#HCC Skizz

[askthehcc]

We know the staffs favorite drinks, but what about friends of the staff and the brits?

Skizz: Oh! Not to be too much of a fancy pants about it, but I'm quite the fan of a cappuccino, extra chocolate.

Tango: Pfft, don't let the working class hear you say that or they'll riot.

---

Martyn: Just a good old British cuppa' tea for me, thank you very much. None of that mocha-cino malarky for me.

Joel: Yeah, I just drink black coffee, obviously.

Lizzie: Mmm, okay, then why do you always order a caramel frappe whenever we go out?

Joel: SHUT UP, LIZZIE.

Joel: At least I'm not one of those weirdos that likes a strawberry matcha. Who adds strawberry to their matcha?

Lizzie: The woman who's about to become your ex-wife, it seems!

Joel: Lizzie! You can't keep holding our marriage hostage to get me to agree with you!

Lizzie: ...

Martyn: Yeah, but you know she can, don't you?

Joel: Well!

Joel: I wish she wouldn't!

---

Jimmy: Ever since Tango first made me that honeycomb mocha that time I came in too early for Grian's shift, it's basically all I can think about nowadays.

Scott: Oh, the honeycomb mocha is the all you can think about, is it?

Jimmy: Yeah, it is!

Scott: ...

Jimmy: What?

Jimmy: What's that face for?

Scott: What face? I only have the one face, Jimmy.

Jimmy: Scott, what are you–

Scott: For me, it's black coffee, the stronger the better.

Jimmy: Hey, nononono, don't you distract me with you and your caffeine problems, cause you know how I feel about that.

Jimmy: Which, by the way, I've been meaning to say– No, wait, Scott, wait, come back!

---

BigB: My favourite drink is whatever Mumbo's beautiful moustache makes me.

Mumbo: [pats BigB's shoulder]

---

Gem: I change with the seasons. Some days I'm all about the vanilla lattes, other days I just want something super sweet and chocolatey.

Gem: It's hard to pin down, to be honest.

Pearl: Except for pumpkin spiced latte season, though.

Gem: Oh, well yeah, I mean, come on Pearl.

Gem: You know I'm a pumpkin spice girlie through and through, it's just not available all year because someone in head office clearly hates me.

Pearl: In the head office of all coffee shops, you mean? Even The Hermit? The independent coffee shop where our friends work?

Gem: It's a conspiracy, Pearl!

Pearl: ...

Pearl: Well I won't drink anything weaker than a cortado, personally.

Gem: [slams hands on the table] A conspiracy, I tell you!

---

Etho: I'm kinda partial to a green smoothie.

Cub: I tend to have a flat white.

Etho: Cub! Don't you count as staff, though?

Cub: Yeah, but the interviewer forgot me last time.

Etho: Oh, snap, that's pretty rude.

Cub: Indeed it was, indeed it was.

---

Interviewer's note: ...Yeah that was my bad.

[soemthingsparkly]

HCC RANCHERS SNIPPET (if you feel no inclined)

YESSIR O7

---

Tango's Apartment

Sometime in the future.

By the time Tango wakes up that morning, he's already got a stack of texts from Jimmy waiting in his notifications. 

He smiles into his pillow, giving himself one more long moment of enjoying the glee that surges in his stomach at the thought of him. 

It's been roughly two months since their first kiss - the one that allowed them to shift what they had to what they have now. 

There's something still so very new and exciting for Tango to think of Jimmy as his boyfriend. It seems silly, even.

Especially, considering hardly anything has changed between them. Sure, there's a little bit more flirting now and it's exciting to know his affections are returned, but really?

Jimmy is still just his rancher. 

...

His Rancher. 

Tango smooshes his face into his pillow again and lets himself calm down, before finally checking his texts. 

Jimmy and Tango 

Sometime in the Future. 

8:41am 

Jimmy: Mornin' rancher :) 

Jimmy: Oh, i bet you're not awake yet actually 

Jimmy: hopefully you've got your phone on do not disturb or something 

Jimmy: if not then whoops 

Jimmy: alright I tried to refrain from texting you but I actually just can't help it 

Jimmy: I've just got a coffee and some brekkie and I'm about to head into the forest for a cosplay shoot I'm doing 

Jimmy: like that someone's hired me for I mean

Jimmy: I'm not in the cosplay obviously 

Jimmy: not that there's anything wrong with cosplay of course!

Jimmy: just that I'm not the one dressing up today 

Jimmy: or any other time actually 

Jimmy: not that I wouldn't but just that I haven't 

Jimmy: jeez Louise I'm chatting up a storm ma coffees gonna get cold blimey 

Jimmy: alright I'm gonna drink this and then hit the road and maybe by the time I get there I'll have learned not to be a total idiot :PP

Jimmy: hopes are not high

Jimmy: just arrived at the forest and I listened to that band that Skizz recc'd me on the way over 

Jimmy: man likes some weird stuff but after like the first 15 minutes I could kinda dig it actually 

Jimmy: hope you're sleeping well rancher

Jimmy: can't wait for you to wake up <3

Jimmy: right so elves can go to hell I've decided 

Tango: morning rancher heh 

Tango: quite the adventure this morning for you huh? 

Jimmy: Hey T! :) yeaaaaahhh

Jimmy: How'd you sleep? 

Tango: pretty well 

Tango: dreamt of you 

Jimmy: omg no I'm blushinggggg

Jimmy: wait did you actually?? 

Tango: mhm 

Tango: I dreamt that you decided to start your own hot dog stand outside the hermit 

Tango: you served hot dog water like coffee and I kept having to tell people we couldn't let them drink your hot dog water inside the hermit 

Jimmy: what??!?! dude that's so rude!! 

Jimmy: I thought you loved me :(( 

Jimmy: why wouldnt you support my business ventures T?? :(( 

Tango: hehe sorry it was X's fault 

Jimmy: sighhh 

Jimmy: I'll have to have a word with him next time I'm over 

Jimmy: let him know that big man Jim and his customers won't be denied comfortable seating like that, eh!!! 

Tango: oh he'll be trembling for sure 

Jimmy: I should hope so 

Jimmy: tell him his days are numbered 

Jimmy: cause I'll be there again in (hang on lemme check) 

Jimmy: 52 days!!! 

Tango: sigh 

Tango: too long :( 

Jimmy: I know :( 

Jimmy: I miss you rancher 

Tango: I really miss you Jim 

Jimmy: I miss you so much T 

Tango: Hey I have to get up and take a shower before work, but do you want to call on my way in? 

Jimmy: I'd love that yeah :) 

Tango: And you can tell me about the elves and their eternal damnation :P

Jimmy: omg yes 

Jimmy: I have never been so blooming mad at a man with a pair of pointy ear Tang! 

Tango: hehe 

Tango: can't wait to hear about it

Jimmy: can't wait to tell you!! 

Jimmy: go on then stinker 

Jimmy: talk to you again after :) <3

Tango: heh

Tango: talk after <3

[welsknight-central]

#pilot au <- an au by @mawofthemagnetar with a fic called The Sky Weighs Heavy Tonight. hermit world airlines is one of the biggest names in air travel, but there have been recent budget cuts and they have a ripple effect. welsknight shows up in the fic ^-^

#mcyt pj au <- an au by @ep2nd where various mcyt smps are split into different groups under various gods. wels is here ^-^

#private detective gem tasey <- a gem centric detective au by @kiwinatorwaffles

#evil twin therapy au <- an au by @lovetunneldown where the different evil counterparts of some of the hermits and empires peeps are in therapy with wormman. helsknight is in this au

#skizzekai au <- an au made over at @hermitcraftheadcanons following the premise that skizz as a human gets summoned to a fantasy world that is filled with various fantasiful hermits. ^-^ both wels and hels are in this au

#through the sky blue cracks <- an au by @amethystfairy1 that is a hotguy/cuteguy that takes place in a modern/slightly sic-fi environment including superheros, biotech, secrets to hide, trauma to unpack, as well as humour. welsknight is in it

#shep dbh au <- the detroit become human au that @shepscapades made that follows various hermits and androids through comics and other illustrations, as well as fics made by other people ^-^

#kalhau <- an au by @mapleejay where false is a queen and wels is a knight

#CR little hermits <- an au by @sickcroww30 where there is a bug at the beginning of season s9 that leaves all the hermits except Xisuma as kids. welsknight and helsknight are both in this au

#hcvh <- a life series vs vault hunters hero au by @choco-bloop wels is part of The Herald, which is the villian group in the au

#fate grand order <- an au by @flufferbakura where the hermits are various mob hybrids or mythical creatures. wels and hels are both in this au

#hermits and the olympians <- an au by @ahllohehn that is a hermitcraft/empires based percy jackson au that is centered around the art and headcanons. there are also ask blogs that characters in the au.

#tamacrafters au <- an au by @hybbart where players spawn in as eggs and then hatch into lil creatures ^-^ this au is partially inspired by tamagotchi

#hc poke au <- an au by @sulfuric-deity where some of the hermits are gym leaders, and there are pokemon trials which are a big deal.

#x26au <- an oceans 11 kind of au by @ty-bayonet-betteridge where xisuma fresh out of prison starts getting a crew together to steal the crown jewels of empires smp

#hcc au <- an au by @soemthingsparkly where various hermits work at a coffee shop. there is a fic and an ask blog for this au ^-^

#heavenly hermits au <- an au by @ty-bayonet-betteridge where all the hermits are either gods or beings with similar levels of power, except for xisuma, who has somehow found himself the admin of a server full of mostly gods :)

#rancher apocalypse au <- an au by @hybbart that follows tango and jimmy as they survive during the apocalypse and meet old friends and make new ones on their adventures. both wels and hels have shown up :)

#hermits in space au <- a space au by @aslitheryprinx where various groups of hermits from all kinds of backgrounds end up together on an abandoned planet together

#rns: royalty au <- a spinoff au by @nexahexagon of redstone and skulk (see above for that au) taking tango and tanguish and making them both princes and making wels and hels their knights ^-^

Masterpost of all aus, fics and series that have been tagged on this blog

if you enjoy any of these, please feel encouraged to go check out the blogs tagged and check out more of their stuff! ^-^

#meteor effect <- an au by @crazycatfics where a meteor crashes onto hermitcraft and then things start to get weird. wels is in this au

#redstone and skulk <- an au by @silverskye13 with a fic of the same name. it's an au that delves into the idea of helsmets and their respective hermits and the dynamics there. both welsknight and helsknight are in this au.

#hermit college au <- an au by @kazisonline where a couple of hermits and hermit adjacent people are in college. wels is part of this au

#beacon au <- an au by @capriciouswriter207 where wels is a commander of the king's guard in a medieval fantasy au. the kingdom in this au is protected by 4 beacons that have started to fail, causing disarray in the kingdom. wels, despite being recently injured, volunteers to adventure out to figure out what is happening.

[askthehcc]

Java Circuit crew:

Suppose you all have to trade lives for a day. Who would each of you want to be?

Tango: Bagsy Mumbo.

Scar: What? No! I was gonna say Mumbo!

Tango: Too bad slowpoke.

Impulse: And why, exactly, do you want to be Mumbo, Tango?

Tango: Well

Tango: I just

Tango: I think it would be fun to be tall, okay?

Skizz: Oh, so it isn't because you can't grow any facial hair, then?

Tango: Hey

Tango: Hey Skizz

Skizz: Yes, Top?

Tango: Why don't you shuddup?

Skizz: Pffft.

Zed: Does that mean Mumbo would be Tango?

Tango: Hell yeah, get your blaze on, MJ.

Zed: I think I'd like to have a go being Scar and having robo legs.

Zed: I reckon that would be a riot.

Scar: Oooooh, I'd love to see the world from Zed's perspective.

Impulse: Oh, yeah, Scar?

Scar: Yeah, I've always wondered what the world looks like from all the way down there.

Scar: Short ass.

Mumbo: You're a nightmare, Scar.

Zed: No, it's fair, it's fair.

Tango: So does that mean Impulse and Skizz are left swapping with each other?

Skizz: I get to be dipple-dop for a day?

Skizz: Frankly, I consider that an honour.

Impulse: You're such a suck up, Skizz.

Skizz: And you love it.

Scar: Jesus, just get together already, will you?

Tango: Pffft.

[askthehcc]

okay, Xisuma, if that even is your real name. if you haven't a favorite Hermit, do you have a favorite friend of a Hermit?

Xisuma: ...

Skizz: ...

Xisuma: ...

Skizz: ...

Xisuma: [Sighs]

Xisuma: Wel, I suppose Skizz is–

Skizz: WOOH CUSTOMER OF THE YEAR, BABY.

[askthehcc]

grian can we get a two truths and one lie and I wanna see someone else try and guess which one is the lie

Skizz: Oh, I am the absolute best at reading people, let me give it a shot. Hit me with your two truths and a lie, G.

Grian: Really? You think you can read me that well, Skizz?

Skizz: [Claps hands]

Skizz: Batter up, gimme your best ball.

Grian: Give you my best - okay, fine, whatever, fine.

Grian: Give me a second.

Grian: Alright, fine, I can speak French, I've lived in a van, and... I was once part of a cult.

Skizz: Oh dude, you made that too easy. You've never been part of a cult.

Grian: Ah, you're right, I made that too easy for you.

Skizz: I mean you literally look like the kind of guy to bum around Paris in a van, it's so obvious. Come on, dude. Don't give me that cult, crap.

Grian: Yeah, fair enough. I'm not good at coming up with convincing lies, to be fair.

Skizz: Nah, don't worry about it. It was still fun to learn about you. I can't believe you've never mentioned speaking French before!

Grian: Oui.

[askthehcc]

question for impulse, have you tricked skizz into drinking the everything coffee? if so what was the reaction like?

Impulse: Tricked?

Impulse: Listen, Skizz doesn't need to be tricked into doing anything.

Impulse: Skizz is like a brother to me. We've been friends since highschool.

Impulse: I've seen him do plenty dumb stuff, just because someone else was doing it, fully aware that it was a bad idea.

Impulse: This guy thrives off of being involved, in any way he can. The amount of times I've had to tell him that, no, he can't be in The Hermit work chat, is beyond reasonable.

Impulse: [Guffaws]

Impulse: Tricked.

---

Skizz: You know, I don't regret it or wish I'd done things differently.

Skizz: The world is so fascinating and life only expands once you've tasted that many flavours together at once.

Skizz: I, for one, feel grateful to be alive and able to experience a flavour event of such magnitude as that.

Mumbo: But couldn't you not taste anything for, like, two days afterwards?

Skizz: And you know what, MJ? It only made me appreciate the ability to experience flavour more when it returned.

Mumbo: ... Right.

Skizz: Yup. Life sure is an incomprehensible string of experiences.

Mumbo: ...

Mumbo: Can I get back to work now?

[askthehcc]

hey Tango! do you have any advice for someone stuck in executive dysfunction mode who really needs to Get The Task Done?

Tango: hmmm... well I'm not sure exactly what executive dysfunction is, but man do I sure Not Do Things sometimes, heh.

Tango: Like, l'll totally intend to do, like, the dishes or something, but then just somehow keep scrolling on my phone for hours?

Tango: I'm not totally sure how I manage to get myself out of it, but it seems to help when Skizz gets home from work and, like, breaks me from that Funk™, you know?

Tango: the awesome thing about Skizz is that he never seems to, like, hold me by my lack of doing things.

Tango: I feel super bad and like the world's shittiest housemate, sure, but he never, like, snaps or has a go at me or anything, which is really nice of him.

Tango: Usually he just, like, says something like, 'Hey Top, your laundry has been hanging here for a couple days, do you need me to unblock this for you?'

Tango: And then he'll help me work out what's stopping me from doing it, cause it usually tends to be, like, I'm out of hangers in my wardrobe or something and I don't know where to put stuff when I take the airer down.

Tango: So, I don't know.

Tango: I'm sorry I don't have great advice.

Tango: [Rubs his neck]

Tango: I guess my advice is to get yourself someone like Skizz who will help you out with this stuff without judging you for it...

Tango: Yeah, I'm sorry.

---

Skizz: Tango? Oh, yeah, totally. He definitely has ADHD.

Skizz: I'm kinda waiting for a good time to have that conversation with him, honestly.

Skizz: The thing about Top is that he has impossibly high standards for himself that he just cannot drop.

Skizz: And I'm trying to work out whether or not a conversation about something like that would make him spiral or cause him to ease up on himself.

Skizz: And I just really don't know which way the penny will fall right now, so... you know, while I work that out, I'll just make sure things are made as easy as possible for him.

Skizz: He's a great guy and so determined and so... ridiculously hard working. Me giving him a little bit of breathing room at home is the least I could do, you know?

Skizz: Top's my boy, after all. He's my homie. My buddeh, if you will.

Skizz: And first rule of JC, you gotta take care of your buddies.

Skizz: It's as simple as that.