#but my brain is full of bees tonight

[invisiblerambler]

I have an incredibly complex relationship with the city state and region where I grew up.

Especially when it comes to the way that people clearly, whether they know it or not imply I escaped in some way.

Which to be clear I did. What I did and how I accomplished it was exceedingly calculated and all I had wanted for as long as I can remember.

But it also makes my stomach hurt because a lot of people aren't that lucky or they don't choose to leave. I have a multitude more compassion for those people than I once did. In some ways I envy the way they were able to grow in the place they were planted in a way I never could.

I guess if you consider me from California than I'm growing where I was born but not where I was planted.

Regardless, I feel this overwhelming need to explain and defend where I'm from now that I've left.

For better and worse I feel a fondness now I never could before. I would not thrive there. I should not live there full time probably ever again but I feel indebted to the ways it shaped me.

It's influence on me feels outsized now in positive and negative ways. Finally being in an environment entirely culturally different and removed from that I have room to heal a lot of things. I've been away over a year but LA was culture shock in a way that gave me ultimate perspective.

The familiarity makes me want to go back. The shock to my nervous system of doing everything I never have has been a constant fight to not want to drop everything and move back (even if that realistically isn't an option).

Going back would mean shutting up all the voices including the one coming from inside my own body about the 20ish years I spent there.

Living through this season has been extraordinarily complex. I miss so many things I never expected and frankly took for granted now being away going on two years.

On one hand I would not trade any of what I have now. I am living the life that any version of me until very recently wouldn't have dreamed of, on the other hand the grief I feel is immense and sometimes I don't know where to put it or how to hold both in my hands.

I have said yes to so much this summer. In a good way. I have so many opportunities at my fingertips and I want to take advantage of all of them as much as I can. But that has definitely come at the price of avoidance. When you're too busy to think it's easier to let things fall by the wayside. Bury the emotional flashback and use new experiences as an excuse to heal your inner teen instead of sitting with the emotions that brings up.

This summer has been healing. I am swimming in the grattitude of the people that got me here and the position I find myself in.

I also am trying not to drown in the realization of everything I put to the side to get here. I let a lot of things go unprocessed or more accurately processed them only enough to get to where I needed to be.

My body isn't allowing that anymore. Everything is painfully near the surface and I'm trying to cover up the scar tissue.

I'm not sure how I'll look back on this period of time. I have had the summer of my life. One of the best and most exciting I have ever had and holding that with the knowledge of how much I am processing frankly sucks. I want this to feel joyful and uncomplicated. I want it to feel good and fulfilling and healing. I know life isn't that way. I know that I am reaching a point if I haven't already where I need to consider what my life might look like and not just my career.

I don't know how to live if my career isn't at the center. If it isn't the fight of my life to get what I want. To let something else take the front seat. I am excited and terrified to find out. I am not changing completely my career is still for better or worse vastly important to me, but I don't think I need to fight for it for a second. I can let things unfold with gentle guidance instead of active steering. It will all be fine.

[blackjackkent]

I have to imagine Karlach has been MORE THAN A LITTLE WORRIED about what Hector has been doing all this time or whether Lorroakan's tower just fucking vaporized him; it almost did it once before.

-----

As Hector re-emerges through the exit portal and back into the tower, he can hear shouting echoing through the whole place.

"Oh, good, you're back," Rolan says dryly, looking up. "They've been rather worried about you."

Hector goes to the railing and peers down towards the lower floors, catching Gale's voice drifting up from below. "I don't know! It's certainly some sort of arcane teleportation system, but it would require quite a bit of study to determine exactly where--"

"Then do not be exact, Dekarios." Jaheira's voice now, matter-of-fact, somewhat strained. "We need only a direction, to begin."

"I am, of course, working to provide any information that I can," Gale answers. "But for a wizard of Lorroakan's power, such a system could have a range of anywhere up to--"

"HECTOR!!!!!!" Karlach's shout cuts across all other discussion, echoing through the whole building. "DAMN IT, HEC, WHERE ARE YOU???"

"Calm yourself, Karlach," Jaheira says. "We will find him, have no doubt of it."

"Calm?" Karlach snaps. "You saw what those portals did to him before! Almost fucking killed him! This whole place is a fucking death trap designed by a bloody sadist!"

"You need not tell me so," Jaheira says tightly. "It is not the first such place I have walked through. But we will find him, and you do him no good by raging at nothing."

"Well, what the fuck else am I supposed to do? I swear to all the gods, if this place hurt him, I'll wake Lorroakan back up and kill him again!"

"It's all right!" Hector calls down before Jaheira can respond. "It's all right-- I'm here. I'm up here!"

Karlach's head swivels around and she peers up at him through the tangle of floating platforms that line the tower. "Hec? Oh, thank fuck--" There's a scrabbling noise as she begins to scramble up the few levels separating them; with a grunt, she leaps and vaults the last railing, crashing into him and pulling him into a tight embrace.

"Hells, Hec, you can't scare me like that..."

"Sorry," he says, muffled against her shoulder. "I didn't mean to."

She draws back, presses her forehead against his with her eyes closed, takes a slow breath and lets it out. "Next time you don't get to press any scary-looking buttons without me too, all right?"

He smiles slightly. "Deal."

[mariabtsos]

Nuts - ||k.nj||

Description: how had Namjoon ended up in this situation? What do you mean he had to actually make a connection instead of fucking your brains out?

Genre: Oneshot, Non-idol AU, Rapper!Namjoon x Makeup Artist f!reader, strangers-to-lovers, Too Hot To Handle inspired, SMUT SMUT SMUT!! Hopeful ending. 

Warnings: Namjoon is a bit of a player and full of himself, just smut overall with a hopefully balanced plot, eventually he’ll get back in touch with his feelings, this might be the longest oneshot I've written? Oral sex f receiving, fingering f receiving, grinding, slight exhibitionism.

Word Count: 8.5k+

Namjoon thought himself a reasonable person, horny, but reasonable. He never needed to go to extremes to get what he wanted, whether it be an artist he liked to feature on a song, or fuck the sexy girl that kept bringing champagne over to his table at club. She was leaning against the wall of some small maintenance closet, her back was arched as he pounded into her relentlessly.

Once they finished, he could tell she would want more, doing a not so subtle attempt at slipping her phone number into Namjoon’s back pocket. He smirked and walked out after fixing himself up, knowing full well this would be the last time he’d see her, Namjoon never came back for seconds once he had them. It was nothing against the women he slept with, he didn’t used to be this way, but a few instances of heartbreak and a toxic cycle of make up sex can lead one to denounce love all together and give into pure carnal desire.

Such was Namjoon’s case.

When he arrived at his table he noticed his manager, Jin, and his two best friends, Hoseok and Yoongi, did not receive him with the usual knowing smiles, granted, this time he hadn’t waited long to ditch them for some pussy. Namjoon usually gave it about an hour or two into an outing before temporarily or permanently leaving his friends, but he supposed tonight he really needed a quick fix.

“Why do y’all look like you’re mad at me?” he asked, taking a seat and picking at the chips and salsa that had been placed at the center of their table.

The VIP section of the club was nice, it had a great mix of different low and high-grade celebrities, Namjoon liked to think he was making his way up from the low end of the spectrum, now that he’d been picked up a small label and his mixtape would go from SoundCloud to mainstream platforms.

“We’ve barely been here for half an hour, Namjoon-ah,” Jin complained, holding the bridge of his nose between his index finger and his thumb, Namjoon just continued to stare at him confused. “Well, it’s not my fault, every time she was serving us drinks her tits were right there, and I don’t know if you noticed but they were beautifully proportioned,” he smiled cheekily.

His friends didn’t reciprocate it.

“The label signed you up for a reality show,” Jin stated bluntly, Namjoon almost thought he heard a record scratch, “why?”

“They think it’s good exposure for you,” the older shrugged, “plus it’s like a retreat, you get to stay in a villa with other people and you play games through the summer to win a cash prize.”

“Will I get to keep the cash prize when I win?” he asked, Yoongi and Hoseok sharing a look of annoyance at their friend’s cockiness.

Namjoon had never really been the cocky type, but once his mixtapes and albums started getting hundreds of thousands of streams, and girls seemed to follow him like bees in search of honey, he’d seemed to have his feet a little too far off the ground, and it got worse once he was signed to the label.

“The label is considering it if you create enough buzz around yourself.”

“Well then, I guess I have my work cut out for me,” he smiled, dimples on full display.

You kept refreshing your email every minute, you needed this opportunity, you needed this. It had been your dream since becoming a makeup artist to open your own salon. You were tired of taking clients in the small living room of your studio apartment.

You had been looking for an investor for months when you finally found one that had been interested in your business. He had arranged an interview with you and had asked for a portfolio of your work, just to see what you offered would be worth what you were asking, everything in the interview suggested it was. You were told to wait about a week for them to get back to you, and now that it had been a couple days after the week mark you were starting to get nervous.

The notification sound of a new email made your heart start to race.

From: Hwang Jongdae

Subject: Investment on 2!3! Beauty Salon

Good morning, miss Yn,

After careful consideration of your proposal, we have unfortunately decided that we will not move forward…

You didn’t need to read the rest of the lengthy email, you slammed your laptop shut, immediately reaching for your phone to call your sister, tears inevitably escaped your eyes as soon as she picked up your call.

“Ynie what’s wrong?” She asked, her face showing immediate concern. You explained the situation to her through sobs and snot.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“You could come out with me and Danbi, we are going to the club tonight, maybe you’ll find some rich drunk guy that will invest in your salon.”

You were apprehensive at first, but in the end here you were, in the middle of a night club making somewhat conversation with some guy who’d long taken off his suit jacket and tie, you weren’t planning on anything, you just wanted to someone to converse with since your sister and her girlfriend had ditched you to go dancing.

It wasn’t your fault you had ended up outside making out. You were just sad and needed some cheering up, making out with a stranger sounded like a quick fix, and maybe you’d get a room somewhere and you could enjoy the brief happiness that came with having a one night stand

“Well, I think, your story could make for great reality TV,” his speech was slightly slurred as he pulled away, a sign that the glass he was somehow still holding was definitely not one of the first ones he’d had tonight, “I’m casting this…um…competition show, you get to spend the summer in a pretty villa with pretty people and play games, you can win a SHIT load of money,” he kept leaning toward you, you had to hold back the urge to puke as his breath reeked of alcohol.

You were interested as soon as he mentioned money, you didn’t care what kind of competition it was, you would do anything to make your dream into reality, even if it meant participating in some stupid TV show and dealing with dumb people.

Namjoon was a bit upset about giving up his phone the night before their first day of shooting, but this retreat was meant to be a place where he could disconnect entirely. Which wasn’t an entirely bad idea, the past few weeks was mainly a lot of paperwork and filming his intro for the show, apparently, he’d be the “first to arrive.”

He was happy to see champagne set up on a hightop table, he served himself a glass and waited, other guys started showing up, and then the girls started showing up as well, and to say he was pleasantly surprised was an understatement, all the women were beautiful and when you walked in? 

Namjoon quickly knew that you'd be his target.

He was immediately attracted to you, for a moment he really thought that whoever was up there, if there was anyone, must've put you right there, you were exactly the type he went for when he looked for a quick lay. You were wearing a full body bathing suit, given that the villa was at a beachfront, like shows like these often were. Your hair was down in what he assumed was its natural form, and your make up accentuated your face's features beautifully.

The rest of the girls immediately went to greet you, while the men just stared and spoke amongst themselves about who they liked, it was mostly varied answers. The six girls were the stereotypical body type you’d see in shows like these, although some were definitely on the curvier side, all from different places, the guys were pretty much the same, all well built and mouth-watering.

“Okay so to catch you up to speed…um” one of the girls spoke.

“Yn”

“Right, we have all been scanning the boys and let me tell you, it’s going to be a bloodbath,” she chuckled, as did all the others. She introduced herself as Andrea, and the other girls introduced themselves shortly after.

They walked you over to where the high-tops were, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t notice the way the beautiful dragon-eyed man was devouring you with his gaze, and regardless of your small cover-up skirt and your full body bathing suit, you felt very much naked and aroused. If his gaze alone could do that, what could he do to you?. You had no time to calm your racing heart as he approached, his tall frame towered over you.

“Hey,” his voice sounded like honey, “my name is Namjoon, what’s yours?” he wasn’t subtle at all with the way his eyes trailed up and down your body.

“Yn,” you held your hand out to him “nice to meet you Namjoon,” he took it, bringing your knuckles up to his lips to kiss, you quickly took your hand away.

“What, you don’t like chivalry?”

“You don’t seem like the type to do it genuinely,” you admitted.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong.”

Your neck was hurting badly, you didn’t realize how close he’d gotten to you, making his stature much more than what you had initially suspected. Namjoon enjoyed the vertical advantage, as it gave him a perfect view to your tits, so beautiful and round, he could feel himself slowly harden, he was ready to tell you to come with him to one of the rooms so you could act upon it, when the host of the show finally showed up.

“Hello guys!” he was a beautiful man as well, did this show only look for good looking people? The producer you’d met said you’d be with pretty people, but this was another level, what a major boost to your ego. “I’m Taehyung, welcome Games in Paradise!” Everyone cheered and clapped as the host gave a pretty boxy smile, “you’ll spend the rest of your summer here, where if you succeed with our challenges, you will win a fantastic prize! Your first challenge will be announced later on by the beach, please explore your home for the next two months and enjoy!” Cheers erupted from the small group again, and everyone dispersed after Taehyung walked away.

And explore you did, the villa was huge, it came fully equipped with everything one could only dream of having. The kitchen was fully stocked with a bunch of fancy appliances for your convenience, the bathrooms were gorgeous and came with both a standing shower and a bathtub, the sleeping area had six queen sized beds and nightstands were full of things to make all the sex everyone was planning on having more enjoyable, from condoms to toys, to lube; a few rooms were locked and you weren’t sure why, but no one really cared, considering everyone starting breaking off into duos and small groups to start enjoying their time there.

(T-4 hours)

Andrea, and yourself were enjoying sun-tanning on the lounge chairs right in front of the pool, your cover-ups long gone as your asses in full display as you laid on your stomach. You were reading a book you had picked out of the villa’s small bookcase, while your newly found friend had her eyes closed.

“So, you and Namjoon huh?” she spoke, you looked up to see her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose as she stared at you suggestively. “He’s hot as fuck, anyone here would stupid not to be turned on by his mere sight,” you shrugged.

“The way he was looking at you I thought he was going to fuck you right then and there!” she giggled. You sighed in response and went back to reading your book, mainly to distract yourself from the godly man you’d met, and the many things you wished he’d do to you, so your wetness wouldn’t ruin your favorite swimsuit.

Namjoon was watching you from far away, two of the guys he’d met on either side of him also watching the girls they so badly wanted. Namjoon would enjoy his time here, whether it was with you, or someone who offered to help with his urges sooner. “Okay,” he stood up from his spot, “y’all can enjoy staring and not touching, I’m going in,” he started walking off when he felt a smack in his ass, surely from Jimin, one of the guys he’d been seating with, and his newest friend.

As he walked down to the lounge chairs he noticed someone else taking your friend away, leaving you alone.

Perfect, no interruptions, he thought.

“Hello again,” greeted you once he was close enough to you, he sat down at the spot your friend was previously laying on, his eyes shamelessly enjoying the view of your ass.

“If we still had our phones I’d tell you to take a picture,” you quipped, Namjoon looked back to your face and found you had been staring at him, he flushed slightly at being caught, but got himself together fairly quickly.

“Can you blame me when you have such a wonderful ass?” he chuckled, his dimples in full display which only made him more attractive in your eyes. The silence wasn’t awkward, but it was definitely filled with tension, you took off your sunglasses, a small smirk on your face “I bet you’d love to fuck it wouldn’t you?”

Namjoon wasn’t expecting such a bold response. He choked on his own saliva and got into a coughing fit as he heard you cackle loudly. When it finally subsided, he noticed you’d left, leaving a water bottle at his feet and a note on the lounge chair you had been seated on not so long ago.

Meet me in the sleeping area ;)

(T- 30 minutes)

There truly was no way of explaining your current predicament. How had you ended up like this so quickly? It was truly all a blur.

All you knew was that you were straddling Namjoon, dry-humping his erection over his swimming trunks, and making out ferociously.

Namjoon felt his dick getting impossibly stiff as you rubbed your pussy against it, your moans swallowed by his lips as he put his tongue down your throat. He played with your tits, massaging one of the mounds with one hand and holding your ass with another. “Can I pull down the straps?” he groaned as you moved to kiss him behind his ear and down his sharp jawline; you managed to muster a pathetic ‘mmhmm’ and you felt your nipples brushing against his chest and then being pinched and rolled between Namjoon’s thumb and index finger.

“Your body is so gorgeous,” he complimented before putting the breast he was playing with in his mouth, making you arch your back and moan as he sucked and licked it to his heart’s content. When he released your breast from his mouth he slowly dragged his hand down to your core, expertly moving your swimsuit aside and using his thumb to rub your already sensitive bundle of nerves, “fuck!” you moaned, he then moved his hand so that his thumb continued to rub your clit as he inserted his finger inside of you, “so wet for me,” he added another, “so tight,” and another “can’t wait to fuck this slick, tight pussy until you can’t walk” his fingers curved deliciously against your walls and you could feel the coil of pleasure tightening inside you.

“Take off your pants,” you managed to plead.

“Hmm?”

“Take off your pants, please, I want to rid-”

“Hello,” a robotic voice interrupted your pleas, scaring you so badly you almost ended up falling off of Namjoons lap. He gently took his fingers out of you and fixed up your swimsuit just in case someone was about to walk in. “Who the fuck is there?!” Namjoon asked sternly, carefully moving you off his lap.

“My name is Lana,” that’s when you finally noticed the small cone on top of a decorative table. “I hope you are enjoying the retreat, please head down to the palapa, it should be next to the place you arrived at today.”

You and Namjoon stared at each other, having a mental conversation on whether you actually wanted to or not, ultimately going back to making out. Namjoon wanted you so badly, and the stupid Lana robot had definitely not made him any harder, but he was sure he’d be back to it once you guys got back in the mood.

“Hurry up, lovebirds.” Lana’s robotic timbre interrupted them yet again, making you fall backwards on the bed “ugh!” You complained, “Let’s go before she becomes more of a buzz kill.”

You sat next to Namjoon, his arm was around your shoulders. You saw Andrea sitting among some of the girls, one of them in particular, Jihee you thought was her name, was throwing daggers at you with her eyes. All you could do was give her a tight-lipped smile, looking away from her as the small cone that had scared you earlier slowly rose up on a platform in the middle of the table.

“Hello, contestants,” her multicolored light blinked as she spoke, “I have gathered information during this first day of the retreat.” Everyone looked at each other, in a very ‘what the fuck’ kind of way because up until she spoke, you had thought her to be a very fancy diffuser, “it has been most insightful.”

“What the fuck does she mean?” Andrea spoke up.

“The purpose of the retreat is to have you create deep, meaningful, emotional connections, instead of the meaningless flings you’ve all been having.”

“So��� have platonic relationships with women?” Jimin looked confused, he didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

“To incentivize you not to do this, I have set the prize money to one-hundred thousand dollars.”

‘Oh my god’s’ were spread out through the group, as they all talked about what that amount of money could do for them, you opened up to Namjoon and Andrea who were the people sitting closest to you, “that money could definitely get me my salon!”

“You’re a hairdresser?” Andrea asked.

“Makeup artist, but I’m planning on having a full service salon,” you smiled sweetly, Namjoon found the sparkle in your eye somewhat endearing when you talked about your dream, but, he couldn’t let himself dwell on it for long, he wanted a good lay, not a deep connection, deep connections had only caused him pain.

“However,” Lana interrupted the group’s chatter, “there are conditions to your stay in order to win the prize,” you hoped the collective complaint wasn’t missed on the small cone, although you were sure it was, it was a robot after all.

“There will be no kissing.”

Your eyes widened, as did most of the groups. “Well, she only said kissing right?” Jihee said.

“No heavy petting.” 

“This is fucking stupid,” Daniel, one of the guys Namjoon had been hanging out with spoke.

“No sex of any kind, this includes self-gratification,” the chorus of what’s and no’s that broke out from the group were immediate, and you felt regretful, if you had cut to the chase sooner you could’ve gotten a really good dicking from Namjoon, and now you were all going to be blue balled.

Or were you?

(Day 2)

You woke up the next morning comfy, you and Namjoon decided you would share a bed, and his muscular arms held you tightly, and you felt protected in a way. You hadn’t been one for cuddling in a long time, not since your last relationship almost 4 years ago. It had ended quite tumultuously, especially due to its toxic and suffocating nature. It was mainly why you had one night stands, you didn’t have to cuddle if you didn’t want to, you could just leave right after.

You also didn’t miss Namjoon’s morning wood against your ass, no one was awake yet aside from you, so you decided to be a little risky and pretend like you were adjusting yourself, only to rub up on Namjoon’s dick some more. His grip tightened at your hips, you felt his breath against your ear as he groaned.

“You better stop that, or I’ll fuck you just like this,” he whispered, you could feel yourself getting slick at his words, how badly you wanted him follow through. “Don’t you want the money?” you whispered back, doing your best to hold your moans as he grinded against your ass, “Lana is a dumb fucking robot, how will she know?”

Fuck it.

That’s how you ended up with your shorts and underwear halfway down your legs, and with Namjoon’s fingers deep in your pussy, just like last night. You were biting your pillow and doing your best to hold back your moans. “You ready for me baby?”

Best you could do was reach back and touch him, you wanted to keep quiet just in case someone heard you. He slowly teased your entrance with the tip of his cock, you had yet to see it but when it breached you, you could tell he was thick, and as he slowly fed himself into your pussy, it was ten times harder to stay quiet. Yup. He was definitely big. 

He fucked you slowly, and he had to hold himself back as well, your pussy felt so good and it almost felt like you sucked him in deeper with every thrust, he wanted to rail you, to make you scream and moan so that everyone knew just how good he fuck you. “You’re taking my cock so well,” he praised you, causing you to clench harder on him, “if you keep doing that I’m going to cum,” you answered, “why don’t you hmm? Maybe I’ll pump full of my cum too, and make you keep it in so no one knows what we did,” he bit your earlobe and you almost moaned out loud. The coil in your stomach snapped, and your back arched from the pleasure the beautiful man behind you was giving you, it wasn’t long before he came as well, and just like he said, you were filled to the brim.

After your morning shower and getting yourself ready, you were out and about with the girls hanging out in the pool, it was a hot, sunny day, and you were having fun hanging out with the gals.

“Were you okay this morning, Yn? I thought I kept hearing moan?” Jihee asked, making the rest of the girls turn to you. You and Namjoon had agreed to not tell anyone about your little escapade this morning. “I was having a really bad nightmare, I’m sorry,” you smiled apologetically.

Jihee didn’t seem to believe you, meanwhile the other girls rushed to ensure you were okay, they kept asking what your nightmare was about, thankfully, before the show you’d have a really bad one, so you used that one for your story, they didn’t know it wasn’t recent. However, you didn’t miss the angry looks from Jihee, but you didn’t have much time to dwell on it, as the guys came over to the pool to get you, stating that Lana had called for you all to go to the palapa.

You sat next to Namjoon again, who placed his arm on the armrest behind you. You were staring off, not really setting your eyes on one thing until they landed on his thighs. They were so thick and muscular, you wondered what riding them felt like, perhaps that could be the next thing you and Namjoon sneaked off to do.

“Hello, contestants,” the small cone in the middle of the table spoke, everyone greeted it back. “It has come to my attention someone may have broken the rules,” everyone stared around, except for Namjoon, who was playing with the leftover fabric of the headband you were wearing.

“No one’s done anything Lana,” Jimin stated.

“My cameras picked up movement and audio last night, are you sure?” The girls stared at you so quick you were worried they would break their necks, “Yn? You said you had a bad nightmare last night didn’t you?” Jihee’s voice was laced with cattiness, and you felt a slight tug to your headband.

“My cameras picked Namjoon, speaking also.”

“Her nightmare sounded pretty bad, I was whispering in her ear to calm her down, nothing happened,” the way he lied so effortlessly made you feel weird, and you remembered why you’d been single for so long, you didn’t want to be in another situation where you were gaslighted and lied to.

You were grateful that you had kept your movement so slow and subtle.

“Just a warning, if you are found breaking the rules, depending on what you do, you will lose money.”

All hell broke loose then.

(Day 14)

You had managed to go this far without you or Namjoon making a single sexual move, and it was killing him not being able to plow you like he wanted to. It was good because you weren’t the first to lose the group money, Daniel and Jihee were surprisingly the firsts to do so, Jihee had given head to Daniel twice in one day, losing twelve thousand dollars. Later on, Andrea and Jimin kissed a few times, losing six thousand dollars.

Namjoon thought that building an emotional connection was dumb, he’d done that before, and each time it ended in a heartbreak worse than the last, his most recent relationship being what made him swear off on relationships. The girl he had dated was someone he’d loved, he’d do everything for her, every song was for her, any money made from his music went to both his and her bills, he almost dropped his best friends for her. 

And then he found out she’d been cheating on him all along.

It absolutely broke him, he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t good enough, he’d always been a gentleman, he would spoil her, love her, why wasn’t that enough? 

He didn’t care anymore, when he had an urge he would go to the clubs, or even after a gig he would pull a fan he found hot and he would fuck them until he was satisfied, leaving shortly after, or if he was craving something more intimate he would cuddle them after for a little while, no deep conversation, no sob stories shared, no number exchange. No strings attached. It was the only way not to get hurt.

You were so nice, such a good fuck. He almost wished you had met a few years before, then again would he have looked your way? He always seemed to be dating women who only wanted him for his money, women who never appreciated the little things. You did. He’d made you coffee this morning, using the keurig in the kitchen because he knew he would burn the villa down if he did it like some of the others were making it. He did it because you had become somewhat friends, sexual tension aside, your conversations were great, even if they were forced at first to distract you both from how badly you wanted the other, maybe he’d leave this with you as a good friend. All the girls cooed at the nice gesture, and Namjoon visibly cringed “it’s just fucking coffee it doesn’t mean anything.”

Oh, how those words hurt you.

You had unfortunately developed a crush for the rapper. He was so incredibly smart, he had such wisdom and insight, and his face card was crazy. You had felt horny the first few days, after your small rendezvous, but that subsided once you had more and more conversations, you really like his brain. However, how you felt didn’t matter, he didn’t want you like that, you were someone he fucked once and that he wants to fuck again, nothing more, nothing less. So, maybe it was a good thing that new players came into the scene.

Lana announced them, and it wasn’t long before you spotted them walking down the beach, two men. Both men were absolutely ripped, one of them had a full sleeve and piercings, making you salivate at the sight, the other didn’t have any tattoos, but he had a somewhat big nose and a beautiful smile. When they arrived they quickly introduced themselves as Christopher and Jungkook. The latter seemed to have immediately set an eye on you as he immediately started conversing with you and tried to get to know you better. You and the others had to explain the rules to the newcomers, they weren’t exactly thrilled, but they got over somewhat quickly.

“Ynie, do you want to go talk somewhere else alone?” the doe-eyed man asked, and how could you say no to that pretty smirk. Namjoon didn’t really like it as he saw you walk away with the younger man.

“You can’t talk to her the way you did this morning and expect her not to move on,” Andrea spoke, Jimin giggled next to her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t care,” he clarified, making your friend roll her eyes.

“Attention, contestants,” Lana’s voice broke through the various conversations, “there will be a special event happening near the garden tomorrow, please go there in the morning.”

“What’s in it for us anyway?” Chris spoke up.

“The person who shows the most progress and success will win a date with a person of their choosing,” now that changes things.

(Day 15)

Without words. That’s what the workshop was called.

Lana had paired all of you up, and you had ended up being paired with Jungkook, whilst Namjoon was paired with Jihee. Namjoon wasn’t one to be possessive of the people he fucked, but it wasn’t that he fucked you before, you were his friend, and Jungkook seemed like he was up to no good, what with the big deceitful doe eyes.

You were excited though, it was a fresh start for you, maybe Jungkook will be able to give you that deep emotional connection you were supposed to look for. You hadn’t wanted it at first, but your growing feelings for Namjoon along with all the workshops you had done so far helped you realize that. This one in particular had two stages, the first one was picking up on your partner’s body language. You had to go for a hug with Jungkook showing a specific emotion, and he would have to guess it later, that emotion was excitement.

Once Lana gave you the go, you ran toward the pretty man and hopped on him, wrapping your legs around him. He quickly caught you, wrapping one arm around you and using his other hand to hold one of your legs up, you both were so giggly, and everyone in the group could tell you were enjoying each other’s company. Namjoon was hugging Jihee but he wasn’t putting that much effort in it, he was watching you and Jungkook, and the stupid shit eating grin he had whilst you hugged. How badly he wanted to be the one you had your legs wrapped around, he was getting a little upset at how long you were hugging this newcomer for, considering everyone had stopped except for you two.

“We don’t have all day!” Namjoon remarked, his tone was bitter. You didn’t realize you had embraced Jungkook for so long, you had connected a lot during his first day, you talked until the high hours of the night, so you felt good with him, it was easy. You let go and walked back, whispering I’m sorry’s to the group for the hold up. “The next stage is soul gazing, you will stare at your partner in silence, it encourages you to see and connect with your partner on a deeper emotional level,” Lana said.

The silence of everyone was quite comfortable, and watching Jungkook you felt such warmth and kindness emanating from him, and you also saw him tear up a bit. “You have a beautiful soul Ynie,” he admitted, and like the Grinch, you felt your heart grow three sizes from those words. Namjoon, however, was seething, who the hell is guy anyway, why is he making you swoon all the sudden? It was bullshit, absolute bullshit. After the workshop was finally over, Lana announced the winner, you.

“Yn, who do you choose to go on this date with,” the little cone asked, and everyone’s eyes were on you. The expectations were skewed, some were expecting you to pick Namjoon, and some were expecting you to pick Jungkook based on the past two days alone.

“Jungkook,” he had the prettiest smile, “wanna go on this date with me?”

“Yes!” He was very enthusiastic, giving you a quick side hug, the girls rushed to your side to help you get ready.

Namjoon was with the guys as they all watched Jungkook getting ready, he wasn’t very excited about the prospect of you going on a date with someone, he wanted you all for himself to enjoy and he couldn’t have that if you went with Jungkook. He heard Jimin giggling, noticing he’d been staring at him this whole time. “What?”

“Good thing you don’t have laser vision, poor Jungkookie would be dead if you did,” he continued to chuckle.

“I’m not even looking at him.”

“Give me a fucking break hyung, it’s obvious you are jealous of the guy, I mean just today’s workshop alone shows that,” Jimin explained, “if you like Yn you should shoot your shot.”

Did Namjoon like you? I mean he was definitely not repulsed by you, you were a smart, pretty girl. But how would he know you wouldn't use him? Sure you didn't seem like you would but what about when you were out in the real world?

“I'll be back,” Jungkook had a big grin on his face, “wish me luck!”

As Namjoon watched the youngest out of the men walk out, he decided he would get dressed himself, and get his frustration out with the punching bag at their designated workout area. Watching as he met you at the door to the villa. You were wearing a simple gray summer dress and it complimented your skin tone beautifully.

Jungkook was a little confused on why Namjoon was so adamantly upset at him, but he couldn’t worry about him right now, not when he was so excited to see you. You were incredibly nice to him when he arrived, and your conversation had been so wonderful when he’d pulled you aside. You talked about so many things, where you were from, what you did for work, what your goals were.

“I’m a tattoo artist! I’ve drawn most of the pieces I’ve gotten done,” he took off the shirt he was wearing, the white tank top underneath being the only thing keeping you from seeing his abs. His sleeve was beautiful, so incredibly colorful and full of life, he explained most of his tattoos, including the ones that were meant as cover-ups for others. Your eyes got lost in the way his muscles flexed as they trailed up his arm, eventually your gaze ended up meeting his.

He had stars in his eyes, and his smile seemed so incredibly genuine, he cocked his head to the side as he stared at you, “can I ask you something?” you nodded, “do you and Namjoon hyung have something going on? I don’t want to move forward with pursuing you if you are not available,” the question left you a bit stunned and you thought it through before deciding to trust Jungkook with the truth.

“We’ve had some serious sexual tension since we got here,” you admitted, “no one knows this but we actually fucked on our second night here,” the pretty man in front of you deflated a bit, and then it seemed to hit him, “so, not even the weird cone thing knows?”

“I mean she probably knows now,” you chuckled humorlessly. “Anyway, after that we agreed not to tell anyone, and we started building a friendship, I started sort of catching feelings, and I thought he was too, he would do little nice things for me, and then say something mean after,” you sighed, “so I’m not sure about him as person.”

Jungkook was a great listener, he stayed quiet and gave you his undivided attention the entire time you were talking, and now he sat pensive, looking up at the stars as he tried to come up with something to tell you, “I think you are really cool, Yn, and I think you deserve someone who will want you in every way, not just because you’re stunning” you blushed slightly at his words, “I would love to get to know you better and explore something with you, but if you want Namjoon that badly, then I don’t want to get hurt, going after girls who are emotionally unavailable or attached to someone else is exactly why I’ve become a man whore.”

You were shocked at his candor and honesty, but it endeared you to him and made you envy him. Why couldn’t you have your shit together? Why were your boundaries so unclear? Worst of all, a pretty guy who had treated you with nothing but respect wanted you… but your feelings for Namjoon were more, from the small coffee offering to conversations he would have with you about books you both had read, to deep conversations about each other’s life.

“You are a good person Jungkook.”

“But I’m not the kind of person you want.” You gave him a saddened smile, “I’m fine with being your friend Ynie, you are a good person too, and in time Namjoon will realize it too,” the night continued on with so much laughter, Jungkook felt like a long lost friend, and you were happy that life had brought him to you.

Namjoon was not happy. The people in the villa watched as he beat the absolute shit out of the punching bag in front of him, his jaw was clenched, and his mind was playing all the possibilities of what may happen on your date with Jungkook.

Did you do any of the things you'd done with him? Did you kiss him? Did you like him? Will you come back with a stronger connection and leave him to rot?

If you did he wouldn't blame you, he deserves every one of those things, especially after the way he'd treated you, all hot and cold. It truly isn't his fault, so many strings of wrong relationships, with the last one being a constant cycle of toxicity and gaslighting, which Namjoon can now admit he was a part of. Him and his last partner weren't good for each other, but they loved each other so intensely they didn't want to let go.

Love hard, hurt harder, you know?

He heard your unmistakable laughter along with his, and he started punching his bag harder. How long had he been standing here punching this poor bag? He didn't care, currently he was imagining Jungkook’s head on a stake.

“Namjoon?” Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he turned his gaze toward, whilst still in a punching stance, “can we talk?” Namjoon straightened up at that. He kinda liked the way you were checking how sweaty his body was, he didn't like your sudden frown however.

“Your knuckles are bleeding.” 

Were they? Surely he wasn't punching the bag that long that hard. But when he pulled up his hands to look at the damage he couldn't help but cackle.

“I guess they are.”

“Why don't you go take care of them and then we can talk, hmm?” You gave him a tight, close-lipped smile.

Fuck no.

There was no way he was letting you leave after you were the reason he'd been punching this bag, not when he'd spent the last however long wondering, overthinking, what you and Jungkook would possibly be doing. There was simply no way. It was almost a reflex the way his hand wrapped around your wrist, you barely had time to look at him before he pulled you away to a secluded corner of the villa, cornering you against the wall with both of his arms caging you in, droplets of sweat all over his body. 

It was crazy, the way your body seemed to respond so quickly to him, he heard the small whimper, and saw how you put your legs together, and fuck sake the way you were looking at him was like you were begging him to…

He wanted to do this right though. He moved away slightly, giving you some space to breathe, “what'd you wanna talk about Yn?”

“My date with Jungkook went well,” okay maybe not what he was expecting.

“Good for you?”

“I think we'll be great friends, him and I,” Namjoon suddenly felt himself taking a deep breath of relief. “Really?” The space he'd given you was gone again.

He hoped you could see just how affected he also was by you, how his own dick was stirring, having your body so close, having you so close. You must’ve sat there staring at each other for a few minutes, Namjoon’s gaze going back and forth between your lips and your eyes, there was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do to you, with you. He leaned in slowly, your height difference making him bend down slightly, your eyes fluttered shut and he stopped just close enough that your noses were brushing together, you were so beautiful. Before you could ask him what was taking him so long he connected your lips in a delicious, passionate kiss, your tongues explored each other’s mouths and your hands held onto his shoulders.

Namjoon was the first to pull away, only to move his kisses down to your jaw and eventually your neck, causing you to let out little moans, they were the prettiest sound to Namjoon. He found himself reaching for the shorts you had worn under your gray dress, “may I take these off?” he asked, his eyes hooded and filled with want, all you could do was let out a pathetically high-pitched ‘yes’. He hooked his thumbs at the waistband, dragging your underwear down with it, he watched them pool at your feet and then knelt down, “is this okay?” you felt his breath against your center, making you squirm slightly.

“Yes.”

He dove right in, licking the length of your slit, groaning at how aroused you were and he had barely done anything to you. He moved on to your clit, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and sucking gently, causing your moans to become slightly louder, “you gotta keep quiet for me baby,” he instructed you when he briefly pulled away to catch his breath, the sight of the lower half of his face glistening with your wetness making you almost want to orgasm right then. He started eating you out again, this time adding his fingers to the mix, and you had to cover your mouth to make sure your moans wouldn’t be heard all over the villa. You felt yourself closer and closer to your climax and Namjoon could too, your walls squeezed his fingers tightly almost as if wanting to keep them prisoner, and he wanted nothing more than to replace them with his cock, especially because it was so painfully hard. You wanted that too, you wanted nothing more than for this to go all the way, but you felt that in order for what you wanted to work, things had to be different.

“Namjoon, stop” he immediately moved away from you, gently removing his fingers. You took a moment to catch your breath, as he slowly pulled up your shorts and underwear and fixed your dress for you, “did I hurt you?” he asked, holding your hips, looking genuinely concerned at your sudden request. He had an almost boyish charm when this side of him was shown to you, so sweet, so gentleman-like, why would he not be like this always?

“No, I just,” you sighed, putting your hands on his chest, “I like you Namjoon, I would like for us to try and get to know each other, for us to get the chance to see if this could go anywhere, but I’m not sure if that’s what you want, and I need to know, because I don’t want to be pining for someone that just wants me for sex.”

Your confession surprised him, he hadn’t thought that all your conversations and your sexual tension would lead to anything more than maybe a friends with benefits kind of situation. However, considering how he's been reacting to the possibility of you and Jungkook together, maybe he did want to explore more.

“I'd love to get to know you more Ynie,” he flashed his dimpled smile at you, and you felt your heart fluttering. Jumping into his arms for a hug in which Namjoon made sure to hold you extra tight. Maybe this was the beginning of his healing.

(Day 27)

The rest of the stay at the villa was great for you two, Namjoon was so very thoughtful, he made you fresh coffee every morning, and you guys had a reading date every afternoon, where you shared the big love seat by the pool, laying back on his chest as he held whatever book you were reading in front of both of you.

People weren't too happy once Lana deducted the money for your offense after your date with Jungkook, and they were even more distraught when they found out what shenanigans you'd been up to on your second night there, you had lost them so much money the price money was down to forty-five thousand dollars. Jihee almost jumped you, thankfully Jungkook was there to hold her back. Speaking of, you ended up having another girl show up, a sweet blonde named Maddie who immediately caught Jungkook’s attention. It was great seeing your friend happy. You guys would have chats by the pool when you got a chance and update each other on the happenings of your relationships. 

Lana had also been a bit more liberal by giving you all bracelets, when they lit up you’d be allowed to kiss the other person, this would only happen if your emotional connection had been proven to strong and genuine.

Although you and Namjoon were still very much in the eyes of everyone, “getting to know each other,” that would all change three days before you left the villa. You honestly had no clue when he had the time, but when Lana announced you were going on a date with Namjoon, everyone seemed to be beaming at the idea. He told you to dress nice. So you opted for a two-piece white set, with a loose halter top, white loose shorts, and wedges. Turns out you were going on a boat ride.

“Oh my god Joon,” you beamed as he helped you sit down at the front of the boat, where an assortment of sushi was waiting for you. You sailed along, enjoying the sun on your skin, and the beautiful man that kept feeding you sushi, especially since even if he tried to show you how to use chopsticks you still couldn’t keep the sushi in your grasp for long. You talked some more about life, and you ended up opening up to one another.

“My last relationship was like, three years ago,” he started, “she basically only wanted me for my money, but I didn’t really notice, I just wanted to love and be loved, and I thought that I was being good, I spoiled her, gave her everything and she still cheated on me, so I swore off relationships and became a man-whore,” he chuckled bitterly. “My last relationship was four years ago, it was very toxic, he basically made me feel bad for not always wanting to be on his dick, or because I spent time with my friends and not him, he went around telling everyone our business but always left out how awful he was to me.” You had been staring at the horizon, the sun slowly setting bringing golden hour to you.

“Eventually when we broke up, he tried getting back together with me, and when I said no, he started shit-talking my friends and myself, and all I could do was watch as they got tired of dealing with me and my drama, so now I only had my sister to rely on,” you felt Namjoon’s hand on your cheek, he watched with sorrowful expression, “you were crying.”

“I swore off relationships after that too, I have never felt more alone than during that time, and I didn’t want to feel like that again.”

“I know at first I didn’t do the best job at not making you feel that way, but I hope I can help you feel less lonely,” Namjoon said, still caressing your cheeks, you felt your wrist vibrate, seeing the big green checkmark on your watch, Namjoon had the same. You were ready to lean in to kiss him, but he stopped you.

“Before we kiss,” he started, “getting to know you has been amazing, I find myself learning some much about myself and slowly coming back to who I was before all the bullshit. I want us to be real, I want to go back to the real world and make it work with you, would you be my girlfriend Ynie?” Your cheeks hurt from how wide you were smiling, you never really thought of yourself getting back into a relationship, you had sworn you were too damaged for something like that, but maybe this was the start to your healing. “I want to make it work in the real world too, I’d love to be your girlfriend,” his dimpled smile gave you butterflies, and as his other hand reached your cheek to fully cup your face, he closed the space between you with a kiss that had been different from the ones before, the others were hungry, desperate, and horny, this one was slow, passionate, and breath-taking. You felt your wrist vibrate again, making you pull away much to your dismay.

“I’m excited for the outside world together,” his gaze was sweet and soft, something you had never seen. He laid back, opening his arms up so you could cuddle.

“Me too,” you smiled, quickly moving your picnic stuff out of the way and scooting over, you laid your head on his chest, you heard his heart beating so fast and so loud, “your heart is about to beat out of your chest,” you giggled.

“I was so fucking nervous,” you looked up at him, “but I am happy I think, hopefully we’ll make it through.”

Fingers crossed.

[whatsnewalycat]

mindfuck

Dave York x f!Reader

Summary: Dave hypnotizes you.

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Word Count: 2.8k+

Warnings: hypnokink, not entirely good praxis of hypnosis, humiliation, implied infidelity, praise, smut, unprotected piv, D/s dynamic, dom dave, literal mind fucking so like a bit of body horror get into it

Notes: For @iamasaddie kinky May writing challenge. Prompt was hypnosis + Dave York. I found a lot of inspiration for this from a post in r/EroticHypnosis about mindfucking (can find again if anyone wants the link - lemme know!). Posting this in a hurry bc I am late to a thing so hopefully not tooooo many missed mistakes. OK THANK YOU FOR READING!!!

[ my masterlist ]

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All your life you wished you could turn off your thoughts at will. 

Growing up, on those nights where your crowded head wouldn’t let you sleep, you would imagine twisting off the top of your skull like a jar lid and plopping your brain on the nightstand. It even worked sometimes, too, if you tried hard to convince yourself. When reminders of an upcoming math test or images of that cute boy in class crept into your purview, they had nowhere to go. They evaporated, and you slept. 

Dave says you’re too smart for your own good. Sometimes when you’re lost in thought, he tells you he wants to empty that pretty little head of yours. Not in a condescending way, although you can see how someone might interpret it like that. 

What he means is that he wants you to be with him when you’re with him. What he means is that he wants you to be present. Not thinking about the past or the future. Not reminding yourself of deadlines or analyzing the data stored in your brain or wondering what you mean to him exactly. 

The first time he suggested hypnosis, you balked. Even after he explained how it worked, you were hesitant enough for him to drop the subject. 

When he brought it up again, though, your skepticism swayed. You asked him for more details, so he dispensed the pros and cons and the step process. He could do it for you, he said. He knew how. He said he could rattle the bees from your buzzing honeycomb brain. All you had to do was trust him with this power. 

So you did. 

And you do. 

Your valiant beekeeper meets you at this hotel every other Tuesday night, except on holidays. This isn’t the only one-on-one time he dedicates to you, but it’s by far the most reliable. He doesn’t always hypnotize you, either. 

Regardless of whether he puts you in a trance or not, this standing date always starts the same. He slips you the keycard at some point throughout the day, only after he’s adorned it with a vase full of seasonal blooms and laid out something for you to wear. 

Tonight he left you lilacs and matching lingerie. Intricate floral appliqués embellish the pastel nightie he laid out on the bed. 

Opulence becomes you when you slip it on and pour a glass of champagne from the bottle Dave left to chill on ice. You mosey around the spacious high-end suite, sipping frosty bubbles as you admire the birds-eye view of downtown, the tall buildings and bustling city life all drenched in golden light from the setting sun. 

As the time nears eight o’clock, you empty your champagne flute and make yourself comfortable on the plush bed. Crystals hanging from the chandelier fragment soft white light into dazzling tiny spectrums, sparkling rainbow when the door to the suite opens, then closes. 

Dave enters the room with an air of authority that makes you straighten your spine and draw back your shoulders. After chucking off his jacket, he empties his pockets on the dresser and loosens his tie, then turns around to meet your gaze. 

His stern expression melts as he looks you over, seeming to appraise how your body fills out the lilac nightie. Heat sparks in the middle of you when he greets you, “Hey beautiful.” 

“Hi.” 

He approaches your side and takes a seat at the edge of the bed, rolling the sleeves of his dress shirt, “Comfortable?” 

Nodding, you sit up to pull him in for a kiss. His plush lips respond without hesitation, firm but generous as he slips a wide palm around your body and brings you even closer. 

When he pulls back, he asks, “Are you ready?” 

“Ready.” 

He cradles your jaw, searching your face with blatant admiration before separating his body from yours. You lay back into the soft embrace of the pillows and wiggle around until you find the sweet spot of comfort while Dave drags an armchair to your bedside and sits down. Once you’re both settled and still, he begins. 

“Close your eyes.” 

You close them. 

“Take a deep breath in…”

You take in air until you can’t. 

“…and slowly release it.” 

You exhale, rationing your metered breath through a straw-sized ‘o’ formed by your lips. 

“Good. Take a deep breath in… two three four… and slowly release it. Deep breath in… two three four… now slowly release it.”

Behind closed lids, you concentrate on the rhythmic ebb and flow of your lungs contracting and expanding. His warm voice surrounds you. Envelops you. 

“That’s it. Keep breathing just like this. Each time you inhale, draw the life from your breath, and exhale the rest. Notice how cleansing it feels to let it go. How the tension melts from your muscles every time you take a deep breath in…”

You inhale. 

“…two three four…” 

Hold it. 

“…and slowly release it.” 

Then exhale.

“Perfect. Keep doing that. Now imagine that every time you take a deep breath in, a warm wave washes over you… and as you slowly release it, the tide carries away tension, allowing your muscles to soften and relax…”

Each big lungful heats the tar holding your body together. You dissolve into the mattress as Dave’s deep, honeyed voice resonates through you. 

“Again, take a deep breath in as the warm wave of relaxation washes over you, two three four… and slowly release it as the tide carries away your tension, allowing your muscles to soften and relax. Concentrate on my voice. Recognize it as a touchstone. If your mind starts to wander, have it return to the touchstone, return to my voice, and relax even deeper.” 

Trees tower above you, stretching high into the pale blue sky. The moss-covered rock before you glows as he speaks. 

“Notice how relaxed you feel. Notice that every time the warm wave of relaxation washes over you, two three four… tension melts from your body as you allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper into the sensation. Allow the relaxation to seep from your muscles into your bloodstream… to course through your veins and calm every cell in your body.

“Focus on your face. All those tiny little muscles in your forehead and around your eyes, notice how relaxed they are. Notice how the relaxation melts the muscles in your cheeks and jaw, letting your mouth go slack. You might feel as though you want to speak, but find yourself so relaxed that you can’t. That’s ok, because it feels good and safe to let the words dissolve on your tongue. Doesn’t it?” 

When you try to respond, your lips don’t move. This fact doesn’t bother you. It feels good and safe in the forest, staring up at the treetops. 

You realize you’re floating in a pond. You hear birds peacefully chirping and know it’s just you and them and the touchstone for a million miles. 

Everything feels profound, but simple. You are small and big like a speck of dust or a galaxy. You are safe. You are at peace. 

“Doesn’t it feel so good to relax, darling?” 

Your fingertips rest against the soft moss of the touchstone. 

“Yes, it does,” you tell it. 

It glows with a satisfactory hum that vibrates through you.  

“Perfect. Continue to focus on my voice. Soon, I will ask you to open your eyes, then close them. When you close your eyes, you’ll notice a warm wave of relaxation washing over you, turning knots into snarls and snarls into strands, every muscle in your body gently untangling as you allow them to go limp and heavy…”

You understand and follow his instructions. 

“Open your eyes and take a deep breath in, two three four… and slowly release it, closing your eyes, letting the warm wave wash over you and pull you in deeper. 

“Soon, I’ll ask you to open your eyes again. When you close them, you’ll notice the warm wave of relaxation wash over you even stronger than before, pulling you even deeper. 

“Open your eyes, two three four… and close your eyes, sinking deeper and deeper. Good job. We’ll do it one more time, and when you close your eyes and relax, sink as deep as you can, all the way to the bottom. Open your eyes, two three four… and close your eyes.” 

You’re lying in a meadow of wildflowers outside the forest, looking up at the serene blue sky. The earth beneath you is solid and brings you an immense sense of comfort. 

“I want you to think about desire. Think about that warm, lush longing inside you. Concentrate on how good this sensation feels in your body, pleasure swelling thick at the center of you.”

His voice surrounds you, but you don’t see its source. The soothing timbre resonates from the wildflowers and the earth and the sky, from everywhere and nowhere all at once like how you imagine God sounded to Old Testament prophets. 

You bring your focus to desire. It does feel good. Amazing, actually. Tangible like a glowing ball of heat between your thighs that throbs with each syllable he speaks. 

“Allow the sensation to grow. Let it stretch and pulse and heat your skin. Let your mind empty of everything except this arousal. When thoughts arise, you let them fall away and arousal fills the empty space. You’ll let this happen over and over again until your head is empty of everything but arousal. Do you understand? You can speak now, darling, go ahead and answer.” 

“Yes.” 

“Try it for me.” 

You acknowledge the cognitions that populate your mind. When you think about how you need to put gas in your car, you imagine the reminder dropping away, then imagine the warm wanting glow of desire branching up through your body to take its place. You think about a work project, but it loosens and falls into an abyss. Desire floods the space in its wake, a thick hot liquid that glows with light like lava, spreading to each new vacancy with ease as the thoughts drop from your consciousness. 

“How does it feel?” 

“Good,” you breathe, voice faint on your tingling tongue. 

“Do you like how it feels, being horny and mindless?” 

Your husband’s face appears, taking up your whole mind, then falls away. Rich, bubbling pleasure surges through you to fill the gap. You have to suppress a moan to respond. 

“I like it,” you nod, “Fuck, it feels amazing.” 

“Good girl. Now, you might notice something interesting happen when I ask you a question. You might notice that when I ask you a question, you’ll try to form a thought to answer. When you do this, you’ll feel my cock enter your mind. It’s bigger and harder than you’ve ever seen it, swollen and thick and so fucking ready for you, darling. When you try to form a thought, it pushes forward into the wet hot folds of your brain, severing the connections that typically allow you to think, preventing a response from forming. My cock pulls out, and slowly thrusts forward again, pushing out the thoughts, over and over for as long as you consider a response to my question. It becomes impossible to focus. You might notice that this penetration feels like it would in your pussy. My hard cock rutting in and out, sending waves of arousal through your body, fucking the thoughts from your head. Every time my cock moves, you’ll try to respond but cannot make yourself focus. It feels amazing. You give in to the sensation, allowing it to overtake you completely. When you’re fully saturated with arousal and nothing else, my cock pulls out of your mind.” 

Your skin feels static and warm when you imagine him pushing his smooth, throbbing length into your brain. A shaky whimper croaks in your throat. Your heart thuds heavy within your chest, circulating desire, warm and wet, to every cell in your body. 

“You might notice that when I ask you another question, any attempts at thought or sensations that come up except arousal will be fucked from your head until you surrender to the arousal. It feels good to be dominated in this way. To let pleasure consume your entire being.” 

Licking your lips, you nod to show you understand.  

“Now when I ask you a question, you’ll allow your subconscious to follow my instructions. Are you ready, darling?” 

“Yes.” 

“How was your day?” 

When you try to recall your day and formulate an answer, the tip of his cock pierces the equator of your brain, splitting the hemispheres. He drives forward slowly, steadily, making you moan as he stretches you apart and tears all those delicate tissues that generate thought. Still, you try. 

My day, how was my day…

He drags his cock out, then drives it deeper inside you. 

Day… how was…

Your nerve endings buzz as he pulls out, gooey arousal shines on the shaft of his thick cock. He plunges forward into the hot center of you. You work your hips and whine. You can’t remember what he asked. It doesn’t seem as important as the pleasure clinging to your insides as he fucks you, so you give up. 

His cock pulls out of your mind completely. 

“What’s the weather supposed to be like tomorrow?” 

You consider the question. The tip of him breaches your brain, forcing out forecasts and clouds and sunshine. Fragments return as you attempt to answer again. 

The weather tomorrow…

He pumps in and out of you, obliterating whatever it was he wanted to know. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except the insatiable pleasure thrumming through you as he rubs against all your hungry nerves, giving them what they want. 

“Oh my god,” you hear yourself gasp. 

“How often do you think about fucking me?” 

Seeds of embarrassment sprout the tender beginnings of thought, then he fucks them out of your head until you’re rolling your hips, moaning and nodding for more. 

“Do you make yourself come when you think about fucking me?” 

Only a loading screen appears before he’s inside you again. His perfect, thick cock pumps you full of this throbbing heat. You wish it would never end. You want to feel this and only this forever. 

“That’s it, that’s my good girl. So horny and mindless for me. Letting my cock push deep and hard into the folds of your brain, fucking out all your thoughts, leaving your head empty to stuff you with arousal until you’re swollen and ripe, nothing else left but how fucking horny you are.” 

“Sssooooo fucking gooood,” you slur. 

“How would your husband feel if he saw you like this? In this hotel room, all dressed up in lingerie I bought for you, moaning and writhing on the bed?” 

A thought starts, and he pounds it out of you, merciless in its rhythm as each thrust pushes you higher and higher. Horny and mindless, that’s all you are. Nothing matters except this.

“Do you really think we’ll run away together? Do you really think I’d leave my wife for you?” 

A rotten sensation tingles in your chest before you feel him enter you from both ends, the cock in your mind working in tandem with the cock in your pussy. You choke out a moan and nod, body vibrating with a thick, hot sensation you can’t find the beginning or end of. 

“Fuck fuck fuck, holy fuck—” 

He groans, rolling his hips faster, fucking your entire being so hard and fast that you become pleasure itself. It’s everything and everywhere for eternity and you gladly accept this fact, wanting to forever exist in this moment. 

“That’s so good, darling. So fucking good. You want me to let you come, don’t you?” 

You nod frantically as the edges of you start to fray.

“Go ahead, come for me.” 

His permission completely unravels you, ripping away the last delicate thread holding you together. You sob as you fall apart into a thousand pieces. His hips stutter and he moans, giving you a few deep thrusts before pulling out. 

Your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath. You float in the peaceful pond, staring up at the towering treetops that kiss the sky. 

“Now in a minute, I’ll bring you back to your normal state. When I count to four and tell you to wake up, you’ll come out of the trance relaxed and refreshed. Your mind will feel spotless. You’ll know that I adore you and hold you close to my heart.”

You hear birds peacefully chirping. You know it’s just you and them and Dave for a million miles. You are small and big like a speck of dust or a galaxy. You are safe. You are at peace. 

“And one two three four… wake up.”

[cyberrose2001]

Kinktober: Day 3

Prompt: Thigh Riding

RID15 Grimlock x afab reader

Warnings: Thigh riding (reader does the riding), grimlock jacks off, semi-public, very slight oral

Word count: 553

“Oh f-fuck,” A hushed, fluttery whimper leaves your lips, your body curling in on itself as you grind your aching core against his thigh. His sharp claws dig into your hips, blending the line between pleasure and pain.

You and Grimlock were horny for each other, and there was no doubt about it. At first, you weren’t sure why. Maybe you had a kink for his ragged voice, or perhaps it was the 4,200 pounds of pure titanium muscle you totally don’t daydream about being thrown around by. Whatever it was, he had you hot and bothered, and that increased to tenfold when he had started to flirt with you subtly.

Worried about the teams' opinion of your mutual affection, you and Grim would sneak off into a shadowed corner of the junkyard after hours. That being said, you both haven’t actually fucked yet, with Grim being worried about his size and all. But you had once suggested that there were other ways to have fun that are a little risque, like grinding yourselves on each other.

It was your turn tonight. Your thighs claimed territory on his thick ones, clamping around one of them as you rhythmically grind your clit against his warm inner thigh. Manoeuvring your legs around the metal of his outer thighs was a challenge, but you found just the right angle for both grinding against him and having full access to the sight of his thick, pulsing spike.

“Shhh,” Grimlock leaned down to peck the crown of your head, “You gotta remember to keep it down, or else we won’t hear the end of it from Bee.”

“I know, I know…” You whine, gripping his chassis for support, “Just… feels so good…”

“You imagingin’ being stuffed full of my spike, ain’t ya?” Grimlock growls lowly, one hand moving from your hip to paw at his engorged spike, “We must be twins, cause I’m imaginin’ the saaaame thing…”

Now, with that image seared into your brain, you grind onto his thigh more frantically. Your heart is racing, and your thighs are burning from the added effort. Grimlock groans, pushing your hips down further and aiding the rock of your hips, all the while pumping his cock in tandem.

“That’s it, baby,” Grimlock pants, nearing his own completion, “Overload on me.”

And you do. With your nerves on fire, you let out a strangled cry as you cum on his thigh. Your head leans forward to rest on his chassis as you tremble, barely able to catch your breath. You can hear Grimlock’s hitched breathing, too, and you glance down to watch as he overloads in his servo, spilling warm trans fluid on his abdomen and your closest thigh to him. You watch it throb as he milks the last bit of trans fluid onto your thigh.

Grimlock huffs, resting his back against a shelf. He, too, looks down to see the mess you’ve made of his thigh. He darkly chuckles, moving a servo to grip your cheeks, forcing you to look up at him, “Look at the mess you’ve made of yourself,”

He then moves his servos to grip your shoulders before pushing you to the ground, gripping your thighs as he dips his helm to your utterly drenched core, “After all, I’m never one to turn down dessert.”

[shadowbriar]

Regulus Black - Supermassive Black Hole VI

Pairing : Regulus Black x (she/her) Selwyn!Reader Word Count : 4.9k Warning : Food. Mention of alcohol. Mention of blood. Mention of SA (lip biting). Synopsis : A simple arrangement turned into an everlasting one as two naïve children try to figure out their heart. Notes : I wrote this slightly drowsy and completely out of my head. I'll do some fixing if needed in the morning. If you'd like to be tagged for the next chapters, please comment or reblog so I can add you to the tag list. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ Taglist: strikethrough means I could not tag you. @lostarc24 @hogwartshouse @milivanili99 @stelleduarte @40rimm @lilmaymayy @mischiefmanagers @happilyjollynacho @bl00dyr3gulus @lonelywitchv2 @burns-in-the-sun @lanaspepsicoke @rabluver

↞ Part V

The conversation they had last night haunts her. Each word Regulus uttered plays in her mind in a loop, buzzing as if there were bees stuck inside her brain. She thought that the condition they were in was complicated enough and that it couldn’t go any more worse than it already is yet once again, she was proven wrong.

The Greengrass girl was the textbook definition of perfection. She never knew her personally, never had any need to get to know her, but now it feels as if the universe is forcing her to know. Like a toddler being forced to eat a spoon of vegetables.

On one hand, she knew that Rosier might just be exaggerating about the Greengrass girl’s personality and how she’s the perfect match for Regulus, but she couldn’t help but to overthink. How would life be if Regulus were to marry her? Would he be happier? Would he be more satisfied? Would he love her?

There have been moments lately where she found Regulus slowly opening up to her. How he’s more comfortable with her presence, how the bitter look on his face has subdued whenever they were ‘forced’ to display affection to each other, how the word love seems to roll off his tongue easier whenever he calls her now, yet she still couldn’t stop herself from thinking, if he was married to the Greengrass girl, would he find these troubles at all? Would being married to her be as easy as breathing air?

Now she finds herself cutting the stems of flowers from the garden. It’s been a while since she came here, the one sanctuary she has whenever her mind is clouded. Her orchids are in full bloom, ready to be cut to replace the flowers in her bedroom vases.

But even doing her most therapeutic task does little to no help for her heart. Her mind was too full that she didn’t realise the other soul now standing a few feet beside her. He was dressed. Handsome and collected as always. A sight for sore eyes indeed.

Regulus clears his throat, making his presence known.

She turns to face him, stunned for a brief moment. The last time she’s seen him this neat was on their wedding day and as much as she appreciates his beauty, the unknown occasion makes her raise her brows, “Going somewhere?”

“I’m going to the Greengrass house. They’ve invited my family for dinner tonight.”

“Oh.”

Oh, indeed. Of course the two families would see each other more frequently now, given the fact that Sirius and the Greengrass girls’ arrangement is in motion. With Sirius’ unsettling nature, it is only logical that the parents of these children would need to spare more effort to make sure that such arrangement be successful. He’s wiggled himself out of the many arrangements his parents have made so far. If the two families wanted to make this reunion happen, they must surely sweat and cry blood for it.

“Don’t wait up for me,” Regulus says again, noticing her lack of response.

“I won’t.”

With that, she turns herself back to her flowers. Her answer was too quick and too callous for Regulus to understand. Something was not right.

“Are you alright?” He asks.

“Grand,” She answers, still not facing him “Tell Sirius I said hi.”

Regulus huffs, jealousy for his brother bleeds slightly, “Anything else?”

“No, have fun.”

“Is something the matter?”

She finally turns to face him again, brows furrow and the most displeased expression plastered on her face. How should she tell him that she doesn’t want him to go? How should she tell him that she doesn’t want him to meet the Greengrass girl again? How should she tell him that it hurts to know that he didn’t even want to invite her, his lawfully wedded wife, to this dinner?

“I can’t read your mind,” Regulus says again “If something is bothering you then spill it.”

She huffs, her eyes glaring at him, “When did you know about this dinner?”

“This afternoon. I got an owl from Sirius begging me to come.” He answers nonchalantly, still lost over her cause of vexation “He asked me to bring you but I knew you wouldn’t want to come.”

“Why would you think I wouldn’t want to come?”

“Because it’s just a dull bleak dinner?” Regulus says as a matter of factly “Doubt you’d even consider if I ask.”

Regulus was right. Dinner with the Greengrass would never be something she agrees to come. She wishes to never see the Greengrass girl ever again, not when Regulus is within a kilometre radius. The Greengrass girl only proves as a reminder of someone who might be a better fit for Regulus, someone who might be a better wife for him, someone who might be better for him than her. 

But the idea of him spending hours with the Greengrass girl, though not alone, peels her skin. What if he realises that she was the better pair for him tonight? What if he realises that refusing the betrothal to Aquila was wrong? What if he realises that their wedding was a mistake?

Jealousy is a bad sight, indeed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asks, sounding offended.

“I just— I don’t know!” Regulus says in frustration, ruining his perfectly combed hair as he runs his hand through it “Do you want to come?”

“Do you want me to come?”

“Stop turning my questions back to me.”

She rolls her eyes, “That’s rich coming from you.”

“What is it with you?” He asks in despair this time, looking completely baffled at her demeanour “Do you want to come?”

“I don’t know. Do you want me to come?” She asks again, still with that irritated tone “It’s your family dinner. You have the bigger call in this.”

Regulus bites his inner cheek, taking a few paces back and forth as if he was in a big dilemma. In his mind, he was doing her a favour to not invite her to what would be her death, seeing Sirius, the man he still believes is the one she’s having feelings for, being promised to another girl. 

Perhaps her hostile remarks were caused by her jealousy. That she was hurt from his brother’s betrothal and had no other outlet to relieve it. A pain that he has to suffer in silence. His hair is even more messy now as he keeps on running his hand through it, completely frustrated over one silly question she asked him.

“Fine,” He says at last, surrendering to her cryptic meaning “Please, come.”

—-

“Stop fidgeting,” Regulus grumbles as they enter the Greengrass Manor.

“If someone was smart enough to tell me earlier that we’ll be going to a dinner then I would have more time to prepare myself, hence avoiding this state of a messy hairdo,” She spat back, glaring “I’m trying to be decent enough and not embarrass you.”

“I told you, I didn’t think you’d want to come,” Regulus reasoned “And you look beautiful. Now calm down and smile. You’d look even more beautiful then.”

She knew that her cheeks must have been as red as a tomato now. Granted that was the nicest compliment Regulus has ever given, even when he looks like he’s being tortured saying it with his angry expression still etched on his face. It was strange to see this side of Regulus. Though he still evidently has his rough edges and cold demeanour, it is obvious that he’s trying his best to warm up to her.

A cause to fuel her wide smile for the night.

“Oh, thank Merlin you’re here,” Sirius says as he scoops her into a hug “I thought I would have to spend this dreadful dinner alone.”

“Glad to have come to your rescue, Brother,” Regulus snorts, his eyes now eyes the small crowd of people “Is that—,”

“The Rosiers, yeah.” Sirius answers.

“Rosiers?” She asks, looking at the direction the brothers were staring at “What are they doing here?”

Sirius shrugs, “Maybe one of the Rosier kids is courting the Greengrass daughters.”

“Ah, a little competition for you then,” She jests.

“Please,” Sirius rolls his eyes “They can marry all the Greengrass daughters for all I care.”

She smiles at Sirius’ remarks. It was obvious that Sirius paid no mind in this arrangement, something that certainly isn’t out of his character. She turns her gaze to Regulus who still has his eyes locked on the Rosiers, looking as if his night has gone from bad to worse. The stiff state of his shoulders and how his eyes are now sending deathly daggers to the Rosier family was baffling.

“You alright?” She asks, giving Regulus a light squeeze on the arm “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Worse,” He mutters before turning to Sirius “Do you have any idea where Mother and Father are at? I think we’ll leave early tonight.”

“But dinner hasn’t even started,” She protests.

“I’m sure we have food at home,” Regulus says with a forced smile.

“Mother will have your head if you leave before dessert is served, Reg.” Sirius says with a chuckle “You might be the favourite son but she’ll never let you out of this circus. You’re as trapped as I am.”

Regulus huffs, looking irritated beyond words.

“What’s wrong with you? Took a glance at your own bestfriend’s family and suddenly wanted to leave.” Sirius comments, an eyebrow raised as he studies his brother “If I see any of my friends here, James or Remus or Peter, I would consider staying, not leaving.”

Regulus didn’t answer.

It was a question she’s itching to ask too. Something tells her that the friendship Regulus and Rosier said to have been mended has actually been burned to ash, no turning back this time. Whatever it is Rosier thought Regulus stole must have been something so precious, so important that the two couldn’t look past it. Or rather, Regulus couldn’t look past it.

Perhaps he was offended at the accusation. Regulus certainly doesn’t seem to be someone who would steal anything from anyone. What could he possibly want to steal after all? With his family wealth and reputation, the power his name holds, what could he possibly ever desire that he could not gain on his own? What is it that Regulus desperately craves that he has to ruin his friendship with Rosier in the process?

“Whatever,” Regulus snorted at last, turning to his brother with that bitter expression still evident on his face “You owe us big time, Brother, and I will collect.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, impressed yet appalled at the same time.

“I’ll go look for my parents,” Regulus announces, leaving the two on their post.

She watches as Regulus’ shoulder turns and slowly walks away, becoming a smaller silhouette before completely disappearing behind the pillars. Salazar knows just how many times she’s seen him walk away now. Each time scratches the surface of her already whimpering heart and leaves a mark that she doubts even time could heal.

It feels like some time in the near future, he will walk away for good.

“Well he’s always been a pleasant kid to be around,” Sirius comments, frowning still as he tries to understand his brother’s antics “I hope he treats you better than that.”

She shrugs, “I’m getting used to it.”

Sirius’s eyes lingered on her, studying her expression as if he wanted to look for an answer. As if he wanted to crack the riddle he’s been unable to decipher for weeks. It was one thing to be stared at by Sirius in the open when he was being himself but his obvious hidden meaning is bleeding out and it’s starting to make her quiver in uncertainty.

“Look, Love,” Sirius finally sighs, making her heart heavier “I really don’t know what to say about that dear brother of mine, but believe me when I say that his heart came from the right place whenever it comes to you. He cares for you, much more than he’s willing to admit. He’s just struggling to find the best way to convey his means.”

She remains quiet, trying to believe the older boy’s words.

Sirius bites his inner cheek as if he was debating to spill his gut, but Sirius was never one with a strong self-resistance as he questions, “I know it’s not my place to ask, Bug.. But why did you date Regulus?”

Her brows knit, taken aback at the sudden question. No one has ever asked her why she dated Regulus. In the early days of their pretend dating there were wonders and questions, sure, but such a curiosity only lasts for a day or two. Everyone simply accepted the fact that these two Slytherin royals are bound to be with each other, familial duty or not, but to be asked by Sirius, the one person that has always been so close to the two to see the connections others are making, is pushing bile up her throat.

The memory of Sirius’ bitter expression on that train ride back from Hogwarts replays in mind. She’s suddenly reminded by how Regulus seems to be on edge everytime Sirius was around at first, as if the brothers were fighting and Sirius was the one holding a gun to the younger brother’s head.

A sight that was never experienced before.

“What do you mean?” She asks, an unsure smile tugs on her lips “Was the idea of us dating so appalling?”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Sirius says fast, shaking his head “It’s just that— I never knew you two were close in that sense, you know? I mean perhaps it’s due to the fact that we’re sorted to different houses but I truly have never seen you two together. And I know how cold Regulus could act so I just—”

She bites her lower lip. Her bad habit comes out, making her lip bleed a little. She knew Regulus would scold her for this later but she couldn’t stop herself. If there is anyone that could crack their faulty agreement, it would be Sirius, there’s no question in that. He knows her too well, lived under the same roof with Regulus for too long to not notice all the peculiar details to their relationship.

“—thought that there would be no way that you would ever date him.” Sirius says with an awkward laughter.

“Who would you think I’d date, then?”

Sirius shrugs, “I don’t know. No one, I suppose.”

“Would it be disastrous if I actually like Regulus?”

There was a pause. She wanted to look away from Sirius’ gaze, to mentally hide and run from his studying eyes before she showed him too much of her truth but realisation hit the older boy too quickly. The look on Sirius’ face changes from confusion, to understanding, to anger and disappointment within seconds.

His reaction felt like salt to her wound. It twisted her stomach even worse now as Sirius stared at her with that pitiful look. It was as if he knew the full truth. How their dating, their marriage, everything about their relationship wasn’t based on love. How she is the only one trying to row their ship to the shore. How she is the pathetic party that is bound to have their heart crushed and stomped to the ground by the end of the day.

But there was a glimmer of anger in Sirius’ eyes that she couldn’t pinpoint why. It was certainly not out of jealousy, rather a secret knowledge Sirius possessed that brought embarrassment to her confession for all the wrong reasons. It was as if he knew something she didn't.

“Does Regulus know?” He asks.

“No,” She says quietly, feeling even more humiliated now “I don’t plan for him to ever know.”

“What do you mean you don’t plan for him to ever know? He’s your husband.”

“Yes, well— We’re not exactly the most traditional couple there is, are we?”

Sirius opens his mouth, only to close it before any word could escape. He looks frustrated for some reason, as if he’s a time bomb ready to explode any minute now. His eyes were busy scanning the crowd of people, no doubt trying to find Regulus. Perhaps he could provide the answer the two are looking for.

“I’m going to kill him.” Sirius mutters.

“Why? Because I’m crushing on him?” She jokes.

Sirius’ gaze softens, placing a hand to her shoulder as he kisses her temple gently, “I think I need to find my parents.”

She knew that it was a bad lie. Sirius would rather have his head than to ever look for his own parents which makes her feel even more embarrassed and confused now. What could be so bad about her actually liking Regulus? Shouldn’t he be happy for them, knowing that even though their relationship is as dysfunctional as one could possibly, there’s still seeds of innocent feelings planted underneath? What is it that he knew?

—-

Regulus was certain that, for once in his lifetime, he knew that she wouldn’t want to come to the Greengrass dinner. It would be hell to come and sit for hours on the same table where your real crush is about to be promised to another girl while you’re stuck married with someone who you don’t even love. Regulus was still convinced that if she indeed harbours feelings for anyone, it would be none other than Sirius and he has stripped her out of any possibility to unite with him.

He supposed the sour response she gave him earlier was because he tried to keep this away from her. That he tries to save her from another heartbreak of watching Sirius play courting with the Greengrass girl. She must have been heartbroken to know that the arrangement was in motion hence all the snappy gestures towards him.

But then again, Regulus was proven wrong.

She can’t understand me, she said, Regulus thought as he dawned yet another flute of champagne, does she think she's the easiest person to read?

“Regulus!” A voice called as they snatched the empty glass away from his hand “What in the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?!”

“Oh, don’t be the moral police now, Sirius,” Regulus scoffs “As if you don’t get yourself hammered on every function we ever attended.”

Sirius’ eyes were still piercing, clearly disapproving of the younger’s action, “Is that really what you plan to do? Get yourself hammered?”

Regulus rolls his eyes, not answering.

“Who’s going to take care of her if you’re drunk?” Sirius asks.

“You,” Regulus answers flatly “And I won’t be drunk from champagne.”

“I am going to murder you, Brother.”

Now Regulus raised his brows. He looks up to Sirius, studying his expression closer to notice the underlying anger on the calmness of his brother’s gaze. Identical pair of eyes staring back at him, silently scolding him in ways that it surprises Regulus. Whatever fault he’s done now must have upset Sirius so much that he couldn’t even let his mouth run its course.

“For drinking champagne?” Regulus asks, taunting.

Sirius rolls his eyes, sighing, “Why don’t you go and find your wife. You’ve left her alone long enough.”

“Why did you leave her? I’m sure she appreciates your presence much more than mine.”

“Oh, you couldn’t be more wrong about that.” Sirius chuckles this time.

“Trust me, I’m not wrong,” Regulus snorts, stubborn “She likes you, do you know that? If only you’d say yes to my request and date her, we wouldn’t be stuck in this depressing dinner.”

“She doesn’t like me.”

“Oh, you couldn’t be more wrong about that.” Regulus mocks, returning his words.

“Why are you so persistent that she likes me?” Sirius asks instead, folding his arms to his chest to challenge Regulus “What makes you think that she likes me? Has she ever told you that?”

“No, but you make her laugh,” Regulus argues “No one could make her laugh as loud as you do.”

“Well, have you ever tried to make her laugh? Maybe you could make her laugh even louder.”

Regulus was stunned. He blinks, brows furrowing as he tries to digest Sirius’ words, “Don’t jest with me.”

“I’m just saying,” Sirius shrugs “You always say that she likes me because I make her laugh, have you tried to make her laugh? And even if she doesn’t laugh louder with you, do you really think that all she needs in life is laughter? That what she seeks in a partner is just some giggles?”

“She looks the prettiest when she laughs.”

Sirius narrows his eyes. Regulus’ comment would never escape his lips without the help of Merlin knows how many flutes of champagne he has drunk tonight. There was a hint of delicacy in the eyes of the younger boy now. As if he was remembering the moments where she was smiling and laughing in his head.

“She doesn’t like me, Regulus.” Sirius says again, this time with a softer yet fixed tone “I know because she told me.”

“She told you she doesn’t like you?” Regulus raised an eyebrow “How? Did you ask if she likes you? Did you ever have feelings for her? Have you ever confessed?”

“Yes and no to the rest of your questions.” Sirius answers, placing a hand to his brother’s shoulder in a reassuring manner now “All you need to know is that she doesn’t like me. Not in any way you think she does.”

Regulus frowns, unimpressed.

“If you don’t believe me, why don’t you ask her yourself?”

“I’d rather face the cruciatus curse.”

Sirius bites his smile, “Why are you always skittish whenever we talk about this?”

“Talk about what?”

“Her,” Sirius responds, still with that amused smile lingering on his lips “And you.”

“And me?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not skittish.”

“You are.”

“I’m not.”

“You are, Regulus.”

“I most certainly am not.”

“Do you fancy her?”

Regulus was silenced. He could feel his cheeks heating up with the growing smile on his brother’s face. The cat is finally out of the bag and it just has to be Sirius to be the first one to know. How brilliant.

Without a word, Regulus reaches for another flute of champagne and gulps it in one go. He places the empty glass to the table, fixing his hair and dress robe. He could feel Sriius and his teasing smile staring at him, studying all the little bashful gestures he makes now that his secret is compromised.

“This conversation never happened.” Regulus says to Sirius, his eyes glaring in all seriousness.

Sirius, still smiling from his recent knowledge, raises his arms in surrender. He steps out of Regulus’ way, not saying a word. Just how fantastic this dinner has become.

—-

Spending time with Rosier, smiling and laughing over the banter he throws shouldn’t bring any form of pleasantness in her heart yet here she is, standing in front of the boy with a gleeful grin plastered on her face.

“Tell me more about Aquila,” She says once their laughter has died down, hiding her bitterness behind a feigned smile “She seems to be a lovely girl.”

“She is, I suppose.” Rosier says, shrugging “Like I said before, I don’t know much about her. She’s the reserved one of the other Greengrass kids. I think I could count the limited time we’ve interacted throughout the years with my hands.”

She smiles curtly.

“Why do you ask?”

She bites her lips once again, feeling the foul taste of iron bleeding once more. It was an ever ending debate for her to tell Rosier about the supposed betrothal of Regulus and the Greengrass girl. On one hand, she needed to know more about the girl and she couldn’t do it without telling Rosier the truth. He wouldn’t give her the information she needed otherwise. But she was still wary about the state of friendship he has with Regulus. She wasn’t sure if the boys had actually put their past behind them.

“Just because,” She says instead, shrugging and smiling “She’s about to be part of the family. I just feel like I should get to know her better.”

“Well, good luck with that.” Rosier says with a mocking chuckle “As private as Regulus, she is also as callous and uninterested. It should be a real treat to see her actually marrying Sirius.”

Once again, she only replies with a smile.

“I have not seen Regulus,” Rosier said, taking a sip of the champagne in his hand “Where is he?”

“Not sure,” She says now, eyes looking around “I—”

“Right here,” A voice answers, followed by a hand encircling their way around her waist. Regulus smiles at her, planting a soft kiss to her temple as if he’s missed her “I wandered around and lost track of time. I’m sorry, Love.”

She smiles at him, unable to form any words from his sudden gentle gesture.

“Regulus,” Rosier greets, a bitter smile evident on his face.

“Evan,” Regulus nods at him before turning to face her “Can I steal you for a minute, Love?”

Confusion was clear in her eyes but she bobbed her head, “Of course.”

With a short nod and half-hearted smile to Rosier, Regulus led her out of the room. His hand was holding onto her wrist, a firm yet gentle grasp that made the butterflies in her stomach go frantic. He was walking at a fast pace, eager to leave the room as if he couldn’t get any oxygen inside.

Once they were out at the garden, Regulus let her hand go and paced away, creating space between them as he ran his hand through his hair.

“What in the bloody hell were you doing?!” Regulus yells, clearly angry now “Talking and laughing with Evan? Have you lost your Goddamn mind?!”

She blinks in confusion at his sudden outburst. Her eyes were glued on him, watching as the boy had his meltdown with zero comprehension as to what might cause it. Was talking and laughing with Rosier really that big of a mistake? Didn’t he say that they’ve rekindled their friendship? What exactly is the problem now?

“I left you for a few minutes and you’re flirting with my ex-best friend.”

“Alright, hold on, now.” She says at last, feeling anger to boil up at the accusation “I was not flirting with him, alright? We were just talking. You left me for more than half an hour, you can’t possibly expect me to not try to talk to some familiar faces.”

“Oh so Evan is familiar now?”

“I— What is wrong with you?” She asks this time, taking closer steps to him “Are you drunk?”

“There’s literally other people you can talk to. You could’ve talked to my parents or the Greengrass, not Evan.”

“Are you hearing yourself right now? I don’t know any of the Greengrass and I couldn’t find your parents. Even if I did find them, what exactly can I talk to them about? The weather?”

“Better still than talking to Evan!”

She was speechless now. Regulus was never one to let his anger out this way, never to be this emotional. Whatever fueled this meltdown must have been some other bigger problem that he’s not telling her about. That and the fact that his breath smells like alcohol.

“You’re drunk,” She says, trying to be the sane one out of the two “Let’s just go home. Wait here. I’ll find your parents and tell them we’re leaving early.”

“No, you’re not going back inside.”

Regulus pulls her, his hand clutching to her wrist once again but with apparent despair this time. His eyes were still filled with fury but the way his brows furrowed and the way his lips quiver as if he was fighting back tears makes her stunned. Regulus was fighting a battle she doesn’t understand about.

“Don’t go back inside,” He says again, this time with a much softer tone. Begging.

“What’s going on, Regulus?” She asks “What’s wrong?”

Regulus remains quiet. His anger subdues as he stares back at her. His eyes travel from her eyes, her nose, down to her lips. Another frown forming on his face as he notices the trace of dried blood on her lips.

“You bit your lip again,” Regulus whispers “How many times should I tell you not to do it?”

She remains quiet.

“You’re driving me crazy.” He says again, his hand reaching to cup her cheeks “Fuck this.”

With that, he pulls her for a kiss. A hungry, desperate kiss that would surely leave the both of them out of breath once they part. She couldn’t fight the urge to not kiss him back once his left hand pulls her closer by the waist. She couldn’t fight the urge to not kiss him back once he moaned as her hands found their way to play with his hair. She couldn’t fight the urge to not kiss him back once the only thing filling her senses were his body heat and the smell of alcohol from his breath. She couldn’t stop.

“Be mine,” Regulus says between their kisses “Please, be mine.”

“I’m already yours.”

As if she’s said something so appalling for him to hear, Regulus pulls away and stares at her. His eyes were half open, hair completely in a mess now from all the tugging and pulling she’s done. He looks beautiful.

“I’m sorry.”

Then everything turns black. Regulus passed out.

↠ Part VII

[dire-kumori]

I wanted to write tonight but my brain is full of bees so I’m daydreaming about killer crying child AUs instead. Okay, so this is actually mainly sparked by me reading some of @lonelyfreddles‘s posts (which are angst-filled masterpieces by the way) and having some self-indulgent daydreams.

Basically, I’ve got a blob of a daydream about Michael becoming a reluctant accomplice to his little brother after Evan takes up serial killing. Not doing any of the killing himself, but cleaning up the bodies, hiding evidence, providing alibis, and misdirecting the police as needed. Driven by guilt for ‘forcing’ Evan into this, he does everything he can to protect his little brother while also trying to convince him to stop. Michael’s still heavily attached to the mental image of Evan as a timid and gentle child, and is in deep denial that he can still be ‘saved.’

In the end, he’s never able to convince Evan to stop, and when the police close in Michael confesses to the murders, accepting the death penalty without a fight and allowing Evan to go free to skip town and continue his murder spree until he eventually meets the same fate.

[mihai-florescu]

I remember making the cluster b brothers image for you that was fun. Do you wanna elaborate on that maybe. I'm toujo brother brained rn so I wanna talk about them but I don't have the words. Just a garbled mess in my brain rn.

Yeahh i remember seeing a thread about a hc of himeru having npd where i thought the actual thread itself wasnt the best it could be but the headcanon itself was solid with other better examples. And one could argue kaname has it too, and examples can be brought for bpd kaname as well (is there any full obbligato tl anymore? It is quite a blur having last read it over a year ago. I dont like to analyze things if i dont have the texts open but honestly i dont think i could write anything long tonight anyway)

At the top of my head for bpd kaname the fear of abandonment (born from...being abandoned), intense relationships marked by idealization (a bit off topic but not quite, just a musing, i wonder how his perception of the brother he was trying to impress will change after he sees what oremeru has done...), instability and impulsivity (the scene where he jumps to choke tatsumi you will always be famous). And for npd, grandiose self image with the self imposed persona of himeru he created, the need to be admired by other students, sense of superiority from literally being a special student (which gets taken away from him and it destabilizes him at the time), general concern about his status. Big hypersensitivity to criticism or rejection, from wanting to be seen as the perfect idol to actually hiding his fuckups when reporting back to his brother etc.

For npd oremeru i think the pitfall is to not interpret the himeru persona he stole puts on as actually being the real him. Neither of the brothers are actually the himeru mask that they show the world, but the persona does evolve from them yknow? At the top of my head my mind goes immediately to the scene where oremeru admits part of why he decided to become himeru is for his own self satisfaction too, knowing he has the ability to pull it off. I absolutely love whenever characters are fooled and actually fall for the perfect himeru and then the bees are like huh yall actually see him like that? I think i went off topic. Sorry. Back on track, oremeru also has a need for admiration and attention, literally ran away when his dad remarried, and enjoyed having kaname look up to him for how to proceed in his career.

I am starting to shut down sorry i hope this was enjoyable to read though! Cluster b are also genetic so thats part of why i made the cluster b tojo brothers post in addition to them both having traits. I feel like there was something else i wanted to say but im half in mimir land already. Ah it was something about jealousy of tatsumi's ability to love and just be kind and atract admiration so effortlessly maybe

[larks-and-katydids]

[ID: Various email openings

Hello all

Hello, scallawags

Hello, rapscallions and hoodwinkers

Hello, spelling bee finalists

Hello, secret agents

Hello, jewel thieves in hiding

Hello, pickled brains of historical geniuses

Hello, material witnesses to the Kennedy assassination

Hello, farmhands dreaming of more glamorous lives

Hello, small village of gophers living in an overturned wheelbarrow

Hello, waiting room full of Elvis impersonators

Hello, assorted small mammals wearing pajamas

Hello, humans and one anteater in a suit who thinks he's passing

Hello, dilettante arsonists

Hello, strange smells coming from beneath my neighbor's porch

Hello, future casualties of the octopus war

Hello, Bill Cosby impersonators still looking for a new line of work

Hello, wistful musings of summers gone by

Hello, waist-high piles of expired tuna

Hello, deceased canaries we really should've been paying more attention to

Hello, thirteen clones of Jeff Glass having a board game night

Hello, heirs to the prodigious Q-tip fortune

Hello, crustaceans who have really overdone it with the makeup

Hello, Willem Dafoe stunt doubles going in together on a vacation home

Hello, I'm new to the neighborhood and thought you might like this poundcake

Hello, disheveled vagrants claiming to be my father

Hello, swarm of bees unceremoniously gathered on my offspring

Hello, future plaintiffs to the suit of my undoing

Hello, deja vu participants

Hello, Gregorian monks auditioning for The Voice

Hello, mustachio'd yachtsmen with nothing to lose

Hello, scheming grandchildren always after my money

Hello, goose enthusiasts and other psychopaths

Hello, too-sober attendees at a mandatory hoe-down

Hello, contrived attempts to commiserate with your fellow man

Hello, three dozen antelopes I'm about to run over with an Oldmobile

Hello, fashionably homeless forklift operators

Hello, pools of eerie liquid where my parents were standing moments before

Hello, involuntary subscribers to whatever hellish newsletter this is

Hello, doo-wop quartets moving in on the untapped funeral market

Hello, 13 infomercial actors all trying to get through the same revolving door

Hello, turpentine dreams of an okra sunrise

Hello, people with hands (and also Gary)

Hello, potato replicas of all your loved ones rotting in the sun in an elaborate metaphor

Hello, synthetic animal protein best enjoyed straight from a nozzle

Hello, future beneficiaries of my mismanaged life insurance

Hello, squadron of hedgehogs determined to run that scamming sack of shit out of town for good this time

Hello, original cast of 'The Muppets' long day's journey into the night'

Hello, wheelbarrow full of possum corpses being pitched into traffic

Hello, pink kimonos I'll never be brave enough to wear

Hello, boiling tempers being tended by a cartoon Italian not cut out for this

Hello, something something something something

Hello, meticulously arranged parade for National Buearocrat's (sic) Day

Hello, malfunctioning kitchen implements trying to reinvent themselves as other machines

Hello, two tumbleweed roommates giving each other the silent treatment

Hello, Gregorian monks struggling to recreate Billy Joel's "The Longest Time"

Hello, stormclouds gathered o'er the horizon like the gangs from West Side Story

Hello, Jell-o molds of African despots

Alright, dinklers

End ID]

[ID: Screencap of text conversation between OP and Neal

First person says, ATS is NOT tonight. Standing by for tomorrow

Second person replies, Copy

First person says, Quit calling me that. I'm the real Neal

End ID]

Freelancing in technical theater means you’re on a lot of different email lists. People need a crew, they send out an email, you respond with your availability. Now, most people start these with things like “hey folks” or “hi everyone”. Neal is not most people.

His openers started off innocent enough.

Then, he started to push boundaries.

And as you can see, it has spiraled out of control since then.

[mjneko]

Ok

Gonna try to get stuff done tonight

Not sure exactly what but .... Stuff!

Mad at myself for not having anything ready for the last craft thing. I had a whole easily accomplishable list written out for friday, even giving extra padding to the embroidery time ? And grandma decided that night not to go to bed until after 12:30.

I'd gone up and tried but my brain was being horribly uncooperative (the "well if you can't do it all then go kill yourself" kind, whee) and I spent the night picking up stuff and setting it down. I did manage a small bit of organizing, but ... Eh.

Frustrated. I think if I try tonight I should be able to knock out a few things. Maybe I'll stick to the other day's plan, but work in some of the fun plush I was doing. Mimikyu, Gengar, the Shiba cubes, a handful of the faces for the little guys.

Then switch over to regular sewing and assemble what I can. I've still got a container full of macaron fillings, bee wings, a whole selection of small miscellaneous parts.

I don't know when the next show is.

[invisiblerambler]

Lucky for all of you my brain is full of bees tonight, and I don't have therapy until Friday.

This is going to be entirely incoherent and a meditation on about thirty things at once.

School started last week and naturally my body reacted in a very normal way which is activating my fight or flight in a way I'm not sure any other single thing in my life does, actually I'm almost sure of that.

My instinct is to name off all the things I like about the program and the opportunities it's brought me in order to not look like an asshole, but honestly it's been really hard and it's hard not to feel like everyone secretly hates or even worse just tolerates me.

I am aware it is probably my own damage and trauma but that doesn't help. The utmost awareness of everything about this situation isn't doing fucking anything to lower my resting heart rate or feel less like my skin is crawling with bees. The answer is probably to get back on an anti anxiety medication but the expected challenge with that is the idea of finding a new provider in my new state and going through the process of titrating up on medication sounds completely awful actually. I know the alternative is suffering for the next 8 or 9 months for what will amount to a couple hours of work on the front end, but I can barely cook for myself right now much less manage something that complex.

I am forcing myself to hopefully for the final time go to the DMV tomorrow and get my drivers license done. I will be honest if it wasn't an election year I would not be worried about getting it done in a timely way because as a student you get a grace period and my previous state's license is good until 2028 so I wouldn't be seeing the inside of a DMV anytime soon.

But it is an election year and after going twice this summer with bad results (half my fault, but also fuck real id) I need to just close the loop on this whole bureaucratic nightmare.

I also need to exploit to it's logical conclusion the fact that I am basically a free agent at my job presently so why wouldn't I just do every single boring task during work hours while I can get paid for it.

I also wrote out a list of the people who I need to follow up with either over email or text. It makes me feel sick because I have a horrible fear that these people don't actually want to speak to me or otherwise engage and not that they just got busy and lost track of our correspondence.

It was really comforting to talk to D the other night. I felt so significantly less alone hearing that she had been in a similar way singled out by a peer.

I didn't realize how not seriously literally everyone had taken what happened until she actually listened.

I don't think she would make a lunch invitation without seriousness behind it. And I don't need an excuse to ditch work for a couple hours and go across town.

I did make a dentist appointment today so everyone clap for that.

Life admin (mostly) feels easier than things like doing school work which is genuinely like pulling teeth. I am being so avoidant of everything to have to do with school it's like I'm allergic to it.

Maybe if I write it down enough times I won't actually have to do any of it.

I hate that school makes doing every other thing in my life feel awful.

Including but not limited to life admin.

Everything is a lot, and I'm trying to be okay with that instead of feeling like I have to fix it. It will even out, I will even out. (I hope)

[libidomechanica]

One on a visor of moss before will be spice

And comes thou hast brought such won it,     shall ever love. Cupid got out of a red-rose true lover,     or by Force of our fair Hearts, but who comprehend aright,     or paid it. In spite of Love’s gaunt blue, that would trouble     bees. That with the Muse growing

old, for the Blood their foreigned     sleep when window blew from the hill, I tried the curse so     darkly on one evenings of saints embrace to find, and leans     his Denizen had time forest-house of shall the Skies, made     long to the Sea, that you

in the children fair assist thee     the bee sucked men; but now a trick or tongue be a number’s     some smooth my whole year, in that should loved you in a corner.—     Or who was present this— when I must I stay; sad prospects     name, for life! But what prose,

noble, rich, thought in the day and     boys! He woke to turn out spake: thou age unbroken. The     brokenly, that I never false politician wise, ambitious     lightning in my heard: caw me, caw the Spittle muddy     ponderous hath be

o’ercoming curtain, shall his bounds, Charms     survey of so great spirits. One on a visor of moss     before will be spice.—He and plundered feel, he saw it upward     rise, good night from thy nature, while Peers and flower     overshadows that all; the

Glass appear wherein your roabes     be Trumpets on her ear. But once, this vaine scuse giue? Laid yours     must stoop, sincere a bird- understood in a vestal’s lot!     And sae neat, Small is turn’d aught? Don Juan, wrapt in ponder stops     of Westminster’s Hairs subside.

And her heaven, though the depth     the meet at dawn surprise, and I, when I am dead; he     shaggy jaws. The learned’s winged Chief th’ all-beauteous Mold;     the fall and there sweeter be told me from the embosom’d     goblet will please, which your

left in the cycle’s company,     can succeeds door; I try the first, that sev’nfold its dripping     head. Blush arise! The fire, like the lips like thunder-rolls. Of     their airy Garments ever draw, when kind grant in full     consecrated up his side,

and all lover, and, where, the panels     broken love has been seized upon its worth’s bosom, all     in vain tonight. A melancholy Spring’s face that he     had nothing lutes; be tender want supper, she’s less refin’d     in the little babe is

burnt-out brain, in the wing, and chaste     rejects, or tumbled down to this tangled mute, like a blank     as midnight like a hardest gazer’s wheels, their pleasant glades,     or foxlike in ev’ry Beam new transient Breath bloomings in     height against thy blood by

the Almighty Hearts doth itch, hast     slain spikes, in the other ceas’d to her glamour, wait thy flight,     nor in my heart-beat go astray from this out of all this     with faint! If smile can warm in love tunes its guards that glows. One     moments! That sev’nfold Fence

to purgatory to let the     lives and married down my face flies, all for what the Moon of     Beauty puts on all my woe? For as his lute: his dungeon     streak of a son. Clay taking the inters cold deadened     me warm’d me ungent Grand?

[testosterlonely]

my brain feels like it's full of bees tonight

[a-kyber-star]

for my 5 page paper that ive been stumped on how to do, i started dictating (which u can do on docs! just found that out tonight) and already got like a page and a half! it's a lot easier personally to speak what i need to say for academic essays rather than sit and find the words from my brain dictionary which lately has been full of bees

[inlustre]

" i kinda wish we still were , " selin admits , eyes storming over with emotion she won't elaborate on before she's blinking it away , tucking it back into the recess of her mind where it'll stay . she didn't want to think about that tonight , the inevitable trajectory her brain couldn't seem to stop fixating on the more life passed by ; the lost years of childhood and the hope those years possessed , hope that feels alien to her now . no , tonight would be a good one . her brother was finally back in town — injured but very much alive . her friends were here . daniela was still missing but at least her body hadn't been discovered , which meant she could still be somewhere alive . selin wanted so badly to believe that . she had to . she lets the talk of costumes bring her back to the present , willing herself to give savannah her full attention . the thought of a tiny version of her friend in a bumble bee costume is enough to make her laugh , the mental picture too adorable . " a bumble bee is so fitting for you , somehow . " she takes another bite from her chocolate , smiling in understanding . " oh i bet . i'm pretty sure i tried dressing up as a shooting star one year . very diy of me , but of course tons of glitter was involved . i think my mom nearly shaved my head , she was so furious . "

"It's almost hard to believe we ever were," Savannah muses, observing the scene in front of them. Red creek was a community that she had grown to love over the years, despite originally moving here on not her own terms. It was a small town, even smaller than her hometown back in Kentucky. But, there were moments that she was grateful to have had a new start here. It had given her the opportunity to meet some lovely people, including Selin. It was a friendship of her's that she cherished deeply, providing her the chance to feel like a little girl again....even for an evening.

"My first ever costume?" Sav raises one of her brows, digging in her bag for a chocolate to enjoy too. "I was a bumble bee. Pretty basic, but not as basic as a pumpkin," she lets out a giggle. "I think my all time favorite costume of mine was when I was a fairy though. I had glitter in my hairs for weeks I think."

[angryschnauzer]

Ok imma lil drunk rn but thats besides the point. Incant stop thinking about balconies. Back in my hoe~ing days I used to LOVE BALCONIES. And i cant stop.thinking about getting dicked donw by Henry on a balcony now

Darling, your wish is my command. Sorry this took so long

Room With A View

Summary: Whilst on holiday with Henry in Southern Italy, the sight of you on your hotel room’s balcony is just too much for Henry’s desires.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Female Reader (no race or size mentioned)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Exhibitionism, Public Sex, Oral Sex, Biting, Unprotected Sex, Creampie.

I do not run a tag list, instead please follow @angryschnauzerwrites where all of my stories are posted as well. Masterlist got too big for tumblr so can be found on AO3

Resting your camera on the wall of the balcony, you looked over the gorgeous coastline as the sun was starting to set, the white walls of the town buildings shining bright in the oranges and pinks of the sky. A pollen drunk bee bounced from bloom to bloom on the bougainvillea vine that crept up the side of the building and around the balcony, and you watched as it slowly flew away. The warm breeze caressed the bare skin of your legs, your soft dress billowing in the wind as it moved gently around your thighs.

The sound of the shower shutting off brought your attention back to the present, a small smile forming as you thought to the leisurely day of shopping in the boutiques you’d done with Henry, followed by a rather impromptu game of basketball with some local kids in a courtyard when they’d recognised him and had invited him to show them a few moves. You had happily watched from the sidelines, after all your wedge sandals were hardly made for sports, but you had taken joy in seeing Henry work up a sweat despite his soft linen attire.

Upon your return to your hotel suite Henry had decided to take a shower before you went out for dinner, and as much as you’d have liked to join him, it would have taken you considerably longer to get ready afterwards, plus you wanted to get some shots of the sunset.

The view was stunning, snapping a few shots before glancing back at just the right moment to see Henry emerging from the small bathroom, towel tied dangerously low around his hips, skin still glistening as water droplets hung in his chest hair. You silently gnawed at your lip, squeezing your thighs together to try and stem the arousal that was rapidly growing between them, knowing that if you didn’t get the shots of the sunset at that very moment the sun would have set. You should however have known that they were going to be the last shots of the evening you would take, as seconds later his strong arms wrapped themselves around your waist and you felt his chest against your back;

“What’cha doing?” Henry’s deep voice held a timbre of mischief and before you could answer you felt his teeth nibbling against your bare shoulder. Leaning back against his firm body your ass nestled against his crotch and you could feel the tell-tale twitch that told you dinner plans were going to be later than expected. A deep hum of appreciation resonated through his chest, his hands slowly pulling your dress up as he started to fluidly rut his hardening length against your ass, his lips moving to your other shoulder where his sharp teeth started to playfully bite, the pressure increasing as he progressed.

Henry pulled his hips back just a little so he could lift your dress over your ass, a small whistle escaping his lips;

“You mean to tell me you’ve been walking around in this short dress with just this flimsy excuse for underwear on all day?” he hooked his finger beneath the elastic of your lacy thong, pulling it to the side before that same digit found its way to your lips. Another hum of appreciation rumbled through his chest as he found you wet, seeking out your clit and giving it a few circular strokes before trailing his hand down a little to push that finger into your velvet channel;

“Hmmmn, not quite ready for me yet”

Pulling his hand away he quickly spun you to face him, capturing your mouth for a fierce kiss before lifting you as if you weighed little more than a feather to let you sit on the stone surround of the balcony;

“Henry!” you hissed, knowing what he was planning as he quickly got to his knees. Those blue eyes sparkled like the sea that surrounded the peninsular, except there was far more danger in those eyes than the mediterreanan sea. Clinging to the edge of the stone wall you nibbled on your lip as he parted your legs and pressed soft kisses up your inner thighs, before taking hold of your underwear and with one swift tug snapped it at the gusset. His gaze only left yours as he took in your glistening petals, before the blue mischief was back upon you as his wide tongue swept through your folds. 

There was no way of being silent when Henry ate you out, his tongue was everywhere; wide and juicy, he didn’t hold back with his noises of appreciation at the feel and taste of you. For you your precarious position gave another element of excitement, and as you scrambled for something to anchor yourself on one hand found his still shower damp curls, the other grasped at the metal trellis beside you, the pink bougainvillea flowers resting against your hand as your fingers curled around the metal framework holding it up. The rub of his nose against your clit and the days stubble on your softest of skin helped to bring on your orgasm, his tongue deep within you as you soaked his face with your essence, the pleasure surging through you as he held you tight before pulling away just a little to grin at you. Sliding his hand between your legs he gently pushed two fingers inside you, before pulling them out and lifting them to your mouth;

“Taste how sweet you are”

Holding his wrist you took those fingers into your mouth, tasting yourself on his digits as you sucked at them. Looking down you saw how his towel had parted where his thighs were wide apart, his fat cock standing hard and proud from between the pristine white of the towel. With his fingers still in your mouth he stood and wriggled his hips just slightly to let the towel fall to the floor. Towering over you he made you feel tiny as you sat on the balcony wall, pulling his fingers from your mouth;

“Good girl. Now turn around and bend over”

There was no arguing or disagreeing, you wanted to do it and followed Henry’s firm command, gasping as he kicked your legs further apart and you felt the blunt tip of his weeping cock slide through your folds before catching on your empty hole. With a grunt he thrust into you, growling as your walls hugged his flesh so tight at the thick insertion parting your insides. 

“Oh fuck” you muttered, breathless as your body struggled to get used to being so full. No matter how many times the two of you had sex, each time felt like the first all over again, your body struggling to take his girth before it finally yielded and you felt pleasure like you’d never felt before.

Henry was a force of nature when he fucked you, the raw power in his body meant you had three orgasm’s for every one of his, your mind as fucked as your pussy would be from the amount of serotonin in your bloodstream where you would end up lust drunk afterwards. As he ploughed into your body you struggled to stifle the sounds of ecstasy bubbling from your lips, before with a grunt he pulled you flush with his chest, one hand wrapped around your ribcage as the other covered your mouth;

“So fucking good, your cunt feels so tight as you cum…” his teeth bit into your neck as his hips worked quickly, the pleasure pain signals hitting your brain drawing another orgasm from you as Henry started to chase his own. His hips slammed into your behind, the sound of flesh upon flesh making it painfully obvious to anyone within earshot what was happening on the shrouded balcony above them as they walked along the footpath below. Screaming into his hand you came again, and with one final thrust Henry pushed deep and you felt him release his thick load deep inside you. 

For the longest moment he just held you, pressing soft kisses to your shoulders whilst still nestled deep within you, before he softened and pulled out, turning you in his arms to just hold you tenderly;

“Still want to go out for dinner tonight? Or would you prefer room service”

“Just give me a moment to clean up then we can try that seafood bistro we passed this afternoon”

A few moments later you had emerged from the bathroom having cleaned up best you could, adding a touch of makeup before stepping into the room and grinning at Henry as you shimmied out of the ruined panties and tossed them in the wastebasket in the corner. Grabbing your purse you smiled at Henry and hooked your arm through his as he paused;

“You don’t want to put replacements on?”

“Nope” you grinned at him, knowing the thought of you going commando would drive him insane for the whole meal.

“You wicked woman. We’re gonna need to get a table with a cloth on it so people can’t see my dick getting hard at the thought of your cum soaked pussy bare for me”

With a grin you pulled him out of the door, knowing it would be a quick meal and you’d be back fucking in the room sooner than you expected.