#HAARLEP I'M SORRY

[sky-kiss]

Best Served Cold

A/N: I want the record to show that I love Haarlep. Spoilers for Patch 5.0 Epilogue. Using it for evil. Hiding under a gif. Maybe don't read if you don't like. Sex and violence. Short bit of something.

Haarlep/Durge (GN), Raphael/Durge GN: Best Served Cold (18+)

Oh, the spoils of war are ever so sweet. 

The thought flits through Haarlep’s head, a disconnected spark lost amidst a sea of pleasure. The incubus grips their lover’s hips tighter, fucking up into them as if it’s their last night in Hell. Raphael’s treasured pet comes to take their pleasure from the cambion’s form one last time. Torrid, debauched, and so blessedly delicious. 

I wondered when you’d visit me, my godling, breathed into the hollow of their throat. They’d shivered, eyes widening in wonder and lust—Haarlep’s favorite combination. The incubus bathes themselves in the bhaalspawn’s hunger. You seemed so fond of my little brat. 

“Oh, look at you.” Haarlep breathes. Raphael’s voice, dark and heady, fills the chamber. The bhaalspawn shivers. “Made for his cock, weren’t you? More’s the pity: you were never disappointed by the real thing.” 

They ride him harder, snarling into the frozen air. Haarlep laughs, shifting their touch inward, fingers splayed low on their belly. He likes the contrast of their skin, devil-red against mortal flesh. Haarlep licks their lower lip and thrusts his hips up. There is something so debauched about the way the godling takes him. Furious, punishing, oh, it’s good. Nails bite into his shoulder. The bhaalspawn dips their head, licking the hollow of their throat.

Teeth graze over their pulse. 

And then they bite. 

Haarlep groans, a rush of blood and heat as they break the skin. The bhaalspawn turns their head to the side, hissing into the ruined flesh. There’s pain, but they’ve had far worse during their tenure in Cania. And they still clench around him, move. 

“Mmm, hungry for him, were you?” 

The godling laughs, nosing the underside of his jaw. “No. No, sweetling, that was just for you.” 

They purr, “I’m flattered, pet.” 

“Dreamed of it.” They groan, pushing up and impaling themselves on his cock. Haarlep spreads their legs wider. They want to watch. “Dreamed of this.” 

The incubus chuckles, rocking. “And is it everything you desire?”

“Almost.” They tip their head back, mouth falling open in rapture. “Raphael!” 

Haarlep hisses, pushing up under them. “No. No, pet, you call my name.” 

The godling laughs, rolling their hips. “Raphael.” 

Any response dies on the incubus' tongue. The voice is as familiar as breathing, so much a part of them after centuries of life. Haarlep’s blood runs cold. “You called, little mouse?” 

Haarlep thrashes, suddenly needing to get free, get out. Raphael is there. A mangled reflection of himself, but still alive. His left eye is milky, flesh badly burned and scarred. The right corner of his mouth curls up in a sneer. The godling clenches around them, moaning.

“Oh, Haarlep. Whatever’s the matter? You were so keen on using my form before.” 

The bhaalspawn’s grip is more sure than death itself, tearing through the flesh, leaving long stripes of blood across his pecs. Haarlep hisses, pitches, gets no further. They try to speak, but the damned creature kisses them, swallowing the words along with their air. Raphael closes the distance between them, hands clasped at the small of his back. Dispassionate. The once prince strokes a hand down the godling’s back. 

Fear settles low in the incubus’ belly, coiling alongside the rush of pleasure. So close to the end. A feverish weight at the base of their spine. 

Raphael strokes Haarlep's cheek. His one good eye narrows. 

“Once upon a time, you left me to our little beast…” the bhaalspawn groans, reaching out to fist a hand in Raphael’s robe. “...and I am a cyclical creature. An eye for an eye, hmm? Only fair I return the favor.” 

“Raphael…” They choke out his name, vision blurring. The godling’s teeth are back at their throat, biting, tearing. Haarlep tries to catch their hands, but they are brutally strong. 

Their little brat chuckles, bending and pressing a chaste kiss to their mouth. “Adieu, darling. It’s been…unforgettable.” 

And Haarlep screams. 

[junorsky]

Yeah I hate him. But I'm shameless so it doesn't stop me

[dodorimo]

[harpershigh]

@dvilsdesire sent:

Haarlep looked the woman up and down. "Very down to earth, I see." Was that an insult? Possibly. "What brings you here, to my play pen, druid?"

Jaheira’s fingers stilled on the spine of an old tome she was browsing through at the Devil's Den as a familiar voice drifted over, each word laced with something as close to disdain as it was… amusement? A brow arched, she smirked without turning. "Oh, Raphael. Out for a leisurely stroll, are you? Funny, I thought devils had better things to do than loiter."

But as she turned, her smirk faltered. The figure had Raphael’s features — his sharp cheekbones, his ever-calculating eyes — but there was something askew. Too fluid, too… exaggerated, like he was wearing Raphael's skin as a costume and thoroughly enjoying the act. Jaheira’s eyes narrowed, her posture shifting subtly as she took in this peculiar devil. “You’re not Raphael,” she said, coolly. Her eyes lingered on the creature’s smirk, inevitably noticing how differently he wore it. "So who exactly am I graced with?"

[dvilsdesire]

"Pfz hafr kuq oiz tatc ul ph vyjud kah efwwh."

[morgotts-moved]

when a choice in a game fits your character, but makes you sad :((

[lolliputian]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Raphael/Tav (Baldur's Gate) Characters: Raphael (Baldur's Gate), Haarlep (Baldur's Gate), Tav (Baldur's Gate) Additional Tags: Tav is Not Described (Baldur's Gate), Tav is only mentioned, mocking raphael hours Summary:

Raphael wants to become an author. For some reason, he decides Haarlep needs to be his copy editor.

[lordcaptains]

PLAYING HAARLEP'S 'GAME' | Baldur’s Gate III

I know what's done is done - you made your vow. But I'm sorry all the same.

[madschiavelique]

Hiii! Could I request some angst/fluff jealousy headcanons with Rolan, Raphael, Haarlep, Karlach and whoever else you think might work? For f! (Or gn) tiefling Tav

hi love!! i'm so sorry i took so freaking long but the burnout is insane and i'm trying to get back into both art and writing but i hope this will be good <33

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ characters : rolan, haarlep, raphael, karlach

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ content warning : mention of threesome (not actual threesome), mostly fluff, these are super soft, fem!reader, no use of y/n

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ words : 2102 ( between 444 and 600 per characters)

( not proofread, english is not my first language ☆)

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ rolan : 

Rolan wants to pretend that he's not affected by anything, to keep his composure no matter how much his brothers and sisters tease him. However, he is far from indifferent when he sees someone trying to win you over using his own magical territory.

An elf magician was trying his luck by talking to you, surely thinking that an ‘exotic’ creature like a tiefling had probably never seen a magic trick. He was trying to charm you with coloured sparkles in the air sprouting from his fingers, letting little fireworks dance before your eyes.

His tricks were nothing extraordinary, but the braggadocio with which the elf tried to win you over as if you were an easy mark left a bitter taste in Rolan's mouth.

This pathetic amateur was displaying classic spells, ones you'd obviously seen before. But he had the nerve to get a little closer to you with each trick.

It was when he pulled a rose out from behind your ear that Rolan couldn't stand still. 

A shower of scarlet petals fell from the sky. You looked up at the ceiling of the tower hall, but no one was throwing them, they were all coming down like snow from nowhere. 

With a flick of the wrist, a few falling petals joined together to form two wreaths that impaled themselves on your horns.

Rolan calmly walked over to you, a smile and a triumphant attitude to his gesture as the elf seemed to blush with shame.

“If you're trying to charm someone who's worth more than anything your miserable centuries of existence have brought you, you'd better crown her like the queen she is.”

The elf didn't even say a word, glaring at him before leaving with a hasty step, Rolan watching him until he disappeared behind the tower doors. His gaze fell once more on yours, who also looked as triumphant as ever.

“Like the queen she is, hm?” you repeated.

Rolan's cheeks turned from poppy to cherry, the shelves and tiles in the tower suddenly looking very interesting.

“He had no right to take you for a fool,” he muttered.

You smiled, taking one of the crowns on your horns and placing it around one of his. You cupped his face and kissed him lovingly, pulling away from his lips to look into his eyes.

“All the other wizards may try, only you can enchant me.”

You kissed him on the forehead, moving to the reception desk to greet a customer as you said: 

“Oh and,” you pointed to your flower crown, smiling, “I like these rings,’.

Rolan covered his face with his hands as he turned redder than ever.

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ raphael : 

Raphael knows that he has nothing to worry about when it comes to being jealous, because you're faithful to him and he only has eyes for you.

However, he's well aware that the fact that you're his partner can lead to a few mischievous people trying to get at you for various reasons.

The first, of course, is to use you as leverage for Raphael. They think you're his weakness, and while that's not entirely untrue, he doesn't want to involve you in his affairs.

Others simply want to push him to his limits, pester him until he loses his temper.

And others try to get close to you to try to influence you and get Raphael to do things for them. They know that in his darkest moments you're the light that holds him in place, and they try to play on that.

But he knows that no matter how hard they try to make him flinch through you, it's futile.

However, he can't help feeling annoyed when, once again, when Mizora is visiting him on business, she keeps ogling you.

Every visit was like that, with her making undisguised advances towards you, observing every outfit you wore and remarking on those you'd worn before, telling you that she'd buy you some better clothes to suit the beauty you were.

Raphael wanted you to be well dressed; he presented you with a variety of outfits and it was up to you to choose them. It didn't matter to him, you looked stunning in every outfit after all. But it was insulting that Mizora tried to tell him how his taste was awful through her advances to you.

He watched Mizora's insistence from his desk, her behind you, grabbing you by the shoulders to whisper something. Her tail wrapped around your waist, and that was too much.

"Mizora, I think your business here is finished for the moment, I'll study the file you've brought. I've got things to do for now, and I suppose you've got a busy schedule yourself. I'm not showing you the way out, you must surely know it by now."

Mizora gave a dry huff, looking Raphael up and down with annoyance.

"Perhaps your little love could show me the way back ?" she teasingly suggested, looking at you like you were her next meal.

"Don't you have other tortured souls in need of help to care to ?" he sighed, unamused by her comment.

She hummed, frowning at him before disappearing in thin air.

Raphael was about to say something, his lips parted, but you cut him off.

"By the Nine Hells, I thought she'd never end," you sighed loudly in annoyance, slamming the book you were clutching brutally and putting it back on the shelf.

To say that Raphael was surprised was an understatement; he looked at you, mouth agape and eyes wide as you approached him.

"To think she can defeat the master of charm at his own art, in his own house," you said, one of your hands resting on his chest as your middle and index fingers mimicked two legs going up to his shoulder, "devils truly think they can win it all, can't they?’’

He smiled, one of his hands coming to rest on the small of your back to press you closer to him. His free hand came to grip your chin, his thumb caressing the skin of your lower lip.

"I did win it all, didn't I, my little mouse ?"

You smiled, kissing just the corner of his lips without ever touching them.

"I could say the same, my devil."

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ haarlep : 

To think an incubus would be jealous would be ironic, especially for Haarlep. They have taken so many lovers, are not attached to anyone, and their very nature generally isn’t used to making attachments that pull that hard on the strings of their desire-red heart.

Except you. You’re obviously the only one that matters to them, the only one that actually considered them as something more than an object of lust but as a real being.

This connection is something they want to protect, to keep as theirs, as the only thing they ever considered they could have for themselves.

So obviously they are not much of a fan of the fact the Archivist is trying to hit on you.

Being stuck in the House of Hope, they spend their time like they can, and most of the time they spend it with you. Not just because they love you but because you’re the best company they had in an eternity.

And this idiot thinks he has the right to come near you like that.

They see him, trying to have your hands touch when you’re reaching for a tome in the archives. They see how he tries to get closer to you to show you an inscription in one of the many books in the stacked shelves of the room.

However their patience runs thin when you climb on the ladder to get to the higher tomes, and he keeps it steady while his eyes are shamelessly on your ass.

“Little one ?” they call, “why don’t you come over here and read to me ?”

Without questioning them, you go down the ladder under the confused eyes of the Archivist. You walk up to Haarlep, sitting next to him as you open the book, but he stops you before you even start.

“Come on, love, you know you’ve got a much better sit than that.”

They pat their lap, and with a little smile you sit on them. They lace their arms around your waist instantly, pressing their cheek against your neck as they hug you and you start your read.

They keep their eyes planted in his as they press a kiss on your neck that makes you giggle, placing pecks on your skin and making you laugh.

“Are you even listening to me ?” you ask, turning to them with a smile.

“Of course I am,” they assure you, one of their hands coming to caress your cheek before softly kissing your lips. “Please, continue.”

As you set more comfortably against them and continue reading, Haarlep’s eyes go back to the Archivists who’s biting the inside of his cheek.

You’re too immersed in the tome to notice how Haarlep is glaring at the Archivist, their tail circling around your ankle.

It’s silent, Haarlep wouldn’t dare to interrupt you again while you’re reading, but their eyes speak for it all : Mine.

─ . 𝜗𝜚‧ karlach : 

Karlach isn’t jealous that easily, she trusts you more than anyone in this world after all. she knows you care for her, more than anyone ever did, and most importantly you’re the person she trusts the most.

she has more complicated matters to worry about than you being interested in someone else, such as her heart problems. so naturally, she is not jealous that easily.

One evening, however, you were staying in an inn for the night. You had gone to the counter to collect your orders, as the old couple running the inn had become less adaptable and lively and were no longer serving the food. 

There were quite a few people there that evening, and the little children helped them as best they could. It was while you were waiting at the counter that another tiefling struck up a conversation with you.

Karlach was watching you from afar as she sat at your table, seeing you smile, then laugh as the stranger chatted with you. 

Suddenly her heart felt cold. It was obvious that the man was trying to flirt with you, whispering something in your ear, and you were doing almost nothing to interrupt him or push him away.

The orders finally arrived, and you came back to the table smiling.

"You won't believe the conversation I just had," you began excitedly.

Karlach thought you were going to dwell on the fact that he was funny, funnier than her, better than her in your eyes. 

“Oh yeah ?” she asked nevertheless before taking a sip of her freshly arrived ale, never wanting to break your happiness.

“Yeah! He tried flirting with me, and when he asked if he could buy me a drink, I told him I was taken already.”

Karlach’s shoulders untensed instantly, whatever fear or doubt she had about herself vanished in the air.

“As if he had a chance with you,” she laughed along.

“You don’t know the best part yet,” you leaned towards her to lower your tone, “he asked me if the one I was with was the super hot tiefling lady at my table.”

Karlach blushed as she heard that, hearing from the mouth of other people that she was hot - other than literally hot - always felt so unusual.

“What happened next ?” she asked, leaning towards you as well to hear you better.

“I said yes, and he came to whisper to my ears,” you leaned towards her until your lips were grazing her ear, “would you two be interested in a threesome ?”

Her mouth fell open, the sensation of your lips on her ear like so and the lust-filled suggestion whispered to her was almost enough to make her forget about her previous worries.

You pulled back, grabbing your fork and knife to start your food. “I gently pushed him off, that doesn’t interest me, especially when I have the best partner I could ever wish for. He’s gonna have a hard time being better than best.”

Karlach’s heart was ablaze again, fueled up for the entire night, hells, the entire week.

“I can still make sure you get your ride tonight, sweetheart.” She suggested, tilting her head to the side.

“Finally an offer I can take,” you smiled, bringing your cup of wine to your lips as your eyes set on hers.

“How long till you’re done eating ?”

“Five minutes.”

“Poor owners, they might have to buy a new bed after us.” she laughed.

[dark-and-kawaii]

Just a thought came to mind! How do you feel about Raphael, Haarlep, Rolan, and Zevlor being spanked by you (with consent of course!)? I'm curious :3

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭*✩‧₊ When Love Gets A Little Cheeky

⊹ D’awh this is so adorably cute!!! They all have nice booties so yes!!! Let’s smack some bg3 ass!!!!

⊹ Content: Smacking Some Ham ♡ ♡ ♡ - Cheeky - Cute - Teasing

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ Zevlor

Watching Zevlor do just about anything is like a treat for your eyes. The way his muscles ripple beneath the white fabric of his linen shirt when he does anything, it’s hard not to drool a little. But right now, as he bends to grab the cloth he dropped, you suddenly notice just how fine his backside is…

You’re sitting there, legs crossed, completely entranced. Your body seems to have a mind of its own as you quietly get up and make your way over to him, hands tucked behind your back, cheeks flushed with a mischievous grin. Just as he straightens up, your hand playfully lands a cheeky smack on his rear!

Zevlor’s reaction was so priceless, so cute as his tail shoots straight up, spinning around, utterly bewildered at the sudden violation of his privacy. His eyes meet your beautiful face, which is lit up with the biggest, most innocent smile and blush.

You giggle, “Sorry! I just couldn’t resist! It’s just so nice and it was just staring at me!” Your lashes flutter, laughing, and gaze up at him with the same sweet expression.

It takes him a moment but soon his body relaxes, the look of confusion on his face replaced with that sweet and kind smile of his, that smile that always makes you fall for him over and over again, “You should wane on the side of caution, my dear. One might think that you were flirting with me.” His tail slinked up around your waist to pull you closer, making you giggle again.

You rest your hands on his chest, giving it a playful rub, eyes twinkling as you reply, “Gasp! Flirt with a hellspawn? Never!” You bite your lip with a cheeky grin, leaning into him, fingers toying with his shirt buttons.

Zevlor chuckles, “Well then, I suppose it is I who should wane on the side of caution in such a situation. The look you're giving me suggests I might have a succubus in my arms.” He leans down to capture your lips, his hand gently cradling the back of your neck as his tail holds you close.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ Haarlep

Sneaking up on Haarlep? Yeah, that wasn’t really your strong suit. Even now, as you watch the creature sprawled out on your bed, lying in his stomach with that tempting ass of his in the perfect position to be played with- just begging to be smacked...

But Haarlep, being the ever tease he was, just laid there, his eyes closed as he played along with your games. The incubus is always so eager to see what you’re planning.

You try, oh how you try so quietly to sneak up on your incubus, standing beside the bedside where he lounges, eyes locked on that irresistible ass. Just as you think you’ve finally did it- that you finally were able to land the perfect blow, your hand coming down- his tail snakes around your wrist… And with a swift tug, you’re forced to fall onto his back.

“Now, now, what have we here~? What mischief are you up to, my little dove?” That voice, that sultry whisper that always sends a delicious shiver down your spine, “Up to no good again, I see? Whatever shall I do about this~?” As his tail releases your wrist, it swoops down deliver a smack to your own ass, “Looks like I’ll have to teach you a lesson or two~”

Deep down, you knew it would end up like this, but honestly, you wouldn't have it any other way~

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ Raphael

Lounging in the House of Hope, you watched your devil as he paced around, examining his latest contract. The parchment was so insignificant compared to that handsome smirk playing on his lips, how his tail swayed, and you couldn’t help but admire how his pants hugged his rear just right.

You felt so incredibly lucky to be in his presence, grateful he decided to keep you around so that you could enjoy the view of such eye candy.

As he approached where you were soaking in his healing bath, he lowered the contracts so that he could glance down at you with a dark chuckle, “Enjoying yourself, mous?”

You tilted your head with a playful smile, “would be better if I had a certain devil I knew in here with me~” you replied, lifting your leg out of the tub in a teasing manner.

“In due time.” he murmured, beginning to walk away.

But patience wasn’t on your agenda today, not at all. Feeling a bit bratty and craving his attention, you decided to make a move. With haste, you stepped out of the water, careful not to slip as you dashed up to him, delivering a playful smack to his ass.

You watched as his shoulders tensed and his tail froze mid sway. As he turned to face you, his little mouse, you flashed him a toothy grin, stuck your tongue out, and scampered back to the bath, read for the cat and mouse game you knew he enjoyed so much~

Peeking out from the water, you watch him observiently.

“My, my, how Ill mannered of you, little mouse.” He mused, snapping his fingers to make the contract vanish. In an instant, he also disappeared only to appear behind you, pressing against your backside, his body pinning you against the edge of the bath. His large hand cupping your ass possessively.

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ Rolan

Rolan was always the serious type, nose buried in his scrolls and potions. Even now as you visited him in his tower, he’s all about his work. You let out a dramatic sigh, plopping yourself onto his desk, watching him with nothing but boredom in your eyes.

Hopping off his wooden desk, you lean against him, your chest brushing up against his arm as you grin wide at him. Rolan barely spares you a glance, sighing, “Can I help you with something?”

“Just watchin!~” You chirp, wiggling your hips before slipping behind him. He’s so absorbed in his potion and scroll. Leaning back, your hands come up to frame his cute little butt like a camera lens.

“So adorable~” You whisper under your breath.

“What was tha-?”

Your hand suddenly claps down somewhat hard on his ass, causing Rolan to let out a cry, and the potion in his hands to go everywhere. He doesn’t have to turn around so you can see his reaction. From how he suddenly froze and his whole body tensed up, you can tell that the poor tiefling is stunned.

You bite back a laugh, a small squeak coming from your mouth as you cover your mouth. Rolan, on the other hand, lets out a strangled noise from his throat as he slowly turns his head towards you. His eyes are narrowed, and the tips of his ears an even brighter red.

A smirk graces your lips as you reach up to tap his nose, “Oops! There was a fly there~” you wink.

Rolan sighs heavily, his face falling into his hands as he shakes his head.

He swore you were going to be the death of him.

[bekaroth-reads]

Baldur's Gate 3 Characters x Reader/Tav with childcare habits

[ Not sure what to title this. I work with toddlers and very small children, and there are so many habits that leak over into other things I do. Thought that it would be funny if Tav had the same problem. Not necessarily romantic relationships, it can be platonic too. This is written gender neutral so it can be any reader or Tav.]

Gale- There was a general air of exhaustion that hung over the camp. But, on the bright side, at least Gale could rest easy in the knowledge that there was a very powerful, easy to consume artifact in his hands. While he usually liked to go through the whole song and dance of this unfortunate requirement by himself, he didn’t mind if you were there. You had both seen each other in stranger situations by this point. Add to this that you looked like you were about to fall asleep at any moment, there wasn’t much to be self conscious about.

Just as Gale put the artifact to his lips, you suddenly moved his hand away, giving it a few gentle taps.

“Ick, ick! Makes a Gale sick.” You mumbled, not conscious enough to be considered awake before you rolled over and fell asleep proper.

Gale gave a tickled chuckle that was slightly tinged with the bitterness of the truth in the situation.

“Oh, believe me. I know.” He patted your shoulder and got back to the deed at hand.

Halsin- Everyone else had retired to their tents except Halsin and yourself. The both of you had offered to clean up the mess from dinner. You had talked for awhile, but finally got around to actually cleaning. The pot that was used to cook dinner was left too close to the fire, so it was still too hot to touch with your bare hands. You had used a cloth to move it away, and were waiting for it to cool off when Halsin came over to pick it up.

Moving faster than your thoughts, you moved away his hand while instinctively saying.

“Hot, hot for Halsin!”

You were hoping that he somehow didn’t hear what you had said exactly. And, when all he responded was a polite, “Thank you for the warning,” you thought he might have not. However, Halsin was literally biting his tongue to try not to laugh.

A few days later, he teased you by taking a lit torch from you and gently scolding, “Hot, hot for Tav.”

Astarion- Things haven’t been great for him lately. And, by lately, he meant decades. However, he could wallow in self pity later. Right now he needed to feed, and animal blood wasn't cutting it. Lucky that you seemed to put your bed roll a bit farther from the fire than the others in the group.

He quietly sneaked his way over to you, and prepared to strike. However, when his fangs hit your neck, things took an unexpected turn.

"No bites! Not nice!" You scolded in your sleep as your hand moved to rest on his forehead and gently push him away.

You suddenly woke up. The two of you stared at each other, neither saying anything. After an agonizing awkward few minutes, he walked away.

The next morning he pulled you aside from the rest of the party and sternly whispered, "Look- you don't mention that I'm a vampire and I won't tell them about the baby-talk."

Shadowheart- She and Lae'zel had gotten into an argument. Nothing new for either of them. This one really got under Shadowheart's skin this time.

"Can't believe that slimly toad of a woman thought she could pull something like that..." She grumbled as she stomped past you.

"Hey, are you using your kind words?" You asked.

This stopped her in her tracks and she turned to look at you, her anger almost completely replaced by myrth. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" She questioned, her voice sounding as devious as she felt.

"Are you speaking well about our teammates?" You rephrased.

Raphael- He had insisted that he recite a new poem that he was working on, even if he had to wake you up to do so. Despite trying to stay awake, you couldn't help but doze off on Haarlep's shoulder. They didn't mind as, though they weren't physically tired, they would also rather be anywhere else. The two of you both being Raphael's quite literal captive audience.

"Oh, no. That most certainly is NOT what you asked me." Shadowheart teased. She wouldn't let you live this down for a long time. She's never too hard on you though.

Once the cambion had finished, he looked at the both of you expecting praise for his prose; Haarlep elbowed you just in the nick of time so you could sit up before Raphael noticed.

"Well?" He goaded.

"Truly, you have outdone yourself." Haarlep gave a purposefully unconvincing cheer.

Raphael rolled his eyes before moving his attention to you. "And, you, Tav?"

Still not fully aware of how you sounded or anything in the actual contents of the poem, you said, "Oh, how pretty, Raphael!" like you would have to a child that just gave you a finger painting.

The next thing you knew, Haarlep was rushing down the hall, you slung over their shoulder, their wings hitting your head with every movement, as they were laughing so hard it almost turned into a coughing fit. The quick escape must have been from the vaguely Raphael shaped fire right behind you, snapping and flinging blazes your direction while cursing and yelling about you not knowing what true art is.

Haarlep- They had heard that you had taken a pretty nasty hit to the head. Still, they hadn't quite expected what they were greeted with when they went to take stock of your condition like they were asked to. (Nurse work wasn't usually in their duties, but Raphael couldn't be bothered to do this himself.)

They appeared in your room to see you sitting on your bed, staring at nothing.

"Knock, knock, little mortal." They announced their presence which tore your eyes away from the space you were looking at.

You looked at them for a moment before giving a exasperated sigh.

"Where are your clothes?" You asked.

They blink a few times, not knowing how else to respond. "I beg your pardon?" They eventually asked.

You walked over to your closet and started digging through it. Eventually you walked over with a completely mixed matched set of clothes. "You have to wear something. You can't just run around in your undies!" The last part was very exaggerated as you lightly pinched and wiggled their nose.

They immediately returned to Raphael with you in tow. "It's worse than we thought." Was all they said as they sat you down and walked away.

Gartash- To say that Enver Gortash's work and habits were messy would be an understatement. It was certainly no different tonight. He had gotten blood and viscera all over him. And, seeing as he loved to get a rise out of you, he chose not to wash it off before going to find you.

When he saw you reading, he took a moment to compose himself to seem as though nothing was amiss, and walked calmly up to you.

"Anything interesting in your books today?" He asked, barely holding his excitement to hear you yell at him.

You started to say something, but when you turned to look at him you took a cloth from your pocket. Reaching up, you rubbed the blood from his face; each pass of the cloth was acompanied with a sing-song, "Wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe."

Gortash was baffled and indignant that he didn't get the reaction he wanted. He smacked your hand away and yelled, "What in the hells was that?!"

"Sorry," you offered sheepishly, "force of habit."

[octarinecat]

Tav is sick

Author notes: 1063 words, SFW, Raphael x female Tav, confused Raphael, Raphael is taking care of Tav; thanks for beta reading @gerbperson 💜sorry in advance, it may give you kind of diabetes 😅

The scratching of pen against paper was instinctively interrupted when he heard the incubus' footsteps approaching. Raphael sighed, he was very anxious to complete this important document without any interruptions.

“It seems Tav is being tormented by some foul powers today.” Haarlep murmured as he strolled through Raphael's office, landing on a chaise longue in the corner. He stretched out comfortably and began to stare at the cambion.

Raphael continued to scribble on the paper with his pen, pouring his thoughts onto the paper word by word, in infernal language.

“She is in a lot of pain. I'm sure a touch of your... body would make her feel better.” Haarlep said with a smirk, looking away theatrically and sticking out his hand to inspect his claws. After a moment, Raphael snapped out of his concentration.

“What are you mumbling there?”

“Your favourite mortal, dying in pain. I suggest you look into it.” Haarlep sighed and lay on his side, exposing his perfect body shape in a tempting manner.

The cambion put his quill down in the inkwell and slid his glasses down to the very tip of his nose, looking up from them at the incubus investigatively. He had already accepted that he would not write anything more in the document today. He felt strangely uncomfortable. Tav was usually a model of health and he never had to worry about her health before.

He got up, and, with a snap of his fingers, transported himself to the bedroom. He did not find her. Then to the living room. She was not there either. Only the third time did he manage to find her. She was sitting curled up, barely visible as all the candles had been extinguished. Another snap of his fingers and the nearest few candles lit up with light.

“Mmm.” She murmured and scowled. The monstrous headache pulsed so hard that even the smallest light source was an irritant. She held her head as if trying to stop it from exploding. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.

Raphael frowned. He was not used to showing sympathy, but the sight of her now did not make him happy either. He approached her calmly and sat down on the edge of the furniture.

“Little mouse?” Raphael began but his sentence was interrupted by her hiss until his tail swished.

“Migraine.” She hissed and clenched her eyelids tightly.

“Mhmm, yes.” Understanding appeared on his face. “The ailments of mortals plague your body. Come here to me.” He said and gestured her to him. Tav  groaned in pain but leaned against him. Raphael stood up, holding her safely in his arms. Her body was warm, even warmer than usual, and her muscles were tense. The cambion's eyebrows furrowed, he felt quite uncomfortable and without a plan. His tail began to sway involuntarily behind him.

He carried her into the boudoir and laid her on the bed. He extinguished all the candles and pulled back the curtains to block out the light that was clearly bothering her. After a moment's thought, he flicked his wrist and disappeared from the room. A moment later, he appeared out of nowhere, shaking the snow off his doublet and carrying something in his hands. He placed the icy wrapping on her forehead and gently (for his abilities) lay down beside her. After a long while, he allowed himself to fall asleep, and his dreams were filled with agonising nightmares like never before. They came one after another, fortunately disappearing quickly.

His hands tried to catch her, tormented by the dreams, but when he failed he woke from his sleep with distaste. When he awoke, he was lying alone in bed. His eyes scanned the room and he spotted Tav in the distance, soaking her feet in the healing pool.

He rose lazily from the bed and began to undress, throwing his clothes on the chair one by one. A plan began to form in his mind.

Tav heard a noise and turned around and located the source of the sound. Her body twitched and she turned her head towards the door, ready to leave. She didn't feel like getting intimate at all, she was still tired and even the healing pool wasn't going to help her get back to her pre-migraine attack state.

“Stay.” He said in a firm voice and moved towards the pool. With his words, the door to the boudoir closed with a loud sound.

Tav pulled her legs out of the water and sat with her legs crossed on the edge. He, on the other hand, slid into the pool and approached her, with a confident manner. His hands slid up her thighs, grabbed her hips and pulled her to him.

“Please, not tonight. I feel terrible…” She bucked her feet against his hips.

“I haven't said anything yet and already you're getting defensive.” Cambion sighed and removed her feet, dipping them in the warm water. “You need to relax a bit. You are very tense, my dear.” He continued in his low voice, encouraging her to cooperate. After a while Tav stood in the water, and with Raphael's help she left her clothes on the dry edge of the pool.

He put a warm arm around her and helped her sit on his knee. The water surrounded them and washed over her shoulders. His hands began a journey from lower back upwards, stroking and massaging her muscles along her spine. When he reached the nape of her neck a shiver ran through her body.

“As I mentioned, I don't feel like…” She started, but he interrupted her, dragging her by the ankle with his tail.

“No one asked. No one suggested it.” He murmured, continuing his caresses. “Is it so suspicious that I want my precious treasure to be in good condition?” He asked and began massaging her temples.

“Insanely suspicious.” She replied and sighed, but moved closer to him, leaning against his chest with her back. His tail wrapped around her waist, squeezing her gently. Raphael leaned into her and wrapped his arms around her entire body.

“Labores pariunt honores*, my dearest.” He whispered into her ears and smiled. Tav giggled and brushed her lips against his cheek. “Thank you.” She added. A victorious smile crept onto his face.

*Labors give birth to honours - from Latin.

[bitethedevil]

Theories, Character Analyses, and Nerdy Stuff: Masterlist

Here is an extensive list of all sorts of analyses I've done (or those of them I found relevant and that I often refer back to). Some of them are asks while others are just me going on a yapping-spree about this man. It was taking up a lot of space on my main masterlist, so I made it its own thing. They are sorted oldest to newest. Enjoy.

I cry about how cambions are doomed to fail from the day they are born.

Raphael and his weaponized mortality: How Raphael's plays on his mortality to lure people into his web

Raphael and the Devil's Tango: Raphael and sex

I think that Raphael is actually an okay dude and maybe we are the real assholes (I'm delusional)

I think that Raphael could be able to take over the Nine Hells: my take on why it is not as far fetched as some people believe

(Ask) Does Raphael serve an Archdevil and who is it?

(Ask) Does Raphael admire Tav/Durge?: What is his relationship to the Tav/Durge?

Raphael and the scrying orb in the Devil's Fee

(Ask) How much does Raphael's humanity affect him?: Raphael and his humanity

(Ask) A list of resources to find lore about cambions and devils

Why does Raphael hate Mephistopheles?: Raphael as an outcast devil

(Ask) What the fuck is an incubus?: Alignments and nature of incubi

(Ask) My theory on cambion cum (yeah you read that right and I'm so sorry)

(Ask) Does Haarlep feel their own pleasure or Raphael's when they use his form?

(Ask) The nature of souls when it comes to cambions: Does Raphael have one or two souls?

Raphael The Cat: A character analyses of how the cat metaphor is super accurate to Raphael's personality

(Ask) What's my 'brand' of Raphael: Some words on how I interpret his character in general

(Ask) Raphael as the Devil You Know

Raphael and his Morals: The Analysis Where I Sound Like A Devil Apologist

(Ask) What is the difference between devils and demons?

(Ask) Did Raphael rape Hope?

(Ask) Raphael’s involvement in the plot

(Ask) Raphael and Love

[littlelionwriting]

Could I request headcanons for Haarlep, Dammon, Rolan, and Zevlor with gn s/o who always makes it a habit to tell them/him that they love them/him whenever they can like when they wake up, before going to sleep, before they leave, and when they return?

I'm sorry this is so late! I have had a hell of a week but I am now done and I hope you enjoy it!

Zevlor

Every time he hears you say ‘I love you’ his heart melts. He tries to say it back, but his love language is act of service, so he makes sure you know he cares.

The first time he heard it he was caught off guard, he just wasn’t used to people saying they loved him.

When you wake up in the morning and tell him ‘I love you’ his first response is to pull you to his chest and just hold you.

He never gets used to it; every time is like the first time you’ve told him.

After you’ve fallen asleep, he will often just hold you and whisper ‘I love you’.

Dammon

First time you tell him ‘I love you’ he feels his face grow hot and he gets so embarrassed.

It takes him a little while to get used to it but once he does, he is just as enthusiastic to saying ‘I love you’ to you.

He wants to spend as much time as he can with you, but he balances it out with his work. When you pop in to tell him that you love him, he wants to just pick you up and hold you.

It almost becomes like a game between you two for who can say it the most through out the day.

Rolan

The first time you say ‘I love you’ he almost misses it since he was busy but the moment it processed in his head, he did a double take.

He is used to Cal and Lia saying ‘I love you’ but hearing it from another person? His poor heart can’t accept that you would actually say it to him.

The more he hears it from you the more he gets flustered from it. If you ever want him to stop talking all you have to say is ‘I love you’ and he will stare at you wide eyed like an owl.

He rarely says it back, but he shows his love for you by leaving you little bits of poetry and notes saying ‘I love you’ instead.

Haarlep

They find your habit amusing. They won’t bother to say it back, at least that is how it is in the beginning. Instead, they tend to tease you playfully. They’re never cruel with their teasing though.

Over time they begin to crave you saying, ‘I love you.’ That frightens them.

The first time they say ‘I love you’ back it is when you both are lounging in bed with them holding you.

After that they will often tell you ‘I love you’ when least suspect it but no where to the amount that you do.

[scuttlingcrab]

Assuming cambions can get drunk, one way or another, how about a thingy following Raphael's perspective as he wakes up after being drunk only to find himself wrapped in the arms of his little mouse (whom he is definitely not pining for even a little bit /s), even though he knows for a fact he hadn't brought her here? They are both clothed and Tav is still asleep. As Raphael tries to recall what happened the night before, he faintly remembers that Haarlep or Korrilla brought Tav to him then left... and after Tav helped/convinced him to go to bed, she turned to leave and- Oh... He grabbed for her wrist and begged asked for her not to leave, for her to please stay with him. What would he do next?

I'm slowly making my way through all the brilliant prompts folks are sending and having a blast. Thank you so much for this one, really hope you enjoy! x

Summary: Raphael wakes up with a hangover, only to find Tav sleeping on his chest. He desperately tries to make sense of the entire situation.

Hangover from Hell

Raphael floated in darkness, completely void of any sound or sensation. In a flash, a red glowing orb appeared before him, leagues away, hanging patiently. A light buzzing accompanied it, echoing around him. Raphael tried to move his head, a hand, something, but he remained stagnant.

The glowing orb increased in brightness, growing bigger as it approached Raphael. He tried to shout, to scream, for anyone, anything, but no words, no whimpers, escaped his mouth. His body pulsed and throbbed the more the orb got closer, a sharp heat radiated from where his chest would've been. The buzzing intensified as the orb’s shape grew more distinct, pointier, growing horns. 1, 2… 5 horns, each with their own red glowing sphere, almost as if it resembled… 

The void vanished, yet his head still throbbed, matching the irregular rhythm of his heart. Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. It felt like an orthon, or another savage infernal beast, was attempting to rip his head in two. He clenched a fist, his fingers touching a smooth, cold surface. He opened his eyes, but was immediately blinded by bright lights, stinging deep within his retinas.

He could feel himself spinning, losing control, no matter how hard he grabbed on to the ground for stability. Was he bested in battle? Poisoned? Did Raphael’s dear father finally catch a whiff of his meddlings? He had been careful, calculating, operating from the shadows, never revealing too much, never saying too little to even Harleep during their intimacy. What went wrong? This is not the end, he will make it to the finale. He will not be made a fool! 

He opened his eyes again, the light less piercing as he began to make sense of his current surroundings. Familiar objects populated his vision; wooden wardrobes, ornate windows, sparkling marble floors… the Devil’s Den. He was lying on the floor, his body inches from the bed. His clothes were damp from sweat, yet his skin was burning.

Raphael grumbled as he attempted to roll over on his side but his movement was restricted. Something was latched onto him, sinking into his chest. He looked down, only to find a fully clothed mortal woman… no, not any woman, Tav, snuggled into his chest, her dainty little fingers held him close. She slept soundly, as if he was a sorry substitute for a pillow. 

Raphael’s eyes narrowed, he hastily dug through the recesses of his memory, trying to cling on to anything from the night before to make sense of this bizarre predicament but could find nothing, only fuzziness. 

He sprang up in exasperation, desperately trying to slither out of Tav’s embrace. The broiling rage that had been growing in his chest was instantly extinguished by the onslaught of vertigo. The room whirled faster and faster, chaos encircling him. Raphael gritted his teeth to keep himself from tipping over. Enough! Foul creatures and their disreputable games! 

Raphael viciously snapped his fingers and the ailments faded, his mind slowly became clearer, the ground beneath him stilling. Tav was seemingly unaffected by Raphael’s movements, continuing with her slumber. His body began to tremble as he watched her.

He would prefer to have been bested by Mephistopheles, chained and tortured repeatedly in the confines of his icy prison in Cania, than find himself in this demeaning state. How far he had fallen, so disgustingly low, sharing the same ground with these mortals. 

Raphael snapped his fingers again and Tav teleported to the bed, her posture unchanged. Free of that creature. He rose to his feet, steadying his balance. In doing so, he caught sight of himself in the mirror across the room and growled. He was barely identifiable. His usual pristine hair, ever so slightly slicked back, was tangled and matted against the back of his head. His clothes were bedraggled, as if he had pulled them from an unholy wreckage. 

“Bah!” He screamed, clapping his hands together as if to destroy an insect. The action restored his appearance but his pride was still damaged, so badly chipped he wasn’t sure if he would ever recover; no spell could make him forget this.

His eyes fell on a large circular table nestled in the corner of the room. One chair had fallen over and the other was pushed aside, left askew, as if done in haste. Empty shot glasses littered the top of the table, too many to tally without immediately losing count. Two empty bottles of whiskey lay discarded on the floor.

Raphael leapt towards the table, picking up a bottle, a few drops of bright yellow liquid sloshed about at the bottom. Raphael brought it to his nose and shivered as the scent elicited a memory: Korrilla handing him the bottles with a wink as she left his chambers. Red Whiskey. He should have known. One of the finest and deadliest spirits to be exported from the Hells. A single shot of this could leave even the most powerful infernal creatures on their backs and without their wits.

He glanced at Tav on the bed. And it would surely prove deadly to any mortal. But Tav wasn’t just any creature, she was chosen. Yes in truth by Raphael for his own nefarious purposes… but as he stood there gaping at the creature, there was an impatient little tadpole swimming around her brain; waiting for metamorphosis. Perhaps that is why she was not currently lying dead on his marble floors? How she didn't choke on her own vomit in her sleep? That would have been a far more preferable sight than finding her head resting on his chest. Another thanks owed to the Elder Brain.

He pounded across the room like a caged animal as he began piecing together the events. No matter how hard he focused, he could only fish out fragments, mere images.

Tav meekly knocking on his door. Raphael leaning back in his chair, nursing a shot of whiskey in his hands, grinning. What should have been an easy win. Tav, sitting opposite Raphael, her face flushed, eyes glazed over as she rested her elbows on the table. Tav attempting a game of five-finger-fillet, nearly chopping off a thumb. Raphael’s vision cloudy, watching as Tav stumbled towards the door, a searing pain in his chest as he reached out to her...

Raphael dug his nails into his palms, drawing blood. He grimaced as he held his arms by his side. These memories, they were all false, soured by the infernal whiskey. Merely exaggerations. His neverending chase for the Crown had caused his imagination to run wild, too wild. He needed to tame his thoughts, that was the only explanation. Raphael would see it no other way. 

Last night’s antics were merely strategic.

[lets-just-daydream]

Hello! I hope you’ve been well, I was wondering if I could request Astarion with a larger chested Tav who gets insecure when people say something about it/ogle her? Maybe Gale accidentally says something (like when you wear Haarleps outfit) and Astarion gets protective of her.

(i accidentally made gale gross. SORRY LMAO)

*

You and your companions huddled together in heated discussion as you tried to find a way through the man guarding the door that didn't include violence and breaking the whole building into a fight. 

“Maybe there's another way in that Fangs missed,” Karlach offered. 

Astarion scoffed. “I was very thorough in my scan of the building, thank you very much.” 

You grimaced and pulled out your pouch of gold. A few measly coins. Barely enough to make the bag jingle. “Not enough for a bribe,” you said glumly. 

You and your group sighed. 

“Maybe we don't need the book that badly,” Karlach said, ready to give up. 

Gale bristled. “There is no way we're leaving without that book. I'm sure it will hold secrets about the Absolute. Why do you think this building is such an impenetrable fortress?” 

You exchanged glances with Astarion and he only offered a shrug. You huffed and opened your bag to take stock of your potions and fighting supplies. 

“I guess we just have to do what we do best,” you said. 

“Hold on…” Gale said. “What if we tried a different kind of bribe?” 

You raised your brow. “I'm not sure we have much to offer. Some health potions and a couple gold pieces won't be much to win anyone over.” 

“Not a bribe of objects, but maybe you could…” Gale trailed off and you furrowed your brow in confusion. 

“I could what?”

Gale stepped closer to you and lowered his voice, causing Astarion to stand straighter, his eyes narrowing at the wizard. He had a feeling he wouldn't like what Gale was about to say. 

“You know,” Gale said suggestively, making a cupping gesture in front of his own chest.

Your eyes widened in realisation and you stepped away from the wizard. 

“Gale!” You admonished, crossing your arms over your chest and looking down.

Yes you were desperate to get inside and yes you often attracted unwanted attention because of your large chest but you never thought one of your party members, one of your friends would ever suggest using your body as an object. 

You felt tears brimming in your eyes as silence befell the four of you. Astarion bristled and stepped in front of you, jabbing an accusatory finger to Gale's chest. 

“How dare you make such a suggestion?” Astarion hissed. 

Karlach stepped back with an uncomfortable look on her face while Gale looked back at Astarion in confusion. 

“What do you mean?” 

Astarion grinded his teeth. “Do you think she wants to offer her body up like some kind of whore for you so you can have your little book?” 

Gale's eyes widened. “N-no, I-” 

“You better get on your way back to camp right now before I hit you,” Astarion warned. 

You looked up and gasped, moving to grab Astarion's arm. “Astarion it’s-” 

His white curls bobbed as he whipped his head around to look at you. “If you say ‘it’s okay’ and ‘don't worry about it,’ I will be very upset with you.” 

You gulped as you remembered why Astarion would be so upset at Gale's suggestion and you cringed.

You pursed your lips and looked down before crossing your arms over your chest again. 

Astarion turned back to Gale and nodded to the road back to camp. “Off you go.” 

Gale tried to make eye contact with you to plead his case but he caught sight of Astarion flexing his hand into a fist and stepped back with his hands up in surrender. 

“Come on,” Karlach said, guiding Gale back to camp ahead of you and Astarion. 

You heard Gale begin complaining to Karlach about the book and the guard and how unfair Astarion is as they walked away. 

Astarion turned back to look at you but you couldn't meet his gaze. 

“Thanks,” you whispered softly, not trusting your voice. 

“You don't have to thank me for anything,” Astarion murmured before stepping forward and wrapping you in a hug. 

You slid your arms around him as he pulled you in and you nuzzled your face into his chest. You felt numb, unsure what to say or where to even begin about what had just happened. 

“Do you think he was serious?” You whispered, your voice thick with sadness and embarrassment. The shock of the moment after what Gale had said finally began to give way to sadness. Did your companions just see you for your large chest? Could they see past that for the other things you offered? 

“Forget about that moron,” Astarion said into your hair. “I've got you, you'll never do anything like that. Especially when I'm around.” 

You let a small half smile creep onto your face. “I'd like to go back to camp and get into bed,” you said, looking up at Astarion.

“Of course, my friend,” Astarion said. 

He stepped around and kept his arm over your shoulders as you walked, as if he were protecting you from anyone around you. It warmed your stomach and the sting of what had just happened began to slowly fade in Astarion's protective presence.

“What are we going to do about Gale's book?” You asked as you slowly wandered back. 

Astarion huffed at the mention of the wizard’s name. “He can come up with his own plan to get in there that doesn't include me or you if he wants that stupid book so badly.” 

“But the Absolute…” 

Astarion stopped you both and gently gripped your shoulders, leveling you with a serious look. “Nothing is worth you dealing with boot munchers like Gale. Nothing. We'll find another way to deal with the Absolute. Okay?” 

You nodded and smiled, causing Astarion to give you a smile back. “That's more like it,” he said. 

You made it back to camp and you saw that Gale's tent was closed shut which you were thankful for. You couldn't deal with him right now. 

Astarion separated himself from you and turned to you. “If he,” Astarion gestured his head to Gale's tent, "or anyone else gives you any sort of trouble, come straight to me.” 

You nodded and he tucked your hair behind your ear. “That’s a good girl. Now go get some rest,” he said before turning away for his own tent.

Your eyes widened at the comment and you blushed and gulped before speed-walking back to your own tent with your hands over your face. 

You plopped onto your bedroll and stopped yourself from squealing like a schoolgirl at how protective Astarion had been over you today. You took a deep breath and calmed down but couldn't stop the fluttering in your stomach at remembering how fiercely he had defended you. You needed to figure out a way to properly thank him.