#HCC Impulse

[askthehcc]

anyone have thoughts on apples they want to share?

Skizz: Solid fruit choice, in my opinion. Crisp and sweet. Refreshing. A great shape.

Skizz: How about you, Imp?

Impulse: I mean... yeah?

Impulse: I don't have a lot of opinions on apples specifically?

Skizz: Well that's your problem, dude. You gotta learn to formulate these things on the spot.

Skizz: A word of advice, if you wanna get ahead in business - and in life, mind you - you gotta learn to be strong in your convictions.

Skizz: Right now it's apples, but what about next time? What if someone presents you with a product and asks for your thoughts right then and there.

Skizz: They want to know your thoughts at that exact moment, what do you say?

Impulse: I've got an opinion on you right now, if you wanna hear that instead?

Skizz: ...

Skizz: You know what, apples are fine. They're fine.

Impulse: Mhm. That's what I thought.

[indigothemuse]

A lover by my side

Set in pre-canon of the Hermit Coffee Co by @soemthingsparkly

I decided to explore more of Gem, Pearl, and Impulse's relationship from before we meet them in the HCC!! technically, this follows imprints on your couch, but that's not needed to read this. All you need to know is that Gem and Pearl are dating with Impulse as their queerplatonic third!

You can read A lover by my side on ao3!

Rating: Teen

Warnings: None

Pairings: Gem/Pearl, Gem/Pearl ~ Impulse

[askthehcc]

have impulse and skizz ever considered starting a podcast together?

Impulse: A podcast? About... what exactly?

Impulse: I mean, I'll be honest, I'm not sure we're all that interesting to listen to...

Skizz: What else, Impy? Us! Our wisdom. Our take on life. Who wouldn't want to hear that?

Tango: What's this about a podcast?

Impulse: Skizz seems to think we'd make a good podcast together.

Tango: Oh hell yeah, I'd listen.

Skizz: I'll do you one better, Top. Get on over here and we'll put you on the mic.

Tango: For real? You don't gotta ask me twice!

---

Pearl: A podcast? By Impulse and Skizz?

Pearl: Listen, I love the guys. Big fan of Impulse, especially.

Gem: Seconded.

Pearl: But do I want to sit and listen to a 45 minute conversation between these two guys each week?

Pearl: I reckon I'll pass for now.

Gem: Yeah, and I mean, it's not like we don't get that every time we're with Impulse and Skizz shows up, anyway.

Pearl: Exactly.

[askthehcc]

Java Circuit crew:

Suppose you all have to trade lives for a day. Who would each of you want to be?

Tango: Bagsy Mumbo.

Scar: What? No! I was gonna say Mumbo!

Tango: Too bad slowpoke.

Impulse: And why, exactly, do you want to be Mumbo, Tango?

Tango: Well

Tango: I just

Tango: I think it would be fun to be tall, okay?

Skizz: Oh, so it isn't because you can't grow any facial hair, then?

Tango: Hey

Tango: Hey Skizz

Skizz: Yes, Top?

Tango: Why don't you shuddup?

Skizz: Pffft.

Zed: Does that mean Mumbo would be Tango?

Tango: Hell yeah, get your blaze on, MJ.

Zed: I think I'd like to have a go being Scar and having robo legs.

Zed: I reckon that would be a riot.

Scar: Oooooh, I'd love to see the world from Zed's perspective.

Impulse: Oh, yeah, Scar?

Scar: Yeah, I've always wondered what the world looks like from all the way down there.

Scar: Short ass.

Mumbo: You're a nightmare, Scar.

Zed: No, it's fair, it's fair.

Tango: So does that mean Impulse and Skizz are left swapping with each other?

Skizz: I get to be dipple-dop for a day?

Skizz: Frankly, I consider that an honour.

Impulse: You're such a suck up, Skizz.

Skizz: And you love it.

Scar: Jesus, just get together already, will you?

Tango: Pffft.

[askthehcc]

MUMBO JUMBO!! you're so cool and awesome did you know that

Mumbo: Me?

Mumbo: Are you sure you have the right guy?

Grian: They probably do.

Grian: You can be kind of cool. Sometimes.

Grian: In my opinion, anyway.

Mumbo: Oh, stop it you.

---

Impulse: Do you feel like we're getting a lil close to danger here, or is it just me?

Skizz: Should we intervene?

Impulse: No, no, I'm sure it's fine... Just need to keep an eye out.

Impulse: I mean I'm happy they're friendly again, but... you know.

Impulse: I don't want to see Scar get hurt.

Skizz: Me neither, Dop. Me neither.

[askthehcc]

What are the staff members favorite drinks?

Impulse: I like a nice chai latte.

Zedaph: Oh, it's gotta be a London Fog for me.

Tango: something we don't actually serve here, of course.

Bdubs: Oh, yeah, Zed made that for me once a couple weekends ago. It was pretty good, actually.

Bdubs: I was a sceptic at first and I'll hold my hands up to that, but I've totally been converted.

Scar: What the heck is a London Dog?

Bdubs: It's a London Fog, Scar, not a London Dog!

Bdubs: That's Paddington you're thinking of, stupid.

Impulse: Wait what? Isn't paddington a–

Zedaph: It's an earl grey tea with some vanilla syrup and just a splash of hot milk on top. Very delicious, if I do say so myself.

Scar: Huh. So it's, like, a British thing?

Tango: I guess?

Scar: fascinating.

Tango: What's your favourite drink, Scar?

Scar: Oh, hot chocolate, of course! Nothing better!

Zedaph: Ah, yes, the young man's coffee.

Impulse: Tango, what about you?

Tango: Oh, long black with three shots of espresso. First thing I do when I get in is make myself one.

Tango: Keeps the gears in the ol' thinker thinkificating, if you know what I mean?

Impulse: ...Tango, how many of those do you have a day?

Tango: ...

Tango: What are you, a cop?

---

Cleo: If I get more than five minutes after a rush, I like a flat white.

Cleo: What can I say? I like it basic. Not everything has to have a big fanfare about it.

False: Oh, yeah, give me a cup of strong black tea and I'll be happy.

Joe: For me, it's got to be something a little bit sweet, but not too sweet. I'll usually make myself a white americano with just a smidge of caramel syrup to counteract the bitterness.

Cleo: What about you, X?

Xisuma: Same as Cleo, but with oat milk. I just like it a little creamier.

---

Grian: Huh? Oh. I don't know. I don't really care. Whatever.

Scar: That's not true...

Grian: ...

Grian: Caramel hot chocolate.

Scar: There you go!

Grian: Yeah, yeah, shut up... menace.

---

Mumbo: Uh, just like... A latte, I guess?

Mumbo: It's not exciting, but–

Wels: Americano sunrise.

Mumbo: ...Isn't that–?

Wels: Yep.

Mumbo: ...

Mumbo: Alright then.

Mumbo: Are we, uh... done here?

[askthehcc]

To the Hcc I was wondering who all is a part of the LGBT+ community?

Cleo: I’m pan and non-binary, pretty sure Bdubs is aromantic, but he wouldn’t know the word for it.

Impulse: I’m also aro and I’m pretty sure Mumbo is ace.

Cleo: False is Bi, but isn’t really into relationships, at least for now.

Impulse: Again, I’m not certain, but I think Tango might be grey-romantic.

Cleo: That’s a point, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen him show interest in anyone…

Impulse: Me neither, which is why I think he might be Grey.

Cleo: but not totally Aro?

Impulse: … no comment?

Impulse: I’m pretty sure he’s also *somewhere* on the ace spectrum.

Cleo: Don’t just brush over that, Impulse!

Impulse: Let’s see who else… Oh, Zed wouldn’t care what pronouns you use, but he’s not really ever labelled himself, so I guess I’d just go with vaguely gender queer for him… Maybe even agender?

Cleo: What do you know about Tango, Impulse?

Impulse: Anyway, I really should be getting back on shift.

Cleo: Oh my god, does Tango have a crush?

Cleo: Impulse, come back and talk to me!

---

Scar: You know, I’ve never really thought about it? I suppose I’d consider myself Pan?

Tango: Hesitation?

Scar: [shrugs]

Scar: I’ve never really been that interested in anyone.

Tango: Apart from that girl in college. Remember in second year?

Scar: [sighs] Yeah… Bonita.

Tango: She didn’t speak English, dude.

Scar: But you did a great job at translating from Blaze!

Tango: And then you asked me to go on a date with you and she slapped you!

Scar: It was your fault for mistranslating! I meant for you to come with us on a date and translating!

Tango: Scar, my man, you asked her for a three–

Scar: I meant as a date with you translating!

—-

Zedaph: You knew exactly what he meant, didn’t you?

Tango: Yeah, of course. I’m fluent in Blaze and Scar. I just didn’t want to spend my entire second year translating for them.

Zedaph: Have I mentioned how much I love you?

Tango: Uh, yeah dude. We had that whole confusion in second year, remem–

Zedaph: I meant platonically!

---

Joel: I'm gluten free.

Lizzie: That's not what the G stands for, Joel.

Scott: Yeah, you're not queer because you can't process gluten, Joel.

Joel: Yeah and I'm not proud about it either.

Joel: Bloody hate stupid wheat!

---

Lizzie: [Looks around]

Lizzie: Keep this between us, yeah?

Lizzie: Grian came out to me about ten years ago, after we tried kissing with each other when we were like, fourteen.

Lizzie: He kissed me and pulled such a face afterwards and I was so offended, so obviously I kicked right off about it, of course, and then he said that it's had nothing to do with me.

Lizzie: And that's when he told me that he was actually gay.

Lizzie: He seemed really embarrassed about it and I don't think he's ever openly spoke about it since. I don't even know if he's mentioned it to Jimmy.

Lizzie: But I did have this little bracelet making phase and I didn't want him to make him a rainbow bracelet cause it felt too obvious, so I looked up the flag for gay men and made him a blue and white one instead.

Lizzie: He wore it for a good couple years after, too.

Lizzie: To be honest, Scott might know, cause he's pretty brushed up on these things, so he probably recognised it.

Lizzie: But yeah, he won't talk about it and I'm not sure how proud he is exactly, but... you know what?

Lizzie: I'm proud of him.

[askthehcc]

Hello my fave coffee shop team, I was wondering if any of you are neurodivergent and wanted to share any experiences you had? :)

Scar: Oh, well, I'm dyslexic and dyspraxic, but we didn't really know about the dyspraxia until a lot later on...

Scar: It's funny, not a lot of people know about dyspraxia as well as they do dyslexia, but it's just as impacting.

Grian: What is that?

Scar: Dyspraxia? It's like... motor co-ordination and stuff, I think.

Grian: [Snorts]

Grian: You think?

Scar: Look at me, Grian, do I look like an expert here?

Grian: ...

Scar: How dare you.

----

Cleo: I'm autistic, but I wouldn't say I have any experiences to share exactly?

Cleo: Something's going on with Bdubs, but who can really say, honestly.

----

False: I guess I can get a little anxious at times.

False: I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was at school, to be fair, so.

False: I guess it would be fair to say I do have anxiety. Hm.

----

Mumbo: Yeah, nope, token neurotypical, I guess.

Scar: Pfffftttt

Scar: Okay, Mumbo.

Mumbo: What?

Scar: What do you mean what? I've seen you iron your socks, Mumbo.

Mumbo: So???

Scar: ...

Mumbo: Scar!

Impulse: I think he's saying you might be a little autistic, buddy.

Mumbo: What, because I iron my socks? Because I like it when my socks feel nice and crisp?

Mumbo: What and I guess it's autistic to iron your underwear, is it?

Impulse: Well, no...

Scar: Yes.

Mumbo: You guys suck.

----

Bdubs: I am a perfect human specimen.

[askthehcc]

question for impulse, have you tricked skizz into drinking the everything coffee? if so what was the reaction like?

Impulse: Tricked?

Impulse: Listen, Skizz doesn't need to be tricked into doing anything.

Impulse: Skizz is like a brother to me. We've been friends since highschool.

Impulse: I've seen him do plenty dumb stuff, just because someone else was doing it, fully aware that it was a bad idea.

Impulse: This guy thrives off of being involved, in any way he can. The amount of times I've had to tell him that, no, he can't be in The Hermit work chat, is beyond reasonable.

Impulse: [Guffaws]

Impulse: Tricked.

---

Skizz: You know, I don't regret it or wish I'd done things differently.

Skizz: The world is so fascinating and life only expands once you've tasted that many flavours together at once.

Skizz: I, for one, feel grateful to be alive and able to experience a flavour event of such magnitude as that.

Mumbo: But couldn't you not taste anything for, like, two days afterwards?

Skizz: And you know what, MJ? It only made me appreciate the ability to experience flavour more when it returned.

Mumbo: ... Right.

Skizz: Yup. Life sure is an incomprehensible string of experiences.

Mumbo: ...

Mumbo: Can I get back to work now?

[askthehcc]

Xisuma how do you stay sane (or as close to it as possible) while dealing with everybody's antics?

Xisuma: if it's early or late enough in the year, I like to take an early morning jog and watch the sunrise.

Xisuma: in the summer I tend to swim in the mornings.

Xisuma: the rhythm of exercise helps me keep perspective.

Impulse: ... and?

Xisuma: and it's also handy to have a heinous amount of coffee on tap and plenty of paracetamol in the office.

[askthehcc]

Do any of the hermits struggle with opens or closes?

Eg: having to do an open as a night owl, or a close as an early bird/hates it feels like the entire day is gone

Tango: UGH

Tango: it's not like I don't like having the afternoon to do things, right?

Tango: But like, even when I have to wake up at 6am, I can't sleep before 12am. I like morning shifts, but mornings don't like me.

Tango: Assholes.

---

Impulse: closing is fine. It's fine. It's totally fine.

Impulse: It's not like I don't use the morning if I'm working in the afternoon, but when you automatically wake up at 5:30am every morning, it kind of sucks to have to wait around for an 11am start.

Impulse: But it's fine. If I have to.

[askthehcc]

mumbo: what do YOU think grian’s unsent messages said?

Mumbo: Oh.

Mumbo: Well.

Mumbo: I mean, Grian said they were just random texts he sent in his sleep so... I don't know, I guess I believe him?

Mumbo: I mean, it would be weird for him to send me a bunch of texts and delete them before I could see them, right? So. I don't know.

Mumbo: I just believe him, I guess.

Mumbo: [shrugs]

---

Impulse: [Shakes his head]

Impulse: Not that he's talked about it to me, of course.

Impulse: ...

Impulse: ...

Impulse: But obviously he has.

[indigothemuse]

Blood on your hands, Love on your lips

My fic for the HCC Secret Santa event is finally revealed :D

You can read on ao3 here!

Featuring a fantasy au with romantic soup group!!

Rating: Teen

Warnings: graphic depictions of violence (typical to the life series), attempted murder.

Pairings: Gem/Impulse/Pearl, minor Gem/Cleo