#HE IS DOING THE THING TOBEY AND ANDREW WERE DOING BEFORE NO WAY HOME CAME OUT

[tenitchyfingers]

I have found this just now and have actively been losing my mind over this like one of those Loki fans in the early 2010s like

his FACE. He knows something we don’t and he’s TRYING to not say anything.

“I know that there’s been a lot of effort to establish that Stu is still alive in the last movie”

“They’re shooting Scream right now and I’m not in Scream right now. Right now I’m not in Scream, right now I’m in San Diego” (this video was posted in February but it’s sure that it was shot during SDCC 2022 which means he was talking about Scream VI, not anything in the future and him repeating he’s not in Scream RIGHT NOW doesn’t exclude he’ll be in Scream sometime in the future)

So, me, once again:

[deadsetobsessions]

Listen, I know it’s not my usual thing, but I just re-read Dark Matter by mysterycyclone (iconic, so good, incredible, I’ve reread this at least ten times) and this newer work, Help Me, I Don’t Feel Like Myself Anymore by Astra_Nova_Kat (it’s off to a really good and fleshed out, very long start- it’s like 20k for the first chapter omg).

I just. Love?? Them??? They’re both, urg, so good. The writing style, the way the story moves, the natural progression of plot and their usage of tropes are so well done that rarely does it feel awkward. Amazing. Anyways, they inspired me to put my two cents into the proverbial offering hat and while this might not ever be a realized fanfic, here it is? This will have multiple parts.

Uh, I’m basing Peter’s personality off of the really tired millennial energy Tobey Maguire gives, the awkward but well meaning disaster vibes of Andrew Garfield, and the sassy acrobatic chaos gremlin of Tom Holland. All kind of mushed together with the hyper competence and maturity of both the PS4 spidey and pretty much most spider people. He’s 22, or something but that doesn’t really matter?? Background doesn’t really matter because I’m basically making my own spider-verse. Spider… past? Eh. New Peter!

Spider in Gotham AU- Pt.1

[Pt.2]

——

Spider-Man swung through the skyscrapers of his city, enjoying the winds and sounds of New York as he kept a sharp eye out for crime.

He remembered doing this without any of the fancy tech his suit had now, when he was dressed in less protective clothing. God, 100% cotton while crime fighting? The spandex was better but god ugly.

His spider-sense blared. Spider-man quickly shot a web to the top of the building, going towards the danger instead of away from it.

He goes in feet first, years of knocking common thugs to legitimate gods to the ground making short work of the people on the roof top. He flips out of the way, dodging a blast of crackling green energy.

“Heyyyy, common robbers! What’s up with shiny lasers, huh? Breaking and entering not doing enough for ya?”

Spider-Man dodges a couple more shots, flipping again to knee a guy in the face, gently. The man goes down in one shot.

“Stay still, you motherfucker!”

“Does that actually work for you guys?? Like I’m down to get killed but, man, I’m not gonna stay still to get downed by some two bit thugs?” Spider-Man kept his words light and mocking, webbing up a laser gun and yanking it out of the woman’s hands. He punches her in the face and knocks her out, using the laser gun like a mildly bulky baton.

“Eat shit, Spider-bitch!”

“Ouch! Oh no, my feelings! You’ve hurt them!” Spider-Man shoots a web at the lady who’d shouted and yanked, before smacking her straight down to the concrete of the rooftop. His hearing picked up two people coming up the stairway and Spider-Man tossed two web bombs, the metal mechanism attached itself to the wall, waiting for their unknowing victims.

Spider-Man ducked and weaved, downing goons as they piled on him while shooting bullets, lasers, and just charging at him with a bat or a crowbar. After eight years of pretty much this exact thing, Spider-Man had gotten the science of breaking up goon dog piles without hurting them too much to an exact measurement. He quipped at them until they got annoyed, which made them sloppy. Spider-Man sighed as another guy came at him with a crow bar and a gun that he was pretty sure was still stuck on safety. He crouched, kicking out their legs and dodging a swipe of a bat where his ribs would have been and webbed the guy to the floor. Yeah, he’ll wrap this up and end patrol. Maybe he still had Mac n’ Cheese at home, or he could stop by Angelo’s for a sub?

Huh. His options for dinner was limited.

“Take this!”

Even without the forewarning of his spidey-sense, Spider-Man would have ducked out of the way regardless.

“Shouting your sneak attacks isn’t actually all that sneaky, you know!” Spider-Man kept his voice cheery and mocking.

“Get him!”

God, why were there so many people trying to break into an insurance company? This definitely doesn’t smell like a regular B&E. With the shit he’s seen in New York, if it smells like a plot, acts like a plot, then it’s probably a villain with a tragic backstory with big, annoying plans.

Great.

Oh, speak of the devil!

“Spider-Man.” His senses blared.

He couldn’t move out of the way fast enough, not without risking the life of the goon he was currently fighting, so Spider-Man took the blast the punched the breath out of his lungs. The wide eyes of the goon made up for some of the pain.

“Ugh!” Spider-Man slammed into an HVAC, denting the metal. His suit, made special polymer blend from Wakanda that he saved for months to get, absorbed some of the shock. Shit, he hoped it didn’t tear. It would be a bitch and a half to dip into the back up stock he had in his hammer space.

The goons left standing quickly rushed him and held him down to face the new boss.

“You’ve been getting on my nerves, Spider.”

“Yeah,” Spider-Man coughed out, letting the two goons think they could hold him down on his knees as he recovered his breath. “I have that effect on people.”

“But you could be an asset, if you’d join me?”

“Uh, I don’t join or sign things without knowing what I’m joining or signing, my guy. My lawyer said so.”

The villain paused, helmeted head cocking to the side.

“You have a lawyer?”

“Yeah. Kind of? He does pro-bono work for the helpless cases. You know, like, a well meaning, crime fighting vigilante?”

“…Does he do cases against insurance companies?”

“Oh man, you too? Dude, this place sucks,” Spider-Man sighed.

“You’ve had trouble too? Then you must see why I’m doing this!”

This was a bit weird, but if there’s anything that brings people together, it’d be corrupt insurance companies. He’s almost tempted to let them break in, just to be extra petty.

“Nah, my neighbor? Sweet old lady. They’re screwing her out of her entire place. I totally get it, man. Hey, if you need a referral, you can tell my lawyer that Spider sent you. He’s real good.”

“How good?” The goons release him and Spider-Man stood up, stretching his limbs.

“Like, Dare Devil good.”

“You know Matt Murdock??”

“Sure do.”

“He… he’ll take on our cases?”

“Dang, all of you?”

“Yes. We can pool enough money to pay him for one or two.”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure he’ll take you guys on for free. But it wouldn’t hurt if you all went to meet him, just so he can decide which one of you has a higher chance to win in court?”

“We will. Uh.” The villain paused sheepishly. Well, not a villain, more like an unfortunately angry and poor decision making citizen. “Sorry about… you know, the blast.”

“It’s cool. I mean,” Spider-Man gestured to the rooftop, the bodies of unconscious people kind of laying around where he knocked them down. “You guys might wanna check on them, yeah? I’ll let you go for now, but if you commit a B&E again, I’ll leave you webbed up for GCPD to find.”

“Got it. Sorry.”

Feeling good about himself, and plotting corporate espionage, Spider-Man went to help pry some people from his webs.

And of course, because Parker Luck kicks in only when Spider-Man felt like life was looking up for himself, Spider-Man’s senses blared once more as he knelt down to pull at some webbing.

“Oh, shit!” He heard, right before a cold blast of something slammed right into his head, knocking him out.

And Spider-Man

F

E

L

L.

——

Larry looked at the the empty space where Spider-Man, the guy who took a hit from his boss’ blaster so he wouldn’t get hurt, used to be.

He twisted.

“Boss, what the fuck?!”

“Shit! That was accident!” Boss pulled herself up from the concrete, where she just ate dirt.

“Where did he go?”

“I don’t know, Larry! That was the experimental warped mode! Crap!” His boss scrambled with the controls, desperately trying to see if the magic gun her magician friend had handed her years ago had a reverse button. It didn’t.

“Why would you bring a test weapon into the field?!”

“I gave you all of my other ones!” She threw up her hands. “Fuck, I feel so bad.”

Larry paled. “Dude, Dare Devil’s gonna kill us.”

“He doesn’t kill!” His boss hesitated. “I think.”

Larry pointed to the empty space. “Yeah? He might start with us. Spidey was a cool guy and you just disappeared him!”

“I know!”

Larry buried his head into his hands and tried not to hate himself for the entire situation.

——

Spider-man woke up, laid flat on the grimy ground of an alleyway.

“Ugh. Just my luck.” He kept his eyes closed for just a beat longer to allow himself time before having to pull his shit together. Why was his voice high? And a bit squeaky? He pulled himself together.

“Okay.” He whispered to himself, before sitting up and taking stock of the situation.

First thing that hit him was that it stunk to high heavens. Gagging, Spider-Man looked to the right and- yeah, that’ll do it. He stood up on wobbly legs to try to move away from the overflowing dumpster.

That’s when the second, more important and decidedly more troublesome, observation hit him.

He’s short. Shorter. And his suit was hanging off of him.

He could tell he still had his normal by now physiology, with the speeding heartbeat and the feeling of super strength. But he’s shorter. With a mounting sense of equal parts dread and resignation, he pulled at the hidden seam by his nape, relying on his both his enhanced senses and spidey-sense to tell if anyone was nearby or looking at him. He pulled the Spider-Man suit off, blankly folding it neatly as he stared dumbly at his hands. They’re small too. Shit. He stumbled to a nearby mud puddle and stared down, seeing his younger face in the contaminated water. Double shit.

He’s starting to loose his composure. He’d gone through a lot of bizarre things over the last eight years. But getting accidentally Detective Conan’ed by a person he just helped was a new low.

The black under layer of his suit, a slash proof and fire resistant polymer Peter had designed himself in MIT’s lab, was in a similar state.

With one hand, Peter Parker numbly rolled up his sleeves and pant hems. Great. Okay. Now what?

Ah. Shoes. He did not want to walk around in his too-big Spider-Man boots. He looked around. Well, there’s the laces of what looked to be like a pair of dumpster shoes. “Yeah, no.”

Shit. Does he still have access to his hammer space?

Peter reached into his pocket, and tried to reach for a pair of normal sneakers. His shoulder slumped as he produced a pair. Fuck yes. He still has access! And shoes! They’re ones he took off of a power line for a well off kid who didn’t want it anymore. He was going to donate them to F. E. A. S. T. but he’s thanking the stars he procrastinated a bit on swinging by the center. He put them on. They’re a bit big, but it’s better than the giant-in-comparison ones he normally wears. You know, as an adult.

He hesitated with his mask. He should at least figure out where he is. He hoped it was still in the states. His mask blinked, the HUD in his lenses informing him that it was trying to find a connection. “That’s weird.” He paused, grimacing at the sound of his voice. But it is weird, because he had his mask automatically connected to the world wide satellites Tony Stark had sent circling the globe for citizens without internet access as a back up option. So either he was somewhere even the Stark Satellites couldn’t reach or…

Peter swallowed, his mask pinging as it found a connection to piggy back on. He clicked his tongue twice to activate the voice controls.

“Connect to the local maps. Where am I?”

His masked followed the order. [Gotham. New Jersey.]

Peter stared at the words, gut churning.

Good news, he was still in the States. Bad news? He’s shrunk, in a totally different state, and possibly in a different world because he’s not connected to the Stark Satellites he knew operated in New Jersey.

Peter Parker tilted his head back and allowed himself one verbal, panic level six and up, curse word.

“Fuck.”

He took off his mask and leaned against a slightly cleaner part of the wall before hyperventilating.

——

Half an hour later, Peter smacked himself on the cheeks and pulled himself together.

“You’re Spider-Man,” he hissed to himself. “Have a mental breakdown somewhere warm, you dumbass.”

Peter Parker was a champion, world class expert at compartmentalization.

He slipped his mask back on, and pulled up his “So You’re Stuck in an Alternate Universe” list he had made with Ned so many years ago when they were high school kids and going through comic books to make contingencies because Peter was a little idiot vigilante hero.

“I didn’t think I’d actually ever need this kind of thing.” Peter muttered. He slipped his black back up gloves on to connect to his mask’s display in order to type.

“Okay,” he glanced at the side by side screens in his lenses. “Money.”

Five things.

1) The emergency cash he’d stashed on him thankfull matched the pictures of cash he’d found on this world’s internet. Yay!

2) He had $1000 tucked away. Not yay. Not if this might be a long term stay before he got back to his own dimension. Not if he wanted a place to sleep.

3) Luckily, thanks to his earlier search of where the hell he was, Peter figured out that due to the high crime rates- “Dang, that’s worse than New York on New Year’s Eve,” he had marveled- Gotham was dirt cheap and that that meant 1k dollars could actually last him a while and he could afford a room for a month on $250. A whole ass apartment for $550. Peter seriously considered staying in this universe just for the rent prices. So what if there’s rampant crimes? He’d deal with it if the rent was that cheap.

4) Problem? He’s fucking tiny. Who would rent to a person that looked like child? Not anyone upstanding, that’s for sure. He’s more likely to get mugged. Counterpoint: he’s in a city where apparently shady people are all around. Also? He doesn’t have an identity.

5) If the fact that he couldn’t connect to the Stark Satellites didn’t convince him he was either in another universe or an alternate dimension, the visual graphics of the websites he visited would. It was like looking at Windows in the early way before Stark Co. bought them out and improved the design. Nauseating.

Okay, so, money’s not too urgent of an issue. Next on Ned’s list: Places of Interest.

Namely, libraries, homeless shelters, crime hotspots, and the like.

Peter snorted when he came across an opinions article talking about how Park Row became Crime Alley. And then he frowned, because that story was not painting this place to be even remotely nice. Then again, considering the crime rates and the various Rogues this place seemed to have in spades, that wasn’t much of a surprise. Peter marks the place in his new mental map of Gotham as a potential area he could either disappear to or get a new identity at. He then marked the libraries, Gotham City Public Library and its many branches all funded by generous donations from a Bruce Wayne, the Martha Wayne foundations’ shelters and charities, two supermarkets near the library, and a coffee shop he thought looked warm and cozy from the shitty pictures they have uploaded online. He needed coffee, dammit, and he needed it hours ago. Alas, he probably wouldn’t get to go to one until he secured his finances.

Well, it’s not like he doesn’t have practice being poor.

3) Which brings him up to Ned’s next, surprisingly reasonable for a teenager hoped up on a mountain load of sugar, point. Level of Tech.

Peter hid next to the dumpster, melding in with the shadows, as he continued his research.

Tech here was… well, he probably wouldn’t have to worry. The thought of not having a Starkphone, even his older model, was painful considering the new versions of these WaynePhones were really… behind. Peter doesn’t remember the last time he had buttons on his phone or let alone a touch screen that didn’t use facial tracking and biometrics or even have a holographic display mode.

“Ugh. Okay. Not the end of the world, Parker.” Peter muttered.

Now… People of Interest.

This was underlined three times with Ned’s red pens, with extensive subcategories.

Subcategory A? Villains, because “what if they put out a warning for a known villain and you get your butt kicked because you didn’t know about them, Peter? Wouldn’t that be embarrassing?”

He had replied, half focused on the list and the other on savoring the Millennium Falcon Lego set May had saved up for months to get him for his birthday, “I feel like if I was getting my butt kicked by a villain, I’d probably have better things to worry about than my utter humiliation, Ned.”

“True that,” Ned had snicked and jotted it down anyways.

And… well, Gotham had a lot of villains. The Joker (ew, that’s a crusty man in crustier face paint. This guy could learn so much from the cool mimes busking in Central Park. Like, how to do face paint. Or how not to be a massive murderous jerk. There’s Clayface, Two-Face, a bald guy in “Metropolis” (a name Peter couldn’t help but snort at because a city named city? That’s like na’an bread being bread bread. Or chai tea being tea tea) named Lex Luthor, and Scarecrow. He tabbed all of them and marked them for further perusal at a later date. From experience, he knew villains with a prominent M.O. and themes usually did more damage. Case in point: Rhino, and the million dollars of property damage the guy did everytime he escaped the Raft. Peter was seriously considering petitioning for the Raft to be placed further out just so he could have more warning the next time some assholes decided to free the prisoners and helped them escape.

He narrowed his eyes at the screen, his mask’s lenses following the movement. He’ll have to pick up a gas mask. Apparently bio-weapons are just a regular thing here and he really didn’t want to get dosed with this “fear toxin.” It’d be dangerous for everyone involved. Maybe if he gets his hands on a sample, he could build up tolerance and see how his immune system and metabolic rates affected the normal progression of the toxin. Ah, off topic. He’s gotta focus.

Subcategory B: Local celebrities.

“Why would I need to know local celebrities?” He’d asked.

“If someone came up to you and asked “Who’s Tony Stark?”, wouldn’t you clock that as super weird? You gotta blend in, Peter. Plus, you gotta keep up with the pop culture, dude. It’s important.”

“You just want alternate universe memes,” Peter grinned.

“That too. If you ever go to an alternate universe and come back, you’d better bring me a truckload of memes or I’ll never forgive you.”

Yeah. So. Wayne? Super important. Like Tony Stark levels of important. He found threads about them and the local vigilantes and their charity works. Peter’s brain instantly catalogued the info, all but memorizing the deluge of pictures he found of Bruce Wayne and his kids. Maybe the man had an adoption problem? Conspiracy threads and memes popped up alongside his research. He tabbed one on secret societies, because as Spiderman, he had fought a disturbing amount of secret societies that, on hindsight, had been theorized about on threads he’s read on his free time. Somehow, somewhere, somewhen, a conspiracy theorist could be right. Peter’s not about to dismiss that. He also saved like thirty different memes to send to Ned when he got back. If he got back.

Peter smacked that thought away. He’ll get back to his city or die trying.

Subcategory C, underlined and starred: Other Superheroes and Vigilantes.

Yeah, Peter’s excited about this one too. After Matt stopped being Dare Devil (but did he actually ever stop?) and Wade dipping in and out of NY, Peter’s gotten lonely as Spider-Man. He missed training with them. Of course, the fantastic four were still operating, but he doesn’t actually interact with them or the Avengers at all. Miles hasn’t been cleared (by his mom) to go out as Spiderman with near as many hours as Peter cleared a night. Peter stood behind that because he remembered how horrible it was to work as Spiderman and try to balance school on top of it. Also, he was terrified of Mrs. Morales and would never endanger her son more than he already does. He did wave to Black Widow from a rooftop once, spider to spider, and that was pretty much the coolest moment of his life.

So. Uh. The amount of vigilantes and heroes in this world? Amazing. In Gotham? There’s like, a whole team of them.

Batman, Nightwing (who, Username: Draken Draken had theorized, was the first iteration of Batman’s sidekick Robin), Red Hood, Black Canary, Huntress, Red Robin, Spoiler, the “day vigilante” Signal, the current Robin, and whispers of a “Black Bat.”

And their unfortunate “No Meta” rule with the singular exception of Signal. Peter figured their term of Meta was essentially the same thing as his world’s mutants. He’s not sure which term he liked more. Eh, he’ll worry about that later.

And there’s a Justice League! Which, to Peter, is just a bigger Avengers. There’s aliens on this world too. Superman. Martian Manhunter.

Peter grinned from his place crouched next to the dumpster. Yeah, this is awesome. He quickly memorized everything he could find, cross referencing posts and picking out the nuggets of truth or at least popular truth from the posts he viewed. Like, Red Hood operated in Crime Alley and was a crime boss with morals. Cool.

He’ll go down the spiral later. He mentally thanked Ned who was the best guy in the chair a teenage vigilante could ask for. He should really text his friend when he got back.

For now, he’ll head to the library and see if he could use their computers. He might need a card though… Peter quickly pulled up the search engine and found an Internet cafe. Ah, 24 hour internet cafes, the savior of his college days. There first, and then library, Peter decided. He memorized the instructions and pulled his mask off, tucking it away in the hammer space.

He walked out the alley and turned left, only to double take at his reflection in a shop window that was partially boarded up. Holy shit, he’s a baby. He’s like. 10!

Oh my god.

Peter twitched, tearing himself away from the window before the shop owner decided he was less curious and more potential mugger before promptly remembering that he looked less of a threat than ever. Mixed feelings.

Peter hurried his way to the internet cafe, paying the guy at the front a little extra so he’d ignore the obvious minor without a guardian thing Peter hasn’t gotten used to. Ugh. That was going to be annoying. He only paid for two hours and pulled up as many listings for a room as possible. By the end of it, he came out with $1 worth of fliers printed out and having funneled some billionaire’s offshore accounts into a new bank account he’d made by hacking into the bank servers. Does he feel bad about stealing? Yeah. But Peter’s a vigilante. He’s done worse than nabbing a monthly sum of a couple of hundreds from Lex Luthor’s off shore accounts. He’s not gonna get caught, and considering the guy’s rants on meta humans, Peter’s not feeling particularly guilty about it. He’ll do something good later to make up for it. Once he gets his footholds and can prepare his way back, he’ll even return to the rest of the money. Probably.

Peter left the cafe with his sheaf of flyers, stopping by an informational stand with free tourist maps and plucked one quickly from its plastic holder. He’ll pick something up from the food vendors on his way to the apartments. Peter began walking, taking in the sights of the gargoyles and-

“Nope!” He caught the wrist of a pickpocket. It’s a kid and he immediately felt bad.

“Lemme go. I ain’t done nothing to ya, ya Yorker tourist.”

“Okay,” Peter shrugged. “Don’t get caught the next time?”

The kid gaped at him. “Shi’, you must be really good at it. I’ve never been caught before.”

Peter wisely refrained from telling the kid it was due to his spidey-sense. He let go of the kid’s wrist and let a bit more of his accent out. “Why’d you need money anyways?”

“Food, duh.”

“Dude, I’m starving. Tell you what. You show me the best sub shop nearby and I’ll pay for your food. Deal?”

The kid stared at him, wide eyed. “You’re fuckin’ nuts. Why’re you being nice?”

“I’m hungry? Do we have a deal, kid?”

“… Fuck it. Fine. And don’t call me kid, shrimp. You’re like what, eight?”

Oh. Yeah. Peter’s a kid now. He shrugged.

“I’m older than you. I’m twelve.”

Peter blinked, frowning at how thin the kid’s wrists were.

“I’m Peter!”

“… Frank.”

He let Frank lead the way. Stranger danger doesn’t apply to him, he’s a grown ass man. In the body of a ten year old him, but still. A couple of minutes, four sandwiches and a load of chips later, Frank was watching wide eyed as he demolished three four dollar subs.

“Holy shit. Where are you packing that away? You’re a stick!”

Peter took a big bite of the sandwich as an answer. Frank looked down at his meal.

“Uh. Hey.”

Peter made a muffled noise of question, mouth stuffed full of steak and cheese.

“Sorry about. Uh. Trynna nick from ya.”

Peter chewed faster.

Frank continued, looking like he hated himself. “I wouldn’t… normally steal from shrimps like you but I was desperate and… really hungry, so. My bad.”

Peter finished chewing. “All good, dude. Eat your sandwich.”

Peter had the sudden urge to adopt Frank. Unlike Wayne, he’s not a billionaire, so he smacked that urge down. He could use a friend though. Now… how to be friends with a literal child!

“If you feel that bad about it, you could… be my friend?”

Peter took in the wide eyed gaze from the twelve year old in front of him. Abort! Abort! That was too direct!

“You’re fucking weird. But… okay.”

“That was easy.”

Frank scowled, kicking Peter’s shin.

“Ow!”

“Whatever, shrimp.”

Peter scowled. On his baby face, it came out as a pout.

Do not start beef with a twelve year old, Peter. You’re a grown ass adult.

“Hey, you know I’m new here, right?”

“Duh.” Frank took a bite of his food.

“Can you tell me which one of these are legit?” Peter handed Frank the flyers. He took them, an odd look passing his face.

“You’re looking for a place?”

“Yeah? Why?”

Frank stared at him. Looked back down. He instantly got rid of four listings out of the ten. “These are too close to the Alley. They’re probably traffickers.”

Peter hummed in agreement. Frank paused.

“You’re just gonna trust me on that?”

“Yeah? I can tell when people are lying.” Well, his spidey sense could, when he cared enough about the subject.

“What the fuck.” Frank shoved the rest the papers at him and guiltily munched on his food. “Are Yorkers all just like you?”

“Dunno? Probably not.”

“… Whatever. The rest of the places should work. They probably won’t ask questions.” Frank flapped a hand at Peter’s new situation. Yeah, the shortness was getting to him too.

Peter nodded. Obviously, they were the more expensive places, but considering the new found resources he’d… acquired during his time at the cafe, it doesn’t really matter.

“Cool! Wanna go see it with me?”

Frank immediately took on a suspicious glare. “Why?”

“I dunno? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought since you know your way around…”

“Ugh. Fine. But if there’s anything shady, I’m fucking dipping out.”

“Okay!” Peter grinned for the first time the couple of hours he’d been trapped in this new world.

——

They’d found an apartment with a landlord that got a weird, sad face when she was talking to them about the apartment. After like, an hour of walking around and Peter’s spidey sense screaming at him not to even go near the places Frank had left in the pile of maybe’s.

“We walked all the way here. Ya not even gonna go in?”

“The vibes are off. It’s a no.”

And because Peter’s a genius idiot with no self preservation, he’d marked the places to investigate later.

Frank had blinked at him, mildly offended and nonplussed. After a while of spluttering, he just gave up. Eventually, they got here.

“I don’t normally rent to kids,” the landlord lady said. Peter immediately liked her. “But I’ll make an exception if you’ve got the cash.”

“I’d like to see the unit first, please” Peter said. He’s not stupid, and Gotham’s renting scene is both easier and harder than New York.

They toured it. Peter? He’d seen worse. He’d lived worse. Also, it had two bedroom and was $620. Yeah, Peter was really considering just staying here full time and commuting to his New York when he wanted to be a vigilante.

“I’ll take it, ma’am.” The landlord and Frank both snorted, sharing a Gothamite look.

“It’s Georgie, to you, brat. You just need the first month’s rent, since I’ll wave the deposit for you shrimps. Utilities included. Your friend stayin’?”

“No-” Frank had started.

“Yep!” Peter beamed, interrupting his new friend.

“What?” Frank turned, gaping again at this weird little kid who had enough money to rent a place and then invited a whole ass street kid he just met to live with him. “Are you stupid?! What if I rob you? Huh? I don’t need charity!”

Peter slowly looked around the empty unit.

“Uh.”

“No, that’s not the point!” Frank pointed a finger at Peter. “That’s how you get yourself killed!”

“But that’s why you should stay! I don’t know my way around Gotham so…”

Peter looked up at Frank, using his shortness for maximum devastation. “Please?”

Georgie leaned back on the heels of her feet, silently laughing. It’s not every day she sees a Gothamite street kid get out stubborned by an outsider, but she knows better than anyone that Gotham is weak to genuine kindness. And this Peter kid, the one that reminds her so much of her own? He’s practically filled with it.

“Yeah, kid,” she said to Frank, snickering. “Look at him. He’s gonna get mugged two steps into the Alley. Or anywhere.”

Frank flailed, but eventually, Peter handed over the money to an amused Georgie who gave them two keys in return and a move in gift of a pot pie.

“I gotta. Uh. Go get my stuff.” Frank had mumbled, dazed at whatever the hell just happened.

“Okay! I’ll see if I can go get furniture!”

“And lift them with your shrimpy arm? You wish.”

“I can use a cart.”

And really, he could, because Gotham had a lot of abandoned carts laying around. Like a concerning amount.

“Can you even reach the handle?”

“I’m not that short!”

Frank snorted, Georgie’s own chuckles following a beat after. Peter scowled at them.

“Be right back,” Frank promised, holding the key like it was treasure. He had been homeless for two and a half years now, so in his eyes, that key was as good as gold. He had somewhere warm to stay. Trying to pickpocket Peter was the best mistake he’s ever made in his short life. But he didn’t want to take advantage of that, well, no, he did want to, but he doesn’t want to take the genuine kindness for granted so he’ll see if there’s any street furniture he could haul back on his way.

“Okay!”

Georgie watched him go and turned to Peter.

“If you need stuff, there’s a thrift store and a grocery store that way.” She gave him the directions.

——

As soon as Frank and Georgie left, Peter immediately left his new place (and holy shit, he really didn’t expect things to be this easy. In New York, he had to spend at least a week checking out places because he had to figure out whether the problem that cause subtle twinges with his spider sense was worth living with. Here? It’s too obvious.) to buy supplies. He had $400. Until his new card came in, at least. He’d put his new address into that bank account addressed to a “Anthony Benjamin” before ordering a “replacement card.”

Peter ran to the thrift store, hurrying before the last traces of the sun dipped below the smog of Gotham. A frankly absurd amount of blankets, towels, pillows, clothes, packaged boxers, socks and shoes around his size went into the cart. To his chagrin, Peter couldn’t actually see much over the cart. Why the hell was he such a short ten year old? He blasted through the store, also guesstimating Frank’s sizes. He tossed in curtains, a used set of glow in the dark stars, and a lamp.

He also grabbed mismatched mugs, bowls, a bundle of cutlery, and a dented microwave he casually pretended to struggle getting onto the bottom part of the cart. It’s like lifting grapes for him, but he looks like a ten year old so…

He, guiltily, bought a mildly fancy camera in a set, with two separate lenses, even if one was cracked.

Not bad, for $150 total. Peter is going to definitely seriously consider commuting to New York. They didn’t even care when he walked out with the cart! Well, that might be because of the cashier who gave him a pitying glance.

He stopped by a general store on the way back, parking his cart in a rapidly shadowy alleyway. He swung by the new section of the store that reminded him of a Dollar Tree and got cleaning supplies, toiletries, and two pans and a pot. He grabbed some canned food and a couple of frozen meals in the back. Seasonings, ramen, general pantry staples went in. A role of paper towel. Nice. Venom would have loved this store. With half of his budget blown for essentials, Peter quickly cut his spending off and

He quickly gathered his stuff and went back to the apartment, using his strength a bit to lift the full cart up the stairs at the front doors and into the elevator. It creaked like the first time they used it to go see the apartment, but it worked. Peter set everything up in the living room, pillow and blanket wise, and put everything in its proper place. The lamp was put up, giving more light than the old bulb in the ceiling light.

All Peter wanted to do was pass out, but since his dumbass took in a child, he couldn’t sleep until this place was relatively fit for a kid to live in. He also wanted to wait for

So, that’s what he did. Taking a sponge and the cleaning supplies he’d picked up earlier, Peter tackled the living room, scrubbing away at old stains and spraying mildew. He marked trouble spots- like that splinter worthy piece of floor next to the doorway leading to the hall between the bedrooms. Then the kitchen. By the time Frank cautiously peeked his head in from the front door, Peter had already finished scrubbing the over.

“Hey.”

Peter turned, grime on his face but grinning. “Hey!” I bought some stuff!”

Frank snorted at his face before glancing around the living room, eyeing the cart parked neatly on the side.

“So you did. Didn’t get mugged, did ya?”

“Rude. No, of course not.”

Frank gave him a… frankly… unimpressed look and dumped his bag next to the pile of blankets and pillows Peter had piled onto the floor. Sue hi’, they didn’t have beds yet.

“Got somethin’ for ya,” Frank said neutrally before dragging in…

“A coffee table!” Peter bounced towards Frank, hugging him before lugging in the heavy wooden table in. “You’re the best! Where’d you find it?!”

The tension, anxiety about Peter’s reaction, in Frank’s shoulders relaxed and the kid grinned. “Alley. Some asshole just left it there for anyone to hit with their car so I took it.”

“Nice! We can eat on this!”

——

When they were getting ready for bed, Peter insisting on showers for both of them, Frank had reared up at the clothes Peter bought for him. Peter pretended like he didn’t see anything and shove a whole tube of toothpaste and a new toothbrush at him.

“Ew. Do I have to?” Frank asked, wrinkling his nose but taking the items anyways.

“Yeah.” Peter said seriously. Frank gave a moment to wonder why he was taking orders from an eight year old before shrugging. He could brush his teeth in exchange for a roof over his head, food, and clothes. It’s not even a fair trade, for Peter, anyways. Frank was enough of an alley rat to take advantage of that.

——

When Frank passed out, Peter couldn’t sleep. He’s exhausted, but he couldn’t sleep.

So he took his new camera and climbed the fire escape to the roof top.

An hour later, he met his first vigilante.

“Hey, kiddo. I’m gonna need you to back away from the edge.”

“Woah!” Peter startled, jolting slightly off of the ledge he was balanced on. He twisted around to see Red Robin, hand outstretched and panicked look in his eyes.

“Dude. Warn a guy!” Peter said, even though his spider sense warned him of an approaching person that was actively watching him.

Red Robin held his hands up. “My bad. Would you- uh, not be on that ledge?”

“Yeah, sure. My bad, bro.” Peter obligingly stood up and stepped away from the ledge. Red Robin relaxed then did a double take. Peter frowned. Is there something on his face?

“What are you doing up here, kiddo? It’s late.”

Peter decided to scope out the vigilante. “Couldn’t sleep,” he held up his camera. “I’m taking pictures.”

“Oh. That’s cool! Can I see?” Red Robin approached warily, but relaxed when Peter didn’t spook and try to take a shortcut to ground floor.

“Sure! It’s a new, well, not new but new to me, camera so I haven’t had all that time to mess with the specs but the pictures turned out pretty good-”

“Oh, woah. This one’s great. That composition? Amazing. You caught the light perfectly,” Red Robin complimented. Peter brightened, knowing a photography fan when he hears one.

“Photography buddy!” He cheered.

They talked for an hour after that, but Red Robin quickly sent him to bed once he remembered the time.

“Ah, shi- crap. It’s like 2AM. You’ve gotta go to bed.”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry if I interrupted your patrol, Mr. Red Robin!”

“No problem, kid.” Peter slipped back down the fire escape, not caring if the vigilante saw where he lived.

——

Up on the rooftop, Red Robin pressed a hand to his comm.

“Red Robin to Nightwing.”

“What’s up, Red?”

“Do you have a kid you don’t know about?” Tim said, bluntly.

“… What?”

“Oracle, can you share my cowl footage?”

“Copy. Oh, that kid…”

“Looks exactly like Wing?” Tim said, peering down at the empty fire escape. “Yeah. Talked like him too.”

“Oh my god, he’s adorable.” Oracle said. Tim agreed. That curly hair? Baby face? Adorable. A bean. “Did you get DNA?”

“Ah, shit, I knew I forgot something.”

“Do not break into his place and nab a hair,” Nightwing reprimanded, but his voice sounded distracted.

“Holy shit, you guys nerded out about camera placement and lighting for an hour?” Hood piped up.

“Get some rest, Red Robin. You’ve been working too hard,” Batman grunted through the comms. Awkward… but he’s been getting better at communicating his worry for his kids.

“Sure thing, B. Heading back to the main cave. Red Robin out.

——

Peter: lay low and get home

Also Peter: talks to a vigilante

None of them think Peter’s Nightwing’s yet. Peter will know before them… eventually. Once this world’s version of him gives up his memories to be absorbed by AU Peter.

[moon-alight]

Hii! Can I ask for a Nicholas drabble? Him wanting you to pay attention to him instead of the movie you are watching and his hands start getting all over you , please?

I need all of you to be a bit more obvious if you want me to write smut because I can't take hints. So, this is a fluff drabble... I hope this is what you wanted. If not, leave another ask and I'll deliver. :)

Attention - &Team Nicholas

Synopsis: You are watching a movie with your boyfriend but end up in a bit of a situation.

Warnings: fluff, attention whore Nicholas, afab reader, hints of smut but not really. I guess it's sort of like 16+ but don't expect too much. I really don't know how to explain this.

Word Count: 780

Masterlist

It is one of the only times you get the dorms to yourself. The boys are mainly all out for the day, visiting Lotte World together. You and Nicholas decided to stay home, finally getting a bit of time together and since both of you are too lazy to go out, you settled for a movie.

While everyone else had already watched Spiderman No Way Home, you hadn't. You were always busy but now, nothing was stopping you from seeing the three spiderman's come together on the screen. Well, one thing is stopping you.

"I have seen this seven times already." Nicholas groans, sitting back. It wasn't the first time he had been complaining during the 30 minutes the movie had been going on for. He has been working your system constantly.

"Well, I haven't." You reply, reaching for more popcorn. Nicholas decided to be a bit more patient seeing as you had wanted to watch this movie ever since it came out in theaters a year ago. But he just couldn't.

"Baby." He says softly, looking at you. Your attention is completely on the screen, so absorbed in the story already. "Baaaabyyyyy." He drags out dramatically but you don't budge. As if you don't even hear him. He leans a little closer and starts poking you with every word he says. "Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby--"

"Stop it, Nicholas." You reply, pushing his hands away. Your boyfriend sits back with his arms crossed over his chest and a big pout on his lips and you don't even spare him a glance. He's moody. Very moody. How dare you to ignore your precious, hard-working, amazingly talented, handsome boyfriend? He thinks.

"I know you love Spiderman but... I thought you'd love me more." He mumbles. He figures, if he plays this well enough, you would feel bad and give him all the attention in the world.

"Hey, if Peter Parker decides to show up at my front door one day, I'd definitely go with him." Well, that wasn't the answer he was expecting.

"WHAT?!" Nicholas shouts, you shush him, continuing to pay attention to the movie. "What do you mean you'd leave me? Don't you know how many girls would kill to be with me and you're not even in love with me anymore."

"Who said I'm not in love? I love you more than anything, you know that." You reply, matter-of-factly.

"I'm starting to doubt that right now." Nicholas mutters to himself while continuing to pout. Not even five minutes pass before he starts trashing. "BABYYYY!"

"Nico, please." You reply annoyed. A sudden smirk appears on his face. You had just given him the perfect idea. You will beg for him later... he's sure of it. After being together for 5 months, he definitely knows your body enough to make you aching for him with just some 'innocent' touches.

The movie goes on, you gasp when Andrew Garfield appears on the screen. You knew he's be in it but you're still so overwhelmed. Nicholas takes this oportunity to scoot a little closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist. You figure he's finally over it and just wants to cuddle, oh how wrong you are.

When Tobey appears, you scream. A literal fan-girl scream. Again, Nicholas smirks. He can make you scream much louder in many different ways. His 'innocent' hand on your waist moves down a little, drawing figures on your clothed hips with his fingers. You cuddle into him more, not thinking anything of his touches until you feel his hand inch closer to your core.

His fingers start drawing figures on your thighs, and suddenly you're incapable of focusing on the movie and you become aware of the arousal that's building up inside of you and starts showing through your panties.

You know what he is doing but you won't let him win that easily. You waited a year to watch this movie, you're gonna finish it too. You look at the screen, trying your best to pay attention when you feel Nicholas' fingers brush your clothed clit for only a brief moment. You gasp softly, body tensing as your desire to want more grows.

"What's wrong, baby?" Nicholas asks innocently as if he isn't the one distracting you majorly right now. He leans closer, his lips right next to your ear. "You wanted to watch the movie, so keep watching it." And just like that, all his touches disappear and he sits back in the spot he sat before. You stare at him dumbfounded.

"Nico--"

"Just watch the movie, baby." He smirks as he says it, knowing what he has done. "Just watch the movie."

[irondad-defensesquad]

as someone who loves the sam raimi spider-man movies... i honestly DON'T want a spider-man 4.

so many spider-man fans wholeheartedly believe they're going to get a fourth raimi film, or TASM 3. to be fair, i'm not against andrew's spidey coming back. his films had a lot of potential (and the first one is great!), and he's a great peter parker imo.

but even then, i'm just... why? why can't ppl move on? the fun about spider-man is that it has so many different adaptations and different spider-people - especially miles who's finally getting the spotlight on the big screen. as much as i like tobey and andrew, i'm sick of ppl demanding their return. AGAIN. they got no way home and they still aren't satisfied with it.

and although i will always hate nwh, i also have the impression that tobey's and andrew's roles were more of a homage to the old days, so they came back one last time to help tom. i mean, i think the concept on paper is cool, too bad it pushes tom aside. still, it's been so many years, why does everyone insist tobey and/or andrew are the "only true spider-men"? there's not a PERFECT spider-man. they're all unique in their own ways. if you personally resonate with tobey and/or andrew, that's cool. but you have to respect that things change and spider-man is a hero that means different things to many ppl. that's what spider-verse explores.

when i was a kid, i did want spider-man 4 to happen. i get why some ppl don't want their childhood hero to be played by someone else. i remember being disappointed when TASM was first announced. but i think spider-man homecoming helped me accept other versions, ones that are fresh and more relatable to younger audiences. and spider-verse then opened my mind. i didn't even know miles before i saw the teaser. i was so excited! and i was not disappointed.

i mean, i think spider-verse is universally beloved in the spidey fandom, but mcu peter still gets the short end of the stick, which sucks. i'm so tired of ppl pitting the live action spideys against each other, especially to shit on mcu peter. it just feels too mean-spirited to me and it frustrates me that ppl have an unhealthy attachment to the older films.

besides, with all the bad reboots we've been getting, do you REALLY want them to ruin your childhood films? i think it's best to just let them go. or just watch the movies when you miss them.

[emisirrelevant]

My MCU Phase 4 MOVIE Ranking 

Since MCU Phase 4 has come to a close, and I just watched Black Panther Wakanda Forever, I am going to give my ranking- did anyone need this? No. But I'm the one voluntarily choosing to state my opinions online.

DISCLAIMERS: not ranking the shows, just the movies- maybe I'll do a separate post for the shows?

I thought about it but I will be mentioning spoilers. I didn't know how else to rank them without using evidence from the films to back up my justifications.

The movies aren't in position of best-worst or anything like that, they are only just listed in the order they were released.

Okay, let's get into it.

Black Widow:

7/10, or maybe even 8/10 for me. Overall, I personally thought it was decent. I know there were a LOT of people who gave it negative reviews. I remember seeing so many bad things about it from people when it came out. But honestly, is it the worst thing Marvel has made? Imo, no. I won't get into the nitty gritty, or the Taskmaster stuff, but I liked getting to see Natasha again- even though we know this was before she died. And Florence Pugh as Yelena stole the show for me. Black Widow is (was?) also one of my favorite Avengers, so I personally have a soft spot in my heart.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings:

8/10 or maybe 8.5/10 for me. I am hesitant to push it toward a 9/10. Here's why and let me explain. I am aware that some people are THIRSTY for Tony Leung. I don't understand that, however it's your life, not mine. BUT I will say he did a damn good job being a complex character. I don't like him for giving Shang Chi trauma, but I think he did good being morally gray. Even though I got frustrated as F sometimes with his character. Shang Chi I actually liked. His dynamic with Katy? Great. I like Awkwafina tbh. Xu Xialing being the badass sister? Iconic. Although I hope she doesn't turn evil based off that post credit scene (another reason why I'm hesitant to give it a 9/10- I just want her to be good okay? Can't have TOO many morally complex people) The cinematography was great. Finally, as someone who is Asian (specifically Chinese0 but I was adopted) the Asian representation was decent. You know, it wasn't anything super mold breaking but for big names like Disney and Marvel, I give a nod.

Eternals:

3/10 or 4/10 at MOST. I honestly don't even remember most of this movie. I didn't even really have many expectations going into it, but.. yeah let's just say it was not my favorite. I didn't really like Sersi and Icarus together. I honestly felt like their characters were boring tbh. Druig and Makkari though? That's the REAL ship. And representation for the deaf! It's a start! Also, I will be crying eternally over Gilgamesh dying. The one thing about the plot that mainly interested me was Dane Whitman. I admit I am interested in seeing how the Black Knight storyline will be explored further. Other than that, Eternals was not really a memorable MCU film for me.

Spiderman No Way Home:

A solid 8/10. I think we can all agree this one was the MOST hyped up movie from Phase 4. Like ever. The hype was so real. I LIVED through it all. What a world to live in. Everyone was avoiding spoilers left and right. Anyway. I DID like the film overall since it continued the storyline of Peter's identity being discovered, and a bit of Dr. Strange's storyline. Obviously, the cameo from Tobey and Andrew was great to see. Although I admit I did not grow up watching Tobey and Andrew's versions of Spiderman, I felt the kind of "magic" experience of seeing the original folks back on screen permeate through me. HOWEVER. The only reason I cannot score this one any higher is because I didn't like the ending. I haven't really seen much and it has been a while, but do others hate the ending? What is the universal opinion? I may just look it up on a Reddit thread later. Anyway, I personally didn't like that ending. Why would you do the memory wipe trope??? I mean, was that actually the ONLY solution to Peter nearly tearing apart the space time continuum and fabric of the universe??? So Ned and MJ are just gonna have to continue on. I can't think about it too much or I may get emo actually. To end it on a good note, it was cool seeing the old villains from the universe as well.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness:

7/10. Yeah. I had to think for a second. But 7/10 feels right for this one. It wasn't really my favorite, but I didn't think it was the worst. And oh god, there seems to be a LOT of controversy around this one. By controversy, I also just mean basically mixed opinions. From what I've seen/heard, people either really hate this one or they're like, alright. It's mid. Also, for a movie that has Doctor Strange in the title, I sure did see the entire world talking mostly about Wanda. I don't know. It feels like this movie was just chaotic? Specifically in terms of the storyline, I mean. Like, I thought it was interesting that this was the movie they decided on to introduce America Chavez into the MCU. I think it could have been easier for people to follow maybe just one major character? So the focus isn't constantly shifting? Maybe that's just me. Also, is Stephen just destined to be alone now? Idk about the comics because I don't really read those, but like, I guess he's never ending up with Christine in any universe. Is the Darkhold like actually destroyed for real? What the fuck is the storyline now?? I've seen/heard rumors of the next movie actually being Dimension of Darkness (hence the post credit scene) but like what would the plot be? Again, I don't read the comics so idk if they touch on that, but yeah Doctor Strange's timeline/story and character arc is just one of the weirdest in the MCU for me I guess.

Thor Love and Thunder:

8/10. Yes, I WILL defend this movie. Despite it being another Phase 4 movie which got crapped on, I liked it. If Thor Love and Thunder has 100 fans, I am one of them. If Thor Love and Thunder has 10 fans, I am one of them. If Thor Love and Thunder has only 1 fan, I am that fan. You get the gist. I think people were just so shocked for once that it wasn't their usual type of superhero movie. First of all, what does that even mean. Just let people enjoy their silly little movies, damn. I will admit, was it the strongest plot? Meh. But I did enjoy the dialogue a lot. I liked seeing Thor, Jane, and Valkyrie again. If you can't even think of Korg without getting offended, then you can just leave. Also, Christian Bale did an amazing job at being a villain. I will give him that. I will say that was one of the highlights of this movie probably tbh. I was so shook. As someone who watched Newsies, I was just like "he was Jack Kelly and now he's this" LOL.

Okay. And I know- most of know by now that Jane died, and some people didn't like that- yeah, I was sad too- but I thought it made sense for her character. Like I said, I'll play the defender. Also, because I thought it was impactful about how it paralleled Gorr and Love's relationship. And it was a metaphor for her going to Valhalla. She died in her OWN battle. But yeah, the storyline now with Thor will be interesting. I wonder what his next adventure will be. And if there's people out there still pressed about this movie, I'll just say I don't think Taiki Waititi cares.

Black Panther Wakanda Forever:

8.5/10. I just recently watched this one and I am still processing it. So I may not have as many fully formed thoughts on this movie compared to the others, but if I were to give keywords, I would say impactful and emotional. I went on Instagram and Twitter and there seems to be a majority of people who liked it. However, the main negatives I saw were issues with Shuri or Riri. Which is a whole discussion within itself. Also the storyline and length. I understand people thinking it dragged on. I went with one of my friends to watch the movie and she told me afterwards it felt a bit long to her. I can get that. But I WOULD argue with you on the cinematography. I thought that visually the film was great. The underwater scenes were fine with me. The costuming as well. I thought it did fine honoring Chadwick Boseman. To those who say it wasn't enough for them though, I just have to ask, ok, what would you have done instead? Like, yeah I saw some people saying Riri shouldn't have been introduced in the movie, and Shuri should have just stayed a scientist. So what would YOU make the storyline? And that's all I have to say on that. Aside from that, the soundtrack was great though. Overall, I think this film was one of the best for me of Phase 4. And it was a beautiful way to end it.

[no-name-nacho-cheese]

IT WAS THE MORE FUN STUFF VERSION!!!

Okay play by play thoughts under the cut bc it's a lot. But overall I still love this movie especially because it hurts. Love the actions and emotion in this movie, I feel like everyone is given a chance to really show off their range of emotion in this at some point. I love a good show that shows off an actors ability to do their job well. I don't really understand why we never got an ASM-3. But also I never watched those movies until before I saw No Way Home the first time.

Everyone is laughing at the expected parts still 2.5 years later

Small claps and cheers for Matt Murdock

I can't stand Stephen strange in this

What gets me SO MAD is that strange just starts casting the spell at a minors will. Also, this man is a 40-50 year old in a MEDICAL FIELD. He should know to take a CASE HISTORY before casting the spell!!!! Then he blames the kid. Count your days Stephen strange. You probably got sued and saved by professional liability insurance at the hospital.

Why does strange still have the eye of agamotto if he doesn't have the time stone?? (Accessorizing)

Clapping for Doc Ock!!!

The admissions lady from MIT had SO MUCH TIME to unbuckle and scooch over to the other side of the car and get out.

Giant cement cylinder: 1

Spidey sense:0

Bluetooth-ass nanotechnology pairing to a new device

People clapping for green goblin!!!

Do you guys think that Columbia alumni otto octavius and curt Conners feel irritated with the trio talking about how great MIT is lol. I can imagine during the montage them going "you know... Columbia is a very good school"

I love the obvious similarities between Norman Obsorn and Bruce Banner, fight me and also ask me more

Conners and doc ock ABSOLUTELY sat and watched as the trio duck taped Peter's smartphone to his suit.

Green goblin's mask eyes being sepia to match the 2000s movies he came from *chefs kiss*

After playing the ps4 spider-man game, I should have known may would die since she works at FEAST

It is absolutely mays fault that she dies and no one remembers Peter. Fight me

The JJJ cutaways following the same pattern as the ps4 podcast is yes

Otto having nothing to do but stand dramatically facing away in his cage

Max would love reddit, specifically the AITA page

Strange talks a lot about sacrifice for others when the most he's sacrificed in his movies is his girlfriend that didn't love him.

HATE strange for destroying the iron spider armor

Seeing the spisey sense wiggles !!!

HOW did they get from greenwich to central park and upper east side in 2 seconds in the mirror dimension

Peter parker 🤝 wanda maximoff "I have it all under control" (while having no clue what they're doing and making things so much worse for themselves)

Sinister 5 wondering why MJ is wearing half a shirt bc they've got no experience with crop tops being popular yet

SANDMAN LOOKING AT THE PICTURE OF MORGAN STARK AND THINKING OF HIS DAUGHTER

Sandman "I don't trust anyone" who trusted Peter immediately and helped him stop max

Otto gets the new chip in his neck and starts singing "If I were a rich man" from Fiddler

Intro to the hybrid nanotechnology suit, my favorite suit to use in the PS4-5 GAMES

Happy Hogan I could never hate you

"Something feels off" Max that's anxiety.

THE APARTMENT BUILDING FIGHT SCENE TAKING CHOREOGRAPHY FROM THE PS4 GAME

Happy hogan crying out for Peter will always get me

Conners only getting one liners lmao

Me hoping May gets out anyways

Sure is a good thing those pumpkin bombs don't turn people into skeletons anymore LMAO

sm nwh, or as I like to call it, the longest and worst 24 hours of Peter parkers life

Sorry, did Ned WATCH strange do that movement

Clapping for Andrew!!!

THE WEBB THEME SONG FOR ANDREW IN THE BACKGROUND

Clapping for Tobey!

ELFMAN THEME SONG FOR TOBEY

In another universe I can see Avengers tower being Peter's safe space but whatever

I can't stand MJ as portrayed by Kirsten dunst. Just yeah

Lmao Ned will be hobgoblin in the future mark my words

Andrew "I want to see the holes" Garfield you will always be famous

Every conversation between the 3 Peter's

Rmemeber when they tried to get people to think it was only Tom Holland in the fight scene in the trailer? Lol (what hit the lizard? Must have been debris)

WHAT IS CONNERS TRYING TO DO TO ANDREW? LICK HIM????? PUT THAT TONGUE AWAY

MICHAEL GIACCHINO FLAWLESSLY COMBINING HIS TWO SCORES FOR DR STRANGE I LOVE YOU

Miles morales mention I love you

Does doc ock have transitions glasses or did he just change sunglasses to signify him not being evil anymore

Andrews Peter dropping it low when landing in front of strange

CLAPPING FOR ANDREW CATCHING MJ

MULTIVERSE!! BLACK CAT, SCORPION, RHINO, KRAVEN, MYSTERIO

this movie is so Stephen strange's fault

The fight being on captain America's shield, another morally righteous hero who will fight people to near death when his loved ones are threatened thank you civil war character foil, I could so talk more about this someone please ask me to.

Nothing I love more than watching a morally good hero fall into hatred and revenge and almost kill someone on a rampage

Tobey let Tom murder green goblin 2k24

Did all the other villains just sit and watch Osborn get the crap beat out of him lmao

Why does Tobey give me Steve from blue clues vibes. Anyone else? No? Okay

Always tempted to leave the movie before the final spell is cast

Wong wouldn't have let this happen if he was around...

The final handshake gets me every time.

People audibly crying at goodbyes

Bye villains! Have fun being cured but going back to right before you died so you die anyways!!!

WHY DIDNT PETWR STAY THERE??? He knew from the get go that he wasn't going to tell them

Whelp time to go read fix it fics!!!

May having the same gravestone as the video game.

I love this movie. Love the end credits scene that WASNT a trailer.

Once again in theatres to watch Spider-Man No Way Home (this will make it 5 times I've seen it in theatres)! Hoping that this is the more fun stuff version!!!!!

[heyitsme1040]

Home [p.p]

summary : You knew your boyfriend was Spider-Man. Anytime he had to protect the city, you would worry. Even when you began to help him from the safety of the Roosevelt train car you were concerned. Every time Peter was about to be in a dangerous situation, he would claim his earpiece was damaged and turn it off. You’d lose your only way of being in contact with him, and were resigned to worrying until he came by your apartment after the battle. After his most recent battle against the Scorpion, you need to patch him up more than usual. You stay calm until you finish bandaging Peter’s injuries, then finally break down. You tell him that you can’t take the worry anymore, and Peter promises to do better by you. The two of you manage to figure out what needs to be done, and fall asleep while the city wakes up.

pairings : TASM!Peter Parker/Reader

warnings : Mentions of injury (mainly bruising and mild burns), kind of angsty until the very end, sappy ending, crying. No use of y/n. If I missed anything please let me know.

word count : 3k

AO3 (x)

a/n : Any Spider-Man fics I write are likely going to be The Amazing Spider-Man based. So while it is Andrew Garfield’s Spider-Man, I’m also using the comic books of tasm as reference material. Maybe later on I’ll do the MCU’s Spider-Man (somehow have still not seen any of the movies and avoided spoilers), and I don’t think I’ll write any focused on Tobey’s Spider-Man because while I grew up on those specific ones they’re more nostalgic than interesting to me at this point.

You dropped a token into the turnstile and rushed through it while taking your backpack off. While the train car came up from the tracks you grabbed the earpiece Peter had given you and put it in. Once the train doors slid open, you rushed in and went to what you had claimed as your workstation.

“Alright, Peter, what’s happening?” You demand as you place your laptop on the counter and log into the system you helped him create.

“I’m almost on scene,” Peter talks over the sound of rushing wind. “Maybe seven blocks out? What do you see?”

“It looks like the police managed to clear out all bystanders. It appears that the Scor–”

“Scorpion!” Peter’s sudden yell has you wincing as you hear the thud of him landing. “What’s the matter? You get lost looking for your burrow?”

“Peter, what are you doing?” Your fingers fly across the keyboard as you try to pull up the traffic cameras feed to see what’s going on.

“Spider-Man, what took you so long?” Scorpion laughed.

You tried to get into the camera feed, but you didn’t have the time to figure out the access code. With a frustrated huff of air, you decided to pull up the news feed that was inevitably covering the scene. From the aerial feed you saw Scorpion’s tail move, revealing a passed out bystander. The spiked club on his tail was hovering over their head and was aimed at your boyfriend. Acid dripped out, narrowly missing the head of his hostage and melting through the street below with ease.

“Peter, you need to be careful. His suit’s different, and it looks like his acid is stronger,” you warned.

“What do you want, Scorpion?” Peter called with his hands moving in a manner to show he didn’t want any trouble.

“You’ve been making things very difficult for us.” Scorpion raised his tail and drew it back, “So we decided to start making things more difficult for you.”

Scorpion whipped his tail forward, releasing the unconscious man toward Peter. You watched as Peter caught the man and took the impact of them crashing into a nearby building. Peter emerged with the hostage, and swung him behind the police line before returning to where Scorpion was waiting. As he approached, Scorpion launched himself at Peter and sent them crashing into another building.

“Peter, you need to try and lead him out of the city,” you desperately instructed.

The only response you heard was a groan and more crashing, the news feed unable to capture what was happening inside. You held your breath as you saw Peter crash through a window, a stream of acid following him as he fell before swinging to the top of a nearby building. Scorpion emerged seconds later, punching into the building and using his lodged fists to scale the side of the building. As Scorpion approached the top, Peter swung away once again to lead them away from the city.

“Peter look out,” you gasped, but it was too late. A stream of acid melted away his web, and Scorpion was once again tackling Peter.

Peter was unable to push Scorpion off of him, but webbed the spiked end of his tail. You worried as you saw Scorpion land punch after punch on Peter. Before another hit could make contact, Peter finally forced Scorpion off. He managed to swing away once again, just before Scorpion melted the webs off his tail.

“Peter, you need to lead him to the east of the city. The direction you’re going now has another police barricade coming up in five blocks, and we can’t guarantee he won't harm someone else,” you guided him.

“Got it,” Peter confirmed.

You watched the news feed as Peter began turning a corner, but there was a sudden shake as the camera’s view dropped a couple feet. The edge of the news feed captured a stream shooting through the sky. It panned down and you saw Scorpion with his tail aimed directly at the helicopter.

“I think he just hit the news helicopter that’s behind you,” you warn. “The feed isn’t steady anymore, you need to get them out of it before it goes down!”

Through the graininess of the feed, you saw Peter clinging to the side of the helicopter. He got the pilot and reporter to hold on before he swung out of it. He swung in the direction of where you told him the police barricade was approaching. Once he had swung to safety, the feed completely cut out.

“Are you guys okay?” You heard Peter over the earpiece. “Two blocks that way is a police barricade, you’ll be safe there.”

You waited in silence for a few moments, hoping Peter would continue to lead Scorpion away from the city. You once again tried to access any of the street cameras in hopes of being able to see what was happening.

“How’re you holding up?” You ask as you try to get the camera access codes from the police’s database.

“I’m okay,” Peter’s voice strained from swinging through the city. “He clearly got a bigger upgrade than I thought, that new suit is making him a real pain to fight. I’m pretty sure he’s stronger than me now.”

“There isn’t much of him exposed. Whoever managed to break him out had a reason to. They decided to make him as armored as possible,” you thought aloud. “If you could manage to damage his suit enough, then you should be able to stop him and–”

“I think my earpiece is messed up,” Peter rushes in a tone you’re far too familiar with. “Maybe it was hit when–”

“Peter don’t you dare turn it off again,” you warn. “Every time something bad is about to happen, it just conveniently breaks.”

“Hey, that’s not true!” His voice ticks up an octave.

“Peter. If you shut it off instead of letting me help you, I swear that–” but you get cut off as static fills your ears.

You tried reconnecting the earpiece to the other channels the two of you use, but each one held the same static of dead air waiting for someone else to connect. You move away from your workstation and pace out of frustration. You have no idea what’s going on right now between Peter and Scorpion. Your frustration quickly sours into panic as you can’t help but worry over what could happen tonight.

“Every time,” you mutter, frustrated. “I don’t know why I even try. He clearly doesn’t want my help.”

Knowing that Peter won’t turn his earpiece back on tonight, you resign yourself to an evening of worry. You begrudgingly log out of the system that was made so you could help Peter while he was fighting and patrolling the city. You shove your laptop into your bag, rougher than necessary, and grab some of Peter’s bio-cable capsules. You watch as the train car lowers itself below the tracks once again and retrieve the token that was ejected from the turnstile. Slowly making your way out of the Roosevelt station, you carefully navigate the city towards your apartment as the sky begins to darken.

You’ve lost count of how many cups of coffee you’ve drank by the time you hear the window to your apartment finally lift. You cover the short distance from the table in your kitchen to the living room just to see Peter sliding the window closed and locking it. As the sky lightens with the beginnings of sunrise behind him, you try to fight the pricking of tears that come to your eyes upon seeing him. Raking your eyes over him, you take note of the burn holes in his suit and the dirt covering his face from the rips in his mask. You walk toward him and guide him toward the bathroom so you can patch him up.

You ignore Peter as he’s sat on the closed lid of your toilet while feeling his eyes on your face. You open the drawer you keep the first-aid supplies in and see him tug off the damaged mask. You remove the mask from his hand and place it on the counter. It’s silent except for your occasional sniffle, and the shuffle of supplies in your first-aid kit. You grab a cloth and wet it with warm water, finally meeting his eyes as you clean the dirt from his face to better see his injuries. Peter gently settles a hand on your waist and uses the other to wipe away the stray tears that make their way down your warm cheeks. You do your best to ignore the stress and worry you’ve been feeling for hours, but the more of his skin you reveal the harder it is to forget about. You wring the cloth out and take out the rubbing alcohol and cotton pads from the kit.

“Sorry,” you mutter as he winces from the alcohol cleaning the cuts on his face.

“Not your fault,” he reassures, tugging you closer while trying to lock eyes with you once again.

You refuse to look into his eyes, because once you do it’ll all be too much. You can’t imagine just how hard tonight was for him. He hasn’t come home this hurt since Doctor Connors was the Lizard. You use butterfly bandages to help keep the cut on his temple closed and apply neosporin to his split lip. You wish there was something you could do for his bruises, but know the only thing that will really help those are ice.

“What’s the verdict doc?” Peter jokes, smile falling slightly when you don’t react.

“Your face is all patched up, but I can’t patch the rest up when your suit is still on,” you state.

“If you wanted me to take it off you could’ve just asked,” Peter joked again as he began to try and remove his suit without hurting his injuries further.

“I made sure to grab some more of your web capsules, by the way,” you mention softly to keep your mind busy as you help him peel the top part of his suit off and let it dangle from his hips. “I couldn’t remember whether or not you’d need more if you stopped by.”

“What do you mean ‘if’ I stopped by?” Peter sat back some so you could assess his upper body. “O‘course I was going to come over. I always come ‘n’ find you after playing hero.”

You didn’t say anything as you took stock of the bruises that littered his body. You knew they would need to be iced later, but they should be completely gone by the morning.

I guess they’ll be healed by tonight then, you think once you see the light outside slowly turning the sky from blue to orange to pink.

Your main concern was that he had what looked like a few burns from the acid. The burns weren’t too serious, but there were plenty of them. You carefully moved his arm to look at the largest burn on his side. You saw the smaller burns scattered along his arms and shoulder, and had to swallow down the lump forming in your throat once again. Lightly prodding around the burns, you quickly retreat your hand when Peter releases a pained gasp.

“You’re fine,” he quickly reassures whilst reaching for your hand. “You didn’t hurt me, I swear. But, you’re not going to be able to wipe those ones clean.”

You tilted your head trying to think of how to clean the burns without hurting him further. You needed to disinfect the area so his super healing could do its job better.

“Do we still have that antiseptic spray you found last time?” Peter prompts.

You nodded silently and pulled out two sprays to show him, “I found another one, it had pain relief on the can. I don’t know how good the pain relief would work in your case, but figured it was worth picking up.”

“I trust your judgment,” Peter spoke with a fond smile.

“It doesn’t feel like you do,” you grumble as you spray the antiseptic onto his burns and then secure dressings over them.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You don’t bother answering him as you pack up the first-aid kit and return it to the drawer you’ve turned into a medical supply cache. Once again, you feel Peter’s eyes trained on you as you close the drawer. You walk out, avoiding the hand Peter reaches out to stop you. Now that he’s home, that you’ve patched up his injuries so they can properly heal over the next few days, you have nothing else to keep your thoughts at bay. You make it to the living room and collapse onto the couch with your face buried in your hands. Your tears fall fast, no longer having a good reason to be held back. All the panic and worry you’d been feeling overshadow any bit of relief you’d been clinging to upon his return.

Peter emerges from the bathroom minutes later. You look up at the sound of his approach, seeing through the blur of your tears that he took off the rest of his suit and was wearing the sweatpants you insisted he keep here. The calm that washes over you at the realization that he’s here, that he’s still alive, makes the tears falling from your eyes speed up in frustration. Peter rushes over, and as he’s about to pull you into his arms you stop him with a hand on his chest.

“You’re an asshole,” you sniffle while wiping your eyes with your sleeve. “Why did you turn off the earpiece again? I had no way of knowing if you were okay! I thought you were really going to die this time.”

“Shh, baby, I’m okay. See? I’m alive, and I’m right here, and there’s nothing for you to worry about,” Peter holds the hand on his chest over his heart.

The steady beat of his heart under your fingertips reassured you that he really was there. The calm that washed over you earlier felt heavier as the anger inside you began to slowly fizzle away. You knew you could never hold what Peter did as Spider-Man against him, and that if you did then what kind of a girlfriend would you be?

“You’re not okay. You could have died tonight, Peter. I know what caused those burns, and you’re lucky the acid didn’t just melt you,” you’re voice was wavering more and more with every point you made while your hands weakly hit his chest. “When you first told me you were Spider-Man, I was worried sick every single time you went out. You suggested I could be your lookout while you were out there being a superhero. We agreed!”

“I was trying to keep you away from the fight. I don’t want you hearing when things get too serious out there,” he comforts tenderly.

“I don’t know how much more of this I can take,” you whisper. “It’s been eight months of you going off the radar in battle, and every time you do I can’t take it. I don’t want to lose you, but when you turn off the earpiece I worry worse. I know the only times you turn it off are when things are going to be bad. I need for us to–”

“Please, don’t do this,” Peter’s voice shook as he interrupted.

“Peter–”

“What if I gave you control? I’ll stop turning off the earpiece, listen to you more, make sure you’re as involved as possible.”

“Peter, I’m not trying to break up,” you rest your head against his uninjured shoulder, “I just don’t want to lose you. You mean so much to me.”

Peter wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his lap, “After almost two years together? You’re not getting rid of me that easily. I promise you won’t lose me.”

“You can’t promise that, though.”

“What if I stopped? I could give up the mask. If that’s what it’ll take, then I’ll stop being Spider-Man.”

“I don’t want you to stop being Spider-Man, I just want you to let me be there. I know I can’t do much, but I feel better knowing someone’s watching over you while you watch over everyone else.”

“I’ll work on it. We can even work on setting up a better base in the train car for you. Whatever it takes for you not to worry like this ever again, I’ll do it all.”

You hold onto Peter a little tighter, glad that he was okay. Your tears had stopped, all that remained of your worry and anger was the occasional hiccup. Peter buried his face in your hair as he laid the two of you down on the couch. You kept your ear pressed against his chest while avoiding his bandages, finally allowing yourself to relax into him. You gazed at him as the sunrise cast the room in a golden hue and turned the brown of his eyes into honey.

“I’m really glad you’re okay,” you whisper against his chest as your eyes droop.

“I’m sorry I didn’t consider how my protectiveness was affecting you,” Peter ran his hand up and down your back. “You can sleep now, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise,” you breathed out trying to fight the tiredness off.

“Promise. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else; I’m home.”

You stopped fighting the tiredness that clung to you. You focused on the steady beat of Peter’s heart, the feeling of his hand rubbing your back, and let his warmth relax your worries.

Home, you thought. Anywhere you are feels like home to me.

You felt Peter briefly shift beneath you, then a blanket was settled over the two of you as he pressed a kiss into the crown of your head.

“I love you so much,” he confessed softly.

“I love you more than you know,” you kiss right over his heart.

Your heart beats slowly begin to match the other’s as your chests slowed their movements and allowed sleep to take over each of you as the city awoke outside your apartment.

Author's Note : Reblogs are appreciated, likes are welcome, and if you want to read more of my fics then maybe follow.

©heyitsme1040 If you find this post on any platform under a username different than heyitsme1040 it is not their work.

[darling-i-read-it]

Peters

Tobey!Peter Parker x fem!reader

Word Count: 900

Warnings: SPIDERMAN NO WAY HOME SPOILERS

Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long dear! I hope you enjoy anyway <3

Requested: by @russian-soft-bitch, Hello, hope this one finds you in a good health 😌✌️ If that's okay, could you please write something with the idea I have? Okay, I have this idea and I think it's very cute. Reader is Tobey!Peter's fianceeand she stepped into the Ned's room with him accidentally. Andrew!Peter recognised her as his ex, they broke up because of something silly. And for Tom!Peter she was his neighbour. And they all are like wow. Thank you

Summary: the request

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

“This is ridiculous actually,” you muttered, looking around the roof that you were on. How you had gotten up here was beyond you but you kind of figured it was Peter’s fault, it usually was. At least it made things more interesting.

“You think everything is ridiculous,” Peter said, hands shoved in his pants pockets. You rolled your eyes, looking at the street below.

“Yeah and we were just on the street and now we’re on a roof. Look, we’re not even on the same street we had been. Where are we?” Peter looked down at the street beside you, trying to find any kind of familiar signs but came up empty. He shook his head.

“I don’t…know.”

“What did you fight this week that’s decided to ruin date night?” you questioned.

“Nothing I swear. Well, nothing that would do this. Just bank robbers, a couple muggers,” he muttered, standing up straight. “I have no idea how that happened.” “Maybe you gained some new powers. Go on. Try to take us back.” Peter gave you a look and behind the two of you a portal started to open. Sparks flew in a circle, growing bigger until there was a full circle, big enough for the two of you to walk through. “Peter?! Did you do that?!” He looked down at his hands in amazement then back up at the portal. There was a teenage boy and girl on the other side, the boy's hands raised.

“Who’s this random guy?” the boy questioned. Peter took a step forward and over the portal, into some sort of dining room. You followed him, the portal closing behind you.

“Wait, are you both Peter Parker?” the girl asked. There was a man wearing a spider suit behind them whose eyes softened at the sight of you.

“Y/N?” the man in the spider suit whispered.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” you asked gently, standing behind Peter.

“Wait wait. So we called another Peter Parker and our Peter’s neighbor?” the girl asked. You squinted.

“What? Another Peter? Your Peter?” you asked.

“Wait, you know her?” the boy asked.

“Yeah, she lives next to Peter. Little bit older than I remember though.” You scoffed, eyes going wide. You stared at everyone in the room, trying to figure out what was going on.

“I’m Peter Parker,” the man in the spider suit said.

“No, I’m Peter Parker,” your Peter said.

“My head hurts,” you muttered.

“You're both Peter Parker and Spider-Man of your own universes. But this is a universe where our friend is Peter and we’ve called you here to help him. I’m Ned, this is MJ.” MJ nodded, waving. “How did she get here?” Ned asked MJ quietly. “She doesn’t know Peters Peter. Does she?” “Sounds like something he would let slip,” MJ whispered.

“She’s my ex-girlfriend. She knows I’m Spider-Man,” the other Peter said. You shook your head, laughing.

“I’ve never met you,” you observed.

“She’s my fiance,” your Peter explained. “She knows I’m Spider-Man.” You nodded once. “Wait, why did you break up with her?” The other Peter scratched his neck awkwardly.

“I honestly don’t remember. We were pretty young it was before…” he trailed off and no one wanted to push.

“Well you were missing out,” your Peter explained. You cleared your throat.

“As adorable as that was, did you say I’m in this universe as well?”

“Yeah, yeah. You and Peter have lived next to each other for ages, you helped him when Tony passed away a couple of years ago. But you didn’t know he was Spider-Man I don’t think,” MJ explained. You nodded once, looking around the room.

“This is trippy.” “He’s in trouble,” Ned said. You turned to your Peter and then the other Peter.

“Well then we have to go help him,” other Peter said. “Do you have your suit?” Your Peter nodded, moving his shirt aside to show the suit underneath.

“Good because you were dressed like some weird youth pastor,” Ned said. You snorted, nudging your Peter.

“You are!” you said, cackling.

“Like she needed one more thing to make fun of,” your Peter said, shaking his head. You giggled.

“Well go on, Peters. You have things to do. I’ll stay with MJ and Ned,” you said. “We have to get your guys Peter.”

Marvel Tag List: @dpaccione, @demonchick1, @karasong, @elisaa-shelby, @lov3vivian, @russian-soft-bitch, @alexxavicry, @valentina-luvs-u, @demigirl-with-problems, @chaotic-fangirl-blog, @caswinchester2000, @mads-weasley, @torresbarnes

[greenmenace]

The disrespect Marvel purposely threw at Sam Rami’s characters was vomit-inducing and NOT funny. It was immature, cringeworthy, and childish. Norman, Green Goblin, Tobey!Peter, and Otto (him being laughed at after saying his name) did not deserve to be treated the way they were. Marvel and the entire crew affiliated with ‘No Way Home’ can honestly go fuck themselves. Tobey’s Spider-Man films will always be the best Spider-Man films to exist in Hollywood!

I know this is your own personal opinion and I don't mean any disrespect against it.

In my own opinion and thoughts, I don't think the MCU really disrespected any of Sam Rami's interpretations of the characters, not purposely. Ned had a understandable reaction as Andrew's Spidey had his suit on where as Tobey's Spidey had his suit underneath his normal clothes. It was normal to assume that Tobey's Peter was indeed "Just some random guy".

I think NWH really gave those awesome characters a great continuance from the last time they were in the Sam Rami Trilogy. There wasn't any disrespect towards them or their personalities changed in any way.

Norman and the Green Goblin were fantastic and as terrifyingly awesome as they last were in 2002 (even though I was probably a one year old when that movie came out haha, but I grew up with it). They were treated fair in NWH and their characters were not at all butchered in any way.

Otto was enjoyably lovely and grumpy, he got another deserved redemption and he finally got scenes with Norman! His name being laughed at did make me annoyed but have you ever met somebody with Octavius as their last name before? It's a bit understandable.

I don't see anything wrong with Tobey's Spidey at all, he was absolutely adorable and brilliant as he was years ago! I really really hope he gets another movie so we can see what he's been up to since Spider-Man 3.

Even if the MCU ruined NWH and it's characters which I don't believe for one bit, I don't think it's fair to blame every single person who worked on the movie. Spider-Man is owned by Sony so they have a part in NWH too.

I really enjoyed the movie and it's definitely not a disrespectful film, I didn't find any moments to be cringeworthy or vomit-inducing, I do think the beginning with Peter and college was a bit slow in some scenes and that characters could of had more screentime (especially more scenes of the villains would have been lovely).

Again, I respect your opinion and I don't have any hate towards you. One thing I do actually agree with you is that Sam Rami's Spider-Man Trilogy is the best and I love them incredibly.

[atlasdoe]

Spider Bros

Since nobodies doing it I will. Here is my little hcs of the spider men living if they grew up as brothers. (to avoid confusion I will be calling them by the actors names)

So I imagine the age gaps to be Tobey as one year older then Andrew and Andrew two years older then Tom

They all got bitten by three different spiders on a family trip to Oscorb (cause all three of them decided to be nosy)

Tobey can still do the web thing with his writs and thats what inspires Tom and Andrew to make their web shooters

I read a theory somewhere that the reason Tobey can do that is because the spider bit him on the wrist while with Andrew and provably Tom they were bit on the neck so I’m rolling with that

I imagine Tom to be 15, Andrew 17 and Tobey 18 when they got bit

After Uncle Ben died they all took it in different ways

Tobey thought he killed who was responsible but didn’t tell anyone else in the family. With his revenge already done with he stepped up and tried his hardest to take care of his aunt and brothers but it was clear that the pressure was getting to him

Andrew started looking for the man responsible the same way Tobey did. He would stay out late and come home all bruised but wouldn't tell anyone what he was doing

He and Tobey got into multiple fights about what he was up to and why he wouldn't tell anyone

Tobey kept reminding him that he was almost an adult now and that he had to start thinking about his future which only made Andrew more mad because he could clearly see that Tobey was now trying to take on the role of dad like Ben did

This angered Andrew a lot because he never truly got over their parents death like his brothers did 

Tom tried to not think about it too much

He would put himself into his school work and would hardly ever come out of his room

He hated hearing his brothers fight during the night and would pretend that he didn’t hear them

In the end Tom finally decided that enough was enough and forced his brothers to talk

They all sat in Toms room and actually talked about their feelings

This was when Tobey told the others that he killed the man responsible and Andrew came clean that he was trying to do the same thing

This is also when they all tell each other about their new powers

Tom brings it up as an afterthought just like “Oh yeah and by the way can you two also climb walls now”

Ofc this is when they decide to become to spidermen

They would all go out on patrol but in different areas of town

It took the New Yorkers a while to figure out that these were three separate guys

and they probably would've never figured it out if it wasn't for the difference in their costumes

The citizens know them as “Red” (Tobey) “Navy” (Andrew) and “Blue” (Tom)

This doesn't mean that they never get mixed up because people get it wrong A LOT

Tobey has been in love with Mary Jane Watson for as long as he can remember but she had always seemed off limits

They did get together during their last year of high school and Tobey was completely smitten

 They fought a lot in their early stages and Andrew and Tom thought that Mary Jane may not be good for Tobey but Tobey didn't want to hear any of it

He truly believe that Mary Jane was his one true love

Mary Jane found out everything and it developed some bigger problems in their relationship

Mary Jane of corse got kidnapped a lot and their relationship seemed to be rocky because of spider man

Mary Jane would complain about Tobey blowing her off a lot for spider man duties when she thought it was unnecessary because there was two others

But Tobey refused to leave his brothers incase something bad happened and he wasn't there to protect them

Mary Jane and Tobey did break up for a month after they graduated

This gave them both time to think about what they wanted in their own lives personally and in a relationship

They eventually did get back together but not before Andrew made it very clear to Mary Jane that if she broke his brothers heart shed have him to deal with

 Andrew, like his brother, had also been in love with a girl for a long time

When he and Gwen got together he didn't hesitate in telling her (he was sure she would have figured it out anyway) 

Where Mary Jane prefered to stay out of the spider man business Gwen was certain to make herself useful

This included her becoming the boys own personal healer

At first it was just Andrew who went to see her after bad nights but one night Tom was really badly injured and they didn't want to risk a hospital

So Andrew suggested going to Gwens, not only because she was good but because he really needed Gwens comfort after nearly seeing his little brother die  

Gwen made it very clear that she didn't mind any of the brothers coming round if they were hurt so long as they texted first and stayed quiet

When they knew they were going into a big fight Gwen would invite Mary Jane round and they'd hang out until the boys showed up

This was 1) to calm their nerves and 2) to make sure that Gwen didn't run after them if they didn't show up on time

After one particularly bad kidnapping involving Mary Jane and then the death of Captain Stacy Andrew couldn't in good conscience let Gwen be too close to the danger anymore

They broke up and everyone could tell that they both of them were heartbroken 

Mary Jane tried to talk to Andrew to explain how even though she's in danger she doesnt care and wouldn't want it to get in between her and Toby's relationship but Andrew is not hearing any of it. He made a promise.

Cue the events of the amazing spiderman 2 which Im still too heartbroken to think about

Anyways rip Gwen

And Andrew is CRUSHED

He stops going out as Spiderman and tells his brothers that he wants to give it up permanently

Neither of them believe him but they pretend that they do 

While this is happening Tom is falling for Liz Allen

The scene in Washington happens and Tobey ends up having a go at Tom for nearly blowing their cover because who else lives in Queens but just so happens to be in Washington and also has two close companions

its Tom nearly dying which makes Andrew realise “fuck these idiots need me” and picks up the suite again

I'm still deciding if the Avengers exist in this little universe in my heard so i don't exactly know what happened but Liz breaks Toms heart and Tobey and Andrew are ready to fight

But ofc they don't beat up Liz or anything cause they're gentlemen

But she does get a lot of dirty looks whenever they pass in the streets

Tom Ned and MJ (who im calling Mary Janes distant cousin who she doesnt really talk to) become the trio we all know and love

Toms stories really dont make that much sense without the Avengers but he goes to Europe and comes back with the girl of his dreams

causing Andrew to lose 10 bucks because ofc Tobey and Andrew betted if Tom's plan (which they've heard so many times they could recite it from memory) would work or not

Going back to Andrews love life he clearly isn't ready to find love again

He thought he had it with Gwen and doesn't want to lose anyone else

With Gwen now gone he's extra anxious about everyone else's life 

He doesn't like letting Tom and Tobey out of his sight for too long while they are fighting and is constantly checking in on Aunt May, Mary Jane MJ and his brothers other friends

Andrew doesn't have any friends himself because he's too scared to make any

So what does a guy who needs a hug and is terrified of anyone dying need?

A IMMORTAL BOYFRIEND!!!

Andrew and Wade first meet during a quiet night on patrol and would meet at the same spot every night 

Wade did eventually get to meet the other spider men and Tobey knows who he is instantly

He warns Andrew about Wades job and tells him to be careful but even after only two months of knowing each other Andrew already feels at his safest when hes with Wade

But Wade doesn't know his real identity yet which makes things interesting when he meets Andrew face to face on the streets of New York

And Wade falls HARD

They start dating unmasked (Andrew knowing who Wade is but Wade not knowing who Andrew is)

Andrew becomes super scared to tell Wade the truth because what if he gets mad that he didn't tell him sooner?

Its while on patrol that Wade finds out

While on his way to meet Andrew he notices Tobey in need of some help taking down some robbers and helps him

During the fight Tobey is unmasked and everything in Wades brain clicks into place

He's met Andrews brothers before so the dots connect pretty quick and just in time for Andrew to show up ready to help

Wade ofc isn't mad at all and just relieved that he no longer had to fight with his own thoughts on wanting both Andrew and the Navy Spiderman

So finally all of the spidermen are happy and in love and fighting crime together and all that

I didn't know how to end that clearly but I may make a part two with some more little hcs or something if people like this

[piepeloe]

Spider-man: No Way Home

I just came back from the new Spider-man, because we get our new releases on Wednesdays.

I'm not sure what my expectations were, since I was never big on any of the Spidey movies. MCU or what came before. And this time I was hesitant about all the stuff they seemed to be cramming in there, but...

OMG, this was so much fun! The rest of the audience agreed. In my country reactions tend to be pretty muted, but we got several cheers and rounds of applause.

I'll put the more spoilery stuff behind a cut, but in summary

All the characters get a chance to shine, every person that shows up has great moments.

Wong. That's all I'm going to say.

It's quieter than I expected? Still has the required action scenes, but also again, also scenes that let the characters shine.

The action scenes are pretty amazing though.

It's very much a Spider-man movie, and not partly a Dr.Strange one, like I was worried about. He's in it, and there's the multiverse and whatnot, but definitely Peter's show.

Lovely nods to Tony Stark and other Avengers here and there.

I hope you're watching Hawkeye, because there's definitely shout-outs (tiny ones in the background!) for that one.

Read on for spoilery stuff

Whatever you've heard about possible appearances, YES.

Charlie Cox does appear as DareDevil. For one scene, but it's an awesome one. People in my theater freaked. Downside: the whole thing with Mysterio pretty much gets wrapped up off-screen? At least the legal stuff. It's just public opinion after that.

Andrew Garfield appears as Peter/Spider-man. He got a round of applause when he appeared. He's awesome. I've never even seen those movies, but I'm thinking I should because he was brilliant. I've seen the actor in other stuff and love him.

Tobey Maguire also appears as Peter/Spidey, and he's fantastic. Second round of applause when he showed up.

We don't get much about what happened to both of them after we last saw them, but enough. Mostly they're there to help Tom's Peter work through things. And banter and bonding. Their scenes with all 3 of them are the best.

Seriously, I can watch hours just the 3 of them. I keep thinking of favorite moments, but this thing is already too long.

From the trailers it was clear MCU Peter would want to save the villains and I had a hard time buying that, but the movie really tries to make you like all of them. and it works, they're all sympathetic by the end.

One of the best things is that I hadn't seen Garfield's Spidey and it had been years since I'd seen Maguire's, but I could totally follow along and feel for these people.

Oh, and no Miles Morales, but a shout-out/nod that was well done IMO and went over great with the audience I saw it with.

I was a bit iffy about the final solution to the spell gone wrong, but then I saw how it led to a more classic take on Spider-man, kind of a reboot again, and I think it has great potential. I do wonder how it well affect people who know Spider-man, who have fought with him.

There's a mid-credit scene:

Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock/Venom. Which is hilarious, as he's apparently spent all that time figuring out where he is and how there are superheroes and an 'alien obsessed with rocks'. And then he gets sent home. But: a little bit of symbiote stays behind, so YES, Venom is technically in the MCU now.

The post-credit scene is somewhat disappointing as it's a trailer for Dr.Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Which will have Wanda and apparently not as an antagonist like I was expecting.

[magickgirl786]

Fixing MCU Spider-Man (2/6)

I loved No Way Home and decided to watch all three of Tobey’s movies and both of Andrew’s movies as well as all of Tom’s MCU appearances after watching No Way Home and I have come to the conclusion that I really don’t like the MCU’s portrayal of Spider-Man/Peter Parker

This is because they decided to write him as a T/ony S/tark fanboy which goes against a lot of his characterization from the comics and previous film versions of him

So I decided that I am going to fix MCU Spider-Man and next up is his second appearance in the MCU and his first solo film, Spider-Man: Homecoming 

Fixing MCU Spider-Man (2/6): Spider-Man Homecoming

I have such a love-hate relationship with this movie because I love the high school/John Hughes style scenes but I downright hate the amount of T/ony S/tark barf-inducing fanboying in it

Also why is Peter so against helping people as “The Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man” and only wants to be part of The Avengers? What happened to the “When you can do the things that I can but you don’t and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you” Peter from the last movie?

And yet again, he still learns nothing about The Accords and T/ony’s role in lying to him about them

One of the biggest changes in my version is that he finds out about T/ony’s stance on The Accords and this ruins his image of T/ony and the way this is going to happen is when they are doing the “Captain America Fitness Challenge” in gym class and his teacher says “Pretty sure that guys a war criminal now”, Peter notices Michelle scoff and roll her eyes and wants to ask her what’s up but gym class starts and he is unable to

When T/ony comes to rescue Peter from the lake, after saying “Trust me kid, if Cap wanted to lay you out, he would’ve” he’s going to say “He may have been fighting against The Accords but he was also fighting against former teammates. He was pulling his punches” and Peter, who had no idea about The Accords (remember that T/ony only told him that Cap was wrong) is going to say “What Accords?” and then T/ony’s going to change the subject, telling him to call Happy and then talking about college before hanging up

I’m going to add a scene after Ned tells Peter not to come back to the party, where Peter is walking home (after changing out of the Spider Suit of course) and he runs into Michelle who is walking home as well and he asks her about her reaction in gym class

Michelle is going to be the one to explain the whole snafu with The Accords and how signing The Accords meant that all heroes had to reveal their identities and that they had to technically be the governments lapdogs and go wherever the government told them to and that the heroes that were rightfully against The Accords are now on the run and imprisoned and she thinks this is wrong (I may write a small scene later on of how I think this conversation could go)

After talking with Michelle, Peter realizes that if The Accords had gone through, he would no longer be able to be “The Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man” because he couldn’t help the little guys and the people he cares about could be hurt because villains could target them after learning his identity and he is appalled that he fought on that side when it goes against everything he believes in

The rest of the movie is going to be relatively the same just without the hero worship Peter has for T/ony as he is more resentful that T/ony tricked him into fighting on the wrong side and has been ignoring him ever since and there are only a couple of other changes that I’m making but nothing too major

Instead of Peter saying “I’m nothing without this suit”, he’s going to say “You can take the suit because I was doing just fine with the suit and tech I made on my own before you came around to blackmail me and trick me into fighting on your side. Cap was right about you all along” which causes T/ony to aim his repulsor at him and seeing Peter flinch, T/ony is going to flash back to him beating up Cap and Bucky and will lower his weapon

And we think “Wow, has T/ony finally learned his lesson” but then T/ony will say “I’ll take that suit back now and you can go back to your roots and dumpster dive for some clothes to wear home” and then we think “Nope, T/ony is still a douche

Instead of Peter crying to Aunt May because “he lost the Stark Internship” he is going to cry saying “I’ve ruined so many people’s lives” meaning all of the people he helped T/ony arrest and put into The Raft just for doing the right thing and fighting against The Accords

Maybe Aunt May will think he means his Academic Decathlon team or Tony or whatever and won’t know the real reason he’s crying, she’ll just comfort him and then the next scene will be Peter looking on the Internet for news articles about what happened to Team Cap after the airport battle

Instead of Peter simply brushing off Toomes talking about T/ony being rich and not caring about anyone but himself, Peter’s going to say “I agree with you but this isn’t the way you should go about doing this” because I hated that Peter, a character who has always been poor and looking out for the little guy would have basically brushed off Toomes’s speech about the rich and powerful looking down on poor people

Finally, at the end, instead of Peter getting the high-tech suit back from T/ony, Peter is going to make another suit himself, that is more along the lines of the Tobey’s suit from the Raimi film series or Andrew’s suit from the Webb film series with tech that he “dumpster dived” for and created himself just like the comics and other versions of Peter as that is one of my biggest complaints about MCU Spider-Man

Next up will be fixing Peter’s appearance in Avengers: Infinity War!

[imaybeabear]

Ok so I just saw No Way Home and I have some Thoughts:

- MATTHEW FUCKING MURDOCK MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED

- NO SERIOUSLY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW BIG I WAS SMILING AND I ALMOST SCREAMED AND I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH OK

-the charges won't stick??? SIR was that a Pun?? "I'm a really good lawyer"??? MATTHEW I LOVE YOU CHARLIE COX I ADORE YOU

- why are mcu Peter, MJ, and Ned so stinking adorable?? I love them so much

-freaking Dr Strange, man. I love that he comes across as this mystical wise man type but really he doesn't have even 2 braincells to rub together

- 💛💛💛💛Alfred Molina💛💛💛💛

- WILLEM. MOTHER. FUCKIN. DAFOE.

- the mirror dimension fight was so cool!?!

- the most Spiderman-esque thing mcu Spidey has ever done is try to save the villains and I Adore him for it

- the Look on Doc Ock's face when they fixed his chip, oh my God. OH MY GOD. I just- its all he ever wanted?? I am Crying

- WILLEM DAFOE I LOVE YOU, SIR

- oh no. Oh no, May. Nonononononono the "great power, great responsibility" speech was perfect I am Sobbing and his Face I cannot handle it aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

- Ned and MJ are just Peak Friend Goals I love them

- ok. Now, please believe me when I say that I do Not live in a place where making any noise in a theatre is at all ok. In that I mean I have been threatened with actual violence for laughing too loud before. And the Entire. Theatre. Burst. Into. Applause. And Cheering when Andrew Garfield came through that portal and then AGAIN for Tobey Maguire!! I have NEVER in MY LIFE heard ANYTHING like that in ANY MOVIE THEATRE EVER INCLUDING ANY STAR WARS OR MARVEL MOVIE I AM BLOWN AWAY

- Every interaction between the spidermen was Pure Fuckin Gold I love them all so so so much and I am Crying

- so it turns out my childhood crush on Tobey Maguire and my adolescent crush on Andrew Garfield weren't as gone as I thought they were

- this movie was so funny I am still laughing at the whole Avengers bit

- Andrew!Spidey catching MJ legitimately made me burst into tears and his face when he asked if she was ok and his little nod and I'm so glad he finally got to give his character a good send off I'm still crying

- STEVE ROGERS WOULD HAVE ~H A T E D~ THAT SHIELD BEING ON THE STATUE OF LIBERTY AND I WILL FISTFIGHT EVERYONE INVOLVED IN THE MCU MOVIES EVEN IF IT MEANS DYING ON THIS HILL. I AM GLAD THAT IT GOT BROKEN. IT NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN UP THERE IM SO MAD

- have I mentioned how much I adore Willem Dafoe yet??

- the amazing fact that the shield wasn't even mentioned in the end, that the memories of Steve and Tony weren't held over his head or used to influence his decision, it was just another Spiderman who Knows, who Understands what he's going through, who wants him to be better because he wanted himself to be better, and because he knows that revenge won't help, will only hurt this kid who he knows because he knows himself I just ridhehwkwodhrbjfuf and the fucking look on Tobey!Spidey's face killed me dead I love him so so much

- the Hug. THE HUG!!!!

- I am so sad about the ending but it also makes sense which makes it even more sad. They pushed mcu!Spidey into the Avengers before his own character development could really handle it and then couldn't down scale him because he was too involved, so I'm really glad that he's getting a chance to be the small time hero he always has been again and to become his own character away from the universe ending threats but fuck! I'm so sad!

- Eddie! Venom! EddieandVenom!!

- kinda excited about that hint of a dark Dr Strange??

In conclusion:

This is the only marvel movie I actually want to go see again since Thor Ragnarok and I hate that I am being sucked back into the mcu. But I love this movie, and I love Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield so I guess it's ok

[babybatscreationsv2]

Okay. Im back with more No Way Home thoughts so BIG SPOILERS!!

It's such a love letter to Spiderman. Just every second of it is just being in love with Spiderman.

So so glad everyone was right about Matt Murdock that was everything. And it made it feel so much more authenticity Marvel than any other film I can think of. One of the staples of Marvel comics has always been characters randomly bumping into each other or dropping in to be like "hey, you got this bud? Okay, see you at game night!" Without actually offering any real help. I need more of it. More random heroes please.

They really had Norman say "I'm something of a scientist myself" and I was the only clown in the theater to laugh.

Peter was not afraid to acknowledge Oc's tentacles and yes I did notice how his eyes lingered...

I love how you could tell immediately that it wasnt Tom standing in that portal, but I didn't want to hope, i wasn't ready yet for the heart break, and then he came through and he was so tall and I just knew. I have never felt such joy.

The way Stephen teared up as Peter asked him to make everyone forget him, holy shit. I feel like we all willed Stephen into loving Peter the way Tony did and someone actually listened for once.

Also, why did no one say the words I love you? Like only MJ said it and thats weird to me. Is my family the weird ones? It was bugging me.

Also, they really put so much emphasis on calling her MJ. I dont think anyone called her Michelle even once. Maybe they were just afraid to call her MJ before because of the backlash idk

Watching Tom Holland cry will never not make me cry, he makes everything look like agony and my heart cant take it.

Also, can we talk about Green Goblin? When I was a kid I didn't know about misogyny as a concept so it went right over my head, but that's his whole thing. Goblin hates women. He hates femininity. Anything perceptivly feminine, like compassion and kindness, sets him off. I think we all knew Goblin wasn't going to let Peter cure Norman, but I really didnt put together what his whole shtick was until then. Norman is soft and loving. He's a man who isn't afraid to ask for help, who loves his son deeply. And Goblin is the opposite. And that's why Goblin is the most terrifying Spiderman villain.

Tobeys Spiderman felt a little more Spiderman than ever before, like was it just me or was he different? Not sure but I liked it.

I live for younger characters being the utmost respectful to little only ladies. The whole scene with Ned's Lola gives me life. It is my reason to live.

MJ: Crawl

Andrew: 🤨

Ned's Lola: Crawl

Andrew: Yes, ma'am I will do it for you, no need to ask twice, I got it Lola

The trope of killing a superheroes loved one so that they go all dark and have to face their inner demons is one we can do without. Comicbook spiderman once went on a darkside rampage because a villain killed like 30 people. It didn't have to be May. Goblin could have blown up his highschool or killed three random people and it would have been in character for Peter to go ballistic.

Big appreciation for sane Doc Oc. The man is a genius and he loved Peter so much and I'm glad he was there to save the day.

Also, Elektro's costume. Chef's kiss.

But I feel like Sandman had no real motive to do bad guy stuff. He was all, my daughter my daughter, and then suddenly he doesn't care. Sure.

Criticism aside, 10/10 film. I am obsessed. I will probably see it again before it leaves theaters.

[oodlyenough]

ranking the spider men

a couple of months ago I played the playstation spider-man games (base, DLC, and the miles morales follow-up). for some reason this kickstarted me on an academic quest: rewatching every major spider-man film, from tobey maguire's first up to far from home, to determine my One Definitive Peter Parker.

i'd seen all of these films before, when they were first released, with the exception of far from home.

disclaimer: as a perennial Fake Fan, i'm not a comics person, so rather than trying to score against some kind of comics gold standard, this is based on my personal taste and against my own conception of who peter parker/spider-man is after a lifetime of cumulative pop culture consumption.

also this is ungodly long but i put it under a cut to try and spare you. sorry mobile users RIP

#5. andrew garfield

listen... i saw these movies in theatres when they came out. did i hate them at the time? not really. did they leave an impression? also no. i'd like to think i went in to the rewatch with a fairly open mind. if anything i think i was bias in their favour because i did and still do find andrew garfield the only attractive peter parker on this list, lmao.

wow! they were bad!

i like when he saves that kid from the car on the bridge. also, as mentioned, i think he's hot. that's pretty much the whole list of positives.

this peter parker is a douchebag. he behaves like symbiote tobey maguire in sm3 unironically. he starts the second movie by bantering while a truck mows down countless cars and then swaggers onto graduation stage late to tongue his girlfriend in front of the school because he's a Cool Guy. he has a skateboard montage to coldplay. he uses his powers to stalk gwen, and she is, for some reason, flattered by this instead of extremely disturbed that her superpowered ex boyfriend is stalking her.

the common take i see re: garfield is that he makes a good spider-man, if not a good peter parker, because he's quippy and kind of a little shit. to which i say: i mean.... i guess. he certainly is a sarcastic quippy asshole, so if that's what you want from spider-man, uh, here he is! but i very rarely got the sense this spider-man was doing anything because he felt he wanted to help people, power and responsibility blah blah. his quips and banter comes at the expense of actually helping people, and i just -- like -- can't get behind Dark Edgy Peter quipping at people he literally intends to murder lmfao.

"it's not his fault he had bad material", you might say, which is sort of true; he probably had no chance when meanwhile you had execs sending each other emails about how wouldn't it be cool if spider-man had snapchat. but the end result is still a peter parker written in a way i just hated, and a performance that left me almost nothing to like.

#4. yuri lowenthal (spider-man ps4/ps5)

in almost the exact opposite of my beef with #5, my beef with this peter is that he is too nice. like, literally unbelievably so, to the point it makes peter feel disingenuous. this is a failure in the writing of the game beyond just peter, imo -- it so badly wants Our Heroes to be beyond reproach that it doesn't let them have any interesting flaws, or make mistakes and have to deal with them, and it guts the emotional response i might otherwise have had. it felt like insomniac's approach to writing character flaws was:

but instead of hitting people with his car, peter drops helicopters on new york.

a great example imo is the scene where MJ is sneaking into the sable base to interrogate one of the scientists, and peter swoops in, sensing she's being held at gunpoint. peter takes the guy's gun away, the guy PANICS, walks backwards, trips over his own feet, falls over, and knocks himself unconscious, like a slapstick comedy. MJ is mad that peter ruined her scoop, and it leads to them fighting. but... this was, frankly, a totally reasonable thing for peter to do. he didn't even touch the guy, so as the player, it's hard to hold this against him.

we also have a whole nightmare sequence where peter blames himself for doc oc's downfall, but there's really nothing in the story that gives peter any actual culpability -- he helped when it was reasonable to do so and backed off/gave warnings as soon as it wasn't. this peter is never allowed to cross any kind of lines or make any serious mistakes, which means his anguish over these half-mistakes was hard for me to take seriously.

also this peter fucking loves cops!! holy shit!! this is the most pro-cop piece of media that isn't directly about cops i have ever seen. where's the unlockable Thin Blue Line suit

but i had no issues with lowenthal's performance, which i thought was really good, and there were certainly lots of scenes and moments i really liked. my favourite is probably the scene where, as spider-man, he teaches miles how to throw a punch. thought it was great. at least i do believe this peter wants to help people. (maybe too much. maybe leave the grieving stranger alone at his father's funeral dude you're being weird.)

#3. jake johnson (spiderverse peter b parker)

i originally called this guy joshua jackson before being corrected by @firstofoctober. in my defense, jake johnson and joshua jackson are the same name.

anyway, i like this guy a lot. funny, enjoyable performance, coherent arc, fun to watch.

he's mid-tier because he has limited screen time compared to the rest of the list, and because it feels a bit apples to oranges to compare him to what is otherwise a list of origin stories and whippersnappers. (i know playstation peter is "old", but he's like... 22 "old".)

#2. tobey maguire

my man tobey... the thing about the tobey maguire movies is that certainly for me and probably for a lot of people my age, they really set the foundation of what i expect from spider-man in general. so it's hard to remove that from the equation and be totally unbiased.

however, i gotta say, even rewatching 20 something years later, i had a blast.

i think tobey maguire's peter is incredibly good at being the dweeby underdog. if anyone on that yellow school bus full of 30 year olds was going to get bullied, it would be tobey's peter. he's funny in a dorky way and he seems pretty sincere most of the time. the Great Power Great Responsibility line is a meme at this point but as a theme it's certainly embodied by this peter. when he's a jerk it's usually because he's Learning a Lesson or uh... because these movies are 20 years old.

his spider-man on the other hand, while likable, isn't especially funny or quippy, and isn't as believable as an action hero -- he still sort of just feels like a dweeb in spandex. which doesn't really bother me honestly -- i find it endearing, and gives his trilogy and his spider-man an underdog feeling that the highly polished MCU can't recreate -- but i can see where someone might find it lacking.

#1. tom holland

there's lots to criticize about the MCU but tom holland as peter parker is one of its bright spots. he's earnest and genuine and funny, both as peter and while bantering as spider-man. he's good in the emotional scenes. he's believable as a high schooler, which i think helps a surprising amount; both andrew garfield and tobey maguire had a very How Do You Do Fellow Kids vibe in their school scenes. his peter really feels like a kid struggling with a lot of Responsibility, and that activates my extremely underdeveloped maternal instinct.

i LIKE that the mcu sidestepped yet another spider-man origin movie where we watch uncle ben die for the 3rd time in like a decade. i'm not really that precious about remixing some of the basic concepts, especially for a character we've seen so much of that i am able to make a list like this. people talk a lot about mcu peter being in it for the wrong reasons, etc, but i think his intro in civil war & like the entire plot of homecoming totally defeats that argument.

most of the criticisms i have of tom's franchise are criticisms i could make of any movie in the MCU and are a consequence of having a shared ~cinematic universe~. the stakes are never going to feel the same in a world where there's a superhero every six feet. he's always going to have to share screentime with the cameo character from the mothership. there's going to be questions and plotholes and characters hogging the limelight and discrepancies between directors.

and listen. here's the thing about the tony stark issue: i don't care. most pithy text posts about Class Traitor Peter are misreadings at best and deliberately misleading at worst. but that's a whole other 5,000 word essay and i don't care to relitigate civil war and endgame in 2021.

anyway i know probably about two people read every word of this bc it's ungodly long and everyone else just skimmed to get angry at my rankings ✌🏻 i had fun rewatching everything tbh and i look forward to seeing Spider-man Too: 2 Many Spider-Men in theatres this December

[sagebaileyspeaks]

A Spoiler-Filled No Way Home Review

For all the readers out there, this is going to be a SPOILER review of Spiderman: No Way Home. I will give fair warning before it happens and will put it under a cut, but please be warned that I will be discussing major plot points in the movie, the ending and things not shown in the trailer. 

And I say these things because I want to provide some context for this review with a few points. The first, I haven't felt moved to review a movie since Space Jam or In the Heights (whichever came out first.) The second, I haven't physically been to a movie theater since I took my son to see Sonic the Hedgehog back in February of 2020. The third, I have only gone back to the theater and paid extra money to see a movie more than once a handful of times. Those movies were: Into the Spiderverse, Kubo and the Two Strings, Infinity War and Black Panther. The fourth, Spider-Man is the first movie I ever saw in theaters and he is my favorite superhero of all time. 

So when you read this review please use those points to understand, where I'm coming from, what my biases are, and what expectations I might have had going into this movie.  And ALLLL of that said, I f*cking loved this movie, I can't wait to see it again, it addressed all of the issues I had with this iteration of Spiderman on-screen and it took me back to the place of being six years old and seeing Spiderman for the first time. 

Easily         

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ out of ten stars. 

And now...spoilers below the cut:

This is a whammy of a movie that starts off pretty standard for MCU Spiderman (lighthearted, jokey, fun!) and then around the one hour mark becomes an emotional, heart-wrenching tragedy. 

One of my major gripes with this version of Spiderman was that I felt like he had things far too easy. He was sponsored by Tony Stark, taken in by the Avengers, loved by the public. There was no sense of accountability or responsibility, and none of his actions really had consequences. He was just cool, young Spider-boy. Costing along with everything going okay, but then he receives his "Uncle Ben" moment, when Goblin kills May at the beginning of the second act. 

And let me tell you. 

Another gripe I had not with just Spiderman, but the MCU in general is the use of CGI fights. I will always call back to that scene in the original Spiderman when the Green Goblin is just viciously whopping Peter's ass. It felt raw, it felt real and honestly six year old me didn't know if Peter was gonna make it through and they bring that rawness back with the presence of the Goblin. He beats the ever-loving shit out of Peter Parker, kills his Aunt and later in the movie tries to kill MJ. 

And to that point, the Goblin is easily the best villain in this movie. He's very Joker-esque in that he essentially wants to make Peter bitter and mean by taking away the things he loves the most to the point that towards the end of the movie when Peter is getting his revenge he doesn't even seem to broken up about the punches to the face.

But I know what you want to hear. You want to know if Tobey and Andrew return and yes, dear reader, they do. 

And another full disclosure, I've never really been a fan of Andrew Garfield's Spiderman. I thought he was an asshole. 

However, seeing the three of them interact you begin to understand the strengths and weaknesses of each iteration of Spiderman. Tobey's was incredibly sincere and has the most balance out of all of them, but seemed the most tired. Andrew's was rough, but felt driven to do the right thing and was bitter about his losses. And Tom was just starting out, and was learning his lessons the hard way. You can't save everybody, you can't have everything, and being Spiderman comes at a cost where you have to learn that being responsible means understanding the impact you have on the lives of people you love. 

I won't spoil the ending because it really needs to seen and experienced--but what I will do is list my favorite moments:

1. Doc Ock capturing Peter and saying, "you're not Peter."

2. Doc Ock revealing that Norman is dead

3. Peter using math to trap Dr. Strange in the Mirror Dimension

4. The first fight between Peter and the Goblin

5. The entrances of Spiderman 2 and Spiderman 3

6. The talks between the Spideys

7. Peter seeing Doc Ock and them having a small heart to heart

8. Peter 2 (Tobey) stepping in to stop Peter 1 (Tom) from killing the Goblin

9. Doc Ock saving the Spidermen from Electro

10. Peter 3 (Andrew) saving MJ and then crying because he couldn't do the same for Gwen

This movie works because it essentially makes the bold move of turning Tom’s trilogy into a slow burn. Homecoming, Far From Home and now No Way Home are now a complete origin story that sets Spiderman up to be the superhero that Spiderman is supposed to be. 

This is the most excited I’ve been about Spiderman in a LONG time and me and mini-me will be seeing the movie again next week!

Side Note: I’ll also post an essay I had written and was supposed to post before the movie came out, but wasn’t able to.  😅