatha looking almost remorseful about doing this before slipping her theatrical villainous mask on, overcompensating for her true feelings.

Do you remember pain? It kinda tickles doesn't it?

By the letter (not the spirit or intent) of the first deal, Agatha did ultimately fulfil her part:

I can arrange that. I can get him to the finish line and deliver him to you.

This is an opportunity that's almost impossible to resist for someone as calculating and ruthless and selfish like Agatha. She has power (chaos magic no less), she can have Rio leave her alone forever (she knows Rio honours her word), she knows Billy cares about her but can she really trust him?

But Agatha ultimately decides to take a risk. A calculated one sure, but still a risk.

I think the beauty in the kiss and her sacrifice is how – despite her calculating the odds – Agatha is choosing to give in to what she feels and wants in that moment.

Because she does want to protect the boy in a way no one did for her when she was young. She wants to save Billy like she couldn't with Nicky. And she does want Rio so much despite everything that's happened.

[saturnsorbits]

In Another Life

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen, Warnings: Rough Sex, Hate Sex, Forced Orgasm, Orgasm Denial, Mentions of Geto x Reader/Gojo. Word Count: 5.5k.

Summary: After a near miss with Megumi lands him in the infirmary, you find yourself back at the place you said you’d never return to.

A/N: Honestly, Gojo is a bitch to write for me. There's something I was trying to do here, hopefully it worked.

Rain bounces off the concrete. It hammers at your umbrella, collecting in the sagging canopy that is held aloft by bent metal spokes. A fight surrendered. You cling to its handle, sheltering under its non-existent protection as the front of your t-shirt fades to a dull translucence. Each of your steps spits up water that collects into puddles in your shoes, dampening your socks and putting a squelch in your stride as you continue down the road.

You don't care how much the puddles are soaking your legs. You're too angry.

You're angry a lot lately.

Since it happened, there's been a numbness spreading through you. A hollow that you can't fill no matter how much you eat, or drink... Or hurt. Your heart, once a delicate and proud thing, is shattered. Its fiberglass shards an ever present ache that only seems to deepen with each breath you take without him.

Approaching the main entrance of the Gojo estate, you find the gate unlocked. Beyond the path is immaculate. A thick cobbled road twists through the grounds connecting the main building to it's out houses, bordering the neatly styled gardens and surrounding the large pond stocked with expensive koi.

There's a catfish in there too, somewhere, one that's far outgrown its water-mates. It must cost an arm to feed, but you doubt Gojo minds; there's no way he'd get rid of it.

You clench your jaw.

It's from a distance that you finally spot her. Leaning against a wooden pillar on the back porch is the familiar figure of Shoko Ieire. She's backlight by candle light, a shadow of herself as she watches you with tired eyes. There's purpling to her skin, the etch of exhaustion ever present on her features now. A cigarette is balanced between two of her slender fingers, already half smoked to ash. She raises it to her lips as she watches you pass, a vulture on her stoop.

You don't speak to her. You never do. But, before you can vanish from sight, she sighs. 'You're only hurting yourselves... Fighting won't bring him back. No matter how much we all miss him.'

Her words are seeds, burrowing into the soft flesh at the back of your neck. They'll sprout there no doubt and eat you from the inside out, creeping into your sinew until you can think of nothing else... You block out the thought. Instead turning your attention to your chosen method of abuse and the flicker of rage still alight in your chest.

Hurrying now, you don't bother to avoid the squeaking stair that leads to the front door of the outhouse. There's no point. His eyes have followed you since your umbrella broke almost thirty minutes ago, since before you left Jujutsu High with tears still glistening on your cheeks, since before you dismissed Shoko and wrapped a blanket around Yuji's shoulders.

The door opens.

'Who did I piss off to deserve a surprise visit from you?' Gojo Satoru is shirtless and smirking. The plain of his chest is broad with lean corded muscle that is almost entirely scarless: a luxury only he can afford. Standing aside, he raises his eyebrows above his blindfold. He likes it when you're angry. 

Angry is easier than the other thing.

You barge your way past him, catching him hard on the shoulder as you go. 'You're fucking out of order for sending him in there like that.' Tossing your bag, you wheel about on your heel readying a second volley of vitriol. 'He's sixteen and you sent him on a fucking special grade case. It's a miracle he's in the state he is and not dead.'

Gojo closes the door, shrugs. 'He's not dead, consider it a… Learning curve.'

'A fucking -.' You bite your tongue. Draw blood. Taste metal.  'Are you insane?'

Gojo smiles. 'People have called me a lot worse.'

Bile licks at your stomach, promising a brutal climb up your throat. You ball your hands into fists, basking in the bite of your nails against your palm. You'd hit him if you thought it would do any good. Instead, you go for his jugular with the next best thing. 'He'd be so disappointed in you...'

Gojo stills.

The words sink into Gojo's back and slip between his shoulder blades. The muscle there locks, knotting as he refuses to turn and face you. His breath is tucked away in his chest, wedged between his third and forth ribs. When he speaks, his voice is a whisper – a broken sound that creaks through his lips. 'Don't do that. Be angry with me, but don't do that.'

A win. 

The fracture in his armor shines bright, allowing you to dig in further. 'This is what tipped him over the edge, Satoru. This needless fucking sacrifice.' 

The words repeat on you, anger clawing at your stomach again. You can still feel it. The blood seeping through your fingers had been hot and sticky, flowing steady no matter how hard you pressed against his chest. The smell of blood is cloying, lingering even now as the memories attempt to drag you back.

He'd looked so broken. His body a dead weight on Yuji's shoulders as he'd carried him to the infirmary, picking his way across the courtyard through tears. You'd held the boys insides closed as well as you could, hoping that it would be enough.

It had taken hours.

When Shoko had done all she could, she'd sat down beside you; her throat dry, hands steady despite the shake in her voice. 'He's out of the woods, the rest is up to him.'

You blink tears from your eyes and watch as Yuji bends himself into the curl of a question mark just to link his little finger with Megumi's. 'Do you remember when he was little?'

He looks like that now, you think. Young. His face is a picture perfect imitation of the youth he's been cheated out of. His bird-bone chest fragile, stuttering out uneven breaths in a manner that betrays his injuries. In-between his eyebrows a notch of tension subsists, creasing the skin and ruining the childish pout placed delicately on his lips. Yuji reaches out and presses his thumb to the wrinkle, smoothing it out with a gentle stroke.

'He was always serious, even then.' Shoko mumbles. There's the smallest glittering of fondness in her eyes when she thinks back to the small child they'd all first met.

He'd been a shock that's for sure. Barely ten and striding beside The Gojo Satoru like he couldn't care less. His upbringing had already hardened him to the world, but even that wasn't enough to prepare him for what was ahead.

You'd watched him grow from that small, insolent child to a young man with a bleeding heart. The same heart that often lead to... Well, this.

The numbness in your chest stirs. How often have you been sitting here? How often have you watched white sheets be pulled over broken bodies? Your fellow sorcerers fighting for their lives in metal beds? 

It's on days like these when his old rhetoric tastes sweet on your tongue.

Turning, Gojo fixes you with a cold stare.The shine in his eyes has gone flat, leaving nothing, but the glacier behind. He’s challenging you, forcing you to bare witness to the eye of the storm - the Gojo Satoru that everyone is so, so scared of. 'Do you really think I enjoy it?’ 

You lick the inside of your mouth and taste venom. ‘I don’t know. Do you?’ 

His shoulders sag. ‘No.’ 

‘Then, why.’ 

There’s laughter basking on the back of his tongue, it lingers there tasting sweet until he swallows it. Holding his arms out, he crucifies himself - a false God standing before you, out of place in his own living room. ‘I’m Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer - last of his line, inheritor of both my clan's great techniques.’ 

‘You’re boasting.’ 

‘Admonishing, actually.’ 

You snap, tiring of his games. ‘You -.’ 

The tips of his tongue finds his teeth, caresses them. ‘I,’ he spits. ‘Can’t save them all, so what am I supposed to do except prepare them?.’ 

‘Is that what you’re going to hide behind? Really?’ You seethe. It’s the same excuse he’d given back then, back when betrayal was a word you used instead of a name - except now, you know it’s all bullshit, not just the sad words of a terrified boy. 

Gojo chuckles. Sinking his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he bunches the muscle of his shoulders into a shrug. ‘What then? Stop the curses? Jujutsu? Or maybe it’s the people I should -.’ 

‘Careful…’ You growl. ‘You’re starting to sound like him.’

‘So are you.’ He tilts his head, considers you for a breath too long. He shouldn’t have made it personal, but it’s hard not too when he can hear his words in your voice. ‘You’ve been sounding like him for a while.’ 

Letting your eyes drop to the floor, you speak to the ground. A moment of weakness you know will cost you. ‘I know you think you were the only person who loved him, but you aren’t.’ 

‘Oh, I know.’ Gojo snorts. It’s an ugly thing, a break in the lul that cracks you over the head like a whip. He’s decided to make it bitchy, he might as well draw blood - it isn’t as if you’re not looking for your own pound of flesh. Licking over his lips, he lets them curl into a smile. ‘You were always barking at his heels. I was barely able to get his cock down my throat without you walking in.’ 

You choke, ‘You -.’ 

‘No,’ he relents, before doubling down: hard. ‘But if it was going to be either of us we both know it would have been me.’ 

‘Oh, fuck you, Satoru.’ 

‘Will I do? Not much of a substitute for our dear -.’ 

The bow of your heartstring breaks. You’re not sure you could take hearing his name fall from Gojo’s lips, so instead, you shout. Cutting him off, you submit to the anger winding its way up your legs. It sneaks through you, hijacking your veins and making your entire body burn. ‘You’re fucking insufferable, Gojo Satoru the strongest fucking sourcerer, you’re just an immature, arrogant prick underneath it all, aren’t you?’ Your chest is heaving, the barbs Gojo has dug there sting leaving you breathless and bleeding. 

Gojo shrugs again. 

‘You never fucking cared, did you? Not about Megumi… Suguru.’ 

You don’t see him move, but you feel him. His chest presses into yours forcing you back against the wall as he towers above. A rush of wind follows, the harsh huffs of breath panted across your face as he fights a losing battle with his composure.There’s a tension in his cheek, the muscle ticking as it’s stretched over bone. It’s the same in his fist. Porcelain skin pales, striated over both his knuckles and jaw alike. 

Part of you knows you should be scared. Better sorcerer's than you would be. 

But, it’s your fault. 

You committed the sin. 

You should know better than to utter his name. 

Gojo snarls, his lips pulling back to show off clenched teeth. He looks like an animal, his hackles up - body tensed and primed to spring an attack. You’d be forgiven to assume that he was a predator on the hunt and not a taunted beast cornered. ‘I think you should leave.’ 

‘You’d like that wouldn’t you.’ Leaning forward, you jab a finger into the divot of his chest and feel the digit bend.

‘Leave.’ It’s a dare, a vicious mockery as it drips from his tongue. He doesn’t retreat. Instead, he opens himself, rolling his shoulders until you’d have a clear shot and juts up his chin.

The air between you is thick. You can feel his breath, each exhale fans your collarbones - warm and wanting as you both bask in the stalemate. The anger in your stomach simmers, the hatred too, bubbles, acidic and fierce as it eats you from the inside out. You’re not sure why you came here anymore, why you’re not holding vigil in the infirmary or demanding meetings with a set of higher-ups that will discard your words. 

It’s not like anything can shake The Gojo Satoru. 

No. Even he couldn’t do that. 

Gojo’s challenge remains unanswered. It hangs there, demanding an answer while evading both of you. 

Swallowing hesitancy, you steel yourself and dig in your heels. This used to be his job, standing in Gojo’s way - holding onto his heels so he couldn’t fly too far, but that was all before. Breathing deep, you will your voice not to waver. ‘Is that really what you -.’ 

Reaching up, Gojo hooks a finger under the material of his blind fold and tugs. 

Your breath sticks. 

There, basking in the ice pools of Gojo’s eyes are tears. They glitter, lost stars already fallen, destined to never see the sky again. 

It’s an admission, one that is as much yours as it is his. You lean forward, let yourself tip. 

You taste salt when he kisses you. The sting of his teeth takes hold of your lower lip, but he soothes it quickly with the salve of his tongue. Dipping into your mouth, he flicks over your teeth before shoving you bodily against the wall. Your collision isn’t gentle, it’s messy, desperate as you're suddenly forced to fight. 

One of his hands loops around the back of your neck, his long fingers splaying across your nape as he pulls you in to devour you. You lean in, let him have you while your hands explore his chest. Palm first, you press to him letting the contours of his body guide your touch. He shivers as the tips of your fingers crest over his nipples, the rose buds pebbling under your fingers as your thumbs follow in succession. 

He moans into your mouth, the noise going straight to your cunt as he readjusts his stance and slips a knee between your thighs. The angle is delicious, his height providing the perfect slope for you to grind against as you cling onto his shoulders for stability. 

‘Fuck.’ Gojo’s chest heaves as he pulls back. You’re a vision, with the evidence of his desire shining on your lips and the heat he can feel seeping into his thigh. Reaching out, he presses a thumb to your lips and leverages open your mouth to press down your tongue. ‘I’m not going to be gentle.’ He counsels. 

Licking up his thumb, you bite harshly just before the nail. When the digit retreats, you smile. ‘Neither am I.’ 

He nods, planning his next move, but you beat him to the punch. Your hand wraps around his cock and squeezes, cutting off his common sense and rendering him blank. A gasp fills his chest almost suffocating him as you smooth a thumb over his head and toy with his sanity. 

You cock your head, pleased with the higher ground. ‘Y’know, for all the girls you used to bring back - we were also so curious as to why we never heard anything.’ Flicking your wrist, you force Gojo to flatten his hands against the wall beside you to remain upright. He locks his knees, eyes rolling skyward. ‘I was so sure it was because your cock was small.’ 

He grins at that. Bravado gifts him a reprieve, ‘What’s it feel like to be wrong, sweetheart?’ 

‘Oh, I’m fine with that.’ Rubbing your thumb down his shaft, you release him just as his hips begin to grind into your hand. ‘I’m just worried about you not knowing what to do with it…’ 

Gojo hisses through his teeth and removes his leg from between your thighs. It’s petty, he knows, but the whine that rattles your throat is payment enough. Silencing you with a kiss, he licks into your mouth, hungrier now as you scramble for purchase on his shoulders. Your desperation makes him harder, has him leaking more into his underwear. ‘I’m getting sick of that smart mouth.’ 

Catching his eye, you smirk. ‘You’ll never get sick of my mouth.’ 

‘Oh, yeah?’ He raises his eyebrows, ready to add his own witty retort. He can already picture it now. You, on your knees, your eyes fluttering shut, your throat open. He wonders how hot your mouth would be, how soft your tongue would feel as it laved over the thick vein on the underside of his cock. Gritting his teeth, he allows himself a brief moment to regain control. 

‘Yeah.’

Your voice brings out gooseflesh across the back of his neck. He shivers, feels his chest swell with anticipation. He’s going to ruin you, that’s for sure. He might even make you thank him for it afterwards. He’s about to command you to kneel, to put you in your place, but he doesn’t even get the chance. 

You shove him. 

Hooking a toe behind his heel, you chuckle when he hits the floor with an ungraceful thump. He grunts, hands snapping to brace himself just as your knees crunch on the hardwood beside him. 

The force of the landing sends an ache through his bones, vibrating his joints. His temper flares, annoyance itching at his fingers as admonishes himself for his lapse in focus. Still, all is forgotten as your fingers begin to work at his belt. 

Wasting no time, you undo the clasp and yank the leather through the loops. The belt cracks, causing Gojo to flick up his eyebrows once more. ‘Be careful…’ You tease, snapping it again. ‘Or I’ll be using this as a collar.’

‘Promises, promises.’ He reaches out a hand and lets his fingers trail across the plush of your thighs, admiring. Stretching, he curls himself into a lower case ‘C’ to grip the fat of your ass and administer a singular hard slap. 

You catch your lip between your teeth and work quicker, unbuttoning and tugging denim down his thighs. There’s no bothering with unclothing completely. You don’t even bother to strip him of his underwear. Instead you slip them just low enough to expose the wiry mess of his pubic hair and hook the elastic underneath his balls. 

He hisses as his cock is exposed to the air. It bobs there, aching, hard and flushed down to the base. He’s long and leaning, with a pinkened head that gleans with pre-cum. Each droplet drips down his shaft, rolling over the rivers of thick purpling veins until they reach the base and stick into the cloying nest of pubic hair. 

The sight of him makes your cunt clench, anxious to be full. You strip, ignoring the low whistle that slips from Gojo’s lips as you lose your pants and pull aside your underwear. Straddling him, you bat away his hands when he attempts to take hold of your waist and hover above his cock. 

Chuckling, he leans back, tucking his palms under his head. ‘You’re gonna want to prep yourself for that -.’ The pet name never manages to flick off of his tongue. He gasps, the air shocked and frozen in his lungs as a violent tightness overtakes him. The muscles in his legs flex, his toes curling as he struggles to comprehend the sudden pressure zipping down his body. 

Reaching between your thighs, you spread yourself and take him whole. He’s large enough to steal your breath, but you’re careful not to let it show. You settle, feeling the muscle of his hips twitch underneath you.

‘Careful…’ 

‘I’ve taken bigger with less prep… Sweetheart.’ 

Gojo opens his mouth to speak, but all that leaves his throat is a moan. His hands shoot out, body curled as you intercept him in midair and wrap your fingers around his wrists. Rendered useless, he allows you to guide him, allows you to press his hands to your hips, to encourage him to grip, to hold and pinch. A passenger in his own body, he lets the feel of you envelop him, smothering him until biting his lip is all he can do to keep the strings of babbling moans trapped in his mouth, 

You’re annoyed to discover that he sounds as pretty as he looks. His eyes have thawed, limpid pools shining as he looks at you with something you’re not willing to give a name. Slipping your hands over his, you shift his grip down your body and press into him until he takes hold of your ass. Kneading the fat there, you moan, enjoying his heat on your skin as you begin to move. You ride him how you want to. For your pleasure and not his. 

Battling the thing inside of him that screams at him to submit, Gojo wrenches his hands from your grip. Your fingers softened around his wrists with pleasure provide little resistance, as does your body as he takes a hold of your waist and plants his feet on the floor. 

The first thrust takes you off guard. His cock spears you, pressing hard against the roof of your cunt making you see static. The second you’re prepared for. Ignoring the fluttering of your cunt you throw your weight forward and slam a palm down beside his head. 

‘C’mon Princess,’ Gojo coo’s. His pace doesn’t falter. The slap of skin fills the room as his thighs hit your ass over and over again. Your cunt swallows him, arousal dripping down his length making the entire room sound like sin. ‘Hear that… Your cunt loves it. I can feel you dripping down me.’ 

You grit your teeth. Shifting your weight, you force your ass back against him, meeting each of his thrusts. 

‘That’s it, good girl.’ Gojo snarks. ‘See how much better it is when you just fucking -.’ 

The remainder of his sentence is cut off and swallowed, trapped in his throat as you wrap your fingers around it. 

His cock jumps inside of you. 

You squeeze harder. 

A broken moan trickles over his lips. 

‘You’re fucked up.’ You laugh, exasperated. His pace has slowed, but still his hips shift forcing you to take his cock over and over again. Sitting down on him hard, you match his thrusts with a grind - catching your clit on the thicket of pubic hair covering his crotch. Pleasure uses your ribs as a climbing frame, springing off of your organs and making you feel light. 

Gojo grins, teeth shining. ‘Says the woman with her hand around my throat.’ 

‘Oh fuck off.’ 

‘Get me off and I might.’ 

‘You think I’m going to let you cum?’ Without releasing him, you straighten. Your grip forces him to come with you, to sit up and flatten his legs. His thrusting stops. His eyebrows raise. 

With your free hand, you break through the buttons of your shirt and take hold of your tit, squeezing the flesh. Rolling your nipple between the knuckles of two fingers, you work yourself up to hardness and suck air through your teeth. Your petting only makes you wetter, the subtle flicks of your hips keeping your body taught as you creep steadily towards your orgasm. Pushing out your chest, you offer it to Gojo with a command. ‘Suck.’ 

He wets his lips. 

You tighten your grip on his throat. Feel his cock kick again. ‘If you’re waiting for a please, you’ll be waiting a long time…’ 

Gojo lets his tongue lol out of his mouth. Using only the tip, he flicks it against your nipple, but retreats as soon as a moan slips from your lips. ‘What about now?’ 

Biting your cheek, you attempt to still the rolling arousal in your stomach. The first pass of his tongue on your skin burns you alight; your knees weaken, forcing you to lower yourself entirely onto his cock. A moan bubbles in your chest, held back only by the annoyance itching at your fingers. Digging your nails into the vein throbbing at the turn of his jaw, you press until bright crescents appear on his skin. ‘I said…’ You growl. ‘Suck.’ 

Head clouded with lust, Gojo feels his reserve give in. In all honesty, he’s surprised he’s lasted this long - it’s been a while since he’s had someone to play with. This time, when he takes your nipple into his mouth he’s like a man starved. He sucks, tongue flicking and circling. Reaching up he takes you in hand and squeezes, moaning as he continues to make-out with the peak of your tit. 

‘Good boy…’ A gentle pet on his head solidifies your praise. Your fingers itch at his scalp, tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear and then drops. Slinking down your body, you tuck your hand under your cunt and tap a finger to your clit. The movement makes you jolt, jump starts the rocking of your hips as you begin to chase your high - using Gojo as your own personal sex toy. 

It pains him to say he likes it. Each grind of your hips sends a jolt of electricity up through his spine, his cock lost to the heaven that is your cunt. Drool leaks from the sides of his mouth, his tongue lapping at you, anxious to earn more of the panted moans you feed into his ears. 

 So used to taking, this moment of servitude suits him… 

Each inch of your body is tended to, singing in harmony as pleasure rises through your body and threatens to take over. You let it. Drawing quick circles on your clit, you release Gojo’s throat in favour of clinging to his shoulders. Thick lines mark out exactly when your orgasm hits. You dig into the muscle of his back, hips threatening to still as wave after wave rocks through you.It’s blinding, casting static on the inside of your eyelids as your eyes roll back and strain. 

A hand cups your ass and presses into you, forcing you to keep moving. He can feel the sponginess of your cunt, feel you milking him - demanding his seed. Clenching shut his eyes, he focuses on you. Your moans trickle into his ears, feeding him, urging him on as he takes control and prolongs your high. You look ethereal with your head bowed and your eyes clenched shut. The plush of your bottom lip hangs open allowing more of your noise to find him. Moans. Words.. They sink into his skin.

‘Satoru…’ 

It’s a whisper. A broken one, but his ears aren’t deceiving him. 

Your grip around him tightens. 

‘Satoru…’ 

The second he feels your cunt release him, he’s moving. Using all of his strength, he scrunches his knees and forces you forward, but there’s no chance of you finding your balance before you’re tossed again. He maneuvers you like you weigh nothing, broad hands taking your waist and flipping you once more before he’s on you again. 

Stable on your hands and knees, you arch your spine and push backwards. You can feel the stickiness of his cock pressing to you coated in your cum. It nestles between the cleft of your ass, pressing to all of the wrong places. 

Leaning over you, Gojo presses his chest to your back and whispers in your ear. ‘Now, it’s my turn. So be good and stay still, huh, Sweetheart.’ His palm wraps your shoulder, forces you to the ground as his heat leaves you, but before you can complain, or wriggle, the hot press of his cock is slipping back inside of you. 

Gojo is anything, but gentle. He’s relentless, fucking into you like a machine. Each thrust comes with a shock of pleasure that sparks at the base of your spine, one that explodes and seeps into the bones of your hips. He’s too deep, muddling somewhere in your stomach as he grips your hips and yanks you back forcing you to take him whole again and again. 

‘Cum…’ Gojo leans over you, his eyes wide as a hand dips around your waist and pats at your hip. He follows your curves and dips between your thighs, his fingers drawing out rough circles on your clit. There’s a desperation in his voice when he speaks again, his breath fanning your ear as his thrusts grow erratic. ‘Need you to cum, need - fuck. Need to feel it.’ 

Your body kicks, legs shaking as he begins to work you back up again. It’s as if your nerves are frayed, too raw even as your stomach begins to fill once more. 

‘C’mon… Wanna feel you.’ 

A droplet of sweat falls between your shoulder blades, dampening your shirt. Desperation radiates through him, burning your skin where he touches you. Your body obeys easily, even as his ministrations become halting and uneven, but it isn’t until one final word slips from Gojo’s lips that you find your second orgasm crashing into you. 

‘Please.’ It slips out without his say so and falls heavy in the room. 

You want to snark, want to turn and bite, but your knees are too weak. Instead, you press your head to the floor and wait for the air to return to your lungs. There’s a stuttering behind you, a momentary lapse of pace and then, the room is full of Gojo’s moans. 

He cums hard with his hands clamped back on your waist to steady him. The release is nothing like he’s ever felt, his whole body becoming a live wire that winks out, suspending him in his own pleasure until, at last, his limbs become numb. ‘Fuck…’ 

Bucking, you stop him from collapsing on your back and roll just in time for him to lay himself beside you. You lay like that for a while, side by side in puddles of your own spend and sweat until the floor grows cold. Then, he’s gone. 

The chill from the floorboards cools your skin and burrows into your bones. You flip, rolling over onto your back to stare at the ceiling. You’re still angry. Although, the feeling is distant now - lingering somewhere deep, settled and asleep. It’ll rear its head again, there’s no doubt about that, but for now it’s a welcomed reprieve. 

Footsteps warn you of Gojo’s reappearance. He’s almost naked, his jeans discarded while his boxers have been pulled up to their rightful place. There’s a necklace of red around his throat, the indentations of your fingertips obvious on the paleness of his neck as he crouches down beside you and produces a towel. 

‘Admiring your handy work?’ He chuckles, throat raw and begins to wipe you down. The towel is warm, but dry and makes quick work of the cum spilling out of you. 

You swat at him, but there’s no malice behind the movement. Instead, you groan and lift your hips. ‘Did you fucking cum in me?’ 

‘Give up a chance to cum in a cunt like that? Of course I fucking came in you.’ 

‘Bastard.’ 

‘Didn’t seem to mind it before.’ 

You swipe at him again, more determined this time, but he dodges it. Grabbing your wrist, he uses your movement as leverage and heaves you up and onto your feet. He lets you sway there for a moment, watching as the shake in your thighs threatens to give way and then hauls you up and over his shoulder. ‘Put me fucking down!’ Beating at his back, your threats die on your tongue as heaviness overtakes your body. You let him carry you, slipping through two sets of doors before you back meets the comfort of a fresh duvet. 

‘There,’ he chuffs. ‘Now quit screaming.’ Collapsing to the bed himself, he stretches, soothing tired muscles before setting about removing his blind fold. 

You roll, watching. ‘You sleep with it off now?’ 

‘Nah.’ He shakes his head when its done, letting his hair fall to frame his face. ‘Not since -.’ The muscle in his jaw clenches, relaxing only when he’s sure his name has settled itself back inside his heart. 

Walking your hand over the sheets, you wrap a palm around his bicep and urge him down to the bed. He goes willingly, letting you manipulate him until an arm is tucked under your head and a hand is pressed to his chest. ‘I’m not sorry.’ You speak to the air, but don’t mind when Gojo replies. 

‘Neither am I.’ 

Nudging at him, you force him to look down at you, to see the hurricane of emotions wrestling in your eyes. You think of Megumi laying in a hospital bed, his heart mending from an assault it should never have suffered. You think of Suguru, poor, tormented Suguru, and all of the times he could have been saved from himself. You think of them and offer yourself. ‘Next time you’re thinking of sending someone on a case that’ll get them killed,’ you hold his gaze, challenge him to disobey you. ‘Send me.’

[thevividai]

They can never make me hate you Tilikum 🫶🏻

For those who don’t know Tilikum was a 35 year old male orca who was kidnapped from his pod at two years old to be sold off to a park in canada called “Sea land” where he got abused by the other orcas because the trainer wouldn’t feed the other orcas if Tilly didn’t do the trick right (mind you he was a BABY.)

He killed a girl named Keltie Byrne while at Sealand. While his motives for that was unclear it was theorized to be because of his frustration since he was constantly raked and abused by the other orcas every night.

A while later Tilly was sold to SeaWorld where he was constantly used as a “breeder” because of his size and genetics despite his record of killing people. One day the morning shift found a dead naked man in Tilly’s tank later identified as David P Dukes who had broken into seaworld and had seemingly tried to swim with Tilly, He was found drowned with several injuries. Seaworld said Tilly hadn’t killed him and that he was just was trying to play with the corpse. Which i have a 50/50 opinion on, i could see Tilly trying to play with the body but also i could see Tilly being the cause of David’s death. Mainly because Tilly also got abused and outcasted by the orcas at SeaWorld, His only company was the humans who he was trained by, He was constantly stressed and starved and hurt due to both seaworld and the orcas. He had no output for his emotions. Just a empty concrete pool too small for him, So either way he had done something to David wether he be alive or dead, I just think Tilly was doing it out of frustration.

Despite this happening Tilly was still used in shows and in a breeding program, Trainers said that Tilly was eager to please and happy to be around them, He was also incredibly gentle with his very sick offspring even though the calf ended up dying (i can’t remember their gender and i can’t find it anywhere but they were possibly male, they didn’t even get named.)

Tilikum didn’t want to be a violent orca. He just wanted to be free. He spent his entire life in what was basically a bathtub with iirc 27 other orcas. Imagine being locked in a bathtub your entire life with people who hate you and want to hurt you. Only ever getting fed if you do tricks right.

That was Tilikum’s life.

In 2010 during a dine with shamu, Tilikum had went above and beyond on a trick, But he hadn’t heard the whistle to come back and get his reward, When he had come to get it his trainer, Dawn Brancheu had to tell him no since he hadn’t come at the recall, She was also running low on fish to which Tilikum could tell thanks to the ice rolling around in the bucket.

Tilikum should NOT have been in these shows in the first place. While i sympathize and love Tilikum it does NOT change the fact he was a liability to the trainers. Tilikum should’ve been released back into the wild after what happened with Keltie, If they had done that ALL of this could’ve been prevented. But because of Greed they kept him in captivity to be abused starved hurt and blamed.

He was frustrated and hungry, And Dawn had gotten on a laying platform WHICH SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ALLOWED. Tilikum was known to be possessive and potentially aggressive if met with the right situation. Tilikum had swam up to Dawn after a while, Tilikum had lashed out and grabbed Dawn and drowned her in front of a horrified crowd. After they retrieved Dawn’s body Tilikum was seen near her corpse looking at her and vocalizing.

And even after that, TILIKUM WAS STILL USED IN SHOWS.

That should have NEVER been allowed. While it had been forbidden after for trainers to be in the water it didn’t stop SeaWorld from abusing Tilikum. They left him in a too small pool ALONE for 80% of his life after Dawn’s tragic death. In 2013 a film called BlackFish (which is on Netflix) came out shedding some light on what had happened to Tilikum and other orcas.

In 2017 Tilikum died alone, hurt, starved, and suffering because of a respiratory infection.

They could never make me hate Tilly.

It wasn’t his fault.

It wasn’t Dawn’s fault.

It wasn’t David’s fault.

It wasn’t Keltie’s fault.

It was entirely SeaWorld/Land’s fault.

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Thinking about the "Do you Feel Safe Tape"

Honestly we should talk about the different reactions to 'who do you trust' a bit more.

Wooly - Wooly seems surprised that you trust him. I couldn't help but think it's partly because we like seem to like Amanda and Amanda hates him. Also considering Amanda doesn't trust him, he probably hasn't had anyone say they trusted him in a very long time and it was probably shocking. Then Amanda tells us she felt that way a long time ago and Wooly looks sad. I've noticed throughout the game that he seems to get sad whenever Amanda talks about not liking him anymore. He gets immediately sad when Amanda says that you have to think about who you can trust, before she even mentions. I think whatever he did to break her trust, he might actually feel really bad about it. (I can point out other moments he's done this too if you want). But what else is interesting is that Amanda trusted Wooly at some point. She didn't hate him from the start, something happened to change their relationship. I can't help but feel it was "recent" considering the events of the first game. Considering both Amanda and Wooly's reactions to Wooly coming back to life, I'd assume Amanda has never hated Wooly enough before to try killing him. When I say recent, I mean possibly during the years that Kate was watching the tapes and talking with Amanda.

Personally, I think both Amanda and Wooly unintentionally played a part in Kate's death and Hameln finding her. Considering Amanda's reactions to us saying "Hameln" I think they might still be monitoring Amanda and Wooly. I think that by interacting very directly with her (saying her name and stuff) could have helped them discover her identity and put her in danger. Which is not directly related to anything in this post (I mean it could be, but I'd need more evidence). That said, it's possible that him getting in the way of them remembering (once they started to gain back their memories) was exactly why she stopped trusting him. . But I think the important takeaway here is she did trust him at some point, and he feels bad that he broke that trust.

Kate: Amanda trusted Kate, and wishes she could still talk to her. Kate was one of the last people who knew Amanda when she was Rebecca. (well, positive relationships at least) Think about it. Sam is MIA. All the other librarians who knew her are DEAD. Any friends she had in school or whatever are definitely full grown adults if they didn't get trapped in the show (idk, like if they were watching it cuz it was their friends show or whatever). Every person we know who knew Amanda is probably dead now. Kate was the last one. Now that she remembers, she keeps saying she wishes she could still talk to Kate whenever we mention her, and Wooly looks like he feels bad. Now that she remembers who she was. Now that she remembers Rebecca, she wants to talk with Kate, maybe the way they used to. That could be why she's so angry with him. Why she tried to kill him AFTER they found Kate died (in the Wooly's birthday tape) but had only hurt him when they realized Riley was watching the tapes and not Kate (in the original in your neighborhood tape). Wooly might've caused her to miss her chance to talk to one of the few people who knew her as Rebecca. That was recent though, I think she lost trust in him over time as he kept blocking her attempts to reach out to Kate

Sam: She says Sam was trusting too, and that can be a mistake. She sounds so sad here, like she is going to cry. I think this confirms that Amanda doesn't hold any malice towards Sam about what happened. She understands that both of them were tricked. So idk, I guess any theories involving Amanda hating Sam for what happened are debunked now?

Hameln: Saying Hameln immediately makes Amanda stop trusting us. Wooly looks scared of Amanda yelling (as always) but I noticed he also looks kind of angry? Offended? Annoyed? I can't really tell cuz the tape gets really blurry. I've seen people say that Wooly doesn't react to the meatman or Hameln, but I think he does it's just more subtle. I don't know what else to say here, the clip goes by so fast.

Meatman: Again, both of them react to this. Amanda immediately gets pissed. And like, reasonably so. I've heard that the game won't let you progress past this point if you do this apparently, so like... the meatman is serious. Wooly looks shocked and then immediately motions at us not to say that. But like, it's a different surprise then when you answer "Wooly" he seems horrified. Like this is a pretty messed up thing to say. I'm not 100% sure what the meatman's deal is but like... both Amanda and Wooly seem to dislike him in the first and second game. Also is it just me or is it kind of odd that they only dislike the butcher? Like, there are variants of him in all the shops in the first game and Wooly and Amanda don't really seem to mind him, but they both don't like being in the butcher's. When only the meatman's buildings appear, Wooly looks pretty concerned, and then really scared when they enter, and asks her to take them someplace else. Amanda has a full-blown meltdown over not wanting to go in and when we enter she screams at us to let her out. I find this scene interesting because I don't think either of them are in control. Wooly is trying to distract her from Kate's death (or at least that's what I think the "something bad happened" means) by going a bit off-script and controlling the story a little. It doesn't seem like he was the one who messed with the stores. Amanda didn't either. What if this was the meatman? Like... punishing them for going off script by like reminding them of his looming presence or whatever? Idk. That whole scene was WEIRD in hindsight. Even though we never enter the butcher shop in the second game, his presence looms over us the entire time. Almost makes me think he's the real one put in their too keep the kids under control. They are both terrified of him after all and he seems to be connected with the surgeon who trapped them in there. Sorry this got a bit on topic but I think I might be getting somewhere.

But let's move on to the answers for the "what scares you" question.

"Amanda" or "you" - Question, has anyone tried Rebecca? I've only seen the answer compilations use "amanda" or "you". Amanda breaks our heart here by being hurt that after all this time we're still afraid of her. Ouch.

Hameln - Amanda gets terrified and says not to bring them up. I think Hameln is definitely watching these tapes.

Meatman - Wooly finally reacts to something, and bro is freaked out. Idk if it's by the mention of the meatman, Amanda's anger or both. Honestly, I have no idea why her anger spells still freak them out. I guess it is pretty scary, but I feel like he should be used to it at this point. Also she can't kill him, so what is he afraid of? He doesn't seem to be worried about being the one who makes her angry anymore, but he still gets freaked out when we do it? Weird. Anyway, I find it interesting that Amanda has spent the whole first game trying to tell us all about what happened, but she draws the line at the meatman and Hameln. Wooly wasn't there to stop her before, and she still didn't want to discuss it. Honestly, it doesn't feel like she's been as eager to tell us much in this game, despite trusting us. I mean she's told us plenty about Sam and Kate, so I don't think it's that she doesn't trust us. I think she doesn't want to remember things about Hameln or the meatman. She wanted to remember who she was, she wanted to remember Sam, she wanted to remember Kate and she wanted to know what happened to her... but somehow she draws the line here. Then we see the glitches of the surgery room and the mouth. I really do agree with the theories that the meatman is connected with the people who put her and Wooly into the show. That said... why is he there? That's what I don't get. I think I might be cooking with my earlier theory though no?

Wooly - Odd. He doesn't even look hurt, just confused. We can clearly see here that Amanda is not at all afraid of Wooly, so like I don't think he's like a Hameln worker. The meatman absolutely is though. We are not hating on the meatman enough guys. DOWN WITH THAT- Anyway.

Actually the whole point of this post was to talk about what Amanda says about how we were a stranger when we met her. I think this is really important to note. Because Amanda knew Kate long before she was Amanda. Possibly before "Amanda the Adventurer" even came to be. Of course Amanda trusted her. But she didn't know Riley. She tells us that she trusts us. This is HUGE. I mean, considering everything Amanda has been through. She barely knows us. She has EVERY DANG REASON not to trust us. Heck, I think that could be what Wooly means when he says she shouldn't talk to strangers. Because "not talking to strangers" doesn't make sense in this context. The viewer is a stranger, but if they didn't ever interact with the viewer they wouldn't have a show so Wooly's comment makes no sense. And yet, despite everything, she trusts us. Wooly looks kinda sad when she says she trusts us, probably because she trusted him once too, now she won't listen to a thing he says.

Then Joanne (I swear to god I got so mad at her in this scene) calls us and Amanda looks kind of sad when she hears that. Then looks really sad when Joanne says "that thing" I think Joanne was referring to the Wooly monster but Amanda doesn't know that. Then the possum appears and they both get really mad at it (and us for letting it mess with them). It's made very clear that both of them genuinely don't know who this guy is. It's funny because usually Amanda is the one asking us to get rid of him but this time it's Wooly.

And then let's talk about how COORDINATED THESE TWO WERE OMG. All it took was a look and a nod and they were already on the same page. If we don't help them, they manage to beat this guy up all on their own and mind you, not a single word is exchanged of a plan, they just work together. They just do it. And they do it so freaking well. Remember my Hameln theory? About how Hameln doesn't want these two on the same team because you know... two kids who can control demons who have every reason to hate Hameln and then there's THIS. When they get along they work so freaking well together. Could you imagine if they both decided to team up with their demons and beat the crap out of Hameln? Is there even a chance to be stood here? Honestly, I was also thinking, I think Hameln picked whoever Wooly is specifically for his avoidant personality, knowing that these two would clash. But clearly they don't have to.

Oh yeah, then they both get pissed AT US. I don't think we've actually seen Wooly get THIS mad at us. Like there was the time in the storybook tape but like he was not this mad. He's like... Amanda level mad here. Then they pick up the possum and throw him in the trash with still very minimal communication and ALL THE COORDINATION.

Then in the version where we do help, Amanda actually agrees with Wooly's sentiment that some strangers CAN be scary. Then without a word they both pick him up and throw him in the trash. BRO THE COORDINATION BETWEEN THESE TWO WHEN THEY WORK TOGETHER IS INSANE I NEED MORE OF IT ITS SO SMOOTH AND PLEASANT TO WATCH. Then Wooly asks if they can go home and Amanda playfully teases him "What are you scared?" Then he kinda makes this face like "yeah kinda" and she's like "c'mon let's go." she sounds a lot less annoyed with his presence then usual. Like still annoyed but also like she's kinda okay with it?

This deserves it's whole entire own post but like... I feel like gradually their relationship has improved over the course of this game. Like Amanda still doesn't trust him, there's still some rough stuff they need to work through, but she's starting to let him in again. Just a little. She's more okay with him being there. And I think people tend to overlook this when they say Wooly is evil. If Wooly was evil, why are they starting to get along again, (I mean they aren't besties again but like it's definitely a start and you can't ignore that.) Shouldn't Amanda continue to hate his guts? Instead she's actually agreed with him on some things, and they've helped each other out a bit. Like I said this is probably going to get it's own post at some point so I'll leave it here for now.

Holy crap did you actually read all this? OMG thanks. I did not realize I wrote so much WOW. BTW, I was watching those "all answers" videos along with a zero-commentary playthrough of the original so like, I'm not pulling this from memory at all.

[canirove]

The invinsible princess | Chapter 9

“Leo”

Author’s note: And we've made it to the end! Thank you very much to everyone who has read this story, supported it, for all your nice words and messages (they mean a lot) and of course, thank you to the anon who inspired it all! 💜 Hope you like this last chapter, and hopefully seen you soon with more Pedri 😊

Chapter 8

Masterlist

“Fuck the protocol”

“What did it do to you know?” I laugh.

“Making me wear this stupid suit and this stupid bow tie” Pedri says, struggling to tie it. “I hate it.”

“Then let me help… Shit.”

“Sofía, are you ok?” he says, quickly showing up at my side.

“I'm fine, don't worry. It's just that standing up at almost nine months pregnant isn't as easy as some people may think.”

“Ok, come here” he says, putting his arm around my waist and helping me get up from my chair.

“Thank you, Pedri.”

“Anything for you, my lady” he smiles.

“Now, let me see that bow tie.”

“It is a pain in the ass” he sighs. 

“A pain in the ass is having to wear high heels for hours. Or having to wear high heels while carrying a child inside you that is pushing against your bladder and making you want to pee every five minutes.”

“This is nothing compared to all that, true” he chuckles. “You women are amazing, you know? The world would go to hell without you.”

“Oh, we are very aware of that, trust me. Why are you smiling like that?” I say while struggling to make his bow tie look good.

“I was just thinking about something you said the day we met.”

“That I like men with interesting noses?”

“Nope, something else. It has to do with this thing in your head.”

“What?” 

“Your tiara. The day we met I asked you if didn't all princesses wear crowns, and you told me that if you were lucky maybe one day you would get to wear a tiara for a royal wedding or something like that, and here you are now. This is the first time I'm seeing you wearing one.”

“And probably the last since I only have one sister and this will hopefully be the only time she gets married.”

“What if I buy you one?”

“What?” I chuckle.

“I like the way it looks on you. It really suits you.”

“Because I am the queen of your heart?” I tease him.

“That too” he winks. “But I could get you a simple one that isn't one hundred years old and a family heirloom. Something you could wear if I organised you a fancy dinner at home or something like that.”

“Oh, it would look so nice with my pjs.”

“Of course it would. You can make anything look good, my lady” he smirks.

“You are such a flatterer, Pedri González” I laugh.

“And you love it.”

“A bit, yes. And this is done” I say when I finish with his bow tie. 

“How do I look?” he says, taking a step back and doing a twirl.

“Gorg… fuck!”

“Sofía! Sofía, are you ok? What is it? Is it the baby?” he says as he helps me sit down. 

“It was something like a cramp, but it has passed, I'm fine.”

“Sofia, you were in pain. What if something happened? What if…”

“What if what?”

“What if the baby is coming?” Pedri says.

“That's not possible. It is too soon and…”

“Let me go call Carlos.”

“No!” 

“Sofía, you are hurting. I can see it in your face and feel it on the way your nails are digging in my arm.”

“Sorry. I'm sorry” I say, letting go of him. “But I'm fine, don't call anyone.”

“Sofía, you may be in labour.”

“May be, exactly. We don't know for sure, and I'm actually starting to feel better.”

“Sofía…”

“It was a false alarm, Pedri. I'm feeling much better, I…”

“Sofía!” he says, catching me when I try to get up and suddenly start feeling dizzy. “That's it, I'm calling Carlos.”

“Pedri, I told you I'm fine.”

“You are not, Sofía. Stay there and don't move.”

“I can't! My sister is about to get married, I can't miss her wedding!” I say, trying to get up again.

“Sit down, Sofía” Pedri says, looking the most serious I've ever seen him.

“Urgh” I groan, doing as he asks. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“The doctor is here, ma'am” Carlos says.

“You've called him for nothing, Pedri. I'm fine.”

“Sofía, can you please stop being so stubborn?” he says, rolling his eyes.

“It's the truth! I'm… I'm fine.”

“Of course you are.”

“Your royal highness” the doctor says when he walks into the room. “What happened?”

“Sofía may be in labour.”

“I'm not, Pedri. I'm fine. We should be on our way to the cathedral to see my sister get married instead of being here wasting everyone's time” I say, struggling to get up from the bed where Pedri had forced me to move after I got another really bad cramp.

“Doctor, can you please help me here?” Pedri sighs.

“Ma’am, you are almost nine months pregnant, you could be in labour. And your husband only worries about you and the baby, he wants you both to be safe.”

“I know.”

“Then let the doctor check you, Sofía” Pedri says, sitting on the bed next to me. “Please.”

“I… fine” I say, finally giving up. “I can't never say no to you when you are looking at me with those big brown eyes of yours and then add a pout.”

“A pout with my lips made to kiss and be kissed?” he smirks.

“And now you add that smile! You are using all my weaknesses against me, Pedri. That's cheating!”

“Sorry” he shrugs. “I just worry about you, Sofía. About both of you” he says, caressing my bump. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you too.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Sofía!” my mum says, storming into the room. “Sofía, are you alright? And the baby?”

“We are fine, mum.”

“But they told me the doctor came to check on you!”

“He did.”

“And?”

“And looks like the little one didn't want to miss auntie Leonor's wedding” I chuckle.

“What?”

“I'm labour, mum.”

“Already? And what are you doing here? Why aren't you in the hospital?”

“Because it still is too soon.”

“Is it?” she asks, looking at Pedri.

“It…”

“Sofía!” Leonor says, coming into the room just as my mum just did. “Oh my God, Sofía. Are you ok? And the baby?”

“We both are fine. But wow, Leonor. You look…. Wow” I say. Because she's showed up wearing her wedding dress, her tiara and everything else. “Max’s jaw is gonna be on the floor the moment he sees you” I smile, remembering what she and Irene had said about Pedri before our wedding.

“I hope so” she replies, also smiling. “But are you sure you are ok?”

“I'm fine. For now.”

“What?”

“She's in labour” my mum says.

“Already? Isn't it too early?”

“My due date is in a couple of weeks, but the doctor said that there is no need to worry and that it can happen. I'm just so sad I'm gonna miss your wedding… I wanted to be there with you.”

“Don't worry about that now, you can always watch it on tv. What matters is that you both are ok.”

“We are. We will be.”

“I'll make sure of it” Pedri says.

“You both look so calm” Leonor laughs.

“We look calm now. Twenty minutes ago we were yelling at each other because your sister here is the most stubborn person I've ever met.”

“Yet you love me” I smile.

“With all my heart” he smiles back.

“Aww… cute” Leonor says. 

“Very cute, but you and mum should get going. I know it is usual for the bride to be late, but not this late, and I don't want poor Max thinking that you are leaving him standing in the altar.”

“She's right” our mum says. “I left your dad alone with your grandmother and he must be driving her crazy. Or vice versa. But Sofía, I can stay with you if you want.”

“Pedri's mum already is on her way, don't worry. I'll be in good hands until you can free yourself from your queen and mother of the bride duties.”

“I know you will, but... Are you sure?”

“I am. Now go, c'mon.”

“Ok, ok. No need to kick us like that” Leonor chuckles. “I love you, little sis” she says while hugging me. “You can do this.”

“Love you too, big sis. And you can also do this. Getting married in front of the whole world, I mean.”

“No pressure there, uh?” she sighs. “But thank you.”

“Keep us updated on everything, ok?” my mum says when it is her turn to hug me. “I'll leave as soon as I'm allowed to, and if the baby can't wait, I'll run away, I don't care.”

“Fuck the protocol?” I laugh.

“That wording is a bit offensive, but yes, that's basically it” she smiles. “I love you, Sofía.”

“Love you too, mum.”

“Well…” Pedri says, sitting down on the bed next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders while I rest my head on his. “It is happening.”

“It is, yes.”

“Are you scared?” he asks, kissing my head.

“A bit, yes. You?”

“I'm shitting myself.”

“Please tell me this time you aren't being literal like at our wedding” I laugh.

“Not yet.”

“Eww, Pedri!” I laugh again. 

“Sorry, I'm sorry. But even if I'm scared, I know you can do this, Sofía. I believe in you.”

“Thank… you.”

“Another contraction?”

“Yes” I nod. “And this one hurt a lot more than the last one.”

“Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe one of those massages they taught us?”

“That may be useful later. For now being like this is just enough” I say, curling up against him. 

“I can't believe we will be becoming parents in hopefully just a few hours” he says, his fingers caressing my arm, making me relax. “It feels like yesterday when we were talking in that corridor in Germany, shamelessly flirting with each other.”

“It does feel like it, doesn't it? But you know, if I got to relieve that moment, I would always choose to follow you outside the party.” 

“Because you couldn't wait to get rid of your dad and his friends telling the same anecdotes all over again?”

“That too” I chuckle. “But also because maybe, just maybe…” I say, lifting my head from his shoulder and looking at him. “I also had a little crush on you.”

“Wait, really? It wasn't just me?”

“I mean, you had a proper crush on me, Pedri. Mine was starting after watching you at the Euros, and it didn't stop until I fell head over heels in love with you. It hasn't stopped, to be honest.”

“Do I still make you feel butterflies in your stomach?” he smiles.

“Every single day. And I hope it never stops. I love you, Pedri.”

“I love you too… my lady” he says before kissing me. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Knock, knock. Can we come in?”

“Leonor?” I say when I see her at the door of my hospital room, Max standing behind her. “What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be resting after yesterday?”

“I should, yes. But turns out that my little sister also gave birth, and I couldn't wait to see her and meet my nephew” she says, coming to my bed and hugging me. “How are you, Sofía?”

“Good. Sore and tired, but good. And really happy. You?”

“Extremely hungover” she chuckles. “But tell me, how did it go? Is what mum told me true and he let you watch the wedding?”

“Yep” I nod. “During the ceremony everything was pretty smooth, but once it ended, he said: auntie Leonor already had her moment, now is my turn.”

After she and my mum left, things had been quite calm. Both Pedri and I had had time to get changed, eat something, chat, and in my case, bawl my eyes out while watching the wedding on tv. But the moment Max and Leonor got into the car and started saying hello to all the people gathered on the streets, everything changed. My contractions started to become more painful and frequent, and when the doctor came to check me again, he said it was time to go to the hospital, the little one joining us just a couple of hours later.

“How did he do?” Leonor asks me, nodding towards Pedri. He is standing next to the window, the baby in his arms. 

“He started crying the moment the doctor said the head was out, and then didn't stop. At one point his mum even worried he was going to end up dehydrated” I chuckle.

“I didn't cry that much, don't listen to her” he says.

“He did” I whisper. “But other than that, he's been amazing” I smile while looking at him caressing the baby's cheek and whispering something to him. 

I thought I couldn't love Pedri more than I already did, that it was impossible to fall in love with him more than I already was. But every time I see him with the baby, with our son, I actually do it. I fall even more in love with him, my heart feeling like it is about to burst out of happiness and love.

“You are the one who is amazing, Sofía. Look at him” he says, kissing the baby's head. “I can't believe he is real. That he is my son.”

“Can't you? Haven't you seen all that hair?” Max chuckles. 

“I haven't” Leonor says, getting up from my bed and moving to where they are standing. “Oh my God, Sofía. He is perfect! And definitely Pedri's son, yes” she smiles, caressing his head. 

“Do you want to hold him?” Pedri tells her. 

“I… I don't know. Babies aren't my thing.”

“C'mon, Leonor. You are his auntie and godmother, you have to get used to it” I say.

“Wait, his godmother? Me?”

“Yeah. Who else?” 

“I don't know… Irene, perhaps? You've always been super close.”

“We have. But she isn't my sister, you are. And since Fer is going to be his godfather…” I shrug.

“I… I don't know what to say, guys. Thank you.”

“You're welcome. Now put your hand here” Pedri says, helping her hold the baby. “There, perfect. Little one, meet your auntie Leonor. Leonor, meet your nephew Leo.”

“Wait, Leo? Aren't you naming him Carlos?” she says.

“That was a little white lie” I smile. “We wanted to surprise you.”

“Me? Why?”

“Because we've named him after you.”

“What?” she says, looking from me to Pedri, then at the baby in her arms, and then back at me.

“I mean, if you don't like it, we can always say we named him after Messi since he is my idol” Pedri shrugs.

“No, we won't!” I say.

“I was just teasing you, my lady” he winks. “That story we told everyone about naming the baby Carlos as some kind of homage to him because he had been key in our love story and we wouldn't be here without him, was just a lie because we wanted to surprise you and we didn't want anyone ruining it” Pedro smiles.

“But… but…” Leonor mumbles. “What about Fer? You could have named him after him too.”

“We already have two in the family, we don't need another one. Besides, how would we call him? F?” he chuckles. “Leo is perfect. And not because that's Messi’s name” he says, looking at me.

“I… I don't know what to say, I… Thank you, guys.”

“Aww, Leonor” Max says, wiping away her tears since her hands are busy holding Leo.

“This is the best wedding gift ever, guys. Thank you” she says, managing to free one arm to hug Pedri. “Thank you, Sofía” she says, coming to the bed to also hug me. “I love you.”

“I love you too” I reply, hugging her back.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Ready, my lady?” Pedri says, giving my hand an encouraging squeeze. 

“Ready” I say, taking a deep breath before the hospital doors open and we walk outside, the reporters and photographers waiting for us already shouting.

“Your royal highness, how are you?” one of them asks me when we stop in front of them.

“I'm well, very happy. Thank you for asking” I smile.

“And the father? How is he feeling?”

“Also very happy” Pedri says.

“Why Leo?” another reporter asks.”It isn't a very royal name.”

“He is named after my sister Leonor” I explain. “So it is a royal name.”

“Awww…” a bunch of them say. 

“Who does he look like?”

“Everyone says he is a mini me” Pedri chuckles, moving the blanket I have wrapped around Leo so they can see him better.

“Oh, he definitely has your hair” the reporter says.

“He does, yes” he says, caressing Leo's head. “Though I think he's gotten his mother's character.”

“How so?”

“Well, he is just a couple of days old, and he is quite stubborn already. Like his mum.”

“Pedri!” I say, elbowing in the ribs while the reporters just laugh. 

“Do you think he may have gotten your talent? That we may have the first royal football player in history?”

“We actually do. You should have seen the way he kicked me before he was born” I laugh. 

“We should start getting his room ready at La Masía, then” one of the reporters says.

“He may already have it” Pedri smirks, making them all laugh again.

“Ma'am, we should get going” Carlos says behind me.

“Oh, yes. Thank you very much for coming, guys. And for all your good wishes too, it means a lot.”

“One last photo, ma'am. Ma'am!” the photographers say as we move towards our car, both Pedri and Carlos escorting me.

“We did it” Pedri says once we are inside the car.

“We did it, yes.”

“Ready for what is ahead, my lady?” he says, taking my hand on his and kissing it. “Now the hard work begins.”

“I know. But I also know I can do it. That we can do it. As long as we are together, we can do anything.”

“I mean, I managed to teach you how to dance without injuring me, didn't I? After that, everything is possible” he smirks.

“You are such an idiot, Pedri González” I say, hitting his arm.

“Yet you love me, my lady” he replies.

“More and more every day” I smile before resting my head on his shoulder as the car starts moving, the new chapter of our lives ahead of us. 

━━━━❃━━━━ FIN ━━━━❃━━━━

[rispwr]

Hate you - chapter 3 - J.JK

Pairings : ex! Jungkook x ex! Reader

Notes : didn't get to do my word goal again:(( will definitely do it again next chapter. we don't talk anymore by charli puthh "what kind of dress you're wearing tonight, if it's holding onto you so tight, the way i did before"

Genre : Ex2L, angst, slow burn, fake dating, slice of life, fluff, e2l, corporate rivals, smau, smut

Sypnosis : ‘You were always told that hating someone is the only way it doesn’t hurt but what if you can’t hate him? No matter how hard you try your heart will always find it’s way to his’

2 years after breaking up with your boyfriend of 2 years you were finally on your way to become the ceo of your family’s company your rival turns out to be your ex.

Contents/warnings :

Misunderstood break up, insecurities, mentions of self harms or mental health issues, jk is mean at the start, yelling, sensitive language or words, mentions of family trauma, corporate au, smart (both), mentions of yoongi x oc, mentions of cheating, soon to be ceo! Jk, soon to be ceo! Oc, oc is still named Y/n or {__}, corporate rivals?, fake dating, lack of communication, death of a character, mentions of suicide attempt. not proofread

series masterlist

Can't believe this

February 10, 2027 — Present Time

You’d decided it was finally time for Yoongi to meet your mother. His calm demeanor and unwavering support had been your anchor during some of the toughest times.

Your fingers were laced with his, the warmth of his hand grounding you. The two of you looked effortlessly coordinated in matching blazers—his in classic black, yours in a crisp white.

As you reached the door, you took a deep breath and pushed it open.

And then you saw him.

Jungkook.

He was seated next to your mother, deep in conversation, his voice low and composed. His hair, once a warm chestnut brown, was now jet black, styled into a sleek, elegant mullet. It framed his face perfectly, the strands slicked back with precision. His right arm rested casually on the table, the sleeve of his shirt rolled up just enough to reveal the intricate tattoos that snaked up his skin.

This wasn’t the Jungkook you once knew. He carried himself differently now—poised, polished, and every bit the powerful CEO.

Your heart clenched, a mixture of shock and betrayal surging through you.

“Mom?” you said, your voice cutting through the quiet hum of the room.

Both your mother and Jungkook turned to face you, but it was your mom who spoke first. “Oh, Y/N, dear. I was just about to tell you about our new brand deal—”

“No,” you cut her off sharply, your tone icy. “I don’t want to, Mom.”

Your mother frowned, a flicker of disappointment crossing her face. “Y/N—”

Before she could continue, Jungkook stood, his dark eyes locking onto yours. “Y/N, listen—”

“It’s Ms. Kim Y/N to you, Mr. Jeon,” you snapped, your voice sharp and unyielding.

Yoongi shifted beside you, clearly sensing the tension. “Uh, maybe I should step out—”

“No, no, Yoongi,” you said quickly, your tone softening as you glanced at him. “It’s fine. We’ll be out of here soon.”

Jungkook’s jaw tightened, but he said nothing. His gaze flickered briefly to Yoongi, his expression unreadable.

Your mom sighed, attempting to mediate. “Y/N, this partnership could be beneficial for both companies. Jungkook’s team—”

“I don’t care,” you interrupted, your voice firm. “We don’t need this deal, not if it involves him.”

The weight of your words hung heavy in the air.

Jungkook’s face remained stoic, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—regret, perhaps, or frustration. “Understood,” he said finally, his tone even.

Without another word, you turned and walked out of the room, Yoongi following close behind.

Once you were out in the hallway, Yoongi gently squeezed your hand. “You okay?” he asked, his voice low and soothing.

You nodded, though your heart still raced. “Yeah,” you said quietly, looking up at him. “I am now.”

I gathered my bag and slid out of the car with his help, the cool morning air brushing against my face. Adjusting my blazer, I turned to him and said, “I’ll be out late, so don’t wait for me or pick me up. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with a respectful nod. His stoic expression didn’t waver, but I knew he’d make sure everything was handled as usual.

Just as I was about to step inside the building, my phone buzzed in my hand. It was Yoongi. I couldn’t help but smile as I answered. 

“Heyyy, wanna go out tonight?” he asked, his tone playful.

I hesitated for a moment, remembering the plans I’d already made. “Well... I kinda have plans with Namjoon and Sana tonight at the club,” I admitted. “But you can come. Can you?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said without missing a beat. “Pick you up or just stay at your place?”

“My place,” I replied, knowing it would be easier that way.

“Alrighty. See you, pretty,” he said smoothly, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

“See you,” I said, hanging up.

I slipped my phone back into my bag and walked into the towering office building. The lobby was sleek and modern, filled with employees and visitors. I walked confidently across the polished floors, my heels clicking rhythmically as I made my way to the private elevator reserved for executives.

Once I reached my floor, the familiar scent of fresh coffee and crisp paper greeted me. My assistant, Sejun, was already waiting by my office door, his usual clipboard in hand. He was a sharp dresser, his navy suit perfectly tailored, and his hair neatly combed back.

“Good morning, Ms. Kim,” he greeted me with a polite bow. “Someone sent you a letter. It’s on your desk.”

I raised an eyebrow. “A letter?” It wasn’t often that I received personal mail at the office, especially in this day and age.

“Yes, it was hand-delivered this morning,” Sejun explained as he opened the door for me. “It seemed urgent.”

I hummed in acknowledgment, stepping inside my spacious office.

I sank back into my chair. After all the training, coaching, and pressure to step up as CEO, I’d finally started to find a rhythm that felt… right. There was satisfaction in this work, a sense of control I hadn't experienced before. For months, I'd felt buried under the weight of everyone’s expectations. But now, as I glanced around my office, I felt the slightest glimmer of pride.

With a small smile, I gave in to a rare moment of relaxation, spinning slowly in my chair. Just as I was beginning to feel settled, something caught my eye. A sleek,brown, small envelope lay on my desk, standing out starkly against the polished white surface. I frowned. The name on it was written in bold, elegant script:

To: Kim Y/N, CEO of RNT Inc. From: Jeon Jungkook, CEO of GCF Productions.

My heart dropped as I read his name. Jungkook. After everything, after years of hurting me, he was reaching out now? My fingers hovered over the envelope, hesitant, but curiosity won. I picked it up, feeling the weight of the paper in my hand, the texture rich and smooth under my fingertips. Slowly, I slid my nail under the seal and pulled out a letter, already bracing myself for the frustration I knew would come.

The very first line felt like a slap to the face.

Dear Y/N, the love of my life.

A harsh, bitter laugh escaped me, almost involuntary. "Is he kidding?" I muttered to myself, rolling my eyes. He had to be joking. This was the same man who’d walked away without a single explanation, leaving me to piece together the wreckage of my heart on my own. Yet here he was, casually calling me "the love of his life," as if that title could erase everything that had happened between us.

Taking a breath, I continued reading, my fingers gripping the edges of the paper.

I wrote this letter back in December 2025, almost a year after we broke up. Well, after I broke up with you. I know what I did could never be justified, nor will it ever be okay, and I’m writing this to tell you I’m truly sorry.

I’ve spent every day since hating myself for how I hurt you. I couldn’t even bring myself to face you and say it out loud. I was selfish, Y/N. I was only thinking about myself, my fears, my insecurities. But the truth is, losing you was the biggest mistake of my life. I know I didn’t deserve you then, and I probably never will. You deserve someone better, someone who can love you fully and without hesitation. I was never that person, and for that, I’m sorry.

A slight tremor ran through my hand as I lowered the letter, blinking back the prickle of tears that threatened to gather. So that was it? That was all he had to offer? An apology scratched out on a piece of paper, years after he'd torn me apart? I felt a strange mix of rage, sadness, and exhaustion welling up in me as I reread his words.

I’d spent countless nights trying to understand why he’d left. I’d gone through every possible reason in my mind, analyzing each argument, every little moment that might have led him to walk away. And here he was, admitting to being "selfish," "insecure," and telling me he’d "made a mistake." But it wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed an answer that made sense, something to validate the pain I’d gone through.

I let out a shaky breath, the frustration building inside me. His "explanation" was just a reminder of how deeply he’d scarred me. All those moments I’d doubted myself, the insecurities that had crept in because I thought I wasn’t enough for him. And now, he was telling me that none of it had been my fault? That he’d just been... scared?

I felt a surge of anger rise, mingling with the hurt I’d buried over the years. “So that's it, huh?” I muttered to myself, voice edged with bitterness. “You just get to come back and apologize? You get to ‘hate yourself’ for what you did, and that’s supposed to be enough?”

Another part of the letter caught my eye:

You deserve someone better, someone who can love you fully and without hesitation. I was never that person.

My eyes narrowed as I read those words. I didn’t need someone to tell me what I deserved—I’d worked hard to find peace, to rebuild myself without his validation. I’d made it to where I was now because I had pushed through the heartache, and I refused to let him swoop back in and disrupt the life I’d built for myself.

My gaze drifted to the windows, the city skyline gleaming in the afternoon light. This was my world now—a world I’d crafted from the pieces he left behind. And the more I thought about it, the angrier I felt. He had no right to just appear out of nowhere and stir up these emotions, no right to force me to relive the pain I’d worked so hard to bury.

I glanced down at the letter one last time, reading the final lines, feeling the bile rise in my throat.

If I could go back, I’d have done things differently. But I can’t change the past, Y/N. I know you might never forgive me, and I understand. I just needed you to know how sorry I am. You deserved better, and I’m sorry I couldn’t be that for you.

With a bitter laugh, I folded the letter neatly, my fingers pressing down on the creases with a sharp finality. “You’re sorry?” I whispered to the empty room. “No. It’s too late for that.” My voice trembled with the weight of years of bottled-up resentment.

For a brief second, I considered crumpling the letter, letting it join the discarded pieces of him I’d long since cast away. But instead, I placed it back on the desk, staring at it with a cold, unfeeling gaze. Jungkook could write all the letters he wanted. He could regret everything he’d done, but he’d never be able to undo the damage he’d caused.

“You miss your mommy, huh? How about me? Don’t you miss me?” he said in a playful, high-pitched voice, scratching behind Cosmo’s ears. My dog wagged his tail enthusiastically, clearly enjoying the attention.

Smiling to myself, I crept quietly toward the couch, leaning down to wrap my arms around Yoongi’s shoulders from behind.

“Y/nnn!” he whined in surprise, tilting his head back to look at me.

I laughed, planting a quick kiss on his cheek. “Surprised you, didn’t I?”

He huffed, a small pout forming on his lips, before breaking into a grin. “Cosmo misses you,” he said, pointing dramatically to the dog. “And this person too.” He jabbed his thumb toward his chest.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh, you’re funny,” I said, shaking my head. “Let me get ready, and we can head out to the club?”

“Sure,” he replied, leaning back into the couch. “Which club is it, anyway?”

“Oh, Namjoon just opened a new one nearby,” I said, making my way toward the bedroom. “It’s called Serendipity.”

“Cool,” Yoongi said, his tone casual. “Leave it to Joon to pick a name like that.”

--

After finishing the final touches on my outfit, I stepped out of the bedroom, feeling confident. My eyes immediately met Yoongi’s, who was leaning casually against the armrest of the couch. His gaze softened as he took me in, a small, appreciative smile curving his lips.

“You’re always beautiful, babe,” he said, his voice low and warm. He pushed off the couch, closing the distance between us. “You know, I was thinking…” His hand reached up to gently brush a strand of hair from my face. “Maybe we could just stay home tonight? Just you, me, and Cosmo.”

I crossed my arms, giving him my best pout. “Yoongi,” I whined. “This is the opening night. Namjoon will kill me if I don’t show up.”

He chuckled softly, leaning down to press a quick kiss to my pouty lips. “I’m just kidding,” he said, his laughter rumbling against my cheek. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Besides,” he added with a wink, “I can't wait to see the new club anyway.”

at the club 

“Babeee! You made it!” Namjoon grinned, pulling me into a quick hug. Sana followed, giving me a playful nudge before turning her attention to Yoongi. She stepped back, arms crossed, and eyed him from head to toe, a teasing glint in her eyes.

“Ohhh, so you two are together now, huh?” she said, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Well, not exactly yet,” I admitted with a small smile, glancing at Yoongi, who simply shrugged with his usual calm demeanor.

Sana leaned in closer to him, lowering her voice. “Listen, Yoongi,” she said, her tone light but with an edge of protectiveness. “You know what her ex did. He broke her, left her shattered. If you even think about pulling something like that…” She smirked, “Let’s just say you’ll be picking up your pieces from the floor.”

Yoongi didn’t miss a beat. With a playful grin, he gave a mock salute. “Understood, ma’am. Won’t let you down.”

Sana laughed, giving him a soft punch on the shoulder. “Good. I like this one,” she said, turning back to me. “Don’t mess it up.”

Namjoon chuckled, shaking his head. “Alright, Sana, let the man breathe. Y/N’s got good taste.”

We made our way deeper into the club, finding a table near the center. The place was packed, people swaying to the beat under the shimmering lights. Namjoon leaned in, his voice barely audible over the music. “You might want a heads-up,” he said. “A lot of important people showed up tonight.”

“Oh? Like who?” I asked, taking a sip of the cocktail Sana had handed me.

Namjoon hesitated for a moment, then said, “I’ve got a new partnership lined up. They’re interested in using the club as a film set.”

“Really? That’s amazing!” I said, genuinely impressed.

“Yeah,” he nodded, his expression slightly cautious. “It’s with GCF—Golden Closet Film Productions.”

The name hit me like a freight train. My smile faltered as my grip tightened around the glass. GCF. Of all the production companies, it had to be his.

“That’s…interesting,” I said, keeping my tone neutral, though my heart raced.

Namjoon noticed the shift in my demeanor. “Are you okay?” he asked, concern evident in his eyes.

Before I could respond, a familiar figure stepped into view. The air seemed to thicken around us as Jungkook made his entrance, his confident stride drawing attention. His sharp suit and slicked-back hair.

He didn’t notice me right away, but when his eyes finally landed on our table, they locked onto mine.

The moment Jungkook’s face came into view, panic surged through my fading consciousness. He couldn’t get my company, and now he had to come after Namjoon’s? My mind spiraled, and the pounding music faded into the background. My vision blurred, and before I could process what was happening, my legs buckled beneath me.

The world tilted, and everything went dark.

When I came to, faint voices surrounded me. My head pounded, and the bright lights overhead stung my eyes. Slowly, I began to piece together what had happened. I was lying on the floor, my body weak and heavy. As my vision cleared, I saw three men hovering over me.

Yoongi was the first to catch my attention, his face etched with worry. His hand rested gently on my shoulder, his voice calm but firm as he whispered, “Y/N, stay with us. It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Namjoon was on my other side, his brow furrowed in concern. “Breathe, Y/N,” he said, his voice steady but tinged with panic. “You’re going to be fine. We’ve got you.”

And then there was him. 

Jungkook.

 The one person I never expected—or wanted—to see like this again. His face was pale, his hands trembling slightly as he checked my pulse. His eyes, usually so confident and cold, were filled with something I hadn’t seen in years—genuine fear.

“Someone call an ambulance!” Jungkook’s voice cut through the noise, sharp and commanding. “Now!”

I blinked slowly, my vision flickering in and out. I could feel Yoongi’s grip tighten protectively, as if shielding me from the man who now knelt beside me.

“Y/N, wake up,” Jungkook pleaded, his voice softer now, almost desperate. “Please.”

Why was he here? Why was he acting like he cared? The questions swirled in my mind, but my body betrayed me. I was too weak to push him away, too drained to tell him to leave.

The last thing I saw before the darkness swallowed me again was Yoongi glaring at Jungkook, his jaw clenched, as if silently telling him to back off.

But Jungkook didn’t move. He stayed right there, holding my hand, as if he had any right to.

The ambulance raced through the city, its sirens blaring as it made its way to the hospital. Inside, tension was thick in the air as Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jungkook all hovered around me, waiting for any sign of movement. The nurses worked swiftly, checking my vitals and preparing me for transport.

One of the nurses, a woman with a no-nonsense attitude, looked over her shoulder at the three men. "So," she began, glancing between them, "what are your relations to the patient?"

Namjoon spoke up first, his voice steady but tinged with concern. "Uh, I’m her best friend. Kind of like a brother, but we’re not family... just very close."

Before the nurse could respond, Yoongi interrupted, speaking with an air of calmness that didn’t match his inner turmoil. "I’m her... partner. We’re not exclusive," he said, his eyes still on me.

The nurse raised an eyebrow, but she nodded, jotting something down on her clipboard. Then her gaze shifted to Jungkook, who had been unusually quiet until now. "And you?" she asked, her voice neutral but probing.

Jungkook hesitated, his eyes flicking to me before he finally answered. "I’m... her ex." His voice faltered just a little, but he didn’t look away, clearly uncertain of how to explain himself.

The nurse gave a quick nod, her expression unreadable as she continued her work. "Alright, noted," she muttered

Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jungkook all nodded in unison, their faces still drawn with worry.

As the nurse made her way to the front of the ambulance, muttering something under her breath, it was clear she wasn’t too keen on this complex situation. "Tough," she mumbled, not entirely directed at them but loud enough for all of them to hear.

The other nurse cleared his throat, breaking the awkward tension. “We’re almost at the hospital. Just hang in there, alright?” He gave a reassuring smile before turning his attention back to the equipment.

at the hospital

"Okay, it seems like her vitals are stable," the doctor began, "but it appears there may be an underlying issue—more psychological than physical. I suggest she undergoes a check-up with her psychiatrist."

He paused, looking from Yoongi to Namjoon, then to Jungkook. "Does she have any psychiatrist or—?"

Before he could finish the sentence, Yoongi spoke up, his tone calm but firm. "Yes, she has a psychiatrist, and a therapist as well," Yoongi added, as if it was no big deal, but the words seemed to hang in the air, carrying an unexpected weight.

The doctor nodded in acknowledgment. "Good to know. I'll make a note of that," he said, before turning back to the charts.

Meanwhile, Jungkook's eyes narrowed, shooting Yoongi a quick glare.

Is he trying to rub it in on me that he has her or what? 

Jungkook thought, feeling the subtle sting of jealousy. But he kept his thoughts to himself, watching as the others focused on the doctor.

The doctor continued, "I'll send the nurse in with the medication and a prescription."

Namjoon, who had been mostly silent up until now, spoke up, his voice tinged with concern. "Is there anything she should avoid or...?"

The doctor looked up, his expression softening slightly. "Avoid stress, skipping meals, too much screen time, excessive caffeine, and salty foods. That should help, at least for now," he advised. "She will be discharged tomorrow once she wakes up. We’ll keep monitoring her overnight."

Yoongi and Jungkook, both clearly anxious and equally invested in my well-being, bombarded the doctor with questions at the same time.

"When should she take the medication?" Yoongi asked, his voice urgent but trying to remain composed.

Jungkook jumped in right after, his tone sharp with impatience. "And how much should she take? Should we be worried about any side effects?"

The doctor looked between the two, raising an eyebrow at the sudden competition for answers. It wasn’t lost on him how the situation was unfolding. "It’s really up to her, but I recommend following the instructions on the prescription. If you’re both helping her, make sure she stays hydrated and follows a good routine," he said, handing over a piece of paper with the details. "Just keep an eye on her mental health. That’s the priority right now."

Namjoon, who had been standing back a little, exchanged a quick glance with Yoongi. He couldn’t help but chuckle lightly under his breath. "I think the doc's right, you guys. She needs care, not a competition," he joked, trying to break the tension.

"Where am I?" I mumble, still feeling dizzy.

And then it hits me, my confusion turning into full-blown panic. I sit up quickly, my head spinning, my eyebrows furrowing in frustration. "what the fuck is happening?" I yell, completely freaking out. My heart is racing as I try to slap myself, muttering under my breath, "This is a dream. This is a dream." I say it enough for them to hear me, hoping I’m just imagining this whole nightmare.

Before anyone can respond, I hear the doctor’s voice, soft and nonchalant. "Alright, I think it’s time for me to go out," he mumbles, and the door clicks shut behind him.

I stare at the empty doorway for a moment before scoffing bitterly. My emotions are spiraling out of control. I turn my attention to Jungkook, the rage bubbling up inside me. "Wow. Just—just wow," I say, pointing a shaky finger in his direction. "You! You took two, three and a half years to finally show up in my life again?? Are you trying to ruin my life or something?" My voice is shaking with anger, every word feeling like it’s tearing me apart.

"Y/N," Yoongi tries to calm me down, but I don’t want to hear it.

"No! This is all stupid!!" I yell, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on me. My hands cover my face as I try to stop myself from breaking down. I can’t hold it in anymore, and I let out a frustrated yell. "Fuck! You guys should’ve let me die there!" The words slip out before I can stop them, too raw, too real, but they’re there, and I hate myself for saying them.

"I’m sorry, Y/N..." I hear Jungkook’s voice, but it only makes things worse.

"No. Save your fucking sorrys," I snap, cutting him off, my heart pounding in my chest. "When you can finally man up and tell me why the fuck you left me, and what was your reason for it, then maybe I’ll listen to your sorry. Until then? You won’t be hearing a fucking word from me."

"fine!" I watched as Jungkook stormed out of the room, his blazer in hand, his anger vibrating through every movement.

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[streamafterlaughter]

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter IV: Break Your Pretty Face

masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev.

song(s) for this chapter: no remorse by metallica, hate you by boston manor, choke by idkhow, let’s talk about your hair by have mercy

chapter tags: swearing, drinking, meanish!eddie, angst | fic tags: Angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | This fic is rated 18+ MDNI

summary: everyone seems to be lobbying against you, in favor of the kid that put your brother in jail.

a/n: inspo returning rapidly, don’t let me burn out now.

taglist @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj comment/message to be added!

DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Reblog to support the author!

—

“Chris.” You give him your best death glare, arms crossed tightly against your chest. “Talk.”

“In my defense,” he stands from his spot on the floor. “I thought he’d told you years ago. I didn’t think to follow up, I thought it was just, y’know, common sense.”

You scoff. “And you think Eddie has that?”

“Y’know what, kid? Yeah, I do. Eddie’s a good fuckin’ dude. Granted, I guess I can see why you wouldn’t think so under these circumstances, but I have to let him explain that to you. I couldn’t begin to understand that choice.”

It’s like he’s speaking in riddles. What could there possibly be to explain? Eddie testified against Chris to save himself. Case closed, he’s a selfish bastard. “You gotta go see him, Bee.”

“Why do I care?”

“Come on, you care a little. You two used to-“

“Shut up.” You grit your teeth. “You haven’t been here. You have no fucking clue what happened to us.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, whatever. You’re dropping me off though, I’m not wasting gas on this bullshit.”

He nods, unhooking his keys from his belt loop. “Well,” he gestures to the door, “After you.”

-

You get to Eddie’s trailer in what feels like record time, causing you to frantically rehearse what you want to say to him. You have no idea what Chris has said, why he’s so adamant that the two of you speak.

“Call me if you need a ride home, ‘kay?” Chris unlocks the passenger door. “And please, don’t kill him. I know he looks tough, but that kid’s the biggest softy I know.”

You groan, rolling your eyes so hard you’re sure they’ll get stuck. “I can’t guarantee I won’t at least try to kill him.” You mock his tone from earlier. He shoves you playfully, and you swing the car door open.

Eddie’s underneath his van, an old piece of scrap metal on wheels at this point, and you can hear him grunting as you approach him.

“Careful now, don’t want her wound too tight.” You gently kick his foot, and he slides out from under the vehicle.

“Back for revenge?” Eddie slaps his hands together to wipe off the excess grease he’s accumulated, then stands to better greet you. He turns the music on his stereo down, some obnoxious metal song you’re sure he thinks is super artistic. “Look, I know you probably didn’t want me taking care of you, but I wasn’t gonna just leave you there to pass out on the floor.”

“I just want some answers.”

“Yeah, alright.” Eddie wipes the sweat from his forehead. You can’t help but take him in, white t-shirt covered in black soot, coveralls pulled down low on his waist. His hair is tied back, revealing his soft cheeks and metal clad ears. He catches you staring and waves a dirty hand in front of your face. “Hello, earth to Tweety?”

“Stop calling me that.” You huff, fists clenching at your sides. “No one calls me that anymore.”

“That’s why I like it. But fine, what d’you want me to call you?”

You glare at him. You know he’ll come up with a multitude of nicknames that will make your stomach flip with rage if you give him that freedom. “Bee’s fine.”

“Aw, c’mon, everyone else calls you Bee.”

You shrug. “Shoulda thought about that when you betrayed my trust forever.” He’s too invested in your banter, and you catch him off guard.

“Wow, right to it, huh? No ‘How’re you, Eddie,’ no ‘Sorry I puked all over your shoes, Eddie.”

You flush. “I puked on your shoes?”

His facade breaks, and he grins wickedly. “No, you didn’t. But I had ya for a second.”

“Ugh, can you be serious for like, five minutes? Then I’ll leave you alone forever.”

“Forever, huh? Sounds way too good to be true.” You can’t explain why his words sting. You feel them in your throat. Eddie plucks a joint from his ashtray and pats his many pockets. “You gotta light?” He asks, filter between his teeth.

You pluck your bright yellow lighter from your sweatshirt pocket, offering it to him. “Thanks, Bee.” He winks at you, and you fight the urge to start walking home. He puffs on the poorly rolled joint and offers it to you.

“No, thanks. I only smoke with friends.” It’s a low blow, you recognize that, but the frustration in your chest is building to an unbearable level.

Eddie clutches his chest in mock offense. “You wound me.” He pouts, batting his obnoxiously button-like eyes. You have to look away.

“Well, you said you wanted answers. Let’s see what I can provide.” He hops up onto the hood of his car, feet dangling above his license plate. You stay planted in front of him, posture tense as you debate how to approach the topic. “Why doesn’t Chris hate you?”

Your question throws him off. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb, Munson. You testified against him. I’d be counting down the days til I got out so I could get your ass if it were me. How- why are you guys still friends?”

Eddie shakes his head, inhaling yet another hit. “Chris is just not that guy, I guess. Maybe he had time to think in the hole.” His response is completely unconvincing, and you roll your eyes for the millionth time today.

“That’s bullshit.”

“Okay, you know what? He told me to do it. Said it would keep me out.”

A pregnant pause. Then, shrieking, “And you just listened to him?!” Your voice is octaves above natural, growing more piercing by the second. “Friends don’t do that! They don’t betray each other.”

“Look, Bee, I don’t know what you want from me. An apology? Fine, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I listened to Chris and got him locked up, I’m sorry I’ve made you fucking despise me. I was eighteen, barely fuckin’ legal. I had no priors, no guidance. I had no one to ask for some goddamn help— besides Chris— so I trusted him. If I could go back and change it, I would. I’d rather have him hate me one hundred times over if it would mean a good relationship with you.” He stops abruptly, lips pressed together tightly like he hadn’t meant to say that.

“Well, you can’t.” A weak response, mumbled to the floor.

“Yeah, no shit.” Eddie cranks the music back up, slamming the door on your conversation. It’s another loud, angry song. “You can go now.” He turns his back to you, and you can’t even bring yourself to ask for your lighter back.

-

“I can’t fucking stand him!” You’re pacing Robin’s room back and forth while she watches with wide, deer in headlight eyes. “He has the fucking audacity to tell me my brother asked him to snitch? He really thought I’d believe that?” You turn to Robin, and she gapes at you. “Hello?”

“What? Oh, sorry. I don’t know, Bee! Think about it. Chris took Ed under his wing. They did everything together.”

“Yeah, you think I don’t know that?”

She shrugs. “I’m just saying, it’s a valid reason to hate him. He was treated more like Chris’s blood than you were sometimes. But, I dunno, I don’t think Eddie would lie. Not to you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Robin sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “God, it’s kinda crazy that you can’t see it. The way that kid used to follow you around like a lost puppy, the way he still looks at you now.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You’re in no headspace to consider what she’s saying, not after what you learned today.

“Please, Bee! He had no fucking reason to take care of you. He wanted to.”

You groan, flopping back onto her bed. “I don’t trust him. I can’t.”

“Yeah, it’s him you can’t trust.”

You sit with it, let it eat you alive, but you don’t respond.

-

Steve arrives at his and Robin’s shared apartment with pizza an hour later, and offers both of you a fancy IPA that’s supposed to “enhance the flavors of the sauce.” You snort at his pretentious delivery, but accept the drink anyway.

“What did I miss?” He flops down on the couch between you and Robin, remote aimed at the television.

“Nothing much, Bee just learned some very earth shattering news.”

“What?” Steve whips his head in your direction, eyes frantic. “What god awful thing did she tell you about me.”

Robin snorts. “Dingus, relax. Not everything is about you!”

You snicker, and pry a piece of pizza from the box, cheese stretching across the table. “But now I wanna know what would make you this nervous if she did tell me!” You fold the pie before cramming a bite into your mouth.

“No, we’re not changing the subject. What happened?”

You glare at Robin for bringing it up. Steve has a tendency to worry when things aren’t all sunshine and rainbows with his friends. He knows you and Eddie aren’t close, but he appreciates your mutual ability to remain civil. “Robin thinks Eddie has a thing for me.”

“Eddie definitely has a thing for you.” Steve says without missing a beat, unfazed by the bomb he’s dropping on your head.

“What?”

“What? Is this not common knowledge? I’ve known for, like, months. I dunno if it’s a crush, per se, but there’s… something. You can’t tell me you had no idea.”

You definitely did not have any idea. “You’re fucking with me. You have to be, that doesn’t make any goddamn sense! He treats me like shit, like I’m the most annoying person on the planet. He never invites me to hang out with you guys, we haven’t hung out alone in, like, six years. You're making shit up.” You cross your arms, waiting for the argument that doesn’t come.

Steve shrugs. “He knows you don’t like him. Or, he thinks you don’t. I know better.” Steve winks at you, and you stick your tongue at him. “He’ll probably never admit it, but if you just pay the smallest bit of attention to the way he acts around you, you’ll get it.” Robin nods in agreement, like she’s known this all along.

“You guys are traitors!” You groan, taking another messy bite of pizza. “Can’t believe my best friends are telling me the most dreadful news possible right now.”

“Oh relax, drama queen. It could be worse, I could tell you all the things he’s told me about you in middle school.”

Your eyes feel like they pop out of your head. “What the fuck did he tell you?!”

Robin giggles. “Don’t worry about it!”

You flip her off, and she throws her head back, cackling.

—

The Hideout is dead. It’s a weeknight, and the only people at the joint are the same five drunks you’ve grown quite fond of over the last few years. There’s Samuel, a construction worker that’s been on the same job for the last two years with almost nothing to show for it; Jack, the executive supervisor of some uppity tech business in Indianapolis that’s yelling on the phone outside most of the time; Suzette, who comes in on Sundays to watch the game, and Mike and Mark, the old gay couple that tip you really well and call you Dolly.

“More Jack, Jack?” Your perky disposition makes the suit smile ever so slightly.

“Make it a double, darlin’.” He jabs the END button on his cell grumpily, and you pour his whiskey neat into a fresh glass.

You’re about to ask him what’s got him upset, he usually isn’t here during this late, when the door swings open with a creak, barely drowned out by the song blaring over the speakers, one you’d chosen to let off some steam that is very quickly finding its way back.

It’s as if the universe is out to get you. Eddie holds the door open for his date, a date that is certainly not Chrissy Cunningham. This girl looks more like Morticia Addams and a tattoo machine had a baby, and you wonder if this was who Robin had been referring to. She’s stunning, covered neck to toe in intricate ink you could play iSpy with. Her hair is long, dark, and silky, swaying down to her butt. Did this woman lose a bet? Why is she here with him?

He catches you staring and has the audacity to wink at you, pulling a chair out for Morticia. You quickly avert your eyes, suddenly fascinated with the stains on the bar. It’s not two minutes later that you feel his presence in front of you.

“Hey, Tw- Bee. Funny seeing you here.”

You don’t respond to his attempt at conversation. “What do you want?” You deadpan, trying to keep your expression blank. Uninterested. Cold.

“I’ll have a beer, Red Stripe if you got it. The lady wants a martini, extra dry.”

“‘Course she does.” You think you say it quiet enough, but the tilt of his head tells you otherwise.

“What’s got your panties in a bunch, Princess?”

“What? Nothing! She just looks like the type, y’know? Fancy.” You cringe. Luckily, Eddie doesn’t seem to notice.

“She’s so cool, right? Name’s Macy. Met her at a gig.”

“Uh huh. Here,” You hand him his drinks. “Would you like to open a tab?”

“Nah, this is only our first stop.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “And, no offense, this isn’t really an ideal date spot.”

His words knock your brain around. “Date, huh?” The words catch in your throat. “I didn’t think Eddie Munson went on dates.”

Eddie falters, but recovers quickly. “I’m full of surprises, Sweets.” He slides the drinks off the bar, slapping a 20 on the table. “Keep the change. See ya ‘round.” He kisses the air in your direction, and your fist clenched tightly around the soda gun. You spray yourself in the face with club soda, and grit your teeth to keep from screaming.

—

Your shift is crawling by, your only company until eleven being the cook and the seven patrons, two of which you’ve been staring daggers at for the last hour. Someone has queued a slew of slow, sad songs and you have a suspicion Suzette is still sulking about the Colts’ loss.

Eddie and Macy are lost in conversation. He’s staring at her with a stupid, lovesick expression you wish you could slap off his face. She seems enamored, sipping her second martini without ever breaking eye contact with him. It drives you up the wall. As if hearing your silent prayers, Eddie pushes from the table, and holds out Macy’s coat for her to slip her slender arms into. He slips his own leather clad arm around her waist and make their way to the door. You’re almost at ease, finally, but he stops abruptly and pivots on his heel, coming right at you.

“Hey,” He calls, leaning over the bar as you whip around, busying yourself organizing the fridge. “Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.” You don’t turn around, stacking used glasses on the dish rack.

“Can I ask the front of you something?” His voice is teasing. You turn back to face him, finding his face far too close to yours. Behind him, Macy’s tapping her foot in annoyance by the door.

“Make it quick, you're keeping her waiting.” You nod in her direction, but he brushes it off.

“You ever… think about what could have happened? Y’know, with us? If things were different, I mean.” You can smell the beer on his breath, he’s so close.

You shrug. “Not really, no.”

His face falls for a fraction of a second before he recovers, stoic.

“Right, yeah. ‘Course not. See ya, Bee.” He waves weakly, then steps forward to hold the door for Macy, disappearing into the Autumn night and leaving your brain feeling like TV static.

—

You get home around 3am, dragging your sore feet over the threshold with a heavy groan. The apartment is quiet, save for the gym of the TV coming from Chris’s makeshift bedroom in the den. He’s out like a light, snoring obnoxiously as reruns of The Simpsons flash multicolored across his face. You tiptoe past him, into your room where you all but collapse on top of your bed, still fully clothed. Eddie’s question plays on repeat in your head, much to your frustration. Why does he even care if you think about him? Why would he ask you that?

You’re pondering whether to tell Steve when your phone starts ringing.

You can’t hide the exhaustion, wishing you could just curl up and pass out. Steve knows you’re awake, knows you just got home. “Hey, Stevie.”

“Hey, Bee. You okay?” Worry laces your friend’s voice.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He hesitates, you can hear his breath stutter into the receiver. “Well, I got a cryptic text from Eddie. He told me he did something stupid, was wondering if you had a clue what he was talking about?”

You roll onto your back, groaning into the phone. “Is this really that important right now? Eddie’s dramatic, we know this. He didn’t do anything worth panicking over.”

“But he did do something?”

“Ugh, no! He was drunk. Asked me if I ever thought about him, if we could be friends I guess.”

“And what’d you say?”

“I was honest. I said no.”

“Shit, Bee. That’s cold.”

“What, should I have lied? Told him we could’ve been best friends if he hadn’t snitched on my brother?”

There’s a lilt in Steve’s voice. “Is that a lie?”

You bite your lip, thinking. Maybe you and Eddie could’ve been friends, but there’s no use dwelling on it. “No, it’s not. I don’t like to live my life through what ifs.”

“Okay. I get it. I mean, I get what you’re saying. I get his worry too, though.”

You roll your eyes despite his inability to see you. “Okay, Steve. It’s late. I’m gonna go to bed.”

“Yeah, alright. Sweet dreams, Bee.”

“‘Night, Stevie.” You click the END button and place your phone on the nightstand. After a struggle to get up, you quickly change into your pajamas, swearing you’ll shower in the morning, before flopping back into bed.

—

[void-ink-studios]

Rinse and Spit [Part 2] - A Mouthwashing AU

Chapter 2 baby!!! It's a bit of a calm before the storm type of deal. And a little bit more character interaction, for better or worse.

Check it out on Ao3 right here! And drop a comment while you're there!

Content Warning: Depictions of physical abuse.

Curly didn’t see the others much these days.  Not that he saw Swansea or Daisuke very much, even before the mysterious meeting with Anya.

But now, not even she came to see him much.  Just to redress his bandages, give him an IV for food, and keep him as clean as could be helped in such situations.  But she didn’t speak to him.  Or really look at him anymore.

Maybe she finally figured out how to hate him.  Curly figured it was only a matter of time.  Five months of taking care of someone that could be blamed for all current problems had to have taken its toll on her.  He didn’t blame her in the slightest.

She watched him through the night, just to make sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit.  She extended as much care as she needed to.

It’s exactly what Curly deserved.

He had no right to miss their one sided conversations.  Or her reading out loud to him some cheesy fantasy novel, or the employee handbook.  He didn’t need any of it, didn’t deserve any of it.  So it’s only right, he supposed, that she’d decide that as well.

But the other’s absence meant that it was just Curly and Jimmy in the Med Bay these days.

And Curly hasn’t had a moment’s peace yet.

Jimmy liked to stare at him.  Maybe gawk is the better descriptor.  He seemed to take some amusement or satisfaction looking at Curly’s state.

Curly had done his best not to dignify it with eye contact.  But it was hard when you felt the burning emptiness locked onto you.

He touched a lot.  No matter how many times Curly made noises to indicate it hurt, or how he moved his weak limbs, he was touched.  He was moved and turned and rotated, as if Jimmy was trying to take in every detail.  He opened and closed his mouth, sometimes hard enough to make his teeth rattle against each other.  He forcefully turned his head to make him look at random things.  He picked at bandages, staring as his ruined skin tugged on them.

I hope this hurts.

Sometimes he would just choke him.  If Curly ever made it out of this, he would remember the look on Jimmy’s face forever.  There wasn’t any light in his eyes.  Not even anger or disgust.  Just emptiness as he squeezed and pushed hard onto Curly’s neck.  Sometimes he’d rummage through a drawer and see how far he could push a tongue depressor down Curly’s throat.

Jimmy didn’t talk much during these visits.  Only when he gave him his pills did he really talk.  But dear god did Curly wish he didn’t.

“I know the way you thought of me” he started.  “I was your charity case, right?  Saving me from my struggle of a life?  Yeah, I see that, Curly.  I suppose you think I should thank you?”

Jimmy stared intensely at the pill between his fingers.

“Who should be thanking who now?  Not like you can do anything without my help anymore.  It’s you’re fault we’re in this mess.  I think you should act a bit more grateful.”

The pilot leaned in close, close enough Curly could smell his breath.

“Say thank you.”

Curly did move.  Didn’t open his mouth.  Just kept his eye locked on Jimmy’s.

“I said to say thank you.  Say thank you and I give you your pill.”

Jimmy’s hands were rough.  They always had calluses, he’d worked a number of odd jobs back on Earth, labored the softness of his skin away.  And Curly could feel all those years of struggle as his former friend started to squeeze his cheeks tightly, forcing him to maintain eye contact.

“I’m busting my ass around this ship because of you.  The least you could do is be thankful for it.”

Curly’s world goes topside as Jimmy shook his head back and forth.  Black spots filled his vision, and he could hear the blood rushing in his head and ear.  And the grip just kept getting tighter.

“Say it.”

Curly forced his throat to make sounds.  Some kind of approximation of “Thank you.”  Anything to get Jimmy to leave faster.

“There.  Wasn’t so hard to just show a little appreciation, right Captain?”

Curly had learned to mostly escape his own body when Jimmy shoved his fingers down his throat.  That’s been a skill he’s gotten really good at.  He could carry his mind away, to other places and times, far far away from the Tulpar.

But he could never escape for very long.  Jimmy patted his cheek like he was a misbehaving child finally deciding to cooperate.

“You know.  If we had the supplies and Swansea could let go of a bottle of mouthwash for long enough, I bet we could put together a little button wall for you.  You know, like those videos of the talking dogs Daisuke was showing you?  Then you can tell us when you need your pills instead of making those fucking noises all the time.  Look at me.  Still fixing things.”

Jimmy laughed.  Curly didn’t.

He had hoped that would be the end of it.  But he was hardly so lucky these days.

“Stop staring at me.”

Curly flicked his gaze up at the ceiling, his eye tracing the patterns of the seams in the ceiling.  He could still see Jimmy, out in his peripheral.  Staring at him.

“Why’d you have to give Swansea the ax, hm?  Old bastard won’t hand it over.  Kept saying how you entrusted him with it.  Even before the crash.”

Curly wasn’t sure where he was going with this.  What was he meant to do?  Answer?  He’s not even sure why.

But there was something in Jimmy’s expression that makes him glad he did.

“...This really was all your fault, huh?  If you had just… Well, we wouldn’t be here.  And now look at you.  You’re too useless to be angry at.  Managed to dodge any responsibility and get to lay here.  You don’t have to do anything.  Must be paradise, right?”

And then Curly was alone again.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, just trying to breathe and let the pill’s effects take hold.  He didn’t even like how the pills felt.  He felt clouded.  Muffled.  Not even in a way that could let him relax or distract him from the pain.  It’s just now he can’t do anything to express that discomfort.  He can’t even make “those fucking noises” when they take effect.

Best he could hope for is them making him too tired to do anything else but sleep.

He didn’t know if Anya knows that.  Does she think they’re helping?  Does she know that Pony Express paid for the cheapest possible painkillers and called it a day?

He didn’t know which answer would be worse.

“...Captain?”

Curly jumped a little.  Couldn’t be…

Daisuke seemed lost.  He always looked a little lost, but this time he really looked out of place.  He’d been to the Med Bay a few times, as far as Curly remembers.  A few bumps and bruises that Anya had to clear, especially after the foam wall mishap.

“Uh, hi Captain.  It’s been a while.”

Curly made a soft noise as Daisuke inched into the room a bit further.  He turned his head, unable to look at the intern.

The kid shouldn’t be here.

Take Responsibility

It was Curly’s fault this kid was here.  He remembered the memo from Pony Express, that they assigned an intern to the voyage.  He remembered getting frustrated, but letting it go and informing Swansea he’d be training a new crew mate.  He remembered how excited Daisuke was when he boarded the ship, immediately tripping over the last step before the captain could warn him about it.

Curly thought bitterly about Pony Express.  Why bother hiring an intern if they knew they were going under?

God, what are his parents thinking right now?  Did they know?  Did anyone on Earth know they’re stuck out here?  When would they figure it out?  Long after they’re all mummified in this metal tomb, that’s for certain.  If they even get that far.

“Are you feeling any better?”  Daisuke sat on the chair right next to his bed, where Anya usually sat.  He turned his head to look at the kid.  “Right… Dumb question, sorry.”

He pulled something out of his pocket.  Oh… His game system… Swansea had complained when he first saw it, called it a waste of batteries.  And maybe it was.  But Curly let him keep it anyway.  What harm could two missing batteries cause, after all?

Curly remembered Daisuke showing him the game he was playing, months ago.  Some platformer, a difficult one, one Daisuke himself said he was kinda bad at.  Yet he kept playing.  Curly couldn’t recall a time he’s seen the intern not smiling while playing.

Unconsciously, Curly makes a noise, a motion towards Daisuke, who had begun playing.

“Oh!  You wanna see?”

Curly hesitated for a second before nodding.

“Awesome.  So, I’m on this level with a bunch of explosive mushrooms, the explosions are huge and hard to dodge.  Never made it past this level.”

Curly watched the gameplay, the tiny character trying to dodge and weave between fungal bombs.

He felt himself move before he consciously realized he was doing it.  But he found himself now on his side, watching the game.  It was the most movement Curly’s had in days, at least movement that he initiated.

“Swansea’s not interested, Anya’s busy, and Jimmy… well, nobody seems to really have time for anything other than stress right now.  A-And I don’t blame them, this situation sucks.  Maybe we’ll get famous for it later, but right now… Things are pretty dicey, Captain.  I know I should probably be doing something more useful right now but… I don’t know.  I just don’t want to make things worse.”

Daisuke looked at Curly, a little surprised to see the captain’s change in position.

“Oh, woah.  Anya said you haven’t moved in ages.  Heh, glad my game’s so interesting, Captain.  Makes me play better, I bet.  Be my good luck charm?”

Curly didn’t make a noise, just a shallow little nod.  If he could smile, he would.  It was the first in a long time that the captain felt he was being treated like a human.

Not that you deserve it.

“Anya and Swansea have been acting weird lately.  They have little meetings in Utility.  I don’t think they know I’ve noticed.  I thought Swansea said Utility was walled up with foam.  Guess he cleared it out.”

Daisuke made a little triumphant noise as he defeats what Curly believes to be a miniboss.

“They don’t talk about you anymore.  I tried to ask Anya if you were doing any better and she just kinda looked away.  I thought you had died or something. Swansea just told me to not worry about it.  Maybe that’s why I wandered over here.”

Curly made a wounded noise at that.  He figured he was probably a lost cause anyway, but… Well it didn’t make hearing it hurt any less.

“Jimmy’s been weird too.  Or, I guess he’s always been a bit weird.  But now he’s acting really weird.  He keeps telling me that Swansea’s up to something, but… I dunno.”

Daisuke shook his head, his expression turning a little embarrassed.  “Sorry Cap.  Didn’t mean to talk your ear off like that.  Or, uh, wait… Nevermind.  I can go if you, uh, want.”

Curly groaned.  He couldn’t grab, couldn’t reach out very far without the bandages tugging on his back and arms painfully, but he tried his best.

“Oh.  Cool.  I guess I’ll keep playing here then.  It’s quiet here.”

The two stayed like that for a long while, with the only noise being the little sound effects and music coming from Daisuke’s game.  Even the fluorescent buzzing and crackling of the window screen seemed quieter than before.

“I get why Anya sleeps here instead of the Lounge.  Gotta be nice to get away from Swansea’s snoring, right?”

Curly chuffed a weak laugh, surprising even himself.

He wished he could tell Daisuke stories.  He had wanted to ever since the intern first introduced himself after take off.  Wanted to let him know they’ve all been in his position.  And that he’d find his place soon, just like they all did.  But Curly was always too busy or distracted.

Take responsibility

It all seemed so pointless now.  What place was Daisuke meant to find if he lost his job before he even finished his first trip?

“Hey Captain…?”

Curly snapped out of his thoughts, turning to look more directly at Daisuke.

“When we get back, you’ll keep in touch, yeah?”

Curly was confused at that.  Keep in touch?  It’s a miracle every second he’s still breathing, how is he meant to last long enough until they get to a proper hospital?

But then he saw the look in Daisuke’s eyes.  He was always such a happy kid.  Smiling even when Anya lost her mind at his luck in dice games.  Laughing even as Swansea scolded him for doing something foolish.  Joking even in the face of what’s certain death to everyone else.

But… Well, Daisuke probably knows that too.  He knows the chances of them ever seeing Earth again are slim enough to cut air.  He knows as much as everyone else.

Do you see the dead pixel?

Curly nodded, making his best effort at a positive noise.

“Awesome.  I gotta tell Mom and Dad what a cool boss you are.”

Take responsibility

The door slid open, breaking whatever spell was cast over the Med Bay.  The buzzing and crackling filled Curly’s head again, the pill’s effects finally enveloping his head.  He spotted Anya, who looked a little startled.  Both at Daisuke’s presence and Curly’s new position.

“Daisuke.  Did you need anything?  Another new bruise?”

“No Ms Volkov.  Just chatting with the Captain.”

Anya looked between Curly and Daisuke.  Curly had the impression like she was inspecting him.  Whether it was like an insect or like a wound, he couldn’t tell.  He wordlessly rolled back over onto his back.

“...Swansea was looking for you.  You might want to meet him in the lounge before he blows a gasket.”

“Yes ma’am” the intern said with a silly little salute.  He turned to look at Curly one more time.  “I’ll talk to you later, Captain.  You’re my new good luck charm with my games.”

And with that, it was just him and Anya once again.

The two stared at each other for the longest time.  Curly hoped that maybe she would finally speak to him again.  His selfish heart still ached for her company.

I hope this hurts.

“...Goodnight Captain.”

And Curly was alone again.

[swiftiethatlovesf1]

Betty

Hii guyss, here's the second one-shot about Taylor Swift's folklore love triangle, starring Max as James. If you want to read more stories of mine here's my masterlist or August's point of view :)

Max stood on the uneven cobblestones outside her house, heart pounding like a drum in the silence of the neighborhood. The sharp, crisp scent of autumn mingled with the dying sweetness of summer on the breeze. He’d been here countless times before, but tonight felt different—like a last chance, a thin thread he was desperate not to lose.

Each step up the path to her door echoed in his ears, the weight of guilt pressing on his chest. He could still see her eyes from that day at the paddock, wide with disbelief and betrayal before she’d turned away, taking the light with her. The memory was a blade that cut deeper with each replay.

Rumors had spread like wildfire—cruel, twisted versions of the truth whispered by voices that never knew how much it hurt. It was Kika who told her, who confirmed what was real, and even though she was often dramatic, this time, there was no exaggeration. The worst thing he ever did was what he did to her, and every time he thought about it, the shame dug deeper.

The summer had started as an escape, a fleeting thing that he thought wouldn’t matter. But it had turned into something far worse—a betrayal of the one person who did matter. He hadn’t planned to get so caught up, hadn’t realized that with every stolen moment and whispered laugh, he was tying knots in a web that would eventually ensnare them all.

He clenched his fists, rehearsing the words he’d been practicing for weeks. Apologies that felt empty and hollow in his own mouth, promises that seemed small compared to the hurt he had caused. His throat tightened as he rang the doorbell, the sound sharp and final in the night air.

The seconds dragged, and just as doubt began to gnaw at him, the door opened. There she stood, framed in the golden glow of the hallway light, arms crossed protectively over her chest. Her expression was guarded, eyes searching his face, and it took everything in him not to break under her gaze.

“I know I’m the last person you want to see,” Max started, voice rough with emotion. “But I need you to hear this, even if it changes nothing”

She said nothing, but the fact that she didn’t shut the door was a thread of hope. He took a breath, forcing himself to meet her eyes.

“I messed up,” he continued, the words tumbling out like a confession. “It’s always been you. I spent the summer running from that, but all I did was run in circles that brought me back to you.”

Her gaze flickered, something unreadable shifting there. The silence stretched, so heavy he thought he might drown in it.

“I hate that I hurt you. The worst thing I ever did was betray your trust, and I’d give anything to take it back,” Max said, his voice cracking. “I thought I was protecting myself, being careless, but I ended up losing the only thing that really matters. I know it’s asking too much, but if there’s even a chance… if there’s even a piece of you that could forgive me…”

He took a small step closer, close enough to see the way her lashes trembled. “I’m here now, not knowing anything but this: I miss you, and I’m sorry. And I need to know if there’s a chance—any chance—that you could forgive me.”

She looked away for a moment, her lashes brushing her cheek as she blinked back whatever thoughts clouded her mind. The silence between them felt fragile, like a breath could shatter it.

“I know I can’t erase what I did, but I need you to know I’d spend forever trying to make it right,” he whispered, stepping just close enough to feel the warmth radiating from her presence.

Her eyes met his, and he held his breath, searching for anything—any flicker of the girl who’d once welcomed him with a smile that felt like home. But she said nothing. And though the silence was filled with the tension of words unsaid, he felt a faint glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, she was listening.

“I’ll wait,” he said, voice almost breaking. “For as long as it takes.”

[starlight727]

A little gift (part 3, the final part, I promise lol)

Shadow Milk Cookie x reader fic (Chapter 2 - Theater of Lies)

Author's note: Had planned to leave this part for part 2, but decided to make a separate part for it, so here we go, final act, let's do this!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 (you are here)

"As saddening as it can be, we've reached the last round! And since it's the last question, you get twice the amount of points!" announced Shadow Milk with a sad tone in his voice, but at the same time he sounded excited for what was coming next. He pointed out this last question was for White Lily, you looked over your shoulder to see her pale face and eyes widened, she tried to steel herself, but what came next shocked her to her core.

"You sure seem proud of your new title of 'the Guardian of the Seal...' ...let's see how great you really are...!" and with that, Shadow Milk summoned lots of strings that held you and your friends up in the hair by the wrists and ankles, it scared you all, it was a painful feeling how tight the strings were.

But suddenly, you felt the strings let go of your limbs and you fell on a solid platform, it was a cardboard star! You were then carefully taken to the one place you never expected to be: Shadow Milk's hand. You were frozen in fear, trying your best to hide your trembling self. Your eyes were wide open, taking in every single detail in the giant entertainer's form, his attire, his strange hair (or hat, what even was all of that??), his face... his wonderful face and its... majestic features... oh my Witches, you were falling in love with him HARD, like a shooting star crashing on Earthbread (that doesn't make sense but you get the idea). You got up on your feet, but your shaking knees were not helping you keep your balance. You tried walking up to him, but you tripped over your own foot (like a clumsy main character, you hated it), but to your surprise, he caught you just in time! Your gaze softened at the surprisingly generous act, you were staring at him, at his gorgeous sky blue eyes, for so long, you got lost in them, you didn't notice you were so deep in there until Shadow Milk started talking to you with a voice so soft it could be softer than silk.

"Hello there, Y/N Cookie!" he began with a light chuckle, something that snapped you out of your trance and made you blush like mad.

"Hehe, don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you, my little star. You'll stay right here, close to me, so I can keep my eyes on you~." he said as he moved you to the top of the Silver Tree, where the night sky was covered with thousands of blue eyes peering into your soul. It took you a couple of minutes to register what just happened, you needed to lie down after that, you felt like you were about to pass out and you didn't wanna fall off the platform you were standing on, so you rested on it while everything else was happening.

While you were asleep, a lot of important events were happening: Shadow Milk Cookie was holding your friends hostage (Wizard’s string restraints were tighter than everyone else’s), White Lily Cookie was about to make the ultimate decision between saving everyone or defeating Shadow Milk, all while he was making sure you didn’t get caught in the crossfire because the last thing he wanted was for you to get hurt by his hands, especially hers. So everything was going great for him so far, he was going to kill your friends, rule Earthbread and have you be his favorite doll forever… until… something unexpected happened. White Lily used her Guardian powers not to attack Shadow Milk, but to seal the crack in the Tree, thus ruining his plans (also making shrink in size) and saving everyone in the process. You were slowly waking up after the blast healed the Tree, all those loud noises and bright lights were too much, you had to see what was going on.

“You... YOU...!!!! I gave you only two choices...!!!” his loud complaints woke you up more and more, you quickly got up from the platform and stretched. But suddenly, it started shaking and slowly falling, you tried your best to stay calm and steady, but you were at the top of the Tree so it wasn't as easy as you thought it would be. It wasn’t long before the cardboard star you were standing on disappeared completely and you were plummeting to the ground, screaming for help.

“…!!!” Shadow Milk gasped at the sight of you falling, so he extended his hand towards you and a bunch of gooey black tentacles rose from the ground to grab you, bringing you close to him.

“There you go, my darling! Wouldn’t want you hurting yourself now, would we~?” he said as he caressed your face, you blushed a darker tone at the gesture, you weren’t expecting to be this close to him like this, this was simply too much!

“Y/N Cookie! Hold on!” exclaimed White Lily, sending large green vines to your location, grabbing you and pulling you away from Shadow Milk.

“NO!!! You're NOT taking my star away from ME!!!!” he shouted as he sent more tentacles to grab you and pull you away from her, both cookies were now pulling you in opposite directions. It hurt you a lot, you were cracking from the tight grips the vines and tentacles had on you. You were visibly uncomfortable and groaning loudly, both cookies were now fighting for your safety and survival.

“How dare you ruin... This moment I've been waiting for for so long...” his tentacles’ grip on you was weakening, White Lily vines’ kept pulling away from him, their grips were so tight you were losing air, you couldn’t breathe properly anymore.

“Eugh... Agh...” you didn’t like hearing him groan in pain, his tentacles were getting weaker and weaker. White Lily took his moment of weakness to her advantage and used her vines to pull harder, successfully bringing you closer to her.

“WHOA!!” you exclaimed as you were pulled away from Shadow Milk’s grasp.

“ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

…

……everything went silent, everything turned white…

………….

You were unconscious for a long time.

“…….Y-……” someone was calling out to you.

“…Y/N…………..” you were slowly opening your eyes.

“……Y/N Cookie…!” your eyes shot wide open, you were breathing heavy, you tried to get up but the pain in your waist hit you like a bullet. Pure Vanilla and White Lily were holding you steady, making sure you didn’t hurt yourself more.

“It’s alright, Y/N Cookie! You’re safe.” said Pure Vanilla as he was healing your wounds.

“Aughh, hmm? Pure Vanilla Cookie…? White Lily Cookie…?”

“Oh Y/N Cookie, I’m so sorry for the damage I caused, if there’s anything I could do to make it up to you…” said White Lily, gently placing her hand on your forehead while looking away from your damaged self.

“No no, it’s ok. You did it to save me, thank you…”

White Lily smiled softly at you, Pure Vanilla smiled at her, he was so grateful that she was able to save you. A few moments later, Gingerbrave and friends, Mercurial Knight and Silverbell came to see you.

“Y/N Cookie, you’re ok!” exclaimed Gingerbrave.

“Oh thank the Witches you’re alright!” said Strawberry.

“Finally, it’s all over for that Beast. Thank you so much, White Lily Cookie.” added Wizard.

“Hehe, hey guys.” you whispered as you tried to get up, your voice was weak from the screaming, and you couldn’t maintain your balance from your broken waist. Luckily, Mercurial Knight and Silverbell were there to catch you.

“Careful Y/N Cookie, do not overexert yourself.” said Mercurial Knight.

“Don’t worry Y/N Cookie, we’ll help you get better, we’ll take you back to the kingdom so you can rest!” said Silverbell while smiling at you.

“Thanks, you two, I appreciate it.”

As you all returned to the Faerie kingdom, you all noticed how everything was going back to normal, all the magic from Shadow Milk’s realm was receding. Oh man… he was gone… oh… why were you feeling sad? This was supposed to be a good thing, right? …right? You weren’t sure how to feel about this, until you heard his voice again.

“You think you won, don't you?!”

“HUH?! How are you still talking?!” exclaimed Wizard, you wanted to know how he was talking too!

“You may be celebrating your little victory for now... ... But heed my words! We have finally risen. Do not think that you can hold us back. Foolish Cookies...! You simply have no idea what's waiting for you...! HA HA HA HA HA!”

…

…….

……….

It had been a while since Shadow Milk warned you all about the upcoming danger that was headed your way. You were feeling better about your injuries, Pure Vanilla managed to heal you and the Faerie Cookies patched you up. Everyone was celebrating White Lily's triumph over Shadow Milk's evil ways by having a feast to honor her and the late Elder Faerie. None of this made you feel better emotionally though, you felt conflicted whether you should be happy for everyone winning against Shadow Milk... or sad over his forced departure. You needed some time alone to think, so you excused yourself to go check on the Silver Tree, Mercurial Knight suggested against this because you were still healing from your wounds. You told him you'd be ok on your own, you trusted White Lily's magic would protect you from harm, so he let you go. You made your way towards the Tree, where you rested your head against it and imagined yourself with Shadow Milk again.

"Hey, Shadow Milk Cookie? ...I thought your show was great. I thought... I think... you're great! You're amazing, and funny, and extremely handsome, heh." you started quietly, hoping he could hear you from inside the Tree.

"I wish... I wish I could... see you again..." you whispered as you placed your hands on the Tree, giving it a little kiss, maybe he could feel you from the other side...

...

......

..........

"You're an interesting little cookie, aren't you~?" he spoke to you in your head, so no one else could hear you. You were startled by his response, you didn't think he'd actually say something! You took a few steps back from the Tree, you were hoping nobody saw you doing all of this.

"What the?? How are you talking to me?"

"I'm in your head, silly! Heheheheh!"

"Oh, right. That's not concerning at all."

"Hehe! Y'know, out of all the Cookies I've tormented today, I didn't expect you to resist. In fact, it almost looked like you were truly... interested in me! Why is that?"

You didn't think he'd ask you about your behavior towards him, so with no other way of answering (cause you knew he could see through your lies), you told him the truth.

"O-Oh, w-well, I just... I just thought... that... you were the most intriguing Cookie I've ever met, and I've met a lot of Cookies on my many adventures, but none of them had the same effect on me like you have."

"And what might that be?"

"...Your charms, your witty banter, the fact that you made me laugh several times during your show... and... the way you treated me was so... gentle and caring... not to mention bold... I honestly didn't expect that coming from the Beast of Deceit himself."

Your answer filled Shadow Milk's ego... and his heart. He felt himself blushing and genuinely smiling from the honest opinion you had about him, he wanted to jump out of the Tree to give you a big hug and never let go, he wanted to smooch you until you were breathless, leaving marks on you to let everyone know that you were his and only his.

"...Well aren't you such a cute little cookie~? As a token of my appreciation, here's a little something that you may have lost during my show." you tilted your head in confusion, what was he talking about? Suddenly, out of nowhere, you heard something fall behind you. You quickly turned around and gasped at what you saw. It was your hat! The one that puppet gifted you! Oh, you were so happy to see that hat again, you took a quick sniff and... yep, the same blueberry milk scent from before.

"...Thank you!" you held the hat close to you before you put it on, still fits.

"You're welcome, doll! Just make sure you don't lose it again... or let your small wizard friend see you with it... hats like that one don't just grow on trees, y'know. And... if you ever come back here... I'd love for you to give me more of those sweet and tender kisses of yours, maybe I could return the favor~."

What the?! How does he know about...?? Wait, he knows, but you never actually kissed him... did you? In a split second, your mind travelled back to the memory of you... giving the puppet a kiss... oh my Witches...

"I- uh-... uhhh...b-but... w-wait what?!" is all that came out of your mouth. You couldn't believe it: The puppet, that was him in disguise! You kissed Shadow Milk Cookie (on the forehead, but still)! Shadow Milk laughed heartily at your stuttering self, blushing while doing so.

"Hahahaha! Oh, you look so adorable when you're confused~!" he teased with a devious grin that you couldn't see. You were feeling very dizzy from all your rushing thoughts and rapidly beating heart, you had to sit down for a little while, luckily the wind was there to cool off your head.

"Hehe, you're full of surprises, Shadow Milk Cookie. And sure, if I ever come back here... then maybe... I could give you a surprise of my own~." you said while taking your hat from your head and giving it a long kiss while looking at the Tree, knowing that he could somehow still see you. Your words and your actions made him gasp loudly and jump with excitement, his face turning dark blue while he floated giddily, giggling, squealing, flapping his hands and kicking his feet in the air like a high school girl who got asked out on a date by the hottest guy in school. You heard him making all those noises, which made a light blush grow on your cheeks, then you chuckled while covering your mouth with one hand. But alas, it was time to go, you knew this because you heard your friends calling you in the distance.

"Y/N Cookie, come on! We gotta go!" shouted Gingerbrave.

"Pure Vanilla and White Lily are calling us!" said Strawberry as loudly as she could.

"Let's go Y/N Cookie, we don't wanna keep them waiting, do we?" added Wizard.

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming!" you answered back, hiding the tone of annoyance in your cheerful response. You really weren't looking forward to leaving, especially since you had a good thing going on with him.

"Well, I have to go now. It was nice talking to you again." you told him sadly with a small frown on your face.

"..."

"...Shadow Milk Cookie?"

"Oh, yeah, my apologies heh, I was just... thinking" he said sternly, staring at your friends, and Pure Vanilla's his Soul Jam.

"Hm, about what exactly?" you said teasingly with a smirk. This made him snap out of his thoughts and smile.

"About how much I'm going to miss you, my shining star~! Hehehehe!" he chuckled lightly. You were blushing a lot, he called you his shining star! Witches, you wanted to jump and squeal, but you couldn't show it because your friends were watching you.

"Uh-... w-well uhm, hehe, I'm gonna miss you too...!" you said while breathing heavily, he's been flirting with you so many times, it was time you did something about it before you left, so you did the next best thing.

"Goodbye, my dazzling jester~!" you finished your statement with a wink and a bow, then quickly turned around and ran to your friends with the biggest grin on your face. You had to hide it from your friends so they don't ask you about what you were doing by the Tree, you also hid your hat somewhere in your clothing only you knew about. As you approached your friends, you all waved goodbye to the Faerie Cookies.

If only you could see the look on his face, he was flabbergasted from your bold move, his face was a whole blueberry, melting in place, drunken smile and everything, sighing dreamily over your eventual return.

"Hey Y/N Cookie, what are you smiling about? Did something good happen?" asked Strawberry curiously.

"Oh it's nothing, just remembered something funny." you said as you cleared your throat, trying to wipe away the smile of your face as best as you could. As you all left the Faerie Kingdom, you took a glance at Pure Vanilla's Soul Jam and you heard him speak to you one last time.

"Farewell, Y/N Cookie of the Cookie Kingdom, I'll see you soon." he said softly, his last message to you, if you could, you'd invite him into your kingdom. You remembered how he mentioned that Dark Enchantress would give him and his comrades new cookie bodies so they could unlock their full potential again. Maybe when he finally gets his new body, you could give him some proper affection. Back home, you stare at your hat as you wait patiently for the day when you eventually reunite with him, when you give him those kisses you promised him... when he returns the favor in the most dramatic and romantic way possible, it would be expected from a Cookie like him, you'd still welcome him and his show of affection with open arms.

When you two meet again.

The end.

[mentallhealthmatters]

Probably late but... (Long rant ahead)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallhealthmatters/766237584051552256/like-fuck-you-shelby-this-guy-had-a-buuunch-of

“This is a 'I don't trust you guys, you weren't my friends,' move. This is 'you guys supported her, even quietly,' this is 'yeah no one fucking talked to him to hear his side of the story' move.”

Oh I have my thoughts and opinions on this and of people wishing or hoping that Wilbur still has friends or is still friends with those that used to be on that friend list. (the MCYT/Streamer Sphere) They are just setting themselves up for nothing but disappointment.

It wouldn't surprise me if everyone from the MC community - even those closest to him - abandoned him, in fact, I'm expecting it. Tommy private/unlisted his Wilbur Return “If I annoy Wil” VOD and even one or more of his YouTube videos that featured Wilbur (Like the Sims one). Philza unfollowed him everywhere, removed everything from his Twitch that even hinted at Wilbur, and he might be modding for Shelby (not 100% sure about that). Hell, he also probably got rid of some videos on his YouTube channel. Molly (Tommy's girlfriend) streamed with Lexie. (I think this was after the allegations) And isn't Lexie an ableist, claiming to be a victim of narcissistic abuse, which I hope she is able to heal but claiming all those with NPD are inherently corrupt or abusers because of a disorder they didn't ask for is just wrong. 

Sidenote/Mini-Rant: Saying "People with NPD will never get better because they lie to their therapists.” Is just so toxic and ableist in my opinion. 1) While NPD can’t be cured, it can be treated, and saying those with NPD will never get better discourages them from seeking those treatments. 2) Only a medical professional, psychiatrist, psychologist, or an expert on NPD can make a diagnosis, not Twitch streamers. 3) NPD and other similar disorders are extremely stigmatized and doing this is just going to make it harder for people with those disorders.

Not to mention all the ones who jumped on the hate bandwagon to throw in their two cents or those who just bashed him, Minx and Billzo for example jumping on the bandwagon: Minx was at a party at his house, saw him and Shelby(?) arguing, tried to insert herself - got denied - then later when Wilbur was heading to the bathroom because he drank too much. She followed him into the bathroom to hold his hair back (never mind that his hair is too short to be held back) Wilbur being drunk, assumed she was trying to harm him, got angry at her, and told her to leave, calmed down, and apologize and said she didn't have to leave, yet she chose to leave anyway. But according to Minx, he’s still somehow the bad guy because he got angry thinking she was trying to hurt him while drunk, she isn't a victim of anything. Billzo handcuffed Wilbur without his consent or permission to a railing(?) as a joke and threw the keys away. Then Wilbur tells or asks him to let him go making it very clear that he didn’t want this nor find the "joke" funny, only for Billzo to inform him that they don’t have the keys and set the cuffs to the tightest setting while Wil’s panicking. So of course this makes Wil panic more til he yells at Bill to find the keys. And somehow people are making Wilbur the bad guy because he yelled, while Bill was the one who restrained him, put the cuffs as tightly as possible, and laughed at him. Wilbur had every right to yell at him! (I would have) And Wilbur apologized to Bill for yelling at him!

And the others, many of whom admitted themselves that they weren't close to or knew Wilbur all that well like Aimsey, Tubbo, Harry, and Max (Didn’t Will need to be reminded by Tommy who Max was at one point?) all of which were very fast to condemn and attack Wilbur but when Beau came out about her story about being kissed without consent (might be more to that) by Snikrep, someone a majority of them hang out with, suddenly they're distancing and excusing themselves. Didn’t Aimsey make a statement on Twt saying she didn’t associate with the guy, only for a recent photo to drop that had both of them hanging out together in it, and then she deleted her statement on Twitter? Weren't Harry or Max (or both) caught on a previous stream where they were making fun/jokes about Beau and her story/situation? Isn't Harry friends with KitWisp and Snikrep who have also been accused of domestic abuse and sexual assault? I’m unaware if anything happened to them. (I think Snikrep is still editing for Tommy) It shows how performative and self-centered their activism and support for victims is. (Correct me if any of the above info is wrong or if you have more to add. I'm recalling all this from memory.)

Hypocrites, they’re hypocrites. “With friends like these, who need enemies" is a saying for a reason. 

I highly doubt he will even glance in Minecraft’s direction or touch it with a 50-foot pole because of all those people previously mentioned, even if he still likes the game itself. 

Wilbur deserves better. Better friends and better people to spend his time with. He needs people who will help him improve, not drop him as soon as the public deems it or when it's not profitable. I believe that it’s best he's gotten rid of all his MCYT "friends" as well. If all of them were willing to use his downfall to boost their reputations and careers, then he's so much better without them. He has worth outside of them and deserves more than them as much as I miss his friendship and dynamic with them. (SBI my beloved)

Besides, Wilbur being in a niche-y band with a small music channel on the side suits him more than being a Minecraft content creator. I say this as someone who found him via his Minecraft content and enjoyed it more than his band. (I like his band/songs, I just enjoyed his content more)

Plus Wilbur's biting habit is fixable, it can be helped. It's not something he kept secret, everyone knew about his biting habit and knew it was something he had done for years. I know change can be challenging, and be a long, slow, and difficult process. But what matters is that he keeps trying! That looks to be what he’s trying to do, with his last post on Twt, with him going to therapy and changing his lifestyle a bit. It's hard to stop a long-term issue or habit that started in childhood, like his biting habit (Old habits die hard) but none of them seem willing to try and help him change or improve himself. You should at least try, you'll probably get kicked and scratched in the process but that's what friends do: try to help each other. (Keyword: TRY. Don't keep burning yourself at both ends of the candle for someone who is unwilling to change. But Wilbur seems to be trying/willing.)

Even if Wilbur and some of his old friends somehow reunite or reconnect sometime down the line, if they can make amends, and rebuild the bridges burnt, those bridges aren't going to be what they were previously. They could only - at most - look similar but never be the same.

Only bridge id encourage being rebuilt is Quackity. *fuck* everyone else. But thats less i care about wilbur and have deemed Quackity to be the only one worth redeeming, but Wilbur is a crucial key to things id like to see from Quackity in upcoming plots and plans, and shelby burned that bridge. The story can still be told, but a name would have been omitted and i rather it not be.

[ofworththerisk]

Natalie hated to watch Will in pain, his injuries were in account of her. He stepped in front of her to save her, and although this was a concept both of us were disagreeing upon, I wouldn’t let him sacrifice himself for me anymore. I loved him; and given all the roads taken to get us here; to get us to admit and say the words I love you without the struggle of hurting someone else. Nat didn’t take the safety, the healing process for granted. Will was very much loved within these hospital walls. Protective even which could be why Goodwin and the team had insisted on Will spending a few extra days here at the hospital, I was okay with but I also noticed how agitated Will was getting, which is why I worked my magic. 

How does the saying go? You do what you can for those you love. I love will, and the last thing I wanted was for his headache to prolong due to being stuck to a bed. Yes his mobility was hard, given the injuries he endured, but Nat was a nurse, she’d help but not fuss, she had the inking feeling Will would chew her out for that one, no matter how much he loved her. But she saw the sparkle of relief, of him coming to his senses now, as that grin played at the corners of his lips, I was a life savior you know, the words hidden on my lips as I moved standing slightly above the male, that cute little grin of mine hitting the corners of my lips. “ I do what I can to please, besides you were obviously gonna try to sneak out if I didn’t..” I added teasingly because I knew Will; he was relentless, he was getting annoyed with how protective the hospital crew were getting; and I only wanted to put his wants first. Leaning down I pressed a quick kiss to his his lips before I muttered. “ You’re our guest which means I wasn’t going to let you bring something. “ Pausing with a hum as she moved to check out the numbers on the monitor and she smirked as she added “ Although next time flowers wouldn’t hurt.” I said with a playful wink of mine. It was nice; we’re on a good page; us, and hopefully once we had signed the discharge papers the injury, wouldn’t take away from this new stage of brewed love between us.

Continued

@thebetterlookingbrother

A promise, a pleading in my voice. I felt weak, like I was alone here. Because the one person I always turned to for advice, to help keep me sane was hurt. Will was a guiding compass for me, he was someone who brought this magical light into my life. Even when I felt like my back was pressed against a wall I could always turn to him. We had kissed once before and I felt the sparks; I knew where my heart laid yet i ran. Because I was scared of losing the most important relationship in my life. 

And now it felt silly because the night I decided to take the plunge, The night I decided the timing was on my side Will got hurt; hit by a car because he was trying to be a hero to save me. I felt the overwhelming feeling, I felt the sadness at the thought of losing him. I felt like I was broken inside; and when I came to his hospital room, I felt that ache in my chest. I lowered myself down into the chair besides his bed; and I extended my hand to touch his. The hand to hold onto him. Fingers laid over his own; a pinky finger slowly tracing over his palm. “ Stay with me.” A plead and with disbelief I saw it; the flicker of his eye as he mumbled my name. Nat; it was music to my ears. I felt the burning in my eyes; the need to cry. 

“ I’m here okay.” A reassurance that I wasn’t going anywhere. That I was at his side when he had the strength to wake up. I saw it the flicker of an eye before his eyes had closed again. He needed his rest; the doctors I worked with hadn’t shown any concern so I wasn’t worried to an extent. I sat during this time cursing myself for all the moments I missed. For not telling Will how I felt before. When he had been so honest before Nina. He had always checked in on me, he had kissed me by the ambulance that one time. The butterflies I had felt that day; but i was scared and for a second I felt the timing would fall into my lap and now I just couldn’t imagine a life without him. 

 I had leaned my head against the chair closing my head briefly as I waited. I heard the nurses talking outside what an unfortunate event tonight; yeah tell me about it. I wanted to roll my eyes; to call them out for their insensitivity of this, but i held my breath. Instead I had stayed quit how long as passed? I don’t know before I had felt the movement in his hand; the fingers in my grasp moved; that’s what forced my eyes to lift open; I tried to pretend i hadn’t cried but I had the feeling Will could read right through me. 

Shifting in my seat; the female had urged herself forward, Dance lessons; is that his first thought? After the accident. I wanted to laugh but held my tongue. “ I think I’m more worried about you than the stupid dance lessons.” A laugh escaped my lips as I had leaned closer against the bed; until my head tilted down to place a small kiss to the top of his hand. 

He was fighting; this was a good sign; I had talk myself into believing.

[dollypopup]

"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily"

I think statements like this typically come from people who like Penelope. . .but don't really understand her. And don't really understand just why she cares for Colin, and just why him groveling would not in any way bring her peace.

Penelope and Colin are kindred spirits in their loneliness, in season 3 more than any others. Penelope had lost her friendship with Eloise, and Colin didn't really have a close friend circle to begin with. Except with Pen. Pen was the person he could put the mask down for, could open up to, (in particular with their 'dreams' discussion) and that's why he couldn't even entertain the idea of giving up talking to her in Season 2. She is a vital part of his life, and holds so much significance and importance to him.

I imagine that's what made their silence over his travels especially painful for him. They spent such a long time talking after Season 1, and he even informs her that her letters were so encouraging, that it helped him heal something inside of himself. That if she could see him in a gentle way. . .so could he. (And he repays this, because he is honest to god out here acting and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky). But without her presence in his life, he spiraled. Didn't feel confident in being who he is, and thus put on his persona more firmly. We know this because he wrote in his journal that "I want to be less needy, less insecure, while still maintaining the core of my vulnerability that makes me who I am". That he misses his family, that he misses home.

And we know, from the books, that Home? Home is Penelope. Penelope is his North Star, is his guiding force, and who I argue he feels he needs. In his very first scene, he looks toward her house, tries to find her in the window. When he does not, he returns to his family. In the outdoor gathering, he looks for her and finds her, eager to talk. He states aloud that he misses her, and I imagine he wrote it, too. Not hearing back from her over the course of his travels was surely something that hurt him, but he doesn't hold any ill will toward her for it, only wants to reconnect again. In fact, the one and only time he brings up how he misses her and that she didn't respond, she makes very clear the reason why: she heard what he said and it hurt her. And he's ashamed of it.

Colin hears her call him cruel, and instead of ruffling his feathers about it, instead of getting upset, instead of having a chip on his shoulder as I feel so many men would about it. . .he understands why she does so.

Penelope is a woman who has been largely treated poorly in her society. She feels unheard, she feels undesired, and in her circumstances, and I can't help but ask myself. . .has anyone ever truly apologized to Penelope for hurting her, before? Her mother? Her sisters? Eloise, likely, but. . .anyone else? And the way Colin did? Because of all the characters in the show, Colin? Colin knows how to apologize. He has a lot of practice in it. And very importantly: Colin, a man of privilege in his society, apologizes. . .predominately to women. To Marina, to his mother, and multiple times to Penelope.

Ultimately, Penelope wants to be heard, Penelope wants to be understood, Penelope wants to feel desired.

And Colin checks every single one of those boxes. He informs he is not who he was before, and then he proves it to her. He hears that he hurt her, and he comments on it directly. An entire night apart, and he comes back to her 'Because I embarrass you' with 'I am most certainly not ashamed of you', replies to her 'I am a laughingstock' with 'you are clever, and warm, and I am proud to call you my good friend'. He hears her proclaim her own insecurities, and empathizes so deeply with her. He listens. He understands. He makes clear that he cares for her, and that she *is* desired. 'You lift my spirits' 'I seek you out at every social assembly'. That she helps him see the world in ways he loves, that he sees HER and how much she has cared for HIM, that she makes him feel appreciated, that he appreciates her, in turn.

And then? Then? He shows her. He tells her, and he shows her. His actions all throughout Season 3 reinforce this apology. He continues looking for her in every corner of every ballroom, he continues complimenting her, he laughs at her jokes and respects her boundaries, he is ever so gentle with her, he listens to her with an attentiveness that no one else has ever given her. To Lady Whistledown? Sure. But to Penelope? Who else in the entirety of that ton has listened to Penelope the way Colin has?

Absolutely no one.

Penelope Featherington ghosts Colin Bridgerton for months with no explanation, and Colin comes back wanting to reach out to her, and she finally tells him why.

And he apologizes. Because he listens. Really, truly listens. And really truly cares.

I need you to understand how rare that is, even nowadays, but especially back then. That Colin is the kind of man who can put his hurt to the side and realize he made a mistake, that he said something callous, and he adores her, and he can't lose her, and he has to see her and make it right.

Because that's why Penelope fell for Colin. Not because he's beautiful, not for his charm, not for his family. But for his heart. Because he shows her kindness in a world that so often disregards her. Because he seeks her out and tries to understand her, truly hears what she has to say and compliments her, says he's sorry and looks at things from her perspective.

Because he saw her when she was invisible.

Penelope Featherington, who grew up in a house that made cruel jabs at her, has Colin Bridgerton come to her and say he regrets what he said, and that he was wrong, and that he understands why she's mad at him. Penelope Featherington who has so rarely had much of anyone tell her that they're sorry for what they said about her, sits before Colin Bridgerton as he professes how much she means to him. That he cannot even spend a full day away from her knowing they're on bad terms with each other without making it right. That he sees how she is hurting and he has to in any way he can amend it. She is lonely, with no one really in her corner at the start of season 3, and she feels like she lost it all, and Colin comes to her and says 'no, I'm here and I appreciate you and you are special to me, please let me in and let me prove it'. Is it any wonder why after she shakes his hand, she stands in the sun, and she feels the warmth of it, she can smile? That she can breathe, again? That she can be truly content for the first time in the season?

Because Penelope Featherington does not want Colin to beg. She knows him. She knows the tender, full heart he hides behind the new cavalier persona. She knows the soft underbelly of Colin Bridgerton.

He never had to grovel. All he had to do was love her. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly. Unapologetically.

And he does.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

OKAY. OKAY. WINTERS FAMILY TORMENT NEXUS. as i've said before this is all REALLY vague rough outlines bc i wanted to bounce it all back n forth with u. but. what i have:

>winters family (mark & ashe & fridged mom/wife) live in a location hit by the simurgh

>mark is at work when she arrives. something horrific happens at home. maybe his wife is injured or hurt, but not killed. ashe (7/8/9) triggers. whatever his powers are, they. do Not help heal his mom. in fact the opposite.

>mark tears back home asap instead of leaving as soon as he hears her song, actively choosing to stay in her effect zone for his family. finds newly triggered baby ashe & the rest of that scene.

>theyve spent too long in the affected zone to be allowed to go free, especially since ashe triggered from it. mark nukes his whole past life & ashe's to escape without undergoing all the protocols. he spends ages doing shit work to support him & ashe bc theyre both legally dead, ends up working for overlord, manages to get enough of a fake past to get through cauldron background checks & get powers? it'll pay so much better than the grunt work he's doing now & he has to support ashe (powered)(legally dead)(would probably be executed if anyone Found Out)....

anyway to me the trickster is like. the endgame of this specific simurgh rube goldberg. somehow it doesn't end horrifically, for once! but it gets. bad. the fact that they're simurgh survivors is always looming over their heads. its why mark fucking freaks out when ashe joins the wards. literally have nothing more specific than this though u gotta help me put meat on these bones!!!!! STOP "being responsible" and "doing work" and stuff START thinking incessantly abt nhw ashe!!!!! i don't even know his powers bc i have no clue how he triggered!!!! augh. god. them..... mods torture that blonde man in the most narratively satisfying and fucked up way possible!!!!

QUIT YOUR JOB JOIN MY EMO WARDS !!!!!!!!!!!!! god dude god dude I'm gonna be thinking about this all fucking DAY . who needs to be responsible and have a job. not me!!!! FUCK !!!!!!!! dude im just. thinking abt mark being at work getting the notice to evacuate and starting to hear the song and. bc it's important to me that he's a little bit of a coward. it takes him longer than he will ever admit to decide to go back to his family. he definitely hesitates and hates himself for it because. what if he had gotten there 10 minutes earlier! who fucking knows! he never will!!

god man I'm just thinking about. that scene where they're in the hospital waiting to hear back about noelle and the person (ai?) at the desk is giving them the rundown of all the containment procedures and handing them paperwork and asking them if they can pay for the medical care. how fucked up would that be to hear after you're in the midst of losing everything. mark winters the universes most hated man. I looooooove the satisfaction in thinking about that snap decision where he goes from "relatively normal if a little emotionally repressed but otherwise does his best suburban dad" to "my wife is dead and my son is fucked up and there's this fucking sound in my head that won't go away I'm about to erase everything and break several laws in order to get us out of here" and how that eventually leads into. supervillain. it's just soooooooo. sickos haha yessss the downfall of this fucking miserable blonde guy. when do you think he consciously made that choice. he heard "you're never going to get out of here and live a normal life again" do you think he just . sat with that for a while. ashe unresponsive either due to shock or fear or the trauma of triggering/whatever his powers are and mark just has to sit there. by himself. like what the fuck am I gonna do now. auaghghghghhhh I need 2 make him so miserable forever. fuck that guy i hate his ass (<< me when I lie)

I THINK . I NEED TO SIT FOR A WHILE AND FINISH THESE NEXT COUPLE CHAPTERS AND PROCESS A LITTLE MORE BEFORE I MAKE A SOLID DECISION ON ASHES POWERS. but you knowwwww it's gonna be some fucked up horror shit. it has to be. it has to be something fucked up enough that mark forbids him from using his powers and keeps him . at home isolated for his own good. but not TOO fucked that he wouldn't be able to join the wards.

actually speaking of. HOW THE FUCK DOES HE JOIN THE WARDS. I know mark basically fucking erased their whole identity and everything but. there's noooo way the prt would let this kid join them. right?????? right????. how the hell would that even be a possibility with all the precautions in place for simurgh survivors. THEY EXPLODED THAT ONE CAPE GUYS HEAD BECAUSE HE STAYED IN PROXIMITY FOR A LITTLE BIT TOO LONG. maybe it's unofficial. maybe he never Officially joins them but he sneaks out while mark is gone and meets the boys somewhere and they become friends out of costume first. and then they learn about his powers and ashe is like "I can help!" and helps them like. as a rogue or something. but hes never registered as an official cape. is this anything. im thinking about him so much what the fuuuuuck have we done. what have we done !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

JoJo Siwa doesn’t deserve all the hate (and homophobia) she’s getting for her style and music; but she does deserve scrutiny for defending Colleen Ballinger and being both active and complicit in abuse that happened on her TV show. Like the girl has been under the public eye in unhealthy environments all her life; cut her some slack — not too much; she’s still a responsible adult — but if you’re going to dogpile her, then at least dogpile her for the right reasons. Jesus Fucking Christ.