#Guys I'm not going to lie to you: I've been so sick these past few days but I didn't wanna give up.

[who-is-page]

Wag Those Tail Feathers: The Wonders of Alterhuman Courtship

Author: Page Type: Essay Words: 1,065 Summary: Page's perspective on alterhuman courtship, as an individual who has been both on the receiving and giving ends of it.

[Part of the Sol System’s Alterhuman Writing Project for 2024. If you don’t want to see these posts, block the tag #inkedclaws]

As a polyamorous alterhuman, I’ve had the wonderful experience of being in relationships with people who have a variety of different courtship instincts— sometimes even all at the same time! Including my own instincts, it’s led up to some interesting realizations about the variety and diversity of expressions of love, and how wonderful it can be to be loved by an alterhuman (and to be an alterhuman in love, too).

My personal experiences, notably, revolve specifically around being nonhuman and this applies to a majority of my partners as well, which influences the flavor of this discussion. It’s been a wonder to be the target of a feathery mating dance, to be wooed with draconic jewelry and treasures, or to have my partner jump out with a meal, as proud as could be at displaying their hunting skills for a mate. It’s not necessarily just a nonhuman thing, either, of course; my orthohuman partner exhibits some similar sort of feelings and actions, too! Something which comes across especially strong in his hunt-and-gather supply-hoarding behavior in video games. But there’s something so especially intimate about having your alterhuman partner court you in a way unique to their species identity. It’s a beyond flattering form of trust, love, and affection.

And as an alterhuman who has targeted my partners, alterhuman and orthohuman alike, with my own affections, it’s also uniquely affirming to have your partners engage with your varieties of courtship for your species. There’s something incredibly special to have them try to learn your rituals and woo you in turn, even if they don’t have the same instincts driving them. It’s love with intention, a conscious effort to learn a language that’s typically foreign to them or which they might otherwise never come across on such a personal level. It may not always be perfectly executed, but the intentions behind them make them perfect regardless.

I’m someone who’s fully public about my alterhumanity. I don’t hide that I’m a dog and (luckily) no one especially seems to care in the day-to-day when I’m meeting up with strangers and acquantinces. But it’s become an important part of my dating life that potential partners need to not only be aware of my alterhumanity and accept it, but they also need to interact with it. You could argue that my spouse set the bar high for any potential future partners with how he took to my canine-ness and plurality like a fish to water, but I’m of the opinion that it’s something that should be the norm, not something so utterly unexpected by many.

Being able to engage in alterhuman courtship with your partner, as serious or as silly as it may fundamentally end up being, shouldn’t be something that you feel is utterly unreachable, that you yearn for but never feel like you’ll be able to reach. Alterhuman courtship is a wonderous experience; something that I think it’s not only important for alterhuman folks to be able to freely do with those they love most, but also to be on the receiving end of, too. It can be easy to default to the status quo in relationships, because of the societal pressure around us. Normativity around romance, sex, and even platonic affections is something that is constantly at play in the backgrounds of our culture and which embeds itself into our conciousnesses in unexpected and often invisible ways; and it’s difficult to dissect these without exposing ourselves to what some might list as “weird” or “unusual” urges and behaviors. But we can’t unpack the shame or embarrassment that might be holding us back from engaging with these urges unless we actually let ourselves acknowledge the collective, confusing feelings abound within them. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to shrug our shoulders and simply say, “I suppose I’ll never find someone who can accept me as my [species] and all that entails,” or to just resign ourselves to having to hide a part of ourselves away forever to maintain relationships.

We should toss these types of negative feelings aside and embrace our alterhuman courtship urges in earnest: that sometimes we’re not fully human, or we’re human a little to the right, and that inevitably makes romance, sex, and platonic interactions a little different for us than it might look for standard folks as displayed on a big screen. It’s not a failure on our part, and it’s not something that needs to be squirreled away due to internalized respectability politics. We can love ourselves and find love in others, for and by being ourselves. We can experience unique forms of love and adore those factors in others. This is, to me, a part of the territory that comes with being alterhuman or knowing alterhumans. It’s a part of what makes life wonderous.

In my partnerships, I love getting to bring my partners gifts. I love to bring them tiny treasures, small things from my system’s hoard, to pebble at them almost like a penguin would (sometimes including a silly little dance, of love!) It goes beyond standard gift-giving in the way that most of the people I’ve met would think of it, where presents that large are often reserved for special occasions like holidays and birthday. But it’s something I do year-round, to show my partners that they’re always on my mind, and that what is mine is their’s, too. I do the same thing with food; while normally incredibly food protective, both due to species identity and past food insecurities, I make the effort to share my favorite foods with my partners for the same fundamental reasons. To share my food, my bed, my life— and to have my partners recognize that as not just general displays of love, but as specifically displays of love intertwined with what I am, is something which displays a deep level of understanding and acceptance for my species. It’s something I’m grateful for beyond words, but it’s also something that I don’t want us as a community to accept as unheard of, or as just a one-off, lucky occurrence. Love like this is achievable and rewarding, both as a recipient of such alterhuman affections and as the giver. And we all deserve to experience it, in whatever form of love that we feel most comfortable with. Don’t tell yourself otherwise; don’t settle for less just because you feel like you have no other choice.

[mittysins]

Newt at Home

Includes: Trans mpreg, graphic labor and orgasmic birth

I'm so glad I was able to get this finished! First Mayternity, in the bag. Of course I needed to use Newt for this. I'm so proud that I've actually managed to complete a seasonal art piece. I hope you guys enjoy it!!

[FIND THE UNCENSORED ART ON TWITTER]

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Okay, I'm not going to lie and say I'm not kind of freaked out. I'm standing in the kitchen wearing a loose shirt and a pair of sweatpants, quickly scribbling down the time in my notebook.

10:56 PM. I've been in labor for 10 hours, at least. I couldn't really tell at first, thinking the twinge in my lower abdomen was just Braxton Hicks. I ate my lunch and had a nap without a second thought.

Eventually I realized the pain wasn't going away, in fact it was introducing a new pressure in my hips that I was frankly not a fan of. Okay. So that’s how it is.

I started by emailing my professor. Just a vague mention of a family emergency, and that I was going to need an extension on an upcoming essay.

Continuing on, I sent a quick “baby’s on her way!” to the group chat where my friends were dicking around as they usually did. I laughed at their excited responses as I tapped my pen on the paper. Newest contraction started 43 seconds ago. I was doing just fine.

Then to get down to business. I blessed my past self for having half a mind to have everything ready a month beforehand. Everything I needed was in the bottom drawer of the baby’s dresser. A few old towels, a package of training pads, and settled neatly on top was a pair of sterile clamps and scissors within blue plastic packaging. I felt my heart skip a beat when I opened the drawer to set everything up. This was actually happening.

It was a waiting game from then on. Which is how I ended up here. My contractions are now 4 minutes apart and it's really starting to set in. My chest burns in a weird way, most likely a result of binding for years. I accepted the lung damage a long time ago, and it seems to be making itself well known as my breathing grows increasingly ragged. I can't quite keep my legs together anymore with that ever-present weight on my pelvis. It feels like something is about to give at any second. I assume it’s my water, honestly I figured it would have broken by now. I let out a long sigh as the contraction ends and set down the pen. I sway my hips as I flip through the notebook on the counter in front of me. Written on the first page is the date my pregnancy test was positive as well as a few phone numbers. I can still see a few splotches of faded numbers where my tears had mixed with the ink of my favorite pen. The next few pages were symptoms, weight, my medications including my testosterone gel. Everything medical. I was so scared all those months ago, it almost makes me anxious to look back on those pages. I prefer to look at the middle of the notebook, where I noted when I had gone a week without morning sickness, my first weird craving, the bizarre and vivid dreams I was having. My favorite was the page dedicated to name suggestions. All my friends took turns scribbling down names they liked, laughing and teasing each other as we crossed some out and circled others. It isn't too long before I flip to my current page and glance at my phone.

11:00 on the dot.

I bite my lip and continue my swaying with a firm grip on the counter. It hurts now. That's not to say it didn't hurt before, but now it's getting intense. Each clawing contraction feels like a band being tightened around my entire lower abdomen. It's enough to keep me tensed up with my head bowed for its entirety, until finally, finally, there's that give.

I let out a soft groan as my water breaks. It's not a huge gush like in the movies, more of like a gentle pop followed by a steady stream of fluid that lasts a few seconds. I take a moment to assess my situation. Pants need to come off, obviously, but after that? I couldn't quite decide. I weigh my options as I wattle back to my room and remove my sweatpants, tossing them into a laundry pile I'd designated to this whole ordeal. I could lay in bed with a pillow between my knees and just… wait. I quickly toss that option when I realize how little I've sat still since I even realized I was in labor. A shower sounds nice, the wetness between my legs is less than pleasant and the water on my back would be helpful. I could set up a spot on the couch, just throw down some waterproof pads and a towel or two and labor there, maybe get some last minute work done.

I tense up. Oh, now this is different. I subconsciously bend my knees a little as the contraction reaches its peak. The release of pressure when my water broke was heavenly, but the respite didn't last long. Instead the pressure returned, now bringing with it an intense fullness resting just at the base of my pelvis. I grimace as I feel more fluid trickle between my thighs. Shower it is.

I watch the clock switch to 11:04 as the contraction lets up.

It's a short walk across the hall to get to my bathroom. I realize how sensitive my nipples are when I peel off my shirt. I flush at the sound I make when the fabric drags, sending a jolt down my spine. I'm getting worked up and my heart rate quickens for a moment. I turn the faucet tab and slowly drag myself into the tub, letting the warm water run down my back and legs. For a few moments it feels like routine again. Just me and my baby. No college, no work, no bills, no angry parents. Just me, lowering myself to my knees in the shower, my baby burrowing dangerously low in my pelvis with the next contraction.

It's hard to keep track of time from then on. I'm sort of just zoning out a lot, concentrating closely with each new wave of pain and letting my mind wander in the steeply decreasing downtime. Eventually I’m talking aloud to her, telling her how loved she already is, that she can come on out when she’s ready, that I'm so excited to finally meet her. That I'm ready. My mindless blabbering stops when I feel a very sudden shift.

Before I realize it I'm openly groaning into the air with the gripping contraction. It all just got very real, and I can feel myself becoming frantic. The increase in pressure was maddening, and no amount of shifting and rolling my hips would relieve it. My last contraction was at most a minute ago. I don't have long at all. I decide to push, just the tiniest bit, at the end of the contraction. It's just a little shove, I don't even hold my breath. Just enough to try it out and get a feel for the sensation. If she’s coming, she's coming. If she’s not, what happens? I wait a little longer and try again?

Another timid nudge.

Yeah, she’s definitely coming.

As soon as the contraction lets up I turn off the shower and heave myself out to towel off. I almost want to jump out of my skin I'm so excited. A quick collection of my shirt, phone and towel and I’m waddling back into my room, haphazardly tossing them on my bed. I decide to wait until after the next contraction to climb up onto my bed and really get this show on the road. When I get a look at myself in the full length mirror near my dresser I have a chance to catch my breath. My taught belly has noticeably dropped, basically screaming to the world what was about to happen. I'm flushed and sweaty and my wet hair is still sticking to my forehead. I’m all out of sorts, but I couldn't care one bit what I look like right now. Baby couldn't care less either. That telltale tightening grips me again, and when it begs for me to push along with it, I deepen my stance into a half-squat and bare down.

It almost feels… good? It's a very odd sensation but it feels like such a release to finally get to work with the pressure instead of against it. Two firm pushes in front of the mirror and I decided my bed was there if I needed it. Instead, I swipe a training pad from the package and lay it down on the floor in front of the mirror before stepping onto it. And I wait. At this point I'm so eager to push it’s hard to focus on anything else. I slowly lower myself down to be half kneeling, one foot propped up to let my hips open. I suck in a deep breath, and just like that I'm stuck in a contraction and pushing so hard I see my face go red. Exhale, inhale, push like hell. So it goes.

It only takes a few good pushes to feel something hard and very noticeably large lodged in my birth canal. Between pushes one of my hands dips down and curiously prods at my lips. I don't know what I was expecting to feel, she’s definitely not there yet, but nevertheless I’m a lot more sensitive than usual. I feel perpetually slick now considering I've been leaking little by little for the last hour and a half. But that's not just it. The past twelve hours have been the most in-tune I've ever felt with my body, like we’re finally working towards the same goal of giving birth to my daughter safely and calmly. The excitement and the love mixed with the fullness of her head moving downward almost became ecstasy. One accidental brush to my sensitive clit and I'm shivering. The sudden rush of pleasure triggers a contraction and I weakly push through it. Once the contraction ends my fingers slip into my birth canal. I was disappointed for a moment when I didn't feel anything.

Until I did. About two and a half knuckles deep, there was the hard, slimy ball I had been working down for the past twelve hours.

Oh my fucking god, that’s my baby.

I was awestruck. Just allowing the pads of my middle and ring fingers to press against her head was enough to have me grinning like an idiot.

Returning my hand to its place on my knee, I bore down again with the upcoming contraction. This time a low groan escapes my throat and I find myself leaning forward just the slightest bit. Looking in the mirror, I become fixated on the bulge forming behind my lips. I'm leaking fluid considerably now, and I'm grunting out little pushes when I swear I see a dark sliver start to part my folds. I only saw it for a split second. My hand dips between my legs once more and I press a finger into my lips. Sure enough, just out of sight rests my baby’s head. The quick progress I made surprises me, and I let out a breathy laugh as I trace my fingers back up to my dick. The warm tingling in my belly when I rub a few experimental circles into the swollen nub quickly melts my grunts into soft moans. My breath quickens. I was expecting this to be horribly painful, yet here I am moaning with the next contraction. All I can focus on in the mirror is the sight of my lips parting for my baby’s head. I moan through the stretch of my perineum, letting my pleasure bring me higher as I watch my lips pull out into a teardrop shape.

My rubbing has found a steady pace, and my hips buck a bit. I'm close, I can tell, and I feel the head continue to push my lips open. That burn is starting to set in. Another firm push.

I almost yelp when the head stretches me to a full crown, but I find myself so awestruck by the sight that I fail to make any noise at all. My rubbing continues as there the head stays. The burn is searing. Until finally, the release of my orgasm carries me blissfully as the head surges forward with a gush.

I kneel there for a moment, legs shaking and eyes fluttering, as I process what just happened. The aftershocks distract me through the next contraction, giving me time to gather myself. I can see it in the mirror, my baby’s head hanging out of me as it's supported in my hands. A sob rips from my throat as my fingers wander, feeling her tiny ears and nose.

“Oooh-kaaaaay.” I breathe, shaking off the numb tingly feeling that accompanied my orgasm. My fingers fumble around the baby’s neck, quickly untangling the umbilical cord and pulling over her head.

After lifting myself up to standing, the short few steps that should have been my journey to my bed became a quest. I knew I had no chance of closing my legs at this point, so it's a slow shuffle making my way over with shaky legs and a hand between them to support my baby. Climbing up onto the mattress isn't much easier, but I eventually manage to sit up against my pillows, legs butterflied out. From there I wait.

“Come on, kiddo.” I encourage. “I’m ready, you can come out now.” I wiggle my hips and give a tiny push, trying to get her to turn.

Once she does, I'm all in. My hands find purchase behind my knees and I pull back, red in the face as I push as hard as I can for the shoulders. The way I'm sitting, I don’t even need the mirror to see. I watch as my swollen lips spread around the first shoulder, then the other with a small spurt of fluid, and then-

I barely have time to catch her as with the last push, the rest of the baby spills out with a gush.

“Oh my god-” I sputter out as I lift the infant to my chest. As soon as she touches my skin, she begins wailing. It's the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I check her over with wide, misty eyes.

“You are just absolutely perfect, aren't you?”

I giggle at her squirming attempt to get comfortable. So that’s what’s been keeping me up at night.

The ache sets in quickly, and I make quick (quick enough) work of delivering the afterbirth, cutting the cord and making sure we were both cleaned up and warm. Once I'm in a pair of sweatpants and back with her on my bed, I lay her back down on my bare chest, opting for a light blanket to wear cape-style and cover us both. I'm absolutely awestruck.

“Alright, we’ve given your aunts and uncles enough emotional prep time, don't you think?” I say decidedly to the already-sleeping infant as I unlock my phone, quickly finding the “video call” button in the group chat.

I'm grinning like an idiot as three of my friends join the call at lightspeed, the other two following quickly behind.

“Guys, someone wants to meet you!”

[kanmom51]

Time to wrap up and close shop.

3 years.

That takes us back to when?

2020?

I guess it is time for me to say my goodbyes, accept that JM and JK are not together and that Tae and JK are married.

But...

Before I go, I guess I have a few questions...

Can't help but wonder when this happened and how exactly Tae agreed to marry JK after JK sucked on his soulmate's ear and tattooed his soulmate's name on his hand.

Was it before or after Tae's soulmate sucked on JK's neck and JK, his husband then already (?) paraded said hickey around for all to see, caressing it so lovingly and proudly?

Kind of wondering how this marriage is working back in 2020-21 with JK and JM living together.

So, Taekook married while JK is keeping on holding JM?

And bridal carrying JM in LV.

And telling JM he loves him out loud and the finger hearts.

Always the finger hearts.

Wow, what a show JK was putting on...

Talk about dedication.

Hiding out in a dark corner touching... JK probably knew the camera was coming, he had to. Same with his arm on JM's waist.

And talking about waists... was this really necessary?

And all these latest lives. It must have been Tae's way of supporting his soulmate. Must have been. No other explanation why his hubby would be acting like a love sick puppy every single time JM showed up in the comments, or dedicate a full 90 minute live to JM.

See that smile?

Definitely put on, and all for the love of his beloved husband, who, btw didn't publicly congratulate his soulmate himself for his first solo album, or for his record breaking achievements. Nope. He sent JK to do it for the two of them.

Ok, I guess the joke is over.

Because if I don't stop here there might just be some that will actually think I'm serious.

Taekookers are reeling. They are devastated and throwing punches in every direction possible.

This one, TKK being married for 3 years is a new one. Well, sorry, I lie. Not first time I've heard the marriage story. The 3 years is new. The level of delusion here is wow, hard to describe. The story I heard was of marriage in LV, adoption of 2 little American kids, living with Tae at home. Sorry, with Taekook at Tae's. These beautiful children they adopted in LV and are now raising together.

So yeah, there's that level of delusion.

Now with Taenni out and public we have new stories.

We have the denial, of course, with the stories about cosplayers, all disproven (these fuckers stooped so low they stole a woman's photos claiming her to be the Jenni cosplayer only for her to go public about it).

And then you have those that are still towing the line and claiming it's all a publicity stunt.

Cause yep, the 2 super popular idols in the 2 biggest Kpop bands in the world need to have a supposed relationship to boost either of their popularity and help their careers.

Fucking morons.

a. Seriously? These two need that to boost their publicity. These two rival companies working hand in hand to create this fake relationship going on for over 18 months to what? Have Tae go from 58.8 million followers to 58.9 million. Talk about a failure of such an elaborate plan... Lest we forget about the hate Jenni has been getting all this time from TKKs all this time. Definitley a publicity stunt.

b. I'm infuriated at how ignorant these people are. Because with even minimal understanding of Kpop culture they would know that for an idol to go public with a relationship there is a price to pay. Idols don't have the right to have private lives. They don't have the right to have relationships, especially not in the prime of their success. the very few who had gone public with their relationships in the past had done so before marriage. They apologised for having a personal life.

Moon Hee Jun, Taeyang, Chen, Bobby.

The fact that there are so few of them should be an indicator as how this really is not a career helping move.

Having a personal life, being in a relationship, being emotionally unavailable for your fans is not a publicity stunt in Kpop. It can be a career killer. And even if it doesn't kill the career, it definitley does not promote it, quite the opposite in the short run.

And Tae, well he's already paying a price. We already saw all the angry fan messages about how they were betrayed by him, about how he's supposed to be theirs. Putting him together with JK is an easy fix, it's not realistic, it keeps him available for them (well in their twisted minds).

So yeah, definitely not a publicity stunt.

And then you have those that are turning on him. Well on the whole maknae line, because why not? Why not bring JK and JM in on this if you can (especially JM, right)?

The ones that are mad that he is in an actual relationship with another woman, the scorned.

The ones that are now angry claiming the maknae line were queerbaiting.

Like wtf?

How in the fucking hell were TKK queerbaiting?

Real genuine affection for the others? Yes.

Fanservice? Heck yeah.

Tae is the king of fanservice and teasing and flirting with the members. He loooooves it. And some play along more than others. As a matter of fact JK is one of those that plays along the least. But again, TKKs lack the brain capacity to watch original content and see that.

The hugs and affection and closeness isn't put on. It's genuine.

As for JM and JK, well they aren't fucking queerbaiting. They are just literally f***ing.

When Taenni did this, went public (and again, this was their choice of doing, walking hand in hand by the Saines river, identifiable managers walking 5 steps behind, Tae stopping to give autographs to fans),

I knew this would come back to hit us too. But you know what? I don't mind it. I love Tae and Jenni for this. They are very brave, both could pay a price for it. Tae is literally telling us all, the industry and the fans, that his personal life takes precedent. I love him for that.

We talk about BTS being the trailblazers, and this is the start of it....I hope.

[bonefall]

How are we feeling at the book finale? Because outside of the Sunbeam girlboss moment telling Berryheart just how bad of a family she was AND maybe possibly foreshadowing her rejecting Nightheart, I think we miiiight get some more Dark Forest cats than planned before :D (also I may be wrong but- didn't Podlight have children? Would he even be eligible as Medicine Cat in BB?)

Podlight's totally eligible in BB! He has no canon children and I didn't give him any. In BB there's also an interesting quirk in that Podlight is notoriously Mistystar's... not EXACTLY a good-for-nothing grandson, but a bit of a "fratboy" working through daddy issues. Is is extra funny for this cat to be a villain lmao.

Also: Better Bones RiverClan Family Tree

Anyway... my thoughts on the spoiler thread's ending. Mostly negative, unfortunately. I am really hoping that a lot of this is misrepresentation.

I've enjoyed every book of ASC that's come out so far, but if this thread is accurate, this is going to be the first one that I actively dislike. It sounds like there was a serious nosedive in quality.

ON THE ENDING; Park Cats, and The Berryheart Gathering.

Park Cats.

It is profoundly frustrating to me that we had TWO traveling books in this arc. Do they not know by now that traveling books are widely detested for a reason??

Frostpaw and Nightheart were AWAY FROM THE CONFLICT for most of this book, what the fuck?

The plot barely advanced at all. There's been one major conflict in this entire arc, the invasion of RiverClan, and we are 4/6ths of the way through without any other major battles. This is boring.

Riverstar is a major character through this bullshit, now with a magical perfect connection to Frostpaw through plot convenience so he can give her tutorial tips, because GOD FORBID we have a more grounded story for once. I'm so sick of DOTC fanservice. Was a super edition not enough?!

And speaking of Riverstar's Home, they pretty clearly ripped a lot of inspiration out of it. Frostpaw and Nightheart go on a journey with random human-related shenanigans before finding a cardboard cutout of a culture

I'm not gonna lie guys. I do not like the Park Cats. I HAVE TO SAY; It's a step in the right direction

They are not demonized. They are treated as good and legitimate. They are seen as having wisdom and living peacefully.

This is Good. This is Fine.

(im still kind of mad they needed riverstar to come save them back in riverstar's home, like every non-clan culture does apparently, but HOKAY fine ok it's fine)

.....butt.

They're boring. guys, they have one thing that is unique to them, and it's meditation. They live in perfect peace and harmony. there's nothing there.

It's easy to be a perfect, peaceful society if you have no conflict ever.

IF THE SPOILER THREAD IS ACCURATE, we don't see them address strife, how they DO handle disputes, what DOES happen when a cat engages in "criminality," or even really see what their spiritual beliefs are besides "meditating"

And that's why the idea of Frostpaw taking away a good lesson from living with them strikes me as so hollow. WHAT is she taking from them? JUST vague, quiet meditation?? Why couldn't Riverstar just magically teach her that?

It also bothers me that this culture is exactly the same as it was in Riverstar's Home. It's in stasis. Nothing has changed, nothing has grown, they haven't picked up new customs. They don't even seem to have their own history besides remembering that Riverstar showed up generations ago.

It's not a culture, it's a plot device.

I swear, I'm really trying to like them, but RH left this really sour taste in my mouth and them showing up again in this book has only made me more frustrated.

I AM happy that we're going to maybe start trying to address the violence of Clan Culture, but it is coming in the middle of a book where nothing fucking happens, and they're starting to fumble the bag on the xenophobic radicalization that I'd been praising in the past few books

And by that, I'm referring to...

Berryheart's Gathering

through the books so far, I've been praising the slow rise of tension coming from the radicalized members of ShadowClan.

I think the way that Berryheart and her little Concern Club had been slowly escalating in their bigotry and violence was (and remains) unironically fantastic.

We had started off with it just being a group to "discuss the issues," which evolved into active bullying and harassment, progressed into attempted murder, and we left off on the idea that Berryheart's Hate Group was planning something with RiverClan's murder party.

And we are reaching a turning point in that arc, the payoff of a long and well-laid escalation, with...

normal democracy.

berryheart and her supporters approach puddleshine reasonably with their concerns and intent to call for a vote to depose tigerheartstar. doing the thing the fucking code addition was made for

This comes AFTER Sunbeam has a Girlboss Moment telling off Berryheart for being a bad mom in front of the whole gathering and everyone claps, mind you, so this is clearly supposed to be the narrative's big "oooo consequences for Berryheart" moment

So anyway Berryheart brings up that they want tigerHeartstar deposed, and then Puddleshine's like "haHA THIS WAS A ROUSE"

"Actually I only told you i agree to point out how this code addition can be exploited over a disagreement with ONE issue!!!!1"

i just...

im......

would Brokenstar training babies be One Issue? Would Bramblefake being a bully to his entire clan be One Issue? Would Leopardstar allowing Tigerstar to take over RiverClan be One Issue?

One Issue....

And MIND YOU I'm Pro-tigerHeartstar, actually, but the WHOLE fucking point of the rule is that you can depose someone who is not acting in the best interest of the Clans. Fym ONE ISSUE??

IT'S A BIG ASS ISSUE!

So anyway Berryheart is embarrassed in front of everyone, tigerHeartstar tells the group, "You're going to support me or get out of my Clan"

All of her supporters fall in line, but Berryheart chooses exile.

So Berryheart and her group isn't punished for the hate crimes, it didn't lead to anyone getting actually hurt, this faction of cats just settled back down and Berryheart alone was exiled for political opposition to occupation.

not the hate crimes

GOTTA STRESS

The hate crimes did not cause lasting damage, the radicalized group did not cause any violence at this gathering

Berryheart is exiled for political opposition to occupation.

The consequence she faces for the hate crimes was simply not having her son Spireclaw back her up because she caused trouble for Fringewhisker. Like it's on the same level as being a bad in-law and not ATTEMPTED MURDER BASED ON BIGOTRY

And tigerHeartstar, jesus christ

His consistent trait has been becoming unreasonable WHEN HIS FAMILY IS THREATENED. WHY are we tossing this out the window now?

I REALLY REALLY hope that the spoiler thread is misrepresentation, and tigerHeartstar didn't ACTUALLY exile her but said something like, "this is what we're doing. don't like it, leave. you don't have the votes"

SO FOR NOW; I'm going to reserve judgement on what the writers are doing with tigerHeartstar.

This seems like the exact sort of thing that may be worded in an inaccurate way

But that said,

I'm beside myself with disappointment in this turn of events. Why is this about legitimate political proceedings? Why did they make the CULMINATION of this arc about bigoted violence and radicalization a legitimate, peaceful attempt to use the process THEY JUST ADDED, FOR THIS EXACT PURPOSE?

Anyway, then it ends on a cliffhanger

Podlight claims to be the new medcat, pointed out as just being a political maneuver, to appoint Splashtail as the new leader.

Frostpaw watches on in shock and thinks about how bad it is that a murderer is now in charge of RiverClan, and how no one would believe her if she told them all now

I sure hope the next book contains something worth reading. like a fight or something. in the battle cat series. in the arc where theyre trying to say something about violence.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC questionnaire

Thanks to @elsie-writes here, here, and here, @illarian-rambling here and here, @willtheweaver here, @ceph-the-ghost-writer here, and @mysticstarlightduck here!

I've somehow been tagged more than this somehow, but this post is so long I've decided to cut it off here.

Rules: answer the questions as an OC, then leave three new questions for the people you tag!

Past questionnaires: masterpost for round one

Tagging @mk-writes-stuff @elsie-writes @katwritesshit @rickie-the-storyteller @cherrybombfangirlwrites

+ ANYONE ELSE

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites

I have done all TSP characters I can answer for. Everyone else is not important enough for me to leave a response. SOTL doesn't have enough yet.

Under the cut: Tyler, Gwen, Liam, Noelle, Akash, Robbie, Sam, Ewan

#1- Tyler

Who is the most memorable person you've ever seen? Why are they so memorable?

“One guy I met a few years ago, Anathi. He was interesting. A little, uh, repressed due to having never really interacted with anyone for three years. Um. He was an ultimate, but like way taller than average, so also physically memorable. Haven't seen him in years though. So, anyway, did you know the human mind can never forget a face? And it also can't make up one, either. So, if you see someone you don't know in your dream, you have to have seen them on the street at some point!”

What stresses you out most?

“Stupid and lazy and incompetent people in charge. Like, who gave that idiot so much power? A bigger idiot??? So an even bigger idiot has even more power. Awesome. Fantastic. It sucks.”

What is your favorite holiday?

“Halloween. It is fun to dress up as whatever I want. And plan a decent costume with makeup. It also pisses off Medina. And Dr. Asghar. Those are always fun.”

Other Tyler: questionnaire one, two truths and a lie

#2- Gwen

What is the most important thing someone can receive?

“Love, friendship, support, compassion.... I think I will go with support. Support in all areas of your life I find important.”

What was your favorite age of your life?

“I like being twelve. But I miss being six. When my grandfather would read to me.”

How do you like your coffee (or tea)?

“Preferably, not at the same time! Haha. ... Did I tell you about that? Yeah, I accidentally made my coffee with a tea bag. It...was surprising, for sure. Awful, but I couldn't stop drinking it. May make it intentionally again. I usually just take my coffee with sweet cream.”

Other Gwen: OC in three, OC in fifteen, picrew, kiss, two truths and a lie, questionnaire one, OC interview

#3- Liam

What's your go-to beverage?

“Water. And I'm not saying that to be boring. It's just objectively the best beverage. It keeps you healthy, hydrated. Why waste money on carbonated garbage? Everyone should be drinking water. It does nothing but help you. Except people who are allergic to water, but that is an incredibly rare condition.”

What's the stupidest argument you've ever gotten into?

“There is literally no such thing as a stupid argument. However, I did get punched in the face when I lectured this one kid about how landings didn't count as steps. Of course, they do, but I thought it would be funny if I tried to convince him they did not. Apparently I pissed him off.”

How do you act when you're over-tired?

“I become more easy to distract. Overwhelmed, maybe anxiety. More reserved. I also start noticing my mistakes more. I also keep thinking I'm sick. That's much better than some. Think about it: I could be yelling and screaming at everyone. I could become an evil dictator. But I don't. I just affect me, and in the end, that's much better.”

Other Liam: questionnaire one, interview

What would you do if you found someone's wallet and ID on the floor with no one in sight?

#4- Noelle

“I would look at the ID and figure out a way to give it back to the person who lost it. Depending on where I am, I'd give it to proper authorities. At school, the front office. Police if I'm out. If all else fails, I suppose I could ask Lexi to teleport me to them.”

Can you swim?

“Of course I can. It doesn't make sense not to learn. My mom taught me when I was really young.”

If you were an animal, what would you be?

“What a stupid hypothetical question. I'm not a shapeshifter. *Sigh* Okay, fine, I'll try. Um... Owls represent intelligence so maybe that? I think I'm smart. Wolves are loyal to their family. I'd call myself that.”

Other Noelle: OC in three, OC in fifteen, Picrew, Bingo, questionnaire one

#5- Akash

What is your idea of a romantic date?

“Oh, man. Everything! Dinner and a movie. Holding hands as we walk through an art exhibit. Strolling or hiking through nature. The classic stuff! That reminds me... I need to plan something for Gwen... A bit nervous to ask her out, to be honest, but Robbie says she won't mind what we do as long as we're together. I dunno, man, first dates seem so crucial to get right.”

Can you be trusted to keep a secret?

“Yes. [Pause] I mean, I've kept my own, so I'd completely understand, and would respect your wishes. But just so you know, I hate lying. Despite doing it. But I fixed it! So yes, I can, but I'll hate every second of it. Although it will not make me feel guilty like it was when it was mine! But uh... Don't ask me to keep it from Robbie... Y'know what? Don't tell me. Sorry.”

What is one thing that makes your blood boil?

“Well, uh... I hate not getting respect. It's not like I think I'm entitled to it, but... I do still want it. People with no compassion for each other, it... It pisses me off a little. I hate seeing it.”

Other Akash: OC in three, OC in fifteen, Picrew, kiss, questionnaire one, two truths and a lie

#6- Robbie

Which weirdly specific superpower would you prefer: ability to cook eggs in any manner and have them turn out perfectly, or ability to always recommend a piece of media someone else will enjoy?

“Eggs. Gonna be honest, I almost want the second one, but I can already do that! I have excellent tastes. Although maybe that is, like, a superpower or something and it would go away when I get the eggs power. Hm. Eggs because I genuinely also want to help my mom out in the kitchen. I mean, I can already make eggs, but I get overwhelmed most of the time, so I stick to scrambled just so I know I'm doing it right. So yeah, eggs. If my media powers go away, I don't care, because I'll still love my stupid cartoons.”

Most awkward conversation you've ever had?

“Oh, God. Why. Why must you make me remember this?? Sooo I had this playhouse I went to as a kid. One of my friends there was this girl Ava. We went to that playhouse for years! And one day, she came to my seventh grade play on The Secret Garden. I was hanging with Akash and another kid in the play, Bryan. Ava comes up to us after the play to congratulate me and say hi. And then I said, 'Bryan, let me introduce you to my old friend...' and then I blanked for a solid 17 seconds on her name. It was awful. I said, 'Ava' at the same time Akash did to cover for me. It was... So bad. I tried to pass it off as me being overly dramatic with a pause and that I wanted Akash to say her name at the same time. But. I think she knew.”

How accurate do you think your zodiac sign is?

“Apparently, I'm a Taurus. And according to Google... This is literally not me at all. Like, it says I'm super sensual and grounded. [Pause] Me. Sensual and grounded! What even?!”

Other Robbie: OC in fifteen, OC in three, Picrew, two truths and a lie, questionnaire one

#7- Sam

What is your favorite drink?

“Ooh, lemonade! I love lemonade!! I always wanted to have a lemonade stand actually. I like all kinds of lemonade. Canned or homemade or whatever!! I usually have a can after dance class.”

Do you know how to dance?

“I do! I'm in a class that I go to weekly! We do ballet and tap dancing. It's so fun! I could dance all day long!”

What would make you never forgive someone?

“I'm not sure. I like moving on and pretending the bad stuff didn't happen. But I guess... If a friend did something awful to another.”

Other Sam: questionnaire one

#8- Ewan

What is your favorite small nature item? Pinecones, rocks, leaves, seashells?

“I like rocks. I have a rock collection. I think it's pretty cool.”

Do you have a go-to or favorite idiom?

“Huh. I've literally never thought of this before. I guess I like 'cross the bridge when we get there.' It's kind of a mantra for me. Worrying about the future, y'know? I don't like waiting until we get there to cross the bridge. I want to be prepared to cross the bridge. At the same time... I'm bad at preparing cause I'm not proactive. So I use the idiom to get out of the stuff I don't want to do now. I have a complicated relationship with this idiom....”

What is your favorite fruit?

“No, don't make me choose!! I guess... Cantaloupe. You probably weren't expecting that.”

Other Ewan: questionnaire one, kiss

Your questions:

What's the last thing you replaced, and why did you have to replace it?

Where's a place you've been that you felt out of place?

Do you trust your instincts?

[therealvinelle]

Why do you think fanfic writers lie in their fic tags? Like, a fic itself contains several semi-graphic depictions of het sex, and yet the tag is Gen. What is the thought process behind doing shit like this?

They're sick fucks, that's why.

To be more serious: I think few people set out to intentionally deceive their readers, and the ones that do usually want readers so badly they forget themselves. Genuine bad actors are rare, or so I choose to believe.

As it is, I suspect I'm a misleading tagger myself, at least to some.

The way I treat tags is as warnings, so I will tag ships featured in my works even if they're one-sided, background, or in the past because that way people who don't want to see that ship know to avoid my story. Edward/Carlisle and Jacob/Renesmee getting tagged in my fic Bleach on the Brain is an example of this: sucks if you clicked on the fic because you're a shipper but the way I see it, sucks worse if you don't want to see those and now you're reading a fic with father/son incest and a guy in his mid-twenties grooming a child in it. If I hadn't done this, if I'd only kept the pairings which were depicted positively, then the negative tags in that fic (grooming, sexual assault, etc) would have been assumed to be related to those and someone else would have been upset with me.

I tag this way because @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin learned the hard way (i.e.: got hate) that tagging only for endgame will get a lot of people very mad at you, but now A/B shippers have fics depicting their ship negatively. It's a losing game.

So that's bringing me to a major reason why I think misleading tags happen (which gets a headline so I can tell myself this post is structured):

People have different ideas of how works should be tagged

Some people want to tag for everything that happens in the fic. Literally everything, if it's a smut you know exactly what goes where just from reading the tags.

This also means they might tag characters who appear only briefly in a scene in chapter 35 (the fic having 56 chapters so far and being 500k+ long), because hey, the character appears. Or maybe they're brought up a lot and are very important to the fic even if there's not much actual screentime, so a character like Voldemort gets tagged in a Harry Potter fic focused on the war without him actually appearing all that much.

On the opposing side you have the minimalists. They tag the main two characters and put three more in the additional tags so it won't go in the character tag, and add a ship tag some 30 chapters in. There are two additional tags, both are very vague. If that - I've seen people who don't tag at all, or who just tag with a single character, or just the ship - it really is up to the individual.

I've noticed the type of author (whether Ao3 was their first platform, how much time they spent elsewhere, whether it's an imported fic, and how old the author is) and the type of fic (how old it is, the author's background, and genre (oneshot, drabble, multi-chapter, 5+1, etc.)) influences tagging.

Common to all authors, though, is they try to tag as they feel is appropriate for their fic.

Which brings me to the next issue:

How do I tag?

A lot of people are confused about this.

They're confused about what tags mean - what's freeform (I honestly keep forgetting what this one is supposed to be too), when something should be tagged, what belongs in relationship or character tags vs. additional tags, what additional tags are supposed to be.

Do you, for that matter, try to explain your story in the tag ("this is a roommate AU with feelings") or do you tag succinctly ("roommate AU", "feelings", "fluff") or a combination? A lot of authors seem to prefer the first and last options, from what I can tell it's become the norm. Most authors seem to use the additional tags to connect with the reader in this way, and so you get people placing more emphasis on the additional tags than the succinct tags.

How do I tag? Sensibilities section

Then there's the question of sensibilities: what's triggering to reader A may be great stuff to reader B, with the author not realising it could be triggering to anybody and should have been in the tags, or the author thought knees brushing against each other warranted big red warnings that "they literally had sex, oh god this is so dirty. so dirty!! can't believe i wrote this. ENTER AT OWN RISK" which of course is very disappointing to the sick fucks who wanted porn.

Or the opposite happens: the author knows the subject is triggering, which means people might not click on the fic, and they want attention so badly they ah weasel out. Or option three: the author can't tag without spoiling the story, and so they either put "creator chose not to use warnings", don't rate it, and let the readers enter at their own risk or they use tags uh strategically (have a look at how I tagged Nebuchadnezzar's Dream to avoid spoiling the bloody coup d'état that happens at the end. Today I simply would have gone for no warnings and no rating, but those tags are also a solution which I think is... alright, I suppose "massacre" could have been added but it was entirely off screen so to me would have been an abuse of the tag).

In other words, everyone will be tagging differently and sometimes it's because they've no clue which tag is warranted, sometimes they're trying not to spoil their story, sometimes they didn't realise they should or shouldn't have tagged for something.

Anthologies (when someone posts their oneshots as chapters of a story)

These used to frustrate me endlessly, until I saw a "how to help readers find your fic!" post explaining that with anthologies, your readers get a notification every time you post a new oneshot and it's easy to find them all!

Which, in retrospect, is the most fanfiction.net statement I've ever seen (indeed, OP was an old ffnet dog).

Ao3 allows collections, and is unique in this: to older fandom people, putting your thematically connected oneshots together as chapters of a story used to be how it was done, having 54 connected drabbles on your fanfiction.net profile where readers couldn't filter them out nor select to view only the drabbles put together made perfect sense. And then they never adapted to Ao3's features, and other users seeing these anthologies copied the action because hey, stats.

I'm still frustrated with these people and wish they would just post their oneshots individually, but I think a lot of them are just... really really keen on the numbers on their fics going up, and not thinking about the purpose of the archive, utilising its features, nor that they're making their oneshots harder to find and annoying a lot of people.

The tag difficulty with anthologies, of course, being that if you have two oneshots in it, one with characters A and B and you tag it for X and Y happening, the other oneshot is with characters C and D and you tag it for Z and W happening, and continue like this for 30 chapters, then you have a wall of tags so everyone will see your story, good on you, but your readers have no way of knowing what's happening in your story or to which characters, and they're either patient enough to click their way through every goddamn chapter or they just scroll past your thing. Either way you're cloying a looot of tags and the readers who wanted Z and W happening to A and B are pissed because they clicked their way through god knows how many chapters only to not get what they wanted (and now they don't like anthologies either).

(Disclaimer: sometimes drabbles or oneshots are so interconnected that it doesn't make sense to separate even on Ao3, so to every rule there's an exception.)

In conclusion

Most authors are making tough choices when tagging, or they don't know how to tag, or they want readers very badly (and what you as a reader can do to ameliorate this is to comment and kudos frequently! Even give positive notes in the bookmarks when you make a new one because believe me we check!).

Or they're writing an anthology, in which case you should be very skeptical about those tags.

[officialpenisenvy]

hello i'm the guy who is transgender but whose dad kept calling a guy and beating for acting gay for some strange reason and i have another confession composed of semi-interlinked stories that came up mostly because i've been off work the past week. the first is i've been hooking up with this closet case i work with and a few days ago i found out the story he's been telling his neighbour who saw me coming home with him a couple of times is that i'm his sort-of-estranged son and that's ok, except i need to hold up my end of pretending to be his son so they don't know he's fucking me, but i hate my real dad so bad that i now fantasise about killing this guy a lot and i don't know how to tell him, and i also don't think the lie is very successful because i was chatting with his neighbour yesterday and she looked at me kind of concerned and said are you and your father close? and i really don't know how to navigate this situation. secondly i've been having late night inebriated conversations with my brother because i told him to read marx and he listens to me so now he's reading marx and reporting his thoughts and a big problem that has come up is he keeps calling me dad, on accident, and he doesn't notice he's doing it unless i make a face, and if i do he starts crying because he's sort of a baby that way, but i can't tell him to cut it out because then i WILL be like my dad. thirdly my mom keeps calling me by my dad's name when she's mad at me and accusing me of avoiding her because i have an oedipus complex which is a crazy thing of her to say but let's not get into that. fourth point is my youngest cousin, the brother of the cousin i was obsessed with as a kid who molested me, is now having his own obsession era but with me, and it's a similar sort of age differential and all, and he's this gay sort of barely-started-puberty kid with no boundaries who's doing the whole "do you think i'll have a voice like yours, can i feel your stubble, wow you're so hairy, do you have a girlfriend? you're gay? what's it like?" thing, so i feel a bit sick partly because of the memories and partly because i don't like acknowledging that i'm gay, which isn't his fault also his stiff is pretty normal early pubescent derangement i think, but i feel crazy, and maybe i live in hell or soemthing all things considered. on an unrelated note you've inspired me to revisit my lz records so i've remembered i generally speaking like them but i think a lot of the magic is lost when listening to their studio albums vs live albums/bootlegs, even being that a lot of the lz official live recordings are kinda off-days for robert plant. but i'm really into whole lotta love version that's on how the west was won... i stole the album from my dad when my parents separated and i spet so much time listening to it on repeat that it now appears to be a fundamental building block of my psyche even though i'm not that into lz all things considered. i hope the rest of your day is good!!

SO much going on here. i think you need to kill your entire family and disappear in the woods with a record player (to listen to led zeppelin on). also i think you should call the guy you're fucking dad during sex and take it from there

[paleneckauthorcowboy]

This is the next fic in the timeline, c!Kestin is in a new invirment and he's not doing great. TW!! Discussion of a toxic relationship, HABIT just being HABIT, brief implication of death.

I'm alive, I don't know how or why but I am. It's been a few weeks since I woke up here in New Jersey. I was found in the middle of the woods by a kind man, his name is Evan. He brought me back to his place, which is where I am staying now. Evan said that I could stay as long as I need, at least until I can get back up on my feet.

He's a total sweetheart; I mean, he checks up on me a lot and asks me about my day. He's one of the kindest men I've ever met, not to mention that he's kind of a goofball. He seems to go out of his way to try and make me laugh. It just feels like I could talk to him for hours and never get tired of it. 

He seemed very curious about my past, rightfully so; I mean I am technically just some guy that he found passed out in the middle of the woods. Despite all of his questions about my life before, I always just gave generic answers, never daring to go into any detail, out of fear that if he knew that he'd just think I was crazy and make me leave. But, things can change so fast; whether I like it or not.

I had been feeling pretty awful almost all day, not due to anything Evan had done. I just couldn't get out of my own head and just kept thinking about the past. I could get HIM out of my mind, the him in question being Alex. My now Ex-fiance, it hurt a lot to look back on his actions with my rose colored glasses removed, I could see every little thing I missed. Did he truly love me or was what he did just a clever ploy to stop further infection of the operator sickness? Would he have actually killed me if I hadn't done it myself? 

I'm fairly certain that anyone within a 12 mile radius could tell that I was upset, especially Evan or at least who I thought was Evan. He playfully nudged me, trying to get me to look at him or look at something that he was doing. "Evan... please I'm really tired, so could you please stop it." I spoke in a slightly serious tone, as much as I love his antics; I just don't have the energy for it right now. 

I feel his fingers on my cheeks and his palm under my chin, I tense very noticeably at the sudden touch but do nothing. I then feel him abruptly squeeze my face and yank it towards him, essentially forcing me to look at him. "I'm not Evan... also, don't you think it's a bit rude to lie, sweetheart?"  He asked what felt like a condescending tone, or like he was trying to scare me. Unfortunately, panic responded before I could think. I pushed him off of me with a rough shove. He fell off of the couch with a loud thud.

I felt instant regret as my mind raced, "Oh my gosh... I'm so- I didn't- sorry I just- I'm sorry.." I couldn't seem to string together a fully comprehensive sentence, my own distress causing anything I say to come out faster than my brain could process. I was trying to reach out for him, but I only got about half way until I pulled back; planting my hands into my lap, as if to stop myself from causing any additional damage. 

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that... I just- didn't think before I acted." I did my best to explain, I felt my hands shaking, but I wasn't scared of him hurting me, I could handle that. What I'm really scared of is him hating me or even just simply being mad at me. "I'm sorry.." I apologized again, my throat burned as I swallowed hard; doing everything in my power to not let the hot tears pricking at the corners of my eyes fall. "Woah, come on don't get you boxers in a bunch. It's fine, I'm not mad." He broke the awkward silence, trying to lighten the mood.

"Okay, I'm sorr-'' before I could finish my sentence he put his finger up to my mouth and shushed me. "Hun, you apologize way too much." He smirked at me, although his tone sounded a little bit annoyed. When he called me hun, it almost made my heart skip a beat, but at the same time it... hurt. "Please don't call me 'hun', I only really let people I'm close to call me pet names." I very gently pushed his hand away, looking him in the eyes with a semi serious look. 'His eyes are really pretty.' I thought to myself. 

Then I internally panicked at 'no no fuck why?' Do I like him? I think I do but I'm not sure. I looked away from him, focusing my gaze on the floor. "Well, then we need to get to know each other and get close. I'm Habit, I'm the demon who possesses your little boyfriend, and you don't need to introduce yourself, I already know who you are." He replied still with that smirk on his face, he leaned in close to me. I instinctively lean back and put my hands up, ready to push him back again.

"What- he not my boyfriend! We're not- I mean that's not to say I don't like him- like he's cute- I mean... uhh I don't know, I just know we're not dating!" I felt my stomach tighten, words once again fell out of my mouth before I really thought about what I was saying. "What I'm hearing is that you like him. Why not just go for it?" Habit asked, leaning in closer. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back, just hard enough for him to get that I was uncomfortable.

"Because- I don't know I'm just... not ready to enter another relationship." I didn't even realize what I said until I heard Habit chuckle. "Another relationship? What? did you just have a bad breakup?" He seemed just be joking around but it was enough to push me over the edge. The dam broke and I felt warm tears stain my cheeks. He stopped laughing, just staring at me with a look that said 'oh shit, I didn't mean to do that.' 

"Oh, I'll take that as a yes. Uh, sorry. Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, awkwardly patting my shoulder. I just broke, I couldn't hide how I felt, or the things that I went through anymore. "I just got out of a pretty unhealthy relationship just before Evan found me.. it wasn't always bad. It was just the time around the end of the relationship that was... not great." I spoke crossing my arms over my chest, Habit looked at me, waiting for me to continue. 

"He... my Ex-fiance... was kind of extremely manipulative and ended up isolating me from any other support system other than him... and then he kind of walked away for a bit, leaving me completely isolated. He also kind of was insane..." I explained Habit didn't look happy, understandably so. "So, he cut you off from everyone you loved and just left you alone? He sounds like a real piece of shit." He said through gritted teeth. I just looked down. "Yeah, I guess. He wasn't alway like that though, he used to be kind of sweet." I mumbled to myself, Habit shook his head. 

"The reason I can't just 'go for it' is because I know that I'm not over my ex, it wouldn't be right to start a new relationship when I'm still thinking of someone else. I'd only possibly hurt him and myself in the process." I explained further, Habit nodded. "That's understandable." He shrugs and stands up before plopping back down on the couch. "I... I do like him. I just need time to process what I feel and what I've gone through before I try to do anything." I got up and sat on the couch as well. Calming myself down.

 "I understand that and so does he. We are more than willing to wait for you for as long is needed. I promise you." He put a hand on my shoulder and I tensed up, he noticed almost immediately and tried to retract his hand. I grabbed it and gave it a nice squeeze. "Thank you, I don't think you understand how much that means to me." He squeezed my hand back, "my pleasure." We just sat there holding each other's hand for a little while.

They kept true to their promise and stayed right by my side for my entire journey of healing. And, when I was finally ready. I asked both Evan and Habit out, but that's a story for another day. For now I'll just enjoy my own version of happily ever after.

[wonder-queen-123]

? x Sick Hanahaki Reader

You lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to take your mind off of him. You wondered why it had to be him of all people. Why'd your heart have to fall for him?

Ever since a kid, he's been the only thing you could think about. Of course he'd never like you back, you were just a waste of space...or at least that's what he and your family constantly told you.

"'Hey guys, how's it going? What are you guys talking about? Oh, you're talking about them? Yeah, I agree. They really are just a waste of space.'"

You couldn't stop thinking about that, and as soon as that thought resurfaced, your chest felt like it was on fire. You quickly got off the bed, and immediately ran to the bathroom. You coughed violently, trying to get the flowers out, knowing full well that you didn't have much time left.

You flush the toilet, and sat against your bathroom wall. Faintly, You heard someone knocking on your bedroom door. You didn't want to see anyone, nevertheless talk to anyone, but you knew that they'd just keep knocking if you didn't open the door.

You slowly and shakily got up from the floor, and washed away the blood from your mouth, and walked into your room. You made your way over to the door, and opened it.

You took one look at who it was, and asked why they were here. "I just wanted to check on you. I noticed...can-can I come in? I want to talk to you."

You wordlessly let them in, and gestured to your bed for them to sit down. You sat beside them, and waited for them to say something.

"Where have you been the last few weeks? You barely show up to class anymore, and you've also been skipping training. Mr. Aizawa and the rest of us are extremely worried about you. Please talk to me. I want to help."

You looked away, not knowing what to say. "Please, (Name). Please talk to me, I want to help you. I really do." You turned to look at them.

No one ever called you by  your real name when talking to you. They'd usually use the nickname they gave you, but when they did you knew that they were worried.

You cupped their face with your hand, and wiped the tears away with your thumbs. "Don't cry, love. It's okay. I'm fine. I'm sorry for worrying you and the others, but trust me, I'm fine." You said, looking at them.

They smiled slightly at hearing the name you called everyone. "Are you sure? You don't seem fine to me. And, there's something I've noticed as of late. I know that it's not my place to say, but I noticed that you haven't been eating lately. You would usually sit with me and the rest of our friends at lunch, and even make jokes about you-know-who. But, you haven't been at lunch with us for about two and a half weeks. Probably longer than that."

You knew they were right, but you couldn't just say 'the reason why I haven't been showing up to class, training, or even lunch is because I'm sick. I've got hanahaki, and I'm actually dying. I'll be gone within the next week and a half, to two weeks most likely.'

What were you supposed to do or even say? You knew that it would break their heart if they found out you were sick, nevertheless dying, and you didn't want them to be sad. You hated seeing your friends and family upset.

You felt another cough forming in your throat, and quickly ran to the bathroom once again. You didn't have any time to tell your friend to plug their ears because you were in the middle of throwing up at least 3x as many flowers, branches, and blood.

As soon as you realized just how much you had thrown up, you knew that you were already on the brink of death. You were practically already gone.

Just as your thoughts started to cloud and fog your mind, you didn't hear the knocking, which slowly turned into banging on the bathroom door.

"(Name)! Unlock the door! What's happening? Please, open the door! (Name)! Please!"

You have lost so much blood over the past few weeks, that you could barely even stand. You were fading in and out of consciousness, and barely heard your name being called.

The last thing you saw before falling unconscious was the bathroom door being flung open, and your friend running over to you.

They immediately picked you up, and held you against their chest. With what strength you had left, you wrapped your arms around them, and started to say 'i love you'.

You only managed to say 'I lo-' before taking your last breath. Once you and your friend were back in your room, they set you down on your bed, and had just now realized that there was a note on your nightstand.

'To whoever may be reading this, I'm sorry that I didn't spend my last few weeks with any of you. I didn't want anyone to know that I was sick. That's why I haven't been showing up to class, training, and lunch. I've had hanahaki for a while, but I don't want anyone to blame themselves. It wasn't anyone's fault but mine. I'm the idiot who fell in love with someone who always called me a waste of space. Yes, Katsuki Bakugou in other words. Katsu, if you're the one reading this, then I want you to know that I've had a crush on you ever since we were kids. Even if I am, or was a waste of space, at least I'm not anymore. Dad, thank you for not telling anyone about this. I love you all so very much, and I know that all you my loves, will become amazing heroes. (Name) Aizawa.'

Kirishima cried his eyes out when he got done reading the note. But, Aizawa had known? Since when? How long has Aizawa known about this? Did he know if there was a way to cure you, and you just refused?

As Kirishima was lost in thought, he didn't realize that Aizawa, along with the rest of 1A was standing right behind him, crying.

Once he turned around and noticed, he immediately noticed Bakugou looking at him, and rage immediately flooded over Kirishima.

He walked past everyone, and immediately punched Bakugou in the face as hard as he could. "Bakubro!" He growled, venom laced in his voice.

"You did what?! How could you?! How could you say that to them, or even about them?! Because of what you and their family constantly told them, look at what ended up happening! (Turns to Aizawa) And you, Mr. Aizawa, you're just as bad as Bakugou here! How could you call your own kid a fucking waste of space?! If you didn't want them, then why didn't you put them up for adoption?! Telling (Name) that they're a waste of fucking space?! How incredibly monstrous can two people fucking be?!"

Everyone just stared wordlessly at Kirishima, not knowing what to do. No one had ever seen Kirishima this mad before, so they were all taken aback.

Without knowing what else to do, Sero had activated his quirk, and had bound Kirishima's hands together to keep him from lashing out at anyone else.

[saintmouthed]

dtcfdp chapter 3 (author commentary)

I fear it is time to Reread dtcfdp Again and I'm going to be so annoying about it, actually. Anyway I'm gonna basically reread my own fic and liveblog the experience. Chapter 3 commentary starts under the cut!

chapter 1 commentary here

chapter 2 commentary here

"It wasn’t until he got out of the shower that he realized somehow he’d made it home with Ange’s jacket."

Right off the bat this made me smile so big. Yes... his jacket... I had NO motivation to have R take Enjolras's jacket... none at all

Hey, sweetheart, how are you feeling today? Ange.

oh my OWN heart jumped at sweetheart this time around.

That sounds like something someone just trying to make me feel better would say. R. I wouldn’t lie to you, I’m being honest. But, is it working? Ange. Grantaire thinks about this. A little. R.

they make me SICK (in the best way)

“What, you think I don’t have a key to this place?” That’s not something that had ever occurred to Grantaire. “Oh.” He says, after a thoughtful moment. Éponine laughs at him. “Bossuet let me in before he went to class, dipshit.”

LMAO this is so fucking funny I completely forgot about this. I don't reread this chapter often so this is like experiencing a whole new fic. Though I don't remember why I don't reread this chapter often? Is it the trivia one? that might be why. More on that later if it is the trivia one.

“Well��” Joly, at least, looks a little abashed. “It might have been…Enjolras?” “Enjolras?” Éponine gasps, before bursting into laughter. “Are you fucking kidding?” God, Grantaire is completely lost. “You know this guy?” “Yeah.” She waves a dismissive hand, as if he has any idea what she’s talking about. “We’ve met, obviously, and I went to a few meetings. Joly, are you serious?”

HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS ADFASDFJ... "are you fucking kidding" it was so funny having everyone be like 'oh yeah grantaire you'd HATE enjolras' meanwhile grantaire is already sickening in love with him

OH MY GOD IT'S THE ROPE BITE NIGHT CHAPTER...

if you haven't read the Enjolras ficlet I wrote for this one or the Jehan ficlet... you should

aw... Grantaire learning to tie a futomomo... me too buddy

Ange rolls his eyes. “I trust you haven’t traumatized one of our newest members yet, Jehan?” “I leave frightening the newbies to you, my dear, that’s usually your area of expertise.” Grantaire wonders which one of them picked up the casual pet names first.

I'm OBSESSED WITH THEM

wow props to past me for writing that rope demo so beautifully damn

oh god... it IS the trivia one

I've seen the rope twist one before IRL it IS mean

CHEERS I DO LOVE A ZIPPER THOUGH

“How would you drop a raw egg from a height onto a concrete floor without cracking it?” Ange asks, blithely ignoring R’s commentary. “You…can’t?” “It takes more than an egg to crack a concrete floor, darling.”

an anon sent me this one back in the day!!! I love this... and I loved reading about the first zipper getting ripped off tbh.

the thing I don't like about the trivia chapter is that it's another of those threads I never followed through bc there was simply SO MUCH going on in this fic. And the Gutenberg question makes me cringe, but that's another story LMAO.

THE ROPE AS A FLOGGER WHO CHEERED. I saw this in a video once and it made me feel insane.

Grantaire either A. shrieks or B. blacks out (though there is that last possibility C. which is both)

Real as fuck grantaire

WAIT FUCK IS THIS THE PHONE NUMBER everybody hang on

FUCK

IT IS

freddyfromnicarlycheering.gif

“It’s…” Ange hesitates on the last character, felt tip of the pen stilling on Grantaire’s skin for a brief moment before he follows through. “My phone number.”

OH MY GOD

“I mean, it’s—it’s still nothing. I mean, not nothing, it’s definitely, uh, something.”

sure is !!!

this chapter was good actually idk why I tend to skip it

[crimsonblackrose]

.

Poor Miggy looking for Sam.

And of course they're fighting. Sam, just listen to Tory would you. (I know she's having a rough time.)

Both Miguel and Robby need like body armor for the Tory Sam fights.

I also think it's funny that they keep doing this and it literally never works.

Sam yelling that Tory's been working with Kreese. Like a lot of conversation was listened to before Sam went on offense.

Oh hey at least both girls left without any damage, and neither Robby or Miggy got hurt, so actually progress.

I also like the way they meet up after both girls leave and are like wait did you know about this? No, no idea.

UGH it's literally been maybe 4 weeks max since Carmen is considered pregnant, the baby would not be that big. It for sure wouldn't have features.

Johnny wouldn't know that, but Carmen for sure would.

Carmen's doctor is Dr. Howard.

Johnny remembers where they parked, "Punch twice, p2"

Carmen says "Lawrence-Diaz" and Johnny likes it and cue Silver.

Silver got in on 3, quite possibly another hint of him being sick/dying or something.

"To congratulate you. What you and your partner have accomplished is a joy few get to experience." Johnny: Who told you about the baby.

Silver says he's doing everything for their future and his own, and tells Johnny to savor every moment before it's gone.

Which sounds like a threat, but I mean if he's dying it could be like Tommy's note.

Daniel wants to go to the portugese place on Laurel.

Louie wants to plan it and use it as an away to apologize for blowing up his car.

Reggie can hook Louie up with a free limo.

Johnny says there has to be dancing because Carmen loves dancing.

Louie told them to dress nice and he'll pick them up at 8, they don't all live together bud.

Anoush has a date.

Demetri to Hawk: Never let me miss a house party again.

Bert says he's friends with Stingray and stingray wouldn't lie to him.

Robby walking into Cobra Kai to apologize, Robby is so freaking brave. "I let you down. I turned my back on you. I didn't understand at the time but I realize now I was wrong. I shouldn't have just left.

Like he knows Silver kicked his sensei's ass, beat the tar out of Daniel. He knows Kreese was in prison, that his guy beat Stingray into a coma and was like yeah, I'm going to waltz in and tell his students I'm sorry for leaving them behind here.

Robby is a badass.

There is pain in this dojo because it's built upon fear, because this man is not your sensei, he is your enemy.

Tory shouldn't have nodded, Kim saw it.

Reggie's ride or die.

And this is Reggie:

Chozen has to remove all his weapons, he keeps sai's in his jacket pockets. But he'll at least get to pick them up again when he leaves.

Johnny looks around to see what he should order, sees a white claw, tries it, spits it out, says "It tastes like watermelon took a piss." and then shrugs and takes another sip

The LaRussos order a ketel martini, straight up, Macallan 18 neat and Chozen says no drink. He wants to stay ready in case Silver attacks.

Chozen orders a long island iced tea

Louie omg

Louie shows up with a tray full of shots "Oh, i've got shots kids" and gives this look to Johnny

when he says this stuff is strong, almost like a kick to the face.

They all cheer in Okinawan Karii

Stingray is hosting dungeons and dojo's games where he's the DM

he's the worst dojo master. Apparently, all of the party or at least most of the party died.

Everyone is gluten intolerant so he's not sure whose at the door.

His whole D&D group leaves past Bert.

Miyagi-fangs, oh this is a trap, you admiral ackbar-ed me.

Carmen points out that if Chozen was using fake weights wasn't he scamming himself out of money and not the villagers?

I like Daniel using Chozen's words against him. "No, I will get" in a very jokingly angry voice. Mimicking Chozen.

Amanda: That dance floor is calling my name. Carmen: Mine too. Amanda: Come and get it girl.

Carmen asks if Johnny is coming to dance with her but he looks at Chozen drinking his long island alone and tells her he'll catch the next one.

Dude truly knows what it's like to be alone, and probably to be an extra wheel with couples and doesn't want Chozen left fully alone.

Chozen asks Johnny how he's doing. Johnny: Honestly? I'm not sure.

Johnny says his whole life has been haunted by one stupid kick.

dodge it, block it, his life would be fixed. The kick wasn't the problem he had to stop focusing on what was behind and start looking at what was right in front of him.

Chozen says We are same. Both make mistakes. Both feel guilt for pain we caused. Now you have, uh, friends. family, children. I always wanted same things.

Ugh the thing that Terry started with Daniel but now stone. Someone please save her.

"it's solid stone, I will break my hand" "it will heal in time for the tournament"- Kim

Tory tries to leave, "I'm going home." and three of Kim's hench- sensei's literally block her path.

"I broke up with him because of this dojo you bitch." literally breaks the stone behind Kim. You go girl, but also owie.

"That must've been a hard decision."

They literally all leave Tory there curled up on the mat bleeding.

in another universe this was Stingrays D&D group

If I tell you what really happened he'll find out. I can't. It's not that easy you guys.

And then he realizes he can just tell a story instead. "I've been working on this new D&D campaign" and Miguel is like okay we don't have time, but Eli gets what Stingray is up to.

Stingray is a dwarven monk

and he pretty much says he'd give up everything he got if he could, after all the silver haired king nearly killed the monk. And his voice trembles when he says it and Bert I think catches how bad it really was.

Stingray wanted to be a proud and nobel warrior like Sam and Hawk but he's neither proud nor noble and not a warrior either. He's just really scared. He apologizes.

Sam leaves upset that she didn't get the info she needed. She's frustrated because if she had know, then the dojo wouldn't have had to close, maybe her and Miguel wouldn't have broken up. Just a lot of painful what if's.

Miggy pointing out that Tory telling them what happened must've been so hard. Sam doesn't know what it's like to be a part of Cobra Kai, but Miggy does.

Chozen's a good dude man. | Ah, that's putting it mildly.

Johnny tells Daniel that Chozen likes Kumiko and before he can continue Carmen pops up, says "No more talk, you're mine" and drags him towards the dance floor. "Gotta go." is all Johnny says clapping Daniel's arm on his way.

"I'm pretty sure they don't keep giant slabs of ice on hand Chozen."

"What kind of bar is this?"

as children chozen and kumiko played together in the ruins of king shō hashi castle. Chozen would hide and Kumiko would always find him. After Chozen's disgrace, he tried to hide from everything and Kumiko found him again, her kindness brought him back. She doesn't know how he feels. How he treated her, what he did to her. Unforgivable

Louie sees anoush, see's he's with Vanessa, Anoush tries to calm him down, Louie punches him in the face, Vanessa slaps him. Louie: You can do better than him, you're embarrassing the family. Anoush ducks down and charges at Louie.

Louie: Get your boyfriend off of me. Vanessa: I'm trying.

Daniel: Classic Louie. Limo, drinks, and some trouble.

Chozen: I'm glad I came here, but I made one big mistake, I should've taken you with me. (panic) okay bye.

Carmen and Amanda are going to take an uber home. Chozen has already dived into the limo yelling party time.

As a sketchy uber driver Johnny tells them to make sure it's an uber black.

Sam seeing injured Tory and then saying if you're having trouble with cobra kai i'd be willing to listen, tory lets her in.

Sam finally sees everything pretty much everyone has been telling her.

Her mom is now in a hospital bed. Previously she was in a bed with some machines but it was still a bedroom, now it looks empty of everything but the hospital bed.

The interior layout is different from before. I think this is the same interior layout as Johnny and Miggy's place

Kim wants Devon Lee to be the new champion.

I remembered being so tense the first time I watched this. With Silver saying he was going to take care of it, our party splitting into three. Amanda and Carmen on their own, Anoush and Louie finding out Reggie's not driving, the guys plastered but singing eye of the tiger. (Maybe they should do a rock karaoke night)

Daniel and Johnny realizing they're not there yet.

Lol i forgot they end the episode on Johnny, Chozen and Daniel realizing they're trapped in the back of the limo and don't know whose driving, can't get out and it's just careening so they keep slamming from side to side.

[thedysphoriadiaries]

Entry 23 - 8 March 2023, 4:36pm

I'm not going to lie, I think I've run out of things to say. After all, one can only talk about certain things for so long until it becomes stale, or until you become sick of talking about it.

I finally shaved my own legs today, and, well, I expected it to fill me with some measure of euphoria, but it doesn't. Not today.

The thought of conscription scares me. I don't know why, even though some part of it has to do with how I'm just an outsider.

If there's anything I've begun to realize, it's realizing how lonely this road is: I can't connect well with the people of the same sex/gender as me. I don't feel like this body is something to be celebrated. I don't want to be treated as my assigned gender at birth.

Who, outside of those who are like me, and those on the extreme ends of the social scale (consider incels, who hate women because said women don't give them a chance in dating), could ever come close to understanding how it is to live like this? I wish I could tell a close friend of mine (who's been with me for about seven years), that I don't like being called "bro", but... that's just the way he is. I wish I could just not feel envious of women and their ways of life, but that's just what this brain does.

Yet, even accepting that I am a guy just... doesn't seem like it would bring closure to this entire story of mine. It is a form of closure, and yes, I could be a feminine guy, but, it would be a case of me approaching what I would like to be, but never getting there - like a limit function in mathematics.

It's like how wearing a dress, or putting on make-up doesn't make one a woman any more than how liking cars and the entire DIY culture doesn't make one a man.

Reducing an identity down to an interest is a matter of oversimplification. My ex-partner loved to build model kits and talk about cars. Heck, she even has a racing simulator rig in her bedroom. That does not make her any less of a woman, the same way my dislike of typically masculine behaviours makes me any less of a man - something I don't want to be.

And fundamentally, this entire schism between who I want to be and what I can do now to be closer to who I want to be, is the reason why I refuse to partake in things that would have given me some sense of euphoria. These actions are, to me, badges that scream "I am a woman", on the uniform of a male person. A person who will remain male for as long as they don't accept that they can be anything but.

I know, or at least, am more readily able to accept that I am not going to be a woman, and even if being one does give me some measure of euphoria, trying to be one doesn't, for I am not ready to truly see myself as not a male, but as someone who has been gifted with a programming error at birth. In fact, that would be the explanation I would have accepted, if not for the euphoria I felt when presenting as female in the privacy of my own room, and the dysphoria of being called a... 'bro'.

Oh, the depths of this river of self-hatred.

...

I've noticed that I have become more confrontational as of late.

Over the past few days, I noticed that I've been speaking up more about people assuming others' genders, even though those times when I spoke up were uncalled for, socially.

I've also started snapping at people for referencing male things. After all, when my mother brought up how she could see the man inside after I rose to defend her from my dad (whom I perceived as a threat at the time), I've started to view things she said as a way for me to... connect with the man inside, even though I don't want to be one. It's why I kind of snapped at her for singing some song, and saying that it was a song that a man sung.

It's these moments which make me wish I was never alive. Just kill me already.

...

Yet, even after all this, I do not know if I want to help myself: after all, if society is good at one thing, it is telling you this:

If you're not normal, you're wrong. A tumor to be excised from the body that civilization is.

...

And... I just don't know what's wrong with me.

Was it past trauma?

Am I actually trans?

Is it social contagion, like how there were reports of people self-diagnosing with Tourette's after a tiktok trend came about?

Is it something else that slipped the watchful gaze of the team of medical professionals as they diagnosed me as a premature baby on the brink of death?

Or, am I just refusing to accept that I have the option to not let life choose its path for me?

...

What's wrong with me?

[lgbtlunaverse]

Okay, see, no one on here follows me for kpop, so you probably don't understand what's going on

Do you guys know what the "lunaverse" in my username stands for? It's a play on loonaverse. The fictional universe kpop girlgroup loona have set up through their mvs through the years.

I've been a fan of this group since 2017. For over 5 years now. After 2 years of predebut solos and unit projects, I watched their full group debut mv freezing on top of a mountain, begging the people i was climbing with for a few more minutes until we descended so i could watch the music video in its full length because i couldn't hear to wait until we were down again.

Over half a year ago, one of their 12 members sued the company to have more control over her own schedule. Later it turns out they'd overbooked her so much she couldn't join her own band on their first tour. In september, when I saw them live in Amsterdam, the remaining 11 members had been so overworked by a rushed and poorly planned tour that only 8 of them were able to come on stage at all. One of them was so overwhelmed and tired that she left during audience talks and walked off stage the moment a song ended. Another had injured her knee during the tour and had to sit to the side the whole concert.

In the middle of all this they release a japanese single. Chuu, the member who had to film ads while the rest of her group toured because of her label's horible planning, wasn't on it. They overworked her so much she couldn't even record a song with her own group.

Cut to today, and that member this company worked to the bones, to the point she wasn't able to participate in her own music group's actual music, has been kicked out. They say she was "abusive to staff." Everyone that's ever worked with her has come out to say that that's a bold-faced lie. Other members have revealed that in their 4 years of being in this group they have not actually received a single paycheck. In their announcement of kicking out a girl because she dared to object to their treatment of her, the company chooses to word that as "the LOONA members have never worked solely for profit or personal gain."

Fuck. This. Company.

I can't even be SAD that a group that meant so much to me is now incomplete because I am just too angry to feel anything else. Some of these girls have been under this label since they were just thirteen years old. Heejin has been putting her entire being into working ofr loona since 2016 and this is what she gets back for it? There are horror stories of the girls in their trainee days being weighed monthly and being so desperate they tried to break the scale before the routine weighing. (One of them did, she stomped on it til it broke. Management just bought a new one) stories of them at high school age having to smuggle in fruit in their backpacks because the company had them on a starvation diet.

I'm not sad Chuu is gone. I'm sad the other members are still there. I've been watching this horror story unfold for the past few years feeling more and more helpless as horrible details came out. How can you buy albums for a group whose music you love when you know the money so going to people that mistreat them? I was sitting in the line for that concert, hearing the annoucnement that yet another member was too sick to participate, and thinking that if they canceled the tour for the girls' health then and there I wouldn't even be mad, just relieved.

I don't know how to end this. There is no end. I hate this company, I hate what they've done to these people i genuinely care about, I hate that the industry is like this and they're going to get away with it. I hate that the other 11 girls are still trapped in their contracts for 3 more years. I hate that that concert with those 8 exhausted girls is likely the last time i'll see them and i'll never get go see all 12 of them together. I hate that I spent 5 years of my life loving loona with every fibre of my being and the people responsible for them never did the same.

AND FUCK BLOCKBERRY CREATIVE

[hannahhasnofriends]

happier | dream

––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

summary: based off the song happier by olivia rodrigo!

pairing: dream x reader

warnings: angst, break ups, this is just fucking sad lmao, real names are used (srry not srry)

word count: 1.2k

a/n: i love olivia rodrigos new album i literally have not listened to anything else since it came out omfg😎 also i think i like this fic?? idk gimme some thoughts n feedback :)

We broke up a month ago Your friends are mine, you know I know You've moved on, found someone new One more girl who brings out the better in you And I thought my heart was detached From all the sunlight of our past But she's so sweet, she's so pretty Does she mean you forgot about me?

"Hey guys! I've missed you all so much." I hug Sapnap tightly and move on to the next person I was greeting.

A "reunion" we were calling it, it'd been a year since the SMP ended and everyone wanted to get into touch again. It was bittersweet seeing everyone , it seemed like we'd grown up so much since then. Hell, I know I have.

"Hey darling, " I turn and see Niki, I missed her so much. We were the first female streamers on the SMP, she'd been my best friend. "How are you?"

"I'm good, really." I could see the sympathy in her eyes. I pretended not to notice when everyone did a double take when I walked into the room, they really thought I wasn't going to come today.

"That's good, I've missed you." She had a tight smile on her face. "You know he's coming today, right?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, I knew someone was going to ask. It was fine, I had prepared myself for the questions and stares. It'd been 6 months, half a year, 6 damn full moons since we'd ended. We share the same friends, it was hard knowing they were going to pick sides, we both knew it wasn't going to be mine.

"Clay? Yeah, I know. Don't worry, we've both moved on. We're adults and I don't need to hide from him. We're friends!" I was lying through my fucking teeth. I saw his instagram posts, the subtweets, and everything else that had her named burned into it.

"Ok, I just wanted to check in. I know we all took the erm- break-up pretty hard." Her eyes avoided mine but I know she truly meant well by everything she was saying. "Anyway, I'm going to say hi to a few others. I really want us to talk more, ok?"

She squeezed my arm as she was walking off, I nodded my head even though I probably wouldn't be able to bring myself to message her after this.

I took a deep breath and eyed my other company. I was sticking out like a sore thumb, everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves. Honestly, it'd probably be best to make a cowardly dash before he showed up.

Just as I'd made up my mind, I saw it. The main doors opened and there they were. Well. Too damn late for that.

He was as tall and gorgeous as he was 6 months ago and she was stunningly perched on his arm. The worst part wasn't how goddamn good they looked, it was how you could just tell they were right. You could simply glance in their direction and tell she was nice and kind and he was completely devoted to her.

Oh, I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Just like that, all the air in the room had been sucked out. I was doomed.

As he made his way around the room, his eyes finally found mine. His smile faltered and I could tell he was taken aback. I averted my eyes quickly, this was so stupid.

“Y/n! Hi!” I jumped as I heard his voice, sneaky little bastard. I forced my best smile on my face as I turned to face them. She was standing next to him, still arm in arm but she stayed silent.

“Hey! How’s it going.” I pressed my lips together, he seemed so… ok? His eyes no longer had those dark circles and the cuts on his knuckles look healed.

“I’m good! How about you?” He tilts his head, curious.

“I’m doing good, too. Pretty busy, but you know.” I nodded along to what I said, it wasn’t a complete lie.

Abruptly, she clears her throat and side eyes Clay, obviously wanting something. “Oh, right! This is Grace.”

“Hi, I’ve heard great things about you.” She smiles so warmly, she seems so great. I could feel the jealously sinking into my skin, it was suffocating.

“Hello, it’s really nice to meet you.” This time I really was lying. But I couldn’t tell her the truth. How I couldn’t let her boyfriend go.

And do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? An eternal love bullshit you know you'll never mean Remember when I believed You meant it when you said it first to me? And now I'm pickin' her apart Like cuttin' her down will make you miss my wretched heart But she's beautiful, she looks kind She probably gives you butterflies

She kept up the small talk with me. I learned she was an artist and slightly older than him. She taught art to kids on the weekends and her parents were still married. She even volunteered to help me move.

I noticed the rings she wore and thought about whether he gave them to her. If he gave her the same gifts he gave me. Maybe she knew too. Maybe she knew he took her to the same places we went. Did the same things, laughed at the same jokes. I hope she did.

But the conversation continued, and I kept searching for a flaw. Something to make him realize she wasn’t meant for him. Something I could point out and have my aha moment.

But she was perfect. And I had nothing that would make him pick me instead of her.

I wish you all the best, really Say you love her, baby Just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on her I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

The music picked up again and they excused themselves to the dance floor. It was a sappy, corny love song. It fit them perfectly. I could see him whisper in her ear and rock her back forth to the beat. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

As they swayed, I was hoping he was thinking of me. I hoped he would drop her right then and there and grab my hand and lead me out of this mess. I hoped he would lock eyes with me and pretend none of this happened. I hoped they weren't as happy as they looked.

I hope you're happy Just not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

As I watched them, I swear every memory we shared came fleeting into my mind. Every smile, every laugh, every fight, everything. The way he’d let me wear his sunglasses in the car and the time we danced in the rain and we’re sick for days after.

As I watched them I wondered wether they were truly happy together. If he was in love, if he loved her more than he loved me. If he ever thought of me when he was with her.

I wonder if he watched me as I left.

[midgardianweasley]

Movie Night

Movie night

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: It’s friday night, or more commonly known as movie night for the Avengers. A horror movie was put on and Y/N isn’t feeling so brave, luckily she’s got a Romanoff nearby.

Warnings: coulrophobia (fear of clowns), mentions of the IT movie and pennywise.

Word Count: 2.5k

Идиоты. - ‘Idiots.’

Requests are open!

“I vote action movie”

“We watched an Action movie last week, Sam.” Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, briefly looking up and meeting my eyes, earning a small smile in return, attempting to provide some sanity for the man.

“Plus, do you not think we’ve had enough action for one week?” Bucky grumbled, this week having taken a toll on everyone. We were all exhausted from our missions, some more than others, the soldier being one of them.

“Okay okay, no action, damn” Sam put his hands up in defeat, accepting that he wasn’t going to win this one. A few more options had been suggested, Bruce suggested rom-com, Thor suggested comedy, Vision proposed a documentary, all of which were shut down with groans and sounds of protest.

I turned to my assassin girlfriend who had been sitting beside me watching the scene unfold with an amused smirk on her face, her green eyes darting around the room whenever someone else spoke and taking sips of the drink she had in her hand. I nudged her slightly to get her attention

“Hey.”

“Hi”

“If it was up to you, what would you choose for movie night?” I asked. She morphed her face into a thoughtful one, still with a slight smile on her face, taking time to make her decision.

“If it was completely up to me? I would-”

“Aha!” Tony interrupted with a loud snap of his fingers. “I know, we haven’t watched a horror movie in a while, and the new IT movie just came out, we can watch that” He smirked, proud of his contribution to the discussion at hand. I looked around the room, praying that they would pick anything else, literally anything, even Vision’s documentary.

Unfortunately, everyone seemed to be really into it as they all shared nod’s and “yeah” “sounds good” before splitting up to go and get their snacks and blankets to bring back to the large sofa.

Although I wouldn't admit it to the rest of the group, I was absolutely terrified of clowns and have been since I was a child. If there was a clown at a birthday party or an event, I’d pretend I was sick so that my mum wouldn’t make me go. She soon noticed a pattern in my behaviour, putting the pieces together and realising that I hadn't come down with the flu three times that month, I was avoiding the ‘entertainment’ of the parties.

She tried explaining that it was just a guy in makeup and a funny suit, showing off fun tricks and jokes. However, 9 year old me still refused to attend, faking a sneeze and hiding under the blanket.

“Woah, Y/L/N, you good over there?” Tony furrowed his brows, concern written all over his face. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I wish it was a ghost.

I regained my composure, nodding and sending a firm smile his way, hoping that would be enough to prevent any further questioning. With a shrug, he made his way out of the room and caught up with Thor to explain what ‘IT’ was.

“You don’t look so good, sure you’re okay?” Nat placed her hand on my back, rubbing small, reassuring circles with her palm. I wanted to put on a brave face and tell her I was fine, that there wasn’t a problem and my heart wasn’t racing with fear, but the look on her face, while caring and concerned, was also warning me not to lie to her. Not that i’d manage anyway, she always had ways of finding out the truth eventually.

I shook my head, letting out a small sigh and turning in my seat to address her. My eyes met hers and I felt my heart settle slightly just by looking at her, she always made me feel safe.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” She whispered, her hand coming up to rest on my cheek, her thumb stroking my cheekbone in small movements.

“It’s so silly, really.”

“Nothing is silly if it’s upsetting you Detka. Tell me.”

“It’s this movie.”

The confusion was obvious on her face, yet she stayed quiet, allowing me to elaborate.

“I just, I’ve never been the best with clowns. Ever since I was a child, I’ve had this fear of them. If I saw one, I’d run in the opposite direction, which was more often than one would think. I mean, seriously, who wants one of those things at a party? What happened to princess parties? Or tea parties!” I exclaimed, my tone becoming more intense as I spoke.

Natasha nodded, I could almost see the cogs turning in her head, figuring out how to approach the situation. After a minute or two, she focused her eyes back on me and her hands had trailed down to meet with mine, interlocking them in the process.

“Do you want to skip it tonight?” She suggested.

“No, no, I don’t want to cause a fuss. Plus, I kinda don’t want the others knowing.”

“Are you absolutely sure? I’m sure we can pull a sickie for one night.”

“I’m sure. Just, can you stay next to me? And let me hide if it gets really bad?”

“Of course you can. I’ll be next to you the whole time.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

___________________

We were at the haunted house scene in the movie. There had already been jumpscares that I'd managed to avoid for the most part, but I don’t think I've moved past Georgie’s death yet, let alone have time to process the psycho killer clown on the screen.

Eddie was in a room alone, he was staring at this dirty, old fridge and a white hand had appeared, curling itself around and tapping on the side so you could only see it’s fingers. I tugged the blanket that was laid across Natasha and i’s laps and pulled it up to my nose, eyes still on the screen, but prepared to take cover. It appears as though nothing has changed from all those years ago.

As the fridge door creaked open, my blanket had raised higher and higher, my grip tightening by the second while the hand reappeared, this time, you could see it’s entire body contorted into this small space.

“Nope. No, absolutely fucking not. No.” I mumbled, covering my eyes with my fluffy shield. Luckily, Nat had stolen the sofa at the back, meaning I could skip the scary parts without anyone taking much notice, them being too entranced by the movie. Weirdo’s.

In my safety bubble I'd created, I felt my girlfriend’s hand on my thigh, rubbing small circles to reassure me that I was okay, and that she was here. I shuffled a little so I was closer to her, if that was even possible, her then adjusting so that her hand was still on my thigh, but another arm was wrapped securely around me, pulling me into her side a little more.

I assumed we would stay like that for a bit, until she started to shift more noticeably and lifted the part of the blanket closest to her, and put it over her own head, taking me by surprise, a faint gasp leaving my lips when seeing that she’d joined me.

“You doing okay under here?” She spoke softly, a hint of amusement playing on her face as she looked at me folded up into a ball.

“I am. This blanket protects me from all.”

“Of course it does, the fluffier it is, the more protection, right?” She quoted words i’d spoken earlier on when bringing in the blanket for us.

“Are you sure you’re not going to boil under there?”

“Nope. And even if I do, the fluffier the blanket, the more protection from cannibal clowns.” I’d explained proudly. Yes, I'm an Avenger that fights extraterrestrials and demigods and still runs to a blanket for safety, leave me alone.

We stayed under there for a minute or two, holding hands and sharing small kisses while the movie continued and we hid in our little bubble.

“C’mon lovebirds, the movie isn’t over yet, you can continue that when we’ve gone to bed if you must.” Stark called out, causing Natasha to roll her eyes and retreat back to her previous position.

I don’t know what ran through my mind, I clearly didn’t think twice about the situation I was in, my default being to follow Natasha and pull the blanket down and off my head. Upon resurfacing from my cocoon, I looked towards the Television. Bad idea. With a shriek that I'm almost certain could be heard from Asgard, I flew under the blanket again after seeing Pennywise with all of his teeth on show, edging towards Eddie to eat him.

Natasha’s arms wound their way around me again, slightly shaking now from the fright. Even though the blanket tended to muffle sounds, I could hear the room fill with laughter and comments from the Avengers.

“I didn’t know your voice could go that high Y/L/N”

“Pennywise! You scared Y/N!”

“Y/N, it’s literally-”

“How about you guys shut up and watch the movie? Otherwise I swear to god Thor, I’ll bring snakes in here and Sam, I’ll cut the wings off of your suit.” I heard the redhead next to me threaten, alongside some more punishments to the others who laughed, immediately silencing them, all of them knowing that she wasn’t one for an empty threat.

Even though the laughter died down and no more words were spoken, tears still built up in my eyes and were daring to fall down my cheeks. I feel so embarrassed. A room full of superheroes and I was scared to death over a fictional clown in front of all of them.

I tried to keep my sniffles to a minimum and at a level where no one could hear me, however, they seemed to have caught Nat’s attention as she whispered to me, loud enough for me to hear, but quietly so that it was only me that could hear.

“Mind if I come in?”

I chose not to verbally respond, instead, I pulled the edge of the blanket up, allowing her to bend down and make her way underneath. After making herself comfortable, she turned to me and did, what felt like study, my face before tutting under her breath.

“Идиоты. Are you okay?” I smiled at her speaking Russian. She often switched between the two, interchanging within sentences. I’d been around her enough to pick up on some of the terms, funnily enough she’d said that word so often, my understanding was immediate.

“Feeling a bit humiliated” My voice came out weak and slightly gravelly from the crying, her thumb immediately wiped the tears off of my cheeks, lingering afterwards.

“Don’t be. Everyone has their fears, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by having them. Okay? It just means you're human.” She patiently explained, sparking a question to leave my lips before realising.

“Do you have a fear?”

She smiled “mhm”

“Can I know what it is?”

She leaned in closer to me, lips hovering beside my ear so I could feel and hear her breathing quietly.

“Идиоты” She whispered, resulting in me clamping my hand over my mouth to limit the noise my laughter was making.

“There’s that smile I love.” She took my chin in her index finger and her thumb, her face once again, coming closer towards mine before our lips met in the middle, sharing a soft, quick kiss, distracting me from any embarrassment i’d previously felt.

________________

The movie had just finished, everyone was getting up and starting to clear up any mess they’d made, mainly popcorn that had fallen everywhere, Wanda and Vision being the main culprit, jumping at the scary parts had caused a popcorn avalanche near their seats.

Nat and I gathered our blankets and snacks we’d brought in, trying to ignore the slight tension hanging in the air, and just as we were about to walk to our bedroom, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Peter.

Rocking back and forth on his heels and fidgeting with his hands, he smiled.

“Hey, uh- miss Y/L/N. Miss Romanoff, sorry, I just wanted to come and make sure you were okay.” He rushed, clearly anxious to approach us considering the telling off Natasha gave everyone earlier.

“I’m okay, thank you Peter. You can call me Y/N by the way, ‘miss’ makes me feel old.” I chuckled, visibly seeing his shoulders relax at my response, he was really sweet, never wanting to get on anyone’s bad side. He’s a good kid.

“Sorry mi-,Y/N, sorry, I’ll remember for next time. That movie was pretty freaky, if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”

“I will, thank you.”

Feeling more relaxed, I made a slow but steady beeline for the bedroom, wanting to have cuddles with Nat and go to sleep, hopefully forget the movie ever happened. Soon enough, we were both changed into a vest top, I wore a pair of shorts and Nat wore a pair of sweats and we were in bed, facing each other with our legs tangled together, our noses bumping every so often.

“I love you” I mumbled in between kisses, eyes opening briefly to be met by her green orbs looking back at me.

“I love you more, Detka.”

A silence then overtook the room, only being able to hear the breeze outside and a slight whistle from where it was flying through the trees. I’d usually adore this, finding peace in the wind and the darkness, tonight however, it felt unsettling. All I could hear in my head was the soundtrack to the movie, picturing the bloody teeth and that creepy smile from earlier in my head.

“Love?” I nudged my girlfriend’s nose gently, hoping she was still somewhat awake.

“Mhmm?”

“Can you, can you possibly sing to me?” Her eyes fluttered open, a sleepy smile on her face, wrapping her arms tightly around me before humming a quiet melody, sending me into a blissful sleep.

By noon the next day, I had received apologies from everyone in the compound, a couple of bone crushing hugs from Thor and some complementary pancakes that Wanda had made with some help from Bruce, aprons on and covered in flour. Everyone tucked into their individual stacks, enjoying some lighthearted conversation, Nat taking the opportunity to press a small kiss to the back of my hand, I quickly returned the gesture. It was lovely.

Movie night was a rollercoaster, but at the end of the day, I was surrounded by the best people, and nothing would change that, not even the fear of clowns.

Though they’re still really fucking scary.

taglist: @the-dumbass-that-throws-knives

[streetlight11]

Love Notes

Summary: People usually mistake Slytherins as the mean and nasty ones. Nobody told you that you would be stuck with the loud and obnoxious boy from Gryffindor. One day during your fifth year, you started receiving anonymous notes in your books, pockets, table, etc. The question is, who gave them to you?

Theme: Hogwarts au, enemies to lovers

Genre: fluff, angst [not really]

Warnings: none

WC: 4.9k

Pairing: Gryffindor!Haknyeon x Slytherin!FemReader

a/n: Hi again :) I've been binge watching Harry Potter movies for the past few days and I love it so much. So here's a little Hogwarts fic with Hakkie! Do send me requests if you have any! I'm open to writing them :)

Going to Hogwarts was probably the best thing to happen to you. And getting yourself sorted into Slytherin house was also the best thing to ever happen to you. Except, nobody told you that you would have a horrendous time being in the same classes as the loud and obnoxious boy from Gryffindor.

His name?

Was Ju Haknyeon.

“Did you lose your way to class again today?” Haknyeon teased when you arrived at your seat that just so happens to be right in front of him. You were in your fifth year and yet he has never once gone a day without getting on a single nerve on your body.

“Did you lose your pacifier on your way here cause you can’t seem to keep your mouth shut.” You scowled at him only to earn a soft chuckle from him.

“Look who’s talking now…” Haknyeon smirks, earning a kick to his desk from you. Your seat partner and also one of your close friends, Wooyoung couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the said boy.

Professor Snape finally dismissed the class as everyone quickly scrambled out of the room. You were walking with Wooyoung and Yeosang as the former began rambling about his terrible date yesterday when you suddenly felt an arm over your shoulder. The last person you hoped for it to be, ends up proving you wrong the minute he spoke.

“Hey hey, have you practiced for the Quidditch game this season? Wouldn’t wanna lose your Quidditch title to other houses.” Haknyeon whispered into your ear, making you push his face away.

“Do you ever shut up?” You said as he smirked, casually pursing his lips into a kissy face.

You rolled your eyes at him, elbowing his stomach to make him leave your side. Haknyeon left your side for a brief moment before coming back to you to stop in front of you while leaning down a little to match your height. Once he was right in front of you, he smirked cheekily at you.

“I won’t shut up when I’m with you, darling.” He whispered.

You cupped his face with both hands, only to lean in to let your lips hover over his as you whispered under your breath, “Don’t make me do it for you, sweetheart.” The moment you pulled away from him and began to walk away, Haknyeon could’ve sworn he felt his heart skip a few beats.

“Now, class, please open to page 367.” Professor McGonagall announced as you heard the sounds of pages being turned. You did the same, flipping the pages a few at a time until a slip of note drops out from your book. It was a pretty blue colour that has been folded into the shape of a flower.

“Did you put this in my book?” You asked Wooyoung who was seated beside you, only for him to shake his head. Just then, a voice came from behind you.

“Oh look, the Slytherin’s princess got herself a love note.” Haknyeon said. It annoyed you to the point where you had to cast a spell on him from under your desk to shut him up for 2 hours. A few weeks have gone by and you have been getting anonymous notes slipped into your textbooks, locker, and sometimes even in your coat pockets.

However, all the notes always end up in your bag, never touched or read before.

It was a Thursday afternoon and you were just walking into your Transfiguration class when a female student from Hufflepuff came up to you giddily excited as she informed you what she saw.

“Omg Y/N! Someone gave you a rose and a letter! It’s on your desk!” She squeaked, allowing a couple of eyes to land on you, who was standing at the back of the class with Wooyoung and Yeosang. With that being said, you glanced over to your desk to find that she was right.

However, you noticed that Haknyeon’s table was empty. Maybe he finally got sick and couldn’t come to class today.

“The Slytherin’s princess got a gift today huh? That’s new.”

Maybe not.

Haknyeon said casually as he strolls past you with his hands tucked into his pant’s pockets while he makes his way over to his desk. You rolled your eyes at the back of his head before walking up to your desk and soon took the rose and note only to stuff it in your bag.

“Why don’t you read it outloud for all of us to hear, darling? I’m sure your admirer would love to see the way your eyes turn into heart shapes for them.” Haknyeon smirked.

You couldn’t lie, Haknyeon has in fact gotten slightly more manlier in built and also a bit more nicer looking in terms of his face features.

Which is why you’d be damned if you admitted out loud that your heart did a little flip when he smirked at you.

“The last person I’d wanna read it aloud to is you so no, that won’t happen.” You grumbled before sitting down at your desk. Wooyoung couldn’t help but chuckle as he told you about Haknyeon's offended face he made after you said that.

A few hours later, everyone was making their way back to their common rooms after dinner. You were just walking towards the Slytherin’s common room when Felix spoke up to you, “Hey, is it true you’ve been getting love notes from someone in class?”

“I don’t know what they are, I’ve never opened them.” You confessed, earning a few gasps from your friends.

“Aren’t you even a slight bit curious?” Minho asked.

“Look, I doubt it’s even real. It might just be a prank from someone. I don’t know…” You said almost confidently.

“Oh come on, just open one and see what it says. It doesn’t hurt to read one.” Wooyoung encouraged you as you rolled your eyes at him. It was already after hours. Everyone was asleep except you. So you quietly tip-toed your way to the living area, only to sit near the green fireplace with your bag filled with the notes you kept for the past 5 weeks. You took one of the notes out and soon unfolded it one after another.

“You look pretty today.”

“Your eyes sparkle like the green flames of your house.”

“You make me forget why I’m in this class.”

“Your smile could cure my sadness.”

“If only the clouds would make way for a sunshine like you”

“Don’t lose that smile, it’s the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen”

“Are you a love potion? Cause I feel like I’ve fallen in love with you”

You then happened to take out the note that was attached to the rose you got earlier in which it said;

“A pretty flower for a pretty girl like you.”

And the list goes on and on as you read them. However, one thing you noticed was the lack of initials, leaving these notes anonymous.

“Who are you?”

This question swirls in your head as you keep these notes in a little treasure chest your mom gave you for your 15th birthday.

You were on your way to the Quidditch field to play for the Quidditch Tournament with your team members. Upon making it to the courtyard, you just so happen to bump into Haknyeon. You noticed the Red and Gold striped sweater, along with his pants and a cloak in contrast to your full Quidditch attire together with the arms and leg gears.

“Hey guys, mind if I steal ‘yours truly’ for a moment? I promise I’ll bring her back to you guys in one whole.” Haknyeon smiles innocently to your friends, earning a few snickers from them but they nonetheless left you alone with him.

Once they were out of sight, you turned to him with a frown.

“What do you want now, Ju? And make it quick. I have a game to win.” You snapped, earning a chuckle from him.

“Relax beasty, I won’t hold you back for long.”

“So what do you want?”

“You know this is a seasonal championship right?”

“And?”

“And this year’s winner will be titled the Season’s Champion, yes?”

“O...kay?” You raised an eyebrow at him in question, not sure where this conversation was heading to.

“So let’s make a bet.”

You started to laugh as you clutched your stomach, afraid of growing six packs while you did that. Unfortunately, you didn’t get the same response from him which made you confused and eventually stopped.

“A bet? You wanna make a bet? Sure. You’ll only be crying at the end of it cause Slytherin’s gonna take the prize home.”

“Hmm, I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you. So let’s make a bet.” Haknyeon urges you again, to which you couldn’t help but agree just so you could prove him wrong.

“Fine. If Slytherin wins, you’re gonna leave me alone for the rest of the year.” You said.

“And if Gryffindor wins, you have to go on 3 dates with me.” He announced. You weren’t gonna lie, you were a little shocked by his proposal but you didn’t want to back out now so you shook hands on it.

“Deal.”

“Choi Jongho has gotten the snitch! Gryffindor wins!” Lee Jordan, the commentator from Gryffindor announced as you slammed your fist onto your broomstick. You’ve lost a few times before throughout your 5 years in Hogwarts but today was a little different as you had your bet with Haknyeon hanging by a thread.

You were floating about 10 feet away from Gryffindor’s stand, your gaze naturally fleeting to the left only to lock eyes with the blonde haired devil from Gryffindor who had a smirk on his face before he mouthed something so clear to you.

“I win.”

You couldn’t even respond to him so you simply flew down and back into your pitch tent along with the rest of your teammates. After you were done with post-game preps, you all began to make your way back to your common rooms.

It wasn’t until you were at the grand staircase that you bumped into Haknyeon and his friends. He gave you a cheeky little wink before snapping his fingers and soon, you felt a slip of paper magically appear in your hands.

You kept it in your hands until you went back, only opening it when you were in your bed.

“Nice game. I hope you don’t forget about our bet. See you at Three Broomsticks Inn, this Saturday. 12pm. Don’t be late. Oh, and, wear prettily ;) - JHN”

You were definitely in for a treat.

The day finally came as you made an excuse to your friends saying you couldn’t go with them to Hogsmeade because you promised to help Ginny with her Muggle studies. The minute they left, you got upstairs to change out of your pyjamas and into some comfortable jeans, a sweater, a denim jacket and a pair of worn out sneakers.

You teleported to Hogsmeade using the Floo Powder your mom gave you just in case you needed to rush home due to an emergency.

You arrived at a dark alley in Hogsmeade, making sure your friends weren’t around before you left the safety of that alley. Carefully walking past some villagers, you found your way to the Inn without getting caught. With one gentle push of the wooden door, you were immediately greeted by the bustling customers.

You looked around the room to find for the devil who shall not be named and Lord Behold, he waves over to you from one of the tables across the room. You almost lost your footing when you saw what he wore.

It was almost as if he knew what you were going to wear. He was wearing black pants with a denim jacket. Simple yet so good looking.

You went over to him only to sit on his left where it was nearer to the edge of the semi circle couch.

“You’re late, you know?” Haknyeon laughs.

“Yeah but I’m here aren’t I?” You scoffed softly under your breath, earning a little giggle from him.

“On our first date too? You’re a terrible one.” He joked.

“Fine then. Go find someone who’s on time for your date, maybe they’ll actually arrive earlier than you.” Right before you could slide out of the seat, Haknyeon gently grabs your wrist to stop you.

“Relax, I’m just kidding… Come on, butterbeer on me. Deal?” He asked, shaking his wallet in between his fingers as though telling you he really meant it when he said he’ll pay for it.

Of course you couldn’t let this moment up, which is why you agreed to it. Unfortunately, right before he could slide out the opposite end of the table, your eyes flew over to the front doors where the bell chimed indicating a customer. That’s when you saw your friends walking in and you could’ve sworn they would see you in a matter of seconds if they just turned to the left slightly.

“Oh shit!” You cursed as you grabbed hold of Haknyeon’s collar only to drag him out of the table and soon towards the back. Haknyeon was a little taken aback by your sudden aggression as he began to ask you a series of questions.

You quickly pulled him behind one of the pillars, shoving him against the concrete wall as you peeked past the pillar.

“Okay, if you want to kill me, at least do it when we’re in private.” He teased you.

“Shut up. My friends are here. I lied to them saying I can’t join them.” You whispered, trying to see if your friends wouldn’t make it to the back. What you didn’t realize was the way Haknyeon was discreetly checking you out.

“You know, for a Slytherin, you’re not as sly as you think you are. What makes you think they can’t figure out it’s you from a dist-”

“Kiss me.”

You suddenly spoke as he stared at you with wide eyes. He almost couldn’t believe his ears when you said that.

“What?”

“I said kiss me!” You loudly whispered but your eyes were frantically flickering back and forth to something behind him.

However, right before you could yell at him, you felt him snaking his right arm around your waist while the other hand reached up to cup your cheek, pulling you into a soft and gentle kiss. You fluttered your eyelids close as he turned you so that his back would be facing the open area while your smaller form gets shielded from the public eye.

You could hear your friend’s voices getting closer and closer and eventually made their way past Haknyeon’s back. You could’ve sworn you heard some of them snicker and scoff at your unknown presence.

Once they are gone, Haknyeon pulls back from you with the softest sound as he caresses your cheek for a moment.

Suddenly your heart was picking up speed against your chest. You locked eyes with him for a second or two, feeling him tilt his head slightly to make his lips brush over yours again purposely before pulling away completely.

“I reckon we should leave?” He chuckled, making you nod.

“Yes please.”

With that being said, he let you leave the hiding spot first, making sure he used his body to block you from unwanted view.

A few hours passed where he took you to a few of his favourite shops in Hogsmeade, including some personal spots around town where he usually goes when he needs space to be by himself. You were now making your way back to the castle as you both managed to not quarrel for more than a minute of being with each other.

You must admit, it was nice getting to know Haknyeon better instead of fighting with him like usual.

It has been four days since your first date with Haknyeon and again, you still received the notes. This time, it said;

“You’re cute. Can I keep you?”

With that, you couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle.

“What? Did the person who gave you those letters finally revealed himself?” Wooyoung asked from beside you, only for you to show him the note.

“No, but isn’t it tiring to keep thinking of cheesy love notes to write almost everyday?” You whispered to him upon hearing Professor McGonagall enter the class.

“Well, I would say this person is totally head over heels for you to even write these from day 1.” Wooyoung speaks utter nonsense most of the time, but maybe he made some sense today.

You were on your second date with Haknyeon, as he promised to take you on a ride. What ride might I ask? Not just any ride. He was taking you on a ride on a Hippogriff.

“Are you sure we won’t get in trouble for this? I really don’t want to be expelled.” You warned him as he laughed at you.

“Aren’t you being a little too goody two shoes for a Slytherin?” Haknyeon teased, only to get a good slap to his arm from you.

“Say anything stupid again and I swear you’ll be the one swimming in the lake with the damn Lochness.” You threatened as he raised his arms in a surrender but there was a wide grin on his face. Something you’ve grown to adore these days.

With that, he soon hops on the magical creature easily, leaving you nervous. Haknyeon had his hand extended out for you to take but you were afraid.

“Y/N come on, we don’t have forever!” He said.

“What if I fall?” You panicked but you ended up unconsciously whining, making him giggle.

“I won’t let you fall. I promise. Now come on, darling.” Haknyeon jerks his hand to you again, only for you to stare at it for a bit before you finally take his hand into yours. He easily pulled you up and onto the animal’s back. You sat in front of him while you gently grabbed onto the creature’s neck, being careful that you don’t accidentally harm it.

“Okay Buckbeak, show us whatchu got.” Haknyeon said as he gave the creature a few pats to its belly and soon, the creature took off flying into the sky. You let out a scream, hugging the neck tightly while Haknyeon holds onto nothing.

He clearly had more experience than you in terms of flying on this creature’s back.

You had your eyes closed the entire time even when you felt the smooth glide across the air. Still being stubborn to open your eyes, you felt him tap your shoulders.

“Y/N come on! Open your eyes! You’re missing out on the view!” His voice sounded so excited behind you, it almost made you believe it wasn’t the same boy who has been a living nuisance to you all these while.

“No way! I’m just gonna panic even more if I see how high we are!” You yelled over the loud gush of wind that might be rendering your hearing.

“I promise we’ll be fine, just open your eyes! Trust me!” Haknyeon reassured you as you felt him gently slide his hands down your arms and onto your wrist to pull them away from the creature’s neck. You shook your head desperately, hoping he’d leave you alone. Unfortunately for you, he didn’t.

Instead, he thought it would be a good idea to scare you. Maybe that way you’ll finally open your eyes.

And you did.

Because the minute you heard him yell for help, you immediately opened your eyes and turned around only to find him seated firmly on Buckbeak’s back with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You bloody piece of shit!” You huffed in annoyance as you turned back around only for Buckbeak to playfully tilt his body up to make you fall back slightly. That’s when a string of curses left your lips while you desperately grabbed onto its neck.

“Don’t do that Buckbeak!” You scolded the animal, only to get a little sound from him. Just then, Haknyeon decides to challenge you.

“Wanna know what it feels to fly?”

“Uhh, no?”

“It’ll be fun. Here.” Haknyeon said as he slowly reached over to grab your wrists while his firm chest softly pressed against your back but for some reason, it made you feel some sort of safety.

“W-What are you doing?” You stuttered, only for him to smile and soon spoke into your ears leaving a soft tingling feel to your skin.

“Just trust me.”

With that being said, he gently spreads your arms out on either side of you, making them act like wings for you. As Buckbeak glided through the air, you imagined you were flying until you heard him whisper into your ear, “Close your eyes.”

You did as he said, only for it to enhance the imagination. A smile naturally appears on your lips as you completely didn’t see the way he was staring at you from beside you. Ignoring the way his hands found your waist and left it there for the rest of the ride.

It was your third and final date for the bet you made with him. For some odd reason, you didn’t want it to end but of course you couldn’t tell him that. So when you met him at the lake, you looked slightly down and he noticed. Haknyeon wouldn’t let this slide easily which is why he decided to tease you about it.

“What’s with the long face, darling? Already attached to me?”

You scoffed as you approached him by the swing only for you to take a seat at the wooden plank beside his seated figure on the grass patch.

“So what? This was just for the bet anyway.” You mumbled under your breath, not realizing that he heard you.

The next few minutes went by like how your previous dates went. Constant teasing, playful jokes and banter, friendly chats and even random fights that involve you throwing a handful of dead leaves at him while he scoops water from the lake and proceeds to toss it at you.

At the end of this short date, you had just arrived at the end of the wooden bridge when he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you from walking any further.

“I just remembered I promised my friends I’d meet them at the Three Broomsticks Inn in like 5 minutes so I have to leave you from here on.” He said.

“Right…” You said, your voice sounded a little sad.

“I guess the bet’s over. Thanks… for... well, going on the dates with me.” Haknyeon said, eyes flickering back and forth between your eyes and the wooden panels behind you.

“A bet’s a bet right? I’d be a wimp if I didn’t do it.” You smiled.

There was a beat of awkward silence as you got ready to leave when he said something that made your stomach flip.

“That’s it? No goodbye kiss? I thought this was a date?” Haknyeon pouted, keeping his gaze on you as stable as possible. You almost couldn’t believe your ears.

Did he just ask you for a kiss?

“I… Umm… Okay?” You stuttered in confusion, earning a soft little giggle from him.

However, the nerves soon disappear the minute he takes a step closer and soon wraps one hand around your waist while the other cups your face before he leans down to let his lips seal yours. You instantly fluttered your eyes shut, letting your hands rest on his chest.

The kiss felt so genuine, you almost forgot how you used to fight with this same boy 24/7. Haknyeon smiled against your lips as he pulled back for air shortly before kissing you again.

His lips were intoxicating, you almost forgot how to breathe. Haknyeon gives you a cheeky little lick to your bottom lip as he soon pulls away from you, leaving you breathless. You pressed your forehead softly against his as you kept your eyes shut, too embarrassed to look at him at this point.

His chuckle fills your ears as he cups your face with both hands and whispers against your lips.

“Go. Be safe. Avoid the common grounds, that’s where Filch always lurks around.” Soon after, he gave your lips another peck before you felt wind whooshing around you. Immediately, his touch left you and it almost made you crumble to the ground.

What did he do to you?

A few days later, you were just having lunch with everyone else at their respective house tables and your friends surrounded you when you saw a note slipping past from under your plate. A pretty baby blue one that is. You carefully unfolded it, only to see it read;

“I realized I was thinking of you, and I began to wonder how long you’ve been on my mind. Then it occurred to me: Since the day I met you, you’ve never left.”

For some reason, those words meant something to you.

It was as though you knew this person and have created some sort of a bond with them. And yet, you still don’t know who. However, you do now have a little suspicion on who it was and who these notes belonged to. So to test your theory, you looked up from your table, almost immediately catching the eyes of the same pair of brown ones you’ve grown accustomed to.

Haknyeon was already staring like he knew you were going to find him. What surprised you the most is the fact that he didn’t even flinch when you caught him.

You held eye contact for a second before you got cut off by Wooyoung putting a scoopful of mashed potatoes onto your plate. You gave the boy a little smack to his head, earning a choke from him. When you looked back over to Haknyeon, he was already talking to his friend with the back of his head facing you.

A few hours later, you were having your Potions class when a note popped out of nowhere from under your book. To avoid getting minus points from Snape, you quickly shoved the note into your cloak pocket and yet you still got called by the Head of Slytherin for not paying attention.

Therefore, having to serve detention.

You could only curse him in your head while you cleaned every single flask and cauldron pots till they were spick and span.

Once you were done, you left the room only to find Haknyeon leaning against the wall with one leg bent to rest his foot on the wall. He was busy playing with his Patronus charm when his eyes flicked up upon hearing the door open.

“Haknyeon? What are you doing here? Don’t we have Transfiguration right now?” You loudly whispered as you approached him only to drag him towards the end where you were hidden from Snape’s office door. Once you were hiding behind the pillar, you turned to peek past the wall with Haknyeon right in front of you.

The hallway was empty thanks to the classes going on currently but that doesn’t mean you were free from not being caught out of class.

“I told Professor McGonagall I’m having stomach aches so she excused me to go to the hospital wing.” Haknyeon explained, only for you to frown.

“And why were you waiting outside Snape’s office, might I ask?”

“To see you.”

“You couldn’t wait till I come to class?” You asked with a slight tease in your voice.

“Needed to see you right after detention, so that I could do this.”

With that being said, he easily captures you into a kiss. You sighed through your nose as you cupped his neck to pull him closer to you. Haknyeon wraps his arms around your waist, letting himself trap you against the wall and his body. You changed your head positions to be at a slightly more comfortable state, feeling him squeeze your sides.

Just then, he pulled away for a breath, making it easy for you to slip in the question.

“All those notes were from you, weren’t they?”

Haknyeon grew quiet for a moment but then decided to just come clean with you. After all, that’s what he has been wanting to do anyway.

“Are you disappointed?”

“I would be if you told me this 4 weeks ago… But now? Not so much.” You smiled.

“Really?” He asked.

“Would I do this if I was disappointed?” You asked only to kiss him again. Haknyeon smirks against your lips as you feel him lift you up and spin you around. When he placed you back down, he gave you a peck on the lips and soon spoke up.

“Should I stop giving you notes then?”

“Go ahead. Cause I’ve already won the prize.”

“You sure have.”

~~~