#Grasping Year 1
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*(Solo TTRPG Journaling based on Wanderhome by @jdragsky)*
*text under readmore in case you can't read my tiny handwriting*
Today, the girl and I set out on our journey. I woke her up before sunrise, to make our escape before the city became full of life. Too many dangers.
She’s afraid, I can tell.
I found an old map among my things to take with us, it should prove useful. If I’m correct, it’ll take us a little less than a day to make it to the next town over, where we can stop for the night. I’ve also broken into my savings jar in order to hire a local peddler to act as a caravan, at least for now. It’s easier than traveling on foot. I fear, though, that I may need to find odd jobs to do in each city we stay in, in order to keep paying for his services.
His name is Tiberius and, while I do not consider myself a cruel sort, he is particularly ugly, inside and out. Most peddlers tend to be; obsessed with their wares and their coin and their numbers. He is a unique sort, though. One of those cats with no fur, who has to overcompensate by wearing pounds of bumble wool. The girl keeps asking him where his fur went.
I am urging her to stay silent, but it is difficult with Tiberius around. He refuses to cease his endless yapping. He asks about me, and her, and where her parents are, and why we hired him, and for how long… I have half a mind to steal his beetle myself and kick him out of the caravan, but I remain silently seething.
If there is one piece of good to come out of his inability to not speak, it’s that song he keeps humming. The girl seemed fascinated by it, tapping her fingers to the beat. When he noticed, he asked her if she would like to learn it and she said yes. It’s an old aria, he explained, from his ancestors, passed down through generations. I think that sounds like a load of hogwash, peddlers have a tendency to make nice lies, but the girl loved the story and the song. It’s the first time I’ve seen her smile since I met her.
I decided to start calling her Aria. Maybe, if she can smile along and believe in Tiberius, perhaps I should start trying to believe in her as well.
I always did want to name my daughter Aria, but the chance always passed me by.
We’ve arrived in town, now. And we’ll be staying here for two days before taking off again. I have the money for two nights in the inn, but I’ll need to find work in order to pay Tiberius for passage to the next town. Though, if I can find my own wagon, I might not mind leaving him behind.
It’s been a long time since I stepped foot into this town. I attended university here, once, when I was still young and hopeful. Perhaps it’s the one thing that saved me from Her wrath all those years ago. I wonder if any of my old mentors are still here. It would be nice to see at least one familiar face.
Finding work was difficult. The markets are always full of vendors, but none willing to hire for a day's work. Aria seems overwhelmed by the noise. I nearly had a heart attack when I realized she had run off somewhere. Tiberius found her by a pen of rather impressive bumbles for sale, petting them gently. I had to apologize to the owner. I don’t know how to punish a child that could kill me.
The local shrine was a bust as well. Aria found old food offerings, ones that had already gone bad, and couldn’t help herself. I snapped at her and now I feel guilty. Does she even know who she is? Do I?
I’ll buy her a nice meal tonight to apologize, but I worry our funds are dwindling. We’ve barely even started our journey and it could be over by tomorrow night. Tiberius finally took pity and offered me a job. A small delivery job to the university. The teachers there purchase a fresh order of textbooks every semester. He said he’d give us free passage to the next town if we delivered them for him tomorrow.
I’m not sure how long we’ll be able to keep this up, but I’m going to keep up my optimism and hope that we’ll make it through.
#wanderhome#wanderhome solo game#ttrpg journaling#Grasping year 1#Esmerelda and Aria#hehe I had fun making this one!!! also we meet Tiberius my sweet cheese my good times boy#esmerelda is just a lil mean but she'll get better I prommy#my friend also suggested I tag jay dragon so uh ashgdsdsg hi
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read my powerpoint boy
#do you love what is going to be the new default microsoft office font. are you excited to be free of calibri#dragon age#it just brings me a lot of joy to write things down neatly but let me know if this is actually useful to anyone LMAO#i love to consult the sacred texts. and notice their terrible obvious mistakes.#not world of thedas writing each age as '1-99' even when that would mean theres only 99 years and 00 dates are referenced in the same book#excited to find out tumblr desktop lets u add 30 images. the powers of the posting bourgeoisie are within my grasp#zevsurana academics
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#kirby#firearms#guns#swearing#ask to tag#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#it's a goddamn Day once again#while still recovering from the rest of the week my doctor informed me that it's clinic policy that I can't stay on my prednisone#so I have to either leave the clinic or lose the one med giving me even a desperate tenuous grasp on basic tolerable qol#and then while I was drawing there was some kind of altercation in another building#so now I'm on high alert for that too#also fun fact I have not touched a firearm in 7 1/2 years but I drew that m4 from memory lol#(btw this is a play on 'I am not god's strongest soldier')#(which is a play on 'god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers')#tbh I should've drawn kirby sharpening a knife but this is what we got today
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Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)
#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum#but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone#and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things?#YOU DONT#IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW#ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE#AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM#I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through#and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry#had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood#idk just venting and rambling lol#aroace#ace spectrum#gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp#and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks#its annoying but it is what it is#aromantic#asexual#lgbt#queer#talking#rambling
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"[Elizabeth Woodville's] piety as queen seems to have been broadly conventional for a fifteenth-century royal, encompassing pilgrimages, membership of various fraternities, a particular devotion to her name saint, notable generosity to the Carthusians, and the foundation of a chantry at Westminster after her son was born there. ['On other occasions she supported planned religious foundations in London, […] made generous gifts to Eton College, and petitioned the pope to extend the circumstances in which indulgences could be acquired by observing the feast of the Visitation']. One possible indicator of a more personal, and more sophisticated, thread in her piety is a book of Hours of the Guardian Angel which Sutton and Visser-Fuchs have argued was commissioned for her, very possibly at her request."
-J.L. Laynesmith, "Elizabeth Woodville: The Knight's Widow", "Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts: Power, Influence, Dynasty"
#historicwomendaily#elizabeth woodville#my post#friendly reminder that there's nothing indicating that Elizabeth was exceptionally pious or that her piety was 'beyond purely conventional'#(something first claimed by Anne Crawford who simultaneously claimed that Elizabeth was 'grasping and totally lacking in scruple' so...)#EW's piety as queen may have stood out compared to former 15th century predecessors and definitely stood out compared to her husband#but her actions in themselves were not especially novel or 'beyond normal' and by themselves don't indicate unusual piety on her part#As Laynesmith's more recent research observes they seem to have been 'broadly conventional'#A conclusion arrived at Derek Neal as well who also points out that in general queens and elite noblewomen simply had wider means#of 'visible material expression of [their] personal devotion' - and also emphasizes how we should look at their wider circumstances#to understand their actions (eg: the death of Elizabeth's son George in 1479 as a motivating factor)#It's nice that we know a bit about Elizabeth's more personal piety - for eg she seems to have developed an attachment to Westminster Abbey#It's possible her (outward) piety increased across her queenship - she undertook most of her religious projects in later years#But again - none of them indicate the *level* of her piety (ie: they don't indicate that she was beyond conventionally pious)#By 1475 it seems that contemporaries identified Cecily Neville as the most personally devout from the Yorkist family#(though Elizabeth and even Cecily's sons were far greater patrons)#I think people also assume this because of her retirement to Westminster post 1485#which doesn't work because 1) we don't actually know when she retired? as Laynesmith says there is no actual evidence for the traditional#date of 12 February 1487#2) she had very secular reasons for retiring (grief over the death of her children? her lack of dower lands or estates which most other#widows had? her options were very limited; choosing to reside in the abbey is not particularly surprising. it's a massive and unneeded jump#to claim that it was motivated solely by piety (especially because it wasn't a complete 'retirement' in the way people assume it was)#I think historians have a habit of using her piety as a GOTCHA!' point against her vilification - which is a flawed and stupid argument#Elizabeth could be the most pious individual in the world and still be the pantomime villain Ricardians/Yorkists claim she was#They're not mutually exclusive; this line of thinking is useless#I think this also stems from the fact that we simply know very little about Elizabeth as an individual (ie: her hobbies/interests)#certainly far less than we do for other prominent women Margaret of Anjou; Elizabeth of York;; Cecily Neville or Margaret Beaufort#and I think rather than emphasizing that gap of knowledge her historians merely try to fill it up with 'she was pious!'#which is ... an incredibly lackluster take. I think it's better to just acknowledge that we don't know much about this historical figure#ie: I do wish that her piety and patronage was emphasized more yes. but it shouldn't flip too far to the other side either.
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#YOU CAN PUT MORE THAN 10 OPTIONS?????#This sat in my drafts since the end of the first poll cuz i didnt have the 12 entry#Senmei fans are the strongest soldiers#Theres exactly 1 still active fan so i expect to see you you know who you are#Idk maybe ill kill whoever wins again lets see how obscure we can make it#Suggest series if you want#Sorry yohaji fans and oofuri fans yall got too many votes the first time#I actually have no grasp on how big kyuushi or tsuritamas fandoms are#Kyuushi is pretty big in japanese but not english i dont think#And tsuritama is a 10 year old anime only#Oh before anyone asks i never included princess tutu on purpose cuz despits being old and anime only#The fandom is wildly active#radiant historia#tsuritama#fukigen na mononokean#a gentle noble's vacation recommendation#Phantom of the idol#Gakuen babysitters#Jeweler richard#donten ni warau#Sennen Meikyuu no Nana Ouji#kyuuketsuki sugu shinu#Kyuushi#the vampire dies in no time#i had to redo this poll and take out no home cuz i also got too many votes before#so i replaced it with nekuyan#go read nekuyan#crossplay love otaku x punk#nekuyan#i killed all the fandoms that were above 10% on the last poll but i left gakuen babysitters as a treat
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I am obsessed that Jedi: Survivor explores Cal more or less slipping into the dark side/dark behaviors and patterns and how leaning into emotion as a Jedi can make you significantly more powerful though also extremely reckless and aggressive - however a balance could perhaps be reached by Jedi with the patience and support to understand their darker emotions and how it could be beneficial or harmful given the situation. But they fr don’t. Every time something within that vein happens to Cal everyone is like damn… crazy. Anyway
#that being said I am… so sad they didn’t further flesh out Dagan and Santari#like that was a really big part of the genuine first 1/2 or even 3/4 of the game and then… like#I understand it was mostly symbolic and that Cal and Merton saw the foil of their own relationship (kind of) and that love is not a good#enough excuse to be a monster but also like… that parallel did not come in almost at all#the whole game Merrin was based as fuck and pretty emotionally centered#SIGNIFICANTLY more than cal - and - if it was to be a true parallel then wouldn’t Cal have genuinely scared her in some way?#didn’t it seem like maybe when he embraced darkness he should’ve gone TOO far and Merrin would’ve needed to actually fight him to bring him#back to both himself and her?? they… almost… got there on nova garrun or whatever but.?#Dagan and Santari like that was an interesting as fuck relationship and I really REALLY wish they’d come full circle in the end but. didn’t#I felt like there was a bit of allusion maybe Santari had found a way to preserve herself too but. dude. they were so interesting as doomed#narrative antagonists or like whatever. I genuinely thought maybe Bode’s betrayal would be revealed like Dagan bodyswapped him#and that accounted for his seemingly bizarre switch up like. idk. grasping. and I loved the game do not get me wrong#but like. a lot of potential in a foil always and that did not see it through to the sequel#jedi survivor#jedi fallen order#cal kestis#jedi suvivor spoilers#I know it came out last year but. obviously I have just played it now
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How long have you developed Breanna as your OC?
shes been my oc since i was 19, so almost 6 years now 🥺😭
#jade answers#Anonymous#straud asks#it takes me a very long time to finalize an oc's personality ;( i did the same with holden when i worked on his story for 10 yrs lmao#he went thru many drafts. breanna's were a little more consistent (she's always been immature and reckless etc) but mannnnnn#i feel like i've only truly settled on her personality within the last year. does that make sense lol#or rather within the past year my grasp on her personality has become very comfortable. i know her super well!#sometimes u just gotta spend years getting to know your ocs idk it's like this for me anyways#if you actually read all that mwah mwah mwah mwah love you 1 billion points hammer damage 🔨
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WHY do people hate and/or skip jojo part 1. Because it “doesn’t make sense”??? My brother in christ we are watching jojos bizzare adventure. Do u not line Jonathan’s weird little outfit with the colorful sweatervest and backwards cap and little bow tie that he wears that one time. What about dio’s stupid feathered shoulders marching band outfit. baron zeppeli. DOES SPEEDWAGON MEAN NOTHING TO YOU.
#I actually don’t know why people don’t like part 1 lol#ep 1 was hard to get thru bc it was just like#Jonathan havin the worst time of his life forever#but then when I watched ep 2 I was like#oh my god this is so bonkers constantly and I need More Of It Now#and the rest was history. I had a great time ✌️#I don’t know what’s going on ever but I simply do not care#ignorance is bliss baybeeeee#I don’t grasp enough of what I’m seeing to know if it is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ lol#I also watched parts 1 and 2 dubbed teehee#also part 1 is like nine episodes. it’s not that long#part 3 is like 500 years!!!#and part 3 is so popular#I think my fave part is 4#love those funky little freaks
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my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)
#they were still adjusting to living life without struggling to survive#a girl should not be jumping into a relationship the same week she just tried her first piece of non-rotten food lol#thats not to say I don't like the canon ships#but mal married literally the FIRST man she met in auradon. at 18.#and even as far as in descendants 2 we see them still struggling to adjust in different ways (mainly mal)#in d3 they seem to have fully assimilated into life in Auradon (as much as a VK can anyway)#so it makes sense for them to THEN seek out relationships if that's what they want.#but disney ofc wanted to act like romantic love just automatically fixes a person's problems ig?? as if a relationship wouldn't just be#added stress given the position the VKs were in in d1#not to mention dating just like. wasnt a thing on the isle (mal even says this)#and I get that the kids are craving to be loved because their parents didn't gaf about them. But I wish the first movie focused more on the#finding that love in each other than romantically with outside people. a sort of “they had love in them all along” moment.#and then this fandom loves to argue about whether Jarlos/Janelos was 'rushed'. at least Carlos (and Jay +lonnie) waited a few months before#throwing themselves into the dating scene. Poor evie had her heart broken within like 3 days of being in Auradon. no wonder she was willing#to help steal the wand lol.#Anyway to wrap up this rant I didn't even mean to go on#I just think that kids who have spent the first 14-16 years of their lives fighting to survive and being put through continuous trauma on a#daily basis don't need dating right away. they need THERAPY.#if anyone here has seen stranger things its kinda an El and Mike situation were its like. the girl grew up in a lab and fell for the first#boy in regular society who was kinda nice to her lol. thats how I view Mal and Ben#same with doug and evie. he was nicer than chad but he still fell for her for her looks and she still fell for him because he was the first#guy in auradon to be genuinely interested in her. also evie had a whole “I dont need a prince” arc and ended up with a man anyway?#my problem with janelos was always that Carlos never quite worked out his mommy issues or his anxiety. I feel like he'd be afraid of hurtin#her even though that boy wouldn't hurt a fly. and we see Jane get pretty stressed out herself- have you ever been in a relationship where#both of you have anxiety? cause it either goes really well (you help keep each other calm) or REALLY terribly (you make each other spiral)#I actually really liked Lonnie and Jay (though I feel like it would've had a bigger payoff if she was in d3. not sure why she wasn't but I#wont dunk on that because it couldve been smth to do with her actress). I think Lonnie is someone who can 'handle' Jay well and match his#energy. And I like the idea of Jay finding someone he's loyal to after being commitment-phobic for 1 1/2 movies and the whole first book lo#and ofc I have to throw this in here: any auradon kid the VKs get with is never going to grasp even half of what they went through.#this doesnt mean they can't try to understand and be empathetic. but it will always cast a shadow on VK/AK relationships.
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jon crazy girl moments
#he’s so good at emotional-rage-induced attempted murder#someone get this kid a stress ball and some old glassware to smash in a dumpster#jonposting#asoiaf#jon snow#but on serious meta mode: one of the reasons i love his flaming sword dream in adwd#cause at this point he is much more ‘subdued’ than he was just a year ago. but he still does have a lot of anger it’s just internalized#and being redirected towards a purpose now (anger at the other night’s watchman who don’t grasp how important it is to help the free folk)#but his sword dream is like… his uncontrollable impulsive rage from book 1 being directed at the people he’s lost and had to watch die#like a manifestion his intrusive thought of wishing benjen dead in the snow#‘i AM the lord of winterfell!’ he’s still angry he’s still emotional he’s still selfish#i need to write a whole thing about jon internalized vs externalized anger… cause i have Thoughts
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Nightingale University
Natures: Market, Hallow, and University.
Aesthetic Elements:
Show-Stopping Livestock
Distant Smells
A Well-Tended Shrine
Forgotten Offerings
Statues Of The Founders In All Their Glory
A •Witchy Professor Whom You Once Called A Mentor
Folklore:
The Forbidden Society Of The Theatre Hall
The Crow And The Thirty-Three Thieves
The •Miraculous Teachings Of The Old Priest
#wanderhome#wanderhome solo game#ttrpg journaling#esmerelda and aria#Grasping year 1#I thought bojack-ing that statue was funny
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canot stop looking at my icon he's sooo cute ithink this is one of my favorite official don arts. look at these fucking creatures
#skye's ramblings#theyre SOOO cute. spinning them around at high speeds#i forgot there was a phil and little bunny too. good lird they are almost the same size. tiny little guy phil#really really love the colors i want to color like this. pretty <3 also i love the amnt of personality in these poses they're really good#norman is a bit stiff in comparison to everyone else though he is Just Standing There. it doesnt look bad or anything but it is a bit funny#apparently these came with volumes 1-7 as stickers at some point?? i wonder if i could still get my hands on em. i need these badly <3#did do some color correction w don in my icon though <3 looking at the manga covers his skintone actually isnt that far off here#but i watch the anime a lot so im more inclined towards his skintone there. the anime did him better <3#demizu takes a bit of a 'fuck around and find out' approach to coloring which is admirable. thats my approach as well#and usually this results in really beautiful n unique pieces! shes got an insanely good grasp of colors for the most part#and then sometimes you get whatever the hell was going on in pepe and oliver's birthday pieces from last year. hell </3#anyway my autism is spilling um. i really like these little guys <3 would you hold them like plushie and love them forever. yes
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My infatuation & subsequent obsession with media is often tied to the ways in which I am incapable of talking about them. Whether it's because of the abhorrent contents therein which demand too much; the incomprehensible nature of my feelings on the matter; the shoddy & underbaked construction; no matter what, there is always something within all my beloved interests make them hard (or even impossible) to talk about. Instead, I talk within myself in an endless echo of speculation & alteration, as a means to replicate the sounds of a room that is not so empty. I, on my own, (no matter how many of me I am in the moment,) will never be able to fully encapsulate the sounds of a room brimming with people, though, so I double down & try to chatter more, to make up my impossible deficit.
#em.txt#this was gonna have a conclusion but I don't have a good one.#because it's just an observation.#i love elfen lied. i would like to reccomend it to people but I don't feel comfortable doing so due to its content#i love bendy. I can't reccomend it to people because what's worth loving is found more in conversations you need to already#have a starting amount of knowledge on & there's no real means of being introduced into it if you have decent standards#i love blackjack. it was made in the 70s & it has SO many problems in it & it's good that that shit isn't perpetuated by a living fandom#but i still like it & i still wish i could talk about it#i love. post shift 2. the encyclopedic nature of its tutorials & odd mechanics are the very draw that make it so compelling to me#but to my knowledge are not made intentionally so -- they are overwhelming because a dev worked with these ideas for 4 years#until they no longer seemed hard to grasp to him & he simply couldn't see how intensive the draw is on somebody outside his own mind#until fnyaf fans clammored around this game he made & lauded it as a trainwreck until he quietly gave it away#to someone else to fix in his stead because he no longer trusted himself to make it into what people wanted.#picking apart the text was not an intended as a challenge but as a fellow bitch that fails to communicate#that requires a certain amount of looking behind or around words to be understood#i find the confusing way some of these details are transcribed to be so incredibly human.#but i see & understand why people hate the tutorials. i just think they have a different definition of fun than i do.#idk. Freddy's fans will sit down & digest like. midnight motorist or some shite but not night 1 ps2? why?
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#i feel like im gonna pass out#do antivoting people really think that anyone on this website thinks voting in US elections is going to solve all our problems#is it a failure to grasp the concept of damage control/harm reduction? is that what's going on?#fucking hell you guys i'd vote in any election if it meant that a single persons life materially improved 😭#if it gets 1% easier to get disability income or a dozen fewer people are deported than last year or what fucking ever tiny difference#those are Real Human Lives that probably aren't yours and that you can easily pretend don't exist or matter for your shitty high ground#but i personally i want people to be safe. and i don't think that making a theoretical point to someone who doesn't care is worth it.
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having the sudden realization that the suite life (+ on deck) put me through a bisexual crisis way before i fully considered not being straight and i just. chose to ignore it
#kibumblabs#that’s actually so funny the more I think about it#like seriously. one of my first and biggest tv crushes was absolutely undoubtedly brenda song and like???#I KNEW it wasn’t like. an idolization thing. or ‘I wanna be her’ thing. I just thought she was sososososo pretty and cute and funny#and I mean. fair judgment and I stand by it. but yeah that started when I was like too young to even really know about the concept#of bisexuality or even homosexuality really I just couldn’t fully grasp it#but anyway cut to a few years later in middle school during the suite life on deck’s run#over the course of that show the boys (along with other younger cast members) were teenagers and visibly aged quite a bit over that time#from like. quirky 15 year olds to attractive nearly-young-adults (note: I was like 13-14ish I think)#and over that period of time cody/cole sprouse grew into a pretty blonde white twink and. full disclosure. very predictable#type of boy for me to be into. like. throughout my whole life.#and it was weird cause I didn’t start the show with any interest in anyone in that kinda way including him but suddenly it was like oh. okay#EXCEPT#for. brenda song. which I just. tried not to think about???#there was no conscious thought behind it I just kinda shoved that down like haha I’m sure that was Nothing#I don’t THINK this is the case but god I hope my taste in boys didn’t get embedded in me via cody suitelife#I’m pretty sure I’ve always just had a thing for twinky pretty boys but. it makes you think#I just finished part 1 of keyan carlisle’s suite life recaps and I’m on the second one this is why I’m thinking about this#very intentionally ignoring the fact that late suite life on deck cody looks vaguely like a teenage seilon we’re NOT unpacking that
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