#HAVE TO SIT HERE.. AND PROCESS MY JOYFUL EMOTIONS…..

[asbestieos]

ASTA COME GET YOUR MAN !!!!!!!!

^ her ass is UNCONTROLLABLY SOBBING‼️

[bananayuyu]

Cabin Fever [part 6]

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: fluff and smut

Word count: 9.8k

Summary: Unsurprisingly, Mingi is open to your invitation; you just have to wait a bit, and your biggest fantasy will come true before your very eyes. So too will Wooyoung, Ari, and San's fantasies, and none of them can quite believe what's about to happen.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, foursome, protected sex, anal, face sitting

A/n: I really hope you all enjoy, thank you for the support as always! <33 I hope everyone has a safe and joyful New Year's Eve

Linked here is my masterlist where you can find the previous parts. Again let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist! (it will be now seven parts in total if everything goes to plan)

Taglist: @certifiedmoa @pautiny27 @luvbit3z @dawn-iscozy @artistic-rendition

@yeosangiess @drinkingrumandcocacola @smally97 @kierraperkins3 @newworldwritings

@peachyyunhoe @lucid-galaxys-world @arigakittyo @staytinyroha @yoonjikim

@breadpuddingboys

On the last full day of your trip, you finally woke feeling refreshed, a gentle energy greeting you as you blink open your eyes and take in your surroundings.

Yunho next to you smells gorgeous, his outstretched arms and lack of clothing giving you a taste of his natural aroma. You snuggle into him, waking him up in the process, his lips automatically coming to press into your forehead, gently running his hand through your hair. You don't often wake feeling this well-rested, or with a beautiful man in your bed, and you breathe deep taking in the moment. The little things like this were always what made your life, and with Yunho by your side you had a feeling there would be a lot more of those moments coming. The thought made your heart ache from joy, your eyes blinking shut as you got lost in the feeling of him.

***

The conversation had happened the day before, on top of the cliff overlooking the falls. After a brief talk with Wooyoung, his girlfriend Sammie was curious to see where things could lead, if she could only snag Ari and San for a private talk between the four of them. And atop the mountain she saw her chance, subtly whispering to them to stay behind while the other's decided they'd had enough of looking over the terrifying drop.

They'd all caught up later, of course, Wooyoung and Sammie making it back to the cabin before everyone else in the end. But for those ten minutes they all sat in a circle, eyes darting around as everyone gauged the level of comfortability in everyone else's faces.

"Wooyoung told me what you guys had proposed to him, yesterday," Sammie started, speaking with that calmness that she always possessed. "I want to say to start, I don't feel any type of way about it, like jealous, or anything like that. I mean, that will be pretty clear with what I'm about to say, but I just want to start with that. I don't think it's too forward, or weird, or any of those other judgements people might have."

Both San and Ari chuckle, releasing their shoulders that had shot up in worry as soon as she started talking.

"Me and Youngie discussed it a little yesterday, and well, I think it would be best if I was the one in control of the scene, if that's okay with you two," she says, eyeing them both with that calm reassuring look.

"Yeah, that sounds good to me," Ari responds, looking at San as he nods along.

"Have either of you ever done something like this before?" Sammie asks.

"No, but we've discussed it, at length. We've both wanted to try this, together," Ari answers her.

"Okay, well, I need you both to promise me that you'll be honest with me. If I am in control then I'm responsible for everyone's wellbeing, and I don't want anything bad to come of this for anyone. You two seem very happy together, but emotions can run high in scenes like these, and jealousy, shock, lots of confusing feelings can surface. Do you think you'll be okay if any of those feelings are brought out?"

"I think we'll be okay," Ari says, smiling in San's direction.

"Definitely," San adds, smiling back at her. "Like Ari said, we've discussed this a lot. I'm not going to freak out just cause someone else is touching my girlfriend. And I'm not one to yell, if I do get upset, just in case you were worried."

"That's certainly good to hear," Sammie replies with a chuckle. "And just to be very specific, what were you hoping to have happen? Do you want Wooyoung and Ari to do stuff together, while you watch, or do you both want to do things with him?"

"We both want to," San replies, meeting Sammie's gaze.

"And do you want that to happen simultaneously, or do you want to take turns with him?" she continues.

"Simultaneously, if we can. We really like that idea," Ari responds, lips turned up in the suggestion of a smirk.

"Okay, well, there are many ways that could go. What exactly are you both comfortable with or wanting? Are you comfortable with penetration? Are you hoping to fuck his ass?" she asks directly, eyes on San.

"Uh, yeah, I'd like to. If he's okay with that," San answers. He peers over at Wooyoung's face, at the way Woo is nervously squirming in his spot. The bluntness of the last question has both Ari and San fighting back laughter, and they really try their best, because they want Sammie to understand that they truly are serious about this.

"He'd like that very much, San," Sammie assures, smiling over at her now tight lipped boyfriend. "I don't know if he wants to say that aloud himself, though..." she trials off, prompting him.

"Yes, I'd like it if you fucked me," Wooyoung says in a small voice, making everyone laugh.

"And are you wanting Wooyoung to fuck you?" Sammie asks Ari.

"Yeah," Ari nods. "Well, I was kind of hoping I could like, be on top, if that was possible."

"And you both would like those things to happen at the same time, right?" Sammie asks again.

"I don't know if it's possible, but yeah," Ari answers, nodding in sync with San.

"I think it could work, I just need to think on it a bit. I'm sure Wooyoung would enjoy that very much, too. I think I have an idea," she sighs, looking over to Wooyoung who is silently taking in every word, his lips in a permanent shy smile. "How is this sounding to you, Youngie?"

"Good, very good," he sighs under his breath, eyes hitting the ground.

"I can't believe I'm seeing you so shy, Woo," Ari laughs. "You're never like this."

"He is, but only in certain situations," Sammie adds, making Wooyoung's ears turn pink. "Youngie, do you promise me you'll tell me if anything that's happening doesn't feel good?"

"Yes, I promise," he says, looking up to meet her eyes, knowing that's what she wants.

"And Ari? Do you promise you'll tell me if anything that's happening doesn't feel good?"

"I promise," Ari replies, smiling.

"San?"

"Absolutely, I promise."

"Okay, good. Well I think tomorrow morning, or maybe midday, will be a good time for all of this. Can we use the room you both stay in?" Sammie asks.

"Of course," Ari says, nodding her head.

"And the rest of your friends won't mind us, doing that, in the same cabin as them?"

"Two of them have been fucking basically every night in that cabin, so I'm sure it's fine. I mean, if they have a problem with it, it'd be pretty hypocritical," Ari responds, and San and Wooyoung laugh remembering that awkward conversation, after the night everyone heard you and Yunho loud and clear.

"Shall we head back down then?" Sammie asks, and the four of them stand back up, slowly beginning the decent back down the face of the cliff. Already comfortable with following her lead, Ari and San wait for her to pass by them, Wooyoung walking beside her with their hands interlocked. As they make their way down energy is high, the adrenaline from their frank but somewhat nerve-wracking conversation still coursing through everyone. San pulls Ari around to him, planting a big kiss on her, holding her close in reassurance. They're excited for the scene, but he always wants to remind her that it's her who he loves, her who he wants to be with.

***

That morning it seemed everyone had gotten a great night's sleep.

The cabin was alight with warm energy, every single one of you in a fantastic mood. After grabbing your breakfast it didn't take long for Ari to appear at your side, beckoning you to come outside and sit with her by the fire pit, as you both sipped teas and started to eat.

"Girl, I gotta tell you something," she says as soon as you exit the cabin, Yunho's hoodie keeping you warm in the coolness of the morning.

"Oh my god, what happened?" you ask, knowing that tone of hers.

"No no, what's going to happen," she clarifies, making your eyebrows shoot up. "Okay, so you know how Wooyoung asked to join you and Yunho the other day?"

"Yeah?" you ask, looking at her sideways as you sit down on chairs opposite each other.

"Well when he came back to the cabin I found him like, hard as a rock and obviously so distraught-" you both laugh, as you try not to spit out the sip of tea in your mouth. "Okay, anyway, yeah, I found him and he told me what was going on. And, funnily enough, me and San had been discussing this exact possibility a few weeks ago. That if Wooyoung would be down to join us, we'd be down to, you know, have a threesome."

"You had?" you ask, genuinely shocked. "When did you get so kinky?" you laugh, eyeing her.

"Girl I don't know, I mean, it's not like anything else we do is particularly out there, it just came up in conversation one night. I don't even remember what led up to it. But it wasn't really a, 'we should have a threesome' thing, it was specifically if Woo wanted to then we would. Only him," she replies.

"Why Woo? Wait, is San bi?"

"Yeah he is, and one time when I asked him who of my friends he thinks is hottest, he said Wooyoung," she laughs, her eyes moving up as she clearly remembers something. "We were kinda drunk that night, it was early on, we were only dating for maybe two months or something. I was showing him pictures of all of you. And yeah he said that. And then I told him about what happened with me and Woo in high school."

"I was gonna say, it won't be the first time you're fucking him," you laugh, eyeing her.

"Well, that time we were barely sixteen," she rolls her eyes. "And it lasted about a minute, in total." You both giggle, unable to stop yourselves.

"I still can't believe Woo was the first person you had sex with," you say, shaking your head.

"I can't believe I was on top, my first time," she responds, shaking her's too.

"The beginning of your top journey," you quip, making her laugh.

"I'm am still kind of a top, I guess," she chuckles, eyes lost in thought for a moment.

"What, that hunk of muscle doesn't body slam you into your mattress every night?" you ask, eyebrows raised.

"I mean, sometimes he does, but not usually," she responds, eyeing you. "Some of us like being in control, missy," she teases you.

"God, the shame of being a bottom," you groan, throwing your head back dramatically.

"So it's still true then, isn't it?" she asks you. She was curious, given that it had been a while since you were involved with anyone sexually.

"Of course it is, Ari. I don't think anyone on this planet is a bigger bottom than me," you joke.

"Well, I'm sure that's perfect for Yunho. You're made for each other," she laughs. You look at her slightly confused, and curious. "What? It's written all over his face that he's a fucking alpha dom, top, whatever," she laughs.

"Ew, what the fuck," you laugh too, you both cringing at her use of words.

"You know what I mean though, it's obvious. He's so like, let me take care of you, let me be in control, I'm a protecter," she says, dropping her voice as low as it'll go to imitate his voice.

"Okay, he's not even like that normally, though," you laugh. "He just like, teases and plays around with everyone."

"Yeah but like, it's just readable. Like the way Wooyoung is a little subby brat. He acts out and says whatever he wants which makes him seem really self-confident, but as soon as he's hot for you he's such a little sub. It's not even funny," she says.

"How do you read those things? I'm so fucking oblivious," you sigh, settling down more comfortably on your chair.

"I don't know, it just seems obvious to me," she says. "Are you saying I'm right about Yunho?" A small smile graces your lips, and you're unable to hide it. "Ha, I knew it. See, you guys are a perfect match. He wants someone to care for, you want to be taken care of. How sweet," she pouts, looking at you fondly.

"Stop it," you laugh, rolling your eyes. She waggles her eyebrows at you, then tips her head back to finish the last of her tea. "There's something I need to tell you, too," you say.

"Oh?" she looks at you, eyebrows raised.

"We're gonna try to uh, well, do stuff with Mingi," you start, not sure how to word it.

"Do stuff?" she asks, obviously prompting you for details.

"I- I'm gonna watch them do stuff, that's the plan," you say, looking away from her. "We still have to ask Mingi, but Yunho says he's sure he'll agree."

"Wowww, since when did you get so kinky?" she asks, chuckling.

"I've always been like this," you laugh.

"I know, I was kidding. You and your smutty books," she responds.

"Do you remember on our senior trip, when I saw that couple out of the window, in the hotel..?"

"Of course I remember," she smiles, thinking back to the funny memory.

"I'm insane," you sigh, looking away from her again.

"No you aren't, y/n, don't say that. I'm sorry if we teased you a lot back then, for that. That's one of those things I look back at and see how damn immature we all were." You nod, taking in her words.

"So you and San are gonna fuck Wooyoung, together?" you ask, curious again.

"Sammie's gonna be there too, supervising things."

"Supervising?" you laugh.

"Like, she's in control, I don't know," Ari laughs in response, setting her mug and empty plate on the ground beside her. "Since Woo's gonna be like the center of attention, I guess she'll be making sure he's okay and everything. I think it'll be good. Woo gets very shy and doesn't say much when he's horny."

"He doesn't say much?" you ask, bewildered.

"I know, very hard to believe," she laughs. "I honestly can't wait to see San, you know-" he hands come up to cover her face, her embarrassment obvious.

"Why are you so shy about this?" you chuckle, smiling in her direction.

"I don't know dude, I've never done something like this," she responds.

"Well, there's no reason to be shy around me. I obviously understand that you want to watch your boyfriend fuck another man." Ari's eyes meet yours for a moment, before you both break into giggles.

"Girl, what has happened this trip? We've all gone wild," she laughs, shaking her head.

"I truly don't know. I swear something about this cabin this year is fucking with our hormones. Or maybe it's just that once we get some time to genuinely unwind, all any of us want to do is fuck," you say, making Ari laugh harder.

"Something like that," she sighs, standing up. "Speaking of, I should probably get back in there. We all are supposed to meet at ten, so I shouldn't be late."

"Okay, have fun with him," you chuckle, a twinkle in Ari's eyes as they meet yours. "Oh, and can you send Mingi out here? I need to talk with him alone, if possible."

"Of course. Good luck with all that," she sighs. "Let me give you a hug, come here," she pulls you up off your chair, wrapping her arms tightly around you. "I'm glad we've had this trip, I'm just so sorry you've been feeling so awful."

"Thank you, that means a lot," you sigh, pulling away. "It's been good though, despite it all. I am so blessed to have all of you."

"We're so blessed to have you too," she says, pulling you in and kissing you on the cheek.

"Okay, I'll be going. I'll send Mingi out as soon as I'm inside," she smiles, turning to grab her dirty dishes.

"Okay, sounds good. Thank you. Love you!" you call as she starts to walk away.

"Love you too!" she calls over her shoulder, bouncing all the way back to the cabin, through the tall grass littered with flowers.

It only takes a few minutes, and a tall broad man in a hoodie is lumbering out of the cabin and towards you, his hair messy and his glasses on.

"Did you just wake up?" you laugh, as he comes and sits right the lounging chair you're on, directly in front of you.

"Yeah I fell back asleep. We were up late last night watching that movie Woo put on. How do I look?" he jokes, flashing you a smile.

"Very sleepy," you laugh, adjusting in your seat so your legs aren't so fully in contact with his. This forwardness from him isn't surprising, but you're not sure if you could get the words out with so much physical touch already happening.

"So what do you want to talk to me about, miss y/n?" he asks, his hands fiddling with the strings of his hoodie, eyeing you playfully.

"This is serious, don't mess with me," you pout, not able to make eye contact with him.

"But you don't talk with me about serious things," he chuckles.

"Today I want to," you say, and your voice is small, trepidation seeping in.

"Are you okay?" he asks suddenly, your tone concerning him.

"Yes, this has nothing to do with me," you start. "Well, no it does, but it's not like that. I haven't been diagnosed with a terminal illness or something."

"That's good," he laughs, eyeing you again.

"It's not super serious, honestly, just kind of. I just- this isn't a joke, is what I want you to understand," you say, finally willing yourself to raise your eyes to his and keep them there.

"Just say it, then," he says, gently, but wishing you'd hurry up and spill already.

"Okay, well- to start out with, I know that you and Yunho have, uh, hooked up several times. He told me about it, last night. Well actually I saw you guys like years ago, at Ari's eighteenth birthday, and then I asked Yunho about it last night and he told me the rest." You pause for a moment, expecting a reaction.

"And?" Mingi asks you, his expression not changing.

"Do you feel weird that I know that?" you ask.

"Not really, I think all of our friends know," he replies.

"God, I keep forgetting everyone else can just figure these things out," you laugh, shaking your head.

"So what about it?" Mingi asks you, now even more confused.

"Well, I- uh, I was telling Yunho last night, I liked it. Like, I enjoyed watching you two, together. And just for clarity's sake, you two can still hook up even though me and him are together. I told him last night but I'll tell you now too, I have no problem with that."

"Okay, thanks," Mingi says nodding his head. "You brought me out here to give me permission to fuck your boyfriend?" he jokes, smirking.

"Okay, he's not even my boyfriend yet, and that's not the only reason," you respond, a mixture of embarrassment and excitement tumbling through you.

"Yet," Mingi drawls, laughing. "You two are so funny. As if you haven't been obsessed with each other for years."

"Mingi, please let me finish," you hold out a hand, placing it on his upper arm and anchoring yourself there.

"Okay, go ahead," he says, his big brown eyes boring into yours, and the attentiveness makes your insides spin in a way you weren't expecting. You close your eyes, sucking in a breath, trying to calm yourself enough to finally just say it.

"If you are open to it, I was really hoping I could be in the room while you and Yunho hooked up. I want to watch you two," you say.

"I'm definitely open to it," he chuckles, staring at the way you're still squeezing your eyes shut. You peak them open, scared to see his face even if his words were positive. "You sure you don't want to join us?" he quips, turning his head to the side, just as another yawn hits him. He's so relaxed, still in the haze of waking up, but your nervous system is on high alert. Your cheeks turn pink instantly at his question, a million thoughts running through your brain, and you can't believe you'd never imagined that possibility before. It was probably because it seemed so unlikely that it wasn't even worth fantasizing about.

"Well?" he asks, searching your face as you just stare at him, now wide eyed.

"I don't know, I hadn't considered that," you answer, finally noticing that your grip on his arm was pretty severe. "Oh, sorry," you say, pulling back your hand.

"I'm open to that too, just so you know," he says, his head shaking subtly from side to side.

"Why are you shaking your head?" you laugh.

"It's just hitting me what we're talking about," he laughs, another yawn ripping through him. "I need some caffeine."

"Go get some, and bring Yunho out with you once you have. We should talk the three of us," you respond, giving him space so he can get up.

"Okay, I'll be back in a bit," he says, turning and eyeing your finished plate. "Can I take that in for you?" he asks.

"Such a gentlemen," you laugh, nodding at him.

"I am," he eyes you, stopping in his tracks.

"Oh really?" you ask, eyebrows raised. Not that Mingi was an asshole, but you assumed he was more of a playboy than anything, given that you'd never heard about any long term relationships he'd been in.

"I've wanted to fuck you for years, but I've never made that known to you, have I?" he asks, smiling, knowing exactly how you're going to respond: your mouth agape, staring up at him with complete shock.

"You're crazy," you laugh, but you can't keep your eyes on his because what he's said is making you feel things.

"Be back in a few," he responds, satisfied with the way he's left you, certain you'll be mulling over that comment until he returns.

And soon he is back, his glasses no longer on his face, his whole demeanor looking much more energized. Yunho is walking behind him, breakfast in hand, making his way to sit on your chair with you, just like Mingi had minutes prior.

"Mingi tells me you talked," he says, taking a big bite off the strip of bacon in his hand.

"Yeah," you respond, nodding and smiling at Yunho, the look on his face something like pride.

"So we're really gonna do this?" he asks, looking from you over to Mingi.

"Yeah, if she wants," Mingi says, pointing his head in your direction.

"She definitely wants," Yunho says, chuckling at you, making you slap his shoulder.

"God, are you both gonna tease me now? I don't know if I can take it," you say, and Mingi laughs hard.

"It is up to you entirely, you realize that right? If you end up not liking it, or it starts to feel like too much, you have to tell us, okay?" Yunho says.

"I know," you sigh, eyes hitting the ground for a moment.

"You have to promise me you'll say something," he says, his tone more serious that you expect.

"I know, Yunho, I promise," you say.

"I've never done this before but I know in these kind of situations it can get complicated for everyone involved. Especially if everyone hasn't done it before. And we're not three strangers who will go our separate ways, and then tell our closest friends about some crazy shit we did. We are each other's closest friends, so we'll have to deal with it if it's weird," he says.

"I think it'll be fine, even if it gets awkward," you say, looking from him over to Mingi, who's currently trying to hide the smile forming on his lips. "What Mingi?"

"Nothing, nothing," he chuckles, shaking his head. "You two are just cute, is all."

"This is serious, dude," Yunho eyes him, a sharpness in his gaze.

"I know, I know," Mingi replies, hands held up in front of him.

"If this gets weird and she gets hurt because of it-" he points to you, "I'll be very upset."

"It's gonna be okay Yunho, like she said," Mingi replies, taking in a deep breath.

"I think it'll be fine, I'm serious," you say, a hand on Yunho's upper arm.

"You have to tell me if you don't like it," he says, eyeing you, that intensity still there.

"You seem more nervous than either of us," you say, staring back.

"I guess I am," he sighs. "I guess- I'm assuming I'll sort of be in charge, right?"

You and Mingi nod in response, realizing immediately it's the obvious way this will all go down.

"Okay, I thought so. So you better listen to me," he says, clearly in Mingi's direction, and Mingi chuckles in response, his eyes darting to the ground.

"What, does Mingi struggle with that?" you laugh, looking between them.

"I mean, he just likes to mess with me is all. I just don't know if you'd be comfortable seeing that," he says, his eyes coming down to meet yours again, more softly this time.

"You two can joke around, I don't expect it to be perfectly serious the whole time. I mean, that would be kind of weird, not letting you all do what you usually do. Just do whatever, I don't care. I just want to see you together," you smile, burying your face in his chest.

"Are you embarrassed?" he asks you from above, chuckling as he makes eye contact with Mingi, the both of them loving to see you so flustered.

"Shut up," you whine, burying your face into him further, laughing as more blood rushes to your cheeks.

"Okay, well, we're leaving tomorrow, so we'd probably need to make this happen today if we want it to happen anytime soon. Is that too soon?" Yunho asks.

"It's cool with me," Mingi replies, and you drag yourself up to sitting again, agreeing with him.

"Okay, sounds good. Let's all meet in the library in like, an hour?"

"Okay," you smile, looking between them both, setting back down into your lounge chair and soaking in the sun above you.

"I need more coffee, I'm gonna head back in," Mingi says, standing up from his chair, running a hand through his hair and yawning again.

"Me too, I'll join you," Yunho replies, standing himself.

"I'm gonna sit for a little longer," you say, taking in a deep breath, reveling in the feeling of your mind being clear and your body energized.

"Okay, see you in a bit," Yunho replies, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on your cheek.

"Wait, me too," Mingi says, walking over to himself leave a quick peck on your cheek, and you giggle in reaction, playfully pushing him away.

"Go away," you whine, because it feels like he's teasing you with the gesture. But you're laughing, and they both laugh too, starting to make their way back to the cabin. You watch as they walk, as Mingi leans over and whispers something in Yunho's ear. Yunho shoves him in response, and you can hear him say 'shut up', before Mingi starts running ahead, Yunho following fast on his trail. You hear their laughter all the way from outside, and soon you don't really feel like being out here by yourself anymore, so you gently lift yourself up, sauntering back through the grass towards the door. In the reflection of the mirror you catch a look at yourself, your hair messy but in a way you love, your face one of satisfaction, maybe even pride. All that had changed, all that had transpired on this trip made you feel all the more grown up, which was your favorite feeling in the world. And you knew you were in for even more of it today; you only had to wait an hour.

***

When Ari makes her way back inside, she's met with San, Wooyoung and Sammie already in the master bedroom, the three of them standing in a perfect equilateral triangle around the bed. It almost makes her laugh, how awkward they look, especially San. But she feels that awkwardness too, even as she tries to hold onto the comfort her conversation with you gave her. She's so thankful you are here to talk to, because she's sure her nerves would have gotten the better of her if you weren't.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Ari says, the three turning in unison to face her.

"You're good, not late at all," Sammie smiles, and suddenly something in Ari's stomach is churning, reminding her of an unfortunate fact.

She was still very much on her period, this weird out-of-the-norm period for her that had caught her totally of guard. Her cramps had been so minimal she'd basically forgotten about it. Even with its unpredictable timing, she couldn't believe herself. How had she neglected to remember this very important fact yesterday during the conversation atop the cliffside? It was obviously important information to divulge, and she couldn't help feeling so stupid.

"You feeling nervous?" San asks, coming over to put an arm around her and rub her arm comfortingly.

"Uh, yeah, I-" It was hard to get the words out with how silly she felt, and the fact that it might put an end to all of this before it even started.

"Aren't you excited?" Wooyoung pipes up across from her, his cheeks already pink as he looked straight at her.

"Woo, obviously," Ari responds, a deep sigh leaving her lips, not having it in her to tease him. Which made Wooyoung quite surprised.

"Is there something I can do to make you more comfortable?" Sammie asks from beside her.

"Uh, no, sorry, I just realized like two seconds ago that I'm still on my period, and I neglected to tell you yesterday. I'm so sorry," Ari says, her head bowed forward slightly, as if in shame.

"That's okay, you don't need to feel bad about that. It's good to know, of course, but it won't be a problem at all. I promise you, Wooyoung does not care about that. I'm assuming San doesn't, and I don't either. We'll put a towel down, but I was already planning on doing that, anyway," Sammie responds, a genuine smile on her lips and a hand outstretched, giving Ari's arm a quick squeeze.

"Thank you," Ari sighs out, some relief hitting her. It made her chuckle, along with other feelings she was having, and suddenly her admiration of Sammie felt all-consuming.

"What?" San asked beside her, chuckling too.

"I just- I find Sammie's self-assuredness very... admirable," she says.

"You mean sexy," Wooyoung chuckles, his eyes fixated on the eye contact between the two women.

"Maybe I do, Woo," Ari says, flicking her eyes to him momentarily. "I hope I'm like you one day," she says to Sammie, her eyes wide as she stares at the woman. Her sharp bob swishes as her head scans the room, her kind eyes coming quickly to rest on Ari's.

"I'm sure you will be, sweetie," she says, a smile more like a smirk graving her lips.

It makes Ari's insides flip again, in a way she's totally not expecting. She grabs onto San to steady herself, then darts her eyes away, looking over at Wooyoung again who looks like he couldn't be happier.

"Can I go to the bathroom real quick and just, make sure everything's okay down there?" Ari asks, gesturing to her crotch.

"Of course," Sammie responds, and San gives her shoulder a quick squeeze before she walks out of the room again, this time headed straight for the bathroom. In the mirror she examines herself, a quick pep talk needed to calm herself down again. She wasn't sure why she was feeling so nervous, other than the fact that she'd never done anything like this before. She checked her pad hastily, finding it only somewhat more bloody than this morning. Her period had remained pretty light, and she couldn't be more thankful. If only it hadn't come at all, if only it had come when it was supposed to. But she knew that wasn't how life worked.

After freshening up she busted open the bathroom door, harder and faster than she meant to. She found a slightly surprised looking Seonghwa just outside, clearly on his way to come pee, and after a brief moment of startled eye contact she walked past him, determined to not wait any longer for the day's plan. Her face showed her nerves so obviously, so as she walked past you you stuck out a hand, grabbing hers and squeezing it tight, smiling in a way that said 'good luck, you've got this.' As she stumbled past Seonghwa's eyes stuck on yours, and momentarily he forgot why his bladder had beckoned him over here.

"Is she okay?" he asked as he sidled up next to you, both of you staring at the now closed door of the master bedroom.

"I think she's just nervous," you said, head turning back around to meet his eyes.

"Nervous?"

"Something, uh, kinky is about to happen in that room. You might want to head outside," you chuckled, leaning into him slightly.

"Something kinky?" he whispered back, eyes wide and chuckling himself.

"Don't act like you're some kind of angel whose never fucked in this cabin," you responded, making his head tip back in laughter, his shoulder nudging you playfully.

"Why is she nervous to have sex with San though?" Hwa asked.

"It's more than just San, that's why it's kinky," you answered, keeping your voice low too.

"Who else?" Seonghwa asked, eyebrows high.

"It's a long story, I'll tell you later," you said, trying to not keep laughing.

"It's Woo, isn't it," Seonghwa remarked, eyes rolling to the ceiling.

"How'd you guess," you laughed, your head shaking.

"It wouldn't be the first time, those two..." Hwa trailed off, the two of you falling into a fit of giggles, and you weren't even sure why. It wasn't the funniest concept in the world, but something about the two of them together made you both giggle uncontrollably. When you'd found out all those years ago that they were each other's first time, you'd giggled like this, too.

"Sharing secrets, are we?" Hongjoong piped up behind you, walking out of the kitchen towards the two of you with a plate of food in hand.

"Maybe," you answered, eyeing him sideways, a smirk on your lips.

"I won't ask," he said, handing the plate of food to Seonghwa, walking back to where he was dishing up. Just then Mingi and Yunho stood from the couch and made their way towards the library, Yunho's hand coming to tap your thigh as they walked past, a look passing between you two for just a second. You knew exactly what it meant, you didn't need anything more to get his message.

"I guess we'll all go to the library then," Seonghwa said, starting to make his way that way too, and your hand jumped out instantly, stopping him.

"No, its- you can't-"

The words escaped you; you really didn't know what to say.

"What?" he asked, eyebrows raised in confusion.

"I need some private time in there," you said, sighing.

"Private time with those two?" Seonghwa asked, pointing towards the backs of the two tall men.

"Uh, yeah," you chuckled, eyes hitting the floor momentarily.

"Good lord, it's threesomes abound," Seonghwa laughed, shaking his head.

"Again, don't act like you're some angel," you pouted, holding up a hand.

"I'm not honey, I'm not judging. It's just, kind of surprising, is all," he said, smile on his face.

"Why don't you two, like, go to the falls or something, so you don't have to deal with all the rest of us, um, you know..."

"You know, that's not a bad idea," Seonghwa replied, looking in the direction of the kitchen. "Hongjoong, do you want to go to the falls after we eat?" he asked, raising his voice slightly.

"Sounds great," Joong replied, running the dirty pan and spatula under the water of the sink.

"Okay, go have your fun," Seonghwa said to you, motioning in the direction of the library door.

"Stop it," you chuckle, walking past him, just as Yunho stuck his head out, wondering what was taking you so long.

"Have fun!" Seonghwa called after you, making yours and Yunho's cheeks turn a matching shade of pink.

***

"Everything okay?" Sammie asked as Ari walked back in, the three still standing far apart in the room, but the atmosphere comfortable. It was more that everyone was waiting to see what was going to happen, waiting for someone to make the first move, and no one was stuck still in their spot, excited energy coursing through their bodies.

"Yeah," Ari nodded, sliding up next to San, who moved behind her and put his arms around her waist.

"Is everyone ready then?" Sammie asked the room, looking between all three of them. A chorus of yes followed, everyone nodding together. "You all seem hesitant," she chuckled, everyone's body's still jittery with anticipation. "You've got to all get more comfortable with each other before anything can start happening."

Ari and San stared across at Wooyoung, his ears pink and his mouth uncharacteristically closed.

"Wooyoung, get over here," Ari finally said, and he came quickly, his feet sliding across the hard wood floor. Woo stumbled in front of the pair, his eyes wide, breathing already starting to become uneven. "Woo, kiss me," Ari said, and that was all it took for him to step forward and plant his lips on hers, gently and hesitantly at first.

But it was just like the last time, even if the last time had been nearly ten years ago. Something about kissing Ari felt so easy to him, and they moved in sync instantly, their lips dancing over each other's. Sammie watched on from beside, and San had the closest seat in the house, watching the love of his life kissing her stunning friend. Ari could already feel him getting hard behind her, his hips involuntarily grinding into hers. She knew the sounds Wooyoung was making, those breathy moans he couldn't help, were doing a number on everyone in the room. She herself was falling into it now, the hesitation and slight embarrassment already washing away. There was nothing else she could focus on when she was kissing Wooyoung, so deeply and intensely, while San held her from behind.

Finally the kiss broke, the pair of them breathing ragged, the air in the room electric with energy. Everything had shifted with just that one kiss, and now everyone was in it, you could feel it. Woo looked from Ari to San, then back to Ari, and in a flash Ari stepped away so the two could get a taste of each other. She stepped back towards Sammie, their shoulders coming into contact, as they watched on. San's hand was in Wooyoung's hair, and Wooyoung was already trying to undress San, his hands snaking under his t-shirt to feel over his muscled torso, squeezing and feeling over every inch he could. For a moment he pulled back, but San's grip on his hair was still there, and he got pulled back in again, into a harder kiss. It took his breath away, San's tongue swiping through his mouth, his strong hand gripping hard into his hip. Wooyoung let out a whimper at the feeling, the slight pain going straight to his crotch and making him fully hard.

Sammie chuckled next to Ari, a bright smile across her face.

"What?" Ari whispered.

"He just really liked that. He really likes San, I can tell," Sammie answered.

"I understand the feeling," Ari responded, the two giggling momentarily as the two men in front of them finally broke their kiss.

"What?" San asked, his eyes coming back to rest on Ari, who was giving him a look like no other he'd ever seen.

"You two look good together," Sammie answered, her eyes falling softly on Wooyoung and his blown pupils, his hair already disheveled and messy. The compliment made him blush, and he looked away, but his hands didn't leave the chiseled chest in front of him.

"Everyone more comfortable now?" Sammie asked, and again a chorus of yes insued, this time with no hesitation. "Shall we take off our clothes then?"

Immediately Wooyoung grabbed for San's shirt, aggressively pulling it off in a way that had everyone giggling.

"Youngie, calm down," Sammie chided, making Woo sulk and step back, but Ari knew that look well and knew how much he liked it.

"Yeah Woo, calm down. You'll see him naked eventually, I promise," Ari added, more laughter echoing through the room. The two men continued taking their own clothes off slowly, Wooyoung throwing his shirt on the ground behind him while San gently set his down.

"Can I?" Sammie asked Ari, coming up behind her and grabbing the bottom edge of her tank top, slightly tugging on it.

"Yeah," Ari nodded, holding her hands up high over her head to help, and Sammie pulled it up in one swift motion, setting it down on the floor. Crouched down she began pulling down Ari's sweats too, gently holding them at the ground to allow Ari to step out. Then she did the same with her panties, leaving Ari completely naked to the room and almost frozen.

"Was that okay?" Sammie asked behind her, and Ari turned her head, their eyes catching for a moment.

"Yeah, I liked it," Ari said, a shy smile painting her face as she looked down. It was the way every movement was so deliberate, so gentle, that had her feeling so many things. She'd never really felt anything like this for a woman, she was pretty sure, and she had no idea if it was just the moment or if something else was unlocking inside her head.

"You look gorgeous, the boys can't stop staring," Sammie said, gently pulling off her own shirt and pants, carefully folding her glasses and setting them on the side table. Ari looked up to see both boys hard and staring, Wooyoung almost gawking at finally seeing her naked. It had been a while since he had, and last time had been in a dimly lit room in the dead of night. He couldn't stop gawking at San either, mostly at the size of him, sure he'd need even more prep then he'd already had in order to take him.

Ari felt shy suddenly under their stares, so she turned back towards Sammie again, which felt for some reason like the most natural thing to do. She was always used to being the one in control with San, but something about Sammie made her want to follow orders, and there was something relieving about that.

"Can I kiss you, gorgeous?" Sammie asked, and Ari nodded, opening her mouth as the two met for a moment, hands scanning each other's bodies. Never did she imagine she'd be here, but another woman's hands all over her were magical, the way she knew every little place that felt so perfect. The way she brushed over her nipples just so, not too rough but not too gently either, or the way she ran her hands down her stomach and stopped just before the place where Ari could feel her arousal pooling, so turned on by every bit of nervousness and excitement that had led here.

As the two separated they looked over, finding San palming himself, his hard length disappearing and reappearing in his hand.

"You're so fucking sexy baby," he said while staring down Ari, her whole body flushing with need, moving her over to him on instinct. Wooyoung had already sat himself on the bed, staring up at everyone around him as he watched San and Ari locked together in a passionate kiss, San's hand grabbing harshly at Ari's ass and making her whimper.

"You getting excited baby?" Sammie asked him, coming to stand in front of him and straddle his legs, the two getting lost in a kiss of their own. He was rock hard, desperately grinding into her thigh to get any sort of relief, needing things to move along faster. He whined into her mouth, getting lost in the warmth, in her calm collected demeanor that always had him folding. He forgot for a second there were other people in the room, completely entranced by the way her hands roamed his body, the way she always remembered exactly how to turn his brain to mush.

"We're ready for him," Ari's voice sounded behind Sammie, bringing Wooyoung out of his daze. The two broke apart, and immediately Ari moved in to take Sammie's place, pushing Wooyoung down so his back was flat against the bed, his legs hanging off of it. She leaned down to kiss him, her ass stuck high in the air for the others to see, Wooyoung's hands grabbing desperately at her.

"Wait, wait a second," Sammie spoke, her tone a bit more commanding. The two moved their lips apart, both staring at her, Ari looking back over her shoulder. "Youngie, come here, lay on the bed like normal, with your head on the pillows."

He did as he was told, Ari staying in place and waiting for her instruction, San moving up behind her to feel over her ass that he loved so much. Wooyoung laid himself down, his cock stood tall and already leaking a bit, his hands behind his head in a relaxed gesture. He couldn't keep the huge grin off his face, his whole body alight with excitement. He couldn't believe he was actually here, after his ridiculous attempt to make this happen just two days ago.

"Let me put this on you," Sammie said, taking the condom out of its rapper and coming to place it gingerly on Wooyoung's hard length. He groaned at the moment of contact, and Sammie kindly gave him a few strokes, before pulling back, leaving him desperate. "Okay Ari, have at him," she chuckled, and Ari climbed over, straddling him and kissing him like before, this time free to grind against his cock all she liked.

"You know they've fucked before, right?" San quietly asked Sammie, the two standing side by side as they watched on, a gentle moan falling from Ari's lips when Woo's tip hit her clit.

"Yes," Sammie chuckled, not surprised. Ari had that way about her that made her someone Wooyoung would like: she was reasonably tall, obviously strong, and not afraid to tell Wooyoung no.

Finally Ari slid down on him, their hips coming in contact slowly, Ari staying put for a second to let herself breathe. Woo's hands gripped her thighs hungrily, his head moving up off the pillow when she pulled away slightly to chase her lips. He needed more of this, he was pent up as hell, and a part of him wished he could turn her over and fuck her right then. But this had been planned out, the steps there in Sammie's head, and he wanted nothing more than to follow them. He knew if he did he'd have the best time of his life, no doubt.

Finally Ari started moving up and down, a slow rhythm to her movements as she sat up a bit, her hands coming to Wooyoung's shoulders to hold her up. She threw her head over her shoulder, catching San's eye playfully, before shifting her focus back to Wooyoung. San just laughed, his face a bright smile, watching his fantasy come to life in front of him. He too couldn't really believe this was all happening.

"Okay, you ready for more, Youngie?" Sammie asked him a few moments later, and he nodded with a whine. "I need words, if you can."

"Yes, please more," he groaned, Ari still working herself up and down on him.

"Okay Ari, I need you to stay leaned forward like that, tilt your hips forward even more if you can," Sammie started, coming over to them. "Youngie, open your legs for me, and hold them up to the side, okay?" she asked, helping him move them exactly how she wanted. Now his hold was exposed to her, the purple silicone plug finally peaking out, and she tugged on it slightly, making him let out a guttural moan.

"San, I need you to stretch him out with your fingers just a little more, you're pretty big," Sammie said, looking over to San still palming himself, a blush crossing his cheeks at the mention of his size.

"Of course," he responded, moving over just as she finally popped out the plug, another deep groan leaving Wooyoung's lips.

"Ari, stop moving for me for just a second," Sammie added, moving to the side to hand San the bottle of lube from the side table. Ari did as told, looking down at Wooyoung's flushed, pathetic face, and let out a snicker, making eye contact with him.

"What?" he asked shamefully, and it made something in her heart soar. It was equal parts cute and hot, and so fucking Wooyoung, and she just about burst in to a fit of laughter right then and there. She stopped though, when San's fingers finally found there way inside Wooyoung, and he let out another one of those groans, his eyes rolling back in his head before his lids fully closed.

"Is that good?" San asked behind Ari, his face and body totally invisible to Wooyougn in this position. That was kind of a travesty, Woo thought, but the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out more than made up for it, San hitting the right spots inside him. He must have done this before, which was so hot too, and suddenly Wooyoung felt really really lost in it all, at the fact that three people were here focusing on just him and just his pleasure.

Slowly San added more fingers, until he was sure Woo was ready, and after a quick slip on of his own condom, lined himself up with Woo's entrance, gently pressing in.

"Fuck," Wooyoung groaned, and Ari's pussy clenched down on him, making everything even more intense.

"Breathe, Youngie," Sammie said from beside them, her hand stroking comfortingly through Wooyoung's hair. After a deep breath San slowly pushed in further, Woo tight and warm around him, but definitely ready. He bottomed out quickly, letting out a deep sigh at the intense pleasure it was giving him, his girlfriend's own cunt stretched open in front of him, just inches away.

"Okay Ari, you can start moving, slowly," Sammie said, watching Wooyoung's face intently for any sign of pain or displeasure. But all she saw was a wide open smile, his eyebrows then knitted together in pleasure, his hands coming up to open his legs even wider for San's access. "You can move too San, he's ready," she said, watching how carefully San was holding himself, staying still when he so clearly wanted to move.

The two began moving in tandem, thrusting into and down onto Woo slowly at first, then increasing their speed. San's hands rested on Ari's hips, helping her maintain her rhythm, his eyes snapping back and forth between Woo's hole and her's, not believing this was real. Ari's moans were growing, as were Wooyoung's and he wasn't sure how long he'd last with this scene unfolding in front of him, his cock enveloped in soft warm muscle that felt too good to be true.

"How are you doing, Youngie," Sammie asked.

"Good, so good," Woo nearly slurred, working hard to get the words out between his moans.

"I'm gonna put that mouth to good use, okay?" she asked, this time not giving him much time to answer before climbing over his face, sitting herself down facing Ari. His sharp nose pressed into her, his tongue coming up to lap at her clit, relishing the tanginess of her cunt and all of the feelings this gave him. He was so at the mercy of them all now, so unable to move or do anything other than just take, take, take. His moans were muffled against Sammie's core, but everyone could tell they were even louder now, that he was loving this more than anything.

"Fuck, good boy," she said above him, grinding down on his face, unable to stop herself. Once she realized he could take it, that San wasn't too big, she couldn't wait to sit herself down and watch these two beautiful strangers ravage her beautiful boy, while riding his face as hard as she wanted to.

The two women, facing each other, made heavy eye contact, Ari's legs getting shaky as she neared her climax, her breathing and moaning shaky too.

"You close?" Sammie asked her, her hand coming to stroke her cheek gently, nearly sending Ari over the edge immediately.

"Kiss me?" Ari asked, and in a second their lips were meeting above Wooyoung, the two lost in each other for a moment. Below Wooyoung grabbed Sammie's thighs hard, pulling her down onto him even more, wanting to be totally enveloped in everything. And behind Ari, San threw his head back at the sight, so hot he didn't think he could take it.

"Fuck, don't do that, I'm gonna cum," he groaned, and Ari chuckled into Sammie's mouth, intertwining their tongues and pulling on Sammie's shoulders just as her orgasm hit her, her body pulling back and then collapsing on Sammie's shoulder, her legs shaking hard.

"Fuck, fuck," she groaned, the feeling ripping through her hard, and behind she heard San's characteristic 'fuck', followed by an abrupt change in his rhythm, his hips coming flush with Wooyoung's and staying there while he let his orgasm consume him. Ari slumped back against him then, still coming down from her own high, as Sammie rode Wooyoung's face in earnest, her own climax washing over her in no time. The whole scene had her nerves buzzing, and it only took one final sharp suck on her clit for her to come undone, her own legs trembling as she did.

She quickly pulled herself off Wooyoung's face, his tongue swiping around to lick her juices from his lips as soon as she was gone.

"You okay?" she asked him, her hand stroking through his hair again. He just nodded, a satisfied sigh leaving his lips, and a slight chuckle. "Did you cum already?"

"Yeah," he laughed, staring up at her now, his eyes big and full of contentment.

"Of course he did," Ari laughed above him, his cock still buried inside her.

"When, Youngie?" Sammie asked, chuckling.

"Um, not long after San started fucking me," he admitted, a hand coming up to cover his eyes in embarrassment.

"Damn," Ari said, the whole room chuckling. "How the fuck did you stay hard?"

"He can do that, it's weird," Sammie answered her, everyone laughing again. "Good weird," she added, stroking her thumb across his cheek.

"Okay, I'm gonna move now," Ari announced, pulling off Wooyoung slowly, her own body still reacting to the slight stimulation. Then San pulled out of him slowly, Woo sighing at the loss, his body a rag doll on the bed. Everyone began slowly cleaning themselves off, stretching their bodies and coming back to themselves, the shock of what they'd just done hitting everyone slightly, in their own time.

"I'm gonna go get some water in the kitchen," Ari announced, slinging on her sweat pants and top, eyeing San and hoping he would catch on.

"I'll come with you," he said, quickly moving to put on his own clothes as she left the room, then walking out slowly, behind her. In the kitchen she set out two glasses, filling them both with water, handing him one as he came in. He took one sip and then set it on the counter, standing just a foot in front of her and staring into her beautiful eyes, trying to read everything.

"Did you have fun?" he asked, eyes not leaving hers.

"Yeah, did you?" she asked back, a shy smile on her lips.

"Yeah."

They stood in silence for a moment, not breaking their eye contact, until Ari couldn't take it anymore and started giggling, her eyes hitting the floor.

"I can't believe we just did that," she said quietly, a hand reaching out for her boyfriend. He pulled her into him, enveloping her in a huge hug, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Was it everything you dreamed of?" he asked, making her laugh more.

"I think it was everything you dreamed of," she responded, nudging him.

"I love you, Ariana," he said, his voice low and full with sincerity.

"I love you too," she said, her face raising to meet his, her eyes wide.

It really was what she'd dreamed of, more honestly, but something in her felt like she didn't want to say that just yet. This moment felt like it was for them, for her and this man who was so good to her, to remind each other just how much they loved and needed the other. And she was more than grateful for it, so grateful she felt like she might start crying, which didn't feel right, either. Crying right after you had a foursome, well, just seemed a little ridiculous. She sank herself into San's chest, her breathing heaving in lieu of tears, and San could feel all of the emotion washing off of her, it matching the way he felt in so many ways, too.

It had been a lot, this trip. The pressure he felt to impress her friends, to not disappoint anyone. But it had also been fun, some of the most fun he'd had in a long time, and he couldn't believe they'd gotten a chance to explore this fantasy they'd had for months now.

The gratitude ran through him too, washed over the both of them, leaving them in a cloud of joy that wouldn't leave for a long, long time. The cabin was almost eerily quiet, no one else in the living room or kitchen, and they both knew that would end very soon. But for now this moment was for them, for their love, for everything they built and felt together.

[nocturnalghoul]

I need words, use your words

I had this thought about Mountain dealing with Aether leaving while driving to work yesterday and quickly wrote the entire outline out before I forgot then wrote it on break :)

Summary: Mountain also has his own emotions about Aether leaving and the fact that he didn't tell him ahead of time. Sure Aether considered Dew's feelings but not his and Mountain looses his cool for a bit. AKA, I once again am on my "yeah Dew and Aether are close cause of their extended past, but Mountain was there too y'all." bullshit

Words: 1553

Hurt/comfort, no warnings

Read below the cut or on AO3 here if you prefer that

Mountain sits calmly as Aether stands giving the announcement that he will no longer be touring to the entire pack. From his position leaned against the back of the couch he can see that nobody looks completely surprised, suspicions and rumors already having traveled through the grapevine. 

Still, everyone expresses sentiments of how much they will miss his presence on tour, and promises to find time to spend alone with the quintessence ghoul before everyone else heads out. 

Mountain plays his part in the moment, but deep down he is pissed. That particular sentiment can wait for a less public occasion he decides, and slinks off back to the greenhouse.

He spends the remainder of the day trapped in his own mind, planning to talk to the quintessence ghoul later that night when the two of them can speak privately in Aether’s room. 

Dinner seems to last forever. Mountain casts occasional glances towards Aether in between talking to Cirrus and Cumulus about something the two ghoulettes seem very excited about, but he doesn’t quite understand. Either way it’s a nice distraction, and the joy on their faces when he indulges their interests is always rewarding on its own. 

Each time he looks over at Aether he can’t help but notice the deafening silence coming from Dew next to him. Aether does his best to engage him in conversation or at the very least entwine their tails but to no avail. At least he knows Dew is currently pissed enough that he will have the quintessence ghoul to himself tonight. 

Eventually all the other ghouls settle into their various plans for the night and Mountain is free to make his way to Aether’s room. 

He takes one final deep breath before knocking firmly on the door with the special knock the two had developed. He hears a cheerful “Come on in Mount” from Aether and opens the door with more force than necessary, stepping through the entryway before closing it again with a loud click and making sure to engage the lock. 

Aether’s face is open and joyful at first, however Mountain watches the way it falls once the other ghoul takes in the aggravated handling of the door and the earth ghoul’s sour expression. Worry begins to knit on Aether’s brow as Mountain lets the previously masked smell of his irritation, like rotten wood and sulfur, permeate into the air within the small room.

“We need to talk, Aether” Mountain states plainly, moving to sit on the end of Aether’s bed not waiting for any further invitation. 

He vaguely is aware of the way the bottoms of his pants flake mud onto the bedspread but can’t be bothered to care. 

“Listen, I know Dew has to be upset but I told him in advance so he would have extra time to process it all.” Aether starts defensively, guiltily avoiding eye contact with the angry ghoul. There is genuine remorse on his face, however it only serves to make Mountain even more irritated. 

“This isn’t about him, Aeth.” he retorts, voice steely.

Aether glances up at him in shock and the two simply stare at each other for a long moment. Mountain sees the violet shade of the quintessence ghoul’s eyes darken slightly as he fully realizes why Mountain is actually here. 

“I- Oh… Mountain I’m so sorry. I didn’t think that-”

“That’s exactly the problem, you never fucking do!” Mountain interrupts, momentarily losing his hard fought composure. He sees the soft buds of butterfly weed fall from where they have manifested throughout his hair. 

He forces himself to take a deep breath as he takes in the way Aether is sat across from him in stunned silence, allowing him the space to speak his mind. 

“I get it, you and Dew are close. You are both there together at the front of the stage on tour while I’m stuck in the back. You were there to directly heal him and pump him full of quintessence after his transition, meanwhile I could only support him emotionally and keep sentinel.” 

Mountain can see the way that Aether wants to interrupt and tell him he is important to the both of them too but holds up a finger to stop him. 

“You two have been through so much together, but both seem to forget that I was there for all of it as well. Dew will still have Rain up front with him, he will have Cirrus to bitch with on the bus, me to climb into bed with whenever the nightmares feel too real and only somebody who was there will calm him down. Dew will be more than fine.” 

Mountain holds that same finger up again and forces himself to breathe as he scrunches his eyes closed so tight momentarily it takes a second for everything to come back into focus when he opens them again. The tears beginning to well up in his eyes likely do not help that fact, but Mountain is set to ignore them as long as he can. 

“The issue is with us, Aether. In fact, fuck here I said it wasn’t about Dew and yet I still am here fretting about him. Once again I shove my own feelings aside for you two’s various bullshit. He is so much stronger than either of us give him credit for, meanwhile I feel like I’m crumbling to dust.” Mountain half shouts before leaning forward to bury his head in his hands. 

He feels Aether reach out to grab his leg, squeezing comfortingly and letting out a deep sigh. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you ahead of time.” Aether finally mutters out, voice lightly laced with shame and the barest hint of embarrassment that nobody but Mountain or Dew would likely pick up on. 

“You didn’t tell me at all really. I found out from Rain. I’ve been waiting for the entire last week to see if you would tell me yourself and only finding out when you told everyone as if we all didn’t know already felt disrespectful.” Mountain spits out, not quite done being angry yet. 

Aether shoots him a mournful look. “I don’t know what you want from me, Evergreen” 

Mountain fully breaks down at the use of the pet name only him and Dew use, tears falling rapidly as his body is wracked with sobs. 

“I don’t want anything from you, I’m just fucking hurt. I am sick and tired of feeling like an afterthought.” he manages to choke out before shifting to collapse fully into Aether’s already open arms. 

The quintessence ghoul pulls him into a crushing hug, leaving him feeling so small and delicate in his strong grip. The two sit there like that for a while, the only sound sneaking through past Mountain’s wailing the occasional tick from the clock across the room. 

After several minutes Mountain’s breathing finally levels out and Aether slightly loosens his grip for the first time in order to unhook his chin from the earth ghoul’s shoulder and look him in the eye. “I love you so much, Evergreen, just as much as I love Dew. Please know this.” he whispers, trying not to break the first moment of calm since Mountain walked in. 

Mountain shrugs off Aether’s arms and retreats back to his original spot across from him, brushing the small flecks of dirt he left behind earlier off the bed. 

“It doesn’t feel like it sometimes. I realistically know that you, as well as Dew and the rest of the pack love me, but I feel like you never say it first Aether. It’s like you only ever say it back to me.” Mountain admits, picking out the small purple hyacinths spread throughout his hair now. 

He catches a glimpse of Aether’s face and it's clear he recognizes the sudden interest in the flowers for the avoidance tactic it is but lets it slide. 

Once all the flowers are gone he looks back up at the quintessence ghoul and finds him staring, waiting patiently for Mountain to be ready to continue. There is a spark in his eye that Mountain knows means he has thought up an idea he is proud of.

Aether invites Mountain to stay the remainder of the night with him, giving the two of them a chance to simply exist in one another's close company, but also hints that he will make plans for tomorrow. 

The two of them agree that after chores tomorrow, Aether would meet Mountain at the main greenhouse and whisk him away to plan out a night for just the two of them. 

Mountain feels a small amount of the negativity he had been carrying around all week chip and crumble away at the suggestion. 

“I’m still hurt, however I’ll gladly take the olive branch you are extending, Starlight” he concedes. 

Mountain watches as Aether’s posture straightens momentarily with excitement as he picks the small crop of olives that manifested at the base of Mountain’s horns out and places them on the nightstand with a light chuckle. 

The two spend the remainder of the evening curled up chatting, not a singular care about anything outside of those four walls. The issue at hand could never be resolved so simply, but both would agree that it is an enjoyable start. 

[xxnashiraxx]

for the fic writer questions: 2, 14, 29, 39, 43, 54, 72! ❤️❤️

Thank you for asking, my love 🖤🖤🖤 You can find the original post here!

2. Do You Plan Each Chapter Ahead or Write as You Go?

Look, I'm not really a "details" person, lol. I have always been shit at planning, which usually turns out to be my Achilles heel. I've gotten really lucky with this story- I've outlined the very basics and noted down key events and plots I'd like to unfold and write during the duration, but mostly I've just started and not stopped writing- thank god this game has quests or I'd be dead in the water. I work around the natural progression of the game, toss in some tropes and silly little things and dialogue, and hope it all works out, and so far it's done just that! I will say this is the most organized I've ever been in writing, and I'm really pleased with what I've done so far- this is the best work I've ever done, and I'm really proud of it. 🖤

14. How Do You Write Emotional Scenes? Do You Ever Feel What the Characters Feel? Do You Draw From Personal Experiences?

I love writing emotional scenes, they can be gut wrenching or joyful and I like to try and emulate what I'd feel when the characters I'm writing about are experiencing those things. I have a lot of angst history, unfortunately, but that's been great in helping me realize what happens to me when I go through those feelings. I like to touch on the senses- smell, sight, sound, touch, all of that. I try to immerse myself in it all like how a panic attack can leave you scattered and how your chest feels tight and that there's not enough breath in your lungs, or how a kiss can make you feel like there are butterflies in your stomach (cliche, but hey it happens) alongside the less glamorous descriptions of sweating profusely and feeling like everything is on fire. Emotional scenes weren't always my strong suit, but I've never looked at them through the lens of how I would feel in that moment, and doing so has really helped me improve.

29. What's Your Revision or Editing Process Like?

This is also pretty scattered! I was smart enough this time around to plan out my fic before I started writing, and in doing so, I spent April to the end of July of this year writing out nearly all of Act 1 for my fic without posting or uploading anything. Now that we're in October, I'm nearing the end of everything I've written, and up until this point, I've taken the week between chapter postings to polish and tweak the third drafts of all the chapters (that had already gone under extensive editing during those 4 months) and sometimes re-write things entirely. It's taken a lot of my free time, hence my shift to an every-other-week release, and as I finish posting all my pre-done material, I will now be writing a chapter the first week and going through edits the second week before posting. I don't plan on burning out, but there's always the chance the release schedule could shift again to accommodate more for my time and best work. 😊

39. Share a Snipper from a WIP.

Aww, I simply cannot resist 🖤 Have some angsty Chapter 12 from With Stars to Fill My Dream stuff since all the snippets I've been posting this month have been horny, lol.

He holds her until she yawns and he guides her back to her tent, a soft trembling laugh tickling his ear when she stumbles over her bedroll. He sits next to her as she gets tucked in, long hair fanned out around her flushed face, while some savage creature tears and gnashes at his chest from within. “Astarion?” “Hmm?” “Sorry about earlier.” He peers into her eyes, watching them grow foggy. “When, darling?” “In the windmill. I… it was really silly of me. I didn’t know how you felt, and I let that… uhh… word? Get in the way? I guess…” She laughs and there’s amusement in her eyes, the alcohol slurring her words. “Anyway, I usually don’t fall for people this fast, I just didn’t want to mess up what was going on between us with my feelings. You just want sex, though, so I don’t have to worry about those anymore.” Oh. He should leave before she reveals any more secrets she intends to keep. Yet… he can’t help wanting to hear them. Part of him wants them like he wants power, like he wants leverage. The other… lingers on the fall-for-people line, the words stuck behind his eyes as she looks at him and continues on. “But we can't do that. I'm sorry that I can't tell you yes,” She smiles, too far gone to realize she should probably shut her mouth. “I misunderstood big time, but I promise I don’t feel that way anymore. You don't want me that way, so we're just friends. We'll never be anything else...” She closes her eyes, exhale shaking out of her lungs with a weary rattle. He sits until her breathing evens and stares at her, odd warring emotions unfolding beneath his ribs. He's confused- confused at what she said, at what she meant, at why she sounded like she was hiding the truth away from him as she spoke, and perhaps even from herself... The creature savages it all, making him finally tear his eyes away. Before he can stop himself he leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, before leaving and disappearing into the night.

43. Do You Take A Sadistic Joy in Whumping Your Characters, or Are You More the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" Kind of Person?

Kind of both, lol. I love making them all stupid and broken and then healing them and taking that all away- it's really very cruel, but I'll be damned if they get too comfortable. I would love to take mercy on them, but I'm not a merciful god. :(

54. What's Your Favorite Part About the Fanfiction Writing Process?

I just love thinking of how I could give more depth to situations that I felt could have used it, or grow bonds between characters where I saw a lack of before. I love the imaging part- I usually do this with a bit of music (which, fun fact, is the only reason I'm writing my long fic, thank you Crazy on You by Heart) and I sit and immerse myself in the sounds and lyrics as I think about how they could apply to the situation I'm thinking about and it all comes together. I've planned many scenes in my writing this way and gotten inspiration from them. 🖤

72. What Order Do You Write In? Front of Book to Back? Chronological Favorite Scenes First? Something Else?

I sit at my desk and just go at it, man. I have that loose plan, those key scenes in mind, and I try to fill the gaps in between! I always try to stick to chronological order and go from there, but there have been a few times I've written out a future scene and I love coming up on them when I hit that point only to take a wrecking ball to them sometimes, but at least I had the bones to start and that really helps. 💗💗💗

Thank you for asking, again! I really love doing things like this 🖤🖤

[melinda-internetart]

Glitch: For my glitch piece, I decided to use my digital art I made a few years ago of an angry man in a tie in Adobe Illustrator as an image. I used tools such as displace filter and scanline effect in Photoshop to shift pixels in broken, chaotic ways to create a sense of anger and emotional chaos and a thin horizontal lines that stretch across my artwork symbolizing disruption and fragmented emotions. I also adjusted the hue and saturation to create bold, distorted red tones to manage my image to express the intensity, anger, and emotional heat. If I had more time, I would further explore layering techniques, experimenting with additional textures and glitches to intensify the chaotic feel of the piece. I’d also would have added audio elements, such as distorted sounds or static, to complement the visual disruption and deepen the emotional impact.

Distortion: For my distortion piece, I used another one of my digital arts I made in Adobe Illustrator of a sad man sitting on the floor. This time, I used Photomosh and began exploring its 27 effects. The moment I clicked the mosh button, the software started to give all kinds of effects. After experimenting, I found an effect that resonated most with the emotional tone of my artwork. I decided to save the image randomly during the distortion process, which gave me the chance to maintain a moment where the emotional difference and visual glitch aligned perfectly. This resulted in the fluid, wave-like distortions around the figure, representing the progress of my character’s emotional state and the broken down of his form under the weight of his sadness. If I had more time, I would capture multiple stages of the distortion effect and arrange them into a GIF in order to further emphasize the shifting, unstable emotions that my artwork is going through.

Datamoshing: For my datamosh, I also used one of my digital artworks from Adobe Illustrator of a happy little girl smiling. I used an app called Glitch Lab that takes my original illustrator artwork of a happy, smiling little girl and distorts it into a fragmented, glitchy expression of joy. In using Glitch Lab, I experimented with different preset effects until I found one that perfectly suited the datamoshing technique. The datamosh effect here breaks the smooth digital aesthetic into pixelated, fractured shapes while maintaining the quality of the little girl' happiness. By allowing parts of the girl's face and body to scatter, while keeping her facial features recognizable, I really like how the effect help create a sense of joyful chaos, symbolizing happiness spilling out in uncontrolled ways. If I had more time to develop this piece, I would have explore different color palettes within the glitch effect, such as adding neon or contrasting colors, to see how changes in the visual vibrancy might affect the emotional tone of happiness.

[invisiblerambler]

I have an incredibly complex relationship with the city state and region where I grew up.

Especially when it comes to the way that people clearly, whether they know it or not imply I escaped in some way.

Which to be clear I did. What I did and how I accomplished it was exceedingly calculated and all I had wanted for as long as I can remember.

But it also makes my stomach hurt because a lot of people aren't that lucky or they don't choose to leave. I have a multitude more compassion for those people than I once did. In some ways I envy the way they were able to grow in the place they were planted in a way I never could.

I guess if you consider me from California than I'm growing where I was born but not where I was planted.

Regardless, I feel this overwhelming need to explain and defend where I'm from now that I've left.

For better and worse I feel a fondness now I never could before. I would not thrive there. I should not live there full time probably ever again but I feel indebted to the ways it shaped me.

It's influence on me feels outsized now in positive and negative ways. Finally being in an environment entirely culturally different and removed from that I have room to heal a lot of things. I've been away over a year but LA was culture shock in a way that gave me ultimate perspective.

The familiarity makes me want to go back. The shock to my nervous system of doing everything I never have has been a constant fight to not want to drop everything and move back (even if that realistically isn't an option).

Going back would mean shutting up all the voices including the one coming from inside my own body about the 20ish years I spent there.

Living through this season has been extraordinarily complex. I miss so many things I never expected and frankly took for granted now being away going on two years.

On one hand I would not trade any of what I have now. I am living the life that any version of me until very recently wouldn't have dreamed of, on the other hand the grief I feel is immense and sometimes I don't know where to put it or how to hold both in my hands.

I have said yes to so much this summer. In a good way. I have so many opportunities at my fingertips and I want to take advantage of all of them as much as I can. But that has definitely come at the price of avoidance. When you're too busy to think it's easier to let things fall by the wayside. Bury the emotional flashback and use new experiences as an excuse to heal your inner teen instead of sitting with the emotions that brings up.

This summer has been healing. I am swimming in the grattitude of the people that got me here and the position I find myself in.

I also am trying not to drown in the realization of everything I put to the side to get here. I let a lot of things go unprocessed or more accurately processed them only enough to get to where I needed to be.

My body isn't allowing that anymore. Everything is painfully near the surface and I'm trying to cover up the scar tissue.

I'm not sure how I'll look back on this period of time. I have had the summer of my life. One of the best and most exciting I have ever had and holding that with the knowledge of how much I am processing frankly sucks. I want this to feel joyful and uncomplicated. I want it to feel good and fulfilling and healing. I know life isn't that way. I know that I am reaching a point if I haven't already where I need to consider what my life might look like and not just my career.

I don't know how to live if my career isn't at the center. If it isn't the fight of my life to get what I want. To let something else take the front seat. I am excited and terrified to find out. I am not changing completely my career is still for better or worse vastly important to me, but I don't think I need to fight for it for a second. I can let things unfold with gentle guidance instead of active steering. It will all be fine.

[musicarenagh]

Introducing an Exclusive Chat with Artist Katelyn Paige Have you ever come across a song that feels like a journey through love’s rollercoaster? Katelyn Paige’s “Miles to You” captures that ride perfectly. It’s the soundtrack to every emotion you’ve experienced in pursuit of that special connection. You can cry to it, you can jam in your car—it’s a double win. Paige’s ability to blend her lyrics with the song's changing vibes is magnetic. Her vocal range is consistently impressive, making her stand out. And she’s not stopping here; we’re all eager to see what’s next in store from her. Today, we've got a chance to sit down with Katelyn Paige, also known as KPZ, and Mister Styx of Musicarenagh, to dive deeper into her music and the inspiration behind her captivating sound. Listen to Miles to you below https://youtu.be/tkscXowJVeU Follow Katelyn Paige on Youtube Tiktok What is your stage name KPZ Is there a story behind your stage name? I got my stage name from my best friends growing up. They always called me that, and it just stuck. It's all about those tight bonds and good times we had together Where do you find inspiration? find inspiration in life's ups and downs, channeling my emotions into my music What was the role of music in the early years of your life? Music has been my lifelong companion. I began singing before talking, rounding up cousins for family musicals. Wrote raps in 5th grade for commercials, always rocked talent shows with my voice. It's been a joyful journey from the start! Are you from a musical or artistic family? Not at all. My dad was a music junkie though. Had so many CD’s and music always playing around the house .. even the bathrooms. My grandma can sing too Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry? My mom . She always told me to follow my dreams How did you learn to sing/write/to play? Honestly just by the feeling of it. Music feels like apart of my soul . I did take vocal lessons with Mama Jan studios in 2021 and learned how to do my warm-ups and a few scales. What was the first concert that you ever went to and who did you see perform? Jingle Ball, Justin Bieber! How could you describe your music? It's a mix of pop, hip hop, rap, and a dash of Southern charm. It's a vibe that's all its own Describe your creative process. My creative process starts with a feeling, lots of work, and ends with a song. My producer sets the vibe, and I add the lyrics. It's all about capturing the emotion and making it into music. [caption id="attachment_53250" align="alignnone" width="1440"] My creative process starts with a feeling, lots of work, and ends with a song.[/caption] What is your main inspiration? My fans What musician do you admire most and why? I admire Alicia Keys the most because she creates amazing music with deep lyrics, and her style is classy. Did your style evolve since the beginning of your career? Definitely Who do you see as your main competitor? I don’t really “compete” with anyone . Im more of a collaborative type person . So Katelyn Paige vs KPZ What are your interests outside of music? Outside of music, I love playing with my dog Otis, having wine nights, dancing, throwing parties, and getting into decorating and organizing. If it wasn't a music career, what would you be doing? Probably dentistry full time or competing on a Worlds team for competitive cheerleading What is the biggest problem you have encountered in the journey of music? Not knowing the business side in the beginning as well as should have. If you could change one thing in the music industry, what would it be? Social media populace being a priority over great music . Why did you choose this as the title of this project? Gin & Toxic? Drinking to kill the buz of a toxic relationship. & i thought it was cleaver like Gin & Tonic What are your plans for the coming months? Releasing 1 song every month Do you have any artistic collaboration plans Not yet What message would you like to give to your fans?

Hey! Thanks for the love! Follow me on socials for the latest and greatest tunes. Stay tuned—it's about to get lit!

[pastorsperspective]

Never Walk Alone

It’s that time again. Time to reflect on things we learned from Sunday’s sermon. Things we’ve hopefully thought about throughout the week, pondered, questioned… If you missed it, you can watch the service here: https://fb.watch/nTAAwqsWLy/ A special Thank You to Mrs. Laura Rothe for assembling and directing the bell choir, The Joyful Ringers!

The message this week focused on the importance of taking care of yourself. Having balance, health, wholeness, and holiness in our lives. Of all the things you mentioned and all the ways that you suggested we use to take care of our spirit, body, and mind; I noticed one common theme and was fully prepared to ask about it. Then a funny thing happened. Someone else submitted the same question and it made me laugh because we don't get a lot of question submissions for one, and two, it was exactly what I was going to ask. So, for myself and at least one other person out there: Of all the ways you suggested self-care, you mentioned taking a walk four times. Is there some biblical significance or special importance to taking a walk?

Great question! So, certainly there was a LOT of walking in Biblical times and even Jesus demonstrates taking a walk alone at times to pray and be with God. But this was mentioned more because taking a walk is such an easy and accessible act that hits on all of the areas of Good Medicine mentioned. When we take a walk, we are acting physically, the rhythmic pattern of steps can be a pattern for prayer and finding comfort in the constant and consistent stepping. Walking allows the mind time to process in an emotionally healthy way because the act does not require full attention. The mind can process and think through emotions. Walking and crying, yelling, etc… can be very therapeutic and allow emotional health to flourish while at the same time thinking about fond memories, lost loved ones, and appreciating present loved ones can be done also which can be very powerful! As a Native I often sing Native hymns and Christian hymns while I walk, which is therapeutic and healthy on many levels! Walking is just such a great first step to finding balance and holiness. 

I completely agree. This year has been a big one for me regarding self-care and walking has been at the core of it for mental, physical, and spiritual health. For all the reasons you stated. I can listen to music while doing it, be alone with my thoughts and prayers, cry, scream- if need be, or simply enjoy nature around me if I’m outdoors or the virtual sights I can see if I’m indoors. I have seen places virtually this year that I will probably never get to see in my lifetime, and have re-visited one that I have been to and it has been a wonderful adventure. If anyone is interested, I use an app called The Conqueror to take virtual hikes all over the world and have traversed 580 miles so far this year through Israel, Holland, New Zealand, Germany, Los Angeles; and am currently hiking my way through the Amazon Rainforest in Brazil via my living room treadmill. There’s a mental clarity that comes when you shut everything else out and just take a walk with yourself, with your thoughts, with God…

However you choose to take the best care of yourself in your quiet time, know that you are never alone. I know that on my walks, I am never walking alone. When you read, when you go for a drive to clear your head, when you sit by the water or just stare off into space. You are never alone. Just like the song says:

I have never walked alone I’ve never been abandoned You are my inheritance You are my strength and shield And I have confidence You go before me You’re my deliverer I know I never walk alone

So, whatever you do today, do it with the peace and confidence of someone who knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is walking right there beside you. If you enjoy contemporary worship music, please take a listen to this song from Hillsong Worship.

Never Walk Alone

[i-prescribe]

You have probably eaten enough Easter egg to bring you to the edge of a diabetic coma, so while we are at the “I m never eating chocolate again” stage, use this to kick start your new eating regime in preparation for the Summer reveal.

Here are a few “lean laws”  to help you on your way.

Be positive, a positive thought process and thinking lean and healthy will help you on your way to your goal. Every time you eat, repeat the mantra “Every meal controls my blood sugar, feeds my muscles  and makes me lean”

Set realistic goals. New eating habits must mature into a way of life , on Monday set a goal for that week  and in your journal for life, keep a note on how you are getting on . Write Today and everyday I will eat breakfast.

Review  , problems and how to overcome them and set a new goal . Add it to your list and work on one new change or tweak.

Seek support from others and give yourself  permission to say no thank you  to foods you know are not good for you. Not fueling you , or are making you feel guilty. Do not feel shy about turning down blood sugar soaring foods, feel proud for making changes and sticking to your goals

Prepare your meals,to suit your lifestyle, ingest – chew your food, digest – food that releases slowly and takes a little longer to digest will satisfy us longer and give us more energy when  assimilated. Discipline yourself .

Spirit , mind and body need to be integrated, Spirit is our conscience, the mind governs thoughts emotions and will and the body responds to the physical needs , pain and pleasure. All three need to agree for success . The mind gets caught between the body and the spirit, so find a way to convince the mind to do the right thing. Every time you  lose your resolve, Close your eyes , inhale and exhale  deeply through the nose 7 times and on each inhale repeat to yourself , I can do this because I will feel better and stronger for longer

To properly fuel the body , know what to do. Everybodies calorie needs are different. Each meal should be 3 to 4 hours apart and should contain , protein for amino acids to maintain healthy muscle, high fiber low glycemic carbs to maintain healthy blood sugar and healthy cell activity and healthy fats to help maintain hormonal activity.

This is a little nudge fpr those of you who struggle it is not a one size fits all but one size does not fit all.... develo0 a sense of wellbeing learn how to fuel for your life . Male it wotk and teach your kids how to cook and not fear or rush food.... sit down for meals at a table , not on the fly..... if you can have at least one meal a day where you sit witj family a friend or even your pet and interact with them.... food as a joyful experience should not be missed but crucially it is what keeps us alive and functioning on so many more levels than feeding a hunger pang or a memory. Food! my loves, is medicine..... on all the planes

. Love life , eat , drink, be merry and try new things new tastes , mix it up and have fun

[klarity-jane]

Say "Thank Me" Now: 6 Featured Switchword Combos for Self-Appreciation

As I sit down to write this article, I realize how much I have achieved in my life. I've overcome many obstacles and learned so much, yet it is so easy to forget all of that and focus on the negatives. It is important to take a step back and appreciate ourselves for who we are and what we have accomplished.

Self-appreciation is not something that comes naturally to many of us. We often focus on our shortcomings and failures, rather than celebrating our victories. Truthfully, self-appreciation is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. When we give constructive attention ourselves, we are more confident, more motivated, and more resilient.

So how can we cultivate self-appreciation? Here are 6 switchword combinations that can help:

1. COUNT-BLESSINGS-NOW: Stimulates concentration on the good things in life, rather than the bad. When we count our blessings, we realize how much we have to be thankful for, and increase the value in ourselves for our steadfast effort and dedication.

2. JOYFUL-SERENITY: Impresses the framework for inner peace and happiness. When we feel joyful and serene, we can readily acknowledge ourselves for being able to allow happiness in the present moment.

3. LOVE-WORTHY-DIVINE: Prompts recognition of our own worth. When we see ourselves as divine beings endowed with love and respect, we cherish ourselves for who we truly are.

4. HAPPY-SUCCESSFUL-NOW: Mindfully fosters value in ourselves. When we feel happy and fortunate in the here and now, we applaud ourselves for our ability to create a fulfilling life.

5. THANKS-SUCCESS: Cues reverence to celebrate triumphs. When we give thanks for our masterpieces, we give credit to our contributions and dedication.

6. I-AM-BRILLIANT: Guides us to be aware of our own brilliance and potential. When we affirm that we are organically brilliant, we honor our naturally exceptional selves.

Fundamentally, self-appreciation is an essential aspect of our well-being. When we genuinely value ourselves, we are better able to cope with the challenges of life; thereby paying more attention to experiencing higher joy and happiness in the now. By adopting these 6 switchword combinations, we can elevate the cultivation of self-appreciation and engender greater satisfaction. This is a substantial process to be orchestrated within, not by external influences. Remember, you are warranted of adoration just as you are.

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

Too good to be true

I really can’t believe I'm writing this. Lost the screenshot of the request (Sent in two parts…)

But this was the idea (my summary).

Oda falls for you, and Dazai likes you, but the reader is part of Mimic (but also the decay of angels, if I understood right?) but there's more. Let's change a key point in the story to make it even more heartbreaking... aka you're the one who gets oda killed by spilling the information, and then let's have Ango tell Dazai because you're already far outta Yokohama.

Oh, the pain of this request.

PM!Dazai x Reader x Oda

Words: 1328

Too good to be true.

Was it still cruel to act cruelly to those who had done cruel to others? Was it to be considered an unforgivable act of cruelty? If it was, then why was it so easy to hurt those who hurt others?

Beneath the cloak of darkness provided by the dimly lit night sat a bar. Lighting up an alleyway hidden in the depths of darkness laid its sign, “The Lupin”. With the moon hidden behind shadows and no sign of rain or storms, four friends sat close to each other. Three holding drinks in their hands. One to the farthest left sat observing the group, two younger teenage mafia members, respectfully feared, reduced to laughing embers of another self. To the left, sat Dazai, an executive of 17. He’d been an executive for years, known as the youngest and most feared executive. Though if someone were told that seeing only the boy sitting on the stool, they would doubt those words. After all, he was smiling and laughing about wanting to switch jobs with another. To his right, sat a mafia member who wrapped them all like thread around their fingers. Their cold eyes and an empty smile hidden behind a flawless mask of laughs and smiles. This person was you, the one who’d do the most damage to the kindling flames of friendship. To your right, sat Odasuku, the mafia member who didn’t kill. He was truly a good man, protecting orphans.

Laughing among each other, the older brunette watched with soft eyes as Dazai argued with you. Engaging with him about suicide as Ango crumbled with dread. “Don’t encourage him! Lend me a hand here!” his eyes focused on Oda, who snapped back to full attention shrugging his shoulders.

“Let them have some fun, it’s mostly harmless.” Smiling you nodded, turning back to Oda with a smile, your eyes saw the red tint but ignored it. It would do no good to let feelings get in the way of bringing the mafia to their knees. To destroy ability users and bring onto the world eternal bliss and peace.

“See Odasaku get’s us Ango! Let us have fun!” Dazai nodded, spinning his stool to face the exhausted man.

This night was tenser than normal. Ango continued flicking his eyes over to you with uncertainty, building an edge that made you uncertain if he knew or not. Though suspicion came when Ango talked about his current deal, and things didn’t add up in your head. Unsure if you were paranoid, you let it all go by. Allowing Dazai to snap pictures of everybody. Laughing among each other with smiles as the invisible thread that tied you altogether was shared once more and for the last time.

One would betray the group, one would commit cruelty so cruel betrayal can’t coat it, and one would die. The joyful smiles would all come crumbling down with anguish.

You almost felt regretful, the smallest tinge of guilt pulsing within your chest, growing heavier with every moment that passed. Steps long and heavy as you place a location in a folder. Mind beginning to cloud as you think back to those nights. The joy you had experienced, the emotions which hang in the loose threads around your heart. Your feet dragged against cement, handing the paper to a man whose face blurred in your mind. An unimportant extra to your story. You only need to wait two days: Watching Ango turn and betray the Mafia, nearly getting Oda killed in the process. He woke up only to spill the betrayal to both Dazai and you. Of course, you already knew about it.

The next time you saw him, Oda was still alive. It was just the three of you sharing the fraying threads between each other. Laughing as if nothing was going to happen or had happened. When Ango appeared nobody spoke for a while. Not even Dazai, who had all the right to become angered and kill Ango. Despite the hypocrisy in the feeling, you felt a tug in your chest. Though his leaving words cracked into your mind, sunk into you like a parting threat, though all it stood as was an accusation. “You should look closely to the one at your right, Dazai.” His eyes only narrowed at you for a moment before his fingers brushed his glasses up. Panic seeping through your veins and leaving through the shaking of your pupils.

Yet, nothing happened. Neither questioned his words until the day came. Standing beside him as those children died. You hadn’t meant for this, were they not supposed to be left unharmed? Guilt began to eat you alive as you listened to the screams leaving his throat. Your voice betraying you as you choked on a strangled sobbing gasp. Your eyes watering as you watched his immeasurable pain, the sound continuing until his voice became so raw he couldn’t speak. You wished to reach out and comfort him, to apologize and beg him to take your life. You loved him, only now did you notice the tug. It wasn’t until Dazai appeared that you managed to force your feet over to them. Dazai looking at you, the van, then to Oda. Though his eyes were cast in shadows and behind his back, his hands clasped for the words he would say, he knew he’d never had a chance. He was a monster relishing in the dark, but Oda was a light brighter than the sun itself. It had always been you, and he knew you would always see Oda over him. “What about Y/n?!” The further Oda got, the more guilt ate you alive. Eyes turning over to Dazai with small tears pricking within them. For a moment, Oda paused, but he did not turn back to face you again.

The taunting words broke him, if you were there to see the expression, you may have dropped dead yourself. The betrayed expression, knowing the person who once played and cooked for the orphans had been the one to get them killed. He was angry, but that anger only fed into that betrayal as the strings connecting the four of you completely snapped. No longer could any of you be called friends or close. Ango, who had betrayed the mafia, you, who had gotten him killed, and Oda, the one who died.

Dazai held tight the tan coat over his shoulders, refusing to part with it. His mind set on becoming a good person. He’d wanted to ask you, but all he needed to do was remember your motionless expression, the tears, and Oda’s words to connect the dots. Though he wasn’t told by the man himself he knew, this was your fault. Oda died, and he blamed you for it. In truth, he had the right to. Ango merely confirmed it for him when he completed his favor for Oda; there was no sympathy or care when your name flowed from their lips. Both people were mortified, but disgusted with you. Even if Ango had triggered the start, it had been you who burned the ropes binding the group together.

Even years later, when Dazai worked in a detective agency and you reappeared in Yokohama as a new person yourself, he couldn’t help the twisting feeling in his chest. He had liked you, given up on pursuing you for Oda, and yet… you got him killed. No amount of pleas could make him forgive you. His eyes glared down as he turned away from you. Parting without sweet words, leaving you utterly alone. Reaching out for the old days where the four of you all laughed in the Lupin. When you asked for the grave's location, he’d reacted by slamming your head into the concrete below. “You don’t get to visit him.” His words shot like bullets, but he was right. What right did you have to see him, to visit his grave when it was your fault?

[parkers-gal]

yay! okay so I was thinking, what I'd the reader and Tom had a fight, could be over anything, but the reader was pregnant and a few years after, they bump into each other and they get back together. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.

this has been sitting in my inbox for a fat couple of months… sorry 😭

wc: 1.7k ! <3

—

“No, because you’re selfish and you can’t handle the fact that my life doesn’t revolve around you and your needs.” Tom spits out the words angrily, viciously, voice harsh and crisp.

You’re both frustrated beyond belief, and the bubble that had been overblown had finally popped, splattering your relationship and all the joyful aspects of it. Right now, you felt as if all that was left was the toxicity of two unbearable people who happened to love each other. You knew, deep down, that you loved each other enough to get through this, but with every passing moment, with every exchanged word, you realized at least one of you wouldn’t survive the damage.

“No, Tom. You’re selfish. You’re conceited and you only care about being a goddamn movie star. What happened to the family man, huh? What happened to staying tied down with me and your brothers?”

“Nothing happened to him! I’m still that person. I am a family guy.”

“Not to me, you aren't.”

“Well you’re not family!” He seethes through his teeth, anger radiating off of his short-tempered demeanor. You don’t even know how to react, so you spend the time soaking in the situation and how you should respond instead of actually doing it.

“You’re a fucking jackass. I asked when I could spend time with you and now you don’t even consider me as part of the family.”

“No,” He’s clear and concise even through the anger. “You asked when I’m going to stop living my life.”

“I said no such thing.”

“You didn’t have to! We both know that’s what you meant.”

“You’re not even on the same page as me anymore,” You scoff, arms crossing. “Seems like all this time in Hollywood made you forget that you’re not always the main character.”

“Fuck that, Y/N! Fuck! That!”

“No, Tom. Fuck. You.” You over-express your emotions, and after two more minutes of unbearable silence and screaming, he’s leaving your apartment just as fast as he arrived. You’re in shock, fingers shaking while you clear your throat, which is frayed and sore from all the yelling.

You sit back, elbows on your knees while your hands smoothen out your forehead. Tear after tear escapes your sobbing body, and eventually, you fall asleep on the couch.

In the weeks to come, you’ve realized the blow-out of a breakup could’ve been handled so much differently, but Tom hasn’t seemed to cool down at all — he’s petty enough to unfollow you on all social media, and you figure it’s time to let the hatred be mutual. You don’t touch your imessages, however, letting the love in those texts linger for a little longer.

Before you know it, you’re throwing up into the toilet boil, coughing violently at the action and spitting the bitter taste as best you can. You clean up, and when you check your phone, a small notification from your period tracker app alerts you that this is the second period in a row that has gone by without a hello.

Worried, you call Aisha, your closest friend and confidant. She’s over in no time, bringing along her girlfriend while you rant on the phone about your worries. They stop at the drugstore on the way.

The cause of your problems is discovered that day, and you collapse on the bathroom floor in agony, hands wiping at your face — through all the anger and fear and worry, you still love Tom. So much that Aisha even attempts to call Tom. But, alas, it’s sent straight to voicemail, and you realize he might’ve gone to extreme extents in blocking everyone.

You’re stuck going to the ultrasound with two lesbians and a frail old cat. Aisha is as supportive as ever, but as the doctor explains the process of each option, you feel sicker and sicker about the idea of getting rid of the fetus. In the end, you choose to keep the child you’re bearing, even if your ex-lover isn’t even in the picture.

Inevitably, the months pass, and as baby Charlie is brought into the wonderful world, you realize life as a single mother isn’t as scary as you thought it would be. In the first few months of your pregnancy, you’d kept tabs on what film Tom was doing and which was coming out next, but after the hormones and cravings, you’d decided to let the past sizzle and fade out in the way it was meant to all along.

It’s been almost three years since that fateful breakup, and Charlie is just reaching two and a half years old. You’re still single, and you’re okay with that. Charlie is all you need, all you’ve ever wanted, and the most important thing in your life. He’s young, and school is still a couple years away, but you enjoy having the toddler by your side, walking hand in hand with you because you’re his guardian, his provider, his only parent. You make him your only priority, because you don’t want him to grow up without anyone to love, or anyone to love him.

It’s hard, though. It’s hard because he’s a constant reminder of what didn’t happen, a constant reminder of what went wrong and of what you no longer have. You miss Tom more than words can express, and Charlie’s mop of brown curls reminds you of all the moments you’d run your fingers through Tom’s hair. You reminisce more than you’d like to, about Tom and your past, and though Charlie is technically half of the Brit, he’s one hundred percent yours. Because you’re the only one here, and that’s alright.

“Mummy,” Charlie tugs on your shirt’s hem while you move the shopping cart forward through the aisle. “Can we get the goldfish with superheroes?”

You jutt your lip out in a smile, nodding happily. “Of course we can, bub.”

As you step forward, you pit stop in the aisle, nearly tripping on the cart. You make direct eye contact with the man you used to love with your entire heart. The man who walked out with your heart and never gave it back. He’s staring right back at you, curls looking as fluffy as ever, face still a soft glow. Your breath hitches, and it’s then that you realize Charlie is still talking.

“Mummy?” He asks, and it’s just loud enough for Tom to hear. Harry, who’s beside Tom with an arm full of crackers and chips. Tom moves forward a few steps, hastily in an attempt to get more information.

“Uh, hi,” His smile is tight lipped as he stands at the other end of your shopping cart. Charlie shies away from strangers, standing behind your leg and holding your shirt with his grubby hands.

“Hi,” you return his awkward, reserved demeanor.

“Mummy who’s this?”

“‘Mummy?’” Tom has a follow up question for everything, and you internally panic, unsure on how to approach this.

You’d spent so long deciding how you should tell Tom that he was a dad. You spent hours debating on if you should pick up the phone or drive over just to tell him a truth you’ve kept inside for so long. You’ve abandoned social media, only sharing aspects of your life you can afford to post. Charlie is only occasionally on your page, but it’s not like Tom would see that, not after all that’s happened.

Your mouth opens and closes while you debate on how to reply. You’re physically incapable of saying your response, and it makes you even more nervous. You’re nervous on how he might react, what he’ll say, but most importantly, if he’ll stay.

“Is this…?

“My kid…” You fill in. “I- I mean our… our kid.” You pull your bottom lip between your rows of teeth, and you watch as Tom’s face undergoes thousands of expressions all at once. He’s surprised, shocked, happy, afraid, uncertain. You want the world to swallow you whole, suck you up so you don’t have to go through any of this again. But you don’t. Instead, you hold Charlie’s hand a little tighter.

“Our kid?” He drops a can of soup and you flinch at the loud noise.

“Mummy, who’s that?”

“That’s…” You don’t know how to answer his question. Instead, you lean down to his level, comfortingly and gently. “He’s a man.”

“Who’s that man?”

“He’s… your daddy.”

“I thought… no daddy?”

You purse your lips and furrow your brows. Tom’s watching the entire encounter from his place, but after a few beats, he steps forward, entering your bubble. Charlie doesn’t cower away this time, but looks up in curiosity.

“Hi, Charlie,” Tom extends his hand, adjusting his jeans so he can lean down just as you are, kneeling beside the young boy.

You look down, avoiding your worries and Tom’s gaze. He’s tearing up, and you want to cry too. You’re in a fucking supermarket, for god’s sake. This wasn’t how you envisioned any of this planning out, and though you’re mentally kicking yourself for letting it happen this way, you can’t help but feel like maybe this was meant to be. Written in the stars or whatever the folks say — you’re just grateful Charlie has at least a sliver of hope for two parents. Not that you can’t handle it, because you can, but you know someone like Tom wouldn’t want to miss something as important as this.

“I’m To- I’m…” He swallows thickly, making brief eye contact with you before looking back at Charlie. “I’m your dad.”

“Do you love my mummy?” He’s not shameless, but he’s still that shy little boy. “My friend says daddy’s love mommy’s so you must love mine, right?”

Tom lets a tear fall while he exhales a chuckle. He swipes the drop with the tips of his fingers, and the hand gripping Charlie’s squeezes it a little tighter. A glance in your direction is all it takes for him to answer Charlie’s question. “Yeah, buddy. I do.”

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[oneoftheprettynerds]

Welcome To The Darkside: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 1 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series

A/N: I just posted a story I know but I’m in love with this idea right now and this is my favourite fic right now. It’s going to be a three or four part fic I think and your support in any form: like, comment or reblog is appreciated greatly. Here is a piece of my heart right here.

Warning: Eventual Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, sort of Blood Kink I think, Cheap Tricks later.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can't ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can't get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Chapter 1 : Welcome to The Darkside

The gunshots around you frightened you more than anything in your life ever had. The merry, joyful ambience of the carnival was ruined in an instant. Screams around you provoked your panic-stricken form to gather your wits and run or hide. It wasn’t just you caught up in this dreadful situation, there was also someone you’d protect at any cost.

Picking your daughter up and setting her on your hip, you looked around for the way out. Who would have thought that open grounds were hard to get out of? Another wave of terror ran through you when the gunshots audibly neared and the crowd ran in random directions.

You decided to go along the way you recognised the games and shops at. You ran as fast as you could, checking on Grace in between to find her looking curiously all around but still more intent on eating her cotton candy than inspecting. You couldn’t be more thankful for kids' oblivion than at that moment in time.

A bomb explosion up ahead in your path made you halt in your tracks because you knew some of the attackers were scouting there. Turning back wasn’t an option, neither was crying and you were sure you closer to the exit this way. Another blast behind you took away the option of you retracing your path. You weren’t considering it but it gave you little comfort to have your options open.

As the shrieks and screeches grew tenfold, your best bet was to hide, the assaulters had already surrounded the field, the chaos around you informed you. Jumping through innumerable dead bodies, of kids and adults that ached your heart, and dodging bullets while laying low, you went inside a photo booth to hide.

This will not be in vain; you’d protect Grace no matter what.

The curtain to the photo booth provided cover from predatory eyes while the rest of the metal booth was quite safe against bullets you concluded hopefully.

You were just looking for a weapon to prepare for any adversity that might come your way, when the sound of crunching of pebbles made their way to your ears.

Failing to find a weapon in few seconds you opted to attack the intruder yourself when a voice reached your ears, “Mama?”

You puzzled your eyebrows and lowered your defences by just a bit when a toddler stumbled inside the booth, blonde haired and blue eyed. You were definitely not this girl’s mama but you grabbed the kid’s forearm and pulled her inside, shushing her gently and seating her beside Grace on the sitting bench inside. You were thankful Grace entertained her by offering her the pink cloud of sweetness.

You peeked outside but failed to find anyone else in 20 metre radii of you, nobody resembling the wandering kid nor looking for one. You did not know what you would do with another kid in your hands in this dire situation nor was it a wise decision to bring her inside and take her under your wing but you did not have it in you to leave an unsuspecting child, a mere four or three-year-old at that, during a calamity so extreme.

Your maternal instincts governed your thought process, imagining Grace to be in her shoes, all alone and discarded while a possible terrorist attack was happening. The kids’ corpses lying outside gave you no doubt that these children’s fate would be the same if found by the attackers.

A small tug in your dress made you look back and you found the azure eyed kid at your feet, offering you the street food you bought earlier while hugging your leg and observing you. Grace munched in the back silently, still happily eating and unaware.

You kneeled and whispered, “What’s your name, honey?” Maybe the girl understood the urgency, maybe she was just mimicking you but even she murmured in a low voice, “Sarah.”

You nodded, “Sweetie, I need you to sit there quietly and make no sounds, okay? We are playing a staying quiet game.” That was a stupid thing to ask of a kid but you hoped, you really, really hoped she would comply.

Her eyes widened in recognition of something as she eagerly asked, still in a hushed mumble, “Like I does for Dada in meekings?”

“Yes, you smart kiddo. Exactly that.” You replied with what you hoped was a convincing smile and ruffled her hair while nudging her towards her former seat. With kids, you knew a little encouragement went a long way to get them to do things. She whispered an ‘okay Mama’ and went about and sat.

You didn’t get to enjoy her obedience as the thud of pebbles crunching met your ears again. Your breath hitched; your intuition told you that this was not another kid confusing you for its parent.

Your eyes found a discarded piece of metal rod from the booth’s wrecked framework. You grabbed and hoped for the best, to save both the kids at your ability’s mercy.

Steve only saw red. The moment the first shot sounded in the air, he knew whom the assailants were, whom they were coming for. Going out tonight was a bad idea, a really reckless one indeed but when his daughter started bawling seeing the carnival’s lights from the car and wanted to get up and close, he couldn’t say no. He really tried to though, he really did.

It hadn’t been even a year since his wife died, but the father-daughter duo was getting by. He knew his wife took his daughter to the carnival and bought her things, toys and teddies, on every birthday of her own. It was a ritual his wife started, spending her birthday with her little offspring during the daylight and going out for a romantic dinner at the end of the day with her dear spouse. If only things could still be that way, could still stay the same.

When his wife turned out to be an elaborate spy all along, he was baffled. His professional side was, dare he say, impressed by the commitment to character but his personal side was beyond disappointed, disheartened in the worst way because his daughter was his most precious asset in this cruel world and that gift was given by such a treacherous person.

She begged and pled for mercy, to let Sarah have her mother and swore on her life that she quit her espionage journey when she actually fell in love but Steve didn’t trust a single syllable out of her filthy, deceiving mouth, not anymore.

He didn’t kill her though, because Sarah was his first priority no matter what. Her assassination was the work of his rival mob, ‘The Vice Kings’ led by the bastard Rumlow. It was an open invitation for war in the city, for them money came first and useless people had to die. They killed two birds with a single stone, git rid of a useless former member and successfully made a statement.

Then began the still happening rivalry between those Vices and his mob, ‘The Avenging Cartel’. The wound from his wife’s assassination was still fresh, he didn’t miss her as much as he had taken the hit to his pride. There had been a peaceful agreement until the brutal maiming of his spouse and now he was working more than ever, barely able to make time for his princess and that was his only regret, missing her childhood.

And now he felt more futile, his palette of emotions ranging from hues of ire to shades of dread. He couldn’t believe his entourage of trained professionals failed to monitor a two-year-old. He had just stepped aside to take a call, leaving her with his latest driver and three bodyguards. How could he be that clueless to not realise the imposters infiltrating his ranks, standing right there and selling away his location?

As soon as the sound of the first firearm shooting reached his ears, he leapt towards his daughter only to find her missing. His little minx thankfully escaped for one of her little adventures and successfully evaded these cheats, whom he shot right in the middle of the eyes when he glanced at the grenades packing in the coats’ undersides.

His moment of gratitude evaporated in mere seconds as he realised that the Vices now surrounded the entire area, their mission being his daughter’s abduction. If they wanted to kill both of them, they would have already, considering Steve’s distraction gave them quite too many openings. They wanted him to surrender, because mobs worked that way; only when one leader signed off his territories did it become the other party’s possession. If they just cut one head, another would grow in its place, a new leader would succeed the predecessor.

He sent emergency signals to both Barnes and Wilson, the only ones he could trust right now, summoning them with back-ups. The screams of the crowd did not ease him at all, piling on his burden and stress as he prayed for the first time ever, that by some miracle he would reach his daughter first in this field and she would safely be in his arms by the end of the night, not become a victim to what his enemies were planning.

He did have a tracker in her pendant but this realisation hit him later than he’d like to admit, the frustration clawing away his wits. The ground was now quite empty, piles of bodies scattered across the field abruptly where people became victims to the grenades, any person who failed to protect themselves, died. As he was pulling his phone out again, his eyes caught sight a flower bead. The same bead he and his daughter used to make a bracelet a month ago. She wore that everywhere, to day-care, while bathing, to birthdays.

The bracelet was obviously broken now but it was almost like a trail that led to his treasure, like in the Hansel and Gretel’s fairy-tale that Sarah loved. He followed with quiet steps, the beads far apart and some resting under the debris but they sure did lead him somewhere, and when he found the even the pendant in his path, he knew he had only the few beads to rely on.

Some thumps and crashes made him alert, his pistol ready, and when he neared carefully to a distorted metal framework of sorts, his eyes widened.

A young woman had a body in front of her lying on the ground. In a pool of scarlet it rested, still and unmoving while her breathing quickened, her eyes shining with tears that she tried too damn hard to confine to her eyes. He knew how hard the first kill always was, but one grows numb with increase in body count.

Brave women were his type and he would have been turned on by her courage, her hands stained red with whatever weapon she attacked with. Her soft facial features and her curves in the dress she wore were a show stopper for sure, and he would’ve been flirting with her if it was not for the brutal severity of the situation, his daughter missing and in possible danger.

His vigilant senses, courtesy of the epinephrin, picked up two things; the butterfly bead that rested in the door of the booth the woman stood at and the creep shadowing her from behind, ready to attack with a baseball bat he might have found in one of the other game shops.

Steve used his position behind the neighbouring booth to make a bull’s eye shot, the bullet going just an inch above the female’s shoulder and going across the creep’s head. The logo on the corpse’s leather jacket showed Steve he picked the right side to defend.

The sheer suddenness of the move caught the woman off guard as she dropped her weapon and twisted back to find the soulless eyes of her possible attacker staring at her. She quickly armed herself with her attacking rod once again and tried to trace the bullet back from its shooter, her eyes wide and calculating.

Steve decided it was time to interrogate, to find Sarah.

The graze of the bullet above your shoulder alarmed you and you stood dumbfounded only for an instant though. You were sure the bullet was meant for you but the thud of a body behind you, seemingly preparing to attack you proved you wrong.

Calming yourself, you still stood on the ball, because someone killing your attacker didn’t necessarily mean you were safe. With just a pull of the trigger, your fate could very easily be the same. You had to play this smart.

“Lower your weapon. I won’t repeat myself.” A husky voice called out, laced with seriousness which left no room for argument.

You did as he said, knowing that shabby rod was no match against the gun. He stepped out from his hiding position and gave away his location, steps slightly treading towards you. Your hands trembled, heart thumping a bit too loud while blood and sweat coated your frame.

When moonlight lightened his face, you saw his blonde luscious locks, slightly overgrown, a neatly trimmed beard darker than his hair and the cerulean blue eyes that were clear as crystal but shadowed with proficiency.

“Good, now did you see a kid around here? Blonde and blue eyes?”

His question didn’t surprise you, the gun barrel trained on you did. The previous man you had killed, that laid dead ahead of you had asked the same question. You did not know why they were after the toddler nor did you have the time to dwell on it. Time was of the essence now and he was expecting an answer.

The fact that he saved an unsuspecting lady was a plus point, but you also had to consider that he was threatening you all the same. But if that was his kid, it was understood, the resemblance between them was uncanny but that wasn’t enough proof. However, as your flickered to the man you killed, you noticed the logo on his jacket was the same as the one on your possible murderer’s jacket. It still wasn’t enough evidence but you had no choice, the man had a gun and you had two kids relying on you. At least he wasn’t on the bombing side.

“Yes, what is she to you?” You tried to be brave but you were sure he saw right through you.

“You don’t ask the questions here but this one I’ll answer. She is my daughter. Now, where is she?”  

“How do I know you’re not lying? I can’t just and her over to you!”

“Her name is Sarah; she is my carbon copy. She is wearing a pink dress with white flowers; pink crocs and her hair is in a ponytail with a white scrunchy. She had two white clips in her hair beside the ponytail. Enough proof?”

No, you could be a creepy paedophile for all I know.

You were still contemplating when he spoke again, “She’s my daughter and I know she’s in that booth beside you. I appreciate you trying to protect her I think but she’ll respond to me calling her. Sarah?”

The little toddler poked her head out, her eyes brightening in recognition and you heaved a sigh of relief involuntarily. Your maternal instinct made you anxious for kids you barely even knew. She ran towards her father shouting ‘Dada’ and jumped into his arms while he hid his gun. You almost snorted at that, tons of dead bodies surrounding you and he was worried about the gun?

He propped her up, hugging her tightly, and with what you knew now, he was scared to death and rightfully so.

Grace poked her head out and ran towards you now, hugging you from behind your legs and silently peeking at the mysterious human. You held Grace’s hand now, intertwining your fingers and felt relief after long. Even though there was no knowing that the man would help you two but you gave yourself comfort you weren’t alone here, not anymore.

Sarah turned and met your eyes again and whispered lowly, “Oops Mama, I think the games over! Sowwy!”

Steve’s eyes widened at that and you laughed at her innocence, feeling light. You played along with the kid, “It’s alright.” You didn’t want to play ‘Mommy’ anymore after that thinking it would offend her father but even, he chuckled, his laugh beautiful and boisterous.

Suddenly men dressed in black and armed with weapons ran about, skidding and crossing you to survey the area out. You shielded Grace once again but the father ahead of you didn’t even flinch. Noticing your unease, he came closer and put a hand on you arm, “I’m Steve and don’t worry, these are my men, the good guys.”

You nodded, not agreeing with his idea of good and bad but since you hoped he did acknowledge that he owed you one, you hoped none of these men would attack you. You introduced yourself and he nodded.

With Sarah on his hip, he started following one of his men and you followed along hoping to get to the exit. He even asked to drop you home but you refused, just wanting to get to the parking and put all these guns out of your kid’s sight. He tsked over his shoulder and you knew he would insist again later but for now he listened intently to the man he addressed as Buck.  

This Buck eyed you several times, not so discreetly, while Steve renounced the whole incident of some spies and whatnot. You closed your eyes, not wanting to eavesdrop and just wanting to relax but you could do neither right now. They were after Sarah; you had presumed right.

Sarah made grabby hands from over Steve’s shoulder while Grace slept soundly in your arms, maybe jealous of her. She pouted and then slowly began her lower lip began to tremble. A whine escaped her mouth as she started bawling. Steve stopped to shush her but she continued screeching, “I miss Mama!” and tried to get away from Steve and jump into your arms. Buck looked surprised while Steve’s eyes pleaded yours and you nodded and gave Grace to her and took Sarah in your arms, gently shushing her and patting her back. She drooled in the crook of your neck but that was nothing new and quietened down. You didn’t want to give Grace away but you couldn’t see another child so miserable, not when you had one of your own.

Steve and ‘Buck’ observed you, not saying anything so you broke the silence. “I’m sorry she confuses me with her mother, I hope she doesn’t get offended by this.”

“She’s no more.” Steve looked down and you cursed yourself for breaking the silence, make the situation more awkward and unbearable.

“I’m sorry.” Well that was better than joking about how Grace didn’t have a father either.

“Don’t be, she deserved what she got.” Steve mumbled and continued walking with ‘Buck’, lightly patting Grace and kissing her forehead.

The peck should have bothered you but you were too engrossed by his words to eavesdrop further or check on Grace. What did he mean she deserved it? You didn’t even want to think of the probability of him killing her. With all the soldiers that surrounded you, you suddenly realised he was capable of more than you thought and you felt stupid for feeling safe with him when you did. He was a leader of sorts, a person with unimaginable power and you had dived headfirst in the kind of things you should avoid at all costs. Even though you hadn't crossed him or weren't on his bad side, getting involved was a mistake.

You learnt this lesson the hard way soon enough.

[revirushifaa]

A female adult MC presenting positive pregnancy tests to the brothers and their reactions please! Thank you!

-🦊

Awww, how cute! Bros be Papas now <333

Enjoy!

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You Are Gonna Be a Father

Lucifer and MC:

*He's in his study once again full with paperwork, when there's knocks in his door. Pauses for a moment and calls out.

"Come in, it's open."

*MC comes in and he immediately smiles, seeing his lover,

"Hello, my love, came to visit me?"

"Luci dear, there's something I must tell you..."

*Moments of curiousity with Lucifer as MC comes in and presents him a tube. The demon furrows his brows when he sees it, not sure what that meant.

"You're gonna be a father, Luci!"

*His pen falls from his hand and he's in shock. Blinks several time, the new information not processing quick. A father? A... a father?!

*For moments there is an awkward silence in the room and MC believes he's not thrilled and she's worried that he doesn't like the sound of it.

*However, pride be forgotten, Lucifer rises from his chair and engulfs MC in his arms spinning her around and looking overjoyed, like a child on Christmas Eve.

"Oh, these are the best news I've heard, can't wait for my firstborn to come!"

*Doesn't shut up for the next nine months about his firstborn. Papa Luci is happy Papa.

Mammon and MC:

*Is planning what to steal next from his brothers so he can sell it and gain more grimm. He's stopped however by MC.

"Hello, gold. What's up?"

"Mammon, darling. We need to talk."

*He hasn't done anything wrong, please don't start lecturing him too, he's had enough of Lucifer's lectures to have his lover also doing that.

*But he blinks when he's shown a tube. What is this? He has no idea until MC speaks up.

"You're gonna be a father, Mammon."

*The whole world stops spinning for a moment. ...Father...? Him a father? A-are you trying to mess with him?

"Umm, come again, goldy locks?"

"I have a baby forming inside me, you managed this and we'll have a family out of us. Mammon... you made this possible."

*Drops everything he's intending to sell and hugs his lover as tight as possible, enough to raise her up the ground, he's crying happy tears actually.

"Goldy locks, sweetums, that's great! There's gonna be a Mini Mammon here!!"

*And for the next nine months his brags about 'Mini Mammon' and brings the baby up to every conversation, he's gotta be a proud papa.

Leviathan and MC:

*He's there in his own world, playing a game that just came recently, he hears the door knock, but he doesn't demand the password, he knows by the rythym of the knocks, it's his lover.

"Come in, sugarcube. It's open, join me in a game!"

*MC enters and walks over to him, with a smile on. Levi wonders why she is so happy.

"Levi... got news for you."

*She pulls out a tube and hands over to Levi who's lost in the clouds. What is this? This doesn't look like one of those mini console games.

"Um... sugarcube, I might not be good at normie's stuff. You're not a normie of course! I mean the normie world's stuff in general."

"You're gonna be a father, Lebaby!"

*Uh.... he's sent into a frozen state, his console drops from his hold and he opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of the water.

*It takes a long while for him to react from this new information. He locks his gaze on MC's and puts his hands on her shoulders.

"Sugarcube, are you telling me...?"

"There's a blessing growing inside me, and you're the result of it. I'm so happy to have such blessing inside me."

*Ok, that's enough to put him out of unease and start hugging his lover close, in his own way telling her how much this has put him happy, while still unsure if he's gonna make a good father.

*He builds up the nursery ocean-themed and is certain that his child is going to be an otaku just like it. During nine months he's worked harder to achieve this.

Satan and MC:

*Reading as always, the Avatar of Wrath sits on the library when MC enters the library and she covers his eyes from behind. Knowing that his lover does this all the time, he doesn't go on alert.

"Hello, kitten. Nice surprise as always."

"I have an even better surprise, mon chaton."

*She gives him a tube and he blinks at it, eyes widening as he has a bit of a clue of what this is all about.

"Kitten, don't tell me...?!"

"Correct, you're gonna be a father, Satan!"

*His book falls off his hold and he stands up, quickly pulling MC into his hold. There's a warm look on his face.

"Wonderful news, kitten. Let me give you a surprise of my own."

*He kisses her and shows her how happy he is. For one he did want to try a family with his beloved, wishes always are granted and now his wish is granted. He'll have a family of his own. He reads anything, so he's read a book on child care so, he's prepared.

*During the next nine months he's reading to his beloved pregnant tummy, puts his ear on it and calls his to-be born firstborn 'his kittling'. Super happy cat Papa.

Asmodeus and MC:

*The beauty of the house is once again taking care of his image, with the most high-class beauty products.

"Beautiful? Can I enter?"

"Why, of course, my darling, enter. My room is your room too, after all we're married!"

*She enters and presents Asmo with the tube and he cocks his head to the side. Was this a tube of cream for his perfect skin?

"Is this for my skin, dear?"

"*giggles* No, silly! You're gonna be a father!"

*Asmo.exe has stopped working. What... what...?! Father? Him?!

"Is this true?! I'm gonna have a child with my ethereal beauty? Oh sweetie... *sobs*"

*MC cleans up his happy tears as he is the most emotional of all brothers. He's in a joyful moment there, he sobs as he hugs his beloved closer to him, getting his body wash cream all on her.

*He's there buying all the beauty products for babies even months before their birth but he just wants them to be just like him; beautiful. His firsborn gotta be just an Asmo Jr.

Beelzebub and MC:

*Is about to go to munch on whatever that there is in the kitchen when his beloved and runs up to him and hugs him ever so tightly.

*He smiles and hugs her back, nuzzling her and feeling like his meal will be wonderful because he has MC with him.

"Hey, Bite. Did you get good news on your medic appointment? I know how scared of the doctor you are, but I can only hope it went out good seeing your behavior."

"It did! Got some news for you, my sweet Gluttonous!"

*She pulls out a tube and lets the demon see it and she's wearing a very happy smile. But Beel doesn't catch up on it, what is this, a marshmallow? He opens his mouth about to take a bite of it.

"No! Beel this isn't food! You're gonna be a father!"

*What? For real? A little baby will be his. He of course knows babies can't be eaten, he wouldn't do that. He feels happy. He picks up his bride and twirls her around.

"This is the only think greater than food that I can think at the moment! I'll be a dad to our child. Let's celebrate it big!"

*Beel spends the next nine months saving food like a bear in hibernation but if he's firstborn is gonna be just as gluttonous as he is, then he must keep them fed and good. Of course only bottle of milk for the first months of their life.

Belphegor and MC:

*Haaah. Sleep, sleep. Sweet sleep. Though his sleep is interrupted by his beloved, gently nudging him awake. If she had something to tell him that was important, she's the only one allowed to wake him up.

"Hm? Oh it's you, pillow. What's up?"

*Slowly sits up, smiling gently at her, with sleepy eyes, waiting for her to speak up why she woke him up.

"Snoozy, Snoozy, there's something I must tell you before you go to bed! Ready? You're gonna be a father!"

*The news wake him up quickly, he's not nodding off anymore. He blinks and locks his gaze into her gaze.

"You mean...?"

"Yes, my sweetheart. A little one is forming inside me and they'll be ours in a few months."

*MC is attacked in a firm hug by a happy Belphie who feels the immense happiness now. Yes, he's happy, because he just got a family out of his dearest, these are wonderful news. His small one might be just like him in sleep, so it'll be quite nice to have a sleep buddy.

*Belphie then buys all pillows and soft blankets for his little one when they come to his life. Claiming that his baby needs the softest of beds to sleep. And to his credit, babies do sleep a lot, so just the perfect sleep buddy to ask.

[tennessoui]

#18 Prompt: Ohio in Pre-Slash,16/17 year old Anakin has had a crush on his Master for awhile but knows/thinks Obi-Wan would never return his feels. He's almost completely given up and is think about maybe finding a substitute outlet. Then Obi-Wan gets amnesia while they are stranded on an uninhibited planet. Their Locator Beacon only giving off a general area. Obi-Wans amnesia leaves out the Code, and that he's Anakins teacher so the Boy calls him Master so he MUST be Obi-Wans pet/slave.

ahh so i could easily see this going dubcon and smutty and if i were better i might have gone that way too but instead i made some pining fluff but i hope you still like it!!

18. Waking Up With Amnesia (Hurt!Obi-Wan, underage!pining!Anakin, misunderstandings)

Anakin does his level best to land the ship gently, he really does. But he can’t work miracles here, and the locals had damaged their hull quite effectively when they had shot at them as they descended from atmo.

Friendly negotiations, yeah right. When Anakin gets his hands on these guys, he’s gonna show them exactly how friendly Anakin can be. But first he has to make the landing. And then he has to make sure his master is okay. Failure on either of these fronts is not an option.

His master had just gotten up to go to the back to grab their identification. They had been talking, seriously for once and without anger or impatience laced through their words--he’d said he was proud to have him as his padawan, that Anakin had grown into a young man anyone would be fortunate to know.

Anakin had turned to watch his master leave, his shields raised high but his eyes stripped bare. He’d be eighteen in two months. Somehow he’d made it through most of his time as a Padawan already. With his impending adulthood comes the realization that he has no more time for words of anger or scorn, not directed to his master at least. In a few years at most, Obi-Wan would be free of him by all Jedi rules and obligations.

Now more than ever he has to convince his master to want to keep him around. It’s a grueling task, made more difficult by how terribly difficult Anakin had been in the last, say, nine years. What with his pod-racing, his temper, his pride, his stubbornness--his huge and achingly obvious hero worship turned crush on the older Jedi.

But he can’t lose Obi-Wan, can’t even stand the idea of his master leaving him. The idea of missions alone while his master cavorts around the galaxy without hm--with another Padawan?--is absolutely intolerable. No. He has to convince the Jedi to want him as more than a Padawan. To want him as a friend, as a partner.

(In his wildest fantasies, as more than that, too.)

But now, as if the Force has heard his thoughts and is punishing him, the ship is crashing and his master has been hurt somewhere behind him but he can’t check without losing control of the vessel completely. He just has to--land--on this wide stretch--of karking sand.

It’s not his best landing, but they’re on the ground at least. The first thing he does is, of course, throw off his own landing protector and rush to Obi-Wan’s side, pulling his body out of the mangled remains of their ship and into the light and heat of outside. His master is unconscious, but he doesn’t seem to be bleeding terribly nor fatally. Now, and only now, he thanks the Force.

That’s when he notices the startling wet and spreading red across his master’s usually pristine robes.

Never mind, he tells the Force, fumbling with Obi-Wan’s belt in a panic. He needs to treat the wound, which means he needs to see it, which means he needs to get these outer robes off, as well as his master’s inner tunic.

“If I’m ever undressing you again, I swear to the Force you better be cognizant,” he mutters to himself as he rips at the fabric of the thin undershirt. “So many layers and not one of them protects you from debris, how is that fair?” He continues as he pushes Obi-Wan to the side far enough so he can see the man’s bare shoulder and the cut itself. It doesn’t look deep, at least, but it is long, spanning at least Anakin’s entire hand.

How much bacta do they have? Is their distress beacon working? Does Anakin want it to be working? Half of him thinks no, because what if the locals show up to finish them off? Half of him thinks yes, because he’d love to get his hands on the creatures responsible for Obi-Wan’s current state now.

It’s a very un-Jedi thought, but Anakin can’t even feel bad for it. He goes back into the wreckage of their ship--and he knows already he’s going to hear about this from the Council, as if anyone else could have done better--and grabs their first aid kit.

There’s bandages and bacta and that’s the important thing, he reminds himself. He’ll fix up the wound and then worry about why Obi-Wan hasn’t woken up yet.

But. Well. There’s not a great way to patch it up. The only thing he can think of is to give Obi-Wan’s form a solid thing to lean his head against while keeping his lower back pressed against the durasteel. It’s an awkward angle, but any other would result in Obi-Wan getting a face full of sand, and Anakin wouldn’t do that to his worst enemy, let alone his master.

Look. There’s no delicate way to put it. He straddles his lap and brings his head so it can rest on his chest as he works.

Of course this is when Obi-Wan begins to stir. Anakin tightens his hold on him and tries to send feelings of relief and calm through the Force. He needs Obi-Wan to not startle away from him until he finishes putting on the bacta. They can be embarrassed about this later. They’ll laugh about this later.

“You’re fine, Master,” Anakin murmurs at what he decides to take as a garbled word of confusion. “I crashed the ship, you can punish me later.”

Anakin can feel Obi-Wan’s signature spike around him, but he’s too intent on his task to figure out what specifically his master is feeling.

“What--” Obi-Wan mumbles, hand coming up to brace his head.

Anakin leans back as he finishes, tapping gently on Obi-Wan’s cheek until the man lifts his eyes to look at him. They’re dazed and confused.

“Master?” Anakin asks.

Obi-Wan’s brow furrows. “Master?”

Now Anakin’s getting very worried. “How many fingers am I holding up?” he demands.

Obi-Wan blinks. “You’re...not holding up any fingers,” he says, words becoming clearer the longer he talks. “I’m sorry

“Master,” he says slowly. “How are you feeling?” “Confused,” Obi-Wan says. “And...worried. And sick. Why are you calling me that?” “Calling you what, Master?”

“That. Master,” Obi-Wan looks sick just saying the word. Anakin scrambles up off his lap and kneels in the sand in front of him.

Panic clogs at his throat, making it even harder to force words out. “This isn’t a funny joke, Master.”

Now Obi-Wan looks distressed. “I’m not joking!” He looks wildly around and then clutches at his head in pain. “I don’t know who you are. Who I am. And I need you to stop calling me master because it’s making me feel sick to my stomach knowing that apparently I’m the kind of person who owns slaves because I know it’s wrong.”

Anakin blinks. It’s a lot to process. “You don’t remember?” is the first thing he says. He wants to say anything or anyone or perhaps the Jedi Order you’ve been a part of since you were a baby, but instead what comes out is, “Me?”

“I don’t remember myself, how am I supposed to remember you? Did you expect me to?”

Anakin stays quiet because well. Yeah. He hadn’t thought anything could really truly make his master forget him. Not time, not distance, not anything. Looking at Obi-Wan looking at him now without any sort of familiarity feels like all of his worst nightmares coming true.

His master glances down at his half-dressed state and then back to Anakin suspiciously.

It’s a harsh expression without the fond exasperation that usually hovers in the back of Obi-Wan’s eyes when he sees Anakin.

“What were you doing?” Obi-Wan asks him. “Why were you...touching me?”

“Nothing!” Anakin yelps, knowing that is the worst response he could have given. “I mean. I was tending to you, Master.”

He winces as soon as the words are out of his mouth. Ah, kark.

“Don’t call me that,” Obi-Wan snaps, looking furious. Anakin wants to explain that he can’t not, that Master is as much as Obi-Wan’s name to him as Padawan is Anakin’s. “You mean to say I’m such a terrible person that I don’t just own a slave but a pleasure slave?”

Anakin thinks he must be blushing to the roots of his hair. “No!” he yells, much louder than he intends. “No, you don’t own me, M--Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan mouths his name as if it’s a new word. Anakin is about to break into hysterical laughter.

“I’m your apprentice,” Anakin forges ahead. “We use Master as a term of respect for our teachers.” He adds, “I was tending to your wound,” just so Obi-Wan doesn’t next think that Anakin was trying to take advantage of him or something. There’s only so many misconceptions he can deal with in one sitting, especially with the amount of panic that’s raging through his brain.

Obi-Wan looks achingly hopeful. Anakin supposes that without the memory of years of emotional suppression training, he’ll be able to see what his master is feeling more easily. He wonders if he could get Obi-Wan to laugh or smile. He’d kill for one unbridled grin from the other man, although there’s nothing joyful about the situation they’re in right now.

“You’re the best man I know, Obi-Wan,” Anakin tells him softly. “I know you don’t remember right now, but I promise you’d never do that to someone. You’re good. And honest and brave and kind and…” he trails off and looks away, crossing his arms over his chest as he’s hit with the reminder of everything he stands to lose if Obi-Wan’s memory loss can’t be undone. “We’ll get this fixed. It’s just temporary. I won’t let it be permanent.” He says the last part fiercely and mostly to himself. “I won’t.”

Obi-Wan smiles, just slightly and reaches out a hand. Perhaps his need to comfort a distressed Anakin is simply instinctive. “I believe you,” he whispers back. “I trust you.”

Anakin beams. And then he thinks of something else. For a second, he wonders about whether or not he should ask the question that’s burning up his mind, but he needs to know now that he’s asked himself. “Ma--Obi-Wan, why did you think that I was. Um. A pleasure slave?”

Obi-Wan’s blush is a thing of wonder. It could single-handedly keep them both warm on Hoth itself.

“Because of how we were positioned when we woke up,” Obi-Wan mumbles, burying his face in his hands. “And because you look like that.” The last part is said from behind his fingers.

Some sort of unfamiliar fire lights itself in Anakin’s stomach. “I look like what?” he prompts, barely daring to breathe.

But this Obi-Wan must not remember why he shouldn’t always be straightforward with the truth, especially to Anakin who he’s said he trusts.

(Obi-Wan trusts him!)

“Beautiful,” Obi-Wan says, so hushed and embarrassed that Anakin almost can’t hear it over the sound of his heart beating.

Inappropriately for their current situation, Anakin wants to crow in victory as the flame inside him grows larger.

Obi-Wan trusts him. At least on some level. Instinctively. And a part of him, stripped of his Jedi code and teachings and lifestyle, thinks that Anakin is beautiful.

He puts a name to the burning in his chest. It’s hope.

[yazthebarbie]

Alewife

draco malfoy x reader 

(based off of the song alewife by clairo) 

it was your duty to take care of your childhood best friend. you knew all he went through and knew you were his safe space. when your mother gets ill things begin to go downhill for you, but you keep up appearances as to not worry draco. eventually, you break. 

(reader is slytherin, can be based in whichever year you’d like, very angsty but w kinda fluffy ending!) (this is also the first imagine i’ve written in years, and the first i’ve written on this account. so i apologize if my writings’ a bit rusty or there’s some errors.) words: 1.4k 

tw: lots of tears, cussing, anxiety attack, mentions of self harm (hitting, scratching) 

-

With tired eyes you watched your companions goof around and gossip about the latest drama. It wasn’t just the Slytherin table with positive energy that day, the entire Great Hall was bustling with energy. Nothing in particular was going on, but it just seemed like life was going great fro everyone. Maybe it was because winter break was coming up, or for once their school wasn’t under attack from the powers of some evil. But either way, everyone was happy. 

Aside from you.

Every so often you would give a half-hearted laugh at the occasional joke, or nodded when someone asked you a question. But lately it was getting harder for you to keep up the act. Inside, you were tired beyond imagine. Ever since your mother had fallen an ill to a mysterious unknown illness a month ago- life had taken a dark, dramatic turn for you. She wasn’t getting better at all. Each time you received a letter from her, it seemed her handwriting got shakier and her normally precise letters were loopy and falling off the lines. It was clear something was desperately wrong but there was nothing the healers could do about it. They didn’t have to tell you, you knew that your mother didn’t have much time left to live. Every little part of you hoped that somehow she’d be able to pull through the rest of the year so you’d be able to enjoy the winter and summer holiday with her before anything drastic happened. 

The sound of deep laughter felt like music to your ears. Draco was messing around with Blaise and Theodore, all of them in a stitch of laughter over something you weren’t sure of and couldn’t remember. 

Lately, Draco seemed to be beaming. With you by his side, winning the latest Quidditch game, and Potter not being smothered with attention for once, he was very content with the way things were going. You admired the way his platinum blonde hair messily rested at his ears, shaping his face nicely. His jawline was sharp and accentuated from the angle you were facing him at. The rosy tint to his cheeks complimented the paleness of his skin. Every few minutes he would squeeze your hand, a good sign. Seeing him happy, made you happy. Even if it was for a second. It was extremely rare seeing him smile so much in public, you didn’t want to ruin that for him and burden him with your issues. 

Your beloved snow white owl, Hydrangea, dropped a letter in front of you. Straightening your back with a smile, you picked up the thin envelope with excitement. You hadn’t expected mother to respond this quickly. 

As you began to read, your originally joyful expression became crestfallen. Your face twisted and it looked like you were in pain. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Daphne asked, noticing your face first as she was sitting across from you. Her question caused the rest of your nearby table mates to divert their attention and look at you, including Draco who sat at your right side. 

You swallowed, eyes flickering to Draco nervously before cracking a small smile, “Yeah I’m fine, my stomach is killing me with these cramps, though.” 

The response seemed to satisfy everyone’s nosiness and they went back to their mindless chatter. Draco, however, looked at you strangely. That boy knew you like the back of his hand and he wouldn’t fall as easily for an excuse like that. Part of you hoped he didn’t remember you had already had your period last week. 

“Speaking of, I have to go to the bathroom,” You faltered, shakily getting out of your seat. Before anyone could ask anymore questions, you were already out the Great Hall. The speed walk pace shifted to a full on sprint as your feet carried you through the Slytherin common room and into your dorm. 

Everything was happening all at once. Thoughts, worries, fears- all violently shaking and interrupting each other. Reality didn’t seem real at this point, it was like life had stopped but was flying by you at the same time. Tears blurred your vision as you slammed the bedroom door behind you, falling to your knees. The news finally seemed to come crashing down.

“We send you our condolences and are deeply sorry for your loss,”

Those words on the paper weren’t real, there was no way. It wasn’t supposed to happen this quickly. 

“Your mother, M/N L/N, passed away early this morning at 3:37 AM.” 

You started choking violently at your lack of breath. Her last moments and you didn’t even get to spend them with her. 

“She asked us to tell you something that wasn’t stated in the will.” 

Her last words.

“I love you so, so much N/N. Please do not cry, be happy. I hope I was a good mother to you. You were the best daughter I could ever ask for and more. I am okay with going now, because just knowing I had you in my life while I was here is enough for me.” 

You’d never felt your heart physically break in half before up until today. You felt like you had failed her by not being there. You wanted to go home early to spend time with her but she had reassured you she would be fine until you came home for winter break. 

Fuck, fuck. This was all your fault wasn’t it? The more you smacked yourself, the more the pain reminded you this was real. 

“Y/N? Where- holy shit,” 

You looked back and your eyes made contact with a pair of blue-grey ones. Draco stood over you, frightened and concerned at what he was seeing. Pulling out his wand, he mumbled a spell to lock the door from unwanted intruders before kneeling down next to your shaky body. 

Despite the other emotions you were going through, you felt embarrassed. You’d never broken down like this before, especially not in front of the boy you’d tried so hard to be strong for all these years.

His arms gently wrapped themselves around you, lifting you up from off the floor and onto your bed. “Don’t move, okay?” He rushed into your bathroom, coming back with a soaked hand towel. You were confused until he lifted one of your arms, softly rubbing the towel against your forearm. That was when you noticed the blood trickling out of your skin. You hadn’t realized you were in such a deep state of panic that you had begun scratching yourself. 

When he went over a particularly deep scratch, you took in a sharp breath. Draco looked up at you quickly, pulling the towel away from your skin. “I’m sorry, am I hurting you?” He whispered, almost as if he spoke any louder you would break into a million little pieces. 

You barely shook your head, too busy staring into the distance as salty tears rolled down your face. For a second you glanced at his face and saw the heartbreak in his eyes. 

After tending to your wounds, Draco almost hesitantly wrapped his arms around you. Not as if he didn’t want to- but he wasn’t entirely sure how. He was acting partially off instinct, and partially off of how you would comfort him in the past. He cleared his throat and gathered up the courage to ask the question you knew was looming in the air. 

“What happened?” 

At this you began to cry again, pointing towards the letter soaked with tears on the floor. Using his wand to bring it over, he read it. Not once, not twice, but three times. It took him a second to process the shock of it all himself. You knew your mom was like a second mother to him. In fact, she was the one who brought you and Draco together in the first place.

Draco’s grip around you tightened as he set down the envelope. “I’m so, so sorry, love.” 

You wailed into his chest, squeezing him like he would disappear if you didn’t. His hands rubbed comforting circles in your back. The smell of his expensive cologne and peppermint breathe put you more at ease, you choked sobs slowly turning into into small sniffles. He whispered sweet nothings to you, telling you that he would stay by your side and he wasn’t going anywhere.

“I’m here, darling. I’m right here.” 

He was all you had left now. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but it felt like hours of you just laying on his chest. All the crying had worn you out, and your eyelids began to flutter. 

“Draco?” You mumbled in a disoriented state, into his now damp shirt.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” 

As you drifted into slumber, feeling safe in his arms, he replied. 

“I love you, too.”