#Google I'm tired of your shit
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Bruh, it already could for so many reasons, but YouTube can doubly eat my ass right now.
What the FUCK is "Ambient Mode" and how dare YouTube automatically activate it and throttle my playback speeds?!
#all day long I've been sitting here wondering 'Why is YouTube running like ass today?'#and after fucking around with my computer settings for HOURS#I went to the video player settinsg to lower the video quality#and FINALLY saw that Ambient Mode had been activated#Google I'm tired of your shit
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I will not say what this is specifically inspired by but. I think some of y'all out there need to remember that you cannot rely on context clues alone to understand political concepts and vocabulary. Y'all gotta look shit up and actually read some theory sometimes. You don't have to do a lot just maybe. You know. Make sure people aren't misusing a term en masse as the Internet is wont to do. Check a dictionary definition every once in a while. Ask for a TLDR from a trusted source. Do the bare minimum before you start reblogging fifteen thousand posts on a topic because you want to feel well-informed and like you're doing something but your options are limited. I promise you the posts will still be there when you have a better understanding of what's going on. And then you'll have a much lower chance of spreading misinfo or being a bitch! Just something to consider
#please please folks I am so so so so tired of this#I keep seeing shit where people would have a completely different opinion if they GOOGLED SOMETHING FOR FIVE SECONDS#YOU CANNOT GET ALL YOUR INFO FROM RANDOM TUMBLR POSTS PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU#thyme.txt#limealicious.txt#politics
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#i'm done i'm so fucking tired#i want to burn the internet to the ground#i want to destroy my computer chuck my phone into a river and go live in the middle of nowhere#no wifi no 4g no nothing#i want to die because we cannot fucking escape this shit#meta using my art to train ai and refusing my request to stop#my computer not being able to run glaze or nightshade or any of those ai poisoning thingies#spam emails and text messages and whatsapp messages and bots in the comments#and just EVERYTHING TRYING TO SELL ME THINGS WHILE ALSO STEALING WHAT'S ALREADY MINE#i hate it i hate it i can't fucking stand it anymore#and you'll be like ''then why don't you go offline then... nobody's making you have an instagram account''#and you'd be right... if it weren't for the fact that i chose the one fucking career that DEMANDS online presence#i already struggle to find work as an illustrator WITH social media and POSTING MY ART ONLINE#how the fuck would I do it if people don't see my art?!#and sure people have illustrated books way before the internet existed... sure... BUT IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT ANYMORE#i'm so fucking angry and tired and frustrated that there's no way out of this#the internet is becoming unusable yet life demands it#my only option right now it to fuck myself and my beliefs and let companies steal my hardwork for the benefit of..?#having no notes in my posts except for the bots commenting ''see 👀my hole 🍑 daddy 💦 kitten 😻 ready 4 u 🤤 subscribe🔥 pay 💲 me''#i'm sick of this#i don't want to delete everything i ever posted online because A. at this point that's useless and B. again. how the fuck would i get work?#also even then... emailing my clients their finished illustrations goes through google drive or gmail...#do we think google is nice and doesn't steal images to train generative AI?#''talk to your representatives they need to make laws about this'' my fucking president is currently chumming it up with elon fucking musk#while people here are starving to death#we're literally going to freeze this winter because the genius goverment has fucked up our gas supply and that's used not only for heating#but for ELECTRICITY PRODUCTION#so we won't have a wat to heat our houses cook or even fucking SEE AT NIGHT#and you want me to ask them to make copyright laws?!#i want to die
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#oh google. how do i fight the Melancholic Aches#y'know i'd nearly forgotten it was fall#until i got sick. n it was actually cold for about two or three days in a row sdkfjghfdg#n i dunno#something something your body remembers things before you do#n it feels. like if emotions were waves and i were standing at the shore. the waves were calm up till now n#now it feels like i was pulled in out of nowhere and my lungs are full of saltwater and it's sloshing around my heart and weighing it down#it's always this time of year#is that like a universal thing? or is it just coincidence#it's like this every year. (i mourn the previous) and just generally get caught up missing things#and then you couple that with all the other given circumstances and how *lonely* it's been lately. i mean how Really. lonely it's been#because like. the years up til now (i thought) were manageable. like 2020-2022#(even though shit kind of hit the fan anyways. dfkjhfdgh. it's at least a little easier with people you love around. and it's at least a li#easier when you think they'll stay)#n now i'm just a lil lost and scared. and tired and i ache. and i am just a little sad#...#i try to make the best of things nowadays but it's just a bit much today n that's okay. there's always tomorrow#m'gonna go make some tea#sap says#i've been thinking of making a separate blog for poems and thoughts but quite frankly i can't be bothered rn. skdjfhgf#maybe sometime though
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I mean like. Not to bring the mood down but... you guys know that's because American media is everywhere right? Like the world is unable to avoid some version of American accent on a regular basis. Of course ppl find it easy to mimic. This is absolutely not restricted to ppl in the UK, its really common for ppl who learn English as a foreign language to have perfect 'American actor' accents (cause the reason everyone's so good at the American accent that's expected of them as actors is cause at large there's little distinction between regions in the 'Hollywood accent' that ends up on TV and films and stuff. You guys have massive regional differences in pronounceation, but what makes it on to TV (in 9/10 cases) is a very standardised version of American English.)
But yeah. It's not just actors lol. Most British ppl can speak in a passable american accent, as can loads and loads of people worldwide. I'm not saying this to be like 'you should feel guilty! 😡' but it does always stun me when Americans are unaware of the impact their country has worldwide on all versions of English (and even on use of native languages. Many countries are using English more and more over their native languages and dialects , and yeah, historical colonialism has had an impact there.)
But in the last few decades things have progressed way way faster and that, is thanks to the impact of anglo/american/ect lead capitalism. I'm in no way dismissing the impact the UK has on this, but in recent years, its the US that is largely pushing that train .While the UK and several English speaking commonwealth countries are very involved in this kind of capitalist imperialism, there's a reason that more and more people are speaking American English. Not one of the many UK dialects, not Australian English, or NZ English. Across the world more and more people are increasingly speaking in the same standardised american dialect that's in so much of the media you export. Hollywood based media, with that standardised accent/ dialect and the standardised 'normal american life', has a stranglehold on the world and I just find it crazy that a lot of you guys don't even know.
It's stupid stuff like. So many countries are importing american cars and are widening their roads/ changing town planning to account for it (this is less of a thing in the UK but I see it more and more when I travel). Its the food becoming avaliable everywhere. Its the influence that for profit healthcare has even on countries with socialised health systems. Its houses being built to account for American style appliances. Fashion trends. Worldwide, everything is slowly evolving to be closer and closer to this 'American standard' which honestly? I really don't think actually represents the lives of real American people either. You've been turned in to products, the system has taken an unrealistic snapshot of 'American life' and it's being sold to you all day in day out, but it's also being sold to the rest of us. It's being pushed on us all.
Kids in the UK go through phases of talking only in American accents. Anyone born later than the 90s is carrying round 2 sets of spelling and vocab, cause we're all so used to the American way, that you barely know which one you're using half of the time. In the UK we have always had really strong regional accents yeah, and dialects differ between areas that seem tiny to you guys, I know. But like. Those dialects are being lost cause all UK accents are evolving to become closer to this standardised american and yeah not great, but at least we share a language! US American society is largely rooted in the same foundations as UK society, largely we have the same flaws! But oh my god. What about the rest of the world.
It's global. This impact continues to be seen, steamrollering ahead, in places that had completely different starting points. UK culture isn't that dissimilar to that of the US, so we aren't losing nearly as much as cultures that had something completely different. So much is being lost.
Languages and dialects and everything else is just being wallpapered over so we all meet the same ideal of the 'American life' and it's not even real! It's just a product based on how ppl were actually living in the US, manipulated until it's the most marketable mould. You guys are victims of it as well but like. It's based on your culture so you don't lose as much if you conform to it. Just like how in the UK, if we conform, we lose more than US, but nowhere near as much as countries that had languages, dialects and cultures that were so so different to UK/US culture. The less like the US, your starting point, the more there is to lose.
And look. I said it to start with. I'm not having a go. That's not what this is. But you guys really need to be aware, you need to make an effort to understand the impact that this plastic Hollywood american culture is having on the rest of the world. You need to actively look for it, and make an effort to not pay in to it. Because when Americans see other cultures represented in media and say its not relatable, when you guys go on holiday and make no effort to learn local customs, and try and pay in dollars and spend your time abroad like you're still in America, when you see cultural differences and immediately argue that the American way is better and of course everyone should have giant cars and never dry laundry outdoors and live in American style homes, without any kind of critical thought. Just 'this is how we do it so why wouldn't everyone else do it this way. This is the only way. The American way is obviously best.' When you guys do that you are individually feeding in to this absolute bulldozing of cultures (including American ones!) to allow for better marketability.
It isn't any one individual American citizens fault that things are the way they are, and you guys are victims of the same system, but you need to have some self awareness when it comes to the fact that as individuals you are unknowingly, helping driving this forwards and as individuals, there are things you can do to limit your personal impact (and no arguing that you have no culture is not it!!! Being all self deprecating doesn't do shit. Take some responsibility and accept that individual Americans didn't create this system, but currently, individual Americans really are doing their bit to keep promoting it, to keep pushing it on the rest of the world.
And I've already rambled for an age so I'll stop here but I just want to make clear as an ending note here, that this really isn't about piling on Americans and being all 'boo it's all America's fault. They should apologise. Their culture isn't worth anything.' Not at all this is the opposite of that. The fact that millions of Americans have been convinced you have no culture, all while a mimicry of American culture is plastered on to the rest of the world, and while you as individuals are encouraged to help that happen, often without even realising what you're doing; is a crime. You've been wronged, as have we all.
And America is not the problem. The problem is imperialism and it didn't start with you guys. It started in Europe, and Europeans, particularly British ppl, have a responsibility to push back and be self aware, take some fucking responsibility and not inadvertently keep feeding in to that system, just as you guys do. The US didn't start the fire, imperialist capitalism is a fire that started burning long before the United States was even considered, but its on all of us, to do what we can to not feed that fire. And right now? You guys are the face of it.
This idea of what America is, is the face of imperialistic capitalism, and that means that even if you don't mean to, you guys are feeding that fire more so than the rest of us. You're responsible for spreading it, more so than the rest of us. And if you don't step up and take responsibility, accept that you're gonna get it wrong sometimes and you need to try to do better; if we don't all do that. There will be nothing left. They'll paper over it all, the lives of real Americans just as much as those in Scotland and India and the Netherlands, and 100 other cultures, that are at risk, thanks to this fire, that's currently, largely coming from America.
So yeah. It's absolutely not just on you guys and ppl who act like there's no racism or wealth divide in Europe or anywhere else for that matter are complete idiots, however, this Americanisation of the world (and I hesitate to call it that. Because its not a representation of real American lives. Its simply wearing an American face.) Its real. It's happening.
And we don't tell you about it to make you feel guilty (those of us who aren't dicks at least) ,we are telling you. We are kicking up a fuss. Because it isn't fair. It's not right and while individual Americans ignore that and refuse to take responsibility where they can (small apples. We aren't asking for you to call a violent revolution in our names. Just take some time to learn about the rest of the world. Stop assuming America is always right and examine your biases. When you find them. Stop personally pushing them.) , while that is happening, as individuals, you are contributing to this. It's not even altruism. This system is hurting Americans too. It's hurting us all. All we ask is that you do what you can to not personally contribute, and keep an open mind, be aware. That's all any of us can do.
when a british actor does an american accent everyone’s like “i didn’t even know they were british until they were on colbert.” but when americans do a british accent everyone’s like “they’re supposed to be from east cocksford but their glottal e’s are north dicksford. shameful.”
#so yeah sorry to rant but honestly#I'm so tired of ppl refusing to take responsibility on every side of this#imperalistic cruel capitalist regimes going 'well hey. at least we aren't America. this is their fault.'#meanwhile. Americans contribute to the bulldozing of their own cultures to make room for a capitalist monster wearing them as a mask#and if you call out any Americans or make them aware of something they are doing individually that isn't helping. it's either#refusing to see/ accept their own bias. or just as bad! yes! just as bad!!! america is beyond help. there's nothing worth saving#nothing we can do. that's bullshit and making stupid excuses like 'oh our schools don't teach us to respect other cultures'#'we don't know how.' fucking learn! try! that's all anyone asks of you. nobody cares about your schooling. school is shit for working class#ppl in most countries!#you think the english curriculum is any more balanced? we're subjects of a colonial empire. it's propaganda and its not even competent!#i don't think the average American understands how many more hours of schooling they get vs a lot of places. I'm not saying it's right#but teaching time? you guys have longer school days and you stay in school till youre older. our national curriculum ends the year we turn#16 in the UK. year 11 finishes in June. you can leave school 2 months shy of 16 to get a supermarket job. (and many working class ppl do)#and our government still pat themselves on the back and say its eqv. to high school finishing at 18 in other countries. like for context.#i haven't had a geography lesson since i was 13. my last english lesson? i was 15. that's completely normal here. so yeah. the#'our schooling was shit so we can't use Google to learn a bit of geography' falls pretty fucking flat. sorry.#they should have done better by you but they didn't. join the queue. do what you can and take some fucking responsibility now#the only way out of this is for us all. American and otherwise. to do what we can. be self aware. try to be better. keep learning#because if you fall to apathy? capitalism wins. if you believe the propaganda? capitalism wins. if capitalism wins we all lose#the system is designed to wear you down so you're too tired to remember that it doesn't have to be this way.#that's been happening for decades and it's why things are such a mess now. the only way out. is remember there is a way out#climb towards it. do what you can. it seems like low hanging fruit. it doesn't look like enough to change anything.#but there are more ppl being hurt by this system than those benefiting. 99% of us. if everyone picks an apple. that's a lot!#that's a fucking lot! keep going even when it seems like you aren't making progress. make your voice heard. vote. don't passively support a#system that's on its way to destroying you. destroying us all. do what you've got to do to live. but don't forget that all the things that#seem like they don't matter? really really do matter once you add up everyone's contributions. you can't control other ppls actions only#your own. but your contribution matters. your vote matters. your voice matters. join the union. educate yourself. stay curious. question.#the informations out there go online learning 1 thing. challenging 1 bias is better than all or nothing. i dont have time to learn anything#small apples. low hanging fruit. the oceans made up of billions of drops. the longer you don't try. the longer you've no chance of success#we can do better. we can absolutely all do better.
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i've machine-translated fics that looked interesting but were in languages i don't know before, but i would trust the quality of a translation done by an actual human native speaker wayyyy more. i don't really believe it's possible to get all the precise nuances of what the author intended otherwise, and i care about that sort of thing. doesn't mean i won't give it a try if the tags sound like my cup of tea, but it's usually obvious when there is a lot more richness to the original text than can be conveyed via automatic translation.
Oh no you're absolutely right on that, anon, a human translation of any kind will always be better than an automatic one! but it is unfortunately pretty rare to find fics translated that aren't like, hyper famous you know? and even then, translations of that kind are mostly english-to-something else, and not the other way around :/
Still, checking a fic if the tags are interesting is the bare minimum of what I ask, and I'm glad you take the time to do it 😌, my angry rants are mostly directed to those who don't even do that or, even worse, go to a fic in another language only to comment "this looks interesting, I wish it was in English though so I could read it :/" (which is a real comment I've gotten in the past)
#I appreciate your ask anon!!#I know my rants are kinda strong worded but all I ask is for a bit of curiosity#the nuances in writing are important and sadly they don't replicate well in google translate or others. but let's be honest here.#A lot of people just want to read abt their otp kissing and most will read works of Varying Degrees of quality in english#yet wouldn't even touch a machine translation. I hardly think Their reasoning would be the richness lost in translation :/#tani's personal shit#again I do appreciate the ask. If I seem pissy is bc it's 2 am and I'm v tired u_u
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computer define underdog
#bluebird.txt#google search how to explode my brain with hammers to reset into a functional normal person#how fucking hadd is it to be perfect it's not that hard. you just have to do everything!#but you can never do everything. sometimes you can't even do one fucking thing.#and time moves forward so quickly. go back i didn't do it right. i need to try again. i can be perfect this time i promise.#and i can't but i can and then i can't again but i can't but i can't BUT ITS NOT THAT HARD#HOW HARD COULD IT POSISBLY FUCKING BE!!!!!!#just do it. it's not hard you can just od it. if's not rhat hRd.#JUST FUCKING DO IT#but you can't. even though it's so fucking easy. look at everyone around you doing it and they don't give half as many shits as you do#you're fighting for your fucking life tryi to come out on top and everyone's on too sipping their drinks complaining that it's a little hot#today#what i would give to feel like it was easy. what i constantly give that never feels like enough#but i will say#one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me#was my professor telling me ghat a grad student told her they wished they'd been like me when they were younger#and another two grad students just last week going out of their ways to tell me i did a good job#when that 'good job' felt so shitty i went to the bathroom to suck in my tears bc my day still wasn't fucking over#life is never over it just keeps going and you get up and you get up and you keep going and it's hard and annoying and i'll never be perfec#and i don't think i'll ever- apart from those brief glimpses people give me of what they truly think- ever see myself. i can only ever see#the mirror#or the inside of my eyes#but i'll never see myself as i am#so maybe i don't have to freak oht?#maybe i should just sleep#time to go listen to vienna and cry more maybe#i'm fine. i'm just tired and lazy and tirada en mi cama and can't reach my journal from here. el oh el.#save me help me. i want to feel peace. i can't wait to be older. i can't wait to find my way.#please.
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i'm going to hit someone with a metal pipe
#moxxtalks#i'm trying to do shit with google but i fucking can't because i don't have a phone number#i'm not in a position where i can get a phone#but EVERYTHING fucking EVERYTHING needs a phone number#i went to a resturaunt recently and had to ask for a physical menu instead of the qr code#i didn't have a phone and my friends didn't have one on them so we couldn't even see the options#so many things everywhere i go saying 'scan this qr code' 'input your phone number' 'open the app so you can do this'#it sucks bc i don't have a phone and even my friends with phones can't use it easily#some leave their phone at home because they just don't want to deal with it#some can't remember their number because they're dyslexic and can't remember the order of the numbers#and it's just a hassle for some because some of those fucking apps are hell to use#i'm tired of this shit and not being able to live in the world as easily as others because i can't get a fucking phone at the moment
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it's just that there's a few more steps you have to take that other people don't have to take, but they don't see the steps, so they think you should be able to hop from moment to moment, a chickadee.
it isn't getting out of bed. it is the weight, the hook in your chest, the anchor. you have to move the anchor first. you have to silence your alarm, but your phone is in your hand, which means now you have to put the phone down, which is too-hard. you get stuck in there for a while, the white screen, mindlessly scrolling. you don't even like this activity, have tried a few other options but - here you are, and time is passing.
you've googled iron deficiency causes depression and if i drink enough water does it help with mental illness and anxiety but no caffiene within the last two weeks, like how you googled am i gay quiz at 17.
it isn't just calling the doctor back, it's the anxiety, it's these little moths in your lung cavities, furious and fluttering. you need to figure out how to capture your fingers from between their nervous bodies. you are an adult, you can say the words yes hi, i'm calling because i need - but you need to practice first. maybe write it down because what if you misspeak, wouldn't that be embarrassing. write it down, but you need to find a pen first. well, actually, your desk is kind of messy. you should get a new pen. you should get a new organizational system. you should try journaling.
your grades in school were always strange. the way teachers would say things like it feels like you're not trying. you could touch stars in the stuff you cared about. well, sometimes. god be willing. homework average zero. oops! your english teacher's wrinkled brow: i know you know this stuff. what the fuck are you doing?
it isn't the showering, it's the mirror before the shower and the soft horrible pull of your naked physique. you have to avoid eye contact completely or else it'll be 93 minutes later and you'll have picked at your skin until every little pore is bleeding. you have to stand up but standing is tiring and also you should have remembered to buy more soap but you never remember anything. maybe get out of the shower and while it's still running and you're still dripping wet, use your phone to take a note. make a note to get your groceries. let the shower run while you stand half-in half-out and get lost in your phone for a moment. come back out when the water runs cold and now you have to sprint to get ready.
your grandmother's frown. you're just being lazy. protestant work ethics in a house that isn't even protestant. she says she just learned different but she means learned better, doesn't she.
it's not that you can't send the email, it's that your hands have been hurting lately and the desk really is messy and also why the fuck would you even care about this thing? doesn't everyone else feel like they're drowning? hi brendon thanks so much for sending! will review and get back to you shortly. but now you're on the internet, close the tab with tumblr on it. go on, close it. feel the little soft vapor of boredom come up and over your eyeteeth and make everything overwhelming and itchy.
literally all you have to do is put on shoes to go outside. you're literally already dressed, that's the hard part of this whole thing. literally just put the shoes on. just... do it! do it! this shit is easy!
it's literally that easy. just stop taking all those stupid invisible steps. stop following your strange made-up rules. times like this, even you're positive you're faking. you just don't want to bother with the cleaning and the cooking and the being-an-adult.
but then - shouldn't you be able to put these stupid shoes on? nobody's even looking. go on kid. life is out there! just take the leap!
get moving.
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6f0c7183e074f004ecf02aec5105bdd7/3bfb99bef4005d2c-c7/s540x810/d1bb0f9b22b9168cb6b15e9d00b3a8b70bf7ad1a.jpg)
Magnetic
“You wouldn’t look at me.”
“I saw plenty.”
“In my eyes.”
“…Does it matter?”
~
summary:
Bakugo Katsuki, No. 3 Hero in the charts, massive amounts of tan girls, always invited to galas, events, and even award shows along side his peers, but he has never once gotten a dating scandal in his whole career. Has never even looked in a woman's direction. So you can be certain he won't change his actions when artist Y/N is invited to sing at a private Christmas Gala hosted for hero's to celebrate the season and a year well done of duties...right?
Singer, artist, model Y/N, has it all. Looks, wealth, awards, friends, family, and boyfriends.. her music revolves around her relationships and past relationships along with her mental health that she speaks about through her music. She gets asked to gigs almost every day but few are lucky to book her, when her team gets a request for the Christmas Hero Gala which is highly exclusive, she immediately agrees to entertaining the hero's, excited for the night she doesn't realize she caught a certain man's attention in the back of the crowd..
• slow burn - secret pining - romance - bold Y/N, shy Katsuki - vice versa - celebrity!y/n x aged up!katsuki
• following contains, eventual smut, mentions of suicide, alcohol, mental illness, heavy party scenes and probably more !
• 18+ only!! this is your warning
• the rest of the celebrities mentioned in this series i do not take credit for, and the songs mentioned all writing ownership belongs to them! i do not take credit except for this fan fiction!
!! just a friendly reminder this is all fake, simply my imagination placed into writing !!
Chapter one
intro
After Kirishima left Katsuki alone in his hotel, Katsuki much to his dismay went through a whole social media dive on Y/N. Research, is what he told himself when he scrolled through her Instagram. Photo dumps from her and her friends, including a few actors Katsuki was familiar with, a picture of her dog, Bell, a candid photo of her in the studio, headphones placed on her head.. 'She's pretty' he thought but quickly brushed it away.
Yeah, Katsuki was extremely private when it came to his love life, so what? Was that a crime? Not at all, he had a disgust for the media and he sure as hell didn't want strangers all up in his personal life, it's how he has always been even from his UA days.
All of a sudden his phone started blowing up from the group chat he had with his friends. Kirishima sent a video from some Hollywood website, headlined "Y/N seen getting off at an airport in Japan". the video showed Y/N in a baseball cap wearing all black and a few bodyguards surrounding her, screams were blasting from his phone, flashes bouncing off her as she walked keeping her head down.
"For fucks sake.." Katuski scowled at the video, where's the humanity in following someone around? God he hated paparazzi.
Buzz Buzz.
Shitty Hair - OH GOD! this was today! she's here in Japan!
Raccoon Eyes - EEEK! I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW, WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'LL WEAR?!?!
Bob Head - oh god! that's a lot of pap.. i hope she's okay :(
Nerd - Yeah.. I'm sure someone like her is used to it but, wouldn't that get a little draining?
He hated to admit it, but Deku was right, shit, having people scream your name everywhere you go has got to get tiring.
Shitty Hair - yeah, I'm sure it is tiring, but that's what you get in that industry, hell guys even we get that
Shitty Hair - …but seriously, I think she's gonna wear black
Pump Legs - She's definitely wearing red
Raccoon eyes - I SECOND THAT!!!!!
Shitty Hair - NO?!?
Shitty Hair - Katsuki! what do you think?
- i’m not participating.
Dunce Face - the obvious answer is green
Pump Legs - Wanna bet?
Shitty Hair - KATSUKIIIIIII
- white.
Shitty Hair - WHITE?!
Bob Head - waaaiiiittt cause i can see it..
Aaaand that was Katsuki's queue to exit the group chat, he scoffed to himself and was just about to go shower but curiosity got the best of him. He groaned before googling her name. Pictures and articles popped up of her when one of them caught his eye. "BREAKUP?! Y/N and Cole Malter’s 1 year relationship comes to a CLOSE" Katsuki's interest was peaked and he clicked on the link, scrolling down pictures of Y/N at red carpets were displayed, a tall guy with black hair and a cocky look in his eye was seen standing next to her. A very obvious grip on her waist. Katsuki narrowed his eyes and thought, ‘Who even is this guy?’ before realizing he was an actor on a popular sci-fi show Deku was once talking to Sero about during one of their movie nights. He could tell immediately this Cole guy was an asshole, just by the way his lips curved up into a smug grin and again that tight possessive grip on Y/N's waist. Katuski glanced over at Y/N trying to read her expression but was only met with a bright smile that creased the corner of her eyes a little.
Scrolling down on the article, according to a source Cole's very “open” drug addiction was one of the reasons for the split. A video was attached bellow showing Y/N and Cole late at night in LA by a crosswalk, Cole was clearly drunk out of his mind as he threw himself on her while laughing. Y/N's face was anything but happy. You see her shaking her head at him before turning him as she spoke, Cole throws his arms up in a defensive way, but Y/N keeps at it. She moves her hands in a expressive manner as Cole lights up a cigarette, seconds later he puffs smoke directly in her face..
Y/N stands there no longer speaking and turns back in front of her with a blank expression on her face, Cole laughing, no remorse shown. The video ends there.
Katsuki scrolls to the comments,
user62946: omfg it's so obvious he's high on TOP of being drunk.
y/nforpresident: what an ASS. I would've dumped him too.
maggieisabbi: when I see stuff like this I always think if people were dropped on their head as baby
reply/user72048: LOLLLLLL
kentuckyfriedchicken: didn't he just get out of rehab too??? how long has this been going on
deluluisthesolulu: I feel awful for her, my partner for 3 years was a druggie, by far most draining experience EVER. glad she got out when she did.
Kastuki shut his phone off after reading a couple more comments. A pang of sympathy rushed through him for her, he immediately clocked it and shook his head, he has no relation to her, tomorrow night will be the first and last time they ever crossed paths.
"Why do I even care?"
-
Y/N was awoken by a knock on her door, her manager, Crystal and long time best friend came through after announcing it was her. Y/N groaned dramatically when Crystal pulled the curtains open, the sun stinging her eyes immediately.
"CRYSTALLL."
"Wake up hun, we gotta get you ready for tonight."
Y/N's eyes opened at that, when her team got a request for her performance a month ago she was thrilled to say the least, she loved gala's and being able to have more domestic performances like she was just another girl with a voice.
"Uh?? Hello!! Yes!", was the first thing she said when Crystal pitched the idea to her.
Y/N was a big fan of the heroes and felt like her dreams were coming true when she realized she would meet some of her favorite ones! Not realizing they were just as excited to meet her.
After an hour of hair she was now sat down on a high chair, her makeup team working away their magic, she texted her mom letting her know how the preparations were going. A text came up from Cole, Y/N stared at it her stomach swarming with anxiety, she swiped the text away not even bothering to read what he had texted. With a deep breath she shut her phone off and focused on getting ready.
"Was that Cole?", Crystal asked with a hint of worry.
Y/N shook her head, "Doesn't matter, when I go back to LA I'll deal with him then.."
Cyrstal stayed silent, fiddling with her bracelet, "Just.. be careful? This isn't the first time he's come crawling back and-"
"I've got it handled Crys."
"-No I know it's just.." she sighed looking deeply into Y/N's eyes, "guard yourself, don't succumb back into what he wants."
Y/N extended a hand, holding Crystals hand with a small squeeze, "I won't."
Crystal smiled, “Good, now chop chop people we have to be out the door and on our way to the venue in less than thirty minutes!!”
Y/N smiled, Crystal completely back on manager duty, her mind went back to Cole, thinking about the last in person conversation they had.. Cole was almost on his knees asking her not to leave him, but she was too tired to continue on with him and his actions, she didn’t care about her image, if Cole needed her by his side during his recovery out of his addiction she would, and she was, but he just wasn’t meeting her halfway, and in the end the only person getting hurt was her.
“Hey babes?”, Kelly, her makeup artist spoke up, “I’m intrigued, who are you most excited to meet tonight?”
Y/N was pulled out of her daze and smiled brightly, “Now there’s a question I want to be asked! ..Hmm, honestly? I adore Red Riot, his quirk is so coool!! His whole friend group seems like such sweet people”
Crystal jumped in, “Oh yeah, i read somewhere they all went to the same hero school, UA or something”
Kelly nodded, “Yeah the top 3 hero’s are in that group as well… gonna be completely blunt, that Shoto hero…? Such a good looking guy”
Y/N snickered while Crystal laughed, “Oh my gosh let’s talk about it, that guy you mentioned Y/N, Red Riot? He could do whatever he wanted to me and I’d thank him”
“Haha-! What the hell Crystal?!”
Crystal and Kelly laughed along with some of the other staff working who overheard the girls conversation
After Kelly stopped laughing she asked, “What about you? Who do you find attractive from all the hero’s?”
Y/N shook her head, “No way in hell am i answering that-”
“Awww come onnnn!”
“No!”
“Please?!”
Y/N sighed, a small smile betraying her, “Uhm.. well Dynamight’s pretty cute-”
A squeal from the two girls pierced Y/N’s eardrums, “Oh my god shut up both of you! Aren’t we on a time crunch? I’m still with the same unblended concealer I had five minutes agooo!”
Crystal shook her head grinning before clapping her hands and ordering people around, Y/N smiled as a giggle escaped her and Kelly.
“Isn’t Dynamight the really loud and brash one? I heard he once cussed out a reporter on live television”
Y/N nodded, “Yeahh.. but that reporter did ask him a really stupid, out of the box question, so i think it’s completely valid”
“Yeah but doesn’t he like hate is fans or something? Anytime he’s at fan signs he always look so miserable”
Y/N pressed her lips, “You know he once saved two children from an apartment complex that was on fire and was about to crumble within seconds? He even helped an old lady at the grocery store cross the road because she was afraid to make cars stop for long just so she could go?” she paused for a moment, “Does he sometimes come off as loud? aggravated? mean? yeah, but so do we, that man has seen things and experienced things we couldn’t even imagine,” she ends with a shrug, “I’m just not convinced he’s truly like that”
-
Later into the evening Y/N was behind a secluded corner, preparing herself as she was about to go on stage and sing for the heroes she peaked out a curtain to see everyone gathered around, shes preformed in front of filled to the brim stadiums, always feeling confident beforehand and right about now she needed some of that confidence.
This was a more domestic appearance, they didn’t come here to see her, she came here to be the one to bring on a show for them and bring it well.
“You are 3 minutes till entrance Ms Y/N”, spoke out a tech staff that was helping for the night, she thanked them and noticed they were still lingering, “Is something the matter?”
“Oh! No- no i just- well, could i get a picture?”
Y/N smiled, “Of course!”
She finished up with the staff and began to take deep breaths to ease her stress
Suddenly microphone feedback rang in the air and a rough voice spoke out, it was All Might, one of the greatest hero’s about to make a speech.
“Ahem, hello everyone good evening, it’s good to see everyone here and thriving.” applause erupted, “As you know this year was filled with its challenges, hardships and struggles.. a lot of you have been placed in situations where some of us couldn’t handle. Some were forced to make difficult decisions, some of us easy ones.., but at the end of it we completed what we chose to do, and that was make the world a safer place.” applause filled the room a second time, “Now, it is time to relax, celebrate the holiday season, enjoy friends and old faces we haven’t seen in a while and most of all, pat one another on the back for yet another great year of hero work!!” some heroes let out whistles and cheers
“Now i won’t bore you any longer and skip to the part i know we all.. have been waiting for, ladies and gentlemen! Please give a loud and warm welcome to the woman who is by far the voice of this generation.. Ms Y/N!!”
Y/N’s heart felt like it got squeezed at the lovely compliment given to her, All Might stepped off the stage and the lights going completely off, a few gasps let out, she walked out onto the stage, careful not to trip, standing in front of the mic stand, her iconic jeweled microphone in her hand.
Flash
The lights came back on in an instant revealing Y/N standing in a beautiful while shimmer dress, her curled hair draping down her back, her cheeks rosy, her eye shadow glittering from the lights, a smile peaking out from her glossy lips.
“Heroes how we doing tonight!?”
Applause was not hesitated the minute she spoke. As the music began to play, a familiar christmas chime filling everyone’s ears, Y/N looked around the crowd seeing everyone’s faces and smiling before her eyes locked on dark red ruby ones, the eyes no doubt belonged to him.. Katsuki Bakugo.
authors note:
never in my whole time of being here on tumblr would i ever think i would have the guts to publish something, and when i finally do it received a lot of love and attention! (at least in my eyes)
seriously all the love from the intro made me so happy and i’m glad you all love it!! as requested here is a taglist! comment if you want to be added as well :}
ps. look out for a moodboard i’ll be posting! ;}
@d1orhaz3 @stoned-anime-babe @yjploum @penguinsravioli @mutsu422 @anonymity-222
#katsuki bakugou#mha#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugo angst#bakugo smut#bakugou katsuki#eventual smut#katsuki bakugo x reader#fanfic writing#fanfic#new writers on tumblr#idk what else to tag#katsuki bakugo mha#mha smut#mha x reader#mha fanfiction#billie eilish#celeb rp#katsuku bakugo smut#smut#bnha bakugo katsuki#my hero academia#bakugou x y/n#bakugo fluff#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugo katuski#bakugou x you#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x you
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Do you seriously, actually ship it?
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a51d29ad7be13a68fb74dea87c36a7f2/ec6bed58f576ce84-0e/s500x750/985719c9dfc75ef00a51f1f103faf09b331478c6.webp)
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Okay. Lets talk. Because apparently some of you are defending... well... "that" (under the cut)
"He's autistic! It was a stim!"
If you genuinely think that this has ANYTHING to do with autism, you are an objectively stupid person. Like, your brain is so fucking smooth, it puts the surface of freshly tempered glass to shame. You're a barely functional reprobate with subhuman intelligence who has no idea how to form thoughts so you let a 50 year old billionaire who spends too much time on his phone decide your thought process for you.
"He was throwing his heart out to the crowd!"
Now, I don't really play baseball, basketball, netball, or any sport where you throw anything other than sometimes darts, but... is that how you throw? You perfectly extend your arm at that angle? Twice? After spending years posting tweets that very much align with Nazi viewpoints? Do you throw a pitch in baseball and scream SIEG HEIL as the ball hurtles towards your opponent? No. Stop being a fucking idiot. This was deliberate. He did it twice.
"He's autistic! He doesn't know better!"
Please comment if you actually think this so I can personally call you a stupid cunt and block you. We absolutely do know better. Autism and Nazism aren't mutually exclusive.
"You're inhibiting his free speech!"
1st amendment only applies to censorship from government positions of power, which I am not, as should be obvious from the fact that I have no power to censor him. Though I shouldn't have to explain that.
"Well, he's gonna get away with it so stop being so sensitive!"
Yes. He is. But that's not a flex, that's A FUCKING MASSIVE PROBLEM. Call me sensitive if you want, but absolutely every single one of you should be offended by this. Did you pay attention in history class, or were you too tired after a long night of being fucking railed raw and bone dry by propaganda on Twitter? Moron.
"Well, he's rich and you're not, so there!"
Yep. Got me there. He's rich, and I'm not. Yknow, Hitler and a lot of Nazi officers were pretty minted too. So was Epstein, King Leopold, Stalin, Jimmy Saville, every MP currently serving in parliament... but sure, they're great people because they're rich, right?
"You're just a stupid offended libtard!"
Google "The Holocaust".
"Well, you're still using his app!"
His app? You mean the one he bought, then fucking ruined because he has no idea how to run it, right? And you because its basically impossible to find mutuals as a vtuber without it, you knew that, right? "His" app, please, you probably think Ronald McDonald makes your burger when you order McDonalds, you moron.
"If we punish Elon for this, then that's a violation of the first amendment!"
You mean like banning tiktok, removing any and all talk of election rigging, then putting it back up the next day? Or maybe like deleting any criticisms of you and your nazi salutes under your recent tweets despite it blowing up everywhere else? Or does that not count because its something you agree with? Yeah. You've been cucked harder than Sneako and you don't even realize it. Elon and his government buddies are leaving your free speech rights looking like this
Aaaaanyway
I find it well and truly laughable that so many people like Elon will say all this insane shit and do all these fucking heinous things and people will defend them. Like how that gun woman who shit herself says stuff like "I'm not homophobic, I just think gay people are disgusting and that they should die" or that comedian nobody finds funny anymore spends hours whining about trans people but says he's not transphobic.
Lets all be on the same page for once and have the balls to say what we actually think. Elon got so close, but being a spineless edgelord who doesn't have the balls to just say what he thinks out loud is quite the weakness.
#crackship#rarepair#polls#shitpost#poll time#my polls#tumblr polls#shipping#shipping poll#crossover#elon musk#elongated muskrat#fuck elon#elon mask#inauguration#elections#presidential election of 2024#dictatorship#far right
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Angel’s “Goodie Two Shoes.”
Warnings >>> A lil angst, swearing.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4b310c04da139abb1af321cbc92f97e9/24076d87cb31ce25-28/s540x810/99ca7d50615c5684635462943281d394a60d0181.jpg)
(This almost took up three entire pages on google docs. lol.)
It was an average Tuesday in hell. Everyone at the hotel was socializing, until Angel walked in. That's when the fighting began.
“That's bullshit. You get drunk and bitch about them all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfuckers at this point.” Husk points at Pentious. “That one. That one is an insecure buffoon whose lonely ass watches you idiots sleep!” Husk gestures at Charlie next. “Princess, is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problems 'cept her own.” He rolls his eyes. The others try to deny the accusations. ”And you!” Husk scoffs as he looks at Angel. “Don't get me started. I see right through you and all this bullshit and how fake you are.” Angel moves closer to Husk. “You weren't kidding! Oh ho, wow! Kittens got claws~” He aggressively flirts. “Angel. Enough.” You try to de-escalate the situation. Husk visibly stiffens. “Awww~ Are you jealous?~” He flirts, putting his hands on you.
“Angel. I'm serious. Stop.” You shut him down. “This is hell baby, what did you expect? Flowers?” He says in his thick Brooklyn accent. “You’re making everyone here, including myself uncomfortable! Stop!” You raise your voice to just below a yell. “You know what? Fuck you. I don't give a shit what some drunk ass bartender,” he motions to husk, and then to you, “or some goodie-goodie thinks a' me.” Angel was trying to hide the hurt he felt from your rejection by putting on some ‘classy’ sunglasses. “So why don't you just crawl back to whatever cave you came from, porn critics”. Husk growls annoyed at his comment as Angel flips both of you off, with all four of his hands.
You angrily stomp up to your room and slam the door shut. Charlie pokes her head into the hallway, hearing the door slam and a cry. Her affectionate instincts flare within her, she walks to the room and knocks on the door. “Hey….Y/N? Are you okay?” She asks, a tone of concern in her voice. “I'm fine..” You wipe your tears. “Please go away.” *Charlie frowns, worried. This was the second time something like this is happening. Charlie gently puts a hand on the door. No you're not. You're crying,” She pauses. “Can you please let me in?” She asks gently. Charlie waits for a response, shifting her feet as worry and concern fill her heart. She doesn't like when people are upset, especially in her own hotel. She gently knocks again. “Please?” You open the door. Charlie wastes no time in throwing her arms around you in a tight hug. She can feel her own heart breaking that yet another person is crying.
“Angel called me a ‘goodie two shoes’…is that true?” You say through your tears. Charlie pulls back, gently taking your face in her hands. “Of course not! You're not a ‘goodie two shoes’...You're a good person. You are kind, empathetic, and sweet. You care about people. You make the people around you happy. Angel is just...being Angel…” She trails off. “Don't overthink it.”
“I think I have feelings for Angel.” Charlie blinks, letting go of her. “You have feelings for Angel Dust?” Her eyes are filled with mild disbelief. “You...like Angel??” You sigh. “I do.” Charlie’s face lights up with excitement. “That's great! You should go tell him!” She exclaims happily. “I can't. He is really upset with me…” You say sadly, tears still forming in your eyes. “Just go talk to him. I'm sure things will turn out okay. I promise.” You look up at her, wiping your tears. “Are you sure?” You ask, still a little skeptical. “Yes.” She responds.
You walk into the lobby and sit on one of the sofas, reading a magazine. Angel sat down next to you, his long spider-like legs stretching out in front of him as he huffed. The tall and skinny demon’s expression was sullen and tired, his gloved hands fidgeting with the bowtie around his neck. He didn’t immediately say anything, opting to try and gather his thoughts first. After a small moment of silence, Angel took a deep breath and spoke up, his voice quieter than usual but still holding its usual hint of sass. “Look. I know I’ve been real shitty to ya lately. But I’m not tryna be, it’s just how I deal with stuff. Not that what I deal with gives me an excuse to treat ya bad or nothing.. I just.” Angel huffed again, frustrated with his ability to find the words.
“You were right though. I am a goodie two shoes.” Angel laughed slightly at that, shaking his head. He ran his hand through his long fluffy locks and said, “Yeah, yeah ya kinda are Toots. I may just be the right amount of bad boy to get you to break a rule or two.” Angel reached his hand out and gently lifted your chin, turning your head towards him. His usual smug expression was softened, and his usual sass was replaced with genuine worry. “But seriously suga’. Are you alright? I don’t want ya thinkin I don’t care about ya, ya dig?”
“Did Husk put you up to this? Talk some sense into you?” Angel looked away, refusing to meet your gaze. He scratched the back of his neck, embarrassed that Husk had gotten involved in their fight. There was a long pause. “…I dunno if I’d say that exactly. More like gave me a smack upside the head and told me to stop being a jackass.” It was your turn to laugh softly at him. Angel chuckled in return, and leaned his head back against the filthy brick wall behind him. He looked up at the night sky, his long legs stretching out before him as he spoke in a quiet voice, “I meant what I said though doll. I really don’t mean to act like such an ass. I..I really do care about you sugartits.”
“The only reason I was upset is because I knew you were right.” You say sadly. Angel quirked an eyebrow at that comment, and shifted his gaze back over towards you. “You… Wait what?” He asked, unable to believe what he was hearing. “You’re telling me you’re really upset cause I hurt ya feelings instead of because I was being a prick?” Angel was dumbfounded, his expression morphing into one of complete bewilderment. It was the last answer he’d ever expect you to give. He sat there processing your response for a moment, his mouth hung slightly open in shock. After a few moments he chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. “Babe. You really are a goodie two shoes.”
Angel chuckled and reached out to place a hand on your shoulder. When he spoke, his voice was genuine and soft, the usual sarcasm replaced with sincerity. “If it makes you feel better, I really was just spouting random bullshit. I only said that to get under your skin. You seriously have no idea how much I’m into how pure and sweet you are, toots.”
“Easy there angel. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had a crush on me.” You tease. Angel let out another small laugh and rolled his eyes, a smirk spreading across his lips. He leaned a bit closer, and said in a low voice, “Darlin, if I’m honest, that’s exactly what’s goin’ on here. I’ve absolutely got a crush on you, Babycakes.” You look shocked.
Angel placed his hand on your thigh, and added, “You’ve no idea how cute you are dollface. So sweet and pure. I’m completely head over heels for ya.” He smirks. “Me too.” You lean in and kiss his cheek. Angels smirk morphed into a genuine, albeit shy, smile. His cheeks flushed a light pink and he chuckled sheepishly at the show of affection. He reached up with his lower set of hands, cupping your chin and running his thumb over your lips. “You’re lucky I’m a sap for a goodie two shoes, doll.” Angel teased, his voice still low and soft. “I guess I am.” You say, as you two spent the night in eachothers arms.
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#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel headcanon#alastor x you#hazbin x reader#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin hotel fanfiction#vox x reader#hazbin x you#hazbin hotel x reader#angel dust x alastor#angel dust x husk#angel dust x oc#angel dust x you#angel dust x reader#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel x oc#human vox#vox x you#vox x valentino#vox x alastor#vox x oc#hazbin vees#the vees#hazbin hotel vees
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Sleepless Nights
You turned to look at the time.
2.41 am
Five minutes since you last checked.
You were tired and frustrated at your lack of sleep. How did people pass out in seconds? You thought about looking at your phone to google ways to fall asleep, but you knew you were thirty seconds away from accidentally opening TikTok and accidentally spending next three hours scrolling through it.
You hugged Bucky's pillow a little tighter. Maybe if he was here, you thought. You pressed your face into the pillow and counted imaginary sheeps.
Around the fiftieth sheep, you heard something. It was so quite that you ignored it and went back to your sheeps. Your eyes shot open when you heard the click of the door and the thud on the floor.
You jumped out of the bed and opened the door wider. You saw his silhouette across the dark room, "I woke you up, didn't I?"
You laughed, as you turned the lights on, "I wish, shit, Buck."
You walked across to look at his face, covered in blood stains and bruises. You placed your hands gently on his jaw, turning his head softly to survey the damage done.
Bucky held your wrist softly, "Y/N,"
"If you're going to tell me you're fine, don't. What happened?"
"Last day, you know how it is."
You did, but that didn't make this any easier. Each and every time he came back from a mission, covered in cuts and bruises, it hurt you, to seem him bruised and scarred. For Bucky though, you kept your cool.
"Sit down, I'll get the kit."
Just as you moved away, Bucky held onto your arm, "I'll take care of it, you should sleep."
"You're unbelievable."
You shook his arm away and moved to the kitchen to grab the kit and some water, "I haven't seen you in three weeks and you want me to choose sleep over you?"
Even though Bucky had controlled his groans, you heard them. This man was the biggest pain in your ass most days and, UGH, you missed it when he wasn't.
"So fucking stubborn." You huffed.
"Warm welcome huh?"
You kept the stuff on the table and turned to glare at him.
Bucky pushed the loose strand of hair behind your ear and ran his fingers through it, "I missed you, doll."
And that was the end of your mean facade. Literally. You leaned in, to kiss him gently, and whispered on his lips, "I missed you too. So much."
Bucky's eyes lingered on you, while you took the supplies out to tend to your husband.
"Why are you still up?"
You turned back to him as he slid down to lay his head on the top of the couch. You winced when he hissed, "Sorry, it'll be over soon."
Bucky smiled softly, his hands circling around your waist, pulling you closer to him, "Hmm, why are you up?"
"Can't sleep."
"Why?"
You got the bandages out, "I don't know. Is the mission done?"
Bucky nodded, to which you sighed in relief.
"How long before the next one?"
Bucky's smile widened, the bag around his eyes intensifying as he did, "I'm hoping for a while."
"Good."
You concentrated on his face. He really was the prettiest. Obviously, if you said that out loud, Bucky wouldn't be happy, but that's how you felt when you looked at him. Especially, his softness around you. The need to always touch you when he was around, his words of praise for everything you did, his support for everything you wanted to do, how he takes care of you even if he was hurting, all of it made you feel loved. Oh, you loved him so much. So much that you wanted to do everything for him.
"Buck?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm pregnant."
Bucky shot up, which immediately led to him, wincing in pain.
"Bucky, are you okay?"
"You," Bucky's eyes focused on you, "You're pregnant?"
You nodded.
Bucky's eyes lingered down, the shock still very evident on his face, "We're having a kid?"
"I mean, yeah, that's what I hear."
Immediately you were engulfed in him. Bucky pulled you closer into his chest and wrapped his arms around you. You laughed as you wrapped your arms around him, breathing in his very grim filled shirt.
"I love you."
You kissed his chest, "I love you too."
"When did you find out?"
"Yesterday."
Bucky's hands covered your face as he kissed your forehead, "We're going to have a mini you and me, running around soon."
"We have some more time for that Buck."
Bucky placed tender kisses all over your face, "Hmm, my wife, my child's mother and my happy place."
You giggled, "Your happy place?"
Bucky kissed your jaw, "Wherever you are is my happy place."
"Oh, I think you're my happy place too."
Bucky pulled back to look at you, "Really? I thought your happy place is sipping on margaritas in Italy?"
"Guess who's sipping on margaritas with me?"
"Me?"
"Who else?"
Bucky's eyes quickly widened, and all the happiness drained out of his face, "WHY ARE YOU UP?! Did you go to the doctor? Y/N, did you eat?"
You rolled your eyes, "Here we go."
You pulled away from him and sat down. Bucky paced back and forth, infront of you, bombarding you with a question every passing second,
"Can you please breathe?"
"I should start reading some books. Find a safer house for us to live, did you tell anyone else?"
"Yep, all of Brooklyn. Should I buy a spot on Times Square too?"
"This is not funny, Y/N. I need to protect them, if something happens,"
"Buck, hey," You reach out to hold his hand, "stop, don't go there."
Bucky sat down next to you, his head laying your chest and his hands around your waist. You ran your fingers through his scalp, playing with his hair, "You'll be a great dad."
"Yeah?"
"Of course, I have no doubt. I can see you being wrapped around our baby's fingers, doing whatever you need to do to get a smile out of them. The cool dad, their biggest supporter and their protector. Seriously, I'm glad you're my baby's dad. With you around, I don't have any reason to worry about our kids. Just like you look after me, you'll look after them. And most importantly, we'll love you just as much you love us."
Bucky looks up at you, "You'll be a great mom too."
You laughed, "I'm playing for second favorite with you around."
"You'll always be my favorite doll."
You pushed him away immediately after he kissed you, because there's only so much attack your nose could take, "Prove it to me by taking a shower."
He gets up to take his shirt off, "You're no fun."
You scoffed, "And you're the biggest tease."
Bucky laugh echoed as he moved to the bedroom, "I got you pregnant, so mission successful."
#bucky barnes#bucky fanfic#bucky x reader#bucky fluff#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x you#james bucky barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#marvel#mcu x you#mcu x reader#bucky mcu
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Do you ever get stuck in a procrastination loop as part of your ADHD? Like if the thing isn't critically important with a rigid deadline you just keep thinking well it's too much effort or I don't have the time or I'm too busy etc. I haven't been diagnosed but I suspect and this is such an annoying loop
Thanks for your open discussion about your experience. It's been encouraging me to follow in your footsteps (whenever I quit procrastinating and do it that is)
I do sometimes -- more before I had medication -- but I've always treated it as....well, there's a process I call triage, there's probably a less brutal term for it. It's part of triage.
So, pretty much anything I need to do, from doing the dishes to making a doctor's appointment to, I don't know, repainting the bathroom, goes into my digital to-do list, which I keep in Google Tasks. I consult this list multiple times a day, anytime I've lost the thread of what I should be doing or find myself with free time. I generally arrange it each morning so that important/deadline stuff is near the top, but between those items I give myself breaks, so like I might be working on a deliverable for work, but once that's done the next task isn't the next document I need to do, it's something that I would find easier or more enjoyable (say, cooking lunch) . So naturally, stuff that isn't important AND I don't want to do gets bumped to the very bottom.
But that's okay, because the important stuff got done, and the unimportant but enjoyable stuff got done. That's triage -- prioritizing things in a way that makes life livable.
Now, at the end of the week I often just have a list of shit I don't want to or have to do, but that tells me I need to put more focus on those for next week. On Friday afternoon I often move at least one of those things to the weekend to-do list, or I mark it as a priority for the following week. It may not get done promptly, but it's now slightly more important in my mental filing cabinet.
We can't do everything all the time. If you're busy or tired or it's unpleasant that's not necessarily procrastination -- that's prioritizing things that your energy is better spent on. It's good to work on how to get out of that loop -- but also good to give yourself some grace and time to rest.
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uhhh here's my thoughts as one of the native co-writers of the letter sent to rtvs. i said before i won't be making rtvs posts anymore, but i guess i wanna compile all my thoughts onto one as they have been scattered around as the whole thing went down so.
not sure how best to structure this btw, i'm still not good at words and this is a mess atm. but uhh im trying.
one thing i hope will be acknowledged in the apology that wayne correcting the misinformation he said in november was very much possible on his own. i can't be mad that he didn't know about pt's shit right away, but when i google anything about the dev's offensive comments/work in the game, before and now, this is all i can find.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fbbac344178374dccd506e89e599ce93/59197dd8a02a15cc-94/s540x810/b1423ae8ae31e7d6d4151245ef277871396ddff6.jpg)
like not looking into it for one second before making your statement was really irresponsible. it's the main reason i decided to actually say something, at least with my one post about his message. apparently it's an issue with people calling whatever the dev said an 'apology'. and i said in the letter too, one of my goals was for that misunderstanding to be cleared up.
and yep, the response to the letter was definitely disappointing. i hope behaviour like that will not be repeated again too. wayne being so determined to leave his november message as his final word, even when that's what i had an issue with in the first place, and the quick mention that he mispoke on the apology part, it was very dismissive to me.
it sucks that it took two months just to finally admit it was incorrect on top of that.
but specifically for mike. what the fuck? how can you say something like that to someone's face?
"if you really had your tribes best interests-" and "we're just people on the computer like you" are wild things to say.
do better. grow up. broaden your perspective. even if you can't be perfect all the time, none of us are saying you ever were, still, do whatever it takes to not do anything like that again.
you can't pull the "we're just silly idiots here guys" card everytime.
ughhh. not gonna lie, thinking about how kinda weird it is taking a part of this at all since the first thing i did after seeing the collab announcement was just leave quietly. like i only called the collab a big L (💀), unfollowed everyone, and avoided rtvs entirely for a whole month. but i agree with what people have said; yes, there was barely any attention brought to the whole thing anyways. only a handful of people pointed out the issue at the time, but everything else went on as normal and that was it. it was a bummer.
so as a final note, i hope this makes something good to learn from. personally, i can't help but be sure that rtvs wasn't going to acknowledge the issue with the collab if we didn't make the letter. maybe it would've been a later apology after some hindsight or something, i don't know. at least there was a push and acknowledgment they gotta do better.
we're still waiting on their apology right now. i'm willing to wait for a while just to be fair. i'm just not following them though so i don't know how active they've been, sounds like just as usual it seems. well, i just hope a good amount of thought and effort goes into the apology whenever it comes out.
don't know how to end this i'm tired uh.
#kay mumbles#rtvs#wayneradiotv#spaghoner#i dont know how to keep things short oop#might edit later. its 4am rn.
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Tips for freshly diagnosed celiac-havers
Someone I knew asked me for advice after getting diagnosed with celiac. I gave her some. I might as well share them with you as well!
I am not a doctor, and not your doctor, I'm just some guy with celiac disease. Ask an actual doctor for help with medical decisions. I'm in the northeastern United States, so you might have to go hunting for equivalent resources if you live elsewhere.
Are you done with testing?
If you had a tTG-IgA blood test with an elevated result, or a doctor just told you you have celiac, but you have not gotten a biopsy via endoscopy to confirm your diagnosis, WAIT! You may not want to stop eating gluten quite yet. You have to be eating gluten for the biopsy test to work.
It is not fun to stop eating gluten, start feeling better, and then have to start eating it again just to prove that you really have celiac disease.
Your choice in this area is personal. If you know you're going to have to wait years to get an endoscopy, it would probably be healthier and more pleasant to stop eating gluten now and then do a "gluten challenge" for a few weeks before your endoscopy.
If it's unlikely you will ever get an endoscopy (too expensive, inaccessible, phobia, etc), there's no point in waiting for something that may never come -- just stop eating gluten now.
But if you can schedule an endoscopy for a month or two from now, it's probably best to keep eating gluten until the endoscopy. Sorry.
Please eat food. Like, enough food.
The most important tip I got early in my diagnosis is that if you stop eating gluten and you start feeling crummy -- dizzy, cranky, tired, etc -- it's not because you're going through "gluten detox" or some shit. It's because you're hungry!
It's easy to accidentally start eating way less when you start eating gluten free. A celiac diagnosis can make you want to avoid eating because food feels scary and stressful. Cutting a major ingredient from your diet without knowing what to replace it with can also leave you undernourished.
You really need nourishment when you are recovering from celiac! Your body need energy from food to use on healing your intestines. If you've lived with celiac for a long time, you probably have vitamin deficiencies you're trying to bounce back from. The emotional difficulty of adjusting to a new diagnosis is also much easier to face if you're not starving.
All of this advice applies equally regardless of body size. Yes, even if you are very fat. If you're hungry, eat.
Where to find information about gluten-free food
The gold standard for basic celiac info is celiac nonprofits. There's a ton of info about celiac disease and the gluten free diet on their websites. I recommend:
Celiac Disease Foundation
Beyond Celiac
You know what's not a legitimate celiac nonprofit? Gluten Free Society. Do not listen to anything GFS or its founder Peter Osborne have to say. Osborne is not an actual doctor, nor is he doing actual nutrition science. He is a chiropractor (i.e. quack) so bad that his state's board of chiropractors threatened to revoke his license. Don't let anyone tell you celiac means you can't have corn!!! Truly, wtf @ this guy.
Google's AI summaries for searches like "Is XYZ food gluten free" are often inaccurate (because they pick up sites like GFS). I always click through to the source to be sure. "Is XYZ food celiac safe" sometimes gives more useful search results.
I also like this presentation "I Have Celiac" for a super in-depth guide to having and living with celiac. The OP made it to show to loved ones to explain their deal, but it's so thorough that I found it helpful for myself when I got my diagnosis.
I want to buy food that's safe for celiac...how do I do that?
You should be able to find gf food at any supermarket. The selection of baked goods and processed foods may be lacking, depending on where you live, but produce, raw unmarinated cuts of meat, and other whole foods like milk and eggs are generally safe even if not labeled gf.
A lot of supermarkets have an indicator on the price labels to help you -- for example, at Stop and Shop, the labels on the shelf have an orange circle that says "gf" in it under foods that are gluten free. It's best to check the packaging too, since Stop and Shop sometimes gets it wrong!
Something that says "gluten free" or "certified gluten free" on it is safe for celiac*. Something that doesn't say "gluten free" on the packaging may also be safe, so long as it also doesn't contain wheat, barley, or rye, or have a wheat allergy warning under the ingredient list. Here are some tips for what to look for on ingredient labels.
Labels can get real complicated real fast, so just use your best judgment. It's okay if you don't get it right 100% of the time. The goal when living with celiac is to reduce gluten exposure as much as possible, not to hermetically seal yourself in a deep well where a single molecule of gluten can never possibly reach your tongue. You, and only you, get to decide how much exposure risk you're comfortable with.
My favorite grocery store post-diagnosis is Wegmans. My nearest one is a bit of a hike, so I don't go that often, but it's such a treat when I do. Wegmans has a huge gluten free aisle with gf staples and fun snacks, plus lots of food items that can be harder to find gf, like fresh pasta and baked goods.
I also like the online health food store iHerb for finding new gf snacks and ingredients. You can filter the whole store by dietary needs, so you can also find gf skincare/makeup items and supplements if you want. I have a discount link for 20% off: https://secure.iherb.com/rewards/rewards-program?rcode=DRO2876
The best way to find restaurants that can accommodate celiac is Find Me Gluten Free. It's essentially a gluten-free Yelp. People use the site/app to review of restaurants for 1) what cross-contact precautions the restaurant takes and 2) crucially, if the food was good!
Gf food can be expensive, ngl. The National Celiac Association has advice for how to save money on gf food, including a database of food pantries that set aside gf food for people who need it.
GF ~influencers~
If you want to follow some people who Get It, I like:
Phil Hates Gluten (on IG, TT, and YT) has EoE (another gluten-related autoimmune condition). He reviews gf food and restaurants and makes silly videos about the gf experience.
Robyn's Gluten-free Living on YouTube has gf baking videos and advice about traveling, eating at restaurants, saving money on gf food, and more.
Here on Tumblr, @gluttonysansgluten and @certifiedceliac (and I would love more recommendations for celiac related Tumblr accounts!)
Having celiac is really hard. But it does get easier.
I felt overwhelmed and honestly kind of doomed when I got my celiac diagnosis. For the first few months I felt like I couldn't trust any food and I was going to be totally excluded at all social events forever. It sucked. But then I got a lot of practice figuring out which foods were safe for me, advocating for myself at restaurants and when my friends were planning get-togethers involving food, and now things are really not that bad. And I feel way, way less sick.
If you feel overwhelmed or don't know how to interpret the 1 million sources online telling you what's gluten free, I really recommend seeing a dietician. Your best bet is a weight-neutral or HAES dietician who mentions celiac somewhere on their website or online profile. You can generally count on those folks to give you practical information about how to live with celiac, as well as emotional support as you adjust to what is probably a pretty big and stressful change in your life and how you view yourself!
You got this!
*Please do not talk about Cheerios on my post. Make your own.
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