#Great Depression be damned
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Steve Rogers doesn’t surrender. Except to his boyfriend (and said boyfriend’s family) when it comes to letting them feed him.
#ship: stucky#ch: steve rogers#Great Depression be damned#Winnifred is just chasing after Steve with ladles full of soup#Becca forces Steve to be her taste-tester for all of her baked goods#(and bagels)#(she makes the best bagels in the neighborhood and her babka is to die for)#they never make him feel bad about it either. they’re just telling him that they’ll be more offended if he doesn’t eat than if he does#(but if he doesn’t like it he HAS to let them know so that they can try something different for next time)#(there WILL be a next time)#BUCKY BARNES IS PEAK NJB#Bucky also feeds him but he doesn’t seek him out to eat the way Becca and Winnie do#at some point Steve knows he has to give up on this because he’s surrounded by a Nice Jewish Family and this is just How It’s Gonna Be
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God i hate drawing leather, but i love it at the same time too this SUCKS, anyway, rascal, funny guy, silly thing, is he a full rabbit dude? Who knows, i just drew him as one, colours were fun to do
My favorite fluffy bastard! <- That's probably what Creep calls it when they're high... Love the shoes you put them in - imagining being one of Creep's rivals and you see a bunny man in that get up barreling at you like a steam train. Obsessed with how you color your art, really like the detail on the collar. Thanks for sharing! ♥️🐇
#Rascal my oc#Depression be damned thanks for reminding me of this chief#Their colors are my favorite thing about them tbh I like how they blend together#Also makes for great camo if they're hiding in the bushes#Fanart#yandere oc
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tbh my latest biggest theory for why HoO and onwards is such a dramatic drop in quality and consistency is just. Rick stopped making teaching guides.
Like, the Lightning Thief teacher's guide is SUPER in-depth with even stuff like sources about middle grade child psychology and exact specifications of where he's applying that, explaining what different character's goals/motivations are, their dynamics with each other and their environments, etc etc. Even specifying which specific myths certain plot elements are supposed to reference or be about.
That stuff just doesn't exist for later books. There's activity guides and smaller, significantly more simple teacher guides for later books but they don't go into anywhere NEAR the same level of depth. The TLT one is a full lesson plan that breaks down the book at every level and explains what's going on and more or less why Rick did that. The others are all basically just glossaries of terminology and some simple question guides.
And they didn't even use the TLT teacher's guide for the Disney+ show because they clearly aren't adhering to any of what's discussed in that breakdown of the book.
By creating a teaching guide alongside writing the actual book, that's forcing you to document what you're doing, why, your sources, and information about your characters and the story they're in. It's like an even more in-depth version of a series bible. But that's lacking for later books (and etc) and it shows because that level of thought and depth and attention just isn't there anymore.
#pjo#riordanverse#rick riordan#rr crit#< i suppose#imo one of the most damning parts of the drop of quality in the later books is you can tell exactly what parts of what books#Rick had planned in advance and which are just filler to get from point a to point b#because characters will jump in and out of consistent behaviors - particularly in HoO - and those lapses where they act weird#are almost always super disconnected from the rest of the plot or storyline or whatever arc that character is on#or are just so clearly sped through because they aren't important#Leo is a great character imo to look at to figure out if it's a filler scene or not lmao#if he's clearly masking being somber by putting on a silly act but dropping it quickly or otherwise largely acting serious/somber#then it's probably a more considered scene and actually paying attention to his overall character arc#or just remembering how the characters are supposed to act (in Leo's case - quiet/thoughtful/somber but masking it with humor/etc)#if he's 100% silly goofy depression arc nowhere in sight then its probably mostly a filler scene or at least his part in it is filler#anyways i highly recommend reading the tlt teaching guide its really interesting actually
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I bring a "making fun of christians may be a cathartic healing process for people leaving the Church but it's also not a very nice thing to do so maybe keep it confined to your inner circle and not the entire internet" vibe that atheists don't really like
#the amount of reddit atheism thoughts i have on the daily now#that i react to by going 'wow. a year ago I would have started panicking and begging God for mercy for thinking that. I'm so glad I left.'#its great for me but good God I would NEVER post them to the internet#because like why would i ruin some poor christian's day who is just tryna vibe#like it does work for some people and it does improve lives and i dont want to take that away#but personally it caused me so much guilt and self-loathing that I think I'll take my chances with Hell.#I do still believe God exists but I don't believe He cares about us. I think He kinda made the universe and left it running#and the only time He'd maybe interfere is if there's some cataclysmic universe-ending event and not if you're a little sad or smth#which of course doesn't stop me from living my life believing that Hell is waiting for me. esp since i still go to Mass#because if i ever stopped going i think my dad would fall into depression. and i dont want that so i gotta pretend#but damn. these things really know how to make me feel like I'm the scum of the earth and deserve to be tortured! lovely!
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FINALLYYYYY GOD. THIS TOOK 2 WEEKS TO BEAT
Reached 30 tags so here’s the rest of my thoughts:
AND I PLAYED FOR ANOTHER TEN HOURS. IT NEVER ENDED
but yes. despite all that whining I did have a blast with brothership
I want to play through it again. I feel like this is the kind of game that needs a second play through to digest it properly
Ok that’s it. Glad I finished l. Goodnight folks
#mario bros#mario and luigi#mario and luigi brothership#m&l brothership#m&l brothership spoilers#brothership spoilers#thoughts and opinions time to get it out of the way!#overall the ~60 hour experience of brothership was a delight#(60 because I dick around too much. I’d average a 50 to 55 hour experience for the average joe)#the story and characters were a DELIGHT to experience#especially extension corps. my god what a collection of idiots#tradgedy I’ll never see them again#ANYWAY I found it fun going through different islands and helping the townsfolk and reconnecting islands and their people#there were so many good individual moments here. Junior making a friend is a definite highlight#but god. extension corps finding out they care about eachother and being disgusted. a riot#father and son on bulbfish reconnecting and immediately throwing punches at eachother after. hilarious#BURNADETTE AND CHILLIAMS ROMANCE ARC. BEAUTIFUL#MARIO AND LUIGIS IDEAL WORLD BEING ONE WHERE BOWSER AND FRIENDS GET ALONG. AAGGGHHHHH#normal I’m normal#the concept of glohm and how it fits into the story is also so damn good#depression beam#I do have my complaints though. like I don’t like how Luigi feels like a sidekick instead of the second player character#you play as Mario and Luigi tags along is what it feels like. and that makes me really sad cause isn’t this game about connections#LET ME CONTROL MARIO AND LUIGI EVENLY!#the final boss is also…. not all that#the fight I mean. Reclusa himself is AMAZING#but the fight felt underwhelming for a final boss. like it. had the elements that could’ve made it a great final boss#but they weren’t tied together in a way that felt satisfying? does that make sense?#last thing: it might of just been me being desperate but the game took FOREVERRRR to finish#and I don’t say that because I hate playing I say that cause there were so many times where I thought ‘oh this is it it’s almost over’
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I was at a "making friends" kind of social event just this past week and ended up having two subsequent conversations with different people that gave me an interesting reflection on my own reasons for writing without me even intending to make the conversation about it.
First conversation: The person talked about the feeling of awe from being at a music concert and how incredible it is that so many complete strangers can be united by a singular love of music. I related to it with regards to my own writing and how many people have read my stuff. Ended up telling this guy about some of the AO3 comments I've gotten from people to the effect of helping motivate them to live/just reflect on life in general. Somehow went into a tangent about a suicidal friend of mine who died when we were in high school, and me saying that maybe the reason I write so much about the things I do is because of the influence his death had on me. And the other person ended up asking me, 'So do you think it's like every time you write, you're doing it in his memory in a way?'
Subsequent conversation was with someone who was a psychologist for a day job, and I ended up telling them that I was kind of thinking of getting a degree in psychology/therapy one day because writing about mental health issues had gotten me so interested in the world of helping people heal themselves. But then I was also like, "Well, I don't know, it could be that I don't need to become a psychologist to help people with mental health. Maybe helping people by being a writer and telling stories is enough."
It was just a surprising, but topical realization for me to have talking to a bunch of strangers. For someone like me who's often preoccupied with doing and having knowledge and expertise, I often fall into the idea that you need to be directly involved in helping people to really be making a difference. I've literally had thoughts in my mind along the lines of "I'm so smart, hardworking, and dedicated when it comes to writing, but wouldn't it have been so much more of a net gain to the world if I'd decided to be this passionate about something like being a doctor or activist that actually helps people?" It's not like I truly regret being a writer (or ever will, because there's nothing else that I love so much), but in my bad moments I truly do sometimes think "Why does it make a difference if I entertain people or make them feel nicer for a while if it doesn't actually change anything in the world?" To quote one of my favorite Transformers fics of all time, "There was nothing that would have been more worthwhile, but that didn't rule out the possibility that the whole damn universe was wasting its time."
I guess the answer is that making someone feel better, even in a small way, is changing the world, even if it's just a few people, and even if it's just as simple as making someone's day better.
#squiggposting#deeply personal shit just bc i feel like it and have been brooding on the final topic of this post#(if me being a writer is a waste or not) for a while#idk man it's the internet which is great bc it means i reach so many more people than i would without it#but it also means i don't really see the impact i have unless i'm told or happen to find it#i feel a little bad sometimes. like i should be more grateful for what impact/acclaim/positive influence i do have#but a lot of days i just feel...numb about it? i don't want to say i'm taking it for granted or feel entitled to more#i also talked about this to one of those people: that i have a hard time feeling things sometimes#both in a clinical depression way and that sometimes i just can't summon the emotions i think i should be#idk man i think i'm just at a point in my life where my identity (and honestly health) is in too much flux#and i'm also so damn lonely that i keep overthinking things that i shouldn't#venting#it's just weird to me how i sometimes think i feel too much/too hard and sometimes i don't feel ENOUGH#i think it doesn't help that like my dayjob is something i only generally find interesting but find no fulfilment in#so like. writing is pretty much what i've got to make life feel like it means something#everything else feels like it's something i'm forcing myself to do or is part of some long term plan or is an obligation#or something i 'should be doing'. writing is the only thing that i do and i push myself in bc i love it#if that doesn't mean something then nothing in life means anything
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Don't get too attached
#Brakul did a lot of the parenting for Erubi (the first of the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides throuple bastard children) in infancy especially due#to Hibrides going through absolutely horrific post-partum depression (and not wanting to be a parent to begin with. Like she#had accepted it as an inevitability and a duty but when it actually happened it was just like Oh God. I am in hell)#Brakul is the only one of the three that actually Wants to be a parent and the fact that he can't behave as such in order to avoid#suspicion that he's the father is kind of a living nightmare for him a little.#Not like he isn't involved in his ''''nieces''' lives given he lives in the same household but he has to keep a bit of distance.#Janeys and especially Hibrides are pretty unsympathetic about this. For Hibrides it's like she has had to go through so much shit#to maintain this situation she never asked to be a part of and when he has to go through a fraction of that he breaks the fuck down.#He only wants the benefits of the whole situation and isn't willing to deal with the consequences.#This is also one of the very few things she's sympathetic with Janeys about like she respects that he's at least willing to play#his part and be miserable without bitching to her about it. Like she fucking hates him but respects the commitment to the bit.#Janeys is more just like 'Just go make more kids if you want your own so damn bad. Get a wife or something. That's what I#had to do and look at me I'm doing great I'm so normal'#The two kids aren't present on the pilgrimage (back home under the care of a hired tutor) but the Janeys-Brakul-Hibrides#Feeling Triangle are in a fucking tailspin over her being pregnant again like goddddd not this shit again#brakul red dog
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To me, personally, Vox and Velvette both have older sibling energy and Valentino has middle child energy. I don't know how to explain it they just do-
#I don't have very specific hcs for... any part of their lives before hell rlly#the vees couldve been literally ANYTHING in their respective industries before they died. literally anything.#the closest I have to specific hcs is that vox was around 11 at the start of the great depression and velvette got hit by a car-#but I DO think they all had at least one sibling#the vibes are THERE guys TRUST ME-#hazbin hotel#the vees#hazbin vox#hazbin velvette#hazbin valentino#late night ramblings#might delete this later#oh hey appearently this was my 3000th post damn
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who else up feeling the soul-numbing empty hopelessness for absolutely no reason this friday night
#literally nothing bad even happened to me personally today cannot emphasize this enough#i just read one too many of the Wrong wikipedia articles during the period after the sun went down at fucking 4 pm or whatever and then#my brain just decided it was time to replay the biggest hits of the great 2020-2022 depressive episode for fun i guess#and now i’m having. a series of moments. over a series of ridiculous things#again not even specific things that have actually happened to me just the whole vague existential dread deal i guess#truly i haven’t felt this shitty without some kind of direct cause for a year and half at this point#which is having the semi-beneficial side effect of reminding me to appreciate just how good my mental health has been recently#like. remember how i used to just feel like this all the time for. actually most of my life Until a year and a half ago? damn that’s crazy#i hope i snap out of this lmao i really cannot deal with walking into the holidays as a hollow shell of a person#but i think i’ll be fine tomorrow actually pretty sure i’m just kind of sleep deprived after this week#caseyposting
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In case anyone's interested: I officially wrote *checks notes* over 7k for the Gefangenendilemma fic in less than a month, while also *checks notes again* finishing three other fics, one ficlet and multiple KJ fills.
#if i could just get back my ability to text people back too that would be great#but honestly the gefangenendilemma fic is one of those where it all seems to be there in my head already and i just have to write it down#that it's composed of various... formats helps too i think#kaj rambles#i think i have almost recovered back to where i was pre-november in terms of depression#except for the damn mental block on texting i'm still struggling with
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it legit pisses me off how easy it is for me to have something almost completely ruined for me because of like, one person. i hate that. mid year resolution for me please do less of that
#i refuse to go into specifics since i went out of my way not to get involved in all that shit#but i CAN say with gratefulness that i can actually start getting back into rw again and im happy about that#so HA. weird slug video game my beloved#anxiety and depression be damned im capable of GROWTH and STRENGTH and AMAZING WONDERFUL THINGS#i am DESTINED for GREATNESS and i want to do wonderful things in this world
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i love art, im very grateful for adderall for gifting me with the executive function, ease of prioritization, and clearness of thought <3
#seriously a blessing in my burnout recovery#i think i had 2 burnouts really#1st when i was 12 i burnt out academically#and fell into other hyperfixations like homestuck and anime#n cartoons also socially burnt after my friends got annoyed w myhyperfixes but got close w my husband which helped/distracted from burnout#then i did again injjjjunior year i would say#i was burnt out creatively and socially and i hated band for the first time and i met my first AP class that i couldnt just coast through#because we had to do checked notes and DAMN im grateful for that teacher!!!!!!!!!!!#genuinely led to me learning how to take notes on text when i never had to before#but i literally cried. because spent HOURSSS the first few times trying to do my notes before a classmate told me theres a website that#summarized the book#which helped a lot#but it was the first time since suspecting i have Something other than depression/anxiety that i was SURE i had adhd#it kinda just clicked so i got on a nonstimulant that helped a bit but had shitty physical symptoms that got worse as i got older#i was on it forrrr like 2 or 3 years before i stopped taking it#but i also got on a 504 which gave me deadline flexibility which like#great yknow finishing out junior and senior year medicated woo#but senior year last semester i had terrible senioritis lol#which i now realize was that 2nd burnout#and literally from march 2020 to the end 2022 i barely talked to anyone or engaged on any level with most people other than smoking weed#and being a therapist#and my beautiful wonderful husband ofc but we kinda enabled each other lmao#but yknow that gap of time when my locale cared about covid and stuff was just not going on i really recovered#i didnt draw much or do much hobbywise#i did probably too much weed and not too much but Quite a Damn Lot of acid#(which.. idk who follows me now... but acid isnt a evil scary drug it is not physically harmful and wholly dependent on mindset)#and i worked a lot#but... i quit my job at the end of 2022. which kinda directly correlates with me reconnecting with my friend group#and reconnecting with them... i decided to go back to college#re realized the path for my passion for psychology lies in academia and i LIKE that
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Looking back at your Ask box…
… And realising you have Asks going back at least two years…
Which is a good thing bc I just accidentally found out someone blocked me that I think I only interacted w/ them all of once and I'm not sure why but I might know why and now I feel bad, and…
… Yeah. I'll. Uh. I'll go think about the Asks, maybe.
#Firebird Randomness#there's no real point in pursuing the other thing#I'm guessing it was my 01 melt down think I pushed a lot of people away w/ that one#I was twenty five and it was Covid and I was not in a great place emotionally#in it's own way 01 kept me going but damn did I get emotional about it#I still have pretty much the same opinions although I think I could explain them better now#I'm not stuck living w/ my parents I'm not in one of my most formative ages stuck in a global pandemic#I am constantly exhausted and burned out from work and thinking about going on meds again#I still have executive dysfunction and my social skills are subpar#I care to much and get worked up#I still have anxiety and depression#but I'm almost thirty (twenty nine end of this month!) I'm in a better living spot and I get paid okay#I still have weight and image problems and no motivation#but I don't have scurvy#gotta do my taxes#all in all… Doing okay#I still love Horobi and Fuwa w/ my whole heart#test for whoever reads the tags: who wants to see my merch/display wall???#it's covered in dust and has some Hakuouki and DMC stuff on it as well but I still think it's cool!
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i am a little worried about you Princess. are you ok?
#I’m doing….. okay??????#I love my new job so that’s great#I get to be with puppies all day#have to do a lot of cleaning but they are worth it 🫶#but my depression and anxiety have been baaaaaaad lately#I have a few ideas why my depression has been rough lately#but that doesn’t make it any easier#I want to work and be with dogs all day every day but I can’t work thaaaat much (only part time)#also it doesn’t pay amazingly unfortunately so I’ll probably have to find another job on top of it#especially with my 26th birthday coming A LOT faster than I’d like#I’ve had to do a lot of cleaning and packing which is completely fair since my parents want to have people over for the holidays#totally totally fair#but it’s also sad cause I have to box up a lot of my stuff/hobbies#like I boxed up practically all of my painting stuff since idk when I’ll be able to do that again#my room is jam packed with shit so I’ve only been home to sleep#spend the rest of the time in the car but it’s not really mine so I can’t smoke in here so half of the time I fall asleep#idk idk idk I just feel like I’m complaining all the damn time so I’m trying to shut up and keep it to myself a bit#it’s just the same thing over and over again and nothing is gonna change unless I move#and that’s incredibly unrealistic right now#also I’m worried about my dad more and more each day so that doesn’t help#I want to do something with him or for him but our relationship hasn’t been the best and idk how to fix it#and I’m terrified something is going to happen and I won’t be able to#oooofda that was a lot#and that was only a little bit of what’s going on#but at least I have a job now so that’s cool haha#sometime I’ll have to show you guys some puppy pics I have so many now haha#thanks for checking in lovely#I hope you’ve been doing ok 🫶#ask
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I've been officially in 2024 for 33 minutes and it's great so far 😁
Happy new year to all of you again!!
#asgard to earth 💚 (ooc)#had a board game night with my fam and brother-in-law and his fiancèe#then we watched the incredibles on disney+#I'm a bit tipsy and all I have on my mind is hope that this next year will have as much miracle in it as 2023 had#I'll be honest 2023 was pretty great#it had it's ups and downs but three games came in my life that I'm so grateful for#because they all brought new friendships and so so so many ideas#I love to feel inspired because it makes me feel alive#my adhd is more manageable when I can direct all of it at something that interests me#so when detroit: become human and hogwarts legacy and ESPECIALLY BALDUR'S GATE 3 crashed in my life#I was pretty much saved from the depression I always slide back into#I haven't had a depressive episode since the middle of October#and this is what I hope you'll all experience#may you never know that black hole that swallows me whole every now and then#and may this lucky streak for me continue because DAMN I feel SO alive in Faerûn!!#seriously hoping you all find where you'll feel great 🖤 wishing the best for anyone who reads this#okay enough about me#go stretch and drink some water#take your meds if you haven't - but only if you had no alcohol!#and if you're feeling low just PLEASE reach out#the world is full of wonders#and all will be well#I promise
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