#Got preoccupied with writing then watching Dan and Phil!

[kudosaday]

15/01/2025- Writing over reading !?

Finished reads-

Modaozushi-

a ghost is just a memory you haven't met yet by ThirtySixSaveFiles (@thirtysixsavefiles) - I really liked this one! I loved the mystery surrounding it and found the ending super satisfying. Would definitely recommended this!

Cut Through The Clouds by phnelt - This was a great read! Just Lan Wangji talking poetry as he should.

9-1-1-

Golden Morning Sunbeams by Buddiesmutslut - I loved this so much! It was just so sweet. I really liked the dynamic between the Eddie and Chris . And Buck!!!

I also published a fic today as well! Just ended up randomly blurting out 500 words yesterday! Please feel free to read it if you want. It's a criminal minds one with spoilers for season 8 ep12 - No darkness , No season can last forever by DaiWeiMeiFei

[paradisobound]

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 12

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count: 1.9k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing and light smut 

Rating: Explicit (from this point on) 

Updates will be every Sunday at 1pm EST

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3**

A/N: Updates are going to be every Sunday now until I get back ahead of myself writing! I’m running the risk of catching up with myself and I don’t want to write chapters week to week, I’d prefer to have them done in advance! Sorry! 

It was hard for Phil to watch Dan leave the next morning, that he will admit. He never expected to feel such a gutted sensation in his chest to see Dan get into the black cab and drive off into the distance. 

He got used to having another person in his life, living at his flat even if it was just for three days. So to go from hearing Dan to having radio silence again was hard. He even thought for a moment that Spike felt the same way with the way he whimpered for minutes after Dan left. 

He fell asleep, not long after. And he tried his best to sleep in before he had to go back to the BBC for his next shift. By 10am, he was already catching the tube to the BBC and he was already missing the last few days. 

PJ was already in the office before him, sitting at his laptop and scribbling on a piece of blank paper. “Morning.” Phil says, setting down his bag at his desk and plopping into the chair. “How was your weekend?” 

“Quite eventful actually.” PJ answered, looking from his laptop and leaning back in his seat. “Sophie and I went to visit her parents in Brighton.” He paused. “Although, I don’t think our weekend was quite as eventful as yours. When were you gonna tell me that you and Daniel Howell were shacking up in your flat?!” 

Phil’s eyes widened and he immediately stood up, walked over to the door of their office, and shut it before returning back to his desk. “Okay, listen.” Phil began. “Dan wanted to come back to London without being noticed so he stayed at my flat this weekend. It was nothing more.” 

“Well, you two certainly made a mark with that video you posted.” 

“What are you talking about?” Phil questioned. “It was just a harmless video.” 

“Have you even been on social media since you posted it?” PJ asked, suddenly turning his laptop around to show Phil the screen. 

Phil gulped, and read the first headline. 

“HEART EYES HOWELL? IS THIS THE NEW MYSTERIOUS MAN IN DANIEL HOWELL’S LIFE” 

“PJ, you know that’s bullshit!” Phil cried, pointing at the screen. “Dan and I are just friends!” 

PJ threw his hands up. “Calm down, mate.” He said, his voice soft. “I know that. But I’m just telling you what every single story is about. Your video is the product of every entertainment news source out there. Everybody who watched your video is commenting about how you and Dan acted in it. That’s all I’m saying.” 

Phil felt his body tense but then relax. PJ wasn’t trying to be rude or even aggressive, he was just looking out for Phil. He had to remember that. That’s exactly why PJ was showing Phil these headlines now and not letting Phil discover them for himself. 

“I’m sorry.” Phil said, letting out a breath. “I’ve been on edge about the entire thing. The video was Dan’s idea but I also agreed to it.” 

PJ nodded and reached down, turning his laptop back to face him again, the headline no longer glaring Phil in the face. 

“Phil, can I ask you something.” 

Phil felt his stomach drop, and his heart pick up speed. Looking closely, one could probably see the way Phil’s chest was beating so hard through his jumper. 

“Are you and Dan dating?” 

Phil knew the question was coming and even though the answer was, without a doubt, no, he still felt a multitude of answers go through his head as he began to process it. He could say any number of responses from no to I want to. But he doesn’t know the correct response. 

“No.” Phil says finally. “Dan and I are not dating.” 

There is a lull in the air, his words hanging like a string in front of them. PJ looks down at his desk and then back up at Phil. “You’d tell me if you two were together right? Like you wouldn’t let me find it out over some stupid headline?” 

Phil nodded. “If Dan and I ever date, then I’ll tell you.” 

PJ flashed him a smile and Phil flashed one back. 

The room remained silent as they worked on their own assignments, and when it came time for them to leave, they both took the same tube train and went out to coffee and dinner at a local cafe. 

***

Phil found it hard to go back onto social media. He found it incredibly difficult to even open up his Twitter app or even his Facebook. The worst part yet was that his brother and even his mum had texted him as well, talking about the video and asking all sorts of questions. He particularly didn’t want to answer anyone. 

His afternoon found himself sitting on his couch with Spike between his feet on the floor, chewing on a new toy Phil had found in his closet, still in the packaging. Spike didn’t ruin toys easily so Phil never bought him anything. So for Spike, even though it was only February, it was Christmas. 

Speaking of February, Valentine’s Day was in two days and Phil was feeling the soft pit in his stomach at, once again, not having anyone to share it with. Last year, he had opted for a sad hook up via Grindr that he regretted almost as soon as it was over―which granted, it only lasted around five minutes. 

But this year, he didn’t have any plans besides sitting at home with Spike and thinking of Dan. It’s hitting him pretty hard now, he’s decided. This crush has turned into more and he’s definitely seeing that now as he lets out a loud sigh, causing Spike to look up at him before he returning to his gnawing. 

He supposes that it’ll be just as pathetic this year, eating chocolate alone (even though he’s allergic but not bad enough where he’ll willingly give it up) and indulging in some self-love that night. 

Thinking about it now, he doesn’t even remember the last time he got himself off. It’s kind of sad really. He’s been so preoccupied with Dan that he hasn’t even had time to really think about his own needs. 

He shakes his head. He shouldn’t be ashamed about getting himself off in his own time. And maybe, deep down, he’s not. But he is ashamed about the fact that he’s currently thinking about Dan and about getting himself off all in the same thought. 

But surely he’s not alone in this right? It’s not entirely a bad thing to think of someone so attractive that you could get off to their image? Isn’t that just porn? Phil’s gotten off to a lot of porn over his teenage and adult year. 

This is dumb. And worst of all, his pants are feeling tighter as he continues to think about porn and other images in his head. And even worse yet, he’s imaging Dan’s face, the way his dimples sunk into his skin as he spoke or even smiled. How would they look as Dan was in the throes of pleasure? 

Heat begins to course in his stomach and he finds himself feeling the urges of arousal. He stood up from the couch, leaving Spike behind as he walked to his bedroom and shut the door, not particularly feeling like he was willing to jerk off with Spike watching him. 

Phil unlocked his phone and goes into Safari, clicking on incognito mode as he types in his favorite porn site into the search bar. He’s nearly clicking on the link to the site, his left hand already palming himself through his pajama pants when he gets possibly the worst thought in his head. 

He suddenly finds himself googling “Dan Howell sex scene”. Dan had mentioned that he did an indie film with his ex-boyfriend that involved a sex scene. God, why is he trying to find this? This has to be wrong? 

But yet, he’s clicking on a link to it and the video comes up on his phone screen and there is Dan, shirtless on a bed kissing some hunky blonde. He looks younger than the Dan he knows now. For one, his hair is longer and pin-straight. Not even a curl in site. And his body is less defined, much skinnier than he is now. His heart races and he sees the name of the movie credited by the video. Rain of Colorado. He quickly googles the name of the film and finds out that it was filmed in 2014 and that makes him feel a lot less guilty over getting off on it considering Dan would be 23. 

He goes back to the original tab with the video and presses play and instantly, his senses are overloaded. Dan’s moans coming from the kisses are actually pornographic. His body language and his shirtless torso is…breathtaking. Phil feels his body let out a little moan as he reaches down into his pants and takes himself into his hold, stroking slowly to get himself to full hardness. 

The video continues and suddenly Dan is underneath this guy, the camera is showing them moving together are one, the bed moving with them. The headboard is hitting the wall and banging like a drum to Phil’s ears. 

The scene ends just as both Dan and his ex appear to orgasm. And of course it is all fake but Phil still feels his breath shorten and his cock leak in his palm as he strokes faster and faster. He reaches down, the phone tossed to the side, and pulls his pants down under hardened cock, letting it hit his stomach with a wet smack. He spits into his hand for some extra leverage and picks up his pace, stroking himself with more and more eagerness. 

It feels amazing, despite it being only his hand.  

He’s imagining Dan’s face as he orgasmed on film. His mind flashed to how amazing Dan would look under him as Phil thrusts into him and over and over again as they chase their high. Or maybe it would be Dan thrusting into Phil. He’s likes both sides. 

The heat coils in his stomach way too fast for his liking and he cups his left hand over the head of his cock just in time to catch his release, streaking white over his fingers. His body is heaving and he’s breathing way too hard but the release was enough to rest his tired and tense muscles and his constantly overthinking brain. 

He reaches to his nightstand and grabs a wad of tissues as he wipes off his hand and then tosses the tissues in his waste bin. He should get up and wash off, even take a shower, but he’s feeling too much like jelly to stand. 

He tucks himself back into his pants and then grabs his phone, closing the video and closing out of the tab. He goes back to his home screen and notices a little red bubble next to his messages app and he opens it, reading the message. 

Dan: That was the worst scene I’ve ever filmed and I actually feel a bit humiliated are you able to talk? 

His heart falls out of his chest and he suddenly feels like he’s going to be sick. 

But he answers anyway. 

Phil: Of course! Call whenever you’re ready! 

[ratandphilgames]

Our Lives Don’t Collide

{chapter 3: shake on it}

summary: Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what’s worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

chapter word count: 2562

total word count: 7458 

rating: t 

note: thanks for reading and leaving me all your love! everyone who’s sent an anon or left kudos or reblogged has absolutely made this worth it! ily :)

updates on thursdays!

{read on ao3}

{read from the beginning} 

{next chapter}

—–

Sign on the dotted line …………….

The dotted line was definitely taunting him. All Dan had to do was write his name and then he’d be in a legally bond relationship. It was like a temporary marriage. No pressure or anything.  

Dan was back in Sam’s office, 2 days later. The final contract was sitting in front of him, ready to be signed.

He’d been thinking a lot the past 48 hours about this decision.

At the beginning Dan was fairly sure he was going to sign the paper but then intrusive thoughts crept into his mind. Would he be able to look his mum in the face and tell her that he was in a happy committed relationship when he wasn’t? That was a lot of intense pressure, lying to your mom was bad. Baddddddd.

After thinking about how much lying to his mum would suck, Dan thought about how proud his mum would be that he’d gotten himself into a good relationship. She was always being the typical mother, worried that he was too lonely, constantly concerned about him. It would be nice to convince her that he was okay, even if only for a short period.

Besides, this was just commitment to a role for an extended period of time. Dan was an actor. It wouldn’t be unusual to pretend, it was what he did for a living.

The longer Dan spent thinking about it, the more he ignored the bad and focused on the good.

So there he was. Sitting in Sam's office, pen in hand, hovering over the paper. Was he really going to sign this contract that bond him to a role for 6 months?

Yes, yes he was.

His world was going to shift exponentially but almost every way seemed like it would be for the better. Maybe.

Maybe not.

At this point the only way he could find out was by signing the paper. He’d gone over nearly every scenario in his head and at this point the only way to really figure out was to put his name on that line.

So he did. Dan signed his name on the dotted line.

He was now officially and legally in a relationship. It felt weird, especially since the interaction with his ‘boyfriend’ had consisted of one sentence and a weirdly elongated staring contest.  

“So, now that that’s out of the way, we need to make you two official on instagram.”

Shannon was right, that was part of the deal.

“How are we supposed to do that? I don’t have a picture of us together.”

Sam, who had stayed relatively quiet, simply stared at Dan as if he’d just said the dumbest thing ever.

“Daniel, you’ll be seeing him again. When you’re ‘in a relationship’ with someone, you tend to see them more than once.”

Oh.

So he was going to see Phil again. Soon.

Fuck.

Something about that fact was both startling and a tad bit titillating.

“Right, yeah, I knew that. I guess it just didn’t sink in yet. So when is he coming round?”

Again, Dan was met with a dumbfounded look from Sam. He seemed to be missing the obvious today. His mind a little preoccupied, he supposed.

“You can’t take the photo here, Dan. That will look sketch. You need to invite him to yours, so paparazzi see him and hype up the relationship.”

In order to avoid Sams snark, Shannon stepped in and talked. It hadn’t really occurred to Dan that him and Phil would actually hang out. That he would have Phil inside his house. Suddenly everything became overwhelmingly real.  

“Oh, oh shit. Okay. How do I do that?”

Apparently it was ‘plan everything without Dan and then act like he’s dumb because he wasn’t let in on the plans’ day.

“Dan, there’s this lovely thing called a telephone that you can use. We just have to call his publicist. All you need to do is be at home, which isn’t hard for you.”

Wow. Okay. It was also roast Dan day.

Sure, Dan didn’t tend to leave his house unless he was filming something. It was just too much hassle to get out when it took so much planning. In public he was expected to keep up appearances. At home he could get away with wearing a baggy tee shirt and sweats with no eye bats.

Since ‘Switch Hitter’ was set to come out in 2 months and trailers were starting to drop, Dan was more relevant in the media than usual. If he wasn’t up to leaving his house during his usual schedule, he sure as hell wasn’t wanting to when there was handfuls of paparazzi camping outside his gate.

“Tomorrow. Phil will be coming to your house, you will take a photo together that is suitable for coming out on instagram. Nobody will be their to monitor you, I trust you will not need supervision. Please don’t fuck this up Dan.”

Out of the whole 5 years Dan had worked with Sam, never once had he heard him curse, let alone at him. Shit was serious, Sam was pulling out the big guns.

It was like he was being scolded on having girls (or boys, he’d be out as bi since he was 14) in his room as a teenager. “I trust you will not need supervision” sounded a lot like a threat. Even his mum wasn’t that passive aggressive about being alone with a potential lover.

Not that Phil was a potential lover. This was a business relationship, nothing else.

God this was getting awkward already.

Dan didn’t want to play the ‘ask a question and get a glare from Sam’ game again so he just nodded in response.

And with that Dan was excused from Sams office and told to go home and make his house ‘presentable.’ Shannon offered to help, but Dan assured her he could do it all by himself. He could manage throwing out the old pizza boxes without assistance. The amount of times the paparazzi outside his house had gotten excited that a car was pulling up, only to find it was a pizza delivery boy was astounding.

Andreas, per usual, was standing outside the door, just waiting for Dan to walk out. Maybe a day would come when Dan could feel safe going from his house to his agents office but quite frankly that day was not today. On more than one occasion he’d been attacked by paparazzi who took it too far and a couple of times he was met with some very homophobic bystanders who chased him. After all was said and done, he’d rather pay someone and count the money well spent for his peace of mind than be in constant fear with a little more change in his pocket.

“Any more stops today?”

“No, let’s just head home. You’re probably tired of waiting around for me.”

“It’s my job.”

No other words were said the rest of the car ride back to Dan’s abode. When they arrived Dan got walked to his house and then him and Andreas parted ways.

He only had one day to get his shit together. One day was not enough time to get shit together.

Dan contemplated hiring a cleaning service. He honest to god thought about searching one online rather than have to clean up his own filth so his fake boyfriend wouldn’t be so disgusted that he ripped the contract. It wasn’t that his house was that bad, it was just tedious and not how Dan wanted to spend his evening.

He started with the takeout boxes and random junk that he just tended to leave around when he was running to get somewhere on time. A pair of shoes, a misplaced watch, some miscellaneous jewelry.

Was it weird if he picked up his bedroom? It wasn’t like he was going to entice Phil into his bedroom, but what if he walked past? Maybe Dan would at least make his bed. Try to be semi presentable just in case.

Oh god. He sounded like a maniac that thought this relationship was real. He needed to do a quick reality check and realize it was all fake. It was staged. He needed to get that through his thick dick infatuated brain before he managed to screw everything up.

Shit. Sam had good reason to tell him not to fuck stuff up.

Dan made the executive decision to make his bed, using the excuse that he needed to anyways, to be a ‘functional human.’ His therapist would be proud.

As he was just folding down the edge of his duvet there was a buzz. The buzz that meant someone was trying to get into the gate.

This was… unexpected. For a brief moment Dan wondered if he had subconsciously ordered a pizza. Or maybe he was receiving a gift basket from Phil’s team from signing the contract. No wait, mail doesn’t get delivered at 5:43 at night.

Who the fuck was at his gate?

He made his way to the intercom near the front door, the little microphone that allowed him to speak to the person attempting to enter his home. More often than not it was a reporter requesting an ‘impromptu interview.’ Don’t get him wrong, Dan loved answering questions and interacting with people who cared what he said, but at his house, unannounced? That was just unprofessional and unsafe.

“Uh, how may I help you?”

He was really fucking awkward.

“I’m here to drop off Phil Lester.”

What. The. Fuck.

“Is this a prank?”

Phil was supposed to be by his house tomorrow. Sam had explicitly told him tomorrow. As in 24 hours, as in not right fucking now.

“No sir, this isn’t a prank.”

The driver sounded a bit annoyed with him but that was the least of Dan’s problems right now. Philip Lester was outside his house a day early and there was no way to prepare because he was asking to be let in right now.

“Uh, alright, I’ll open the gate.”

As soon as he typed in the code to open the gate he flew to his room to grab his phone. In the time it took for Phils car to pull up, Dan was able to send a quick SOS message to Shannon, asking what the hell was going on.

Ding. Dong.

The doorbell was ringing. They were there.

How did his hair look? Was what he wearing earlier appropriate for the occasion? What even was the occasion? First date with his fake boyfriend? Was this a date? A ‘fake’ date of course.

He opened the door. Standing there, true to the drivers word, was Phil Lester and a very tall, muscular man, that Dan had seen outside the boardroom door days earlier. This was the real motherfucking deal, no prank in sight.

Holy fuck.

“Uh, come in.” It took everything in Dan to make that statement not come out like a question.

The bodyguard stepped off to the side and Dan moved to the side, allowing Phil to walk into Dan’s home. Phil Lester. Walking into Dan’s home. Fuck.

“I trust the premise is secure?” Phil’s bodyguard was speaking to him about security. Dan didn’t know anything about that other than Andreas always said he was safe in his home. Nobody had ever broken in, so there was that.

“Yep, super secure.”  

“Alright, well, call when you need a ride.” This time the bodyguard was addressing Phil. They had gone from a high security professional to a parent dropping off his stepson at a sleepover. At least Dan wasn’t the only awkward one here.

Phil nodded, clearly embarrassed by his bodyguards choice of words.

And then Phil’s bodyguard closed the door and it was just Dan and Phil, alone, in Dan’s big house. They were just both stood awkwardly by the front door.

“Uh, we can head into the lounge if you want.”

So they did. Dan led Phil into the lounge and they both sat down on the sofa and they both did that awkward thing where they push their knees together because they didn’t know what to do with themselves.

Something had convinced Dan that the great Phil Lester was going to be the talkative, explosive personality he saw on the screen. Dan should’ve known better than anyone that what you saw in the interviews wasn’t the full truth. Phil was just another introverted awkward guy who had a knack for pretending.

“I’m going to go make a call real quick, I’ll be right back.”

Shannon had texted him back with a simple ‘call me.’

Dan stepped into his kitchen and dialed Shannons number, having it committed by memory at this point.

“Shan, what the fuck is going on. I was told tomorrow. There is one Philip Lester sitting in my lounge right now.”

He was doing the hushed whisper thing with his voice just in case Phil could hear him from the other room. He didn’t think he could hear him, but it was always good to play it safe.

“His publicist just must’ve gotten mixed up on the phone, don’t panic kid. Just play it cool and don’t forget to take the instagram photo.”

Somehow Shannons words comforted him, they always managed to.

Okay. Cool. Play it cool. He could do that.

“Okay, I’m gonna go now Shan. I’ll play it cool. I’ve got this.” He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Shannon or himself more.

“Have fun. Do not forget the instagram picture Dan.”

Right. Get that picture.

Dan hung up the phone, feeling much better about the situation now that he had Shannon’s wonderful words of wisdom.

Despite the newfound confidence, Dan was not too keen on heading back into the lounge and striking up a conversation with his new ‘boyfriend.’ Still, he did the honorable thing and went back into his lounge.

“Uhh hey. Thanks for coming.”

Phil, clearly startled by Dans reappearance, jumped a bit at the words and dropped his phone onto his lap.

“Oh uh, thanks for having me. I mean, thanks for everything. Sorry the situation is- well that this is how we meet.” Phil looked so anxious as he spoke and Dan couldn’t help but feel bad. For the first time he wasn’t thinking about how this would affect himself, Dan was thinking about how shitty Phil must feel after being publicly outed without his consent and then being forced by his management into this ‘relationship.’ Dan had a choice, Phil really didn’t.

“What? You mean you don’t meet all your friends through fake relationships to save your reputation?”

The humor certainly lightened the mood, both of them had a little chuckle. Dan felt a small sense of accomplishment for lifting the awkward tension.

“No, I’d have to say this is a first. So we’re friends?” Phil asked, still sitting on the sofa as Dan stood by the doorway.

“Well I hope so, otherwise the next few months are gonna be hella awkward.”

Again Phil laughed a little, making Dans stomach do that flip thing. This was going great, Phil didn’t hate him yet.

Dan crossed the room and sat down on the sofa next to Phil.

“Friends?”

Sticking out his hand, Dan waited, hoping Phil would shake on it.

“Friends.”

And they shook on it.  

[shookethbrooketh]

Philip Lester, D.D.S.

Summary: Phil loved dentistry, but it was one of the loneliest jobs he could have in his mind. He met so many people, but he saw them all so infrequently that he never got to know any of them, until one particular patient by the name of Daniel Howell caught his eye and his mind. 

Rating: G

Genre: AU, Dentist!Phil x Patient!Dan

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.4k

Challenge: Anti-Trope Challenge

A/N: In case you all were confused by my change in format, this is a fic I wrote for the @phanfichallenge! I got inspiration for this from the trip I had to the dentist yesterday.... Good luck. 

Read it on Ao3! Read it on Wattpad! 

Life was a bit boring for Phil. It’s not that he didn’t like his job; dentistry just got a bit repetitive. He barely even got to know any patients; it was the hygienists that spent more time in the room with the patients. All he did was look at x-rays, look at a patient’s teeth for about a minute, say a few words no patient would ever understand for the hygienists to put into the computer, and leave. He interacted with so many people, yet he was still lonely. 

Phil sat down that morning in his office, coffee cup in hand. It was ironically full of sugar, but nobody had to know that. At least their dentist was awake and competent. As he did every morning, he brushed his black fringe out of his eye and opened his computer to his schedule. He would never be able to remember it, but it was always good to get a feel for what his day would be like ahead of time. He glanced through, noting when all his fillings were taking place. His eyes finally settled on one afternoon appointment: one for a man by the name of Daniel Howell. 

One of Phil’s least favorite things about his job was that he only saw people every six months tops unless they needed a cavity filled or something of that nature, so he never really got to know anyone; he simply pretended he did every time they walked in the door. However, Daniel, or Dan, as he remembered the man liked to be called, stood out. 

He clicked on the man’s name, his computer taking him to his files. The previous appointment had been his first one there, so he only had one set of notes to read through. 

Good check-up; teeth very healthy and clean. Completely straightened, although claims to have never had braces. Also seemingly whitened. Seemed to enjoy the cleaning more than most; possible fetish. 

Phil chuckled at the end, a vivid image of Dan in his mind. In all honesty, he was quite attractive; that was Phil’s first thought seeing him six months ago, his first thought seeing him again in his head, and he was sure it would be his first thought seeing him later in the day. Phil envied his naturally curly, brown locks and chocolate brown eyes. He remembered his sense of style to be nothing but black, but in an aesthetic way. It was odd for Phil how well he remembered the man, but it happened every now and then; he started to fall for a patient, then they didn’t come back for six months. It was his job; he’d given up on it by that point. 

Phil spent the rest of the morning preoccupied with Dan’s appointment. That was probably a horrible thing, as his focus definitely should have been on accurately filling his patients’ cavities, but he’d been doing it long enough that he was sure it went fine. He was just stuck absentmindedly working through his day with his only coherent thoughts being of Dan. His appointment was the last of the day, so he had to continue to suffer through likely botched fillings, but the time finally rolled around for Dan’s appointment. 

It almost pained him knowing Dan was in the building getting his teeth cleaned by a hygienist while he was busy doing yet another filling, but he’d get to see Dan soon. He had an overwhelming amount of fillings to do that day; they were almost getting boring. That patient would be his last one of the day, then he would see Dan and go home. However, when he walked into the room he found a few complications. 

The patient couldn’t have been older than ten, and she was overly nervous and talkative. “It’s my first filling,” he kept hearing her say. Phil and all the hygienists surrounding him were desperately attempting to quiet her down and calm her about the laughing gas they were going to be forced to give her for her restlessness, but it was almost pointless. “You’re not going to have to put me to sleep, are you?” “Am I going to have this thing in my tooth forever?” It was a spiral of countless repeated questions, and by the time they calmed her down and started the procedure, Phil’s watch told him he was supposed to see Dan in about ten minutes. The procedure would take at least 15 minutes, and he still had to look at Dan’s x-rays. He hated being late, especially for him, but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. 

The filling felt like the slowest Phil had ever done; he did it as quickly and flawlessly as he could, but it still seemed to Phil like it lasted an eternity. It was really only 20 minutes, but the moment he finished he left the hygienists to deal with the girl and threw off his gloves and mask, discarding them in the trash and dashing out to his office. He spun down into his rolling chair, pulling up to his computer and opening a tab of Dan’s x-rays. He sure Dan had already been waiting a good ten minutes, so he scanned them as quickly as he could. It wasn’t as if there was much to be noticed. There was the beginning of a cavity, but it wasn’t anything to be worried about. 

He leaped from his chair, closing his tab and slowing himself to a walk as he made his way down the hallway to the room he knew Dan would be in. Trying to calm his breath, he stepped in the door. “I apologize for the delay, I was busy filling a tooth. Dan, is it?” 

“Yeah,” he said, showing his perfect smile. “Nice to see you again, Dr. Lester.” 

“Call me Phil.” The hygienist in the room shot Phil a glance, knowing well that he didn’t usually say that to his patients. “Uh, anyway, let’s take a look at your teeth.” 

“Gladly,” Dan said, opening his mouth yet somehow still smirking. Phil threw on some gloves and began examining his teeth. He noted how pretty his soft, brown eyes were up close, and cringed a moment at his chapped lips. Maybe he had some chapstick he could leave for him. Dan had a look on his face that was almost euphoric, and every now and then he let out a low growl. It was odd, no doubt about that. But it was entertaining to Phil; it was something new, and he almost found it cute. 

“Nothing to report,” he said to the hygienist, who was poised to write his reports into the computer. He tossed his gloves in the trash and turned to Dan. “I looked at your x-rays, and everything looked good. There was, however, one little cavity I think we should fill.” He furrowed his eyebrows at himself. He never has patients fill cavities that small. Why did he say that?

“Since when do you fill-” the hygienist butted in. 

“Shush!” Phil said, glancing nervously around the room. 

Dan simply wore a chapped smile. “If you want to see me again you can just give me your number.” 

Phil went beet red, his stare flashing back and forth between the Dan and the hygienist. They were both focused on him, as if they were waiting for him to respond. Phil sighed, pulling a pen out of his pocket, grabbing a nearby appointment card, and jotting his number down on the back of it. “Text me later.” 

Mortified, Phil dashed out of the room and back to his office, banging his head down on the desk. A few minutes later, he got a text from an unknown number. 

hey dentist boy. yknow, i’ve got a bit of a repressed teeth scraping kink, and you seem pretty cool. wanna go see a movie? 

Phil reread the text a solid ten times; every single word was another hill on the massive rollercoaster of a first text he received. He put the number in his phone under the contact name ‘repressed teeth scraping kink’ and packed up his things to go home to procrastinate responding before finally giving in as he walked to his car. 

Friday night sound good? 

[bie-lovers]

Gold Hoops and Silver Linings

Title: Gold Hoops and Silver Linings

Relationship: Dan/Phil

Rating: M

Word count: 1501

Summary: Look. He noticed the comments. He read them. He just wasn’t going to give the fans what they wanted this time.

Or the 100% unfactual truth behind why Dan Howell doesn’t wear those goddamn gold hoops (in public).

a/n: I really want Dan and ear piercings gold hoops. But Dan tweeted that he wouldn’t get anything gold hoops that people with poor limb control Phil might accidentally pull during sexy times. I don’t believe he meant it like this, but I couldn’t stop giggling at this idea, and I had to write it. And no, I don’t know either.

Excerpt: “They suit you. A lot.” Phil moved, let his lips travel from Dan’s to Dan’s cheek, his neck and, eventually, finally, they reached his ear, closing around the little hoop, tongue playing with it, teeth tugging lightly, and Dan moaned, giving in and giving up and grinding his hips down on Phil.

[Read on AO3]

He didn’t know exactly when the obsession had started, but suddenly most of the comments under his selfies were about those hoops, suddenly most of the fanart featured him wearing those gold hoops. At first he was confused, he didn’t get why, but after a lazy hour of scrolling through tags he began to understand. After looking at different art pieces, all depicting him with hoops in his ears, he might or might not have liked a couple of the posts.

It wasn’t his fault, not really. People kept tagging him, he was just looking through his notifications, they happened to have some really talented artists in their fanbase, okay. And, yeah, maybe he kind of digged it. Sort of.

~

He digged it enough to casually show Phil a particularly flattering painting of him in his ripped jeans and long plaid shirt, those small hoops glittering golden in his earlobes. Phil hummed, that’s really good, and looked down at his laptop again. Dan stretched and poked Phil’s thigh with his toe, no, look, Phil, really look, and Phil did. And, well, turns out Phil kind of digged it, too. Sort of.

~

“Dan.”

“What?”

“You know there’s a jewelry store a couple streets down from here?”

“No?”

“Well. Now you do.” Dan looked at Phil, brow furrowing. Phil was folding their laundry, and he was avoiding Dan’s eyes, the octopus sock in his hand suddenly the most interesting thing in the world.

“And what would I do with this new information?”

“I don’t know. We could… go check it out?”

“You never were very smooth, Phil.”

“I’m not proposing.”

“Didn’t say you were.”

“What do you mean then?”

“Nothing.” Dan smiled, wide and toothy, playing with his left earlobe teasingly, and Phil threw a pair of pants in his face.

And, okay, maybe they both kind of digged it. Sort of.

~

It was something in the air. The government releasing love potions in gas form into the air, making people’s minds swirl and purr in pleasure, or maybe Phil was a sex god, a delicious, sexy god, who was biting Dan’s earlobe lightly, and, yeah, Dan was slightly delirious. Sue him.

“They would suit you so well.” Phil was whispering, his lips never leaving Dan’s ear, and Dan realized Phil wasn’t a sex god, no, he was a magician, capturing Dan with his spell.

“What?” His brain was slightly more preoccupied with figuring out Phil’s tricks to really understand what Phil was saying.

“The gold hoops.” He almost didn’t hear the hoarse whisper, Phil panting hot breaths down his neck, leaving trails of goosebumps on his skin for Phil to follow down.

“Yeah?” he croaked out.

“Yeah.” Phil sat up then, legs on either side of Dan’s hips, a wicked smile playing on his lips.

“Want to go check out that store tomorrow?” He was fighting a smile, mischief and something else scintillating in his blue galaxy eyes. Dan knew he had just lost some kind of game, but he had no idea which, and with Phil’s bare skin so close to his he gave up trying to comprehend anything then and there, giving himself over to Phil completely as he slowly made his way down Dan’s body. It was the air. Definitely.

~

If they ended up going to the store later that day, well, Dan chalked it up to him being a generous person with a spoiled boyfriend. A spoiled boyfriend who was currently very enthusiastically pointing at a pair of small, thin hoops, these, Dan, these. Look, they’re so pretty, and Dan had to give it to Phil, the earrings were pretty.

Very pretty.

Almost as pretty as Phil, irradiated by the spotlights in the showcase, making shadows gently nestle in the curves of his face. Dan was suddenly hyper aware of their surroundings, of the other customers, of the man in a black suit behind the counter looking at them expectantly.

“Dan.” Phil was by his side, right by him, his fingers ghosting over the back of Dan’s hand, risky business, Dan thought, and he shifted slightly, get some space between them, space.

“Yeah?” he asked, and God help him, he leaned in again, close, to hear Phil’s answer or to skim his fingertips against soft hands fortuitously.

“I want them,” Phil whispered in his ear, breath hot and lips tickling, and Dan once again admitted defeat to the prestidigitation of Phil Lester.

If they ended up leaving the store only five minutes later with a small velvet box containing two golden earrings, well, those hoops were pretty.

~

Okay, so, Dan liked them. They were a fucking pain in the ass - or ear, he chuckled to himself - to get in, but the look in Phil’s eyes when Dan stepped into the lounge was worth any amount of pain they could ever cause him, Dan decided.

He sat down on the sofa as far away from Phil as he could get, eliciting a hint of a pout from him. Slowly, Dan let his feet slide along the pillows, ending up in Phil’s lap, toes brushing against his abdomen, innocently, deliberately. Phil sucked in a breath, looked up into Dan’s eyes, black pupils fighting against bright blue irises.

“Any thoughts?” Dan asked, a sly smile slowly pulling on his lips.

“Lots,” Phil said.

“I bet.” Dan lifted his hand up to his ear, let his fingers play with the new adornment. Phil’s eyes tracked every movement. The tables had turned, Dan leaned forward, his other hand falling high on Phil’s thigh. An almost imperceptible gasp left Phil’s lips as he brushed his thumb against the growing bulge between Phil’s legs, and Dan let his hand wonder up under Phil’s shirt as he shifted, placing himself in Phil’s lap. He leant in, bumping their noses together softly.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he whispered, close, so close, their lips brushing against each other as he spoke.

“I knew it,” Phil breathed.

“Knew what?”

“They suit you. A lot.” Phil moved, let his lips travel from Dan’s to Dan’s cheek, his neck and, eventually, finally, they reached his ear, closing around the little hoop, tongue playing with it, teeth tugging lightly, and Dan moaned, giving in and giving up and grinding his hips down on Phil.

So, yeah, Dan liked them.

~

“You’re hot.” The words were wet and scorching on Dan’s neck, making his skin tingle in their wake. Phil’s hands were everywhere, they were nowhere, Phil was encompassing him, was surrounding him and in him all at the same time. Dan moaned loudly as Phil’s teeth bit down on his earlobe once again.

Phil sucking on Dan’s neck had nothing on Phil pulling on those gold hoops with his teeth. Dan was writhing under him, desperate, Phil was moving quicker, faster, and as Phil impishly glided a finger through a hoop, pulling, pulling, pulling, a sharp stab of white pleasure hit Dan’s body, and then everything went soaring as bliss pervaded along every nerve ending.

Okay, so, maybe Dan actually kind of loved those hoops. Sort of.

~

They were playing a video game and he was winning, so Phil reached over to gently tug on his left hoop, and, suddenly, Dan had real trouble trying to concentrate on the game, I blame you entirely, Phil, what the hell, and Phil just smirked as he drove over the finish line in first place, Dan coming in second to last.

He lurched for Phil without much other thought than having to get his hands on him, to teach him a thing or two about fair play, and they crashed onto the floor, Dan landing on top of Phil. He simpered, but Phil just squinted and reached for the hoop again, and that was it, all bets were off. They were both scrambling for the upper hand, and Phil somehow managed to get on top of Dan, and Dan knew, instantly, that he was doomed.

Phil, with his enthralling fucking stratagems, Phil, with his tongue peeking through his teeth as he giggled, looking down at Dan, Phil, with a dangerous glint in his blueblueblue eyes, and Dan helpless but to watch as Phil leant forward, hot breaths tickling Dan’s neck as his lips closed around the hoop and he pulled. Dan couldn’t control his body as his hips grinded up into Phil’s, desperate for friction, but Phil just sat up, got off him. Dan may have pouted slightly.

“I’m… hard,” Dan mumbled, whined.

“I know.” A smirk was playing full force on Phil’s mouth, he reached out and slowly, ever-so-slowly, tugged on a hoop, and Dan couldn’t keep the moan from riding out on the wave of pleasure erupting in his body.

“I’m never wearing these again. You’ll take advantage of me.”

“That’s a lie. Lying makes you go to hell.”

“Okay, I’m never wearing these again… in public.”

“That’s more like it.”

“I hate you,” he said, but, somehow, it sounded more like its opposite.

“I know,” Phil answered, and it sounded like he did.

[ziloufs]

The slipperiest country

Summary: Dan and Phil in Greece. 

Fluffy, fluff of that time, like 3 months ago or something, where dan and phil went to Greece, and we got some prime flirting between phil and tom daley, plus a vv soft boy, ~~Shirtless~~ dan.

Rating: M (just some spicy mouth to mouth)

Word count: 3370

Read on ao3

AN: finally, after sitting on this pile of trash for 3 months I’ve curated it into something presentable. Im trying to work on my writing, and am working towards making a multi-chaptered fic. (a rlly long one)

Living so close to the mediterranean had its perks, a single plane could fly straight to a beautiful, culture rich country. Blue water, different people, new sights, new sounds. Nothing in Greece was grey and bleak. Dan and phil were looking forward to their “mini couple’s holiday”.

It had been a few weeks of preparation to get ahead of schedule on videos, but phil was working towards something he was definitely going to enjoy. A private vacation with dan; bryony and wirrow would be there too, but having them around was almost second nature; it was going to be a comfortable trip. It was Dan who first proposed the idea of Greece, and unbeknownst to phil, he and Bryony had already started planning things over coffee last week.

“Bry, it’s gonna be great, we can take a private boat out or something,  and then take a tour of the coast.” Dan said through a bite of biscotti. He held the bitten end to gesticulate the rest of his sentence. “And, since you get off work for 5 days next week--”

“It’d be brilliant! We can both take our men on a romantic getaway, away from the grey of London and into the blue of Santorini .” Bryony exclaimed, a grandiose tone in her voice.

Dan grimaced at the label, ‘romantic getaway’, but then started up with laughter. Bry joined in.

“A Romantic getaway indeed... but yeah, i’ll have to check with Phil, as I haven’t exactly told him yet.”

Bryony quirked an eyebrow.

“So this trip is just a ploy for us both to go to Greece alone, and find some hot mediterranean lads?”

This time Dan didn’t grimace. He sputtered out his coffee.

A week later they had all their videos queued, bags packed —that was a lie, Dan still hadn’t put his stuff in order, much to Phil’s dismay —and were getting ready for the early wakeup. Phil was in his pajamas, shirtless, messily combing fingers through his hair. All the while, Dan was admiring the way his back flexed and the smooth outlines of his body. They were way past the point of normal-bedtimes-for-a-six-am-wake-up, but then again, every bedtime for them was at an ungodly hour. Dan tugged at the sheets, crawling under the ten layers of fabric Phil called, “bed spreading”.

“I can’t wait to see you all shirtless tomorrow.” Dan hummed, watching Phil make his way to the bed, sporting a poignant quiff.

“I’m wearing nothing right now though?”

“Yeah, but tomorrow, it’ll be us, and the sun —plus you’ll be wearing those new swimming trunks I bought you.”

Phil made a sour expression.

“You mean the ones that I hate, because they’re too tight on my ass?”

“Yes.” Dan smirked, turning over to Phil who was reaching over to the bedside table. He snuck his hand under the duvet and groped Phil's butt.

“I mean, the trunks are fine, it’s your fault for having a big butt.”

If Dan decided to be a responsible adult, he would go to sleep. But everything was different when he had a Phil in his bed. Phil turned over to face him, fully offended. Dan gave him a peck on the lips to compensate.

“Oi! We have an early start tomorrow.” Phil grabbed dan’s hand. He didn’t want to feel like death in the morning, but fooling around with dan was getting the best of him. Maybe it was the pre-holiday excitement, or the fact that they worked their asses off for the entire last week, minimal intimacy, but Phil was slowly giving way to his desires. Dan dragged a hand up Phil's chest, and tapped it twice along his collar bones.

“Early start, early shmart Philly, I have a better bedtime remedy. Better than scrolling through twitter mentions for half an hour.” Dan cooed. He moved in closer to whisper against Phil's neck. God, it was late and Dan was really warm against him. “And it might involve my mouth.” Phil shivered. Dan looked up at him with soft eyes, his cheeks were blooming. It was still nice to be flirty and coy, even after all this time. The suggestive tones, and the playful groping were apart of the wonderful structure of their relationship. He loved Dan so damn much.

Phil pulled Dan onto himself, and grinned. “Show me then?”

_______________________________________

“Fuck.”

“We slept in.”

“ and I-- I didn’t pack yet.”

“DANnnnnnn!”

_______________________________________

They suffered the consequences of last nights activities, but in Phil’s opinion, (and Dan's by proxy) it was worth it. Last night was the bread basket to his three course meal. Dan was going to be his dinner, and Greece was the chef special; Phil immediately grimaced at the metaphor

Rushing to the taxi, they had only 45 minutes before boarding started, and the airport was 20 minutes away. Phil was feverishly calculating numbers and minutes when they threw all their stuff into the cab. Luckily, they planned on meeting Bryony and Wirrow at Heathrow and would convene in the lobby. Approximately five iphone checks later, 23 minutes had gone by, and dan and phil were bumbling out of the cab. Right near the doors to the lobby, Bry and wirrow were sat on a bench.

“Boys! Where were you?! Wirrow and I have been here for half an hour, and we bought you some coffee, but it’s probably gone cold.”

“You were also the ones who invited us, remember?” Wirrow chimned in.

“Well we uh--” Phil started.

“--I didn’t pack till this morning.” Dan said sheepishly. Bryony shook her head, and hugged them both nonetheless.

“Still glad you actually made it though.” She said. “Knowing you two, it's a miracle you guys arrive on time.”

Dan and phil were getting shit, but honestly, they deserved it. Again Phil thought, totally worth it.

_______________________________________

Contrary to popular belief, they weren't going to fly in business class —especially not with Phil in charge of their budget. It was once Phil who said, “it would be a mockery to purchase more leg room for a 2 hour flight”.

Then, it was nice sometimes. Squeezing into a plane seat, granted with anonymity around other passengers. Phil was able reach for his hand, and it would be hidden within the confines of their seat. These little moments of touch reminded him of who he was, and what he had. He felt lucky.

An hour into the flight, Phil looked up from his laptop, and glanced at dan. He was gazing out of the window. The sky was glowing, and the sun was starting to rise; Dan was very nice to look at. And, if it wasn't for that fact that he didn’t want to disturb Dan’s bubble of serenity, Phil would’ve reached out and pet one of his curls. Dan felt eyes on him. After being around someone for eight years, their little behaviors tended to be routinely. While still staring out into the bright sunrise, Dan blindly reached for phil’s thigh and rested his palm on the warm jean fabric. Phil snuck a look around the passenger cabin, it was habit. Most people were sleeping, others watching films, or gazing out the window much like Dan. Satisfied with the setting, Phil leant close to Dan’s cheek, and gave him a slow kiss. It was risky, but no one had seen and even if they did, the morning-drunkenness would’ve made them second guess their perception.

The kiss intensified the feeling. After breaking away and giving dan another glance, he looked intoxicating now: messy untamed curls, long dark eyelashes, and a face illuminated by the golden sunrise. Without hesitation he kissed him again, and when he pulled back, a little moist patch appeared on Dan’s peach-soft skin.

“What was that for?” Dan turned away from the window, his eyes flitting across the cabin. Dan stopped blushing at unexpected kisses years ago, but sometimes, Phil would catch him at a vulnerable moment, where he would be sleepy, or deep in thought. This was one of those times.

“You looked pretty.” Phil stated plainly. Somehow, in those three words, his tone reflected the illustrious descriptions in his mind. “And now you’re blushing.”

Dan was too tired to make a smart remark, so he just looked away from Phil’s stare, and let his hand on Phil’s thigh, rub softly back and forth.

“Can’t wait to get to the hotel.” Dan sighed. “I want more now, wanna kiss your neck.” He lowered his tone, and now it felt like anyone could listen in if they wanted to. Dan gave a yawn, and leaned back into his seat. Him and Phil had loads of time —that was one of the benefits of having forever with somebody— but sometimes, ‘soon’, or ‘later’ was too long a wait.

“We could go to the toilets?” Phil offered.

Dan practically snorted.

“Youre joking right? I love you, but I thought this thing we had going on, was like, going to be romantic or something.”

“Daniel howell, a romantic!?” Phil guffawed.

“Shut up, you know I’m a sap, plus our legs are too long and spindly to be pretzeled up in a plane’s toilets.”

Phil closed his eyes and rested his head against dan’s shoulder. He hummed in agreement.

_______________________________________

“Bry and I may have gone a little over-board with the accommodation, but…” Dan started.

“So you decided to book a beach-side house with a private pool!? .… and, oh my god! is that a garden terrace?” Wirrow rushed over to the neatly trimmed shrubbery and delicate pink orchids. The four of them wandered the outer property in awe. For a couple days, this was a pretty elaborate set-up.

“And the house comes with two master bedrooms, they’re on opposite sides of the house.” Bryony added. “So you know what that means…”

Phil turned a blind eye, and Dan just groaned. Wirrow was still preoccupied with the somewhat amazing landscaping that had been done to the terrace.

“Bry shut up!” Dan laughed, rushing towards the back entrance of the house. “I’ll lock you out!”

(This “threat” provided the bulk of their exercise on that trip: who could make it to the door first.)

_______________________________________

The first day had been eventful. Touring the local shops, taking a half day boat trip on the coast (which in turn provided some quality cannonball “diving” videos for Phil) and finally, mimosa’s by the pool during the sunset. Both couple’s were situated on the reclined patio chairs, Bryony lying in between Wirrow's legs, and two chairs pushed right next to each other for Phil and Dan. The sky was clear, making a perfect warm gradient of colour and the temperature was dropping, the fleeting warmth of the grecian sun washing over the terrace one last time. They all sipped their fruity beverages in silence; it had been a hot energetic day, now it was cooling, and they could wind-down like respectable adults —that being with an alcoholic beverage, and the one they loved most. As the sun left its final brilliant glow, disappearing beyond the horizon, Bryony and Wirrow stood up with their empty glasses.

“We’re gonna head inside, I won’t lock you guys out, but, I make no promises.” Wirrow said, a slightly drunk and giggling Bryony behind him. Phil looked at Dan, and then to Wirrow.

“That’s okay if you lock us out, I have dan to keep me warm.” Phil leant over the chairs and lazily pulled Dan into his grip. He peppered kisses on his cheek.

“Babe, we better leave them to their own devices, Phil is drunk drunk.” Bryony giggled.

Through the intimate onslaught of Phil, Dan looked up in bemusement.

“Right, and you aren’t?”

“Were not as drunk as you too —On sickening amounts of love, that is.” She sneered. Wirrow laughed in agreement.

“Night guys, Use protection!” they yelled from the house and in turn, Dan gave the finger in the direction of the door. So, maybe Dan wanted to make-out with boyfriend during twilight. The others had gone inside and it was too dark to make out full figures anyways. Their activities were going to stay deliciously ambiguous.

“I love being here with you right now.” Phil was kissing Dan’s neck with him on his lap.  

“Mmm, the entire boat ride I wanted to rip those shorts off of you. I don’t even care that they cost £40--”

Phil paused his ministrations on Dan’s neck, and looked at him wide-eyed.

“Dan!”

This guy, Dan thought.

“What? Also, I didn’t say stop.”

“You’re lucky I’m kind of drunk, and a little bit turned on right now.” Phil threatened, resuming the spot on Dan’s neck where he was sucking the skin lightly. They had five days, enough time for a hickey to fade, as long as he didn’t suck any--

“Harder, Phil.” Dan was really enjoying this, plus he could always wear a scarf.

Everything felt slow and wonderful, even the biting evening air was making their radius of heat, hotter. Dan dragged his fingers through Phil’s sea-water dried hair, and gently guided his face away from his neck.

“My turn.” Dan mirrored phils previous actions, while slowly dragging up Phil’s shirt. The cool night air was making everything stiff.

“Ahh it’s too cold Dan.” He whined, watching as dan pushed his shirt up to his chin, fully exposing his chest and nipples. They were definitely hard, the breeze was light, but any stimulation was enough really.

“Let me try something, and then we can go inside, yeah?” Dan asked. Phil acquiesced, then leaned in for another hot mouthed kiss. Dan ducked his head down to the pink rounds of phil’s nipples, kissing around one, and nipping playfully at the skin. Right against Phil’s chest, he could feel his buzzing heartbeat, and contracting breaths. Hopefully Bry or Wirrow didn’t decide to look out of their window tonight.

“Ahhh, too much, Dan,” Phil felt sensory numb, but he didn’t want it to stop. “We should...go...uhhh.. inside.” he said again, through broken whimpers.

With a mouthful of Phil, Dan feigned ignorance, and instead moved to his other nipple, treating it as equally rough as the last. Phil was a moaning mess.

“Now you’re just being rude, stop teasing.” Phil started.

Dan stopped and looked up at phil with wide eyes and a sultry look. His lips were swollen and slick —truly a sight to see. Even through the haziness of sex, Phil was still keen enough to admire Dan’s mussed up hair, and shining red lips.

“I want this , like right now, but not outside.” Phil chuckled, reaching out to Dan’s eager face and brushing his fingers across his mouth. He let the tip of his index finger slide beyond his lips, and Dan accepted it and sucked. It wasn’t for any particular reason, besides fulfilling his infatuation with Dan’s mouth. Dan hopped off Phil's lap and grabbed his wrist, attempting to help him up from the lawn chair. The chair caught on Phil's foot and resulted in him tripping right into Dan’s arms.

“I didn't think I could actually sweep you of your feet.” He exclaimed, while Phil was just barely holding on, clinging weakly to Dan’s shoulders.

“Fuck...you.” He muttered.

“Yeah, but we have to go inside first. You wanted to, remember?” Dan was snickering, and curving an arm around Phil's waist to lead him to the door.

“I hate you.”

“--Hate you too philly.”

Phil ducked his head to hide his grin.

_______________________________________

That was essentially how the rest of their trip went. Hot skin on skin. New freckles each day. Alcohol by the poolside and banter with friends. It was tranquility.

By the fourth day, phil was approaching poached lobster, peppered with spots, while Dan was insistently pestering him that he needed some sort of night-skin-mask, along with the “spf 200”, unless he “wanted to shed his skin in a horrible sun-frying accident.”

“Why don’t we try this one phil? Argan oil, vitamin E and… soy.” Dan offered, sifting through the entire shelf of various creams and ointments meant to aide burns on the whitest of the white. “You know, I read somewhere that soy cures burns or something, I mean it said--”

“Can’t we just get aloe? That’s good, and like, traditional.” He picked up a green bottle filled with the gelatinous plant product. “And I’m making you massage it in!”

“Fine phil.” Dan said, nudging him in the shoulder. It was a ploy for a free massage wasn’t it,  Dan thought to himself.

_______________________________________

“Y’know I heard somewhere that guys use aloe as ‘male enhancement’.” Phil said nonchalantly, as Dan squeezed the first few globs of aloe vera onto his back. They were in their room at the “villa”, situated on the luxurious white bed sheets that were soon to be dirtied.

“And why were you looking up dick size remedies?” Dan asked, spreading the gel around the most burnt part of phil’s back; the irritation was intensely bright red, and if Dan wasn’t so invested in Phil’s answer, he might have found the colour comical.

“You know I wasn’t!” Phil exclaimed, “I just went on an internet tangent, and may have seen some videos I regret.”

“Flip over I need your chest.” Dan motioned with his hands for Phil to roll. “And of course you weren’t. I’m sure this definitely wasn’t your way to get me to use aloe to wank you off.”

Phil tried to hide a blush. Dan stopped rubbing circles on his chest.

“Wait, you-- you’re not serious are you?”

“...Thats why I wanted to get it at the store,” Phil shied away. “And it’s basically lube.”

Dan moved from sitting back on his heels, to sitting over phil’s thighs, and wiped the excess aloe onto phil’s stomach. He leaned down chest to chest with phil and looked up at him.

“Babe, this is honestly not the weirdest thing we’ve done for sex.” Dan sympathized. Phil just blinked, yet his blush was maintaining. “--Besides, I thought you’d be a bit more jaded to this whole ‘let’s talk about our kinks’ thing.”

“Hey, I am too.” Phil brought his hand to rest in Dan’s curls.

“Right…. Your face is as red as your back.” Dan plopped a kiss of either of Phil’s cheeks.“-- very cute.”

“Just get the aloe.” Phil murmured, lifting his head ever so slightly to meet Dan’s lips. Dan laughed through the kiss.

_______________________________________

It was time to go home, and Dan was hanging upside down on their bed, Phil was across the room, shirtless. From a blurry view, Dan was squinting hard to count the freckles on phils back. He got to 52 before Phil interrupted him.

“Why are you hanging there in silence?”

“Procrastinating.”

“--Leaving this place you mean?”

Dan sighed, and by Phils standards, slid awkwardly out of his position on the bed.

“It’s just, when we go back, we’re going to have to do more work.”

“But it’s our new place, it’ll be nice to go home. ” Phil wandered over to Dan’s space, and put a hand on his shoulder. Dan brought him into a hug and spoke into his shoulder.

“Yeah, but you’re going to be wearing a shirt all the time now.” They swayed quietly in this dancing embrace for a little moment longer, till Phil broke away and planted a kiss on Dan’s forehead. They were looking at each other, enjoy the closeness. Dan leant up to Phil and kissed the corner of his mouth, and then squarely on the lips. He was being a bit petulant, but he really didn’t want to leave.

“As soon as we get home, i’ll do a strip show just for you.” Phil smiled, patting a hand on Dan’s shoulder.

“Phillllll.” dan whined. “I feel like I should be laughing at the idea of you doing a stripshow, but that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“Who’ve you been hanging around?”

“Only you.”

He kissed Dan hard.

“Whoa, what was that for?” Dan stepped back from the intensity of the kiss.

“I just remembered that I love you.”

“Philip Lester, a romantic?!” Dan giggled, throwing Phil’s own words right back at him.

"You know I'm a sap."  He loved Dan so damn much.

[dangoghz]

Write a fic about dan and phil and the babadook

oh god i knew this would happen —-A Ball-Badook by dangoghsWord count: 1850 (i hav no lif)A/N: WH Y,, also dan and phil basically go to a gay ball with the Babadook as their chauffeur/host. Also I have never seen the movie and I dont know whether he actually talks and if he does he probably doesnt have a Russian accent but uh oh well—-When it happened, it was 11:59 pm and Dan and Phil were having cuddles on the couch while watching a Lord of the Rings movie. Phil had his arm around Dan and they were very cozy, with a mound of blankets surrounding them and the faint voice of Gollum yapping about the ring. Phil was leaning in for a quick kiss when the clock struck twelve, and then…something magical happened. The TV turned to static. The windows opened on their own. Their blankets ruffled and the furniture shook.And then they watched as an odd black creature with a top hat flew in. No, not flew in. There was a rainbow going through their window, which it appeared to be walking on as if it was solid. How a rainbow was visible in the middle of the night, neither of the boys knew. The creature stepped off of the rainbow and onto the soft living room carpet. Dan and Phil were shaking more than the furniture was now. What was this thing? How did it get in here?The black creature had a pair of terrifying, round eyes, and a mouth of small teeth that was permanently open. Its hands were spindly and as black as the night sky. “Hyello, children. I am the Babadook.”The Babadook, the Babadook! What a horrific name. Dan quivered in fear and squeezed closer to Phil. “Why are you here?” Phil questioned, always calm, always collected. He was scared, but he wasn’t about to show it.“Do not wurry, my chiyuld. I am here only to delyiver you to my yearly ball.”“What ball?” Phil replied. Dan was clinging to his boyfriend and staring at the Babadook like it was an alien. Which it very well could’ve been, to be honest.“Vell, my yearly Ball-badook, of course! Come, children. Stand up,” the Babadook ordered, waving with its spidery hands. Dan and Phil were in too much shock to disobey it, and they reluctantly disentangled and got up from the soft couch, still holding each other in latched fingers. Suddenly, after the Babadook twitched its hands again, the air became a rainbow prism swirling around the boys. Red and yellow and blue swarmed in all directions, with beautiful sparkles in every corner of the living room.“Danyul, vut is yoor favoreet color?” the Babadook asked.“Uh-uh-black?”“You are lying. I can tell. It is obviously peenk, baby peenk. Color of squooshy baby bottom.”“WHAT? N-no-”“Dan? Is he right? I thought you hated pink,” Phil chimed in. “I-uh-”“Does not matter. Please stand very straight, Daniel, or else this will not vurk.”Dan quickly straightened his back in fear. The Babadook swished its finger and sparks flew deafeningly towards Dan’s torso. Phil’s boyfriend shouted over the roar of the magic, “WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME?” Phil couldn’t see his boyfriend anymore as he was completely enveloped in swirling glitter. “AHHH!”“What are you doing to him? Is he hurt?” Phil demanded the Babadook. If this fugly thing had inflicted even the slightest paper cut on Dan, Phil would grab it by the neck and toss it out the window.“Yolki palki, I am just changing his clothes! He is very weak boy, can’t stand a leetle discomfort!” Changing his clothes? Was this Cinderella or something? Then the sparkles parted with Dan and Phil could see him again. Except, his pajamas were gone, replaced by a lavish pink suit with a bedazzled tie. “There we go!’ Said the Babadook. "You look fabulous!” Dan adjusted his tie, blushing heavily. “Th-thank you? How-” he articulated, but was interrupted by the all-business creature.“Now, you, Pheelip. You like blue, no?”“Yes,” Phil agreed.“Okee.” And then, the magical Babadook did its thing, and there stood Phil in a dapper blue tuxedo. He had a rainbow bow tie about his neck, a foil to Dan’s sparkly. Dan couldn’t look away, because the ensemble matched Phil’s eyes perfectly.“This is amazing! How did you do that? Wait, how do you know our names? For that matter, how did you find our address?” “Eet is secret. Now, we must go, or else you vill be late.” Dan and Phil looked at each other, overwhelmed by this glorious Babadook, but they were curious as to where it would lead them, so they simply follow the Babadook to the magic carpet-like rainbow waiting at the window. It took off the black top hat it had worn on its head and gestured to the rainbow like they were supposed to just step on it. “But how does it work? What if you are tricking us and it’s an illusion and then we will fall and die?” Dan inquired. He squinted at their herald with suspicion. Why would this monster thing deliver them to a ball?“Shut up. You are a gud child, the world tyells me that, but you also very annoyeeng. I like you-”-he flicked a finger at Phil again-“byetter. Daniel, do you want to go to ball or not? Styep onto the rainbow.” Dan surrendered. “Fine!” he huffed, and stepped on the translucent rainbow carpet that stretched across the sky. Phil hurried after him, and lastly the Babadook came, closing their window behind it. They only had a moment to look out on the London skyline before the rainbow, like it was being pulled in on the other end, rushed away from their apartment building. “WhOAAAA!” Dan and Phil screamed. The Babadook simply stood stoically on the red stripe of the magic ribbon rainbow, and glared at them. “Whiny children. You make a fuss of nothing,” it remarked, leaning onto a metal cane blacker than even its dark hat. Even though the ribbon was moving at lightning speed, the three of them weren’t even wobbling. It was akin to the movement you would experience in a high-tech sideways elevator. In a couple of minutes, the rainbow finally stopped.Dan and Phil looked away from the Babadook and gasped. Rainbow columns and glorious staircases stood all around them. Guests danced dressed as colorfully as the Babadook had wardrobed them. Buffets lined the halls, where bodacious cakes of different pride flag color schemes and pizza for all resided. A disco ball refracted colorful little specks on the walls of a ….. magnificent rainbow palace. “Vyelcome to my house. A haven for everyone in LGBTQ plooss community.”“It’s…beautiful,” Dan murmured, memorizing every inch of it. “Thyenk you. Enjoy the Ball-Badook.” And with that, the Babadook bound away. Dan and Phil were both relieved to be rid of its horrid face and direly unnerved from cluelessness. “Should we…mingle?” suggested Phil. They appeared to know none of the people, and the other guests were very preoccupied with their friends and partners. Dan scrunched his pink-clothed shoulders from intimidation. “I-uh-can we not? If this is only an annual thing, I don’t want to be so preoccupied with meeting new people that I don’t enjoy it with you.” Phil shyly beamed, for he didn’t actually want to talk to the crowd either and because his boyfriend was being cute. “Of course.” With that, he took Dan in his arms and pulled him to the dance floor, where “Love Someone” by The 1975 was playing. Dan was startled with Phil’s spontaneity. How did he amaze him every time?They slow danced for a few songs, bathing in the rainbow reflections and soft atmosphere. The night had been quite wacky so far, but now the couple fekt safe and peaceful. It didn’t do harm that each of them couldn’t stop looking at each other because of their lovely custom outfits. In that moment, they were just in love with no one else in the world, and Phil leaned in for a snog and Dan leaned in too, and their lips were almo-“HEY NOW! YOU’RE AN ALL-STAR!” The tranquility was short-lived, and the calm harmonies of “For Him.” by Troye Sivan were interrupted by All-Star and the Babadook’s wretched voice. Dan and Phil broke apart, shocked. The second time their moment had been interfered with by this thing!“HYELLO MY VUNDERFUL GUESTS! VYELCOME TO THE BALL-BADOOK! IT IS NOW TIME FOR A SHORT DJ SESSION OF MY ALTERNATE PERSONA, DJ DOOK!!” tne Babadook shouted over Smash Mouth. “HYERE IS MY BOYFRIEND, SHREK, THEME SONG! ENJOY OR I WEELL KYILL YOU!”Somehow, Dan and Phil were not surprised that the Babadook and Shrek were lovers. They just grumbled in annoyance for the loud music. How long was the DJ Dook going to play for?“We might as well dance!” Phil yelled, chuckling. He grabbed Dan’s hand and twirled him round. They danced through “I’m a Believer”, “Mambo no. 5”, “Ice Ice Baby”, “Friday”, and “Spooky Scary Skeletons” before they were finally ‘ryick rolled’ by the DJ Dook. As “Never Gonna Give You Up” came to an end, Phil offered to grab them some drinks. Dan applauded the Babadook for a playlist that was simultaneously iconic and irksome. Phil returned shortly with two margarita glasses of a rainbow liquid. The bubbles inside wibbled and wobbled with the faint movements of Phil’s palms. “I’ve never seen this before. What’s it called?” Dan asked.“It’s called 'Liquid Love’. The barwoman said it was crafted by the Bar-Badook, the Babadook’s other persona.”“Uh. Okay. Toast to the Babadook?”“Sure.” They clinked their glasses, making the drinks fizz shimmeringly, and took a gulp each. What they didn’t know was that Liquid Love affected your heart, not other organs. Every emotion in it would be multiplied in power by 666. For Dan and Phil’s hearts, which were already bursting a lot more than the average couple with both love and lust for each other, this was NOT a good idea. “Whoa. I suddenly feel…extra gay. Phil, wanna climb on that chandelier and make out?”“Me TOO! You look like the hottest man on earth right now, Dan. I love your pants. Can i have them? Like now. As well, I comply one hundred percent to your chandelier concept.”——–

When they woke up, it was noon, and the rainbow of the palace had vanished. So were their gorgeous suits. Dan lifted his eyelids first to feel the comfort of blankets and his old couch. Phil was drooling on his chest. “Phil,” he whispered. “Mmmm??” Phil snuggled even closer. “Phil, it’s morning, and I don’t remember anything past when we took those weird drinks. Do you recall?”There was no response, so Dan took a totoro pillow and whacked him with it. “PHIL!”Phil opened his own eyes and looked up at Dan. He yawned adorably and stretched, accidentally hitting Dan in the nose. “Mmm… just that I felt really infatuated with you.”Dan narrowed his eyes playfully. “But aren’t you always, babe?”“Yes, but like extra.”Dan laughed. Suddenly he noticed a pastel rainbow post it stuck onto the couch. Scrawling handwriting in black ink was spurted across it. “You are byest guests I have hyad in a vile. You owe me nyew chandyelier, but eet ok. Sincerely, Babadook.”

[spacednp]

When You Wish Upon a Star

WATTPAD AO3

TW: NONE I DONT THINK besides swearing but that's legit all my fan fiction lmao wait I think I mentioned condoms once but again legit all my fanfics at this point

SUMMARY: PARENT PHAN TAKES CHILDREN TO DISNEY WORLD IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE THIS WTF

ADDITIONAL NOTES: p a r e n t p h a n i s m y k I N K

I DIDNT MAKE THE KIDS CALL PHIL DADDY BC THATS DANS JOB K? K

no but really Phil being daddy is too real

this legit is my favorite thing I've ever written asdfghjkl

WC: 3.7k

"Winne I swear to fucking Jesus if you don't stop moving for three seconds so I can put on your fucking socks I will fucking bash your head in you little shit," Dan hissed at the wiggling toddler in his lap. He loved his little girl, but she was also a brat, and that wasn't a good thing for the easily frustrated 30 something.

"Daniel! Watch your language in front of the children!" Phil chided his husband, covering their older child, Dillon's, ears.

"Papa, I'm seven and a half whole years old!" Dillon protested. "I already know all the naughty words!" Phil gasped at this and sent a glare at Dan that went unnoticed as Dan was preoccupied with the annoying little bundle of joy crying about not wanting the socks on.

"I'm no wanna!" Winnie cried, flailing her arms about. As Winnie was still learning how to speak, she had a few quirks and speech impediments. One of those was "I'm". The young child never used "I", it was always "I'm". When loud footsteps filled the house as Winnie ran about, she would scream, "I'm run!", which neither Dan nor Phil had the heart to correct her on. Winnie was their only baby. They adopted Dillon when he was 5, so they missed out on all the baby years, which they didn't want to miss again, so Winnie was born from a surrogate. Now Dan and Phil loved Winnie a hellova lot, but she was a fussy little brat.

"Goddamn it Winnie!" Dan spat as he grabbed onto the child's foot in a vain attempt to still it enough to get her foot in the sock. Dan let out a frustrated groan as he shoved Winnie's foot into the pale colored sock. "Philllll," Dan whined as Winnie kicked her sock off and caused it to fly across the room. Phil smiled slightly as he crossed the room to pick Winnie up off of Dan's lap, setting her on his hip and looking down lovingly as his very frustrated husband who was leaning back into the couch, almost melting into it. Dan smiled up at Phil and blew a curly hair out of his pink face.

"Thank you, babe," Dan said as he stood up and whipped off his sweaty palms on his dirty black jeans (they were clean, and then they found out that Winnie did NOT like peaches).

"You're welcome, Bear. Go help Dil get packed and ready," Phil said as he plopped down on the couch Dan had left unoccupied, laying Winnie down next to him. "Looks like its a sandal type of day, huh Winnie?" He asked his daughter, causing the two year old to giggle, sharp blue eyes full of happiness. God, he was going to die when she got old enough to date, he just might have to buy a gun.

Phil somehow managed to get the squirmy toddler into some white sandals with little pastel flowers decorating them that Dan said were "too fucking adorable". The family was rushing about trying to get ready as it was the day of their first trip as a family, and just like every other basic non-American family, they were going to Orlando.

"Philly!" Dan cried from Dillon's room, sounding frustrated. Phil laughed lightly, looking down at Winnie.

"Looks like Daddy is having some problems with Dil, huh Winnie?" Phil asked his little daughter as he picked her up and walked to Dillon's room, the toddler just giggled the whole walk, like she always did. As Phil entered the room covered in dinosaurs (because "they're the coolest things ever!"), he was greeted by a flustered Dan and a suitcase full of dinosaur toys, some stuffed and some plastic. Phil laughed at the mess and his upset (but still adorable) husband.

"Oh dearuh!" Winnie exclaimed in her sweet baby voice, causing even the very frustrated Dan to crack a smile. Phil rubbed Winnie's back as he looked around for Dillon, only to find him angrily crossing his arms in the corner.

"Yes, Winnie, very oh dear," Phil agreed as he met Dan's eyes. "What happened?" Phil asked his husband. Dan just shrugged his shoulders and sighed.

"Dil is being difficult," Dan said, gesturing to the suitcase full of dinosaurs and the fuming child. Phil smiled weakly and set Winnie on the ground before walking over to Dillon and crouching down to his level and looking him in his anger filled sea green eyes.

"What's up buddy?" Phil asked, aware of Dan fangirling in the background, as he always did when Phil acted all "Dad like". In the end Dan was just Phil trash #1, in any situation.

"Dad won't let me bring all my dinosaurs," Dillon grumbled, pouting slightly.

"Okay, but you need room for your clothes, how about we just bring two dinosaurs?" Phil offered, knowing Dillon would try to bump it up to three and that they could compromise like that.

"Three," Dillon countered just as Phil thought he would, to which Phil pretended to be iffy on for a minute.

"Okay then, three," Phil finally said, standing back up to full height and looking down at his now smiley son.

"Thanks, Papa!" Dillon yelped, throwing his arms around Phil's middle/waist area. Phil let out a small 'oof!' before patting his son's head and letting him hug him. Eventually Dillon pulled away and ran to pick his dinosaurs. Dan quickly replaced Dillon, wrapping his arms around Phil, causing the older man to giggle and wrap his arms around Dan's waist.

"Thank you," Dan muttered into the crook of Phil's neck. Phil loved the moments like that, when he was reminded of the years before, like in 2009 when he held Dan in the train station, like in 2012 when he told Dan they'd stay together, just times when their bodies were pressed together, two people oblivious to the world and content and happy in each other's arms, two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly, as cheesy as it was.

"You're welcome," Phil replied, enjoying the warm cinnamon smell of Dan's body wash. Eventually the boys untangled themselves from each other's arms and went back to packing.

"Philly," Dan said from where he was squatting next to Winnie who had one of Dillion's dinosaurs sticking out of her mouth. Dan quickly pulled the toy out of her mouth and tossed it to the side before Dillion caught of glimpse of what his sister was doing. The two loved each other, very very deep down. Dan and Phil knew it, but they also knew that if one even looked at something that belonged to the other, it would result in all out war, and no one had time for that when they were about to be stuffed together in close proximity for hours as they flew to America.

"Yes?" Phil asked as he folded Dillion's clothes and neatly set them in the suitcase. Most of which were tee shirts with various graphic designs on them, mostly dinosaurs. The prehistoric reptiles just fascinated Dillion, which always made his father's break into grin. After all, how could someone not find that adorable? It was near impossible.

"You have kid duty, I have to finish our packing, okay?" Dan asked as he made his way out the door, not really giving Phil an option. Little did Dan know, he had a shadow. A small, wiggly, sticky, chubby cheeked, little shadow.

"Ha, looks like you also have Winnie duty," Phil called after Dan, setting down the green dinosaur jumper in his hands to watch Winnie speed crawl after Dan. She could walk... kind of. It was more of waddling, so she mostly crawled around as her main method of transportation. Dan turned around and looked down at the tinny bag of giggles and put his hands on his hips, a stupid grin on his face.

"Where are you going, Winne poo?" Dan asked in a voice a little higher pitched and softer than his usual voice. It was the voice he talked to babies with, everyone had that kind of a voice.

"Wit Dadda," Winnie replied, still on all fours like a dog. Her pastel pink and white sported dress was flipped over so it showed her entire stomach and diaper, which made Dan wonder if they should of put shorts on under it. Dan decided it would be fine, it was only a two year old's diaper anyway.

"No no, Winnie poo, you gotta stay with Papa," Dan argued softly, gesturing to Phil who had gone back to helping Dillion pack and wasn't paying any attention to his husband or daughter.

"No no, I'm go wit Dadda," Winnie said, pulling herself up with Dan's still sticky and gross jeans that he really needed to change. She grabbed Dan's hand and waddled away, like she was trying to get Dan to come with her. Dan followed, like the good Dadda he was.

When they reached the stair case Dan scooped Winnie into his arms, and she didn't protest. She knew better. Both kids did. No one was aloud up the stairs without permission, which helped with the kids being safe and Dan and Phil being safe to do whatever they please in the privacy of their room. Plus, it was funny to watch the kids try and find a loop hole around the whole "no upstairs" rule, like "what if I have to pee and both the downstairs bathrooms explode". That one had to be Dan's favorite.

"Let go uppie!" Winnie sung, waving her chubby arms around in glee. She loved uppie, well, she did when it was somewhere she wanted to go, if Dan or Phil picked her up to go to her bedroom for sleepy time, she threw a fit. Their daughter was as much of a night owl as her fathers. Dan remembered one occasion when he picked her up in the store because she threw a temper tantrum (Dadda didn't get her the candy), and it only made it worse. Dan was so angry that he yelled at his daughter, but regretted it the second her saw how sad it made her. He was so tempted to just buy her the damn candy because he loved her so much, but he held strong, until later that night when he cried in Phil's arms. He couldn't help it, he loved Winnie an awful lot, and seeking her unhappy physically hurt him. She was his baby.

"Yay, uppie!" Dan cheered, wondering how in God's name he was going to pack for both he and Phil and watch Winnie to make sure she didn't get into anything she shouldn't be in. He knew he'd forget something, he just hoped it wasn't watching his daughter, he had no idea how he'd be able to explain to Phil how Winnie managed to swallow a condom. That would traumatize everyone involved, including Dan.

"Are you sure we have everything?" Phil asked for the millionth time. Dan nodded, trying to fiddle with his keys to lock the door. It was hard when you had a wiggly child and about a thousand bags in your arms. Okay, it was two bags, and Phil and even Dillion were carrying more, but still, they weren't carrying a Winnie.

"Yes, love, we have everything," Dan assured his husband.

Turns out they didn't have everything, in the rush to get packed and ready quickly, they forgot toothpaste. Now, since they were spending a week in Florida, they needed toothpaste. So, after hours of kicking and screaming and embarrassment from the flight, Phil had to go to a nearby Walmart and buy some toothpaste. Dan was at the hotel with the kids while Phil went, mainly because there was no way in hell Phil was being left alone with them that moment. Phil loved his kids and was even more patient with them than Dan, but the man needed a break. Even if it was just for 15 minutes, he enjoyed it. It was rare that he was the one who got a break, usually it was Dan before he actually murdered one of their kids.

Phil rushed through the rows upon rows of shelves, many of which were filled with things that seemed less than useless. (Seriously America? Who comes up with a stuffed animal that turns into a demon faced beast when you press a button?) He kept his head low, hoping he wouldn't be noticed by anyone. Usually he loved the fans and didn't mind being recognized and taking a few pictures with them, but he wasn't looking very great at the moment and would rather there not be dozens of copies of a photo where he had greasy hair and stained jeans on covering every social media cite.

Phil finally made his way to the personal hygiene area and scanned the shelves for the toothpaste he and Dan typically used. He found it and grabbed it, making his way to check out. He almost got out of the store without being recognized, until Maria behind the counter wanted a picture. Dammit. The fact that he didn't manage to go the entire shopping trip without being noticed bothered Phil, nevertheless, he took the picture with the girl and gave her hugs. She asked how Dan and the kids were and Phil said they were great and then he left, head down in embarrassment. He probably should of showered and changed before leaving the hotel, but he didn't.

Soon enough he was back in the hotel room, happy to find both Winnie and Dillion happily asleep in their shared bed. They had gotten two twin sized beds in the hotel room and hoped Winnie and Dillion would be okay with sharing, and thank goddess they were or else Phil might just cry. He walked towards the bed of his sleeping children and kissed each of their foreheads lovingly.

"Good night," he whispered to the sleeping forms as he turned to the door. He jumped a little to see someone standing behind him, but soon saw the curly fringe that belonged to his husband and felt relief fill him. Dan had his arms crossed across his chest and a loving smile across his face.

"They were very tired from being little shits for so long," Dan said, gesturing to their children on the bed. Phil giggled a little bit, Dan wasn't the most poetic person. For a boy who knew more words than anyone else Phil knew, he sure seemed to have his favorite words, which were just profanities.

"I'm sure they were, must be hard to embarrass your parents for hours on end," Phil said with a yawn. It was only eight in Florida, but in London it would be one in the morning and it had been a very long day. Dan soon joined Phil in his act of yawning and cursed at Phil for making him tired, though Phil knew it was just Dan being difficult and his words had no vicious intent.

"Let's go to bed," Dan said, giving Phil no real choice and dragging him to their bed. Phil shook his head and pulled out of Dan's grasp.

"Pajamas first," Phil ordered in a hushed voice (suddenly remembering that his kids were sleeping and not wanting to wake them), gesturing to his tight jeans. Dan, on the other had was already in his pajamas and looking very comfortable. Dan rolled his eyes and plopped down on the bed, quickly getting comfortable and tucking himself under the sheets.

Phil walked over to he and Dan's open suitcase (they decided to share because in all honestly neither knew which clothes were even his at that point, but hey, "what's mine is yours" and other shit that comes with marriage) and flipped through the mess of clothes until he found some pajamas. He didn't even bother going into the bathroom to change because his kids were fast asleep and it wasn't like it was anything Dan hadn't seen already. As he pulled off his shirt in one quick motion he heard Dan give a low two toned whistle from their bed and he just rolled his eyes. You'd think that after years of marriage Dan would give up on that cat calling, you'd be wrong. The boy was a massive flirt and since he was married Phil received all of Dan's flirting needs. Sometimes it was sexy but most times it was bloody annoying. Phil quickly shuffled out of his pants and pulled on his pajama shirt and pants before running over to check if the door and all the windows were locked. Once satisfied that they wouldn't be brutally murdered, raped, and/or kidnapped in their sleep, he crawled into bed next to Dan.

"Night night you sexy motherfucker," Dan muttered as he laid his head on Phil's chest, earning a snort of laughter from Phil.

"Night night," Phil replied, wrapping an arm around Dan's waist while using his other hand to pull the blanket over them both. Lots of sex, drugs, and death happened in hotels and Phil quite honestly had to force himself to not think about that to ever sleep in one. Having Dan next to him made it a little better, but bottom line hotels were disgusting and Phil hated them.

Slowly but surely Phil drifted off to sleep, happy that the next morning he and his beautiful family would enjoy the day at Disney World.

"Philly, I shouldn't have read all those Disney horror stories last week, you were right, I'm fucking terrified of this goddamn ride and holly shit I swear that robot just moved," Dan said in one breath, scooting as close as possible to Phil while squeezing his husband's hand so hard it hurt both parties. Phil meanwhile, was only half paying attention to Dan as he was terrified himself, but only because one of his kids, Dillion, was three rows away and he didn't want to lose his. Now, Phil wasn't all that over protective, okay, maybe a little, but any responsible parent would be afraid when their child(ren) could be in harms way, and his baby was so far away! God, Phil was going to have such a hard time sending either of his kids off to uni.

"Love, you'll be fine, they're supposed to move," Phil said, reacting over Winnie and patting Dan's knee with his free hand that wasn't caught in the death grip of a very terrified man. He stretched himself up a little to get a better look Dillion, who seemed to be having a blast. Winnie was laughing her head off in Phil's lap (it was the only way she'd be aloud on the ride and Phil knew the first chance Dan got he'd throw her like a grenade at the first thing that moved) and Dillion seemed to be screaming the lyrics to "It's A Small World". Phil was really happy his kids were having fun, but he still worried. He wished Dillion could of just sat closer to his fathers but nooo he was too cool for that. The little shit.

Eventually the ride was over and Dan was shaking too badly to hold Winnie, so Phil just set her down and told Dillion to hold her hand. Dillion was going to refuse but Phil gave him the "I swear to God if you don't do what I told you, you're grounded until you go off to uni" face and he obliged.

After a few rides where Phil and Dillion went on alone while Dan stayed on a bench nearby with Winnie, the color started to come back to Dan's face and they could go on a few more rides as a family. Then, Dillion and Winnie managed to get their fathers to get some ice cream eam (or 'i cweam', in Winnie's case), and they stopped by a nearby Dip-n-Dots cart.

"Winnie Pooh, you like your ice cream?" Dan asked, holding the now empty spoon Winnie had just taken a bite off of (Dan was feeding her because Winnie didn't really understand the concept of hot and cold yet, or spoons for that matter). Winnie nodded eagerly, a trail of melted pink ice cream falling down her cheek that Dan quickly whipped away.

"I cweam!" Winnie exclaimed, clapping her somehow-sticky hands to show her excitement. "Yum!"

Dan smiled affectionately at his daughter and felt a cold kiss on his cheek from Phil. "I swear to got Phil if you got fucking ice cream on my cheek I'm getting a divorce," Dan said, a smile on his face because there was no way he'd actually divorce Phil. He turned to his husband who had a huge grin on his face.

"Ops," Phil said, licking his thumb and rubbing it on Dan's cheek where he'd just kissed him. Dan scrunched his eyes in disgust.

"Ewie, 'pit!" Winnie cried, slapping her hands over her eyes in disgust.

"Exactly Winnie, 'ewie 'pit'," Dan replied, pushing Phil's hand away from his face and replacing his thumb with a napkin, like that would magically make the DNA on his face disappear.

"Stop with the PDA!" Dil said from across the table. "You guys are gross!"

Both Dan and Phil laughed at that, because somewhere down the line they'd become the gross couple that's always hugging and kissing in public with two adorable kids that were messy as hell. At that, was the dream. They were living the dream, a wish they wished many years before, before they even met, and as they say in the land of dreams, "when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true".