#Guess I'm gonna take a break on these pairings if that makes anyone feel better. Sorry.

[piko-power]

Seeing posts about the Takeover and complaining about "ship baits" made me remember why I felt ashamed about liking sonamy and sonadow a few years ago...

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

view all comments

user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

view all comments

user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

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user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

view all comments

user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[silent-stories]

Brother's best friend! Noah

Pairing: Noah sebastian x reader

Summary: Jolly knows.

The dressing room you were in was dimly lit, quiet except for the low hum of the crowd outside as you were enjoying the pre-show silence, waiting for Noah.

You leaned against a wall, knowing he would pop in at any second before going out. It was almost ritual, by now, even if there was always a degree of risk.

The door opened without noise, and you smiled at the sight of him.

Noah's brown eyes caught your gaze. He said nothing; he merely came to you, his arms slipping about your waist as if that was the place where they belonged.

"Hey," he whispered, bending to press a soft kiss against your lips, the light brush sending warmth spreading through your chest.

"Hey," you whispered back, your fingers tracing down the fabric of his jacket as you drew him in a little closer.

"How're you feeling?" Noah asked low, like forgetting that he was the one who was about to perform in front of hundreds of people and not you, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear. His eyes were tender, the kind to make you forget you were in a room where anyone could walk in.

"Good," you said, being truthful-a small smile tugging at your lips. "Better now that you're here."

He smiled, one of those smiles that skipped a beat in your heart. "I needed this before going out there."

You leaned up to kiss him again, slower this time, to savor the quiet intimacy of the moment. His hand was against your back, tugging you closer, deepening the kiss enough to remind you just how much you both craved these brief moments alone.

But just as you pulled back, still feeling the warmth of his breath against your lips, you heard a slight noise from behind.

Both of you turned, and your heart dropped when you saw Jolly standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and an amused look on his face. Your stomach twisted.

You took a half-step backward, but Noah didn't budge; his arm remained around your waist. Neither one of you panicked. As a matter of fact, there was some sort of silent exchange of looks between you both, each of you waiting for the other's reaction to see how Jolly would take it.

"Man, look I-" Noah started, but Jolly waved his hand, a smile breaking across his features.

"Relax," he said lightly. "You don't have to explain anything. I've known for a while now."

You and Noah stared in surprise. "You... have?"

Jolly snorted, taking a further step into the room. "Yeah, I'm not blind. I have seen you sneaking around. And the way you two act with each other? I mean, it's not that hard, really, to figure out."

You exchanged a quick look with Noah; a slow smile pulled the corner of his lips down, part relief, part amusement. "Guess we weren't as subtle as we thought."

"Not even close," Jolly snickered, "but I don't care. Honestly, I've just been waiting for one of you to say something."

You relaxed completely now, a soft laugh escaping your lips. "You didn't think that it was weird? I mean, me and Noah? Nick thinks he is like... a brother too."

Jolly shrugged, his expression softening. "Nah. You're both adults. If this makes you happy, then what's the problem? You're not doing anything wrong."

Noah exhaled too, relieved. "You don't think he'd freak out?"

Jolly cocked his head, considering a moment. "Nick might be a bit surprised initially, sure. But he's not going to freak out. You're his sister, Noah's his best friend. If anything, he might actually be relieved it's you two-people he trusts."

That was something you hadn't considered. You'd always wished Nick would react badly, but Jolly's words showed you another perspective. "So. you think he wouldn't mind?"

"I think," Jolly said with a grin once more, "he's gonna be okay. He maybe just needs a day or two to get used to it, but he's not gonna blow up over this."

Noah chuckled softly and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Well, thanks, man. We didn't want to cause any drama."

Jolly shook his head. "There's no drama." He said before turning back toward the door. "I'll leave you two alone. But don't take too long, they're waiting for you out there."

The air was lighter in the room with the door clicked shut behind him. Noah let loose a deep breath, and you couldn't but burst out in laughter with such an overwhelming feeling of relief. "Well, that went better than expected."

Noah grinned, pulling you back into his arms. "No kidding. I thought we were busted."

"Turns out we've been busted for a while," you teased, leaning your head against his chest.

"Yeah, well, I'm just glad he's cool with it." He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, his hands resting lightly on your waist. "Maybe we won't have to sneak around anymore soon."

You smiled, lifting your head to look up at him. "Mh. Maybe."

Noah leaned down and his lips captured yours in a long, slow kiss. For the first time, there was no feeling of rush or secrecy. It felt right, like finally some of the weight of hiding was lifting. As he pulled back, his thumb brushed your cheek light, his eyes filled with the warmth you'd grown to love.

"You need to go, rockstar. Or someone is really gonna get mad at you this time."

"I know." He smiled, leaned in, and kissed you once more, your fingers resting against the familiar fabric of his jacket until you found the torn balaclava coming out of his pocket.

You slipped it over his head when his lips were still on yours.

"Noah. Go. Now."

"Okay, okay." He chuckled, fixing the mask. "Mayhem, I'm coming."

Tags: @anything-more-than-human @ladyveronikawrites @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @fadingangelwisp @xmads-omensx @iwasntstable @thisbicc @pathion @mathfairchild1 @flowery-mess @into-the-grey @lma1986 @tosoundlessdarkistare @stardustsirenmelody @thewrstinme

[thewinchestah]

"Chega de Saudade" - Alastor X Reader fic

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader.

Summary: When Alastor breaks into the V's building seven years later he expects to find a lot of things, lot of obnoxious, enraging, tacky things. He did not expect to find you. The Radio Demon does not take betrayl lightly and you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to his worst enemy. Better yet, you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to Vox and Alastor finding out. The soul you sold because Alastor left you for 7 years. Safe to say, it's a mess. A pretty, angsty, dark and delicious mess.

Warnings: Alastor is in Hell for a reason,general hellish violence,general hellish creepiness,eventual smut, i carioca coded valentino bc i can and bc he is very carioca sorry everyone,blackmail, Soul Selling, author is really invested in politics and decided to micromanage hazbin hotel canon, Corruption, Extortion, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, but nothing too explicit,mature themes in general, canon divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Eventual Smut, Alastor gets insane in this one you've been warned, fear play, Possessive Behavior, posessive sex, big bad radio demon is gonna fuck up the guy who stole his girl and will make it everyone's problem, Reader-Insert,no y/n,no beta we die like men here, i feel bad for tagging vox in this fic cause i think it's a disservice i really hate him and i make it clear so vox stans be warned, it's hell i hope y'all remeber ethics are fluid, posessive!Alastor, unhinged!Alastor, Isane!Alastor

Taglist: honestly only my queen @jyoongim i have no credibility to tag anyone anymore after being away for so long. If you wanna be tagged on future updates just let me know!

A/N:HI HEY BUNNY ANON IF YOU ARE STILL HERE THIS ONE FOR YOU!! Hiii everyone guess who's back. I had this fic cooking for a while now, actually i had a lot of writing cooking but in a very Ao3 author fashion a lot happened. You see i was on this writing streak and then my 15yo dog died while i was out of state. I had to go back on anti depressants and take a sabbatical. I got a new puppy and she's the light of my life. Got super sick, won a horse show. My first plan for this fic was having the first 3 chapters done and ready for debuting together because i always feel i'm lacking when i show up with only one chapter lol. After a while i realised i needed to get this first chapter out too see the light of day if i wanted to write again so here it is. This fic is a bit different from my other Alastor fics and i have a rough outline of 5 chapters so i think this beast will be more than 20k words long for sure. I decided to get a little deeper into Hell's politics and all the "no one ever thought of using heavenly weapons against hell even tough Hell's ancient and the best worst of humanity and demonkind is here". I call that bullshit sorry i'm brazilian i'm well versed in shady politicians and shady politics and unfortunatly, dear reader, you are in for this ride too. This fic kicks off right after "Stayed Gone". Also did i mention i'm brazilian and that my works are heavily inspired by brazilian media. This entire fic was inspired by one of my favourite songs of all time "Chega de saudade". And let's be real, Alastor and bossa nova are the perfect match. So yeah, english is not my first language and this isn't beta'd so sorry for any confusion or mistakes. Thank you so so much for reading my fics and always leaving the most kind beautiful and heartwarming feedback. I hope i can still deliver a nice story to my darling readers.

Click here for my other fics.

CHAPTER ONE: chega de saudade a realidade é que sem ela não pode ser.

In the first year you were calm and collected. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation to why he is gone. Is he even gone, gone? He’s coming home soon, you can feel it. 

In the second year you convinced yourself there were signs everyone explaining why he was gone and when he was coming back, you were just too oblivious to them before. But everything can be a sign when you are delusional.

In the third year you cried so much you felt you were constantly drowning. You barely left home and some thought you were gone too. Gone to him.

In the fourth year you finally gave in and took the deal. Lack of self-preservation and machiavellian schemes working together to create a trap for him. He would come home out of anger, ire. But you can't outfox the fox.

In the fifth year you decided to scour hell and beyond after him. You went to places just to taunt him. Paranoia became your best friend, blood sweat and tears as you repeat “This time it will work, I'm sure of it”. Can a lie be said so many times it becomes the truth?

In the sixth year you accept defeat. You buried him deep and went about like he never existed in the first place. Isn’t it mystifying how this city screams his name?

It’s the seventh year now. The alarm on your phone rings and rings and you feel like scratching your face off. It’s time to meet your damned executioner.

Rolling out of bed you open the curtains to let some light in. The penthouse from the V’s building has a great view of Pentagram City, looking down you get the feeling of dystopian sci-fi that is so characteristic of the technology district. Limelights, digital outdoors, and big opulent, oppressing screens greet you like a constellation of dead stars, long distorted from their original purpose and form. 

You follow processional routine as you get ready. Choose a beautiful dress, put on make-up, and do your hair. It all feels like preparation for a sacrifice. One thing you learned from Alastor is that appearances are the best strategy and you intend to greet your handmade battlefield like a roman legion. 

Alastor. Even thinking of his name hurts, especially today when you need to face the consequences of your actions, the consequences of his actions. He is gone, he left you. And now Vox owns your soul. You blame your fall from grace entirely on him, he forced your hand, he made you do it. Out of desperation, out of defiance, you sold your soul to Vox so he would come back and save you, so he would come back out of hatred, anger and ire to tell how foolish you were, how betrayed he felt.

Betrayal. Selling your soul to his sworn arch enemy should be treason worthy of him dropping anything he was doing to come and punish you, to address you. You just wanted to get a reaction out of him, proof that he still cared. That he didn’t just get bored of the empire of terror he fought so hard to build in Hell. That he didn’t, deep down, just disregard you like a shiny novelty, to be left when it got old. 

You dry the persistent tears that insist on falling with clinical coldness. You are past feeling sad now, you don’t even feel angry anymore. You are past any emotion really, you just want to get this over with and get back home.

You went about your deal with Vox in many different ways, sometimes you felt like it was a good alliance, a slap on Alastor’s face. A side quest to gather as much information from the V’s inner circle, a social experiment. The truth is, during these past almost four years you were a mental gymnastics pro to justify your new arrangements. The cognitive dissonance required to live with the decision of being forever tied to Vox was an herculean task and boy he didn’t make it any easier on you. He would never be as refined as Alastor when it came to torture but there’s something about the coldness and calculated reality of the television business that was it’s own type of Dante’s inferno.

As soon as he got word of Alastor’s disappearance the TV overlord was on your scent, and he wasn’t shy about it either. You dodged him and led him on for almost four full years before finally giving in, everything was more or less under control during the early years of Alastor’s disappearance. 

Until you saw the angel army leaving.

  Death and gore were all around you. The sky rained blood. You couldn’t breathe. You tried to take a step forward only to realize you were knee-deep in demon blood. Adam was particularly ruthless this time, he seemed to have realized the unbalance in Hell’s power structure with one of the most prolific demon overlord’s absence and took full advantage of it. You choked on the sulfur filled air while the portal closed and Adam threw a last middle finger at the Pride Ring. A clawed hand offered you support as you were about to fall, your heart skipped a beat, for a split second you felt elation. In that split second a thousand thoughts, four years of misery and confusion passed through your mind like a movie. You were sure this was Alastor, showing up after the unprecedented carnage of today’s reaping. With the next heartbeat came the delivery of the most cruel reminder: the hand reaching for you was Vox’s. Alastor doesn’t care about anything anymore, not even losing territory. 

The TV overlord was covered in thick, red blood and looked vindicated, a wide chesire’s cat grin on his face. Baptized in carnage, Vox had finally triumphed for the V’s.The V’s were now a force to be reckoned with in Hell, there’s no argument to be made.  A good chunk of Alastor’s territory was now under their control, and everything that came with it too. Including you. 

“My darling doe, be careful, we can’t have you hurt after the battle is won can we?” 

Darling doe.

You threw up at the casual cruelty of the name Alastor called you with such affection being desecrated by Vox. He still supported you as you spilled your guts, you’d blame it on the nerves, the adrenaline, the reeking smell of death. Not on the fact that you knew he finally won, that the thing that broke you was to hear your name like that, on your lover archenemy’s lips. After that it happened. You sold your soul to vox. Of course he coerced you into it, and you were so mad with grief and betrayal that you felt like betraying Alastor back was the just thing to do. Pettiness and paradoxical hope dripping from your lips as the whole thing was done. 

Every year this same flashback assaulted your mind as you got ready to meet Vox on the anniversary of your deal. It never went past the look you gave those pixelated eyes as he held you on that barren land, stopping right there when you made the decision that finalized your ruin. You still wouldn’t, couldn't face what really went down when you formalized your deal with Vox. Those memories were suppressed and tucked in under layers and layers of regret and self-hatred. 

You gave yourself a final look in the mirror. No makeup smudging this time, you were getting good at numbing your feelings. Just a few tears, no more sobbing.

The yearly meeting with the V’s after the extermination was the perfect cover actually, everything was done in a way that it seemed like you were all cooperating. After all, you did hold a very good knowledge of the inner workings of Alastor’s deals, subordinates and territory. You knew who the V’s could “call in favours” and how to keep the peace. Or as close to peace as peace came when an abrupt power transition happened in Hell. You were a valuable asset to anyone really. Articulated in politics, masterful at the art of persuasion, kind, soft, charismatic, assertive, all in perfect balance, and frankly, breathtakingly beautiful. It wasn’t without reason that Alastor fell for you and that you became his most trusted advisor. You and Rosie were able to conceal his absence and manage his affairs for good two years and the better part of the third without raising any suspicion. Of course, the bigger they are the harder they fall and now you were walking down the corridor of the V’s building carrying a bulk of important intel that would dictate the fate of the Overlord power structure for the next year, at least. 

The hallways of the building changed a lot since you first walked them. As the V’s grew in power, the building grew in grandeur. It was now an imposing beast, looming over Pentagram City. Modern corporate architecture that incorporated the savage capitalism of Vox Tech. Savage, cold, sterile, overbearing that’s how being inside the lair of Hell’s most up and coming trio felt. The tall ceilings and big glass windows were exactly what you would expect of a broadcasting network and silicon valley Big Tech company combined. As an esteemed guest, you got the privilege of staying in the coveted penthouses, with someone to attend to your every wish and demand. You also got an idea that Vox went a little extra with your treatment as a form of flirtation, he has been trying to convince you into moving in for a while, every time you stayed in, your usual penthouse had some shiny new thing that was  made just for you, as he repeatedly emphasized. 

This year’s token of affection was a makeup mirror-gadget-thingy, that looked out of a Totally Spies episode. You had to admit to yourself that this was way more thoughtful and useful than the gifts from the previous years. The thing was cute, practical and would come in handy, which was a big improvement. Vox had tried to sway you with all types of guns and high tech devices in vain. Well, there was also that embarrassing stance with the wire flowers with a hidden recording device. Needless to say that after that entire debacle Vox learned that he may own your soul but you weren’t a damsel in distress and you would reinforce your side of the bargain if he went too far. 

You reached the elevator and went in, pushing the button for your destination. 

The earlier you start this the earlier it is over, you remind yourself.

The panoramic elevator descended to the well guarded conference room, the guards didn’t bat an eye to you entering. You realized you were becoming a familiar face around here, that made you dread what’s ahead of you even more.

“There she is! Hello princesa, I missed that pretty face!” Valentino greets you. He’s the only one inside, sitting on the edge of the table.  Well, that’s unusual… you think. Vox was always the first to get to the post-extermination meetings, plus he always gave you a slightly early timetable so he could have some alone time with you. Something must be going on.

“Hey Valentino, it’s nice to see you too! What gossip do you have for me today?” you give your best chirpy tone to the love moth. Look, you know how bad Valentino is, he is despicable really, even to your standards. But ethics are fluid, to say the  least, in Hell. The acclaimed porn king was surprisingly engaging to talk to. He was fun and actually treated you like a person, which was paradoxical in itself, considering how infamous he is for exploiting and commodifying souls. You drove yourself mad with theories of possible agendas behind Valentino’s kindness towards you, but it was the simplest of answers really, for some reason Valentino liked you and he never denied himself of what he liked.

“You have no idea! We have a lot to catch up on, did I tell you about that bitch who was trying to spy on us?” a set arms gestures to you to sit down next to him. The next 10 minutes are spent talking frivolities with the moth. You’re not complaining, it's nice to get your mind off this dreadful day and you don’t get many. 

Valentino, as always, has a lot to say, little goes on in Hell without him knowing who, what, where and why. Information, gossip, rumors, facts, if a single out of context word can be weaponized  you better be aware that he knows. Pentagram city can be divided into districts and ruled by lots of different overlords, still, Valentino’s intricate web of influence and coercion stretches across all territories. Another poor soul manifests here and goes somewhere they should not be, talk to someone they should not talk to, discover something they should never know. All cases of “wrong place at the wrong time” are happily solved by a large sum of money from the moth and suddenly another thread is weaved into his web of knowledge, another secret  made his. Valentino doesn’t operate like most Overlords and that’s where his power  lies. He bribed and fucked his way into every major circle, every  overlord’s inner circle, Hell’s best kept secret. If you were anyone in the hellish afterlife Valentino either fucked you or fucked someone very close to you. 

Knowledge is power, and Hell’s gossip girl was proof of it.

You swallowed a lump you didn’t know existed, hearing the moth talk about how things changed in a matter of hours during the early post-war made you even more aware of the severity of the intel you were carrying. It was earth shattering (no pun intended) information. 

Angels can be hurt. Angels can be killed. That meant a completely different way of existing in the afterlife, if this information goes public, the consequences are unpredictable and dire.

You don’t feel excitement knowing you technically can fight back, you feel pure dread.

To be completely honest, you feel like these “news” are not really news. You were pretty acquainted with politics back on Earth and this whole “omg no one knew about this! even though this was staring us right on your faces! is total bullshit. Hell is ancient, the exterminations are not a new thing, and there are some pretty smart people down here. To think that millenia after millenia masters of torture and skilled killers never thought of using heaven’s own firepower against them is wishful thinking at best. Sure, maybe after a few generations most sinners, even those who have power, may have been kept out of the loop about the chick in the holy army’s armor… but not knowing this at all just feels like a pretty convenient case of collective amnesia. 

Convenient, that’s exactly what this is. It’s brutal, but that’s Hell. A scheduled massacre is a blessing to those who rule to maintain, reinforce and extend their power. And if you get lucky enough, empires will fall and you will make your move. 

Vini Vidi Vici, that’s all you need to know about how Hell's politics work. 

It’s true that with every massacre the Angel Army gets more and more brutal and unhinged. What was once justified as righteous mercy killings to stabilize the ever growing hellish population now is just a display of cruelty, these angels kill for sport. There have been rumors floating around of how the disproportional annihilation tactics are preparation for something bigger for a while now , and with the demonic royal families either operating totally off Pride Ring or being completely MIA, it is no wonder those influential enough are starting to get restless. 

And that ties back to your first point, the thing that got you picking the skin around your nails while Valentino gossips. There’s a reason why this is being revealed now, you know how creating a narrative works, a few smart words and ideas become beasts of its own. A beast of its own that will tear anything on its way with the right fuel. The V’s have fuel to spare. Whose interest is that this information stayed hidden? Whose interest is that this information was allowed to be shared now? 

Hell is constructed by layers and layers of complicated militias and parallel governance, each one a locked room of secrecy that is impossible to enter without a huge amount of connections and power. 

“In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king. And, honey, you should see me in a crown” Valentino wisely said to you once. He’s a man of many many keys, and right now you are holding the fucking master key under your arm. 

Speaking of Valentino, he notices that you dozed off and snaps his fingers, grounding you back to reality. 

“My, my. You must have extremely sensitive information today to keep you from hearing the nastiest, hottest gossip of the moment babe” He takes a hit from his cigarette, an elegant and sensual move straight from an Old Hollywood film. The heart shaped smoke rings caress your face and for an instant you feel hypnotized, nodding your head profusely. 

“But I already knew that” behind the rose coloured shades, you see a playful wink from his infamous red hot eyes. 

The porn overlord quickly snaps his head towards the huge automatic doors, that open and reveal Vox and Velvette walking side by side exchanging looks between them that scream conspiracy.

“Sorry about the wait, my darling” Vox purrs on your way, stopping behind your chair and placing his hands on top of it, fingers dangerously close to your neck and shoulder. He pushes your hair to the side and lingers there, on your neck. “but as they say ain’t no rest for the wicked, am I right?” Velvette takes her seat beside Vox’s empty chair, meticulously placed in front of you, polite pleasantries leaving her mouth. She’s still a mystery, you never know her true stance on you, she keeps you on your toes. Does she like you? Does she hate you? Does she even care? 

“If you say so, boss!” you give him your best pageant smile. “So, who’s climbing up the ladder of the food chain today?” You bat your eyelashes at him. Your performance begins.

“Aw baby, you know I love when you call me boss! keep talking dirty to me” Vox lands a wet kiss on your cheek and makes his way to his chair.

 Right in front of you, so he’s always staring at you, drinking in your every move. You cannot fail, you cannot falter. 

As much as you’ve gotten used to pretending, pretending you like the V’s, pretending you don’t feel disgusting inside for being here, pretending you don’t hate Alastor for putting you in this situation with a burning passion but still missing him so much you feel someday your heart will stop beating in protest to him absence, it’s still hard. Especially when Vox touches you. Your eyes focus on cybersharks swimming behind Vox’s seat and concentrate on keeping your awarding winning poker face. 

“This year looks really promising I will tell you that! The orders for both your weapons and tragedy porn cameras doubled since the last extermination! I will give credit where credit is due, that fuckboy Adam knows how to put on a show!” he snaps his fingers graphs, stats and footage appears on the various screens. But it’s all irrelevant, it won’t matter when you spill your secret. 

“Lot’s of veeeery interesting happenings but I thought this year we might… start differently. Let’s forget the profit talk for now, change things a little. Did you guys see anything out of the ordinary? Did something stand out?!” he spins around his Big Boss ™ chair and stops with his hand under his chin, leaning in to you like a schoolgirl with the hottest new gossip. 

“Oh! I heard things -” Val also leans in getting closer to the TV overlord face. 

Vox’s grin shrinks, lifting a finger in protest 

“We know, we know, you always hear things Val” he replies in a monotone tone

Velvette, who spent this entire time typing away on her phone, interjects 

“Look, don’t take this the wrong way girlypop” finally looking at you she asks, or rather, states the million dollar question “ but what Vox means is that we know you have something  big cooking inside those files, so let’s drop the bullshit and go straight to it” 

The doll puts her phone down, she knows how important this is, how this secret will probably dictate how things will go from now on. You can call Velvette many things, but she is clever and under all that attitude and posh accent lies a brilliant strategist. 

“Plus, we all know you are contractually obligated to tell anyway, so spill, and can make this quick and painless to everyone involved” 

Right, your cartesian, empirical proof that angels can be killed.  Caught on the scene of the crime with the gun in your hands. 

You don’t waste anymore time, the words leave your lips like you’re choking with the threat they present. You tell them everything: where the exorcist was killed, how he was killed, the golden ichor blood that oozed from the wound, where the body was hidden. Everyone is silent while you speak, even the mechanical sharks seem to have stopped swimming to listen. 

After that you don’t remember much more of the meeting, it felt like you took the backseat of your own mind, the overwhelming feeling of dread making you so out of breath. Something is coming, something fucking coming and you can’t breathe. Anxiety sets under your skin like a second skeleton begging to crawl its way out and you find yourself sitting in one of the lavish anterooms of the V’s building. 

“So, the cat’s out of the bag then” you recall hearing Vox saying when, as if on cue, a few moments before the meeting was being declared over, the emergency broadcast about the reduction of the extermination date from a year to six months was issued. You four watch the transmission and you wonder if that’s what it feels like to get the news of the end of the Cold War, the doomsday clock finally hits midnight and we are nuking each other out. 

Mutual destruction assured. 

Your mind wanders back to your life on earth, if life up there is better or worse these days. You died so young, everybody told you, your Untimely Demise a big topic of conversation that you yourself didn’t know much about. But nothing, nothing in all of your living years and your years from Hell to eternity could prepare you for what comes next.

“So the Radio Demon is back in town! Why is he hanging around? What does it mean for your family?” 

The news hit your ears like a tsunami and you feel dizzy. It’s easy to find a big screen here and you are running to the closest one before your brain can even compute the words. 

Alastor is back, Alastor is back, and he didn’t come find you.

The next sound wave is even worse, dragging you ashore to your feelings without any reprieve. 

“Salutations!

Good to be back on the air! Yes, I know it's been a while, since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast

Sinners, rejoice!”

This isn’t a prank, there are no cameras and a sadistic tv host waiting for your humiliating reaction, instead all pairs of eyes in Hell are glued to the screen watching as the two Overlords fight it out. 

Thus, no one notices how your entire body shakes and your vision goes black. It’s too much, and you grip the rails from the stairs that lead to the foyer for dear life. Your heart is beating out of your chest. No one notices how you cry, how you whimper Alastor’s name like a prayer, how the tears run down your face and you feel paralyzed. You want to run, a million thoughts per heartbeat making your head swim. The best you can do is collapse on the floor. So you do, you collapse trying to catch your breath as you plan your sweet escape, how you are going to Houdini yourself out of this situation right to his arms.

“Tune on in

 when I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run”

You want to kiss him, you want to slap him, you want to tell him how much you missed him, you much your fucking hate him. You want him to drag you to his rooms and make you pay for cursing him out. You want him, you want your Alastor back. You cannot breathe.

“Oh, this will be fun.”

and then all the lights go out.

There’s a beginning of an uproar happening, the electric building dies a quick and unforgiving death, demons run around and Vox is flying down the stairs trying to do damage control. But even he is failing to keep his composure, because he knows. Oh how you know too. 

Alastor is like a natural disaster, a shattering force that bends everything on its way with the sheer force of will. The inevitable reckoning that comes to your town, that judges and executes everyone that you love. 

And now he is here. 

You see the burning red hot pair of eyes first, their predatory gaze hold the entire room hostage, looking for his prey and then they land on you. 

The piercing intensity of Alastor’s eyes, the flickering reds of damnation itself, regard you with surprise, elation and something more. So overbearing those eyes are, they make you shiver, bearing the weight of his gaze that penetrates deep into your soul. Your soul that is not yours anymore, it belongs to the man he hates, the man he despises. 

The Radio Demon’s towering frame closes the distance between you two in five long strides, you do your best to keep yourself upright and not cower at the sight of him. He looks like Rapture and righteous torture, coming to deliver your setance. Vox knows his sentence is being delivered here and now too, so he runs, runs to you.  You feel static and an electrifying pull, metal clinking. A chain. A glowing blue chain on your neck and Vox’s pulling it tight.

“What? what the fuck is going on? what’s this?” snapping your neck quickly towards Vox you whimper, you beg. The few seconds you stopped looking into Alastor’s eyes causing seething rage inside the deer demon, ire that makes the room tremble. 

‘“Talk over the radio, that way everyone can hear, baby” Vox says straight at Alastor, like it is a shooting gun. The look on the TV Overlord is maniac, a sideway cocky smile that drips pettiness. Just because Vox clearly lost this battle, with all tvs and electricity on petagram city going dark, it doesn’t mean he can’t still forever tarnish this victory. 

Alastor’s demonform covers the already dark building in opaque, thick shadows, radio static picks up around the room like a tornado chocking the majority of the unfortunate demons that are still inside, in a desperate attempt to seek shelter. 

No words leave the radio host’s lips as he grows even taller, breaking the posh entrance of the building, debris flying down causing even more damage, the tall glass windows shatter in a million pieces courtesy of his tentacles tearing down everything on their way. The sounds of destruction and despair are loud but you haven’t been listening to the world outside you and your returned lover’s radio dial eye’s for a while. A doe caught in the headlight of his eyes the best you can do in brace for the inevitable impact that is coming your way.

In a flash of his scarlet eyes a fire ignites, the flames born from it are unnatural, behaving like a hive mind to kill and destroy.

 You always knew that facing Alastor after these 7 years would not be easy, but you never imagine your reunion like this, in the midst  of pomppeian fire, a wild raw power, the oncoming storm that is Alastor when he attacks. 

Vox knows this fight is over, his ego hurt and today’s accounts always written as a victorious comeback from the Radio Demon, nevertheless, between the three of you Vox will always know who really won, who drew the last card, had the last laugh. He did, holding Alastor’s girl on a leash because he owns her. The soul of the woman the Radio Demon dared to love is his, the man Alastor despises with a burning passion, and that’s enough for now. 

The raging flames circle the three of you and without much more flair Vox drops his act, your chain disappearing from your neck. You drop to the floor, branching yourself on all fours. You consider crawling your way to Alastor, so you can explain, so you can cry, so you can beg. You don’t know for what exactly you will be begging for: your life? his forgiveness? his punishment? you just know a lot of begging and pleading will be involved. 

But the decision is made for you.

“Run, run my little darling doe” Vox commands “Run and do whatever you need to do” 

You get up on your feet in a completely ungracious move and Alastor’s out of the room instantly. The flames never touch you on the way out, the outside world greets you: a cacophony of screams, sirens, burning sounds, the infernal orchestra that becomes the soundtrack of your life.  

“Oh, and by the way” Vox screams from the threshold of the decaying building “we just got news that your place on Cannibal Town got trashed by some wayward sinners during extermination. But don’t worry you can always come home here, come home to me!”

You do your best to ignore his taunting, and you pray to whoever is listening that Alastor didn’t hear it. But it’s futile, the pavement where he is stepping cracks a dark cloud of static and shadows trail after him. He definitely heard and felt the implications of these words. 

“Al.. Al!” you scream running after your lover. 

Fuck, you’re still in heels, and those aren’t your running heels.

Kicking the damned shoes off you run faster, you cry harder and plead faster.

When you lived, your life always felt a bit surreal, weird stuff happened to you that you couldn’t really explain. People always joked that screenwriters of your life were the most creative people alive, the thing that happened to you never happened to anyone else. You died young, with a big, full life ahead of you, but you took this as gospel to your afterlife, after all everything related to your death was a mystery to you. But the things that happened to you living or dead were a raw reality impossible to make up.

 The uncertainty of your death only fuels your resolve to fight for the life you found in the afterworld. 

“Al, wait!” you are starting to get truly desperate, you need to get to him otherwise you are pretty certain you will drop dead here and now.

 “Alastor please, please listen to me” your voice failing, you finally choking from the smoke, from the suppressed tears. If Alastor doesn’t hear you now you are not sure you can carry on after him, you’re too tired too scared. You him to save you like the damsel in distress you are right now so bad.

Alastor dramatically comes to a halt. 

“I. am. Not. Having. This. Conversation. Here.”  his voice is staggered, still. Filled with static and a murderous edge to it. His long arms catch your wrist and pull you close, flush against his chest, you almost stumble but a powerful arm around your waist locks you tight to him. 

It’s the first touch in seven years, your legs shake at the realization that he’s real, he’s here. You lock your arms around his neck, the familiar fabric of his overcoat, the soft strands of his hair, they all feel like coming home.  

Something inside Alastor snaps when he remembers, when he feels how small you are in comparison to him, only one arm securing you safely to him. Some paradoxical fight starts inside him, wild wild want, wild wild rage against tameness, the docile calm you bring whenever you are at his side. 

The world disappears for a few seconds as darkness engulfs both of you,  inside the black moving vacuum only the two of you exist, greeting each other in bloody homecoming. 

Alastor takes you back to the Hotel, landing with a low thump inside his room. For a second his hand supports the small of your back, preventing you from falling forward. After all it’s been 7 years since you shadowtravelled with him, he knows you are terribly out of practice. 

His consideration towards you only lasts this precious second thought, because he makes his way across the room, creating as much distance as he can between the two of you. Your touch disarms him, he is aware of that since the first time your hand brushed against his, the first time his lips ghosted on top of your knuckles. If Alastor is touching you he is extremely likely to get soft, to remember how much you mean to him, what you do to him, so he will be merciful. And right now the last thing the deer demon wants is to be disarmed, to show you mercy. He can feel your betrayal burning inside his veins, clouding his judgment with ire and jealousy.

Alastor doesn’t fight those feelings, on the contrary, he lets them take him by storm adding fuel to his already bad temper. That’s the only way he can face you now, that’s the only way he can make you understand. 

You don’t get any time to gather your bearings, from the corner of your eye you notice a forest. His room is bigger on the inside and has a fucking conservation area but that’s hardly the most pressing matter at the moment. The pressing matter at the moment is that you are getting whiplash from touching your demon lover for the first time in seven years and his subsequent refusal to touch you, stationing himself across the room to you.

Why isn’t he with you? by your side as you ride the shockwaves of today together? You are scared, but above all you feel overwhelming sadness. 

“How did it happen?” he finally snaps, breaking the deafening silence. It’s the first time Alastor regards you, directly, in 7 years and the weight his words bare is so heavy you wish for more of the silence. “Tell me, how did it happen?” his eyes are wild, dangerously close to radio dials. 

“How did it happen? You tell me Alastor! You left me, you fucking left me!” you wish you could be your usually articulated self, you rehearsed this conversation so many times in your mind and in none of them you started with such venom on your lips. But it has been too long, and maybe the poison from all those years alone and afraid beside Vox drips through. 

The Radio Demon sees the tears that fall profusely from your big doe eyes, and they sting more than an acclaimed torturer like him could have anticipated. Alastor finds himself still disarmed, because with every single glistening tear that falls he can see how hurt, how scared you are. He is the only one allowed to make you scared, he owns your fear.

But that’s the problem isn’t it? He owns nothing. Vox does. And that realization turns him back to feeling seething rage. 

“So my mere absence is enough to change your devotion? Is me being here the only thing that stopped you from falling into his arms?” more poison. By the end of the night you both will choke on it. 

“Al.. Al” you are sobbing now, your throat tightens and it’s hard to breath it’s hard to speak. “ I had to do it. You don’t get it, you don’t get it.” your voice breaks “hemademedoit, hemademedoit!!”. You swallow half the words, whimpering, as if you say it fast enough the action will quickly become the past, as if the memories won’t haunt you. And yet the memories flood your mind

A dim-lit room, the smell of blood and something burning.

“He is gone baby, and he isn’t coming back”

Electricity makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. 

A stranger’s hand pushes the hair to the side of your face, dread creeps up inside of you.

“This is the only way my dear, the best decision you can make” 

The same stranger’s hand grab you by the waist 

“I’m the only one who can protect you now, you know that right?”

eyes that make you freeze, it’s hard to think. eyes that make it hard to say no.

“If this is hard for you, you can pretend that I’m him” 

a wrong type of static pricks your lips 

“This won’t hurt” 

a shockwave hits your body and it feels like you are being split open

You have to steady yourself on the closest piece of furniture. You cower as the repressed memories from the night you finally gave in to Vox assault your mind, trying to make yourself as small as possible, like he is coming back to do it all again. Cries and incoherent words leave your lips and you don’t know if you actually said what happened or if this entire time you have just been crying. You entire body hurts as you hyperventilate “Al, I’m so sorry” you whisper 

That’s what undoes Alastor, you curling yourself in a ball, defeated and scared at the ghost of the man he hates. You looking away from him like you are undeserving of him, of his punishment, of his love. Like you are tainted. Alastor can’t make the exact words of your confession about how it happened, but he heard enough. Vox would never make you come to him willingly, Alastor knows that. Whatever Vox did - and Alastor has a lot of ideas of what he did - he will pay double for it. 

 Alastor’s blackened heart shatters when he calls your name and you don’t look up to meet his eyes, like you always do. He was always your lantern for when you were drowning. He meant to break you, hurt you like that. He just wanted to make you come to him, beg for his forgiveness, beg him to soothe the pain. 

“Mon coeur, my sweet darling doe you are safe” Alastor voice goes so soft it hurts “Don’t fret, it’s in the past, it’s over, you are safe with me now as you are meant to be” he coos.

Still, you can’t read your lover’s mind. So you don’t know his heart is shattered, you don’t know how much he loathes himself for letting this get this far. You are so caught up on your own feelings, reeling the rage and the memories that you miss the softness of his voice and his outstretched hard and you inevitably choke on the poison. 

“No. No!” you snap “You don’t get to say that. You have no right to say that!” you scream as you get up “I’m not safe, I will never be safe because you weren’t there to protect me, you promised Alastor, you fucking promised” the poison is now inside you, heartstopping waves of hurt consume your body and sprit. Right now the same burning passion that makes you heart beat for Alastor makes you hate him too. You were never good with ugly feelings, you always pride yourself for being soft to be strong. Your kindness and act of rebellion during the hellish reality you lived. You were never good with bad feelings, so you do something you never thought you’d do.

You shove the Radio Demon, that man you love so much it drives you to insanity. You shove him because the shame is too much, all the ugly feelings ball up inside, convincing you that you don’t deserve him, that you already lost him. And you won’t survive his dismissal. 

You never talked back to him, you never raised your voice. Not because you were afraid to, but because you never had to, hence the reason why Alastor is so taken aback that your pitiful attempt of violence actually moves him from where he was standing. 

Alastor shoves you back, pushing you up against the wall with a searing kiss. He kisses you like you are his last chance at salvation, like he wants to be redeemed. He licks your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, pushing his hips hard against your core, making you straddle him. Alastor doesn’t grant you a moment of reprieve, his lips come crashing down on yours again, his tongue inside your mouth dancing to a madman’s tune. He does what he does best, he takes and takes and takes. He takes your breath away, he takes all the callous words that threaten to leave your lips, aimed at him. 

You succumb to your demon lover, your nails dig into his skin and he moans inside your mouth, he bites your lips enough to draw blood. In the end Alastor is still Alastor, and of course he gets all hot and bothered when fighting. You feel delirious with the taste of his lips, your blood and your salty tears mixing together, an unholy ambrosia. His hardness press just the right way to make you sing creating a current of desire after a seven year long drought. 

His hands are quick, ridding up your shirt making he grab your ass and then your hips, strong enough to bruise. His clawed finger is already tweaking your nipple that way he knows you love. Your bravado melts, in perfect synchrony to when he sinks his teeth deep into your neck, drinking everything: that wretched poison that tarnished your words, the sacred warmth of your blood. You moan his name like a prayer that he promptly answers, he’s kissing you like a drowning man again, your blood on his lips painting your lips red like you both just drank from the holy grail, his hand cups your other breast and you vow to never speak to him like that again, only if it’s gonna get you up against the wall like that with him. 

And then he stops. 

“I hope this kiss haunts you” he says, voice still drunk with desire, low and threatening. He swiftly moves you off him, walking away and creating the same distance from when this all started “haunts your every breath, finds its way inside your every waking moment until you are mad with regret” 

You are bewildered, eyes widening in disbelief. What is he doing? How can he go from 0 to a 100 so fast? 

“I hope this kiss haunts you, so you never forget that you were the only woman who ever had me at the palm of her hand and you decided to throw it all away with that calamitous cynicism of yours.” 

So that’s what’s happening. You can never expect to beat a master at his own game, Alastor is still cruel when he is merciful. When push comes to shove he will always win. There’s only so far you can get with taunting his repentance,  playing with his heart laid bare at your feet, filled with sorrow and begging for forgiveness. He was ready to apologize, to dry your tears and soothe your fears, worshiping your delicious body and the ground you walked on. He was ready to admit that this was half his fault until your venom stung him beyond the realm of spoken word. 

“I understand it now, it must be hard for you to cope with your own decisions, your own failings, so you take it all on me. I hope you remember this when you come back to beg, on your knees for my forgiveness. And trust me, you will.” Of course Alastor would torture you with the knowlodge of his guilt and despair, the loss of his benevolence, the promise of desire and carnality. He will always be a torturer at heart, and you forgot that’s the first rule you need to always remember when dealing with him. 

“You’ve got your demons darling” never was your precious pet name said with such disdain. Static starts to gather around you, and in a flash his hand is on your neck

“and they all, Look. Like. Me” his voice is distorted when he finishes cursing you, there’s a tempest behind his eyes that entraps you, the burning red of his irises condemn you. 

The Radio demon is a raging fire, an oncoming storm. But he is also meticulous, cruel and calculating, if you dared to question him, to step on the grace he gladly gave you, you clearly were aware of everything he did to lull his absence. All the plans and contingencies he made to hush your worrying thoughts about him and bathe your threshing heart on tranquiline waters.

And you decided to mock it. To mock him and his love for you. 

You are crying again, but this time Alastor is fucking glad he was the one to hurt you, to reduce you to a mess of regret and tears. 

Tonight in Hell, power shifts from one Overlord to another. Sinners plan and freak out accordingly.

 But their machinations are all meaningless. 

The 7 years you spent away from Alastor made you sad, the three years spent on Vox’s side made you bitter. The V’s operate on poison, it’s their fuel. And maybe the poison drips through.

Tonight you drank the poison and it broke you.

Tonight, for the first time, the poison broke Alastor too.

[talesofely]

Filipino Perks

Pairings : Natasha Romanoff x Reader (gn, i think)

Summary : You and Natasha were assigned by Fury to get intel from a private art exhibit while you were on a date. However, Fury failed to give you tickets so now you're stuck in the car with absolutely no way to get in... or is there?

Warnings : Nothing, just one mention of y/f/n, which means your fake name. Readers' a liar.

Note : first fic! hopefully I did Nat justice. criticism, likes & reblogs r always appreciated!

★—★—★—★—★—★—★—★—★—★—★

You and Natasha were finally able to act like a couple, going on little dates without worrying about world threatening aliens or villains. But Fury just had to ruin it by calling and assigning you two on a mission since you were in the area. It was a simple mission, just get the intel from a company that SHIELD suspected to be working with HYDRA. The only hard part was it was a private art exhibit and you didn't have tickets. So that leads you two to stay in your parked car in the parking lot, trying to think of a way to get in.

"This is literally impossible! How the hell do they think we'll get in there without tickets?" You said with a groan, leaning back into the driver's seat dramatically. Natasha just chuckled at how dramatic you were being.

"Tasha, baby, as much as I love hearing your laugh that gives me butterflies every single time and make me feel like a lovesick teenager — we need a solution." You frowned, trying to show how serious you were. However, instead of helping you think of a solution, she just gave you an amused smile.

"I'm sure we can think of a way to get in, my love. Calm down." You girlfriend's reassuring tone made you pout, which consequently made her laugh.

"Maybe we can break one of the windows?" You suggested, eyeing the windows on the left side of building.

"That would cause a huge scene, детка." Natasha replied in 'in a matter of fact' tone.

"Threaten one of the guests to give us their invitations?" You tried again, seeing a young couple walk past your car towards the entrance.

"Nope."

"Threaten the guard to let us in?"

"Not gonna happen."

"I'll seduce one of the guests so they'll bring me as a plus one?"

Your girlfriend's glare was enough to answer your question.

"Okay, no, uhhh... I'll seduce the guard so he can let us in?"

"Seriously, babe?" You had to stifle a chuckle at how natasha was glaring at you.

"Then what? oh, I know! We can kill the guard!"

"Y/n. You are not seducing nor killing anyone, okay?" Natasha's tone was enough to shut you up, especially cause she called you y/n instead of all the gushing endearments she normally uses.

"Okay, I'll let you do the thinking, I guess..." You sighed, and closed your eyes, letting her think of a better solution.

You were supposed to give up and just wait for her idea when you saw one of the middle-aged guard's nameplate.

On the nameplate was his last name, Santos. Santos was a Filipino last name. Then it hit you, you can get in.

"Baby. I know how we'll get in." You said with a mischievous grin. Natasha looked at you in confusion and amusement. You looked so confident with your idea that she couldn't stop a small amused smile to show on her face.

"What is it, малыш?" She asked with a raised brow, not sure if she should take you seriously or if it's one of your unserious plans again.

"The guard. He's Filipino." You were already forming the conversation in your head while Nat just stares at you in pure confusion.

"And? I don't see how that will get us in, love." Instead of answering her, you get out of the car and opened her door for her. She stepped out in confusion, interwinding your fingers with her.

You approached the Filipino guard with a polite smile. He immediately held his hand out to ask for your invitation.

"Goodday, ma'am. Welcome to the exhibit. May I see your invitation, please?" The man looked like he was in his mid 50s. His Filipino accent wasn't too obvious, but it was there. It was enough for your smile to widen slightly, knowing your assumption was correct.

"Goodday rin boss! Filipino ka po?" You asked in a calm tone, earning a subtle confused look from natasha.

(Goodday to you too, boss! Are you a Filipino?)

"Ay oo! Filipino ka rin? Hindi halata ah? Mukha kang kano!" The man said with a smile, he reminded you of your father back in the Philippines.

(Oh yes! Are you a Filipino too? It isn't obvious, you look like an american!)

"Ay hindi po, half lang po. Fil-Am po ako, sa Pinas po ako lumaki." You replied with a chuckle. He seemed interested and kind enough to make your plan successful.

(No, I'm only half. I'm a Fil-am, but I grew up in the Philippines.)

"Ano pong pangalan niyo, boss?" You asked once again, getting ready to start the first step in your little plan.

(What's your name, boss?)

"Danilo, Danilo Santos." He confidently said, his filipino accent very evident now.

"Pwede po ba kaming pumasok? Naiwan kasi ng bebe ko yung invitation, birthday pa naman po niya ngayon." You let out a small sad smile, trying to win over the heart of the guard.

Danilo thought about it for a minute, looking at you with hesitant yet sympathetic eyes.

"O, siya, sige. Pumasok na kayo, wag nalang kayong maingay sa iba ah? Anong pangalan niyo ulit?" The guard said with a kind smile, making you instantly feel guilty for lying. (Alright, fine. Come inside, just don't tell others, okay? What're your names again?)

"Salamat po! Y/f/n po, siya naman po si Natalie. 'Di po siya marunong magtagalog, eh." (Thank you! I'm Y/f/n, she's Natalie. She can't speak tagalog.)

"Happy birthday, Natalie. Enjoy your day, ah!" Mr. Danilo smiled at Natasha who thanked him and gave a polite smile. He then suddenly leaned in to whisper into your ear.

"Ganda ng nobya mo, galing mong pumili." He gave you two thumbs up and a fatherly grin. (Your girlfriend's pretty, you're good at picking.)

"Sobra po, mahal po ata ako ni Kupido," You joked, causing him to chuckle. Natasha just looks at you confused but had a small adoring smile on her face. "Salamat po ulit, boss." You waved politely, before holding Natasha's waist to lead both of you inside. (Very, I think Cupid loves me. Thank you, again, boss.)

Once you were both inside, she stopped walking, causing you to stop aswell. You looked at her in concern, pulling her closer to your body.

"What's wrong, Tash?" She faced you with a small impressed smile.

"That was honestly impressive. But why'd you call him boss? And what the hell is a bebe?" Her obvious confusion made you chuckle.

"Oh boss? It's sorta like a Filipino culture. We use it as a sign of respect, like when you call someone ma'am or sir. It also helps when you want to get stuff done fast. It's hard to explain." You shrugged and she just nodded. She interwinded your fingers together, resuming your walk into the halls of the building.

"And bebe is?"

"Bebe is your significant other. It means, baby. Mostly teenagers use it to refer to their lovers," You snorted, laughing at your own explanation. "Like, 'bebe kita', which means, 'you're my baby'. But please never call me that, it reminds me of my highschool boyfriend, ew." You grimaced at the memory, making your girlfriend chuckle.

"What filipino endearment should I call you, then?" She asked in a soft tone, interested in the Filipino culture.

"Mahal." You smiled, squeezing her hand affectionately.

"I'm assuming that means Love?" You nodded and leaned down.

"Tinatangi kita, aking Natalia." You whispered, and placed a soft kiss on her temple. The way you said her name in a Filipino accent made her heart flutter. You smiled when you saw the almost unnoticeable pink tint on her cheeks. (I love you, my Natalia.)

"I love you, more."

★—★—★—★—★—★—★—★—★—★—★

note : the translations aren't 100% accurate since some filipino words doesn't have exact translations soooo yeah. i'm half filipino so i'm kinda confident with the tagalog lmfao. tysm for reading !

— sincerely, ely. ★

[enhafilthandfiction]

Secret naughty things you two only know about >:)

A/N : Hello! ik the title isn't that clear but idk how to phrase it, like inside jokes between you, but not jokes, like things in general- whatever read and find out :)) Inbox is open!!

Pairing : Bf!HyungLine X Fem!Reader

Warnings : some crack, sexting, dirty talk, degrading names, being horny, slight mentions of oral (f.rec) at the end.

Word Count : 900 Words (About 225 words each)

Masterlist

» Lee Heeseung «

Intertwines middle fingers with you

When you two are out, instead of holding hands like a normal couple, he tends to fuck his middle finger into your fist until you get the message and also stick out your middle finger, wrapping it around his, forming a little chain.

Sexting each other when you're with friends but both bored

He takes out his phone from his back pocket and opens your contact, sending you a cheeky message. He glances at your spaced out face from across the dinner table and you feel the familiar vibration of your phone in your back pocket. A smile forms on your face as you read the message, smirking and sending him one back.

Hee <3 - 6:32 pm Fuck baby, you look so pretty, can't wait till we get home, wanna fuck you in that slutty little dress you're wearing

Y/n-ie - 6:35 pm I'm so wet for you Seungie, can't we just fuck in the bathroom?

Hee <3 - 6:35 pm Anything for you baby, you go first, I'll come after you ;)

» Park Jay «

Wearing each other's clothes

He absolutely loves it when you ask him for his clothes because 'he has a better style' or because 'his clothes are comfier'. He loves picking out clothes for you, it makes him feel warm on the inside because you're like his little baby. He loves knowing that you're wearing something of his so you could think of him whenever he's not with you. He also doesn't mind asking for something out of your closet, always wanting to keep something of yours with him. He especially loves the fact that no one knows that you share clothes.

Eye fucking each other

He tends to stare at you for too long, just to get you hot and bothered. He won't take is eyes off of you until you start looking back at him. It soon becomes an intense staring competition until one of you breaks. You can see him smirk from your peripheral vision, feeling small under his gaze. When you break contact, he just winks at you and flicks his eyebrows up and down, a signal to what he's gonna do to you back home. All you can do is smile, and he gets your message. He loves how you two can communicate just with eye contact without anyone suspecting a thing.

» Sim Jake «

Wearing matching underwear

Every time you two go shopping you always end up coming home with a new pair of matching underwear. It could either be a leopard print or with colourful doughnuts but his boxer briefs and your panties are always matching. The benefit of this is that when you two are getting dressed, you always pick a pair of underwear together and sometimes he even offers to put it on for you. Even before showering, he prepares your pjs (which could also be matching) and most importantly, your matching underwear. He likes it because you're the only two that know about it.

Whispering dirty / naughty things in your ear

He loves flustering you, making your cheeks go red, especially when you're with your friends. He comes up behind you, pretending to innocently back-hug you, until his lips make their way to your ear, whispering things that only you can hear. That way, no one listens in to your business and it's just between you two. I think this becomes a habit for him and he starts whispering the normal things in your ear too. "You're so pretty Y/n" he whispers as his hands rub along your waist "I'm gonna fuck you so good once we get home" your friends could only guess what he's saying that's making you blush like that.

» Park Sunghoon «

Has dirty talk as a love language

Behind closed doors he calls you all sorts of insulting names, but you know that he's just adoring you and so why he calls you those names. His favourite ones are probably 'slut' or 'doll' so when he calls you that you know he's just cooing at you. He loves telling you what he wants to do to you, all his dirty fantasies involving you. You could be doing something as simple as brushing your teeth and he goes like "Bet I can fuck your mouth better than that toothbrush can" because a thought of you giving him head had just ran through his head. He also loves praising you by degrading you. "My dirty slut, taking me in so well" He knows you like it when he talks to you like that cause you can't stop clenching around him. You love the fact that he only talks like this to you when you two are alone, it's a different hot side of him.

Has codes for when one of you is horny

He suggested creating codes between you so you can know when one of you is needy. It can be as simple as an irrelevant word like 'pineapple' or 'whipped cream' and he gets the message. It could also be a whole phrase or situation like "Hoon, I don't feel too well, I think I'm sick" you say with a cheeky smile. He immediately gets the message and excuses you both from the boring place you were at, taking you to the closest private place and getting down on his knees, lifting your skirt up as he stuffs his face in your wet, needy core.

Hello, thanks for reading to the bottom, I hope you enjoyed reading! My inbox is open for emoji anons and (if you wanna be) moots! Have a good day/night and remember that ily <333

If you enjoyed this post, you can support this blog by tipping me here! Anything is greatly appreciated :)

[ykiwrite]

golden rush

description: breaking down your and jenna's golden globe awards

words: ~1.4k

warnings: none?

Sound of black nails continuously colliding with the table underneath kept you on your toes.

Well, it did for the first ten minutes.

Now it's merely a background noise.

Jenna was devoted to the computer screen that was unhealthy-distance close to her face. Folded in the chair, she found strange comfort, with head on her knees and arms trapping them. She didn't move since the nominees broadcast began. With occasional remarks of "ha, i knew it", if the guess was correct.

"You already know you're gonna get it. So stop stressing out. We don't need next 'big thing' retiring early 'cause of stress." You said fully assured.

The obvious success of Jenna's shows, movies, even her appearance brought an enormous amount of spotlight. Less to you, more for her. Although sometimes, with the very few facts known to the public about you, it felt pressuring enough just being by her side. Let alone be in her position.

You can't really wrap your head around how she deals with thousand pair of eyes prying on her daily. Just like vultures circling above her head. It was fair she feels the way she does right now. Nervous, scared, debating if this career was worth it. You did voice the concern, of course. Her answer stayed the same each time. It went like;

"You know, i'm not alone. I got you so it's not that bad as you make it sound."

or

"It's whatever. That's not more important than you."

Maybe if she was less of a hopeless romantic it would be better. But who are you to argue if it keeps her steady? Not that you are against it either.

Still, she was going through a deadly combination of overthinking and overanalyzing. Knowing well how 'Wednesday' skyrocketed, she was a guaranteed nominee for Golden Globe. It appears only you saw it that way. Fully carefree while she was timidly cracking her fingers.

"It's starting, come here." She rushed you to your feet.

Taking a stand behind her slouched form, you wrapped your arms over the shoulders. Giving her excited shake, you said " You are gonna do it. I know it."

"Why are you so sure?" She asked, turning her head to give you a wondering stare.

"I called headquarters. It's all set for your win." Laughingly, you admit the lie.

"Yeah, shut up."

If anyone were to enter your apartment right now, they would do immediate 180. First thing to encounter would be two people in the middle of the room in complete darkness, except the screen.

All ears were on the presenter's voice. Time was closing in. The sacred envelope in his hands to be unwrapped will determine the rest. By how unusually still she became, it felt like hugging a lifeless body.

You closely watched the host preparing for reveal as you angled your face near her ear. Ready to match your own voice with one coming out of speaker. "And the nominees for the category of The best actress in a television series are..."

"Jean Smart"

She sighed with a trace of regret. Her hand lost the grip on you. On the contrary, you weren't discouraged.

"Our next nominee on the list is..."

Aligning your breath, like you knew from beforehand, you whispered "Jenna Ortega". Clearly matching with the presenter, Jenna wasn't sure whose voice she heard until scenes from her own roles were shown. Signifying it was truly her.

Backing up a few steps, you opened your arms and claimed "I told you!"

Jenna was peeking at you through fingers covering her face. A smile she couldn't contain was passing the barrier. It was worth it in the end.

Coming back to where you left, inviting her into an embrace with sheer care. "I'm so proud but you already know that." You refreshed her memory and linked your foreheads together. She had her eyes closed so she had no knowledge of you secretly admiring her.

A romantic moment was cut short by the sound of her phone going off. "You should answer." Hesitant to pull away but thinking of how many people are currently wishing their congrats. You gave her a nudge towards the table.

"I should?" she asked teasingly. Moving away from you, she grabbed her phone and put it on silent. Not bothered with replying. Lastly, exiting the broadcast.

With folded hands, you watched her pace around in overjoyed manner. "First, we will celebrate. Then, you know what we're gonna do?" She asked pointing a finger at you.

Shaking your head instead of saying no, as expected she provided the answer. "We are on a hunt for your red carpet looks."

Not wise enough about what to say right now so you muttered out a confused "Why?"

"You're my date for the red carpet," Jenna told nonchalantly. Making her way over to the kitchen on a mission to grab a drink.

"Oh. No. There's no way i can go Jenna." You pointed at yourself, "I'm not famous. Besides, i can be on the sideline. Cheering on like i usually do on these events."

Half of her face blocked by the fridge door, she raised her voice so you'll be able to hear. "I won't force you but just know i really, really want you to be there in front lines with me."

Slightly taken aback by her statement, it made you weigh out options. How awful could it be? You know Jenna consistently tries to keep you out of the eyes of the media. Maybe you could thank her by being there. However, it's naturally impossible to stay unknown forever. Also, it's her first time on Golden Globe. Your arrival would break the internet definitely.

"I don't know. I mean, those paparazzi, the press. You know how they are the best. They will eat me alive." Letting your worries get the best of you.

"No, no, no." Handing you a wine glass that landed with a quick kiss on the head. "Don't go there. When was it ever important what they think?" she questioned with a heartfelt tone.

Sitting down she pulled the chair closer to you. With her legs crossing she persisted, "I just think we would kill it. Imagine the headlines," as she used her hand to point out in the air, "top ten couples right now."

Rolling your eyes you pushed her backwards. Realistically saying "Mhm, and the next thing you know they break up month after."

Pouring a wine, she gave you a side eye. "Well, if you're serious about not going i'll still have to take someone with me. Emma probably."

She knew what she was doing to well.

With a click of tongue, you gave in. "What's the carpet theme?"

Stepping out of the obscure dimness and privacy of the black fancy car wasn't something you're accustomed to. Shielding your view from the sun and brightness caused by this event. It was overwhelming. Right, no idea how she deals with this regularly.

You'd much rather watch the livestream from the serenity of your home. No need for the first hand experience but it is what it is.

Grabbing Jenna by the hand so you can secretly confess before all the high-end equipment and lunatic lip readers are on you.

"I'm not made for this Jenna."

Beaming at the sight of you, she fixed accidental wrinkles of the dress. "Me neither but we'll be fine. If it gets too much we'll step aside like i promised."

The lady led you down the arranged route that was getting more frantic with each step. Cameras were piling up just like people, staff, and press did.

Jenna's name repeatedly called over was more prominent now that you're closer to the center. Here and there you could point out your own.

"Wait, hold on." Her voice was barely registered by you thanks to shutters setting off. She reached for you to let an offer out there.

"Since we talked about edits you watch nonstop, you know what we could do?"

The distracting sounds and cheers grew stronger which added to the thrill.

"You would never do that Jenna." Thinking she's brought up the plan you made while you were drunk at home just to get a kick out of you.

She did to your surprise. The brief action of drawing you in for a kiss in front of the mass suppressed everything that made you upset.

A lover's smile spread from left to right made the room spiral into madness.

"We really did it."

"I won't let them get used to this, don't worry. I got you," she pledged connecting your arms as one.

You were, without a doubt, a topic of the day.

notes: listen there was this lovely heavenly idea but did i write it out good? not really, this looked 10x better in my head but if u still read it i owe you 🖤💌

*kept writing golden globus instead of globe, i hope i fixed all of it

[callsigndragon]

Seeing Red | Ch. 5: Used to it ✍️

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x ex-wife!Reader (Call sign: Red Queen)

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: sassy red, jake being an ass, more mav and jake being father and son, mentions of dead, some ex-wife/ex-husband unresolved tension, and... Liam's reveal.

A/N: I literally wrote this in 4 hours i was REAALLY obsessed with this idea and here it is. Comments are welcomed and THERE'S AN AUTHOR NOTE AT THE END THAT EXPLAINS A BIT SOME PARTS OF THIS BUT IT'S IN THE END TO AVOID SPOILERS.

(Whoever wants to be tagged, comment down below!)

Masterlist on pinned

When you walk out of the base towards the tarmac, you see Jake talking with someone. He seems older. Both of them turn toward you, Jake attempting to flee as soon as he recognizes your presence, but the other one stops him, both of them approaching you. Once they’re close, you remember who the other man is.

"Captain Mitchell?" you ponder, covering your eyes with your hand because the sun is shining brighter than usual. 

“Red Queen! It’s been a while. Last time we worked together, you weren’t even married.” He says, Jake groaning beside him. 

“If you told me that I would get married and divorced in the span of three years, I would have said that was bullshit.” 

“How many times are you gonna mention it?” Jake protests, taking off his glasses. 

“The same amount of times I tried to call you and text you after you left the fucking divorce papers on the kitchen counter.” You challenge him, waiting for his reaction. 

“I guess they were a lot.” Maverick adds, making Jake cover his face in disbelief. “Anyway, Cyclone told me that you were doing a dogfighting exercise, so I thought I could join." 

“Mav, did he give you the green light, or are you trying to make me break some rules on my first day?” 

“Well, maybe he didn’t agree 100%. But I want to help you!” 

You’re about to protest when you feel your phone ring in your pocket. “I’m gonna take this call and go ask Cyclone. Wait for me to come back, and I��ll let you know if you can fly or not, Mav.” 

You turn around and get inside the building, answering the call. You don’t even need to check the screen to know who it is. 

“Hey pretty boy.” 

“So… you fucked up real good, buddy.” 

“Oh yeah? I didn’t notice.” He is tempted to walk away, but then he hears Red talking. 

"Hey pretty boy" 

"Pretty boy?" Jake mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Looks like she has moved on." Mav whispers, patting Jake's back. 

"No, Liam, we can't have a cat. We have a dog, and that's a lot of work already." 

Red enters the building, and Jake stays there, completely astonished. "Who the fuck is Liam?" 

"Your replacement?" He shrugs. 

"Fuck off, Mav"

And just like he did hours ago, Mav smacks Jake's head again. "I'm not the bad guy here, son. And I don't know if you're allowed to be mad. You asked for a divorce." 

"You know why I did it." 

Mav sighs, taking off his glasses. "Yeah, I know. And I told you there may have been other ways to solve the problem." 

"I couldn't find any other one. Look, I can tolerate being around her at work. But she's gonna be friends with all the team because that's how she is, just the purest human being to ever walk on earth. I'm telling you now, if I have to see her walk in the Hard Deck hand in hand with an asshole that doesn’t deserve her, I'm asking for a relocation."

"And you think you deserve her? Jake, I know better than anyone how you feel. I let Penny slip away from me many times, and I came back many more. I just—" he looks around, as if trying to find the right words. "I just want you to remember that you vowed to be together for better and for worse. And when the worst came, you didn't tell her and made a decision by yourself." 

"You think I don't know that?" He takes out his phone, showing the lock screen to Mav. "I never changed it. I couldn’t. It's a reminder of what I had and what I lost. A fleeting glimpse of the only happiness I've ever known, and an endless torment of what I lost." 

Mav scoffs. "You sound like that guy from Pride and Privilege." 

"...you mean Pride and Prejudice?" 

"THAT ONE!" 

"Really, Mav? One of the greatest books to ever be written, and you don't even know the title?" 

"Have you even read it?" The older man mocks. 

"Yes, I did." 

"Bullshit." 

"It's true, I bought it for him," Red says, walking past them. "Get in your plane, pops. We're going for a ride." 

Jake watches Red jogging towards her plane, new letters added to the side, her name and call sign. And his last name. Seresin, in big black letters. 

“Why did she keep my name?” Jake ponders.

“What?” 

“Look." He points at Red's aircraft. "Seresin. Why is she using it?” 

“I don’t think I have a good answer for that, son. Come on, I have to fly.”

It's all good until Jake's turn comes. All of them are amazing pilots, of course, they're the best of the best. You didn't expect anything different. Rooster is the fastest to take you out. Mav explains to you how, until a few years ago, he was afraid of his own potential. You can hear how proud Mav is now, as if Rooster were his own son. In a way, you know he is. 

"Hey, Red. Can I ask you a question?" Bob mutters through the comms. 

"You just did, Bob." You laugh. "Of course you can." 

"Why Red Queen as a call sign? You don't seem like the kind of girl that chops off heads."

You laugh again, turning to be closer to Phoenix's plane. You wave at Bob and he waves back with a chuckle. "It has some resemblance to the Red Queen, but not entirely. Have you heard of the Red Queen hypothesis?"

"Not really."

"According to the Red Queen hypothesis, a species needs to evolve and adapt in order to survive because its competitors are doing the same."

"Did you evolve and adapt?"

"Yep. Being an aviator wasn't in my plans." You confess, remembering the old times. 

"And what were your plans?"

"She wanted to be a lawyer." 

"I don't think they were asking you, Seresin." You retort, moving your plane to an inverted position, and flying above Jake's plane. "If I want you to talk, I'll let you know." 

"I think you're abusing your power, Commander," he mutters, looking straight into your eyes. 

"I'm just giving you as many chances to talk as you gave me, Lieutenant."

You move your plane away, the radio has become silent. "But yeah, I wanted to be a lawyer."

"What changed?" 

"My dad died in Iraq when I was a teenager. His plane crashed. He wanted to defend his country so much that he died doing it. And I took his place."

"Adapt in order to survive." Bob mutters. 

"That's it." 

“It says a lot about you, Red. Your father will be proud.” Mav comments, moving to your right. “Anyway, are we gonna play or what?” 

“Yeah, we’re in the right place already. Okay, Phoenix, Jake, you have thirty seconds to fly away from us. After that, fight’s on.” 

“Aye aye, Red”

“Yes, Commander.” 

A tiny part of you almost feels bad that Jake has to address you by rank. 

Almost. 

You wait thirty seconds. Mav immediately goes after Phoenix, and you know he’s giving you the chance to see how Jake reacts. Instead of going after Mav to ‘free’ Phoenix, he leaves his wingman alone. What the fuck does he think he’s doing? 

“Phoenix, Mav, stop right now.” 

You see both aircrafts slowing down. “Did something happen, Red?” Phoenix asks, flying back to you. 

“Lieutenant Seresin, I want you to fly back to the base right this instant and wait on the tarmac until I finish all the exercises of the day.” 

“Can I ask why, Commander?” 

“You’re not leaving your wingman alone, not under my command. If I have to be paired with you on a mission because Cyclone ordered me to carry your ass everywhere I go, you’re not gonna fucking leave me alone so you can make some maneuvers and take the glory.” 

“Red, I work better like that.” 

“First of all, it’s Commander for you. Second, you’re gonna work as I say, cause I’m in charge here, not you. Not anymore. Is that clear?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

You whisper. “I should be used to it by now.” 

“Used to what?” he asks. 

“To you, leaving people behind. Everyone back to the base. We’re done for the day.” 

It takes all your power not to cry. The idea of being on a mission and having Jake leave you behind, just because he has the biggest ego ever known in human history, makes you shiver. Being abandoned is a feeling you don’t want to experience again. 

You spend the rest of the day in your office, working on the report Cyclone asked you to write. You don’t want to be that type of ex, but you have to write a bad review of Jake’s work. He only needed ten seconds to abandon his wingman. How has he been working here for so long? It’s a complete mystery to you. 

You’re printing it up when you hear a soft knock on your door. “Come in.” 

“Commander” 

You should look up from your work the next time someone knocks on the door. “Do you need something, Seresin?” 

“Actually, yes. I have questions.” He says, while closing the door. He takes a seat in one of the chairs in front of your desk. 

“And what makes you think you have the right to ask anything?” You question, collecting all the sheets of paper from the printer. 

“Why are you still using my name?” 

“It became mine too when you married me. Just never thought about changing it.” 

“That’s not it, Red. We both know it” 

“Whatever my reasons are, I don’t have to explain them to you.” You argue, getting up from your chair and collecting your things before exiting the office. Jake follows you, seems like he doesn’t want to end the conversation there. 

“I think I deserve an explanation. It’s my name, after all.” 

You stop in your tracks, turning around so fast that your body collides against Jake’s. You look up, all the hurt, pain, and fury accumulated over the last three years lighting a fire in your soul that must be visible to him, because he moves a step back. “Jake, it’s just a name; don’t be such a dick about it. It’s not because I still love you or whatever stupid idea you have running around in your head. It was a lot of paperwork that I didn't want to deal with. Happy? Now wait here, or do you want to enter Cyclone’s office? I heard it’s like your second home” 

You enter Cyclone's office. He told you before that he had to leave to attend to some important matters, but you could leave the report on his desk without problem. You take a moment to breathe deeply, your hands shaking with the many unsaid words that you have kept in your chest for far too long. But you know you can’t tell him what you want to. Not now. 

When you walk out of the room, he’s still there. “You’re really annoying, you know?” 

“I want my answer.” He insists. 

“Why do you care so much, Jake? You left me, you literally abandoned me and never looked back, and now you are demanding that I answer your questions? Fuck off.” 

You hurry out of the building, looking for your car keys in your bag, when you see a familiar blue car parked in front of you, a woman in her sixties helping a small kid get out of the backseat. 

No. No. No. 

“What are they doing here?” you whisper under your breath. 

“Red, wai- Charlotte?” Jake recognizes your mom in an instant. The woman in question turns around and waves at Jake with a gleeful smile. 

This has to be a fucking nightmare. You stay there, completely frozen, knowing that there’s no way in hell you’re getting out of this. You see your kid walking towards you, making grabby hands and giggling. You haven't seen him in two days, having to leave him with your mother to prepare everything in this new base, this new home... You couldn’t bring him yet. 

“Liam wait!” Your mom yells, but he doesn’t stop. He has seen someone he knows very well, but has never met in real life. Someone he has seen a lot of photos of. The man that appears in the photo frame placed on his bedside table. It’s a photo of your wedding. 

“Dada?” 

“What did he say?” Jake whispers, standing at your side as frozen as you are. 

“He called you dada.” You declare, already giving in. If this is happening, you're gonna do it right.

Liam stands in front of him, tears in his eyes, as he watches Jake. “Dada is you?” 

“I—I don’t know.” He turns at you, fear in his eyes. Oh Lord, what have you done? “Am I his dada?” 

You kneel down, taking Jake’s hand and dragging him down with you, both now at the same height as the little kid, who looks at you with a confused expression and wet cheeks. “You want to know why I never got rid of your last name? Well, Jake. Let me introduce you to Liam Alexander Seresin.” 

“Oh my god, y-you were pregnant; that’s why you-” He starts to hyperventilate. “Y-you signed the papers to protect him?”

You can’t believe this is happening. This isn’t how you planned to tell him. “Jake, calm down. I didn’t know I was pregnant, I swear, but I need you to calm down.” You don’t want him to have one of his panic attacks in front of Liam, it would scare him.

"Dada, don’t cry.” Liam pouts, his chubby hands rising to touch his father’s cheeks. 

“C-can I hug you, buddy?” 

Liam throws himself in Jake’s body, the pilot starts crying when he realizes what he had done. He didn’t just leave his wife. 

He left his wife and his unborn child. She had to raise him all alone. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeats over and over again, his head buried in his son’s hair. Liam smells like her; he’s a miniature version of her with his eyes and nose. It’s everything he once hoped to have. 

And he had missed his first steps, his first words, and his first laugh. 

Just because he thought that by divorcing her, he could save her. 

How wrong he was.

A/N: THERE HE ISSSSSSS. Yes you guessed it, Liam is Jake and Red's son. And here is the explanation you need.

Jake asked for a divorce three years ago. Like actually, is going to be almost three years in a few days (fic time). Liam is a Valentine baby. Jake asked for a divorce on May, Red didn't know she was pregnant until a few days later, when she started to feel sick. She signed the paper's almost immediately after Jake left them in their house, and gave them to her lawyer. They never saw each other again. The reasons why Red didn't tell Jake about the baby, are part of the fic so, I won't tell.

But as it has been hinted, Liam knows who his father is, Red has a picture of him placed in Liam's room, and she tells him about him whenever he wants to know about his dad. Red having Jake as her lockscreen pic? So Liam could see a pic of him every time he wanted.

Liam is now two years and a half. He has Jake's eyes and nose, but is as sassy as his mom.

More details about him will be revealed in next chapters. This is only the beginning of the journey the seresin family will be going through.

And that's all. Have a good night/day!

-Jinx.

Tag list: @purplevortexx @shrimping-for-all @caitsymichelle13 @callmemana @abaker74 @starkleila @topgunmenbefinebruh @blue-aconite @tayrae515 @alexxavicry @xoxabs88xox @mercurio23 @smells-like-perfect-senses @dempy @djs8891 @indynerdgirl @countryclubswifey @lauenderhaze @avaleineandafryingpan @poppyalice2001 @emorychase @wildxwidow @agentwayne17 @shanimallina87

[crazyk-imagine]

Gym Crush

Pairing: Benny Miller x Gym crush!reader

Characters: Benny Miller, William "Ironhead" Miller, Francisco "Catfish" "Frankie" Morales, Santiago "Pope" Garcia, Gym Crush!reader, Samantha (reader's friend)

Warnings: Fluff, cursing (briefly), gym, gym things, reader is a trainer and trains with her friend, I'm sad, I know gym things because of work, Benny is like horny but also not, Frankie is a tired old man, Santi a big flirty hoe, I feel like Will feels like he has no personality :(

Word Count: 1,959

A/N: Not gonna lie, while writing this... I had a thought. This is the first part of the non-official series/ universe for the TF boys called (in my mind) "Gym World"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The boys, Will, Santiago, and Frankie have always known when something’s up with the baby of the bunch. It’s hard not to.

It consumes him until he barely has anything left to offer. That’s why they knew this was something different.

Instead of running to the woman (he deems to be the woman of his dreams) he, instead, runs from her. Or, in better words, avoids her entirely.

Ever since they came home after their last mission, they’ve been living their lives the way they want to… or at least Frankie and Santiago are.

Will is slowly working a little more on himself, not wanting to scare off anyone else in his life like he did with his ex-fiancée.

And now, Benny’s life mainly consists of working out, preparing for his fights while working at his annoying side job as a convenient store clerk.

Today was no different for him, train and then go out for a celebratory drink.

Usually with the way he acts when he sees you, none of the guys want to come with him anymore and it makes sense since he’ll either stare while you work out and he thinks you don’t notice (you do) or glance in your direction and check to see if you’re getting closer, wanting to try and ask you out (never happens).

Will shakes his head, “you’re shameless.”

Benny hangs from the pull bar, smirking at his brother. “Better to be shameless.”

“Then?” Frankie chimes, finding himself intrigued.

“Nothing, just better to be shameless.”

-

"He's back." You move your headphones over your ear to hear your friend, Samantha better. "What'd you say?"

She purses her lips, "you know exactly what I said."

You smirk, "no I don't."

She groans and throws her head back. "Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Next is the rower."

Your cheeky attitude quickly falls from your face.

Samantha points at your fallen expression and starts laughing.

Benny hides his humor when he sees you stomping over towards the rower.

You pout, strapping your feet in, “I hate this!”

She smirks, “I know! But we’re gonna do,” Samantha pauses, thinking about how bad she should torture you. “Three reps for five minutes with wall sits as your forty second break.”

Your eyes widen at her words. “No.” You shake your head, “nuh uh. No way.” You start to remove the straps.

“I have four back-to-back clients in an hour, and I need to be able to crawl and not walk.”

-

He drops down from the bar, wiping himself dry with the towel he keeps nearby (curtesy of Will).

Frankie nods to the older Miller, “you go get him, I’ll deal with Benny.”

Will sighs and runs after Santiago who’s trying to flirt with some of the other girls around. They’re not going for it, and he doesn’t want to have to talk to another security guard because his friends an idiot.

The younger Miller takes a step forward only to be stopped. “Ben, your fights in three hours we need to go.”

“I-” he sighs, glancing back at you. “Yeah, alright. Let’s go.”

-

The next couple of days are quiet and you don't see much of “your” mystery guy, it makes you a little sad to be honest.

And then, there he is, as if he was reading your mind, he shows up with the other guys he’s almost always with.

"Guess who's back to cure you of your depression?"

You roll your eyes and shake your head, shoving Samantha away from you. “Stop it.”

She chuckles as you head out of the employee office, grabbing your phone on the way out. “I’m going to work out while I wait for my next client to arrive.”

She nods before heading out.

‘Maybe today’s the day.’ You can feel his eyes on you. You continue to think about what to do while stretching. You catch his gaze in the mirror and a decision’s been made.

Santiago smacks Frankie’s shoulder when he sees you coming closer. “What?”

The latter turns, “oh shit.”

“What’s going on with you two?” Will asks, glancing between the two of them, waiting for an answer.

Santiago points to the space in front of Benny.

He doesn’t see you there at first, focusing on finishing his last set before getting off the machine he was using. “Oh shi-”

You chuckle, crossing your arms. “Hey, there.”

“Hey.”

“I noticed you’ve been staring at me for a bit. You got something you want to say?”

If he were a cartoon, his eyes would be as wide as his head followed by a nosebleed. “It’s- it’s not like that.”

“Then what’s it like?” You cross your arms. “I’m thinking you’re planning something hinky and quite frankly it worries me-”

His eyes widen even more. “No, no. I mean- I just- I didn’t mean to…” He pauses when he sees the way you try to hide your laughter. “Oh, you’re messing with me. Awesome.”

“Sorry, it was just too easy not to. But seriously, about the staring. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. I- you’re really,” he gulps, “good.”

You raise a brow.

“I’m just saying, I don’t normally see people pushing themselves as hard as you do… or when your friend does.”

You chuckle, “that’s true. But it’s not really anything worth admiring, it’s your average trainer workout”

“Well, I can tell you that you do a damn good job. I’m impressed.”

“Well, consider me flattered. A handsome guy like yourself, commenting on my workouts, kind of makes a girl want to ask said guy for his number and make him her workout partner.”

He glances behind him before pointing at himself, earning a nod from you. “You’re serious?”

“I don’t joke about these kinds of things,” you pull yourself up on the pullup bar, something you’ve noticed he goes on more than anything here. “Which is something you’ll learn about, the more we talk.”

He’s never pulled his phone out of his pocket faster than he did right now. “You want to hand me your phone?”

“You’re gonna do this one handed?”

“No, I just wanted to try and impress you.” You jump down and smile at him.

He is more than willing to offer his phone to you. “I sent a text to my phone so now you have my number.”

“Great.”

“If I don’t hear from you before nine tonight, I can’t promise I’ll be as speedy with my responses.”

“So, I should text you now?” He jokes.

You shrug, “whatever you think is the smartest decision.”

The dopey smile on his face never leaves even after Santiago starts teasing him again. “Wow, I never thought you’d ever talk to her and look at you, you didn’t burst into a puddle of desperation.”

“Can I hit him?”

“No,” Will shakes his head, “you can’t, Ben. You know that.”

“She’s coming back.”

“What?” He whips around and almost bumps into you. “Hey, you’re back.”

“I am. I’m impatient and I want to go out with you.”

He owlishly blinks, trying to get his brain to move faster so he can understand. “Really?”

“Yeah. My friend would say I’m acting desperate and insane for asking the weird guy with a staring problem out.”

He scratches the back of his head, “you guys caught that, huh?”

You pinch your fingers together. “Little bit.”

“And you still want to go out with me?”

“Don’t read too much into it. Text me when you’re done here and when you’re free later.”

You turn around and walk away, leaving the Miller, Santiago, and Frankie speechless.

“I never thought I’d say this this,” Santiago pats the younger Miller’s shoulder. “Can you teach me how you- show me your ways, wise one.”

Benny shrugs him off, pushing him away from him. “Shut up.”

“Guess we’re done here?”

Frankie glances at Will. “What makes you say that?”

“He’s going home to shower and then call her so he can finally go out with her.”

Santiago shrugs, “I mean, I guess.”

“He’s right. If you two aren’t done, you’re on your own.” Benny throws his bag over his shoulder. “Come on, Will.”

-

You hit the call button, “Sammy!”

“What?”

“I did it.”

“I know you did; I was there.”

“I don’t know what outfit to pick you bitch.”

“How do you even know he’s going to call? Stupid question, I know. Moving on. Do you want to look slutty or a little conservative?”

“What makes me look better? Slutty or not slutty?”

“Where’s he taking you?”

“I don’t know.”

“How am I supposed to help you pick an outfit when you don’t even know where you’re going. I’m hanging up.”

“Wait- no.” You groan and are about to toss your phone down onto your bed when you get a text from Benny.

Hot Gym Guy

‘Wear something comfortable I don’t know if I already told you where I plan on taking you it's not gonna be some anything too crazy’ 4:36pm Sent Read

You smile holding your phone just a little closer to you.

Eye Candy

‘It’s like you knew what I was thinking’ 4:38pm Sent Read

‘Makes sense seeing as you’ve been watching me over the last few months every time you were in the gym’ 4:38pm Sent Read

He chuckles hoping this is going to be a good start to the date. He’s happy he kicked Santiago and Frankie out of the house now and thankfully Will had other plans.

Now he's debating calling you to invite you over or take you out to a restaurant followed by you coming over, not for anything that would be normal for his past self (as the other guys would say).

Hot Gym Guy

‘Would you rather do something fun and casual at my place or something new and different at a restaurant?’ 4:41pm Sent Read

You don’t think he has an ulterior motive because you know that he’s being genuine and asking you so you’re not uncomfortable.

Eye Candy

‘Are you a good cook because if not I think should go to a restaurant’ 4:43pm Sent Read

‘Not to offend you, I’d like to not have food poisoning tonight’ 4:44pm Sent Read

‘We should*’ 4:45pm Sent Read

Hot Gym Guy

‘I could whip up something decent and if it’s not up to your standards then we can either go out to a restaurant or have something delivered’ 4:46pm Sent Read

‘It’s up to you.’ 4:46pm Sent Read

You shake your head, even though Sammy really thought that he was creepy; turns out he’s really the sweetest guy you've ever talked to.

Eye Candy

‘Send me your address and I’ll tell you in person’ 4:51pm Sent Read

You knock on the door and wait.

The door opens less than a minute later. “Hey.”

You smile. “Hey.”

“Have you,” he clears his throat. “Have you made a decision?”

“I hope you're as good a cook as you are handsome.”

“Oh, baby. You have no idea.”

-

And let’s just say the next time you guys went to the gym (together, of course) everyone you knew was thanking all the gods that you two finally got together, until they realized that your guy's fawning was going to be ten million times worse because you’re together.

"Another day of him staring at her," Frankie comments, watching you two.

"How long are we going to see this?" Will asks, working on his bicep curls.

“I don't want to see him drool again; I'm going over towards the smoothie bar." Santiago walks away.

“I don’t know but I think we need to go back and grab Santi before he does something stupid,” the ex-pilot tells the older Miller.

“For fucks sake,” Will grumbles, putting the weights back in its place. “Let’s go.”

-

Taglist

@casa-boiardi

[frostwing213]

I love writing heroes (Super heroes especially, because I love them. Even though I struggle with action. :') ) that are just kinda assholes.

They're good people, they do the right thing, they're protectors, they fight the villains. They are a classic hero, but they're kinda mean about it. They curse, they go "You fucked up, welcome to consequences", they're not perfect people, they're grumpy, they're annoyed, they skip the whole "You can be good!" Speech, they're kind but they don't show it, they do their job and being nice isn't part of it, and they're so fun to write. Especially when it's pointed out. That if they weren't an asshole, they'd be a classic do good hero, loved by the public.

But they're not. They're gonna do the right thing and help people, but they're not gonna hold back their thoughts and opinions. They don't care about being perfect. They're just them, and they're helping people while being mean. And I love that. I love writing that. It's also fun when writing hero x villain.

And these are the heroes that don't care about perfection, or they feel bad they can't meet that perfection and go the other way. These heroes can struggle with their personal relationships, and they struggle with how other people may not see that they're good, or at least trying. They can struggle with the idea of reforming villains, or the idea that someone can be doing the wrong thing for the right reasons, or even visa versa.

This being said, I also love the other side of the coin. Cinnamon roll heroes. (Although I guess the opposite of asshole heroes doing the right thing would be cinnamon roll on the outside but their motives aren't great... But that combo would make a fun pair.... Ah! I don't need more story ideas! I'll come back to that later) I have one of my favorites as one of those and I love him. He's extremely kind, doing the right thing and helping people because he wants to and it needs to be done. He tries reforming villains, and has succeeded in the past! (His sidekick/roommate is a reformed villain) He genuinely believes that anyone can be good if they have the will to be better and support. (Actually a large part of the story is him convincing his love interest/reforming villain that he can be good if he wants to) However, this is also a flaw, because he has trouble giving up on people who just keep doing the same thing. (Like his mother who keeps returning to his emotionally/verbally abusive father. He has also ended up in multiple "I can fix him!" Relationships in the past) and he also gets it in his mind that because he's a hero, he has to be perfect, even though he's not. He has a temper, that he spent years upon years forcing down so he doesn't hurt people. He has trouble expressing when something's wrong.

He believes everyone is basically good. So he struggles when they chose to repeatedly hurt. And when he isn't the perfect person he wants to be.

Basically, I love the existence of heroes and their relationship with perfection, how other people see them, and how they see themselves. I love making their flaws such an intricate part of themselves that if they chose to try and change, they have to do so carefully, and it will be hard. I love making them black and white thinkers, then shattering that world view into grey little pieces. I love it when they don't have to, or can't do it on their own. I love breaking them, then building them back up better. I love developing them, changing how they see the world.

Being a superhero is such a unique position, and it's so fun to play with. These are people who tend to be given two options. Good hero, or bad villain. And they chose to be good (And I could ramble on about villains too, but I'm focusing on heroes rn). They take the powers they have, and use them to fight what they consider, or are told are bad. People look up to them. They're a public figure and people know them, but they also don't. They hide their true identity, so people only see one side or another. They have so much pressure on them from the second they step up.

They are expected to be perfect. And that is so fun to play with, because they will never be perfect. No one ever will be. Because of one simple fact.

They're people. People are flawed.

But heroes are told (Sometimes not aloud) that they can't be flawed. They can't be people. They have to be the hero. If they're not... maybe they're just as bad as the people they fight. (And if you wanna add a whole nother layer onto all of this, have them belong to a corrupt orgainzation)

Hero mindsets are so fun to play with, simply because the existence of heroes, and everything that they come with.

They're just so fun!

And I ended up totally off topic! (Oops! Sorry not sorry!)

(This started as talking about heroes I like writing, went into one of the heroes in one of my stories, and ended up talking about heroes as a whole and how fun they are to play with. Welcome to my brain! It's like this all the time.)

[filthyfluffyfantasies]

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 . DL;DR - this fic is not meant for anyone under the age of 18 as it contains the following: breeding kink is heavily hinted at in writer's own amateurish way, unprotected p in v -with the intent to procreate, biting/marking, petnames and dirty talk, steve's weak af pullout game, creampie and swearing. writer does not give permission for her works to be reposted, with or without permission. ✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

prompt - creampie / breeding kink

character | fandom - steve harrington | stranger things

reader | original character - female reader, roommate turned girlfriend & non -or vague, description.

words - roughly 2.9k

tagging -< taglist here >

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 . a lost little girl at a Halloween carnival ignites your baby fever. when you make this known to Steve, he does his very best to make both your lil dreams a reality. ✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆. ───

The little Fall Fest is in full swing downtown near the park. You and Steve make your way through the entrance, greeted by Robin and Nancy as the two rush over, sharing a bag of cotton candy.

❝ You two finally made it.❞ Robin laughs as she slips an arm around Nancy, pulling her closer so that the people trying to walk past can get around them a little better. Nancy looks from you to Steve, laughing at your choice of couples costume. ❝ Lemme guess..❞ she muses after a few seconds, ❝ You’re Pete Mitchell..❞ she nods to Steve and he chuckles, reaching out to take some cotton candy from Robin’s bag. Nancy studies you and as soon as she realizes that you've borrowed Steve's button up and a pair of his old gym socks, the same dark tinted sunglasses he wore frequently while dating her, she laughs. ❝ Joel Goodson?❞

You laugh and give a thumbs up. ❝ I might be the frozen version if it keeps getting colder.❞ you respond, Steve wraps himself around you from behind and as he nuzzles hair away from your neck, he drops a lazy kiss or two against your skin. ❝I won't let that happen, princess.❞ he murmurs.

❝Ugh, you two get a room.❞ Robin scolds, but you're quick to turn it around on her seconds later when Nancy is all cozied up to her as the four of you are wandering the midway.

You're waiting in line for funnel cake when Steve feels a tug to the thigh of his jeans.

He glances down and as soon as he sees the red faced crying 5 year old looking up at him in a pink coat way too thin for the weather, he drops down to her eye level. You do the same, the both of you trying to coax the little girl into a more calm state.

❝ M-my mama..my mama left me.❞ she sniffles. You go over to the food vendor and grab some napkins, sitting down on cool grass in front of her as you wipe her nose clean. Then you wipe her tears.

Steve watches you quietly. He's trying to keep his distance because he doesn't want to scare the little girl and make things worse. She's calm right now, you're doing an amazing job at seeing to that.

❝ Maybe she's just in the bathroom, sweetheart.❞ you coax the little girl but she shakes her head, dark brown curls bouncing. You glance over at Steve and motion for his leather jacket, draping it around the girls small shoulders. She’s staring at Steve quietly.

Then she steps in front of him. ❝ I'm scared. She did this before and she didn’t wanna come back but they made 'er.❞

Your heart breaks when the little girl says that. She melts against Steve and you stand. ❝ I'll be right back. I'm gonna go check the bathrooms.❞

Steve nods, standing up as he adjusts the lost little girl from one side of his body to the other. Her head settles against his chest as the last of her tears fade. And the more you see, the more you're convinced.. he will be an amazing father one day.

What throws you for a loop and has you blinking is the thought that follows immediately, I can't wait.

❝ I'm going to check the bathrooms now. Take her and go find Chief Hopper. Somebody needs t' know.❞ and with a peck against his stubbled jaw, you're gone, Robin and Nancy in your wake.

All Steve can think about is the look on your face when the little girl revealed that this isn't the first time her mother has possibly abandoned her. You were so angry that he saw your hands shake a little. He can't stop thinking about the way you sprung into action, all those maternal instincts you once joked that you don't have, taking over without hesitation.

It got him hot and bothered and now, all he can think about is the mental image formed as he watched you with the lost little girl just now. She’s gonna be an amazing mom someday. - he's a little stunned at just how easy it is to picture. I can’t wait. 

That thought shocks him, not as much as the images his mind conjures up not even a second later in response to it, but it definitely takes him by surprise.

He pulls himself out of his daze when he spots Jim Hopper nearby. 

As he's explaining the situation to Jim as the little girl explained it to him, you wander up with Nancy and Robin in tow. 

❝ Did you find her mom?❞ Hopper asks.

❝ Nobody was in there.❞ you answer, reaching out to take the little girl from Hopper’s arms. ❝ Shh.❞ you soothe her as she starts to cry again, ❝ It’s okay. You’re gonna be fine. Maybe she's looking for you right now.❞ 

Hopper clears his throat. ❝ You two okay takin her? I'll go find Cal and we'll try lookin around too. If we can't find the mom, you two okay takin her tonight? I really don't wanna deal with dragging Irene over at the county home outta bed.❞ 

❝ Totally.❞ Steve answers, earning him a grin and your body melting against his side as you lace your fingers with his and give his hand a little squeeze. You speak up, ❝ We've got her. Just let us know if you do find the mom? I've got a few things I'm dying to say to her. She's a shitty one being one of the first.❞ 

Hopper walks away. Steve shifts the lost little girl from one side of his body to the other and you lean your head against his bicep as the three of you begin to walk down the midway with Robin and Nancy in tow.

❝ I'm sorry.❞ you mumble against the shell of his ear at one point, ❝ I..I couldn't just leave her with the cops, screw protocol.. Like Chief Hopper said.❞ 

❝ Me either.❞ Steve answers, pulling you closer into his side to slip his free arm around you, ❝ Relax. It's fine, okay? I mean it.❞  he reassures you, giving you a calm smile as he stares down at you. You nod, smiling back.

❝ Thank you.❞ you mumble.

He chuckles quietly. Shrugging as if this is nothing, like anybody would do it if placed in the position. He doesn't have the first clue what's going on in your mind. He doesn't realize that his ease in doing this has you really thinking hard about everything.

❝ You okay, princess?❞ he asks, giving you a concerned look.

 You smile and nod because right now, that's all you can manage. Your mind is too full. Those little random thoughts you've been trying to keep to yourself lately are taking over. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ ･ ｡ﾟ ───

You've been quiet for most of the night. So quiet that Steve is starting to worry. When the silence in the car is too much for him, he clears his throat.

❝ Is something wrong?❞

If you say what you're thinking the thought comes, it could mess everything up. You know how much you love him. Is that a risk you're willing to take? 

Of course, the second you open your mouth, rationality flies out the window. As you look at the little girl curled into herself and buried in Steve's leather jacket in the backseat, you can't help but smile. You can't help but think that this is exactly how you want your life to be.

❝No.❞ you laugh softly and shake your head, glancing over, locking eyes with him as you take hold of his free hand. ❝ I was just thinking..❞

❝Oh yeah?❞ Steve asks, raising your hand to his lips as he presses a kiss against it, ❝ Anything you wanna tell me about?❞ he glances over, the car comes to a stop beneath the new red light they've just put in a block away from the apartment the two of you share. You swallow hard. It's the smarter idea to just say no, there isn't, but apparently your brain isn't willing to deal with logical or smart.

Not right now when you keep replaying just how good he was with the lost little girl earlier - or how amazing he's been with her since. 

❝ You’re gonna be an amazing father some day, baby.❞ the words leave your lips but it doesn't end there. ❝ I can't wait.❞

Steve coughs. This is not what he was expecting to happen, not at all. ❝ W-what do you mean you can't wait?❞

You're starting to panic. You didn't mean for it to slip out, but it has. ❝ I-I..nothing, I just wanted to tell you that.❞

The rest of the ride is quiet. As the brick building you both live in comes into view, you're resigning yourself to the fact that you might have made a major mistake. That you probably shouldn't have implied what you did and it might have just cost you the man you love.

Steve is reeling. Floored. Your words keep repeating like a broken record in his brain. And all the dumb hope he's been shoving down for months now about the way things are between the two of you.. he's starting to wonder if maybe he'll finally have everything he's ever wanted.

He pulls the car to a stop and puts it in park. You’re out so fast he doesn't get a chance to say anything, let alone everything he's dying to. He catches up to you just as you pause at the lobby door to shift the sleeping girl around in your arms. He reaches past you, pushing the door open so you don't have to fumble around doing it by yourself.

As the three of you get to the stairs leading up to the floor you live on, it hits him that maybe staying quiet after you said what you did in the car wasn't his brightest idea. He can feel you shutting down, pulling away like you tend to when you're nervous.

By the time you step out onto the hallway leading to your apartment, he knows he has to do something, he has to show you that he feels the same way.

By the time you're stood in front of the door marked 21b and digging for your key, he's determined.

❝ I got it.❞ he finds his key and reaches around you, strong arms cage you in between his body and the door, his chest pushing soft against your back. You bite your lip and give him a weak smile, stepping into the apartment. He shuts the door behind him, triple- locking it as you settle the sleeping little girl on the hand me down leather sofa his mom gave him when he got the place.

He leans against the locked door, his thumb through his belt loop as he watches you silently. He's still trying to process the implications of what you said in the car. Still trying to figure out what it is he needs to do at this point. Because he knows he has to do something.

This becomes painfully clear when he watches you wander into the bedroom you've been sharing and you emerge minutes later in one of his old shirts, his second pillow beneath your arm.

❝ What are you doing?❞ he steps in front of you, lingering hesitantly for a second until he just can't anymore and he's stepping into you closer. He's towering over you, staring down at you in confusion.

❝ I..❞ you swallow hard. ❝ I thought I should stay in here tonight..with her.❞ it's not a complete lie, but you also know that Steve’s bed is huge, it'll easily fit the three of you.

❝ Wanna try that again, princess?❞ he's smirking and he might look calm but on the inside, he's anything but calm right now. ❝ Talk to me.❞ he coaxes, tucking a thick digit beneath your chin to get you looking up at him when your gaze drops. You take a deep breath or two. The pause stretches, it feels infinite for him and he can't handle it.

❝ Did you mean what you said?❞ he asks, staring down at you intently. He sees the way you start to fidget and shuffle your feet and he knows you're nervous. ❝ Because you..you can't just say stuff like that, princess. Not if y' don't mean it.❞ he doesn't tell you that the reason is because his own dreams, six little nuggets and a house full of love and laughter, not silence and emptiness, are at stake here.

He steps into you even more and your knees brush the sofas edge. If you weren’t so scared you made a huge mistake earlier, you'd definitely be soaked right now.

❝ What if I did, huh?❞ you finally respond. 

He fucking melts. He's all over you, his hands and mouth anywhere he can get them. ❝ We don't have to wait, y'know,❞ he mutters against your skin as he noses your hair out of the way and nuzzles his nose against your warm,soft skin. ❝ I don’t wanna wait, princess.❞ his hands fall to your hips, squeezing. 

The love in his eyes as he stares down at you is enough to make your breath hang as he pulls you up his body, his mouth devouring, his tongue dominating yours as soon as its parted your lips. ❝ I don't want to wait either.❞ you admit as the kiss breaks. ❝ You were so,so good with her tonight, baby. It was hot.❞

❝ Watching you take control like that..❞ he mutters ❝ It was so fuckin hot, princess.. the way you were takin care of her…❞  and then he's carrying you down the hall. 

Your back hits the door of the bedroom you share with a soft thud. You wrap your legs around his waist as one of his hands settles on your thigh, squeezing as he melts into you, his face buried in your chest. You tug at his hair and rock into him, grinding against him. He’s panting, looking up at you breathless. 

❝ I wanna fuck a baby into you, princess.❞ he mumbles as he pushes open the door to the bedroom and steps in. The two of you are peeling each others clothing off in a rush, his mouth all over you as he drops you gently onto his bed and wastes no time parting your legs, pulling down your panties and pausing to suck a line of hickies right up the inside of your thighs. 

You're writhing beneath him, moaning his name like a prayer as he lowers his mouth, paused to gaze up at you as you slip your legs over his shoulders and the warmth of his breath against your sensitive sex has you tugging at handfuls of his hair and whining in need, rocking your hips up for him because you're that desperate for the way his tongue feels buried inside you.

Tonight is only the second night he'll have ever entered you raw and the more he thinks about the way your pussy will clamp around his thick cock too perfectly, the more he wants to bury it inside you.

❝ You’re gonna be such a..❞ he bites at your pelvic mound and his tongue drags a stripe right up the center of your dripping hot sex, ❝ –ah fuck..such a hot mom, princess.❞ his tongue buries inside you and your head falls back against his pillow as one hand pulls at his hair and the other one grips the blanket beneath your body. fingers join his tongue, pushing into you, stretching you out and you shiver at the way his tongue and fingers work together perfectly as your orgasm builds, almost to a blinding intensity.

❝ Just thinkin about it makes me wanna cream myself.❞ he pauses to look up, admire the way he has you poised on the edge, begging to shatter.

❝ Steve, baby, c'mon.❞ you choke out breathless,❝ Fuck me.❞

He can't wait another second. He raises up, licking his lips and groaning at the way he can taste you on his tongue. He lowers your legs, lowering himself down into you. He groans ❝ – fuck. oh fuck. you're so tight. ❞ quietly as he sinks in so slow you feel every single inch, every vein on his thick length. ❝ feels s' much fuckin better like this, princess.❞ he growls quietly,❝ y' so good. Good girl.❞ as he starts to fuck into you all over again, slow and relentless, your body pinned beneath his,❝ You’re gonna be s' full, fuck. ❞

❝ Steve, – oh fuck. Right there.❞ your nails drag down his back and he shivers at the way they feel, digging against his skin.❝ Don't stop, don't stopdontstop.❞ you're begging for it, desperate to feel him fill you full. You cling to him as your orgasm takes over, the fucked out look in your eyes has him laughing, husky against your ear, ❝ --fuck. Y' ready for it, princess?❞ as he melts down into you, his thrusts clumsy, the beat of his hips against your own nearly bruising as he fucks through his orgasm and comes undone, hot seed painting your insides. Dripping out until he starts to slowly fuck it back into you, his mouth latched against your neck.

He falls to the bed beside you and you roll onto your side, your face against his chest as he wraps his arm around you.

❝ Baby?❞ you break the silence after a few seconds.❝ Yeah?..❞ he asks, gazing down at you. ❝ Can we talk to child services about taking her in?❞ you ask after lying there a second or two, coming down from post-orgasm bliss.

He chuckles quietly. Smiling to himself in the darkness. ❝ I was already planning on it, princess. I can’t believe her mother just abandoned her like that.❞

❝ Me either.❞ you slip your leg over his hip and press a sleepy, sweet kiss against his lips as you snuggle against him. When you both slip out of bed at the same time, with the same idea - to go check on the little girl, the two of you share a quiet laugh. You follow Steve down the hall and out into the living room and watch as he scoops her up in his arms and you smile to yourself in the dark.

Steve Harrington is going to be an amazing father to your kids one day.

[saintmurd0ck]

RHI!!! A million congrats on 2.5k, I can't think of anyone who deserves it more 🥰 and so glad you're back and feeling ok! For the train, I'd loveee to take a trip to 86th st with Mikey Kinsella and “please, for the love of god, shut up for once.” “why don’t you come over here and make me?” i think the way you write it would be SO gorgeous and interesting ❤️ and also because im a slut, i just know id LOSE it over a stop at Heuston Station with Fratt x reader and ❛ you want gentle? wrong fucking address. ❜ Anyways I'm so so excited to read everything you do for this event 🥰 congrats again!!

all fired up

join my sleepover | main masterlist

pairing: michael kinsella x reader

warnings: amanda slander, a tiny bit of spice (minors DNI), aggressive michael / reader, yes we're a little mean but dont worry he gets the upper hand ;)

a/n: christie my gorgeous, thank you so so so much for dropping in 🥺 i hope you like this one, and i am gonna post the fratt request in a separate ask >:) btw i am amending the prompts to better fit the characters i am writing for, so i hope you dont mind xoxo

Michael’s silent rage simmers in your periphery as he leans against the wall like a fallen angel, gritting his teeth, letting his chest rise and fall in short, controlled bursts. Everything in the room is setting him off: the clicking of your pen, the faint hum of the air-conditioner, and the distant noise of traffic from the main road. 

Unfortunately for him, you’re far from caring today; not when you’ve scraped together the business proposal of a lifetime. One that could easily retire you in the blink of an eye.

You’ve worked your ass off to coordinate this, so isn’t it only fair that Michael, being the other major stakeholder in this business, quits his grumbling? It’s as if he can’t — or won’t — comprehend what this means if this works out. If you negotiate your way through this successfully, with Michael there or not, the Kinsellas land on top. They’ll control Dublin, and possibly the whole of Ireland, with opportunities to plant roots and spread vines across all the major networks in Europe. And as you’re the only decision maker not married to — or even fucking — anyone in the family, you’ve had to prove your worth, a thousand times more so. Simply being Michael’s closest friend and confidante didn’t sit well with the others, but you’ve made yourself far more capable than anyone in this business. 

And this deal will cement you into the Kinsella hall of fame. 

You cut a glance to where he’s standing, a momentary pang of empathy softening your expression. He’s exhausted from today, and it isn’t just the circles under his eyes that demonstrate it. You know his tells better than anyone; in fact, you know him so well that just by judging his body language, you can deduce who he’s been with, what he’s been up to, and what he tries hard to conceal. Right now, and at your disdain, you can see Amanda written all over him. It’s obvious in the way he’s carrying himself, with his chin pointed downwards, the tension almost shrugging his shoulders. Even his skin gives it away, from the warmth in his cheeks to the flush at the tips of his ears. 

“Let me guess,” you sigh, breaking the silence, “Amanda thinks you’re not doin’ a good enough job, and you shouldn’t be workin’ with me?” Saying her name is enough to set you off, but you do your best to diffuse the situation, to bring Michael back to the present. 

His eyes flick to yours at the mention of her name, and you grimace inwards at the sharp stab to your gut. “Somethin’ like tha’.”

It confirms what you suspected; that he and Amanda had met up today, for purposes you try not to burden yourself with. It isn’t your business what they get up to, or how many times you notice her silhouette beyond the frosted glass of his front door. 5 times this week, and it’s only Wednesday, you think, chewing on your lip. 

Unease courses through your veins, and so you go to do what’s natural, and sweep the thoughts under the proverbial rug in your mind. You gesture at the mountain of paperwork in front of you. “Are you gonna help me, Michael?”

His only response is a delicate muscle feathering in his jaw, and for some reason, it sends a lick of angry heat up your spine. The deadline to the deal looms in front of you like a ticking time-bomb, and all he can do is stay silent, and God forbid, mope about Amanda?

Your mouth thins as you take a moment to decide if you want to add to his anguish. To deliver an insult worthy of his attention. There’s a rush that flows through you, a sick kind of satisfaction, that tug the corners of your mouth upwards. If it were Eric, or Jimmy, or even Amanda, he would’ve lost his shit by now. He’d probably have stormed out and sulked home, making sure his gun was accessible from beneath his jacket at all times. His heart would thunder in his ears, itching for a fight with some unfortunate soul who’d then be promptly taken out by none other than the Magician. 

Your voice rings out across the room, coming out more confident than you’d played out in your head. “She refuse to blow you today or what?” 

Michael’s brows furrow together. “What did you say?”

“I asked you something, Michael. Are you pissed because Amanda didn’t open her legs for you?”

His mouth twists into a sneer. “I’d stop talkin’ if I were you.”

But you return his glare, your blood thrumming with challenge. “Actually, I commend her for doin’ that. ‘Cause I wouldn’t want to fuck someone so miserable either.”

He’s in front of you in a couple of strides, seething cold fury as his voice drops an octave. When he talks, his breath fans your face. “I said stop fuckin’ talkin’.”

You swallow, feeling your chest heave as some unchecked part of you — the part that’s scared of no-one — takes over. “Or what?” You pout, cocking your head to the side. “Are you gonna run back to Amanda and tell her how mean I’ve been to you?” 

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up,” he spits, grabbing you by the collar, shoving you until the back of your thighs press up against the desk.

Your retort comes out just before he lowers his mouth to yours. Just before he wedges his thick hand between your legs. “Why don’t you make me?”

[drabbles-mc]

One more for the Dirty A-Z headcanon game please💜💜

G for Gilly.

Break this one allllll the way down please! I have thoughts and opinions but I REALLY wanna hear what YOU think. 😜

Girl I hope you know that by answering this I am AUTOMATICALLY uno-reversing this right back onto you and you gotta tell me all YOUR thoughts 👀👀👀

Ramblings under the cut for: G - Group sex (would they have a threeway? four? an orgy? do they put on a show for spectators? or do they like to keep it just between them and their partner?) 

I think that Gilly will do damn near anything for his brothers. NEAAAAAR anything. But I can't picture this possessive man being willing to share like that. Call it jealousy. Call it selfishness. Call it whatever you want Gilly isn't gonna care as long as it means those boys don't lay a hand on his girl. 😂

I just know that Gilly has that jealous streak in him. I know he gets mad about it even when he knows better. He's protective and he's smart for that because lord knows he's not the only one who sees what he does when she walks into a room. Those other guys can look and eat their lonely little hearts out and Gilly will happily let them. But no one other than him gets hold her, kiss her, touch her, take her home. He earned that right and he'll make heads roll to keep it.

Gilly might not share. But putting on a show???? Maybe even a little retaliation??? Rubbing salt in the wound of some guy who got out of line and thought he had a shot???? Now THAAAAT is something I could see Gilly doing. Not a common practice but a very rare and very effective punishment.

The first time it happened, his girl had no idea what was coming. She could feel the tension radiating off him, his breath against her ear and his fingers digging into the flesh of her hips as he said, "Let me prove a point." And she nodded, agreed, but she didn't realize that Gilly proving a point was going to end with her bent over the pool table in the clubhouse with her shorts around her ankles, Gilly's hands on her hips like a pair of vices as he drove into her from behind.

That was how some hot-shot wannabe from some other charter who got a little too close and cozy with Gilly's girl suddenly found himself in the middle of a situation he did not bargain for and that he couldn't escape. Whether he was frozen more out of shock or fear was anyone's guess.

And if it all hadn't been enough already, when he could feel her getting close, one of his hands slid up and around her throat. He pulled her up so that her back was flush against his chest. He felt her trembling on the edge and applied just a little more pressure around her neck. His voice was low and lethal as he said, "Go ahead— look at him when I make you cum." And of course she did exactly as he said.

After it was done, and Gilly had dismissed the guy with an extremely annoyed, "Now get the fuck outta here," he checked in with her, made sure she was okay. She was redoing the zipper on her shorts when she let out a breathless laugh and admitted, "When you said 'prove a point' I thought you were just gonna beat the shit out of him." Gilly laughed and reassured her, "Oh, I'm gonna do that too."

ANYWAYYYYYYYY I'm never gonna be normal about them ever again!!!! And it's all your fault!!!!!

Dirty Headcanon Game

[venus-is-thinking]

Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 13 - Venus)

Recap: Yul's Elimination (8/9 pts)

Total Points: 8/9

Well, I sure did rank those powers! Not bad for a first week, I think. Yul's elimination was pretty obvious, but I did think it was possible to likely that we'd set up some other plotlines with some other characters BEFORE getting rid of Yul.

Instead, the Yul plot thread is over, and other than the Alec/Riya kiss, we don't have that many active plot threads. We're probably gonna start some new ones this episode! The scary thing is that if we're starting the plot threads next episode, I have, like... almost nothing to go off of for this week's power rankings. I'm not even good at trailer analysis like Accirax, soooo... good luck to me, I guess.

Anyways, here's my best shot! I fully expect this to be my worst week this season!

1: Gabby

I really struggled with where to put Gabby. She and Grett just completed a major friendship plotline, so like... where to?

I don't really think either Grett or Gabby will go down this episode, just because I think it'd be nice to have a full episode of them getting to be friends without Yul being there without one of them getting kicked out at the end. Sacred space. Plus, if you roughly assume the heroes are still working together, as are Alec and Riya, Gabby and Grett might be swing votes. I assume they'll be working together, but there's reason to believe the pair might go in either direction. That gives them power, at least in the short term.

2: Grett

However, unlike Gabby, I think Grett is more at risk of going home. Grett's arc this season is clearly about breaking free from needing Yul's approval and finding a genuine friend in Gabby. I think it would be sort of fucked up to have her realize Gabby is the friend she always needed and then IMMEDIATELY cut that friend out of the game, leaving her alone again. Plus, I'm not sure exactly what Gabby's arc is, whereas Grett has pretty clearly completed hers.

That being said, I'm only barely putting Grett in the bottom half. I still don't really think she's going home for the reasons I mentioned in the Gabby section. I could definitely see her going soon, if she's not intended to be an end gamer, but I definitely also think she could be. Grett as a final 3 pick with Gabby on her bench feels really viable to me. I even think she could win, if they wanted a pretty thoroughly redeemed villain.

3: Jake

When in doubt, hopefully my winner pick is safe.

I just feel like Jake's been set up to have more character to arc! He's definitely getting better about working with other people and not being incredibly paranoid and all that, but he's still got some room to go until he finishes his arc.

It seems like he's fighting with someone (could be literally anyone lol) in the trailer for this week's episode, which also means that he's not above bickering or anything. He's still Jake.

Basically, that's a long way to say that it seems like this season has big plans for Jake, and I don't think they'd take him out with little enough setup. I do worry a LITTLE bit putting him so high, just because there's probably a lot of people who'd be willing to vote Jake, but I just don't see it happening from a narrative perspective.

4: Alec

My list, my rules. Alec is GOING to go further, trust me bro.

In all seriousness, I don't think Alec would go home this upcoming episode. He's spent a lot of the season being a successful mastermind, and it seems like last episode kicked off his cringefail loser arc. I think it'd be sad to only give him two episodes to be a cringefail loser, plus it might be a little unsatisfying if he just... leaves off there. Obviously there'd still be the losers' motel; similar to how Ally and Hunter wanted to work things out off screen, it could make sense if, say, Alec and Riya got to talk without the cameras being on. Still, I think Alec's got at least a few more episodes in him.

Obvious cons: Alec is a super big threat (he won like 3 challenges in a row and probably only lost last challenge because he didn't claim a superpower) and is running short on allies. I'm kind of assuming the villain/hero dichotomy is largely dead after last episode, and I don't know how much loyalty, say, Grett and Gabby would have if they're not bound by the alliance. Alec is also seen talking to both Connor and Riya in the trailer, which could be a good way to tie up some of his loose threads.

Whatever, he hasn't failed me before. Just win immunity again or something.

5: Connor

Still cannot shake the unshakable feeling that Connor has More To Do. He once again wasn't super important last episode, so everything I said last time about him needing to do more to justify being the returnee still holds. This time, he's at least talking to Alec, which probably means development for both of them. He'll also probably be very cringe in the seemingly TikTok themed challenge, so there's that.

As with the two above him, I'd be a bit worried about Connor pulling votes again, given that he was the previous target of the villains. However, I don't REALLY think anyone heroes side would vote for him, meaning that he shouldn't pull a majority of the votes, at least.

Additionally, I think it's very possible he'll be a major part of Alec's way back into the game (possibly mixed with some kind of redemption arc for Alec?), which means that he'd need to stick around a little longer. I definitely feel like we're about to enter the Connor plotline zone, which means he really should have a couple more episodes in him at least.

6: Ally

I still don't really know what to do with Ally. I continue to put her third from the bottom, just because there's less reason to actively put her higher in my mind, but there isn't really anything that pushes her towards the very bottom either.

I am excited to see what Ally's up to this episode, because if the challenge does have to do with social media, I'm expecting it to be something along the lines of "whoever gets the most likes wins the challenge." Based on her obsession with whether or not the viewers like her, that certainly seems like it'll do something.

I also have this crack theory I only half believe that Ally could join up with Riya and Alec if she sees that, like, the villains are more popular on social media or something because they're taking the game more seriously (which I'm pretty sure was what she got criticized for not doing last time). That would help capitalize on Riya setting that up earlier while also giving Alec and Riya a way to not necessarily get straight swept. If that's the case, I'd bet on a Riya immunity win, which further highlights the popularity of the villain character she portrays.

I don't super believe that theory, though, so who knows what Ally's doing! I just want to record it on the off chance that it's how the story actually goes.

7: Aiden

In my mind, Aiden and Riya are both in danger as people who made the finals in their original season. I feel like either of them being a losing finalist again wouldn't have much spice to it, and I don't really expect either of them to win. Additionally, Aiden and Jake seem to have fully made up at this point, their collective immunity win last week serving as a good symbol of that, so I could see Aiden getting cut.

My vision for the next couple episodes is that we're transitioning from the midgame to the endgame. As a result, the people who will be in our top 5 or 6 or so and have plot significance as the finalists are being picked will be getting new plotlines, and people whose plotlines are already more or less resolved will be at risk of getting eliminated, just kinda because. Aiden definitely feels like he could be cut in that group to me.

The big thing with Aiden is just that I'm not sure exactly where the votes come from. I do think it could be nice to take out a hero, just so that it doesn't feel like Alec and Riya are both doomed, but it's also obviously possible that one of the two of them will go down and the other will have to play in isolation for a little while.

I think the most likely way for an Aiden boot to happen is either a clutch immunity totem from, say, Riya, who would probably want to eliminate Aiden or Connor if she has her full shot, or if Ally does flip to join Alec and Riya. I think Ally would probably rather target Jake, but whatever.

8: Riya

I am by no means confident in a Riya boot, but when I assess the cast, it makes the most sense to me by far.

I think both Alec and Connor are going to make late game (if I had to lock it in right now, I'd say the final 5 are going to be Alec, Connor, Jake, Ally and either Gabby or Grett, meaning that one of Gabby/Grett, Aiden and Riya will collectively make up our next 3 boots). However, leaving Alec, Connor and Riya around is just... a large percentage of people to remain in that group. Similar to how Tom got eliminated when it was about time to cut one of the Aiden/Tom/Jake trio, I think Riya is the most expendable of the Alec/Connor/Riya trio.

She could easily get a lot of votes if we are in a weird in-between period of alliances, just because she is pretty problematic and a lot of people would be willing to vote her out. It's true that Grett might still be somewhat aligned with her, since Riya defended Grett from Yul, but I don't think that's something she can bank on, at least.

I also think it would be interesting to see how Alec and Connor move forward alone, as two people that Riya rejected romantically in favor of the game and her camera appearances. Assuming Riya refuses to budge on that for the rest of the season, which I am, I don't think she has much to say to Connor, and after talking to Alec this episode, I can believe she wouldn't have much room to grow in her relationship with Alec with the cameras on, either.

I definitely think Riya could win immunity here; I honestly think that timeline I discussed with Ally is probably her best bet. Though, barring anything weird, I still think she's the most likely so far.

[leviathanlazarus]

Smother the Flame in Your Heart - Part XXI

Read previous parts here or read on Ao3 // Playlist

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka

Word Count: ~1800 (I know it's super short, I'm sorry)

Warnings: none <3

No, I'm not dead. Your girl's just been going through it for a while and is now just beginning to try and get herself out of this dreadful creative slump and series of poor decisions that are making her already tumultuous mental health and circumstances worse. No, this fic is not done! So I hope y'all are still with me and I hope you enjoy <3

---

“I seriously can’t believe you got away with it.” Josh’s face was still stuck in disbelief when he said that to Jake, but when his twin looked back at him with some disbelief and undeserved innocence of his own, Josh smirked and shook his head. “You’re such a scoundrel. Just couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

“It’s really not funny,” Jake protested, sighing and turning away to look out into the trees. The porch around him harbored so much scandal and discourse, he thought, that it should become some kind of historical marker. “Because no, I couldn’t help myself. I put myself in the line of fire just to <i>maybe</i> get what I needed.”

“And I thought I was dramatic,” Josh said, leaning back in his chair with a matching sigh. “You should praise every god known to mankind that Sam didn’t destroy you, and that Danny still wants to be your friend.”

“Trust me, I’ve been doing that.” 

Jake caught Josh shaking his head again in his peripheral vision. “I also can’t believe I missed all of this.”

“It was probably for the better. It felt like a lot to…process,” Jake said, looking up at the gray-blue sky now. “You would have made me doubt my choice. I had to just go for it. Take the risk.” At that, Josh gave a little hum. 

It was the weekend and Sam was with Danny, of course, and Jake’s whole world still felt a little empty even though everyone was getting on good terms again. He missed Danny. He missed Sam, too. Things were going to go back to normal–he knew that–but he was eager to get to that as quickly as possible. The feelings of guilt and shame that kept following him nagged and tormented him. Ironically, it was now only when he was spending time with Sam and Danny that he felt those feelings leave him alone. It was when Jake was by himself that all the memories crashed into him like a tidal wave. 

“And how are you now?” Josh pressed gently, looking at Jake so intently that he had to look right back. “Really?”

“Better.” Better was true–saying “good” or anything beyond wouldn’t have been as accurate. “Seriously, when I saw the two of them outside–out here,” Jake went on, waving a hand over the deck. “And heard what they were saying, it just finally clicked, y’know? Danny loves the fuck out of Sam. I’m never gonna be a part of that.” He sighed again, averting eye contact for a second. “It was all just a fantasy.”

After a brief pause, Josh said, “Fantasies can still feel very real to us.” Jake let those words hang in the air–his twin wasn’t wrong. But then Josh asked, “Are you now–or I guess were you ever–in love with Danny after all this?”

Jake had to chuckle. He really could be such a romantic–so caught up in those fantasies, in those feelings, that more often than not only came from stories, not real life. His imagination frequently ran wild while his reality felt so tame. Maybe the fact that Danny and Sam <i>had</i> achieved a fairytale romance beyond anyone’s wildest dreams fueled Jake’s own fire. If fantasy could be reality for someone else, it could be for him. Just not with Danny.

“I don’t know if I ever was. I’d like to say I wasn’t to, you know, save myself being even more embarrassed,” Jake confessed. “But if I was, I’m not now. The spell’s been broken. Fucking finally.”

Josh leaned over his chair and stretched an arm out, extending his hand to pat Jake’s shoulder. “Fucking finally is right. You’d been torturing yourself for quite a while there, Jake. Your heart deserves a break.”

Jake knew it did. The past seven-ish months had felt like a lifetime–he was embarrassed he’d wasted so much time yearning, pining and lusting over Danny, but what was done was done. All he could do now was move forward with what would hopefully be a rejuvenated friendship.

Sick of talking about himself, Jake turned his attention to his twin. “So have <i>you</i> ever been curious about him?” he pressed, raising his eyebrows and grinning. “Be honest, Josh.”

“A bit, absolutely,” Josh said quickly and easily. Jake sometimes envied Josh’s utter lack of self-consciousness and shame. He smiled a bit, a secret little smirk that made Jake even more curious. “I wondered, like you, what it would feel like. What Danny would <i>be</i> like during the act.” He winked as he added, “But I never thought about anything beyond that.”

Jake scoffed. “I don’t believe you.”

Josh cackled as he sprung to his feet, holding his empty can of La Croix and grabbing Jake’s. “I know better than you to never mess with our little brother,” he chirped, and Jake managed a scoff and a swift, light kick to Josh’s thigh before he could get back inside the house. 

-

On Sunday, Sam made a conscious effort to help Danny clean his apartment. In all his bliss after the storm, he hadn’t even realized what a mess it had become. He hadn’t noticed that it was also almost entirely because of him alone, not until he woke up earlier than usual, stretched like a cat beneath the covers with his eyes still shut, then opened them to see Danny quietly, discreetly picking up dirty clothes from the bedroom floor. 

So Sam helped with that first. He sprang into action, tearing his own sweaty, stale clothes out of Danny’s hands, properly dispersing them into hampers and bags. He made the bed next, something he never did at his own home, and remembered why–it wasn’t fun, nor was it even that easy. Danny’s king mattress made it a challenge to get the fitted sheet taut across, but Sam refused any help even when his doting boyfriend offered, of course. Instead, he shooed Danny away, then soon heard vacuum begin to run through the whole place. But Sam was insistent on cleaning the kitchen counters next and doing the dishes himself, which meant Danny felt obliged to tackle the bathroom once the vacuum was full of dust and crumbs. 

By sunset, the apartment was spotless–as far as Sam could see, not a single crumb or molecule of dust remained anywhere and everything was back to being organized and orderly, just like Danny liked. The benefit of not growing up with brothers, Sam thought to himself when he opened the only remaining shut window in the living room, basking in the warm breeze. 

Summer was always his favorite season. What would this new summer hold for him and his beloved? They’d had such a rocky start, caught in the gloom and fog of dreary autumn and even more muddled and misty feelings–Sam, caught in the mystic whirlwind of someone so unbelievably new. Danny, trying to pull away for no one’s sake, not even his own. 

Sam knew he was blessed as hell to have gotten him. 

“Wow,” Danny said as he sank down on the couch next to Sam, gazing around at his spotless living room. “I haven’t seen this place so clean in a while.” He pulled Sam into his side and kissed his temple. “Thanks for helping. You didn’t have to do that.”

Sam let out a haughty laugh, clearly entertained by those words. “Fuck yes, I had to! Most of the mess was mine.”

Danny laughed too, low, sweet and soft in Sam’s ear. “Messy boy,” he purred, nuzzling his nose into Sam’s hair that still had the lingering scent of weed from their afternoon break in the cleaning. “I don’t mind.”

“I don’t know if I believe that, Daniel. You just like being nice to be more than honest sometimes.” Sam giggled when Danny’s nose, then lips, touched his neck. “Right?”

“Only sometimes,” Danny agreed. Truly, he didn’t mind Sam’s messiness–not so much anymore, anyway. He’d gotten used to it. But more than that, he’d take some clutter and extra dust if it meant having Sam around, period. 

Sam was settled against Danny’s chest while he flipped through Netflix, browsing the seemingly-infinite titles. He was more entertained by the soft, rhythmic thud of Danny’s heart beating and the dirty thoughts roaming around in his mind than any of the options on the screen–the quiet was only interrupted when Jake came to mind again. Nothing bad, just Sam suddenly pondering what it would be like at home the next time Danny slept over at his house.

But really, Sam went on to think, letting out a little sigh as Danny played with his hair, what <i>would</i> it be like? Would there be tension and awkwardness? Would he feel insecure? Would Jake try to do something?

Nah, Sam concluded silently to himself. It wasn’t disparaging the idea that any of that might be possible, it was just him disregarding his concerns about it all. Right now, he was cuddling on the couch with his hot, sexy, sweet vampire boyfriend who was all his forever.

“Jeez, would you just pick something already?” Danny asked, growing dizzy with how fast Sam was breezing through the titles. 

Sam handed the remote over. “I can’t decide. There are too many options.”

Danny took charge, pausing to actually look over the artwork and pictures for each movie in the sci-fi category Sam had landed in. He kept playing with Sam’s hair with his free hand, twisting and twirling silky strands between his fingers; by the time he thought he might have found something worthwhile to watch, Sam’s body and breathing felt like he’d already fallen asleep.

Danny leaned forward just enough to take a peek. Sam’s face was still and serene, his eyes closed and lips slightly parted, with his cheek squished into Danny’s shoulder. Danny just looked at him a moment longer before he pressed himself back into the couch–Sam followed, eyes still shut, still snoozing, wrapping an arm tight around Danny’s waist as he nestled his head against his lap. Danny smiled down at him and resumed petting his hair. He traced the lines of Sam’s face with his eyes as he did so, starting with his eyebrows; then he gazed down the bridge of Sam’s nose, back up and over to his temple. From there, Danny scanned the sharp plane of his boyfriend’s cheekbone until his gaze landed on the softer, supple and pink apple of Sam’s cheek. Then he was studying Sam’s perfect, pretty lips, like two vibrant and eternally blooming rose petals. 

Sam’s sleeping face was better than anything Netflix had to offer, Danny concluded. He shut the TV off and relaxed even more into the silence of his apartment and the warmth of Sam’s body lazing atop his own, tossing the remote aside so he could gently press his fingertips to Sam’s lips. 

---

Tagging:

@mackalah @sparrowofrhiannon @starbuggie @lightsofthe-living-gvf @sanguinebats @gvfrry @clairesjointshurt @bizzielisteningtogreta @milojames16 @brokebellsgvf @streamsofstardust @heckingfrick

If you’d like to be tagged in any of my fics, you can go here or DM me :)

[armpirate]

UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 21

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

The girl keeps making eye contact with me, teasing me every time she moves the straw near her lips with a smirk. I only grin in response, knowing perfectly fine what she's trying to do and where this could actually go. As usual, my eyes travel away from her to fix on a different point inside the pub. It's something that has always worked... There's nothing worse for someone than having the attention taken away from you for no reason. I smirk to myself when I feel a tap on my shoulder, and her friendly smile is filled with second intentions. A little bit of sweet talk later, we're both making out outside. Until we break the kiss to breathe, and the blonde I wanted to go home with is a totally different person.

And that's when I snap back to reality. Because that thought only crossed my head while I'm still sitting on the counter, and it ended up with Y/n. It always ends up with her. Trying to get her out of my head, even with the dumbest thoughts, only ends up being a big total fail from my side. And why? I don't know.

It could be regret knocking at my door. But I've regretted the way I talked to her as soon as those words slipped my lips. I was low enough to attack her with her own situation, that she only trusted me to know. And I used it to hurt her, only because I felt hurt over her opinion about the deal.

The way she said it... It made me feel useless, as if she were only around me for the sex and advice, but wasn't that what I signed for? It was obvious she'd use everything she learns sooner or later, it's literally the point of our deal. But my blood was boiling just at the thought of that dickhead touching her.

For the eightieth time, only that day, I pick up my phone and enter in our chat, just to be unable to type anything at all. What am I supposed to say now? It'd be dumb to think she isn't annoyed still, and this won't make it.

Before I save my phone in my pants again, I see a message from Leslie. She keeps insisting on seeing me again, and it's starting to piss me off. I know Mark meant well when he gave her my new phone number, but this is being a little bit too much. And the fact that I'm already pissed off in general doesn't help when I click the block button and forget about it.

Pissed off, I stand up from my place and head outside. I guess it's time to get back home.

And what's better than video games to free your mind?

I take a seat on the floor, resting my back against the couch, after I've changed my clothes to some baggy comfortable ones. I'm finally immersed in something that isn't my own thoughts, feeling able to escape from the mess I made.

—Jungkook, just stop playing if you're gonna be this bad —Tae calls me out through the earphones.

—Who will you play with, huh? —I ask, raising my eyebrow while my focus is on killing people from the other group.

—Anyone else, literally —he sighs—. If you're so distracted because of that girl, just go and talk with her.

I tried that, and I failed as well. Just a few days ago I drove to her house, and stood in front of the main door for twenty minutes until I gave up. There was no point for me to stay there. How would she even react if she had seen me there out of nowhere?

It's going to be a long night... Well, as they all have been since I fought with Y/n.

✸ ✸ ✸

If last night I thought there was no hope left, I receive a text from Soo. She's inviting me again to go boxing with her. I wish she'd just accept I'm fine with doing it on my own, because we aren't at the same level, and I like being a bit rough when it comes to it?

"Tam, Mel and Y/n are also here"

And that text makes me think that maybe it won't be a bad idea after all. I wanted a chance to see Y/n and that doesn't seem forced. My sister invited me and she just happens to be there, so it's not a bad idea at all.

When I get there, I suddenly want to backtrack and leave the gym. I don't know what her reaction will be when she sees me, but there are high chances that she won't like it and I'm just risking it on making things uncomfortable for everybody. But, at the same time, if I don't see her now, I'm not sure when I'll be able to gain strength to step in front of her and talk to her directly about what happened.

I step in in the gym class, seeing everybody messily working on their boxing skills on the punching bags that are hung around the room, while others just seem to be resting a bit. And that's when I see her. Cheeks slightly tinted in red, some wet locks sticking on her forehead and side of her face, while her lips are parted trying to get some air back. And I can't believe how much I missed that image.

The trainer walks to me, greeting me with a tight hug before he pats my back. I've always trained with him only, so he's surprised to see me here with so many people.

—My sister insisted —I excuse myself.

—Good —he laughs—. Pick a punching bag and make it yours.

—Umm —he looks at me interested when he's aware of my pensive expression—. How about we get in pairs and work on our abilities together? I've seen it's really helpful.

Convinced by what I've just said, he nods and turns to the whole class before he speaks:

—Guys, get in pairs.

I see Soo goes straight to Melanie as soon as those words get to their ears, while Tammy walks straight to the guy she's been trying to hook up with for months. About Y/n, I see her looking around, trying to find someone that's in the same situation as her. And she finds someone actually. The boy walks to her with confidence, just to receive a deathly look from me, while I point to somewhere else in the room so he doesn't get near her. His expression turns from a confident one to a scared one, changing the pace of his tracks to walk somewhere else in the classroom.

I walk to her, noticing her ponytail is a big mess at this point, and there's no way she'll be able to concentrate on the exercise that way. Throwing my boxing gloves on the floor, I walk to her. Her hair falls over her shoulders, before I hold it all up again and style it on a messy bun so it won't bother her later.

—What are you doing? —she turns to me, once I'm done— Your sister is there.

—They all are busy with their things.

It's not like they'll interrupt their gossip and dumb talk to pay attention to us. Yet Y/n still needs to make sure their eyes are on us. She turns to me again with her lips slightly pressed against one another.

—I'm not doing this with you —she assures me, when she's aware I'm already wearing my red boxing gloves.

—Too bad I'm the only one free.

—Then I'll change partners with someone.

She starts looking around, but everyone has their partner already, and I highly doubt anyone would want to trade at this point. I call her name, the softest way I'm able to, getting her to look back at me with acceptance. But it only seems to be about the gym class, because whenever I try to get closer to her, she steps back, until she finally decides to hide behind the punching back, holding onto it so I get ready to punch it.

—We need to talk about what happened —I throw the first punch.

Although I try to be as careful as I'm able to, I still make her whole body move with the punch I give.

—Do we? —she cuts me off— Because I don't think we have anything to talk about when you disappeared for a week.

How do I tell her that I've been trying to do exactly that for a week, and that it took my sister to invite me to her friends' hang outs to finally dare to do it? It's ridiculous and pathetic. How do I tell her that I've been thinking about her non-stop ever since I stepped out from her house later that night?

She keeps looking at me though, silence isn't enough and she wants me to fill it with an answer to her question.

—I wanted to call you —I assure her once she changes places.

She scoffs, getting ready to give the first punch to the punching back.

—What was it? You lost your phone? Broke it? —she changes her position, now kicking the boxing back to make my body move.

—I was embarrassed.

She suddenly stops. Eyebrows knitted together as she processes what I've just admitted.

—I'm sure you're used to being an asshole like that —she keeps going back to punching and kicking the punching bag, hitting it harder each time.

—Not with you though. And I didn't know how to reach out to you after I behaved like that —I sigh—. You had every right to be pissed off that night. I was a douche, that comment was...

—Disgusting? —she gasps, stopping again— It was. And don't try to say you didn't feel every single word. You said it because you were annoyed, I get it, but that doesn't change the fact that somewhere, in the back of your head, you don't think those words aren't true.

—I never said I didn't believe those weren't true —she bites her lip, and I'm seeing she's starting to position herself to hit something that isn't the punching bag anymore—. The wording was fucked up because it came up as an attack to you, but would you be really looking in my direction if you had more choices?

Wait, was that what actually hurted me that day?

I never thought about it that way, but the fact that she could have anyone she'd want to if it weren't for her being pathologically unable to keep a normal conversation with a man... Yeah, it sucks a lot. The fact that she'll be able to act the same way she does with me with anyone else makes my head hurt and my blood boil. But it's something that's likely to happen eventually, whether I like it or not. And it's not fair to try to hold her accountable for it.

—It doesn't change the fact that you were offensive for no reason —she faces me

—I didn't mean it that way. I... —I think about what I want to say exactly, but I give up when I'm unable to— I'm sorry about what I said.

My lungs and throat totally shut when she suddenly hits my stomach after some other punches directed at the punching back I'm holding. I guess I deserve that.

—This conversation isn't over —she assures me—. Don't think everything is set and done only because you apologized.

And while it might not be the reply someone would be happy with, I am indeed happy after hearing that comment and being aware that she doesn't want to end things there.

After what happened during gym class, and after taking a cold shower, I get dressed and pick my phone, finally daring to send her a text. I can't believe it's actually been a whole week since I've done this.

Me: Can I come to your place?

Y/n takes quite long to respond. I keep seeing the "Typing..." thingy under her name several times, until she finally sends in her answer. My stomach turns in its place when she first sends a dry "No", just to send in later how she wants us to meet in my place instead.

✸ ✸ ✸

I've been walking in circles on the exact same spot for way too many times, I'm afraid I might end up digging a hole at this point. And it only gets worse when she finally rings the bell, making my heart jump out of my chest. She looks serious, but slightly nervous, when I open the door for her.

It's kind of uncomfortable at first. As if we hadn't done this a million times already.

—Do you want something to drink? —I ask, pointing towards the kitchen.

Her hair swings in sync with her head when she shakes her head. So straight to the serious talk, I guess.

I walk over my couch, thinking it'd be better to discuss this while we're both sitting than standing in the middle of my house. Although she stays up, until I pat on the free seat next to me on the couch. Now she is indeed nervous, moving her fingers on her lap, lost in her own head.

I think it might be easier if I were the one who started speaking.

—I crossed the line the other day —she nods, still not looking at me—. And hiding for a week didn't make it any better.

—No. Because it seemed like you didn't care —although she raises her head to look at me, she avoids looking into my eyes—. It felt like I was the one who had to go after you to make things up.

—I didn't know how to do it —I scratch the back of my head—. I didn't know how to properly reach out to you after that night. I wasn't sure if texting you out of nowhere or going to your place would be invasive.

—But coming to the training wasn't? —she asks that question with an accusing tone, while she raises one of her eyebrows.

—Was it that obvious I went because of you?

Her lips pressed tight against one another, as she slightly nods her head.

—I rather train by myself —I sigh—. But Soo told me you were going, too. I saw the chance, and I took it.

—So your plan was to come to the training, and?

—Apologize —I finish

—Right —her gaze drops back to her thighs—. You know, I wasn't annoyed because of the jealous act. That pissed me off, but not because you were jealous, but because you feel like you're free to meet up with someone, yet that same rule doesn't apply to me. I don't like the double standards. And then you said that crap, acting like I'm only doing this because you're the only one I can do it with...

From my point of view, I wasn't meeting with Leslie to get in her pants. That was never the main point of it, and it'd never be. But of course she can't know that, especially when I didn't even tell her what was going on.

—How did you feel when I said that?

She seems surprised by my question, as if it were an unexpected bomb that she didn't know how to defend herself against. And that makes me wonder how many times she's felt forced to hide her real feelings, or eat up her own thoughts so she wouldn't hurt others.

—Pathetic —she sighs heavy—. I felt pathetic. It made me feel like you were doing me a favor and just saw me as that.

Clearly, whatever happened in her past has made her as insecure and defensive as she is. But the fact that I dropped those words, and that I used a wording that made her feel that way, only makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

—I promise I didn't mean it that way —I assure her—. It pissed me off how you said you regretted the deal. I said the first thing that crossed my mind. How you talked about it... it made me feel like you're only talking to me because of that. Like all of these moments are only because you need my help —I want to touch her, I crave the feeling of her skin, but my hand drops on my lap before I'm able to reach hers—. You're not pathetic. I'm an asshole for making you think that way.

Her eyes widen slightly as she hears my apology and my thoughts about this whole issue. I wonder what's genuinely going through her head right now.

—You're an asshole —she seconds what I say, just to say something unexpected shortly after—. But get pizza for dinner and I'll consider forgiving you.

She's slick and fast, giving me a tiny smile while she looks at me after dropping the best make-up phrase I've heard. I pat her head, feeling her hair soft under my palm, before I lean over the table to reach my phone.

—Ham and cheese?

We've eaten pizza way too many times not to know she hates rough flavors. I remember the face she made when she first got one slice of my Pepperoni pizza after I dared her to try it.

Forty minutes later, we're both lying on my couch, eating the pizza I've ordered while watching the most gore film that's ever been made. At some point, when the killer tears one of his victim's body apart with a chainsaw, I ask:

—Does this make us psychopaths?

The fact that neither of us are even flinching would be concerning.

—Maybe —she nods, while chewing on her food.

It's all good and nice, until we both realize there's only one slice left inside the box. It's a matter of time before we both start arguing for it.

—You had the last one the last time —she whines

—And you had the last one the last last time —I emphasize my words pointing at the back with my thumb.

Does it make sense? No. But I enjoy bickering with her for no reason, and I've been missing all of this a little bit too much.

We both play rock-paper-scissors to make up who will get the last slice. The first few times we both use the same things, until I change mine to scissors and she chooses paper. Her hand is lifted in the air, while I jump on my seat and celebrate my victory just to piss her off. Clearly, it doesn't last long, because I divide that same slice in two just so she can get a bit more.

—Here —I hand it to her.

—Thank you —she smiles shyly, holding the slice with one of her hands.

When we both start picking all the things up, I see her attempt to leave my house, walking nervously to the door while she looks for her things around the place. Can I seriously let her go after a week without her? Answer is quite predictable.

I make her turn on her feet, pulling her body as close to mine as I'm able to, before I lay my lips on her, covering them softly with a delicate kiss. She's the first one moving her lips on mine, wrapping her arms around my neck as she tries to pull me closer to her body.

I break the kiss first, basically because the need of asking her to stay the night is bigger than the need I have of kissing her right now.

—Stay the night —I whisper—. Nothing has to happen. Just stay.

Actually, I don't want anything to happen. I just want to be with her, feel the warmth of her body next to mine as we try to get some sleep. That's all I need.

Y/n changes to one of my oversized t-shirts before she joins me in my bed, under the sheets. And although everything seems to be fine, I can tell there's something going on through her head by the way her eyebrows keep twitching and frowning momentarily.

—Let it out.

—What? —she looks at me confused.

—Whatever is running up here —I caress her temple—, let it out.

—Do you think Soo knows?

—Doubt it. Why?

—You said she told you I was there today.

The fact that that question was the only thing keeping her from relaxing next to me makes me cackle.

—All night you've been thinking about that? —I lift my eyebrows surprised— She said Tam, Mel and you were there. She didn't single you out. It was a general statement to encourage me to join her. She knows I've had a hard time socializing with people.

—So she invites you to places to get you to open up? —I nod— That's sweet.

Actually, it's been like that ever since I moved here. Because, according to her, I needed to make more friends apart from Taehyung, and how neither of us could leave in our bubble for too long. Only for Jimin to be added to the group, shortly after I met him as my therapist.

—Fake it 'till you make it ���I sigh.

That's been my motto all my life.

—I have a hard time believing you struggle with that.

—I find it easy to meet people on a superficial level. I struggle when I have to open up and actually build friendships.

It was tough after what happened in Seoul, but it got slightly worse when Leslie cheated on me and disappeared shortly after.

We're back to being in silence, but I can sense there's something still bothering her.

—Let it out —he insists again.

—Why did you meet up with Leslie?

This time she doesn't play around, she directly asks the question while she waits for me to give her an answer.

—I shouldn't have —I look away as soon as her eyes fall on me again—. She showed up, and wanted to apologize properly for what happened between us. We had dated for too long, and I didn't want to hold the negativity any longer. You know, be cordial with her, move on from all that.

If only I had known she'd pull the bullshit she did, I wouldn't have given her a second.

I know Y/n asked why I met up with her, but I know she's waiting for a longer answer, that also includes an explanation as to why I didn't tell her I was meeting up with her when I canceled our plans.

—I didn't tell you through text because I didn't think I had to —I shrug—. But I was going to tell you when I drove to the bar. You don't have to worry about her —my hand reaches her under the covers, as if I needed her to understand I'm serious—, seriously.

I genuinely don't care about anything else, but the fact that I'm with her right now. It might seem dumb and stupid, but that tiny smile of her -that she keeps trying to hide- is the only thing that assures me everything will be alright.